#they're both just insufferable pricks

[sarawritestories]

hiii i cant get ur fics out of my head so i thought i'd request one! i came across this vid on tiktok and i'd love to see your take on a cassian x reader fic w this vibe HAHAHA i dont mind whoever would be character a or b in this scenario so i leave it in your capable hands! my only specific request is that they're both in the IC hihi

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSFay7B7J/

This was a lot of fun to write! I hope I did this request justice for you!

I Won't Say I'm In Love

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: You are toe to toe in a sparring match with Cassian when he eventually has you pinned to the ground. After some banter Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie confront you about your feelings for him and it's later that night when the four of you are having a girls night do you realize what your feelings truly are.

Content Warnings: None

Word Count 1.7K

A/N: This song was stuck in my head as I wrote this.

ACOTAR Masterlist

You were sparring with Cassian, sweat trickling down your back as the sun unleashed the cruel heat of summer upon you. Opting to take off your leathers and kept the band around your chest and leggings just to keep your cool.  “Don’t give up on me now, Sweetheart.” He lunged an attack that you easily dodge.

“Who said anything about giving up, I’m just getting started.” You swiped your leg to the back of his knee, his hand gripping your calf.

Your eyes widened as he gave me a playful grin, both of us realizing my error. In a quick sweep Cassian maneuvered you to where your chest pressed against the mat and his chest was pressed against your back. His legs wrapped around yours locking you in place. You squirmed under him as he grazed his fingers lightly up your bare torso and you sucked in a breath as his calloused hands reached your arms where he pinned your wrist. You tried to break his grip as heat blasted to your cheeks. Cassian flared his wings and shade consumed the two of you, a reprieve from the unyielding sun. You continued to wiggle under his grip, He leaned in and whispered, “Stop wiggling.”

You scowled and continued your writhing, “You’re not the boss of me, you prick.”

Cassian chuckled, “I’m your general, Sweetheart. That does in fact make me the boss of you.” He gripped your wrist tighter, “I order you to stop wiggling.”  You rolled your eyes, and wiggled anyway and he growls low in your ear, heat pooling in your belly. “I will put you in Az’s dungeon for insubordination if you keep it up. Let the Shadowsinger remind you how to act around your superiors.”

You turned your head and batted your eyelashes at him, “Is that a promise, General?”  You emphasized his title and suddenly the pressure of his body is on you.  You turned on your back to sit up and saw him stalking back into the House of Wind, his wings ruffling. Nesta stepped forward offering you a hand, Gwyn and Emerie not far to follow.

“When are you going to put that insufferable bat out of his misery?” Nesta questioned with a quizzical brow.

You frowned, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gwyn rolled her eyes and looped her arms through yours, “Everyone knows that he is in love with you. I mean the way he looks at you and touches you.”

You laughed, “Gwyn, I think those romance novels are going to your head. We’re just friends, he’s just a flirt. Besides, I don’t even like him like that. He’s like my brother.”

That much was true Rhys had met you in Hewn City when you were both teenagers. You were about to get married off and taking the steps down the aisle when Cassian and Azriel came in and swooped you out of the city and into Velaris. Rhysand then placed you in charge of working with the citizens of the city of Starlight to help with any repairs or issues that needed to be taken care of. And had been a part of the Inner Circle ever since, it was helping train Nesta and the Valkyries that brought you true joy the three girls bringing you such a light in your life.

Nesta rolled her eyes as we all headed into the House. “Whatever, you say, but he never calls anyone else, Sweetheart.”

You bit your lip and kept quiet as the four of you walked through the dining room where Azriel sat. “Hello, ladies, how was training?” He addressed the group, but his eyes lingered on the red head on my arm.”

Gwyn just smirked, “Fantastic, Cassian was about to devour his Sweetheart on the mat today. It was romantic.” You glared at her, and her Teal eyes twinkled with mischief.

Azriel chuckled drawing my gaze to the spymaster as he looked at me, “Did he now?”

You crossed my arms, “No he didn’t, all he did was pinned me down and threatened to throw me in your dungeons. Also, Gwyn didn’t even”

Az looked to Gwyn, “You have a strange idea of Romance did you know that?”

Gwyn winked at him, and his shadows swirled in response. “Oh, you have no idea, Shadowsinger.”

Feeling the tension in the room, I announced, “Okay well now that we established that Cassan was not coming on to me, and whatever the Hel is going on with you two,” Both Az and Gwyn blush and avert the other one’s gazes, “I’m in need of a bath I’ll see you later tonight.” You walked over and kissed Az’s cheek. “Shadowsinger.”

“Sweetheart.” Az teased, you flipped him off and headed to your room. Cleaning off the sweat and grime of the day, the cold bite of the chilled bath cooling your overheated skin.

Everyone knows that he’s in love with you.

Gwyn’s words reverberated in your mind. Up until you walked into the library where your friends were waiting for you later that night, pajamas on and books in hand. “Ready for book club?” You asked, taking a seat next to Emerie, her hair in her regular braid.

“Yes, let’s begin.” Nesta said pointed stare looking you up and down with a smirk on her face. Looking down at the black silk shorts and top your eyes widened where the red lace was peeking through. You tugged down your shirt as Nesta began reading some of her favorite passages.

“Didn’t you just adore when the knight, came in to help the maiden with her nightmare, even though he has claimed time and again he doesn’t care about her.” Gwyn swooned and your mind drifted.

“Sweetheart, wake up!”

You opened your eyes and met with Cassian’s hazel ones. His hands cupped your cheeks, wiping the stray tears from your face. Cassian’s face held worry there. “What’s going on?” You whispered, voice hoarse and strained.

“You were screaming, calling for help. I came in you were thrashing about in your bed. Scratched me good,” You noticed then that his cheek had a slight gash that was already healing. “Nightmare?”

Your lip wobbled and you gave him a nod. He wiped the sweat soaked strands of hair out of my face. “Stay with me?” you whimpered.

Cassian pressed his forehead to yours and your eyes fluttered close, “Of course, Sweetheart.” And Cassian wrapped you in his arms wings covering you as if his wing could protect you from any impending nightmare to come your way.

Emerie’s voice broke you from your reverie, “I am particularly fond of when the knight dances with her at the ball.

Another memory flashed forward:

You dropped your bag and fought the tears; nothing was more embarrassing than having a date stand you up. A hand gripped your wrist, and the familiar scent of sandalwood told you who it was. You turned and found Cassian there his hair down and stubble grazing his cheeks, “I thought you were on a date tonight?”

I shrugged, “Someone has to show up for it to be considered a date.” His face fell and he gripped your hand, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.” He paused and glanced at you clad in a blue striped sundress. “Come here.” He pulled you close to him, his large hand splayed across your back as he pressed your chest your head reached his chest.

“What are you doing?” You asked, placing your own hand on his arm as he gripped your other hand, as he began to sway his wings tucked in.

