#theyre just. completely fuckin different approaches to this

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

The reason North doesn't want Higgins digging up his own past isn't something grand and noble. No, it's actually small and scared and selfish and they're Aware of this too and none of that awareness makes the anxiety of it go away

They're scared that if Higgins digs up who he once was, void forbid if he remembers, he'll become someone else. He'll change from one day to another into someone North doesn't know bc that someone had died millennia ago in a universe they had only set foot in for the first time mere months ago

They're scared that even if it doesn't turn him into a stranger, it'll give him other things to pursue, other lives to want to lead. It'll change his mind about how worth it it is to spend his days on the Orbiter, with this group, with North. It'll give him reasons to leave

[monstersinthecosmos]

The show definitely isn't going with the Loustat route. With the way things are going there's no way anyone would want to root for them, and I think that's probably the point.

yeah tbh like, I think part of why this experience has been so discordant for me is that I sat here like a fuckin tool just inhaling every bit of news for a year and it's like, how many times they said it was a romance, how many times RJ said the characters were important to him, how many times they said the changes they made were small things that wouldn't matter, etc. It's hard to consume the show with a blank slate when you've been given that message for a year. Even the trailers strategically used tons of giffable shippy moments that, when they finally showed up on screen, turned out to not be romantic at all LOL.

So I feel like I'd have a different perception of the show maybe if I hadn't known all that. Then again, sometimes when I watch the episode and make the creative decisions make sense, RJ comes on afterwards and ruins it by undoing the grace I was willing to give him LOL.

I could see it being a grand creative challenge to see how much they can make you hate Lestat and still have you root for them in the end but idk. If that's the show some people want to watch, I hope that's fun. LOL. Like, that's kinda how it is in the books? Lestat is awful and misbehaved and selfish and abusive and we root for him anyway. If it ain't broke don't fix it, idk man. The source was already right there.

There's two things I keep coming back to, though:

Jacob & Sam said in an interview at one point (I wanna say it was SDCC weekend but I can't recall) that even when things were hard between the characters they were informed by the idea of the reunion and it helped to be awful to each other. So I worry that everyone on the production is using that as a horizon line to work towards.

It was just continuously promoted as a romance. AND LIKE THIS IS KINDA ??? idk like was it deliberately misleading marketing? Or is it a show full of like, lazy cishet tropes that doesn't realize how toxic it's coming off? (I am still pointing towards the confrontation from Daniel's soulmates comment where it's like HOW IS THAT THE IMPRESSION YOURE GETTING FROM THIS STORY LOL) ((And not to nitpick RJ harder than deserved, but in Ep6's thing afterwards he kinda brushed it off like it was normal relationship bad decision making and not like, horrifically depraved abuse LMAO.))

This is another point that isn't exactly about what we're talking about right now but SINCE I GOTCHA HERE I also wanna say there's been this really obnoxious trend that I'm seeing in some of the newer & casual fans and I even saw in some reviews, and it's the bad habit of writing off all evildoing as ~ThEY'Re VamMPIreS~~ as a blanket excuse to ignore all bad behavior and pretend that every bad thing they do is simply them "being vampires." And a lot of "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, IT'S A HORROR/VAMPIRE SHOW" and like !!!!!!! I gotta say those are absolutely ice cold takes.

The entire reason this book was groundbreaking was because it humanized the vampires. And a huge core of the books is analyzing good and evil and the meaning of their lives. The entire idea is "I want to be a good person even though I have to kill humans to survive" and each book has that conversation.

"THEY'RE VAMPIRES" completely misses the point, and some of the drama & violence on this show is so heavy-handed that I wonder if the team takes the THEYRE VAMPIRE approach where it's just carte blanche to act like a fucking asshole lol. And just, idk. I'm not sure it's fair to accuse the team of "missing the point" bc I'm sure they're all educated and understand the books, but it's very obvious to me that this was a way to cash in on a bunch of tacky vampire tropes for the money lol.

The entire point of the books, the reason they were groundbreaking, the reason we love them is that the vampires are still so human. They're capable of hurting others and being hurt. Their interpersonal relationships in the face of eternal loneliness are just as full of compassion and emotion as any other relationship. MAYBE EVEN MORESO BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL BIG VAMPIRE-BRAINED AND EXTRA EMOTIONAL. And I think this theme is REALLY strong with Lestat; obviously we spend the most time with his interiority but he struggles with his relationships and wanting to be loved and wanting to be good, even when he fucks up. And those fuckups are more human than they are vampire.

So idk I find the show very tonally imprecise; I worry that the extreme violence they used was perhaps a ~they're vampires~ decision and they're trying to tell us that to vampires maybe it's not such a big deal? (Hate that lol.) But at the same time, it feels really, idk, gross and uncomfortable to leave horror conventions to use such real world domestic violence tableaus to tell a vampire story. If it's supposed to be fantastical vampire drama we could've done with slightly fewer of the too-real bits, idk. MAYBE I'M SENSITIVE HAHA. But yeah it's just.

I'm sure I'd have a different opinion if I came in cold (and I've been trying to watch like YouTube reactions from new fans to see their impression! It's really interesting!) but it's difficult not to come in with expectations between all the marketing and even just having a foundation of the books.

[feisty-yordle]

Thinkin bout how so many dykes who later become gaydens didnt know how easy they probably had it in the women department.  Probably all of them would have become successful lesbians if, early enough, they realized how men and women actually work.

I mean who can blame them?  Teenage boys dont know whats up during puberty either.  They learn by making mistakes, fueled by insane levels of test.  Girls dont have that.  Guys also know theyre supposed to like girls and date them.  And that women see them as guys.  Girls dont have that mental programming either.

(At least we can later commiserate on how girls gave us attention and we were completely blind to the kind of attention they were giving us.)

(YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO BE THAT DYKEY TO GET FEMALE ATTENTION ITS SO FUCKING EASY LIKE ok tangent time

Most of middle school and high school i looked like a stereotypical nerd girl.  I was super nice, and everyone knew me as quiet nice girl.  And yet,

- when i approached girls for friendship they glared at me with suspicion - when i ignored women and did my own thing they acted friendly toward me and asked me to hang out with them

I didnt even do anything.  Didnt care about the dumb bullshit they talked about.  DIdnt talk about boys with them and paint nails and take part in their reading club.  But i was invited to all the slumber parties, and people cared about everything i had to say (which was very little).  Which made me very suspicious but i enjoyed the attention.

God if i had just realized that once a girl hits puberty she doesnt magically treat females differently from males because of sex.  They care about energy.  Ive heard so many lesbians talk about how they were shooed away from girls when it was time to change clothes, as if they were seen as male.  But they werent.  I never saw myself as a girl or a boy, but i assumed people in 6th+ grade saw me as a girl.  But it didnt mean people, particularly women, were treating me like one.  Gosh no wonder “gender is a social construct” is such a fem thing.  And when i learned about gay stuff, i thought, “girls dating girls? That’s cool, in theory.  Not like i have the opportunity.”  like wHAT  

This continued through college, too, although it stopped being being invited to girl groups and lunch tables (i did hang out at lunch with people but it was people in my extracurrics and mostly boys) and instead being women walking right up to me and talking to me like i had always been their gal pal.  This is probably where my experiences diverge from most men (maybe not gay men) because women are so much more comfy around other women (and gay men) than men.  It was in college i got my first “i love you” from a non-blood-relation girl.  The first time a girl said to me “its not that i havent thought about it...” 

And still it didnt register.  Even after i heard of trans stuff and started playing with gender presentation and identity.  Because i wasnt pretending to be a man or looked like one, then nothing could be happening between me and women (unless they were a Lesbian) because i wasnt a Lesbian.

I wonder.... if i had, back in middle school, had the guts to hang with the guys on the guy side and really be myself, if i would have figured it out back then (or someone else for me).  The most progress i made on my sex social skills & awareness was when hanging out on 4chan.  The closes thing to a boys locker room, and being treated as a boy by boys, i could get.

“No opportunities” I had... let me count... ok i cant remember all the girls in my squad but it had to be at least ten.  Realistically probably only 2 or 3 actual opportunities but i coulda got in so much practice.  More maybe if i lifted weights like i originally wanted to (thanks mom).  You dont even have to bang or makeout with your gf in that age range, so fuckin easy jfc i was such a dumb pussy

Im rollin in pussy now tho 😎

[foulserpent]

only asking bc i trust your media opinions but are the evangelion rebuild movies better or worse than the original series + end of evangelion? i've been avoiding them because im afraid of them tainting my opinion of the original series

i dont think theres anyone on the planet who thinks the rebuilds are objectively better than the og series, but theyre kind of just a whole different beast so idk how much it can fully taint the originals

main thing is everything bad about the originals is worse here, and im gonna give a special emphasis on like. the fanservice. it being a thing at all in the originals was bad enough but in the remakes its A LOT more of a thing and pretty fuckin uncomfortable to watch now as an adult.

but just in terms of like the personal preference kind of thing, it feels a little defanged until like the end of 2.0, and even past that it feels a little more generic mecha. like it definitely ISNT but the kind of visceral quality of the originals isnt as present. and its a lot less psychological. like it gets visceral at times but theres nothing that even comes close to fucking . anything in EoE

and on the flipside, its more like...approachable? ive only watched the original series like one and a half times (minus EoE which ive watched like 20 times) but ive watched the rebuilds a bunch of times. and not just bc the runtime is shorter, it really is just kind of easier on the viewer. its still kind of like, fun to watch and once you hit the end of 2.0 it gets into complete batshit territories.

also worth watching exclusively for how much bullshit they pull now that their budget is more than a pile of lint

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

[talesfrombeyondthebelly]

“Come into my parlor,” Said the spider to the fish.

I know I’m not great at titles but oh well. This is an Eri.Vr.is oral vore fic! Mainly because I’ve been doing some rps and been caught up in the great dynamic they have imo. This is a sfw fic, but again it is a vore fic so if you turn away I won’t be offended. That said, I hope you enjoy and I’m always open to criticism!

There would be an unceremonious sigh that would come from a certain violet blooded sea dweller as he fiddled with the pieces for his latest scheme to exterminate all the land dwellers. Or at least, that would be what he had claimed he was doing, he never truly planned to execute it both due to lack of ambition and the resources. Really, the boasting and bragging about what he planned to do wasn’t as much of a threat as he liked to claim it was, and truly it was more along the lines of a need for attention than any true plans of committal. 

