#if anyone ends up loving them plS COME TALK TO ME ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THAM

[i2sunric]

𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄 (l.hs)

pairing: gamer!heeseung x reader (f)

summary: heeseung neglects you just to play his stupid game, so you try to relieve your frustration by humping his pillow— how you ended up riding his dick, you’re not sure.

warnings: smut. masturbating, pillow humping, riding, dirty talking, pet names (baby, slut, whore), unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap up your willy!), creampie, breeding kink, kinda cnc at the ending, if more Imk. NOT PROOFREAD

published: 25th April 2024

wc: 1.9k

tag list: @jaeyunsbimbo @yorukoshii @omgbrohellnahmanwtf

a/n: guess who should be writing for the project but hasn’t even finished writing one scene? me! anyways, hope you’ll enjoy this gamer heeseung drabble and let me know your thoughts! REBLOG & LIKE PLS! maybe part 2?

When Heeseung and you first started hanging out, everyone started mistaking your friendship for dating. Or maybe, that was exactly what Heeseung wanted.

He was so possessive of you, always giving death stares to anyone who dared to land their eyes on your bare legs or exposed chest from your skirts and tops; spoiling you rotten, literally buying you anything you wanted without even having to ask.

But you were not less, getting jealous of anyone who approached him, even scaring girls away. You were as crazy as him.

It wasn’t something you two addressed verbally, just a mutual feeling. Perhaps it was attraction or something more, neither of you wanted to label it.

Something you would really love to verbalise, though, was the way Heeseung had been playing his stupid game for two straight hours without even glancing back at you from his chair.

You were sitting on his bed, legs crossed together as you absentmindedly scrolled through your socials— but even that had become boring. You sighed heavily and dropped your phone on the mattress, stretching your sore limbs.

“Hee?” You asked but was only met back with the sound of keyboard taps and a few shouts so loud you could hear them from the earphones your best friend was wearing.

“Heeseung.” You said again, this time a little louder, “Mh?” He asked, still not turning around to even glance at your face.

“Stop playing and spend some time with me.” You nagged, brows knitting in an annoyed frown “Just ten more minutes.” He murmured back.

“Now.” You crossed your arms at your chest “Come on Y/N, I’m almost done, damn.”

You waited for him to say something more, however he just resumed the battle, occasionally hissing but never shouting at the screen, knowing how much it bothered you.

Your eyes landed on his arms, bare from the sleeveless shirt he was wearing, the veins showing every time he taped a new button, hands so perfect as if they were shaped from a goddess.

You gulped, unconsciously rubbing your thighs together. It wasn’t the first time you had such weird fantasies about Heeseung, it was no lie he was drop dead gorgeous, though sometimes you wished he’d see you as more.

The way he treated you, the way he scared anyone who ever dared to breathe your same air— it just fuelled your filthy and contorted desires. However, when he played his games he always seemed to forget about you— which frustrated you a lot.

You palmed your breasts through the fabric of the loose shirt, your nipples hardening and poking, their outline showing. Your gaze fell on his clenched jaw, wondering if he’d have the same face while fucking you, filling you up with his load.

Impatient, you reached for his pillow, the one he usually put his head to sleep on, the thought turning you on even more and sat down on it, your clothed core stroking against it. You moved your hips back and forth at a sweet rhythm, letting out soft hums when your clit rubbing made you feel a warm feeling in your stomach.

You closed your eyes, imagined you were riding Heeseung’s face, his pointed nose poking your clit while his warm tongue fucked your cunt, burying himself deeper in between your thighs.

“Seriously?” Your actions were abruptly stopped by a deep groan, your eyes shot open and there Heeseung was, manspreading on the chair now turned around to face you, his gaze so dark and piercing.

“Acting like a fucking needy slut?” He chuckled bitterly, “You know my mic was on, right? Everyone heard you moaning.” He tsked mockingly.

Your hips kept moving, your head threw back “Just wanted your attention.” Your hoarse voice went straight to his cock, hardening against his grey sweats.

He glanced at you, his stare piercing. You looked straight out of his night fantasies, the way you were grinding on his pillow, your sweet scent intoxicating it. He removed his earphones and palmed his clothed hard on.

“Keep going.” He ordered and you complied, your mind too cloudy to leave space for shake. After all, that was what you both wanted the most “Show me how you’d ride my cock, baby.”

The pet name made your stomach fill with butterflies, you gripped the pillow and moved almost manically on it, the sound of the bed squeaking filling the room.

“Did you want everyone to hear you?” He asked, still palming his cock “Mh? Did you want all my friends to hear your moans?”

You shook your head “No,” You breathed out, slowing your movements “Only you.”

“Fuck,” He cursed, his cock twitching in his boxers “Raise your shirt, let me see your tits.”

You let out a soft hum and did as he asked, raising your shirt, hooking it under your chin to squeeze your breasts and show it to him “So perfect,” He almost dropped at the sight, “And so mine.” He growled.

“Heeseung—“ You panted, your eyes half lidded “Hee… m’so close.” Your movements were sloppy, signalling that your orgasm was about to hit you.

“Don’t cum,” He ordered, “Don’t fucking cum, stop.” and you stopped, your eyes red from your denied orgasm.

His eyes softened, your fucked up state was too much for him, your sweaty forhead and panting breath— Hell, he was going to ruin you.

“Come here.” He patted his laps and you nodded, getting up from the bed, stumbling a little as you reached him. You sat down on his laps, his big hands securing your waist.

“Isn’t this better?” He asked, making your body grind on his clothed bulge, your wetness seeping through the fabric “Fuck baby— you’re so wet.”

You let out a shaky breath, your eyes closing when his lips connected to your neck, leaving wet kisses “Do you want me to fuck you?” He whispered.

“Yes,” you breathed out “Yes Hee, please.” He smirked at your pleads and raised you up, just enough to pull down his sweats and boxers. His cock sprung free, red and so hard.

You widened your eyes, you had always known he’d be thick since the shadow of his bulge always appeared when he worked out or went to swim, but you had never imagined it’d be that huge.

“Like what you see, mh?” Heeseung smirked, his hand sneaking on the back of your head to fist your hair, making you look up at him “Answer me.”

Wetness pooled on your panties at his rough and dominant voice, you nodded “Yes.”

“Good girl,” He let go of your hair and helped you out of your own pants, leaving you only in your loose shirt and underwear.

His breath hitched, biting his bottom lip “You’re so perfect,” He raised your shirt, hooking it on itself so you wouldn’t have to keep it in your hand.

Heeseung inched closer and took your tit in his mouth, sucking and biting on your nipple. You breathed heavily, one hand caressing the little hair he had on the back of his neck, nails almost digging in it.

He detached from your breast and kissed his way up to your neck, licking and nibbling. He reached your lips and took them into a hungry kiss, so passionate. You moaned when you felt his fingers hook your panties to the side, the cold air of the room hitting your core, making it clench around nothing.

“So eager to be fucked dumb.” Heeseung growled, guiding you on his cock. You put your hands on his broad shoulders as you slowly went down, the mushroom tip of his cock pressing against your wet folds.

You hissed when the tip entered your pussy, stretching you so good. You were no virgin, but no guy you ever had sex with was as big as Heeseung,

He held your waist tightly, helping you until you were all down, bottoming out. He cursed under his breath, your warm cunt hugging his shaft so perfectly he could almost cum right there “Shit baby- you feel so good.”

He started guiding you up and down on his cock, not really leaving you any place to do what you wanted, using you as if you were a sex doll. And you honestly lived for it “H-Hee… S’good.”

His big hands wrapped around your waist and you hid your face on the crook of his neck, moaning out his name. You could smell the scent of his cologne, clouding any thought in your mind along with the pleasure he was giving you.

“You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting to fuck you.” He groaned, lifting your ass cheeks, gripping them so he’d leave his marks on you “To just claim you, fill you up with my cum, breed you.” Heeseung rumbled absentmindedly “You’d look so good with my cum dripping out of you.”

His dirty talking only made you clench around him more, the stretch almost painful but too good you begged him to go faster. And how could he say no to you? He grabbed your ass cheeks and held you in place while his hips jerked up, thrusting inside of you.

Soft hums and moans filled the room, you grasped his shoulders and dug your nails in his flesh, trying to steady yourself.

“Pussy made for me.” He rumbled, rutting inside of you at a fast pace “You’re so mine, right?— Fuck— You’ll let someone else fuck you like I do?”

In your blissful state you managed to shake your head “Only you Hee,” You moaned out “I want only you.”

Heeseung rewarded you with a spank on your ass, the mark of his fingertips red on the cheek “Say it again.”

You cried out in pleasure, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten “Mph— Just want you to fuck me.”

“Good fucking girl,” He groaned, rutting into you, hitting your cervix with every thrust “Heeseung.” You gasped, your nails leaving painful marks on his skin but he did not mind at all. In fact, he hoped you’d leave marks on all his back. “I know,” Heeseung said “Let’s cum together, just a little more.”

You let out a small sob, your eyes watery from the amount of pleasure you felt all at once, his cock made to thrust inside your pussy. His arms hugged you tightly against his chest, one hand squeezing your ass cheek “Fuck, Fuck,” He pated, his eyes squeezing.

“Gonna cum too baby- Gonna fill you up so good.” He let out a husky groan as his load shot inside of you, coating your walls as you came around his cock. It twitched inside of you, so much cum filling you up until you felt so full.

Heeseung loosened his grip a little, enough to let you move freely as you laid back a little, you both panting heavily, sticky with sweat.

Heeseung looked down at where your bodies connected, some cum dripping down from your pussy to his laps. You could feel him harden again inside of you which made your eyes widen. Was it even possible to get hard that quickly? Heeseung let out a deep chuckle.

He got up from the chair with you still in his arms and laid you down on your back on his bed. You watched him through confused eyes-

Heeseung dried the wetness under your eyes and whispered in your ear “Let me have you once more..”

“But—“ You shook your head, your body was tired and still shaken from the orgasm “I’ll be quick.” He rubbed his nose on your cheek, his figure hovering on yours.

“M’tired..” You murmured, your eyes closing. But Heeseung only let out another dark chuckle “You’ll take it, yeah?” He started pounding inside you, slow but deep

“You’ll take it like the good girl you are.” It wasn’t a question, but an order.

And you were too down for him to neglect him.

[miakate-writes]

Touch starved / comfort prompts :)

[a/n: if anyone has anyone prompts ideas or wants to see me write for any specific prompts (for any specific characters?) pls don’t hesitate to pop into my asks box :D and if you end up using any of my prompts pls tage me, i would love to read them!]

that big hug in the airport when character A comes home for a holiday. B runs into their arms and squeezes them so tight that A is thinking they might break a rib.

character B feeling character A’s hand on the small of their back while going through a crowd.

character A knows exactly when character B needs cuddles. long day at work? cuddles. didn’t get enough sleep? cuddles.

Character B is away on a trip (either with friends or for work) and Character A is laying awake in their empty bed. the only thing that can get A to sleep each night is a long phone call with their favourite person. telling B about their day calms them down enough for sleep. and they do it all again the next day.

“we don’t have to talk about yet it if you don’t want to. we can just lay here like this, just relax into my arms.” one whispers in the others ear.

Character A is worried about coming off as too clingy and first. Once Character B realised how much A thrives on physical touch, they make sure they set aside enough time each day to just hold them.

If they ever go to bed while in an argument Character B still wraps an arm around Character A, knowing that they won’t sleep without it and to let them know they still love them although they’re arguing.

[follow me on tiktok and instagram @/miakate.writes <3]

[pixiemunsons]

baby, baby, baby (sh)

steve's always discovering new things about himself, usually with your help

breeding kink!!! i can't state enough if this isn't ur thing click off because that's all it is. unprotected sex, p in v (f! reader), fingering, discussion of babies and breeding, hint of jancy, rough-ish sex, bit of misogyny surrounding birth control (reader goes on the pill.) one use of the word daddy during sex but not rly daddy kink. no use of y/n, no spoilers, no reader description. steve’s into cringy pet names i don’t make the rules (2.2k words)

a/n; a really lovely reader made it clear to me that some of my language wasn’t POC or plus size friendly. this absolutely wasn’t my intention and i’ve edited this language out to ensure that this is a fic for anyone, as intended. pls let me know if i do make any mistakes like this - being exclusive is absolutely not something i ever intend to be. thank you angels<3

it had started growing in him one day, and he hadn’t felt the end of it since.

a sort of weird, deep urge he felt in his bones, gnawing at him from the inside out and churning his brain and boiling his guts. if he hadn’t known better, he might have called it animalistic. neanderthal. his most base instinct. for months, he hadn’t been able to think about anything else. twisting his mind and driving him crazy.

steve harrington wanted to fuck you full of his babies.

you hadn’t even known you were doing it. how could you? you knew he wanted kids, and a lot of them, but it felt miles off in your mind. when he told you about you and the six kiddos and the camper van, you thought he meant five, maybe even ten years off. so you’d thought nothing of it when your friend liz had asked to come over for a coffee with her almost brand-new baby and you’d spent the afternoon playing with her in front of steve. 

he’d seemed a bit more tense than usual, and you thought maybe he was uncomfortable around the baby. you knew he had a relatively small, relatively disconnected family, and the last kid born was more than ten years ago, so he’d never really even been around infants. he seemed to be watching intently as you picked her up, smoothing her tufts of hair back and nuzzling your nose into her hair to absorb her uniquely baby smell. you’d never brought it up though, never thinking much of it. until it started happening more.

you’d see a toddler sticking their tongue out at the grocery store and stick yours back before steve would half drag you away by the arm. you’d mention your hairdresser’s imminent due date, and he’d find a way to change the topic. hell, you’d cooed over the baby in look who’s talking one time and he’d switched the channels, claiming he hated john travolta even though you’d watched saturday night fever with him at least four times. you were starting to get confused. the two of you had talked about kids; why was it becoming such a problem now?

───

‘i got on the pill, y’don’t have to bother with a condom.’

steve stopped stock still. in seven years, he’d never been able to go without. shitty blue state indiana had made contraception for unmarried women a fucking nightmare, and while he really wanted to marry you eventually, he wasn’t about to do it just so he could go raw. steve’d half-hoped he wouldn’t be able to until you were married; he didn’t know what he was capable of if you let him do that to you. but you’d sprung it on him. while you were naked under him and he was halfway to the bedside table, you’d laid a small hand on his arm and looked up at him with that expression on your face he loved so much and stuck out your bottom lip. he’d never said no to you before. how could he ever start now?

‘a-are you sure? y’know i don’t mind, sweetness, i’m happy to wear one.’ he was frowning now, deep lines etching the ordinarily soft skin of his forehead, and you reached a hand up to smooth out the creases.

‘kinda thought you’d be a bit more excited than this, honey.’ you were half-smiling, half-worried, head tilted as you observed steve. you’d known him for fifteen years, been dating him almost half as long. knew him like the back of your hand, knew when he was worried about something, when something was playing on his mind and he just couldn’t shrug it off. he shook his head vehemently, stroking your face with a shaky hand.

’s’not that, babe. i’m really excited, like, really excited. didn’t think we’d be able to do this until- well…’ he trailed off, leaning down to kiss your bare shoulder in a feeble attempt to hide his reddening face from your eyesight.

you sat up a little then, peering down at him. the pill wasn’t even something you’d thought much of until nancy had told you all about it, hush hush over a coffee.

‘it’s changed my life, honestly. everything’s more… regular, and well, you know…’ you’d raised your eyebrows at her to hasten her explanation and she’d blushed bright red and hidden behind her hair when she whispered ‘jonathan loves being able to, like… y’know, do it inside. everything’s so much better in the bedroom.’ 

you’d left your lunch date hot under the collar, and almost sprinted straight to your family doctor. the idea of being so intimate, so close to steve for the first time ever without having to worry about the consequences excited you.

‘until what, stevie? we can carry on using a condom if you w-‘ steve’s eyes shot open, shaking his head wildly until his hair bounced.

‘no! no, i just.’ he cleared his throat, itching the back of his neck nervously.

‘i’m worried if we do it without, i won’t be able to hold back. the idea of doing that to you, of cumming inside you… it makes me so hard i can’t think.’

his confession left your mouth open and mind whirring, thinking back to the last few months and the way he’d been acting around you and babies and all of a sudden, everything clicked.

‘stevie,’ you cooed, smirking at the expression on his face. ‘you wanna get me pregnant, don’t you?’

a guttural groan broke free from his throat and he lunged forward like a man possessed, capturing your lips with a ferocious heat that had you moaning into his mouth. large, rough hands gripped your stomach, your hips, and squeezed so tight you groaned. steve took his chance, tongue surging into your mouth and licking the top of your mouth, the back of your teeth. he pushed himself up so he was kneeling above you, manhandling you up so you were facing him, knees touching.

‘y’can’t say that to me, baby,’ he looked frantic, still kissing you between words. ‘god, you’re so… so fuckin’… h christ, can’t believe you said that.’ your mind was reeling, all consumed with the idea of it. 

‘i’d be lying if i said the thought of trying for a baby with you wasn’t on my mind recently, stevie.’ you looked up at him, eyelashes fluttering, and his fingers dug into your flesh so hard you were sure there’d be bruises the next morning. ‘when liz came over with the baby, y’have no idea how much i wished she was ours.’

steve was totally fucked.

he couldn’t get his breathing under control listening to talking about carrying his babies, and his head was swimming in pictures; you, lying on the beach in a bikini with a cute bump. lying on your front cautiously while steve rubbed your tired back muscles. tying your shoes for you ‘cuz you couldn’t reach over your swollen tummy. most of all though, he couldn’t stop imagining the sight of his cum seeping out from your pretty little pussy, your hips propped up on a pillow, hoping it’d take.

‘think we should?’ he spoke before he could even think about it, and he almost apologised. almost. because when he looked down at your face, instead of seeing shock or disgust, you were fucking smirking up at him. a manicured nail traced its way up through his chest hair, the other hand gripping the back of his neck, and steve felt lightheaded.

‘you gotta be off the pill at least a week before it stops working, you know.’ you cocked your head to the side. ‘doesn’t mean we can’t start practising though.’

steve helped you onto your knees so you were face down, ass up. his favourite, especially when he wanted to go a bit harder, a bit rougher, and the anticipation sent shivers down your spine. behind you, the bed shifted, and the distinctive sound of elastic cracking skin rang out from behind you as steve shed his boxers, the final (and only) barrier left between the two of you.

‘you want me to lube up, baby? i’d ask you to do it with your mouth, but i think i’d bust.’ you laughed together and he grabbed your left hand, intertwining your fingers. no matter what, steve never made you doubt how much he loved you, and small moments of intimacy like this always made you wanna cry every time.

‘just a bit, babe, ‘m ready for you,’ you whined your hips back into him, ass brushing his hairy thighs, and he groaned at the trail of slick you left against his hot skin. reaching into the drawer and, for the first time, straight past the open box of johnnies, steve grabbed the half-empty bottle of lube that lived there. you could hear him squirting it into his hand, slathering it all over his thick cock, all the while muttering away almost mindlessly.

‘you’re gonna be such a good mommy, honey, s’ good for me and our baby. so full of our children, so beautiful and round for me, gonna look after you. gonna be the most gorgeous little family, sweetness.’ he reached down, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

‘baby, i really need to just fuck you full,’ he whispered, and you looked over your shoulder at him. there was an almost feral gleam in his eyes, and you swallowed thickly. he pushed two long fingers into you, whining when he found you were already soaking wet and more than ready to take him. you keened your hips back again, pleading, pretty eyelashes fluttering.

‘take me, steve.’

he was up to the base by the time you’d taken a breath, heavy balls resting at the curve of your thighs and ass, and the sensation was like nothing either of you had known before. you could feel every ridge, every vein pumping through his cock, and he felt so warm in you it could have almost been too much. steve had never felt anything so hot, so tight, so unbelievably natural in his whole life, and he had to stop still as soon as he was balls deep lest he cum in seconds. 

‘oh fuck,’ he was groaning behind you, legs trapping the bottom half of your body to the bed in an attempt to stop you squirming. ‘this is- jesus christ, this is something else, baby.’ under him, you were desperately trying not to rock your hips back into steve’s. he was so heavy and hard inside you, twitching and leaking precum already and he hadn’t even moved, hadn’t even started to fill you up.

steve’s hips pulled back slowly, leaving just the head still wrapped in you, before plunging back in and starting up a brutal pace. his hands were gripping at your pelvis and your head was buried in the pillow at the head of your bed, fingers reaching behind you to intertwine with his own against the fat of your hips. he thrust particularly hard into one spot that had your mind reeling, almost screaming his name into the pillow and pulling forward from the pleasure of it all. steve chased you, the front of his thighs almost stuck to the back of yours with sweat. by now, he was barely even pulling out, just chasing his own thrusts deep within you as he panted above you, sloppy kisses pressed into the skin at the back of your neck. skilled fingers reached around to your clit, rubbing it in that way only steve ever managed to do it, and your legs felt like jelly under you. if it wasn’t for the way he pressed right up against your hips, you’d be on your front by now, crushed under his weight into the bed.

‘’m really, really close, baby, fuck. c’mon sweetness,’ he was rambling behind you, hips working even quicker to turn you to goo under him, melted into the mattress and taking what he gave you. you could feel it building deep in your stomach, and you just needed something else, something to push you over the edge-

‘cum for me, let’s make me a daddy,’ steve was crying out and you were cumming, thighs clenching and back arching, screams buried into the pillow and teeth clenched so hard your jaw popped. steve wasn’t long behind you; the way you gushed when you came, the vice-like grip on his leaking cock? it was all too much, and for the first time, steve harrington came inside the love of his life, hot and gasping and flashes of you with a baby bump running through his mind. carefully, gently, he pulled out, cock softening against his thigh and then growing half hard again. your pussy was swollen, his cum leaking out of your hole. unthinking, steve reached up to push it back in with two fingers, rubbing your ass with the other hand when you flinched away from the stimulation.

‘sorry, baby, just gotta make sure it takes.’

you rolled onto your back, and he couldn’t help but smile at the way you rolled your eyes at him.

‘told you stevie, gonna be at least a week until i’m all fertile and shit again.’

he flopped on top of you, grinning.

‘i guess we’re gonna have to practise over,’ a kiss to your cheek.

‘and over.’ your shoulder.

‘and over.’ your nose.

‘and over again.’ finally, your lips. ‘i love you.’

[goldenwilliamson]

strangers | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

a/n: longest fic yet. enjoy pls, i kind of love this. slight warning it does touch on the grief that one feels after a big breakup including (briefly) the awful physical symptoms of breakups. if that's sensitive for you i wish the best and advise that this might not be the fic for you x

summary: reader and leah are together for years before breaking up due to long distance. after a couple of years reader moves back to england and sees leah, and all the love comes flooding back. angsty, but fluffy.

word count: 3.3k

Your life changed when you were eighteen, not only because you signed for Arsenal, but you were in love for the first time in your life. From your early encounters with Leah, you could already feel yourself falling for her. You found her endlessly endearing, drawn in by her quiet confidence and warmth off the pitch, and her fiery commitment to every game she played.

Even though you were too scared to confess your feelings to anyone, you somehow found yourself one evening telling Leah how much you adored her. You told her about how you had felt a connection with her since the first time you met, and how it had only proved itself since then. And she reciprocated every single word of your rambling romantic confession.

From that night, you two were together for almost six years. For the most part, it was the best time of your life. You were playing at your dream club, with the perfect girlfriend, and you were happier than ever. Things always ran smoothly for you and Leah, it was just the way your personalities complimented each other. Conflict resolution came easy to you both, and you were able to talk to each other through anything that was troubling you.

For years it felt like you two were growing at the same pace, and that was why you were able to be together for so long. You both had the same visions for your future, and you had really planned on staying in London with Leah by your side for the rest of your life.

But that was all before you got the offer from Bayern Munich. You never imagined being away from Leah, and maybe you were naive in thinking long-distance would be easy for you guys. So you made the difficult decision to leave Arsenal, to leave London and Leah, and move to Germany.

After your move it became clear very quickly that proximity was important for you both. When your were living several countries away from each other, your connection which you thought was strong enough to withstand the world ending had started to be put to the test. You were talking and understanding each other less, and fighting more about stupid, trivial things. You saw a new, jealous side of Leah who would accuse you of spending too much time with new teammates, and not making time for her anymore. And you yourself were questioning Leah's attraction for you, as you couldn't feel that daily love and affection you'd been so accustomed to through the phone.

It all got to the point where you were struggling to even get yourself to training because you felt so drained by your inability to make things work with Leah. Your teammates at Bayern had noticed and had created a space where you felt safe enough to confide in them. After talking it through with some of your teammates who provided you with their objective opinions on the situation, you made the hardest choice of your life.

Leah's voiced was raised to the point where her it was almost breaking, "Six years Y/N, does all that mean nothing to you?"

"Leah, I will always love you. I just don't think as long as I'm in Germany we can be together. It's not good for us darling, we've been fighting more than ever, and I don't want to feel this resentment towards you... I don't want you to feel badly about me either," you had tried to explain, but it had come out much less clearly through your own tearful voice, punctuated with short breaths as you gasped for air.

"You can't do this Y/N. You can't give up on us," Leah had begged you, but you had remained firm in your decision and it was the last proper conversation the two of you had. Other than a couple of Champions League games where you avoided each other, and one brief trip back to London where you collected all your things from the apartment you shared, you hadn't seen Leah since.

The breakup was something you'd tried to forget, and even though it's been two years since then, you still often question whether or not you made the right decision that day. What stuck with you was the empty aching you felt every time a thought of her passed through your head. In spite of your best attempts to put it behind you and to move on, you will never forget how much love you felt for Leah, and how much grief and sadness you felt the instant you ended things.

Every week that has passed since then you have wondered what your life would be like if you and Leah had made the long-distance thing work. But now you were thinking about it even more because after a few seasons at Bayern, you were going back to play in the WSL.

When Man City approached you, your first instinct was that you absolutely could not go back to England. Because to you, England was Leah. Every memory of your time in England from when you moved at 18, to when you left at 23, is connected to Leah. As much as you loved your time in the country, you never thought you could go and live there again without her by your side. It just wouldn't feel right. However, after several meetings with your manager and calls with City, it became an offer you couldn't turn down.

At least you weren't going back to London, you thought. The distance between the capital and Manchester was just enough to feel like Leah wasn't completely within reach. Of course, it had been different once you were actually living back in England, playing with City, and having to face the reality that you and Leah would be on the same pitch again, but this time as virtual strangers.

You'd heard through the grapevine that over the last couple of years Leah had done her fair share of dating around, but you also were aware that she hadn't been in any serious relationship since you two broke up, and it was the same on your end. How were you supposed to move on when you still thought about your ex every day?

One night you were cooking dinner at your flat for yourself and Georgia Stanway, who had become a close friend of yours since her arrival at Bayern. You two had hung out a bit when you and Leah were still together, but even though Leah was one of Georgia's closest friends, she had never uttered her name around you or asked you anything about your relationship since she transfered to the German club. Not until you two were talking about how you felt about moving back to England and what it would be like playing for City, and you mentioned it first.