“I’m dancing with a beautiful female,” Cassian grinned as he turned you both around the room. His grin was contagious and instantly the tears threatening to spill were gone and instead you began to laugh as he twirled you around until you both had exhausted yourselves and he simply held you close and swayed late into the evening.

Nesta’s snapping your face brought you back to the group, “Sorry, I guess my head isn’t here.”

Nesta smirked, “We were just wanting to know. Your favorite part of the book.”

You looked down and grazed your fingers over the cover of the book, “Um I enjoyed the scene, where Cassian-” You blinked and looked up at the girls all three smirking back at you. Then as though a ton of bricks had crashed down on you of memories flashing through of all the times Cassian has interacted with you, and your feelings came flooding to the surface you bolted up from my seat, “OH WHAT THE FUCK! OH GOD.”

Gwyn smiled and crossed her legs, Resting her head on her palm, “What’s the matter, Y/N?”

Not responding to them you bolted from the library and descended the stairs, the plush carpet squishing the bottom of your feet as you barged into Cassian’s room not bothering to knock.

Cassian jolted from his bed, dropping the book he was reading, replacing it with a knife ready, a general ready for battle. His face softened when he realized it was you, his hair was in a bun, a few strands falling down his face, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his chiseled body, and tattoos on full display. His brow furrowed as he noticed your rapid breathing, “Sweetheart, what’s the matter?”

Shutting the door, you leaned against it, “I love you.” You murmured looking down at your feet.

“Come again?” You looked up and Cassian had put the knife down, his chest still as though he wasn’t breathing.

You took a step forward, “I love you, Cassian.”

Cassian closed the distance between the two of you, your heart began to quicken as he gripped your waist “Say it one more time for me, Sweetheart.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I. Love. You.”

He growled, “Finally.” He pressed his lips to yours the warmth of his bare chest seeping into your bones as pulled him closer deepening the kiss.

He pulled away his thumbs grazing your hip bones, “I have loved you for so long.” He whispered against Your lips.

“I’m sorry it took so long.” you whispered back. “I’m here now and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Cassian smiles. “Mine.” He pecked your lips, as he slapped your ass eliciting a moan. “All fucking mine.” He kissed you again before pulling away, and kissing your nose, “Now be a good girl and take off your clothes for me.”

You smile as you grip the hem of your top, “Yes, General.”

Part 2 can be found here

[homestuckreplay]

TURNTECH GODHEAD JUMPSCARE!

(page 308-312)

OH PSYCHE????

This asshole came outta fucking NOWHERE right when I was looking at a cool wizard painting on Rose's wall. Truly Dave Strider is just like his raps, always showing up where he's not wanted.

'standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes' would a cool dude think this? really? I mean, as a sword owner I WILL acknowledge that slashing things with a sword is pretty cool. I bet Dave has a Wii and attaches the remote to a sword. And it's interesting that we open on an action shot of Dave, as he literally forces his way into the story and then starts attacking, compared to John and Rose being more passive.

TT: I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks. (p.63)

TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether (p.204)

Both Dave and Rose's 'wrong' names as entered by the player come from pesterlogs where they're talking about the other, which is fun. John's been part of all Pesterchum chats so far, but I really hope we get to see Rose and Dave talk soon. They're both so obnoxious in different ways I really want to see how they'll bounce off one another.

Dave just looks so EXPRESSIONLESS with no visible eyes and the tiny straight line mouth. His SUNGLASSES show more emotion than he does. I guess this is the birthday gift John got for Dave that 'touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point.' A quick search says these are from the Starsky & Hutch movie, which I guess I'll watch soon.

As for Dave's room, there's a LOT going on. The rooms are getting progressively messier, from John to Rose to Dave, so I can't even imagine GG's. The main feature here is the turntables hooked up to various computers and gadgets in an expensive, convoluted audio mixing system. I guess this is the turntech. And the godhead is Dave with his belief that it's okay to have a dozen trailing electrical cables in his room because tripping and electrocution aren't a risk to him.

This music studio combined with the extensive record collection and the record on his shirt really gives Dave the vibe of 'guy who makes music his entire personality'. The envelopes for the Sburb beta discs are next to the turntables, but Dave recently told John he lost his copy and that 'its a stupid story and id rather not talk about it' so.... did Dave try to play the Sburb discs on the turntables or what?? And like, can we really expect smart decisions from someone who has TWO issues of GameBro on his desk?

Everything in Dave's room is held up by cinderblocks for some reason. I don't know if this is a real thing that people do or not. He's also into photography, which is a great hobby, but all his pictures are just of him which for sure loses him some Cool Points.

Dave also has a poster of the Midnight Crew, as featured in John's and our favorite website mspaintadventures.com, and his playing card suit bedsheets might be a reference to that too, so this webcomic is another shared interest of theirs. He's also kept the box from John's birthday gift, and next to the box half-inside the closet is a bottle Dave mentioned to John on page 26: 'i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here.' I really love all these nods to John and Dave's friendship scattered around the room.

[mintharan]

I've been burdened with terrible visions. Walk with me.

It struck me how Spawn Astarion with Duke Wyll and Ascended Astarion with Duke Wyll could work as negatives of each other.

For instance, Wyll marries spawn Astarion, they are so happy everyone around them gets hit with the fallout. Wyll singlehandedly makes nightly soirees a thing. "I just think parties should happen at night, there's no point in holding any kind of grand event during the day if you really think about it." Just so Astarion can attend and be the centre of attention and speculation.

Everyone wonders about the Duke's mysterious husband who never goes out during the day. Rumours abound. "I hear Duke Ravengard is extremely jealous and doesn't let his husband out of his sight, locks him up inside the house so none may gaze upon him." "Nonsense, I hear the man is actually a pale drow and the sun hurts his eyes." "More nonsense, I hear he's an insufferable prick who thinks everyone is beneath him and only comes out at night because the sun makes other people's flaws too apparent."

You get the gist of it. Astarion delights in having all these rumours about himself, and tells Wyll to stop trying to dispel them. "Darling, the people of Baldur's Gate get bored easily, let them speculate, it's better than starting yet another cult." They adopt Lily Aurora, who Astarion raises to be a menace. Wyll thinks she's just darling even as people look in horror as she attempts to chew the furniture.

It's all very sweet, despite Astarion's occasional maudlin periods about not being able to go out into the sun.

Now, Ascended Astarion and Duke Wyll get exactly the same story, except no one's happy about it.

This works best imo if they were together before Astarion's ascension and then Wyll broke it off. In this case he'd choose to become a Duke out of an extreme sense of duty to protect the people of Baldur's Gate from the monster Astarion had become.

They would orbit each other constantly, Wyll reminding Astarion that he couldn't go too far without consequence and Astarion testing the limits of Wyll's feelings for him (the love was still there, just twisted).

Eventually the loneliness gets to them both, but mostly to Wyll, who can never get over Astarion, and in a moment of weakness gives in. It feels like a victory to Astarion at first, but like everything else about Ascension he soon realizes it's hollow.