It had been a slow night for one Eridan Ampora, and having wasted most of it attempting to message any troll to either gossip with three of them or spew some rhetoric he didn’t fully believe. But even then, all that was accomplished was that he was being ignored while he vied for attention. All that was left was to stay cooped inside and rewatch old documentaries as he idly fiddled with historical figure memorabilia.

That was, it was all he had to do until someone had decided to free him from his self-isolation.

AG: Heeeeeeeey, Eridan. ::::) 

The sea dweller would squint, he didn’t think his rival would message him after deciding not to message her first. They had broken up when they were six sweeps due to him boring and overbearing; but some time after they turned seven sweeps, Eridan’s attempts to renew their rivalry would pay off after much work and effort. And now they had been going strong even after they hit nine sweeps old.

However, he would roll his eyes at the sight, he knew her innocent seeming spider smile was anything but.

CA: wwhat do you wwant you cerulean blowwhard dont you knoww im busy AG: I’m hurt! After all I went through to check on my dear rival! I would have thought he liked someone giving him attention. AG: Oh well! Guess I’ll just leave you to your devices seeing how you’re *so* busy, CA: god damn it wwait CA: okay maybe i got a bit of an openin in my schedule to wwaste time wwith you AG: Please! The only one who’s going to be wasting their time is me, we 8oth know you’re pro8a8ly doing something 8oring like watching one of your lame documentaries. CA: theyre not LAME theyre goin to be your miserable dirt munchin dowwnfall soon enough AG: Oh???????? 8old claim from you Ampora. Seeing how I know you’re dead wrong. AG: Anyway! You’re coming over to my hive today right? AG: Why am I even asking? You o8viously forgot. CA: i didnt forget i totally fuckin remembered our meeting at your stupid and completely ridiculous hivve AG: It’s not stupid! What’s stupid is the fishbreath who 8uilt his hive surrounded 8y the ocean when he 8arely spends any time in the water. AG: Whatever, just come over. I’m not waiting all day for your dum8ass. CA: ugh fuckin fine CA: you still havvent told me wwhat specifically you wwanted to do ovver there anywway AG : :::;)

And with that, the conversation was brought to an end. Eridan would rub his temples, her purposely vague answer meant any number of things, usually which ended in his embarrassment in one way or the other. Of course, it was better to just go over as soon as possible rather than him wasting time by speculating, even if he did plan to make her wait to purposely be fashionably late. Something to put his pompous attitude on display. Soon enough, Eridan would don his scarf and cape before leaving his hive and embarking on the trip to Vriska’s.

The trip wasn’t terribly long, mainly because traversing through the ocean was far from an issue and her home conveniently overlooked the sea. Even so, Eridan would hold make sure to wait for an extra amount of time for no reason than to uphold the gesture that he was royalty. Feeling accomplished with his amazingly petty task, he would approach the door and knock a few times before waiting for her to answer as he dried himself off as he uncaptchalogued a few towels.

Vriska would answer the door surprisingly quickly, having not had the patience to return his petty actions before pulling him inside and closing the door behind them both. The expression on her face was blatant annoyance, but that was far from the norm regardless if it was actual exasperation or not. Eridan would up look at the other troll with a frown, even since they had gotten older he would find that she had sky rocketed past him in height. He had been a respectable  height of nearly six feet, while she had him beat by additional four feet, much to his unending irritation and to her endless amusement.

“You’re late. Even after I went and so kindly reminded you of our little arrangement. Well, I guess everything’s little to me when you’re short, but the point stands.” “yeah yeah keep braggin vvris i wwas towwerin ovver you before-” “Sure, you had a few inches on me when we were six! But now we’re nine and you’re still short, how do you explain that, hm?” That would cause him to shut up rather quickly, though he would dart his eyes around and attempt to come up with a retort, only to fold his arms and huff soon after. It wasn’t uncommon for trolls to grow as much as she did, but the fact that he wasn’t one of them meant that  discussions of height were biased in her favor. Her ten feet tall favor. His violet eyes would eventually return to her cerulean ones, there had been smile on her face, one that reeked of mischievous intent. Before he could open his mouth to question her intentions, she would cover his mouth with her hand, and some of his face as a natural consequence of the difference in size between them.

“Alright Ampora, shut up for a minute and listen. I had you come over because I had a proposition that’s going to 8enefit 8oth of us. Here’s the deal: You got two minutes to hide somewhere, and I’m going to seek you out. If I can’t find you in 8 minutes, you win! And if you pick somewhere dum8 and I find you, I win! And the loser has to do whateeeeeeeever the winner wants! Sound good? ::::)”

Eridan would try to speak his response, only for Vriska to keep her hand pressed against his face, only pulling back once he felt something wet trail along it. Irritation making itself apparent with a scoff, she would return the favor by grabbing one of his hands, sticking out her tongue and  slowly pressing the wet muscle against the other troll’s hand in a rather long lick before finally letting him go. His hand utterly drenched in saliva, Eridan’s face would scrunch up as he shook his hand dry while a small tinge of violet came across his face. It made her brief taste of him all the more delicious. 

“for fucks sake fine ill WWIN your stupid land suckin game and then wwe can do somethin wway less ridiculous and more dignified afterwwards” His statement was spoken with his usual amount of sea dweller pompous pride, even if the chips were stacked against him. Even so, he held his head up high and puffed his chest out, not about to turn down a challenge that was surely easy enough to win. She had a castle, there must have been plenty of places to hide.

“Good! Now get going Eridan, unless you want to 8e 8oring and lame and make this too easy.” She’d give him a wink, teasing him over her self-assured victory and a lick of her lips. She had no problem hinting at what she wanted to do once she won, it made it fun to see him squirm.

He’d pause for a moment and confidence turned into brief uncertainty in less than a minute, “wwait you mean right noww i havvent fuckin evven gotten to-” He cuts himself off as he sees her turn away and start to count, realizing that she wasn’t even going to wait for him to prepare himself. He’d scramble off, the sea dweller handling himself incredibly well on land even when he’s running around wearing a rather long cape. 

He wasn’t used to hiding as he was often hunting for the sake of Feferi’s lusus, but he would certainly try his hand at it to the best of his ability. Of course, his first two attempts were less than idea, having run to the very bottom of her hive to try and disguise himself by burying himself under her pile of miscellaneous belongings, only to realize he was shifting too much. He’d then decide to try his hand at hiding on one of the upper floors, deciding that hiding behind her pile of treasure would have been an unlikely spot seeing how he resented her various wins against him during their FLARP sessions. Unfortunately, this would prevent him from hiding there for long, as he does grow irritated looking at her spoils and decided to leave before it caused those pitch feelings to flair too much. Ultimately, he would decide to hide somewhere so obvious, Vriska would never think to check. He was confident in this idea, so much so that he decided to take it easy and relax in his new found spot, all he had to do now was wait 8 minutes and win. He means eight.

Vriska, predictably, did not count the entirety of two minutes before she began her hunt. Rather, she stopped once she got to eighty eight and decided that was enough for her. When she turned around, she half expected Eridan to standing right there out of spite and stubbornness about the whole thing but to her delight the violet blood was playing along. The question was where to find him, if she had to guess, it was probably somewhere dumb, like him. And so her very first guess was her trophy room, because of course he would think she’d skip over her own hoard of treasure to look for him. But upon making her way up the many stairs to check, she would find not a hair of him to found. She was a bit annoyed her first guess wasn’t right, but she had extra time to spare and her next guess would most certainly be right.

Except it wouldn’t The next room would be devoid of Eridan, and the next and the next. It would seem that no matter where she searched, he was nowhere to be found, it raise her irritation with him, and with it her hunger. The stomach of the ten foot cerulean would grumble as she briefly put a hand on it and huffed, she had to give her rival credit, he was doing a good job at making her work for this. And here she thought she’d grab an easy snack. But the warranty of it was  wearing off as time passed on, even with her head start, it would seem that Eridan was safe wherever he had chosen to hide. She couldn’t allow this to happen, she had planned for this all to go a certain way, and the fact that it wasn’t was unacceptable. Annoyed, she’d retire to her block for a moment, purely for the sake of trying not to get too caught up and at least try to remain rational about this. Only a minute to go, there wasn’t much time left, and Vriska was certain she had searched about every place there was to offer. Unless...

Without a word, Vriska would approach her wardrobe dresser, there was no way he’d hide in there right? It’d be dumb and stupid and completely ridiculous! Well, she didn’t have time, so she would ultimately waste not a moment more as she ripped open the doors to her wardrobe and... found her prize. Eridan for one was shocked with the sudden burst of light and appearance of Vriska, who apparently been frustrated looking for him. He wishes he could have seen the whole experience, but from the noises she made he got his fair share of entertainment. “8h my g8d, r8ally!!!!!!!! Y8u hid in my wardr88e????????” There was an unending amount of vitriol pouring from Vriska now, irritation at herself and him were flowing freely, and despite Eridan’s surprise, he would waste no time in displaying adjusting himself and nodding, “of course i hid here because i thought youd fuckin ovverlook it seein howw all your attire is plain as SHIT and it wworked just god damn fine seein howw a certain obnoxious glory lovvin troll took forEVVER to find me-” He would step out with a large amount of pride, quite certain he had won, only for his eyes  to dart over to the clock in her room and his face would immediately fall. She had found him with ten seconds to spare. “wwell fuck”

Vriska would try to take a moment to herself to not have too radical an outburst, she was upset, but she also wanted to savor her prize. The expression on Eridan’s face certainly helped “Wwell fuck is right! I win! And that meeeeeeeeans you have to do what I want, and I think we both know what that is.” A chill would go down his spine, while Eridan could be clueless at times, she had given him more than enough hints as to what she wanted. It certainly hadn’t been the first time they had done such a thing, but it was more than a bit embarrassing for him, which made give her some push back on the idea. “are you fuckin kiddin vvris you didnt say anythin about this bein your prize-” “Don’t 8e coy!” She’d interrupt him immediately, taking a step closer to him as he took a step back. “ I made it plenty clear! 8esides! I win, and you agreed to the terms right? It’s only fair I get what I’m promised.” 

Another step forward and he’d take another few steps back and bump into the wall behind him, Vriska smirking as she’d get closer to him, their bodies practically touching as she leaned down towards him and her lips would slowly part, strands of saliva breaking apart as he start down that cerulean abyss, taking a few teasing swallows as she inched closer before letting her warm breath washing over him and fogging up his glasses.  A few drops of drool would fall into his face before she’d close her mouth pull away, letting the situation sink in for the sea dweller as well as calm herself down, she may have had a bit of cerulean tint her cheeks in the same manner violet tinted his. Eating someone in this manner was embarrassing after all, which was why she’d only do it in private, not that she’d ever admit it out loud. Eridan had similarly shared the sentiment on the other side of the spectrum.

