#theres like 0 beauty inspiration for me out here

[homestucky]

Davekat fic recs?

hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them

also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY

M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE)  is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death 

Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE)  i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical  (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting. 

To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck  (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;

Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok  (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )

Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717  (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)

The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist  (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus  (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not  always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess

The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa

Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes. 

three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised

An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.

turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.

Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly

Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it

Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing

Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu

First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!

Feathered by AlloftheFandom  (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….

Soulmates by egossweetheart  (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,

 Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho

The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….

anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!

[booksandtea]

Epistory – Typing Chronicles by Fishing Cactus Genre: Adventure | Indie Released: 30th March 2016 Gifted to me on Steam from a friend

Synopsis: Epistory is an atmospheric adventure typing game that tells the story of a writer lacking inspiration who asks her muse to help write her latest book.

In Epistory you play the muse, a fictional character in a world where everything is untold. Your adventure begins on a blank page, but the world will soon become larger and livelier as you gather inspiration, solve its mysteries and defeat its enemies. From movement to opening chests and fighting in epic battles, every element in the game is controlled exclusively with the keyboard.

As you progress and explore the fantasy origami world, the story literally unfolds in the writer’s mind and the mysteries of the magic power of the words are revealed.

I received this similarly to how I got Old Mans Journey; good friends passing on games they didn’t want in Books and Tea! My friends are the loveliest.

Before I get into this review properly I do need to address that this’ll probably be on the short side as I’m typing this one-handed. And yep I’m aware I can’t currently play this game as I can’t type quickly or correctly enough with only my left hand.

Okay time for the review though. I can hear you questioning me, questioning “why would I play a game in which you type? I know how to type, how is this a game mechanic?” I’ll get there and trust me, you want this game.

The characer you follow in this game is a lady and her fox and you can use the letter keys (shown in the first image above) or arrow keys to move around the map. As you explore and make progress the story is told you by a voice over narrative and the same words appearing on the floor. You don’t type these, they’re just there to tell you the story of the surrounding world and the playable character as she regains her memories.

The typing aspect of the game comes in when a monsters spawn or you come across a treasure chest or doorway that needs unlocking and ta-da now you have to type something. Simples.

As you finishthe main areas and your character regains her memories she also unlocks elemental powers! These are really helpful and vital in progressing as they’ll freeze water you need to pass, burn down fallen trees in your way, or get fans moving again with wind or electricity.

I think the methods used are a great way to tell a story as it requires you to interact with the world, solve puzzles, and take th eright path to be rewarded with more of the story.

On top of this very enjoyable and different playstyle of a game we also have its beauty! The aesthetics and visualsof this game are breath-taking, and simply described as a form of paper craft. I loved exploring further into the game and seeing how different weather, nature, and creature was created in this style. The look alone could’ve kept me going for another 12 hours – in fact it probably will when I’m able.

Additionally I love the fact that if you play through this game you’re going to naturally unlock most of the achievements and you wont really have to go out of the way for any of them!

The ones I do have left to get are about typing a lot of characters successfully one after the other with 0 mistakes. This one is a chore so uh I’ll check back the day I’m able to do i t because no I wont make it easier on myself like The Typing of the Dead required which is a buggy game!

I also don’t think theres enough letters to type in the main game to get some of the larger “You wrote the same amount of characters as [enter large book name here]!” achievements. But thats okay because there is an arena mode where you get to see how long you can last taking down waves of monsters with your typing and fully upgraded magically abilities until you’re overrun. This mode is also a handy part to play through the easier waves over and over to try typing a lot with no typos!

Overall I found this really enjoyable and if you’re still undecided about this underrated game you should also know that Hannie recommends it too!

I really recommend playing this game

The elf girl is my DnD character which my lovely friend Jenny drew.

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  Video Game Review: Epistory #BooksandTeaBC Epistory - Typing Chronicles by Fishing Cactus Genre: Adventure | Indie Released: 30th March 2016 Gifted to me on Steam from a friend…

[lourouses]

