#theyre all still so good they look so good they sound so good. they havent aged badly at all!!! any of em!!!

[bmpmp3]

i do think its kinda funny when i see someone in the year of our lord 2024 talk about vocal synth music like its all gone downhill since like 2010 because like dont get me wrong i love a good niconicodouga-ass 2008 ass vocaloid joint BUT also like. the past couple years have had the most fascinatingly creative and expressive uses of vocal synthesizers ive ever heard in my life DJFSKHJDFS dont write it all off just yet!!

[britneyshakespeare]

james and logan can still backflip

[arolesbianism]

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy SHIT

[decompforteenz]

rape and nonconsensual touching but it extends into the aftercare.

youre angry at them and scared and flinching and after what they just did to your body you can barely stand on your own but when you can you try to shuffle and crawl away from them. you dont WANT them to bathe you, theyre probably just trying to wash evidence off but youre weak and shaking, you cant really fight them off. they grab you by the crook of your elbow and drag you to your feet, hauling you into the bathroom while you stumble or even drag uselessly behind them. you curse at them half heartedly when they drop you into their shower. you sputter as the water comes on, too cold and unexpected. they set up a chair near where youre sitting and roll up their sleeves, take a handful of your now wet hair and drag you to them. you shake and flinch as they drag you over, hands covering your face like theyre going to hit you. instead they just start to wash your hair. you freeze under the gentle touching, struggle to connect this behavior with everything else thats happened tonight. the water is warm now and theyre cooing at you and telling you you were good, you didnt behave yourself but you still made them feel so good and youre such a good pet, or you will be once they break you a little further. you sit there dumbfounded and humiliated as they talk to you like a child or a scared animal. you dont notice your shoulders relax or how youve started leaning into their hands, but they do. they mutter vague sounds of approval at your submission, the first time youve behaved all fucking night. as soon as they finish with your hair they move to your body, gently lathering you with soap while you try to hide yourself. one smack to one of your bruised wrists is all it takes to get you to stop covering up now. the violence, the violation, the beating, the tears, and now the warm water, the whiplash, the soft touching, the confusion, its all made you so pliant. you dont say anything when they take extra care to wash your holes. you only shoot them a look when they say “good as new, like nothing ever happened.” they turn off the water and wrap you in a soft, fluffy towel. you look shell shocked and they cant help but laugh that now and only now is when you want to disconnect from your body. once it feels safe. they scoop you up and take you back to the bed you were just violated on. talking down to you as they put you in pajamas and bottle feed you water like a sick lamb, first manhandling your limp spacey body into some underwear youve never seen before (did they have that waiting for you? how long have they planned to do this to you), then a tshirt. they chide you when you dont move to help get it on yourself. clicking their tongue and telling you “arms up” like a child. you move sluggishly and hesitantly but do as they say. they put the shirt on you and kiss your head, thanking you for being so good. you feel sick. they maneuver you into their bed finally so that they can hold you to their chest. as you start to drift off in spite of yourself, they whisper “dont even think about running off tonight. you havent seen anything yet.” in your ear

[arthurtaylorlester]

RETURN OF THE KING: MALEVOLENT LIVEBLOG EPISODE 37 THE FARM

spoilers (you already know)

back at it with some humming!

JOHN MY BELOVED !!!! youre so bitchy i love him

HES SO PETTY HELP

harpers hill mention omg (harpers hill hijinks coming soon)

“MY BOOK HMPH 😤” girl 😭😭

“i didnt realise” yes because you cant see and john is like really really dumb

it kills me that john is bitching about oscar not finding anything but like what information have you contributed in the last 3 episodes

ive missed bullying john

malevolent is a comedy and i will stand by that

mmm rain sounds

HYPNOS GREEK GOD MENTION ‼️

“can you imagine hahah” yes i can it was the best arc of the show send tweet

well you havent seen his face

whys john being so quiet all of a sudden?

OH WHAT THEFUCK I SAW RHIS COMING

“i suppose ill just watch again” SOMEONE IS A JEALOUS GIRL

arthur ignoring john….. the girls are going to DIVORCE

“not you sorry ^_^” and then he goes back to ignoring john?? girl

oh wait that was very sweet

WHAT THE FUCK I JUST TOOK ABDHDNFN

sorry arthur speaking to john like that just destroyed me

I TRUST YOU AND YOUR MY FRIEND??? IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE YOU?? THEYRE COMMUNICATING A

“its not because i dont care 💛” “…yes?” oscar this isnt about you

poor guy though he must be so confused

arthurs tone changes so much when he speaks to john

someone get john a pair of glasses either that or he was too busy daydreaming to see the turnoff

oh of course john would want to split off because he hasnt ever seen a horror movie arthur if you die then it’s your fault for not showing him the movie 🙄

“we might have to sleep in the car” okayyyy

oh so now john wants to give him info because he deserves to know

aaaand now he doesnt want to tell him. we love a hypocritical king !!!

return of the canadian sourry

you dont need to sound so smug that he looks hurt john 😭😭

okay oscar love the existential crisis while reading very relatable

is he gonna say arthur is his purpose

oh for fucks sake

NOT THE SOFT “oscar”

ok oscar is def into arthur and arthur saying “i don’t believe in god” is like rejection. this is how unrequited blindfaith can still win.

also god believes in you? well john and kayne sure seem to believe in him for what its worth

oscar nooo dont devote yourself to arthur that never ends well

john i dont care about oscar either but you have got to stop laying it on so think jfc

john the undefeated more like john the opportunist

“woAH” same john same

oooh so john can see auras now basically?

what monster are we gonna find in the barn 👀

oh that sounds fun actually though /j

AWW I KNEW HE WAS GONNA ASK IF HE WAS OK

ok i love how prominent the dreamlands are this episode i was just thinking about how good it was

john just wants his alone time with arthur because he cant answer his questions

“i need another set of eyes” thats like the one thing john can do it must be kinda sad to like, not be able to fully do the one thing you used to be great at

“ *gasp* a forgotten one :0” john dont act like you know what that means

hey is john a forgotten one then. is he. is he though.

can everyone except arthur feel the weirdness of places

NOT THE MUSIC BOX MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND HARLAN WHEN ARE YOU GIVING US AN OST PLEASE IM BEGGIN YOU

ITS MIDNIGHT DONT GO IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT ITS RAINING YOURE BEING CHASED BY AN EDLRITCH THING

john its ok if you didnt see it you dont need to justify yourself ❤️‍🩹

john sounds almost scared to go in the basement lol

the stairs are gonna give out at a later date im calling it

what could possibly happen in the last 15 minutes

a door ajar omg is that a wtnv reference

did arthur almost die by getting crushed by a bunch of furniture

oh a barricade i know what this is about

oh happy halloween btw guys

OSCAR JUMPSCARE

my honest reaction too john

what… what did you just sink into….

oh hole in roof, cool

arthur pay attention oscar hes gonna set hjmself on fire on accident

the jarthur was too busy analysing the painting to pay attention to oscar

OH GODDAMIT ARTHRJ WHAT THE FUCK JOHN WHAT THE DAGGER? THE ONE HE SLIT HIS THROAT WITH

oh he wants to cut it off ok

jfc 7 minutes oh no

I CALLED THE STAIRS CAVING IN

GUYS HE WAS READING THE BOOK OFC HE KNOWS

question: how strong is arthur physically

“A TOWEL!” “A TOWEL?” as i said a comedy

WE GOT A “WELL DONE ORTHUR” LETS GO

you know its weird that i can handle this fine but couldnt deal with the michael torture in the woe.begone finale

NO ARTHUR ITS NOT OK

HES ISNT GOING TO MAKE IT

oh ok hes fine sort of ok

the music goes so hard again

that arthur was so scared

ok the arms alive run

or get john to arm wrestle it idk

“what thE fUCK WHAT THE FUCK” my daily vocabulary

and oscar was right :)

RUN YOU IDIOTS

arthur you could at least carry him instead of dragging him that poor poor man

i find it amusing that this mostly happened because of jarthur studying a painting and ignoring the man currently in possession of their braincells

indeed what do we do now

and thats a wrap! oh boy what an episode i have THOUGTHTS (oscar is not surviving this)

i know like maybe 2 people read this type of posts but i enjoy making and reading them back. so if youd like me to keep going with these i will :)

[5-pp-man]

another tierlist because ppl actually liked that first one;

the crème de la crop;

the first 2 eps i thought it was fine, but it didnt really captivate me as much as id hoped. but then ep 3 changed everything for me. i started to think "how could living armour work logically? everything so far has been edible, so this must be too, right?" i actually managed to think of the exact thing that this series did. that really made me realise the worldbuilding in this was something unique, and it only got better and better with each episode. its really managed to captivate me and i look forward to "delicious donderdag" every week :)

ANIME ORIGINAL LETS GOOOO absolutely bonkers show that almost slipped by me because it initially tried to fool its audience into thinking it was a regular dramatic military show. it still is but theres also a giant robot who plays by saturday morning cartoon giant robot rules. if that sounds like tonal whiplash to you, trust me, it is. and its amazing. have i mentioned how homoerotic this one is as well? yeah. originally a tier below this one, but immediately after finishing this post i watched the newest ep. i had to make an exception and edit the list because ep 9 changes everything. i havent been gobsmacked by a show this hard in a while.

