#they make me ILL they make me INSANE i HATE everything /affectionate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chewwypepsicola · 2 years

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can i ask for any color gang + purple specific headcanons? ALSO what did u think of episode 30 :)

RAAAHHH i love sharing hcs okay here we go, ill limit myself to 6 per character so this doesnt get overwhelming or boring heheheh

General stuff, oldest to youngest i see them like this: green, purple, blue, yellow, red, second. i HC that stickfiguresfighting.dotcom is actually a job they all had and that was the way they met (before second), Yellow wanted independence, Green overall just needed to start making money, Red wanted to really fight other people and he dragged Blue along Following up, Blue and Red are siblings, Blue being the oldest and often looking after Red when they were small.

WITH THAT OUT OFTHE WAY.

GREEN: - AUTISM - Oldest of the group but actually a middle child in a very loud household, he loves his family but he's very likely to have wished for a more comfortable space so thats why he moved out rather quickly and got that job - Noise cancelling earphones yesyes - genderfluid any prns pansexual icon - He HATES PDA (public displays of affection) this is a running joke i have that has developed into a proper HC haha, he always makes faces and gagging noises when YellowBlue are being gay in his general field of vision -Following up, despite hating PDA, he's super super affectionate in private when in a relationship, when in public or out of the confiness of his room he's more subtle like knees bumping against eachother under the table or soft looks across a room, THIS IS OF COURSE ALL IN REALTION TO PURPLE, SORRY, I AM A GREENPURPLE ENJOYER.

PURPLE: - My baby my baby youre my baby say it to meeee, thats not HC thats just my honest to go reaction to anything purple avm - Boy might be dog shit at fighting but he's so good at everything else i swear to god, he's super flexible and has a great amount of body strenght since we see him doing all sorts of stunt and gymnatics plus we see him being reasonably good at parkour, which in turn i have decided to take as "oh okay so he kicks ass at parkour he's the best and no one would ever be able to beat him noted." - I think he's decent at cooking but terrible at baking. Not even minecraft cakes come out right when he makes them. - They/he transmasc ourple sorry woa who said that?!?! (also mlm)

BLUE: - ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME woa who said that?!?! what! - These are just canon but stoner epic skater girlfriend material she's so cool and epic - she/him bigender lesbian WOAH! - Alright you got me i'll elaborate on the eldest daughter stuff. SO BASICALLY. in my mind palace since i have decided that he and red are siblings Blue ends up being the oldest of the two, they have a singular parent so this makes Blue go thru the epic /s experience of having to take care of his little brother and their parent, giving up on childhood and dealing w responsabilities she shouldn't have. You might ask where the fuck did this come from and ill reply I HAVE NO CLUE THEY WRITE THEMSELVES OKAY!? - Blue is doing better now if you wanna know how fucked up that syndrome is just google it real quick you will be hit with the force of three trucks, shes an epic stoner gamer girl that likes to now play pranks on his little brother and be a menace. he's still a caretaker at heart and thats why he mostly tasks herself with doing most of the cooking. - THIS ONE IS BASICALLY STOLEN FROM THAT OTHER TUMBLR USER BUT UHH chronic pains after the lava incident yes brilliant send tweet

YELLOW: - Youngest child in a normal nuclear family, has an oldest sibling, relationships w family are not terrible but he always wished he would get more attention and always felt left aside when he tried to talk about his passions and interests - this guy is autism for sure! - he/him transmasc lesbian sorrey bleh - insomniac i share this hc w everyone else in the fandom this guy is just crasy insane and needs blue to remind him to take his sleeping pills and go to bed - after the LAVA incident and blue struggling to walk down the stairs of their house i think everyone agreed to rearrange the rooms and let blue have the bottom one, those two since they are a couple decided to just share a room and yellow made his old room a sort of study or overall "work" room so that he would not bother blue at night

RED: - ADHD (EXPLOSION GIF) - not a single thought behind those eyes but somehow still so smart and just as capable as everyone else OUGH - fisically strongest, not saying he's the best at combat he simply can pack the hardest punch but he might not be doing it the right way and thus hurting himself in the process - SPEAKING OF, ISNT IT FUCKED UP HOW FAR HE PUSHES HIMSELF?! now that we bring up 30 and everything that came before it i just could Not help but notice the way red passed out like three times during that whole battle, that boy had multiple broken bones and was running on pure adrenaline fighting w his own body to not give up, despite being the one more battered and bruised he kept standing back up and throwing himself right in the line of fire he makes me so sad OUGH -he/him transman realness mlm PHEW - i think that second and he passed out on the couch they moment they all realize they were out of danger you could not wake up those two up for a week they needed the rest SECOND: -trying my best to not run out of ideas here cause i know i have many hcs relating to them but also ive already wrote down a phew a while ago let me think uhhh - youngest. baby of the group, but for some fucked up reason he has decided to take on the "im the more responsible one here i need to look after all of you" role like a DUMMY - it makes very sad to think of him worrying himself so much w the safety of the others cause he has seen first hand that they are way more fragile than him, he doesnt know WHY he endured so many of Dark's attacks in ShowDown but he knows he did and he remembers vividly seeing his friends fight for their lives right in front of his eyes, of course he is going to be burdened with that weight. - Second has terrible separation anxiety that's not even a HC thats basically canon he can not be at ease until everyone is together and he is reasssured that they are okay OUGH (sounds of crying) - Little guy has awful nightterrors that leave him just sitting at the edge of his bed staring off at nothing until he falls asleep again, Green caught him one night and was like "hey you good why are you sleeping sitting like that?" and Second had to explain and Green offered to sleep w him so he would be more comfortable, Second now tends to ask green or red to keep him company when it happens smiles

OKAY THATS ALL!!! as usual i shall share a doodle, please forgive any grammar and spelling mistakes english isnt my first language we are doing the best we can over here hahah, here's the doodle! with my family headcanons for the colors and an extra "family photo" for the hollowheads haha

#THANK YOU WHOEVER READ TILL THE END WAAAAAA #love these guys they run around my head like little hamsters #ene answers #avm #animation vs minecraft #avm purple #avm green #avm red #avm blue #avm yellow #avm the second coming #PHEW #ene does art #while we are at it

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iminthemiddleofyourpicture · 9 months

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She took a deep breath. It wasn't the first time they had talked about this topic. And for some reason, like an avalanche that can't be avoided, the usual conversations about family, the weather or studies always ended up leading them to questions about her health, especially the one she neglected like a dog dumped on the street. She tried to speak naturally, of course; scaring them wasn't what she wanted. Maybe, one day, she would have liked them to be afraid of losing her, but at that point, the only thing she wanted them to understand was that she was someone ill and that they should, at least for once, act a little more gently; she would have liked them to speak more softly to her, as if these feelings were a severe headache, to touch her skin more affectionately as if the anguish were a summer fever.

Of course, her father had his own opinions. "It's all in your head", "you smoke too much!", "you need to control yourself!", "why don't you control yourself?". Her mother seems more patient, and touches her on the wrist when she recriminates her father's words and says that he doesn't understand, she cuddles the familiar skin that was once in her womb and says to him "it's not as simple as you say, some things need more help, more patience".

She can't remember when she raised her voice. "Listen to me!", "Listen!" and how she got to the point of saying, in all honesty, that she had tried to end her own life at the age of fourteen, long before she tasted cigarettes for the first time, long before all the things he considers terrible were part of her life. "You don't have a bad life," someone shouts back, "you think I don't know? I know… I have a good life, I have great friends, I'm loved, I'm finishing college, I'm in a good job, I have a nice house… That's the point! I know that everything is great and that I should be grateful. But why am I still so tired? Is it all in my head? Do I have to stop looking for help because it's all my fault?"

"My best friend died looking for the same answers," she wanted to go back home or to work or anywhere she didn't have to feel so vulnerable. And when her father held her, she felt like she could melt in the arms of someone she hated for almost half her life. She barely hugged him back. She knew it was too late to be the little girl who rests on a warm, familiar arm and lets herself be accepted. She received the kiss on the top of the head with the same levity as a handshake. "I'm not alone," she said, trying to end the conversation in another way, "I have good friends, people who care for me and who will help me, I just need you to be patient. I get up every day, I work, I eat, I'm sitting here in front of you now… That says a lot about how hard I try! Just be patient with me, please."

There was a confusing silence for the first few moments. The coffee was getting cold and the food was showing signs of bad digestion. She knew she should be silent, she knew she should act like someone completely normal in front of those who had given her life; but most of the time she found herself kneeling at their feet looking for something, something she couldn't even describe in words. Some specific look, some expression that would make her feel that going mad wasn't so predictable. Her mother said, in the middle of dozens of sentences, that she had always been like that. "You've always had these things…"

"These things…" she wanted to reply.

She wanted a cigarette, according to her father, the supposed cause of part of her depression. At the same time, she felt the almost inevitable agony to throw herself into the sea and feel at least once more the terror of icy water entering her lungs. She tried to change the topic, to talk about the preparations for Christmas, the clothes her mother had bought, the cats, the taste of food… Naturally, the conversation turned once again to the weather, the family, her studies. Not a word more. Nothing that could be added about her insanity. Her father never looked at her again and she doesn't even remember saying goodbye to him when she left.

Everything was "fine". And everyone could get on with their lives. Again. The wound was already open, gaping and bleeding. And she could walk through the door and leave them to their coffees, their quiet lives, their sewing lines and their warm, welcoming home. They wouldn't remember that conversation, how they broke her in half and made her spew out unwanted truths. And she would continue, one step to the next, on her way to work. And get on with her day. Simply. As all families do.

She felt, deep down, that this was a good thing for the most part. Being able to talk about how she really felt after years of hiding her pain. Being able to tell them, even if they didn't really listen. This clarity of mind, this feeling that she was completely clear and that she no longer needed to lie in order to appear even remotely adequate. "Please don't fuck with me, I'm a sick person," seemed more acceptable than when they treated her like stone. As if she felt nothing at all. They know and can no longer hide the fact that they know. That's enough for her, at least, she tries to convince herself of that.

No apologies, no hugs and even less help (that would be too late). But the mere feeling that they are aware. That's enough somehow. That her potential, that everything she has always planned has never come true and that this thing she is today, this aspect without palpable feelings, distant and cold is not necessarily arrogance.

Maybe, somehow, they can love her a little more by knowing that it's not anger. Just tiredness.

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bangtangalicious · 3 years

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cancelled (2) | myg, jjk

summary: you cheated on your boyfriend, one of the most sought after boys on campus, with the nerd from the back of the lecture hall. now a video has leaked across and everyone is turning against you for hurting such a perfect s/o.

pairing: yoongi x reader ft jungkook

wordcount: 3.7k

genre: smut, yandere!yoongi and nerd!jungkook exyandere!jungkook

established-relationship!au college!au cheating!au

warnings: reader discretion is advised. penetrative sex, unprotected sex, really steamy sex, ring tease (is that a thing), yoongi is a master with his tongue but we knew this, manipulative behavior, yandere behavior, controlling, dirty talk, guilting, mentions of past dubcon activity, illicit filming, mentions of mental illnesses, gaslighting, toxic behavior. this is pretty dark so dont read if it bothers you

twoshot: part 1 | part 2 | masterlist

There are some scents we find comforting. Not necessarily because of the nature of the scent itself, but because of a memory associated with it. For you this scent was Yoongi’s burnt pancakes. They were not good, he knew that and so did you. But your heart would almost burst with joy at the gesture, and you could never quite deny him when he would ask to make you breakfast. The way his kitten like eyes would be full of excitement, eager to please you.

In this case, the scent made you feel guilt. A common theme over the past few days after the entire school had access to a livestream of you cheating on the most loveable, pure and kind guy on campus.

But he was not mad.

Something stirred in you. You wished he was angry, wished that you two would fight it out. At least that would result in a resolve of some sort. You were now simply immersed in a stale mate. Not forgiven, but not accused. Not innocent but not guilty.

You had blocked Jungkook right away, not even entertaining how he would be handling the situation. You had bigger problems.

And those problems manifested into your sweet boyfriend making you pancakes.

“Here you go baby” He handed you a plate. Not an ounce of negativity was seen in his eyes. You felt like you were going insane.

Your phone beeped, another notification. You were not even shocked to see it was just another random person yelling at you for what you had done’ You’d seen it all— death threats, people telling you you were the scum of the earth. Internet hate knew no boundaries. You had lost all your friends. Even your family caught news and did not want to speak with you at the moment. All you had was Yoongi.

“Listen y/n” Yoongi kelt down in front of your seat, placing his hands on your knees affectionately. “I know things are hard right now. If you want, you and I can leave this place. We can leave and go somewhere else where people won’t know about all this.”

Tears escaped the edges of your eyes, “We can’t just leave…No one will hire me, a background check will show up with PornHub on the first search result. I’m ruined.”

“I’ll get the video taken down y/n. Clearly that guy did not have your consent to post it.”

“That isn’t the point” You screamed, grasping his hands firmly as you sobbed, “Everyone knows it happened. They know I was unfaithful. To you. The love of my life. Literally the most perfect angel of a human ever. I’m so horrible I don’t even know why I did it I just…”

Yoongi kissed the tops of your hands. “I know…he manipulated you didn’t he? Guys are the worst. He made you think you wanted it.”

For some reason you were not that mad at Jungkook. Maybe it was because you were too occupied with your own guilt. You did not feel like he coerced you, but telling Yoongi that wouldn’t have really mattered.

“Come on baby. Let’s move somewhere. And let’s get married. I’ll be able to give you what you need. You’ve been such a good girl for holding out so long. We can start over, together, away from all this. There’s nothing else here for us”

The idea was tempting, but your heart clenched thinking you would never see this beautiful campus again. Your friends, your classmates, none of them.

Yoongi reached into his pocket and brought out a small velvet pounch. In it was a dainty little diamond ring, the studs circling in a simple and elegant design. He held the ring to you and you simply gaped at him.

“Baby…You know I love you. I know you love me. So you messed up, who doesn’t? You’re human, and I denied you of what you needed and I am sorry for that. Marry me y/n. Marry me and leave this place with me. Let’s go where no one can ever find us, and be together forever”

You were too young for this. Sure, being in a long-term relationship might not have the same freedoms as being single, but being married was a whole other level of commitment. You knew it would come eventually, but it was still so sudden. But how could you say no? What right did you have to deny the kindness and love of this man after what you did to him? You couldn’t be an even bigger bitch and end your relationship after this could you? It would look so bad. People would think you dumped him because he didn’t want to have sex, which would make you look like a slut and then…

Your mind was dizzy. Yoongi simply chuckled, beginning to kiss the tops of your knees. Inching slowly in the direction of your thighs.

Once his lips were close enough to the hems of your pajama shorts that you were sensitive, you let out a surprised yelp. Yoongi grinned, face still pressed in the inside of your thigh, ring in hand. He wiggled his tongue in a way to push past the cloth, looking up at you briefly with a twinkle in his eye before his hot tongue barely traced your heat.

