#they also had a HELL of a time speculating about the sexualities of people who were not publicly out!!!!!

[starbuck]

i don’t understand people who get sick pleasure from recounting tragedies, i really don’t

[matan4il]

Update post:

Rockets from Gaza continue to be fired at Israel. The 7 days where there was a break in the fighting, were clearly used by Hamas to re-build their abilities to fire into Israel, because the rocket attacks since the fighting has resumed are more intense than they were in the days before the break started. The rockets from Gaza were joined today by rockets from Hezbollah in Lebanon, and from Syria. Among other consequences we've seen on this day, at least 12 Israelis were injured by this rocket fire, and a synagogue was hit.

As the testimonies about the rapes and sexual assaults committed by Hamas continue to mount, in the last two days, we got confirmation that men were victimized by Hamas, too. The voices decrying the rapes as crimes against humanity are starting to be heard as well. The fact that it took people two months to get there, and some (*cough* the UN Women's organization *cough*) still issued what can barely be called a pale statement on the subject. When taken with how long it took them to speak, it really is not enough. But some voices are actually surprising. The Guardian is notoriously anti-Israel, to the point where its own Jewish worker has written about not feeling safe there. But now they've published an op ed that said exactly what needed to be said: rape is rape. And looking away from rape, for whatever reason, is wrong. And here's another testimony from a piece by The Sunday Times:

People are speculating on why Hamas won't release the last of the women that are known to be alive and in captivity in Gaza, despite that being a breach of the hostage deal, and a red line for Israel. A common hypothesis is that these women must have been raped and abused so badly, Hamas doesn't want to release them. IDK if this is true, but then, I'm not just writing about what Israelis know for sure. I'm mainly writing about what Israelis are going through, the torment of not knowing, the fear of the darkest possibilities that come up when the unknown looms over us, and this hypothesis is a part of it.

The IDF says it has destroyed 500 terror tunnels in Gaza since the fighting began, and 800 tunnel shafts. It has also published the names of Hamas leaders, and called on them to surrender. This is a reminder that Hamas could stop all the fighting, and save many Palestinians, by surrendering immediately, and returning all the hostages that it's still holding.

This is Yaron Avraham.

He was born to an Israeli Arab family in Lod. When he was 9 years old, his beloved older sister was murdered in front of his eyes by his older brothers, for having returned home late (i.e, for supposedly being promiscuous). He was incredibly distraught, since he was so attached to her, and to get him out of the way, he was sent by his brothers to study at an extremist mosque in Gaza. He recounted that he was there for 5.5 years, during which the boys were indoctrinated to hate Jews, and think little of their own lives. As a climax exercise, they were "buried" alive in a real grave, in a real cemetery, while their classmates held their funeral above them. Yaron Avraham said it took him years to heal from this experience. Another incident that he shared, is that once, two of his classmates were accused of being sexually active together (he didn't believe the accusation, and thought they were being made an example of). The two boys were beheaded in front of their classmates. Yaron gave them hell at the mosque, until they sent him back to his family. His brothers then had him study instead in another extremist mosque, this time in the village of Yatta. After another 1.5 years there, he ran away, and ended up living on the streets of Lod, a mixed Israeli city. He was taken in by a Jewish man, who fed and took care of him, and gave him proper education. After a couple of years, Yaron chose to volunteer, to serve in the IDF. His unit was sent to Gaza, and he ended up outside the mosque where he was abused. He wanted to go in and kill everyone there, but his Jewish commander stopped him. "You don't understand," he tried to explain the antisemitic brainwashing that happened inside that mosque, but his commander insisted that killing everyone inside goes against our values. Yaron said that this was the beginning of his journey to convert to Judaism, when he saw how instead of sanctifying death, Jews sanctify life. Everyone's life. Even their enemies'.

Yaron has retold his story numerous times, my summary here is based on several of his interviews, written and filmed. But something that got to me about a recent one, that he gave after Oct 7, is that he was asked about the occupation as the excuse anti-Israelis give for Hamas' brutal violence. Yaron said that it was never mentioned! That in the 7 years he spent in those two mosques, no one ever talked to them about the occupation. That it was always clear this was a religious fight. The problem was the evil character of the Jews. That is the mentality of Hamas terrorists. That is the antisemitic brainwashing that they undergo. That's why they can rape, maim, torture and murder without a second thought, even though they surely know this would not liberate any Palestinian.

The Iran-funded Houthis terrorists attacked two ships today, both supposedly for being Israeli. The less severely damaged ship has one shareholder who's an Israeli businessman. The more severely damaged one has nothing to do with Israel, it's believed the Houthis might have misidentified it. Officially, the Houthis say they are in a war against Israel and the US.

This is 21 years old Keshet Kasrotti.

He was murdered at the Nova music festival, one of over 360 young people slaughtered there. His mom said that her one comfort, is that he was shot in the chest, so he died quickly. His suffering didn't last as long as it did for some. She also shared that many Israelis, upon hearing her son's first name (it means 'rainbow' in Hebrew) sent her this short poem by Neria Yaakov:

"I am breaking / said the light / and became a rainbow."

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

B'traxia's Hive King Mating Guide for the Recently Transformed!

Gonna go ahead and lay down a large chunk of the first chapter of the fic that I'll be posting for this year's TentaTodd week because I'm excited as hell about it and have like zero patience lol

Summary: Tim finds what he thinks is porn with an emphasis on speculative biology in Jason's apartment, but it turns out the only speculative part is Jason's speculation about whether or not Tim will want to actually for realsies mate with him.

(It's very much playing off of my analysis of Brothers In Blood, which may explain a lot)

(Also if you saw the several sentances sunday thing: this is an extended and much more explicit version of that!)

Normally Tim would pretend to know better than to go snooping through Jason's stuff, especially when a storm had forced him to crash at one of his safehouses unannounced, but c'mon, these are only the bookshelves! What did Jason have them for if not to display the books?? Perfectly reasonable to take a look through the different spines, pull a few out enough to see the covers, maybe actually read one. After all there was no reason to suspect there'd be anything to hide such as-

B'traxia's Hive King Mating Guide for the Recently Transformed!

The cover features a lavish illustration of an alien with a roughly 'centaur' configuration of limbs. It's got a set of massive spikes for front legs that look great for digging and cleaving people in two, and a pair of cat like, pawed, digidigrade back legs. The spine and joints are armor plated, while the soft belly is lined with octopus arms of wildly varying sizes.

The alien is also proudly presenting his three MASSIVE PHALLUSES for the audience.

Tim sputters and laughs, opening the book up and flipping through it lazily.

The quality is ridiculously good overall. It's hand bound, full color, lavishly illustrated with diagrams and charts and cultural notes and- it's honestly hilariously Jason in nature now that he thinks about it. Like, of course, Jason with his snobby love of all things hand crafted would masturbate to some niche fetish shit in a weird format full of way too much worldbuilding. It's probably bespoke too; Tim would lay good money that Jason commissioned the artist himself.

Tim flips back to the first page and starts reading.

Congratulations on your successful chrysalis hatching, my new brethren! Whether you got here by choice or circumstance, this guide is designed to help you understand the most important topic for your new biology and psychology: sex! For most species, sex is merely one activity among many. Most adults spend most of their time on other things, such as making objects or completing economic tasks. The internal impulses of such adults account for a wide variety of needs. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, these are all different sensations because the adult is expected to do different things in order to sate them. This is not so for Hive Kings like us! The primary way a Hive King interacts with the world is through his hive beast workers. His biology does not expect him to labor or travel or do anything other than have sex with his brooders, impregnating them with the hundreds of workers who serve him! When a Hive King's blood sugar levels lower, he does not feel anything. Instead it is his workers which feel a desire to feed him. What happens then, when the Hive King does not have enough workers to keep himself fed? He starts craving sex! Breeding makes more workers and workers are how the Hive King eats! Nearly all desires and cravings are sublimated in this way. Either they are passed to the workers who then fulfill the Hive King's wishes adequately, or they go unsated and are converted into potent breeding lust. Thus sexual desire becomes the primary lens through which the Hive King experiences his own needs and wants. This is especially important information for Hive Kings who choose to remain alone or in very small hives. If you want to go this route, I recommend you carefully track and record your own sexual cravings to ensure that you're getting your needs met. Specific kinks may be signs of specific needs. For instance, Kyalgn from Sector 17 reports that thirst often manifests as desires to swallow his partners whole or have them urinate in his mouth. Note that all of the above merely adds to the already elevated sexual drive of Hive Kings. The deep craving for constant, fertile breeding sex is usually the first instinctual effect of the transformation that a Hive King notices.

Tim is... honestly getting into it a bit. He's got one hell of a thing for breeding, so sue him, and while he's not so much into being the alien, he's enjoying the thought of someone truly insatiable trying to knock him up over and over again despite not being the same species.

It is a bit too wordy for his tastes though. Tim skips passed a frankly obscene amount of detailed anatomical and biochemical analysis in order to get to the good stuff already.

