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#these are my go to fics when i need something to read but i don't want anything too complicated
aeyumicore · 1 day
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so when i saw the caption that the official accounts wrote for their dedicated sylus banner post it got my gears going. i had posted on twitter (just some thoughts i had):
everyone wants to marry the strongest warrior off…everyone is vying for the strongest’s attention. the promise of what his union, and offspring, could bring to the tribe….but he wants everyone to know he knows exactly who he wants to marry…know his heart is already taken…..
and people were very much hoping i would run with the idea...
would you guys read if i wrote a multi-chapter non-smut fic (with some smut parts ofc)?
i don't know if it would be this idea specifically, as it would need to be something i am REALLY passionate about to make sure i complete it.
no promises, it's been something i've been debating for a while. i don't know what character it would be for....
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ashwhowrites · 2 days
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Hiiii I’m so excited that ur requests are open again!! Could you do a fic with Eddie and reader that are enemies but are in a parenting class and get partnered to take care of a fake baby together this causes them to get to know one another better and eventually fall for each other
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Parenting class
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Eddie and Y/N did not get along and everyone knew that. Eddie wasn't sure why he hated Y/N but he knew he did. Y/N thought Eddie was loud and annoying. They bickered anytime they were in a room together.
They only had one class together and it was health. Most of the time Eddie ditched so Y/N lived in her small victories. But a new lesson was being taught- parenting. And to make it worse, they got partnered together.
Y/N groaned as she walked over to Eddie's table and slammed her books down.
"Well hello to you too, gorgeous." Eddie teased. He loved getting under her skin and driving her insane.
"Shut up," she rolled her eyes and sat down
They sat in silence as the teacher explained the project and then handed them a fake baby doll.
"Look, he's kinda ugly, like you!" Eddie smirked as he held the baby and shoved it in her face
"I would rather be a single mom than spend a second pretending to have a child together."
~~~
Eddie had the first shift with the baby. They flipped a coin and he lost. Now he was listening to a fake baby cry non-stop as he tried to sleep. He swore he tried everything, he fed him, changed him, burped him, he did everything Y/N wrote on the list, but the fucker wouldn't stop crying.
He got out of bed and turned on his lamp, he grabbed his dirty jeans off the floor and dug in the pockets. Once he found the piece of paper he was looking for, he walked out to the kitchen to grab the phone.
He tried to zone out the crying as the phone rang, sighing in relief when someone picked up
"Hello?"
"I can't get that baby to shut up," Eddie growled into the phone
"Eddie, I wrote everything down, just read. Goodnight," Y/N yawned
"You don't think I've tried everything? Trust me, calling you is my last resort. Can you come over and just help me?"
"Why should I do that?" she scoffed
"Fine, but if you ever need help I ain't coming," Eddie argued, he went to hang up but she stopped him
"What's your address?"
~
Eddie was cradling the baby doll as he waited for Y/N to arrive. He sighed in relief when he heard a knock on the door. He opened the door and Y/N slipped inside.
"My uncle is in bed so we'll go to my room," Eddie whispered, even though he was sure the baby woke him up
Y/N nodded and followed him into the room
"Hand him over," Y/N sighed, her eyes heavy as the sleep never left her body.
Eddie handed him over, watching with curious eyes as she tucked the baby in her arms. He watched in awe as she cradled the baby and bounced him in her arms, the cries dying out.
Y/N smiled as the baby seemed to calm down
"Do you have a magical touch or something?" Eddie joked, wiping the tiredness from his eyes
Y/N looked up at him, just noticing he was shirtless. She quickly looked at his face and gave him a smirk
"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased
Eddie rolled his eyes but he couldn't help smiling
"Not even if I was dying, dear," he joked.
"Where does he sleep? I'll set him down," Y/N offered as she stood up
"On the bed," Eddie shrugged. He stood up and pulled the sheets back, she stepped next to him. Her soft skin touched his as she set the baby on the bed.
"Hopefully he'll stay asleep until the morning," Y/N said
"I'll walk you out," Eddie offered, Y/N nodded and walked behind him.
"Thank you for helping," he said as he opened the door
"I was helping the baby, don't flatter yourself."
Eddie smiled to himself as she walked out.
~~~
Over the next few weeks, Eddie and Y/N found themselves calling each other for help. Which forced them to hang out and talk to each other.
They learned a few things about each other, which seemed to humanize them. Y/N learned things about Eddie that she liked, and made her look at him differently. Eddie knew that Y/N had struggles in her own life and maybe he was too hard on her.
They didn't realize how easy it was to get along. Eddie found himself enjoying Y/N's presence and wanted her around more. He liked how soft and gentle she was with the baby, it showed a different side of her that he didn't know existed.
Y/N liked seeing Eddie try at something and seeing him care. She even began to find herself attracted to him. He was more open with her and she found herself wishing she could heal all his wounds.
By the time they finished the project, they both formed a huge crush on each other. They got comfortable and began to flirt, testing the waters.
Eddie wanted to ask her out but he was a bit nervous she would say no. He didn't know if being together changed anything or if it was just him. With the project finished, they didn't have an excuse to see each other and Eddie knew the longer he waited the easier it would be for her to find someone else.
He didn't know that she was thinking the same thing. She noticed that he didn't pick on her to make her insecure, but more of picking on her to make her blush. Their comments were less harsh, and he began to compliment her.
Eddie was too chicken to do it in person, so he waited until he got home from school and could ask over the phone.
He gave himself a little pep-talk before he picked up the phone and dialed her number
"Hello?"
