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#they treated me like absolute fucking garbage
hxhhasmysoul · 3 days
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Hello, hello, have you seen the newest update of JJK? I'm so proud of my best boy, Yuuji....
Can, I ask, why do you think Yuuji is one of the character that is so underated in JJK? He is the mc, but many people (in fandom) treat him like a side character? At first, I don't think so, but I love many shounen, and somehow Yuuji is one of the mc that is underated in their own story....
Sorry if I'm wrong, just I love Yuuji and want him to get the spotlight he deserve....
Sorry it took me so fucking long to reply to this.
If you think that the story doesn’t focus on him enough then I don’t really agree with that but I don’t think it’s wrong of you to feel like that. But I’m not sure this is even what you meant, I just wanted to move this out of the way. And the following paragraphs will explain that a bit. That will be the nice part of this reply.
JJK isn’t a story that mainly follows one character and the plot happens only where that character is. For example, as much as I watched of Demon Slayer (I think up to season 3 and I have no interest in picking it up again ) or read of the Chainsaw Man (first part, I got bored a few chapters into the second), made me think that those stories are too focused on one character. Villains did villain things on the side but the story always came back to the main character and focused on him in the end and plot usually happened where he happened to be, and he was the one to kill the bosses. In JJK even if the story lines feed into each other, they have much more independence and it doesn’t feel that Yuuji is the centre of the universe and the story just waits for him to move. And my personal preference is for the JJK kind of story, as I said CSM and Demon Slayer didn’t manage to hold my interest. 
It’s just a matter of preference. And If you’d like the story to be more streamlined around him there’s nothing wrong with that.
That being said, I think that the JJK story still strongly centres around Yuuji. 
He’s connected to all the most memorable and important villains of his time (aka those that didn’t die before he became a sorcerer). He’s one of the linchpins of Kenjaku’s plan and the only one of their experiments that they seem attached to, he’s Mahito’s obsession, he’s Sukuna’s nightmare and now also obsession. 
Yuuji is also strongly connected to all the major JJK themes: weakness vs strength, human connection vs loneliness, the value of life, bodily autonomy, humanity vs dehumanisation, oppressive systems of power, tradition, gender stereotypes, drive and agency, jujutsu world vs the normie world, family, love and friendship, new vs old. 
I think only Kenjaku also really connects to all of these to the same degree as Yuuji does, though some of the other characters are close like Sukuna, Maki or Megumi. Gojou or Nobara aren’t that strongly connected to some of them. And characters like Getou or Yuuta are even more tangentially connected to some of them or not at all. Yuuji really is the one who brings it all together. 
Here ends the nice part of this answer. Everything that follows will be rather bitter and unkind towards the JJK fandom. Because I’m really fed up with it as a larger group.
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So why does the fandom treat Yuuji like shit? There are a few reasons that can be pointed to and they apply to varying degrees to the behaviour of individual fans.
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Part 1 - This fandom is the fucking pits
The fandom in itself is absolute fucking garbage. Like interacting with it will make you lose faith in humanity and give you brain damage.
Casual fans 
JJK is a fairly popular title in the west and the fandom is quite big and loud. It’s an ongoing title with a hype anime and there are a lot of casual fans. It’s full of:
People who also like many other things and don’t really follow the story closely and don’t really know the lore. 
People who read/watched JJK once and haven’t really taken the time to understand the story and its world. 
People who as @/cursedvibes says have issues with object permanence and don’t remember what happened a few chapters earlier, and who feel that if the character isn’t in the frame that means that they are dead and/or forgotten and/or were always irrelevant. 
People who don’t really like stories like JJK but have never understood the idea of saying “this is not for me” and moving on. Instead they take it as a personal offence that this popular title doesn’t cater to their specific tastes. And they often have the delusion that their personal taste is the mark of objective quality. 
People who only want flashy fights and/or power scaling. 
A lot of these people feel that they need to shit out content about JJK on social media because that’ll get them into the trending tags. And since they don’t really have any opinions of their own apart from not being satisfied with JJK they find some cold take that sounds clever to them and regurgitate it over and over again until a new clever-sounding cold take becomes popular, rinse repeat. 
Those people should be ignored, blocked or muted. They’re just riding some pathetic bandwagon and clout chasing.
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Righteous Haters 
The cold takes the casual fans regurgitate usually come from people who just thrive on criticising popular things. Those divide into:
The “Intellectuals” who think they are better than the plebs who like popular things. In their mind popular things can do nothing right and are by default shallow and stupid.
The “Enlightened” who will jump at any opportunity to call something problematic and emerge as the morally pure person.
It’s hard to tell whether these people actually read the story and know it well. Their takes are usually very divorced from the text and I’m always on the fence whether it’s due to genuine lack of reading comprehension or willful misinterpretation. 
If you engage with these people they will argue with fucking manga panels, like they will not accept the text even if it’s presented to them. They are honestly a joke. But a lot of them will die on the hill of discrediting Yuuji and spread that opinion around wrapped in pseudointellectual language. Some of them will even put on the airs of academia without knowing how to academia a text in any of the many possible academic analysis ways. Or how to academia about social issues. It’s an intimidation tactic that makes me disrespect them.
Among the JJK enlightened you will find a lot of terfy pseudo feminism. It will be very conservative flavoured and really misogynistic, usually not overtly queerphobic but the vibe will be there, and it will aggressively bring up the general fandom opinion that Gege is a man (which may even be true but Gege doesn’t officially gender themself) to attack and discredit Gege and their work, according to the terfy belief that all men are dangerous and evil. There will also be a lot of intellectualised transphobia especially in relation to Kenjaku, but also Uraume, Tengen and Kirara. And all so funny homophobia about how in their opinion Gege is attracted to their male characters.
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The thirsters
JJK surprisingly aggressively caters to the female and queer gaze in ways that most shounen just don’t. I once wanted to make a joke post titled “The Masculine Forearm, the true main character of JJK” just consisting of panel after panel that is angled in such a way to put the skillfully drawn male hands and strong forearms front and centre. (The masculine hand and forearm are often mentioned in relation to the female gaze.)
I gave up, there’s just too many of those, simply look at the covers. It’s really funny because Gege does not hide the forearms of Yuuji or Megumi, but at least in the earlier manga that I analysed from that perspective, the forearm angles of those two are much tamer than for example when Sukuna or Nanami are shown. It almost feels like Gege knows or subconsciously senses that the forearm is thirst, is fanservice, and Gege is very consistent about not sexualising the teenage girls and likely also the boys. 
The forearm is of course the tip of the fanservice iceberg. Everything about the JJK men is very that to the point that JJK is widely known for its sexymen. There are people, including fan creators, in the fandom who have never read or watched JJK, they just learned of the sexymen thirsted hard enough to join the fandom.
These are the people who usually won’t actively attack Yuuji, they will just flood the fandom with the posts about their favs and make it seem that few people care for Yuuji. 
There are also Yuuji thirsters but there aren't that many of them. 
Yuuji is 15 years old in canon and some people just draw a line at thirsting over a character that is underage in canon. And as long as they don’t insult or harass others about that I don’t give a shit what they do. 
But also even if Yuuji was of age, Yuuji is not a prime thirst object. He’s for a slightly more refined palette. And he becomes more desirable if you understand his character better. 
On the surface Yuuji is a himbo, a dumb jock with a heart of gold and a cute face. There’s no mystique to him, no edge. This view of him is very widespread. For some thirsters that is enough but it’s not a popular thirst worthy type.
There are some thirsters who actually know the source material and know who Yuuji is but those are people who are in the JJK fandom for more than just thirst. 
Generally I don’t have a problem with thirsters but the more ignorant ones contribute to the general fandom idea that there’s nothing interesting to Yuuji.
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Gojou and SatoSugu fans
I ranted about those people a lot and everything I’ve written about them holds up. A large and loud subset of them will spam all the tags, will create posts that boil down to “JJK is about Gojou (and Getou) actually and everything that happens in JJK is about him (them), regardless if it happens to other characters”. If you don’t actually block them on sight, wading through the main JJK tags is nigh impossible. 
Gojou really won the internets and is truly the “strongest” of the JJK sexymen. 
The overabundance of content about him exposes a lot of people to the “meta” his fans produce in droves. I put it in quotation marks because fuck, so many of these people are allergic to canon and what they write is deranged fanfiction tagged as meta or discourse. Gojou exists in the western fandom more as headcanon than canon. And to people who aren’t really invested in JJK, he seems like the main and most important character. 
There are both shippers, thirsters, casual fans and righteous haters (they hate everything about JJK but Gojou (and Getou) in this group.
And of course they influence the perception of what JJK is, including the perception of Yuuji. 
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Sukuna fans
There are some of them who will spread takes that reduce Yuuji to Sukuna’s skin suit and will generally treat Yuuji as a function of Sukuna, not a separate character. Interestingly enough, Kusakabe is one of them but he pretends to be a Sukuna hater.
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People who think Kusakabe speaks the truth straight from Gege’s brain
Because the reading comprehension in the fandom is very poor, there are people who take whatever Kusakabe says at face value and will ignore everything else that has happened in the manga thus far. They also haven’t picked up on the fact that Kusakabe has always been deeply biassed against Yuuji. 
Why is Kusakabe still alive? 
And honestly not only Kusakabe, to them any character that discredits Yuuji is always correct and spot on.
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Megumi and ItaFushi, SukuFushi fans
There is a subset of those fans that despise Yuuji with a passion. They think that Megumi either should be or is the main character of JJK. They think that Sukuna has been obsessed with Megumi from the start because Megumi is special and has incredible potential. They will pretend that the main JJK storyline revolves around Megumi, they will often ignore Kenjaku completely and pretend they are not the main driver of the story. Because admitting that Kenjaku, not Sukuna was the main villain of the story, would just by itself completely discredit Megumi as the main character, because Megumi barely any connection to Kenjaku, only through Tsumiki and Yorozu, and has only a weak, practical, plot related and not thematic connection to Sukuna. He became Sukuna’s escape plan and a tool to kill Gojou.
He has no connection to any other major villains or antagonists in current day JJK. He’s only connected to Touji and Naoya, but it can be argued that Yuuji had more dealings with Naoya than Megumi. 
Yuuji’s connections to Sukuna are:
Practical - being Sukuna’s vessel and cage.
Plot related - he is Kenjaku’s way of controlling Sukuna and being Sukuna’s vessel influences everything about how Yuuji functions in the story and how he relates to other characters.
Emotional - they both harbour strong negative feelings for each other, Sukuna even more than Yuuji. 
