#they're gonna get high blood pressure at this point

[hoshigray]

Just thinking about hate sex with Toji and how fucking exhilarating yet unforgiving it would be to experience such a thing with that man.

A/n: (Reuploaded bc I forgot smthn my bad) A little something for y'all so I can whip up something in my drafts to celebrate 50+ followers and getting 1k notes on my daddy toji drabble!! Tysm again for the love!!! :')))

Cw: mean dom! Toji x fem! reader - spanking (1x) - doggy style then switch to missionary position - degradation (Toji calls you a "lil' girl," "bitch," and "ho") - pet names (dollface, baby, baby cakes, sweetheart) - Toji biting your shoulder - slight bondage; the reader has their hands tied behind them - the reader feels humiliated while Toji is his cocky egotistic self - mention of blood.

Wc: 575

Toji's so ruthless with you. Your face's kissing the cold floor, hands tied behind your arched back for Toji to do whatever he wants with your ass on full display.

The pace of his hips is so absurdly harsh your legs feel as if they're about to give way, and you can do nothing but receive his irrational treatment. You can feel his dick use your swollen cunt like a toy, his girth stretching your poor southern lips, and it hurts along with the merciless rhythm.

You try not to cry as tears prickle under your eyelids. The fucker of a man already has you in a humiliating position, and his hands leave crescent markings from his fingers on the side of your hips. Seeing your face in tears is the last thing he needs to see.

Toji bends down to your ear, his body weight pressing down on yours, and it has to take you biting your lip hard to suppress a moan from your lips. The taste of blood sits on your taste buds.

"What's wrong, dollface?" The husky voice almost makes you squeeze hard on his cock. God, you hate this man so fucking much. "You were talkin' some high and mighty shit not too long ago, where'd that pretentious bitch go? Wanna — hnngh! Shit, shit… Wanna hear that sweet voice again."

You peer at him through your shoulder. The aggrieved glare isn't taken seriously by the older man. "Hmph, pretentious? Quite a big word, didn't think a brute like you knew i- Iiiyaaaaah!!!"

A hard smack to your ass has you gasping for air, followed by your pussy gripping his manhood, and Toji has to use your shoulders as leverage to not cum in haste. You feel as if you can't breathe with all this pressure and weight on top of you. A tear finally comes down from your face and smears onto the ground.

"I'm not playin' games with you, ho." Toji gnashes his teeth and draws downward to bite your shoulder blade, earning an ear-piercing shriek from you. That outta teach ya a lesson. "Got anythin' else smart to say, lil' girl?"

You can't fight the tears at this point, letting them slide down your pretty face. The pathetic and humiliating atmosphere clouds your senses so much so that crying is the only thing left to do.

"Hic…N-No…" Your sobs come out naturally, and you do what you can to hide your face from Toji.

That didn't seem to be in your favor because he heard the weep, bringing himself up to switch your position. Your front is now facing him as he can see the tear-stricken face, and the glare you give him is through squinted eyes filled with anger and misery, proof that your dignity is broken.

Toji whistles and smirks. "Heh, if you could see the look on your face, baby. I'd love to have a picture of it in my wallet."

"F…Fuck you." Your spat with words that still possess venom, even if you're physically restrained.

"News flash, baby cakes:" An unforeseen thrust has you yelp aloud, so harsh and savage that your back arches towards Toji. He sneers. "Already am."

His pace returns at its relentless tempo, his dick bullying your insides, and you moan in helpless whimpers. Toji leans down to grab your face before he kisses you to shut your cries. "And I'm gonna enjoy every moment of it, sweetheart."

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Again, tysm for the support!! It really fills my heart when y'all like my stuff, and I hope to continue writing things I like~~

[teeramoonlover]

This got me thinking.

Billy Loomis, Stu Macher/William Afton, and Bo Sinclair as they grew older, at some point they need someone from their own flesh and blood to continue their legacy, right?

So yeah those three gonna build one big happy family with reader, and their kids gonna be a bunch of satan's spawn but only being lovely to their own mom/dad/guardian.

And ofc in this case, those three lovely slashers ain't dead in these scenario.

Billy Loomis

As we all know, Samantha Carpenter is the infamous daughter of Billy Loomis. But what if Billy Loomis actually have another kid from the reader? I'm gonna assume this guy gonna be his son.

(My pov) His son definitely will hunt and kill the Ghostface, who dare to be like his dad. In his mind, he was like 'my dad and his friend are the only Ghostface, no one's gotta be like him. And it will stay that way'. So to ease his bloodlust, instead of killing innocents, why not just kill these Ghostface rookies. It's like they're asking for it, didn't they?

Not surprised to see he loves horror movies, maybe get inspiration from crime documentaries. High chance he is the mastermind and have many ways to lure those new Ghostface to him. Tempting to torture them like John Kramer did to his victims.

Oh and if his dad has mommy issue, bro got a whole daddy issues coming in. Like father, like son

Cast (Son): Benjamin Wadsworth

Born: 1997

Stu Macher/William Afton

If Stu Macher had a kid, ya bet his children gonna be a goofball like him? Wrong. In fact (from my pov), his son gonna double up from Stu's inner psychotic tendency in him. More aggressive, more violent and more unhinged. His son knew to embrace madness.

If Stu Macher become a killer because of peer pressure, this kid just pure psycho. Instead of being a friendly social butterfly or party king like his dad, he's the appitome of school's bad boy type of thing. It's either being mean or meanest.

Don't let me start on him becoming Micheal Afton.

If he gets proper love from his mom/guardian, he gonna be a big softie and overprotective (possessive) to his love ones. Gonna be hella toxic. He can be good, only with his mom/guardian, but to someone else? Rarely occasion.

Cast (Son): Drew Starkey

Born: 1996

Bo Sinclair

Ok first of all we all know, BO SINCLAIR IS A BEAST IN BED (rip reader's cunt/rim hole) and when he knew reader is pregnant, he was worried he might not be a good father figure to his kid until their first child born. Things change. Seeing his son's big blue eyes, like him, stir something in him. The Sinclair Jr made him soft. So ofc, Bo becomes bold and wants another child cuz he doesn't want his son to be lonely.

It's to be expected. To be apart of the Sinclair, they would eventually have twins sooner or later. Thank god both their son's head still intact in one piece. On the other hand, his three sons grew handsomely and receive motherly love from the reader.

The eldest, have a nasty tempered like his dad. You got on his way, he'll beat the shit out of you. He only be really nice to someone he care most, like his mama dearest. Always goes to church with his dad to see his grandma and help him in the garage.

The twins - The first twin (middle child) definitely got the charm from his dad. Knows how to be a sweetheart to ladies, but can be deadly once he hunt them for his uncle's sculpture. Most likely helping Vincent to build the museum. Might as well make an art museum next door too.

The second gonna be a rebellion, daredevil (youngest child) Well, not like strapping him to the chair. No no, mama won't like that. He loves adventure so definitely follow uncle Lester from town to town. He likes hunting, depends whether the prey will be animals or people. He can be nice. Charming too. Gonna be good friends with Stu's son, probably.

Cast (Sons): Eldest - Bill Skarsgård, Middle - Harris Dickinson, Youngest - Rudeth Pankow

Born: Eldest - 1994, Twins - 1996

Yep, one big chaotic, happy family indeed.

[eldritch-nightmare]

possible tw: blood, murder, ritual sacrifice, alcohol, many mentions of drunk people, brief mention of vomit though there isn't actually any in the story

idk man i'm just thinking about how the spot where jack got sacrificed is probably considered a 'party spot' by both high schoolers and college students so every party that matters always takes place there because people love to be cool and edgy and don't care about the fact that it was a spot of ritual sacrifice and that the cult members performing the sacrifice were all brutally murdered by some unknown killer.

and i'm thinking of you being dragged to a raging party there by your friends. you didn't want to go, you had like multiple papers to write and your professor was giving you absolute shit for not meeting the deadline like everyone else but your friends don't care.

"you need to relax! have some fun! live a little!"

that's their reasoning, and it's not like you can just ditch now. you were the designated driver, and you're far too nice to just abandon your friends at a party while they're all getting shitfaced.

anyways, the party is filled with other students from your college. most of them are drunk, and the place is honestly starting to feel like a scene out of a shitty slasher. you're half expecting jason voorhees to walk out of the forest and murder everyone here.

that doesn't happen, thankfully.

no, instead, over the blaring music blasting through the bluetooth speakers, the host/DJ of the party announces that in memory of the many that were sacrificed at the altar everyone was partying around, an offering should be made.

an offering of blood, that is.

which... that's a fucked up thing to suggest, you think. people died. people were killed here. it's fucked up enough that there was a party going on here in the first place, but to make light of something so tragic in such a way just feels disrespectful to the people that died.

and maybe it's because of the alcohol almost everyone here was drinking, or maybe it's some form of peer pressure but everyone, including your friends, seemed to dig the idea.

maybe this is a low-budget cult classic slasher...

you honestly weren't even paying attention to what was being said anymore, instead going over to one of your friends to tell them you were just gonna wait in the car until they were ready to leave.

but when you were stepping away from them to do just that, they were suddenly grabbing your hand and holding it up while excitedly pointing at you.