The Hive King first wraps the brooder's body in his tentacles and engages in foreplay. If he can coax at least one orgasm out of the Brooder before the breeding process begins, that is ideal. Happy, relaxed, pleasured Brooders are safer Brooders who bear healthier children. Then the Hive King will carefully fill up the Brooder's cunt with his ovipositor, thrusting shallowly until he reaches the cervix. His dilating hooks will then latch on to the cervix, injecting the brooder with aphrodisic-anesthetic-hypermobilitic chemicals, and begin stretching the Brooder open so that they can receive his eggs. Upon achieving enough dilation for his eggs to fit safely, the ovipositor will thrust a few inches deeper and the Hive King will experience ovipositional orgasm as his body pumps his eggs into his mate's womb. Depending on the size of the eggs and the size of his Brooder mate, this process can take anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours and the orgasm will last until the last egg is inside and his ovipositor unhooks from their cervix. Once all the eggs are safely inside, it's important to move on to the second phase of sex as soon as possible. Remember: the longer the eggs spend unfertilized, the more risky the pregnancy becomes. Next, using his cocks, the Hive King must thrust into his mate's pussy again with both penises, ideally reaching passed the cervix and hitting the back of the womb with each thrust. Every time he orgasms this way he will spill roughly two gallons of cum into his mate. As the sex continues nearly all of this will spill out, but don't worry: this is desirable. The flow of perfluorocarbon seminal fluid must be continuous, as it provides vital nutrients and oxygen to the developing embryos. Do not allow yourself more than 43 minutes rest in between one orgasm ending and beginning to work yourself up for the next orgasm. Ideally, you should simply not stop thrusting for the entirety of the roughly 78 hour pregnancy.

It's completely absurd. More than three days of non-stop pregnant sex while high as a kite on alien aphrodisiac venom.

Gods what he wouldn't give for it to be real.

Tim unbuttons his pants, widening his stance and slipping a hand over his underwear, lightly rubbing the head of his clit through the fabric.

"And just what the fuck do you think you're reading?"

It takes every second worth of Tim's years of training not to startle out of his skin at the sound of Jason's voice.

"Really hot porn." He replies coolly.

Jason's still got his mask on and his hood up but it's clear to see he's taken aback (as was the intent).

"Really?"

"What? You think I don't have kinks?"

His head tilts, his lenses narrowing.

"...Guess you are exactly the right kinda tight laced to be into some freak shit."

"Rude. True, mind you, and pretty fucking hypocritical, but still rude."

Jason hmms acknowledgment of his hypocrisy. His gaze drops from Tim's face to the book and finally down to the hand still in his pants. It is so very hard to read any sort of expression through the masks, but Tim feels like he's got a damn solid bet as to what Jason's feeling right now.

He rolls the dice and starts stroking his clit again, deliberately making it obvious.

Jason's breathing gets heavier, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly, his shoulders go tense - all good signs. Then his hips rock in sympathy with one of Tim's strokes and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jason is into this.

Tim grins.

There's something deeply gratifying in getting caught and then shamelessly continuing to pleasure himself. It makes him feel depraved - sinfully self indulgent in the best kind of way.

"So you like imagining yourself as a big scary monster who lives to fuck his eggs into people, huh? Got jealous of the xenomorphs while watching Aliens?"

"Yup. Clearly I don't have to explain the appeal to you."

"Actually, I think you do. I'm only interested in being the one getting bred; I don't honestly get the deal about being the one doing the topping."

Jason grips and leans against the bookshelf, clearly aiming for casual and missing by about a million miles to land firmly in 'seems like he's so horny he might faint' territory.

"Oh, cool. Coolcoolcool- uh, what if I get a towel and get you comfortable on the couch and we compare notes?"

Tim just barely holds himself back from laughing and says, "Sounds great!"

[musicalmoritz]

I talk a lot about characters being exclusively gay or lesbian on here, so I wanted to switch things up for once and talk about some tbhk characters who are most likely bi

Starting off with the most obvious and undeniably most bi-coded character in tbhk (can we even call it coding anymore?? the subtext has become text), we have my boy Kou!! His main love interest is Mitsuba, and in addition to the other characters teasing Kou about his feelings, the two of them have gone on a date together. While it’s true Kou offhandedly said it’s “not a date” (outside of a speech bubble even), AidaIro would not have labeled it that way if they didn’t want people to interpret it as such. They’re also often drawn very romantically together and…c’mon, their story doesn’t make a lot of sense if they’re just friends (in comparison to other male friendships in tbhk like Hanako and Kou or Teru and Akane that DO make sense platonically)

Kou also had a huge crush on Nene for the majority of the manga, and may still like her (he no longer gets flustered when people suggest that he likes her so imo it’s up to interpretation whether or not his feelings have changed). His feelings for Mitsuba don’t discredit his feelings for Nene or vice versa, so it’s safe to assume this man swings both ways. He frequently blushes around Nene and, as aforementioned, used to get very flustered whenever someone teased him about his crush. I believe in the pilot of tbhk he also confessed to her

So as we’ve established, Kou checks off both bi boxes. But what about Nene herself?

Nene’s main love interest is Hanako, but other than that she’s shown to be very boy crazy. She swoons over every man she meets, and dedicates herself to her crushes even when she doesn’t really know them. The sky is blue, the sun rises in the morning, and Nene wants a boyfriend

…Or a girlfriend? If you can’t call what Nene felt towards Sakura a crush, then I don’t know what you would call it. She blushed around her, called her a babe, compared her to a doll, emphasized her beauty, and got so distracted spending time with her that she forgot to stay on guard. This is how Nene acts around all her crushes, dazed and a little stupid. I also think it says a lot that she still seemed awfully friendly with Hanako when he got turned into a girl in ASHK. At the very least I’d say Nene is bi-curious

I bet you can’t tell which Aoi this is about lol. I theoretically could call out Aoi but I feel like it would be slightly more of a reach with her so for now I’m sticking with Akane. His main love interest is Aoi- hell, his whole word is Aoi. He worships the ground she walks on, and their character development is reliant on one another. I fully believe Akane would feel the same way about Aoi if she were a man; it’s not about her gender, it’s about who she is as a person. But that’s only speculation so let’s look at the facts

In the Confession Tree chapter, Akane fell in love with and started dating Lemon. Now, this is purely up to interpretation, but I don’t think a love potion would have the power to change someone’s sexuality, at least not something like the Confession Tree. It’s perfectly fine to disagree with that statement, but my takeaway here was that Lemon and Akane would both be fine with dating men (I would’ve put Lemon on this list but I don’t think he’s shown any interest in women, I do hc him as pan tho)

And lastly, we have Natsuhiko, who would love Sakura regardless of their gender…and who apparently is fine with changing their own gender at the drop of a hat?? Does he have something he wants to tell us??

I could have included more characters, but I wanted to stay semi-realistic here. A lot of people also bring up Hanako flirting with Kou when he got turned into a girl, and I will say he acts very flirty with Kou in general, but I have a hard time deciphering whether they’re just joking the way friends do or if there’s some level of seriousness to it lol. I interpreted it as a friend thing but I’m open to hearing different opinions, I usually headcanon Hanako as bi anyway

I also mentioned Aoi but again, I can’t tell if the way she sometimes gets a little too close to Nene is just girls being girls or if it’s girls liking girls. And I don’t rly count Mei falling in love with her in HKOM as evidence because Aoi didn’t like her back, although it’s reasonable to assume they started dating since they were mentioned to hang out a lot after that. But Aoi/Aoi is still a thing in HKOM so…I don’t know. She could like both ofc (that’s kind of the whole point here) but I didn’t see enough of her liking Mei to come to a definitive conclusion. Aoi definitely gives me sapphic vibes but I didn’t feel like there was enough evidence to put her on the list so for now I’ll leave her as an honorable mention. Then there’s Teru’s weird thing with the Aois but I don’t think anyone can decipher what’s going on there

In conclusion, bi rights

[lightofraye]

A Little Perspective

This may be lengthy and detailed and potentially triggering for some. I will be covering a number of possible points of view about things covering why Jensen hasn't left--and may never. (A prospective I'm not thrilled about, to be honest.)

So. Let's begin.

1) Abuse: This is double issue for Jensen. Potentially a triple. How do I mean? For instance, Jensen himself admitted his father beat him with a belt--and from the sound of it, a lot, while he was growing up, as Jensen knew thinner belts hurt more. Worse, his father said he did it "out of love", so there's that bad, unpleasant association right out the bat.

Plus, his mother... this is only speculation, an assumption. She either looked the other way and accepted the abuse, or she was a participant of the abuse and thought it was normal/acceptable. That too may color Jensen's perspective and not a good way either.