Wyll isn't happy about compromising his morals, even if it's for love, and he despairs in not recognizing the man he fell for in Astarion. Wyll tries to end it many times, but Astarion has him wrapped around his finger, with sex, but mostly with the mimicry of the romance they enjoyed during their early courtship.

Astarion fears one day he'll leave him for good and that he'll be alone. Again. Haunting the halls of his former prison with only his memories for company.

So he brings Lily home, and at first Wyll is horrified but soon he finds comfort in the child's presence. He stays home for longer periods of time. Less 'Duke' duties take him away from Astarion. He's a fucking genius, he solved it.

Except it's obvious Wyll loves the child more than he loves Astarion. He takes to being a father like a duck to water, and while he's home more often all his time is spent with their daughter. His daughter really, he seems to think Astarion will be a bad influence on Lily if he as much as breathes near her.

So his grand plan backfired and now he's so jealous he can barely see straight. He wishes he could take back the damn girl and return her to the Ilmater priests.

But then he remembers. Cazador had made good use of a father's love for his daughter when he made Leon do everything he wanted to keep Violet safe.

Astarion starts doing the same, manipulating Wyll with veiled threats to Lily's life. Wyll knows exactly what he's doing, but he's powerless to do anything. Astarion got the child on his own, they're not married, Wyll has no rights to her.

But he could have, Astarion reminds him. Dangling the promise like a noose. If he agreed to become Astarion's consort, he could have everything.

"Have I not been made into enough of a monster?"

"Darling, at least we'd be monsters together."

It all comes to a head when Astarion threatens to turn Lily instead. "Think about it, she'd be your sweet child forever. She'll never grow up to blame you for anything."

Wyll gives in, allows Astarion to turn him and becomes his consort. They get married, it's a grand event, with the whole city in attendance.

Astarion is triumphant, Wyll is resigned. He becomes more accommodating to Astarion's whims, and Astarion wonders if that's the result of his influence over him through their bond, or Wyll finally accepting the love he can give him.

It kills him that he'll never know.

Astarion has everything he ever wanted, he just wishes he could be happy about it. Wyll still dreams about the shy kisses they traded on an empty beach with only the moon for a witness. Another life.

[y-rhywbeth2]

"Let us take advantage of our surprising guest, and their particular brand of create genius."

While Durge just glares at him throughout the whole scene and Ketheric's being so smug.

I never get tired of these two hating each other.

Aren't Orin and Gortash both at Moonrise right now? I wonder what they're up to.

Orin probably knows/doesn't care (this whole thing is a setup in her plan for their duel, I'm pretty sure). But Gortash is out of the loop, so that's another layer for Ketheric to be smug; "I know some very important information you don't, and I'm not telling either of you insufferable pricks fuck all."

[wordsandrobots]

Ride and Gaileo: Fighting.

[For this ask game; this answer contains spoilers for Iron-Blooded Orphans and my fanfics.]

Ironically similar.

They both benefit from excellent training (Gjallarhorn's elite/the Turbines) and innate advantages (raw talent/Alaya-Vijnana). They're also both extremely reckless. Gaelio, in his prime, because he's a thoughtless prick who's never had to face the consequences of his actions. Ride, post-canon, because he's ceased to see any value in his own life beyond acting as an instrument of vengeance/revolution. Overall, I'd say Ride is a much more careful mobile suit pilot. I doubt he's ever put a lance through an ally by accident. But then he was actually trained to act as part of a group, whereas Gaelio seems to be specialised at charging off on his own.

Or did you mean interpersonally?

Well, post-canon, post-Wishing on Space Hardware, also ironically similar. They both suffer from this problem where their mouths run ahead of their brains and the temperament to double-down on it until they realise they've dug themselves into holes.

Gaelio remains an insufferable snob but he's also chronically guilt-ridden and thus while he still has a habit of giving acerbic or sarcastic responses, it is really tremendously easy to make him think everything is his fault. Honestly, just leave it a minute and he'll get there on his own.

Ride is an irascible hot-head wrapped around an iceberg of self-poisoning anger. But -- and this is important -- he cares. About everything and everyone. It's the main trait he shares with Orga: if he sees you as a person rather than a target and if he thinks he's responsible for you (which if you're in his proximity, he does), he will look after you to the very best of his ability. And he's not mean. He doesn't like seeing people suffer. So, again, however much he might snarl and bite (verbally, possibly literally) during disagreements, it'll burn out quick and leave him regretting losing his temper.

Basically, they wind each other up near-constantly, then spend hours navigating the awkwardness that comes of one side defaulting to constant self-loathing apologies while the other stews over feeling like he's in the wrong. It's somewhat cyclic.

There. Hah. And I managed to answer that without letting you trick me into revealing the Terrible No Good Very Bad slash-pairing idea that came out of thinking too hard about the aftermath of Wishing on Space Hardwa -- GODS DAMNIT.

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole Head canons

a/n: okay so i randomly had this idea and i'm aware most people wont be interested in the slightest but i just had to write it, for myself more than anything haha. So I was thinking about the character Lou within my Matty series "insufferable arsehole" and i was thinking about her relationship/friendships with the guys and decided to do some head canons for each of the boys... enjoy if you do read haha

Special thanks goes to @poisonmedaddy13 aka my wonderful support system on here :) thank you for helping me with this, for not shutting down my ideas and for having my back

Part 5 will be posted soon so keep your eyes peeled if you're interested :)

PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE YET TO READ INSUFFERABLE ARSEHOLE BC SPOILERS!

You can read the series here

George:

George has been her best friend since diapers, they've gone through every aspect of their lives together, that fact alone means that they're bonded for life

They know every minute detail about each other

She thinks he probably knows her better than anyone

He's the one person in her life who has been a steady unwavering support

He's her rock, the person she knows she can go to for everything, for advice, for comfort for laughs, anything

they have to deal with lots of people assuming they're something more and it has got a bit tiring over the years but theyre kind of used to it by now

she knows he would jump in front of a train if it meant she lived

he would hurt anyone who hurts her and has come close to beating up ex's of hers that have been douches (and has punched a fair few of them)

she's the first he shares lyrics with or song concepts (even more matty sometimes)

they both felt that because they were so close, whatever one was feeling, the other felt too

not a day went by where they didnt talk, even when they weren't together, on opposite sides of the world, they would still talk

there was this one time: when they were around 16 maybe 17, g had organised this big surprise party for her birthday, it was absolutely amazing, he had managed to get a fuck ton of beer and weed from an older friend, his garden was full to the brim of all of their friends, some people she didnt know (not that it matter). but despite it being HER birthday party, he had invited matty who at some point in the night had said something about how the dress she was wearing would make all the guys think she was an easy fuck... she remembered how her best friend (a very drunk and high george) had laughed at mattys words... they didn't talk for weeks after that until one day her lanky friend appeared at her door, begging on his hands and knees to forgive him, saying how much of a prick he had been and how much he had missed her. somehow they grew closer after that, he would always have her back and she never questioned that.