"It feels kind of wrong," you said honestly, "I still can't imagine not being an Arsenal player. And you know, being there without Leah."

Georgia looked at you sympathetically, "Do you miss her? I can't imagine how hard all that was for you both."

"I miss her every day, Georgia," you sighed, smiling just to ease the pain, "But I just have to keep telling myself it was the right decision, otherwise I think I'd just live in misery."

She gave you a hopeful smile, "I hope you two can work it out one day, even just as friends. I've never seen two people make each other so happy."

"Yeah I hope so too," you agreed, though the voice in your head told you that you could never make up with Leah after the way you ended things.

You had finally moved back to England after a tearful goodbye to your teammates at Bayern, but you knew it was for the best. Your first week in Manchester you were reminded of how much you loved living in England, mostly because of how different it was from where you grew up. Stepping outside always felt like stepping onto a film set. It was nice too, to catch up with old friends. It was already so much easier to organise trips into London to visit old teammates.

It was on a weekend that you were down in London, when you saw Leah for the first time. You should have known better, walking around St Albans, expecting that you wouldn't see anyone you knew. It wasn't a big enough city to get away with that.

It was still August and the League hadn't started yet, so you were free to make a trip down to London for the weekend to visit Caitlin and Katie, friends you had missed so much while you were living in Germany. You missed everything about Arsenal, but you knew there was no way you could go back there after the way things ended with Leah. It would be much too painful to even try to be friends after everything. There was too much history there that would have been impossible to set aside.

In the morning you had told Katie and Caitlin you would walk into town and buy some bread since they were out, and it was on your way home that you found yourself looking into the face of the person who you once loved more than anyone. It took a moment to register that she was actually there, getting closer as you kept walking.

"Oh my god," you said out loud, finding it extremely jarring to see her after all this time.

You both slowed to a stop in front of each other and Leah, who had always been the more talkative one, was left speechless. Looking at you her heart was both beating for you and breaking all over again.

After a few beats of silence you shook yourself out of your state of shock, "Hi, how are you?", you said.

"I feel like I'm dreaming," Leah said, finally smiling a little as she also moved away from the initial shock of seeing you again. The sound of her voice and the smile on her face brought you instant comfort. She looked different, in the best way. She looked older, which surprised you since she always had such a baby face. But now she looked mature, she looked her age, somehow so different from the 24 year old version of her you last knew.

"Me too," you agreed, laughing slightly at how awkward you were finding this to be. You'd imagined this moment endlessly over the last couple of years, but now that it was really happening you were at a loss.

"What are you doing here?" Leah shook her head, trying to make sense of seeing you.

"I'm staying with Katie and Caitlin for a couple of days," you explained.

"Oh, they didn't mention anything," Leah said, though she knows that people avoid talking about you around her. They know it's still painful for her to hear your name. Just like how Georgia never mentioned her around you.

You realised then that your transfer hadn't been announced yet by the City, and that Leah must know nothing of the news.

"You probably haven't heard, but I've actually moved back here," you say tentatively, knowing that the only reason you two weren't together was because you were living apart. But now you were closer than you had been in two years, and you had no clue what that meant, or if it had the power to change anything.

"What, to London?" Leah said quickly, her voice raising an octave in shock.

"No, I'm up North now. I've actually signed for City," you explain.

"Wow," she says, nodding her head and processing the news. The way she is looking at you doesn't give much away. Her face actually looks quite blank, as if she doesn't know at all how to feel about this.

"Yeah," you say quietly.

"Sky blue will suit you," she says simply and you smile, grateful for the playful comment.

"I don't know, I'm still struggling with the fact I'm not going to be back in red," you say, more meaning held in those words than you intended. Because not being back in red also for you meant not being back with Leah.

"I expected you to stay in Germany for a lot longer," Leah says and the feelings of guilt rush in. You'd thought about this a lot when you decided to come back to England.

The main reason you had called it quits with Leah was because you thought Germany was going to be your home for at least another five years. You couldn't do that many more years of distance, of short phone calls, of fighting and miscommunication. But of course you never thought after just a couple of years you would be coming back to England. And if you had, you might have been able to stick things out with Leah.

"I really did too," you say sincerely, hoping that she knows you wouldn't have done what you did if you knew you'd be back so soon.

Leah runs her hand roughly through her hair, and you can almost see the cogs turning in her head through the look in her eyes.

"This changes things then, doesn't it?" She asks, voicing the thoughts floating around both your minds.

"I suppose it does," you nod imperceptibly, afraid to admit it.

You stand in silence now, looking at each other trying to work out exactly what this changes.

"I miss you so much," Leah says, her voice thin and wavering.

"I know. I've felt sick without you," you say, voicing things you'd never voiced to anyone. You have genuinely experienced the most physical forms of grief for Leah. The first few months after the breakup you were nauseous everyday, throwing up even when your stomach was completely empty. It just felt impossible to go on without her.

Leah just nods, having been through the exact same things.

"I'm so sorry," you say finally taking the opportunity to apologise for the thing that you've felt so much guilt and remorse about.

"It's okay," Leah assures you, but you shake your head instantly.

"It's not, I don't know what I was thinking Leah," you say honestly, feeling the emotions all over again. Your eyes well up and Leah is quick to embrace you, allowing you to let it out in her arms.

"You were right about everything but," she says, "Things weren't working."

"Yeah, but I should've tried to work through it," you voice the things you'd been thinking over for the last two years, trying to compose yourself with deep breaths.

"I wasn't making it easy for you, I was so hard on you. I feel really bad about the way I treated you when you left," Leah reflects on her own behaviour.

"It's okay," you tell her now.

You stand in the middle of the footpath in St Albans, holding each other, both unable to believe that this was real.

"You don't absolutely hate me do you? Because I'd understand if you did," you say, stepping back to look at Leah, trying to ease some of the tension.

She laughs, "I tried hating you," she says, "But that lasted about a minute and then I just went on trying to love you less."

"And how did that go?" You ask hopefully.

"Yeah not very good," she says.

"I couldn't really get the hang of not loving you either," you say.

Leah is smiling, but you can see the reservation in her eyes. She knows that everything has suddenly changed, but still, nothing is the same as it once was. You feel it too.

"What do we do now?" She asks.

You shrug your shoulders, "I've got to deliver this bread back to Katie and Caitlin, do you want to come?"

"I'll come," she nods, "But what happens after that?" Leah says.

"After that," you sigh, "We are about two years overdue in catching up on each others lives, so I'd say we'll have a nice long chat."

You are stepping forward now, beginning the journey back to Katie and Caitlin's, and Leah is by your side.

"Best start now then," Leah says, and the two of you fall deep into conversation immediately. It warms you heart how at home you feel, even after all this time.

When you knock on the door back at the girls flat, Katie answers with a look of absolute shock on her face.

"What are you doin here!?" She looks right at Leah, as if she was an intruder.

"Well I bumped into this one in town and she invited me over, is that alright?" Leah explains.

Katie takes a moment to process the words before nodding and stepping back to let you both inside.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" Caitlin echoes when you all walk into the living room together.

"We've just bumped into each other," you say, "I thought I'd drop off the bread before Leah and I go and catch up."

"Cool, cool," Caitlin says, trying to mask her shock while Katie looks on, stunned into a very uncharacteristic silence.

"God, you two look like you've seen a ghost," Leah says.

"I feel like I have!" Katie stresses, and you feel the exact same way.

"Alright, let's go down the park," you suggest to Leah, a place where you two used to walk around in circles, chatting for hours. It seems like the perfect place to go.

"Perfect," she nods, "Bye you two," she looks between her teammates.

"See ya, have fun," Caitlin says.

"Don't kill each other," Katie says and you scoff.

"We won't," you roll your eyes.

You and Leah step out the front door you share a moment of laughter about the interaction.

"Did I hide my shock better than those two when I saw you?" You ask.

"Absolutely not, I believe your words were oh my god," Leah laughs.

You two end up at the park, walking around at first, talking about how you are going to be playing for City now and your time at Bayern. Leah gives you the big run down on what's been happening at Arsenal since you've left, telling you about all the new players. It's like seeing an old friend, and you're just so glad that she hasn't spent two years hating you.

After what must be over an hour, you two sit at a bench. Same one you would always find together on your morning walks.

It's weird being so physically close to her again. You want to reach out and hold her forever, but you think it might be too soon. Leah feels the same though and she shows it in the way her hand reaches out to find yours.

"Can I be honest with you?" She asks.

"Of course you can," you say with a squeeze of her hand.

"I haven't felt this..." she pauses trying to find the word, "Happy? Peaceful? I don't think there is a right word to tell you how right this feels to be with you again," she says, healing all the cracks in your broken heart.

"It feels the same as I remember it feeling," you say in agreement, "Like this is just how it's supposed to be."

"Would it be absolutely crazy of us to try to pick up where we left off?" Leah suggests.

"People will definitely think we're crazy, but I don't have a problem with that," you say.

"Is this really what you want?" Leah asks, using her free hand to gesture between you both.

"Yes," you say without missing a single beat, "I don't want to ever go without this again."

"Good. We're on the same page then," she nods finally.

Not wanting to wait any longer you ask her a question you've been dying to ask, "Can I kiss you, please?"

Without even a word Leah just smiles, leaning in to kiss you. Somehow it's a goodbye kiss, and a hello kiss, an I missed you kiss, and an I'm sorry kiss. It's everything you wish you could've said to each other in once simple gesture.

"I haven't stopped loving you for a minute, I hope you know that," you say quietly, as you pull apart.

Leah smiles, looking at you with all the love in the world, "I've spent years dreaming that one day we'd see each other again and you'd say that."

"In my dreams, you say it back," you joke.

"Sorry," Leah shakes her head, "I love you."

[adams-angels]

I want to see my man in pain, Adam break down after reader said they want to break up (fluff in the end pls) 😞

I reaaaally enjoyed writing this

I love pain 🥹

💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖

Used

Adam POV

It was a normal night. Out talking to some babes. Tellin' them how great I am. Because, well, I AM! HA! I'm the first fucking man! These bitches swarm me. Who am I to deny them. I check my phone a see y/n has text me. "Ugh, what do you want now you needy fuckin'" I can't believe what I'm reading.

"we're done."

My heart sinks. Why is it sinking. I don't care. I'm fucking ADAM!! Adam stands, pushing away the crowd of angels surrounding him and tries calling you. "Come on.. come on, pick up, you dumb bitch." No answer. NO FUCKING ANSWER. His head spins. Panic sets in as. This isn't happening. Not again.

You think you're better than me?! You're nothing! I'm Adam!! I can get ANYONE I FUCKING WANT YOU THINK I NEED YOU?!

I'VE GOT TONS OF BITCHES WAITING FOR ME!

I DONT NEED YOU I NEVER NEEDED YOU!

He tries calling you again. No answer. "FUCK!" He expands his wings and shoots up, smashing through the skylight. He continues to text and call as he makes his away to your apartment. "FUCKING ANSWER ME!" He screams into his phone. By the time he arrives at your apartment he calms himself down, "I can get them back." He thinks to himself as he lands on your balcony. "They didn't mean it. They couldn't of."

As he reaches for the handle of the sliding door his hand shakes. "No, no, no, no." He grips onto his wrist stepping back from the door, being stopped my the railing. He slides down to the floor. "No, no, no...." His voice cracks, fear, sadness, anger. He never let himself get close. At least that's what he told himself. After the second wife also betrayed him he swore he'd never care so he would never hurt. But somewhere along the way, he fell for you. Although he denied himself.

He rushed to remove his mask, feeling like he can't breathe. Once he got it off he threw it aside. Clutching at his chest as tears escaped from his eyes. "No, no, no.." he whimpered. He sat on the floor for an hour. Thinking about you. What he did wrong. If he did something terrible. Why you're ending it. There wasn't even anything to end and yet his world felt like it was crashing around him.

Once he calmed down he leaned forward and sighed. Wiping his cheeks as he stood up and put his mask back on. He reached for the handle, hesitating before opening the sliding door. He sees you in your bed, asleep. He closed the door quietly and just watched you. For about half an hour before he realised how much a creep he's being. He walked into your livingroom. He's been here plenty times before. He memorized the layout.

He walks over to one of your succulents. You loved them. Once he came over and accidentally knocked one on the floor. You were so upset. He didn't see the big deal but he still went out of his way to buy you a new pot for it and a new succulent altogether. Just something to say he was sorry without actually saying sorry. He smiled as he remembered your joy. He sat on the couch and waited.

A couple hours later he heard rustling in your room. He shot up from the couch and heading to your bedroom, freezing at the doorway as he sees you wake. You scream in surprise, falling off your bed. He noticed your phone falling off the nightstand with you. His chest tightens. Your phone. Those horrible texts. "Adam?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!" You yell at him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

He stands there, feeling awkward. "You want to leave me?" He asked, trying hard to not break his voice. You tut, he watches at you stand, wanting to help but to afraid to move. "You say that like you cared." You snap, picking your phone up from the floor. "Don't look at that." He took a step towards you, reaching out but you recoiled. "Why? You next me nasty shit? Telling me I'm worthless? That I was lucky to -" he interrupted, "y/n, I'm sorry. I just want to know what I did wrong."

Adam braces himself. For you to yell. For you to scream. For you to tell him you love someone else. "I just... I can't... I don't want to be a place holder for you." His shoulders slump down he hesitantly steps closer to you "What are you talking about?" He carefully slides his hand under yours "I don't want to be someone you just use until you find someone better." His fingers interlace with your as his other hand brushes your hair from you face. His breath catches seeing your red, watery eyes "I just want to be... I don't know, Adam."

His hand cups your face. He looks into your eyes and for the first time in eons he chose to be vulnerable. "Be mine?" He watches you shrug. Rightfully assuming you've misunderstood his request he clarifies "no, I'm asking. Be mine." The way you look at him makes his chest tighten in fear. "What?" He recoiled. "I mean, maybe we could start again? Like.. properly?"

"You mean like.. date? What happened to "I don't date. I'm the first man. I have the first penis ever bla bla!"" He glares at you. Of course you'd remember that. "I don't sound like that." "You do." Adam brow furrows in in frustration. "Whatever, y/n, please. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me." He felt pathetic. He was pathetic. "I'll have to think about it." His chest tightened. His heart beating a million miles a minute. You'd see how pale he would be if he wasn't wearing the mask. "H-how long will that take?" He asked, desperation leaking out of him.

"I don't know, Adam." You shrug. The air was thick. He was struggling to breath and needed to get out of there. "I really care about you, y/n. You have to believe me, babe." He kisses your hand before releasing it. "Just.. uh... Delete those texts. I didn't mean any of it." He heads to the sliding door he entered from, opening it and expanding his wings as he jumps off. He looks behind to see if you watched leave like you've done so maybe times before. But you're not there.

It's been a month. A whole month. It should feel like nothing to him considering how long he's been in existence yet it feels like a years. He sees you about. With your friends. Getting groceries. Whenever his eyes catch on to you he freezes. No matter what he's doing.

He can't keep this up. He didn't want to pressure you. Make you feel like you had to choose him. But fuck he needed you to choose him. He was in his office. But he couldn't focus. He was so tired, not being able to sleep well without you. Even if he didn't sleep the whole night it was always nice knowing you were there no matter what. At least that's what he used to think.

He checked his phone to see nothing from you. It was too much. He was alone. You were never coming back. No one ever comes back. Lilith left him. Eve left him. Now you. "Fuck. FUCK!" He picks up his coffee and punts it at the wall. He can't stay here. He needs to find you. He needs you back.

He swung the door open and there you were. He couldn't believe it. He thought you'd at least text him. Not show up at his office! His feathers were literally ruffled, his office looks like a bombs hit it. "Y/n?" He said softly, it was like time stopped for a minute. He wish it did. Then he could scoop you in his arms and never let you leave. He snapped back into reality changing his expression quickly, not want anyone to see a softer side to him. "Come in." He stands aside letting you in to his office. He hates that you didn't text. He would of cleaned up there were documents everywhere, a smashed mug on the floor and coffee stains on the wall. He hated it was such a mess for you. "Bad day?" You commented he grumbled in response. "There are no bad days in heaven." He mumbled as he slumps down on his office chair.

Resting his chin on the back of his hand as he watches you walk over to his office window, opening it. The musky smell almost dissipating immediately "So... I thought about it." He perks up, sitting straight, watching you like a hawk. "And?"

"and I'm willing to start again. Properly." He immediately bolts from his chair, wrapping his arms around you. "Fuck, thank fucking Christ. Don't do that to me again. Please." His voice breaks, wings surrounded the both of you. "Please, I'm sorry. I'll treat you so much better." "Promise?" "Yes, promise."

～⁠♡✧⁠｡ I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! ｡✧⁠♡～⁠

[jnnul]

ready for love

PAIRING ▸ lee jeno x fem!reader (ft. tbz's juyeon)

GENRES ▸ fluff, non!idol au, college au, slice of life, friends to lovers but also...it’s complicated?

WARNINGS ▸ uhh swearing, drinking (but legally), mentions of infidelity, there was supposed to be so much more but it just turned into a fluff piece sooo..., y/n is indecisive and jeno is stupid, they're a match made in heaven 🫶🏽, jeno is the loverboy of the century towards the end, they make out and a few allusions to sex but no graphics, is it just me or is that header really blurry

SUMMARY ▸ a boy who has never taken a relationship seriously. a girl who is seriously over relationships. when they end up finding each other, will they let their ideas of what a relationship should be like ruin their relationship before it even starts?

PLAYLIST ▸ ready for love - blackpink, lovin’ me - fifty fifty, siren - taeyeon, island - youha, hate that - key & taeyeon

WORD COUNT ▸ 19.5k words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ oh hey it's that one fic i've been writing since july! which reminds me - if that ending looks familiar, it's because technically, this was supposed to come out right after that timestamp did oops.

as always, feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

far too easy. a couple of lingering stares. a coincidental request on social media. a few well-placed messages. one date later and...done. he was in. hook, line, and sinker.

it was almost getting predictable. at first, lee jeno just wanted to have a little fun. it was never anything serious - and it definitely wasn't always about sex. truly. as distrustful as men had made themselves out to be within the past few thousands of years, jeno truly wasn't thinking with his dick when he got into relationships.

it was just about having fun. he just wanted to get to know people, do sohing romantic just for the experience, and maybe, get to know their body if the relationship felt so inclined.

there was never any delusion about what a relationship with jeno was like. it was two months, if you lasted that long, and every second of it made you feel alive like you never had before. but the honeymoon stage would pass and jeno would lose interest and soon, there would be a heartbroken girl left behind, even though she knew exactly what she was getting herself into.

and it wasn't as though they could really get mad at him. he was a sweetheart through and through and he would continue to say hi if they ever saw each other around and he had definitely saved a couple exes from some ugly encounters. jeno never meant to hurt anyone; it just happened soimes because he was such a good guy.

at least, that’s what you understood of your best friend. from his nights of drunken confessions and the few encounters you’d had with his ‘girlfriends’, you had surmised that jeno lee was just meant to be a serial casual dater.

you, quite frankly, were on the opposite end of the spectrum. after a few too many boyfriends who had turned out to be grade a douchebags, you had effectively sworn off men.

dating was just far too hard. the 'did he notice me?' stage where you dress up a little prettier than normal. and then the internal panic when they request you on instagram. the casual talking stage where you've already accidentally planned out the wedding. the date where you choose to move past all of the blatant red flags you see. and then the relationship, when the red flags become red banners the size of antarctica because goddamnit, how did you miss the fact that this man was a literal freudian case study.

so whenever jeno would introduce his newest girlfriend or go on about his many adventures (including the details about the not-so-family-friendly aspects), you couldn't help but feel a little pang of jealousy because where the hell was jeno finding such amazing relationships? and why the hell isn't he taking them seriously?

you're sure you couldn't even count the number of sweet girls you knew would've been perfect to take home to his mother you had been introduced to before they were gone the next week.

"and that's why i think you're an insufferable brat," you grumble, pointing a stick of celery at him threateningly. jeno snorts slightly, redirecting your celery to the hummus sitting next to where you were perched on his kitchen counter.

"you've been saying that for as long as we've been friends," he says, pouring a spoonful of soy sauce into the rice for the fried rice he was preparing for dinner.

"three years too many," you say, squinting your eyes at him suspiciously. "how have we actually stayed friends for three years when you're so...wishy-washy?"

jeno's roommate, na jaemin, rubs his eyes as he stumbles into the kitchen, saluting you sarcastically as he reaches into the fridge to grab an entire bowl of strawberries.

"what a burn, y/n. wishy-washy. yeah, i'll bet that really did a number on him, didn't it, jeno my boy?" jaemin snorts, pouting when he quite nearly drops the bowl of strawberries on his foot.

he also very nearly escapes decapitation by celery stick, ducking from your brutal aim.

"at least i don't have a mommy kink," you snide, salvaging what was left of your celery snack.

jaemin jabs a strawberry in your general direction with a look of indignant betrayal on his face.

"i thought we agreed to never speak of what was revealed during balkan night," jaemin hissed. "you promised, y/n!"

"i was crossing my fingers," you shrug, placating your best friend with an olive branch of a silly smile when he swears vengence by strawberry assault a second time.

"whatever," jaemin grumbles as he slinks back to the darkness of his room. jeno just shakes his head fondly, tossing in the vegetables the two of you had just chopped up into the fried rice.

"why do you always feel the need to rag on him like that?" jeno says, mixing the vegetables into the rice.

"why do you always feel the need to avoid taking a relationship seriously?" you counter, hopping down from your perch to throw out the now empty hummus container.

"you know, anyone hearing this conversation right now would think that you were the one not taking relationships not seriously instead of me," he says calmly, taking a spoonful of rice. he blows on it before reaching out to you, letting you taste-test the fried rice. you hum, sifting through the ingredients in the fridge as you analyze what the missing ingredient was. your eyes land on a small plastic container with finely chopped garlic inside, the realization clicking in your head.

"just because i'm a little youthful and you have the personality of a grandpa doesn't mean that you have to be the one who takes relationships too seriously," you say, sprinkling the garlic into the fried rice. jeno hands you the wooden spatula and lets you take over the cooking process as he finds three bowls for the three of you.

"whatever helps you sleep at night," jeno says with a soft chuckle.

"speaking of relationships though, i'm not going to be leeching off of you for dinner tonight," you say casually, offering a spoonful to jeno this time to let him taste your shared creation.

he flashes you a happy eye smile, retreating into the hallway to call jaemin out of his room for lunch.

"date?" jeno says, a strange look in his eye as he hands you your spoon (you had a preference for only eating with the singular small spoon in the entire apartment for some reason) with a knowing smile.

"somewhat? it's a double date but i'm only going for jimin because she really really likes the guy and she's afraid she's going to fuck it up if it's just the two of them," you explain, giving him a thumbs up for the successful food collaboration.

"do you know who it's with?" jaemin pipes up, seemingly refreshed after consuming an inhumane amount of strawberries.

you furrow your eyebrows, trying to recollect the name of the guy jimin mentioned that jaehyun was bringing before shaking your head.

"i think his name was jayeon? yeonju? juyeon? i don't know, i don't really remember. all i know is that jaehyun better be head over fucking heels for jimin by the end of the night," you say in between bites.

"juyeon? lee juyeon?" jaemin says suddenly, his spoon clattering as he drops it in his bowl. jeno and jaemin exchange a look that you don't miss and you definitely don't like.

"am i missing sohing here? do you guys know him?" you ask, the worry lines on your forehead having become near permanent. jeno shrugs, pushing his food around in an uncharacteristically hesitant manner.

"i mean i just heard that he was a bit of a heartbreaker when he was in college but i don't really think that it was that big of a deal," jaemin says finally. you roll your eyes, puffing out your chest sarcastically.

"i'm a big girl guys, don't worry. i can handle myself," you say, patting jeno's shoulder comfortingly as you move to wash your bowl. "and besides, i'm not actually going there to find the love of my life; i'm just going there to support jimin."

"just be careful, y/n." jeno gives you a quick little side-hug before disappearing into the living room to turn on some tv. you turn to jaemin but your question dies on your tongue when you see that jaemin is already staring at you with an unreadable expression.

"what's up with him?" you ask, when jaemin sighs, getting up to wash his dishes.

"jeno's worried for you," he says. you huff, watching jaemin put his washed bowl into the dishwasher.

"i get that, dipshit. what i don't get is why!" you exclaim, wincing when you realize that you're much louder than you had intended.

"because juyeon's just like jeno."

it's all jaemin says but it's all he needs to say because now, you finally understand.

+++

"now remember, i'm only coming with you for you, okay? if you ever want to just be with jaehyun by yourself, let me know and i'll be more than happy to head on my way out," you whisper to jimin as you flash a bright smile at jaehyun, who approaches the both of you with a dimpled smile as he tucks his car keys into his pocket.

"y/n! it's so good to see you after so long," jaehyun says, pulling you in for a friendly side hug.

"i know," you say, squeezing quickly before letting go. "can you believe it's already been a month since renjun's party?"

jaehyun furrows his eyebrows, shuffling so that he was standing next to jimin. "no, really? has it already been a month?"

he doesn't wait for you to answer, turning to jimin almost immediately. "it's been a month since i met you? why does it feel like i've known you my entire life?"

it takes all you have to turn to the side before fake gagging, unable to help the cringe that runs through your body from the cheesiness, jimin fighting back a giggle, but you can see that her cheeks are bright red.

"jae, for your sake and the beautiful ladies', i'm gonna have to pretend like you never said that," a deep voice says from behind you. the man steps into the light and you're sure that your eyes are about to fall out of their socket.

juyeon is one of the most attractive men you've ever seen. long, long legs that lead up to broad shoulders, beautiful eyes and lips that would make kylie jenner jealous. his dark hair is slicked back and he holds himself with a humble, quiet confidence that makes you ready to fall to your knees instantly. he turns to you and his cool demeanor is instantly broken when he smiles, his face glowing in the faint lights of the restaurant.

"hi, i'm juyeon," he says, sticking his hand out for you to shake. you stare at it for a moment before taking it.

"y/n. it's nice to meet you," you say dreamily, before coming to your senses and retracting your hand. you were here for jimin and jimin only. juyeon and his beautiful face would have to stay in the friend zone - especially if what jaemin had warned you about was true.

but just because you couldn't purchase doesn't mean you couldn't window shop.

"y/n," juyeon drawls, letting your name roll off of his tongue. "a pretty name for a pretty girl."

jimin can barely stifle a giggle at your dazed expression, elbowing you in the rib cage. you shake your head slightly, composing yourself once more. how in hell were you supposed to confine this man to the friend zone if everything he said threatened your very sanity?

"well, they say that you should never keep a pretty woman waiting," you say with coy smile, gesturing towards the restaurant. "shall we head inside?"

juyeon mock-bows while jaehyun opens the door and says, "ladies first."

you blow juyeon a kiss with a teasing smile, linking arms with jimin and sauntering into the restaurant. juvenile? perhaps. but where was the fun in being adult all the time?

the four of you make your way to where there's a receptionist standing behind a booth, jaehyun stating his name for the reservation.

"right this way, ladies and gentlemen," the receptionist says, gathering a handful of menus and leading you to your table.

