#theres too many people to tag i did not think this through

[rkgknno]

HAPPY 2023!!! <3 Japan National team shrine visit, minus Iwa-chan as he has already been booked months prior. (they got custom seijoh haori made so they could all be matching and dunk on the other shrine goers)

[vxiphoid]

RAINY REVERIE

❨ summary ❩ obey me › things they would do to cheer you up. hearts and minds have a tendency to break when there are too many thoughts in your head at once, how would they help?

tags ✧ nb!reader, established relationship, reader is going through it😞, slightly suggestive in lucifer’s part?, IM SORRY IF YOU HAVE A CAT ALLERGY (mammon), idol slander, bathing together, itty bitty angst in belphie’s.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ i tried to make the reader a bit different for each brother because people deal with being upset differently… but hello?? theres like 130 of you now, tysm for all of the support, i love you all sm sm :(<33

⌜ 2.5+ ⌟

obey me masterlist

LUCIFER

♫ wishful thinking - benee

╰ he understands more than anyone how stressful school or work can be. doesn’t help that rad piles more shit on as you advance. he’s offered to give you a message, pressing small kisses in his wake before smearing oil onto your skin.

“you did so well today.” lucifer praises gently against your skin, thumbing the junction between your shoulder blades. you sigh contentedly as he massages into your muscles with ease, his fingers brushing your skin in gentle strokes to help ease out the knots and tension that have accumulated over the day. you inhale sharply at the contact, and a small smile quirks up the corners of your mouth when you hear him hum happily at your reaction. “your hands feel good, not that i don’t like the feeling of your gloves, your hands just feel better. i like your hands on me.” you murmur, leaning further back into his touch, basking in his affectionate caress. there was a stutter in lucifer’s movements as he stiffened momentarily before relaxing once more, but it didn’t deter his hand from its progress. “well, i know that… i figured i take my gloves off a lot in your company since you like the feeling of them so much.” he murmurs, sounding slightly embarrassed by his own statement as he continues to massage at your shoulders. he makes sure his thumbs are positioned correctly on either side of your spine, his touch feather light. “i thought this was pure?” you ask teasingly, peering over your shoulder. lucifer gives you an unamused look, pushing harder into the small of your back which elicits another soft sigh from you. “this is pure. you’re tainting it.”

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MAMMON

♫ (your cat) don’t stand a chance - mustard service

╰ last thing he wants is you going to bed angry or upset in any way. even if it isn’t his fault he still feels like he needs to spoil you to make it better? so, he gets you something. in a box, a big box. yk nothing bad, just something he prolly shouldn’t have bought…

“heeey, pretty… so i know you’re having a really bad day ‘n shit but how would you feel if i brought you a cat?” mammon asked, stiffly pushing open his bedroom door with his shoulder, a light looking box in his arms. you eye him, hard. “what’s in the box, mammon.” the mewls of protest from within spoke for itself. when you bursted into his room clearly pissed off, mammon was already on his way out, kissing you and promising he’d be right back he just needed to grab some stuff. by stuff you didn’t think he’d be at the pet store buying a kitten, especially this breed. maine cats are expensive, he even went out of his way to buy toys and the necessities. you thought you would have been mad about it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be as the little baby ran around trying to catch a feather you swung around. the kitten finds rest in mammon’s mess of hair, likes to be carried around in hoodie pockets, and makes biscuits with it’s beans on your back. you couldn’t be mad at all, both the small fur ball and your boyfriend cleared all the stress you had. mammon lied down beside you in the floor, watching you jerk around the stick for the kitten to tail, he rests his head your shoulder. “you feelin’ better?” you nod with a natural smile and he kisses your shoulder. “good.” you say nothing, instead you pull him close and cuddle together on the floor, the kitten pawing mammon’s head before curling up for a nap. you smile, holding out your pinky. “don’t tell satan?” mammon takes your finger, pressing your thumb with his. “‘course not.”

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LEVIATHAN

♫ honey - red hearse

╰ levi was already dressed for a midnight walk when you came in, he figured you needed one too just to clear your mind. helps you put on your shoes and jacket while you rant about how horrible your day was, kisses your cheek while you two leave the house.

your boyfriend treats this like any other day, not in an ignoring way, no. he figures he’d rather listen to your rant then try to see the other person’s (asshole) side. in plus, if you get it all out of your system, you won’t be so pent up. he buys you your regular drink and holds it for you while you express your anger with your hands, bringing the straw to your mouth when you need a pause. “—and it wasn’t even my shift!” you huff, sipping your drink when levi brings it to you. “thank you, i love you. anyways, this bitch—“ you could go on and on for hours and he wouldn’t get tired of hearing your voice. eventually he’d tug you into one of those 24 hour cafes and request an outdoor seating area, preferably where there isn’t people. when your rant seemingly comes to a close, your forehead meets with levi’s shoulder with a heavy sigh. he kisses your crown, “d’you want anything off the menu? they still serve breakfast if you want any.” he smiles when you nod. “thank you for listening, i know that was a lot. ‘just been stressed.” his hand slips into yours, kissing the back of it. “i’m here for you whenever.” and he means it. you know that levi would give you literally anything in the world, he’d do anything for you and the little things only add to how precious he is.

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SATAN

♫ structure - odd sweetheart

╰ satan is a ticking time bomb when he’s mad, he may look okay but one minor inconvenience will send him over the edge. the plus side is that he knows most of the methods that could calm anyone down. those methods are watching really bad shows and their cringy acting.

the click of the spacebar signaled that you paused the show for the ninth time tonight, the silence loud between you and satan as you both stared at the blinding screen. his expression mirrored yours; slightly gaped mouth, squinted eyes, and meeting a glance before they returned to the frozen show. “she didn’t just kiss her husband to be’s brother after having a one night stand with their father…” he said quietly in disbelief. “on her wedding day.” you mumbled, forking around your takeout noodles in its cup. satan opened his mouth and you fed him some, treating yourself quickly afterwards. “y’all would watch anything at this point, kill your producer!” you and satan have been bingeing this horrible romance show for so long you completely forgot what time you even started watching it. its so ridiculous, not worse than idol, but still horrible. satan, on the other hand, was just glad you were enjoying yourself after a soiled day. you catch his eye and grin slightly, “what?” he shrugs with his mouth, turning back to the show. “nothing.” “mm, you want something, what is it?” you prodded again, leaning forward and giving him an inquisitive stare. you were sure you weren’t getting an answer by the way he was twirling his fork, so you leaned into him, brushing his hair away to press a kiss to his jaw, that caught his attention. “thank you, satan. for cheering me up.” you whispered to him sweetly. his lips curled up at the edges. “anything for you, love.” your eyes dart back to the screen after what you thought you saw actually happened. “she’s making out with their dad now?! go back, go back!!”

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ASMODEUS

♫ bad behavior - austin mills & remi wolf

╰ he knew that as soon as you walked into his room silent something was wrong. he just got out of the shower and you hugged him. you hugged him tighter than you usually do, and he noticed. he’s never seen you so deflated, tears filling your lash line. fortunately, asmo knows the perfect way to calm you down.

“okay baby, do you want hot pink or pink?” your eyes flick between the two headbands from your spot on the bathroom counter. you know they’re basically the same color, but it doesn't stop you from trying to guess which one is cuter. “hot pink.” you say finally, nodding in the direction of the headband in asmo’s right hand. “correct answer, you weren’t allowed to choose anything else.” asmo slips on your fuzzy headband and you snort as he carefully adjusted it on your head. “why’d you ask then?” you tease. asmo shrugs, leaning in closer to press a quick kiss under your eye. “so we can match!” after your emotional feeling day, your boyfriend suggested you join him in his skincare to take your mind off of everything for a bit. you agreed immediately, happy at the opportunity. you’ve been so stressed lately, working part time at a small coffee shop near campus while attending classes full time, and not having time to spend quality time with your boyfriend made you feel like you had let him down. you were grateful he was offering to help you out though. asmo’s finger hooked under your chin, using a silicone spatula to smear on a cool peel off mask onto your other cheek. you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist and he grins, pecking your lips before getting back to work on your mask. little whisps of champagne hair escaped from his headband, his tongue sticking from the side of his mouth while the mask between his brows crinkled in concentration. asmo always did this whenever he focused particularly hard, so you didn’t interrupt him even if he did start to ramble about something or another. you couldn’t get enough of watching him make himself so at peace with his surroundings. your lips meet his palm gently, and he quickly got the paragraph hidden behind such a small act. “you’re welcome, baby.”

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BEELZEBUB

♫ grey luh - berhana

╰ beel knows that even himself needs a bit of time alone before he’s ready for any interaction so he let’s you have you’re time. while he waits, beel prepares a bath of pure relaxation. scented candles, various different bath bombs, and even one of those bath tables.

you groan exasperatedly as beel lifts you from the warm embrace of your duvets, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. you can go back to bed in a minute…” he assures you, his voice soft and droopy. you’re about to protest but he shushes you by kissing you softly on the lips. “i know you need this.” with that you stop your whining and hum quietly, accepting a loving defeat. you were already starting to nod off against beel’s chest til your nose caught whiff of vanilla and the cold tiles of the bathroom under your feet as he set you down. the bath was filled with crystal clear water, a blue tint shimmering over the liquid due to the relaxing lighting. there were candles and various oils and body washes littering the shelves of the bathtub with a scent that was both sweet and refreshing at the same time. it was almost overwhelming in its complexity but it was also perfect because beel always made sure everything had an effect that would make you happy, calm, relax. “your week has been stressful so i wanted to make you something even it it isn’t a lot.” you smile brightly up at him, eyes shining with love for him despite still having bags underneath them, which he brushes away with another tender kiss. you already began to strip, your bones were aching for warm bubbling water on your skin. “just relax, okay? i’ll take care of you and we can go back to bed after dinner.” you pause just as you dip your leg into the water, “you’re not joining me?” beel blinks at you owlishly, mouth opening and closing a few times as if trying to find words, “you wanted me to join?” you blink back at him, confused until he finally says something intelligible again, “yes? why wouldn’t i want you to join me?” he smiles at you, a small and gentle curve of his lips that you couldn’t help smiling back at him. he wastes no time settling down behind you, your body immediately melting into his, the heat radiating out of him and warming you up like never before. “better?” he questions, hand rubbing your back soothingly, his other arm wrapped snugly around your waist. your head rested on his shoulder, arms loosely wrapping around his own torso. “absolutely. thank you.”