He smiled when he heard her voice
"Hey, it's Eddie, I was wondering if you might be interested in getting food together? Like on a date," he swore he was holding his breath once he finished his sentence.
"I'll be ready at seven, and I'd bring flowers if I were you," she said before she hung up, smiling to herself.
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@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93 @gretavankleep37 @bellaisswagger @arlx @ineedmentalhelp123
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munsonkitten · 2 days
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read on AO3 | rated T | sick fic
Eddie groans on the other side of the room. He’s curled up on the recliner with a pillow hugged to his chest. Beside him, a half eaten bag of chips and an unopened Mountain Dew can sit on the side table. He groans again and shifts in his seat, drawing his knees up higher to his chest like he’s trying to crawl inside himself. 
“You okay, baby?” Steve asks from the couch. 
A quiet grunt comes from the mess of curly brown hair covering his face. He unravels himself slowly, crawling out of the chair without bothering to put down the foot rest. The pillow gets left where it is, and the chips and his drink lay forgotten where they are. 
“I’ll be back.”
Eddie disappears from the living room, and the bathroom door clicks close. He’s gone for a little while, and Steve’s about to get up to check on him when the bathroom door opens again, and then he hears Eddie step out and the bedroom door clicks shut instead. When Eddie finally comes back, he’s replaced his jeans for sweatpants, and he has one of his blankets wrapped around his shoulders. 
“My stomach hurts,” Eddie says, his voice sounding miserable. 
It’s a common occurrence at this point. Steve’s used to Eddie being so up and down — he has good days and bad days, and he eats too much junk food for his stomach to handle. Most days something hurts, and Steve wishes he could wrap Eddie up and keep him safe and away from the pain forever. 
In the few months they’ve been together, and the year before that they were friends, Steve’s seen more stomach aches, headaches, painful periods, heartburn and other various ailments than he can count. And he knows Eddie can feel completely miserable over the smallest things — he doesn’t handle any of it very well, moaning and groaning and sighing while he looks for tums and ibuprofen and whatever else he needs. 
Steve hums empathetically, sitting up in case Eddie wants the spot where he’s laying. “Can I get you anything?”
Eddie shakes his head.
“Is it period cramps?”
Eddie shakes his head again. 
“Good old fashioned tummy ache, then,” Steve says. 
Eddie shrugs, wrapping his blanket tighter around himself. He turns around and goes into the kitchen, and Steve hears glasses clinking in the cupboard, and then the sink running. Eddie comes back with a glass of water, taking small sips as he comes toward Steve.
He places a damp hand on his forehead, and then his cheeks, cooling his pink skin. He might have a fever, too, Steve thinks. Something’s been going around, and it’s knocked out each kid one after the other this week — it was only a matter of time before Eddie or Steve caught it too. 
“C’mere, kitten,” Steve says, opening up his arms.
He lays back down, gesturing for Eddie to come lay with him on the couch. 
Eddie fits himself half on top of Steve, the rest of him slipping between Steve and the back of the couch. The blanket covers them, and Steve can tell Eddie took off his binder when he left the room, too. It’s rare for him to take it off during the day, even if it’s just them at home with no other plans, so he knows Eddie must really not be feeling good. 
“Are you sure you don't want a ginger ale, or something?” Steve asks. He slides his hand up and down Eddie’s back, trying to soothe away the pain. 
“Don’t have any.” 
“I can run to the store.”
“No,” Eddie says. “Only cure is cuddles.”
“Is that so?” Steve snorts. 
“Don’t make fun of me. I’m being attacked by my immune system. I’m sick, Steve. You would make fun of someone for having an illness? Shame on you.”
It’s obvious Eddie’s heart isn’t really in it. The teasing doesn’t feel like it usually does because Eddie just sounds tired. He burrows his warm face into Steve’s neck, and sighs, a quiet groan slipping out along with it. 
“I’m sorry you don’t feel good, baby,” Steve murmurs. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers. “Always so sweet to me.”
“Just say the word, and I’ll go get some stuff for you, okay?” Steve offers again. 
Eddie just hums noncommittally and curls impossibly closer to Steve’s body. He’s snoring softly within the next few minutes, and Steve just turns his attention back to the TV, allowing Eddie to get some rest. 
They lay there together for a long while, and Eddie comes in and out of consciousness ever so often. Sometimes he mumbles out quiet words of ‘don’t feel good,’ or laughs at jokes on the show they’re watching, and falls back asleep again.
There’s a warm swell of love in Steve’s chest. The fact that Eddie’s comfortable with him, even when he’s miserable like this, makes Steve fall in love with him even more.
Each nuzzle of Eddie’s warm face against his neck, and each curl of his fingers in Steve’s shirt, or each slide of his leg over Steve’s hip as he gets more comfortable — it all makes Steve feel like the luckiest guy on earth. 
The afternoon slips away into evening, and Eddie dozes in and out for most of it. By the time Wayne’s about to leave for work, Eddie’s awake again and groaning in discomfort each time he shifts on the couch.
“I take it someone’s not feeling well,” Wayne comments as he leaves his bedroom. “You need anything before I go, bud?” 
“No,” Eddie says, lifting his head just enough to talk to Wayne. He drops it back down with a heavy sigh when the fatigue decides he’s done enough. “Steve’s taking care of me.”
Wayne lingers for just another second, probably waiting to see if Eddie changes his mind, and then he says his goodbyes and tells them he’ll be back in the morning, like always. 
Eddie mumbles out a goodbye and a ‘see you later,’ just as Wayne walks out the front door. 
