#they have a new and better dad now so they're ok :)

[s0bk]

new update moods

[todayisafridaynight]

me and my sister went to the mall today and we ran into hot topic so fucking fast it was unbelievable. me and my sister are literal opposites when it comes to fashion. she picked pink, pastel shit like she was trying to be all uwu kawaii meanwhile im just standing here with my arms full of emo and goth shit, i legit felt like daigo and masato with all this emo drip i had walked out with. (p.s. they should put yakuza stuff in hot topic if they havent already because i have yet to have any yakuza related things in my room </3 also hot topic is like the only store i will shop at)

im so sorry to say these words to you but reading this reminded me of my immortal

[daydadahlias]

Yeah, he called himself a "dad," but turning and treating the other guys like babies in your asks and tags just seems weird and wrong. They're all grown adults.

you forgot to put "april fools" at the end of this bestie

[rogueddie]

Steve felt numb. There had been such a strong mix of good news and bad news and Steve didn't know how to deal with any of it.

Max is alive. Sort of. She's brain dead, which Steve understands as her just being dead. A beating heart doesn't change the fact that she, Max, isn't there anymore.

She's just a body with a beating heart, everything that made her Max is gone. The scolding looks, mocking tone she'd take, the way she'd put on a silly voice and call Steve 'Dad' whenever he worried over her too much. The way she sometimes called him Dad like she meant it, like she genuinely saw him as a father figure.

The way she would insist on him driving her to school and playing some of Billys mixtapes. The way she had cried when she told Steve how guilty she felt for loving Steve, the way she should have loved Billy.

But Eleven keeps trying to bring her back. Every day she goes back to that hospital room, holds onto Max with a bruising grip, trying to bring her back.

And Eddie. Steve still isn't sure how he'd been able to drag him out, running on pure fear and adrenaline. Somehow they'd gotten him to a hospital in time, they'd been able to stitch him together- but it's still touch and go. He's so severelly injured and they have him on so many drugs that, even when he's awake, he's not really. There's so much internal damage too that the doctors can't be sure he'll make it.

But he's alive. He's still fighting through it. And they're clearing his name. Hopper and some agents, working relentlessly on alibis and redirecting the blame. Its hard work, but it's working. And it's good news, Eddie will finally be seen as the good guy he is. But he's still potentially dying.

And Steve is so tired. He doesn't even have the energy to be worried when he sees his parents car in the driveway.

He stops when he finally gets inside though, blinking at the three suitcases he'd be given for travelling, clearly stuffed full. "Uh. Hello? Mom?"

It's his dad that storms in, expression thunderous. He's holding the vest Eddie gave him, waving it like it's damning evidence. "Did you think we wouldn't find out? You and that freak, Munson."

Steve stares at him for a moment. He's so tired, he's ran out of... everything. He doesn't even feel angry. Doesn't even feel irritated enough to roll his eyes. Simply sighs, holds hand ok, giving a defeated, "ok."

"Ok? That all you have to say for yourself?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm tired."

His dad scoffs, throws the vest at him as hard as he can. "Go find some hole to crawl inside of then. Change your name."

Steve puts the vest on, ignoring the way his dad flushes red, veins bursting out with his rage. He struggles to get all three suitcases in his hands, but he manages. "Mom not here?"

"She deserves better than what you've become," he sniffs, looking down on him.

"She deserves better than a cheating husband who doesn't love her." He glances to the kitchen. Raises his voice a little, just enough for anyone downstairs to hear him say, "she doesn't know about your secretary though, huh?"

He makes his leave as quick as he can, already sat in the drivers seat by the time his dad storms outside, yelling.

He spends that night in Eddies hospital room. Eddie even makes room for him to curl up next to him- it's a little awkward with the tubes and wires, but they manage it. The nurses aren't happy when they find them, their limbs tangled up together.

Robin looks painfully amused when she finds him sat on the floor outside the hospital, barely stopping herself from laughing when he explains that he was kicked out. She's not as happy when she finds out that he's homeless now but, like Eddie had told him, he has plenty of options.

It's only an hour later that Wayne Munson and Claudia Henderson are arguing about whos spare room would be better for Steve to stay in. It doesn't help when El throws in Hoppers cabin as an option, holding Steves hand and looking up at him with wide, sad eyes.

[pineappleciders]

ayo can i request a male (or gn if you prefer) adult reader adopting tweek, butters and kenny? bc i love those kids but they all deserve much better parents than the ones they have in canon.

masc adult reader adopting tweek, butters, and kenny (and a bit of karen)

A/N: i've never gotten to do a male reader b4 so i'm glad you asked!!!! these r kinda separate to keep it simple, also reader is referred to as dad :)

TRIGGER WARNING: SA and abuse mentions, drugs (obviously)

tweek tweak

first things first, you start weaning him off the coffee. you still give him smaller doses for awhile just to keep him stable and with no withdrawal

if you send him to rehab, he'd definitely be a little scared. so you pack his backpack and lunch and pat him on the head and send him off, telling him to text you if he needs anything

he's always coming into your room in the middle of the night gripping his pillow and pulling his hair.

"dad, the gnomes! t-they're back, AGH!"

"tweek, i thought we went over this..."

it can be a little difficult to calm him down sometimes, so you two practice breathing exercises in case you aren't there to help him

he carries around a little card keychain that you made for him with comforting words and grounding techniques. he carries it everywhere and attaches it to his bookbag!!

you put the coffee pods on the highest cupboard shelf so he can't reach them. he hasn't tried to reach them (as far as you're aware)

you try to smooth down his hair and brush it out but it somehow always pops back up. also his hairline is fucked. so are his teeth. he's a little fucked up in every way but you love him anyways

butters stotch

with butters, it's apparent that negative discipline is not the route here. you instead opt to use positive reinforcement when he obeys and does stuff right

you're not a pushover by any means, but you are a lot less strict than his biological parents.

he gets a little confused sometimes when he doesn't get shouted at or blamed for something he didn't do. like he walks in the door expecting to get yelled at but you just hug him and ask how his day at school was

he's really glad he can actually have friends over now. his friends are always commenting on how cool his new dad is compared to his old one

butters has learned to not talk about his trauma and past. he was always taught to bury it deep down and never mention it to anybody. so when he randomly blurts out how his uncle molested him at dinner, he's confused when you look horrified

he loves to play sports in the backyard with you!!! his old dad never really spent time with him, so he has the absolute time of his life playing ball with you. it becomes one of his best core memories

he likes to draw with crayons a lot so he always draws pictures of you and him like under a rainbow or something and you always hang it up on the fridge. you're quickly running out of room for his art

kenny mccormick

as soon as he gets home and you give him the OK to eat he is eating everything in your house

turns out it's really difficult for a 9 year old to properly grow on a diet of frozen waffles and dust bunnies. you're shocked when you're preparing his bath and he's a lot skinnier and shorter than the other kids

honestly if u adopt him then you have to adopt karen too. and kevin if you want. but preferably karen.

nothing makes kenny happier than knowing she's sleeping in a warm bed with a full stomach. it's just a bonus that he is too!!

like butters, he loves to play sports with you. specifically catch and baseball. he also forces you to play barbies with him and do a high-pitched girl voice

loves to fall asleep in your lap/in your arms. like he'll fall asleep mid-piggy back ride and just snore on your shoulder

always flexing on cartman that now that he isn't the poorest kid that cartman is now. cartman hates u for it

always wants a sip of your morning coffee and waits for karen to finish her food before finishing his. it's a force of habit and it's kind of sad but also really sweet

[gaeasun]

Cut Lawquane was absolutely a Commando

Ok, crazy theory time.

I think Cut Lawquane was a Commando, or least a Commander. But going with Commando for now. But I don't think he was a rank and file clone trooper.

All of the clone troopers i think should be shown as exceptionally trained, but Cut Lawquane showed incredible skill, even though we saw him compared to Rex the entire episode. Evidences are below:

A) Rex is both a Captain and one of the oldest of the CT's, but the entire time Cut acts as his equal and perhaps even elder. He doesn't talk quite down to Rex, but it reminds me of how people act when they're just a grade apart. Not like they know everything and the other knows nothing, but there is a definite difference between them. Also he instinctively recognizes Rex as a Captain, but is not phased by that at all.

B) He disables Rex, the Captain Rex, with a farming tool in zero seconds flat, and does it without hurting him.

C) He recognizes Commando droids, which are typically only used in special assignments. And he also knows that it takes a headshot to pierce their armor. On Rishi it was Captain Rex who recognized them and said they were brand new. So for Cut to already know exactly what they are, especially when he's been out of the war for months, at least implies he could have been on high stakes missions before right in the beginning of the war. Which is also why I'm leaning Commando instead of Commander, because it's more Commandos who go on missions while Commanders are still often with general forces.

D) He has a highly developed sense of individuality and creative thinking, which was encouraged more in the special forces than general troopers.

E) Cut also says, specifically, "everyone I cared about, my team, was gone." Commandos are specifically trained to work in groups of four as a cohesive team. additionally, with these commando units being so tightly knit, the feelings of complete loss could have played a large role in Cut's desertion.

F) Cut and Rex play a game of dejarik, and while the winner is not shown, by the end they're both down to the last piece, which shows that Cut is around Rex's level when it comes to strategy. And Rex is so good at strategy that Marshall Commander Cody, who the commanding officer of around 36,000 men, considered Rex to be one of the best they had in that regard. Not to mention that Cut is impressed with Rex too.

G) Cut has 3 blaster type weapons that are probably the weapons he had on him when he deserted: an older rifle, a blaster carbine, and a DC-17. Now, it makes sense for a farmer to own a rifle, and the blaster carbine is a general GAR blaster. but the DC-17 is the same blaster pistol that Rex uses, that we have only seen used by ARC Troopers, Captains, and Commanders.

H) This is probably the most obvious one of all, but Cut is an incredibly good fighter. Even our beloved ARC troopers Fives and Echo struggle to take on a few. Cut takes on 20 and lives (granted the droids are not top form but its still impressive). He makes three headshots in a row with his rifle in less than three seconds, and the next three kill shots are all headshots as well. he also throws a wooden rafter-beam off him (that might be dad-strength tho) and hits a metal droid with a wooden chair hard enough to break both of them. he also punched one of them in the face hard enough the droids eyes flashed red (and then slightly regretted it, but it didn't look like he broke his hand either).

I) Cut hadn't been fighting for at least several months, since he deserted almost right after Geonosis. so as incredible as his skills are, he had probably been even better before, so just think about that for a moment.

Edit: i forgot to put this in because it wasnt in The Deserter, but by bad batch he already has gray streaks and a receding hairline. guys an old teenager for sure

So, Cut is a highly trained and skilled fighter in both hand to hand combat and blaster combat, he's at least as old as Rex and is not intimidated by his rank at all, he was in a specific team and felt like everything had no meaning after they all died, he has the weapons of an officer, had seen enough of commando droids to recognize them and their weaknesses, is Rex's match in strategy and combat while being more independent.

All of this points to Cut being anything but a regular CT, and as far as I'm concerned he was absolutely a Commando.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

How does The Prototype react to each toy calling him “dad” for the first time, as well as Angel referring to him as a Father to the toys for the first time?

Anon please know I'm SCREAMING.

Being realistic, I doubt a majority of the toys would see him as a dad, but it's our save everyone AU and we can make it as wholesome as possible! So what I think is:

Prototype's overall reaction is always a mix of him internally being close to tears, trembling and screaming and him externally just going "oh ok guess i. guess i have another kid now".

Catnap/Theo was, of course, the first one to call him that. It was when Theo had a very bad fever when he still was a normal human child, and Prototype comforted him when he woke up in the middle of the night. Theo accidentally called him dad before going to bed, and Prototype had to collect himself for a moment.

Theo would continue to accidentally call him that from time to time, and internally Prototype/Elliot did start to view him as HIS kid.

Catnap called him dad again when he was eletrocuted by Angel and was begging Prototype to end his pain, only for Angel to throw themself at the feline before the killing blow was delivered. And Catnap did that once again during the confrontation in order to get Prototype/his god to realize that he too deserves to leave the factory.

After Angel and co leave Playtime and move to a farm house, Prototype starts living with them. It takes a while for him and Catnap to have a proper talk about their relationship and the whole cult thing, and when they do it involves a lot of tears and apologies and years of unresolved issues between the two of them being brought back. After this long talk, Catnap does his best to drop his view of the Prototype as his god to start fully viewing him as his dad, and Prototype is so happy with this.

After that Angel jokingly says "your kid is asking for help" when Catnap gets his tail wrapped around a tree.

It takes a long time for any other toy to start viewing him in a better way after the +10 years of living within the factory. Most of the toys, with Angel's help, stop viewing him as the boogeyman or the guy who'll take their remains once they die and start seeing him as just the weird guy who lives in the farm's hut and patrols at night in search of possible intruders.