While embarrassment would go around on both ends, the sea dweller still contemplated making a run for it; the thought of being consumed always did trigger a fight or flight instinct, regardless of the fact that she probably wouldn’t digest him. Before he can even make an attempt however, his body is kept in place by hands on his shoulders, she had decided that she wasn’t going to give him the chance to scramble off and hide again, “I hope you’re ready, because you’re going to be in there for a while~” She would lean in again, salivating as she brought herself closer yet as her jaws widened to accept her meal. Slow warm breaths would beat against his skin as she drew tantalizingly close, all the while the fish troll would gulp nervously.

Instinctively, he would press his hands against her face as she started to lean in, he wasn’t about to let his hatemate have her meal without at least giving some fight back. One hand on her top lip and the other on her bottom, there’d be some push back as she slowly closed the distance between them yet again, it was a losing fight on his end as the predator drew closer and closer, letting him stare once again into her mouth before her tongue would slide out to press against his face and trail upwards, taking his glasses with it and causing him to loosen his hold. It was all he needed give the spider troll all the leeway she needed. Before he can even think about his mistake, she would jolt forward and wrap her lips around his neck, sealing him inside the jaws of the ever hungry troll. A hum of approval would resonate around the noble of troll royalty, reveling in the taste of victory and her meal, saliva being thoroughly slathered across his face during his various attempts to voice insults and protests. Though that wouldn’t stop him from trying. 

While it was certainly dark in the other’s mouth, being a nocturnal species meant that Eridan could see each and every detail as she made sure to truly make him squirm. It wouldn’t be long before she’d take the first swallow, letting his glasses slide along her tongue before they were unceremoniously pulled down her gullet Of course. with that swallow, he would be brought only a short distance away from the opening in her throat, as his shoulders would be brought in next. Her teeth would be pressed against his clothes to  keep him in place as his struggles and attempts to free himself grew stronger despite the situation going in the opposite direction for him. Her tongue would waste no time in running over the formerly dry parts of the troll, drenching the top of his shirt as drool as she decided to move on with her meal and take the gulp that would trap him inside her throat and bulge it out with his struggling form.

His head now captured in a pulsating throat, Vriska can continue her meal in confidence he won’t wiggle out. Her hands would move to keep his arms pinned to his sides as she moved further down his body, a hum flowing freely as she continued this consumption of him. Drool would pool in her mouth and dripping down as his chest was next to slide between her jaws as Eridan was tugged further down her throat, slightly bulging it out as he defiantly tried to move it around. Her tongue was relentless in running along the fabric she brought into her mouth, it was a bit tasteless and bland, and she regrets not shredding the shirt when she had the chance, but she ultimately makes do. Mainly by lapping at the shirt to lubricate it before taking another swallow, sending him further down the slimy gullet.

Her lips and fangs now reach his hips, and his stomach is safely contained within her mouth. Now she could have a bit more fun with him. Her tongue would curl under the bottom of his shirt to gain access to his skin yet again, an unadulterated groan escaping her to make it well known how much she just enjoyed this feeling, the noises ringing through his ears amidst his own grunts and swears. She’d stop her swallowing for a moment, reveling in the taste and wanting him to squirm a bit longer for her and attempt to fight back against the intrusive tongue as it rubbed against him,  only to end up rubbing his body more against the wet muscle, her taste buds gets all the flavor she could ever want. What probably gets the biggest reaction from her is when she gives attention to his grub scars, which are oddly enough, pretty delicious for a reason she couldn’t quite explain. But they do elicit some sounds from Eridan was well, mainly increasingly flustered insults as he keeps kicking wildly. It was quite enjoyable a feeling if she were to be honest.

While she could have kept slathering, lapping and sucking on him for a considerable amount of time, a sudden loud growl would emerge from her stomach, reminding her that she was quite hungry still. And so, she’d wrap her hands around his legs to keep them still as the next series of gulps condemned the violetblood to his fate. There would be only the briefest moment where she would remove his shoes before finally sealing the deal, tracing the last of the troll’s form down with one hand as she pushed him down to her stomach. A long sigh would come out of her as she laid on back and massage her now bloated stomach. It was a lot of work to get him down and she was blue in the face, but she had done it. She could feel him fighting and hear his complaints both of which were more than annoying when she was trying to relax, but damn, it was always satisfying to do this. 

 Eridan, for his part, always had conflicting feelings about this. His face flushed violet and his entire body was absolutely drenched in ever warm saliva, it and he was now surrounded by a brilliant shade of blue that made up her stomach walls. He attempt to push and stretch it to its limits and cause her indigestion as a form of revenge, but all he would be met with was a few gurgles as the stomach churned around him. Luckily, it didn’t seem like he was going to be digested, otherwise he would have been splashing stomach acids all over him from his struggles, instead of other contents in her stomach. It included a few eight balls and dice, unsurprisingly. Despite his best efforts, he would only slightly stretch out her grey skin as Vriska could see her bloated stomach wiggling and bulging with his form, she was content to keep him in there.

It would be a few minutes before Eridan’s protests would die down and he’d resign himself for now as he attempt to get comfortable against the soft stomach lining that surrounded him. As embarrassing as this had been, he had expending his stamina and his frustration dying down to contempt. It would allow her to relax a bit more and close her eyes. She thinks she’s going to take a nap before they do anything else. She might let him out later but for now, this was just another mark of victory for her. It was fun, they’ll have to do this again sooner rather than later.

[knightofameris]

GASAAHHHH THAT OIKAWA RANT WAS SO LONG IM SO SORRY BUT HERES SUGA (more like just comparing suga and oikawa but that’s ok ALSO none of this makes sense i hate it here bye) ;—;

honestly, ima be real here - suga was one of those people i instantly fell in love with. it was like the polar opposite of how i felt about oikawa (i’ll get to that in a moment.) i saw him and my heart went !!! and i loved him! there’s no other way for it. i classified him as the sweet boy of karasuno, and in some ways that is correct. but OP’s analysis of him has me thinking (as everything does LOL) and now, looking back to every scene that includes him, i slap myself for not realizing sooner just how AMAZING sugawara koushi is.

once again, like OP said, sugawara is so so quick to dismiss his own needs and jealousy. when it comes down to himself and the team, his ability to completely erase himself from the situation is.... frightening. he is able to put the needs of everyone else before his, which is, in some cases, good, but also uhhh- definitely not lol. which honestly brings me back to oikawa (UGH ik ik i cant shut up about bitchboy).

oikawa and suga are introduced in haikyuu as two completely different people. which- they are! but the difference in them is prominent to a viewer who has never seen either before. while suga is introduced as this warm, optimistic person who’s ready to help his team, oikawa is introduced as...well, the villain. he’s the big boss everyone needs to beat. with almost everyone i’ve talked to, they’ve admitted to loving suga and hating oikawa at first. but they’re similar!

both suga and oikawa have dealt with the force that is known as kageyama. kageyama has always been that presence in their mind that irritates them; suga is more lowkey about it, while oikawa is obviously very vocal and external in his responses. but both feel overshadowed by their junior, which i find hella interesting - because they both seem to dislike each other when competing in the spot for nationals. kageyama is the thing they share in common- but! the way they approach it is the key in how their characters differ.

sugawara takes kageyama’s appearance as a challenge, but ultimately gives up. he comes to the realization that, for the better of the team, he should sacrifice his sets and his hunger to win. oikawa somehow becomes more self-centered when kageyama comes into the picture. he is more power-hungry and anxious to win and prove himself, rather than back down.

IDK MAN. suga just makes me realize just how lucky some of us are to be where we are right now. sugawara koushi is probably one of the most selfless people i know, yet he’s also so,,,, how do i put this,,,,, ambitious? he is also always searching for more, but in a TEAM. he is so so so supportive, always reaching, always being the one ppl can fall back on and he guides them to where they need to be. he seems firm in his resolve that he can be that natural leader that yes, does have mom qualities, but also can be a bit harsh and a bit impulsive in his actions. he sacrifices and some people don’t even realize it. and yet he ALSO keeps going, no matter what, just like oikawa (yet probably not as fiery lol)

so. if i’m being honest. they would be best friends lol THIS WAS ALL JUST SO MUCH BRAINROT IM SO SORRY I HAVE SUCH STRONG FEELINFS ABOUT THESE TWO BUT NONW OF IT MAKES SENSE I JUST WANNA GIVE THEM BOTH BIG HUGS AND TELL THEM THEYRE DOING AMAZINF —🧸

again, i love how you phrased all of this because yeah! Suga and Oikawa both have to deal with someone more talented than themselves, they just both go about it in a different way and AHHHHH i fuckin glove it because there isn’t one “right” or “better” way. it depends on who it is and all of that. 

AND ALL OF THIS IS ALSO WHY I LOVE SUGAWARA KOUSHI SO MUCH. PLEASE. 

i really don’t have more to add honestly

link to the post that are being referenced: link

[misterbitches]

i just so deeply believe (and im right) that capitalism and putting a best face forward destroys art and also your will to want to create. the things that people make, that most people know about, become popular because industries pick people they know will comply, or need money, or are naive enough to think they can get what they want. 

there’s no reason productions should be that expensive and draining on crew members (i care less about actors bc i am a crew member and guess what actors just sit around all day sorry not sorry and i was one :P) but i always say: the little progress we make, is it really progressive? transgressive? 

and how could it be? how could it b ewhen companies refuse to relinquish themselves and break themselves up into parts. a web series could give people so much more freedom, but that is a whole lot more of a difficulty. i’ve made my own shorts (that i hate) and said what i wanted to say and even the pressure from how my school would receive it fucked up my psyche. 

and it takes so long for people who refuse to be stifled and be obsessed with this capitalist nightmare to get their shit released. if they get really popular still theyre not rolling in money (as they should not be) but they struggle to get shit together bc it’s harder to work with someone whose vision is opposed to this white supremacist garbage nightmare. 

i have a theory about parasite which is that SK has a totally different history with labor and capital than my country (US) does and it was done with that in mind and as an ttack on imperialism very clearly. that movie is not without its flaws, which can be discussed, but to date next to sorry to bother you which i havent seen it’s pretty much the most antagonistic film about that subject i’ve seen in a while. 