they have their own handsake and george knows her disdain for something by one simple fact: she will crinkle her nose up at him, he'd do it back and then they'd laugh about it... it was their thing

she was practically his sister

nicknames they have for each other: G, Georgie (he doesn't like this too much), he calls her Lou ofc, also pumpkin (when she was sad or needed comfort),

Ross:

ross and lou grew close when they were kids, they were never as close as G and Lou (basically impossible to be) but there friendship was different

ross feels like the person she goes to when she doesn't even know she needs him

he's always there for her: always

he knows whats wrong before she does most of the time

they're relationship has the same vibe as ross x matty, that kind of intense platonic love

he's her cuddle bear, someone who gives amazing hugs, the kind that heal her

again she knew he'd die for her and she would for him

he was one of the best things that had ever happened to her, she know if she were to have kids he'd be the god father

she was his wingwoman most of the time, always trying to find a partner who was deserving of his love, someone who would love him the way he needed to be loved

he felt like her platonic soulmate, someone that made her soul happy

buttttt.... when they were younger they did used to flirt... like ALOT and people often thought they were together bc of this... they got drunk at a party once a shared quite a steamy kiss (they would take this to their graves btw) but over time it kind of just fizzled out and was replaced with this platonic love, he was enamored with her regardless

they were often childish with each other, he'd carry her around the empty stages on his back, so she began calling him "monkey man" not only bc he was freaking tall but because she clung to him like a monkey

nickanmes: lou would call him: monkeyman, macdonald, mr macdonald, he calls her: sweetcheeks, rockstar, cool kid, sweetheart

Adam:

now adam and lou aren't as close as lou x george and lou x ross but he's still one of her best friends

adam is the person she goes to if she needs an honest opinion, he is the The “tell it like it is” friend and she is so appreciative of that: often the other boys' opinions can be clouded by how much they love her, adam always had a fair mind about her

And tbh she was that for him too, he remembers when he confided in Lou about his worries about carly in his relationship (very early on in their relationship), he told her how he was worried carly would leave him becuase they could never have a 'normal' relationship, they'd always be on tour, swarmed with fans, fans who (despite their sweet intentions) would always want to know everything about their relationship, Lou all but smacked him round the head, telling him he was being ridiculous, that he'd never find another like carly, someone who was so loving and accepting of everyone she met, told him he might as well marry her and that his thoughts although valid, were just thoughts, and that the realistic state of things was that carly was going to love him regardless.

he is someone who watches on the sidelines, showering her with love and affection and his admiration in his own way, often by doing simple things like "i got you xyz thing because i remember you mentioned it"

he loves how she makes carly feel welcome, always the first to talk to her and ask how she is (carly and hann and agreed that they'd ask her to be godmother)

he's not often one to be cuddly with her but when he is it means so much more

they are the type of friends who dont have superficial conversations, their conversations are much more meaningful than that

he knows she'd do anything to protect him, carly and the baby that is on the way and is so thankful to her for that

she likes how in depth their conversations are, everyone knows hann as this guy that doesn't talk much but the two of them often talks for hours

he's one of those friends that tells these cracking jokes out of the blue that makes everyone die of laughter

nicknames: she ofc calls him Hann, she teasingly starts calling him daddy, he mainly calls her Lou tbh, sometimes calls her rockstar too

[captainbobbin]

For the ship ask game: Marluxia/Saïx, please! 💜

(referring to this ship ask meme)

Its threading the line between Makes Sense, Compels Me and Doesnt Make Sense, Compels Me tbh!

this got long so uh under the cut to save your dashspace lmao

okay. okay. Marluxia/Saïx

listen. Horrible bitchy power-hungry usurpers that hate everyone and have cotton-candy hair and will do everything in their power to be snide shitty and get their way while also covering up a deep and intimate loss of a formative female figure in their lives I get it I get it these two should AT MINIMUM go get coffee together or something fr.

My chat and I talk CONSTANTLY about Marluxia being so peanutbutter and jealous over Saïx being Xemnas' fave special boy and being big mad because does he want to be in Saïx's place or does he want to be Saïx or does he want to be WITH Saïx god he's a mess and he's going to go sit and talk to a potted plant until he feels a bit better. Why is that stuck up moon prick so pretty and insufferable and whats his deal and is he free of Friday night? of course he wouldn't be UGH he's such a dickhead nevermind but he's so cute tho

I think. They would have amazing chemistry if for the love of god they just pulled their heads out of their asses and sat and had a normal convo however my take on these silly little disneyanime guys is far removed from canon ajsdhask hence why it both does and doesn't make sense. Like absolutely they're both self-serving (to an extent) jerks who are narrow-viewed and focused only on their own gain and its physically impossible for either of them to care at all but. Man. If they had a little more time to just chill and hang out and discuss things like normal people I think they'd have a lot in common and would actually get along and be civil and hell can you imagine them working together poor Xemnas wouldn't stand a chance against his two fave bitch prettymen coming for his throat arm in arm

I feel like they'd be that kind of couple that are either like cat and dog and fight constantly and bicker and spit vitriol and no one knows why the fuck they're together because PATENTLY whatever this is isn't working (when actually no one *gets it* except the other and they have a strange and corrosive bond) or its just like. They just click. Theyre seamless with one another. there's a flow, an equilibrium, they both want the same things and can look at something and process it the same way. I think they'd be absolutely despicable together as Nobodies, Literally cataclysmic levels of insufferable cunt and snide violence and god poor Axel would never know peace. However I am very very much of the view that Any And All Nobody-based Romances are doomed to fail by the narrative so. Maybe it should be kept to a sordid little affair more than anything else. That would probably be the for best. You just know Saïx would be so super bent out of shape abt it tho lmaoooo

I'm a sucker for XemSai (as I'm sure everyone knows well by now) but I'm also a big sucker for LauriEven/MarVex and one of my big headcanons for the latter is that post kh3 when things have settled down, Lauriam and Isa hang out. Isa is friends with Even more than Lauriam but. I really really like the idea of Lauriam perhaps approaching Isa and just being normal around him? They go out on coffee runs and just talk, they meet up every so often to catch up, talk about how Lea and the kids are and how Radiant Garden is coming together again and yes the flowers here are so nice and I understand why you would want to live here and I Just! Really Like! Isa being a supportive character towards semi-dad-figure Even and now that everyone is cool and not wanting to murder each other Lauriam is actually really civil and dare he think it even good for dear old Even and Isa just kinda! Likes him! They become friends. Like friends with no baggage, no pressure, just hey if Isa swings around RG way again do you wanna get lunch and catch up? Theyre just normal guys now with a lot in common and a future ahead and its just comfortable having someone similar a phonecall away that is happy to listen and provide a fresh outlook on daily things, yknow?

