#they were the only kinda foreign chips we saw but i hope we see more omg

[ragingtwilight]

tried V8 for the first time since its like never showed up in any stores around me before

that shit slaps bro

cold tomato soup my beloved 🥰

also tried cucumber lays chips?? theyre actually super tasty omg, theyre like a crunchy lil dessert

[write-like-you-mean-it]

Cards and Heartbeats

Being deep within the spider’s pit was an understatement. I was deep within a group of spiders that would consume my very flesh if given the opportunity. My heart raced faster and faster like a speeding train. Each and every moment felt surreal. Too surreal to even fathom. Is this what Illumi feels every time he’s in a terrifying situation? If so, it’s intoxicating. Control is what they want and I can give it to them. 

Chrollo sat on his throne of old, messed up boxes like a king who ruled his castle. Everything belonged to him. The outwardly feeling that Illumi refused to give off. His power was all-consuming and ever present. I had forgotten that Machi was there until her arm brushed against mine as she leaned in to say “watch out for Chrollo. He’s a good guy but he’s like us.” The pink-haired girl was as cryptic as ever; however, I knew what she meant. 

“How about I show you around,” she stated a little louder. Her voice gained attention from the rest of the troupe. Blank expressions mixed with sickly-sweet smiles ran across the group’s faces. 

“No,” interrupted the man on the throne. “I’ll do it. It’s only appropriate for a guest to be introduced by me.” My eyes flickered to Machi’s. She did this on purpose. It was a ploy to get me closer to him, and it seemed like it worked. 

The boss mumbled a few things to one of the people sitting next to him and stood up again. Boxes creaked with the lack of his weight. He walked up to me once again. All the breath in my lungs tightened in a fearful clutch. My heartbeat was pulsing so fast that I could feel it within my ears. 

“In case Machi didn’t say, I am Chrollo Lucilfer.” Rather than holding out a hand, he flashed another of his smiles. “I am the leader of this team. We’re called the Phantom Troupe.”

“I-I know,” I stuttered out. “I saw your wanted posters in York New.” 

The flashing smile left his lips for a second. “You must live in York New. Our pictures weren’t up long before I had the troupe take them down. You didn’t come here to hunt us right?”

The powerful Nen could be felt from a mile away. He was becoming angry with a hint of bloodlust mixed within. York New was a touchy subject with him. I took note of his distine for my home. ‘No,” I respond. “I’m not here for that reason. I’m here for Machi.” I lied. A simple lie mixed with a hint of truth. 

Chrollo softened his Nen. “Good,” he said. Even in anger or fear, he was in control over everything. He started walking towards a corner of the room where a group was gathered playing cards. My eyes looked towards Machi as she had turned toward another group of her co-workers. I was left alone. 

Alone was the wrong word. I still had the gaze of a quiet Kalluto who stayed deep within a corner. He rarely interacted with any of the members from what I could see. He pointed towards the boss as if it was a warning. My head turned to see the boss was waiting on me. I followed quickly behind him. 

“This is Shalnark, Bonolenov, Franklin, and Phinks,” said Chrollo. Each member either raised or nodded their head in agreement when their name was called. Only one actually said “hi.” It was the blonde boy named Shalnark. His happy smile seemed out of place compared to the rest of the somber team. “This is Y/N,” he finished while putting his hand on the small of my back and pushing me forward.

My balance was thrown off by the quick touch. Shivers ran up my spine as I felt the cold, calculating fingers touched me. I hadn’t been touched in so long since Illumi rarely used physical contact as a way of showing affection. “Uhm..” I said with a little fear. “Yeah that's who I am. Nice to meet you all.”

“Is she here to replace-?” asked the man wrapped in mummy-like cloth. 

“No!” added the blonde boy. “she‘s much too weak to even try and join. Her Nen isn’t even visible.”

“I have Nen,” I say, a little defensive. While I knew it wasn’t strong, I could still fight. “I’m just inexperienced.” Again, I could feel the boss’s eyes look over me once again. Did I have bloodlust? I know I’m not using Nen but was my anger too much to control? No. He’s just eyeing me up like a prize. 

“Maybe we can spar later on,” suggested the collared man as he came out of the shadows. His voice was more montoned and breathy than Illumi’s. I think Machi mentioned that his name was Feiten. His short stature didn’t deter me from refusing to fight. I knew I’d lose even if I tried. I would take one step and he’d be three ahead. 

“No, no,” I said while backing away. Fear made me run into Chrollo. I turned back to apologize but he was already moving onto the next group. “Feiten, don’t scare my guest. She’ll fight you if she pleases. I, on the other hand, would love to see your power in action.”

My eyes flickered once again to my friend. This time, she was watching from afar. Machi shook her head as a sign of refusal. I should not show Chrollo my power. As we walked to the next group, I wondered more about this man. Why was he so powerful that even Machi wouldn’t let me show my weak power? What was up with this man?

-----------------------------------------------

It was becoming late when I could slip away to talk to Kalluto alone. Most of the members joined in a large game of B.S. The only ones that were not playing were Chrollo, Feiten, Kalluto and I. After Chrollo introduced me to everyone, he apologized for leaving because he had a lot of work to do. 

“Hey,” I said while sinking into the shadows. “Is this where you’ve been?”

Kalluto, the man of little words, looked up to me. “I have been here. Illumi told me of your goal. Interesting that he would allow you to come here.”

“I didn’t want to come here.”

“I know.”

“You’re the one that told Illumi about Machi coming to find me. That’s why I got to see her.”

Kalluto sighed while taking another step back. He knew that our conversation was not for the troupe to hear. I followed suit but I knew I couldn’t be gone for long. Ever since I arrived at the mansion, I knew when eyes were watching me. I knew even more that Chrollo wanted to have me wrapped tightly around his finger. For what purpose had yet to be decided. 

“You’re right. Machi said your name, and it would become too complicated at that moment for us to be looking for you.” Kalluto took out his fan in hopes of blocking some mouth movement. He must know that the members would be gossiping if they saw us. Or worse, hear us. 

“I’m going to finish my mission. I did want to say that it was nice to see you. You were the first friendly face I found at that place.” I paused for a moment. “Also, I met Killua and your sister. They seemed nice. If anything, a little worried about my safety.”

“Killua took Alluka?” asked Kalluto. He seemed almost shocked by that statement. I must’ve said something wrong. There was so much tension within the Zoldyck family that it was hard to come up with each members’ feelings about the other on the spot. 

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled while silking out of the darkness. I joined the card game as if nothing had happened. I became a spectator of the group in hopes to gain some sort of pact or alliance. This game was going to go late into the night and stakes were getting higher and higher every second. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

The ground isn’t the best place to sleep. The nights were starting to get colder due to the weather changing once again. Machi let me use one of the blankets that was stored within a box. All other members had small cots or sleeping bags. None let me borrow them. My old warmth was the body heat stored deep within. 

A few hours of little sleep and tossing and turning made me decide to take a walk around the building. I wanted to get fresh air for the first time in a long time. Kalluto was fast asleep so I knew there would be no black eyes watching me. I wiped some crusted over sleep from my eyes and went for a midnight stroll. 

As I was climbing an old fire escape outside the building, a familiar voice called out to me. “You should be getting sleep.” The voice made me stop in my tracks. It was Chrollo. I turn to look at him. Instead of wearing the same clothes as before, he changed into what looked like sweatpants and a basic black shirt. Grease was scrubbed clean from his hair. Instead of looking like a boss, he looked normal, almost handsome. 

“Uhm - yeah. I couldn’t sleep.” My heart sped up with every word and my feet carried me the rest of the way. Chrollo followed behind. Instead of talking, we looked out across the desolate land called Meteor City. We both leaned on the creaky fire escape landing. The fear of falling hadn’t crossed my mind until a massive sound rang from the old metal. 

“Sleeping in a new location is always tough. Especially with the likes of us.” His lips spoke a joke in its purest form. There was no awkwardness behind it or malice. The feeling of laughter was almost foreign to me. 

“It’s alright. I’ve had to sleep with worse company.” The thought escaped my lips before my brain had time to register the meaning. No. Illumi wasn’t bad company. He was good and kinda my boyfriend… or husband. Even my mind couldn’t comprehend our relationship.

Everything was too much. Rather than talk, I decide to watch the stars. “They’re beautiful out tonight.”

“Yes,” he said. “You are.” His statement caught me off guard. I turn to look and see that he wasn’t even looking at the stars. Instead, his eyes were locked on mine. I opened my mouth to say something yet nothing would come out. 

I looked down at the chipped red color landing while brushing my hair behind my ears. “Oh, thanks.” I felt compelled to say something back. It was my job to get an in with him. Maybe this is what Illumi meant when he asked me on this mission. No. He didn’t ask. He forced me on this mission. There was no asking in Illumi’s mind. 

“You seem conflicted,” said Chrollo. “If you don’t want to talk, I don’t mind just watching the stars.”

“I-I’m not conflicted,” I said while looking back at him. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind at the moment.”

“You could tell me. I don’t bite much.” Again, I looked to be prey rather than a person. It was so much different than Illumi’s look. Chrollo was like a lone shark looking for the opportunity to sink its teeth into its prey. Illumi’s was possessive and manipulative. 

“I really can’t,” I say while taking my mind back to the stars. “I might be able to later. But, for now, I want to get to know these people first. I’ll save my query for another day.” A smile crossed my face as I threw his words back at him. 

“Okay,” said Chrollo as he started down the stairs. “I thought I should check up on my guest. Come down when ready. I’ll find you a bed tomorrow to make up for the trouble.”

With that, he was gone. I wanted to beg for him to stay. Unlike Illumi, Chrollo actually wanted to talk. He wanted to discuss things. He wanted to listen to me. He appreciated me. I could still feel my heartbeat pulsing throughout my body. It was stronger and more vibrant than it’s been in many years. 

I gazed back at the beautiful stars with a smile painted deeply across my face that refused to go away. Even if I wanted it to disappear, the smile would stay as long as my heart beat too fast to count and my cheeks felt hot to my touch.

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Full Masterlist

[drethanramslay]

Chapter 1

Pairing: Cassian X MC (for this chapter)

Warning: Light swearing and check out this post to know how we are gonna go about this mini series 😊

Word count: 3K

Taglist: @choices-love-affair @miyakokurono @openheart12 @trappedinfandoms @noboundariesplease @nooruleman @madampugzalot @sekizincimektup @dailydoseofchoices @choicesfanaf @choiceskaavya @junggoku @flyawayboo @whatchique @vampiregirlsblog (let me know if you want to added or removed from the taglist 😊)

Songs: Heartless by The Weeknd

I love parties.

What is not to love? The free buffet of food, drinks and woman can make a guy’s day. I had got off work and was hella tired but, at the same time, I was in a celebratory mood. I had just returned from the Caribbean, finishing another WITSEC case, with the witness returned to his family. The reunion was so emotional and the mom made me sit down and eat with them.

There was so much love there and it made me feel like an outsider. I’m still unfamiliar with ‘love’ as a concept. Be it, familial or romantic. It’s foreign to me.

My mom died from a robbery gone wrong when I was just 8 years. My dad raised me after my mom died. He used to be so busy and I think I know why. He was grieving and he threw himself into work so that it could reduce the burden on his heart. But, he didn’t make me feel neglected. He loved me and I often used to think of him as a superhero. The Sunday’s where we would play ball in the park are one of the many good memories I have of him.

He passed away when I was 13 years and it was the worst phase in my life. I don’t know why, but nobody was ready to adopt me or foster me so I was thrown into an orphanage.

It was hell on earth.

The kids there were so primal and aggressive. Regular fights would break out and I swear they were so crazy that it seemed like one of the kids would die. I had to sleep with an eye open all the time.

It was a very dingy and dark place. Water supply and living accommodation sucked. But at least, the school I went to was good. At the age of 15, I swore to study so hard that I could get out of the country.

I mean, Kenmare had its pretty sites and wonderful views but when it’s dark, all the monsters come out.

I got into the army as soon as I graduated high school. It wasn’t much but at least I didn’t have to go to bed with an empty stomach. I started saving up money by doing odd jobs so that I could collect enough to get into a university in the States.

So, I slogged my ass and got a scholarship to Boston University. I packed my bags and never looked back at my fucked up childhood. I worked on re-inventing me. I was no longer the scrawny and scared 16 year old, but I was the 20 year old heart throb, Cassian Keane.

I always wanted to get into law enforcement. Think of it like a tribute to my mom. I don’t remember much but I can remember some memories. Like how she loved baking and singing songs as she worked in the house. I do remember that she loved me so much.

But, the one thing I’ve learnt is that, you should learn from the past but not hold on to it. I wouldn’t have ever moved on if I kept on crying about how life treated me.

Just shove it in a safe and don’t open it.

As the lift soared to the terrace level I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head of all the thoughts running in my head.

The lift dinged and I opened my eyes.

Show time, Keane.

——————————————————————————————————–

It was a high profile party. I did see a couple of actors and CEO’s of various companies. They were all chatting animatedly and drinking expensive champagne in crystal flutes.

A band was playing lively music which could be heard through the speakers and the entire terrace was decorated with fairy lights. I was on the 60th floor and I could clearly see the sun glinting over the the bay, making the water sparkle and glimmer.

In short the area was sophisticated as fuck.

And I couldn’t help but feel out of place. I usually play off all my discomfort with my nonchalance but still no matter how much I pretend, I know that this is not my scene.

I took the overpriced whiskey which the waiters were serving and my eyes roamed around the party, observing the people, the place and the closest exit. It had become like a second nature. Observe, map the area and stay alert.

As my eyes wandered, it locked on to the most gorgeous blue eyes I had ever seen in my life. She was standing there chatting with a friend. Her luscious shiny brown locks fell over her shoulder as she laughed at something the other person said.

She was wearing a red number, which fit her like a second skin, making all the curves prominent. She had a great ass, not gonna lie. And her skin… It was caramel in colour and under the setting sun, she looked exotic.

In short one of the most beautiful creatures God had made on this earth. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her.

I could see the friend leaning in to tell something to her and at that moment her cerulean eyes met mine.

And it seemed like the world stopped.

People disappeared until it was just me and her.

She gave a confident smile and I swear my heart dropped.

She headed inside and I followed her, like a sailor to a siren.

It wasn’t really hard to find her among the crowd near the bar. Almost all eyes were on her, stunned by her sphere of prettiness. You really needed to be blind to ignore such a beauty.

By the time I reached her, I could hear the sleazeball of a bartender shamelessly hitting on her. The jealousy that I felt made me uneasy but, I shrugged it off.

What would I know about that anyway?

I saw the discomfort and the scowl on her face. She was struggling to keep him at bay so I decided to step in.

I mean, who doesn’t love a knight in the shining armor?

Smoothly cutting in, I spoke in a playful voice, “Did I hear that right? The barkeep’s giving away drinks for a kiss? Sounds like something the whole bar would want to know.”

The barkeep’s face turned red. “It’s not an open invitation.” He replied curtly.

“Or a welcome one for that matter.” The beautiful woman responded, her eyes swirling with anger.

“Then it’s only fair her drink should be free of cost to make up for the..” I leaned forward on my elbows and gave him a chilling stare. “…inconvenience.”

Grumbling he gave me the drinks and went back to his work. I turned to look at her, and gave her lopsided grin.

“You know, I don’t need saving.” She said as she leaned on the bar. I knew that she was going to say that.

I lifted my hands in fake surrender. “I just came here to get a free drink.” I had perfected the art of flirtation and with a little smoldering gaze,any woman could fall for me.

She giggled and took the glass from me, her fingers tracing the ridges if my knuckles.

“I must say, you’ve got great taste in uisce beatha. Most people around here think Irish whiskey is something they put in their coffee.” I said as I took a sip of the smokey whiskey.

“Thanks, I know. That’s why I ordered it.”

I chuckled lowly and shook my head at her feisty nature. She was something, all right. Clinking my glass to hers, I said, “Slainte. Here’s to you knowing exactly what you like.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, and looked at me and I swear, it felt like she could see through my soul.

“It makes things much more efficient. There’s no point in wasting time when you know what you want.”

With that, she waved a waiter over and took a honeyed cream puff off their appetizer tray, grabbing a second to hold out to me.

“For example, I love sweet things.”

Smirking, I took the puff on a napkin and pulled it towards me. “Thanks. It seems you live in the right place. Though I’d prefer some hole in the wall fish n’ chips over the fancy stuff any day.”

And that’s the truth. The amount of money spent on this overrated cream puff could get me some delicious take out and cheap beer.

She bit into the pastry slowly, letting the tiniest bit of cream coat her lips before you suck your bottom lip to remove it. My eyes flickering on to the luscious red lips which were teasing me and slowly arousing me.

God, I want to bite that lip.

“I prefer finding the best of the best. The challenge makes it more enjoyable.” She gave a catty smile.

She is one vixen.

“Sounds like I could learn a lot from you.” I spoke in a husky voice and I saw her eyes dilate.

“Maybe. But right now I was hoping you’d tell me your name.” She asked, as she twirled her finger around the rim of her glass.

“Cassian. What’s yours?”

“Adira.” Her name just rolled out of your mouth like honey.

“That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful lady.” I took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. I heard the sharp intake of her breath.

She is so responsive… Wonder how would she responds when I have her naked underneath me…

“Well, Adira… it was lovely to meet you. I’ll let you get back to enjoying the rest of your night.”

I wasn’t actually going to vanish but, gotta keep the ladies wanting more.

But what she did next, surprised me.

She snaked an arm out, and slid her dainty fingers through one of my belt loops, using it to pull me closer to her. I raised an eyebrow and she just smirked.

“Not so fast. I’m not letting you go without a dance.”

Giving her my signature lopsided smile I help my hand out to her. “I’m starting to get the feeling that I couldn’t refuse you anything. Lead the way, Adira.”

——————————————————————————————————–

The phone rang at an ungodly hour and I groaned.

I reached all around and finally found it amidst the tangled sheet. The bed was empty and it wasn’t much of a surprise but it kinda made me crave her.

She was amazing and the sex we had was mind blowing. I think she is the first person to step a foot inside my house. And she definitely was the first person to whom I submitted.

There were so many 'firsts’ last night and that just made me wonder if that was the end of our story.

Maybe I might drop a text…

“Yup?”

“Hey Keane. We have a new case for you. How long will you be here in?” Tomas spoke into the phone.

“Is there coffee and donuts from 'Dunkin Donuts’?” I said as I sat up, rubbing my eyes and eyeing the alarm clock on the bedside table.

4:45 am.

“Obviously Cassian. What do you think I am? An immature?"I swear, I could hear Tomas roll his eyes through the phone.

Smiling, I headed to the washroom to get on with my morning chores.

"I’ll be there in ten.”

——————————————————————————————————–

I got my steaming hot cup of coffee and poured two spoons of sugar in them before stirring.

“What you got there, Marshall Keane?” A bright eyed police officer eyed my cup. “Is it Irish coffee?”

I threw my head back and laughed at the stereotype. “It’s black coffee. Rookie, just because I’m Irish doesn’t mean I am every stereotype you have seen in your life.”  I patted his back and headed towards my office.

It was definitely an upgrade from my cramped up desk. I could sit back and kick up my legs without anyone saying anything. I had my space and I could relax without anyone, figuratively and literally, breathing down my neck.

And I could see it in Tomas’s eyes, the itch to promote me. My back to back successes in the recent cases and the huge underground drug bust I led, it was no surprise. I just knew that he would give me a promotion and I honestly, could not wait.

I loved my job and took it very seriously.

I found Tomas standing in, through the window and I entered. “Good morning, sir. What’s up?” I asked as I leaned against my desk.

“Well, we found a person who witnessed the murder of Sean Kelly by the O'Connell’s.” He said as he turned towards me, face grave.

“Shit. Is the witness okay?” I said as I picked up the file he had kept on my table.

“Yeah… I made Miss Lockhart familiar with the gravity of the situation. She is going into WITSEC and this is your case. This witness could help us in cracking the case wide open and we can finally arrest Killian and Maeve.” As he stepped out of the office and I fell in step with him.

I opened the case file and found what all they had got on the redheads. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

“Your witness is in my office and you are the lead in this case. You both will be shifting to Nantucket for the summer until the heat dies down here and we can get enough evidence. Then, we will get her to testify.” We turned and walked down the hallway to his office and I saw Nwosu grumbling in his office.

“What’s up Nwosu’s ass?” I asked with an amused grin.

“That would be the witness. She cussed him out in front of the entire precinct. She is a feisty one, I’ll give you that. I will just check upon the living accommodation for the two of you.” Tomas said as he headed in the opposite direction. I chuckled as I knocked on the door.

“Miss Lockhart. This is US Marshall Keane. I will be working your case with Tomas.”

As she opened the door to his office the smile that was playing on my lips died down when I saw my witness.

It was Adira.

“Cassian? You are a US Marshall?” She exclaimed.

I immediately shut the door behind me and she looked as if she had seen a ghost.

“Shit. Adira I thought I would never see you again… Are you okay?” I asked.

“Y-yeah.. I just changed into the clothes they gave me and I- I dyed my hair platinum blonde.” She said as she consciously ran her hand through the silky short locks.

“You look magnificent.” I smiled at her, as I took in the floral dress and the new hairdo.

“And you look hot in that uniform. You almost make me wish I had stayed back for a round two.”

Crossing my arms, I leaned against the wall. “I was hoping you would have stayed back for much more.”

A pretty blush dusted her cheeks. She looked up through her eyelashes. “Your mouth is nothing but trouble, Cassian Keane.”

I was going to respond but the phone rang, breaking us from our reverie. I ran my hand through my hair, and patted the man bun, trying to get my cool together.

“Okay Adira. I have been assigned lead on your case. It’s my chance at a huge promotion. Tomas is my supervisor and if he found out we knew each other…”

Adira’s eyes widened. “He would take you off the case?!”

“Yeah. If we were involved in any way, I’d be considered compromised. And who knows when I’d get another shot at this.” I have her my best puppy eyes expression, hoping that she understood where I was coming from.

“I know this is a lot to ask but, can you keep our history a secret?”

Her eyes turned cold and suddenly it looked like I was looking at a different person. “I don’t think it will be that easy.”

My eyes widened. The hell?

“You purposefully hid the truth from me and now you want to act as if what we had was nothing? Don’t you think it seems a little too convenient from my view?”

“Adira- Fuck it was everything to me but your life and my job is on the line! Can’t you understand?” I said.

She rolled her eyes as she looked down on her manicure, bored. “Fine. I will believe you. I will keep your secret, but you owe me.”

Tomas entered the office with a cheerful grin. “Everything good? Did you both get acquainted with each other?”

With glimmering blue eyes she sent a smile towards Tomas’s direction. “Yeah.. Feels like I have known him for a long time.”

A startled choking noise emerged from me, which I quickly covered up with a cough.

And at that point, all I could think of was, how truly fucked I was.

How the hell am i going to survive this summer?

hello hello we back at it again😎

the first two to three chapters will be similar to what pb put up so that we can get a feel of the premise

like, comment and reblog:))

[ellana-ravenwood]

The Ex - Jason Todd x Single !Mom reader part 3/5

Hi, my name’s Ella’, and I’m here to fuck up absolutely perfect families. Hope you’ll like this new chapter of Jay x Single!Mom, I think there’ll be only one more part after this, and um...yup, hope you’ll like it ! : 

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1, PART 2, PART 4, PART 5 NEWLY ADDED EPILOGUE : PART 1/3

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives​

__________________________________________________

                                                      ******

“Hey (Y/N).”

He dares to say, a wrapped package in one hand, and flowers in the other.

“…Jess ?”

You whisper, not quite believing your eyes.

Jess. Him. How ? After all this years, why ?

Jess. Him. Viggo’s father.

You don’t think. As soon as the information of who this is finally reaches your brain, and the shock passes, you walk straight to him. 

Jason, who knows who “Jess” is, looks at you with a pained look as you rush to your ex, as if you’re about to give him a hug.

And Jess ? Oh Jess. He has an infuriating smile on his face, the kind that means “I’m gonna get exactly what I want and I know it”, and he opens his arms as if you’re about to give him a hug.

Only you don’t. 

Oh no. On the contrary. Years of pent up feelings and resentment against him explode inside you, and as you reach him...You punch him right in the jaw with all your might. 

Everyone gasps. Jess grunts in pain. You grab your fist and swear because fuck punching people actually hurts ! Viggo, who went to stand next to Jason, lets out a laugh, apparently delighted that you just hit his father. 

Your boy knew about who his dad was. 

You kept ONE picture of him to show him what he looked like (and Viggo was very happy to see that he looked NOTHING like his father, but resembled you a lot), because you knew the importance of knowing your own identity. Knowing where you came from. Even if it meant knowing that your father was a total fuck up, at least...you knew. 

Viggo knew that he left. Right before his birth. 

He knew everything you knew, in fact. Because you never refused to answer his questions. You thought he had every rights to know about the man who abandoned him. At the same time, you tried to not be biased and give your son only the truth, the facts. 

You never spoke ill of his father. 

You always said you and him got along very well, and that you really were in love with him. You even talked about the good times you had with Jess, after all, you two dated for years before you got engaged and you got pregnant...You never spoke ill of his father, but you stated the facts. 

Jess left. There was no beating around the bushes. Viggo deserved to know the truth, and you weren’t about to make up some lie about his dad having to leave for some reasons. No. He left, of his own accord, just like that. 

Even if at the time you were in love, and even if he was always sweet and nice to you...he ultimately broke your heart by leaving. By not even having the courage to face you to tell you so, only writing a note saying everything was “too much”.  

Jess left Gotham city the day his son was supposed to be born. A few months before you were supposed to get married. That was a fact. And maybe he used to be a nice guy, and you used to be in love with him and all of that...but in the end, he still left. 