“Y…yoongi” Your heart rate picked up as Yoongi bit the crotch of your shorts and began to drag it down. It was an erotic sight, and you couldn’t help but feel shivers as you anticipated his next move. Then he did something shocking. He took the diamond ring and placed it flat against your exposed clit, his finger in the circle holding it against you. The cold metal felt amazing. He slowly dragged the ring along your folds, watching as you twitched. He lined the ring up with your entrance and next thing you know he shoved his finger through the ring and into you. You cursed loudly.

“Just say yes. Say you’ll marry me and I’ll give you everything you need baby girl”

He twisted the ring harshly against you causing you to squirm. “F…fuck yes. I’ll marry you. I love you. I love you” You were chanting like it was your mantra. Yoongi grinned and slid this ring onto your finger. He stared momentarily at your hand before returning his gaze to you and capturing your lips in a deep kiss. He kissed you with a hunger you had never quite felt from him before.

“I love you y/n. Now it’s just you and me.” He whispered as he trailed kisses down to your collar, using his skilled tongue and teeth to wiggle off each button, his hands planted on your thighs. He disrobed you, sliding your body to the edge of the chair in order to give him access. You let your legs spread wide. You almost couldn’t believe what was happening.

You had dreamt of this moment for so long. The day you would finally be able to have your boyfriend’s cock buried deep in you. The day where you could curse out his name in pleasure and love him right like he deserved.

Yoongi got up to take off his own clothes. You had never seen him fully naked before, just his chest. You always had an inkling he was big, after feeling him get hard after steamy make-out sessions. Him then politely stepping away to calm down, then cuddling with you affectionately.

His cock popped out, already hard and eager. You couldn’t help but lick your lips at the sight. Yoongi shook his head to try to get his hair out of his eyes, and an evil smirked played his lips. He stroked his cock harshly while looking at you.

“Look at you” He sneered, “My little slut, so eager for me. You needed cock so bad you’d just go anywhere for it isn’t that right hm?” You shook your head.

“Yoongi…I’m yours…I just want you” You tried to spread your legs even wider, the chair beneath you pressing into your back uncomfortably.

Yoongi walked up close so that he was standing inches away from where your legs were splayed out for him. “Show me how sorry you are you whore” He spat. You whimpered, his words hitting too close to home. You blinked back tears as he slowly lowered himself onto you, the rails of the chair almost cutting into your skin, making you wince in pain.

“Yoongi…let’s go to the bed…” You suggested weakly as his kisses found your breasts and he nipped away at you. He shook his head, allowing his face to pummel in the suffocation of your tits.

“Do you deserve the bed?”

“No but…” You looked away, “It’s our first time”

Yoongi paused, his head still rested against the valley of your chest. He got up suddenly and gripped your hips, picking you up off the chair into his arms. Your naked legs wrapped around him, and your wet core could feel his toned stomach. You couldn’t help but grind at the friction. Yoongi kissed you again, gentler now, his lips swallowing you in so that you could feel every ounce of his pure love. He carried you to the bed and slowly released you onto you back.

He stroked himself a few more times before lining himself up with your entrance. You were soaking at this point, your pussy drooling for cock.

“I love you” He said, not looking at you so much as the desperate clenches of your pussy onto nothing.

“I love you too babe” Now he looked at you. A dark gaze had overtaken him. The love in his eyes was absolutely gone, and there seemed to me a strange aura of anger.

“You’re mine y/n. Once this cock goes in, it’s the only cock you’re ever going to get.”

“I know baby”

“I’m going to fuck you. All the time. You and me, just you and me. You’re all mine. All mine to play with”He started to rub his cock in circles against you, “My little girl, sweet little whore all for me to fuck whenever I want to.” He entered you in one thrust, causing you to yelp as the push of the girth against your walls was too sudden for you to adjust.

“Gonna fuck you up so good” He exhaled, funding into you mercileslly, “My wife, my beautiful fucking wife. My little cocksleeve, baby girl ohhhh” You squirmed in frustration as Yoongi came inside you, his hot seed reaching the depths of you and filling you to the brim. “Shit. You felt so good baby, I’m sorry”

You shook your head. You were more than pleased with the experience. “It’s okay baby.”

“I’ll make it up to you” He pulled out and rolled you into his embrace, nuzzling his face into your chest. “I’ll make you cum so many times baby, we have forever to do it. You’re all mine now”

“Yes baby, all yours”

Jungkook bit his nails nervously. He had called up an old hacker friend to help him get into Yoongi’s computer. Something was off. Jungkook would know. Cameras? It had to be Yoongi. It made too much sense, but the question was why. Why would he want the whole school to see someone else fucking his girlfriend?

“Jungkook” His friend, Seokjin, was typing away frantically into a large computer, “Bro this is fucking insane”

“What?” Jungkook rolled his seat up to get a better look at the screen. They now had accessed Yoongi’s servers, and there was all the incoming footage from various cameras all around campus. Under each panel was a small description: Y/n’s biology class, Y/n’s favorite bathroom, etc.

“This guy keeps fucking tabs on his bitch yo. I thought you said they’d been together for a while”

“They have…” Jungkook peered at the footage. “Somehow I don’t think she knows he watches her like this”

“No shit” Seokjin made wild eyes at Jungkook sarcastically and smacked him. Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“I have to tell her. Something is fucked here”

“Look, I don’t know these people, but I have heard about guys sort of isolating their girls so that they become really, like, dependent or something. So that they can take them away and do whatever they want. Pretty fucked.”

Jungkook considered his friends words. “You might be onto something…He could be guilting her into staying with him…” Like an epiphany, the pieces fell together, “Marriage. He’s gonna make her marry him.”

“That’s fucked.”

“Dude shut-up,” Jungkook snapped, his protective instinct now in overdrive. “Give me your keys, I need to tell her. I have to go save her”

“Why?” Seokjin chuckled, “It’s really none of your business. You barely know her too, you guys are nothing but classmates” Jungkook’s heart dropped at the statement.

He shouldn’t care right? He was better now. Was interfering in her life just him becoming obsessive again? Was he reading too much into it?

“Fuck. You’re right. I’m insane” He exhaled, “My first instinct was to hack into her boyfriend’s computer uh, I clearly need to calm down” Seokjin hummed in agreement as he continued to click around on Yoongi’s server.

There were a few moments of silence before something inside Jungkook just ticked. She wasn’t safe. He could just tell. She needed him. He had to find her. “No…no, dude. If there is even a slight chance that she’s in danger I can’t…I can’t let that happen” Seokjin shrugged and tossed him his keys. Jungkook let the key ring twirl on his finger as he quickly dashed out of his apartment.

Yoongi and you had been at it for hours, not being able to get enough of each other’s bodies. You were xausted, laying on the couch butt naked, straddling Yoongi and hugging him tightly. Your skin was sweaty, and so was his. You guys were sticking to one another like glue. The smell of sex was evident throughout the room. You probably would have fallen asleep like that if it weren’t for the sudden phrasing on your door.

“Y/n! Y/n are you in there! It’s Jungkook, please it’s important!” He screamed urgently. Your eyes widened and you looked at Yoongi who simply had a silly grin on his face. He released his hold on you, allowing you to get up

“Um…give me second” You called back, running to your room to find some clothes. Yoongi got dressed as well.

You opened the door and Jungkook popped inside the moment he could fit through the crack.

“I…I need to show you something” Jungkook glanced at Yoongi who was simply grinning with an interested expression. “In my apartment…please…look I know you don’t want to be seen with me, but I promise you I did not film us. I didn’t even want” Yoongi glared at him and he shut his mouth, “Look please, please Y/n you have to believe me. Come over and I’ll show you”

He was gripped your forearms tightly and you wiggled away. “Um…I’m definitely not going to go to your apartment Jungkook” You scoffed, “Just say what you have to say right here”

Jungkook gulped, and Yoongi licked his lips, extremely amused and anticipating the events that were going to follow.

“Can we talk in private?” Jungkook looked deep into your eyes, searching for any small ounce of trust you might have left in him, and ultimately coming up dry.

“No. Just say what you have to say” You said, crossing your arms.

Yoongi paced over to where Y/n was standing and placed a hand on your hip from behind. Jungkook glared at him and he glared right back.

“It was you” Jungkook said dryly, a serious expression causing him to clench his jaw, “You’re a fucking psycho”

Yoongi tilted his head to the side, “Excuse me?”

“You filmed us. She didn’t tell you to pay me to fuck her did she? Hm? No. You, you paid me to fuck her and you filmed it, you live streamed it so that the whole world could see. All so that she wouldn’t have anywhere to turn but to you. You’re a manipulative bastard and a predator and Y/n” Jungkook met your outraged eyes, “You are not safe with this guy. I have proof”

“What the fuck are you saying? Are you high?” You slapped him harshly.

There was a moment of silence as Jungkook touched the side of his face that you hit, looking back up at you bitterly. “I know it sounds crazy. But he literally has cameras following you around everywhere. He watches your every move. He’s sick. Go to his computer and check if you don’t believe me”

“Actually it’s funny you should say that” Yoongi piped in, a charming expression still on display, “The other day I found something really interesting about you Jungkook” He quickly went and grabbed his laptop, opening it up to show them the screen. “You’re calling me a psyco, but you really just want Y/n all to yourself don’t you. You’re the one who’s a creep. I mean,” He scoffed, “I can’t believe you filmed this” He pressed play.

The blood drained from Jungkook’s face. It was a video of you and him. All those years ago. Fucking senselessly, two horny teenagers, all over your house.

Your mouth hung open in shock. You blinked, looking from the screen to Jungkook to try to convince yourself what you were seeing was real.

“You…when did this happen…is that me?” You stuttered, the scenes unfolding in the video overwhelming you. It was definitely your house, and he was definitely moaning your name.

“Y/n…No, I…” Jungkook was at a loss for words. He glared at Yoongi, who was smirking still.

Jungkook grabbed your hair and shoved you up against the window, your chest pressing into the glass. Anyone walking past would be able to see your naked body on display. He let his nose trace from your ear to the back of your neck, inhaling your sweet aroma. You whined his name, trembling as his grip tightened and he pulled your hair back.

“You know how many times I’ve wanted to do this? Hm? You know how bad I’ve wanted to just bend you over and fuck you right when I see you? Years. I’ve wanted this for years. Such a sweet…sweet girl. I knew you’d taste so sweet” He thrusted into you and you moaned his name in pleasure. “Just like that my sweet baby, mmm. Scream for me. Tell me how much you love it” He turned you around and picked up through legs, stopping briefly to remove his glasses.

“Wait…” You panted, your breasts heaving with your deep expirations. “Keep them on”

Jungkook smirked.

“Why?”

“I…I like them…I like you…”

You dropped the the floor in shock. You couldn’t remember any of this, but you did remember feeling some type of way about Jungkook’s glasses. You didn’t even want to know what happened. You needed him to leave. You just wanted Yoongi. Yoongi was simple, kind, and loved you. Jungkook was only making life more and more complicated.

“Get out” You growled at him.

“Y/n…please I know how this looks but you have to believe me”

“He’s clearly obsessed with you. Went to your highschool, followed you to college and didn’t even tell you. He’s probably been stalking you this whole time” Yoongi muttered, clicking his tongue in pity, “Poor guy probably has something wired wrong in his head. I hope you get the help you need Jungkook, really. But I think you better go if Y/n doesn’t want you here” Yoongi politely put his hand on Jungkook’s back to lead him out.

“Y/n! He’s crazy. Yoongi is crazy. He paid me to have sex with you I…” Jungkook held up his wrist, “He gave me this watch! Half a million dollars to do it. See?” You looked to see he was in fact telling the truth, Yoongi’s pricey watch was on his wrist. Yoongi turned to you and gave you a concerned look.

“Oh gosh. I’ve been looking for this, I though I lost it somewhere.” He said innocently, sliding the watch off of Jungkook’s wrist. “Did you steal this Jungkook? Look, my buddy knows a really good therapist, I’ll email you his contact information, please do get some help okay”

“No…” Jungkook struggled violently against Yoongi who was calmly trying to push him out the door, “Y/n…please believe me…I…I don’t even like you okay. I don’t!”

You scoffed, hands open aimlessly as you sat on the floor, still dazed. The tape of you and Jungkook still playing.

Finally Yoongi managed to drag Jungkook out. He was gone for a bit, but you didn’t notice because you were lost in pure shock, trying to desperately search your memory for answers.

When Yoongi came back, he was wearing a pair of glasses. “Hi baby. Are you feeling any better? Poor thing” He knelt down by your side.

“Are those Jungkooks?” You asked. Yoongi nodded, taking the frames off into his hands.

“Yeah. I figured if you like them I may as well take them”

“He just gave you his glasses?”

Yoongi paused.

“I just…took them” Right after he beat in his skull with a baseball bat in the alley behind your apartment.

#bangtansmutnet #bts smut net #btssmutcentral #bangtansmutcentral #bangtansmut #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fic recs #jungkook smut recs #jungkook yandere #yoongi yandere #yandere!bts #yandere!yoongi #jungkook fanfic #btssmut #bts smut #yoongi fic recs #yoongi x you

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adhdsix · 4 years

Text

i gotta sleep soon so ive decided i will finally dump a buncha my headcanons here aswell adfhsf theyre all in here but im gonna copy paste them as a post as well because i wanna ill be updating the doc a lot but i probably wont edit the post much notes slight spoilers but not much? i dont think? mono is written to be the tallest because rcg is more like a bonus i guess? but she is the tallest + oldest (this goes for other similar things written abt six, mono and/or rk) some of these are more like what-if scenarios (ex. modern stuff mentioned like cars) that could fit maybe in an au of sorts rather than entirely canon all links are safe

Six

she/it/they

ADHD

Tasteblind, but sensitive to certain food textures

Shortest by a lot, youngest but not by much Zero sense of time

Likes lullabies, gets Mono to sing them to her (likes to make up her own versions sometimes) Short attention span, unless she’s insanely invested in something

Definitely bites ice cream Uses Mono like a cat tree, climbs all over him, loves to sit up on his shoulders or just literally drape herself around his neck like a scarf (Mono eventually gets used to it, but she still can’t stay there for long or it starts to hurt) (possibly a little random but think like .. them + )

Likes most toys but hates dolls, usually tears them apart/messes with them for fun Not a huge fan of rain, but the sound is calming, and she loves the aftermath, which includes the smell, dew on grass, just how everything looks, worms and snails coming out of hiding, and splashing in puddles

Likes teddy bears (big and cuddly, plus, reminds her of Mono)

You are not immune to her puppy eyes. Raincoat Girl is probably the only person who is

Collects things a lot, gets attached to certain items for a random amount of time When she learns a new phrase or word, she loves to repeat it to herself ( not really in the “ look at me i learned a new word and i'm gonna use it all the time “ type way, she just finds it entertaining, kinda like vocal stimming ) Does a similar thing when she finds something that someone else said funny, mocks them by repeating it and giggling

Likes making "nests" out of her stuff

Definitely occasionally runs on all fours, it's usually not for too long though.

