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broken-clover · 1 year

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So I hadn’t intended to take a break from writing, but apparently my job decided I’m doing a stupid amount of hours. So today’s is not only late but a little shorter. ‘Panic’ is an open-ended prompt, but I associated it with fears and went in that kind of a direction. This one’s also technically Sinbed but you could also read it as just a good friendship if you’re not especially into that.

Putting in a veeeery heavy warning for suicide discussion, again, it’s nothing graphic, but it is talked about openly, and I don’t want that to take anybody by surprise

The ability to read another’s mind is truly the cruelest gift one could be given.

Do you know what your mother is afraid of, Sin? More than anything in the world? Oh, of course, she has plenty of fears, plural, but do you know what tops them all? Being killed for what she is? Losing everything? Losing you?

She is afraid of watching your father die.

Even moreso, she’s terrified of watching him wither away. She’s happy he isn’t human anymore, and she feels guilty about it. But it’s a relief to her, in an odd way. The Gear cells will keep him young, keep him healthy, keep his mind intact. She doesn’t have to watch him succumb to dementia. She won’t have to look at him one day and have him wonder if she’s a niece or cousin whose name has slipped his mind, or a demon he should have killed if his elderly hand didn’t tremble from the weight of a sword. Every so often, the nightmare putters off to a corner of her mind, but something always makes it come back. I always know when it comes back.

I can hear them all. If I put all my strength into blocking them out, it’s enough, but it’s a constant, exhausting effort. Their thoughts bleed into mine. I’ve gotten better at pruning them apart. At first, I had a tendency to blur my world and theirs, until I realized I don’t have a boss that may secretly be planning on killing me, or a distant wife whom I fear will leave me for the handsome electrician who fixes my porch lamps. But their feelings are all the same. They whimper. They scream. It doesn’t matter how rational or irrational they may be, everyone has a little secret terror in the back of their mind that they just can’t ever seem to shoo away forever.

Some of them, I’ll admit, are somewhat ridiculous. Those Secret Service-types that have been coming by are riddled with them. Is it an American thing? A cultural divide? How shallow. The big one with the coffin is afraid of aliens. He thinks they’ll have laser weapons and use humans for gardening soil. The woman with the dog is afraid of having her vacation hours cut.

I don’t like your grandfather. If I tried to pity him, I know it would only make him despise me more. He cares about you, you know, in his own bizarre way. He’s afraid I’m going to do something bad to you, but doesn’t know how to make me go away without it upsetting you. He wants what’s best for you, but he knows that he has no idea what that is, or how to do it. That tends to be when he leaves. He can’t stand to look at you, can’t stand to acknowledge that he’s failing you, so he thinks everything will be better if he takes himself out of the equation altogether.

Ah. My mistake, I took a tangent. Your grandfather, your ‘Old Man.’ Flame of Corruption, God of War, Sol Badguy. What an ironic thing, that a nigh-invulnerable being is so terrified of living. He’s had nearly two centuries to think of ways to try and kill himself. You and your father and your mother frighten him, not because he doesn’t want the responsibility, but because he can’t convince himself that living is a choice. He makes excuses in weeks and months and on-a-dime promises- after this bounty, after he visits your mother one last time, when this beer is finished, maybe after one more drink, isn’t it going to be spring soon? He was always a fan of rhubarb, maybe it would be worth it to wait and see how it tastes this year.

Your father is afraid for you. It’s tacky, but it’s true. He has nightmares about things happening to you, actual nightmares. I told myself I wasn’t going to get involved with peoples’ dreams anymore, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. Nobody can convince him you’re ever completely safe. Someone wants his baby dead, but he doesn’t know who it is. That’s why he always sleeps better when you stay at the castle.

The second king, at least, is honest. There are many things I despise about that tacky, self-important blowhard, but he doesn’t pretend he isn’t exactly that. And he doesn’t pretend that the lives of others aren’t painfully, painfully important to him. You know he’s broken, don’t you? Anyone could see it. They just don’t want to look. Illyria wants a king. They don’t want a battered veteran who cries himself to sleep in his own grief. He still sends letters to the widows. The guilt never lessens.

The third. I hate him even more. And yet, I pity him. The walls he has put up work too well. How many know what the war took from him? Of course, everyone lost something in the crusades. But he has nothing. Any relatives that weren’t stabbed or maimed or slaughtered or eaten alive didn’t last long. They threw themselves off cliffs, or drank until their insides rotted, or flew headfirst into fights they couldn’t win and didn’t want to. The stony face protects him. Suicide runs in the family. He’s desperate to not take after his father.

Elphelt doesn’t want to be alone. She doesn’t want to disappear and have nobody notice.

Ramlethal wants things to make sense, to have a reason for it all, or else she’s going to drown in an endless series of choices that don’t even matter.

The pirate is just waiting for something to go wrong, because he has nine little girls, and he knows there’s one day he won’t be able to keep his eyes on all of them until it’s too late. The blood mage is waiting for the pirate to leave, because they’re convinced one day he’ll wake up and realize he could do better. The little girl in the orange hat doesn’t want anyone to know that she likes girls as much as she likes boys.

Sometimes I don’t like it when you hug me. You squeeze too hard, and it digs into my ribs. How often do I have to remind you how strong you are? But…other times, I let you do it anyway. I know you need the security. You need to feel like you aren’t a monster. And monsters don’t have friends, do they? They don’t have families or friends or loved ones. It’s a silly line of logic, I know you think that, but it’s enough for the time being. I can always hear the way your stormy thoughts quiet down and just focus on where we are. Just you and I, cozy and safe. A momentary peace of mind.

Sore ribs. It’s a cheap price to pay for that. I just wish it lasted longer.

#Suicide #Frog Writes #guilty gear #febuwhump #sinbed

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walkingwithwildflowers · 2 years

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random scene

CHARACTER A

(unplugs things from lighting board) What do you want?

CHARACTER B

I just…wanted to say I’m sorry.

CHARACTER A

…Great. Awesome.

There is a pause.

CHARACTER A

You can go now.

CHARACTER B turns to leave, then pauses.

CHARACTER B

Are we ever going to be friends?

CHARACTER A

I’m sorry, what?

CHARACTER B

Really. Real question. Are we ever going to be friends?

CHARACTER A

Listen, I don’t owe you coffee and a shoulder to cry on and screams whenever I see you just ‘cause you apologized to me.

CHARACTER B

That’s common decency.

CHARACTER A

Wow.

CHARACTER B

Apologizing, I mean! I’m not asking to be passive aggressive, I’m not asking to guilt trip you, but I genuinely, really want to be friends with you. And you probably don’t want that. I’m a little much. A lot much. And it gets on your nerves, I know it does, I’m sorry about that too, but I really want to know if I should hope for friendship or reconcile with the fact that we’ll never talk after we graduate. I mean, in that case I’ll say hi at the reunion in 20 years when you’re bald and I’m tired and you’ll forget this conversation – please forget this conversation – and it’ll be totally fine.

CHARACTER A

Ok, great, I’ve gotta go.

CHARACTER B

Right. Right. Right wait so is that a no? Yes or no to friendship, dude. Spell it out for me.

CHARACTER A

We’re already friends, I think?

CHARACTER B

No, you don’t get it! Like, friendship entails different things from friendship, you know? No, okay, you have no clue. So friendship – boring Sans Serif friendship, you’re on the white people christmas card mailing list and whenever we run into each other it’s all: “Oh my god we haven’t talked in foreeeeever we’ve gotta catch up some time alright cool bye!” or whatever. I’m underselling it. It’s important! It’s cool! It’s insanely special to me and I walk away smiling at the fact that I’m friendly with these people, right? But friendship – please imagine the unicorns and sparkles and hot chocolate smell in the air – friendship is different. It’s the mortifying ordeal of being known. It sucks because you realize people know the worst things about you and they still love you. Why do they still do that? Like, with supermarket friends, you can tell yourself they don’t know you well enough and just be happy they think you’re worth stopping to talk to. But here, with friendship, you’re just constantly wondering why the hell these people think you’re worth their time. And you battle to accept their love and eventually you lose – or you win? – whichever it is, you both just get that this is a person who, in the moment, despite and probably because of the things you think are flaws, this is a person who is sticking with you by choice. And you have picnics or sit in the hall and talk and you aren’t scared of losing time with them and you aren’t scared they’ll learn something new and revoke their...friendship. I think that’s it, actually. You aren’t scared of never talking to them again, because you know you’ll both do so much to stay friends, because you know each other and you just. Want to keep knowing each other. Mutual effort, you know? Like, I send you care packages and know that they’ll be well received and you talk to me about the things you like and be honest with me and let me be excited and whatever. So I’m asking if there’s a chance – even a tiny one – that we’d put in mutual effort for friendship.

CHARACTER A

I mean, that’s a high pressure answer.

CHARACTER B

It’s not supposed to be. Is it annoying if I stop to talk to you and let you know I like listening when you’re excited about stuff?

(pause)

CHARACTER A

That’s fine.

CHARACTER B

Cool. So can I take that as a maybe yes?

CHARACTER A

Yeah. Sure.

CHARACTER B

Sure. Cool. Yeah, bro. See ya later, pal. Have an awesome day, love ya byeeeeeee!

#wow #she was going through it huh #anyways #scene #words

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crabpdf · 2 years

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I’ve spent the last few days starting fights and being bored and crying with my head over a keyboard. It’s a struggle to convince myself that maybe I am worthy of love and I’ve really realized how petty I can be at the worst times. It’s been difficult to put into my brain the idea that I am liked, and I’ll be liked tomorrow, and the day after and the day that I won’t be liked is so far away that I don’t even need to consider it. I’ve been wounded by relationships (friendships mostly) that had me constantly trying to guess if they’ll still want to talk to me the next day.

I’m scared of losing what I have now and this fear has warped my perspective of the people I care about the most. I’m plagued by constant guessing, concerned if they think I’m annoying or not worth their time. Them abruptly thinking I’m boring or conversely, too much to handle are all self-inflicted worries. My image of sincere love and intimacy has been shrouded by trivial insecurities and I know this. But it’s just so hard to overcome because I don’t know how to make myself realize that it’s okay for me to accept the plentiful love in front of me.

I’ve picked fights all throughout the last week and gone through an immense number of discussions on how much I’m struggling to realize that I’m okay, that things are okay. There’s so much evidence of me being loved in my own bedroom: receipts, letters, stuffed toys, and a hoodie. Still I can’t put it into my brain that he’s not going to stop liking me out of nowhere. That the late replies aren’t a product of diminishing interest. That he still makes the effort to call me at 4 in the morning when I tell him that I’ve been crying. That he loves me. That he tells his family about me. That he isn’t the best with words and that’s why he cooks my favorite pasta and refuses to let go of my hand. That he’s tired and busy with school and the real focus should be on how I can show him that I care rather than how I know I am cared for.

I am hurt and misguided to the point of selfishness, but I don’t want to berate myself any longer. I don’t doubt that I have love to give but I don’t realize that I also need to start thinking of ways to show it that aren’t dictated by how much love I feel I’m receiving. I’m guilty of stopping myself from showing that I care because I was insecure. I can’t keep hiding my heart. I know why I like him, I’ve memorized all the ways he takes care of himself and of me, but I can’t answer the question of why he would do all of these things for me.

#quicksilver patchwork

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cosmicjoke · 3 years

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Ah, and now onto one of the most depressing chapters in all of SnK, chapter 132.

You know, if anyone ever needed a reason to despise Floch any more, how about the fact that he’s literally the reason Hange died? If this bitch ass ho hadn’t shot the fuel tank of the plane full of holes, Hange wouldn’t have had to engage with the Titans to buy time for them to fix it, and they wouldn’t have died. So, fuck you Floch. I wish you’d suffered more before Mikasa finally ended your ass.

Well, anyway, what can I say about this chapter that hasn’t already been discussed? Probably nothing, but I’ll try my best to give my observations anyway.

This really is Hange’s chapter, and Levi’s, in terms of putting a spot light on the importance of their relationship to one another.

Hange’s sacrifice in this chapter is heartbreaking, it truly is, and such a major blow to everyone. But to Levi most of all, and for so many reasons.

First of all, what stands out to me is the exchange between them, after Pieck tells Hange to stop being “gross”. What I want to talk about here is when Hange asks Levi if he thinks their dead comrades are watching, and if he thinks they’ll be proud of what they do here today. Levi tells Hange to stop talking like “him”, meaning of course Erwin. This scene is just heart-wrenching, and part of that is, I think, because of Levi’s reaction to what Hange is saying. He has, once again, such a weary, resigned looked on his face, and it’s because, I think, of the parallels he sees with Erwin. I think Levi already knows, at this point, that Hange is going to die, in some way. He recognizes the same, fatalistic bent to Hange’s mindset as he saw in Erwin, that day in Shinganshina, the same burden of guilt. Just as Erwin began to bow and break under the weight of all the lives that had been lost under his command, Hange too is beginning to break, overcome by despair and hopelessness at what they perceive to be their failures. Hange expresses this outright in the scene with Yelena, when Yelena tries forcing everyone to admit that Zeke was right, and Hange just resignedly agrees, saying that it was because of their failure to come up with a plan, because of their loss of hope, that Eren’s done what he has. Of course, this isn’t true, just like Erwin blaming himself for the deaths of all those soldiers wasn’t based in any kind of truth. But the sense of guilt is the same. Hange blames themselves for what’s happening now, and they say this in front of everyone, including Levi. And then Hange says what they do to Levi, about their dead comrades, and I think this must have been like the worst kind of deja vu to Levi, this kind of guilt driving Hange towards despair and hopelessness. He tells Hange “Don’t you start talking like him, too...” because he can’t bear it. He can’t bear to see his last, true friend succumb to the same fate as Erwin.

And then the Rumbling shows up, and Hange refuses for anyone else to engage with the Titans but themselves. They tell everyone “I’m the one who led us here. I pressed on, even at the cost of so many lives. Time to face the music.”, and it’s Hange willingly taking on the role of martyr, the same one Levi had to help Erwin to accept for himself, in order to give their comrades a chance at victory. Hange’s selflessness here is the definition of heroic. True, unwavering conviction to what they believe is right.

But once again, similarly to Levi’s final push to help Erwin become the commander everyone believed him to be, Levi recognizes for Hange, in their final moment together, what it is they need. He doesn’t try to stop Hange, doesn’t try to convince them against their chosen course of action, doesn’t cry out after them. The same way Levi recognized in Erwin the way he was being crushed under the weight of his guilt, and understood how it would be a mercy and a salvation to make for him the decision to let go of his dream and die, Levi also recognizes in Hange that same burden and suffocating sense of guilt, and knows this is a decision Hange has made for themselves, their final absolution and ownership of their past choices, and that this is the thing Hange needs to relieve them of their burden. A way for them to bear the burden of their past choices without regret. Hange implores Levi to let them walk away and do this, and Levi does, because he understands, the same as he understood with Erwin.