And though when he was younger Viggo couldn’t quite understand what everything meant, and why his daddy decided to not even see him, wondering if he did anything wrong...Now, at the very wise age of eight, he figured things out. After all, he was quite a smart kid.

Actually, Jason coming in yours and his life helped him understand. It had been just a little bit over six months since you started to date Jay, but it was everything Viggo needed to finally get it. 

Jess wasn’t his father. 

A father doesn’t leave his kid because he suddenly freaked out about becoming a dad ! A father doesn’t abandon his family, just leaving a short note, not even facing them ! A father, a real one, doesn’t run away at the first sign of trouble ! A father takes care of his kid, no matter what. 

To Viggo, the concept of a “dad” was kind of a foreign one. He saw dads on TV, in some of his favorite shows and such. He saw his friends’ dads. But...it was always just a theory to him. 

Dads were suppose to be there, to play catch with their sons, to help them do their homework, to kiss their booboo and read them bed times stories...But his dad wasn’t there. And you had to fill in and do everything. 

Viggo never thought it was a bad thing, not having a dad. Because you, his beloved mom, were absolutely the best !! 

But then. Then Jason came in the picture. And suddenly...Suddenly Viggo understood that having a dad was also awesome ! 

Your son knew since the beginning, since Jason took care of him when he was sick, that night you were suppose to have your first date, that Jason was definitely “real father material”. He instinctively took care of him, even though he didn’t even know him that much ! 

And though he was yet too shy and unsure about really calling him that, although he was still kind of afraid Jason would freak out if he did...Viggo realized, as his biological father dared to barge in today, that in his heart, Jason already became kind of his dad. 

Not that Jess guy. 

Not the one who abandoned him and left his mom in a deep struggle all those years ago ! But the one who didn’t actually “have to” stay and yet spend a night taking care of a sick kid he barely knew, and eating nacho chips and guacamole on the floor of a small living room as a first date. The one who didn’t have to stay, and didn’t run away at the first sign of trouble. 

And so, seeing you punch Jess’ goddamn lights out was highly satisfying, for the little boy. He knew violence wasn’t a good answer, but honestly, in this instance ? He didn’t care. Because he too, was mad at his “father” for never even wanting to know him. For never taking news about him, and suddenly reappearing right now, as if nothing ! 

The flowers and the wrapped object Jess was holding went flying in the air before falling on the ground with a loud noise. 

“How dare you ?! How dare you come back ? Today, on his birthday at that ?! Who do you think you are ?” 

You scream at him, holding your painful fist in your uninjured hand. Fuming. Viggo has never seen you that angry before. It’s kind of scary. Without thinking about it, the boy grabs Jason’s hand. For comfort. And Jason ? He squeezes back, reassuring Viggo immediately. 

Your ex straightens back up, and massages his jaw. it’s definitely gonna bruise. Damn, you had a mean right hook ! He looks at you, eyes narrowing a bit, and his next words make your blood boil : 

“Who do I think I am ? I’m his dad, that’s who I am.” 

Jess quickly realizes his poor word choice as your eyes turn a couple shades darker and you grab him by the shoulder...To violently bring him towards you and headbutt the hell out of him. 

He joins the flowers and gift he brought with him, on the floor, as you take a few unsure step backward. Ok, well headbutting someone also hurts. You see stars for a few seconds when...Jason. Of course. 

Jason is by your side now. And Viggo is too (you don’t see him, but he harbors a rather satisfied smile, as he sees his father shaking his head, down on the floor, trying to regain his senses after you basically beat the heck out of him). 

Your boyfriend lays a supportive hand on your lower back, and you kinda fall against him as your head spins a bit...It only takes a few seconds for you to get back to normal, but you stay against him. You feel as if he’s lending you his strength, and oh god you need it right now. It’s pretty incredible really, how he manages to soothe you in such a situation.

Jess gets back up once more, and, keeping his distance with you this time, says : 

“Ok. I’m sorry. I’m aware I just...I...I’m an asshole, ok ? I know. I shouldn’t have left. And I’m sorry I just assumed right now...I know I have no rights after what I did. I know I fucked up. I came here today to try and...fix things ok ? Glue the pieces back together. My sister just got a kid. And I went to see her in the hospital, and when I held my nephew it...Well it just reminded me that I...that I...That I screwed up. Big time. And so here I am. I know I should’ve called, I’m sorry. But I thought coming back on his birthday would...I don’t know, be nice.” 

“You thought wrong.”

You say, your voice cold and harsh. Not an ounce of forgiveness in your tone. Tt. What was he thinking ? That because he suddenly realized he was an ass, you’d forgive him that fast ? That you’d forget YEARS of trying to make ends meet ? Of working multiple jobs just to feed your kid ? That you’d forget how much he broke you, when he left you ? Not even saying where he was going ? Or why, exactly, he was leaving, except that it was “too much” ? 

Damn right he was wrong. 

“Listen (Y/N), I...I’m not playing tricks or anything ok ? I really had an epiphany, with my sister’s kid. I...I want to be part of his life ? Of our kid’s life ?” 

“Our ? Buddy, you lost the right to be his dad when you left eight years ago. As I was about to give birth to him.” 

There’s a small silence. You completely forgot that Jason’s family was here, as you’re entirely focus on that asshole that basically ruined your life (though the fact that his existence brought Viggo into your life was a blessing..the only good thing left in your heart about Jess, really). 

Your ex lets out a frustrated sigh and you think about hitting him once more for a second. How dare he get frustrated with you right now ? But then he takes the flowers and the gift back from the floor, and says : 

“Ok I see now is a bad time. Mea Culpa. I guess I didn’t think. I thought...I thought you’d be happy. That I want to be more in his life, you know ? I guess I really should’ve called. Ask for forgiveness before coming over. I’m sorry. I can see you’re busy so...I’ll go now. We can talk alone, later, right ?”

You don’t say anything, and glare at him some more. You don’t take the flowers and the gift he’s trying to give you either. He sighs once more and says : 

“Listen, we really need to talk ok ? I’m sorry I didn’t expect you to react that way ok ? Now I do realize you have every rights to. And I’m a total ass for barging in like this. But...in my defense, I didn’t expect you to have any...Company.” 

The way he looks at Jay makes your blood boil once more, and you’re about to punch him again but you feel your boyfriend’s hand on your lower back, caressing you soothingly and...It works. You exchange a look with him, and you can see in his eyes that...yes. Yes you understand. 

You should probably stop hitting that jerk in front of your son. No matter how big of a jerk he is, you’re really not giving a good example right now (oh but if only you could see the highly satisfied smile your son had on his face right now !). 

But it seems that Jess doesn’t quite learn his lessons fast enough, because he has the guts to say : 

“So um...I guess that’s my replacement, uh ?” 

You narrow your eyes back at him again. Did he just call Jason a “that” ? And what was he even insinuating right there ? Oh my god he had NO rights even making this kind of comment ! But before you can get to him again, and this time kick him in the balls, Viggo says : 

“There was nothing to replace, really. You weren’t there.” 

You often cursed your son’s smartassness, but in this instance ? You can’t help but smile proudly at him, even if you know you might be a bit petty right now. Eh. Who cares ? You deserve to be petty. Plus given the look on Jess’ face, your boy’s words hurt him more than a kick in the balls would have. 

“Outch...But I guess I deserve it uh ? I’m sorry about what I just said. About the replacement. I realize it’s not my place to...I’m sorry. I keep screwing up but...I really didn’t expect you to have company.”

“Oh yeah ? Were you expecting me to wallow forever while waiting for you ? Because I wallowed for about ten seconds, until I realized I had no time for self-pity because I had a kid to feed. All on my own. All of our plans to make it work pfioush, gone into flames.” 

“Ok. Ok (Y/N), let’s take a break in the bashing ok ? You can lash out on me later. When we won’t have an...audience. Please, let’s just meet later ok ? Give me a chance to apologize at least ? To explain myself ? Give you my side of the story ? No wait, don’t speak. I’ll um...I’ll call later ok ?”

“I won’t answer.”

“I’ll still call. And hope that when your anger will go down, you’ll give me a chance. I know I don’t deserve it, believe me I do. But...I’ll try anyway.” 

He shoves the flowers in your arms, and you catch them by reflex. He then turns to your son and says : 

“Happy birthday...Um...uh...”

“It’s Viggo. My name is Viggo.” 

“Oh, Viggo uh ? Like the actor ?”

“No. Not at all. You’re completely wrong.” 

He’s not sure quite why, but Viggo doesn’t want that guy to know that you named him after the actor indeed. He doesn’t want that guy to know anything ! He should have given him a fake name...Ugh, what kind of father doesn’t even know his own kid’s name ?! It’s not like you stopped him from coming to see him...he just didn’t seem to be interested until now !

Jess looks at your son for a few seconds, and then smiles sadly. 

“Well...happy birthday, Viggo.” 

Your son reluctantly takes the gift his “father” is giving him in his hands, as Jess turns one final time to you and says : 

“I’ll call you later. Sorry again, truly. I hope...I hope you believe me. Talk to you soon, hopefully...Bye (Y/N). I’m sorry. And um...bye buddy.” 

Jess finally leaves, and there’s a few more seconds of you not being able to let go of your anger. Of wanting to run after him, and push him down the stairs. But then...Then your son moves, and your eyes follow him. 

Viggo walks back in the apartment, passes Jason’s family, and goes into the kitchen. Without saying a word. Worried, you follow after him. Jason does too, so is the rest of his family. 

He climbs on the kitchen counter, and opens the window. He looks down in the street, his father’s present still in his hands. There’s a few seconds of confused silence. You’re still so shocked and moved about your ex’s appearance that you don’t even think about going to your eight years old son and scolding him about looking out the sixth floor window like this ! 

And apparently, Jason, his dad and his siblings are just as confused and lost, because they don’t do anything either. 

And then, after a minute or so, Viggo put the gift his father gave him out of the window, dangling it into the air for a few seconds...before letting go of it. 

There’s a second of silence, followed by a crashing sound and a “JESUS CHRIST !”...It’s Jess’ voice, you recognize it. 

Your son close the window, and looks at you with a disappointed look before saying : 

“I missed.”  

You don’t know why, but all of a sudden, all your stress, pain and anger from the past few minutes vanish and you start laughing louder than you ever did before. Quickly, the rest of the fam follows. 

He missed. Oh my god. That boy...

************

“...it wasn’t a very heavy gift anyway, even if I hadn’t missed it would have just like, knocked him out or something, nothing too bad.”

Viggo was saying to Damian, as he was helping Jason’s brother to put his actual gifts away. Damian was chuckling, listening to your boy. They were in the living room, while you were in the kitchen with the rest of the family.

“I’m...I’m so sorry Mr. Wayne. I realize this isn’t a great...first impression...”

“Please, call me Bruce. And then...It really wasn’t your fault.”

There’s a small silence. Not an awkward one though, as you look apologetically to Bruce, and he looks back at you with a reassuring and paternal look.

You smile back at him and feel strangely appeased. And when you turn to the rest of his Jason’s sibling, and they all smile to you. When you see Damian talking with your son about what does he think he got in his presents ?

You’re reassured.

You turn to Jason and...is that a troubled look on his face or are you just imagining ? Oh yeah no, you did just imagine it, as he brightly smiles at you and comes to wrap a tender arm around your waist.

“We can...leave if you want, you know ? To let you process everything ?” 

He says in your ear, and you turn to him, panicked as you answer : 

“God no ! I..need to think about something else right now ok ? And it’s Viggo’s birthday, he invited you guys, you can't go !” 

Jason nods, quite relieved, to be honest. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay and see Viggo’s cute smile as he blows his candles and open his presents.

But the arrival of Jess kind of...threw him off. Because no matter how much of an asshole that guy was, he seemed sincere when he said that he truly wanted to be part of Viggo’s life. And that was a good thing, right ? 

But as Jason’s gaze was drawn back to Viggo, he couldn’t help but feel a big pang in his chest. If Jess was back in yours and his life, what would happen to him ? Jason was already in too deep in love with you, and head over heals for your little boy, to just move on...

************

The rest of your son’s birthday went perfectly well. Better than you ever expected actually, even with Jess coming to ruin everything. 

Well, actually your ex didn’t manage to ruin anything in the end, because this party was a true success ! And one of the main reason for that was your son himself. He seemed to have completely forgotten about his “father” coming back, as he took his spot at one end of the living room’s table. 

“Time for the candles !” 

He chirped happily, and you all sung him the traditional “happy birthday” song. 

“Make a wish baby !” 

You tell him, and...Yes. You know exactly what he wished for. You can see it in his eyes, as he goes from looking at you to Jason, and then to the rest of Jay’s family. You’re pretty sure you know what he wished for

He blows his candles, making a wish that he doesn’t say out loud because if he does, it won’t happen, right ? And then he turns to the pile of gift on the couch...

“Ya don’t want to eat some cake first ?” 

You ask, knowing perfectly that he won’t be patient enough for that, but also will want to be polite and will ask his guests first. Which is exactly what he does : 

“Um...You guys want...cake ?”

“Yes.”

They all say unanimously, and Viggo’s face falls. He really was expecting them to tell him he could open his gifts first. He looks absolutely crushed, and slumps back in his chair. He looks pitifully at you, and nods to the cake...and it makes the entire “bat family” feel bad that they made this little joke. 

Bruce looks utterly panicked, and it’s kind of a feat, to see THE Bruce Wayne that worried about hurting a kid’s feelings ! You quickly wonder if he was a dotting father to Jason, when he was younger...Probably. 

Damian, who’s the only one who actually didn’t answer “yes” glares at all of his family members. How DARE they make that sweet child sad ? And sure, being sad because he has to eat cake and can’t open his present yet is kind of very childish and...Oh but he IS a kid right ? So allow him be bummed out ! And therefor, Damian glares some more. 

Tim and Cass are properly mortified that Viggo didn’t seem to understand their jokes. It makes Cassandra want to speak soothing words to him, forcing herself to get out every words she can muster, while Tim freezes, not sure what to do or what to say because now he’s afraid he’ll only make the situation worst...Dick quickly says : 

“Oh kiddo, we were totally joking ! Of course you can open your gift now, the cake can wait !”

Viggo’s smile comes back at once, and it turns into a mischievous grin as he says : 

“Got ya ! You should see your faces, hilarious !” 

And then he jumps off his chair to rush to his presents. You and Jason (who by now was used to your son’s antics) roll your eyes as you witness Bruce, Dick, Tim, Damian and Cassandra’s “shocked” face as the kid completely played them, making them think he was actually sad. Damn it. Smart one. They really thought this little boy was...oh, all of a sudden all of Jason’s stories about this little smartass made sense ! 

************

“...That’s fo-for me ?” 

Viggo asks, not quite sure he can believe his eyes as he holds a brand new PlayStation 4 in his hands, staring at it as if it’s the greatest thing he ever saw.

“Um, yes, yes it is. Jason said you didn’t have one...R-right ?”

It kind of totally adorable, to see Bruce Wayne stumbles on his word in front of your son, unsure if he did the right thing or not. 

It’s funny, as Jason looks at his father, he has a flashback at when he first arrived at Wayne’s Manor. Back then too, Bruce was quite stressed about doing the right things. Dick and Jason exchange a knowing look. Both of them “experienced” that shy side of Bruce...By the time Tim and Cass came in, Bruce kinda knew what he was suppose to do. 

But with Dick and Jason ? Oh he was so often confused. “Alfred, they can have ice cream for dinner, right ?” It was a lot of questions and not many answers. 

Jason looked fondly upon Viggo and his father interacting, and he was pretty sure he heard his heart slowly bursting when Viggo calmly settled his new PlayStation on a side, got on his feet, solemnly walked towards Bruce and asked politely :

“May I hug you ? Please ?” 

You were pretty sure you “awed” aloud too. Your son was such a sweet little man...You know that he wanted to rush to Bruce and hug the hell out of him, but since he didn’t know him very much and wasn’t too sure either of how to ask...It was just so cute, how he was being so serious while asking for a hug !

“Um...Yes. Yes of course.” 

And oh Bruce was in for a treat because when your son gave a hug ? He gave a hug. Your little boy says “thank you, sir” a bit formally and then...he lunges at Jason’s father with all his might, and circled his arms around the man’s neck tightly.

“Thank you so much for the PS4 I love it, oh my god thank you it’s too much I can’t accept it, thanks a lot for it ! I don’t think I can get it because it’s too much...but thank you !” 

Bruce answers to the hug by wrapping his own arms around your boy, and is even more confused than before as your son keep saying he can’t accept the gift, but that it’s also the best gift ever and he can’t wait to try it, while not being able to accept it...You chuckle and once again, you’re so proud to have raised such a cute little one, who understands the value of things. 

Of course, he’ll accept the PlayStation (you’ve never been able to afford one for him...), but you’re just so proud of him right now, for even thinking about refusing the gift because it’s a bit too much. You’re too happy he can finally have a console though. Of course, he wasn’t a poor little boy cause he didn’t have one, but it was nice, that for once, he could have the same things his classmates had. 

Viggo hugs Bruce for two long and cute minutes, and you can see the man slowly relaxing in your son’s arms. Too sweet for this world. When your boy finally let’s go, he smiles widely and then goes to hug his new PlayStation, repeating “I love it I love it” multiple times before he realizes it’s a bit rude to not open his other gifts...

He stands up and takes another one. 

“That’s from me !” 

Damian says with a smile, clearly eager to see the boy’s reaction. And when your son tears open the box...

“OH MY GOD !!” 

He yells, and then all you see is your little eight year old kid running around the living room screaming happily and...the hell did he just get ?

When your son finally calms down, and puts the box on the floor to then proceed on literally jumping on Damian, you finally see what’s the matter. 

“Cheese Viking VR”. A virtual helmet with the entire “Cheese Viking” game saga. It was suppose to be sold out, and new production for it was running slow, as the company didn’t expect to sell that many sets...It was probably a pain to find. No wonder, Damian looked so proud of himself ! 

Jason couldn’t believe his eyes, as he saw his bratty little brother hug Viggo back gladly, and smiling fondly at the kid. He knew they somewhat bonded when you meet them at the arcade room, but it was still a surprise. A pleasant one. 

Viggo finally calmed down a second time, and went to sit on the couch, saying :

“Ok guys, if you have any more of this kind of surprises, you need to tell me. Because I don’t think my heart can handle it right now...” your little one says, but it seems like Dick, Tim and Cassandra don’t think their gift will outmatch Bruce’s or Damian’s. 

But they’re wrong. They don’t outmatch it, no, but they make your boy as happy as the PlayStation and the Cheese Viking VR set. 

Tim gives him a “little chemist set”, and coincidentally, it was exactly the one that your son always wanted but that you could never afford...You had to tell Viggo to be patient, or he would have started experiencing there and there, forgetting the world around him. 

Dick gives him an electric skateboard with all the safety gears, and your son just couldn’t believe that this was just for him. He never saw that many toys and such in the same room ! All for him !! 

And when Cassandra gave him basically every single action figure in existence about his favorite TV show, you were pretty sure your kid was gonna faint right in the middle of the room. 

He gave away many hugs, and said the sentence “I can’t believe this is for me !” a hundred times. This was the first time in your life that you saw your son not having a smart come back ! It was quite something, really ! And oh it was so nice to see your son’s personality making everyone around him beam ! 

When you saw everyone together, gathered in that tiny living room, you wouldn’t believe that just a few hours ago you were all almost perfect stranger ! That this was your first meeting ! 

In fact, it felt like you’d been a family since the beginning of time. That Viggo was yours and Jason’s son, and that you were having his uncles and aunt, and his grandfather, over for his birthday...It really REALLY felt like it. 

It kinda freaked you out, when you realized this, but also made you incredibly happy. Because your boy ? He deserved to have great uncles and aunt, and a grandfather like the goddamn Bruce Wayne ! And most of all...a dad like Jason, who had absolutely no intention to ever leave (he made that clear on your first date). 

But for now, you shook those pleasant thoughts away, a bit afraid you were getting too carried away, and turned to Jason and your boy as it was your boyfriend’s turn to give him a present. Finally. 

“Um, seeing what everyone got you, I’m not sure my present will be that great...”

He says shyly, and you know it was a big deal when none of his siblings teased him about it. The wasn't as big as what his sibling’s or dad got for him, but you were pretty sure it made Viggo almost cry. 

It was just a simple notebook. At first, Viggo was very confused about it...until he opened it. And discovered that inside, all the pages were covered with “personalized gift cards” Jason drew himself.  

It almost made YOU cry too. It was so sweet, and personal, and Jason clearly put a lot of work into it ! It was full of little actives Viggo could do with “The Jason”. Some were simple, like just “a game of catch” or “an afternoon playing Cheese Viking”, while some others were rather big like : “going to see a Baseball match of your fav team at Gotham’s Stadium” or “A week-end in Disneyworld” ! 

Your son gave Jason the biggest hug he ever gave, and refused to let go for quite a while. And when he finally took a few steps from Jay, Viggo whispered :

“Thanks, dad.”

Which made Jason freeze. He was pretty sure he was the only one that heard Viggo used this word, and that the boy himself didn’t even realize what he had just say. What he had just done to Jason’s heart. 

Jason hadn’t felt this happy since before his death. Of course, you and Viggo made him extremely happy those past few months but right now, as the kid called him “dad” in the most natural way in the World...Jason’s heart just couldn’t stop beating. He felt the same way than that day Bruce told him he was going to adopt him. 

But his happiness was cut short by a dark thought slowly casting its shadow in his mind...

Jess.

************

Laying next to you in the bed he found himself sharing with you more often than not now, Jason couldn’t sleep.  

Probably because you went through a lot of emotions today, you were completely out and were lightly snoring next to him, unaware of his inner turmoil. Unaware that he was overthinking everything. Clinging to his arm sweetly. 

Jess’ arrival today, he realized now, touched him more than he initially thought. 

He didn’t want this jerk to slowly crawl in his thoughts, but he couldn’t help it. 

It was all because Viggo called him “dad”, and made him realize that...He wanted to be that kid’s dad. But he couldn’t really, could he ? Because he actually already had a father, and this father came back today, and was finally willing to come into his kid’s life.

Jason couldn't stop thinking about one thing...What if...What if his own father repented ? What if his own father decided to come back in his life, and start anew ? What if his own father didn’t get into the wrong criminal businesses and got killed, and came to Wayne Manor to ask for his son back ? 

Jason was pretty sure he would have forgiven him, because it was his dad. Sure Viggo’s and his situation were different. Jason did live with his father for a while when he was a kid, and with his mother, before leaving for Wayne Manor because they got killed. 

And both his parents were abusive and mistreated him...But still. If Viggo had the chance to have his dad back in his life, shouldn’t he take it ? No matter how much Jess screwed up ? Didn’t he deserve a second chance ? 

Jason couldn’t stop but think about “what if” his own parents got cleaned and came back for him. What if his own parents actually wanted him, and begged him to come back...What would Jason have done ? 

What would he have become ? Would his life get so fucked up ? 

Probably not. He wasn’t mad at Bruce anymore, and he knew that his adopted father loved him deeply...but if eight years old Jason had the choice to have a normal life, with normal parents, and to avoid this world of pain that he had to go through...Wouldn’t it have been fairer to take this chance ? 

If his parents came for him, if they did everything to get better and go on the path of redemption...Jason was pretty sure that he would have gone back to them, and it was a fact that then, he would never have died. He would never have been so angry. He would...

Ugh. It was so complicated. On one hand Jason viewed Bruce as his father, and only him, because he was the only one who ever acted as a father towards him. But what if his own father came back ? Wouldn’t have it been better for him ? 

Jason couldn’t sleep. He kept thinking over and over again about how genuine Jess looked. And how hurt Viggo looked when he threw that gift out of the window. 

Jay was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed it, but for a micro-second, Viggo looked like he was about to cry. Looked like he regretted throwing the gift away. And during his birthday, when he thought no one was looking, the boy kept looking back at the entrance door with a thoughtful look. 

“What if my own parents came back to get me and take care of me ? Would I forgive the years of abuse and would it be best for me to leave  with them to avoid the world of pain Bruce’s life brought me ?”

Sure, Jason willingly jumped into Bruce’s night life. Because for the first time in his life, he found someone that actually cared about him ! He wanted to make him proud ! Plus it was fun...but we all know how that ended. 

He kept thinking over and over again. He knew for a fact that Viggo could NOT come into his vigilante’s world. Ever. But then again, Jason knew he would never stop fighting crime. 

Maybe Viggo and you were better off without him, and instead would have a better chance at a normal life with...Jess ?

It hurt like hell, to realize that maybe that was it. That maybe it was better for both you and your son to stay away from him. 

It’s funny. So far, he had been kind of lying to himself, always thinking that he’d talk about this all Red Hood ordeal one day, in the future. Always saying he’ll tell you all about it “one day”. But never doing so because he knows that as soon as he says the truth, things will forever change. 

You and Viggo will be in danger all your life, just for being associated with him and...goddamnit what was he even thinking ?! That he could just have a family with you ? Be a dad to Viggo ? After only six months of relationship ?! 

He clearly didn’t think any of this through. He wanted, to be that kid’s dad. For the first time in his life he knew he was in love, he knew he wanted to spend his life with you...Six months or six years wouldn’t make any difference, he just knew his feeling would never change. He knew he didn’t want to touch anyone else but you. Kiss anyone else but you. Make love to anyone else but you. 

He knew he didn’t want to give his heart to anyone else but you...You and Viggo. He didn’t want to say anyone else’s name the way he said yours. He didn’t...He knew he would never love again the way he loves you. 

But this wasn’t about only him now, was it ? He couldn’t be that selfish, and thrust you into his dark world like that. What would you say, if you knew how many people he killed ? If you knew he actually died himself, and came back to life ? If you knew...the him from the night ? 