"they'll do it!"

"excuse me?"

because you're not even sure what the hell your friend just signed you up for, and you didn't even have a chance to do anything before you were being pushed forward and then dragged towards the altar.

you resisted, of course, because you did not want to take part in whatever it was they had planned. you're quite content with your blood staying inside of your body. where it belongs.

it's harder to fight against multiple drunk people than you thought it would be.

"guys, this isn't fucking funny, stop it-"

a blindfold is being forced on you, robbing you of your sight as you're forced down onto the altar. then your hands were bound together, which was only putting you further on edge because it honestly felt like they were actually going to 'sacrifice' you.

your demands for this to stop were ignored as the host of the party went on and on about the tragic murders that took place here and how your blood would appease the angry spirits of the 'poor lambs' that were slaughtered. the guy was starting to sound like a member of a cult, honestly.

which... considering the location, coupled with the sudden demand for sacrifice... well. you're really hoping this was a joke, honestly.

this was starting to go on for far too long to feel like a joke anymore, so your annoyance began to bleed away to genuine fear, "guys, seriously. this isn't funny."

and when you felt the sharpness of an actual blade press up against your neck, you began to realize that this situation was actually dangerous.

"let the sacrifice commence!"

and the blade against your neck pressed down hard enough to draw blood, but before any real damage could be done, the screaming started.

you're... not sure if this was part of the sudden impromptu ritual you found yourself in.

it sounded genuine. one person started screaming, and then another. until everyone at the party was seemingly screaming. the blindfold over your eyes prevented you from seeing what was happening around you, but the blade pressed against your throat was suddenly gone and you could hear it clanging as it was dropped on the altar.

"run!"

"oh my god, what is that?!"

"h-hey man! it was just a joke!"

"don't hurt me! please don't hurt me!"

and then everything went silent. too silent. even the air was still. you were far too afraid to move, even more scared to speak.

but that's when footsteps filled the silence, and you could hear as they approached you.

you couldn't help but flinch when you felt a hand grab your bound wrists. you tensed up, waiting for the worst. instead, you felt the rope binding your hands together come undone.

another hand pulled your blindfold down, and your blood ran cold at the scene surrounding you. there were bodies everywhere. some were still twitching. all of them were gruesomely murdered, their throats ripped out.

you had to force yourself not to vomit, especially when you recognized a few of the bodies to be your friends.

but the carnage around you seemed to pale in comparison to the man that stood in front of you. he was... very much not human. he wore a mask, so the only feature of his face that you could see was his eyes. or... lack thereof.

he didn't say a word, and for a moment, you didn't either. but the silence was too loud.

"are you going to kill me?"

and he tilts his head slightly at the question. the mask he wore hid away his expression, so you weren't sure if your question confused him or amused him.

he doesn't speak, but he does step away from you. that was enough to tell you that no, he did not plan on killing you. you don't say anything else after that, and you don't take your eyes off of him until he leaves you alone on the altar, surrounded by numerous bodies.

the drive back to your dingy little apartment was deathly silent. you were alone, but you didn't feel alone. and when the morning came, news broke about the massacre. every body there had its organs missing, and the police had no leads on who the killer was.

the blade that had your blood on it was gone, so there was no evidence that you were ever even at that party.

and after that night, every night to follow it was... different. even when inside the safety of your own home, you felt as if you weren't alone. something was watching you. you knew who it was, you just chose not to acknowledge it.

the glimpses of blue that you caught outside your window every other night was enough to confirm your suspicions.

you aren't sure why he was watching you. maybe it was to make sure you didn't go to the police, though you sincerely doubt they'd believe a word you said if you tried. or maybe it was something else.

you don't know. but you caught his attention.

you can only hope that nothing bad comes from that.

[gothbass]

(Images mostly from Pinterest)

One Of Us (Pt. 3)

★ Rhea Ripley x [afab] Reader

Warnings: 18+ [vamp!rhea x vamp!reader], immediate smut, silicone strap-on, continued odaxelagnia, bloody makeout sesh, praise, lyric reference [On Accident — Nico Collins], [sadist!rhea x masochist!reader], choking (kink), mention of aftercare (cliffhanger).

Word count: 845.

As she eyes you up and down, you carefully lower yourself onto the silicone—almost choking on the hitch in your throat as you do so. Rhea, dominating as she is, takes the lead through bucking her hips upward to push into you.

Within merely a few minutes, her force increases, causing you to cover your mouth—as to not be too loud. Though, this attempt is short-lived. Rhea forces your hand away from your mouth (and holds it in hers against the headrest of the swivel chair). As a replacement, she covers your mouth with her own—muffling any moans either of you release. In other, more blissful words, she aids in muffling your pleasure with another source of pleasure (a very lengthy kiss, that is).

Slowly bucking your hips forward, while Rhea speedily thrusts in and out of you, you ride out your high point with heavy, shallow breath. As your release takes place, Rhea pulls her mouth away from yours. While she catches her breath, you sink your fangs into her neck—causing her to let out a moan (which, in turn, causes your bite pressure to increase).

Blood seeps down her neck, like a dark red wine. You absorb the blood into your mouth before engaging with Rhea in a blood-filled makeout session.

“Any other plans for tonight?” Rhea asks, just in-case.

“You’re the only subject listed on my to-do list, don't you worry—Mami,” you respond with a wink.

“Good.”

You raise a brow. “Is that so?”

“Is it not?”

“I believe it may be.”

“Then it is so.”

“Good.”

Rhea uses a free hand to cup your throat. “Don’t steal my lines,” she enforces, in a rather dominating tone.

“Make me,” you rebel. Your cheek twitches as the words come out with little forethought.

Rhea’s face barely flushes. “Oh, trust me,” she starts; “I will,” she whispers into your ear—sending a hard shiver down your spine and almost forcing you to moan. By now, your own face is flushed. “Aww, you like that?”

“Y-yes, Mami,” you mutter, trying not to let your face get any redder than it already is.

“What was that, darling? I couldn't hear you.”

“Yes, Mami,” you speak a little louder and more concisely.

“Good girl,” she licks her lips, scanning your body from bottom to top.

“Now, I could add in a little treat for you…but it's hard to tell if you deserve it…”

You look into her eyes, almost pleadingly. “What do I have to do? What's it gonna take?”

“So eager and needy, aren't you?”

“Only for you.”

“In that case—all you'll have to do, in order to receive this little treat, is (continue to) be a good girl for me. It shouldn’t be that hard,” she smirks. She cups your jaw with one hand and forcefully pulls you in for a kiss.

As the kiss persists, Rhea grips you by the ass and lifts you onto the desk. Her arms are positioned in a plank-like manner, as if to keep you pinned down. Even so, she takes the time to reposition your legs so that they're resting over her shoulders. She pulls away from the kiss and smirks before thrusting into you for a second round, adjusting ever so slightly just to hit the right spots.

With a rush in your body and a torrent of color flooding within you (lyrics reference), you swiftly buck your hips upward to increase the knot in your stomach by around tenfold. While doing this, you pull Rhea in by the choker and bite into her neck. She lets out a moan that sounds like it's been held in for an eternity; the oxytocin from merely hearing it sends a flash flood of heat through your body.

“Shh,” you whisper to her, “not so loud.”

She responds by striking a slap across your face, but it doesn't bother you.

“Do it again, I dare you,” you threaten, but she doesn't dare—purely because you're tempting her to.

“Maybe if you beg, sweetheart,” Rhea teases, coyly. Both her accent and her low tone of voice cause a wave of heat to flush your face and slightly furrow your brows. You lean your head back out of supposed heat, your back arching as well.

“Maybe if you make me, Mami,” you tease in return, also coyly. Yet, without needing to beg, Rhea strikes a slap across your face.

“Behave,” she scolds, forcing a hand to your throat. You gasp for air and struggle to breathe, though you just barely manage.

As the sound of your struggled breathing floods Rhea’s sense of hearing, she drives into you hard enough to force a small amount of blood to secrete from within you. You wince in pain as you ride out your high while simultaneously being choked out just hard enough to obstruct your airway so that any vocal bliss would not be released.