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BELPHEGOR

♫ valentina - dreamer isioma

╰ usually naps off his anger or sadness, basically letting it build up silently, naps do help him but he knows that naps won’t erase anybody’s pain in, like, two hours. belphie makes you a little care package; essential oils, sugar scrub, candles, sweets, blanket, plushies, melatonin gummies for the sleepless nights, headphones, etc… it was a rare sight seeing belphie out of bed and productive, instead your roles being swapped.

the attic’s stairs creaked as belphie ascended to where you were curled up on his bed. he approaches slowly, stretching his neck out a bit to check if you were sleeping. fortunately, you were not. “hey, babe? i got you something…” belphie muttered. you turned your head slightly, the glow from your d.d.d illuminating your face. belphie sat down next to you, laying out what was clearly a care package on a bedside table. the colors were subtle, a nice slightly desaturated blue with white accents for bows on the bag, few constellations littered the design. “you didn’t need to waste your money on me, belph.” you sigh, holding his face in your hand, belphie leans into your touch. “it wasn’t a waste. you’ve worked so hard.” he smiles as he kisses your palm. “plus, nothing’s a waste if its for you.” there was some static in the room, it made the atmosphere even more intimate. belphie rests his head against yours, taking a deep breath in. you smelled nice, and belphie felt immensely calm. “do you want anything else, hun? i could cook dinner…” belphie trails off, rubbing circles onto your arm. he feels you shake your head, “you’re more than enough. i’ll open the gift in a second, promise, just need you.” belphie kisses the top of your head, resting his cheek on top of it. there was static again, the feeling only growing more prominent as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “i love you.” you turn slightly to face belphie, placing your lips against his, they were soft, sweet, and tasted like honey and vanilla. you felt the tension plaguing your body ebb away, you relaxed into your lover. belphie pulls back, pressing another chaste kiss on your forehead, “i love you the most.”

[d3m0nicdream]

HOMESICK:

Sam and Colby x Reader

Tags: Fluff. Just you missing the homies.

When you told people you missed your friends, that was an understatement. You didn’t just miss them, you CRAVED them. You curse at yourself for getting talked into moving by your parents. You should have just stayed in California with Sam and Colby instead of moving to the east coast. The only reason you did it was because of your parents divorce and your mom wanting a fresh new start but she didn’t want to do it alone. You just couldn’t tell her no.

Nothing was the same. The people were different. The air was different. The WEATHER was different. You hated it. You lay in your bed thinking about your friends and what they were doing without you. You think about how many investigations they are going on without you or if they even thought about you anymore. Its been a month and they have yet to call you since you left. You even stalk their youtube channel to watch all the fun they are having.

Eventually you can’t take it anymore. You needed to hear at least SOMEONES voice. You go into your contacts and call Sam. It rings a few times before he answers groggy from sleep.

“Y/N?” He sounds confused at first but when you don’t say anything, he speaks again.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Tears roll down your eyes and you try not to slip up that your crying but the facade breaks the minute you speak.

“I miss you guys.” You stifle a cry as you wait for Sam to reply.

“We miss you too. So much. It hasn’t been the same without you.” He sighs and his end goes silent.

“I’m sorry I woke you up, I’ve just been thinking a lot and well, you can see how thats going.” You let out a small laugh. Sam’s end is still quiet before you hear gentle snores on the line. He fell asleep.

“Goodnight Sammy.” Tears well up into your eyes again after hanging up the phone. He couldn’t even hold a conversation with you and you start to spiral.

Call Colby

You go back into your contact list and press Colby’s name. It rings twice before his warm voice rings your ears.

“Y/N! Hey.” He seemed alot more chipper than Sam did on the phone and you can practically hear the smile on his face.

“How are you?” He asks. Your emotional state is broken. You miss him. You miss Sam. You miss home. When you don’t answer right away, he speaks again.

“Y/N?”

“I’m…. I’m okay.” You lie and he sees through you right away.

“No, you’re not. Why are you crying? Talk to me. What’s up.” You break. Its been so long since someone has asked you if you were okay. You sob into the phone.

“I-I miss you guys so much. I don’t even know why i moved out here. Theres nothing to do, Nobody I know, the weather sucks, the air is different and I just want to come home. I want to be with you and Sam. I want to go investigating and have movie nights and just be… there like before.” You were lost. You wanted him to know how much you missed him.

“I should have never moved here. I… I’m going crazy Colby.”

“Hey, its okay. We miss you so much too. It’s been so different here without you. Its been lonely to say the least but… we miss you. I miss you.” Colby goes from being happy and smiley to a slightly more serious tone.

“I-I tried calling Sam and he fell asleep on me.” You sniffle.

“He’s been sick all week. He’s probably high on cold medicine. He definitely misses you… wouldn’t stop talking about you after you left.” you bring your knees into your chest and the two of you sit in silence.

“Why didn’t you guys call? Or text? Something?” You didn’t know if you wanted to hear the answer to these questions but classic Colby turns them back on you.

“The same reason you didn’t call or text us. We have all been busy trying to do our own thing. I’m sure you have been busy adjusting to your new life and we have been trying to adjust with you gone.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore, Colbs” You almost whisper the words. If Colby was paying enough attention, he could barely hear it but after a minute or two, his voice rings into your ears.

“Then come home.”

[intotheelliwoods]

@kinky-asexual I love myself having certain colors represent certain themes/events/occasions :) TYSM by the way!!

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I bring you this doodle! @greentrickster

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Dont know why I drew this but here you go. @wraenata Have an emotional support peepaw.

Anyways, Marcus Moncrief was on Saturday Night Live, live!! Donnie was rambling to Leo about the concept of freezing time by reaching absolute 0 in Kelvin :)

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Oh I have been waiting for someone to ask me something like this, you have no idea. Putting this ESSAY under a cut oops I wrote a ton (if the cut even works, sometimes they dont)

I am very aware of the norm of the usual take of Future Leo AU's, it was all those AU's and fics that mad inspired me after all! They are all so good and play on a very interesting concept! Issue is, it ended up being the only take I ended up seeing. With the whole future and present self having some form of resentment towards eachother even if it was just a little bit, or for only a short period of time. I honestly needed a fresh breath of air and it came to my attention as time went on that other readers also needed a breath of fresh air. So uh, I very much saw the opportunity here and took it, with the added bonus of it being in comic form since theres so many fics out there.

Yes my comic is absolutely the opposite of the norm and I plan on keeping it like that, I made it the opposite of the norm for a reason, and the reason definitely shows through the sheer numbers and attention I have been getting on this thing! I am so happy so many people are enjoying the series! I am so glad to heal everyones wounds from the anguish of the usual plotlines haha!

Sidenote, I would actually highly recommend this post by pinetreevillain, read the tags, words things better than I ever could. Not just the OP's tags, all the reblog tags too.

(There may have been fics were the Leos were actually nice to eachother, but either I did not hear of them/see them, or they were just overall not popular enough to be well known and recognized for the good relationship)

I understand that such a fast change in character meanwhile does not happen overnight. This here is probably the biggest issue I have within the series, though I do have a little bit of reasoning.

I am just going to be flat out honest, I personally find it hard for myself to sit and read through something about characters arguing, it makes me weirdly uneasy. Something something about characters who love eachother yelling it out just hits me in a way I try to avoid whoops. So if I find it hard to read something like that, it is even harder for me to write and draw it out myself, there will be no forms of these sorts situations in the series because of that. Though this does tie back into me trying to avoid the norm, having everyone be kind to Leo after the movie is a take you do not see often.

I actually attempted addressing the movie aftermath with Raph and Leo with this comic, it was the whole point on why I made the comic! Because yes! I These two really did need some new take, my own take, on the aftermath. I wanted to show in that comic that Raph is not mad, happy actually, that Leo managed to pull himself together for such an act. Leo proved on that day that he knew what he was doing, how to care for a team, and that he was truly meant for his role as the leader.

Final little point: Lets be honest I dont think anyone will have the guts to even be mad at Leo after he sacrificed himself and his arm to save everyone. How could anyone be mad at that? Outside the fear of loosing him of course

[biggestsimponhere]

FANFIC WRITERS APPRECIATION POST 🥳🥳🥳

It’s me again 😇, i said i was doing one every month and i meant it. (Hopefully this will spark some of you to make a post like this too). Same as before this will have what i read from them but many of them do make other amazingly good content so be sure to check that out. Also some writers may also be on the other posts (Theres five of them!!!!) (probably everyone from that post will be here again)

Hi! It’s me again, i’ve done this for about five months now i think (can’t really remember) Basically i’m here to remind you how much you writing means to all of us. Writing is fun to do and it should always be something you do because you love it, and we love it too!! I read very often it’s probably what i do all day most days. I truly truly do appreciate all you guys do for us readers! You don’t have to write but you do and it means a lot. It’s really wonderful that you all work to expand on what we were all originally given. You all do such good work at making us feel through your fics. I’ve laughed and cried and felt like i’ve lived through hundreds of lives through your work. You are all super amazing ♥️♥️♥️

Most of us write for fun because it’s honestly amazing to put out fanfics for us and you all and it means so much when you show your support by commenting or re-blogging or doing both just so we all know you like our work!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCH KEEP DOING YOU!!! THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US OUR FANFICS!!! (Did i sneak myself in this post… yes, yes i did because i write for almost all of these characters if not all of them soon, plus it’s only one person cause i cant find people who write for that character) (I do try to expand every characters writers with each post but sometimes i just don’t find anymore 😕)

