#theyre married dont ask me how

[for-the-love-of-avo]

Found this in my WIPs and thought it was funny, cba to finish it

[vzajemnik]

im truly in such a fascinating position in my life right now i think

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

Tell me about jeeves and wooster like you're a car salesman (I want to get into it now because of you 🤝 just curious what to look for and where, share your mighty old man yaoi wisdom)

HELLO !! AAA tysm for the ask... id be delighted to give a rec to the ceo of old man yaoi herself lol, im putting on my best car salesman voice!! :D

okok so. this car is for you. i remember you mentioning that u like characters who are competent / good advice-givers / surrounded by idiots but arent leaders themselves, and this is jeeves in spades teeheee...

he and bertie wooster are from the series by P. G. Wodehouse set in the 1920s-1930s about this well-meaning dorky guy who keeps getting into trouble (thats bertie) and his amazingly competent valet (jeeves!!!!) - and their dynamic is amazing. it's a little more lighthearted than sheo/haskill or butler/craftsman i think but you may still like it :D

jeeves is so much more competent and intelligent than bertie but always has bertie's best interests at heart. they still have little spats over silly things, like bertie's ugly ties, so jeeves gets to have his prissy little "very good sir 😒" moments <33

the books (all free on Gutenberg) can be read in any order and the tv show episodes (all on Youtube) can be watched in any order :] so u can jump around to see what u like, but if i were to recommend a specific place to begin, it would be this wonderfully-edited video that sums up their dynamic, so u can see if it might be up ur alley:

if u wanted to start w the books id actually give an unorthodox rec which is the short story Bertie Changes His Mind, cos it's brief, it's the only story from the perspective of jeeves, and it offers so much insight into their relationship. and tbh its very gay and basically reads as though it was written by haskill

(^ me revealing the fact that that i got into J&W bc of haskill... the haskill-to-any-other-snarky-butler-character pipeline is so real. plus haskill and sheogorath have been compared to jeeves and wooster sooo <3)

OK THATS IT... thank you sm for the ask i got extremely carried away i just love these two fr <33

[sketchy-scribs-n-doods]

thinking about how someone tried to insist to me that hellcheer was 'gross and pedophilic' because they had 'a huge age gap' and i thought it was the stupidest shit i'd ever heard so-

in true Extra Ass Bitch fashion i calculated roughly what the oldest/ youngest possible ages chrissy could be and the oldest/youngest possible ages eddie could be based on canon evidence (eddie's 2 failed years, chrissy's '86 necklace, etc.) and approximate school cut off dates

anyway, this is a rough approximation (not that it particularly matters because they're both still in the same age range/stage of life so a few years isn't rly much of an issue given their canon interactions) but if anyone was curious:

eddie should have been born in '65 or '66. backwards calculation places chrissy either late '67 or early '68. eddie failed his senior year twice and was supposed to have graduated in '84, he's on his third try. chrissy is head cheerleader and wears an '86 necklace, she's a senior in '86.

the youngest Chrissy could be is about [17yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '68

the oldest Chrissy could be is about [18yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday of around September of '67

the youngest Eddie could be is about [19yrs + 7 months] assuming a birthday around August of '66

the oldest Eddie could be is about [20yrs + 6 months] assuming a birthday in September of '65

even in the 'worst case scenario' where eddie is the oldest he could be and chrissy is the youngest she could be, eddie is 20 and chrissy almost 18

if you go with the opposite, with chrissy being as old as possible and eddie as young as possible, then eddie is almost 20 and chrissy is over 18

the other combinations average out to a 2 year age gap, which for the record, for high schoolers is still incredibly common. again, this is a stupid argument, but i can be spitefully pedantic sometimes and i enjoy having all the possible information i can before i talk shit

and i love to talk shit. so i went to go get the data myself

anyway grace van dien once said that she thinks chrissy is a pisces and i trust her so assuming that's true then chrissy was born sometime between mid february to mid march of '66, meaning chrissy would haven just turned 18 as s4 began, while eddie is still in the 19 to 20 range depending on when you place his birthday

but all of this seems ridiculous when you realize that based on what school year they're in during s4, chrissy was a sophomore the first time eddie was a senior. so like. everything else is just being pedantic for the sake of finding smth to be mad about

either way i rest my case this is a dumb argument to use against the ship, hellcheer haters get bent just say you don't ship it and go

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

[etherylelixyr]

X has stopped replying to my texts. Did I do something wrong..? I must have. Why can't I be perfect like them.