“Good girl,” you hear Rhea praise, though it sounds muffled.

She releases her grasp on you, clothes the both of you, then walks you into the women’s restroom to clean you up.

[Series Masterlist]

Part 4

[boizandgurlzinthehouse]

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 ; 𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐤𝐢 𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐱 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏. 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐.  𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑. 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟒.

word count: 2.371k (i'm sorry 😭😭😭) trigger warning: swearing, kissing

the fact of preparing their first actual concert caused her goosebumps every time she thought about it. getting platformed high heels, faux fur coats and faux leather jackets, body painting and hairspray, it was fucking exciting for her. she and the boys made pictures, then cutting themselves out, y/n was the one who went to the press, where she could get thousands of posters. mick was the one who got the place, and they played the songs on every day of the week. sticking out posters with jessica's and the other girls' help, y/n ran around whole los angeles.

and now, here they were, minutes from stepping out to perform for the first time. drawing with her eyeliner, y/n looked at the others: tommy spinned his drumstick between his fingers, nikki was puffing his hair up on her side, mick played his guitar and vince stretched out the pants his girlfriend bought him.

"man, my girlfriend spent like, 8000 bucks on these leather pants. you like 'em?" he asked tommy.

"they're cool, bro."

"you say everything's cool, drummer." mick muttered, getting a nod from y/n. she turned away from the mirror, standing up in her platform high heels that give at least 6 inches to her height. all the boys begin to snicker, nikki whistled as she adjusted her black bodycon dress. y/n had red and black makeup, dusting her cheeks in highlighter.

"what the fuck are those, y/n?" vince asked, getting her attention. she turned in her shoes, striking a pose.

"these are my favorite shoes. i stole it from a shop, so i hope the owner or the cashier is not gonna be here tonight." she answered, testing that the heels weren't unstable.

"you look so mad girl, like a rocker barbie! could you do my eyes for the next time?"

"of course, toms."

"so you think there's gonna be anybody out there tonight?"

vince's question was the one that y/n was interested about too. she feared a little that it's gonna be a big disgrace, but they had only minutes, and she had a lot worse situations in her life.

"we put up enough fliers, i hope so."

"it's gonna be fine, guys." y/n added. "first concerts are always the most difficult ones, but we had rehearsals many, many times. whatever happens, we're here for each other, right?"

"that's right, princess." nikki answered her as he stood up, making y/n snicker. he wore red high heels, fucking red high heeled boots! "what's up?"

"you all were wondering about what i wear, but you wear fucking red high heeled boots too! what the fuck?"

"it's called style."

"no, it's called women footwear."

stepping out, her heartbeat began to increase as fast as a ferrari. there weren't many people, but maybe it was better. if the 'concert' is shit, then there's not any people to brag about it. okay, y/n, you just quit your job, you moved out and moved in with a junkie runaway, and you banded up with four guys for this shit. you aren't a slutty pole dancer from right now on, you're a fucking rock star.

"you all right?" mic asked her as she exhaled an inhaled, making her nod.

"yeah, yeah."

nikki taped the song list on of the speakers, scattered applause could be heard. vince tapped y/n's shoulder, as she walked in and took out the microphone from its stand.

"hello everybody! we're mötley crüe." she said, the lights coming onto her. tommy tried to drum some solo, but with too big drive, he accidentally knocked over one of the drums.

"fuck!" he muttered, hurrying to pick it up. some of the audience laughed at this, making y/n's blood pressure driving up. keep calm, keep calm, keep calm.

"come on!" nikki whispered to tommy turning around, getting a glance from y/n. this is his first actual concert, bloopers like this are fine. or so she thought. everybody was on the edge.

"you suck!"

"get off the stage!"

y/n spinned the microphone, pointing to the dudes who yelled these words.

"hey you two, fuck y'all! let's rock this hole!"

starting to play live wire, y/n almost forgot the bad comments, but she was wrong in her assumption that those assholes gonna stop.

"who's the chick singer? and the other chick?"

"she's the band-whore or can i fuck her too after the concert? because if yes, then i'll stay!"

wait wait wait, what the fuck did he just say? y/n stopped in her movements, looking at vince.

"fuck you, asshole." the blonde said, getting the buff guy with a beard spit on his jeans. those famous, white leather jeans.

y/n smirked as she saw vince getting off the stage. hell could break loose, because she's not gonna let some fuckers humiliate her neither.

as vince fell back, she got into the eyesight of the buff guy, but she saw from the corner of her eye that nikki was on the way, swinging his guitar. mick still played the song, and somehow this was just fucking funny. grabbing the microphone, she used the cable to swing into the other guy's face, the whole room filled with a sharp piping. before she could enjoy her first knock-out, someone grabbed her hair to hit her face, exactly her nose. it was just the edge of it, but still, it hurt like a bomb exploded on her face.

"how the fuck dare you hit her?" she heard nikki, getting into the fight, diverting a guy from her, so now, it was a one versus one. swiping off the blood, she got up, eluding a hit from the guy who hit her, she kicked with her fucking perfect shoes right into the middle of his crotch, getting him falling back, grabbing his dick with two hands. one guy hissed from the audience.

"how the fuck dare you to touch my hair?" as the guy stood up, she was ready to kick again, but one security guy hold her arms back, another trying to keep back the guy. as he tried to break out, y/n kicked him in the face from drive, a little blood falling on the floor. this got a bigger 'ow' from the audience.

"it's enough, chill out, lady!" the security guy told her, letting her go as he and the other tossed the guys out, she picked up the microphone that she used as a weapon. tommy just stopped beating the last guy, she stumbled back to vince and nikki. y/n didn't even noticed that everybody got silent while they were probably just doing things on their own way.

this was over. this was fucking cool, but seriously, who'd want to go to a band's concert that beats their audience, even if they're fucking assholes?

"FUCK YEAH, MÖTLEY CRÜE!" a guy yelled, breaking the silence, clapping as loud as he could. others began to clap too, and soon, the whole room echoed from the applause. she felt nikki's tap on her shoulder, singing her to get up to the stage again. with the microphone in her hand, she was happy that it still worked.

"you alright, y/n?" vince asked, making her turn to him, hugging her.

"oh, yeah, i'm fucking fine, and you?"

"everything's alright. your nose is bloody."

"again?" she asked disappointedly, trying to wipe the blood off with little to no success.

as they stood back, tommy began to play the drums, y/n looked at nikki. reaching out, he swiped off the blood from her nose, touching her lips while looking into her eyes. she wanted smudge the black paint on his face with her lips ad her fingers, it was fucking hot, and she felt her knees going weak a little bit. she only smiled, every sound was muffled by the guitar that mick played.

the concert was successful in the end, some people got in the bar through the concert. y/n made little gigs, she let vince spin her, shaking her body and throwing her hair like she was a vogue model, in her ridiculously high platformed heels, twisting the cable of the microphone around her arm.

after their third concert, y/n was blowing a cigarette as she talked with the people who went to mötley crüe's concert, and soon, she felt an arm around her shoulders.

"what's up, princess?" nikki asked from her, and in exchange, she let her took a drag from her cigarette as she took it to his mouth.

"nikki? oh my god, your riff was so cool! i loved it so fucking much!" the guy said, making y/n and nikki smile. "can i ask you something, guys?"

y/n furrowed her eyebrows, then shrugged her shoulders.

"you already did it, mate." she said, getting a slight laugh from the others who were listening to them.

"are you two a couple?"

"excuse me?" she asked, looking at nikki, who seemed at least as surprised as she, if not more.

"sorry, excuse me! just, like, you two just give off the energy."

at this, y/n choked on the smoke she just inhaled, coughing a little while nikki laughed.

"you hear that, princess? we seem like a couple." nikki said loudly, licking her hair, her temple wetted from his tongue.

"fuck you, sixx. you know, the problem is, that there's too much testosterone on the stage with those four boys."

"yeah, we can feel that! but you're like a rock angel, y/n, i don't have seen many good frontwomen, but you're cool. you fill up the stage with vince, and it's not like you're there because you're just a wannabe-rockstar chick, you act casually."

"thank you." y/n muttered, leaning into nikki. "but no, we're not a couple. that'd fuck up the band, i think."

going home, nikki nudged y/n's shoulder, y/n tossed on him in exchange. they were drunk, y/n could barely walk on her big heels, grabbing into his arms before this little gig.

"oh, really?" he said, spinning and pinning her to the phone booth. trying to move, she whined from the nikki's arm that didn't let her go, trying to sneak out from it, he shook his head, tutting. "what now, princess?" he asked.

