something i've already posted about in the past but am thinking about again because of the conversations in this episode is that i still truly do not understand bells hells'(well, particularly ashton's) view on what is going to happen if the information about aeor gets sent out to the people of exandria. obviously, i'm not an average person living in that world and am instead a viewer of the media with fairly extensive knowledge of the lore, so i could definitely just be missing what the impact would actually be! but the insistence that it would be a world shattering revelation that completely turns everyone against the odds just... doesn't make sense to me?
unless ludinus has a way of editing the information he presents and can take away the context, which would basically make the "footage" even more strange, what they're going to be seeing is... the gods saving themselves from people with the active ability to murder them all and having a rather humanizing crisis of what they should do about it? i guess the working with the betrayer gods part could be considered the controversial aspect of it, but overall, considering everything else that was destroyed in the calamity, aeor really was the one instance that was closest to being "justified". i don't think anyone who cares enough about the gods for this to cause any sort of big disruption of faith would have as big of a problem with it as they are assuming, nor do i really think it's something that would cause mass revolts against the gods in people who aren't devout.
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I've been seeing a bunch of people adding disclaimers to their billford posts clarifying that they have critical thinking skills about abuse and abusive relationships, and I 100% understand that impulse. When I first made this blog I added disclaimers like that onto nearly everything. But, if it makes the folks adding those disclaimers feel any better: after I stopped writing essays trying to prevent people from taking my billford posts in bad faith, absolutely no one got mad at me in my inbox or on any of my posts, and I've been posting about billford for years now. In my experience the majority of people who are uncomfy with this ship nowadays will simply block and move on. Some folks will disagree no matter how many disclaimers you add, and that's ok
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reading your tags about wishing to have been born male felt like i was reading my own thoughts. i feel literally exactly the same way
This revelation I had at 1 am yesterday should be a joyful one but has in fact made me very sad. Where I live, being trans is basically unheard of, all but illegal (I was surprised to learn there even was transcare here, but of course only in private clinics and the first step to getting gender reassignment care is literally going to a psychiatrist and getting diagnosed as mentally ill, so private doctors may "treat you" :))))) so it's not only expensive but even if I got through it all, my country and my family would never ever accept me.
But, now it's a new day and I made spaghetti and I feel much better with a full stomach, so even though it is not fun to be trans without a modicum of support from the government or people around me, or even available paths to go on without spending all my life savings on it and then being ostracized after it all, I am young and I have my entire life ahead of me. I can do my best, I can live as I have until now and I can one day reach my goal of being who I actually want to be. Who knows, maybe a couple years from now our government will finally change (for the first time in like 20 years there is finally a more left leaning party with even a tiny chance of winning and that's really exciting this is the first time this has happened pretty much since I was born!!) and it may become easier then. Or I could move the fuck away once I am able to like I've wanted to for years with friends who enjoy my company.
In any case, I understand myself a little more now, and that gives a certain confidence and relief, as well as a new life goal to work towards. May we all one day live in a world where people (the government) mind their own business and let people exist as they want to.
Nevertheless, I will still be here writing pretty boy torture :D
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Im gonna say something about sanders sides.
Because here's the thing. I love sanders sides. I grew up alongside it, i introduced friends to it. But im so, so tired.
Its been what, 3 years since we got an episode? And im not counting the ads, or the most recent aside. 3 years since we got actual content continuing the main storyline.
Its so frustrating. Thomas tells us nothing. No idea what hes working on, no timelines to expect, nothing. We're working with crumbs here.
He keeps putting out ads and i used to be excited about them, because who doesnt love merch for your favourite show? Especially a niche one. Official merch, supporting the creator you love, etc. All great things. But when hes posting ads but no actual content, it becomes less exciting and more... sketchy. Like. I dont like the idea of continuing to sell merch for a show that you havent made in years. It feels cheap.
