#theyre best friends they speak once every three months

[keldabekush]

Commander Doom recieves a text from Fox that just says "i have to kill myself" and he just sighs huge and has to ask "who in the senate did you accidentally call My Liege this time." And "you have to stop listening to fantasy romance novels at work."

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

[literaila]

we used to

“the middle” 

spencer reid x reader 

summary: spencer cant remember the reader. she wont let him forget her. 

this is actually part two! part one here 

warnings: mentions of blood, mentions of pain, memories? angst. theres slashes though words (for example) but theyre meant to represent numbness

also! i wrote some of this while some teenage kids were watching me sit against a tree. i just thought that was important to add. enjoy! 

“Where did we meet?” 

“A little park. I was laying down enjoying the sunshine, and you came over, worried, and started checking my pulse. You said you wanted to make sure I wasn't dead.” 

She laughed. 

But she didn't tell him about the way his eyes had gotten bigger when she looked up at him. She didn't tell him how he swallowed, his face suddenly nervous. He didn't tell her how she had started laughing at him, and he blushed embarrassed. 

“After that, I asked if I could play chess with you. You let me win.”

She didn't tell him about the years she’d spent teasing him for that. She didn't tell him about the number she’d managed to slip into his bag when he’d been distracted. The number he didn't use for weeks. She didn't tell him how rejected she felt every day that went by, didn't tell him that she went to the same park almost every day just to see him. She didn't tell him about the disappointment that coursed through her veins every time she checked her phone. 

“Where was our first date?” 

“You took me to the museum. You were really nervous. I was almost worried you would run out of things to tell me.” 

She didn't tell him that it was one of the first things she’d noticed about him. That she’d loved that he had so much to say from the very beginning. 

They’d spent three days together. 

Spencer had to stay two weeks after he’d woken up. The first week was spent testing his memory, making sure everything was still in order. He spent day after day, meeting doctors, in machines. People were visiting him right and left, but he was almost always gone. 

She didn't see him much that week. 

The next week his doctors were sure that everything was fine. Besides the amnesia, there were no other effects on his brain. His broken leg was healing nicely, and he would be fine in a couple of weeks. 

But, they said, they wanted to keep him there just one more week, to make sure that they hadn't missed anything. 

So he stayed. 

And Y/N started going to see him that week. 

She’d been hesitant, worried that he wouldn't actually want to see her, that he had changed his mind, but as soon as she knocked on the door he seemed to be bright and awake. She took that as a good sign. 

Since then, three days have passed. They’d spent the majority of those days together. Spencer was full of questions, full of things that he couldn't remember he’d already told her, his brain never seemed to stop turning, to stop thinking. 

She was used to it. 

Most of the time, she was doing all of the talking. She was telling him about their relationship, about herself, she was telling him about all the things he’d learned about her in the course of five years, she was cramming it all into short sentences, giving up on giving any important details. 

It was exhausting. 

Sometimes, she started to say something, was about to mention something that they'd done together, but she always paused mid-sentence, reminded of the life Spencer had lost, of all of their days together that were lost. 

And other times, Spencer was telling her something, was talking so that she didn't have to, and he mentioned something that she already knew. He mentioned things about his childhood, about the way Derek teased him, the way Penelope was good at making him feel flustered, and she always felt herself wince. Because she already knew all of those things. She knew more things about him than he did, she knew almost everything. And he didn't. 

It was like two strangers talking. 

Except the only stranger in the room was her. 

She wasn't acting like herself. 

She was trying to avoid scaring Spencer, rushing into things, scaring him away from her forever. 

So she didn't act like herself. 

She hid the little details, the tiniest things that she didn't want him to know, she kept them locked away, didn't add them into the stories that he was always asking for. She did it constantly. And to some extent, it felt like lying, it felt like taking something important away from him. But, she also knew how easily overwhelmed her Spencer could get, she knew about all of the things that would scare him. So she didn't feel as bad hiding things from him. 

Derek and Penelope came almost every day. Some days the best they could manage was a call. Cases were taking over, the world not stopping for Spencer, and a couple of times they couldn't get to Spencer quick enough. 

So they called. And every time, Spencer seemed almost uncomfortable. He always asked if Y/N wanted to talk to them, always hesitant, because he didn't know how close all of them were, he didn't know if Y/N would feel pressured by his friends if she even liked them. 

All Spencer knew was there was a pretty girl, a girl he’d once known, sitting in his room. 

Today was like all the other days, Spencer asking questions, this time about their history together. 

Y/N had been looking out the window, daydreaming of a time where she didn't feel like a stranger to her own body. 

Spencer cleared his throat trying to get her attention. 

She looked over to him, her eyes wide and empty, she made a noise of acknowledgment, a sign that he could go on. She watched as he gathered his thoughts, already familiar with the look in his eyes.

 “What did I like about you?”

She paused. Looked away from him. What did he like about her? 

They’d talked about it many times. He’d told her thousands of times how much he loved her. She’d heard it over and over again, felt it pounding in her heart, racing around her head, every day for five years.

It didn’t seem long enough.

She thought about the things he used to compliment. 

“Your eyes. They’re so beautiful. They look like they hold all the secrets of the world.” 

She remembered him running his hands through her hair, moving it so he could see more of her face. She remembered his eyes. She remembered how comfortable they felt. 

“I hope you’ll tell me one day.” he’d said, after minutes of just looking at each other. 

“Tell you what?” she whispered, ducking her head down into his chest. 

He hadn’t answered. They both fell asleep. 

She thought of the time he told her she would look beautiful in anything. 

“It doesn’t matter to me what you wear. You’re perfect to me, always.” 

After that, he never stopped telling her that. 

“You’re perfect to me.”

“You’re perfect for me.”

“You’re perfect with me.”

“Always.”

For a moment, she wished she could hear it again. 

She removed that thought from her head almost as soon as it entered. She forced it away, locking it into her cage, somewhere deep in her body, where it wouldn’t be found again. 

She shouldn’t be thinking about things like that. 

“I think you liked that I was so open to learning new things. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t listen to you say.” 

Spencer contemplated that. He thought of all the people that asked him to stop talking, told him that it was too much, too far. 

She was probably right. 

But that seemed like a silly reason for him to love her. 

He finally nodded, accepting her answer. 

And then the nurse came in. 

And she had to leave 

 ***

Later that week, it was time for Spencer to go home.

It was time for both of them to go home since Y/N had refused to leave without him, even when he’d woken up. 

She was nervous.

She didn’t want him to know she was nervous.

They’d been living together for almost two years, together they had picked out an apartment, one that both of them had loved. They’d spent every day they had together, when they were both home, in their tiny apartment. She didn’t know what Spencer now would think about it. He’d lost all memories of it, lost all of their shared moments at home together, and when he’d asked about his apartment, the one he’d had five years ago, Y/N didn’t know what to say. 

He’d given up that apartment for her. 

He didn’t have any place to live beside their apartment. 

She smiled at him when he asked and told him about apartment searching, about how he was sure to get the safest apartment they could find. 

“We need it Y/N.” he’d whined when she refused to get the one apartment he deemed safest- because it came with a double lock and no balcony -she’d only smiled at him, kissing his nose and walking away. 

Eventually, she’d caved in. Spencer didn’t seem to like any other apartments after that one. 

After she was done sharing the story, done trying to remind him who he was supposed to be, he smiled nervously at her. 

She knew he was uncomfortable. She knew that he didn’t want to live in a brand new place, with a strange girl who he was supposed to be in love with. 

In his mind, they’d only known each other for two days, in his mind, she wasn’t anything special. In his mind, it was weird to live with someone you’d only just met.

Y/N didn’t know how to make him feel more comfortable. 

She tried to remind herself that it would take time, that it had taken time when they’d first moved in, that it would take time again. 

She didn’t want time. 

She wanted Spencer. 

She ignored that. Instead, she spent her time making sure she had all the proper medical equipment at their apartment. She spent the moments she wasn’t with Spencer online, looking for different things that could make a broken leg, a forgotten five years, easier. 

She also looked for things to prevent the pain she felt every time she moved. She didn’t want to breathe out smoke every time she tried to speak, tried to breathe. 

So far she hadn’t found anything. Her doctor recommended pain medication, told her about all the drugs that could help her. 

She refused to listen. 

She didn’t even know why. 

And now it had been more than a month since the accident, and they were finally going home. 

Together. 

She helped Spencer sign all his release papers, reminding him where he lived, what his phone number was, who they could call in case of emergency. 

She helped him and then it was time to go. It was time to go. 

They walked side by side out of the hospital, Spencer enjoyed the air outside, enjoyed something that didn’t feel like the stale walls of the hospital he’d been locked up in. Y/N looked back at the hospital. Almost longingly. Almost as if she wanted to go back. She wouldn’t feel as nervous as she did if they were still in the hospital. 

She brought him to her car. Helped him get in. They both smiled at each other awkwardly. 

The ride home was silent. Neither of them spoke a word. Spencer spent the time looking out the window, observing the drive he couldn’t remember, watching the world pass him by. Y/N avoided looking at him. She avoided looking at anything. She drove and she tried to remind herself that everything was fine. They were both going to be fine. 

By the time they got there, to the tiny apartment, both of them had only managed to rack up more nerves. 

“This is it.” Y/N said, getting out of the car, trying to keep her face calm, her body comfortable, to go help Spencer get out of the car. 

She showed him the way to the elevator. Listed out all of their neighbors that lived on the first floor. 

“This is Mrs. Hankel’s apartment. She loves you. She hates me.” she said as she passed by a door. 

It was the first laugh they shared all day. 

As they walked Spencer looked back at the door longingly. 

When they finally arrived at the door Spencer looked down at the welcome mat, laughing a little.

The mat, brown and boring, with a barely notice scrip at the bottom reading 

“shoes off, fuckers” 

Spencer looked back up at Y/N to see her laughing with him. They were getting closer, the invisible wall keeping them apart seemed to disappear for a moment. 

“Why do we-?” he asked, chuckling as he watched her smile. 

He could see the way she lit up, the life that had joined her eyes, he could see the immediate difference in her body just by looking at the mat. 

“You kept pestering me about a welcome mat,” she laughed, shaking her head and looking up at Spencer. “But Y/N '' she imitated him, “Studies have shown that most toxic chemicals that end up inside a person's home are tracked in by their shoes. A doormat would stop that-'' she giggled, her words fading. “You just wouldn’t give it up. Eventually, we had to compromise.” she ended, pointing her hand at the mat and smiling at him. 

It was her first real smile. 

Spencer felt dazed. 

But, almost as quick as it was there, it disappeared, fading off her face, her eyes becoming stone again. 

The wall was back up. 

She reminded herself not to overwhelm him, not to do anything that would be too much. She never wanted to be too much for him. He needed help, not her emotions. 

She was still reminding herself of that as they walked in the doors. 

Spencer looked around and he saw some things that he didn't really understand, like the art hanging up on the wall, the candles that seemed to rest on every empty space, the delicate paintings on the walls. But as he looked around he saw things that he did understand. He saw the textbooks, the bookshelves that occupied all the walls, and when Y/N told him that he was free to walk around, to look around, he saw all of his books placed on the bookshelves littering the apartment. He walked around and noticed all the tattered old copies that he had bought at second-hand bookstores, he saw the first edition books everyone always seemed to give, he looked around and he remembered all the books. He also saw new books, ones that he couldn't imagine reading without some persuasion. He saw old romance, new romance, he saw young adults and dystopian, he saw cookbooks, self-help books, and he laughed a little at the thought of reading any of them. 

Those were so obviously Y/N’s. 

“We have a lot of books.” he heard her say behind him, and he turned to see her standing watching him, observing him looking around. He wondered why he hadn't noticed her before. 

He smiled at her, hoping that she wasn't bothered by him snooping around. 

“Did I bring some of my books here?” he asked, turning back to look at all the books he remembered. 

“Yes. Not all of them, I needed a little bit of room. But most of them are yours.” she smiled, her face still tense, still frozen solid. 

She turned to go, wanting Spencer to look around without her hovering over him. 

She walked into the kitchen to make them something for lunch, feeling the pain circle her lungs. She thought of the medication she could be taking right now, thought of the relief her body would feel, she thought about the pain, the writhing pain that lived inside her. 

The pain on her lungs was nothing. 

The pain on her lungs, on her ribs, in her chest, felt like pain medication. 

It felt like nothing compared to- 

She paused. She let her thoughts drift off, let her body become aware again, let herself turn to stone, let everything drain out of her. 

This pain was nothing. 

She was strong enough to deal with a little pain. 

She continued to make lunch, continued to not think of anything, to only think of essential things, such as where she would sleep. How she would show Spencer their bedroom, show him where he kept all stuff. 

She thought about showing him which shampoos were his, why he enjoyed them so much. He thought about showing him the clothes she’d been buying him for years, the clothes he used to tell her he felt at home in. She thought about showing him the photo album they had made together, Spencer mostly watching, as a present for their third anniversary. She thought about showing him how to lock the door, how to make sure their security system wouldn't start blaring when they left the house. 

She had so much to teach him. 

There were so many lost memories. 

And finally, when she was about to let it go, about to forget about all the things she needed to do, Spencer walked in. 

The pain she felt just looking at him- 

Breathe in. 

“Hey. See everything?” she asked, a perfect, practiced smile on her face. 

Spencer smiled back, politely. “Yeah. Did you decorate?” 

She laughed, the feeling burning her lungs. “You helped me choose the colors,” she said reassuringly as if she was worried he was going to be upset as if she knew how this stranger would react as if she knew him-

Spencer nodded, looking solemnly at the floor. 

“So I was thinking-” Y/N started, only to be interrupted by Spencer. 

‘When can I-” he started, looking up at her sheepishly. “Sorry,” he muttered smiling at her. She nodded, her face cold as ice, nodding for him to continue. “I was wondering when I could get my stuff?” he continued, softer this time. 

She paused, her hands frozen, her face still poised, but her heart racing at his words. 

“Get your stuff?” she asked softly, trying not to let her voice shake. 

“Yeah,” he responded easily. “I asked JJ and she said I could stay at her house. At least until I can get a new apartment-” 

Y/N had stopped listening. 

She wasn't listening. 

Spencer wasn't staying. 

He wasn't.

He was. 

He was leaving. 

She felt her insides freeze, ice hitting every inch of her body, keeping her stuck, stuck in her head, stuck to the floor, stuck with the pain building, building up inside her. 

She nodded, robotically. 

Spencer said something else, something about her showing him where his clothes were. 

She wasn't listening, she refused to listen, she wasn't listening. 

Her body responded though. 

She led Spencer through their living room, showed him where the bathroom was just in case, she led them into their bedroom, her eyes avoiding his, her heart avoiding beating. 

She watched as he looked around their room, examined the bed, the small desk hiding in the corner, the dresser on the opposite side of the room. She pointed to the closet. Pointed and left the room.

She wasn't listening. 

She sat down on the couch, staring ahead of her, not listening, not feeling, nothing. She sat there, sat there, and listened. She wasn't listening. She felt close to falling asleep. 

She waited for him to come back. 

Leaving. 

Come back. 

Always. 

He walked back into the room, holding a bag, holding one of their bags. He smiled at her as he zipped it up, as he locked all his clothes up, as he got ready to leave. 

“Thank you,” he said, clueless to the feeling burying itself into her chest. “Thank you for driving me here. JJ’s coming to pick me up soon.” 

Her ears perked up at that. Confused when JJ had known to come over when Spencer had gotten a hold of her. 

He must’ve seen the question in her eyes because he answered “Garcia showed me how to use my phone.” 

She nodded. Her lips pursed, her eyes cloudy, her face void of anything, void of emotion, void of color. 

Spencer looked at her and tilted his head, he thought he noticed something different, thought that if he was trying to be a good boyfriend, the boyfriend she’d had a month ago, he would’ve asked, he would’ve done something. 

Spencer didn't know her. 

He stood there, staring at her, her eyes void, not acknowledging his staring, and they both waited, just waited until there was a knock on the door. 

They both looked over. 

Spencer looked back at Y/N. He smiled, his hands awkwardly placed in front of himself. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. 

He started walking to the door, looked back to her, said 

“Thank you. I see you soon.” 

And then he was gone. 

He was gone. 

He was gone. 

Come back. Come back come back come back come back come back. 

Her head was chanting at her, telling her what to do, telling her what she shouldn't do, telling her too many things at once. Her head was chanting at her. Over and over, chanting chanting. 

She looked up at the ceiling. 

Always. 

Always. 

Always wasn't real. 

Always was a lie. 

Always. 

She looked back down, felt the pain fill her fingertips, felt the pain cloud her head, a storm forming above her. She felt it invade her heart, invade her bones, her muscles, felt the pain swimming in her veins, swimming everywhere in her body, she felt the pain the pain the pain. 

Her face was nothing, her face was empty, it was empty 

Her body wasn't. 

She sobbed. 