But we finally see in full view the consequences for Levi in making these decisions, in letting his two, closest friends go to their deaths for the sake of their cause. Levi’s expression in the following three panels is one of such unfathomable heartbreak. He looks like a man utterly resigned to losing every good thing in his life, conscious and accepting of life’s bitter injustice and the grief of loss, but no less affected by it. Levi is in so much obvious pain here. Not physical (though obviously there’s that), but emotional and mental. Hange is it for him. They’re his last, real connection, his last, true friend, his last person. And he has to let them go here. Both for the sake of humanity, and for Hange’s own sake as well. It truly is the bitterest pill to swallow. And once again, it is a desperately heartbreaking display of Levi’s own selflessness, that he lets Hange go, that he lets Hange do this thing that needs to be done, without complaint, without protest, without influence from his own feelings, sacrificing once more what would be best for him for the sake of everyone else. Levi looks devastated as he lays his fist against Hange’s chest and tells them “dedicate your heart”. This final acceptance of his own, tragic loss, and Hange’s own choice to sacrifice their life.

And it continues when Hange flies away, at last, and we see Levi standing with the rest of their group. Everyone around Levi has expressions of shock, dismay, and disbelief. They haven’t yet accepted that this is happening, that Hange is flying to their death to buy them the time they need. They look astonished and horrified. But Levi is the lone exception. He doesn’t look shocked, or disbelieving, but only continues to carry that same expression of weary, despairing resignation and acceptance. And I think what we see in Levi, in this final arc is, in many ways, the culmination of a lifetime of loss and grief. Levi’s lost more than probably any other character in SnK. He’s experienced the most extreme forms of poverty and depravation from the time he was born, and with the death of Hange, has now lost every, single person that he ever formed any kind of close bond with. With Hange’s death, Levi is left finally, completely alone. And the look of defeat on Levi’s face throughout this entire arc is, I think, reflective of the affirmation he must feel, of the cruelty and injustice of life’s indifference to the suffering of everyone. Every experience in Levi’s life has driven home to him the lesson, again and again, of the unfairness and cruelty of existing in this world. And the events of this final arc, Eren’s betrayal, Zeke’s manipulations and cruelties, the deaths of so many comrades, the Rumbling, violence and destruction and allies turning against one another, and finally, Hange’s death, can only solidify for him the hopeless cynicism he’s fought against all his life, the awful comprehension of life’s brutality. With Hange’s death, Levi is made to face once more what he’s always, deep down, known, which is that to exist in this world is to suffer with no purpose.

And yet, still, Levi fights on. He accepts Hange’s death with all the pain the loss crushes him down with. He tells Hange goodbye, and asks them to “Just watch us.”. Because even with the affirmation of all of Levi’s greatest despairs, he still finds a reason to make the fight worth it. To realize the dream they all fought for, the salvation and future of humanity, and through the realization of that dream, to give meaning and importance to the lives of all those who have died in that dreams name, and meaning and importance to the lives of those yet still there. Levi refuses, still, to give up, refuses to accept the futility and insignificance of people’s lives, even as he’s so ruthlessly reminded again and again of it. And it’s in Hange, I think, that Levi finds that strength. Because Hange also refused to give up. Like they told Floch as he bled out, “We still can’t give up. Even if we fail here, now, maybe someday...” Maybe someday, life really will get better. Maybe someday, people won’t have to suffer so much. Maybe someday, there really will be a point to all of it. Even in the face of total despair, Hange and Levi both found reasons to keep fighting.

Also, just some smaller observations about Levi’s physical state, and what it also says about his determination to not give up, but also about his perception of himself.

Levi is doing BAD here. I didn’t notice this on my first read through, but when they’re all gearing up with their ODM gear, Levi is the only one sitting down on a crate, while everyone else is standing. We see earlier in the chapter, when he leaves his room on the boat, he can’t even stand without the support of a handrail on the upper deck, or Armin’s arm around his shoulders. And then when we see him testing his grip on the handle of his ODM’s blade, his hand is visibly shaking. Levi’s physically too weak to stand on his own at this point, too weak to even hold his blades steady. He must be in absolutely horrific pain. Probably dizzy and lightheaded, probably nauseas even. He’s FAILING physically. On the verge, it seems, of collapse. The fact that he’s even up and making the effort to move is something of a miracle, let alone that he’s prepared to engage in intense, physical combat, which just a short time later, he DOES. That’s remarkable, and such a testament to Levi’s incredible will and unwavering conviction to fight for humanity. He’s dying. I think literally, he’s extremely close to death, genuinely frail. But he still is ready and willing to give his all. I think, over the course of the few chapters before this one, it must have been horrifically hard for Levi to sit by and watch as everyone else risked their lives to fight. This isn’t something Levi is used to, being helpless and unable to fight for others. He isn’t used to letting others take the risk while he stays back. When Levi comes out of his cabin and Armin tries to convince him to go back to bed, Levi snaps with impatience that if he keeps resting, they’re all going to forget he even exists. This reveals a lot about Levi’s perception of himself as someone who needs to make himself useful in order to matter. As a tool to utilize. He feels useless and like dead weight if he isn’t able to fight, and so, even on deaths door, he pushes himself to do just that, to become a weapon to be used in the coming battle. It’s heartbreaking, to see Levi regard himself this way, even as it proves his incredible devotion and heart. Once again, his own well being takes a backseat to the cause of others. His health is secondary, in his mind. For someone who always shows so much compassion and kindness and understanding for others, it makes it doubly heartbreaking, to see that Levi can’t manage the same compassion for himself, can’t give himself a break, or a pass for his weakness. That he can’t allow himself that vulnerability, or for others to fight for him, even as all his life, he’s done nothing but fight for others.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Levi Ackerman #hange zöe #snk 132 #meta #thoughts

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years

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Fair

Fair by The Amazing Devil. Okay bear with me here guys. There is absolutely nothing I could add to Joey’s beautiful fucking lyrics so this is my shot in the dark at something worth posting. It got kinda long too so like I hope y’all don't hate it?

Warnings: accidental love confessions, decades of mututal pining condensed into one song, cute ass resolution tho

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Geralt jogged across the busy street and ducked into the back entrance to the bar Jaskier was playing at, running significantly later than usual, but at least he’d told Jask he might not make it. It seemed that his friend had drawn quite the crowd, so he took one of the few available seats in a far corner and sat back to watch.

Jaskier ran through his usual set with a couple new ones or crowd pleasing covers, even though he told Geralt he hated them. When he was winding down for the night someone shouted a song Geralt hadn’t heard before and Jaskier hesitated.

“C’mon! It’s so good!”

Jaskier chuckled and scanned the audience, his eyes never landing on Geralt even though he waved, “You know what? Fuck it. Fair it is.”

It seemed like the whole front half of the bar whooped and hollered in delight and it had Geralt on the edge of his seat. He thought he knew all of Jask’s songs.

As he started to pluck the intro, Jaskier settled onto the stool and it seemed the audience settled in with him, listening raptly as he began in the soft voice he used to sing Ciri lullabies with.

It's what my heart just yearns to say

In ways that can't be said

It's what my rotting bones will sing

When the rest of me is dead

It's what's engraved upon my heart

In letters deeply worn

Today, I somehow understand the reason I was born

Geralt was enthralled as soon as he opened his mouth. His attention was often consumed by Jaskier, what with the bubbling feelings he’d been pushing down over the years, but this felt… different. This was vulnerable and delicate in a way that Geralt rarely saw from his friend. He almost felt like he shouldn’t be here. Had Jaskier been searching the crowd for him? Was there a reason he wasn’t familiar with the song?

"It's not fair, it's not fair how much I love you

It's not fair, 'cause you make me laugh

When I'm actually really fucking cross at you for something"

And he'll say

"Oh, how, oh, how unreasonable

How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do

I'll spend my days so close to you

'Cause if I'm standing here, maybe everyone will think I'm alright"

That line nearly stopped Geralt’s heart. “...maybe everyone will think I’m alright.” It echoed in his head as he remembered where he first heard it. He had been eavesdropping on Jaskier and Yen at some barbecue or something. Geralt had a very hazy, possibly not real, memory of kissing Jaskier the night before but said nothing just in case it wasn’t real. Yen asked Jask why he was still there if he was so heartbroken... and Geralt was only putting the pieces together four years later.

And if you asked me to, if you asked me, I would lose it all

Like petals in a storm

'Cause, darling, I was born to press my head

Between your shoulder blades at night when light is fading

When they’d lived together Jaskier would come into Geralt’s room when it was cold and do exactly that; snuggle up close and press his cheek between Geralt’s shoulder blades.

Christ, you'll be the death of me

Geralt’s head was spinning. He said that line to Jaskier practically every day they’d known each other. It was the closest he’d ever made it to ‘I love you’ even platonically. The song was cherry picking all the lovely little moments and jokes of their relationship and weaving them into… into what? A love story?

I'm still here, love, like I've always been before

Fuck, Geralt knew that too. When he left Yen that was the first thing Jaskier said as he held him close and let him cry for hours.

"How unfair, how unfair, " they'll sing

As they dance across the darling rooftop wreck

He'll trip, and she'll pretend not to have seen

Burying her head into his chest

And clinging to the moment, "Where have you been?"

She'll whisper, "I've waited, oh, so long for you to come"

And as the stars above them hum and hear them

He'll turn to her and say, "That's what she said"

That was their senior year of college, drunk as fuck at a frat party.

"Oh, how, oh, how unreasonable

How unreasonably in love I am with everything you do

I'll spend my days so close to you

'Cause if I'm stood here, then I'm stood here

And I'll stand here

I'll stand here with you"

Geralt stood up when Jaskier’s eyes landed on him in the crowd and his voice cracked. The blood seemed to drain from his face, even as the bar clapped and cooed in adoration. Jaskier said a brief thank you, stumbling over his words before racing through the kitchen doors next to the stage. Geralt followed him without a second thought, honestly all coherent thoughts had left his mind.

When he slipped through the double doors, Jaskier was gripping the dish pit for dear life, squeezing his eyes shut like he used to when he woke up from a nightmare.

“Jask are you okay?” Geralt kept his distance even though he wanted nothing more than to gather Jaskier in his arms and never let him go.

The whisper of “no” in response wrapped around Geralt’s heart and nearly squeezed the life out of it.

He inched closer, keeping his voice low and calm, “You were checking I wasn’t there.”

“Did a shit job of that, didn’t I?” Jaskier tried to laugh but it came out as more of a sob and he sucked in a breath, holding it in an effort to keep it together.

“Hey,” Geralt laid a hand over Jaskier’s knuckles in an effort to calm him down, “why are you scared?”

Jaskier just shot him a glare.

“I’m not mad,” Geralt insisted, “Just confused.”

“You’re confused?” Jaskier was astonished, the humor of Geralt not getting it when it was so obvious was apparently enough to bring back his words.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas but I’m not notorious for good ideas.” Geralt offered a half smile as he tilted his head down to try to catch Jaskier’s gaze.

“No,” Jaskier sniffed, wiping his nose with his shirt sleeve, “you’re really not.”

Geralt waited, not entirely patiently but he managed to keep up the façade.

“I ah… I mean it.”

Geralt nodded, “And ‘she’ is…?”

“‘She’ is me… except the frat house one. I think ‘she’ was you? I honestly can't remember.”

Geralt grinned, “‘She’ was you. You laughed so hard you hurled.”

Jaskier shook his head, his lips threatening to smile but holding steady, “It’s all blank.”

Geralt gently gripped his wrist and turned him so they were face to face, “I had no idea… honestly.”

Jaskier scrunched his nose and frowned, “Geralt, please. We can just forget it. I don’t want to lose you and Ciri. I’m fine pretending, I-”

“No chance in Hell.” Geralt interrupted before he could really get on a roll, cupping his cheek with one hand and glancing down at his lips.

Jaskier’s face went slack with realization for a moment before he gripped Geralt’s collar and smashed their lips together. Even though it was far from their first kiss, it was everything a first kiss should be. Sweet and a little frantic, warm and a little messy.

When they parted Jaskier kept his eyes closed, pressing their foreheads together as Geralt hummed in satisfaction, “I am unreasonably in love with you too.”

807 notes · View notes

writersrealmbts · 3 years

Text

A Natural: Part 7/Finale

Description: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader: You’re a single mom, and your son is your entire world. When you take him to get his first hybrid, his choice is pretty bewildering, until you realize that he was picking out a dad.

Posted: 04/09/2021

Tags: Taehyung, Hybrid Taehyung, Human Reader

Wordcount: 3,673

A/N: Yay! Another series finished! Thanks for loving this story!

Theo was talking animatedly with Taehyung as he was wheeled toward the house, but he got quieter as you approached the front door to unlock it, looking down at the ramp beneath the wheels of the wheelchair.

Tae pushed him through the front door, his conversation also lulling.

Theo looked around, a bit of a smile on his face. “I get to stay now, right?”

You nodded, kissing his forehead. “You get to stay now and forever. We do have to go back for checkups and therapy but you’re home and you’re safe and I’m making roast beef and mashed potatoes.”

“Yummy! Can we go play, Dad?” Theo asked, brightening instantly and sort of bouncing in his wheelchair.

“Sure!” Tae pushed the wheelchair through at a speed that made you nervous. But you knew he would never purposely endanger Theo: Theo was his pup. That was evident in all of his actions, in his conversation, and in the effort he had made to get certified so that he could be there when Theo was released.

You went into the kitchen to baste your roast and then start peeling the mashed potatoes, trying to calm your heart because your baby was finally home again. Finally, finally home again, after weeks and months of too little patience and not enough answers, and a whole sea of tears. Therapy, rehab, tests, more tests, and after all of that, you had your baby home—less mobile than before, but still your baby.

You watched Theo playing on the bed with Tae, fighting the tears and hopelessly losing because he was back where he belonged.

Peace, comfort, and everything right in the world. Nothing intruding, just your little family.

So, of course, your phone rang.

You groaned and answered it. “Yoongi? Really? We just got Theo home.”

“It happened. We’re out of a job,” Yoongi answered, sighing. “They closed the company down.”

“Ugh. You could have texted me that,” You huffed, heading back to the kitchen. The two of you had basically considered everything going on and known that the company was going to collapse. You’d almost been told as much when the two of you went in to talk to an IRS agent who wanted you to walk her through your jobs and some files and go over the discrepancies that had led to the audits.

“Yeah, well, I also had to tell you that the paperwork came in the mail today, and we close on the building next week.”

“Okay, that was worth calling me,” You said, hopping onto the counter. “What’s next on the list?”

“Fixing the building? Getting the classes organized. You finish the certification class tomorrow?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of pathetic,” You said, shrugging. “Too easy. Let’s make our classes thorough, yeah?”

“Agreed. Jin is already writing a teaching plan. He’s got it halfway done—at least, I hope that’s the halfway point. Jungkook’s been helping, which makes hyung happy. And he’s finished the dog-training next week. The teacher was really excited to hear about what we’re doing, by the way, and gave Jin a bunch of things. She asked Jin to sit in on her next couple of classes as her helper.”

“That’s really great. Jimin?”

“He’s hitting garage sales to celebrate getting the building, hoping to find some cheap stuff to get us started. How’s Theo?”

“He’s fine. He’s bright and happy and playing with Taehyung right now. He’s taking things well and I’m making his favorite, and he’s looking forward to everyone coming over tomorrow.” You checked your timer, then sighed. “We’re totally doing pizza, though. I’m already exhausted.”

“Okay. I can pick it up on my way over.”

“Thanks. I’ve got to go. Need to get the rest of dinner started.”

“Tell Theo we’re looking forward to playing games with him tomorrow.”

“You got it. Eat well.”

“You too.”

You slipped off of the counter, and started putzing around the kitchen making some side dishes to go with dinner.

Tae came out. “How long until dinner?”

“Twenty minutes?”

“Better keep it warm, he fell asleep.”