Then Jensen became a model... and the modeling industry is/was rife on abuse. A lot of stories come out later where those who quit the industry or endured it suffered a great deal of sexual harassment, sexual assault, sexual abuse.... A "pretty boy" like Jensen likely would've suffered as well. I don't believe he's ever shared stories and he likely may never.

(Hi, toxic perception of men as victims again.)

I can't even begin about the sexual abuse that is rampant in Hollywood itself. Yes, women were largely targets, but as we've heard the last few years,... so have been men.

Hell, Jensen was sexually assaulted by Misha! It was used in a fucking gag reel! It's not funny! Jensen even said if he had known they were going to put it in the gag reel, he would've asked them not to. That to me speaks volumes.

There are brief stories out there. A PA witnessed Danneel slapping Jensen when she thought Jensen was flirting with the PA. (He wasn't; he's just that sweet.) There's another story of some restaurant goer who saw how harsh Danneel was bullying Jensen outside the restaurant.

He's... diminished. His baseline for normal is not the baseline for normal for non-abused people. His self-esteem, confidence, and ability to stand up for himself is heavily damaged. He doesn't know how to stand up for himself. Every time he has, he's been smacked down.

Yes, he can stand up for others time to time, but there are instances when he didn't and gave up in face of authority. (Mark Sheppard being demoted to guest star and losing pay and choosing to quit instead... only had Jared standing up for him in the end. Misha caved instantly and Jensen gave up as well.)

So what then does it mean for him and Danneel? Did she become abusive off the bat? No. That's not how abusers work. There were likely instances where she slipped and he mentally made excuses, ignored the red flags because that's how it tends to happen. Hindsight is ever perfect. Being in the heat of it, we tend to try and excuse, defend, or otherwise rewrite it in our minds. We don't want to think of it as normal.

Then once they were married, Danneel began to let that completely slip and fall, and he was "trapped". The cycle continues. By now he thinks of it as normal, acceptable, maybe impossible to escape. He has likely been told no one would want him. He's "middle-aged", damaged goods. This has also been told to female victims and it's hard to break that mindset too. It's hard to find strength to completely break free when you've been fed insidious lies since childhood.

It's a trap. A difficult trap to break. Can it happen? Yes. But it's very, very hard.

2. Blackmail: This one can fall under two very different categories. One, the abuse one. Where the children (I've mentioned this before) are being used as hostages to guarantee Jensen's continued marriage to Danneel. As in, "If you divorce me, I'll make sure you never see the kids again!" It's a common threat, to boot.

Despite what some people have said, I believe Jensen loves his children. Yes, "especially" JJ, but I believe he loves all three. He may not be home a lot to see them, but he loves them. He would like to keep that access to them. It may be he believes Danneel's threat, and I'm sure there's some who believe it'd be "easy" for a woman to make such a threat and keep it.

Here's a hint, folks. The truth to that lie. If a father asks for full custody of the children in a divorce, they usually get that request granted, no matter what. But most of them don't ask for that, and so, the parent that does ask gets it granted. So... if a husband and wife vie against each other and both ask, guess who wins? The father.

Most fathers don't think to ask because of the perception of mothers always win. Mothers are the ones who should be responsible for children. And so forth.

Regardless... Jensen likely might believe that threat and feels some access is better than none.

Then the other kind of blackmail. Note: I do not believe nearly all that I'm about to write. This is purely speculative and a number of possible blackmail that Danneel might have over him.

There's the J2 tinhat rumors. I could see why those rumors lasted as long as they have. I've seen the stories, the posts, photos, watched them in conventions. It's entirely possible that Jared and Jensen did have some romantic/sexual relationship for a time. Maybe even after they got married to Genevieve and Danneel, it might have continued.

It could be Genevieve just accepted it and when it ended (as there was a gradual separation even before the whole The Winchesters/Prequelgate debacle), Jared and Gen were okay. Danneel... however... might not have been as okay with it as she indicated. Her posts over the years, where she tried to make it seem she and Jensen were together when fan photos and such came out at the same time of Jensen and Jared together, might've been wildly embarrassed by it all. She might not have been as okay with it as Genevieve was and just collected evidence to hold over Jensen's head.

After all, sadly, Hollywood still isn't as accepting of LGBTQ as we'd like. When actors come out, their careers usually don't continue, out of the weird perception that gay men can't act straight. (When I hear that, I look at Matt Bomer and go "Are you sure?!" I believed Bomer was a charming straight man even after he came out--his character on White Collar was awesome!)

So there's that possibility.

Then there's the orgies rumor we've heard about in the past. Or rather that one tweet that led to a threat of a lawsuit--which sadly made it valid and legitimate. Danneel really didn't know how to let a rumor die. It might make her look weird and bad too, but her career has been nonexistent for a long time and her reputation has already been destroyed by her own actions. It wouldn't hurt her nearly as much as it might hurt Jensen.

Then there's other possible vices. Alcoholism seems to be the more... "acceptable" of vices. As is smoking. If an actor is an alcoholic, they just go to rehab, get help, and be fine. But for someone who is self-conscious about their image, it might be more difficult to accept. Being seen drunk time to time is not the same as being an alcoholic, after all.

The same goes for drugs. Not that rumor has been very well-known, but it can exist.

Then there's the blackmail of affairs. In Hollywood, affairs and flings are considered a part of the life. They happen. Couples that are apart for a while time to time may dabble in affairs and flings. Even with co-stars. This happens too. More than most would like. (The more infamous one would be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Others have happened too. It's just common and accepted. Anyone saying otherwise is just wrong.)

Again, image-conscious and wanting to push the solid love marriage, this could be damaging. Even if Danneel hadn't really made it much of a secret that she's been having an on-and-off affair with Steve... it's still different. I repeat: she has no career or reputation to destroy. Jensen does.

Even if Hollywood wouldn't give that big of a damn about it.

3. PR Marriage: Now I know this has been pushed by other antis, and even suggested to me, but I find myself... hesitating on it. If it was in fact a PR marriage, why would he tolerate the abuse at all? Surely there'd be something in the contract about demeaning him and belittling him? It doesn't fit.

And there should have been protection over mistreatment or not fulfilling parts of it. I don't know... it doesn't quite fit. Not for me.

--

This was a long, long essay. I knew it would be, and it was still hard to write parts of it.

I want to end it with another point.

Female on male violence is often portrayed as a joke. Wedding Crashers had a female on male rape and it was a joke, a comedy bit. The one time I remember seeing such a scenario used on Law and Order: SVU, the male victim wasn't believed because he was a man and should have been able to overpower the woman.

Like it's expected of men to be able to just beat the shit out of their abusive partners... as though no one realized that if come upon by the police, any bruises on her would be taken more seriously than over him! Even if he had bruises too! Unless there's video evidence of physical abuse on him, anything else is considered... a joke. Impossible.

What's sad is that this too is an aspect of misogyny. Men are expected to be able to overpower women, so when a man is "taking" abuse and not fighting back, it's another part of misogyny. Because he's "lesser" than a woman, and that's shameful.

We have a lot of growing to do as a society. We need to realize that just because one person is making the money does not mean they hold all the power. We've only begun to see the problems of abuse, and all the areas it covers.

There's physical abuse, the one most commonly known. Then sexual, the second commonly known. The lesser recognized are financial (unless a person is a senior citizen, then it's considered a legitimate crime), and mental and emotional being the least known or recognized (only considered legitimate if done on a child and with proof).

Until we end the toxic expectations of men, and yes, women, and realize anyone can be a victim, and that we all, as a whole, deserve respect... we have a long way to go.

Just remember: It begins with you. It begins with us.

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown here. I'm laughing that stuck, but I will take it. Literally, no one important just ended up there. The readers' digest version for those who didn't see the original goes like this.

In the beginning, it was all fun, and games and delusions of grandeur were written till E6, really.

That's when the Buck Tommy kind of flat lined, and what was shown was meh. Then they were desperately praying there would be on on screen pledge of commitment to shut us up before the season ended. Never happened. Pretty much all of the speculation came from paying for Lous Cameos. They built stories around them. Heavily used his cameo wearing the medal when he said they were "thriving." We all know they literally had one scene after that. Then Lou had to shut down his account, and now they were in a drought.

So they moved along into speculation territory for weeks until Oliver's live. Before then, we received their ire. We were bullies and harassing Lou ext. In the live, he basically grimaced and ignored the Buck Tommy question and smiled and blushed at Buddie. Have to remember with, in the same time frame, we had Ryan basically say so you know Buck and Eddie during an interview non 911 related, but also the old Lou interview started circulating again. The one where he basically says they called me last minute to kiss one of them and that he was basically called in to work out Bucks kinks as a starter relationship.

Clearly, this caused panic in the BT PR room!!

But it was weird because after Oliver's recent life, that's when they turned on him. Because now they had to confront why he had never posted about Tommy, followed Lou and only posted Eddie. I have seen that happen in other fandoms, but it's usually by main characters. Not a random side character. So my point is if Oliver continues as is, BTS starts popping up no Lou, Ryan, and Oliver promo. They are turning on Oliver if he doesn't promote BT. They already did and that was just the first trial by fire.