She sobbed for the pain, for the pain that was everywhere, for the medication she wished she’d taken, for the life that she didn't have, for the life, for her life, for her memory, for everything. She sobbed, and she sobbed. 

She fell to the floor. 

She let herself fall apart. 

She sobbed. 

Always. 

It was just a little pain.

***

They saw each other twice a week after that. 

Spencer went back to work. 

Y/N stayed home. She worked from there.

She let the loneliness cloud her brain. 

She let herself dream of the words that weren't there. 

She never told Spencer. 

***

“Where do you work?” 

“I teach second grade. Earlier this year I decided to take a year off. We were going to do some traveling and I didn't want to be gone for too long. I’m an artist at heart though.” She teased. 

Her face was stone. Her voice was warm. 

Spencer smiled. 

***

“Did you ask me to be your boyfriend?”

“It was more of a mutual thing. I was spending the night at your apartment, right after we had gotten back from one of those old movies you like, and you asked if I was your girlfriend, if I wanted to meet your family. I just agreed, told you I’d already told my Mom you were my boyfriend. You laughed.”

She smiled at him. Sipped her coffee. 

Spencer nodded along. 

***

“What's your family like?” 

“Well, my parents love you. So does my sister. My brother likes to pretend you don't exist. You used to be okay with that. I’m in the middle. But I’m the favorite.” 

She bragged. 

She sat there. She watched him. 

He looked off behind her. 

***

“Did we have a favorite place?” 

“We used to spend a lot of time at the park. We loved the park. You always beat me at chess, cause I told you to stop letting me win. You didn't like that very much. But mostly we just sat and talked at the park. You always liked going there after a hard case.” 

Spencer didn't say a word. 

The park. 

***

“When did you meet the team?” 

“A year after. You didn't want to rush anything. You wanted your secrets. But I loved them before I knew them. You’d praised them so much I don't know how I couldn't have liked them. Penelope and I clicked. She became my best friend. We bonded over always staying home. You loved that we were so close. Sometimes you forced me out of the house to spend time with her.” 

Nothing. 

***

“When did I first tell you I loved you?” 

She paused. 

She didn't want to answer that question. 

She didn't want the reminder, the constant, consistent reminder of how much Spencer used to love her. He used to love her. 

He used to. 

“It was four months into our relationship. You blurted it out while I was sitting on your lap, watching you read. We were close then. You apologized after. I never had a doubt, I said it right back. ‘I love you.’” 

And she said it so he knew. She said it so she could rebuild the memory. 

She said it to help him remember. 

She said it because it was easy. 

She loved him. 

He used to. 

***

It was Wednesday. 

It was a Wednesday, almost a month since they’d gotten home. 

Since she’d been home. 

Since Spencer had moved out. 

It had been almost a month. 

They’d been getting to know each other for almost a month now. 

Spencer was coming over. 

It was the first time Spencer had asked to come over. Since he’d first gotten his stuff, the first day he left the hospital, since then he had moved out completely, had taken most of his stuff, the things he wanted. He’d been inviting Y/N to coffee, they spent at least one day a week together if he was home. 

She was talking to Penelope more. Checking up on him through her instead of directly asking him. She didn't want to be too overwhelming. 

It had been a month of being with him from afar. 

She was doing fine. 

Her wounds had completely healed. She’d gotten a good report from her doctor, and she was doing fine. 

She was doing fine. 

Spencer was coming over. 

He was coming over for the first real-time. And this time he had asked if he could come over, said he wanted to talk to her. 

She let her heart bubble for a moment. Let herself imagine Spencer living in her house again. 

She stopped herself before it got too far. 

She would do nothing to ruin the progress they had made. 

She waited at home, she waited and got herself ready. She prepared herself for talking to him, for not saying too much, for saying just the right amount. She prepared herself to see him again. To be in love with him while he watched. 

She waited for him. 

She turned herself to stone when he knocked on the door. 

She opened it, smiling at him and letting him in. 

He walked in, his body was tense, his eyebrows were furrowed, and his eyes were scrunched in concentration. Y/N tried not to stare at him, to stare at the familiarity in the face. He looked like her Spencer for a moment. 

She kept the smile on her face. 

“Did you need to talk about something?” she asked, she asked and she got him a bottle of water, needing to preoccupy her hands with something, with anything, just to keep the smile on her face. 

She didn't want him to see through the cracks in her foundation. 

She needed to be perfect for him. 

For him. 

You’re perfect to me. 

Always. 

She waited for him to speak. 

“I think… I think I’ve been doing something wrong,” he said after a moment, looking down at the floor, guilty like he had just made a huge confession. 

“Something wrong?” she asked, her face almost moving, almost breaking. 

Not quite. 

Spencer looked up at her. Looked into her eyes. Really looked. He looked for a girl, a girl he might’ve known, a girl that he would remember. He looked, he looked, and he couldn't see anything. She was still just the girl he had first seen, still just a person, someone he didn't know. He looked once more. 

Nothing. 

“I think I was wrong.” 

She looked back at him, looked into her eyes, the eyes that she actually knew. 

They looked so sad. 

“W-wrong?” She stuttered out, her eyes moving in concern, breaking. Spencer was never wrong. 

“Do you know who I am?” Spencer asked. His face was unmoving like he already knew the answer. 

“You’re Spencer. You're my-” she swallowed, climbing over the words. “You’re my friend.” 

Spencer looked at her. He shook his head, ignoring the panic in her eyes. “No. Do you know who I am?” 

“I-”

“Because I don't know who you are.” 

Y/N closed her mouth. She looked in his eyes, scared by the harsh tone, scared by the words. She looked at him and she didn't see her look. He wasn't looking at her like he loved her. He hadn't looked at her like that in mon- 

“I don't know who you are Y/N. I thought I might-” he paused, baffled at his past self. “I thought I might remember you. But I don't. To me, you are just a girl I met three months ago.” 

She stared at him. 

Just a girl just a girl just a girl- 

This pain was a memory that would never go away- 

“I don't think I’ll remember you. I think this was a mistake.” He said. Final. Unmoving. 

She felt stuck to the ground. 

Stuck in place, stuck to the pain clinging to her. 

“M-mistake?” she said, the words forced out of her mouth. Her body was shaking like she was freezing, she couldn't imagine not feeling pain, she couldn't imagine not knowing Spencer, she knew Spencer she knew him she knew him. 

“I think we were only fooling each other by hoping.”  

Hope. 

Hope wasn't a word in her vocabulary. Hope didn't exist in a world where Spencer didn't love her. Hope wasn't a thing, hope wasn't available. Hope. Didn't. Exist. 

Hope. 

What was hope? 

“I think we need to stop. I don't want to hurt you.” Spencer said. His voice wasn't familiar. His face wasn't familiar. 

Did she know him? 

“I don't think we should do this anymore.” 

Anymore. 

Not anymore. 

Always. 

Not always. 

Pain glued her eyes glued her mouth shut. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” 

She watched him, frozen in place as he walked out the door. 

She didn't know what he was thinking. She didn't know that Spencer did care, that Spencer had seen her once, that she came in glimpses. She didn't know that Spencer could see how much he was hurting her, how much spending time with him was destroying him. 

She didn't see that he was trying to give her a clean break. 

One that would hurt less. 

She didn't know any of that. She only watched him pull her heart out of her chest, grab it, take it away from her, she watched as he threw it around. 

She watched as he crumbled it. 

He had said always. 

***

There was a cloud in his head. 

A cloud hanging over him, a cloud proving his world to be dark, to be covered in nothing but the dark clouds that surrounded him. 

There was a cloud hung over his head. 

The sun had disappeared. 

Oh. 

The clouds swirled around him. 

He got dizzy with realization. 

The sun. 

His world titled.

Oh 

***

my masterlist here

yes yes! its not over yet. but i hope you enjoyed. and understood. and i hope i didnt ruin your day with my writing.

final part here

[princeanxious]

I love your dragon au, may I have some headcanons?

Uh sure! You weren’t ship specific so i’ll try and be a lil broad and touch on a few for all of em! (Theyre all interconnected in a way but often spend much of their time together apart from the others bc thats how dragons be, even if these dragons are much more social than the average dragon)

Demus- Dragon Remus x Prince(ess) Janus

- Janus is ftm trans! His parents were never supportive and actively tried to hide that from that kingdom at every turn, so, he may have secretly gotten a certain mage’s help “cursing” him with snake/dragon scales & additional certain masculine attributes so that he’d be sent away and get time to live his life without royal duties breathing down his neck. Even if he’d have to live the rest of his life as a prince locked away in a tower.

-Remus is a Dragon that’s known to be very curious, driven to hoard things that intruige him. He lives in a castle he and his brother Roman overtook years ago, and they guard it and their hoards within it well. However, one day a nearby kingdom reached out to them with an offer: if they guard and protect Prince Janus while the kingdom scrambles to figure out what to do, the dragons will recieve offerings to add to their hoards along with provided meals and the means to provide for Janus. All the kingdom requests is to keep Janus safe and happy.

-and of course, they agree to. And Remus falls head over tail inlove in a matter of days. Janus follows soon after he finds that Remus is completely unbothered and supportive of Janus’s transition.

-Janus and Roman also get along super well, tho not in a romantic sense, especially after Roman learns of Janus’s love for plays and acting skills. Roman also gifts a few intricate outfits to Janus from his Hoard of beauty and passion bc they fit the short prince quite well, and because Janus wasn’t given anything to wear from his kingdom aside from tailored princess dresses(which he doesn’t usually mind the skirts portions now w/ his new body but somedays the disphoria would spike back out if he looked in the mirror while wearing one). Roman also helped cut Janus’s hair, and both dragons would growl threateningly at any kingdom official who dared look at Janus’s attire change questioningly. If anyone asked, it was because it made Janus happy and feel safe, and that was their job, was it not?

-Janus loves his new Dragon Boyfriend and his new Dragon brother-in-law(technically?) and this result just solidifies his confidence in the decision he made to get here. Roman and Remus know about the secret behind the curse and what Janus did to get here, they think he’s super fcking clever bc of it. And, Ro and Re swear on their hoards that they’ll never spill the secret if Dee doesn’t want them to, one because the Kingdom would then have a lead on trying to Reverse the Curse, and two, because it would put the life of the mage who was asked to do it in danger, and three, because their dragons and dragons are very very good at protecting what they love.

Logince- Dragon Roman x Knight Logan

-Logan is a prince to a neighboring kingdom, and he was betrothed to Janus in an arranged marraige sort of settup. Niether of them loved the other like that, but they were best friends and Logan respected(and defended) Janus being trans. So when he finds out something happened to Janus, he’s alarmed and upset that he wasn’t informed sooner. Then he finds out Janus is being guarded by dragons, of all things! And well, he needs to make sure Janus us safe, and find out whats wrong, what happened? And no one stops him from traveling out to the castle that houses the dragons to find out. The least he can do is make sure Janus is okay and respected by the dragons, but like hell is he going to wait for Janus’s scrabling kingdom to catch up.

The first thing he’s greeted by is a tall red scaled dragon, and he’s immediately on guard. The dragon grins and drops into a defense position. They don’t ask the other questions, which Janus will give both of them shit for later, but both parties are fueled by challenge and protective goals. And they launch into battle without a word.

-Roman is immediately intruiged and excited to find how Logan matches him in a fight, actually standing a pretty solid chance despite his weight and height. Logan is a skilled swords man, the best in his kingdom, its a shame his only downfall is that Roman has twice the height on him and more than twice the muscles, figuratively and literally. But even then Logan isn’t deterred and is capable of flipping the dragon onto his back which is p hot roman cant lie, so its a p even scuffle bc Romans highly entertained w/ this mysterious attacker.

-they kinda get caught up in the scuffle for a good while till Remus comes out to investigate and Logan disengages and dashes into the forest bc he’s smart enough to know he can’t really win the fight w/ one dragon, two is a death sentence.

-roman spends the whole night heated and excited as he rambles about the gorgeous short knight who nearly kicked his ass. Logan spends the whole night rethinking his strategy and trying not to get distracted by the memory of the infuriatingly hot smirk the dragon kept aiming at him.

-they scuffle twice more, filled with witty remarks and snarky quips that progressively get more flirty before they think to speak about /why/ Logan wants into the castle b4 the truth comes out.

-both are a little sheepish when Janus finds out just who Roman’s been waxing poetic about kicking his butt in an even match and spend a good 20 minutes scolding their gay af selves. Then Logan gets updated on the whole situation, including his not so subtle transition and his new dragon bf. Logan gets the dragon’s permission to visit so long as he keeps things a secret, and he scoffs that they’d think he’d even dare to try to ruin his best friends happiness.

-niether of them really knows when their little rivalry picked back up, but Roman and Logan spend their time together bickering and taunting eachother while playing a semi-unbalanced game of cat and mouse. Logan’s not allowed into the castle w/o playing their game first, and he honestly doesn’t mind. Their interactions get way more flirty and theyre just gay disasters that take way to long to admit their developing feelings till it all kinda rushes out the moment Roman pins Logan to a wall and Logan reaponds by locking his legs around the other, daring to keep him there.

-yeah they express their feelings to eachother in many ways that day. And Logan ends up secretly(to his kingdom at least) dating Roman, and Roman gets a prince bf of his own. They still taunt and play their game of cat and mouse tho, now its just accompanied by a ton more kissing.

Moxiety- Dragon Patton x Mage Virgil

-Virgil is the mage that helped Janus transition in secret, they’d been friends for a long while and meeting in secret to plan it. Virgil’s a pretty powerful mage and talented at what he does, and Janus’s trasition was a spell he cast himself, and its irreversable(on purpose, by Janus’s request/demand)

-Virgil travels alot now adays, never staying in one public place too long in fear of Janus’s knights suspecting him and capturing him. He knew the risk and was willing to pay the price to make Janus happy. He knows he must lay low for a while, and hes not very open about being a mage in fear of that being found out.

-well, one day he finds himself in a town not so open to the idea of magic in general. Its one slip up hes not sure he regrets to heal an injured child, but he finds him self tied to a wooden stake that same day, surrounded by a village chanting about how all magic is evil.

-and then a dragon swoops over and snags him from the fire as it ignites, just barely sinking his clothing before hes up in the sky. He promply blacks out from shock.

-and when he wakes up, he finds himself tucked carefully into a hammock with a soft blanket. The room he’s in is filled with an interesting assortment of things, haphazardly placed enough to register as a hoard than any other kind of room in this tower. That and the dragon that rescued him is resting nearby, his blue scaled wing outstretched and draped over Virgil protectively is kind of a dead giveaway too.

-Virgil would learn later that Patton had been following him, lead by how his hoarding instincts weirdly worked. He’d be thankful then, that they saved his life, despite the fact that he now technically counted to Patton’s instincts as part of his hoard. Patton was adamant that he’d been trying to rid himself of the attachment before, but once Virgil was in danger his insticts had been set aside to save the poor human. He couldn’t help that touching Virgil just solidified his instincts’s claim.

-Patton lets Virgil know he’s welcomed to leave any time he wants to, that they were safely away from the dangerous village now. Virgil finds he doesn’t want to leave just yet, and they settle on becoming friends.

-Patton is friends with Roman and Remus, and often visits them when he’s feeling too lonely. He’s plenty friendly with Janus and Logan at this point, being a much softer natured dragon than the twin dragons.

-the group finds it very, very coincidental and very ironic the first time Patton brings Virgil with him to hang out.

-their love story is a bit slower, but lets just say one day months down the line, Virgil pulls Patton into a really shy kiss and Patton all but startles Virgil with the happy purr that bursts from the back of his throat. Its not to much longer after that that theyre relationship is fully established.