Most of the time it’s momentarily while she's already in the middle of sprinting, to give herself a boost with a bound or two, or if she trips or feels herself falling forward while running she'll shift onto all fours which is is how she originally developed that "reflex", to prevent herself from falling while running, but eventually she started using it a little more often

She can also just walk normally on all fours too but she usually only uses it while running

She likes to show off her object collections to Mono, he’s very supportive :] Loves long car rides, as well as Runaway

Brings mono gifts (usually dead rats, birds, etc. or bizzare objects from her collection that reminded her of him for whatever reason)

Hates drinks like soda or sparkling water, anything fizzy is a no-no

Likes shiny things Her pupils widen (that cat thing) when she sees something interesting, or something/someone she likes Plus her eyes shine in the dark / in photos sometimes, they usually look red

Mono gave Six their lighter

Heterochromia, their right eye is a dark, reddish brown, the other is milky white

Always chewing on stuff

Fidgets lots, stim buddies with Mono Six stims by rocking on her feet, bouncing, cracking her fingers and shaking fists most often She also vocal stims lots, mostly by repeating animal noises

It’s got tons of freckles

She likes to sing, and is very good at it but doesnt get to very often

it’s favorite things to sing are hypno and sunshine ( 11:11 hypno, sunshine )

Not super into arts, but loves to draw, and is very fascinated by origami

Often refers to Mono as a nerd (affectionate) (also sometimes dork)

Purrs, growls, hisses etc. Because she doesn't talk much, she adapts more animal-like ways of communication, not only vocally but also physical stuff (slow blinking, headbutting stuff, mostly cat-like traits and reflexes. also she likes to drop stuff off of shelves and tables just bc its fun)

Doesn't know her own strength a lot of the time

Very touch starved (they all are) even if she doesn't realise it

Flinches and/or swats others away when touched Eventually they get used to Mono, he's the only person that can touch her at all, but she still has limits

No sense of others personal space though

She’s great at tracking things, mostly small animals

Super ticklish, not very happy that Mono found out

Very visual memory

She really loves all types of music, ranges from things like 100 gecs type stuff, to calm instrumental kinda things, literally anything with maybe a few exceptions Shark teeth, very sharp, loves making dents in stuff with them

Cat-like claws too (retractable maybe?? why not.. it usually has them out though) Love-hate relationship with snow, they find it weird and kind of icky, but Mono teaches her how to make snow angels, forts and snowmen, and she loves snowball fights (Mono regrets teaching them about those though), plus she adores going back inside and just drinking hot chocolate with Mono and sometimes other friends :] Mono he/she Tallest of the three, oldest as well Colorblind He has vitiligo Loves all sorts if arts and crafts, often drags Six into making stuff with him Her hair is very soft, even if it doesn't look like it Very touchy-feely, with others and with objects Knows and respects others boundaries. Six does not He will often push his own boundaries though He’s very protective, usually feels the need to put others safety and health in front of her own A little naive, will protect even if she isn’t getting anything in return from the person(s) Likes skirts! Mono loves to learn about his friends and their personalities, strengths, weaknesses etc. to use for their own benefit! For example, he has a different way to cheer up each friend, and does his best to include them in stuff he thinks they'll also like Loves any happy sounding music the most, but listens to lots of other stuff too (a few songs that remind me of him not lyric-wise but like, sounds like he'd listen to them, are She Wants Me (to be loved), Dancing in my Room, Sunday Best and Sunkissed type stuff, I don’t know music genres so) Favorite drink is probably coffee Loves all sorts of soup!! Has lots of nicknames for Six! Mostly uses kitty and shortcake (it hates them but gets used to them, only from Mono though; some of the other kids use them to get on her nerves, doesn’t end well for them) Love loves bugs! Six likes them too, but isn't as interested as Mono and Runaway (she likes to eat them) Runaway he/they Almost as tall as Mono, noticable difference though He loves chocolate milk and tea Probably the most reasonable out of the three Despite this, he still likes to annoy them (mostly Six) Similarly to Six, he sucks at keeping track of the time Likes goldfish snacks a lot His nomes are always nearby when he is Really likes coloring books and puzzles They love the sound of pianos, not the best at playing it but likes messing with them in his free time with Six (their rare bonding moments) Loves any instruments really, pianos are just his favorite Has the biggest sweet tooth Also loves bugs!! Mono and him are bug buddies His favorite bugs are caterpillars and butterflies, he isn’t a very big fan of spiders though (Mono didn’t used to mind them, but after the hand incidents in the hospital, he finds them icky; too similar) Bonus; RCG she/they Tallest as well as oldest (again, not oldest by much though) Big sister vibes Super supportive Usually in charge of keeping others in line, doesn’t mind a little chaos here and there though (even if it doesn’t usually end well) Also has a few freckles, not nearly as much as Six Lots of energy that often rubs off on the others when she’s around Probably the most responsible, great with kids younger than her Loves teaching the others how to do stuff, has the longest attention span which makes it easier Very playful and teasing, but still knows and respects boundaries when it comes to that kinda stuff Gets easily stressed out and nervous when she doesn't know what to do, as she feels like she always has to be responsible aaaand thats all 4 now! i might do more characters like comic kids if i get enough ideas but thatll be in the doc if i ever do pleas share with me ur hcs and ideas too!!!! if u wanna i would love 2 see them!!

#six rambles #like i said i update the doc #but prob wont update the post with it #not very often atleast #little nightmares #little nightmares 2 #very little nightmares #vln #headcanons #six #mono #runaway kid #the girl in the yellow raincoat #long post

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ff15trashgoldenslumbers · 4 years