Since then, though, like any good conspiracy type behavior, it's like they forgot they were mad and never mentioned Oliver's expressions during it. Or the fact he seems to not care about the pairing.

They are back in delusional land. Some delusions include.... It's good Chris will be gone because it provides space for Buck to detach from Eddie, and we get more Tommy. Tommy will be more main character LI and involved with the team. Huge chance Tommy finally comes clean to Buck he was into Eddie before, and Buck being so loving invites Eddie to join them. Eddie secretly pines for Tommy. Tommy taking over father roles for both Eddie and Buck because clearly they need his help. Also sexual fantasies clearly written by straight people.

But mark my words... If it keeps going with no sign of Lou, Tommy, or Oliver acknowledging BT, it will because of us and Oliver. If that happens, I will, of course, message you.

And if people really want to know I am happy to always report back the gossip...

But if that was long winded as hell and you skipped to the bottom.. Yes, they turned on Oliver (behind closed doors) because his live was the first chance since the cameos to get anything. And he said let them eat cake....

Hello, my love 🩷🩷🩷

Wait wait wait wait you're telling me that after the hospital kiss when there were harassing everyone about how bt is now endgame, they were panicking about the way the relationship was portrayed? And that they realize the relationship was not defined on screen? Are you fucking with me? This is........ Okay, but seriously, do they realize how cameo works or do they think Lou was just saying those things because he felt like it? When you pay for those videos, you send him a message that prompts him. He was saying what they paid him to say. I'm...... I'm glad to know they are also unhappy with the way the relationship has been treated, I feel vindicated.

Also the way they also agree Tommy looked more interested in Eddie and are creating their own delusions on top of Eddie pining for Tommy? I don't even want to think about Tommy being a better parent, that one just makes me want to pick a fight. Interesting to know they are having the three-way fantasies in private while completely turning on Eddie out here.

Honestly, the chaos that will happen once filming starts is not something I'm looking forward to, because there won't be the level of content they want and that will 10000000% make them more feral. Especially considering the way Oliver is on our side, and even with bt on the making the promotion of s7 leaned HEAVILY on Oliver and Ryan together. And it worked. So it will probably happen again. And given how small Tommy's role was in the back half of the season, him not being around all that much is the more plausible scenario. And well, publicly turning on Oliver is not gonna get the reaction they think it will, so that's gonna be interesting for sure.

Please come back any time there's an update you feel is worth sharing, I'm loving having the inside view kapakapalapakpas

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

omg I want to know, how were the Napoleon Queer Wars of 2014 like?? 😬

oh lord lol

It's been almost ten years and I still get weird YIKES reaction in my skin when I think about it, or when people in the current Napoleonic corner act a bit like the people from back then. Which is a me issue, and not anyone else's problem. But it is why I don't really engage with anyone from the Napoleonic side of tumblr anymore - too many bad memories and bad taste in my mouth.

Essentially, someone posted the (in)famous Cronin quote re: Napoleon telling Coulaincourt about the Feelings He Gets When Looking At Someone Handsome Friend Shaped. They speculated about queer* implications of this.

--

*necessary disclaimer about modern concepts of sexuality not being applicable to the past yadda yadda yadda. I'm using short hand here, folks. No one needs to jump down my throat.

--

A bunch of the Very Serious History Blogs(tm) came down hard on them being like "you're a fool, absolutely not, Napoleon was Straight(tm)". Someone else replied being like "Well what about That Letter from N to Josie concerning a Certain Tsar of Russia?"

I forget how That Letter was explained away, but it was.

Some name calling nonsense and really aggresive replies where bandied back and forth. People were passive aggresive and mean. People ignored each other then wrote vagueing posts about it. The usual damned foolishness you would expect.

Then someone else referenced that one book whose whole thesis is basically Napoleon was Probably Bi. The book, I will say, isn't great. I'd never recommend it. But it was floating around in the 2014/15 world of Napoleonic Tumblr.

And oh man was the person who suggested it torn to shreds. Eviscerated. It was like watching a train wreck and the by standers decided to lock the doors of the train and not let the passengers off while everything burned.

There were weird spin-off dramas from this nonsense where people got into whether or not being interested in Napoleon made you a war crime sympathizer. (Some things never change on this webbed site.) Messy, messy. Also, utterly dumb.

Anyway - it ended up weirdly boiling down to two sides: Are You A Serious Historian/Take History Seriously(tm) Therefore Anti-Napoleon Possibly Being Something Like Queer Even If Never Acted On versus People Having Fun(tm) on the Internet Who Now Have Their Backs Up and Are Responding Perhaps Unwisely.

There was a third party, which I was part of at that time** (no longer, since I left academia), which was the "We Do Real History As A Day Job, Because We Are In Academia, but Lol Like Hell Would I Think to do Serious History on the Blue Hell Site. I'm Present for Shits and Giggles and Idle Speculation and Chats. Nothing Here is Serious. Everyone Needs To Calm Down and Take Themselves Way Less Seriously." We were a small contingent, to say the least.

--

**this is not to say I didn't walk away with egg on my face. Because I did. My comportment wasn't great and it's something I've been trying to be better about ever since.

It's not a time I think anyone save like four Napoleonic-interested blogs can look back on without blame.

--

But yeah - it was a real bad time on here. People were called names and cruel, cruel messages were sent to various and sundry by various and sundry. People deactivated over it. Friendships were literally torched because of it. There was a lot of issues with: "What Is Tone When Jumping On Someone's Post?? We don't know how to gauge it! Are you being mean? Are you being helpful? Who knows!! But you sounded aggresive in your add on and so I had better respond aggressively as well."

All because some people took themselves too seriously and because other people were stupidly mean about something dumb.

If I sometimes come in really strong with five million disclaimers in my napoleon asks/responses, even just the silly, purely speculative ones that no one sensible expects Real Serious History to result from - questions that clearly fall into the camp of shit a friend would ask you at the bar after four pints - things like: "was he queer? do you think he had add/adhd? what do you speculate were mental health issues he may have had?" etc. it's because of this year/year-and-a-half shit show. (And my disclaimers don't always serve their purpose because this is, after all, the Piss on the Poor website and people lack attention to detail when reading. [That said, I'm just as guilty of it as well, so can't point too many fingers.])

anyway, the long and short is that MAN people were very anti-any idea that there might have been an iota of what we would term queerness in Napoleon. And MAN no one can be normal on this site about anything so of course there was unnecessary drama and hurt feelings and bitterness.

May we never repeat this stupid time.

[generic-sonic-fan]

Happy pride! Here's some headcanons.

In-depth explanations beneath the cut (please keep in mind that these are personal and that I actually don't really stand by any that strongly! This is just for fun.)

Sonic: okay do I really need to explain this one?

Knuckles: What can I say, his gender contains multitudes. He's definitely a member of the "I don't care" camp for both gender and sexuality. He is what he is, loves who he loves, and doesn't give two rips about what other people might say. I like to imagine he plays around with both genders of clothing from echidna culture.

Amy: oh Amy, my sweet summer child. It's so autistic and queer of you to relentlessly declare your love for someone of the opposite sex because it's what is expected of you. I did the same in third grade before I realized that the other girls meant what they were saying about their target boy. Heteronormativity is a bitch, get well soon <3

Rouge: I think she fucked around with being she/they for a while before settling back on she/her. And bi icon, of course.

Blaze: okay do I really need to explain this one?

Silver: That is one nonbinary hedgehog if I ever saw one! He's a he/him by convenience alone. He hasn't had the chance to explore his sexuality yet unfortunately.

Big: He's good with he/him and that's all he cares about. Not a super strong connection to his assigned gender at birth but he likes being a boy well enough. As for his sexuality, he never figured out what everyone was going on about when it came to sex, and only recently figured out it was because he was literally missing that 'sexual attraction' thing.

Shadow: is nonbinary as fuck and has no idea. Honey, seeing masculinity as a burden you have to bear is not normal!!! He's also demi-ace. It takes a very close relationship with someone to even consider sexual attraction.

Cream: happy being a girl! Hasn't really thought about crushing on anyone yet.

Tails: Internalized homophobia + transphobia from being bullied go brrrrrr. Besides, Sonic doesn't spend much time thinking about these things, so why should he? (Tails. Tails listen to me. Sonic's aro and knew he was trans at an unusually young age. he's a statistical outlier with how early he figured it out PLEASE consider that and don't base your self-discovery journey on him. . .)

Metal: You all know my headcanons for this one. Metal was assigned male by Eggman from its earliest iterations and gender dysphoria is literally 98% of all of its problems. Please get this robot some estrogen. As for sexuality, full romantic attraction is definitely on the table but jesus christ this robot needs to do some work on itself before that. Please read Complex Inquiries if you want me to elaborate that's like my master's thesis on this subject

Vector: Gave his gender a really good thinking before shrugging and sticking with his assigned gender at birth. Also pan as hell, definitely dated some femboys in high school I think.