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

[sagscrib]

HI TAKOKO THATS SO CUTE CAN I USE IT (also please take this as also a question inviting you to rant about takemichi!!! i would love to hear your hot takes)

FLAPS!! absolutely u can use takoko. one day i’ll help fill up the tag sdjkh

I have. so many thoughts abt takemichi.

i think hes a poet! when he writes hes very cynical and HEAVY on the metaphors. his style isnt exactly Smooth and Flowy either there’s a lot of spots where it just gets rough. if it were a texture itd be like. slush. when he’s in captivity he does a lot of reading and literature analysis. this post sponsored by my special interest in poetry

iirc in the udg artbook theres a note on his design page that says he was loyal to “the brothers” (as opposed to just mondo) which means 1) he knew daiya and was His bodyguard too and they were just as close (which. considering takemichi was the most important person to mondo outside of hopes peak. is Pretty Close) and 2) he and mondo have known each other for YEARS. timelinewise if im doing my math correctly the latest daiya could have died would be Mondo’s first year of high school (though im willing to bet it was earlier just kinda based on how he talks about him and his death ingame, which, in his memory, would have been just a few months beforehand). considering takemichi is Also stated to be 1 year younger than mondo then the earliest they could have met was during mondos last year of middle school. i choose to believe they met in his second year tho. just 4 fun

also irt to all that i DO believe in the daiya takemichi father son dynamic so much. i usually write takemichi as being a foster kid with not the best guardians? so he stays with the oowadas more nights than not. and daiya cares about him so much. michi and daiya r both trans and my evidence is i want them to be and daiya calls takemichi little man All the Time

because takemichi is tiny and not intimidating i imagine that he met the oowadas and THEN joined the gang later, not the other way around. he met mondo in middle school and they got in a fight and when daiya came to pick mondo up and saw this kid with hair he clearly cut himself saying that his guardians werent gonna show up and he’d like to start walking before it got dark he was like. uh oh. sonboy. new sonboy.

later when daiya’s old bodyguard had to move away michi was like. ill bodyguard. i can fight. and daiya was Not for it. so takemichi decided to start working out to prove he could do it and, along with getting his hands on every book and video on proper technique he could, he joined a forum. and i KNOW theres no basis in canon for this but kenshiro and yuta r also on the forum to talk abt mma and hokuto shinken/ track and field respectively and they become internet friends. i just think itd be neat

obviously im big on takemichi and takaaki teaming up in towa (i usually call this dynamic notdad bc like. takaaki would obviously be so hesitant to be a father again for so long but theyre absolutely family). in some tls takaaki finds out the results of the killing game while in towa and hides it from takemichi. sometimes they find out together. sometimes they find out after the future foundation rescues them. depends

SPEAKING OF FUTURE FOUNDATION. all the captives (minus. yuta and komaru.) work there after the events of udg. ive never seen the dr3 anime and i dont plan on it im right

takaaki and takemichi share an apartment (because. again. family) until takaaki marries hiroko. takaaki ends up legally adopting takemichi so hiro and him ARE brothers (plus one kid that takaaki and hiroko have together. three of them)

all the captives (plus aoi and hiro) are pretty close postgame. ayaka will take any opportunity to be a big sister to takemichi (this usually means lighthearted bullying and stealing his poetry notebooks) and takemichi and fujiko are absolutely siblings. (sidenote i think itd be nice if fujiko got into pottery making. making manga was something she used to do with her little brother and it gets hard to do for a while but shes still creative at heart! so she makes bowls and little sculptures and stuff. she tries to throw out the ones that turn out wrong but takemichi always snags them so theres a shelf in his kitchen full of lumpy and discolored pottery)

bonus round -takemichi is 5′2″ -his birthday is february 29 -he has bpd -his favorite color is lavender -his singing voice sounds a lot like keaton henson -he calls fujiko “jiko” -the son he adopts is named genki and he calls him monkeybread or little guy and genki calls him daddo (it’s like kiddo but dad) -hes always and forever ashamed in his taste in music (its mostly bad indie folk punk stuff) -he has accidentally called daiya dad on several occasions but daiya just laughed and went with it -he accidentally called takaaki dad once and takaaki got quiet and upset so takemichi didnt do it again until a good few years after he was officially adopted -he accidentally called takaaki daiya once and Broke Down -he calls hiroko mom on purpose all the time -more than once daiya and mondo auctioned off a date with him to his fanclub and didnt tell him until the day of

these arent all my thoughts but ive been typing for. probably an hour. and this is long as hell. thank you so much for letting me infodump dkjsjhksd

[yandere-daydreams]

I feel like if anyone had Thoughts about this it’d be you but : zodiac signs as yandere ?

I have so many thoughts on this!!! I’m assuming anon wants to know about sun signs only, so that’s what I did! Keep in mind that literally every single one of these will be biased towards how I view the signs, so if you disgree then.... sorry!! (This post also might be a little long because there are. Twelve signs.)

-

Aries - Okokokok...... I would like to think..... an Aries would be a possessive, but in a very aggressive way?? Like if they’re jealous of one of your friends they will not hold back. If you wont get rid of them in your life, they’ll do it for you with little hesitation. I feel theyd be romantic and flirty, and refusing their advances just is Not an option. They’ll often lose their temper if you misbehave too much, and it wont take much to get them to that point. They’re very loud and headstrong, and will absolutely manipulate you into doing whatever they want. They aren’t very affectionate, but if you ask nicely enough they’ll begrudgingly cuddle with you (and secretly enjoy it but shhh) Their punishments: severe. Their amount of remorse: zero.

Taurus - Definitely a more submissive yandere!! Probably a delusional and when you disagree with them or tell them theyre wrong, that you don’t love them, they will probably cry so much and not speak to you for days at a time as opposed to physically punishing you. Will not get angry easily and will repress any anger they feel until one day they snap and go Crazy and break your legs or something. They will not take kindly to your nasty remarks or constant attempts to free yourself from their captivity, but they will generally react very passively because they love you and would never want to hurt you (unless they really had to, of course)!! 10/10 will make you nap with them. Constantly.

Gemini - They’re probably a little delusional, but also really obsessive and clingy!! They will force you to cuddle with them for HOURS AND HOURS and just... play with your hair... and babble about their day and the weather and whatever to keep you in their arms. It’s honestly pretty nice and relaxing, and perfect if you’re okay with lounging around all day. They’ll probably really half-ass everything too. Like yeah you’ll be in handcuffs, but if you really tried you’d probably be able to slip out of them because they didn’t bother getting ones that actually fit. Also, everytime you lash out at them they will completely brush it off and deflect everything. They will just pull you into their lap and coddle you until you’ve calmed down and stopped saying such ridiculous things to them. Will also make really dumb jokes in conversations they have with you, and you will have to laugh no matter how awful they are. I mean, unless you want to be punished (read: cuddled) more.

Cancer - A soft yandere, baby!! They will pamper the HELL out of you. They will deck your room out with the nicest furniture, get you the /softest/ handcuffs on the market, bake you your favorite desserts, the whole nine yards!! They will comfort you when you cry about your situation, but will refuse to acknowledge that they are the reason your crying. Very delusional and very manipulative, will guilt trip you into being nice to them. Very powerful puppy dog eyes. 10/10 will kiss you on the forehead and apologize for every bad thing they’ve ever had to do to you.

Leo - They were probably the popular kid in school and you probably had a massive crush on them. When u finally managed to get their attention they never stopped paying attention to you. The next thing you knew, you were locked in their attic. They are very ambitious, and once they had their eyes set on you, no one was going to get in their way. Very possessive, will cut off all of your friends for you and be very jealous!! When the roles are reversed, though, and you get jealous of their friends, it’s fine baby!! There’s nothing to be jealous of!! ^3^ Will probably spoil you a little bit, but only if you havent pissed them off recently. If you’re mean to them they will take it so personally and be so dramatic about it!!

“Can you say something to me it’s been three days.”

“I thought my voice was annoying you >:T”

“Oh my god-“

Virgo - Protective protective protective!! Will lock you in a room with absolutely no furniture with sharp corners or anything you could hurt yourself on. An actual perfectionist, will put makeup on you, do your hair so there isn’t a single strand out of place, and dress you in color coordinated outfits ONLY. Will literally take the best care of you, but it’s overbearing how much they worry about your safety all. The. Time. You will more than likely never leave the house without them, and never without at least SPF 50 sunscreen on. Will attempt to be your personal therapist, but has never properly processed and emotion before, so... they aren’t very effective. If you attempt to escape, they will punish you severely.

“Ayo I sure wish I wasn’t HERE right now ahaha sure wish I was HOME and not with YOU.”

“Oh? Ahahaha okay!” *literally breaks your fucking toes* “See! You have to stay with me!! You could get hurt much worse than this in the outside world, you have to be more careful!! :)”

Libra - Probably protective and obsessive to a certain extent. Will probably be really sympathetic?? But like in a “I cant let you go I’m sorry the world is bad and scary and I don’t want you getting hurt.” kinda way. They would want to give you a little bit of freedom, though, so they’ll let you go out with your friends occasionally, but they’ll be VERY cautious and, well, protective of you. They are very understanding and give you lenient punishments when you push them over the edge and theyre ‘forced’ to punish you, but will not comfort you afterwards to compensate for the lack of severity of their punishments. Balance, baby!

Scorpio - An obsessive for sure. Literally IN LOVE WITH YOU. Will instagram stalk you, your family, your friends, your neighbor’s dogs, ANYONE that has ever been in contact with you. They already know everything about you when they finally execute their plan to kidnap you. They’re very attractive and strong willed and will put you in your place with no hesitation, but afterwards will attempt to kiss it better because they feel sorta bad. They just want you to love them!! They crave so much attention constantly, and will want to cuddle with you and be close to you at all times. You will have to be an excellent liar, because they will be able to call you on your bullshit so easily!! They will absolutely not tolerate any lying, so it’s better to justbe honest with them, even if you think it will make them mad. 10/10 will probably stare at you for hours on end without saying a single word and then watch you sleep. All lovingly, of course.

Sagittarius - P o s s e s s i v e. Can and will beat the shit out of anyone that touches you and will beat the shit out of you if you mention someone other than them to teach you a lesson. They have very bad commitment issues because they’re afraid of the people they love leaving them, and they overcompensate for it a lot. Probably actually a little bit out of their mind beyond the whole “I have my love interest locked in my basement” thing. Will give you the bare minimum amount of the things you need to survive and will deprive you of food and water for days at a time if you say something a little too nasty to them. Is really good at saying the right things to talk you down when you’re upset after a punishment or something. Very good at making you laugh as much as you hate to admit it!! 10/10 will probably turn to sensory deprivation if all else fails just because they’re sadistic like that.

Capricorn - Very responsible, planned a lot for your arrival. Very smart, rational, and protective, they have a plan for literally any situation thrown their way. They’re very fragile but they project it all onto you, and as a result they take very good care of you. They’re kinda intimidating but actually very sweet, and they love you more than they love themself. Probably rich because they’re really good at saving money, and they’ll spoil you with every cent they have. Bossy, and if you choose to ignore what they tell you to do they will make your life miserable for the next few days. Again, they’re very serious looking and intimidating, but they have a playful and carefree side that only really comes out around you!! They love you a whole lot, and make that very clear through the gifts they give you constantly.

Aquarius - Hear me out. Remember that tsundere yandere post Daydreams made? That’s Aquarius. They are very mean and nasty!!! A true goblin, honestly. They’re totally head over heels in love with you, but they’ll make you work to earn that love, even though you didn’t ask for it. You want attention?

“Haha nerd, why would I come cuddle you?? That’s like... weird... You’re gross!!”

Do they hate you, or do they want to marry you and ride off into the sunset with you? You’ll never know, because they wont ever let you get close enough to them to figure out what goes on inside that crazy head of theirs. Overall will probably treat you well, if you’re okay with the constant bullying and berating that you’ll get from them daily, that is.

Pisces - Soft like Cancer, but obsessive like Scorpio!! Has very strong feelings for you, but doesn’t know how to manage them in a healthy way. They want you all to themself, and the only way they know how to keep you in their life is by taking you. Very manipulative and delusional.

“Haha fancy seeing you here babe!”

“I am locked in your basement and I have been for the past seven months-“

“Crazy how we just keep running into eachother! Are you, like, obsessed with me or something?”

Like Virgo, they’ll try to be your personal therapist, but Pisces is actually good at it. You can never hide how you’re feeling from them, because if they pick up even the slightest difference in your tone of voice they will dig through their brain for any possible event that could have taken place to make your mood shift even the slightest bit. Crazy, but in a very loving and wholesome way. 10/10 would take a bullet for you!!

[pseudophan]

can you tell us the summary of your love of your lives case? I don’t wanna watch the video I don’t have the patience to watch it

it's such a complicated case but in short(ish):

1993 in west memphis arkansas, three eight year old boys go missing and are later found murdered in the woods. the community is freaking the fuck out and because it's 1993 small town arkansas and satanic panic is sweeping the nation people go ITS SATANISM IT WAS A SATANIC RITUAL and the police keep interviewing this 18 year old named damien echols because he was into witchcraft and listened to metallica and wore all black (genuine points brought up in court like this is what the entire case is built on). im skipping some details here cause its all oh so convoluted but basically they eventually interrogate a 17 year old named jessie miskelley jr who confesses to the crime and implicates damien and damien's best friend jason baldwin (16, looks about 11). so then ofc they all get arrested

issue is: jessie is a minor with a reported iq of 72 and they interrogated him non stop for 12 hours with no parent or attorney present (his dad agreed to let them speak to him but they didnt tell him it was an interrogation) and less than an hour of it was recorded. jessie claims the cops coerced him into his confession and even on the 40 something minutes of interrogation we do have available to listen to you can hear the cops just continuously leading him on like theyll ask when this happened and he says a time and they go no the kids were in school then it was later wasnt it and he's like yeah it was [later time] and theyre like no it was around 8 wasnt it? and hes like yeah yeah it was then and it goes on like that foreverrrrr

ok im getting into too much detail here im sorry theres so much more anyway anyway TRIALS HAPPEN and its all a whole bunch of bullshit and hbo recorded it all for hit documentary paradise lost (watch it) and hhhooooooly shit!

theres way too much to talk about w the trial but besides everyone being fucking cracked and damien being a smartass and the judge looking bored out of his goddamn mind throughout the whole thing (FUCK that judge) one notable part that didnt come out until later is that during jury selection this one guy was hell bent on getting on the jury cause he wanted them convicted and not only was he let on the jury he became the jury foreman which goes against like every law cause juries are supposed to go into court with no preconceived notions of what happened. also jessie had a separate trial cause he wouldnt testify against jason and damien which means his "confession" wasnt admissible in their trial and the jury werent allowed to consider it, but the jury actively discussed the confession while making their decision (jury members have said they did + it was written on their goddamn whiteboard) which. h

ANYWAYYY so jessie and jason get life in prison without the possibility of parole and damien gets sentenced to death. damien is 19 at this point with a newborn baby. jason isnt even 18.

so then they go away and the documentary paradise lost comes out and everyone collectively loses their goddamn fucking minds cause how the fuck did this happen they didnt even have a single piece of actual evidence except a piece of hair that MAY match damien but also its the early 90s and they dont actually have a fucking clue

years go by, everythings happening so much, their appeals get shot down one by one cause its the same fucking judge and ofc hes not gonna admit any fault. the public suspect john mark byers (rest in peace he died like a month ago in a traffic accident, btw he also didnt do it but thats also a lot to go into. interesting guy, definitely inbred, violent tendencies but not a murderer) one of the kids' stepdads (technically adoptive dad cause he legally adopted the kid after he married his mum but hes generally referred to as his stepdad) of having done it cause hes fucking massive and is quite possibly the most colourful character ive seen in my life like that guy had no idea what was going on ever and he was hell bent on the teens having done it and wanted to kill them all UNTIL! until. 2007, they test the dna in the case and SHOCKINGLY turns out none of the west memphis 3's dna is anywhere to be found, the shit they had that could be damien's turns out to not even remotely match him in the slightest and suddenly theyre there like. well. now theres nothing. and yet theyre still in prison cause everyone who got them convicted is like NO THEY DID IT :) but the public outrage is so much by this point and finally they get to take it to the supreme court who take one look at it and are literally like ??? what the fuck happened here give them a new trial what the literal hell (theres a video of it their faces are literally so funny they all look like they absolutely cannot believe this required their help) so in 2011 they finally have the opportunity to retrial with a new judge but SUDDENLY the state of arkansas go um actually we are gonna offer you an alford plea which basically means they legally plead guilty to the charges while still saying they didnt do it and then they get let out but the state wont have to admit fault or reopen the case cause in their eyes these three are still guilty but theyre gonna let them out anyway cause that makes a whole lot of sense i guess. lol basically the state realised there was a real chance they could get exonerated in which case they were gonna get sued to hell and back and went FUCK give them a deal

now jason didnt want to take the deal he wanted to wait for the new trial and risk getting found guilty again cause he said this isnt justice for the kids cause the real killer or killers are still free and its not justice for us cause we have to plead guilty to save the asses of the system that failed us all BUT all three of them have to agree for it to be valid and damien's execution date, which he's already narrowly avoided on several occasions like its already been postponed multiple times, is once again coming up and if the new trial somehow goes wrong and hes sent back to death row he's gonna be killed so jason decided fuck all of that and agreed to the plea exclusively to save damien which ok ride or die king

i havent gone into who really did it cause once again there is SO much but the majority of people think it was terry hobbs (the stepdad of another one of the victims) including the kid's mother whos now his ex wife who he abused to no end. theres a Lot to this theory and while theres no concrete evidence cause they did a shittyass job with everything theres already more dna linking him to the scene than the teens. god i really wanna go into everything that points to terry being at least somehow involved but this has already gotten so out of hand

anyway follow damienechols on instagram all he does is post about witchcraft and cats. also watch the hbo paradise lost trilogy and west of memphis. and if u want even more details listen to the three true crime garage episodes on the case. also theres books. theres so much. i have so much more to say. someone stop me

[abimee]

So since you explained Chara's surface life can you tell about life Underground? Like how they adjusted and stuff.

heLL yeah, I think they really liked the underground! minor talk of suicide and depression as a warning, as it comes with the territory

I always interpreted that Chara climbed the mountain to die, but upon surviving and breaking their arm they got really scared ( because theyre, y’know, a child), and when asriel found them and brought them to his parents they basically scooped that child up and immediately tended to their injuries.