PSA - If you would like me not to include you in these anymore please let me know cause i would understand if you don’t like being tagged in a post every month

Steve harrington x reader - @justmeinadaze @forever-rogue @upsidedownwithsteve @erin-bo-berin @forevermoreharrington @hendersister

Steddie x reader - @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @justmeinadaze

Robin buckley x reader - @ashwhowrites @robinsno1lesbian

Nancy wheeler x reader - @robinsno1lesbian @ronancelver

Jonathan byers x reader - @biggestsimponhere

Eddie munson x reader - @collectivecloseness

Steve murphy x reader - @holbrook-boyd @ionlyjoinedforboydholbrook @wardenparker

Javier peña x reader - @ithebookhoarder @wardenparker @lokischocolatefountain

Joel miller x reader - @bubbles-for-all-of-us @avenging-fandoms @finnsbubblegum @knivesareout @thyme-in-a-bubble @soulofapatrick

Tommy miller x reader - @soulofapatrick

Din Djarin x reader - @jb2856 @sunflowersteves @pagesfromthevoid @saradika @make-me-imagine

Cassian andor x reader - @ghostofskywalker @dameronscopilot @hoeforevery1 @djarindroid

Poe dameron x reader - @dailyreverie @eyelessfaces @chloe-skywalker

Obi-wan kenobi x reader - @hoeforevery1 @make-me-imagine @buckyarchives @where-fantasy-meets-reality

Anakin skywalker x reader - @anakinskywalkerog @starlazergazer @antxlss

Conrad fisher x reader - @conniesanchor @abtconrad

[kingcunny]

got tagged by @atopvisenyashill to talk about asoiaf crackships. gonna talk about the young wolf and his mad dog!! >:3c

(yall know i tried to look robb/sandor on ao3, ff.net, and just a general google search and found nothing? please tell me i did not invent this ship?)

sandor has a Fixation on robb. nobody else in westeros will accept him. hes a monster. they all know it. he cant go back home. he cant go back to the lannisters. the newly seceded north with their new boy-king seems like the only option he has. but after everything hes done, he cant just show up. he needs a peace offering.

so sandor finds and kidnaps this boykings missing sister so *he* can return her safe and sound. so he can prove the assumptions wrong about him, that hes not just a monster. that he can be trustworthy, respectable. that robb needs him, he Has too. hes the only option sandor has.

robb, as king in the north, has power and authority. he has the power to give sandor a fresh start, a new home. to forgive his sins. to give him a new purpose. maybe to even respect him as more than a near rabid dog.

and robb, who has gone through so many betrayals recently, having someone that he KNOWS he can trust… and i know. youre squinting at me saying robb could trust sandor but LISTEN. robb has been working off the assumption pretty much since ned died that arya is also dead. then sandor comes in and drops arya at his feet, more-or-less safe and sound. he brought her back from the dead, gave his mother one of her daughters back. then sandors offering to commit the worst sin possible, For Robb, to deal a massive blow to the lannisters, not to win himself any victory or glory, but just to prove that robb could trust him.

robb knows that sandor doesnt have anywhere else to go. he wouldnt be here if he did. he knows hes sandors last hope. if robb rejects him he might as well pack it up and jump on a boat to join a sellsword company. hes done. robb holds sandors future in his hands. theres a certain security there, along with sandors desperate attempts to prove himself, that he wont be betrayed again. that maybe robb Can trust sandor.

and i also just think robb does Want to see the best in people, to believe in them. so he does give sandor a chance

im tagging…….. @maegorsbignaturals @knightsickness @ludcake @daenerysoftarth ………. and the girl reading this <3

[creekfiend]

Re: my tags on the plurality post I just reblogged. I realize this may not be well known information so. Here is the You're Wrong About ep about "multiple personality disorder"

There is a very good transcript available on that page if you are not able to listen to the podcast.

The tl;dr is that the entire phenomenon of "MPD" as we conceptualize it popularly is extraordinarily closely linked to both the phenomena of "repressed childhood abuse memories" and, necessarily, the satanic panic. There is this idea of like, certain types of abuse which somehow cause the "self" to "shatter" in some objective way that can itself be used as concrete evidence OF that abuse... and that's pretty much from 1 book in the 70s that became a huge cultural phenomenon. There's a citation in the podcast transcript here for a book which picks that apart called Sybil Exposed by Debbie Nathan where you can learn more about that specific case. It's also worth mentioning that the "MPD as a result of childhood abuse/repressed memories of childhood abuse" thing actually became a significant issue in legal matters where psychologists were coercing people into inventing repressed abuse memories in order to provide "evidence" to incarcerate people. It was a whole thing.

Here is an excerpt from the transcript that I like:

Sarah: Yeah. And immediately, it becomes just a cultural phenomenon. The author gets bushels of letters, almost all of them from American women and girls. And a lot of them write about feeling like they don't have multiple personality disorder, but they feel like they have all these different selves and different people they are at different times. And it's like, yeah, because being a woman in 1973 means that you in a very obvious way, sociologically are being torn between all of these positions in society. It's like, you want to be a good daughter, but you want to have sex and you want to maybe have a job or stay home and iron a little, I don't know.  Mike: And probably a lot of unaddressed traumas too. I mean, probably a lot of the people had seen terrible things and we're still dealing with the trauma of it. And this gave them somewhat of a voice to their trauma or a lens through which to view their trauma that, you know, something happened to you that day and I'm still dealing with it because it's not like in 1973, society was great at being like, let's listen to people who say that they have trauma.

So like, none of this is to say that DID "isn't real" or that any way of framing having a lot of conflicting parts of oneself or different internal selves or whatever is bad or not useful. It is self evidently very useful for many people.

However. Our cultural understanding of what it means to have "other personalities" specifically AS A RESULT OF TRAUMA, as like, this objective THING that takes place inside your brain when something is DONE to you... is like a VERY culturally specific concept.

And obviously DID/plural/system stuff is often quite distinct from "MPD" style framing of multiple selves. Specifically the psychologist obsession with MPD often revolves around the "solving" or integration of selves, whereas plural/system people I know tend to decry that. Theres many other differences also. HOWEVER I think that learning about the history of how this has been framed and who invented a lot of the commonly accepted "facts" about it is like... really important. In terms of being able to control your own experience of conceptualizing your internal state. Regardless of what framing and models you find to be useful or true. Like... as people whose brains are constantly being pathologized and moralized we should ABSOLUTELY know about & be concerned about patterns of psychological abuse which may play into concepts we have of how our brains work. You know?

And because people are not good at taking posts like this in good faith: I know that people describing having multiple selves has been a thing in many places over many time periods, I think the experience of having more than one 'self' is real (I mean what is a self anyway, per my last reblog, right) and I have friends who are plural/systems/etc. I myself absolutely feel that I have many facets to my "self" which I do often find it helpful to conceptualize as discrete entities when I'm working through stuff. I don't personally find the framing of plurality or systemhood useful *for my self* but you know if you read this blog that means nothing in terms of whether I think it's useful or real for other people.

I just.

As a psych abuse survivor I really want us to be intentional and precise about these things and make sure we have all the information we need to make sure we aren't reinforcing some really narsty shit that's been used to hurt a lot of people.

And also to be like, whose word am I taking for this? What rules do I think this phenomenon follows and why do I think that has to be true? Like it is one thing to put words to an experience or a framework, right, and it is another to go "well the system blog I read says that one self has to be fronting at a given time so now I have to figure out which of my selves is doing that" or whatever like... with ALL frameworks for internal experiences ("diagnoses" lol) I think it's important to be like, am I taxonomizing this by describing how it is for me, or am I trying to sort my experiences into these boxes as described by someone else? And like, the latter is not good for people in general I don't think. And of course in any group or community you will get people who are prescriptive about who belongs in what categories and how your experience has to look in order to belong there or use whatever terminology. And that's not true. You can use whatever frameworks you want and if they don't fit later you can modify or discard them!

Wow I hope this is coherent. Anyway going to go ahead and make this puppy unrebloggable because lmao but I am happy to talk about it with people so please feel free to leave replies or asks as long as no one is yelling at me and accusing me of like, denying experiences. Because I am extremely not doing that. Ty

[mintys-musings]

ACTUALLY IT'S PREVIOUS ANON WAIT. What do you think their first time was like

waaaaaaaaugh ;u; it makes me so happy knowing people like my himeniki stuff ~ I’m very normal about them.

In fact— I’m so normal that when I was writing my response, I realized I was getting too specific for it to be a ramble, but anything less didn’t feel right. So... I ended up just writing a really long one shot... ^^;;; (sowwy nsfw week also hit me so uhh this got pushed aside a lil) Just to be clear— I do think in terms of Niki ships, if HiMERU is involved, he would be Niki’s first. Yes this includes HiMERinNiki. If he isn’t involved and it’s a monogamous ship, it’s whoever Niki is shipped with.

I’m very sorry. I had too many thoughts for it to be contained to a casual ramble. nonnie feel free to ask me for anything else I prommy i will properly respond and it wont take 200 years.

Anyway :)

Hold Me Tight, Love (or that time HiMERU did what "HiMERU" actually wanted for once)

Summary: HiMERU just wanted some fresh air. Niki wanted to keep him company

Tags: inexperienced!Niki, blowjobs, there is penetration, talk of HiMERU’s eating habits (just to be safe- also its not in depth), barely lightly proofread but mostly pure instinct on my end, hand holding

Word Count: 4000 (if you just wanna read the smut part skip to where theres a ~~~)

NSFW under cut~

Whenever his unit finished a performance in the Bee Hive, HiMERU couldn’t help but think that the club lived up to its name as he watched the swaths of people that packed the venue.

Having a regular venue to perform at brought comfort to all of the Bees— Whether any of them wanted to admit it or not. Plus, all that rapport they’ve built up so far has granted the idols some special privileges other places could not. One of those being a little room to themselves on the second floor overlooking the first. No one could see in through the glass from the bottom, but they could see out. A perfect hideaway.