"so jaehyun tells me you are a business major," juyeon says, falling in step beside you. you hum, shaking your head slightly.

"i was a business major; i double majored in finance and economics, but i graduated two months ago," you explain, thanking the waiter as you take your seat at the table. juyeon takes the seat next to you and jimin takes the seat on the other side so that you were sat directly across from jaehyun.

you're about to turn to jimin and say something only to find her enraptured by some fascinating conversation that her and jaehyun seemed to be having, turning back with a knowing smile.

"i'm sorry, i was under the impression that you were still in school since it's only march," juyeon says, handing you one of the menus the waiter had left on the table.

"i graduated early because of the overlap between my majors. i was required to keep up my grades for my scholarship anyway so i was able to build up credits fairly quickly," you explain, trying to ignore the spark of electricity that you feel when juyeon's fingers linger on yours.

"oh, so you were quite the academic," he says, running a hand through his hair. you determinedly stare at the menu, forcing down the hot flash that runs through your body when juyeon catches you watching.

"you could say so," you nod, scanning the menu. "how about you? what did you major in when you were in school?"

"i was your direct senior," juyeon begins, smiling when he sees the confusion on your face. "i was a finance major in college."

"no way! that's so interesting. where do you work now?" you ask once you put down the menu to meet his eyes. maybe jaemin and jeno were just being overprotective? it wouldn't be the first time they steered you away from heartbreak but juyeon seemed like such a sweet and genuine guy.

because juyeon's just like jeno.

that statement is enough to bring you back to your senses as you focus on what juyeon is saying, jimin and jaehyun still debating the difference between computer engineering and computer science (their respective majors) and which one was better.

nerds.

"i was at amazon up until last summer but i recently switched to a new company. it's a pretty small company but they specialize in cleaning the ocean of plastic and recycling the plastic for 3D printing. it's very niche but i didn't want to just be another finance bro that just worked for the sake of money, you know? i wanted to work with a good consciousness."

maybe curving juyeon from claiming a place in your already fragile heart would be a little more difficult than you expected. kind, environmentally aware and a chose ethical work? juyeon was already better than approximately 90% of your exes.

"how about you? have you started working yet? the market is pretty brutal for freshly graduated f&e people, from what my friends tell me." you nod, internally composing yourself and steeling yourself a little bit more to keep from falling into juyeon's charms.

just like jeno. the reminder is harsh, but it works like magic as you feel the butterflies in your stomach beginning to dissapate.

"it certainly is a lot more competitive than i think a lot of people anticipated. thankfully, i was able to connect to a sponsor during one of the scholarship banquets and was offered a position for right after school," you explained and juyeon's eyes turn from mild and observing to full of respect as he nods, almost approvingly.

"which company?" he asks, taking a sip of his water.

"i actually am working in the finance department at patagonia..."

+++

the night progresses almost too smoothly. once the food had come out, jaehyun and jimin finally seemed to come out of the bubble they were in and the conversation flowed so well, it was almost as though the four of you had known each other for years.

it was clear that jaehyun and juyeon were close, having met each other at work and instantly clicking. the easy back and forth between them allowed you and jimin relax a little more, allowing the conversation to turn to less formal subjects.

you find out that juyeon has a dog, much to your dismay.

"y/n loves dogs!" jimin exclaims, and you can feel your heart's walls crack a little further. there were many things you could handle - a cute boy with a dog? that was a little out of the realm of control.

"really? oh you'd love ray then - he's a big dog but he's got a lot of love. sort of a gentle giant," juyeon says, his eyes twinkling as he pulls out his phone to show you his wallpaper. it's a picture of him and ray curled up next to each other, sleeping in bed, both of them in the same exact position as they snored away.

"i swear, him and ray are the same soul in two different bodies. i've seen this guy have full on conversations with his dog. which would be weird but it kinda just works for them somehow. i kinda think that ray genuinely does understand juyeon," jaehyun snorts, nodding at juyeon's wallpaper. "that was when ray was still a puppy and he would copy every single thing that juyeon did."

juyeon shrugs, smiling as he tucks his phone back into his pocket. "not much has changed there, if i'm being honest."

you're about to say something about meeting ray when your phone rings abruptly, rudely interrupting the conversation. you frown as you flip your phone open, looking at the contact profile on the screen. jeno?

"hello?" you say as you answer the phone, pointing to the restroom as you excuse yourself from the table. from the corner of your eye, you can see the waiter coming with the bill for your table and you vaguely register the fact that only two cards are being put on the table (jaehyun's and juyeon's) as you make your way somewhere a little more private.

"hellooo? y/nnnn-ie? you stilllll at your, huh, date?" jeno slurs into your phone and you hear someone in the background, presumably jaemin, trying to convince jeno to stop himself from saying or doing something stupid.

"yes, jeno, i'm still at my date. that you interrupted, by the way," you say with a frustrated sigh. you check your watch and realize that it's only 9:30 PM and jeno does not sound like he's been taking it easy on the alcohol. "why are you drinking jen?"

"whattttt, so now i'm a shitty lover and i can't, heh, drink?" jeno grumbles into the phone and it's clear from the sudden silence in the background that jaemin has completely giving up on wrestling jeno's phone out of his hand. you had firsthand experience with drunk jeno - he turned into the hulk.

"jen, if you called me in the middle of my date to go off the rails about how you're a lonely fucker, i'm going to kill you," you hiss, smiling at the lady who comes into the restroom as you weren't threatening your best friend with murder.

"I'M NOT A LONELY FUCKER!"

oh, so this part jeno could say without hiccuping or slurring his words. fantastic. you sigh, switching your phone to the other ear as you wash your hands, getting ready to leave the restroom. there's a pregnant pause where no one says anything but you can hear the top gun theme song in the background so you know jeno's on the line.

"if - if i change, will you not go out with juyeon?" jeno mutters finally, just as you're leaving the restroom. "if i finally start getting serious about relationships, will you not go out with him? will you come home?"

you pause at that. jeno's always been the protective type. for all of his own playboy (even if technically he wasn't trying to be a playboy) charm, jeno genuinely wasn't very happy when you dated people. he wouldn't be rude to them and he certainly would never force you to break up with them but every time he would run into them, regardless of how long you had dated them, he always had something to say.

he looks like he jerks off to weird porn. definitely something about shampoo, a hot girl, and way too much viagra.

he has a small dick.

he makes his girlfriends lose weight even though he has a beer belly.

i'm not even gonna lie to you - i just hate the fact that he's balding.

most of the reasons that jeno gave you were kinda stupid. but ultimately, he was usually right about which people to avoid and even if he said it was because they were ugly and balding, it was usually because he knew that they weren't kind people on the inside.

it was because you just didn't have a great self-image, jeno used to say. if you saw yourself the way the rest of us - the way i see you, you'd never even give some of these assholes a chance, y/n. think of it as playboy experience about how to find the people actually worth your time.

but he had never said anything like this before. for all of the hazy comments and strange strength jeno developed when he was drunk, he had never said anything like this to you before. mostly because jaemin was really good at protecting his roommate from making stupid decisions but it was clear that even jaemin couldn't stop this.

"jen, you sound crazy right now," you say, rubbing your forehead. you step out of the restroom to see juyeon waiting at the table alone, as jimin and jaehyun seemingly already left together. "i don't really know what you're trying to say and quite frankly, i have no clue why you're acting like this. ask jaemin to make sure you're drinking a lot more water and we'll talk about this in the morning, alright?"

jeno doesn't say anything but from the shuffling in the background, you realize that jaemin has finally rose from his slump and was signaling something to jeno. good. maybe jaemin would be able to understand why the fuck jeno was acting like this.

there's an exchange of words, mostly jaemin berating jeno to hand over the phone as you hear a loud thump in the background before jaemin is speaking.

"hey, y/n it's me," jaemin says. it's clear that he's been drinking too but jaemin isn't too much of a drinker so he still sounds pretty levelheaded as he speaks.

"what's up with jeno, jaemin? why is he acting like that?" you ask, making your way over to the table slowly. you realize that juyeon is holding onto your coat and suddenly, you're not really sure about what to do. you don't know what it is about the simple fact that juyeon is holding your coat but the entire thing seems a little domestic. like the two of you actually were on a date.

"y/n, i'm gonna be so honest with you, i think it's best if you have some distance from jeno for a while. i think he's just getting in his head about stuff he shouldn't be and really, i think the only way he's gonna get over it or figure out how to talk to you about it if he has some distance."

how perfect. you sigh, running your hand through your hair as you smile at juyeon, who helps you put your coat over your shoulders, the scent of his cologne filling up your lungs. you decide that if it was distance that jeno wanted, it was distance jeno was going to get. quite frankly, this wasn't the first time jeno had randomly pulled away from you, even if it was the first time he had finally come close to clueing you into why.

it was clear that jeno didn't like you dating people - especially not juyeon. maybe even to the extent of jeno changing his own playboy ways to convince you otherwise of interacting with juyeon.

you had considered the fact that jeno might be interested in you romantically or that maybe he was jealous for your affections. but every time you thought that, jeno would come back from his faraway space with a new girl and a genuine twinkle in his eye and suddenly, everything was back to normal.

jeno simply was an overprotective person, you decided. and he would do whatever he thought was right to make sure that the people around him didn't get hurt.

it really did check out, honestly.

jeno was equally overprotective of everyone in his life because getting that close to him in the first place was a feat within itself. once you made it past that original barrier, however, he would be willing to give his life if he thought it would help even the slightest.

but...even so. this was weird.

either way, juyeon was opening the passenger door to his car and you were aimlessly climbing into it so any and all thoughts about jeno would have to wait until you made it down this slippery slope first. the last thing you needed in the morning was the honest to god gripping panic of doing the walk of shame.

juyeon doesn't seem like the type to expect a lady to put out because he bought her dinner but you can never be too careful. he seems to notice your apprehension because he asks you for your address upfront, raising three fingers in an oath.

"i promise to conduct no funny business and i will take you home safe and sound, y/n," he says solemnly, and the way his eyes sparkle in the light of the moon is enough to make your resolve melt a little bit as you laugh softly.

"alright juyeon. since you promised no funny business," you quip lightly, entering your address on the navigation screen next to the steering wheel.

juyeon squints at your address, which is fifteen minutes away, before looking at you strangely. "are you sure this is the right address? my building is right next door! i would've seen you at some point, and trust me, i'd never forget a face like yours."

"uh, yeah, this is my address. i'm usually never home though, since i'm always either with jimin or my friends jaemin and jeno," you say, watching as juyeon sets the car in reverse to pull out of the parking spot. his arm lifts, as though he were going to put it behind the headrest of your seat to do the classic flirting move to reverse. he sets it back down when he sees you staring at the screen (which had a rearview camera feed on it), realizing that it would be dumb to try and make a move in such a cliché way.

"jeno? jeno lee?" juyeon asks as you guys pull out of the parking spot. you glance at him sideways, wondering if he were going to offer the same cautionary tale that jaemin and jeno had presented to you.

"yeah. he's one of my best friends. do you know him?" you ask, already presuming the answer.

juyeon is silent, as though he's weighing options in his mind. should he be honest with you? should he preserve your feelings?

"i know of him. i don't know him all that well," juyeon says finally, and you know that juyeon has decided to take the third option. neutrality. and while you're tempted on asking him to expand, you really don't know him well enough to do that.

so you just leave the topic aside and wait for him to start a different conversation.

he does soon enough, but you know that his heart isn't in it anymore. you engage in polite smalltalk until he pulls up to your apartment complex. you thank him for driving you and are about to step out of the car when juyeon suddenly touches your wrist gently, afraid to make rude or rough gestures.

you pause, half out of the car as you turn to him with a quizzical smile.

"i had a good time getting to know you today, y/n. and i know that it was just an excuse for those two to go on a date without making it weird but i really did have a good time getting to know you. i hope that i didn't make a bad impression at the end." his eyes are shining under the dim lighting of the few rooms that are still lit up in your apartment complex.

you smile at him gently, shaking your head to assure him. "you didn't make a bad impression. i had a good time getting to know you too."

you're ready to step out of the car once more when juyeon's fingers on your wrist wrap around them, this time a little bit more firm on claiming your attention.

"i - i want to see you again. i've honestly never connected this well with someone before. would you be open to that?" juyeon asks. you pause for a moment before giving in. how could you say no to him when he was looking at you with such big, brown eyes with so much hope hidden in them?

but even as you give juyeon your number, you can practically hear the bright red warning signs in your mind - and for some reason, jeno was the one screaming every single one of those signs.

"good night y/n," juyeon says, his smile every inch as heartbreakingly charming as the moment you knew he'd be bad for you.

you offer a tight, cautious smile in return. "good night juyeon."

+++

for someone who was fiercely overprotective of his friends, jeno had a strange tendency of self-sabotaging his relationships with them. not all of them - mostly just you. he didn't know what it was about you but somehow, he always just seemed to be saying the wrong things at the wrong time.

jaemin seems to think that it's because jeno has feelings for you (which he most definitely does not) (at all) (for real).

it wasn't as though jeno didn't like when you went on dates. in fact, he liked to think that he was rather supportive. it was just that you had a tendency to pick out all of the shittiest men in seoul to date and quite frankly, jeno hated it.

and you knew that. you'd been dealing with jeno's strange tendencies for three years now. he knew that you knew that he'd call you by next week and everything would be back to normal. that's usually how it went when you went on a particularly serious date on any level. strange set of coincidences that jeno only seemed to fuck up the worst right before or after a date you were raving about.

huh.

"i'm telling you jeno, you have got to tell her the way you feel about her," jaemin says, tossing a water bottle at jeno. they're sitting on the floor in front of the tv, watching money heist halfheartedly. terrible show to be their 'let's talk about our feelings' show but jaemin and jeno never could have a conversation like that without some level of violent scheming occurring in the background.

"i don't feel any way about y/n, jaemin. honestly, it's getting really fucking annoying that you keep saying that i do," jeno says, digging his chopsticks into his chinese takeout food. jaemin rolls his eyes, sitting down next to jeno with his own box of takeout.

"i swear to god. why did you call her then? why did you call her on her date last night?" jaemin asks. jeno shrugs, setting his food down before sighing.

"i don't know, okay? i just...you know what happened with juyeon. i just can't imagine her going through something like that," jeno says softly. jaemin looks at him before clearing his throat, forcing jeno to look at him square in the eyes.

"look, i know that you and juyeon don't have the greatest past but you have got to let her find her person. who knows! maybe juyeon's changed in the last three years. you literally don't know him anymore. and besides, this isn't about juyeon and you know it. you did this when she got with daniel, and then sunghoon, and then even doyoung." jaemin shakes his head, trying to get jeno to understand his own feelings. "you're blind to it but every time she actually feels good about someone, you somehow need to take a break from her. why?"

jeno doesn't actually have the answer to that question. why, indeed, is the question of the night.

later that night, when jaemin has turned in (or rather, announced that he was going to sleep, only to sit in bed and occupy their shared netflix account for hours), jeno pulls out his phone and searches up three words.

we need space.

he searches in his messages and cringes when he sees the number of outgoing texts that have space (as in the number of times he's broken up with someone over text) in them. he filters all of the other people out except for you and it pisses him off that jaemin is right.

may 2020. the first time jeno had asked you for some space, when you'd asked daniel to be your boyfriend.

august 2021. the second time you guys had taken some space, when you'd gone on your first date with sunghoon.

september 2022. the third time that you had had to take a break from each other. when jeno had introduced you to doyoung with his own hands.

realistically, jeno knew that jaemin was right. and with the evidence staring at him so incriminatingly, there was no way to refute the accusations.

but as much as jeno had dated around, he still didn't know what or who he was looking for. sure he was attracted to you as a person and your, uh, physicality - but that didn't mean that you were the one for him. and if jeno were to pursue something with you that made him realize that you truly weren't what he was looking for after all, not only would he be losing you as a partner but he'd be losing you as a best friend too.

so he continues in the toxic cycle of taking a break from you every time he feels as though his feelings are getting too high in his chest for him to contain them and never giving you or jaemin an explanation of why.

jeno knew it was wrong. he knew that his life would be so much easier if he just came clean and you fell one way or another on the scale of 'already dated' and 'haven't dated yet' like most of the girls on campus. but it was different with you.

it'd always been different with you.

so jeno rolls over, and goes to bed, dreaming of you and juyeon holding hands on your first date alone. he's never had such a restless night of sleep in his life.

+++

you know that you're being a bad friend to jimin when she's pouting at you swirling your straw in your macchiato instead of listening to her rambles.

"come on, y/n. it's been three days. you know that jeno gets like this - it's not like this is new right?" jimin says, covering your hand with both of hers, blinking at you curiously.

you smile and shake your head. "yeah. i'm sorry. this is supposed to be about you and i'm just getting in my head about this shit."

jimin tuts, eyebrows furrowing in mock anger. "that's not what i mean and you know it. i'll talk about jaehyun whether you're listening or not and you and i both know that. i just - i guess i'm not sure why you're always so hung up over jeno doing this when you know that he's gonna do it."

"you're right. it's not new. and i'm sorry that it keeps coming up when i really hate that he does this but i just wish he would talk to me instead of shutting me out every time that something like this happens. it's just him and jaemin cooped up and talking to each other for a week before they go back to being normal. and i get it. they're guys. they need a break and they need to do guy things and take a break from girls or whatever the fuck straight boys do. but this is getting out of hand and ridiculous."

but you catch yourself, shaking your head once more as you focus on jimin. "thank you for letting me get that out of my system. now tell me what you were saying about jaehyun. i feel like i've lost my best friend to some random guy for the past three days!"

jimin eyes you for a moment longer (and you know that she's not going to let this go) but decides to take mercy on you.

"well, jaehyun and i have been doing really well, honestly! we've seen each other every single day for the last three days - which isn't that hard considering that we've been having sex all day in every square inch of his apartment." jimin sees the scandalized look on your face before laughing. "don't worry, he lives alone and we've actually been going on non-sexual dates too. we connect in more ways than one if you get what i mean."

you slap jimin's arm incredulously, looking around the cute little café that you were sitting in to make sure that no one was listening. no one was, of course, given that it was 11:30 am on a monday but that was besides the point.

"oh my god. so are you guys going to make it official or what?" you ask, leaning forward on your steepled fingers. jimin shrugs, leaning back in her chair languidly.

"i don't know. i mean, i really like our chemistry and i like where this is going but i'm not going to label it. i'm definitely not going to be the one to pop the 'what are we' question - that's gotta be him," jimin says. "even though i am so incredibly head over heels for him. so i would like to be his girlfriend. for realsies."

she adds on the last part almost as an afterthought when she sees your unbelieving face.

"i mean it! i really want to be more than just a situationship but i really can't be the one to initiate that. i'm tired of always having to express interest in others. i attract; i don't chase," jimin says with a catty smile and you can't help but grin at that.

maybe jeno was really onto something. girl time was amazing. maybe that's why jeno needed some space from you.

"i agree. and you know what, i don't want to knock it but that honestly doesn't seem all that strange, considering that your location has consistently been showing that you're at jaehyun's place for the past 72 hours," you say, laughing at her mischievously when she returns the favor with a slap to your arm.

"i don't know. yeah. anyway. speaking of jaehyun, or not really him, but his friend - not the point! jaehyun mentioned that you gave juyeon your number? and that you've been kinda talking?" jimin says, and now it's your turn to blush.

"no - i mean, yes. i did give him my number but it's honestly not like that. he seems great and all but jeno and jaemin seemed really spooked when i mentioned him. i trust them when it comes to boys. especially with my shitty taste in them," you say thoughtfully and jimin can't help but agree with that.

she checks her phone and groans, starting to shuffle her things together as she prepares to leave. "this has been so good but i have to get to class and you know how much of a pain in the ass professor joo is."

you also start to gather your belongings, slurping down the leftovers of your macchiato. "yeah. i think that my early lunch break is coming to an end anyway. i've got a meeting at 6 pm but we're still on for dinner and drinks this friday, right?"

jimin nods distractedly as she checks her phone to see if jaehyun had texted her. he hadn't. in the past four hours. she clicks her phone shut and looks at you with a determined look in her eyes.

"yes. for sure. you and i have a date this friday and i don't want you to cancel, you hear me? and do not let those investors keep my baby from me like they did last time," jimin says, wagging her pointer finger at you threateningly. you roll your eyes, pressing a kiss to her cheek as the two of you make your way out of the café.

"i hear you. no more investors past 7 pm on a friday," you say, raising your hands in surrender when jimin squints her eyes at you. she side hugs you before checking the time once more (therefore realizing that professor joo wasn't above calling her out in the middle of class) and scurrying off to snu, a block down from the café you were previously in.

you sigh, shaking your head fondly as you turn in the opposite direction to head to work.

+++

turns out, friday seems to be a very popular night. not only do you have back to back meetings from 4 pm to 7 pm, but juyeon and jimin have texted you multiple times to confirm or (try) to make plans for friday night.

and honestly you didn't really want to go out. in between the radio silence between you, jeno, jaemin (who only really communicated in really stupid tiktoks back and forth), juyeon's suave maneuvering you into agreeing to a raincheck to saturday for the date, and jimin lamenting the fact that jaehyun hadn't brought up the 'what are we' conversation, there was so much going on.

all you needed were your friends, chinese takeout, and a little bit of jane the virgin. or other soapy dramas to take your mind off of everything.

but you had promised jimin and you'd be damned if you were going to bail on your friend when she was already not feeling well.

and besides, you refused to be a corporate slave who canceled on her friends because she was married to her job. that's not why you had chosen this job. and that's definitely why you had decided to reject pre-med as a sophomore in college.

so you find yourself taking shots with jimin in her kitchen and...jaehyun and juyeon.

when you had walked into jimin's apartment with nachos and shooters of pink whitney to pregame, you really weren't expecting to be face to face with juyeon - or jaehyun, honestly, given that jimin had been so heartbroken over the fact that jaehyun hadn't initiated the conversation yet.

not to mention the fact that she had made sure that the two of you were going out in the first place because of the whole jaehyun fiasco. so when you come face to face with the last person on the planet who should be in jimin's apartment, you're more than a little confused.

"oh, hey y/n. long time no see," jaehyun says with an easy smile, dimples showing that he had no clue that you knew that your best friend was waiting on a kind of serious conversation with him. you manage a tight smile before pulling shooters out of your purse, putting all four of them down on the counter in front of you.

"yeah. i thought it'd be a little longer though. jimin, i thought we were having a girls night?" you ask, eyes flashing at her when you turn out of view from jaehyun and juyeon. jimin just shrugs helplessly as juyeon steps in.

"don't blame her. i was the one who asked if we could tag along for the night. i promise we won't cause any trouble," juyeon says, and you turn to look at him, only to see him looking straight at jaehyun. his eyes dart between jaehyun and jimin before finally landing on you and you take the hint.

"oh. no worries. yeah, no worries at all, actually. hey, you know what i actually wanted to confirm something about tomorrow's plans with you if i could steal you for a couple seconds?" you say, leaving no room for denial as you wrap your arm in his and walk the both of you to the balcony, closing the door behind you.

"thank you for understanding - jaehyun wants to talk to jimin today about making things official but he's been so nervous about it that he's been putting it off. i figured that it would be better for me to come with him to make sure he doesn't chicken out. and catch you guys before you leave so that he doesn't sit and ferment in his feelings any longer," juyeon explains slowly, sure to refrain from turning around to see how things were going inside.

you lean over the metal bars of the balcony, the cold sinking into your skin in a refreshing way, the april air finally warming up enough to go out without needing a literal winter jacket.

"ahh. good idea. don't tell her i told you this but she was worried that he really wasn't into her," you say. juyeon snorts, a sound that's almost unbecoming from a man so handsome.

"isn't into her? he's head over heels for her. i don't think it's taken him more than thirty minutes to get into a relationship with someone if he wanted to. the fact that he took over a week to figure out his feelings means that he's serious. more serious than i've ever seen him." juyeon seems thoughtful as he trails off, letting his words sit on his tongue in a way that almost feels like he can truly feel the weight of the words.

"hm. or is just unsure of how he feels," you say, and juyeon looks at you strangely, turning so that he was leaning on the railing, his gaze fixated on you.

"are you really that cynical about men?" he asks chidingly, and you shrug.

"yeah. i mean. i don't know. i'm best friends with two of them so i know first hand how fucked up men can be. trust me, i pray to god every day for more patience before i fuck jeno or jaemin up for good," you say, and you can feel juyeon's presence grow cold at the mention of your best friends.

when you look at him though, he has nothing but warmth in his eyes and he smiles at you. "i will admit that there are a lot of messed up things that guys have done but it's not fair to categorize all men due to the faults of a few."

"uh-huh. and when men turn into heartbreakers after getting fucked over by one girl...it's okay?" you say, raising an eyebrow and you can feel juyeon trying to physically retract his statement.

"no. no. it's definitely not okay to hurt other people because you've been hurt. but give us some credit, okay? some of us are trying our best," juyeon says, and you watch as his eyes fall to your lips before dragging them upwards again.

"some of us are just trying to find our other half."

you're silent for a moment, and the moment is all you need to push off of the railings and turn to juyeon with a sad smile. "look juyeon, you're a great guy and i hate to nip things in the bud - especially with someone i get along so well with. but my friends are the most important people in my life. so i don't know what happened between you, jeno, or jaemin but i know that if it really came down to it, they take precedence."

juyeon nods, like he'd been expecting you to say as much. how, you don't understand, given that your reasoning had come out of pretty much left field. and for no real reason too. but men are predictable, easy to read, and all it takes is one moment to understand their intentions.

"yeah. i know. i figured you'd pick them. not that i'm trying to guilt you for that or that i expect you to pick me or anything but i still tried my best, you know," juyeon says casually, giving you a thinly suppressed heartbroken smile. you melt slightly as you turn to him, giving him a half shrug.

"i'm sorry. i'm sure your other half would be so lucky to have you," you say gently. you look at your phone, where jimin has texted you saying that she's going to have to bail on girls night as her and jaehyun had decided to stay in for the night. juyeon seemingly gets a similar text because when you look back inside to the apartment, jaehyun is holding hands with jimin, who uses her free hand to wave sheepishly at you as they recede backwards where the bedroom was.

"i guess we've overstayed our welcome," juyeon says with a laugh, opening the balcony door as the two of you make your way back inside to grab any personal belongings and leave before you witnessed something that would end up scarring you forever.

you eye the shooters and then exchange a look with juyeon.

“i know we’re not - whatever but honestly, i think that you’re good company and this kind of night doesn’t deserve go wasted,” you say, grabbing the shooters and juyeon’s hand and dragging him out of jimin’s apartment when you hear the very telltale sign of a bedroom door shutting down the hall.

juyeon takes one look at the shooters in your hand and the glint in your eyes before taking the two of the little bottles you offer to him.

“i can’t believe i’m doing this right now,” juyeon mutters under his breath, but his smile is lighthearted.

“what, grown men can’t drink pink whitney?” you ask, throwing a shooter back and immediately regretting the fact that you don’t have chasers with you. you may not be an amateur on the night scene but alcohol still always needed a chaser.