"let me go." she whined, giggling, trying to toouch the ground with her legs. nikki was taller than her, and in her drunk state, she couldn't deny that it was really hot.

"for a kiss." looking at him, y/n smiled and looked away.

"nope."

"come on, just a little kiss."

the girl shrugged her shoulders the best she could, whispering in his ear. "i don't want to be your one-timer, nikki. i'm not in your band just to fuck with you, and if we want to do this, we have to do it proper."

"proper? what do you know about proper dating?" he pulled up his eyebrows.

"i just know that they didn't say that i'm your whore, they said that we look like a couple. don't make your fans disappointed, nikki."

"my fans? our fans. fuck them, i don't want to make you disappointed. i'm not good in relationships, i mostly had flings, so you can take my relationship-virginity."

"really? you want it? a relationships has boundaries and duties, are you ready for that?" she asked. she haven't felt ready either, but she loved to watch the wonder on nikki's face.

"i'm not sure... but you know what i'm sure about?" he spat the words, brushing their noses together, making her smirk and giggle again, she tried to bite him but he leaned away.

"what?"

"i'm sure that i want to give you everything."

y/n stopped in her motion, and for a moment, she got sober. did he really want to be in a relationship with her? come on, their band and their career basically just started, what if they break up in two weeks? if they really gonna make it, facing each other through long years is not gonna be easy.

"fuck, nikki." she muttered, tilting her forehead to his.

"fuck you, y/n, for not believing in me. what if i want to travel the world with you? to play in big stadiums, getting stupidly rich and high and have good sex? and of course, caring about each other, and all those lovey-dovey shit you girls like?" he said, brushing his lips against her forehead, then her cheeks, her nose, edging her. y/n's lips began to burn from lacking his lips on hers.

"i like that lovey-dovey shit." y/n answered, stroking his face.

"then i'll give it to you." he towered over her. "just say that you want it, that you want to be my girlfriend." nikki's whisper wandered around her mind. just say that you want it. i'll give it to you.

fuck, why not? y/n stroked nikki's face, smiling, and she felt that in seconds, a bomb's gonna explode.

"i want it, nikki."

nikki smiled, leaning closer to touch his lips with hers. grabbing the back of his neck, curling his black locks around her fingers, y/n bit into his lips.

"fuck, it's so crazy how you got me feel for you in fucking weeks." he muttered, trying to get her legs around her waist, but y/n tapped on his chest.

"stop, niks, i don't want to be on some handycam recorded sex-tapes that leaks out after we get famous." she muttered, making him laugh.

"me neither. only i get to see what's underneath these pretty clothes." he slapped her ass as they began to walk home. "can we continue this at home?"

y/n clicked with her tongue, holding onto his arm.

"i don't know... i need to shower first, the concert got me sweaty. and bloody, fuck."

"you were so fucking hot as you were fighting those guys."

"were i good?" she asked, leaning her head onto his arm.

"you were amazing, baby. you kicked out at least two of that asshole's teeth." nikki replied, making her giggle. "did you learn this at the orphanage?"

"i learned it in life. but orphanage was hard as hell, too."

"but now you are in perfect hands. well, not perfect, but pretty good hands."

"your hands?" y/n looked up, smiling as she brushed her nose against his jawline.

"my hands." nikki nodded, kissing her.

a/n: i know it's short, but i got a lot of work )): hope u don't mind. see u in the next chapter!!

taglist: @xamapolax

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Episode 12 Thoughts

Spoilers for TBB Season 2

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Omg this episode was good but it hurt so much! 😭 We got Crosshair back but at what cost? 🥲

I'm gonna write this as I rewatch the episode so let's go!

The opening is so bleak, especially with the soundtrack and the sepia hue that everything in the opening shot has.

Seeing clones being forced out of their role hurts. 😭

Love how we all thought that it was going to be a clone Lieutenant.

It wasn't. It was a fucking arsehole instead. 😡

Ugh, I missed Crosshair so much. 😭

"I don't like used equipment"

BITCH THE FUCKING AUDACITY! 🤬

Mayday's beard is ✨️ fabulous ✨️

Also a clone named Mayday? That's just asking for him to get into trouble. 😭

Why do I recognise the name Veetch??? Have we heard it before or am I just making stuff up now???

I knew something was going to happen to Mayday but let's be real, we all fell in love with him in under half a second. 🥲

I can see why DBB loved him!

The slight hesitation before he said "Crosshair". 🥲 Cody was the last person to use his name. It probably still throws him off when people actually want to use it.

The clone helmets arranged on the boxes. 😭

The clone designs with the wraps!!! 🤩 It's kind of giving Egyptian Mummy Chic but I'm not mad about it. It looks awesome!

Ice vultures. Just what this planet needed.

I was right about the tower shot being this episode!

THE PANIC I FELT WHEN CROSS HURT HIS EYES

Ngl, it's not often you see blood in SW animation. But it was used really well in this episode! Enhances the creepy vibe.

R.I.P Hexx and Veetch. 😔

THE RAGE I FEEL EVERY TIME LIEUTENANT FUCKFACE TURNS UP

Crosshair I don't need you stepping on pressure mines!!! 😭

I actually love this moment so much. Low on action, high on tension, good dialogue.

Crosshair talking about CF 99 😭😭😭

The raiders sound almost Tusken. 🤔 Wonder if they're Tuskens that left Tatooine and evolved to a lifestyle on this planet or whether they evolved completely separately.

Crosshair, mate. I understand the explosion plan but I don't need you setting off an avalanche.

The way they slide down the hill! 🤣

Ugh everything in this episode just makes me sad.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what? " 🥲

CROSSHAIR WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT AVALANCHES

Crosshair looking genuinely terrified always hurts

If anyone comes out with the "Crosshair likes working for the Empire" bullshit- 🤬

The way he puts Mayday's helmet on to make sure his head is protected 😭

Jeez, they weren't kidding about "heartbreaking". This is painful to watch.

This entire episode is proof that while Cross may be an arsehole, he isn't completely heartless or evil like some people want to believe.

THE WAY THEY'RE HUDDLED UP AND SHAKING YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME 😭

He gave his rifle to Mayday as a crutch

THE PAIN IN HIS VOICE WHEN HE SAYS "HELP HIM" AHHHHH I FEEL SICK WHY DOES THIS SHOW HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭

MAYDAY NOOOOO 😭

Crosshair is so fucking angry

GOOD! GET ANGRY! LEAVE THE EMPIRE!

The bird circling and Crosshair looking over at Mayday, panicked. He knew that they were just going to leave him to be scavenged. 😥

GOODBYE LIEUTENANT FUCKFACE!

CROSSHAIR YOU POOR THING! 😢

He's so broken and defeated. Help.

The next bullet point is an accurate recreation of how I reacted the first time to the ending. 👇

WHAT? NO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T END IT THERE! YOU CAN'T END IT THERE!!! Oh, it's not the end... wait what... oh no I've changed my mind I'VE CHANGED MY MIND GO BACK GO BACK THIS IS WORSE THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE

Parallel to when we see him wake up in Ep 3 ☹️

FUCK NO

DON'T MAKE HIM ANOTHER CLONE X!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARDS!!!

Someone come and save him 😭

I feel sick. Everything hurts. 😥

So errr.... hahaha... ha... ouch...

This episode was so good but omg it was so painful! People weren't kidding when they said "bleak" and "heartbreaking". ☹️

I can see why DBB loved Mayday so much. He was great! I knew it wouldn't end well for him but it's impossible not to love him. But the fact that Crosshair collapsed before he could bury him means that he was probably still left to the vultures. 😭 It's poignant really. The clones don't get a heroic end. After everything they did, the Empire are just gonna cast them out and leave them to rot...

And Crosshair! 😭 That man was in so much turmoil this episode. Him opening up to Mayday just the tiniest fraction by telling him his name and squadron. The quiet fear when he stepped on the pressure mine. The panic when he was covered by the avalanche. The panic when he dug himself out. The fear when he found Mayday. The anguish as he carried Mayday all the way back. The heartbreaking pain when they were huddled up and shivering. The desperation when he asked for them to get a medic. The anguish of "help him". The panic when he knows that they're going to leave Mayday for the vultures. The pure, visceral, seething rage when he kills Nolan. The pain when he collapses. The fear and delirium when he wakes up in the lab. It's all too much.

And what breaks my heart even more is the close up of his face after he collapses. He looks asleep, calm. The only time in this entire episode when he actually looks peaceful is when he's passed out from exhaustion!

