#they get to be Mr Frodo Baggins at the end of return of the king about everything

[impossible-rat-babies]

in a heap of eyrie and estinien feelings don’t mind me

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Hello! So, I mean, this might be out of the blue, ambiguous and crazy to answer (but it's something I think about a lot, and you touched upon it in a previous ask and would love your further perspective on!) but let's say, at the end of The Return of The King, Grima lived! What do you personally think his journey and path would look like from there?

Grima asks are never out of the blue - I always want them <3 Thank you so much for asking!!

--

man ok - well Grima at the end of ROTK is in a really dark place. Frodo, Gandalf et al first run into Grima and Saruman on the road near the misty mountains as the make their slow return journey from Gondor. 

As they (Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf) came out again into the open country at sundown they overtook an old man leaning on a staff, and he was clothed in rags of grey or dirty white, and at his heels went another beggar, slouching and whining. 

[...]

‘Get up you idiot!’ he (Saruman) shouted to the other beggar, who had sat down on the ground; and he struck him with his staff. ‘Turn about! If these fine folk are going our way, then we will take another. Get on, or I’ll give you no crust for your supper!’ 

The beggar turned and slouched past whimpering: ‘Poor old Grima! Poor old Grima! Always beaten and cursed. How I hate him! I wish I could leave him!’ 

‘Then leave him!’ said Gandalf. 

a man who has never been in an abusive situation in his life, clearly. 

‘One thief deserves another,’ said Saruman (to Merry), and turned his back on Merry, and kicked Wormtongue, and went away towards the wood. 

Great guy, Saruman. 

And the famous scouring of the Shire bit that everyone on here misremembers when it comes to Grima’s whole situation: 

But Frodo said: (...) But I will not have him (Saruman) slain. It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing. Go Saruman, by the speediest way!’ 

‘Worm! Worm!’ Saruman called; and out of a nearby hut came Wormtongue, crawling, almost like a dog. ‘To the road again, Worm!’ Said Saruman. ‘These fine fellows and lordlings are turning us adrift again. Come along!’ 

[Saruman tries to stab Frodo as he leaves and Sam gets ready to shank a bitch. Frodo stops him saying: ‘...He is fallen, and his cure is beyond us; but I would still spare him, in the hope that he may find it.’ ...]

He (Saruman) walked away, and the hobbits made a lane for him to pass; but their knuckles whitened as they gripped on their weapons. Wormtongue hesitated, and then followed his master. 

‘Wormtongue!’ called Frodo. ‘You need not follow him. I know of no evil you have done to me. You can rest and food here a while, until you are stronger and can go your own ways.’ 

Wormtongue halted and looked back at him, half prepared to stay. Saruman turned. ‘No evil?’ he cackled. ‘Oh no! Even when he sneaks out at night it is only to look at the stars. But did I hear someone ask where poor Lotho is hiding? You know, don’t you Worm? Will you tell them?’ 

Wormtongue cowered down and whimpered: ‘No, no!’

‘Then I will,’ said Saruman. ‘Worm killed your chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn’t you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’ 

A look of wild hate came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed. 

Saruman laughed. ‘You do what Sharkey says, always, don’t you, Worm? Well, now he says: follow!’ He kicked Wormtongue in the face as he grovelled, and turned and made off. But at that something snapped: suddenly Wormtongue rose up, drawing a hidden knife, and then with a snarl like a dog he sprang on Saruman’s back, jerked his head back, cut his throat, and with a yell ran off down the lane. Before Frodo could recover or speak a word, three hobbit-bows twanged and Wormtongue fell dead. 

A sad end to a very sad life. 

-

So that’s the canon ending, obviously. A very neat, pat ending where all the baddies are dead, everyone who is broken will disappear into an asylum and/or die take a boat to the grey havens and life will move on. 

How nice. 

-

Alright, now for the speculation! My favourite thing. 

Assuming Grima lived, god knows what his journey afterwards would look like. He’s mentally (and physically) in a bad way after having been physically (and emotionally) abused and starved by Saruman for the last year/two years. Saruman may have lost his powers, but he’s still terrifying force to be reckoned with. I don’t know how much Grima would be capable of on his own in terms of survival. 

That said, Grima’s made it this far. He’s clearly got something in him that’s keeping him alive. Something in him wants to live. It might not know how to go about doing that, but it’s there, and that’s important. 

So he’s stabbed Saruman, A+ work. The hobbits don’t shoot him. The question is then: does he take up Frodo’s offer or does his fuck off into the wilderness. 

I can see him going either direction, honestly. But I suspect, given that he’s starving and in a bad way physically, I suspect he’d stay for a time. Now, considering what’s happened to him in the general vicinity of Bagend, I’m not sure how long Grima will stay, but I do think he’d rest there for a short while. Get a proper meal or two in him. Take a bath. That sort of thing. 

From there he could go to somewhere like Bree or Dale, take up a new name/new life and try and move on, as much as a person can in a world that has absolutely no support networks for people who have gone through bad shit. 

If he stayed for a longer period with Frodo? I could see Sam putting him to work. 

‘I need someone to help me garden.’ 

‘...I know about horses?’

‘Plants are easier, trust me.’ 

‘....Are they though?’ 

Considering the fact that Grima has been dehumanized (Worm; like a dog; cur) and treated as worthless/unworthy by one of the more powerful beings in Middle Earth - and one who was once Great! Who was once wise and wonderful! I suspect he’s going to have a difficult time accepting kindness? 

Frodo, of course, would be generous and understanding, because it’s Frodo and that’s the measure of man he is. Truly one of the nicest and most forgiving and tender people in the series. 

Aragorn said of Grima that if he walked out of Orthanc alive it would be too good for him. 

(Everyone is a lot meaner in the books. Funnier, yes, but also meaner. Then there’s the weird Faramir moment where he’s all up on that “Numenorian Blood Quantum Is Important” nonsense (tell that to your brother who has no blood of the Westernese in him...) There’s a lot of Oooof moments). 

Frodo, though, Frodo is one of the genuinely kind and loving people who would never think such cruel things about anyone. 

But back to Grima, I think the line Gillian Flynn wrote about how when you’re weaned on poison, it makes kindness seem like a cruelty is very relevant here. The first step to healing is allowing yourself to admit that you deserve to be healed, that you deserve love. That’s a very hard thing to allow, to acknowledge is something you are worthy of having. 

And so it would be difficult, for him, to accept kindness and gentleness from Frodo, or anyone else. But if he was doing something to “earn” it, that might make it more palatable. 

Which is a shame, since if there is anyone who understands the power and allure of the dark lord/Saruman etc. and how that can mess you up and contort you into someone you don’t recognize anymore, it’s Frodo.

-

Would Grima go back to Rohan? I don’t think so. Unless there were some wild, unexpected circumstances that brought him there, I truly don’t see him returning home. He’s torched that bridge pretty successfully - at least, I’m sure that’s how he sees it. 

Now if he did. If something Bat Shit happened - and he went back. It would be wild and very emotional.  

A Rider of Rohan, lost in the shire: I’m looking for a Mr Baggins? I understand he might know where Gandalf is? We sort of need some magic help in Rohan. 

Hobbit: Turn left at the end of the lane, go past Grubby Harold’s llama farm, stop at the intersection with the red sign, take the third exit of the roundabout, turn right, turn left, turn left again, take the second switch back up the hill, at the crest of the hill, take the path that turns left at the big tree that someone carved Fuck Lobelia into and that should get you close. 

Rider: 

Rider: Right. 

Rider eventually shows up, Grima’s out front updating Sam on some shit that Pansy Fielding said to Fardulf Braceblower, an ongoing war that has existed since the Dawn of Time. Sam is like “Please never stop telling me all the gossip, I live for this shit.”

Frodo: How did you hear about this? 

Grima: I might have set up an informant’s network but it’s solely to trawl for entertaining gossip.  

Rider approaches: Oh dear gods. 

Grima: 

Grima: Go get fucked, Gundahar. 

Sam: Friend? 

Grima & Gundahar: No. 

Anyway. The rider tells Frodo that he’s after Gandalf because XYZ is happening in Rohan and Eomer-king is annoyed and “wants it dealt with, preferably yesterday”. Grima knows what’s up because you know, resident Spook Master also he was spending a lot of time around a lore-filled Wizard. Might as well get something for the years of mistreatment. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: We’re going on a road trip, Sam. Let’s get packed. 

Sam: I’m so ready for this. 

Grima: But I’m not going back to Rohan. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: Too late, he’s coming with us. Neither of us can be left alone for too long or we go weird in the head. 

Merry: Oh we’re going to Rohan? Well, as a member of the royal court I’m coming. 

Gundahar: .... How is this happening? 

Grima: Hobbits, they move in herds. 

Pippin: WAIT FOR ME! 

Gandalf is UPSET that he has to travel with Grima. Grima says it’s mutual. He doesn’t like wizards. Especially wizards in white. He gets weird about hoarding food when Gandalf is around. 

Grima then has to visit Theoden’s grave and have a lot of emotions about everything and it’s a Lot.

I don’t think he’d stay, though. Either he’d go back with Frodo or he might go on to Gondor or out east or something. Travel for a while. 

- 

I’ve gone off on some tangents here. Ahem. 

But in general, I see his journey going in one of two directions: one where he fucks off after murdering Saruman and takes up a life somewhere else like Bree, or wherever, probably drinks too much and is miserable until he dies. 

The other is where he accepts Frodo’s offer and either just chills in the Shire being the resident gossip-monger and mischief maker (Frodo: NO MISCHIEF. Grima: we can make a little mischief .., as a treat?) or he accepts the offer, stays for a while to get back on his feet and shake off some of the darkness, then goes off to travel around. Maybe he settles somewhere, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless if he stays or goes, it is a better ending to his life than he probably hoped for or expected. 

And it shows the power and importance of kindness and love. Healing only happens if there is love and gentleness. And it’s terrifying - of course it is - but it’s so necessary. 

-

Ok I am so sorry for my dissertation on Grima. I love talking about him so much.  

Thank you!! <3 <3 

[ripplesinthesand]

moments in lord of the rings: return of the king ranked by how hard they make me cry:

1. frodo turning to look back at sam after climbing onto the boat in the final scene. for the first time since the ring was destroyed, he genuinely looks like he’s at peace. he’ll never heal completely, but he knows that this step — leaving for the grey havens — will help ease some of that pain. he looks at sam and he smiles because he loves his friend so very deeply, even as they part, and because some of the weight of that trauma from the ring has somehow, in this very moment of taking these first few steps, been lifted. 

every single time i watch this movie, this moment is like the nail in the coffin. at this point in the scene i’m already crying but that shot of him smiling at sam is enough to make my cry until my stomach hurts. like not even crying but genuinely fucking WEEPING.