“no,” juyeon says, knocking back both of them a little too smoothly. “i meant taking shots with the girl who rejected me in front of her best friend’s apartment where her best friend and my best friend are fucking.”

you look at him, searching for any sense of genuine discontentedness but the way that juyeon’s eyes curve into teasing crescents convince you otherwise.

it would be so easy to choose him. so incredibly easy. but jeno’s face flashes through your mind and you find yourself taking a step back, shaking your head when juyeon looks at you questioningly.

“to the club!”

+++

there are two things that you learn about juyeon by the time you’re another two shots deep: a) he is an absolute gentleman - not just to you, but to the other people around the two of you as well. b) he is a very flirtatious drunk.

in fact, he manages the very big, very linebacker looking bouncer to let him into the club even though his name wasn’t on the list with nothing but a charming smile and an absolute inability to keep from flirting with everything and anything in sight.

which is funny to watch, especially from the other side of the bouncer, because every time juyeon says something particularly risqué, you can see the bouncer’s ears go bright red before he finally relents and lets juyeon in.

but it’s somehow less funny when he’s using those lines on you. it somehow makes your head dizzy and it makes you forget why you turned him down in the first place. you’re half-convinced that this had been juyeon’s plan all along. to turn on the charm to the max so that when you’re under the lights (that honestly might invoke epilepsy; why the fuck were they flying around the place like that), you forget all about jeno.

it’s a bad decision, you repeat to yourself as you watch juyeon make his way through the crowd to where you’re standing in an isolated, somewhat calmer corner. jeno and jaemin warned you against him for a reason. protect your peace, y/n.

and even while you repeat that to yourself over and over again, when juyeon’s hand holds yours precariously as he pulls you into the growing mess of bodies, you find it harder and harder to convince yourself that that was the truth. god, he looks good.

his hair has fallen messily across his forehead, contrasting the way it had been carefully gelled back before. he’s rolled up the sleeves of his button up to reveal his forearms, and you feel no matter than a man as your eyes trail the depths that planes of his chest promise from where they peek out of his half unbuttoned shirt.

you’re vaguely aware that there are various people waiting for you to either make a move or to push him away once and for all. it felt like every single person in the club was fixated upon the two of you - do you want him or not? because you’re holding up the fucking line. for you and your friend.

and so you take the plunge.

you move his hand from where it was innocently resting on your wrist and place it on the small of your back, smiling when juyeon takes the hint and draws you closer to him so that your chest is pressed against his.

“hey beautiful,” juyeon breathes as he looks down at you, almost in disbelief. “what are you doing here?”

you know, even tipsy, that he’s looking for a real answer. and you don’t want to play him - you don’t want to add to the list of heartbreak.

“i’m looking for someone to keep me company tonight,” you say and look up at him through your lashes, a coy smile playing on your lips when juyeon’s breath falters as you do so. “just for the night though. you know anyone who might interested?”

juyeon pulls you impossibly closer and you register the copious amounts of men (for you) and women (for him) that are turning away from the two of you, more than a little disappointed.

“yeah, i might know someone.” 

and with that, he spins you so that your back is pressed against his front, his arms caging you in protectively when he sees that a man is looking at you like he genuinely wants to eat you up.

you can feel your self-control slipping further and further away from you as the two of you just let the music fill you up, forgetting about your inhibitions as long as you had this music and him.

it’s too perfect though, and you realize as much when you make eye contact with jeno fucking lee across the club. right before he dips his head to whisper in some girl’s ear.

jaemin is right next to him, his arm laying casually on another girl and you can see the sheer panic in his eyes when he sees you, and then the confusion when he realizes just who you’re pressed up against. you watch as he leans over to whisper (yell; you’re sure that no one can whisper in an establishment threatening to break the sound barrier) something in jeno’s ear but he’s firmly shut down when jeno waves him off.

you scoff at that, turning around the pair of you around so that juyeon’s back was to the two idiots that you call your friends, now facing the dj booth.

the song switches to a much more upbeat song that you don’t recognize and you take it as your cue to push any and all thoughts of your friends out of your mind. you choose to give no apologies for the way that you spend your time - especially if your friends chose to give you no explanation for their behavior.

if they didn’t need to explain themselves, neither do you.

and it works for a while. for a while, all you can think of is the warmth that fills your body. from the alcohol, the heat of juyeon’s body pressed against yours, or even the excitement of the atmosphere; all if it is just so intoxicating.

you forget all about the fact act jeno and jaemin are just a few feet away, actively avoiding you (and doing a poor job of doing so) until juyeon spins you around, looking deep into your eyes in a way that makes you feel, heat rising to your cheeks as you watch his lips move.

“i know that you don’t want - honestly, whatever it is that you don’t want - but jeno and jaemin are here and you haven’t pushed me off of you. so i’m going to shoot my shot for one last time, y/n. and if you reject me this time, i think that we should go our separate ways,” juyeon says, his voice soft and gentle and yet somehow, you can hear every word he says with perfect clarity. 

you honestly don’t know what to say. juyeon had caught you in a bad moment with jeno and jaemin. more specifically, jeno. you didn’t want that to cloud your judgement though. you had known juyeon for a total of maybe a week. you had known jeno and jaemin for years and for those years, their opinions on the men in your life had very rarely been wrong. 

and yet, the boy that they had warned you against was pressed up against you and those two were on the other side of the club, arms wrapped around girls you knew they would forget about by the morning.

you sigh, stepping back from juyeon, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation making you sober up more than you want to. you hear the beat drop to ‘kiss me better’ by rihanna in the background building up and it seems like everything in the universe is just pushing you to give juyeon a chance.

but juyeon understand what you mean when you step away from him and he gives you one last, longing look before smiling, gently tugging you forward so that the two of you can make your way to a less crowded area.

“you wanna go home?” juyeon asks. you know that he’s asking for his own sake, almost as though he was asking for permission to get with someone else to nurse him through his rejection if you wouldn’t. but he’s a gentleman and he wouldn’t leave you for the wolves and so he asks you if you want to go home instead.

“yeah. i want to go home.”

juyeon nods, already pulling out his phone. “let me call you an uber. and y/n? i’m not upset. i’m just glad that i know i did everything i could. jeno’s a lucky guy for you to care this much about what he says and thinks.”

you want to disagree with him. he’s my friend. of course his opinions matter. sorry. it’s not personal. i actually liked spending time with you.

but even as these thoughts battle in your mind, you find yourself unable to say any of the words out loud. 

jimin was your friend but that stopped you very rarely from doing whatever you wanted to do in the end. jaemin would often yell at you for your terrible affinity for working yourself to the bone and you brushed his concern to the side every time. but it was different with jeno. it had always been different with jeno.

you’re too drunk to think about the implications of any of that though so you just smile once again, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to juyeon’s cheek.

“you’re so good, juyeon. regardless of what anyone says.”

and with that, you step into the uber that has reached the club in record time and head home.

+++

you’re not surprised by the text you get from jimin in the morning. or the one from jaemin. in fact, there are only two texts that surprise you when you manage to finally look at your phone with clear enough eyes.

jiminy cricket: OMG i’m so sorry abt last night love!! heard you went out w juyeon tho ;) we need to debrief fr

jaejaeminna: sorry i didn’t get a chance to say hi before you left

juyeon lee: did you get home safe?

ur mom (jeno): can we talk?

you respond to jimin with a quick for sure, girlie! before stepping into the shower, electing to ignore the rest of the messages in your phone. your roommate, jessica, a girl that you barely interacted with, given that she was usually at her boyfriend’s place or you were at jeno’s or jimin’s had kindly left extra pancakes that she had clearly made before she dashed out of the house.

you munch on them slowly, sending her a message of profound gratitude as you try to digest the events of last night (as well as the delicious pancakes), making sure to tousle your hair every so often to get it to dry faster.

first, jimin and jaehyun had clearly made things somewhat official (or at least were on the same page) which meant that you probably wouldn’t have to try and help jimin decipher what that entire situation was. a win, really. second, you and juyeon had gone clubbing together and had shared more than one or two intimate moments. third, you shot him down once and for all. fourth, he still called you an uber and made sure you made it home safe. fifth, you saw jeno and jaemin at the club and neither of them said anything to you.

this was officially the longest that you had gone without speaking to jeno - or even jaemin. 

even the stupid tiktok’s had faded away to nothingness by the end of last week from jaemin, which meant that something was so incredibly wrong, it wasn’t even funny.

also, jeno never said can we talk. 

it was usually a much more casual wanna get chinese? or even a bring your stupid ass over here cause jaemin misses you. that was more his speed in his form of apology or trying to make it clear to you that the two of you were back to normal now. he’d never acknowledge the two or three days of radio silence, electing to just pretend that they never happened in the first place.

so going from not talking at all to suddenly such a loaded question was new and kind of surreal for you. not to mention that jaemin’s last text to you was also indicative that something was seriously off between the three of you. the text before that had been a tiktok of a man sitting in a car yelling, “it’s the way you act!” and now it was that he didn’t say hi at the club.

you sigh, debating all of your options carefully. 

you were obviously going to have to talk to jeno about the situation at some point. and honestly, you were going to have to have a serious conversation about the fact that he would do this every so often because it’s getting way too much for you to handle. it wasn’t as though you were doing something wrong - jaemin would call you out on your behavior, even if jeno didn’t. 

you were left to decipher what exactly it was that had jeno in such a pissy mood and you would have to try and figure out what it is on your own because he’s a grown man that doesn’t know what communication meant. for someone who always warned you against the toxicity of men, he was doing a pretty great job of showing you exactly why to avoid them. 

pushing all thoughts of jeno and everything else to the side, you decide to take the day as a self-care day for yourself. lord knows that with everything you had going on, self-care was the one thing you desperately needed. of many things, really, but taking a walk and soul food was going to have to do.

you’re just putting on a face mask (one of the korean ones that you had had to sell your left foot to pay the shipping for) when your doorbell rings and you hate the way that you already know who’s at the door even before you step to the entryway, where the monitor is to see who is buzzing for you.

you’re greeted by jeno’s face, alone, looking worse for the wear as he ruffles his hair, shifting from foot to foot as he waits for you to either let him in or at least press the intercom to speak with him. you’re trying to make a decision and you know that decision, as trivial as it seems, would be what would set up your friendship with him in the future.

were you really going to give him another chance? even as he continued to mess up this hard?

you don’t say anything in the intercom but the faint buzzing noise that echoes in the monitor is response enough as jeno opens the door that has opened once you pressed the button, effectively solidifying your decision.

he was jeno. your jeno. you couldn’t just not listen to what he had to say.

the time that jeno takes to make it to the fourth floor where your apartment was seemed to have stretched on for eternity. you weren’t sure the last time that jeno had been in here (last weekend) but suddenly everything in the apartment was just too messy.

you panic and rush to clean everything in sight before you pause awkwardly. this is just jeno. the same boy who had come over and thrown up on your birthday after drinking too much at your party. the same boy who would be sitting in his room screaming into his headset as he played video games, having no regard for you and jaemin spending quality quiet time together. 

and he was also the boy who asked for space when you needed him the most.

so you put down your weapon of choice (a swiffer mop) and wait for the eventual knock at the door that finally comes about a half second later. you take a deep breath before opening the door, coming face to face with your ‘best friend’ of the past three years. 

the little monitor had done the damage little justice. the eyeballs under jeno’s eyes were deep and purple, with his cheekbones protruding a little more than you remember them to, and his gaze deep and sorrowful. 

but somehow, you could look past all of that because your gaze is caught by something else - the purple and very telling hickey on his neck. he’s clearly made an attempt to cover it up with what you assume is whatever foundation you might have left at their place on the nights that you’re too lazy to come home before work. the attempt isn’t all that successful, given that your foundation is about three hundred shades too dark for his skin (which is as pale as a ghost around this time of year) but you appreciate the effort.

not really.

jeno looks uncharacteristically shy as he stands in the living room, having switched out his shoes for his slippers that he bought specifically for your apartment once him and jaemin started coming over more often. they usually fought over ‘jeno’s’ slippers (they had peaches on them while ‘jaemin’s’ had ducks) but jaemin usually conceded to jeno.

usually, he’d be sprawled out on the sofa with little more than a half-hearted ‘hey’ and bags of chinese takeout on the kitchen counter but you see none of that now. now, he looked like a lost puppy, shuffling awkwardly to stand next to the couch.

it would almost be funny if it weren’t for the fact that the two of you haven’t spoken in a week. or the hickey.

“has it ever occurred to you that we might act like more than friends?” 

the question is sudden, breaking your nostalgia and bringing your train of thought to a screeching halt.

“excuse me?” your voice is calmer than you thought it would be in your head as you spin on your heel to look at jeno in the eye. he licks his lips, a nervous habit that he’d picked up from you, but his eyes don’t shift from yours, decidedly steady. he’s thought this for a while, you realize belatedly. it was just a question of how long and what that really meant.

“i mean you leave your foundation at my place and i buy slippers for yours. i can’t stand olives but when we get pizza, i get olives anyway so that you can pick them off of my slices and eat them. you don’t know your left from right but you still drive forty-five minutes down and back to the bakery to get iced lemon poundcake every time i’m upset.

“i can’t stand it when you meet a decent guy for once in your life and i go off the radar but we - i can’t spend more than a few days away from you. so, i’m always showing up at your apartment with chinese food when the last thing i want to do is hear about you raving about your new date who has a job at amazon and wears real rolex watches while i’m still eating instant ramen and trying to get a grip on life.

“the worst part is that i think i’ve always known. even last night, i was falling into my old pattern of using people to get over you, y/n. in between trying to figure out why i couldn’t click with anyone else besides you and trying to figure out why i feel so empty every time i feel like you’re slipping away from me, i think i figured it out. sure, i hate juyeon because of who he is and what he’s done in the past but i hate him even more because he used to be just like me. and now he’s changed so much and become such a good person. the fact that he’s the bigger, better, older, stronger version of me with his life together freaks me out so much because what if you replace me with him? and then i lose the one person i think i’ve ever properly fallen for and one of my best friends all in one go? and it’s all so selfish but when i have ever tried to hide myself from you, y/n?”

your mind is spinning. jeno is heaving by the end of his rambling. you can’t seem to find your grip on reality. everything is just wrong. it’s all wrong. everything is wrong. what?

jeno lee. playboy extraordinaire. mr. couldn’t be tied down. the boy who came home with a new broken heart in his jar of hearts that he hid deep inside his mind so he wouldn’t have to think of the unintentional consequences of having an unavailable pool of love.

and here he was, standing next to the couch in the living room, looking at you with so much anger, confusion, and sheer love in his eyes that you’re almost upset with yourself that you hadn’t seen it sooner. had he always looked at you like that?

you don’t know what to say though. you can’t even tell if he’s still talking, by the way that the blood is rushing in your head like an unforgiving tsunami has broken loose. you can’t hear anything, much too preoccupied with your own thoughts to even think of listening to his. 

you vaguely register the fact that you and jeno are somehow sitting on opposite ends of the couch, a good entire seat away from each other. that was good, at least. you’re sure that your legs would’ve given out on you at some point if you had remained standing.

“why do you hate juyeon so much?”

the question doesn’t seem to faze him as much as you wished it would. what was it with men and not being stunned by the most random questions or thoughts you can come up with? it somewhat frustrated you that you couldn’t stun them with the same shock factor that they seemed to utilize on you.

jeno sighs, raking a hand through his messy hair as he struggles to come up with the right words to say. or honestly, any non-stupid words.

“juyeon was actually one of the reasons why i came to snu in the first place. he was kind of like my mentor - a guy that i looked up to a lot in high school. he was one of my older friend’s roommate so when i came to check out snu, he toured me around and showed me his entire lifestyle. i was a senior in high school back then and he was just a sophomore but i swear, i’d never clicked with someone that fast before.

“he’s always been super smart and incredibly charming. and back when i met him, as a stupid senior in high school, i thought that everything that he had was what i wanted. he had a new girl at his apartment any time he wanted and always seemed like he had the entire college wrapped around his finger.” jeno gets up, looking frustrated as he starts pacing back and forth between the walls of the living room of the apartment.

“long story short, i caught him making out with my girlfriend at the time over the summer between high school and college. and it all came crashing down. in hindsight, maybe i shouldn’t have hated him nearly as much as i did but the fact that i couldn’t see that he had no qualms of getting with anyone who wanted to get with him hurt me. everything i had idolized came crashing down when i saw the two of them.” 

jeno stops pacing, looking down at his hands, rough and raw from the biting winds outside. “it just - it just hurt y/n. and it made it so incredibly easy to just not believe in love anymore. and then i met you and you came into college looking for the one and it was just so hard not to believe in love. when you said you were going out with juyeon, it took me back to the darkest parts of my past mentally. ridiculous? weak? yeah. i know. but i couldn’t help it.”

“it’s not weak or ridiculous, jeno,” you say gently, finding your voice once more. “i’m just hurt that you didn’t tell me before. i mean, i thought i was your best friend!”

jeno laughs drily, a grating sound that tugs at your heart strings. “but he’s gone clean, y/n. he’s everything that i couldn’t be and so much more. he’s near perfect. i couldn’t stop you from finding ‘the one’ that you’ve been dreaming about since i’ve known you. even if that meant that i finally had to let the past go. even if it meant that i had to give up on being able to love you.”

you can’t help the tears that spring to your eyes. “jeno…”

jeno shakes his head, looking at you with watery eyes, dragging his red hands across them roughly. “stop. i don’t need pity. i just…i just wanted clarity. have you always thought of me as a friend? was i making up everything in my head? did - did i imagine that we could’ve had something this whole time?”

you’re at a loss for words. jeno wasn’t wrong. you’d gone to the ends of the earth to make jeno happy. any time he was upset, you’d drop everything to go get that goddamn lemon cake. you couldn’t go more than a week without him. even if the entire world went to shit, you’d always thought that you and jeno would go down together, fighting side by side. if it really came down to choosing between your friends, some part of you knew that you’d always choose jeno before jaemin or jimin.

and some part of you wonders if you’d always had that much affection for him.

“i don’t know,” you say honestly. jeno’s face falls, and an awkward silence falls between the two of you, with his feet pointed to the door and muscles tensed to move. you know that if you don’t come up with the words to say something that’ll convince him to stay, you’ll have given him no reason to. you know he’s going to leave.

no matter what, you cannot lose jeno, you realize. he’s the one part of your life that cannot leave. he’s the person that buys slippers for your house. he’s the boy who can’t stand when he has to compete for your attention. he’s the man who’s shoulder you cry on when your heart suffers even the smallest scratch. 

he’s your jeno.

“i don’t know,” you begin, rushing to continue when you see jeno’s crestfallen expression. “but it’s all so sudden, jeno. you’ve been thinking about your feelings for a long while. i’ve honestly never considered the possibility of - of us being more than friends. of being together. maybe i’ve had feelings for you this whole time without knowing. maybe my ‘one’ has been you this whole time. maybe we’re better off as friends! i don’t know anything.”

jeno’s breath catches as he realizes what the hidden implication in your words is.

“but i’m willing to find out if you are.”

+++

after the enlightening conversation that you’d had with jeno that morning, you’d made plans with him to go on a proper date on wednesday, a day that you had nothing but boring meetings and jeno only had two classes. the two of you had decided to first go on the date and then try to figure out how you felt about each other from there. 

you’d also taken it upon yourself to curve juyeon once and for all. he was a great guy and you were sure that he’d be a great person to whoever he’s meant to be with but after reminding him that you were distinctly uninterested (and apologizing if you’d insinuated that you wanted to see him as an anything after that night), you’d deleted his number and all thoughts of him from your mind.

jaemin had been equally easy to make up with. you understood - after all, jaemin was jeno’s friend first and foremost. even if he didn’t necessarily agree with jeno and his tendencies, being his friend first meant that he had to prioritize jeno and his feelings. he was relieved to hear that jeno had finally grown the balls (verbatim) to confess the painstaking secret that he had been holding onto for the past three years.

“three years? he’s liked me since he met me? and you never said anything, jaemin?” you say incredulously, thanking the barista with a quick smile before grabbing your coffee, rushing to beat the morning sidewalk traffic as you walk to office.

jaemin’s face on your screen is mostly covered by his covers - a sign that he’s either skipping a class (ancient world history) or avoiding some work that he has to do. it was both, but he would concede neither to you.

“it wasn’t my place to say anything,” jaemin says finally, and you finally look at him properly through the little facetime box, watching him drag his hand over his face. he looks as though he’s aged about ten years in the time that you haven’t seen him - which was only a few days ago, technically. 

“and besides, you saw us at the club. did it look like jeno was exercising any type of common sense? clearly not. he wasn’t ready to listen to the truth, no matter who was delivering it. so there was no point in trying to make him to his senses,” jaemin continues, wrapping his blanket around himself a little tighter. “it didn’t help that his coping mechanism thus far has been to just run away from his issues, forget they exist, and then use a distraction to pretend that he was never affected by it in the first place.”

you sigh. this much was obvious to you as well. the day that jeno had come over, that had been one of the first things that you had confronted him about. he had presented a similar explanation then as jaemin was now but even if he didn’t say anything, you knew that was the truth.

“that reminds me - jimin texted me this morning asking if you were okay. have you talked to her since friday night?” jaemin asks and you groan. in all of this mess, you had completely neglected to debrief jimin and fill her in on everything that was happening.

“oh shit, i completely forgot to call her,” you say, swiping into the company building, smiling as you pass a familiar face. “i’ll talk to her tonight.”

“yeah. she seemed kinda worried. apparently juyeon told jaehyun that you two had cut it off for good and told him about you seeing jeno and i at the club. i guess jaehyun went and told jimin,” he says sullenly. you roll your eyes at his dramatics.

“just because you’re the only one getting no action doesn’t mean that you have to be jealous of jimin,” you say.

“no - what? no! it’s not that. i’m single by choice, thank you very much. i could have a hundred girls lining up for me if i wanted,” he says, clearly miffed. you stifle a laugh; it was so easy to rile men up. “but it’s like a violation of bro code. jaehyun knows that jeno doesn’t fuck with juyeon and he also knows that jimin is one of your best friends. like what did he think? that jimin wouldn’t tell jeno and i or that she wouldn’t talk to you about it?”

you blink, completely lost. “i swear to god, i think guys have more complex interpersonal links than girls do. i followed like maybe 20% of what you said.”

jaemin sticks his tongue out at you childishly. “whatever. don’t you have a job to do?”

“don’t you have a class that you’re paying thousands of dollars to take to go to?”

“touché.”

with that, jaemin ends the call but even as you finally sit down in your little glass office, you know that he’s absolutely not going to go to that class. it didn’t help that you’d taken the class last semester and had handed him your notes. at this point, he basically only went to take the tests - after studying your notes for maybe 10 minutes right before.

you’re about to call jaemin again to make sure that he actually gets up to go to class when there’s a knock on the glass of your office.

“y/n? someone’s ordered breakfast for you,” haerin, an underpaid and quite frankly undervalued intern at your office, says. she’s holding a little pastry box and a straw without any coffee. “the person who dropped it off said that he figured you’d already have coffee but you probably forgot the straw.”

you don’t even need to hear the name of your mystery courier boy because you already know who it is.

jeno.

+++

“he brought you breakfast? to your office?” jimin asks incredulously. you had called her soon after haerin had handed you the breakfast (with your favorite pastry inside the box). you seriously needed to hear a girl’s perspective on all of this, even if it was coming from the most romantic person you knew.

“yeah. i mean he’s done it before - like during my first couple of weeks of working, remember how stressed i was? he bought me lunch and dropped it off at the office, back when i was just an intern running around and didn’t have time to go and get it myself.” you blink, looking at jimin worriedly. “that’s not weird, is it?”

jimin ponders for a moment before shaking her head. “i mean you guys were best friends. i’d do it for you. but i don’t know. i feel like guys and girls who are just friends are more like siblings and i feel like girls who are really close are basically like a married couple.”

“why do you and jaemin always say weird shit that confuses me?”

“no - it’s like…like with a truly platonic set of girl and guy friends, they’re always doing sibling-like things. for example, i think i’ve seen you nearly give jaemin a black eye for taking a bite out of your pizza. but if i wanted a bite of your pizza, you’d probably honestly give me the whole slice. i don’t know, but it’s a dynamic that i’ve seen with all of my female friends compared to my guy friends. but you and jeno have never been like that.”

“i have most definitely tried to fight jeno over pizza. i’m sure i’ve fought him over much less, to be honest,” you say and jimin shrugs.

“i’m not here to make you feel one way or another about him. your feelings are yours to figure out. but as an outsider looking in, even if you were to fight him about something stupid like that, it was because that’s how you guys talked to each other. it’s not like you’re actually going to rip that pizza away from him. in the end, if he really wanted it, you’d concede to him. you don’t really do that for siblings. it’s charged in a different way.

“i’d give up my life for my older sister. but if she even looks at me the wrong way, i’m ready to pull out her hair. or my younger brother? he genuinely gets pleasure out of making me have to redo my entire skincare routine because he switched around all of the labels. would he send me breakfast to my office just because? fuck no. would he give me his kidney in a heartbeat? hell yeah.”

jimin looks down before looking up at you once more. “and even if none of that was true, you don’t look at jeno like you look at jaemin.”

this startles you out of your own attempts of running parallels between what jimin was describing and how you and jaemin were or how you and jeno were.

“what do you mean? how do i look at jeno?” you say, your voice coming out shockingly soft and confused.

“you know how you were kicking yourself about not realizing how jeno looks at you? yeah. that’s how i feel looking at you looking at jeno. i didn’t want to say anything to you about it. honestly, mostly because i hated seeing you get down every time he would just disappear from your life. i don’t know that as your friend, i should be encouraging you at all. but he makes you more happy than i’ve seen anyone else make you,” jimin says. “and that’s reason enough for me to be happy for you. to tell you what you don’t realize yourself. even when you dated other people, you always looked at them differently than you looked at jeno.”

“how do i look at jeno, jimin.” it’s not a question and both you and jimin know that you know the answer to what you’re truly asking.

“you look at him like you’re finally ready to love. like you’re realizing again that maybe jeno was the one you’d been waiting for every time.”

+++

your first date with jeno had been a full course of a dumpster fire with a side of natural disaster.

after your (jimin induced) realization that maybe you’d actually had feelings for jeno longer you’d thought, you find yourself going through the day as if you were on autopilot. jeno sends you breakfast on tuesday and wednesday morning as well, although he doesn’t mention a word of it when the two of you are texting.

at least nothing had changed there, thus far. he still sent you those stupid reaction memes that he found on pinterest and never failed to make fun of your typos in the group chat with you, jaemin, jeno, and now jimin. 

you hadn’t seen him since friday night but by the time wednesday rolls around, you wish that you had a little bit more time. you’re still reeling from your newfound enlightenment and some childish, hidden romantic side of you wants to bask in the uncertainty and the almost juvenile way that your heart beats a little faster whenever you think of the date tonight.

the two of you had decided that you were going to try and approach it as a truly romantic date, rather than the quick food runs that you were used to with him. which meant you were going to have to clean up and put on a dress - a sight that you’re sure jeno was truly not used to seeing after so long of you lounging around his apartment in sweats all day.

since this was the first proper date you were going on (you insisted that the date with juyeon didn’t count, since you had only gone with the intention of being a good friend to jimin.) in a good while, you’d called in the big guns for reinforcement. the only reinforcements you had, but that was besides the point.