(return of the) show(s) that execute their own premise very well;

i havent read the manga for yubisaki to renren so i cant compare, but the quality of this adaptation has been very consistent. you need a little sweet romance every once in a while :) this is one of those series where the characters really grew on me the longer it went on. im always a fan of mixing realistic struggles with romance and this one has been doing it well so far

adaptations that are ok (i read the manga for both of these);

i've been a mashle fan since before s1 aired. and the anime has some good changes and additions here and there! but its not very consistent in terms of quality, it does that shonen thing where the animation quality suddenly spikes for certain action sequences, but it also frequently had a lot of scenes where they recycle shots a lot and nothing interesting happens on the screen for a considerable amount of time. still! its a fine adaptation. and yeah the op for this. blew tf up lmao? very strange to see happen in real time

i actually rlly like the manga for this one. i read the whole thing up until vol.6 before the season started (all that was available back then) and it made me cry multiple times throughout. i was sort of missing that connection with the show, though some of the later episodes still hit. its mostly to do with the animation quality, which isnt that great unfortunately. the voice actors are knocking it out of the park though

wghere am i;

is this show good? i. uh. will you hate me if i say yes...? objectively, i know its not that good. especially in the animation department. but if you like other Umatani shows, you'll like this one. it's got the same brand of goofy reactionary humour mixed with gimmicky tacky characters and crazy stupid plot twists. ive been faithfully watching this one each week and I'm afraid i've become very invested. overscientific indeed

bro you fell off...;

i was so beyond excited for this one. i replayed the op a million times, watched each preview, rewatched multiple episodes. and then. ep 5 happened. and i started to realise. oh this show kind of sucks doesnt it? the pacing of the first ep was great, but the rest? way too fast. it became clear with ep 6 that theyre trying to do a double cour show with half the length, which is why they started hauling ass plot-wise. now. i was an arajin apologist for the longest time. but at that point i honestly started to loathe him. even when he stepped up, his praise still felt sort of unearned. and to top it all off, shindou's motivation sucked so he felt like a lousy antagonist. ep6 was better than 5, but it really made me lose my enthusiasm and hope for the series. and right as we were talking about them probably not having time for a filler ep, ep7 happened. feels like a waste of time to do an ep like that when you've still got a whole 2nd arc to go through. but who am i

it started off pretty good honestly. but then chris went to the hospital and it kind of just dwindled from there. this season does so much with characters that have not even been properly introduced like how am i supposed to care about these people if i barely know who they are. the stuff with finn and leo respectively was good though. but the lore dump? lord help me. also vijay just kind of. exists to be there in the background huh? i would not call him a main character they never give him any attention. wendy had another ep again and he didnt get shit. again. also i think finn was stupid as fuck for not listening to lala but again. who am i. i know we cant destroy high card because we need a show but. cmon man.

i am severely behind on these;

reason why im behind is because most of the eps are a bit heavy so i kept. not watching them. its starting to get rlly interesting though so i'm def gonna catch up this is one of those robo-racism shows so i have to really watch out to see where its going. dont want another marginal service situation...

sorry this is just. a little too boring for me. its charming, sure. but i think this wouldve worked better as something with an 11 min timeslot instead of 23 min. theres just a bit too mu- or well, too little for me to rlly get into this. i think reading it would be more fun for me personally

[quodekash]

ployphach phatchatorn thanawat. she's not in dangerous romance, but man is she pretty and gorgeous and perfect. let's all just think about her for a second.

okay now that that's out of the way, continuing episode 7 of dangerous romance

:( my boy

you silly little man kang, you need to know your limits

I know you wanted to be cool and to prove yourself by eating the spicy food (and also sailom definitely thought the raspy coughing sounds you were making from the spice were kinda sexy-sounding) but sometimes your own health and safety should be prioritised above impressing people

YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSS

ITS GUYNAWA TIME BABEYYYYYY

AND HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKS RIGHT AT GUY BECAUSE OF COURSE THEYRE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER (well, across the corner but its still technically next to him in my book)

my boy looks uncomfy

I can't tell if its bc of the bar setting or if its bc he's right next to his enemy/crush and his enemy/crush is staring directly at him in a way that says "I want to destroy you" but in a few different ways

HOLY FRICK JUST FRIKIN GRAB HIM AND TAKE HIM TO A RESTROOM AND SMOOCHY SMOOCH GRAB HIS FACE AND MAKE OUT

LMAO HE CALLED HIM NONG

I still dont know if they're going down the maxauto route or not, if its platonic or romantic, but either way their dynamic is incredible and I love it so much

👀

nO

LETS NOT

THAT IS A GROWN-ASS WOMAN

HE IS 17/18

AND HE IS ALSO QUEER AS HELL

SHE'S SO PRETTY BUT AAAAAAA NO

KANG

everybody say thank you kang

"thaaaank youuu kaaaaannngg"

GOUERBIGE4OUWBGSD

WAIT

OMG

OMG

OMG

GVIO3REHJDGPIOHVEJRPIOHJGPIOBEIRJHIOFGIOB9JERHIPO DJHOPFIGO[VBER[VFD[J

I think they're both aware of their feelings for each other but they're afraid of it/rejection and thus express those feelings through anger and I just can't wait for them to hate fuc

PFFT

WHAT IS IT WITH THIS EPISODE AND TELLING VERY-NOT-STRAIGHT CHARACTERS TO GO/BE STRAIGHT

AND "be straight with me" HONEY, HE CAN'T BE STRAIGHT AT ALL, AND HE CAN BE STRAIGHT THE LEAST WHEN HE'S WITH YOU

KISS

THEYRE CHALLENGING EACH OTHER

THEYRE SO FLIRTING

THEYRE SO IN LOVE

HOLY FRICK NUGGETS IM GOING INSANE

they cheersed

THEY CHEERSED THEIR CUPS

THEY DID THE CLINKY CLINK

I can't tell what he's thinking

it could be anywhere from "im so tired" to "he's so hot" to "man I wish I was that bottle rn" to just completely unimpressed

we all knew it would end like this

there was no other way it could've gone

(dear lord jesus please let them kiss in a moment)

HOLY FRICK

HOLY FRICK

I have such a severe case of side couple syndrome idk if you've noticed

im making strange noises

they're so important to me

ghibeisgdkhverbshdgbrehb

I feel like its important for everyone to know that im currently lying on my stomach looking at my laptop with my feet in the air kicking, but im also balancing my pillow on top of my feet because I do that sometimes, and im doing incredibly well at kicking my feet while not letting the pillow fall

GIVUERJDKBG

IM SMILING SO HARD

I LOVE THEM

oh he's recoiling

he has trauma we havent even begun to unpack yet

thinking back to the dog quote, where he implies his dad used harsh methods to "train" him, and he probably hit him a lot. the way he's yelling now, and the way kang is shrinking away in fear, keeping his voice low, avoiding eye contact, tells me this is bringing back a lot of repressed memories of pain and fear

that was... weirdly kind

I think he realised he had an audience, and he has a reputation of goodness to maintain for his election, and he needs to make sure he's still got a good eye from the public, and the public happens to contain kang's friends

but behind closed doors, the monster of pure anger that kang sees him as emerges from the shadows, leaking from all the dark corners of their mansion, and kang shuts himself off to not have to experience the horrors looming above him in the shape of his father