So far, things were blissful. Things were peaceful. Things were beautiful. 

Whenever he came over to your place, it felt like you, him and Viggo were a little family. It felt good, and so easy. 

But...Oh god ! He couldn’t believe he allowed himself to be seen THAT MUCH in public with his BROTHERS that day at the arcade ! When it was just you and him, or you, him and Viggo, it was fine, because he became an expert in being able to hide the fact he was Jason Todd-Wayne, one of Bruce Wayne’s heir. 

But Damian and Tim ? Everyone knew who they were wherever they went. Especially Damian, who looked so much like Bruce and had such amazing feature like his eyes or darker skin !  

Apparently no one saw you all together that day, as no picture had been released but...what if ? Then you would have become the face of every single newspaper in Gotham. Worst, Viggo would have been plastered everywhere ! 

That alone would put your life and your son’s life on the line ! Being associated with such a powerful family was quite something...but then if it turned “Gotham Official” between you two, he would HAVE to talk about Red Hood and then the threat would be doubled...

Jesus. This was all so painful. Everything. This all realization. 

The fact that Jess was now back in the picture and was really Viggo’s rightful father. And this all Wayne/Red Hood thing...He...he couldn’t do that to you, he couldn’t be that selfish...could he ?

You moved closer to him in your sleep, and threw one of your leg over his waist. And it’s with a heavy and painful heart that Jason softly kissed the crown of your head. Tenderly showered your face with peppered kisses...And resolved himself to take a harsh decision. 

************

The next day, you woke up to an empty bed. 

Which was odd. Usually, even if he would he awake before you, Jason would always still be in bed with you...Weird. 

You stood up and went to the kitchen and...here he was. He was making breakfast for Viggo. Cute. But...when he looked at you, did you see a flash of pain going through his eyes ? Or did you just imagine it ? You weren't sure. 

But when you went to kiss him to say “hello”, his kiss back felt strangely distant. Very unlike him. Usually, he would be so into it, and smile widely afterward...

“Ok I made some breakfast for you too. I’m sorry I have to run, I have important business back at home, see you later ?” 

“Um, ok...” 

He leaves with a quick “See ya Viggo”. No kiss goodbye to you, as he always gave you. And no kiss on your son’s forehead either. 

Odd. You and Viggo exchange a knowing look...

************

You tried to remember everything you did with Jason in the past few days that could have changed his mood that much. 

Jesus (Y/N) think, THINK ! 

But you couldn’t recall doing anything to Jason that would justify his behavior...Why, all of a sudden, was he always too busy to see you ? Why would he refuse to go out in public ? Why was he coming over less and less ? 

He kept telling you that is was because there was a lot of work back at Wayne inc but, so far, he always managed to make time for you...or were you just being jealous and too selfish because he spend less time with you ? 

Yes, that was probably it. You were being a kid, this was defenitely nothing and he would eventually stop being so busy. 

************

Jess called you back a few days after Viggo’s birthday, and you told him to fuck off. But he kept calling and calling and calling...

“Maybe you should give him a chance, you know ?” 

Jason’s words surprise you, and you turn a confuse look to him : 

“I told you what he did to us, right ?”

“Yes, but I’m a strong believer in everyone deserving a second chance.” 

His words kept fighting in your head, over and over again...

************

And Jason kept being busier and busier. Having less and less time for you and Viggo. It got even worst when you finally accepted for Jess to come and see you (not Viggo yet) and talk. 

Viggo was at school, and you were talking with Jess in your kitchen when Jason came in...He immediately apologized and though you said Jess was about to leave, Jason still left. 

And oh you hated that judgemental look Jess gave you, as if he was saying : “wow, great boyfriend you got there” ! 

Because Jason was great. He really was ! He was the damn best. He was the perfect boyfriend. He cared for your son, and was always so affectionate towards you ! He always had great thoughts, and was just so sweet ! 

He was perfect ! 

But...you guessed perfection didn’t exist, as you felt you and him were slowly growing apart more and more. 

************

You still refused for Jess to see Viggo, and to be honest, Viggo had no intention to see his dad anyway ! 

Jason heard you guys talk about it, as he came by one night...And the way Viggo’s face brighten when he saw Jay, and how he rushed to hug him finally gave Jason a good idea of what he had to do. 

For yours and Viggo’s good. 

************

He had to. He just had to. 

IT didn’t mean it made anything easier, but he knew it was the only way. 

He had to leave you..both of you. 

He had laid the ground work for a few weeks now, coming to see you and Viggo less often, and being much less attentive and affectionate to you both. 

It particularly tore his heart apart, to see Viggo’s cute little smile fall every time he said “not now buddy” when Viggo asked to play with him ! 

The worst was that time he refused to give him a hug because he said he was “late for work” (a lie), and that other time he said “can’t right now” when Viggo, full of hope, brought his little notebook he got for his birthday and basically tore a random “gift card” from it, clearly not caring what it was, and only wanting to spend time with Jason. 

It really, really hurt, that he had to do that...But at the same time, it was the only way. Because if Viggo was getting to attached to Jason, then he would never want to get to know his real father, Jess. 

If Viggo decided that Jason was his father...then he would eventually get dragged into this dangerous vigilante’s life. And that...Jason couldn’t let it happen. He’d rather die, than putting this little boy’s life in jeopardy. Or yours. 

And though it hurt more than anything in the world, acting that distant and cold toward both you and Viggo, he knew he had to. 

He had to...lay the ground work...To make you guys hate him. 

Make you realize he wasn’t actually a great boyfriend. Purposefully doing things he would never do usually, but doing them just because he knew it annoyed you.

And yet, he couldn’t quite seem to achieve this goal to make you guys even dislike him. Even when he pushed away on purpose; or when he was a bit rude. 

The truth was, he was never able to completely push you two away, or completely be heartless with you. Because he loved both of you with all his heart. 

He was deeply in love with you. And Viggo ? Oh Viggo, he found himself thinking of him as his “son” so many times ! 

But this was dangerous ! You both could never have a real life, if he kept going ! And Jess really seemed to want to get back in your life, and participate in Viggo’s upbringing. And even if he screwed up..maybe he had the right to have a second chance and get to know his own son ? 

Yes. Jason had to do it now. And quick. Rip the band-aid...

*********** 

“Jason, what are you saying ?” 

Your pained look almost convince him to backtrack. To not go forward with it. To tell you it’s just a silly joke and to kiss you with all his might. 

Oh and the look Viggo gives him, sat at the kitchen table, a bowl of cereal in front of him ? It tears him apart. It makes him wish he was still dead. Those innocent eyes slowly realizing that something bad is happening. 

But he can’t go back now. He has to go through with it. For your own good. To both of you...so what if you hate him ? 

“It’s just too much for me, ok ? Too much at the same time, all this.” 

He gestures at you and Viggo, and once again, he has to fight against himself not to go to both of you and give you a hug, apologizing profusely for what he just said and insinuated. 

But he knows...he knows that by using the exact same word Jess used in his letter all those years ago, he’d really break this bond you formed with him. 

“Too much ?” 

You ask, obviously trying to fight tears as you were understanding what the problem was more and more every seconds. 

This was what you feared since you started to date him. What you were terrified of as you realized you were completely in love with him, and that Viggo was getting very attached to (you were pretty sure he almost called him “dad” a few times by now). 

This was your worst nightmare. All over again...The man you love leaving you because a family is too much for him. 

“Yes. You and Viggo. And Jess now too..” 

“What about Jess ?” 

“Well it’s a bit too much ya know ? He’s part of your lives again and...”

“He is not part of our lives. Plus you’re the one that told me to give him another chance !” 

“Yes exactly ! And you did ! Now he’s part of your life wether you want it or not, and he wants to know Viggo so...”

“I don’t want to get to know him Jason, I don’t want to !” 

For the third time, he almost cracks. The tone his little boy just used...”his”. No. No he wasn’t his. He was Jess’s. And it was going to be better for him if the bond between him and Jason was cut. 

“Well you do whatever you want buddy, but ultimately he’s your dad and he wants to know you ! You know, I wish my dad came back for me when Bruce adopted me ! I really do !” 

This was a lie. With all his thinking, Jason came to the conclusion that he would never want another father than Bruce Wayne. No matter how easier his life would have been...But this was his choice, and he already came from a fucked up family and was a delinquent. While Viggo ? Viggo had a bright future ahead of him. 

He was cute and intelligent. He couldn’t come into the vigilante’s world... 

“Where are you getting at with all this, Jason ?” 

You already knew, of course. But you wanted him to say it. You wanted him to spell it out. To face you and tell you. 

“I’m getting at...I mean...I think...I think we should break up.” 

It’s as if someone just threw a bucket of freezing cold water over your head. And without realizing it...You fall on the nearest chair (Jason has to resist like hell for not suddenly running to you and see if you’re ok) and start to cry. 

You don’t even hear what Jason says next, but you know it’s all bullshit. Whatever he says. You know. He’s just trying to be nice and ease the break up, but if you’re being honest, you realized a while ago that he would leave. Because he became suddenly so cold...after Jess’s arrival, really. 

A few weeks ago. 

Since that day Jason became more and more distant. It was weird. It was so different from those past six months ! And you just couldn’t understand why the sudden change of heart...did he think you were going to leave with Jess ? Because he was your first love ? 

But you realized you had never loved anyone before Jason... 

Why was he suddenly...like this ? Didn’t he see you had no intention of ever going back to Jess ? And sure maybe you’ll let him see Viggo because after all yes, maybe he deserves a second chance at that “father’ thing but...couldn’t Jason see that your kid already decided who his real dad truly was ? 

You don’t even realize your son came to you until he presses his small smooth hands on your cheek, and wipe away your tears. 

“I think you should leave.” 

You hear Viggo say to Jason. And you wish you could say something but...you knew it. You knew since day one that if Jason Todd broke your heart, you would be a total mess. Worst than ever. And you really were. 

Damn. You felt so pathetic, moping on your kitchen table while your eight years old son tried to cheer you up. Took care of you. 

“Viggo I...” 

Jason was about to say that he still wanted to see the kid. Still wanted to be friend. He just couldn’t cut all ties, it was impossible...he knew it was a bad idea, but he just couldn’t let you two go. IN fact, he was slowly starting to regret his decision. 

But Viggo, looking up at him with eyes full of unshed tears, and clearly furious, made everything easier for him : 

“I said you should leave. You’ve done enough, don’t you think ?” 

He points at you, who seemed to not even be aware of what is happening around you right now. And oh geez you feel like such an idiot for ever even believing in all this...For believing that a perfect man like Jason could be with you, and help you raise your son the last of the way. For believing that you had another chance at love and at having a normal family. 

“And please don’t come back. Thank you.” 

This is it. This is the day Jason Todd dies a second time. 

He can feel it in his heart. He’s not alive anymore. 

He wants to reach for you, he wants to reach for Viggo...But he doesn’t. Instead, he takes his duffel bag that he prepared the night before, and leaves. Without even turning back once. 

And it’s good that he didn’t, because if he did, his resolve would have shattered. He would have thrown himself on the floor and beg for yours and your son’s forgiveness, say that he wasn’t thinking straight...or tell you the truth ! The all truth ! Why he was leaving right now ! 

Because it’s better for both of you...It’s to save your life...

Oh but if he had turned to look one last time at you, he would have realized he wasn’t saving anything. On the contrary. As you softly cried uncontrollably, not able to get a hold of yourself while you were known to never wallow in self-pity...You always got back up on your feet. Always moved forward. 

For your son. But today...today, even as you see that your tears are really distressing him, you can’t stop crying. Because you feel it in your heart, in your bones...you just lost the love of your life. 

And Viggo ? Viggo, for the first time in his short eight years on this earth, he realizes how painful it is, to not have a dad. 

____________________________________________

Hope you liked this ! It is currently 7 am and I stayed up ALL night to finish this...(while watching the oscars so I got distracted, but said oscars were over two hours ago so...yeah). I hope it’s not too...bad. I must admit, I’m VERY scared to disappoint you...In the end, I’m glad I stayed up so late (or early, depends on the point of view), cause I’m gonna now go hide in my bed.

So. Yeah. Blahblahblah the usual about feedbacks = life, as well as reblogs. 

[yandere-daydreams]

A Yandere!Oc/Oc commission for a lovely anonymous user. I had to keep reminding myself that Lucifer was, in fact, not a fallen angel and that I probably shouldn’t write him as such.

Word Count: ~2000

She didn’t like being so exposed.

Lucia never felt comfortable, but she could normally find somewhere to hide until the feeling of eyes burning into her passed. It was embarrassing, irritating, wrong, but it was something she could live with. However, her methods didn’t work when she was outside, sitting across from her sister in an overly-ornate cafe, trying to look like she wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack. It was a strained effort, though, only adding to her stress.

And, of course, Elvina noticed. Big Sister Intuition, she guessed. “Hey, are you still listening?” She asked, her voice soft but firm. With some hesitation, Lucia nodded, and Elvina pursed her lips. She didn’t believe the younger girl. To be fair, Lucia didn’t believe herself, either. “We don’t have to do this, you know. I could always call things off, tell him there was an emergency.” Elvina paused, doing her best to look sympathetic. “The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.”

“I know…” Lucia trailed off, considering the idea of just running and finding somewhere safe. It would be easier, better. But, she couldn’t keep doing the same thing forever. It was why she’d let Elvina drag her out this far. “What’s your friend like? I can’t say I have high expectations for someone named… what was it? Lucifer?”

“Trust me, neither did I,” Elvina laughed, stirring one of the drinks in front of her. They’d been sitting there long enough for lemonades and teas to start building up. “But, he’s nice. A bit odd, but relaxed. Just try not to let the staring freak you out.” Lucia moved to ask what she meant, but Elvina glanced over her shoulder before she could, waving towards one of the approaching strangers. “Oh, and don’t let the… don’t let him intimidate you.”

Again, Lucia raised an eyebrow, trying to regain her sister’s attention. “Hold on, what do you-”

Before she could ask the question properly, a hand clamped itself down on her shoulder, cold skin meeting her own. It took most of her self-restraint not to scream, or to rip the stranger’s hand away from her, or to get up and march out of that restaurant while she still had the chance. With a shallow, shaky breath, she twisted around to meet their eyes, a greeting catching in her throat.

Lucifer was exactly like Elvina had described him. Tall, glowering, eyes scanning over her smaller form with a measured apathy. She’d expected a fake smile, some form of acknowledgment. But, he stayed silent, just moving sit in the empty seat next to Elvina, who’d managed to keep up a warm grin.

“Thanks for waiting, class ran long. New projects and shit, you know how it is.” Lucifer gestured to the camera-bad hanging from his shoulder, his voice as flat as Lucia’d expected. Sensing the tension, Elvina drove her elbow into Lucifer’s side, nodding towards Lucia. Lucifer didn’t respond quickly, his eyes only narrowing as he met Lucia’s. “Who the fuck are you?”

Lucia had to bite her lip to keep from frowning, an insult fighting against an apology in her mind. “I’m her sister, Lucia. Remind me, which pit of hell did you crawl out of?”

Finally, finally, his neutral expression broke, the faintest hint of a smirk ghosting over his lips. Slowly, he extended a hand, and Lucia just crossed her arms. Lucifer shrugged it off easily, his expression softening ever so slightly. “It’s nice to meet you, then.”

~

Someone was watching her. That, Lucia knew.

As someone who hated being out in public as much as she did, she’d gotten used to telling when someone was staring in her direction. It never faded. That unique, burning sensation that came with a stranger’s attention. If she’d been out during the day, she might’ve brushed it off. But when she was a poorly put-together mess, just trying to get some emergency supplies from a local grocery store at some ungodly hour of the morning, the feeling was harder to shake.

Reluctantly, she glanced down the narrow aisle, looking for any obvious creeps or zoned-out wanderers. There were a few people scattered around, a couple in the same situation as her and a shop clerk who seemed to be too far into his shift to care about much of anything, but the only person who didn’t seem preoccupied was a taller man, the very definition of suspicion. Black hoodie and all. Still, Lucia managed to relax once she saw the familiar camera bag slung over his shoulder.

For a moment, she looked towards the door, wondering if she could just abandon the few items in her arms and leave. It was a very, very tempting idea, one that she’d have easily carried through if she wasn’t running on less than an hour of sleep. But, the deprivation gave her a sense of confidence. Enough to tell herself that this would be good for her, and enough to do something dumb. Like approaching a near-stranger in a nearly empty store, only a few hours before sunrise.

She waited until Lucifer looked toward her again, before turning to face him. The sudden assertion seemed to catch him off guard, letting Lucia approach without any sarcastic comment or odd looks. Her smile was a little forced, but she hoped the lightness in her voice made up for it. “Were you staring at me?”

“Well… kinda, yeah,” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. It was an uncharacteristically sheepish gesture, one she wasn’t sure she trusted. His eyes fell to the phone clutched in his hand, its camera still visible open. “I might’ve gotten carried away.”

Lucia, once again, tried to evaluate how much time it’d take to sprint to the door. “And that’s supposed to mean…”

“I was taking pictures of you, obviously.” The words were said too casually, too comfortably. Like following someone around and taking candid shots was just something people did on a regular basis. “I tend to document people, usually the ones I like,” He explained, still acting like nothing was wrong. “I saw you walking around, and... well, one thing led to another. I could delete them, if it bothers you.”

Despite herself, Lucia blushed, accusations playing on her tongue before fizzling out. It wasn’t a compliment, but it was the closest thing she’d gotten to one in a while. With her eyes focused to on the ground, she nodded, fighting back the urge to have faith in her sister’s choice of friends. “It does. Just get rid of them, and I won’t tell Elvina about this.”

“Wouldn’t want to get another one of her lectures,” Lucifer chuckled, his eyes never leaving his phone. Lucia would absolutely be telling Elvina about this, but he didn’t need to know that. And right now, she just wanted to get as far away from the blonde as humanly possible. Without another word, she took her leave, rushing to just get out of the store and go home.

Meanwhile, Lucifer waited in the same spot, taking a deep breath and trying frantically not to look like deleting those blurry, out of focus shots bothered him. He never liked it, people telling him what to do. And he liked having to get rid of his possessions even less. He wasn’t mad, just… frustrated. He was going to have to have to find her tomorrow, if only to regain what he’d lost. It’d be a waste of an hour, if he was lucky. It’d be a waste of a day, if he wasn’t.

The sound of automatic doors opening drew him out of his thoughts, and he briefly caught a glace of long, brown hair turning the corner onto a darker sidestreet. One without lamposts, and other people. If he could get the lighting right…

Reluctantly, Lucifer dropped the empty basket in his left hand, walking out of the store as nonchalantly as he could. Maybe, he wouldn’t have to wait until the next morning for something he earned.

~

While his actions didn’t feel right, they didn’t necessarily feel wrong, either. Maybe it was just how easy all of this was, or maybe Lucifer had over-estimated the sway of his own moral compass.

He went undetected while following Lucia, and even if she did see him, she didn’t seem to think much of it. Lucia never remembered to lock the windows on the rare occasion when she left the house, allowing Lucifer to slip in and out without troubling himself with making a spare key (not that he would need to, since Elvina already kept one under her welcome mat). It was all so easy, too easy. But, that’s what Lucifer liked about it. It was peaceful, quiet, tranquil. Lucifer didn’t have to think about why he finally smiled while taking picture after picture of his favorite muse, nor did he have to mull over the reasons why he seemed to like her so much.

He liked her. The thought itself was foreign, strange. Lucifer put it out of his mind as quickly as he could.

There was her shyness, too. He’d had a handful of opportunities to go through countless journals of hers, and all of them centered around one thing. How alone she felt, how isolated she was despite being surrounded by people. Both of them struggled with communication, so that wasn’t a surprise. That’d never bothered Lucifer, but he could still help her, relate to her. He was alone too! But, if they just got an opportunity to talk to each other, he knew she’d feel the same way.

It was something that made Lucifer’s heart speed up, taking his mind away from the mess of wires and nearly microscopic chips in his hand. It hadn’t been surprising to find out that the sisters had a mess of security cameras in every corner of their small home, but it only made things more convenient.  He’d always had to be so careful to avoid them, but if this worked out as well as he hoped it would, breaking-in wouldn’t be necessary. All he’d have to do is click a few buttons, and he’d have just as much access to the feed as Lucia or Elvina did. 

And, if this didn’t work, he’d be arrested.

Still, the thought of a real, live recording made up for it. Just the thought that he’d be able to see Lucia, regardless of how safe she thought she was, thrilled him, more than it should have. There wouldn’t be any boundaries between them, no fear, no limits. It wasn’t real contact. but it was the best he’d get, for now.

Lucifer let out a short laugh, snapping the last panel back into place. Lucia would get home in a little over an hour, so he had time to spare. Another visit to her room couldn’t hurt, could it?

~

He wanted more, it was undeniable.

Watching from a distance was great, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel someone next to him, to see Lucia, and talk to her, and see if he could ever feel the same way. He knew that it was a strange progression... from a fixation, to an itch, to a real, genuine need, but... that’s what love is supposed to be like, isn’t it? 

Fast-paced, and overwhelming, and so, so one-sided. Beautiful, in a way that nearly stopped his heart. Just like how his parents loved each other, at least before he stopped being allowed to see his mother...

But, this would be an improvement! For both of them! They’d care of each other, and they would be so, so perfect together.

Of course, Lucifer knew he’d have to give her some time to come around. His family had a ‘summer cabin’, a practically abandoned building not-too-far from the city where they’d be able to stay until Lucia got comfortable around him. It’d be temporary, and once she understood, he knew they’d get along perfectly! It wasn’t like he would ever hurt something he took so much comfort in, and she had to appreciate that level of restraint.

Maybe he’d even get a few pictures of her smiling. He’d always liked her smile.

[superfreakerz]

Heightened

This is a request from @millennial-star-gazer :) Sorry it took me so long to finish this! And I might've changed it a bit because I'm not really confident in my skills of writing E.N.D. lol. Hope you like it anyways! :D

"Heightened"

Rated M for smut.

Summary: After eating a potion-infused chip he bought from some sketchy clerk, Natsu is thrown into Dragon Force. Lucy quickly finds that it isn't just his appearance that is affected. With heightened senses, the boy is possessive and territorial over her.

Heightened

"Sir, could you perhaps be a dragon slayer?"

Natsu's ears perked at the question. He and Happy had been traveling home from one of the jobs that they went on together. Even though they loved the rest of Team Natsu, the two still chose to do some jobs alone to spend some time together.

Natsu nodded at the man behind the counter. They were currently in a magic shop, looking for any keys that they could bring back to Lucy.

"Yeah, I am. Why?" he asked.

"I have something that you might like," the man answered. "But first, do you have a partner?"

"Partner?" Natsu immediately pictured Lucy. "Yeah, I do. Why?"

"Because I can only sell it to you if you have one."

"Oh. Well what is it?"

The man bent down and pulled an item from behind the counter. Inside of a small bag was a sole potato chip.

Natsu quirked a brow, crossing his arms. "A chip? You're selling me a chip?"

"It's not just any kind of chip," the clerk said. "It's one that will make things more fun between you and your partner."

"More fun? How?"

"You'll have to see for yourself." The man's lips curled into a small smile, his cheeks tinted pink.

Natsu stared at the chip skeptically. It was a hefty price to pay for just a chip, but the guy did say it'd make things more fun. That was worth it, right? And since the shop didn't sell any celestial keys, they could use the money they saved for that on this instead.

"Alright, I'll take it!" Natsu exclaimed with an eager grin.

The man mirrored his expression, accepting the money and offering him the chip.

Little did Natsu know at the time that the kind of fun the man meant was something totally different.

Arriving at the guild, Natsu's eyes immediately searched for a head of golden hair while Happy flew towards Charle. Finding the blonde sitting at the bar with Cana and Mira, the boy decided to sneak up on her. Right behind her, he squeezed her sides and shouted, eliciting a scream from the girl.

Lucy turned around, glaring at Natsu. "Natsu! Don't do that, you jerk!"

The boy cackled. "It's too funny, Luce!"

"It's not funny!"

"Yeah it is!"

"It kinda is," Cana agreed.

"Yep!" Mira chimed in.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Turning towards her partner, she smiled at him. "How did the job go?"

"Piece of cake!" Natsu answered with a wide grin.

"That's good. I was actually going to go back to my place to write on my novel."

"Oh, I'll go with you."

"Okay, but you need to be quiet since I need to concentrate on my story! Are you going to bring Happy?"

"Nah, he's been talkin' this whole time about winning Charle's heart the moment we got back so I'm gonna let him do his thing."

With that, they were saying their goodbyes to everyone in the guild before heading back to Lucy's apartment. Natsu walked a step behind Lucy as she walked on the edge of the canal. He was on his toes to make sure that she wouldn't fall in- though, that'd be a pretty funny sight. He told her all about their job, all the while watching Lucy.

The sunlight reflected off of Lucy's golden hair, making her look like an angel. His eyes glazed over her curves, his fingers itching to feel them. He shook his head, forcing his gaze onto the pavement.

He and Lucy weren't like that. At least, not yet. Ever since the battle with Zeref and Acnologia, the two were in a weird stalemate. Natsu had a feeling that she had a thing for him, just as he did for her, but neither of them chose to really act on it. Maybe they were waiting for each other to make a move. Natsu wasn't sure. But he didn't want to do anything that Lucy wasn't ready for.

Reaching the girl's apartment, Lucy immediately went to her desk while Natsu situated himself on her bed. They were in a content silence as Lucy worked on her novel and Natsu played with his fire.