“i still don’t get why you’re curling your hair. it looks so pretty naturally,” jimin laments, setting down the section of hair that she was working as she moves onto the next.

“i know. it’s kinda silly but i wanna feel cute - like i wanna look feminine and feel cute when i see jeno. it’s stupid and i swear it goes against everything feminism has taught me but i just want to feel and look like my inner girly-girl has been begging me to,” you explain, pouting when you catch jimin laughing through the reflection of the vanity mirror where you were sitting.

“baby, that’s not silly at all. and it doesn’t go against feminism to want to dress up and look cute! reminder: feminism is about empowering other women and helping everyone have the freedom to choose what they want for themselves. whether that’s dressing up cute or being a stay-at-home mom or being a working woman or some combination of all of the above and then some,” jimin says and then there’s a wicked glint in her eyes. “it’s also very feminist to get men to do your bidding, i think. and hey, if you have to put on a little black dress to do that, then i’m all for it.”

“you sound absolutely ridiculous,” you scoff, but a little smile tugs at the corner of your lips anyway. 

“speaking of little black dresses, you’re wearing a matching set underneath, right?” jimin teases. you swat at her with your free hand that wasn’t applying glitter to your inner eye. “i’m holding a hot iron, you psycho!”

“jimin! i’m not going to have sex on the first date. not that i’m above it but jeno is different,” you say and jimin unfortunately catches the underlying longing tone in your words.

“oh he’s different, is he? girl, where having you been hiding all these feelings for so long?” she says and you find yourself not being able to come up with a rebuttal. honestly, you didn’t know how either of you had been so blind to your feelings for each other. and suddenly, a cold rush of fear runs down your spine.

you twist in your chair, ignoring jimin’s protest that she was almost done with your hair. “wait. you don’t think that this is a mistake, right? like what if he thinks that he has feelings for me but it’s been the chase this whole time. or what if we just don’t click like we think we will? what if i lose my friend and the person that i think i’ve liked for longer than i’d like to admit in one go.”

jimin’s expression turns serious at that. “y/n, you’ve only had a week to figure out your feelings. it’s okay if you want to raincheck and then go on the date when you’re more sure of how you feel, if that’s what you want.”

“that’s not what i want. i think that i actually have liked him for longer than i think. it’s just been so hard to realize that because he’s always been with someone and i’ve always been waiting for the one. it just scares me to think that maybe the one that i’ve been looking for is someone who actually doesn’t think that i’m the one, you know? i don’t know if i could live with losing him.” you blink furiously, willing yourself to not let a single tear fall and ruin all of your hard work for the past couple of hours.

“trust me, y/n, if you’re sure about your feelings and if he really is the one, then everything will work out. have a little faith in the universe.” no sooner does jimin say this, the buzzer rings and you and jimin look at each other in panic.

“it’s still 5:50! he said he was coming at 6:00!” you exclaim and jimin rushes to finish your hair. “you have to distract him! i still have to put my dress on!”

“oh my good lord, i forgot about that. okay, you focus on getting ready, i’m running!” jimin says, cursing when she trips over the cord to the curling iron as she’s running to open the door for jeno.

you shimmy out of your pajamas in hurried movements as you hear jimin say that jeno could come up but that the elevator was broken so he’d have to come up by stairs.

“there’s no sign that says the elevator is broken though,” you hear jeno say as you’re caught in one of the legs of your pajamas, shaking it off wildly as jimin tries to come up with a random explanation on why exactly the elevator had no sign.

“yeah, it actually just broke. like right now. like it was so recent that they didn’t have a chance to put a sign up yet. in fact, i bet that we’re in a space-time pocket and time just moves faster for you and slower for people inside. maybe this building is narnia or something,” jimin says. the room is silent for a moment before you hear the sound of the elevator dinging and you wince, your movements no doubt mirrored by jimin.

you can already see jeno’s amused smirk as jimin says that the elevators must’ve been repaired by the aliens in the space-time pocket. but they were living in a speed that was faster than human senses.

you’d seriously have to buy her a drink when this date was over, you think to yourself as you struggle to zip up the back of the dress. you don’t think that you’ve heard jimin pull out that much utter bullshit in one breath before.

you have heard jaemin say something similar before though, so it made sense that jeno was neither fazed nor taking her seriously. not that anyone could take that seriously, anyway. 

you’ve finally managed to contort your body in the right position to zip up the dress when you hear the door open and jeno saying something to jimin.

“i know i’m early. and i know she’s definitely not ready. but i found these earrings in my apartment and i figured that she’d want to wear these. if i know her at all, she’s wearing black and she always says that she loves to wear these earrings with her black outfits.”

you open the door just slightly for jimin to slip into your bedroom and deposit the earrings in your hands. 

“how do i look?” you whisper, waiting for jimin’s reaction with bated breath.

jimin smiles at you and wraps you up in a tight hug, careful not to wrinkle the silky fabric of your dress. 

“like a dream.”

that works for you and you take a deep breath before opening to door to see jeno. it’s just jeno, you remind yourself. and although it’s not just jeno because you don’t know if he’s ever been just jeno to you, the words serve as a good reminder.

he’s jeno. your jeno. not someone to be afraid of. someone who’s seen every side of you and still wants to see more sides.

you walk into the living room, where jeno is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone (tiktok, as you can tell by sounds of football highlights). there’s a bouquet of flowers, gardenias, laying across his lap and he’s clearly cleaned himself well. he’s wearing a black button down and rolled up the sleeves to reveal the tattoo that he’d gotten halfway through freshman year.

it’s a tattoo of jeno’s favorite quote from his favorite movie, chappie. you are made for good.

he introduced you to the movie early into your friendship, and had been thrilled when he realized that you liked as much as he did. in fact, the same quote that he had gotten tattooed on his forearm was the one that you had custom-made for your phone case. huh.

how long had you and jeno been doing things like this? since the very beginning, you balk.

“you look beautiful.” jeno’s voice is low, softer than you remember and your instinct is to counter him and say that you always look beautiful but he looks a little too sweet under the light of skylights for you to find it in yourself to do so. 

“thank you.” you lean closer, eyes crinkling into a smile when you recognize the cologne that jeno was wearing. “is that the cologne i got you in sophomore year?”

jeno nods and smiles with you. “jaemin said that my normal one was too…fuckboy.”

“the sauvage one? hell yeah, it is. i think that most girls have a trauma response to that cologne at this point,” you say, and suddenly everything is so simple again. it’s your jeno, after all.

“it’s a good thing i listened to jaemin, then.”

you cock your head and you’re vaguely sure that he means more than just his cologne choices.

“yeah, i guess it was.”

+++

pretty much everything from there went completely wrong. for one, jeno’s car (which was infamous for coming up with the most random issues at the worst times) had decided to blare with just about every warning known to man almost as soon as the two of you sit in the car. 

by the time that jaemin arrives to where the two of you had pulled over to take the car to the car dealership, jimin offering her car instead, the two of you were already about thirty minutes late to your reservation. 

it had taken a lot of persuasion on jeno’s end to convince the restaurant to let the two of you sit and eat anyway, although you were past half an hour late for your reservation. as if that weren’t enough, the restaurant refused to accommodate for your dietary restrictions (even though they promised that they did on their website!), causing you to only be able to order an overpriced caesar salad with maybe three vegetables and too much vinegar.

then, as you were leaving, you found out that the valet had parked pretty much on the other side of the country. and it was pouring rain. to the extent that your phone had gone off about three times with warnings that there was a flood watch in seoul.

which meant that jeno had had to book it to run to get the car and pull it up to the front of the restaurant, where you were waiting, shivering even with jeno’s jacket around your shoulders. and due to the layout of the restaurant’s front, you were forced to run in the run in the rain anyway to dive into the passenger seat of jimin’s car. 

and yet, even with all of this, you couldn’t help but laugh. the date was perfect. every time something occurred, jeno handled it with ease, allowing you to just turn off your brain and let him take care of everything for you. he would always turn to you with a silly smile and another story of how the two of you always seemed to find yourselves in the most unbelievable situations.

through all of this, you finally understand what you had been thinking that you wanted this whole time in your wait for the one. not someone who made sure that everything was perfect and that the date was always planned out to the t.

no, it was someone who made you feel like you were having a good time, even when everything was going to shit. 

you look at jeno, recounting some story about how jaemin and him had snuck into a wedding once to eat food after days of cooking instant ramen in their dorm in freshman year, laughing so hard that you could barely hear the pelting rain outside. and seeing him smile like that, feeling yourself smile like that, just because you knew that he was smiling, your heart finally felt at ease.

definitely not a platonic type of love, you decide.

“hey, you okay?” jeno asks, eyes trained on the road in front of him as he navigates to your apartment. “you seem kind of checked out.”

you smile, shaking your head. “yeah. i’m all good. i was…i was just thinking about how stupid i’d been to think that i’d been looking everywhere but right in front of me for ‘the one’ when i didn’t even know what i wanted.”

“yeah? what do you want?” jeno says, his grip on the steering wheel growing tighter as he waits nervously for your answer. you look at him and jeno has to fight himself to keep looking at the road when he wants nothing but to look at you and commit this vision of you to memory.

your glinting earrings and your twinkling eyes under the seoul night sky. your drenched dress and jeno’s jacket across your lap. your wet hair that still somehow looked sexy as you flipped it over your shoulder. your soft smile and seeing you finally look at him the way that he’d been looking at you this whole time. he wants to capture it all within his mind and never forget the way you were looking at him now.

“i want someone to make me feel like that even the stupidest situations were easy to overcome when i’m with them,” you say softly. 

jeno pauses at that, heart beating a little too fast to be good for him. a smile tugs at his lips, no matter how stoic he tries to look. “oh? does this mean you think this date was a success?”

“i think this date was an utter flop,” you say drily and jeno rolls his eyes at that. “but i think my date was pretty great. i’m not going to lie, i’m still a little hungry though.”

“i still can’t believe that they gave you a bowl of lettuce and charged like $30 for that,” jeno says, shaking his fist dramatically. “i’m going to write a scathing yelp review.”

“i mean i didn’t have to pay so that yelp review’s all yours,” you say before turning to him with a sly smirk. “aren’t you going to ask what i’m hungry for though?”

“what do you mean? what are you hungry for?” he asks, turning onto your street. 

“ramen. wanna eat ramen and go?”

jeno has to use all of his self-will to keep from hydroplaning as he pulls into your apartment complex. “y/n. you want me to eat ramen and go?”

“yeah. i meant that literally though. you wanna eat ramen and then maybe ramen?” you ask, batting your eyelashes innocently at him as he parks jimin’s car in your designated parking spot.

“uh, isn’t jimin at your place?” jeno asks, feeling his heart skip a beat when you shake your head no. 

“jaehyun’s apartment is like two complexes down so she just walked over. why? you don’t want to eat ramen with me?” you say, faking a sullen pout. jeno rushes to correct himself, resting his hand on your thigh gently.

“look, y/n, i think that you’re incredibly attractive and i really like you. but that’s - that’s my issue. i like you so much that i don’t want to make you feel like i was trying to get in your pants and then do something that you or i regret. and i know that you’re probably just saying that to get a rise out of me but hear me when i say that i want to take things slow. for your sake, not mine.

“i’ve been thinking about my feelings for so long and i’ve been thinking about how in love with you i am for longer than you might think. to me, sex would kinda just be the next step in taking our relationship to the next level. but i know you. you’ve really only been thinking about this about us for the past week or so. i don’t want to make you feel like you’re obligated to like me if we sleep together. i know that sex isn’t just sex for girls; or maybe it is but isn’t for you, no matter how much you tell me otherwise. and i honestly don’t know where i’m going with any of this but y/n, my feelings for you are true.

“i want to take things slow because if we take that next step, i want it to be when you’re sure. when you’re sure of how you feel for me. maybe i’m not the one for you, y/n. and as much it kills me to say that, it’s a very real possibility. you deserve someone who’d bring down the moon and gift it to you if that’s what you wanted. and i know that i would do that for you. but i need you to believe that too. wholeheartedly. i’ll wait for you for as long as you need. you’re my person, y/n. i’ve waited three years - granted, three very controversial years - for you. i’ll wait three more if that’s what you need.”

you’d said the ramen thing very jokingly, only half-serious about your proposition. but hearing jeno now, you’re happy that you had. you’re not sure that jeno would’ve told you how felt about you and just how deep his feelings ran for you if you hadn’t. he was right, of course. he knew you better than anyone else, after all.

so you kiss him on the cheek good night and open the passenger side door.

you’re about to close the door behind you, ready to bid him goodbye for the night when you lean down to say something to him.

“thank you for waiting for me, jeno.”

+++

turns out, romantic jeno is just like just friends jeno. mostly because you don’t think that you’ve ever truly been just friends. he’s quiet, teases you at any given moment, and listens to you recount even the most boring stories about work.

you went on a couple more dates with all of the formalities before slowly growing more casual with each other once more. neither of you had brought up the topic of physical touch after that night but lately, it was getting harder and harder to find places on jeno’s face to kiss besides his lips.

not to mention that you’d caught jeno’s lingering gaze on your lips (among other things) more and more often. so, just like everything else in your relationship, your first kiss was completely unexpected.

jeno had come over with chinese takeout, since the two of you (honestly, you had made the decision and jeno was just along for the ride) had decided to start the indiana jones franchise together. 

you didn’t know what it was. the tousled hair? the way his arm was casually tugging you into to his side, covering your entire side as you cuddled closer into him? the way he was only a breath away from you? the look in eyes when he tears his eyes away from to look at you with the sweetest gaze?

everything. all of the above. you lean up to peck him swiftly on the lips. 

jeno freezes, eyes going round as his entire face turns bright red. it was hard to think that just two months ago, jeno had been walking around with a girl on either side of him at a frat party, the promise of a good night hidden in his smile when he looks like a deer caught in headlights at the slightest sign of physical touch.

“did - did you just kiss me?” he stutters, and you shrug playfully, looking back the movie in front of you. he shifts you so that you’re facing him, unable to look away as he turns to face you.

“i thought we’re taking it slow?” he asks and you smile coyly.

“a month and a half of dating wasn’t enough to convince you that i actually like you the way that you like me, jeno?”

that’s all jeno needs to hear because no sooner do you say this does jeno dip his head to press his lips to yours, gentle and undemanding. he’s soft and careful, almost as if he were afraid that you were going to disappear if he chased after you too hard.

but you’d been waiting long enough and this was jeno so you pull away from him, a horde of butterflies settling in your stomach when he chases after your lips, eyes still closed, as if he couldn’t bear to part from them.

“jeno, i’m going to do something and you have got to tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” you whisper against his lips softly and jeno nods, opening his eyes so that you can see the look of absolute love and trust in them.

you get up and hook your leg over both of his so that you were effectively sitting on his lap, poised dangerously so that you could part from him at the slightest sign of discomfort. it never comes, though because as soon as you do this, jeno pulls you in closer so that his chest was pressed flush against yours.

“are you sure?” he says, confirming for the last time as you see the last strings of his resolve snap.

“god, jeno, i love you. now please just kiss me.”

his lips are pressed against yours the second the words leave your mouth, a little rougher and more insistent than last time. his arms are wrapped around your back and waist, eyes closed and you lose yourself in the feeling of being so close to him.

needless to say, that night had been a long night.

+++

“i look like an idiot,” your boyfriend complains, checking himself out in the mirror of your vanity anyway. you giggle, pressing a kiss to his temple so that you don’t mess up his make-up, carefully dodging the stray glare that he offers you.

“you look beautiful, jeno. and besides, this is for a good cause, remember?” you remind him as you make sure that your costume looks good as well.

“i don’t remember what me dressing up as a spandex wearing animated character has to do with changing the world, but alright,” jeno grumbles, shifting uncomfortably as his ‘uniform’ seems to cling to all the wrong places.

“you say that now but you and i both know that the moment you see those kids at the hospital, you’re a sucker. tell me you aren’t going to practice your mr. incredible in the car,” you say cheekily, and jeno is unable to refute that. ever since you and him have been dating, you have often dragged him to events such as these.

at first, they were rather simple things, almost as if you were testing the waters with jeno. for example, when the two of you went on a date to a zoo in the beginning of your relationship, you casually mentioned that many zoos that didn’t treat their animals with love and respect.

then, soon after, you asked him to sign a ‘take down unethical zoo practices!’ petition. and then from there, jeno found himself at a protest to rally for the rights of beluga whales. 

not that jeno had anything against whales (he actually came to be quite passionate about the mistreatment of them the more he went to these events), but the fact that you took the world’s issues to be your issues was simultaneously your biggest character flaw and strength.

and he loved you all the more for it.

“you know who you are?” jeno says, swiveling around in the chair to mean mug you. “you’re woo young woo from that one kdrama. and i’m that poor unsuspecting boyfriend who wants to spend time with his girlfriend but ends up at a whale protest anyway. that’s what cute girls like you and her do; you get our attention, make us fall in love, and then ba-bam! you use us as a bodyguard and backpack carrier at protests and rallies!”

you roll your eyes, leaning down so that you were now eye level with jeno, the both of you lovingly aware that the banter between the two of you was not a symbol of actual annoyance but rather, mutual appreciation. you, for having so much empathy. jeno, for being so patient.

your heart swells when jeno looks at you with such loving eyes, trust and admiration swimming behind his façade of annoyance. you lean forward, pressing your lips to his, involuntarily smiling when you feel jeno’s lips curve upwards as well.

he hums softly, pulling you close so that you’re practically sitting on his lap. gentle and strong. a little callous, but only so that the butterflies in your stomach seem to be rebelling against the confines of your stomach, as if they too want to be showered in the love of your kindhearted and wonderful boyfriend.

you want to melt into his embrace, as you usually do whenever you’re near jeno, but your phone buzzes and you sigh, pulling away from your boyfriend reluctantly.

“that’s jaemin. he’s asking, and i quote, ‘what the fuck are you guys doing i’ll whoop your ass if you don’t come soon i hate this fucking gru costume and the kids keep asking where you are’. you think we should get going maybe?” you say, raising your eyebrows at the series (of rather graphic) of emojis that depict you and jeno conveniently being pushed off a cliff.

jeno snorts at his best friend’s antics, his touch lingering on your waist as he leaves to go start the car. he waits for you to finish responding (with a threatening message of your own) before extending his arm without even looking, waiting for the comforting weight of you clinging to his arm as the two of you leave your shared home, walking into the buttery evening.

it truly couldn’t get much better than this.

[vacayisland]

Could you do a John Dory x Retired Singer/Musician Reader? Pls and thank you

(I loved meet the wifie I fucking cackled at "imma beat his ass!")

@!; Oldies are always better. John Dory / Retired! Reader

"Tag List"! @writergal02 @chamille-trash @valvalentine69 @starzwithapen @ykvlanq @apieceofcathair3 @kitthefanfickat

ꨄ︎. You were a big alt-indie musician, making music that tended to have a little bit of everything; the funk and beat of the funk tribe and the techno tribe, the guitar riffs and drum solos from the rock tribe, some classical instruments as undertones, and pop-like lyrics and beats. All the while you also put your own spin on it. Music had always been an outlet for you, always allowed you to take what was in your head and thread it into sound for everyone to hear. Sometimes it was chaotic, sometimes it was mellow, and it always depended on your mood when writing, composing, and singing. It's usually was drew people to your music. It was down to Earth, yet also complex and simple at the same time. Those who wanted to dive into the meaning of your music and dissect it would find multiple layers, many undertones that all harmonized. Those who just wanted to vibe out to your music could do that as well.

ꨄ︎. When you had left your career behind, it wasn't because of anything bad. You left with one final song in which explained that you were stepping down to let the new generation to find their own flow, to let other people take the stage, to be able to sit back and enjoy everything that will come in the future. You were only around 24 when you put down your guitar for the final time for the public; But you never gave up music for good on your own. While you never published anything anymore, you kept writing and composing for yourself as it was truly your passion.

ꨄ︎. This is when JD found you, playing in a friend's cafe. You had caught his attention right away, so much so he didn't hear the waiter when he had asked for JD's order. He was honestly so captivated by you for a moment he wondered if you were some sort of siren. He soon realized, yeah no you weren't, you just were really, really good. And he needed your number, badly. And that sounded a little creepy, but when you see someone who's not only good looking but knows how to sing and play an instrument all in one? You don't miss that chance to talk them up, and JD was defiantly not missing his chance!

ꨄ︎. JD didn't see a ring on your finger, it was fair game for him. Luckily you hadn't been seeing anyone at the time, but you still gave him a reality check after he approached you as though he was the coolest guy on the planet; Introducing himself before using some sort of cheesy pick up line to get your number. "Hey, babe, my name is John Dory and you seem rather lonely. You know, I can fill that 'me' shaped hole in your heart if you give me your number!" And then he winked!? Your friend was flabbergasted. You thought he was really brave.

ꨄ︎. And you hate to admit that his stupid pick-up line (which didn't even seem like a pick-up line!) actually worked and he got your number. (And he would be so smug and proud about this fact for the rest of his life.)

ꨄ︎. You two talked for a few months before making anything official, and then you waited about a year or two before you two even thought about moving in together. Even so, by 6 months of dating you basically lived in Rhonda; Your stuff littered his home, you had your own set of clothes there, your own toothbrush, and even your own house slippers. Then when you moved in, it felt natural. It felt like this was where you were always meant to end up and somehow the planets aligned. And for some reason JD never noticed the fact you brought in an electric guitar, which also sat in your shared closet. Sometimes you wonder if he's just stupid or a little blind, because he's also seen your play.

ꨄ︎. Either way, one day when he was hoisting his brothers over (after the whole Floyd situation got resolved, and god you were kind of glad you were staying with friends during all of that; not because you didn't like his brothers but because you didn't think you could handle meeting his family during that whole situation.) when they heard you playing your guitar in the bedroom. You weren't doing anything fancy, mostly tuning the guitar and making sure the strings didn't need to be replaced. But, of course, that always had to include one of your most iconic guitar riffs from a song about fighting your crushing mentality during the lowest part of your career. "Holy shit dude, I didn't know your lover listened to (Y/N)!" Branch would be the first to comment, being the most diverse music listener in the family. Floyd, who had been distracted by the riff, perked up at the conversation and nodded in agreement. JD only gave them a confused look, leaning against his kitchen counter, "Dude, my lover is (Y/N)?" And JD wasn't sure what to expect, but it wasn't all four of his brothers stopping and staring at him completely baffled. Mostly Floyd and Branch, who soon yelled a rather loud, "WHAT?!" "What?!" Which only confused JD more.

ꨄ︎. You hadn't met JD's family before this point, but you've heard all about them; Not only from JD, when he told you about his band days, and when you heard them around the trailer when they would come over. Usually you stayed in the bedroom, not to be rude yet to just let JD have his time with his brothers. Yet, you couldn't understand what all the yelling was about, "Yo, Que te pasa? Why the hell are you guys yelling?" You would ask, poking your head out of the door to the bedroom. Your expression tired, your hair messier, yet you could care less at this moment; You were sure JD's brothers wouldn't mind, they would see you worse later on since you were planning to stay with that big doofus. "Oh my god-" You flinched when Floyd dropped the cup he was holding, his jaw dropping upon seeing you; And honestly, for a second, you forgot you used to be a big artist. "John Dory," You started, startled by the reactions his brothers were giving, "Vas a decirme lo que esta pasando ahora mismo."

ꨄ︎. JD is always a little intimidated when you speak Spanish, mostly because his Grandma used to scold him and his brothers in Spanish. So he only explained (rather quickly) how his brothers had heard you tuning your guitar in the bedroom and how they just got weird. And that's when Branch defended himself, along with Floyd, how JD never told them that you were his lover! "And what's it to you that I love your brother?" You shot back quick and snappy, crossing your arms as you shot a glare their way. You weren't above throwing hands with JD's brothers. Floyd noticed the way JD glanced away, sipping his coffee. He was quick to stand up, placing a hand on Branch's shoulder to calm him, before explaining the whole situation to you better; Saying how Branch and Floyd were just big fans of your music and they didn't realize that you were with JD, because no matter how much JD spoke about you he never told them that you were his lover.

ꨄ︎. "Oh, Mierda lo siento." God, this made things a little awkward, "I thought you were about to be one of those horrible step-siblings that didn't like his brother's lover for some dumb reason like my hair." "What? No!-" "No, yeah, I see that now. My bad, really sorry." You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, "JD can be really, really dense sometimes, shut it John Dory!," You pointed a finger at JD before he could make a peep in protest about your slight insult, but it was made out of full love. "Let's start over, hi I'm (Y/n) and it's really nice to meet you."

ꨄ︎. Safe to say, JD forgot to tell his brothers that he was dating an old sensational artist...and kind of forgot you were one and was very shocked to realize this! Furthermore, you were a little flabbergasted when he revealed that some of BroZone's songs were influenced by your music. You would stare at JD after he confessed such a large secret, "Wow... that's a big insult." You mumbled sarcastically under your breath. "EXCUSE ME?!" But you guessed JD missed the sarcasm. "I'm being sarcastic, love. That's kind of sweet." Playfully rolling your eyes, you pressed a kiss into JD's cheek before turning back to his brothers. You crossed your legs, rested your elbow against your knee, and held your face in your hands. "Now about you four, how about we get to actually know each other. I'm planning to remain in this family after all..."

ꨄ︎. Safe to say that JD is wifing/husbanding/etc. you up really quick.

ꨄ︎. He still brags about how he first got your number and how he managed to 'snatch you up' before anyone else could. You told him he's too old to use new lingo and to stop, lovingly of course as you didn't want your 'husband' to embarrass himself. He melted hearing you call him husband before getting a bigger ego boost; And you had fun watching him terrorize his siblings while his ego was so inflated. You even jokingly did the whole 'I'm watching you' eyes to one of his brothers (Clay) as a silent threat that this is how you were always going to hand JD off to them like. He gave you the biggest (playful) stink eye ever. Yeah, you're going to fit right into this family.

.ᐟ this work is published and owned by @vacayisland. please do not plagiarize, copy, or steal this work; like, reblogs, and saves are appreciated :D

[slasherx]

Thomas Hewitt relationship HC's

Content: Thomas Hewtt x gn!Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence, manipulation from Hoyt, possessive and jealous behavior, brief mention of sex but no actual NSFW, so 17+

Notes: My first slasher fic! Pls be nice, it's my first time writing for our boy Tommy

Lets skip over meeting him for now. If anyone wants to know how I think Thomas would meet and fall in love with his S/O, just shoot me a request!

Thomas would be very cautious at first. Not because he doesn't trust you, nono, he'd HAVE to trust you before getting in a relationship first

He's cautious because he doesn't know how to control his strength around you, and doesn't want to cross a line. You're his first and likely his only partner in life, so he doesn't want to lose you

Thats another thing - he's super scared that you'll end up seeing how much better you can do and leave him. If not for how ugly he thinks he looks, then for the fact that his family are cannibals.