I think. all the time. About a LauriEven marriage where Isa is asked at the reception to dance with them both because he's like. Even sees him as 'one of the kids he saw grow up' and they bonded over their work and they've always gotten along, surrogate son and dad relationship, and Lauriam, softened and approachable with his new heart just as Isa is, feels able to reach out and know that Isa is ever-reliable and genuinely wants things to be better for everyone. I just think that they'd make really really nice like family-friends who platonically love and appreciate each other once they have hearts..... as Nobodies, maybe not so much ahsdgahskd

I know my take on isa is generally very soft and doting but just let me have this asdhaskjdj

anyway this was a rambling splurge of words and I will be thinking about this for the rest of the evening thank you I love this I am going to go sit in my bathtub and think about the symbolism of moonflowers a lot.

tl;dr: I love them as a platonic ship but there is def potential there and I love them both separately (and with others) so so much

[sweatertheman]

it has come to my attention that i can be a bit of a controlling elitist at times, in the sense that i struggle to see how people can see things differently than me, and often feel the need to make others see it the way i do. usually this manifests in me overexplaining and repeating myself, trying to poke holes in other people's beliefs when they differ from mine, and often getting overly frustrated when encountering ideas i disagree with, when they're related to something important to me.

this is both because of my autism, and a character flaw on my part.

i am trying to do better at this in the future. i do genuinely want to have real discussions and be able to interact calmly and normally with people, its just a little hard at times. im still learning, yknow?

so, just in case we ever interact and im being a bit of an elitist prick:

your opinion is valid and it's completely okay to disagree with me

i am willing to improve

if i am being insufferable, stuck up, rude, or otherwise unpleasant to engage with, please calmly tell me that this is the case and ask me to change my attitude, and i will do my best to respond accordingly.

thank you for your patience and i hope that we'll be able to have some good, levelheaded discussions :)

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

I have stuff for the Teacher AU.

I got notes in my math notes.

Along with a doodle.

Okay. I'll summarize.

Takaaki– Known as the Demon Ishimaru. He's not liked by his students because he's always giving out detentions or suspensions. Or just yells at them when they break the rules. But he cares about his students, he just wishes they weren't insufferable and annoying. He's a history teacher, but also the disciplinarian, monitoring detentions and in-school suspensions (unless that's just an American thing. I'm just gonna add it anyways.) Him and Taka are the two people you do not wanna run into while breaking rules. You run into one, it's okay. But both?! At the same time?! You're FUCKED! And if you're Mondo and run into Takaaki…good luck. Mondo got his ass in so much trouble for kissing Taka in the halls. It makes Mondo think Takaaki regurgitates from PDA with the unfair detention time, but he just hates Mon. He will fight Taka and Taichi's bullies, but just gives them the proper punishment. But he's not merciful with it. And he makes them fear him when they're serving their detentions or suspensions. (His students make him insecure whenever they talk bad about him, though.) He's also a hypocrite when it comes to smoking and cursing in school grounds. Yelling at the students to not to smoke or swear when he himself does the same thing.

Taichi– The pushover teacher, sadly. His students bully him into the ground and he does nothing but scold them. He doesn't wanna discipline them. He's just a shy, timid guy who is a bully magnet. He's a science and computer science teacher. And also the sponsor for the computer science club with Chihiro as the president. He is so in love with the Demon Ishimaru and he sometimes yells (but kinda softly) at the students who talk badly about his beloved. Which makes him more of a target because they think Taichi is just a suck-up or fucking Takaaki. (Which the latter is true. But he still takes offense.) He's loves helping his students improve. Enough so to do tutoring after school to help any students in need. He's not great in some subjects, but he tries his best. He's more better in math and science.

The two sneak around a lot, sneaking in kisses before school starts or when the students are heading back to class. They visit each other when they need help or just wanna ask if the other will be free that night. Some of the girl students in Taichi's class crush on him like crazy which gets Takaaki kinda nervous. Like he wants to just tell them that Taichi is his and those girls are far too young for them anyways. He just sticks to that last thing whenever they ask about what type of girl he's into.

Some of their students also try to set up Takaaki with some of the female teachers so he can not be such a prick. But Takaaki quickly refuses their want to set him up. He's more interested in Taichi and his job more than anything. He can't say he's already seeing someone because either they don't believe him or they're gonna ask who and annoy him. The two aren't so bad at keeping it secret or sneaking around. They haven't been caught yet, so that's a relief to them.

Though, their kids seem to be getting suspicious. Especially that one time where Taichi came out of Takaaki's classroom (just as lunchtime ended) with his shirt unbuttoned a bit and hair a little messier than usual. Taka said nothing while Chihiro stared at him with wide eyes.

I wrote this entire thing in math class help me. (Minus that last paragraph tho.)

[epickiya722]

💣 PROTO!KATSUKI 💣

If Horikoshi went with his prototype personality for Katsuki, I feel like Katsuki would still be an unlikable character. Even more so, a little less popular than he is now.

Look, some of you tend to look at the nice characters and think they're "boring".

Koda, Shoji, Iida, Yaoyorozu, Ojiro and some other characters don't get as much attention from the fandom because they are nice. Let's just put it out there.

I see why those characters don't get as much screen time in the story because THEY ARE JUST MINOR CHARACTERS. That's a thing in story telling. Minor characters are there to just fill in the space, push the story along, give us a full cast. At the end of the day, Midoriya is the protagonist, the story is about him.

Speaking of the green boy!

Some of you think Midoriya is boring because he is kind and even as far as saying he's whiny and a crybaby because he shows his emotions. If he's not showing angry or being snarky like many other protagonists, he's not a good character. What the fuck ever.

If Katsuki was "nice" be honest, he wouldn't be seen as interesting.

If there's one thing I hate is when male characters show emotions, other than anger, and people call them "crybabies". That makes me mad.

It really does suck that it's deeply rooted in society that men and boys are weak for crying or wanting to hug their love ones everyday, etc.

That's not weak.

That's being human.

But I digress.

If Katsuki was "the nice guy" I also feel like a lot of shippers would be like "He's in the way of my ship". His kindness towards Izuku would be "just for show, he's really faking it, he's actually a possessive insufferable prick who is overbearing".

Be honest, be honest.

Don't lie because you already do it with Katsuki because he's mean and some of you do it with Izuku and Ochaco a lot, both who are nice characters.

Any Deku ship, Ochaco is the bad girl. "She's really just a bitch who wants Izuku for herself", which is so not true. I said it before and I'll say it again, any time she is just minding her business and doing hero stuff it's Mina who puts the idea of love in her head. I love Mina, but damn.

And with any Bakugou ship, Midoriya is the bad guy. "He's actually just clingy who stalks Bakugou and won't let him breathe". Again, so not true. Last time I checked, Midoriya isn't the one going around and listening in on people's conversations. Observant he is... WITH EVERYONE. That's how he learned to get creative with his moves. But a stalker?! For Bakugou?! No!

Both Ochaco and Izuku are often mischaracterize just for the sake of ships when we all know damn well they would be supportive.