THEY ARE FRIENDS

CAPTAIN GRANDMA, LETS GOOOO

CAPITANO NONNA

YES okay so my thoughts were right

my thoughts were: the 'so we can go official now?' clip is gonna happen this episode

its gonna be kang's bravery in standing up for auto that makes sailom agree to let them be official

but I wasn't sure how that would happen this episode because I wasn't sure if there would be a soccer match this episode

BUT HERE IS PROOF so basically im amazing and im gonna be right and we should all appreciate me

...bRO

is this connection how hes gonna end up at kang's house to steal and commit crimes and perhaps shoot kang's dad @respectthepetty

WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

HOLY FRICK

THATS RIDICULOUS

HOW ARE THEY GONNA MOVE IN THOSE CLOTHES, THE GUYS ARE IN FULL ASS SUITS

MAN I DONT LIKE THIS

THAT SUCKS

I THOUGHT MAYBE THE CHEERLEADING WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF GOOD IN THIS SHOW AND NOT TOXIC AND NOT EXPLOITATIVE OF WOMEN BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG

anyway

oh

well- I feel slightly better about it now

okay they do look lovely and pimfah loves it and doesnt like feel uncomfortable so thats good

I just. you would think they would wear something less fancy for a... soccer game

ME

felt that

my emotions are stored in my eyes bro, whatever it is, its coming out in tears

GROUP HUGSSS I love group hugs

ITS BEEN TWO HOURS AND I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT OF THE EPISODE, LETS SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO WATCH 15 MINUTES (find out in the next post because I once again talked too much)

[lunarsniperwifle]

Gonna gush a bit about Im In Love With The Villainess, dont read more if you havent read all the light novels!!

Okay so Idk if its cause I somehow missed it when briefly looking into the series, or fans are all very nice abt not spoiling things right now with the anime airing (which yall are saints!). But I feel I never see ppl talk abt the fact this story seriously talks abt and presents trans people on, what I felt as a trans woman, really nice and realistic ways. Like, we got an AFAB trans woman in Yu. Im sure many ppl cringe at the "Im an AFAB trans fem" posts that have floated around at times but. Yu is an AFAB trans woman and i love her for that. Rae's old world friend its a shame he died by suicide, especially as from what I recall he's the only trans man/masc character in the whole series. It is heartwarming Rae is such a huge and staunch ally because of that friendship (and subsequently will not stand to allow someone to live unhappily in the closet when she discovers it like with Yu and Joel).

Joel as well, I was happy we got a new trans character later and it was a trans woman (makes sense given its a series about queer women/girls and such), i think my only gripe is she still goes by Joel? Which both the characters do, so maybe for them and this society in general deadnames arent as /bad/ but that was something i didnt really like with hers since Joel is very masculine sounding to me. But also, if she likes it still, keep it! Just a writing decision thing i was bleh on.

I was really happy with how openly queer the novels were with sexuality but when it was explicitly talking abt dysphoria and trans people i was like. Holy shit. I guess my standards and expectations are so low i just expected if we /did/ show up we'd be a joke but we weren't. It was so nice. Yu and Joel both got punishments essentially (confined to a convent for a bit of time and deported back home), but theyre happy!! Also the crosswire curse being shown in both good and bad lights was so. Interesting. Like it caused Yu to be dysphoric for being forced into being a boy, and then for Joel gave her the body she always wanted. Like magic HRT is so cool (iirc Rae mentions it internally being cool this universe has that as an option).

Its just really special to me, especially with Yu and Misha being together and in love. Thats all lol. My yuri isekai that ended up not really being an isekai had good trans women in it what a bonus

[dballzposting]

I love Tenshinahn & Chaozu they make each other so happy and theyre so sweet 

There is a BFF spectrum an on one end is Goten & Trunkz with things like “ride or die, bros b4 hoes, physical violence & intimacy, love to mess with the other” and on the other end of the spectrum is Tenshinahn & Chaozu.

Tenshinhan & Chaozu:

- Are very close and well-bonded

- Must be adopted together

- Pick flowers together, travel at leisurely paces together, train together, build furniture together, live together 

I know that in the actual source material, 60% of chaozu’s dialogue is just him going “Ten-San!” in alarm, but open your mind to the reality that that does not contradict, and does coexist, with the fact that chaozu can hold his own and could go out for a night on the town with Puar & Oolong and could totally win in a gunfight. Chaozu’s kind of a real one and he’s kind of a boss bitch. He’s a crazy motherfucker. He plays cringe music in the car becasue he likes it and he makes it based by not caring about looking cool. He pushes the pedals using his psychic abilities because he’s too short.

When he first met Krillin at that tournament, he just pointed at him and said “Bald.”  .. and when Krillin tried to counter with a “look who’s talking” type deal, Chaozu very confidently and calmly and matter-of-factly took his hat off and showed him his One Hair.

Chaozu calls ‘em as he sees ‘em ... One look, one pull, done with it. No fanfare. One pointing finger, one declared adjective, done. And he’s right every time. 

I think that he could get on fine without Tenshinahn. BUT Tenshinahn is his closest friend and committed companion and he KNOWS how when Tenshinhan worries too much he’s prone to vomiting so he’ll haul ass to get home if it’s been a while since he and Ten reconnected. (To be honest as Tenshinhan progresses as a martial artist his tendency to fall victim to vomit when he’s worried out of his mind has vanished, as he no longer allows himself to fall into such spirals of distress, as he has the discipline and inner strength to simply not need to feel that way, but he is still happiest when he and Chaozu get to see each other often so this is a habit that has persisted.)

Chaozu stayed right by Tenshinhan as he went through his moral crisis and ultimately betrayed The Crane Hermit, and it’s becasue Chaozu is a little guy and a follower and no one expects him to exercise much autonomy, but it’s really becasue Chaozu cared much more about his companion than he did about their school. Even though being a student of a martial art school is a lifestyle commitment by your entire being, Chaozu was not going to forsake Tenshinhan, becasue their bond is the core of his value system. They are ride or die. Nevermind the Crane Hermit being their master and all. Nevermind the deep ignominy of forsaking him.

Also there’s this scene from a movie that i havent seen yet that is making me feel so many things

Honestly I think that Chaozu is SO OPEN-MINDED that his brain space is essentially just the universe and so he handled forsaking the crane hermit and the shift from evil to good pretty easily. He was like “Oh no more robbing and lying? OK. Sounds good. Time to commit myself to virtue” and then he just does that perfectly. 

I think that Tenshinhan needs his little buddy the same way that he needs to stand in waterfalls for hours on end. This is just how he has to live his life

Like I do not need to tell you about the intricate and interesting complexities of Tenshinhan (mostly becasue i cannot put it into words) but he is like a constellation in the night sky. He is deep and profound and earnest and dire. 

And he and Chaozu pick flowers and build furniture and go to the market and make their own dinners. 

Individually, they each can handle most things. Chaozu can handle the awful things that Oolong says. Tenshinhan can handle the dirty jokes that Yamucha makes. Chaozu can handle a gunfight grand-theft-auto style. Tenshinhan can handle when Launch bursts in firing on all calibers. 

But together there are so many things that they do Not do ... they have fully-realized personalities and “excessive curiosity and adventurousness” is not a part of them. Some BFFs are like that (Goten & Trunks) and they do everything together and it’s fun just because theyre together, but these two are not like that.

It’s true that they do need to do everything together (there is no universe where one went on one moral path and the other on a different one...) but they do not do random shit. They are quite fond of and comfortable with structure. They do not burden each other with classless jokes. Never would they even think to repeat one when only the other was present. They don’t make useless comments about what they see. They are never concerned with making the other laugh. They appreciate and respect animals and when one embarrasses itself in front of them, they lend a helping hand. For comparison, if Yamucha saw an animal trip while scrabbling up a tree, he would first be like “looks like me monday morning” before offering any aid. Tenshinhan & Chaozu do not say that shit ....

I love Tenshinhan & Chaozu and I think that they are so sweet. 

