Minho, who moved into Gally's childhood house
unknowingly also moving into an active War Zone™
it's Gally VS Thomas
they're both ghosts
they're fighting over who gets to haunt the place
both of them have attached themselves to the house already and are trying to convince the other to un-attach themselves
attaching oneself to a place is a simple procedure
In fact, it's so simple it can happen on accident for a lot of ghosts
like Thomas, who thought the house was cute and spent so long there that he just woke up attached one day
meanwhile, Gally grew up in the house as a living human and has haunted the place for three years
So he's not about to let some silly accidental ghost take it away from him
any number of ghosts can be attached to a property, but traditionally, only one ghost haunts it
the others just kind of... meander
most ghosts lose interest in staying connected to the physical world
and enjoy floating mindlessly in some forgotten corner of an establishment, wandering in their waking dreams
but Thomas and Gally aren't those kinds of ghosts
Minho isn't even aware of the fight between the two at first
Thomas and Gally don't really pay attention to Minho either
He's not really a "human being with feelings"
he's just another part of the house
that the haunting ghost gets the right to mess with
until Minho starts tearing down the old wallpaper, renovating the showers, replacing the mirrors, etc.
the two ghosts quickly set their rivalry aside to drive away the parasite that's demolishing their precious haunting place
they start off small
Minho can't find his keys, his TV remote is always missing, why is his toothbrush in the toilet, where did all the windows go, was this area of the house always this dark, why is it so cold, why are his blankets trying to strangle him
(okay Gally went too far with that one)
Step 2: ants start stealing his food, faces appear behind Minho in the mirror, rats drown themselves in his morning coffee, the doors open and close loudly at night, the basement stairs try to chew off Minho's feet
(okay Gally went too far again)
before they can get to Step 3, Minho catches on
he guessed that there was a ghost in the house at Step 1
Step 2 made him realize the ghost might be more malicious than he thought
he starts tossing food into the campfire as offerings for whatever spirit is messing with him
a ghost is kind of like a vampire. They need permission to do certain things
such as eating physical food
Thomas, who died last week and is unused to no longer being able to eat, eagerly accepts whatever Minho throws out of the flames
he stops messing with Minho
Minho notices the decline in ghostly antics and increases the food offerings
Gally is offended that Thomas is so easily swayed
"This is why you would've never made a good haunting ghost"
"Okay but you haven't tasted his pasta. He makes really good pasta."
as respectful and knowledgeable as Minho is, he's wrong on one thing: He thinks there's only one ghost
He buys a larger bed and another pillow, inviting the ghost (just one) to sleep. He puts out a second toothbrush (just one). He makes a second dinner (just one) and buys a second kitchen chair (just one)
for all his kindness, Minho only ever invites one ghost
so of course, Thomas and Gally fight over who gets to be Minho's ghost
(at some point you have to wonder if maybe they just like fighting)
"Just haunt the house. You love this house. You've haunted it for three years or something."
"You're just saying that because you want to haunt Minho"
"You want to haunt Minho too!"
"He's in my house! He's mine!"
"I literally died last week! I deserve some sympathy! I'm vulnerable and sad right now! You have no sympathy!!"
"You can get the pasta that he throws into the fire"
they draw hearts in the mirror (Thomas erases Gally's)
they helpfully write grocery lists for him (Gally tears up Thomas')
they drive away pests from his garden (both try to take credit for what's technically a team effort)
Thomas coaxes a stray cat into the house and is heartbroken when Minho tosses the cat back outside, not knowing it's a gift
Gally offers his old childhood toys (memories are the most precious thing a ghost can give) by putting them on Minho's bed and then sulks when Minho doesn't touch them
(he's afraid of angering whatever put them there by messing up the toys)
Thomas irons out Minho's clothes
Gally steals clothes from random passerby's and gifts them to Minho
(definitely Gally going too far again)
(Minho is frazzled by the increase of naked people outside his house)
they TOTALLY fall in love with him during the process
this is important and 100% normal
they start worrying when Minho takes too long to come home from work
Gally and Thomas even detach themselves from their beloved house to go looking for Minho
(who fell asleep at work 'cause his boss overworked him)
(picture that scene from Ratatouille)
Gally drapes a blanket over Minho's exhausted body while Thomas angrily goes to find his boss
he spends the rest of the night terrorizing him
(Gally is impressed by Thomas' ferocity. He doesn't tell him that, of course)
Minho is losing his mind
because he is the receiver (the victim, really) of a ghost's affection
unbeknownst to him, he is in fact the victim of TWO ghosts' affection
and how is he supposed to maintain his reputation as a normal person... if he's starting to feel affection for a ghost
it ends with all three of them kissing btw
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nightingale discovers warhammer (3/???)
thoughts this time include konrad horse, a genshin impact detour, and erebus hate
just realised today that warhammer is made by the british and suddenly everything makes way more sense.
learned more about the Situation that guilliman is in and watched the trailer where he's talking about the tyranids. no wonder he has ultradepression, especially with the way the last words his dad said to him were not even a coherent sentence
status update: still coping. sanguinius is alive in my heart
saw a comment that went "if i was in a room with horus, erebus and a bolter with two rounds, i would shoot erebus twice and then beat his corpse with the bolter" and while i do agree with the sentiment... well, realistically, i would shoot myself first
if i could lift and shoot a boltgun well enough and fast enough to hit my target, i would shoot erebus twice. i wouldn't be in a room with him. he would be in the room with me
does erebus have any fans please be honest
konrad curze reminds me of a horse. yeah i know he's a bat but bats are cute and fluffy (to me. i'm insane.) horses are so unhinged and full of evolution-enhanced hysteria that if a camel farts in egypt while temperature is at 31.5C they will just spontaneously go "okay, i clearly only have one option left: kill everyone in this room and then myself." and they WILL do it. sometimes they just die because fuck you
if konrad curze isn't a horse, why does his last name slant rhyme with horse, huh? konrad horse
"magnus the red would get along with nahida from genshin impact" is the worst thing i've ever said but i stand by it. a knowledge seeker, psyker and scholar like him would in theory get along with the psychic, dream-walking goddess of wisdom. his snootiness and arrogance would piss her off, but she managed to rehabilitate a war criminal mommy issues full-of-seething-rage puppet who canonically is shown as a soggy sad kitten and tried to kill her while he was using the object embodying her godhood to take over her beloved country. while she was freshly broken out of the prison where she was kept since she was born. she can deal with magnus.
the story where the tau try to fuck with a raven guard's brain is so funny. wdym he just gave himself a heart attack. he gave himself a fatal cardiovascular event. that is so insane, this would not fly in any other setting. this is something a horse would do
genestealer cults are fucking sick and the fact that a mindless swarm that can just be dialed down to "we hungry, we evolve" is such a massive threat against empires and civilisations is fantastic
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