You nodded, letting him stop you and hold you still. “He okay?”

“Very okay. He’s so happy he’s home that he just sort of passed out.” He kissed your cheek, then sighed. “I’m so happy too. I finally get to see him and hold him. I just want to hold him and cry.”

“I’ve almost been in tears for the entire day,” You told him. “I figure once he’s in bed for the night, I’ll cry my little heart out.”

“Can I cry with you?”

“Of course you can. I would never ask you not to cry when you wanted to.” You turned to meet his gaze, gently touching one of his furry ears. “It’s been hard for both of us. It’s still going to be hard. I’m terrified of the next few days.”

“Me too. Even if they told us what to expect and how to care for him, there’re still a lot of mistakes we’re going to make and that scares the fur off me.”

You nodded. “I wouldn’t be able to make it through all this if I hadn’t had you, you know.”

Taehyung nodded. “I know.”

“Mommy! Look! I made it in my chair and through the house!” Theo called, managing the last push through to the kitchen and raising his arms in victory.

“My baby! Look at you!” You hurried over bending to kiss his face all over. “Excellent job!”

“It’s exhau…it’s tiring,” Theo finished, nodding firmly to cover for his lost word.

“Exhausting, fatiguing, tiresome, or draining,” You supplied, sharing a smile with him and moving around to the back of the chair, bringing him over to the table. “What do you want to drink?”

“Water. It smells really good, mommy.” Theo smiled up at you.

You dropped a couple kisses on his face before going to get him his drink.

Tae was bringing over the side dishes. “You want to stay in your wheelchair, or you want to sit on the chair?”

“Chair, it’s a little too high,” Theo said, touching the table edge, which was practically to his chin.

Tae nodded and pulled the wheelchair back. “Arms around my neck.”

Theo did as he was told and the two of them moved him to the dining chair.

“You okay, baby?” You asked, noticing the way Theo was sort of fidgeting in the chair as you brought the roast over.

Theo looked up at you. “It’s still weird.”

“Your legs?” You guessed, resting your hand on his cheek.

He nodded, leaning into your touch. “I don’t like it.”

“I know. Neither do we. But…there are some things in life that are out of our control.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead. “And we’re going to be with you every moment of the way.”

Theo nodded, sighing. “I missed you, mommy.”

“I was with you,” You teased gently, but you understood exactly what he meant. It had always been the two of you, three once Tae had joined, and while he was in the hospital everything felt wrong. You didn’t get to hold him like you wanted, and it seemed like every time you had him in your arms and both of you were comfortable a nurse would come in to do something or other.

“But we weren’t home,” He said, watching Tae put the bowl of mashed potatoes down. “I really, really missed you daddy.”

Tae came over and nuzzled Theo. “I missed you more.”

“I missed you most,” Theo responded easily.

You hummed softly. “Come on. Time to eat, boys, before it gets cold.”

Theo hummed happily as you filled his plate, immediately trying to cut his own food first before ultimately letting Tae do it. “Too tired. Too hard.”

“That’s fine, kiddo,” Tae answered easily. “We all need help sometimes. And cutting things can be hard. At least you try.”

Theo nodded. “Mommy said that as long as I try, I can make it through the world.”

“Your mom is really smart,” Tae said, smiling at you. “She’s got a good history of trying her best at everything, including taking care of you and me. You chose her well.”

Theo laughed. “I didn’t choose her!”

“What?! Of course you did!” Tae objected, grinning himself. “Every kid chooses their parents!”

Theo and Tae launched into a playful debate and storytime about how every kid chooses their parent while you ate, quietly listening and just enjoying the fact that you were home.

Theo was home.

“Uncle Hobi said that he’d help me catch up to the rest of the class over the summer. I don’t want to do school work in the summer, but I don’t want to be behind. Kevin and Jun were close to being my friends, and they sent more drawings and letters than the other kids.”

“They wanted to visit, too, but they didn’t want to tire you out,” You told him. “We told them that they could come play with you once you were home.”

He grinned. “When? Tomorrow? Tuesday?”

“I’ll talk to their moms and arrange it all, and let you know. But, let’s have a couple days just our family.”

Theo nodded, but then looked back up. “Wait, does that include my uncles?”

“Of course. We’re working on projects together so they’re over quite a bit lately. And they’re coming over tomorrow, remember?” Tae nuzzled Theo, then added more potatoes to his plate. “Eat up.”

“More food?”

Tae nodded. “You need to eat well to recover.”

“Oh. Okay.” Theo started eating the extra food on his plate.

“Only eat until you’re full, though,” You instructed.

“Yes, mommy,” Theo answered, smiling at you.

Your baby was home.

——

“Woohoo!” Theo cheered as he rolled down the ramp at a speed carefully controlled by Jungkook.

You finished edging the window and set your brush aside.

The building for the training center was almost finished, and all of the licensing and training that you all needed, and the first classes were slated to start in three days.

“Over here is our obstacle course, which we think will help those training with us, as well as those in physical therapy, learn how to maneuver around things that they’ll come across on a regular day. As you can see, our happy tester is enjoying going down the ramp after he was working on trying to get up it on his own for a while.” Jimin high-fived Theo as he led the group past. “We’re also finishing painting, so try not to touch the walls unless you like paint on you.”

The people chuckled, fascinated by Jimin’s enthusiastic tour. He was showing some hybrid-shelter owners through the facility to sell them the idea of sending hybrids there for training to increase adoption rates. He’d given multiple tours so far, because he was by-far the best at it, aside from Taehyung, but Taehyung had the disadvantage of being a hybrid.

Hoseok was trailing the group, but split off to join you. “They’re practically eating out of his hand.”

“Good. We have bills coming eventually.”

“Yeah.” He sat down next to you. “But this place is amazing. You guys are going to do really well.”

“I hope so.”

Hoseok handed you the folder. “So, I looked things over.”

“Good news, then?” You asked sarcastically.

“Not bad news. He’s learning more slowly, but he’s still learning. As he grows stronger, I think he’ll be okay. He just gets tired so easily that I think it’s causing his trouble. So, once he gets stronger and isn’t as tired, I think he’ll catch up just fine. But for now, he’s going to stay just a little behind. I’m moving up with the class as part of the new program, so I can keep following his progress and helping him.” He patted your shoulder. “I already talked to the higher-ups about it. They agreed that it was important for him to be with his friends. Especially since we’re working on catching him up. And he’s still a bright kid, that catches on quickly. Tired equals distracted, distracted equals slower learning.”

“Thanks for the crayons, teach,” You answered dryly.

He grinned at you. “Hey, there’s a reason I teach kids.”

“Because you are one?”

He laughed and the two of you watched as Jungkook helped Theo work his way up the easiest ramp so he could go down the hardest again.

“He really likes this place. After we left yesterday, it was all he could talk about,” You told him, smiling as Theo cheered on his way down the ramp again.

“His friends are coming to play here, aren’t they?”

You nodded. “They’ll be here soon. Taehyung is waiting to show them in. Their mom’s were excited to hear that this was practically a playground, rainy days are hard.”

“You could market day-passes and make that one room into a playroom for kids, that’d help bring in more income. I know several sets of parents that would bring their younger kids in, especially on rainy days. And if hybrid rights ever get reestablished, you could make it hybrid friendly which would really help.”

Yoongi paused in the doorway and looked at you.

You looked back, then at Hoseok. “So, we told you you’re a shareholder, right?”

Hoseok nodded.

Yoongi pulled out a notebook and wrote the idea down. “I’ll start pricing things and we can discuss it.”

“Theo!”

You looked over as Kevin and Jun ran over.

“Hi!” Theo greeted them enthusiastically and they started talking.

Taehyung was leading in their mothers.

“I should go talk with them,” You excused yourself and headed over.

“Y/n, it’s so good to see you. Thanks for letting the kids play here, it looks great,” Jun’s mother (Debby?) said, sounding genuinely enthusiastic.

“And safe. Kevin has a habit of hitting his head on everything so I’m glad to see everything is padded. Lumps are easy, cuts are hard,” Kevin’s mother (Jamie?) added. “Plus the rain.”

You nodded. “They’re little balls of energy, but I’m really grateful for you two bringing them. Theo was so excited to hear he would get to see them.”

“Jun’s been asking about Theo almost every week. These past months must have been so hard. I don’t think I could have handled it.”

“I have a really good support system,” You answered easily, turning with them to watch the three boys playing, Jungkook keeping an eye on them to help if Theo got stuck.

The other two boys were being really thoughtful and kind and they saw the wheelchair and Theo being stuck in it as a challenge and a game, which would definitely help. They listened when Jungkook did have to help them and they already seemed to be having fun.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to hang around and keep track of them?” Kevin’s mom asked after giving you her husband’s number as well as Kevin’s backpack.

“We’d be happy to help,” Debby added.

You shook your head. “Go home, relax. Or clean, or whatever you need to get done. I’ve got several helpers on hand if I need them, including their favorite teachers. That is, as long as you’re okay with Jin and Taehyung helping out.”

“Of course, this whole law is ridiculous. It won’t last.” Debby waved a hand as if dismissing the law.

“Can’t last, more like. My favorite babysitter is a golden retriever hybrid, she’s been living in our basement ever since this happened. She was really excited to hear about this place, though, so I told her I would bring her once it was open.”

You smiled. “She’d be very welcome, and just let me know if she wants to take any of the classes.”

They nodded and left after telling their boys to behave and listen to you and the other adults.

You went into different rooms, double-checking the painting and making sure everything looked nice and correct.

Namjoon was sorting through the area rugs, placing them in order by thickness and type. This would make it easier to not only determine what carpets might be easier for people in wheelchairs, but help them and those helping them grow accustomed to the type of challenges that different carpets could present.

Yoongi was going through and making notes of different things that still needed to be finished, or other things that came to mind, as well as double checking some of the safety parameters.

Jimin was still talking with the people he was giving the tour to.

Hoseok was sorting through the spare office supplies that all of you had managed to scrounge up (a lot of yours came from your college years, like the dozen or so sticky note pads, the handful of highlighters, a plethora of paperclips and binder clips, push pins, pencils, pens, erasers, loose-leaf lined paper, binders, folders, and index cards—so many index cards), while keeping the kids in his sight should Tae or Jungkook get distracted.

And Seokjin was setting up the kitchen, which was going to be teaching cooking classes as part of companion training, but also used to show the difficulties a person in a wheelchair would face on one side of the kitchen while the other side was made for people in wheelchairs. He really liked the kitchen, and it was his pet project

Which meant you could go and look at the room that wasn’t being used yet.

Hoseok was right, it would make a really good room for kids playing. Something that would be easy to sanitize, but still allow for the kids to play. A slide would easily fit there, some rock wall-type of holds on the wall there….

You backed out of the room and stuck a sticky-note to the door, labeling it the Jungle room.

Yoongi joined you, giving you a questioning look.

“If we’re going to make a room for all kids to play in, we should have a theme for it. Kids like themes. Jungle is a good theme.”

He nodded. “That cafe I told you about, they said if we get busy enough, they’d love to partner with us and open in the cafeteria.”

“That’d be perfect. For now we’re just going to have to offer snacks by the front desk, though.”

“Jimin is on the phone with the local paper.”

You slowly turned toward him again. “What?”

He nodded. “They called, wanting to talk to someone about this place and Jimin saw me starting to stumble so I pretended I was just an assistant and told them I was handing the phone over to one of the founding members. He’s good at the talking thing. Between him, Jimin, and Tae, we should never need to talk on the phone.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” You answered, hurrying to find Jimin because you wanted to know how the interview went.

“Yes, thank you so much for your inquiries. You have a nice day as well.” Jimin hung up, and grinned at you. “Well, we’re definitely getting some attention!”

“What did they ask? What did you say?”

“Well, they asked why we started this, when we were opening, what we were offering—I added on hybrid companion training for the elderly, but I didn’t think you two would mind—and I gave them the answers, I didn’t divulge first names or anything. I used strictly last names, because even that lends us more anonymity and autonomy. I told them we wanted to help our community and those who were currently suffering—I even added that our training areas worked great for kids playing when it was raining outside because they could hear the boys laughing. They asked if we had considered opening it as a playground for the kids as well when it wasn’t being used for training and I answered yes—but I also added that we’d need another permit or two that we haven’t filed for yet. We have considered that, right?”

“We have, actually, we were talking about turning one of the rooms into a kids playroom specifically. Then if we have hybrids who have kids, the kids can play while their parents are in classes,” Yoongi said, definitely adding that to his notebook, as well as the elderly thing. “This is going to be a life-long project, isn’t it?”

“If we’re lucky,” Jimin answered cheerfully.

You left Yoongi grumbling to go check on the boys, noticing that Theo wasn’t playing as much, but he was still laughing with them and apparently they were rescuing him from pirates or something.

Taehyung wrapped an arm around your waist. “You know…I’m really proud of you.”

You relaxed into his hold, resting your head on his shoulder. “I’m really happy Theo chose you as his father.”

“I’m really happy you let him,” He whispered, then tilted your chin up to gaze into your eyes for a moment.

Then he leaned in and kissed you, softly and gently, a silent promise for forever.

“I knew it!” Theo yelled happily, definitely staring at you two when you looked over. “YES!”

“Whoops,” You whispered, trying not to laugh. It seemed an age ago that you told Theo not to expect the two of you fall in love. Told him he could call Taehyung his father if he really wanted to.

An age since Taehyung first kissed you.

A lifetime since you told Theo he could adopt a hybrid.

Taehyung laughed and kissed you again. “Thank you for my family.”

“Does that mean you don’t want more pups?” You asked cheekily.

He shrugged. “I’m satisfied with whatever I get in life. If that’s more kids, then I’m not going to complain. But Theo’s enough for me.”

You kissed his cheek and rested in his arms, knowing everything in your future was going to be worth the trials. But he was a natural at helping you through it.

You couldn’t ask for anything better than this.

–

Previous.

Taehyung Masterpost. Masterlist.

Tagging: @alex–awesome–22 @missmoxxiesworld @bryvada @knjhe @i-dont-even-know-fck @forvever-ddaeng @ncttzuuy @briramirezalipio @givebuckysomelove @bunnyboyenthusiast @rosita7703 @veryuniquenamegoeshere @lottosehunnie @forevermoremagcon @kpopgirlbtssvt @0mysticx0 @littlewolfieposts @kerikaaria @hemmofluke @beauthiefully

#single mom!reader #single mom au #taehyung #taehyung x reader #hybrid!taehyung #adoptedfather!taehyung #hybrid au #bts fic #bts x reader #kim taehyung #V #parent au #yoongi #seokjin #namjoon #jimin #jungkook #hoseok

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notcorrect-persona5 · 3 years

Text

In Defense of Yosuke’s Parents

I’ve seen so many posts about Yosuke having bad parents which really surprised me because I didn’t get that impression at all. I’ve been meaning to make a post in defense of his parents, but I’ve been working on a Yu analysis. After I saw @personuhh’s post I thought I’d offer an alternative perspective. I’ll be addressing some of the things they brought up first, and then I’ll get into additional evidence. I have edited this post since I originally posted it because I I wanted to elaborate and reword some things.