This leads him to be very jealous and possessive. If another man comes near you, he's behind you in an instant if he can be, glaring them down and practically tearing them apart with his eyes

If he finds you flirting with another man, he'll be angry with you beyond belief. Would probably give you the silent treatment for a week, and he's already mute, so that's saying something (I tease)

Probably wouldn't be super touchy, he's been hit his whole life, and I believe the Hewitt's would use physical disciplinary methods growing up, which means Tommy would've most likely been hit by his family too. Nowhere is safe for this poor man

He wouldn't mind if you were touchy though, it would just take him a while to get used to it

He doesn't mind if you don't get along with Monty or Charlie, that's kind of a given, especially if you're a woman or fem presenting, but he wants you to get along with his mother so BADLY

He definitely would not say "I love you" first, he would wait for you to say it, even though he'd most likely fall in love with you first

He'd do anything for you. He'd kill for you, beat someone for you, talk shit about someone for you, etc. He'd basically drop anything for you. Aside from his family, you are his first priority.

This can lead to fights between you and Hoyt. Hoyt doesn't think Tommy should be loyal to "a good for nothing slut like you" above certain members of his family, since you're technically still an outsider

Tommy will butt into these arguments and have your back, but the first time this happened, Hoyt had managed to get into his head and make him doubt you. Yeah, safe to say that never happened again

Tommy wouldn't feel comfortable sharing a room until you were farther into your relationship, and it would take even longer for him to take off his mask around you

When he does finally take his mask off around you, he expects you to yell and scream, to call him ugly. But when you don't, and you even call him handsome? Oh he is melting into the floor

That's when he starts to develop an unhealthy obsession with you. He was in love with you before, but now that he's shown his rawest form to you and you still loved him above all else? Oh he's in LOVE love

He refuses to leave you alone, and this is probably around the time you guys first have sex. He wanted to wait until you were married like his Mama asked, but he just couldn't help himself.

This is getting kinda long, so if you guys want a part two or something, be sure to request!

• ───────────────── •

Here's my masterlist, in case you like what you see and want to request more!

[snaillock]

could I pls ask for a boyfriend's Nagi x male reader? like him having a weakness for the reader and being like a puppy with him? idk if I'm explaining myself idk how to put it in words 😭 I love blue lock and there's almost no x male reader with them so I'm excited to find this sorry 😓

nagi x male!reader

AHHH my first request!! tysm for asking i would love to make this! i also got curious and only found like three nagi x male readers (two of which were smuts that i was too uncomfortable to read☠️) but don't worry im here to save the day. this also ended up being a lot longer than expected but still really hope you enjoy!! ^^

tags: male reader, sad nagi backstory moment, me getting too carried away with build up again

you were one of the few people who didn’t look at nagi like he was some anomaly. while others in your school would steer clear and gossip about him behind his back, you were one of the only people who spoke to him and treated him like an actual person and not some freak of nature

you would try to talk to him in class but he wouldn’t talk back (since “talking is such a pain”) so you assumed you were bothering him and eventually stopped.

nagi eventually noticed you wouldn’t talk to him in class anymore and it didn’t bother him at first. but eventually he finds himself missing it and would make the rare effort of trying to initiate conversations with you.

that led to you guys talking every day during class. the more you two spoke, the more you realized how much you had in common with him. you soon asked him if he wanted to come over to hang out.

he usually rejects any hang-out offers from literally anyone. though when you asked him if he wanted to come over to your place to play video games together, he accepted because he found you to be less of a hassle to be around compared to others.

when he came over, he realized he actually really enjoys being around you and had fun spending his time playing games with you. he even took a look around your room to admire all the things you’ve collected that represent your personality and interests. this only made him more captivated by you and wanted to be much closer friends

now for the exciting part

once some time has passed and you two got closer, you soon find out he’s a shamelessly clingy person both emotionally and physically.

whenever he would see you, he randomly wraps his arms around you and latch onto you. he hates being forced to let go whenever you two have to go to class.

he gives absolutely zero fucks about being publicly affectionate with another guy in school, paying no mind to the weird stares and whispers

he constantly wants to stay over at your place and when you come over to his for the first time, he introduces you to choki (a hugeeee moment for him trust me)

nagi truly loves being with you. at first, he didn’t care about being an outcast until you showed up in his life and showed him what true friendship and love was like

soon his feelings for you as a friend develops into something much more unfamiliar before he can realize it. falling in love was definitely a new experience for nagi and falling in love with you specifically was a slow delicate process

he definitely didn’t realize for a while that he likes you in that way until he finds himself admiring you as you somehow have soft lighting all over your face and pink flowers and hearts circling your head (all in his imagination my boy is completely whipped). he then thinks, “hmm this feels like one of the shojo mangas i’ve read befo- ohhhhh!”

once the initial shock is over, he’s already bold enough to confess to you quickly after. i can imagine him suddenly telling you how he feels in the most random scenario ever.

it would be so out of nowhere. you guys could be out walking in the park. you casually sip out of your bottle when he nonchalantly says, “wanna be my boyfriend?” with his signature neutral face, making you choke and cough on your water.

he would then elaborate on how much he likes you with the plainest face ever like it was a regular tuesday conversation. the one difference is the light flush on his cheeks and you can definitely tell that he truly means all of it. so once you stopped coughing, you obviously accept his confession

if you thought he was already pretty damn clingy prior to you two becoming a couple, then be prepared for that to increase tenfold

holding hands isn’t enough for him, ideally he needs to be super glued onto you permanently for the rest of his life

you guys are definitely the couple people gag at when they see you both curled up cuddling each other in the hallway.

once again, he gives absolutely no shits. he needs to show off what an amazing boyfriend he has so he’ll never tone it down on the pda

on the very very rare occurrence that you're not with him and you happened to be talking to someone else in the hallway, he sees this and immediately gets a little possessive. so he walks up right behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on you. you assume he's just being needy again and find it cute, completely unaware of how he's now glaring deep into that person’s soul from over your shoulder. i mean you’re his man and his man only so everyone needs to know.

he requires you to pet and run your fingers through his hair for a low minimum for uhhh 2000 times a day. you swear that he purrs every time you do it but when you try to listen out for another one, he already fell asleep on your shoulder

whenever you guys are cuddling either at his dorm or your place, he just lays his entire body weight onto you like a heated blanket while resting his head on your shoulder with your fingers carded through his hair. if you try to gently nudge him off so you can get up and use the bathroom, he audibly whines and eventually relents. he totally tries to follow you into the bathroom after that.

whenever you compliment or praise him, he looks totally unaffected but internally, he’s jumping around screaming. meanwhile, he will randomly drop the most endearing and beautiful arrangement of words at you in a completely neutral voice and just move on with his day like you didn’t just witness the most flattering thing you’ve ever heard.

loves whenever you randomly grab his chin and give him a short but very sweet kiss.

nah actually scratch that. nagi loves kisses from you anytime anywhere. fleeting cheek kisses before you both head to class. kisses on his forehead as you hold him close under the covers. drawn out victory kisses you both finally finish a difficult match together. no matter what it is, he always helplessly melts into each one.

before you appeared in nagi's life, his world was just one big dull pain he simply had to push through every day. now that he had you by his side, he finally had the motivation to get out of bed every day.

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc

summary: we’re still in america 🗣️ . let’s party with nadia, shall we?

warnings: outfit descriptions, cussing, social media environment, slight jealousy, typos, links to tag are down below and let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

saint’s team radio 🎀: let’s not talk about how long overdue this chapter is, okay? 🫶🏽 hope you guys enjoy and i hope y’all missed Lewdia as much as i did!

pls like, comment and reblog!

fc: @/unclewaffles_ on ig!

pic cred: pinterest. dividers: @cafekitsune

-

With the jingle of the house keys, the pair laughed into the night as Nadia carried her heeled boots in her hand. Lewis held onto her as she was on his back, his kind self offering to carry her since they left the arena.

"Out of all the songs they could've used, why'd they choose old school Drake when we showed up on the jumbotron?" She chuckled, removing the last of her tears of laughter with her thumb. "Nah, I'm still on the baby who wouldn't let go of you during halftime. Your jewellery was like the most interesting toy ever." He smiled at the memory, someone randomly handing Nadia their baby and started taking pictures.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to that many cameras around me. The kids back at work are gonna have so much to say.” She admitted, watching the large front door open up and the entry hall greeted them. Nadia tapped his shoulder and he took that as sign to let her get on the ground. “Thank you for the piggy back ride, Sir.” She smiled and turned on her secret sock covered heel to enter the house.

He’ll never admit how much he loves when she calls him sir. Maybe one day he will, maybe he won’t.

Although sad that Roscoe wasn’t there to greet them due to him getting to be with his other dog friends, Nadia pushed that to the back of her mind and thought of her Gucci sandals for the comfort of her feet. “If we ever go anywhere where you know i’ll be cheering, please remind me to take my sandals with me.” She said out loud, slowly heading upstairs when an idea popped into her head.

The night was barely over and ending it so awkwardly didn’t sit well with Nadia.

“I have a feeling that you’re plotting something.” He stated, standing still waiting to hear what she could possibly come up with.

“Would you be up for ice cream right now?” She smiled while turning around to face him from the bottom stairs.

“At this time? Wouldn’t most shops be closed by now?” Lewis asked, confused by the idea but he knew he didn’t want to decline it.

“We could take a drive to find out,” The smile on her face was mischievous. “The night is way too young for us to come back from a game and sit in the house in silence.” She continued.

After a beat of silence, he had made his decision. “Let’s go change and you’re driving.” Lewis gave in. He felt it was right to let Nadia lead such activities, getting her used to such a busy lifestyle.

She walked out of the guest room with a basic athle-leisure romper and the same simple gold jewellery from earlier and her uggs were hugging her feet. “Hey Lew? Do you have a hoodie I could borrow?” She called out as she reached his room door that wasn’t closed all the way. Although not answering her, he walked out with a hoodie that smelled exactly like him, seemingly from Dior. Only written “CD” on the top left of the hoodie and just like she preferred all her hoodies, it was oversized.

“Dior? Are you crazy? I could stain this.”

“We have a laundry room downstairs, Nads. I could always buy another one and the whole store for you.” He slightly smirked.

“If that’s not the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.” She jokingly put her hand on her chest and they burst into laughter a few seconds after.

Sitting in the almost empty ice cream shop, Sweet Oasis, the two were on their second sugarcone bowl of their respective ice cream flavours. Nadia with cookies and cream and Lewis with vegan vanilla. The first round of desserts were deemed free by the all too excited cashier who was a big fan of Lewis.

“So in hindsight, Mission 44 is to help uplift the youth into STEM spaces including f1. Man, that’s so cool and to hear it growing so fast makes me feel proud.” Nadia nodded as she played around with her ice cream.

“Thank you, I really want to expand even further in different countries such as Brazil and surprise surprise, South Africa.” He chuckled at her face once mentioning her country of origin. “You’re already in my good books, Sir. Once you meet my friends and Rea then maybe you’ll be in the top five.” Nadia smiled, biting down on the wooden spoon.

“What are your friends like? Feel like I have to prep myself to meet them.” Lewis joked by moving his shoulders around. “They’re really cool and incredibly funny. They tried their best to make me famous but looks like I did that all by myself.” She teased.

Taking another bite of the ice cream, she spoke again. “The boys will try and intimidate you, especially Chunks and Filly. The girls will be welcoming, just always bring chocolate with you.” Nadia informed him, smiling at the thought of her friends.

“Then Rea is like my child although she’s my cousin. She’s gonna stay with my mom while she finishes year 12 but I think I might just take her in, I miss her too much.” She said, not wanting to let him know all about the tension with her mom just yet.

Looking at the McLaren that Nadia drove to the ice cream shop, Lewis could tell that she wanted to switch topics because of the tone in her voice and her completely avoiding eye contact with him.

“Do you want to talk about something else?” He asked and all she did was nod. She mouthed a thank you to him afterwards, feeling herself become safe with him. “So we’ve got quite the week ahead of us. Rhode, Hailey Bieber’s skin company, is hosting a party and we were invited.” He spoke.

“You wanna give me a heart attack or something, dude? I’m gon’ be around the Biebers? I still haven’t recovered from Beyoncé!” She replied, whispering the last words to him so that the few people around them wouldn’t be able to hear them.

He grinned at her reaction, her dramatic excitement along with her smile that she would always try hide would always make him feel something in his heart. He didn’t want to think that far. Lewis wouldn’t allow himself to think that far.

“Then the big news that Tia shouted at me to tell you is that we’re going to a Versace event in Cannes on Tuesday I think. Then it’s the Monaco gp which is a spectacle on its own.” He informed then chuckled at her putting her head in her hands.

“Your surprises are going to send me to the hospital one day, what do you mean Versace? That’s like a lifelong dream for me, dude.” She expressed, not sure whether to feel excited about experiencing all of these things or terrified for the busy schedule.

Finishing the last of his ice cream, he pushed the cup to the side and held out both his hands towards Nadia. Taking the sign to put her hands in his, he held them tightly. “Are we bout to pray right now? It’s a little too late for that, the ice cream’s done.” Nadia joked, looking i between their hands and his face.

“Nads.” Lewis started. “Sorry, serious stuff now.” The man couldn’t resist the smile on his face as she joked around, revealing more of her personality to him.

“My life gets incredibly busy, even I get exhausted. So, you don’t have to be everywhere with me. It would be cool to see how you do things while we’re at all these events but you need your time to yourself, y’know?” He continued.

Nodding her head, she spoke up. “Yeah no, I get you. It’ll take some time to get used to everything and I don’t mind the travelling, you’re cool to be…around. Pookie, we gotta go.” Nadia’s eyes were concentrated on whatever was going on behind Lewis.

“Don’t look back, they’ll know we’re watching them. Let’s just get up and go to the car.” Nadia said, still holding his hands and she put on a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

And as she said, the pair stood up and threw away their trash, saying goodbye to the worker whilst ignoring the flashes from the large window shops. She lifted her hood before walking out the door that Lewis opened for her and the flashes tripled. Looking at her husband, he already had his sunglasses on and dug in his pocket to give her the car keys.

Once in the McLaren, the car front was surrounded by the paparazzi but the tinted windshield gave them a little bit of privacy. In the driver’s seat, Nadia took out her phone and connected her phone to the car after igniting the engine. “Have you heard of Amapiano?” She asked him, watching him get comfortable being the passenger.

“Uh, kinda. Why?”

“Wanna take a lil drive and listen to it?” And there was her mischievous smile once again. Before he could get his answer out, different beats started playing until the beat started to flow and the artist started singing in a different language that Nadia clearly knew very well.

Rolling down the windows a bit, she reversed the supercar and drove off, leaving the paparazzi speechless.

-

nadiahamilton

liked by lilymhe, nataliatheedon and 484,828 others

nadiahamilton rhode ready &lt;3

view all comments

loriharvey i’m actually obsessed with you, i can’t wait to meet you

nadiahamilton i’m too excited

lewishamilton you’re so welcome for me curling the back of your head

nadiahamilton sleep with one eye open, pookie 🫶🏽

user blasting amapiano at night while driving to you is cool?

nadiahamilton it’s one of the best things i’ve ever done

user it’s just unnecessary publicity

nadiahamilton you wanted to be in the car with me, didn’t you?

justineskye your face card is insane, i’m hyperventilating

nadiahamilton that’s all you 🥹

user mother

user it’s still weird that you guys are here praising a woman who spawned out of nowhere

user like why is no one talking about this???

user it’s very simple. they’re married and she’s only showing herself to the public now

haileybieber i want to be your mirror, just stare at you forever

lewishamilton that’s what i’m there for!

beyonce 💗

user WAIT WAITTTT HOW TF

user THERE’S NO WAY BEYONCÉ COMMENTED

user NADIA YOU BETTER SPILL

nataliatheedon 5,6,7 what?!

amarawinston ATEEEE

charlotteparks my friend is so super stunning

nadiahamilton awww you guysss 🤭

user idk what he sees in her, she barely is dressed

yungfilly come back to the UK nads, it isn’t the same ☹️

nadiahamilton i willllll, i’m just doing stuff with my husband 😝

chunkz tell him to come back as well 🫵🏽

lewishamilton 👋🏾

chunkz ay big ups brotha, the champion 🙏🏽

nadiahamilton chunkz pls 😭😭😭

user does anyone know if she’s got a studio for styling??

user i actually don’t know if she does

centralcee not yet, she works through emails and shit

user and how tf would YOU know

ajshabeel alr, pack it up cench 😐

user WHAT’S THE BEEF? THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

user please come back home to south africa 🇿🇦

nadiahamilton ofc i will 🥹

versace 🪩💗

-

“How do you do that? So easily too?” Lewis questioned as he read through her instagram comments. The way she casually spoke to everyone as if they were long time friends was absolutely fascinating to watch.

“It’s a technique I learned from my kids. I always want them to be comfortable in class especially when it’s a tough topic like post-Renaissance.” She shrugged her shoulders like it was nothing and continued to fluff her hair a bit more.

The two, coincidentally, were matching in colours. Nadia’s corset wasn’t too tight but it complimented her jewellery and she felt comfortable wearing such short shorts because the high top Rick Owen sneakers were just the right fit. Her Dior saddle bag sat next to her as they rode in the back of the Escalade.

And of course, they were both wearing their grillz.

“Thank you for introducing me to Amapiano fully. I can’t get any of the songs out of my head.” He said, constantly bouncing his hands on his legs to whatever beat he was thinking of. “It’s addictive! I told you, sthandwa.” She smiled softly but didn’t see him whip his head towards her.

“…What?”

“Oh! It’s a term of endearment from South Africa, it means ‘love’ then sthandwa sami is like my love. Just like how you brits say love.” Nadia explained. Lewis definitely heard everything she said but he was hooked on how she said it. If he thought that hearing songs with her native language was addictive, he could most definitely get used to hearing her speak it.

“Just to clarify, it’s Zulu. Whereas in Sotho, it’s something completely different. Don’t worry, I’ll teach you so that you don’t fuck up when we go to sa.” She chuckled but then stopped in her tracks.

“That’s if we do ever visit, don’t want to be too forward.”

“Of course we’re going to South Africa, are you kidding? I feel like I’ve just discovered a whole new world.” Lewis assured, basically jumping in excitement.

“What have I created?” Nadia joked to herself.

-

Although she knew that this was Hailey’s event and she knew that it was going to be full, Nadia didn’t expect it to be this full.

Leaning into Lewis as they walked through the crowd of paparazzi and hired photographers, she turned to him a little more. “I feel severely underdressed with my sneakers.” She worried. “You look amazing though, your feet are still not fully healed from yesterday right?” Lewis asked as discreet as possible.

“I mean I knew damn that I wasn’t going to wear heels because of yesterday.” She replied, waving to the photographer calling her and Lewis’ name. All of this was very weird. It felt weird to just be called by paparazzi.

“Exactly, so you’re cool. As long as you feel comfortable and you feel good, then I’m good.” He reassured her.

Before she could answer, they had reached the door and there was a girl standing with cocktails on the tray she was holding. They thanked her but politely declined to it and entered and the atmosphere inside was lively.

The colour scheme for Rhode was beige and other earthy colours which fit the aesthetic perfectly of the decor of the event. Sow r&b music was playing quite loudly while everyone in attendance was talking amongst themselves. As soon as her and Lewis stepped foot inside, many people’s attention went to him and Nadia.

Squeezing his hand a bit tighter, Nadia and Lewis made eye contact and he slightly relaxed because she looked calm but obviously a little nervous.

“Oh my God! The Hamiltons are here!” Someone shouted in a singsong voice and as Nadia was trying to identify who was that, Hailey Bieber and Lori Harvey appeared right in front of them with the the biggest smile on their faces. “Oh my goodness, welcome to Rhode! I’m so excited to see you guys and,” Hailey gasped as she took a look at Nadia.

“Nadia! You’re so beautiful, whoa. Where are my manners? I’m Hailey!” “And I’m Lori and girl, I was serious when I said i’m obsessed with you.” They introduced themselves and their smiles were damn near blinding. “It’s nice to meet you guys, this is exciting.” She smiled, grateful that they couldn’t see how nervous she was.

“Okay okay so let’s go take pictures now then I’ll introduce the products then we party!” Hailey said all too enthusiastically. In all of this, Lewis watched as Nadia interact so gracefully with the same people she was nervous to meet and he couldn’t help but feel proud of her and how she handled everything.

After taking photos with everyone and meeting Justine who damn near fainted at seeing Nadia in front of her, they were seated on their own little table just like everyone and were served hors d’oeuvres during the presentation of the skincare brand.

“How are you feeling?” Lewis leaned in and whispered as one of the products were being shown.

“I’m good, feeling much better. Wasn’t expecting so much love from the girls today.” She leaned over to him as well, careful to not make a noise for other guests.

“I knew they’d love you. And maybe you work with them in the future?” He mentioned, noticing her head resting on his shoulder so he moved a little closer where she could be more comfortable.

“When I get my own studio or truly advertise myself to such a crowd.” She replied. He nodded and she felt it, making her smile a little. “I have the strongest of feelings that there’s an after party when this is all done.” Nadia said, slightly lifting her head to look around the crowd that looked it was ready to party.

“Yup, it’s at their house. It’s like 5 minutes away from home so whenever you want to leave, we can.” And there go the butterflies in her stomach.

-

Walking into the Bieber’s home and seeing how it came alive, Nadia felt like she was in a movie. People who she always thought she would be lucky to see in person were introducing themselves to her and greeted her husband with the most excitement she’s ever seen.

After ‘settling in’ and finding a designated sitting spot to come back to from the dance floor, Nadia could be seen having the time of her life singing lyrics to the group of girls she met earlier including Jordyn Woods. The music shifted from hiphop to Afrobeats and the energy in the whole room was ignited.

Random people that she didn’t know started partying with her and hyped her up after each song. Once Amapiano started rolling in, all eyes were on her as she was dancing but didn’t want to use all her energy. With only a shot in her system, she started feeling rather thirsty and knew that it was time to go sit with her.

As she walked towards their table, she watched as Lewis danced in his seat at the song she was playing earlier in the day. “Now I have to take you to SA. Look at you shimmying.” She laughed as she flicked her hair back and sat next to him on the couch.

“Look at me? You were the party! Miles calls you Ms Party.” He laughed as Nadia saw where he pointed at and there was Miles and Amara but her eyes were closed. “Miles! Hey, damn it’s like i haven’t seen you in forever!” She greeted, opening the water bottle that Lewis saved for her. “And what’s up with Amara? Is she good?”

“I just got here with Amara and she ate two edibles on the way so she’s sleepy.” He smiled, not moving much as Amara was laying on him. “And Abel says hi.” Lewis said, tapping Nadia’s shoulder to catch his attention.

“Abel? As in Abel ‘The Weeknd’?” Nadia asked, gulping her water down as soon as she realised. All Lewis did was nod and just smile at her, their faces quite close already.

“Damn. Let me go find Justine, she got chocolate for me somewhere-” Nadia’s sentence was cut off short because she stood up and bumped into someone. She was still close to the table so she held onto the small table for balance.

Looking up, she saw a tall white man with a very obnoxious smile and recognised his face to be Jack Harlow. “Oh damn, I’m sorry, Ma. I really should watch where I’m going.” Jack apologised, reaching for her left hand and held it in her hand to hold in between his hands.

With her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes watching this man’s actions, she didn’t bother to answer him. “Don’t you feel the ring on my hand?” She fired at him with all lifted brow.

“You’ve got rings all over your hands and by the way, they’re quite soft, damn.” He straightened up his posture to feel on her hand even more. “What’s your name, Ma?” Jack asked with a dopey smile.

Feeling a hand circle her entire waist, she felt her body being pulled down and landed on something that didn’t feel like the couch. Looking down, Nadia was sat on Lewis’ lap. His lap and his hand was still on her waist quite securely.

“Go on, say your name love. He wants to know.” Lewis’ husky voice traveled through your ears and brought chills down your spine.

“Nadia Hamilton.” She managed to get out, shimmying her hand out of Jack’s hold to formally shake his hand. The white man’s face dropped at the sight in front of him. He really tried to flirt with a legendary f1 driver’s wife.

All Jack could muster up the strength to do was nod. “I’ll catch y’all later, it was nice meeting you guys.” He pursed his lips together and walked away.

Turning her head towards Lewis’ face, she resisted the urge to smirk. Deciding to be a little messy, she made herself comfortable on his lap and moved a bit, feeling an even tighter squeeze on her waist.

“You’re gonna be jealous of a lil white boy?” She teased but his smirk could not be wiped off his face. “Never that, Mrs Hamilton.” He responded, knowing he succeeded because she looked away as she was blushing.

“I’m so happy I was awake to see that.” Amara whispered to Miles as they watched their friends catch feelings for each other in real time.

nadiahamilton

liked by bellahadid, sza and 826,828 others

nadiahamilton miss party

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user i’ve never suffered from fomo like this before

user i wish i was an influencer rn

kehlani what can one do to party with you

nadiahamilton come to next week’s race 🫵🏽

kehlani already got the tickets 😝

fencer MISS PARTY 🗣️🗣️

nadiahamilton is this nickname going to stick?

spinzbeatinc you know it!

haileybieber you’re so much fun ily

nadiahamilton ily!!

loriharvey is this a sign to take a girl’s trip to sa?

justineskye i hope so!

ryandestiny can i come? it looked so fun

jordynwoods i’ve already got my bags PACKED

theestallion count me in, i’ll get to know you on the plane ride baby 😝

lewishamilton sthandwa sami 🕺🏽💗

nadiahamilton 😚🫶🏽

user HOW DOES HE KNOW ZULU???

user he’s got a Zulu wife bro

user this is so shocking to see 😭

user this better be a public holiday when they come over

niko now come back and party with us

nadiahamilton can you give me like a week?

ohnosharky this needs a celebration

nellarose_ Nadia’s homecoming if you will!

kingkennytv ‼️‼️‼️

student now you HAVE to spill the tea with us in class

nadiahamilton ugh fine 🙄

amarawinston 🪩🪩🪩🪩

user i was a server at the rhode event and omg you’re gorgeous in real life 😭

nadiahamilton thank you my angel 🤍

user i was a server too and since nobody’s saying it, you’ve got an ASS on you ma’am (i’m a girl)

nadiahamilton tears thank you 🤭

saint’s team radio 🎀 (once again): my fingers hurt from typing. Hope you enjoyed! Lewdia rises once again!

tags: new post

[jinxed-lemon]

Part 2 to my original post of Mean Siblings Unbreakable Bond because it’s funny writing them:

Whenever they play an outdoor game like Hide and Seek or Tag, it’s a battle to the death to achieve victory. Sonic usually wins the most bc he’s the fastest, so the one ace in his sleeve that Tails learned to pull is the waterworks. Sonic find him during hide and seek? Tears. Sonic is close to tagging him? Tails will fall down and pretend to get hurt and start sobbing. Sonic falls for it every time.