This man is going through it so badly and it's so painful to watch. I'm scared to see what's going to happen to him but if the later episodes are of the same quality as this one then the end of this season is going to be incredible.

Tagging @snarkyfina @saturn-sends-hugs and @phis-writing because they normally want to see people's thoughts on this!

And also tagging @eriexplosion if they want to add anything. But I know that they are also suffering after this episode. 🥲

Edit: Just went back and fixed a few typos I didn't realise I'd made. Probably still missed some but this episode stressed me out too much to care. 🤣

[timedontgiveashit]

My opinion about the new Kills album

I ended up writing this on reddit as a comment since there are more people willing to talk about music on that site, so I copy it here now, for those who care with some additions. At first I didn't know what to do with the whole album, then I realized it's good, just different good. I wouldn't say it's their best album ever, rather their trendiest ever, but I get that why the change was needed. I appreciate Jamie's bravery and openness musically, but my favorite Kills albums are still Midnight Boom and Ash & Ice. Nobody sounds like Jamie on guitar. The more Jamie riffs I get the happier I am and there's not a lot left on this album. For the first listen My Girls My Girls made me laugh, because how upbeat it is (on purpose, i guess), the instrumental part is funnily contradicting with the lyric. I get that it has a big potential to be chanted live, but I don't vibe with that song. Maybe I didn't pick the bad times to feel good haha. L. A. Hex is too mellow for me. The rest of the album grew on me. It needs more than one listen for sure. I really love and became addicted with Kingdom Come, Love And Tenderness (this one sounds like a Dead Weather song), and Going To Heaven. The singles are working better in the context of the album than individually. Alison is always on point with the vocals, no matter what's going on in the instrumental parts she's gonna turn it to gold. I knew a song like Blank is going to happen since Impossible Winner landed on the last Dead Weather album. 103 sounds too much like Goodnight Bad Morning, I love the guitar tone though. I've had high expectations about Bullet Sound and funnily it doesn't do a lot to me, it's just ok. However I can hear this is maybe the most well written song from the whole album, but I still waiting for this to click in my brain, maybe a live version will do it. It sounds like if it would be from the Blood Pressures album which I didn't like that much, maybe that's it.

Anyway, I'm excited to hear how the new album is going to sound live especially since Jamie said they're going to play without hired musicians this time and it's going to sound different than the album. My guess is they're gonna use more loops and guitar in the live versions. Edit: I was right, they used loops and more guitar in the live versions, and all those new songs they played in France are sounded better except for L.A. Hex, I don't think that song changes for the better live unlike Better days which was my other less favorite from the album, but I really loved the live version from the ARTE concert. Wasterpiece grew on me the most, I adore that bassline, it makes me excited, and it works so good live as a starter song. Love and Tenderness is the best yet in live too, Alison ate that up just as I expected and New York too. I can't wait to hear the live version of the rest of the new songs with more guitar. (Maybe I'm gonna write a part 2 from this post about the lyrics and some other Kills related stuff)

[mermaidsirennikita]

You mentioned how authors are forced to write differently with trad publishing vs indie , which ones do u mean? I'm curious...

"Forced" probably isn't the right word, but "heavily encouraged" [by the companies signing the checks] is closer.

Here's the thing with traditional publishing right now. You walk into a bookstore or Target or whatever--you may very well find some very high heat books. I've seen Sierra Simone in Target. However, all those titles were originally published independently, and Sierra works with a publisher who essentially strikes a deal where they handle print and get the books into those stores, whereas (from what I can tell) she maintains the digital rights.

Traditional publishing offers some releases that are quite high heat, but like... Tessa Bailey's trad books, for example, aren't touching the upper echelons of indie in terms of heat. Because trad is meant to appeal to as broad an audience as possible, and tbh, trad has been swinging safer in a lot of ways.

Ali Hazelwood's books are praised for being high heat--The Love Hypothesis only has one full sex scene, though it's long. If you've read Ali's fanfiction (... which I have) she writes way dirtier than that. She mentioned on a podcast that when they were shopping TLH, she was encouraged by her agent to trim the sex down to make her MS more appealing to publishers. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.

With historical romance, I think there's a little more tension, because trad is very confused about who they're marketing historicals to. Like, some of them still seem to be pointed towards conservative white ladies imo--women who want a very sort of... straight, missionary, wait until the wedding night type of historical. Whereas I think they should be making more of an appeal to a younger gen. Some of them seem to be basically giving up on that, though. But I digress.

ANYWAY.

Authors I can think of right now--Minerva Spencer writes indie historical romance under the pen name S.M. LaViolette. Some of the LaViolette books are straight up erotic historical romance so obviously they're higher heart than her trad books. But even those that aren't are much higher heat than her traditional books. Like Hyacinth for example--not an erotic historical imo, but it has waaaay more sex scenes, and more creativity (hero coming untouched during a whipping scene, butt stuff which you HARDLY EVER see in trad historicals).

Joanna Shupe has published trad and indie HR. I consider her books on the higher heat end of trad historicals. However, if you read her indie novellas, they are higher heat, they're kinkier--all that. Lol never mind her mafia romances which are a very different game. In indie, Joanna did a BIG age gap romance, a virgin auction romance, a scene where the hero licked up his come and the heroine's ~virgin's blood~ after he deflowers her... you're not gonna see that in trad lol.

Eva Leigh also writes on the higher end of the heat scale in trad, but her indie historicals are different--and it isn't just the explicitness or quantity. As with Joanna, it's the kink, too. The creativity. She wrote MFM, age play, etc. You can just go a lot further.

And I mean? I would also say that you can see a big difference in authors that aren't hybrid. Grace Callaway has tons of sex scenes in her historicals, and they're long and creative and she DOES in fact include butt stuff in the books! Nicola Davidson does really fun poly historicals. When Sierra Simone wrote historicals, there was obviously group sex, kinky stuff, etc.

You just see a really big chasm, bigger than I'd say you see with other subgenres, between trad HR and indie HR. And I can only assume that it's because of an industry pressure. With indie, you can do whatever you want. With trad, there's a standard to conform to because before you sell to readers, you're selling to a publisher.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

High and horny, thinking about getting a super inexperienced Nanami to smoke with you or have an edible and him being a horny, touchy hide of high. He's hard again his casual clothes, whining against your neck and begging for a hand on his cock. A needy Nanami who begs for your hand but cries for your pussy and fucks desperately up into you, grabs you by the hips and bounces you until you squirt on his lap.

Shut UP, listen to me

Taking a hit and grabbing Nanami's jaw, having him open his mouth and leaning in like you're gonna kiss him before blowing the smoke in his mouth and he just moans—

Ok anyways aldjladjak

God, okay, listen: i don't think Nanami cares about getting high—he's content with alcohol, he doesn't see the point of weed—but he is curious and indulges you, breathing in your second hand smoke and it's just so much. You've only taken two hots and he's already dizzy and tugging at his clothes bc it's? So hot all of a sudden? And his clothes feel so weird, it's like they're itching at his skin, his cotton shirt suddenly feels like electricity running along his skin, he's just so sensitive. He's trying to stay calm, sipping water, leaning back against the couch to relax, but his blood is pumping so quickly through his veins and he just can't keep his eyes off of you.

Jesus, he's so lost and you've just started feeling your buzz. He's reaching for you, beckoning you to come close, let him touch you, get on his lap, grind your hips down against his. He's aching for some friction, he just needs you to touch him, he just needs a little pressure to calm him down, but he's so high strung. His cock is throbbing, suffocating in his pants and he starts begging you to take him out. Please touch him, please help him, please make this ache go away, it's just torture at this point. And you do and it feels so good, but it's not enough. Your hand feels like heaven but he needs more, he needs something warmer, wetter, tighter, something that'll suck him in and milk him dry.

You can't say no to him, so it's no wonder that he's able to undress the two of you in a matter of minutes before lowering your sopping cunt onto his burning cock. His pace is relentless despite his sluggish state, his grip leaving bruises on your ass and thighs. He's mumbling a number of different, none of it making sense but dear god his gruff voice alone makes your cunt weep. You're amazed that he's able to make you cum in his inebriated state let alone last for as long as he does, but you're not exactly complaining about your multiple orgasms. By the time you're done, your high has worn off and Nanami has regained his composure. He's apologetic, but not too much, still on cloud nine after cumming. Maybe there are some benefits to smoking weed every now and then. He'd have to try it again sometime...

Actually... you do still have half a joint left... maybe you could go for round two after a quick meal?

[most-annoying-sponsorship]

Any submitted propaganda under the cut

Raycon - 10

God awful earbuds with 3 times the price of similar quality with the same script every god damn time at least allow creators to do something with it. Not an active scam product but they try so hard to market themselves like one and I don't understand.