bts fic rec list

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171805 We Are Bulletproof by resonae | slight yoonjin Namjoon doesn't pretend, not even for a second, that he doesn't know what Seokjin does to keep them all going. That Seokjin gave up everything so the rest of them could have a chance at something better. //OK BUT THIS IS VERY HEAVY SO UHM YEAH, rated M+ imo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542680 Who Would Be Born Must First Destroy a World by metastacia | namjin sorta Once you make a decision, does the universe bend itself to make it happen? Is destiny a matter of chance, a matter of choice, or an exchange of blood, sweat and tears? All Seokjin knows is that no good deed goes unpunished, and the bruises on his being attest to all the good he's done in his life. In order for someone to be happy, someone else must hurt. The wings on his back, he believes, don't belong to him, but to the people he loves. So, one by one, he rips them off. - In which Jin has the power to change the lives of the people around him at the cost of his own life, and Namjoon will destroy a world if it means he could save Jin.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7193369 can you feel my heart? by euphoriae | vhope "You're so beautiful, Hoseok. I would have loved you forever." Hoseok never wanted to meet his soulmate. So he has his soul tattoo removed, only to find Taehyung, his soulmate, and also the tattoo artist to remove the bond.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12257283 Blackjack by nicowememoney | namjin, yoonseok, vmin [Group052] Jung_HS: anybody there [Group052] Jung_HS: help im alone in this weird small room and its so dark and theres no door no nothing only this weird touchscreen device thing on the wall [Group052] Jung_HS: anyone? [Group052] Min_YG: I’m here, same situation [Group052] Min_YG: Damn if we’re group 052 does it mean that there are at least 51 other groups like this what kind of mass kidnapping is this [Group052] Kim_NJ: I think there’s more. [Group052] Kim_NJ: Why else would there be a 0 in front of the 52 unless they need the third digit? There can be hundreds of groups. [Group052] Min_YG: Wow you’re a smart one aren’t you, now find a way to get us out of here [Group052] Kim_NJ: I’m at a loss. If we can get to talk to whoever abducted us we might figure something out. Pied Piper: Hello. I am your kidnapper. Do you want to play a game? [Group052] Min_YG: Holy shit In which seven strangers are abducted to secluded rooms and forced to play a game of life and death in which they have to communicate with each other through  https://archiveofourown.org/works/9571937 Playground Promises by whenflowersbloom | yoonjin, jinmin Taehyung looks at his Daddy Seokjin, lips turned upward but his eyes look like tears are going to fall out of them. Then he turns his head and looks up at his Papa Yoongi, wearing a gentle smile on his face that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Finally Taehyung stops the swing by grinding his feet on the gravel. He reaches for Seokjin’s hands. “Okay, Papa. Okay, Daddy.” That day Taehyung learns the meaning of the word divorce. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150118 One by whenflowersbloom Everyone is born with a series of numbers on their forearms. People spend their lives trying to figure out what the numbers on their arms mean before they get there, and when they think they know what it means, they either spend the rest of their lives preventing it, never letting the number go any lower, or they try to speed up, eager to get there already, for everything to end. Whatever the end is, it is almost, always life changing, and always never what people think. Kim Seokjin was born with this number on his arm: one. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784607 I will help you climb by fitzgarbage | namjin namjoon punches seokjin in the face. twice. //sounds weird but this is a great story about discovering yourself or something and struggles https://archiveofourown.org/works/7244113 dream a little dream of me by eatjins (fishcakes) | yoonseok Yoongi's dream has always been music and Hoseok's dream has always been Yoongi. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13769220 Always There by Starlight1395 | brot7 Jungkook, the Golden Maknae, sees more than his hyungs think he does. He sees them break down, break apart, and is there to help piece them back together again. Each of them have their own demons to face, but Jungkook makes sure they don't face them alone. What happens, then, when the youngest is the one who is left alone? https://archiveofourown.org/works/2405873 Unrequited by resonae | yoonjin, taejin The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. It can be cured without side effects only when the feelings are returned. Seokjin starts coughing up crimson-red rose petals. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182697 Safe and Sound by bazooka | namjin From a tumblr prompt: Jin is a prince, and Namjoon is his bodyguard. "You're sort of bad at this." "Nah. You're safe, aren't you?" https://archiveofourown.org/works/4065640 Till Death Do Us 'Part by resonae | namjin Namjoon and Seokjin are trapped on the bottom of a sunk ferry. https://archiveofourown.org/works/10683651 Another Time by jawsbar (GryfoTheGreat) | yoonseok Yoongi's neighbour tries to kill him. He's not particularly offended; she is, after all, four. What he is offended by is her father. Her kind, funny father, who smiles at him like the sun and is just as blinding... (Or: Jung Hoseok is the single father of the weirdest child Min Yoongi has ever met, and he thinks he might be falling in love.) https://archiveofourown.org/works/11212779 I lost you by BlueEuphoria | jikook, vmin ''I'm in love, Tae.'' And just like that, Taehyung thinks that he'd still have his place if Jungkook was not there. https://archiveofourown.org/works/11135196 Until the Pain Stops by RunawayFantasy | jinkook Some days, Seokjin is able to get out of bed and act like everything doesn't hurt, that his mind isn't in a constant battle. Some days, Jungkook comes home to find Seokjin unable to move, the pain too crushing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13951086/chapters/32113686 Only fools fall for you by Manek | namkook Namjoon is a fool //this one inspired my huge fic plot drabble (mainly mine's a huge ripoff lmao) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13821624 Out of Time by sopek00k | yoonseok In a world where people can have Timer implants to know the exact moment they'll meet their soulmate, Yoongi isn't too keen on participating on the craze. He has about a million reasons why, he swears it. That is, until Namjoon convinces him to finally get a Timer. What is Yoongi really afraid of? And can he avoid fate? https://archiveofourown.org/works/2695082 sentient by hugeboymino | taejin seokjin’s therapist doesn’t think taehyung exists. https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008504 allegria by metastacia | yoonseok When Min Yoongi's life falls apart and his world is drenched in darkness, he can't help but feel relieved. The piano he'd once loved, he'd once had so much passion for before it became a burden on him, he no longer has to play. He can finally give up. But Jung Hoseok is a ray of light amidst the bleak, pitch black world that Yoongi sees. https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754184 Time Boils the Rain by SodiumBicarb | OT7 sorta?? Kim Seokjin was a failure at love, so he stopped being Kim Seokjin. //this is a special kind of sadness https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827698 star light, star bright (the last star i see tonight) by kwonsoonday | taekook, yoonseok sorta?? Jung Kook and Taehyung fall in love the summer Hoseok goes missing. https://archiveofourown.org/works/6079209 this feeling (this everglow), by inkingbrushes | yoonseok Hoseok works at a bakery and Yoongi is 1/3 of the country's biggest band. Or: the one where they fall in love at a bakery and Yoongi ends up writing a song about it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/5831449 Black Apples by resonae | yoonjin Yoongi is the angel general and Seokjin is the demon's gatekeeper, but Seokjin isn't like any demon he's met before. https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297159 Save Me by resonae | jinmin In 2016, a list of male idols with sponsors leak to the news outlet. Kim Seokjin's name is on it. -- In 2021, BTS is a group with four Daesangs, record-breaking albums, and six members. Everyone calls them a success. Jimin calls them a failure. //disturbing themes https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293480 If I Die Young by resonae | brot7 Seokjin dies. Bangtan copes. Tries. https://archiveofourown.org/works/2436434 Let It Rain by resonae | yoonjin Seokjin was the spirit of rain, and it rained every time he cried. Humans stopped at nothing to get their rain, and Yoongi was going to stop at nothing to see Seokjin smile. https://archiveofourown.org/works/3786412 Will you be my Forever? by flywithtaetae (kimtaehyungs) | taekook From the moment Jungkook turned 18, he had been excited to see the numbers appear on his wrist. 762 Just 762 days before he finally meets his soulmate. 524 374 341 And then it stops.

[blficarchive]

Hi love the blog btw I was wondering if you have any angsty fics with a happy ending?? Love ur blog!!!!!!!

once upon a dream by thedeathchamber

Additional Tags: #Alternate Universe, #Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, #Angst, #Romance, #Slow Burn, #Enemies to Lovers, #Hurt/Comfort, #Emotional Hurt/Comfort, #Mental Health Issues, #Friendship/Love, #Anal Sex, #Bottom Louis, #Alternate Universe - Law Enforcement

Summary: Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

aka. the Medium/Criminal Minds-inspired AU no one ever asked for.

like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas

Additional Tags: #Infidelity

Summary: au; harry breaks louis, louis breaks everything.

a grocery list pinned to blue by dangerbears

Summary: AU. after eight years, louis finally has everything he’s wanted. except for harry.

bittersweet & delicate (tomorrow may not come again) by tolvsmol

Additional Tags: #Suicidal Thoughts, #Biphobia, #Past Relationship(s), #Fluff and Angst, #Suicide Attempt, #Break Up, #Post-Break Up, #Getting Back Together, #Depression, #anxiety mentions later on, #spoiler alert: zayn is the one whos dead, #everyone else is good everything hurts but theyre safe, #louis disappeared a while ago but he’s back, #anne is pregnant and robin’s a bit of a dick, #jay is sick and harry is depressed, #(fionn is barely there and niall is not), #copious use of italics and strikethrough and the word fuck, #use of petnames is borderline disgusting, #Minor Character Death, #Mentions of Cancer

Summary: “I wanna promise you the sun and the moon and the stars and everything in between in the entire cosmos.”“What about something a bit more realistic?” God, Louis was everything. Everything.“I’ll choose you, always,” Louis promised, eyes infinitely softer, fingers just a whisper on Harry’s cheek, “whatever happens, whenever it happens, I’ll always choose you.” He tugged Harry forward, molding their lips together in an innocent kiss.—•—

or the au where louis gives up on harry and harry wants to give up on everything

Falling Into Place by summerwine

Additional Tags: #Angst with a Happy Ending, #Explicit Sexual Content, #Bottom Louis, #Addiction, #Dom/sub Undertones

Summary: Louis let the hot tears stream down his cheeks as he leaned forward to attach their lips. He pressed into Harry’s soft bottom lip and brought one hand to scratch at Harry’s curls. Harry traced his tongue lightly against Louis’ top lip and gently pried his mouth open to deepen the kiss. Every emotion from the past few months was poured into the intensity of the embrace. Every swipe of the tongue was an apology and every soft whimper was forgiveness.

or

Louis and Harry spend nine years apart but inevitably find their way back to each other.