I love them

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

okay but hold me like you scared to sounds so good already (they all sound so good tbh but this one piqued my interest lol) what's it about? and for the fanfic questions 32, 50 and J :))

@frappe-the-peppermint WE GOT ONE 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ahem oh wow who said that. anyway ill do the questions first then get into fic discussion…

32) Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

i listen to SO MUCH MUSIC!!!!! it depends on what im wrting tbh but i just queue up a bunch of songs in my liked playlist and write and write until it ends or im no longer on that flow. and well my music taste is an absolute mess so there isnt any one definitive band or genre that does it for me (i only pay attention Sometimes) but i suppose artists like mitski and queen would be a decent summary of my taste 😅

50) How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

gravity falls, no stop. the first one that ever piqued my interest was versability (originally on ff.net me thinks) and god damn it HOOKED ME!!!! gravity falls was already getting me up but wow that just got me SO MUCH HIGHER. i have a few authors i started binge reading like thesnadger and pinesinthewoods, i started extracting fics from reccs from tumblr artists, soon discovered ao3, and never looked back. and as for writing fic,,,,, well frankly it was the search for the cure’s original form that got me GOING!!!! it originally had crappy ocs as the forefronters but i soon changed that lmao (im definitely not saying theyre bad in general, just those… no) and i wrote So Much For It on my notes app. i didnt realize i culd actually show people until way later, in which i did, and realized that it could actually be better. thats why i reversed back to part one, made the story a part two, scapped the ocs, and…now we’re here. i still love it and gravity falls, i dont really show it here anymore. i really should, man. i need to write for them again!!!! it still excites me!!!! and the prose that im weaving now,,,, id DEMOLISH THE GAME!!!!!!! :)

J) what your favorite fanfic trope? have you written it?

honestly i think just showing you my favorted ao3 tags will paint a very detailed picture. here:

though i suppose if i had to pick one here…god its between time loop and presumed dead (and grief/moruning but idk if thats a trope so much as it is a theme). MMMMMMMM. mmmmm. just YES. the psychological affects of both being a time loop and thinking someone you love is dead but they arent actually are DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!! they are a MUST HAVE. i daydream constantly, but i havent written time loop yet because while i love it, i havent hadthe motive to write such a thing myself. reading is chill ✊ and presumed dead well i try to throw it is as much as i can, the most recent ive used being a west end town and my favorite being that one kid from jersey ! i need to do more of these fr. its just so GOOD!!!!!!

okay. its finally time for the brainwashing discussing of the fic ! i can tell you alllll about that story and it will be my pleasure sonny 🫡 its a very long story. but short verison in case you dont want to go on: its a Titanic epic . april 1912. iceberg. ive read a few that are AMAZING, but i wanted to write one that catered it allll to Me. it has lesbians, heaven sucking ass, flood parallels, and a king of the world AND draw me like one of your french girls scene. very nice 🔥

okay now its time for the long story. so a super super long time ago for a post i cant even remember (i really wanna find it 😭😭) i for someone reason went on a tangent about the titanic. i had just read this fic called sinking into the sea which was tbh VERY GOOD (and i would read it again fr fr ) but at the time, i was kinda bummed that aziraphale and crowley never actually Interacted when i had expected. aziraphale didnt even know crowley was there!!! it left me feeling melancholy, and realizing that all of the titanic fics ive ate up to that point didnt HIT hit the spot (i didnt find this after this realization, but again, theyre not even on the boat 🤧) so i was feeling a bit incomplete. i started ranting and ranting it was a wholeee wall of a text of what I would do with a titanic story and i realized oh wait i can Do Something with this because i haev free will and actual (somewhat) coherent skill. pepper jumped on the wagon, REALLY REALLY encouraged which i cant thank enough for, and….we’re here. its brewing. i had a very large interest in the titanic for a long time before this tbh, so being able to insert it into The Interest just JUMPSTARTED my brain and it still does to this day. now for the plot….

its 2020, a year after the apocalypse (no pandemic). anathema, newt, brian, crowley, and aziraphale have been assigned to plan adam’s 12th birthday party—they shenanigan, as you do. on the day of the party (adam’s birthday) anathema and newt find a chest in jasmine cottage’s attic full of titanic relics, including a pack of polaroid photos (handheld cameras did indeed exist in 1912, i checked !) which kinda might sort of have a photo of aziraphale and crowley!?!?! it was sent to them about six months before. but after the whole Second Volume fiasco, anathema just sort of wrote it off in that way and Hid It. but newt was curious, he found it, and god it was writtent his way wasnt it. (well, not by the nutter they were thinking of actually). anathema confronts them about itsoon after, and they all sit down to hear the story of the titanic in a sort of rose dawson beat. then its 1912—50ish years since the holy water incident and almost a century since the resurrectionists disaster. aziraphale has been assigned to take this trip to new york for Some Reason (we found out why later) and happened to invite crowley to come along to attempt to make amends after Allat (he really does feel bad, but he will NOT do the holy water thing yet </3) shit occurs, but history atlarge will not be rewritten. it does change their story, though. adding a sprinkle of interest in the device family line. agnes prophec(y)(ies), dancing on deck under the stars, playing cards with humans and winning by a Lot, aziraphale’s artistic skills are put to use at one point—ughghgufhits just so DEAR TO ME!!!!! and of course the conflict will come later, especially considering the religious connections to the titanic sinking—“not even God can sink this ship” type conversation 🥰 aziraphale can and will be made uncomfortable. its for the character development dont worry about it. i even have a playlist for this fic (it sorted by the way the tone shifts thru the story, some songs are silly but they had to stay). pep has also made some song covers to some of the songs that ive heavily connected to the fic and I REALLY FUCKING LIKED. LIKE A LOT. THEYRE AMAZING YOU SHOULD LISTEN IF YOU WANT TO!!!!

the point of all this is that i like titanic fics and im trying to throw my hat in the ring even if its just for me and my friend 🔥🔥 because while others have fed me, i havent seen ones that have documented like Every Single Day on the titanic that aziraphale and crowley would theoretically have as well as developing aziraphale and crowley’s relationship while taking into account whats happened before (insert the story into a part of the timeline seamlessly i think thats how i’d describe) AS WELL AS connecting the reason why the titanic was such a freak tragedy and how the world is not fucking fair instead of just “oh whoops the thing sank 😞” i want NITTY GRITTY DETAIL!!!!!! I WANT GUILT!!!!!!! I WANT CHAOS!!!!!!!! I WANT TALKING ABOUT GOD!!!!!!! I WANT AZIRAPHALE IN A MENTAL CRISIS!!!!! I WANT CROWLEY JUST WANTING TO FUCKING LIVE FUCKING PEACEFULLY!!!!!!! I WANT LESBIANS!!!!!! i need to get on this,,,, so much to do. i love it all and TY FOR THE ASK!!!!

[be-steddie-myheart]

secret relationship steddie hiding from the party until they slowly find out one by one

~~okay i havent written anything in a while so im sorry if this isnt that good but here ya go!~~

Steve fell for Eddie pretty fast after Vecna was taken care of. After him, Dustin and the girls dragged his bloodied and broken body out of the upside down, Steve started visiting Eddie in the hospital. Not sure what the tight feeling in his chest was, or why he was pleading, begging, for him to wake up and look at Steve. When that day finally came Steve felt like he could kiss Eddie! Eddie was alive, Eddie was going to be okay, Eddie helped defeat Vecna. A few months after Eddie woke up, and him and Steve got closer, he finally did kiss him, and Eddie kissed him back.

It’s nearing the end of the Summer of ‘86 and Steve and Eddie have been in a peaceful, blissful little bubble of secret romance. To the party, they’re just bros being bros, but to themselves in the cover of nightfall or eddies cozy trailer or Steves big empty house theyre boyfriends. Boyfriends. Steve still couldnt wrap his head around it, but knowing that the sweet little kisses peppered all around his face and the strong arms cuddling him from behind were all his to cherish made it absolutely okay that no one suspected a thing. That is until their shared little shitbird child, Dustin, started asking too many questions.

It started off innocent enough, Dustin bursting through the doors of Family Video, “STEVE! I need a ride to the arcade tomorrow, im GOING TO beat Maxs’ high score on dig dug, i can feel it.”

“Sorry bud but i am busy busy tomorrow, I have a shift here, and then I have to take my car to the mechanic, its making an awful clicking sound, and then ive got a doct..”

“Jesus okay, a simple no would have sufficed”

“It really wouldnt have.” Steve said, sarcastically.

Dustins whole face lit up as he said, “thats okay ill just ask Eddie!” before turning heel and running to the door, Steve swearing he saw a cloud of dust following him he went so fast.