2. “don’t you let go.” samwise. sam sam SAM. sam i love you!!! and frodo!!! this moment makes me CRAZY like i made a post a while back about the parallel that this scene creates and i’ll include the pic for good measure:

when i watched this movie most recently, THIS was the scene that fucked me up the most. it’s always interesting when i watch it because a lot of the times i’ll get emotional over a scene that might not have gotten me wound up during previous watches and like. yes i have cried over this scene before. but in my most recent rewatch, the moment where sam looks at frodo, when he gets that look on his face and says don’t you let go. i just. burst into tears. no joke like my face just crumpled and i lost it. 

because FUCK frodo WANTS TO DIE. he WANTS to give in he WANTS to let go he feels guilty and oh so tired and he just wants to quit but sam WILL NOT LET HIM!! and frodo sees that he sees that sam believes in him and he reaches up and grabs sam's hand and then sam pulls him up and that is LOVE baby idc how you define it it is pure irrevocable unconditional love. fuck i love lord of the rings these movies are not for dudebros they are for sickeningly emotional people who actually like. understand the themes. like “this is a love story” phoebe waller bridge.jpeg

3. “we set out to save the shire, sam. and we did. but not for me.” / “you can’t leave.” technically very close to my #1 choice but. the feeling is different. the vibe of #1 is incredibly bittersweet, is extremely sad but also happy with a real sense of relief and above all catharsis. but this part is just fucking sad. the audience is realizing exactly why frodo has to leave and it’s just absolutely heartwrenching. and FUCK where is sean astin’s oscar because he sells it he absolutely sells it. like that IS samwise gamgee and that IS his grief as he realizes that his best friend is leaving him. after everything they’ve gone through together, the pure hell and horror, the pure suffering that they experienced, frodo is leaving him. like that is grief in sam’s voice, pure sadness that cannot be cured. 

frodo tells sam “you cannot always be torn in two. you will have to be one and whole for many years. you have so much to enjoy and to be and to do” and perhaps that makes it worse because frodo knows that by leaving, he is effectively ripping sam’s heart in half. but he has to, he has to, and sam knows that. he understands and yet he is still sad, is still grieving over the abrupt removal of this relationship from his life. there one second and gone the next. 

4. “then let us be rid of it! once and for all! come on, mr. frodo...i can’t carry it for you, but i can carry you!!” you know what? no explanation needed. 

5. “my friends...you bow to no one.” aragorn THEE king of gondor!! fuck this moment is a lot and it hits especially hard if you’ve watched the movies all in one go (as they are meant to be watched!!) because you’re sitting there on your fucking couch and watching aragorn tell these fucking hobbits “hey. no. you’re the heroes and we should be the ones bowing to you” and it’s like yes!! yes exactly!! you’ve watched those damn hobbits go through HELL and seeing aragorn recognize that is SO fucking special. 

but!! what makes this scene tear-inducing isn’t just the emotional catharsis of that recognition from aragorn but also the zoom in on frodo’s face at the end. frodo. fucking frodo baggins. he does not think of himself as the hero. make no mistake; he is a hero. but he does not believe that of himself and he probably never will. in this moment, all he sees is a crowd of people bowing to someone who does not deserve it, to someone who gave into the evil of the ring. someone who failed. 

and there is nothing that we the audience to do to dissuade him of this notion. all we can do is observe. i am going to claw my eyes out. 

6. “i'm glad to be with you, samwise gamgee...here at the end of all things.” well i started to tear up just typing that out so. there’s that i guess. don’t worry though i am completely fine!! 

anyways. as i said earlier. frodo and sam’s relationship is the soul of lotr and this scene, which sees them huddled together as the world literally burns around them, is exemplary of that. like they firmly believe that they are going to die BUT. they have each other. they have each other and fuck that is enough. after everything they’ve seen together, after this hellish journey they’ve been on, it is enough just to be together. something something the power of pure unconditional love something something “you’re going to die in your best friend’s arms.” you get it. you get it. 

7. this fucking scene. 

i just. i hate this. i fucking hate this so much. every time i watch this scene it’s like getting my still beating heart ripped out of my chest. elijah wood kills it here; that realization of oh god oh god it will be like this forever, and all the sadness that goes along with that, is clear on his face. he was probably already planning on leaving but if he had any doubts i do believe it was this interaction that erased them. and that’s just. well. horrific!! 

[solacryptid]

Unexpected Fate

Inheritance Cycle (Eragon) & Lord of the Rings Crossover

Summary: Vilansia and her dragon, Svellevarina, have spent many years training the young dragon riders alongside Eragon and Saphira. But their time of adventure has come. The people of Middle Earth have called for aid and Alagaesia will answer.

Chapter 4: Council of Elrond

A set of seats were arranged in a half-circle around a stone table with Lord Elrond seated just behind that. I was placed in a seat at the end to allow room for Svellevarina to be next to me. I spotted Frodo and Gandalf as they walked in together and took their seats. Frodo sat next to me, his large feet dangling off of the edge of the chair. Gandalf sat on his left. There were other Elves here as well, though their dress suggested that they were not Elves of Rivendell. Dwarves were present, their grumbling voices not dissimilar to the dwarves of Alagaesia. Svell's presence was causing unease among their group, their hands resting on the hilts of their weapons as they stared at her. Lastly, there were men seated within the council, and they too were fascinated with my dragon.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old," Elrond began. "you have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction, none can escape it. You will unite, or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom," He peered at Frodo. "Bring forth the Ring, Frodo,"

All eyes were on the young Hobbit as he shuffled out of his chair and reached into his pocket before placing a single golden ring on the stone table. He returned to his seat with a heavy sigh, his shoulders dropped with a lack of tension.

Something in the air shifted. There was tension now, and uncertainty. I strengthened the barriers in my mind to prevent whatever energy this was from influencing me.

"So it is true," one of the men said, leaning forward in his chair. He stood now, addressing the council.

In a dream, I saw the Eastern skies grow dark. But in the West, a pale light lingered. Voices crying 'your doom is near at hand'" He stepped closer to the Ring. "Ilsudar's bane is found." As if in a trance he began to reach for it. "Ilsudur's bane..."

"Boromir!" Elrond commanded as he stood tall before him.

Dark clouds grew over the city as Gandalf came forward, his tone low and grave. He was speaking in a language I did not recognize as the air around us grew thick and heavy. The man, Boromir, retreated to his seat as Gandalf chanted. Svellevarina growled low in her chest with unease.

"Never before has any voice uttered the words of that tongue here," Elrond said, rubbing his temple.

Gandalf made his way back to his seat. "I do not ask for your pardon, Master Elrond. For the Black Speech of Mordor: may it be heard in every corner of the West. The Ring is altogether evil,"

The company shifted in their seats.

"Aye, it is a gift!" Boromir spoke again with renewed vigor. He stood tall before us. "A gift to the foes of Mordor! Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give Gondor the weapon of the Enemy, let us use it against him!"

"You cannot wield it," another man replied. He was leaning against the arm of his chair. He sat separately from the other men and his dark attire did not match the dress of anyone else present.

"He comes alone. How odd," Svell commented to me.

"None of us can," the man continued. "The One Ring answers to Sauron alone, it has no other master,"

"And what would a ranger know of this matter?" Boromir retorted.

An elf with striking blond hair stood to address Boromir. "This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance,"

Boromir's face fell in disbelief. "Aragorn? This is Ilsuldur's heir?"

"And heir to the throne of Gondor," Legolas affirmed.

Aragorn shook his head at the elf and spoke to him in a foreign language which led him to return to his seat.

Boromir glared at the other man. "Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king."

"Aragorn is right," Gandalf said. "We cannot use it,"

"You have only one choice," Elrond said. "The Ring must be destroyed,"

There was only the slightest moment of silence before one of the Dwarves stood from his seat, grabbing hold of his axe as he did. "Then what are we waiting for?" He raised the weapon above his head as he approached the stone table, then slammed it down.

The axe shattered. Pieces of it skittered across the table as the Dwarf was thrown back from the force. And yet the Ring was unharmed.

Elrond watched curiously as the dwarf grumbled his way back to his seat. "The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!" He said gravely. "One of you must do this,"

Svellevarina tapped a silver claw against the stone ground where she lay. "Surely my rider and I could bring this Ring to the mountain. My speed in the air and our combined strength is unmatched,"

"One does not simply walk into Mordor," Boromir answered. "It's Black Gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is an evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland riddled with fire, and ash, and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly,"

The same blond elf shot up from his chair. "Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!"

"And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?" The dwarf, Gimli, demanded.

The forced tension returned to the air but was accompanied this time with a dark and quiet whisper. Svell cocked her head as she detected it, her wings tensing. I quickly cast a spell to protect her from the influence of this energy.

"And if we fall," Boromir added, "what then? What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?"

Gimli stood to better address the elf. "I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!"

The rest of the Elvish company stood, shouting in defense of their people and the Dwarves were quick to answer with their own shouts.

The whispers grew stronger.

Gandalf stood to address the group of men that had now attempted to get involved in the argument. I turned to Frodo, who had shifted uncomfortably in his seat. I extended my spell to him as well and saw him relax ever so slightly as I did.

"The last thing we need is another dragon to lay waste to our lands and destroy our people!" A dwarf shouted in Svellevarina's direction. She snarled slightly, exposing a few fangs.

"It has an elf under its control, no less!" A man added.

"I assure you, I am under no one's control but my own," I replied.

I heard Gimli scoff as he rested a hand on the shoulder of the dwarf that addressed us. "There are no words from an elf that I can trust,"

I raised an eyebrow. "I would not be present, Master Dwarf, if my dragon and I were untrustworthy,"

"Vilansia, these are petty arguments brought on by the evil energy that surrounds us. It does no good to engage in any of it," Svellevarina said to me.

I rested a hand on a part of her wing that rested against my chair. "It would seem that I need to adjust to this type of magic,"

As the bickering escalated, Frodo shifted in his seat once more until he stood in front of it. "I will take it!" he yelled to the group. "I will take it!" The arguing ceased at the sound of his shouts. The company turned to take in the Hobbit. "I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though, I do not know the way,"

"I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins," Gandalf said to him with a gentle pat on his shoulder. "As long as it is yours to bear,"

The man dressed in dark leather, who I recalled was named Aragorn, looked to him. "If in my life, or death, I can protect you, I will." He knelt in front of Frodo. "You have my sword." The man then stood next to the Hobbit.

"And you have my bow," the blond elf stated, coming to stand with the forming group.