Emperor’s New Clothes by sunsetmog

Additional Tags: #Secret Relationship, #Pets, #Alternate Universe, #Famous Harry, #Non-Famous Louis, #Outing, #Money Troubles, #Mild Peril, #boys making some poor language choices, #Tabloid Journalism, #Harassmen, #tRelationship Negotiation

Summary: The fact that Louis’s most precious belonging was a cat with a face like thunder and an uncanny ability to cover every single inch of Louis’s clothing with cat hair was something that Louis chose not to think about too much.

or: Harry’s a pop star and Louis isn’t, and there’s a non-disclosure agreement where there used to be a relationship.

Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You) by rainbowsandgucci (petzawentz)

Additional Tags: #Background Relationships, #Fluff, #Angst, #Miscommunication, #Falling In Love, #Slow Burn, #Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, #Alternate Universe - Orchard, #Orchard AU, #apple orchard, #Daddy Kink, #References to Drugs, #Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, #Harry calls Louis princess a lot but like, #theres no like feminization or anything, #Oh also there is no cheating, #It might seem like there would be, #Bc of Harry/ZaynBut there is 0 cheating nope nope nope

Summary: ”Due to unforeseen circumstances, help is needed here at the orchard for the impending apple season. Looking for someone able to start within the next week or two at the most, is willing to do whatever miscellaneous tasks are needed, such as picking & packing apples, running the cash register, and other handywork that may need to be done. Must be good with customers, and able to lift up to 50lbs. Help will be needed until at the least the end of October. Please contact the number found on this page, or come out to the orchard and ask for Harry. All the love xx”

—

Louis is staying at his Aunt’s farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles.

Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry’s friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn.

He also starts to fall in love with Harry.

Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

this house no longer feels like home by hilourry

Additional Tags: #Cheating, #Kid Fic, #Past Mpreg, #Rimming, #v emotional sex, #bottom!Louis, #Fingering, #lots of fighting and emotions, #Happy Ending, #Angst

Summary: Harry and Louis have been together for 20 years. Harry cheats. Louis cries. Harry is given a year to fix their marriage.

If You Love Me Let Me Go by Icelandichairdresser_irl_ (Icelandichairdresser)

Additional Tags: #Insecure Louis, #Oblivious Harry, #Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, #Alternate Universe - Fashion & Models, #mentions of eating disorders, #Unhealthy Relationships, #Insecurity, #larry - Freeform, #larry stylinson - Freeform, #Sad, #Crying, #Zerrie act like Louis parents, #Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, #Alternate Universe, #Harry works in fashion, #Possessive Louis, #Jealous Louis, #Jealous Harry, #Sad with a Happy Ending

Summary: Harry loved Louis he really did. He was perfect, for Harry, at least most of the time. You see Louis had this problem with being possessive. Harry had been holding it in, the snappy retorts and the rolled eyes for a while. It was only natural that he blow up. It couldn’t have come at a worse time really. Louis was already feeling insecure about their relationship and this was the tipping point. Louis felt it everywhere he went, that sensation that Harry was in love with someone else. That he couldn’t possible love Louis. That Louis was only a fling to pass the time. And he deserved better, he deserved someone he could love. So Louis tried to do everything in his power to help him get that.

If I don’t have you (there’ll be nothing left) by SadaVeniren

Additional Tags: #Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, #Mating Cycles/In Heat, #Knotting, #Alternate Universe - College/University, #Alpha Harry Styles, #Omega Louis, #Misunderstandings, #Pining, #Unrequited Love, #Frat Boy Harry, #Top Harry, #Bottom Louis

Summary: “What is his problem?” Louis demanded as he stalked around Niall and Ed’s kitchen. They were gonna have a pow-wow and figure out what was going on with Harry.

“Maybe he can’t pop a knot?” Niall suggested.

“Ew,” Liam said.

“Doubtful,” Louis said. “He seemed perfectly fine up until his friend pulled him off of me. Also I may have called him a knothead earlier in the night and he didn’t make a single comment to me about it.”

AKA Louis thought after meeting Harry at a party everything would fall into place. If only life worked out that nicely.

where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting

Additional Tags: #Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, #Accidental Bonding, #Mating Cycles/In Heat, #Dubious Consent, #mentions of mpreg, #Alpha Harry, #Omega Louis, #Angst

Summary: Harry wasn’t wrong about that, not in a general sense. Lots of omegas did seek out rich alphas and betas, hoping or planning to go into heat at the right time. Plenty of omegas saw this as their duty, especially if their families weren’t well off.Worse, Louis couldn’t honestly say he’d never thought about it.If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now.As it is…Louis feels like shit.

.:. .:. .:.

Or the accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

Oh How I Hate This Red String Of Fate by CalamityK

Additional Tags: #Angst, #Angst with a Happy Ending, #Soulmate-Identifying Marks, #Soulmates, #Alternate Universe - Soulmates, #Red String of Fate, #Soul Bond, #the perrie/louis thing is brief and essential to the plot so sorry if that freaks anyone out, #Depression, #Harry has the sight, #meaning he can see the strings, #Slow Build, #Heavy Angst, #Louis in Denial

Summary: Harry thought being able to see people’s strings die would be the worst thing about his gift, until at twenty-two he finally met the other end of his own.———Or that soulmate AU where Harry can see the red strings of fate that tie everyone together.

[flippinoptimist]

> Vel / Sawbones, pt 1

[jilyss]

stood up

inspired by @jilys and @alrightpotter and everyone else who has made lovely group chat aus

this is one inspired by the prompt “i got stood up and you sat down and started talking to me who are you”

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: what would u say if i broke ur heels

Marlene McKinnon: i would murder u w. Out thinkng abt it

Lily Evans: ….