“Youre busy too?! What the hell man?! Whats the point of having two older friends with cars if i cant get rides from them?!” Dustin yelled a little too loud in Eddies little trailer.

“Sorry dude, ive gotta help Wayne out around the house, probably gonna take all day and night.” Eddie said with a smile forming on his face. Tomorrow, Steve had told Eddie to keep the whole entire 24 hours free, as he planned something cheesy, romantic and that would probably make Eddies heart swell a million times bigger.

“Ugh! whatever ill just ride my bike!” Dustin exclaimed.

“Its good to exercise!” Eddie called out the door as Dustin stomped off.

Mike and Dustin were sitting in the basement at Mikes house complaining about having no ride to the arcade the next day.

“Have you noticed how Steve and Eddie are always busy at the same time lately? Do you think theyre hanging out together without us?” Mike asks.

“Yeah you know, now that you say something it does seem like that. They didnt even know each other before us! You’d think they would be more grateful!” Dustin exclaims.

“Eddie, baby, come on in.” Steve smiles as he opens the door to his house. Once Eddie is inside it doesnt feel so empty. So cold.

“So what do you have planned for us, sweetheart?” Eddie asks, voice low, clearly excited to get the plans in action.

“Well i figured we could do some barbecuing together, skinny dip in the pool, watch the sunset and then lay under the stars,” Steve takes Eddies hand and leads him into the living room to the couch, “but right now i just really need to kiss you.” Steve spins Eddie around and gently pushes him onto the couch before crawling into his lap and planting his knees firmly on either side of Eddies waist. Steves arms drape over Eddies shoulder as their lips connect. Steve flicks his tongue out trace Eddies pouty bottom lip and Eddie opens his mouth to let Steve in. The kiss is passionate and hot and heavy and pretty soon both boys are frantically tearing at each others clothes. They try to get Steves shorts off without him having to give up his seat on Eddies lap and bump heads, giggling, as they get back into exploring each others mouths like its the first time again.

“I knew Eddie was going to be here! I knew they were hanging out without us, those jerks.” Dustin says as he hops off his bike and lets it fall into Steves front yard, Mike coming up right behind him. “Im catching them in the act of having fun without us.” He said smugly as he bursts through the front door. “Aha! Assho- OH MY GOD!”

Steve startles and jumps off of eddies lap, hiding himself behind the couch while Eddie grabs a pillow and covers his lap.

“What the actual fuck Henderson?!” Eddie exclaims. Mike walks in at that moment.

“Oh dude were you guys kissing?! Gross youre like my parents.” He said with a disgusted groan.

“Are you guys dating?” Dustin asks at the same time.

Steve holds his finger towards the boys, “First of all, its not gross because we literally are not your parents and second of all,” he looks down at Eddie, who is already looking up at him, giving him the go ahead with his eyes, “yes we are dating. But please dont tell anyone else, its still kinda new and we dont want a bunch of people knowing.”

Steve makes Dustin and Mike pinky swear they wont tell anyone what they saw. They also get a ride to the arcade by a grumpy Steve Harrington and a giggly Eddie Munson.

Two days later, at Eddies trailer, Steve is preparing breakfast for the two after a lovely night spent together.

“Kiss the chef, eh? Dont mind if i do.” Eddie giggles and gives Steve a chaste little kiss on the lips, “smells delicious sweetheart, I cant wait to eat.”

Steve smiles at the compliment and now he cant wait for Eddie to try what hes making.

The bext trailer over, El rips the blindfold down from her eyes as they almost bulge out of her skull.

“What?! Was Steve with a girl?!” Max asks frantically, the makeshift spin board with everyones names on it between them.

“No, Steve is at Eddies house and he is kissing him and making him breakfast” El says with a hint of surprise in her voice.

“No way.” Max gets up and goes to leave her trailer with El following closely behind her. They dont even knock on Eddies door, they just slam it open as Steve and Eddie jump apart from each other.

“What the hell is up with you twerps and not fucking knocking on doors?!” Steve yells.

“El saw you guys kissing so we had to come over and see if if it was really happening. Gross by the way.” Max said.

“Maybe dont spy on people if you dont want to be grossed out” Eddie laughed.

Lucas and Will found out the next day because Lucas wanted to get some basketball tips from Steve and Will tagged along because, come on, its Steve Harrington, who doesnt wanna look at that. After the boys apologized for the precarious situation they were found in, Will stayed behind after Lucas started to leave.

“Im really happy for you guys” Will spoke softly.

Eddie ruffles his hair, “thanks baby Byers, anytime you wanna talk you know you can come to us” Will thanked him and left before Lucas got curious as to why he wasnt following.

Robin and Nancy walked in on a hot and heavy makeout sesh at a party at the Hoppers-Byers household.

“Im surprised but im happy for you guys! you seem to fit well together” Nancy smiled after the inital awkwardness was over. She looked expectedly at Robin.

“Oh yeah i totally did not, didnt know you guys were together. What a complete shock but im- im happy for you” Robin spit out quick, knowing she was the only one who knew because she helped Steve through his bi-panic when we he realized he wanted to kiss Eddie.

At that same party, Steve and Eddie were interrupted again by a very high Argyle and Jonathon.

“You guys are cute. Know where we can go make-out?” Argyle asked while Jonathon blushed.

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Some of you have probably noticed that I havent made a liveblog post in a while. Well, thats because I usually read on the bus and during my classes and then I come home and summarize my thoughts on the 2-5 chapters I read after theyve marinated in my head for a little while, but unfortunately i appear to be incapacited at the moment so I cant do that. But because its been weeks and I dont wanna forget anything and I would very much like to finish this series soon, I'll try to read at home sometimes from now on. Since my brain is still a lil mush Im gonna do what I did for my last post, which is write down what Im thinking as Im reading instead of summarizing all my thoughts retroactively, except this time I have my german copy on hand so if I want to quote something it'll be a translation

Anyway, with all that said, welcome to my twisted mind, please enjoy my thoughts on A Court of Mist and Fury Chapters 40

Chapter 40

Ive been wanting to say this for a while now but i kept forgetting, but they translated 'winnowing' as 'den Wind spalten' ['splitting the wind'] and that is objectively so much cooler, shoutout to my gal Alexandra Ernst for that

Feyre being like "ugh, its so pathetic how these human guards think they could stand a chance against even one of us" hurts me so much you guys what have they done to my girl

Once again, its apparently perfectly fine if Rhysand doesnt tell Feyre anything "because she never asked" but if Tamlin doesnt tell her anything when she never asked hes the devil

Also once again, Feyre is perfectly not-triggered at Mor wearing a scarlet dress

Idk how to explain this, but Rhysand saying that Feyre is wearing a golden crown because "she looks so good with it, how could he not give her one" is somehow the perfect encapsulation of the hollowness of her High Lady title

Oh, of course three of the queens only showed up to watch the other two talk, itd be too hard to write dialogue if they actually participated in this important conversation

hello???? Feyre referring to humans as "your kind" ??? wth is going on

"every side bears some blame" hey rhysand ive got a question for ya. which side enslaved the other again

everytime the oldest queen does anything the prose feels the need to remind me of how old and wrinkly she is and its like, i get it, shes OLD

The oldest queen is spitting so hard rn, Im not even gonna question how they heard of the night court when Feyre, who lived closest to Prythian for many years, didnt know anything aout the individual courts prior to getting there herself, Im just gonna put her whole little monologue here: "Oh? [...] The High Lord of the Night Court asks that we join him so that we can save lives together? Fight for peace? And what about the lives that you have taken during your long, despicable existance? What about the High Lord who shrouds himself in darkness and destroys the mind of those who stand in his way? [...] We have heard of you on the continent, Rhysand. We have heard of what the Court of Night is capable of, what you do to your enemies. Peace? I wouldn't have thought that you - a man who enslaves the minds of others and kills them out of pure enjoyment - even know that word."