Doing laundry? They make it last for hours on end bc they’ll literally take each others stuff out of the wash mid cycle to out their own in. It pisses the other off so much to the point where they’re constantly stopping the wash to switch out the clothes. Oh, Sonic is washing his old blue hoodie??? Too bad, Tails yanks it out of the washing machine sopping wet and drops it on the floor with a splat to put his blanket in. They know that they can probably just wash their stuff together but it’s funnier this way.

They’re play fighting and Tails learned to do that infamous leg kick. You know the move you do when you’re cornered on your back? He just starts kicking his legs at full speed and Sonic starts screaming bc it’s nearly impossible to get past that move.

Sonic is eating chips and he has dust all over his hands? He purposely bypasses the numerous napkins they have just to go up to Tails and wipe his hands over his head to have the chip dust fall on top of him. Tails retaliates by shaking the empty chip bag over Sonic’s head.

Tails is an avid coffee drinker and Sonic has tried everything to stop his addiction. So he tries the famous ‘replace the sugar with salt’ trick to mess with him. One morning Tails puts the salt in instead and when he takes a sip Sonic already had that shit eating grin on his face. Tails immediately spits the coffee in his face and Sonic fall to the ground screaming.

Tails take advantage of his shorter height and sneakiness to kneel down and tie Sonic’s shoe laces. He’ll fall face first and before Tails can book it away Sonic will stick his leg out and make his brother fall too.

Their favorite way to embarrass the other is going onto each others social media accounts and changing something about their profile. Tails logs on one day and finds that his profile picture had been changed to an embarrassing photo Sonic took of him one day and PROMISED not to show anyone else. Sonic goes into his Twitter and for some reason there’s hundreds of posts hyping up Eggman and basically talking about how Eggman is the best/greatest, etc. His profile, header- everything is basically changed to pro-Eggman propaganda.

Fans: are you and Eggman friends now???

Sonic: I was hacked I would never say this shit pls you gotta believe me 😭

Tails LOVES bringing up the ‘divorced parents’ story whenever someone asks about the relationship between him and Sonic. Like Sonic is about to explain how Tails is his adoptive brother and Tails immediately interrupts and says, “Yeah, this is my dad. He got custody of me after the divorce and it’s been really hard lately so try to be nice to him ok? :(“

They’re eating out at a diner/restaurant and Sonic looooves secretly telling the waiters that it’s Tail’s birthday so they’ll do that embarrassing thing of coming to their table and singing happy birthday in front of the whole restaurant. Tails is mortified and covers his face every time and Sonic will record the whole thing like a corny parent and say “Oh he’s just a little shy! Smile at the camera Tails!1!!1!! 😁”

[blakeswritingimagines]

Closer than close

Summary: Not thinking of prince Aemond’s kindness toward you as you thought it was normal, quickly learning due to his attention that he in fact cares for you in a much different way even if you try to deter him.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Word count: 1.6k

Aemond spent months trying to get your attention and make you see him in a different light. He would approach you in the garden, or seek you out in the halls. He would find excuses to speak to you, even if it meant having the same conversation over and over again. When he thought he had found something to talk about, he would often come off as nervous, not making the impression he wanted. He also tried sending gifts, to show his appreciation but they were often left at your door, unopened.

He would often sit near the door to the servant’s chambers, waiting for you to catch his eye. Whenever he saw you, he would go out of his way to talk to you and try to engage you in conversation so he could end your night. He would occasionally surprise you with a small gift to show he was thinking about you, like flowers or a book that he thought you might like. He wanted you to know that he was thinking of you all hours in a day. When you tried to avoid Aemond, he made every effort to seek you out more even forcing others to tell him where you were. He would offer to take you on long walks, or to take you riding through the countryside, to show you how beautiful the world was when sharing it with someone you love. 

Aemond had been trying for months, to no avail. You were obviously uninterested, but now he felt almost angry. He wanted you, and if he couldn’t have you, nothing else would satisfy him. He was tired of trying to win you over. He was tired of being kind and sweet only to get nowhere. He would take what he wanted. He approached you when you were busy doing chores, forcing a smile as he stood before you. “Hello, my love.” he crooned. You sighed as you ran your fingers through your hair feeling tired but knew you couldn't stop and take a break due to not wanting to anger anyone further, taking a deep breath when you heard the same voice that had been trying to talk to you almost everyday now but turned as you looked up at him and nodded your head keeping your voice light and soft "Hello my prince, did you need something?". Aemond’s smile faltered for a moment, surprised by your cool demeanor. You seemed so unbothered by his attention. He quickly recovered, though, and looked into your eyes, his gaze lingering. “Can I walk with you?” he asked, his tone soft and gentle, as it had been every time. “I’ve something important I’d like to discuss with you.”

You softly sighed as you heard his words knowing you couldn't and shouldn’t deny him but spoke as you made it clear "I don't believe I can, your mother has given me more chores and I don't want to anger her by not doing them", you gave him a small smile trying to be nice since you didn't want to anger him anymore either but all you had seen since knowing the prince was hot/cold craziness instead of a real person which didn't help with the whole not trusting him. “Chores? But that can wait, surely.” Aemond was becoming frustrated. Of all the things his mother could have come up with, this is what was keeping you apart. Was there no way for you to be together? Could he just not have you for once? “It will not take long, please?” he begged you. “I need to talk to you privately. I promise.”

Knowing the chores were given to you for simply denying the prince but sighed as you heard his tone, knowing you didn't want too but slowly nodded your head as you wiped your hands on the skirt of your dress as you took a few steps closer to him "Very well your grace, how may I help you?" Having a feeling you knew where this was going but didn't know how much in the other direction he was planning on going to go. Aemond took a slow breath as he closed the distance between you both. When he had come to find you, he had felt angry and fed up with all the delay and resistance, but now his anger had softened to a sense of calm and determination. “I’ve something to tell you.” his voice was still calm and soothing. He had learned after all his attempts with you that anything else brought out your defenses. “I want you to know the way you make me feel.” he spoke softly.

You walked beside Aemond quietly as you both started walking through the gardens keeping your hands down by your sides, looking up at him as you listened to him talk before you sighed feeling as if you had heard everything but wasn't ready for all the details he was about to speak as you stopped and turned to face him thinking it was best to get it over with but felt shocked by his words that he had truly noticed so many little things about you. “Your kindness,” he spoke, his tone soft and sincere. “The way your eyes light up when you smile.” He took a deep breath. He couldn’t keep this secret any longer, not when he felt like he was on the verge of exploding. “My thoughts are that you are beautiful beyond compare. You are kind, gentle, and a true angel straight from the heavens. I am enamored by your personality and your smile is the sweetest sight even if I am not the cause of it. You are like the bright ray of sunshine on a dim and dreary day. I love your very essence. I love your voice, your laugh, and your smell. I love every little thing about you, and the idea that you could one day be mine fills me with joy, warmth, and a true sense of peace. “I’ve dreamed of you…and of us…being together.”

Aemond was still gentle with his words, despite the fact that it was clear he had been holding them in for so long. You bit down on your lower lip as you listened to him as you found the words to be quite sweet, still curious as to why he went out of his way to act so crazy over certain things but gave him a small smile "That's very kind....May I ask you something my prince?".  Aemond noticed that your eyes were full of curiosity, even after his confession. “Anything…” he whispered, his voice shaking slightly. He could not believe he had confessed his feelings. He had no idea what you were going to say in return. He had been trying to be his most polite self, and now he had shown his vulnerable side, something he never let anyone see.You let a sigh slip past your lips as you looked over to the flowers in the garden as you tried to find the right words before you softly spoke "Might I ask why you didn't say that in the beginning? why go out of your way to have me stop speaking to people, or doing certain things or when I can't give you attention or speak with you why you become so cold." 

Aemond took a breath. You would certainly not enjoy the truth behind his actions, but it felt necessary. “Because it was the only way I thought I could make you notice me.” he whispered. He took you by both hands, his eyes begging for forgiveness and understanding. “I know it was stupid,” he said, “but the way I felt about you was far stronger than anything I’d ever felt before. I just wanted us to be together,” he added passionately. Aemond took a moment to consider your question. “I…I don’t know why it was my first thought truly,” he admitted, his voice quiet. “I suppose I was afraid. Afraid that you would reject me. And when you spoke to other people, I felt that you were ignoring the feelings between us. I’m sorry. I don’t want to force anything. I just…would like an honest chance with you.” You felt as if you were at a loss for words. Aemond had touched your heart in a way you could never have imagined. When he spoke of his feelings for you, you felt butterflies in your stomach and warmth in your cheeks. The way he described you spoke directly to your heart. Your mind told you to run, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. Instead, you found yourself drawing closer to him. Aemond’s heart was racing. He couldn’t believe this was happening. All of his actions had paid off. You didn’t hate him, you were just afraid of him, that was all. He looked at you, and saw the same nervous excitement in your eyes that he felt in his chest. You must be feeling what he felt. His instincts were right. 

You could feel how he felt about you. “Will you…give us a chance?” he spoke softly, closing the gap between you.You looked into his soft lilac eye as if trying to see if he was going to be fully honest or not but knew the truth due to how much he kept trying to get your attention, listening to his question as you kept your eyes locked on him even as he moved closer but spoke honestly as you tried to think clearly "I'm still not sure I'm sorry....but perhaps we can go slow?". “Slow?” Aemond’s voice was filled with hope. You had agreed to a chance, and Aemond would take it anyway he could. He moved his face closer to yours, your cheeks almost touching. Your lips were centimeters apart. He could feel your breath and the warmth of your skin. “I’ll do anything…” he whispered.

[pacifymebby]

Hello can I request the peaky blinders x selective mute reader pls, do you think any of them would understand what's going on or are they completely in the dark? And how would you think they would react to hearing your voice for the first time?

Tommy

🌿 Is drawn in by it, thinks you're mysterious, presumes you're like him and that you're just above the meaningless conversations people fritter through at the Garrison or the markets... He thinks you must be deeper than all that.

🌿 So he's endeared to you, but he's projecting this image he has of you onto you, not necessarily seeing the real you at all. He has this view of some, cool and removed, sharp girl...

🌿 But then he tries to speak to you directly and he notices the way you don't look him in the eye, the way you look to your friend for help only to find your friend has unfortunately been stunned into silence by the presence of Tommy Shelby.

🌿When your friend pulls herself together and apologises, and apologises on your behalf too, Tommy doesn't take his eyes off you, because you still haven't looked at him and he knows youre not going to talk...

🌿 Would want to unravel the mystery, get close to you, know you better than anyone else... Hes always very gentle and charming. He's realised now that he might scare you and so he's more careful not wanting to frighten you, never stern or sharp with you the way he often is with others.

🌿 He's persistent as fuck. Often if he sees you in public he'll say hello, he'll talk to you about what he's doing and he'll try to find things to mention about you. He almost always says something complimentary about your appearance, leaves you blushing nine times out of ten.

🌿 Hes always so calm and polite around you, you actually end up seeing and getting to know a completely different Tommy than anyone else.

🌿 It takes a long time for him to win your trust and keep your confidence but as time goes by you begin looking forward to seeing him, secretly hoping he'll come and sit with you in the Garrison. And whenever he sees you he always does.

🌿 Something about Tommy is that he's quite happy to sit in silence, he likes his thinking time, his peace and quiet and he likes just sitting in silence with you, watching the world go by, watching you.

🌿 He feels so pleased when you finally say something but doesnt show how shocked or pleased he is, just smiles softly and replies to you as if you were anyone else... Because he doesnt want to make a fuss and embarrass you and he doesn't want to behave as if your behaviour is abnormal for fear you'll be too anxious to try and speak again.

🌿 Won't rescue you in conversation because he wants you to know you don't need rescuing, that youre capable of speaking up for yourself.

🌿 He gently encourages eye contact, always correcting your gaze when he talks to you. He often cups your cheek in his hand when he's having a conversation with you, its this reassuring contact which also allows him to keep pushing your gaze gently back to his.

🌿 "Look at me angel, thats better... You've got lovely eyes y/n, let me look at you eh?" he's so gentle with you, his voice becomes a reassuring sound and even if you're still quiet with him, you feel comfortable and slowly, slowly Tommy helps you to build your confidence.

🌿 He'll never cut you off. Ever. Every word that leaves your lips is precious to him and he will never interrupt you. He knows that if he does you'll lose your confidence and start second guessing yourself so he always listens to you, always encourages you to finish what you were saying when you trail off or start to get shy and nervous.

Alfie

🐻 Is endeared to you, but concerned for you too. This is a nasty bit of town you're living in and a girl who can't speak up for herself could wind up in all sorts of trouble.

🐻 The first time he meets you he says all that, he's gruff and grumpy and he doesn't realise until its too late that he's making things so much harder for himself.

🐻 Because you're scared of him then, every time you see him you try to slip away and thats very inconvenient because Alfie is actually quite fond of you, and he wants to look out for you.

🐻 He thinks you're adorable and he's sure you must be one of the sweetest girls he's ever met. He wants to hear your voice, get to know you...

🐻 So he has to change his tact, from then on he's a complete softie with you, he's gentle, he's calm and softly spoken, he doesnt grumble or snap and he tries to hard to be friendly, nothing but charming.

🐻 Luckily for Alfie he can do enough talking for the both of you and your silence is hardly noticeable. He will walk with you through Camden Market, or wherever you're going actually (he's impossible to shake because he wants everyone to see you with him so that no one will think of messing with you) and he'll talk and talk and well... Talk at you, telling you all sorts of stories.

🐻 It takes time you do eventually warm to him. You look forward to seeing him and you enjoy listening to him. You find him very funny and he makes you laugh a lot, even though whenever he does you try to hide it or hold it back. His favourite sound in the world is your little giggle muffled by your hands or your sleeves.

🐻 Sometimes he'll get carried away and realise when its already too late that the story he's telling you is actually probably quite scary, its probably intimidating you...so he'll apologise and cough a little awkwardly and try to change the subject to something softer...

🐻 And thats what makes you speak up, one day he coughs and tries to change the subject just when he was getting to the gory details of a story he's telling you about ghosts people say they've seen down Camden Lock. He tries to change the subject and start talking about something else when you cut him off.

🐻 "Wait don't!" you shock yourself and blush immediately regretting cutting him off, you feel all kinds of anxious, expecting him to be annoyed with you but he isn't. Instead he just chuckles and asks "Don't what poppet?"

🐻 You're not sure you can speak up again, losing your voice immediately but Alfie thinks he knows and he chuckles, "you want to know more about the ghosts?" he asks and when you nod he tries to tease you, "say please..." you panic feeling the tightness in your throat until he smiles and shakes his head and gives your hand a squeeze. "Don't worry zieskiet, don't worry I'm just kidding with you, I know... Very cruel of me want it, I'm sorry poppet..."

🐻 Alfie feels a fatherly protectiveness over you, he can tell that youre an intelligent girl, he can see you have so much potential. He wants you to be more confident, wants you to be able to stand up for yourself, speak for yourself. He's sure you have so many interesting things to say...

🐻 He'll kind of daddy you through it, lots of gentle encouragement but also being kind of firm with you too. He'll ask you questions, he'll be soft with you, but he'll wait for you to answer him. He'll be very encouraging.

🐻 He'll constantly reassure you that he wants to listen to you, that your opinions are valuable, that he'll hear you when you talk to him. "All those thoughts you've got floating around your pretty head y/n, the big ones and all the little ones too right, they're important and I wanna hear every last one yeah... You can tell me anything you like, whenever you like right and I, will always be hear to listen to you yeah, cause you're a smart girl, and everything you think and feel yeah, important... Got that?"

🐻 He'll practice conversations with you, like basic every day conversations. And he'll be so laidback about it too, he won't lie or over complicate thingd. "See right, when you go down the market and such and such whatever his name is, yknow the ugly fella with them big fuckin Cauliflower ears, when he asks how you are right... You don't have to actuually tell him the truth you know... You could just say 'fine thanks' or 'perfectly happy mr Cauliflower ears' or 'fuckin miserable leave me alone' you know... Alright zieskiet you practice on me yeah, you pretend I'm mr fuckin Cauliflower ears and you tell me what you wanna buy from my shit little market stall yeah? Well done poppet, see we're gettin there aren't we... "

🐻 Selfishly he has to admit he enjoys the way you'll only talk to him, the way you look to him so dependently. He loves the way you turn to him when youre lost in conversation, feeling scared or overwhelmed. And he'll never let you down. When you look at him with those wide eyes he will always help you, whether that's answering for you (he feeks so proud that you trust him enough to look to him to do this for you) or whether its giving your hand a squeeze and giving you the gentle encouragement you need to find your words again.

Arthur

🍂 Honestly? You make him nervous. Well, silence makes him nervous, not you personally, it's just that you're a very quiet lass and when he's left alone with you he feels under pressure to speak because you never do.

🍂He ends up saying really stupid things, stumbling over his words, getting frustrated with himself and blushing, he would seem shy if he didn't just come out with every thought that crosses his mind.

🍂 "Funny weather we're having ain't it, well you know, not funny, nah, no one finds fucking weather funny do they, you don't see people laughing at the sun do you, nah I meant like... fuck sake I don't know what I meant..." Him trailing off, you watching him curiously, he's quite endearing, not as intimidating as other people.

🍂 Seconds later he starts talking again, "so what brings you to this end of town love? You don't really look like the kind of girl who should be sitting outside my brothers office on her own... now I'm not being rude, I don't mean you look weird or you know.. I don't fuckin know, I'm not trying to be rude lass I promise, I'm just..."

🍂 His awkwardness makes you laugh, you giggle when he gets flustered and so your laugh is the first thing he hears. And he loves it. He laughs with you, awkwardly, but decides he wants to hear your laugh over and over again.

🍂 He thinks you're probably scared of him and his family, and he's not wrong exactly, its just that everyone intimidates you and no matter who you're socialising with its scary.

🍂 So he tries to put you at ease by being gentle, kind and soft. He tries not to swear in front of you but thats quite hard for Arthur since he's got the pottiest mouth in town and he's always getting annoyed and swearing.

🍂 He does a lot of "fuck... sorry love I mean... f.." opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish because he can't think of any other word that isn't a curse.

🍂 And you find this very funny so you do a lot of giggling and he does a lot of blushing and although things are very awkward between you you warm to him very quickly. He doesn't scare you as much as other people even though he should.

🍂 Maybe its his own nerves that put you at ease, the way you can tell that it isn't easy for him either. The fact that he's always embarrassing himself in front of you... it makes you feel like he isn't judging you.

🍂 Arthur understands you a little, even if he doesn't understand exactly what's going on with you. He thinks you're scared/ shy and doesn't necessarily understand that there's more than that going on. He too struggles to regulate his emotions and finds a lot of things about the world quite scary deep down so he empathises with your anxiety and he understands why you always look so scared and overwhelmed. Its how he would look if he was allowed to express himself, if he didn't have to put on the tough guy act all the time.

🍂 The first time you speak to him its because he's said something daft again and is cursing himself for being "such a stupid fuckin dinlow sometimes..." Whenever you hear him put himself down you always want to argue with him but you never build up the courage in time and the moment passes just as awkwardly as it always does. But today it just slips out. "You're not..." you barely say anything at all but those two words fill Arthur with so much joy he can't keep the smile and the blush from his cheeks. He's really proud that you've spoken to him, since you never speak to anyone else around these parts.

🍂 He kind of gets his hopes up then that you're going to do the talking but of course that isn't how this works. He's disappointed at first but you've given him hope with those two words and every conversation he has with you from then on he sees as another opportunity to hear your voice.

🍂 He wants to help you to speak and he tells you that in his own way, "its a shame for you ain't it, I'm not exactly fuckin... shit I'm sorry lass... and sorry about that too I spose, I meant, am not exactly very good at this either am I... conversation like, it ain't really my strong point.."

🍂 but you'd just smile, a warm smile, half a laugh. Enough for Arthur to understand you're enjoying his company, he isn't scaring you, he's making you happy. Which is actually all he wants to do.

John

🌼 John takes it personally, he's heard you talking to his Aunt Pol before, and you talk to Bonnie Gold! But never to him. He thinks it isn't fair and it wounds his ego because he can't understand why you don't like him.

🌼 He becomes convinced it's his fault, that there must be something he's done to upset you. Tries going over everything he's ever said to you but he knows he's only ever been friendly. So then he gets more frustrated and more wounded and he starts getting sulky.

🌼 Probably stops speaking to you, probably avoids you when he can and, when he can't he probably gives you all these sullen glances and sulky looks that make you feel all the more nervous around him.

🌼 In the end Bonnie starts picking on him about it, telling him not to glare at you the way he does. "Girls shy enough as it is and you're not helping are ye..." "That girl doesn't fuckin like me anyway does she..." Bonnie would laugh at him then, "fuckin dinlow."

🌼 When Bonnie explains that you're shy John has a hard time believing him, "if she's just shy..." "she's not just shy... dinlow, its more than that... if you want her to speak to you you have to win her trust... show her you're not gonna make her regret speaking to ye.... that means smile at her steada whatever that sulkings all about eh..."

🌼 John begrudgingly accepts and tries to follow Bonnie's advice but its difficult. He's used to lasses smiling and flirting with him, he's used to girls who take to his charm immediately, but you can hardly even look at him.

🌼 He's definitely the sort to think that giving you little gifts like the odd flower is going to "bribe" you into speaking to him, and whenever these gifts fail to do so he is always surprised (because he's stupid and doesn't learn) and a little disappointed but not deterred.

🌼 He will pester the living daylights out of anyone you do speak to to find out if you ever say anything about him and when Bonnie says "oh aye she asked about you the other day yeah mate..." "What? What did she say?" "Oh god i dont know let me think... I think she said somet like 'here bon, my best friend in the whole wide world, you know John Shelby don't you... Do you know why he won't leave me the fuck alone?"

🌼 John will just blink back at him stunned, realising hes joking when Bonnie splits a grin and starts laughing at him. "Nah she hasn't said anythin but thats probably a good thing..."

🌼 So poor John has to persist, trying not to let it get to him the way you shy away from him. Its as if you're so scared of him and all he wants to do is show you you've nothing to worry about with him.

🌼 He gets really protective over you, always jumping to your defense when someone complains about how quiet you are. If someone says "she makes me nervous..." You're sure to hear John grumble, "here, mate... I'll give you somet to be nervous about..."

🌼 Eventually all his protectiveness, his little gifts, the way he just doesn't seem to want to give up on you, chips away at your anxiety and leaves you feeling comfortable enough to say "thank you," when he gives you a flower, and to ask him what hes giving it to you for. "Pretty girls deserve pretty things I spose..."

🌼 Naturally that embarasses you making you blush and avert your gaze. John wouldn't know whether it was a good sign or not but he'd try his best to think positively. He'd smile and shove his hands in your pockets and say something like, "not much of a talker are you lass? S'alright i can do the talking for both of us..."

🌼 He'll rescue you in conversation, when someone asks you a question he'll answer for you if you look lost. He'll introduce you to new people and he'll make light of the way you can't speak so that its not awkward and no one thinks you're being rude.

🌼 When it occurs to him one day that you just said hello to him first he'll be stunned, he'll grin the biggest grin and probably pull you in for a shocker of a hug. He can't help it, he's really happy but also really proud of you too.

🌼 No one really understands how the two of you came to be so close since you're practically polar opposites but thats because no one else really sees John's gentler side. His carefulness which is reserved only for you.

🌼 He has that natural fatherly worrying instinct, he worries about how you'll cope when he's not there and whenever you're going out with Ada and the girls he gives them strict instructions to look out for you.

🌼 He probably worries that if something happens to you you will be too scared to shout for help so he gives you a whistle to wear around your neck on a little chain. He says if anything happens to you and you can't shout for help you're to blow the whistle.

,🌼 makes you practice because he knows you well enough to know that if it comes to it you probably won't blow the fucking whistle.

Bonnie

🍀 Thinks he might understand whats going on. He's perceptive, he has to be as a boxer and as a peaky boy. He's good at noticing things about his opponents in the ring, when theyre nervous, when theyre worn out... He's good at sensing fear too, he knows exactly how to read his enemies mind, find their weak spots without moving a muscle or saying a word.

🍀 So he notices things about you pretty quickly. He can tell by studying your expression when you're in a group, or when he tries to talk to you that you're scared and uncertain. The way you never look anyone in the eyes, the way you freeze up and try to shrink away into your clothes when someone says your name.

🍀 At first he thinks you're just shy, and to be honest he's not exactly used to shy girls. None of his sisters or any of the girls he grew up with are shy. Quite the opposite actually. So this is unfamiliar territory...

🍀 Even so, Bonnie is an optimistic lad at the very least, obnoxiously persistent in the eyes of those less forgiving. So he doesn't give up. He tries his very best to bring you out of your shell.

🍀 He makes a point of always smiling at you, always meeting your gaze even if only for a second, he speaks to you directly, always makes sure to say hello to you directly even when you're in a group. He doesnt push it further than that at first but over time, when you start to smile back, he starts asking you questions, and when you don't answer he starts answering the questions too, "hows your week been?... Ah well mines been alright can't complain you know... Got a fight coming up you know... Come see me if you like am gonna win in the fourth round..."

🍀 Maybe he's naive but he thinks he can probably trust you with his secrets... Who are you going to tell them to afterall.

🍀 When he feels close enough to you he'll probably make that joke and hope to god you laugh rather than hit him for it.

🍀 The longer this all goes on though the more Bonnie begins to wonder if you're really "just shy" or if its somethint else. Something deeper than that?

🍀 He's extremely patient though and he will rescue you in conversations when he sees you need it, he's actually very protective over you and it genuinely hurts his wee heart when he sees you looking scared and awkward, if he thinks you're struggling he'll swoop in to rescue you, sometimes without even thinking about what he's saying so that he embarrasses himself. But no bother eh, anything to take the pressure is off you.

🍀 The first time he hears you laughing its because he's a embarassed himself in front of the peaky boys. You'd usually feel far too uncomfortable to laugh at anything, choking back your laughter, clenching your fists and holding your breath to keep it inside. But Bonnie makes you feel safe, and you're always just a little more comfortable when hes around.

🍀 So when he says the stupidest thing you think you have ever heard, the giggle just tumbles out of you and doesn't stop. Everyone's looking at you in shock because you've only ever smirked at most in the past. When you realise everyones looking at you you go quiet again but your eyes find Bonnies and the warmth of his smile settles your anxieties and reassures you that everythings okay.

🍀 For as much as Bonnie will always rescue you in conversations and speak up when you can't, he can see how much pain you're in, how anxious you seem to be all the time and he'll want to help you. He wants you to be happy and confident enough to speak for yourself even when he isn't around.

🍀So he'll try his best when its just the two of you, not to rescue you when you lose your words. Instead he'll take your chin with his finger, tilt your gaze back up to his and hold eye contact with you saying something like "go on lovely, what were you going to say?"

🍀 He makes sure you can see he's listening to you. If you're in a group and you try to speak but no one hears you, Bonnie will make sure people hear you and don't forget about you. All these little things build your confidence slowly over time.

🍀 And when you are anxious his hand always manages to find yours giving you a reassuring squeeze. Bonnie is all about showing you he is there for you.

