#these people always find something to b!tch about

[bohemian-nights]

I see “fans” are concern trolling about Nettles again

[intuitively-her]

You've been through many trials and tribulations that have only made you stronger! I'm getting specifically that you don't look like the things you've been through. From the outside, you actually look perfect, or your lifestyle does. People would never know the sacrifices it took for you to get here though. Most people wouldn't have even made it through some of the obstacles that you've faced. I also get the vibe that you're very reserved with your energy. Kinda like you don't speak unless spoken to. Not in a bad way though. You could be an ambivert. ENTJ? INFJ? You don't have to do the most to get attention, it comes natural to you. You know how to stand alone. Never been a "follow the leader" type. Your balance and stability are surprising as well. It could be because of your age. Or maybe you used to live a reckless lifestyle but managed to pull yourself out of it. I feel like you have a tendency to go ghost for awhile, but then randomly pop out on some new sh*t. People can never keep up with you. You're an enigma. It kinda frustrates people tbh.😂 On the flip side, you are very loving to those closest to you. You always trust yourself and follow your heart to wherever it leads you. You are your top priority and will always make sure your cup is full before giving to someone else. If your love is not being reciprocated, then you will simply leave. Your love is intense.❤️‍🔥 You could be a gift-giver or you enjoy doing acts of kindness. You always know what to do/say at the right moment. Lastly, your star qualities are VERY attractive to others.🤩 You're so humble about it too. You could be an influencer or have an active presence on social media. You have a lot of copycats and people that try to emulate your energy. It never really sticks though.

Confirmations: Confident, Intellectual, 777, Sarcastic, Smart-ass, Mixed signals, Intimidating, 1010, Charming, Promiscuous, Friendly, Competitive, Creative

You always find a way to turn your pain into power! It doesn't matter how many hardships you face, you never let it keep you down. You're always onto the next best thing. Always looking towards the future. Someone here likes to take solo-trips often or you enjoy hiking/being in nature. You often come up creative ideas or new ways to make money. Always willing to learn something new. That trait of yours is highly admired by your bosses/higher-ups. You work very well with others. When people work with you, it quite literally increases their luck and money flow. So be mindful of who you share that energy with. You are such a kind and loving individual, even at your lowest. Give yourself more credit boo!❤️ You're very committed to your self-improvement and personal goals no matter what you go through. That's something to be proud of.

Confirmations: Famous, Sexy voice, 111, Friendly, Funny, Someone here has a cat that is very clingy, 444, Pretty skin, Hermoine from Harry Potter, Elusive, Life of the party, Genuine, Beautiful, Seeing 8's everywhere, Someone here owns an exotic animal or you want one

You know how to transmute any negative energy/situation that is sent your way. You are an alchemist. This is my witchy pile.🔮 You like to play fair and see both sides in situations. Very unbiased. However, you'll also put a b*tch in their place if needed. Cause I'm getting that people like to come into your energy to test/bully you for some reason. But you shut that sh*t down real quick.✅ You may be very introverted, or you have this innocent/naive vibe to you. A lot of people blindly trust you. They know you would never try to cross them. You're a big risk taker. You might do something unconventional for work. People love how you march to the beat of your drum always. You might spend a lot of time alone or you keep a close-knit group of friends. You're not afraid to stand alone whatsoever. Nobody can steal your happiness. That is what's most powerful about you.⭐

Confirmations: Genuine, 911, 818, Mysterious, Intoxicating, 717, Witch, Self-absorbed, Pretty eyes, 737, 777, Uptight, Predator, Intellectual, Elusive

You're more than what meets the eye. From the outside, you seem very shy or monotonous even. But you're a true gem baby.💎Your charisma and charm is one of a kind. You stand out without even realizing it. Your wit and sarcasm is very attractive. You have a very unbothered vibe to you. In your own lane, and outta the mix. It makes me think of "Daria". You might go ghost pretty often. You're very big on self-care and your alone time. On the go a lot. ✈️People feel like they can't get ahold of you anymore. You're very focused on self these days. Me vs. me kinda energy. You're a natural creator. Very artistic and out of the box. You might've been this way since childhood. You're often the topic of discussion to those around you. People really enjoy having you around, whether you know this or not. You're a sweetheart once you truly open up. People feel lucky that they took the time to get to know you. You're a true friend.🩷

Confirmations: Clingy, 111, Wife, Light skin tone, 222, One night stand, Player, 999, Mixed signals, Addict, Psychic, Lazy, Outgoing, Eccentric

💖Please do not copy, repost, or steal my work. Thanks!💖

I missed you guyss xx!!🩷🩷🩷

[punksocks]

To Tame The Untamable: Lilith & Obsession Pt.2- The Placements

*Just based on my experiences, please only take what resonates

Ok my whole preamble can be found here. That’s all my philosophical reasoning, and my breakdown of the why of what makes people obsessed with Lilith energy. now here’s the placements.

-Natal Placements that can make others obsessed with you:

-Lilith in 1st/conjunct Asc: you’re divisive by accident. People always love you or hate you, but everyone has an opinion on you whether they actually know you or not. You embody Lilith’s dark, rebellious, and sensual femininity without even trying. You probably have a figure that turns heads as well. You come off as fiery and intimidating. Others get enamored and fixated on you. The tricky part can come with invoking such strong reactions in others, a fan can easily turn into an enemy. This can happen just as easily in reverse as well.

-Lilith in 10th/conjunct MC: You come off as controversial as you are powerful. You walk into a room and everyone feels the weight of your presence before you even say a word. Truly the embodiment of boss b*tch energy and you don’t have to try. Your presence demands respect and can easily intimidate others, even potential suitors. Even when you’re at your least confident you’re formidable, at your most confident you’re untouchable.

-Lilith in 7th: You’re a charmer by nature. You may find yourself at the center of controversial attention and scandal in relationships. It’s easy for you to persuade others into doing what you want them to. People may always want to be the one to tame you and to get you to settle down with them but you’re hard to get a hold of.

-Lilith in 4th: You grew up with adults viewing you as competition (which was like super inappropriate for them to do). You may have learned about using your looks/energy as a weapon for survival from an early age. A lot of people are fascinated with the way you handle your home life. You probably give a lot of people fantasies about settling down with you, but they get afraid/intimidated by what that could mean and how that could impact their families (the ones they already have and the ones they hope to have in the future)

-Lilith in 8th: Scorponic themes here. Lilith triggers obsession easily in this house, for both the native and others. Here deep aspects of taboo/shadow desires can be revealed by Lilith’s exposing energy. I feel like this is one of those house placements for Lilith that makes the native have a lot of scandalous experiences in their connections. This is the energy that draws people into you and compels them to do whatever they can to stay with you.

-Lilith in 12th: This points to being on a lot of people’s subconscious minds. Fulfilling a lot of fantasies with the neptunean themes of the house combined with Lilith’s ability to draw out the shadow side of people’s desires. This is also a house that keeps a lot of its energy hidden and tends to hide a lot of people’s reactions to the native, so this is a strong indicator of having secret admirers. Being the girl of their dreams but being relegated to their fantasies.

-Lilith opposition/square Asc: The tension here between the native’s ascendant and Lilith placement creates this energy that’s impactful, too hot to handle even. Many feel intimidated and exposed by your presence alone. You come off as someone that can’t control their own s*x appeal. Untamable in the truest sense, because you can’t even control the energy. When you try to downplay it, it leaks out and makes people suspicious, they assume you must be hiding something and they’re compelled to find out. When you embrace it, you become a force of nature. Like combustion sustained. Many want to compete with you and be the ones to subdue your energy. To be the ones to best you. But they can’t. Not even you can. And it can quickly drive others over the edge. (Sidenote: I feel like this is also the hardest Lilith energy to romanticize, with this placement self awareness becomes one of your most pertinent tools. If you are unaware of yourself this energy can set you in fire, make you outcast yourself or turn manipulative to others due to what you’ve gone through. If you are unaware of others, this can put you in danger because they react in the strongest of ways- instinctively they feel disgust or obsession towards you. It’s a harrowing energy to carry)

-Lilith in fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): This is just a theory of mine, but I’ve noticed that for fixed Lilith signs they often have to find balance to avoid getting obsessed with expressing or repressing their fixed Lilith energy. When others come into play, I feel as though they too get fixated. Fixated with how you present yourself when they know you, fixated on how your energy effects them, stuck on you/how they perceive you in general. This is strongest/most obsessive with Lilith in Scorpio imo.

-Lilith in water signs (cancer, scorpio, pisces): I’ve come to interpret Lilith in water signs as having this emotional/subconscious effect. It’s not as explosive as other elements, but it ends up being more permeating. Still waters run deep. The type of connection that leaves you either so emotionally affected or emotionally devastated that you feel it forever. This one never leaves you.

-Lilith in fire signs (aries, leo, sagittarius): Nearly the opposite as above, Lilith in fire signs is the effect of that spark- pure heat- and it rarely lasts, that’s the maddening part. If water signs impress upon your subconscious because they’re so emotionally permeating, then fire signs hit you with a huge burst of energy then you’re left chasing that high for ages. It’s the sultry woman you never see again, or the adventurer who ran off before you could tether yourself to them. It’s a burst of that heat and then it’s gone. Or you’re afraid it’ll leave you. The idea is devastating and then you’re even more hooked than you were before.

-Synastry that can kick off obsession:

-Lilith conjunct their sun/moon/asc: The feeling of meeting someone that illuminates this hidden side of you. Freeing but terrifying. Knowing someone that holds all of this power to draw out the unseen. And how this will play out tends to depend on the maturity of both parties. For Ascendant when it’s positive, the ascendant person feel empowered by the Lilith person to act and react from a place they were too afraid to before, like they could pursue what they desire without shame through this connection. The Lilith person will feel like they have room to take up space and express parts of their expression they couldn't before, they’ll feel more seen and understood. When it’s negative, the ascendant person will resent how the Lilith person expresses themselves, the Asc person will feel envious of the Lilith person’s up front nature and/or the Lilith person will embody traits they deeply resent but are attracted to. The ascendant person can become obsessed with traits the Lilith person has that repels and attracts them. For Sun, when it’s positive the Lilith person will illuminate the Sun person’s hidden drive, the things that motivate them to express their personality in a way that we’re afraid to before, and the Lilith person will feel lighter and brighter in the sun person’s presence and may become more forgiving/less ashamed of their own shadow side. When it’s negative, the sun person will resent the Lilith person’s drive and personality and the sun person will feel the need to compete with and shame the Lilith person. The Lilith person may feel exposed and will become resentful and belittling to the sun person. The sun person can become obsessed with outdoing the Lilith person and attracting more praise/attention than they do. For moon, when it’s positive the moon person can feel like an emotional freedom with the Lilith person, even if there’s an intensity there the moon person can reveal a side of their deepest selves that only really makes sense between them and the Lilith person. The Lilith person can feel nurtured and the rare chance to feel safe while being vulnerable, they’ll feel deeply emotionally at home with moon person. When it’s negative, the moon person can grow codependent and use the Lilith person as an emotional crutch for their shadow side/insecurities, they can feel like the Lilith person expressing themselves is a personal/emotional attack on the moon person and their vulnerabilities. The Lilith person can feel trapped, emotionally appeasing the moon person. The Lilith person can become manipulative and play on this hidden side of the moon person as well. Maybe the most unhealthy out of all of these when it’s an underdeveloped connection. The moon person can become controlling and obsessive over the emotional solace they feel for the Lilith person and they can easily become possessive.

