#they were fun to play but im not sure i could maintain that level of horniness for an entire campaign

[nivvledoodles]

My horny slime paladin Equinox from a halloween d&d oneshot

[soulmatesinc-if]

I had a question about the lore of the game. Are the workers at soulmates inc all normal people? like did they end up there because they thought they were applying for a normal corporate job, only to then get indoctrined into the mysticism and superpowers of the job?

is there a front that the company has to avoid suspicions? like what do the employees tell people about where they work?

Obvs im totally willing to suspend any disbelief because this game is a delight to play, but was just wondering if you had the world built all ready or if you were making it as you go!

The people who land the soul-link job have been approached about it, MC included. The whole mysticism part is usually gradually revealed over the course of the interviews. That's all I can say on this at the moment 😉

There is a front, and I've tried to sprinkle as many references to it as I could! The building they occupy boasts a sign with the name of the company quite openly, there is even branded merch (mugs, pens, notebooks, stickers, etc). To the public, they make and maintain a dating app, and they hire developers to work exclusively on it. MC is authorized to tell their family, friends, and even strangers that they work on the app's matching algorithm.

Obvs im totally willing to suspend any disbelief because this game is a delight to play, but was just wondering if you had the world built all ready or if you were making it as you go!

Honestly, this is so nice to hear, I genuinely appreciate this level of trust in me! I did spend a lot of time figuring out how (for lack of a better term) the soulmate system would function in the game and I have the plot structure figured out. At the same time, I am sure there will be questions that I haven't thought about and I will be improvising based on what I already have worked out. Or a character decision may nudge the plot rails a bit. But that's the fun of it and I'm open to it!

[psychiatricwarfare]

hey! So like, i really like yall's blog and stuff, but the reason im messaging is cuz ur a system and like. i just discovered im a system in the last couple weeks. So I was wondering if you had any advice for someone figuring this out? cuz itz realll confusing

it definitely is super confusing!! systemhood experiences are something that varies from system to system but here's some that may hopefully help! feel free to ask any follow up questions and/or DM us directly if u like

so the very first thing we did once we started to come to terms with the fact that we are a system was try and get a feel for who was who and maybe get a base head count. for us, we are currently at 6 (as far as we are aware, however there's a lot of headspace that the 3 of us who run this blog cant access +therefore dont know much about).

the way we got our headcount was by asking questions constantly throughout the day, our favourite to ask is favourite colour but it can be anything! try to ask new questions alongside repeated ones to try and learn more about whoever is fronting in that moment

for example, say we ask ourself what our favourite colour is and it's green, that would mean that beatle is fronting bc that's their favourite colour, then they might think about what they look like or trying to think of things they like or dislike. sometimes it doesnt come right away, sometimes you just wont know things about yourself

~ for me (beatle), when i first split out of bug's subsystem into the main system i had no concept of myself. for a long time i just considered myself to be bug's scraps or the parts of bug that were undesirable due to the way i was formed. but the longer i was my own alter as part of the main system the more i discovered about myself just intuitively. i realised that i am definitely Not Human (altho humans are fascinating tbh), im a faun (aka a deer-girl-thing fae) who's deeply in love with the forest and dreams of being silly and having fun and enjoying life, playing with the other fae and the flora and the fauna and the fungi. it took me a long time (maybe about a year give or take) for my identity to really make itself clear to me.~

it's probably going to be a confusing process for a while, we're still not fully accustomed to being a functioning system & often have times where we aren't sure what's going on, things like co-con and co-fronting can add extra levels of confusion as well as splits, fusions, subsystems, disappearances & dissociation. you may not experience all of these things but they all could potentially happen

headspace is strange and difficult for us to navigate outside of our "gaming room" and bedrooms. not all systems have a headspace, some who do have extremely detailed ones, others (we) have very abstract ones. building bonds between headmates can sometimes help with navigating headspace & making it a more cohesive place

there also may be entire parts of your system that you are unaware of and they may be unaware of you! like we said, there are 6 of us in total (that we know of) but only 3 of us run this blog. the other 3 are are the littles and their caretaker. the three of us have never met the caretaker, although null can communicate with her using its tablet thing, she is fully aware of our presence but hers was unknown to us until we got a visit from our 2 littles after not seeing them for a long time. they were the ones who told us she existed and looked after them while the three of us maintain the body & navigate the outer world.

> honestly the hardest thing for me (bug) was learning to accept that im sharing this body with others and how to go about being a good host & not casting my headmates' wants/needs aside in favour of my own while also trying to navigate being not out as a system to the vast majority of people we know. the most difficult part, in my opinion, is attempting to stay true to yourself while also allowing your headmates to stay true to themselves without fear of others finding out somehow. truthfully, 99.99999% of people Will Not figure out someone's a system & will excuse any "odd" or "out of character" behaviour bc most people only think of systemhood as something that happens in movies, not a real thing that real people have. most people's brains will jump to "wow that person is so unpredictable sometimes" or "wow they really change depending on their mood" and not that there's secretly other people inside your head. <

thats all we can really think of for now but again, feel free to ask for more specific advice/experiences! our askbox/dms are always open :3

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

[airybby]

Love in the Air

Part 2

a/n um yes i am alive hello this took a while n honestly im just being impatient bc i want to get further into the story where its more fun for, um, reasons but im very excited for it!!

1.2k words - Love in the Air Masterlist

It was easier to talk to Akaashi than you thought it would be, and It was comfortable being around him. Once you were able to get over the enchanted stupor he would put you under you found how truly relaxing his presence was. You’d still find your eyes naturally draw towards him when you were together, but just as often you’d catch him silently staring towards you. You got to understand how he melded so well with his group of friends, and how he managed to get along so well with Bokuto. You got to know him and it was so much more than you had originally thought.

At first, as much as he was captivating, he was - at least had seemed - placid and distant and the more the two of you would meet up to put everything together the more you realized that his tranquil nature was truly just surface level.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to include this bit in it?” you asked him. The dinner was only a few days away, and the gift near finished save for a few minor details you were adding together.

“Yes, if we changed it at all it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t really sound like Konoha if he wasn’t picking at Bokuto a little bit,” he said sipping his now lukewarm coffee. “This is his nicer version, too, because I told him it is a gift that everyone will see.”

“How kind of him,” you said while adding the final touches to the file on your laptop.

He watched you as you worked, your latte cold and half-finished pushed to the other side of the table. You turned to meet his gaze and smiled.

“You know, it might be kind of funny if we just, didn’t add his bit to it for getting it to you so last minute.”

Akaashi grinned at the thought. “He would say his piece either in this or in front of everyone during the reception in a toast.”

“Exactly, it’d be funny,” you said.

“For everyone except Bokuto.”

“Has that stopped you all before?”

“No, not really,” he laughed.

You worked on finishing the video together, trying not to think about how after this you didn’t have an excuse to meet up with him like this as frequently anymore, and once the wedding was over none at all. All that could really be hoped for was that he wouldn’t turn down going out to get coffee together once the wedding was over and that you could maintain whatever friendship you’d build over the last few weeks.

“I’ll miss this,” you thought as you began packing your laptop and heading towards the exit together. You’d miss how refreshing and easy it was to just talk with him and have fun. How he would think things through carefully and then miss something completely obvious. Every time you would have your meetings for the gift at the coffee shop he became less a fascinating enigma and more real, and the more you found yourself charmed by him. Heading home wasn’t really what you wanted to do right now.

“I’ll see you at the rehearsal dinner,” you said as you waved your goodbye to him. “Thanks for putting this together with me.”

“Yeah of course,” he paused looking as if he wanted to say more, his fingers fidgeting down at his side. “Actually, can I ask you for a favor?”

His unease heavy enough that it was showing slightly in his face was… interesting to say the least. It wasn’t often that you’d see him so obviously unsure.

“What favor?” you asked, more curious about why he seemed so uncomfortable than whatever favor he needed.

“Would you mind being my date for the dinner and the reception?”

Not quite the favor you were expecting

“I’m really kind of tired of the boys, mostly Kuroo and Bokuto, pestering me about asking someone,” he continued. “And I really don’t want Hana to go out of her way to push me to ask someone she finds. It also will be easier because we have to do so much together and help with the wedding.”

“Sure.” You said as you burst into giggles at his sudden rant. “It would honestly save me from the same fate if Hana had found out I didn’t have a plus one yet.”

“Great,” he sighed. “I’ll see you at dinner in a few days.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you then.”

---------

The rehearsal dinner was stressful, but it was a lot of fun. You enjoyed seeing your best friend so happy, and you knew she’d be calling you later with the look she gave when she saw you walk in with Akaashi.

Once everyone finished eating you asked Akaashi to go and set up the projector as you asked for everyone’s attention.

“This is a little gift from the rest of us to the two of you. I got pictures and recordings of everyone sharing stories and memories they’ve shared with the both of you and wishing you both the best in the future. We’re all really happy for the two of you.” you finished with a smile and sat down, Akaashi taking the seat next to you as the short video began to play.

It was great to see everyone enjoying it, and the warm smile Hana had the whole time it played. Once the video finished and everyone was getting ready to leave she made her way over to you and held you in a tight hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I couldn’t have asked for a better maid of honor.”

“Don’t think I didn’t see you tearing up while you watched it,” you said as you handed her a USB with a copy of it for her to keep. You laughed as she smacked your shoulder, her own giggles joining in.

“By the way, when you get home later you’re going to call me and you’re telling me absolutely everything,” she said with a devious grin, glancing towards Akaashi who stood a few feet away. You rolled your eyes.

“Of course,” you said as you gave her a quick hug goodbye and turned to walk back to Akaashi.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yeah”

The walk home with him was peaceful and the night was cool. Akaashi glanced down at you as he walked you home, your grin never leaving your face.

“In a good mood?” he questioned, watching as you turned to look at him.

“Yeah, I’m glad that everyone really seemed to love the video.” you beamed. Your heart felt full and warm, but more than how well your little surprise went, you were glad that you were allowed to have this short moment on your way home with him.

“Mmm, me too,” he said. “Bokuto is a generally cheerful and happy person, but the only other times I’d see him smile like that were at Hana.”

“Yeah, it was nice to see,” you whispered as you approached the doors to your apartment. “Thank you, for helping me with it. And walking me home.”

“Of course,” he said as he watched you turn to open your door. “Once the wedding is over we should meet up and get lunch together.”

You almost dropped your keys in surprise at the thought, but looked back at him and smiled.

“I’d really like that.”

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[psychosistr]

Kings

Summary: Domino is forced to attend a party for FOWL’s top agents, and is having a hard time enjoying himself when the presence of someone in particular makes him feel very uncomfortable. Good thing Steelbeak’s there to provide both a distraction and some surprisingly good advice.

Notes: This was a little something written to wish @thefriendlyfour a happy birthday! Thanks for everything you do!

(P.S.- All OC’s in this story belong to her, not me)

Dominic was not having a good time…

It wasn’t often that FOWL High Command granted permission and spared funds on things deemed “unnecessary” for work. Everything from bank heists to political blackmail schemes and even the smallest pieces stolen from museums- every cent earned was carefully accounted for, recorded, and allocated properly. FOWL was a big organization that had many facilities to maintain- and even more workers to pay (maintenance and repair men, scientists, eggmen, all the way up to the special agents) to keep everything running smoothly.

Still, even with everything that had to be paid for, High Command understood the basic concept of things like “morale” and had to relent and reward their workers- particularly their top agents- every once in a blue moon (though it was mostly to make sure that they would feel content with their jobs and not try to leave and use their skills and training to make it as solo villains). Parties seemed to be the easiest and most effective way of keeping employee morale up: It only took one day of actual work, and food and beverages were easy to acquire and serve. After that, all that was required were a decently sized venue and some half-way decent music.

That was how the chief officer of FOWL, Steelbeak, and his partner, Dominic “Domino”, found themselves spending the evening in a heavily fortified and closely monitored outpost several miles away from Saint Canard at a party for FOWL’s most accomplished agents.

The large central room of the relatively unused outpost had been cleaned up and hastily decorated with a few different colored lights and decorations that were likely leftovers from the last party that had been thrown there. There were tables of catered food and drinks ranging from standard soda to a large punch bowl and even a fully-stocked bar all along one wall, leaving the majority of the floor open for agents to mingle and converse freely. The wall opposite the food and drinks housed a small stage that was being used for the evening’s entertainment: A small but highly talented orchestra with a full string section and a full-sized grand piano that had been brought in just for the occasion.

The party had been in full-swing for more than an hour already, but Dominic wanted nothing more than to leave and it was for one reason and one reason alone…

It wasn’t because he hated parties. Granted, he was by no means a party-loving social-butterfly, but he could still have fun and enjoy himself so long as the venue wasn’t overly crowded and his fellow partygoers weren’t so intoxicated that they forgot to respect his boundaries. In fact, compared to the parties he’d been dragged to at the northern base (which tended to involve excessive amounts of alcohol, brightly colored flashing lights, deafeningly loud pop music, and half of his team drinking to the point of passing out while he stayed sober to keep them from getting into too much trouble), this was one of the nicer soirees he’d been to in a while.

It wasn’t because he disliked his fellow agents. While there were still many new people that he was getting acquainted with and had yet to familiarize himself with each and every person present, the others in attendance all seemed like intelligent, capable, reasonable individuals who were pleasant to converse with in small doses. They also had enough common sense to not trust one another, so no one was trying to get hammered- meaning no loudmouthed or clingy drunkards to deal with, which always made for a much more pleasant evening.

It wasn’t because of his partner- if anything, the other man’s presence was one of the only things making this whole evening more bearable. As chief officer of FOWL, Steelbeak’s presence was required at any gathering of its most elite agents, which meant that Dominic, as partner of the current chief officer, was also required to attend. To the loon’s surprise, Steelbeak seemed even less excited to attend the event than his partner, stating that he found High Command’s mandatory gatherings boring and repetitive (if they were all like THIS, though, Dominic could certainly understand why the rooster felt that way after eight years of forced attendance). The lighter fowl’s hushed banter and sarcastic remarks about the party and some of the other agents never failed to bring a small smile to his more serious partner’s face and even elicited a few quiet laughs that were drowned out by the music.