🍀You develop this kind of telepathy almost, a simple look is enough from either of you to make the other laugh or understand exactly what youre both thinking. He'll look to you and roll his eyes when his dad is talking and when you start laughing everyone will know its the two of you up to no good again.

🍀People say he brings out the worst in you, hes a bad influence, but he's the opposite actually and everyone can see how much happier you are when you're with him. His confidence and happy go lucky nature brings out a calmer less anxious side to you and you've never smiled more than when you're with him.

🍀 One of your things is not ever being able to address someone by their name so he kind of craves hearing u say his. And whenever you do he loves it!

Isaiah

🐀It drives him crazy because he knows you can talk. He knows you're just "choosing" not to talk when he's around. He's interjected in conversations in which you were talking to Ada before and literally watched the smile fall from your lips at the sight of him...

🐀So much like John his ego is wounded and he just gets frustrated trying to work out what he's done wrong. Why you don't like him.

🐀It wouldn't actually occur to him that you might be scared of him because he's with the Peaky Blinders. Ada has to point that out to him... But even when she does he just shrugs and says he doesn't understand. "I'm nice? I don't get it, I'm always fuckin nice!"

🐀He copes with his insecurity about you by teasing you, making little jokes about how you never speak. He calls you little mouse because you're so mousy and shy. Ada tells him off for this so many times but trying to laugh at the fact you won't talk to hin is the only way he can be less embarrassed about the fact that you don't like him.

🐀He will be too embarrassed about his insecurity to ask anyone for any real advice, he'll just keep going, making the jokes, knowing hes making things worse.

🐀Finally when he gets you alone one day, he'll get annoyed at the awkward silence between you and suddenly just let everything out confessing everything to you. "I know you don't like me very much sweetheart, know you probably wish I'd shut up and leave you the fuck alone right now eh but I just wanna know what I've done like... Always try me best to be fuckin nice to you don't I but I don't reckon I have been cause you don't seem to have warmed up to me much do you... "

🐀"Yknow I don't mean anythin by any of that stupid shite i say don't you mousy... Truth is i think you're a really sweet little lass, all i really wants well, i dont know... Just a little hello every now and then would do... Just want to feel like we're friends... "

🐀When you still cant respond and you flee he just has to accept it and take the L cause he deserved it for taking the mickey out of you for as long as he has done. Honestly it's going to take such a long time for him to win your trust now.

🐀He'd maybe even need to give you a little space, get used to the fact that you aren't going to speak, accept that you're going to be quiet and shy and that you probably won't even look at him.

🐀He has a lot of learning to do tbh, like he has to learn that your silence isn't a reflection of him, it doesn't mean you don't like him. He basically has to work on his own self confidence (and i mean his real deep internal self esteem not that cocky arrogant front he puts on in front of others) he has to really work on his own sense of self and then look to working on his relationship with you

🐀He goes from being your most frustrating tormenter to your most fierce protector. If he ever catches anyone making jokes about you he'll shoot them down, sarcastically laugh at them all "like she hasn't heard that before cunt..."

🐀I think it takes Isaiah the longest to hear you speak. And then when you finally do he gets shy and paranoid he's going to fuck it up, that hes going to do the wrong thing and you'll never want to speak to him again.

🐀All you said was hello, a simple hello in response to his, that was it. But he forgets how to speak, just looks at you blankly, manages to smile and just sort of repeats himself, says hello again and gets awkward. Which makes you awkward too. You smile but you shrink away because you really need him to lead a conversation.

🐀Pulls himself together in time to say its nice to see you. You kind of just have this awkward conversation where everything he says you repeat back and he has to stop himself from repeating again, you just go round in cirlcles until Ada cuts in and rescues you both.

🐀One day he asks if you can forgive him for having been such a stupid git to you in the beginning and hes so relieved when you nod your head and let him take your hand.

🐀Considering how scared you used to be of him and his stupid jokes you feel so close to him now. No ones ever put this much effort into getting to know you and trying to win your trust.

🐀"You've got a really lovely voice you know," he isn't used to saying "nice" things to people and meaning them, he's usually such an empty flirt, trying to charm lasses into a one night fling. But with you its different and you mean a lot to him.

🐀Still calls you mousy but its affectionate and it becomes this sign of your firm bond. Only he gets to tease you and call you that name, he's earnt the closeness you share and you know he means it affectionately.

🐀Rather than actively helping you to get better at speaking, his boisterous personality and relentless cocky attitude probably rubs off on you. Its hard not to feel a little more confident when you're on Isaiahs arm. He lets you wear his peaky cap sometimes in big groups, it shows everyone youre with him, and he sees it bring out your confidence.

Michael

☘️ I think Michael was shy as a little boy, at least more so than all of his cousins, and then when he was taken from his mother probably even more so.

☘️He probably didn't talk much when he was given to his new family. Even as he got older he probably wasn't the most self assured young lad. In school he probably tried to fit in and did a little, but wasn't particularly loud or popular.

☘️ So when he meets you he recognises that uncertainty in your eyes and understands your social anxieties.

☘️ He wants to give you a hug and tell you it'll be alright, that even if things feel overwhelming for you now, if things feel scary and you feel like you're not capable of doing anything right, or that you don't feel like you fit in... It won't always be like this and if you give it time you'll find your place just like he did.

☘️But this is Michael we're talking about, he bottles all that shit up. Doesn't say a word to you, just watches you and feels that familiar uncertainty curdling inside him. All these things he wants to say and he can't bring himself to say it. He gets anxious because what if he's got you all wrong what if its not like that for you at all.

☘️ In the end its Polly who tells him he should try to get to know you, "you were like her once you know... She could do with a good lad like you to show her a little kindness... Its a cruel world Michael, if you don't nobody else will..."

☘️ So then he feels guilty too. Has to swallow his anxiety whenever you're around. It takes all his will to make himself sit down next to you, to say hello, to keep trying even when you only offer him the smallest of smiles in response.

☘️ But he's a mothers boy isn't he, so what Pol wants Pol gets and she wants him to try so he bloody well tries. And besides, he feels a connection with you, he's felt one from the very first time he saw you in the Garrison with his cousin Ada. He doesnt know whether you feel it to, in fact he knows you probably dont. He feels close to you because he thinks he knows how you feel.

☘️Eventually he gets up the courage to talk to you properly. He finds the whole thing absolutely painful and mortifying, trying to tell you how he used to be like you, so he thinks he understands.

☘️ You can sense how hard he's trying though and that means a lot to you, and you're honestly surprised too because for as much as he's reserved around you, you've seen him with other people, you've seen him charming the girls at the Garrison and you know the reputation he has is as bad as his cousins. So you're surprised when he tells you about his childhood shyness and how it took him a long time to feel accepted anywhere.

☘️ Its encouraging, the way he talks about it too, like its this thing that used to be a huge problem in his life but isn't anymore. You find it reassuring to know that you might not feel this way forever. That one day you too might feel accepted and comfortable enough to talk freely and take up space.

☘️ You don't realise, though you should, that its Michael and his family that are going to make you feel that way. That it will be him that treats you with the warmth and patience that you need to make you feel at home.

☘️ You pluck up the courage to say something to him a few days later, youve wanted to say something to him since he spoke so empathetically and gently to you, its been all you could think of, how to say it, when you'll say it, if he'll even know what you're doing talking about because its been awhile now and he's probably forgotten he even said anything to you at all ect ect... Youre riddled with the anxiety of saying something to him and the more you think about it the worse it gets.

☘️ But you do manage it, even if all you actually say is, "Thank you... For..." when you trail off you expect him to cut you off but he doesn't, he just smiles softly and watches you carefully, trying to work out if you are going to finish your sentence or not. When you stammer and cut yourself off again he puts his hand on your shoulder and gives you a reassuring squeeze.

☘️ "s'alright love, i understand, come on come sit, just me and you, try again in a minute eh?"

☘️ At first the way things develop between you its like he's a big brother to you, he takes you under his wing, protects and guides you as though making up for the sister he lost.

☘️ He spends a lot of his time with you, and whenever he sees you around he makes time to talk to you, or not talk to you depending on how he feels like you're feeling.

☘️ You have this unspoken connection, sometimes all it takes is a look from you and he knows exactly what you're thinking/feeling.

☘️The more you spend your time with him the more able to talk you are and he's so pleased and proud that you look to him in the way that you do, that he is one of the only people in the city who gets the blessing of hearing your voice, getting to know you intimately through conversation.

☘️He's especially pleased to know things about you that Tommy doesn't, that you trust him and nobody else. That without him you'd be lost.

☘️ Gets jealous if you do start speaking to someone else and has to remind himself that actually this is what he wants. For you to grow and become your authentic self not hiding or fearing being too much.

☘️ So despite his fear that once you can talk to other people you'll not need him and you'll stop wanting to speak to him, he encourages you and reassures you, tells you he's proud of you.

☘️ But of course his fears are unnecessary, you'll always look to him for comfort, company and reassurance, he'll always be the person who saw you for who you really are first. He'll always be the one who believed in you and took his time with you. And he's your best friend. And maybe you secretly want hin to be more than that.

[spiceofvy]

Hello 🤗 can I pls request BTS headcanons where they have a crush on a non celebrity female reader who is their friend? Thank you ❤️😊

BTS - Having a crush on a friend

a/n: thank you so much for requesting! I had so much fun writing somethin sweet and fluffy like this! I hope you enjoy it too!

cws: written with a fem!reader in mind but no gendered terms used, sfw, fluffy, nothing else to tag, this is really just wholesome and cute

Seokjin: This crush will be no secret. He hits on you constantly. All the bad flirting, but he is pretty so he gets away with it. This also includes flowers, fancy food and random trips to the beach. You choose the music of course. Everyone always assumes that you are already a couple, when in reality he is still trying to get you to go out with him. And if you can't tell from all his flirting he will just give it to you directly. "Can't you tell that I've been trying to get you to go out with me?"

Yoongi: He is very much in control of his feelings, but his actions speak so loudly. He's always by your side. Whenever you come over he has your favorite food prepared for you. He gets really flustered whenever someone calls him out on it, blushing and telling them off. But he probably won't confess to you himself, someone else drops it by accident and he gives up with damage control "Yeah he's right y/n… I am in love with you"

Hoseok: This man hypes you up. You go shopping together? So many compliments. You join him in the studio? He treats you like the best dancer in the world. He also takes you with him on every vacation he gets offered. No matter if it's fashion shows or trips for music recordings, you are everywhere with him. Confessing to you will not be an active choice on his side but the end of a long ramble of his. "You know, that's why I think I love you so much. Wait…"

Namjoon: Oh he knows everything about you. But not in a creepy way. He read all your favorite books, so he can discuss them with you later. Knows your favorite artists, and has a perfect playlist for you, no matter your mood. Sends you so much art he likes, paintings, poetry, all of it. He just loves to share his life with you. There will be no confession, more you calling him out why he sent you like 6 love poems in one night "Ah… I guess it was kinda obvious…"

Jimin: You stay his cute little secret. No one gets to look at you. You are his best friend and only his. No matter how often the others ask to meet you. He will keep you for himself. So his confession is also very private. Just the two of you in his apartment, he got you takeout and your favorite playlist is playing in the background. When he takes your hand and quietly whispers to you. "I just want to tell you, that I have been in love with you for so long."

Taehyung: No but why do I think that he talks with Yeontan about you? Because he definetly does. Whenever he comes home from your place he immediately falls into a quick ramble about you, gushing about you smiling widely. So much that Yeontan probably reacts to your name and of course you are over a lot so he also gets really excited to see you. Taehyung will confess to you unintentionally "You know, I think Yeontan is also in love with you"

Jungkook: This man can not hide his crushes to save his life. It will be so obvious. Whenever he sees you he has the brightest smile, being so excited to spent time with you. He introduces you to all his friends, and if anyone ever says something wrong about you or looks at you weirdly he gets really defensive. He confesses to you with a big gesture. "What? No this is not too much! This is just enough to show how much I love you!"

[risenwrites]

Title: The Important Question

Pairing: Boyfriend! Sanji X Girlfriend! Reader

AU: Modern Day

Warnings: Slight angst if you squint, mainly fluff, french words (I used Google translate pls don’t come at me), reader is kinda clueless, pet names (my love, darling, etc.)

A/n: This is for the Loverboy Sanji Event that @stephisokay is hosting! (I hope it's okay I tagged you fhdjskfks)

Word Count: ~2.6K

Status: Semi-edited

Snow had already been falling for a couple of hours when you reached the apartment complex Sanji lived in. You stood at the base of the stairs, shivering in the frigid air despite your warm coat. You gently rubbed your palms together before sticking them in your armpits as you began climbing the staircase. With each step, your mind drifted back to earlier that day when Sanji texted you out of the blue.

His text said there was something important he wanted to talk about at his apartment tonight and that you should wear something nice. You had tried to ask him over text what he wanted to talk about, but he never responded. You’d gotten texts like that with previous boyfriends, which ended with a breakup each time. Deep in your heart, you feared tonight would end the same way.

When you reach the floor of Sanji’s apartment, you quickly rush over to his front door. You were eager to get inside to be warm but hesitated to knock on his door. Fear crept into your mind from the thought your boyfriend might break up with you. You loved him, probably more than you’ve loved anyone before.

You quickly shake your head to push away those thoughts. Pressing your lips together, you take a deep breath and then knock on the door. Within seconds, the door opened to show your boyfriend’s smiling face and curly eyebrows. Seeing his face instantly chased away all your fears and anxiety about what he might want to discuss. A smile spread across your face as he gently took hold of your hands.

“Y/n, my love!” he greeted, peppering your face with kisses, making you giggle. “Come in, come in!”

Sanji gently pulled you inside, grinning ear to ear as he closed the front door. The smell of food and cigarette smoke filled your nose, warming your heart and soul. You were about to turn toward your boyfriend, but he started taking off your coat before you could do or say anything.

“Thank you, Sanji,” you said while facing him, an even bigger smile on your face.

“It’s always my pleasure, my darling,” he said lovingly while hanging up your coat.

As he finished hanging up your coat, you stomped your feet a little to remove the snow on your shoes. You briefly looked him over, noticing how he wore one of the more fancy suits he owned, whereas you were wearing something nice but much more casual. Immediately, you began to feel a bit underdressed.

“Hey, did you want me to wear something more… fancy?” you asked hesitantly.

Sanji looked at you, his eye widened in surprise. He blinked a few times before panic flashed across his face, and he fully turned toward you. “No, no! You look wonderful, my love! I’m sorry, I should have said more than just nice in my text,” he apologized while holding your hands. 

“If you want, I can change into something else so you don’t-” he began to explain, but you quickly cut him off by giving him a quick kiss.

“No, it’s fine, really. Don’t change because I am underdressed,” you told Sanji with a small smile. “Especially with how dashing you look in this suit.”

Sanji let out a small breath while he stared at you, relaxing from the panic rising within him. Your heart skipped a beat from seeing the genuine love and admiration in his gaze.

“For the record, you never look underdressed. Everything you wear only makes you look more beautiful than you already are,” Sanji said with a grin slowly appearing.

Light pink dusted across your face, and you chuckled shyly, looking away with a happy smile. Part of you wondered how you found such a wonderful man, while another part gushed over how cute he is.

“A-anyway, what’s the fancy clothes?” you asked to change the subject.

Sanji’s face lit up, and he let go of your hands to place one on the small of your back. “Let me show you,” he said.

He led you through his familiar apartment, bringing you to the living room. Your eyes widened in surprise as you glanced around the room. All the furniture had disappeared, probably moved to another room. White and golden fairy lights were strung up on the walls and across the ceiling, making the room slightly dim but still lit enough to see. A little square table sat in the middle of the room, two fancy seating arrangements opposite each other. In the center of the table was a simple vase with a beautiful red rose inside.

Without hesitation, Sanji led you to the table and pulled out one of the chairs for you to sit. “I hope you came with an empty stomach, my darling! I’ve got something special planned for dinner tonight!” he explained while smiling at you.

You stared at Sanji for a moment, utterly dumbfounded by how much work he’d put in for a dinner he never told you he planned. You’d have dinner with him often, but this was completely over the top for a simple dinner. Sure, you’d always known how much of a romantic Sanji could be, but he’d only ever done something like this on special occasions. You couldn’t think of any holidays or special dates that could have made him want to set up something like this. Did this have something to do with what he wanted to talk about?

“Um... earlier today, you texted me, saying you wanted to talk about something?” you asked while moving to sit down.

His visible eye widened, and a light pink dusted on his cheeks as he chuckled. “R-right, that’s something we can talk about when we eat dessert,” he quickly said while pushing your chair in. “I’ll be right back with our food!”

Sanji kissed the top of your head and then walked off into the kitchen. You frowned slightly and leaned your cheek against your fist. With all the thoughts of a possible breakup gone from your mind, you wondered what Sanji might want to talk about. A small part of you hoped what he wanted to discuss had something to do with your future together, but you quickly dismissed the thought. He’d always change the subject when you tried to bring it up in the past. There had to be something else he wanted to talk about. You just needed to wait and see.

Soon, he returned holding two dinner plates with covers, like something you’d see in a fancy restaurant or other fine dining. He carefully placed one down in front of you and gave what you assumed to be a wink (you couldn’t be sure with his left eye covered by hair). He placed the other plate opposite you, where you assumed he would be sitting.

“May I present to you…” Sanji began with a cheeky grin, “Pâtes Épicées Aux Fruits de Mer!”

Sanji lifted the metal covers to reveal bowls of pasta covered with marinara sauce, the smell of spices and shrimp rushing up your nose. A smile spread across your face as you recognized the dish without asking him to repeat himself in English. Your stomach rumbled, and you giggled softly while looking at your boyfriend.

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just say ‘Spicy Seafood Pasta’?” you asked.

Sanji chuckled and pecked you on the lips, causing you to giggle again. “And where would be the fun in that, hm?” he questioned with the rise of one of his curly eyebrows. “Let me put these in the kitchen, and then we can start eating.”

Once Sanji had put the metal covers in the kitchen, he sat across from you at the table. You both began eating the food he had made, which tasted amazing as always and chatted about how today had been for both of you. Most of that was Sanji complaining about men who came to The Baratie with their girlfriends and men who went to the restaurant to flirt with women non-stop.

“I swear to god that all men are pigs! You should have seen some of these guys. They were totally making the other customers uncomfortable with how they were talking to the fine young ladies dining at the restaurant. All of these men were absolutely swooning, and I mean swooning, to get the attention of our lady customers. Don’t get me started on how they stare like starved animals. Men have absolutely no respect for women these days,” he explained, eyebrows furrowed while he scowled.

Your hand flew up to cover your mouth to ensure no food came out while you laughed. All the frustration and irritation Sanji had melted away, his expression relaxing as he smiled.

“What’s so funny?” he asked while taking a bite.

You swallowed the food in your mouth and then chuckled. “I just find it funny how you’re saying that since you acted similarly before and when we first started dating,” you explained with another chuckle.

Sanji’s eye widened, and his face immediately turned bright red. “Dats not-” he started saying but stopped to swallow the food he had just put in his mouth. “That’s not the same! Besides, I was only trying to show my appreciation for women! I-I never swooned like those pigs!” he argued while the red spread to his ears.

You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit more, finding your boyfriend adorable from getting so flustered. “Oh yeah? If I remember correctly, you were always swooning to get the attention of any woman you met,” commented with a giggle. “But I guess you still do that now, even though we’re dating.”

Sanji’s body went rigid momentarily, and he became quiet after hearing your comment. The smile on your face immediately disappears, and you put your utensils down to reach across the table and hold your boyfriend’s hand.

“Hey, did I go too far with the teasing?” you asked worriedly.

He quickly shook his head and looked you in the eyes while squeezing your hand gently. It was his turn to chuckle as he caressed the back of your hand with his thumb.

“No, it’s just…” he began but trailed off like he was looking for the right words.

“It’s just… what?” you asked.

Sanji looked into your eyes, catching your breath in the back of your throat. He seemed so serious yet simultaneously filled to the brim with love and adoration. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight.

“It’s just I can’t imagine why you’d think I’d be vying for the attention of other women when I already have the most beautiful woman in the world,” he explained as a smile returned.

Your eyes widened, and it was your turn for your face to turn red. You gently squeezed Sanji’s hand before pulling away to pick up your utensils. “You’re such a flirt,” you softly state with a small smile.

“I’m only telling the truth, my darling,” he said with his smile becoming a grin. “No one could ever match the radiance you have.”

You swore your face looked redder than the marinara sauce in the food. Still, you giggled softly while finishing off the last of your food. When you looked up, you noticed how Sanji’s eye widened while he seemed to become extremely nervous yet excited. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, finding it strange how he suddenly became anxious when he’d just been flirting with you.

“Uh, are you done eating, my love?” he asked after a moment.

When you nodded, he quickly stood up and took the empty plates into the kitchen. Soon, he returned with two new dishes with metal covers. You raised an eyebrow and tilted your head to the side while he placed the two covered plates down. You saw Sanji’s hands trembling for the first time since you started dating him years ago. Worry bubbled up to the surface, and without hesitation, you gently took hold of his hand and looked up at him.

“Is everything alright? I’ve never seen you this anxious before. Not even when we’ve run into your family,” you said with a slight frown.

Sanji blinked a few times and looked down at you. He was quiet momentarily before a wide smile spread across his face, and he chuckled. Gently, he placed his hand on your cheek, rubbing his thumb against your skin.

“Yeah, everything is great. I promise you don’t need to worry,” Sanji told you before taking his hand off your face. He took a deep breath while grabbing the metal cover on your plate. “y love, here is your dessert,” he said softly while lifting the metal cover.

It took you a minute to realize what was in front of you on the plate. There sat a single piece of cheesecake with a beautiful ring on top with a few fruits. A ring with a diamond. At that moment, you felt your heart skip a beat, seeing the beautifully simple arrangement on the piece of cheesecake.

You watched with wide eyes as Sanji picked up the ring from the cheesecake. He used a napkin to clean off the bits of the dessert still on the ring, then got down on one knee beside you. His curly eyebrows were furrowed slightly, a serious yet nervous expression on his face. Slowly, he lifted the ring up to you, showing off a beautifully simple design on the ring with a diamond in the center.

“Y/n l/n, will you make me the happiest man in the whole world, spend the rest of your life with me, and marry me?” Sanji asked, his eyes locked with yours.

The whole world seemed to disappear around you, even yourself, leaving only Sanji. You committed everything about him at this moment to memory, from his curly eyebrows to the fancy suit he wore to the mixed smell of spices and cigarette smoke. He looked nervous yet hopeful like he thought there was a chance you might say no, but at the same time, he assured himself that you would say yes.

Tears began building up in your eyes as you placed a hand over your mouth. How could he ever think that you would say no to him? After all the time spent together, all the memories made, all the ups and downs, he was still unsure if he was worthy of your love. Just like how you were with his love. You threw your arms around his neck and held him close without hesitation.

“Yes! A million, no, a billion times yes!” you exclaimed happily, a bright smile appearing on your face.

You could feel Sanji let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around you. He held you close and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck. You could feel the happy smile on his face as he gently pressed his lips against your neck.

“God, I love you so much it hurts,” he whispered while tightening his hold on you, making you giggle softly.

“Is this what you had wanted to talk about?” you asked, the whole situation still feeling like a dream.

“Yeah, it is. Sorry for keeping it a secret. I just really wanted this to be a surprise. Especially since you’ve wanted to talk about our future together,” Sanji explained.

You shook your head while pulling away from hugging him, which had Sanji pouting a little. You chuckled while gently taking his face in your hands, a happy simple on your face. You placed a gentle, loving kiss on his lips, and he eagerly kissed back with just as much love, if not more.

After a moment, you pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. “Then let’s talk about things while we eat our cheesecake,” you suggested with a laugh.

Sanji grinned and nodded in agreement while resting a hand on top of yours. “Yeah, let’s,” he agreed.

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[ceruleancattail]

so like pls dont judge me of this request of mine—

can i actually request octavinelle butlers grow a romantic feelings for reader and they feel the same way? i swear i just want a romance between a noble with personal butler 😭

Simp🫵/j

A Butler’s Love

Jade loves you silently.

He isn’t one to shower you in loving words, or sing your praises. Jade knows the power of his words, considering how he uses them to bend people to his will. When it comes to you, he’ll much rather be authentic. Although, he’s not opposed to a sly line here and there. Whispered into your ear, accompanied with a deep chuckle. Jade likes making you flustered. It’s nice to see just how much of a hold he has on you.

You’ll notice his feelings in the little things. With every mushroom foray, he comes back with a handful of flowers. Jade’s taken to drying them , before pressing them in your favourite books. It’s always a pleasant surprise to see delicate blossoms tucked into the pages, remains of it’s cloying scent tickling your nostrils. You’ve taken to carrying a book around, searching for the meanings of the blossoms he tucked into those pages.

They’re always sweet, really. Through the voice of nature’s treasures, he speaks to you. The language of love, wrapping around your heart, tugging at it softly.

At the end of every book, he places a white clover. Jade’s little plea, perhaps? A silent dream of his. He’ll love for one day where he’ll be able to hold you. Hold you like a lover. Until then, he’ll toil silently. All he wishes is for you to think of him.

Floyd loves you with all his heart.

He has never been one to beat about the bush. Floyd’s direct, and he tells things as it is. No matter who he talks to, Floyd’s blunt to a fault. He does delight in the aguish of others, especially if they’re emotional. It’s always fun to watch them blow up.

With you?

He’s not really much different. Although you’ll notice Floyd poking fun at you more often then the others. It makes sense, considering you’re his master. He’s like a child, pressing at every button he can reach. Floyd’s face lights up in delight whenever you react. It’s just so fun! Lil’ Shrimpy’s reactions are the best after all.

Whether you’re happy, or you’re sad, Floyd likes all your faces. He’ll take note of visual cues, indicators of your emotions. This comes in handy, especially during events. If you’re the slightest bit uncomfortable, he’s stepping in, arm pulling you towards him. You’re sad? Floyd’s right there. Here, he’ll lean down a little. Cry on his shoulder, shrimpy. Take as much time as you need. He’s here for you. Now, and always.

Floyd reads you, over and over like a child’s treasured storybook. Pouring over every page, he knows you like the back of his hand. He loves everything about you.

Do you love him back? Floyd hopes you will.

Azul loves you sincerely.

It’s hard for him to say that about anyone, really. In the business world, that word’s used too much, too often for it to actually mean everything. Every letter signed off with that word, it’s become nothing but a formality. It’s just something you say to be polite.

But when it comes to you? Sincerely starts to take on a new meaning, for him in particular. Azul starts to take a certain sort of pride, being able to do things for you. You trust him enough to serve you personally. That’s definitely something to be proud of, no?

His biggest comforts would be paper and pen. The written world is wonderful. No one can every deny what’s inked down in black. It’s to no one’s surprise that that’s how he expresses his love. Little notes left around the house, cursive lining the pages. Words of praise, sometimes a poem, or just a simple : “ You look wonderful today.”

However, one thing is constant. He’ll always sign of with “yours sincerely.” Contrary to the emotionless words he scribbles on business letters, Azul pours his love in every letter to you.

If he’s sincere in one thing, that’ll be his love for you, his dearest master.