1. It's been a while but at it's height, you couldn't get through a video without seeing someone shilling these subpar earbuds. 2. They're literally earbuds bought off of alieexpress with a fancy brand slapped over the top 3. They're garbage earbuds. DankPods did an excellent breakdown of why they're awful 4. Now everyone I know thinks Raycons are great despite them being as expensive or more so than actual established brands that work hard and take pride in their sound quality

I used them for a while actually but they just didn't work out for me so at this point I'm not going to start buying them again and I don't need to hear about it anymore

they’re everywhere. everyone i watch (which is a fairly diverse list) has a sponsorship. i also know zero people in my life who own them.

There are so much better earbuds that are also cheaper. Plus I don't wanna hear YouTubers awkwardly explain and show them being used, it's just dumb.

they wouldn't even stay in my ears plus the look like they go right up against your eardrums. red flags all around plus i hate wireless shit the battery lasts like two shakes at best

Cerebral - 1

Ok sorry this is gonna be an essay with some snark. So for some important background, at last report Cerebral is under investigation by both the DEA and DOJ for essentially being an online pill mill. This tech bro startup took advantage of a temporary measure meant to help patients keep their EXISTING prescriptions during the pandemic -- the usual rule is that controlled substances can only be prescribed after an in-person appointment, to avoid the exact kind of situation I'll describe, but of course when lockdowns made in-person appointments much harder then people who have been taking stimulants or w/e for years shouldn't be left hanging. But then, in comes the Cerebral tech bros who decide to build their new business off prescribing stimulants to NEW patients... to "95%" of new patients, to be exact, because one of them actually admitted "100% would be a pill mill". (Oh yes, 95% is much better, not just a malicious loophole at all /s) Basically, a patient would have a single 30-minute video appointment, take one quiz that's meant to be a SCREENING tool (not a diagnostic tool! if you get a high score that's an indication you need MORE testing to confirm a possible diagnosis!) and then immediately get prescribed stimulants with no physical exam (no EKG, heart rate, or blood pressure, just for starters that any RESPONSIBLE doctor would do) and no further questions asked.—

—That would have been bad enough, but the advertising and shilling. Oh god, the advertising and shilling. Cerebral put out ads deliberately overstretching "signs you may have ADHD" in such a way that would put Tiktok influencers to shame (and we'll fucking get to that.) Like one ad implying that overeating sweets, something that literally everyone does at one point or another, is a sign you should make an appointment with Cerebral to get that sweet sweet Addy! And as for the real treat, the actual sponsorships. They had a fucking AFFILIATE CODE PROGRAM. Tiktokers would be like "use my code to get $30 off your first month!" for PSYCHIATRY. Not only that, but for psychiatry prescribing stimulants which are addictive and can kill you if you're not being carefully monitored for heart problems. Tiktokers and ads would also describe this service as a "life hack" and emphasize how easy it is to get stimulants through this one neat trick! Medical ethics is dead and we killed it. It got to the point that major pharmacies like CVS and Walgreens started refusing to fill prescriptions originating from Cerebral, because if/when a pill mill gets busted, pharmacies that filled the prescriptions can also be held liable. Think of the opioid epidemic for examples of the situation they were trying to avoid. They noticed how suspicious it was that ALL THE SUDDEN there was a huge flood of prescriptions for addictive drugs, ALL originating from the same few healthcare providers (mostly Nurse Practitioners rather than Medical Doctors, because MDs were more likely to call out the ethical/legal violations, but even many of the NPs who worked for Cerebral described feeling pressured by the corporate higher-ups to increase prescriptions and discourage waiting or further testing) Once this all came to a head Cerebral tried damage control by no longer prescribing stimulants to new patients. I haven't heard any updates on the regulatory investigations since then. But you know what I haven't seen that's even more telling? Not one, not a SINGLE one of the content creators who shilled for this company EVER apologized. For all they know they could have contributed to getting someone killed, not to mention life-ruining addictions, all for that sweet corporate sponsorship cash. Even if you argue they might not have known better at the time (to which I say bullshit, it's your responsibility to at least google the company to see if there's any red flags, Cerebral had more than a communist parade) even AFTER all this started making national news, it was just dead silence and moving on to the next corporate sponsor. But hey, if you're struggling with Adderall addiction, I know just the thing to help! Sign up for BetterHelp using code "SHILL" to get $10 off- *dies*

[carry-on-my-wayward-gays]

hi do you have any CoD thoughts to share /nf

CoD thoughts? Oh boy oh boy,,

I've got this one fic I keep meaning to write, where before reaching Rodolfo Ghost patches Soap up cause at some point Soap mentions he sucks at med stuff. And Ghost is always carrying that medkit on his back <3 It's just gonna be a little scene packed full of homoerotic tension between the bbgs and fluffy wound tending :3c

Thoughts in the way of headcanons tho? One that other ppl seem to like a lot is my hc of Soap having a tongue piercing, but he just doesn't wear the piercing on duty. So when everyone sees him w the piercing in in between jobs they flip tf out cause ???where did that come from you didn't have that before did you get that recently??? And Soap's just like. "Guys I've had this since I was like 16 chill" but they just flip out more.

Also I hc Ghost w autism and OCD and he has these little rituals he absolutely has to do before doing anything mission related, even if it's last minute. If he doesn't he spends the whole time stressed to Hell and back that something bad is going to happen and everyone is gonna fucking die. It's not a productive day so everyone has learned to just let him be. Sometimes ppl ask if they can assist him and only a select few get given a 'yes'.

Price used to catfish and hunt predators back in the day, but he had to stop when he joined the military. And that's the only reason he stopped, otherwise he would've continued until he got in trouble.

Alejandro and Rudy both forget English when they get Big Emotions, but it's for different emotions. Alejandro does it when he gets angry, and when he forgets an English word he stands there snapping his fingers trying to remember it, which only makes him more angry. Rudy does it when he gets super scared and/or sad. He slowly forgets English the longer he feels these ways and it takes a while for him to remember the language afterwards.

Gaz had an astronaut phase as a kid. He was so into space and that stuff that for at least 4 years his bedroom was space themed. He actually had a plan and dream to get a job for some place like NASA, but when he hit 15 the interest started to die down. He still likes space, would still absolutely jump at the chance to explore it if offered, but it's not like it used to be.

And König is scarily good at board games. Like unsettlingly good. It's not always a 100% win streak but it's super fucking close when he loses. Like this man has ppl sweating during fucking Monopoly cause they all know he's most likely going to win or they're gonna almost die from high blood pressure but win.

I should make a master post of all my CoD headcanons. I keep meaning to, actually :T

[bishiglomper]

I was in bed all day. Just totally sapped of energy. And flipping between freezing and sweating 😣

I attempted to get up. Which was me propping myself up into a sitting position until i was awake enough to leave. But it just devolved into my dozing and sinking lower and lower. Pfft. I wasnt successful

And then DAD called. I was expecting him to at some point when i learned mom told him about my heart issue. 😅 he gets a stick up his butt about my health whenever something happens.

I told him I'm trying to be good and i see flippin' every specialist they have and they dont ever have answers for me. And hes giving me a hard time. We both gradually got loud and frustrated at eachother until his wife (they do speakerphone) starts ripping him a new one like "ITS HARD TO BE A WOMAN IN THE MEDICAL SYSTEM, THEY DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO HER."

And I had gotten teary and i was just like "....YEAH." 🥺

"Good job, see, you made your daughter cry"

Lmao 😂 i cried more because I was touched but honestly it probably would have taken only another moment of yelling before frustration ran out and i just broke. Mom hates this womans guts but i cant help but love her. She has her own autoimmune issues so SHE UNDERSTANDS. And she puts dad in his place when he gets a bug up his butt.

He really wants me to go up there and make me be seen by one of his doctors which im all for but insurance is fickle. He may need to pay out of pocket for something like that.

None of my doctors actually talk to eachother. And it seems like even if i go to a "specialist" they're not special enough. 🙄 still waiting to see if/when i can see the rhythm specialist to be tested for pots.

Theres always something that makes me go "no it cant be pots, I don't do/have this particular symptom" but someone told me i could have it with high BP, which was one of the things... And i know thats been up and down. So dad decided hes gonna send me a blood pressure machine.

He was thrilled when i said i would totally check it all the time. I love knowing wtf my body is doing. I dont check my bloodsugar enough but when im curious about it enough I'll check it all the time. I just need that extra motivation lol. told him ive been using the pulse ox. Now we just need to see what my bp is doing.