Another?

“Kyahaha! Job well done, Bees! Let’s eat!”

Rinne’s loud proclamation was accompanied by him flicking a shot glass of soju into a mug of beer.

Food and drinks (non-alcoholic and alcoholic alike) covered the table in front of the idols. Yes. The unit was not only well compensated for their performances, but also well fed.

Once the green light was put up, mostly everyone dug in. Niki was already chewing on the club’s offerings of yakitori and fried gyoza like he hadn’t snuck granola bars on stage to eat between sets. Kohaku was trying to get his plate away from Rinne, who stacked spicy chicken wings on it so he “doesn’t get them mixed up with the normal ones.”

The only one not as ravenous or lively was, of course, HiMERU. The blue-haired man just sat there, sipping on a can of cola. He had already had his fair share of food this afternoon when Niki had invited him to try out some new dishes he had come up with. Despite HiMERU’s plans to only sample one small sliver of food, he had ended up eating a full course meal without realizing. Quite the problem for someone like HiMERU who tended to follow a meal plan. As a way to balance his sudden deviation, he held back on dinner for tonight.

It can’t be helped, I suppose. Shiina’s cooking is hard to pass up.

His golden eyes shifted to the chef in question. Niki was downing an unreasonable amount of gyoza, at the moment, eyes glued to the oldest and youngest member of the unit bickering away over whether peppercorns were spicy. For once, Niki wasn’t the one going toe to toe with Rinne about a food related matter. It was almost comical, really.

As everyone was distracted, HiMERU took this opportunity to get some much needed fresh air. The sounds of music were clear in that small hideaway for only a brief moment as he snuck out of the door. It didn’t benefit HiMERU to stick around the entire time, no. But he would only be a few minutes. He had been around the others all day and in this building for a non-insignificant amount of time just preparing for the live. He needed air. He needed some peace.

The crisp, night air hit his face as soon as he opened the side door to the Bee Hive. He closed the heavy door behind him and leaned against the railing of the few steps that bled into the back alley. It was nice to get some alone time. Something as precious as that was hard to come by for HiMERU— Especially at and around ES where he was bound to run into someone who knew “HiMERU” and would need to act accordingly. He took a few deep breaths and stared at weathered brick wall in front of him.

A few minutes. And he would go back to the others.

Click.

“There you are~!”

HiMERU whipped around as soon as he heard the door open, only to be met with sharp, blue eyes staring back at him.

Niki closed the door behind him as he stepped onto the tiny landing. In his hand was the very plate he was eating from earlier, now with only a few sticks of yakitori.

“You weren’t eating with the rest of us... Was it Rinne-kun? I understand how atmosphere might affect appetite.” Niki stood next to HiMERU, offering up the plate. “... It’s grilled. I’m sure you know that. But the glaze itself is pretty light so it won’t sit in your stomach uncomfortably when you sleep.”

Whenever someone stared at HiMERU so expectantly, it was hard for him to really push them away. And in the time he has gotten to know Niki, HiMERU has become rather weak for the chef in particular.

With a soft smile and a sigh, he took one of the skewers from the plate. “Thank you, Shiina,” he said, “HiMERU just needed some fresh air.”

“Ah~ What a relief. I was worried, y’know? We just finished a live so our body needs some energy. Even if it’s kinda late. You still use up calories in your sleep, after all~”

Niki smiled up at HiMERU. To HiMERU’s surprise, Niki didn’t look like he was just going to hand over the plate and leave.

HiMERU tilted his head at the chef. “HiMERU is aware of that. You should head inside, though. It’s cold out.”

“Eh? But I came here to share food with you.” It was as simple as that to Niki. He leaned up against the railing as well, balancing the plate precariously on the metal pole.

So much for HiMERU’s alone time. But it was fine. Niki made for good company.

Swept up in light chatter, the unit mates ate the remaining sticks of grilled chicken. Well— Niki ate most of it. HiMERU still got at least two down before Niki’s own instincts took over. HiMERU watched Niki go on about a new brine he wanted to test on some leftover meat in the cafeteria, his eyes wandering across his face with a mild curiosity. He studies his features as he spoke, drifting to Niki’s more cat-like eyes and down to his lips that were stained from the glaze. He even had a stray bit of meat left on the corner of his lips.

Most of the culinary jargon went over HiMERU’s head, if he was honest, but it was endearing to see Niki so passionate.

Everything about the chef, really, was endearing to HiMERU. Though in the beginning, he found Niki’s lack of care towards his own duties as an idol rather troublesome, by now HiMERU had gained a new perspective on it. He even respected how he managed to juggle being both a chef and an idol even when one was forced upon him by the man they call a leader. It was an interesting feat. HiMERU wondered if Niki would agree.

And it wasn’t like Niki was bad at being an idol. If anything, HiMERU would call him a near natural if it wasn’t for Niki’s lack of an internal counter when dancing. Niki had practically everything else though. The vocals, the sheer charisma— God, the charisma— Niki’s charm took HiMERU by surprise every time they hopped on stage togeth—

“HiMERU-kun?”

“Hm?” He blinked slowly, like a cat might. “Yes?”

“You’re staring.”

The softness of Niki’s voice pulled HiMERU to the present. He stood up a bit straighter and cleared his throat. He hadn’t realized he had let his guard down so much he started zoning out.

“Aha...~ Sorry. I must’ve been talking too much—“

“No. Not at all.” HiMERU was quick to shut down any self-deprecating comment Niki was about to make. “... You have something on your face.”

Without waiting for a reply, HiMERU reached over and tilted Niki’s chin upward with his pointer finger, brushing away a stray crumb of food at the corner of his unit mate’s mouth with his thumb. He watched as Niki’s eyes went wide with the gesture, lips parting slightly to let out a single noise.

“Ah.”

Neither dared to move.

There was a mental game of chicken being played where neither party wanted to move. A spell had been cast. The world was still.

It would never be clear on HiMERU’s face that he was thinking of anything in particular. He had always held himself to the standard of needing to act in accordance to what HiMERU would do. Not himself. But in this moment, he was conflicted. His true desires would be counter to anything that would further HiMERU’s career and counter to any other option that would be “safe.”

In a lone alleyway, under the cover of shadows, with the moon and stars as witness, desire triumphed safety.

Niki’s lips were soft.

That was all HiMERU could register as his hand moved from Niki’s chin to cup his jaw. And for a moment, he feared that the chef did not reciprocate. Alarm bells were ringing in his head— I have made a mistake. And, out of panic, he pulled away just as he felt equal pressure on his lips.

“HiMERU apologi—“

His words were stifled quick. He was backed up against the railing by the force of Niki leaning in for another kiss. Their teeth nearly clashed as HiMERU got his bearings and actually kissed back.

Inhibitions and doubts pushed to the side, HiMERU turned the tables so now Niki was pressed against the brick wall of the building. Their lips moved in sync with one another. Their hands were all over each other. Their bodies melded together like this was the way it was always meant to be. All the time spent dancing around each other’s feelings, kind conversations in the cafe, brushing hands, longing looks— All of it just heated the idols’ want for one another.

The way Niki’s breath hitched and the little whimper that escaped him as they grew more passionate only served to make blood rush down to HiMERU’s groin. He could feel Niki rut against his thigh slightly, almost rhythmically to the tempo of the muffled song playing inside the Bee Hive.

The Bee Hive...

Right.

Before either of them could get carried away, they pulled apart for air. Both of them were left panting, staring into each other’s eyes with a carnal desire.

“HiMERU thinks we should go somewhere more private.”

His words come out much more desperately than he’d desire.

“Yeah... Yeah...” Niki seemed to be in a daze himself, still unconsciously moving his hips against HiMERU’s body.