He uncurls himself from Steve’s body, then, and worms his way into a sitting position. Steve shifts to give Eddie more room, and raises an eyebrow at him. 
There’s a sheen of sweat on Eddie’s face, his forehead glistening and his cheeks a rosy pink. He pushes the blanket off of them and sighs, head lolling back against the backrest of the couch. 
“It’s too hot,” Eddie bemoans. 
And it’s not, really. It’s winter, and there’s a chill in the air, even inside. Eddie’s like a furnace, though, and his forehead is warm when Steve lifts his hand to touch it. 
“You might be really coming down with something,” Steve says. 
“You should probably go home,” Eddie says. “Don’t wanna get you sick.”
Steve frowns and shakes his head. “I’ll take care of you.”
Eddie sighs, loud and long. “You shouldn’t have to.”
“I don’t feel like I have to,” Steve says, simply. “I like taking care of you. Figured you’d have noticed that by now.”
Eddie drops his head down to Steve’s chest and moans quietly in his throat. His fingers curl around Steve’s shirt and he holds on, curled in on himself. 
“Fuck,” Eddie grunts after a few seconds. “Sorry. Just had, like, a wave of nausea.”
“At the thought of me taking care of you?” Steve jokes.
“Shut up.”
“C’mon, let’s get you to bed, baby. You’ll be more comfortable.” 
“Give me another second. Please.”
“Take your time,” Steve says, rubbing a hand up and down Eddie’s back. His shirt is damp with sweat, and he’s radiating feverish heat. 
Whatever Eddie has is coming on quick because he was fine this afternoon when Steve first came over. That’s why Steve thought it was just a regular junk food induced stomach ache earlier, and that Eddie would be fine after some tums or a nap, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. 
He’s been around for headaches and stomach aches and other little ailments, but he’s never seen Eddie sick. Not like this. 
Eventually Eddie uncurls himself from Steve, and unsteadily makes his way to his feet. There’s exhaustion in his movements, and Steve is quick to wrap an arm around his waist to help him. It might not be necessary, but Steve can’t help it — he wants to take care of Eddie in any way he can, and making sure he doesn’t pass out in the fifteen feet from the couch to his bedroom seems like a good place to start. 
He gets Eddie situated in bed, fluffing up his pillows and making sure his blankets are within reach. Eddie takes one and pulls it up to his chin, rolling over to lay on his side. If he didn’t look so miserable, Steve thinks this would be really cute — Eddie being all cozy and cuddly always makes Steve smile and want to take a picture to save forever. 
“I’m going to the store,” Steve says, regretting that he has to leave Eddie alone, but knowing he needs more than they currently have to get through this. “I’ll get you some soup and some ginger ale, okay? Anything else you might need?”
Eddie shrugs. “Just be quick.”
“Of course, baby.”
He bends down and presses a kiss to Eddie’s sweaty forehead, running his fingers through his damp hair, and then he finds his shoes and keys and leaves. 
At the store, he picks out a few cans of soup and some ginger ale. He tries to remember what his mom would do for him when he was sick as a kid, and thinks of long nights with a cold towel pressed to his forehead, and a regularly refilled cup of ice for him to chew on. He doesn’t know how much ice Eddie has in his freezer, so he decides he’ll just buy a bag instead of worrying about finding ice trays or how long they’ll take to freeze.
His basket is full by the time he gets to the check out, and he knows he’s been gone for a lot longer than he meant to be. 
He gets back to Eddie’s, and finds him still curled up in bed where Steve left him. Steve gives him a Gatorade and a cup of ice before leaving to put the rest of the groceries away. 
“Here, try eating something,” Steve says gently, watching as Eddie’s big eyes give him a look that says he wants to do anything else. “Just a few crackers, okay? And I’ll make you some soup in a little bit.”
Steve leaves him to it, a napkin of saltines on his nightstand, and goes to wet a washcloth from the bathroom. He folds it a few times and moves Eddie’s bangs so he can lay it over his forehead. 
“Thanks,” Eddie whispers, bringing a cracker to his mouth to take a few small bites. He finishes it and moves to lay down on his side, now holding the cold washcloth to his forehead. 
“Do you need anything else while I’m up?” Steve asks. 
Eddie takes a few small sips of his Gatorade, and then a few more before answering. “I’m okay.”
With that, Steve climbs into Eddie’s bed, settling between his boyfriend and the wall. He pulls a magazine out of the crevice between the bed and the wall and flicks it open to where he left off the last time he was here. 
“You’re supposed to be cuddling me,” Eddie huffs, looking over his shoulder at Steve with as playful a look he can muster. “It’s the only cure.”
“How could I forget?” 
Steve puts his magazine back, and turns on his side so he can spoon up behind Eddie. His hand settles gently on his stomach, rubbing up and down in a way he hopes is soothing for him. 
It’s pretty likely, Steve thinks, that he’s going to get sick soon, too. This stomach bug has wiped out most of their friends at this point, and being this close to Eddie means it’s definitely going to jump to him next. 
He finds that he doesn’t really care. There’s no place he’d rather be right now, and there’s no way in hell he’s leaving Eddie to ride this out on his own. 
“So sweet to me,” Eddie murmurs sleepily. It isn’t the first time he’s said it today.
Steve presses a kiss to the back of his warm neck. “Get some rest, baby.”
“Mhm,” Eddie hums. “Tired.”
Sleep tugs at Steve, and he lets himself succumb to it, Eddie held safe in his arms.