Both put others before themselves. At best when it comes to relationships, they would want their friends happy. Concerned, hopes for the best, yes!

So if some of you act like this with Ochaco and Izuku, nice characters, I can definitely see prototype Katsuki being treated the same way.

Overall, just my opinion, either way how Katsuki's personality is, there would be little difference in some of this fandom. I know I'd like him, still would.

A lot of my faves do be nice characters.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1061: Morning Valentine's Gift (Kingdom Hearts)

9:46 a.m. at Seasalt's Residence.......

Isa: (Looks Down at his Gift Bag Lea Gave Him) You.....actually got me something for Valentine's this year?

Lea: (Happily Nodded) Yep. I was gonna give it to you when you came back from work last night, but you already fell face down on the bed, grumbling yourself to sleep.

Isa: Oh right. (Rolls his Eyes in Annoyance) Last night......

Lea: Rough night at the bar?

Isa: ('Sigh') More or less. I swear every new customers we get keeps getting more insufferable every night.....

Flashback to Lockhart's Bar........

Isa stands behind the bar in pure annoyance while he reluctantly listens to two drunken customers yelling out their separate complaints and issues to him. One was complaining about his nagging wife at home and kept pestering the bartender to keep giving him a refill while the other kept going on and on about how spicy the hot wings are (even though Isa clearly saw him dipped a ton of hot sauce on each wings)

Their stupidity and headache-inducing presence alone causes Isa this close into summoning his Claymore to knock them both out from of his sights. The only thing that's stopping him from doing that however, is a hand placed on his shoulder, the hand that belongs to none other than his co-worker and friend, Barret Wallace.

Barret: Don't let those clowns get to you, Isa my man. (Glares at the Two Customers While Cracking Both his Knuckles) I'll handle this.......

Outside the Bar

Barret: (From Inside) IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR-

'Glass Break'

Barret: DRUNK ASSES OUT OF OUR BAR RIGHT NOW-

End of Flashback

Isa: Honestly, if it weren't for Barret stepping in at the last second, who knew what the outcome would've been that night.....

Lea: (Shrugs) I'm sure you would've handled it somehow. Still cool of the big guy to look out for you like that.

Isa: (Smiles a Little) Agreed. He's a good friend. Do you think we should hangout together later on today if he isn't too busy?

Lea: Definitely! But before we do that, I think it's high time you start seeing what's inside that bag, don'tcha think?

Isa simply nodded before looking down at the gift bag in front of him. His eyes shortly begins to widens at he picks up a book from inside.

Isa: Lea....you got me a new volume of the Young and the Relentless?

Lea: (Happily) Yeeeup. I brought from the bookstore last night while the author guy was doing a book signing. (Smirks Proudly) And let's just say I was able to get him sign it for you in the neck of time.

Isa turns the book around and opens it from the back as it shows off the very well made signature of the author who made the series as a whole.

Lea: The line was stupid long and the guy was a bit of a pompous prick, but at least I didn't came back home empty handed!

Isa: That you did. (Smiles Softly at his Boyfriend) Thank you, Lea-

Lea: Nah-ah-ah. Don't Thank me just yet. You still got one more gift in there.

Isa: You don't say...

Curious, Isa looks back down at the bag and takes out the last gift from inside, revealing itself to be a picture frame of him and Lea in their younger years, back when all they had to worry about is getting school work done and getting back home at certain time before either of their folks starts blowing a casket But ultimately, this photo was taken before they've gotten themselves into the convoluted madness that was the Organization XIII.

It changed them a lot since then. Their time at the organization were mostly halo at best and traumatic at worst, but thankfully there were a few positives that came out of it in the end: like meeting Roxas, Xion, Sora, Riku, Kairi and and a tew others that began their friends and close allies overtime and receiving the opportunity to redeem themselves and live the life they want to live for themselves and their kids' future going forward.

It was a wild, unhinged ride for the duo to endure separately, but it was all still worth it in the end now that they're both living fairly happy together as something more a rekindled friendship.

Isa: You kept this photo of us with you this entire time?

Lea: Kind of. I found it inside my old cloak a year or two ago when I told it to dry cleaning. Must've been in there before we became nobodies.

Isa: Maybe.....(Starts Smiling Fondy at the Picture in Front of Him) It's nice to think back on those simpler times.

Lea: Don't I know it. Hey, remember that we met Ven for the first time and me and him sparred for a match or too?

Isa: Oh yes. (Playfully Rolls his Eyes) How could I ever forget the time he molly-whoped you into the ground?

Lea: (Immediately Glares at Isa) 'Ey, it wasn't my fault the kid got lucky that time!

Isa: Perhaps. (Forms a Small Smirk on his Face) Doesn't change the fact that you had a big fat L on your forehead for Loser that day. Lame, Laughable, Ludicrous-

Lea: Alright, alright, you made ya point! Geez, I forgot how much of a smart-ass you was growing up. Matter of fact, I think you're one now.

Isa: And yet guess who's the person in this apartment fell in love with that said "smart-ass"? I'll give you hint: his abilities are pyro based.

Lea: Don't know what that, but I do know who you're talking about. (Puts on a Dorky Grin on his Face) Your truly!

Isa: Correct~ (Leans Closer and Gives Lea a Loving Kiss on the Lips Before Hugging Him) I can't thank you enough for all of this, Lea. And I apologize for not getting you anything in return this year.

Lea: (Smiles Softly) Nah, you don't have to worry about that. I already got the best Valentine's gift in the world: a blue haired smart-ass who loves me.

Isa: (Chuckles Lightly) How flattering. But I still want to do something special for you. (Gives His Boyfriend a Seductive Smirk on his Face) Perhaps some nice alone time in the room together could suffice?~

Lea: (Smirks Back at Isa) You read my mind?~

The couple starts closing in on one another for another kiss until......

Roxas: (In the Other Room) CHILDREN ARE STILL PRESENT!

Xion: (In the Other Room as Well) AND A VERY SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY BREAKFAST IS READYYYYY!~

Lea: (Groans While Rolling his Eyes) Right. I forgot we still have delinquence to raise....

Isa: That we do. They're planning on have another sleep over at the Smash Mansion later tonight, so we could hopefully start our alone time from there.

Lea: Keyword being hopefully.

@keyenuta

@26shann

@khtext

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@caleb13frede

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 27 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

When I get home, I'm not prepared to see Daemon, talking to an Alpha I've never seen before on the driveway.

He's got auburn hair, tattoos along his arms much like Daemon, disappearing into the sleeves of his shirt.

He smokes a cigarette, blowing out after a long drag.

He leans against a black motorcycle.

When I walk up, immediately their conversation stops as they both turn to look at me.

My eyes widen in alarm, clutching my bag tighter as I look down, wanting to avoid eye contact.

I find myself speeding up, quickly walking up the steps of the porch and rushing inside without acknowledging them.

I know it was weird, not subtle at all.

Ugh, why is he here?

I peek out the window, seeing they've gone back to talking.