Familial - they are related. Yuuji doesn’t know and would just likely compartmentalise it. Sukuna pretends he doesn’t care but it’s clear he cares very much actually.
Philosophical - Yuuji by merely being himself challenges Sukuna’s whole worldview. 
Thematic - strength vs weakness, sorcerer vs normie, humanity, value of human life, family, love, connection and loneliness, tradition, new vs old, bodily autonomy.
If those Megumi fans are shippers they will often push the dumb himbo stereotype on Yuuji. There are a lot of fics in the ItaFushi and FushiIta tags that will treat Yuuji as the necessary evil but you can really feel that the authors dislike him. Finding fics there from his POV or at least exploring him is a fucking chore. And that is or at least used to be the most popular ship tag for Yuuji. Pages upon pages of stereotyping or downright character assassination working hard to replace the canon Yuuji with the fanon one in the general fandom consciousness. 
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Part 2 - People say one thing and do/think another
Basically a lot of people are not really self aware or are hypocrites or just repeat things they read and never put any thought into them.
You will see a lot of people criticising shounen tropes. That shounen is formulaic, that the shounen main characters are all the same, that shounen battles are all the same, that shounen main characters are overpowered… and so on and so forth. 
Those same people will latch onto Gojou and crown him the main character. 
Because faced with Yuuji … they have no fucking clue what to do with Yuuji. They finally got a shounen main character that at first glance might seem like the same old shounen main but very quickly it becomes clear he absolutely isn’t that. 
So there are three reactions to that.
Denial
No, Yuuji actually is a stereotypical shounen main. He’s got colourful hair, he’s strong, he fights with his fist, he’s super dumb and kind of a pervert but nice and everyone instantly loves him. He gets power ups and learns everything too easily and too quickly, fights the bosses and breaks the story. And of course he has a sob story and is related to the villain. And his mum has a braid.. She doesn’t, well she does have a ponytail, kinda, in two of her bodies anyway…
And that’s it, there’s all there is to him, there’s nothing more to see. 
Faced with canon they will reject all arguments or block you.
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Rage
Yuuji is so fucking weak, why is he so weak? Why are there other characters in this story that get focus? Why is everyone more powerful than him? Why doesn’t he power up and destroy all the bosses, what kind of fucking shit is this? Well at least there’s Gojou the fucking GOAT, let’s go the strongest!!! 
Gojou died? Why? Didn’t he say he was the strongest? Why the fuck is Yuuji there? What can he even do? He wasn’t powering up and bodying opponents so we didn’t really pay attention to whatever was happening with him. This is some fucking ass pull.
They also can’t accept that the final battle isn’t a one vs one, that there’s actually a plan with many aspects and contingencies. That the characters are trying to be rational about this thing, they aren’t driven by their egos and desire for glory, well apart from two, and they just want to do everything they can to get rid of Sukuna and stop Kenjaku.
This is not acceptable. If it’s not hard hits and energy flashes but plans and strategy then it’s not a real shounen fight. Gojou vs Sukuna was kinda a fight like that, of course Sukuna was not doing it right because he was scheming too much. But it should’ve ended there, Gojou’s energy balls should’ve concluded the manga.
If you try to suggest to them that he’s just a different kind of character and JJK isn’t that kind of shounen and that it's actually okay for it to take a different route, the rage will spill. They will not accept that shounen can be many things but they will complain that all shounens are the same and predictable. 
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Condescension 
Yuuji isn’t what they want him to be and that’s “objectively” bad writing. That’s it. They will actually list how Yuuji should’ve been written but more importantly how everything should’ve been written and generally Yuuji should’ve never been put forward as the main character because he really doesn’t make sense as one. Gege is just a bad writer and it’s all mid and doesn’t make sense. 
What’s even the point? Is there even a story in JJK, what is it even about? The magic system surely doesn’t make any sense, who even understands that? Everyone who says they understand is lying.
Sure, there were some interesting parts in it, so people got hyped, like the Hidden Inventory arc and Shibuya but only until Gojou got sealed, everything after that is just boring and awful and did I mention bad writing? 
And all those deaths of fandom sweethearts, pointless. Either they are just for shock value because there was nothing absolutely nothing in the writing that suggested that they might die, od Gege just being mean to the fandom and hating their own characters and Gege should honestly *insert violent ideation*. Or the deaths are too predictable, generally everything is so predictable in JJK, and stereotypical. 
Why do people even care or like it, they are objectively wrong if they do. Because hello the writing is so fucking bad, people have no fucking taste honestly. Who even reads that shit anymore?
Why are those people still in the fandom? Fuck knows.. They will spam the tags though, incessantly. The world must know how much they are better than JJK, Gege and those losers who have anything positive to say about JJK.
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Honestly there is no winning with any of these people. What they claim they want is not what they are ready to embrace or even tolerate. They can’t also accept that maybe JJK just isn’t for them. There must be something wrong with JJK and with Gege because their tastes are universal and objective. 
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Part 3 - JJK may be a shounen but Yuuji is a shoujo main character
I’ve written about it before (some of it is a bit outdated now due to what was revealed in the manga) but I will always stand by this. Because it really explains everything. 
Yuuji isn’t a typical shounen protagonist but if you look at shoujo protagonists you’ll see his type of protagonist. He is of course a mix of both and in the recent chapters he’s leaning a little more shounen but not too much.
He’s not indulging Sukuna, look how little he even speaks in this fight. He’s not revelling in this fight like Gojou had because he’s not fighting for himself. The outcome, not the fight matters. He’s still not ego driven, still two of his win conditions apart from his fighting abilities are his personality and strength of convictions that so deeply unsettle and upset Sukuna. 
Recently everyone in the story, apart from Chousou, Higuruma and Toudou puts Yuuji down, discredits all his accomplishments. He even is starting to believe it. Sukuna is continuing to take everyone away from him. And yet Yuuji is still fighting because this is not about his ego. This is about removing the threat that is Sukuna and hopefully saving Megumi. He really puts himself last and isn’t even given the space to feel bad. All of this will just be there to crush him later.
And the fandom just takes every single insult hurled at Yuuji by the other characters at face value, as if the jujutsu world hasn’t always been hostile to him, treated him as less than human. As if those characters were impartial and haven’t been showing their bias towards Yuuji. They don't pick up on the fact that the jujutsu world is rotten to its core and Gege has consistently used the story to question the values of that world.
So lastly the fandom can’t stomach that Yuuji isn’t 100% stereotypically masculine, that his arc isn’t an alpha male power fantasy. That he isn’t written to perfectly embody the conservative gender norms. This is what the weakness accusation is all about, even if the people hurling it would swear up and down that they aren’t misogynists. Because Yuuji isn’t only accused of losing but also of crying, of breaking down, of being scared. This slight proximity to what is considered stereotypically feminine is a vice. One that for many discredits him completely, makes him not worthy of being the main character. 
And if you think that I’m reaching with this… It’s a pattern that repeats itself in the fandom. You will see criticism of the JJK girls for not being soft enough, girly enough. Any proximity for masculinity will be zeroed in on and criticised under the guise of “feminism” with the terfy sentiment that female characters can’t be girly anymore. But girly characters like Hana or Yorozu will be hated for their proximity to stereotypical femininity because that’s considered feeble and shallow and unworthy. And just look how the fandom reacted to Megumi having an ugly and hysterical mental breakdown. To him showing weakness and not manning up. To him showing his emotions in such a visceral way. 
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These are the three main reasons why I think Yuuji is so underrated and why so many people will go to great lengths to just shit on him.
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Getting annoyed with myself because I'm looking for validation for breaking up with my ex YET AGAIN
#it's probably because we're coming up to a year post breakup#like not super soon I guess but end of next month#idk like#yes they absolutely did treat me like shit#but did I overreact?#the answer is very much no#bc again#they treated me like absolute fucking garbage#but we had known each other for fourteen years#I guess in my mind I should have kept going because we had been making it work for so long#but like they literally tried to steal my then fiancé now husband#his and my relationship was so strained during the worst of the ex#but now he and I are better than ever so I won#maybe I need to find and reblog that post I made about them#just to like... prove to myself that yes it really really really REALLY was that bad#my husband saw it my work mom saw it my wife saw it my friends all saw it#but I feel like for every bad thing about them I said out loud there were three more bad things I didn't share#so anything I've posted literally isn't even the half of it#James is reminding me that it was literally soul sucking bc I was soooooooooooo miserable every moment around them#plus nothing else should matter except they didn't even respect the ONE boundary I set for them for the time they lived with me#all I asked was please don't use my desk bc that's the only thing that's mine until you move out#my desk is where I do my arts and crafts so it's always got some sort of supplies or materials on it#stuff that ya know is pretty important to me#guess how I found them one night. guess.#sitting at my fucking desk with a bowl of fucking ramen playing their stupid fucking computer#LITERALLY THE ONLY BOUNDARY PEOPLE#I'm sorry I know I'm just rambling in the tags but like I'm just really fucking annoyed at myself for how much I put up with
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tlgtw · 2 months
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MGSV really is *so* misogynistic it is honestly hard to believe. It has ONE named female character, just one. And holy shit, the things they make that single woman do.
I don't know what happened. Or how Kojima thought what we was doing was defensible.
I could just link to the introduction of the SKULL snipers from Mission 28 Code Talker but even that I feel is so unbelievable to see with your own eyes that it would exit the mind as soon as it stopped playing.
Literally every criticism made during that era toward's this game is accurate. Every single one.
It might legit be the WORST example of "male gaze," literally literally ever. Out of everything.
If MGSV had outright no women in it whatsoever it would be better than what this is.
The cutscene for when Big Boss comes to Mother Base after not showering was what sealed it for me.
And the fact that there were people back then who thought they could defend this perhaps makes it even more deranged.