(please leave kudos on AO3 <3)
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daengtokki · 2 days
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Heyy there :) I literally can't stop thinking about SKZ f!additional member AU and softie Seungmin who seems nonchalant like the unbothered king he is but caring just deeply about reader, for example looking out for her when practice gets tough, getting snacks during recording sessions and so oooon. Yeah, I'm weak for that. Maybe you are, too. Have fun during this fluffy week either way^-^<3
This trope is interesting, but I've never actually read a single fic based on it! I'm not sure if I would do it justice. I do have an idea, though, and it's in the same vein as this, and I can add in the things that you're weak for (because same). The problem is…I can’t do it in a single ~1k word oneshot 🥲
So thank you for the inspiration for a new possible longer story! Unless everyone absolutely hates it.
If you like it, I’ll be happy.
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idol!Kim Seungmin/guest artist!reader/idol!Chan x reader △
wc: ~1.1k (part 1?)
rating: angst to fluff
Day 5 of Seungmin's birthday oneshot countdown!
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It's a few more weeks at the most, maybe longer, and after that...he'll probably never see you, or talk to you again. The planning stages of this was fun, he admits, and all eight of you sitting around the table talking to you on speakerphone; the excitement in everyone's eyes and voices was contagious. And of course Seungmin is excited...it's you. He's been a fan of yours for as long as he can remember, so having the opportunity to work alongside you, and maybe even sing with you? It’s a dream come true.
That's the problem.
He hasn't slept properly in a few days, and he's feeling very puffy and tired. There's only so much he can do now to prepare himself. He took a cold shower this morning, drank as much water as he could handle, but after that he couldn't stomach more than half of his iced coffee. It's still in his hand, numb from the almost melted ice, and dripping steadily on the floor. You're somewhere in this building right now, and you could walk in with the others at any moment.
Time to turn off. Turn off or make a complete ass of himself.
/ / /
You feel a little awkward as you walk toward the meeting room...recording studio? You actually have no clue where you're going, but you're flanked by two much taller men you don't know, and in front of you is Chan, who was a little red in the face when he was talking to you and asking you to call him Chris. So you do.
"Chris?"
He turns and smiles at you, and it's so...something you can't and refuse to deal with right now, you think. No. It's cute, and it's shy. The photos you've seen of him before today really did nothing for him, even the good ones. But you're a professional, and you are very good at acting professional when needed. Even when sweet, attractive men are involved.
"Yeah, all good?"
"Good, yeah! Where are we headed? Should I be mentally preparing to meet everyone?"
"Yes, definitely start preparing right now"
One more right turn and something about the door up ahead feels like the one. Meeting suite 1411. That's the one. Chris opens the door and moves aside to let you in first, and the room is empty, or appears to be. Security fell back and took up guard at the end of the hallway (unnecessary and embarrassing, you told Chris when they appeared).
"Oh, nobody is here...okay." He checks his phone and scrunches his nose, and you kind of feel like kissing it. "I'm sorry, I guess everyone ignored the group chat this morning."
"That's alright, are they somewhere else?"
"It's possible, but..." he points to the table filled with snacks and drinks. "I don't wanna drag you around looking for them." The phone is to his ear, and you hear it ringing, and ringing...
"I can wait here if you have to go find them. I already see a coffee carafe with my name on it."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. I haven't had enough coffee or stare at my phone time this morning, anyway. And my friends are down the hall."
He smiles so big, you have to return is just as enthusiastically. Maybe he'll turn up his flirting, and you won't have to feel as responsible for your own.
"I'll be right back"
Chris turns on his heel and is gone, and the room is so quiet. Maybe you should put some music on. Before anything, you look over the catering and wonder if anyone will actually have time to enjoy this. The coffee and lemon water, sure, but this is actually a full-course meal in front of you. Just as you fill your cup with coffee, you hear music...but you don't think you pushed play yet.
No, definitely not, because it's your voice that you're hearing. You turn toward it, and jump when you see him standing there, almost mid-step, one hand reaching to pull at his earlobe. His eyes are wide, but other than that...he seems less surprised to see you than you are to see him. But he does at least pause the music.
"Hello," you say, hoping to get him to come a little closer. Whoever he is, and you feel like you should remember all of their names by now, he looks a little annoyed that he now has to share this space and this coffee with someone else. "My eyesight isn't great even with the contacts... I don't bite."
"Hi," he takes a few steps toward you, and you watch his long legs move in his shorts and socks and clean black converse. "I'm–"
"No, I can remember...give me a second"
He does, but he doesn't seem happy about it. This one doesn't have the carefree smile that Chris did, or the shy demeanor. It's a bit distracting, the way his lips purse into a heart, and the way his big brown eyes look down at you. His hair falls perfectly in front of his eyes, but you're pretty sure he woke up looking this good.
"Oh..." it comes to you, sort of. "You're the puppy, aren't you?" You think you see the ghost of a smile on his lips, but it's gone so quickly. "Seungmin."
"Yes, I'm the puppy. And also Seungmin."
The puppy persona fits him, at least physically. His face is soft and round, his big brown eyes turn every so slightly downward, and his ears—something about the way his ears sit on his head, is so... "it's nice to finally meet you."
"Likewise"
Seungmin holds out his hand for you. You do the same, and he takes it so gently. His touch and his mien don't seem to match, and you wonder if the first impression isn't the one to remember for this one.
/ / /
Seungmin finally takes a deep breath when you turn and head toward the coffee again, and he watches as you very carefully add the smallest amount of milk and sugar to it. He finally finished his, so maybe he should make himself another cup. It gives him a reason to rejoin you instead of standing here looking like an idiot.
"Have you met everyone else, or just me?" What a stupid question, he thinks. "I mean, I'm sure you met someone...you're here."
