#theres something here but i am too annoyed to put it together

[tweedfrog]

Both Dany and Sansa being children and yet being continuously described as beautiful and YET the only men who are explicitly "attracted" them outside of their titles are creepy fkn old men like Jorah and Petyr.........jail. hell even.

[midnightblues444]

Meanie weanie |

Executive Ran x executive! Reader

Summary: after years of banter you've learnt not to take anything that Ran Haitiani says seriously, but cant help but wonder when the jokes end

Tags: smut with plot, workplace romance,

Sorry for being so inactive guys!! But here's a little thing

The cool evening breeze softly decorates your skin with goosebumps. The balcony you found refuge on is mostly empty, guests spaced out in huddles of conversation while you gingerly sip on a sweet cocktail.

"Mind if I join you there darlin?" the voice is male, annoying, you can tell as he saunters closer. You raise your brows without a word, raising your glass to your lips.

"So, you here with anyone?" He tries to be smooth

"No actually" you mumble, rubbing your slightly cold arms

"Ah so what brings you here then if not a date?"

"Business, its my company's event, so not really here for fun" your sips turn to gulps, you want this conversation to end

"Ah cmon theres room for a little fun right?" He shoots again, with a loopy grin

"Well I was having some fun before you showed up" you give him a look, turning to face him with as much annoyance you can muster. The offence paints his face as he prepares to say something else.

"Ohh ouch, she got you there man" the familiar sound of Ran Haitianis deep voice,of course, as if he just appeared. The man huffs, embarrassed to say anything else, you motion with your hands for him to shoo and glare before he leaves.

Ran turns to you with a pleased look on his face.

"You're so mean miss (name), it's hot"

You take a sip and glare at him over the rim of your glass, Ran Haitiani, your fellow executive who knows no bounds, hes beautiful unfortunately...tall, not too slender, with sleepy lilac eyes, tonight his dress shirt clings by his shoulders and his sleeves are rolled halfway up his forearm, revealing his tattoo.

Hes a flirt, a reputable man whore, you've tried to stay away from romantically. Being cautious not to fuck your colleague even though hes as fuckable as this. Although youve been testing your luck with some flirting, harmless banter, you call it.

"your dance card full?" He grins,

"Yes actually, theres a line of gentlemen waiting for my hand" you sigh giving your voice an exaggerated trill, putting your glass down

He grins wider, taking your hand in his, like a victorian gentleman, "then they'll have to wait longer hmm?"

Dancing with Ran felt like one of those moments where you catch yourself thinking he might genuinely like you. That the flirty banter is laced with hidden feelings hes scared to admit,

Its in the way his eyes never leave your own, his hand on the small of your back guiding you to the music, he doesn't make awkward small talk instead he makes fun of some poor passersbys and you laugh quietly trying to not make it obvious your laughing at a target.

It's nice, until the the songs over and Yuki,a woman from the company's catering service asks to steal him from you, just for a moment of course, forcing you to leave the dancefloor.

Hes not yours, you know that much, but cant ignore the feeling you get in your stomach when you notice his hand placement , finding yourself stomping back to your hotel room. Its moments like these where you hate company trips, wishing you could be in your own bed sulking for as long as you pleased.

You exit the elevator, deciding to take your heels off before continuing on. Sudedenly hearing your name get called from behind you. Ran, once again just appearing. You roll your eyes as he gets closer.

"Why'd you go?" He tries to hide that hes panting

"Did you take the stairs?" You avoid his question

"Elevator was occupied." hes quick "whyd you go?"

"Just felt like it"

He gives you a look, he doesn't buy it

"I mean...I'm pretty tired and Yuki came so I just didnt feel like standing there and if I went back to our table, the rest of the guys would probably tease me about us dancing together- and I really am not in the mood for that and... why are you looking at me like that"

Hes staring at you, no, hes gazing between your eyes and lips. Hes amused, grinning. "Jealousy makes you look super kissable" he smiles

"Stop just saying nonsense" you correct him rolling your eyes

"I never just say anything miss (name)" he steps closer

You huff in disbelief, looking away, when his hand suddenly on your chin turns you to face him "stay still, and ask me to kiss you"

Your breath hitches, you stare at him and then his lips, your heart races. You know hes being serious and this is now a moment of truth.

"Kiss me then Haitaini"

He grins so hard you feel it deep into the kiss, he kisses you tenderly, his fingers tracing your jaw and cheeks. Your hands gently hold his wrists, yet find themselves around his neck as it deepens.

You feel dizzy when you pull away, breathless, eyes opening slowly, "shall we move then" you sigh, with a gentle chuckle he laughs too.

In your room, he can barely stop kissing you, groaning onto your mouth, through the door to the edge of the bed.

You begin unbuttoning his dress shirt, discarding it. You kiss his chest and neck while undoing his belt. He gets out of the pants, and is left in just his black boxers.

You push him so that hes laying back on the matress, watch me, you wordlessly command. turning so he can unzip the dress. You slip the straps off each shoulder and let the thing fall down to your ankles, watching how his bulge grows.

You unclip your bra, and slip out of your panties. Hes jerking himself breathless, as you climb over him. Sitting cutely on his dick, you grind your hips teasingly as he groans, you kiss him boldly now, continuing grinding, you can tell he can barely focus by the way he sighs deeply.

You suck hickies onto his skin, and begin guiding him inside you, finally sinking down completely, you both let out a drawled "fuck". As you begin to bounce, desperate to keep the friction.

He chuckles at your whines, bringing one hand to thumb at your clit roughly and the other to take charge of the pace, thrusting upwards to your spot almost desperately.

He moans your name so sweetly each time you clamp down on him. And you feel your brain go to mush at how deep inside you he reaches, filling you up so good, your moans being paired with the sound of skin slapping.

"You drive me crazy" he says, and he means it, his thrusts get messier as he gives give you more,

"so close" you gasp, before you realise it your coil snaps, you arch at the way he doesn't stop and keeps fucking you through it. He finishes soon after you, groaning out curses, you feel his dick spluttering release and it dripping down your thighs.

Your panting as you come down, slowly, laying on him before feeling him turn you over. Climbing over you with his signature grin

"I'm not done with you sweetheart"

[cybercritterinyourcomputer]

writing this on a whim because my brain is torturing me about it for some reason and i figured what better place to go than tumblr [this is somewhat sarcasm]. i do not particularly know why i am writing/asking this but im chucking it out there to ease the thoughts so i can go to sleep

to any systems or whatever or really anyone reading who found this through the tags i put here, how did you know you were a system. or plural or how did you start questioning it how did you figure it out. bear with me its past 2 am my writing is atrocious . how did you know if you never knew before?

i dont think im plural, but something wormed its way into my brain today or yesterday and i dont know why or when and and its not the first time this has popped into my brain i think. the thought of what if what if what if but im me. its my me it there its me its my thoughts and there is no other people in my brain just me myself and i. its not quiet it never is but it is just me

i think a clearer question i want to ask is: how can you tell if something is just dpdr[because i fear i may have that, unfortunately it is very likely] or this? this as in osdd or did or whatever

it would appear simple but unfortunately for a lot of my life my sense of self has been so broken and so messy because. fuck all everything happening i guess but its just me, truly. i talk to myself, i draw different versions of myself together, i split myself into many parts to cope with things, to highlight the different parts of me, variants. the wolf, the puppy, the robot, the hermit, the hollow, the dragon, and whatever the Me is i dont know who or what i am when im so many things and nothing at the same time. i didnt completely think about this but also how heavily i relate to certain characters in media but this may just be a nonhuman thing. i see so much of myself in certain characters and so much of them in me sometimes to the point where i dont know where i start and they end. but again i think that is just a nonhuman thing or a coping thing. because its still just me here

where does the age regression and nonhumanity start and where does it end when i rely on my creations of myself to keep me afloat. i only talk to myself through thinking and drawing, i dont talk to anybody else in my head, its all me. and unfortunately theres a pattern where i learn of something and i think about it and i go, "oh, no, no no, that is absolutely not me, never would dream of it! even thinking that i could be that is a crime to all the ones that truly have that!" and then it ends up being too true. the depression, the adhd, the age regression, the therianthropy, the hard denial of abuse, the hard denial of possible autism. my friends speculate i have ptsd or cptsd. i dont want to go down that line of thinking with this, i *know* i dont have it, but the fear

its annoying because ive never really been here present in my body im never really here and the horrors dont end and theres always been something wrong with me but i know its other things. i wont share the details, but the situation ive been in the past 8? months has been horrible horrid no good on my brain i hate being awake. and it feels like someone else took the reins but im still feeling the hurt i still have the memories but they dont feel like mine. my memories have never felt like my own but theyre mine and i have to write everything down or i will forget. i go to work i listen to family shit on me i go to work i do something all day but its not me im still in my room playing a game in my pjs but that was almost a year ago but im still there but i went to work but it wasnt me

because my mind is empty, its just me. it really truly is just me. i think im just lonely. and hoping someone could take me away from everything im always going through or for someone to be there. in my head

there was never anything to make me think this before, a couple times i have but years ago, for no reason, im quite sure its just me. i had imaginary friends as a kid which is normal for kids. i still kind of do but its just me talking to me, im saying two things. i think i just have a lot of possible trauma[i dont believe im traumatized but my friends are quite firm that my entire life has been a shitshow since i was born] and a lot of coping mechanisms plus the fact that i have to pretend for my family and me being trans and me being nonhuman and me so its mostly just that

i dont really know what exactly im even asking. i think im just throwing out a bone and praying for someone to go "yeah dude thats normal youre fine, youre normal" and for my brain to stop ruminating and its annoying. or for someone to ease my curiosity and fear and dread. im throwing out a bone, im begging for someone to glance my way, im begging for someone to tell me its okay. not the begging to be okay but to say that my brain is okay and that my life is okay

[survivalist-anon]

Log 18 prt2: The Magical world of Conspiracy theorists

After an hour so, we head to the car and....see a mail man? A conspicuously large mail man, with wires coming out of his head and connecting to his shoulders. It didn't help he was wearing onlya hat to cover it up and it still looked uncanny from a distance.