Lily Evans: i broke ur heels

Lily Evans: marlene

Marlene McKinnon: blocked

*

Dorcas Meadows to diagnose me dr lily: lily

Dorcas Meadows: i have a rash on my arm lily diagnose me

Lily Evans: pneumonia

Dorcas Meadows: ???,,,,???? Its getting worse???...

Lily Evans: did u try turning it off and on again

Lily Evans: geez i m not a doctor yet

*

Marlene McKinnon to all boys r twats: dorcas i just saw snape and rosier following after lily

Marlene McKinnon: oh shIr

Marlene McKinnon: Lils

Marlene McKinnon: im coming to get u stay there

*

Lily Evans to Severus Snape: if u come near me again i will grind ur balls in a blender

Severus Snape: you know I’m right

Lily Evans: you’re a white supremacist

Lily Evans: YOU are wrong

*

Marlene McKinnon to Dorcas get me those spicy pita chips: what did snivelus say

Lily Evans: ‘’’’’im a nazi’’’’

Dorcas Meadows: rly

Lily Evans: no but basically

Lily Evans: i need booze asap

Marlene McKinnon: i got lots

Dorcas Meadows: omw

*

Dorcas Meadows to lily needs to get laid: mission imposible: how about Peter Pettigrew

Lily Evans: pass

Dorcas Meadows: u say that about everyone

Lily Evans: and

Lily Evans: i m focusing on school rn

Dorcas Meadows: do u even know who pettigrew is????,,?

Lily Evans:  y es

Marlene McKinnon: just one pls

Dorcas Meadows: lil if you go on one blind date ill take you to nandos

Lily Evans: deal

Lily Evans: but just one and not peter pettigreq

Lily Evans changed group name to i deserve better friends than these weeds

*

Lily Evans to Marlene McKinnon: where am i meeting him

Marlene McKinnon: corner of 165th by tha t pizza plce

Marlene McKinnon: he said hed b inside

Lily Evans: he better b hot

*

Marlene McKinnon to tminus 0 days until lilys date: LILY

Marlene McKinnon: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE STOOD U UP

Marlene McKinnon: IM SO SORRY

Marlene McKinnon: EVANS

*

Lily Evans to blondie + inferiors with rat nests: marlene he was rly hot ur the best

Lily Evans:  wait what

Dorcas Meadows: ?,,,,,,,???

Lily Evans: he stood me up?

Lily Evans: then who was i with last night

Lily Evans: Marlene McKinnon get ur butt over here with the nandos Marlene McKinnon: it’s 3am lily why did u just get back ;)))))

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: who r u rly

James Potter: oops

Lily Evans: r u actly james ?

James Potter: yeah srry i didnt know what to say u just kind of sat down

Lily Evans: ?? I was there first twat

James Potter: u were rly cute

James Potter: what cna i say

Lily Evans: so u just sat down with a random stranger and pretended to know me

James Potter: yes ?

*

Lily Evans sent a picture to group: what Do I dO

Marlene McKinnon: James Potter SAT NEXT TO YOU?

Dorcas Meadows: the CUTEST guy at on campus???

Marlene McKinnon: to clarify

Marlene McKinnon: the star football player who also happens to be v hot and buff sat next to u bc u were cute??

Lily Evans: i got stood up and i guess i didnt know who he was

Lily Evans: he was a little concieted

Lily Evans: and not that hot

Dorcas Meadows: ur in denial

Marlene McKinnon: ur name together is lames

Lily Evans: .....

Dorcas Meadows: so what happened after the date

Marlene McKinnon: u didn’t come back until late late

Lily Evans: ..nothing

*

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: whats wrong with james

Remus Lupin: he went on a date with Lily Evans

Sirius Black: the redhead in his calc class

Remus Lupin: yeah

Sirius Black: oh

Sirius Black: he’s in a daze and wont move

Remus Lupin: tell him theres a spider on his bed

Sirius Black: he didn’t move

Remus Lupin: woW

Sirius Black: im calling 911

Remus Lupin: nO

Peter Pettigrew: too late

*

Marlene McKinnon to Sirius Black: theyre the worst

Sirius Black: tell lily to meet u at the library

Sirius Black: ill get james to go to

Sirius Black: also how did u get this #

Marlene McKinnon: it wastn that hard

 *

Sirius Black to James Potter: meet me at hte library in 10

James Potter: u never study

James Potter: r u trying to set me up again with evans

Sirius Black: no ?

James Potter: wanker

James Potter: leaving now

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: im not good enough to be a doctor

Lily Evans: i just got fired from the pizza parlor

James Potter: yike what happened

Lily Evans: fell asleep during my break n missed my shift

James Potter: im coming with nandos

Lily Evans: im in the tesco parking lot

James Potter: np

*

Lily Evans to James Potter: ur gonna crush it today!!

James Potter: are u coming

Lily Evans: ofc

*

Marlene McKinnon to lily ate the chocholate and deserves disembowlment: lily and james just hugged after he won the cup and

Sirius Black: most sexually charged hug i’ve ever seen

Remus Lupin: is that an apostrophe

Sirius Black: there are more important things to worry about right now

Peter Pettigrew: who put Marlene on this chat

*

Lily Evans to We”RE OUT OF CHOCOCLATE: so

Lily Evans: theres this guy who is hot and toned

Lily Evans: and also happens to be mischevious and smart and is good at literally everything

Lily Evans: but also has a big head and generous and super rich

Lily Evans: and i cant tell if i hate him or like him

Dorcas Meadows: r u kidding me lily

Marlene McKinnon: a match made in heaven

Lily Evans: i cant TELL

Marlene McKinnon: im texting him right now

Lily Evans: NO DONT

Lily Evans: mar i will kill you im not even sure yet

Lily Evans: some people said i just want him as my sugar daddy

Marlene McKinnon: who said that

Dorcas Meadows: snape

Marlene McKinnon: he’s an asshat don’t listen to him

Lily Evans: but what if potter just leaves

Lily Evans: there are way better girls for him

Lily Evans: ones his parents would approve of

Dorcas Meadows: thats bs and u know it

Marlene McKinnon: ^

*

Lily Evan’s Notes: u just do everything perfectly theres nothing you could do wrong and its unfair and you have perfect messy hair thats so beautiful and i could stare at the stars for hours with you just because nothing can stop you and u want to learn everything like i do and your the only person i can call at 2am without worrying and your tall and i think im in love

*

James Potter to Lily Evans: sitting on third floor by statue of humphrey

Lily Evans: can you pick me up

James Potter: we have a quiz in five mins

Lily Evans: its important

James Potter: ill b right there

*

Sirius Black to twats + grammer twat: LAMES HAPPEND

Sirius Black changed group chat name to LAMES: THIRE SNOGGING IN TH PARKIING LOT

Remus Lupin: IM COMING Marlene McKinnon: freaking adorable

James Potter: twat

Lily Evans: shut up black

[memedokies]

