#things to note (which i think u all understand but just in case today happens 2 b the day the hate anons come out):

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | 9

jungkook feels guilty about what he did.

✨ title: this is us | (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, bff's younger brother ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) you can read them here on AO3 & Wattpad

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] | next ✨ 10 ~ a blast from the past: part three

chapter nine ~ a blast from the past: part two | wc: 8.4k warnings: flashback to 18-year-old-jungkook, he's young, naïve and wants get his dick wet, alex is a menace to society and jungkook, language, kissing, touching, groping, oral (m,f receiving), spitting, throat fucking, cum swallowing, dirty talk, unprotected sex, creampie, jungkook gets the clap, jungkook denies a hand job, allusions to sex

Jungkook woke up in a cold sweat. He could barely sleep the night before, tossing and turning, dreaming about a girl that wasn't you, as you were lying next to him. He didn't mean to and didn't want to, but he did.

The first thing on his mind was Alex. He couldn't stop thinking about why she was here. The meeting at work didn't reveal anything. It was mostly just an introduction to who she was and her role in the company.

The events from the day before replayed like a horror movie in his head. He shook the image and turned to face you, sleeping peacefully, not knowing what a shitty boyfriend he was.

His mind ran rampant, thinking about how you would handle the news - news of him practically feeling up his ex and kissing her back. God --he felt so lousy and lame and pathetic. He'd completely understand if you'd never want to see him again. You'd already gone through so much with U-jin cheating on you, and now...he was no different, was he?

He kept telling himself it was a moment of weakness and poor choices. It was like he was transported back into the mind and body of his 18-year-old self, remembering what it felt like to be with Alex, what it felt like to be wanted and needed.

Jungkook's stomach twisted and turned, his face grimacing as Alex was still at the forefront of his mind. He couldn't tell now if the growing erection in his sweats was because of you or her.

Closing his eyes in hopes of getting rid of his thoughts, he fluttered them open, moving a strand of hair from your face and gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. You looked like a plump baby cherub when you slept, so he thought, chuckling to himself, finding you endearing in the early hours of the morning. Your mouth was slightly agape, with small puffs of air escaping. He could see your eyes slightly moving while still closed. You were probably going to be awake soon.

He wanted to talk to you and explain everything that happened, and he didn't want to keep that from you. He didn't ever want to lie, that wasn't him, but he needed time to figure out what to say.

His phone was tucked underneath the pillow, and he reached for it, checking to see the time. It was early, 6:30 AM. This was a good time to hurry and get up before you did. He needed to get his mind off of everything. He'd leave a note telling you where he was in case you became worried. He couldn't bear to be next to you with keeping what he did with Alex a secret.

The boxing gym was quiet for a Saturday morning. He set his gym bag down on the bench as he opened his locker, which was filled with dust. Jungkook sifted through a few things, searching for the roll of hand wraps. His trainer, Johnny, walked into the locker room, surprised to find Jungkook.

Johnny snickered. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up finally. Thought I'd have to come to hunt you down myself."

Jungkook scoffed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I've been busy, and I have a life, you know," he said, beginning to wrap his hands. It's been a minute since Jungkook's stepped into the boxing gym - you and work were keeping him busy. But today was different. He needed another outlet to let out all of his pent-up stress.

"I bet your form is shit now," Johnny teased, stepping closer to Jungkook, pretending to spar with him.

"Oh  yeah ?" Jungkook raised his brows. He was always confident in everything he pursued. He gave it his all, not just a hundred percent, more like a hundred and ten percent.

"We'll see once you step in the ring," Johnny taunted again.

Jungkook chuckled, shaking his head. Being back at the boxing gym was good, and maybe this would keep him distracted from you and Alex - mostly  Alex.

"Yah--you have something you need to get off your chest?"

Jungkook was breathing heavily, practically panting, "What? No, I'm good. Come on." He got back into his stance, waiting for Johnny to continue.

"As I said, your form is shit right now," Johnny said, holding up his mitts for Jungkook to strike again.

"Shut up, Johnny," Jungkook retorted. He was taking his anger out on Johnny, which probably wasn't the smartest thing. He knew Johnny could knock him out if he wanted to. As much as he tried to keep Alex out of his mind, she did what she did best - leeching on and sucking the life out of him.

Johnny tested his jabs and blocks, could tell he wasn't in the right headspace, and stopped. "I've been doing this for a long time Jungkook-ah. I know when something is bothering you."

Jungkook punched the mitt harshly, making Johnny stumble back. He held himself up, preventing himself from falling over. Jungkook wiped the sweat from his forehead and took off toward the locker room. He removed his gloves and started to unwrap the tape binding his hands, throwing it on the ground out of frustration. Looking up, he saw himself in the mirror. Turning around, he punched the locker next to his, leaving a dent. He groaned loudly as he pulled his hand away, looking at the damage he had impaled upon himself.

"Fuck!" Boxing wasn't helping.  Nothing was helping. He wished he could go back to yesterday and undo everything - no, he wished he could go back in time and never meet Alex.

" Whoa,  man...you okay?" Jin asked as he walked into whatever this crisis was.

Jungkook grimaced, looking at his hand, which was now covered with cuts and scrapes. It was a stupid thing to do because now he'd have to explain what happened. He was in agony over this whole thing. He  hated  himself so much. He couldn't bear to see the look on your face once he told you what he did.

"Is this about Alex? What the hell happened with you two anyway?" Jin asked, waiting for an answer. "I go out for some fresh air during karaoke, and then you're gone when I come back."

Obviously, Jin knew Jungkook and Alex had something going on. Why else would Jungkook be so distraught and act out of character? It wasn't like him. Jungkook completely ignored him and continued on his way to open up his locker and grab his things.

"I'll see you later, hyung," Jungkook mumbled on his way out.

But Jin wouldn't let him go so easily. "Yah--yah!" Jin yelled, catching up to Jungkook while walking to his car. Jin pushed the door shut just as Jungkook was opening it. "Come on, man, talk to me. What's going on? This isn't like you."

Jungkook's jaw tensed up before letting out an exhale. "I fucked up."

"'Kay...and?"

"You hungry?"

The drive to the brunch spot was pure silence. Jin wanted to interrupt the awkwardness with new jokes he learned, but he could sense it wasn't the right place and time - the distress from Jungkook was enough for him to bite his tongue.

After receiving their food, Jungkook kept indulging in it and avoiding the conversation he alluded to earlier with Jin. Finally, he was fed up.

"Bro--you gonna tell me what's going on, or should I start making assumptions?" Jin asked.

Jungkook was midway chewing through his potatoes, swallowing the biggest gulp Jin had seen - it almost looked like it hurt. But Jungkook continued eating instead of answering Jin's question.

Jin nodded. "Okay fine. Lemme take a stab at what this could be about. Let's start when I brought Alex in, hmm? You started acting super strange - pretty nervous, I might say. I leave the two of you alone for a mere five minutes in the office, and I come back in, and she's practically feeling you up. And then, she can't keep her eyes off of you the whole time while we're at karaoke, and stupid of me to leave you two alone again, because I come back and you're gone. So, if you're not telling me what happened, I will assume the worst. Did you kiss her?"

He glared at his friend and colleague, waiting for him to answer, but his silence warranted what Jin suspected. "Did you tell your girlfriend?"

No, Jungkook thought, 'cause he fucked you instead of telling you the truth.

"I'm guessing that's a no," Jin sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. He felt as though he was caught between a rock and a hard place. Jin loved his friend, and he'd grown fond of you too, but it wasn't his place to say anything.

"I'm going to tell her," Jungkook stressed as he pushed around the rest of his food with his fork. "I'm...just mustering up the courage."

"It's just a kiss, right? What's so hard about telling her about that, unless..." Jin stared blankly at his friend.

Jungkook licked his lips, his other hand nervously picking at the non-existent hair on his chin.

"Please don't tell me there's something else." Another nod of silence from Jungkook confirmed Jin's suspicions. "What did you do, Jungkook-ah?" Jin asked, rubbing his hand over his mouth in exasperation.

He was clearly avoiding Jin's burning glare, about to tell him what he did, but Jin interrupted.

"You know what," Jin held his hands up to stop him. "I don't want to know for fear that I'll have to resist the temptation to strangle you."

"Hyung...I already feel like shit, so please, don't say anything to anyone. I'm going to talk to her, I promise."

After brunch, Jungkook dropped Jin off at home. Peering up, he remembered your first "official" date when he brought you here. He chuckled, being reminded of Jin's note not to fuck at his place, and the two of you didn't, but that didn't mean you didn't have your hands all over each other,  not  watching the movie he chose that night.

Before Jin walked to his front door, he paused, turning back to the car, gesturing for Jungkook to roll his windows down.

"Yeah?"

"You gonna be okay, Jungkook-ah?"

He shrugged because he really didn't know how everything would turn out. He could only assume the worst, and he was prepared for it. Did he want to work this out in whatever way he could? Of course - he didn't want to lose you. You're everything he's wanted. At this point, he was willing to do whatever it took to be with you.

Jin grabbed Jungkook's shoulder, rubbing it to reassure him. "Let me know if you need anything, 'kay?"

Jungkook nodded, rolling his windows back up, his face in his hands, agonizing about what to do next. He knew he should go home and talk to you.

He checked his phone. Nearly two in the afternoon, and a few missed texts from you.

Baby  💫 8:30 AM

Hiiiiiii. You fuck me like a crazy person, and then I wake up alone. You're such a tease! When will you be home? Thought we could hang out WITH our clothes on lol

 Baby  💫 9:27 AM

Gonna meet up with Yuna and Hyunie. See you tonight.

Baby  💫 12:34 PM

Omg babyyy! This aglio e olio is to die for! Wish you could taste

it. We have to come here.

Jungkook  1:56 PM

Hi baby. I was at the boxing gym and had brunch with Jin. Might go on a drive but I'll try not to take too long, 'kay? Love you.

-  2015  -

There were many instances where Jungkook had hoped he was born first instead of his sister. He often observed the funny and clumsy girl with framed glasses from afar, wondering if he would even have a slim chance of her being his. She was over every day after school because her parents constantly argued about something. She often found solace with Jungkook and Yuna. And, of course, he didn't mind having her there, spending almost every waking moment with her.

The final month before 18-year-old Jungkook finished high school, he applied to several schools in the States and was waiting to hear back to see if he was accepted.

He sat nervously at the dinner table with two envelopes in front of him, afraid to open them to discover his fate. He worked hard these last few years to catch up with his schoolwork and to graduate on time with his friends. He only found something he was passionate about once he discovered a love for drawing and gaming.

His 28-year-old crush entered the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for something sweet to drink. You scanned the fridge and glanced at the young boy staring at the envelopes in front of him, nervously tapping his fingers on the table.

"You have to use your hands to open the envelopes. They won't open themselves," you teased, finding a bottle of banana milk on the middle shelf.

He didn't answer but continued to stare at the envelopes. You came over to the table and pulled up a chair next to him, puncturing a hole through the foil of the banana milk. As soon as the straw went through the top, Jungkook grabbed the bottle from you and started chugging down the bottle.

"Yah!" You shouted at him, annoyed at this bratty boy.

He stopped to take a breath. "Noona, you need to open these for me, please. I can't do this." He pushed the envelopes towards the beautiful girl with her hair in a messy top knot bun. His favorite look on you was a plus when you also had on your big nerdy glasses.

You opened the one from Otis College of Art and Design. You scanned the letter without giving away any indication of acceptance or rejection. You turned the letter over, grabbed the next one from Woodbury University, and did the same thing.

He sat there waiting patiently for you to tell him, but you went ahead and grabbed the banana milk he had basically finished. You tried slurping, but there was nothing left. With his wide eyes glaring, you finally broke the silence and chuckled.

"Well...? Noona, tell me, please. I can't breathe," his eyes darting from the envelopes to you to get any kind of reaction.

"Sorry, Kook...you didn't get in," you answered, trying to hold in your laugh. You cleared your throat and attempted to compose yourself again.

He frowned and looked devastated when you told him, but you couldn't lie to your little bunny.

"I'm kidding, Kook. Pack your bags. It looks like you're headed to California," you beamed, reaching across to ruffle his bowl haircut and pinch his cheeks. "My whittle googie is a big wabbit now."

He held your hands, and you continued pinching his cheeks, treating him like a little baby. Then Yuna walked in.

"What's going on?" Yuna asked.

"Jungkookie got into both of the schools in California!" you exclaimed, clapping your hands.

Yuna walked over and hugged him from behind. "Good job Kookie! I knew you could do it. That means we have to start packing, huh?"

"My whittle bunny," you teased him in a baby voice. "Who am I going to bother now that you'll be gone," continuing in your normal voice.

A part of him wished he didn't get in. A part of him wanted to stay. "I'll come back and visit, or you guys could make a trip out and visit me," he suggested.

"Oh, I would love to visit California! I hear it's beautiful. We should do it." Yuna exclaimed.

"Both schools are in Los Angeles, right? I definitely want to go to the beach there!  Ooh --okay, now I'm excited," you squealed at the possibility of visiting.

Jungkook was already thinking about everything he'd take you to do and see. He'd love to be your tour guide once he is all settled in.

When Jungkook arrived at his dorm, the door was ajar, and he opened it further. "Hello?... Is anyone here?" He announced as he now fully stood in the room. No one was in sight, but he noticed a set of suitcases in front of the closet.

He heard two voices coming behind him, laughing and chatting as they entered the room. Two boys entered the room, one with a brown bowl haircut and the other with dyed orange hair. They stopped their chatter once they saw their new roommate.

"Oh-hey, what's up, man?" The orange-haired boy held his hand out to Jungkook. "I'm Jimin," Jungkook reciprocated, giving him a nod, "and this is Taehyung."

"'Sup, man?"

"I'm Jungkook," he said sheepishly, nervous, unsure what to do or say. It seemed they already knew each other, and Jungkook was the odd man.

Jimin brushed past Taehyung, plopping himself on the bottom bunk, splayed on top of the navy duvet, and Taehyung did the same but on the top bunk.

Jungkook decided the best thing to do was unpack. Even though he had just got off an eleven-hour flight, he knew he needed to stay up for the jet lag to wear off. Unzipping his large suitcase on top of his bed, he began stashing his undergarments and socks into a drawer while separating his shirts and bottoms.

"What's your major?" Taehyung propped himself on his elbows, peering at Jungkook.

Holding a few folded shirts between his hands, he turned to answer Taehyung's question. "Game Art and Design. What about you?"

"Cool. I'm doing filmmaking, Jimin's boring, and he's doing marketing."

Jimin took a fist and punched the bottom of Taehyung's bunk. "Yah--You'll need my help marketing all the porn you want to make."

"It's not porn! They're erotic films."

Jimin scoffed. "Same thing."

The two continued to bicker, and Jungkook couldn't help but smile. They were all going to get along just fine.

It's been four months since Jungkook called home. He figured he should video call his big sister so she wouldn't worry about him. His mom was already leaving multiple voicemails and text messages asking him to call her back, and he might as well video call to get it over with.

"Well, well, well, look who decides to call," Yuna teased him.

"Ha-ha, very funny, Noona. I've been busy."

"Too busy to call your own family? "

"Sorry," he mumbled, knowing the  real  reason why he was always tied up.  Literally.

But his heart skipped a beat when he heard the familiar voice he was always so fond of. He missed hearing the sweet sound of you.

Moving into the frame, you peeked your head in. "Yah--cool guy...We let you leave, and you never call anymore? Rude,"  your arms were crossed, pretending to be mad at him.

He blushed, thinking you were cute. " Noona ..." he whined, "You have to let me live life a little. You know...get some life experience." Whatever that meant - but he definitely got a lot of life experience these past few months.

"Just don't do anything stupid, okay? I don't wanna have to fly all the way over there and kick your ass."

He chuckled. You were always saying things like that. He knew you had his best interest at heart and would forever look out for him. To be honest, he low-key wanted to do something stupid just so you'd come to rescue him.

"Here, talk to him for a second. I think Namjoon's gonna burn down the kitchen if I don't help him."

Jungkook nodded slowly, unsure of what to say next. He wasn't expecting to talk to you. He was expecting to talk to Yuna. "So...what are you guys doing?"

"We're just hanging out at Yuna's, having dinner. Well, more like burning dinner."

"Who's we?"

"Me, Yuna, Namjoon, and U-jin."

He threw a little in his mouth at mentioning that name. Guess you were still with that douche. He thought you would have dumped him by now, and he thought you deserved better.

"What about you? What are you up to?"  

"I'm just in my dorm, studying. I decided to take a break and call."

"Are you enjoying your time there? Making friends?"

"Yeah, I am...it's been fun. I miss home, though." He really wanted to say that he missed you and probably thought about you too often at night when his roommates were gone. He missed the warmth of your voice, the kindness from your eyes, the softness of your hair...he could go on and on. He should stop before he got a hard-on while talking to you.

"Aw, Jungkookie. I'm so happy to hear that!"

Jungkook adjusted himself in the chair, and you saw something that caught your eye.

"...are you in your underwear while talking to us?!"  You cringed and hid your eyes behind your hand.

"What? No." He moved, revealing he was in shorts.

You peeked through your hand and laughed. "Is that what the cool kids are wearing these days? Leather jackets and bright blue shorts?"

He smirked. "Yup. I'm a cool kid now... Nah, I'm heading out with my roommates and a friend after this."

"Ah, okay. Well, I won't keep you then. It was good seeing you, Jungkookie. Don't be a stranger and call your mom and Yuna more, but I'll let you go."

He heard Yuna yelling in the background. "Tell him we love him."

"We love you, Jungkookie. We're so proud of you."  You flashed a big smile and waved before hanging up on him.

"I love you too..." he trailed off as the screen went dark. It's been a while since he's seen you, and he soaked up every second he could. Your hair had grown out just a smidge, and there was a hint of blonde peeking from your hair, and he also noticed the new glasses adorning your pretty face.

He'd thought about texting you many times, wanting to see how you were doing, to catch up on life, wanted to know all the new shows you were working on, wanted to know all the gossip happening with the actors on set. But it would be weird for him to message you out of the blue, wouldn't it? He'd much rather talk to you than his sister. Yuna would just scold him for this and that, but you...well, you'd do the same, but you'd do it because you genuinely cared - and not out of obligation like his sister.

A knock at Jungkook's door interrupted his thoughts of you. He quickly stood to open it, and rushing in was Alex, immediately pushing him against the door, connecting her mouth to his. "God, I missed you so much," she whispered, kicking the door closed behind her, beginning to mark Jungkook's neck with purple bruises.

"Ale --aren't we meeting Tae and Jimin at the club?" Jungkook groaned when Alex palmed him through his blue shorts, stroking his growing erection.

She pulled away to look at him, shaking her head. "Told them we're gonna have a quiet night in and that they should go without us."

If Jungkook could describe Alex, she was a menace to society and more so to him. He had met her in his Public Speaking class, as she was the TA, then she began popping up everywhere, like in his Figure Drawing class, where she was the live model. She became interested in him when she realized his talent, especially drawing. She said she could help him excel by being his personal model. Of course, Jungkook being young and naïve, he fell for her tactics, and now here he was, probably about to fuck her senseless, just like how she liked it.

To be honest, it wasn't love. It was infatuation. Lust. Purely sex, nothing else. He never thought his first encounter with sex would be like this. He thought he'd be in love long before thinking about having sex. But it was a stupid, innocent dream.

"You want me to do what?" His doe eyes widened at her.

"I want you to fuck my throat," Alex explained again. Such an innocent mind that she was going to fuck up, she thought.

"But...why?"

Alex laughed. "Oh god, Jungkook. You don't want me to suck off that fat cock of yours?"

"No...I just...don't want to hurt you, that's all."

She smirked. "You're cute."

"Don't call me that," he pouted. He didn't want to be cute. He wanted to be taken seriously, and it seemed she still thought of him as a baby sometimes.

"But you are, and you won't hurt me."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, come on..." She urged, starting to palm him again through his shorts. "You're already rock hard after just talking about you fucking my throat? You're so fucking adorable. I can't stand it." Alex grunted before pulling down his shorts, letting his cock spring out, and stroking it. Jungkook moaned in response. He wasn't sure if he could actually do what she wanted, but he was willing to try anything.

"Come on, big boy. Show me what you got," she stated, kneeling, facing the massive cock in front of her, then peering up at him through her lashes. "God, I love having you in my mouth so much," she said, gathering her saliva and spitting on his swollen cock. Her hand spread the saliva up and down his shaft, causing Jungkook's eyes to flutter shut and his cock to twitch in her hand. She loved seeing him writhe and squirm before her. Her favorite thing in this world was her sweet, innocent, naïve doe-eyed boy.

Alex swirled her tongue around his reddened tip, then laid her tongue flat underneath his length, slowly taking him in, inch by inch, along the prominent vein, causing him to hiss and curse under his breath. She tugged him closer, pushing him even further inside her mouth. Jungkook's head lolled against the wooden armoire, breathing heavily as Alex bobbed up and down.

Suddenly, Alex pulled away. "Come on, baby. I said fuck my throat," she smirked, resting from her previous position on her knees to tucking her feet underneath her ass. Her eyes gazed at the sweet boy in front of her.

All of this was still new to Jungkook. Again, he had been seeing Alex for the last four months, not dating. It was more just crazy, insane sex when they were together. He had an idea of what she liked, considering what she was asking him to do. So, he thought he should surprise her.

"You want me to fuck your throat?"

She nodded.

"Then beg," he deadpanned.

Alex cocked an eyebrow, thinking that she'd taught him so well. "Please, Kookie. I need that big fat cock to fucking ruin me ."

He grabbed the base of his erection, stroking and tugging while the tip leaked pre-cum. "You're such a slut for this cock, huh?" he had heard that line from watching porn.

Alex hummed, almost giggling at how confident he was becoming.

Jungkook gently stroked her rosy cheek, then tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear before his hand gripped the back of her head, pushing Alex toward his hardened length. "Open your mouth," he stated boldly.

She grinned as he asked, opening as wide as she could before Jungkook's hips rolled forward, bucking himself into her mouth. He pushed as far as he could a few times, making her gag, eyes glistening from the tears forming and slowly falling from the corner of her eyes. Her saliva began to run down her chin as Jungkook continued thrusting into her mouth, pushing against the back of her throat. He groaned loudly, chasing the climax building within, his knees starting to buckle, almost losing his composure.

Jungkook wouldn't be able to last any longer. It was too much for him to handle. "Wai...wait...where can I cum?" he asked, breathing heavily, trying to keep his composure.