and in SK there’s tons of queer cinema (i may be exaggerating) but a lot of it is very gritty or uncomfortable (i am going to try and find this list my friend made of good sk queer cinema i think? or just n gen) and western gay shit is so popular overseas bc there’s a plethora of (BAD OR ANNOYING MOVIES I HATE CAROL) to go off of and see. a lot of international lesbians, for ex, really are into like hwood gay films or some shit bc that’s also what they can access and consume (let’s not get started on that fuckin dichotomy of man/woman but w/e) 

i wish i could be more cheerful and positive. it’s not that i don’t want to have fun or escape or watch these shows, in fact i do, and there’s legitimate shock when you see sth like ITSAY and it’s a beautiful cinematic experience. oh and on top of that i hate most TV and most TV is trash and films are better. imo ITSAY is like a movie split. 

why do we keep having hope in these systems? what i want in the future, because theyre not going away, is for more corps to reach out to collectives and diff types of filmmakers or artists and support them without making them stick to a contract and not do what they want. UNFORTUNATELY that’s really not how anyone feels like working. 

in my belief, at a time like right now, we have to be clear about not accepting austerity from the relief and to not fall into the trap of advancement via cultural artifacts. it’s bullshit—we fight against it. that doesn’t mean we can’t get excited when shows have things to say but i refuse to withhold critique because it’s so necessary in every piece

btw there’s this filmmaker called Park Kyoung Mi and though she’s married to this irish dude (who i think is like a professor of social theory idk) she was an AD to park chan wook (also a socialist) and a great filmmaker. in each of her works there’s a focus on women and queer themes of women and teens and their isolation and subsequent connections with each other. how men let them down, how you have to band together, the scariness of growing up. she made this miniseries for netflix called “school nurse files.” SNF was a book, it was written by a woman and its about desire, loss, and conformity, particularly for teenagers. there’s lots of queer themes and adult themes that  make it so we understand the precious lives of teenagers and how they need love and guidance instead of being shunned and pit against each other. 

it’s one of my favorite miniseries. netflix has this habit of picking up shows and telling NO ONE about them or very little advertising (it’s diff for south korean shows i think since a lot of production companies may come on board) and then canceling them. it is for a LEGIT reason which is MONEY!!!! but the director said she said yes bc she was given complete control and without it she would refuse. she also said she couldn’t get work or was feeling like the work she was doing was terrible (and in the reviews of the show or explanations about her it was always beginning with “PCW’s protege”) but she almost quit bc the pressure hrut and whittled at her

atp we need to take advantage of these systems if we have things to say and not let them take advantage of us. unfortunately, the opposite happens because people need work, have things to say whethere they’re shallow or not, and CONSTANT production means work and BS. this is how i feel about pretty much all industry and i’m the least critical of BL as opposed to say, kpop, or uhhhhhhhhh any celebrity ever bc it DOES have an edge over others but it’s an edge that they can barely fucking reach for or do well with. 

nothing and i mean nothing abou oversaturation and constant production will yield results that are going to be radical and “good” bc we’re approaching things ass backwards. the norm isn’t the ones that hurt you, the ones that stay with you, the ones that mean something. the norm is the bullshit you have to parse through. and even for things that do a great job of storytelling they still have their flaws or still have to buy into a system eventually, if the work calls for it, that they would long to eschew

if anyone sees this read this profile on arthur jafa, a prolific DP who i got the pleasure of seeing live AYYYY, and what he has to say. he left filmmaking then came back on his own terms and frankly i believe that’s just...what we have to do if we want to make a better world. that’s just me personally but this is my counterbalance to a fallacy that a work is revolutionary when it has zero intention of being so or will lie about its intention to save itself

this piec is called ARTHUR JAFA’S RADICAL ALIENATION and it reminds me of all the artists—particularly thai—i’ve seen that have had this radical alienation or refuse to water down their message and people will deal

i present one of my fav pieces  i’ve read frm the past year (it’s from 2014 but i read it end of 2019 when i was questioning me future) Radical Art is an Act of Uncompromising Passionate Resistance

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog - 2012 annual

iirc the annual takes place between 7 and 8, or something. whatever, im gonna go for it

shifts in art style always throw me off phewwww

i cant remember what theyre doing but i find it really funny that first aid is there squaring the fuck up to punch shit

ah yes of course how could i forget the time they shrunk down to fight tiny robots in ultra magnus’s head. a comic classic 

poor magnus lmao

HBJSDKFBSHJFDHJSD HIS TERRIFYING SMILE HAUNTS MY NIGHTMARES. LOVE IT

love the continuation of magnus’s law-vision

the fact that everyone is dunking on magnus for smiling ONCE hvbhjdksbfjks

rewind and chromedome ough

i feel like cyclonus spends 90% of his early mtmte screentime staring broodingly out of windows lmao 

tg so precious

lmaooo i love the flashes of rodimus saying ‘til all are one’ All The Time

rodimus just wants to be like his dad ok

rodimus telling drift to go meditate or something vbhjfdbhdsjkf

i love rodimus calling magnus out on referring to himself in the third person lmaoooo but also I'm like Oh I See That [eyes emoji]

wish i had emojis on the computer sigh

lmao so the circle of light is a bunch of pacifists With Big Ass Swords

them betting on how long it'll take rodimus to say ‘til all are one’ vbkjsdhbfjhkhsdf

damn so ambulon rlly did switch sides late in the game 

cyclonus is here!! being an emotionally closed-off fool as usual 

nooo rodimus let tailgate speak

cant believe rodimus graffiti’d tailgate

drift, immediately: rodimus is FUCKING POSSSESSED 

ratchet: ok, no, 

godddd everything abt the galactic counsel here is so funny. ‘its big - its grey - its taxpayer funded’ hvbkjshdbfjkdf and the fact that their ship is called ‘the benign intervention’ lmaooo

also DAMN that is a BIG ASS SHIP 

‘a fleshling in a stupid hat’ i love rodimus and his irrational hatred of hats

magnus comin in CLUTCH with the dry-ass clauses shit 

rewind vhjbdskfbaksdfn ‘the sub-section 7 defense - sneaky’ ily

tailgate hvbhjadkfbjskdf its ok that you don't know what's going on

also tailgate serves a vital role in the story as the audience insert character (or w/e its called), bc he’s often confused which allows for handy exposition that we the audience also need lmao 

i find it so interesting to see how the cybertronians are viewed by the rest of the galaxy - we don't see a lot of aliens but its always fascinating when we do, because of COURSE they’re mostly gonna think of the cybertronians as destructive and war-like when that’s what they’ve been up to for 4 million years 

ooof swerve :( swerve is one of those characters who you’re like ‘haha he’s funny’ most of the time but pretty often he’ll have startling moments of like, deep pain about life or w/e, and you’re like Oh Shit and then you kinda move on, until finally the swearth arc hits and it all comes together. what I'm saying is that this is some nice building towards that 

HGDSBJFKJSJBDF THERE IT IS THERE IT ISSSSSSSSSS

THE PANEL WHERE REWIND IN ALT MODE CAN FLY FOR SOME REASONNNNNN

i fucking love that shot so much. does everyone see this. rewind is a GIANT FUCKIN FLASHDRIVE and he’s hovering ominously thru the air. like, what happened to all the biz from issue 1 or w/e where his husband was roasting him for having a non-mobile altmode? if he can fucking HOVER than Actually rewind is the fucking coolest, no contest 

or like, is the implication that they all teleported there (having switched to alt mode along the way i guess?) and rewind is just like, suspended in midair? bc that's what the speed bubble text implies, but it also totally looks like they're just travelling across the area and rewind can levitate

anyways. that panel has always cracked me up lmaoooo

rodimus calling the council ‘fascists’ hvbhduifbjsdjfajskf sir i love you 

GODDD and there's the joke payoff from a few issues ago - rewind, facing front, hearing drift transform behind him and not only being able to tell its drift without looking, but also being able to tell that drift is upset, JUST like chromedome said he could....fucking PEAK i love that type of payoff humor

ooof and more swerve introspection. i mentioned earlier but i fucking LOVE how this series showcases the extremely wide range of reactions/coping mechanisms that everyone has towards the endless war finally being over - and swerve really nails it here: confusing peace with happiness, and assuming that everything would automatically be better after the war is over, when in reality you still have to work just as hard to build shit rather than break it

also i adore the horror of a guy who is half-embedded in the wall, his face stuck in a rictus of terror & death, waxing philosophical about how peace is about the freedom of choice, and how they should all just feel lucky to have survived...oof, that's very specifically ironic coming from you, dude 

but i do love the little characterization we get here for ore, a character who is literally already dead and has so far been used as a plot device pretty exclusively, but we still get to know little things about him here, and how HE feels about the war and the current peace, etcetc. it really makes the story and characters seem believable, like every character has a story even if we don't take the time to see it 

love cyclonus posing coolly 

kinda love how clear it is that drifts whole hippy schtick is just a front to cover his anger, and a tool to make him seem like an approachable, upstanding autobot

drift dramatically monologuing while pointing his sword at the sky is extra funny with everyone else just staring at him doing this

cyclonus why are you grabbing at the edge of the hole you're falling into, you can LITERALLY FLY, 

magnus finally getting some appreciation for being The most law abiding guy like, ever 

genuinely forgot abt the whole metrotitan plot that happens here 

GOD when rodimus is like BRAIN QUEST TIME and then we smash cut to them at the brain ‘six minutes later’ vhbhkudfjbjksf i live for that shit 

also that would be even funnier animated which further proves that we need an mtmte/ll animated series, please, somebody, 

HBDSJKFSHDJF REWIND IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY you cant even tell if he GENUINELY didn't think cyclonus could talk or if hes just being a dick but either way? comedy gold 

oh i adore the flashbacks being in a different artstyle, especially one that's so retro 

i love rewind being a history geek, and cyclonus passionately explaining cybertronian creation theory

HHHH i fucking LOVE the myth/lore stuff like....a lot of franchises tend not to dwell in this type of mythology, you tend to get The True Version Of Events, but this kind of explanation rocks bc it totally sounds like the kind of religious mythology that naturally develops based on a species’ progression

and drift and ratchet’s very opposing and polarizing views certainty do make for interesting perspectives, tho i feel like the story sometimes leans too much towards ratchet being ‘more correct’ bc, logic! or something idk i feel like i used to have a couple mild opinions on this but i don't remember

and its funny bc i am, irl, an atheistic medical professional who believes in science above all else - essentially just like ratchet. but i feel like the narrative portrayal skews a little more in his favor than i’d like, despite that 

skids just out here being a bummer, completely unprompted. cant even blame you tho dude 

hhhhhh chromedome talking abt rewind ;_; 

and when he says ‘maybe there’s someone out there who can save your life, too’ and cyclonus is there....hhhh

god i fucking LOVE drift and rodimus’s entire relationship. the layers...the LAYERS!!!