Speaking of patrols: Picky Piggy is the 2nd one to call him dad, but everyone only finds out after most of the Smiling Critters start doing that. She's the one who takes care of the farm the most and has been getting close to the Prototype for the past year, since he's always patrolling the farm to make sure no intruders are around, and accidentally makes the birds go away, stopping them from eating the corn and veggies. He listens to Picky when she breaks down from guilt from half-eating three of her friends, reminds her to eat properly, etc. She says dad by accident, nervously apologizes and Prototype (being THIS close to crying because what do you mean he has a New Precious Daughter) says it's okay. She avoids doing it when others are around until Prototype is viewed in a better light by them, and he' I's VERY emotional about it because to him he was just helping Angel deal with their traumatized kids. He goes to tell Angel about it and he's so confused but SO happy. Angel gives him a thumbs up.

Miss Delight is next. Much like with calling Angel dad and mom it just sort of comes naturally to her after living with them for long enough. Delight enjoys asking lots of questions and Prototype enjoys answering them, and then! Bam! He calms her down when Angel takes far too long to come back home one day and she feels like they're abandoning her and oh no she'll be all alone again just like it was back at Playtime. Delight figures having one extra parent is good for everyone in the long-run and hits Prototype with the "dad!" beam. He LOVES it, frankly, Delight was already his kid since the moment she asked Prototype if she could study how his body works, girlie takes no time satisfying her own curiosity and he's so amused by her. Yes girl!!!! Hit him with that Child Wonder!!!! Also be careful because Catnap got too comfy with being a single kid.

The next toy to put Prototype under the dad-ification beam is Poppy, because she was Elliot's og adopted daughter and Angel only finds that out after a whole year, and because PROTOTYPE told them about him being Elliot. Angel drags his ass to talk to Poppy about the situation and the doll is obviously in SHOCK. Lots of talk about why Prototype locked her in the case (he didnt want the other toys to kill her), why he never told her about anything (because she didnt know how bad things actually were for the toys), why he tried to stop her (because he didnt want his only daughter to die). Angel suggests Prototype, Catnap and Poppy to go on a hiking trip, and when they come back Poppy is calling him her dad.

The other toys finds out about that and then suddenly so many things make sense. They dont thing what he did is right but they get it now.

Huggy, Boxy Boo, Bunzo and the mini critters are next. Their logic is that he did a lot of bad things but also he's doing better, and if Poppy, the "leader" of the toys is calling him dad, then he's also their dad! The mini critters have wanted to refer to him like that for SO long because he's Catnap's dad and they all love Catnap, so now they officially have him as a sibling. RIP Catnap's single child title. Prototype is confused by the sudden increase in children under his name but he has the spirit.

Next users of the fatherification beam are Bobby and Kickin. With Prototype leaving his hut more often and with Picky confessing to Bobby and Poppy about the whole dad thing, the bear really warms up to him, esp with him trying to learn how to braid Poppy's hair. Kickin was following them around to "keep an eye on what the Prototype is doing" but in the end he convinced Catnap to do something monumentally stupid and dangerous and Prototype stopped them from breaking their legs and giving then a whole parent monologue about safety. "Okay, MOM", Kickin sarcastically replies, hears Bobby saying "awnt 🥺" and realizes what he did. Prototype is amused until he notices Kickin sometimes non-ironically refers to him as a parent, then he is off again to Angel to tell them about the progress. Angel is not impressed.

Kissy follows suit because it feels natural, as some of her best friends refer to Prototype as their dad and he's actually proving himself to deserve the title (making sure Kickin or Hoppy don't break their necks, for example).

Craftycorn is next. She's a bit wary of him for a long time, but with the toys realizing more and more that the Prototype is just a guy sometimes. She's one of the few toys that actually help him when he enters a dissociation or PTSD episode, and given enough time she politely asks if she can refer to him as he dad because he also helps her during her bad days and episodes. She just drops the question as he braids her hair. Poppy, Kissy and Bobby are also there and they all see him pause for a moment before hesitantly agreeing to the idea. Crafty is very happy! Another parent for her!

Mommy Long Legs still has beef with Prototype from that one time he stopped her from attacking Catnap +6 years ago. He doesn't remember, only realizes it after Catnap tells him. I think that with time, and with Prototype cutting off the other toys when they try to put Mommy into the caretaker role even when she's tired of that, she warms up to him. I think Prototype and her have a Talk about the Ollie situation, and he tells MLL that her disliking being the caretaker isnt her fault. She was just a kid, they took away her choice. She ends up crying so much, because Prototype is saying the same thing Angel told her, and she doesn't know why but having him tell her that is reassuring. She starts thinking of him as her second parent after that, refering to him as both dad and father. Prototype once again was NOT expecting that turn of events and he indeed cries once again because he's just happy Long Legs is finally recovering, even if it's just a tiny bit.

I think that by the time Long Legs gives him that title most of the smaller toys see him as parent #2 as well! And Prototype is happy by each and every toy starting to call him that.

Something EXTREMELY amusing happens when Angel is asking for pizza on the phone and Catnap and Mommy Long Legs are fighting with Poppy over who gets to sleep in Angel's room and Prototype tells them to cut it off and leave Angel at least ONE night of rest. Angel on the phone stops for a moment before saying "uh, please ignore all the screaming, the kids are pretty agitated today", then asks Prototype if he wants a pizza, then goes back to the phone to say "the kids, uh...", and a pause. "... Second parent? Wants two of pepperoni". When they end the phone call to turn back at the group Prototype is just "?????", and Angel tells him that overall consensus is that he's dad #2.

Prototype is not normal about that in the slighest but pretends he is. Cue to him the following 2 weeks going "!!!!! i'm paren't #2!!!!!" all the time.

Hoppy starts viewing the Prototype in a better light after she gives Catnap another chance and forgives him, because our girl did indeed notice Prototype trying to genuinely help Catnap in a normal way for once, and she also did notice Prototype trying to be better. But also she's bitter and she yells a LOT at him. Girl doesn't try to bit an arm of his off because she's physically incapable of doing that for the first year and a half. Catnap has the brilliant idea of inviting her to a hunting trip with the Prototype when she's finally allowed to do that, not expecting his dad and her enter a hunting competition against each other. After that it's Hoppy play fighting Prototype so she can stand a chance against play fighting Catnap, and then she realizes far too late she kind of... TOLERATES... The guy who caused the Hour of Joy. I feel like it takes her some time even after that, but when she does call him dad Prototype feels honored. He's glad he's doing better even for her, despite all the play fighting and the competition between her and Catnap. Dare I say... He enjoys teaching toys how to hunt because it reminds him of teaching baby Catnap how to do that.

Bubba sees his stubborn friend calling Prototype "dad" and is just. Confused. I mean, he appreciates the fact the guy is proving himself to be decent, because otherwise Bubba would have already made a plan to get rid of him in order to protect his #1 parent, but also what the hell! And then he decides to follow his favorite sister (Miss Delight) because Prototype has been teaching her some things regarding the experiments, and Bubba has a hard time keeping track of the "class" until this triggers a dissociation episode. Both Delight and Prototype are able to calm him down, and then after that Bubba has a Talk with the big guy, because "how can you keep track of your own mind after everything that's been happening, because I can't and this is bothering me for far too long and I really REALLY need to go back to normal-", only for Prototype to tell him that. He can't. He can't just bounce back to being like before. And Bubba is annoyed, because Angel told him exactly that, and then he asks what he's even supposed to do now. "Adapt to how you are changing", Prototype tells him.

It also takes Bubba some more time, but after many long conversations with Prototype about mental health and what he should do, he tells the big guy he is truly deseving to be the group's second parent and Angel's helper. Prototype is pretty honest and tells him this is what he has been trying to be since he agreed to leave Playtime co, and although they don't share a hug, Prototype gives him a pat.

Dogday... Is very torn on the idea. In one hand he spent months in pain due to Catnap believing the guy to be his god, on the other hand said guy is actually owning up to his mistakes and helping Dogday's single parent take care of everyone. Dogday thanks the Prototype for helping Picky, but only refers to him as his parent I think two years after Prototype starts doing progress, when all other Smiling Critters agree on him now deserving the title. Prototype feels like he just received a medal of honor from the kid he felt has been one of the most hurt by his inability to talk with Catnap, and although glad he's NERVOUS because what if he dissapoints the kid. What if he fails as a parent. What if things don't get better, etc etc, but Dogday genuinely sees him as someone who's doing his best, and although calling him "dad" still feels too weird sometimes he's happy with that. Because things got better for everyone, and now Dogday feels truly safe in the little heaven they all built as a family. Probably gives Prototype the tightest hug he's capable of giving because frankly Dogday is just. Happy. There's no other word for that, just pure genuine happiness.

Prototype is extremely glad and may or may have not given Dogday a pat in order to say thank you. Prototype wanted the title for so long, and after Dogday's approval it feels like he actually is doing better for everyone.

I think that's everyone! This post was longer than expected but anyways, hope this is cohesive enough! Thank you for the ask and free brainrot <3

[dreamofbecoming]

yeah alright this got away from me. posting in pieces, part one is just stobin, no shippy stuff. steddie and rockie to follow. i'll drop it on ao3 once all 3 parts are done

now on ao3!

platonic stobin

rating: t

wc: 3.5k

---

Robin stopped being surprised by Steve Harrington showing up at her bedroom window months ago. Jesus, there's a sentence her 16 year old self wouldn't fucking believe for a second. The Hair, climbing up the trellis her dad built for the roses her mom planted and then forgot about three months later? Yeah right, as if. But it turns out alternate dimensions and sci-fi movie monsters and Russian conspiracies in Bumfuck, Nowhere, USA are all real, so how surprising really is The King himself, collapsing through her window with all the grace of a baby giraffe, out of breath like he- holy shit, did he fucking run here?

"Dingus, did you run here? What the hell?"

"Had to- hang on, Jesus. Holy shit." He bends over, hands on his knees, panting like he just ran a marathon. Which, she guesses, he almost did.

"You have a car, you lunatic, what could possibly be so important?"

"Didn't think about it. Had to get here."

"Is someone dead?!" Oh fuck, Is the Upside Down back? Oh shit, oh no, it can't be back, right? Superhero girl closed the gates! Right?! Oh god, oh no, oh fuck, it's back, the Russians are back, they realized they couldn't let her live after what she's seen, her parents will never even know what happened to her, and they'll kill Dingus too, and dorky little Henderson, and that menace Erica, oh god, they're gonna die, and Hopper's gone and superhero girl is far away and she doesn't have superpowers anymore anyway, which is frankly bogus because what the hell, Robin never even got to hang out with a real live magic person before, which, ok, that's a selfish thought, but that's ok, we can think selfish thoughts and then set them aside and not act on them, thoughts are not actions, thoughts happen all the time without our consent, they don't determine our character-

"Bobs, you're spiraling. Nothing bad happened, I just realized something and I freaked out and I had to talk to you right away. Forgot to call. Sorry, I should have called. Ran straight out of the house. I don't even think my shoes match, what the fuck?"

She's gonna kill him, she really is.

She loves him so much.

"Jesus, you're insane. Sit, you absolute dweeb. I'm getting you some water, when I get back you can tell me what the hell is going on."

He's sitting on her bed when she gets back upstairs, staring at something in his hands. Christ, his hands are shaking. What the fuck, Dingus?

He takes the water and downs it in one go- ugh, sports guys- then flops onto his back and covers his eyes with a miserable groan.

"I know we've got the whole twin telepathy thing going on, bubba, but I'm gonna need at least a little bit to work with here. Give me something. Is it your parents? The kids? Uh, what was her name? From Thursday? Janice?"

"Janine, and no. Ugh. Here." The arm not covering his eyes flops out towards her, holding- ah. A zine. He had promised to drive up to Indy last weekend to the secret bookshop she told him about and get her some new ones, even though she couldn't go with him because her cousin Randy got caught cheating on his fiancée and her parents made her come with the rest of the family to help him move. Fucking Randy. Maybe he should make better choices, so the rest of them wouldn't have to clean up his messes. Jerk.

Anyway.

"Marked the page." Which, yep, there's a purple paper clip stuck to a page near the middle, because Steve knows how much she hates people who dogear books, even books that aren't really books at all, so he's been training himself out of it, because he's sort of the best. Again, 16 year old Robin would have her committed for thinking that, but here we are.

The pamphlet isn't one of the periodicals she sent him for, so he must have picked it up on his own. It looks handmade, just some folded sheets that look like they came out of a typewriter, bound with the kind of twine you can buy at the hardware store. It's called Awakenings. The page he's marked looks like a personal essay, no title, no real signature, just a pair of initials at the end of the page and a half of writing. She starts reading, trying to figure out what the hell spooked Steve so bad.

"I've always been normal. I've always had crushes on men, just like the other girls. There was never a feeling of "I'm different," or "Oh, this is wrong." There was never anything to think very hard about. I'd giggle and blush when the boys looked over at us on the playground, same as everyone else. Later on when I was older I looked at my poster of Harrison Ford, shirtless and hairy and sweating, and I touched myself, and it felt good, just like it was supposed to. I didn't mind thinking of my future husband, and our future kids, and the pretty house with the pretty garden we'd have, just like my parents have, just like they wanted for me. I was normal. Everything was fine.