The two of us watched as this was clearly another covert Astartes simply placing a package in the now yellow mailbox.

"Oi! What in blazes are ye doin?", Fjord shouted from across the driveway.

The "mailman" just looked at him, "....I am performing my duties as a postal service officer! Nothing to see here citizens of the United States of America.", this clearly was the worst possible acting I have ever seen.

"Hey it's ok! Aldercon knows us!", reassuring him felt strange considering he should have known us.

He stared at us, not really sure what to do. "I do not know who this "Aldercon" is.", now this was getting strange.

I walked up to him and wondered what was going on. "Hey ugh,-", I look at his name tag and it was a generic name, likely because it he wanted to disguise himself, "ugh...Joe....what's going on?", I could see he was looking a little high strung.

"Handler, Aldercon has requested extra vigilance around 50 miles around perimeter of the area and within the confines of the town. Do not fret, this is merely a simple sweep.", he gives me a wink. "Also, here. Supplies for repairs, all the necessary tools for tracking and recording any information and medical ointment.". He hands me THE most heaviest medium sized box.

"Oof! Thanks, I'll put this inside. Have a great day.", I nodded to him as he left into his..... postal truck. Which was literally a large military van with a stolen plated side of a real postal truck.

As he drives off, I wondered as to how nobody has figured out about these guys.

I can tell they knew what to do in terms of espionage and disguises, but it was the equivalent of wearing a groucho marx mustache or the Clark Kent effect....it was obvious but it somehow worked.

Fjord walked up with same level of confusion, ".....I could see his bloody metal hand too....dumb bastard.".

"Wait he had a what??", I literally didn't notice.

Driving downtown once again, I stop by the same coffee shop from a few days ago. From the driver seat, I could see Benedict sitting with his crew again.

"Fjord, follow me, theres someone I want you to meet.", I point to Benedict and his eyes lock on.

"Ah, who is that, another handler?", he scratches his sideburns.

"Nope. This is....an ex-bigfoot hunter.....now he hunts Astartes...or at least he hunts for footage of Astartes.", I turn to see him with a puzzled look on his face.

"... footage? Is that not.... something Aldercon wants to avoid?", he groaned.

"Yep. We're going to see how much he knows... And how much she can tell who is human and who is an Astartes.", he was connected the dots after my statement.

"ah, yes.", as we both leave the car, we enter the coffee shop as if we're getting something.

I turn to Benedict looking at me from the table with that smug yet charmingly dubious grin.

Something tells me....I'm going to have a rather interesting surprise. "So, Fjord, I know we just had some breakfast at home but would you like a snack?", i could see he was sniffing the air and enjoying the smell of the shop.

"Oh no thank you lass. Although everything does smell a bit different. I don't smell the musky reek of corpse starch anywhere.", he crooned a bit.

I... don't want to know what corpse starch is....

"Ah! Miss Drake! A fine pleasure to see you once more.", Benedict announced from his usual table at the right side of the shop. "I see you have a... compadre with you?", he placed his fingers together to act coy.

"Oh Hey Benny.", I joked.

He's grin turned into a small annoyed scowl, "Do not call me Benny.", he pointed.

He than glanced on to Fjord, and gave a huge smile. "COME! Why don't you sit with us. We were just discussing our latest find! I call it, 'the Red legion marine'...", as me and Fjord make a seat for ourselves as best as week could, I could hear the creaking of wood from Fjord's chair.

I was seated on a metal chair, "ugh, you want to switch?", I ask.

Fjord having reconsidering the possible fragility of his seat struggling to handle his bare armorless weight, "ugh...I believe that would be a wise choice."

We make a quick switch.

Benedict was watching us intently, "now....these....are top secret.", he slid a set of four photos, they were of that fast moving marine from the wild cam footage. "I'm... certain you're familiar with this specimen?", I had to come up a bluff.

"...oh wow, ugh, that's absolutely horrifying....but the guys back at the reserve haven't seen this one....yet ....", it wasn't the best lie, mostly because in the past I've people like Benedict walking around the area with the same set of cameras.

Fjord glanced over and made a rather brute observation, "......that's a WordBearer.", he pointed to the symbol on his pauldron, "he has no real allegiance to the Black Legion either....in fact factions have a tough time tolerating each other.".

I give him hard stare. Now that he just stated everything he just said, Benedict may start to suspect on who or in this case what he is....

Fjord, shot me a glance and realized what he had just let slip out, "oh but of course I could just be wrong....I ugh...read it in a book.".

This just made the whole situation almost just as worse, considering that implies somebody wrote a book about Marines.

I can see that the look on Benedict's face along with the rest of his crew we're looking at Fjord with mild suspicion.

"hmmm..... Melissa, care to site what urm....I do believe you haven't introduced yourself to us...", he motions to Fjord.

"Oh, my name is Fjord... I'm very new in town.", giving a smile.

The look of the gang started to go from suspicion to surprise.

"Woah, sweet fangs. Where did you get them done? I've been thinking about doing a set myself but they're expensive as hell", the one I assume is Melissa spoke.

Fjord, understandably having no idea how to answer that again puts us in a deeper hole, "oh they're natural lass, they started to grow when I began my process.".

I give him a little nudge on his leg, "He ugh, did hormone therapy, yeah he was born with a very rare condition and when he was young he started doing this hormone treatment that helped him be a little more physically better... It's just a side effects is hair growth and....teeth growth.", I tried, and most likely I'm failing as much as Fjord is.

Benedict on the other hand was now glaring at the both of us with increased suspicion, "Hmmm..............I have never HEARD of such a thing."

"Actually that sounds cool. Oh my name is Charles McHines by the way.", the beef farmer reached out to shake both of her hands.

After he shook mine, he then as he shook Fjord's, he could see his hand was twice the size of his own. "WOAH, now that's a handshake!".

However what worried me was that Steven, an old peer from highschool, wasn't too surprised.

"Oh and Fjord, this is Steven, I want to highschool with him.", Steven in his usual weird kid self gave Fjord something he liked to call, "The flimsy hand", as a way to determine the personality of those he meets. There's no basis to this handshake, but it is funny to watch as many people get uncomfortable shaking you as possible.

Fjord sort of looks at the hand and tilts his head, gives him an equally flimsy shake of his finger, not wanting to crush his hand.

"...hmm.... bro's got it.", Steven ominously croaks.

"....got...what?", Fjord asked.

"Steven please don't, he's not going to get the joke.", I knew what was coming.

"Bros got....DA BEEEEEEAAAAAANS.", Stevens level of absurdist humor unfortunately is not universal no matter how funny it is to most other people within his circle of Friends

Fjord on the other hand was actively confused. "....what beans? Lorey what beans does this man speak of?".

I lean close to his ear and whisper, "sometimes we call animal paws 'beans' to be affectionate or something.", Fjord just stares at me and then stares at Steven.

"....ok...you have.......rooooots.", and I rather light hearted tone.

Steven has absolutely no idea what did he mean by this but he was just chuffed to hear that Fjord has... Somehow accepted his invitation for friendship.

"wait what does Roots mean in this?", I ask.

He leans to my ear, "I just made it up, your highschool friend scares me. I can't tell what he's thinking.", he cautiously looks at Steven who is now just wiggling and being silly in the seat.

The whole situation was weird but whimsical at the same time, meanwhile Benedict was starting to lose his sense of humor as the seconds go by. "EkEHM....your .... Professional opinion...Lorey?".

"oh I'm sorry, I lost the plot a little bit over there.... But ugh.... I think I have seen this one in one of our wildlife cameras but I'm not certain if it's the same one.... I would really hate it to be another one". I tried my best to be as vague as possible to see how far these guys have done their investigations.

Melissa looks at me and then Fjord, "well you see, me and Benedict have been doing our fair share of hiking as of lately and actually I have collected-", she takes out a small box from under the table, "-some of the things he's been leaving behind! It looks metal as fuck though.", she said opens up the box to show little creepy relics and bits. Stuff that you would imagine people who perform satanic witchcraft or something a lot closer to dark religion would be doing.

I for one am surprisingly shock that someone of her subculture would even dare be so foolish has to even pick it up to begin. If it's a weird creepy thing that somebody made from the bits of the forest that is in the forest, you leave it there and go about your merry way, you don't just pick it up.

"Melissa, I'm not certain if you believe in witchcraft or not but don't you think that this is a bad idea to just pick up what he leaves behind? I mean what if it's cursed.", I dryly ask.