Text

Omens Finale

I’ve had a few request about Omens, just wanted to make sure that it was concluded properly and I wasn’t phoning it in. So without further ado Omens’ Finale.

~~~~~~

“Yes!”

No!

“I love to.”

I hate it!

“Please, my love?”

Fuck you!

You hated this, you hated this so much! No matter what you wanted to say, the opposite is what came from your mouth, all because of that spell.

That spell, that damn spell backfired on you! You had misread one line, one Six Damn line and now you were a prisoner of your own design. You figured that you were well versed in ancient writings and reading! There was no way that you misread the stupid spell!

Place on the heart and by the mind, your spell will work in due time. A peaceful rest and you will find, your hearts and soul quite a lined

a lined

A LINED!

At the time you were so caught up in trying to escape, that hadn’t even realized it. Of course that wasn’t a break up spell, it was a stupid heart to heart spell. Only when you found yourself awakened three days later in that false embrace did you even realize that you were still in this hell.

How foolish could you be?

Apparently dumb enough to pick one that had been working for well over a month at this point. Each time you try to pull away, it would only make the spell work harder against you. At times you weren’t even certain of what you truly wanted.

Your body felt like it was trapped within some type of limbo all the time. You were always arguing with yourself, constantly fighting as the you that hated this, that hated being this way. Treated so fragile, so coddled and weak.

Against a part that started so small and quiet, who loved it. It was so soft at first, you were able to ignore and over power it from time to time, but eventually you began to notice that it was becoming something stronger.

In moments of clarity you’d find yourself tearing through libraries and ancient tomes trying to find a way, some way to leave, to break this spell but then you heard the other you.

They love us, don’t you see?

As you sat in this room, alone with your thoughts, you wanted to try, you wanted to try and find some way to break this curse, but each time you attempted to stand to go to those book lined shelves that got you into this mess, that other voice you tried to kill, would stop you.

“They love us.”

They don’t!

“They always have, can’t you see.”

They want control, they want to keep me a pet.

You weren’t even aware that you had begun to pace, the long trains of the dress you were wearing dragging against the floor, as your heels clacked against the cold hard floor.

“They don’t, they truly do love us.”

There is no us! This is my body and you’re just a spell, a spell that has gone on too long.

“No, can’t you see,” You feet stopped pacing as you moved before the large floor length mirror, framed by spirals and swirls of beautiful design. Still the beauty of the mirror was long forgotten as you stared ahead directly into the mirror meeting your own gaze.

Red, a beautiful red, that may have once reminded you of love, sat in a heart shape in your eyes.

“You are me.”

Those words left your lips, at the same time you grabbed one of the vases from one of the side table, throwing it as hard as you could into the mirror with a scream of defiance, watching as the large mirror shattered around you. Almost in slow motion as you kept catching glances of that red, that beautiful red seeming to be mocking you time and again. You felt like you were drowning, but still you kept screaming.

I’m not crazy!

You chanted this time and time again like a mantra, but it seemed like it was getting softer, quieter each time. Were you crazy, was that a part of this spell, was it making you insane? You were fighting with yourself.

“Y/N?”

You turned, tears in your eyes, a whirlwind of destruction around you. So caught up in the rage and hate, you hadn’t noticed the destruction around. Books destroyed, glass everywhere, furniture upturned. But in all that destruction, there they stood, almost like a beacon of hope.

A glass of water in this horrid desert you found yourself in.

You gave a sniff, feeling one of your shoes slip on a torn page, as you raced across the room with a soft wail into arms opened for you.

“Shh, shh it’s okay, Y/N.”

You gave another cry, hearing those sweet comforting words from Prompto.

“Darling, you’re hurt.”

You felt Ignis trying to take your hand from where you had clenched tightly to Noctis, trying to form some type of sentence, but each time it came out in frustrated wails.

“Let Iggy, see you hand, Babe.”

At the soft voice of Gladiolus, you allowed Ignis to see to the hand, your face still buried into Noctis’s neck. Prompto’s comforting hand caressing your back, it felt so lovely.

“What happened, Y/N?” Noctis inquired, his arm tightly around you.

You gave another sob, you couldn’t face them right, you just couldn’t. All you wanted right now was…

Their warm comforting touch.

“Do you feel better, Darling?” Ignis asked, taking your mug from you, that was once filled with soup.

You gave a weak nod, sharing Gladiolus’s lap, with Prompto who had refused to release you. You didn’t trust your voice, it was still raw from your screaming, and the apparent tantrum within the library. The other voice was also much more silent than before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Prompto asked, a hand stroking your hair.

You shook your head, leaning into the touch.

“Just a bad day?” Gladiolus followed up.

You thought for a moment, before nodding. Your eyes turning to Noctis, as he moved before you, taking your left hand, looking it over. Just an hour ago, it was covered in blood from a large gash, from throwing furniture or the glass, but thanks to a potion it had healed rather nicely.

“Y/N, this is mine.” Noctis stated, those blue eyes turning to meet your gaze. “You are mine, do you understand?”

There was no hesitation, no fight, just a firm,

“Yes, Noctis.”

A blur, you struggled from time to time, but the fight, that fire just seemed to die, you hadn’t even realized it. Was it over time, or was it just removed in one go?

You recalled, standing within the garden with Ignis, every opportunity, you had every chance to go, to run. No one was holding you back, there were no chains, no tethers, nothing to hold you to him, but still you stayed, never too far away from him. At most you made certain to stay within his sight, or so that you could always see him. It made you uncomfortable not to know where he was, or not be within his sight, or any of their sight for that matter.

You recalled smacking a tray of food from Prompto, but the moment your hand came into contact with the tray, you immediately found yourself in his arms, apologizing, checking him over to make sure he wasn’t hurt. He constantly assured you it was an accident and when you thought about it, it really was, there was no ill will, simply a wrong place at the wrong time.

You recalled resting in the large nook window of the apartment, only to suddenly find yourself being lifted. You flailed and shrieked, pulling away only to relax when you heard that deep chuckle from Gladiolus. Your panic immediately became affectionate cuddles.

You recalled running, fast and hard. Your dress picked up, almost as if working on muscle memory, your feet dragged you to an exit, but then you’d turn. Only to gasp as a flash of blue appeared for you, and you were face to face with a soft smile, that you were certain was a reaction to one on your own face.

Noctis had caught you again.

You didn’t fight his victory kiss, no any of the kisses. You craved them, wanting nothing more than to be physically shown their love.

You thought of the freedom you had gotten in the halls of the Citadel, no longer escorted, but still you feet your dragged you somewhere familiar somewhere close to them. Almost as if you were searching for something, trying to find something, only to find that it was taking you to them.

There were a few times when you’d find yourself outside in the middle of the night, suddenly awakened as you fell into the river. There was no one there to take you back, but still you climbed from the river, wet, and you sat and waited.

It never took long, before you were found, wrapped in arms and escorted back.

Back Home.

“Is it really okay?” You asked.

“Yeah.” Noctis chuckled.

You only asked, because you were supposed to be down in the central ballroom, being introduced as the Prince’s betrothal party. Your veil finally to be removed, as you were introduced as the future Princess of the Kingdom. While most of the party was underway, you were assured time and again that it was okay for the five of you to slip away for a breather, as the future Princess was of “Delicate health” and just needed a moment.

What you hadn’t expected was to find yourself in this more office suite apartments. This one was stationed not too far from Ignis’s but sat higher up within the citadel, appearing almost to be a high rise apartment within itself, if not for the hundreds of books behind the large desk, and beautiful dark furniture that littered the room. But the most amazing thing of all was the huge window, one entire wall was just a window. Seeing that it was high enough from the ground floors, the lights from the city and the castle didn’t object to the stars.

“How pretty.” You found yourself cooing, as Noctis moved you over to the window. From up this far, everyone and everything looked so small, like little toys.

“It is a wonderful view.” Ignis stated, having poured a few drinks, handing yourself and Noctis the first two.

“Thank you, Iggy.” You cooed accepting the glass, before he moved over to hand Gladiolus and Prompto theirs.

“Tonight’s been pretty awesome.” Prompto smiled, “How about a toast?”

“A toast?” Gladiolus chuckled.

“Yeah, to an awesome future.” Prompto laughed, his glass high.

“Whelp Iggy, you’re up.” Gladiolus smiled, raising his glass alongside Prompto’s.

Ignis gave a playful sigh as he raised his glass, “I believe that the honor should be Y/Ns.”

“Me?”

“Yeah how about it?” Noctis chuckled his glass raised next to you.

You held the glass in your hand, thinking for a moment before raising it to the sky, “May the worst day of our futures, be the happiest day of our past.”

A round of cheers echoed the room, as everyone's glass moved to their lip

As you sipped your drink, your eyes turned back towards the night sky, only to find them focused back on you, that red had returned, much brighter in your eyes. But not just there, on your chest, there was no mistaking it, the same color red, in the shape of a heart glowing brightly. seeming to be beating along to your own heart. You stepped towards the window, hand raised to touch your reflection.

“What is...?”

“Didn’t think it would take this long.” Noctis replied beside you.

“What would take this long?” You asked, only to turn as you found Ignis behind you, having removed the power dampening necklace from your neck. A surge of trapped magic flooding through you.

“The spell.” Noctis stated, as if that would answer your question.

“The spell, what do you...no.” You gasped in horror, that small flame suddenly began to roar again as the pieces begun to fall. That veil you allowed to control you begun to fall. “You, you did this. What did you do to me?”

“Sorry, Y/N, it was the only way we could protect you.” Prompto offered reaching out, only for you to shove him away. “Don’t be angry.”

You suddenly realized that you were being surrounded, you held tightly to the glass of booze within your hand to ground yourself. “What the hell did you do?”

“Y/N, careful, the dampener was removed…” Gladiolus began as he reached for you, only to have you pull away, releasing another surge of magic.

“Answer me!” You screamed, that fire was raging now, you knew, you knew that there was no way you would have messed up this bad. The fight was coming back, “What the fuck did you do to me!?”

“We’ve removed the dampener, we don’t want it to react to the final steps of the spell.” Ignis stated, always calm and collected, he stayed out of your striking range but close enough that he could get to you.

This only pissed you off more, “You fucked up the spell and you did this to me, this isn’t me.”

“Y/N, I’ve told you time and again,”

You turned toward Noctis before you, all of your anger was boiling over, you almost fell for it. You almost fell for this false love, this false joke of love. You almost let them win!

“...I’m going to protect you.��

You hadn’t realized what you had done until you felt both Gladiolus and Ignis grab a hold of you, the empty glass shattering at your feet. You had tossed your drink directly within Noctis face, “Fuck you! You son of a bitch! I’m not…”

You were quickly hushed as you felt your back slammed against the window, Noctis standing before his hand tight to your chin, keeping you facing him, your gaze unable to go anywhere else but his own. That predatory magic was what was keeping you pressed against the wall, at his mercy.

You tried focusing, a way to escape. You could try the window. There would be no way you could survive the fall from this high, but maybe you could drag this bastard down with you. You tried again and again but the window was too thick.

“Don’t try that, you’ll just wear yourself out.” Ignis stated.

“Noct’s office is the most secure. Sound proof and resistance.” Gladiolus followed up.

You felt your flame flicker as that bright red begun to slowly creep over you vision. As if rose colored glasses were being forced on you.

“This is for your own good, I tried to make you see, we all did. But you go and you take a book to try and leave us. Luckily Specs found it before you could do anything foolish.”

You thought about it, there was no way they didn’t find it, you had fainted and they had changed you out of the dress. “How?”

“A photocopied page, simply switched two spell names.” Ignis replied. “You do recall the, amor aeternus spell.”

Amor Aeternus? The eternal love spell. That’s what they used! A spell that was banned and said to have been destroyed thousands of years ago due to the fact no one could break it. It would start my taking over the mind and then the heart.

“Once it’s completed we won’t have to ever have this conversation again. It’s too late now, Y/N.”

There appeared to be a sad smile on his face. Did he have some guilt behind this? Did he honestly feel sorry? Or was it all part of his act too?!

You let out a sob, you just wanted to know, you deserved to know, “Why, why me?”

“Because there’s no one else.” Noctis removed his hand from you chin, to stroke you cheek. “You are mine, Y/N.”

You followed their gaze to the glowing heart on your chest, noticing now that it was filling up before it disappeared. You turned horrified eyes back to Noctis’s gaze finding his staring directly at you, you felt tears fill your eyes, you had lost.

You had already known the answer but the tears fell as you gave a shuttered, “Why?”

You tried again and again to resist.

Begging yourself to resist.

But found yourself screaming

For more.

For their affection and their love.

The small inferno, gone, not even an ember left into existence. The spell had done its job.

You felt the hand leave your cheek as Noctis stepped away. All of them hovering over you, watching intently.

“Their is only one thing left Noct.” Ignis stated as Noctis nodded.

“Y/n,” Noctis called, the only way he knew you heard him was from your body stiffening at his voice. “ I love you.”

“Y/N, I love you.” Prompto echoed.

“I love you, Y/N.” Gladiolus repeated.

“I love you.” Ignis duplicated.

Without any second thought or hesitation, you lifted your head. The red heart on you chest vanished, as the red within your eyes flashed once before returning to their normal color.

You responded.

“I love you too.”

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wheres-my-pencil · 4 years

Text

what if ranboo headcanon go brr (plus backstory since i got carried away)

- ranboo used to be an enderman forever (endermen are immortal in the timespan sense) - he longed to have friends his whole life when he was full enderman, but could never look at anyone without accidentally hurting them (developed a fear of hurting people), and other endermen didnt seem to talk much, or at all. he never had a friend growing up - he traveled the world looking for a cure from of enderman instincts (forced to kill by eye contact), but mostly he just felt less alone when he was always exploring (eventually discovered that as long as he had a helmet the rain wouldnt hurt him) - BACKSTORY STARTS HERE: ranboo went to a nether ruin once and almost died. he was actually supposed to die but a spirit told him that he would be brought back to life because ranboo was kind and didnt steal anythin from the ruin. ranboo begged to be brought back with the ability to see others without killing them out of his control. the spirit agreed, but under a few conditions. - they said something along the lines of "in this world of nature, the laws of equivalent exchange are everywhere. its the reason everything in nature happens to be balanced. it would be impossible for you to go your whole life without taking another life if you didn't have this power, and unfortunately the opposite of the ability to give mercy is to kill. if i give you this power and you kill no one for the rest of your life, it would set nature out of balance. i will give you a month to kill one creature out of your own will, without the curse of your eyes. after this month you will be granted your wish. if you fail you will not only gain a lifespan, but you will be forced to kill the one closest to you to make up for the future lives that you have the ability to spare." ranboo was nervous, but agreed since he hated the idea of being forced to kill for the rest of his life. - for the first week ranboo kept travelling, trying to build up the will to kill creatures he came across, but couldnt bring himself to do it. he eventually gave up, accepting the fate of being forced to kill. he thought that one more time of killing without free will would make up for the live he would save in the future, and he was used to accidentally taking lives even if it hurt him. - timeskip to a few days passing, he meets a blind fox in a spruce forest. it wasnt just blind though, it was hurt. it's eyes were scratched out and it was bleeding under the shadow of a tree. ranboo carried it to a temorary campsite he made in a small cave and tended to its wounds. the fox still didnt have eyes, but ranboo stopped the bleeding and eventually a scab grew overnight. in hopes that it would hurt less, ranboo ripped a peice of cloth from his leather shirt that a villager traded with him long ago, (warily though, endermen were known to be very hostile,) and wrapped it gently around the fox's head, just so the whiskers were still out but the scab was safe. he was happy he got to help a creature before the inevitability he had to face, so he felt a little better about the future. he packed his few things and set off to keep travelling, but something rubbed at his ankle. the foxes ears perked up at his footsteps and ran towards the sound, nuzzling ranboo's pant leg as if begging to come with him. - "bud, you gotta stay in the forest, its not safe where i'm going," ranboo explained in a pitiful yet sincere voice, trying to say it in a tone that the fox would hopefully understand. the fox persisted, facing the source of ranboo's voice and tilting its head. he had a hard time rejecting the fox, especially since this was the first creature who wasn't immediately scared of him. the first creature who... cared about him. ranboo folded, "alright, but if you're coming along you bet im keeping you safe. ill call you... bandanna! you cool with that?" the fox stood up abruptly wagging his tail after ranboo finished talking in his cheerful tone. - for the next week or so, ranboo and bandanna traveled across mountains and valleys, oceans and plains, pretty much wherever the world led them. from time to time, ranboo made sure to wash the cloth and and wrap it back around bandanna's head to keep him safe. bandanna was stealthy and affectionate, and ranboo was resourceful and curious. as long as they had each other, they were safe. ranboo would always protect bandanna. - in the last week of the month he had before the curse, ranboo realized he was fully content living beside the first creature he could call a friend. they settled down for a while in the desert, with only the occasional rabbit passing by their newly built hut. bandanna often sat on ranboo's lap when he was making maps of their journey routes, and ranboo often watched bandanna chase rabbits for food. (well, almost, ranboo actually couldnt stand the sight, but was still happy he didnt have to kill anything when bandanna did it himself.) it was quiet, but a peaceful one. at