No, everything else at the party was somewhat boring, but otherwise tolerable…except for one thing…one frustratingly perfect, ever present thing that he tried VERY hard to stay as far away from as possible…as long as he stayed by the wall and what he was trying to avoid stayed in the center of the room conversing with another agent about who knows what, then he’d be fi-

“Geez, short fuse, ya look like you’re waitin’ for a bomb t’ go off.” The familiar voice of his partner offered the loon a much needed distraction from his thoughts.

Dominic glanced away from the crowd of agents in front of him and looked instead to his approaching partner who’d broken away long enough to join him in his sequestered corner against the wall by the stage. “If that were the case, we might have a valid reason to get out of here.”

Steelbeak leaned against the wall beside the loon, looking across the room at the bar as if he were seriously considering it as a solution to their current predicament. “Well, there IS a full bar over there…find me a microwave an’ a can of that spray-on oil from the kitchen and I could whip somethin’ up.” It was hard to tell how much of that was actually a joke.

A smile tugged up the corners of the darker bird’s beak even as he shook his head. “Tempting as that is, we would probably just receive orders to turn the event into some sort of ‘garden party’ in the woods..and I know how much you love nature.”

A visible shudder ran down the taller fowl’s body at the thought of spending that much time out in the forest. “No-ho thank you, all that fresh air makes me gag.” He even made a retching sound to prove his point, earning a quiet laugh from the other man that made him smile and laugh along for a moment. “So, if we’re not all ‘bout t’ go out in a big ball of fire, then why’re ya over here lookin’ like you’re ‘bout t’ dig someone’s grave?” He asked after they’d both had a moment to regain their composure. “I’d ask if someone touched ya or somethin’, but I haven’t seen anyone go flyin’ through a wall or stuffed inside a cello case, so it can’t be that bad.”

Darn it, Steelbeak had gotten too good at reading the darker bird after three months of dating him. At times like these, Dominic wasn’t sure if he was more annoyed or grateful for that fact…

“No, nothing that extreme yet.” Red eyes glanced over the crowd and once more found their target. “I’m just…trying to avoid someone..”

Dark grey eyes followed the other’s gaze and landed on a well-dressed man who stood out among the crowd. “Wait…Osprey? Ya know ‘im?”

Of course he knew him. Who didn’t?

Agent Edward Osprey was a statuesque brown and white hawk that was even taller than Steelbeak. Everything about him was elegant and perfect from his immaculate feathers to his tailored blue suit coat, long-tailed shirt, black pants, and neatly folded white ascot. On top of being well-groomed and well-dressed, the man was undeniably handsome with his sharp features and piercing black eyes offset by yellow sclera- his eyes were even accentuated further by the brown band of feathers that cut perfectly across the lighter feathers on the rest of his face. He looked like he’d just stepped out of a painting; to have such perfect features shouldn’t have been possible in nature.

Oh, but the perfection didn’t end at the osprey’s looks- oh no. He was one of the most musically talented men Dominic had ever seen, being both a concert-level pianist and conductor- the orchestra which provided most of the evening’s music had been led by him when he wasn’t playing the grand piano for the crowd’s applause. The hawk was also an incredibly skilled agent specializing in sharp objects and weaponry with a nearly flawless track record under his belt. Add to that the fact that he was nothing but charming and gentlemanly to everyone he met (enemies not withstanding), and you had the walking reality-defying-perfection that was agent Edward Osprey.

“We’ve..met before, yes…” Dominic folded his arms over his chest, trying to look away while still keeping the source of his current stress and anxiety in his peripheral vision.

“Ya don’t sound too thrilled ‘bout it.” Steelbeak pointed out while eyeing his partner with one brow cocked. “I’m guessin’ ya don’t like the guy?”

Oh boy, now THERE was mine field that was difficult to navigate.. “I don’t…dislike him..”

“But ya don’t like ‘im either, right?” Once again, Steelbeak proved how good he’d gotten at reading the loon over the past few months.

Exhaling a heavy sigh, Dominic closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall behind them. “…Promise you won’t laugh.”

“Hmmm, weeeeeellll~” The fake contemplation ended when a single red eye opened just enough to side-eye the rooster with a warning glare, making said rooster break into a grin. “Alright, alright, I’ll hold it in.” The red eye narrowed at him and he held up his hands to show he wasn’t crossing any of his fingers. “Promise.”

Though he hardly trusted the other man’s word, Dominic would take what he could get. After taking in a deep breath and closing his eyes again, the words he’d been trying to avoid speaking aloud finally came out. “He makes me feel………uncomfortable..”

A brief but repressed snicker was heard before his red eyes opened and gave the taller fowl a warning glare. “Sorry, somethin’ in my throat.” A clear lie, but Dominic let it slide (this time). “So, why does Mr.Fancypants over there make ya uncomfortable? Knowin’ ‘im, he probably didn’t do nothin’ to ya on purpose- the guy takes it as some sorta personal offense if anyone forgets their manners ‘round ‘im. Think he’d have a stroke if he was the one bein’ rude for a change.”

“No, he isn’t rude- I don’t think he has it in him to be anything less than an absolutely perfect gentleman.” The loon looked across the room again, making sure the man in question was still far away and that no one was close enough to overhear him aside from his partner. “And that’s part of the problem: He’s just so..so-!”

“Practically perfect?” Steelbeak supplied, the look he gave the shorter fowl both amused and understanding.

“Yes.” Dominic groaned, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. “He’s just so perfect in everything he does- he’s attractive, strong, clever, talented, gets along with EVERYONE, and has the highest record of successful missions in FOWL ever.” His eyes lingered on his hand as it lowered once more. “He’s so infuriatingly perfect that it makes me seem so…” His words trailed off into a mumble at the end, not wanting to voice how the hawk really made him feel…

“So, just t’ make sure I’ve got this whole thing right-” The lighter bird began without waiting for Dominic to repeat himself (likely because he knew he wouldn’t do so willingly). “Osprey’s so perfect that ya feel less perfect bein’ around ‘im?” Darn it, three for three- Steelbeak was on a roll tonight.

“Who wouldn’t?” He didn’t bother to look at his partner again while muttering his response.

He was right, of course: Who wouldn’t feel inferior next to someone like Edward Osprey?

“Heh.” The answer he received was a short, clipped laugh followed by the sound of retreating footsteps.

By the time Dominic looked back up to see what the other man was doing, the metal-mouthed fowl was heading towards the stage. “Steelbeak?” He called after him, but received no response.

One by one, others in the room began to notice the new figure stepping up onto the stage. It had been vacant for about twenty minutes now, allowing Osprey and his orchestra to take a break and enjoy the festivities themselves. With this in mind, it was understandable that the others in attendance were reasonably surprised to see none of the previous performers take to the stage- but the chief officer himself.

Steelbeak ignored the confused looks and hushed whispers as all eyes in the room were suddenly on him. He simply cracked his knuckles and shook out his fingers before seating himself at the grand piano, never even acknowledging them or saying a word.

Then, after taking a quick breath, he began to play.

The melody was captivating- soft but passionate; steady but rapid; light but powerful. Everything about it was such a contradiction, but it somehow just worked. It seemed to change and evolve as the song progressed, sometimes changing to the point of almost seeming like a completely new song, but then that familiar pattern would find a way to weave itself back in naturally to connect it all back together.

And then there was the sheer amount of skill and movement of those off-white fingers across the keys; they were practically a blur during the crescendos. The notes came so quickly that Steelbeak’s hands were never still, even for a second, often having different fingers of the same hand playing at completely separate rhythms from one another. Honestly, it was astonishing that they didn’t trip over themselves. It was almost mesmerizing to watch them fly and jump from one key to the next with expert timing.

Dominic was transfixed by the sights and sounds. While Steelbeak had told him of his experience as an undercover concert pianist on their first date, he had never actually heard him play before. He’d also never heard this song before, but there were no doubts in his mind that few could play it as well as Steelbeak was then and there.

Managing to tear his eyes away from the spectacle long enough to look around the room, it seemed he wasn’t the only one to feel that way. Everyone was staring in awe at their chief officer’s jaw-dropping performance. Even Osprey, who’d worked his way closer to the stage since the song began, seemed genuinely shocked and amazed by Steelbeak’s playing.

The song reached its final crescendo and Steelbeak let it drag on for a moment. Before anyone could pick their collective jaws up off of the floor and react appropriately, however, he immediately began to play another tune.

While still incredibly difficult to play and requiring a good deal of hand-acrobatics to hit each note properly, this one was softer than the last. There was something light and almost..sweet to it- as if the first one was to show off, but this one was to communicate something deeper.

This was another song that Dominic was unfamiliar with but, judging by the similar movements required to play the complex melody properly, it felt like it was by the same composer.

It stirred something in him as he listened, the gentle tune causing a pleasant shiver to linger in his body and a warm feeling to blossom in his chest. For a moment, he thought of the love songs he’d heard in the past- of their cheesy lyrics declaring adoration that ultimately became meaningless with how many people sang those words over and over again. Those songs were cute, but they ultimately felt hollow without a sense of genuine romance to them.

This song, though…This one, without any words or blatant messages to project, somehow felt more like a true love song than any the loon had ever heard in his life. This was raw, passionate, gentle, and beautiful all at once…and he’d be lying if he said the thought didn’t have him blushing a little..

By the time Steelbeak finished playing and stood up, the partygoers had recovered from their initial shock and finally applauded the exemplary performance they’d been treated to. Steelbeak, for his part, just smirked and gave a quick wave over his shoulder as he left the stage, not even taking a bow despite how well-earned it was at that point.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Dominic began once the other man joined him against the wall once more. “But what was that about?”

Steelbeak looked down at him with a smirk, but it was less teasing and far softer than usual. “Just MY way of answerin’ your question.” Before the loon could ask for clarification, Steelbeak looked towards the piano he’d just been playing. “You were askin’ who wouldn’t feel less perfect ‘round someone like Osprey: I wouldn’t ‘cause I know I’ve got somethin’ I’m better at than him.” Dark grey eyes returned their attention to the red ones still looking up at him. “One thing I’ve learned from bein’ chief officer all these years is that ya can’t be better than everyone at everythin’, someone’s ALWAYS gonna have somethin’ they’re better at than you are. The trick t’ stayin’ on top an’ remindin’ everyone why YOU’RE the king an’ they’re the pawns is t’ find the one thing you’re better at than whoever you’re up against an’ make ‘em feel like you’re superior ‘cause of it.”

Dominic took a moment to digest this new philosophy. It certainly seemed to make sense, and would probably explain why Steelbeak always acted like he was better than everyone- it was a way to stay on top and keep others from challenging him by appearing superior. While this information was useful, there was still one part of the chief officer’s advice that was easier said than done: “So you’re saying that I have to find something I’m better at than him? That’s asking a lot since I don’t have any comparative talents like you do.” Dominic didn’t really have much experience with playing instruments or conducting, so he couldn’t use that for any sort of advantage (and while his singing voice was pretty good, he’d never heard Osprey’s so it would be hard to compare them). They were experts with completely different weaponry, so no luck there. The hawk had a better track record for missions than he did, so he couldn’t use anything work related. “I don’t think-”

“You’re a better leader.”

Red eyes blinked in confusion and stared up at the taller bird. “What?”

“You’re a better leader.” The other repeated once more, looking down at the loon with an expression halfway between a smirk and an encouraging smile. “Osprey’s got one heck of a record with missions an’ gets along with everyone, but you’re a better leader than him: Ya know when t’ be nice an’ when t’ be serious. Ya know when t’ listen t’ others an’ when t’ make ‘em listen t’ YOU instead. Ya walk int’ the room an’ command guys three times your size t’ shut up an’ do what they’re told an’ put ‘em in their place if they even THINK ‘bout talkin’ back.” With a smirk, he inclined his head in the general direction of the crowd. “That’s why you’re over here with me an’ he’s over there with them. Sure, his track-record’s higher, but YOU’RE the one High Command picked t’ stand at the top with me- ya beat him an’ everyone else in FOWL for your position ‘cause ya deserved it.” Having made his point, Steelbeak reclined fully against the wall once more, his hands raised to cushion his head against the hard surface in a casual manner. “If anyone ever makes ya question yourself, just remember: I actually listen t’ YOU.”

Dominic was floored (and..maybe a little touched?) by his partner’s words.

After a moment of contemplation, he began to feel a smile slip onto his beak. Steelbeak had a valid point and wasn’t just stroking Dominic’s ego: The loon WAS a pretty good leader. He could coordinate teams ranging from two people to two hundred. He learned his teammates’ strengths and weaknesses and planned around them accordingly to complete any task he’d been assigned.

And, if nothing else, getting someone as bigheaded and arrogant as Steelbeak to listen to him HAD to count for something.

Before he had the chance to thank the chief officer for his rare-words of encouragement, another voice added itself to their conversation. “Steelbeak, your performance was absolutely awe-inspiring!” Looking away from one another to see who’d come to join them, the deadly duo saw none other than Edward Osprey approaching them. He smiled and bowed his head politely. “Do forgive my intrusion, but I simply HAD to commend you for your beautiful rendition of La Campanella: That is an incredibly difficult piece that I struggle with even after a few warm-ups.”

Steelbeak ate up the praise as one would expect, giving Osprey a smirk while idly bringing one hand around to inspect his fingers like a girl checking her nails for imperfections. “Woooow, really? That’s what I play FOR my warm-ups. Start with the harder ones an’ everythin’ else’s easy, y’know?”

“I suppose you’re right.” Osprey was quick to agree, never losing his genial smile. “Though, I must say, I didn’t know you were so familiar with Liszt. Your playing of Love Dream was very emotional- anyone in particular you were dedicating that performance to?”

That actually seemed to trip the rooster up a little, Dominic catching a bit of red on the other’s cheeks between his light feathers as he tried to play it off cool-and-casual. “I mean…maybe…it’s just a song, though, no big deal..”

It was Dominic’s turn to smirk knowingly at the other man. “Well, if there was someone you had in mind while playing it, I’m fairly certain they would have found it beautiful and charming.”

Steelbeak side-eyed the loon, his cheeks going a bit darker, but was saved by another agent coming up to them. “Hey, can you play one more? Everyone loved you out there!” To the trio’s surprise, the request was directed at Steelbeak rather than Osprey.

“Eh, I dunno-” Steelbeak started to say, but his eyes wandered over to Dominic and something in those dark grey depths shifted. “…Ya know what? Sure. I can handle one more.” Then, to everyone’s delight, he walked back up to the stage and took his seat at the piano once more.