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cloudcountry · 5 months
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there is no way the ikevamp guys are being such assholes in jean's route i must be dreaming
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thekidsare-not-alright · 10 months
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I think some mcr fans would rather die than acknowledge that the break up helped cement their legacy and popularity. everyone loves a martyr/what they can't get more of, yknow. it's a fact of life
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7-oh-ta1 · 3 months
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Been trying to working on my trust issues thru writing and here's the problem: I think everything I say makes sense how does everyone else not think this way
#lindsay speaks#// vent ish#like yk usually therapist say it's coming from an irrational fear but i don't feel like I'm being irrational i think I'm very logical#like i mentioned recently i don't believe in absolutes especially in relationships and the counselor I was talking to was baffled ghhghfh#''not even your family?'' girl especially??? what are we talking about#and then it was how do you know if you don't try / every person is different every relationship is and it's like yeah#but someone always leaves first there's no other end to this story yadayada so then it's it's normal for relationships to only last a seaso#like ok so you agree there are no absolutes and shes like wait no. ok so what gives. there's no such thing as unconditional love#there's always conditions. there's always exceptions. there's always an end. and the majority of the time it's a bloody one.#so really why treat anything seriously.... it will never last soooo... i give up#literally everytime i have said ''yk what... I'm going to trust them. if they say nothing's wrong then nothing's wrong. if I'm loving them#wrong they will let me know. if they hate me they will tell me. stop worrying stop worrying!!'' and then it's always [#[psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation]#and I'm left feeling like what the fuck is reality what is going on and they're like ''yk you're just not fun anymore'' and throw me away#meanwhile I'm still laying there in the garbage bin confused as fuck !!!!!!!! what the hell !!!!!! I'm not fun anymore because I'm hurt??#and confused???#so no. absolutes do not exist. and people will leave you for reasons such as ''too emotional'' or ''no fun anymore''#and I've accepted that. i guess it's trying to unaccept it that i struggle with.#because logically. it just makes sense.#and it's ruining my life that i can't trust anyone#and I'm right about it.#and if it's not a universal truth then... it's just me. and I'm cursed#my b lemme stop being so not fun then.
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avisisisis · 4 months
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I hate when I see people hating on the gods because of PJO, it makes me so sad and angry
Also. The amount of people calling the female gods "a bitch" is insufferable. First of all, lazy insult, second of all, these characters are fucking ancient. They have years of history in them. You can't just think of their character as "a bitch". NOT EVEN THE BITCH, JUST A BITCH — AS IN, AN INSULT
#see i'm okay w ppl insulting their favs as a joke#i do it too#but (n it might just be me loving these characters) watching ppl insult them bc they hate them is#it's just so weird to me#like#i'm not explaining myself well-#calling the character out on all the shit they've done (the gods have done some very fucked up stuff) is okay#i love to do that. criticizing my favorite stuff is one of my favorite hobbies#the problem is when ppl treat their character like absolute garbage without knowing anything about them#“athena is a bitch who supports SA 👿👿” they say when SHE IS NOT???#HER CURSING MEDUSA BC SHE WAS SAd IS ONLY ONE VERSION OF THE MYTH#and (as far as i'm aware) it's the roman version of the myth too! so not even the og#also the greeks have some very bad history w SA. bc of the way they treated women#like have you ever actually read about the greek gods? they SA people all the time#and that's what i like to see ppl shit on them for#idk if i said that right#i like to see people shitting on them for that while still knowing that they're very deep characters#w interesting stories that were made in a time where that kind of stuff was normalized#this also goes for the “u can't like the greek gods bc they've SAd women!” ppl#i don't like them as PEOPLE buddy#i like them as characters bc they are fictional and interesting and fucking ANCIENT#did i said fictional already?#anyway. it is 2024 cut it out w the greek god hate#greek mythology#Greek gods#the olympians#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#rrverse#avis' post
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hestiasroom · 7 months
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"diversity of thought" in the lgbt/black/insert minority here community
I literally hate this phrase.
I totally get the intention behind it. In online spaces, certain communities are assumed (key word: assumed) to be left-wing 9 times out of 10.
So because people only encounter one iteration of gayness/blackness/insert minority-ness online, they feel the need to demand proof that people with XYZ label are capable of thinking differently.
But that's exactly what drives me bonkers about it.
Why do black people, or gay people etc. have to prove to the outside world that we are a community that by default will include people with different opinions? Like, any time you get two humans together in a room, you have diversity of thought. Why does this need to be displayed to outsiders like some kind of circus act for you to believe it?
No one goes up to white people and ask them to "prove" that they think differently from one another. No one asks Christians to prove that they aren't all a hive mind.
Basically, communities that are respected in the mainstream don't have the frankly dehumanizing assumption applied to them that they MUST be a hive mind until proven otherwise.
I don't care what the fuck you saw online. Understanding that blacks, gays, etc. are humans should be enough to show that we think differently, that we are individuals.
I really hope that what I'm frustrated about here comes across clearly.
It just drives me crazy to see this, because the people doing it don't even realize the necessary step of dehumanization that they had to take in order to seriously believe some iteration of "XYZ people must all think the same unless I see direct evidence against it." like just stop you are dumb. Black people (just as an example of what I mean) don't need to prove to anyone that we aren't a monolith. We never were one, no matter how much Candace Owens insists that we're all trapped on some "democrat plantation" incapable of thinking past the next welfare handout together. Even if the next 10 black people that you spoke too all voted democrat, you STILL wouldn't have a hive mind, and diversity of thought would still be present, because that would have still been 10 individual black people with their own thoughts and worldviews. Consider that maybe she just tells you what you want to hear?
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ccaptain · 2 years
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let me assign you a love language
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a knife called grief.
   you have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? you can run but not without them. you want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything. you want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. you want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which haven’t been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. because you know you’d do that for them.
#read me like a book; will you? ━ (headcanons)#mmmm this hits so fuckign. hard. thank you#haven't had one of these quizzes give me feels like this one bc yeah this is how kaeya loves#he wants love raw. with both people exposed to the very core while he struggles to do it. he wants his lover to see him struggling#and appreciate it. because it's so difficult for him to do that that when he does its like seeing an unique flower bloom#he'll also appreciate the fuck out of his partner for opening up to him! mutual opening and comforting and healing!#kaeya can be the best lover you ever had in terms of patience and love. on the other hand...#refuse to see his efforts to open up? close up to him? treat him like garbage and abandon him? you're in for a FUN time#and by fun time i mean an absolute loss of love from his part to endure the betrayal :)#knowing that he isn't worthy of love if he opens up. the other person loves the façade. the strong charming person he pretends to be#and... kaeya can't really keep the entire jig up for long. he wants to relax and be himself and leaving when he tries to do that... mmm#nukes the entire trust that was built. if kaeya had any love for you once you do that? it's gone. you're most likely not getting it back#or getting back a severely skewered version of it when he keeps you around to not get lonely. which is payback for leaving him#but get him to open up? treat him with patience and love? then he fucking BLOSSOMS#punches the desk in tears and leaves the dashboard to go cry somewhere
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Why am I flipping tf out over my roommate going into my room when I wasn't home and leaving a package on my bed it's literally not a big deal and they were trying to be helpful but I am shaking right now I should be happy I got my new favorite shirt but I'm so angry
#Like genuinely seething with rage over something so innocuous I shouldn't be angry#But at the same time I'm like...#The door was shut. When did I ever say you could come in here (I didn't). I wasn't home. Don't touch my stuff. You could have left it#Outside the door. My room is a mess and they saw. AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF#I feel like I shouldn't have to sit them down and be like 'hey I don't want you going in my room when I didn't say you could go in there'#Like I feel like that's common sense when u live with other people but I guess not?????#Like it really bothers me cuz I'd NEVER go into someone's room when they weren't there w/o express permission#Fucks sake I linger outside the doorway til they say I can come in when they are there and we're talking#I feel like that's just basic decency because it's their space#Why can't you respect mine and not go in my room when you don't have permission?????#At least text me first????!#THE DOOR WAS SHUT THATS WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME#THE DOOR WAS SHUT WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AT A CLOSED DOOR TO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM AND JUST WALK IN WITHOUT EVER ASKING#Sorry. I know I'm being super irrational right now#I just. My mom used to go through my stuff when I lived at home and throw out whatever she wanted#She would wait until I left the house and then throw things out and leave the rest in a giant pile of trash on the floor#It was always when I was having a decent day too. She'd treat me totally normally the whole way home and then I'd walk into my room to it#Absolutely destroyed and her response was always a cool 'well you should have cleaned it then'#I used to have to dig through the garbage to get the stuff I had attachments to back#She once threw out an entire shoebox filled with my drawings because it was 'too messy' but literally the lid was slightly askew from being#Overfilled. Instead of getting me a bigger container or another shoebox she just fucking tossed it#I lost so much childhood art from that it's part of the reason I refuse to throw anything I've ever drawn away#Anyway this is why I'm overreacting and being irrational and not letting people walk all over me with no complaints#Don't worry though I'm working on squishing any other reservations I have about being a doormat#That way in a couple more years I'll just be a shell of a person and then people will finally like having me around#AJDGDHDHDBMSBDGDJDHDBDMDBDBDN#Grumble grumble
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chl3borzoi · 1 year
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Well SHIT, got my taxes done finally, and called back everyone that left me a message. All my adult shit is done, so hopefully I can have a good 3 day midweek weekend :'v
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prettyflyforawhitelie · 2 months
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Hi I love your work so far, do you think you could do headcannons for all the different characters of the main Hazbin Hotel cast when their lover comes to them injured? Like how they would treat you and then how they would deal with the person who harmed you. I would love to see this ahhhh 😫
Ahh of course! I love this, thanks for the request! I hope you like it!
Trope: Hazbin Hotel x Injured!reader
Characters: Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie, Angeldust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Lucifer
Warnings: Physical violence, mention of death, injured reader, blood.
author's note: hey guys! this is my first time doing one of these, and I'm still getting better, so forgive me if its a bit shabby. If you have any requests, feel free to send them in! I'm in a creative buzz rn lol. Enjoy!
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🦌📻Alastor📻🦌:
The day that your attacker decides to hurt you is the day that they decide to die. Messing with the Radio Demon’s plaything is about the last thing you want to do. 
Alastor often sent his shadows to follow you into town when he couldnt be with you, so the second you were attacked, Alastor could sense that something was wrong. 
By the time his shadows had carried you back to the hotel, your attacker had already escaped, but luckily, his shadows saw everything.
When he rushed down to see you, he seemed rather indifferent at first. He carried you up to his room, immediately conjuring several healing ointments to heal you quickly.
He laid you in his bed, in which you almost immediately fell asleep.
He hears the whispers of his shadows, and gains all of the information he needs out of them. 
With a single snap of his finger, the issue was taken care of. Rumor has it that the screams of your attackers' seemingly “random” death could be heard about 3 rings down. 
While waiting for you to wake, Alastor conjures two steaming bowls of his mother’s jambalaya. Placing one on the side table next to you, he sits down next to your sleeping body and lightly grazes your head, singing soothing songs until you wake up.  
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😈🗝️Charlie🗝️😈:
Would of course be so very angry at whoever did this, but her first priority would be healing you up and making sure that you’re absolutely 100% okay and comfortable. 