OH HEY ITS THOSE ROBOTS SKIDS FOUGHT 

ah, inconvenient laser time!

ok i fuckgin love how cybertronian’s brains look just like the planet cybertron. that's so fucking great 

of COURSE brainstorm brought his shrink ray 

truly i love the convo between ore and swerve, especially overlaid onto everyone fighting 

oof, the themes and plot threads of this annual are all so nicely tied up (which is something i love abt mtmte, especially early on when the story is smaller), with swerve now choosing to disobey an order from rodimus

oh yeah, the circle of light! that's who you've been looking for this whole time basically! 

and then the ending, hearing that magnus smiled (willingly!) :) i love it

rodimus’s profile says ‘finds it difficult to sit still’ bc rodimus is an adhd icon

lmao i feel like over half of my sentences in this recap - and in most of my recaps - contain ‘i love it’ or ‘i love how-’ or some variation upon that theme. I'm predictable 

anyways - the annual! i love this issue. its really long which is cool and i feel like it does a lot to flesh out the setting and lore, and even the characters as well. also, as i said above, it does an excellent job telling an exciting and well-contained story, with solid story beats throughout and plot threads that emerge and get resolved all within this issue, even while leaving plenty of stuff up for future resolution. that's the Early MTMTE Special, and i adore it. tho i will say I'm glad we’ll be getting back to the regularly scheduled art style, bc this one didn't really do it for me 

[dailyarturia]

have you rated the rulers yet? all the four star ones seem your type

yeah whatever let’s go it’s been a while again

remember the part in apocrypha where she starts killing the souls that make up jack left and right and atalanta spits at her that she’s no fucking saint and she coldly replies “that’s right. i don’t think of myself as a saint at all.” of course you don’t bc the anime RUINED IT and the novel translations still aren’t fucking finished. anyway she’s way more hardcore than fgo would lead you to believe 8/10

slippery bastard man whose precise characterisation continues to elude me even though by all means he’s just another emiya type and i should be able to see right through him. his hair is ridiculous i once cut my friend’s amakusa wig and the amount of hairspray in there is positively blasphemous ??/10 he makes a lot of my friends very happy so he can stay

i wish she kept the hat in all her ascensions. do you know how fucking powerful she’d be if she had the hat together with the gauntlets? this woman fucks. 10/10

i [redacted] him so much he reminds me of a darker time and a self i left behind but i really dig the theory that he’s secretly a foreigner class so i guess he gets like half a point for that

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU listen how do i even beGIN to talk about what makes the eternal emperor so great when everything about them is what makes them so great. their ego is big enough to eclpise the sun thrice over and they think they’re better than literally everyone else to the point where the difference is so obvious that they don’t bother to keep any distance and are actually surprisingly approachable. they were born in an era of constant wars and believe humans are naturally inclined to violence and cannot be trusted with either themselves or others and, seeing that they were literally more capable than anyone else on the planet, decided that they would simply have to take responsibility for everyone else then. they want humanity to prosper but don’t believe it can unless they personally keep everyone from fighting and so that’s what they fucking do. theyre misanthropic and risk averse but by god did they carve a peaceful future with their own two fucking hands, they suppressed all individuality yet stored any notable individuals at their palace for safekeeping, they forbid personal expression yet filled the capital with art, they became an immortal supercomputer yet insistently claim to be more human than anyone, they carried responsibility for the entire world and all of humanity for 2000 years in a desperate attempt to create a future they didn’t believe in but really wanted to. because they love humanity! so when guda shows up with a bunch of rowdy misfits telling them ‘you got that wrong bucko’ they LISTEN they listen and they consider their options and they have the dignity to not be bowled over by any rando shouting at them but the grace to admit when they are wrong and change course without bitterness or regret because they did the best they could with the information they had, they love humanity and can’t bear to see it suffer for no reason but if there IS a reason if there is meaning in the collective struggle for a better future they can be convinced to take that risk, and only after that do they realize how LONELY they were how incredibly lonely it was to be the only person they could trust and understand so they try to learn they TRY SO HARD to reach out and to understand how people can cooperate, how they can create a better future together as individuals, and they love, guda, so much, they love guda SO MUCH they completely hone in on guda as the shining symbol of the understanding that they cannot yet reach they want to understand and they want to be understood and they give you the fucking elixer of immortality for valentines in a thinly veiled desperate cry of loneliness because the only way they can see that happening is if you become like them because the only person they can understand is themselves THE PROGRESSION IN THEIR GIFT GIVING SKILLS IS SO SWEET by like bond 3 they’re like ‘you want an empire? no? you sure?’ and then they give you IMMOR FUCKIN TALITY for valentines and then by bond 10 they finally got the hang of it and give you a model of their own palace body for on your desk symbolically giving their all to you finally learning to put the weight of the gift in the meaning instead of its value and in the text they ask you to treat them as an equal like you always have because they have seen the world from your perspective and agree that it is so much more vibrant that way THE ETERNAL EMPEROR WAS THE ONLY REAL HUMAN THE ONLY ONE WHO STILL DREAMED OF THE FUTURE FOR TWO THOUSAND YEARS BUT ONLY AFTER THEIR EMPIRE CRUMBLED WERE THEY ABLE TO BE SEEN AND UNDERSTOOD AS A PERSON THE EMPEROR DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HUMANITY BUT THEY WANT TO LEARN FOR THE PERFECT HUMAN IS NOT PERFECT BECAUSE THEY ARE WITHOUT FLAW THEY ARE PERFECT BECAUSE THEY ADMIT TO AND LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES AND ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO BE BETTER ALWAYS WORKING TOWARDS A BETTER FUTURE

ok ill come clean i only answered this bc i wanted an excuse to talk about shi huang di but I am dutiful and will list the rest as well

IF YOU USE HER WITHOUT THE MASK YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THE ART OF LUCHA LIBRE 10/10

i dont care about luvia but she shares an artist with moth and yall know how i feel about toh azuma’s blue rulers with big nonsensical hair and tactical skin cutouts so i stan just by proxy

remember folks: love is stored in the

                                                         MOTH 

[turtle-steverogers]

Happy Fucking Halloween

I meant to post this earlier, but i forgot. Anyway, enjoy some disaster boys on Halloween. Kinda late now, but whatever.

Also these boys have a singular brain cell between them- they trade it off

Also this isn’t edited but it’s fine

Can you spot the vine reference? yeet

Ship: Ralbert

Warning: THEYRE HIGH AGAIN (can you tell i have fun writing them high?)

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN, ASSHOLE,” Race nearly threw his phone in surprise when his boyfriend, Albert, bust into his bedroom wearing a skeleton onesie.

“Babe, it’s only been Halloween for like,” he glanced at the clock, which read 12:02 am, “Two minutes.”

“Exactly,” Albert said, hopping onto Race’s bed, a manic glint in his eye, “We’re wasting time.”

“Wasting time to do what?”

“C’mon, get up,” Albert tugged at his arm, pulling him into a sitting position, “I wanna go ghost hunting.”

“You wanna- wait, what?”

“Ghost hunting. I wanna do it. It’s the spookiest day of the year, I wanna make the most of it.”

“Where exactly do you intend to do this?” Race asked, picking up his sweatshirt off the floor and pulling it over his head.

“There’s a cemetery not far off campus, so I was thinking we’d start there?”

“Okay. Sure, what am I gonna do? Say no?” Race said, throwing his hands up.

Albert grinned, “That’s the spooky spirit. Lemme just get something from my room, then we’ll go,” he launched himself off of Race’s bed and sprinted out of the room. Race chuckled to himself and grabbed his shoes from beside his door before heading out to the living room. He sat down on the floor and slipped on his sneakers. A few more minutes passed, then Albert slid out of his room and across their wood floor in a pair of ghost slippers, nearly falling into Race in the process. He had put the hood of his onesie up and a drawstring bag was secured on his back. What was in the bag, Race didn’t wanna know. But, he assumed he’d find out either way.

“Okay,” He exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “Let’s go.”

The walk to the cemetery was shorter than Race had anticipated and soon enough, they were climbing the polished wooden fence that surrounded it. The cemetery itself had a mix of older and newer looking graves. If Race squinted, he could make out the outline of an old building near the back and he had a feeling that’s where Albert wanted to go. Albert swung his drawstring bag around to his front and pulled out a flashlight. He clicked it on and held it under his chin as he continued to rummage through the bag.

“Fuck,” He murmured, “I coulda sworn I’d packed my- aha!” With a triumphant flourish, he pulled out a small pen-like object.

“Albert,” He groaned, “You brought your dab pen? Seriously? I don’t think we should be getting high in here.”

Albert studied him for a moment, then took a long drag, “So you have the brain cell today. Interesting.”

Race let out an offended squawk, “Excuse me, I always have the brain cell.”

“Debatable,” Albert held the dab pen out for Race, who scowled before taking it from him. He inhaled deeply, holding it in his lungs for a moment to allow the weed to process in his system.

They traded the pen back and forth several more times before Albert stowed it back into his bag. Race began to giggle as the weed took affect. Albert loosely grabbed his arm, pulling him between graves as they made their way to the building in the back.

“Albie,” Race said, sounding out each syllable, “What the fuck is that building. It looks so spooky,” he giggled again.

“I dunno, Race,” Albert slurred as they approached the front door, “But you’re so right it does look fuckin’ spooky, brah!”

Race blinked a few times as his eyes started to dry out. His mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and he smacked his lips a few times, “M’mouth is all funny.”

“Itsa kissable mouth,” Albert turned towards him and grabbed his face, kissing him sloppily.

“Albert, no,” Race said, pushing him away, “No kissing. Not here.”

Albert furrowed his brow, then nodded, “Yeah. No kissing, brah,” He paused, then pouted, “I don’t like that I keep saying brah. Makes me feel like a surfer dude.”

“Aha! Sahhh dude,” Race laughed.

“Sahh, dude- AH!”

Both of them jumped as a loud thump came from within the house. It sounded like it was coming from the loft.

“Ah, fuck,” Albert said, pointing the flashlight in the direction that the sound came from, “The ghosts are here.”

“Albieeeeee, I don’t wanna dieee. Can we leave?” Race whined, trying to tug Albert away from the house.