I have a lot of more articulate thoughts that i will eventually articulate but at this point its just frustration. The show was good, it was really good! It had its flaws but overall its a good show. Loveable characters. Compelling plotlines. At this point i dont think we'll ever see the resolution of romans plot.
I thought they were finally gonna address it, it felt like they were building to it, but then they switched to pattons control issues, logans anger issues, virgils (for lack of a better word) anxiety. And while i like those plotlines, it feels like he got swept to the side, a bit. And Roman was never my favourite character but seeing the way hes treated in the show makes me kinda sad. Like theres so much potential. And if the season finale resolves the orange side and logans anger issues and virgils stuff and then after that we can focus on roman a bit? Then great. But when will that be? 2030?
I loved sanders sides. I still do. But the humour is getting dated, and my goodwill is running out. I dont watch any other thomas sanders content. I dont really care about it, tbh. And im getting tired of waiting for another episode of the sides.
I just wish he would say something. Give us some sort of information about whats going on and what to expect instead of serving us ads and filler and in-character livestreams
Idk. Im just so tired. This story and the fandom deserves better
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Chuuya's og ability though...
Chuuya and Dazai were literally two sides of the same coin. Even their abilities are mirrored.
Does this mean him and Dazai could have created a singularity??? That's a terrifying thought...
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Welcome Home Mini Comic: Homewarming
⚠️TW: eyecontact
[Read left to right up+down. No wierd combinations. No, I didn't look up their Homewarming clothing if you're wondering. I messed up.]
AAAAAAH oh boy the love I have for Eddie I CANNOT explain. LIKE HES SO LOVELY OUGHHHH favourite local mailman. <3
Idk if I made correct use of the image ID? I hope I did.
Hm... this was suposed to be a ramble about my guy Eddie but here, have a short fic under the cut.
He is just there. Uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable. The feeling of doom is there. Why. Why is home looking at him like that? What is going on? He wants to go home. He needs to go home. Does he have a home? He has his post office... does that count? Why is home looking at him like that. He needs it to stop. Stop. Stop it. Please. Stop. Oh? Who...? Frank? He can't talk. He realizes vaguely. His eyes go up. Frank... He needs to tell him... His vission is blurry and he feels overwhelmed. He feels... overestimulated..? He doesn't know. He doesn't feel good. Too much... he needs to go home... he needs... he...
And Frank gets it and goes to tell Wally that he wants to leave. Leave? On homewarming? Why? What's wrong? Because something has to be wrong if Eddie of all people wants to leave. So he goes check up on him. Of course he does. Barnaby close behind because... Why does Eddie want to leave? They don't know. But he isn't looking great. He is staring. Shaking. Sweating. Crying silently. That doesn't looks good.
Wally gets it. He would like to do the same. Because Home is now looking at him. Because of course it does. Just... staring. Meanacely. He feels the dread. A chill goes down his spine. Home... what did you do to Eddie...?
Barnaby, fortunately, catches up somethings off with Home. And that means Wallys distressed. So he puts a paw on his shoulder and asks Eddie. He doesn't answer. He tells him what he's going to do as he puts his arm to support Eddie and help him walk so he can go home. He is worried. Wally is worried. Frank is worried. Eddie doesn't look good. He shakes. He won't stop crying. He looks... terrified..? He tries to loose up his shirt. He needs to breathe. He can't. But he is. The others realize a bit too late that he is hyperventilating. Wally does only when he sees Eddie's legs wobble. But then he just... shuts down and goes limp. What. What. What. Why. Why. What. What. No. No. No. What. No. Wait. He can help. Yes. Bed. Bed! He needs... yes, yes! He in bed now. He better? What? What? He better? Please... He opens eyes! He better! Low sugar? More sugar then! He bring sugar. Yes. He better now?
Eddie tries to calm Wally with his words. He doesn't know what just happened. He just... sat down at that couch and suddenly was at Wallys bed, all neighbors worrying sick over him. What happened? He just... has this feeling... something changed.
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