"oh don't worry your little head, I work with this kind of stuff all the time. The only thing I know is that the best way to diffuse dark magic is it a little holy water.", she then on ironically takes out a spray bottle with the words 'holy water', "I had the pastor bless it.", either she knew exactly what she was doing or maybe she is just soaked everything in regular water.

"aye lass, messing with those is dangerous! It could corrupt your soul! WordBearers are tricky bastards!", he then takes a closer look at some of the items and notices that what should have been covered in sigils and blood, now look like they were washed clean. "Ugh?", picks one of the items up and start smelling it. "Why does half of this stuff smell like flowers???".

I didn't pick one up and I start to realize, it smells like Rosemary, bay leafs and basil. "Oh I get it, you did a lot more than just spray it with holy water didn't you...".

I was under the suspicion she knew what she was doing, although to Fjord's displeasure, she was a wiccan.

"yep. I knew there was dark magic when I saw the look of the guy, so I just decided to bring my 'cleaning supplies' and boom! Dark aura no more.", although she's a little bit cliche, I do have to respect somebody who knows how to properly perform all of this.

"yes Melissa took some soap and leaves and that stupid holy water that I'm certain that a Pope has to bless and not some random Pastor from Oregon.... And just washed off the evidence! We could have proven that these marines are actively out there hunting people!", Benedict looked at Melissa with frustration.

"like as if I'm going to take it to the cops, I was going to take it to one of the native reserves around here to investigate if anyone has seen this marine.", she responded.

"oh you were going to take it to us then?", I asked.

"no, to be honest I have no idea who to talk to about this. It's not like as if they're going to take somebody who brought in a bunch of creepy sticks and animal bones macably put together and some weird demonic ritual seriously.", she said with a sigh.

As much as these guys obviously had a lot of time in their hands to the point they would rather risk their lives just to get footage of a Space Marine in the wild, I couldn't help but feel bad or how much exposure they were putting themselves through. I'm wondering by this point if I can just convince Aldercon to let them help.

"hey Fjord, do you think we should go and ask-", he shook his head before I could finish my statement.

"-ask whom?", Benedict stared with anticipation at me. "You wouldn't happen to be holding out on some essential information? Miss Drake? Because I assure you, with your insider information and our resources-", gets up from his seat,"-we will prove to the world that not only these marines live among us..... BUT PLAN ON TAKING OUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCE! They plan on harvesting our DNA in order to make more Marines! Creating an army do battle against the lizard people of Los Angeles and the government slaves in Washington! For you see Lorey, they are here to help us fight against the planetary conspiracy of creating a world order between slave all of humanity!", he says this with the reverence of somebody who has discovered a great revelation. As he looks outside the window to dramatically look at the world he's so adamantly believes in danger due to this very specific reason, I can't help but feel more embarrassed at this point.

Mostly because of how on Earth did not only I get into this mess, but these guys who I can only sum up as the heavily discounted Scooby-Doo gang, have become associated with me and Fjord.

By this point, the both of us probably were Scrappy and Scooby in this situation, completely lost in the insanity of it.

"...ugh... Benedict I don't want to hurt your feelings but that is the most insane shit I have ever heard.", I coldly respond to him.

"see I told you that one wasn't going to work.", Melissa chuckled.

"WOULD YOU QUIT BUSTING MY BALLS.", Benedict frustratingly turns around what gave Melissa with a annoyed glare.

Fjord was just absolutely entertained by the whole situation. ".... Well I do suppose they're here to protect humanity. But I don't know anything about any lizard xenos.", this is like the third time he practically puts a neon sign on his forehead saying "I am a Space Marine ".

Benedict turns to Fjord, feeling like as if his conspiracy theory was validated. "Is that so? Are the Space Marines human? Subhuman? Super human?", he means towards him.

Fjord by this point probably didn't want to give away anymore information, "ugh...I don't know. They could be mechanical for all I know.".

"hmmm robot space soldiers here to protect humanity from the forces of intergalactic darkness....sounds.... plausible... logical even.", you're just as glasses with his pinky. "Intriguing, but where are your sources Fjord???", dramatically again turns to him. By this point he was just prodding him for more information.

"Ben, seriously stop scaring the sexy werewolf guy, but seriously are a werewolf? Because your hair is crazy. I love it.", Melissa genuinely asked.

"ugh-", I interrupted Fjord before he could respond, "well look at the time we going to go and get some camping supplies. I've been planning on going on a trek up the mountain boarder for a while and I just remembered we needed a few extra camping gear. Right Fjord?", I ask him hoping he understood what I was doing.

"Oh right! We needed more...twine.", I'll have to commemorate his dedication to trying to be elaborate.

"....hmmmm... Perhaps you would also like this.", Benedict hands me a heavy duty toolbox, as he opens it up it is filled with extra camera gear for me to set up in the middle of the forest.

"wait you want me to put up cameras around the mountain range?", it was then I remembered why he tried to make friends with me in the first place. I was knowledgeable about the forested area enough to know where there could be more cameras.

"perhaps these would be a much better quality than the ones at your government facility, or perhaps a place just a few miles off of one of the campsites.... Specifically the one next to the mountain range?", he gives me this look knowing that if I refuse, he probably knew how to get me to do it.

".... First off I work with the state, second what if I say no?", this is probably a great chance to figure out what he knew. So far he's told me nothing but absolute insane conspiracy theories, surface level information one could only just look up online and a bunch of semi blurry photos.

From the standpoint of somebody who is doing reconnaissance, he barely knows anything.

"well if you say no, then I'm going to have to post on our online blog that there is an armorless space marine walking around with you, either pretending to be a normal person or someone else.", I was completely floored, I know there was enough information he could have deduced something but how did he figure it out so fast.

".... What are you talking about....", I looked a Fjord and he looks back at me. The both I was practically were caught.

"you know exactly what I'm talking about, Miss.Drake, for you see, just about 3 days ago, me and Steven we're hiking up that area in order to find more substantial evidence other than Melissa's silly box of rat bones!", the volume in his voice was starting to worry me.

"dude can you just lower down your voice a little bit, even if you don't want anyone to know what you're talking about, you sound kind of a little cringe.", Melissa spoke.

"yeah come on, we're here to ask for their help, why are you threatening them?", Charles responded.

"Ugh, well because if they don't agree to our demands then we we will have to push extreme measures in order to reveal the truth! Duh! Anyway, I know very well Fjord is likely a 'canis familiarus sapien' from the Orin's belt region of the galaxy, and that his race has made a deal with the Marines to also protect humanity.", again with the absolute confidence of what he thinks is true.

Fjord just stared at him, "I am a what lad?", he looked at him annoyed.

"You, are ....a space dog man!", handing me a file from a website that clearly just made conspiracy theories from all around the world showing a poorly drawn picture of a Wolfman and science fiction garb. "Sited around 1973 in Liverpool, England! This entity suddenly appeared in a grassy field, as a stumbled around attracting the attention of the village folk, he ran off into the forest never to be seen again! Then continued sightings occurred all the way towards the North of Sweden!", it was then he showed me another page from this file.... With a very familiar photo.

"Ugh, Benedict, that's Rupert D. McCainel. This man believed werewolves were real. Oh shit did you get this from his family website or something????", I couldn't honestly believe how stupid he really was to believe in half of this.

"ah, it's dat man from that book you showed me. Toke said he looked like Grimnar.", Fjord was looking at the picture again. Probably now wondering what on earth did this fat weirdo was talking about.

"Sir Rupert D. McCainel was an avid cryptobiologist far ahead of his time! And whom may I ask is this... Grimnar? An ancient Viking lord? Some unrecorded Legendary folk figure?", Benedict by this point was fishing Fjord.

Did he know what Fjord was?

"Ben, come on. Let's not interrogate a potential friend.", Melissa steaming him down. "Sorry about Ben, he's been a little excited ever since he found this concrete wall near the mountains. Seriously only you and Steven found that thing and haven't been able to find it since.".

Bingo. He knew about the Fort wall.

"Oh is it one of those 'abandoned staircases in the middle of the forest' things? I told you those were abandoned properties that built their stairs with much stronger material.", I sarcastically remark.

"Oh please. This was a professionally constructed concrete wall in the middle of the forest, freshly made and laid with equipment tires strooned about! Clearly a secret government facility is underway. This must mean that these marines are intelligent enough to use complex machinery such as forklifts. Mysterious indeed", Benedict remarked.

"Fjord, what do you think of all of this?", I ask worried if he has had any of his feelings somewhat heard about any of this.

"I'm still processing how am I a dog man... I mean I am flattered but I don't think anything that you said is correct lad. I for one, never heard of any Xenos like that.", he remarked. By this point he's probably been more severely disappointed yet somehow entertained.

"Hmmm, xenos you say?", Benedict continued.

"look Benedict we got to go now, we're a little behind schedule and I want to see if I can find some supplies for my next trip up the mountain. I'll lay those cameras for you, just as long as you stop harassing Fjord with all of this complete nonsense. He's not a space dog from some planning on the Orion's belt or anything.", I sternly respond. This whole conversation had begun to become extremely unhelpful.

"fine, but I will be expecting the footage after your trip is complete! Me and my cohorts will be eagerly awaiting such valuable evidence.", he I just as his glasses again.