-Lilith harsh aspects (square/opposition/conjunct) to their Venus: The Venus person never imagined they would fall for the Lilith person, the Lilith person is everything they’re ashamed to be romantically attracted to (some sort of taboo like race, age, social class, etc). The Lilith person has embodied temptation for the Venus person and now the Venus person is hooked, not that they’d ever admit it. The whole connection can have this taboo/forbidden feeling to it whether it’s scandalous or not. The Venus person often has some sort of conflict with who they pictured settling down with and who the Lilith person actually is. The Venus person tends to get obsessed when they can’t find that Lilith person in any other romantic options. They still may resist settling down but they’ll keep coming back. (Pro tip: don’t let them use you- but that’s just an -opinion-)

-Lilith harsh aspects to their Mars: Very similar to above but it’s more likely that the connection is more motivated by s*xual chemistry. The mars person clicks on a level of intimacy that they are unable to with almost anyone else with the Lilith person. The Lilith person can feel deeply desired by the mars person, in turn. The mars person will feel exposed by the darker sides of what they crave intimately being brought to light in their connection to the Lilith person. The mars person may feel especially challenged by the Lilith person, in terms of dominance/power/control. No matter the actual dynamics at hand, the mars person may never feel like they have enough control over the connection and this may make them more agitated/competitive with the Lilith person. The mars person can become obsessive over the strength of the connection and feeling powerless over it.

-Lilith harsh aspects to the Moon: Similar to the Venus and Mars aspects, this would have the most emotional motivation out of all of the connections. The Moon person would have an emotional side of themselves exposed by the Lilith person. If they’re the type to never get emotionally attached then suddenly they’re in their feelings about the Lilith person. If they’re trying not to do anything long term, then they’re considering a life with the Lilith person (the inverse could occur too, with Lilith’s tendency to attract scandal). The Lilith person would find their emotions and vulnerability challenged but may express some unseen side of themselves with the moon person. Could lead to a manipulative and codependent connection if both parties are underdeveloped. The moon person may become obsessive over how much depth they had in their connection with the Lilith person, especially if they can’t get that feeling again.

-Lilith squaring/opposing the angles (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th): The Lilith person will challenge the ways the house person lives and perceives the world/operates throughout their lives. Like how they interpret their experiences and perceive things (1st). How they consider their family and their home, and what feels like home (4th). Their attitudes and actions in relationships and partnerships (7th). How their public image is and what their reputation is, and their career and what it means to them (10th). The obsession usually comes from the “you can never go back to how things used to be” feeling that the Lilith person leaves the house person with. Could be expressed as resentment or being bewildered by this new way of seeing/experiencing things.

-Lilith conjunct their 8th house: The Lilith person can quite easily make the house person feel exposed. They can learn what digs deep at the house person and what triggers them. What darkness they’re hiding. What the house person is obsessed with. Easy aspect for a relationship/connection with a lot of power plays.

[lowkeyrobin]

mcyt with s/o that looks intimidating and has a resting b face? i always get told that i look like I'm angry about something or people think I'm gonna be a b*tch lmao 😞

LMAOOO FELT ; also sorry I didn't put handsome bros in here bc I genuinley couldn't think of any ideas for them for some reason I apologize

MCYT ; resting bitch face

includes ; nihachu, quackity, foolish gamers & slimecicle

warnings ; language

masterlist

NIKI NIHACHU

"you okay?"

you silently nod and she just kinda stares at you for a moment because obviously, resting bitch face

"oh, no, no, I'm fine, I swear" You lightly chuckle, removing a weight off her shoulders

she's always cautious because it's so hard to tell with you

like you look so intimidating, she's not trying to fuck around n find out

ALEX QUACKITY

bros been scared of you since day one

like he'll look over at you, looking like you're about to kill someone and try and joke with you and you'll actually laugh and it's so confusing

"please tell me if you're pissed or not before I make a horrible joke"

"give it to me"

"Okay, good"

sticks his hands up and jumps around like he's gonna fight you first LMFAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

"You aright...?"

constantly making sure that you're not actually angry or anything because you always look miserable

also play fights with you

he's in his twenties but acts like a teenager what do you expect

always jokes about it because he genuinley can never tell if you're just angry or if it's just the rbf

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

always has to confirm that it's just the rbf

sometimes he'll think you're upset when you're fine and get you a blanket and a snack and you'll be like "???"

and he'll be like "Oh sorry I thought you were upset"

you intimidate him a bit, especially in public situations

"do you wanna go?"

"No, I'm fine"

"are you like, sure?"

"yeah"

[starsval]

wonderland

remus lupin x reader

summary: you and remus find wonderland, or, you fall in love, even if it's not perfect.

word count: 7,7k

warnings: remus has a mullet because i said so, kissing, mentions of s*x lol, like, it happened, reader is pureblood so the cruciatus curse ig, punching, remus being mean, reader gets called a b*tch, lower case intended, no use of y/n

a/n: this took forever and i don't even think i like it, but still, thanks to @myriadmoons and @aastonishment for helping me writing this, love u<3

btw idk why i called this wonderland, it was originally called dancing with our hands tied but i didn't end up writing someone that fit, and for some reason there were lyrics of wonderland on the top of the document since i've been writing it so yeah

"how's my favourite girl doing?" sirius talks as he puts an arm over your shoulders, just as james takes the book out of your hands. 

"sirius black and james potter talking to me when we're not at a pureblood party? what's happening?"

"don't be mean, you know we love you" james replies, putting the book behind his back, so you wouldn't be able to get it even if sirius let you go. 

"we realised we rarely talk to you, which is sad because you're one of the only pureblood people we actually like" sirius then lets you go to play with your hair as he talks. 

"so, we wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing tonight, at the gryffindor common room" james says, but he quickly looks behind you and his friend. 

"you invite me to a party, so we can talk?" you ask, taking advantage of james' sudden distraction when regulus walks past to take your book back. 

"yes, we want to get to know you" sirius is the one who talks now, unaware of the reason his friend suddenly stopped talking

"okay, i'll see you there" you tell them, walking away. 

"what? really? was it that easy?" sirius asks, shocked. 

"yes, i'll see you there, bye" 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"they don't know that you always go to the parties?" lily asks as she puts on her earrings, looking on your mirror. 

"i tend to hide from them" you tell them from your bed. 

"why?" she questions, you shrug, unable to give her an answer.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"so, what's your type?" sirius finds you while you were choosing something to drink. 

"what?" you ask him, accepting the drink he recommends you. 

"what kind of person do you like, men, women, tall, short?"

"tall skinny men with messy mullets, when it looks like they'll break if you breathe too hard on them?" sirius' eyes seem to light up with your answer. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"she's just like you, she likes books and stuff, i swear you'll like her" sirius insists, following remus through the hall, heading to the library. 

"books and stuff? that's all you know about me?"

"i'm telling you i found your soulmate and you care about that?"

"yes."

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you were in the library, focused on your book when three people sat on your table. you look up to find sirius, james and who you know is called remus, maybe your eyes focus on the last one for a bit when sirius talks. 

"we need help" he says, pulling out a book. 

"what?" you ask, uninterested in anything they have to say. 

"we need help, you're like the smartest person we know" this time james is the one who talks. 

"and why would i help you?" 

"because you're a good person?" you don't change your expression "and we'll buy you chocolate the next time we go to hogsmeade"

"help with what?" this time, the boy that caught your eye talks. 

"we need to learn how to do this charm" he points to the book, and maybe you look at his hand before reading the words he's pointing to. you also notice how sirius and james smile when remus talks. 

"why would you need to know how to turn someone's clothes pink, permanently?" you ask, they all look at each other before looking at you. you sigh "why would i know how to do this?" 

"i'd quite fall in love with you if you did" sirius talks. "but you're smart, you'll be able to learn it" you start packing your things. "is that a yes?"

"what do i win?" you ask, already standing. 

"chocolate" you start to walk away, leaving the book there. "we'll give you alcohol at the next pureblood party" you smile before grabbing the book. 

"i'll tell you as soon as i get it"

they all hear you say goodbye to peter before he sits. 

"why did she talk to you?" james asks. 

"we're friends?" peter explains, getting started with his homework. 

"soooo… do you like her?" sirius asks remus, who just rolls his eyes before getting up. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time he sees you, you're walking to him, who's reading at the library. you put the book with the charm before him, and quickly sit besides him. 

"i know how to do the charm… " you wait for him to introduce himself. 

"remus, remus lupin" he answers, putting his book aside. 

"remus, right" you talk, like you didn't know his name before. 

you explain how to do it, and after he gets the theory right, all there's left to do is practise it. 

"i'll do one of his socks and you'll do the other one" you point at snape, who has glared at you since you've been here. 

"i didn't expect you to be like this" remus says, smiling, before slowly pulling out his wand. 

"what did you expect?" 

"i don't know, sirius and james don't usually talk about you"

"i wonder why" you smile, before quietly charming one of snape's socks, turning it bright pink. "your turn"

remus copies your actions, successfully turning snape's left sock pink. you look at each other, quietly laughing, and quickly pack your things so you can walk out before he notices. 

you walk next to him in the hallway, though neither of you know where you're going. 

"what do you need the charm for?" you ask him. 

"we're pranking someone" he explains. 

"should i be scared?" you question and he chuckles. 

"no, your clothes will be safe"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time you talk, he's the one who approaches you. 

"can i sit here?" he points at the chair next to you "i want to study but they're being to loud" you nod, and you talk as he sits. 

"why don't you do a silent charm on them?" he chuckles. 

"they'll find a way to be even louder" 

and that's how it starts, neither of you know why, but since then, we you enter the library, you immediately look for each other. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"you're the one who did that research on werewolves aren't you? teachers don't stop talking about how good it is" some guy asks you as he stands in front of you, the table in between you two. 