Alex pulled off, amplifying a loud pop along with saliva when she did. "In my mouth, bunny. Where else?"

"Are...are you sure?" He was afraid that he wouldn't want to come anywhere else but her mouth if he did that.

She answered by putting his cock back in her mouth, rapidly bobbing up and down, digging her acrylics into the back of his thighs. She took his hands, making him grab her hair. He saw it as a sign that she wanted him to thrust harder into her, and he did so willingly. The pent-up tension brewing in the pit of his stomach finally found its sweet release. A few slips of curses and moans left his mouth as she milked everything he had in him.

"Fucking hell--"

Alex swallowed his cum, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "So...did you like that?" she asked, the corners of her lips curving into a smile.

Jungkook down at her, nodding shamefully. "I did...it felt dirty," he stated, helping her stand.

Alex laughed, finding him absolutely adorable. So young, so innocent. "Oh, bunny, you have no idea what I'm capable of."

The next couple of months continued like this, with Alex in control and Jungkook doing as she asked. He never once questioned her wants and needs, mostly because he liked having sex with her, and he didn't know if he'd ever get to have anyone like this ever again.

One thing that struck Jungkook was that he'd never been to Alex's place. They often had sex in his dorm or the most random places - his heart raced when they were in semi-public spots.

During the week of finals, Jungkook could be found in the library like many other students, but Alex had something else in mind. She discovered Jungkook diligently studying at a table with Jimin and Taehyung. She crept up behind him, snaking her arms around his neck, whispering something indistinct in his ear, causing him to turn his head. He excused himself from his friends, but Jimin and Taehyung weren't stupid - they knew their sex tells. So fucking obvious.

Alex dragged Jungkook past the history book section, opening the door to the broom closet and locking it as she shoved Jungkook in. She turned around with darkened eyes, watching him like he was her next meal. Walking over, her hands splayed against his toned chest, Alex shuddered, thinking about how far along Jungkook had come. From the innocent boy she started playing with for fun to the sexy young man she was teaching him to be.

Jungkook strayed towards her, his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her to him, connecting his mouth to hers. His kisses were usually slow and gentle, but not this time. They were hungry, impatient - tongue fiery and frantic. He hooked his arms under her thighs, lifting her up and causing a small yelp.

Alex loved when he was dominant, it took him a while to get to where they were, but it was all worth it, she thought. He laid her down on a table filled with cleaning supplies, but he didn't care. He pushed them aside. She propped herself up, waiting to see his next move.

Jungkook lifted one of her legs, pressing kisses along her ankle, shin and thigh, putting it down to do the same to the other. She grinned at him, teasing her. The wetness was already apparent when he pulled her lace panties aside, pussy aching for his touch. He inserted two fingers into her slit, then withdrew to spread her arousal on her folds, circling a few times before rubbing her clit, causing her to bite back a moan, which was a first. She wasn't one to be quiet during sex.

He dropped to his knees, adjusting the erection in his grey sweats. Alex slid off her panties, throwing them off to the side, ready and waiting for Jungkook. He hooked her thighs, pulling her closer to the edge, so he could have better access. Kissing her clit, then flicking his tongue short and quick. Her legs began to shake as he lapped between her folds for a few minutes, then lowered himself, darting his tongue into her entrance.

Alex writhed and squirmed underneath his touch. "Fuck, that mouth of yours is gonna kill me. I taught you so well," she moaned, looking down at the boy with darkened eyes who was huddled in between her legs.

Jungkook continued relishing in the pussy he grew to love so much within these last few months, one he would never get tired of. He stood on his feet, hovering over Alex, pushing up the sweater in between what he wanted. His mouth enveloped her nipple, gently biting as he pulled away, then kissing the top of her breasts while letting two fingers slip inside her pussy, causing lewd sounds to fill the small closet.

"I need you in me, bunny. Please," Alex whined before connecting her mouth to his, reaching to palm his hardened length, stroking him through his sweats. "God, I love your cock so much. Please, baby, fill me up like a good boy?"

He withdrew his fingers and stood, pulling down his sweats and boxers just enough to let his cock spring out. He grabbed the base of his shaft, slowly stroking himself. With darkened eyes, he told Alex to get down and turn around for him, which she willingly did. Jungkook lifted her skirt, plump ass on full display, his hand massaging one cheek while the other continued to jerk himself off, getting ready to stuff her.

Being with Alex was exciting because he never knew what she'd have up her sleeve, like today - fucking inside the library's broom closet. The thrill of being caught got Jungkook's blood pumping, primarily to his dick, but regardless, he loved it.

Jungkook placed himself at her entrance, spreading her slick with his tip. Alex mewled, pushing her ass towards him, urging him to hurry.

"I don't have a condom."

"I'm on the pill. Don't worry so much, bunny. Come on, cock in pussy.  Now ."

He hesitated for a mere second before saying fuck it and pushing himself into her. "Shit --" Forgetting how much he loved going raw, even though he knew it was stupid to do so. He took a moment to calm himself, hands grasping tightly onto her hips, beginning to rut rapidly into her cunt, pounding repeatedly. "Fuck --you're so tight," he hissed. "Always so fucking tight for me."

Alex peered over her shoulder with a grin as she watched Jungkook's cock disappear into her. "You fuck like a cute little bunny. So eager," eliciting a moan while Jungkook thrusts harder and deeper into her.

Jungkook's eyes suddenly widened, quickly pausing. "Sorry..." Thinking he was too impatient with her.

She chuckled. "No, I like it. Keep going. You're doing so well," she praised the young man with big doe eyes.

He rolled his hips, fucking her as hard as he could, sweat beginning to form on his hairline and temples. Jungkook watched Alex's ass bounce vigorously as he continued pounding as hard as possible, making the table squeak beneath them.

"Bunny--just like that. Fuck--fuck--ah!" Alex cried, holding her hand out against the shelf in front of her to keep herself steady. "Shit -I'm gonna come."

Jungkook bit down on his lower lip, grasping tighter, imprinting his hands on her hips. Alex finally let a cry of pleasure, clenching and creaming around Jungkook's cock. He fucked her through her orgasm, and now in hopes of chasing his. It had been building for quite some time. He was nearly at the cusp. The muscles in his abdomen tightened, pooling with fire, ready to burst into flames.

Alex reached back to play with his balls, and that's what pushed Jungkook over the edge. The tension in his abdomen snapped, painting her walls with his cum. He grunted through the last few thrusts, emptying himself into her pussy. Jungkook panted, breathing heavily as he slumped over on top of Alex, kissing her back.

"You're gonna be the death of me."

As the school year ended, Jungkook barely made it through his final exams and projects. The one thing bothering him wasn't stressing over them, but it was something else.

" Bro --what the fuck are you doing?" Taehyung's eyes widened at the sight of Jungkook with his pants down. He and Jimin had just returned from dinner and found Jungkook in a compromising position in the bathroom.

"Dude-- get the fuck out! " Jungkook cried, trying to close the door but considering it was two versus one, his chances weren't looking good.

The two of them held the door open. "Are you checking out your balls?" Jimin laughed, falling over to Taehyung, trying to hold himself up. But they couldn't help but laugh at their young friend.

Jungkook groaned, slumping over while his pants were still down. "Ah--shit!  It fucking hurts."

"Your balls hurt? Here, lemme see," Taehyung stated.

"Get the fuck away from my balls," Jungkook threatened his friend.

"Bro--just lemme see them."

Ten minutes later, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung were sitting on Jungkook's bed, staring blankly outside their dorm room window. With the amount of sex, all three were having with different girls, minus Jungkook, only having sex with Alex, one of them was bound to get something. Stupid boys.

"Can't believe you got the fucking clap, bro," Taehyung said, shaking his head. "I knew she was gonna give you something."

"Shut up," Jungkook turned to Taehyung, shoving him on the bed. "Fuck, man," he groaned, throwing himself back.

"What are you gonna do?" Jimin asked. He was concerned for his friend, mainly because this was Jungkook's first sexual partner, and then to end up with an STD too. Poor kid, he thought.

"Gotta talk to Alex, I guess. What else am I supposed to do?"

"She's definitely fucking someone else besides you, Jungkookie. How else do you get an STD?" Taehyung's comment wasn't reassuring Jungkook at all. It was worrying him even more. "Unless..." Taehyung's head sprung up, glaring at Jungkook.

Jungkook sighed. "I'm not having sex with anyone else, only Alex." But fuck, Taehyung was right. How else could he have gotten it? Then he remembered something. "SHIT!"

"What?" Jimin and Taehyung asked.

"I went down on her too."

Jimin and Taehyung scooted away from him for fear of getting the clap.

"You guys are so stupid. You can't get the clap from me unless you're sucking my dick."

The two jokingly gagged. "Get away from us, Jungkookie!" Taehyung teased the young man.

Alex was a hard person to get a hold of when Jungkook needed something, and he clearly needed to get to the bottom of this. He asked everyone he could and finally got an answer from one of his classmates, saying they saw her head into one of his professor's offices.

When Jungkook arrived, he lightly knocked on the door, not hearing a response even though he could hear movement and sounds from the other side. With the door ajar, he peered in, discovering a scene he thought he'd never find in a million years.

"What in the actual  fuck ?" Jungkook's jaw tensed, fist clenched as he caught Alex half-naked, straddling his professor.

Alex didn't look fazed at all. Instead, she grinned, "Wanna join?" She continued to rut against the man. 

But Jungkook's professor looked mortified at the sight of him.

"You're fucking disgusting. Don't ever talk to me again."

"Bunny ..." she pouted, standing up, pulling down her dress, and chasing after him. "I'm sorry."

Jungkook scoffed. Her apology didn't sound genuine one bit. Did she have any guilt or remorse? Their professor was fucking married, for Christ's sake. He shook his head, thinking about how many months he's wasted on her.

She held onto his arm, but Jungkook quickly ripped it from under her. He was disgusted, didn't know what to do with himself, and needed to scrub every inch of his body to rid himself of her. Jungkook gave her the once-over with such loathing in his expression. "Bye, Alex." Then he glanced over at his professor, who was trying to hide his embarrassment in his hands, which was in no way going to help. "By the way, she's got the clap, and now, so do you."

Jungkook huffed, beating himself up along the way back to his dorm. He was so stupid. Stupid to think that Alex actually liked him, thought that maybe if he were good enough, she would want more with him, perhaps even be his girlfriend. But Jungkook was nothing more than a plaything to her. At this moment, he contemplated calling you, asking you for advice on what to do because you always knew what to say. But he also didn't want to tell you what he had been up to, how stupid he's been to have let his dick get the best of him.

He cried out when he arrived at his room, thinking his roommates were out. Jimin immediately popped up from his deep sleep. "What's going on? What happened?" Jimin asked with rest still heavy on his eyes.

"Fuck-man. Fucking Alex-I can't believe her."

"What? What did she do?" Jimin now sitting up, rubbing his eyes, trying to pay attention to his friend.

"She was fucking Professor X." They referred to him because he looked like James McAvoy from X-men.

Jimin gasped, mouth agape. "No way. How did you find out?"

"How else? She does what she does best. Fucking people in the most public places - in his office."

"Holy shit- -" Jimin said, standing to comfort his friend. "I'm sorry, man."

Jungkook shrugged. "It's no one's fault but my own."

Present Day

And he was right. It was no one's fault but his own.

He could've said no to Alex. He could've stepped away when she caged him against the wall. He could've made up an excuse to get out of karaoke. But once he saw her and was close to her again, it was like he was transported back into the body of the 18-year-old who was infatuated with her, longed for her, and ached for her touch. That was the kind of effect she had on him.

Jungkook didn't realize he had been driving for so long. He snapped out of it after hearing a few pings from his car, indicating new text messages. He tapped on the screen for the robotic voice to read it aloud:

Baby  💫 7:32 PM

Hey...haven't heard from you since this afternoon. Are you okay? Just wanna make sure your car didn't fall into a ditch.

Do you want to reply?

"Sorry, baby. I lost track of time, but I'm alive. I have a long drive back. Don't wait up. I'll sneak in a kiss when I get home. Love you."

Do you want to send it?

"Yes."

Baby  💫 7:35 PM

I don't mind waiting. See you soon.

It was nearly midnight when you decided to shut off your laptop finally. Your eyes were droopy and heavy-lidded from writing for the last few hours and waiting for your boyfriend, and you didn't anticipate him to be gone all day.

Setting your laptop on the side table, you shifted into a comfier position, pulling the fluffy duvet underneath your chin, asking Google Home to turn off the bedroom lamp. You suppose you'll just see Jungkook whenever he comes back.

A few hours had passed, and you were feeling restless. You were in the in-between stage of waking and falling asleep for the umpteenth time when you heard Jungkook shuffling in. "Hi," you mumbled, turning to face him and reaching to find his lips. "What time is it?"

"Almost two."

 You groaned, shifting into a better position. "It's so late. I thought it would've been nice to spend some time together."

"I'm sorry, baby. I went to the gym, had brunch with Jin, and then went for a drive. I didn't realize how far I had driven before turning back around," Jungkook muttered against the shell of your ear, arm draped over your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

Your eyes fluttered open, finding him shirtless, hair damp from a shower. This look was one of your favorites - him freshly out of the shower. You couldn't resist coaxing another kiss from him, which he freely gave, then you snaked your arm around his shoulders, pulling in and kissing him deeply. You could feel him trying to tear away from your kisses, and you pouted when he got his way.

He softly giggled at how affectionate you had suddenly become. Jungkook lay on his back, head buried into the soft pillow, letting out a soft yawn.

It wasn't long since Jungkook fucked you like a madman, but you always yearned for his touch. You inched closer to him, letting your hand wander to the bulge hidden underneath his boxer briefs, softly palming his length a few times, eliciting a moan from him.

Don't get him wrong. He  really  wanted you to touch him, but he felt ashamed. Guilty. He didn't feel worthy of you. Didn't deserve the pleasure you wanted to give him.

Jungkook gently gripped your wrist, pulling it away from his building erection. "I'm sorry, baby. You don't have to do that. I'm pretty wiped from today."

You cleared your throat.  Is Jungkook denying a hand job?  That was a first. "Is everything okay?" You noticed he was acting out of character. You knew something was bothering him, but you didn't want to push him to say anything until he was ready.

He pressed his lips on your forehead, pulling you in for a hug. "Yeah, I'm just tired. I had a long day, and I just want to cuddle, if that's okay."

"Yeah...of course. I missed you."

"Missed you too."

"I love you."

Jungkook bit into his bottom lip, which was quivering. "I love you so much," he whispered shakily, trying his best to hold back tears.

Once again, when you awoke the following day, Jungkook had already disappeared. The warmth from your bed is gone. Absent. Non-existent. Whatever was on Jungkook's mind must've been eating him from the inside out because you'd never seen him like this. Quiet. Unresponsive. Typically, it was the other way around. It was always more challenging for you to share your feelings, but Jungkook... always wore his heart on his sleeve.

But the soft clinking and sizzling from the kitchen gave you some reassurance, along with the aroma of espresso filling the air. Jungkook wasn't gone - just cooking. You were grateful to know he was still here and not dodging you like you were speculating - but again, it was just speculation. You were drawing your own conclusions without actually talking to him like grown adults should be doing.

Regardless, you pushed those thoughts aside because you were happy to have Jungkook around today. The two of you could have a lazy Sunday, and life had been too busy for the both of you, and it would be nice just to laze around and do nothing.

"Morning," you announced, entering the kitchen.

Jungkook had already had a full spread of breakfast goods when you approached the counter. He turned in your direction with a soft smile. "Morning, baby," he whispered, leaning down to kiss you, which you reciprocated willingly. His denial of a hand job from last night caused some bitterness because you'd been missing his touch, so this kiss would be enough for now. He returned to his position of flipping over the bacon once more to finish cooking them off.

To say that you were horny was an understatement. Jungkook fucking you like a madman the other night sparked something very primal in you. Snaking your arms around his waist, you made it a point to press your breasts against his back.

His nose scrunched, giggling at your obvious tell, peering over his shoulder at you. He asked, "Horny?"

"Very," you shamelessly admitted while kissing his back, one hand reaching towards the elastic on his grey sweats.

"You're going to make me burn the bacon," he smirked, turning off the stove to ensure he wouldn't burn all of his hard work.

"Then you could have me for breakfast instead."

Jungkook lightly chuckled. "Sounds very tempting."

You ran your hand past the elastic underneath his boxers towards his bulge, gently palming him. "I think I want sausage this morning," you hummed. Your joke was cheesy, but you couldn't help it. You'd been aching for him all day yesterday.

He set his chopsticks down, turning to face you. "Yeah?" he grinned. "Well, I won't stop you."

The lazy Sunday was perfect. The two of you cuddled and lazed around. Jungkook played games, and you scrolled through Netflix. Also, you were very satisfied with breakfast, especially the sausage. You made it a point to fuck him like a mad woman. It was only fair.

Towards the end of the night, while settling into bed, you noticed that Jungkook was still pretty quiet throughout the day, and whatever was on his mind was still gnawing at him.

You snuggled up to him when he climbed into bed, drawing imaginary shapes onto his chest. "Jungkook..."

"Yeah?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

Immediately, he looked at you, pulling your chin towards him. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. You just seem distant these past couple of days."

Was he that obvious, he thought. Shit. He was awful at hiding his feelings. Not that he should, because you deserved to know the truth. He knew that the more he put it off, the more it destroyed him.

"There's a lot on my mind, and I'll tell you soon. I promise," he stated, softly caressing your cheek.

Could you have been the annoying girlfriend and tried to get it out of him? Probably yes - but you weren't one to talk because you also had things you needed to tell him - about your miscarriage and your mother.

Peering up at him, you could see his eyes glisten, so whatever was on his mind, you figured it was serious. You croaked out a ‘kay’ before kissing his chest, your hand laying across his stomach, clutching him closely. You just hoped that whatever it was, you'd be able to weather through it together.

✨ next ~ a blast from the past: part three

[trelkez]

I haven't had time to really dig into my thoughts on the OFMD finale yet, but until I can do that, I just want to note that

a) It does suck when someone's favorite character is killed off, and acting like people don't understand media and/or real life if they get upset about character death is weird to me.

b) I don't entirely disagree that sometimes character arcs are best served with an ending in death, and I do think that the writing was on the wall for Izzy (I went into the finale expecting it), but "the narrative needed it" is only a reason to do a thing, not a justification of how the thing is done or what context it lands in.

c) To that point: when a character evolves from aggressive homophobia to feeling safe to experiment with queer expression and then immediately dies, that's ... an entire can of worms, and I get why some people are uncomfortable with it. I'm not sure they thought through what they were doing there.

d) My read is that, beyond the significance of Izzy's death to Ed's narrative - which I will not be getting into today, I have an entire U-Haul strewn apartment here and that's all the messy unpacking I have the hours for at this time - Izzy's death is meant to symbolize how far the crew has come from the violent, cruel piracy that Izzy encapsulated, to set them off on their own. But by the finale, what Izzy really symbolized is that you can grow as a person, move on, do better, and I think that his continued presence as the embodiment of real personal growth would have been a much stronger symbol. This way, the vibes are, "you grew and you're done now," but that's not how growth works.

e) In any case, I wasn't particularly thrilled with the ending overall, but I could actually hear the fanfic engines firing up as it was all happening, so here's to all of the words people are going to write about it! Excited to have time to look at fanfic again someday.

[dbfandom]

Uh, seems I should give a crash course of Japanese needed to understand Dragon Ball 101... and some things you see in the fandom lol

Just out there: I'm a linguist / grammar nerd, my knowledge of Japanese as a whole is very limited. I just use the following tips to understand most of what's happening and how I deconstruct things, as well as why/how certain things are written!

So here, please check it out if you're interested in how I decipher most of it!

Today.. writing systems !

Japanese uses three writing systems (well, 4):

Hiragana: syllables; mostly used for prepositions and words. They're round and have few strokes.

Katakana: syllables; mostly used for foreign-loan words, emphasis, sounds, and machine-caused onomatopoeia. They're square and have few strokes too.

Kanji: ideograms; Kanji are (usually) words/concepts on their own and there's thousands of them. They come from Chinese. On their own, or coupled with each other, Kanji carry their own meaning. They're also combinatory (aka one kanji can contain many kanji within; check how tree 木, woods 林 and forest 森 are written for example; yup, it's just more trees squished together lol)

Romanji: latin alphabet letters (if I write "watashi", this is romanji). The transcription of japanese to the latin alphabet actually follows some rules, put a pin on it I'll explain that later.

Hiragana and Katakana are the same syllables, if it helps you out, think of them as lower and upper case letters (they don't have the same uses tho). Together, they're called kana.

In green: しかし (shi-ka-shi), means "however"); this is written in hiragana

In red: マシン (ma-shi-n ; machine) and ドクターゲロ (dokutoru—gero ; doctor gero)

in blue: 人造人間 has the kanji for man/person twice. It literally translates to "man-made human being" (and in English we've translated this to Artificial Human or Android, while some other languages translated it to Cyborg).

You can see that next to the blue square with 人造人間, there's tiny hiragana (じんぞうにんげん; ji-n-zo-u-ni-n-ge-n); those are called furigana and are present to tell the reader how the kanji is read (and what it means haha). Most shonen manga have them because they're aimed at kids who don't know all of the kanji yet! Furigana are also important because kanji can be read in two different ways (the kanji for mountain is either read as yama or san for instance; it's got to do with the Chinese pronunciation or the word as well as whether the kanji is on its own or combined with another).

Same here: everything is in hiragana except for Gohan's name (with the little furigana to tell you to read it as go-ha-n) and Gohan's age of 4 (they use the romanji /latin for numbers instead of the proper kanji).

If you remember Death Note, there's a moment in which Misa reads Light's full name above his head, but she reads his first name's kanji (月) as "tsuki" and then she's told it's actually read "light" (ライト; ra-i-to; aka the katakana transcription for the English word light)

Now, remember that pin about romanji? And if you remember some old (oooold) fanfics where Vegeta's name is written Bejïta? Well, this comes from that. Japanese syllables don't allow to transcribe everything, and phonology makes it so that Japanese speakers tend to pronounce loan words according to their syllables.

Dragon Ball's katakana name is ドラゴンボール (do-ra-n-go- bo—ru, or Doragon Bōru in the proper transcription system (the — means "longer vowel" which transcribes to an ō). This is why you sometimes see Goku's name written Gokū or, in old books, Gokuh or Gokou, and his furigana is go-ku-u). And there's a lot of loan-words used as names in Dragon Ball. Vegeta's name are the katakana for BE JI (+ longer vowel) TA.