After a quick text to the remaining two bees saying that HiMERU felt tired and that Niki decided to escort him back to the dorms, the two set off on a quick hunt for the nearest love hotel.

~~~

The two were back at it in no time.

Clothes were flying off of the both of them— A comical Kisses trailed along each bit of exposed skin. Every beauty mark. Everything. They couldn’t help themselves. Eventually, HiMERU was leaned back against the headboard with Niki in front of him on his knees. Both of them only had their boxers left as a barrier.

HiMERU was once again taken by Niki’s boyish charm, admiring every stray freckle and mole that was once hidden by clothing. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at how wide-eyed and flustered Niki was. Though the chef’s hands were resting at the elastic of HiMERU’s boxers, Niki seemed to be hesitating. Or at least in deep thought.

Cupping his cheek, HiMERU made Niki look at him.

“Are you okay?” HiMERU asked.

Niki nodded, his usual smile returning accompanied by a flush of pink to his cheeks. “I’m okay. Just... Nervous. I’ve never... I mean I’ve wanted to— I mean...”

It was rare to see Niki so shy like this. It made him that much more adorable in HiMERU’s eyes.

A kiss. Just to calm the nerves. HiMERU pulled down his own boxers himself. Niki’s face went wildly red. And while normally HiMERU would chastise staring so blatantly... He’d make an exception this time since it made him feel good.

“That’s alright. HiMERU will guide you. Don’t worry.” He did his best to assure his friend— Lover? They didn’t really talk this through. But that would be later. Right now, he coaxed Niki out of his final layer of clothing.

Bare in front of each other, HiMERU held back from folding Niki in half and prepping him hastily with the love hotel’s lube. All this time, HiMERU had been... Suppressing his urges to say the least. It’s been long enough that HiMERU thought he would be immune to such immense horny thoughts. But now it was hitting him like a train. His dick twitched in the cold air of the room as if signaling its own needs.

Niki wasn’t fairing any better, it seemed. He looked painfully hard already, tip gleaming with precum. The man was even drooling slightly like he was looking at his next meal.

Well... Maybe that was because HiMERU was going to end up in his mouth.

Niki was so eager to try, at least. His hand gently wrapped around HiMERU’s base as if to gauge how he’d fit his girth in. Sparkling blue eyes bore into HiMERU with an unspoken request. HiMERU should’ve expected this out of Niki, but he didn’t think the virgin would take initiative like this.

“You...” HiMERU took a deep breath before nodding. “Fine. Just be mindful of your teeth. HiMERU will tell you what to do.”

Beaming, Niki nodded and quickly shimmied down to dick level. Niki’s oral fixation wasn’t anything new, but in this context, HiMERU felt a bead of precum form at his tip.

The moment HiMERU gave Niki a nod, there wasn’t a moment of hesitation. Niki engulfed the tip into his warm, awaiting mouth and lavished it with his tongue. Even with just the tip, Niki’s mouth was rather full.

HiMERU let out a soft groan as he realized that Niki would be rather good at this. He guided Niki’s hand to stroke whatever wasn’t in his mouth, eyes glowing with appreciation as Niki followed his instruction.

“Spit on it,” he said, “And move your head in time with your hand.”

It was a little cute having to tell Niki what to do.

Niki followed, allowing his drool to roll down HiMERU’s shaft. The mix of saliva and pre made it easy for Niki’s hand to pump him at a nice pace. HiMERU’s slender fingers threaded through Niki’s locks in order to guide his head up and down as he liked.

Moans and grunts escaped both parties as each got used to the respective sensations. HiMERU was on cloud nine with how quickly Niki caught on. His mouth felt like heaven. It took all his might to not force Niki’s head down so his dick would slide down the chef’s throat. Though now that the thought was in his head, he’d have to do it if the opportunity presented itself later down the line.

No— Instead, HiMERU watched with his mouth agape as Niki gave head like a champ.

He couldn’t resist bucking his hips lightly into Niki’s inviting mouth every now and again, watching as his partner’s eyes would widen in shock each time but no less took what was given. Niki’s cheeks were puffed out in what the other could only interpret as a pout.

Niki’s eyes peered up at HiMERU’s panting, sweaty form as he opened his mouth and let his lover’s cock pat his tongue a few times. He kissed down the length, leaning to rest his cheek against HiMERU’s thigh. He looked dazed as he leisurely pumped his hand around him.

Hand moving from his long, dark grey hair to his chin, HiMERU smeared the spit along Niki’s lips with his thumb with a smile. “Everything alright, Shiina?” He asked to check in. As much as he wanted his cock stuffed back between his lips, he let Niki take his time.

His lover responded with a hum, kissing his thumb before dragging his tongue along the tip of HiMERU’s cock. Niki’s hips rutted lightly against the bed to satiate himself. “You taste... Nice.”

High praise.

HiMERU’s lips curled into a small smile. He could tell Niki was too shy to actually ask for what he wanted so he took matters into his own hands. “HiMERU hasn’t been very fair, hm? Lay down.”

Niki followed.

His palms slid under Niki’s thighs to push them up to his chest. “Hold them there for—“ HiMERU paused, looking down at his unit mate’s flustered appearance. Fingers digging into his soft skin, he spared a tender kiss to the chef’s lips. “Hold them there for HiMERU. Please.” His voice was strained as he fell into old habits.

Of course, Niki obliged. He held his legs perfectly in place as HiMERU fished the lube out from one of the hotel’s baskets to use.

In HiMERU’s mind, nothing would be quite as hot compared to how Niki looked as he prepared him. As his finger pressed against his hole gently to ease it in, Niki let out the most adorable whimper. A pure melody.

“Ngah~ HiMERU-kun~” Niki whined, blunt nails digging into the backs of his own thighs.

“Just relax, Shiina.” HiMERU muttered, fully concentrated on the task at hand. “It’ll get better in a moment...” He trails off again, pressing the pad of another finger to Niki’s tight hole. The lube felt cool on his fingers, but it was immediately contrasted by the warmth of his lover’s insides. “... HiMERU promises it’ll feel better.”

His free hand moved to attend to Niki’s stiff cock. It was leaking so much precum that HiMERU would’ve thought he came if he wasn’t looking. Either way, it just made stroking him that much easier.

HiMERU took his sweet time preparing his lover. Delving his fingers in and out, HiMERU was given quite the show of Niki writhing against the sheets, biting his lip to keep from making a fool of himself with all the noises he was making. His hole was clenching around HiMERU’s fingers like his life depended on it. Even when HiMERU knew Niki was properly prepared, he still kept going to coax more reactions out of him. The hand moving up and down Niki’s cock was agonizingly slow. He studied each reaction as he ran his fingers over the other’s tip.

Niki was nervous, that much was sure. But the way Niki’s lashes fluttered every now and then as he got more and more used to the feeling of being filled was such a beautiful sight. The blue-haired man was far too entranced by his lover drooling and whining right in the palms of his hands.

It all came to a head when Niki heaved out a breath and grabbed HiMERU’s wrist. “HiMERU-kun, please... I can’t take it. I’m ready. I promise.” A mewling cat simply putty in his hands.

HiMERU blinked a few times, all too lost in how nice Niki was sounding to remember the actual task at hand for a moment.

“Please...”

Niki’s voice was practically strained with want. And who was HiMERU to deny such a kind plea?

With some shifting around, HiMERU was pressed up against Niki’s awaiting hole.

“... You’re sure about this?” HiMERU asked. As much as he wanted nothing more than to bury himself into Niki, both his own hesitancy and his respect for his unit mate made him check once more.

Niki laced his fingers with HiMERU’s. It was such a soft gesture that HiMERU nearly melted on the spot.

“I’m sure, ‘meru,” he said. “I trust you.”

Both of them let out their own soft moans of pleasure as HiMERU pushed in. HiMERU even cursed, hunching over to press his forehead to Niki’s shoulder. “Warm...” He grunted.

He thrust inch by inch in, doing his best to keep it soft and gentle. How long had it been since he fucked someone like this? Someone he cared about, no less. HiMERU could feel a bead of sweat roll down his temple. All the time he’s spent suppressing his urges was kicking him in the ass during what is supposed to be a gentle first time for Niki.

Niki’s lips met HiMERU’s neck to soothe himself as they both rocked in sync. His grip on HiMERU’s hands tightened ever so slightly. The heat from the chef’s body radiated against his own.

The room was alight with soft moans and grunts as the two made love for the first time.

One of HiMERU’s hands let go of Niki’s, much to the chef’s whining.

“’M-Meru!”

Niki’s voice came out in a cute squeak as HiMERU timed his thrusts to each stroke of his cock. The both of them had been holding back so much this whole time. Niki himself was far too embarrassed from how ready he was to come even earlier that he’s been holding it in. His pretty blue eyes glistened with tears from how close he was.

HiMERU knew Niki was close and had been for some time. He could feel how his dick twitched in his hand. “C’mon, Shiina,” he mumbled. He allowed himself to speed up, his hips snapping to Niki’s like it was the last thing he would do. “It’s okay. Go on. Come for me.”

His words and Niki’s climax came before either of them could fully register it. Niki’s shy moans got louder and louder, dizzy and overwhelmed with pleasure. “Mnngh~! HiMERU-kun!” He gasped.

Cum splattered across his abdomen and HiMERU’s fingers, but HiMERU hadn’t stopped moving. His eyes shone with an unabashed lust as he raised his hands to lick up the essence spilled. The sight of which made Niki whine with embarrassment.

Niki’s whines turned to more moans as HiMERU continued to plow into him. Given that Niki was thrown deep into a pit of ecstasy, he had no problems now going as harsh as he wanted. His hand found Niki’s shaft once more, playing a nice game of overstimulation with the poor chef beneath him who was scrambling to hold onto him.

“Ghh—!” Niki’s cries went unheard.

HiMERU was ruthless, peppering Niki’s face with kisses as he let out all his pent up lust.

“I’m sorry, Shiina. I can’t help it when you look so sexy under me. You’re gripping my cock so tightly... You want me to keep fucking you like this into the night?” His words flowed out of his mouth freely and without shame in short gasps. “You’re so pretty. Wish I could take a picture...”

A part of him was tempted, but that would open a whole new can of possible bad decisions.

Niki didn’t have the mind to respond in anything but the lovely sounds of moans and whimpers. His back arched as he felt HiMERU twitch in his tight hole.

HiMERU pressed his lips roughly onto Niki’s as his thrusts lost their rhythm. He focused purely on driving himself as harshly as he could into his lover.

“Coming...”

With one last pump of his hips, HiMERU pushed himself flush against Niki. His balls emptied themselves of their seed, filling Niki enough to make him shudder.

Once again, the world was still as the two caught their breath. HiMERU didn’t bother pulling out just yet. Instead, he very carefully adjusted both of them to they could lay intertwined in each other’s embrace.

Niki was exhausted, but satisfied as he snuggled up to HiMERU. His eyes were drooping slightly as the high started to settle down.

“That felt nice...” He muttered. “... But now I’m hungry...”

HiMERU let out a breathless chuckle, kissing the crown of Niki’s head. “I’m— Excuse me. HiMERU is pretty sure we can order food here... Let’s rest first for a moment. HiME— I—“ He sighed. The inner conflict was back.

“... I’ll order us something in a minute. How’s that sound?”