"I met Chris. He left to go find all of you, but you must be the only one who read the message and listened."
"Yes, I saw the message. I like to be on top of things."
The way his voice lowers as he speaks sends a little shiver up your arms. Seungmin likes to be on top of things, and you love catching an innuendo wherever you can. You smirk, but wipe it from your face when you think he might be looking at you.
Seungmin sees the smile pull at your lips and then disappear immediately. "What?"
"Nothing,” you laugh. “I don’t think you talked much on the calls, did you?”
“I did not speak much, I don’t have too much creative say. I have some, it just depends on what we’re doing.”
“Well, it’s tough getting in there with eight of you, I’m sure. Everyone can’t be everywhere…too many cooks in the kitchen.”
Seungmin allows himself to laugh at that, but he stifles it a little and turns away. You’re as cute and relaxed in person as you seem in interviews, and on stage, and it’s a little overwhelming. He can’t let himself do this—he can’t get himself into something he won’t be able to escape. But he seems to remember reading something about a possible relationship you’ve gotten yourself into. Thinking about that breaks his heart a little, but it’ll at least help keep him away.
None of that matters, though. Why would you have any interest in him in the first place?
“Do you want coffee? How do you take it?”
Dammit, okay… “black is good.”
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I'm just curious since I absolutely adore all your trans Ed fics, what made you read Ed as being trans? Is it more of a personal headcanon since we tend to see ourselves in fictional characters, or did you notice some tiny detail on the show that made you think so?
Oh my friend, I'm so glad you ask.
The cool thing about reading Ed as trans, I think, is that you do not even have to squint to do it. Literally you need to change exactly nothing, and this read suddenly adds a lot of nuance and additional juicy layers to his story and his journey with masculinity.
Ed's whole deal with masculinity, precisely exactly all of it, makes him feel so much like a trans guy who never outgrew the "I need to be hypermasculine so I pass" phase, fitting that read so precisely that given there are trans writers on the OFMD team I would be absolutely SHOCKED if at least some of it wasn't intentional. Every single trans guy I know has been through a version of this, where you come out and you know you're a man but you need everyone else to know, too, and so you lean very hard into masculinity to make damn sure you pass. And not just pass, but pass perfectly. Ed is forcing himself into such a heavy ideal of masculinity that it feels artificial; he needs to make sure everyone sees him as this perfect ideal of a masculine man that he cannot possibly live up to because no one could.
Certainly, parts of Ed's hyper-masculine presentation seem to be things that genuinely make him happy and bring him joy. That's important. Ed's happy to be a man, the problem is that he's trying to force himself into such a narrow idea of masculinity that it's stifling him. It's preventing him from enjoying more ""feminine"" things that he genuinely loves, because he's terrified of being seen as less of a man for it, and people like Izzy reinforce the idea that if Ed fucks up in his performance of masculinity, he's going to be in danger because of that. It's very real, and the added juiciness from reading Ed as trans adds so much to the great story that's already there, I think. There's this additional element of Ed knowing he's a man but needing to make sure everyone else could never doubt it, there's an additional perceived danger to slipping up, there's a sort of jealous admiration for guys like Stede who seem, at least on the surface, so much more comfortable with a different type of masculinity that Ed wishes he could have more of.
And on top of that, there's just a lot of other little additional things, like:
Ed making his beard his whole brand, it just screams beard dysphoria and "no one could ever claim I'm not a man because the beard is my whole THING."
Something about his relationship with his name, and how hard he has to try to get people like Izzy to call him by his name in front of others
The way Ed is dehumanized when he dares to step outside a very safe, masculine gender presentation - it's why Izzy saying "this thing you've become" when Ed is wearing a robe and painted nails hits so hard for me, I think
Okay. okay. listen. You know the scene where Ed makes CJ whip him in the balls. Listen. Ed baby. It just SCREAMS "people here don't know I'm trans and I don't know how much getting hit in the balls should ACTUALLY hurt so I'm gonna lay it on really really thick just to be safe"
There's a lot to be said about Ed and his clothing in a lot of directions, but I'm gonna leave it at how he's really figured out a safe set of clothing that works for him and consistently allows him to be read as this super masculine guy, and he's scared to step away from that. Also, I really like imagining the full-fingered gloves at the end of s1 as a way to cover up the nail polish on his fingernails until it wears off.
I think it's very sweet that Ed tends to be very private when talking about his personal and sex life with others, but a very, very easy explanation for how that got started is he just doesn't want to go around sharing personal details about his body with people!
Yeah. A trans read of Ed is so shockingly easy, fits so well, and adds so much to his journey, frankly I'm amazed it's not more common.
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draw-ren-draw · 2 days
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Avantris Comic Scripts #3 Often when I get ideas for comics, I break my panels into scripts first. These are less prose-y than fics but still contain dialogue and basic interactions. This is a jokey followup from the concept of my last one, be sure you're up to ep:56 to avoid spoilers!
Shaky Origins (spoilers up to ep: 56!) [A snippet exploring how Torbek may have met Carnival Lecroux based on my favorite theory: that The Duke/Gorebek is the original inhabitant of their shared body and it is Torbek who came second. A lot can happen to an cursed amnesiac. Especially around Carnival LeCroux.] * * * * *
It's a pleasant sunny day near Carnival LeCroux where a Bugbear stumbles out of the brush, blood on his hands, matted fur, drink on his lips and not a single thought in his head. In his claws he tightly grips a piece of torn parchment with chunks of it missing. He squints at it, willing the foreign characters to make sense. He can't remember a thing! Where is he? How did he get here? Who... is he?? He feels like he should be able to read this but the letters don't quite look right. They dance in front of his eyes as he desperately tries to pick out any of them. He points at each in turn, sounding them out. They almost seem to say something like… "Torr... Bek?" He murmurs it again and stares deeply at the writing. Parchment taking up all of his focus, he wanders forward into the carnival proper.