Of course, when you know "all Saiyans are named after Vegetables", you can easily transcribe "back" to the origin-word that it was supposed to represent (you don't go around and write doragon boru, you write dragon ball, after all). Some are easier than others, and Toriyama (with his dad!boomer energy who loves bad puns) also switched some syllables around... Hell, even Saiya-jin (saiyans) (with jin as the kanji for people/population) is actually rearranged syllables for Yasai (vegetables). With that knowledge, Raditz could be transcribed as Radis or Radish (depending on your language) and Kakarot could be carot (or cacarot).. To go back to the original reference instead of playing translating back and forth forever lol.

Same for Bulma. Her katakana name is bu-ru-ma which is the transcription for "bloomers" (aka those gym shorts). This is why in old doujins, you'll see her name be written as Bluma or Bloomer or any other option around that. Bulma's name is written with latin letters very early on though, so there's consensus about her name, but there are others...

So let's talk about ブラ(bu-ra), the second kid of Vegeta and Bulma.

Until DBS came around, it was generally accepted that her name is Bra (like Trunks' name is Trunks and not Torankusu or Tolanks.. even if some people will write torankusu and I find that hilarious), because everyone in Bulma's family is named after undergarments (Bloomers, Panties (Panchy), Brief (Dr Briefs in English, professor Brief elsewhere), Trunks... and Bra for brassiere or plain old bra).

But in DBS, the anime gave her the Bulma treatment and showed her name in latin letters (Bulla).

Now.. why does it look so weird sometimes?

Because Katakana (and Hiragana) are syllable systems, and as such, no consonant (except for N) exists on its own. All consonants must have a vowel attached to them! And when a foreign word is transcribed to katakana, this is how they (generally) do it:

Base on the pronunciation, not on the actual spelling of the word.

If there's a consonant sound alone, add u (except T and D, those get an o)

If the sound doesn't exist as-is in the syllables available, pick the next best thing (fa will be fu + tiny a to let people know how to read it FA and not FUA). The L and R sounds are grouped together into the transcription with R, but they're more or less pronounced the same (in the middle). If you need a harder R, refer to the next point.

Use "longer vowel before this symbol" (ー) and "harder consonant after this symbol" (ッtiny version) symbols as needed to emphasize stress syllables or. (ベジータ (bejita) カカロット (kakarotto)

Profit.

This is why sometimes you'll see "Furiza" and you'll be "wait what" and then pronounce it and say "ooo.. Freezer". Why does English write it as Frieza? idk. French does Freeza and Spanish Freezer (the name is not the exact transcription for Freezer, since they removed a —; it's フリーザ instead of フリーザー)

Here's a fun example:

ファイナルフラッシュ

Fu-(tiny a)-i-na-ru- fur-a- (harder consonant)shu;

Fainaru Furasshu.

You know those "U" are usually there because of how the syllables work. Let's remove them.

Fainar Frassh.

You also know those R letters aren't hard strong R, so pronounce them a little softer, without rolling them. Pronounce this out loud now.

Did the piano start playing???

As my scanner now works, I'll show you how older fandom people used to transcribe the katakana names in latin letters before there was an official "decision" about such things!

Please feel free to share, correct, expand, etc!

And you can always buy me a doujin to support my work haha

[allthepresidentsmen1976]

if anyone has any favourite films directed by women i'd really appreciate it if you sent them to me !!! was looking through my letterboxd and realised i've seen like 13 films directed by women this year, a bit pitiful given how many i've watched . so ! fixing that :^)

[1kook]

crunchyroll & rail

the 10th installment of my netflix & chill series !

SUMMARY Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. WARNINGS smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… MISC fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality, RATING m (18+) WC 8.7k

NOTE (!) the smut in this chapter is relatively short ! I was more concerned with writing this monumental step in their relationship, so sorry to all the lads who come here specifically for the p0rn but today we focus on the l0ve <333 anyway nc 10!!!!! Can u fuckin believe….

Jungkook mentions it at the dinner table one night. You’re not eating— well, you are not eating; Jungkook has been stocking up on his protein intake like a madman —but finishing up some work you had brought home. Your back aches, your eyes burn. The mere sound of his soft voice has all those feel-good endorphins shooting through your nervous system like a shot of adrenaline. “We should take a trip,” he says, fork clattering against his plate to signify the end of his feast. 

Your fingers tap across your keyboard, eyes flickering between an Excel sheet and the report you’re typing out. It takes you a moment to respond, a delayed, “huh,” that even Jungkook doesn’t find convincing.  

In the background, you’re listening to what has to be one of the worst voiceovers of the original Sailor Moon series in a language you don’t even understand. But you know the series like the back of your hand, know what exactly is happening even if you don’t understand what they’re saying, because you’ve watched it only about a million times. It’s mostly just there for background purposes anyway, some white noise to try and replicate the noisy soundtrack of your office. 

To make matters worse—complicated?—, you had been too lazy to get onto your usual pirating sites and had settled for the five minute, five part, 240p clips of Sailor Moon on YouTube (you know the ones), and Jungkook has to wait until Episode 74: Part ⅖ ends before you grace him with a proper response. “Where do you wanna go, baby?” you ask, giving your eyes a break from the data as you move to scour YouTube for Episode 74: Part 3/5. 

He’s stretching back now, arms wound up above his head. His hair— god, his hair —is an ashy color now, a faded version of its golden ancestor from a few months ago. Soon, he’s planning on going back to brown, claims he’s getting too old to be dying his hair, whatever that means. For now, you watch his inked fingers run through his scalp; he looks delectable. Maybe you’re hungrier than you initially thought. Or at least thirstier. “A cabin,” he suggests, and he offers this little half shrug that would otherwise seem normal had you not been well-versed in the art of Jungkook Body Language. His front teeth nibble at his lip, eyes laser focused on his empty plate. Even now, he still gets nervous asking you out. That thought alone makes your ego soar as high as an airplane. “Just something small.”

Usually, “something small” with Jungkook ends up being something big and, in most cases, something expensive. Which you’re totally not opposed to— you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t even bother trying to dissuade Jungkook from showering you with gifts. It’s one of his many, many, many, many forms of loving you and, well, he knows you like the back of his hand. He rarely misses. 

Lo and behold, it is a grander affair than a simple cabin. “Well, it’s more like a resort,” he confesses, reaching across the table for your hand. Immediately, his thumb finds itself rubbing over the simple band of your promise ring. “Just wanna do something nice for you. I know you’ve been tired lately,” he adds on, voice a quiet murmur that nearly gets lost under the intensity of the pout that appears whenever he becomes even the slightest bit bashful. 

You smile, the fondness in your heart skyrocketing to impossible heights when he lifts your hand to press those pretty petal lips against your knuckles. “Well, just let me know when,” you tell Jungkook. “So I can request time off from work.” 

Episode 74: Part 3/5 starts playing after an ad, and you’d pause it for the sake of preserving this moment with Jungkook, but it’s hidden under so many tabs on your laptop that you lose it the second you leave the tab. Jungkook’s head tilts to the side, sending his ashy locks cascading beautifully. “You know that show is on Crunchyroll,” Jungkook says, seemingly moving past his bout of shyness now. “And you have the password.” 

“Do I,” you murmur, but he’s lost you once more, your true talent of typing with one hand showing itself as you return to your Excel sheet, the other still firmly squeezed in his grasp. Jungkook releases soon enough anyway, cleans up the table quickly, and disappears off into the kitchen. He sings when he washes the dishes, likes to pretend he’s a terrible singer even though you’ve told him countless times he could easily take X Factor by storm. (And you know exactly what it takes to wow those judges— you spent the entire last month psychotically watching multiple X Factor seasons from multiple different countries, nearly considered joining the damn audition yourself.) The horribly dubbed Sailor Moon is yelling now, shrieking really, and Jungkook calls from the kitchen, “don’t forget to take your contacts out, sweetheart.” 

It’s domestic and it's nerve-wracking. 

You want Jungkook, that much is a fact. Aristotle and Socrates and that other guy could debate the philosophical intricacies of the world, turn this dimension in on itself until it was a scrambled mess of emotion and thought, but the one thing they could never change, could never even question, is your love for your boyfriend. You want Jungkook badly, but more importantly, you want Jungkook forever. 

And you’re sure Jungkook probably, maybe, hopefully feels that way too. But the way you feel is… slightly concerning to say the least. For starters, you’re convinced your love for Jungkook was meant to be, and that’s saying a lot coming from you. You’re not one for cheesy, soulmate tales— that was more Jungkook’s thing —but the more you think about it, the more you become convinced that you and Jungkook were destined to meet. Like the planets aligned one year, the stars conferred, a tectonic plate somewhere in California shifted; whatever it may have been, something happened somewhere that led to the birth of this beautiful romance of yours. 

Lately, being with Jungkook has this inexplicably fiery feeling blossoming in your chest, these waves of emotion that sometimes have you fantasizing about the weirdest of scenarios with him. Like yelling at him for not taking the garbage out on time, or bumping into each other as you make dinner in the kitchen, or buying a new rug together. 

(Most drastically, the other day, you had a dream where you were pregnant and Jungkook was there and there was a house and a dog and an annoyingly friendly neighbor and this god-awful tile in the bathroom.) 

Long story short, you’ve been fantasizing about a forever with Jungkook. The concerning part is the timing; was this too early? You’re nearly halfway through your second year with Jungkook now, and you know most people date for many, many years before the mere thought of union even occurs to them. In another life, maybe you were the same, would have held off until the very last moment. But with Jungkook things just feel right (at least for you), like there wasn’t going to be anyone else after him. And you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be. 

You slump back into your seat, eyes fluttering shut. Too many thoughts swirl around your mind, and the screech of the Sailor Moon voiceover on screen certainly doesn’t help. How you managed to spiral that far down your thoughts in the span of one 240p, five minute clip of a larger episode amazes even you. To add onto your worries, the clip abruptly ends and Episode 74: Part ⅘ is nowhere in sight, a fact that draws a frustrated moan out of the already sensitive you. 

Luckily, Jungkook eventually returns, standing closely behind you. His presence is enormous, the room suddenly overflowing with a shit ton of those feel-good endorphins all over again, except this time they reach an all-time high when he leans over and quietly shuts your laptop. “Come sleep,” he says softly, and it’s a pleasant mixture of his genuinely caring voice and that horndog purr of his that lures you into bed. And it’s that same voice that croons softly into your ear, fingers nestled between your folds until you’re orgasming yourself into a deep slumber. 

Much to no one’s surprise, the cabin turns out to be quite the luxurious lodging; two floors of dark oak everywhere you turn, a stunning stone fireplace in the bedroom, and a truly breathtaking view of the resort’s snowy hill (read: front row seats to watch all the snowboarders and skiers wipe out in the snow). Jungkook had splurged quite the pretty penny on it, so you make a point to clap it up for him when he first opens the door to your temporary home for the weekend. 

The main bedroom is beyond words. It’s got an attached balcony (that you doubt you’ll be using in this chilly weather), and a wooden canopy bed that makes you feel like a royal (that you will certainly be using). It’s separated into two areas, the bed space and a tiny entertainment area on the other side of the room. Perhaps the best thing about the room— and the cabin itself —is the huge, smart TV mounted above said stone fireplace and the fact it allows the phone mirroring option in lieu of not having any streaming sites. And as is with every and anything to do with televisions, Jungkook is the most excited of the two of you. “Baby, look,” he beams, pointing excitedly at whatever he’s got mirrored onto the television this time. Knowing him, it’s probably another documentary. 

You had the forethought to finish your work before the trip, spent two days in the office going absolutely ham on this month’s final reports until your department head promptly sent you home to finish the rest there. You had given yourself a fright upon entering the bathroom that night, the state of your under eyes so severe, you feared it was sufficient cause for a national emergency. Similarly, Jungkook had done the same with his work, cooped himself up in his study until he was free from the shackles of capitalism for the weekend. All this to say you’ve missed him these past few days. 

But even though you’re sorely malnourished in the affection department and craving a good kiss or two, you wouldn’t dare interrupt one of Jungkook’s little nerdy, tech-induced fanboy moments. They’re cute, in their own geeky way, providing some insight to a mellower side of your boyfriend who looks on with childlike wonder; Jungkook’s eyes always get so big when he talks about nerdy stuff. You get to work hanging up the silk shirt he packed for tomorrow night’s fancy dinner at the resort, listening to some British narrator’s detailed description of the functionally extinct Northern white rhinos living under 24-hour surveillance in Kenya.  

(Jungkook’s really into nature documentaries again, had spent a few nights sniffling as he watched that one Koko the gorilla film.) 

The original plan was to head to the nearest store and whip up something small to eat at the cabin. But Jungkook is a little tired from the long drive, slumps down into the couch in front of the now lit fireplace like a limbless blob as he tunes into his documentary. His nose is a little red from the outside chill. It’s so cute. He’s so cute. You love him so much, you fear you’ll accidentally squeeze his cheeks to death. It’s a thought that occurs more times than you’d like. 

According to the pamphlet on the nightstand, the resort has its own room-service to order from. Normally you would do that, but not this time; you had gotten into a bit of a squabble with the man at the front desk after he had tried to withhold Jungkook’s reservation for arriving two minutes past your check-in time, called each other all sorts of names before he backed down and gave you your room key. So you’re still a little salty, to say the least. Instead, you settle in for some pizza in front of the huge TV, calling up the nearest place to order some of Jungkook’s and your favorites. 

You plop down beside him, instinctively cuddling closer when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “So,” you start, flipping through the rest of the resort’s introductory pamphlet. There’s a loud roar on screen. In all honesty, you didn’t even know what Northern white rhinos sounded like until then, and you probably never would have if not for the man beside you. “What are you in the mood for tonight, sweet boy?” 

You’re not sure if it’s the fatigue or the overall relaxed vibes he’d been exuding since the moment you entered the cabin, but Jungkook is weirdly cooperative today. “Whatever you want,” he responds, head on your shoulder. He even places the remote in your hands, gives your enclosed fist a gentle tap as if he’s just handed you the secret to eternal youth. In other words, it’s a rare sight to behold. “This is your trip, pretty girl.” 

You appreciate the sentiment, but feel the need to clear the air, tucking your feet up onto the couch as you snuggle closer. “Our trip,” you clarify, and snatch the remote anyway before he changes his mind. 

Jungkook releases a quiet huff of laughter, head rolling back against the couch cushions to display his thick, juicy neck that definitely doesn’t awaken any vampiric tendencies in you. “We can even watch some anime if you want,” he murmurs, casually throwing an arm around your shoulders in a way that would have made any teenage girl in the early 2000s squeal with excitement. It’s one of those barely there touches, but the way he holds you makes you feel so safe and warm and loved. So loved and in love. “The ones on Crunchyroll, though.”

For the sake of preserving these good vibes (and your ears [and Jungkook’s sanity]), you navigate to the Crunchyroll app on your phone, quickly finding your latest obsession and mirroring it onto the big television before Jungkook can react. “Sailor Moon?” he asks with a tone that implies a feigned interest, mostly out of respect for you; he’s, sadly, still not the big dorky anime fan you had hoped to convert him into. 

“In the name of the moon, I’ll punish you,” you recite dutifully, snatching up the throw blanket on the end of the couch. It’s barely big enough to cover the both of you, has Jungkook’s outstretched legs and your booty subject to the chilly air. Who cares, Jungkook is a furnace anyway. 

He snorts. “Punish me,” he mumbles, as if he doesn’t believe it. His snarky comment wins him a playful pinch against his doughy cheek, not that he particularly defends himself against it anyway, eyes fluttering shut as you tug at the pale skin. 

“Don’t fuck with the moon, Jungkook,” you warn him, snuggling closely against his side as your favorite opening song begins filtering through the speakers of the television before you. It’s infinitely better than the 240p YouTube clips you had subjected yourself to the entire last week, the graphics scarily clear. 

“Right, of course,” Jungkook says, but a hint of amusement seems to curl around the sound anyway. Nevertheless, he lets it go, cuddles into your side as you pour your full focus into watching yet another group of ragtag teenagers with supernatural abilities kick some ass. 

You can tell Jungkook isn’t really into it, and you’re torn between just snuggling him into a well deserved nap or taping his eyelids open so he can become a fan of this show with you. 

The loving, caring, adoring side of you says Jungkook deserves the entire world and more (the more in question preferably being a fluffy blanket and a nap). He worked hard this week, just like you, and on top of that he was the one who planned this entire weekend getaway for the two of you to enjoy. You want him to rest up.

The obnoxiously in love girlfriend-slash-best friend in you says Jungkook is sorely missing out on one of the greatest shows on planet Earth and that naps are for the weak. 

Your jumbled thoughts are interrupted by a loud sound on the television, a yelp from Ms. Sailor Moon herself that has you jolting up in surprise. Jungkook welcomes you deeper into his embrace, chuckles at your little fright. “Scared?” he teases in that low voice that makes you feel like you’re going crazy, really. So crazy and irrational, and the only thing that stops you from bombarding him with an unexpected outpouring of love is that hard and sharp thing that pokes your side when you get too close to him. It’s not Jungkook, sadly, but something in the front pocket of his hoodie instead. 

And for some reason, part of your brain is stuck all of a sudden, rewinding the last two and a half years like a broken cassette tape that had the tape reel hastily stuffed back inside by a toddler. It’s choppy to say the least, and it certainly doesn’t help when Jungkook calls your name softly, tenderly. “__,” he murmurs. It’s a little weird; it’s not often he says your name, mostly referring to you with one of the many pet names from that part of his vocabulary that focuses exclusively on terms of endearment. Your heart skips a beat. 

Now, if anyone were to ask, it’s approximately around this time that you begin to spiral. The pink curve of his bottom lip is just too close, the mole on his nose too prominent. Paired with the obnoxious tittering of Usagi on screen, you can feel your thoughts begin to overlap, bumping into each other within the realm of your brain until all that comes out are the messiest of messy thoughts. 

They go like this: 

Most episodes of any anime run for approximately thirty minutes. Take out the commercial breaks, the opening and ending credits, and it becomes something closer to twenty. Twenty minutes per episode, filled with plot and gags and tears and whatever else necessary to make you feel something, anything really. 

“What’s in your pocket?” you ask tentatively. 

In contrast, it takes approximately two seconds for Jungkook’s lips to quirk up— first the right side, always the right side —and his eyes to crinkle. Two seconds for him to smile, a sweet expression that reminds you of Netflix and college and quiet laughter and tattoos and silly YouTube videos and cookies and cell phones and job applications and blond hair; two seconds to make you feel everything all at once. 

“There’s nothing,” he says, but his cheeks are pink, and it’s not from the cold anymore. His smile is so big it makes your own cheeks ache just looking at it. You can’t even hear the television anymore. Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. “It was supposed to be for tomorrow,” he admits, unwrapping his arm from around you. 

It’s a little funny, somehow, because his hands are covered in ink, in tiny doodles and intricate pieces of swirls and words that ooze this aura of strength and toughness. But they tremble when he opens it, as unsteady as a wispy dandelion on a windy day, fumbling with the box. And when you look closely, he’s been biting at the skin along his thumb again, that nervous habit you’ve been trying forever to help him overcome. 

Someone is saying something on screen, something important to the plot. The volume is loud, but not as loud as your heart. Not as loud as Jungkook’s quiet murmur when he speaks again. “Will you marry me?” he asks softly, looks at you with flushed cheeks and big eyes and his heart on his sleeve. 

The answer has always been the same, hasn’t changed since the first time he planted the seed in your mind. Still, it catches in your throat, nearly loses out to a surprised and emotional sob that you barely manage to bite down. You had just been speaking, had just been ready to deliver a whole spiel on the importance of him watching Sailor Moon with you. But when you try now, it’s raspy and dry, as if you haven’t used your voice in years. “I— yes,” you exhale, surprised by the lonely tear that trails down your cheek. You go to wipe it away, but Jungkook beats you with a gentle hand cupping your cheek. 

His smile is wobbly, patches of red blossoming across his face that eventually consume his entire appearance as he leans his forehead against yours. Only then do you realize he’s crying, and you laugh out of reflex. “You’re crying,” you say, and Jungkook snorts. 

“You cried first,” he sniffles, smiling. “You made me cry.” 

He looks like a wreck, but, like, a hot wreck. An engaged, hot wreck who’s eyes flicker back to the TV to remind you to pause your anime, always so considerate. You do, hastily smashing buttons on the remote before remembering it’s controlled by your phone, hands flying back and forth as your nerves actively work to retire themselves after Jungkook’s proposal. “Easy there,” he soothes, eventually catching your hand in his, drawing it up for a kiss against your knuckles. 

The ring fits perfectly, snuggly. Vaguely, a memory drifts through your thoughts of Jungkook and Doyeon on a rampant mission to reorganize your jewelry box a few months ago, but it disappears as quickly as it came. You’re taken by the ring, a simple band with a pretty diamond on top. It’s a good mixture of you and him; flashy yet mild. 

“You love me,” you marvel, a revelation you’ve had the honor of experiencing time and time again with Jungkook. Still, it never fails to render you speechless. He hums. 

“I do,” he says, taking your hand in his. “It’s the easiest thing for me. Like breathing, or existing. I think I was made to love you.” And normally, you’d be the first one to correct him. Jungkook was made for so much more, a fact he’s proven time and time again with his abilities and the sheer size of his heart. He was your golden boy, could do anything he set his mind to. Always amazing you, always making you fall in love all over again. 

But now, with the weight of his words sitting heavy in the air, you find yourself incapable of negating the fact, instead sniffling at the meaning. 

Pleased with your silence, Jungkook places another chaste kiss against your ring. “I love you, __,” he confesses, voice nearly a whisper. Your entire body feels as if it is doused in gasoline, lit aflame over and over again. Your heart threatens your rib cage, pounds away with the strength of a world renowned boxer. Jungkook’s hands curl around your wrists carefully. “I used to think we were like the moon and the sun,” he admits, “that you were my sun and I was your moon. In love but always separated by those thin veils of the sunrise and the sunset.” He pauses, nuzzling sweetly against your palm once more before gently guiding them down between the two of you. “But that really sucks— saying goodbye to you every night? I hate that, __. I hate watching you leave, I hate watching you run off in the mornings or halfway through the day, having to drive back and forth from your place to mine. I hate having to be away from you when all I wanna do is hold you. I— I want to be by your side,” he rambles, eyes nervously meeting yours. They’re still glassy, dark lashes framing his chocolate irises wonderfully. “Forever.” 