“Mhm... Anything’s fine with me. Thank you.” Niki responded in kind, a soft smile on his face as he basked in the afterglow.

The two shared a kiss, tender and sweet.

In these moments... These are for me. Just me. I can let myself have these moments with Shiina.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

hello! im reasonably new to your account and i just saw that you have an arcana playlist (love the idea of that) and i dont know if you still take suggestions for the playlist, but in case you do, i have a few songs that remind me of characters (aka just Muriel, like literally just him) that might be of use :)

On the Mountain Tall - the Oh Hellos, not only does the name and the general vibe of the song fit him but there are a few lyrics in it like "I know you want me to be afraid, I know you want me to love you" "Up out of the grave of an angry ghost, Firing bricks from broken canon and prose, To build a wall so high it reaches the heavens in the sky" "Still you beat your drums, Raising holy war with every strum, Shouting down the quiet kingdom come, Brushing at your fingers, hoping you'll come around" that honestly just fit very very well

How to Disappear Completely - Radiohead cus its sad as fuck. "I'm not here, This isn't happening, I'm not here, I'm not here, In a little while, I'll be gone, The moment's already passed, Yeah, it's gone", if thats not a man dissociating through traumatic expiriences i dont know what is. The song keeps repeating "im not here", and seeing how Muriel chose to have a curse that makes people forget him, it is very fitting

Trapdoor - Twenty One Pilots, i have had an arcana obsession since like? 2019? when i was still a massive fan of this band, and this song always reminded me of muriel. "Take me out and finish this waste of a life, Everyone one gather around for a show, Watch as this man disappears as we know, Do me a favor and try to ignore, When you watch him fall through a blatant trapdoor, 'Cause nobody know his life (i always thought it was "he's alive")", it gives the vibes of how the people of vesuvia did Not Give A Shit About him. They just thought hed willingly murder so many people, nobody saw the literal chains he was stuck in and thought "hmm maybe hes being forced to do this"

No Suprises - Radiohead, it reminds me of how Muriel pulled away from all society after he fled from the colosseum. It reminds me of how he was so scared and so ashamed to interact with people, how he just wanted some silent and rest after all the horrible things he went though, not just in the colosseum but his entire youth. "You look so tired, unhappy. Bring down the government, They don't, they don't speak for us. I'll take a quiet life, A handshake of carbon monoxide, No alarms and no surprises, No alarms and no surprises, No alarms and no surprises, Silent, Silent", to me the song always feels like it needs to be sung while sobbing.

Sleep - My Chemical Romance, i 100% believe Muriel has so many nightmares, i mean its even shown in his route once. A symptom of ptsd is night terrors, and seeing what the guy has lived through theres no way he goes to sleep normally. I think this song catches the vibe of this pretty well.

PTSD - Joost, literally just a (dutch) song about ptsd. its a massive vibe and cus i hc that Muriel has ptsd i thought it be fitting

Me? Having massive brainrot abt Muriel? perhaps...

i hope this can be useful for your playlist!! (also if youd like i can give more of this, it is very fun to do lol)

@canofpeaches00000 woah, these are all awesome suggestions! I really appreciate how you broke down the lyrics and added context to them too, it doubled my capacity to enjoy them! ^.^

I've added them to the playlist and I'm putting them on the tag, thank you for all the recommendations friend! :D

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[yasmindifference]

I feel you on the Steph thing. I do occasionally come across Steph fics I like (theres a really good AU one where she and Tim are both trans and meet at a shelter run by Jason, the bat stuff is there but honestly kind of secondary), so I haven't blacklisted the tag, but I struggle with most of them as well. The way many authors write her, she's constantly overstepping Tim's boundaries and if that were treated as a bad thing by the narrative I'd be ok with it - but usually the people writing this don't seem to see anything wrong with it. I'll read much darker stuff than that with pleasure, of course, but generally I like it when the author *knows* that what they're writing is fucked up, and not just normal besties/couple behaviour. One good one I read has Steph overstep a boundary in an early chapter, but then get called out for it and properly apologise, and that I like! But yeah. There's a lot of weirdness around her.

(don't publish this ask if you are worried about attracting the attention of people who want to get mad at you, I totally get it! That's why I'm on anon after all lol)

For me, the really big issue was how...one-sided her dynamic with Tim was. I saw a lot of fics where Stephanie was constantly insulting Tim and usually hit him at least once (because he'd been inconsiderate/thoughtless) and talked about how lucky he was that she put up with him. And if that's a mutual dynamic, it's fine! Playful insults and casual violence are just how some people relate!

But I never saw fics where he insulted her back and I never saw fics where he hit her. She would punch him in the face and he would apologize! Then the narrative would go on about how awesome she was and how lucky he was that she tolerated his thoughtless behavior. He never so much as shoved her in return.

And I think I've talked about this before, but personally I hate being called dumb, so the fact that she was constantly calling him a moron (or mean takes on his name like "boy blunder" which I hate with the power of a thousand burning suns) as just like, a casual nickname...that would've been enough on its own tbh. Again, it would be one thing if he reciprocated by calling her names, but he never did!!!

Apparently a lot of people enjoy that as a friendship dynamic, because I saw their friendship portrayed that way in a lot of fics by a lot of different authors...but for me, it just reads as super toxic. I literally just wanted to leap through the screen and pull Tim away from her! Especially when she acted this way towards him in front of other people and they'd just be like "admit it, you had that coming." That is extremely not for me.

Like you, I don't mind reading dark stuff when there's awareness for it, but the way the narrative in those fics would lean heavy into how Tim was being a bad friend (usually because he was uncommunicative/left Stephanie to worry by keeping secrets/etc.) just made me incredibly uncomfortable. So. Here we are lmao.

(But I totally get you on the boundary violation stuff, too! There was a lot of that.)

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone, anon! ♡

[raichana]

15 Questions Meme

another super fun tag from @card-queen here

Rules: Answer the 15 questions as your OC or yourself. Tag up to 15 people.

Tagging: @teresashiho and @prilaja-artblog, anyone else who wants to try!

Teach me more about your characters! Please!

Are you named after anyone?

Raichana: My father named me after someone named in a prophecy. He wanted to prove it wouldn't come true... Darious: no comment Arianna: Apparently it's a family name but I can't find anyone in our history with that name. Ciella: no comment...

When was the last time you cried?

Raichana: What time is it? uh...a few hours ago? Darious: If I cry it would make Rai cry so I avoid doing it in front of her. Arianna: You think I have time to cry, i'd much rather spend that time making some coin. Ciella: Crying isn't the easiest for me, Still i guess in the last hundred years or so?

Do you have kids?

Rai and Darious: *looks at each other and blush*Maybe one day Arianna: No but I did accidently start and orphanage so i guess that counts? Ciella: Define child, I have created a lot of 'Children' but I am unable to have any myself.

Do you use sarcasm?

Raichana: *stares out into space head empty* whats that? Darious: No Arianna: Oh yes, all the time. Ciella: I'm unable to lie and sarcasm can tread too close to untruths so unfortunately no.

What’s the first thing you notice about others?

Raichana: How easy it is to read their mind, Once I thought someone had completely blocked my telepathy but no they just had no thoughts at all ever! Darious: Weaknesses in their defenses. you can never be too careful Arianna: rings, jewlery, shoes... anything to let me know if they are the type my guide may be interested in. Ciella: Any sign of illness or discomfort, I want to help as many people as possible.

What’s your eye colour?

Raichana: Technically brown but I store light in them so they look gold! Darious: they were apprently blue when I was younger but they are red now Arianna: the one that's still there is Green Ciella: *clutches locket* what a silly question, you can see they are amber, theres no other colour they could be... ha ha

Scary stories or happy endings?

Raichana: Happy endings! Scary things are no fun Darious: I actually think Scary stories are better, not everything can have a happy ending it makes no sense. Arianna: Scary stories, mostly so I can use them to scare Raichana Ciella: Happy endings, i've seen too many horrors over the years i'd rather things be full of joy.

Any special talents?

Raichana: *bounces* I can bend light which allows me to create illusion or even attack with concentrated light! I'm also psychic but I can't control it at all so it's not really a talent. Darious: I can bend darkness but it's only really good for hiding things when it's already dark or creating a blade. Arianna: I can travel through shadows, it's handy but if it's too dark I can't actually use it so it's pretty limiting without a lightsource.

Where were you born?

Raichana: According to Mom I was born in a town really far away but we had to move to the forest for our safety. Darious and Arianna: A hidden village called Haven, Only Demon elves can travel there. Ciella: *sweating* well... uh... when you have lived as long as I have.... you dont always know these things.... ha ha

What are your hobbies?

Raichana: This journey doesn't allow for much time for hobbies but I really like dancing! Darious: I enjoy to cook... it's partially a hobby and partially because if I let anyone else cook i'll probably die. Arianna: I collect rare plants... sure it tends to double as a good source of poison for work but it's still a hobby. Ciella: I spend most of my time working in the apothecary but in my free time I enjoy learning how to grow and brew tea blends.

Do you have any pets?

Raichana, Darious and Arianna: nope Ciella: I have tried but they all turn into feycreatures eventually so I have stopped trying.

What sports do you play/have played?

Raichana: I tried to participate in Haven's hunt once but I couldn't catch anything. Darious and Arianna: the hunt have put on every winter.... Ciella: I have tried many sports over the years but buy the time i go to play it again all the rules have been interpreted differently so I avoid sports.

How tall are you?

Raichana: 5'2"! but i'm still a growing girl! (spoilers no she isn't) Darious: 6'2" But I am part elf so I may still have a few more inches to grow (spoilers he does) Arianna: 5'6" Ciella: ha ha I'm also 5'6".... what a completely random coincidence... ha ha

Favourite subject in school?

Raichana: Lucian's school suuucked... there were only four of us there and he wouldn't teach me any of the training lessons, Darious had to train me after the sun went down! Darious: *blushing* Training rai after class was probably my favourite school subject. Arianna: School? the closest thing I had to that was training and well... I think if you like learning all about butchering and poisons it's kind of fun? Ciella: Dad taught me everything I could ever even imagine trying to learn, I can't pick a favourite it's all so important to me.

Dream job?