For a little bit they just kinda sat in bed and didn’t speak to any of the Dreemurrs, and when Toriel or Asgore would come into the room they’d turn away from them and not answer any questions. Toriel kept leaving food in the room for them to eat as they weren’t comfortable around them yet ( and its why Toriel leaves the food on the ground for Frisk, a habit formed). For a good week Chara did not speak to them, but they still tried to care for the child and do the best they could.

Asriel eventually got them to open up because he kept putting toys on the bed ( he had given up his bed for Chara and was sleeping with his parents to give them privacy), and he kept trying to read them books and draw them stuff. He kept putting stuffed animals on their head and scribbling them in crayon and leaving poorly written notes to them through the door, which made them warm up to him --- it wasn’t something they ever experience before, being sought out by another person, someone wanting to make friends.

Chara’s first big gesture was bringing their dish out into the kitchen once they were done eating, and everybody was very surprised to see them. Soon Asriel tried eating with them in their room, and though they still didn’t talk they allowed the presence in the room.

It took about three weeks, before Chara would speak. The Dreemurrs hadn’t told anybody about Chara yet, because they still didn’t know what they were going to do. They were partially afraid that humans were going to be coming looking for them, and was partially preparing for any sort of attack.

The first thing Chara ever said to them was their name. They actually chose Chara from one of the books that was in Asriel’s room, an astrology book that talked about a star named Chara, which in (latin? greek?) meant “Joy”.

Once Chara got a bit braver, they were made a special spot in the family; they built a bed for them in Asriel’s room, changed their clothes ( Chara ends up just borrowing one of Toriel’s shirts, which is why their shirt covers their pants and legs). Asriel began to show them around HOME and the RUINS, and when they felt like they could, they were introduced to the underground.

Within a month, they started to feel safe within the underground, and got back a bit of their energy and life; they missed a few things, like feeling the sunlight on their face or seeing the flowers in their hometown. They tried to explain what the golden flowers were like, but Asriel only thought about buttercups, which were never the same. The golden flowers made nice tea.

They liked a lot about the underground, however; how small it was, and how people treated them, and how they were able to go wherever they wanted because it was hard to get lost and there was always someone looking out for the prince and their new friend. They liked feeling snow for the first time and building their first snowman, and they liked chasing froggits in Waterfall and wading knee-deep in waters and then getting scolded for coming home wet. They liked going crystal gazing and beating Asriel with cattails, and they liked the view from the Capital.

They liked that Asriel would read books to them and set up all their stuffed animals as he did ‘’magic tricks’’ for them. They were a bit confused by the advanced technology of the Underground, as they had both the time and magical capabilities to forward their machines faster than humans, so things like camcorders and basic computers were already made. Chara saw their first video when Asriel showed them a home video they made about their oc, GOD OF HYPERDEATH. Chara had their first ever piece of chocolate when a crate was found floating in the landfill, and they salvaged them by dumping them in the snow before they were fully melted in the wrappers. Asriel taught them how to use a stove and laughed when Chara asked what an elevator was.

They weren’t used to affection, and were ashamed and embarrassed by it. They would kick and flinch when anybody tried to hug them, and didn’t know how to respond to ‘’i love you’’s or goodnight kisses for a very long time. They laughed in uncomfortable situations and smiled when they were scared, but Asriel learned to understand these things before Toriel or Asgore, whom he would scold when they’d try to hug Chara unprompted. 

Eventually, Chara learned to show affection in their own way; by drawing things for them, by picking Asriel up or making funny faces. Chara also had a knack for scaring people, and would try to scare their family often by jumping from corners and hiding in dark rooms, because they thought it was funny.

Their diet grew to enjoy underground-based foods, and they grew used to sharing things with Asriel, but still had a fear of things being taken away. Their personality shifted underground from what it was above ground, to somebody a bit more reserved and sometimes distant, but Asriel really liked that about them, because they listened to him a lot and would make him laugh without even saying anything, just by their actions alone they were who they were to them. Nobody grew as close to Chara as a the Dreemurrs did, and they tried to speak Chara’s silent language back to them; friendship necklaces, baking their favorite foods, framing their photos and drawings. By a year, Chara had become a Dreemurr, and though they still struggled, and were sometimes aggressive, and had nightmares every night and would sometimes not stop crying no matter what anybody did, they were very happy underground.

Their anger was just as a part of them as everything else, too. Though they were quiet, they were easily agitated too, due to trauma. Not directed at anybody, but just an aggression bottled up inside them, that they’d take out on themself and on objects, would scribble obscene things to attempt to hurt and enrage themself, would destroy their own things to make themself upset. Their aggression was accepted just like every other part of themself, though they tried to get better coping mechanisms for Chara, like drawing happy things when they were upset or taking them on walks when they were mad so they could kick snow. They never hurt Asriel, or anybody in the underground, because their rage wasn’t because of them. Maybe sometimes they’d act rude to them when they were angry, but Chara never lifted a fist at any of them.

Altogether, they were rather happy, and content in the underground. And even when they weren’t, they still preferred being down there than being up here, ha ha

[fictionalboysarejustbetter]

Friendships from Afar

Distance creates a barrier of trust. There are no worries. There is always a safety net to fall back on that protects from hurt or pain. Beginning in second grade, my personal goal had always been to find a singular, perfect friend who lives far away. We could talk openly with each other, and I would have the ability to be myself. The plan is that years later, I would meet this person in the weirdest of circumstances, and we would be best friends forever. It’s even better if this friend is a guy, so then we can both fall in love and get married to live happily ever after.

In second grade, the entire class received school pen pals, and while my fourth-grade pen pal was not ideal, I knew I loved this “secret” letter writing system where I am just Rebecca, nothing more or less. Moving into fifth grade, Mrs. Smith found me a pen pal from China. Through our teachers, we would send each other letters back and forth until the school year was over. From this moment onward, I was hooked; pen pals didn’t care what I looked like or how shy I was or how involved my mother was with the school, I could just be me, and they only knew the information I told them. Without asking for help, I scavenged through the internet, trying to collect pen pals as if they were Webkinz. I was convinced this perfect friend could only be found on pen pal websites that look like they were made by my fellow fifth graders.

Starting in sixth grade, I would spend night after night stalking the profiles of random teenagers on Students of the World, a supposedly “safe” pen pal website for kids. Gender? Who cares. Age? About 10-16. Likes? Reading, of course. Language? English please. I would then press search and sift through hundreds of profiles, finding the perfect candidates to be my best friend. This process was extremely predictable, including:

The teenage boys “looking” for a relationship:

Nathaniel, Age 14, UK

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Cinema, Television

Sports

Reading

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hi! Are you looking for a cool guy to write to? Send me a nice message otherwise you’ll miss something priceless. 

I can speak:

English, French

The liars that claimed they like everything and speak every language:

Janhvi, Age 16, USA

HOBBIES:

Photo

Trips

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Sports

Sciences

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

Cooking

Collections

Painting, Drawing, Art

Hello !!👩I'm Janhvi .I like to travel.I have traveled in to many countries .Such as india , sri lanka, china, france and more.I like make new friends.message me soon guys.👭👫OUR LIFE IS CHANGE , BUT FRIENDSHIP NEVER BE CHANGE.

I can speak:

English French German Italian Spanish Arabic Chinese Japanese Korean

The students making a profile for class:

Chaya, Age 13, USA

HOBBIES:

Clothes

Cinema, Television

Music

Reading

Animals, Nature

I am looking for a penpal for our school project. I would like to find some in Atlanta, Georgia.

I can speak:

English

I would scroll through these profiles so constantly that I rarely found new profiles. I was judging every profile based off of the person’s name, biography, age, likes, languages, everything. Most people without a profile picture wouldn’t receive an email from me. I tried to avoid messaging anyone from the United States unless they sounded like a major fangirl or fanboy over the books I liked. I automatically favored anyone from Europe, especially if they had an interesting name. But regardless if anyone from anywhere sent me a message first, I would respond back at least once.

Shortly after the search began, I received a message from a girl named Julia from Australia. She and I were the same age, we both needed a friend, and we both liked reading, animals, music, and clothes. Quickly, my life began to revolve around the fourteen hours that always stood between Australia and the United States. Throughout sixth and seventh grade, we would be constantly messaging on the messaging app “kik,” confiding everything deep and useless to each other like best friends do:

Becca says:

Hey, how are you?

Julia says:

Everyones well... Mum and dad start the long drive to melbourne this weekend so everythings kinda topsy turvy :p

How is your family and pets? Im sorry for my rudeness that i didnt ask earlier

Nearlytime for school?

Becca says:

Lol that is fine! I get to school around 8, so normally ill drop off right before, lol i try to remember to tell you but i tend to forget. Theyre good though. Willie and Apricot are happy my grandma left :-P mom and dad are helping me with my ancestry project and exploding of happiness because I got a position in that volleyball club and my sister has been working and spending money :-P her favorite thing to do

Julia says:

Ahh the christmas spirit... Lol is there anyone in the house who loves your grandmother?

Becca says:

Lol we love her because shes family, but no one loves her when shes here if you know what i mean.

What’s up?

For two years, the conversations would continue for hours, as we both wait anxiously for the “ding” on our tablets, indicating a new message. Julia’s father was a firefighter who fought the nasty bushfires that haunted their country. I interviewed him as my hero for my final paper and presentation in my eighth grade English class. I interviewed him through email after our initial plans to Skype were sidetracked by the active wildfires, and I so proudly presented the information about him that you would have thought he was my father.

One day, Julia told me about her divorced parents. Then, she told me about the twins her mom just gave birth to. Then, she explained that she actually has a twin brother and no younger siblings at all. Then, she became an aunt to twin nephews. Then, her house burned down, and she had to move across the country. Then, her parents just moved across town. The stories continued and continued only within months of each other, not adding up in any way, shape, or form. With hope still in my heart, I sent her all three books of The Hunger Games trilogy since she really wanted to read them, but two months later, the books came back in the mail as undeliverable. The address did not exist.

Unable to admit defeat or accept the idea that my best friend might not be real despite all of the evidence, I started to panic. What if she is catfishing me? I’ve seen that show before, and I even gave “her” my address. Whoever this person is could easily come to my house and kidnap me...maybe I should tell my mom and warn the police. But maybe, she just has a really hard life, and she compulsively lies to make herself feel better? Maybe, she just really wants attention, and that’s why none of her stories are adding up. Besides it could still be her, she may just be scared. She could have just lied and is younger than she said and is trying to sound cool to impress me.

With these panicked thoughts raging through my body like wildfire, I blocked her from kik and began to ignore her emails. I forced myself to just disappear, so then I would have nothing to worry about. I cannot trust that Julia is really Julia, so I will just watch “her” occasional emails come in, analyzing from afar who “she” may be. I’ll search for her on Google and Facebook and Instagram and Students of the World and anywhere else I can look. The emails would keep coming for years and years, but they never held much content to them, and I’m still left to question who “Julia” is.

My Julia investigation was stalled for now, and the void of not having a constant penpal to talk to quickly came back. Therefore, my search to find the perfect best friend needed to be expedited since Julia was certainly not cut out for the position. I continued to search Students of the World with my new smartphone every chance I had. In between games at volleyball competitions, Hope and I could be found by the nearest outlet on my phone, scouring the website for the perfect answers within someone’s profile. We would send out messages together to the nerdy fangirls and fanboys around our age. Every day during the bus ride home from school, Jenna and I looked through the website on our phones, judging everyone’s biographies and pictures. Jenna created a profile too, and we would have three-way Skype sessions with Sylvia from France until the two of them became too close and stopped inviting me to Skype with them.

Finally in April of ninth grade, I received a promising email from a 16-year-old boy from France:

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

My name is Kristopher and Im from France !

I watched a few days ago Divergent and it made me want to read the books !

I see you like tv shows and video games as I do !

I am not fluent in English but I can talk to you !

If you want I can learn you French ! :)

Typically, I would spend about twenty minutes every day responding to emails from random penpals on my way home from school, but within the first three or so emails to a person, one of us would just stop responding. In regard to Kris, I generally liked video games, but I wasn’t obsessed with them, and I had a weird taste in TV, so we probably couldn’t talk about that much. But Divergent by Veronica Roth was my all-time favorite book. As soon as I read that word in the email, I knew I would be responding until he stopped responding to me. It had always been my goal to fall in love with a fanboy, especially one with the same taste in books and movies as me, so I immediately responded with:

To: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com From: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com

Hi Kristopher!

What part of France are you from? I live near Pittsburgh, PA, USA.

Yes, definitely read the books! They are amazing! I find myself gravitating towards video games and shows more than sports! :P

I don't know much of French as I take Spanish in school, but I'd love to learn some and help you with English as well!

Rebecca

He emailed me back within minutes, and we emailed for most of the evening, talking about books and food and the differences between the United States and France. That night though, my phone battery had died, and it was only for a few hours. After plugging it in, I found five unread messages from him, making sure I was okay.

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Lol it works ! :) Good courage to go back to school ! :)

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Hey sweetie 😆

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

How are you Miss ?

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Do You use words like ain't or gonna ? 😆

To: fictionalboysarejustbetter@gmail.com From: coolfrenchboy@gmail.com

Are you OK ?

As soon as I read these messages, my heart fluttered a little. This was just the beginning of our constant messaging and talking. I happily responded to him, and within days, Kris was my perfect, new best friend. The random space he left between the last word and the punctuation of a sentence would drive me insane, but I didn’t have the heart to explain the process to him. We talked so consistently that it would probably be considered unhealthy, discussing pets, family, being the youngest child, aspirations, atheism, languages, food, books, video games, and everything else under the sun. I was stuck to my phone all day, and every time I picked it up, I waited in anticipation for a notification with his name and the random spaces between his words and the punctuation.

The six-hour time difference between the two of us meant nothing, with him staying up late and me getting up early. Between classes, we would sneak each other messages about how our days were going. My week-long field trip to San Antonio, Texas was spent either messaging him or scouting out an outlet to plug my phone into so that I could talk to him. The more access I had to Kris, the further I distanced myself from my friends and family. When my phone would die or I wouldn’t have reception, I would look around, annoyed by whoever the people around me were. Kris was the perfect friend I always wanted; he was my best friend, and I was his. Neither of us needed anyone else, and hopefully, all of our talking and flirting would lead to love which would lead to marriage.

The summer before tenth grade came, and Kris seemed to be growing distant. Supposedly, he was travelling all summer, and he would rarely have access to wifi. I counted down the days until he would be back home, and after one measly conversation, he disappeared again. I sent message after message, finally receiving a response about his brother pushing him in the pool and his phone being in his pocket at the time, so it was destroyed. The summer seemed to be surrounded by disappointment, but hopefully when we went back to school, our relationship would continue to be as strong as it was before.

Tenth grade began, and Kris was still busy all the time. Apparently if he kept up his hard work, he would be valedictorian. Since I couldn’t spend lunch chatting with him anymore, I bragged that I was basically dating this amazing French guy who is valedictorian at his school. Until October hit, and then I would receive the dreadful message that he has a girlfriend. Ironically, this only made our conversation stronger than it had ever been, and he even picked out my new haircut, sending me endless compliments on it. The next day, he sent another message, explaining that his girlfriend didn’t want us talking anymore so it would probably be best if we just stopped. I was bad at listening to these directions, following this conversation up with many, many new messages in attempts to strike a conversation with him again. These messages earned me a nice block from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat.

My only method of contact would now be email, so night after night instead of stalking Students of the World for new pen pals, I would send Kris emails. I now began to understand that feeling that I caused upon Julia, who may or may not have been Julia. Throughout October and November, I received a few responses that sounded like an automatic email reply, but one email in mid-November stood out, as it was one of the last ones I would receive from him.

To: thisismyname@gmail.com From: thisiscoolfrenchboysnewemail@gmail.com

Hello Becca,

I did act stupid and didn’t answer your messages at all. When I emailed you first, I never thought our friendship would get that strong !

Guess what, there used to be a time I was really in love with you, but I haven’t dared say so … The one biggest reason was the 6000 km that stand between us ! You were the one I loved talking to ! So I talked to you and you never waited to answer and neither did I.

I don’t know, something went wrong, time changed, I’m sorry I haven’t answered you for long, this is all my bad. I wish I could go back to past to fix this.

This message will never ever be able to patch things up, but it (I hope ) will tell you that I never forgot you .

My mother would tell me time and time again that any type of relationship separated by physical distance would never work. I had never believed her, but after receiving this email, I understood. Why had I ever believed that the perfect friendship would be through time differences of at least five hours? These relationships do not automatically create a barrier of trust, often making it even harder to trust. There are always going to be worries about who that person is and what their intentions are. There is no safety net to keep you from being hurt or feeling pain. Once there is a roadblock within your barrier of communication, you cannot simply get it back after running into each other at Walmart or flashing them a fake smile as you pass them in the hallway at school. As soon as one person blocks the other or the number of unread emails increases substantially over months, that person is gone forever.