Your heartbeat stutters, the simple word looping itself in your mind like that night in his dining room all over again, all the fantasies of having a forever with Jungkook bubbling to the surface. Jungkook pushes on. “You are my sun,” he says softly, mostly to himself. “But… I don’t wanna be the moon anymore. Being the moon means, eventually, I’ll have to say goodbye. In the night or in the morning, it always comes to an end. And I don't want there to be an end with you,” he insists, clutching your hand tightly. “I wanna be another star, the closest one to you. The one who gets to be with you forever. I wanna be by you and shine with you and—“

“Explode into a gazillion little fragments of cosmic dust with me,” you offer, and Jungkook nods along eagerly, too amped up on his speech to bother scolding you for your playful comment. 

“Yes, I want to— to—“ The words catch in his throat. So much emotion from the man you once thought was the dictionary definition of calm and collected. “To—“ 

“Marry me,” you fill in, and Jungkook practically blows a fuse from how emotionally fired up he’s become, exclaiming a resolute, “yes!” that leaves you stupidly grinning back at him. 

His outburst leaves him with flushed cheeks. “I do,” he reiterates in a softer tone, averting his gaze from you as if embarrassed by his cheesy outpouring of emotion. Usually, it’s the other way around; you make all the corny declarations of love and Jungkook laughs along suavely. It feels nice to have the tables turned. 

There’s so much to say, but the words all fade away when Jungkook shyly looks at you again. You settle on tackling him back onto the couch cushions, taking his surprised little yelp in stride as you suffocate him in your embrace. “Save those words for the big day, superstar,” you giggle, peppering his red face with tiny kisses that make him scrunch up cutely. “I can’t wait to blow up into one huge supernova with you.” 

Beneath you, Jungkook groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs, voice muffled against your shoulder. Begrudgingly, his arms come up to envelope you, pulling you closer until the blanket scrunches up uncomfortably between you two. “That must’ve sounded so lame.” 

Leaning back so you’re not completely squishing him, you carefully push his silvery hair away from his forehead. “Don’t be,” you assure him, placing one chaste peck against his pouty lips. “I thought it was cute. I didn’t know you were into astrology.” 

A sigh. “Astronomy,” he corrects, “astrology has to do with zodiac signs and placements.” 

You run your thumbs over his cheeks, collecting any of the drying tears that paint his face. “Oh, like how you’re a Virgo and I’m a“— 

The TV remote you had lost somewhere along the way is suddenly rematerialized beneath your knee, sends the speakers blaring to life with a deafening screech that has both you and Jungkook leaping up like two frightened cats. “You always do this,” he laughs, that loud boyish sound that makes you feel like you’re sitting on a cloud. He watches you with a gentle smile as you hurriedly shut off the television, the remote haphazardly tossed somewhere behind you afterwards. You return to his embrace, wrap your arms around his waist and snuggle into his warmth. His heart thumps a steady rhythm beneath your ear. 

“You’re gonna be stuck with me forever,” you warn him, clutching at the fabric of his shirt like he’ll suddenly disintegrate before your eyes.

Above you, Jungkook hums, placing a kiss against the crown of your head. “I look forward to it,” he responds, pulling you impossibly closer, until you can feel the wrinkles in his shirt imprinting themselves against your cheek. He’s back to being that suave bastard again, and you find yourself wishing you had milked those big crocodile tears out of him for just a little bit longer. 

Fingers gently press against the muscles in your nape, push themselves in deeply until you can feel all the tension seeping out, turning you into a limbless blob over Jungkook. “Jeez,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut. “And you wanted to wait until tomorrow.”

He huffs out a laugh. “I just thought you’d rather get engaged at a fancy restaurant with a pretty dress,” he defends, and you can hear the grin on his face. “For the photos.”

“Fair point,” you concede, eventually pushing yourself up so you’re not entirely squishing your boyfriend beneath you. Jungkook is already looking at you when you lift your head, has got this funny double-chin from this angle that makes his normally sharp jawline disappear. You find yourself tapping a finger against his chin, on the chocolate chip mole that hides itself beneath his plump bottom lip. “If anything, just propose to me again tomorrow at the restaurant.”

It wins you an eye-roll. “I’m not gonna propose to you again tomorrow,” he laughs, doesn’t even push you away when you become annoying and start tapping your fingers against all his beauty marks like you’re playing Whack-a-Mole. 

“Booo,” you frown, but let it go soon enough, foregoing your little game to press your lips against his. “Then I better make this a night to remember,” you murmur, tilting your head to the side.

Your hands dip into his luscious locks, fingernails tracing thin lines along his scalp that are certain to send tingles down his spine. As predicted, Jungkook releases a quiet groan soon after, a sound that’s muffled against your own lips. He’s pliant tonight, but not in a way that would elude fatigue. Pliant in a way that suggests he wants you to take the reins tonight, exhaling softly against you as he parts his lips. 

“Let me take care of you,” you hum, the hand that had been mindlessly hovering along his cheek drifting down to caress the side of his neck. Jungkook nods, his irises swimming in lust. You smile at his silent compliance, give his throat a light squeeze that makes his breathing hitch in surprise. 

He’s always at his prettiest when he’s beneath you like this, limbs moving in slow motion as you guide him along. You can already feel the beginnings of his arousal stirring beneath the front of his sweats, his cock slowly making its presence known against your thigh. You press your lips against his once more, making sure to make it rougher than the first kiss. Your tongue is met with little resistance, slips past his lips and dips into the hot cave of his mouth where Jungkook releases another trembling breath. 

Two hands come up behind you, trail themselves over your back and down to your ass, where he gives the two globes a tight squeeze. It draws a whimper out of you, one that Jungkook greedily swallows up. His tongue rubs up along yours, the wet muscle daringly pushing back against yours. His rebelliousness is only quelled with another press of your fingertips around his throat.

“Slow down,” you tell him. The first roll of your hips against him is slow, cruel in that you cut the motion short just as Jungkook begins to push back. A bratty huff escapes him, swollen pink lips pushing out into that endearing pout you love so much. It makes you grin, releasing the grip around his throat to carefully brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes. 

It’s a gesture that works to soften Jungkook as well, the petulant look on his face melting away as you trail your pointer finger along his cheekbone. It’s replaced with a more tender one, dark lashes blinking up at you slowly. “Open,” you command upon reaching his mouth, finger pressing down against his pink lower lip. Jungkook obeys, opening his mouth until you can see his pink tongue and the dark abyss that leads down his throat. Your finger pushes itself in, and Jungkook certainly doesn’t try to resist. His lips suction around the digit fairly quickly, tight enough to keep you there but loose enough for you to slowly draw your finger in and out, each short plunge pressing down against his tongue. 

It’s a rather short affair, one that comes to an end when he accidentally bucks up against you, pressing his hardened member against your core. You retract your finger.  “Can you,” he tries, but his cheeks are stained red and he refuses to meet your gaze. “Just…” 

You intercept him with a chaste peck, maneuvering your legs until your knees are firmly pressed into the couch cushions beneath him, his thin waist trapped in between. When you sit up, you feel drunk on power and the way Jungkook looks up at you certainly doesn’t help. “Can I sit on your face?” 

He chokes. “I— sure, please,” he blurts out. His gaze follows you as you slip off of him, quickly discarding your pants and top on the floor. One pat against his thigh has him hurrying to shimmy out of his clothes, his sweatpants caught around his ankles. 

“You’re excited,” you laugh, stripping him of his bottoms when the frustration takes him over. 

Jungkook scoffs. “Well, yeah,” he mumbles, tugging his shirt off with one smooth motion. The ink around his bicep is as dark as ever, contrasts wonderfully against his warm face. “My fiancée is gonna sit on my face.”

The title makes you preen, quickly finding your place on his lap once more. With your clothing out of the way, Jungkook really does become a furnace. Every inch of his body is hot to the touch, soft too. “Fiancée,” you giggle, hands on his chest. They slide down, fingers playfully nudging his brown nipples. Jungkook flinches at the touch. “Gonna sit on my fiancé’s face,” you parrot back, delicately pinching one nipple between your fingers. A moan spills from his lips, his cock pushing against your thigh once more.

It’s the reminder you need, pushing back dutifully against him as you continue to toy with his chest. He’d look pretty with piercings, you find yourself thinking, watching on in fascination at the way his pert nipples stand at attention. Beneath you, Jungkook begins to grow desperate, his hands finding their place on your waist to encourage you to grind down against him once more. 

Jungkook swears up and down that he’s not particularly sensitive about having his nipples touched. But when you’ve got him like this, sinfully laid out before you, you can easily confirm that his claims are nothing but lies. He loves having his nipples touched, squirms beneath you impatiently with each playful tug and twist you bestow upon them. 

You duck down, pressing a kiss against his pectoral, just beside his nipple, and Jungkook’s entire body shivers. A few careful drags of your tongue against his warm skin only serve to string him along further, the prettiest whimper pulling itself from his lips when you finally envelope one of them in your mouth. “Wait,” he gasps, clawing at your clothing as if he both wants to push you off and push you closer. You grin, brandishing one mean nip at the sensitive nub. 

Eventually, your incessant need to play with Jungkook’s chest is fulfilled. “Lay back,” you instruct, watching as he shuffles down flat on the cushions, silver hair tumbling away from his eyes. He’s so red, eyes hazy. Your panties are discarded, joining the ever growing pile of clothes on the floor. 

Once upon a time, the idea of sitting on Jungkook’s face had terrified you, filled you with nightmares of crushing his windpipe or breaking his nose. For the most part, they’re pretty unrealistic fears, ones that can be easily shut down after one careful Google search on safe sexual practices. These days, it’s all too easy; in the mornings, especially, it’s become natural for him to guide you on top carefully, holding your hand as you whimper and sob over his face. 

In the current moment, you find yourself stroking a hand down the side of his face, completely enamored with the huge puppy eyes he levels your way. Jungkook likes having your pussy in his face just as much as you do, loves making you feel good in any way he knows how. But there’s a separate matter at hand, one that stands at attention beneath his black boxers and successfully wins your attention. 

Truthfully, there is no dilemma to ponder over; you want both to ride Jungkook’s face and suck him off. The solution?

“We’ve never done this before,” Jungkook mumbles in amazement, his voice slightly muffled from his position beneath you and slightly behind you. Still, his arms dutifully wrap around your thighs, guiding you closer to his mouth where his hot breath fans against your glistening folds. You rock back willingly, hands preoccupied with pushing his boxers down and away from his engorged cock. 

“Really?” you ask, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the cock before you and the tongue that gently laps at your folds. Jungkook makes a sound, something between a hum and whimper, his mouth slowly getting to work against your folds. “M- Maybe,” you stutter, all thought processes coming to a halt as you carefully take him in your hand. 

His cock is hard and long, his tip an angry shade that weeps with precum. From this angle, you get to watch Jungkook’s huge thighs twitch at the sensation, the tattoo that marks up one of them doing little to hide the fact. Your hand squeezes him, watches in awe as another fat droplet oozes out of his tip. A moan tears itself from his throat, and it’s so goddamn sexy it nearly drives you insane. 

It’s one particularly long lap of his tongue over your clit that sends you into action, back arching at the tingles that shoot down your spine. Wasting no more time, you guide Jungkook’s cock into your mouth, let your own tongue shower his mushroom tip in kitten licks that have him bucking upwards. He releases your clit with a lewd pop, hot breath fanning across your lips. “Fuck,” he gasps, voice harsh. 

Admittedly, it’s more difficult than you thought it would be. 

You’re not one to be easily overwhelmed (says you), but with Jungkook’s twitching cock in your mouth and his teasing tongue dipping into your entrance, it becomes hard to juggle your attention between the two. Even Jungkook, who is quite frankly the master of cunnilingus, seems torn between the two, his breathing shallow and quick against your folds. 

With each slow descent around his cock, he shudders, thigh muscles tightening in anticipation. It causes a lull in the pace of his tongue, the generous kisses and licks against your folds subject to a somewhat uneven pace that, surprisingly, leaves you more on edge than you’d ever expected it to; right when you think he’s about to suck your clit into his mouth, you’re met with a harsh exhale instead, one that makes your lips flutter. 

You’re both disappointed in yourselves for never having tried this mind-blowing position before, and equal parts understanding as to why you haven’t tried this position before— it’s a lot. His cock is halfway down your throat when it twitches, sends a gush of precum into your mouth that has your eyes rolling backwards, a whine slipping out around him. Jungkook appreciates the vibrations, letting it fuel him as he plunges his tongue into your hole. It’s a two way street, you realize, one that is constantly experiencing traffic. 

“Baby,” you gasp, pulling off of his cock with a slick sound, hypnotized by the trail of saliva that connects your lips to his tip. Jungkook’s tongue prods along your slit, makes your eyesight go blurry when the tip of his nose brushes along you as well. The idea of his cute nose buried deep someplace it shouldn’t be has you grinding down on him. “We can— we should stop,” you stutter, your trembling hand reaching forward to grasp the base of his cock. 

He’s slick with your saliva and his precum, and your hand makes a squelching sound upon contact. It must feel good, because Jungkook moans against your folds, his thighs unconsciously falling farther apart as you slowly jerk him off. You think you might’ve heard your name slip from his lips, but your mind is fuzzy, lost in your lust as Jungkook licks a sinful line from your hole to your clit, curling his tongue at the end. “J- Jungkook,” you cry, flinching away because it’s become too much, your toes curling as the beginnings of an orgasm threaten you. 

Before that can happen, he relents, leaning back with a heavy exhale, his hands loosening their grip against your ass and plopping back down against the cushions. “Fuck,” he pants, his cock twitching in your hold. A lonely droplet of precum trails down the side, your knuckles coated in the glossy substance. Beneath you, Jungkook rubs one soothing palm against your hip. 

You slink off before he can get any funny ideas, maneuver yourself around until you’re kneeling between his parted thighs, his fat cock standing at attention between the two of you. From here, he looks ravenous, and you begin to question who exactly is taking care of who. Jungkook looks like he’s a second away from pinning you down and swallowing you whole, a thought that makes your toes curl. 

It’s with a cautiously horny hand that you reach for his cock again, holding him with both hands. Jungkook growls, head lolling backwards until all you can see is his neck and his chin, thick veins protruding along his skin. Jungkook doesn’t waste a moment longer. “C’mere,” he purrs, hauling you up until you’re clumsily leaning over him, palms framing his face. A lone finger runs down your spine, its faint touch making you arch forward. “Sorry,” he says, securing an arm around your waist. “I know you wanted to take care of me, but…”

You roll your eyes, submitting yourself to his clutches as he masterfully rolls the two of you over. The couch is soft beneath your back, and Jungkook looks pretty from above too. “You just can’t sit still, can you?” you murmur playfully. 

Jungkook’s forearms find their place beneath your thighs, the fold of the back of your knee perfectly slotted against his warm skin as he shuffles closer. “Maybe another time,” he laughs along sheepishly, his hard cock gliding over your slit, teasing your clit. You gulp, eyes scanning over his lean build as if it’s the first time. “Sorry,” he repeats, but he’s got this stupidly dopey grin on his face as he glances down at your pussy; he’s insane, he’s got to be, what man makes heart eyes at a pussy?

Your man, apparently. Grasping the base of his cock, Jungkook takes care to drag it along your folds collecting your wetness along his length, a deep shudder wracking his body through it all. “I knew you would do this to me,” he mutters, so low you nearly miss it under the thundering sound of your heartbeat.

“Huh,” you mumble, and you’d like to defend yourself and say you weren’t as cock-crazy as Jungkook was coochie-crazy, but that would be a lie. You’re staring at his cock as if it holds the secrets to the universe right now.

Jungkook juts his head to the side, a motion similar to the one he does when he’s trying to crack his neck. His tongue prods along his cheek, eyes laser-focused on the point where your two bodies meet. “From the moment you walked into my house,” he grunts mindlessly, finally lining himself up with your entrance. He chances a glance up, meets your gaze with a patient look, “all good?”

“All good,” you hurriedly reply, fingers finding their place against his broad shoulders. With the way he had prepared you earlier, mouthed along your clit and your folds until you were pleasantly aroused, the glide now is too easy. Tight, but easy, has the two of you releasing twin moans that echo off the wooden walls of the cabin. 

Jungkook’s forehead is covered in a thin veil of sweat, one that glistens when the evening sunset pours in through the balcony doors, highlighting him in a golden light that makes you dizzy. The angry tip of his cock sinks into your walls, Jungkook’s ashy strands sticking to his forehead and his cheeks. For some reason, you find yourself reminiscing on the aforementioned moment Jungkook had spoken of. Of the soft sweater he’d worn that day and the dinner he had made, the blond tips on his chestnut hair and the way he’d clung onto every word you’d said. 

It makes you tear up, and, after laughing at Jungkook early for crying, you quickly turn your face away. 

Jungkook isn’t dumb. “What now,” he chuckles, though his breathing is labored, every inch of his cock that penetrates you further bringing with it another rush of adrenaline. At the hilt, you’re embarrassed to say there’s multiple tears streaming down your face, so you can’t even play it off as you usually do. “Crybaby,” Jungkook teases, but his voice is so soft and tender you don’t know what to do with yourself. 

“Just move,” you bite out, shamefully covering your face with your hands. Jungkook leans over you, the movement pushing his dick deeper inside of you, your walls clenching around him. A kiss is placed over your knuckles, just shy of your engagement ring. Your chest lurches with a silent sob. “Jungkook,” you whimper, sinking further into the cushion, “please, just—“

“I got it,” he assures you, placing one final peck against your handmade (literally) shield. And then, so quietly you almost miss it, he makes sure to whisper, “love you,” before unsheathing himself. 

You shudder, your heart feeling so full, you fear it’ll burst. You both love and hate when he treats you like this, like an ice sculpture in the scorching heat that has him doing everything he can to keep you solid. His touch is soft, the roll of his hips too slow for your liking. You feel so small and vulnerable— too pampered. “Harder,” you beg, your voice an airy whine that has Jungkook chuckling above you. 

He lives to please you, hiking your leg over his shoulder with a renewed vigor. His hands find themselves on your waist, forcefully pinning you down against the couch cushions as he sets upon fulfilling your latest request. The next series of thrusts are jerky, have you jostling in his grip as Jungkook pounds into you with an all new mindset. “Lemme see you,” he huffs, thumbs painfully digging into your skin. You tremble in his arms, heart swayed by the quiet plea in his voice. “Let me see your face, pretty girl.”

Reluctantly, you do, brandishing your tear-stricken face his way. Jungkook smiles, that stupidly handsome smile, his hips snapping into you roughly. “Fuck,” he moans, the expression never leaving his face, even when run your nails over his chest harshly. “You’re so pretty.”

You ignore him for the sake of your already weakened mental state, focusing instead on the brutal force of his hips, the way his cock stretches your walls out. Each push has you seeing stars, thighs quivering from the sensations that shoot up your spine and down your toes. “Oh,” you mewl, hands gripping his biceps as you lose yourself to him. Your eyes roll back, vision a mess of colors and nothingness all at once. 

“Is this hard enough?” Jungkook husks out, and he sounds so close. His proximity is confirmed when his mouth slots against yours, his harsh breath mingling with your own as he continues to frantically buck into your inviting heat, each new round of thrusts leaving you weaker and weaker than before. “God,” Jungkook cries, the sound nearly lost beneath your own moans and whimpers. “Gonna k- keep you forever,” he spits, tongue slipping into your mouth.

He’s messier than usual, moves with unrefined movements unlike his normal self. You don’t care, you love him all the same. His sloppy kisses turn into desperate ones, matching the pace of his hips. “Kook,” you sob, arms wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him close until his thrusts are reduced to a shallower depth. 

“I’ve got you,” he croons, lips against your jawline. His cock presses in and you swear you feel it alongside every inch of your walls, a warmth blossoming in your stomach. He’s layering messy kisses down your face now, lips sucking dark marks any chance he gets. 

True to his word, Jungkook indeed has you. His cock pistons in and out at an astonishing pace, each surge into your folds making you dizzy over and over again. It’s a feeling you fear you’ll never grow tired of, in fact, it’s a feeling you fear you’ll begin to crave even more in the future. The good thing is, that future will extend into forever. 

You yank him towards you, swallow his low laughter with your lips. Jungkook doesn’t complain, lowering himself until he’s practically squishing you beneath his beefy body, cock ramming in and out despite all that. His tongue glides along yours, makes it his mission to muffle each of your cries. 

It doesn’t take long for you to be fulfilled. Given the fact you had sucked him off like a lollipop whilst having him eat you out, you’re not entirely surprised. That and the emotions of tonight have you melting into him sooner than you’d like, his name falling from your lips as your thighs clamp down around his waist. Jungkook takes it in stride, slows the maddening pace of his hips to cradle you in his arms. You’re like jelly, practically flop back into the cushion when he slips an arm beneath you. “You’re so good for me,” Jungkook praises, lavishing your throat in tiny pecks as his orgasm circles around. “My pretty girl.”

“Love you,” you sigh, and your body feels numb, his intrusion but a small touch now that he’s tired you out once more, your walls tender and raw. Jungkook presses a smile against your throat and, moments later, releases inside of you. 

Even minutes after the deed, the feeling refuses to return to your legs. He didn’t go that hard— well, you’re not entirely sure. The memories always become blurry toward the end of your escapades. Everything rushes back in waves, and for some reason, your first thought is, “where’s Sailor Moon?”

Your post-rump conversations have never been the most coherent, usually filled with pretty weird thoughts and ideas. Still, more grand things have happened tonight for you to be worried about a magical anime girl. Jungkook draws himself out of your core with a huff of laughter. “On the TV,” he answers, unfazed by the oddity of your question. 

That’s how you know he’s a keeper.

It takes a while, but eventually Jungkook responds. “Avocado toast,” he says, though his answer is dripping with uncertainty. He’s naked as the day he was born, snuggled up beside you in bed. He’s propped up on one arm, looking down at you over the ample swell of his manly bosom. It takes everything in you to keep your hands off his chest. 

“Correct,” you respond, “and what movie did we watch?”

Without missing a beat, “Transformers, the first one.”

You nod, glancing at the ceiling as you rack your brain for any other trivia questions to ask your fiancé. “The title of the playlist you made?”

A flush paints his cheeks. “Date Night playlist,” he answers through a pout, reprimanding you for bringing up such a memory with a flick to your forehead. You wince. “I was young and silly,” he defends.

You beam, cuddling into his side until he’s forced to lay back down. “Yeah, yeah,” you tease. “We’re only gonna get older from here,” you lament. You’d say it’s difficult to picture him with a gray head of hair, but his current silvery locks don’t leave much room for your imagination.