Still, Natsu could only keep himself entertained for so long. After half an hour passed of them sitting in silence, he was starting to feel fidgety. No longer interested in playing with fire, he shoved his hands in his pockets, his brows quirking as he felt a plastic bag in one of them. He had forgotten all about the chip.

"Lucy!" he suddenly called out, causing the girl to jump in her seat.

With a hand over her chest to calm her startled heart, she turned to face him. "What, Natsu? Don't just scream my name like that! You scared me!"

He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry, sorry! But I just remembered something I bought for us!"

This piqued the blonde's interest. In seconds, she was getting up from her chair and sitting by him on the bed.

"What is it?" she asked, a wide smile stretched over her face. Reaching into his pocket, Natsu pulled out the plastic bag, showing it off. Lucy peered curiously at it, blanching when she saw what was inside. "A chip? You got us a chip? Not even a full bag, but just one single chip?"

"Yeah! The guy said that it would make things fun!" Natsu replied.

"How?"

"He said I'd have to see for myself."

Lucy placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Natsu, but you totally got ripped off. The guy just put a potato chip in the bag and said some nonsense about it so some idiot would buy it."

"Oi! I'm not an idiot!"

"You just bought a single potato chip."

"For us," Natsu said, nudging the girl. "I don't think he was lying!"

"What makes you say that?" Lucy asked.

"Because he knew I was a dragon slayer! So this only works for dragon slayers. And he said he could only sell it to me if I have a partner."

"Partner?"

"Yeah. Like you and Happy."

Lucy sighed. "Well, I'll let you have it."

Natsu inspected the chip. It did look like an ordinary chip… He shook his head. He refused to believe that he was played!

So, without a second thought, he plopped the chip into his mouth and began to chew. It tasted like any other chip. Swallowing, he waited for anything to happen.

"Well?" Lucy asked, staring at the boy. "Anything happen?"

The boy crossed his arms with a pout. "Not yet. But just give it some time! I'm sure it'll-!"

Natsu's eyes widened, his jaw slacking. His breaths began to stagger and his heart felt like it was beating a mile per second. He clutched his chest, the world around him starting to spin.

"Natsu?" Lucy called out. "Natsu, what's wrong?"

The boy couldn't even hear her. A strange, foreign heat traveled through his body. Being a fire dragon slayer who ate fire on a daily basis, his body always felt warm. But this was different. This was painful.

Natsu inhaled sharply, fisting his hair as the heat got worse. It felt like it was bundling up, about to explode within him.

Lucy was getting worried. Was the chip poisoned? Was that why he was acting like this? Looping an arm underneath Natsu, she began to lead him towards the door.

"I'm going to take you to the guild!" she told him, unsure if he could even hear her. He didn't react at all, so she doubted he could. "Maybe Wendy or Master can do something about this!"

It was a long, hard walk to the guild. Carrying Natsu the entire way was a struggle. It didn't help that the townspeople were staring at them, and it especially didn't help when Natsu would start to thrash around in pain.

But finally, they reached the guild. Kicking open the door, everyone in the guild turned their attention towards them.

"Someone help me!" Lucy shouted. Carrying Natsu the entire way had taken its toll on her body and she was exhausted. Falling to her knees, she was relieved when Gray and Erza came to help.

"What's wrong?" Gray asked, lifting Natsu and sitting him down at the nearest table. Everyone in the guild circled around them, concerned for the dragon slayer.

"I-I don't know!" Lucy answered, standing right beside the ice-make mage. "He bought some chip from someone saying that it would make things fun or something and next thing I knew he was like this! Wendy, can you help him?"

The girl frowned, shaking her head. "I'm not really sure what the problem is."

"It isn't poison?"

"No. If it were, I could heal him."

"I know where the shop is!" Happy chimed in. "Maybe we should go see the guy that sold it to us!"

"That's a good idea," Erza replied. "It doesn't help that none of us knows what's happening. We need to get some answers."

Lucy frowned, gnawing on her lower lip as she watched Natsu writhe in agony. She hated seeing him hurt. Suddenly, a cold hand landed on her shoulder. Gray smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Lucy," he said. "We'll figure it out. Flame Brains will be back to his annoying, idiotic self in no time."

Lucy nodded, forcing a smile to her face. "You're right. Thank you, Gr-!"

A low growl had interrupted her. Whipping her head towards Natsu, Lucy's eyes grew wide as her jaw dropped on its hinges. Natsu's pupils had turned to slits as he glared at Gray. Anger gleamed in his eyes. Suddenly, scales started to grow out of some parts of his face.

"Dragon Force?" Gajeel asked. "Why the hell is he goin' into Dragon Force?"

Before anyone could say anything else, Natsu leapt from his spot, tackling Gray down to the ground.

"Oi! What the hell, Natsu!" Gray shouted, trying to get him off.

Natsu ignored him, baring his sharp teeth. Another low growl resonated in his throat.

"Don't. Touch. Her," he ground out.

Everyone's eyes widened.

"Wait, is he talking about Lucy?" Erza asked.

"I only put my hand on her shoulder!" Gray said.

This only caused Natsu to get angrier. His nails turned to sharp claws, which he held dangerously close to Gray's face.

"Don't touch her!" he repeated. His voice was lower than normal, scratchy and hoarse.

Erza went to get Natsu off of Gray when the boy threatened to slash at her instead. Lucy swallowed thickly, taking a step towards him. She didn't want to set him off, but she needed to get him away from Gray.

"Natsu," she called out. This gained the boy's attention. "Come here."

He got up and went by the girl's side. Gray scoffed, glaring at him.

"I think I know what the problem is," Levy said, gaining everyone's attention. "Natsu wasn't poisoned. But he was definitely given something."

"What is it?" Lucy asked.

Levy blushed and chuckled awkwardly. "Well, it's going to sound crazy…"

"Just tell us!"

"I think the chip might've been infused with a potion that makes someone possessive and territorial. And since Natsu's a dragon slayer, that side of him is worse than most people's. His senses will be heightened."

"The guy did say that it was meant for dragon slayers," Happy informed her. "And that he could only sell it if Natsu had a partner."

"Partner? Well, that only proves my point. He meant partner as in significant other, not a partner you go on jobs with."

Lucy flushed from head to toe. "Wait… So you're saying that Natsu is possessive of… me?"

"Yep," Levy answered with a nod.

"But-But we aren't even- What!?"

"Oh please," Gray said, crossing his arms. "Everyone knows how you guys feel about each other. And I guess this means that Ash for Brains does too."

Lucy's cheeks were set ablaze. She did not come here to have her feelings towards Natsu talked about amongst the whole guild.

"Don't worry, Lucy," Levy said. "The effect will wear off eventually. For now, just endure it."

"You should probably take him home," Erza suggested. "We don't want him hurting anyone."

Lucy nodded, her heart thumping within her chest. Take Natsu home? While he was like this?

"Okay," she said. "Let's go, Natsu. Happy." That seemed to trigger the dragon slayer as he glared at Happy with a growl. "Seriously? You're getting jealous over Happy too?"

The exceed frowned. "It's okay, Lucy. I'll just go home. You can take Natsu to your apartment."

Lucy smiled apologetically towards the cat, knowing that his feelings were probably hurt. "Alright. Bye, everyone."

The guild wished her luck, and with that, she was out the door.

Even though carrying Natsu to the guild was tough, this was worse. Every time someone so much as looked at her, Natsu was charging them and getting in their faces. The same happened if someone was just walking close to her.

"Stop it already!" Lucy demanded, dragging Natsu by the scarf into her apartment. Once she closed the door behind her, she leaned against it with a sigh of relief, glad to be back home. Since they were alone, there was nobody Natsu could get angry at.

"Well, Natsu?" Lucy started, opening her eyes to glance at him. "What do you want to do-!"

The words died in her throat as she saw the way Natsu was looking at her. She was no fool. She was not blind to the hunger and desire that filled his onyx orbs.

A blush crawled up her face. "Umm, what do you want to do?"

Natsu ignored her and continued to stare at her. Her eyes trailed over the scales that protruded his skin. The dark look in his eyes paired with those scales…

Heat erupted within the girl like a volcano as the area between her thighs began to tingle in excitement. Lucy wanted to bash her own head in the wall. What was she getting turned on for? It wasn't like she could actually do anything!

Still, Lucy blushed from the intense look Natsu was giving her. This was her first time seeing him in Dragon Force. She'd seen him angry many times, but this was different. Though he was angry at everyone else, he never looked angry when he gazed at her.

Lucy was drawn from her thoughts as she saw Natsu walking towards her. With a tiny squeal, she pushed herself against the door. Natsu stopped right in front of her, his eyes boring into hers.

"N-Natsu?" she called out.

Before she could even register what was happening, Lucy found herself caged between Natsu's arms.

"Lucy…" he said, his voice low and alluring. The girl couldn't help but shudder from his voice.

"W-What are you doing?"

Natsu slowly started to lean his face towards hers. Lucy got the hint immediately, squirming in her spot with flared cheeks. Was this really happening? Was this going to be her first kiss?

With a frown, Lucy stopped him.

She wanted to kiss him, she really did. She had wanted to for a long time, actually. After all, she was madly in love with Natsu. But this was different. Natsu wasn't in control of himself and she didn't want to take advantage of him like that.

"I can't," she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked, gently grabbing her wrist.

"Because you may want this now, but I don't want you to regret it when the effects of that potion wear off."

Natsu tugged on her wrist, pulling her against him. "I won't regret it. I'm still me, Luce." With that, he began his descent towards her lips once again.

Lucy's breaths were shaky as he got closer and closer. Her brain was short-circuiting, her thoughts a jumbled mess. She could feel his breath fanning against her face. She closed her eyes, anticipating what was to come. And finally, their lips met.

At first, the kiss was soft, as if their lips were barely even touching. Fire shot through Lucy's body, coursing through her veins. Then, Natsu began to push harder against her, molding his lips with her own.

It was sloppy at first, but they soon got the hang of it, their lips washing over each other's like waves. Lucy, unsure of what to do with her arms, snaked them around Natsu's neck, bringing herself against him. She could faintly hear another one of his low growls, which she took as a sign that he liked it.

Everything was happening so fast. Not even an hour ago, the two were dancing around their feelings. And now, they were sharing passionate kisses.

Lucy couldn't complain about that.

Natsu began to tug on Lucy's lip with his sharpened teeth, gently enough so that it wouldn't hurt her. The sensation was odd, but Lucy found herself liking it as she began to tug on his hair. This spurred the boy to advance further, his tongue darting into Lucy's mouth and sliding against her own.

Lucy's eyes opened as she squealed, unfamiliar with such a feeling. Well, she was unfamiliar with all of this, but that caught her off guard.

Natsu smirked at her, making her fidget in her spot. The way his eyes bore into hers, the teasing smirk…

Natsu leaned towards her again, planting his lips against hers. As if warming her up to it, he switched between licking her lower lip and tugging it with his teeth. Then, he slowly pushed his tongue into her mouth.

Lucy leaned into the kiss, enjoying the odd sensation of brushing tongues with Natsu. His hands landed on her hips, tugging at her flesh that was revealed by her crop top. She could feel his fingers dipping underneath the hem of her shirt. The tingling sensation between her legs grew to a dull ache.

Natsu pulled away from their kiss and stared into Lucy's eyes as he paused his advances, silently asking for permission. Lucy was glad that even under the effects of the potion, he still had to control to make sure she was okay with it. With blushing cheeks, Lucy grabbed Natsu's hand and trailed it upwards, giving him the answer he was looking for.

Natsu crashed his lips over hers once again, his hand slowly moving up her side and under her shirt. His other hand was kept on her lower back, pushing her against him.

As Lucy felt Natsu's hand getting closer and closer to her breast, she couldn't help but squirm in anticipation. He'd touched them before, but this time would be different. She could tell he was teasing her by how slowly he was moving. His touches were driving her crazy.

Finally, his hand grazed her breast, causing her to inhale sharply. Natsu continued his pursuit until his thumb was right next to her hardened nub. He pushed his tongue into her mouth again as his thumb rolled over her peak, eliciting a whimper from the girl.

In seconds, Lucy found herself pushed against the door, moaning as Natsu continued to fondle her breast. To think that she'd been missing out on such pleasure! She could tell that her moans were having an affect on Natsu with the way he started to get rougher with his kisses.'

Not that she'd minded.

Natsu growled again as Lucy's fingers raked his back. His lips left hers in pursuit of her neck instead. He ravaged the skin, sucking it roughly and smoothing his tongue over it, leaving red marks in his wake.

Lucy whimpered again as Natsu's thumb rolled over her nipple. The ache between her legs was growing harder and harder to ignore. She needed to relieve herself. Her body acted on its own as she rolled her hips against Natsu, feeling something hard against her thigh. With flushed cheeks, Lucy glanced down to find something bulging under Natsu's pants.

Natsu growled at Lucy, his body reacting to the way she rolled against him. He suddenly picked her up, all the while sucking on her neck. Her legs wrapped around his torso until she was dropped onto the bed.

Natsu grabbed the hem of her skirt before meeting Lucy's gaze again. She nodded quickly, watching as he tore her skirt off. At this point, she was fine with him doing anything to her as long as he'd relieve her of the ache between her legs. Natsu then ripped her shirt off, literally. Lucy couldn't care less at the moment though. Now she was left in only her red, lacy underwear.

Lucy wriggled in anticipation, waiting for Natsu to touch her again. Instead, she watched as Natsu went to her desk, grabbing one of her ribbons. With an arched brow, she watched Natsu approach her again.

Natsu settled himself over her, crashing her lips against hers. Her hands fisted his hair, but not for long before he grabbed her wrists and held her arms above her head. In seconds, she found her arms tied above her head to the pillars of the bed.

"N-Natsu?" she called out breathily.

The boy ignored her, tracing his fingers over her chest, circling her breasts. Lucy wriggled from the touch and rolled her hips towards him as he grazed her hardened peaks. Natsu smirked, amused with the reaction. And now Lucy had figured out why he had tied her up.

To torture her.

Instead of finishing her like she had hoped he would do, Natsu took his time teasing her. His lips traveled from her own lips towards her neck, then towards her chest. She swallowed thickly as he left butterfly kisses over her collarbone and down to the crease of her breasts. He circled the area around her sensitive nubs before slowly grazing his tongue over them.

This elicited a loud moan from Lucy, rolling her hips in need of being relieved. Natsu pulled the nub into his mouth, sucking and licking it. Lucy felt like she was walking on air, like she was on ecstasy. She'd never felt anything so pleasurable before, it was driving her crazy.

"N-Natsu…" she breathed out, her face flushed and dotted with sweat.

"Not yet," he replied, moving his face to her other breast and repeating the process. Lucy wasn't sure how much longer she could hold up.

Soon enough, Natsu's hand slid up her thigh, towards her underwear. His fingers danced along the hem, teasing her by sometimes slipping a finger underneath.

"Natsu," Lucy said, glaring at him.

"Beg for it," Natsu demanded.

"I'm not going to beg!"

Natsu's finger grazed over her underwear, feeling her juices soak through the fabric. His fingers delved closer and closer to her entrance, making her moan. Finally, she was going to be relieved of this suffering!

Then Natsu pulled his hand back, smirking at her.

"Beg," he said.

"F-Fine!" Lucy shouted, no longer able to control herself. "Please, Natsu. Please, for the love of god, finish what you started."

Natsu grinned, showing off his sharp teeth. Instead of using his fingers, which was what Lucy expected him to use, Natsu left kisses starting from her breasts, trailing down her stomach and over her underwear. Using his teeth, he tore the underwear apart, reveling in the flesh that he'd never seen up close like this before.

"N-Natsu?" Lucy called out. "What are you doing?"

He ignored her as spread her legs farther apart and began kissing her inner thigh. He slowly moved upwards to her folds.

Lucy's eyes widened as she realized what he was going to do. She squirmed, unable to hold still as his lips worked their way up to her region. Finally, he hovered over her folds, his hot breath fanning her entrance. Then, he began to suck on her lips, causing Lucy to moan.

He flicked his tongue over her clitoris, amused with the reaction as Lucy arched her back and screamed his name. He did it again and again, teasing her before he slid his tongue past her folds and circled her entrance. He could feel Lucy's legs wrap around his head, but he grabbed them and pushed her legs as far apart as he could, keeping them in place no matter how much she wriggled around.

And once his tongue slowly entered her, she began to thrash around.

"Natsu!" she cried, unable to help herself. The area was so sensitive, she needed to wrap her legs around his head, but he wouldn't let her. No, instead, he kept going deeper inside of her, exploring her edges with his tongue.

Lucy could feel her toes curling as she was on the brink of release. Once Natsu quickened his pace, her legs buckled and she shattered against him, calling out his name. It was like she was on a high, her body trembling as pleasure washed over her. Moans continuously slipped past her lips as he continued to circle his tongue inside of her even though she already climaxed. She rolled her hips against his face, trying to get his tongue even deeper inside of her.

Once the waves of pleasure began to die down, Lucy's legs went limp and Natsu finally pulled his tongue out of her. His eyes trailed over her naked body, dark and hungry still.

"Want to untie me now so I can finish you?" Lucy asked between pants.

Natsu smirked, shaking his head.

"Nah, I'm gonna keep you tied up."

"How am I supposed to finish you then?"

Natsu brought a finger to her mouth, answering her question with the action. Lucy's blush deepened as she nodded her head. She couldn't help but agree to whatever Natsu wanted. Honestly, she wanted to do it too.

So, she watched as Natsu pulled down his pants, his hardened member finally being set free. He caged Lucy between his legs as he brought his cock up to her mouth. Lucy opened her mouth, allowing Natsu to push his shaft inside.

Lucy was a little embarrassed to be in such a position, but at the same time it was exhilarating. Now she knew how Natsu had felt while pleasuring her. She enjoyed being able to pleasure Natsu.

He slowly pushed deeper inside, as far as he could before Lucy's gag reflex would be triggered. Once he knew how far he could go, he picked up speed, thrusting in and out of her mouth. The warmth of her mouth over his length had him seeing stars.

It didn't take long for him to feel like he was about to finish, not when Lucy tightened her lips around his shaft so that it tugged at it every time he thrusted. He could tell she was feeling adventurous herself.

Natsu's legs buckled and he moaned softly as he pulled out immediately, white liquid spurting out and landing on Lucy's face. His breaths were staggered as he leaned over her, watching the liquid drip down the side of her face.

Lucy's eyes widened, feeling a warm liquid slide down her face. She knew what it was, and honestly she was a little thrown off for a second. She'd heard Cana share stories of guys finishing on her face, but it never sounded appealing to her. But now, watching Natsu's eyes glaze over the trail of cum on her face in satisfaction, she began to understand why some girls liked it.

Natsu tore the ribbon that he had used to keep Lucy tied up. Her arms fell limply at her sides, numb. The two of them laid side by side, silent, save for their panting.

"How was it?" Lucy finally asked.

Natsu smirked at her. "Let me put it this way, you better relax while you can before we go for another round. And don't even bother putting on clothes unless you want me to rip those off too."

Lucy grinned, a blush spreading over her face. Suddenly, Natsu's words from before replayed in her head.

"The guy said that it would make things fun!" Natsu had said while explaining why he bought the chip.

Well, the guy wasn't wrong.

That was definitely fun.

[maplestreetsims]

get to know me tag!

so, i came to catfish you all with my updated simself, also i made her with alpha cc bc why not?

I saw @galaxsims did this and i thought it might be fun, so the point of this is to make a simself and answer some q’s so people get to know you better

I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do this, Just go crazy 

   - trash under cut -

1. What is your full name? Constanza

2. What is your nickname? most people call me coti, i had a few friends that called me constance tho

3. Birthday? July 1, 2000

4. What is your favorite book series? i dont read as much as i used to so i dont have one

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts...maybe? just for the spookines of it all tbh

6. Who is your favorite author? i dont read dont come for me

7. What is your favorite radio station? i never listen to the radio, mostly spotify

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? anything cheese flavored, or like pizza? idk im thinkin chips here

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? amazing, cool!

10. What is your current favorite song? literally queens entire discography??? like i saw bohemian rhapsody last week, i liked queen before but now im like on hyperdrive or something

11. What is your favorite word?  chaos

12. What was the last song you listened to? Somebody to love, by (you guessed it) queen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? hmm... i dont know, skam, maybe freaks and geeks

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? pride (2014) always makes me feel happy when i watch it, i really like it

15. Do you play video games? yes

16. What is your biggest fear? Ending up alone, but not romantically, more of like no friends, or family

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i dont know... i just try to be a good person?? like i put myself in others peoples shoes and treat them how i would like to be treated i guess, bc i know how its like being treated like shit and i wouldnt want that for anyone lol

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my socializing skills? or lack thereof 

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? i like them both the same

20. What is your favorite season? i dont like any season sjdjsdk

21. Are you in a relationship? nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? just.. happiness?? not only my own but like everyone in my family (yikes) also my innocence 

23. Who is your best friend? haha ha

24. What is your eye color? brown

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown 

26. Who is someone you love? no one honestly, maybe my pets?

27. Who is someone you trust? literally anyone who is nice to me, that’s bad

28. Who is someone you think about often? my friends, classmates

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? nothing currently

30. What is your biggest obsession? The sims, life is strange and detroit become human.....also queen?, weird combinations

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Art attack! also the cocodrile hunter??? that was my shit!!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? I know i just said i trust everyone but like....i dont open up, like ever

33. Are you superstitious? No

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators?? and cars...are those phobias?

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? Editing, playin sims... u know

37. What was the last book you read? I cant remember fghjkljhg probably something for school

38. What was the last movie you watched? Bohemian rhapsody rip

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? i wish i could play any musical instrument, but i suck tbh

40. What is your favorite animal? cats and dogs™

41. What are your top 5 7 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

@pollinationqueen​ @cosmic-espie​ @omiscanking @bloomlet @gunthermunch @cowberrys and @mellocakes ♥♥

42. What superpower do you wish you had? telekinesis??? um hell yeah why would anyone want anything else

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? this is weird but when im riding the bus home, listening to music

44. What makes you smile? my simblr, youtube videos...

45. What sports do you play, if any? i wish

46. What is your favorite drink? coca cola beech! 

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I dont even remember, but i had to write something like that around this year at least

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? it used to be hearing people chew, but i think im over it

50. Have you ever been to a concert? no, never

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? idk sis

54. What is something you worry about? my future, and my life

55. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

56. Do you like to sing? yes, only when im alone

57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah, but i tried not to, it felt like i was missing out and that kinda made me feel like shit??

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dont think i have one, but more like a bunch of them? and only at specific times if that make sense, like the outside of that theater at nightime when i went to see a play with my friends a while ago

59. Where would you like to live? mmm maybe the usa? or anywhere where i could get to speak english all the time

60. Do you have any pets? a cat and a dog, Mercury and Candy!

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, def

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets, im never up for sunrises anyways, unless i stayed up all night

63. Do you know how to drive? no but i hope that i do at some point, although im scared of cars

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones

65. Have you ever had braces? nope, my teeth are as straight as me

66. What is your favorite genre of music? rock, indie...maybe pop rock?

67. Who is your hero? i dont have one

68. Do you read comic books? not really

69. What makes you the most angry? myself sometimes

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book all the way, when i do read that is

71. What was your favorite subject in school? cinematography class???? idk how it translates properly but that was my fave, although the teacher fucking ruined it for all of us tbh

72. Do you have any siblings? nope

73. What was the last thing you bought? a bus ticket

74. How tall are you? 4′9...yikes

75. Can you cook? not at all

76. What are three things that you love? this blog, my family and my pets

77. What are three things that you hate? hooo boy

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? i have 0 friends what does that mean? jk i actually would say its pretty equal 

79. What is your sexual orientation? yes

80. Where do you currently live? Uruguay, montevideo

81. Who was the last person you texted? my dad

82. When was the last time you cried? last week

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? jenna and julien, and probably every sims youtuber(seriously)

84. Do you like to take selfies? not so much

85. What is your favorite app? tumblr, or youtube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? its alright

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portugeese

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? mmm all of them

89. What is your favorite number? 7

90. Can you juggle? Nop

91. Are you religious? no

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? hahah no

94. Are you allergic to anything? i used to be allergic to a bunch of shit when i was a kid but im not allergic to it anymore?? like chocolate, oranges....cats, and dust

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? always hopefully

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? i dont really ask for advice that often so...idk

100. Are you a good liar? No, but i try

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff

102. Do you talk to yourself? i used to talk to myself all the time, but now i barely do it, thats a good thing right?

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no, i used to when i was a kid but it was pure garbage

105. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? look for an id to see if i cant turn it in, if not....well

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes, but only in certain things

108. Are you ticklish? i dont even know, probably not

109. Have you ever been on a plane? no

110. Do you have any piercings? yeah, my ears

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? idk

112. Do you have any tattoos? No, but hopefully i will some day!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? i dont know....

114. Do you believe in karma? yeah

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no

116. Do you want children? yeah why not

117. Who is the smartest person you know? honestly i don’t know

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? doing a cindirella theatre play for my school when i was 12, i was cindirella, i dont wanna talk about it njxkcfxf

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? not that i remember, i always end up falling asleep, dosent matter if its like 10 minutes 

120. What color are most of you clothes? green.........i dont even like green

121. Do you like adventures? yeah maybe, depends on what it is

122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah i have actually lmao, it was on a kids tv show 

123. How old are you? 18

124. What is your favorite quote? “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents” 

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory!!

[1nkweaver]

PICK N OPAL!!! 1- What happens when your character doesn't get what they want? 2- How well can this character resist their emotions and impulses? 3- If the character were to come face to face with their darkest fears in a nightmare, what would they see? 4-Do they prefer sweet, salty, sour, meaty, spicy, or neutral tastes? 5- whats their feelings on the groups their with lately?

1- What happens when your character doesn't get what they want?