???" You there? You one of mine?"
The bugbear holds the paper, paralyzed as he tries to form one coherent thought, but all that comes out is the last thing he read. "T-T-orbek…?"
Kremy grimaces, smelling the boozy breathe on the bugbear, almost regretting his choice to interact with them at all. Kremy: "Ooh, you reek. You must be one of mine. Listen, what did you say, 'Torbek?' That your name? Whatever, look Turkbek just go use those long arms of yours and get those patrons down." With a wave of his staff, he gestures to the oval-shaped legally distinct 'herris' wheel that has clearly broken down full of riders. Kremy: "Drink break is over." Utterly stunned and still unable to get a grip on reality, the bugbear can do nothing but follow the alligator ushering him toward the broken down ride.
It doesn't take the bugbear long to fulfill the order and he tries again to collect himself as he stands amid the bustling carnival, confused once more. A Tabaxi comes jogging up Frost: "You, you're.. Torbek, was it?" The Tabaxi squints at something he has written on papers.
"Torbek.." the bugbear shakes, wide eyed, trying to cling to the one rational thought he can. So much is happening--!! Frost: "..Right, listen, Kremy just needs you to fill out these forms, I don't care if you don't have a resume, but all the new hires need to." Frost shoves the papers into his hands, continuing to hurry to the next pressing task in his clearly full day. He points one last time before he departs. Frost "Come turn them in later-!"
Hand now full of employment pages, 'Torbek' stumbles, starting to wander again. Who are all these people?? This paper says his name is Torbek, so is that his-- He walks past a goblin, who is manning a small stall. Gricko: "Oh hey! Kremy Finally hired another goblinoid! That's nice, always been waiting for that. Anyway it's me lunch break, gotta get a goblin surf n' turf if you know what I mean, ohhh I'll catch ya later!" He laughs, clapping Torbek on the back and shooting finger guns Gricko: "Thanks buddy!" Left alone at the stall, the bugbear sits down, ignoring everything but the papers in front of him. Undeterred his customers just help themselves to his game. He checks the paper again. It has Torbek on it. Is that his name? It must be, everyone else seems convinced of it! He takes a deep breathe, confirming it for himself with a nod. "…Torbek i-is. Torbek." ???: "Torbek huh? I've heard of weirder" He looks across his stall to see a tent of clowns, Chuckles shoots the bugbear a knowing look and gestures at the state of him. Chuckles: "More like 'Torn-bek', in more ways than one! Ah-hoho-hah! HEHhhheh... workshop it…" The Clown mumbles, stopping to write something down. Gideon enters from the right, we hear him before we even see him "Man, I hate walking past the clowns." Gideon: "Hey turkey or whatever!" The Bugbear jerks in place. "Come on, Kremy needs ya." With a groan, 'Torbek' follows obediently. It seems his day is not going to get any easier... * * The camera pans out * * From afar, a figure watches the once proud and ruthless Duke of Iron and Glass meandering around some shitty carnival like an absolute fool. Something had gone very wrong, or very, very right.
Bonus joke panel of Gid and Krem 'ironically' shacked up, chilling after hours: Kremy: I don't know how you pick em gid but at least you got a new hire this time. Gideon: [Internally] Huh did he? He must have, he was just that awesome.
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ghouldtime · 3 days
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Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names
Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this
Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it
The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".
Especially when they've literally JUST met
Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%
It comes up and I look at the page like this
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It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it
It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.
It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.
Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal
I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane
And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video
Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.
Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:
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look I can absolutely muster.
Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day
For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.
It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.
It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲
To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here
(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)
Rant over,
Ghoul out
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olderthannetfic · 5 hours
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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/761458928081125376/i-keep-seeing-posts-like-fanfic-authors-please?source=share
Im sure there's people asking for and acting like smut needs to be educational 100% of the time, and yeah that's annoying, but on the other hand I actually quite enjoy smut that lays out all the details of consent and birth control and boundaries. I find it soothing, I find it sexy, I like it when its realistic. Call me crazy! Not wanting every single smut I read to be about two people going at it like animals in heat! Sometimes I want to read something that actually feels real. Crazy, I know. Maybe I have a consent kink, I don't know, but you know what, I don't think people that want to read that should be shit on for wanting it. When every single smut fic I read has no conversations about it, no discussions of safe words, no aftercare, no nothing that makes it feel grounded, yeah I'm gonna complain about it. Is it right for people to be going into comment sections complaining about it to authors who write the smut they don't like? No of course not, don't do that. But we have a right to complain about it online.
And I already write it, so don't come with the "just write it yourself" I already do. So you can read your unrealistic smut, and I can read my realistic smut, and we can complain about each other in our little spaces, but don't insult the people that like what they like just because you find it unsexy
--
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luna-lovegreat · 4 months
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Legend sick fics you say 👀
Well I don’t think I remember too many sick fics off the top of my head but weathered and wavering by Quirkle is very good.