I thought everything about me was normal. So I didn't understand why the other girls at sleepover parties would giggle and stop and say "Ew, gross!" when we practiced kissing. It felt nice! I wanted to keep going! But it seemed like no one else did. I didn't understand why none of them talked about getting butterflies in their stomach when Laura, who was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, transferred in our senior year, why they seemed so angry at her. Those butterflies were what jealousy felt like, right? So why did the other girls seem to feel so different?

I made my first lesbian friend in college, on the very first day, right across the hall in my dorm. We sat next to each other at Orientation and I thought I'd never have another best friend that wonderful in my whole life, so I'd hold on to her with everything I had. She came out to me the night before Christmas break, hiding under the blankets in my dorm room with the twinkling lights glowing. She was so scared. I held her and told her I loved her no matter what, and she seemed so glad, to have someone to talk to.

When she talked about falling in love with girls, I was so confused. The way she described it sounded like what it felt like to have girlfriends, I was sure. I felt that all the time. I asked her if she was sure she was gay, and she looked so shocked and angry and hurt, and I didn't know how to fix it, so I tried to explain. That what she felt couldn't be liking girls, because I felt that too, and I was normal. I liked boys, so I couldn't be gay. I couldn't be.

I'm glad it was her I said all that to. If someone else had told me about being bisexual, I think I would have hated them. I would have cried, and screamed, and said horrible things. Because I wasn't gay, I was normal, and it was so scary to think that might be a lie. Thank God it was her, my best friend in the world, who I never want to lose. Thank God I listened.

Because I'm not normal. I'm queer. I like men, and I like women. I can love them both the same, but it doesn't matter anymore, because I love her. I love her, and she loves me, and I don't need to be normal anymore."

Robin's face feels wet, which probably means she's crying. She cries a lot, reading these sorts of stories, in the zines she has to keep hidden under her bed, or, these days, at Steve's house. It's never going to be her, she knows. Not here in Hawkins, but it still makes something ache deep inside her, like pressing on a bruise, but in a good way, seeing love happen to other people. People like her. Seeing that it can.

"So?"

Oh shit. Right, Dingus. They're about him right now. Something about this essay in particular freaked him out.

"Uh. It's. A nice essay? I'm glad things worked out for them?"

Stevie lets out a pathetic whine, sort of like back at Scoops when he earned a particularly bad tally on the You Suck board. "Robbiiiiiiieeeee!"

"I'm sorry! I think I'm missing something, what's wrong with this essay? I don't get it, bubba, I'm sorry. I need some context." She does feel bad. Usually she can pluck whatever's bothering him right out of his brain and into the light, where it almost never looks as bad, but she's at a loss right now.

He's got both hands over his face again, and his response is so muffled she can't make out a word.

"Try again in human sounds, please."

"Ugh! I thought everyone felt like that!"

Huh? "Felt like...what, exactly?"

"Like that!" He flails wildly at the pamphlet in her hands. He's sitting up now, hair all askew from tugging at it, and there's a vaguely worrying crazed look in his eye, like right before he tackled that guard. "Like kissing boys and girls both feel nice, and like seeing a handsome guy and feeling jealous of him makes my stomach flutter, and like having friends feels the same as having crushes! I thought that was just how everyone felt all the time!"

Oh.

Oh.

Oh no.

Poor Dingus! No wonder he panicked and ran here like a crazy person!

"Stevie, can I hug you? Please?" She's not much for physical touch most of the time, but Steve is, and also she's found in the last few months that she doesn't mind so much when it's him. She sort of understands why other people like hugs so much, if they always feel like hugging Steve feels for her. And she really thinks he needs to be hugged, right now.

He nods miserably. She drapes her arms around his shoulders and holds on as tight as she can, hauling him sideways until he's practically laying down on her. He clutches her back and buries his face in her shoulder. She can feel her neck getting wet with tears, a sensation that would normally make her want to claw off her own skin, but this isn't about her. Dingus needs her.

"It's ok, bubba. I'm so sorry. I know how scary this is. When I first figured out I had a crush on Linda Sanderson I cried so hard I threw up, you know? I get it. It's gonna be ok, I promise. We'll make it ok. We faced down evil Russians and giant meat monsters, what's a little sexuality crisis, huh? We got this! We're the goddamn Wonder Twins!"

He snorts at that, which she's pretty sure leaves snot on her neck, which. Ew. Still. Problems for Later Robin.

"We are not, Will and El are the Wonder Twins."

"Uh, nope, no chance, I barely even met them so therefore I am vetoing their application. Sorry kiddos, better luck next time! Find your own nickname, losers!"

Steve sits back, laughing, and she preens a little at being able to bring him back from the brink so easily. She loves him so much she feels like she's glowing with it, sometimes. It almost makes her wish she was straight, because what girl is she ever going to find who loves her this much? But only almost, because. Well. Girls, amiright? Phew.

"So what now, Stevie? You wanna say it out loud? That helps, sometimes. You wanna not say it out loud? You wanna go to a gay bar and find you a boy? You wanna never think about it again? It's totally your call."

"Say it out loud, huh?"

"Hm. It took me like a month, and then the first time I could only say it sitting in the back of my closet with the bedroom door locked and the closet door closed, and I could only whisper it. Just "I'm a lesbian," to myself, like the world's most ironic little goblin. And I had to throw up again after. But it did feel good, once I rinsed my mouth out, anyway. Cleansing, you know? And it gets easier every time." Steve's eyebrows are raised and he's chuckling again, so that's a win. She's not lying, but it is sort of funny, she supposes. In hindsight, anyway.

"Ok. Ok, I can do that. I think. Yeah, I can do that."

She's so proud of him. He's the bravest person she's ever met, she thinks. "You wanna get in the closet?"

"Isn't the whole point to come out of the closet, Robs?" He's smirking at her. Bastard. She whacks him in the shoulder on principle. He may be having a crisis, but he's still a jackass. Her favorite jackass in the whole world, but still.

"Har har, you're a regular Bob Hope. Alright then, bigshot, let's hear it."

A little of that fear creeps back onto his face, and she wishes she could wipe it off, but that's not how this works. They can't make the scary things less scary. He couldn't make the Russians less terrifying, but he could hold her hand and make her laugh and carry some of that fear with her. She can do that for him now, too.

She grabs his hand, and he clutches back tightly. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm...fuck. Ok. Ok, I can do this. I'm...bisexual." The air leaves him in a big whoosh, and he laughs a little. "Yeah, ok, fuck. I'm bisexual. Holy shit, Robbie, I'm bisexual!"

"Hell yeah you are!" She's grinning so hard her cheeks hurt. She's so fucking proud of him.

He's laughing again, a little hysterically, and he hugs her tight again, and she holds him back just as close and thinks oh, he's like me. I'm not alone. I have Steve, and he's like me, and he's mine forever and ever.

When they separate, she looks at him seriously.

"So do you, like, want this to be a thing? Because we can totally make it a thing, and like, get me a fake ID and go to a gay bar and do all kinds of wild shit if you want, but we don't have to, you know? If you need to just, like. Digest this, for a while. It's totally up to you, I just know it took me a while to feel ok with it, and I have no idea if it's different for you but I just want to be what you need, you know? You've been so good with me, and I've never had a queer friend before, so I don't know how, but I want to be just as good to you. You're my Dingus and I love you and I don't know how much of a gay guru I can be on account of, you know, I've never met any gay people besides me and the pretty lady at the bookstore but I couldn't even get real human words to come out of my mouth when I tried to talk to her so I don't think that counts, you know? But I still wanna help! Let me help!"

"Bobbie! Bobbie breathe, you're gonna pass out. I don't think I need a gay guru, I just need a gay best friend, and I have that, so I promise I'm good, ok? Promise. Also I love you too.”

She takes a deep breath, following his lead the way they worked out in the horrible days after Starcourt, when she couldn't sleep without him next to her, warm and alive and breathing, and even then she would wake up in the night with her breath coming short and her vision tunneling and Steve would hold her hand against his chest and breathe slowly, in and out, until she could follow him, and the world wasn't so terrible and scary and loud anymore.

She still thinks about that awful hour underground, thinking she was strapped to the corpse of a boy she never let become her friend, but Steve is always there now when she needs him, and he never complains when she grabs his wrist or puts her head on his chest to make absolutely sure that big, stupid heart is still beating.

When she's breathing normally again, he drops their joined hands down between them, toying idly with the chain linking her ring to her bracelet. "I think...I think I'm glad I said it, and I'm glad we talked about it, but can we maybe just...put it away, for a while? Like it's not...ugh. I guess this is kind of shitty to say, so like, hit me if you want, I guess, but I kind of don't think it matters right now?"

"No no, that makes perfect sense! Like, you still like girls, right?" He nods. "And you don't like. Have a crush on any boys right now. Or do you? Oh man if you do you have to tell me though, it's platonic soulmate law. It's in the bylaws, Steve, don't make me soulmate fine you!"

He laughs and shoves her face away. "Jesus, Rob, no! I don't have a crush on any guys, who would I even crush on in this town? We're not exactly swimming in eligible bachelors. I don't have a crush on anybody at all, I'd tell you, I swear. I know the rules!"

"Oh phew, good. You have to tell me when you do, though, I'm way excited to get you back for making fun of Tammy."

"It was the God's honest truth, Bobbie! She sings like a muppet!"

"Oh my god, shut up, Dingus! Ugh! As I was saying, you super duper have to tell me when you do, but for now, I think maybe you don't have to think about it really at all if you don't want. I mean, practically speaking, it's not really relevant to your everyday life, so we can totally revisit when that changes, but you don't have to like. Join a pride parade tomorrow, you know? You are you who are no matter what. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to me, not ever."

He leans his head on her shoulder, and she scritches her nails through his hair. It really has no right being as soft as it is, with the amount of hairspray he uses. It's frankly rude, is what it is.

"Thanks, Bobs. I think I'm just gonna put it away for now. It just...another thing to know about me, you know? Like, I'm bad at fighting people but good at fighting monsters, all my best friends are kids except you, I'm bi but it doesn't matter because there aren't any boys to date in Hawkins anyway. Plus my dad would kill me if he found out. Like actually kill me, not "oh geez I missed curfew, my dad's gonna kill me" type kill me, like I think he'd actually try and beat me to death. So there's really no reason to talk about it right now, you know?"

There's a pit of ice in her stomach, and she tightens her arm around him like she can keep him safe just by holding on tight enough. She hates how casually he said that, just like she hates how casually he always talks about how his parents treat him, like he honestly believes it's normal. "Jesus, Dingus. You know you can come here if you need, right? My parents love you, they already think we're getting married. They'd make you sleep in the guest room, but I could sneak you in here easy."

He snorts again. "We're totally gonna end up married for tax reasons anyway, we're never beating the rumors." That makes her snort, too. He's not wrong, though. She isn't going to be allowed to have a wife anytime soon, and if she has to choose someone to be her next of kin, it's always gonna be him. They're planning to move in together when she goes to school next year anyway. No one is ever gonna believe them that they aren't dating, but that's...fine. Honestly, there are worse things. Better to have Steve by her side than not, and if no one else understands them, well, they understand each other, don't they? That's more than enough.

"Yeah, I know I can come here if I need, Robs. It's fine mostly, I swear. They're not home until Christmas anyway."

He takes another deep breath, like he's settling himself. "I'm just glad we talked about it. I feel better now."

She cards her fingers through his hair again, basking in the feeling of her favorite person so close, and so content. "I'm glad, Dingus."

They're alive, and they're together, and they're queer, and neither of them is ever going to have to be alone again.

"Hang on, did you say you've kissed girls and boys?!"

part 2 part 3

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

How about Vox successfully installs a hidden camera in Charlie and Vaggies room for sexy blackmail. But is pissed all the footage he has is cute fluffy hugs and kiss. Nothing explicit at all.

i think if the V's tried this... they would regret it SO fast and probably be scarred for life in the process XD

Vox: "The lack of risk research in this new venture of ours... astounding."

Valentino: "Aw kitty, what better way to keep track of Lucifer's bimbo daughter Charles than by keeping a little camera tucked away in her bedroom?"

Vox: "Pointed at her bed? ONLY her bed?"

Velvette: "Imagine the BLACKMAIL. Hashtag cancel little miss Morningstar!"

Valentino: "Her and her spicy lady are soooooo pruuuudish and so WHOLESOME about that shit stain hotel of theirs- just think of what they'd do not to be the new stars of hell's porn scene?"

Vox: "I'm thinking, if they DON'T mind, their ratings will skyrocket."

Valentino: "....ah."

Velvette: "Oh come on flat screener, there's no way they'd ever be ok with-"

Vox: "And if they DO mind, Lucifer will take us all off the air so fast the cameras will still be rolling while our own heads start to."

Velvette: "FUCK."

Vox: "Am I the only one here actually forecasting audience reactions??"

Velvette: "I HATE BORN LUCKY GIRLS AND THEIR TOP DOG DEMON DADS!"

Valentino: "We can at least heckle their boring sex life privately, yeah?"

Vox: "If they even HAVE one."

Velvette: "Heads up. They're getting into bed now."