“I had no idea he was so talented.” Osprey admitted to Dominic once the lighter bird was out of earshot. “I must admit, I’m a little jealous that you get to work so closely with him- that man’s been chief officer longer than some of us have even been agents.” He looked away from the stage to meet the loon’s gaze directly. “I can only imagine what you must have gone through to earn his respect and companionship.”

“Thank you. It has been.. a journey, to say the least…” Dominic was more than a little surprised..but not necessarily by the taller man’s words- Osprey was polite to everyone and was no stranger to sincere flattery. No, what REALLY surprised the loon was the fact that he just had a conversation (albeit a brief one) with Edward Osprey without any feelings of anxiety or inferiority rising up within him.

What Osprey said next was lost on Dominic as he heard Steelbeak begin to play. This song was different from the others. It was a completely different composer, era, and genre of music- one that the loon was all too familiar with since it had been played in his car a couple of times while his partner sat beside him in the passenger seat praising his singing of the accompanying lyrics. A soft smile tugged at his beak as Dominic listened to the equally soft melody, knowing that this was likely just Steelbeak’s way of driving his earlier point home and wasn’t really meant to be recognized by anyone else.

It was Dominic’s turn to receive a few stares- first from the other agents in the room, and then from Steelbeak himself when he passed in front of the piano to grab the microphone that had been left in its stand nearby. Once he removed it from its spot and made it more mobile, Dominic walked closer to the piano and leaned against it casually. He did a circular gesture with two of his fingers and Steelbeak smiled, instantly knowing what his partner wanted.

Without missing a beat, Steelbeak smoothly looped the song back to the beginning and nodded to Dominic when it was time to join in.

Nodding back, the darker bird brought the microphone closer to his beak and closed his eyes as he began to sing. “You're a-lone. You're on your own. So what? Have you gone blind? Have you for-got-ten what you have and whaaat is yours?”

He blocked out the stage lights; blocked out the crowd around them and their eyes on him. “Glass haaalf empty~, glass haaalf full- well~, either way you won't be go~ing thirsty; Count your blessings, not your flaws.”

There was only one set of eyes on him that mattered right now, and he knew the look they held without even having to see them. “You've got it all~ You lost your mind in the sound. There's so much mooore, you can reclaim your crown. You're in controoll- Rid of the monsters insi~de your head…Put all your faults to bed…You can be king a~gain…”

Another quick breath stolen between verses and he gained the confidence to open his eyes, but he kept his gaze locked solely on the one gazing back at him with awe and adoration. “You don't get wha~at all thiiss i~s a~bout. You're too wra~pped up in your self-doubt. You've got that young blood, set it free…”

The smile on Steelbeak’s face was brighter than any of the lights pointed at the pair on stage, making Dominic feel twice as warm and making him smile just as much. “You've got it all~ You lost your mind in the sound. There's so much mooore, you can reclaim your crown. You're in controoll- Rid of the monsters insi~de your head…Put all your faults to~ bed…You can be king.”

There was a spark of something in the air between them- that same connection they shared when they were working together to take down an enemy that made both of them feel so much more aware of one another on a completely different level. “There's method i~n my ma~adness…There's no looogic in your sa~dness…You don't gaaiinn a siinngle thing from misery~yy…Take it from mee~ee…”

He used his free hand to close the piano’s cover, careful not to let it drop and ruin the gentle decrescendo of the song. “You've got it all~ You lost your mind in the sound. There's so much mooore, you can reclaim your crown. You're in controoll- Rid of the monsters insi~de your head…Put all your faults to~ bed…You can be king.”

Dominic gracefully lifted himself up to sit on the closed piano, one hand holding the microphone in front of him while the other was braced behind him so he could lean back with his legs crossed in front of him- head tipped back as he belted out the notes of the final verse. “You've got it all! You lost your mind in the sound! There's so much mooore, you can reclaim your crown! You're in control- Rid of the monsters inside your head! Put all your faults to bed…You can be king again!”

Red eyes met dark grey, one additional line being sung softly and with so much more feeling than any other line before it. “We can be kings a~gain.”

Steelbeak’s playing came to an end and the two were left staring at one another fondly. There were cheers and applause and words being called to them, but neither man payed them any mind.

After all, they were the kings standing at the top.

End Notes: For anyone who’s curious, here are the songs that Steelbeak played in order: The first is La Campanella by Liszt. The second is Liebstraum No.3, also known as Love Dream, also by Liszt. And the final piece that Domino sang along to at the end was King by Lauren Aquilina.

When choosing the first two songs for Steelbeak to play, I asked a couple of my friends who were piano majors in high school what the most difficult type of music to play is that still sounds good. The general consensus among most of them was, and I quote, “people who hate their hands but love to please others usually play Liszt”- and La Campanella came up repeatedly as one of the hardest songs to play, so I went with it xD

Once again, happy birthday to @thefriendlyfour / @eleanorose123 ! Hope you had a good one and thank you for another year of awesome content!

[fluidityandgiggles]

Dalton Big Bang day 1 - The Canadian Girlfriend Experience

Writing Masterpost, AO3 Link

Notes: So... y’all. Dalton fam. Hear me out.

I understand that y'all are gonna be mad at me for staying up until (four? five?) five in the morning to post this, but I'm something like 90% sure I'd forget to post it in the morning (afternoon), and I have to write tomorrow's fic anyway, so... here's an extra early fluffy mess. Hope y'all like it.

I had to write this one... I really really had to. Han's girlfriend is a big deal to me. I hope you understand it.

(And for the uninitiated in pathfinder - the rank system is wild, feats are taken every two levels or so, Logan’s character is basically invincible, defeated only by Dwight’s monk and the absolute insanity that creating a monk in pathfinder can end up being.)

—————

"I really have to go to sleep," the familiar (by now) high-pitched voice said through the headphones, stifling a yawn. "My drama class is moving props to the auditorium tomorrow for our exam and my mom would be mad at me if I don’t go to sleep in the next thirty minutes."

"So go to sleep, Lils. I won’t be mad at you."

"Okay! I’ll text you in the morning! Love you, bye!"

"Good night."

Han finally let himself snort a bit after his girlfriend hung up, watching as she disconnects from the game a few moments later. He did say he’ll only play Starcraft today so long as Leah is available, and now that she’s offline…

He just closed the game and went back to working on his Pathfinder session prep.

Han met Leah at the San Diego Comic-Con last summer. On day one, she approached him because she thought the Westwoods’ Bat family cosplay was really cool. On day two, he approached her because her Arwen cosplay was flawless. By day three they’d already ditched the con to have a not-date lunch at In-N-Out, found out they’re in the same guild in World of Warcraft, Han found out Leah has a voice acting channel on youtube, they exchanged phone numbers, and by day four they may have not spent the whole day together but they certainly went on a date-date at the end of the day.

They’ve been rather inseparable for the following three weeks, but by then Han had to face the reality of it all. Leah’s phone number was weird to him from the start, sure, and he was willing to pass off her accent as a speech quirk, but it wasn’t until those three weeks ended that it finally sunk in that she’s not American. And like most good things, her visit too has to come to an end.

Maintaining a relationship online just… didn’t feel the same.

1 Unread Message

‘Merril: Can I suggest an idea for Mishka’s character arc?? You can say no, I just had an idea is all!’

Caterpillar: I’m all ears

———

"While this mess of a… bargain is happening," Logan called as Merril and Reed tried to catch their breaths from laughing. "Can Dwight and I get to the diplomatic debate?"

"Sure," Han sighed, watching his party quickly derail the session. "But let’s take a break first."

The first to disappear at the sound of "let’s take a break" was Lucy, who ran to the bathroom, accidentally knocking off Logan’s dice tower in the process. Merril got the brownies out and on the table, everyone pulled their phones out…

Han could take a couple moments to look at the pictures Leah sent him earlier. According to her, they were not yet done with lighting cues, and she was going crazy, but seeing her in her period piece of a costume and leg brace prop made him feel excited for her, somewhat.

Caterpillar: wish I could been there to see it 

Jabba the Hutt: Oh no! Don’t say that! Jabba the Hutt: I’ll send you the filmed version when I get it, but it’ll probably be really bad anyway.

Caterpillar: im sure it cant be that bad 

Jabba the Hutt: Han, it’s a high school production of the Glass Menagerie. Jabba the Hutt: My class is also doing the play version of Spring Awakening. Jabba the Hutt: It *can* and *will* be that bad. Jabba the Hutt: Trust me. 

"Han?" Merril called before he could answer that one. "Hansel, are you listening?"

"No, I wasn’t. What was it?" He grabbed a brownie, leaving his phone aside for a second.

"Wizards of the Coast announced a new edition of D&D," she said again, smiling gently. "Do you think you’d want to try it?"

"I’m already one step ahead of you there. I’m going to playtest it when it— excuse me…"

Jabba the Hutt: WE FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED THIS Jabba the Hutt: I’ve never been happier to say I’m getting offstage, I need someone to punch me!

Caterpillar: dont you mean pinch?

Jabba the Hutt: I meant what I said and I said what I meant.

Han tuned back in time to hear Logan say "I just really don’t want to have to mess with the power system again", which resulted in Dwight throwing a bag of chips at his head.

"Fourth edition has a very special place in my heart, Wright. Don’t talk shit about it around me."

"Yeah, why all the hate for the power system?" Lucy frowned (when did she get back from the bathroom?). "It’s not all that different to how feats work. Would you complain about getting a new feat every odd level once we switch systems?"

"Not going to happen, Lucy."

"Aw man, but I wanted to play Vampire the Masquerade next!"

"And we already said Merril is going to run it," Han reminded her, checking his phone one last time. "But we’re not switching our current game to another system. Not gonna happen."

There was a quiet "hell yeah" from Merril as Han’s phone buzzed with a new message, but before he could even read it, it was snatched by Lucy.

"Wha… who are you talking to, Han?" She laughed a bit, scrolling up, and then her eyes went wide open. "Well… damn."

"Don’t act like you’re surprised, that’s my girlfriend. You met her before."

The silence in the room was so tense, Han swore he could hear a pin drop. 

"...a girlfriend?" Dwight was the first to ask, raising a brow. "Since when?"

"You know, I honestly thought she would’ve forgotten all about you after two weeks…"

"Since a few months ago," Han told Dwight, taking his phone back. "Can we continue, please?"

"No! It’s interesting!" Merril joined in, resting her chin on her hand as she got closer, pushing some papers a bit. "How did you meet? Where is she from? Can we meet her?"

"We met at Comic-Con and no, you can’t meet her. She’s… not from here."

"...is she Canadian?" Logan raised a brow too, starting to laugh.

"Noooooooo…?"

"Oh yeah, Han’s Canadian girlfriend."

"She’s not— let’s start to fucking play, this session isn’t going to end itself."

By the end of the session, Han couldn’t say he’d be surprised if the whole school found out by tomorrow. And if anyone (namely the twins) made fun of him for his "Canadian girlfriend"... so be it. 

———

"Is this Canadian girlfriend of yours coming to prom?" Julian’s tired voice came through the phone, sounding like he was about to pass out. He just arrived at school earlier today, already tired from the flight, and immediately got coddled by Logan.

"She’s not Canadian, Julian. You’re the twenty-fifth person I’ve told this already."

"So where is she from? Would you please tell just one person?"

With a quick glance at the security footage, to make sure Logan wasn’t listening, Han whispered "her name is Leah, I met her at Comic-Con in San Diego last year, she’s from Israel and no, I doubt she can come to prom. She has her own prom to attend."

"...okay, so this Israeli girlfriend of yours. Got it."

"Thank you."

"Are you sure you want to keep her a secret…?" He clicked his tongue. His laugh sounded a bit rougher than usual. "You know how things can end up. You of all people."

"I… I’m just not sure I’m ready for… dude. Is Logan drooling on your shoulder…?"

"Give him a break, Westwood. He’s adjusting to his new pills."

"I asked about the drooling."

"He does that sometimes. I just let him be."

"...why is everyone so interested in my girlfriend? Is it really any different from David and Katherine?"

"I don’t know how to break it down to you, Westwood, but you’re not exactly the type anyone would expect to even have a girlfriend."

A shift in the camera footage made Han cuss silently, covering his microphone.

"...she said she’ll be here for graduation. Hers is in late June, but she finishes school in May."

"Yeah. May. When prom is."

"Do you want to talk to her yourself?" He could hear Julian snort. "I’m not kidding. I’ll give you Leah’s phone number and you’ll convince her yourself. I can’t."

"Because that totally won’t be crazy."

"Julian."

"Hansel."

"Just fucking ask her, you absolute nerd!"

"Can you stop ordering me around? This isn’t Hollywood. This is my girlfriend we’re talking about."

"Can you at least send me a picture of her? So I’ll know she’s real?"

"...fuck you, Larson."

Han sent him a picture anyway. A picture of the two of them that Lucy insisted to take while they were in San Diego. They coordinated somehow, Han with his LOTR shirt and Leah with her whole Arwen cosplay. It was the happiest day he could possibly remember.

And then, a snort through the phone.

"...so you’re Leah Appelbaum’s mysterious Maryland boyfriend? Huh. Didn’t know you lived in Maryland."

"...you know Leah?"

"We had auditions in the same building two years ago and she approached me because she’s a fan of Something Damaged. She insisted on keeping in touch. How did you meet her?"

"At Comic-Con… please be gentle about this, Julian."

"Okay! I just… wow. I know where you live now. Sweet."

"Don’t you dare try to blackmail me with that information, Larson."

"I won’t. There’s nothing to worry about."

———

"...you know what?" Han sighed as the last session before prom was about to close off. "Roll sense motive."

The clatter of dice hitting each other and everyone cussing filled the room, quickly picking up their dice and looking.

"Fifteen!"

"Seventeen!"

"Five!"

"How’s you get a five, Lucy?"

"I’m a barbarian, what do you think—"

"Thirty-four."

Dwight practically glared at Logan. "What the fuck, dude?"

"I play a half-elf cleric, Dwight," Logan answered, straight-faced. "Plus two to wisdom straight away, rolled extremely well, I have a plus five modifier to wisdom and the alertness feat. I took a single rank in sense motive every time we leveled up and now I have ten ranks. On the tenth rank in sense motive or perception, you get a bonus four to the skill instead of the usual two. Thus, ten plus four plus five equals nineteen, plus the fifteen that I rolled. That’s thirty-four. Do I sense motive?"