Opal: It really depends on what it is tbh. Opal will either let it go immediately, or he’ll keep pushing subtly, or he’ll have a “do it yourself” attitude to it. If it’s some kind of divine plan thing, he’s -going- to make it happen, that’s the long and short of it.

Pick: He probably just whines really XD but if he’s not getting what he wants because his opinion or thought process is like being put down then he’ll get aggressive. He really buts heads with people on moral issues and developing plans because I think he thinks that you should always debate every possibility.

2- How well can this character resist their emotions and impulses?

Opal is stoic as fuuuuuck man...it’s hard to really feel like he -has- impulses, but I definitely want him to almost be like -TOO- in control of his emotions. Yknow, like seeing your church get destroyed with your people inside it and seemingly not reacting super duper hard, just kinda...staring at it. (Yeah Baughn, that’s basically what he did when that happened do you feel bad?)

Pick is very emotional on the other hand. He tries so desperately to think about what would Anders do because he always felt Anders was smart, but Anders almost always acted on his feelings, and he instilled that in Pick a bit. Pick thinks first with his gut, then with his heart, and last with his brain- but he uses all three. Goblin nature in my mind is to be very id driven, so he very often just -goes- with his instincts and feelings, he doesn’t question them bc he feels that’s the truest part of himself.

3- If the character were to come face to face with their darkest fears in a nightmare, what would they see?

Opal dreams of building something, and while those things have been destroyed before and he’s had to start over, there has always been a sense of rebuilding. Opal’s worst nightmare would be that sense of total defeat- he’s dying, his friends are dying around him, and everything he built is being destroyed in one fell swoop. It’s kind of dramatic but Opal doesn’t really think about things on a personal level, his worst nightmare is being there for the end of the world.

Pick’s nightmare is a lot more real and personal. He’d be back in a place he was before. A place with music, and laughter, and a lot of voices...and he’s looking at it while either standing over a corpse, or looking out from between bars.

4-Do they prefer sweet, salty, sour, meaty, spicy, or neutral tastes?

Opal definitely has a sweet tooth- I remember in waterdeep he had the equivalent of fish and chips and he found it..interesting but strange. I must imagine he loves things like custard and candied apples and the like, probably caramel too, things of that nature would really make him feel happy.

Pick eats a lot of things so he has a really expanded palette, I mean the guy will eat garbage. I think it’s partially goblin instinct to like salty and meaty things, like gamey raw meat and stuff like that. But I also personally think that now, especially with the gourmand feat, that he has a real big love for spicy. Not necessarily spicy hot (though he’d love that) but spicy flavorful, like with indian food and the like. Just really powerful flavors.

5- whats their feelings on the groups their with lately?

The Opal of Waterdeep has developed very slowly, I last left off with a month long timeskip while we rebuilt trollskull manor. He thinks that he can help them, but he needs their help too, and he’s been learning their secrets and keeping his close. I remember I wrote out a whole speech for Opal because he believes he got one of the characters backstories figured out, and meant to confront them about it. 

Opal of Avisten is a little bit different- he’s older, wiser, but more grizzled and lives in a more dangerous uncivilized world. It was his plan to actually assemble the party itself, he gathered these people and chose them individually for a reason. They are his people, they are his flock. I hate to use the religious allegory but Opal sees himself as the “jesus” figure and all of the rest of the party are his “apostles”. Maybe they’ll listen to him, maybe they’ll betray him. But they’re all integral to each other and they all have something that Opal needs to do for them, and they will do something in return for Opal. Deep down they are good people, flawed people, but they need each other. As Ida would say they are twisted.

Picks ideas on the party are...complicated, a lot now, like a lot. Let’s break it down:

Jin- The first person he met, didn’t think much of him at all. A very typical roguish type- talks a lot, not a lot of wit, good with his fingers, a himbo. They’re fast “friends” but Pick really wants a rivalry. Jin is proving to be more than what he appeared, smart, multifaceted. Pick still thinks he’s “better” but he thinks Jin is also necessary. The first person Pick would call a friend. Jins sexual advances make Pick confused and uncomfortable. Pick wishes that Jin would be more real- he saw Jin having his nightmare and associates strongly with him. Pick wants to be able to “hash it out like dudes” but Pick is not one for heavy drinking or drugs or sex. He’s not about to bond and tell sad backstory over getting drunk, which he thinks is the main way that it would come out of Jin. He kinda also wants to see Jin angry, because he thinks that Jin is closing that off too. He thinks Jin is being friendly but he isn’t being “real” with him, which is ironic because Jin is very “down to earth, says it like it is” kind of dude...but he’s not -really- doing it. He’s not being -really real- with Pick right now, which is fine, it’s not the time for it. But can they just have a real conversation? Please? 

Kai- Technically the second person that Pick met after Jin. Strange, youthful nature, naive, good heart. The kind of person you call kid and ruffle up his hair. A tiefling- weird, foreign, strange. The thing Pick honestly doesn’t understand at this point is why the fuck does everyone baby this kid. Yeah he gets scared but that’s a good thing- and hello don’t know if you realized it but Kai is stronger than most of you. Where Pick sees others trying to protect Kai’s innocence, Pick sees someone that needs to be seriously trained if he’s staying in this group. Stop babying him and show him how to properly use his sword. Don’t keep him away from things that give him fear, show him how to kill his fears. Pick doesn’t consider Kai a friend, but he considers Kai the “goodest” person of the group. Pick sees Kai as someone who by every right should turn to evil and is choosing to do good, instead of someone who was just born good and did what was expected of him.

Aspasia- Strange, strange woman. Strong, obviously- but out of place. Why is she here? Why is she connecting with these people. There is a mind behind that muscle that is being ignored- and god Aspasia is literally always thinking about other things. Pick initially thought Callie and Aspasia were lovers- he’s still not really sure? But apparently Sia also is loosy goosy with Jin, he doesn’t understand their friendship at all. Pick and Aspasia haven’t spoken but he feels an unspoken energy between them. Their desire to fight, and OOC I know if they talked their goals would align more strongly than anyone else’s in the group so far. Pick thinks Aspasia needs to speak the fuck up with her words more than her muscles as of late because she’s not talking.

Ida- The absolute largest conflict of interest all in one person. Ida both reflects things that Pick severely, severely hates in this world, while at the same time being the one that most accurately reflects Anders as a person, the person Pick respects the most. This has led to a very very difficult understanding of Ida in Pick’s eyes. Pick hates Ida, he hates that she’s so nice, self sacrificing, puts herself down, acts like the mom, and he hates clerics. He doesnt’ think she deserves to be lied to however. He may hate a lot of the things that Ida represents, but not a single person in the party has Picks -respect- besides her. Pick was going up that hill, and everyone could have yelled at him to turn back and he would not have, the only person that could (and did) convince him in that moment was Ida. Pick will argue with any member of this party but in the end he will do what -Ida- says to do. That’s what she deserves. Not his kindness, not his love or admiration or friendship, but his respect. He’s respecting her because she right now is the closest thing to Anders. And damn if Pick hates that.

Callie- Quiet, curious, Callie. Pick thought her and Aspasia were lovers, he’s still not really sure, but their inseparable nature reminds him of him and Anders- he would never get in between them. Except...for the fact that for whatever reason he fancies Callie. It might be just because she’s someone he can literally talk eye to eye with, but there’s more than that. He appreciates that she doesn’t have to talk a lot, he finds her care for animals endearing even if he’s afraid of horses, and her abilities in combat are varied. Her use of magic frightens him, but she’s hard to read. He does straight up find Callie cute, attractive. In a way that he hopes isn’t creepy he likes...holding her hand and stuff? He thinks she’s very soft, he sees a kind of...goblin nature inside of her? Kinda like a little flame of passion that she keeps really really well hidden- but her understanding of nature, her “going off alone” ness..very goblin like and that draws him to her, and then she doesn’t have a goblins (admitedly, freakish) outward appearance. He likes her a lot, he’s sad that she seems to pull away so often, he blames himself..? Wants to find a way to get through to her. Now that Callie has a wolf Picks childhood dream of being an Outrider was reawakened.

Siril: Big man. Pick does not understand why the hell Siril is here at all. He is by far probably the most out of place person in the group in Picks first impressions, but he’s sticking around. He has been wanting to have an actual just good old getting to know you talk one on one with Siril since the very beginning just based on the fact that he’s interesting! Pick has never seen a Firbolg before, they’re so -different- as people and Pick is totally okay with that! He wants to talk about it! He thought maybe on that watch that they had together last game they’d finally talk but it seems that they most likely spent it in silence. Seeing Siril go from really aggressive to Jin to almost warming up to him, as well as warming up to Sia...hurt Pick a little. Not necessarily as jealousy, but perhaps something similar. Pick thought they had a lot in common, they were the new guys to the group and in Picks opinion he thought they were really the “freaks”. They’re the weird races, and he just feels like he’s...missed out on a shot. He thinks Siril doesn’t really find him interesting and he really can’t place a finger on it but ever since he came to the party Pick wants to impress Siril. That’s why he gave him space when it was clear he was annoyed, that’s why he went along and did as much work on the murder case as he could, it’s why he -went- with Siril to see the widow and gave her all his gold. It’s why when Pick was asked by Siril if he was a good person Pick gave him a truthful answer of “you are useful” because truth is what Pick gives to people that he feels are deserving of a harsh answer. He thought they’d talk more since then and they really haven’t, and Pick wonders if all that time trying to impress Siril was for naught, he really doesn’t have the emotional maturity to figure out why he’s feeling what he’s feeling, but he just has those base feelings. Does he “like” Siril, is he “attracted?” He doesn’t know how to process that, but he had an instinctual desire to impress him, to be seen as useful or interesting to him, and seeing him bond with other people that Pick wasn’t expecting him to (ie, not me, the other “freak”) he feels...hurt by it.

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x12: Rewatch Blog

Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, since it took me forever and a day so long to GIF and post all that whump from the last episode! Really, considering Killian had a bookshelf thrown on him, got beaned in the head with an oar and knocked into the hold of his ship, was beaten viciously with a cane, and then got hit by a car... Well, I think it’s understandable.

But now that’s all done and it’s time for us to watch episode 12 of the second season, “In the Name of the Brother”... Wait, what’s this? Hook’s in the hospital this entire episode? *sigh* Okay, everybody! I’ll see you all next year! ;)

Well, pitifully and hopelessly behind or not, it’s time for another liveblog!

Starting RIGHT where we left off... with Hook in pain and Belle being very, very confused. And Hook in more pain. Haha.

I’ve seen some anti-Hook arguments about how gunshot wounds are so traumatic and take so long to recover from... but I just watched Rumple literally make it “all better” in about five seconds, so I have no idea what that argument was all about. Haha, I forgot he did that, so I just kinda nodded along, like, “Fair point...” but it’s actually not a fair point at all :P

“Hey beautiful!” Hey yourself, beautiful <3

“There’s someone in [the car]!” WELL, I SHOULD HOPE SO. Why is everyone so surprised there’s someone in the car? Do cars regularly drive themselves in Storybrooke? Nevermind. Don’t answer that.

Drinking on the job. Really, Whale?

Oh no... Whale flashbacks. I’ll be honest, I’m not really interested in Whale’s story :/

...I am interested in hot, bloody pirates on gurneys though.

I love how Rumple is in color in these flashbacks, but it just makes me wonder why Whale is in color whenever he visits the Enchanted Forest. Like, shouldn’t he be black and white in their realm if Rumple is in color in his?

And are they going to address the fact that he’s in color?!?!

Suddenly, I’m a little interested in the flashbacks now...

Whoooooa, bad idea, Rumple. I mean, I know what you’re going for right here, but in the world of failed TLKs, this one might be the failiest.

I mean, listen to her scream. WOW. Hard fail. HARD fail.

Well, I always like to segue into a Hook scene by focusing on the handcuffs he’s wearing. It’s, you know, an artistic thing. Very... artsy. Yes. Art.

I love how he’s all grunting and groaning and wincing... and then he spots Emma sitting there and he just freezes like “OH NO. DON’T SHOW WEAKNESS.”

“Again? You’re really into this, aren’t you?” Heehee <3 We all are, baby. Get used to it <3

He’s such a smarmy, adorable little bastard right here. “Chills.”

Okay, but because I’m me, I do have an issue with this scene, and it’s about his left wrist. I get that it’s movie magic and it’s not a real blunted limb. It’s just something to cover Colin’s hand. Fair enough, but why is it SQUARE?? Like, there’s kind of a cube-type quality to it? 

When you inspect it closely, it just looks... square. Like the sides are flat and there’s four corners to it. It annoys me every time I see it.

That said, I do enjoy this scene as a Hook scene and (of course) as a whump scene, but I don’t really care for it in a CS context. I mean, her telling the nurse to hide him was nice, but kind of necessary... but the rest of her actions show a complete and utter lack of care for what’s happened to him. She tells the ambulance crew to let him wait, and then she resorts to torture tactics whilst interrogating him, which - I mean, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every blessed moment of it - is kind of not a glowing character trait in general, let alone a promising sign of impending true love. Although, that said, I would be ALL OVER True Love’s Waterboarding if it were a thing. Just saying.

“Guess another passcode” Dave, you bloomin’ idiot. “Well, you do understand that computer hacking and pickaxe hacking are different?” Hahaha, Leroy <3

One of my favorite Rumple lines right here:

“So glad I don’t give a damn.”

So am I, Rumple. So am I. That’s when you’re the most fun to watch :D

LOL Dave... “Dr. Whale, prep for surgery.” Like, who said there was a surgery? Dave, you’re not a doctor. Dave. Dave, listen. Dave...

And Whale’s just walking out like, “Yes. Prep for surgery. What a fantastic idea. What surgery? When is it happening? Who is assisting? Are there even any other doctors on this staff? WHO KNOWS?! Dave said to prep for surgery!”

“Anyone else notice he’s drunk off his ass?” Hahaha, Dave’s look right here. “Uhh... No, I didn’t notice that, honey, but that DOES explain why he totally took my order to prep for surgery when I’m not remotely qualified to give it.”

SAME, Leroy. Hard same on all accounts.

More flashbacks. “How did you get in here? Who are you?”

WHY ARE YOU IN FUCKING COLOR?!?!?

Wait. Wait. Back the fuck up. “Rumple von Stiltskin”????????

RUMPLE VON STILTSKIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What the fuck did I just hear with my own two ears?!?! When? How? Who?!

“A foreigner.” “What tipped you off, my rosy complexion?” OH, SO WE ARE GOING TO ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. And then drop it like a hot fucking potato. Mm hmmm.

So typical of Rumple von fucking Stiltskin.

LMAO “Are you a philanthropist?” “Well, I’ve been called worse.”

Okay, but where are you going to spend that totally-not-suspicious pile of FULL COLOR gold coins?!?!

I’m just... gonna pretend none of that ever happened.

RUMPLE VON STILTSKIN. Whatever, man. What-ever.

Why is the chipped cup in a display case, though? Like, his entire shop is just full of things on display that aren’t actually for sale. HOW IS HE STILL IN BUSINESS?!??! And where did the von come from?!?!?!

Creepy shit happening... Cora must be arou- Oh, there she is.

Hahahaha “Had hoped you were dead, but hey - disappointment’s just part of life. I’m sure we can agree on that.” LOL, Rumple. VON STILTSKIN.

I am never going to forget this. Or forgive it. Bury me here.

Oh, Cora, you cheatin’ on your boo Hook with Rumple von Stiltskin? Oh, wait. My bad. Mama makes all the rules, and when the pet boy lands himself in the kennel, well, she’s gotta find some new playthings...

Hahahahahahahaha “I’m joking. as far as you know.”

Oh, no... Ger von Hardt has been shot!!! And Vic von Tor has done a runner out the front door! WHAT WILL WE VON DO NOW?!?!?!

“Maybe Doc can do it?” Leroy’s laughter, OMG, hahahahaha, one of the best Leroy moments right here. HAHAHAHAHAHA... NO.

Leroy’s really shining in this episode. Like, he’s only even here to make me like him even more or something. Dave: “[Whale] had his arm ripped off and put back on.” Leroy: “Cool.”

Okay, Cora, I love you, babe, but this is kinda creepy. I mean, you’re sniffing your daughter’s clothes.

Oh wow. This is, hands down, the snazziest hidden underground lair I have ever, ever, ever seen. Regina, your talent is wasted in evil doing and mayoring. Seriously, girl. Get yourself into interior decorating. This is fucking beautiful.

“I think it’s not alright.” Nah, actually on this show, it’s... kinda sorta alright. We really don’t have that high of standards for “alright”ness to begin with, let’s be honest, and even lower ones for parental “alright” behavior.

“Emma and Henry and the two idiots” :D Dave! I think she’s talking about you. Dave! Dave, are you listening? I don’t think he’s listening. Daaaaave.

“Don’t come near me!” LIGHTNING SPEED. “I told you not to- oh, whatever. No one ever listens to me.”

Hahahaha, oh shit. This is gonna go bad. It’s gonna go so bad.

Yep. It went bad.

I love it when Ruby tells people she ate her boyfriend, by the way. It just never stops being hilarious. “Oh, did I mention I ATE MY BOYFRIEND?!”

'Ohhhhhhhhhhh look what I found under my butt!' 'That wasn’t under your butt, it was in my house.' 'But I’ve never been to your house!' 'You were in my house, Mother.' 'No, no, you just keep your car too messy. What’s this?' 'It’s LITERALLY the KITCHEN SINK from MY HOUSE' 'It was under the seat, dear.'

“I was just... stretching my legs. Now I’m gonna go do this thing.”

YEAH. NO IDEA WHY ANYONE WAS WORRIED, WHALE.

NOOOOOOOOO IDEA.

Aw, poor Gerhardt. Ger von Hardt. Neeeever forget.

OH NO, SHE THREW THE CUP OH NOOOOOOO

Oh, wow. Gee whiz, they’re so lucky he didn’t see anything! Wow. That’s so convenient! And so great that Emma knows when people are lying...

Emma’s so done in this scene and I love it, haha.

'We have a long history together so... Yeah, long story short, I’m going to kill EVERYONE HERE if anything happens to Belle.'

“You’re not going to believe what I saw.” Actually, I’m pretty sure she’ll totally believe what you saw, considering you both know magic is real and you came looking for the town and magic wielders in it. Just saying.

ANYWAY... That’s a wrap!

PEW PEW PEW VON PEW!!!! 

[canyousevmyheavydirtysoul]

Northern Downpour. (Ryan Ross x Reader)

Note: :)

Listen to- oh, who am I kidding? You all know what to do. ;)

 ‘Hey moon,

Found this little bistro a few blocks down from my apartment block. It’s really cute and homey – kinda like what you would be like, if you were a bistro.

That sounded weird, didn’t it?

I’m sorry, I’m not very good at this, as I’m sure you can tell. I hope my ineptness doesn’t scare you away – especially not before I’m able to take you out on a date. A real date. Not these Skype ones we’ve been having.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing your face in a freeze-frame during our crappily-connected video calls, but I’m certain that nothing will compare to seeing your beauty in person.

Did I mention that the bistro is Italian? I checked, and they have all of your favorites: lasagne, double-pepperoni pizza, triple-chocolate gelato… You’ll love it.

I know that I’ve said this perhaps a thousand times before, but lately, I’ve found myself thinking of this more and more – in fact, it's been all that has captured my thoughts for a long while now – I want to see you. In person, not through an insufferably small screen.

I want nothing more than to see you standing right in front of me. I know that it’s not the biggest of possibilities at the moment, but I have to keep reminding you of it.

Don’t think that all of these inconsequential barriers keeping us from being together will stop me from seeing you, because I assure you, moon, there is no force in the universe strong enough to keep us apart forever.

I will come for you.

If all our life is but a dream

Fantastic posing greed

Then we should feed our jewellery to the sea

For diamonds do appear to be

Just like broken glass to me

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

Ryan picked up the dried-out, pressed peony that was lying in wait on the desk next to the paper, and carefully slid it into the folds of the letter before placing the page into a faded yellow envelope.

He placed the piece of stationery safely inside the front pocket of his messenger bag before heading out the door; it reached you the next day, on the first of the month – just like all of his letters would.

~

The hasty manner in which you ripped open the envelope caused a laceration on the tip of your finger, but you paid no notice to the sharp sting as you swiftly removed the letter from the confines of the envelope.

Your heart fluttered as you unfolded the paper and saw the peony flurry out, your hand instinctively reaching out to catch it just like it had tens of times before.

Your eyes devoured his written words at lightning speed and before you knew it, you were sitting on the floor next to your wooden, paint-chipped coffee table, authoring your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

You should know by now that there’s no need to apologise for your adorably awkward mannerisms; I adore all of them. And I can only imagine that I would enjoy them even more if I were able to experience them in person.

The thought of seeing you has consumed my mind too. I want it more than anything in the world. Sadly, you know that it’s not possible, as heart-breaking as that is. A freelance writing job doesn’t exactly pay for the bills and an airplane ticket.

I’ve made lovely progress with my novel, though. So much so, that I’ve piqued the interest of an actual publisher, and I’m meeting with them next week. I’m counting on this to be my big break; I could use whatever they pay me to come and see you, and we can go on that date you were talking about.

You along with Italian food sounds like my perfect night.

How is your music coming along? Have you gotten any gigs yet? I miss hearing you sing to me; it was always the part of our video calls that I looked forward to the most. Try and get that laptop of yours fixed, won’t you? I miss seeing your beautiful face.

And those lyrics! Oh, they’re wonderful! I know that you’ve only sent me a few lines, but I have a strong sense that this is going to be my favourite song you’ve written so far.  

I have no doubt in my mind that we will be together. Whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years from now… I know that we will eventually find one another.

And that thought is all that’s keeping me going.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

‘Hey moon,

The sound of your beautiful voice – breathless and bursting with elation as you relayed the wonderful news to me – made me so dizzy with happiness that I had to sit down for a moment. I’d forgotten how much of a high hearing you speak gave me; nothing in the world could ever compare.

I’m tremendously proud of you, darling. You deserve this more than anyone. I know how many sleepless nights this book has given you, so to hear that it’s all going to be worth it is absolutely wonderful.

Things are looking up on my side too. Brendon said that he knows a guy (I think his name is Pete) that might be able to get us a gig, so that’s good. Granted, it won’t be at the most exalted of places, but it’s a start. We’re actually crafting the setlist at present; I took a bit of a time-out to write this letter.

And because it was a tad overwhelming.

I’m aware that us getting a gig is a huge deal – especially if there’s a chance we could get noticed – but I can’t help but feel anxious about it. What if I mess up? Forget the lyrics or play the wrong chords? I know that this is something I’ve been waiting for my whole life, but now that it’s actually going to happen, I feel…

To be completely honest, I don’t know how I feel. Nervous, concerned, sick, useless, all of the above…

But whatever it is, I need it to stop. I don’t want to screw up and let the guys down.

I don’t want to let you down.

And then she said she can’t believe

Genius only comes along

In storms of fabled foreign tongues

Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs

Northern Downpour sends its love

 Hey moon, please forget to fall down

Hey moon, don’t you go down

 Sugarcane in the easy morning

Weather-vanes my one and lonely

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

Whatever interest you had developed in your friends’ conversation vanished instantaneously when you spotted the mailman walking the front path of your faded-brick duplex.

Your nearly empty coffee mug clanged as it was dropped onto the counter-top, catching both of the other girls’ attention. (Y/B/F) was about to question your sudden lack of grip on the piece of crockery, but once she saw you sprinting out the front door and to the mailbox, a knowing smile played on her lips.

Your other friend was not as enlightened, and she furrowed her brows. “What was that about?”

“Today’s the first,” (Y/B/F) smirked, taking a sip from her mug and pulling a smug face as you re-entered the room, “which means that she got a letter from loverboy. What’s he say?” she jerked her head at you.

Ignoring her comment, you practically ripped the pale envelope open, eager to get to the piece of Ryan’s thoughts that was inside. Per ritual, you stuck your hand out and caught the peony, clutching it to your chest as you began to read the letter.

Barely two minutes later, you were penning your response.

 ‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

Don’t you ever, ever, in a million years think that you could disappoint me – it’s just not possible. My love, I am so terrifically proud of you and everything that you do – everything that you create – because it’s all unconditionally magical. You have a gift, and an extraordinary one at that, to craft masterpieces that are able to evoke emotions in people that they didn’t even know they had. You’re a true genius, and I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself the way that you are right now.

As for the guys… I know that they feel the same way. They respect what you do. They adore what you do. And I know that they are exceptionally grateful to have you.

As am I.

You’ve made my world so much brighter and wonderful just by allowing me to know you, and the fact that I’m privileged enough to be able to call you mine makes me wake up with a huge smile on my face every morning.  

To hear you degrade yourself like that breaks my heart. Honestly. I wish that you were with me right now so that I could smack some sense into you.

You’re utterly remarkable, Ryan. Don’t ever think otherwise.

So you’re going to go to that gig, you’re going to get up on that stage, and you’re going to make everyone fall in love with you through your music.

I believe in you, my love. Stay strong.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

 You’d been so immersed in your writing that you had momentarily forgotten about the presence of your two friends, reminded of it only when one of them spoke up.

“How long have you been together for, again?”

“Almost a year,” you sighed with a small smile, gently folding the paper up.

“And you haven’t seen each other in person yet?”

“Nope.”

She grimaced. “Have you said ‘I love you’?”

“No,” you said softly, retrieving a travel bottle of your perfume from the desk drawer, “No, we haven’t.”

~

Everything around him melted into a noisy haze as he stood backstage, guitar slung around his neck as his eyes scanned the page he held in his hand, re-reading the words for what must have been the thousandth time.