"And my axe!" Gimli added.

I moved from my seat to crouch in front of Frodo, gently taking his hands in my own. "You have our oath, as dragon and rider, that we shall always defend you on this journey, Frodo,"

Svellevarina stood on all fours, her head high. "As long as there is wind under my wings and fire in my breath, there shall be nothing that will stand in the way of the destruction of the One Ring,"

His face was full of uncertainty, his blue eyes wide as he looked between me and Svell. I squeezed his hands gently as I let a calm energy wash over him. I went to join the group, standing next to the male elf. Svellevarina stood behind the rest of us.

"You carry the fate of us all, little one," Boromir said as he joined us. "If this indeed is the rule of the council, then Gondor will see it done,"

The bushes behind us rustled with movement. As he shouted, the Hobbit Sam ran out from behind the bush, stopping once he reached Frodo's side. He crossed his arms firmly across his chest. "Mr. Frodo isn't going anywhere without me,"

"No," Lord Elrond said, his eyebrows raised. "Indeed it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not,"

"Oi!" Another voice shouted. "We're coming, too!" Merry and Pippin shot out from their hiding places and joined the other two Hobbits. "You would have to tie us up in a sack to stop us,"

"Anyway," Pippin added, "you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission. Quest. Thing."

"Well, that rules you out, Pip," Merry said to him.

There was a moment of silence now, as Lord Elrond gazed upon the group. "Eleven companions." He folded his hands in front of him. "So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!"

"Great. Where are we going?" Pippin inquired.

Svellevarina rustled her wings as she waited for me to finish securing the saddlebags. The two of us were at the entrance of Rivendell where the rest of the company were to join us once they had finished gathering their belongings. There was an unfamiliar feeling resting in my chest as I leaned against Svell's foreleg. It was indeed exciting to be a part of something so incredibly important. But I was unfamiliar with this land and its people and I knew better than to trust them outright. That said, Svell and I were to be partaking on a long journey with them. To not trust them in any capacity would lead to unhealthy tension and conflict.

I closed my eyes, breathing deep. I focused my energy as Eragon-vodhr had taught me many years ago. Life pulsed around me, and I allowed my mind to brush past it all, recognizing its presence gently before moving on to the next. With a final inhale I found my centre, bringing peace and calm back to my mind. released my breath and opened my eyes, blinking a few times as they adjusted to the bright sun.

"Do not worry, my rider," Svell encouraged. She nudged my shoulder with a low hum. "There is nothing that we cannot face together,"

I reached back to scratch the scales on her jaw. "Oh, how lucky I am to have you, Svell,"

"And I, you,"

I turned my gaze to the sound of voices approaching. The four Hobbits made their way over, Gandalf and the man named Aragorn walking just being them.

Gandalf tipped the brim of his pointed hat towards Svell and I. "Greetings, dragon and rider," he gestured to the man beside him. "This is Aragorn, son of Arathorn,"

The man bowed his head. "It is an honor,"

"Kvetha, Aragorn. I am Vilansia of Alagaesia and this is Svellevarina," I introduced. My dragon dipped her head in greeting.

Pippin peered intently at the saddle on Svell's back. "Do they make them small enough for Hobbits?"

Svellevarina cocked her head. "There are riders in training that are children. So, yes,"

He grinned, eyes wide as he looked to Merry. The other Hobbit shook his head, but Pippin carried on anyways. "Do you think I could try?"

Samwise's mouth dropped open as Merry crossed his arms. The others were smiling at Pippin's innocent excitement.

I raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at my lips. "You are asking to ride my dragon?" Pippin took my question to mean that I was offended, and faltered slightly. "What do you think of the matter, Svellevarina?"

She lowered her head to face Pippin. "It would be my pleasure, little Hobbit,"

Pippin let out a shout of glee as he ran over to Svell's side. Upon realizing that he could not reach her back by himself, he glanced back to the rest of us. I made my way over and assisted the Halfling up onto the saddle, climbing onto Svell's leg and lifting him up the rest of the way so that he could clamber on. I talked him through how to secure himself in the saddle as best he could. The straps were not as tight as I would have liked, his small legs not even reaching halfway on the side of the saddle. I urged Svell to fly slow and low to the ground.

The rest of the Fellowship joined us just as Svell stood up with the Hobbit on her back. A smile broke out on my face at the sight. This would be something I would have to share with Murtagh and Thorn, for I doubt they would believe such a story. It was incredibly rare for anyone besides a dragon's rider to be placed on their back, and to be allowed to do so was considered the highest honor. Svellevarina, however, rarely followed normal conventions. The image within itself was amusing, though, as the small Hobbit could be barely seen on my dragon's back.

"You all have been entrusted with the fate of Middle Earth," Lord Elrond said to us. "You would do well to ensure the secrecy of your mission. We simply cannot allow the Ring to fall into the wrong hands." He paused. "I wish you good fortune," Elrond raised a hand, his palm flat, facing us to wish us farewell. Gandalf thumped his wooden staff on the stone floor before taking the lead, Frodo and Sam staying close to him. Svellevarina spread her wings, Pippin crying out as she crouched and jumped into the air, swooping over the group. His cheers lifted our spirits despite the daunting reality of what we were all embarking on. I took my place at the very back of the group, walking with Merry and Aragorn. I glanced behind me, taking in the view of Rivendell for what I assumed to be the last time. It held the same warm, golden hue now in the daytime as it did at night. Soft music reached my ears, and while I did not understand the lyrics, the feeling was undeniable: they were wishing us farewell. Gandalf led us through a passage in the mountainside that surrounded Rivendell, blocking my view of the Elvish city. I lifted my chin as I gazed forward. Now was the time for strength and serenity.

_____

Translations from the Ancient Language:

-vodhr - honorific praise for a man

Kvetha - Greetings

______

next chapter

[aion-rsa]

Lord of the Rings Amazon TV Series: Cast, Release Date and Everything to Know

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Amazon’s purportedly billion-dollar-budgeted Lord of the Rings TV series will take place LONG before the events of Peter Jackson’s movies. Setting the tone for this small screen return to the world of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the first two episodes will be directed by J.A. Bayona, who helmed Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.

The Lord of the Rings TV series is set during Middle Earth’s Second Age—that’s thousands of years before Bilbo Baggins, Gollum or Aragorn ever existed! Moreover, the end of said age was a full millennium before the Wizards (Gandalf, Saruman, et al.) even arrived in Middle Earth, which makes the series a prequel in an epochal sense.

Amazon hopes the new Lord of the Rings TV show will be the next Game of Thrones, evidenced by its early Season 2 order. While COVID-19 temporarily halted its New Zealand production back in March 2020, progress ultimately resumed in late-September.

With that set, here’s everything you need to know about the project!

Lord of the Rings Amazon Cast

In the first bit of news on The Lord of the Rings television series in quite some time, Amazon Studios announced a plethora of new cast members. While we’re still not getting any official details on the show’s characters, the latest development proves that the project is a massive ensemble.  

The CW

Cynthia Addai-Robinson leads this crop of newcomers.

The London-born, American-raised actress most recently fielded the role of Ramona Garrity on Starz series Power, but genre fans likely best know her as the CWverse’s version of Amanda Waller during Arrow’s brief Suicide Squad storyline, along with roles on USA’ Shooter and—in a setup somewhat close to LOTR—Starz’s Spartacus. She also had a notable role in 2016 actioner The Accountant.

Here’s the rest of the announced additions:

Maxim Baldry (Years and Years)—whose addition was reported by Collider back in October 2019—is now officially confirmed, joined by newcomer Ian Blackburn, Kip Chapman (Top of the Lake), Anthony Crum (Krystal), Maxine Cunliffe (Power Rangers Megaforce), Trystan Gravelle (A Discovery of Witches), Sir Lenny Henry (Broadchurch), Thusitha Jayasundera (Humans), Fabian McCallum (You, Me and The Apocalypse), Simon Merrells (Knightfall),​ Geoff Morrell (Harrow), Peter Mullan (Westworld), Lloyd Owen (Cleaning Up), Augustus Prew (The Morning Show), Peter Tait (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King), Alex Tarrant (Mean Mums), Leon Wadham (Power Rangers Beast Morphers), Benjamin Walker (Jessica Jones) and Sara Zwangobani (Home and Away).

Interestingly, the addition of Peter Tait marks the return of an alumnus from The Lord of the Rings films, since he was in Return of the King as Shagrat, the Uruk-hai who carried the venom-paralyzed, web-wrapped Frodo back to the Tower of Cirith Ungol before getting into a scrap (over Frodo’s Mithril shirt,) with the bossy Orc known as Gorbag. – In another Peter-related angle, the addition of Peter Mullan should delight fans of HBO’s Westworld who know him as James Delos and his “fidelity” tested robotic doppelgangers.

They join the following existing cast members:

HBO

Robert Aramayo, best known as Young Ned Stark on Game of Thrones, fields the lead role for which the departed Will Poulter was previously tapped. While little is known about the character, he was initially referred to as “Beldor,” and is said to be heroic. Poulter, who was cast back in September 2019, reportedly withdrew from the series over scheduling conflicts.

A24

Morfydd Clark has a lead role as a familiar character, as first reported by Variety. She will play a younger version of Galadriel, the ancient elven Lady of Lothlórien, famously played by Cate Blanchett in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and (in an appearance anachronistic to the novel) The Hobbit films.

Clark put in a dark performance as the star of excellent horror film Saint Maud, in which she played a piously deranged hospice nurse. She also recurred in Season 1 episodes of HBO’s His Dark Materials as the daemon-deprived Sister Clara, and fielded the major role of Mina in the recent Netflix/BBC Dracula miniseries. Clark also notably appeared in horror film Crawl, Benedict Cumberbatch miniseries Patrick Melrose and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Galadriel, an ancient elf from Valinor who predates the First Age, famously used her long-honed magic powers to aid Frodo and the Fellowship in their journey during the Rings Trilogy. Yet, said powers happen to be rooted in her possession of Nenya, one of the three Rings of Power bestowed to the race of Elves; a trinket whose powers come with a caveat since, thanks to Sauron’s trickery, it is ultimately subordinate to the One Ring. Consequently, with the show’s Second Age setting (the era of the Rings of Power,) the inclusion of Galadriel seems to signal a story centered on Sauron’s deceitful claim to fame.

BBC

Markella Kavenagh was revealed back in July 2019 as the first cast member for the series, reportedly set to play a character named Tyra.

Kavenagh was most recently seen co-starring in Australian drama My First Summer and recurred on TV series The Gloaming for Australia’s Stan streaming service. Additionally, she’s no stranger to Amazon Prime originals, having been part of the cast of 2018’s Picnic at Hanging Rock.

