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#they decided to kill me..okay
mrsfitzgerald · 1 year
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brussel. links234
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lovesickeros · 4 months
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☆ de fontaine
{☆} characters furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings angst, suicidal thoughts, hurt / no comfort {☆} word count 1.4k
This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair. This wasn't fair!
She thought, for one moment, she could put the mask down and breathe – for one moment of daydreaming, she thought she could just be Furina. She thought she would finally get to live the live she should've had in the first place, the life she threw away to play God to an audience who saw her as nothing but a circus animal, dancing to their whims. Furina just wanted to be selfish for one brief and fleeting moment..and it was gone before she could even grasp it in her hand. A comet soaring past far out of her reach.
She can barely keep her hands from violently shaking as she looks down at them – broken and bloody and more a corpse then a person – and she feels so numb she can't even feel the rain pelting against her back. None of this is fair, she wants to scream, why is it always me? But her voice is silent beneath the torrent of rain. She wonders if the ocean would take her if she sank into it's depths – just for a moment, she wonders how it would feel to finally be able to sleep at ease.
Furina is tired.
But Furina is nothing if not useful, isn't she?
So she forces her feet to move, dragging against the stone beneath her heels, and drags their bloodied body into the nearest empty building, letting the rain do the work of washing away the smeared blood following her path. The smell makes her feel sick, the feeling of it sticking to her hands and gloves makes her lightheaded, but she persists. Because Furina is useful, because Furina won't let them die out in the rain, because Furina won't stand by and just let them rot on the streets like some..pest.
Furina wants to go home. She wants to sleep and she isn't she if she wants to wake up, this time. But she keeps going anyway.
Because it's all she's ever done, and the habit sticks.
An Archon she may not be, not anymore, but the expectations of five hundred years still linger like eyes on the inside of her skull. They watch her, pry and prod at her thoughts, mocking laughter and judging eyes following her as she forces herself to dance to the song they weave with glee. Furina never stepped off that stage – she's still there, she thinks, watching the crowd stare at her in disdain as the curtain call looms above her like a guillotine. She still hears Neuvillette deliver her damnation and salvation with a trembling voice, still feels her hair stand on end when electro crackled like the crack of the whip, Clorinde's blade aimed at her like a loaded gun.
She's trapped on that stage and she never left, not really.
She hates it. She thinks she hates them, but it's not their fault. They didn't ask for this, didn't ask for everyone to turn against them, didn't ask for her to save them. Neither did she..yet here they are, she thinks.
She tries to tell herself she's in control this time, though. She can stop performing her part in this horrible, bloody play any time she wants. It makes her feel better, just for a little while, if she convinces herself she's still Furina, painfully human.
And Furina has always been good at lying.
It's the believing that's the hard part.
There isn't time for her to wallow in her own self pity, though. They're still bleeding out onto the dusty, creaky floorboards of some random, broken down house and she's just standing there as the blood stains the wood. She can fix it – she's good at fixing things. She's done nothing but fix things – try to, anyway – for five hundred years. She can fix a little wound, how hard could it be? Her hands are clenched so tight they ache as she kneels down, wincing at the creak of the floorboards beneath her heels– she hesitates just long enough to wonder if she's making a mistake before she peels away just enough of the outer layer of their clothes to see the deep, bloody gash across their chest. She tries not to think about it – it's deep, too deep, and she feels dizzy just looking at it, but she's handled worse, right?
Furina can fix it. That's what she's good at.
She doesn't feel so confident when she tries to wrack her brain for..something. Five hundred years, and a little wound stumps her? No, she had to have learned something, right? She's decidedly not trying to buy time because she's panicking, parsing through hundreds of years of memories like flipping through a book. Furina isn't made for this, not really – she's running on nothing but adrenaline and she's really not sure what she's doing, but she's trying. And just like before, it won't be enough, will it?
She'll fall short again – she'll be too late to fix it before she's alone again.
Furina was an Archon..used to be. What use would she have for that sort of knowledge? Which makes her predicament all the more harrowing and bleak. What was she supposed to do?