Once his pupils had swiped over your signature, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath – both to calm himself down and to inhale the faint scent of your perfume. The fragrance would’ve usually been more potent, but his constant handling of the fragile paper watered it down.

“Two minutes, Ry,” Brendon announced, nudging his friend in the shoulder.

After one last glance over the words on the paper, Ryan folded it up and placed it in the breast pocket of his jacket – right over his heart.

~

‘Hey moon,

I played that gig today. God, I was so nervous; I almost didn’t go through with it. The only thing that got me up on that stage was your words from the last letter. If it weren’t for you, I probably would’ve chickened out.

That being said – I need you to be at the next show. The image of your words on paper was enough to keep me going for tonight, but I’m not sure if that will be the case next time. I need you to be here with me. I need to be able to hold you before I go on stage, I need to hear you whisper that it’s all going to be okay, I need to feel your lips on mine as a silent reassurance…

I just need you.

Kinda weird, isn’t it? The fact that I need someone so badly, but I haven’t even met them yet. I have no idea how that works; all I know is that if I don’t see you soon, I’m going to go insane.

The ink is running towards the page

It’s chasing off the days

Look back at both feet

And that winding knee

I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

 Through playful lips made of yarn

That fragile Capricorn

Unravelled words like moths upon old scarves

I know the worlds a broken bone

But melt your headaches, call it home

My heart, my soul, my life is yours,

Northern Downpour’

~

‘Dearest Northern Downpour,

I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am. You did it. I knew you could do it.

Just goes to show that I’m always right.

You know how much I love listening to you sing, and you know that if I could be there for you at every show, every gig that you play, no matter how big or small, I would. But I can’t right now. Believe me, it’s tearing me apart to not be able to be with you in the way that we both so desperately want. Ache for.

They say that money can’t buy happiness, but you are the thing that makes me most happy, and yet money is the only thing keeping me from you.

Cruel, isn’t it? That a couple hundred dollars is all that’s separating us.

I cried today. It wasn’t intentional; I didn’t mean to. I just thought of what it would be like to actually, physically be with you and I got a little bit too emotional.

There’s not much going on with me, otherwise. My book is still being edited – they said it could take up to another five months to finish. But I’m working on another story in the meantime, about long-distance relationships. Bet you’ll never guess where I got the inspiration for that.

Until next time, my love.

Yours. Forever and always,

Moon’

~

Ryan had just about finished reading your letter when the rest of the band barged into his room, panting and out of breath from running but wearing the biggest smiles on their faces. Ryan leaned backwards out of fear.

“What-“

“DUDE, WE WON!”

“Uh, what?” Ryan shook his head, utterly perplexed. “We won? Won what? I don’t remember entering anything.”

“That show we played the other night,” Brendon explained, rushing over to take a seat on the bed as the other two followed him, “Turns out it was actually a competition! They had undercover judges scoring all the bands that played that week in secret, and we came out on top!” Brendon let out a short, triumphant laugh as he threw his hands up in the air.

“Oh wow,” Ryan widened his eyes, looking at each of his bandmates in turn, “that’s awesome. Well done, boys.”

“But wait,” Spencer held up a finger, “there’s more. Tell him, Bren.”

“We made two thousand dollars, baby!” He exclaimed, practically jumping with joy. “That’s five hundred for each of us. Annnnnd, we get to go to the studio with Fall Out Boy and make our own demo!”

Ryan’s jaw dropped to the floor. “You’re kidding,” he chuckled before frowning and turning to the other two, jutting a thumb at Brendon, “He’s kidding, right?”

When no one supported his claim – just stared at him, smiling like idiots – Ryan let out an incredulous laugh before rushing to stand up.

“Did they give the prize money in cash?”

Spencer nodded.

“Good. Cause I’m gonna need my share.”

~

You stood still as a statue as you stared out the window, boring a hole into the mailbox with the intensity your gaze held. Your eyes flicked over to the clock hanging next to you on the wall, and you continued biting the sides of your fingers raw as you acknowledged the time.

The mailman was two hours late, and today was the first, which meant that every second that ticked by was torturous to you. You knew that sometimes things happen, and there could’ve been numerous reasons as to why the mailman was late, but that fact did nothing to ease your anxiety.

You were worried that something was wrong. That Ryan’s letter either didn’t make it to you this time, or that – God forbid – he hadn’t written one at all. It was a totally irrational thought, but it was present nonetheless.

After another thirty minutes or so of waiting, your nerves couldn’t take it anymore and you started out the door and to the mailbox, silently hoping and praying that the mailman had happened to do his deliveries early today.

Your hopes were soon shattered, however, when you opened the hatch and were met by sweet nothingness. The pain resounding in your chest could only be compared to taking a bullet to the heart; it hurt like a bitch.

Slowly and regretfully, you closed the hatch, trying your hardest to contain the emotions coursing through you. Said emotions were so powerful, in fact, that you hadn’t noticed the presence of someone behind you until they spoke.

“Hey moon.”

Your entire body stiffened as a gasp escaped your lips and goosebumps formed all along your skin. You knew that voice. You’d know that voice anywhere. Even when sounding from the deepest, darkest void of the universe, you would recognise that voice.

And you would run to it.

You almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you turned around, but the sight before you was well worth it. There, standing right in front you, looking as adorably awkward as ever as he held a bouquet of peonies and a faded yellow envelope, was Ryan Ross.

Neither of you could repress the enormous grins on your faces, nor could you stop the tears from spilling over. You wanted to move, or say something, but you couldn’t. Fortunately, Ryan did it for you.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I felt the need to hand-deliver this one,” he explained, holding out the envelope to you; you gripped it with shaky hands, “I think it’s the best one I’ve written so far.”

Tearing the envelope open, you retrieved the piece of paper and unfolded it to reveal three little words.

‘I love you’

_______________________________

Thank you for reading x

Taglist:

@darknessdancing

@raversam

@username-number-01834

@moosesmoose

@underscoredarcy

[lordsicheng]

JBJ Enemies to Lovers Series: Exchanged Student (4/7)

Takada Kenta x OC

Type: bulletpoint scenario

You were close to failing one of your classes

And you were so desperate to pass this subject just so you could get through the semester

So you asked your professor if you could do any other activities for extra credit

And he was honestly close to dropping you from class but of course he felt bad

Because you were better in other subjects

But you just sucked in his own class

So he decided to let you do some tutoring on one of the subjects you were best at

He found out you were best in languages so he set you up as a tutor for one of his students from another class who had a hard time conversing with other people

Mainly because of his lack of understanding the language

And because he was a foreigner

So you just shrugged and took the chance because you really needed to pass

“You start tutoring him by tomorrow. I want you both to meet every 6pm at the library from Mondays to Fridays, maybe also Saturdays if you both had the time, and have two hours of tutorials for the next three months of the semester.”

And you agreed immediately before even asking about the student you were supposed to handle

“Gotcha, sir. I’ll do my best.”

So the day after that, you finished all your classes by 5:30pm

You had a little bit of time to get something to eat in case you get hungry

But the cafeteria was so full that time so you just went to the vending machine

“I hope there’s still those potato chips I loved”

You walked your way to the vending machine to see some guy getting the same chips

And you were afraid it might have been the last bag so you hurriedly went to the vending machine and stood next to him

And well, you were right

He got the last bag

You looked at him and pouted

And he just looked back with a confused expression as he ate the chips

“May I help you?”

“Yeah, those chips…”

“Oh, I’m sorry… I’m really hungry and I have no time to eat, goodbye.”

He just left as he ate the chips and you were shookt

You just sighed as you looked back at the vending machine

And all that was left were some chocolates and two other junk that you didn’t really like

“Fine I’m getting a Kitkat then”

So you got the Kitkat and ate it as you walked your way to the library to find your student

Your professor told you beforehand that there was a tutorial area by the computer room in the library

And you figured your student was already there

So you went to the tutorial area to find your student

But you got confused so you just walked around first

You were relieved to see one of your classmates from one of your classes in there tutoring someone else

So you just went up to her and asked

“Hey, do you happen to know a foreigner here?”

“Most students getting tutored here are foreigners, though”

“Oh right, mine happens to be Japanese”

“What’s his name?”

“Ta…Takada… Kenta?”

“Oh that guy with the red sweater at the next table”

You looked over and he was already looking at you too

And you were shocked it was the same person who took the last bag of chips you wanted

“What fate”

You just went up to him and sat next to him as you smiled

“Hi, I’m y/n. Your tutor.”

“Oh, the girl who wanted the chips, my bad. They were good, though”

Is he serious

“Can he be at least happy I didn’t snap at him or something”

“Be thankful I’m nice, kid”

You just continued on and taught him mainly the basics of the Korean language even with those thoughts

But he was getting a bit stubborn whenever you taught him everything from the beginning

“I already know this????? Can’t we advance”

“You need to learn the basics properly before we could advance”

He was becoming a headache the more you taught him that day

Because he kept acting like he already knew this and that

So you tested his skills and did a spelling quiz

You only gave a few sentences and he just nodded as he wrote all of them

So once you were done he gave his paper

And you were mortified to see he only got 2 out of 10 sentences right

“Are you kidding me”

“Was I good?”

“Not a bit”

So he just sighed and told you the two hours was up

And you looked at the clock to see you had ten minutes left

But once you turned back to look at him he was already out the door

“This kid is a bit of a prick”

So the next few weeks of you tutoring him were kind of the same

He’d often say he knew this, he wanted to learn that

But you did see him gradually become better in Korean

And once the semester was almost over, so were your sessions

“Hey, you’re getting better in Korean than I expected”

“Thanks, I’ll ace the test for sure”

You were glad to know you passed your class in the end with the help of the extra credit you did for your professor

And your professor told you that Kenta passed his language skills test too

You were really happy for him

But you knew you’d probably end up not having to be friends with each other

So you just sighed and moved on

Until

You were lacking a few credits for your whole school year

Which meant you’d have to take one summer class

And you just felt your world break down because you didn’t know what to take

You directly ran up to the registrar’s office to check on classes you could take

And the only ones available for summer were mostly language classes and some minors

You knew for sure you didn’t want to take any minors at all so you just checked on the language classes list

“French… Spanish… Italian… Chinese…… Japanese?”

You then thought, hey why not take Japanese

Kenta did teach you a few words back then

So you signed up for Japanese classes that were to start in two weeks

And boy, did you just regret it

You widened your eyes as you looked at the board with all the characters you needed to learn by the end of the week

And you were so frantic about the whole learning system you definitely needed help

So you went to the registrar again to ask her if you could have tutorials for Japanese language

“We don’t have any tutors that specialize in those subjects, Ms. y/n, we’re sorry”

Bummer

So you decided to go to your old professor again in hopes he could help

And he suddenly remembered one specific person

“Why not ask Kenta?”

“What, no? Is he even here for summer classes?”

“It’s his last semester here before he goes back to Japan”

And you were shocked but then again you thought he probably missed his home

So same as your schedules, you both would meet on weekdays at 6pm

But you asked the professor to tell him to just meet you at the gates instead and have your tutorial elsewhere

Like probably as parks, cafés, even restaurants if it was possible

So he agreed and told Kenta himself

The day after that you waited for Kenta first at the gates of the campus

You finally saw him after ten minutes walking with his head down

And you called him once he was nearer

“Kenta! Thanks for accepting the tutorial offer”

But once he looked at you he just chuckled and his expression was quite off

“You again?”

“Excuse me?”

“Did you tell Mr. Jeon you wanted me as your tutor just to spend more time with me?”

“What the hell Kenta I just wanna pass this class”

“Sure you do”

Wow was he quite full of himself

So you decided to go to this café nearby because there were also study desks which were convenient

And Kenta just followed you all the way with his hands in his pocket

You immediately got a desk fit for two people and ordered for both of you too

“I ordered some pasta for each of us if you don’t mind”

“Whatever”

You just gave him a confused look but nonetheless grabbed out your Japanese learning book

And he just chuckled once he saw the book

“Are you serious are we really gonna have to learn using this book”

“But I do need notes too????”

“Yes but books aren’t always accurate you know”

“Can you just teach me properly”

Like the beginning, he taught you stuff you already knew aka the basics

You were a bit impatient and worried because he was teaching you the basics over and over again

“I know you’re Japanese but can you at least teach me some other stuff”

“You were like this to me last semester and now I’m just doing the same”

“Huh???”

“We’re exchanged students you know”

“What do you mean”

“I was your student, now you’re my student. So we exchanged roles”

You got so confused on how he just interpreted everything

But shrugged it off and just listened to him teach you

And to your surprise, he wasn’t really a bad tutor at all

You didn’t notice you both were talking for the past two and a half hours

So you just told him it was time

“But I thought we were gonna have tutorials for three hours???”

“Nope, bye”

You swiftly walked away and he just decided to go out as well and follow you out

“So, see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, and prepare for a quiz”

“What???”

“You gave me a quiz on our first session when you were my tutor, you’re lucky I didn’t remember earlier on”

Wow was he really this kind of person

So you just waved and said goodbye as you ran off to get a bus home

He just laughed as he looked at you running off

And he thought you looked cute too

For the next few weeks he was quite helpful in a way since he taught you what he really knew

And slowly you guys became closer

Kinda

Plus you got to know him better a bit too

But next few sessions were almost just the same

He taught you the ones you already knew about the language

So you figured he was just making sure you knew the basics before going further

But what worried you was that even though your tutorial sessions weren’t advancing a lot

Your classes were

“Ms. y/n, you’re doing pretty bad on your quizzes and summer classes are about to end. Is something bothering you?”

“None, ma’am. I do have a tutor, I’ll go over this with him.”

So that time you marched your way to go to Kenta as he was the one who waited for you at the gates this time

Once you saw him you just slammed the quizzes you failed on his chest

And he was startled at what you just did

“If we don’t go over this tonight I’m going to fail”

“Are you sure you want to go forward this much”

“If I actually fail I’m going to push you off a cliff”

He suddenly became quite remorseful over what he was doing to you for the past few weeks

So once you both got to the café you both frequently had tutorials at

He immediately went over the quizzes with you and actually taught you properly this time

And you were relieved because you learned quickly after all the classes and him explaining to you accurately too

So once you both were done for the session hat time you felt confident enough to pass the class

And you looked at Kenta once you both got out of the café

“Why did you keep teaching me the most basic stuff?”

“I won’t lie to you when I say learning Japanese is a long process. And I wanted to push your buttons at times so I just did that.”

“I know, but you could at least teach me the ones that were covered in class”

“As long as I can help you pass this time, I’ll do it”

You were surprised at how he was actually willing to help you pass

So as a thank you gift you asked him to have dinner with you at your favorite chicken place

“Wait, just the two of us??”

“Why not? We’re just gonna eat and talk anyways”

“But would people think we’re dating?”

“They don’t peep into our business anyway so come on”

You dragged him to the restaurant that was just a a block away

And you ordered a lot of chicken for just the two of you to eat

Because the seats around the restaurant was becoming quite limited due to the number of people

You ended up sitting next to each other

But you both didn’t mind either since you both just really wanted to eat

“Dig in, my friend”

Kenta loved eating chicken and so did you

And while you both were eating you both ended up having a proper conversation

You both got to know each other better and you thought it was really nice

And he started to open up to you as well

He admitted he was usually nice around people but he started to become really shy

All because his Korean wasn’t really good before

But he thanked you for helping him out and he said he wants to make sure you were gonna learn Japanese as soon as possible too

He even said he’d be your tour guide if ever you wanted to visit

Midway to you two eating you had ketchup on the side of your lip

And Kenta noticed this and just looked at you

“Yes?”

“Ketchup on your lip”

“Where?”

“Sigh, I’ll get it”

He grabbed a napkin as he wiped the ketchup off of your lip

And you smiled as a thank you

But he ended up staring at your lip and then to your eyes

And you ended up staring back at him too

It went like that for a short while

Until

Dun dun dun

Kenta just goes in and kisses you

And you close your eyes for a bit but opened them after like two seconds after realizing

“Oh shit did he just”

He widened his eyes at what he just did and ended up looking down

“Holy shit why did I kiss her”

He slowly looked at you again and you were just looking at your plate of chicken

“Did I just-“

“Let’s finish eating”

So he just nodded and went back to eating

It then became quite awkward the more you guys ate and sat together

So once you both were done you both just paid and skedaddled out

You forced a smile as you waved goodbye to Kenta

And he just gave you a nod and went the other way

You couldn’t help but blink a lot while walking because you were so stunned over what just happened

“Why did he kiss me”

“Did he do that on purpose or”

On the other hand, Kenta just walked fast and decided to get a taxi home

He was mentally punching himself over and over

Because what the hell did he just do

“Shit what happened”

“And I thought these things only happened in movies"

He tried to calm himself down as he got a taxi and went straight home

The next day during your class you couldn’t think properly

Mainly because of what happened last night and it got to a point where you almost forgot everything you learned from Kenta

Then suddenly, you snapped back in reality and realized you knew a lot of what the teacher was talking about the whole class

In which, you became so excited and thought

“Wow, I better tell Kenta this”

but then again

“Oh right, the kiss happened”

But heck you wanted to just get over it

Because you thought Kenta was in a daze that time and just accidentally did it

Or so you believed

So once class was over you tried to contact Kenta

And you were relieved he answered back your call

“Hey, uhh, so my classes officially end tomorrow and it’s also gonna be my final test so can we-“

“Meet me at the gate in five minutes”

Wow he sounded really serious

But yes you were actually going to ask him to meet with you

So once you got to the gate you already saw Kenta walking back and forth while looking down

And you knew right then and there what happened the night before was still in his mind

So you ran up to him and he got startled on your arrival

“Hey, Kenta, I just want to thank you so much I actually learned a lot and understood my professor this time”

“That’s nice, y/n, but-“

“And I hope we can have an extra hour of tutorial I really need you to help me this time”

“Sure I’ll do that but y/n-“

“Oh and what happened last night, please forget it”

Then he suddenly became quiet, and you did too

You both ended up looking at each other for quite a while again until he broke the silence

“I’m leaving Saturday night”

“Leaving… where?”

“For Japan, I’m going back”

And you felt your heart drop for some reason

Because as much as you hated him the first time you met him

And you were sure he felt the same in the beginning but not sure about now

You felt a connection with him that you really felt like you were surely gonna miss him

Sure communications through e-mails and kakaotalk was possible

But  it really would feel different if he just wasn’t physically there

You did realize that of course, he has to go back

And letting go was just the best option because you can’t just stop him

“Okay. So, can we have an extra hour tonight?”

“Alright”

So he did his best on helping you out for finals that night and made sure you understood even the harder questions you were always sidetracked by

And you both didn’t really waste time and kept on going back and forth your notes

In the end, you felt ready for finals because he was for once very serious with you

And you suddenly felt butterflies in your stomach whenever you noticed he’d glance at you as he continued on teaching lots of words

But then again, you just had to accept reality that you might not see him again for the longest while

After you both were done with the tutorials, Kenta felt awkward being with you for too long

And asked if he could go ahead home

So you just nodded because you knew how he felt

You just shrugged it off because you really wanted to pass the test

So yes, finals have arrived

You looked at the paper and thought, hey I could probably do this

And you totally did know a lot of the questions

You actually felt like you would definitely pass this class

Once you were done you called Kenta

But he wouldn’t answer his phone

So you suddenly got worried and ran towards the gate

He wasn’t there

Obviously, you thought

So you dialed his number for more than 11 times and he finally answered

“Sorry, I was packing my stuff”

“Please meet me right now”

“I’m at home though”

“Where do you live”

He gave you his address then and there and you quickly went to his apartment

Where you saw a few boxes of his stuff around the living room

He was running around cleaning and fixing the boxes

And you just looked at him

Then you suddenly blurted out

“Please don’t leave”

And he just stopped once he closed one of his boxes while his back was turned to you

You thought he didn’t hear so you just ran and backhugged him

“I said please don’t leave”

Kenta couldn’t hide his grin off of his face but he tried to remain calm

“Why not”

“Because for some reason I’m really going to miss you and end up looking for you everyday”

Oh how his heartbeat started going faster as he was trying to hold in his laughter

“Are you somehow saying you like me?”

You widened your eyes but you knew that it was now or never

“Yes, I like you a lot Kenta and even though we didn’t start in a good note and we were just plainly hateful of each other, I felt a connection with you that I don’t even understand myself”

He just sighed and turned to look at you

“Hey, I like you too.”

And you just couldn’t hide your smile

Your cheeks were starting to burn up and you knew then and there you were blushing

“Also, I need to tell you one thing”

“What is it?”

“I’m not leaving, I’m just moving apartments.”

“Excuse me?”

You were baffled as he told you this

And Kenta laughed so hard he almost fell on the box he was standing next to

“I wanted to scare you for some reason”

He said as he just hugged you tightly and you buried your face in his chest

“Good job idiot you scared the fuck out of me”

“I’m sorry, but I’m here whenever you need me”

“I need you to make me dinner because I’m starving”

“I didn’t major in food business in high school for nothing”

[moonlogue-blog-blog]

2020.11.18 

i’m sitting here at 37 minutes past 4 am in the morning

just had a bowl of curry that i didn’t (couldn’t finish) last night

it was warming even though it was ‘cold’. the peppers did it. 

dark chocolate is supposed to be okay and good for me. with this ovarian cyst. 

and supposedly other foods with potassium. they said even bananas. 

from last i heard from a friend living here on the island, there are some locallly grown bananas. but it’s definitely not an indigenous plant or vegetable or fruit here. 

what is a banana?

we call it a fruit. 

what is a tomato? 

is it a vegetable?

how do we determine what is called what?

what is a boy?

what is a girl?

is it about genitals?

so the woman i teach english to these days (introduced kindly by my dear sister amy) is so cute. 

she is like this twinkling fairy. and then i’m curious, just as she is curious, about what various ‘sides’ she has underneath those layers of shine. she is a mother. she has two sons. and she has a husband. she has a mother. and probably a father. and she has the desire and will and drive to learn english. her sons go to an international school (american education system) here in jeju island. i live close to this area called the ‘english education city’ or ‘korean international school’ village/town/city whatever you wanna call it. i mean, it is a pretty big piece of land. i mean, it’s a lot of forests that they cut down for this. and i mean, there are just way too many foreign cars rolling around here, at least, a lot more than i’m kind of comfortable seeing or passing. especially in a town like this, in an island like this, where it’s like, if you have a bmw or a porsche, you know it came by boat from the mainland or somewhere else. i’m guilty too though, you know. i order stuff alot now. i used to limit and really monitor how much i ordered stuff online. last year when i first moved here, i was almost starving sometimes because 1. i didn’t want to use the refrigerator (in the dead middle of the summer) 2. i didn’t want to add carbon footprint by ordering things online conveniently and 3. i didn’t want to make a lot of trash. but then eventually you know what i did? i went to the gs25 15 minute walk away to get beer, chips and ice cream. and wine. and sweets. and cookies. and ramyun. all kinds of shit. 

trash. what is trash really anyway? it’s unwanted or un-useable parts of things that we use. things we don’t think we need or want. they have no use for us, so we throw it away. 

my friend saewon sent me a youtube link to a korean guy talking about the difference between good and bad people. it was literally that - he was saying the people you can trust are the ones who will stay by your side because they have some use for you. basically, they have something that they’d be able to benefit or get from you. even gain or suck out of you, by being within your circle or keeping you in their life. but if they betray you or leave you, it’s because they have decided that you are no longer of use to them. they don’t need you anymore. there is no more juice to suck on. 

i thought that was pretty intense - at least they way he put it - sounded so…transactional? calculating? impersonal? and kinda, cold. it kinda shatters the whole notion of the korean jung정. you know?

i’ve been talking about a project that i’ll be working on. or that i am working on. 

i mean, it’s hard to say when an actual project starts or finishes specifically. 

it could have begun years ago when some ideas started seeding within your mind and body and heart. it could have technically begun when you decided to sit down and make a proposal of the project and send it in as an application for funding. it could begin the day that you decide to go and do the first shoot or write the first draft or make the first copy or whatever you do. 

how could i still think of that day? 

with such memory precision, i search back and look for these clues. 

i look in to details. 

kinda obsessively. 

but also inquisitiviely

because i am curious

do you like me?

have you found interest in me?

what do you like about me?

how can you fancy me?

what can i do?

how can i flaunt?

but then, 

i see you

and i 

like 

you

 so here it is, another dilemma, not particularly between two choices or anything. 

but more of an existential question about ‘what is it to be human?’

‘what is it to be a woman?’