Valentino: “Oooooh and they’ve brought equipment~!”

The V’s: “………………”

Valentino: "..... is that. Paperwork?"

Velvette: "Oh hell no."

Vox: "Birds of a feather. If Alastor can be so chummy with them, then-"

Valentino: "They're doing- they’re- fucking doing PAPERWORK in bed!? Together!?? INSTEAD of each other? That’s IT?????"

Velvette: "This is sick. I'm gonna be sick."

Valentino: "AND THEY'RE ENJOYING IT???"

Velvette: "Hhrrrk-"

Vox: "Cut the feed. Destroy the camera. I can feel the static of their domestic fuzzy feel-good lives overtaking my entire network, program by program, station by station." (clutches tv head) "This would be less unsettling if they were a pair of MUPPETS... Fuck this." (deletes camera)

-five minutes later-

Charlie: “You know what Vaggie?”

Vaggie: “What, sweetie?”

Charlie: "I love how much easier doing the hotel budget is when we have each other to cross check it! Frees up a lot more time!"

Vaggie: "Me too babe. Though I kinda still think I love you more."

Charlie: (smiles softly) "Yeah..?"

Vaggie: (leans in) "...yeah."

Charlie: (grins) "Wanna fuck nasty about it?"

Vaggie: (grins back) "I’ll get the toybox."

-meanwhile-

Valentino: “WAIT! ….I feel a disturbance in the fuck! As if two people are having really kinky gay sex right now, and I’m missing out on exploiting it!”

Velvette: (still nauseous) “I’ll exploit my fist to your face if you don’t shut up.”

Vox: “Velvette.”

Velvette: “Oh you know don’t mean it, darling~ Much.”

Vox: “Fair enough.”

Velvette: “Paperwork, blegh. They were using, actual PHYSICAL bits of paper… I’m gonna have fucking nightmares.”

Valentino: “This IS my nightmare!”

Vox: “Welcome to hell, Val.”

[bonefall]

Ok now in wondering if for a dishonor name if the names of the 9 sins can be used for them how badly would you have needed to fuck up? Like tigerstar levels of bad or a new previously thought unobtainable level of evil?

Simply have Bramblestar as your Dishonor Namer and you, too, can have the absolutely incomprehensible title of "BIG SPIDER CANNIBAL"

Spiderleg/Spiderbite/Yisem-mwyrgna loved it. He was like... uncomfortably into it. He gets the title for being part of the Dark Forest attack, attacking his "HalfClan" son, but stopping just before he killed him. So Bramblestar gives him the name as punishment to remind him of what he almost did

But, like... bad idea? For one, Spiderbite is wearing the name with prideful shame because he wanted to repay his sins and his enthusiasm is... uncomfortable. For two? Toadstep is literally right there.

Toadstep has to wake up every day and call his deadbeat dad by the name "Almost Snapped Your Neck, Son." Lionblaze, his suitor (and soon to be mate) also has to see this. Rosepetal, Daisy, Berrynose, Hazeltail, everyone.

In theory it was a meaningful Dishonor Title, and the prose is better than Bramble-average, but in practice? Actually one of his worst.

Which is the problem with sin-names in Dishonor Titles. The 9 Great Sins are about direct harm on other people, not abstractions meant to strip the holy name and encourage reflection on one's actions. Theyre TOO hard, too direct.

They're really best used for exiles, as a legitimate and heavy warning to any Clan considering taking the offender in. So, to answer the question, YOU'VE GOTTA MESS UP PRETTY BAD! but also there arent rules preventing it.

[chloe-skywalker]

Different - Draco Malfoy

Draco x Fem!reader Weasley

Warnings: none

Word count: 1,118

Summary: Y/n is a Weasley but she’s very different from her family. Her hair’s not red, she’s a Slytherin, and now? She’s dating Draco Malfoy. Will Ginny and Hermoine be able to help keep her brothers in the dark? Or will they find out no matter how hard they try?

Masterlist

Harry Potter Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“I think Ron’s catching on.” Y/n rested her head on her arms, which more currently folded on the table in the liberty. Y/n was stressed hiding something when you have so many siblings around all the time was not easy.

“No trust me he’s not.” Hermione shook her head, trying to comfort her friend.

“Out of all our family Y/n/n, Ron would be the last to figure it out.” Ginny laughed. Ron was oblivious, Hermione knew that as much as anyone and started laughing as well. Although both noticed their friend still looked stressed about the situation.

“Don’t worry, Y/n.” Hermione gave Y/n a smile trying to ease her friend's mind.

“They're all gonna hate me when they find out.” Y/n referred to her family. Ginny was the only one who knew, her and Hermione. No one else on her part. Besides her parents.

“Mom and dad don’t hate you and they know. I know and I don’t hate you.” Ginny nudged her older sister arm to arm also trying to ease the tension.

“I don’t either and I don’t get along with Draco at all.” Hermione reached across the table to hold her hand. Y/n was originally nervous to tell Hermione, given her and Draco’s history. Their history also having played a part in why Y/n turned Draco down for so long. Till Hermione convinced her to say yes.

“It’s just… I’m already so different from my family- our family it’s-” Y/n started but got cut off. Often at times, Y/n didn’t do things because she didn't want to be even more different than her family. She didn’t have the Weasley's hair, she wasn’t a Griffindor, and now she’s dating a Malfoy?

“An that’s ok. We still love you.” Ginny smiled.

“Y/n/n, Draco has said unforgivable things to me but I support your relationship with him because you make eachother happy. And let’s face it, you make him a better person.” Hermione added, and it was true. Draco has been an ass to Hermione for years, but she cared about her friend's happiness.

“You do.” Ginny agreed with Hermione. Draco has been a different person since Y/n finally agreed to a relationship with him.

“That’s why we’re helping you.” Hermione squeed Y/n’s hand, giving her smile. “You're my friend, you're like a sister to me. So until your ready for your brothers to know, I’ll help you keep it a secret.”

Ginny placed her arm around her older sister's shoulder in a half hug. “And if they don’t like it you really think mom won’t rip them a new one?”

The three laughed at Ginny’s statement, the 3 girls knowing very well how true her words were. After the laughing calmed down they decided to have a girls night in the common room for Gryffindor.

^ ^ ^

“I don’t care about what your brothers will think, you know that right?” Draco asked, he knew she was scared of what they’d think, and he completely understood where she was coming from.

“I know. I’m grateful for that. I’m just worried for their reactions.” Y/n smiled up at him through her lashes, since she was resting her head on his shoulder. “Weren’t you nervous about your parent's reaction? They weren’t to thrilled if I recall correctly.”

Y/n shrugged his arm off looking down, sometimes it felt like everyone in their world didn’t want them together. Draco turned a bit in his seat adjusting himself so he could face her. Lifting her chin up to look him in the eyes. “On this matter. I only care about what I think. Besides my mother loves you, and between my two parents the opinion on you would only matter from her.”

“I don’t care what they think of you, of us. I just don’t want them to hate me. For not telling them, for keeping a secret, or just because- hell I could think of a bunch of things.” She told him letting out a shaky laugh out of nerves.

“They won’t.” Draco reassured, hoping to ease her nerves. “AN if they do. That’s their loss. But you’d still have your parents, Ginny, Hermione, my mom, and you have me.”

“That’s all I really need.” Y/n smiled reaching up to pull him into a kiss.

“Woah.” Fred and George said at the same time. Both twins were just as shocked as the couple sitting in front of them. Draco and Y/n didn’t even bother to move away from eachother, they were caught making out anyway so no use.

“Ummmm- hey?” Y/n said awkwardly looking at her older brothers.

The twins looked at eachother having a silent connection before looking at the couple. “We have one question.”

“What is it?” Draco asked.

“How long?” Fred asked curiously.

“8 months.” Y/n answered confidently.

The twins looked at eachother again before turning back to face the young couple. “One more question.”

Y/n laughed at her brother's antics. “Yes?”

“Not for you.” Fred said smiling at his little sister.

“Oh” Y/n gulped nervously

“You.” The twins spoke at the same time, pointing to Draco.

“Me?” Draco asked worried slightly.

“Yes.” They answered trying not to laugh.

“What is it?” Draco gulped but was ready to answer anything they ask.

“Do you love her?” George asked with an unreadable look. Which un-nerved Draco and Y/n a little bit.

“Yes. I do.” Draco answered after a short moment of thought before looking at Y/n.

“I love you too.” Y/n smiled looking at him, shocked since they were taking things really slow and they hadn’t said ‘I love you’s’ yet.

“Then we’re good.” The twins stated smiling widely.

“Really?” Y/n asked hopeful that she might have at least two of her brothers on her side and ok with her relationship.

“Yeah.” He smiled at her, nodding.

“Thank you, guys! Don’t tell Ron!” Y/n called after them as they left the abandoned tower.

“We won’t!” They called back.

“That was better than you thought it’d be.” Draco commented letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Yeah. I’m glad.” Y/n nodded letting out her own sigh of relief.

“I do think Ron will be a very different story though.” Draco admitted, truthfully he does not think Ron will accept it at all. Maybe not ever, if anything he might just become social with Draco but the young Malfoy doesn’t believe Ron will ever truly accept him. “We’ll deal with him when it comes to it.” Y/n said hoping that the day Ron finds out is very far in the future.

Tag: @gruffle1 @padawancat97

[bananami]

18+ | mdni

constantly thinking about hawks x reader with a penelope and morgan dynamic from criminal minds bc tell me that’s not exactly how hawks would be

like let’s say you work at his agency as his personal secretary or something and at first everyone is so confused as to whether the two of you are an item or not because you’re constantly flirting but they’ve never seen it go beyond that

and yes, instead of babygirl he calls you things like baby bird (idc if u don’t like it i think it’s kinda cute ok stfu), dove, love bird, etc etc

the first time he met you was when u were first starting out as his new secretary and he just thought u were adorable and was feeling a little flirty and at first it was a joke (not a joke now btw the man has fallen in love with you, how could he not? i mean look at you) but you met his jabs and comments head on and he loved every second of it

so now you call him things like chicken, peacock, big bird, and other very obnoxious and not cute things (although most of your nicknames are not cute your inappropriate and very not HR friendly comments never cease to fluster him)

he’s down so bad, sometimes he’s so happy you’re usually flirting with him over his comms because he’ll turn so red at some of your comments

he’ll be flying up in the air and will call you to have you look up the guy he’s tailing

"hey babybird, I need all the info you can give me on this guy's quirk"

"what do I get in return?"

"careful now, dove, or I might have to punish you"

"oh, I'm so scared"

"be a good girl and help me out here. and maybe I'll bring you back a little treat, huh?"

that treat is kfc, you definitely smacked him after that. but he brought you starbucks the next day to make up for it and you drank that $6 drank and made him get you another after lunch just to be a brat

honestly everyone is so lost and awkward around the two of you. ya'll are an HR nightmare. worst thing that's probably happened was when hawks answered the phone around endeavor and you just

"talk dirty to me"

hawks dumbass just :o *clears throat*

endeavor just stood there like -_- and had to be like "...this is pro hero endeavor...."

yeah you hung up

hawks has never let you live that down

you are nowhere to be found when endeavor visits the agency

ok and yeah the flirty moments are cute and all but the soft moments

bye

thinking about the episode where morgan gets shot but its hawks instead and you're just so worried

"what happened they said you were shot?!"

"i got shot in my bullet proof vest babybird, i'm fine"

"why would they shoot you?!"

"i'm assuming because i'm a hero and they were a villain...but i could be completely off base with that one"

"...next time they better finish the job."

"oh you don't mean that! like you could live without your work husband. who would buy you food and stare at you shamelessly when you wear those pants that make your ass look-"

"this is workplace harassment"

and when you see a large scale hero and villain fight break out on the news on your day off and hawks is nowhere to be seen by the end of it and you keep calling and he won't pick up and you're rushing to the agency to find out what you can worried out of your mind, all of your colleagues confused bc if anyone knew where he was it would be you, if he would call anyone to tell him he was alright you would be the first and they're sure of it

and it's not until you hear the soft little "babybird" behind you that you're spinning around and running into his arms and he's holding you tight, apologizing because he lost his phone in the fight and he stopped at your place first to check on you and let you know he was ok but you had left your place to check on him and!!!

ok but flirty moments seriously

"hey lovebird, don't tell me you've forgotten about me after working a single mission under eraserhead"

"i WISH i was under shota"

"did you just first name eraserhead?"

"DILF"

"he's not even a dad"

"i would offer to make him one so quick"

"that's it, no more lending you out to other agencies, clearly you can't behave yourself"

he gets chicken nuggets for the both of you for lunch one day and you just stare at him until he's like wtf do u want

"is this technically cannibalism for you?"

"why are you like this?"

"i just want to know because you're like a bird eating another bird, you know?"