(almost) every anon ask since fall 2016

if u havent noticed i am BAD at answering asks so here’s a Big Dump of most of the asks i’ve gotten in the past few months

ps; i’ve excluded pokemon suggestions bc i plan on getting to them at some point

Hihihi!!! What brushes do you use in fire alpaca??  i dont do much in firealpaca (esp not lately lol) but when i did use it a lot i just used the fill bucket and the standard/default brush to fill in gaps n such lol! i dont really draw in it, i used flash/adobe animate for the lineart and just fill in color in firealpaca :3

when did you start animating?   uhh when i was around 11 or 12 when i started digital art i guess? i just used photoshop for the longest time then got flash when i was like 15 or so

 How did you get flash?  i got the creative cloud dealie, its technically required for my school :—-0 

 hello!! what are you majoring in in vcu?? im thinking about going there for college  im in communication arts! omg cool lmk if u come here ill tell u where to get the best bubble tea

 how many fps do you use for your wiggly animations? i work at 24 fps in flash on twos but just end up using photoshop’s 0 second frame delay/ “no delay”?

 Hey love your animations! What do you animate with?  adobe animate 2017! (previously flash) 

You mentioned a YouTube channel but I can’t seem to find a link to it? Do you post processes on there? https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCovvoZxlQjFaIA7A3w_94Zw theres not much atm but i plan on posting a lot more, including process/speedpaints! 

i really like your art style gosh darn!!! everythings so fluid and stylized and nice aaa (also ur animations are goals) do u have any tips for someone still developing their artstyle????  WAH TYSM!!!!! compile art you already like and incorporate aspects from their styles into yours, BUT dont limit urself to one style! if u like something then try it out! do straight up copies (as PRACTICE, DONT CLAIM IT as your own ofc) of stuff you like to see how they work and what you’re clicking with. spending time on fundamentals is MEGA helpful so keep going back to that too! USE REFERENCES!!! draw …from ur soul…what makes u ..FEEL good

 how do you make that burn effect on your lineart? it makes it your pieces look sharper and even more interesting, it’s super cool!!  when i used to use flash for lineart and firealpaca for coloring a lot, setting the lineart layer on BURN with the coloring layer seeping a lil past the lineart would get this effect automatically 

(like on the whiskers. u can see it gets a brighter brown(?) and the warmer yellow on the ears)

but since then i’ve been using sai+photoshop more so i just do it manually! i’ll use this funny pic of me and my cat as an example lol

^i select the lineart/everything i want the funky color around

^slam that INCREMENT button a couple times

^make a new layer under the lineart

^fill that puppo with ur preferred color! something brighter works best, or even straight up white

that’ll give you something like this

then i open it in photoshop

and i mess with the pink line layer’s blending mode..color burn usually does the trick but depending on the Look you’re going for, saturation, multiply and overlay have some similar effects that look cool. 

i also usually get rid of the outermost edge of pink line that’s visible around the lineart, just so it looks a little cleaner? to do that you just select around your lineart, increment/expand selection, and delete/erase in the selection of the pink line layer

uhh yeah! lmk if anyone needs clarification on this, i have some other #TIPS on makin ur art look crusty and funky so…lemme know if you’re interested :—3

What do you use to animate? And, a more specific question, how do you make transparent animated gifs? adobe animate 2017! (previously flash) i export my animation from flash as a png sequence then open it in photoshop, where the background will be transparent and save it as a gif from there nyaaa

if anyone needs more clarification lmk and i’ll make a proper walkthrough :-0

 Hello!! Ur art is rlly pretty and so inspirational and nice to look at!! 💗💗 I was wonderin’ if ya had any tips on choosing shapes for characters? Like, when you draw shapes for a certain character, it looks rlly like it fits with the character’s personality n stuff!! ( e.g: Your Love Live! drawings!! The characters look so good in your style.) I’ve always admired how u did that n was hoping for some tips maybe?? Anyways, have a good day!!💛💖💟💜💝💞💖 HOOGA!! TYSM!!! and YEA you basically guessed it, i mainly just think about the character’s personality and translate that into a shape or Pheeling… 

especially for anime characters i look at the Very Subtle differences in the character’s original design..or possibly canon implications…for example kotori has slightly different eyes (it also says on her wiki page she has soft droopy eyes!) so i make sure to incorporate that Detãile

 anime wiki pages that have details like that is nice, for love live they have cute lil “charm points” which is really cool n helpful! listening to how a character is described in their world can give clues to what differentiates them which you can make more clear in your design

taking into account each characters context is good too, what they do/hobby/personality and how that could affect their appearance/posture/attitude

 YEAH its really fun to figure out certain characteristics and make it evident in their appearance! or. idk thats just what i do lol. hopefully this helps!

Have you ever seen the anime jojos bizarre adventure? alas i have not..i have some friends whom are into it so i’ll prob end up watching it sometime lol

sorry if this is obvious but!! are you the creator of Fork and Knife: Food Fighters?? your gif of fork is super cute btw!! yes i am!! wah tysm!!

Hey my little sister found your animation on an online art gallery and she really loved it! omg cool, thanks so much!!

Your style is so lovely!! OHG thanks!

your blog is so precious i love it a lot! your art is so cute too ^u^ waa thanks!!

Your art and animations art really cool! Keep up the good work! You are amazing!! aahg thank you!! :’333

 your art is fuckening amazing hh broe…tysm

 Oh my gee, I used to follow you on Deviant Art, and now here I am, finding you on accident. You’re still as talented as ever. =w= b hUIOpugh deviantart, my homeland..my origin.. thank you!!!

- O mg I love your art! 💕💕💕 thank you!! heart emojis!!! 💖💖💖

- your art and animations give me so much inspiration, thank you! everything about your style is so fun and it cheers me up omg this validates my top tier goal in life, im so glad!! thank you SO much!

Your style is so charming and adorable ;__; thank you!!

ur art is so gross in the best way possible this is the biggest compliment ive gotten thank u so much. i love making gross squishy awful drawings

IM SO HAPPY I FOUND YOU!!!! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR AGES!!!!!!!!! I LIVE FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL ART!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! BHOLY CRAP THANK YOU!!!

 your art style is very cute ! 🌱 oohg thanks!! thanks for the little sprout emoji, i love her

GOOD ART!!!! good art good art good art EVERYWHERE I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! OHHGG THANK YUO

how do ya draw such cutely its driving me nuts Nuts NUTS !!! I LOVE SPARKLES AND BRIGHT COLORS AND FUNNY ANIMALS..its my lifeblood..thank u.. 

You’re a really rad artist! I’m Glad there’s some cool artists that are local! Have a good time at VCU! oh wow thanks!! 

Ur shapes r so good thanks i LOVE a nice wholesome shape!