"yes" he was one of those pureblood guys, who only cared about their status. 

"you didn't talk about them being bad people" you stare at him, trying to find out why he's telling you that. "i just thought you'd like someone to tell you about your mistake"

"it's not a mistake, they aren't bad people" you tell him. 

"well, then you're wrong, they're obviously bad" he rolls his eyes, like it's obvious that he's right. 

"did you just come here to talk shit about werewolves?" you focus on your homework, mentally aiming in case you have to throw something at him. 

"no, i came here to see if you were a respectable pureblood, but let me guess, you fight for elves' rights too?" he seems upset with you, but he doesn't leave, instead, he looks at you like a challenge. 

"what, you want me to join your cause too and fight for arseholes' rights? maybe we should put your face on the banner so they know how one looks" you smile sarcastically at him. 

"what is wrong with you? i just wanted to let you know that werewolves are bad and you're being a bitch" he seems actually upset, his superior grin gone now. 

"oh, so you were looking out for me? what would I do without people minding my business? now just shut up and maybe look into your prejudices instead of my life" you stop looking at him. 

"how can you think that they aren't bad? i thought you were smart" now he seems offended that you aren't like he imagined, but maybe he thinks that he can change you, because he smiles again. 

"sorry to disappoint you. and, something can be dangerous but good at the same time, just because they have claws doesn't mean they'd stab you, but maybe a girl who’s been bothered by you will" you say, as his eyes go to the pen on your hands.

“did you just threaten me?” he has the audacity to look offended as he talks.

“i don’t know, did i? a bitch like me wouldn’t know” you smile, faking innocence.

"you’re fucking crazy” he mutters as he turns around.

when he leaves -not before insulting you again-, neither of you notice a certain tall guy, with scars on his face and a knitted sweater standing around a bookcase, listening to all the conversation.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know how, but james and sirius convinced you to hang out with the marauders, maybe the mention of some boy with honey eyes and a mullet, but still. you find yourself on the gryffindor common room, listening to them as they tell you about their best pranks.

and remus must’ve sensed that you’re cold, because the next thing you know is that hes handing you his sweater.

“what?” you ask him

"you're cold" he shrugs. 

"but, what about you?" you question, not taking the sweater. 

"i'm fine, just put in on love" you obey, thanking him before looking back at james and peter, acting as you're not noticing sirius' smile. 

when you finally get up to go back to your room, while peter, james and sirius are too distracted talking to frank, you take of the sweater and hand it to remus. 

"what?" he asks, frowning. 

"it's yours" 

"you can give it to me other day"

"but i won't need it"

"love, just let me have an excuse to talk to you" he tells you, and you stop for a moment before answering, not believing him. 

"you don't need an excuse to talk to me" he smiles. 

"keep it anyway" 

"if you insist" he kisses your cheek goodbye, and that night you're only thinking about him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"please just this once" james asks, and it looks like he's actually going to beg you to help them. 

"i don't have time for pranks" you walk away, and the four marauders immediately follow you. 

"you just need to distract him" sirius talks, walking to stand in front of you. 

"and why would i do that?" you ask, going around him. 

"because you appreciate our friendship?" this time is peter who talks, and you actually think about it for a second. 

"i don't-" before you can finish, remus intervenes. 

"love, just this once, okay? then we won't bother you" and you know it's not true, that they will bother you. but every doubt you had disappeared as soon as he talked. so you nod. 

"where is he?" 

and that's how you find yourself talking to binns, asking him about his class, solving questions you never had. 

then you see remus walking towards you, looking so innocent, and you keep nodding at binns, like you're so interested in what he's saying. 

when he turns around due to the sound of an explosion that you definitely had no idea about, remus walks next to you, grabbing your hand, and suddenly you're running down the hallway next to him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus’ face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching as you giggle.

“why are we hiding?” you ask, a smile not leaving your face and his hand not letting go of yours.

“because, certain friends of ours are bothering me" he closes his eyes, his forehead on yours as he talks. 

"what if they're not bothering me?" you joke, sarcasm in your tone. 

"oh, so you're saying I dragged you into this cupboard?" he pulls away, his hand on his chest as he acts offended. 

"yes, i didn't expect this behaviour from you, lupin" he rolls his eyes at the mention of his last name, as you laugh. 

"then leave" he challenges, but his hand doesn't let go of yours. 

"ok" you say, but you don't move.

when you walk out of the cupboard, both of you hear people talking. 

"do you think they're dating?"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you're just peacefully lying on your bed, reading a book remus had lent you when someone opens your door. you assume it's one of your roommates when that someone approaches you, grabs the book from your hands, and turns you so you're on your back. just to lie on top of you. 

"hi" you say, not sure what to do when he puts his head on your chest and closes his eyes. 

"hi love" he replies. and after a while he lifts his head, grabs your hand and puts it on his hair. 

"what are you doing?" you question him. 

"touch my hair" he demands, and you don't, just to mess with him. 

"what if i don't want to?" you smile, and he groans. 

then, when he notices that you're being serious, he puts his head up once again, this time to glare at you. 

he repeats his actions and puts your hand on his hair, and closes his eyes again. 

"don't move"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"what did you do?" you ask remus as he sits in your bed. 

"they were talking shit" he says as you go to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit you keep in there. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit?" you stand in front of him, in between his legs. 

he doesn't answer, instead, he winces when you start cleaning his face. 

"remus?" you insist, waiting for an answer 

"yes?" he acts oblivious, though it doesn't last much, as you start cleaning his face again, you mutter a quiet sorry before talking again. 

"why the fuck did you get into a fight?"

"they were talking sh-" you glare at him. 

"lupin"

"last name basis?" he tries to smile at you, but you turn his face to the side so you can look at the bruise forming on his cheek. 

"yes, answer" he sighs before talking. 

"i told you, they were talking shit" you keep glaring at him until he talks again "they were talking shit about you"

you stop moving for a second, processing the information. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit about me?"

"yes" he stares at you, waiting for a reaction. 

"are you fucking stupid?"

"maybe that wasn't the reaction i expected" he mutters to himself. 

"you are actually stupid" you don't talk again, you just focus on cleaning his face, which means he has a lot of time to talk. 

"what did you want me to do? i just couldn't stand there as he was saying how you were a bitch and shit like that" he groans when you don't answer "i warned them, i said that if they didn't stop i'd punch them"

"oh, you warned them, how nice" you reply, sarcastically. 

"don't be mad at me, please" he wraps his arms around your legs, and puts his head on your stomach. 

"what do you want me to do?" you put your hand on his hair. 

"i don't care, just don't be mad at me"

"oh, so i should just congratulate you? thank you so much remus for defending me, should i kiss you to show my gratitude?" 

"you could kiss me, not because of that, but you could" you don't even acknowledge him as you walk to the bathroom to throw away everything you used to clean his face. 

when you come back, he's in front of you, touching your cheek as he talks. 

"you're not gonna say anything?" he asks, as you try your best to not look away from his eyes. 

"about what?" he chuckles, but doesn't move his hand away from your face. 

"about the fact that i said that you could kiss me" you fail your goal, because your eyes immediately go to his lips. and of course, he notices. 

"what do you want me to say?" you ask, rolling your eyes at his smirk. 

"i think the question is what i want you to do"

"you just got into a fight" you remind him. 

"just because you're mad doesn't mean you can't kiss me"

"i know"

and you really know, so you kiss him. and it starts as a sweet kiss, slow, just to prove that it's real. but then one of his hands goes to the back of your neck and the other cups your jaw. 

your hands go to the back of his neck, finding balance when he pulls you closer to him.

you pull away for a second, breathing heavily as you look at each other's eyes. 

"we shouldn't do this" you remind him. 

"i know" he says, slowly walking so you have to walk back. 

"i'm still mad at you" you tell him, sitting in your bed, looking up at him. 

"i got into a fight because of you and you say that?" he smirks, pushing you so you have no choice but to lie down. 

one of his knees rests in between your legs, his hands on both sides of your head. your hands go to the back of his neck again. 

"you wound me" he tells you, before kissing your neck. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you had plans today, it was friday and you had no classes after lunch, so you were gonna start getting ready and maybe drinking with the girls before going to the party the gryffindor were hosting. 

but those plans got a bit ruined when you got a letter from your family during lunch, which usually meant bad news. 

you don't really remember a lot from the letter, all you know is that you had two choices: marrying barty or getting disowned. 

after reading the letter, all you can do is put it in your pocket and try to stop the tears coming from your eyes. you don't even look at your friends or at the food that remus put on your plate. instead, you think about the words you just read. 

"i have to go" you suddenly get up, grab your things and walk away, not noticing the concerned looks on your friends faces, especially on remus'. 

they all stare at you as you walk out the great hall.

you find an empty hall and sit in one of the windows, finally letting out the tears. you don't long how long you stay like that, but suddenly someone walks next to you. 

"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay" all you notice are the tears running down your face, and remus' arms around you. as he holds you and tells you that everything is fine. 

once you calm down, he waits a bit to ask

"what happened? do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, and you don't even look at him, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes. 

"no, it's okay" he seems disappointed with your answer, but doesn't stop rubbing your back "thank you" 

"it's nothing" he tries to find something to say, something to comfort you, but before he can even think of anything, you get up. 

"you're going to the party, right?" you look at him, drying your tears. 

"are you gonna go?" he asks, frowning. 

"yes" he seems a bit surprised, because now you're smiling. 

"then yes" you smile even more at his answer. 

"i'll see you there" you give him a quick peck on his cheek before walking away. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time remus sees you, you're dancing, lily and marlene next to you.

he stands away for a bit, not in the mood to dance, but when he sees you're gonna refill your cup for the fifth time since he has been there. he decides to approach you. 

"hi" he says, standing next to you.

"hi remus" you smile at him, drinking from your now full cup. 

"how many of those have you had?" he asks. 

"i don't know, seven, maybe eight? who cares" you tell him, holding his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, but he quickly redirects you to one of the sofas. 

"i do, you're gonna pass out if you keep drinking" he says as he tries to get the cup from your hand, but you quickly move your hand away and frown. 

"i'll be okay"

"no you won't"

"i'm not even that drunk"

"you saw sirius and called him reggie" you smile, remembering the horrified look in sirius' eyes. 

"they look alike" you shrug.

"you should stop drinking"

"i'll be okay" he tries to reply, tries to tell you that maybe you won't, but you get up, and before he can even stand up, you get lost among the people. 

the next time he sees you, you're on the couch, head in your hands as you try to stop the tears from your eyes. 

remus sits next to you. a hand on you back as he leans to see your face. 