Furina had heard it first hand, that vitriol in Neuvillette's voice. She isn't sure she's ever heard him that..angry before. She's not sure he would listen to her if she tried, either. And that scares her more then anything. All of Fontaine was up in arms about this..imposter, yet here she was, staring down at them bleeding out in front of her, and she was trying to save them.
Why? Why is she throwing away her only chance at normalcy for a fraud? Why didn't she just turn them in?
They were dying – that should've been a good thing, shouldn't it? So why didn't it feel like it?
"Why you?" Her voice breaks as she speaks in harsh tones, grabbing the front of their shirt in trembling, bloodied hands. "Why now?" She wants to scream, to demand answers they can't give, to claw back the reprieve she was promised after five hundred years of agony..and all she can do is sob into their chest, pleading for an answer that will not come. "Why me?"
Silence is their answer, and it hangs heavy on her trembling shoulders as she cries.
Of course they don't, she thinks bitterly, no one has ever answered her pleas spoken in hushed sobs. Not her other self and certainly not them.
Furina has always been alone. Furina will always be alone.
Because Furina never left that stage, never left that moment when she looked at herself in the mirror and took up a mantle too heavy for her to bear. She always finds her way back eventually. There's no one on the other side anymore – she stands alone on a stage, waiting for an inevitable end she isn't sure will come.
"Please," She pleads through tears and choked sobs, clinging to them like they are all that keeps her from sinking. "Please don't leave me, too." The words burn on her tongue – how pathetic is she that she craves companionship from the bloodied body of the imposter? Perhaps she's truly lost her mind after all these years..perhaps she's finally gone mad. She must have.
But their presence is like the first feeling of gentle warmth upon her skin as the sun crests the horizon, like the gentle lap of tides along her heels, the sway of branches and leaves as the wind blows through them like an instrument all it's own. They are the soothing sound of rain against the window as she watches the dreary skies in fond longing, the first bloom of spring as color blooms upon the landscape like paint had been spilled across the hills and valleys.
They are like the faint spark she carefully nurtures and stokes, so fragile even the smallest wind could blow it out like a candle. She cradles it within her palms, pleads with whoever will listen – prays that someone finally listens, because if not for her, then for them.
She's failed to protect too much already, let too many people with so much trust in her fall between the cracks of her fingers like grains of sand. She won't let them go – she can't.
If nothing else, if she couldn't be saved when she begged for salvation from that five hundred year long agony, even if she never got that chance..
Furina will make sure they do.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#furina#so um. looks around. okay look. i know im like THE ts@r1ts@ dealer (censored so it doesnt show in tags. hopefully)#but the moment i saw furi in fontaine the day it released she became my fav even more then the tsaritsa SORRY SHES SO..#this is my love letter 2 furi (making her suffer unimaginable horrors)#open ended kinda in case i decide on making a sequel maybe#furi makes me feel cuteness aggression so bad i start acting like a rabid animal#furina the woman that you are. thats my girlprince meow meow id kill someone for her#playing her part as archon so well but being so horribly irrefutably human in every way..#five hundred years not even knowing what the real plan was. when it would end. knowing if she slipped up it was over.#and in the end almost no one knew what really happened. a select few people know the real weight of her sacrifice.#furina's story was always a tragedy. it was never going to be anything but a tragedy.#and thats one of the most tragic parts of it isnt it? she didnt know how itd end. she didnt know her story was always going to be a tragedy#furina never knew a thing. and still she did it for the people of fontaine and succeeded.#how do you define “yourself” when you havent existed for 500 years?#to be so selflessly human you give up “yourself” to save people who will never know of your sacrifice.#sometimes i think about the confrontation on the stage and have a week long mental breakdown#sacrificing EVERYTHING for fontaine and still. still! the people closest to you turn on you.#heavy on clorinde. she was as close 2 furi as neuvi fight me on this. i bite.#her bodyguard and friend and she ends up staring down her blade wondering if this is it. she failed. she failed them all#because even when faced with the trial. with losing everything. she still thought only about fontaine. oh furina.#do you think she has nightmares. wonders if she was never meant to win this game of g-ds. that her story was always meant to be a tragedy?#do you think she still wonders if she was ever meant to have a chance at a happy ending? a doomed tragedy from beginning to end
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atthebell · 7 months
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@ everyone saying bagi doesn't consider cellbit her brother anymore/doesn't care about him.... how does it feel to completely misunderstand her character
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earlgodwin · 1 year
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THE BORGIA BROTHERS + putting the family's interest above their sister's concerns
"Everything I do is for the family."