Raichana: Dancer! unfortunately I have another job lined but I'm going to try and make sure my sister stays in that role, she's currently doing it and is better then I could ever be! Darious: The idea of thinking about the future is hard for me, I don't think I have as dream job... Arianna: Imagine taking a job other then working for the guild.... I'm in this for life one way or another... Ciella: I'm already working my dream job at the Apothecary... I get to help people every day... It's much better then what I did in the past...

[winderlylandchime]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well and that your trip is good and fun. But holy shit, i hope you and your partner manage to stay covid free! I’m sending some healing thoughts to your SIL since covid absolutely sucks!

Also a few things i do have to say because you need to know (most of them i was told to tell you guys): we went to the doctor yesterday and he was proudly wearing his new shirt. Everyone found it hilarious and accurate portrayal of him/his year. And then he told the whole office (2 doctors and 3 nurses) that he is now famous on the internet because i told bunch of people about him watching the show. And the doctor who is in charge of his case (the guy who did the surgery lol), looked at me, pointed at him and slowly went ‘you made him other people’s problem?’ And my brother proudly said ‘Yes, she did! *realized what was said* heeeeey, i can be quite a delight, just ask the people on the no porn site’ (yes, that is how he told them about tumblr). And my brother wanted me to let you all know that his cast has to stay on for another week, so he is very sad about that BUT the big news that he immediately looked at me (in the office in front of them btw) and went ‘you gotta tell my new homies about this’ was that in two weeks he has his final check up with his surgeon bc he wants to do all tests one last time and then if all is good which they believe will be, he can officially go home and back to his whatever tf normal life is for him. So looks like I’m losing my two roommates soon. Shit will be boring ngl.

Then the other more important thing! My brother had your blog opened on his tag, but i guess he went to check out the rest of the blog because he walked in this morning and went ‘did you fucking know that they write stories?! About Brian and Blondie? WHAT IS THIS? AND THERES SO MANY FUCKING COOL GIFS TOO. LIKE SHIT TON OF THEM! I saw one where Gale was talking in that interview about Prom and Blondie from that panel and then there were gifs from the episode and behind the scenes with it! That had to take for fucking ever! Do people just make them all the time? See? when *puts out one hand* Fandom and *puts out the other hand* love, come together *puts his hands together* beautiful things come to life.’

So he is currently going through your ao3/bookmarks but i did tell him to read your other fics before the new one.. Btw he didn’t move from the couch for a few hours after he discovered it. His favorites so far are: we didn’t know we could reach the stars (he thought that one was a very accurate portrayal of what Brian and Justin would be like if the writers didnt ruin it), clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them (he really enjoyed that one btw. He especially thought the ‘not the first boy to jerk off to thoughts of Brian in this bed’ was clever as fuck and literally went ‘ooohhh shit’ when he read it)

and Youre like a tattoo (he gasped when he realized the plot and went ‘ITS REVERSED!’). And when he finally made it to your new fic he fucking lost it (he had a tiny report on it)

I did show him your replies from previous messages and here’s the message from the guy himself (read this as if youre listening to a very caffeinated person pacing up and down, for accurate pov): I was a breath of fresh air for them? Fucking hell, so this fandom is in like a hibernation, huh? I’m fucked, aren’t I? Well anyway, thank you stranger for very sweet words. I fuck with this person! I think we’d be friends. I FUCKING LOVE LITTLE EDIE! Me and (his best friends name) always quote the ‘It was quite the scandal actually. It was in all the magazines at the time’ in Jinx’s voice whenever some random shit is asked. Them and their spouse sound like they’re fucking fun to be around. Wait you gotta tell them I read the stories they wrote, i’m still reading other people’s shit, i have a lot to catch up to. But that one that isn’t done yet is fucking brilliant. I mean they all are but I read that one twice! I had to watch the reunion episode from season 3 because it made me all nostalgic when they got back together. It’s exactly how I’d like the show to be. Its nice to read and go mhm thats my bri bri, unlike in the show where it was not my bri but an imposter. I also very much fuck with older Brian who has a beard and glasses. Because he looked pretty as fuck in that little comic con video. I’m excited to see how they end it and i really really hope that they had fun writing these stories because i had a lot of fun reading them. Anyway, tell them, they’re fucking cool, their stories are fucking dope, i also really liked that one about them sharing their clothes AND THE ONE WHERE BLONDIE WAS THE SUGAR DADDY! I fucking told you that will happen..i was just wrong as to where. And im glad to see that the *lifts his cast* ally, is catching on.

PS, we both got all ‘awwww’ and a little emotional ngl, when we read your response how you’ve been thinking of us while writing. And just so you know we spent all day today discussing your fics (when he got to the cliffhanger, he went ‘i am once again being teased just like with the love confession’) and some other fics from other creators that he read and enjoyed. The man is in awe. Every time he’d read a new chapter/fic he goes ‘this is the best thing ive read’ over and over.

Hello hello hello dear sweet anon and brother anon!

Thank you for your well wishes. My SIL tested negative this morning so we are officially in the clear (and can abandon our masks). I think we did a good job being responsible within the circumstances. Luckily, my SIL’s symptoms never got bad and the cold I arrived with (was it a cold or an intense allergic reaction to cleaning my apartment and kicking up all that dust?) never evolved into anything more unpleasant.

I love that we’re not the people on the “no porn site.” And we do all think he’s delightful. I’m glad he’s recovering well and can soon live independently from you but I imagine life will be a lot quieter and less chaotic without him and feline BriBri.

Yes! Gifs allow us to relive every moment of the series, draw parallels etc. Let’s give a hand to @sophsun1 who is basically carrying the fandom on her back with her beautiful gifs.

I am absolutely floored by his reaction to my fics. Thank you so much for passing along the kind words he had. I’m glad he like the 5+1 clothes sharing fic (I have such a soft spot for it), and We Didn’t Know We Could Reach the Stars is such an overlooked fic (I forget I wrote it!). AND of course Tattoo was my beloved fic this year.

The fandom isn’t in hibernation so much as it is small and basically zero new content has been released in eons and so it is a small fandom with nowhere near the works produced that large currently or recently active fandoms have (tbh those fandoms intimidate me - I will read GO fic but joining a discord or writing fic in there? so scary!).

“It was quite the scandal really…” is the other quote I say to my spouse on hair wash / hair turban days! I like to think we *are* fun to be around. Especially if quote RPDR S5 is your idea of fun. Then we’re a blast!

I do have fun writing fics. I bitch and moan and complain, but I love writing them and getting to put them out into the world. I’m even more excited to write and post the last chapter of Fireflies now that I know your brother has read it. And I’m delighted to hear that he thinks I kept his beloved BriBri in character (if we ignore WTF happened to his character in S5).

I’m honestly a little bit emotional from your PS. I write fics because I love to write them but hearing that you’re sitting around discussing them? I love writing them but I do want an audience (otherwise I wouldn’t publish them) and there are fics out there that I feel that way about (written by other people) so for my fics to be that to someone… just, I need a moment and a tissue.

*makes fist* ally

[honeybeewhereartthee]

ITS TIME FOR DISTORTED PARTY

What's wrong? Never have you seen such an odd duo?

»»——DID YOU JUST INTERACT WITH PAST THEM?--——-　no.　——STOP LYING, I SAW WHAT YOU DID. —you saw nothin—-««

While once again in a fog like labyrinth, the other one with white and purple outfit pause for a moment before he look at his imaginary clock and gasp.

The Bee stared at behind him and rolled his eyes when he realize what's up with his companion when the other takes out a living bunny out of his space and the bunny start to shake in hunger. The pseudo hurried to feed the lil guy who happily eats the things serve.

( shh ~shhh~... Don't worry I have more food here ... )

Petting and cooing softly the fluffy creature like his own beloved child the pseudo care less if they have to stop for a moment, because he cannot let his sole living momento of that person to die from carelessness.

{ Stop feeding that bunny each time, we have a minute stop.}

The Bee sighs as he cross his arms as he look at his direction in disdain, they really should stop this mini stops for a magic bunny.

( Well 'your bitch'less attitude sure is 'kill' jo'y'. One cle'a'rly 'se'e that you 'l'ack 'f'eelings of sympathy for this precious baby bunny, letting him be left hungry!)

{ ... What if you go try and do what you just said, huh?}

( *Gasp. But I don't say anything threatening~ I'm just saying what I felt I wanna say.)

{ Kokoko, you seems to think I'm blind. I can clearly see what you wanna say. }

The two glare at one another as the little bunny Slowly finished and fall asleep. The Bee stared at the bunny in a daze moment. Seeing that hunny eyes. It remind him, of someone.

{ 'I cannot' 'd'e​c'i​'ph'e'r that o'ne' day 'I' will 't'ravel and searc'h'ing 'e'ndless, 'r'elentless and more I 'can'not believe I have to do it with 'you', from all of the people... }

(.... Why do you even cho'i'ce to tag along with me. You 'don't' have bound like I have with them... Your only being 'c'ruel to yourself by doing this with me... 'A'nd besides you'r' someone who could liv'e' as you like... Finally free of your own captivity... )

{ ... I... }

A memory flash in Bee's mind. Someone holding his hand and the person laughter's ringing in his ears. He remembers that person calling his name and telling him.

× ' it's ok... Live as you like, like you do now... I wish to not pinned you down with weight of our existence... ' ×

That same person that smiled as they let go of his hand and disappear to nothing, consume by darkness. Forgotten.

{ ...Don't know... }

He never understand why, why.... Theres so many why running through his mind but all knows he have too, and he want too.

The two have a moment of silent as the pseudo put the sleeping bunny back to his space and start walking ahead of the other.

( Whatever reason you have, It doesn't really matter to me.... But if we have to do this together whatever reason one might have. Don't just mess it up by throwing a punch like you did when you first summoned the time labyrinth.)

The pseudo clearly remember when the two of them start their journey to the unknown time, long before their time in the labyrinth. Following the fading thread. This fucking bee throw a punch when he first check on his bunny to feed after long silence in the fogged and gloomy place. The rabbit mooching on the carrot scared him.

{ ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ S-STOP bringing that up!)

The Bee felt embarrassed by bringing up such embarrassing story being frightened by a bunny after that moment, many scene of horror come in his mind after all, that silent made his mind think very loudly.

( (ㆁωㆁ) Who in their right mind scared of of their own ability like it's some horror film. )

{ For the record, I only know about the theory based from what they told me and never gasp it till... }

(... Lets go.)

The pseudo don't let him continue as the two speed up to the new destination. They went through another corner and the fog, the maze disappear when they step out. The bright sun light peaking out of the corner of the tree line.