"are you drunk?" you nod "do you want to go to sleep" you nod, so he gets up and holds your hand, making your way through the crowd. 

once you reach the hall, he doesn't let go of your hand. he notices that something's wrong, he notices that you haven't complained to sirius about being in a pureblood family, like you do each time you receive a letter from them. he notices that you're trying not to cry. he notices that you're barely holding his hand, maybe it's because you're drunk or you're too sad to. 

and he wants to say something, he wants to help. but he decides to wait until you're in your room. he helps you get your makeup off and change into your pjs. he's folding your clothes while you're sitting on the side of your bed when he hears smalls sobs. 

he immediately sits next to you, drying your tears. 

"it's okay, everything will be alright" he hugs you, mentally cursing when you shake your head. 

"you don't get it" you tell him, in between sobs. 

"then explain it to me" he says, wondering if it's the same thing as what happened at lunch. 

"i can't" you sigh, pulling away from him as you dry your tears. 

"yes you can, i want to help you" his hands go to your face, holding you. 

"you can't-" you insist, putting your hands over his. 

"please let me help"

"remus-"

"i don't care if it's hard, i want to help" he insists, staring at your eyes. 

"let's sleep" he knows better than to insist more, so he just lets you sleep. 

when you wake up, you don't talk, you just walk with him to breakfast, and when you're finished, you walk away, not letting him know where you're going. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"i don't know what's happening in between us, but-" you look away from his eyes "i can't do this"

"what?" he asks, praying that he's dreaming, or that it's a bad joke, praying that you're not breaking up with him, even if you're not together. 

"what did i do? what happened?" he tries to find your gaze. 

"you didn't do anything, i just can't" i have to marry someone else. 

"let me fix it, whatever i did, let me fix it, you can hate me but don't go away" 

"i'll probably leave school as soon as i can" you admit, you don't even know why, you just don't want to disappear without explanations. 

"what? no, you can't leave" he panics, he looks around trying to find someone laughing at him. he doesn't. 

"i'm sorry" you talk, unable to look at his eyes. 

"don't, please, don't apologise" he says, grabbing your hands, in case you want to run away. 

"i'm so sorry" you repeat. 

"you don't have to do that" he insists, because he doesn't want to lose you. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you tell him, thinking about the letter your parents just sent you, thinking about your future, which is already decided, not by the stars, but by your family. 

"then stay, stay here, with me" he pulls your hands, so your bodies are closer. 

"you know i can't" you lament, even though he doesn't know that much. 

"yes you can, you just have to try" he suddenly lets your hands go, taking a step away from you. and you try to get mad at him, but you can't, not when he's looking that hurt, hurt by you. 

"remus-" you try to get him to listen, maybe if he gives you a chance, you'll show the letter to him, you'll explain everything to him. how you have no choice but to listen to your parents. 

"are you even sorry? you don't seem to have tried to stay" you know he doesn't mean it, he knows he doesn't mean it. but it's better that way, it'll be easier if he's mad at you. so you don't answer. you just stare at him.

"you're not gonna answer?" he asks, tears on the corner of both of your eyes. "i thought you liked me" you swear you can feel your heart break as the words leave his mouth. 

"i do-" he cuts you off. 

"then why don't you stay? is it just a game to you? you wanted to play with me?" he keeps talking, he tries to stop, he wants to, but the hurt in his heart makes him keep going. 

"i didn't, remus, it's not that easy" you tell him, begging him to understand. 

"i never said i wanted things to be easy. especially not with you" he fights the urge to walk away, thinking that maybe there's a chance that you'll change your mind. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you repeat, maybe more to remind you than to him. 

"you're already hurting me" 

"you have to understand"

"when you defended werewolves from that guy you already knew i was one didn't you? maybe he was right and you're a bitch after all, did you tell him that just to shag me?" he doesn't even blink as he talks, pretending he's not mad at himself right now, even more than with you. 

"you don't mean that" you say as the tears fall from your eyes. 

"oh, i do" that's what it takes for him to finally walk away, letting the tears out of his eyes. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you couldn't focus, it was all too much. the pain from the unforgivable curse, the sadness from your own family doing that, the realisation that you could never go back to your house. 

all you could do is try to not pass out as you walk to the potter's mansion. 

once you reach their door, and ring it, you wait. you don't know if it was ten seconds, ten minutes or even ten hours. all you know is that when james opens the door, you practically throw yourself at him, who catches you as he calls for his parents. 

"i'm sorry" you whisper in between sobs. 

"it's okay, you'll be okay, everything's going to be fine" james tries to not show the concern on his voice, he really tries, but everyone must've sense it, because remus, sirius and peter quickly appear, staring at you as effie kneels down next to you. 

when you finally pass out, all you know is that it hurts, everything hurts. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you wake up with effie folding clothes next to you. 

"oh hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" she immediately sits next to you, touching your forehead to check your temperature. 

"good" you answer, quietly. 

"you have clothes here, you can take a shower and i'll make dinner" she walks to the door as you sit up. 

"effie, thank you so much, you don't have to do this, i'll be okay"

"we'll talk later" she doesn't give you room to talk, instead, she leaves after giving you a smile. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

effie and fleamont sit in front of you as you eat, staring at you and then at each other.

"we want you to stay here" fleamont is the first to talk as soon as you finish eating. 

"what? no, i can't, i'll find somewhere to stay"

"no, you'll stay here, we have your room ready" effie insists. 

"i can't" 

"sweetie, there's no way to stop this now, the faster you accept it the better" fleamont talks as effie gets up and tells you to follow her to show you your room. 

they leave you a moment to see your room before walking in. 

"thank you so much" you say before they hug you, drying your tears before they fall on your face. 

"it's okay honey, you'll be fine" they assure you before walking out of the room. "and, by the way, the boys are sleeping, we'll tell them to come here when they wake up, they're really worried"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

he thinks it's unfair, remus thinks that it's unfair that you're talking to peter like nothing happened, that you're playing quidditch with james and sirius like you weren't crying in his arms just a few weeks ago. he thinks it's unfair that you haven't even glanced at him. he thinks it's unfair that you look like nothing ever happened, he hates that you're acting like everything it's okay, like you're not hurt by your family, by his words.

he also thinks he's being selfish, by slightly hoping that you're as hurt as him. that you think of him as much as he thinks of you. he hopes that you also have the urge to go to his room in the middle of the night. he hopes that you're as jealous as he is when someone starts flirting with you at the party james organised at his house. 

but he also thinks that none of it it's possible, that you look way too happy to be thinking of him, that if you're planning on getting drunk, you definitely don't want his help. 

he doesn't know if it was between staring at you as you flirted back with that guy, or when he was searching for you while you were nowhere to be found. but he gets drunk.

and suddenly, all the doubts he had about you disappear, because you're next to him, rubbing his back and asking him if he's drunk. and you wouldn't help him if you hated him would you?. 

he just stares at you as you hold his hand and make your way through the crowd, not so kindly pushing people who didn't move. you help him through the barrier james magically applied on the stairs so no one but his friends could walk upstairs. 

when you reach his room, you help him walk to his bed, which is kinda difficult seeing his stumbling tall figure. once he is in the safety of his mattress, you walk to the door, but his voice stops you. 

"i can't sleep with my shirt on" when you turn around, he's smirking. 

"then take it off" you turn your back to him again. 

"i need help" when you turn around, not before rolling your eyes, he's giving you puppy eyes. 

remus lupin. is. giving. you. puppy eyes. 

"you aren't that drunk" you don't even move from the door. 

"yes i am. you're really gonna leave me here, drunk and defenceless?" he lies back on his bed. 

"are you trying to blackmail me?" you frown, leaning your back onto his closed door. 

"is it working?" he asks, hoping it does. 

"no" he sighs, before leaning on his elbows to look at you. 

"c'mon love, just help me take my shirt off" you don't answer, instead, you just get closer to him, and help him sit up, once he is, he doesn't move, he just looks up at you. 

"you're not gonna put your arms up?" you groan, frustrated, when he just smiles at you. 

after a few minutes of work, due to his boycott, you finally take his shirt off, throwing it aside before walking away. 

or that's what you try, because before you can even turn around, his arms are around you. and you don't know how he's so strong, or why you didn't try to fight back more, maybe it was the alcohol. but before you notice it. you're on the bed next to him, and he's hugging you so tight that you have no choice but to fall asleep. 

when you wake up he's still hugging you, luckily not as strong as last night, so you can get up and slowly walk to the door, quietly closing it and making the way to your room. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus is almost convinced that it was a dream, he thinks he imagined everything when he wakes up and you're not there, he thinks it was his mind tricking him when you sit next to marlene at breakfast. even though he purposely left the sit next to him free. 

he's basically drowning in his tea when marlene says something that makes him look at you. 

"where were you last night? you left soon" he stares at you, noticing the way your eyes linger at him for a moment before saying that you were tired. and it would be childish for him to admit that it made him happy, that he doesn't even notice the hangover now, that he's smiling so much that even effie asked him about it. 

and it would be even more childish to admit that he's been giving james the idea to throw another party just before holidays end, that he doesn't need to invite anyone, just the group of friends it's okay. and who is james to say no to a party?. 

he spends more time that he wants to admit staring at you. as you talk to lily and mary, as you almost make sirius drop his drink, as you hug james. and especially, as you ignore him. so he does what he knows will make you talk to him, getting drunk. 

it follows the same order as the other night. you approach him, lead him upstairs and help him get ready to bed. 

"why did you leave?" he asks, holding your wrist after you tried to walk to the door. he sees how you think about the answer. and to be honest, he didn't think he was ready to hear it. 

"because that's what a bitch would do" you break free from his grip and walk to the door. he just stays there as you go back downstairs. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next morning, no one knows why remus looks so miserable, why he's being so grumpy to everyone, except you. why he's putting food on your plate, why he's making everyone put on the movie you want to see. 

they also don't know why you're ignoring him, why you offered the plate to james, why you changed your mind and told marlene to decide what movie to watch. 

but you knew, you knew because you've been listening to him apologise every other minute, you've been listening to him knocking on your door every night. you've been reading his apology letters. 

but that wasn't enough, because just two days before classes start again, he decides that he's had enough, and that he won't leave before giving you a proper apology. so he follows you to the kitchen when everyone is focused on the movie. and he stands on your way to the door so you have no choice but to listen. 