Would set you up in her bed and assure that you have anything at all that would make you feel more comfortable. Tea? Yup. Ice pack? Already got it. Cuddles? Of course!
Would definitely let you cuddle with Razzle and Dazzle for as long as you needed.
She would try her best to talk to you and figure out what happened - to figure out who did this to you.
As you told her, she seemed surprisingly… calm? She simply thanked you for telling her and left the room. 
Though Charlie doesn't seem like a particularly violent person… She can get protective over the people she loves. So, let's just say she got that issue taken care of real quick. How stupid to mess with the Morningstar family. 
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🪽⚔️Vaggie⚔️🪽:
Anybody in her vicinity needs to watch out when she hears that her love is hurt. 
Like, seriously, heads will roll. But not before she checks on you to evaluate how badly she needs to fuck up the person who did this to you. 
When she sees you, bruised and bloody, she can't help but hold you so tight and cry, scolding you for getting yourself into a bad situation without her there to protect you.
Vaggie knows what it feels like to be beaten and dumped on the side of the street like garbage. She could never forgive herself if she allowed that to happen to anybody else, let alone the genuine love of her life. 
When she asks for the person who did this, you can only give her a vague description. That’s alright though, she will use her former exterminator skills to scan all of Hell and find the person who dared to do this to you. She will not leave this alone until she serves you justice. 
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🕷️💖Angeldust💖🕷️:
Coming home from the studio to find you in his room, crying and bruised, he immediately drops whatever he’s doing and comforts you in the biggest hug ever. 
Angel has plenty of experience with being abused and left to fend for himself, so he doesn't immediately resort to asking questions. No, that’s not what you need right now. You just need to know that you’re loved, beautiful, and that this does nothing to affect your worth or value as a person.
He carries you from the floor to his bed, covering you in blankets and laying next to you with Fat Nuggets. 
“It’s okay baby. You can cry, it's okay.” he whispers as you sob into his chest.
He allows you to initiate the conversation of what happened, not wanting to push you past your limits. 
Once he finds out what happened, he knows what he has to do. He waits until you fall asleep, and heads down to the club where your attacker happens to frequent. For once, being a famous pornstar will actually serve in his favor. He tempts your attacker to follow him, and immediately beats him to an absolute pulp. 
He allows the person to live, saying “I am only letting you live so you can know how it feels. You ever try this shit again, and I will find you. Except that time, you wont leave here looking so… whole.”
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♥️♦️Husk♦️♥️:
Husk is used to all the residents of the hotel bitching and moaning to him about all of their issues. With Charlie coming to him and oftentimes crying about the many failures of the hotel, tears were no foreign sight to him.
But coming from the kitchen to the bar and seeing you there, looking an absolute mess, was different. 
“What the-What the fuck happened?” he yells. When you flinch, he knows that something happened.
When you explain to him what happened, he immediately needs a description of the attacker. He takes possibly the largest shot you've ever seen and storms out of the hotel.
He wishes that he could do more to protect you. Back when he was an overlord, he had power beyond anybody's imagination. He could've snapped a finger and your attacker would simply disintegrate (but not before he tortured him a bit first). But now that Alastor owned his soul, his powers were limited. 
You know what wasn't limited on husk, though? His pure physical strength.  
He immediately finds the guy walking on the street adjacent to the hotel (dumb, right?) and absolutely obliterates him. 
As the attacker is begging for his life, he just keeps hitting, blind with rage and love for you.
When he wants back into the hotel bloody and exasperated, he sits in the stool next to you and wraps you with one of his wings. 
“It’s all okay now. I’m here” he says as you lean on his shoulder, so ready to go to bed. 
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🐍⚙️Sir Pentious⚙️🐍:
Sir Pentious always loved coming to your room to show you his many zany inventions. Normally you welcome him in with open arms, a sweet smile on your face, but today was different.
When he knocked on your door, he was met with absolute silence, which isn't normal for you. When he listened a bit closer, though, he could hear your small sniffles. He trusted his gut and slowly opened the door, fully ready to be denied entry.
Instead, you looked at him shyly, turning away and crying. He could've sworn that he saw a… black eye?
He took this opportunity to come and sit next to you on your floor, placing his arm around you and letting you lean your head on his shoulder. 
When he noticed that you were calming down a bit, he asked you what was wrong.
You explained that while you were engaged in a turf war, some ruffian beat you up, and badly. The girl you had momentarily teamed up with had left you behind, and you were left to trek back to the hotel on your own, barely able to walk. 
You could see something change in his eyes. 
He curled his tail around you, his cool skin calming your nerves. He assured you that he was here now, and nothing like this would ever happen to you again. He then swiftly called his egg bois to entertain and comfort you while he prepared his airship. The idiot that did this to you was going to pay, and not just in turf.
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😈🐣Lucifer🐣😈:
Bursting into Lucifer’s room, the only thing you could mutter is “Help” as you fell into his arms. 
He frantically carried you to a chair and tried to assess your injuries. Man, someone fucked you up, and badly. Too bad he would kill them before they could brag about their success. 
He rushed to find ANYTHING that could help you. Bandages, ice, your favorite food, a rubber duck, ANYTHING. 
When he finds you absolutely passed out asleep in the chair, he gently moves you to his bed and tries his best not to stir you. 
As he sits watching you, thinking of your beautiful smile (and how he’ll brutally kill the person who did this to you), he observes your features with great detail. 
When you wake up, you smile. Lucifer must have gone, but sitting on your table is a bowl of soup and… is that a rubber duck that looks like you?
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roanniom · 1 year
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feeling absolutely unhinged tn just wanna be eddie’s little HOUSEWIFE more than i wanna BREATHE
Come Home
Mechanic!Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, PIV sex / unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), titty fucking, recreational drug use and alcohol consumption, dirty talk
It’s a role playing thing more than anything else. You are a teacher and, as such, are very busy and a far cry from a stay-at-home anything. Hell, you’re not even married to the man.
But ever since you and Eddie had moved into the little third floor walk up in what could laughingly be called Downtown Hawkins (really just the overgrown main street), Eddie had been jokingly calling you his little housewife. It’s a title that sends shivers down your spine and a smile spreading across your face any time he utters it. And he does so jokingly, of course. You know how much Eddie respects your ambition and your hard work, so you’ve never had to worry that he truly wanted to see you barefoot and pregnant, stuck in the kitchen for the rest of your days.
But some days that idea is way more appealing than you’d like to admit.
On this day in particularly, you find yourself fantasizing about it more than normal. In the morning you’d woken up earlier than usual, roused by the loud thunk of a garbage man tossing a can recklessly back into place. Unable to go back to sleep, you’d extricated yourself from Eddie’s arms and tiptoed into the kitchen where you’d whipped up a batch of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and fresh coffee. Way more than your usual weekday toast or cereal, mainly because you wanted to give your tired brain something to focus on in order to wake up more fully before work.
Eddie had stumbled into the kitchen, stretching and in his mechanic coveralls, with a massive grin on his face.
“What has my little housewife been up to this morning?!” His voice had bellowed through the small space and you’d dropped the spatula in order to walk over to him.
“Thought my big strong man could use a hearty breakfast before he has to go to work for the day,” you’d said with a humorous lilt, wrapping your arms around his neck just as his hands come to rest on your waist, pulling your body to his. Your words and actions made his grin grow even bigger.
“You’re so beyond good to me, you know that? What’d I ever do to deserve a babe like you, huh?” he’d asked, sliding his hands down and around to squeeze your ass. You’d squealed and pushed yourself further into his body.
“You treat me right in the bedroom, so I treat you right in the kitchen. Those are the rules.” You’d said it primly it as if reciting a gospel. He’d laughed and shoved his face into your neck, peppering kisses against your throat and cleavage till you’d screamed about not wanting to burn the last batch of pancakes.
The two of you had sat together at your shitty linoleum dinette set eating breakfast way too fancy for a Thursday. Eddie had insisted on pulling his chair right up against yours and keeping his hand on your thigh even while he devoured forkfuls of eggs and pancakes with abandon.
By the time you were driving home from work, however, the phantom feeling of the weight of his hand on your thigh from the morning still hadn’t dissipated. It had been a half day, allowing the students to leave early in order to theoretically study for finals (but you heard tell of a bonfire that was going to be happening down by the lake so you held no delusions that the free time would be utilized by any for actual academic purposes). So this meant you were going to be home way ahead of Eddie today.
Your first thought upon waking through the front door is that you should masturbate. You’d been feeling so confined by your clothes all day and had been feeling needy since you’d kissed your boyfriend good bye on your way out the door.
So you march right into your shared bedroom, strip down to your sensible underwear, light a candle, and lay across your bed. You hadn’t had to get yourself off in a good long while. Eddie kept you good and satisfied, the insatiable man that he is. You do your best to get in the right mindset, breathing deeply running your hands along your body.
You catch a glimpse of yourself, however, in the mirror across the room and you frown. Maybe your underwear is too sensible. Gliding to your dresser you dig in one of your drawers and pull out the lingerie you’d been planning on surprising Eddie with on his birthday. It’s lacy and see through and your heart rate kicks up just at the thought of the way you know his jaw will drop and his eyes will widen at the sight of you.
Once your curves are encased in the fine fabric, you lay down on the bed once more. Hands slide up to you with your nipples through the fabric and you sigh. It feels good. Not as good as it would if it was Eddie touching you…but good.
You roll onto your stomach and look at the clock. 2:00 pm.
Fuck.
Eddie wouldn’t be home for hours. The injustice of that fact makes you pout and roll petulantly back over onto your other side. This new position gives you a straight line of sight to Eddie’s old black lunch pail and you perk up. This might be your best bet to loosening up and finding pleasure on your own. 
~*~
It’s 2:45pm when the shop phone rings. Eddie doesn’t look up from the car that he’s working on, instead ducking his head further under the hood and squinting at the engine that’s been giving him a hard time. 
“Eds! It’s your girl calling!” 
Eddie stands up straight so fast he bangs his head hard on the underside of the hood. 
“Motherfuck,” he mutters to himself, rubbing a grease-stained hand on the part of his head that was sure to soon form a bump. He makes his way over to the little office of the mechanic shop and takes the phone from his uncle’s outstretched hand with an appreciative nod. 
“Baby? What’s up? Is everything okay?” Eddie’s apprehension is clear. You never call him at work. Not because you don’t want to but because your days are usually both so busy there’s barely any chance to do so. 
“Eddie!” you cry out over the phone, your voice high and bright. “I miss you. Come home.”