"...everyone who rolled above a fifteen, and that definitely includes Flint—" Han could see Logan smiling smugly. "Everyone who rolled above a fifteen can see that this woman is telling the truth. Anyone who rolled a twenty or above, Flint, can also sense that—"

There was a knock at the door. There was never a knock at the door. But now there was. And as Reed got up to open the door, Han silently hoped it wouldn’t be anyone who shouldn’t be there—

"And this is your boyfriend’s room," Julian’s voice came through as Reed’s jaw dropped. "Thank you for picking Julian Larson to be your tour guide, we hope you enjoyed the trip."

"Very! Oh, hello!" The girl at the door waved at Reed, who waved back. The whole party waved back. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"No, those nerds are just playing dungeons and dragons. You have nothing to worry about." Reed finally returned to his seat as Julian kissed the girl’s cheek, chuckling at the shock. "Logan, I’ll be expecting you to pick me up at six. I want my pre-prom sushi."

"I promised you I will, Princess, don’t panic."

"Okay, just making sure."

As Julian left, the girl went to sit on Han’s futon and look at everyone. Long brown hair, half of it bleached; dark eyes behind a pair of green plastic-framed glasses; a bit on the heavier side, like Han himself, and wearing a floral summer dress and a pair of short leggings. Her face was flushed red, her lipstick a dark blue, and her nails painted black that just started to chip.

Han missed her so much.

"So… hi." She waved around again, a bit confused. "What’s up…?"

"Who’s this?" Dwight was the first to speak.

"My girlfriend," Han replied, sounding rather insistent. "We were just about to finish our session, Lils. Can you wait?"

"Mmhm! Absolutely! I’ll be so quiet, you’ll forget I’m even here!"

Nobody forgot she was there. Merril kept looking over to her, Reed and Dwight seemed skeptical as ever, and the only person who was normal about it was Lucy. But it wasn’t news for Lucy, she’s met Leah before after all. All the while Leah sat there, chuckling at the game and waiting patiently for Han to finish, which he did twenty minutes later. Dwight practically ran out, followed by Logan who needed to pick his own boyfriend up for dinner, but…

"So where are you from in Canada?" Merril asked first, making Leah smile. 

"I’m… not Canadian. Did Han tell you I’m Canadian?"

"Where’s your lipstick from?" Reed asked next.

"Umm… it’s, it’s from NARS, I picked it up on the way here, I forgot to pack my own makeup and—"

"Is Han taking you to prom?"

Han choked on his water at that. "I can’t leave my room for prom, Merril. Health risks."

"You can have an indoors prom."

"We planned on watching Battlestar Galactica and ordering takeout," Leah admitted. "But… an indoors prom would be nice. I’m not going to mine anyway. My class is writing this… really offensive skit about one of the math teachers and I don’t want to be a part of it."

"What’s your prom even like…?" Reed squinted, sitting back down. "That you do skits."

"It’s… not really a prom. Israel doesn’t really have the promenade culture, it’s just like a showcase the whole class does for family and friends before graduation… I’ve never liked this practice, you know, I think it’s just…"

As Leah rambled on, Han took his time to clear the table and silently hope Merril and Reed leave soon. Those two have prom dates after all. And neither are a Canadian girlfriend.

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[kendrixtermina]

Thoughts re: antagonists

Fair warning: I will be treating “Rhea is an antagonist” as an axiom here to base further discussion on it, if you disagree with that premise then this post isnt for you but im not gonna go into details about proving/arguing it here. 

So on the surface Fodlan appears like your standards issue medieval fantasy setting governed by the rulers of the three countries, but it’s actually a sort of post-apocalyptic leftover of a world where advanced technology once existed, a bit like those legends or pseudoscientific theories about a grand, but sinful civilization before the biblical great flood or Atlantis. Man Grey Proud, wiped out by divine punishment yadda yadda resulting in a setting with two main antagonistic forces that have control and shaped the current state of Fodlans politics through the centuries and have been locked in a costly eternal war:

There’s the remaining Agarthans who want to destroy the surface dwelling civilization AND the Nabateans to rule the surface themselves (which makes them enemies of the church) and there’s Rhea who effectively rules Fodlan from the shadows to the extent that she’s basically arranged the three countries so that her base is in the middle, since the ruling class takes its legitimacy from the church and she makes sure to indoctrinate them when theyre young. 

The result is a world thats rife with instability, inequality, xenophobia caused by isolationism, obsession with bloodlines etc. all side effects of maintaining church power, none of which is doing much to keep the Agarthans in check - they deposed the last emperor and assasinated the last king, have agents in Rhea’s own base and Rhea’s too busy lashing out against random revolts brought on by her incompetent rule to investigate and weed out the real enemy

You have Rhea representing “nothing changes”/ eternal stagnation of Fodlan’s sucky state as it is, Lawful Evil or a “rule the world” villain whereas you have the Agarthans who just plain want to destroy the order of Fodlan so they can rule it,  Chaotic Evil or “destroy the world” villains - We see what Cornelia and Arundel do in the territories they get a hold of, they just squeeze the peasants for their last tax dollar, do forced labor, institute tyrannical and capricious rule... etc suggesting that if they won the people would basically end up as livestock. 

Clearly that’s worse; Rhea’s world sucks but you can still kinda live in it and she will be nice to you if you stay on her good side. But she doesn’t see humans as capable or deserving of governing themselves either. (whereas all three lords basically end up giving the commoners varying degrees of political participation)

They’re even represented as Black (Liberation Army with Agarthan stragglers) and White (Church under rhea) on the map for the chapter introductions whereas the other factions get colors (Empire - Red, Kingdom - Blue, Alliance - yellow, resistance army/reformed church - silver/purple)

The Agarthans are fun conceptually in what they imply for the setting but as characters they don’t get much dimensionality but I don’t think they need to be _ I too used to think pure evil was boring, then I lived through 2016 et al and due to endless frustration with the remaining politicians got to appreciate that the revelant thing about pure evil isn’t the evildoers themselves but how you manage dealing with them in a world with complex webs and balances of power, conflicting self interests etc basically no unambiguos “pure good” everyone can agree on . Pure evil is ultimately an abstraction every evil person likely got evil somehow and could theoretically turn good - but many of them won’t and we still have to deal with it. And that’s the point here - what will the good and neutral people do about it? Will they fall for the traps play the games and be turned against each other? 

Often dysfunctional systems happen not so much because there are evil people (there are always evil people) but because the good and neutral people are too busy bickering to stop them even though the good want to do good and the neutral should at least want to protect their own interests from the villains.

Generally Chaotic Evil tends to be sorta more interesting because it’s the cooler villains/creatures or it’s someone lashing out, whereas lawful evil tends to be crotchery old men and kind of pathetic (See Harry Potter for example) and are often engaged with as sorta younger person rebelling against crotchery old people.

But that also comes with the idea that Lawful Evil is Not You. You can easily see your capacity for destruction as you all get mad and have negative emotions but we all like to think we wouldn’t fall prey to blindly following authority... though studies repeatedly show that ppl overestimate themselves. 

So Rhea is interesting in that she and her most uncompromising followers are semi sympathetic thoroughly examined version of Lawful Evil. (Sympathetic enough that they let you subject her to “love redeems” if you want to, though her S support still acknowledges that she used to be a villain, deceive everyone and used to care nothing for byleth until very recently - You don’t need to marry, say,  Dimitri so that he starts acting responsibly. heck, you could run off with any of his best friends!)  Ppl who are especially susceptible to authority often do so because they feel scared,  view the world as dangerous and sort of never fully made that transition from child to adolescent and subsequently young adult where you stop doing what your parents tell you and start making your own experiences. They’re scared of the unfamiliar and want a strong parent figure to swoop in and protect them and tell them what to think. 

Rhea describes herself as the “last” Child of Sothis meaning she was the youngest, she might’ve been relatively young when the massacre happened (at least by Nabatean standards). She probably survived only cause she hid in fear or because her brothers protected her. 

Eventually she raised an army, got allies and dethroned Nemesis and his ilk, effectively ending up as one of the leaders of her country. The people probably loved her alot after all she got rid of the murdery bandit king - seeing as he has a general might makes right attitude and wasnt above massacring a whole clans worth of innocents for power, he was prolly not a good ruler to live under. 

 She felt she had to live up to the mission left behind by their mother (as Seteth said they view themselves as the protectors of Fodlan) but she still acts as if she were that scared helpless little girl.  She never got the memo that she’s in power and privilege now because sometimes that’s kinda how the mind works. So as she started getting increasingly tyranical she saw it all as “protecting herself” or “doing the will of her mother”. You can see how she got to be that way and follow that progression on an emotional level

She views herself not as the leader that she is, but solely as Sothis’ representative holding down the fort till she returns, and doesn’t enjoy being a leader indeed many things like tea quotes, advice box letters, higher order supports etc. imply that she kinda hates it and finds it lonesome. 

Which also makes her a contrast for the main characters but in different ways - Claude and Edelgard (incidentally the ones who actively oppose her and find out at least some of what her deal is) are very independent, self-reliant and self-determined even at a young age, and even though they have experienced comparable crap, especially Edelgard. Meanwhile Dimitri actually had a lot in common with her in terms of backstory and character flaws and going overboard/hitting the wrong target in pursuit of initially justified revenge and tending toward black and white thinking. You kinda see why they join up in CF -  though he has tons more responsibility, empathy and self-awareness even as his very worst and in his own route he eventually winds up doing pretty much the exact opposite as hes strictly against imposing anything on people and ends up letting them have some say in how he governs them

[citialiin]

ZIGGY ✰ STARDUST

i jacked this from @cardinalrot​. thank you dad. tagging: @gothsic​ ; @blossomingbeelzebug​ ; @betelguide​ ; @thatcertainnight​ ; @prophesyed​ ; you, specifically, reading this.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME.     [ redacted ] * NICKNAME.     ziggy  GENDER.     agender (he/him or they/them) / typically presents as a “man” for simplicity’s sake and also because he doesn’t care enough to think about it for more than 4 seconds HEIGHT.     5′10″ AGE.     26 (earth years) ZODIAC.     ??? (he wasn’t born under our stars ... so .......) SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     any/all (he doesn’t really know them, though, he uses an internal translator)

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR.     bright red, seemingly unnatural -- but it’s natural EYE COLOR.     left pale blue, right black SKIN TONE.     very, very, very pale BODY TYPE.     skinny. very skinny/slender/svelte.  willowy and tall and bony.  good for looking waifish on magazine covers but bad for lifting even vaguely heavy objects. VOICE.     posh, nasally, low, the slightest bit condescending.  speaks with an english accent despite not being english, let alone human.  drawls his vowels and enunciates his letters.  his voice is strangely clear and bright when he sings, unlike his somewhat unpleasant speaking tone, and he tends to sing in higher pitches than his speaking voice. DOMINANT HAND.     ambidextrous -- but he can only play the guitar left handed POSTURE.     very straight and proper, holds his head high and his shoulders square.  uncertain if it’s height alone or if he really is looking down upon you.   SCARS.     small incision in the back of his neck where the translator was placed. barely there and usually covered by a collar or his hair, anyways. TATTOOS.      none BIRTHMARKS.     a large yellow disc on his forehead, rimmed with a slightly darker yellow/bronze with the slightest hint of a chromatic shift affect due to reflecting/light catching pigment in skin cells.  this isn’t unique to him, however, as every member of his race has it. has the tiniest hint of a freckle above his lip, on the left side, and he hates it and wishes he could nuke it off his face.  both of these are usually covered, anyways. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).     the circular mark, his unusual eyes, his sharp features, his bright hair. everything about him is weird and outlandish and strange, but it helps him maintain a striking, marketable image.  

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH.     far away.  HOMETOWN.    faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away. SIBLINGS.    [ grabs the steering wheel and veers straight into worldbuilding headcanon territory ] the society he comes from is no longer sexually dimorphic and typically doesn’t reproduce the natural way.  having evolved far beyond such icky things, they use genetic samples from large swaths of the population to make consistent batches of new individuals -- the genetic samples are screened for defects and aberrations and sort of tossed together into a genome salad, and out comes however many individuals they need to fill in gaps in the population.  there’s a lot of consistency in his species due to this: everyone has reddish hair, everyone has heterochromia, everyone is about the same height, etc.  so technically, he’s related to everyone in his “batch.” PARENTS.   he wouldn’t ever know -- a lot of people, probably

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION.    rockstar -- cultural icon -- celebrity -- musician -- singer -- model -- jerk CURRENT RESIDENCE.    london, LA, NYC, but he’s constantly moving and tours quite often CLOSE FRIENDS.    few and far in between -- he’s friends with his drummer who is named priscilla but usually goes by the stage name WEIRD, as well as siddharth, his bassist, who goes by sid in his personal life but GILLY on stage.  they were the first two humans to encounter him and taught him everything he knows, from how to tie his shoes (aliens wear boots, and you should know this) to the C major scale -- because they are among the few humans who know his secret, he views them as his closest and dearest friends.  his stardom isolates him from them, just a little -- he likes the spotlight but they don’t mind just being “the drummer” and “the bassist.”  they don’t quite have the star power that he does.  his manager  -- tama ahinariki, some guy from new zealand who seemed to bumble his way into becoming in charge of one of the most successful musicians of the decade -- also knows he’s an alien, but they tend to be more business partners than close friends.  tama is more interested in the money side of things whereas priscilla and sid are only interested in the music.  ziggy has stock in the music, money, and his personal brand.  

via rp, he’s made some friends with other characters! a few. very few.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.    single -- he intends to stay that way.  he gets all the action he could ever need from his legion of devoted fans and groupies.  even in situations where he’s romantically involved and emotionally invested, he would never consider himself exclusive or monogamous.   a lot of tabloids make rumors that he’s involved with cardinal copia, fellow rock icon, but he tends to be sneaky at hiding any time they spent together.  it’s hard to keep things private when you’re both massively popular public figures, though. he goes out of his way to be sure no one knows about his predilection for spending time with thomas, because the last thing an awkward alien in disguise needs is a lot of public attention because people think you’re dating a celebrity (who they don’t know is also an alien). he hangs around annie a lot, too, but this is extra extra under wraps, because annie has a stalker named jonathan who may or may not go apeshit and try to tear his head off or something if he finds out.   FINANCIAL STATUS.    filthy rich. should be guillotined.   DRIVER’S LICENSE.    doesn’t have one. he has some paperwork, somewhere, with a “real” name and all that, but he has no idea where it is and lets his manager deal with that stuff. CRIMINAL RECORD.    none ! clean slate.  that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do illegal things, though.  he just doesn’t get caught.   VICES.    smoking, drinking, la cocaina, sex, impulsive spendng, rockstar stuff.  