[breanime]

Heartworm (Part One)

Guess who got her internet baaccccck! This gal! So @songtoyou sent me this request and I IMMEDIATELY started getting ideas. This could be up to or past 5 parts, I don’t even know! It all depends if you guys like it and want more! This is kind of a soft re-imagining of season 2.

Request:  How about instead of Billy going to his stupid psychiatrists place to seek refuge, he goes to the home of a girl who he was in a serious relationship with. Like, this girl is the only person Billy could ever see himself settling down with. However, once he got money, status, and power from Rawlins he pushed her to the side and eventually dropped her from his life. But once she sees the state Billy is in and how sad, scared and alone he is she wants to help him.

Part One is based on Halsey’s Without Me, particularly these lyrics:  

Found you when your heart was broke I filled your cup until it overflowed Took it so far to keep you close (Keep you close) I was afraid to leave you on your own

I said I'd catch you if you fall And if they laugh, then fuck 'em all (All) And then I got you off your knees Put you right back on your feet Just so you can take advantage of me

*gif not mine* (I gotta stop using this gif lol)

You stood frozen in your living room, eyes glued on the TV. The news was saying that Billy, your Billy, was a murderous traitor and a danger to society. You watched as they showed footage of Billy’s apartment up in flames. They said he bombed it himself after killing a handful of Homeland Security agents, they also said that he hired mercenaries for his Anvil staff. The government seized his assets. He shot Curtis in the shoulder. He knew about Frank’s family. He set them up to be killed. Billy. Your Billy.

Except he wasn’t your Billy anymore; he hadn’t been your Billy for three years. You sat down on the couch, legs numb with shock, as you took in what the newscaster was saying about your ex-boyfriend, the only man you’ve ever loved. They flashed a picture of him on the screen. The caption read: “Armed and Dangerous, Do Not Approach”. The newscaster was saying something about Homeland and Frank going after Billy, but it was all starting to sound like white noise to you. Your mind said to get out of town and run until it was all over, but your heart wanted to reminisce, wanted to remind you why you even cared in the first place.

“…and I’m gonna have a Rolls Royce,” Billy said, one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your waist, “I’m gonna drive it to meetings, rich assholes love a power play.”

You smiled up at Billy, you loved listening to his grand plans for the future. “Are you gonna be a pocket square kind of rich asshole or a ‘Maureen, hold my calls’ kind of rich asshole?”

“Mm,” Billy pulled you closer to his naked chest, “I’m gonna be a pocket square kind of asshole,” he answered, “that’s the best way to run a business.”

“Of course,” you agreed, snuggling up against him, “you’re gonna be a big shot. And I’m gonna have to make an appointment with Maureen just to see you.”

Billy tsked and put a finger on your chin, lifting your face so you were eye-to-eye. “That ain’t never gonna happen,” his dark eyes bore into yours, “I’ll always have time for you.”

You smiled and pressed your lips against his. You felt Billy’s arms tighten around you, lifting you up until you were laying on top of him. You kissed him again, slowly parting your lips, inviting his tongue into your waiting mouth. His eyes were heavy-lidded with lust when you pulled back. You rubbed your nose against his. “I love you.”

His smile made your chest heave with adoration. “I love you too, Y/N.” He kissed you again. “I promise I’m gonna make you proud one day, baby. I’m gonna get us outta this shit hole and out you somewhere nice, where you belong.”

You shrugged. Money and status meant a lot to Billy, meant success, but you were happy enough where you were. Yeah, your apartment was kind of small, and yeah, the heat stopped working every few months, but you’d lived in worst places. Besides, you had Billy. He made you so unbelievably happy; you could have lived in a cave—as long as Billy was with you, you’d be fine. “You know I’m already proud of you,” you told him, “You’ve accomplished so much already.”

“Mm,” Billy kissed the top of your head, “I can do more.” He kissed your nose. “I’m gonna get this security shit together.” He kissed your right eyelid. “I’m gonna get us a place uptown.” He kissed your left eyelid. “And I’m gonna make it so you don’t ever have to work again.” You sighed as he kissed your cheek next. “I ain’t gonna let anyone look down on us anymore.” He kissed your other cheek. “I’m gonna make you so happy, baby.” You felt yourself melt when he finally kissed you on the lips. “I’m gonna take care of us…

…I’m gonna take care of you.”

You turned the TV off, cradling the remote to your chest. You felt your breath getting shallower and casually recognized your erratic heartbeat. You didn’t know what to do. You believed the news—you weren’t sure about the details, but you knew Billy well enough to know that he would do anything for power. You had seen the change that money bought him firsthand, and you didn’t like it at all. You thought about calling Curtis, but you didn’t want to bother him. He was probably up to his neck in cops and paperwork and…Homeland Security, apparently. You wondered how it came to this. Frank was alive. Billy was a wanted man. Curtis was wounded. And you…were alone.

You spent the night on the couch, too numb and confused to get up. You dreamt of Billy and woke up shivering. You got up and made yourself a cup of coffee. Your phone was on the counter, and you frowned as you picked it up. You had missed calls from your mom, your best friend, your boss, and your sister. You had no desire to speak to any of them. You also had a call and voicemail message from an unknown number. Hitting the speaker button, you played the message.

“You’re gonna hear some things on the news.” Billy. “They’re true. I…I did all those things they say I have. By the time you get this message, I’m either gonna be on the run or dead.” It sounded like he took a breath before continuing. “I wanted to see you before I go, but…that’s not gonna happen. So just… Just know that I…” A sigh. “…I think about you all the time. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, a lot of bad choices, done a lot of shitty things, but… I only regret one thing: letting you go. I wish… I should have fought for you more. I should have…” There was some shuffling, and you thought Billy might have put the phone down for a moment. “Listen, they’re gonna say a lot of things about me, and people are gonna try to tell you that I’m heartless and evil, but I want you to remember…You loved me once. You’re the only one I could ever be honest with, the only person in this world who knows who I am. Just… Remember that. And… I’m sorry, Y/N. Goodbye.”

You stood in your kitchen and listened to Billy’s message for at least another 30 minutes. By the time you went back to the couch and turned the TV on, Billy was pronounced near-death and was being kept under constant surveillance at the hospital. Frank Castle was said to be ‘in the wind’ and Anvil was being torn down and all the profits split up. The news interviewed a medical professional about the chances of Billy making any kind of recovery. They predicted he would be dead in six months.

You turned the TV off and wept.

It had been nearly a year since everything went down with Billy. The coverage for Billy’s case had pretty much stopped after a month, and people were onto the next scandal now. Curtis had stopped by your place and told you that Frank left town. The visit had been brief, but he told you what Billy had done—confirming what you’d heard on the news—and said that his orders had come from someone named Rawlins. Rawlins, you understood, was dead. Curtis had word from Frank to tell you that he had been given a new identity by the government and was going to hit the road for a while. When you asked why he’d want you to know that, Curtis had just said: “you needed to know it was over”. You should have felt anger, or pity or sadness but… you felt nothing. You had been operating on auto-pilot, swimming in a thick fog of numbness, since Billy had been arrested. The last thing you could remember feeling, really feeling, was a deep and intense sorrow when you listened to Billy’s message. He had broken your heart, left you, and then revealed himself to be a monster and you…You were just tired.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Y/N,” Billy’s back was to you. You had barged into his office at Anvil, demanding to see him, but now that you were there… The way he was talking to you was cold and detached. His stance was rigid, his focus was on the recruits below him, not on you. This Billy—CEO Billy—was not what you had signed up for.

“I want you to say you’re sorry,” you said, “I want you to say you care.” Billy didn’t say anything. You clenched your fists. “Look at me, Billy.”

He turned. He was wearing an expensive three-piece suit and his hair was impeccably cut. His eyes, the eyes you loved, the eyes that looked at you with such care and affection, were hollow.

“What happened to you?” You asked, looking him up and down with disgust. “You never come home, you barely spend any time with me—”

“What do you want, Y/N?” He said, irritation clear in his voice. “I’m busy. I’m working. I’m trying to afford the penthouse we live in and the car you drive.”

“I bought my own car,” you reminded him, eyes narrowed as you glared at him, “And I work, too, but I make time for the people I love.”

Billy sighed, rolling his shoulders. “I told you, you don’t have to work.”

You sighed then. He was missing the point. “Billy,” you tried again, “I’m tired of this. I can’t keep being an afterthought for you. I need you.” You tried to look in his eyes, but he avoided your gaze. “I miss you.”

Billy walked over to you and put a hand on your waist. He pulled you towards him and kissed you. “I miss you, too,” his voice was husky as he moved his lips to your neck, “I know I’ve been working a lot lately, but we’re so close…”

You closed your eyes. You wanted to have a conversation, but it was hard to think of words—let alone form any—with his mouth on your skin. “Will you come home tonight?” You asked, breath short and voice heavy with lust.

“Mm hmm,” his hand slid to your ass as he kissed you again, “I’m gonna be all yours tonight.” He licked into your mouth and smiled when you moaned.

You felt his hardness pressing against your front and you deepened the kiss. “I don’t know if I can wait that long,” you whispered.

Billy chuckled and released you from his grip. You glared as you watched him walk over to his desk. He pressed a button on his phone and leaned over to speak. “Hold all my calls,” he ordered, smirking over at you, “I don’t want any calls or interruptions for the next hour.” He walked past you and you heard him lock the door behind you. His eyes were gleaming when he turned back to you and he looked like himself, like your Billy, again. His smile made your heart skip a beat. “Take your clothes off, baby. I want to spend some time with you.”

You sat up with a start. It had been months since you’d last dreamt of Billy. You looked around you and cursed under your breath. You had fallen asleep on the couch. No wonder you were off. You hadn’t been able to have a full night’s rest without sleep aids since…since Billy had left that message on your phone. If you didn’t take a pill before you went to bed, you would dream about Billy. You didn’t want to dream about him, you wanted to ignore the ache in your chest and the emptiness in your life and just… Get over it. Get over him. You felt a headache coming on, so you shuffled to the bathroom for a quick shower before bed.

Your mind kept going back to Billy as you got ready for bed; you remembered the strain in his voice in the message he left you, how he used to laugh when you stuck your cold feet on his back, the way he stared down at you as he shifted inside you, driving you wild. You could see his eyes, dark and expressive and so full of love when he looked at you, every time you closed your eyes. You gave up on sleep and went back to the couch, deciding to just spend the night watching horrible night time TV until you could get Billy out of your head.

You were finally getting into the Real Housewives marathon you had been watching when you heard a knock on your door. You glanced at your phone: it was 11 pm. Who the hell would be at your door at this time? You grabbed your phone in case you needed to call the police and stood on your tip-toes to look into the peephole. Your mouth fell open at the same time your phone hit the floor with a dull thump.

Billy Russo was standing in the hallway of your apartment. And he was covered in blood.

*************************************************************************************

I have the next two parts locked and loaded! Pleaaase comment and let me know if you want the rest. The more feedback I get, the more I update! Thanks for reading, and may Billian be with you.

BTW, I got the title from this “emotion that’s hard to describe word”:  Heartworm: a relationship or friendship that you can’t get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

TAGLIST: @delicatelilyflower @doneobrien @ladyblablabla @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor  @starsfragments @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @hisgirlwednesdayaddams@fictionwillneverdie @maria-beretta @sadnessxvodka @ymariejp @sunnycolors @moonlightsay @its-all-o-kay @damagelove @keyeluh @itsmylife98 @funerals-with-cake @littlemermaidprobz @teacuplotus @king4thesirens @mrsjaxtellerfan @thebabblingbook @tartelette-aux-fraises @madamrogers  @charlylama @iaintnofurry​ @k-buggz2001​ @whitewolfslittlesilverfox @drinix @elanor-of-imladris @floralpeaceofmind

[blondecarfucker]

Bed of Roses (1988 Special)

Roger Taylor x Reader BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader

Fic Summary: It's 1971. You just moved to London to study, and you find a band on a local pub after a bad date. The encounter doesn’t go the way you expect it, and neither does what follows this evening as you try to deal with loving Roger Taylor.

Fic Note: So I’ve had this story in my head for the last three weeks and finally decided to write it down. It’s completely planned. It will have 21 chapters and it’s divided in three acts: Dusk, Night and Dawn. It’s will be a bit angsty in the future, and it will most likely have some smut as well. I hope you guys enjoy it! Tell me what you think about it in the asks/comments/messages. If this is your first time stumbling upon Bed of Roses, thank you for stopping by! The rest of the story is in my masterlist, the link is in my bio - can't put the link here or else the post will disappear from the tags.

Chapter's notes: so this is not even a real chapter??? i mean, it doesn't have a number - it's really a reallll epilogue, you really get to know what happen in the eleven years that follow the end of the story. this wasn't really on my outline - i just kept thinking about the characters cause theyre SO CUTE and DESERVE THE BEST and im an absolute softie so i couldnt help but write this. its probably a bit messy cause im tired atm but im happy i wrote this and i want to share it with you guys already. im curious to know what you guys think about it! - also, just making it clear, there's no story for a sequel, so there's no sequel coming. just so you guys know. thanks again for stopping by and reading my story and being AMAZING. im a bit rusty i guess so sorry about the size of the chapter

Words: around 2.8k

1988

You heard Roger hitting the drums as you opened the studio door.

"Hey, Y/N", Freddie said, coming to hug you. "It's your man recording", he told you, and you nodded.

"I see", you answer, and Jim comes closer to Freddie and says hello to you. You really like the way they feel at ease with each other - it just looks natural. It's been long ever since you saw Freddie so peaceful.

But Roger soon showed up in your field of vision, having just left the recording booth. "Babe, it's so good to see you", he said, hugging you by the waist. "Good seeing you too, Rog. What are you guys recording?, you ask, and Deacy answers.

"It's 'Rain Must Fall', just wrote it with Freddie", he says, as Freddie listens to Roger's recording.

"It's still not right", he says, and Roger sighs. "Be right back", he tells you, going inside the booth.

Now that you're paying attention, you realize it's latin percussion. "This is really nice", you tell Freddie, and he smiles. "Thanks, darling. How's the museum? Did it fall apart after you spent a month away?", he asked, and you laughed.

"Actually, they've been holding up quite nicely", you say, referring to the period you've just spent with them in Montreux. "They're getting used to it, I suppose", and he nods.

You and Roger have been taking turns the last decade on who's gonna spend time along with the other, but now, after you've got your PhD and was promoted to Senior Curator, your job could be done without official office hours, so you've been following Roger around a bit more - which is nice, especially when he's in Montreux, such a calm place you thought about retiring there, in the future.

"And this outfit, too, I love it. You look like such a serious business woman" Jim said, pointing to your tailleur. "I have to look the part, Jim", you shrug, and Brian laughs. "I miss your yellow Chuck Taylors days, Y/N", he says, and you laugh. "These shoes are killing me, so I do, too", you tell him.

"I won't invite you to dance, then", Freddie said, and you frowned. "Please do, Freddie. You know how I love these latin inspired songs of yours", you pouted, and Freddie laughed, extending a hand to you.

You could feel Roger's eyes watching you through the glass as you danced with Freddie. Rain Must Fall reminded you of Cool Cat, and even though the Hot Space days, in 1981 were complicated, it reminded you of an afternoon with Roger on a yacht on Lake Geneva, the two of you drinking mimosas and sunbathing as Montreux glimmed under the Riviera sun.

"God, I hate this fucking song", Roger said, sipping on his mimosa.

"It's not the best", you agreed, and he laughed.

"This fucking album, I swear to God. If it wasn't for you here, I would've dropped this", he said, and you got up to prepare another mimosa for you.

"Don't say that, Rog. You wouldn't drop the band", you said, and he sighed.

"You're right. But I would drop this album, though. This song, even - I didn't take part in anything regarding the production. I just watched, like you watch a car crash", he says, and it's your turn to laugh.

"You're so dramatic", you tell him, mixing the orange juice and the champagne. "But seriously, babe. Do you even like the songs we're making now?", he asks, and you take a sip of your drink.

"I like Under Pressure", you say, and you're happy to see his face lighten up as he laughs. "Of course you do. I'm impressed you didn't ask Bowie for an autograph yet", he said, and you laugh along. "I have to stop myself from fangirling every time he's around, you know. It's pretty hard, but I do my best not to embarass you", you told him, sitting by his side.

His sun kissed skin made his eyes even brighter than usual - like lapis lazuli on bronze.

"Like I try not to embarrass you by looking stupid when we're on one of your fancy dinners?", he asks, hugging you by the side. "Exactly", you told him, pressing a quick kiss on his lips. He tasted like orange.

As you now kept dancing with Freddie, Jim pulled Deacy for a dance too, and eventually everyone was dancing to Roger's percussion. Each had a different level of success, and you were trying to help Brian when Roger finished his part.