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jasonsbruce · 26 days
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shorlinesorrows · 3 months
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don’t be a coward
*aroaces your rottmnt leo*
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funkopersonal · 4 months
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Pls block this person.
They literally found my account, told me to kill myself, not once but twice, and then went into a post where i was asking for advice on my bat mitzvah and told me to kill myself once more.
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So um... yea thats all i wanted to say today. bye bye
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hellonerf · 1 month
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i feel like shit so im gonna pretend hetalia is waifubait
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og i snuck in amesuka
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bitchthefuck1 · 3 months
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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We always see the Yotsurugi siblings wear formal attires – Kongo's funerals shows that more than the other scenes since, well, it's a funeral
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Except Hibaru – for reasons we know – they're all well-dressed, Shikaba aside that is. Even Kuran and Taira, whom we see later mostly dress comfortably, have their tie up and their suit properly on.
Shikaba? Nope. He doesn't have a tie, his jacket is not on, he's not sitting right, he's probably wearing his sandals for all we know. They all made an effort but him.
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(+he's the only one sitting during these introductions. And the only one not having his back straight. He's just enjoying the breeze)
But the eldest they are, the more they dress properly at all time. The youngest seem less enclined to (that being said, Kou and Terasu do keep wearing buttoned-up shirts, Kou even keeps his tie on, even as a kid)(– and Kuran wears a proper suit both when meeting with his siblings and when attending Kongo's funerals!!)(– that being said, he's still not present on the 'diamond bond' panel)
But as I pointed out some time ago, Hibaru and Terasu make themselves presentable before going to see Kongo. Despite him being in critical condition and about to say his last words - they take the time to properly button up their shirt and jacket.
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There is a way to behave around Kongo. You have to be proper. Perhaps, Hibaru and Terasu didn't want to appear 'wrong' when visiting their father on his deathbed, but then again, if they're so worried and want to talk to him as quick as possible (when they're already late) why take the time to be proper before opening the door?
All the other siblings we see in the hospital are in the same position – that being said, for this theory of Shikaba not caring, or being allowed not to care, about his clothes and behavior, we would need to see how he was near Kongo when he was alive.
So far, the only other scene we see them with Kongo is during Terasu's welcome to the family. Once again, they're wearing suits, the atmosphere is cold if not impersonal. Terasu wearing a hoodie and sweatpants plus snickers isolates him even more (as if the white chairs among the black ones didn't). Interesting how he was allowed to wear that at his biological father's funeral but wore a formal suit to Kongo's (albeit that's probably because he was so young. But then again. Was it only that.)
Knowing Kou is here and is already wearing his clothes with '11' on it (one thick line=10, one thin line=1; both=11), Taira and Shikaba must have been already adopted despite us not seeing them (and by such, we can't tell if Taira is wearing formal clothes or not and if Shikaba still don't care)
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As for the family picture; only Hibaru and Shikaba stand out clothes-wise. Hibaru because his top is open, and Shikaba because he has an additional jacket. (There's also Reri bc she isn't wearing the gi properly but I'm not sure what that's about yet)
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The whole point of this post was to point out that Shikaba (beside Hibaru – perhaps(see hospital scene)) is the only one allowed to wear casual clothes and act less stiffly than his siblings around Kongo (or at his funerals). Or not caring to follow the rest acting so formal.
+
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Same when it's just them — they're all nicely dressed and then there's Shikaba not caring much (looking at the 'diamond bond' panel, Taira is probably wearing his shirt not buttoned all the way up here too, and his jacket must be open as well)
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oozeandgoo-art · 2 months
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drew my ocs again. STILL can't draw Taran's human face but whatever, if he's just holding something in front of it we can't tell, right? Right?
Nakey version under the cut so you can see all the pretty textures I put on Haven.