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   bisexual. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.     submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  | top |  bottom | verse. this doesn’t really come up in rp because i dont write nsfw. the way i view it is that he’s lazy and would rather you take care of him than the other way around LIBIDO.    pretty high, but it’s difficult for him to have as much sex as he might prefer because, uh, he has, uh, alien..............parts...........and stuff ..... like ....... some parts down there look different ....... so he’s stuck having sex with usually in the dark, under sheets, and he has to zip his pants up really quick afterwards. maybe it’s a little bit hilarious and i just think it’s funny idk LOVE LANGUAGE.    selflessness (which is big, for him, king of all douchebags and lord selfish dickhead the third), rambling to you about his day, physical affection, gifts, letting you see him without make up, opening up to you about his life before earth.  he might play you music, sing to you or write you songs if he’s feeling particularly sappy.  this is stuff reserved for people that he finds himself incredibly romantically/emotionally attached to, though, not the people he has one night stands with.  and he almost never forms any sort of lasting attachment to the people he sleeps with casually. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.    he tends to fall for people who challenge him in some way, who aren’t easily beguiled by his status and physical looks, but who aren’t outright mean to him.  that being said, he is very vain, and he loves being showered in compliments, praise or attention.  he matches well with people who can put up with his antics and moodiness and odd behavior.  he likes the idea of being someone’s muse or someone’s idol, so he finds himself drawn to other creative types.  he has the most intimate/special connections with other nonhuman beings, especially other aliens, cuz he feels like they Get him and he wouldn’t be really giving himself in his fullest form if he had to still play pretend that he was a human being.  for whatever reason he goes apeshit for goth guys/dudes with black hair who wear a lot of black.  he really doesn’t like people who are too much like him, because HE’S HIM, and you’re YOU, and he really wants it to stay that way.  GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.   there’s a whole album about him .......... theres a song called “ziggy stardust” .......  HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.    singing, music, writing -- he lives for that shid.  he likes art in all forms, so he reads, watches movies, looks at paintings -- he has a lot of human culture to catch up on, and he loves all of it, from any time period and any culture.  he also likes buying things, shopping, looking nice, gossip.  he tends to be a party animal (party alien?) and often indulges in more hedonistic fun. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.    his brain is not structured like a human brain. also, head empty.  no thoughts. FEARS.    being perceived as ugly or untalented, being outed as an alien, being rejected for being an alien, becoming a nobody, losing his social status, becoming a conformist, becoming “outdated” or “uncool” SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.    somehow sky high and on the floor at the same time. he usually thinks he can do anything and he’s pretty perfect, but that may just be from a solid few years of repeating that to himself and empty praise given by people who are just crazy obsessed with him -- he built his confidence level on a very shaky foundation, so it’s easy to start making him doubt himself and panic if you know what to criticize him on VULNERABILITIES.    a lot of things, and im sick of typing

* pay me 100000 USD to unlock my LEVEL 20 ZIGGY STARDUST LORE pack now with NAMING/TITLE INFORMATION, HOME PLANET CLIMATE/WEATHER PATTERNS and PAST OCCUPATION/EDUCATION information.  includes a piece of gum i found on the floor.

[uhpeach]

oof personal rant about boy and relationship shit below the cut it’s way too long sorry

finally had a talk with boy last night... it started bc they are having a stoplight theme party tn where you wear green if ur single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if ur taken and he was like “so what color are u thinking of wearing”... and i was like “green i guess bc im single”. but i said it as a joke.... and he was like... “oh well i was thinking yellow”. and i was like “ya me too i guess”... and he was like “ya idk i think most people will either be red or green so we’ll be some of the few yellow ppl which is kinda fun”. and i was like “ok. ya whatever cool”. and he was like “but i’ll wear whatever u want like if u want me to wear red i will”. and i was like “no. no pressure. yellow makes sense.” but then i was making sad girl face i guess and he was like “nooo stop with that face. you’re thinking about something what’s wrong” and then we like went innnnnn with like a convo about “us” or whatever the fuck.

anyways like the things he’s worried about when considering making us official is that he:

1. says he is an extremely jealous and controlling boyfriend? and he does not like who he is as a boyfriend so if he isnt technically a “boyfriend” he has no reason to get that way/can stop himself from being like that. which i like.... dont see at all. and like maybe he had a reason to be like that with his ex but honestly i dont do much or like get hit on so i see it as a non-issue honestly? like im too into him to like even need to be “controlled” like i genuinely want to do whatever he wants bc i just want to see him happy ? but then he said that when he sees me happy it makes him happy and when i keep crying like i have been it makes him really sad and scared that our relationship would be built on a bad foundation. and i see it as the opposite like in spite of what he has done and how he’s hurt me we’ve gotten past it and grown to know each other better and like each other a lot and im still here spending time with him so like idk we think about these things very differently i guess. 

2. he was thinking like soooo far in the future for some reason like... when i met him he was pursuing a finance degree in the business school but he like decided music was something he was really passionate about last year and since then he’s been like learning how to use like music production software and how to play piano since then. so he was saying like he doesn’t want me to see him as like a jobless bum loser when i could be with a guy has a secure upwardly mobile job making 60-70k right out of college while he’s like.... working as a DJ and practicing like music production stuff. and i was like..... what r u talking about like i don’t need you to support me? and if ur worried about how i’ll see you like i just want to see you happy i would rather see that than someone complaining about how much they hate their job and life every day bc like.... idk when you l*ve someone all you really want is to see them happy. and then i told him how i have bragged about him to people who like wish they could change majors about how he’s actually doing something he’s interested in rather than sticking with business school which he hatesss. 

(he started crying sometime during point two into point three)

3. he was worried about not being able to give me the level of attention ur supposed to give someone ur dating. like he was saying how he practices his music stuff in his free time but like when ur dating someone ur supposed to spend like all ur free time with them but i’ll have to like share that time with his music and he like doesn’t want me to feel like he has no time for me? but i was like dude i dont need you actively paying attention when we’re together like the other night i was doing my homework in his room while he practicing and i was just so stoked to be in the room with him even though we were doing our own things. and also like the people in relationships who spend allll their time with their significant others are people i get SO ANNOYED BY i was like dude... i dont want to be like any of those couples like of course i want to spend as much time as possible with you but i have other “relationships” i need to maintain that im not just gonna drop like some of my other couple friends have. like my friendships are super important to me, probably bc i have never been in a relationship so i like really do love and put a lot of focus on my friends, so if he needs time for his music and did need some private time to focus i would just spend that time maintaining my friendships because i love and want to spend time with them too? like it’s not that deep and i’ve been alone for so long im used to it.....

i think there was more but anyway he was thinking SO FAR AHEAD and asking me like what i want to do and where i want to go after graduation and im like ????? i .. dont know ??? omg ???? what does this have to do with like dating right now like are u never gonna date anyone again until ur ready to date them until marriage im ? confused? i.. legitimately was NOT thinking this far ahead ? but then he kept bringing up how like feelings fade and he like want to make sure his college friends are lifelong friends and how a breakup would make it so that’s a more difficult thing for us to be and im like i get it ? i have brought up that point to so many people like it used to be that i cared more about having him in my life forever like at least as a friend just bc i like him so much but now it’s harder to be like that bc i like him SO SO much like... idk imagining never having been official a few years down the road and just being that girl he had a “thing” with in college. bc that’s not what i want to be to him. like if we do stop liking each other i dont want to have to meet his future girlfriend or fucking wife and be like hi im olivia.. his friend from college. like just calling what we have “friendship” hurts so bad and if i had to look at someone he like loves in the future and call myself just a friend from college that would fucking kill me. like at least if we were exes i would be like hey im his friend-ex-then friend again from college. ya haha things didnt work out but i’ll always care about this guy ur lucky to have him. ya know. there’s a difference.

and all the things i was concerned about were suchhhh immediate issues like... im only not satisfied by the relationship status of like being a “thing” bc i want to actually be taken on dates..  and have someone who would be happy to like bring me coffee if im having a rough day (and like so it wouldnt be weird if i did little things like that too) and so we could like go on a trip together or like as it stands it would be weird for me to like bring him home for a few days and be like “hello family this is my good friend :) we are going to share a bed bc we are... friends :)” like you cant tell ur family about ur “thing” bc like o ur really good friends that care a lot about each other and have sex but ur not dating... like that gives parents too much to think about it’s gross.... and it would be weird for him to bring me to like his hometown to meet his friends and what not bc we are just like ... a thing? and i WANT to do that stuff like it would mean so much to me. but like you only do that with ppl ur dating and i want to be with someone who can like share their life with me and i can share mine with them if that makes sense. also u know what i think it’s fair of me to want to be able to call someone my boyfriend like. that is a word i have never gotten to use and when i like hear it in movies and tv shows and even when friends say it i feel like im being fucking stabbed. like i have never gotten to be a girlfriend and i feel like people see me as less of a person because of that, especially being in my 20s now. idk just like societal pressures are getting to me i hate being a sociology major im like super analyzing like the roles i am “supposed” to take to live up to what it is to be a woman in our society. like i have been a daughter, a friend, a coworker, a sister but i have never been a girlfriend and that is something i feel like an innate internalized NEED to experience idk like it’s just beat into you by media and peers and parents from when ur like a kid until you actually do fulfill the prescribed gender based roles... like if i am not a wife or a mother in my life i might fucking kill myself like ik roles and labels are meaningless but i NEED THEM to like give me identity and security. anyways. uh that was a lot. if u read all this and i don’t sound insane lmk!

[namea]

Goth Rainbowcy Challenge!

I’m sorry guys, I couldn’t resist. So this is my Goth Rainbowcy challenge. I came up with it for shits and giggles but I think it’ll be fun! It’s a 7 gen challenge that plays with different game features and goth subcultures at the same time. You don’t have to be goth to do it (I’m not) and you can play with vanilla, berry, or any sims in between. Hit the read-more to see it! Tag “GothRainbowcy” with your pictures. I’d love to see them!! <333 

Goth Rainbowcy rules:

No money cheats

No trait, skill, or gameplay cheats

Occasional motives cheating allowed

Appearance cheats free game

Choose the heir however you want.

Aging should be on.

 You can play this berry, banilla, or however you want!! I have a mix in my game so who knows where mine will go! While matching hair/eyes/clothes are encouraged like in most rainbowcy challenges they aren’t mandatory at all!

Gen 1 – Fledgling Goth

If no one wants to try and understand you, you’ll strike out on your own! Build a life for yourself and start a successful dark legacy of awesomeness.

 Start as a monochrome black white and grey themed goth teen. Choose any aspiration or traits and any style of gothiness that you want. Start on an empty lot. Choose any 3 of the following items to place on the lot:

Tent

3 small planters

Cheapest BBQ grill

Potty Bush

Easel

Ice chest

woodworking table

Instrument

Cheapest sink

camera

Achieve:

Don’t purchase anything else until you’ve made 500 simoleons. 

Have 1 pet. Have the following on the lot:

Cat: Cheapest litter box, Cheapest bowl

Dog: Cheapest bowl, One cheap toy

Don’t get another pet when this one dies

Get a job you slacker! Any job will do. When you’ve made 500 simoleons (in any way) go ahead and choose one extra item from the list to give yourself as a reward. Make sure you have at least 100 simoleons left!

Maintain a B or higher grade in school. 

Have at least 1 best friend who isn’t goth.

Have at least 1 other friend who is goth.

Have at least 1 enemy

Have at least 1 friend who is a senior citizen

Attempt (but fail) to get to know Death until you’re a senior yourself, then become friends with Death.

Upon aging into adult get a job in any industry you like and advance to the furthest level.

Upon aging into adult complete your aspiration.

Upon aging into an adult marry and have at least one child with another goth.

Build a house on your lot bit by bit for you and your family to live in. It can be themed gothy or not, up to you. 

Gen 2: Red – Gothabilly

Your parents taught you a love of goth culture and fashion…but they never expected that you’d hear the swinging sounds of the 50’s in your heart. It’s time to make your way into the world and show it what you can do!

This sim should have the Serial Romantic aspiration and the following traits: Music Lover, Self Assured, and ONE other trait of your choosing. Upon reaching adulthood they should enter the entertainer career and eventually choose the musician branch.

This generation starts when your sim is a teen. This sim should have a red and black aesthetic with a 50’s twist similar to rockabilly but more goth. Red hair and eyes recommended. To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Own at least 2 guitars and one microphone.

Have checkered floors in your kitchen.

Win a Karaoke contest at least twice

Have 3 non-goth best friends who introduce them to music as a kid or teen.

Have 1 goth best friend

Win a dance off against someone.

Reach level 10 of the guitar skill and singing skill.

 Reach the highest level of the musician career.

Marry a non Gothabilly goth.

Have one child with them.

Eventually break up and marry a non goth.

Have one child with them

Break up and marry another goth. If you don’t have a boy and a girl yet have kids with them until you have at least one boy and one girl. Stay with them or break up as you want.

Have a dog and a cat.

Max relationship with your children and pets. Be friends again with both exes before death.

Finish the aspiration.

 Gen 3: Orange – Steampunk

Music never interested you the way it did your parents. You weren’t social or loud, you didn’t care much for the 50’s aesthetic…in fact you worried you weren’t even…goth…until you saw a steam engine in a movie. You were enamored quickly and suddenly it made sense, the cogs and steam of the world. Brass goggles, corsets, clockwork and elegance. This is your scene. Your parents may not understand but they love you anyway.

This generation starts when your founder has died. The sim should have an orange, brown, black, and brass aesthetic or however you wanna do steampunk. Orange hair and eyes recommended. Skin too if ya wanna berrify it.

This sim should have the Nerd Brain aspiration and the following traits: Genius, Loner, and one other trait of your choosing. Upon reaching adulthood you should join the Scientist career.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Reach the top level of the scientist career

Have 2 cats

Reach level 10 of the handiness skill

Reach level 10 of the fishing skill

Own a woodworking table and create at least one of every option.