My Response

You’re right, Yosuke does take on way more responsibility than a part-timer should. However, I don’t think that’s his parents doing. It seems like Junes is extremely understaffed. In his social link, Yosuke says his dad was “bugging him to find helpers.” I volunteer at a small location of a large church (much like the Inaba branch of Junes), and I have been asked to find more volunteers over and over again because they’re desperate for more help. It’s a lot of work and not enough people. Additionally, both Yu and Chie come in to help due to the lack of staff. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs. Hanamura helped out too as Teddie’s under the impression that Yosuke’s parents are always together (which I’ll talk about later).

On top of that, Yosuke mentions part-timers ditching work and slacking off. When an employee doesn’t show up, Yosuke (and Teddie) are often called in because their managers know they’ll show up. People who are reliable are given more responsibility, period. It sucks, but if someone needs help they aren’t going to ask someone who they don’t see as dependable. I volunteer at church every week, and I have been asked countless times if that’s okay because they don’t want to overwork me. Every time I say I don’t mind, and I assume Yosuke would have the same reaction if asked. Not only is it Yosuke’s natural instinct to help people, but he was kind of a pushover before the events of (and at the start of) Persona 4. In his third awakening, Yosuke says he was overworked and taken for granted. That’s not okay, and it’s a huge problem, but Mr. Hanamura isn't the cause of that. Mr. Hanamura is the general manager; his job isn’t to create the part-timer’s schedules.

It’s true that Yosuke tries to work out the problems of other employees and listens to their complaints. There is no indication that Yosuke was told to do this, and I don’t know why he would be. In his social link, there are two girls who act as if he has more power than he does. They demand a raise, ask him to give them the day off, and assume he has knowledge about another employee’s schedule. Yosuke says he doesn't have the power to help them, and in a manga page he says “I may be the manager’s son, but I’m still just an employee.” Yosuke is doing much more than the average part-timer, but he isn’t being given the responsibilities of a manager.

As for the Junes concert, Mr. Hanamura did not tell Yosuke he was going to be fired. Yosuke came to that conclusion himself. Mr. Hanumura did not ask Yosuke to find a solution or ask Rise for help. Yosuke only asked Rise for help because he was scared of moving again. I understand how the phrase “awfully nice for some reason” could come across as odd, but I don’t think he meant his dad isn’t usually nice. In the Persona 4 Manga that scene is translated as “My Dad’s been extra nice to me” meaning his dad is nice, he’s just being extra nice, and I’m not surprised. Yosuke was extremely unhappy when he moved to Inaba. Despite trying to hide his feelings, you can see in The Magician that he didn’t do a very good job of it. And now that Yosuke is finally happy, they might be forced to move again. Of course, Mr. Hanamura would feel guilty. Oftentimes, when people feel guilty, they start acting nicer - unnaturally so - to make themselves feel better. Chie (who is already very kind) even does it after she and Yukiko spend Yosuke’s money on clothes for Teddie. Yosuke notices the shift in her attitude and tells her that he’s worried. It’s the same reaction he had toward his dad’s behavior.

The only reason I bring up Chie is to show an in-game example of someone being overly nice due to guilt. What Chie did was wrong, that’s why she feels guilty. The reason Mr. Hanamura would feel guilty is his job may have to move his entire family again. The cause of their guilt is different, but they are responding the same way.

I don’t think Mrs. Hanamura not wanting her son to own porn is unreasonable. My mom doesn’t like magic, so I wasn’t allowed to read or watch Harry Potter growing up. Similarly, a friend of mine wasn’t allowed to watch iCarly. As for Mrs. Hanamura burning Yosuke’s porn in Arena, that’s the third time (that we know of) that she’s seen his porn. I assume she’s told him she doesn’t want him looking at pornography, but he continues to do so anyway. Burning his magazines may seem dramatic, but she was likely just frustrated that he kept disobeying her.

I don’t think Yosuke’s parents are the reason why Yosuke wants to be seen as manly. I haven’t seen anything that implies that. I think Yosuke’s desperation to be seen as a man comes from Japanese society and his fears regarding his sexuality.

Mr. Hanamura came up with this slogan because they were selling jinbei's which are traditionally worn by men. It’s a play on words. This isn’t the first time Mr. Hanamura has come up with a cringey slogan.

It seems Mr. Hanamura has that stereotypically “dad humor” which is typically associated with positive father figures (it’s not always). Yosuke saying his dad is still saying the “MANsoon” slogan gave me reminds of kids being like “Dad, that’s a bad joke, stop”, but the dad continuing to make his bad jokes regardless. It’s very Disney Channel and sit-com like.

I don’t remember Teddie saying he watches violent war movies with Mr. Hanamura, but I don’t see how that connects to the idea of Mr. Hanamura pushing Yosuke to be a “more masculine, traditional, unshakable, unemotional man.” The idea that only those types of men watch war movies is the type of thinking Kanji’s and Naoto’s shadows were trying to address. I don’t think Mr. Hanamura cares about being that type of stereotypical/traditional man because of his relationship with Teddie. Teddie is not very masculine (he even says so in Persona Q, screenshot will be later), and he isn’t hiding it.

This exchange is from Kanji’s Persona 4 Club Profile. Teddie went to the store to buy female clothing, and he asked Kanji to make him a dress (the one from the cross dressing pageant). He already owned his “Alice dress” before the cross dressing competition, and I assume he’s worn it. In Arena, you can see the dress is hung out in the open in their bedroom. He also wears hair clips.

This is not “masculine behavior” yet the Hanamuras don’t seem to have a problem with it. If anything, I’d say they’re pretty open-minded. If they disliked that way Teddie behaved, Teddie would change himself to fit the way they want him to be. I mean, the kid literally grew two new bodies in effort to get people to like him. Due to Teddie’s low self-esteem and need to be loved, he takes any sort of criticism to heart and does his best to act the way others want him too. In Persona Q, Yukari says he’d be cute if he was quiet, so Teddie stops talking.

In Persona Q, Teddie says he’s realized that to steal hearts he needs to be manly. He gets this realization from Koromaru. He did not think this prior.

Teddie saying Koromaru gave him this realization means the Hanmuras never said anything to him about his less masculine behavior.

As for the song lyrics you posted, I don’t really think that means anything. Yeah, people often relate to the music they listen to, but they don’t have to relate to every lyric or even song. My favorite artist is Taylor Swift, but I don’t really like romance. I don’t relate to most of her songs, but I still jam out to them. I could be super wrong about the song thing though because I’m not a huge music person.

My Own Additional Analysis (with some elements of response)

In this section I’m going to talk about Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura’s character and personality, their relationship with each other, Teddie, and Yosuke.

Let’s start off by talking about their personality. They seem to be very carefree people. Yosuke has less than average grades. In the Persona 4 Animation, he didn’t even show up to one of the exam days. Academics is extremely important in Japanese society, yet his parents don’t seem to be pushing him to get better grades. Considering how carefree Yosuke can be, it makes sense that he may have gotten that trait from his parents.

Yosuke’s family is pretty wealthy. It’s mentioned more than once. They also live in a pretty big house (you can see it in The Magician), Yosuke’s cell phone seems to be a newer model, and he has a large, flatscreen TV in his bedroom which wouldn’t be very common when the game took place. Despite this, Yosuke works for his own money. He complains about being broke and needing save up. I think the reason why Yosuke has a job despite being well-off is because his parents want him to have work experience and grow up to be a hardworking person, so he can succeed in life. It makes me think that hardwork is important to them.

Due to this conversation, I think Mr. Hanamura is a very honest man. Yosuke says he was surprised his dad was against selling gas masks, likely because from a business standpoint, that’s a really big missed opportunity. I think it’s also worth noting that ATLUS talks a lot about how people naturally fit into the masses, including the main characters. That’s why it’s surprising that his father is going against the masses. Although he’s losing money and has faced many hardships running Junes, Mr. Hanamura refused to do something that was against his moral compass.

In Persona 4 Drama CD #1, Junes is closing down half of the electronics section due to a lack of sales. Despite this taking place in March, Teddie panics and hopes to sell a TV set in a month in exchange for keeping the TV they enter the TV World through where it is.

Yosuke isn’t afraid to ask his dad two huge favors with a not very good reason (side note: Yosuke had to lie because the truth is that’s the TV he and his friends used to go into the TV world and fight shadows). Despite Yosuke’s best efforts, his father says no. He doesn’t really have any choice but to close part of the electronics floor. Junes is losing money by keeping it open. I think Mr. Hanamura gave him the vouchers because that’s the only other way he can help. Teddie made a deal that if he sells one TV set by the end of the month, they’ll keep the TV that leads to the TV world. He’s trying to advertise the TV set by promising other surprise items coming with it. These Junes vouchers are part of those surprise items.

It’s no secret that many of the shopping district families despise Junes and the Hanamuras. Many horrible things have been said about their family, yet Junes still teams up with the shopping district in the YasoInaba Case File to help keep them afloat. Whether or not this was Mr. Hanamura’s idea, he’s the one who has to approve it, and he does. Despite being treated horribly by them, he still wants to help the shopping district. Junes teaming up with shopping district might be a good business move, but they didn’t really need to do that. The problem is that Junes is taking away the shopping district’s business. Junes doesn’t need to team up with the shopping district to do well. The two of the teaming up benefits the shopping district way more than Junes. It doesn’t do much for Junes other than the shopping district maybe not hating them. At the end of the day, the shopping district families would still shop at the shopping district to keep their businesses afloat, so Junes isn’t getting a lot more business.

When Teddie came to the real world, Yosuke offered to take Teddie home with no hesitation. He didn’t think it would be a problem with his parents or show any concern about how he would convince them. I think this goes along with them being pretty carefree as well as showing that they’re kind and generous people. Not everyone is willing to take others in like that. Yosuke’s also comfortable with asking his parents such a huge favor.

Teddie talks about Yosuke’s parents in a really positive light, and I would say they treat him like their own son. For example, on January second Teddie says, “I got New Year’s gifts! Yosuke’s mom and dad gave them to me!” (edit: Someone said “notice how Yosuke doesn’t say the same thing.” He doesn’t need to. It’s Japense culture to give younger family members gifts for new Year’s. Yosuke saying something would be the equivalent of, “omg my parents gave me a birthday present!!” It would have been weirder if he did say something then. Teddie is excited because because this is his first New Year’s. He’s never experienced this before. Also, Yosuke did get New Year’s money. He talks about saving it on 1/10 when walking to school).

I think I remember Teddie saying he watches movies with Mrs. Hanamura, but I have no idea where he says that. There’s a 50/50 chance I made that up and convinced myself it was canon, so don’t take my word on that one.

Teddie breaks A LOT of rules at Junes. He steals topsicles, rode a handi mover through the store, slept on both a display bed and the floor of electronics department, been yelled at for eating samples, been chased by store security, and Yosuke had to monitor Teddie during his late night shift because they didn’t trust him to work alone. Teddie’s a terrible employee, yet he hasn’t been fired. I think the reason for this is he’s basically the manager’s son. I do want to say that just because they consider Teddie as their own child doesn’t mean they treat Yosuke as anything less. I haven’t seen a single thing that has implied that there is favoritism going on.

Yosuke and Teddie act a lot like brothers (Naoki even suspects that they're related), and Yosuke’s parents seem to treat Teddie like their own son. He even wears their family crest in offical art. I looks like ATLUS wnted the four of them to be a family. And If that’s the case, it wouldn’t make any sense for Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura to be bad parents.

Additionally, if Mr. and Mrs. Hanamura treated Yosuke badly, and Teddie noticed, I think Teddie would say something.

The second Yukari said something slightly mean about Yosuke, Teddie defended him. He doesn’t like when other people say mean things about Yosuke. Not to mention conflict really stresses him out. If Yosuke’s parents treated him badly, I there’s a chance Teddie might see the problem.

I think it’s also worth noting that Yosuke’s parents have a really healthy marriage.

This quote implies that they’re rarely apart and get along really well. A happy marriage doesn’t automatically equal a healthy household or good parents, but it really increases the likelihood.

For context, Yosuke is talking about Teddie in this picture. I’m not from Japan, so I don’t know if most families there eat breakfast together, but my family - despite being very close - does not. We all eat and start our day at different times. In my mind, eating breakfast together is a very domestic thing to do. Even the phrase “Hanamura family breakfast” screams domestic to me.

This conversation gives me the sense that Mr. Hanamura has a great deal of trust and respect for Yosuke. I mean, I don’t think he would accept Yosuke’s idea if he didn’t. Adding a kid’s menu would be pretty exspensive. Not only do they have to print the kid’s menu, but they have to design them, create new menu items, and depedning on what’s on the menu buy more food or ingredients. That adds up, and if it isn’t successful then they’ll lose money. Mr. Hanamura has to approve that idea, and he’s putting in trust that it’s going to be successful. Also, Yosuke is comfortable enough to “push really hard” for his idea.

All in all, it is my personal opinion that the Hanamurs are a really close family. It would make sense for ATLUS to go in that direction to create a contrast to the Narukami’s, after all. That being said, neither headcanon is wrong. It just comes down to how we interpret the very little information we’re given.

#yosuke hanamura #teddie persona 4 #persona 4 teddie #teddie #not a quote #analysis #persona 4 #p4 #Hanamura bros

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sakura-83 · 3 years

Text

Things from Anne with an e that I feel like writing down

Season 1 Episode 7: Wherever You Are Is My Home

⚠️WARNING!!!⚠️ this episode not only talks about suicidal thoughts but also a character trying to commit such acts, of you are sensitive to this I suggest you just skip this post or at least skip #75-77

1. Anne calling it comforting that no two snowflakes are alike, as well as calling snow a sign of gods forgiveness as he blankets the dead world in a beautiful frost

2. Josie gossiping about her while she’s RIGHT THERE

3. Her and moody just talking

4. “And I love Christmas, don’t you?” “I don’t know, but I plan to.” “Did you not have Christmas at the orphanage?” “There wasn’t much to it really. I’m not sure why Father Christmas wasn’t able to stop there, maybe the matron scared him off.”

5. “Do you at least know if they’re going to keep you?” “Keep me!?”

6. Anne trying to sing with the others but the other voices quickly fading out as she panics and rushes home

7. “They’re not going to send you back, you’re in the Bible and everything!”

8. Marilla has every right to be angry that Matthew rushed their home without even discussing it

9. “I knew you’d lose your head-“ “Oh, I oughta smack yours right off your shoulders!”

10. Matthew is prone to heart attacks, the very same thing causing his death in the books

11. “He’s had an episode of the heart” just a funny way to say heart attack, sort of long winded

12. Marilla not understanding the complex math because she had to leave school when she was young

13. Anne helping her with it because she’s top of her class

14. “Not keeping you? You’re a Cuthbert, for better or for worse! No getting out of it now.”

15. The awful bank not relenting on the payback schedule despite the fact that Matthew cannot work. Corporations are cruel and ungiving despite the human struggles and needs of its clients and it hurts. I know the bank invested that money and they need it back but Matthew was indisposed by a tragic event and to not only not extent but to SHORTEN the payback schedule is just unfeeling

16. Marilla putting out an ad to the mainland to take in borders

17. The terrifying idea that you must sell everything you have in order to survive

18. Marilla being desperate yet still too prideful to accept charity

19. The fact that it not only effects the family but also Jerry, as they can’t afford to pay him. It puts him out of a job and lowers his families income

20. A reoccurring theme I love in this show is the idea that the characters will give up their belongings, no matter how sentimental, in the name of family. Matthew selling his dead brothers watch, Marilla selling her grandmothers brooch, Anne selling the dress of her dreams, all because no matter how important these items are, they are just things. That family is more important, so even though it pains you to have to give those things up, you do it in the name of love for others

21. “Theyre just things.”