I rlly like ur art style my dude thanks!! 

hi! just wanted to let u know that you’re wonderful and i wish u well in everything u do this is making me bVERY HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

 Im love You!! IM L OVE YIOU

that meowth boy is so good. i love him as he is my son THANK YUO i too, love meowth a Lot

 I love how your art is basically lines and curves, it’s very cute oo thanks! 

i love your art style so much!! it’s so zesty? i cant think of a better word to describe but its like. zesty & refreshing & rly rly cool !!! THATS A BEAUTIFUL ADJECTIVE I LOVE IT thank u so much!!!

You seem like you would watch Osomatsu-san. I could see you drawin dem bois in you hella rad art style. osomatsu was the wildest ride of my life. tho i dont think i could physically be able to sit down and draw them seriously ever… 

 Pls make more angry cat comics theyr so halarious plllls 👀 more are on the way!!!!!!

Have you done a meet the artist i sketched one when the meme was still poppin..is it too late lol? maybe i’ll still do it

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[comicteaparty]

May 13th-May 19th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from May 13th, 2020 to May 19th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following  question:

Which comic has your all-time favorite artwork, and why do you like it?

carcarchu

Oh yes i can say this with certainty but the webcomic with my all-time favourite artwork by far is 榴花不及春 https://www.manmanapp.com/comic-1404769.html. it's not just that the art is beautiful but the way the artists create mood and tone is just jaw-dropping. I actually got chills a few times while reading it from the art alone and that's not something that i can recall happening when reading a lot of webcomics, or actually any fiction in general. there's such a elegance to the line weight and movement of the art that brings life to the characters. the artists' use of lighting adds such depth to the scenes, sometimes creating a warm and inviting atmosphere and other times a haunting and foreboding chill. the time i've spent with this comic is not something i'll soon forget(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

This is such a difficult question for me. Gahhh, so many pretty comics out there.... I guess, in regards to artwork alone, my favorite is the 2015 version of Countdown to Countdown by Vel. (https://tapas.io/series/Countdown) Just... such beautiful work. I'm a sucker for detailed painterly styles I will admit, but also the color and lighting is phenomenal. The way Vel sets up the mood with color and movement is amazing. The textures and brush strokes are simply gorgeous! Unfortunately, Vel rebooted the comic to a new style last year, and while it is still really gorgeous, I must admit, I don't like it nearly as much as the original. (What can I say? I have a bias for painterly styles.) Still highly recommend it! (https://tapas.io/series/CTC) I do want to point out some honorable mentions for me: * Ghostblade by WLOP (https://tapas.io/series/GhostBlade) - another painterly comic * The Sixth Dalai Lama by Ze Zhao (https://tapas.io/series/thesixthdalailama) - discontinued as far as I'm aware, but painted traditionally with watercolor! * Wind Rose by Sfera (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/wind-rose/list?title_no=54306) - Painterly again (later on as the artist improved) but also great expressions I will say, I also love deliciously detailed lineart, but I don't see it a lot (especially in webcomics), and I cannot think of one right now :/(edited)

carcarchu

ahh ghost blade is a great choice @Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) and while i agree that countdown to countdown's new art isn't as sumptuous as it used to be for a comic it works better and the simpler art style allows vel to release at a more consistent rate without injuring herself so i really respect the change(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, definitely understand why they changed styles, because oml can a painterly style be taxing

DanitheCarutor

I can't pick just one! But to start off I love the art of Lost Honey (https://www.losthoney.com/), everything about it is so soft, the linework, the colors the character designs, the panelling, it all has such a nice feel to it. The creator's use of color is sooo easy on the eyes, it fits so well with the comic. The linework has such a nice flow and movement, there is never a feeling of stiffness, it almost reminds me of water. Also I'm a complete sucker for traditionally drawn comics. Even though it's discontinued as far as I know, Thicker Than Blood also has really nice aesthetics! (https://tapas.io/series/Thicker-Than-Blood-), it has such a unique style almost like classical art mixed with glass. The designs are detailed yet highly stylized. The quality varied from time to time, given the amount of work that goes into them, but overall I really liked the look of this comic. Carciphona is another one I like aesthetically. (https://tapas.io/series/carciphona) The art of this one has improved immensely since it started, and while I'm not a fan of the look of the earlier pages, I'm loving how their work has evolved. The style is very Japanese inspired, there is a lot going on sometimes, but has its own unique look and is very well crafted. Also I love the action scenes, how they're handled makes the scenes look intense, sometimes grandiose.(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Oh my god I love carciphona’s art! I always get shilin’s art whenever she sells at Anime North I’ve been meaning to read carciphona for a while so thanks for reminding me!

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Hands down it is Black Out Cityhttp://blackoutcity.ca/lvl10.php Jay does these amazing illustrative panels when they introduce a new chapter and it has me hooked on each update! The way that the title is incorporated within the panel is beautifully done, and their attention to detail and effective use of contrast is breath taking. Definitely a huge inspiration of mine! I also want to shout out to O'Sarilho by @Capitania do Azar . The palettes she uses are unique and dynamic, and the layouts read like the comic is animated (there's even animated parts in it!) the way she draws action and portrays horrific parts is phenomenal!https://sarilho.net/en/

(also i love this prompt but i could def go on forever with it hehe)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I wholeheartedly second O'sarilho ^^ it's a comic I regularly reccomend and I probably won't ever get over how lovely it looks! (I'll have to look for more comics who's art I love later)(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I'll throw in Heart of Gold https://heartofgoldcomic.com/. The ethereal palette, the clean and crisp architecture, the panels that work perfectly with the church imagery, and the energy of the lines and brush strokes. SO GOOD.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agreEE

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Okay for me it's two webcomics One of them is Tracy JB's Lackadaisy https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/lackadaisy/list?title_no=39790&page=1 https://www.lackadaisycats.com/ Everything she does is wonderful; colour, expression, character, plot.....her art inspired me to embark on expression work. I remember being younger and being so inspired by her webcomic. Hands down can't find a flaw. The other one is Muted by anidoodles https://www.webtoons.com/en/supernatural/muted/list?title_no=1566 I was introduced to her from her Heather animatics on youtube. I love how her inking and cell shading is simple but VERY effective; the use of bold bright colours and watercolours was amazing. My art style is heavily inspired by hers and overall, I love how she captures people's attention with it.(edited)

Miranda

Oh I love Muted!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

looks at your profile pic heheh

Miranda

I mean, I'd have to say I love "Nothing Special" by Katie Cook. Her art style and color scheme is just easy on the eyes and I love her intricate filled backgrounds. https://www.webtoons.com/en/fantasy/nothing-special/list?title_no=1188&page=1 Phantomarine is another favorite. I absolutely love the painted look and it's been inspiring my newer pages. Every page is just a work of art and I love the color choices and just everything about it. http://www.phantomarine.com/

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

PHANTOMARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’m also going to say Phantomarine