Honestly if i thought i could just walk into the nearest building with a cuff id do it at least once a day. But I dont think they'd do it without question.

He wants me to experiment with my drugs. Like going off them. I wanna do the BP tilt table thing but im with mom, i dont really wanna do it without a doctor knowing about it. But if i have my own cuff, then i can bring data to them 👀

[pixyys]

i got transmigrated into the world of shugo chara! and become a guardian but my guardian chara is somehow an X-egg

what's this? a shugo chara fic but your guardian chara gives you high blood pressure instead of sparkly magical powers.

warnings. a 3 am fic but is not actually written at 3 am; mc with she/her pronouns; mentions of stress and self-deprecation; pure crack and nonsense; shugo chara and tumblr community, i am very sorry.

no idea why old-school mangas tend to stay in elementary/middle schools when they're literally experiencing heart throbbing puppy love and can summon meteors.

everyone is in highschool because we all know how highschool is almost always the setting where those spring time anime doki doki tropes happen.

prologue preview

they say smart people has lots of monologues in their head, and bottled negative emotions can manifest into something- er.. ominous.

so you don't know whether it means that you are an outstanding genius or a miserable person when you found a sus egg beside your pillow.

"kakyoin did you lay this egg?!?"

maybe kakyoin didn't but you most likely did.

the egg looks, erm, normal as per say, kind of. it is slightly bigger than your favorite boiled chicken egg, and pure, uh- black? purple-ish? in color. if this is the world of shugo chara, your egg looks like the ones that the main gang purify on a daily basis- wait.

wait.

bruh.

introducing [name] or [mc]

catchphrase include bruh, oh my god, and bob.

sigma rule #1 no simping😎

[name] x overthinking x self deprecation true love triangle route (أ‿أ)/ j.

her whole personality is meme. that's it.

au if this universe is more dark/ less family friendly and [name] suffers an open wound injury during a guardian-fight:

"name! quick! what's your type?"

"i don't think this is an appropriate time, but i like them tall, dark and handsome."

[name]'s future glimpsed through the looking glass (or magic ball, tarot cards, whichever works).

you give your new egg a once over. it is truly pitch dark in color, if not a bit purple.

'the forbidden egg.'

the egg sprung and cracked into life. its shell hit your temple, like it was trying to hit your eye and missed.

(being recruited to join the guardians)

"okay, but how much am i getting paid for this?"

"doesn't that mean my egg is basically an x-egg?"

"heart egg. yes, but no."

"oh my god, are you guys going to exorcise me now?"

"we can name our guardian charas?!"

"no, they-"

"i'm gonna name mine bob."

"..right"

(it's kairi. kairi and mc = no energy and too much energy so true.)

"[name]! rima-chan told me your heart egg hatched yesterday!"

"yea, it cracked open after i left it on the fridge for three hours."

"🗿"

(everyone shall tremble at [name]'s himbo-ness, amu not excluded.)

"ohh let yaya see! let yaya see! ahh she looks so cute!"

"please do not assume my pronouns."

"bob-"

"but you're in luck, you're right. i go by she/her."

"you're supposed to be the manifestation of my heart's desire! my hopes and dreams! my inner heart!"

"i am! i don't see the point why you're saying this!"

"bob!"

"[name]!"

"oh wow, you're really accepting that name."

"say, er.. it's valentine day."

"yeah?"

kukai silently peers at the bag of chocolate in your hands.

"oh, right," you nod as you open the bag of chocolates. the boy in question can only stare as you take one of the glistening treats, lift it to both of your eyes' level, then proceed to pop it into your mouth with your eyes dead on the former jack's line of sight.

"i have to start doing the self-love campaign seriously. confessing to other people sounds like a hassle, anyway. so i'll just confess to myself."

"epic idea. saves a lot of anxiety and stress too."

kukai and daichi are too stunned to speak.

uhh so i don't really remember what happened in shugo chara it's been years, (i'll probably read the manga but it's so long-) but i did read the wiki and found out that these canonically 12 years old kids are basically fighting some secret evil cult organization; one of them, at some point becomes a spy then suffers in some moral dilemma. bonus points that each of these primary schoolers possibly has distinctive crippling insecurity and trauma, and has better love lives than i have ever had-

[mc], everytime things go down, in a chronological order:

[mc], most of the time whenever encountering something easter-related:

in case if anyone is curious about the kakyoin and egg thing.

(all jokes aside, shugo chara is one of the best magical girls manga/ anime in my childhood, this feels nostalgic haha)

[gracien-system]

Hey this is gonna be a pretty heavy/venty post, if you don't want/need that right now, please keep scrolling.

We've been extremely hesitant to enter the disabled community, less so on the nonphysical side, but still hesitant nonetheless.

This is due to how... all... of our concerns, ideas, and general thoughts have been just plainly discarded by both our PCP and parents.

We've kind of gotten to the point where things which should be good news, or just neutral -- for example, normal heartrate, blood pressure, and O2 before our surgery the other day -- are... somewhat threatening?

Threatening in the sense of "this will be used as proof we're faking/misinterpreting/whatever the fuck".

So, as kind of a vent, a way to remind ourselves of our physical issues, and just... I guess just putting our experiences out into a public space, here's a list of symptoms we've noticed -- and their potential causes.

hypersensitivity to pain in all areas of torso and stomach, along with thighs. This is very likely fibromialgia. The doctor refused diagnosis on the grounds that "I don't diagnose unless you have hypersensitivity in at least 7 'parts' of your body"... and he counted the torso as one part.

high sensitivity to temperature fluctuations, causing nausea, dizziness, soreness, and disorientation. These symptoms can and have been caused by entering a cold environment after being in a warm one, and by entering a warm environment after being in a cold one, and have been triggered by gradients of under 10 degrees (going from a 75 degree outside into a 68 degree inside is enough). This is, from what we can tell, most likely inherited from our mother, who has the full expression of Lupus, although it could be something else, we genuinely have no idea at this point.

a tendency to bleed more than the average person from even fairly small wounds, in spite of having normal clotting factor. For a good while we thought we had low clotting factor, but apparently we don't -- our best guess is that it's due to higher-than-average heartrate? There's probably something else to it, though.

resting heartrate of ~110 when on our Aderall and sitting/standing, ~100 when not on Aderall and sitting/standing, and ~85-90 when not on Aderall and laying down. The most likely thing we've found which would match symptoms like this is POTS, although we haven't done enough research to say conclusively if it is or isn't, however, we've had Covid 6 times, and considering POTS can be a post-viral illness, well, it's not out of the question whatsoever.

hypermobility in shoulders, elbows, fingers, and to a lesser extent in hips. Doc dismissed it as general hypermobility and said it's probably harmless after checking us for HEDS, but figured we should still list it here.

occasional migraines, usually related to heat-shock or stormfronts, that are painful enough to force us to lie down until they're over.

Chronic pain at various points around our body which is usually around a 2, but can spike up to about a 6. The exact areas change day-to-day, but they're usually our knees, other random joints, or tendons, but there is almost never a moment where we're at a 0 on the pain scale.

There are... probably more that I'm just plain forgetting or not recognizing, but these are the symptoms which immediately come to mind.

It just goes to show how much we do experience which is just... kind of ignored due to the fact that we can mask, and because we're "too young to be in pain/disabled/sick".

Honestly, at this point, I don't know if we'll end up making much, if any, progress in understanding what the hell is going on or getting it diagnosed while we're a minor, because of A: how much energy and time it takes to do research into potential conditions, talk to people about it, and worry if we're faking.

and B: how little care our doctor and parents seem to give about our condition(s) as long as we're able to function, and how much they seem to want us to just be normal.

We honestly didn't realize just how much medical gaslighting we've had to deal with, because it just kind of felt natural. We were told that "you look normal to me", which, following our look of both confusion and barely contained rage, was followed by "- wow, would you look at his [sic] face, I bet no one's ever told you that before!".

Anyway, I think that's about it for this post. If you made it all the way here, thanks for listening -- we'll be watching the reblogs on this one, if you have anything you want to add or say, just please try not to let it spread into gatekeepy/exclusionist circles. The last thing we need is a bunch of bastards coming into our replies telling us we're just wanting attention.

Have a wonderful day, all of you. /gen

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Ok I'm gonna take a bit to chip away at rewriting these headcanons

You ever get like.. totally conflicting headcanon vibes for a character. Because for the weirdest fucking reason WordGirl gives me demiboy vibes and also lesbian vibes but I literally can't even wrap my head around why because those conflict with my actual headcanons

I... have like two tropes I like I guess. Becky's blood is yellow/gold, and as a result, she blushes gold. (the reason I point out the "two tropes" thing is because this is also true of my Shadow design.) Similarly, this is why my Lexiconian design of her (which is still in development) has yellow skin.