Blumhouse Productions

Ema Horvath will play an unspecified character as a series regular, reported Deadline.

A relative newcomer, Horvath made her onscreen debut in the 2017 horror film, Like.Share.Follow, in which she appeared opposite Keiynan Lonsdale (The Flash’s Wally West), and moved on to field roles in 2019 horror films The Gallows Act II and The Mortuary Collection.

BBC

Joseph Mawle will play a villain, reported Variety, whose sources claim that the character will be named “Oren.”

The Oxford-born actor is best known as Benjen Stark on Game of Thrones, which he fielded in Season 1, and eventually returned as the show’s version of book character Coldhands in Season 7. He recently fielded BBC TV runs on drama MotherFatherSon, actioner Troy: Fall of a City and was memorable as a corrupt pugilist police inspector on Ripper Street. He’ll soon be seen in auteur director Terrence Malick’s developing film, The Last Planet.

Cinemax/Sky

Maxim Baldry will field an unspecified “significant” role, reported Collider.

The English actor most recently recurred on 2020’s Season 8 of Showtime’s Strike Back, having recently fielded a breakout performance on HBO television drama series Years and Years. He has been seen on Channel 4’s Hollyoaks, a 2013 guest spot on BBC’s Skins and, back in 2007 as a child, had a three-episode run on HBO’s Rome and was seen that same year in Mr. Bean’s Holiday.

Additional LOTR cast members include: Owain Arthur (A Confession), Nazanin Boniadi (Counterpart), Tom Budge (Bloom), Ismael Cruz Córdova (The Undoing), newcomer Tyroe Muhafidin, newcomer Sophia Nomvete, Megan Richards (Wanderlust), Dylan Smith (I Am the Night), Charlie Vickers (Medici) and Daniel Weyman (Silent Witness). The addition of this group was announced back in January 2020 (just on the cusp of the pandemic,) during the Winter TCA Tour.

Lord of the Rings Amazon Release Date

Amazon’s Lord of the Rings doesn’t have a release date as of yet; a notion that was compounded by the pandemic production delay enacted back in March 2020. However, we do know that filming—specifically to complete the first two episodes—resumed back in late-September.

The series returned to the classic film franchise’s stomping grounds of New Zealand, specifically in Auckland, where production continues. The initial confirmation of that came from Amazon, which issued a statement from showrunners and executive producers J.D. Payne and Patrick McKay:

“As we searched for the location in which we could bring to life the primordial beauty of the Second Age of Middle-earth, we knew we needed to find somewhere majestic, with pristine coasts, forests, and mountains, that also is a home to world-class sets, studios, and highly skilled and experienced craftspeople and other staff. And we’re happy that we are now able to officially confirm New Zealand as our home for our series based on stories from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings.”

Lord of the Rings Amazon Crew

Juan Antonio (J.A.) Bayona (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, The Orphanage, The Impossible) directed the story-setting first two episodes. He is also serving as an executive producer, joined by his producing partner, Belén Atienza. “J.R.R. Tolkien created one of the most extraordinary and inspiring stories of all time, and as a lifelong fan it is an honor and a joy to join this amazing team,” Bayona said in a statement. “I can’t wait to take audiences around the world to Middle-earth and have them discover the wonders of the Second Age, with a never before seen story.”

Bryan Cogman, a winter-tested writer with Westeros work on his CV from Game of Thrones, is onboard the writing team as a consultant, as first reported by Variety. After starting as an assistant to showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, Cogman has since worn many hats on HBO’s Game of Thrones going back to the show’s first season, having written 11 episodes total—the most recent of which was Season 8’s pre-battle character study, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”—and served as a producer on several episodes, ascending to co-executive producer for the last two seasons. He’s also attached to the screenplay for Disney’s live-action adaptation of its 1963 Arthurian animated classic, The Sword in the Stone.

J.D. Payne and Patrick McKay are handling the day-to-day duties as showrunners for the series, having been brought onboard the project back in July 2018; well before Amazon divulged any official details on the series. The collaborative duo have relatively thin CVs, with work on the script to 2016’s Star Trek Beyond being their only non-Rings major entry.

Here’s the officially released list of the show’s creative team:

Executive producers Lindsey Weber (10 Cloverfield Lane), Bruce Richmond (Game of Thrones), Gene Kelly (Boardwalk Empire) and Sharon Tal Yguado; writer/executive producer Gennifer Hutchison (Breaking Bad); writer/executive producer Jason Cahill (The Sopranos) writer/executive producer Justin Doble (Stranger Things); consulting producers Bryan Cogman (Game of Thrones) and Stephany Folsom (Toy Story 4); producer Ron Ames (The Aviator); writer/co-producer Helen Shang (Hannibal), and writing consultant Glenise Mullins.

Lord of the Rings Amazon Story

Amazon has been teasing the plot for The Lord of the Rings series for a few years now. The officially released series-era map not only confirmed the show’s time period, stating, “Welcome to the Second Age,” but bore another bountiful clue: the five-pointed-star-shaped southwest island kingdom of Númenor. An ancient kingdom of Men with long lifespans, Númenor flourished throughout much of the Second Age until the initial incursions of Sauron, which eventually led to the kingdom’s legendary fall (which culminated with the entire island sinking into the sea,) and King Elendil’s arrival on the mainland, where he eventually founded the kingdom of Gondor.

Welcome to the Second Age: https://t.co/Tamd0oRgTw

— The Lord of the Rings on Prime (@LOTRonPrime) March 7, 2019

Given Amazon’s subsequent teases, which recall tropes connected to the Ring of Power, one might further deduce that the Lord of the Rings series will specifically chronicle the epoch’s mythology-setting events. Pertinently, the sporadically posted lines in the teasers recall the Second Age story in which Sauron deceived the kingdoms of Elves, Men, and Dwarves with rings of power that he secretly controlled with the One Ring; a story famously told in The Fellowship of the Ring film prologue by Cate Blanchett’s Galadriel (a character played on this series by Markella Kavenagh).

We could also take this to mean that the Lord of the Rings TV show might showcase the formation of Gondor and the era in which Sauron’s insidious plot first came to a head; events that were briefly chronicled in Tolkien’s posthumously-published quasi-Biblical Middle Earth chronicle, The Silmarillion, specifically in the section titled “Akallabêth.”

Amazon Prime Video narrowed down the show’s time period by provocatively posting maps of Middle Earth, including downloadable versions hosted on the main Amazon site. Having started by posting a label-less version of the Middle Earth map, Amazon would incrementally reveal things by updating the map with land labels, which provided valuable clues about the show’s time setting. The first major revelation came in February 2019 with the release of a map containing a name that’s archaic to the familiar era of the Third Age, in which The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings novels and Peter Jackson-directed films take place.

New Line Cinema

The name on the map in question was “Calenardhon,” which is the ancient original name of the pastoral plains of the region that we know as the kingdom of Rohan (founded in 2510 in the Third Age), which we saw on magnificent display in the Rings Trilogy’s 2002 middle act, The Two Towers.

Additionally, the familiar sight to Rohan’s south, the great kingdom of Gondor, was nowhere to be seen on the map. This was a crucial clue, since Gondor (along with Northern Kingdom Arnor,) was founded by King Elendil and his sons during the Second Age of Middle Earth in 3320, setting up a climactic confrontation in 3441 between “The Last Alliance of Elves and Men” against Sauron and his evil army from Mordor—again, as depicted in the Fellowship prologue.

Consequently, with the Lord of the Rings series confirmed to take place in the Second Age, speculation can begin on how it might fill story gaps of the first war over the One Ring, potentially showcasing movie prologue characters like King Elendil, his son and eventual One Ring-owner, Isildur, as well as the powerful high-born Elven king, Gil-galad. Moreover, it appears that we might finally get to see Sauron himself as an actual character, rather than a giant irritated flaming eye!

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

That’s all we know about Amazon’s Lord of the Rings series. We, along with the franchise’s legion of fans, anxiously await any update that comes our way.

The post Lord of the Rings Amazon TV Series: Cast, Release Date and Everything to Know appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[littlemessyjessi]

Tolkien/Middle Earth Headcanons: Winter and Snow!

Tolkien Headcanons/Imagines: Snow

Plus Size Reader, PS Reader Tolkien Character, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit

Winter Activities!

Legolas:   The prince of the Woodland Realm is all about hunting this time of year.   Yes, it's cold.  Yes, it's dreary.  But man, the game is truly spectacular.   To be honest, he usually does his ACTUAL hunting when you're not with him.  It's not because you can't keep up because you're awesome and can slay like no one's business.  But if Legolas has managed to get you out away from the kingdom...in the privacy of the woods...with the possibly of getting you cold and letting him warm you up?  Well, he's not an idiot.   He doesn't squander such lovely opportunities.

Aragorn:   Lol, 10/10 you're out riding horses.  Probably scouting but just using it as an excuse to get in a ride.   You most definitely did not throw that snow ball that hit him smack dab in the face.   And he most definitely didn't pull your ass off your horse by the leg.  And ya'll most certainly didn't have it out in the snow.   No, never you two.   Noooooooo. ;)

Frodo:   Sweet Frodo Baggins reads you a book as you mill about outside.   You're a busy little bee and while he likes to take him time and relax, he sure does enjoy accompanying you on whatever it is that you've decided to do at that moment in time.   Even if what that is, is probably going to get you both in trouble.  Frodo is in love with The Shire but it pales in comparison to his love for you.

Sam:   An exciting trip to the market!  It's lively even in the cold of winter!  Everyone is out and about with harvest from the summer!  Dried fruits and vegetables!  Jars of preserves! And possibly his favorite!  The fresh food!   Fires blazing with pots of soups and stews bubbling away for sale!  Hot mead and spiced cider!  Sam either offers you his arm or holds it snugly around you the entire time!  The two of you keep warm but cozying up and filling your bellies!  You return home to your cottage with full bellies, baskets of food and ready to snuggle up by the fireplace!

Merry:   Merry probably takes you for a date at the Prancing Pony!  The two of you take Bucklebury Ferry across the Brandywine River to Buckland and then on to the Pony.    You probably have a nice meal there with a pint of ale.  Merry had arranged a room for the two of you for the night just so you can get away for a bit.  You probably mill about town the next day, collecting this and that before heading back home to The Shire.   Adventures don't always have to be half way across the world, you know. ;)

Pippin:   Oh, Pippin, lol.  You are the spark to his flame so whenever Gandalf is near he gets as many fireworks as he can.   Pippin probably gets you all cozied up for winter temperatures and prepares a picnic.  You argue with him about how impractical it is to have a picnic in the dead of winter.  However, you go because you love him.   When you reach your destination and he builds a small fire to keep you toasty.  You admit it's nice.  Eventually darkness is on the horizon and you pack up to go back home but he's disappeared.  Not in the mood for his games, you almost throw a fit.  However, you nearly jumped out of your knickers when you heard an explosion.  You search it out only to find your crazy love.  Soot on his face and hair a mess.  The poor fireworks exploded in his face, lol.