Eddie’s a bit startled by your demand, immediately checking his watch. Just as he thought, it’s still really early in the afternoon. 
“Why are you home so early? Are you sick?” His heart starts thudding over the possibilities when he hears your musical laugh. 
“No it’s a half day at work, silly. Remember?” 
Eddie shakes away his fears and laughs along. 
“Oh sorry sweetheart, completely forgot.” He tosses a glance back into the shop at all the cars he still has to get to. “Must be nice. Getting into any trouble with your free time?”
He asks the question lightly. Joking. Fully expecting you to say you’re about to go grocery shopping or you’re watching a shitty movie on tv or reading one of your paper backs. But then you mumble.
“Well...maybe just a little.”
Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and a huff of a chuckle escapes his lips. 
“Oh yeah? What’s my girl up to, huh?”
There’s the rustle of fabric over the line and then your voice is low. 
“I’ve needed you since you left this morning Eddie. Can’t take care of myself as good as you can,” you say, practically moping. Eddie’s stomach flips and he slams his back against the wall next to the phone, making sure he can no longer be seen in the doorway from the shop. 
“Oh fuck, sweetheart are you...are you touching yourself?”
“I was trying to. It’s getting a little easier now that the edible is kicking in,” you say, sounding far off for a second like you’re thinking real hard about it.
“Now that the…” Eddie’s face splits in a massive grin and he rubs a hand over his eye. “So you’re telling me you’re high right now?”
“It’s kicking in, yeah,” you whisper cheekily and he can guess you’re smiling.
“So you mean to tell me that you’re high…and horny…and calling - begging - for me to come home and fuck you?” Eddie closes his eyes and squeezes the phone cord so tightly that he’d worry it would snap if he actually gave a fuck. His low, almost growling words cause you to moan over the phone and his knees go weak.
“Yes, Eddie. Need you so bad. Can you come take care of me? Please?”
Eddie doesn’t reply, not directly to you. Instead he turns toward the shop and cries out, loud enough that you hear it and descend into giggles.
“Uncle Wayne, I’ve gotta go. Gotta…take care of something at home!”
~*~
When Eddie thunders up the stairs to your shared apartment, he doesn’t know that you can hear him coming from inside. You laugh at the way you can hear his enthusiasm in his rapid steps and adjust yourself, waiting for him to reach the door.
When you hear him step onto the welcome mat you wrench the door open and lean against the frame dramatically. Just on cue, Eddie’s jaw drops to the floor.
“Welcome home, baby,” you coo handing over the glass of whiskey you have in one hand. His eyes are so fixed on your lingerie that he barely notices what you were holding in the other hand until you busy yourself with it.
You bring one of his pre-rolled joints up to your lips and light it with his favorite lighter, puffing a bit to bring the burning end to life. The lap of Eddie’s mechanic coveralls immediately tightens as he watches your plush lips work around the joint.
“Fucking Christ…” Eddie mutters to himself before knocking back the entire glass of whiskey in one go. You pull the joint from your lips to laugh at his reaction, squealing when he slams the door and grabs you around the waist, dragging you into the apartment. “Where have you been all my life?”
You giggle and bring the joint up to his lips, delighted when he takes a grateful drag. 
“I’ve literally been right next to you your whole life,” you respond, referring to the friendship you’d shared since grade school, long before you both admitted your feelings for one another. 
“Well fucking stay right next to me, okay?” Eddie gruffly asks, burying his face in your neck. You hum your approval and wrap yourself around his tall, lanky frame. 
“That depends.”
“Oh? On what?”
“Can you fuck me now?” you ask breathlessly. Eddie pulls back to look at you, laughing, but you’re not joking.
“Of course, baby. But I just got in the door. Let me shower and - ,”
“No!” you say petulantly, holding onto him as he tries to step out of your grasp. “I want you like this.”
You begin kissing up his neck and he attempts to extricate himself. 
“Sweetheart, I’m covered in grease and sweat...” Eddie shakes his head but you’re nodding so profusely he stops in his tracks. 
“’s what I’ve been fantasizing about all day,” you clarify, biting your lip and looking up at him through dropping eyelashes. Eddie’s cock hardens that much more and soon you’re pressed up against the closed door to your shared bedroom, his thigh fitted between yours in a way that has you panting.
When Eddie finally pulls away from the act of devouring your mouth, you sag against the door to catch your breath, watching as he pulls from the joint that he must have miraculously continued to hold onto as you’d made out. He looks like sex on a stick as he stands there, propped up by the arm against the door beside you, joint between his lips, tousled hair sticking up in every direction from the impatience of your hands. His coveralls have been zipped open and pushed askew by those same impatient hands and he smiles under your scrutiny. 
“What brought this...enthusiasm on, babe?” he asks lowly. “Not that I’m complaining of course.” 
You wriggle under his gaze. A little embarrassed, but also wholly aware that it’s Eddie. Your Eddie. So you’re honest. 
“Wanna be your little housewife,” you admit shyly. His features crumple for a split second as he is entirely unable to handle how fucking adorable you are. But just as quickly he’s grinning. 
“Of course you do,” he says confidently. He places the joint back between his lips and presses his thumb against the plush of your lower lip. The tip of your tongue darts out automatically to lick at the pad of his thumb and Eddie’s breath catches. Your pupils are blown wide. You’re properly horny (and properly stoned) and a deep seeded desire to care for you bubbles in his abdomen. “Can you get on the bed for me, princess?”
Like a gentleman, he opens the door you’d been pressed against and bows you inside. You do as you’re told and immediately drop down onto the mattress, looking up at him expectantly like a puppy who is awaiting further trick instruction. Eddie wants to laugh, but his dick also twitches impatiently in his coveralls, reminding him action is probably the best next course. 
“Undress me?” he asks as the next part of his plan. You get up on your knees on the bed and drag him to you by the fabric of his coveralls. Tongue placed between teeth, you stare him in the eyes as you zip him down all the way, pushing the sleeves over and off his shoulders. The garment drops to gather at his hips where it tented at the crotch, catching on his hard dick. You whimper and reach for it but Eddie grabs your arms and winds them around his neck, pulling you in for a kiss.
When he pulls back, he has a smirk on his lips.
"Alright. Time for a shower."
Your brows knit together immediately in betrayal and your arms tighten around him, trying to keep him grounded against you.
"But I - !"
Eddie shushes you and steps out of his coveralls. His boxer-covered dick prods insistently against you and it makes you whine more, rubbing into it as much as you can. But Eddie's having none of it. He pulls you off the bed, dragging you alongside him on his way to the bathroom.
"Shhh, sweetheart. You're gonna help clean me up. That's what a good housewife would do, yeah?" He comes to a stop in front of the sink, leaning you against the counter so he can pull back the shower curtain and turn on the water. You brighten up a little at his words.
"Yeah..." you agree tentatively. Eddie rewards you with a massive grin and before he can stall any longer, you strip down his boxers and nudge him into the shower. You tear off your lingerie and step in behind him as fast as you can, pushing your way into his waiting, dripping arms.
"There's my baby," he coos. The longer the two of you stand in warm embrace beneath the steaming shower head, the more his erection flags into a contented, semi-hard state, however, and you aren't having any of that. So you are the one who pulls away and gets to work.
You clean your man. Well.
Soap up and down the length of his body. Shampoo in his hair - which you can only access efficiently once he leans down to help you reach. He hums and groans as you massage the shampoo and then the conditioner into his scalp and the sound makes your entire body sing. There's so much intimacy in the act, and if you weren't so turned on that every nerve in your body felt like a live wire, you probably would have enjoyed it more. Once he's started rinsing off, however, you attend to your favorite part. Running your hands up and down his abdomen and tugging at his cock without preamble.
"Baby..." Eddie reprimands, his eyes closed against the spray of water as he rinses conditioner out of his sopping curls. He doesn't open his eyes or move to stop you so you take that as your cue to continue. You get him nice and hard again, aided by the shower water and saliva that you spit into your hand.
"Sweetheart," Eddie tries again, chuckling this time and grabbing at your wrist. "I'm supposed to be getting clean."
"I don't care," you answer petulantly. "You've kept me waiting."
Eddie's laugh is full-bellied this time. He turns the water off and slaps your ass lightly, stepping around you to get out of the shower.
"I know, baby, and that was cruel. Why don't you get dried up and put on another one of those little get ups for me. I'll get us another drink and we'll do whatever you want, okay?"
You fight the urge to groan in frustration that you're being made to wait yet again, but a good housewife wouldn't do that. So you nod and wrap yourself in the towel he offers you, bouncing back to the bedroom on impatient feet.
~*~
Eddie had gotten the upper hand on you, that much he knew. Making you wait had been cruel, but he knew it was better then getting you - and the bedroom - all covered in grease. He makes a mental note, however, to fuck you on his work counter at the garage one evening next week after closing time when Wayne was out of town. He's nothing if not attentive to your wants and needs.
He whistles as he walks back to the room, a glass of water and two cold bottles of beer in hand. He's expecting you to be waiting patiently - maybe even already at the door. But he stops short the minute he sees you.
You're spread out on the bed in a different lingerie set, this one somehow even sexier than the last (the second part of the birthday present you're giving him early) and he feels his entire body flush a deep red. You watch it spread down his neck and chest and rub your thighs together.
"Eddieeee," you call out, letting the second syllable become a whine. You might still be begging, but you're the one in power now, as far as Eddie is concerned, as he moves on autopilot towards you. You get up onto your knees and accept the bottle of beer from him, wrapping your lips around it lasciviously. Eddie chokes as he takes his own sip.
"Can I have it?" you ask, gazing up at him from beneath your eyelashes. Eddie swallows thickly.
"Can you have what, princess?" he asks. He knows what you want. He's just a teasing asshole and needs you to say it.
But you are tired of playing the game so you don't play fair. Instead of answering him you pull at the towel tied around his waist till it falls to the floor, exposing an erection so proud your mouth positively waters. You make eye contact as you reach for it, practically daring him to get in the way of what you want again. But Eddie's resolve is completely gone at this point, and he lets you have it, letting his eyes fall closed at the sensation of your hand wrapping around him.
You tug at him. You let your thumb ease over the thick vein that you so enjoy licking. You flick your wrist when your fist encases his mushroom head, coaxing a bead of precum out the slit just as you'd hoped.
Eddie takes one final swig of his beer before grabbing your bottle from you and placing both it and his on the night stand. You whine when the motion pulls his cock out of your grasp, but you’re placated when he climbs onto the bed and grabs you by the thighs, pulling you roughly under him.