Once you have a collection please do share with the class 🫶
Hehe yeah. Here is the original post about Legend sick fics. I got a lot of recommendations in the replies and reblogs that are so cool- seriously I read a ton of them and you guys are so awesome (/gen)
@uniquevoidflowers wrote this fic for me which is amazing of course- it has some of the coolest imagery with a flower thermometer which makes me very happy
Pretty much all of @skyward-floored 's sick fics are awesome, including this legend one that was instantly recommended to me by quite a lot of people lol (since it was posted very recently) (go read it)
Fill the cracks with gold by @sister-dear was so fun to read, it might be one of my favourites for Four
I loved Hiding behind plaster and ceramics by @occasionallyprosie -it had a lot of takes I hadn't seen before and was also very good writing
@arecaceae175 recommended down, a nine chapter sickfic that is really good, I loved reading it.
There's a lot of other ones, and most of them are in the notes of the post I made:
@the-au-collector made this reblog with a ton of good recommendations, and @hero-of-the-wolf reblogged with one I liked. Idk if the links can work like that but we'll find out
And my wisdom tooth surgery went well :D I've stayed off the internet for a bit of recovery. I'm good I'm just not doing too much interacting when I'm tired *shrug*. I was scared because my health is always so bad but it was ok. :))) I have definitely spent a lot of time reading- I knew it was a good idea to ask for sick fics for surgery week XD
So that's the lovely list of sick fics I've been reading- for when you get your wisdom teeth out. Or you're not feeling well, or you just feel like reading. Anyways.
Also my mind is still pretty tired right now but I wanted to answer this- I hope it's ok for everyone I tagged, and my phrasing and language isn't good right now, sorry. Love you guys /plat <333
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crownedwille · 2 months
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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Unnecessary discussion about Chat Noir and the Drums
There’s something I love so much about Chat playing the drums in Horrificator. This is something that’s been on my mind since I was 13, so hold on here.
First, obviously, Adrien also plays the piano - which obviously still has a lot of meaning!! - I’m not here to diss on the piano, there’s a lot of freedom of expression in every instrument type and music expression in general, but there’s a reason why some people are more inclined to different instruments, and I think there’s a lot more to it than just sound, but feeling as well. The role you play. How it feels to play it alone vs. playing it with others, if it’s typically something that you can play alone vs. in a group.
So first, the piano, and how I think it relates to Adrien’s character, plus how it relates to those points.
The piano, let’s be real, is something that a lot of us were forced to take lessons for at some point. It’s something that has ties to high society (there’s a HUGE discussion and so much more to say about that, but let’s not go there) and honestly?? I think it works pretty well with symbolizing the obsession with perfection that Gabriel shoves onto him. I’ve known many piano players, and while some genuinely loved playing it, it was always easier to somehow stumble onto someone with a deep hatred for it after being forced into lessons. Whenever I asked them why they hated it, I got almost the same answer every time: “I need to be perfect.” (Along with people saying that they were forced to lol)
Then there’s the role you play. You can play with people in a band, an orchestra, as an accompanist, a duet, at a bar with a bunch of people singing - whatever - music has many forms, and many different connections. But the piano is something you can play solo, no need for anyone else. It isn’t what you can do with other people that I’m focusing on for this, it’s the fact that you don’t need anyone. You can play alone, and it’ll still be fine. You can be alone, and you’re still fine - perfect even - which is something that Gabriel shoves down his throat, resistant to him playing with his friends by touching on this ideology.
Which is a glimpse into how he sees Adrien, and how Adrien experiences life. He can be alone, in fact he’s more perfect when he’s alone. And when other people are added, the attention to his perfection is taken away bit by bit, until he’s not good enough. He has to play solo in concert halls, on stage for everyone to watch, not in the back of a bar, playing with his friends.
Alright, so now we move to Chat Noir and the drums. The main play of this fake essay. 
It would be so easy to just ignore everything and just go “haha, he’s the energetic one, so ofc Ladybug gave him the drums! And they’re an easy instrument to play, etc.” but that’s far from the truth.
Ok, so I’m not a drum player or percussionist in any way, but I am a bass player, and genuinely love the drums so much because they’re incredibly important, and here’s my cheesy analogy: the drums are the heart of the band, keeping everyone on beat, it’s what you feel at the centre of it all. The band is nothing without the drums, without the percussion (The bass is what connects the band to the beat of the drums, kinda like the blood vessels, but sadly this ain’t about bass).  Like do you know how easy it is for a band to fall apart if they don’t have a drummer??? You need a drummer. You literally can’t survive without a drummer, because even if you manage to work together, use the bass as a backing, whatever you try, there’s still not much of a heart left.
But besides that, do you know how hard it is to play the drums??? You can’t just throw someone crazy, or energetic there just because “crazy drummers lol” you need someone who listens. Who can set the beat. Someone you can rely on, because they are the person in control, even if they aren’t as flashy as the guitar player. Reliable is the word that comes to mind. The drums can make or break a band.
And wanna know who that reminds me of?
Yeah. I highly doubt that the writers put this much thought into a random five second scene in an episode of season one, but it fits with Chat Noir SO well. 
Unlike the piano, the drums are almost solely played in a group setting - you need other people, and other people need you - he needs other people in his life, his friends are needed, but they also need him. Ladybug needs him, along with all the other heroes in Paris, whether he sees it or not. He seems to get in a state of thinking he’s not needed, but i do really think he’s the emotional glue that keeps the team connected, the heart that keeps them beating. If he’s isolated, he can’t quite reach his full potential that he can when he’s allowed to be around others, just like they can’t reach their own without him.
But on top of that, I think the stereotypes of the drums actually works in his favour for the next part. 
Breaking free from his dad, and being his own person, letting that fame go and embracing what he wants... well, to some that would look stupid. 