".... Yeah just take your time, we're not in a rush to get any of it anyway. I hope you stay safe on your survival trip by the way.", Melissa politely wished.

"yeah sorry about the convo, Benedict could get a little bit too excited about his silly theories. We just want to take a closer look at these guys and see how they're like. I mean I heard there's one in Pennsylvania that acts like a superhero! Like Superman or something.", Charles so far has proven to be one of the more reasonable people amongst this crowd of conspiracy theorists along with Melissa who seems to be a reasonable person.

Steven is ...well Steven.

"we very much appreciate this meeting with all of you. You see like a humorous bunch, hopefully we see each other again.", Fjord surprisingly seemed rather ok with this whole silly ordeal.

"well it's been nice knowing you guys, hopefully we'll see each other around and I will bring back the camera footage. Just as long as you guys stay away from the camping areas around Pine Hills. Unfortunately, my boss James has told me that those areas will be prohibited for the summer due to some.... Extraneous and dangerous circumstances.", I give a polite not to all of them and I look to Benedict, "oh and Benny, please don't accuse people of being some random alien from outer space okay. Fjord's feeling were very hurt.", I jokingly reply.

Dude looks at me with a small look of confusion until he realizes what I am attempting to do, "Oh yes. Oh my poor wee and frail constitution, what would me own ma say if she had seen her own son so brutally hurt.", the hammy performance wasn't needed but I loved it.

Benedict however wasn't too pleased with being mocked. Especially by someone who's easily dwarfing him by a good foot and half. "hmmm indeed.... perhaps I had been insensitive. Good day to the both of you.", I swear if he had a fedora he would have tipped it.

The both of us get into the car, heading off to any outdoor activity store we could find.

I look to Fjord, who was slumped in his seat. "Fjord, are you ok? Look I wasn't expecting Ben to be so....stupid...I thought he was just dramatic.", I felt Benedict's comments were way out of line.

He was deep in though but he snapped out of it a little, "oh, don't worry lass. Nothing that fool said actually meant anything. In fact it was rather entertaining. But it's clear here on this planet, most mortal seem to be very unaware of what anything related to Xenos. But...there something I'm wondering.....HAVE you mortals come in contact with ...."dog-men"?", he chuckled a little thinking about it.

"ugh, no... honestly dog-men from space is genuinely something new to me. So...yeah....let's just say there's a lot of extremely bored people in the world....I'm sorry.", from what I've learned today, Fjord's world seems to have its own taboos and issues that I had no idea about.

His more stern look softened a little, "lass you have nothing to apologize for. Being part of the Vlka Fenryka, we tend to have some....remarks. Hmf, none of them bother me whatsoever. So....what shall we do with this?", he holds up the cameras the Benedict gave. "How 'bout we show him some real footage?", I could see he was giving that mischievous smile of his.

It was a contagious smile too, "I think....he would very much appreciate that actually.

End of Log 18 prt2

@kit-williams @barn-anon @egrets-not-regrets @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan @walking-natural-disaster @starfrost740 @squishyowl @sleepyfan-blog @lawnchair86

[tpher]

Heyo:3

May I request you to tell me about Danny pls bc I am invested and curious and during my wait for your answer I will be looking up Danny okay bye now

hiiiii glad u like him this much omg 😭

his general bio is here and idk what else to add rly! if u have any more specific questions then let me know :>

i dont wanna leave it at that but im rly struggling on what to add uhhhh

-ive been thinking abt the way that he would speak a lot. not literally his voice, but how he strings words together. he gets very detailed and exaggerated, draws a lot of comparisons, theres a lot of long-winded insults and implications. and swearing and screaming/yelling of course but too much of that gets tiringgg. hes kinda dramatic in that way! and hes a songwriter so it would be fitting to have like a.. colorful vocabulary lmao. im basing it off of some of the dialogue writing on glee LOL (i have only seen the first half of s1 last year its not for me). hes very annoying and pretentious in that way. does not speak like a real person and thats ok

-speaking of which! ironically despite being so dramatic, he wouldnt like theatre which topher loves. and topher wouldnt like dannys rock/punk/metal scene. something something both are more alike than youd think so theyd eventually enjoy the overlap and eventually eventually grow at least a little fond of each others interests

-and then on that note topher would enjoy putting dramatic makeup on danny before one of his band performances. danny has no patience and topher needs to hold him down

[pawbeanies]

tagged by: @emo-mmy !!! hi!!! running around in circles around you thank you for the taggg

im. putting this under a readmore because i realized i like talk so much and then i got embarrassed because this is so long and silly and i go on a billion tangents. tagging games fun though !!!

last song:

covering my face with my sleeve paws i may be silly. lately i am getting into vkei bc beloved people in my life are like "you would like it!!!" and i DO !!! this specific song is actually a cover of the op of the 80s rose of versailles anime which like is in itself a whole other fun thing to talk about because of its like influence but like OK its a good somg. its a good cover. lareine is no longer together but like the members have gone on to do other stuff !!!!

favorite color: pink and blue !! i am indecisive and it swaps... but i like those the most

currently watching: sara z's video on dear evan hansen!! for some reason. my yt algorithm is like all musical theatre videos. or episodes of kitchen nightmares. i don't even think i'm all that into theatre but i like listening to people who know more tear into it

last movie: i was like in agony trying to remember what the last movie i watched was and then i remembered. its twilight. it was twilight. im on a vampire kick right now it seems (but also it was like at a friends house and i was only half watching because they brought their pet rabbit out to hang out with us and i was playing with it the whole time and it was BITING ME !!!!) (but also i was like locked in for the baseball scene. the best scene in all of cinema.)

sweet/spicy/savory: cruel i cannot choose one... trapped between sweet and savory because while i love spicy things i cannot handle them ...... i feel like i like sweet things sliiightly more but. hmhm. like when you eat too many sweet things you end up wanting something savory yknow .....

relationship status: single ........... there is an obvious reason why i think you can tell from my posting (its that im annoying and do not shut the fuck up .........)

current obsession: unfortunately the vampire book series i have been like talking about so much, silver under nightfall and its sequel court of wanderers !! i am thinking of what i wouldve done differently in the sequel fkskfksf (also coming to the horrid realization that they were like setting up pegging but i dont think my guys ever got pegged. whats the point. truly. heres my editors notes. why didnt the main character get pegged? like theres so many things that were set up and mentioned and that didnt come to fruition and thats not my only critique its not JUST about pegging. but the lack of pegging is like representative of many of the issues i have with the book. why didnt he get pegged. they bring it up MULTIPLE times and yet we never saw the strap. they describe it in universe as being "shafted" and YEAH i certainly feel shafted !!! i need answers!!!!!!!! im OPENING my googledocs and writing the fic where he gets pegged !!!!!) this will like pass in a couple days im sure. i think. i hope

um also my fun game blorbos i think. yah

last thing i googled: "pin feathers" like the kind that birds have !! i dont remember the context anymore but they're like. developing feathers on a bird and sometimes they have BLOOD in them and then they are called blood feathers isnt that cool... i wish i was a bird

tagging: not tagging anyone in particular because i'm nervous about tagging people fksjkf BUT if you see this and you wanna do it please pretend like i am !!! tagging you !!! do these !!!!!!!! im tagging you in spirit if you want to do these. tagging you with. my mind. yipee

[thekidsarentalright]

Hii! I have some hot and cold takes to sharee. Hope you are still doing that, I don't want to be annoying

1. FOB making literally no shows in LatAm let a bad taste on my mouth. They come only for festivals, and I bet that they have enough public here to play a solo show, at least at the capitals/biggest cities. Probably it lies more on fault of their label, but anyway.

2. Use what Joe said in his book to hate on Mania is disingenuous, since he said similar things about other albums too (IOH comes to mind)

3. TTTYG is not very unique? Like, putting it above most of FOB albums is weird to me, since it's mostly a very standard pop punk album (don't get me wrong, I love this baby made of teenboy rage, but anyway)

4. EOWYG is genuinely bad. Theres literally one of two good songs.

5. Suggesting that a band should break up because you did not like their most recent material is weird, I am sorry. Like, if you don't like it, DONT LISTEN??? And for me, is even worse when it's about FOB, since they are very vocal about how much they like to work, tour and just generally hang out together.