Espio: Currently in the process of speculating if he's nonbinary. Keeps very quiet about it though. But he knows he likes dudes, so there's that.

Charmy: He's bit-sexual. Whatever he needs to be for the punchline of the joke to land, frankly.

Omega: For narrative parallel reasons to Metal Sonic, I love to headcanon that Omega wasn't programmed with a gender, but then discovered that masculinity is traditionally associated with aggression and violence and went ham. Doesn't mind getting she/her'd, doesn't exactly like they/them, but it/its is of the highest offense. He will kill you for that. As for his sexuality, (I know he's a robot but PLEASE hear me out) he's demi-aro! He'd have no idea that any sort of feelings on his part are happening until it was too late. He'd hate himself for it and promptly bury said feelings beneath so many layers.

[gmanwhore]

I am. Sooooo normal about these guys rn so all of my Nightmare Mode characters backstories! (+ One of my OCs)

TW for child abuse, child experimentation (Lilith and Anazareth), gross imagery including worms (Nyogtha), mentions of sexualization of a minor (for Yan Luo), parent death (for Bryn), self harm as manipulation (Abducius) and grievous injuries to children (for Teutates)

Xezbet: Xezbet was once a human, back in medieval times. He often dressed up as a monk to swindle people out of their money, or to hide from authorities. Once people started catching wind of what he was doing, some people stared a rumour that he was a devil worshipper, but he was really just some guy. He was eventually executed for trying to cheat a knight out of his money. His ghost wandered for thousands of years before he managed to sneak into the Palace of the Nightmares and he just lives here now.

Drugia: Drugia started out her existence in hell with no knowledge of where she came from. She left very quickly, almost immediately starting by causing nightmares in young children, challenging herself to create more disturbing and concerning dreams, driving people to insanity. She ended up joining the Nightmares so she could relax, and not have to worry about anyone attempting to hunt her down. It is widely speculated that she is one of Ishtar's children, but she doesn't know.

Exael and Barbatos: Both of them started out as bounty hunters and assassins, making money and getting shelter in exchange for capturing or killing targets. Barbatos obviously did most of the tracking while traps and dispatching was up to Exael. Neither of them take pleasure in their jobs, but there is a sense of pride there. They both ended up becoming indebted to the King of Death and made to stay at the Palace of Nightmares.

Abducius: Abducius says he was born a human, and while that is technically the truth there is far more to the story. He's truly a poltergeist that took over someone else's body. He's always desperate for attention and to have eyes on him, hence the horrific ways he has mutilated himself and others. He attests he used to be a circus performer, someone who swallowed swords and juggled fire. Really, he worked in a textile factory making machines. He died in a workplace accident, but since no one remembered him, that angered him. Hence his nature as a ghost.

Lilith and Anazareth: Lilith and Anazareth are two parts of the same soul, just given different bodies. Lilith's body was originally empty, the soul inside it killed by the twins parents (who were also both witches) so it could house their second daughter. Really, they only split their daughter in two to prove they could. Lilith and Anazareth grew up knowing everything about each other, and they still do. Neither of them were actually...people to their parents. Since they were children their parents used them as lab rats for their new spells, or to test the limits of their bodies, minds and souls. All of their magical knowledge came from their parents.

Chaugnar: Chaugnar was born in a far different place than he later was summoned to. He was actually rather average where he lived, having a base knowledge of how to connect to the spirit world but as he wasn't an oracle or priestess he had to use his own forms of divination. Still, this was supported by his parents because any connection to any other realm was sacred and important. Later in his adulthood he was summoned to the Palace of the Nightmares by Anazareth to help them forge their "circuit".

Nyogtha: Nyogtha was a corpse up until about fifty years ago when a group of worms infested her body and began to move it. She doesn't remember her life alive because...she's the worms now. The worms have always been worms. Just very smart worms. They keep their body preserved with...I actually don't know, they probably got someone to enchant the body.

Zoth: Zoth was born to a noble family within the Court of Death (Yan Luo's family's court), and this was expected to take on his father's role from a young age. He has trained to be a ritual guide his whole life, and he does a damned good job of it. He can recite any chant needed from memory, he can direct a whole ceremony by himself and perform every single role. This came at the expense of really any friends, so he took any companionship he could get when he got older. He holds no grudge against his parents but I think he should. There is a reason he wears a collar.

Shub: Shub was born from the ground eons ago, back in the days when humans were gaining sentience. She is tied to their knowledge and wisdom. Many people regard her as the snake in the Garden of Eden, but according to her that didn't happen, she just happened to see a human and talked to her for a bit and helped start the beginning of humanity's thirst to know. She's also been the one to keep humanity humble. For every innovation, Shub will cause a drought and wipe put fertile crop land. For every step forward, Shub will make their fruit rot on the vine to remind them they are at nature's mercy. She loves her job though, and is actually the founding member of the Horsemen entirely because of her purpose in life.

Yog: Yog is the son of a fairy queen, a merry god of death, and a demon. He lived in his mother's kingdom for years but realized he didn't fit in with his brothers and moved to the Palace of the Nightmares. He just kinda lives there now.

Quachil: Quachil and her parents were cast out of heaven after her parents were found causing pain and suffering to mortals. Her parents fell all the way to the pits of hell, but Quachil somehow managed to land right in he middle of the courtyard to the Palace of the Nightmares. She was found by Ishtar who was with Yog at the time, and they both adopted her. Once Ishtar tried to divorce Yog, however, Yan Luo removed Ishtar's custody rights out of spite meaning Quachil had to live with her father. She prefers not to talk about that experience. She eventually does go back to live with her mother, though.

Yan Luo: Yan Luo was the only child of the King of Death. He was expecting a son and was very displeased to see Yan Luo born a woman. Her early life was full of learning how to one day be a queen, and that her life was to be dedicated to finding a husband and having a child first, then being a cold and controlling ruler. As she grew, her father's constant comments about her made her grow to detest her body and how it looked, and cause her to see her role as a curse. Once she ascended to the title of Princess of Death (the Palace of the Nightmares and being a Horseman has always been seen as a training ritual for the Wang Diyu family) she realized just how inexperienced and put of her depth she was compared to the other Horsemen, which caused her to lash out. He is getting better though.

Orcus: Orcus was just summoned one day. He's also a ghost like Abducius is, and he steals people's bodies. He also just straight up steals people's skin. He doesn't remember his life and a human and he doesn't care.

Ishtar: Ishtar was also born out of the ground a few months after Shub. She acts as a partner to Shub, helping her cause famines to keep the humans in check as well as creating new illnesses and types of creatures at torment them. She delights in creation, of course. A new illness means a new cure, a new romantic poem about a love one passing away dramatically...each pest a new source of innovation, a new story born from how bad they want to be rid of them. She doesn't have Shub's disdain for human vices, however, in fact she often partakes in them. Ishtar loves to play. She has also had many, many, many children...but hasn't been able to keep a single one as each disappears from her womb before birth. This sadness usually causes her to make a new species of insect or strain of illness.

Teutates: Teutates was born for the battlefield. The second he could walk his father had him in a uniform, training with soldiers much bigger than him. His mother attempted to take him away, but Ah Puch kidnapped him back so he could continue training. By his teen years he could take down a full grown man and was a general in his father's army. He didn't like the gruelling training and the pressure he was under, but he felt he had no other choice. He began wearing his gas mask and uniform all the time after his father forced him into a battlefield wearing nothing but civilian clothes and a mine activated in front of him, burning up most of the front of his body. After this, Ah Puch began getting her "pets" (usually dopples) to keep her company. This started a cycle during her horseman days where she would get a new pet in spring and by fall accidentally kill it during her rage blindness.

Ah Puch: Despite saying he loved leading an army, he got tired of it pretty much as soon as he became a Horseman. He's actually the only Horseman to not have a parent who was one or just have been one from the start. Really, he had worked his way up the ranks in the army before the former War took a shine to him and basically put Ah Puch under his protection, affording him all the best he could offer before his retirement. Ah Puch then realized war was not as fun when you aren't being praised for every single thing you do, so as soon as he had a child he began training the kid to take his place so he could retire a hero.

Dagda: Dagda was Yan Luo's first attempt at having a child. She made his body, then had Xezbet put a soul into him. She then realized after he woke up for the first time she really didn't want a child, so put him in a field to "guard" and sort of...left him there. Since he had just come into existence he didn't try and follow her, thinking this was a normal thing, and he was a scarecrow after all! Eventually Shub was out and brought him back, and Izanami offered to let him live with her. He now holds a bit of a grudge against Yan Luo, but normally doesn't talk to her.

Izanami: Izanami died years and years ago after her husband poisoned her so she wouldn't find out he was cheating on her. She then turned around and ripped off his face when he was sleeping. She has a dedication to warping the faces of liars so everyone knows what they are. She was eventually summoned by Anazareth completely accidentally, and decided that the Palace of the Nightmares is not a bad place to live, so she stayed.