Theres also one I found recently called Bybloemen that has a really cool art style

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh Bybloemen is gorgeous and is so up your alley Sssfrs!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Its so good

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Woah, it's like woodcuts!! I like it!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Ooh this is a hard choice since I see beautiful webcomic art alot. Recently my favorite art and coloring style I've been inspired by are: - The Glass Scientists https://www.theglassscientists.com/ Some of the pages are well executed, I like the character designs, fantasy with alchemists, werewolves and more. Ghost Teller https://www.webtoons.com/en/horror/ghost-teller/list?title_no=1307 I enjoy QTT use of gradient coloring and spooky atmosphere, it looks like alot of time were used to make each strip. I like how the characters are linked to each story, it's not as spooky as more dramatic. They are all short stories Gourmet Hound: https://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/gourmet-hound/list?title_no=1245 When I think of slice of life with a soft pleasant color palette, this story comes in mind. I like to refer to her work as well as other SoL comics for inspiration on coloring.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

@carcarchu ooh I love the different comics you recommend. It's always unique and pretty. I hope there's a tranlation strip for '榴花不及春'(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

GOURMET HOUND

IM SO HAPPY ITS HERE

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Funnily, the webcomic with my all-time favourite art is Order of the Stick. Love how much expression and narrative work this simple style does.

RebelVampire

Definitely Rising Sand https://risingsand.glass/. The art is immensely detailed in ways that are relevant to the world and story, has beautiful color choices, beautiful compositions, amazing light effects, great backgrounds, and so on. And just overall the skill level is so high I'd need another 20 years experience with art to even be able to begin to point out a single flaw.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

^Ooh yes! I don’t know how Rising Sand keeps that quality so high. From their posts, it seems like a bit of a nightmare sometimes But the end product is like its own animated film!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Omg I'm often in awe with those artists making high quality art that looks like it belongs in graphic novels or film. I can imagine those big details will take alot of time to put together. (edited)

I once happen to meet the creators for Rising Sand. Very passionate writer and artist team who have quite some experiences and strong teamwork. (Life goals!)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

so many comics to check out :0

Deo101 [Millennium]

wow rising sand is really gorgeous

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Whoa rising sand is really good

actually reminds me of Tigress Queen by Allidraws https://www.tigressqueen.com/comic/page-0001(edited)

especially the parts where she draws glass and architecture it's very vibrant and full of life

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Gosh I realized I have a trend of loving slice of life stories, so I might end up recommending that genre afew times!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

(don't forget webcomic_recs for recommending good comics in general outside of the weekly topic!)

Unfortunately Korean-only at this time, but I am in awe of the art in this comic. It's not very polished, but you can tell the artist really knows what he's doing in terms of anatomy, perspective and composition. https://comic.naver.com/webtoon/list.nhn?titleId=701535&weekday=wed

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

oops I remembered that, I'll go repost there instead. Thanks Keii. Wow that comic(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I really want to read more Korean and Chinese webcomics, they have a different vibe and story atmosphere. I enjoy looking into them as inspiration on how to stage my webtoon scenes.(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Hmmmm, I wouldn't recommend the one above for how to make vertical scroll comics. That one was originally made for print and then adapted afterward, and it shows.

Still absolutely amazing action art, though!

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

@LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) Heart of Gold is SO beautiful! I agree with you 100 procent!

I will add The Ocean Soul. Holey damn this comic is SO gorgeous!!!! https://tapas.io/series/The-Ocean-Soul

Javi

Gonna add this before this prompt changes. I think Oren's Forge has the best artwork I've ever seen done in a webcomic. Every panel has a setting that's so bold and pristine in color, layout, and background that it begs to be animated. Every color used paints a different mood to show character development and the style of the characters is so stylized and interesting to look at. Even the story is interesting enough that it gets you hooked and wondering what will happen next. Also talking animals, what more can I say? :) There's more discussion in FurAffinity than there is on Tapas so I'm putting two links https://m.tapas.io/series/OrensForge https://www.furaffinity.net/full/18260576/

[mattyslittleworld]

Never Meant

I hear “What are we going through? You and me?” as I watch the sunlight literally tear through the black clouds that were hanging over my town. This is my favorite song by The National - Hairpin Turns. It’s so fucking brutal, and it seems like, to me, he is absolutely desperately fucking annihilated by losing whoever he lost. I’ve been there. And I thought I was going to be there again, pretty soon. I am currently pulled over in my car in a parking lot, as I was on a little drive through the neighborhood. Coffee and some beautiful, subtle music. The sun was out all day, and it’s t shirt weather. So me and Gionna’s ex boyfriends American Nightmare shirt (lol) went on a windows down stroll until suddenly the bright sky was filled with darkness. My one moment to forget about all of this madness was being pushed aside, I just wanted to pretend it was summer, shit was normal, and feel calm and collected, as if literal iced out trucks weren’t being filled with corpses outside of hospitals. We’ve all lost people, in a week, 5 deaths close to my immediate family, bringing my family itself stronger and closer together. Here I am driving into a storm, in a t shirt, just like the current state of American Society. Until.....the clouds part....and as I drive slowly down 35 north....the sunlight starts dancing in the most beautiful way. It was almost an epiphany and it made me think. It made me pull over - within the beautiful chorus of this National song...eloquently tiptoeing in the background. I felt calm. I smirked. If there was a god up top, I thank my guy. But it made me think - hey - we may be walking into a black cloud in just a t shirt, for we’ve been blindsided, but if you walk forward....maybe the sun will come and shit will be better than expected if we stand tall and be brave and love. 

“What are we going through? You and me...”

Currently writing at 2:15 am - two days later than what appears above this. 