"i'd eat you given the chance, what does that make me then?"

you choke on your sprite "a whore"

BONUS:

you fall asleep at the agency and he finds you working late too so he picks you up and carries you to his office and lets you sleep on his couch he has for when he's working long hours

sometimes you sleep talk, mumbling things like love and keigo and birdbrain

and he just smiles and kisses you on the forehead

bc he's very much in love with you and very patient in waiting for you to maybe hopefully love him back

[justatalkingface]

Let's talk about the Bakugou Problem

Yes, everyone, it's finally time, what is probably my most requested rant: The Bakugou Problem. Or rather, the Bakugou problems, because there's two:

The first is the fact that he's an unrepentant asshole who is only now, at the end of the manga, truly starting to realize basic shit like 'apologizing'. The second is that, for all intents and purposes, the Bakugou the characters seem to interact with is a different person than what we're being shown.

There's been plenty of deep dives on his issues, so I doubt I'll propose anything new, but this should fun anyways, right? Let's start here:

I think, at the core, Bakugou's problem is he just never grew up.

Way, way back early on, we see some flashbacks to Earlygou, and in summary? Earlygou is an ass. Fun fact: for all that it's commonly held that Bakugou grew worse over time after getting his Quirk? He called Izuku Deku before that. He was just a bit ahead of the class, looked at Izuku's name, and saw 'Deku'. Boom, he starts saying it, and it's only further entrenched in his mind as he outperforms his peers physically, while Izuku lags behind.

Then he gets his Quirk. Let's quote what he's told: 'Ooh, another impressive Quirk! You could be a hero with a Quirk like that, Katsuki!'

I know we all think he got coddled for his Quirk, and later on he was, but that? That was just a teacher giving him the verbal equivalent of a gold star. Meanwhile, Bakugou?

'Makes sense. I'm awesome. I'm better than everyone else!', he thinks, while having this look on this face like he's being enlightened to a Fundamental Truth. He took some generic praise and ran off with it.

So yeah, Earlygou was an ass. Here's the thing: a lot of kids are assholes. It can be hard to remember sometimes, but kids, really young kids who don't get how the world works at all, do and think a lot of impulsive, assholish shit, not because they think the world revolves around them, but because they can't comprehend a world that isn't all about them.

Here's another thing: kids grow out of that. They realize, eventually, that other people matter, that their actions have consequences, and all that other stuff that makes people into functioning adults.

I don't blame Earlygou for being an assholish child. I blame Bakugou for never growing beyond that. And it's interesting to think about that, because his parents seem legit. His dad is quiet, sure, but he's solid and down to earth, and while Bakugou clearly takes after his mother, she also seems to have gotten the 'morals' message he didn't, and has concerns that he didn't do the same. They're not poor, and are working in fashion, and implied to be doing well enough that, if they're not rich, they're at the very least well off.

So... school, I guess? Here's one of the times where the setting suffers for its lack of lower level development, because I would love to see what non-Aldera schools were like. Everyone else in 1A seems like they wouldn't have a major problem with Izuku being Quirkless, or at least be mild enough in their prejudices to not spend their free time torturing him. Is Aldera different? Is it an age thing? Are they just the good eggs and would have had assholish classmates who would act like Aldera did? Would other teachers be OK with how Izuku was treated (my limited understanding of the depressing Japanese view on bullying says, 'yes', but fuck if I know, and honestly, two hundred years in the future, shouldn't they be better than modern Japan)? More than that, the public view on Quirklessness is, for understandable reasons (cough cough Bakugou), highly underdeveloped, so we don't know how much Izuku was treated was the normal, but I think part of the reason Bakugou got so bad is that he had Izuku near him, as this convenient target. By pushing down on the 'acceptable' target, all his peers approved him, cheered him on, which both fed his ego and his popularity, and combined with his high-status Quirk, this cycle continued swelling his head until we reached canon Bakugou, king of all he surveys. The kids follow him, the teachers suck up to him, his potential, his future, all are limitless!!!!

...Sigh. Before I keep going, let me touch on one other thing: Izuku trying to save Bakugou after he fell when they were children.

On the first take, it seems utterly unreasonable, how badly he responded to that, right? And the second, and third, it still seems the same.

Someone, somewhere, said this take in a comment in a fic I read and I've never been able to forget it: think about it from the view of a heroic saturated society.

Think about it from the lenses of MHA, where All Might is a few steps short of a god in the eyes of the public. Everyone knows him, everyone loves him, especially the kids, and especially Bakugou and Izuku.

Look at that scene again, how Izuku reaches down for him. Overlay him with All Might.

That is what Bakugou saw: Izuku making himself unto All Might. While Izuku just wanted to save him, of course, somewhere deep in his unconcious Bakugou took that symbolism and ran with it, and reached a completely (ir)rational conclusion: Izuku was looking down on him. It went, I imagine, a little something like this:

All Might is the strongest. All Might looks like that when saves other people, who are weaker than him. Izuku is channeling All Might, therefore he is saying that he is stronger than me.

Bakugou, in his child mind, saw Izuku, not as helping him, but T-posing at him. To him, that was Izuku trying to assert dominance.

And he never got over that. Never grew beyond that impression. Do you want to know the worst part about it, though, when you look at it that way?

Think about Bakugou again, and his motivations, with your Bakugou Logic goggles on: All Might is strong. Bakugou wants to be strong like All Might. All Might asserts his power over others by saving them. Therefore?

Bakugou wants to save people like All Might.

Can you imagine if Bakugou was built of that dynamic? Like, with Shirou in Fate, if that scene was etched in his mind forever, and he was obsessed with remaking it over and over, but on his terms, with him as the savior? Him as the one looking down on the weak?

Still canon-style Bakugou, still an asshole, still lusting for power... but when asked what he wanted to do with it, or why, he would answer: so I can save everyone.

And even if it was for the crudest, most self serving of reasons, even if it was only so he could feel good about himself and lord it over everyone else that he was the one who saved them; it would have been so much better than canon. There's so much fascinating complexity to explore in a character like that, as well as a clear path to redeem him: under that logic, Bakugou would, over time, learn to save people, not for his own satisfaction, but just because it's the right thing to do. Hell, even the way people treat him would make more sense, because even if he was an asshole, if his motivation, which he cheerfully shouts about at any given moment, was to save people, then suddenly his acceptance feels more realistic, doesn't it? Him being compared to Izuku as a rival makes more sense when both of them are in it to save everyone, that core of heroism, but each represent a different part of how modern heroism is expressed, with Bakugou as the corrupt, media saturated part of it, while Izuku channels the original, pure spirit of heroics.

Can you imagine that with me? What could have been in another life? It could have been beautiful.

But, sadly, that's nothing more than a dream, and we should return back to reality (though I might want to expand on that at some point, it really does sound interesting to me).

Change and Improvement. These are words that some hold in the air whenever Bakugou is judged harshly, and they wave them like talismans to try and banish others objections.

Let me tell you a truth: change and improvement are hollow words without context. They are a statement that something has happened, not a measure of how much it has happening. In many ways, this is similar to a unit of measurement, like inches, and a number of inches. If you're talking about something, and you say, 'it can be measured in inches'.... that is generally unhelpful. Saying that it is, say, eight inches long is far more useful information.

Still, these aren't exactly moral statements, and change in particular is distinctly amoral. If something has 'improved a little bit' it, you know that it's better, and generally how much. But is it good now? Was it good then?

Let me put it another way: say that, once a day, every day, I appear to you out of the shadows and force you to eat a cup of shit. Exactly a cup, every day, at 2:30 PM, without fail; nothing you do to protect yourself from me makes any difference, nowhere you go is safe. You can't run. You can't hide. I am inevitable. The shit is inevitable. You will eat that shit, no matter what you think about it.

Then, one day, I come with only a half cup, and from then on you are only forced to eat a half cup of shit a day instead of a full one.

Isn't that both a change and an improvement? It's literally half as bad; doesn't that sound like a lot better? Yet, while that may be true, is the situation actually better in a meaningful way, or it as firmly negative as it was before? Should you be mewling gratefully to me that I'm being less horrible to you, or can you still hold a grudge against me for everything I've done to you and continue to do?

What if I apologized, one day, after forcing yet another half cup down your throat? What if I told you that I shouldn't have done it, but the way you looked, the way you acted, that vapid, cow-like look of joy on your face... it was just so shitty that I had to, that you made me do it? Then I say this changes nothing, and that we're still on for tomorrow for your daily dose at the normal time.

Tell me something: do you feel better? Has my generous apology moved your heart? Are we friends now?

This is Izuku's situation in a nutshell. Bakugou's treatment has changed, has improved even. It's reached a point where there are actual differences in Izuku's daily life. That doesn't mean it's still not shit treatment, and it doesn't matter if it's served in a cup or a tablespoon, shit is still shit. And the thing is Bakugou treated him like shit, and he still treats him like shit.

Context matters. So let's talk about the context. Let's talk about what Bakugou did.

Well, first off, there's the Deku thing, but I feel a lot people don't get how bad that is, so let's spell it out in detail. Once upon a time, as I've said, Bakugou was a little better at reading than everyone else. He looked at Izuku's name and saw 'Deku' in this, and thought it was hilarious, and so he started talking about it.

Bakugou looked at his name, and saw Useless in it. He didn't just call Izuku that, he said, this is in your name, it always has been there, to the point that, all these years later, he physically struggles to use Izuku's actual name.

For Izuku's entire childhood, the one person truly on his side, who truly loved him, was his mother.... who gave him that name.

In other words, every time Bakugou called him that name, with that history behind it? Bakugou was telling him that, when Izuku was born, Inko looked at the child she held in her arms, turned to the nurse, and said, "I'll call him... Useless."

He called him this, every day, every time they talked, for over a decade. Saying that the real meaning of the name his mother gave him was useless.

But it's not just that, even. He led the school, his neighbors, effectively everyone Izuku knew in anywhere near his age group, to call him that. There were probably people in Aldera who didn't know Izuku by any other name. There were probably times Izuku thought of himself by that name, that his name was Useless. It's not that big a reach from responding to it as his name, after all, and by the time the story start's he was well trained in responding to it.

Then, there's the more 'basic' bullying; insults, taking his stuff, breaking his stuff, using his Quirk on him. Again, for years and years, until Izuku is beaten down into terrified compliance, where Bakugou blowing up his stuff, his desk, and him* in front of a teacher isn't something anyone even really notices anymore. And why does he do it? Because it's fun. Because he feels strong breaking things, hurting people, being the big man on campus. Because he wants attention, respect, glory.

Because he can. Because it's fun.

(*And isn't that weird, when you think about it? Bakugou has been hands free with his Quirk on Izuku since they were, what, four? Why doesn't Izuku have burns?

Bakugou uses explosions. His hands can burn hot enough (probably as part of the lighting process) to burn clothes, and that's when he's clearly holding back with it. There's no way he's been careful enough, kind enough to not hit skin with that his entire life. So why doesn't Izuku have burns from all that?

Answer? There is no good reason. You can mention how MHA humans are, well, inhumanly strong, but we see heat resistant Shoto being burned with boiling water; it's not like they're immune to it. More than that, though, Izuku is explicitly Quirkless. He is a mortal in a world of magic. He wouldn't have that same kind of resiliency.

So Izuku isn't burned because, A, Hori didn't want his main character to be scarred over, both for aesthetic reasons, and probably for ease of drawing, and B, because that would make Bakugou look worse. Because even then, back when Bakugou had consequences, that would be too much consequences for him, that he permanently scarred Izuku, since the Heroes Rising was the original ending, and Bakugou was always supposed to be redeemed. Hori probably figured, if he thought about it, that that was too far for the readers to forgive him for, and finally, C, he just didn't think about the consequences of Bakugou's actions.

But let's be honest: Izuku would be burned. The fact he isn't is just the prettying up of the situation.)

This is where Bakugou starts from: abusing Izuku to the point where he doesn't dare protest out of years of deeply ingrained terror, doing his best to systematically destroy Izuku's life, while being careful to avoid going too far and damage his chances for UA, which judging by his comment on smoking, may be the only real internal check he has on his behavior.

Because that's the thing; he's cruel, but calculatingly so. He's not a wild animal. It motivates him, but he can think about his actions, think about the possible consequences of them, how they'll react... and as long as they won't harm him, he's all for it.

Then we go to UA, and when he realizes that 'Deku' has a Quirk? Much less such a strong one? He attacks. Viciously, instinctively he goes into attack. He's stopped, but no consequences are given (more on that later), so he doesn't stop. Why would he? All he's learned is this teacher won't let him attack Izuku without a motive.

And then he gets one. Bakugou walks into the Battle Trial planning what he'll do to Izuku. His first words in there are don't dodge... which is especially bad considering what he'll say in a little bit.

His plan? To beat the living shit out of Izuku, to vent all his frustration on him, but stopping just short of it being bad enough for the Trial to be stopped. And as Izuku defies him (by dint of not letting himself be beaten up), he gets angrier and angrier at him for the gall of it, for the audacity to not lay down and let Bakugou beat him up until he feels better, until it reaches the point where Bakugou brings out those gauntlets of him.

'Dammit, Deku, don't dodge me!' 'He won't die if he dodges!'

Yeah. He says both of these things in the space of the same fight. When Bakugou fires that damn gauntlet of his, he's finally reached the point where, for the first time we've seen, he's no longer thinking of the consequences even a little. He wants to kill Izuku, if only to prove that his Quirk, that he, is better (note this too; we'll talk more later about this) than Izuku and his Quirk.