Bryn: Bryn is a doppleganger, and dopplegangers in the Nightmare Realm are a species of mammal that can steal people's appearances. The Nightmares regard them as pests who eat humans they could be using for rituals or their own food. Dopples also live in colonies, though these ones are much smaller than in the real world. Bryn lived in a colony with his mother when it was raided, and his entire colony killed. He was only spared because he can't run out of blood, so he was given to Yog as a pet. He lived with Yog and later Abducius and Zoth as well for years before Teutates kind of stole him.

[outofmydepthatapublicbeach]

Also dealing with some comphet stuff rn so sending lots of love to you ❤️❤️ I was wondering if maybe you could do reader struggling with that and figuring out her sexuality? Maybe similar type of character to lacy she’s a singer and friends with munagenius, maybe she’s starting to have a crush on one of them and is having a hard time accepting it and figuring out what it means, and a little embarrassed to talk about it with everyone when they seem like they all have it figured out

i love you anon. literally so much. i hope you’re doing okay 🩷

since you didn’t specify which member i’m going to use they/she pronouns and you can imagine anyone you’d want!!

i imagine readers music is more focused on friendship or childhood memories and less on love because of their questioning nature.

since reader has been seen with a lot of the members of muna and boygenius there has been a lot of speculations on their sexuality and reader gets really anxious when they see those videos/ posts.

when reader is around munagenius they feel more at home than ever, with their closest friends ever. but sometimes when the conversation skews about the boys exes or any relationship anyone had reader starts to tune out, or sit back.

reader shuts any conversation down about their sexuality.

when they start to realize they are developing a crush one of their friends they freak out and shove it down deep for a while. reader tries to be like “pfhhh we’re just friends!” until they realize like no, because a friend wouldn’t look at them and then their head starts spinning and their palms for sure wouldn’t go clammy if their feelings for them were purely platonic.

i think reader would try bringing it up in a group setting but would get intimidated.

everyone’s got these labels and reader is like “how the hell do people figure this shit out???? 😭” and stop they use google for so much stuff.

READER TAKING “am i gay?” QUIZZES

i might cry omg

the first person to notice would be like lucy or katie. she would have overseen one of the quizzes open in a tab and ask you about it, very casually as to not alarm you. she’d be very gentle with you and very understanding.

she would convince you to tell the person you like that you like them. and also remind you that you don’t owe anyone a label, you’re you, calling yourself bi or lesbian or straight or pan doesn’t change who you are at all.

when you tell the person you like them, they smile and bring you in for a hug. “thank you for telling me, i like you too :))” and you two live happily ever after

you two hold hands all the time and all the other tease you both (very nice teasing though)

[dykephan]

please elaborate on the period of time when they didn’t leave their rooms and didn’t talk to each other 👀

okay okay let me be clear this is 100% speculation and i'm perfectly fine with being wrong or people disagreeing with me because i'm here for the sillies and i don't usually like to get into real "theories" but this takes up space in my brain for some reason. anyway that's my long disclaimer let's get into it :D

first we need a timeline for this to make sense. dan officially moved in with phil in manchester in august of 2011. this is when their public personas slowly started to become more polished and less personal. dan had just dropped out of law school, so youtube was his full time career now. they started diversifying their income with things like the super amazing project, their first merch line, and the fantastic foursome (which was created because they partnered with vyou, the livestream service). on christmas of 2011, they had their very first guest appearance on bbc radio 1.

all this is to say, things were moving FAST for them as they went into 2012. they were both trying to figure out how they wanted to be perceived online and, in particular, how they wanted to approach joint content. i will never know what was going on behind the scenes, but i think their personal relationship took a hit because they never had time to enjoy living together before it was tainted. moving in with your partner can already make or break you, but add hundreds of thousands of brand new eyes watching you during this transitional period, and there had to be some tension.

while they were pursuing all these new career options, they were also trying to secure a job with the bbc. they've said before that they moved to london on a whim, basically just to prove that they were serious about their career and would do whatever it takes to get there. that happened in june of 2012. in my opinion, THIS is the turning point. because now they really had to drive home the point that they were just friends who live together out of convenience. they even had separate bedrooms with unique but opposite themes!

dan started his "customer service" blog where he would go on long long rants about shipping and his sexuality. and then in late 2012, the v/day video dropped again. it had already been quietly floating around, but now there were SO many more people out there to see it. i'm sure i don't have to tell you how detrimental this was (especially the timing of it), so i won't dwell on it. but these are the real dark ages that come to mind immediately when you think of 2012. that christmas eve, they posted their last video for the super amazing project. the ending of this series stands out to me because it was almost the same formula as the 2018 hiatus -- they didn't officially close the door on it, they just let it fade away. on christmas, they had their second special on bbc radio 1. and in january of 2013, they finally started their own recurring show.

OKAY SO HERE'S MY THEORY, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG LMAO

i think that sometime in late 2012, they separated/broke up/took a break, something like that. however, they had just moved to london (a huge risk) and were already planning on doing the radio show together. they knew neither of them could've gotten hired by themselves, because it was their dynamic & their collective fans that were so interesting to the bbc. their lives had already become so intertwined (hell, dan wouldn't have even started youtube if it weren't for phil convincing him to take the leap), and on top of that, i think they always cared about each other deeply and didn't want to give up. but i do think they needed space and time to cope with all these huge huge life events that were coming at them so quickly.

this is not even mentioning their mental health which i don't really want to get into, except that years later dan would talk about how his depression was completely untreated. and if there's anything we know about him, it's that he gets defensive and isolates himself in times of turmoil. (btw i'm not trying to pick on dan here, it's just that we know far less about phil's inner workings)

so in early 2013 when dan would say things like "i only talk to phil in videos/at work, we don't hang out otherwise", i think there's some kernel of truth in there. it didn't last long, but i do believe there was a time where they kept to themselves and gave each other room to breathe as much as they could while living together and working together 24/7. but once they found their footing with the radio show and youtube at the same time, the vibe between them steadily got better and better. they settled into their respective brands, which could be restricting at times, but at least it allowed them some separation between work and life. and by the time they wrapped up the radio show in early 2015, they knew where they wanted to go with their careers and they were solid enough in each other to accomplish that.

basically, i think the big difference between 2012 and 2018 are the private dynamic between dan and phil. things were rocky between them in 2012 and it showed. but in 2018 and onwards, things might have been rocky on the professional front, but it was clear that dan and phil as people were working things out together, quite literally building for the future ;-; they learned how to prioritize themselves after many years of not doing that

[cosmicjoke]

I hope in the nearing future all Levi x Oc/ Levi x reader shippers see how mentally delusional you all are. I know for a fact your weirdo behavior will be frown upon soon. Also keep in your lane and shut your mouth up about Satosugu and other gay ships. We all knew your group of weirdos will start coming after every gay ship that makes y'all itch.

And that bullshit you all spew about not being homophobic because you have gay relatives is funny as hell. My Dad has a gay son and he's still homophobic so you all did nothing with that bullcrap

Even if you claim Levi isn't gay, it doesn't stop your friends from writing Levi x original male characters. But you guys don't because your homophobic asses can't handle the thought of him being bisexual even though isayama himself said he likes to see Levi with men by calling himself a Levi yaoi enjoyer. If he had said he likes seeing Levi with red haired women you all would have eaten that up. I think it was just fair that that anon called you all retarded. I was giggling so hard. Saying this as a Satosugu shipper btw. Again, tell your friends to not add us into your dumbass discord.

Oh. It's you. You're back, huh? Haven't had enough of getting your ass handed to you? Well, some people just don't know when to quit.

You "giggled" when "that anon" called us "retards"? Tell me you're a 12 year old boy without telling me you're a 12 year old boy.

You're accusing me of being a self-shipper, but everyone who follows me and pays even the most moderate amount of attention knows I don't ship Levi with anyone, including self-shipping. I make it a point again and again to reiterate that about myself. But then, that's all people like you have, isn't it? There's nothing to actually back up your deluded insistence that Levi is gay or in love with Erwin, but you're so deliriously obsessed with the notion, that any time anyone actually points it out, the only thing you can resort to is accusations of bigotry and the pitiful attempt to frame every other ship as "delusional" and "perverse", as if that somehow serves as proof of Levi's romantic interest in Erwin, or anyone else. The only thing it serves as proof of is your pathological inability to accept reality.

I don't claim anything about Levi's sexuality, one way or the other, because there's nothing in canon, or in Isayama's interviews, which addresses Levi's sexuality, period. Everything you say, everything you claim, every psychologically warped belief you hold about Levi, is based on nothing but conjecture, assumption, speculation and theory rooted in conspiracy. You literally have no foundation for anything you claim.