Jungkook pulls you close. A beat of silence passes, and then, “so who are we telling first?”

Definitely Namjoon.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[wlwmarvelenthusiast]

Can u write an au where carol’s cat (goose) keeps sneaking into fem!reader’s apartment and so carol and reader communicate with each other thru notes they put on goose’s collar and they eventually fall in love (((:::::::

Goose's Best Friend

Summary: After a stranger's cat injured in your apartment one night, you decide to attach a short note to its collar to give your apologies. They lead to something you could have never expected.

Pairing: Army Pilot!Carol Danvers x Reader

Warnings: language

Word Count: 2,792

It was the middle of the night, 2:57a.m., to be exact, when a loud crash shook you from the clutches of sleep. You sat up with a groan, rubbing your eyes to clear your vision enough to look at the clock on your nightstand. You swung your legs off the bed, eyes catching the shattered lamp on the ground. Fighting off the temptation to leave it on the ground for tomorrow, for fear that you might forget about it and slam your bare feet into the shards scattered around the floor, you slid your legs into some sweats and stood up.

You weren’t expecting, when you turned on the light, for something to move. When something darted around the corner you actually let out a high-pitched yelp, flying backwards and hitting your elbow hard off the corner of the nightstand. You felt tingling rush into the tips of your fingers as you tried desperately to comprehend what had just happened. Your breathing had already increased, and your heart was racing inside your chest. You took a hesitant step forward.

Despite being alone in the apartment, you flushed beet red in embarrassment when you found the creature you’d been so terrified of. The orange tabby cat stared up at you with wide eyes, letting out a quiet mew. Immediately your heart softened, its beat slowing down to a normal pace. When the cat made to step toward you, though, you immediately noticed the limp. Your eyebrows furrowed and you knelt down, letting it come to you. You reached out for its front leg, and it let you take it into your hand.

“Oh, sweet baby,” you muttered softly, wiping a bit of blood out of its fur with your thumb. “Come on. I think I have a first aid kit in the bathroom.”

It surely didn’t understand what you said, but it followed you when you stood up. It limped into the bathroom behind you, settling once it reached the tile floor. You reached into the cupboard under the sink and pulled out the red case, propping it up on the countertop and opening it up. Quickly, you located the roll of bandages and the scissors that came with it. You pulled it out and got some wet paper towels. Once more you knelt down on the ground next to the tabby.

A black collar around its neck caught your attention. You reached out for the silver tag that hung from it and spoke aloud. “Goose. Well, Goose, there’s no phone number here for your owner. Guess I’ll have to fix you up and trust you can find your own way home, huh?”

He meowed in response.

You continued to wrap up his leg. When you finally finished, you tucked the first aid kit away again. You clicked your tongue a couple times in an attempt to get him to follow you again. The both of you headed toward the kitchen, where you rummaged through the fridge for the leftover chicken from dinner the night before last. You pulled some out and set it in a small dish on the floor, a sort of apology for your lamp having done such damage to the poor animal’s leg. He helped himself quickly. Meanwhile, you dug through one of your drawers.

You popped the cap off a pen and cut a small strip of paper, struggling to keep your writing small enough to fit.

There was no number on the collar, so I opted for this. Goose found his way into my apartment and had an unfortunate mishap. I patched him up and gave him a treat. I hope that’s okay. He should be alright.

Hope he feels better soon.

You rolled the note around the tabby’s collar and taped it in place. He’d finished his treat by now, so you led him back to the apartment door. When you opened it, he cast one glance back at you, eyes shining as if in gratitude, then scurried down the hall. Just as he turned out of sight, though, someone else moved into your peripheral vision. You could have scoffed when you saw who had wandered into the hallway. She spoke before you could close the door.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“Fuck off, Danvers.”

“Captain Danvers,” she hummed, a wide smirk on her face as she twirled her keys around her finger.

“In your dreams,” you scoffed. “And next time you’re using your stripes to get random women in bed, be a little quieter, would you? Some of us around here have self-respect.”

You closed the door before she could respond to that.

You and Carol Danvers had hated each other for as long as you’d lived there. The two of you were like hot and cold, or night and day. She liked loud music and late nights whereas you liked a nice book and an early night. You were quiet and soft-spoken, and Carol was a bully. In fact, she was your bully. You’d never endured such teasing and taunting from anyone else before. It wasn’t her harsh words that got to you, though. In fact, you weren’t entirely sure what it was that got to you. Maybe it was her arrogance, or maybe it was her ignorance for anyone around her. It didn’t matter.

Carol Danvers brought out a side of yourself that you didn’t know existed. You’d only have to hear a single word fall from her lips or see a glimpse of her from the corner of your eye, and instantly any semblance of a good mood would dissipate and fade into annoyance. The hatred you held for her made your blood boil in your veins at the mere sight of her stupid, cocky smirk. You sometimes wished you could just reach out and slap that stupid smirk off her stupid face.

You pushed the blonde from your mind, heading back to bed. Hopefully, the coming day would be one that didn’t involve the blonde captain.

*

It was three days later that a quiet meow caught your attention. It tore your gaze from the TV, and you glanced toward the source of the sound. The face that was watching you immediately brought a smile to your face. You pat the couch beside you and the tabby jumped up, settling onto the blanket. You ran your hand across his head, watching his eyes close in content. You were about to turn your gaze back to the TV when you noticed the paper around his collar. It wasn’t the same one you put there. You reached out for it and removed it, careful not to rip it, and unrolled it. You flicked on the lamp.

Sorry about him. He wanders around the building. This isn’t the first time he’s gotten into someone’s room. If you fed him, he’ll probably come back to you (which I don’t mind, so long as you don’t mind that he’ll keep coming back). That’s how I know you’ll get this. So, thank you for patching him up. The vet would’ve cost more. You were right. He was just fine.

Rolled up with it was a twenty-dollar bill. You chuckled, immediately standing up off the couch. You pulled a small treat out of the fridge as you passed it, Goose trotting into the kitchen at the sight. You handed it to him and he took it happily, chowing down as you stood up straight again and continuing on your journey toward the notepad on the counter. Once again you ripped a small piece of paper out of it, ripping the cap of the pen off with your teeth and holding it there as you brought the pen down to meet the paper.

It seems so. You were right. He came back. He’s a sweet boy. I truly enjoy his visits. I don’t get many of them, so he’s welcome here whenever he pleases. And I don’t need this. Keep it.

You knelt down on the ground to Goose once again. He sat still for you as you wrapped the bill around his collar, wrapped the note around it, and then taped them both in place. Once more, you led him back to the apartment door, opened it up for him, and let him into the hallway. He rubbed his head against your calf once more before dashing out of sight. You shut the door behind him.

*

You huffed as you stormed into the lobby of the apartment building. Work had not treated you well that day. All you wanted was to head upstairs, put on your coziest pyjamas, order takeout, cuddle into the couch, and watch a movie or two. It was all you needed to wash away the horrible day and ease the stress that was weighing so heavily on your chest. You only wanted to pick up your mail before you did, but apparently, the universe had other ideas.

“Looking for some mail from your mommy?��

Danvers was the last person you wanted to deal with today. You didn't even bother to grumble a response to your neighbour, who was still in uniform as she stepped up beside you and unlocked her own mailbox. You were going to step away without a single word, but once more, you didn’t get your wish. Carol snickered at something, making you slam your box shut with far more force than necessary.

“What, pray tell, is so fucking funny?” You snapped.

“Oh, nothing. Nothing. Nice keychain.”

The keychain was a souvenir one you’d gotten from your trip to Disney with your family a few years ago. It was a picture of you and your brothers all wearing Mickey Mouse ears and sticking your tongues out at the camera. If anyone else had said the words, you would have blushed and thanked them. When Carol said the words, you shoved the keys in your pocket and shot a glare so harsh that it would have killed if it could have.

“You’re a dick, Danvers.”

“Captain Danvers,” she corrected once more.

“Look, this whole army pilot thing might work on those girls you pick up from god knows where, but I’ve met you,” you sneered. “You use this uniform for detestable things, Danvers. It’s disgusting.”

You stormed away.

When you unlocked your door and stepped into your apartment, however, you found that you wouldn’t need pyjamas or takeout or movies to make you feel better. Your new best friend was sitting on your couch as if he had been waiting for you to arrive home. You dropped your bag at the door and moved to sit with him immediately. After stroking his head absentmindedly for a bit, you noticed the new note.

Take it. Please? Come on, you’re going to make Goose sad if you don’t. You’re going to make me sad if you don’t.

Attached with the note, again, was that same twenty-dollar bill. You rolled your eyes as you moved into the kitchen once more, handing Goose a few of the cat treats you’d bought for him. He accepted them happily as, for the third time, you prepared to write a note for Goose’s mystery owner. You didn’t even bother to sit down, hunching over the counter in a way that your back probably wouldn’t have thanked you for. You scribbled on the paper.

I’m sure Goose won’t mind at all. As for you? Well, I don’t really know you, do I? Just keep the damn money, will you? You know, Goose is going to gain a few pounds if you keep sending him back here.

Sincerely, Goose’s new best friend

After a few pats to the head, you sent Goose off with that. He was back later that day.

Goose’s best friend,

Goose does mind. He wants you to keep it. Please? Besides, if we keep attaching it with scotch tape to a wandering cat, it’s going to get lost. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you? I sure wouldn’t. As for the treats, I’ll make sure to walk him a bit more. Wouldn’t want to lose my new favourite pen pal over a couple extra pounds on the cat.

- Goose’s mom

This time, there were two twenties attached. You chuckled at that. Goose was gobbling down his treat as you wrote.

Goose’s mom,

I think that’d be quite a sight to see, you walking Goose down the street. Guess if I ever see Goose leashed and with some random woman on the street, I’ll know what you look like.

- Goose’s best friend

P.S. Just donate the money. Seriously.

As if it were habit by now, you reattached the bills, added your note, and sent the tabby out the door once again. You headed back to what you’d been doing.

It wasn’t long before the next reply.

Goose’s best friend,

Here, I’ll help you build the image. I’m 23, blonde, and about 5’6”. I’m in the army, so I’d probably still be in uniform after work. Oh, and Goose’s leash is blue, and he has a grey harness for walking.

- Goose’s mom

P.S. I split the $40 between the humane society and the local shelter

You once more had to laugh at the stranger. Of course, you immediately moved to respond. As much as you didn’t want to kick Goose out, you wanted her to get your answer as soon as possible. You grabbed your notepad.

Goose’s mom,

You sound cute.

- Goose’s mom’s best friend

It was a short note this time. You were having fun, though, and you wanted to tease your new friend a little. You attached the note to Goose and let him run off.

Once more, Goose returned with a new reply.

Best friend,

You didn’t give me anything in response. I’m offended.

- Goose’s mom’s best friend’s best friend

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she’d signed her newest note. A pang of confidence hit your chest. You scribbled on the note.

Goose’s cute mom,

Let’s go for coffee then. 2B. I’m free when you are.

- Girl with a crush

*

You regretted sending that last note. You’d never gone more than 12 hours without communicating with the mystery note sender. You’d grown quite fond of the little pieces of communication you’d exchanged with her. It was actually the highlight of your day, on most days. Since sending that last one, though, you’d yet to hear back from her. It’d been four days now. You were quite upset about it, and decided the best way to fix that was some loud music. Maybe it’d piss Danvers off as much as she pissed you off.

When there was a loud knock on the door, you immediately assumed that you’d sure pissed someone off. Of course, they’d complain about you and not her. Everyone loved Carol fucking Danvers. You wished you could whirl the door open and shout at whoever was on the other side, but knew yourself better than that. You’d probably open it up and apologize, then turn the volume down and wallow in your misery to the sound of softer music.

That is, if it were anyone but Danvers.

“What? Just now realizing how damn annoying it is to hear loud music blaring from the apartment directly below yours?” You rolled your eyes. “Fuck off, Danvers.”

You went to slam the door, but she stuck her hand in. It must’ve been a little harsher than you meant to, because she shook her fingers out when she retracted them. You didn’t apologize, because you didn’t even feel bad. She deserved it after giving you two years of hell having to live in the apartment below her. You’d not have been surprised if one day she invited an elephant into her room just so she could make as much noise in your apartment as possible.

As you were about to make another snarky remark, though, you noticed something. That cocky glint that was usually shining in her brown eyes was missing. She wasn’t even meeting your eyes. Her gaze was cast to the door beside your head, locked to the bronze numbers that were screwed into it. You raised a single eyebrow, waving your hand in front of her face to get her attention. She blinked as if coming out of a trace, looking back to you.

“What do you want, Danvers?” You snapped when she wouldn’t speak.

She didn’t answer. She only held out a small piece of paper. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, but took it from her. The handwriting was one you’d seen so many times.

Goose’s best friend,

Coffee it is. But I’m paying. I still owe you.

- A girl who also has a crush, Carol Danvers

[xpeachesncream]

lowkey (jjk) | 02.

⦿ boo’d up in the daytime

⦿ mackin’ & hangin’ in the nighttime

↳ series masterlist

summary: in order to pass organic chemistry and pay off your car damages from an accident, all you have to do is help the nerd, jeon jungkook, with a few things: pretend to be his girlfriend and teach him the ways of dating.

pairing: popular!reader x nerd!jjk

genre: college au, fake dating au, friends (with benefits?) to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.2k

warnings: cussing, implied sexual content/mature language, kissy-kissy koo, mentions of a boner, mention of sex and cum, seokjin’s still toxic

note: posting this chapter a little early since it’s butter weekend, plus the last part of liquid courage should be up sat/sun. still sticking to my schedule in my faq though, srry loves! i’ll do my best to update as soon as i can. 💗

tags: @taegularities​ @jimidol​ @miinoongi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ @thebeebi​ @preciouschimine​ @ladyartemesia​ @moonchild1​ @jikookiekosmos​ @marcoazz2​ @kootaes​ @wearenot7withu​ @codeinebelle​ @bigbootyjoonie​ @thisartemisnevermisses​ @maichiverse​ @ppeachyttae​ @fairysunooo​ @secretlycrazyhummingbird​ @yukiehyukie​

"I heard you were in an accident last night, babe. Are you okay? I'm so sorry I got mad at you yesterday." Seokjin comes towards you, cupping your face to look at every inch, every detail. You move away from his hold, backing up to give yourself some space.

"Seokjin, I told you to stop calling me that. Jesus. I'm fine. Don't need you to check up on me."

"Are you really gonna keep that up? I said I was sorry."

"Okay, and? I heard you."

"Really, that's it? Y/N, why are you being like this? What's the real reason?" He follows after you as you make your way to the library. To say Seokjin was persistent is an understatement— he was persistent for the wrong reasons. Like, keeping you close so he had you to fall on when things went wrong with another chick, his safety net.

"Because this is done, I don't know how many times I have to tell you. I'm tired of you doing this so, please. Just go." You slightly turn towards him as you climb up the stairs.

"I wanna work this out with you. Don't push me away. Let me help." You don't respond. He watches as you adjust your bag strap and wave at Jungkook. Seokjin chuckles and grabs your wrist gently, making Jungkook suddenly hop on defense as he balls his fists. Like he could do shit. Seokjin would probably wreck his ass with those broad shoulders.

Still. He hated how much of an asshole he was to you.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Seokjin laughs his rare, deep laugh that he uses when he's caught off guard. "You're hanging out with nerds, now?"

"And if I was, that would be none of your business." You snatch your arm away while glaring at him. You shake your head and continue walking towards Jungkook, relieved Seokjin finally left you alone today. Probably off to tell Namjoon, Yoongi and his friends how much of a bitch you've been and that you actually left him to hang out with a nerd.

Sunmi knows you're being tutored. However if that wasn't the case, she would question you, but she never take their side on shit. She remained loyal to you, and always supported you through whatever. That's why she's remained your bestfriend until this day. The senior chicks Seokjin and them hung around with though? Questionable. As long as Sunmi was by your side and you by hers, you both didn't care much for getting close to them.

"Hey, sorry you had to see that." You say as you sigh and set your bag down alongside of you on the long table.

"It's alright." Jungkook replies softly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. Thanks." You give him a tiny, tightlipped smile. "So, should we get right into tutoring, or should we talk about the details of our deal? I have all afternoon." Luckily, it was quite loud in the loud section of the library. No one cared much to listen in to your secret deal with Jungkook, nor did anyone care because it was Jungkook.

"I do too. I guess, whatever works for you?"

"Let's get this tutoring over with first then iron out the rest." He nods.

"Sure." He pulls out his notebook. "Tell me, what are you struggling with?"

"Everything." He does a small head tilt.

"I doubt that. I'm sure you understand some things."

"No, you don't understand Jungkook. I'm legit drowning. I don't know what I'm doing wrong or where I'm lacking." Jungkook simply looks at you, lips pressed together before he nods. You're not lacking anywhere, he thinks. You're really not. The subject is just shitty and the spawn of the devil.

"That's okay. Well, can I go over some basics? Throw in some tips?"

"Yes, please. Lead the way. I need you." You chuckled, but it makes the heat rush to his cheeks. He hopes you don't catch the rosy tint creeping up on them, so he instantly grabs at the whiteboard near your table and starts to go over the very beginning, the very basics of this semester's OChem class. Maybe a bit from last semester, but last semester wasn't entirely that bad compared to this one.

He didn't expect you to be all that engaged for some reason, but he should have known you'd ask questions left and right, taking the black whiteboard marker from his hand to practice what you've learned with him watching and guiding you from your side. You were always focused, always so determined. You were incredibly smart. Incredibly beautiful.

Honestly, Jungkook go on for days.

The both of you hadn't realized it was nearing close to 5PM and neither of you had really eaten much since lunch. You sit, feeling pretty good about your first session with Jungkook. You feel a little bad having kept him for so long over OChem, realizing you still had things to iron out with him.

[sunmi] 4:34pm: hey babe, not gonna be leaving for a bit. i forgot i had to work on this psych project with jennie. you okay with leaving around 6/7?

"Crap."

"What's the matter?" Jungkook glances at you as you continue to stare at your phone and scroll away.

"Sunmi isn't leaving until later. I'll probably be stuck here for a little longer after you leave." You put your phone down, now resting your chin against your palm, nails slightly digging into your cheek.

"I-I can give you a ride, if you'd like? Plus, we still need to talk.. about stuff." He shyly says.

"Jungkook, that's too much to ask for."

"It's really not a big deal. How far do you live from campus?"

"Maybe a 10 minute drive, the next exit off the freeway." He shrugs.

"I'm going in that direction too."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. We can just talk on the way home."

"Would you be willing to stop by for dinner? We can talk then. Maybe it can be considered our 'first date.'" You joke with a small giggle.

"Oh, sure. Yeah." He gives off a tiny, nervous laugh. "Where did you have in mind?"

"Can we get.. hm—" You hum. "Fire Wings? Down the street?" He almost feels intoxicated watching how your eyes gleam under the light, how they brighten and widen when you mention food. You were cute, and you didn't even know it.

"Only if you tell me what flavors you get." He tries to get smart, which makes you laugh. He made you laugh.

"Is this judgment day? Gonna see if you should call quits on our deal before it even starts?"

"Maybe." He goes along with it.

"Okay. Garlic Parmesan and Dragon." You pack up your things before shooting him a look.

"Okay, solid flavors." He nods. "I guess we can continue on."

"You're funny." You giggle as you both throw your bags onto your backs. You stay in your position until Jungkook comes to your side so you can walk by him. You don't know much about him, but he has a soft demeanor and he makes you feel comfortable. You had only seen him a couple of times across campus, not really noticing him much in class either. You feel a little bad knowing you didn't even try being that he sat behind you, but better late than never I guess? Maybe there was a reason for all of this happening. The way he tutored you today was insane, too— he was super smart, but broke it down perfectly, was patient. He was patient.

No wonder Dr. K loved his ass.

"What about you?" You picked up the conversation.

"I usually go for a dry rub and Garlic Parmesan."

"I haven't tried any dry rubs."

"You can try one of mine later."

"Okay." You suddenly remember to shoot Sunmi a text before she comes looking for you everywhere on campus. Jungkook stays silent beside you, allowing you to do your thing without being too overbearing or nosy.

But, he honestly can't help but glance a few times.

[y/n] 5:11pm: sorry just saw this, hitching a ride with my tutor. don't worry about me! ty ily, have fun working on your project.

[sunmi] 5:13pm: tutor, as in jeon jungkook?

[y/n] 5:15pm: yeah, he offered.

[sunmi] 5:16pm: okay, that was nice of him. if he tries anything tho i'll beat his ass. text me when u get home?

[y/n] 5:17pm: don't worry about him, he won't lol i will.

[sunmi] 5:18pm: kk love u b

"Sorry." You say, tucking your phone into your pocket. "Had to text Sunmi."

"That's okay. You two are really close, right?"

"Yeah, since high school."

"Cool." At this point, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are coming out of the café at the same you two are passing.

"What about you, where are your friends?"

"Um." He sighs, trying to avoid his friends obnoxiously waving and calling him from the distance. You glance over from behind his figure, chuckling a little bit. "That's them."

"Cute. You all are really close, too?"

"Ya, I've known Jimin the longest though." You smile and wave at them, causing them to gasp and whisper amongst each other with huge smiles on their faces.

"I'll need to meet them if we're gonna do this thing for real. Do they know?"

"Yeah kinda."

"That's okay. We should probably work on keeping it between us though." He nods.

"Okay, but. Can we save meeting them for later? They're a bit.. much." You smile.

"Sure."

"D-do I have to meet Sunmi?" You nod.

"If you wanna make this believable, yeah."

"She's kinda scary."

"Jungkook, she's not gonna bite your head off. She just has that look, but I promise she's sweet." That look, that resting bitch face. Really, you could be biased because it's Sunmi. She really only had issues if she felt disrespected. Other than that, she meant well. Same with you— you've been accused of being intimidating and having the same look but you don't mean any harm by it.

"Okay." Jungkook unlocks his black 2016 Honda Civic and pops his bag in the trunk. You do the same, while Jungkook goes to open the passenger door for you.

"Thanks." You smile sweetly at him. He climbs into his seat, hitting the button to start the car and sighs. The music in the background starts to play, and it sounds mellow, soothing— like it came straight out of a fairytale. His eyes widen as he rushes to lower the volume before shyly looking at you.

"Sorry."

"What, no. Don't be. What is this?"

"A Final Fantasy lofi mix." He begins to drive off as you turn the volume back up.

"It's nice. Pretty relaxing."