22. Anne feeling sorrow and yet being excited to stay at aunt Josephine’s

23. Despite being told she can keep the dress, Anne insists on selling it back because it’s a family effort

24. Anne being exited for a solo adventure and then getting stuck with jerry

25. Jerry has to be there to get money Anne his family is hungry :(

26. “I don’t actually need your help.” “When’s the last time you drove a sleigh? Auctioned a horse? Let’s go.”

27. Diana giving her things to sell as well

28. Jerry knows how to drive a sleigh?????

29. “It’s not so bad to ask for help sometimes, y’know?” “If I needed help I would say so.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes, I would.” “Wouldn’t.” “Would! Times infinity.” “What???”

30. Jerry singing in French

31. “No singing. I mean it. I’m serious, Jerry! This is an important journey! I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY BEAR HANDS!”

32. Jerry grinning as she gets madder

33. Anne bring mystified by the dress shop

34. “I’m here to return a dress.” Is something wrong with it?” “Not a thing.” “Do you not like it?” “It is my very favorite thing that I have ever possessed in life. But I need to return it to help my family.” “You’re Anne, Matthew’s Anne!” “I am! How nice it is to hear it said that way.”

35. Anne being upbeat until Jeannie asks what’s wrong and then ask just breaks down

36. Poor Jerry waiting outside in the snow for her

37. Either Matthew spent some much money on Anne’s dress or Jeannie gave her extra, or both

38. “Did Matthew really spend this much?..” “You’re worth a lot to him.”

39. “I hate to say goodbye…” “😏 I won’t be so long~” “To the HORSE, Jerry. Why are you so annoying.”

40. “You’re a good horse Birdie, try to remember that. Someone will be very lucky to have you.”

41. Birdie really is a beautiful horse though

42. Anne’s little “my parents are spies” act she uses on the pawn broker

43. The pawn broker is so understandable rude because of his profession, it makes him equally annoying and funny

44. “What a piece of work you are.”

45. Anne is so good at making up stories on the spot

46. “If you can’t afford it I completely understand.”

47. I love how snide remarks of “being a good Christian” are frequent and effective insults in the 1800’s

48. Poor Jerry doesn’t just get beaten up and robbed, he gets brutally beaten by two grown men and there’s nothing he can do despite that being… his last paycheck. That was the last income he was going to give his family and he’s so ashamed of himself that he keeps apologizing for it despite most of the money being his. He apologizes to Anne, to Matthew, it bothers him for months to come

49. Gilbert’s back!!

50. “Still seems unreal. Even though I just sold all our… everything.”

51. “He’s a good man.” “I love him with all my heart. I don’t know what if do if…”

52. Them arguing over not arguing

53. Anne apologizing

54. “Anyway…” “Anyway..”

55. I genuinely didn’t realize that the men who beat up Jerry are the same men that took in borders at green gables, I got the same face blindness as Jerry himself

56. “I’ve missed you.” “Yeah?” “At school, theres.. no one to compete with.” “”You want to spell out a few words for old times sake?” “How about… truce?”

57. Jerry thinking Gilbert was going to hurt Anne and take her money and immediately jumping in to stop him despite swaying on his feet

58. When Anne asks him if he’s okay he immediately starts apologizing about the money

59. “I don’t like the city.”

60. “Just take care of yourself, and come home someday.”

61. Anne and Gilbert staring at each other quietly

62. “This is a palace, not a house.”

63. Jerry assuming that they’ll make him sleep in the stable instead of inside the massive house

64. “I’ll look after belle.”

65. “This city is rife with ruffians!”

66. Aunt Josephine insisting on helping

67. Matthew lamenting his own life, talking of how his life insurance will give them a sizable sum and how he drags them down despite them needing him

68. “Anne loves you, you have to remember that.” “But her future…” “Which do you think she would choose, this house or you?”

69. Jerry bring terrified to stay in a room by himself because he’s always had his family around him

70. Anne making room for him only for him to sleep upside down

71. “Don’t worry, I don’t kick like my sisters.” “Yeah, you’d better not.”

72. “Everything will be alright. It’ll be alright..”

73. Aunt Josephine helping by paying for Jerry to work at Green Gables, as well as giving Anne books

74. “We’ve been together all these years, thick or thin, so don’t think I’ll put up with you slipping away now. Anne will be home today, and she’ll be very happy to see you.”

75. Matthew trying to kill himself because the life insurance would pay off the debt he caused

76. Jeannie happening to show up and find Matthew with the gun just in time as he tries to hide what he’s almost done from her, realizing what he’s done

77. The way they stress how his passing would effect Anne the most because of what they mean to each other, that she will suffer without him despite what he’s trying to do

78. “Don’t ever get old…” “Too late for that.”

79. “You would’ve left us that way!? Left me?..”

80. “Give it back. I won’t take charity.” “But.. love isn’t charity.” “I won’t take it.” “Nay I ask why not?” “We will not be pitied! I don’t want people thinking we can’t fend for ourselves.” “Well at the moment we can’t, and I’d sure give my last bit of strength or my last dollar to help a friend. Then I know that friend would feel grateful and loved above all else. And I do. I feel very grateful to have such a dear friend as Miss Barry. Sometimes you just have to let people love you Marilla.”

81. Anne selling her cleaning services to make steady income

82. “We’re rich, aren’t we Matthew?”

83. Jerry carving a star for the Christmas tree!!!!!!

84. Anne’s friends coming to sing carols at their house

85. Anne helping Matthew walk outside

86. Not Nate :(

87. Nathaniel, the bane of my existence

#renew awae #awae #anne shirly cuthbert #jerry baynard #mathew cuthbert #marilla cuthbert #josephine barry

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rose-colored-amy · 3 years

Text

Prompt: Genin!Sakura meets her future self, a hardened warrior who has lost everything —from her teammates to the world itself—. She has come to warn her younger version about the consequences of being negligent. Unbeknownst to them, this short meeting will end up being the turning points towards another future; a future where the world is safe and there's much less pain to recover from. Slight Sasusaku. Mostly Team 7 fluff.

One Day at a Time

Sakura was acting strange. Kakashi could tell right away. She was silent, which was an oddity in itself. Usually she would fuss over Sasuke until the boy silenced her with a sharp comment or a straight up glare. He decided to let it slide. Surely it wasn't something to worry about. She was a pre-teen. Pre-teens brooded over absolutely everything and anything. Still, by the corner of his eye, he could see Sasuke peeking at her warily, as if she had somehow grow a second head while Naruto complained about their newest D-rank. When the young Uchiha realized he had been caught staring at his teammate, he glared at Kakashi and looked the other way.

Such cute students he had indeed.

The next day she remained the same, but then again not everybody got over their madness in one day, and Sakura seemed the resentful type, so he still didn't address it. However, he felt slightly put out when she started going over katas and stamina training while the boys sparred in the background.

The third day, however, was rather concerning. She showed up with dark ninja pants, long sleeved fingerless gloves that reached above her elbows and a white tank top. It contrasted greatly with her overall everyday appearance. Moreover, she was a bit ruffled, as if she had been exercising before their meeting. Also, her eyes held dark circles underneath. When he revealed himself, Sasuke was staring blankly at her and Naruto was being royally ignored on his many questions while she meditated.

By the time they made it to sparring, he could tell she was frustrated. Her chakra was unsteady, flickering like a blown bulb on its last hours. It spiked with fury everytime she failed to do a push up. Her teammates were also distressed, surely noticing her predicament. Still, the tension remained, but no one dared say anything nor break it.

Half an hour later, she fell face first to the floor because she caught her own hair under her palm. The boys stopped the pitiful spar abruptly —they weren't onto it anyways, too preoccupied stealing subtle glances to their teammate—. Kakashi was half a way from closing on her when she suddenly growled and stood up, nose bleeding, and took a kunai from her pouch.

"Saku—"

Then, she gripped furiously at the end of her long tresses and cut them clean with the knife, tossing the seemingly offending rest to the ground. Now, her long silky pink hair stood on irregular spikes just above her shoulders. Kakashi stood there, not saying anything, while Naruto's mouth fell open —speechless for once—. Sasuke just looked as if he had witnessed something freaky, eyes widened and everything.

She whipped her blood with the back of her fingerless gloves.

"Sakura-chan! What the heck?!"

Kakashi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder the instant he felt Sakura shake. Her breath started to go faster, as if she couldn't take enough air.

"I... I can't—"

Surprisingly, Sasuke was beside her. "Sakura. Listen to me." He places both of his hands on her shoulders, firmly but gently, and Kakashi can't help but stare, mildly astonished. "Breathe with me."

"I... I can't!"

"Yes, yes you can. Just focus only on me. Breathe."

And for once, Naruto is not saying anything, not fussing over her, probably understanding she needed to cling to every ounce of calmness. Instead, he settles for approaching her and rubbing her back, tracing the circle of the Haruno clan with his palm.

"I can't do it... I can't. It'll never be enough." She fisted her hands, stabbing her own skin with her nails until her knuckles went white.

"Enough for what, Sakura?"

"Shut up, dobe! Not now!" That effectively shut the blonde up. Sasuke's gaze shifted to her once more. "Sakura. Breathe with me. Just breathe."

Five minutes later and her breathing stabilized. They had sat her under a sturdy tree, fallen leaves and traces of the sun leaking between them every now and then.

"I'm too weak... I can't go on like this. I need to be stronger."

"You are doing fine, Sakura." This time it was Kakashi who talked, scared shitless of the way she was talking. It sounded too much like Sasuke to be healthy.

"No, I'm not!" She rubbed at her eyes. "I'm a failure to this team. I can't do anything right, I freeze up all the time, I'm not even worth a spar!" She pointed her finger to her teammates, tears still dropping down her cheeks. "One day, they're gonna get killed and I'll just— If I don't contribute I might be the reason if someday—"

"Enough." This time it is Sasuke. He looked positively furious; his nose scrunched up in a sneer. "If you want to be strong so bad, then train. Stop pitying yourself! You're being annoying."

"Oi! Teme!" Naruto shouted, ready to launch at and beat some sense into the young Uchiha. However, Kakashi stopped them in time, just before they got closed enough to cause a scene.

"Both of you. Knock it off. Now's not the time."

They glared at each other once more but Naruto turned to the pinkette, eyes softening. "Sakura-chan, you are already usef—"

"Don't lie, idiot!" Sasuke pushed him out of the way.

"HEY, YOU ASSH—"

"Yes, you are weak. And yes, you contribute little to the team now." He stated it seriously, meeting her glossy eyes up front while ignoring Naruto.

She averted her green orbs in shame.

"However... "

Sakura had heard that tone a couple of times before. She knew it all too well. That was how he talked when he was going to say something embarrassing, but necessary. That was the tone he used when he needed to be kind. The tone she dreamed of since she was a child.

He didn't say 'I love you', but she felt her heart ignite at his next words:

"That doesn't mean that you can't be in the future, though." He crossed his arms over his chest, closing his eyes, and Sakura could have sworn she saw a light blush contrasting against his fair skin. But the shadow of the tree made it difficult to tell, and she didn't want to assume, so she left it slide.

"Yeah, believe it! Our team is gonna be great in no time, Sakura-chan!" And just like that, she felt some tension leaving her guts. Naruto had that effect when he did wanted to be considerate. He looked childish and was loud, but there were moments like these when she did appreciate his positiveness. After all, she way too down-to-earth for her own good.

"Thank you, guys..." She smiled weakly at them. But it was a smile. "Really."

"Anytime, Sakura-chan." Kakashi ruffled her freshly cut hair, an eye smile peeking off his mask. "Just remember: one step at a time."

She was fine the morning afterwards, althought there had been some shift; that was for sure. Kakashi couldn't put a finger on it, but the changes were there. Her efforts were leading her to become proficient in gengutsu, and he tested her everyday on those while the other two sparred.

It was the first step on the right direction, and Sakura never forgot. She never forgot the words her older self had uttered. They were imprinted on her memory, marked by her will of fire like a sacred prayer:

"They're the reason I'm breathing, and they'll be the reason you wake up every morning. Then, because you take them for granted, you'll lose them. And that'll hunt you. Forever."

#naruto #team 7 #sakura haruno #sasuke uchiha #kakashi hatake #naruto uzumaki #fanfiction #angst with a happy ending #prompt #sasusaku

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bi-naesala · 3 years

Text

Little secret

Fandom: Yakuza

Rating: E

Warnings: /

Relationships: Nishikiyama Akira/Nishitani Homare Characters: Nishikiyama Akira, Nishitani Homare

Additional Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sugar Daddy Nishitani, Blow Jobs

Summary:

There are some secrets that are worth keeping, Nishiki thinks. After all, how could he even begin to explain that he’s got an Omi guy so obsessed with him that he’s willing to spoil and buy him anything he wants?

(Also on AO3)

(Fic under read more)

There are some secrets that are worth keeping, Nishiki thinks, even if this mean having to lie to Kiryu of all people.

How could he even begin to explain that he’s got an Omi guy so obsessed with him that he’s willing to spoil and buy him anything he wants? Yeah, that would be a disastrous conversation for sure, he knows that already.

It’s not even that he’s afraid of being judged, because Kiryu wouldn’t do that to anyone, but it’s just that he’s not sure that he wouldn’t tell anyone. Not that he’s a snitch, but he could try something out of worry, which would involve spilling the beans to Kashiwagi or worse, Kazama, and then things would truly be bad.

So, next time Kiryu asks him if he wants to go out with him for a drink, he lies and says that he already has a date for the night, which isn’t the true lie, but when Kiryu asks him who he’s taking out, he says that it’s a new hostess that has taken a shine on him, which couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Kiryu looks convinced at least - it helps that he’s pretty gullible - and leaves the subject alone, content to make Nishiki promise that, next time, they’ll be the ones hanging out together.

In a very weird way, Nishiki doesn’t find Sotenbori that dissimilar to Kamurocho: both are pretty shitty places with pretty shitty people.

The only difference is that here people tend to try to fuck with him more, since he doesn’t have the protection a Tojo clan pin can grant him - if he wore it here, it would do him more harm than good, so he never does - but that’s nothing that Nishiki can’t handle. Actually, it feels good to throw down once in a while, even though he’s never come to enjoy it as much as Kiryu does.

Right when he’s done throwing the last one of the ruffians who thought it would be a good idea to mess with him, he hears a low whistle behind him. He turns around immediately, raising his fists already to keep his head protected, when he notices the person leaning against the wall, watching him with a hungry gaze.

“Well, well, well, Akira-kun… So that’s what you’ve been doing. I thought you were standing me up…”

Standing him up? What does he mean?

A quick check on his expensive watch - a gift from Nishitani - is enough to make him understand: he’s late, and not just by a few minutes! Ops, this fight has taken longer than he thought it would.

“I’m so sorry, Nishitani-san!” he apologizes immediately, bowing his head. It’s the first time something like this happens, but this doesn’t make Nishiki feel better, especially considering that he might lose his support, which he has grown accustomed too. Sure, he could leave without Nishitani’s money, but he would be sad about it. He thinks about the brand new car Nishitani has promised him if he’s good; what if he doesn’t buy it to him anymore?

Luckily for him, though, Nishitani doesn’t look mad as he approaches him and gets his arm around Nishiki’s waist.