this point he didn't care about the future, in fact he had completely forgotten that he was looking for a "cure" in the first place. that was his first mistake. - ranboo had promised to keep bandanna safe, and he always made sure of it. the last day of the month rolled around. ranboo woke up one evening at dawn outside the house, nearby the crops he planted earlier. it was strange, that ranboo could have sworn he washed the beet juice off of his hands, but there it was. - almost stained in the logs surrounding him in the crop area. almost stained. ranboo found this peculiar, as he fell asleep hours ago. one would think if he was working with beet juice, it would have dried by now. he stood up, no longer looking under him, he saw the trail of... beet juice that followed his spot... coming from the hut. the door was open. he never left the door open. - alarmed, he stood up quickly. well, he tried. a massive headache washed over him as he collapsed back to the floor. his left arm, why was it fading to pure white? not only was it his arm, but the color seemed to climb up his shoulder and neck. the realization hit him like a freezing arrow. "the curse," he whispered to himself. his breath grew shaky and cold. "no. no way. no, no, no, NO-" ranboo ran, tripping through the dim desert and back on the damp, crimson trail towards the hut. "it can't be." but it was. the red was much clearer on the hardwood. - he dropped to his knees. the tears mixed with the blood pooling from a battered friend. the blood was almost dry now. ranboo promised. he said he would always keep bandanna safe, yet there he was, life drained into the floors. unable to comprehend what had happened, ranboo cradled bandanna's fragile body in his arms. "...bud? i- i just planted some beets! i think you'd like them. please, stay with me. we havent even seen the rest of the world yet- i... havent finished the maps." bandanna didnt keep him warm. his tail didn't flinch in the slightest. - timeskip to sitting by bandanna's grave. it was raining, but it didnt hurt him. ranboo wished he could take it all back. he didn't even care about the curse anymore. he just wanted to see his friend again. he only ever wanted a friend that he didnt just scare away or hurt. he came to the conclusion that the curse just was him, and that no matter what he did, he ended up hurting everyone around him. - he may have been able to look into others eyes now, but the only thing that mattered about ranboo's eyes were that they got to see bandanna chasing animals, or playing with string. or asking to follow him across the world again. AAAAND RIGHT BACK TO HEADCANON NOTES: - ranboo ended up never killing anyone willingly in his life, but still caused the losses of lives when he was an enderman - introverted, scared of scaring others away, he was impressionable bc he never really got the chance to talk to anyone so he sort of bended to peer pressure and felt he had no choice but to listen to what others told him - rain doesnt actually hurt him anymore, he was just so used to wearing a helmet when it rained that it felt more comfortable to always wear one - also why he stays neutral is bc he doesnt want anyone to scare anyone away, he's kind to everyone because friendship is insanely valuable to him after being alone for so long - irl ranboo quote (along the lines of it at least idk); techno: "whats your favorite word, ranboo" ranboo: "friendship" - he also tries to help others to make up for all he's done, even though he's never willfully hurt anyone

#ik bandanna is a dumb name stfu #also why did i search up the right spelling for bandanna like 3 times-#like docs corrected me when i spelt bandana #but the word bandanna looks uglier #man idk i just wanted to write a headcanon not a fic goodness #ranboo #dsmp ranboo #dsmpblr #textpost #help i have so much homework due and this is the only thing my adhd let me focus on #yes this is my first fanfic B)#no wonder its so messy goodness #anyways hello tag readers :)

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goodluckbabe2024 · 4 years

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my friend i am here with the self insert oc sam parallel episode, i have a history exam tomorrow and i refuse to revise in favor of writing this. let me take you on a journey.

this is very self indulgent and spans kind of the entirety of the series (because im nosy and want to be involved in every cool plot) so im not gonna embarrass myself OR bore you but the general gist of the first episode is this:

i am an 18yr old psychic kid raised by a hunter, meeting the boys in s2 through a “my father was also murdered by a ghost of his past”, except he did not immediately assume i am the antichrist while i was an infant and raised me relatively normal, thus demonstrating that john winchester was a fucked up parent because he allowed himself to be.

i am what sam could’ve been and he is once again reminded that all he ever wanted was to be normal and loved and how that was taken away from him, unfairly. he is angry. he is jealous. he feels bad about being jealous because “her dad’s dead, what the fuck,man”. he wants me to be ok, ultimately, ofc he does, but he doesn’t understand why i got it, why he didn’t, why couldn’t john do it. this serves as more material for soul-searching bc i am a firm believer that understanding the circumstances of abuse and neglect and wrapping ur head around them helps lift the guilt we often burden ourselves with: it’s not that if sam had been a better son john would have loved him more, it’s that john refused to look at sam for what sam really was: a child wracked by generational trauma and unprocessed grief, whose autonomy was violated before he could say his first word, in need of love, and chose to instead look at sam through his own grief muddied goggles and link him to mary’s death. insane how this is turning into sam analysis isn’t it.

i am also angry because im still sort of a child but not really, not anymore, im on the cusp of adulthood and going into it knowing that the world is unfair and hateful, grief is written all over me and sam thinks oh nono, because hope’s kind of the whole point isn’t it, and i had it and now it has been taken from me along with my parent and sam feels so alone and furious with everything, he’s plagued by skull cracking demonic visions, and he doesn’t want this idealized version of himself to ultimately end up like the version of himself that he is now, the one he doesn’t understand, the one he’s afraid of. he’s looking in a weird funhouse mirror, sees a kid who was different like he was but was cherished, and sees her end up in the same position he is now: fatherless, on a quest for revenge. he thinks that if we get the monster of the week, ill be better and he’ll find his hope in that. all roads lead to rome but he wont allow this one to reach the colosseum (defying destiny theme, hello).

the monster of the week hunt begins thusly, with sam generally uncomfortable. i confide in him about my psychic abilities and i explain to the brothers that i can help. both are opposed, but i am a chaotic little bitch and get involved anyway. throughout my involvement, sam learns more about the world of psychic mediums and thinks aha! hope! maybe if i dig deep enough (whore for lore amirite babes) ill find someone who’s lived an experience similar to mine! miss oc what are ur book recs for “i think i am psychic and terrified of it” and i say “fear not nerd have a very small cup of coffee and let me tell you about this great college course on divination”. this is relevant because i wanted to see more of sam desperately trying to fit into some sort of community, even a community of supernatural folk john and dean might’ve disapproved of, and finding that, at this point in time, he does not. he’s an outsider to normal people, he’s an outsider to those in contact with the paranormal. really hammer in that freak (affectionate) tagline. (he WILL build a safe haven in the men of letters bunker for all misfits in his adulthood, party city wig sam i do NOT perceive you)

the hunt culminates in an impressive showdown that includes the following: pyrotechnics, a cool spell, seeing things that aren’t really there, the power of friendship and a butter knife thrown like a frisbee. at the end we all look like final girls because im gay so blood is sexy. sam, who has come to regard me like a younger sibling/some sort of manifestation of his inner child, learns what it’s like to be deeply concerned with a youth’s safety and has a heart to heart with dean about how yeah, handling a teenager with incredible amounts of simmering rage and unprocessed grief while being barely equipped for any guardian-like role IS hard, man, is this what it felt like every time i busted out a batshit plan last minute and barely executed it in time to survive??? “yeah. bitch” “jerk.”

the epilogue is as follows: we see sam feeling many complicated things, but he is satisfied for the moment. we have a little heart to heart while laying flowers on my father’s grave. we both look a little worse for wear, but hopeful. “what’re you gonna do now?” “im not sure. college, maybe?” we keep in touch. i go on to art school and make homoerotic art pieces, as is my right. i make guest appearances whenever they need a deus ex machina bs spell to get out of trouble.

maybe in later seasons i go a little ape shit and commit some magical atrocities in the name of the greater good. maybe i get a little antagonized and he gets to offer me the understanding he couldn’t get when he needed it. i see you, sam, treating all misfits in later seasons with kindness, and i offer you a claire-like parallel to be there for through the tough times, thus healing some of your own wounds. everyone deserves an angsty wlw teenager to bond with . (i am only on season 9 of my rewatch and i have not seen seasons 12-15 in their entirety, if he does get one im not disrespecting that character and i love them probably)

the boys hit the road. vienna by billy joel plays, because it makes me feel things.

Slow down you're doing fine

You can't be everything you want to be before your time

Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad, but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong

You know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion, you got your pride

But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?

Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

end scene.

this is poetry. i will cherish this forever thank you for sharing with me and good luck on your exam

#all roads lead to rome but he won’t let this once reach the colosseum....#clown posting #asks #sammy #i guess lol #sammy tag is needed for the sam analysis

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fogsrollingin · 4 years

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SPN reclist: They Get Pets! Oh boy whenever Sam n Dean get pets it’s just the best, y’all. This reclist includes both regular animals and pet hellhounds. ✧ My entire catalogue of fic recs on tumblr here ✧ This post was last updated 1/21/2022 ✧ For epubs of rec’d fanfic from LJ or DW, click to this post.

Category: Gen Hope by nblaque-impala. Rated PG, Gen, 4k words. Summary: After Sam gets out of hell, Sam finds hope in a little shelter puppy. nblaque-impala.livejournal.com/4230.html my thoughts: I’ve been really enjoying nblaque-impala’s fics. The author’s also on AO3 as NixBlaque but the awesome fics I rec below haven’t been posted there. For this fic in particular Sam gets a dog after cage trauma and it's so insanely SWEET omg y’all

Gifts by Muffy Morrigan (FF.net). Rated PG, Gen, 90k. Summary: Dean discovers sometimes the greatest sacrifices aren't that big after all, and the smallest gifts can make all the difference. Hurt!Sick Sam fanfiction.net/s/4591526 my thoughts: This fic is included in my top all time favorite fics. If you were looking for some of the most wholesome hurt Sam/comforting Dean, you've come to the right place. This story is charmingly detailed about nearly every element of caring for a loved one with an illness/disability. And it has a happy ending to boot (none of my recs have unhappy endings though to be fair, haha). Also they get a kitten as a little companion animal while he’s rehabbing and it’s adorable

The Space Around Him by Rainylemons. Rated R, Gen, 29k. Summary: Written for the spn_gen_bigbang. Two years ago Sam Winchester went blind after an opportunistic infection ruined his optic nerve. He and Dean have since settled down, but Sam's still struggling to learn the difference between adapting and coping. Fortunately, he has an awesome brother, a therapist, a few exotic dancers, and a canary named Phil to help him out. ao3.org/works/489026 my thoughts: for some reason whenever I think of pet fics, I think of “that awesome one where they have a bird” haha. It’s just such a unique pet compared to the plethora of pet cat and dog fics that it stands out. It also stands out because this is an awesome fic with sweet+desperate comfort from Dean at the end. Fantastic curtain fic.

Wyoming series by aceofhearts61 (AO3). Rated PG-13, queerplatonic Sam+Dean, 78k. Summary: Sam, Dean, and Castiel have retired from hunting and live together in Wyoming. They're happy. ao3.org/series/27777 my thoughts: This fic is in my all time favorite spn fics reclist. It is like the curtain fic to end all curtain fics for me... and I've read and loved a ton of curtain fics. I genuinely want to get married or have a home in Wyoming now because of this damn series, lol. Traumatized!Sam is harrowing. He gets a service dog tho! This fic was listed in my love letter to location fic recs post.

Fusion 'verse (series) by ratherastory. Rated PG-13, Gen, 112k. Summary: Part of the Fusion 'verse. Sam walks out of hell and finds his way home. From a prompt at the First Time comment-fic meme by the lovely and talented de_nugis: The first time Sam gets that Dean does unreservedly trust him again, coupled with the first time Dean gets that Sam really does want nothing more than he wants to be with Dean. ao3.org/series/8645 my thoughts: this curtain fic series is just like one of the most precious depictions of Sam & Dean dealing & healing from, like, everything with each other, their brotherly love finally given the space to knit their wounds. Features permanent disability - Dean’s knee is fused (and gets a service dog!). Also features a traumatized-from-hell Sammy. And they’re both aging into a softer existence, living easier, dropping any self-consciousness to be more affectionate, accepting themselves and each other better. AHHH this fic. I should go reread this fic now...

My Hellhound by CeCe Away (FF.net). Rated PG, Gen, 18k. Summary: Hot breath blew the hair up off his neck. Hellhound. Out of everything in the pit, he hated them the most. Hurt!Sam Heroic!Protective!Dean to the Rescue. fanfiction.net/s/6210218 This fic is one of my top favorite spn fics of all time and included in my exploring hell reclist too. One of the most inventive and entertaining depictions of hell I’ve read and Sam adopts a pet hellhound. Add a great plot and brotherly love and you’ve got a winner in my books.

Terms and Conditions by UnabashedBird. Rated PG-13, Gen, 3.5k. Summary: Sam embraces his powers, but the way he uses them isn’t exactly what the demons had in mind. ao3.org/works/2842439 This story is in my favorite fics list. It’s the most cathartic fix-it fic ever for Sam fangirls. If you had Sam’s back during seasons 3 & 4 re: getting powers & drinking demon blood like me (as in, I thought it was the right call at the time up until the very end), then you’re going to love this fic. It reverses the “Sam’s-always-wrong” narrative of canon & flips the table, making it clear that if Sam had been more confident in himself & if he’d never had Dean dragging him down delaying him in taking advantage of his powers (Demon-ish Sam everybody!), everything would’ve turned out better than it ever did in canon. Bonus points that Sam gets lots of puppers (pet hellhounds) to love (and who love him back)… and the brothers’ relationship ends on a good note (so smiles all around). For more stories along these lines, check out my demon!dean and demon!sam reclist :)

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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years

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Guardian: Hand-Picked (collab)

Summary: You had lived for years with just you and your guardian angel, Changkyun. But when Kihyun enters your world, things change – for the better.

Pairing: Im Changkyun x Yoo Kihyun x reader (not in a love triangle way)

Genre: guardian angel au / humour / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: This is part of the Guardian collab with @this-song-thats-only-for-you and @goodnightkisseu. It was an impromptu idea from one of those MX games by your zodiac sign, so we went with who we got and created a story from it!

Word count: 2651

Other stories in this collab: By My Side | Hidden Glances

Your life had been pleasant for the most part. You had grown up well enough, leaving your awkward teenage years behind you and blossoming into an adult. Sure, you sometimes missed the simplicity of being a child without adult pressures, but you were naturally responsible and thrived with a lot of the new chances you had as grown-up making your mark in the world.

You would go to work, enjoy hanging out with friends and exploring new places when you had the chance to. And when the day was over, you would return to your apartment, cook dinner and then snuggle up with a good movie or book before going to bed and starting it all over the next day. It hadn’t felt like you needed any change to this daily in and out lifestyle you lived. You were content with what you already had.

Meeting Yoo Kihyun, however, changed all of that. Having a boyfriend was a new experience. Going out was now with someone who would hold your hand and smile endlessly at you. He would feed you the most delicious meals and whisper the sweetest compliments. If you had ever dreamed of having someone in your life, you were sure you had wished for Kihyun. He was exactly who you could ever want in a partner.

And you had your guardian angel to thank for that.

“Don’t go out today,” Changkyun warned you explicitly as you walked back and forth from your small bathroom to your not much bigger bedroom preparing for the day ahead. He followed right behind you, tapping you on your shoulder and letting out whines, the next more outlandish than the last. “Y/N, don’t! It’s going to end badly.”

“What is? I’m perfectly fine now, am I not?”

He rolled his eyes. “Because you’re home with me.”

“I can’t imagine anything changing for the worse, Kyun. I’m just going to work like I usually do.”

“And I’m just telling you what I feel in my stomach. It’s my job to pre-warn you of ill-fated events, Y/N.”

You shot Changkyun a hard look. “Last month you told me the same. I stayed home and you realised halfway through the day it was just indigestion. Which, I cannot believe an angel can suffer from!”

“Okay, so I made one mistake--”

“And two months ago you told me I would be in trouble so I again stayed home and then realised it was because you were cold and wanted to snuggle up all day long!”

Sitting down on the edge of your bed so you could put on your socks, Changkyun knelt before you, placing his hands on both of your knees.

“--a lot of mistakes, then. This time, Y/N, I’m not using my abilities to benefit me. Stay home, please. I don’t feel good about this.”

Letting out a sigh, you patted one of his shoulders affectionately. “I’ll be fine. And I promise if I feel odd at any point, I’ll just turn around and come back home.”

“It doesn’t work that way, Y/N!” he exclaimed as you got up and brushed passed him, shrugging on your coat and stepping into your boots. Changkyun swiftly took place in front of the door shaking his head. “I’m being serious. Don’t go.”

“I didn’t work for an entire month on this presentation to miss it, Kyun. I’ll be home later.”

Stepping under his arm, you opened the door and started your trek through the rain to the subway.

From here, you knew fewer details. Changkyun had informed you that you had ended up walking across a road that a car had suddenly lost control on and careened around, hitting you right as a man pulled you to safety.

And that was how you had met Kihyun in the first place.

When you woke in the hospital, he had been at your side, immediately relieved to see you alert again. And all you had noticed was the gash on his cheek and a forlorn-looking Changkyun behind him.

He had sent Kihyun forward to save you at the last minute.

What Changkyun – or even you, admittedly – hadn’t been prepared for was how much of an impact Kihyun’s arrival in your life would make.