“How do you want it, baby?” He asks, kissing a trail down your neck from your ear to your clavicle. “What’s my girl been fantasizing about in that little head of yours?”
A tiny half sober part of your brain finds humor in the phrasing of the question. You happen to know Eddie finds you to be the smartest person he’s ever met, so the diminutive nature of his words tickles the part of you that longed for role play like this. Tired of being the smart girl, the serious girl, the strong girl, right now you just want to be this. Eddie’s girl.
“I just want to make you feel good,” you coo. You can see the conflict play out behind his eyes at your response. On one hand he’s so fucking turned on by you wanting to please him. Like he can’t fucking stand how turned on he is. But he also gets off on you getting off, so he’s not sure how to proceed.
And you know this. You know your Eddie is the most selfless, generous lover you’ve ever had and you know that it must kill him to think of putting his pleasure first. But you furrow your brow and give him the biggest puppy dog eyes possible in an attempt to telegraph the fact that you need him to play along. That him taking what he wants will be giving you everything you need.
It’s clear the moment this clicks in his mind because Eddie’s features go soft. He rubs a knuckle lightly against your temple and smiles.
“Of course my baby wants to make me feel good." The kiss he places to your forehead and then the tip of your nose makes your eyes slide closed. So it's soft he wants, you think to yourself. Your heart rattling around in your ribcage doesn't exactly feel ready to slow down enough to match a soft tempo, but you'll work with what he wants to give you.
At least that's what you're thinking when suddenly you feel the bed shifting away from you and your world upended when Eddie flips you over onto your hands and knees. You scramble for purchase against the sheets and yelp in surprise, but you don't even have a second to get situated before Eddie is dragging you back against him by your hips.
"Gonna do so good for me, aren't you baby?" Eddie asks, deep and low from behind you. His voice makes you shiver, as does his hand which slides from between your shoulder blades, down the line of your spine, ultimately delivering a light slap that has your ass bouncing. He groans at the visual of his own making, gripping your hips with two hands again. "Fuck that's the ticket right there, huh?"
"Let me be good for you - oh!" You start off trying to incite him to finally do something but break off in a gasp when his cock begins sliding through your pussy lips, getting your slick all over his hardened length. The tip prods your clit and you buckle inward, so turned on and edged from the events of the last few hours. Eddie laughs and the sound goes straight to your core.
"My little wife that sensitive? Worked yourself up so much for me, huh sweetheart?"
The whimpering inhale to take in in response to that statement makes his cock pulse.
"Need you, Eddie," you whisper. Eddie hums behind you before pushing at your hip to flip you over once again. You're more disoriented this time, even more so when Eddie moves from his place between your thighs in order to straddle your stomach.
You gaze at him above you from your new position on your back and...fuck it is glorious. You try to make grabby hands at him but he ignores you, leaning over instead to the nightstand where you'd left his other pre-rolled joint. He lights it and resituates himself over you, taking a deep drag and dropping his head back as he holds the smoke deep in his lungs while stroking his cock over you with his free hand.
"Jesus Christ..." you mutter to yourself at the debaucherous image above you. You lift up onto your elbows to get closer and he rolls his head back toward you, opening his eyes half mast to blow smoke in your direction. When the cloud clears you see his lazy grin, red-rimmed eyes sweeping up and down your figure.
"This do it for ya?" he asks, playfully. You nod forcefully, unable to take your eyes off the head of his angry red cock disappearing and reappearing in his fist. The slide is loud and fast and wet. Wet from your own slick, your realize with a lurch of your stomach. Fuck you want him inside you. Reaching out a hand towards him, you tear your gaze away from his dick and bring it back up to his overly amused face.
"Can I help?" you ask, way too innocently for the context of the situation. Eddie pretends to mull it over, joint elevated in his free hand as his tongue slides over his teeth.
"Yeah, I think there's something you can do..." he says vaguely. You're unsure of the implications until he moves forward, pushing the straps of your lingerie off your arms, and it is suddenly abundantly clear what he is angling for - and you couldn't be more excited.
As Eddie brings the underside of his cock to rest against your sternum, you lift your breasts up on either side to sandwich his length between. Eddie watches you from above, his grin indicating how proud he is that you're playing along so quickly.
"There you go, that's perfect. Now could you just - oh fuck." Without him even having to complete the request, you spit on his cock, adding to the wetness still present from your slick, reaching up and spreading it over his erection in a way that has him biting his lip in seconds. "Look at you, knowing just what I need."
You smile up at him and push your breasts together again, moving slightly to let him feel the drag of your plush skin against him. Eddie places the joint back between his lips and leans forward to grip your shoulders for leverage. This allows him to fuck his hips back and forth, creating the friction he was seeking.
Though this act doesn't directly stimulate any of your erogenous zones specifically, the sounds it pulls from his lips and the look on his crumpled face as he watches what you're letting him do to you - it's got your pussy practically weeping.
"You're so fucking hot, princess," Eddie says around the joint before taking one last long hit and reaching over to stamp it out in the ashtray on the bedside table. With both his hands free, he returns to you with renewed attention, dropping his palms to circle lightly over your nipples. Your eyes widen at the stimulation and Eddie grins. "Like it when I fuck your tits?"
"Yes," you breathe out in response immediately.
Eddie pinches your nipples as a reward and your hips stutter upwards into nothing behind him. Eddie laughs and begins thrusting a bit harder, wrapping his big hands around your smaller ones to help crush your tits even tighter around his cock.
"Fuckin' yeah you do. My perfect girl. Oh shit, just look at you," he practically grunts. You stare heart eyes up at him, watching him take pleasure from your flesh in the most selfish way while still somehow making you feel like you're god's gift to earth. The image of him - eyes blown black and lips red and swollen from biting as his cock moves in the valley of your breasts - has you letting out an unfiltered moan. Eddie's brow twists in mock sympathy. "Need something, princess?"
Your hips buck again and Eddie chuckles, reaching a hand behind himself and down between your legs to play with you where you need him most. He jaw drops at the feeling of your excessive arousal.
"Fuck, sweetheart, you're soaked. I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" he frowns down at you in faux commiseration. You shake your head but your eyelids flutter at the feeling of his fingers against your clit.
"No this is - oh. This is about y-you," you respond, squeezing your breasts tighter to try and get him to fuck them faster. Eddie ignores your statement and instead sinks a two fingers into your heat. Your body tightens and your eyes slam shut. The feeling of his fingers inside you and his thumb on your clit have you neglecting your goal and after a few minutes your hands drop entirely from your breasts in favor of fisting the sheets. Eddie's dick slides up and down your slicked sternum along to the rocking of your body. Watching it rub against your wet skin, watching your tits bounce freely while your cunt squelches loudly around the in and out motions of his fingers - it all has Eddie feeling higher than any strain ever could.
After a few minutes more of the best show Eddie's ever seen in his life, he eases his fingers out of you and brings them to your lips, pulling the bottom one out from between your teeth. The action has you opening your dazed eyes to peer up at him, breathless.
"Let's take care of that pretty pussy now, alright?" Eddie prompts, easing himself back to sit on the bed between your legs. You seize the moment, however, and disentangle yourself from him, dropping down to take his cock in your mouth. Eddie's hands immediately find your hair and he chokes on air. "Hey, hey, stop that, I said we're taking care of you."
"This is what I want," you try to say, but your mouth is a little preoccupied with his cock. You run your tongue up the vein you love so much. You let his fat tip tap the back of your throat, gagging eagerly when you feel his hips press forward just that tiny bit more as he loses himself in the feeling of you.
It's messy. Absolutely filthy, exactly how you like it. Exactly how you know he likes it. With your hands on his balls and elbows and knees digging into the mattress, you arch your back and make sure your ass sticks up that much more with each bob of your head. Eddie certainly takes note. You know because eventually his hand slides back to get a big handful of one of your cheeks before raining down a slap on your backside that has you slamming forward and choking on his length even more. Your eyes water and your throat burns. The guttural moan he lets out in response, however, is priceless.
You're more than a little disappointed when he pulls you off of him finally, holding you back with his hands under your arms like you're a child he doesn't trust to behave correctly.
"Now are you going to let me fuck you or not?" he asks, his voice absurdly tired as if he's suffered some great inconvenience.
You feel inhibition-less, both from your nice high and the result of being absolutely cock drunk at this point, so you giggle and draw a line down from his jaw, over his neck and clavicle, and down to circle one of his nipples.
"You've already fucked me," you tease with a voice hoarse from his dick. You lean forward in spite of his hold on you and lick a stripe from peck to peck, kitten licking his other nipple and up the expanse of his tattoo. "In two different ways, actually."
Eddie, now fully riled up and aching, has had enough of your teasing (though to be fair he's done much worse to you so far today). He pulls you back into sitting position and grips your jaw lightly to force your roving eyes to focus on his.
"I want to fuck you properly now," he enunciates dramatically. You nod his grip and he nods along with you, trying to hide the grin growing on his lips. "What'll it be? Back or hands and knees?"
Before he's even finished asking, though, you've pulled out of his light grasp and scrambled around on the bed, dropping to your forearms and presenting your ass to him. Eddie groans, deep and low, and squeezes at your hips and waist almost too tightly. Almost. Instead you moan at the bruising feeling and wiggle your ass to beg for more.
The sight of you in front of him, primed and ready and all covered in lace has Eddie's mouth positively watering. He realizes, however, that you're still trussed up in your lingerie. The straps are down and your tits are out, and he'd moved the gusset of your panties to the side to finger you, but there are still parts of your body obscured by fabric. And that just doesn't sit right with him.
There are a few ties in the back that he attempts to fidget with, but his impatience gets the better of him after just a few moments. He grips two handfuls of the material and wrenches the body suit in two, straight down the middle.
"Eddie!" you chastise, high and loud. It ends on an incredulous laugh because, regardless of how absurd and immature the action was, it's also incredibly hot. "This was supposed to be a birthday present for you!"
"Well fuck, baby. I had to unwrap it first, jeez," Eddie laughs right back. He pulls the tattered remains of the ruined garment off, tossing it away from the bed, before grabbing you by the front of your thighs and slamming your body back against him. The two of you let out twin moans at the impact. His cock slides around in your slick for a moment, but you're no longer waiting around. You reach down and guide him inside you without any further preamble.
The stretch is still immense, regardless of the excessive foreplay. He's always been a lot to take, and your body is somehow always still shocked by his sheer size. But Eddie anticipates this, of course, so his finger is on your clit within seconds, working you through the initial ache and bringing you quickly into a throbbing, expectant pleasure.