“Aw, don’t be,” he says, leaning close to Nishiki’s neck, who shivers as he feels his breath ghosting against his skin. “Besides, I’ve got to watch a veeery good fight.”

A small chuckle escapes Nishiki’s lips. “Is that so?” he asks, exposing his neck further for Nishitani.

He gasps when Nishitani wastes no time biting down, leaving what he knows is a visible mark - he’s always been fond of marking his territory - but he doesn’t oppose any resistance, though when Nishitani pushes him against the wall, he can’t help but to roll his eyes, although he has to fight to suppress a smile.

“Here? Really?” he asks, trying to sound as done as he can.

“Why not?” Nishitani asks, pressing his hips against Nishiki’s. God, he’s hard already. “Ya’ve got me all fired up, babe.”

Nishiki knows this is a bad idea: what if the thugs he’s just knocked out come to their senses? What if somebody else walks in?

Despite his better judgement, however, Nishiki doesn’t find himself that against the idea as he should be. Nishitani’s rubbing off of him.

He remembers Nishitani telling him that, deep down, they’re not that dissimilar, only that Nishiki still hasn’t realized it yet.

“It’s all in those eyes of yours. I can see what’s beyond them,” he said once, though Nishiki still doesn’t understand what he meant by that. He never thought he was hiding anything, though it is true that maybe he ain’t that good of a person, at least not like Kiryu is. Sweet Kiryu that has no problems beating up thugs, but then feels bad about scamming civilians, while Nishiki doesn’t. Maybe that’s just because someone like Kiryu shouldn’t be involved with the yakuza in the first place.

Nishitani can barely contain his excitement as Nishiki drops to his knees, that much is evident. Nishiki just hopes it’ll be worth it, and that he isn’t getting his pants dirty - how would he explain getting stains only on his knees?

“Yes, good boy,” he drawls, cupping Nishiki’s cheek with a hand as the other works on his belt, then he moves it to Nishiki’s hair, caressing it. “Ever told ya how much I love yer hair?”

Nishiki does a cheeky grin, slowly pulling down the zipper. “You have, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

“It’s so soft and pretty, I wanna pull it so much…”

He doesn’t even wait for Nishiki to say something before following on his words, forcing Nishiki to look up at him. It’s almost overwhelming to look at the adoration in Nishitani’s eyes, but Nishiki has gone so long without affection from the people he wanted it from that he’s drawn to it like a moth to a light; it’s what made him decide in favor of doing this whole thing in the first place.

“Yer so beautiful… I swear I’ll eat ya up someday.”

Despite his best effort not to - because it’ll make him appear easy and that’s not the impression Nishiki wants to give - he groans at those words, but before he can embarrass himself further, he gets to work.

From the way he moans, Nishitani must be most pleased with how fast Nishiki pulls his cock out of his briefs, and especially on how fast he begins peppering it with kisses, travelling from base to tip, swirling then his tongue around it, eyes going up again to meet his gaze.

Nishitani’s so into it already, which makes Nishiki smirk. He can’t help it, he loves feeling this needed, this appreciated.

“Pretty boy…”

Knowing that Nishitani isn’t going to last long - he never does, but damn somehow he manages to always get it back up almost immediately - Nishiki decides to stop teasing, parting his lips and beginning to take his cock in his mouth.

He barely goes halfway that Nishitani, impatient already, thrusts his hips all the way, making Nishiki almost gag, but he manages to hold back, grabbing onto Nishitani thighs as he begins to fuck his mouth, relaxing his throat as much as he can to make things easier for himself.

It’s always like this with Nishitani, and yet Nishiki would lie if he said that he’s not all for it. As much as he likes the attention and being wanted, there’s something else inside him that gets him all hot at the thought of being used, just like Nishitani is doing.

In a way, they are using each other: Nishitani is using him for sex, while Nishiki is using him for his money, although things have evolved past that point. Nishiki can safely say that what he feels for Nishitani is a deep affection, and there’s no way he could mistake the adoration Nishitani feels for him for anything else. It feels quite weird having gotten to this point, but it also feels good, so neither of them worries much about it.

Nishitani’s close, Nishiki can hear it from the way his breathing is getting ragged, and by the way he begins praising Nishiki and how good he is - he always gets talkative when he’s about to come.

“So good, baby, so good… I should steal ya away and keep ya all to myself… My own pretty cocksucker…”

The more Nishitani keeps going, the more Nishiki feels himself getting hard in his pants, but he knows better than to try and do something about it. Not that Nishitani would be against him touching himself but, as he said once, he wants to be able to enjoy the show, but given their position he wouldn’t be able to do that well, so Nishiki tries his best to focus only on Nishitani’s pleasure and not his, knowing that, in the end, it’ll be worth it.

When Nishitani comes, Nishiki swallows everything; he’s always been greedy.

He pulls away from the other’s spent cock, finally catching his breath but still making no move to get up, licking his lips instead, observing Nishitani and his reaction; that simple gesture is enough to get him fired up again, but if they go for round two here, they’ll surely attract some unwanted attention. Besides, they have something very important to be.

Nishitani cups Nishiki’s chin, catching the remainder of saliva at the corner of his mouth. “Such a good boy for me, Akira-kun~ You deserve a reward.”

At those words, Nishiki’s lips perk up in a smile. Yes, he has been good, hasn’t he? He certainly deserves a reward!

He doesn’t bother hiding how excited he is at the news as he gets up and begins asking: “What is it?”

Nishitani chuckles, finding Nishiki’s whole change of demeanor endearing.

“Why don’t ya walk with me a bit?” he asks, after tucking his now flaccid dick back in his pants. When Nishiki nods, he turns around, signaling Nishiki with his head to follow him. What he wants to show him isn’t that far from where they are; actually, they just have to get back to the main road before…

A gasp leaves Nishiki’s lips as soon as he sees it.

“N… Nishitani-san!”

Nishitani laughs as Nishiki steps towards the car that has been parked right in front of where they are and not only that, but he also goes circles around it, examining it in every detail.

He did mention to Nishitani that he wanted a new car, something better than the one he has now, old and shitty - but Nishiki still loves his baby nonetheless - and Nishitani had told him that, if he was good, he’d get him one, something that would make everybody else envious, sure, but Nishiki didn’t think he would give it to him already!

Wait, what if he’s jumping to conclusions? For all he knows, this is Nishitani’s new car, not a gift for him.

He turns to Nishitani. “Is this truly mine?”

“It sure is!” Nishitani exclaims, throwing the keys at Nishiki. “How about taking it for a drive, huh?”

Nishiki almost lets the keys fall for the excitement, but they’re still secured in his hands as he nods. “Yes, please! Thank you so much!”

He doesn’t even wait for Nishitani to follow as he gets in the driver seat, though he doesn’t turn the car on until Nishitani’s inside as well.

“Where to?” he asks.

“Wherever you want!” Nishitani replies, ready to enjoy a nice ride.

At those words, Nishiki’s smile grows larger. He has a new baby, and he can take her to whenever he wants to? Oh, this is truly the best!

He turns on the car and begins to drive around Sotenbori.

Oh, this car is so much better than his old one, much easier to drive around the way he wants to. The seats are also very comfy, which he can’t say about his old baby.

He turns to Nishitani, then figuring that it’s a bad idea, he goes back to look at the road - the last thing he needs now is to run over someone because he wasn’t paying attention. Still, the fact that he can’t see him doesn’t mean that he can’t talk to him.

“Nishitani-san, thank you. I mean it.”

He feels a hand creeping up his thigh, squeezing it - and thankfully doesn’t do anything more. He can’t see him, but he knows that Nishitani’s grinning ear to ear - he’s seen that expression on him countless times.

Eventually he’ll have to get back to Kamurocho, but the knowledge that he’ll do it with his new shiny car fills him with a sense of smugness that he’s been feeling more and more since meeting Nishitani.

He’ll have to find a plausible explanation as to how he’s gotten a new car so suddenly, but that’ll be a problem for future Nishiki, because now he only wants to enjoy the ride with Nishitani, and that’s exactly what he’ll do, screw everything else.

#i wrote this for the rarepair exchange on twitter #yakuza #akira nishikiyama #homare nishitani #nishinishi #i saw some people use this for their ship name #rgg #y0 #my fics #mine #spicy

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super-secret-sick-fics · 3 years

Note

hii you said that requests were open so i was wondering if you’d want to write an iwaoi sick fic? like it’s a middle of a practice match agaisnt some school and oikawa feels sick but doesn’t tell anyone beforehand?

Hello and thank you for the request!! I hope this is kinda what you wanted. I tried :) sorry it took me a minute!

An Off Day: an IwaOi Sick fic

Pairing: Sick Oikawa, Caretaker Iwaizumi

Words: ? (I didn’t get a count sorry—longer though)

Warnings: fever, passing out, cursing

————————

It was a dull day.

Oikawa sat in class, his head resting on his palm, and everything just felt faded. Existing as a human today seemed like entirely too much work.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but his entire day, his surroundings, his overall demeanor— none of them were as vivid and bright as usual. Things were just...off.

He felt off.

A lethargic and overall blah feeling clung to him like a thick winter coat, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe and leaving his head muddled. He didn’t know what was going on with his body and it was incredibly frustrating.

Oikawa scoffed to himself, ignoring the curious side eye from the girl next to him, and resolutely decided to ignore the dull, blah feeling. Surely if he willed himself to feel less blah, then that would put the pep back in his step. Besides, this was his last class of the day and then it was time for practice.

They were playing some no-name, no-skill team in what Oikawa deemed a “charity” practice match. For the other team, it would be a learning experience. For Seijoh, it would be another victory to add to their running total.

Class finally ended and he stood up to head to the club room. Immediately, his knees buckled and black spots danced in his vision. A small hand grasped his upper arm and held him steady. Once the spots cleared, he saw the small girl who sits next to him looking up at him, concern etched into her face.

“Oikawa-san? You look pale. You should go home and rest. I’m sure they’ll be okay without you at practice today.” He shook his head.

“I just got up too fast. Thank you for helping me out,” he smiled and she hesitantly let his arm go. She nodded, grabbed her bag, and left the classroom.

Oikawa, much to his dismay, was still dizzy though. He placed his hands on his desk and ducked his head, squeezing his eyes shut while he waited for it to pass.

In the club room, he met up with Iwaizumi and chatted with his other teammates here and there, resolutely ignoring the fatigue thay plagued him.

Warm-ups came and went and their coach went over the rotation for the practice match. All the while, the lethargy he felt never went away like he thought it would. In fact, it seemed to be increasing and there was now a dull, consistent thudding in his head. Maybe it was more than just an off day? Maybe something was wrong?

He didn’t get much time to explore the new thoughts, because the other team arrived and their practice match began. Oikawa was right; the other team wasn’t a challenge in the slightest. The fact that it was any easy game didn’t make him feel any better about his complete lack of game.

Nearly every single one of his sets was wrong. Too high or too low. Too far left or right. The ball wasn’t settling in his fingers the way he needed it too and it all irritated him to no end.

He couldn’t concentrate. Every now and then, the court tilted dangerously sideways and he had to consciously ground his feet to bring it back to equilibrium. He was starting to feel weak. His limbs weighed about 1,000 lbs, making every lift of his arms to set the ball or movement of his legs to cross the court a Herculean effort. All he wanted was to curl up on the ground and take a nap.

“Hey, you okay?” Matsu walked up to him during a break between serves and put a hand on his shoulder. He was frowning. Oikawa glowered at him.

Was he okay? No. Of course not. He was 98% sure that he had a fever. Would that stop him from playing? No. Of course not. This was an easy team to beat. If he couldn’t push through this, then he wasn’t worth anything to his team.

“Yeah. Fine.” He snapped. Matsuhana put his hands up and backed away. Play resumed.

It was just a cold. He could shake this feeling if he just pushed through it hard enough. If Oikawa was confident of anything, it was his ability to ignore negative feelings and punch through bad moods.

That confidence slowly drained out of Oikawa along with any energy and focus he may have had the longer the game continued.

The two teams switched sides of the court and Iwaizumi appeared at his side.

“Hey, what’s the deal? You okay? We should have taken this set a long time ago,” he grumbled, his usual grumpy tone setting all of Oikawa’s already frazzled nerves even more on edge. His lip curled as he glanced over at his best friend.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan, I didn’t realize,” he sneered. Iwa’s eyes widened and he blinked comically. Oikawa would have made a joke if he wasn’t feeling so shitty.

“Don’t take it out on me, Trashykawa,” Iwa’s eyes narrowed, “your sets have been off all match.”

Oikawa felt like he was slapped in the face because he knew that. Of course he was more than aware that not a single one of his sets hit their mark yet. It was eating away at him and it made his stomach churn. He could do this though. He would not let his team down.

“I know,” he muttered. Iwa’s face changed again, but Oikawa’s vision blurred and he couldn’t make out what expression the ace had. He walked away.

“Oi, come back here a seco—“ Iwa started but was cut off by their coach.

“Iwaizumi! You gonna stand around and talk all day or are you gonna let us resume the match?”

He glanced one more time at Oikawa before getting into position. Oikawa thought maybe he looked concerned or upset or something, but he honestly didn’t have the energy to figure it out. It was all he could do to stand up right.

The set continued and each passing second was an eternity to Oikawa. Black spots popped up more frequently and he had to squeeze his eyes shut quickly and exhale to keep himself from passing out. It was a losing battle.

The dull thud in his head grew into a steady pounding that took up residence behind his eyes, leaving him vaguely nauseated. It was getting harder to breathe, even though he wasn’t running around like he normally would be. The gym swirled and he blinked several times, but it wasn’t going back to normal. The sounds of shouting and squeaking shoes faded away, replaced by a strange roaring sound.

Oikawa realized very quickly that he was in serious trouble.

“Oikawa!” Wataru’s shout cut through the roaring and sent a sharp pain through his head. As quickly as it left, the roaring in his ears returned and with it, his vision completely blacked out. It took all his effort to call out for help.

“Iwa-cha—“ the sound got caught in his throat and his body crumpled to the floor.

The next thing he knew, Oikawa was staring at the ceiling. He blinked a few times and groaned. The lights beaming down on him reminded him of the migraine he definitely had and he shivered. Why was he on the ground?

“Tooru? Oh thank god,” Iwa’s face entered his field of vision (and blocked the light, thankfully). His voice was shaking and desperate, adding to Oikawa’s confusion.

“Iwa-chan?” He said feebly.

“Are you okay? What hurts? Fuck, Tooru. You scared the shit out of me,” Iwaizumi was frantic, his hands cupping Oikawa’s face, making the sick boy cringe. Touching was no good. He didn’t want that right now.

The corners of Iwaizumi’s mouth pulled down and his eyebrows scrunched. He moved one of his hand’s to Oikawa’s forehead and the other to his own. His eyes blew wide.

“Holy shit, Tooru! Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick, dumbass?”

Oh. He’d been caught.

“Would you believe me if I told you I didn’t know?” He smiled weakly up at his best friend, who scoffed in return.

“Idiot,” he mumbled before turning his head towards somewhere above Oikawa. The lights pierced Oikawa’s vision and he moaned when his head pulsated. He tried to curl up, but Iwaizumi was already trying to get him standing.

“Coach, he’s got a fever,” Iwaizumi shouted across the gym and Oikawa’s knees buckled. Luckily, Iwa’s arms were securely around his waist.

“I’m gonna take him to the club room and call one of our moms to come pick us up. Do you need me here?”