Boromir:  Ah, the Captain.   There he was with his men in a very important meeting when something hit the window.  At first, he ignored it but then again...and again.  Eventually he checked it out only to see your cheeky grin as you teased him.   He scolds you but you only shake your bottom at him and run away.  He shakes his head but returns to him men with a much merrier look to him.

Thorin:   Without a doubt, he's working the iron.    Before the journey back to Erebor whilst he worked as a talented blacksmith...you were his ever faithful wife. On cold winter days, like this one, you made sure your duties were finished rather quickly and you took him lots of snacks.  The forge was warm from the roaring fires and he usually ended up with his shirt open a little.  You'd sit, wrapped up in furs, watching the sweat roll of your beast of a husband and you can bet your sweet ass that you weren't cold anymore.  Also, Thorin - the cheeky shit- knows this.  It's why he kisses you sinfully on those days.   Like a mouse to cheese he leads you to him.   He quite enjoys watching his little wife all hot bothered for him.  Makes it even better when he takes you at the end of the day.  

Dwalin:   Dwalin is out chopping wood to feed the fires necessary for winter. And you?  You follow him...because that's just how you are.  And also because you would rather DIE than miss watching your husband's muscles ripple.   He tells you if you're going to come along then you're going to hurt.  You and he both know perfectly well that you're more than capable of cutting wood.  And damn good at it.  However, you fake it everytime just so he'll stand behind you and 'show' you what to do.   It's become quite a routine for the two of you now.  

Bilbo:   You and Mr. Baggins enjoy some pipeweed on the front stoop for a while before retiring inside to enjoy some delicious meals and perhaps a bit of song if he feels inclined.   Also note: when Bilbo's been on the pipeweed, he's a little handsy.   Think about the lovey dovey potheads you might know.  That.  It's literally that, lol.

Bard:  Bard watches from the window as you play with his children out in the snow.  Snowmen, snowball fights and just flat out chasing each other until you all fall down out of breath and make snow angels.  You grin up at him and his eyes twinkle from pure adoration.  

Thranduil:   The King of Mirkwood takes you for a ride on his elk.  The forest is absolutely spectacular and it twinkles from icicles shining in the sun! The guard is near but he doesn't care for their eyes so he snatches you around in front of him for a bit more privacy.   He simply shrugged when you give him a look.  "I wanted a little more privacy for us." he simply replied and the two of you kept riding on.  

Fili: The young King in Training was in meetings with his uncle and the advisors all day.   Kili was supposed to be there but he'd snuck away.  The two of you waited until they all got inside before you pressed your noses up against the window.  Fili nearly spit out his tea when he saw your ridiculous face.  However, he lost it when Kili's tongue got stuck to the metal framing of the window.  

Kili:   Target practice. Effing target practice. In the freezing freaking rain. "Kili, I'm freezing!" "Good, because when it matters you'll already be frozen.  It'll be deadly temperatures and it'll be raining so hard that you won't even be able to see your hand in front of you face." "If I die from the sickness, I'm haunting you forever." "Good." he said. "I'll make sure to play all your most hated music then." You had to resist the urge to shoot him in the foot. He pulled you into his arms and kissed you beneath your earlobe. "Now what?!" You exasperated. "You hit this target, in the rain, freezing, with me lighting you up....and I swear I'll sharpen and clean your weapons for a month." You'd never loosed an arrow so quick in your life.   And hit the target on the first try. Also, Kili had never rushed you back to the room and peeled your clothes off so fast in HIS life.

Heeey, smoochies! I hope you enjoyed this bonus content for Smoochmas! !  If ya like it, please be sure to let me know in the comments and check out my masterlist! Link on profile!

Love, Mama Kennysaurus

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Love, Kenny

[consortofkings]

‘THE HOBBIT’ FIC RECOMMENDATIONS - My Personal Favorites

I couldn’t think of a way to better enjoy Hobbit Day than to pay a little tribute to just a small sample of some of the amazing stories this fandom is lucky enough to be gifted with. There are many fics I’ve left out and will be adding to this list many times over before I’m done with it. Please feel free to let me know of any of your favorites that you think I might’ve missed as well!

It would not be impertinent to say this is less of fic rec post and more a love letter to this fandom.

NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY by perkynurples

Summary: Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure? Bagginshield. Modern AU. King and I overtones. Novel-Length.

Thoughts: This was either the second or third Hobbit fic I ever read, and I honestly couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve re-read it. It was the first fic I ever added to my ebook reader just so I could read it whenever I wanted, and honestly, I could write an essay. The world building, the character study, the plot: it’s out of this world. I’ve read published novels that only had me a quarter as impressed as this story, and I wish I could pay money for it because I would buy multiple copies.

THE NAMING OF HOBBITS by Margo_Kim

Summary:  There's a certain point where you can no longer ask someone what their name is. Thorin isn't sure exactly when that point is, but he knows that it's probably some time before the person in question saves your life. On the far side of the Misty Mountains, Thorin realizes that he never quite caught the first part of Mr. Baggins' name, and he finds that it's astonishingly harder to learn than he would have thought. Fili, Kili, and Dwalin are no help whatsoever. Bagginshield. Humor.

Thoughts: This is not a long drawn out romance, but rather a short humorous getting together story and honest to god it is unfathomable how many times I have read and re-read it at this point. I could almost quote it word for word.

THE ROAD DELIVERED US HOME by  keelywolfe

Summary: In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End. He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him. Bagginshield. Cannon-ish compliant. Shire courting.

Thoughts: One of the first Bagginshield fics I ever read and most definitely one of the first to make me fall in love with the pairing. A tinge of angst sprinkled upon piles and piles of fluffiness like you’ve never seen before. The pining is above and beyond and the conclusion is so satisfying it’ll leave you feeling smug for days afterward.  

A MOST SENSIBLE IDEA by HildyJ

Summary: Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit.

Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship.

After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king. Bagginshield. AU. Erebor Courting.

Thoughts: In my slightly snobby opinion, very few Bagginshield fics get Frodo right. This is not one of those stories. The juxtaposition of Thorin and Frodo’s relationship with Thorin and Bilbo’s is fantastic, and the way they just can’t not be intrigued with each other makes this one of my favorite Bagginshield stories.

MY FAIR HOBBIT by Erinye

Summary: Take a dragon and get rid of it, take a Kingdom under the Mountain and let it thrive under Thráin’s rule, take the King’s eldest son - as proud and arrogant as you can picture him - and then send him to the Shire in order to refine his diplomatic skills. Or, as his sister puts it: to grow them at last. Now, throw in the Master of Bag End playing host for the dwarf prince: you’ll get a clash of cultures, an ill-advised bet about educating a certain hobbit in the dwarf-lore, and all the pride and prejudice business you could hope for, plus Khuzdul.

A retelling inspired by My Fair Lady. Bagginshield. AU. Shire & Erebor love. Novel length.

Thoughts: Thorin is such a shit in this story, and you can’t help but love him. The way they come together is slow and fraught but so believable and it romances me every time I re-read it. Great story to read if you love fleshed out characters who you want to hit over the head and smoosh their faces together at the same time.

UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED by  mortuus_lingua

Summary: "My dear Mr. Baggins," she replied, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of one of these unmarried king or princes marrying at least one of our Bagginses, and why not my Bilbo? He’s the prime of the lot."Smaug is defeated without the recruitment of a burglar, and several delegations, including one from the Shire, are invited to Thorin's public, official coronation. Bilbo, scribe, and bachelor, travel to Erebor with fourteen other Hobbits, embarking on an adventure that will change not only his destiny but those of many in Middle-earth. Or, the attempted Hobbit / Pride and Prejudice mashup that nobody asked for. Not to worry, knowledge of the plot of Pride and Prejudice is not necessary to understand this story. Bagginshield. AU. Courting Fic. Erebor Courting Fic. Lots of Hobbits.

Thoughts: I was very leery of this fic at first because I thought it might be just a standard Pride and Prejudice remake. To paraphrase a certain dwarf, I had never been so wrong in all my life. It blends the Regency life so well with the world of Tolkien that I was swooning. It seems to hit every single one of my favorite tropes of the bagginshield fandom (Bamf!Bilbo, enemiesToFriends, fleshed out OC’s, and MadBofurRespect, etc) but in a new and lovely light. It’s very Hobbit dense as well, which was refreshing and fun to read. I just can’t recommend this story enough.

COMES AROUND AGAIN by scarletjedi

Summary: Gimli closes his eyes, an old Dwarf on the brink of death in the home he had built with his husband in the Undying Lands, and opens them again as a young Dwarf in his childhood home in Ered Luin. He's returned to the tumultuous week before The Company set out to recruit their Burglar from his cosy hobbit hole. Gimli, once again an impetuous teen in the eyes of his family, must get into that Company--the lives of his loved ones, and the very fate of Middle Earth--depends on it. Gimli/Legolas. Bilbo/Thorin. TimeTravel-fix it.

Thoughts: I’m a big sucker for retellings of cannon, and this one is just lovely. I’m always leery of established relationship tags, but this story does the pining so well it feels like you get both for the price of one. Scarletjedi is also one of those authors who I would recommend reading through their entire catalog as well because there is not a dud amongst them.

A REMOVER OF OBSTACLES by MistakenMagic

Summary:  "Dis often chided her older brother for being a misanthropist. She did it so often it had become a term of endearment. It was true that Thorin struggled with people; he struggled to form and maintain relationships. Dr. Grey had diagnosed him with this and Thorin hadn’t the heart to tell him this wasn’t a symptom of his PTSD, it was a symptom of his personality. He exercised a sense of apathy with almost everyone he met… But Bilbo was different. Thorin actually found himself wanting to know more about him." Bagginshield. Novel Length 300k+. Modern AU.

Thoughts: A long story, that is going take up a week or two of your life, beat you up and wring you out, and you’re going to enjoy every minute of it.

A PASSION FOR MUSHROOMS by Chrononautical

Summary: There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject. Bagginshield. Post BOFTA-fix it. Erebor Courting.

Thoughts: Oblivious pining idiots? Misunderstood courting? A fleshed out post-Bofta Erebor? Mushrooms?? What more could you want?