"This pussy's been waiting for me, hasn't she," Eddie whispers right in your ear. His chest is on your back as his hips begin rolling, bringing him in and out of you.
"N-needed you for so long, Eddie," you whimper, cheek pressing into the sheets. Eddie tsks and places kisses to the base of your neck and shoulders.
"I know, baby. You've been so good, waiting for me to come home and take care of you."
“Always waiting for you to come home,” you whimper. Eddie knows it’s just part of the role play. He knows you have work and your own hobbies and friends and a life on top of the one you share with him. Realistically you aren’t sitting around at home waiting for him. But the memory of your voice so sweetly begging him on the phone and the memory of you greeting him at the door in lingerie mixes with the sensory overload he’s experiencing inside you. It makes his cock twitch and his fingers grip your waist with a bruising pressure that you love.
“I know, princess,” he hums, dropping down over you again so that his chest is to your back, hands propping him up on the mattress on either side of you. With one hand Eddie pulls your hair aside so he can pepper light kisses to the back of your neck. A stark contrast to the unforgiving, pendulous thrust of his hips.
“Maybe I should just keep you here,” he says breathlessly after a few minutes that are silent save for the wet slap of skin on skin. He feels you shudder beneath him and continues, lips catching your earlobe. “Keep you naked and wet and waiting on this bed for me at all times. Filled with my cum. Covered in it.”
You inhale sharply at his words and your lips pull into a dramatic o. Eddie feels you clench around him and is more than aware of what this is doing to you.
So of course he continues.
“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To be my pretty little thing?”
You nod your head erratically into the mattress, practically beside yourself at this point. It’s exactly what you want, at least for the purposes of this fantasy. The weight of Eddie against you and the steady way his cock pummels that sweet spot inside you has your eyes rolling back in your head as your lids drop. It has your toes curling and your brain going fuzzy, like static with an untuned radio station. Every nerve ending in your body has evaporated save for the ones between your thighs which receive all of the attention they could ever need.
“Tell me you’re mine, baby,” Eddie says abruptly. Your hazy mind struggles to comprehend his words but understanding seeps through, as does the memory that for as much as you love praise, your man feeds off it as well.
“I’m yours, Eddie Munson,” you gasp, the words twisting in a whine. His finger has found your clit again and it’s just unfair how ducking good it feels. You arch your back into the feeling, widening your legs to encourage him even deeper. The sight and your words has Eddie gritting his teeth.
“Oh fuck this,” he says suddenly, abruptly pulling out and flipping you onto your back. The sudden motion and the unwelcome emptiness has you dazed and your stare at the ceiling in confusion, blind to the way Eddie adjusts you. He lifts your hips up to slide a pillow under the small of your back, elevating you and extending your legs. In this new position the backs of your thighs meet the tops of his, your knees hooking on his hips while his knees dig into the mattress.
Hearing a shick shick shick sound that doesn’t correspond with the feeling of his dick re-entering you is both disorienting and upsetting, so you tip your chin to your chest in an effort to get a glimpse of him tugging on his slicked cock. However, that’s the exact moment that Eddie leans over you and fills your field of vision with his beautiful face.
“Sorry, princess. Needed to see your eyes while you said you were mine.” His words are so sweet, but he subverts the sweetness by choosing that exact moment to breach your entrance again.
“Oh god. Eddie - oh.” Your eyes slam shut to keep from crossing while you struggle up fathom the deliciousness of his first inward thrust. When his rhythm picks up, however, you feel his big warm palm press against your cheek before giving it a feather light tap to gain your attention.
“Eyes on me, pretty girl,” Eddie coos. You do as he says, squinting up at him to take in his massive, pleased smile. His hair is stuck to his temples, whether still wet from the shower or sweaty from exertion you’re unsure. All you are sure of is that fact that he is gorgeous. His eyes that shine down on you with so much love, the dimples that sink into his cheek to make space for his joy, his lips that move as they say your name. The whole picture has your brain screaming mine mine mine mine.
“That’s right, pretty girl, all yours,” Eddie agrees with a smirk. Your brain and drug addled brain must have caused you to speak your thoughts out loud but you can’t bring it in you to care. Not when Eddie is hoisting you up even higher against his elevated lap, causing your back to arch off the bed, your head and shoulders pressing down against the mattress for leverage as you bounce in his grasp.
“Jesus Christ, I want it. I want it, I w-want it Eddie…” You’re positively rambling now, scrabbling against the sheets for purchase. Seeking out your organs with legs that shake as the squeeze against Eddie’s narrow hips.
“And I want you. Wanna fuck you on the washing machine. Bend you over the - fuck - the kitchen counter while you wear one of those aprons and nothing else.” If you’re rambling, so is he. He’s so far gone in the fantasy at this point, so overwhelmed by everything he never thought he, the town freak, could want let alone have, in any capacity.
The gravel tone of his voice and the fucked out look on his face are what do you in ultimately. You squeeze down on his cock and cry out, wide eyes blind with pleasure and fingernails digging into any part of him you can reach.
“Oh god, oh Eddie!”
“Fucking shit, princess. You’re so tight, that’s - fuck!” Eddie has lost all intelligibility at this point. But that’s just fine by you, because you’re miles high now. Body tingling and seizing and floating, both from the weed and the strength of your climax.
You fall boneless back to the bed and register the fact that Eddie’s still teetering on the brink, every muscle tensed and shaking as he chases satisfaction. Your body is pushed higher up the bed with each of his escalating, punishing thrusts. He seems lost, and that’s what gives you the instinct to ground him.
Grabbing at his neck and shoulders, you pull Eddie down to you, causing him to catch himself on the mattress on either side of your head while you kiss him. It’s extremely one sided with his fat gone he is and with how much energy he has focused on pistoning into your soaked pussy. But it feels good nonetheless and you know it’s doing something for you to slide your tongue into his slack jawed mouth because it causes him to let out a groan from deep in his chest.
When you pull away you place your hands on both sides of his face and hold him there to make eye contact. His gaze is incredibly unfocused, and his brow is twisted in agony, but you keep the eye contact and make sure to enunciate when you speak.
“I’m yours, Eddie Munson,” you repeat the earlier sentiment, this time staring straight into his soul. Eddie’s entire body convulses then, just like clock work, and he buries his face into your neck and clings to you while hot ropes of his cum paint your walls. You hold him through it, even as his hips continue to rock. “There we go. That’s it.”
It takes him several moments to come back to earth, aided in his return only by the gentle feeling of your hands caressing his back and sliding through his hair. He hums into your neck, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin there before finally pulling back to look at you.
Your kiss swollen lips are still wet. Your eyes are much to bright and your hair is positively bedraggled. All surefire proof that you have been well and thoroughly debauched. Pride swells in his chest at the sight, but it also swells in his dick, causing it to twitch inside you in spite of softening, and you inhale sharply at the feeling. Your features settle back into a relaxed smile though and Eddie kisses beneath your eye.
“That do it for you, baby?” he asks, voice ridiculously smug. You reward him with a massive smile, but your shrug throws him.
“Yeah, but we’re just getting started handsome. We have the rest of the day. Thought you wanted to keep me in your bed, filled and covered in cum?”
A deep blush stains Eddie’s cheeks and chest as you quote the dirty talk he’d spewed in a moment of passion. But, not one to back down from a challenge, he pulls his softened cock out of you slowly, pleased by the way your smirk crumples st the loss.
“You’re right, princess,” Eddie says with a grin. He drags the reddened head of his cock up from your slit over your pubic bone and to your lower belly, sure to catch it on your clit on the way up to elicit a gasp from you. He smears the mixture of your cum and his there on your belly before leaning down and licking a stripe up through the mess that has you clenching around nothing.
When Eddie looks up to find you gazing at him with mooning eyes, he takes pity on you and leans back up for a kiss. A sweaty, salty, cum-flavored kiss that’s everything you, the freak’s lover and a freak in her own right, could ever want.
It doesn’t take long before wandering hands and massaging tongues lead you to feel something stiff digging into your hip again. You reach down and graze your fingers over his leaking tip and bite your lip.
“Make me yours again, handsome, and if I can still walk afterwards I’ll make you dinner.”
Eddie shakes his head deviously at your proposal.
“We’ll be having take out.”
You frown up at him.
“But I thought you like it when I make dinner,” you begin to argue, but then you’re crying out because Eddie sheaths himself back inside you with one thrust. Your pliant, wet, satiated body welcomes him without protest this time. Eddie grasps at your curves and nudges his nose against yours before moving.
“I do love it when you make dinner, baby. But the way I intend on fucking you, you sure as hell won’t be able to walk tonight. That’s a promise.”
And your Eddie is a man of his word.
~*~
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Hope you enjoyed ♥️
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finalgirlfailure · 2 years
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I can not believe this entire breakdown started because some random fucking weirdo guy walked past and completely ignored me to go flirt w my other coworker. I'm fucking ridiculous. This shit made me almost relapse.
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leahswife · 1 month
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two things can be true at once
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summary: the aftermath of your nights with jenni. part three of "where do we stand".
prequel, part one, part two, part three
you were speechless.
here she was, aitana, standing right in front of you, looking like she had rushed here first thing in the morning while a naked jenni was hiding in your closet.
"listen, i just want to talk, okay? i know you said i shouldn't approach you until i figured my shit out but i have. that's why i'm here." she looked slightly scared you might push her away but apart from how she looked every other time you were together, there seemed to be confidence bubbling within her now.
when you didn't answer because you were too lost in your thoughts and quite frankly, still very much in shock, she continued, "can i come in?" she asked. innocently. absolutely and irrefutably unaware of the vulgarity that had happened in that room the night before. there were still traces of it behind, jenni's clothes scattered on the floor and both of your underwear somewhere in the room.
you cleared your throat, heart pounding in your chest at the mess you found yourself in and you couldn't quite look aitana in the eye. "um, listen. my room is a mess right now, can we meet downstairs? i promise we'll talk." she gave you a smile, relieved you were open to hear her and nodded, "i'll be downstairs. at breakfast, sí?" 
you nodded in agreement and watched her walk towards the elevator before you closed the door and let out a deep breath.
fuck.
you looked over at the closet jenni was still in and walked over to it, opening it to see a naked jenni with crossed arms. 
"i don't appreciate you keeping me waiting."
"jenni, get dressed and leave."
"what? so all it takes is for aitana to show up and now you're throwing me away like garbage?" she got out of the closet, with a frown on her face directed at you.