Catch at least 12 different kinds of fish

Have only one child with a one night stand

Never marry, you’re too busy!

Have a strained relationship with your child

Max relationship with your cats

Have only 1 best friend who is goth but be on good terms with as many of your coworkers as possible.

Earn the marketable trait

Own at least 4 high tier electronics

Fully upgrade at least 5 things in the family home.

Complete the aspiration

Retire after reaching the highest scientist level and concentrate on inventing at home.

Finally fall in love as a senior but don’t marry before death.

Generation 4 – Yellow: Pastel Goth

You never got along with your parent and felt cheated by not having a two parent home. Their aesthetic wasn’t as dark as your grandparents but you still try to distance yourself from it as much as possible. The cute but creepy aesthetic of pastel goth appeals to you in a lot of ways and that’s where you’re going with your life.

This generation starts when the sim is a teen. This sim should have the Super Parent aspiration and the following traits: Childish, Family oriented, And one other trait of your choice! This sim should join the social media career as a trend setter.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next gen starts:

Completely re-decorate the family home (except your parent’s room) replacing all black with white and the colours to pastels with some black accents.

Reach the top level of the trend setter career.

Own at least 2 rats in your lifetime.

Max the Parenting, gardening, and floral arranging skills.

Grow a cowplant

Earn a money tree.

Earn the green thumb trait.

Leave the house at night as little as possible.

Have 2 goth best friends

Have 1 pastel goth friend

Have at least 1 non goth friend

Marry your goth high school sweetheart

Have at least 2 kids

Finally get a friendly relationship with your parent after your first child is born.

Max your relationship with your kids but not your spouse.

Make at least 5000 simoleons with things you grow.

Generation 5 – Green: Cybergoth

You were always close with your parents but man that pastel aesthetic bothered you. Looking into old family albums you found pictures of your great grandparents and started learning about the darker sides of goth. Nothing could keep up with the electronic beats in your ears until you found cybergoth. With shiny blacks and neon colours you were home. Gas masks and hoses forever! Just don’t trip over them.

 Generation 2 should be dead before this generation starts. This generation starts when your sim reaches teenhood. This sim should have the Computer whiz aspiration and the following traits: Hot headed, Dance Machine, One other trait of your choice. Green hair and eyes are recommended.

 To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

 Join the programmer career but quit when you get to the career split and join the secret agent career in the oracle branch.

Max the DJ skill

Max the Dancing skill

Get rid of the pastel in at least half of the house

Reach at least level 5 in the programming and Video game skills

Win at least 3 dance offs

Have 1 goth best friend

Meet at least 2 aliens and become friends

Max your relationship with your spouse and kids

Have no pets

Earn the Mentor trait

Die before reaching senior age

Generation 6 – Blue: Victorian Goth

The death of your parent struck you hard…but not just with sadness. You discovered a beauty in the calm darkness of the graveyard. Poetry and art call to you and invite you to feel and experience that sadness until it leaves you feeling refreshed.

Generation 3 and 4 should be dead before this generation starts along with the parent from gen 5. This generation starts as soon as gen 5 parent dies. This sim should have the Renaissance Sim aspiration and the following traits: Gloomy, Art Lover, and one trait of your choice. Blue hair and eyes recommended.

To finish out this generation you should do as much of the following as possible before the next generation starts:

Finish redecorating the house back to its dark roots with a classical flair

Join the artist career and advance to the highest level in the branch of your choice.

Max the art skill

Max the violin skill

Max the logic skill

Max the gardening skill

Grow Roses, Dahlias, Orchids, and wolfsbane..

Graft to create a deathflower, then plant it and grow them.

Grow Roses, Dahlias, Orchids, and wolfsbane as well.

Paint at least 2 masterpieces in every art category.

Don’t go out during the day if possible.

Work from home as much as possible.

Have no close friends

Have a black cat. Keep owning one cat at a time of their family line.

Meet a marry a vampire.

Have one child with them.

Allow them to turn you the day before you become a senior.

Grow a plasma fruit tree

Max your relationship with your child but not your spouse.

Your spouse dies of “mysterious circumstances”.

Final generation – Purple: Modern Vamp Goth 

People talk about your family a lot. They’ve always been dark, your parents never came out in the day, and one parent disappeared under mysterious circumstances. They whisper that your other parent did it but you don’t care. You know it’s not true. You love the darkness but you’re a cheerful soul at heart. You grew up knowing something was different about your parents but it’s not until you reach teendom that you learn about your vampiric heritage and what that means. It’s time to embrace eternity.

This is the final gen! Thanks for playing!! This sim should have any of the vampire aspirations and the following traits: Cheerful Good/Evil (your choice) and one other trait of your choice. They should join the writer career and max out the author branch writing the story of their family. Purple hair and eyes recommended. Try to do the following:

Write at least 1 book of each genre

Finish all of the vampire lore books and max the vampire lore skill

Become a master vampire

Turn at least 3 sims and move them in with you

Own a coffin

Have 1 non goth best friend, turn them as well.

Max at least 7 skills

Earn at least 500,000 simoleons

Max the pipe organ skill

Destroy and rebuild the house completely or move to another world.

Thanks for playing!!

[cyanpeacock]

Realtalk(tm): Midnight Edition

MAN all that psychosis was some Seriously Weird shit . i keep thinkin about it

an d yet. im like, well, shit, in some ways, I Needed That? 

long Trauma Processing Post under the cut

a whole bunch was very, Oh, Okay, So I Was Right, and those General Things from Before (i.e. when I was a child) WERE serious mental health concerns, that still exist, that I need to not do a Mother on and go “it’s probably nothing/overactive imagination/just acting out for attention”

and a whole bunch was very, like, well, just straight up disturbing frightening psychosis, of a duration and intensity new to me, and despite the bizarre and at times inappropriate content, it brings me a weird kind of relief to know i went Totally Batshit outside in broad daylight and nobody ever laid a hand on me? nobody smacked me? nobody yelled at me or got REALLY funny with me? they just, uh, let me go batshit off on my own? i almost certainly disturbed and/or offended some people, but no Punishment was dealt??????

like... the only people who spoke to me were (retrospectively obviously, at the time not obviously) concerned about my wellbeing, rather than trying to berate me and shut me up for their comfort? although i did still react internally as though that were the case. but like... How Delightful! the world i was walking through is MUCH kinder than my “family” ever was!!! those guys just saw a sick person? and not somebody being “difficult/playing up/bratty/childish”??? wtf. i’m still kind of like, is that for real???

and a whole bunch of the Episode was also “oh. okay. that was TOTALLY actually about this SPECIFIC thing from my past that is not always in my accessible life memories, but That Fucking Happened, And Its Processing And Integration Are Incomplete, because my parents were emotionally constipated and didn’t remotely know the meaning of Mental Health”

some of it is Specific Incidents. a lot of it is about like... alternating fucking, like, total abandonment, then Absolute Surveillance And Control “We” Have To Monitor Your Every Action And “We” Will Punish You If You Do Not Comply To The Restrictions And Regulations

like ahahahha. okay backstory. as a kid-kid i had literally No supervision on the computer, no like, web filters, no time locks, stumbled across 4chan and whatnot far too young, nobody noticed for Years. which, uh, that is BAD parenting. that is REALLY bad form, and i was made to feel like that was My Fault, somehow. but hey! to me, this was normal! there was a whole bunch of weird interesting stuff on the internet that really distracted me from how shitty Coming Home felt! the computer is Fun!!!!!

and then!!! while i understand the INTENTION of this -- later on “They” brought in a whole fucking load of surveillance, moved me to the bedroom next to my mother’s so they could “keep an eye on me”, put software on MY school laptop to kick me off the machine, software on the router that monitored every single webpage i went on? i was in my mid to later teens by this point??? like, the point where most kids get MORE freedom and trust, not less?! literally i heard shit from adults like “we can’t trust you” and now i’m like. oh. oh, okay. yeah. that’s... not right.

now i was a quick boy and made myself a workaround in the form of an Ubuntu LiveCD, disguised as a blank disk that i kept with other CDs, and that lovely beast TOR worked some miracles for me. but like, what the fuck?? i was going to all those fucking lengths just to try and get some human contact with people who actually did care about me, Away from my hellhole family and equally hellish school. all the fucking Being Watched made me feel sicker and sicker, i was self harming more, hiding it better, hurting other ppl increasingly because i was acting in reaction to my own pain. 

like. you can’t like... go from total neglect, to fucking CIA levels of invasion of privacy. like, that’s abuse, that’s just going from one extreme to the other. 

that’s what was so jarring about it all? like, sometimes, there would just be Nobody emotionally available at home. that sucked, but hey, it’s what i grew up with, i was used to it. then other times, it would be TELL ME EVERYTHING. I HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. EVERY INTIMATE DETAIL. NO SECRETS ALLOWED. TELL ME EVERYTHING. still with No emotional capacity there. and i was NOT used to that. that shit made me “paranoid”. uh, fucking YEAH? 

like... anybody would get paranoid in emotional solitary confinement with people watching their every fucking move. shit felt like being in a cell with the guards walking past glaring at you through the food slot periodically. “come out of the corner so I can see what you’re doing” and all that. i developed like... so many sides. to deal with it. constantly fucking flipping over. 

the priority was and is Maintain The One That Can Do School. Maintain Him. He Can Get Grades, He Satisfies The Mother, He Can Get Away From This. and i guess i did? and i’m gonna get a degree, like, a real one, a fucking good one if i keep working as hard as i have been, which... well, shit, what else can I do? this is what i am Built For. but i’d be like, flipping over with a side that is literally a terrified child that bolts to its bedroom and hisses and growls at threats outside the door. and my mother would say shit like “i think it’s just your hormones.” what kind of wack-ass shit. denial levels over 9000.

man like i’m angry but numb to it? in a sort of, oh, okay, woah, is this what i was dealing with? is this the shit i was living through? and this was denied and minimized so many times, and so many people said “well I’m sure she loves you really,” that i’d learned to say to myself “it’s not that bad, she loves me really, she’s doing the best she can” when i was literally like... cutting so much i was bleeding thru my trousers at school? i’d been trained to just like, dissociate so hard i couldn’t actually name or talk about ANY of the things that were happening to and around me that were making me feel so shitty?

YEAH so . that was Also Fucked Up.

and s///pinel like....... wsdfsjdghhjd what the fuck. huge mood. wanted while I was a fun little entertaining creature that could do Tricks and Impress and Make People Laugh!! and then i got Difficult To Deal With. Too Much. Annoying. and wasn’t emotionally valued any more! And I Turned Into A Fucking Unstable Destructive Maniac. 

yyyyeeeuuup i definitely totally did the I HATE YOU WHY WON’T YOU LEAVE ME BUT I LOVE YOU WHY AM I LASHING OUT AT YOU SO MUCH DON’T LEAVE ME I HATE YOU thing. it was not fun for anybody (understatement). and i have No Intention of living in the “grown up” version of “I hate you but we’re ~family~ so I’m going to politely tolerate your presence while I’m numb or miserable.” i’m not about it. no sir no way no how.

YH. yeah. okay i’m gonna end this post Here because if i keep goin i’ll get so mad I give myself a migraine RIP. that’s kind of a Whole Bunch huh.

[queensusimar94]

I had a dream about @therealjacksepticeye

I am sure this will never reach you Sean but this is as close as can be to fulfilling my compulsion. See when I dream of a specific person I have to tell them.

It was a simple dream entirely unrealisitic though. It was Sean playing a collab game with Markiplier, Felix and Robin. They were all in one room on separate computers, but insead of using headsets they were just joking and laughing out loud. I was incorporeal, like a ghost. Floating near Sean just watching them play, enoying their sheer joy.

They recorded a few videos during the dream session. So to be polite and not disturb I was very quiet and tried not to move much. Occasionally between recordings Sean would get up to get a new Coca Cola Zero Sugar ( not sponsored).

They finally stopped recording and just played for fun maintaining the level of childlike joy they had before. One of the times he got up Sean returned with two sodas placing one near where I was and looked at me with a genuine smile. He returned to the game. Eventually the guys left and Sean began playing "Night in the Woods" ( one of my favorite games hes let's played). I was confused by this until he turned to face me and asked why I hadn't said anything during the time the guys were there and why I hadnt had my soda.

I didnt think he could see me and choked trying to respond. " I didn't want to bother you and I didn't think you could see me. This is a dream. I was enjoying even pretending to be near you."

Which is creepy asf.

He laughed and responded " I value you guys as a community, I know you support me. I think of you as my friends."

To which I burst into tears. He hugged my now physical body and the dream faded away.

The Jacksepticeye channel is a big part of my life. His laugh and his infectious joy bring me up from some scary places. Even though it was a dream and I'll probably never meet Sean in real life much less get to talk to him this was real for me. He was so happy and such a good sport it gave me a weird connection. I came on Tumblr this afternoon and saw people posting about Anti and how Hes taking over jack. How people watch the channel hoping for Anti. It hurt my heart.

My friendship with Sean is one sided I know but I value what I know of him. For him. The characters are fun and I really enjoy some of the fan art people have used them in but I watch the Jacksepticeye channel for jack. To see the sparkle in his soul and hear his giggle of joy. To see the interpretive dances and hear him ramble on about game mechanics. Because it makes him happy and im happy to see my friend happy.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 98 Poll Results

The chapter 98 poll closed with a record 1,771 responses. Thank you to everyone for participating. 

  RATE THE CHAPTER (1,711 RESPONSES)

If you disliked this chapter, you were very much in the minority. Only 1% of respondents rated it poorly. Satisfaction with recent Marley chapters have been generally positive, but this is the highest rating since we started the poll.

This chapter was so fire I had to call 911 after I read it

Goddamned life ruining basements.

Sadly, SNK is eventually going to end, and having taken the time to properly explain its unique universe and its characters will that day leave to this world the completed masterpiece it has the potential to be

I gasped during the "I'm Dr. Yeagar'" scene, but I almost threw my phone from excitement from the "Hey, it's been 4 years huh Reiner." I was one of the people that thought I wouldn't care for the young Warriors, but damn, this chapter won me over. Especially Falco. The awesome character building scenes, the mystery behind Tybur & Magath, the attitude's of the vet Warriors, and Eren's new shred of awesomeness made this one of my favorite chapters.