OAK AND MISTLETOE by HildyJ

Summary: After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer. Bagginshield. AU. Shire.

Thoughts: Pretty much all of HildyJ’s stories are a must read, but ‘Oak and Mistletoe’ remains’ my favorite. It’s a perfect rainy day read, that I’ve read so many times it’s become almost a habit. It’s a very deep character study into both Bilbo and Thorin and it’s impossible to not fall in love with both of them each time I read it.

SECOND CHANCES by authoressjean

Summary: Sebastian Moran can't pull the trigger on John Watson to save his own hide, and what the hell is it with the doctor, anyway? Then Gandalf shows up, meddlesome wizard, and reminds him none too gently of his past life: as Thorin Oakenshield, leader of a company that had once included a small hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. One that looked decidedly like John Watson. And this would be the perfect chance to make things right with Bilbo the way he really hadn't been able to before he died, and that's when Gandalf tells him John doesn't remember being Bilbo, and to leave him alone.

Right. Like that's going to happen. Bagginshield. Modern AU/Sherlock crossover.

Thoughts: I’ve never in all my 15+ years of fandom, ever, enjoyed crossover fics. It’s just not my bag. Which is why my love of this story completely caught me off guard. Even if you’re like me and you can’t stand the thought of it, I still recommend you give this a shot.

BURNED TO CINDER by  ferretbaby

Summary:  A Cinderella-esque AU. Bilbo, a lonely hobbit of the Shire in the valley outside Erebor, gets a job as a cook in the dwarf kingdom to pass the time and keep himself occupied after his mother’s death. One day he meets a regal dwarf, who he thinks is a thief and trespasser, and throws an apple at his head, never knowing he’s just assaulted the dwarven Prince. Thus begins the antagonistic and somewhat odd courtship of a hobbit and the next King of Erebor. Bagginshield. Cinderella AU. Erebor & Shire courting. Hidden Identity.

Thoughts: Unf. Just a superbly fun little AU that cannot be skipped over. The last chapter is missing but you really don’t need it to still feel satisfied at the ending. Has some extremely hot moments and some extremely lovely ones as well. Thorin is an absolute cad, but he eventually comes into his own.

AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT by Wizards_Pupil

Summary: ““This is a trinket I was given at your birth. I have never shown you it as the time was not right before now.” Thrain opened his palm to reveal a golden band. It was smoothed by touch and unadorned. Not spectacular, but Thrain would hardly hold onto such a trinket if it was not worth something.

“The wizard who gave it to me was quite adamant that you should have it when you were of age.” The king held it out to Thorin. The metal was cool to the touch, but quickly warmed up in the heat of his hand. He ran his fingers along it and nearly shuddered. He could feel it throbbing, nearly vibrating with a strange sort of energy.

“This ring is not meant for you to wear, of course. It is too small for you. This ring is made to fit only the person that will be your Sanzeuh. You have thirty days in which to find him.”Thirty days. Thirty days to find something as ridiculous as true love, or he'd have to marry a beardless, nagging dwarrowdame. Thorin Oakenshield didn't think it could happen.

And then Bilbo Baggins popped into his life. Though, Thorin could have done without the cats, shoes, and girly bits. Still, the course of true love never has run smooth. And the peppers were delightful.” Bagginshield. AU. Erebor Courting.

Thoughts: Such a fantastic courting story. I’m always initially leery of AU’s but this keeps them so close to their actual personalities to make it exciting and new while still letting you bask in their familiarness. It’s such an original idea touching so close to the tip of so many other cliche’s while missing them enough to be something totally new on it’s own. Not to mention, Bilbo’s and Thorin’s flirting is top notch in this. Can’t recommend enough!

THE DEEPEST SECRET by Wizards_Pupil

Summary: Bilbo Baggins was a desperate Hobbit.

Well, he was several things. Short, funny, hungry, and tired for starts. Desperate was at the forefront of his mind at the moment.

He would never be at Oakenshield Manor otherwise. Still, they needed a gardener, and as much as he didn'tknow about dwarves, he did know about plants.

Bilbo expected it to be difficult. Dwarves were hardly known to be the most accepting and open of races after all. He expected the garden to be in terrible shape, the dwarves to be loud, and secretive.

He could never have expected Thorin. Bagginshield. AU.

Thoughts: While the author has stated that this was not specifically a Jane eyre-Au it definitely has a similar feel. It’s just as haunting and just as lovely. There are constant surprises to keep you on your toes, and Thorin and Bilbo are both absolutely delicious in this. I’ve re-read it an untold amount of times.

LOVE-IN-IDLENESS by perkynurples

Summary:  Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all… Bagginshield. Modern Au. Novel Length.

Thoughts: I feel like every fandom in the world has that one Modern AU that boils down that pairing to its very essence and then wraps it up into an entirely new package and delivers it gift wrapped to you. This is that story. It has nothing to do with Tolkein’s world, but instead gives you an entirely new plot set in the real relatable world. Still, the characters, their motivations, and even the plot are so close to the real story that it feels like an honor getting to read it.

A DRAGON’S TALE by vtforpedro

Summary: Bilbo Baggins has been a hobbit for many long years and he should very much like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

An old friend drops by Bag End with the offer of an adventure and despite Bilbo's refusal, the idea of only thirteen dwarves and a wizard facing a dragon may just convince him yet. After all, he has experience with the Great Dragons of the North. Once upon a time, he was one. Bagginshield. AU. BilboIsADragon!

Thoughts: First Dragon!Bilbo story and still one that I re-read again and again.

TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF THE FUTURE by authoressjean

Summary: "Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - Galadriel

In an attempt to get the Arkenstone back for Thorin, Bilbo discovers the ring he's been using is the One Ring. Seized by a need to destroy gold, especially gold with the ability to ensnare creature and king alike, he sets out alone for Mordor. Anything to forget about the love that gold cost him. What he doesn't know is that Thorin is no longer under the thrall of gold, and is desperately racing to catch up with him to keep him safe. They may have just started on another adventure, but this one may not end as well as their first quest. Bagginshield. Post Bofta-Fix it. Lotr re-imagining. Novel Length.

Thoughts: These boys break my heart in this story with their palpable pining, but it’s so worth it to see their romance drawn out from the small words of Erebor and the Shire and basically become this grand epic love story that spreads all across Middle Earth.

THE RIVEN CROWN by The_Kingmaker

Summary: ‘We may have won the battle, but I fear the war with winter is just beginning.’

The aftermath of war is no laughing matter. Those who died must be honored, those who are wounded must be healed, and those who remain need food and clothing, peace and sanctuary. With Thorin's life hanging in the balance, it is up to Bilbo and the rest of the Company to rule the rag-tag remnants of Erebor in his place.

Then there is the matter of the gold...

Can Bilbo save both king and kingdom, or is Erebor destined to fall deeper into ruin?  Bagginshield. Post-BOFTA. FakeMarriage. Novel Length.

Thoughts: This story really hits all my spots.  Pretend Marriage, politics, in-depth story, oblivious and pining idiots. It’s my go-to read after finishing BOFTA to help heal the suffering and give me hope. I love the way they fully utilize the entire cannon world to tell a truly epic romance. Please read this if you get a chance.

LAY YOUR TROUBLES DOWN by Avelera

Summary:  An extended version of "the acorn scene." Bilbo sees his chance to snap Thorin out of his madness, and takes it. Bagginshield. BOFTA-fix it.

Thoughts: This was one of the most emotional porns I’ve ever read and I loved every second of it.

SOMETHING BLUE by Lapin

Summary:  Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things. Bagginshield. Post-Bofta. Pretend Marriage.

Thoughts: Short read and an absolute classic that’s undoubtedly included on every rec list, but I couldn’t not include it. The obliviousness and mutual pining are so delicious you could put in a plate and charge $100 to eat it, and you wouldn’t regret it a bit.

KING, COME RED AT MORNING by Tawabids

Summary: Bilbo has heard fairytales of the lost prince of the dwarves, Thorin son of Thrain, who disappeared the day Smaug attacked the Lonely Mountain. But he does not believe in fairy tales until he comes across the dwarf sleeping in the depths of Erebor, and kisses him back to life.

Now Thorin - a hundred and fifty years out of his time - has to confront a world in which his city is empty, his people scattered, his baby brother Frerin is king, two nephews he's never met are missing in action, and a war is brewing right on his doorstep.

And as if that wasn't complicated enough he's trapped in the body of an old man and falling stupidly in love with a gossipy, grudging little hobbit. Bagginshield. AU. Novel Length. Battle of the Five Armies retelling. Angst.

Thoughts:  I put this one off for a while, but it lived up to every promise that the summary and multiple recs had made for it.  Young Thorin is definitely a joy to read, and both his and Bilbo’s struggles never stop being so very painfully  relatable.   Prepare yourself for the angst though, as it’s almost palpable, but it’s definitely a must read.

PRAYERS TO BROKEN STONE by Avelera

Summary: Twisted by the effects of dragon sickness, Thorin banishes not only Bilbo but the entire company from Erebor. Days pass with no word from their missing leader and, fearing the effects the gold may have on the other dwarves, Bilbo decides to enter the mountain alone in search of Thorin.

What he finds may not be Thorin for much longer.

Or: In which the dragon sickness is slowly transforming Thorin into a dragon, and Bilbo must save him before it is too late. Bagginshield. BOFTA-Fix it. Angst.

Thoughts: This fic was made to hurt me when I need it the most. If I could draw, the cover of this story would just be Thorin stabbing me over and over again in the chest. It also has inspired me so much I ended up writing an entire DnD campaign because of it. Please read it if you have not.

GARDENING by The Feels Whale (miscellea)

Summary: Bilbo Baggins arrived home late one afternoon in the middle of the week and the entire west Farthing is still talking about it.

Poor Mister Baggins. He was doomed to be a nine-days wonder no matter what and is it any wonder after a year-long adventure? Even the Tooks haven’t the influence to hush that up, but Mad Baggins seems to have managed to silence every tongue in the Shire on that subject which would be awe-inspiring ...if not for the way he decided to go about it.

OR: That one where Middle Earth seems to be unclear about where baby Hobbits come from. Bagginshield. M-Preg-ish.

Thoughts: To say that I’m not a fan of M-preg is a bit of an understatement, but the way this story handles it never squicked me out once. It’s heartwarming and angsty all in one and I enjoy it every time I re-read it.

Tamâmebrulu Id-Mudtu (Lullabies of the Heart) by rutobuka

Summary:  As it turns out, even kings catch colds. After the reclamation of Erebor, Thorin finds himself confined to his bed. Luckily, his dear friend Bilbo Baggins is on hand to ensure he complies with Óin's strict orders for rest. (A multi-chapter Bagginshield comic). Bagginshield. Comic.