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hauntingsofhouses · 9 months
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mizutaigen is literally like. the first "toxic" m/f ship i've ever cared for. cuz like usually my taste in m/f ships is basically "unhinged baddie" x "badass wifeguy" *
* (see:yen/geralt. trevor/sypha. adolin/shallan. kataang but katara is sane and they're literally so wholesome like theyre traumatised kids in love who are each other's emblem of hope in a war-torn world! so basically they don't count. anyway. i'm rambling.)
and to that end my friend called mizutaigen yaoi-adjacent and im like. yeah you're right actually cuz like hell yeah non-binary mizu and bisexual taigen rights and all the gender fuckery in the show in general
but also like.
theres just SOMETHING else about mizutaigen that just GETS me. like there's a special secret sauce like the pheromones in that one sephora lotion attracting spiders and i am the silly spider!!! there's just something about it!!! it's not even the enemies to lovers trope cuz i personally am not even usually into that (obv it's fine if you are. but yk.)
so as i keep rotating these thoughts around i thiiink it's the fact that, yknow, theyre so similar. like i honestly truly think they could be besties in another universe: a kinder universe where taigen was not taught to hate. a universe where mizu was not born a girl in a deeply misogynistic society or half-white in a xenophobic homogeneous society.
yeah now that i think about it that really just might be THE secret sauce!!! like the fact that they COULD be perfect and happy together, if only things were different, if only they werent themselves.
smth v bittersweet about that's just driving me insane and makes me want to root for them to overcome all those obstacles, to say "fuck all that" (re:the world and all its fucked up shit) and find each other in the end. to eventually become each other's fav person and confidant. who obv still bicker and tease and insult each other all the time but they dont really mean any of it and over time it just becomes a running gag between them and no one else has to get it because it's just between the two of them.
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ichorblossoms · 4 months
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what if i
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24-guy · 6 months
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Max and Richie with the little boop kitty paws. Or just as cats, that works too.
How about a little bit of both?
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v-exian · 7 months
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“Y’know, despite being twins, you two are so different.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. One that stuck with Sunstreaker in his memories for the years to come.
“Your hair is nice and kept while his is messy and all over the place. Fuck, even your hair colour is different!”
His brother liked his carefully brushed hair; Sideswipe said so himself. Admired his dedication to sculpt it every morning until he considered it perfect. Sideswipe also obsessed over their different hair colours— his a reddish brown and Sunstreakers a dirty blond— saying that they were both unique and special.
“He likes sports while you..like to sit on the sidelines and draw things.”
Was that a bad thing, though? Sunstreaker was content to watch his brother play and succeed while he drew. After all, the giddy smiles Sideswipe gave him when he finally relented and showed him his drawing was rewarding enough. He didn’t need metals, he only needed his brother's smile.
“You're so introverted and have like, no friends! He’s so popular; a big friend group too. Don’t you want that?”
He didn’t want that, didn’t need that. Sideswipe's friends were temporary, a thing to pass the time. It was cruel to say, but the truth nonetheless. None of them got the privilege to go home with Sideswipe and hear all his secrets like Sunstreaker did. No one had the chance to make Sideswipe scream with laughter like he did when they were together.
“He’s so smiley and you're just..not! It’s so weird; no wonder no one likes you.”
Sunstreaker stared out onto the ice where Sideswipe, number 13 on his jersey, fast as lightning and his one and only twin brother, scored the last goal of the season, the stadium yelling with joy or disappointment. Sunstreaker watched as Sideswipe threw his hands up as his body was soon squished between his cheerful teammates. It didn’t stop Sunstreaker finding his eyes in the mass of bodies, as blue as his own, from the bleachers, Sideswipe smiling wide as he laughed and waved at him.
Sunstreaker let a soft smile onto his lips, eyes crinkling. It didn’t matter that no one saw his smile except Sideswipe. From across the cafeteria, in the hallways, on the bleachers, in the privacy of their room. His smile was for Sideswipe and Sideswipe only, no one else. He was okay with that.
And when they got back to their room, he smiled once again as his twin hugged him tight, rambling about the game and other things. Sure, Sideswipe has friends, but nothing could compare to the bond they had together. Nothing.
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mahi-wayy · 12 days
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"Ab to bachchan hi bana hai" || Jigra [Dir. Vasan Bala]
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