“No,” Albert said, determination in his unfocused eyes, “I wanted to hunt ghosts. We’re hunting ghosts.”

“You owe me,” Race said, glaring at Albert.

“Owe you what?”

“I dunno, something good.”

“I’ll suck your dick later.”

Race lit up, “Okay! Let’s go hunt ghosts!”

Albert shouldered open the door and the two of them tiptoed inside. It was dark and mostly empty. It looked like it had once been some sort of storage building, but had long since been abandoned- no doubt a result of the graveyard being built around it.

“Where to?” Race whispered loudly.

“Uhhhh,” Albert scanned the room until his light landed on a flight of stairs near one corner, “There.”

The stairs creaked violently as they half-walked, half-stumbled up towards the second floor. The next level was also empty, save for a small ladder leading to the loft in one corner and a heap of wood by a window. It looked like the wood had been tampered with. There were planks scattered messily around the initial pile and upon closer inspection, they found skeletons of small mammals strewn across the floor.

“The fuck?” Albert wrinkled his nose.

Race shrugged, his eyelids drooping heavily as he bent down to pick at a mouse skeleton, “I dunno, man,” He laughed and shoved the skeleton in Albert’s face, causing him to go crossed eyed, “Oh my fuckin’ god, she fuckin’ dead.”

Albert reached out and flicked his forehead, “Dumbass.”

“Hey! You said I have the brain cell, you-”

Before he could finish, something dropped out of the loft, hissing at them loudly. Albert and Race screamed, backing into the wall as the creature advanced towards them.

“Albie, ohmygod,” Race half-shouted, half-sobbed,”We’re gonna die! Fuck, we’re gonna die and you didn’t even get to suck my dick!”

Albert was trying to climb onto the pile of wood as he screamed, “What the fuck, Race. What the fuck is that- it looks like Spot!”

The thing kept lumbering towards them, slowly gaining speed, “I don’t know!” Race shouted, “Throw something at it!”

Albert picked up a plank of wood, throwing aimlessly in the direction of the animal. It landed loudly a few feet away from the animal and for a moment, it was distracted. It changed course, waddling instead towards the wood and Albert and Race took the opportunity to scramble off the pile towards the stairs. As they passed the animal, Albert shone his light on it. It was a fucking badger.

They didn’t stop running until they reached the fence. Climbing the fence while sober was one thing, but climbing it while high was a different story completely. It took them several attempts and more than a few scrapes, but eventually they landed unsteadily on the other side, panting heavily.

“The fuck was that?” Race asked, collapsing on the grass and draping an arm across his eyes.

“A fucking, uh, badger,” Albert answered, “The stripey head things.”

“You have a stripey head.”

“Take that back, motherfucker.”

“No.”

They caught their breath for a few more minutes, then began the journey back to campus. When they returned, it was a little passed 1:30 am. They buzzed into their dorm building, only to be met by Jack and Spot leaving.

“Race? Al?” Jack asked, “We were just aboutta go look for y’all. You weren’t in your dorm when we came to get you for Elmer’s Halloween thing, so we figured you’d gone to do something stupid.”

“And it looks like we were right,” Spot raised his eyebrows, taking in the two boys in front of him, “Are you two high?”

Race fixed him with a dazed look, “A fucking badger, Spot. A fucking badger.”

Spot cocked his head, eyes narrowing in confusion, “What?”

Albert snickered, “It looked like you, Spottie.”

“You two are so fucked,” Jack said, shaking his head.

Race chuckled and leaned into Albert’s side, “Happy Halloween, queens. Happy fucking Halloween.”

TAG LIST:

@bencookisagod

@we-dont-sell-papes

@suddenly-im-respecsable

@aw-jus-let-em-spook

@well-the-kids-do-too

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn

@thatpoorguysheadisspinning

@newsies-of-nyc

@andthewoildwillknow

@the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@have-we-got-news-for-you

@musical-shitposts

@thebroadwayaesthetic

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i seen a few times ppl like implying that the positive char development that the donuts are getting via their experiences has anything to do with them having Needed A Break from each other.......i’m truly bemused like. are you talking about this in terms specifically of their Relationship to each other? b/c frankly the way i was seeing it is that their relationship prior to these arcs was actually in a fairly chill place, and that they had figured out a lot of things abt their own / each others needs in terms of it that had been causing them problems and all. obviously i wasnt thinking like “guess everythings perfect for them now” since i mean it wasnt even clear they were like for sure officially ~together~ but also b/c why would it be when they’d just started to be able to have a more solid handle on their own mutual deal

but also like. the only thing we can really say is that sadie quit the big donut and got “yolo” knuck tats because there was nothing at all adequate abt the job w/o having a coworker to hang out w and the fact that lars just went off and died is like, well then live for the fuckin moment i guess huh. like that situation isnt even caused just by the fact that lars is absent, like maybe he’s on vacation or something. its that he, again, died and is still in danger and nobody knows for sure if/when he’ll get back. maybe she wouldn’t’ve started a garage band if that hadn’t happened, but its not like if she had done that and lars was still there, she would definitely be prevented from doing anything involving pursuing her interests, like. idk hopefully nobody thinks that ppl in relationships can’t have independent pursuits or focus on their personal interests

meanwhile there’s no point in saying that anything lars is doing requires sadie’s absence either. its more sort of say the absence of absolutely everyone on earth save steven for a bit there. like sure it was a factor that they got separated the way they did and he felt bad for being too panicky to help her but, same as with sadie, that has nothing to do with benefitting directly from her not being there. and its not like being separated from sadie was the One Reason he was able save everybody and get them all on a spaceship. there was like half a dozen factors there; to suggest if sadie had been there he wouldn’t be able to do this is.....i dont even know...

like fr this whole time for the both of them, the other has been probably the person they’ve been most comfortable being most like themselves around, and not feeling the kind of pressure from each other that generally stifles them in most other situations (like how lars is afraid of how ppl (he presumes negatively) judge him, how sadie feels bound by various expectations for what ppl think she’s really like (but isn’t really like))...the fact that they’re both getting to explore these different sides of themselves isnt really anything they couldnt do back on earth together. the events that happened to separate them (and separate lars from like all of earth...just to reiterate..) just happened to give them a real boost along the lines of making these decisions that impacted their development and gave them these totally new roles within totally new experiences

this is like ppl who have some idea that lars “needed” to die. like, even when its not just ppl who think so badly of lars’s char that they Wanted him to die, but rather looking back on the fact that that happened and he was killed/revived real quick lol—lars didnt Have to do that to have the development of getting to actually fight to protect others and himself and gain some confidence. he wouldve done that whether or not it had actually killed him—when he let the guys scan him without knowing it WOULDNT kill him was arguably enough to give him the same development as if the one hadnt blown up at him suddenly. and i mean, the space piracy is given a fun angle because its cool and genre, but none of them are doing it for fun. they’re trying to get to earth and not fuckin die along the way. lars is getting to continue Experiencing Some Confidence for the first time in probably ever but to present the situation he’s in and how he’s gotten there as something he “needed” is a bit cruel lol...he coulda done that on earth

like yeah if they were both living their normal lives you dont Know that some normal earth event would make them quit and sadie pursue her interests and independence while lars is put in a situation where he feels like he Belongs in a group and has confidence in himself and his ability to do like, anything. but thats coz events sort of just happen at you randomly. like how the event of being attacked by aliens basically led to this for them...it wasnt the Only Way these things could happen, its just The One Way That They Did

and like i also dont quite see that these changes theyve gotten to go through are going to put them in a perfect version of a relationship when lars gets back to earth...they still dont have the longest history of feeling kinda secure in the fact that the other really does actually like them ok, and this whole time theyve been teenz so what do you expect them having a smooth tumult-free development for, and having positive (and negative) experiences separately doesnt just automatically translate into an instantly leveled up relationship the moment they stand within 10 ft of each other again. they gotta catch up and relearn where each other is at and what their new lives and wants and needs are...and just coz their positive development might make it a bit Easier for them if some of their strongest insecurities are a lil blunted now & plus just that being happier tends to make everything easier, doesnt mean that everything is simply effortless. tbh if a relationship is effortless and stays together forever thats less Romantic And Ideal than like, sheer luck.

and it’s unrealistic (in life and in how the show doesnt make a character complete an emotional arc in a single episode or suddenly shed a defining trait just because they realize they ought to change their approach re: something or other) to think that either lars or sadie have like, completely shed all their issues as individuals anyways. and i mean, its their issues that drove them to make these changes theyre currently on. sadie being frustrated with her job, feeling unable to be herself = the motivations that means she’s now really actively pursuing what tf she feels like doing and pushing for it to continue and for it to be in line w what she wants it to be. but she’s not suddenly freed from all insecurities or feeling like everything’s perfect forever and she can never feel stifled again. plus yanno this whole time she freakin misses lars coz they’re friends and that’s not like...something she’s needed to do. absence makes the heart grow fonder but “be apart from each other indefinitely” isnt any kind of a relationship requirement. its just painful and all.