Thoughts: I doubt there is anyone in the Bagginshield fandom who has not seen ruto’s art or stories, but just in case you need to go check out everything of her’s right the heck now. Her art is basically Bagginshield cannon, and her fem!Bagginshield stories are the best ever written.

OF WARM IMPERMANENCE by Avelera

Summary: Thorin realizes he has gained weight since moving to the Shire, and tries to hide it from Bilbo out of shame and uncertainty of whether it will damage their relationship.Of course Bilbo finds out and, far from disappointed, he’s fairly certain he’s never been so turned on in his life. Bagginshield. Smut. Shire living.

Thoughts: I’m not sure is ruto’s art or this story were the beginning of my obsession with Chubby Thorin, but it definitely had a hand it.

BLESS YOUR SOLES by freakylemurcat

Summary: Feet were sacred to dwarves, and Thorin had always done his best to adhere to the rules and keep his feet to himself. And then comes along Bilbo Baggins with his ever bare feet, and Thorin suddenly finds he can't think of anything else. Bagginshield. Smut.

Thoughts: Just the best little smutty store that we all need but don’t deserve.

LADY IN RED by  windchijmes

Summary: Dwalin and Thorin are traveling together, and they find themselves in a ridiculous situation where Thorin has to disguise himself as a woman at a tavern. The effect is more interesting than they both expect - Thorin is openly leered at and propositioned and he fumes about it, while Dwalin enjoys himself playing the big, bad protector of his lady's innocence. But of course, the tension gets too much, and Dwalin drags Thorin away, hikes up his skirt, and fucks him against a tree. Thwalin. Pre-Journey. Smut.

Thoughts: Lovely little Thwalin smut fic that I can’t get enough of. Short, less than 10k, but I bookmarked for a damn good reason, and that reason is that it’s HOT and you should definitely give it a read.

THE EMPTY BELLIES DINING SOCIETY by sam_ptarmigan

Summary: Bilbo and Dwalin have two things in common: an appreciation for good meals and a case of unrequited love for a certain oblivious king. The only sensible thing to do is form a supper club. Bilbo/Thorin/Dwalin. Short.

Thoughts: After reading a thousand bagginshield fics there was nothing that I craved more than a good, solid, OT3 fics with these three and this one always hits the spot. The pining is on point, and Dwalin is so fantastically done. Even if you’re leary of reading an OT3 you should still give this bad boy a chance. And then hopefully you’ll fall in love with this pairing and write it because good god I need some more of it.

SMELL THE SEA AND FEEL THE SKY by Thorinsmut

Summary: Captain Dwalin - a privateer for the Crown - is in love with beautiful, sweet, innocent Lady Norine.

His main rival (whom he is most definitely not in lust with) is the cockiest little man he ever met - Captain Vulpes, a pirate with a fast mongrel of a ship and a bad habit of stealing his targets out from under his nose

....it's going to take him a while to realize they're the same genderfluid person.

Thoughts: If this story doesn’t make you fall in love Nori/Dwalin, you’re just absolutely doing something wrong with your life.

LITTLE INDULGENCES by sam_ptarmigan

Summary:  Dwalin is not entirely certain how he ended up propped up against a tree with his trousers down and Dori kneeling in front of him, but he's pretty sure good things are about to happen. Dwalin/Dori. SMUT

Thoughts: To call this a rare-pair is pretty self-evident but the porn is 11/10 and deserves to be read by everybody.

AND OF COURSE...

SANSUKH by determamfidd

Summary: The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors. The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair. (Follows the story of the War of the Ring). Bagginshield. Gigolas. Cannon Compliant. LOTR retelling. 500k+. Not finished.

Thoughts: I don’t know what I could say about Sansukh that hasn’t been said a million times before but I just can’t repeat enough how much this story needs to be read. I know that seeing 500K words and WIP is going to scare a lot of people off - as it did me for a long time - but you’re just gonna have to put on your big girl panties and dive on in anyway and you will not regret a second of it. It will honestly raise your standard of what you think fanfiction can be for the rest of your life and this is not a bad thing. If you’re still not convinced, here’s a very impassioned post that will help give you that final push: here.

[criterioncollector96]

THE LORD OF THE RINGS  THE EXTENDED EDITIONS

Directed by: Peter Jackson

I know these aren’t in the Criterion Collection. But I just binged them for the 100th time. And they are worthy to be in the Collection. So worthy. I want to gush about them. 

Where to even begin? These three films have had a profound influence on my life: in the art, music, and stories I create and tell or sing or play - or just how I live my life, how I treat those around me. I truly believe that these three films are the absolute best adaptations of any material we have ever seen on screen, and certainly the most amazing fantasy story ever told through the cinematic medium. They are entertaining, gorgeously shot, incredibly deep, with some of the best writing, acting, and directing ever to grace the screen. These films are artistic, and that is why still today, they stand high above any other fantasy or sci-fi film. They are almost Art House Cinema, if you will. Each film is a masterclass in how to do that specific entry of any trilogy. Bear with me. 

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING 

NOW THIS. This is how you do the first entry. Here we introduce our main character, Frodo Baggins, and we get to spend the entire movie with him. Sure we cut to certain small sub plots here and there, but never for too long. We are CONSTANTLY engaged in Frodo, especially that first hour or so. It is all about Frodo and Gandalf.  Then we throw in the other three Hobbits and we gradually get to know them as well. After Strider joins them and we get a feel for his mysterious presence we are in Rivendell and we can finally meet the other three companions. From there on out, we get to spend the next two hours getting to each and every one of the nine. We know where they come from, what they each want with this mission. We know their flaws, what makes them happy or sad. The character introduction and development in this entry is absolutely jaw dropping and spoils you rotten. Most films out there can’t even begin to touch the care Peter Jackson takes with these character. Nothing is rushed. Never. AND THE SCORE. Howard Shore introduces us to themes in this movie that by “Return of the King”, just a measure or a small motif will have us in a puddle of tears because of the emotional weight each melodic theme carries with it. THEN...

THE TWO TOWERS 

...we are gifted with this masterpiece, which in my opinion, the best out of the three. Now, I didn’t always think that. But when I recently binged all three, this one REALLY stuck out to me as THE PERFECT MIDDLE CHAPTER. There are so many reasons I could go into, but the main one that I want to talk about though is the pacing and editing of this movie. So, like I said, in Fellowship, Jackson delivered a pretty straightforward narrative, following a group of people along the beginning of an epic journey. Yet in this one, the group is split up, and we are following, at times, four different stories with very different locations. Yet, Jackson and his team piece these together seamlessly. We spend just enough time with each story before cutting to another plot. Sometimes we spend almost twenty or thirty minutes with one side plot, but it all fits perfectly into the chronology of the story. Sometimes we don't see Merry and Pippin for almost thirty minutes. Same with Frodo and Sam. Or Gandalf. Jackson shows us exactly what we need to see when we need to see it, so that by the end, each of the characters' story arc matches the overall emotional arc of the picture. Helm's Deep, the Battle of Osgiliath, and Isengard are all happening at once, giving the film such an operatic sense of finale. This movie just doesn't act as a middle placeholder, but stands on it's own as a masterclass of multiple story threads. It's baffling how well this movie works and flows.

THE RETURN OF THE KING 

And finally, Return of the King: I mean, again, THIS is how you film the conclusion chapter. THIS is how you tie everything together. The pacing, again, is just incredible because every character's arc and every story thread gets tied up nicely, with plenty of time to reach those conclusions. Nothing is rushed, nothing seems out of place. It's all as it should be. The payoff at the end of this film is SO earned, because Jackson has carefully planned and given us perfect characterization and allowed the viewer’s personal and emotional arc to directly mirror what is happening on screen. And I’m sorry, but if you don’t fucking CHEER AND CRY when Sam carries Mr. Frodo up that mountain, then there is really something wrong with you. 

These three films are absolutely perfect in every way. A benchmark in fantasy storytelling and astounding that all three entries kept the same consistency and the same wonder and magic. I sob like a baby for at least the last forty minutes. THAT is what happens when you handle your characters with care and purpose. Fuck. These films are legendary. Historic.

[garden-ghoul]

return of the blog, part 11

“ghoul ‘can’t tell the difference between anxiety and hunger’ surname”

time for!! the chapter we’ve all been waiting for!! (all the ghouls anyway)

THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE

There’s a large spiky gate blocking the ferry. Our hobbits hammer on it until some people come out, and then start telling them off for denying their friends entry on such a wet night. Apparently Lotho “The Chief” Sackville-Baggins has started hiring thugs to fuck with people?? I want to know if he was sponsored by Saruman or something, or if he genuinely just took owning Bag End as his big chance to be a huge dick. OH. One of the ruffians he has hired is none other than Bill “the Big Man” Ferny! I can’t remember, is Bill Ferny human? Is that why he’s Big, or is it more of an importance title? Anyway, this is interesting to see him as an ‘enforcer,’ since Butterbur straight-up called him a robber. Merry threatens to kill him; Bill the pony kicks him; he runs off and is Never Seen Again. How neat...

Even after our hobbits have gotten through the gate... nobody is allowed to put them up for the night. Pippin yawns showily; everyone nervously eyes his sword and mail. And they agree to take our hobbits in, just for one night. They have to provide their own food, and there’s a lot of this sort of thing:

‘Now you shut up, Hob Hayward!’ cried several of the others. ‘You know talk o’ that sort isn’t allowed. The Chief will hear of it, and we’ll all be in trouble.’

‘He wouldn’t hear naught, if some of you here weren’t sneaks,’ rejoined Hob hotly.

Despite the fact that the Brandywine is a good 40 miles from Bag End, the next day a bunch of “shirriffs” (distinct from sheriffs somehow? an actual spelling used somewhere in Britain? just for flavor?) block the road. While quaking in their boots they read off a list of incredibly petty-sounding crimes. Frodo laughs at them, and Sam gets this famous line:

‘I can add some more, if you like it,’ said Sam. ‘Calling your Chief Names, Wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and Thinking you Shirriffs look a lot of Tom-fools.’

Thinking someone is foolish cannot possibly be a crime, Mr Gamgee, those are the tamest crimes ever. Maybe that’s the joke. I love Sam. Throw an apple at ‘im! Everyone laughs even harder when the head Shirriff tries to arrest Frodo. Well, he happens to be going to Bag End anyway, on business! You lot can tag along, if you please! “Very well,” says the leader, “but don’t forget I’ve arrested you.” Frodo, I like to imagine, gives him a pitying look. But says he may forgive him someday. How generous!