"i didn't mean it, and you know that, you know i'd never think that. and i know it's not an excuse, but it was days before a full moon, and i wanted to hate you, i wanted to hate you for making me love you and then leaving me. and i wanted you to hate me because i wouldn't be able to be around you. and i'm so sorry, i'll do anything to take it back, i need you to understand that i didn't mean it, and that i'm so sorry i ever made you feel bad. there's no day i haven't thought about you, about how much i miss you, about how i ruined everything. so please, give me a second chance, i'll apologise every minute if i have to, i'll do anything for you to forgive me. because i don't think i can stand the thought of what we could've had if i hadn't ruined everything." he takes a deep breath "i'm so so so sorry"

and you know that you shouldn’t, that he’s hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. but you’re both teenagers, you both make mistakes, and you both miss each other. so you do what everyone would’ve done in this situation, and hug him, breathing him in.

“does that mean you forgive me?” he asks.

“yes, i’m sorry” you close your eyes, your head in his chest.

“you have nothing to apologise for, love”

“yes i do-” he cuts you off by pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“let’s just go to sleep”

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know why james drags you from the kitchen, where you were talking with everyone, to your room, with the suitcase half done on the floor. you don’t know why he slams the door. or why he’s staring at you like you told him you forbade quidditch.

but then he talks.

“did you forgive him?”

and you remember the conversation you had with him after spending a few nights here.

“weren’t you two in love?” you’re on his bed, still not used to your new room, you’re both laying on your backs, him throwing his snitch and catching it.

“who?” you ask, staring at the ceiling.

“remus” he says it like it’s obvious, and it actually is.

“i don’t know” you shrug. 

“what happened?” he asks. 

“i ruined everything” you explain. 

“that’s not true” he frowns. 

“how do you know that?” you chuckle. 

“you wouldn’t ruin anything” he says, so sincere. 

“i was supposed to marry barty” the snitch falls and hits his face.

“what?!” he immediately sits up. 

“so i told him i couldn’t do whatever we were doing" 

"and he just accepted it?" he's frowning even more. 

"he was sad at first, then mad, but he stopped talking to me, so it worked" you shrug again, and he gets closer to you. 

"mad?" 

"it's okay"

"i know how remus gets when he gets mad, did he say something to you?" he looks worried, already thinking about punching remus. 

"nothing to bad, the normal when the person you're in love with and it's in love with you dumps you for no reason" 

"what's the normal?" he questions. 

"james, it's okay"

and with that beautiful flashback, you come back to an angry james in front of you. 

"don't dare to move, i'll talk to you later, let me have a chat with remus first" he tries to get out of the room, but you stop him. 

"james wait" 

“stop trying to defend him, and don’t try to walk away, you won’t move until you tell me everything” he stands in front of you, arms crossed. 

"james let me explain" 

"you want to talk? talk, i'm not leaving until i know everything" he sounds determined, and you know that he won't stop until he knows everything. 

"there's nothing to know, just leave it" you insist. 

"what did he say to you?" he takes at step, so he's closer to you. 

"james-"

"what did he say to you?"

"james, stop"

"now, i won't stop until you tell me what the fuck he told you, and why you're together with him after that"

"because it doesn't matter, it's already over"

"it doesn't matter?! you're saying it doesn't fucking matter? after weeks of seeing you miserable, and because of him?" he pinchs the bridge of his nose. "honestly, if you're not going to tell me what he told you, then don't even bother talking"

he tries to walk away, again, but you stand in front of the door. 

"what's the point? i already forgave him, so, what are you going to do, make me leave him?" you question him, praying that he doesn't actually say yes. 

"you don't know what i'm willing to do for you happiness" he tries to walk past you, but you don't move. 

"please don't be mad at me" 

"then tell me what he said to you" his eyes soften, looking at yours. 

"why? what are you going to do about it?" 

"it depends" he avoids your gaze. 

"james."

"maybe punch him" he looks away. 

"james" 

"please tell me what he said" he asks, this time softer. 

and you don't know why, maybe it's the look on his eyes, or the fact that you know he wouldn't let it go until you did. but you say everything to him, from how you approached him, how you were both almost crying, how he walked away. 

and it takes him a moment to react, he's sitting in your bed, and you immediately get up to stand in front of him. 

"james…" he gets up. 

"i need to have a chat with remus" he tries to walk past you, but you don't let him. 

"james."

"what?"

"please, just, stay here with me. you can help me pack" you give him your best puppy eyes until he agrees, sitting on the floor next to you, passing you clothes as you put them in your suitcase.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

and it all looked perfect. it seemed like james had already forgotten everything by the time dinner is ready. and it seems like he's really happy when he suggests to watch a movie. 

but then something changes. maybe it was remus' hand on your tight, or the fight scene on the movie. but the next thing you know, is that there's a fist right in remus' face. and that fist belongs to james. 

"you said you wouldn't do anything!" you immediately get up, putting yourself in front of remus, while sirius and marlene pull james back. 

"i had to!" he says. 

"james!" you fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

"i'm sorry! but i couldn't help it! i had to do something about it!" he explains. 

"about what?" lily asks, and you stiffen, looking at james with wary eyes. 

"yes, about what?" james asks you, and you glare at him as mary and peter take care of remus' face. 

"about nothing" you immediately say, backing up as they all stare at you. 

and they're complaining about it as soon as you say it, but remus stops them. 

"about me hurting her" no one knows how to react, you just stare at him as he stretches his neck. 

"you fucking hurt her?" lily talks, walking towards him, and it seemed like she had the intention of repeating james' actions. so you step in front of her. 

"it's all forgotten, there's no reason to punch anyone" you stare at james "especially when you promised you wouldn't"

"i'm sorry-" he tries to apologise. 

"it's okay, i deserved it" remus talks. 

"no you didn't?" you tell him, but he just smiles at you. 

"i'm going to sleep"

you all stare at him as he walks upstairs, and when you turn around they're all staring at you. 

"if i forgave him, you can do it too" you say, especially looking at james. "so, i hope you apologise to him, because he deserves it"

when you get to remus' room, he's looking at himself in the mirror. 

"i'm sorry" you sneak in front of him, hugging him as you put your head in his chest. 

"why" he chuckles, hugging you back. 

"what do you mean why, are you stupid?" you questions him. 

"love, it's not your fault" he smiles as you narrow your eyes at him. "i deserved it" 

"shut up" you immediately pull away from him, storming out of the bathroom. 

he grabs your wrist before you can walk out of the room, and as soon as he gets it his arms are around you. 

"don't be mad at me" he pleads, and when you don't answer, his lips go to your cheek. "please" 

when you don't answer he just keeps kissing you. 

"please"

this time is your other cheek. 

"cmon love"

your forehead. 

"just talk to me"

your nose. 

"please"

your lips

"love" 

your neck. 

and you know that he'll start going lower if you don't stop him. and you know that if he does you won't be mad anymore. so you pull away from him. 

"you're stupid, remus lupin" you glare at him "if you ever say that you deserve any hurt ever again i'll be the one punching you instead of james. and i'll also cry" 

"why would you cry?" he genuinely asks, putting one of his hands on your cheek. 

"because you don't deserve anything bad remus. you're literally an angel" 

"don't say that" you frown at him, and he looks away. 

"remus, i mean it"

"i know" he puts his forehead on yours "that's why i don't want you to say it"

"why?"

"because it's gonna make me love you even more"

before you can answer, he's kissing you again, this time for real, when he pulls away, he stares at you. 

"i know everyone already says that we're dating, but can we make it official?" his hands are on your cheeks, and he thinks that he's never been more nervous in his life. 

"i'd love to" this time, you're the one who kisses him, and you stay like that for a while, in each other's arms. before someone knocks on the door. 

when you open, you find james on the other side, with regret in his eyes. 

"can i talk to remus?" you narrow your eyes at him as remus appears behind you. 

"it's alright love" 

you go to the living room with everyone, and before you know it, james and remus are walking in, talking and laughing. 

everyone stares at them as they get closer to the couch. 

"what?" they ask, staring back at you. 

"everything's… fine?" lily asks, and when they both smile and nod, everyone smiles and cheers, a bit exaggerated. 

remus sits next to you, putting and arm around you and kissing you. 

and if before they were dramatic, now it's like their favourite team won the quidditch world cup.

"what?" this time remus and you ask, staring at them. 

"you just kissed?" mary says, not believing it. 

"yeah?" you answer. 

"why" marlene asks, narrowing her eyes. 

"we're dating" remus says, and the night ends between cheers, screams and hugs. 

sirius and james even cry a bit, hugging each other while saying "finally!" "we did it!" 

[sandorsubs]

i am destroying the "dr self" concept

"if your self worth and happiness depends on something other than you, that means you are dependent on them. and that thing can manipulate you. you cannot be free, you remain as a puppet."

i guess this is "law of dependence" or something like that (since i translated i am not sure). but did something click in your mind too?

"live as your dr self" they say. are you still perceiving your dr self as someone else? there is no other world out there. there is no other you out there. your dr self doesn't exist.

they are all in you. possibilities comes from you. that's what they mean by saying you are the creator of your life. that's why it feels wrong to be dependent on something other than yourself.

oh you can't wait to be your dr self? you gave that b*tch life. you'll always be higher than your "dr self" if you think about for a second. you made the decision, you created it, you chose it. they are from you, not from external world.

let's elaborate dependence thing

sometimes we feel dependent on having an object, achieving something, being popular or praised by people. "my life will start after this" "only if i glow up..." "this will change everything for me" but is there an end?

"then should i stop wanting?" no, you don't have to. we can't just casually stop wanting things. it's okay, our desires are valid. they are just in the wrong place: center of our lives.

i'll come back to dr self concept but for now let's think about void state. ohh have your dream life. manifest your desires. key to everything you want wowww. "only if i achieve it...my life will turn around" my happinesses, self worth, even self love, confidence depends on "achieving void state". then i like the posts say "i am void". sorry if this is too harsh but you still see void state as something external. if it's achievable it's external. if you acknowledge it's yours/comes from you it's internal.

but since you create your own reality, aren't external things also yours? yes but since they are external we have hard time to believe they are in our control. imagine you own a grocery store but you forget you own it. so you'll still try to buy the products. maybe even stress about not having enough money. it may take more time.

also perceiving our desires as external and depending on them for fulfilment can manipulate us by planting negative and doubtful thoughts in our minds:

i am not successful to have that

i can't do it

i am not good enough

it's impossible

it's too hard for me

i should try harder

you have a concept of your dr self: higher than you, better than you, external and waiting for to be shifted in. you keep chasing it, trying to achieve it.

but do you know those mythical creatures that disguise as your loved ones to approach you? they try to deceive you, they make you follow them by promising stuff. i think the dr self concept is just like this. if it's a fantasy for you, you'll follow it around. that doesn't mean you won't get there, you will eventually. but it may take more time and just like mythical creature, that "idea" will feed from your energy and effort.

you search for something, walking around in the world only to come back to the same spot you start the search. but you don't realize it has been always there. you still think you were able find it because you travelled around the world.

your dr self is you. because they are created by you. void state is created by you. external world is created by you. "oh so everyone is god huh?" everyone is god because when they want something they create a reality where it exists and shifts there. people do this unconsciously (ironic lol) all the time. someone else manifests you but you don't want them. they'll shift to a reality where you want them.

there is no original reality or dr self. you left "originals" long ago, if they ever existed. so we can't really miss anything, huh? (double meaning boom haha)

(btw i don't shame people who use the word "dr self". this post is for people who think their dr selves are higher than them and some unreachable perfect characters)

[wooahaes]

before i know it, the me of today hopes for the you of tomorrow

pairing: non-idol!wonwoo x fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: ~0.7k

warnings: one mention that pins down readers birthday as being a summer birthday. but mostly its just sappy, loving wonwoo.

daisy’s notes: he is boyfie shaped fr........ i will b thinking abt him forever

Wonwoo had a soft spot for the nights where you fell asleep in his lap while he was gaming.