We don't know if Levi is gay, or straight, or asexual, or bisexual. And we don't know because it's irrelevant to his character. You and your ilk are the only ones who can't seem to accept that irrefutable fact, and you and your ilk are the only ones who are dumb enough, and pathetic enough, to reduce a character who's romantic life and sexual orientation have no bearing whatsoever on his actual story and person, and make it the only thing about him that you talk about or care about. You base your entire interaction and relationship to this piece of art on something that only exists in your head, and then you spend all your time online harassing people over it, bullying and insulting them, and accusing them of the very things you yourself are guilty of, all for the horrific crime of pointing out to you that your delusions, I'm so sorry to reiterate, aren't canon.

You aren't a Levi fan. You aren't even an Erwin fan. You aren't a fan of Gojo either, or of Geto. You're a fan of your own fantasies. Something which has zero relation or connection to Isayama's actual work, or to Gege's work either.

But keep trying. Keep making baseless accusations about people you know nothing about. It tracks for you, perfectly. After all, your entire fandom experience revolves around baseless, foundationless fantasy, so you might as well go all the way, and make your interactions with other people just as tightly wrapped in delusion and self-soothing lies.

[prince-liest]

Hey I just read your Lucifer/Angel Dust fic and omg, I loved it so much! You really, really nailed down Lucifer's awkward personality so well! You know his characterization is perfect when you can't help but cringe at him a little, lol.

I really like the fact that Lucifer was so in his head in the fic, like, he frequently "checks out" in a sense and goes on mental tangents. This makes sense since he's so unused to talking to anyone that he doesn't really know how to be "present" in a lot of moments. Like when Angel takes Lucifer into his room and Lucifer immediately zones into the photo of his daughter. Him struggling to not think about Charlie was also really sweet, and a little pathetic as it's clear that she's really the only person Lucifer is close too lol.

Also, I wasn't expecting Angel and Husk to be dating in this fic - but it was very much a welcome surprise! I really like the idea of the two of them having an open relationship, since I bet the last time Husk would want to do is control who Angel can and can't sleep with, since Angel has spent so much time not choosing for himself.

And omg, the smut was so good! I liked how nervous Lucifer was, even though he has (had?) A wife, it's been so long since the two of then were together that I bet he's a little out of practice. I really like that Angel was so prepared to let Lucifer take the lead, only for him to realize "oh, this man is the subbest man to ever sub".

I never really thought of Angel as a dom before, but man, if this while fic didn't convince me the line - "Dollface,” Angel says, “I’ll call ya whatever you like.” - did.

And omg, Lucifer purring. I actually squealed. I never thought of purring to be an angel thing but now I can't unsee it. Angel immediately wanting to make Lucifer purr again after he learned what it was was simultaneously really sweet but also a little sad. Especially as Lucifer thought that it was obnoxious, even though I doubt anyone would have told him anything like that. Assuming all angels purr, so they wouldn't knock it, and Lilith and Lucifer were once in love, so I doubt she would make any comments.

Idk, I just thought it was a really good characterization moment, and showed how "differently" Lucifer sees himself from his "people", how he's insecure about something that sets him about from everyone around him.

Also, I really like how Lucifer's depression has affected his sexuality. Like how he finds it difficult to get hard in the past, or how it affects his purring. Idk, again it's just a little detail I'm glad you included, it really makes it help like you took the time to analyze Lucifer and how his problems would affect his sex life.

And Lucifer crying during sex, I think that's the most in character thing for him to do in this entire fic lol. He's a cry baby, I can feel it in my bones. The second most in character thing for Lucifer is having a daddy kink lol.

(Also, I wasn't sure where to put this in the asks but I found it really charming how... low? Lucifer puts himself compared to others? If that's the right word? Like he never even thinks to use his status. For example when he thinks he ruined the encounter with Angel he immediately starts worrying about how awkward it would be to see him again, even though he's like, the King of hell and if he didn't want to see Angel again he could literally tell Angel not to be in presence.

He's so blase about his role as ruler of Hell, that I can't help but speculate that that's where Charlie got it from.

I mean, it's not as though Lucifer is a stranger to using, or even abusing, his status. In the sing "Hell's Greatest Dad" he literally takes about rigging the game for Charlie because he's the "ref". Idk where I'm going with this, but again, it's a neat character detail we briefly see in episode 5, and I'm really glad to see it expanded on here!)

(Also, also, I know this wasn't included in your fic at all, but I find it a little funny that Angel now has Lucifer in his corner, purely because how fucked this would make Valentino. Like, I think Lucifer is really the only character who can make Valentino actually listen to. I know in your other fic - Happily Ever After, and Other Shit Nepotism Can't Buy - Alastor does help Angel out in the Valentino department. Yes I do consider all of your fics to be in the same "universe", even though I'm aware you probably didn't intend that to be the case.

But I'm just not sure if Valentino would really listen to Alastor? I mean, he did see him get his shit wrecked by Adam, and run away. Plus it takes a whole lot of manipulation from Vox to get Valentino to not do something he wants to.

But Lucifer is in his reputation, and I know Valentino wasn't willing to listen to Charlie, but Charlie was bring a bit timid. We have seen Lucifer being confrontational - and protective - before. So I bet he wouldn't mind actually pulling rank and Valentino to chill the fuck out. Idk, it's just a neat thought exercise.)

Sorry for rambling in your inbox, I just have a lot of Thoughts!

Ahh, this ask was so lovely to read! I like to say that my fanfics are basically my versions of character essays, or my love letters to characters that I like, and it's true in how I write them, so it's always extremely gratifying to see people not just enjoy them but specifically pick apart the things I put into the fics! Especially because I slam my writing style pretty heavily into the "show, don't tell" basket out of personal preference, so it's really delightful when people DO see those things!

Bonus thoughts under the cut so I don't totally kill people's dashboards:

I find writing characters who go on overthinky mental tangents so enjoyable (shoutout to Meng Yao), and Lucifer in particular struck me intensely as that kind of person because even in the show itself he goes on occasional little tangents to himself out loud, mid-conversation. He really acts like someone who hasn't been very well-socialized in recent times, and it's fun to elaborate on! And also a really fun way to show a character being anxious, depending on how you write it, without ever actually mentioning anxiety.

And YES! From what I can tell in canon, Charlie is really, truly the only person that he socializes with! And it's just him calling her once every several months! It's not like Alastor, who maintains an air of mystery - Lucifer just strikes me as someone who's been self-isolating very intensely at the very least since his wife left if not earlier!

It's not in the fic, but I kinda like to headcanon Husk as demi or ace, but very invested in the romantic aspect of his relationship with Angel Dust. My best friend and her future husband are also super poly, and she specifically is very bi and very open to having a good time with various people, so I think my default perspective on monogamy has been shaped a lot by that the past few years, haha! I feel like I can see huskerdust as being cute in love (after they're done with their slowburn in canon) and very comfortable about Angel sleeping with other folks while Husk just does his own thing in that department.

I like to assume Angel is a switch and vers, just by virtue of his job and past experiences, and I think I also see him as genuinely not really having much preference one way or another besides to have a good time. He definitely makes assumptions about the preferred dynamic in this fic at first, both about Lucifer but also because of the assumptions that clients make about Angel Dust himself, but it's far from his first time around the block.

I HAVE! NO CANON REASON FOR THE PURRING. SOMEONE MENTIONED IT ON DISCORD AND I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE CUTE AS FUCK. And I immediately needed it to be fucked up demonic rattle-purring, not something actually cat-like. This one's all on me, y'all, HAHA.

Lucifer's relationship with his role as the king of hell is also really interesting to me because he's very blase about it canon while, yes, totally using it when it suits him. I think it's pointed moment that the first time he actually brings it up himself is when it's something he can leverage to help Charlie out. He reads to me like someone who objectively knows that he's hot shit, but also just doesn't consistently think of himself that way, probably partly because he's always been "Lucifer Morningstar, exiled from heaven" with the other seraphim as his point of reference for power levels, and also probably partly because he demonstrably doesn't have a fantastic mental health situation. Being king of hell didn't un-fuck his family life, except for when suddenly it might in fact help un-fuck his relationship with his daughter.

And yeah, Lucifer could probably actually have literal words with Val and put a stop to the heinous shit. For what it's worth, though, in Happily Ever After: an actual conversation not what Alastor means by "a very firm reminder." He's gunning to kill two birds with one stone by curb stomping the person who has one over one of "his people" and also re-establishing himself as the biggest fish in the Pride Ring pond bar Lucifer after everyone seems to have forgotten who he is and after his defeat at Adam's hands. Can he actually do that? I like to think that he can, but between the mysterious constraints of his contract, the undefined rules of hell regarding interference in other people's contracts, and the fact that Alastor is a grade-A bullshitter when it comes to convincing me personally that he's overpowered, who really knows! But, uh, suffice to say, whether Valentino is inclined to listen to him is not a concern of his, haha.