Relating it to music, the piano is flashy, you can play it solo, it sounds impressive, looks impressive, and people won’t think you’re just hitting pots and pans in the garage when you say you play it. But the drums are underestimated, a lot of people think you don’t need much practice, that they’re just the guys who sit at the back of the stage, not doing much, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Just like Adrien finally being who he wants wouldn’t be stupid, it could never be stupid, but there’s a stigma. But letting go of his flashy, solo life, and being the heart of his friend group is something that I think makes him truly happy as Chat Noir, and hopefully he gets to be like that as Adrien too.
Like Plagg said, Chat Noir and Adrien are both the real him, and I think the drums capture that perfectly. The heart and freedom, the meticulousness (rather than perfection) and steadiness, those are good qualities of a drummer.
I dunno, I just think it fits.
(sdfghjklkjhgf again I should state that acoustic versions of songs exist, and you can play songs without a drum and it sounds fantastic, but I’m not going into that today. Just talking generalization, and playing in a group setting). 
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khaotunq · 7 months
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hey hi i meant to do this ages ago, but if y'all wouldn't mind, go show some love to Shash, who podficced two of my Boston-centric stories? (their voice is so measured and soothing to listen to btw)
[Podfic] there's an end to my horizon by shash_reads (sunkitten_shash)
[Podfic] two parallel lines by shash_reads (sunkitten_shash)
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meownotgood · 1 year
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Can I ask what your ✨Aki journey✨ was like? I’m a Aki girlie but you clearly love Aki more than any blog I’ve ever seen (purrr) When did you start becoming interested in him? Was it an aHA moment or did it develop over time? I’m really curious!!! What inspired you to start this blog? I live, laugh, love backstories 🫶🏾❤️‍🔥
YES I would be so happy to answer this!!!!!!!
so before I read chainsaw man, I knew next to nothing about it, I wasn't really a manga reader in general to be honest but I started getting into it because I wanted to get caught up with jujutsu kaisen after finishing the anime. when I did, I really enjoyed jjk, I wanted to read more manga and a friend suggested I read chainsaw man because it's similar. I was like okay... a lot of people are into it... it looks cool... why not.
and when I started reading and I got to that third chapter and I saw aki... I literally said to myself: yeah, he is going to be my favorite. because he's exactly my type — the suit, the hair tied up so it's long and pretty when he takes it down, the SMOKING??? THE PIERCINGS????? I thought his hair was silly but adorable, his personality was stern but quirky and likable, his kon power was so cool. he was just so cute and hot and definitely my type of character.
but really, even though aki was always my favorite character from the start, my obsession truly began when I finished the manga. aki's arc is just so good... I fell in love with him the whole way through but especially after the manga was over... I loved watching him grow as a character, he just feels so real and relatable personality wise and story wise. he's immensely flawed but kindhearted to his core. he's so human. I love how he's emotional and soft and the conclusion to his arc is genuinely my favorite thing in any piece of media ever, it's so bittersweet and compelling. (and I'm a mess for that bittersweet shit okay)
anyway after I read chainsaw man for the first time I was feeling a mix of emotions between "wow that was the greatest thing ever" and "what the fuck did I just read" but more than anything I yearned for more aki, and so I read it a second time almost immediately after, and then the aki brain infection just grew worse and worse.... was screenshotting every panel of him... I read it a third time... a fourth time in the colored version to collect more panels......... I started my blog over a year ago to post fanfic and rant about aki and the rest is history
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im-getting-help · 3 months
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i can't find the motivation to keep going guys!! i think i lost it a while ago but i didn't notice lol i think it probably slipped that time i lost my wallet? idk
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autistic-britta-perry · 7 months
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getting emotional over like. the existence of trans people. I just like I hope this comes across well but my first ever feelings of rightness with my body and of like a type of beauty that I want and that would give me joy were all pictures or fictional portrayals of transmasc and non binary people watching the second half of that one ruby rose video as a teenager. watching ma vie en rose and replaying the scene which in she and a masculine 'girl' switch costumes watching trans coming out videos. Watching Carmilla and seeing Lafontaine saying 'I don't want to be Susan anymore' watching a youtuber I followed have top surgery and how happy they are and how right the chest looks watching Yael in degrassi put a binder on and replaying the scene of them seeing their flat chest and lowering their hands over it like a hundred times listening to one of my favorite songs ever that's all about loving your body despite not being what you wanted reading stone butch blues. listening to ring of keys and feeling something swelling on my chest
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girlscience · 8 months
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i genuinely think fanfic might be ruining my life
#when i say all i do all day is read fic it's not a joke and i'm starting to think it is actually bad for me#it gets in the way of quite literally everything else in my life#it is what i use to deal with any emotion outside of generally happy or vague nothingness#i read it first thing when i wake up i read until the last second i have to get out of bed#i read all day at work and then read all night until my eyes hurt and i have to go to sleep#it makes up 90% of what i think about every single day#it is a huge chunk of what i talk about with other people cause it's all my thoughts#i can't make myself stop reading it#like i actually start going through withdraw or something#it gets hard to think and i can't focus and i can't sit still and i feel so so bored#and it feels like nothing else matters#i used to read science magazines for fun and now i can't even get through one article without feeling like i'm dying#there is some crazy good fic out there but most of what i read is like... the tik tok of stories#it's like the short form version of a book#it is taking over my life (i say that like this hasn't been true for probably a decade at this point)#but i literally don't know how to fix it#i can delete my ao3 but you can read without an account#i guess i could go wholesale and delete the internet off my phone#but i need that for so many other things#i straight up don't know what to do#i might actually need help. like i think i might be addicted the way some people are to social media
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