Magath is still making me wet with his humanity, Willy needs a hug and some Hellos D, I can't believe the East Sea Clan is actually a thing (eeeek) and if Falco gets hurt I will die. Also where's Annie.

I think the entire chapter could be my favorite moment.

Willy and Magath vs Levi for clean house?

When Jaegerbowl became SUPER JAEGER BROTHERS, GET HYPE EVERYBODY

  ON THE SUPREME CUTENESS SCALE OF 10-10 HOW CUTE WAS ALL OF THIS??? (1,721 Responses)

Because of our own intense fangirling after reading this chapter, we had to lead off the poll with something fun. Thankfully most didn’t mind and agreed with us that this chapter was packed with supreme cuteness.

Remember when attack on titan was dark? Now it's all rainbows and unicorns. Jk, I loved this chapter.

   ON THE BEST DAD SCALE OF 420-10 HOW GREAT WAS REINER??? (1,721 Responses)

It’s also nice to see that 84% of us agree that Papa Reiner was just awesome! 275 people disagreed, including one commenter below.

Reiner accompanying the kids at the festival was SOOO DAMN CUTE

Reigner is my favourite moment every chapter.

This chapter was great. Seeing daddy Reiner was one of the sweetest moments in SNK

This may be an unpopular opinion but Reigner honestly feels like the least interesting character in the whole arc. We have all these shiny new characters that are in desperate need of character development and all we keep getting is more and more Reigner. Reigner this, Reigner that, Isayama is starting to sound like a bunch of Bertholdts. Where is the love for Colt, Porco, Ms Exactly Right, Theo and more? Grim Reminder 2.0 also needs to happen fast.

this one salty anon saying reiner is the least interesting character of marley are you in your right mind or are your standards simply just low

  THERE WERE SO MANY GREAT MOMENTS THAT WE’RE GONNA BREAK ‘EM INTO TWO QUESTIONS. BATCH ONE IS THE SWEET THINGS. WHICH OF THESE MOMENTS MADE YOU SMILE THE MOST? (1,720 Responses)

I love how difficult it was for people to choose a best moment. “Reiner as Marley’s Best Dad and ATM” eked out the number one slot by just 1 vote. “All of the above” was second and Falco’s near confession was a distant third.

Reiner awkwardly avoiding eye contact with Galliard.

Eren spending one month undercover by disguising himself as Sad Keanu

Porco being low-key supportive of Falco and the parallels it draws with his own life/relationship with Reiner.

Falco's proud face when he guides Reiner to the basement.

  BATCH TWO ARE THE SERIOUS THINGS. WHICH OF THESE MOMENTS MOST CAUGHT YOUR ATTENTION? (1,718 Responses)

Basement Reveal 2.0 was our favorite moment. Twenty-four percent of the fandom couldn’t pick just one, making “All of the above” the number two selection. Eren meeting his grandfather and the mysterious Asian women round out the third and fourth pick.

When Reiner Meets Eren

The asian woman is about on par with basement 2 electric boogaloo but i could only pick one so im cheating a bit pls dont be angry

While you've mentioned all the moments that stood out most to me, I can say I definitely appreciated the variety of races drawn as they were distinct, reasonable designs. All in all, these are all awesome moments, it's hard to pick favorites in this chapter.

  DID YOU HAVE A FAVORITE MOMENT WE FAILED TO MENTION? (237 Responses)

You can sense the excitement for a chapter when 237 people take the time to gush in the comments section. If you want to read them all, you’ll need to visit the full poll results but here are a few.

Zeke's three-level comment about being a big brother (works for Colt, Porco and Zeke himself), also Zeke playing catch with Colt and Eren playing with Zeke's ball.

Eren basically slamming that baseball right in his gorgeous face is kinda one of the best moments!?!?

PORCO SMILING AT FALCO'S VICTORY

Gabi waking up. Those panels were so detailed on her face, I'm worried that little Gabi is waving her death flags. I almost had a heart attack because I thought for a second she was Mikasa when I first read through.

Gabi's relationship with Udo and Zofia and the "devil" line

Cory in the house finally meeting the fresh prince of bel-air

black people being not so stereotypical. they just looked like people, not over-cheerful big lipped afro hair stereotype or anything like that

The attitude and mystery of that old asian woman

  SEVERAL CHARACTERS HAD THEIR SASS GAME ON STRONG. WHO DID IT BEST? (1,718 Responses)

Eren’s “Good to see you made it back home” was declared the  sassiest line by a significant majority. Sassmaster Pieck was second with her slam about entrusting the Paradis operation to four kids. My personal favorite was Porco’s hugely sarcastic “We have some awfully bright officials leading us”, but only 5% agreed with me.

While “Good to see you made it back home” was the winner, it wasn’t without controversy. I saw several comments on Reddit and Tumblr from people who thought that Eren wasn’t being sassy when he said them. It’s possible I suppose, but unless a lot of has changed in the last four years, I find it hard to believe he was being sincere.

  WITH ALL THE NEW CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, IT’S TIME TO ASK AGAIN. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE OF THE NEW KIDDOS? (1,701 Responses)

Perfect little bean Falco wins by a landslide! Was there every any doubt? Gabi is far more polarizing but has maintained a loyal fanbase. She came in second with 16.9%. Zophia received 133 votes (7.8%). Colt received 98 votes (5.8%). The wine-spilling, multi-lingual, “not from around here” Udo received the fewest votes with 76 (4.5%).

Falco's smile, I just want to hug him as if he were my little brother/cousin ^^

Falco cemented his status as a cinammon roll. I'd hate for him to get toasted in the next chapter, considering what's about to go down in the basement!

Gabi's ego is charming.

CUTE ZOPHIE

Udo is the most precious kid and I love him a lot and if he dies, I die. (I keep saying this about all my faves but it's true.)

  ON A SCALE FROM 1-5 (1=STILL CAN’T STAND ‘EM; 5=DAMMIT I GOT SUCKED IN), HAS THE NEW CAST WON YOU OVER? (1,717 Responses)

Isayama deserves mad props for introducing a brand new cast and gradually making us care about them. More than 65% of us now have strong feelings for the Warriors and candidate kiddos .

Pieck. Just Pieck.

I can't believe I got sucked into Marley. This chapter just solidified my new found affection for 90% of the Marley characters, and even though I do miss the main cast I'm totally fine with more Marley chapters! Gabi went from hate to fave in a heartbeat. I must be sick? Not to mention all the pokkopikku moments... Honestly I'm in love with SNK all over again. RIP Me.

I used to not be very fond of the warrior cadets, but this chapter just filled me with love for those kids. My only problem is that I KNOW Isayama is trying to get me to sympathize with them before ultimately crushing my soul and having something terrible happen  :(

I still hate all the kids, but Reiner has got some brownie points with me now.

ANY THOUGHTS ON WHAT WILLY'S "SINGLE ANSWER" IS? (1,685 Responses)

Our single answer to Willy’s single answer is that we are all over the place with ideas. A slim majority believe that Willy is going to propose a genocide starting in Liberio, but there were almost 100 write ins with other options. Here are a few.

Definitely the elimination of Paradis

I think he found a way to turn even non-Eldians into titans and he will try to create some sort of balance of terror.

I think he'll give a long winded speech, and just when he's about to lay it all out, *loud boom* *lightning* Grim Reminder part 2

A possible solution for all of this is Eren eating all shifters and sealing himself in a crystal, like Annie, forever. We still haven't seen if Annie has aged inside the crystal or not though. I wonder if this is Willy's solution.

Someone will kill him before he tells the answer

High School Eldian Musical

I dunno.  But it sure as hell ain't anything good, that's for sure.  Just what are you up to, you slippery snake?

I have no idea but I'm 300% convinced that the Tiber family was in contact with the Reiss one the whole time (remember the "Armored - Braun" vial Rod Reiss had? That was Reiner's spinal fluid and how the frick frack it ended inside the Walls??). I think that will play a big role in whatever Willy Billy is planning to do.

I'd say gather Loki and the Avengers to obtain the nine titan powers, using it to control the the Eldians who'll win over foreign leaders and defeat Marley, then proceed to turn on said ambassadors as well as the Eldians they're controlling.

Destroy all perceptions that Eldians are the only ones who can turn titans and use the ambassadors as an example, bringing chaos

Dunno how plausible this is but...maybe he knows how to get rid of the Eldians's capacity to turn into titans, and that's his single answer ?

Either kill all non-Eldians or gain the coordinate and somehow mindwipe all Eldian and non-Eldians alike somehow. Or something idk. I just feel like mindwiping will come into play. Either that or unite Marley and Eldia and ally with the Asians and fight against literally the rest of the world.

Final solution, Willy Hitler

"We will allow the Paradisians to live in peace if they can win a game of baseball against our best team: The Warriors."

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  DO YOU THINK WILLY WILL ULTIMATELY BE THE BIG BAD OF THE SERIES? (1,710 Responses)

“Willy or wont he” be the big bad of the series? Gray morality wins. But whatever Willy has planned is making a large number of us uncomfortable.

This chapter made me feel really uneasy. Willy Tyber is throwing me off, and I'm really nervous for whatever he has planned next chapter. I feel like this was almost too good, too sweet, too happy. Something big is about to happen, I can feel it, and I know Tyber's gonna be at the center of it. I don't trust him, and I love that this chapter made me feel something this strongly. 

I feel like Willy's "If only the titans didn't exist" was a giveaway. Willy will try to remove all titan powers, either by killing all Eldians (he should know that's gonna be hard to accomplish), or by collecting all titan powers and locking it up idk how. But genocide is not out of the question. He might do it, but even if he does, I don't think I'll really see him as your typical "villain."

Well, damn guys... What if Willy's not even the bad guy, huh? He has shady plans of his own, no doubt... But to just say he's seeking genocide is too far fetched, in my honest opinion. Yes, I don't have a clue as to what he's going to do, but I'm not ready to label him a murderer yet. Maybe I just got charmed by that "Thor-like" haircut, but to me it seemed like he genuinely felt bad for closing his eyes on the treatment of Eldians, and wanted to change that. Of course, Paradis could be the scapegoat, but I don't know about that either. Oh well... We have to wait and see, I guess...

  WHO DO YOU THINK MAGATH'S INFORMANTS ARE THAT LET HIM KNOW ABOUT THE EXISTENCE OF "MICE IN THE HOUSE"? (1,678 Responses)

Eren, Pieck, P A T H S and Colt received the most write-in votes (in that order), but the majority believe we haven’t met the person spying on the inside for Magath.

I didn't understand what they meant by this when I first read it, and I barely still know after reading it again after reading this question.

I wanted to say the SC being spies, but I really think it's either other countries' spies or just mean other countries' leaders/elites had arrived.

It would be interesting character-wise for Magath if he discovered Zeke was legitimately (I have my doubts) conspiring with Eren/Paradis. Magath could be more grey, should he prosecute Zeke, keep it to himself, or join in.

Probably some competent high-ranking Marleyan soldier but the ultimate plot-twist would be Pieck (imagine Zeke being the one snitched out by his most trusted warrior)

Zeke. If Zeke's working with Eren (and not just talking to him but actually helping him), then I think it's possible that Zeke's sort of double-crossing Magath. He could act like he's interested in cleansing Marley by ridding it of the "mice," or he's simply acting interested in Magath and Willy's plan so as to get inside info on what they're up to.

  DO YOU THINK EREN HAS BEEN CORRESPONDING WITH ZEKE? (1,714 Responses)

The baseball glove was proof positive for 86.1% of the fandom.

I wonder if Zeke realizes that it's Eren with whom he's communicating? He only saw Eren once, when his glasses were off, so even if they met in person, I'm not sure he'd recognize Eren.  Eren could be hiding his true identity from Zeke to avoid being stabbed in the back for the coordinate.

  DO YOU THINK ZEKE AND EREN ARE WORKING TOGETHER? (1,711 Responses)

The majority say yes!

We should ask Pieck if Zeke is working with Eren... Because Pieck is exactly right.

Zeke has no side. He is with Eren but he will also rat him out to Magath.

  DID ZEKE KNOW THAT EREN WAS IN THE BASEMENT AT THE FESTIVAL? (1,708 Responses)

Zeke looked at his watch and gave Falco permission to escort Reiner to the basement despite it being almost time for the program to begin. That, plus the baseball glove, is enough to convince 72.5% of us that Zeke was in on the Reiner/Eren reunion.

  DO YOU THINK A REZ (REINER, EREN, ZEKE) ALLIANCE IS GONNA HAPPEN? (1,708 Responses)

We were a little more divided here. Most are convinced Zeke and Eren are working together but they are less confident that Reiner will join them.

He doesn't forgive but does work with reigner and zeke.

I can see Eren working together with Zeke or actually manipulating and using him, while Zeke thinks he's his pure cinnamon roll brother. But I don't think a Reiner/Eren alliance will work. Like why would Reiner want to help Eren? Why would Isayama want to fucking ruin Bertolt's life after his dead even more?

I hope Reiner and Eren will be good boys and won't fight. I also hope November will come quickly.

I'm dying to know WHY Eren gave away his presence to Reiner. like WHY take such a risk omg. I gotta read the next chapter asap!!!!

  DO YOU THINK EREN IS OPERATING ALONE OR WITH SC PERMISSION? (1,717 Responses)

My personal feeling are in the #2 red zone here. More than half the fandom feels that Eren’s appearance in Marley is fully sanctioned by the Survey Corps.

If Eren really had gone rogue & left Paradis, that means Paradis are one 1 shifter less so more reason for them to recruit Annie as Eren's replacement

Why would they send Eren of all people to Marley? Eren is very well known as a person who can't easily control his emotions, and someone who isn't very good at acting. Just look how bad he did in the Stohess Arc. If he was the only person who could regenarate limbs, I'd understand. But why not send Armin? He has shown to be much better than Eren in both acting and manipulating people. He was also shown to have some slight understanding of Reiner's feelings, so why not him? How could they trust the most emotional person on the team? Has Eren really changed that much?

  TIME SKIP EREN SEEMS VERY DIFFERENT FROM HIS 15 YEAR OLD SELF, MAYBE COLDER, CERTAINLY MORE IN CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS. WHERE DO YOU THINK EREN NOW LANDS ON THE MORALITY SCALE? IS HE STILL “ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS”? (1,710 Responses)

This poll result surprised me. On the far extremes, 253 people think Eren is a cinnamon roll while 52 individuals categorize him as essentially scum of the earth. The majority seem to be taking a “wait and see attitude” about his intentions.