"Ya, it's nice to listen to after a long day." He pushes his glasses up at the light.

"Do you have family here?" He nods.

"I do. My mom and dad live about an hour away. I'm the only child. What about you?"

"Same. They're probably 30 minutes up north."

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, I live in a studio. It's actually my coworker's. She bought the space to rent it out. She lets me rent it for pretty cheap though."

"That's nice."

"You?"

"I live with Jimin. Our parents are close."

"What about your other friends?"

"Hoseok is dorming, and Taehyung would rather live back home with his family and commute. He's close to them. He'll crash at ours or Hoseok's from time to time."

"Are you close to your family?" He nods as he turns into the plaza lot.

"I suppose, yes. I'm just really quiet overall, so they think it's hard to read me sometimes." He parks and you watch as he shuts the car off with the same button. "You?"

"Yeah, I'm really close to my mom. Dad, a little questionable."

"Why, if I may ask?" He comes to open your door again, causing you to give him a small smile.

"He, um. Just got into some stuff." He watches as your body tenses while you fiddle with your fingers waiting in line.

"It's okay, don't think about it. I won't ask again."

"It's okay, Jungkook. Really. Maybe another time?" You look up at him and he nods. He stands way taller than you, almost at Seokjin's height, if not the same. He likes to wear baggy, dark clothing and doesn't do much to fix or style his hair.

He's simple, but in a good way.

You both order your food with Jungkook going first so he can grab a table afterwards. Before he could pay though, you offer to cover him for dinner as your way of thanking him for driving you home. You make your way over to the table he snags, Jungkook silently sitting at the high table with his legs pressed together and his hands clasped tightly on his lap.

"You okay?"

"Ya, why?"

"You look tense."

"Sorry. It's not everyday I have dinner with Y/N." You smile.

"Stop, relax." You watch as he slightly eases up. "So, this deal." He nods. "A month?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"We have to convince people it's real or else people will know something weird is going on." You look at his hand, now resting on the table. "You're gonna have to hold my hand and kiss me, you know?" He swallows the lump in his throat. Shit, he thinks. Don't know if I can actually pull this off?

A kiss?! Fuck.

"Y-yeah."

"When was your last relationship, Jungkook?"

"8th grade." Your eyes widen.

"O-oh, now I see."

"What's that supposed to mean? It's terrible, I know but I—"

"No, no, no. You're good. It's totally okay, it doesn't matter. I'll just have to teach you to make it look realistic and not.. awkward." You perk up again. "Not saying that you are though, okay."

"I know."

"So, are you.."

"Am I..?" He cocks hid head to the side in confusion.

"Like.."

"Just ask Y/N."

"Are you a virgin?"

"I don't know." You furrow your brows.

"Huh?"

"Look, this is gonna sound really embarrassing and I don't know if I'm even ready to tell my fake girlfriend about it."

"Just say it. We have to know things about each other." He sighs.

"I— ugh." He groans. "I did it with my girlfriend at the time. Or I guess my ex because we had broken up and this was sometime during freshmen year in high school and she came onto me out of nowhere at a mutual friend's pool party. But it was weird because we were just hormonal kids and I was just curious so I slipped myself into her only to slip back out right after because—" He's rambling, but you're doing your best to keep up.

"Because?"

"I-I, ugh. Y/N." He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Are you really gonna make me say it?"

"Jungkook." You lean a bit to try and catch eye contact.

"I came right away." He says just as the worker puts down your food and takes the number from your table.

"Ohhhhhhh." You say as you nod slowly. "Okay."

"You can just run now." His head hangs low as he slowly slides his chicken over in front of him, causing you to chuckle.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. Stop that."

"It's pathetic."

"No. Besides, I know you'll get better overall, and you'll find someone who will rock with you till the end. We'll work on this."

"Thanks." He says, feeling comfortable around you. You were quick to reassure him and smile at him, he felt himself melting in his seat. Yeah, you were too good for Seokjin.

"You'll have to come to parties with me. Club events. Events in general. It won't look right if I'm always going without you."

"Okay. Can I bring my friends?"

"Sure." He nods. "What do you do in your free time?"

"Play video games and listen to music. Read comics, manga. Build lego sets with the guys."

"Cute." You smile.

"You?"

"Hang out with Sunmi, or just watch movies on my own at my place. Read. Eat by myself. Explore by myself. I value my alone time."

"It's nice." Jungkook's familiar with it. Even if he had his friends around, he truly liked being in his own peace when allowed. "What about outside of the public eye?"

"Hm?" You hum.

"Do we hang out?"

"Yeah we can." You nod.

"Cool." He smiles.

"Is my car gonna be a lot of work for you?"

"Don't worry about it, it'll be good soon. Just might take a bit cause I need some parts to make it look brand new again."

"I really can't thank you enough." He shrugs.

"Only trying to help my girlfriend out." He boldly says, causing you to laugh.

"Confidence is peeking through already, are you sure you need me?" You joke. The rest of the evening, you continue to talk to Jungkook about pretty surface level shit— what you like, dislike, overall experience in high school and college so far. It was a nice, harmless conversation, one where you were starting to see how warmhearted Jungkook really was. How real and laid back.

None of the shit in Seokjin's group. It was refreshing, a breath of fresh air.

Once dinner had finally finished, Jungkook was on his way to drop you off. He had parked in an empty guest spot, offering to walk you up just to be sure. At the door, he took a peek at how clean your studio was, mainly soft colors of white and cream taking over, with plants scattered around your living room area. The hallway in was sandwiched between your kitchen area and another wall, Jungkook assuming your bed was on the opposite side of it. He awkwardly stands at the door, afraid of overstepping.

"Well, goodnight Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hey, wait." You smile and come close to him. He swallows, his mouth suddenly feeling dry when he feels your breasts press against his chest. "First lesson— give me a kiss."

"Right now?"

"Jeon Jungkook, we're doing this tomorrow. People are gonna have to see this at least once while we're together." He nods and presses a quick kiss against your cheek. "Not bad, but a little longer?" He complies and presses another kiss, leaving his pillowy lips against your cheek for a little longer before pulling away. "Perfect. Now here." You point at your lips before crossing your arms.

"Y/N, I—"

"Don't be afraid, just do it. I won't kick you in the balls or anything."

"It's not that. I just don't think I'm a great at this stuff."

"Okay." You tippytoe and gently grab his jaw while you lean towards his face. "Just relax, okay? Don't think too much of it." He stays silent, doe eyes constantly on you as you continue to inch forward.

Sparks. Just sparks everywhere for Jungkook.

He feels your soft lips against his and he relaxes, moreso because he feels like he's lost all senses being this close to you. Taking in your scent. Kissing you.

"There." He stands still, still trying to process the kiss. "Not bad. We'll get better over time, but at least that looks believable. Just—" You put his hands down as they were about to fall onto your hips during the kiss, but they fell short. "Let it happen and hold me, okay?" You smile. "Night Jungkook."

"N-night." He stutters as he watches you close the door. "Fuck." He whispers to himself when he realizes he's now sporting a boner. "Jungkook, what the fuck is this?!" He continues to whisper to himself as he waddles down your hallway.

[spencestyles]

Instagram Girl (pt 2)