And thank you very much for this ask! ^_^ I was very fun to read and chat about! <3

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

I think that one anon is talking about when New York Times wrote that weird article speculated about Taylor’s sexuality and then someone from Taylor’s team hit back by reporting to CNN and decided to make a statement that randomly mentioned Shawn by saying 

“That article wouldn’t have been allowed to be written about Shawn Mendes or any male artist whose sexuality has been questioned by fans.”

Because not only was it was just kind of uncalled for to blatantly named drop Shawn, but it was also just untrue. Shawn Mendes has literally had people make post and write whole articles about his sexuality since he was 15. Not to mention before Taylor even had the whole AI situation where people were making those disgusting photos of her, people were literally doing that to Shawn Mendes on Twitter by Photoshopping pictures of him with gay porn stars or with Nick Jonas….again Shawn was only 15/16 when that first started. His sexuality has literally been questioned and reported on since he was a kid. 

I can’t find the ask you’re responding to 😭 I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply! I’ll do my best to reply as best as I can:

But what you said about Shawn's sexuality, it's true. I've interacted with ppl (irl and online) who joke about Shawn/Camilla and say he's using Camilla as his "beard" because they believe he's gay. Gay or gay-speculated celebs go through HELL online if they're not out. They are either forced to come out (for example, Lil Nas X and his underage nudes being leaked) or bullied relentlessly about it.

But the hypocrisy and ignorance shows. Taylor is not an outlier and male celebs sexualities have always been speculated. Her team will do anything to frame her as a victim (in this case, misogyny) to the point where they will just straight up lie.

[wakingupclean]

some musings about taylor, ttpd, muses, sexuality, etc etc

so listening to some of ttpd today, i had well, lots of thoughts of how this album relates to taylor's life, closeting, and feeling tied to whims of fate or paths taken years ago.

so in 'the manuscript', taylor makes it clear that past lives and past loves still haunt her to this day. she says:

"lookin' backwards might be/the only way to move/forward"

which, fair lol. but to me that kind of indicates that this album is about more than her most recent relationships, be it public or private. in this track she also seems to refer to the "red" muse, which can be interpreted in many different ways as to who that actually is. i know both gaylors and swifties have some differing opinions about that, but that is not my focus of writing this. that would actually be:

But Daddy I Love Him

i think that this song is about (among other things) taylor's past relationship with her fiddle player, emily poe. i won't go super in depth to their relationship their relationship here because i know that has been done many times before. basically tho, emily played fiddle for taylor starting in 2006 and lived on the tour bus taylor shared with her mom. emily's last performance with taylor was in januaru 2008. there are rumors about why exactly emily left-- there is no real official answer from taylor's side of things (emily has talked about wanting a family and a career in contract law). but a lot of that speculation is that emily and taylor were more than friends and ended basically because in 2006-2008 there were no gay country stars. chely wright's memoir gives amazing insight into how things were back then for queer musicians in country music.

i will never miss an opportunity to plug the gay as hell myspace video taylor uploaded for emily soundtracke to 'stolen', a dashboard confessional love song: (video link)

anyways. Listening to this song this morning I did that fanfic "oh...OH" thing basically lmao cuz I think this song is a flashback through time and rewriting the ending. Maybe not of this particular relationship, I definitely see it being a conflagration of many different muses... but this is where it began. And is why, imo, the song has obvious country influences on it and parts where it even sounds like her singing voice has regained the twang ??

"I just learned these people only raise you/to cage you/Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best/Clutchin' their pearls, sighing "What a mess"/I just learned these people try to save you/'Cause they hate you"

I think the immediate reading of these lyrics is that she is referring to her fans and maybe fame in general. Which, fair, imo it is a blend of both those things and homophobic Christian American society. Which was the norm in 2006 when she got her start-- and it still is the norm (!!!!) in a lot of this country. They hate who you are, who you love, (you are what you love), and try to save you from a life of eternal damnation. Like the 'Sunday best' line says so much to me for who this song is about because that descriptor would only apply to a small fraction of people who were opposed to the Tay/MH relationship last year. Most everyone was lol

Emily was let go from Taylor's band right before the 'Fearless' era began. This would've been Taylor's first major "to closet or not to closet" moment. A turning point, a crossroads in Taylor's career to look back on. I doubt that Taylor intended to be out at that point in her career, but it was one of those first dominoes falling to keep her trapped on the path she's in now.

This album is one of regrets. Regrets for letting the wants of her family, the media, record labels, and fans outweigh what she wants for herself. Regret for putting career and fame first instead of love and what she wants. Trading freedom for the cages that have come up in her music and aesthetics for most of her career.

So she finishes this song by changing the ending for herself. She switches things up with the bridge and ending of the song a la "Love Story":

"Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun and/Even my daddy just loves him/I'm his lady/And, oh my God, you should see your faces Time, doesn't it give some perspective?" "I'll tell you something right now/You ain't gotta pray for me" (this stands out to me too bc were people praying for her about MH? lol i feel like it was a united fandom of people screaming at her, not praying for her soul)

"If all you want is gray for me/Then it's just white noise, and it's my choice" and like, yeah, most her fans and the public want gray for her when she talks about her love being in screaming color. the reaction to her wild, colorful "Lover" era looks prior to the failed c***** ***🔫🔫🔫 which is alluded to a lot in this album but that's a post for someone else to write lol

and to me "The Prophecy" like yes clearly speaks to the feeling of loneliness and wanting that dreamed-of, out-of-reach true love but also is a way of Taylor like screaming to the gods to let her out of this web she's weaved for herself. to change the future she signed for herself when she was a teenager.

(also sidenote is that i've seen a lot of people re-writing history of tayemily's relationship in the past few years bc of their age gap when like. i get that it's not great lmao and so does taylor, prob why there are so many songs about her in toxic age gap relationships! anyways)

[lightofraye]

I’ve been seeing a lot of anti Danneel posts lately. I’d like to know why people dislike her? Do you think it’s because she’s married to Jensen and they’re slightly envious?

No. Well, let me rephrase--I'm not. Others might be, and certainly that's a popular deflection used.

The real reason is darker.

Danneel has a history of being verbally abusive to fans on Twitter (she's deleted a lot of them, but screenshots exist), even at conventions, calling fans "bitches" because she's claimed Jensen and thinks everyone who approaches him want to steal him away or something. One fan wrote of an encounter at a restaurant (or something) and Jensen was friendly to the fan. When Jensen left, Danneel verbally jumped on the fan, accusing her of flirting with Jensen, etc. It was awful.

Danneel also has a history of verbally humiliating Jensen and emotionally abusing him. She's fat-shamed him and later that year, he became even thinner, not just losing fat but muscle tone as well (which is a seriously bad way to lose weight). She's posted a picture of Jared when she claimed she deleted it and never apologized for it. She's posted a picture of Jensen on the freakin' toilet and never apologized nor deleted it. In a lot of conventions, videos, she's always dunking on him, humiliating him, and never encouraging.

When the Rust shooting happened, she claimed she was scared of flying and refused to go to him when he genuinely needed support. She even told Jensen to never talk about it with her, even though he witnessed the shooting and would've been the person on the receiving end of said gun during filming had Alec not test fired it first. She's never given him proper support.

She's also forcibly included her brother (Gino) in a lot of bad business decisions. Hell, he even accompanied them on their honeymoon, if I'm not mistaken. He was the one running the Family Business Beer Company--which has now claimed to be temporarily closed while they find a better location. Leaves me suspicious that he likely ran it so badly it could no longer stay open.

Danneel's also included her family in a lot of Jensen's business, but deliberately kept his family away.

It was her bad advice that lead to the downfall of the TV show, The Winchester. (Supposedly she told Jensen to use that strange accent, etc.)

She's made posts and claims to be with Jensen, only to have fans mention/photograph him being massively elsewhere.

She's a performative activist, meaning she only does something to get attention and when it's over, she drops it like a hot rock.

She's mentioned cheating on Jensen in a podcast.

It's been wildly speculated that she was not one of the victims of Mark Schwahn's sexual harassment, as Hilarie Morgan (née Burton) stated she recalled a phone call with Schwahn where he mentioned having an affair with Danneel and Hilarie told him she didn't want to hear it.

Danneel also has a history of being a difficult person to get along with on a variety of sets. Neil Patrick Harris stated she was awful to work with. There's a rumor that she had been banned from the Supernatural set for some time because she was awful to the crew and cast.

She allegedly even struck Jensen in front of a PA during an argument.

There's speculation that the scar on Jensen's nose is because of her, not a keg or a slip in the family pool as he claimed (he's constantly changing his story).

There's a lot of reasons to not like Danneel and I've barely scratched the surface.

She's unsupportive of Jensen, constantly wasting his money, never loving to him.

More and more, it's clearly appearing to be a transactional relationship, not a happy marriage, and a lot of it can be laid at her feet.

I hope this helps, Anon. I may make a huge post eventually, with screenshots and citations (if I can!) about her behavior.