Most of the time, it was because you hated going to bed alone unless you had to. You’d always been the more openly affectionate one in your relationship, and you’d told him outright one day (long after moving in together) that it felt weird to not fall asleep snuggled up close to him. So you’d come into the living room to where he was playing online with his friends on a game system rather than his PC, and you’d lay your head in his lap and watch... until you inevitably fell asleep every single time. He’d asked about it once, and you did have to confess that you didn’t intend to fall asleep. You just wanted to stay close with him until he was done, but the sound of his breathing was calming (even if the occasional things he said weren’t), and usually you ended up dozing off by accident.

Tonight was no different. He had his headset on, controller in hand, and your head using his lap as a pillow. Seungcheol was saying something about his plans to get in and play later this week when Wonwoo starting keeping an eye on the time. The clock ticked over to midnight, and he let out a quiet sigh as he waited for Seungcheol to finish speaking. The moment he did, he spoke up and said he was going to get off for the night.

“I‘ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he started to disconnect.

Only to hear Seungcheol’s quiet ‘tch.’ “We all know you took off today for her. You don’t have to hide it.”

Wonwoo smiled to himself. “That’s why I said I’d see you tomorrow.” Before he bid his farewell and disconnected from the game.

It was only light teasing, and it left him with a lovestruck smile on his face as he looked down at you. He reached out, fingers grazing the side of your face for a moment before he turned off the console. He’d plug in his controller in a few minutes. For now, he was going to admire you for a little longer...

Only for you to stir, finally looking up at him after glancing back at the TV. “You’re done?” Then you sat up, stifling a small yawn. “You didn’t play long...”

“That’s okay,” he said, reaching for the remote. He clicked the TV off, before turning to you. “I’m all yours for the next twenty-four hours.”

The way your brows had drawn together in slight confusion only made him smile. Being able to vex your brain and surprise you like this always made him happy, and maybe he had taken advantage of your sleepy state to be able to do it. He nodded toward the clock, and watched as you put the puzzle pieces together mentally before realization struck.

“Wonwoo--”

He had already slid a little closer to you, pulling you in for a soft kiss. “Happy birthday, my love,” he said as he leaned back, casually dropping the term of endearment just to see you smile. “Whatever you want to do today, I’ll do it.”

You didn’t have plans. Wonwoo knew you didn’t have plans, too. But the fact that he had cleared everything today in order to give you his full attention was sweet, considering he knew that you were used to people being too busy (or on vacation--the pains of a summer birthday) around your birthday. And of course it would be Wonwoo who knew that and found a way to say, without saying it, that he was there for you. That he’d always find time for you.

Maybe the sentiment would make you cry later... but for now you just leaned in to kiss him one more time before going to bed. The two of you could figure out plans when you woke up later. For now, you just wanted to cuddle with him and think vaguely about how you would spend the day with your beloved.

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @wonuziex​ @synthetickitsune​ @cinnamoroxie​

[laur1221]

Why you are that b*tch

Please select a pile below:

- Pile 1

- Pile 2

- Pile 3

* feedback, reblog, and likes are always appreciated

Pictures are not mine!

Pile one:

Cards:the star, justice, queen of swords

I can tell y’all are the type prepared to fight for what y’all want. Very fiery!! I get the feeling y’all have a sharp tongue. The way you communicate is very magnetic and enthralling. Y’all are very enigmatic! With the star, I feel y’all shine in the darkness and your presence draws people in. Y’all find power in your emotions and channel them for manifestation and swaying people your way. Something however I recommend is to learn to balance your emotions, so it doesn’t become out of control like a forest fire. 🖤

Pile two:

Cards: The lovers, the world, king of coins, reversed 8 of swords

Y’all are grounded and very very balanced! Earthy Taurus energy and super light and airy energy. Y’all are so romantic 💕. A little flirty but balanced as to not get into conflict. Commitment is something that stood out to me. When you love you love deep and have complete loyalty to those loves. However I can see your avoidance to conflict can put you into sticky situations when you refuse to look at the negatives. Maybe start doing some shadow work to grow into your power. I envision pink and flowery rose gardens as your energy. Y’all definitely have that romantic Hollywood golden glam but with a pink twist kind of look to you!! Y’all are so peaceful in your aura. I felt so at ease while reading for y’all! 🤍

Pile three:

Cards: 2 of cups, 5 of wands, page of cups, the emperor

My highly intuitive pile! Y’all are such dreamers (ethereal vibes). I keep seeing images of stars and blue lights while reading for y’all. Y’all are committed to caring for yourself and your abundance. You all work so hard to reach your dreams successfully . Which is so incredible! 😁 please take rest though. I see a lot of people can be rather envious of the power your energy holds and how it helps you manifest your abundance. So others try to get close to you to receive their own abundance by taking your energy. You may be aware of this and already protect yourself. Don’t get caught up in what others have to say about you (as to not victimize yourself). They are just envious! Balance your ego so you can invite people into your life because there are people who will match your incredible energy! 🖤

[youatemylollipop]

Hello! Headcanons and scenarios for Mikey with a s/o that is not a touchy/affectionate person please? Like she doesn’t mind affection, but it has to be her who initiates first. I’d also like to add that she might seem cold and distant (maybe even haughty) but is actually very sweet and sensitive. Doesn’t like to fight and does not accept people overstepping her boundaries.

She accepts the fact that he’s a gang leader, but is a pacifist at heart and only accepts violence when it is required. Does not want to be involved in his gang issues, like participating in their fights and such. Can be rather distant and prefers to be alone most of the time. Does not enjoy hanging out in larger groups and prefers to be in smaller, if not with only one person. Is blunt and does not filter her words. Is a bit childish and can look pretty air-headed, but is actually really smart and is good at reading people.

She’s really picky with whom she interacts with and is because of this viewed as a bitch by many guys in her school. Like they find her attractive and would want to date her, but are afraid that she’ll reject them and will because of this insult her and call her names. She doesn’t react nor care. She is still very picky but has self esteem issues and can sometimes have very unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’d also like to add that she has a very unhealthy relationship with her mom, and has also poor eating habits because her mom kind of forced her to keep a good figure.

It’s just that I’ve been going through a lot recently and this person kinda represents me in some way. I guess that what I want is some kind of comfort with my comfort character, who is Mikey. I understand if this is to much and you don’t have to answer. Have a good day!

A/N: I’m sorry to hear that you've been going through a tough time, but I'm glad that you have a comfort character in Mikey. ☺️ I'd be happy to provide some headcanons and scenarios for Mikey with a significant other who is not touchy/affectionate and has some complex issues.

Ft: Sano Manjirō (Tokyo Revengers).

Sano Manjirō

➵ Mikey understands and respects his significant other's boundaries when it comes to affection. He is a perceptive person and is able to pick up on subtle cues from her to know when she is comfortable with physical contact. He doesn't push her to be more affectionate than she wants to be and is patient in waiting for her to initiate.

➵ When they are alone together, Mikey likes to show his affection through small gestures like cooking for her or bringing her favorite snacks. He knows that she prefers to be alone most of the time, but he wants to make sure that she knows he cares about her and is there for her when she needs him.

➵ Mikey also understands his significant other's pacifist nature and does not pressure her to get involved in his gang issues. He knows that violence is not something that she enjoys or is comfortable with, and he respects her decision to stay out of it.

➵ Despite her cold and distant demeanor, Mikey is able to see through his significant other's tough exterior and knows that she is actually very sweet and sensitive. He appreciates her honesty and bluntness, and he enjoys spending time with her even if she prefers smaller groups.

➵ He’s supportive of his significant other's self-esteem issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms. The gang leader encourages her to seek help if she needs it and is always there to listen to her when she needs to talk.

➵ He is aware of his significant other's strained relationship with her mother and tries to be a source of comfort for her. He understands that family issues can be difficult to navigate and he wants to make sure that she knows she is not alone.

➵ Mikey is protective of his significant other and does not tolerate anyone disrespecting her. He knows that she is viewed as a b*tch by some guys at school, but he doesn't let their words affect her. He reminds her that she is strong and capable, and he is always there to defend her if she needs it.

It was a hot summer day in Tokyo when Mikey decided to pay his girlfriend a surprise visit. He had noticed that she had been distant lately. Mikey, being the leader of the Tokyo Manji Gang, had a lot on his plate, but he still made time to visit her.

As he walked up to her apartment, he could hear her voice coming from inside, she was on the phone with someone. He stopped outside the door and listened for a moment, but he couldn't hear much. Finally, he knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.

When she opened the door, he could see that she had been crying. Her eyes were red, and her cheeks were stained with tears. He frowned and asked her what was wrong.

She tried to put on a brave face, but he could tell she was struggling. "Nothing, it's nothing," she said, but her voice was trembling.

Mikey stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He looked around the apartment, noticing that it was tidy and well-organized, as usual. "What's going on, [Name]-chin?" he asked again, more firmly this time.

She sighed and sat down on the couch, and Mikey sat down next to her. "It's just... my mom," she said, looking down at her hands.

Mikey knew that she had a problematic relationship with her mother, but he didn't know the details. He waited for her to continue.

"She’s been making me feel... small, I guess," she said, still not looking at him. "She keeps telling me that I'm not good enough, that I need to lose weight, that I need to dress differently... and I know it's stupid, but... I just can't help feeling like she’s right. Like I'm not good enough for you, or for anyone."

Mikey's heart sank. He had never seen her like this before. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, trying to comfort her. "Hey, hey," he said softly. "You're perfect the way you are. You don't need to change for anyone. And you're definitely good enough for me."