Well, for obvious reasons, that doesn't work out for him, since Izuku's Quirk is the strongest in existence, and small fraction of it, badly used, is still enough to clap Bakugou's attack, enhanced by support equipment (who the hell approved that, by the way? It literally destroys buildings. It seemingly exists for no other reason than to cause massive collateral damage). Then he's forced into an existential crisis when Deku 'wins'. His arm is broken, he's beat up, but by the rules of the game he won anyways and because of that, Bakugou's world collapses.

This, more than anything, I think is Bakugou's true catalyst for change: not being saved by 'Deku', but losing to him. Granted, being saved is enough to force him to avoid him, but it probably helped that Izuku only bought him moments of air. He may have saved him, but All Might did the work, All Might the strongest, the greatest, his idol.

This though? This was Izuku surpassing him, and all on his own.

And I want to pause to consider something here: something that was stressed since the beginning of the story, and still is, besides the terrible mixed messaging at times, is that being heroic is more important to being a hero than sheer ability. Izuku was heroic with his complete lack of ability at the start, after all, while All For One is one of the strongest beings in the setting, and is the farthest thing from heroic. And when you look at Bakugou, as we're introduced to him? There's not a speck of that in him. There's no kindness, no mercy, no sympathy; Bakugou has no positive aspects to him. He has talent, talent for days, but talent isn't a person, a personality. He is a creature of pure ability, and nothing more, and that makes him a singularly unheroic creature.

But the story continues, and Bakugou is forced to confront his own weakness compared to his classmates... except, you know, he doesn't. Even as he does everything wrong, as picks fight with classmates, teachers, villains he should be avoiding... he faces no real consequences for it.

Because, as I've said? Bakugou used lethal force on Izuku. Knowingly. As a teacher tells him not to. That... that sounds like something that even a normal school would be concerned about, much less this elite school that is focused around being a hero, and whose student body is largely comprised of very lethal people, who they intent to unleash upon the world with minimal restrictions on their behavior.

I mean, forget the school; why is All Might fine with this? Aizawa? Nezu? Any of these teachers? How about all of their fellow students, all of who are heroic, and watched this happen live, and All Might's response, no less?

This is the second problem of Bakugou: what they see, talk to, and interact with, doesn't seem to match with the reality that we see, and these two problems are so intertwined that is hard to talk about them separately.

Because on Day One of school, Bakugou attempts to murder his fellow student, and no one cares. The worst he gets is a waggled finger. The fact that he isn't expelled is mind boggling beyond belief, when you pause for a second and consider that fact.

Aizawa talks like he just rough housed too hard or something, and the worse thing All Might mentions is failing the exercise.

This is something that many people have talked about, and at times have named many different ways. For this, I've decided to call it, 'Bakugou's Tsundere Field', because it makes other people act like Bakugou is tsundere, acting tough but with a kind heart, instead of just... acting like a shit person. You know, like he does.

Like I said, it's hard to realistically seperate that from Bakugou's general behavior, so I'm just going to keep going and point it out as I go along.

Next, let's talk about... the Sports Festival. The Sports Festival is where, if you need the reminder, Bakugou starts things off by insulting everyone else and making them hate his class. Twice.

First, by insulting the, admittedly vulture like crowd gawking over 1A's near death experience (I still don't like that), and the second as the valedictorian, where his 'speech' is his two sentence statement that he's going to be first... and yet, for some reason, Izuku watches this and marvels over how he's changed. Because normally, he'd do this but he'd be gloating. Izuku. Izuku. This isn't some mind boggling big thing to be in awe of.

Actually, let's chat about that a bit, because that's honestly such a big problem it's almost a third concern on it's own right: Izuku is our major narrator, right? So we get a lot of our views on Bakugou from his perspective, and... well, he's very much an unreliable narrator, whenever it comes to Bakugou. Every time he talks, there's this sense of awe in it that's been there ever since he was a child; it taints his narrative every time he talks about Bakugou, makes it always more positive than it should be.

Because, wow, Bakugou, that's different from before, an improvement, right? Well guess what? That shit is still shit, even if there's less of it. Izuku is just so biased, so traumatized, such... an abuse victim, that he he takes what Bakugou gives him and doesn't think there's anything wrong with it, because he, Deku, has no self respect, and Bakugou is the biggest and the baddest, the most beloved of their childhood, and it's something he never seems to get past. Even when he stands up to Bakugou, fights him, he still can't get past staring at him in awe, and barely ever complains about how he's being treated.

And because Izuku is our main viewpoint? This view on Bakugou taints our view on him, and it's easy to look at him with Izuku's admiring eyes.

But I digress. In the cavalry battle, Bakugou basiclly breaks the rules by flying off the horse, but gets away with it because of a technicality, which, you know, is great impulse to nurture: it's fine as long as it's technically legal! Sounds really heroic, right? Like something you want your law enforcement to live by?

Meanwhile, during this same fight, both Aizawa and All Might praises him for his ambition, and I just. Do you know what Bakugou says right before they think about that?

'I'm going to be Number One and leave piles of bodies in my wake!', he screams, while literally throwing a tantrum on national television and hitting the top of Kirishima's head like it's a desk.

...Wow. You know what? Maybe you two are mixing tenacity with bloodlust. That's one of the least heroic things I've ever heard in my life, and yet everyone just falls over themselves to praise him for it just because he's not content to settle for second place.

It's times like that I have to wonder: are they... are they seeing something different than what we do? Are all of Bakugou's most violent phrases and actions edited out for them? Did Hori add them for his fans? Or is it just The Tsundere Field(TM)?

Not even mentioning third stage where: he's praised for taking a woman 'seriously' for no apparent reason, and dragging it out when he would normally, just like he always does, just leap in mindlessly to attack, and this one time he really thinks it through it backfires when Ochaco turns it back around on him, only for him to just... over power it, with no ill effects. This comes with the double plus stupid on his part of him doing that because he's... what, afraid of her touching him?

Seriously? This entire post exists for me to call Bakugou out, but even I can't call him a coward. Every time he fights a villain, all of which want to kill him, and one who has Ochaco's power but lethal, he still charges in. Moreover, all it does it make you weightless; Bakugou's power explicitly gives him a way around that; if she tosses him, he can just fly back to the stage.

So... why is this a thing? This is a thing so, when the heroes, who at this point are symbolizing the audience's discontent with Bakugou, start complaining, Aizawa can step in, verbally slap them, us, and then explain how great Bakugou is, which get magnified by how casually he shoots down her plan at the end.

And here's the super special bonus problem with all of this: a hero's job isn't to protect themselves. A hero's job is to protect everyone else. Even if they, personally, are hurt, a hero is expected to risk their health, and lives, so that the general public is safe. You want to know what the problem is when protecting yourself and allowing the villain time to do things in the process? It means they get to do things. Like, say, set up a giant meteor shower that could cause mass casualties? You know, like what Ochaco actually did as Bakugou held back?

This is that plan that, need I remind you, Eraserhead was defending.

Then there's the fight with Shoto where, under the actual logic of the setting, according to Hori's very notes on how their Quirks work, Shoto should have froze him and thusly stopped him in his tracks, no fire needed, since it would stop Bakugou from sweating. But, instead, Bakugou powers through, somehow, and clinches a win anyways. And then, and this is after he eavesdrops on Shoto's conversation, BTW, which means he knows exactly why Shoto doesn't use his fire, he throws a fit that Shoto didn't use his fire on him anyways (which, considering he sweats nitroglycerin, means he would have exploded).

Now let's look at the Intern Arc, and I'll be honest: no matter how much a non-character Best Jeanist, I'll always be a fan of him for one simple reason:

When everyone else looked at Bakugou, and says, 'This kid is awesome', this is the one person in the entire setting who saw a problem. And as a bonus, he acts to do something about it.

In the same vein, I'll never forgive Hori for making him seem like such a pretentious twit, much less how hard he ends up cheering for Bakugou's every word later in the series. I'm relooking at these manga chapters, and his big attempt seems to be... jelling up Bakugou's hair, and... something like focusing the body and mind via the power of... tight jeans.

Wow. I mean, wow. The one time we get someone honestly, actually trying to change Bakugou for the better, to call him for what he is, and his big plan to do this is apparently giving him a new look.

Really? Like, beyond how much of a failure of an opportunity this is, beyond how it makes Best Jeanist look useless, it can give the reader that the impression that the reason why Bakugou is so wild and untamed is that those who want to reign him in are elitists who are wildly disconnected to reality, that he is right to be this way, because people following the rules are just holding him back.

And we come to... sigh. The Final Exam test. The fact that anyone who has spent five minutes with Izuku and Bakugou thinks that this clustefuck needs to happen is more proof of the terrifying powers of the TF. I mean, I just... when one person is constantly yelling, constantly aggressive, constantly swearing, constantly throwing fits, and this same person is constantly picking fights with another student, who, at worst, defends himself, and and more often just seems to take it..... what do you think they need?

Is it to be thrown together into a teamwork based, sink or swim test with seemingly enormous penalties for failure? Or is it to make one of them get therapy? And also detention?

Well, according to All Might, Aizawa, Nezu, and who knows who else....

*shrugs helplessly*

If only we could use Bakugou's powers for good, rather than making Izuku suffer.

But we can't. So the school locks an abuser and his victim together in a pseudo-deathmatch where teamwork is required to survive, as a form of therapy to treat the lack of cooperation that comes entirely from one party. Wonderful.

And, as anyone could predict, this promptly goes terribly. Bakugou attacks his teammate for the crime of... *checks notes* trying to work together with him against All Might, the strongest being in the setting. This is such a terrible crime because *checks notes again* ...Bakugou can totally take him.

Bakugou Katsuki, everybody. A 'genius' with the brain of a yipping chihuahua trying to fight a mastiff.

Recovery Girl watches this happen live and just goes, 'They're just absolutely the worst team, those two."

And oh, and I'm going to be honest, when you look at Recovery Girl she's kind of a piece of shit. She barely gets any scenes and any time they involve Izuku (a lot of that small amount) they are pure ass. But this? This just takes the cake.

Wow. They're such bad teammates, sure. Such heroic insight. Why, that's like saying putting Muscular on the same team with Kouta would be a bad team! That would have some truly terrible teamwork as well, right? It's something that is technically correct, but is just.... so heinously missing the core of the problem that you honestly have to wonder what in the actual fuck she's thinking. All Might and Aizawa, at least, have the excuse that they don't see that, at least as far as we know, but she deadass watches it happen, what the fuck.

And, as it has often been pointed out, Bakugou passes, after attacking his teammate and being carried out afterwards while Sero, who heroically sacrifices himself for the win and never once attacks his teammate, loses for exactly the same thing.

Simply marvelous.

Now let's move Training Camp Arc... where, when Bakugou is informed in the middle of an attack by villains that he is the target (and oh, we'll get to that in a moment). What is his first response to this? What does he do?

Le-fucking-roy right at them. Here's something that bothers me about how the story talks about Bakugou: he's so intelligent, he's analytical, all this stuff... but every time he gets into a fight? Or near a fight? His response is always, always to jump in. Needless to say, a heedless charge at the problem backfires, and he's captured. Surprise!

And back to Bakugou as target: the League of Villains watch him on TV and the first thing they thought about him is, I like the cut of his jib.

The worst people look at Bakugou and say he's clearly one of them.

This... this is something that's never really discussed. There's a press conference, Aizawa basiclly says he's too heroic to ever join them (ironically, since Bakugou's argument isn't about heroism or villainy, but that they're losers), and this just... never comes up again. There's no doubt in anyone's mind about anything after Eraserhead gives him that support

No one is concerned that, hey, maybe he did actully join them. Or the man with ten-thousand Quirks did something to him, brainwashed him, and honestly? That's not even a reach. That is actually what AFO was planning to do to him. This is a setting, need I remind you, where actual brainwashing Quirks exist, much less whatever the fuck happens to the Nomu and no one is concerned, after they all agree that there is already a mole, that Bakugou could become another mole, or maybe even was that original mole in the first place. No one goes, 'Hmm, well, the scum of Japan think he's one of them, maybe this is something we should be concerned about?'

I mean, fuck, no one just sits Bakugou down and tells him to pull his shit together, your image is ass and the media is probably going to be watching you until you die, ready to stain you with the accusation of villainy, and they can make your life hell if you slip up, and so far you don't seem even seem to care. Also, your heroic career, that you're oh so concerned about, is never going to get off the ground if everyone thinks your a villain, and a villain will never be Number One.

There's just... nothing. Bakugou is made out of warning signs, one the entire fucking setting ignores at times, but this is just... fuck.

Alright. Bakugou vs Izuku Two; Wank Bakugou Harder!