I kind of want to hear what they're saying so I open it a crack, just enough to pick up some of the conversation.

"Is that the kid Lucien picked up from Blood Creek?" Tristan is saying.

"Yeah."

"He seems shy."

"He is."

"Cute, too."

Daemon grimaces, sending the guy a glare.

"Yeesh, Daemon. Fix that temper of yours."

Daemon scrubs a hand over his face, looking tired.

"I'm trying."

"Yeah right. By the way, where did you go last night at the bonfire?"

Daemon shrugs.

"Nothing important. Just left."

Nothing important? So that's what I am to him?

I shoot him an angry look, though he can't see me.

"Donovan and the others were looking for you."

Daemon shrugs.

"Well, they wanna talk Theo with you. He's been insufferable lately, apparently."

"Isn't he always? Why do they need you to tell me for them, Tristan?" Daemon asks.

"Because you're in one of your moods. You're always in your fucking moods, dude."

"Fuck off," Daemon pushes him roughly as Tristan laughs, coughing on the smoke of his own cigarette.

"You have to smoke that shit in my face?"

"Can't smoke at home anymore. My cat hates the smell."

Daemon sighs in annoyance.

"But seriously, have you talked to Lucien?" Tristan asks.

"Theo's been doing some shady shit. Drug shit."

"You think I don't know? Lucien has other stuff to worry about right now. Dark Moon's been a fucking pain. They wanna expand into our territory."

"It just doesn't sit right with me, dude," Tristan shakes his head.

"That Theo's the next Alpha. It should be you."

"That's impossible. Theo's his son, it's just how it goes."

Tristan frowns.

"You're his son too."

"Barely."

"C'mon. You're not still beating yourself up over that, are you?"

"Tristan," Daemon's voice is filled with warning.

"I'm just saying," Tristan backs off, hands up in defense.

"Well, I gotta head out. Mr. Whiskers is gonna piss all over the floor if I don't feed him soon."

"You're so weird." Daemon shakes his head.

Tristan pulls on his helmet, flipping Daemon off.

"And you have anger issues."

"Get home to your cat, prick," Daemon shoots back as Tristan slings a leg over the bike, turning the gear and speeding off.

I quickly close the window before Daemon turns back to the house, so he won't see it's opened.

I sit underneath it for a while, processing all the information.

So the reason Dark Moon has been a problem is because of territorial expansion, not because of me.

Well, that's a relief.

That means Alpha Ferix doesn't know I'm here.

And that's a good thing.

But I don't get the other stuff they were talking about.

What would Daemon be beating himself up over?

Ugh, so many questions.

But I can't even bring myself to talk to him.

And I'm disappointed Daemon didn't say anything about me.

Like agree with Tristan that I'm cute or something.

Or say 'I was with Ash' not 'nothing important.'

Does that mean I'm not important to him?

These thoughts keep me lying awake in bed that night.

Another unopened message from Daemon lies in wait on my phone and I'm too scared to see what it says.

When I'm finally able to fade off to sleep, it's early morning.

********

I'm back in my old house.

I'm sitting by the fireplace, playing with a dirty one-eyed doll.

My mom sits in the kitchen, rhythmically slicing potatoes.

She keeps at it.

It seems like hours go by.

I watch as the pot she throws them into overflows.

"Mommy," I go over to her, confused.

"Mommy you're done. He said to the top is enough."

She looks up at me, her eyes red with blood.

"It's not enough. It will never be enough for him," her voice is distorted and I flinch back, scared.

That's not how mommy sounds.

The kitchen fades away and my mom is swept up into the darkness.

I'm back down in the basement.

I'm so hungry.

I'm so so so hungry.

I need food.

********

[illiana-mystery]

Don't Mind Him Harry, He's Just Jealous He's Not as Handsome as You...

[ryuzakemo128]

Incorrect Quotes - Peaky Blinders au (Part One)

Characters used: Alfie Solomons, Thomas Shelby. Plus Red (Female Reader)

(Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten )

(Divider by this person here )

Red: Hi. Alfie: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell him? Red: I did. Alfie: And what did he say? Red: “Thank you.” Alfie: You’re totally welcome. What’d he say? Red: He said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Thomas said, “Thank you.”

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Thomas: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Alfie: Did Red say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Thomas: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

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Red: Thank you all for coming. Thomas, wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here. Red: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck A Task Force". Alfie: Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

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Red: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this! Thomas: Apparently, we're not.

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Thomas, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. Red: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

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Red: Thomas, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee! Thomas: Rebuke? Is that a word? Red: You have all invoked my fury! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions! Thomas: What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?

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Thomas: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Red: Maybe we would, if you would STOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

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Red: Thank you for not saying "I told you so." Thomas: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

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Thomas: I am an expert at identifying birds. Red: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? Thomas: Yeah, they're all birds.

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Red, dramatically: They called me a fool. Thomas, sick of Red's shit: They weren’t wrong.

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Thomas, texting Red: I’m a theif. Red: Thief. Thomas: Theif. Red: I before E except after C. Thomas: Thceif. Red: NO.

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Thomas: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. Red: What changed your mind? Thomas: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

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Red: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT! Thomas: ...

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Red: Just be yourself. Say something nice. Thomas: Which one? I can't do both.

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Red: Thomas, fuck off. Red: And by "fuck off" I mean "fuck off right back here and listen", you insufferable prick.

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Thomas: *is visibly upset* Red: Thomas, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out Candyland wasn't an actual country.

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Thomas: You’ve got to learn to love yourself. Red: But don't you hate yourself. Thomas: Yeah, but this is about you. Stay focused.

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Red: Can I have some? Thomas, mouth full of cheesecake: It's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

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Thomas: Red... you've been cuddling with me for over an hour now. Red: *muffled* mm hmmm :) Thomas: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

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Thomas: Uptown Funk would've made it into the Shrek Soundtrack. Red: That's the truest statement I've ever heard.

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Thomas: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Red, are a fucking cactus.

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Red: Hey Thomas, can you give me the opposite of these words? Red: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Thomas: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Thomas: The fucking satisfaction.

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Thomas: What happened?! Red: Do you want the long version or the short version? Thomas: Sh-short?? Red: Shit's fucked. Thomas: Okay, long. Red: Shit's very fucked.

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Red: Hey, Thomas. What kind of flowers do you prefer? Thomas: I like sunflowers. Red, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit-

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Thomas: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it. Red: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

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Thomas: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Red.

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Red: Thomas, you love me, right? Thomas: Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

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Thomas: What happened to your nose? Red: I used it to break some guy's fist.

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Thomas: Hey. Red: Hey? Thomas: I can't sleep. :/ Red: I can. Goodnight

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Thomas: Hold on, I can explain! Red: Really? Can you now? Thomas: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

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Thomas, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are.. Red: THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

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Thomas: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie* Red: You can't just skip to the happy ending! Thomas: I don't have time for their problems.