6. The Hush Sound was the best band Pete signed, bless Ryro for sending that link for Pete.

7. Speaking about Ryro, he and Pete have the most intersting relationship from all the relationships between Pete and other band dudes, at least for me

Thats it, thank you for reading <3 I hope its not the worst opinions ever.

def still doing it and not annoying at all, thank you for sharing!!!!

i absolutely agree with this like. while i’m sure it isn’t Their faults personally that they aren’t touring in latam, i’m sure there’s a lot that goes into it that i dont even know about that really doesn’t change that it Is shitty that they aren’t touring anywhere there like. idk if artists like paramore and taylor swift etc can do it i’m sure they could too :/ and i can only hope that Sometime Soon they do

yeah definitely!! his feelings on their albums are honestly probably a lot more complex and nuanced than we could imagine and just using him voicing his thoughts on a project as a way to justify not liking something yourself is kinda shitty!

i have alwayssss felt this way about tttyg (and tbh about eowyg too which will go into my response to the next one fjdnfk), like it shows Promise and isn’t Bad but it also isn’t unique like other fob albums are necessarily. it was a good start but like. they just got better w every album imo

i definitely dont think eowyg as it exists is good either yeahfjrjfndk like i said before. and i think in an ask yday. it has a lot of promise and could easily be good w some tweaks but. isn’t really my thing fjrkfndk

literally if you dont like something and only have mean uninteresting things to say about it dont listen and dont talk about it LMAOOO dont go from i dont like this to well clearly the band should break up like. fob love touring and working together and clearly really love what they’re creating let them be…

tbh have never listened to the hush sound so i will take ur word for this one!!! ryan has good taste tho so im sure theyre good <3

tho i will be a peterick forever and ever i gotta agree pete and ryan are very interesting fr like… there was Some gay stuff going on there man…

[isabelguerra]

boys im gonna be honest i’m deep in my ‘i am never going to post wizard au’ era again both because of The Elephant In The Room and also its so much god damn work. its so much work. im not gonna do that in my free time. so since i know there were people invested in the fic series and worldlore or whatever why dont we just talk about it instead. its got wizards. its got izjo. you wanna hear about the 6 year long wizard izjo slowburn? i can talk for ages about the 6 year long wizard izjo slowburn.

eightfold is a giant spider isabel sneaks into the library when theyre first years but by second year shes gotten too big to keep hiding. isabel tries sneaking out to help her escape but johnny catches her in the act so he gets roped in and it turns into a whole heist sneaks to get eightfold out of the wizard castle unnoticed without getting caught. at midnight. saying bye is bittersweet but on the walk back they start bickering as usual and they hate each other so much but oops oh no wait this is fun. they’re having fun actually. haha get back here. and they get back 2 dorms safe and giggling and shoving each other and its nice and isabel opens up a little bit and says thanks for being there that was super annoying but cough uh. ended up being really nice and shes glad he was there. it was nice not being alone while saying bye to her best friend. so she GUESSES maybe he isnt SO bad or whatever. and then puts the bravado back on and is grinning wide and laughing again and haha oh man did he see that ghost in the corridor with the- but johnny is NOT listening. he is still stuck on ‘i had a nice time being around you’ (<- he is unused to positive reinforcement. he is accustomed to the norm of ‘(i think) people (my friends) like me because im good at exerting myself over others in a way that makes them feel bad but makes us feel good’ and not ‘i enjoyed being around you just for you’) and is not taking it well. also very jarred and offput by the new side of his wizard sport partner, very thrown off kilter. thrown off his groove. they NEVER have good times together. like they dont have BAD times but this has never been like A Thing before but she just said it so now it IS and. okay. maybe he had fun. maybe he DID have fun. and maybe shes good to push against cause she pushes back and maybe he can admire or at least respect the tenacity it takes to do that with him. and maybe it feels cool when that look get in her eye and he knows hes in for a good duel or like shes not looking like that now but this is fine too yknow. like the warm smiling and goofy laughing and dorm fireplace lighting and the tired soft look hes never seen her with before is fine no biggie he doesnt mind. but yes he does hes freaked out. so he bolts and thinks ‘surely that isn’t something i gotta worry about’ and then worries about for the next 6 years

isabel has a tendency to keep even her closest friends a little at bay but unfortunately thats very hard to do when you share a wizard commonroom with a loudmouthed fire hazard who is also your wizard sport partner. so they end up spending a lot of time together thanks to proximity. proximity after about 3 years turns to tentative friendship. tentative friendship after 4 years turns to ‘at the point of late night study sessions draped across each other on the couch because we have shit to do and im not letting you fail because if you do you wont be able to play in the next match and if we lose cause of it im kicking your ass’ (<- ‘i like hanging out with you’). the others come over often but theres only so much time you can spend with someone who is not in your wizard school group versus someone who is and is around you 24/7. so theyre not bffs yes but they might as well be. so one day theyre learning about some idk wizard beast and oops forgot to bow or whatever, johnny gets owned and so ollie&isabel take him 2 the nurse. the catalyst here is isabel knows by now that this is someone she cares about and considers a friend but shes REALLY caught off guard at just how MUCH this is stressing her out. not wizard game related. not in a bickery play way. she doesnt know when she started caring so much, but now she IS and hes someone important to her. and hes hurt. and shes going to stay in this god damn infirmary pacing and foot tapping and doing jumping jacks to get out the energy while her brain goes 100000 miles per second. and she does that for about 4 hours. anyway johnnys fine but even after hes fine isabel is still stuck with the ‘why was That my reaction’ realization. and the answer is she li

6th year max gets his ass thrown in the trio sorcerer championship and literally all his suffering is secondary because this is an izjo au. both their feelings are still there both of them still have no idea what to do with them or how to get them out in normal ass ways. so first night back to school johnny dares everyone to sneak into the woods after curfew and see who lasts longer. hes not 12 anymore but he is 16 which arguably is worse. the bullying has lessened the scoundrelism has amplified. everyone gets terrified. scatters. haha oh its you (record scratch) guess we’re walking around the spooky woods trying to find our friends! gee the atmosphere and flustered skittishness i get around you that makes me uncomfortable because i dont know how to deal with it SURE IS amplified right now! better fall back on familiar tactics and scenarios: friendly frustrated bickering and mild threats of violence. they get in a verbal fight and have a ‘would you shut up’ ‘why dont you make me’ ‘And Then They Kiss’ moment while the emotions are super heightened and isabel, who initiated it, isabel kissed him first, then proceeds to realize what she did and loses her god damn mind freaking out and apologizing while johnny stands there totally frozen and maybe for the first time ever shocked into total speechlessness. and then max falls out of a tree and ollie finds them and ed and rj are with them and sos stephen so theyre like HAHA OKAY GANG ! GREAT DARE ! LETS HEAD BACK NOW ! and johnny lays awake in bed that night kicking his feet in the air

wizard prom in december. they dont go together because theyre idiots and not at that point where asking someone (each other) to wizard prom is something they can do. but they both break away from the crowd at similar times and end up hanging out most of the night, which jsabel gets in trouble with her grandpa for, but before then she has a lot more fun. they ditch the wizard prom hall and go romp around campus and the sports pitch and they Dont Talk About What Happened In September. they dont. its unspoken. if you bring it back up that means its real. oh hey wait hold on whats that. what is that. is that- oh damn its that one plant. with the- yeah its the winter holiday kiss tradition plant. where like if its over you you gotta kiss. yeah like on the mouth. wow that’s crazy. ahahahah damn well yknow it IS the rules so they should probably- cause yknow like, so they, yknow, yeah. yeah like with lips and stuff. man thats sooooo lame and sucky too bad the plant rules say we gotta :/ shoot that sure blows :/ crazy how this world works. cringe. anyway so about that ki- and then max walks in .2 seconds beforehand and ruins the moment and its funny because i like torturing him. max tells ksabel Hey Uh We Gotta Do The Closing Dance Okay Bye. spells broken though and she leaves they do not kiss. but theyre both left with the knowledge that the other person WANTED to enough that they were willing to exploit a cliche social tradition just to find an excuse for it.

im so tired i keep fading jn and out of consciousness writing this. isabels wizard fear monster (franciso) fucks her up pretty badly. she runs out of the classroom back to the wizard dorms, youll never believe who goes after to check on her. T 60k+ slowburn, hurt/comfort, fluff, pep talks, Decisions Made Under High Emotions (second kiss) (johnny initiated kiss) (isabel is getting kissed this time) (hes standing right behind me isnt he) max walks in on them again. isabel is bluescreening. johny promptly leaves. max her best friend max is like ‘i would like to stop always seeing you guys about to lip lock’ isabel wants to be swallowed by the ground. i cant finish this im so tired. look at my comprehensive au romcom plotlines boy

[mayasdeluca]

Sometimes I'm guilty of the thing I'm gonna 'complain' because I love to see my faves interacting on social media, I know it's not everything but I'm just a noisy girl and I wanna see. However it's been really annoying in the fandom how people are acting like a comment or like is an "approval" and the lack of it is "ignoring" or something bad.

Not being specific about just a post or person but in general it takes away from what really matters. Like even since D's directing posts people would do a checklist of likes and comments (and then we saw how people were supporting her even if they never interacted on insta) or lately treating likes to other actors as "indirects" or "fights" when we could just be enjoying their posts or what they're sharing.

I have been here since late 2020 and I don't know in what world some people were because since at least 2021/early 2022 we saw a big shift on everyone as the fandom grew and they changed their ways to interact in public and with the fans but besides early seasons where everyone was hanging out and interacting (as always is in the beginning lol) we only had the lives, takeovers and some random little "treats" for years.

Sorry for ranting here and I know everyone can feel how they want to but I saw so much little tales on how "it used to be" and a lot of poison that gets everyone spiriling and looking for stuff in every detail and I wish they were looking forward to Spampi episode to see her work and not so get anyone's else reaction to it.

Yeah I totally get that...honestly I see both sides of it and have been on both sides at different times. Like theres times when I feel one way and will miss seeing Danielle and Stefania interacting on social media and doing all the lives they used to and getting the BTS and all that but I also am aware that Covid made most of that happen and it gave us a false sense that it was going to continue being like that and it just so happened to be around the time that Marina was getting popular so the timing was just right for everything but even still of course people want to see the actresses of their favorite ships interacting. We know they're close, we know they spend time together on set and hang out and all of those things but it's different than actually getting to see it and this is not me trying to sound entitled, it's just part of the fun in being in fandom.