and lars knowing what its like to be afraid all the time and being frustrated abt it means he was so pushed to all at once finally stand up against what he’s scared of that he went and got himself killed, and also that he doesn’t feel the same social pressure he did on earth amongst the off colors, because he knows they know what its like to be scared all the time too—which ppl back on earth didnt understand about him. and so its the fact he’s so familiar with fear and stress that he’s able to fight for them and himself so hard now. but it’s not like you can just Decide your lifelong anxieties out of existence. after a dramatically changing experience, you’re not gonna be the same person you were before, and you’re not gonna be a totally different person. lars isnt some different person unaffected by fears or insecurities anymore. like heck he was still afraid that sadie actually didn’t miss him at all and was maybe even glad that he was gone, something that was completely in line with who he’s been and how he’s felt this whole series. and people go and be annoyed b/c i guess they expect him to just be a character Completely Changed by one dramatic yet brief part of his life rather than a character who’s still just developing and shaped by all his past experiences actually. and who, no, didnt get to choose to shed all fear b/c thats not how it works. he still feels it, he just finally got the taste of taking action anyways. plus even now that he’s not stuck in a crisis over thinking sadie might just hate him now, tbh he does still need to hear it from her that she doesnt lol)

also? tbh? lars’s Whole New Thing has been happening while he’s (mostly) isolated on a spaceship, w just the offcolors and maybe occasional interactions w hostile aliens, which hardly counts as socializing. and sadie’s whole thing of being herself and pursuing her own desires is still happening just around the cool kids really—not to mention all behind a persona. it’s actually not even that like, a lack of confidence = lack of stage fright or vice versa. its a whole other thing for her to stand up for herself and make her own choices in areas that have nothing to do with her band, even though the experiences within the band will help and give her a starting point and something to feel secure in. just like when lars is back on earth and off the ship, he won’t have the same role he has just around the off colors, just being the front of that band in his own, more imperiled, less musical way. and just coz he knows he can hold his own against destructive imperialistic colonizing aliens, doesnt mean he’s gonna be fearless in the face of the cool kids now, or think he can do anything. he’s still faced with the expectations and perceptions from ppl that he did before he left, even if the way ppl act with lars can easily change now. again, just coz things might be easier for the dnuts now doesnt mean they’ve just shrugged off their problems or are now faced with effortless paths in all aspects of their lives

theyve needed a break from the norm they used to have, but Each Other was the least of what was holding them back from changing things up for themselves. it was completely external events as much as anything else that changed things up for them, coz thats how it works sometimes—and within their new circumstances theyve gotten to experience a new situation that lets them be a bit different than they’ve gotten to be back on earth. i mean, they were really restricted. they had the terrible job, both have somewhat strained relationships w parents who dont seem to really understand who their child is, both of them feel pressured by people in general, both have insecurities, both were kind of just faced with a future that didnt involve them being able to just see happiness coming down the line. and it was a big problem for both of them tbh that neither of them really had any friends. sadie was finding it difficult to express herself or be herself, she was always in a scenario where someone (her mom, corporate policy, customers,) expected her to be a certain way that wasnt the real her, she had a crap job, nobody really seemed to know her, her tendency to Hold Back Until You Blow Up could be counterproductive to say the least. lars is stuck in the same job, with nobody thinking he’s particularly good for anything, even his parents not really expecting him to succeed in any way, desperately wanting friends but being too afraid of people to make any, being defensively irritable and pushing people away but unable to be angry on his own behalf. they’re both getting their first chance to be themselves, they’ve both stumbled into Friend Groups where they’re not only respected but supported and even esteemed, they’re both making and acting on choices completely on their own and not being as held back by their fears. but they’re the same people and none of this means the problems they’ve been dealing with are over because of it. they’ve just been forced to adapt to this change that’s come upon them, and they’ve both happened to make the most of it and be getting something positive out of a really crap situation. they could be having these arcs via a different scenario, but it would probably have to be more drawn out if nobody was in fuckin space

getting away from me slightly but its weird to say that lars and sadie Needed to be separated by lightyears thru a horrible experience and one of them is killed and still in space indefinitely. and i dont know how you’d describe what’s happening there as “a break.” that not only implies that they chose to be separated but that they have had the option to be together this whole time and continuously chosen not to, and have considered this whole experience to be a positive thing. an involuntary separation where both really wish they weren’t separated isnt a break. and to say that either of them Need to be separated in this particular way, like, man you know what their relationship needs? someone to be sent an impossible distance away & he died and might die again and might be unable to return. like, no relationship needs that or anything like that. it’d be affected by it sure, and they might be able to find silver linings in it as they have, but its never going to be necessary.....like, fucks sake if it was, how fucked up would that be

again a break would have to be something voluntarily chosen that they believed would be positive for them both, not that they believed would involve mortal peril. and they like, arent enjoying the fact theyre separated. and what the characters are going through is more about their individual developments than how it necessarily applies to their relationship—again i’d argue their relationship was in a decent place actually. not perfect obv, but good...i mean look at how good they both were at recognizing what they were both struggling with re each other. lars didnt Almost Die or anything, until later. and i imagine this stuff is going to help, but not in a “if this hadnt happened their relationship would be doomed” way. and again it is kinda wild to say that any of this might be required of them for any reason, they’re really going thru some shit w all this

anyways 🍩

[sol1loqu1st]

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!

[dateamonster]

Controversial (?) opinion: Even though I understand and enjoy the novelty of say, an orc who owns a bakery, or a werebear who is a cop or something, I feel like stories where monsters are a normalized, integrated part of our current society are kinda antithetical to monsterfucking. It's the act of taking the monstrous, and making it tame, accepted, and uncontentious to the status quo. I completely empathize with wanting to fuck an 8 foot tall dude with tusks, but there's no longer anything monstrous in the monster when they are no longer a challenge to social expectation. Does that make sense? (I don't think lowly of people who read and write that content, I myself enjoy it and I think it has a valid place in the online canon we share! It just doesn't strike me as monsterfuckery)

Controversial (?) anon again, thinking about me prev ask and I just wanted to add: I wasn't arguing against taking something monstrous and making it domestic (like an orc in a bakery), it's more so that I'm not keen on the trend of monsters starting out as fundamentally normal, integrated and unmonstrous, and therefore not developing or challenging their (presumably human) lover. I guess that's what I was trying to say haha. Sorry for not communicating my point very well. Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, I still love domestic monster content, it just sometimes feels like it defeats the appeal of the monsterfucking genre as an exploration of the subversive, and the empathy of monsters with those who are cast aside by traditional social construct. Sorry for annoying you! Just my thoughts x

no worries i definitely get what youre saying and i largely agree. i think its like, a matter of what monster content is to you and what you hope to get out of it you know? like ive noticed a lot of people are into the kind of stories youve described but they dont suit me at all because, like you said, it often removes the element of monstrousness (monstrosity??) that makes it subversive to romantic genre norms.

i think that kind of storytelling appeals to people who are drawn to monsters in the same way theyre drawn to people but with an added element of a different physique or a more exotic feeling approach to relationships, and i think thats fine for them, its just not what i look for in monster stories.

its like the difference between wanting to read a romance for the dramatic buildup versus wanting to read it for the happily ever after wish fulfillment. both can be found and explored within the same genre, but preference is gonna make a noticeable difference on how the story plays out and which parts are focused on.

i cant like back this up but i feel like the reason the more mundane fluffy stuff has such a foothold here on tumblr is because a lot of people seem to migrate here from fanfic writing which a lot of (but certainly not all of) sorta relies on an understanding that all the worldbuilding, big tension, the heroes rises and falls, have been explored in the canon already and we're here now to get some pure wish-fulfillment fluffy (or smutty) filler, if that makes sense. as a result a lot of tumblr monster romance fics are very like.. you know why youre here, i know why youre here, lets skip any lengthy analysis of the fundamentals of how this monster/human relationship works and get down to the good stuff. which works, unless the analysis is the good stuff to you lol

anyway idk where im going with this. i am gonna say tho making your romanceable monster character a cop is, pardon my language, a real fuckin flaccid take and does feel antithetical to what exploring a monster romance should be. thats my controversial statement.

--

send me your unpopular or controversial opinions

[nakadoo]

lmao i wanna write a fic but im too lazy and idk what fandom i wanna write it for but heres like a ramble about what i want to happen

like ok warning i guess: possessive behavior? but its mild. also jealousy lol. i only like that kinda shit in fics but IRL its like >:////

in anycase

chara 1 - introvert with a tight knit group for friends. very caring and loving honestly but it takes time for new people to see them genuinely smile and laugh-- essentially it just takes time for chara 1 to warm up to new people

chara 2 - the person whos in fuckin doki with chara 1 lmao and theyre the complete opposite. theyre an extrovert with a lot of friends (but also only a few really close ones) and they try their hardest to get chara 1 to warm up but again this takes time and carefully reminding themselves that some people like personal space and chara 1 seems like the kind of person who doesnt like physical affection unless its like,, idk earned

chara 3 - chara 1′s best friend since forever. theyre so close and attached to the hip that people are always questioning their relationship status. but its platonic soulmates forever all the way

anyway so chara 1 and chara 2 end up working together in the same office. chara 1 seems aloof and cold but they do their work properly and theyre polite when spoken to so most people dont really think much of them except for “scary looking person whos actually really nice so you dont have to be scared unless you fuck up or something.”

chara 2 seems boisterous and loud and kind of a Mess(TM) but they also actually get shit done well and pretty quickly. chara 1 and 2 end up working on the same project together and a lot of people thought that theyd clash because theyre on different ends of the personality spectrum and also tackle projects in severely different ways. and sure there are a few arguments here and there that are pretty big but they manage to find the middle ground and make it work. after their first successful project together they get closer and actually become friends

chara 2 is whipped so bad but they also respect chara 1′s boundaries. chara 2 wants to make the move but yeah. slow and steady! theyre confident that a relationship between them will be super

AND HERE COMES CHARA 3 TO COMPLICATE THINGS >:^)

anyway chara 3 comes back from abroad. chara 1 takes a day off to even go pick them up at the airport and its lots of hugs and platonic kisses like “THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH” and its nice and soft and fluffy

chara 1 is like ‘hey bitch i love u, ur staying with me the entire time ur here dont u even dare book a hotel’

and chara 3 is like ‘bitch duh i even have a whole list of movies we can watch together just like when we were in high school/college/whatever year their friendship began lol

so anyway in the work place everyone is like “whoa chara 1 is smiling a whole lot more wow dont they look so happy? something good must’ve happened wow. theyre practically glowing, is this what they call love?” LOL

and chara 2 is like “yay!” but also “....why are they so happy?”

blah blah blah story progresses until chara 2 sees chara 1 out at idk a bar or something which they consider weird because they know that chara 1 isnt really one to go out. and just as chara 2 is about to approach chara 1, chara 3 comes in and like “hey babe i got ur drink” and smooches chara 1 on the cheek, as u do with ur friends, and they get all happy again because wow i havent seen my best friend in so long and they are here im so happy kind of feeling 

but to chara 2 its like WHOMST THE FUCK???????????????

yeah ok idk where this goes now lmao i guess its the usual

chara 3: hey lets get outta here im getting tired chara 1: yeah ok ur right same hate chara 2, out of the blue, grabbing chara 1′s wrist: SORRY, THEYRE COMING WITH ME TODAY chara 1: nani chara 3: wAIT WHAT

:^) 

[samanthasroberts]

The Fat Jew’s ‘Money Pizza Respect’ is the worst book I’ve ever read

I wish I liked the Fat Jews new book. It would make a far more interesting piece if he exceeded our expectations. No one I talked to expected it to be good. I bet he didnt even write it, said one friend. I bet he had his interns write it.

To contextualize this for people who arent on the Internet all the time, Josh The Fat Jew Ostrovsky became the center of controversy when he was accused of stealing memes and jokes from comedians this summer. Ostrovsky had been doing this for years, and amassed millions of Instagram followers with his admittedly excellent meme aggregating skills. But comedians took a stand when he signed with the talent agency CAA in August.