“No, go take care of our idiot captain,” their coach responded, his arms crossed over his chest. Normally, Oikawa would’ve squaked at the insult, but it was taking all of his attention to stay awake.

“We got this man. Go handle the child,” Makki snickered.

“Mean, Makki,” Oikawa managed to whine as he and Iwa stumbled out of the gym.

By the time they got back to the club room, Oikawa was sweating profusely, panting, and leaning almost all of his weight on Iwaizumi.

Iwa led them to the back of the clubroom and guided them down to sit against the wall. Oikawa shivered and immediately curled into Iwa’s side.

“How the hell did you let it get so bad, Shittykawa,” Iwa questioned. His tone held more concern than malice and it settled Oikawa’s nerves ever so slightly.

“Mmm, so warm Iwa-chan,” was all Oikawa could respond with. Iwaizumi scoffed, but threw an arm around Oikawa’s shoulder and pulled him closer anyway. The setter smiled.

“Yo, who should I call?” Iwaizumi asked, his tone still lacking its normal gruffness.

“Everyone in my family is working right now, Iwa-chan. No one is going to pick up,” Oikawa said. His throat was getting sore now. That means he’s sick sick. He frowned. Another shiver shot up his spine.

Iwa sighed, “okay. I’ll call my mom. She won’t be able to get here for at least half an hour though. Will you be okay until then? We can take the bus if you want.”

Oikawa nuzzled into Iwa’s shoulder. The smallest hints of his cologne were still present, despite getting sweaty from practice.

“No. No bus. We’ll want for Auntie, if that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll call her.”

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa yawned. His eyes started drifting closed. Man, did a nap sound perfect right now.

“Don’t apologize, Tooru. Just scared me,” Iwa muttered and Oikawa felt the ace’s nose nuzzle into the top of his head. He relaxed further, in spite of the chills running through his body.

“Get some rest. I’ll wake you when my mom gets here,” Iwa whispered and Oikawa couldn’t remember the last time he sounded so soft. At least towards him anyway. Iwaizumi pulled Oikawa down gently so the setter’s head was pillowed on his lap.

Oikawa fell asleep to Iwaizumi’s gentle hands carding through his hair.

#iwaoi #sick oikawa #fever #fainting #haikyuu sickfic #caretaker Iwaizumi #my fic

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mostlymobilegames · 3 years

Text

I will win.

warnings: younger!Fencio, mentions of pain?? I think that's about it

summary: Unclaimed!Rebecca being herself

author's note: i get nostalgic about Rebecca every time I enter the app, this is just some ??backstory?? idk, i just missed her and I forced myself to not let this idea marinate in my notes for 29 years

•

My legs burn as I land on the ground violently again. Dust and rocks fly in every direction as I try to calm down.

Everything hurts. My back aches while my wings feel too heavy for it, my eyes are watery, my throat is unbelievably dry, my legs feel like they won’t keep me up for much longer and if I wasn’t so tired I might be bothered by the sweat making my clothes stick to my body. Almost there.

As I prepare to take off once again, something moves in my line of sight, but the wall of dust makes it impossible to see. Not that I need to, I feel him before I even hear his footsteps approaching. I take off immediately, every part of my body hurting in protest, my wings flapping with powerful moves despite the pain as I soar up and for a second I almost enjoy the brief sense of peace. I plunge back to the ground at full speed, my legs nearly giving out as I land once again. Fencio moves his hand leisurely, a strand of long, white hair along with it on accident, and the dust in the air vanishes as I try to compose myself. So much pain.

“Rebecca” he says in greeting, his voice distant but not hostile or arrogant.

“Throne Fencio.”

My voice comes out sharply as I struggle to control my breathing. My legs feel wobbly and I know I look completely unpleasant. I worry about embarrassing myself but Fencio doesn’t seem even a little put off by my current demeanor, although that’s not surprising. After knowing him for a short time, I figured he is not easy to read at all, which I find annoying, given that he usually has such a good read on me. He is either a good actor or there’s nothing worth his reactions. Or maybe I’m not good enough at picking him apart.

“Tomorrow is an important day for you.” So this is why he came.

After that… incident with my first assignment, Fencio kept true to his word. He followed my progress attentively, helped me with my studies and my training, teaching me how to manage without him or anyone and interfering only when necessary. His help never came with the condescension I often got from other immortals, even the low ranked ones, my fellow students, and I always felt the need to prove myself to him because of that. And then to prove myself to anyone who challenges me, but I am not there yet.

“I know.” I say confidently as I can feel my body healing itself slowly. It’s not much but I would be nothing without it, and I know that by tomorrow I’ll be fully recovered.

Fencio says nothing for a moment and I feel uneasy. Something sparkles in his eyes and his lips twitch, which is something he does rarely, but I always notice, and I never know what it means. It’s all gone in an instant and he’s back to his neutral expression, as usual.

“I have no doubt that you’ll kill the Serpent and that it will improve your reputation greatly” he pauses and I feel something inside me stir. Does he actually think I’ll fail and he’s just being nice?

The thought of Fencio seeing me as a disappointment makes me angry, but I know that can’t be true. He noticed my potential, my drive from the beginning and took me under his wing. I worked and I work hard for everything, but I know I would have never gotten this far, this quick without him. Some days I feel like he sees me like his part-time project, someone to mold into a better immortal because he decided it’s his responsibility. Other days I can consider him my confidant, since calling him a friend seems out of line, but Fencio has done nothing to betray my trust. Most days however, he is, without a doubt, my mentor, and now I feel ashamed for questioning his intentions, even if his attitude is making me wary.

“I won’t be able to attend the competition due to some personal matters, but I’ll seek you out afterwards as soon as I can.” he says and I feel immediate relief. I was worrying for nothing.

“Of course.” I respond and he shifts as if to signify he wants to leave.

“I’ll let you finish your workout. Don’t stay up too late. Rest well and… good luck.”

I nod and scoff internally, he says nothing more but makes no move to leave.

Suit yourself then. I turn around and walk a few steps away from him so I can properly spread my wings, and take off, glad that the pain still lingers but is much more bearable. I swear I can feel his eyes on me as I ascend, but when I turn around to drop down he isn't there, and I can’t contain my grin any longer.

Good luck? I don’t need luck.

…

I open the window wide as the cold breeze of the night sweeps into my room.

After I finished training and took a well-deserved shower, I went to bed. Even though I wanted to sleep until the morning, my body apparently had other plans and I woke up a few hours later, feeling refreshed and infinitely grateful for my immortal powers and my fast recovering body.

I realize immediately I’m alone in my dorm room. It’s pretty late and dark outside, which means my roommate is out doing something I’d rather not know about, since I doubt she’s training this late. She better not bring back any issues with her, I have enough on my plate.

I take a deep breath of fresh air and let it soothe my worries and clear my head. Everything is fine. Cliffs and bits of land levitate in the horizon, poorly illuminated by the moon and the glowing insects of different sizes hanging around them. A giggle is heard somewhere below me but it stops almost instantly, returning the night to its comforting silence. Something moves in the distance, seemingly coming up from behind a tree. I can’t make out who it is, but I am sure the figure is facing me and I recognize the blood red colored wings in a second. They flap lazily in that inviting gesture I’m way too familiar with. There are no demands made, no expectations or formalities to deal with, just the chance to spend some time with him, and I know I have no obligation to accept or respond.

Still, I wait, unmoving. It’s late and the chances of us getting caught together are small, there is no one out there. But what if someone follows me? There are too many immortals that don’t like me and it’s not exactly like I try to make friends. A part of me doesn’t think any of them would go to the extent of actively trying to ruin me, but it’s better to never underestimate the hatred one can build up for someone else. For someone better.

I don’t get to think more about it since he takes my lack of reaction as a refusal and flies back behind the same tree. I should take his leave as a blessing and go to bed, or do something else, but I don’t. I think about what would happen if I got caught, all of my efforts going to waste for the most stupid reason. I think about how everyone who ever doubted me would be right and I’d never get to prove them wrong, and how I could lose everything in the blink of an eye like back on Earth.

I climb the out the window with newfound strength, as I concentrate on my surroundings. There’s no one after me. I spread my wings and jump, hoping no one is staying by the window to witness an Unclaimed breaking curfew. Thankfully, I get there quickly and quietly, and I’m surprised to see Winchesto sitting down, his back against a thick tree trunk. I was sure he left and I would’ve had to find him.

He turns his head towards me and grins, his face full of happiness. Seeing him so glad to see me hurts.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” he says but there isn’t a hint of anything negative in his tone, as if he wouldn’t have blamed me for not following him. I know he wouldn’t have.

I say nothing as I slide down next to him, so close that our sides touch. The contact is small and delicate, barely there, but it feels like a battle is starting inside me. I turn to look at him as he does the same, our faces so close I can’t tell if my breathing is so loud or his. Winchesto’s eyes are gentle and there’s something so peaceful behind them, something that makes it so easy to relax. This could end us both. I tense up as my thoughts go in the wrong direction again. He notices and, as if reading my mind, he backs away a little and I feel awful, even though I know it’s for the best. For both of us.

“I’ll cheer for you tomorrow.” he breaks the silence, like I didn’t just reject him indirectly moments ago.

I laugh, but it sounds forced even to my own ears.

“That would raise some eyebrows.” I say half jokingly, half concerned and Winchesto shrugs, as if nothing could ever get him in trouble.

“Angels and demons get excited for this too, even if they don’t participate. If you think about it, they probably enjoy it more than their usual competitions, because they get the entertainment without the repercussions of losing. Many of them pick their favorites among the Unclaimed so they can place bets on them or just make a big deal out of whoever wins and gloat.”

“Did you bet on me?” I ask genuinely curious but Winchesto ignores my question.

“My point is: no one will care if I cheer for you, they’ll all be busy cheering too... or booing.”

I laugh honestly as he smiles sweetly, the tension from before long forgotten. We sit in silence after that, looking every now and then at each other, and neither of us seems to mind it. Neither of us feels like the silence is painful and that it needs to be disrupted and I realize, in that moment, that Winchesto is so dear to me, that I trust him so much, that I want to be around him and share everything with him, knowing he’d never use anything against me. I want to tell him about my worries, about my goals, about my pain and my life from before, about how I’ll achieve everything I’ve ever wanted and how I’ll be at the top. For a second, I even want to tell him about how I scouted the path to the Serpent and memorized every detail, or how I’ve hidden weapons along the way into the secluded spots I found in case I run out of energy.

But I don’t. I don’t tell him anything, and the part of me that’s been trying to keep me at bay, the part that I’ve cultivated so carefully knows I am doing what’s right. For both of us. It’s safe for Winchesto to not know what could hurt him, even if he’d like to know as much as I’d like to tell.

It’s late.

I stand up abruptly, dusting myself off while he continues to sit, looking at me calmly. I start walking away, knowing how it looks and hoping he doesn’t feel the hurt as much as me. I don’t want to leave like this, but I feel lost and I don’t know how to deal with it.

“Good night, Rebecca.” he whispers loud enough for me to hear it.

I let out a breath I haven’t realized I’ve been holding on and turn my head to look at him. He’s still sitting comfortably, looking unfazed and I’m glad. I’m glad it’s not that bad for him, or maybe he just takes it better than me.

“You should bet on me tomorrow. I will win.” is the only thing I say to him before taking off, leaving him there and not looking back.

#also sorry for any mistakes #i finished this on like 4 hours of sleep😴#romance club #heaven's secret #fanfic #my writing

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frostedfaves · 4 years

Text

HalloVeen

Pairing: Jake Peralta x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N’s first time winning the heist

Word Count:: 1.3k

Warnings: none

"Tonight is the night for the Halloween HEIST!!!"

I just rolled my eyes, a giggle slipping out as I watched Jake at the front of the briefing room. It was Halloween again, and all the past winners (Jake, Holt, Amy and Gina) were standing in front of the rest of us (Terry, Charles, Rosa and me--Hitchcock and Scully already tucked away in their nap room for the day), ready to explain the rules.

"This year, the past winners are going to partner up with the rest of you. To make it fair, we're going to draw your names out of this hat." Amy held up a black top hat and placed it on the podium, watching as Gina picked up a pile of folded slips of paper and dropped them in. "Alright, who wants to go first?"

"Me, duh." Gina closed her eyes and reached in, and we all watched as she read the paper before shooting a smirk at Terry. "Oh Terrence, I always knew we'd make a great team," she commented, letting out tiny signature Gina Linetti giggles as she skipped over to him.

Amy being the closest, went next. "Charles!" She smiled as she went over to him, immediately pulling him to his feet by his shirt collar when she was within reach. "If we lose today, I'm coming after Nikolaj."

"Actually it's Nikolaj," he whimpered as she let him go and he crashed back into his seat.

Jake and Holt made eye contact and dashed for the hat, Jake arriving first and closing his eyes just before reaching in. "Aha! Prepare to lose, everyone, because I just picked my favorite girl! Rosa, you're coming with me!" He noticed everyone looking at him strangely and laughed. "You're all definitely gonna lose if you fell for that one. Come on, Y/N! We've got work to do."

I was looking over the extremely detailed map Jake laid out on the table in front of me as he explained it to me, but I found myself looking over at him when I realized he'd stopped talking and was simply looking at me. Despite my best efforts to fight it, my face started to feel warm from the attention he gave.

"What is it?" I asked, mirroring his smile that started to form while erasing his signature focused-on-the-heist look.

"Nothing, I just..." He shook his head with a little laugh. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what, babe?"

"You're always here when I need you--whether I realize I do or not-- for good and bad moments. Always going along with my crazy plans. I especially appreciate your help with the heist, even though the thought of deceiving your friends in any way makes you panic sweat."

I laughed a little as I placed my hand on top of his. "I'd do anything for you."

His eyes seemed to brighten at this, and the sight truly warmed me from the inside out. "I love you so much." He grinned, leaning in to drop a quick peck on my lips.

"Aw, you guys," came from the other side of the room, causing us to jump apart.

"Jesus Christ, I forgot we came in here with Bill."

I watched as Jake cockily opened the safe with his "correct" key, faking shock along with him and everyone else as we discovered it was empty.

"Wait a minute. I put a GPS tracker in the cumberbund--"

"Belt."

"Come on, they'll never catch us on my bike." Within seconds, Rosa had helmets for her and Holt as they sprinted out of the bullpen.

"You don't think Terry can outrun a bike?!"

We all ran out to grab various methods of transportation, Jake pulling me back and covering my mouth to keep me from laughing as we waited until the shouts of our colleagues were further in the distance. We then turned around and walked back over to the bullpen.

"Alright, where'd you hide it?" I turned to Jake, noticing him fiddling with his cuffed sleeve in a way he only does when he's nervous about something. "Hey, you okay?"

"What?" He saw my eyes flicker to his hand on his shirt and quickly dropped both arms, brushing it off with a laugh. "Oh yeah, sorry. Just thought I heard someone coming back. It's in the file cabinet behind Gina's desk."

I jogged over to it, frowning when all I found in the drawers were files that honestly hadn't been touched in so long that they were starting to get dusty. "Babe, I don't think it's in...here."

I'd turned back around to find Jake in the middle of the bullpen kneeling on the floor with a tiny box in his hand. My eyes started to fill before they could even try to focus on the actual details of the ring, but none of it mattered when he began to speak.

"This is honestly the scariest thing I've ever done, so bear with me if I mess up this speech." A nervous chuckle fell from his lips as his own eyes began to water, and my heart threatened to burst right out of my chest.