But then I also get the side of people putting way too much into it and thinking it means all these different things and to go as far as making checklists like you said and comparing who said what and who didn't do this for this person is just crazy. Like obviously there's things that are going to happen that are going to make people wonder stuff but at the end of the day we truly don't know these people or how they really interact with each other because they are always in control of how they interact in public and what they choose to share on social media with us. It's a shame that a lot of it ends up being about the drama of it all and what someone did for this person and not that person as opposed to actually to just enjoying the content that is actually being shared.

It's just the unfortunate part of a fandom I suppose because it happens in pretty much all of them. Instead of just getting to enjoy the ride and soaking in what does get shared with us there's a ton of speculation and drama especially once boundaries are crossed and people have to start pulling away because of it and then things start to shift.

[kaisfoxhoard]

artwork by me

i wanted to make my first post something cool but all i came up with was this rant about the social media platform i called my home for 6 years.

**a rant**

im finding dark patterns on instagram that dont appeal to me and that i cant support. the entire platform is geared towards shortform content and keeping you on the platform for as long as possible. thus the platform drives away small artists and does not give them a chance to grow

1. dark patterns consist of things such as: updating the app and making small changes that nobody asked for, removing the ability to see every post under a hashtag, and reels taking you down unintentional rabbit holes.

ive always been annoyed by recommended reels on your home page taking you off of your home page and sending you into the reels page. i am in belief that your home page should be a static area that is full of things you’d expect to see there such as posts from people you follow. when a reel takes you out of your home page, its very intrusive and i often find myself getting lost down this rabbit hole for 30 minutes and feeling annoyed after realizing what had happened.

when i recently found out that you cant view recent posts under a hashtag, i was absolutely pissed. its a direct attack against small artists and people who want to look for commissions of maybe an artist with a not-so-popular style. or even cheap coms. if i cant find these smaller artists and support them, how can we expect a community to grow and prosper. how can i expect to grow from a hashtag directly. at that point why even bother with putting a hashtag.

2.with the rise of short form content, artists have had to find new ways to gain reach from their posts. naturally, art in of itself doesnt have great video content, as its a picture. while one could argue this creates competitive creativity and drives someone to think outside the box, it ultimately harms and deters new artists from giving it a go, because it requires more time devoted to the entertaining part of the content than the actual artwork being created. most short form content is designed to generate a quick laugh and maybe a like and follow. when artists cant do that, because they want a specific aesthetic to their art, lack of interaction between community and artist may drive their passion dry.

with the fact that instagram is now more geared towards short videos and not photos like it once used to be, the chances of success as an artist is becoming scarce. theres a loss of close knit community that was once present.

thats what i hope to achieve here. i want to bring back that community feeling that we all once felt. i dont make art all too often anymore because instagram has killed my desire to make and create. i want to see awesome art. thats about it. when i create stuff i want atleast a little bit of attention. i dont want to feel like something i spent hours of my time making, flopped.

if ur still reading this…. thanks

i hope its made you realize that, wow. we all waste so much time on reels, and tiktoks too. to me, the short form content just doesnt sit well with me. i want to be enthralled in whatever im engaged with. lets make a cool community together! thankyou artists!

[dykedragons]

yesterday was such a good day!!

im on break now and this is the first time ive had my college friends over for the first time :) im gonna talk about it here to help me remember everything!!

we met up to get crepes and i managed to hop on the same bus as one of my best friends to get there. we hung out and ate and chatted and then we walked over to this Dungeons and Dragons store that was a few blocks away. the temperature was comfortable so the snow was slushy and melting, a couple of us got a little splashed by cars passing by but it wasnt annoying enough to not be funny. i got a beautiful pair of dice for our DND games, they look like tigers eye and have golden letters. the store was really cool and bigger than i remember it being and im glad that i had the idea to go there.

we all went back to my house, played smash ultimate and mario kart, put on a movie, played jackbox, the whole shabang. we ordered a pizza and i made homemade cookies and everyone really liked them! i showed one of my friends Monster Hunter, and just as i hoped he actually found it really interesting and liked watching me play (a rarity from people lol). and omg i had my Session 0 with him too and he was awesome, its his first time as DM but he knocked it out of the park, i was so invested and he made it so atmospheric! im excited to draw my character now! i also got a little baked with one of my friends that were there and we were balling the cookie dough together and laughing about stupid shit, it was really funny.

everyone loved my dog and she got so much attention and was so good, i think she was happy to be around everyone too. my one of my other best friends gave me a little hand-weaved bracelet, and the texture is nice and it fits perfectly- not too loose and not too tight. the house was all nice and tidy and cleaning it wasnt bad at all. everyone got back home safe with no issues in spite of all the snow. everyone had a really good time!

i wasnt anxious at all and i never felt left out. we all socialized as one big group and our dynamic is so comfortable. we all like each other individually as well as as a unit. this is the first time ever where i feel like ive found people that i really belong with. they always make me feel calm and included. when theres misunderstandings, theyre no big deal and we talk about it openly. theyre all pretty physically affectionate which is something i value. i can be fully and truly myself and they love me for who i am!! ive only known them for 3 months but i really feel like we all met for good reason, and the friends that ive spoken to about that share the same sentiment.

im so grateful to have met such good people that i connect with :) especially after a whole 19 years of being judged and left behind. i think im really healing from that, and im realizing that i deserve better than the bare minimum, and that its possible for me to be genuinely cared about. im not as jealous as i once was, im not as sad, or as anxious. i dont even dwell on the anxiety of "one day theyll all leave me and ill be alone." im not worried about it! in a way, im grateful for what ive been through, because ive learned so much, i know where my boundaries are, i know was red flags and fake friends look like. i had a wide-open space in my heart with plenty of room to let these people in. i think its going to be okay :)

[dependable-magnet]

helllo u really sold me on flo/freddie/walter so i humbly come to ask for more headcanons 🥺 any clothing hcs? do any of them share/steal each others clothes? is walter allowed to have a family that actually approves (since flo and freddie’s parents are MIA)? how do flo and walter react to the concussion making our boy a sunglasses feminist king? SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THEM

Oh I am so very glad to tell you moreeee

-For clothing, Freddie and Florence alone never shared much, not for lack of trying. A lot of Freddie's clothes were too small for Florence and Florence's clothes were often very not Freddies style (they're t4t4t your honour he's picky about what womens clothes he will wear, even as a joke) but when Walter arrives? Gloves are off, Florence and Freddie can both wear his clothes and they will. Walter is initially a little annoyed when there's two whole people wearing his clothes that he himself would like to wear, so he ends up wearing some of Florence's clothes as part of a Bit(tm) but actually. Kinda slays. Even if its a little too short. Anyways at some point once they're all moved in together their closets just merge.

-In terms of Walter's family, he does have a mother he doesn't really talk to often, but certainly he goes to certain holiday family gatherings. The first time around he went alone (tells the others, "you guys would hate this") but the next time one rolled around they insisted they really did want to come. While they weren't completely honest about the situation, the story was that Freddie and Florence were a couple themselves that were also Walter's friends, who didn't have anywhere else to be on (insert holiday here, theres multiple), and Walter's family is very much a "take anyone in and feed them and make them feel welcome" type of family.

-I know the Sunglasses Feminist thing is A Bit(tm) but I will use this as an excuse to explain where I think their relationship stands around the musical. While I'm a big fan of letting them be happy, there is a very sad musical in the way of that.

I imagine Florence hasn't formally broken up with them by the beginning of the musical, but has become very distant. While Freddie sees her leaving them as a huge betrayl, Walter sees it as more of a setback, which is why he puts in more of an effort to lend a hand to her and Anatoly, really for her sake. Of course, he's still oppertunistic and wants to get something out of it on the way. On one level he wants her to be happy, and on another he wants to convince her to come back to them. (Telling Florence that Anatoly is married is very deliberate here.)

Freddie's sunglasses feminist awakening is when he's coming to the point of realizing that he is quickly running out of options where he gets to keep his dignity. He too wants Florence back, and he's done crying about her leaving.

The final scene is actually what put me on to these three together. This version of the Walter and Florence end scene really does read as him trying to convince her to come back, rather than berate her the way Broadway feels. Especially with Freddie bringing her her luggage afterwards. He, too, is over feeling mad. They both just want her back.

And soms bonus hcs you didn't specifically ask for!

-They have a cat. They didn't set out for a cat, but they all seperately started feeding the same stray until it saw them walking all together and insisted on coming home with them.

-Not US Tour compliant, but I would imagine Florence finds out Walter is working in assistance of (not employed by. I don't think Walter is DIRECTLY working for the CIA in the US Tour, just doing the odd favor, and is well connected enough that it pays off) the CIA first. Potentially Freddie never finds out. If he does, it leads of the biggest fight of the relationship, and it takes a while to get over.

-The board game nights. Ooooh the board game nights. It gets intense, it gets competitive. You know that one video where the people are playing monopoly and all in character and being dramatic? Moody lighting and all? Yeah its like that.