Upon reading Money Pizza Respect, there is no doubt in my mind that the unfortunately titled book is penned by the Fat Jew himself; I confidently assert that MoneyPizza Respect is singlehandedly the worst book I have ever read.

His actual sense of humorand Im talking about humor, not the memes he aggregatesis painfully abject. He relies on a Tucker Max-esque style of storytelling, glorifying cocaine and alcohol abuse and fucking his groupies, who all embody a different type of crazy girl stereotype.

In a chapter ironically titled The Eleven Commandments of Not Being the Worst Person Ever, he warns readers that if you aggressively and frequently talk about your sex life, people will think youre gay. When you tell me that you tackled a slam pig and stuffed her axe wound, he writes, I assume that your actual goal is having anal sex with men. Ostrovsky makes sure to note that the only exception to this rule is Dan Bilzerian, who has literally thrown a woman off his roof, breaking her foot, and been accused of kicking another woman in the face.

Money Pizza Respect is laced with homophobic comments. He writes a note to P. Diddy: Sorry for outing you as a homosexual. Im pretty sure you are, but Im sorry. Theres also a healthy dose of sexism, describing his female groupies as a bunch of fours and fives who have giant lady hands hate their dads. To complete the trifecta, he also manages to be transphobic, referring to transgender women as trannies in a chapter chronicling his brothers bachelor party. (When his brother and friends found out the strippers who were giving them lap dances were trans, they left the club immediately.)

Before I met Ostrovsky, I was confused about how he was so successful, especially after reading his book, where he brags about his selfish and generally gross behavior at every possible moment, proudly displays pictures of him wearing a thong made out of beef jerky, and writes things like, Cocaine is the greatest gift the world has ever seen.

When I sat down with him at a press junket, located at an arcade in Chinatown, I immediately understood why hes garnered so much success. He is unfortunately charming and is actually a naturally funny person. Hes like the cool, mean boy in 8th grade, the type who introduced pot to all your friends and made fun of girls for being ugly or not having boobs yet. The type who definitely bullied me, and yet I tirelessly tried to gain his affection.

During our interview, Ostrovsky remained on the defensive, masterful at answering my questions with non-answers. He is somebody who has never taken life seriously, which is perhaps not too difficult for a straight, white, affluent male. He is fundamentally interested in his conception of fun, and hopes youll join him for the ride. If not, fuck off.

Its not that I began to like Ostrovsky or his book any more after meeting him, but I went from hating him to feeling an iota of pity for him. His flamboyant and unapologetic immaturity, his bratty affect: This is what has brought him success, and what I imagine will be his inevitable downfall.

So my approach for this interview, because I know a lot of people have been shitting on you, is to not shit on you.

No ones been shitting on me.

I was curious about how that affected you emotionally, and how you felt about getting blasted by the media.

It was definitely a shitty situation. Im of the Internet, so its like a lot of people screaming about things. I respect trolling. I respect people screaming at one another, which is why the Internet is so fucking great. I definitely didnt take it personally. It was also something that needed to get talked about. People were not on the same page. Like a 38-year-old comedy writer and a 16-year-old Filipino millennial were not seeing the issue the same way.

I try to look at it like I was the face of the whole thing. I mean the Internet is a giant, lawless fuckin thing. Sometimes we need some rules But not too many. Because that would be weird. No parents. But you know, sometimes people get pissed. I obviously see it from the 16-year-old Filipino millennial side. I dont look for credit on my stuff and I dont ever watermark or anything like that, but I also get the other side too. Im old enough to understand both sides. I just want everyone to be happy so were fuckin partying.

Instagram for fucking photos of dogs playing volleyball in sunglasses and iguanas surfing. I just want to have everyone get heard, fix the problem, and then get back to surfing iguanas. It didnt rock me emotionally because I just saw it as something that needed to be discussed. It definitely got dangerous and exciting at some points. People just get so crazy, theres a portion of people who dont even know what theyre screaming about. I got chased by TMZ. Some guy followed me around a Duane Reade recording my phone call. That was tight.

You liked that?

I kinda felt like Leo , for like a second. It was also scary. No one wants that life. I was trying to look at it like this is a conversation that needed to be had. I didnt look at it as being shit on. The Internet is more important to me than my family or anything. I would love to be with the Internet, have sex with the Internet, I love the Internet. Now its a better place.

Why was it important for you to celebrate drugs, specifically cocaine, in your book?

Its a mixed bag. I refer to it as the best and worst thing ever. Part of the ethos of this book is that its a how-to guide in that its like I dont know what you should be doing but I know what you shouldnt be doing. Ive seen every horrible thing. I basically think you read this book and you dont do coke. Because youre like, its gonna make me unbearable. Like my breath is gonna smell like a diaper and get into a super intense conversation about stuff I dont even care about.

I think it depends on how old the reader is. For me, Ive done coke so I understood more where you were coming from in that it can be great and terrible at the same time. From a teenagers standpoint, it might just look really cool.

It depends. Im pretty explicit that its been responsible for the greatest things that ever happened, but also some of the most horrendous things, too. I think its more self-reflective than it is encouraging.

Your book is provocative is many ways. People are going to interpret some of the content as transphobic and homophobic. I was thinking of the chapter where you refer to trans women as trannies.

I dont know what youre specifically referring to.

You wrote about tranny strippers. Thats a contentious word. Many trans people have spoken out about how hurtful they find that term to be. I was curious about how you would respond to those critics.

is a factual account of what happened. Youre talking about an actual pejorative word?

Yeah. Its a slur. There were a bunch of moments in the book where I read something and immediately thought about how angry it would make social justice activists on the Internet.

Social justice people are angry at everything.

I was wondering if you included some things specifically to be provocative.

No, definitely not. First of all, any social justice person can come at me at any time. I literally have more transgender friends who will vouch for me than anyone. They self-identify as trannies. Ask a transgender who is not a nerd from the Internet how they identify, and I bet you will find hundreds who identify as trannies.

I know transgender folks who identify that way. Its like the N-word. If they call themselves that, its OK. But having a cis person is a different story.

Any person who would find offense in that kind of minutia is not someone who should be reading this book.

Its not your audience, thats probably true.

That shouldnt be anyones audience, as far Im concerned.

As I was reading your book, I was thinking about your crazy drug and sex stories as they relate to Tucker Maxs stories from I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Was he somebody who influenced you?

No, thats like bro culture stuff. This is completely different.

Tonally, there were similarities.

Ive never read it, but I also think that in terms of this book, like Ive been living performance art long enough to write a book full of debaucherous stories, but I wanted to go with more pathos, truth. From what I understand from Tucker Maxs stuff, he doesnt really go into too much stuff like that. Not all the stories here are particularly turnt up, as far as Im concerned. There are some that are honest family stories, not every story is about partying.

But a lot of them are.

We can go through it When I was writing it, putting in some emotion and truth, and some real feeling on it, like talking about my mom having sex with Shel Silverstein and being a 9-year-old child actor diva. Shit like that, to me, that is not the same as walking around a bar with a breathalyzer . I dont not relate to it, but Ive never read any of his stuff.

Ostrovsky as a child actor Josh Ostrovsky

Do you differentiate between the Fat Jew as your performative character and yourself as Josh?

No. I dont go home at night and unscrew the hairection , sit down, and listen to This American Life and be like, Oh, what a hard day at work! Being the Fat Jew! No, its all one in the same. To me, that would be disingenuous. I was doing this stuff long before there was anywhere to share it, long before anyone knew about it. Ten years ago, people in New York would be like, Oh thats the Fat Jew, the guy who does crazy stuff. It wasnt something I created and cultivated in order to share on social media for the masses.

But this is your career, this is your passion, but a lot of artists and actors differentiate between their performative self, which is still their self, and who they are when theyre not performing.

Im not an artist or an actor. Im neither.

How do you identify?

Im the only one whos really just going for it. Im genuinely making it up as I go along. I could start a ros company and that could become a real thing. Im about to do the worlds first EDM cologne.

What is that gonna smell like?

I dont know. Thats a good question. Like I dont even know what that means but Im gonna do it. Its 2015. Anything is possible. The world is so ridiculous at this point. I might open a yoga ashram in Toronto. Who knows? Im one of the only people who doesnt consider anything on or off limits. I dont think that it can be defined. We have this human need to compartmentalize, to be like, What are you? But I dont know.

I guess its my job to say, as a writer trying to make sense of what you do.

I dont think theres anything to make sense of. I dont know. What do you think I do?

I think youre a content creator and performer.

Thats vague. But yeah. Im not not. But thats what Im saying. I like to keep people guessing, keep people off kilter. If people think Im a comedian, I will move in a totally different direction and start making cologne. I wanna make people go, What the fuck? Keeping people guessing, keeping genuine conversation going about me, whether its, I dont want to say the word negative, but whatever its gonna be, thats what I am. A conversation starter? I dont know.

Tastemaker?

Conversation piece? Idiot? All of the above?

Whats your goal with your book? Why do you do what you do? Aside from the fact that you just want to do it.

The end goal with the book is that I think I can get some turnt-up 18-year-old to read. Thats the challenge, like, can you get fuckin some kids to read and think its really fuckin chill? Is that doable? Ill literally do it just for that.

Were doing reading raves to promote the book. IRL is what the programs called. Its just like huge DJs and books. Like, can you make them read? I think its doable. I dont think publishing knows how to do it. I dont think parents know how to do it.

So you want to make reading cool?

Kind of. What if Im somehow the guy to do it?

What are your favorite books?

I love Shel Silverstein, and not only because my mom fucked him. Mostly, Im the type to read 100 listicles. Like, what kind of bagel is Rihanna? You know what I mean? One-hundred times Rihanna ate fruit. Im not reading enough books.

No ones reading enough books.

Maybe now? That would fucking weird. To get a fucking 17-year-old whos over it to sit down and read an entire book? I mean I put in some stuff to break up the chapters, like you can color in a picture of Tyrese. I mean, I dont want you to have to read too much.

Illustration by Max Fleishman

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I went to the Rentboy liquidation sale, and all I got was this amazing escort swag

After a massive federal raid, Rentboy had to sell its entire office on Craigslist to pay its lawyers.

By Mary Emily O'Hara — November 02, 2015

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/19/the-fat-jewaes-money-pizza-respect-is-the-worst-book-iaeve-ever-read/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/19/the-fat-jewaes-money-pizza-respect-is-the-worst-book-iaeve-ever-read/