"what? no." you fumbled with your words, "what are you talking about? i just– we're just gonna talk. and i didn't know you meant to stay?" you continued as she walked past you and started getting dressed in a haste.
she ignored you as she kept getting dressed, which just left you more confused and more nervous than you already were, "jennifer, can you answer me?" you begged. 
she finally looked up and walked over to you while putting her hair up in a bun, "you're right. i didn't. you were just a fuck." she said coldly, very different from the way she had treated you the day before. you don't know why but that felt like a stab in the stomach. "why are you talking like that?" you asked quietly, like a kid too afraid to leave their corner and face the inevitable consequences of their foolishness.
she chuckled with no emotion behind it, "that's what this was, right?" you felt yourself shrink under her fierce gaze. you thought that's what this was but after the two times you were together, you couldn't deny there was something more. 
the first time, although she claimed to have wanted to do bad things to you, she had been so gentle, always asking if it was okay to do something different, exploring your body, always listening to your sounds of approval and what you enjoyed better and what not, learning how to move with you before she got rougher.
the second time was more free, with laughter and banter in between kisses and gasps as she fucked you hard and mercilessly into the bed. and after she would lay kisses all over your body and clean you and get you water, making sure you were comfortable. you would just lay back with a smile and tease her about how you didn't know she was such a softie. 
"solo contigo." she would whisper before kissing you softly. soon, sighs and moans of pleasure would fill the room as you went back to touching each other, this time slowly and gently. 
the night ended with you both cuddling to each other for warmth, you tracing her tattoos and asking each other about past relationships. "so, is it really true you dated alexia?" you felt her chest bounce up and down with laughter and you couldn't help to let out a giggle yourself. "wow, you've been dying to ask that question, haven't you?" you looked up at her from the place you were laying on her chest and saw her amused smile, eyes glinting with something you couldn't quite decipher. 
you propped yourself on your elbow and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her answer. she squinted her eyes at you, "porque quieres saber?" you shrugged, "because i want to know if alexia really stooped that low." you laughed at her opening her mouth in fake shock, "i'm kidding, i'm kidding." you kissed her cheek when you felt her fingers prod at your sides, tickling you. "jenni, broma, broma!" you fell back onto the bed, trying to get her hands off of you. 
she finally backed off and stood on her elbow to look down at you, "did you ever date aitana?" you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "no, why do you ask?"
she shrugged, "i just think there is something between you two."
"we are nothing." you claimed but jenni gave you a knowing look. you huffed in frustration and told her everything that had happened between you two.
"sounds messy. so if she had confessed to you that night, you never would've showed up at my door?"
"no, i wouldn't have." you answered simply and honestly.
she nodded and traced her finger around your stomach, "what if she confessed now?" she asked quietly, eyes meeting yours. again, your hearts starts beating unusually fast, something that shouldn't happen in any situation with jenni but lately it has. truth was, you didn't have an answer for her right now. you've wanted aitana for so long but with her indecisiveness and pulling away had thrown you off. plus jenni came into the scene and you started exploring something that was just supposed to be fun, but laying in this bed with her, having a serious conversation after having been touched with so much care didn't feel like just fun anymore. still, how could you entertain such a thought? jenni lived in mexico, you lived in barcelona. even at national camp, you wouldn't cross each other's paths. so how could you ever work?
you shrugged and stretched, trying to seem nonchalant, "i'd ask her for a threesome with you." you joked, not wanting to ruin the mood and grabbed her hand to intertwine your fingers. she chuckled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. you noticed this little change and rolled over on top of her, locking her hands above her head, "can we not talk about aitana? you don't see me bringing up your situationships." "hm, cute you think i do those." you tilt your head at her in confusion. she didn't? then what were you? your thoughts are cut off as she sits up and kisses you softly. you immediately melt against her mouth and let go of her wrists to wrap your arms around her neck, kissing her back. 
"was that all i was to you?" your voice couldn't get any smaller if it tried to, disbelief and disappointment all over your face. jenni clenched her jaw and looked away. 
"don't take it personally, princesa." she said finally before walking past you and out the door, leaving you dumbfounded.
after having showered and getting ready, you tried your best to not fall apart at the emotions and anxiety going through you and went downstairs to the cafeteria where you saw aitana talking to keira and lucy. you walked up behind them and tugged on aitana's hair slightly, making her turn towards you.
"you wanted to talk?" 
her face lightened up at seeing you and she nodded, "sí."
"do you mind if we get a table here? i'm just really hungry and don't feel like really leaving the hotel today." you suggested quietly to her after she stood up. she looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, "pero estás bien?" you felt your throat start to close up so you just nodded and started your way to one of the free tables away from the other girls.
after you got breakfast, you sat down in front of aitana and silently slid her a plate of what you knew she liked first thing in the morning. even though she had already eaten, she thought the gesture was so sweet, she smiled and accepted the plate with a thank you.
after a few minutes of eating in silence she cleared her throat and you looked up at her, "i want to be straight with you." she started. you put down your fork and nodded at her to keep going, "i know how unfair i have been to you these last few months. how i didn't give you any certainty of what we were, of what i wanted, of how i have been pushing you away lately. i have been stupid." you chuckled at her choice of words which made her giggle a little before turning serious again.
"i thought– i didn't know how to describe what i was feeling. i only had felt this way towards boys when i was younger and even then, i wouldn't let it get as deep as it got with you. i just was always too focused on something else, studies, football, whatever. and i have been the busiest as i have ever been in my career and i thought that letting someone in that way would stray me away or distract me and–"
"aita, breathe."
"right, sorry. " she took a break to take a breath in and then continued, "and the truth is, i felt distracted. all i wanted was to be around you and have more of what you would give me and then i realized that i was excited for something else other than just football. and i got scared. i got scared i wouldn't perform as well because i didn't want to spend all of my evenings studying matches, or talk about it all the time. but then, when i didn't have any of you, it just made me miserable and that distracted me too and these weeks i've been sad and tired and playing has just got harder."
you took a good look at her and noticed the bags under her eyes that you had just assumed was because of her crazy schedule, "what i realized now is that you were a breath of fresh air, and i'm better when i am with you. you excite me and you make me want to know more about myself, and work on myself and be better and again, i was just stupid." she put both hands over her eyes and let out a sigh, "keira calls me a baby gay."
you almost choked on your juice for that, "tana, that's–" you let out a giggle, "yeah, that's about right."
"don't laugh!" she whined and you gave her a teasing smile, "let me finish." you put your hands in the air and nodded at her. "i have feelings for you and i'm not scared of them anymore." your breath hitched and your heart could really help you in this moment and beat normally for a second. this was all you wanted to hear in the last few months but now you felt trapped. how the tables have fucking turned. 
"aitana, you don't know how much i have wanted you to say that." you started and took a deep breath, "but i never knew if i would ever get that from you. and for months, i waited and waited, until i didn't anymore." you looked at her and saw her deflate in her seat, like a kicked puppy. "i'm not with anyone but it wouldn't be fair to you or me if i just ran into your arms." you said, soft and gentle.
she nodded, "i know you don't owe me anything. and of course you're free and i understand if someone has your attention too. but if you're ever ready, i'd like to.. eh.. what's the english word? court you?" she struggled and once again you couldn't help the giggle that came out of your mouth. "we're so formal now, miss bonmatí." she swatted at your shoulder as you giggled. "aita aita, i got it. i'm open to that but right now i think i just need some time for myself, okay?"
she nodded, "but can we be friends again please? because i really miss you and i promise you this time i won't kiss you unless you're ready or want to or-"
"aitanita, do you ever know how to speak in small sentences?" you teased, "but yes, we can be friends. i've missed you too." she beamed at that and scooched over the seats to hug you. you held her close and kissed the top of her head.
"but now i wanna hear all about how i was your gay awakening." you yelped as you felt her hand punch your side.
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ninyard · 2 months
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Honestly honestly the most romantic moment of the entire series is when Neil talks about how he'd never gotten to travel for fun before and the Foxes are planning to take him to the mountains, and Kevin starts to protest that they can't go on vacation but stops because Andrew is holding a knife on him 😭🥺😩 like I don't know that's just just a sweet little moment to me, Andrew threatening Kevin if he takes this little chance for happiness from Neil
Uhhhh literally Andrew “I-don’t-care” Minyard is the most romantic of ALL the foxes. My line of work revolves around intimacy and from all my training and studying let me tell you that man is a master at his craft.
Andrew’s touch is beautiful and sacred; this thing he does not take easily, or give out kindly whatsoever. Yet with Neil it’s as if he can’t stop himself. We see it in how gently he tapes the garbage bags around Neil’s injuries, wordlessly, without being asked. THAT’S intimacy. How he holds his neck to inspect his eyes when he removes his contacts, how he hands Neil cigarettes without a request, how he doesn’t say a word while touching Kevin with the point of a blade because Neil deserves a fucking break. Sure, by technicalities, the shower scene from TKM is intimate by definition, but really it’s in the kiss he ghosts across Neil’s hip, in how he pats dry his broken skin afterwards. How can you look at him wordlessly dropping keys into Neil’s palms, and think, yeah there’s no way Andrew could be romantic. Is he soft, is he gentle, as a person? No. But his minuscule actions are, his unmentioned gestures are. You just have to look and find them.
TKM just has some of the most subtly beautiful examples of a different flavour of love and intimacy that is so unusual and heartwarming it’s insane. That shower scene drives me crazy when I think about how caring Andrew is in it. He came in with the tape and bags on his own volition, knowing Neil needed a shower and couldn’t do it unattended. How he didn’t take away Neil’s autonomy by assuming he couldn’t undress himself, instead waiting until he paused and couldn’t go any further before he started to help. How he drapes the blanket over Neil’s shoulders, again giving Neil a chance to struggle before wrapping it around him. They practically don’t speak to each other really in that chapter at all apart from a bit of flirting in the shower. Because they don’t need to, because Andrew knows how to love, how to be caring, how to wrap up the boy he almost lost in bubble wrap because if he loses him again, it won’t be pretty. He washes Neil’s hair! He covers his wounds! He treats him gently when that is possibly the last word that could ever be used to describe Andrew. I feel like that scene was in part of course him just looking after Neil who can use approximately two square inches of his entire body, but in another part proving how serious he is about Neil. Everything changes between the two of them then, suddenly their actions more relaxed than hungry, not yet a given but instead now just a want.
I don’t know. I can’t help but see so much intimacy and romance in subtleties and things you’d barely even notice, regardless of the people/the characters and their circumstances. I wouldn’t use the word sweet to describe Andrew at all, but the things he does for Neil? The way that he loves Neil? The absolutely fucking sweetest.
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