[enbysforhongjoong]

please ignore:

im just using this as a means to express everything i haven’t had the ability to.

im tired. im tired of struggling. im tired of having happiness right between my fingers, so close yet the minute i set to embrace it, it disappears. im tired of the rollercoaster that is my mind, body and emotion. i feel i have no real control, that im deluding myself with the idea of control.

i wake up most days barely feeling human. i know who i am, things about myself but i dont feel real. my limbs dont feel to be my own, like im feeling things through the clothing that is my skin.

i want to be wanted as do most people. i was to feel emotionally and physically wanted but i feel as if it has to be one or the other. no one truly wants me and im at that point of questioning if its me. if my emotions are too much for even those who claim to love me. i understand it can be exhausting, trust me i do, but i feel i deserve that love and understanding mentally sound and neurotypical people get. i dont want to have to guess if theres a problem, i dont want to play guessing games on if im wanted or not, i dont want the hot n cold where u want me physically but cant bother to get to know me. i feel like if im not just my body then im just a therapist.

even in the platonic sense.

i feel like a means to an end. like at the end of the day my presence in the lives of those around me doesnt make much of a difference. im here to make sure certain people have their support system and are cared for but i dont get the same. it may sound full of myself to say but i truly dont feel i get loved and cared for the way i love and care for my friends, family and lover.

i tried starting a friendship recently… we were texting back and forth for about two weeks and ig they started questioning my intentions??? i genuinely dont know but i guess at the end of the conversation he basically said we could stay friends but he might start taking days or weeks to respond… i had just finished telling him the reason i enjoyed conversations was bc i felt like someone was actually interested in what i was saying and wanted to talk to me.

maybe its over dramatic to say but platonic rejection feels like romantic rejection to me. that heavy feeling on my heart, the feeling like its slowly shattering every time i wish to send a text or i think ab the conversation and how unwanted i felt after. its been swallowing me whole, consuming my brain in its entirety. i feel like im on fire but im drowning. i cant hold myself together because i feel like the tag on the back of someones shirt, those annoying ones you eventually cut off.

i just want to be normal, not feel every emotion i have the capacity to feel at its most intense every time i get the privilege of feeling. i wish i didnt feel like a hollow shell of a person, wish i didnt have to fill my senses and brain with books and fiction to escape the reality that i will never have that. i wish not being happy was something i didnt need to come to terms with.

i wish i was enough for literally anyone. i wish i could be myself without that shame or fear that it will be the reason im disliked, or it will be the reason people decide that im too much to be friends with. i wish i felt worthy of love, of support. i have so much hatred for myself and the circumstances that made me like this. i hate the way i was raised playing so much into my day to day. i people please bc its better than someone being mad. i let the mask slip with him and i feel like a fool.

if you chose to read this then thank you. its messy and unorganized but it wasnt intended to be a think piece or anything. just wanted to put my thoughts in a place where no one knows me.

[catboyzilla]

its night and im missing him, i keep trying to thug it out and convince myself i hate him because i KNOW he hates me and we arent going to get back together cause he fucking HATES ME because i was too clingy. i feel so hopeless bro. i hope someday i meet someone who loves me the way I am, someone who fucking actually keeps their promise to love me always, one person who doesnt just use me for my body and then leave. im so fucking mad at him i never want to talk to him again.

just one part of me is holding onto the hope theres a chance. but he hates me, so why do i hope for a person that can switch up so fast and go from loving them to immediately hating them. i hope when hes older, he realizes that this was fucked up. i hope he actually takes responsibility instead of acting the victim and blaming everything on the other person. i wasnt fucking perfect but at least i loved you. maybe all he wanted was my body. he always tried to tell me he wasnt and i believed him, but ive gotten used for my body so many times. i dont give a shit if this annoys him or izzie or anyone else. i should be allowed to express myself. i should be allowed to share my thoughts, it isnt my fault that they read this. i should be able to say what i want on here because this is where i journal. this is where i speak, vent, rant. i know im impulsive, thats why i come here to speak. thats why i didnt fucking go off on you when you broke up with me. i had a good fucking coping strategy and it helped me stop being toxic. OH AND BY THE FUCKING WAY, i wasnt going to relapse because u couldnt fucking call me, i was going to relapse because my fucking family is horrible to me. thought u would at least understand the pain of ur family hating u would be. that fucking post was me appreciating you. i appreciated you so much. it doesnt look like you did though. i never fucking cared that you would call your friends, i never cared when you couldnt call me, i never cared if i couldnt go over to your house, i never fucking CARED if you couldnt talk to me. i just cared that you were happy. i cared that you wouldnt leave me because i was too much. i never tried to put anyrhing on you. you hurt me so mcuh. i put on an act of being sad that you couldnt come over, i put on acts of missing you because i wanted you to feel wanted. like i always wanted to feel. it hurts that you could just hate me after everything . i dont hate you. i never hated you. id understand if you disliked me but how could u hate me. how could u hate me after holding my face and staring me and telling me how much you loved me and how beautiful i was. how could you hate me after giving me something that you cared about because you wanted to be with me forever. how could you hate me after i held you and let you lay on my chest because it made you feel safe. i dont think you really hate me. i think you are just saying that because you are emotionally distant. you dont like being sad. you dont like being alone. you dont like not having anyone to love. i know all your secrets. you know mine. i dont want my stuff back. i just want my secrets back. i want to give u ur secrets back cause now i know everything about you. everything. and it fucking HIRTS. because i still love you. i cant move on that fast. i admit it, i shouldn't love you, i shouldnt miss you. but i do, and that fucking hurts that i do. cause i wish i didnt. i wish i had the confidence to tell everyone how much i hated you. but i dont, because i dont. i loved you. this is only going to ADD stress onto you. now, you have so many people against you. now, you have no one to support you besides your friends. thats not ever going to be enough for you though. when your up late at night, you will think of me. you will think of the ways things couldve been. you will think of the way you felt when we were together. you will. and when you do, im not going to be there to help you. im not going to be there to comfort you and tell you its all going to be alright. im not going to be there to tell you that you didnt hurt me; that you didnt do anything wrong. you will just sit there, and think of every way things could have been better. the way i feel now, you will feel it. even if its not now, you will. i wont be there. you wont have izzie, you wont have lola, you wont have me. you did this to yourself. no matter how much your dad defends you, it wont be enough to make izzie love you again. she hates you. lola does too. i was trying to help them to get to not hate you anymore, i was convincing them to like you again.

i literally did everything i could behind the scenes to make your life a little better.

why couldnt you just stay in my life? that was the only part that made mine a little better. that i had a boyfriend. maybe i js miss the way i felt in love. maybe i dont miss YOU, but the feeling. but i doubt. i do miss you, i miss your smile. no one smiles like that. i miss your laugh, it was soothing and it made me happy. i miss the fact you liked my body. i miss the fact that you had gentle eyes. i cant imagine how you look with hate in them. like you hate me now. i need to tell myself you hate me. even if i dont want to believe it. i need to get over you. even it i dont want to, you already are over me. idk how thats possible. its been 3 days? but yk. yeah. whatever. im not a victim, neither are you. accept it.

[ladybeug]

Speech bubbles

I put together some thoughts on how I fit speech bubbles into my comic panels after a conversation with @carpisuns! Sharing it here :)

Section 1: some general rules to consider, and then to break literally whenever, for any reason:

(1) Leave more room for the speech bubbles than you think you need. ANNOYING I know.

like look at how much of these panels are actual drawing, vs text. its like a quarter each:

(personally I think these have too much dialogue to be good panels. but theyre good examples of how dialogue can take up a lot of room)

THE REST IS UNDER A CUT BECAUSE IT GETS LONG

(2) Speech bubbles should be positioned in the order you want them to be read, left to right, top to bottom.

(3) Speech bubbles should line up to where the characters are standing, which helps show who is saying what.

I am actually really bad at following #3. its something I try to do, but a lot of the time I end up with confusing stuff like this:

I end up doing this in an attempt to follow rule 2, so you can easily read right to left up to down, but this is just a mess, i cant believe their speech bubbles cross over like that, its a big mess and its hard to tell who's saying what.

this is kinda what I'm going for. adrien's speech bubbles on the adrien side of the panel, alya's on the alya side:

(4) Speech bubbles should not obscure any drawings that are doing important communication work. This sounds obvious but we're putting it in the rules anyways.

TYPES OF DRAWINGS THAT DO COMMUNICATION WORK:

Faces, usually. Often the focal point of a panel. This can be really effectively broken if you want it to feel like someone is being interrupted or overridden by the words that are spoken.

If someone is nervous and wringing their hands, then their hands are now doing important communication work and shouldn't be blocked by the speech bubble

I have good and bad examples of this one.

BAD EXAMPLES:

look at this mess of a panel where I ran out of space and did a speech bubble over adrien's face. adrien's face could have been telling us how he feels in this moment, but instead he seems squished and unimportant:

And this panel, where I ran out of space and had to cover chat noir's tall ears, which should have been uncovered because they are communicating a VERY Important thing to the audience, which is: chat noir made his ears long. that's the point of the comic. and its only communicated in this panel. and i covered it with a speech bubble. not my best work:

GOOD EXAMPLES:

This panel where I purposefully made the speech bubble get in marinette's face, to show that the words are pressuring her:

this works bc you can still see how marinette feels (thats the communication work the drawing is doing).

here's one where a lot of the figures are blocked, but the important communication pieces are visible. you can see chat noir's face to see how he feels, and his hand taking the card from alya. alya doesnt even have to be in this one, you dont need to know anything about her, just that she's giving the card to chat noir:

(5) Speech bubbles go on the top of the panel or at the bottom. That way they read in longer rows, and stay out of the picture. Also faces are usually in the middle.