Actually, no. Before that... let's talk about one of the major lead ups to that: Bakugou finding out about OFA. Why? In part to force him into the plot, sure, but a large part of it is Izuku feeling... guilty. He feels guilty for lying to him, guilty for seeming to have a Quirk of his own; I'm not really going anywhere with this, I just want to talk about how fucked up that mentality is, that he felt he owed Bakugou that. He owes Bakugou nothing. Bakugou isn't his friend, isn't even his acquaintance, he's his abuser. Bakugou doesn't treat him in a way that deserves such sympathy, much less information on one of the greatest secrets in the setting. If Bakugou wants to assume that Izuku somehow hid that he had a Quirk for his entire life? Allowed himself to be constantly beat down, insulted, and mistreated, and for what? For this one gotcha moment of surprising Bakugou? Let him. If he's too stuck in his own idiocies to think of anything else, let him wallow in his own ignorance.

Anyways, BvI2: also known as that time Bakugou pulled his frequent victim aside to attack him and both of them got in trouble for it.

And this is billed as this big thing for Izuku, but he fights against Bakugou, metaphorically, all the time, and he's already had this big moment of physical defiance in BvI1. This fight isn't about Izuku, on any level. This fight exists solely for Bakugou. It starts because he starts it, he starts it because he feels upset and violence is apparently how he sorts through his emotions, and he wins it because he needs to.

But not just because he needs to win, oh no, there's more to that. Thematically, you see, this is important for Bakugou's growth. Or rather, the idea of his growth that never seems to persist between his growth moments. You see, thematically, Bakugou stands for victory via force, but him winning this fight doesn't make him right, doesn't give him All Might's approval, and to him, that's almost a paradox; that paradox is needed to move beyond who he is.

But that's the thing though. Bakugou needs it. Bakugou needs to win for Bakugou's growth. This growth is, both literally and thematically, at the expense of Izuku, because Izuku? If he won this, just... out matched Bakugou in a fight, no tricks, no technicalities, no crippling injuries, none of the things from their first fight? That would have been huge for him, for his confidence. It would have been Izuku, heroic Izuku, finally and truly eclipsing his old bully in every possible way, and that would have been great for him, for his confidence, for his self respect. Moreover, though, that still would have been good for Bakugou, because even when he loses, he never loses, and he could use an actual, humbling defeat to help screw his head on straight.

But Bakugou loses all the time, I hear people say? He lost in their first fight, true, but that's a technicality; anyone looking at them would know who won combat wise. He won the Sports Festival, even though he bitches about how it wasn't 'right'. He loses against All Might, sure, but All Might is the strongest man on the planet; that loss means nothing. Moreover, he wins against him through the goal of the exam at the end anyways. He loses to the villains, sure, but it was a bunch of them against him; it wasn't a fair fight, which is the whole reason him picking it was stupid in the first place. And now, here, he could have finally had a real loss to give him some perspective... but he doesn't.

Moreover, Hori just... hypes up Explosion as a Quirk more than it really deserves. Is it a good Quirk? Strong? Sure. But let's be honest here: he sweats nitroglycerin. Literally, his Quirk is his two parents mashed together into the best possible option, and it's basiclly lazy ass chemistry via genetics. There is, by the very definition of the substance that he explicitly makes, a cap to how much it can do with a certain volume; that's why new, more explosive explosives were made to replace it

One For All, all the heroic thematics aside, is literally just pure power. All Might changes the weather with a punch on accident; I'm convinced if he punched the ground and meant it, he could actually fuck up Japan as a island. The cap with OFA is yes. There is no way, under the logic of the setting, that Bakugou can ever contest that.

Like, look at Endeavour: when he wants more fire, he makes more fire. It's bigger. What the fuck is Bakugou going to do, rain his sweat on people? What happens when he dehydrates, because again, this is his sweat, which comes from his body? Cluster doesn't even make sense, really, that he somehow super concentrates it to make it more powerful, and AP Shot is literally him making a circle with his fingers before blowing up a bomb in it, yet somehow it makes, like, a laser?

The thing is that more loose Quirks, like Endeavour's, again, aren't as limited to science as the more 'realistic' Quirks like Bakugou's, so there's nothing really saying he can't just... make more flames. He could damage himself, sure, but since he already pulls that shit out of nothing, Endeavour increasing the volume of his magic ass firebending isn't hard to accept. Hori wrote himself into a hole here because if Bakugou just made explosions by magic? If he just... conceptually made explosions? A lot of this stuff would make sense (except AP Shot; fuck AP Shot), and it feels like that's how he treats it sometimes. But that's not what he did: it was his Dad's Acid Sweat with his Mom's Glycerin which means he sweats explosive sweat. And then, when it's convenient, he has shit like the Gauntlets, and basiclly all the rest of his support gear, that are explicitly filled with his sweat.

Bakugou's powers are basiclly whatever the fuck Hori wants at any given moment, and it's honestly frustrating when he tried to play so much of this setting's powers so seriously at first, and Bakugou's Quirk in particular is explained more than almost anyone else, and yet he tosses it the moment he thinks of something that sounds cool.

...But I've gotten off topic. The point is, OFA is OP and Izuku should have just won that on pure ability alone.

Anyways, after all this, the teachers finally come, once it's settled in Bakugou's favor, and they're both in trouble. For a fight that was 100% Bakugou's fault.

So, throughout all of this, Bakugou has changed, yes, but beyond the first couple of days, the changes have been grudging and glacial, and the reasons why are best exemplified in the License Exam where we find out that, for all intents and purposes, Bakugou is incapable of showing basic empathy. I mean, fuck, he fails to show that when, with any amount of logic, much less that of the genius Bakugou, would say that now is the time to fake it. An actual, factual sociopath would do better than him, purely because they would know to act for their own betterment.

(And the fact that his teachers look at this, explicit proof that he is seemingly incapable of actually trying to save a person, but do nothing with this information speaks volumes.... mostly about how bad Hori is at writing Bakugou and the implications of what he does constantly. Surely there's no way that, without the Author hyping him up, they'd just let that slide, right? ...Right?)

But, then, hope on the horizon! He has a make up exam, and it's apparently centered around pounding basic morals/how to deal with civilians into his thick skull! Surely, this is the time Bakugou will finally, finally, get the point, right?

And that's the thing: he does. There's this, probably to other people, touching moment where he sees himself in this asshole kid and talks about how you can't just look down on people. And it's like... finally. Finally! The switch has finally been flicked! He gets it! Change, improvement, development, fina-

Then the second he gets out of it he promptly goes back to calling everyone extras.

That dynamic in many ways is the perfect embodiment of Bakugou's development, and it's... It's like watching someone fighting off a disease. There's an infection, right and symptoms increase. Sometimes the symptoms appear out of nowhere, sometimes they increase over the span of several days. They peak, finally, then they fall back down, again either dramatically, or over the span of several days, and then you are back to normal.

Bakugou makes changes. He makes realizations. He gets 'humbled'. He has a single moment of heroism that the narrative hypes up, sometimes with a bit of build up before hand for a few chapters, and with people sometimes reacting to it for a few chapters afterwords.

And then it passes, like he's just finished fighting off a case of Morals.

You see, Bakugou is well liked. And, honestly, I get it. The asshole can be therapeutic to root for, at times. The problem is that he's too popular, and that this story is too about people being good. So Bakugou, to keep the fan base, to keep the sales, has to stay Bakugou, stay the unrepentant asshole constantly telling people to die.

But, at the same time, Bakugou is an anti-hero, basiclly, and this is a setting that just... can't handle the complexity of an anti-hero, in how people react to them, what they do and the morality of it, how it would affect society and so on, and so Bakugou can't stay as Bakugou, has to grow and be better and become a hero proper.

So... Hori goes, 'Why not both?' Thus, Bakugou gets his moments of 'development', and a slow, slow, slow trend to the better, and the fans get to see him do his thing, even though he's 'changed'. And it's easy, when you just sit back and accept the narrative, to believe that. But if you don't....

All of that? It makes his character empty because after a certain point, it's clear that Bakugou won't change, in so many fundamental levels, even if everyone around him acts like he does. Like attacking his teammates, like blindly charging the enemy , like constantly insulting everyone around him is just different because he's The New Bakugou now, like it's just fun and games, even when this was a dead serious problem early on. He didn't stop, he didn't change, or dial it back; everyone else just started acting differently when he does it. The same way in day one he attacks Izuku for having a Quirk, far later on he throws his metal... hair thing at him for daring to talk about his Quirk. And it, like, impales him, but haha! It's just funny now, it's so funny, that we can apparently see Izuku's brain! It's funny that, when Izuku is seriously thinking about his predecessors, Bakugou just instantly insults them for not being famous! Look at how patient Izuku is dealing with him as he acts like a bratty five year old child throwing a fit, look how fond All Might is as he insults his beloved teacher that he probably has deep seated trauma about regarding her untimely death!

In the War Arc, where Bakugou 'Rises'? Maybe ten minutes before his 'Rise', he was threatening to attack Izuku for daring to ask why he's following him. In a war zone.

The entire story, Bakugou has been described as a creature of instinct, a natural born warrior with a talent for battle. All of that is to contrast him with Izuku: where Izuku, instinctively, has the urge to save, Bakugou has the instinctive urge to fight. This is fundamental to him, a core characteristic, one of the (many) ways it's explained about how good he is at fighting.

And yet, suddenly, when Izuku is in danger, he moves without thinking (aka instinctively), but it's not attack Shigaraki, which, you know, he was shouting about doing not too long ago, it's to save Izuku.

And. And am I supposed to believe that?

I mean, fuck. In the FInal Arc, he has a Big Speech in response to SFO: about being 'way over fear and rejection since long ago', which SFO was talking in the context of how they create inequality in society, and how he wants to fix it... which, doesn't that mean Bakugou just doesn't care about them? Because being over them doesn't actually solve them, genius, it just means you, personally, are beyond them, and even now, he still treats everyone like they're unequal to him. Bakugou has always been the one to profit from inequality in society, between his Quirk, his talent, his well off family, so honestly all of that rings hollow.

He talks about how he has friends now, who are willing to move beyond them, and OK, that works a bit better, except when he still doesn't treat them like friends, in fact not too long ago he yelled at Momo for getting his stupid ass chuunibyou name wrong.

Or, maybe a minute later, when Bakugou gets a power up and/or realization about how SFO moves or something, and you know what he does? He instantly charges in blindly, alone, and is killed over it. Right after this speech about teamwork, while everyone was just... cheering his determination, and prissy Best Jeanist says, with a straight face and actual awe, 'Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight'.

And then when he sees Bakugou get smacked around, Eraserhead's first thought is to scream, desperately, 'Save him! Save him so he can try and become the Number One Hero!' in the middle of all this shit that is happening.

All of this is presented to us as this... thrilling thing, with music that is going to be swelling in the background when its animated, and everyone cheering him on, right before he's tragically struck down for being too stupid to live (no, seriously, SFO actually lampshades this. Before this big 'dramatic' moment, he says that getting up close to him is pure idiocy, and all that it will do is allow you to get get smashed by an All Might like power. Then, you know, Bakugou closes in, again, because he had bitchslapped Bakugou before, and then a second time during that boast, and it goes exactly as SFO said) and we're supposed to mourn him. Again, actually, even though this is a blatant set up for him powering up, since this is literally the same set up as the War Arc.

All of this work, all of this emotion, and all of it rings hollow because, well, it's Bakugou, and no amount of trying to hype up teamwork battle is going to make it work for me when the second the Big Moment is over he reverts to his normal asshole routine.

That Tsundere Field, guys. Too strong, too broken.

While I'm at it, let's talk about Bakugou being Quirkist, because, well, he is. It's a big part of his early character: the reason he rags on Izuku so hard, so successfully, the reason he's so big and important as a child, is about Quirks. When they get introduced the past users? His first comment is that they have weak Quirks.

Izuku saves him and he still doesn't think much about him; it's only later when he starts actually acknowledging Izuku.

When he has a Quirk.

And it's not just a Quirk, it's more than that: it's a strong Quirk, powerful. Enough for him to defeat Bakugou. All the respect Bakugou builds for Izuku? And while it stagnates for awhile, I do have to admit he does respect Izuku more than he did originally... and it's not because Izuku is kind, or heroic; he still hates that. No, he starts respecting Izuku because he is strong. His respect isn't about Izuku as a person, it's about Izuku's Quirk. All his respect, slowly built up throughout the series, comes from the corrupt foundation that Izuku is worth respecting only because he has a Quirk. Later, this gets worse because he learns about OFA and starts valuing Izuku as important, but it's only because his Quirk is important. It's All Might's Quirk. His second fight with Izuku is because of it's All Might's Quirk. He starts training him (that one time, and apparently never gain) because it's All Might's Quirk. When Izuku goes 'rogue'? And when he heroically goes to hunt him down? One of the first thing he does is talk about how he's so great because he has One For All, and then calls him an All Might wannabie*.

And you know what? I just talked about Class A hunting down Izuku recently, but let's talk about that more, because I hate it so much.

I really, honestly wonder if Hori is blind to the parallel he set up here, or if he invoked it on purpose, to try and show how Bakugou has 'improved'.

Look back at the first chapter, where we first see Bakugou. Think about that dynamic: Izuku, beaten down, on one side, while on the other, Bakugou. Strong, proud, with minions at his back, all of them ready to throw down at his command.