It made you happy to have moments like this. After A Kind Of Magic, in 1986, the band was fighting constantly - it made you sad to see such thing. Roger even created a side band, The Cross, and he worked with them for a while before reuniting with Queen for this new album.

You were always a huge fan of his solo work, but you never connected with The Cross - and you felt like he didn't, either. They never really challenged him, and anything only gets better after receiving honest feedback.

But now Freddie wanted to produce again with the rest of the band - as much as they could, non-stop. They wouldn't even tour after this album, The Miracle. You felt like Roger knew exactly why these changes happened, but he didn't share them with you. You didn't really mind - it was not only his privacy, but the privacy of the rest of the band members. The fact that he was trustworthy enough to keep his friend's reasoning behind a polemic decision private only made you love him more.

"Babe", Roger called, walking over to you. You hugged him, his known smell now more refined, cologne mixed with the patchouli and substituting the cigarette smoke - you both quitted smoking, since you heard it could be harmful for little ones.

"The kids are with their nanny, right?" Rog asked you, and you nodded.

It was 1982 when you realized you couldn't keep your breakfast - you vomited every morning, almost religiously, twenty minutes after you ate.

Roger was immediately concerned on the phone - you spent two weeks in Mexico for work, and it was only when Roger spent a weekend there at the end of your trip that he told you not to drink the tap water. So you were both convinced you had some parasite, and Roger took you to a doctor - he liked to spend time with you when you were both in London, even in boring activities, since you still lived in separate flats, always trying to take it slow - even though you felt like a teenager when you had to pack to stay a weekend at your boyfriend's house - and you considered talking to Roger about moving in together again.

The doctor soon realized there were no parasites inside you, but there was a baby - a 3 months old little boy, in fact, as the doctor confirmed after taking you two to the ultrasound room.

You could never forget Roger's face once he understood what the doctor told the two of you. He was going to be a father.

But the realization that you were going to be a mother took a little longer to hit you. It was only when you heard the baby's heartbeat that you really understood what was going on inside you - a baby. Your baby. Roger's baby.

Proof that you were together, proof that you belonged to each other, that you loved each other.

"This is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard", Roger told you, and you smiled in agreement.

Nine months later, Apollo was born.

You agreed on Apollo because you always thought about how Roger reminded you of Apollo, and it did remind you of New York, too - the Apollo Theater was a landmark only a couple dozens streets above the apartment you grew up in.

But Apollo was much more like you than he was like his dad. He inherited his dad's dirty blonde curls, but his eyes were just like yours, and so was his personality - he was very determined, liked to be alone, and a full blown nerd. He taught himself to read when he was four, and now, at age 6, he liked to read The Hobbit by himself.

He didn't speak with an English accent, oddly enough, even though he was raised in London - he spoke water like his dad, but copied your accent in every other word.

Roger would hold him and hug him and always spend time with "his little guy", always telling him how proud he is to be the father of a genius, and Apollo's cheeks would be flushed pink, just like yours did when Roger told you how smart you are.

When Apollo was born, you both agreed to move in together into a big family home, but you filled the walls with artwork and tapestry, and Roger made sure there was always good music playing - it didn't feel like you were abandoning your old selves to become parents; it felt like a natural step.

And for financial reasons - mostly to protect Apollo and to make taxes easier - you and Roger decided to get married. He tried to play the practical part, reaffirming marriage was just a title and the two of you were way beyond that, but you knew, deep down, that he was incredibly happy to get on his knees and propose.

It was a simple ceremony in 1984 - close friends and family under the hawaiian sunset, the Lana'i Island's atmosphere made you feel like you were in a dream. With a simple cotton white dress, you reunited with Roger - in a half open, white cotton button up - in front of a licensed marriage performer, and you became Ms Taylor.

Roger used any excuse to call you Ms Taylor, savoring the name on his tongue just like he did with your lips on honeymoon.

Apollo was 2, and stayed with his grandparents for a week as the two of you enjoyed your honeymoon on paradise. "It's funny how this is like, the millionth time I feel like I'm on honeymoon with you", you tell Roger, and he pouts. "If you consider honeymoon everytime we go somewhere amazing alone and keep fucking like teenagers, then yeah. But this is special. This feels more… I don't know. Official", he said, and you agreed.

And all that young love had a result - you soon found out you got pregnant again after a routine blood test. Roger was, again, the happiest man on Earth.

You felt calmer this time around - a kid and responsibilities didn't ruin your relationship with Roger the first time around, and you were actually pretty good parents.

So when Live Aid came about, you were huge - you enjoyed the many performances, but when Queen was onstage, it felt different. You could remember when, almost fifteen years ago, you saw these guys broke, rehearsing and travelling around in a van.

Now they were here, and in a day filled with performances from stars, they shined the brightest.

You don't know if it was all the emotions you felt watching them, but once you finally got home, the sun about to rise - Apollo long asleep - you sat down to prepare a warm bath for the two of you, but you felt something warm running down your legs. Your water broke.

You and Roger ran to the Hospital, and after a few hours, Artemis was born.

She screamed, not cried, once she first looked at you and Roger, almost annoyed - like she was sad she missed the show.

Artemis was a logical name choice - Apollo's twin in greek mythology - but the kid also got her strong will. She looked just like her father, big, round blue eyes and pink, full lips soon learned to express what she desired and complained when things seemed wrong in her perspective.

At the early age of three and with a reduced vocabulary, she convinced the two of you to get the smallest drum set you could find, and she tried to repeat her fathers movements on it, still too small for her tiny kit, but proud of the loud noises she made, hitting it recklessly.

Roger looked at it as if he was seeing a miracle.

The kids were raised primarily in London, but they spent some time in Montreux, when the band was recording, under their father's care, or on tour when you could stay with them - tour made the kids so confused about their whereabouts that it needed a conjoined effort - but now that the band was recording in London with no plans for long periods away, it was going to be interesting.

Apollo was just getting started in school, and soon it would be Artemis turn. They still had no dimension of their fathers - or their "uncles" - importance, but you and Roger talked about this, waiting for the day you'd have to explain your life for the kids, who you were before you were their parents.

You wondered if Apollo would think back on the time he went to dad's work and he was dressed as a woman - he couldn't recognize Roger when he was Rogerina while recording the video for I Want To Break Free until he took his wig off.

It was a better reaction than John's kids had, screaming in fear of the old, scary and tall lady that tried to pick them up.

The latest video recording was incredibly sweet, actually - it was for The Miracle, the single, and the band was going to be interpreted by 11 year olds. The kid that played Freddie was absolutely brilliant, mimicking all of his signature moves.

But it was the kid that played Roger who stole your heart.

As you watched the tiny Rog rehearse, you couldn't help but imagine Artemis hitting her drums - maybe in a few years, she'd be able to actually play something.

You also thought about Apollo, how he'd look like an even younger version of Roger if he was sitting on the stool, bouncing his curls and pouting in concentration.

You really loved the life you lived now, and when you looked back to all the drama that went between you and Roger so you could get here - two happy, fully realized people; and two great parents - you'd do it all again.

You kept thinking about it as the kid rehearsed Roger's part in the song, until you felt a familiar smell fill the air around you, and an arm snaking around your waist.

"Hello, beautiful stranger. Are you lost?", Roger whispered, his husky voice still able to give you chills.

"I am, actually. I can't find my husband, and I came here just to see him before work", you said.

"How did he get so lucky to have you?", he asks, and you turn around to kiss him.

"Actually, I'm his good luck charm", you say, pulling him closer to you.

He was ready for the shoot, so you felt bad when you broke the kiss and realized you transfered part of your lipstick to his lips.

"Shit, your makeup artist is going to kill me", you say, trying to wipe it away.

"It's fine", he says, kissing you again. "So I'm picking Apollo from school today, right?", he confirmed, and you nodded. It would always amaze you how you found your own level of responsibility, of the feared and dreaded domesticity, without losing the passion you had for each other. Taking it slow.

But now, back in the studio, you said goodbye to everyone, and followed Roger to a limo.

You always had your nights out - nights where you'd stay in a fancy hotel room just for the sake of being together in different ambiances. You two learned from your trip to Paris how it makes you more in love with each other, the new place making you fonder of what you know and love - in your case, Roger.

So when he popped open a bottle of champagne while you undressed, and once you were only in your lingerie, Roger took his own shirt off, knowing to pass it to you - a ritual, really.

You both went out, relaxed and comfortable, and enjoyed the view.

The Thames was below you, and you could see the entire city - if you tried, you could point where the bar you first met was, and Kensington Marked, and the first flat you shared. London was a huge part of your story.

"Let's make a toast", Roger said, and you nodded. "To what?", you asked, but you knew the answer.

You've been together for almost twenty years, now, so it's normal for you to know what to expect from Roger. But it doesn't feel boring - it feels like home.

"Us", he says.

-

Taglist: 

@taylorroger-s @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @its-nessi @anamcg317 @frenchieswiftie @queen-danielle-dani-dan @minihemo @shutup-sorry @theyrealllegends @killerqueenisthebest @ashagracelove @hardy-s @fuckinghurricanesoul @secretsweetscollectionblog @mrswinterhater @11mb0 @tamtam-go92 @derptatosaur @brianandthemays @phantom-fangirl-stuff @the-hysterical-queen @rogerofmylife @notevenlxvely @discodeakyy @x1975sos @16wiishes @jennycidesstuff @partydulce @melros-e @onevisionliz

[angrylizardjacket]

a process {John Deacon}

Anon asked: Could you write something where reader (possibly in the band) and deaky are totally in love with each other but both are too shy to say anything and oblivious to see the others feelings but at the end the get together and it’s 100% fluff? Thank u sm your fics are gold

A/N: 3169 words. If I recall, some people wanted some Deaky fic?? He’s so lovely and this was a lot of fun to write!! Again, this is the BoRhap!Deaky. Also I wrote half of this at work; this is university funded fic ladies and gentlemen.

“Alright, boys, jus’ letting you know we’ve got a new intern in today; Y/N, she’s going to be shadowing me.” The sound designer, Earl, a skinny gentleman who always seemed to be wearing black, denim shorts no matter the weather, announces your arrival over the microphone to the recording studio where the band was discussing what song to practice next. In the next moment, you have four pairs of eyes all watching you through the glass of the sound studio, and you give a nervous wave back.

“Hello.” You offer, awkwardly, and Earl leans in to the microphone on the desk.

“She says hello.” He informs the others, and you feel like an idiot. Fortunately, the men all wave back, giving quick greetings of their own, before going back to their discussion.

“They’re good.” Earl, pulled up a spare chair for you by the desk, checking the levels as they started up on a new song. From anyone else, the words would sound like a mild compliment at best, but from Earl, who you’ve known practically forever, he was a friend of the familys’, and he did not shy away from complaining about the ‘teeny bopper drivel’ he had to make sound half-decent, you knew it was closer to a round of applause.

“Intern? Does that mean you get us drinks?” They’re actually recording now, one at a time, while the rest of them lounged around on the other side of the room with you. You’re perched on the edge of your chair by the sound desk when the drummer, Roger, speaks to you. Their lead singer, Freddie was at that moment, currently in the recording studio, crooning into the microphone with his headphones on, and it takes you a moment to turn and consider what he had said.

“I mean… yeah, I guess?” Looking to Earl to either confirm or deny the request, he’s focused on the sound desk, just waves you off with a distracted affirmation. A grin stretches over Roger’s face.

“Bourbon, thanks.” And his grin only got wider at your sudden confusion.

“Water for him.” Pipes up the bass player, John, sitting against the wall with his ankles crossed, smiling up at you. “And one for me too, if it’s not too much trouble.” Relieved, you smiled back at him despite Roger’s protests. “You want anything, Bri?” John asked their guitarist, and you ended up getting drinks for everyone. Thankful that they kept fresh bottles in the break room, you returned as Freddie stepped out of the sound booth, and his recording was played back. His smile was stiff as you handed him a water bottle, though it was probably because he was trying to concentrate on the playback of his vocals than any malice towards you. Roger accepted the drink begrudgingly, and Brian smiled at you.

“I’m John, by the way.” Holding out his hand to you, you bent down to shake John’s hand where he was still sitting on the floor.

“I know,” you answered automatically, though he could see the regret on your face as soon as you said it, “I mean, we can hear you guys from in there, talking and everything,” you tried to explain yourself, still shaking his hand. After a long moment silence, he’s still looking at you with a bewildered, but pleasant smile. “I’m Y/N.” You finally manage.

“I know.” And he’s grinning at you, amused as you finally retract your hand to cross your arms over your chest. “You were introduced.” Pointing at Earl, you followed his gaze to the sound desk and the glass window, through which you could see Freddie setting up for another take.

“I’m Roger.” Roger offers from the side, and he seems to be splitting his focus between you and the singer.

“He’s Roger.” John muttered, much more quietly. How he was able to verbally communicate a fond eye-roll, you may never know.

“What does this one do?” Three weeks into your three month internship, and you’re minding the desk while Earl’s on break, slapping away John’s hands as he tries to get near the buttons.

“I don’t know.” You laughed for the fourth time in a row, pushing his hands gently from the desk.

“This one makes things loud, right?” His fingers edge towards one of the faders and you can see the grin he wears as he watches your expression closely, deciding if you’re going to slap him away from it again. The others have gone to get lunch and he’s keeping you company. He’s been doing that a lot recently, and you wouldn’t say you minded. John’s good company, unexpectedly sharp, and he always seems happy to see you.

“You probably shouldn’t touch that one; it’s for your bass.” You raised your eyebrows at him, lips twitching as you repressed a smile, watching him retract his hand to fold it in his lap.

“So that one’s for the bass, but what about the others?” He asked, nodding to the other faders, and you shrugged.

“Not sure.” Your response only made him smile wider.

“But you know which one the bass one is?” He asked, and you let yourself smile at him, a little more mischievous than was strictly necessary.

“Maybe I just told you that so you wouldn’t touch it.” There’s an unspoken challenge in your words, and his fingers danced along the bottom of the soundboard, just below where the masking tape labels for the faders have all worn away. There’s a moment, he’s hovering over one that looks like it’s labelled ‘Mic 2’ and you’re hand is already raised ready to knock him back, when the door bursts open and the others all spill in.

“Alright, out of my seat.” Earl pulls the rolling chair back with you still in it, and you obligingly hop out. “You didn’t touch anything, did you?” He asked, just like he had every single time since he’d first trusted you to look over it while he was gone.

“Yeah, Deaky, did you-” Roger’s wearing a shit-eating grin, but the bass player has hopped out of the seat that usually belongs to you, to make a beeline for the recording studio.

“Oh shut it, Rog,” he snaps, and though you can’t see the blush rising on his cheeks, he knows it’s there. “No.” He adds, and Roger’s exaggerated eye-roll, and the comment he had made, make you blush also, but you’re not entirely sure why, or at least, you won’t admit to yourself why.

“Okay, take, uh, take six? Take six of Killer Queen’s bass.” You stumbled over your words while speaking over the microphone into the recording booth where John waited with headphones on. He gave you a thumbs up, which you missed, searching for the button to play back the other accompaniment into his headphones. After a moment of fumbling, Earl pointed the button out to you, giving you a longsuffering smile as the music began to play back. The other band members quietly discussed the logistics of the song as you watched Earl gently adjust the sound levels every few moments. Sparing a glance to John through the glass, you get a little lost for a moment, watching his intense concentration as he worked his way through the song. He had an intensity about him, the utmost concentration that made you not want to look away. Finishing without a single note missed, he looks up to see you looking back at him, a little starry-eyed, and he grins back.

“Wow.” You breathe, before turning bright red, feeling someone over your shoulder.

“She thinks it’s great.” Freddie pressed down the button, speaking into the microphone by your shoulder. John chuckled fondly, a little flush.

“I- yeah, thank you.” After a beat, he recomposed himself. “And you guys?” His gaze finally moved from your face to look over the others, who were all looking at either you or John smugly. Freddie stepped back from the console, crossing his arms over his chest with a smile as he looked between you two.

“She’s right.” Roger called from the sofa, splayed across it, partially leaning against Brian. After a beat, John gave him a confused look, tapping at the headphones. “Oi, tell ‘im.” Roger urged you, and tentatively you pressed the microphone button, leaning in to it.

“They agree.” And you watch him let out a sigh of relief as he goes to put his bass on it’s stand, making room for Brian to step in and start with his section. When he comes back into the room, John makes a beeline for the sofa, only to find Roger’s laid himself across it horizontally, taking up as much room as he possibly could.

“Sorry, mate.” The drummer grins, clearly not sorry at all. Even Freddie, who usually didn’t go in for this sort of stuff, was using the armrests of the armchair he had draped himself in, giving the bass guitarist a knowing smile, and a sly look to where you were receiving a quiet lesson faders from Earl as Brian began making sure his guitar was in tune.