She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder, letting out a small sob. "I know, I know," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But it's hard... you know? When someone you love doesn't think you're good enough..."

Mikey held her close and rubbed her back soothingly. "I understand," he said, his voice gentle. "But you have to remember that you're not defined by what other people think of you. You're your own person, and you're amazing just the way you are. And I love you for who you are, not for what you look like or how much you weigh."

She sniffled and looked up at him, her eyes red and puffy. "You really mean that?" She asked, her voice small.

"Of course I do," he said, giving her a small smile. "I love you, [Name]-chin. And I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

She smiled back at him, her eyes still watery. "Thank you," she said, sniffling again. "I'm sorry for being so distant lately. I just... didn't want to burden you with my problems."

Mikey shook his head. "You're never a burden, [Name]-chin. I want to help you through this. Whatever you need, just tell me."

She leaned in and kissed him softly, her hands on his chest. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love you.”

[cod-dump]

So I don't have anyone to talk about my CoD OCs. I have two, Sunny a 5'5" trans man and a former Combat medic and his best friend and partner in crime Vamp a 6'3" recon specialist. Sunny got his nickname because his Unit called him their little ball of sunshine. Vamp claims he got his nickname because of his inhuman proficiency with a knife and would be covered in blood more often then not after a successful mission. in reality it's because of incident involving a late night cranberry drink run gone bad in which some new guys startled him covering him in red juice making him looking a bit monstrous. every holiday/birthday Sunny gifts him novelty juice packs that look like blood bags, because how else do you feed the vampire? a major side effect that it has started the rumor that Vamp is an actual vampire and Sunny is his handler in company's they've worked with in the past. is it that good or bad? who knows, it makes them memorable at least.

Sunny left the military due to his father getting ill and his mother needed someone to help run the florist shop and given that his sibling's jobs are "actual life long careers", according to his mom, he finishes out the end of his contract and goes home accepting his fate. However Vamp one day shows up to the shop and is like, "hey b!tch! Guess who's gone into the private sector and wants to take your ass with them?" Basically kidnaps him because Sunny deserves to do be doing something he wants to do not what his family expects of him. So they kind of bounce between company to company mostly doing temp work.

Over time they've added new skills to their resumes like Sunny gets good at undercover work using his florist background to send hidden messages. Vamp learns coding and gains a particular knack at making EMPs with limited resources.on the field Sunny is confident and can command a room and is unusually strong being able to carry people two or three times his weight off the battle field. out of the field he is a stuttering shy mess who gets embarrassed easily. even then he always makes sure to greet everyone with a smile even when he's freaking out.

Vamp on the field is cold and calculating. he moves fast and prefers close combat in the dark. off the field he's light hearted, cracking jokes, and giving shit to people he considers close especially Sunny. Vamp is also a bit of a nerd but don't call him that he takes great offense to that.

I'd like to think that Sunny's friendly demeanor and much smaller size would make him at least approachable to Moose, but I'm pretty sure Moose would also come off as intimidating to the shorter man, especially if he finds out that moose is one of the favorite children in shadow company without knowing why, if Sunny has learned anything from jumping from company to company is that you don't mess with the favorite. not that he'd want to mess with Moose he just wouldn't want to risk miscommunication, something he sadly excels at when out of the field.

I think if Moose met Vamp on the battlefield he'd stay away from the man, but if Sunny and Vamp got hired on as temp contractors to shadow company. Vamp would try and talk to him especially since he always wants to learn from any of the tech specialist's in each company they work with. Sorry this ran rather long.

- 🌻 🦇

Moose has had some bad experiences with mercenaries who are temporarily brought into Shadow Company’s ranks so he tries to keep his distance. Whether or not he comes around depends on what the other Shadows have to say about them.

Moose is normally very work oriented on the field (and usually very far away from active combat). Graves places him somewhere with a team of Shadows and Moose won’t move unless Graves tells him to. But, if possible, Graves won’t have Moose on the field at all and he would be support from a much safer and controlled location.

Off the field and not during a mission, if Vamp approaches him to ask him about tech, Moose may agree to show him some things depending on what the other Shadows have said about him. Same goes for Sunny on whether Moose approaches him or lets himself be approached.

The whole vampire rumor would definitely take off in Shadow Company considering they love shit like that, and next thing you know Vamp is being addressed as “Count Fang” in a email. Moose didn’t actually mean to send it with that name and now he’s dying because he’s embarrassed and partially terrified of what Vamp would do. All the other Shadows are laughing their asses off and Moose is just losing his mind over how he addressed the guy who is very good at stabbing.

[natequarter]

potential flaws of an english spelling reform:

the biggest problem is dialects. not only does english have a shit ton of dialects, it has multiple prestige dialects. this isn't necessarily a problem for reforming inconsistent consonants, but rather for those goddamn vowels

think about all those splits and mergers! mary-marry-merry. trap-bath. strut-foot. etc. you fundamentally cannot reform english without making it either a) dialectical b) wrong for 90%+ of speakers or c) a dysfunctional mess, which is pointless because english is already that

specific sound changes like yod coalescence and rhotic (or tapped) r can pose a big problem as well. even though we don't pronounce r in all dialects, we generally note it down: warm, car, etc. how do you reform spelling for both rhotic and non-rhotic accents? and yod coalescence. nobody ever brings this up, because rhotic r affects american english (and some british accents, though some have different r sounds entirely) and yod coalescence affects british english, and most youtubers making spelling reforms are american in my experience, but many english people don't pronounce, say, due/new/tune like americans do: /j/ comes in so that due is a homophone of jew in british english, which it may not be in american english. if you reform new to be spelt as noo, then that fails to reflect the pronunciation of new as /njuː/. but i digress

frankly, a lot of spelling reforms are just ugly. please stop

some parts of english do currently reflect the etymology of words. it's a lot harder to see the relationship between oblige and obligation if one is spelt eblàij and the other is spelt obligàshen

people really like getting rid of the letter c and using k/q instead. why? what do k and q do that c can't? get rid of the digraph qu, get rid of k, use c to represent /k/ and use s for /s/ and z for /z/. k and q are rubbish letters

bringing back or finding new letters isn't necessarily useful. yeah, sure, you can revive þ, but is there a need? we already have p/b/d, which all look very similar. adding the thorn in is just confusing, and the digraph th doesn't need a reform. it would be cool to differentiate voiceless and voiced dental fricatives, but a) ð is the superior letter, and b) th literally works fine. nobody is complaining about this except conlangers! th, ch, and sh are all valid digraphs; all you need to do to fix them is eliminate tch, make th/ch/sh have consistent sound values (e.g. spell chandelier as shandelier), and the problem is solved

overall, there is often a desire to eliminate or introduce letters perceived as 'useful' or 'useless,' but the letters people want to introduce might be confusing to people who are dyslexic or don't recognise it, or the letter people want to remove is... literally fine, and could easily be solved with an accent or two

nobody ever accounts for stress patterns. english has very inconsistent stress patterns, but we could fix this by sticking an accent over stressed letters like in spanish. let's say circumflexes, because circumflexes are cool. attâck. rêquisite. insîstent. ôrange. refûte. obviously these are random examples, but you can easily clear up the issue of stress in this way

some spellings reflect grammar, not pronunciation. this is a bit like the problem of etymology: we spell the endings -ing and -ed to make them regular. -ed isn't necessarily pronounced as it's spelt; it usually ends up sounding more like a /t/ or a /d/. but we spell it like that to make constructing the past tense easier. of course, you could always reform it to -t or -d. then you could have words like laughd, or screamd. but people don't tend to think about that

people need to be able to learn your system! any orthography which becomes transformed or, god forbid, a different script, is going to be impossible to implement. we have too much literature in our current spelling. it would be expensive and unpopular. any change must be something within our limits

ultimately, i think the only plausible spelling reforms are of english's consonants/stress patterns. vowels are just too variable, but we could probably standardise some of those godforsaken silent consonants, irregular stress patterns, or inconsistently spelt consonants without fracturing england as we know it or just scaring the shit out of our audience. reform isn't impossible. it just isn't operable in the way many people want.

[stargirlie25]

Ok scrolling through acotar tiktok KILLS ME. Its not the og tiktok with cool edits of ships that you prefer its just pure toxic hate.

Like me, you might have noticed there are few and few Gwynriel/elucien content then Elriel content. I don´t believe it is because they dont ship these ships anymore i think its because they are tired.

When i was neutral (about a year ago) on the ships wars, i would CONSTANTLY see Elriels being so confident about their ship and how acosf pointed to an elriel endgame. I had not read acosf by then and when i did+ the bc i didn´t hate elriel i just started to love Gwynriel.

Sometimes sarah likes to put positive factors on a ship, like something beautiful without there having to be a whole theory. Because sarah does not expect her readers to be theorists. She wants them to laugh,cry,giggle,scream. etc. So when she was writing the BC which according to elriels are not important she probably wanted us to look at Gwyn and Azriel and consider her obvious wording and differences between elriel and gwynriel. According to elriels the BC isnt important and does nothing to contribute into plots,but also it introduces Gwyns lightsinger powers? Whatever that is not even my point right now. My point is, at first glance at the BC everybody should be more positive towards Gwynriel. SJM put out a free bonus chapter. Why should something heavy like a characters powers be in there? Its supposed to be a light hearted thing. Im just tired of Elriels saying we are delusional or our ship is a crackship.

I never hated Elriel before. All the anti elriel stuff i have mentioned is everything i was already aware of before ´´hating´´ elain and az together. I was still neutral even with all those negavtives.

Its the fandom that made me turn around and choose Gwynriel. I noticed Gwynriel and Elucien content was much more surrounding pro content for their ship and cute headcanons,cannons,edits,fanarts etc. It rarely EVER mentioned anti Elriel information. Except the elriel content then and now, all revolves around Gwynriel and Elucien. Instead of promoting their ship, they have to tear down our ships and say we are crazy.

It was like: Elriel vs Gwynriel and it said that gwynriel was fanon and elriel was canon. Thats´ just false but i understand i cant change that which i dont mind but why scream about it to my face? I saw people bullying Gwyn and saying she was faking her trauma,lured in hyberns men or was evil for the sake to uplift elriel/elain. I saw people bully emerie too calling her a crippled fake illyrian and how it was stupid for emerie to win the blood rite against her cousin. Or how somehow emerie was a b*tch and does not deserve to be a valkyrie+ nesta and gwyn. I saw people make edits to uplift Elain and hate Gwyn. I witnessed people dismissing Luciens trauma and comparing him to his father. I saw people say he faked the bond to protect tamlin or what not. I saw people make up theories for Clotho saying she was odd because she said she was going to give Gwyn the necklace but probably didnt....