And now, you were packing up the last of your things and moving in with your boyfriend of a year.

Much to Changkyun’s disdain.

“How are we meant to still live together?” Changkyun wondered as you zipped your luggage bag full of your necessities shut. He shifted back and forth across the tiny space of your bedroom and threw his hands in the air. “This is not what we should be doing, Y/N.”

“You’ve seen Kihyun’s apartment, it’s double the size of this place. There will be plenty of room for us to still live together.”

“I’d rather live in this shoebox for the rest of your life. Or move somewhere bigger. Just the two of us.”

“On my salary?” you mentioned, raising an incredulous eyebrow at the angel. “Seriously?”

“So let’s just stay here. We’re cosy here.”

“I can’t expect Kihyun to move in here!” you replied with a giggle, lifting your luggage off the bed. “This place barely fits us!”

“Let’s not move in with him at all.”

“You sound like a petulant child, Changkyun,” you warned and he rolled his eyes dramatically.

“I don’t care. I like it being just you and me.”

“And I like Kihyun, a lot. So can’t you be a little accommodating with this change?”

His immature grunt ended the argument but the stormy mood followed you all the way over to your new home, a scoff leaving him when you stretched up to kiss Kihyun in greeting.

“Is this really happening?” your boyfriend breathed as he held you tightly. “I don’t have to wake up tomorrow and send you back home?”

“I wish you would,” the angel muttered, unbeknownst to Kihyun.

“Instead we get to wake up in each other’s arms every day,” you offered and Kihyun grinned, kissing you briefly before blinking really fast. You frowned. “What is it?”

“I turned up the thermostat earlier but it’s suddenly so cold in here! You’re not freezing, are you?”

Sending a glare to the angel now playing with the heating system, you then tried to smile at Kihyun. “It’s going to be fine together; I’m sure whatever it is will settle down soon.”

Except, Changkyun didn’t settle any.

It was obvious that he was bitter and targeted Kihyun immaturely. And whenever your boyfriend wasn’t around, you were endlessly scolding him for his antics, telling him to stop being so rude to someone you cared about. You didn’t think you were being unreasonable, and considering Changkyun had sent Kihyun to your side, you had expected him to be relieved that you had someone he had handpicked.

Still, Kihyun was uncomfortable most days. “I had the worst sleep last night.”

“Did you? I slept so well,” you murmured, coming over to rub your partner’s shoulders gently. “Any reason why?”

“Something kept tickling my nose but every time I looked, there was nothing there!”

You narrowed your gaze on the angel eating toast across the room.

And when Kihyun went to take his shower, you rushed over and slapped the back of his head. “I swear to god, you are being so immature, Changkyun! Stop annoying Kihyun.”

“Maybe he’d have a better night’s rest sleeping in the guest room.”

“And why would he want to sleep there? Where would you then sleep?!”

“With you, like I used to.”

“Don’t be so ridic-”

“Y/N?” Kihyun called weakly, standing in the threshold and watching you in confusion. “What, or who are you talking to?”

“Uhhhhh.”

“Maybe I should show myself to your lover. You look insane right now,” Changkyun mused and you let out a small shriek before stomping off to the bedroom and slamming the door shut.

Even if a locked door could keep Kihyun out, it would be no match for an angel. However, you had become incredibly skilled in ignoring Changkyun when he annoyed you too much. And since he hated when you ignored him, it was as effective as a locked door was.

“Y/N, stop, come on! It’s me, Kyun! Don’t be so petty!”

You remained focused on the wall ahead of you.

“Fine, I’ll stop being so mean to him. I just don’t like Kihyun!”

“Why?” you asked and he breathed out in relief at finally garnering your attention.

“Because he’s, well he’s-”

“Because you think I pay him more attention than you, isn’t that right? You’re not used to sharing.”

The angel shrunk back, muttering under his breath and then nodded once.

“Kihyun thinks I’m absolutely insane now. You better help me fix this.”

“You have a what?” your boyfriend breathed once you had explained everything to him, staring at you with round eyes.

“Everyone has one,” you told him calmly. “Just some people aren’t aware of who they are. I had an incident when I was a kid where I fell out of a tree and Changkyun – my angel – was there when I woke up. Since then, he’s been with me every day.”

“Even when we’ve been dating?”

You nodded.

“And in the bedroom when we’re…?”

“Good god, I would never want to see that,” Changkyun retorted with a generous shudder as you shook your head repeatedly.

“No, but I lived with him before I met you and-”

“You lived with him?”

“As friends,” you reiterated and Changkyun nodded firmly. “Well, more like family. He’s a brother to me.”

“And he’s the reason we met that day?” You nodded to answer Kihyun’s question. “I always think about why I boldly stepped out that day as if I knew I had to. I didn’t even know what I was doing until it happened. And you’re saying some angel of yours made me?”

“Changkyun, show yourself, please,” you asked and with a sigh, Changkyun did whatever he had to make himself known to Kihyun.

And when he caught sight of him, Kihyun gasped noisily. “I know him!”

“You do?”

“I saw him right when I saved you.”

“Well, now he’s a believer,” Changkyun surmised disinterestedly, pointing to the kitchen. “Can dinner be started soon? I’m hungry.”

You took a deep breath, hoping that this was the right step forward to make both the most important men in your life live together with more ease.

It wasn’t just Changkyun now. You stared back at Kihyun, trying to fathom what he had just said. Your boyfriend pointed harshly to the angel now taking refuge behind you. “Again?!”

“You forgot to set me a place at the table!”

“You do know how sensitive Changkyun is about food,” you agreed weakly and Kihyun scoffed.

“Still, he made the water run cold on me right as I got the shampoo in my hair! What are you? Four years old?”

“Try adding on centuries to that!”

“My head hurts,” you proclaimed, moving over to the couch before glaring at both men who followed. “Can’t you both just get along for one day?!”

“He started this!”

“And so that gives you enough reason to take it out on me like a baby?!”

“You’re both acting like children,” you told them and folded your arms across your chest. “This is exhausting.”

“He’s got to go, Y/N!”

“Me?!” Changkyun echoed and laughed bitterly. “I was here first, if anyone has to go, it’s you, lover boy!”

“Anyone would think you have a crush on my girlfriend! In case you’ve forgotten, Y/N sees you as a brother. And I’m not going anywhere!”

“You know what?” you offered, standing back up as both men reached for one another. “I’ll go!”

“What?”

“Where would you go?” Kihyun added as you stalked over to the front door, collecting your bag from the entryway shelf. “It’s cold out today.”

“I don’t think it’s wise to leave, Y/N.”

“Well, I don’t care what’s wise or cold. Right now, I want to escape the both of you! This is getting ridiculous and I want to get out of here before I snap! Do not follow me in any way or I’ll never come back!”

And then you slammed the door behind you and stormed out into the street.

For an hour or two, you simply wandered, allowing your sour mood to dissipate whilst you walked wherever your feet would take you. After three hours, you took refuge in a coffee shop, thanking the clerk for bringing you a warm beverage that melted away any remaining chill within you as you sipped at it. For another hour, you watched the people go by and after six hours away from home, you decided to have a meal before heading home. It was really late now, and for once, you felt a little out of your comfort zone. You were never out this late alone and it made your footsteps hurried until you saw the apartment building.

There, you slowed right down to a snail’s pace; concerning yourself with the possible scenarios you would find when you opened the front door. You knew Changkyun couldn’t be badly harmed, and angels were sworn not to physically harm another. Still, you worried they were still fighting away with each other, and you really didn’t have the energy to face that.

You prepared yourself to simply enter the house and sleep in the guest room alone tonight. Instead, when you walked through the door, you heard a loud gasp and combined movement towards you.

“Thank god, you’re safe.”

“Don’t ever leave us like that again, Y/N.”

“Don’t you know how worried we were?”

“We?” you repeated as both men smothered you in their arms, neither fighting for more of you than the other. “Who’s we?”

Kihyun pulled away and Changkyun stepped to his side. “We’ve called a truce.”

“We decided we had something in common.”

“You do?” you asked and both men nodded happily.

Changkyun smiled. “We both love you a lot. Of course, in our own ways.”

“And not having you in our lives – existences – is unbearable.”

“So don’t leave us ever again, okay?”

You tried to not smile too widely. “You mean it?”

“Plus, I like this house, and Kihyun’s food.”

“Changkyun’s like the little brother I never had,” Kihyun quipped.

“Well, does this mean I won’t hear fighting anymore?”

“Of course!”

“We’ll be on our best behaviour!”

“Good, because I can’t handle the best people in my life at odds with each other,” you concluded, hugging them both individually.

“You ate without us?” Changkyun suddenly accused after inhaling into the hug and Kihyun gaped at you.

“We were sick with worry and you ate?”

“Well, I got hungry and-”

“Don’t worry, Kyun, I’ll make us something delicious.”

“Good, and Y/N isn’t allowed any.”

“Of course not!”

You laughed and shook your head; at least they were getting along, which was what you had hoped for so long now.

Life wasn’t as quiet as it once was. You’d still come out to find both of them bickering over something, but you just learned that it was how they were. Equally, they were the type to hold onto one another watching sad movies instead of you and even you had jealous moments when it came to their bromance.

But you were thankful. Not only had Kihyun saved you, but he had saved Changkyun too. You had lived far too long stuck in the same routine in the same small space that you hadn’t hoped for anything more than that.

Having chaos in your world meant you were always waiting to see what would happen next. And you realised that this suited you far better. You got to spend your days with your best friend and the love of your life. Sometimes that would be a blessing or a curse, but you knew you wouldn’t have it any other way.

_________________

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millennialzadr · 5 years

Text

WHY I LOVE ZADR!!!

HEY GUYS WHASSUP? LMAO

So this is a whole ass giant long post of me absolutely spewing my feelings of love for ZADR, it was the very first thing I wrote when I made this blog and I think it’s a nice, positive thing for my fellow shippers to inhale and enjoy 👌👌

it was originally a reply to mitarashiart’s post about why HE loves ZADR (link in replies) but I decided to delete that and make my own post since MY WHOLE ENTIRE TEXT WALL WAS SHOWN IN THE REPLIES and drowned out anyone else who was trying to talk (thanks tumblr mobile u fuckin idiot)

I had also posted a summary of an AU that I’m working on in the original post, but decided to remove it since it just about doubled the length (I’m thinking about posting it separately along with the wips I’ve been putting together, we’ll see 👀)

But ANYWAY, here is about a million reasons why I think ZADR is the fucking best, so if you like reading gushy gay ship feelings, please enjoy ❤️❤️❤️

[Posted June 2019][WARNING, LONG ASS THOUGHT BARF]

SOOO, holy hell y’all my journey back into this fandom has been a wild and unique experience for me, i went from adding invader zim to my bookmarks on kisscartoon, rewatching the series, finding out theres a movie coming out, finding out there was a shitload of content i’d never seen before (commentaries, lost episode scripts and audios, panels, the COMIC, episodes i’d never seen because the dvd i used to watch was scratched!! and a FUCKLOAD of quality modern fan art like oh my GOD) and finally curiously googling ‘zadr’ (which i was way into when i was maybeee 13/14) to see if there was any interesting new art, and holy hell, mita (the artist above) singlehandedly THREW me down the hole into modern zadr hell, first with his absolutely stunning IZ art (all his art is dope tho check him out yo), then reading the above explanation put the final nail in the coffin like, 100%

so i wanted to add onto his post here on why this ship got me so fucked up, both for anyone who might be wondering why on earth i’m shipping two characters from a kid’s show (i’m very aware how weird that is at first glance trust me) and also so i can get some ideas down for possible future reference (will i ever draw them? maybe)

(first of all, a disclaimer, and this is not pleasant to write but it’s important to address for clarity’s sake: I have no interest in romantic or sexual relationships between minors, and do not ship zim and dib as they are presented canonically in the show (as children). what i’m interested in is the conceptualized relationship they may have as modern adults, and i view zadr more as taking the concepts of existing characters and experimenting with them with different interpretations, which i personally think is a constructive and fun creative outlet, especially if these characters hold personal significance for you (childhood faves of course). growing up together is an important facet of their relationship, and certainly they were important to each other even as children (see: mopiness of doom) but as an adult i’m personally curious about what kind of adults they might’ve become, and that’s the focus of my interest. i’ll still be reblogging regular IZ art because it’s dope but if you see shippy looking art of them as tiny lil beans its either friendship or chibis (and i personally headcanon zim as getting taller with dib but some people stick with his canonical height when drawing them as adults, which is super short. it still doesn’t mean he’s a kid). aaand i wish i didnt have to write this and it would just be obvious but we live in a sick sad world and it is sourced from a children’s cartoon so i feel its necessary. end of disclaimer)

NOW THAT THAT’S OUT OF THE WAY

- ok, first reason’s a bit obvious - the nostalgia. holy hell, the feeling of rediscovering a ship that was popular when i was a preteen during the mid 2000s and discovering a totally new perspective on it as an adult comes with an almost totally overwhelming sense of nostalgia and comfort, as well as inspiration!! the kind of art that seems so common for zadr, these sketch pages of scenes and expressions and visual gags where artists would just scribble every idea they had and LOVE doing it, this was exactly the kind of art that made me so passionate about drawing as a kid, and it still sparks such a powerful feeling of love and admiration for me to this day. fan content of iz and zadr is simultaneously achingly familiar and totally new and fascinating, and it just makes me SO damn happy to consume, it is most definitely my new comfort content. and just, GOD. THE ART!! SO GOOD. FUCK

- now for the characters themselves: for some reason i just really love the thought of a mid twenties, modern Dib?? lanky goth dork, disaster bi, depressed as shit, uses bad sweaters and memes to cope?? when i was a kid i didn’t even LIKE Dib, but now i totally sympathize with him! he’s just a hyper obsessive nerd wishing there was more to life than the situation he got stuck with, how wildly relatable. he was a pretty big asshole as a kid (even to people besides zim) but he was also totally isolated and constantly bullied, so there’s a lot of room for growth. i feel there’s a lot of juicy character development potential for that boy, and there’s always been a special place in my heart for characters who are totally sad and screwed and hopeless, but there’s one thing, or person, that means the world to them and could possibly save them…

- aliens. Zim. i love nonhuman characters, i love monsters, i love aliens, i love characters that don’t understand human shit (and thus have much less room for shame or fear bc theyre just totally oblivious the negatives of modern society) and need guidance (bonding!!) from their human. i also love morally grey characters and characters with skewed logic, they’re always really interesting, and Zim himself just has such a unique personality and set of mannerisms, he contradicts himself a lot and you can never quite expect how he’ll behave, and i love that in a character, it makes them super versatile and fun, especially since there’s so many different possibilities for their development. Also, Zim is a gremlin, a little shit, and a disaster. I also love those traits in a character. And don’t even get me started on his character design?? big sparkly eyes? expressive antennae? monster teeth? complimenting colors? he’s adorable.

- mutual obsession. for someone like Dib, who seems almost repulsed by how boring and slow the people around him are, Zim quite literally personifies Dib’s escapist fantasies, both as an inhuman entity from beyond the stars, and as a person who’s knowledge, charisma and mystery far exceeds that of anyone Dib has met in his entire life. (so basically what i’m saying is that for a shunned, jaded misanthropist, an actual alien is terribly alluring, even if said alien is dangerous, stupid, and possibly insane). not to mention Zim vindicates Dib’s entire life passion, the supernatural! Even when their relationship is totally negative, there is not a single inch of room for Dib to get tired of Zim. as mita explained, they validate each other. for Zim, WHO AGAIN, IS TOTALLY SHUNNED, ISOLATED, AND HATED BY EVERYONE HE KNOWS, Dib is the only person in the universe who gives a single shit about him!! he gives Zim credit as a threat, a capable invader, which if you ask me is the sole thing Zim is after (he’s hellbent on his mission because it would win him the approval of the tallest, all he’s ever wanted is recognition from the people he thinks so highly of). He literally gets depressed when Dib isn’t around to pay attention to him, not even the tallest were enough to motivate him before Dib came back. these two have no one and nothing without each other, and while lifelong nemeses is fine and dandy, i personally prefer friendship, affection and love, cause i’m a softie like that. how could they possibly get there after years of actively trying to kill each other?? well, i think under just the right circumstances it could become a possibility after a long, long time.

- growth. i. love. me. some. good. character growth. especially for characters with trauma/mental illness, bc again, relatable. these boys have issues, and as mita mentioned, their canon stories are actually INCREDIBLY sad! but the happy thought is, they could recover! they could help each other recover, for little reason other than the two are the only source of happiness for each other. now of course this also opens the gate for angst lovers, but at the same time offers potential for comforting, uplifting content of the boys supporting and inspiring each other, maybe even to the point of becoming happy and healthy enough to create the lives they want for themselves (as in appreciating life and doing things that make them actually happy instead of the delusions of grandeur they both sought when they were younger). gimme that positive shit and let the poor beans be happy щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

- LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE THINGS THAT ONLY COME WITH CHILDHOOD FRIENDS. WITH HUMAN/NONHUMAN. WITH THE SHOW’S WEIRD LOGIC. Zim being the person Dib knows best and vice versa. Zim having an involuntary respect/admiration for Dib because he’s tall. Learning each other’s needs, limits, and communication methods, both emotionally and biologically. Sensitive antennae. Affectionate bickering. Being less insecure bc your partner literally has no idea why you see your flaws as flaws. Laughing at the flaws they do notice because they make no sense. Zim only wanting to eat waffles and chow mein. Dib being forced to overcome his depression lethargy and stay hygienic/keep the apartment clean because Zim has a sharper sense of smell and is afraid of germs. Endless conversation about anything and everything because they’re from literally different worlds, and endless intrigue. TOUCHING. TALKING. DOING EVERYTHING LIKE ITS THE VERY FIRST TIME AND ALWAYS NEEDING THE OTHER TO GUIDE THEM. HOLY HELL THERE IS SO MUCH POSSIBILITY FOR TINY LITTLE MOMENTS THAT MEAN THE WORLD. FUCK. GOT ME FUCKED UP.