Anyway, she was spitting absolute bars and Feyre gets super mad about it and almost commits arson but manages to reign herself in and its like girlie, why are you so upset? one of the first things we find out about the night court in this book is that they apparently indiscriminately kill (or atleast torture) anyone who crosses the night court border without permission like theyre the fucking us government, i think the bad reputation is justified

Forgive me if I sound callous, but I have absolutely no sympathy for Rhysand flinching at the mention of Amarantha when Feyre didnt even use her name and is also talking about how she fucking DIED AT HER HANDS

God, I feel like I have something to say about every single line this post is gonna be like 10 thousand words long by the time Im done

So lets take it from the top; Feyre tries to convince the mortal queens to give them the half of the book by recounting to them how much everyone suffered under Amarantha and how she was gruesomely beaten to death and then revived, which is not a compelling argument to me, who actually witnessed all of that, much less these queens who have barely any context for anything shes saying right now

The oldest queen is like "you dont know anything about anything" which is true what the fuck does Feyre know about whats going on in the human world or even the fae world at large, and then Rhysand growls "dont you dare talk down to her!!" because shes passionate and speaking from the heart or whatever and its like, okay, shes still not good at politicking or even just basic negatioation and shes talking to a seasoned politician who old as fuck

Like, if Feyre was actually smart, she wouldve long since realized that she couldnt convince these queens to protect this little slip of land right up to prythians border and been like "okay, you dont wanna protect the land, but can you atleast organize an evacuation so you can atleast save the people" Sure, they definitely still wouldnt have agreed to that because its a sjm book and theyre written to be comically evil, but it would atleast demonstrate Feyre being a little savvy, because right now all we're getting is her being stupid and stubborn in a situation where she really cant afford that

god, im just now noticing how pissed off I am, its been bleeding into my commentary and its not gonna stop, Im sorry. wait no, if youre reading this youre probably looking for negativity, so youre welcome, actually

Anyway, Rhys also says that Feyre is a kindhearted soul looking out for people who cant defend themselves even though she definitely thought that those human guards were pathetic for wanting to defend themselves when she and the other fae were soooooo much more powerful and he definitely knows that because the mental bond is fully open during this meeting and he chastises the queens for being selfish and cowardly when its like, my brother in christ you are doing the exact same bullshit, but atleast the queens are defending a wholeass continent while hes defending one (1) city. and iirc that city ends up getting attacked and destroyed anyway so good job my guy

Theres something so oddly biblical about the story Mor is telling about Miriam, down to her name being Miriam

That island thats removed from time is such bullshit istg

Is it just me or have these bozos not actually explained what they even need the other half of the book for. theyre just like "we need to stop this war and we'd like peace between humans and fae" and its like cool, hows the book gonna help with that though

im sorry, feyre wants to punch that old woman in the face????

the chapter ends with Elain being like "I hope they burn in hell" and i get that, they just straight up said that they want to abandon a whole bunch of people (them included) to die if a war breaks out, but you cant say that the night court girlies are not also at fault for being so fucking bad at politics

[shitpostingsystem]

bsd ramblings (season 3 and 4)

“is there really any value to this thing we call living?” dazai’s a mood

KID DAZAI AND CHUUYA OMFGOMFG

“what kind of suicidal punk are you” — chuuya to his future husband 

omg i love the sillies

mori sounds like the kurzgesagt dude ngl

THEY HATE EACH OTHER OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE

THE  B A N T E R

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

chuuya being a shortie is so fun. “i’m still growing” growing my ass just kiss dazai already 

THE ODA PARALLELS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

dazai you autistic motherfucker 

chuuya being a gang leader is fun

dazai is my silly

wait so chuuya’s technically 7 years younger than he actually is? 

gravity boi x suicidal manic, my favorite ship dynamic 

THE BABIS ARE SKKING THE BABIS ARE SKKING THEYRE DOUBLE BLACK WKEHRUEHUFUEBDHDHSBEH

when are dazai and chuuya gonna kiss dammit

THE SILLIES ARE BANTERING JEUDHWHSUHE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

WHY IS DOSTOYEVSKY SO FINE

dostoyevsky is so silly

i am in dire need of more pm dazai. i need it all. i need more. i crave my husband’s past life. i need to see him and chuuya kiss while wiping out their enemies. 

i can’t wait to write fanfic once i finish this show. i don’t wanna screw up anything canon wise so i’ll wait. i’ll watch all of the show plus the spin-off to get all the dazai i can. i’ve already pirated the movie, nothing can stop me now. 

dazai is a slut and i love him for it. this is actually canon (at least during his pm years he was) 

dazai x kunikida x chuuya

kyouka is my child, i love her so much 

I HATE FANSERVICE. I THOUGHT BSD WOULD BE THE GOOD ANIME WITHOUT IT

KYOUKA MY BABY IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS I LOVE HERRRRR

power of money?? real american o7 yeehaw capitalism 

bro just walked into someone’s home, sat down, and started laughing

“black daniels” HEY THATS JACK DANIELS

“hey poe!! it’s so nice to see you!!” JUST KISS ALREADY YOU TWO

the random ass fish-eye cuts in this show 😭😭

“OBJECTION!!” what is this, ace attorney???

i love how the superhumans are called gifteds, implying they’ve taken at least one honors/ap course. by that logic, i’m extra gifted (im in honors history and english) 

i haven’t seen dazai in a while wtf. where’s my husband?? i’ve barely seen kunikida, let alone chuuya. ok he’s here rn, prob won’t be for long 

ok but seriously mori is a pedo. elise is getting used even though she’s a fucking brat who gets what she wants

oh shit they got blew up

nvm 

DID AKUTAGAWA JUST NARUTO RUN

oh shit i forgot the catholic existed. puritan, whatever. same difference, both are culty at times

FUCK MORI. THAT FUCKING PEDO.

i think what i love about bsd is that the characters are complex. dazai can be considered a serial killer and definitely bad mentor to akutagawa but an amazing mentor to atsushi and is my husband

i love dostoyevsky’s english va. they did such an amazing job. 100/10 russian accent 

MY HUSBAND GOT SHOT OMGOMGOMG MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

HI CHUUYA I MISSED YOU. AKUTAGAWA TOO HI HELLO 

RANPO <33 MY SILLY GETTING SERIOUS OOOOOO

HI KENJI IT’S BEEN SO LONG I HAVENT SEEN YOU

CHUUYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

virus cannibalism my favorite /j

kunikida has tear gas powers? what is he, a cop???

oh noooo a kid got shotttttt how terribleeeeee  /s

THE SAD AF MUSIC I CANT WHY IS THERE A CELLO HERE

oh that’s why, dostoyevsky has one

I LOVE GIN <33

kenji the silly!! 

“aren’t you the one who lost to dazai?” RANPO RUBBING THE WOUND IN DAMN

the music is autism frfr

KARL <333333

“if ranpo really were to die in that world though, what would i do with myself?” — edgar allen poe

katai’s dead? damn. rip ig

oh shit here’s the bowl cut lemon dude

the office girls are dating 

damn fukuzawa and mori had a past together

WHY DOES NATSUME LOOK LIKE WALMART HITLER 

dazai making his kids work together is gold

“what did you have for dinner last night?” “yes” GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

the classical music omg 

“you’re quite the rough ride, yknow” that’s what she said

“enough, you’re not paying for this ride” that’s what she said

incel (katai) isn’t dead 

i love how dazai is the mafia boss in a different timeline 

akutagawa and atsushi are so down bad for each other omg

my native english speaking ass hears theodore instead of fyodor. i’m pretty sure it’s the same but different languages but still 

dazai <3

ranpo <3

BAR LUPIN BAR LUPIN WJSBAJBSKWUSMSIMSJDBHSJSHSHS IM GONNA CRY 

wait so season 4 is fukazawa focused? dammit i wanted more dazai

HI RANPO MY SCRUNGO HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

i fucking love ranpo. the silly 

he’s such a brat. good for him 

IS THERE A CULT????? LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE CHRISTIANITY ON STEROIDS 

oh it’s the play 

“there something everyone else gets and i don’t get it” RANPO MY AUTISTIC SCRUNGO <33 

ranpo my silly <33

honestly i keep forgetting they’re detectives

ranpo has adhd and autism 

ranpo got fucking bitch slapped i love him 

“as always, i have a hard time saying no to ranpo” ITS BECAUSE YOURE GAY POE

“but i got to see your rare, exasperated face so it was well worth the money!” poe you homosexual 

“are you that detective’s fanboy or something?” “no i’m his rival!” how about boyfriend? 