[hirokiyuu]

42. Sol/Dys 😳

42. things you said when you asked me to marry you

"I mean, we don't have to or anything," says Sol; his thumb is tapping relentlessly on the back of Dys's hand and he's not meeting Dys's eyes, still staring out at the forest below with his other hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "Just, um. Y'know. I thought it might be nice?"

It takes him two swallows to push the word out of his mouth: "Nice," Dys repeats, voice cracking.

"I mean, yeah!" Sol's gone a little red, biting a bit at the corner of his mouth in an expression that's half a smile. "Like I said, we don't have to, and I don't wanna make you feel like, caged or trapped or anything, either. And like, I am crazy in love with you, and you love me too --" Dys can't help it, he has to squeeze Sol's hand for that one, and in return Sol's grin sparks a little more brilliant than before, "--so.... I dunno, I thought it'd be cool?"

"Cool."

"This went so much better in my head," says Sol. Finally he looks over at Dys, smile rueful. "Like, I swear, I was gonna sound super romantic and like, really sell you on it, y'know? You were gonna swoon and everything."

Somehow that startles a laugh out of Dys. "I was not going to swoon, no matter what you said."

"You could've! Like, maybe I would've said something that'd totally knock you off your feet, and you'd totally swoon right into my arms."

"That was never going to happen, babe."

It's Sol's turn to laugh now. At some point he's leaned in close enough they're touching from shoulder to hip; he hooks an ankle around Dys's and gives Dys's hand a squeeze. "Hey, I can be romantic," he says, voice low, and he's still smiling but it's small and private, for Dys and Dys alone. "I took you to the very first secret place we ever shared to do this, isn't that romantic?"

Dys blinks, looks around. Somehow he hadn't even realized. "You...." he starts to say, before he gives up and presses his face in Sol's shoulder to hide whatever dumb expression he's making.

"See?" Even without looking he knows exactly what expression Sol's making, too pleased in a way that makes his eyes crinkle. "I'm romantic."

"Shut the fuck up."

Sol does, thank fuck, but not before pressing a kiss to the top of Dys's head that makes Dys shudder like he's eighteen still.

They sit there for a while, legs dangling over the cliff, hands intertwined, before Dys finally manages, "Let me think about it. The... the thing you mentioned."

He can't bring himself to say it. The word's too big to fit in his mouth, even as it ping-pongs wildly in his skull, the fact that Sol wants to.... "Okay," says Sol, squeezing Dys's hand. "Take your time. And like I said, if you don't want to, that's fine. But...."

"You want to."

"...Yeah."

Not a surprise. Sol's kind of always been that way, daydreaming about knights and princesses and happily-ever-afters. No wonder, then, that he wants.... "Okay," says Dys, quietly, tilting his head so he can look out at Vertumna once more, at the first place he ever felt at home, before Sol. "I'll let you know."

In return Sol just squeezes Dys's hand again, tilts his own head to rest on Dys's, and like that they set and watch the horizon.

[atthebell]

I love guapoduo but I remember why spiderhalo was gaining popularity at the start, I miss them interacting

i'm not watching them currently myself but they are very funny together, they're both incredibly silly and annoying so they work really well. i think they had no actual shot at anything canonical (bad is allergic to any solid relationship aside from his whole deal with skeppy and his situationships with foolish and forever, roier thought he was funny but wouldn't have gone for him in any serious way esp. if he wasn't going to either) but its fun to think about how they would work beyond just the insane teasing and kind of darling understanding they have going on (aka troll4troll)

[jrueships]

Bron crushing hard on kyrie is embarrassing

LMFAO

[scramble-crossing]

Bestie I am using the Uno reverse card on you. Uzuki X kariya for the bingo ship

Absolute lights of my life!!! They're my fav twewy ship hands down.