“You’re doing really good,” John muttered to you from where he leaned against the wall close to the sound desk. You’d just called to start the guitar track and he was keeping his eyes on his bandmate. Startled, you slid the headphones from your ears where you were listening to make sure Brian was hearing the same thing you were.

“What?” Voice quiet, you looked up at John, and he finally looked away from Brian, smiling fondly at you.

“The whole intern thing, you’re doing really well.” And the resulting smile you gave him made you glow with pride. You’d been so worried that it had seemed like you were stumbling through your tasks, because, well, at times you were, but even a slight affirmation had you thrilled. After a beat, you tried to school face into something more serious as you tried not to let the embarrassing crush on him that had developed over the past few weeks show. He was a musician and you were an intern, and it was just a little bit of a hero-crush, nothing to get too serious about. But he was smiling back at you, and it just made you feel warm; it didn’t have to be a bad thing if you didn’t let it.

Once the album is done, you still actually manage to see them around, at least for the first few weeks. You’d actually managed to score a job as an assistant from the internship, and they were in often discussing the plans of their tour. Every time they spotted you in the halls, the others would conveniently vanish the moment John asked how you’d been. It hurt a little, to think about how you wouldn’t see them, see him, for a few months, or perhaps even a year, but you thought perhaps it would be a good thing, letting your little crush die.

“I’ll really miss working with you.” But then he had to go and say that, smiling in that way that made everything seem alright, and he wrapped an arm around you in a hug. He’s not usually a tactile person, from what you’ve gathered, and it takes a moment for you to find your voice.

“I’ll miss,” the words get stuck in your throat a little, “working with you too.” He gives you a comforting squeezes, and you’re not sure what to do about the way your heart beats a little faster, so you let him leave. He hesitates for a moment, seems like he doesn’t want to go, or has something to say. You see something in his smile, maybe a little sadness, maybe something else you can’t quite place, and you both know it’ll be a while before you see each other again.

“Is Y/N going to be here?” John’s bopping slightly to the beat in his head as he watches Earl set up the sound equipment on the farm.

“She’ll be here tomorrow.” Earl doesn’t look up from his job while Roger yells at the same time, from the other room.

“No distractions!” And it’s accompanied by the thwap of Roger’s slipper hitting the glass of the window to the sound room, but he’s grinning at the bassist from where he’s sitting behind his drums. John refuses to read into that.

It’s been almost six months since you’d seen each other, and you’d jumped at the opportunity to join Earl and the boys a the farm, even if it is in the middle of nowhere, and you’d be sleeping on a sofa for a week. You arrived at the tail end of their stay, once the music was written, all that was left to do was record it.

He’s waiting out the front of the house, perched on the brick wall and eyeing off a large chicken who looked like it was ready to spook him, when Earl pulls up with you in the front seat.The noise of the van is enough to send the chicken scrambling in the other direction, but John waved at you, and there it was, that feeling in your chest that you’ve been trying to bury for six whole months practically leaping to life as you step out to hug him in greeting.

“Oi, Y/N, settle an argument for us.” When you walk into the kitchen in the morning, Brian is smiling despite the fact that he’s got bacon in his hair, Roger is hunched over eating the rest of the bacon, at least what wasn’t scattered on the floor, from the pan and refusing to share, and John was just smiling blithely into his coffee.

“What do you think of when you hear the phrase, ‘I’m in love with my car’.” John asked, not looking away from where Roger was glowering.

“Is it a nice car?” You asked, easily making your way around the kitchen to fix yourself breakfast, ignoring the way Roger perked up at the question.

“Like as a song, what do you think?” John’s smile as catty as you’ve ever seen it. When you ask what happened to the coffee pot as it lay on it’s side sink, John hands over his mug without hesitating, still waiting on your response.

“Well... is it a metaphor?” You asked, squinting between the three of them. After a beat, Roger slams the frypan on the table and throws his hands in the air.

“Yes, see she gets it!” And you’re pretty sure you’re on the wrong side of the table as John shakes his head.

“So you metaphorically are in love with your car?” You asked, rounding the bench to join John and Brian, who were now actively stifling laughter as Roger’s face fell. Resting against the bench by John, you’re close enough that he can lean his head against your shoulder in solidarity, taking back his coffee and having a pointed sip as your words set Roger off on another rant. If you lean into it a little, he doesn’t seem to mind, in fact, you don’t see it, but his smile widens.

When you hear John banging on the door of the farmhouse after you’ve finished helping pack everything up and Earl’s already locked everyone else out of the sound room for the rest of the night, it’s a shock.

“Tell her!” You can hear Roger’s shout on the other side of the door as John knocks louder.

“You really should just tell her.” Unexpectedly, even Freddie seems to agree with the drummer, though John shouts that he’ll catch his death of cold if they don’t let him in soon.

“Be an adult, John!” Brian tries to placate the bassist from the other side of the door where they’ve all teamed up against him. “Just tell her.”

“Be an adult?!” John parrots back, just before you get to them.

“Tell me what?” That shut them all up quick, and even before he turns to face you, you can tell he’s bright red. “I mean, I’m the only ‘her’ for what feels like a few hundred kilometres.” Smiling with confusion, you look to the door, and then to John. Someone whispers ‘tell her’.

“I want to see you again.” John lets the words tumble out into the world, hands out and open in front of him in some sort of ‘ta-da’ gesture, before looking over his shoulder. “Can I come back inside now?” 

“What? No.” You can hear Roger’s baffled expression in his words, and it’s joined by a hum of agreement from Freddie.

“He’s right, Deaky, that was a terrible declaration of lov-” John’s pulling you away by the elbow before you could hear the rest of Freddie’s statement, though you got the general gist of it.

“You know what, maybe we’re better off out here.” He huffs, unable to look at you as he tugs you towards the wall.

“Slow down, slow down.” Once at the wall, you tug free from his grip and lean against it, watching him fidget. “You like me?” You asked, half smile forming on your lips.

“We’re not high schoolers, Y/N.” He tried dodging the question with a self-deprecating smile. Taking a step forward, you finally got him to look at you. “You know, it was weird, caring about you so much after only three months.” He admitted, studying your features with an intensity you had only seen him get around music, it made you feel like the only person in the world that mattered in that one moment. “It was weird, looking up on stage and not seeing you in the crowd.” He paused for a moment. “And I don’t want that to be our only interaction, just recording music together, I wanna take you take you to all the sights I got to see, but just... just because I want to see them with you.” When his gaze dropped, it felt as if the moment had passed, but you didn’t want to leave it just yet. Gently, you took his hand, and when his eyes met yours, you were smiling, a bit pink in the cheeks, but so obviously full of joy.

“I’d like that,” and after a beat, you moved in to press a kiss to his lips, soft and chaste. “I missed you... so much more than I thought I would.” You chuckled softly, moving back just a little. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t-”

“No, I did.” He looked away, a little embarrassed, and you could see the flush of his cheeks. “The, uh, the boys will attest to that.” He admitted, and that’s when you remembered, feeling the biting chill of the night air finally begin to hit you.

“Do you think they’ve unlocked the door?” You asked, looking over his shoulder. His expression fell as the two of you began to walk hand in hand back to the farmhouse.

“It doesn’t actually lock, they were just all leaning against it.”

[pangzi]

Okay how about this I’m always lookin for cpop groups to stan so why don’t you tell me about ur faves

you have no idea what you have unleashed!! but i will gladly take the offer and rant about my ult group TANGRAM i was gonna do ONER too but this post got too long and tangram was more important i tried to introduce the members but the descriptions just became random thoughts and tiny rants lmao sorry i love them a lot, i also added all songs i think and their reality shows pls love them they deserve it :( 

members: (basic member info here)

Qiu Zhixie (Frankie), oldest of the group, absolute vocal king and isn’t shy about it, parent of the group, loves his 5 children but is also done with them, language king!! his english is really good, says he also speaks spanish and japanese but there isn’t as much proof lmao, was in codename contra with yu bin, basically the perfect husband everyone wants to marry him, has tumblr???? says he doesn’t use it but we don’t believe him!! (i literally have a video of him telling me ‘tuMBLR? we doN’t uSe THat HEre!!’), songwriter!!!!!!!!!!!!!, old man and knows it but the members still wont let him forget, they bully him a lot bc they love him so much, has this one burberry shirt he wears all the time?? we lowkey want to burn it??

Lin Chaoze (Richard bc the chinese 理查德 li cha de sounds like his name), TINY GOD!!, lies about his height just like ji li but we still love him, looks tiny but is actually pretty tall wtf, dance KING!!, God of Dance Zhang Yixing even praised him!!, on ip he constantly helped people, is the reason why both tangram;s and all the teams he was ever on in ip’s choreos were that good and in sync, leader and parent of the group, also absolutely done with his children but would die for them, maotong is his favourite child and spoils him a lot, very insecure about his singing but has a beautiful voice, looks like a complete baby but on stage he… fuck god he’s so sexy on stage!, that’s why we sad off stage = chaoze, on stage = richard, really strict teacher, literally sees every little mistake it’s wild, most popular member!, really sassy and dramatic we love that!

Bei Honglin (Air) yes his english name is Air, yes he is still my ult i know he’s that powerful, aNOTHER VOCAL KING!! has a high singing voice but his speaking voice is really low?? seksi, completely underappreciated i swear to god he has like 5 fans???, the sWEETEST boy alive, cares so much about his fans he bought us ice cream in chengdu bc it was so hot sOBS, also went to make cheesecake to give it to people on his birthday event, and he and his mom bought my friend coffee when she went to see him on the airport at 5am and she was the only one there it was wild, together with zhixie he forms ΒΔΒΞ and they make food unboxing videos and theyre so funny jgklgjd, absolute sWEETEST MOST POWERFUL smile, i s2g i stanned chaoze without a doubt until bhl smiled at me ONCE and boom he was my ult wtf??, also nose crafted by the gods!! this man is perfect i swear, also i call him Jesus Oppa for reasons he would kill me if i posted said reasons, he also reads all his dms, comments and mentions on weibo and instagram!!,OH also auditioned for rap of china twice, first time he got told he doesn’t ‘look’ like a rapper?? is it bc he looks too pretty? bc he looks like an entire boyfriend??, n e way watch this stage, OH HE ALSO WRITES LYRICS FOR THEIR SONGS!!!!, super super super grateful for everything bc he knows he’s the least popular (he thought nobody was going to show up to his birthday event), crybaby (chaoze is too tbh), highkey in love with chaoze literally looks at him with heart eyes all the time, also loves his mom so much it’s so cute, i can talk about him for years so i’ll stop here pls love honglin

Li Ruotian (Kai), d e m o n, everyone’s bias wrecker, i heard he didn’t prepare anything when he auditioned so he just read a poem and got into the company???, pretty boy reading a poem exactly what banana ent needed!, he’s really really dumb and so funny wtf, his soft rap in Stay with you is the reason i am alive, lots of people end up stanning tgm just bc of this man’s face??, therefore he deserves the title visual of the group, really annoying but everyone loves him anyway, also actor!!, he’s gonna be on a period drama i think??, extra dangerous bc he has d-… dimples

Jiang Jingzuo (S???? according to this is banana lmao, we’ve decided it stands for sexy), another dance god!, also nice voice, we were all surprised he got some of ldh’s lines but god he deserves them, sweetest cheekies uwu baby, tries to looks like a cool dude but is baby, is done with everyone but also joins in their antics???, promised a love shot dance cover but i still haven’t seen it jingzuo where is it???????, also martial arts, don’t piss him off!!, made the entire room dirty during his ip intro video with his broom it was hilarious, niCE ARMS, also have i mentioned his cheeks????????, really really hot, will come for you when you least expect it 

Gao Maotong, god where do i start with this one??, baby of the group, an absolute meSS!!, super smart got like crazy high grades on his gaokao even tho he didn’t go to school since ip but just locked himself up at home to study for three months?? (that’s why a lot of recent stages are without him), guess that’s why his head is so big…, got into a super good university, so like he’s crazy smart but says he leaves his brain at home when he goes to work, so i can say he only has 1 braincell, he once licked a rock and took a frying pan everywhere???, dumbest funniest boy alive everyone loves him a lot, lies about his height too bc he’s so freaking tall??, aka his name suits him tall maotong, wants to stop growing poor baby give some of your toll to chaoze he needs it, gamer nerd, god there’s this one part where qzx bit him bc he wouldn’t stop gaming to plan their germany trip with him even though qzx was going back to taiwan soon gfkdljdf, OH uh yes he’s a rapper! and a really good dancer!!, basically every fan has adopted him, although there’s one person in his gc who says she’s his daughter lmaooo, really cute teethsies he’s really insecure about :(

Predebut they were Trainee18, there were also You Zhangjing and Lin Yanjun, they debuted with nine percent and are solo now, pls check them out bhl and qzx wrote this song for yzj and it’s amazing. Lu Dinghao left the group, i cannot explain why without ranting for 7 years + he doesn’t deserve that attention.

Songs:

Rock The Show (predebut with Trainee18), absolute BOP (lyrics, MV)

Radiant - single, debut song, basically a love song for the fans, cried when i first heard it, always makes my heart beat faster (lyrics - performance - home made MV lmao)

Focus - single, big fat bop, horrible super flashy mv (lyrics - MV - performance - dance practice (my fave tgm video))

Stay with You - single, absolutely gorgeous, might be their best song, lots of drama with the mv it was super sad i won’t add the mv, this song alwyas makes me happy tho(lyrics - performance)

Deja You - single, written for their company’s concert, the beginning is hilarious but it’s a good song (lyrics - performance)

The Painting from a Dream- super soft weird song, great to fall asleep to?? (lyrics)

Rush Forward - OST, really happy song?, didnt like it at first but now i do (lyrics)

Lyrics of love - for a charity event (lyrics - mv)

The Me Then, The Me Now - with you zhangjing, lin yanjun and my wife qiang dongyue, for their company concert (lyrics)

Lin Chaoze - Break it (lyrics - mv - performance)

Bei Honglin - Chasing Dreams OST (lyrics - mv)

Reality Shows:

Korea Trip - trip to korea after elimination IP (no chaoze)(PLAYLIST ENG SUBS)

Sawadikap Banana - predebut Tangram on vacation in thailand (PLAYLIST ENG SUBS)

Guten Guten Banana - TANGRAM trip to Hamburg for an event + You Zhangjing and Lin Yanjun for several episodes(PLAYLIST ENG SUBS)

This is Banana - preparation for the company concert so with other banana artists(PLAYLIST ENG SUBS)

Other subbed videos: TangramSUBS, BananaTeamSubs 1 / 2, 

[druidonity]

Anduin fanfic idea #1 (Feel free to use!)

IDEA: Varian’s death broke Anduin. With two wars back to back, he has had no time to recover. And now it’s the first year anniversary of his father’s death. Anduin cannot pretend anymore, he can’t hide his decaying health, he can’t hide his tears, and worst of all, no matter how much the light tries, it’s powers weaken on him. If the boy doesn’t change, he’s on track to die due to his heart break. But that’s not how this timeline should go. Anduin is needed for Azeroth to survive.  Chromie offers the young king a much needed break, and the next thing Anduin knows, he’s outside a house in Westfall. The house of the Ellerian nobel family. 

Rules for use: Credit me for the idea, and if you post the story, let me know! I wanna read! :D

Below the line are chapter by chapter notes for the story. Feel free to use all of it, none of it, some of it, etc.

Prologue: All events in the summery of the story above. Anduins sick, Chromie appears, sends him back in time, but makes it appear like hes asleep so Genn and the others don’t worry.

Chapter one: Anduin, weak and confused, is cared for by Mrs and Mr Ellerian, as well as their two daughters, Tiffin and Shelby. Tiffin is an 18 year old, currently trying her hardest to escape nobility. She seeks to be free, travel, like an adventurer. Shelby, age 12, goes to school in Stormwind, and wants to be Queen, but because she could finally make Stormwind’s crown help West fall. Anduin speaks to these people, and they ask him questions, he does not tell them who he is, only that his name is Llane. He is given soup and allowed to stay the night, in Tiffin’s room, with Tiffin moving to Shelby’s room. Surprisingly, for nobles, their second home is small and comfurting, and they dont appear to be nobles at all. Shelby mentions that her parents like to keep a humble side. As much as they represent Stormwind, they also wish to represent West fall.

Chapter two: Tiffin and Shelby set off to Stormwind the next day, Shelby for schooling and Tiffin to keep up with the Stormwind politics. Anduin goes with them and finds out that Tiffin from a young age has been representing the Ellerian house, mainly because her parents have weak bones and don’t make the trip every other day, only once a week. They stop in Goldshire for a bit before making it to Stormwind gates. (Tiffin gets nervous around Goldshire, turns out she has an ex who works in the Forge, she doesnt want to run into him. ((i read something about an ex in her wiki i think))

Chapter three: Tiffin shows Anduin their home in Stormwind, a rather nice house in Cathedral square. Anduin realizes he’s never known this was their house, and makes a mental note to check to see who owns the property when he gets back to his time. Tiffin says he can’t go with her to the meetings, but Anduin is free to do whatever he wants. He can leave if he wants, but he should at least write a note for her parents. They would worry. Anduin mentions he really doesnt have a place to go, to sleep, nor money for an inn. Tiffin says he’s allowed to stay in their home for as long as he wants, just don’t steal anything. My parents would know the second they walk into the house. Theyll find you. Anduin maybe spends the day walking around past Stormwind? He thinks of all the times he could change, but knows he should not mess with time.