"I love you. I love everything about you; the way you look, speak, feel. I love waking up just before you, sometimes choking on your hair that found its way into my mouth and nose at some point during the night. I love how many times you sat through Die Hard marathons just because you knew it would make me happy, or woke up early to make chocolate chip pancakes before work to help my day start off better than the previous one, despite not being a morning person."

"Chocolate is the most important meal of the day." I giggled and he grinned.

"I also love surprising you. You're the most intelligent woman and best detective I've ever met, so trying to get anything past you is next to impossible, especially because you're my best friend and I always want to tell you everything. But when I finally do pull it off and you get that look on your face, that smile that shines brighter than the sun, it makes it all worth it. You make everything worth it.

"I know we haven't really talked about marriage before, and if you do say no to this, I wouldn't blame you. But I would also really love it if you wanted to spend the rest of forever with me, because I'm ready to spend it with you. So Y/N L/N, will you marry me?"

My throat seemed to be closing up with the threat of oncoming tears, but I held it together long enough to say. "Jake Peralta, of course I'll marry you."

I grinned as he got up with a sigh of relief, quickly sliding the ring on my finger before I grabbed his open flannel by the button area and pulled him in for a kiss. Pulling away and looking into his eyes brought a laugh-sob mix from the back of my throat, and I quickly hid my face in his shoulder.

"Sorry I'm getting your shirt wet. I'm just really happy."

He tightened his arms around my lower back, leaving a couple kisses on the side of my head before leaning his own against mine.

"Calling you my wife means more to me than your leaky eye sockets."

I laughed and hugged him impossibly tighter before pulling away fully to look him in the eyes.

"By the way, I know the cumberbund is actually in the evidence locker."

"...belt?"

#queue #b99 fic #b99 imagine #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn nine nine imagine #jake peralta imagine #jake peralta x fem!reader #jake peralta x reader #jake peralta

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memoriashell · 3 years

Text

the luck of the draw ( surely is not in her favor )

Characters / Pairing: Fukawa Touko / Naegi Komaru ( focused ), ft. ( some of ) Class 78

crossposted on ao3

Notes: day two of @tokomaruweek, i'm combining the killing game and talentswap prompts!! it’s still before midnight i’m totally not late at all here,

featuring my totally not original talent / roleswap luck student komaru au. because creativity is dead and i think komaru being stuck in a killing game is ??? when you think about the fact that komaru canonically sees ghosts. you KNOW she ends up possessed by one of the dead students in the last trial bc someone wants to say fuck you to the mastermind :/ also the fact that syo remembers shit but just never says anything feels like great potential!! they just want to love their partner but toko won’t let them front this is homphobia /j

anyways this au just lives in my wips rent free bc i keep changing my mind on how i want things to play out anyways. so this is more of a concept and not canon to that au if i ever finish it and that's also why this takes place in ch1 so i don't gotta think too hard on the details <3 any talents brought up are the ones i'm for sure sticking with.

tws for touko's general paranoia / anxiety / etc, mentions of murder bc kg au, and also since i usually depict syo as nonbinary with they/them pronouns, komaru’s technically accidentally misgendering them from her pov bc she doesn’t/can’t tell that syo is fronting, in case that bothers you!!

Summary: for being chosen on the basis of luck, it doesn't feel like she's ever going to catch a break here.

It’s quiet, this morning.

Not that she really knows any better— they’ve only been trapped in the school with the murder bear for a few days, after all. So maybe Komaru’s focusing on the wrong part.

It’s less that it’s quiet, there’s a few faces missing that she’d have expected to get there before her. Especially since she’d managed to sleep through her alarm again and had been kind of late; she had fully expected to be greeted with a lecture as soon as she’d gotten to the dining hall. Alright, one person specifically that stands out in her mind, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed by her that Fukawa’s not there yet. Weird, given the moral compass had lectured her for being tardy to meet up with everyone on their first day, and then for sleeping in the first morning, but...given the videos that bear had shown them the previous day, she supposes she can’t blame some people to feel reluctant to show up. Maybe that’s where she is? Going around to check on people? She had seemed a little paranoid that people were skipping out on gathering in the morning on purpose...

( Because she really, really doesn’t want to think about the possibility that Fukawa, or any of her other classmates might possibly be dead. That someone would have actually gone through with trying to kill one another? So she simply won’t think about that fact. It feels kind of like a Pavlovian...no, wait, that’s the wrong person. Uh. Freudian theory? Ah! Schrödinger’s cat. Yeah, that kind of scenario )

Okay, that settles it! She should probably have breakfast first, and if Fukawa hasn’t shown up by the time she finishes, she’ll go see if she can find her. Besides, she’s sure they aren’t the only ones who are concerned about the ones that haven’t shown up. Maizono seemed super nice ( unsurprisingly ), so maybe if she’s still hanging out in the dining hall, Komaru can convince her to help her in her search! Now that she thinks about it, she can probably ask anyone that comes by the dining hall for any leads.

...But why does she care so much in the first place? It’s not like she doesn’t care about the others: even the ones already dead— she can’t place why exactly she feels attached to people she barely knew, but she’s always been pretty sentimental. Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the way Fukawa seems to try so hard to be close to people in one moment, and then so distant in the next.

In any case, standing in front of the fridge and spacing out is probably far from a good idea, besides the obvious fact that she’s in the way— she doesn’t even notice that someone has decided to take advantage of her distracted state to pull the wool over her eyes. Er, the hoodie of her jacket, technically.

She’s hardly gotten a chance to push the hood back before a hand comes down on her head to ruffle her hair. Or, well, she presumes that is his intention, even if the gesture comes off as more of a light noogie. She puffs her cheeks out in a pout, glaring up while the other smirks down at her. “‘Sup, squirt? Falling asleep on yer feet, or is there another reason yer zoning out in the middle of the kitchen?” The baseball star tosses an apple in his hand like one would with a ball, and she considers lightly kicking Oowada’s ankles in retaliation.

“Just thinking. You probably shouldn’t play with your food like that though.” She responds, and he makes a face at her.

“Ah, so ya do still got something still rattlin’ in that tiny head of yours, good. Worried I knocked everything outta ya.” He teases, reaching past her to open the fridge door. “An’ why would you do that to yerself? It’s still too early in the mornin’ fer that shit.”

“Well...I’m just a little worried. There are fewer people hanging out in the dining hall this morning.” She admits.

He scowls. “Pretty sure they’re just antsy ‘cause of that damn bear ‘nd if any of them have a lick of sense in ‘em they’ll be busy looking fer a way out or somethin’. Don’t worry yer pretty lil’ head about it.”

“...Yeah, I guess.” She can’t help but worry, but her concern isn’t exactly going to help right now, at any rate. Maybe she’ll just find something that she can take with her to eat. “Oh! But speaking of that, did you happen to see Fukawa-san on your way here? I would’ve thought she would have stayed around here this morning, honestly.”

“Her? Mm, yeah, heard her and Ishimaru goin’ at it in the halls earlier—”

“They were what?” Before he can finish his sentence, Asahina’s voice cuts in from behind her, pitch breaking midspeech.

“Fighin’! They were jus’ yelling at each other! N...Not anything weird!” Oowada backtracks in a panic when he realizes how poorly his wording could be misconstrued, even if such a thought never occurred to her. “Jeeze, ya think the Public Morals chick would engage in that shit? Not that I don’t think she might be a bit hypocritical with her rules ‘nd shit but—”

“No! No, I don’t! That’s why I was asking!” Asahina retorts with a huff, and while they bicker, Komaru takes this as an opportunity to slink out of the kitchen with a slice of toast. Unfortunately, Maizono seems to have left in that span of time, but the Clairvoyant happens to be sitting alone, so she figures she might see if she has anything interesting to contribute.

Enoshima opens an eye to stare at her upon hearing her footsteps, presumably, and before Komaru can even greet her, she speaks, monotone. “Four.”

Whatever question you’d planned to say dies in your throat, instead sputtering out a bewildered, “H-Huh?”

“It’s your lucky number for the day.” She sounds bored, as if she’d been stating the obvious, instead of some cryptic statement.

“...Isn’t that the number of death?” She is less certain of herself than she wants to be, ignoring the shiver that runs down her back upon realizing this.

Enoshima grins at that, for reasons she doesn’t understand; cheery voice a total 180 from what it’d been moments ago. “Well, perhaps it means you’ll be having a meeting with death today? Probably about time someone kicked the bucket, someone was bound to snap sooner or later... I’m sure your luck will kick in though, right? But I’ll wish you good luck anyways!”

“Thank you...?” Is that the appropriate response here? She’s not sure, but it’s probably not worth lingering on any longer than she already has, and decides with a rising urgency that maybe she should find Fukawa.

Although, recounting the conversation in the kitchen, she wonders if she should check on Ishimaru as well. Neither of them really struck Komaru as the kind to fight ( with their fists, at least, Fukawa’s mouth seemed set on picking a fight half the time ), so to say she was a little concerned might be an understatement. Given the writer had a tendency to be more openly friendly she could probably get a straight...well, an honest answer from him as to what had happened.

But she wanders for what feels like ages, and doesn’t have any luck ( haha, the irony ) in finding any hint as to where either of them might have gone, and decides to stick to her efforts to find Fukawa first. Ishimaru seemed like the type to be more resilient, so maybe she can catch him around their next meal time. If he didn’t lose track of time again, at least...

Ugh, she’d kill to honestly run into anyone around here. Not literally kill, obviously, but for reasons she’s been trying to keep quiet on, she really hates wandering the halls alone: or most places that they can access right now, to be honest. She keeps seeing this one ghost this one ghost in particular ( or at least Komaru is pretty sure she’s a ghost ), but she refuses to acknowledge her hanging around because that would be weird, and she would like to seem normal and if someone saw that it’d be a hassle to explain.

Fortunately, her search finally turns up fruitful when she finds Fukawa spacing out in the A/V room.

...Unfortunately for her, finding Fukawa earns her a pretty close brush with death. In the blink of an eye, a pair of scissors are thrust against her throat, pinning her back against the moment she steps into the room.

Oh. Uh. Oh god? Was Enoshima actually right about that? Her breath catches in her throat and for a moment, she wonders who would find her if she was killed here. Would they care? What about her parents— Makoto?

Would they sigh and just ponder if she’d ever been lucky at all?

And just as quick, the cold metal is pulled away from where it rests against her neck. “Oh. It’s just you.” The words are spoken with more warmth than she can ever recall hearing Fukawa speak with, which is really weird considering what just went down.

Ever so smartly, Komaru doesn’t actually process what is said to her, and responds with, “Isn’t that technically against the rules?”

A thin eyebrow is raised at her, scissors being tucked away under her shirt. Uh. “No? That’s what they want, right? Or are you so naive that you think that everyone would really follow the rules?”

Well. She’s probably not entirely wrong in thinking that she’s naive, but... “Isn’t, uhm. Isn’t that your thing, though? The rules?”

Fukawa looks startled to have this pointed out to her, for some reason. “Oh, hahaha, yeah. T-Totally! I was just...uh, testing you.”

Okay, now she’s just downright acting strange? Komaru’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she’s just acting odd because the videos are weighing on her mind. They are in the AV room, after all. Something doesn’t add up though, but she can’t quite place what it is...

Komaru opens her mouth to ask the other a question, but when she looks back over at Fukawa, her expression has gone kind of...distant? Hazy? She doesn’t quite know how to describe it, and begins to ask if she’s feeling okay when the other girl sort of...collapses into her, arms going around her loosely. She panics a little because that can’t be a sign of anything good, right? Is she feeling dizzy? She’s not passed out, and at least she’s breathing normally. She’s surprisingly pretty light, so it’s not like it’s really an issue to just help support her until she feels better.

The only warning that she gets is the feeling of the other girl tensing up before Fukawa suddenly bolts upright and shoves herself away. Komaru frowns a little, not because of the sudden change in attitude ( if anything, she finds that strangely reliving ), but moreso out of concern, attempting to reach her hands out to help steady her on her feet, but gets her hands slapped away before she can do so. “Don’t touch me.” She hisses.

Okay she’d be lying if she said that didn’t sting, but she can’t help but laugh for a moment. “Ahaha— sorry, I’m not laughing at you. For a moment there, you seemed like a completely different person! I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Fukawa-san.” If she were more aware of the situation, she might feel more guilty for being unintentionally insensitive: but as she doesn't, she simply misses the way the other looks nervous for a moment while she wonders what that had been all about ( but can’t quite gather the nerve to actually ask ).

“Y-Yeah, real likely story. You just...just came to l-laugh at me in a moment of weakness, r-r-right?” She glares, hands clenched. “I know your type! No one is...is actually that nice w-without some kind of ulterior motive.”

Is that what she actually thinks about me?

“No! I really am glad to see you’re feeling better. You really had me scared there for a minute.” She says sincerely, offering her a reassuring smile. “If you want, I’ll listen to whatever’s bothering you. It’ll stay between us.”

Fukawa scowls, watching her for a long minute with a guarded expression. “There w-was something on the, uh, disc that Monokuma gave you, right? Just like— like everyone else?”

Huh? Well, if this is what it takes to get her trust, then she supposes she can talk about it... “Yeah. It was my parents and my older brother. It’s...kinda scary to think about, honestly. What about you, Fukawa-san? Was it also your family?”

“No. M-M-Mine was blank. Because...because there was no one to choose. Or so he says.” Her jaw is clenched. “Of course, I had to— I acted like I was the same as everyone else, b-because it’d be strange if I didn’t, right? You’d think I was, was working with them or something...everyone would really hate me after th-yhat.”

“Uhm, I’m pretty sure Togami-san didn’t even blink an eye...?” She tries to bring up as a counterpoint, but apparently she has more to say.

“A-A-And before you ask, it’s not like they’re wrong about that, so...so it didn’t surprise me to here it. But everyone got s...something similar, right? All these personal th-things about us...just how much do they really know? How are we supposed to act like, like this is all normal when they’ve got that kind of leverage over us...!”

Oh. She’s shaking— she’s scared. She’s been putting up a front? Komaru puts two and two together after a moment, gently taking the other girl’s hands in her own. This time, she doesn’t get pushed away.

“I’m scared too.” She admits. “Thinking about it like that is scary. But that’s what they want from us, right? To make us scared, so we act the way he wants us to, right?”

Fukawa remains silent, but the conflicted look on her face at least indicated that she was paying attention to her and not ignoring her like she might’ve feared. Komaru squeezes her hands in an attempt to be reassuring. “But you think we’ll all get out alive, right? So no matter what, as long as you believe that, no matter what they might know we’ll be okay. And if you don’t think you can do that on your own, I’ll be right here to support you. So we’ll definitely get out alive, it’s a promise...!”

“You...You really don’t know wh-wh-what you’re saying.” She mutters under her breath, but Komaru takes it in stride with a grin.

“That’s not a no!” It’s not a yes either, but Fukawa doesn’t humor her in further acknowledging the subject: it doesn’t really mater, because Komaru sees a hint of what might be called a smile in her gentle expression.

Yes, at least with one of your peers, you are sure you’ve grown a little closer with today ( and for today, that is a good enough start ).

#tokomaru week 2021 #tokomaru #toukomaru #komaru naegi #touko fukawa #toko fukawa #danganronpa #* zhi writes #listen!! i think thh protag komaru has potential and she deserves those rights

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