It's really neo that makes me love them so much. I absolutely adore how their little divorce was handled, the fact that there wasn't any big blow up argument and we never see any outright animosity between them, and instead they just sort of...grew apart is so real. At first they were Harriers together and it was easy, but then Uzuki was promoted and Kariya was left behind, and with the Shinjuku incident they both had so much on their plates and they ended up neglecting their relationship because of it. It was never that they stopped caring about each other. Life just got in the way.

I think a lot of people can relate to that, having a roommate or school friend or coworker who you care about a lot, then leaving the environment you became friends in and having to navigate a huge change in your dynamic...I'm sure it's almost universal. And it hits really close to home for me because I've moved a lot in my life and had to learn how to put active effort into keeping up the relationships that I care about. So I really love watching two characters learn to do the same thing.

Of course they're also just really sweet together :] How can I NOT love a duo where every canon description of their dynamic is like "He gets Uzuki like no one else does" "She was especially unforgiving of Kubo for what he did to Kariya" "What's a little insanity among friends? Uzuki and Kariya still operate like two halves of the same whole"??? They are SO perfect for each other this would have been a bingo but I could never bring myself to make them fucked up...they deserve so much...

[piknim]

Nothing solidifies my lesbianism more than talking to a guy

[britneyshakespeare]

james and logan can still backflip

[iron-sides]

actually this does deserve its own post. marvin trina and whizzer in the first half of act 1 are if not actually in terms of how they view each other then functionally in terms of the actual mechanics and actions of their relationships a unhealthy fucking polycule which of part of why marvin is acting like trina just dumped him. bc in his mind they were still together even tho he literally divorced her

[strangersynth]

bc you have things to say doesn't always mean you needa say them let alone it also doesn't always mean it's your place to say them kwim

[rosebudfics]

Professor!reader and severus being married but hiding it from the students, bc they dont want the gossip and are just private people in general BUT one day sev forgets to take off his wedding ring and the golden trio go on this whole mission to find out who hes married to; completely freaking out when it turns out hes with reader cause theyre complete opposites while teaching

(Sorry if this is too long or doesnt make sense :^ i had this scenario in my head for some time lol)

Secret Lovers

Severus Snape x Professor! Reader

Warnings: use of the name "git" a lot lol, reader is the astronomy teacher but you can swap it out for any class, Snape smacks Ron and Harry

A/N: I LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH OMG!?!?!?! also this isnt really set in any specific year but its more leaning towards where theyre older since snape you know.. hits ron and harry over the head and harry has the map <3

You and Severus had managed to keep your relationship secret for a couple years now, with the exception of only Minerva and Dumbledore knowing.

Why does anyone else need to know anyway? It was none of their business!

So one regular morning when you and Sev were getting ready for the day in the early hours of the morning, he had somehow forgotten to take his golden band off. You both would usually keep them in a little ring box at home so they were hidden but safe and put them back on at night, but today Severus had just forgotten to take it off.

You would bid your goodbyes at home before you left together, getting one last kiss in before heading back to Hogwarts, then Severus would put his usual cold face back on.

You both headed to your classrooms like normal, Severus still failing to notice the wedding band still on his finger.

When classes started, everything was going how it usually would: he would deduct house points, snapping at kids whenever they would interrupt his teaching, etc. That is until Hermione noticed a particular shine off her teachers hand.

Hermione looked closer before very quietly gasping. "Holy cricket!" She whispered so only Harry and Ron could hear her.

“What?” Ron asked curiously but not very quietly, earning the attention of Severus.

“On Professor Snape’s hand, he was wearing a wedding ring!” She said in a hushed voice.

“You must be crazy Herminone, there's no way that he’s married to someone.” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah, no ones gonna want to let alone be in any relationship with that old git-” Ron was interrupted by getting smacked over the head by Severus, followed up by Harry getting smacked as well.

Hermione just kept quiet, keeping her giggle to herself.

“Would you mind repeating yourself Mr. Weasley?” Severus sneered down at him.

“...no, sorry.” Ron grumbled.