‘what does it mean to be balanced? both masculine and feminine?’

perhas we were the only two that applied

eitherway

it was meant to be

and even if there is no competititon

then even better

i didn’t have to beat someone else to get what i wanted

it was fair

we all got stuff to do

people were not applying to go outside of their bubble anyway

unless they were set on being free

and playing by their own rules

and that’s been the subject of a lot of conversation

i mean, why can’t i wear no bra to work with male coworkers?

why can’t i just be myself with my crazy hair shaved or spiking out in the most awkward growth stages?

well, i should ask myself that question

because no matter what, and even though the society has their unwritten rules and some actual outright laws and stuff, 

i mean, i know what’s right for me and i know what’s true to me, right?

or i should hope so. that this is the case. 

but then, we are always compromising. 

always

com

prom

i

zing

we talked about that while we were sitting on the rock over the ocean. 

the waves were so silky smooth 

and the wind wasn’t too cold even after sunset

but we did eventually get up and leave before it got too dark

she was smoking cigarettes

and blaming me for it

that i had given her the most delicious cigarettes and called it ‘cloud candy’

i was just repeating what my friend in the east coast told me, 

that she’d go and have some ‘cloud candy’ when she was actually going to have a secret cigarette at the corner of her yard. 

she was a farmer, a builder, a writer, a - many things. a mother. a wife. a pioneer. a mover and a shaker. and she was sick too. but aren’t we all a bit sick? in heart mind and body? and spirit. 

but i wonder if the spirit ever gets sick. or it just gets…stuck. or misunderstood. or angry maybe? perhaps? but it doesn’t get sick. right?

when my cousin was having her seizure like episode, 

she said a few things to me that were unreal. 

like how did she know about the things she was saying out loud to me?

it was as if she was possessed. 

it was as if she knew something that i didn’t know, 

that she saw things

and she knew things

and yes she was incredibly drunk

and she just knew things

was she and is she also part shaman?

a seer?

perhaps she was, and now she is a devout christian. 

she said that before she converted to christianity, her spirit was tormented by a visciously angry resentful female ghost/spirit. also her younger sister, my other cousin, had these nightmares or night terrors or sleep paralysis kind of experiences, right before she was trying to convert to christianity. and then once she converted she said she’s been having no problems. they are both, ‘happily’ married, and doing quite alright. i guess. 

i mean, who’se to say that marriage is right or wrong?

i mean, i don’t know. 

i like that my parents got married, even when they hardly knew eachother, because thanks to them getting married, i was born. and my brother was born before me. of course. 

and we were a family, and we are a family. for the rest of our lives, and onwards, even if we don’t want to be. it’s in the blood and there’s no denying that. 

i liked many people. it was just like an instinctual thing. 

with girls, we’d become best friends and then because of something, we’d get angry pissy or jealous and then we’d have the worst most dramatic fight. argument. break up. 

and then with boys, i’d just crush on them. i’d be like, oooh whose that boy? i like hiiiim. and then i’d spread that to my friends and indirectly let him know that i’ve got a thing for him. that i got my eye on him. but then i’d be so shy. i wouldn’t really make a move or anything. 

the first time i probably made a move on someone first, was when i was at this punk rock show in hawai’i and i asked a girl that i met there if she wanted to be a part of my love life. i mean, that’s not exactly how i started the conversation. i was dancing. and it was crowded. not my type of music but then my fellow radio station djs and friends were there. so i see this girl dancing in front of me, and she had a tattoo that was a korean letter or word or something on the back of her neck. so i was curious. and maybe a little high. so i tapped her on her shoulder and it was loud. but she turned around from the touch, and i don’t remember what i said through the noise but i must have asked her about her tattoo. and why she has it? and i think i heard through the drums and guitars that she was half korean. or something like that. we kinda tried to talk but it wasn’t working with the punk rock. but she did say something after looking into my eyes or face. and i could make out her lips or just the energy of what she said. she said ‘you’re beautiful’. and i think i embarassed her by repeating what she said. she probably thought i couldn’t hear her.

i was already smitten by crystal. they were everything. i mean, i couldn’t figure it out cos i guess i was mostly in to boys at the time. but here was this being. that just was like, unbelievable and strange and beautiful and alluring and soft and amusing and curious and incredibly attractive. i couldn’t understand this attraction. but it was real. it’s not like i ignored it, but i was perhaps waiting to see. or keeping an eye on it. or just…participating in this getting to know eachother. 

i eventually went down on her. she had jeans on. we were kissing. finally. after laying in this mattress for a while. in her friend’s living room. i was wondering if we were gonna play around. fool around. but she just lay still, there. close to me. but not making any moves. 

so i think i might have tapped her on her shoulder again. to be like, ‘hey, i thought we were gonna make out or do something’. haha. that was ridiculous. but honest. and straightforward. so we did. we proceeded. with soft kisses. probably the softest i’ve ever tasted. ever felt. on my lips. and on my tongue. on my skin. and she was supple. she was wet. she was soft. and then i couldn’t help but go down towards her belly, then her jeans. unbotton. and then zip down. and then off. i smelled her. it was fishy. i was surprised. the odor was so alive. so visceral. so strong. and then i think i just devoured her. i’m not even sure what i did. but i enjoyed it greatly and just allowed myself to go into it and enjoy it more. and i think, she did as well. 

(i’m supposed to have written 30,000 words by today if i have kept track with writing at least 1,666 words per day since november 1st. then i’d be able to finish writiing a 50,000 word novel by the end of november. how? just writing. i mean, not even with much of a plot. just about my life. and how i’ve been living.  and currently, i’m at 4,643 words. it’s day 18.)

wish me luck. 

[unchain-the-escapist]

Jurassic Meteor [Part 7]

““It’s... sti… there. In its cage.”

A cold chill had Floor’s spine in a tight grip, her eyes meeting Charlotte’s.

They had to get Merel out of there.

“Wait there are peo-“

“GET THEM OUT OF THERE NOW!””

Meteor (Merel/Charlotte/Floor) (Romantic pairing)

Words: 1734

Other parts (x)

It was hot. Extremely hot as Merel entered the ground floor of the enclosure, her shirt already sticking to her skin. They were treading carefully, the security guy Nick had seemed to invite Ellis who was managing the crane. Merel had to admit to herself that she was scared shitless as she walked further and further into the enclosure. Every leaf moving drew her attention, every sound made her breathe just a bit harder. And then they were finally there. By the wall. Merel looked at the deep marks, looking at them in slight fear. She was used so used working with the raptors that she rarely visited any of the other dinosaurs in the park, and the sheer size of the Indominus felt so foreign to her.

“That wall's forty feet high. You really think she could've climbed out?” Nick said, his voice sounding skeptical.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

Merel walked closer and let her hand touch the marks, the dents making her heart race.

“What kinda dinosaur they cooked up in that lab...”

------------

“You stupid piece of-“ Floor kept going as she dialed the number for the control room for probably the sixth time in a row, getting either nothing or statics. This was unbelievable. They may have a dinosaur loose and she couldn’t even warn people about it. Becoming so frustrated that she nearly hurled the phone against the wall, Floor began moving around in the room as she dialed, nearly crying of relief as she heard Anette’s voice at the other end.

“h…ell.. hello?”

“Anette! Get me the coordinates of the Indominus!”

“I’m.. ing…t…right…ow.”

Looking across the room, the brunette noticed how Charlotte had her forehead pressed up against the glass, her eyes never stopping their movements as they looked out over the jungle. Did she believe that the Indominus was still out there? That was impossible! The marks were so clear and they couldn’t get a reading on the chip. It had to have escaped! How far had it gotten? It must have been at least two hours since Floor had been here with Ms. Turunen. And she was pretty sure that the marks hadn’t been there before.

“It’s... sti… there. In its cage.”

A cold chill had Floor’s spine in a tight grip, her eyes meeting Charlotte’s.

They had to get Merel out of there.

“Wait there are peo-“

“GET THEM OUT OF THERE NOW!”

Running to her wife’s side, they both began banging on the glass to try to get Merel’s attention.

“MEREL!” Charlotte screamed, her voice cracking heart-achingly. On the other line, Floor heard how Sharon tried to reach Merel’s walkie-talkie. Hopefully the call wouldn’t be too late.

------------

“...area... ...Paddock 11... ...dock 11, do you copy...”

Snapping her attention away from the marks, Merel looked from Nick’s walkie-talkie to the dense jungle around her. She couldn’t see anything, but a feeling began to bloom in her chest, the hairs raising at the back of her neck. It felt like something was watching her.

“Yeah, what’s the problem?”

A sound. There was a sound coming from somewhere. A frantic pounding. Looking up, Merel spotted Floor and Charlotte slamming their hands against the windows. Charlotte was crying, Floor looked terrified.

“It’s in the cage! It’s in there with you!”

Merel could feel how her entire body turned stone cold before the adrenaline kicked in, stomach dropping as her feet kicked into gear.

“Go!”

The control room. They had to reach the control room on the other side of the enclosure. Beyond the jungle. Ellis was in front of her, the man’s heavy breaths could already be heard. Just as Merel had gotten up some speed, a shadow passed in front of her, making her stop dead in her tracks. Meter long claws, teeth that could easily crush bones, eyes that pierced into your soul.

The Indominus rex.

Withholding a gasp, Merel quickly turned and ran in the opposite direction, letting her fight or flight mode take over. She had to get out, she had to. She was not done in this life yet. Feeling the breeze of what she thought was a claw, Merel nearly felt her life flashing before eyes. And felt how her heart dropped as she heard a scream and a loud crunch of bones.

It had caught Ellis.

She spotted Nick, his hand pressing down on a touchpad, a door opening next to him. It must be the exit. Running as fast as she could as the ground shook underneath her, Merel could see how Nick disappeared through the opening, the door already closing. Pushing her legs to the absolute limit with the dinosaur’s breath hitting the back of her head, the blonde made it through the door right before it closed, concrete and steel breaking as the Indominus tried squeezing through as well, pebbles hitting Merel’s calves and back. Seeing a car right as the dinosaur broke through, the blonde slid underneath it and onto her stomach.

Merel was hyperventilating, adrenaline pumping painfully through her veins. A dinosaur was free. An experimental and highly dangerous animal was free. A predator.

------------

Barely thinking about where she put her feet as she rushed down the stairs, Floor chased after her wife.

“We have to help her!” Charlotte kept screaming, and Floor responding in a pleading voice for her to stop. Every fiber in her being had gone into protective mode with her first priority being her wife. She would not let her step out into danger, not with a dangerous predator on the loose. No matter how much her insides shouted at her to save Merel too. The blonde knew what she was doing and how to behave around predators, but this was different. Her interactions were on her terms, but now it was on the dinosaur’s.

As they reached the door, Floor didn’t manage to stop Charlotte from opening it, her hand clenching around a wrist instead. And it was lucky that she did, seeing that the dinosaur had already reached the front yard, bending down to investigate the underside of a car.

“Let me go!” Charlotte close to yelled, Floor shushing her as to not wanting to grab the Indominus’s attention.

“I will not let you go out there! You could get killed!”

“And what about Merel?”

Floor’s breath got stuck in her throat, worry bubbling in her chest. The last Charlotte and Floor had seen of her was when she had looked up at them while they were banging on the windows, not long before Sharon’s panicked voice had reached Floor through the phone.

“She’s fine. She has to be.”

Bringing Charlotte closer to her body so she could put her arms around her, Floor watched as the dinosaur lost interest in the car, Charlotte’s heartbeat pounding against her upper arm. The brunette felt like throwing up from the worry, knowing that she would break if something ever happened to Merel. She could just about make out the blood coating the side of the Indominus mouth, teeth no longer white but stained in red. This was the first time Floor had seen her out in the open like this, the raw power nearly vibrating of the dinosaur’s body. The potential she gave off was still strong, Floor couldn’t deny that. And now this had happened. It must have been one major malfunction of the system for this to happen.

Gasping as the dinosaur flipped the car, Floor felt how her blood ran cold as she saw the security guard sitting there in the open. Then where had Merel gone? She couldn’t have made it too far, if she had made it at all. No, she couldn’t think like that. Merel was hiding somewhere.

A small and choked shriek escaped Charlotte’s and Floor’s mouths as the Indominus bent down and snapped her jaws around the guard’s body and lifting him off the ground. Crunching sounds could be heard not long after, as well as blood dripping onto the ground.

“No…” Floor heard Charlotte whisper, her face hiding in Floor’s arms.

The dinosaur was on the move once more, this time moving to the other car standing there. This time it took its time to investigate it. Was there someone hiding underneath it?

After nearly digging her nose into the ground, the dinosaur turned and walked away into the jungle around the enclosure. Both Floor and Charlotte stood still for a while, calming their rapidly beating hearts, Floor kissing the top of Charlotte’s head over and over again, closely watching the car.

Her heart nearly broke out through her chest as someone crawled out from underneath it. She recognized that vest and blue blouse.

Merel.

Charlotte sprang into action long before Floor did, her legs taking her down the stairs to the ground floor at a near impossible speed.

“Merel!” the redhead shouted, the blonde quickly turning her head towards the sound.

Floor followed her wife, her eyes watering as Charlotte wrapped her arms around Merel’s body, the blonde this time returning the gesture. She was alive. As Floor got closer she could clearly sense the smell of gasoline in the air, the smell stronger the closer she got to Merel.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Charlotte asked when she pulled away, thumbs caressing Merel’s cheeks. The blonde had splatters of gasoline all over her upper body, her hand holding a knife.

“I’m… I’m fine…” the blonde said in a trembling voice, Floor’s heart breaking at the tone. She had only heard Merel having that type of tremble before and that was when she had broken up their trio.

There was a moment between the two of them, the look in Merel’s eyes shifting from shock to longing and relief. For a split second it was there, filling Floor’s chest with hope, and then the look was gone. Just like that.

“I… I drenched myself with gas so it wouldn’t pick up my scent…We have to… we have to get to the control room.” Merel said, putting her knife in her holster and breaking the intense eye contact she had with Charlotte.

“Yes, we must hurry.” Floor said after clearing her throat, her eyes instinctively looking for any injuries on Merel’s body, Charlotte giving the blonde another hug.

“Let’s go there by car.”

Running towards the car, they all got in, Floor speeding away quickly. Hopefully it wasn’t too late to fix this.

[singingwordwright]

Shadowhunters recap - s2ep19 “Hail and Farewell”

SHADOWHUNTERS Recaps Intro and Masterlist

These recaps may contain spoilers from the books (that may or may not happen in the show.) Proceed at your own risk.

Recap and meta under the cut.

I thought this was a really great way to lead into the episode. Throughout the season, we’ve seen this steady progression of Sebastian unraveling (yes, I know he’s actually Jonathan, but in the books he adopts the Sebastian identity For Reasons and others have a hard time thinking of him as anything else For Reasons, so we’re going with that.) His plans have been thwarted at every turn, with the possible exception of getting Valentine away from Clave custody, and that didn’t turn out the way he intended either.

In fact, it’s only gotten worse since he decided not to banish Valentine to Edom after all, because now Valentine is getting in his head all the time, chipping away at whatever is left of his sanity, preying on his need for approbation, manipulating him into playing by Valentine’s rules.

It makes you wonder what his plans were for AFTER he banished Valentine to Edom. What was his next step if he’d followed through there? Did he intend to just settle into an “ordinary” Shadowhunter life as Sebastian Verlac and hope he was never found out?

Clary claiming she knew something was off about Sebastian—since when? Since she pretty much started confiding in him the instant he showed up at the Institute? Other than being put off by his romantic attentions, what indication did she ever give that she didn’t think he was A-OK?

Still LOVE seeing badass Izzy back in the field.

The dialogue about the “possessing” demon (like, is that the name of the subspecies? Because it’s spoken as if it’s the name and yet it’s more of a description) like the one that killed Jocelyn was a little clunky (like, when were we ever given an indication that the one that killed Jocelyn could take control of dead bodies?) But it did serve its purpose in establishing that Valentine can still control demons with the Mortal Cup. Which we the viewers already knew, but apparently the characters needed it confirmed somehow?

I did hate seeing that final indignity visited upon poor Sebastian Verlac, though. He didn’t deserve that.

I thought this shot of Izzy and Clary responding with “hail and farewell” was interesting because of the difference in their faces. Clary recites the words, but Izzy closes hers, and her face is much more intent.

It reminded me a lot of the times that I, as a person who isn’t Catholic, have attended mass with Catholic friends.

It says a lot about the disparity in their upbringing. They’re both Shadowhunters, yes, but for Clary, being raised as a mundane, this is a foreign custom that she participates in out of politeness. She’s trying to adopt it but she doesn’t really feel it. Izzy, however, is legitimately devout. This is part of her cultural identity, and these words, this rite, is sacred to her.

Which makes the utter scorn with which she uses them at the end of the episode all that much more powerful.

I literally spent this entire scene moaning “nooo, don’t tell anyone about the Mirror!” but of course they do. Which I kinda-sorta get because of course they need to get guards on the lake, but surely they should know by now that the Clave has more leaks than a sieve? Not to pat myself on the back, but I think the suggestion Maryse made in the short fic I posted last week, of notifying the werewolf packs in Idris and convincing them to patrol the lake, was far more sensible.

Admittedly, that could be because I’ve read the synopsis for s2ep20 and know there’s a traitor somewhere.

This scene is meant to give us the impression that Imogen might be that traitor, I suspect, but I’m 99% certain that’s a red herring. First of all, there’s simply no way she’s going to work with Valentine. She truly and sincerely despises him. Second, one of Jace’s family members turns out to be a traitor? Haven’t we already gone to this well a few too many times?

I actually suspect Imogen might die next week, though, because Inquistor Herondale in the books was long dead by this point (she dies immediately after realizing Jace is her grandson) and during the sequence of events in the books that the show is presently modeling itself after, Inquisitor Aldertree (who had taken her place) is killed by Valentine. Let’s hope Imogen’s death isn’t a gruesome as that one was.

So, Imogen here says “I’ll speak to Consul Malachi.” Let’s get into that, shall we?

The anti-Downworld/Nephilim-supremacist rant voiceover in the promo for next week’s episode is, in fact, Malachi Dieudonné. I didn’t originally recognize him as a character from the books because Izzy refers to him in s2ep15 ‘Councillor Dieudonné’ (closed captioning says ‘Consul Dieudonné’ but it sounded like ‘Councillor’ when I watched it) and in the books he’s called Consul Malachi. So Imogen referring to him as Consul Malachi here is the first time I put it together.

In the books, yes, Malachi is a traitor, and clearly he is going to be on the show as well. But on the show, we have literally ZERO investment in this character. Until now, he’s had two lines and, like, three seconds of screen time. So I don’t see what payoff there is, on a storytelling level, to making him the traitor—or at least the only one. Also, they’ve already given Malachi away in both the promo for the next episode and the promo stills they released. So I suspect this is a diversion to keep us from suspecting another traitor, one who will be more of a surprise.

My money is still on Robert.

I really love Luke sort of calling Magnus out here and Magnus replying. I wish Luke hadn’t backed down.

I especially love the look Raphael shot Luke when Luke invoked Alec’s name. Like, “Wow, really? You’re going there?”

I feel for Magnus, and yet I’m really glad to see the Downworlders prioritizing the Downworld over the Shadowhunters right now. Despite their misgivings and personal stakes in all this, even Luke and Raphael have their priorities in the right place here.

Can someone please give me one single rational reason why Clary and Jace are in this meeting?

Izzy I can see. She’s sort of functioned as Alec’s co-host/goodwill ambassador for previous Downworld cabinet meetings. But Jace and Clary serve absolutely no function in this meeting, and Clary specifically has been in the shadow world less than two months so what the hell is she doing attending high-level political meetings, sassing off to foreign dignitaries for no other reason than she’s still sulky over what happened the last time she saw the Seelie Queen?

A lot of people see Magnus’s expressions in this scene as being derision aimed at Alec, but I don’t agree. I think they’re irritation over the fact that he can’t respond when he wants to, as he’s clearly been ordered not to speak. “Such is the nature of our agreement.” He has to let the Seelie Queen do all the talking. Raphael and Luke are clearly under the same condition.

His behavior in this scene isn’t him being salty at Alec. It’s him being uncomfortable and frustrated with the position he’s been forced into. It’s meant to show us that he’s not sanguine about this new state of affairs in the slightest.

ETA: I take this back. Given the sneak peek of s2ep20, clearly he really is still salty at Alec. Which is sort of giving me whiplash because he wasn’t angry any longer at the end of s2ep18, just sad. So why is he back to that angry place now? I don’t get it.

Don’t get me started on the fact that, after watching Alec go through this, Clary and Jace look at each other, rather than Alec who must be suffering under what is happening.

Don’t get me started on the fact that we haven’t seen Jace express a single word of concern about anything having to do with Alec since season 2B began. Apparently their renewed connection from season 2A is gone and we’re back to Jace being about himself and his drama all the time and taking Alec for granted.

I really did like this moment between Clary and Luke. Because it demonstrated two things. 1) that they still love each other and 2) that Luke is no longer letting his love for Clary drive him to neglect his pack. And Clary…actually understands that. Respects it. Who is this new Clary who recognizes the bigger picture (at least some of the time?)

What’s interesting, though, is that despite the Seelie Queen giving the Shadowhunters a definitive “no” on their request to help hunt for Valentine, Luke and Raphael leave the meeting clearly intending to do exactly that. And the Seelie Queen orders the warlocks to put up wards around the City. So…what exactly did her refusal in the council meeting accomplish?

“We’re going to do exactly what you’re asking us to do, but we’re not going to help you do it or work with you in doing it.” I’m not sure I understand what the point of that is, except to establish a new power dynamic and antagonize the Clave.

Can we take a moment to admire the staging of this shot with Izzy and Raphael? Her standing in the sunlight, him carefully in the shadows. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again; I’m firmly pro-Rizzy, as long as the toxic mutual-addiction thing isn’t an element. I like this ship. I know it’s not endgame, but as long as they’re both dealt with respectfully at the end of it, I can get behind it.

But if this shot isn’t a metaphor for the issues they face if they go there, I don’t know what is.

Simon and Maia are so adorable. I just wish I knew how the producers plan on wrapping up their romance plotline without (just like Izzy and Raphael) treating one of them disrespectfully. Because I just don’t want to see that.

Maia eating off the plate going out to the customers just kills me. If only Ollie knew… But again, who are these people who operate and work at the Jade Wolf, that apparently all these werewolves going in and out of their kitchen getting into shit isn’t a big deal?

“I know that asking you for a favor right now might be a little awkward…” OMG what is this? Is Clary actually demonstrating…self-awareness? Really?

*sniffle* I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.

I adore Simon so much. There is just not a petty bone in his body, even when no one would blame him if there were.

What I would like to know is if Clary ran this plan to send Simon as an emissary to the Seelie Queen past Alec and got his okay with it. Because, like, maybe she should stay OUT of issues of shadow world diplomacy until someone tags her in on it?

I can’t. I just can’t. This hurts too damn much. I need it to be Monday already and I need my boys to be all right. Sweartagod if they leave us this way over the hiatus I will…well, I don’t know what I’ll do, but I know that my enthusiasm for this episode was severely dampened by the Malec break-up and if they remain broken up over the hiatus, I will probably have a very hard time mustering enough enthusiasm to tune in for Season 3.

Look, I’m old. I’ve been battered and bruised and I’ve learned through many painful experiences that if the pain of rooting for your favorite characters and ships starts outweighing the enjoyment, it’s time to bail.

Madzie! Catarina! I love them both and I’m definitely looking forward to seeing them more in Season 3. I was really hoping that Catarina would try to talk Magnus out of gambling on the Seelie Queen, but nope, she’s just that ride or die. No questions asked, she’s in.

“Thank you for coming.” Magnus thanks her! He doesn’t take for granted that she’ll just jump to. *heart eyes*

It’s interesting to me how Magnus tends to pull his face more, make more over-the-top facial expressions, when he’s not with Alec. This is much more the Magnus was saw in Season 1. Even here with Catarina, right now when everything is so raw, his walls are up and that’s one of the signs of it.

I’m trying to decide whether or not I’m in favor of them making Sebastian so fixated on Valentine’s approval. It’s a bit woobie-fying, isn’t it? Like, are they saying that Sebastian could have been saved, if not for Valentine’s poisonous influence? Jocelyn didn’t seem to think so; she believed he was evil from birth. Are they trying to set up a redemption arc for him? Or merely foreshadowing what turns out to be his fatal weakness (letting Jace goad him about being the “favorite son” ultimately leads to his downfall.)

Apropos of nothing, is it just me or does it look like that Circle member on the right might be pregnant? No real point to that, just sort of thinking of what it must be like to be a pregnant Shadowhunter, particularly in time of war. We know Maryse was in the Circle when she was pregnant with Alec (she’s lucky Valentine didn’t try any experiments on her) and was conducting raids with the Circle still when Alec was just a baby.

And Valentine wouldn’t scruple to use pregnant women as canon fodder, either, would he?

They’ve done better with the Seelie ears this season than they did first season. I can still see a seam where the prosthetic is glued on, but it’s not nearly as messy as Meliorn’s were in season 1.

I do love that Simon gives so few fucks that he just sasses back to the Seelie Queen. Which I know is maybe a little hypocritical of me, since I was irritated that Clary was doing that earlier, but the difference is, Clary was in a diplomatic meeting and shouldn’t have been taking pot shots.

This was a gorgeously filmed scene. I admit it, for someone who has been spectacularly unmoved by Clace overall, I was feeling it a bit here. Part of it may just be how beautifully it was shot, part of it may be because Clary hasn’t been irritating me nearly as much the past couple episodes, but I think what really got me was the embrace. Not a kiss, not passion, just…intimacy. Closeness. The protective way Jace was holding her and sense of safety and contentment Clary radiated in his arms. A respite in the middle of chaos. A moment when the world melts away. The need to wrap yourself around someone and just be pressed against them and just be in that moment.

That’s a very visceral thing and actually speaks to me a lot more than a kiss would have done.

I almost asked who made the portal but then I remembered Clary’s rune.

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen Valentine make canon fodder out of innocents, but at least when he made Forsaken in season 1 he took volunteers (admittedly they were people who were sick and dying and didn’t have much choice.)

I and many others have already remarked on the way Jace assumes Alec would want to probe about his drama with Clary when he apparently hasn’t taken even a second to notice what Alec is going through. I don’t like these sorts of inconsistencies. Either they have this bond, and it goes both ways, or they don’t. Alec seems to be very consistently attentive to whatever Jace is going through, but Jace is hit-and-miss with Alec, and I really don’t want the writing to take them back to a place where Jace is taking Alec for granted the way they did in season 1.

I don’t have much to say about the ensuing fight sequences. Lots of Fighty McFight and Princess Stabbity stuff. They were amazing, ALL the characters got to have badass moments. And one lesson Valentine apparently taught Jace that he’s been playing close to the vest is the ability to talk his way inside someone’s head and manipulate them into playing by his rules.