Sam takes aside one of the shirriffs who he knows and has a little talk. Lotho has outlawed beer?? And that’s why there are no more inns. Sorry, what. How can you outlaw beer. How was there not mass rioting when he announced this. Sam’s shirriff friend would like some rioting, but he’s too afraid to try and start one himself. Lotho has been kidnapping people if they try to start anything. The next day our hobbits ride behind the shirriffs, so it looks like they’re the ones being arrested by fancy aristocrat hobbits! A bunch of people on the road make fun of the shirriffs, but Merry threatens them to make sure they can’t fight back. They ride so hard that the shirriffs get tired out and have to rest, leaving our hobbits to go on ahead. Meet you at the Green Dragon!

Unfortunately the Green Dragon is full of ruffians (humans!) The whole village of Bywater (which I assume is Hobbiton’s closest neighbor) is in a bad way: many homes have been burned down, and nobody is out. One of the ruffians in the Green Dragon mentions someone named Sharkey, which is extremely ominous. I’ve never heard an orc call Saruman that, but Orcsong Anon tells me they do, so I have to assume that Saruman is behind this. Somehow Frodo knows Saruman is Sharkey I guess? He’s a very clever person, I suppose. He tries to taunt the ruffians, but they don’t actually care if Saruman is a beggar in the wilderness. They can still threaten hobbits just fine without him.

Pippin has had enough bullshit.

He cast back his cloak, flashed out his sword, and the silver and sable of Gondor gleamed on him as he rode forward. ‘I am a messenger of the King,’ he said. ‘You are speaking to the King’s friend, and one of the most renowned in all the lands of the West. You are a ruffian and a fool. Down on your knees in the road and ask pardon, or I will set this troll’s bane in you!’

Oh yeah he killed one (1) troll at Morannon before getting squished. I mean, a troll is no mean feat. It just sounds like he’s misrepresenting himself a little bit to look tougher. Which I fully support. Merry and Sam step forward too, and Frodo just stands there with his arms folded, looking a bit like a mob boss. I DOUBLE approve. The ruffians flee, even though there are six of them and they are twice as tall as the hobbits. They don’t have swords!! They didn’t sign up for this. All the hobbits high five.

They called for help though. This may come to fighting, if they’re to rescue Lotho (probably a prisoner in Bag End by now), but Frodo wants no killing, especially not of hobbits. The young’uns are disgruntled, but who’s the mob boss here? That’s right. Don Baggins. With this, though, he leaves the younger hobbits to plan the night’s work: hiding is what the ruffians want them to do, so they have a short time to raise an army in the Shire. Let’s start with old Farmer Cotton! He’s stout and a big man in Bywater, as it were. Sam rides like hell for Cotton Farm. Merry blows the horn of Rohan, in the Buckland pattern that says Fire! Foes! Awake! Fuck yeah this rules.

Sam takes a moment to say hi to Rosie Cotton, who I really, I just love her, she’s a great person. She’s been expecting him since the spring, though everyone else thought he was dead, and she doesn’t need watching over when there are ruffians to roust! Personally I think she should help but she’d probably rather not get her hands dirty. I can respect that.

A small army of hobbits has gathered already, including a lot of defecting shirriffs; Pippin rides off to bring some Tooks, who already started armed resistance a while ago. He’ll have to Sneak. Twenty ruffians are surrounded and subdued, with only one casualty. We learn that Lotho mostly got rich by 1) already being rich enough to buy other people’s property and 2) selling tobacco at a premium to Saruman. He built a new mill that literally does nothing except produce sludge to pour into the river, because Saruman is a spiteful dumbass. Sam brings his gaffer back, who has a bone to pick with Mr Frodo: he never should of sold Bag End, because Sharkey’s men have gone and dug up all his taters. I would die for this gaffer.

More ruffians come, but the Tooks get there first. Also apparently the ruffians know zilch about strategy, whereas Merry has observed possibly up to five battle strategies. No omg maybe Eowyn was tutoring him. Anyway they pretty much defeat this party of ruffians too, but with a lot more casualties and injuries. Then our hobbits go to Bag End to find Lotho.

Ugh you guys this is the worst. They’ve cut down trees, old trees that probably grew for hundreds of years. Destroy something rebuildable, like houses! Or better yet, don’t destroy anything! Argh! LEAVE TREES ALONE. As they’re searching Bag End Saruman turns up. 

‘Sharkey!’ Frodo cried.

Saruman laughed. ‘So you have heard the name, have you? All my people used to call me that in Isengard, I believe. A sign of affection, possibly.’

Nobody has affection for you, you horrible fool. Saruman is extremely smug about ruining the home of the ones who took him down, because he’s petty, petty, petty. Frodo tells him to get out, and he kind of saunters sneeringly away. Grima tries to stab Frodo as he passes (in hopes of avoiding future beatings... ::( ) but Frodo says don’t kill him! He has been threatened and turned by Saruman, same as many here.

Saruman rose to his feet, and stared at Frodo. There was a strange look in his eyes of mingled wonder and respect and hatred. ‘You have grown, Halfling,’ he said. ‘Yes, you have grown very much. You are wise, and cruel. You have robbed my revenge of sweetness, and now I must go hence in bitterness, in debt to your mercy. I hate it and you!’

THIS is really good. Go sing “Javert’s Suicide” to yourself.  Who is this man hobbit? What sort of devil is he to have me caught in a trap and choose to let me go free? I loooove Frodo’s role as peacekeeper and voice of moderation. Trying to prevent the spread of Saruman’s ideals of violence in the Shire. Frodo offers to let Wormtongue stayy and rest, because “I know of no evil you have done to me” (it was only an attempted stabbing) and Wormtongue wants to accept but... Saruman tells everyone that he killed Lotho.

‘Didn’t you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’

A look of wild hatred came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed.

I love this kind of shittttt GET HIM GRIMA!!

Grima gets him, and then for some damned reason three people shoot him. Let him be, folks!! Ugh! Let him live! Too late for that. He is dead. Even Frodo, who offered him sanctuary ninety seconds ago, isn’t sad about it. Damn you!

THE GREY HAVENS

The first thing our hobbits do is let everyone out of prison. Lobelia, who was locked up for trying to hit some of the ruffians with her umbrella for mucking with Bag End, gets a cheer. She’s not used to being popular! She moves away and leaves Bag End to Frodo, and then after dying leaves him a large fund to help homeless hobbits. And So The Feud Was Ended. Really I think there are no more Sackville-Bagginses at all, but if there were it would still be ended. Frodo becomes Deputy Mayor. Merry and Pippin clean up the last of the ruffians. Sam is in charge of rebuilding. I’m not sure why--either he’s learning as he goes, or he has had a great deal of talent all along and never been listened to until he got famous. PROBABLY. He’s a good lad, our Sam!!

The trees were the worst loss and damage, for at Sharkey’s bidding they had been cut down recklessly far and wide over the Shire; and Sam grieved over this more than anything else. For one thing, this hurt would take long to heal, and only his great-grandchildren, he thought, would see the Shire as it ought to be.

And he shares my opinions about trees. Yavanna, are you watching? You better be watching. Sam uses Galadriel’s gift of magic soil, planting seedlings where the most beloved trees were destroyed. The Party Tree (where Bilbo used to host parties) is replaced by a mallorn seedling, which everyone is very excited about. That entire year is extremely fruitful, both in crops and in children. PROBABLY both owing to Sam’s magic dust, somehow. “No one was ill, and everyone was pleased. except those who had to mow the grass.” Hehehehe. OH. SAM IS ALSO DOING FORESTRY WORK. I LOVE HIM. FORESTRY IS MY NEW PASSION AND I LOVE SAM GAMGEE.

Frodo asks when Sam is going to move in. There’s been a hideous misunderstanding, Mr Frodo. I’m actually dating Rosie Cotton, not you. Frodo just says “Marry Rosie, and then move in here! Don’t be ridiculous!” And so Sam got married to both Rosie and Frodo. Merry and Pippin throw a lot of parties and swan about looking Lordly and everyone admires them. Sam is chagrined to note that Frodo receives no admiration, probably because his whole thing is not killing people. Frodo becomes more quiet and withdrawn; I fancy he knows he’ll be leaving Middle Earth soon, and is trying to prepare his husband for when he leaves.

Frodo and Sam set off together; Frodo is going to see Bilbo for his birthday (he’s now older than the Great Took). They’re going for Rivendell, but they’re hardly out of Bywater when they run into a party from that exact place! Including Elrond, Galadriel, and Bilbo himself. Bilbo invites Frodo to come with them where they’re going. Sam is devastated, but Frodo is just Too Traumatized to stay in the Shire. I didn’t mention all the times he got sick from magic wounds and also normal flavor trauma, but it was a couple times a year. He can’t really live in this world any longer, it just takes too much. Saaammmmmeee dude

Sam, Merry, and Pippin say goodbye to Frodo’s party (and Gandalf) at the Havens, and ride home in silence. In a great moment of narrative framing, the book ends with Sam putting his daughter on his lap and saying, “Well, I’m back.”

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Lord Of The Rings: 9 Things You Didn't Know About Frodo

If Lord of the Rings is one of the most loves series of all time, and it is, then Frodo Baggins is one of the most loved characters. This hobbit is without a doubt one of the purest characters we have ever witnessed, whether in the pages of books or on screen. But there are a lot more to Baggins than meets the eye, so here are some things you didn’t know about him.

1. Despite the films giving an altogether different notion, Frodo is actually older than the other hobbits concerned, in the books

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2. Although Bilbo adopted Frodo after his parents died, they are cousins in relation, from both Frodo’s parents’ sides

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3. Director Peter Jackson wanted to make Frodo a darker character by the end of The Return of the King, by having him kill Gollum

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4. Frodo’s parents died unnaturally and till this day, the exact reason for their deaths isn’t clear

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5. Sam calls Frodo as ‘Mr. Frodo’ because not only was Frodo the master of Bag End, Sam’s father also worked for the Baggins family for a long time

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6. The name ‘Frodo’ comes from Old English word ‘Frod’, which means “wise by experience”. It also has connection to the Anglo-Saxon epic Beowulf

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7. In an earlier draft, Tolkien had referred to ‘Frodo’ as ‘Bingo Bolger-Baggins’, with Bingo apparently being a teddy bear his sons played with

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8. It took actor Elijah Wood about an hour and a half of makeup and prosthetics every morning of filming to turn into Frodo Baggins

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9. Incidentally, he bagged the role of the Baggins boy because of his creative audition tape that he sent, where he acted out scenes from the original books

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Also Read: 5 Players We Really Want To See In Premier League Next Season

Is your mind blown yet?

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