summary: you meet spencer’s team after finding out they’ve seen your instagram

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: none

words: 1k+

~~~~~~~~~~

y/u/n

liked by 5,823

you can't tell but our shoes are matching

comments

drreid: I told you to caption it "Matchy, matchy" but whatever, we're still cute.

penelope_meow: THIS IS SO CUTE I SHIP

y/u/n: @penelope _meow you must be one of Spencer's work friends, the technical analyst

"Spencer did your work friends find out about us?" you asked.

“They did, I guess our technical analyst-“

“Penelope,” you cut him off.

"Yes, Penelope, she saw that I commented on your picture, which I almost never do, and she looked at the post and then stalked your account," Spencer explained.

"Can I meet them now?" you asked, knowing yes would be your answer. Spencer never said no to you.

"There is a dinner at Rossi's tonight," Spencer said. "I was going to ditch it, but if you want to meet the team I can tell Dave we're coming."

"Yes we are going," you said. "I need to shower, I'll be out in like ten minutes."

In the BAU groupchat

y/n and I are coming to dinner tonight

Penelope: OMG FINALLY

Dave: Good! I made extra pasta!

Jennifer: I can't wait to meet her!

You walked out of the shower and saw Spencer smiling at his phone, "What are you smiling at?"

"My friends are excited to meet you," Spencer said.

"I'm feeling anxious," you said honestly. "What should I wear?"

"Wear that new black dress you got," Spencer said.

"Are you sure you want me to wear that?" You asked honestly. "I mean it is pretty scandalous for me to just be meeting your team."

"Derek has been making fun of me for being a virgin for years" Spencer explained. "I want them to know I have a sexy girlfriend that I sleep with nightly." You laughed and walked into your shared bedroom and changed. You walked out ready to leave.

"Spence, we should leave now," you said.

"Wow," Spencer began. "Maybe, you should change."

"Spencer Walter, I am not changing" you said. "I knew this was going to happen, I am not changing. Don't make a fool out of yourself. We are leaving." You were freaking out. You had never met Spencer's team and you knew they were going to be critical. They were his best friends.

You stepped out of Spencer car and looked at David's house, well mansion, "Wow."

"Just wait until you see whats on the inside," Spencer laughed. You walked up to the front of the house shaking. You were so nervous and Spencer also made you late. Spencer knocked on the door and you heard the noise from inside the house stop and people walking to the door. The door opened and six familiar people stood smiling at the door.

"Hello," Spencer said. "Team this is my girlfriend, y/n this is my team."

"Hi," you said softly as David took you inside.

"Can you guys not be so awkward, try not to scare her off. Jesus Christ," Spencer whisper-yelled at the team.

"Sorry Pretty Boy, but we are just excited to see Spencer's hot new girlfriend," Derek said.

"Don't call my girlfriend hot," Spencer said. "I know she is." Smirking, Spencer walked away to his girlfriend who was talking to Aaron and David.

"So y/n, Spencer told us you are a teacher," Aaron said.

"Yeah I'm an English teacher, I have a Phd in Literature," you responded.

"Spencer never told us you had a Phd," David said.

"I don't talk to many people about it, especially since I'm a high school English 9 teacher," you said quietly.

"Well, y/n, I have a seven year old, and he is not the best reader," Aaron began. "Maybe you could help him out."

"I would love to, but don't be too worried if he's not a strong reader, all kids read at different paces," you said feeling Spencer's arm around your waist. "Not everyone is Spencer Reid. I couldn't even read properly until I was nine, all the words were jumbled because I was so stressed about reading properly."

"Well lets eat," David said. "The pasta is going to get cold." You all walked over to the table sitting down. You sat between David and Spencer.

"So y/n," JJ began passing around a salad bowl. "How did you and Spencer meet?"

"Well we were guest lecturing at the same class," The team looked at you strangely. "Because of my background in literature, I helped sex crimes with a case that had to do with poetry." They nodded in understanding. "So we were lecturing and after the class we were talking because Spencer made this super silly joke about Romeo and Juliet, which thinking about it was a very strange dark humor. But I found it funny so I asked him to coffee and basically we talked about books and why a high school English teacher was helping the FBI." The team smiled.

"I'm glad he met you y/n," Derek said. "I haven't seen Pretty Boy this happy in a long time."

"Pretty boy?" you asked.

"It's a nickname I made up for him when he first joined the team," Derek said as the team snickered.

"So that must be why Spencer got super weirded out when I started calling him that," you said.

"No way, pretty girl calls pretty boy, pretty boy?" Penelope asked.

"Yes and no," you explained. "Now it is mainly a joke, but I do say it because it is very true." The team laughed while Spencer blushed profusely.

y/u/n

Liked by 5,759

finally got to meet spencer's work friends

comments

drreid: They love you almost as much as I do.

penelope_meow: YOU ARE AMAZING.

jenniferjareau: We need to have a girls night! SOON!

drreid

Liked by 102

pretty girl

comments

y/u/n: I love you

derek1118morgan: she almost may be prettier than you pretty boy

emily_prentiss: if you two ever end things let me know @y/u/n

y/u/n

Liked by 5,978

note to self: always let Jennifer Jareau pick out your outfits for brunch with the girls

comments

jenniferjareau: this fit >>>>

drreid: You look amazing as always

rossidave: Your Italian is showing

y/u/n

Liked by 6,423

spence finally got the guts

comments

drreid: Can't wait to spend forever and a day with you

aaronhotchnerBAU: Congratulations y/n, Jack and I are excited for you both

penelope_meow: You need to tell me all about it sunshine

jenniferjareau: Me too!

emily_prentiss: Me three!

y/u/n: Girls night tonight?

derek1118morgan: Congrats y/n, glad you said yes because I was hyping Spencer up all week

rossidave: Congratulations y/n, talk to me if you need help with planning the wedding. My back yard is a great and free space.

y/u/n

Liked by 6,003

this is the only photo from the bachlorette party that we have a decent amount of clothes on

comments

emily_prentiss: BEST NIGHT EVER

jenniferjareau: Never let me drink that much again

penelope_meow: I NEED to see those other pictures

derek1118morgan: So do I baby girl

drried: No you don't Derek

drreid: Hopefully it was your best last night out as a y/l/n

y/nreid

Liked by 6,543

happy

comments:

drreid: I love you

drreid: You looked absolutely beautiful today

[loverrrgirl]

KISMET- Austin Butler x reader - PART 12

Warnings: minors leave now. Nothing happens in this chapter but things are happening SO soon. And honestly this chapter is cute to me so let me know that you think happens next!

Here’s the masterlist

Luv u

Once we were in the car, I suddenly felt very excited. I had no idea where he was taking me. I hate surprises, typically. But somehow I just knew I could trust him.

I knew how it sounded. Don't be so naive so Stella. But there really was something about him. His energy, his presence, his sincerity in everything he said and everything he felt. He was different. And he was good. Through and through.

I caught him a couple of times. Peeking over at me while he was driving. And I was certainly peeking back.

"I love this dress by the way. Thank you so much." I smiled at him. It was very me. And it was special that even though he hadn't known me long, he seemed to capture my essence. In dress form anyways

"Yeah, yeah you're welcome. It looks amazing on you." He gave me a side smile and but his bottom just a little bit. Just enough to make me melt into a literal puddle.

I bit the inside of my lip nervously. Hopefully he didn't pick up on that. I hated that I did it, but old habits die hard, or whatever the saying is.

"Thanks. Where are you taking me anyways?" I raised an eyebrow at him. It could have been a corn field in the middle of nowhere and a picnic. It could have been to Chili's. Somehow I knew I'd follow this man anywhere and everywhere he wanted to take me. I was cornfield ready.

"It's called Moonshadows. It's in Malibu. I've actually never been but I've heard it's great. I figured we might as well try it if we're going out." He said as he looked over at me. His eyes were dancing. I could tell he was excited. He liked to try new things.

So do I.

"Mmmm. Can't wait to try it." I said quietly. We were at a stop light now. And I couldn't stop thinking about what to do if anyone recognized him.

Just follow his lead Stella.

"So, Stella. You didn't do much on your birthday. Understandably. But if you could have any birthday dessert, what would it be? And why?" He inquired.

"Hmmmmm. That's a hard one. I guess it would have to be a carrot cake cupcake. Which probably isn't the average choice. But when carrot cake is done right, it's superior to any other kind and you can't change my mind." I said playfully.

He looked at me. He seemed intrigued. "Noted. How many candles do I have to fit on to one cupcake?"

"Twenty four now I guess. I'm old. I'm ancient. I'm withering away as we speak." I laughed. Getting older is weird. He laughed, and his cheeks lit up.

"Then I'm really ancient." He said, with a few chuckles left in his breath.

"Oh, I found that receipt you left me today. In my suit case. Would you believe me if I told you that I hadn't opened my suit case at all until today?" I asked quietly, feeling bad. I hoped he wasn't waiting around for me to call him. I would have if I found the note sooner.

"I did start to worry you just didn't want to see me again. But I considered that maybe you just hadn't seen it yet." He said, he ran his thumb across his bottom lip again.

Jesus it's so sexy when he does that. I wonder if he knows how sexy it is.

"Oh god. No. Not at all. I'd have called you days ago. At least to get my sweater back." I side eyed him. I wasn't sure yet what his humor threshold was but I couldn't wait to find out.

"Mm. Mhmmm." He replied. With a smirk. He wasn't insulted that I said it. His smirk told me he didn't mind it at all. But I couldn't tell exactly what he was thinking. But I'd do nearly anything to hear him respond that way to me again.

The rest of the drive, we just caught up about our last few days. He told me about visiting Ashley and how he even told her about how I left the sweater in his car. She thought I might have done it on purpose. I laughed at that one. A super clever tactic, and one I never would have thought of. But I'll keep it in the back of my mind in case it's useful in the future.

We finally arrived after nearly an hour and a half. But I only knew because I checked the time before putting my phone in my purse. It felt like maybe 20 minutes had passed. He was so easy to talk with.

Austin's Point of View

I parked the car and got out to open Stella's door. I held out my hand and as she grabbed it, she moved one leg out of the car and then the other. My breath hitched.

She isn't wearing any panties. Naughty girl.

I had to try to figure out how to keep my composure for the rest of the night knowing that golden little bit of information. I pulled her around to the other side of the car door so I could close the door and adjust myself a little bit behind the door. Thankfully she was looking out at the beach view and didn't notice my discomfort.

"Ready?" I asked, wishing I didn't have to interrupt the way she was lost in thought, gazing out at the beach. I wondered what she was thinking.

"Ready." She replied, turning her head towards me. She slipped her arm into the curve of mine, holding on delicately as we walked inside.

As we entered, the hostess greeted us. I leaned in to her ear and asked if we could have the most private table she had open that was outside. She blushed a little at my closeness and then nodded. We followed her up the stairs and on to the outdoor terrace. We were the only ones up here. Just the way I liked it.

I pulled Stella's chair out for her and as she sat, I pushed it slightly in. And it was cute, the way she looked up at me afterwards. Like she'd never had a man do that for her before.

I took my seat on the other end of the small table. I smiled, chuckled even, at the view I had. I couldn't imagine sitting across from anything or anyone more beautiful than she was right now. The way the last of the sunlight in the sky made her skin glow. The way the fire of the sun was dancing between her bright green eyes. The way she bit the inside of her lip when she was nervous about something. The way she wasn't wearing any panties underneath the dress I got her for dinner.

"What's your drink of choice?" I asked her. Curious on her answer. A drink of choice said a lot about a person. She took a second to look over the cocktails menu.

"The Phoenix rising drink looks stellar" she said, slightly looking up at me from the menu. "What about you?"  She asked me. She was trying to read me too.

A tequila girl. Fantastic.

"I'm a whiskey guy myself. I'm going to get the Black Manhattan." I said, wondering if she had an opinion on whiskey.

"Mmmm. It's been a long time since I've had one of those." She said, seemingly thinking back to the time she tried it. "It was alright." She said to me, direct eye contact and a smirk.

"Mmm. Alright huh?" I replied.

Just then our waitress came by to ask for our drink order. "I'll take a Black Manhattan. And she'll have a Phoenix Rising. Thank you, Anna." I replied to her, reading her name tag so I could address her by name for the rest of night. I smiled and nodded as she walked away.

I looked back at Stella to read her expression since I'd ordered her drink for her. It was a habit of mine. One I quite enjoyed. She had a slight smirk on her face as she was looking over the dinner menu.

"Do you know what you're eating?" She asked me.

A good question. I supposed I'd better look at the menu some instead of at her. I already knew what I'd probably get but figured I'd double check that nothing sounded better.

"The filet mignon probably. You can never go wrong with a well cooked steak." I finally said after checking through the menu. "What are you thinking?"

"The salmon sounds delicious." She said "but so does the pear salad."

She was doing that thing girls do sometimes. Make it seem like they would almost rather eat just a salad instead of a well rounded meal. Or she was nervous of the cost. Salmon it is then. She probably hadn't eaten much all day.

Our waitress came back with our drinks and asked if we were ready to order. "Yes actually. We'll do the filet mignon, cooked medium rare. And the Scottish salmon. Thank you" I smiled again at Anna. She nodded and went to put our orders in.

"Thank you" Stella said. "I wish it were summer. Then it would still be light enough to walk to the beach after this."

"I hope you don't mind. I actually booked us a hotel room with a beach view. Two beds of course. And if you'd like your own room we can do that instead. Just in case we get too tired to drive back tonight. Or if we wanted to check out the view in the morning." I told her. I hoped she wouldn't think it was presumptuous of me. I wasn't expecting or planning anything other than a nice romantic evening of getting to know each other more and spend time together.

I even packed her an over night bag in case she agreed. Sweatpants and a t shirt of mine. Essential toiletries. During my shopping outing yesterday, I saw this little sundress that I thought would look nice on her. I packed that away in the bag I packed for her too.

"That sounds really nice. Beach sunrises happen to be my favorite kind." She smiled. She was also biting the inside of her lip. She was nervous. Hopefully not for long.

As we ate our dinner, we talked, and joked, and laughed. We told each other some favorite childhood memories. Some of our embarrassing stories.

Once we finished, I gave Anna my card. Stella offered to pay. Cute. I wondered how many dates in it would take her to stop offering.

I stood up to offer Stella my hand as she stood from her seat. I checked the time on my watch. 9:15. Dammit. The patisseries were all closed around here.

"I have somewhere very special to take you" I told Stella in a joking, mysterious voice. I knew where I was talking her. And I hoped she would find the simple humor in it.

[bts-weverse-trans]

210104 Weverse Magazine ‘Be’ Comeback Interview - Suga

SUGA “I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music” BTS BE comeback interview 2021.01.04

SUGA has this way of talking passionately with a deadpan look on his face. Full of passion about his life and music.

How is your shoulder? SUGA: Good. I think it’ll get even better once I take off this brace. Apparently, it takes several months for a full recovery, but I'm trying to get better as fast as possible.

How does it feel like to have resolved a problem that has distressed you for long? SUGA: First of all, I'm glad. The pain is one thing, but when my shoulders got worse, I couldn't even raise my arms. But when I heard that this might recur when getting the surgery at a young age, I waited for the right time and had decided to get it done early next year regardless of the COVID-19 situation. I had planned to get the surgery after the year-end stages, but I got it done this year (2020) because my doctors advised me to start preparing early for next year’s promotions and activities.

How does it feel like watching the other members doing promotions? SUGA: I can't say it feels great. I could see the emptiness because we've been together as a group of seven for so long. Not necessarily because I'm not there but because something that should be there is missing?

Is that what made you join the promotion as much as possible? You shot lots of video footage in advance and you even appeared in the Mnet “2020 MAMA” through VR. SUGA: Fake SUGA (Laughs). There’s this 3D studio where we shot it. I shot, scanned, and acted there, but couldn't see the actual result at the studio. I thought a sense of displacement was unavoidable, and that was exactly the case. (Laughs) I acted normal because it would have been aired anyway even if I hadn’t had the surgery, but it seems a lot because it’s aired after the surgery.

You must feel restricted not being able to go on stage. SUGA: The thing is, it's only been a month after I got surgery, but my absence on stage is so apparent. But my doctors keep telling me that I shouldn't be impatient and in fact, many athletes get a resurgery when they return to the field without proper rehabilitation. So I'm working on trying to care less. For the first two weeks after surgery, I felt so frustrated that I tried out new things. I even watched movies I didn't watch.

What movies did you watch? SUGA: I watched ‘Samjin Company English Class’ as it happened to be on IPTV, and now I have ‘Tenet’ on my list. ‘Parasite’ was the last movie I saw at a cinema. As the social distancing measures became stricter, I haven’t been going outside, except going to the hospital. I even eat at home. I'm also watching a lot of TV nowadays. Watching music shows like ‘Sing Again’, ‘Folk Us’, and ‘Show Me The Money 9’ made me think of what I should do in the upcoming days.

Could you elaborate on that? SUGA: A lot of candidates on ‘Sing Again’ are very talented but hadn't had the opportunity, and on ‘Folk Us’, I noticed that many took their own guitars on stage. I started playing the guitar lately and I'm having this urge to broaden my scope of music. And since my interest in the music industry in the U.S. grew, I'm getting prepared, studying English and all.

What fueled your interest? SUGA: In some ways it’s the most commercially developed market. You could lose the industry attention in a flash if it's not feasible. So in this system, you would try everything and that would be an efficient way. I want to do music for a long time, and to this end, I always want to learn more about the global music industry because I want to do music that’s loved not only in Korea, but also in the U.S., Japan and Europe.

Speaking of which, it seems BE was influenced from music of the past rather than today's trends. SUGA: I especially like impromptu music. I love the songs that were made in one take instead of being recorded several times. In this era of crossover genres, the desire to do better in music is growing inside me.

As the genres become more blended, the melody you use must be more important. Does starting to play the guitar affect your composing in any way? SUGA: I always liked using guitar sounds. And I have always liked the Eagles. If you play the guitar, it’s way easier to write songs because you can carry it along wherever you go, pluck on the strings to create melody lines. Keyboards are difficult to carry around. (Laughs) I usually work on my laptop but I had this thought that I definitely needed an instrument. It accelerates my work and improves my understanding of chords.

It makes me think you could intuitively make melodies. SUGA: It’s easier to write a song because you can intuitively make a progression and try many different things. During my work on ‘Eight’, IU had recorded and sent me a song from her phone. At the time I couldn’t play the guitar, so we tried to make sure we’re working on the same page when keeping track of each other's progress. That made me feel the need to learn an instrument.

This is actually before you started playing the guitar, but I found ‘Telepathy’ in BE very interesting. The varying melodic progressions between hooks for each member made me wonder if you wrote the melody intuitively for each part. SUGA: I tried writing a melody for the first time this year (2020), and as I started knowing the fun of music, it opened a lot of new doors for me. So it was kind of easy working on it. I just played a beat and wrote from the beginning until the end. Done. I wrote it in just 30 minutes. The song almost wrote itself. The trends of pop and hip-hop these days cross boundaries between vocals and rap. I like this trend.

When I listen to your singing, it feels like you’re hitting the beats rather than singing along the notes. So I thought perhaps you're singing as if you're rapping. SUGA: When you're rapping, you just think of the rhythm, so it’s like simply putting on a melody to a rhythm. To define which comes first, I think melody adds to it while writing the rap.

In ‘Life Goes On’, the lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me, nothing’s changed’ are somewhere in between. It's not rap but it’d be mundane to say it's a mere melody. SUGA: There are obviously songs where the rap needs to be highlighted. For example, in ‘Dis-ease’ or ‘Ugh!’, you have to be good at rap. But in songs that should be easy to listen to, impressive raps are not always the way to go. Sometimes, you want smooth transitions without obstacles.

In that sense, the rap flow of ‘Blue & Grey’ was impressive. Rather than a dramatic effect that emphasizes each part, you extended the rap just as much as the slowing beat. SUGA: To be honest, this beat is difficult to rap to. The beginning of the song only has a guitar line, which made it even more difficult. I participated when we wrote lyrics for ‘Blue & Grey’ and I've always wanted to work on a song like this. It was because verse 1 talks about the theme of the song.

It seems you achieved almost everything that you wanted in BE. SUGA: I think it took less than a week to make my part in the album. After having written one or two melodies for ‘Life Goes On’, I wrote a version complete with rap, and liked it that I even worked on a separate arrangement and lyrics. Rather than pondering over the ways that might work, I choose to simply play the music and write.

Many creators are unsure even after they’ve produced good work. How do you get the conviction to release your work? SUGA: Many musicians are unsure whether they should release their music or not. It was the same for me, but the thing is, you’ll never release anything if you nitpick everything. For example, if we release 10 songs, we have a chance to unveil them in concerts or fan events. And sometimes, as we listen to the song, we think, ‘Why does this part that had bothered me no longer bother me?’ Some things might feel awkward at some point, but in time, it no longer feels awkward. Even I forget about it. So it's more efficient to fine tune, looking at the big picture, rather than thinking too much about the details. On top of that, during promotions, I don’t have the time to pick tracks that others have sent for 10 hours. It would be a success for all of us if each of us play and write a melody in their own time and collaborate with others on the details. So the way of songwriting has evolved in many aspects.

What motivated such evolution? SUGA: I think it evolved naturally. I've changed in personality this year (2020), as well as in terms of my interpretation and attitude toward life to the extent that I almost thought I've been rehearsing. How would it feel like if there were no stage to go to or anyone looking out for me? This thought made me realize the value of these things.

In ‘Dis-ease’, you sing ‘I don’t know if it’s the world that's sick’. Was it this lifestyle that changed your thoughts about your work? SUGA: Yes. When I was young, I had embraced the belief that ‘It must be my fault’, but as I got older, I realized that this is not always true. Most of what I had thought was my fault was in fact, not my fault. On the other hand, there are things that I did well and times I had been lucky.

‘I NEED U’ came out during a time when you were still thinking, “It must be me”. After the members put on a stage with ‘I NEED U’ in KBS' ‘Song Festival’, you wrote on Weverse, “It’s the same as five years ago.” How would you compare with back then? (This interview was held on December 19, 2020.) SUGA: We've matured quite a bit. And our stage performances have become more natural. I still like ‘I NEED U’. Just listening to the beat makes me sentimental, and above all, the song came out nicely. So as I was watching this and that when I stumbled across old videos. Watching them made me think that we haven’t changed much.

In what aspect haven't you changed much? SUGA: Before the social distancing measures got stricter, I talked with the photographer for BE, whom I had met four years ago. The photographer was surprised that we hadn’t changed much after all the success, even though he had assumed we’d be very different.

I'm amazed personally. I’ve had the chance to meet the members before your debut, but from your way of talking with members or others, it seems you haven't changed. SUGA: I think it's because we don’t give it a big deal about success. For example, it's incredible to be ranked first on the Billboards, but there’s also this sense of, “Okay, and?”

Even the Grammys? (Laughs) SUGA: When we got nominated for the Grammy Awards, we thought, ‘Is this real?’ (Laughs) Of course we were delighted, but it didn’t make us think, ‘We're singers nominated for the Grammy.’ If you're nominated, you're nominated, and if you get the award, you get the award. You don't get shaken by that. I know it's a great award and would be so grateful if we receive it, but we know that nothing is possible without the tremendous support of our fans. What’s more important is that the fans are more flattered than us when we receive a great award. So everyone's rejoicing, but it’s like, ‘Let's do what we have to do.’ We've been training ourselves to keep finding our places, so no one remains overexcited.

In ‘Fly To My Room’, there are lyrics that say, ‘This room is too small to contain my dream’, and ‘Sometimes this room becomes an emotional trash can, but it embraces me.’ I had this feeling that the room had been such a place and that you were accepting that you have changed. Then the essence must have remained the same. SUGA: It wasn’t easy to accept that we eventually change. But I think it's a good thing that we changed. What we did back then was possible only at that time, and we could change because of the things we had accomplished.

Then, what new things are you dreaming about? SUGA: I'm eager to continue doing music. Since all performances were canceled due to COVID-19, I had a chance to talk to so many musicians in Korea. I talked with legendary singers as well as people who are my contemporaries. Talking with them once again made me realize that I love music so much. Because music is my profession, I can’t imagine myself not doing it. I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music.

What kind of music do you think you’ll be engaged in in the future? SUGA: I was greatly motivated when I saw the concert of Na Hoon-a last Chuseok . I wondered how many musicians would actually be able perform and write music for so long like he has. At that moment, it occurred to be that ‘I want to be like him’. He has passion and desire, and most of all, he is a superstar. A few years ago, I took my parents to a Na Hoon-a concert, and when they watched the performance last Chuseok, they said it was way less impressive to see him perform through the TV. (Laughs)

That must explain your interest in a broader spectrum of music from instruments to composing and musical genres. Because you want to be doing this for a long time. SUGA: My goal is to continue doing music in any shape or form. In that sense, I have this great respect toward Cho Yong-pil. He takes the best sound there is and reinterprets it into his own. I think that’s something I want to emulate and keep changing and evolving so that I can continue doing music for decades to come.

The lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me nothing’s changed’ must sound more meaningful for the fans because they will be listening to your music for a long time. SUGA: A month and a half in the current times must seem like a lifetime for the fans when we're far apart. I feel the same. But I think that's proof that we worked hard for the past seven years and that the fans have been passionately reaching out to us. I'm striving to get to them as fast as I can, and I'm eager to go on stage. I'm going through this because I want to be better on stage in a better condition, so don't be sad, and please hang in there a little longer.

Trans © Weverse

[sscoutregimentss]

LUV for eren? thank youuuu

so i have actually already done L and U, but i'll add on a drabble/extra hcs as a treat edit: added a read more

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Eren is a good dad. 100% a DILF

I see him wanting to adopt kids, considering his childhood and how that was how he found his dearest, closest friends.

He gets along with all his kid's friends, so everyone knows that the Jaeger household is the place to go for hang outs. He has a tendency to project the positive parts of his upbringing onto his kids, and since his friends were so important to him growing up, he wants to make sure his children have that same support system. Yeah, he wants to be in the know about his kids lives, but there's some things parents just don't understand. Does not help that he's incredibly good looking, even as he gets older.

Super supportive of his kids interests. Sports? Let's go practice! Academics? What's the quadratic formula? Gaming? Teach me how to play! Performing arts? At every single recital. He also doesn't mind if they change their minds constantly about what they do. They're kids, so it's good to have many interest while they still have the chance to feel things out.

Can be strict when he wants to be, though. Doesn't mess around with the safety of his kids and their friends. Tries his absolute hardest not to get angry at his children despite his temper and he really only does when it comes to their safety. But he was wayyyy more reckless when he was their age (and lacked parental supervision) so he tries his best to just keep them out of trouble instead of having to scold them when they do. I touched on him being a good apologizer in a different post and that's still true in the case of his kids. Always apologizes if he raises his voice at them, no matter what happens.

Also he is one of those dads that loves embarrassing their kids with PDA. He will wrap his arms around you from the back and pepper you with kisses while you're making dinner in front of your angsty 13 year old just to hear a "UGH DAD YOU'RE SO GROSS"

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

"(Name)," Mikasa calls, lightly jogging over to your seat the coffee shop Eren works part time in. You knew he didn't work that day, but you've gotten kind of used to studying in the seat closest to the barista counter, even if Eren isn't throwing cheesy pickup lines at you or ranting about a professor. "Have you seen Eren today?"

You shake your head no, raising an eyebrow at her distressed expression. She was one of the most caring people you've ever met, but her cool façade rarely broke, making your own concern skyrocket.

"Is he okay?" You ask, pulling out your phone to check for any messages left by your boyfriend.

The dark haired girl sigh, pushing her bangs out of her face as her short hair moves along to match the shaking of her head. "He does this every year, on the exact same day. Just... disappears and comes back like nothing happened. I hoped at least this year he'd stay with you... but..."

You bite your lip in concern, letting Mikasa know you'll call her if anything turns up.

to: eren 💌

from: My Sunshine ☀️

can you call or text me asap? just let me know you're alive please a simple "hello" will suffice

you don't have to shut everyone out like this

i love you through it all. the good, the bad, and the ugly, you dummy. nothing could change that.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Mmm, mildly. He doesn't wear makeup, but he takes good care of his skin (which is just naturally flawless anyways...), makes sure his clothes fit him well, keeps his combed and moisturized, and generally doesn't leave the house feeling very dissatisfied with his appearance.

On that makeup note, once he used an eyelash curler, either yours or Historia's and he was just. blown away. He already has naturally long, dark, curly lashes, he just thinks he looks really nice with the extra help of the curler. Too lazy to invest in doing it daily, though.

Keeps up with his physique because he's an athlete, but also because he just likes how he looks in tight tops and shirtless. Eren is one of those hot guys that knows that he's hot, he just doesn't really care that he's hot. Unlike Reiner, who just is insecure in how he looks, and Jean, who knows that he's sexy and flaunts it, he just... knows. He only really cares for your opinion.

No set clothing aesthetic that he makes himself stick to, just wears well fitting and neatly pressed clothes. Mainly black or dark basics. Keeps some jewelry if he wants to elevate an outfit. But his usual top, pants, shoes, maybe some earrings and a necklace if it's fancy. Doesn't get complicated with layering like Armin does.

I like to think he has a few piercings and tattoos, simply because he likes how they look. Not like a full sleeve because he is still a broke college student, but a couple tattoos on his arms and two or three piercings on his ears, plus a tongue piercing? I am down bad for him. I'd say his tattoos are pretty meaningful. Eren does everything he does, from choosing his major to eating cereal, with purpose. Even if it's dumb it has his heart and soul behind it. At least, that's what he says when he explains why he is going to put hot dog wieners in Jean's parents lawn.

[animefreak1145]

For Whom the Bell Tolls(Adler x Bell!Reader)

Previous Next

Chapter 3| How Little We Know of What There is To Know

Chapter Summary:

Pretending and being numb is the key.

Yet Adler always manages to bring some emotion out of you.

Cold War Reset AU| Undertale Reset AU

Warnings: Torture, Brainwashing, Manipulation, Possible Non-Con/Dub-Con, Trauma

A/N: Where pineapple is the nectar of the gods and scars are lightning.

“Bell”

Second Life

23:09 | February 25, 1981

CIA SAFEHOUSE E9, “DIE LANDEBAHN”