I loved that Izzy got to confront Sebastian, though I do wish they’d kept the touch from the books where she amputated his hand with her whip. That would have been awesome, and sort of a parallel to Jace doing the same thing to Hodge after Hodge betrayed them at the end of Season 1 (though, maybe that’s why they didn’t go there again.)

I will say, though, apparently Jace actually missed the spot where he could sever Sebastian’s spine, because otherwise Sebastian wouldn’t be able to stand upright here and grab him by the neck for their final tussle. His legs should have buckled the instant that sword went through him, if his spine was severed.

And, again, see the beginning of this write-up for why the disdain with which Izzy delivers the words “Hail and farewell” here is so amazing.

I can’t even imagine what the Seelie Queen thinks she’s going to accomplish by kidnapping Maia. Clearly it has something to do with wanting Simon to capitulate, but how exactly?

And what could Valentine possibly be offering her here at the end?

[the-redhead-who-writes]

Musically Inclined

“James asks Sam to run into town and pick up some music for him, and this ‘dumb errand’ turns into a trip he won’t soon forget.” Music Store AU that is fluffiness to the max. This fic was inspired by the single 'Chained the Monster’, which is the opening theme for Seduce Me the Otome! I highly recommend you take a listen to it if you haven’t already; it’s an awesome song!

I hope you all enjoy!

Dedicated to @the-sassy-sister as a late birthday present! Thank you so much for all of your help with editing and for just being there for me.

Rated T for language, ‘cause Sam.

Link: FF.net               Link: AO3

Sam didn’t get the Human World.

Sure, there were some sweets perks to living in it: he had way more freedom than when he was living in the Abyssal Plains, for one. Yeah, he’d pretty much slacked off that whole time, but at least here, he could slack off and not have his douchebag Dad breathing down his neck.

Video games were pretty cool, too. Matthew had dug up some old human gaming console from the mansion’s basement the first week after they’d arrived, and since then, handing his ass to him never got old.

But the rest was kind of a shitshow.

Sam didn’t know much about Human World history either. Unlike James, who for some reason actually liked studying every aspect of human life. Their traditions and cultures were fascinating to him, and he seemed to start on a new research topic every other week. This time it was music. More specifically, a bunch of long-dead musicians.

“Sam, I’d appreciate if you could simply do me this favour,” James yelled tiredly through the open window. Sam didn’t have to see him to know he was pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation.

“Why the hell do I gotta go out and get your stupid music? Whaddaya even want it for anyway?” Sam groused, not bothering to open his eyes. Cushioning his arm beneath his head, he shifted onto his side, enjoying how the afternoon sun warmed the roof.

He heard James sigh.

“I’ve already told you. If we are to stay in this world, we must learn all that we can about the people who occupy it. The research I’m compiling highlights the men and women that greatly affected humanity; explorers, theorists, musicians and scientists alike. Beethoven, Bach and Mozart for example - seen as geniuses for the prominent pieces of music they’d composed in their lifetimes, and whom are still considered to be the most brilliant minds of the age in modern-”

“Ok, ok, I got it. Geez… But why me? Isn’t this Damien’s kinda thing? He loves all that stuff about humans: just get him to do it.”

“Damien and Matthew are out shopping for this week’s groceries, and before you ask, Erik is gone as well. He’s picking up some books that I need from the library.”

“So why don’t you go and get the CD’s then?” Sam retorted, adding under his breath, “You’re the one who actually wants to waste his time listening to ‘em.”

“I heard that,” James snapped, “And for your information, I’m still in the process of finalizing our Citizenship documents. Fake as they may be, blending in with the humans and their routines is crucial to the start of our new lives. Unless you’d rather spend the duration of our time here confined to the mansion.”

How the hell did his stupid research have anything to do with that last part?

Sam didn’t respond, rolling over onto his back.

Their freedom depended on some old dead guys who could write music? That logic made zero sense. But even the idea of not being able to leave the mansion for the rest of his life really sucked.

Before he had a chance to finish his internal debate though, James took his lapse of silence as a ‘yes’.

“Be sure to take some money with you, as well as one of the disposable cell phones I bought, just in case. And you can take the bus into town to get to the record shop.”

“Oh, one last thing,” James called over his shoulder, voice growing fainter as he walked away. “I’ll leave you a note with directions and a list of several composers and song titles on the dining table. It should make finding the materials simpler.”

And with that, he left, his footsteps echoing softly off the marble floors.

Once he was sure James was gone, Sam opened his eyes, squinting up at the sky. Freakin’ perfect. Reluctantly, he braced himself up on his left hand, rubbing his other palm into his eye.

All this for some stupid music…

While on his brothers’ dumb errand, Sam discovered something else he didn’t understand about humans.

Why the hell they ever took the bus.

Hot and cramped, with fifty other people crowding around him, it reeked like sweat and the ‘gasoline’ James had told him powered the thing. It was loud as shit too. People talking, some kid was crying, and there was a guy playing a game on his phone and screaming at it.

If the humans thought it was bad, it was a thousand times worse for Sam. With his enhanced senses, the smell and noise were practically choking him, and getting jostled every two minutes by the old lady knitting in the seat beside him wasn’t helping.

Agitated, he tried to adjust his hold on the safety pole but felt the steel crumple in his grasp. He quickly loosened his grip, only to find a perfect imprint of his hand dented into the metal. Sam groaned and resigned himself to leaning against the damn thing instead. That was precisely the moment that the old lady finished her row, and jabbed him squarely in the ribs again. Startled, he fell to the dirty bus floor, landing on his ass with a thud. The guy on his phone snickered, and Sam’s blood boiled.

Fucking awesome.

When the bus finally stopped, he vaulted over the seats, dashed out the sliding doors with inhuman speed, and skidded to a stop on the sidewalk. Bent over with his hands on his knees, he gasped for air, taking several deep breaths.

He was walking back to the mansion, no fucking question.

Once the horrible smell was out of his nose and the ringing had faded from his ears, Sam straightened. Breathing hard and pissed beyond belief, he pulled the paper James had left him out of his vest pocket. The faster he got this done, the better, and according to the crudely drawn map sketched on the note, the record store was a just a little further down the road - the fifth on the left.

He heard it before he saw it. Muffled laughter and music floated down the street, coming from a run-down looking shop.

It was definitely old, crammed between an arcade and a bookstore. The bricks were chipped and worn. Cobwebs blew gently in the corners of windows that were littered with faded posters, and a stained welcome mat sat in front of a tarnished brass door. In short, it looked like shit, but Sam couldn’t have cared less; it wasn’t like he planned on taking his time.

Pushing the door open, a bell chimed above Sam’s head and scattered voices mixed with the music playing in the background.

It was bigger than it looked outside, but just as messy. Boxes were stacked everywhere, while different instruments hung on the walls. A busted light cast shadows over the back of the store while the sections of CD’s were brightly lit. Rows of shelves held hundreds of discs for people to browse, but thankfully it was nowhere near as cramped as the bus.

Now that he was here, all he had to do was find James’s shit. Then he could get back to the mansion. Sam wandered to the nearest shelf and unfolded the list again. Ruffling his hair, he started scanning the names, already bored. After the first couple lines, though, he furrowed his brow and brought the paper closer to his face.

Looking over the titles a little more closely, his eyes widened. 

Shit…

He couldn’t recognize one damn word on the page.

It was no big secret that Sam couldn’t read, not extensively anyway. He knew the basics, kinda, but James and Erik were the ones who’d been taught properly, being the prospective heirs and all. Matthew had picked up some reading and writing from his mom, and Damien… Well, he had actually tried to learn once they’d ended up in the Human World, combing through the mansion’s library for practice. Sam had meant to join him once or twice, he just… hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

He could read some smaller words, and he’d been kind of betting on that to get him through the stupid trip. But the names and titles James had written were long and complicated, completely foreign to him. If he couldn’t pick out any familiar words, how the hell was he supposed to find the right CD’s?

Gripping the paper tighter, Sam tried to focus on the letters of James’s handwriting, but they melted and blurred together.

Fuck. Now what was he gonna do?

Growling under his breath, he picked a random case off the shelf and scrutinized it, trying to match the title cover to something on his list. …No, this one didn’t start with the right letter. He dropped it back in its slot and picked up another. The font was curly and intricate, which made reading it even harder. …Was that one long word or two really short ones…?

“Hi there! Can I help you with anything?”

Sam stiffened at the sudden, perky voice behind him, his fingers gripping the case in his hands hard enough to audibly crack the plastic. He was not in the mood for this shit right now…

With a grim set of his jaw and a biting “No, I’m fine, leave me alone” on his lips, he whirled around, but the words promptly died in his throat.

A girl was standing with her thumbs hooked casually in the front pockets of her jeans. Long, dark hair hung loosely around her shoulders, shining even in the dim light. Contrasting sharply against her fair skin, it brought out her wide, emerald green eyes; eyes that were watching him closely.

She tilted her head to the side, concern dimming her cheerful smile as she stared up at him. “Hey, are you alright?” she asked, noticing how white his knuckles had gone around the CD case.

“What?” Sam replied thickly, his thoughts buzzing as he tried not to swallow his own tongue.

Her expression softened, the corners of her eyes crinkling. “Can I help you?” she repeated patiently. “Are you looking for something?”

His brain froze; he couldn’t help it. Her voice was so soft that if he’d been another foot away, he might’ve missed it. And yet, it held such tenderness, something Sam had no experience with at all. He was utterly stunned; the deadly combination of both shock and awe rendering him baffled.

Blinked owlishly, he nodded, handing her the crushed note robotically. When her fingers brushed his, more warmth seeped through his already flustered body.

“It’s nice you have a list. A lot of the time, people just come in here with a general idea of what they’re looking for, and they end up wandering around for hours.” 

She laughed nostalgically at her own memory, before smoothing the paper over her leg and reading through it. “Alright, let’s see… Oh! ‘Bach, Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart..’. You’re interested in Classical music?” she presumed.

“Uh, well, yeah. I guess?” Sam muttered, cursing himself for stammering like an idiot. She was just some girl - a human girl - and yet he could barely string together a proper sentence. 

What the hell was wrong with him?

“Cool! It’s been too long since someone showed an interest in something other than the usual Top 40’s.” Nodding thoughtfully, she refolded his list and peered down at the CD he was still clutching. “But you know, I think you’re gonna have a little trouble finding what you’re looking for here…" she said matter-of-factly, and Sam’s breath hitched.

Shit. She’d made him. What the hell did he do now? Explain why he couldn’t read the labels? 

He blanked, her sudden appearance and the panic now flooding his veins leaving him incapable of responding, let alone defending himself.

But instead of scrutiny, her eyes sparkled with mischief, and she chewed her bottom lip. “…Because the Country section is a really bad place to start.”

The blood drained from Sam’s face, and she snorted, bursting into a fit of laughter. Light and happy, it rang clear as a bell, and even as he sagged against the shelf in relief, warmth flooded his chest. Who had a laugh like that? Dumbfounded, he listened as she continued to giggle softly, nose scrunched.

Then indignation had him scowling half-heartedly. She was laughing at him. That girl nearly gave him a heart attack, and she thought it was funny? What the hell?!

Still trying to smother her laughter with her hand, she looked back up at him with the sweetest smile Sam had ever seen. His scowl faltered.

Well, she was… actually… kinda cute. She had to work here, right? Why else would she ask him if he needed help? Maybe he could get her name… No way, she’d probably freak out or something. Worse, she might figure out what he was, and then James would kick his-

Wait. Country?

Realizing his mistake, Sam’s face burned, and he quickly returned the disc. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he awkwardly cleared his throat, “So, um, w-where can I find those uh-”

“I can show you!” she offered, maybe a little too quickly, and her face flushed a warm pink. Sam gawked at her eager response and, embarrassed, she looked down at her shoes. “S-sorry. It’s just… been awhile since someone came in looking for Classical music, that’s all…”

The pink tint to her cheeks proved to be incredibly distracting, and since he still wasn’t all there, Sam just continued to stare like a dumbass.

It got uncomfortably quiet for a second; Sam standing like a statue while the girl shifted her weight from foot to foot. His brain was screaming at him to say something - anything - but she beat him to it.

“You know what, you-you brought a list, so you obviously know what you need.” She smiled sheepishly, and Sam’s heart lurched into his throat. “I should probably just leave you to-”

“No!” he cut her off sharply. Taken aback, she stared up at him with wide eyes, and he shook his head vigorously. Without her, he had no goddamn hope of finding the stuff for James. And for some stupid reason… he didn’t want to see her go. “Uh, no,” he said again, a little more put together. “You can help… If you want.”

His mumbled words were almost indistinguishable, but she caught them anyway, and another beautiful smile lit up her face, effectively taking his breath away for the third time.

“Ok then! Just follow me.” 

Beaming, she turned on her heel, and Sam couldn’t help but admire her figure as she walked away. Slim, but curvy, she held herself with the same grace he remembered from the higher ups in the Abyssal Plains. But that was where the similarities ended. There was something else - it wasn’t the same ‘holier-than-thou’, 'walks-with-a-stick-up-their-ass’ kind of attitude. The way she folded her hands, the light behind her smile. She was just… warm.

“Are you coming?” Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he quickly jogged to catch up to her. Together, they breezed past row after row of music, and at every turn, she was recognized by someone; asking how she was, or if school was going well.

“You’re pretty popular,” Sam commented as they wormed their way through the store.

She scoffed, which still somehow managed to sound endearing.

“Thanks, but I’m really not. I’ve only been working here part-time for about 6 months, just until I finish up my last year of high school. Most of our customers are regulars anyway; not many people actually go out to buy their music anymore, ya know?”

No, he didn’t. But Sam chose not to mention that in fear of looking even more stupid than he already felt.

Finally reaching an aisle around the far end of the shop, she spread the list out beside her and set to work, skimming her fingers lightly across the tops of the albums. Stacking CD after CD, she worked diligently with a determined smile, expressing how genuinely happy she was with the task of helping him.

Sam watched the pile steadily grow until there were about two dozen cases, at least.

Geez, how much music did James need?

Every so often, she’d lean over and check the paper before setting back to work, but the motion kept untucking a lock of hair from behind her ear. And seeing her run her small fingers through it, attempting to pin it back into place over and over again, was driving Sam crazy. So were the soft sounds she made, the little hmm’s and oh’s when she got frustrated, or the uh-huh’s and ah-ha’s when she found the correct album.

After a few minutes she finally finished, and Sam could breathe properly again. Adding one last case to the pile with a loud clack!, she turned back to rest against the shelf.

“Phew! That should be all of them! Quite the collection you’re starting; I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone buy so many CD’s at once.” Her bubbly enthusiasm was infectious, and slowly, Sam found himself relaxing.

“Thanks,” he said, scratching at his jaw absently.

“No problem. By the way, my name is Mika. Probably should’ve said that awhile ago but…” Trailing off, and once again brushing back that piece of hair, she looked at him expectantly.

“Sam,” he introduced stiffly, “I’m Sam.”

She must’ve smiled at him more than a half a dozen times now, but it didn’t stop her from sending another his way, just as dazzling as the others. “It’s nice to meet you, Sam.”

Fifteen minutes later, his CD’s were packed into shopping bags - three to be precise - and Sam was ready to head back to the mansion. Mika had offered to check him out, and she’d been incredibly patient as he floundered with the currency James had left him. Seeing his distress, she’d taken his money and counted out exactly how much he owed, despite the growing line behind them.

“Thanks… again,” he muttered lamely, collecting his change off the counter.

“It’s ok. You did have quite the bill,” she laughed brightly, scribbling something down on the last CD before dropping it into one of the bags. “I hope your friend enjoys the music, by the way.”

“Whaddaya mean?” Sam questioned, and she arched a brow.

“The music. It’s not for you, is it?” She drummed her fingers against the wood tabletop.

“I mean I don’t want to assume but…” He swallowed as she appraised his appearance with gentle curiosity - his vest, ripped shirt, and silver dog tags - before meeting his gaze with keen eyes, “You don’t look like you’re into Classical.”

Sam felt heat crawl up his neck and into his face. He dragged a hand through his hair in what he hoped seemed like a controlled action, awkwardly trying to regain a grasp on the situation.

It would be easier if she’d just stop looking at him like that.

She waved off his stuttered attempt at an explanation with a shake of her head. “It’s fine. I hope you’ll come back again soon, though. Maybe then I’ll get a chance to find out what kind of music you like to listen to.” The invitation to return had his heart sputtering wildly in his chest.

“Hey, lovebirds! Can we hurry it up please?” an aggravated voice shouted behind him in line, and Sam choked.

He whipped his head around. “We’re not-!” he began hoarsely - mainly because all the air in his lungs seemed to have disappeared - but Mika cut him off.

“Tony, be nice. We’re not going to have a repeat of last month’s karaoke night, are we?”

Laughter erupted in the line, and the man -Tony? - grumbled angrily.

Mika leaned on her forearms against the countertop, shielding the side of her mouth with her hand. “Had to be ‘removed from the premises’ when he flipped over a patio table,” she whispered under her breath, amusement dancing in her green eyes, and Sam smirked. Mika bit her lip to keep from giggling, hoping to maintain some form of professionalism as he picked up his bags and headed for the door.

“Thanks for stopping by!” Mika called from behind the counter with a little wave, and Sam’s heart gave one last loud thump at her brilliant smile. He nodded with a hesitant grin, and suddenly he was out on the sidewalk.

Sam blinked, turning to look back in through the large window, and saw Mika was already helping the next customer. It was the man who’d interrupted them, and by the way he was hanging his head and her stern finger wagging, she was letting him have it.

Chuckling, he walked back to the bus stop and was right on time to catch the next one out. He was lucky enough to score a seat this time around too, and gratefully dropped the bags of CD’s on the floor underneath him.

Sam quickly craned his neck to get one last look at the store. Mika was partially blocked by the angle, but he could tell she was talking animatedly to someone, and smiling just as warmly as she had before. Then she was gone, enveloped in a cloud of black fumes as the bus pulled away.

Sam shifted in his chair, trying to get comfortable, but while the smell wasn’t as bad this time around, the noise was still insufferable. With a groan, he gave up. Desperate to distract himself, Sam noted the bags on the floor and shrugged, leaning down and yanking one open.

Shuffling through the contents, he examined the cover art and odd titles until he finally came across a case at the bottom of the bag that made him pause. The artwork appeared to be graphics of chain link over a black background with bold, white text. That wasn’t what caught his eye, though.

Sam’s brows rose as he read one of the only English words he knew: his human name. Written on a piece of tape stuck to the front, it pointed with a little arrow, indicating he should open the case. He did so, and found a small, handwritten note scrawled on a fold of paper that had his ears burning:

Sam: “You seem like a rock kind of guy. Here’s an album by Rise of the Phoenix. I think you’ll like them! Let me know, ok? ♪ (XXX) XXX-XXXX ♫” - Mika

He couldn’t quite make out all of the text, but he sure as hell could recognize a phone number. Grinning to himself like an idiot, Sam let the bag of CD’s drop back to the ground below his seat but held tight to the one Mika had left especially for him.

He’d meet up with Damien in the library to start practicing first thing tomorrow. After he listened to a certain album.

[mittensmorgul]

Continuing on my s10 ranting from yesterday... >.>

Cobbled together immediately after watching 10.15, while watching 10.16 and wondering why all Bucklemming episodes can’t be this good/interesting/relevant/well written... but I digress. Back to 10.15.

After the first half of s10 focused on vengeful spirits, shapeshifters, vampires, selling one’s soul, and the inherent darkness INSIDE PEOPLE, 10.15 was THE FIRST MotW to even suggest something like “monster possession,” that the thing inside the person WAS A FOREIGN INVADING EVIL THING and not someone’s own inherent nature.

This was the moment s10 seems to have jumped the tracks entirely for me, because the narrative shifted entirely. Up to this point they’d been telling an entirely different story.

More quoting of my chattybubble ranting at Lizbob:

but... this is where they shifted all the monsters from being vengeful spirits and split personalities to being FOREIGN INVADERS TAKING OVER PEOPLE This is the first real shift in the narrative that began to make us think the Mark was somehow controlling Dean up to then, they were telling us an entirely different story then in 10.16 the rage ghost was possessing people. outside force

Dean and Sam continued on have two different experiences with the case in both 10.15 and 10.16. Heck, can you imagine I’d rather use the Bucklemming episode as an example here? Crazy days, man. Crazy days.

Sister Matthias in 10.16 believes all along that she’s talking to a fellow nun-- a real person-- who turns out to BE the ancient (comparatively, 1520 is a long time ago) vengeful spirit possessing people who cheated on their wives/girlfriends, but to Sister Matthias she’s almost a friend and confidante; i.e. her own person, and not some evil force taking people over and forcing them to act against their will.

Then after we watched Dean’s fake confession, followed by his extremely heartfelt TRUE confession, he walks out and Sam smirks at him and says, “jerks like you are just what our ghost is looking for." Leaving all of us to seriously side-eye Sam’s perception of what’s really going on with Dean. Sam’s only getting the surface level here. He’s entirely missed out on ALL the times Dean’s “bared his soul,” first to Sister Matthias and then in the confessional. All Sam’s getting is Dean’s performance mask-- joking about Sister Matthias having the hots for him, while WE saw them have a VERY DIFFERENT AND DEEPLY PERSONAL CONVERSATION.

Much like Dean’s conversation with Tina in the bar back in 10.12 showed us something very different than we would expect. NOT a Dean who was just hitting on an attractive woman, but one who truly, honestly connected to another person emotionally.

But I digress... Back to the end of s10 and the ridiculous canon acrobatics required to redirect ALL THIS GLORIOUS CHARACTER GROWTH (not just for Dean but for Cas as well... I mean, most of s10 basically stranded him, as Lizbob said in her review of 9.22, Cas’s emotional and personal development just got put on the back burner... 

I'm also looking through the rest of s10, because they were REALLY inconsistent about how they wrote the monsters.

mittensmorgul 10.17 Dabb just avoided talking about monsters entirely and instead gave Dean and Crowley a touching heart-to-heart...

I mean, 10.17 also introduces Rudy the Random Hunter Dude who Dean mercilessly slaughters in 10.23. And in hindsight I think this was originally intended to be COLE he killed, but whoopsie that got dropped like a hot potato and had to be reshuffled too...

So Dean’s chat with Rudy here while he’s laying out a series of booby trap pranks in Sam’s room is all we have establishing that they are on friendly terms as hunters. Kinda steals the oomph out of Dean going Darkside in 10.23 that there wasn’t more throughout s10 consistently establishing that-- but I get the real-world reasons why that got switched up. It only added to the narrative dissonance that the Mark had been about Dean all along, since Cole had been a mirror for Dean since 10.01. It doubles down on the whole bait-and-switch feel to the entire season’s narrative. This was SUPPOSED to be about Dean, but whoopsie, last minute we swapped Dean’s internal journey of self-discovery with the narrative equivalent of Fuckhands McMike.

*sighs and cries about how the show actually pulled a Fuckhands McMike on us all*

18 introduced the stynes... people who'd grafted on extra bits to make themselves invincible... like bonus hearts and organs and ewwwww making them into something they're not. They were the biggest metaphor for the darkness being something that was "grafted onto Dean"

elizabethrobertajones yeah hindsight is wonderful :P

And then 10.19 combined the “part of Dean” and “something outside of Dean” narratives really well... with the Werther spell bringing him VERY CLOSE TO DEATH, confronting his personal issues, but the Mark pulling him back from that at the last minute because it WASN’T part of him. In a way similar to how letting go of the Mark briefly in 10.12 sort of gave Dean a “soft reset” on how badly he seemed to be affected by it, the Werther box forcing him to confront it all does something similar.

At least... for a few episodes until Dean finds out his entire family’s  been plotting behind his back... *sticks knife in back* *twists*

Okay, back to 10.15 (since I’m already 3/4 of the way through watching 10.17... I should probably wrap this up, or at least pretend I’m actually getting back to the point of this ramble)

mittensmorgul But, they COULD'VE saved Kit if Sam had brought him to the "sweat lodge" sooner. Instead, he just tied kit up and did NOTHING really... maybe kit was too far gone? whatever. It was weird.

elizabethrobertajones yeah I think it was meant to be about Sam dawdling over the cure for Dean that he couldn't save Kit so he has to take action more decisi vely next time

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones while Dean gets a totally different story for his eyes that the monster CAN be expelled and there's a reason to hope

mittensmorgul which is true

elizabethrobertajones they come out of that episode with completely different messages though not what  happens for Dean :P

mittensmorgul like the audience was getting >.>

elizabethrobertajones I guess the opposite end result for both Sam manages to save Dean Dean is ready to die at the end >.>

(I paused the show so I could focus on typing this, and there’s just this image of a chocolate chip cookie suspended in mid air on my screen, and now I just want a cookie. Here. Have a floating cookie:

and yeesh, I really need to dust the tv screen. This is what I get from sitting 10′ away and not wearing my glasses. I can’t see the dust until I zoom way in to take a picture of it from across the room >.>)

Anyhoodle, this is really where we seethe Evolest Villain, aka miscommunication, rear its ugly head. Sam is only seeing part of the story. Dean is only seeing part of the story. Cas... well, all we’re getting from him right now is colors.

And then in s11 ALL OF THIS IS WASHED AWAY in an explosion of primordial Darkness.

Granted that does finally free up Sam and Dean to begin talking about stuff again, but that doesn’t really happen until the middle of the season when Dean confesses how he was being manipulated by Amara. I think that’s FINALLY the point where Sam really begins to understand that NONE of this MoC!Dean stuff was actually ABOUT DEAN. And that’s when Sam can really identify with what Dean went through... that it was an insidious form of possession.

And it’s the beginning of pushing Sam into seeing behind Dean’s mask, because now he at least has an idea of just how extensive that mask can really be. 

But hey, at least they’re talking...