“Mhm. 5 points from Gryffindor, and that's me being generous.”

After class, Ron, Hermione, and Harry all gathered at the library at break. “Are you sure you saw a ring, Hermione? Was it even on his ring finger?” Harry asked as he sat down some books in front of him.

“I'm certain! The real question is though, to who?” Hermione thought for a minute.

“Harry, why can't we just use your cloak to spy on him?” Ron questioned like it was obvious.

“Brilliant!” Harry exclaimed but Hermione smacked him in the arm.

“That's invading his privacy! It's terribly rude.” She scoffed.

Ron then mocked her, earning a smack. After a while of begs and pleas, she finally caved.

“Alright, alright!” She sighed.

They then all made their way back to the dorm to get everything they needed. Harry also grabbed the Marauders Map so it would be easier to find Snape. And then off they went on their little adventure to hunt down his wife.

They had to do some weaving and dodging to not bump into anyone (they bumped into Neville at some point, terrifying him) until they made it to the staff room. Harry looked down at his map to find Snape and you, they're astronomy teacher, alone.

“What are Professor Snape and Professor y/n doing together?” Ron asked in a confused voice.

Harry hushed him and then looked into the keyhole to find Snape and you talking to eachother.

“Are you sure no one saw the ring?” you asked again.

“Yes, dear, I am sure of it.” Snape said in a somewhat annoyed tone. “If someone did see it, I would be getting hounded with questions!”

“Yeah well not if all the students are terrified of you!” you sighed. “Look I'm not mad, I don't want you to think that, it's just we've gone this long keeping it secret it feels weird to just slip up like this”

Severus stepped towards you and grabbed your face in his hands. “Listen love, no one will know. Maybe in the future we can be more open about it.” He then bent down and kissed her gently, and you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer.

Harry gasped quietly and backed up. He was about to say something before he heard footsteps walking towards the door. “We gotta get outta here!”

They all then scurried off down the hall back to the dormitory.

“Harry, what did you see? What were they doing in there?” Ron asked.

“Its professor y/n, that's who he's married to!” Harry was slightly out of breath from running.

“Professor y/n?? But they're so.. so different!” Hermione was shocked.

“You must be seeing things mate, there's NO way Proffesor y/n is married to the old git.” Ron scoffed.

“I'm telling you! They were talking about how he had forgotten to take his ring off or something and then they kissed!” Harry gushed.

They then talked about why you would ever want to marry Snape for the rest of break. Interestingly enough they next class was with you!

Since you were an extremely nice and open teacher, they felt more comfortable talking to you about it.

"So professor y/n, have you been seeing anyone lately?" Ron asked before class actually started.

You were caught off guard to say the least. "Well... I dont really see how my romantic life concerns any of you," you laugh whole heartedly.

Ron then smirked. "You never denied it. Perhaps another Proffesor that teaches here!" Hermione pinched his side as a warning to shut up.

"I don't know what your getting at, Ron" you chuckle becoming a little worried.

"Well the man I'm thinking of is a mean, old, cranky git that likes potions-"

"Thats enough! You don't ever talk about another Proffesor like that!" You scolded him.

"Alright, sorry proffesor... but im right, aren't i?" Ron smirked.

Harry and Hermione perked up to listen.

You sighed, before making sure that no other student or teacher was around, nd then said "You must not tell anyone."

[sunfortune]

hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭

okay i litchrally have never compiled a list even tho ive been asked before bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.

first. my fav period setting fics <33:

tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!

the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization

in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3

for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet

the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY

green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol

next. modern AUS my best friends <33:

la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3

close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them

chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he doesnt even pay attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she just ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3

sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. took a far fetched premise and somehow made it soooo good. and hot. and cute. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use it for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays

three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.

just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet

the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it

heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it

a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as the batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge where she worked in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. if you arent i wouldnt recommend this lmao. its not a batman au

break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) like prev this entire series gets kind of dark bc it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in. on TOP of the issues kate and anthony already have. i LOVED it. BUT also i am an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN. which may not be the case for everyone.. but again very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot. LOL

take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc

we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer

with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue

theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3