I didn’t record any music today, unlike every single day of this quarantine we’ve all been locked into. I wake up, walk over to the mic, which is brand new - and pull up beats or pick up the guitar and hack away. Even if its horrible, its just important to me to get it out. Stack and stack and stack and stack. Ive discovered that during this quarantine - the isolation is making me look inward, and subconsciously pick away at the thing I’ve been chasing for the past few years that ive been so curious and scared about cracking open. But with no distraction of the outside world…because its literally shut down…it makes sense the little bits and pieces of this thing that’s been bleeding into my music….like I said with no distractions…POURS OUT OF ME effortlessly. Im like okay this makes hella sense. With dark city lights and the cage shit and even with the Albee shit I was like…okay this is a NEW DOOR. But do I walk through it? What do I wear? Can I walk back out or will it lock once I get in there? Is it a trap? I need more information. I need more clarity. So without me really knowing what’s in there - I feel like little bits and pieces have been bleeding into my work. And now I finally busted that fucking door down and it wasnt a room…it was the exit to the trap I was existing in my whole musical career. Now liberated. Now free. Now born. This has been so inspiring to me because what people don't really realize about this genre is that its a full on contact sport. Its competitive. Its similar to being an athlete. Which I was my whole life. Similar to basketball - you gotta stay in the gym and the more work you put in...the more shots you take...the better your jump shot is. same with this...theres a fucking skill to it. You can be really good at it. Or you can be trash. And you can utilize it in the most combative ways. It gives me something to attack and focus my need of competitiveness on. Another thing I can obsess over. The samples ive been using in my beats have not ever been used before. These ideas are brand new in this shit. The topics I am spitting about are so serious to me. I want nothing to do with the stereotypical rapper aesthetic - the gimmicks - the drugs….all that can fuck off. I want to make a difference and tackle drug abuse, depression, anxiety, anger, the violence ive seen my whole life, hardcore, my old friends, my new friends, my love life, everything ive experienced. Im using actual real names, with actual real life things that happened with 0 apology about how you feel about it. I want to utilize this to up the worth of my words and vocabulary and paint the portrait of my life. I want it to mean something. I want to make change. Even if its on a small level. Man I feel everything. Its insane how this could all be so evident with just non stop self reflection. You vs. You….who will you become? Like I said…wake up. Hit the mic or bring up beats and just cook. If that hits a wall…just study study study study podcasts and interviews for hours and hours and hours. After that ill play basketball, run a mile, work out, and take it down to Ozark lol. Im invested. I don’t do anything illegal cause im a lil bish ass pussy but I wanna do some crazy shit lolol. 

Anyway, original point, I didn’t record any music. I was feeling restless and packed my shit and drove for literally 5 hours tonight. Went up 287. Hit a few nostalgic spots that I love so much and hold close to my heart. I listened to all the music ive been making. But mainly the objective was to just take a day to free myself of this grind and quarantine and be a fan of music….in the world….and reconnect with that feeling it gives you. I listened to early Alicia Keys, first Drake album, some Russ, some old folk shit, so much beautiful music. Damn it really moved me. 5 hours I drove around just visiting places that my heart are attached to. Those milestone places. Little ones….like a diner in Clark I went to once but something important started there. Or a venue in Hackensack called School Of Rock that I met my boy Alex at…when we attend a Horse The Band show together with a few homies and I got yelled at by some girl by the Merch table cause I used to be so fat and moshed so hard and punched like 14 people in the face and it was so not cool and so out of place lmao. I was in a awkward dress shirt I looked straight out of fucking Billy Madison. Horrible. Its always so interesting to me to return to places like this…after years and years and years of it only being a distant memory…to kind of return and prove it was real. I am such a different person now. As we all are. But I really drifted into a whole other land of opportunity that exists outside of everything I grew up around. Socially too. So sometimes it really does feel like everything and everyone I loved….everything I experienced…was just a dream and didn’t exist. It’s so odd. People I knew for 20 years…have no idea about anything I do now. They just see my social media. But that line is drawn. And vice versa - everyone in my life have 0 idea of my life prior. The people, the interests, the stories I tell are foreign. They’re like hardcore? Whats that? And meanwhile that was the most important thing in my life for literally 20 years….and if you told the people in my life at that time that the people in my life in the future wouldn’t even know what hardcore was….theyd be thoroughly confused as to why I was lying to them. But life goes on…and hey…sometimes you gotta take a trip down memory lane and cry in your car tears of joy that you don’t have to fucking fight loading in your gear anymore and you get to have platinum selling artists touch your beats. Or you get to sing songs with billboard charting artists, who have the biggest billboards you ever seen ,light up Times Square right above the spot you found a 100 dollars with your first love. If you told me that when I found that shit years ago id be like eat a dick we’re going to see Ceremony at the warren American legion peaaaaace lolol. 

Side bar - im listening to the national again. 

But this time the song “Quiet Light” and I want to point out that I think its magnificently adorable that a lyric is

“Im not the spiritual type…I still go out all the time to department stores” 

I have literally no idea what that means but I think its mad cute.

Department stores are cute as fuck because “things” are cute.

Like little things to put on bigger things yanno lol?

I think this song is entirely too amazing to be released to the public, it really makes you question everything you ever made, and reality.  I mean the line “between you and me I still fall apart at the sound of your voice”…OOF. Im just sitting here at 2:46 am on this Sunday, with my eyes closing for small moments to really soak in the beauty of this master piece. Whoever he is talking to ruined him. Ive been ruined, I understand and empathize with this. Primarily making rap and pop music it really opens up my taste to this indie type shit…really falls right into that open wound in the best way. It stings because it hits home so hard, but its so eloquent at the same time. Almost addicting. I want to take a lot of these sounds recreate them, and apply that to the music im making now that exists outside of this genre. I think it’d be crazy and it’d cross two worlds that haven’t been crossed. Damn im out here giving away the tea to you useless fuckers. 

Last night I had a dream about an old friend, that I don’t think is healthy in this time of my life to be around….but damn…it was like I relapsed on the heroin of our friendship. It was the realest shit I have ever dreamt. I woke up - with the exact feeling you get when you go home after you hangout with somebody in the flesh. This whole day it was very real, and felt like I spent a whole night with them, and all my wounds were reopened, all the great times were revisited, and it was just brought to the forefront of my mental. As if we just met. Its crazy dreams can do that. Its just sad that this is such a toxic relationship, and the inevitable cannot be avoided, and a true bond that exists somewhere, deep deep deep down in it, has to be supressed because of the negativity it brings. In the dream we were older, existing without issues, exploring that bond, with issues pushed aside. It was beautiful. I woke up genuinely upset, confused, with a wish that maybe one day we could meet again In a place that’s safe and relevant to who we are. Im at a point in my life where I haven't answered the phone in month for anybody, answered text messages, my bags are packed waiting for this shit to be over with so the rest of my life can begin. Theres no time for friends, love, social activities, or anything that doesn't have to do with business. But there will be a time in the future. This has visited me in the past before. Its interesting when you have to suppress shit that’s extremely bad for you, because its the right thing for you to do…but then the universe bypasses that completely and shakes your fucking soul. During the rest of my day I started realizing that I am really not okay with this person not in my life, like deep in my soul. Its too much of a damn shame, we’ve been through too much together. Every huge milestone in my life as a kid was shared with this person…years and years of growth. Every story I share with people in my life now, was experienced with them, every amazing time, every horrible life altering time. I learned so much, and even taught. I became a young man with them, and then a man. How is it that these new people around in my life have my time…but this person doesn’t? One day we will meet again…when the time is right…..in a different time of our lives. When it’s right. For us. You were my best friend, and no matter how far we are from each other….I got you. In the  depths of my soul and heart. Id literally kill somebody and go to prison for murder for you. But if you happen to read this - you already know that. 

I am listening to “Never Meant” by American Football.

To quote Mike Kinsella 

“Lets just pretend

Everything and

Anything between you and me

Was never meant

Was never meant”

-1-