The thing is? The first time is shown as clearly villainous in nature, a cruel bully against someone who is weak but heroic. The second time, everything is the same, but it's shown differently. Bakugou is being shown as heroic for doing this, heroic for leading Izuku's friends to hunt him down, heroic for attacking him.

*And ah, Bakugou the Hypocrite. Let's finish this up by talking about Bakugou's name. When we first talk about hero names, Bakugou's naming sense is much like it is for his final name, and Midnight promptly shoots down every one of them because, well, they aren't heroic, and the story pokes fun at him a little because he clearly doesn't get it.

Then it's the War Arc. Bakugou has 'grown', there's all this hype for his big heroics moments, and he announces his new name... Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. And I'm just wondering... am I getting punked? This is the the same shit as before! No, actually it's worse than that, it's bigger, longer, and more ridiculous.

The universal response is that it's tacky. Nejire thinks it's disgusting. Mirio literally thinks it's a joke.

But the story itself treats it seriously, and over time? People start accepting it, taking it seriously as well, treating that stupid name with respect. What the fuck kind of hero name has the word murder in it? What kind of hero calls himself a god?

And finally, it's Dynamight. Which resembles All Might, the Greatest, Most Beloved Hero, the one Bakugou has always considered the best and viewed as his goal to surpass.

And yet he says that Izuku, who is calling himself Deku, is the one viewing himself as an All Might wannabie.

[cambrioleur]

Random observations on this season (updating)

(SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Episode 1

I don't think we've ever seen Assane do a genuine fourth-wall break before

OK so Claire has a last name now

Assane really expected that he could just show up and Claire would just fall at his feet

I'm surprised Benjamin is just allowed to continue working at his shop

This feels better-edited than Parts 1 & 2

Name a more iconic duo than Belkacem and failing constantly (she really doesn't listen, does she)

Episode 2

Philippe Courbet sighting

NEVER invite Guédira to a funeral lmaooo

Hang on I'm just now realizing that Juliette is at this funeral, too (she's standing in the second row behind Benjamin and Claire and honestly doesn't seem too upset about Assane's "death")

I like how in the flashback Babakar tells Assane that he reminds him of his mother and then it turns out she was a criminal

This seems to be around the time of Raoul's birthday again; he really can't catch a break on that

Episode 3

New shipping war just dropped: Guédira/Belkacem vs Guédira/Fleur

That bit where Claire was outright begging Benjamin to tell her Assane was alive and he couldn't...that was sad

But then it was followed by Benjamin doing the "uhh my FRIEND just died" act with Belkacem which was funny

This gang of thugs is trying a little too hard tbh

Assane's disguise in this episode is fucking terrible lol

The basketball coach disguise, on the other hand, is the only time I've genuinely thought he wasn't recognizable

Episode 4

Ironically that coach persona is probably the best parenting Assane has ever done

Claire? Doing things that are vaguely cool?? That feels illegal. Also, she looked so proud of herself for swiping that book, lol

Betraying Benjamin was certainly...a choice on Assane's part ("everyone disliked that")

This episode is going to devastate the show's Tumblr fandom

Episode 5

Assane trolling the shit out of Guédira will never not be funny

These 1998 flashbacks are pretty dark actually

Honestly the way Claire got that reveal out of Benjamin was very well-played on her part

Guédira out here looking like present-day Ringo Starr with that disguise

Aww look at Assane playing the matchmaker for Guédira and Belkacem, heh heh

This is easily one of the funniest episodes

Except Benjamin is straight up not having a good time -- it looks like he got beaten up in prison

Episode 6

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure Benjamin knows that Assane betrayed him. It's possible he just thinks that he fucked up with the bracelet and then missed a cue in the maze

"Pasta with ketchup" jesus fucking christ Claire that sounds horrendous (although I'm guessing the only reason they did that was because of the ketchup-bottle reveal)

Assane really has Claire's number because he's now seduced her twice under two different identities

IDK whether or not Raoul has figured out that the coach is his dad but it's funny that he still seemed to be shipping it either way

It's nice that we get to see Claire's more playful side in this season, like her messing with Assane by acting really flirty with "Alex" after she realizes they're the same person

INCREDIBLE casting for the younger and older versions of Keller tbh; they easily look like they could be the same person

Episode 7

What a nice family reunion...it would be a shame if something happened to it...

The flashbacks are significantly darker than the present timeline this time around

Guédira finally got to arrest Assane, good for him!

The scene at the train station with the letter from Assane to Claire sort of reminds me of the ending to A Tale of Two Cities, which I had to read for AP prep a while back

Oh look, Hubert Pellegrini is back

So they're CLEARLY setting up another season with this ending

The choice of people to show on the montage there was interesting, lol

I could see a Juliette antagonist arc happening tbh

Maybe Assane's mom isn't all she seems either

And what about Benjamin? If he turns against Assane the viewers are going to lose their minds

[amphibiahawks321]

M/N : I can't believe we finally get to see our son's girlfriends!

F/N : Hahaha! I know you are excited dear and honestly so am I our son is growing up

KNOCK KNOCK

M/N : Oh it must be them!

[Meanwhile outside]

M!Reader : Remember guys I'm going in first so I can clarify them to not faint when they see you guys

Beidou : Oh come on! They would love us!

Ningguang : What Y/N saying is true beidou we don't wanna see them having a panic attack do we?

Beidou : T-true that

[Holds the door knob]

M!Reader : Ok...I can do this

Ningguang : Good luck my love

[kiss his cheek]

Beidou : Remember if anything goes wrong go outside to us ok?

[Kiss his cheek also]

Beidou : Good luck my seashell

M!Reader : Thank's guys ♥️

[Y/N Took a Deep breath]

M!Reader : Let's do this...

[Y/N enters the house]

M!Reader : Mom! Dad!

M/N : Y/N! It's so nice to meet you again sweetheart! Kisses his cheek repeatedly

M!Reader : Mooooooooom

F/N : Hahaha! You know how you're mother is

M!Reader : Dad!

F/N : Hey champ!

M!Reader : I miss you guys so much!

M/N : we miss you so much too sweetheart! Now where are those girlfriends of yours? I made cookies!

M!Reader : T-thanks mom, they're still outside

F/N : Well what are you waiting for? A kiss on the cheek? let them in I wanna meet your girlfriends

M!Reader : Before I do that... I-I want to tell you guys something

F/N & M/N : ???

M!Reader : .....Please don't faint when you guys meet them

F/N : Woah woah woah calm down there you dating some hilichurls or somethin? hahahaha!

M/N : F/N!

F/N : S-sorry dear

M/N : Why would we faint? Seeing two girls dating our son? PFFTT- please I'm not as weak as your father every time he sees me wearing my good dress

F/N : Hey!

M!Reader : Ok... I trust you two GUYS! You can come in now

[Beidou and Ningguang enter]

Ningguang : it's a pleasure meeting the parents of our lovely Y/N

Beidou : it really is!

[Holds Y/N's hand and kiss his forehead]

Beidou : you two raised me and Ning's Prince very well~

M!Reader : [Stuttering] B-beidou stop your making me flustered

Beidou : that's the plan~

M!Reader : 0/////0

M!Reader : I-i can E-explain?

.......

M/N : .......THE TIANQUAN OF THE LIYUE QIXING?!

F/N : ........THE UNCROWNED LORD OF THE SEA?!

M!Reader explains to F/N and M/N (who almost fainted) how He met ningguang & Beidou and How the three decided to become a three way loving relationship

F/N : I can't believe it... Our son dating THE beidou and THE ningguang

M!Reader : A-are you guys disappointed?

F/N & M/N : Disappointed?!

M/N : This is such an amazing news! my son dating the most independent and the most trust worthy women's!

F/N : I can tell our Y/N is in great hands now!

Beidou & ningguang : he is!/he certainly is

After that All of them started to chat,Eat and even baked cookies together

M!Reader : You two can wait for me in the car I have something to do first

Beidou/Ningguang : Sure thing sweetie/Take your time love

Y/N hugs M/N and F/N

M!Reader : I promise I'll visit you guys more often!

F/N : You better this man couldn't handle your mom alone y'know

M/N : Hey! Sighs me and your dad are so happy that we don't need to be worried about you anymore cause we now know that our Y/N are in good hands now

Beidou : trust me he is!

Ningguang : Beidou roll down the car window you almost ruin a family moment

Beidou : O-oh right S-sorry Y/N

M!Reader : Chuckles it's okay beidou!

.....

M!Reader : Bye mom! Bye dad!

F/N & M/N : Bye Y/N!

[Meanwhile inside the house]

F/N : Wow... Our son dating those two who would've guessed

M/N : His a lady killer reminds me of you in highschool

F/N : Hahaha! Yeah but in the end I chose the best one to end up with

M/N : Oh you!

[Meanwhile with them]

Beidou : Ha! Told you they would love us

Ningguang : sighs yes Beidou you were right

[M!Reader Chuckles at their conversation]

[juanarc-thethird]

Winter is too stressed, so Jaune starts giving her a massage to relax her, which she starts to like. Then the RWBY team walks outside the room and they start to hear Winter moaning with happiness (from the massage) as she talks to Jaune. Do you think they would ignore that talk or stay to listen?

Winter's Office

Winter: *Rubbing her neck in pain*

Jaune: *knock Knock* Hey Winter, wait... are you ok?

Winter: Not really. I've had this pain in my back and neck ever since I started working on the new proposal that General Ironwood asked me to do.

Jaune: It seems that you are very stressed. Would it be okay if I gave you a massage?

Winter: You know how to give massages?

Jaune: When you live with 7 sisters you learn a few things.

Winter: Well, it's better than nothing.

Jaune: Excellent, please lie down on the couch and relax.

Meanwhile, Team RWBY is walking towards the office.

Yang: Are you sure your sister will let us use her ship to go to Patch to see our dad?

Weiss: For the tenth time, yes, she will lend us her airship. Now, when we go into her office, please don't say anything. I don't want you guys to say something dumb and then she says no.

Yang: You got it.

Ruby: *Excited* I can't wait to get home! You will love the place, we have a spectacular ocean view!

Blake: I can't wait to eat fresh fish~ *She licks her lips*

Weiss: Ok, keep quiet, we're here.

Team RWBY arrived at the entrance to Winter's office. Weiss raises her hand to knock on the door, but she stops when she hears something peculiar.

Winter: Aah~💕 Fuck!💕 You're going to break my back, Jaune. Please be caref- Aah~💕 Oh shit~!💕

The girls are petrified. For. them it seems that Jaune is-

Weiss: Don't you dare finish that sentence!

Yang: Who are you talking to?

Weiss: No one important! *She takes out her weapon*

Ruby: *Worried* What are you doin?

Weiss: *Serious* I'm going to kill Jaune.

Ruby: WEISS NO!

Ruby tries to stop Weiss, but her anger is so great that nothing stops her. She kicks the door and enters ready to kill.

Weiss: *Pointing Jaune with her weapon* Take your filthy hands off my sister!!!

In front of them were Jaune and Winter with a confused look. Jaune stops massaging Winter's back, while winter, still wearing her clothes, is still lying down.

Weiss: *Confuse* What are you guys doing?

Winter: *She got up angrily and began to stare at Weiss* That's what I'd like to ask you, Weiss. Why did you break down my door?

Weiss: *Scared* Well, you see… I was…

Yang: She thought you two were banging.

Winter: *Nervous* W-What! We weren't doing that! That's ridiculous!

Jaune: *Nervous* Yeah! We don't have that type of relation ship! I was just giving Winter a massage, that's all! She's been a little stressed these past few days, so I was just helping her!

Weiss: *Embarrassed* Oh... It seems that I was wrong, hehehe. *She laughs nervously* I'm sorry.

Winter: *sighs* It's fine, just tell me why you came.

Weiss: We wanted to ask if we could use your airship to go to Ruby and Yang's house this weekend.

Winter: Wait, this weekend?

Weiss: Yes.

Winter: *Happy* Sure, I will let my pilot know. And if you want to spend more days, just let me know. Anything else?

Weiss: Just that.

Winter: Great, if you don't mind, I want to get back to my massage~💕

Weiss: Sure, thank you Winter.

Winter: Your welcome.

The girls say goodbye and leave the office. On the way back they talk about what they're going to do this weekend, but they realize that Blake isn't talking.

Yang: Something on your mind, Blake?

Blake: Didn't you guys think it was weird that the two of them got nervous when Yang said it sounded like they were fucking?

Ruby: Well, it's a very personal question, and somewhat unexpected. Seemed like a normal reaction to me.

Yang: I agree.

Weiss: *Upset* Wait, are you implying that Jaune and my sister are "close"?

Blake: I'm not saying anything, but she looked kind of happy when she found out you wouldn't be around all weekend.

Weiss: *Worry* Well… maybe she… maybe she has…

Blake: Maybe she has another "massage" appointment with Jaune?

Weiss thought about it for a moment, and then it made sense.

Weiss: *Holding her head with both hands* Oh my god, Jaune is banging my sister.

Blake: It seems.

Yang: Damn, that's tough.

...

...

...

Ruby: So, we're still going to Patch or not?