so that wraps up the why. fuck man. its just such a good ship. if you read this big ass text post, thank you for indulging me, i hope you enjoyed it! because i enjoy it very much 👀 so stick around if you’d like to for a shit load of IZ and zadr content on this blog, possibly (MAYBE) even from me!! come roll around in alien hell with me why dontcha ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ its a fun time! thanks for reading!!!

SO THAT’S MY MANIFESTO Y’ALL, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH YOUR OWN REASONS!! I WOULD LOVE FOR THIS POST TO JUST BECOME A BIG GIANT PILE OF LOVE AND YELLING!! GO NUTS! SCREAM ABOUT IT! INFODUMP! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! I’LL READ EVERY LAST REPLY! Y’ALL DESERVE TO ENJOY YOUR SHIP BC IT’S LITERALLY THE FUCKING BEST!!! LOVE Y’ALL!!!!!!

#in this trying time of shippers being stressed over discourse #i offer a gift<3 because i love you guys #and we should spread the love #i want yall to go OFF #tell me every little fuckin thing about zadr that makes ur heart doki OK #LETS GO 👏👏👏#invader zim #zadr #text post #my post #long post

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horansqueen · 5 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 29

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -5.3k. (yep longer chapter but it was needed) -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

- note for this chapter: remember the first part is exactly like the last chapter but from HER pov. longer chapter. yes i used that song, sue me. was it too quick? not emotional enough? too meh? next chapter will be from his pov and ill try to write the process and what happened in his head to get this conclusion. that way you can understand him and where his decision comes from. shit i really hope this reached expectations, damn.

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 29 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I hadn't seen Niall in over two days and it was saddening me. I missed him more than I wanted to admit, even to myself, but at the same time, I knew he was spending most of his time with his girlfriend and I didn't want to bother their alone time. Plus, I didn't want to witness anything anymore. That time spent in Niall's living room watching them cuddle and kiss was haunting me. Yes, I was jealous, because Maya really had everything I ever wanted, including Niall, and it was hurting me more than I could ever admit.

Harry had texted me a few times and we had a few intense discussions about our relationship but also about the friendship we could have. I couldn't lie and pretend the feelings I had for him when we dated had disappeared or that I was completely healed but I was ready to try and that was all it took for us to schedule a movie night.

When I opened the door, I looked up in his eyes as my heart twisted in my chest. I had seen him not that long ago, it had only been a few weeks... was he always that tall? His lips had curled into a fond but amused smile and mine sort of did the same. Harry was the same man i knew, the same man I dated, and I was not sure I could only be his friend but it was worth a try.

I felt bad but I didn't know what else to do so I ended up bringing a blanket on the couch and sat close to him as we watched a movie and ate popcorn and candies. We always did that when we were together and it should feel awkward to do it now that we were over but I liked it. I missed affection and an other human's touch and Harry was a soft and affectionate person. I loved it.

"So, how are things between you and Niall?" he wondered, still staring at the screen as a romantic scene started.

I glanced at him and shrugged, leaning against the back of the couch and bringing my legs up.

"Okay, I guess." I replied before putting a few candies in my mouth. "He's splitting his time between Maya and I and I miss him but I guess there's not much I can do about it."

Harry quickly grabbed the remote and turned the volume down before turning his body my way, facing me. I frowned, giving him my full attention, and for some reason I knew he was going to give me a speech I had heard before.

"It's time, don't you think?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and bringing his hand to my knee. "It's been so long, Liv. You can't hide your feelings forever."

I felt myself get sad suddenly and although I was tired to hear people tell me I had to tell Niall how I felt, I knew they were right and that i had waited way too long. I looked down at his hand on my knee, trying to avoid his eyes. I focused on the way his thumb rubbed gently against the fabric of my pants and raised one shoulder up.

"I don't want to lose him." I admitted in a low tone. "If he finds out he's gonna leave."

I felt Harry's finger under my chin and he moved my face up. We stared at each other for a while and I could feel tears coming to my eyes. I knew I was way too emotional but I couldn't help it. I was scared. Scared like I had never been before, and the thought of losing my best friend again was driving me insane, especially if it was my fault. It also felt like it would hurt even more if he left because of my feelings for him.

"I know Liv, I know you're scared."

I swallowed hard, a bit surprised that he had noticed and feeling like he actually read my mind. The tone of his voice was soft and knowing that Harry cared about me even after what had happened between us made my heart twist.

"But if you-"

The bell rang and I jumped slightly before closing my eyes. I didn't want to answer. I had the annoying feeling it was Niall and I was not ready, especially not after that short discussion with Harry. I was not ready to hear him mention Maya, even if he barely ever did. I was not ready to face him and feel all those feelings I have for him flood my whole body and mind the way it always did recently, whenever he was around.

I felt Harry's hand squeeze my knee and opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. With a fond smile, he made a quick head movement in the door's direction and I sighed, pushing the blanket away and getting up to press the button that unlocks the front door. As I waited in front of my door, I felt my heart jump at the thought of Niall and Harry interacting again. I hadn't mentioned anything to Niall yet, but it was not like something was happening between Harry and I.

The knock at the door made my heart jump again but this time, I had to swallow it. I opened the door slightly, meeting Niall's smiling face, and I could swear my whole body relaxed suddenly. No one else had that effect on me.

“Hey, sorry I didn’t call.” he apologized, licking his lips and making my eyes drop to them. “Can I come in?”

“Uhm, yea, of course.”

Now that he was there, I didn't want him to leave, but I could feel my whole body shaking for a reason I ignored. He looked happy, excited even, and I always found it endearing to see him that way. This time, though, it felt weird and I didn't know why. It felt like something was going to happen and sensing it made everything almost intolerable. He started saying something but stopped right in the middle of his sentence. I was a bit lost in my thoughts but when he mentioned Harry's name, I remembered I was not alone. I was not sure it was a good thing but when Niall was there, It always felt like there was only the two of us.

When my best friend turned to me, I saw a bunch of emotions surge on his face and they passed so quick I couldn't remember or decipher all of them. I thought I saw surprise? Sadness? Anger?

"Wow, really?" he asked rudely, even though I knew it was rhetorical. "Him? Here?"

I frowned, shrugged and looked away before looking back in his eyes. I was lost, sad, and not really sure what exactly was wrong with the fact that Harry and I were friends, except that I knew Niall and him were not on best terms because of me.

“You didn’t even think to tell me that you two were spending time together?” he continued in an angry way. “You didn’t think to mention that you wanted to try again with him or that you had feelings for him again? What am I to you? Are we even still best friends?”

My eyes got bigger in surprise. Did the fact that I wouldn't tell him every single detail of my life meant that we were not best friends anymore? What would he do if he found out I kept this incredibly huge secret from him all these years?

“Niall, it’s not what you-”

“No, wait.” he cut me, leaving me motionless, my lips parting. “I come here to tell you I dumped Maya and I find you cuddling Harry?”

He shook his head, scoffed and turned around, clearly annoyed as he pulled on his hair. But all I could think about was that he had broken up with Maya. He was not with her anymore and it didn't matter why. I felt my whole body vibrate and I teared up. It was so wrong to be happy because of someone else's misfortune, I knew it, but I couldn't help it. I was ecstatic.

“It’s really not what you think, Niall.”

I held my breath when I heard Harry's voice. I had almost forgotten that he was there, silently witnessing Niall's break down and my embarrassment, but the fact that he added something seemed to piss Niall off even more.

“He’s right.” I let out with a small shrug. “And we weren’t cuddling.”

He turned to me quickly and faced me, making me hold my breath.

“Don’t lie to me, I have two functioning eyes!”

“Oh my god Niall calm down!”

The words escaped my mouth and I felt bad for a few seconds as he took a step back. I could have slapped him and he would probably have had the same reaction. I barely noticed Harry getting up and telling me he was leaving but i nodded and instinctively smiled. It seemed to take forever until he was gone. I could still hear him walk down the stairs on the other side of the door but all I could focus was Niall. We were staring at each other intensely and all I repeated in my head was 'I love him' over and over again, the words hitting my brain in a throbbing sensation, kind of like a hammer.

I breathed in, pushing locks of my hair behind my ears and brought my arms around my body as if I was trying to protect myself but I was not sure from what. From him? From being hurt? From.. myself? I breathed in and out a few times, trying to remain calm because I knew this conversation could turn wrong and I didn't want to.

“Harry and I are just friends, Niall, that’s all.” I explained again, waiting a few seconds before I continued. “I’m not getting back with him, Niall.”

“You know what? I don’t believe you!”

I thought my words and tone would calm him down but the truth was, he seemed even more pissed than before Harry left. I didn't know why, I didn't seem to understand, and I had no idea how to reassure him more.

“Why?” I wondered, taking a step closer to him. “I won’t go back with him!”

“And why wouldn’t you go back with him mm?” his voice raised and he threw his arms up. “He’s perfect, he clearly still has feelings for you and you two didn’t really have any reason to break up.”

Of course I hadn't told Niall that the reason Harry broke up with me was because he knew I had feelings for Niall. I had kept this an other secret and whenever he would ask, I told him I didn't want to talk about it, resulting in him thinking there was actually no valid reason. I knew I should tell him but I also knew I didn't have the courage to.

“Because… that’s not how it works, Nee.” I replied, shaking my head and avoiding his eyes as I tried not to get too mad.

It was not easy. I couldn't believe he was not seeing it. I couldn't believe he didn't want to see it. It made me mad in a way I couldn't explain. The kind of anger that makes you want to cry until you're completely dry. I was tired that he'd doubt me when I loved him so much. I was tired to have to share him when I was all his. I was so fucking tired to love him without getting anything back in return.

“WHY?”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU OKAY!?”

Silence fell between us but I suddenly felt myself become lighter. My heartbeats came back to a normal pace as if my heart had been beating harder than it should have had in the past weeks. I could feel hope and warmth invade my whole body and although I hated myself for it, I also felt better, way better than I had felt in months... years, even. I hadn't realized how heavy this secret was before letting it out.

“What?”

His voice was low and I could hear fear.

“I love you Niall. I’m in love with you.” I let out, swallowing hard but realizing the lump I used to have in my throat wasn't there anymore. “I’ve always been. Since the day I found out what love was, I knew the love of my life was you. I didn’t stop loving you, not even half a second. It’s always been you, and no one else.”

“That makes… no sense.” he expressed in a murmur, taking a step back and making me bite my bottom lip gently.

“Except it makes all the sense in the world, Niall, don’t you think?” My voice was just as low, if not lower, but I knew he could hear me perfectly. He was focused on me the same way I was concentrating on him. “Don’t you think we make sense?”

“As best friends, yea.” he said a little louder, now completely calm. “As.. maybe a bit more than that, sure. We make sense as ambiguous best friends that people question, okay, I get that.”

I don't think he realized what he was saying but to me, it meant exactly that. We were best friends that were more than best friends. We were best friends that were meant to be with each other. Not many people keep childhood friends in their life while being just as close to them as they always were. Did he not see that our relationship was unique? Or was I imagining all this? No, he just didn't see it. He didn't want to see it. And it hit me that I was right. I was going to lose him because he didn't love me. He didn't love me even if everyone tried to convince me that he did.

“But Olivia, you and I? As a couple?” he shook his head and shrugged as if it meant nothing. “No, it doesn’t make sense. It wouldn’t work.”

I had a million thoughts running in my mind normally but since Niall got here, I could only think about my love for him. That's all that seemed to matter. It was obsessing me. I looked up at him after a few seconds and licked my lips.

“Do you love me, Niall?”

I watched him as he literally closed right in front of me, putting his hands in his pockets and withdrawing into himself. He was trying to find a way to answer me without hurting me, I knew it. I knew Niall so well it was scary yet beautiful. This story, I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

“You always ask me that question. My answer is still the same.”

I took an other step closer and tilted my head more. He knew what I meant, and I wanted him to answer me. I needed to hear it, no matter what the answer would be. It was too late anyway, I couldn't go back, and if I wanted to be honest, I didn't want to go back.

“I mean real love.”

I was very close to him, now, and I tilted my head up to look in his eyes. My head was throbbing with fear yet I felt calm and serene as I waited. He looked down in my eyes and I told myself that no one else looked that good from that angle. Niall always looked good. He also smelled good, so good that it made me slightly dizzy. His eyes roamed on my face and I held my breath, enjoying the way he was looking at me. I knew I didn't look like the kind of girl he dated, liked or fucked, but love was more than that, right? Love was not physical, it was emotional, mental.. it came from the soul, the heart, from deep inside. He brought his hand up and his fingertips brushed on my cheek. It felt so amazing I had to stop myself from tearing up. His thumb rubbed gently on my cheekbone and my eyes fluttered a bit. I wanted to cry and I was not even sure why.

“I can’t.” his hand slipped from my face as he took a step back and my heart stopped. “I’m sorry.”

He turned around, his back facing me, and it seemed like I was too far from him now. I almost forgot how to breathe.

“Niall…”

He didn't move. He just shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

I watched him grab the knob and open the door before leaving and i couldn't tell how long I stayed motionless, just staring at the spot he was in, after he left. And just like that, the lump was back in my throat and the heavy feeling was smothering me again.

�� ----

It took me a few days to realize that Niall wouldn't call or try to get in contact with me. I had avoided phone calls even thought Julie, Liam, Harry and even Louis had tried to talk to me. I was just not ready to face anyone and I didn't want them to tell me that Niall would eventually come back or worse, that they felt sorry for me. It's only after about two weeks of loneliness that I heard a knock at my door. I thought it was one of my neighbors since no one had rang before and I opened the door without thinking. Had it been too long since I saw an other human (excluding the chinese delivery guy)? Perhaps, but when I saw who was on the other side, I regretted answering.

Louis sent me a grin and leaned against the door frame as I stared at him. We were not really close and it was a bit surprising to see him but I didn't ask anything. I just raised my eyebrows and tilted my head, trying to push away the hope inside me that it had something to do with Niall.

"Can I help you?"

He grabbed the cigarette behind his ear and handed it to me but I just shook my head before he put it between his lips.

"Can I come in?" he asked after lighting it up and taking a puff. "We need to talk."

"We can talk here." I just answered a bit roughly, making him chuckle.

"Why so wild?" he wondered, amused.

I sighed and tried to calm myself, shrugging a shoulder.

"I don't know, I guess i'm trying to get rid of everything that makes me think of Niall or that links me to him, which includes you."

"I'm not Niall, you should remember that." he pointed out. "And you and I are friends, independently of him, so be prepared to find a fucking great friend in me, Liv."

I wanted to be pissed but the truth was, I could see myself in Louis and he was entertaining. Plus, I couldn't push away everyone, and apparently some of them were stubborn and persistent. No matter why Louis was here for, I knew that in the end, i'd do what he'd ask me to. I was ready to resist but it was inevitable.

"What do you want, 'Tommo'?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and making him laugh at the nickname his friends give him.

"Good, you're a fast learner." he smirked, pulling again on his cigarette. "See, we're going out for my birthday tonight, and you're formally invited."

I frowned, knowing deep down that it was a fucking bad idea but considering it anyway. I was tired to be alone and even worse, to drink alone. Perhaps doing it with a few friends would help me get some things off my mind.

I turned to look at the window, watching snowflakes fall gently and slowly in front of it and I let out a sigh.

"I don't know, Louis, I have nothing to wear anyway."

"Liv, it's a bar, not a ball." he expressed, raising his eyebrows. "A pair of jeans and your converse and you're ready to go. Unless you want to do something with your hair."

I rolled my eyes and grimaced.

"Oh shut up!" I groaned, making him laugh again, before I shrugged, losing my smile. "Is he gonna be there?"

Louis sighed and shook his head.

"You have to come, Liv, it's my birthday."

"Well technically..."

"Olivia, it's my fucking birthday!" he expressed, cutting me short. "I don't know if Niall's gonna be there, I lean towards no, but I can't make any promise."

I stared at him, watching the smoke from his cigarette move between us, twisting and turning on itself. I breathed in and sighed louder than I should have as his lips curled more. He knew I was giving in and I knew it too.

"Give me ten minutes." I just said, leaving the door open and turning around to go get dressed.

"Make it fifteen, love." he joked as I heard the door close behind him. "Spend five more on your hair."

Without turning around, I moved my arm up to show him my middle finger and heard him laugh from my room.

---

The bar was not as crowded as I thought but the closer we got to the table, the harder my heart was beating. I didn't know if I was relieved of disappointed when we finally reached it and I noticed that Niall wasn't there but I just smiled and sat next to Julie who greeted me all while holding Liam's hand on the table. Eleanor was there too, along with Lottie and a her boyfriend and a few more people I didn't know. I noticed Harry who was coming back from the bar with a beer pitcher and when he sat next to me, I sent him a big smile.

"I'm glad you're here." he admitted, bending down a bit closer. "I didn't think Louis would convince you. I was actually pretty sure you wouldn't even open your door."

"He didn't ring." I explained with a grimace. "I thought it was a neighbor."