The Botsford family is southern Asian-American, and the reason Becky looks so similar to them is just because that's the environment she grew up in.

She has a lot of repressed anger. It's just how she is. She holds onto it super tightly and she cannot let it go it's a curse

She gets so stressed so easily, it's basically her natural state of being. As much as she protects the city because it's important to her, it's also fucking stressful. If you were to take a substantial amount of pressure or anxiety off this girl's conscience she would probably pass out from sheer relief and may or may not suffer cardiac arrest

Her powers, just like your AU version of her, also get triggered and act out of control in high emotional stress, but she's really resistant to that because of just being in... constant distress.

I also have an idea that she sort of... shifts between her "natural" and Lexiconian form in relation to her emotions. A lot of emotional reactions, because she's a prepubescent kid with the weight of the world on her shoulders. It gets... easier as she grows up. But it gets worse before it gets better 'cause teenage years as an alien superhero lying to everyone you trust with totally jacked up emotional regulation SUCKS. I would know from experience /hj

She's not the only alien in the city. The area is surprisingly something of a hotspot for supernatural activity, which is why Becky remains to fight danger.

From one convo w my sister about WordGirl, she proposed the idea that Becky's parents actually know she's WordGirl- basically, there's this one scene in, I think, The Amazing Spiderman 2? where May is talking to Peter, because he wants to know more about his parents and May doesn't want to tell him about them, and it's this whole conflict about keeping secrets from each other, and my sister says that scene shouldn't have gone the way it did because it sucks, instead that should have had Peter admit to May that he's Spiderman, and then have May, who's seen Peter return home beaten up after disappearing randomly, probably heard his voice through the Spiderman mask, most likely seen his costume at home, etc., respond with something to the effect of "I know, I just needed you to tell me". Her idea is that in terms of Becky and her parents, that should sort of be the idea. I mean, the secret has to come forth at some point, and honestly, it's not one that she's too great at hiding around family. TJ is pretty young, so I can see it continuing to fly over his head, but their parents are adults and they're certainly aware of a lot of oddities about their daughter.

Ok fuck this I'm going to bed this is in-fucking-comprehensible and not at all the headcanons I wanted to share I'll do this later

Oh god, your Becky is starting to sound too much like me- /hj

My poor child, I love her sm-

[mtnkat3]

2.43pm

Grinning..

Yeah when I got into the shower earlier I started thinking about this post. But I have been going none stop since! I've put ~50 miles just for bloodwork & lunch. 🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I started singing the air force song.. flying high into the sun... & then giggling. As I used to know all of them, ranks for all, & a lot of ribbons too. Only can remember green E right now. Sigh. But I realized how much a nerd I am!

One of the new regional eatery places that's opened up is in the main flight path for a municipal airport so while everybody else there is oblivious.. I'm staring at jets all the way down to single prop Cessna's coming in! Close enough watching them deploying landing gear! I love it! Course it also reminds me of C.A.P. & then high school. Sigh. Memories.. & goals!

And then remembered while at the pizzeria today. [Half the bread, 4 fries & all the meat! Good kat!😁]

that as much as I detest the mark of the beast the cgm is to me.. when I'm asked about it I stop whatever I'm doing & talk to the person. People wanna know, they're scared & if I can help with my own experiences belay their fears then I will.

It's very simple, 1 poke, 10 days of wear, & 288 tests [every 5 minutes] in 24hrs vs the 4 test strips insurance allows with regular meter usage. It gives the wearer more knowledge & control over their eating habits.

Heck, it's showing me just how much stress affects blood sugar! When I saw endo after my sunburn/poisoning in August, they could see my shoulders, arms & toe. They reminded me of this. Stress effects ABSOLUTELY freaking everything! Blood sugar, pressure, heart rate, breathing, etc. Like D'oh t! I knew, I grew up around people that lost vision, toes, even life. Because remember.. too much sugar in the blood stream. Heck, it's affect is on psoriasis too! And since mine is mainly on my face, neck, & ears I see the evidence in the mirror & can't do a dang thing about it but to watch my food & stress. And yes, not eating also causes blood sugar to rise. The body thinks it's in starvation mode & that's where gut eright comes in. Until that has gotten as far ad the body is ok with then goes to other areas. Me, its trunk. A bit of cellulite arms & legs. But I have the "fat that kills."

Why do I talk about all this stuff?

So anyone that has questions or needs to know these things doesn't feel alone.

It sucks to have the alphabet soup.. pcos, ibs, complex headaches, dm2, cdk, psoriasis... "hyperactive immune system" allergies thru the roof!, asthma induced by allergies & more but. These are my trials.

And I bow to God's Wisdom & Grace.

He alone can Guide me to His healing. & Miracles!

And I can overcome all the mirade issues I have. It takes hard work, dedication & discipline.

I realized last night that I got depressed & lazy because of my circumstances.

Let's just say.. that put my hackles up. And really f*ckin pissed off Tijgeress. At me! I don't like that. At all. This is a huge part of my daily struggle, to fight what I am around.

To be the woman that I am. The one that doesn't go out without brushing hair, teeth, washing face, at least sponges bath, & putting on "public clothes" & showing that I care about myself.

I have gotten to the point that I rarely wear makeup though. It bothers my skin. And I even tried Its cosmetics 'Bye Bye' moisturizer! It felt heavy to me. People gonna just see my rosy complexion & lip balm. Unless I feel fancy like..🎶 grinning. Right now though.. Levi's & tees.

Long haired country girl with a lead foot. Shoulda seen me driving though! Windows down, radio jacked up, hair flying everywhere & flying the currents.. grin. That's me.

I am me.

I'm a nice woman to everybody I encounter. And I had to tell myself when I saw what looked like a traffic accident & grass fire while driving 80mph in a clump of cars that I saw the drivers, & they were mobile. And that emergency personnel had been called. But I feel like shit. I should've turned to get there & helped. Sigh.

Yes. That's me too.

Did I ever say I'm not complex?🤨🤔🤓🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Anyways.. that's been my day.

I know most think I'm crazy, treating this like my diary. But I'm not. Well no more than the next empathetic, infj, overthinking, marshmallow hearted woman! Lmao! Yeah.. ok. I'm unique! 😁

Anyways! I do this so wherever & whomever the heck my soul's mates are.. he knows what's happening in my life! Well I mean I think knows more than these writings.. that's my gut, intuition & soul's feelings anyways. So I write to my loves & I write to help others. Otherwise... crickets. There are days when I talk to my cat & have to clear my throat because I haven't spoken in so long! Lol!

Now that the chauffeuring is done.. back to work! I gots plenty of both daily chores & tasks to my goals to get done!

Discipline & sacrifice t. Not to mention life goals. And making God happy to have Created me! And that He will Bless my life by the work I do in His Name!

If that won't move my butt to swishin nothing could! Grinning.

Yes. I'm in a good mood today!

I was able to take a hot shower & not trip!😎 I feel better about myself for every righteous thing I accomplish!

Motivation.

Yes, as I look out at my huge pine & other trees, seeing the sunlight, listening.. I feel better. I much rather go out into the forest & not hear people but be rejuvenated by nature!

Yes. I love planes & flying too!

Yep. Right now.. put me in as hot tub to soak my bones then stand in the cold air & watch the goose pimples! I think that would energize my butt! Lmao!

Ok. Deep breath. Gotta get back to it.

Wherever & whomever the heck You are!

I freakin love & adore you!

And I miss you so badly I'm ready to scream, roar, hiss, growl, & shout down the mountains.. that I could fly my Phoenix wings to you!

So. God Knows. And I believe you do too.

I pray to get my life right so I am made aware, more than my senses.. so that I am face to face with you. Sharing breath.. heartbeats.. drowning in your eyes. You are everything to me. And I'm sick to death of being separated from you!

Daughter... patience.

Bowing my head. Yes Father.

Deep breath. Focus. Calm. Breathe. Relax. Get my butt moving. Repeat.

I will not ever give up.

I believe. In God. In Love. In us.

I work as I move my butt & await.. God. & you.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Your faithful complex warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

👩🤓⚓🙏🙇‍♀️💡☔🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽🦅🥧🍁🧣🥾🍎🥤🍋🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍑🍒 🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵 ⌚⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎶💋

Fr.10.21.2022 4.01pm est.

Yeah.. "love is in the air", usaf anthem, No Body by Blake Shelton.. bunches of goodies today! Makes for happy kat! 😎🥰😁🎶