"Eren is the same old cinnamon roll"  .......Since when has Eren "I will destroy all titans/murder these rabid dogs masquerading as humans/make sure your death is the most painful possible" Yeager been a cinnamon roll?  Sin-amon roll, maybe.  But even that's kinda a stretch.

I think he: is older and wiser, has a better understanding of the world (and how cruel and unfair it is, I think he's kind of emo) and the memories are affecting him somewhat.

war changes a man

This kid has seen some shit. I don't doubt he's haunted as hell. And that's pretty haunted.

  IF EREN IS ACTING DIFFERENTLY, WHAT HAS INFLUENCED HIM THE MOST? (1,715 Responses)

Close to 60% of respondents believe the influence of Kruger and Grisha’s memories have made Eren a changed man. Basic maturity was the second pick with 30%. In third place, 6.6% of respondents think he hasn’t changed and believe that Eren’s cold demeanor is only an act.

A lot of things have changed Eren, starting from him losing his family and friends, seeing the titans,fighting them and discovering the truth about them, his father and his half-brother. Also seeing the state the Marleys and Eldians are now. So a lot of things have changed Eren and turned him into who he is now.

All except 'he hasn't changed' but I do think the memories had the most affect. Hell after he got those memories he didn't even care about the ocean anymore. I think he realized that there was no freedom inside the walls or outside of them. Which basically made his original goal to 'break humanity out of its cage and eliminate all the titans' meaningless. Really sad honesty.  

All of the coordinate boys get chill eventually

Blurrier moral realization combined with his dwindling lifespan

If we remember the kind if shit he went through it's only natural to assume that he changed. Just like Reiner, all his childhood dreams and goals were shattered to pieces when he saw the bigger picture.

Revenge against the people who genocides our folks generally do that to you.

depression's a bitch

He's coming more dickhead than before that's all

HE'S CHANGED GIVEN THE GARBAGE CIRCUMSTANCES

Marley pizza. That shit is life-changing. Reiner can testify.

  IF EREN’S ACTIONS BRING HARM TO THE WARRIORS OR CANDIDATES (FALCO OR PIECK, FOR INSTANCE), WOULD THIS IMPACT YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT HIM NEGATIVELY? (1,703 Responses)

I suppose the bottom line here is that the fandom likes the new kids, but they like Eren better. This is war and people get hurt. A slim majority will not hold it against Eren if his actions hurt the warriors or warrior candidates.

If Eren manipulated Falco and doesn't care about him, I will cry.

I LOVE REINER BRAUN AND EREN BETTER LEAVE HIM AND ALL THE OTHER MARLEYAN WARRIORS AND CANDIDATES ALONE

Can we discuss that all the Jaegers are probably ruining the lives of the Grice family? Grisha with the original, Zeke playing Colt, Eren adopting Falco... Poor kiddos.

PROTECT FALCO AT ALL THE COSTS

  HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO RETURN TO THE ORIGINAL CAST ON PARADIS? (1,712 Responses)

No matter how much we enjoy the current chapters, these poll numbers barely change. A significant portion of the fandom remains desperate to see the main cast.

Although a few fans are impatient to see the SC, I enjoy to see that Isayama is taking is time and is not rushing this part.

I still want the series to bring back the Paradis cast while staying in Marley. I have the feeling things are about to kick into overdrive next chapter, with the landmark chapter 100 incoming, and I'd love it if the finale remained in Marley while having the whole cast there. Have Paradis left for flashbacks/explanations and the epilogue, the mainland's a perfect staging ground for the end of this.

I swear to Ymir if we leave Marley in this cliffhanger there will be riots

I want the 104th back.

With the reveal of the Asian clan symbol (FINALLY), I strongly feel as though Mikasa and the rest of the Survey Corps are going to show up really soon. I expect them to finally return on issue #100, but on next month's issue would be even better!

ISAYAMA-SAN PLEASE SHOW TIME-SKIP LEVI.

  WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST? (1,714 Responses)

RIP my beloved Vets :(

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? (1,695 Responses)

  ANY OTHER CHAPTER THOUGHTS YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE?

Hajime Isayama blowing my mind

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG *screams into the abyss*

With tgis new infomation its more liekly that the marleyans have sour cream

He [Willy] will tell the real story of how the titans came into existence, and by fusing all nine titan powers together you get the same powers as the original Ymir Fritz had so you can do some voodoo shit and "cure" all Eldians of their curse. Everyone gets to live happily ever after, oh, and Levi opens up his tea shop.

I really liked the scene with Eren playing with the baseball. He looked so calm

I really enjoyed the entire chapter. It felt like a break but it revealed a ton. I am so eager to keep reading.

P A T H S

Reiner looks so handsome in his uniform >.>

RIP Reiner's wallet

The Asian woman I need to know more

I appreciated the worldbuilding in this chapter. The festival scene in particular showed how big the scale was compared to Paradis. Leaning Eldians lived in other parts of the world and not only Marley, puts things into perspective about their goals. If Paradis is submitted, other Eldians would melt in the population slowly but surely. The REZ alliance or whatever its' called, is completely bull: Zeke isn't going to team up with someone going against his plans. Also Eren didn't mature. He still shares the same goal, but he became way more cunning about it thanks to Kruger and Grisha's memories. He inherited their democratic skills and would gladly use them against Reiner. He never forgave Reiner and isn't going to forgive him. Since Bert died and Shiganshina was rebuild, that alleviated his rage, but he feels like he has to take Reiner down.

It's not so much this chapter sucked, it's just that I'm so sick ok Marley, so I couldn't enjoy it that much

On a serious note, finding out that Grandad Yeager is also a trauma patient at the hospital was heart-breaking. But it makes sense: both of his children are dead and his grandson Zeke is due to "pass on his powers" (die) soon too. I wonder what he'll do if he finds out that Eren is his grandson too, is also a Titan AND has the Founding Titan power? Uh oh! Also worth happy screeching about: That symbol on the back of the Asian lady's kimono. That had to be a deliberate reveal? Is that the symbol of the East Sea Clan from whom Mikasa is descended from and will she reveal that symbol on her wrist?! Last but not least, Reiner gets his own basement reveal and Eren is in there!

The cult of reigner has affected the typesetters i must now retire to the forest where i will live as a hermit with the treefolk only coming out once a month to read the mangastream translation this is my vow so help me god and may the lord be my witness

I know I say this every month, but man is next chapter gonna be a doozy! Eren and Reiner finally meeting is going to stir up some feelings and arguments.

Is Willy going to let the cat out of the bag about the Tyburs being the power behind the leaders of Marley? Will the play be the true history of what happened after the Titan War?

With the reveal of the Asian clan symbol (FINALLY), I strongly feel as though Mikasa and the rest of the Survey Corps are going to show up really soon. I expect them to finally return on issue #100, but on next month's issue would be even better!

I think Willy is actually plotting to overthrow the Marleys and bring power to the Eldians Maybe he's joined forces with Eren and Zeke and we still don't know. I think he wants to restore the Eldian race.

I hope we get to know more about the actual history of "The Subjects of Ymir", perhaps in the form of a theatrical play on that stage. Where do people get this genocide thing from, only from the Nazi parallels? If Willy were planning it, then why did he talk about how the whole world wants exactly that to happen and how he thought up a solution to this problem? Really sounds like he's got something entirely DIFFERENT up his sleeve, and I guess it's got something to do with how Ymir created titans in the first place.

Is Willy going to let the cat out of the bag about the Tyburs being the power behind the leaders of Marley? Will the play be the true history of what happened after the Titan War?

Pieck and Porco are ALWAYS together what's up with that and also we never see Zeke's eyes in this chapter

Zhophia is a Annie relative, Udo is Naruto's son too (Boruto's brother).

Eren meeting Reiner has me so FUCKING HYPED for the next chapter that I so anxious for November. Isayama you damn torturer!!!!

Zeke is a majestic beast leaping for that ball.

Eren meeting Reiner has me so FUCKING HYPED for the next chapter that I so anxious for November. Isayama you damn torturer!!!!

99/100 hype is real

[siyupod]

Just Right

what i’m actually aiming for in this song is to convey a message of living life freely, even with how messed up the world has become. Everyone should be able to do what they want to without getting “judged”((DISCLAIMER:except for illegal stuff, that ain’t cool))  

By right, the world will still judge but its up to the person themselves to decide whether they want to take it or not. this song still has a pretty generic message which is to live life freely

Wk 4 

I’ve already written bits and pieces, of it. Mainly the “hook” and such. Again, i had to fit chords to the melody. 

Initially, i had an intro of the hook and then it goes into the verse, which actually have the same melody. As i was singing along to it, it just came very naturally so i just went with it first.

the lyrics for my hook is 

Life’s a pain, it’s a shame

we can’t be alright

It’s all a game, let them play

all we need is time

Jump around, messed up fun

tear away the night 

why can’t we be just right?

and it just goes into the verse with the same melody with

Your pointless talk, you should stop

get out of my sight

roll your eyes, one more time

you might just go blind

maybe then you can see the minds

of humankind

why can’t we be just right

this verse is meant for the people that are giving you trouble so there’s a switch in the POV. because it starts off pretty hyped, it probably might have reached its peak already, in like the first two verses which kinda makes no sense. Naturally it just went to the Woahs which just seems even more “out of place” everything is just way too rushed. And i wasn’t sure where i could actually go from there. 

I was thinking about the lyrics as well, for the second verse. i was wondering whether it was rude to people that are actually blind so i had even more doubts on whether i wanted to use it

As i was fretting over all those, i still continued to write the lyrics just by going with the flow and more sentences came out and there was this one that went by

Hold on tight, you’ll be fine

wipe away those tears

Dry your eyes, it’s alright

there’s nothing to fear

ANd thEN this clashes with the 2nd verse, with that POV thing since i am directly addressing “you” but for two different groups of people. I didn’t want to have such a huge loophole with that POV thing so i tried to change it, from you’ll be fine to we’ll be fine and dry your eyes to dry our eyes but the latter is just weird. I’m not asking myself not to cry either so it doesn’t make sense if i used our. 

So, i decided to scrape that initial verse 2 and replace with the comforting one, which is a lot better as compared to the scolding one, which might be offensive to the visually impaired. It’s pretty ironic actually, with this song bout doing whatever you want. Still the main reason for the switch was to make sure that loophole is fixed ya know. 

Wk 5

Since i’ve already chosen a path, i just went with it. Then another chunk of lyrics was mentioning those people that are giving you trouble, so i still have that “scolding” segment just that its addressed differently now using words like ‘those’ and ‘they’ so at least it’s “solved” 

Even so, i still only had like a chunk of like an entire song, i didn’t know how and what, like how am i supposed to bring this forward. 

i was playing around with the groove as well, like since i had this intro thing with my hook. i was considering should i go more muted and slow at the intro because the 2nd part of the intro, it goes “down”. its either i go high with a BAM and then everything gets hyped into the verse or it goes down to a more mellow sound. I was considering coming in with an e.guit as well with like a riff and stuff

an option was if i were to get hyped, i’d repeat the hook and then it continues on with the verse. But then again, my verse has the same melody. and by this point, i was wondering what in the world i was doing, this can’t go on. 

WK 8, it was pretty sad that the lecturers had pointed out that the melody of the song was similar with a piece from their time. maybe im just unlucky but it had to go?

it just seems weird to not do anything when u’ve been told about the issue. i thought for a while and decided to just come up with another melody. to be fair, i was also kinda stuck with where i was so i figured why not actually just do something new. even though there wasn’t a lot of time, i decided to just go for it. 

Wk 9; i came up with some lyrics, i’m still focusing on what i’ve actually talked about; the song being about social issues. As i was thinking about what to actually write about, i looked back on what my idea was in the first place. the previous work was supposedly a ‘positive’ song, mainly talking about how we shouldn’t bother about the negativity that people can give you. instead focusing on living life to the fullest without caring about what those people say or think. 

that was the initial direction i wanted the song to revolve around but as i was really thinking on redo-ing the song, it got harder and harder to maintain that positiveness. Maybe because i’m just too full of negative energy, or maybe it’s just not realistic. 

So i decided to look at what i’ve written in my proposal, i spoke in a more general way, touching on the topics of social issues. and i thought, why not produce something that talks about the current day and age. instead of being all positive and empowering, let’s take a step back and look at how far we’ve come.

so that’s what the new lyrics revolve around.

i don’t really remember what made the melody come about but it just came and i just used it. Since i’m somewhat mocking the state of humanity, the song probably needs to be a lot more darker and just give those sort of vibes. 

i started with

it’s the 21st century 

we are living life on the edge

because ya know we have to mention the timing, and that we indeed are living life on the edge. 

Polka dots and neon bright lights

over a decades long affair

this line touches on the past, polka dots gained its popularity back then, neon lights reminds me of retro signs and such.

i went for that drawl effect in the vocals, to give that slight sleazy, lazy kinda sound. it just sounds pretty “nonchalant”

Wk 10

more lyrics were written and arrangement has to come in, so the genre of this piece is pretty all over the place. My previous one is more pop rock but i guess that’s going to change. Again, i don’t really know what happened. a drum beat came out and i added on stuff. Bringing in the bass, and stuff and it just came. 

This piece came out alot more experimental than i expected but i guess thats the gist of experimental. right now, it’s a question whether i can still carry on from then forth or if it’s sufficient just the way it is.

i can say this was pretty frustrating since i wasn’t sure whether this was okay, that was okay since it’s some weird stuff. but i do like the vibes it gives so that’s that. 

i actually do like how it turned out, just a some more tweaking here and there and it should be “okay”

wk15

i tried recording the vocals again for the song, though it didn’t go that well, it took awhile for me to replicate the tone that i had from my first recording. i ended up not using the recording as the main vocal, i used it in the background so there would be this slight doubling that is going on, though it’s not very obvious. 

Mixing this piece was pretty interesting, i had to make sure the sound levels were even throughout, though there were different dynamics here and there so that was fun.

Raynard was in school one day and he gave me some feedback on my songs, he mentioned that i should probably bring the ghost piano up an octave if not.i should get something else to play with it. as the register that the piano was on was slightly awkward and it seemed out of place so i did that and there was indeed an improvement.

wk16 

this piece is pretty much done with the way it is, i just had to sort things out during the mixing process and it will be fine i guess.