Harry nodded, closing his eyes with a smile. "Clever."

I laughed a bit and shook my head. "Yea, I guess!"

He poured beer in my empty mug and I thanked him before taking a sip. I was not a big fan of beer but it was still free alcohol and I was always in for that.

"It was not against you, you know." I pointed out, hoping he would understand.

"I know." he said in a low tone, turning his mug in his hand. "I didn't take it personal. I know you didn't answer Julie or Louis' calls either. No worries."

I was glad no one had mentioned Niall to me yet but I couldn't pretend that it was not surprising me. They all had tried to contact me about him and now that they finally got a hold of me, no one was even hinting at him. I was just telling myself how odd it was when something caught my attention.

I recognized him immediately as he walked on the small stage in front of our table. A projector was turned on, suddenly lighting him as he sat on a stool in front of a small piano. My heart stopped completely when I saw him. It felt like I hadn't seen him in years. He looked good and he hadn't changed and somehow, that thought made me tear up. I knew it was Louis' birthday and that he wouldn't miss it and perhaps that was why I was here : to see him for maybe the very last time. I was lying to myself when I pretended it was okay that he had left and that I had made the right choice. The right choice was him and I had lost him.

"I'm sorry to cut your discussions short." he apologized in the microphone and that's when I realized he was going to sing. "I promise it'll only take a few minutes of your time."

No matter what he was going to sing, I knew it would be a song that would haunt me for the rest of my life. It would be the song I would always cry on, the last song my best friend had sang in front of me, and just thinking about it made me tear up again.

"Recently, i've questioned myself a lot about what I want and how I feel. I've never been good at expressing my feelings and I know it's hurt some people. It's hurt the most important person in my life. I've hurt her over and over again through the years without knowing or.. maybe I just didn't want to know. I was in denial but now i'm not anymore. I can't keep my eyes and heart closed."

I frowned but then my eyes opened wider. I didn't want to look around myself, I knew they were all looking at me, and I wanted to focus on Niall and just him. Was it wrong of me to think he was talking about me? Was I hallucinating? Or lying to myself again? I couldn't help but think I should get up and leave but I didn't want to and even if I had wanted, I couldn't have. I was stuck on this chair, my hands gripping my beer, my fingers turning red from the tight squeeze I had on it without even realizing it. He let his fingers slide on a few keys and I could swear my heart vibrated at the same time. He cleared his throat and when he started playing, I felt my heart sink in my chest.

"Looking back through changes Where we started from Don't know about you but I knew it wasn't wrong You know I kept a place For you in my mind And I know you did the same 'Cause you're just that kind."

I had stopped breathing but I started crying. I wasn't even ashamed of my tears and anyway, I couldn't stop them.

"So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We've known since we were young So why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I'm home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?"

His eyes met mine and I breathed in, trying not to blink. I saw guilt on his face but also something else, something I had seen before but that I could never decipher. He stared at me as he sang, his eyes leaving me briefly from time to time only to look at his own fingers move on the keys.

"Moving on You and I started looking back Now we've got to make up For all the wasted time You know I'd never let you just walk on by From the day that I met you I knew you'd be mine, yeah."

My mind was blank as I tried to understand the lyrics. My heart was saying it was love and my head was telling me to keep it real, that Niall didn't love me and that he had made it clear. But did he ever say that? Did he ever tell me that he didn't love me?

"So if we knew all along Why did it take so long? We've known since we were young Why did it take so long? You know you make me feel loved Make me feel like I'm home So if we knew all along Why did it take so long?"

I was paralyzed and crying in a bar surrounded by strangers but also friends, friends who knew exactly why I was there and that this would happen. A bunch of feelings rushed inside me but I remained motionless as something twisted in my stomach and did the same to my heart at the same time. It's only when he sang the bridge that I realized that my tears had flood my cheeks and that I didn't want to wipe them. It's only when he sang those words that it hit me hard, so hard I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Just started, it's just started I'm having trouble believing it's true Just started, just started Now we got nothing to prove."

He loved me, didn't he? He was telling me exactly that but my mind wouldn't process it. I had spent so many nights trying to reason myself and get it to my head that Niall would never have these feelings for me and he was there, just singing his heart out to me through a song I had never heard before and I felt my heart jump higher than ever in my chest at the thought that he may have written it for me.

He sang the chorus again and when I heard the last notes, I heard claps around me. A lot of people got up, I heard some whistles and screams, but I couldn't move. Niall got up and moved his head as a thank you before getting off the stage and without realizing it, I got up and walked up to him. I didn't care that I was in front of a bunch of people. I didn't care that everyone was looking at us. I was so close to him that I had to look up to dive my gaze in his. He looked down and shook his head slightly, his face twisting in a guilty and sad expression.

"I'm so sorry, Olivia." he whispered, and I was surprised I could hear him so clearly through all the noise around us. "I was a fucking idiot."

His large hands cupped my face, his fingers pressing on my cheeks, jaw and neck as my heartbeats accelerated. I remained silent, I just wanted to hear what he had to say. I needed it. And I couldn't help but think that I deserved it.

"I love you." he whispered, bending down, his lips almost touching mine. "I feel like I always did. I was not ready, I didn't want to ruin things, I was scared. Those are all bad reasons and I regret them."

I nodded slowly and swallowed hard. It made me realize the lump was gone again and when he wiped my tears with his thumbs, I felt my lips curl slightly.

"I love you." he repeated.

I only closed my eyes when his lips were on mine. They moved slowly and softly against mine. I brought both my hands to his wrists as his grip on my face tightened. I had to touch him if only to convince myself this was real. I needed to touch him to be sure he wouldn't just disappear and that I wouldn't wake up alone in my bed. But this was true, he was there, he was kissing me, and the way he tasted was beyond all my expectations.

His lips parted mine to deepen the kiss and I could swear I heard someone yell "Fucking finally!" behind me. I smiled through the kiss and I could feel Niall do the same. His lips brushed up against mine and a shiver ran up my spine before he grabbed my upper lip between his to kiss me again. No one had ever kissed me like that and I knew that no one else ever would.

"You still love me, yea?" he whispered, his mouth leaving small but soft kisses on the corner of my lips and his hands still holding my jaw.

I chuckled against his mouth as he kissed me again. I felt like he would never stop and I didn't want him to stop anyway. I felt overjoyed and my whole body was throbbing

"Don't be stupid." I whispered. "I always have and I always will."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #amc #god for some reason i feel like its the shittest chapter i wrote for this story #sorry guys!!!

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doctorgerth · 5 years

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Heyyy !! Can I request relationship hc for Hawkins, Killer, Kid and Bonney please ?

You sure can! I went ahead and did 20 hcs for these peeps too. I have already done Killer here (i LOVE that we’re seeing more of him in requests) so I have Hawkins, Kid, and Bonney for you!Please forgive me for the utter trash that is Bonney’s part, I just couldn’t think too much for her! Hopefully we’ll learn lots more about her soon so I can do her justice lol

I hope you enjoy regardless, anon! Thanks for your request! x

Relationship HCs: Hawkins, Kid, Bonney

Hawkins

(i really find it interesting to write for him, I hope i portray him ok)

- it takes a lot of self sacrifice for him to commit to a person romantically as he is a bit selfish and more driven by his own personal endeavors

- he’s not too familiar with the selflessness and commitment that is required in romantic relationships as he hasn’t had much experience in that area

- but it goes a bit deeper than that, he’s actually terrified of giving his all to another person as there’s just so many things that could go wrong

- so he prefers to keep himself distant, save himself from pain; Hawkins doesn’t like to make himself vulnerable to others so he sure won’t set himself up for that kind of failure if he can avoid it

- when he enters a relationship, he is initially very hesitant; he definitely prefers to learn about his potential s/o before he ever tries to bring romance into the picture, he’s not one to just dive headfirst into unfamiliar territory

- Hawkins is a bit awkward as this type of relationship is very new to him, so he asks that his partner be very patient with him because he is genuinely trying

- he wouldn’t enter a relationship just to waste each other’s time, so when he pursues someone there’s meaning to it, he sees potential in that relationship (or his cards are literally telling him to trust them)

- due to his awkwardness he has a bad habit of blushing when his partner does/says something endearing

- he honestly hates this about himself, as it breaks his stoic nature, so he tries desperately to hide his flushed face from everyone and he’ll just kind of awkwardly walk away to avoid any teasing comments

- reserved when it comes to affections; on the outside it might seem like he and his s/o are simply comrades as he doesn’t really like to display his affectionate side in public nor does he publicly acknowledge them as his s/o (this is to protect them of course)

- he’s not a very touchy man even behind closed doors and he doesn’t want a very touchy/clingy partner either; he cherishes his independence and alone time, so he expects his partner to respect that and take time to enjoy themselves as well

- it’s not like he’s completely opposed to affection, he just thinks there is a certain time and place for these actions and he prefers to limit them, since superfluous affection loses meaning in his mind

- he believes romantic/affectionate moments between him and his lover are not meant for a show, they are private moments that he wishes to share and treasure with them alone

- some of his favorite ways of displaying affection are squeezing his partner’s hand in his or leaning his forehead against theirs, it really calms his anxiety

- it takes a lot to crack those lips of his into a smile, but he’s not opposed to a partner who can make his lips turn upward every now and then; only his s/o gets his kind, genuine smile; but they must remember that he hates jokes, so trying to crack a joke to make him smile will pretty much never work

- easy ways to get him to smile are genuine compliments, thank you’s, or simple words of adoration, nothing too excessive or cheesy

- doesn’t realize just how protective he is until something happens to them the first time; it could be something as simple as them tripping over their own feet that triggers this protective streak that courses through him and he realizes he was created to protect them with his life

- so after that he tends to keep a close eye on them, ready to jump at their aide when needed, regardless if they can protect themselves or not

- despite his enigmatic nature, he’s actually great about discussing feelings; he hates confrontation/useless arguing, so he prefers to communicate rather than fight when they are at a disagreement; he’s a very understanding guy, and is really great at compromising

- Hawkins is very mature and desires an equally mature partner; he’s a bit reclusive at the beginning of a new relationship, but give him time and he becomes a truly compassionate s/o!

Kid

(my asshole husband)

- he is honestly shit at pursuing someone tbh; he’s a major flirt but at the same time in complete denial when actually facing his feelings for someone

- Kid doesn’t just fall in love, what kind of spell are they putting him under?; he straight up avoids his crush for as long as possible, praying that the feelings will just go away on their own

- and when they don’t he is pissed; he doesn’t have the time to be pursuing someone right now! how dare they make him feel this way about them?

- the whole “becoming official” thing is literally just him professing his feelings through rather rough displays of affection; he’ll randomly go up to them, grab them by the face, and just plant a deep kiss on their lips, looking to confirm whether they want to be his or not

- if they return his kiss, then he just sorta expects them to know that they are his now; he’s not good with words when it comes to emotional feelings, much preferring to show what he’s feeling as that’s all he’s ever known, and this doesn’t change in the least bit during the course of the relationship

- he needs a partner that is okay with him randomly approaching them, sometimes during inappropriate times, and just hugging them tightly or pressing a hard kiss on their lips, which sometimes lead to a rather steamy make out session in front of, well, everybody

- Kid could care less about how improper PDA is, he loves his s/o and he’s a very touchy guy, so he’s gonna express his affection anywhere and everywhere when he’s in the mood; he’s a fucking pirate captain, so he challenges anyone to say a thing about it to his face

- and honestly, if his s/o gets super flustered about PDA, that only drives him to do it more; he loves to get reactions out of people, his s/o specifically being his main target

- so which goes without saying that Kid is a bit relentless in teasing his partner, whether it’s snide comments, sneaky little groping, or pranks, Kid just loves to keep his partner on their toes, and life with him is truly never ever boring

- he’s an insanely competitive guy that turns literally anything into a competition with his s/o, whether it be who can finish dinner the quickest, who can chug more beers before throwing up, or silly things like who can profess their love the loudest, he’s gonna go big and prove his superiority at all costs

- definitely the type to never go easy/let his partner win anything, Kid always has to be the winner and will constantly brag about it lol

- now life with Kid isn’t always fun and games, it takes a very special someone to put up with his antics; he’s a bit selfish at times, definitely a dickhead, and his temper tantrums are always a bit unpredictable, so his s/o needs to be aware and prepared

- once Kid gets truly angry, it’s damn near impossible to talk sense into him, therefore, I feel he needs someone patient and understanding; he needs someone who lets him fume during alone time, but also remains close by so as to keep him from doing anything reckless

- arguing with Kid can be a bit tiring as he’s very vocal about his feelings, even if they don’t make sense sometimes, and he tends to yell a lot; he’s a bit childish during arguments, but it’s only because he lets his anger get the best of him

- once he calms down, he can offer a sincere apology and mature communication; he’s a bit hesitant to apologize as that goes against his pride, but with an s/o he truly loves, I feel as if he’s more inclined to admit when he’s wrong

- although a rough man, Kid really treasures gentle touches; soft hands rubbing away pain or anger or sadness from his body really help soothe him; he’s a sucker for gentle lovers, but also intrigued by people who aren’t scared to put him in his place when he’s being ridiculous

- besides physical affection, another way Kid likes to demonstrate his adoration is through gifts; he likes to make little trinkets or jewelry for his s/o, but he’s pretty shy about it, so they have to be quick in complimenting the gift

- if there’s any hint of hesitation, he’ll angrily throw it overboard and run back into his shop to make something better for them

- 100% protective and 100000% the jealous type; if you so much as look at his s/o the wrong way, you’re already dead before you can look away

- Kid goes all out in everything he does, and that makes relationships no exception; whether it’s fighting, sex, gift-making, teasing, cuddle time, or whatever, he truly puts his all into the relationship and feels no shame about it; when he loves someone, he truly loves them; they’re his forever and no one can change that

Bonney

(i luv this gif of her she’s so cute uwu)

- I feel as if Bonney can be a bit tsundere once she realizes she has romantic feelings for someone; she’ll be a bit harsh to them for making her feel so silly

- she’s a pirate, tough as nails, cunning as a fox, bends for no one…how could a simple person make her feel so vulnerable and desperate for their attention?

- like Kid, she will avoid them at all costs, disgusted by the butterflies they produce in her tummy, so she’ll overeat even more to stuff those butterflies down

- this doesn’t work however, as anytime she sees her crush she just melts, suddenly feeling a bit ill as her stomach can’t hold the food she eats anymore

- when she realizes she needs to confess, this is the brief time that she stops eating *as much* just because her nerves are all over the place

- the confession part is hella awkward, and she’s a bit brutish about it, simply blurting out her feelings and demanding their answer on the spot

- if they take too long she’ll get frustrated (note: scared) and will desperately try to run away after, determined to forget anything ever happened

- if they admit to liking her back however, she’s completely elated but even more nervous?? like what the hell do they do now?

- for a while, she’ll let her s/o take control of the relationship, guide her through the dates and other romantic gestures as she really has no clue?

- restaurant dates are always a go to, though they never go quite as planned because restaurants are never really prepared for Bonney’s appetite; plus they usually get kicked out cause of her table manners

- Bonney has pretty bad manners, so her s/o has to tolerate that, she doesn’t plan on changing for anybody so a partner who berates her for her attitude is instantly a turn off

- it’s honestly quite demanding for her partner if they can cook anything; the moment they cook something delicious for Bonney, she’s going to fall deeper for them yes, but she’s also gonna practically beg them to cook that thing for her like all the time now lol

- other than restaurant dates, she doesn’t really require fancy dates or gestures from her partner

- she’s a really simple girl and doesn’t typically enjoy being treated as if she were a princess or someone deserving to be spoiled; treat her like an equal and that’s all she could ever ask for

- she loathes people who act like she needs them to take care of her or try to treat her gently just because she is a woman; she can easily take care of herself, so she needs a partner who can see that and respects it

- if her s/o has an appetite like hers it’s both a blessing and a curse; a blessing because she finds it hella attractive for someone to love food as much as she does but also a curse because they are definitely going to fight over that last slice of pizza…

- PDA isn’t really her thing, so don’t expect her to be very touchy with her lover, she saves that for private time

- Bonney doesn’t like anyone too serious, but they need to have common sense; someone reckless will constantly stress her out, so she doesn’t really go for the wild type

- but she still loves to have fun with her s/o! she just doesn’t want to continuously worry about their safety

- going out on adventures together or kicking some ass together, she likes someone who keeps her life interesting, a partner who sticks by her side enjoying the same things in life that she does

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