i fucking love ranpo omg 

NIKOLAI IS SO SILLY 

why can i handle anime gore but not irl organs omg

my gore levels are weird. organs and bodily fluids (beside blood) are a no-go but i can see a dead body no problem 

when did atsushi become op

“a total of 625 charges…” MY BABY GETTING ARRESTED NOOO

GOD I FUCKING LOVE NIKOLAI

wait so the ada is a front? wtf??

i’m so confused wtf is going on

the decay of angels would be a cool ass band name

ok so moot says ada is innocent and shit like that. i trust them.

teruko is my child 

everyone’s a shitty person i love them

HI CHUUYA OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA

why chuuya kinda 😳😳

kunikida has ocd (i’m not projecting wdymmm) 

“i won’t let anyone mess up my schedule!” whole mood and a half there kunikida

WHY DOES THE FANDOM IGNORE KUNIKIDA BEING AN IDEALIST OMG

dazai <33333333333333333333

dazai and dostoyevsky are besties fuck you

“she’s so strong-willed! i love it!” MORI YOU PEDO

“Dazai is a good person SOMETIMES! But he’s also a criminal who has done fucked up shit! And he has a personality! He’s really smart! And lowkey manipulative to get what he wants! He’s not amazing!” my moot gets it!! 

morally dubious characters <33

i love yosano so much 

HI ANGO

i love lucy 

sticking out your gyatt for the rizzlerrr you’re so skibidiiiiiiii you’re so fanum taxxxxxx i just wanna be your SIGMAAAAAAAAAAA

sigma is so silly. i love him

dazai is a weezer fan

chuuya is a nirvana fan 

i’m terrible with names so i’m like “oh damn That Dude” both fictional and irl. like atsushi was Terrible Bang Traumatized Furry until i got his name 

i don’t even read omegaverse but every time they say sigma i cringe 

sigma has amnesia?? mood

bro’s a fictional character within a world of fictional characters 

dostoyevsky <3333

sigma named himself??? nah don’t even he was born with an ao3 account 

i don’t know shit about cosmetology but if i got ahold of sigma i would fix his hair

oh hey catholic scarlet letter man

if my beautician aunt saw atsushi and sigma she would take them out of the show, fix their hair, beat them up, and put them back as changed men 

I LOVE DAZAI OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN HIS VOICE GETS SUPER LOW AND AKENSISBIZHWHXHWBZUWBZIBQIXHWNXHD

WHERE THE HELL IS CHUUYA OMFG 

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

having insomnia is Great :)) i would like to request mayhaps a scenario where the reader is so sleep deprived that they havent gotten a proper good nights rest and it doesnt help that theyre overwhelmed with some sort of work. precious moth boy notices reader acting all weird and very sleepy than usual that he catches them practically on the verge of passing out one day before they head off to work so he makes the reader go to bed with him and cuddle until they finally get some sleep

hmmm yes i would also like a big Abyss moth to snuggle me to sleep <333

~ * ~ Chasing Dreams

Foul Legacy Childe x Reader Gender Neutral (no pronouns mentioned) Fluff Warnings: Mentions of sleeplessness and you being absolutely exhausted (Childe helps though <33)

~ * ~ To live in Teyvat is to toil. It’s the fate you’ve resigned yourself to, of course, as all people of the Harbor have. Every child was taught at a young age by their friends, mentors, and family, “You must work to be successful. Give everything you’ve got, every day, and you will be rewarded.” And everyone keeps that hope in their heart, toiling and working away day after day in hopes of obtaining that hidden prize at the end. A few did reach it- Ladies Ningguang and Keqing, Captain Beidou, Director Hu Tao all found success, although the work never stopped for them. They found their reward. They found their prize. Apparently your reward is sleep deprivation and a mountain of paperwork that never seems to shrink. With a long-suffering groan you slide into your chair, fingers already grasping for your pen- your poor, worn, used pen that’s been molded to the shape of your hand. It’s nearly out of ink, you’ll need to get a new one soon. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you turn your attention to the document before you and banish your weariness to the back of your head. This form is to be submitted tomorrow morning, along with others, and you need to finish it before anything else. Bowing your head towards your desk, you rest the nib of your pen on the paper and begin to write. It’s hours later when you look up, the dawning sun giving way to a hot and bright noon. You can feel the still, warm air in your office, and you wave your hand like a makeshift fan to cool down. The only sound in the room is your pen scratching busily on the document, which quickly fades once you begin to register your joints aching. When you look down, the paper is filled and written, but there’s ink splattered across your fingers. You hiss in irritation, then sigh and shrug. At least it’s not on your paperwork. Your stomach growls, and you feel like growling yourself at the sunbeams that dance against the walls, taunting and mocking you. We’re out here, and you’re in there, working away while we shine and glow and enjoy each other’s company! Silly human, you never learn! You promptly shut the door in the sunlight’s face, almost stalking your way to the kitchen in search of some food. The drifting scent of tea eases the tension in your shoulders, and you close your eyes to take a deep inhale- it’s one of Zhongli’s blends, one of your and Childe’s favorite. Childe… Childe! You run the rest of the way to the kitchen, partially scared your beloved Abyss monster burned himself on the hot water, but also hopeful that you might be able to take a few minutes to snuggle into his fluff for a moment of peace and quiet. When you toss the door open, there he is, sitting at the table fiddling with two mugs full of steaming tea. He glances up and trills happily when he sees you, beaming in pride as he nudges a mug in your general direction. Gratefully you sit, sipping the hot tea and letting your mind wander. It jumps, from place to place, trains of thought starting and ending as soon as they appear in tandem with your tired, exhausted self. Childe chirps, and you blink tiredly, registering it just a moment too late. The chirp turns into a concerned whine, and he rises to come over to your side of the table, sitting beside you and worrying his fluff with his own claws. You reach forward to untangle said claws from his soft fur, and Childe in turn evades your hands to gently cup your face, croon soft and worried. His thumb presses against your cheek, just like the way you run your fingers over his mask when he needs comfort, and you lean into the touch with a silent exhale before looking up and forcing yourself to smile. “I’m okay, really.” Childe chitters, clearly in disagreement, but you simply shake your head and stand, holding your half-empty mug in your hand. You give him a quick peck on the cheek, which he returns with utmost care. But it’s covered by his fretful whimper, and he nudges his forehead against yours a moment too long, whining when you pull away and walk back to your office. You’re too deep in thought to see Childe’s worried gaze fixed upon your retreating figure as you return to your chair and desk, well known to you by now, and get back to work. The next time you glance up from the scattered papers on your desk, the sun is watery and just peeking over the horizon, on its way to carve its usual steady path through the sky. You frown, then wince as the movement sends pain shooting through your head, your previously pushed away weariness making itself very known and clear. You must’ve worked all day and night- at least most of the paperwork is done. Slowly, as to not upset your already-pounding head even more, you pack your bags and brush out your mussed hair. No time for breakfast this morning, you need to submit these documents as soon as possible. You toss on your coat as you make your way to the front door, blinking blearily at the morning light streaming through the windows. Your shoes sit lopsided on the floor where you kicked them off last night, too absorbed in your work to line them up neatly, and you sit to tie the laces, laces that look like little wriggling snakes to your tired, gritty eyes. Your fingers fumbling with your shoes is the last thing you remember before you nod off, right there at the front door, and are subsequently shaken awake and met with frantic chitters and trills. Childe kneels before you, claws grasping your shoulders, and he lets out a relieved coo when he sees you open your eyes. You mumble a “Thank you” before yawning so wide you can hear your jaw crack, and Childe yawns too, much like a cat. Then he crosses his arms, leveling you with a stern glare. He can’t speak, but the way he chirps and trills so seriously gets the message across to you all the same- you need sleep, badly. You rapidly shake your head, holding up the folder full of documents, filled, inked documents you spent so long making sure were perfect and all in order, but Childe huffs and squints at you. What about making sure your health is perfect and all in order? What about taking care of yourself? You can’t find an answer, lapsing into silence again. Childe’s glare softens, and he leans down to pick you up, sweeping your pained body against his own, leaning your aching head against the fluff that you love to spend hours brushing. He carries you to his room, despite your protests. “It won’t work. I can’t sleep.” He pushes open the door, your words falling upon deaf ears as he looks around for the perfect place to set you down. The entire room is covered in soft blankets and pillows, forming a nest of sorts- although it’s rarely used at night. He prefers to snuggle up with you in your bed at those times. But Childe’s room is wonderful for naps and cuddles, and he lowers you into a dip in the covers, perfectly sized for your body. Then he settles next to you, curling his body around yours to press his forehead against yours, his crystal-clear eye gazing into your drowsy, drooping ones. He holds something up to you- your half-full tea mug- and drapes an arm over your torso as you sip, snuggling his horned head on top of yours. A delicate wing flicks itself over your body, starry patterns speckling its surface, and you absentmindedly run your fingers over its edge. Your slow, gentle touch makes Childe purr, and the soothing rumble he makes runs through your body and drains the remaining stress and tension away. You feel yourself go limp, eyes struggling to stay open, but Childe simply croons, each note in his voice filled to bursting with love and affection. He drops a hand over your eyes, blocking out the rapidly-brightening sunlight, and you drowsily nuzzle into his touch like he does to you. Childe’s purrs increase in intensity and volume, and you swear you can pick out a touch of pride in his tone, as wordless as the sound is. A sleepy, content smile plays on your lips as you snuggle deeper into the blankets and finally allow your eyes to drift shut and pull you into slumber. Childe makes sure you’re breathing deeply, comfortably ensnared in sleep, before tightening his grip on you and burying his face in your hair. His own eye blinks tiredly, and closes as he leaves to find you, and join the delighted chase between dreams and stars.