Chapter four: Anduin ends up staying with the girls for months. Anduin becomes really close with the Ellerian family, and they try to pay him to be a house sitter for their home in Stormwind whenever the girls go back to westfall. Tiffin’s parents often invite Anduin over for dinner, etc. But then one month Tiffin’s parents pass, and her little sister (is killed or goes missing? maybe leaves a note explaining she isnt happy where she is anymore? i dont know? Or maybe the school sends her off to study across the globe?). Anyway, Tiffin is greatly hurt, and Anduin is the only one to comfort her. Except, he’s not. Tiffin tells him about a friend she’s recently made, and Anduin knows exactly who it is before she tells him. Tiffin talks about how she originally hated him, but now thats shes forced to spend a bit more time with him as the only noble of her household, she’s learned alot more about him. The King, Varian.

Chapter five: Anduin finds an invitation addressed to him to a winter ball at the keep, and finds out tiffin had smuggled an extra invite for him. Anduin sees many people at this ball, including Prince Arthas, Jaina, Onyxia, Bolvar, Magni, etc etc. Suddenly Anduin feels out of place and uncomfortable at the ball, but before he can slip out, Tiffin finds him to introduce him to the King. Seeing his father nearly brings Anduin to tears on the spot, but he survives the meeting. Anduin leaves the party early, to lock his bedroom door and let out all of his stress and feelings out. He misses his father sooo much.

Chapter six: Tiffin picks up on Anduin’s sorrow and tries her best to help him while getting the reason why. Anduin makes something up, while slightly true, saying Varian reminds him of an old family member who passed long ago. That he was nervous being around so many important political people and nobles, as a common man himself. Tiffin doesn’t really know how to fix these, but she can use the light to calm Anduin. She places her hand on his head and channels light, and Anduin again feels like crying because of just how powerful this moment felt. Its the first time hes seen her use the light, and she’s using it to aid him. This moment was the moment Anduin has dreamed of since a child, his mother caring for him and helping him in his worst of times. Tiffin says she learned about the light from a young age, but never really had a use to use it until recently. She was told she was very powerful, but she didn’t really believe it. Anduin says he thinks she’s got a thing with light.

Chapter seven: Time skip, Anduin now as seen Tiffin and Varian fall in love, and now it’s their wedding. Anduin offers to help in any way he can and Tiffin manages to give Anduin and very important role in her wedding. Tiffin wants him to be the ring bearer. The day goes perfectly, Anduin feeling so much joy the entire time. Near the end of the day, Lady Prestor confronts him, asking him how long he’s known the couple to be given the role of ring bearer. Anduin takes this oppurtunity to chat with her, but Prestor finds the man too chatty, too questioning, and walks away. Anduin finally feels like Chromie’s medicine has worked. He feels like he could go back home and do anything, including win the war, for peace.

Chapter Eight: If feels strange when Tiffin moves into the keep and leaves the home to him, but atleast Anduin can guess the house back home is probably owned by some random dude named Llane lol. He is often invited to the keep, and has become friends with Varian too, to go as far as to ask Anduin if he would like a job within the keep, or some other ranking position. They know he was a way with words and some use of the light, he could be of use. Tiffin seeks out Anduin sometime later, and with Varian, announces she’s pregnant. It feels really weird to realize there is now two of you, you you, and in mom’s belly you. Anduin supports them in any way he can. He also notices Lady Prestor acting a bit strange, appearing more around tiffin then usual. Anduin knows he shouldnt change the past, but he cannot let the past change on it’s own too.

Chapter nine: Prince Anduin, newborn son to the crown, is utterly adorable, and “Llane” Anduin adores him. He also sees now that as a newborn, he was whiney as fuck, but Tiffin’s light has always calmed him down. Varian also seems to adore his son, cooing over him, caring for him as much as he can between his job. Tiffin also seems to want to care for her son as much as possible, refusing the help of nannys as much as possible. At one point, Prestor gets the chance to babysit the newborn, but Anduin make sure he’s able to but in, taking the chance to keep an eye on the newborn while annoying the dragon with small talk. He can feel malicious intent from the women, and feels as if he’d just about saved his own life. He couldn’t be sure. Bolvar appears and coos over the newborn and offers to take the newborn off Prestor’s hands, and she accepts and backs away.

Chapter ten: Tiffin seeks out Anduin, telling him not to tell anyone, but shes afraid. Someone she knows, but she wont tell Anduin, is after her. Theyre acting strange, she says. She tell Anduin she saw something she shouldn’t have seen, and now wishes to forget. Anduin urges her to speak to Varian, but Tiffin insists that her husband would never believe her. No one would. Anduin calms her down with the light and tells her that he believes her. He will always believe her. She thanks him for clearing her mind, but she refuses to tell him anything else. Anduin worries, but cannot change the timeline. He’s gotten what he came for, now he wonders why Chromie would keep him here longer.

The next week, The Queen is killed, however Anduin doesn’t feel the pain he thought he would, he saw it coming. What he didn’t see coming was that the rock wasn’t what killed her. How could it, she was a strong lady with the light to heal her, and the rock was very small. No, Lady prestor had poisoned her and hid it with the rock attack. And on her death bed, with Varian at her side a mess, she has Anduin come in. She thanks Anduin for everything. Anduin holds her hand, as she holds her newborn son in her arms, and thanks her. Chromie appears, telling “Anduin , it is time to go home”. Tiffin and Varian see her, and Chromie says she’ll just erase their memories. Anduin turns to his mom and says “Mother, I love you so much.”. Chromie teleports Anduin home, but stays a bit longer to erase Varian’s mind. As she goes to erase Tiffin’s mind, Tiffin grabs her arm lightly, stopping Chromie. She speaks with a weak voice, “I’m due to die soon, lady of time. Please, allow me to remember him. I want to die knowing my son grows up happy.” Chromie allows it, and sits with Tiffin, Baby Anduin, and Varian, as the queen passes away.

Epilogue: Turns out to disguise his dissapearance, Chromie made it look like Anduin had slept for days without waking. When Anduin does awake, Genn, Velen, Jaina, etc, are all rushed in to a collective sigh of relief. They feared the king poisioned, dying, etc etc, due to noticing his poor emotional state and lack of connection with light. Anduin feels much better, much calmer, and ready to continue his war for peace. He thanks Chromie for everything, and says if she ever needs anything, Anduin is at her service. Chromie, before leaving, tells him that the Queen died knowing he would live to be a great king, and a loving man, caring for all of Azeroth.

Anduin vists his mother’s grave, talking with her as if her spirit was there.

end.

[sunflowerrichie]

my boy

chapter 1: eighth grade

“who’s richie?”

“he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie.

summary: ever since they met in eighth grade, richie had been disappearing for weeks (even months) at a time, leaving eddie to think they’re on bad terms; though, that’s not really why richie disappears.

warning(s): language.

author: richie (sunflowerrichie)

note: this book is based off real life events, so if the details are too exact, that’s why. i don’t know how many chapters there will be at the moment due to events after the 7th chapter not happening yet, but i will let you guys know when i’m going to post the next chapter.

word count: 2,076

ao3: x

tagging: @addimagination

“who’s richie?” eddie had asked myra, his doe eyes wide and questioning; he briefly thanked whatever god was out there that the girl could not see him, for she’d read right through him. if eddie could go back in time from where he was now, he would’ve never asked that simple question containing only two words, though he already knew this was another one of her unsuccessful boyfriends. there was a comic book in his hand, one he disregarded the second someone new was mentioned.

myra fixed her hair from where she was lying on the couch, responding quickly. “he’s my boyfriend,” she began, her eyes glazed over and a pleased smile on her face. puppy love; something eddie would never get the chance in having with richie. “he’s tall and lanky... got dark, black hair; i’m surprised you haven't seen him around, eddie.” 

myra had met eddie in sixth grade, easily becoming friends with the hypochondriac. the smaller boy made a habit of wiping her desk down with cleansing wipes before she sat in it, and in return, she gave eddie platonic love. his mom loved her; for she was just as neat as her sweet eddie-bear and she vowed to make sure he’s taking his medication on time. she was much like sonia, actually; except for being a believer in ‘love at first sight’.

this wasn’t the first time she’s been head over heels for someone, nor would it be the last, but eddie was used to it at this point. each time, he’d make himself presentable for her boyfriend, and each time, they’d never show much interest in the asthmatic boy.

eddie hummed, feigning carelessness and turning back to his book. “is he in eighth grade, too?” he had asked, flipping the page over, though his ears were perked up and his eyes were no longer scanning the words printed nicely on the paper.

“yeah,” myra responded, her voice like she was up in the clouds, high on euphoria. she snapped back quickly, glancing down at the boy on the floor and catching his eyes. “you should talk to him; i think you would start to like him,” more than you think, eddie would learn to realize. before he could decline the offer, though, she was speaking again. “he likes david bowie... and what’s that one song you like?” she paused, her eyebrows scrunching together. “uh... something about the rains in africa?”

eddie perked up quickly, his hot chocolate colored eyes twinkling with the white marshmallows sculpted deep inside them. “africa by toto,” he had said, his cheeks growing hot. eddie kaspbrak loved music, he always had; and now that he would potentially have someone to discuss this love with, he was immediately hooked. he found out three years later, though, that it did not work out the way he had planned. he snapped out of his daze, his smile still apparent. “is he coming over?”

the girl grinned from ear to ear, unbelievably delighted that her best friend was keen on meeting her boyfriend. she looked down at her phone then, the screen lighting up and reflecting on her face in a green kind of glow, the color of her lock screen. “he said he’s on his way,” myra started. “he lives just down the street, so he’ll be here in a few minutes.”

the short boy was struck with a sort of fear then, subconsciously fixing his hair. he nodded, biting his lip and trying not to act suspicious (though this was normal for him; he was always afraid new people would think he’s too messy, too uncaring). myra didn’t seem to notice, though, and kept staring at her phone with a smile, typing away at the keys. at this realization, eddie stood up and coughed awkwardly. “i’m gonna go use the bathroom.” once he got an ‘okay’, he started walking.

when he came out of the bathroom after a few deep, calming breaths and a puff of his aspirator just in case, his clothes were freshly lint-rolled and perfect, his hair was combed and neat, and his teeth were nice and brushed. his fanny pack was around his waist, keeping him grounded and secure. he heard talking from the living room and walked into the doorway, his hands cupped at his front.

richie tozier turned to him, a wide grin on his face and his glasses askew. eddie let his eyes drift around the boy, taking in every detail he could in the three seconds he allowed himself to stare. richie had a grey shirt on, a white and navy blue hawaiian shirt draped over it. the fabric was loose on his skinny frame, and eddie noticed three cigarettes extended out of his pocket, making the small boy’s hands start to shake. his pants were black and tight, complimenting his long legs. and to top it all off, he had black and white slip-on vans over his green and purple socks. he didn’t match; but it suited him in a way eddie felt jealous of.

“like whatcha see?” the tall boy asked, making eddie blush in realization that he noticed the staring. before he could respond, myra spoke again, catching the asthmatic off guard. he had forgot she was in the room.

“richie, this is eddie,” she gestured towards him. “eddie, this is richie,” and back towards richie.

the glasses-clad boy grinned even harder, making eddie wonder if his face would split in half with the force of the grin. the smaller boy looked over to myra quickly, her giving him a smile and her eyes saying ‘this is normal, don’t be alarmed’. he stepped forward and stuck out his lanky arm, waiting for the small boy to shake it. he didn’t; he was afraid richie would think his hands were too rough (he forgot to apply lotion). “richie tozier.”

-

one week after richie introduced himself to eddie, the asthmatic was at myra’s house again, same as last weekend. “what did you get for number 6?” the girl asked, flipping her paper over and furrowing her eyebrows. she was across from eddie on her bed, both of them lying on their stomachs and going over their math homework.

“two,” eddie responded easily, writing something down on his paper. he then paused for a while, his hand hovering over his paper as he thought. “what do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. hope that richie would come over again. hope that they’d have another chance to all watch a movie together (he had sat on the ground the whole time, though, trying not to pay attention to the sound of their lips smacking together every once in a while and the bounce of richie’s leg on the carpet). he hadn’t got that close to richie yet, for he’d have to take a puff of his aspirator every time he thought about it; but with richie’s loud mouth and his easy-going attitude, it was slightly easier than he thought.

myra hummed, looking up at him briefly before turning the page in the blue textbook. “i was planning to have richie come over at around ten in the morning,” she spoke, seeming to think them over as they floated out of her mouth. “is that okay?” she blushed slightly, looking back up at eddie.

the small boy nodded, pulling his phone out quickly to set an alarm for nine in the morning. he told himself he’d need time to wake up, but he knew deep down that he really only did that because he wants to look good for the taller boy. “that sounds good,” he smiled, glancing at the time quickly. he stood up then, grabbing his fanny pack and snapping it around his waist again. “be right back, i gotta take my medicine.”

the second it turned nine o’clock the next morning, eddie’s phone was ringing and the sound was echoing through myra’s living room. the small boy groaned and rolled over, shutting off his alarm and rubbing at his eyes. when his mind got a chance to catch up and his first thought was richie, though, he was up and rushing to turn the shower on.

when richie opened the door an hour later, he was grinning and his nose was a different color, the cold, november air outside making his skin blush red.

“spaghetti!” he yelled, immediately taking interest in the asthmatic boy, much to his surprise. “i was hoping you’d be here again!”

eddie blushed deeply, water pooling behind his eyes due to embarrassment. “hi, richie,” he spoke softly, the name unfamiliar on his tongue as he scanned the room for myra (he hoped briefly that he’d get a chance for the name to finally become familiar flowing out of his mouth). “uh, myra will be here in a second, she went to-“

the taller boy cut him off quickly, wrapping his lanky arm around his shoulders. “no worries, short stack,” he started, not coming off offensive but more... fond; as if he’d known eddie since they were in sixth grade, too. “for i, the one and only richie tozier, would not mind hanging out with my favorite eds!” he finished off in a loud, almost ear-ringing, voice, grinning down at eddie, his ocean blue eyes gleaming.

before the brown-eyed boy could respond with a ‘don’t call me that’ and a soft shove, myra was walking through the doorway and richie’s arm was unwrapping itself from his shoulders, leaving him with a heart that had plunged down into his lower stomach. “i see you two have made friends with one another.” friends. all they would ever be.

to that, richie nodded, the grin still on his face. does he ever stop fucking grinning? “we have, haven’t we, spaghetti head?” the words seemed as if they came from another planet, for the sound of blood rushing behind his ears was too loud for the small boy to process what richie was saying.

he excused himself to go use the bathroom then, and when he got there, he realized he might as well have been losing his mind. “keep it together, kaspbrak,” he said to his reflection, swallowing down a lump in his throat. “it’s just richie,” the name was still unfamiliar, “just myra’s new, unsuccessful boyfriend, richie.”

when eddie finally got himself to come out of the bathroom and walk into the living room again, he was stopped dead in his tracks. myra’s pinky was looped around the taller boy’s and words were flowing out of his mouth beautifully.

“-i promise, okay? i’ll always be here for you,” and then he was moving his hand up and extending his thumb to kiss. “i never break a pinky promise.” if only eddie would have known those six words would be repeating through his head painfully for three years afterwards. richie looked like a totally different person when he was serious, eddie then realized. he felt anxiety creep up his body with the question ‘i wonder if i’ll ever be in myra’s spot’. he knew he’d probably have an asthma attack due to richie’s eyes alone.

-

“me and richie broke up,” is what eddie heard five days later coming through his cell phone speaker, the owner’s voice broken and rough. “i-i didn’t-”

“wait, wait, what happened?” the brown-eyed boy asked, more curious than sympathetic.

“he pinky promised me!” she wailed, ignoring his question and making eddie move the phone an inch or two from his ear. “he said he never breaks pinky promises, and he did!”

-

eddie stopped talking to myra after that. not because of any particular reason, but just simply because of the fact that whenever he looked at her, all he could think about was richie’s arm around him and richie’s pinky promise and richie’s beautiful, blue eyes. the two boys never swapped numbers, so eddie had to spend the rest of eighth grade wondering if richie was ever really his ‘friend’, or if he was only taking interest in the hypochondriac because of myra.

what he didn’t realize until three months later, though, was that richie actually never did break his pinky promise. he was still there for myra if she needed him, but eddie guesses he lost interest in being something more than acquaintances. richie was good with his words and eddie was destined to be wrapped around his finger sooner or later.