(6) Less is always better to read. This is a hard rule to follow and I rarely follow it, but it's worth saying.

like its so easy to digest a comic panel with a small amount of text:

and so much more work to do the opposite:

same example, I know, but its a good one. these are hard to read because theres so much text. a tired reader will just skip this so they can have a better day.

there's like a 75% chance you didn't even read the words in this example image, but I bet you read the one that says 'I was born to be a cat model".

(7) if the speaker is going to change how they feel when they say two separate speech bubbles, put those speech bubbles in two separate panels. having the same picture attached to both speech bubbles can be confusing.

here's a time I messed that up:

See?? looks like marinette is mad when she says 'oh good', when my intention was actually for her to not get mad until after nino says chat noir was playing video games. confusing.

Section 2: HELP I HAVE TOO MUCH TEXT AND CANT FIT EVERYTHING IN!!!!! WHERE DOES IT GO! HOW!

Something's gotta go. Can you stretch the content out over 2 panels? or can you say it in fewer words? do you need everything you're showing in the picture, is it all doing important communication work?

If m worried, I like to write in all of the words before I draw the speech bubbles around the words, or add pictures. This makes sure the words are all readable and I can overlap bubbles to take up less space in between paragraphs of text. sometimes I'll also end up putting the bubbles behind the pictures in the comic, to make more room.

I was thinking about this as I drew a comic earlier this week and captured some of my process. First thing I did was draw in the text:

and then once it was written I was like shoot thats the whole panel HOW am I supposed to fit the people in!!!! my original panel idea had been like:

theres no way both girls were going to fit comfortably in the picture. so I thought about what NEEDED to be in the picture in order for the panel to make sense. and that was marinettes face, marinettes hands holding the card, and alya's hand on marinette's shoulder.

so

I gave alya REALLY LONG ARMS so her face wouldn't be cut off by the speech bubble and you still got the idea that she's comforting marinette.

Section 3: That was a lot. What am I supposed to do. Synthesize this into concrete instructions please

(1) Be deliberate with your writing: know what the dialogue will be before you draw the panel. If you're not sure how you'll fit it all in, write it down in a brainstorm. like write down what the drawing will be and where the words will go.

(2) If you're worried you won't have space for the words, draw the words first. it's usually easier to make the drawing smaller than it is to cut down the text.

(3) Ask yourself, can you say this in fewer words? Fewer pictures? What does the reader need to see in the panel, or read in the panel, to get the point. (you can't always say it in fewer words, dont stress yourself out about this one.)

And last step, dont worry about it too much. if it really matters you can find a way to edit it, and otherwise who cares. Have fun!

[tripthelightfandomtastic]

its my first wild wednesday of my senior year of college!!!! im taking a film class this semester and the TA sucks, so i’d like to imagine messing around w your hot, frat boy, film major TA Josh (circa highway tune era). im an english lit major and the film bros at my university are the bane of my existence, but theres something about having a little enemies to lovers with frat boy!Josh that just makes me want to throw all my morals out the window…

As a film school graduate, I completely understand how fucking annoying film bros can be. Holy fuck the way they get PISSED if you say, "I just don't think Quentin Tarantio is a good writer." I used to do that just to make them mad lol

I'd like to think you and Josh would have to do a scene together for one of your classmates short films, seeing as they didn't know of anyone else to ask who would be willing to help out. Josh is boarder line decent to get along with when you aren't talking about film, but the moment someone brings up Kubrick you want to punch him in the face.

"Kubrick was an amazing director!"

"He got a great performance out of her-"

"Um, do you even know the bullshit he put Shelley Duvall through for The Shining?!"

"By making her stay up for days on end with no sleep, and gaslighting her into thinking everyone on set hated her."

"It's still a good movie."

"You're a dick." You roll your eyes as you look over the shooting schedule, the two of you rehersing in Josh's off campus apartment. Running lines with Josh was nice most of the time, he was a good actor, it shocked you he wanted to be behind the camera instead of infront of it. You on the other hand, were just doing a classmate a solid in hopes that they would run your audio for your short film. "This script is fucking awful." Josh whispers frustrated from trying to figure out a non cringey way to read lines from a wannabe horror movie. "Yeah, its pretty cheesy." You agree, flipping through the pages of bad dialogue consisting of clichés, corny one liners and awkward flirty dialogue that only proves the guy who wrote it doesn't really know much about women.

"So what's the plan here? Your character is the killer, predictable, and I'm the helpless victim, sexist, and you're taunting me with a knife that I end up stabbing you with, wow how original." You sigh tossing the script on to the coffee table, turning to face Josh on the couch as he writes in his script. "It really does need some changes." He agrees as he continues his scribbling. "What are you writing?" "Some notes on dialogue, I'm thinking something that flows more naturally than, 'Oh no, you were the killer all along?' Something a little more exciting." Josh explains.

Josh moves closer to you on the couch, "So how am I supposed to move, I go from having you against the wall, to you pushing me to the ground?" Josh asks confused, "Well, you could choke me and I could pull a knife?" You suggest, Josh's eyes light up, "Do you know how to be stage choked?" He asks, "No? Do you?" You answer curiously.

The two of you end up rewriting most of the scene completely, a flirty back and forth where the killer doesn't reveal his plot but simply distracts the would be victim with seduction, "And then I stab you in the gut, telling the audience that I figured it out when you referred to the very first victim in the past tense when no one else knew that they were dead yet. It makes my character seem like less of the ditzy bimbo and more of the Nancy Drew type." You add. "What you don't wanna be a bimbo? I love bimbos." Josh smirks, "I bet you do. I have no problem playing anything, I just hate lazy writing." You justify.

"I took stage combat last semester."

"Of course you did."

"Hey, it was a good class, and obviously very helpful now."

You can feel yourself blushing, this is stupid, like where am I supposed to look? He's so close to me, do I look into his eyes? That's too intense, maybe his mouth, oh, his lips are pretty, no no that's weird, he's gonna get the wrong impression, I'll just look in his eyes, his stupid, big, brown eyes. It was not lost on you that Josh was cute, fuck, he's the cutest guy in the whole department, and him holding you like this and this close is not helping.

"Okay, whatever nerd, just show me." You sigh exasperated, moving closer to Josh. He brings his hand up to you, "Okay, so in stunt work, all of the responsibility of selling it is on the 'victim' in the scene, so you gotta make it look realistic." Josh explains as he gently places his hand on your throat adding zero pressure. "So you don't squeeze at all?" "Well, only a little bit, but just here, on the sides of your neck, not your actual windpipe." He says, his hand gently squeezing. "Oh yeah, that feels...fine." You say as you look him over.

"So what do I do?" You ask him softly, Josh's eyes search yours, "Uh, you can um, put your hands on my arm and my wrist, make it look like you're trying to push me away?" He suggests. You bring your hands up to his forearm, leaning back against the arm of the couch as you place your hands on his forearm and bicep, squeezing the muscle beneath for effect. Oh? That's nice, hm, a little muscle there, what a suprise, you think to yourself as your eyes look over his arm. His fingers give your throat a gentle squeeze, bringing you back to his eyes, "Does that feel okay?" Josh asks gently, his fingers applying just the smallest bit of pressure. You can feel your heartbeat slamming in your chest and your stomach doing a flip. "Y-Yeah, uh you can squeeze a little harder, if you want?" You say bringing your hand on top of his on your throat.

Josh's eyes look to your neck as he feels your hand, helping him tighten his grasp just a tad more. "I don't wanna hurt you." Josh whispers, his eyes looking into your eyes, "You aren't. It's, uh, nice." You say softly, his hold semi affecting your voice. "That's my line, 'I don't wanna hurt you', remember? I think you wrote it." Josh smiles shyly as he moves in a little closer. "Oh," you chuckle nervously. Fuck he's cute, "Maybe I am more of the ditzy bimbo type." You respond quietly, a subtle rasp to your voice. Josh smirks as he looks at your lips and back to your eyes, "I do love bimbos." He whispers as he brings his lips to yours, kissing you gently.

His kiss is soft, warm and gentle, he tastes sweet, like cinnamon, and his lips are softer than you thought they'd be. You kiss him back and soon your hands move to his shoulders, pulling him close to you. His hand lets go of your throat as he lays more against your front and between your legs, his hand in your hair.

His tongue enters your mouth and you can't help but moan into his open mouth, his fingers scratch gently at your scalp as he pulls your hair so he can kiss at your neck. You grind against him, wanting to bring him even closer still, "Fuck, Josh." You whisper as you pull at his shirt, slipping your hands to rest on the warm skin of his back underneath. "Do you want to take this to my bedroom?" Josh asks slyly, kissing and licking up your neck. "Yes, please." You whine, he pulls away, getting up and picking you up to take you into his room.

"I swear to God if there is a Pulp Fiction poster in there-"

"Let's just stay out here then."