( ... Since it be a long walk from here to there. Might as well chat. )

{ Fine. When I meet them. I thought they were weird. }

( Ahahah~ yup they are indeed weird. )

{ They threaten to k'i'l'l' me at 'o'ne point. They gi've' 'm'e a 'c'harming smile while they do that .(◍•ᴗ•◍)}

( ... )

The pseudo pause, he look alarm at the surrounding. The place suddenly don't felt like they are the only one there.

{ Heads up. }

As he said that, they soon shoot down by many projectiles. The bee pulled out golden sticky liquid, with a quick move, he molded the honey into a blade and knives. Deflecting down the in coming attack with ease.

( Watch out!)

Bee who's back is turned don't realize someone about to hit him. Pseudo quickly smack a mallet to the enemy, throwing them off far in the tree lines.

As they get one done, more come out.

{ Sigh. Why do those things keep hindering us?}

(They are the guardian of the labyrinth after all... They don't have kin liking to people who trespassing boundary of time )

Soon more bull headed shadow figures appear, aggression on their eyes and the enemies is no other than those two.

{ Kokoko. Good I needed to test out my new skill }

Bee chuckle as he wave his hand, Sakura and rose petals surrounded him.

{[ Maybe this world is... ] }

The trees In the surrounding suddenly bloom majestic cherry blossom.

{ [ Speckled by drop of solitude.. ]}

Soon the petals created a whirlwind, all the enemies burned the moment a single petals touch their skin.

{[ Each color may just blend together into one ]}

Blood, fire and beautiful petals slowly turn the surrounding crimson as he wave his hand in graceful slow motion to all the direction of the enemies.

A smile on his face, that show his just getting started.

(what a show off.)

The other chuckle as white feathers surrounded him.

([ rewrite the limit.. . ])

Suddenly the land start to crack. Bee sigh as he once again witness this person destroy another part of the labyrinth.

([ dance on, dance on the edge!])

{[ this world may just be a stippling of... Solitude and instant]}

All the mobs that try to stop from the edge to the abyss below suddenly felt burning sensation of the the roaring wind of beautiful deadly flowers that burns them.

( the door! )

Holding his companion hand, an afterimage of wings appear on his back and they made a jump to the exit to another destination.

.

.

.

Dot. dot. do. T

The connection have been disconnected.

(if want to be tagged pls comment or Send mail) Tag List : @valeriele3 @yinenovica

[sweetgaleria]

hello tumblr user sweetgaleria!!!!! I just thought maybe u could use a reminder of what an AMAZING artist you are. honestly your art makes me smile SO much. a couple months ago when u posted that drawing of adrien simply standing there and being a whole entire cutie I was like dhdjdjDHJSSK💕💕💕 IT’S HIM. THAT’S MY BLORBO. I’m dead. Because holy cow do u make him the BLORBO-IEST. like. You just have this way of drawing faces that is So pleasing. Activates intense Cuteness Aggression in me. Makes me melt into a pile of goo. It’s just, like, this level of baby that seems like it should actually be unattainable, yet somehow, you attain it. You’re the master of little baby blorbos and I am crumbling at your feet about it. i do not know how else to describe it but that when you draw blorbos they are soooo blorbo shaped. Like there’s the exact amount of Beloved packed in there that there should be. The beloved is just baked into the crust. Mixed into the sauce. MAN UR ART STYLE IS JUST!!!!! SO CUTE!!!! AND SO GOOD!!!! I know this is like ancient by now and I wasn’t even around when you posted it but the first time I saw that post-reveal Christmas comic you did with the sweaters I was just like 😭😭😭😭 ohhhhh that was so soft I melted like butter dude. It’s still one of my favorite pieces of fanart in this fandom but you have grown a lot as an artist since then and it’s amazing to see!!!! You create beautiful things that make people (me, and also others but very much me) happy and that’s such a special gift to have. Your coloring always feels soooo warm and cozy, like a big hug 🥺 and whenever you post an animation my brain goes 💥💥💥 because it’s incredible!! It is honestly so cool and sexy of you to be a whole entire animator out here and I have no doubt you are gonna kill it in that career and make so many amazing things. I know school can be Rough, especially when it’s taking a lot out of you and you don’t have the time or energy to create :( but hang in there!! you will make things again! It’s not lost. If you’re not able to create right now that’s just bc your formidable powers are in charging mode. They got a little pooped out bc brains and bodies can only do so much but they’re charging up and you’ll be back to a full battery and it’s gonna feel so good. Be kind to yourself 💕 and remember that you are GOOD at this. you’re GREAT at it. your skills and talents are so impressive to me and the heart that goes into your work is what makes it truly special💜 please don’t feel pressure to draw or post if you aren’t up for it but whenever u do I will be extremely delighted,,,I am always so excited to see your art. I’m a sweetgaleria fan. anyway I hope you have a nice day!!

tumblr user carpisuns I've been reading this ask for so long and I still haven't found the proper way to say thank you??? These past few months haven't been the easiest in a number of ways, so your message really did make my week, thank you so so much <33 I don't think I have the mental capacity to reply to your message the way I wanted to, but I hope you know i am also a huge carpisuns fan, seeing your rambles and your doodles and your tags on everything is always so exciting and fun!!! You put a lot of love and care into the things you do, and that shows. I hope we can continue to see each other grow through the years!! And same goes to you!!!! You will be able to create again, you are AMAZING at what you do, and it's normal to feel like you can't draw or write the same way you used to. It's like exercise, once you stop, to get back into it you have to warm up for a while before catching up where you left off. I feel bad sometimes for not improving as fast as i'd like, but then again.. we have the whole rest of our lives to get good, you know? Theres fun in improvement, too And again, thank you so much for your message!! It really did make my week, my whole month even 😭🧡

[cupcraft]

to add to the conversation about meta and critical analysis and stuff i just want to say that critical analysis isnt bad in general. Hear me out though keep scrolling if you dont want to read a long discoursey kinda post but its not neg for reference /srs.

NOT A VAGUEPOST! I am commenting solely on trends of things in the fandom since my experience being here since 2020 writing meta since january 2021.

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many people (like me for example) enjoy writing analysis that is through a critical lens even though we enjoy the narrative and character. Some people enjoy writing through that lens and they dont like that character or narrative. some people dont like the narrative or character at all and it would be critical. i think at least in all my experiences in fandoms is a really normal part of fandom analysis and enjoying a story and is fine! if you maintag you for sure should tag your crit and stuff but in general i think this on the whole isnt bad. Gen really weird cc neg is bad, and theres some other nuance of course but thats not the main pt of my post, but i dont think thats the majority of critical analysis in any fandom including this one we are in here. I just want to stress that people engage in this fandom in various different ways as they do in all fandoms.

I think what is really stressful is the vagueing that goes on. and for the record i am not vagueing anyone specifically by saying that and none of my mutual or people i follow or anyone at all, once again i am commenting on trends ive seen /srs! Like meta has become really difficult in my experience in fear of the neg that comes along with it or the thought that people "hate the dream smp/the content" or "hate cc's" etc because of it or even "cc's dont do lore because of posts like this". And i think that's something that needs to be addressed and talked about because it's something that we're all aware of existing and its definitely been a source of contention i think...

I think reblogging someones meta directly to discuss or add your own points (i always include a pls add on personally!) and or sending that person an ask if theyre willing to is also fine. I also think being inspired by meta to write your own points is quite fine too, those are all really enjoyable parts of fandom analysis.

and to use a personal example i know a lot of people who dont like c!ranboo or his narratives and after the ghostboo caimsey stream i remember there being a lot of discourse. I personally dont block crit analysis or anything bc i usually like to read it regardless, but i remember having a vastly different view of that stream and the narratives! So what i did was make meta about the lore from my perspective without vagueing anyone or have ties to what i read. I just was like "i really liked xyz and heres why" kinda posts. Its also crit analysis and all sorts of meta in general that have helped me change my views of characters or explore new narratives because of the different views i see about it.

What i'm trying to say is that like i think we can exist in a world where fandom crit and meta and noncrit meta and silly hcs and etc. can be enjoyable and cohesive together though i do realize there is some nuance to what i'm saying and this doesn't really handle all circumstances within this discussion.

And maybe youre a person who crit analysis stresses them out and it ruins your fandom experience. I think this is very valid but i think in fandom spaces we need to find ways to curate our own experiences. i'll admit some lore discourse has stressed me out too but i generally dont engage with it or i start ask games or hc games or i write unrelated meta or things just to avoid it. I dont have a lot of solutions for this other than: tag discourse and crit in maintagged posts, ask people you are mutuals with or follow if they can tag something (though there is no guarantee someone will and thats a okay!! you may need to block this person or their personalized blog tags for lore analysis), and or do what i do and write meta about how you did love a stream and why and start new discussions. Though i'm not sure of any other solutions off the top of my head, so i'm happy to hear more solutions.

The reason i'm writing this post is because of the crit analysis = you hate a cc and you just hate the narratives and you dont love the dsmp at all and you hold them at too high a standard etc etc etc kinda mindset i've seen since like late 2021. Because i don't hate cc's or the narratives. if i did i wouldn't be in this fandom, i woudn't write meta or engage with the content at all. and the vagueposting that i've seen is very discouraging to see at the very least especially as i've noticed how things have evolved since 2020 fandom.

I'm not sure if this is a good post, or if it adds to the discussion well. Tbh im afraid this will start discourse in itself which isnt really the point (though i tagged it that way for blacklisting...). This post is intended to help our fandom space be more cohesive to allow people the space to take narratives where they want (with nuance of course!) and for people to curate their fandom experience how they want too.

So as i always do with meta please add on, please send me asks about this. Reply. correct me even!! though i have turned off rbs because im kinda nervous for such a large discoursey style post being rb-ed around. All i ask is just dont vague me or sc this...like my anons are on i'm happy to discuss this and vagueing stresses me out which should be obvious from me writing this whole post.

because i want us to have a healthy fandom experience if we can and I see how stressed out its made me and many people on dsmp.blr during lore discourse days/analysis moments/etc.

let me know your thoughts <3!