[spikeinthepunch]

if you thought that was the last post i would write today about Lisa, you are a fool. i wrote that last one at 2am so i have energy for another one, bc i had *more* thoughts even after that

TW for sexual abuse/rape/assault (i am going into more detail so please take that TW seriously)

Do victims talk? & how all the men mean something.

This is stupid long, sorry lol. i threw two topics into one.

okay so i had these thoughts on my mind prior and again i havent played Joyful (a few minutes of the start only)-- but with just the context of Painful this still sits on my mind.

Do victims talk? I want to answer this for myself.

Lisa (the character) was sexually abused and The First was pretty much an inner look at her mind. This reflects through most of Painful whenever it comes up, even if they aren't straightforward about it. That was the main thing, was not being clear when i played Painful, I didn't know what I was getting into. but with enough information it wasn't hard to side with Brad whether it was because of the abuse or the suicide-- and the fact that Buddy had been kidnapped in a world of men, who needed her in order to bring the world back. From the start, I felt like I knew what was coming in that regard...

But Buddy's important to the world was clear.... Obviously important. But Buddy is a child and so when Brad has a realization/assumption over what will happen the player can side with him. When i played i was immediately like, oh god, oh jesus. Of course I wanted Brad to save her... what I saw in their life of Brad keeping her inside didn't seem wrong, not exactly.

But there was a change of mindset towards the end of the game. Thats where that good intent falters. And you look back and question things... you kind of realize why Buddy acted how she did, and how she has been able to defend herself.

But the biggest notice to me is the lack of Buddy talking about anything the men implied they did to her. When you explore you hear them say vulgar things, then you get the to the Hairspray guys (whatever theyre called) and you hear what they're saying about having her in a back room for men to take turns on her and thats the first "oh god" moment. You of course find a man in her place, but still implied that she was in fact here and escaped. So, the implication still remains... You haven't seen Buddy at this point so you dont know what she'd say.

But when you do-- that is when she brings up Sticky. And yet again, the implications make it sound like Sticky raped her to 'teach' her about sex. But buddy seems to describe it vaguely after Brad gets mad about it. To continue this furthers and more quickly-- other instances of abuse/violence/assault on Buddy that are show or mentioned are Buzzo cutting off her nipple (shown), the mutilation of her face (shown), and at the start of Joyful the comment that one of Rando's 'friends' tried to touch/assault/rape her when she was tied up (off screen). That last one, Buddy again brushes off and doesnt say much.

So what do i say this all for. Well, the question is "how much of this actually happened to buddy?" We saw some on screen violence. But rape, assault, molestation? She doesnt say it exactly... but I think any survivors or those familiar would know full well that that doesnt mean it didnt happen. I think its completely wrong to assume nothing could have happened. lets break down the things that occurred from Buddy's end/how she acts, and some other details

Brad has already closed her off and isolated her. she doesnt know like, anything. she probably doesnt understand at all what sex would be and what would be bad (much like many csa victiums!)-- especially if Sticky did it, someone she trusts.

She shuts down when she starts to tells Brad, not exactly because she doesnt want to tell him- rather because he starts to get mad. Buddy knows that is a scary reaction from the past and probably ties that all into the anger Brad had towards her wanting to learn and explore (something she felt Sticky did)

overall, Buddy wants to use this opportunity to explore and see and learn and most of all, not be with Brad. she doesnt want to talk to him or share with him anything because she knows what hes like.

and ultimately... victims often dont tell people. maybe they dont know how. maybe they dont realize its abuse (again, common for children who dont know a lot). and for buddy too, she doesnt trust the one person who wants to make sure she is safe from all of it.

to go on the statements Buddy and others make regarding these events- i think it would be odd for all of those men to be lying. especially sudden moments like the start of Joyful (especially when the guys said they killed the other for what he tried to do). The Sticky instance was stated by Buddy in a vague way herself which is reliable. there was enough shown violence, attraction, and ability to contain her for moments that it just doesnt seem right to think theyd be lying too, like the Hair guys.

In the end you have two important things to think about: Buddy does not trust Brad anymore. She won't tell him anything. And the men like bragging. They loved talking about her. With the evidence we had about when she had been capture her, this doesnt look like lying from them- they were proud to have potentially having her for good.

In this story the men mean a LOT. they imply so much. and after the secret boss fight? I realized they mean so much more.

How all the men mean something.

The secret fight with Marty showed how deeply ingrain he is in Brad's mind. I expressed a LOT more about that in this post from last night. But the main thing to gather for this topic is how a lot of that mindset is defended by Marty as "this is how men should be".

Masculinity. Power. Control. Dominance. He expected the same from Brad and failing to do so meant he was weak, unworthy, pathetic, unmanly... While Brad escaped and desperately didn't want to be like him, he did what Marty did to Dusty and he abused drugs, etc. For Brad, he cannot shake the guilt that he will be the abuser his father was.

What does this have to do with the world of Olathe being full of men? Oh it has so much to do with the story. The implications... Olathe is full of men. They have formed groups who fight each other and are quite horribly violent at times. Masculinity is undeniably at its peak, and directs much of their culture....

You see how masculinity plays a huge role? No not every man alive here is horrible and abusive. But the point is that masculinity drives them, and more often than not its an "excuse" to living the way they do. Be tough, hold your ground, don't let anyone make you weaker than them. If you're weak and you can't stand up, you will face consequences for it. Toughen up.

The sense of power and dominance these men have in this world became WAY more obvious when Buddy comes up. They are scrambling to find her and their dynamics become incredibly violent and push these aspects of masculinity to the worst of it. Marty's mindset is the worst of the twisted idea of how to assert authority, and how to treat someone weaker than you. You can do as you want. You can beat them or rape them. The culture that Olathe created for these men made them fall into this warped mindset much like the one Marty promoted. These guys knew Buddy was a weak little child. They wanted to use her and do as they pleased. They could they could because they were bigger, powerful, etc.

Their words and wishes are basically as disgusting as the things Marty would say. I think thats enough to solidify that connection.

Lisa has an incredibly interesting narrative on how a Victim is viewed from the outside. How abuse effects further abuse- the distrust of child to guardian in telling them when something bad has happened and the inability to save them due to it. And from the inside, how masculinity through trauma can warp your mind. How the influence of a man towards man, feeds into a cycle of abuse and the world where that masculine culture is ingrained in everyone no matter how deeply they act on it.

cycles. "you cant escape". everything things about it seems utterly hopeless but the game still pushes you towards something-- it makes you want to crawl towards the light that Brad struggles to reach. but this was never an easy process. your action created consequences you never wanted to happen in the first place. your intentions were selfish- you didnt learn, you didnt understand how actually fix this. it was a desperate attempt.

but by god you want to change it so bad. isnt that something? internally you gotta keep holding on to it. jesus christ, dont let go, or itll be all for nothing. you are not fated to be your abuser. you are not fated to never escape. you have to remember that. you must face all of this but you have to fucking rip apart the guilt and the anger and the sadness to get there first. maybe this wasnt the way to do it. but please dont give up, okay? thats what its all about.