That was my last straw. So yes naturally i did in fact shift to the Gwynriel/elucien side. It was easier. Instead of the bullies i saw cute videos of ´´Azriel and Gwyn singing´´ or ´´Elain and lucien picking flowers´´ it was all just so lighthearted and beautiful.

Although i think the fandom for G/A and E/L decreased because they are tired. Because i was tired too. I did not even want to enter acotar tiktok because i knew we would all be bashed for it. Dont get me wrong i find myself sometimes leaving comments on Elriel videos. Not the ones with a cute edit or fanart the ones the share false information or something i disagree with. I only hope for a civil talk and next thing i know, there is a whole gang of elriels trying to push their narrative on me without listening.

Honestly the ship wars have always existed but before Elucien was the calmer side. Although sadly they got roped into the mess of the G/A vs, A/E wars. WIthout a doubt on every single Elucien video, elriels never miss a step. It would be a cute video like a fanart of them and they will start being like ´´ElAinS So UNComFOrtabLE aROUnd hiM´ like you guys ask us why we ship elucien when mentioning this but its like you dont even want an answer you just want to disagree. We tell you and you flat out ignore it.

As much as i love Gwynriel/Elucien i cant help but miss the days were reading ACOTAR was for all the characters. When it was just to see my favorites like Nesta. When i just desperately wanted to get to the iconic epic scenes.

I know if e/riel was confirmed, Elriels would firstly shove it in Eluciens and gwynriels faces and then maybe celebrate the characters.

I know Gwynriels/eluciens would too and i honestly want to see none of that. Yes i do believe we are getting Gwynriel/Elucien but i would not want to make people feel bad for their ship. They by all means can still love elriel. So many people like feylin,nesris,Aelin x chaol,aelin x dorain, and obviously aelin x sam (my endgame if rowan never existed) dramoine,klaroline,stelena,stiles x malia, Jelly,Bellarke,clexa,Rory x those 4 other guys etc etc.

Main point, Can we all just do better? Yes i am talking about elriels for my sake and lots of others peoples sakes but to everyone PLEASE.

I know that wont work though even if i say it because im only one human hahah

What im going to say is we should tag all our posts to our preferred ship and probably always put anti to the ship we dont like. That way everything is divided and less toxic. Also i will be tagging nothing to do with ship wars because i want everyone to see haha but please be nice!

This is just my experience btw im sure Elriels have has their fair treatment of toxic Gwynriels/Eluciens

[cosmicjoke]

most of those ppl are white supremacists who project on erwin a lot and want levi to be his little b*tch. through shippers and redditors, this holds true.

I don't know what they are, really, other than egotistical. I'm not going to accuse them of anything deeper than simply ignoring actual canon to advance their agenda, whether that be shipping or something else, like wanting to see themselves in the story, etc... People's need to relate is always rooted in this sort of basic bias. They want characters to look or act or think like them. Otherwise, they aren't able to sympathize or empathize with them. So that is a kind of projection, and narcissism. This desire and even seeming need to make Levi or Erwin gay, for example, when we know at least with Erwin, canonically, that he's attracted to women, and with Levi, we have no indication one way or the other as to his sexuality, is a manifestation of that. It's one thing to write them as a couple in fanfiction. There's nothing wrong with it. I've written two stories now where I have Levi as a gay man. It's fun to explore those things. But it's something else entirely not to be able to separate that out from actual canon and just simply accept the fact that Levi's sexuality, and Erwin's too, are completely irrelevant to the story and to their roles within the story. Just because your sexual identity is the most important thing to you doesn't mean it's the most important thing to everything and everyone else, and you shouldn't go looking to see yourself represented or reflected in every piece of media and literature. When you do that, it completely obscures your ability to accurately interpret what's going on, and you become illiterate. It also feeds a kind of trend that's, frankly, ruining a lot of entertainment these days, and even how people treat each other in the real world. Why the hell can't we sympathize with a character that isn't like us? Why do they have to be what we are in order for us to care about them? Why do we have to see ourselves in everything? As if we ourselves are the most important and special person in the world, and everything and everyone should change in order to accomodate us and reflect us, including the media we consume. It's really egregiously without compassion for anyone but ourselves. Just the characters being human should be enough of a starting point for us find some common ground.

Basically, these people are just selfish, self-centered assholes that need to get over the fact that not everything is about them.

[thenightling]

When "Karen" is appropriated by "Old school" fanboys

More and more I'm noticing "Karen" being used agaisnt women with strong opinions. Not the racist white woman who calls the cops on a black man, but on women who know their comic book lore.

A few years ago I had joined a Sandman discussion group on Facebook (before I created one of my own). And some male fans started to call me Karen. I was even responded to with the "Triggered" meme when I explained something that was misunderstood by the OP on a post. What was my crime? Casually correcting a misunderstanding in the story. At one point someone asked what the "Night Walkers" were that Hob Gadling off-handedly mentioned about killing Jack Constantine in the Men of Good Fortune story. I said, they were likely vampires. The kindest response I got was "Amanda knows her stuff. Too bad she's a know-it-all-b-tch." I didn't actually leave that group until a post I made about a song that reminded me of Cain and the House of Mystery was taken down for being "off topic." I literally posted it because it reminded me of Cain and the House of Mystery as depicted in The Sandman. But for me that was the last straw. Now, the season (possibly series) finale of Loki was a few days ago. And without spoiling how it ends I've seen many comments to the effect of "So what? It's a multiverse. That means there are other Lokis." I find this reaction very telling because it suggests to me that for these people the concept of the multiverse isn't some long established comicbook lore or scientific probability in theoretical physics. For them it's new and it means "This character has a spare version ready to go." The multiverse is not a new idea. Even the 1966 soap opera Dark Shadows addressed it but called it "Parallel Time" instead of alternate timeline or alternate universe. But it was explained the exact same way. I finally reacted with "Why does it matter if it's a multiverse? That still happened to the version of Loki the fans got attached to." And i explained that reacting that way to the idea of the multiverse is kind of a tell that you aren't a long-term fan of these stories. This earned a (typically male, it's almost never a woman) fan calling me a "Karen." And it's not just me. I've seen this happen a LOT to women who are into fantasy / scifi / horror / comics who know their lore. If they correct someone or explain something, there's always some cis het male fan ready to shoot them down and silence them with the shaming of calling them "Karen." There are certain people now using "Karen" as a means to silence women in traditionally male dominated fandom circles and I am very frustrated when I witness it. I can deal with it when it's done to me but when I see it to excited fan girls who suddenly became meek and ashamed and less talkative about the thing they like, that's when it bothers me.

[jess-moloney]

Things have gone way too far. Jess stans are horrible and attack innocent people for no reason. They are too busy living in their little perfect fantasy world that they can't see anything else. They are unable to accept reality nor find evidence for their claims. Then they just keep denying things and not giving any good answers, that's just sad. I feel sorry for Jamie that some people in his fandom are unbalanced, crazy people who forget his humanity.

And that "conversation" was a horrible read. I was like WTF she said one thing and then next thing basically denied everything she just said. She just made herself look like an idiot. I hope all of this will be over as soon as possible and Jamie gets rid of that b*tch.

And I agree no one should ever get bullied. Bullying is always wrong and I hope her stans would realize it too.

Btw you are doing great work, so keep it up :).

The conversations with these people (or this person still not sure they aren't just the same person on two accounts) are something like:

Them: Jess was always nice to me Me: So you know Jess personally? Them: I never said that why are you putting words in my mouth Me: Because you said Jess was always nice to you which is like saying you know her? Them: I do know her she's a great person and you're so mean!

The most recent conversation I had with this person they claimed to know Jamie and Jess personally. Then I asked if they hung out with them and stuff and they said no they didn't hang out with them and I'm like what are you talking about? Then they go on to say that they are friends with Jess and Jamie through a mutual friend and that people talk to Jamie about them when they see him at conventions (as if that means anything). I told them they aren't friends with Jamie because they paid for a photo op with him but then they said they never paid for pictures with him and I said so you hang out with him and they said no.

I don't know what this person (or people) has going on in their head that makes them like this but it's really not helping their argument or making the stans look good right now. Though I think they all know they can't defend what Jess does so they don't try. If they want to keep looking like clowns it's not hurting me any so I say let them.

[theadventureofniel]

Don't Be A Self-Entitled B*tch

People always have a sense of entitlement at various levels. So in order for you to save yourself the heartache of being unappreciated, keep in mind that all the work and service you do can always be done by another. You are easily replaceable; anyone can take your place at any given time.

Others are never obligated to say thank you or do any act of gratitude. It is never required and you don't deserve it just because you did something good. People can always survive without you. They can move on and they can always find something to do to pass the time. Humans are built to seek convenience and pleasure and they'll always find a way to enjoy themselves.

So in everything you do, don't take it personally when you're work isn't appreciated, because most of the time people rarely appreciate other people because they have they're own problems to deal with.

When you're doing work or service, change your mentality to: "Being able to work or provide service to others is a privilege and not your right"

Not all people have the capability to do what you're doing because some have disabilities, don't have the capacity, the resources, the intelligence, the insight, the education, and most are probably dead.

Don't treat your work or service as a way to gain a sense of entitlement where others must submit to your will because you did something good for them or that others must help you for the greater good that you're doing to the world. Reality check: "People don't give a f*ck unless what you're doing stirs their self-interest".

You have to somehow detach yourself from the disappointment that others give you every day. Don't take things personally and whine because you're tired, pressured, burned out, all because people won't help you. Ask for help if you need help because people generally don't give a f*ck about other's situations unless they ask for help. Don't feel that you're entitled to be helped by others because you're struggling or you're poor. Oh, honey, you're being a stuck up self-entitled b*tch. People are not obliged to help you because you think that you're a good person, or you're nice, or you're cute, pretty, oh dear, you're being delusional.

Help yourself. And when you're doing work or service, you should be the one to say to others, "I'm happy to be of service to you." Or you're glad to be able to have the capacity to provide help through your work or service. If people appreciate what you do, or say thank you, then great. If not, it's no problem. The world doesn't revolve around them and it definitely doesn't revolve around you so stop and appreciate life in general both the good and the bad because it's the total human experience.

If you think you're stuck in your life, not moving, it's probably because you don't invest in knowledge because all you do is watch Tiktok videos all day or the such. You're lazy and you think you'll live forever to enjoy life. Maybe try to read nonfiction books and you might gain some knowledge.

I don't think anyone will ever read this but I hope you're doing okay. It's gonna be okay. Life sucks but we just got to keep living it and accept both the good and the bad. Hang in there.