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Red: Why are you always trying to aggravate me? Thomas: To relax.

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Thomas: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! Thomas: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Red: Thomas just threw a tantrum about a chair. Red: I just won Thomas Tantrum Bingo.

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Thomas: My life is a mess. Red: Thomas relax, go get a beer. Thomas: I don’t want a beer. Red Who said it was for you?

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Thomas: A decision had to be made. Red: And you fucked it up!

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Thomas: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck. Red: Who told you my secret?

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Thomas: You’re mean! Red: You’re meaner! Thomas: Yeah, well, you’re ugly too! Red: You’re uglier! Thomas: You’re a dumbass! Red: You’re a dumberass! Thomas: You think “dumberass” is a good insult!

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Thomas: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now. Red: There are no books in prison. Thomas: *sighs* Thank you.

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Thomas: Are you drinking enough water? Red: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

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Red: Thomas, you need to react when people cry! Thomas: I did. I rolled my eyes.

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Thomas: I think this might be a bad idea... Red: Don't start thinking on me now!

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Red: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Thomas: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Red: Th-that's not how that works-

[andthroughthewire]

You’ve heard me whine before but I wish so much there was more good Chuck meta that wasn’t just “he’s evil bye” (no he’s horrible *and* complicated) or the brain breaking take that I saw recently of “Chuck was right and it’s okay that he treated Jimmy badly even when Jimmy was a small child because Saul was always there” like I love every single person actor or creator talking about how fucked up these brothers are but that’s a finite resource

I'll compare Chuck and Walt since the show itself did and, well... they're both insufferable pricks but Walt is 'allowed' to be one because he represents this power fantasy to an unfortunate amount of viewers while Chuck is just a regular man with a laundry list of deep-rooted issues, he doesn't make bombs from God-knows-what and brings them to hospitals to blow up a meth kingpin. He also fills the role of the main antagonist and stands in the way of the main character so people are more inclined to just see him that way.

...or that's how it was for the first three seasons. I think his relapse and suicide either triggered some sort of 'do not speak ill of the dead' kind of thing or the same portion of viewers I mentioned earlier turned on Jimmy in a way they never did with Walt, probably because (for the most part) we are talking about normal people with normal problems and it's harder to justify a character when they're not larger than life or so far removed from our own experiences, if you get what I mean? As an example, I've never seen long dissertations about Lalo killing the guy from Travel Wire, but I've read countless posts on Reddit about how Jimmy and Kim's actions are somehow more morally deplorable than what Walt does in all of Breaking Bad.

So, in a way, I think that people's opinion of Chuck has more to do with how favourably they see Jimmy than Chuck himself. The same thing happened with Kim and Howard at the end of S5.

It's also just easier to see characters as either 100% good or bad no in between, but if there's anything Better Call Saul asks the viewers to do is to not do that. Not even Lalo is a moustache-twirling villain and genuinely cares about his uncle. Chuck doesn't get the benefit of the doubt characters like Lalo (or Jimmy!) do because he's not charismatic enough... or at all, honestly, which is kind of the whole point of his character and why he resents his brother so damn much and thinks he somehow manipulated his way to a law degree and passing the bar. Never mind the fact that having a way with words is kind of a requisite for being a good lawyer and Jimmy, Kim, Howard and Chuck all have that quality in different ways. But I'm going waaayyy off topic so I'll stop.

[mariana-oconnor]

Behind the cut there is going to be mostly senseless babbling about how much I love Vox Machina, so there are definitely going to be spoilers for episodes 1-9 of The Legend of Vox Machina, you have been warned.

Every week I watch and I just remember how much I love these characters and this story and it honestly reminds me how important stories are. Which is probably pretentious of me, but my favourite character is Percy so obviously I'm a little (lot) pretentious.

OKAY, so we have to start with Scanlan's one man invasion party. They included all the best parts of it. IT WAS AMAZING. Sure they adapted stuff because they can't exactly give out his spell list to the viewers, so Dimension door was changed a bit, but we had Triceratops Scanlan and the lightning bolt from the cube and... Just absolutely Scanlan at his fucking shit up best. And his little song as he walked back from it all.

THE SKY WRITING SPELL! I love it, I love it. I mean, it really plays their hand, but also... I just love it.

CASSANDRA! I will definitely have more to say about Cassandra next week because... well... if you're reading this you probably already know why. If you don't know why - I love Cassandra de Rolo, anyway. She is badass. That is all.

BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS BAD NEWS

And Pike. Pike PIKE. Oh Pike, I love you. I always find it amusing that most fans of the show have favourite characters and they're all different and you'll find someone who loves Vax and someone who loves Grog and someone who loves Vex and someone who loves Percy (coughmecough). But if you were to ask the actual characters who their favourite member of Vox Machina was - probably every single one of them would say Pike.

As I'd already seen the show, I was waiting for her astral self to show up and kick major undead ass and she did not disappoint. I'm so glad Scanlan's song over the end credits was about Pike. She deserves all the love. It's weird to think that she was in and out of campaign so much with Blindspot happening, when Pike is just such a major character in everyone's minds.

loveloveLOVED the way Percy was walking across the background while the others were all playing catch the tongue and how the mask just appears when he disappears behind one of them's head. LOVED the backstory we got with both him as an insufferable know-it-all of a big brother (I love him, but by god is he a prick sometimes... (Yes he absolutely reminds me of myself. I am all Percy's uncool parts and none of his cool parts)) and then him *discovering* the secrets of ballistics... ahem. Fuck yes.

I do want to see him interact with more of the team, though. We got some decent Percy & Vax antagonism in this episode, but I'd like to see more of his friendship with Keyleth and maybe some of the way Grog and he are kind of... unable to understand each other because they're coming at everything from opposite directions.

Did I mention I love Pike Trickfoot?

Also did I mention BAD NEWS?

The Vaxleth was strong in this. I remember Vax's 'you know I love you right', but I didn't think it happened in this part. I will confess that I don't remember the development of Vaxleth very well, though.

I was worried about watching these episodes. I've been worried about watching all of the episodes, that I won't like them as much as I think I will. But every time I watch an episode I have a huge grin on my face and I just want to... I just wish that there was some way I could express how incredibly happy this entire show is making me and how much I love these characters and this story and tell the Critical Role team in a way that is not creepy or weird... But trying to take a feeling that is in my chest and shove it at them is always going to be weird.

I've been in a weird non-creative place recently and this show, these characters, this whole thing, is just reminding me that stories mean things to people, because this means way more to me than by any logical measure it should. And it's good to remember that. I'm not going to get maudlin about this, because I absolutely could. I could write paragraphs of terrible over the top prose about the power of fiction. I think I might already have done that. But honestly, it would all just come out as 'life needs things to live' and... yeah.

But I'm also so happy that the Critical Role guys got to do this. That they got to see this. And I watch the opening sequence every time and it's always just as badass as the last eight times I watched it and it makes me so very overjoyed that it exists.

I'm going to stop gushing now.