You rubbed your dry eyes as you stared at your notes all over the desk you’ve chosen as your little corner, the large bulky computer taking up space but you’ve made do by moving the brick that is the keyboard as much as you could off to the side. Your papers held inks of different colors—although they were only red, blue, and black and yellow highlights—and you had a stack of folders behind the computer that were from the CIA and MI6 archives. You had Kraus’ ledger off to your side, headphones on top of it for you to hear the audio of U.S. cities and numbers. Your fourth mug of coffee of the day was already gone and you would grab another just to enjoy the warm liquid to go down your throat instead of the caffeine itself, you were always one of late night’s either way.

The safehouse was quiet outside the hum of the generator and the lights above. Most of the crew gone. Outside of your absent tapping of a pen against your messy notes and the white of a nearby fan for extra circulation, the main open area of the safehouse was a desert.

If you focused deeply, you can hear mumbles and murmurs that you can’t make out coming from the office. Adler has been in there for awhile talking over the phone. To who, you don’t know but you have your suspicions. You just hope the subject is not about you being suspicious—the talk on the roof was a slight on your part earlier.

You truly don’t know what came over you. But you need to watch your mouth and expressions. Adler is perceptive, deadly and ever watchful of a person’s micro expressions and body language.

You can’t mess up.

A shot rings. And a heart splinters.

“It was never personal.”

You really can’t.

Which is why, you have been focused solely on decoding the entire day. Your eyes scanning and assessing the acquired Intel from the Volkov mission for Operation Chaos and Operation Red Circus. You have the knowledge on how to solve them but you are lacking needed Intel to help finish Operation Red Circus.

Operation Chaos was tricky. With two pieces of evidence outside of the newspaper, it being the audio log and the paper that had the coded message. Earlier in the morning, you wrote down all the possible numbers the missing parts of the code be—trying to find the pattern in the set of red and blue numbers. You were writing down the possibilities, your paper looking chaotic with arrows and numbers and cities that could coincide with said numbers.

After the quick checkup of your head with Adler, all firm and gentle touches with you keeping your eyes to the side or down as he fulfilled why he got the alias Doc—treatments of gun wounds and cuts to bayonets, complete trust he’ll take care of you as he would lecture or tighten a bandage a tad too tight in reprimand due to a reckless action—and kept quiet as he did so outside of a soft yes or no when he asked  about the pain, you moved to go to work. Ignoring the feel of his gaze on you as you did so. Park coming to your desk after you moved your stuff from the center table to your chosen corner to begin, papers already everywhere and scattered as you tried to organize it in a manner you could only understand, a mug close to her mouth and a cocked brow at the mess.

“There’s a way to keep it a bit more clean and less like a junk pile,” the British woman said, amused as you made a distracted sound, squinting at the coded language in your hand as papers rustled. “And when I gave you my advice, I didn’t think you would take it so seriously. There’s a better desk you could’ve chosen as your own, Bell.”

You blinked, giving Park a confused look.

“Advice?”

Park making an obvious glance to the center table in front of the evidence board, you automatically following it. Only to turn back to your paper once you noticed Adler’s form by the table, cigarette in his hand as he stared down at his own files.

"From one woman to another, give him a wide berth."

“. . . I just needed some space to focus. I’m sure Adler wouldn’t like all my papers everywhere around him either way.” You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your head and your hand. You wanted to erase it. “But I don’t mind staying close just in case. Easier to hand things to you or him whenever I’m done.”

“Someone sounds confident,” Park commented with a sip of her coffee, making your own lips twitch for a moment as you replied that you are the best as you moved some papers around. Than, in a quiet murmur with a quick dart back to Adler’s direction, “Distractions are best to be avoided. . .”

“What was that?” You asked, placing everything in a pile as well trying to keep some of them up by leaning the papers on the computer screen and failing as they slid down. You heard Park release an exasperated humored huff through her nose just as you heard her step away only for you to have a black leather gloved hand in your face with sticky notes. “What is. . .”

“Oh come now. I am sure it’d be easier if you used these. Make sense of this chaos. I guess there is some fact of what people say about geniuses and their rooms,” she motioned the sticky note pad again as you stared at it. The papers were yellow but new. Unused, outside of a crinkle at an edge.

“Where am I?”

“Who am I?”

“What is happening?”

“Why can’t you remember?”

“D o  y o u  h e a r  i t ? ”

“Who is Perseus?”

“Tell me who I am!”

Blood forms the words, as if with a finger.

“They want to kill you.”

“Make it stop.”

“MK”

Words pressed on the page, over and over and over with harsh penmanship and you don’t understand what’s happening. What is this room? And that man. . .  Why does it hurt? Is this helping Russell?

Pain

           Pain          Pain              боль

                    боль

   Pain                                         Pain

              боль

Pain        Pain                   Pain

          Pain         Pain    Pain                

боль                                                              боль

It hurts.

GlockeGlockeGlockeG̷̟̩͙̏͌ḽ̸̊̿o̵̦̓͝c̵̭̯̊́ḱ̷̛̼͌͊e—

You turned away back to your papers, jaw tight.

“I’m good. Sticky notes can be a pain. Thank you, Park.” Park lowered her hand, giving you a questioning stare in the back of your head. You sighed, turning your head over your lowered shoulders. “I’m going to try to finish this today but I think I’m missing a few pieces of Intel. You can give me other things to decode for MI6 in the meanwhile.”

Park frowned delicately, lowering her mug.

“That sounds like a hefty workload. And I believe it would be best if we put all our focus into Perseus for now.”

No. You have to be useful.

“It’ll be fine,” you say, searching for a paper and giving it to her while Park grabbed it. “I solved that part of the code already. The other intel we got from Kraus, I’m going to need more information in order to figure out who exactly can be Strong Man, Bearded Lady, and the Juggler. I can’t go forward with that so might as well help with other codes you guys may have trouble with. What did you imply?” You ask with faux curiosity, your lips twitching up before falling as you wrote something down. “That I’m a genius?”

“Smartarse.” Park retorted, although she seemed to still hesitate but eventually she gave you three files where they seemed to be having trouble. You getting to work immediately to help as Park walked away and you hearing later on Park and Adler head to the office.

You did your best to not think too much of it. You have to keep at your work and make sure you’re capable and on task. You rather not get jabbed.

“We got a job to do.”

And although it might be inevitable, you would rather not have those words said to you as well. Even if it didn’t seem to have the same affect as before, the feeling and how your thoughts seemed to blur came back. Being aware you moved like a puppet and were one all along is not what you would like to focus on.

After you finished two of MI6’s files—had to do with KGB and how interesting they would use some quotes of Oscar Wilde’s 1984 hidden in the code as if the man was in support of communism with the work—with a hum mixed with impressed and curiosity from Park as she looked at the solved papers, your nose twitched at the scent of smoke and leather as you worked on the last MI6 folder.

“Stealing away my protege, Park?” Your hand around the pen paused before continuing, a plume of grey gathering above you. “And here I thought we have an equal partnership when it comes to this whole Perseus business. At least tell me you’re not wasting her time?”

“I wouldn’t call it stealing if she’s willing,” Park easily replied before handing him the two files to look over that you did, Adler scanning through it as she continued. “And it still has to do with our red friends. You sure are quick with the ball, Bell.”

“It’s nothing,” you say quietly, “Can’t exactly go forward so might as well help you with other codes that others can’t solve. Just send anymore my way. You too, sir.”

Adler made a distant hum, closing the files and handing it back to Park. You felt his stare at the back of your neck as you stared at the paper in front of you that might as well be nonsense since you sensed him.

Look at him, pup.

“If you wanted a more exciting challenge Bell, you could’ve asked. Always the type to leave no stone unturned and show off.”

“‘More exciting challenge’?” Park repeated, “Think MI6 codes are all flowers and rainbows compared to those in the CIA, Adler? I believe I recall that it was only Bell that could be able to solve the dossier instead of anyone else within your organization.”

Yeah, cause you brainwashed me, you thought bitterly but the two kept going as you could only sit in between. Nice to have to be a witness between these two again.

“Bell is the best CIA decoder we have,” you tightened your jaw in surprise instead of to tense when his hand landed on your shoulder, a gentle squeeze—in comfort, in belief, in trust, in camaraderie, in everything but what you wanted and what you needed, in order to control— as you lowered the paper in your hand. “As well as having a wide range of other skills. You think I would just call in any brain dead desk sitter for this operation?”

You could see in your mind’s eye how dizzy you would get before due to all this praise. Now, you just do your best to press your lips as your chest tightened.

You felt Park shift behind you, her looking at you in appraisal.

“You are one of a kind, Bell. Shame you were born in the wrong country. Having to have Adler here as your superior.”

You huffed through your nose in dry amusement at that. Irony not lost on you.

What a curse indeed.

You turned in your chair finally, lips quirked that didn’t quite meet your eyes as you pointed your thumb towards Adler.

“You should’ve seen him in ‘Nam if you think he’s bad now. Always with the lectures.”

You felt Adler release you, watching as he took an inhale as he did a small shrug in disinterest.

“You can be stubborn, Bell. If I couldn’t beat it out of you, I’ll talk it out of you.” You looked up and you could sense his eyes looking down at you behind those shades. “Although I feel like sometimes I’m wasting my breath. Your recklessness borders on insanity.”

“I think I can see why they put the both of you together than,” Park said, brow arched towards Adler and a certain look in her eyes towards him you couldn’t quite read. It looked like a warning. But what could that look be for? “Insanity breeds insanity as they say.”

They left you after that, you waving off Adler asking if you need a break. He took that as the okay to bring you CIA files for you to decode. Seems he has no trouble using you dry if you’re going to insist on it. Despite that, you took them and you were able to solve three.

Park came back towards your desk and saying you could have a break, again, you waved her off. As well as her concern you wouldn’t want to read into—is it real for you and your body, or is some sort of guilt that perhaps they gave you a strong dose for the memory exercise and you’re running on steam, is it fake or real, don’t break the puppet- so you didn’t. You telling Lazar the food you wish and him dropping it by your desk with his own comment that your brain might fall out and you saying you’ll be fine, even threw in a small joke that with his food your brain will be well nourished. Outside of your favorite brand of pumpkin seeds of course. Sims only made a stray comment about the stacks on your desk, getting tall as the day went on and turned to night. You don’t recall if you said something back. You probably did, Sims was always distant—you have trauma that’s not even real and have the gall to have some nightmares about it when he actually went through that horrible war and sees a therapist for it, you don’t know the war—so you would take what you would get.

Everyone eventually shuffled out, Park—her brows looking creased and a purse to her lips—back to the side of your desk before she left and saying you should rest and leave the rest tomorrow.

“I’ll finish the rest today,” you replied, resolute and determined as you wrote the next possible code from this possible radio station an ally of Perseus may be using. “No rest for the wicked. As they say,” you threw out additionally, an echo of her words earlier which made Park raise her brows. “It’s fine. Once I start something, I have to see it through. It helps I can be patient when it counts—at least with this.”

“You seem to take it literally. You’ve been at it since early this morning. You only moved I believe when Lazar brought your food and to use the washroom.” Once you shrugged and said that seems normal to do and you’re fine with that, you heard Park’s tone grow stronger in reprimand. “Yes, you’re fine. Tell me, is Adler stopping you from taking breaks?”

You stopped, looking at Park and her irritated expression.

“No. . . No, it’s just me.” So none of you stick me with that dreadful drug and dig around my brain. So I can show all of you I don’t need it—that you don’t need to do that. That I’m useful and more than an asset. Unneeded assets get thrown away. “I just—just don’t want to disappoint.”

"Disappoint? You've exceeded expectations at every turn, Bell. Disappoint who?"

You didn’t answer, only turned back around and continued with your pen. You heard Park mutter a curse before walking out, giving you a pat to your back and tell you you’re driving back with Adler than since he’s determined to work as well before leaving. Your eyes round down to your desk.

You’ll be alone together with him again.

You took a shaky breath, focusing on the paper in front of you.

You’ll be fine. Just keep what you’ve been doing. Pretend everything is okay.

Pretend his concern—the touch on your shoulders burned as he shook you, as if to erase your dark thoughts out of you, lifting you up with his hand easily with words of a concerned reliable friend commanding officer—is real. And his kindness—why did they save you, you’re useless, what use is an untrained dog—is real too.

Just don’t question it. You’ll go mad.

Mind your tongue as well—control yourself. You used to tease before with faux confidence when the both of you bantered, but you have to watch your spiteful and petty comments. You really don’t want him to give you a dose.

But if you feel like the path is leading you there, you have a way to get at least a semblance of control back.

Puppets don’t control the puppeteer.

“Bell.” You turned in attention, Adler by the center table as he motioned his head towards the garage door, cigarette in hand. “Time to go.”

You nodded once, getting up after fixing up your desk a bit. Grabbing your beanie turned ski mask and placing it back on your head instead of your face and walked over obediently as the both of you walked out through the side door.

Good dogs come when they listen.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯  ◁ ◁ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“Come on, you know I hate fruit cake! Just give me your pears, Singer!”

“Sorry, Bell,” Singer grinned, taking a big purposeful spoonful of pears from the can, teeth flashing. “Guess you have to deal with all of that yourself. Too bad you don’t have a connection to those who pass the MCI’s, huh?”

You quietly glared at him with no heat, the act almost making Singer choke on his precious pears that he could’ve given you. The choking action making him spit out some and towards you, you making a noise of disgust as you punched the laughing man harshly to his shoulder as vengeance. It made him wince as the others around the campsite laughed at the two of you—the sun still above and the Vietnam jungle loud with birds and the trees moving against the wind. Although not really a campsite you would say since there no fire. Can’t have any eyes on them to go towards smoke.

‘They know these jungles better than us’ as Adler says.

Speaking of Adler, you turned towards him where he leaned against a thick great Banyan tree local to this country—the trunk thick just like the branches that spiral even to the floor. They were all actually hidden in the alcove of this tree, the space enough for them until they kept going to their destination. A beautiful yet haunting tree with its dark and smooth bark all around. You overheard once by Lee and other South Vietnam soldiers in base that these trees can have spirits inside. Dangerous they said for some of them. You don’t think these ‘spirits’ ever met Adler.

You could see Adler’s lips were up in amusement due to your predicament despite his war paint, raising his brow over his black shades when he noticed your gaze.

Before you even fully lifted your hand with the can of horrendous fruit cake, he shook his head at you, lips going even more into a smile.

“Don’t even try, kid. I fucking hate fruit cake myself,” he adjusted himself against the tree and the gun in his lap. The food of his MCI basically gone outside the crackers and canned pineapple. “Disgusting things. I don’t know who’s bright idea was it to have hard pieces of fruit and dry raisins in cake.”

That’s what you’re saying!

“Please, Adler. I gave you my cigs already, at least give me some of your pineapple?”

Sims laughed beside you, nudging your shoulder with his and shaking his head in disbelief.

“You think Doc is gonna give you some of his golden nectar away? Might as well have asked him to give his cigs along with his lighter.”

“Not happening, Bell.” Adler answered casually, finishing up his crackers and swiping his hands against his pants before moving to the can. “Besides, not like you smoke anyways. The cigs would just sit there pretty in the box if you don’t hand it to me. Unless you want to try to smoke again. It went well last time.”

“Didn’t she choke?” Singer teased around a mocking grin. It made his youthful face boyish and eyes bright. “Almost hacked out a lung didn’t you?”

Larson, who was quiet between Singer and Adler, spoke up. Already finished with his food since he’s been mostly keeping to himself. This is the first official mission he’s had since he got the news. Poor guy.

“I remember that,” Larson said softly, looking towards you and you just took all their teases. You blame Adler. “It was after the drinking game between Butcher and Hamilton. You wanted to see the big deal about why everyone liked the nicotine.”

“Only for Doc to come to the rescue after Bell took one of his cigs,” Sims ended with a shit eating grin. You’ll kill him. “Surprised you’re still here and alive. Not from just avoiding choking on nothing either, but that you took a cig from him.”

“You guys bet that I couldn’t. . .” You muttered with narrowed eyes towards Sims who shushed you.

“What was that?” Adler asked, cocking his head only for Sims and Singer to shake their heads animatedly. Adler hummed doubtfully but dropped it.

“Never mind that! Just—“ You groaned, putting your head on your hands as you still held the can of fruit cake. “You think I can eat this shitty cake? The ‘raisins’,” you said the word doubtfully, “could be actual pieces of shit for all I know. It could explain the taste. And how hard it can be.”

Singer and Sims snorted next to you, on both sides while Larson actually cracked a grin as you raised your head and told them strongly to think about it! Adler shook his head, watching the jungle periodically in the open spaces of the alcove which all of you did to be cautious but the fruit cake debacle must be solved.

You turned your eyes towards Sims, spotting his fruit cocktail. Only for his hand to block it.

“Nope.”

“Come on!” Sims shook his head, opening the can and eating the fruit cocktail and you scowled. “All of you are shitheads. Now I’m gonna have to eat this.”

“Damn straight you do,” Adler reaffirmed, stern yet you could spot he found your curse to all of them, him included, funny based on his arched brows. “No wasting MCI’s. You know the drill, Bell.”

You grunted unhappily at Adler, but you knew he was right. Which is why you wanted to trade in the first place. Food shouldn’t be wasted, no matter how heinous.

You took a spoonful after managing to cut into the hard cake, Sims laughing in your face and you could spot Larson keeping his smile at your disgruntled expression only for it to deepen when you took a bite.

You tried to distract yourself through bites by asking Adler how far away they were from their destination. Adler answering after they reach the next nearest foxhole which is two hours away, it will be another six till they reach where they need to be.

“Hue is a mess right now. With us additional reinforcements, we’re going to aim for stealth and go around and take out as much as we can.” Adler explained as they all attentively listened. They can’t mess up. “We’ve been able to give them a lot of damage last I heard, with one final push of us taking out some of them when they’re scrambling—we’ll consider the Battle of Hue a win. Of course, if there’s more than we can handle, we’ll stick to recon and head back around to tell command at the Hue MACV compound we have there.”

“And the civvies?” Larson asked.

“Don’t shoot ‘em.” Was all Adler said before they all moved to clean up and move on after you and Sims finished up.

You having to force to swallow and chew the cake and packing up the trash. They can’t leave anything else it can be used to track or find them.

Larson, Sims, and Singer were outside the alcove—waiting for you to finish as you smacked your lips as if that could take away the taste in your mouth as you grumbled. You moved to go out where Adler was as he stood by the opening to head out. You spotted something on the ground where he previously sat.

“You left something, sir,” you say, growing near to pick up the can. Huh, it’s not empty.

Adler turned his head over his shoulder, expression questioning.

“Whatcha mean, kid? That’s yours isn’t it?” You frowned, looking down at the can only for your eyes to widen. There was some pieces of pineapple left, a little less than half of the can gone but it’s something. He turned his head back as he muttered. “Don’t expect this to happen again. Not here to spoil you, Bell.”

“Don’t expect you to, sir.”

“Just pick up the trash and move it, kid.”

You grinned, knocking back the can and easily and quickly eating it. The juices spilling down your chin and neck but you didn’t care as you licked your lips. The taste of disgusting shit cake gone.

You packed the can quickly, swiping your chin with the back of your hand as the both of you walked to where the others were.

“Thanks,” you said to him softly.

“For telling you to pick up your trash?” Adler answered easily and you smiled knowingly but let it go.

Such a hard ass.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▷ ▷ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

The car ride was silent, passing street lights and empty cafe’s whizzing by and enlightening the car for a mere moment before it would be enveloped in darkness once more until the next light comes. You were staring out the window as they passed the streets of Berlin, the sounds of the wiper periodically occurring due to the light rain occurring. Not many people out at this time of night, nearing midnight unless you were a working girl or at the local bar. Some wisps of smoke remained in the car despite Adler on his side having his window slightly open. Your eyes watching as it moved lazily and glancing towards the quiet, relaxed man next to you before you would turn to look back out. Curious to see more of the city besides in the backstreets and being stealthy.

You didn’t see much last night after Volkov, you falling asleep in the car as Park drove you. You were too out of it when they arrived at the hotel, just absentmindedly listening and nodding along to Park’s directions and promptly knocking out once you reached your room on the bed. Only to awake once more at the alarm you or someone else must’ve set early in the morning.

You were focusing on that instead of the last time you were in the car with Adler.

“You’ll like where we’re going. Trust me.”

You took a sneaky glance towards the man once more, just as the man exhaled out a cloud of smoke that you watched. Enraptured in how it moved to and fro lithely, easily as your nose took in the smell before you glanced back at Adler, the side facing you being his ‘good’ side.

You wonder once more of his scar that accentuated this man’s beauty—all harsh lines that created a map that even now you wish to trace. For someone like this to earn the title America’s Monster, all styled wheat hair, suede shades, and an easy, wry tone—it should at least match the title.

Than again, you thought with faltering wax wings and of another—the fall of a devil with none. It was never about his looks was it?

“It’s a small price to pay.”

What does that make you?

“Alright, kid,” he says, taking out of your stupor as you stared fully at the man now. Smoke releasing out his mouth as he spoke, making you lower your gaze to it. “I’ll bite. What do you want to ask me? Must be a juicy question since you keep burning holes to the side of my face.”

Embarrassment colored your face, caught, as you quickly adjusted your gaze to straight ahead and instead watching raindrops going down the windshield.

“It’s nothing.”

“Mmm. For some reason, I can’t believe that. What did I say before?”

You said a lot of things before, you thought with a sad frown. But you knew what he was referring to. Always wants to be the one you tell all your worries and concerns to. Before, you thought it was genuine. Now, you just see it as how it was—a cloak to observe and make sure if your true real memories came or if they needed to give you a dose.

“Your scar,” you began as he tilted his head towards you, hair moving as he did so as he kept his one hand casually to the wheel while the other was leaning against his door. You didn’t get distracted by it. “How’d you get it? There’s a story there.”

“Scar?” He asked in false confusion, still stoic outside of a cocked brow and making your lips twitch up despite yourself. Before motioning with his cigarette hand towards his face. “You mean this? Is it noticeable?” At your unamused huff though your nose, he continued. “Back in ‘73, I was nearly killed by a tiger while on a mission in Malaysia. But human ingenuity still runs the animal kingdom.” He turned his head towards you when they reached a light, his brows rising above his glasses. “You ever been attacked by a tiger, Bell?”

You stared at him in disbelief before releasing a surprised snort. The nerve of this man.

“You’re lying. That’s not from a tiger, it would be worse than that. You and your need to tell stories. . .” You mumbled the last part, you don’t think he heard that.

“Didn’t know you were an expert on tigers, Bell. Got a degree in zoology under your belt that I don’t know about? What makes you think I’m lying?”

“Because—“ That’s not what you said last time. You stopped, a realization going through you. Because of course he’ll lie to you about this too. Worse kind of crowd, your ass. “If you got that from a tiger than I must be a distant cousin of Joseph Stalin.”

“That unbelievable, huh?” He said more than asked, amused at your sarcasm as you looked at him with crossed arms as the car moved once more. “Fine. I’ll give. I jumped on a roof in Calcutta back in ‘75 while chasing a Soviet agent. The jump was successful . . . the landing not so much. Advice: always know where the utility poles are.” At your deadpanned look when he glanced at you, his lips quirked into a humored smirk. “That one didn’t hit the mark for you either? Was it the jump?”

You shook your head, a small groan leaving your lips as you leaned your head against the dashboard.

“Anybody who’s anybody can jump from roof to roof,” you replied, staring at your leather boots—forehead pressed against the dashboard and maintains it there even as they turned or there was a bump. “You know that. Just like you know a utility pole would’ve either choked you or electrocuted you. At least with electrocution it’d be more scars throughout instead of that part of your face.”

“Watch the cockiness, kid.” He reprimanded but than, “You’re right though. Roof jumps the standard when it comes to our work. But you’re really confident that I don’t have any other scars throughout the rest of me. Know something I don’t?” Your eyes darted towards him, wide and as they passed a street light, you noticed he was peering down at you in turn. Your skin burned as you looked away and mumbled no while staring at your very interesting shoes. The man hummed. “How about this. You know what they say about kids falling in with a bad crowd? Let’s just say I fell in with the worst part of a bad crowd. The girl wasn’t worth it, believe me.”

At your silence, he glanced at you.

“What? That’s the one you believe?” You gave a small shrug. When he first told you that, you didn’t ask any more questions. It sounded personal the way he said it. Truthful. Adler always lies. “What makes this one believable? The lack of a specific date or are you a sucker for romance, Bell?”

You threw him a meaningful look up at him. Not feeling the need to say anything. At his arched brow though, you opened your mouth.

“Your ex-wife.”  His brow flattened at that. Something shifting in the air. “Was she worth it?”

A beat. A passing of street lights. The pitter patter of rain against the car.

“A romantic than. . .Never saw you as the type.” At your probing stare and his silence, you turned away. Seeing he won’t answer—too private. You’re a fool to even think he will say the truth at all. “Once.” You blinked, turning your eyes back up and lifting your head in attention as America’s Monster—a secret, a peek through the shades, a hint of something real besides the cold, black abyss, what are you Russell Adler—spoke ever so softly. A sardonic turn of chapped lips. “You can say we had a difference of opinion. Not much to it.”

There was more but you will take what you can get.

You thought of the memories you had, of friends you once believed were your own. Of little moments in beaches and camps and villages when all was calm and not chaotic with smell of burnt bodies or blood or how it feels to stab a bayonet through someone’s chest in defense. You could see them as clearly as any other memory you had. And feel it.

You thought of the poor soldier leaving a war only to get into another one in his home country.

“Larson. . .” you murmured, Adler hearing as he released a dry chuckle.

“Sort of like Larson. The poor bastard.” You watched him take a deep inhale, the cigarette almost a near stub. And you realize when that happens, he’s stressed. As stressed as a man like him could be. You’ve seen him in many moments in Vietnam. Not always the best. You wonder if that was another reason for your death. Adler exhaled a puff before having to throw the cigarette out the window with a flick, putting the window all the way up. “I don’t see why you’re so interested either way. Scars aren’t that impressive. Unless you always had a habit about asking for one’s ugly mug.”

You darted up at his eyes, shaded as they were, trying to sense if he was being serious.

Because he couldn’t be.

Not this man, with strikes of lightning upon his face as if Zeus did it himself. All power. Grace. Strength. Different from your barely functioning wax wings as you struggle to fly. Only able to watch and hope a falling demon crashes to its death—all harsh and slow.

What are you, Russell Adler?

Perhaps he is Zeus himself.

Perhaps how Adler got his scar was harsh retribution to control lightning, his scars even mimic those powerful strikes across his face. All strength. And all beauty. Those who survived struck by lightning always have the most beautiful marks upon their skin indicating their survival—you are selfishly bias though. Even now, you admit with self-loathing. The rougher marks on his face is all grace and you could wonder how he truly got it instead of fantasizing him as a God Of Lightning who mistook his own power upon his face.

It would only make sense. Both beautiful men, although you’ve never met the Greek God.

They both also have a habit of hurting women.

He’s all of that, while you could only hope with your squeaky levers and ropes and feathered wax can go up to said Mount Olympus where he was. A naïveté where you think you’re close with tired and sore arms only to be burnt away. A free fall down to the abyss.

Good pups stay in their place.

“You’re joking.” You accuse seriously as you stared up at him, your head against the dashboard but tilted slightly in his direction.

Adler tilted his head down slightly to stare down at you, a brow arched at your look.

“About?”

You didn’t say anything.

Just meaningfully looked up at him through your lashes, staring at his jaw that was strong as if Michaelengelo carefully carved it himself with minute details with his trusted mallet and chisel until dawn with a candle on his head due to determined ingenuity. Observing how the collar of his shirt did not do a good job in hiding his neck, his favorite jacket failing in that too so you could take it in. Not one strand was mussed or out of place on his head, all volume and thickness as your gloved hand twitched by your knee.

You than met the shades, in turn meeting his eyes as your heart seemed to pound as he stared down at you back. A look passing through his eyes too quick for you to catch, besides what you saw in your peripherals. The hand on the wheel tightening an iota as the air shifted to something heavier, blood pumping as your mind thought of reasons as to why which you pushed away. Impossible.

You licked your dry lips nervously, Adler’s expression seeming to tense when his eyes followed the action. You turned away, looking back down except to play with the ends of your gloves, neck hot and spreading.

You still felt his stare before he focused back onto the road.

They didn’t speak the rest of the ride.

Foolish dog should mind their eyes.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▷ ▷ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You couldn’t sleep much when you reached your room, another floor to Adler’s and near Park’s, and not just due to how you were more one with the night.

You opened Pandora’s Box—something forbidden coming out into the world as you thought back to the meaningful stare between you and Adler in the car. That even the thought makes your heart pound once more. Your brain further muddling and melting away the more you spend time alone with that man. Whether in being caught in his pace or just the mere thought of what he’s done.

Although, you suppose you already opened a Pandora’s Box. Possibly even darker than the one you discovered.

If the monster in man’s skin was Zeus—he created the box in the first place. Except he wished to hide it from you and keep you willfully ignorant instead of tease you to release envy and greed and disease out in the world. You managed to open it—and it was none of those things, it was cruel and inhumane to you all the same.

Take this needle and follow the story, do the trick.

If only that box stayed close.

Zeus always did like to confuse.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ◁ �� ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You let out a heavy sigh, hand mussing your hair harshly as you chewed your lips, staring at the paper on the center table of the safehouse.

“Having trouble?”

You slightly jumped as Adler, who was quiet in the seat across and to the side of you, spoke. Looking mildly curious at all the papers on your side of the table before taking a small puff. You sighed, looking back down at the paper in slight frustration.

“Just a little. Whoever made this code created a difficult to encrypt language. I have some of the numbers though already, it’s just the rest. I’ve never seen such an elaborate one before. . .” You said in thought as you tapped your pen against the paper. “I have to say, it’s impressive.”

Adler hummed idly, taking note of your words.

“Perhaps you need a sort of incentive.”

You moved your eyes up in confusion, wondering what that could mean. Only to stop once you noticed what was in his opposite hand not holding his precious cigarette.

It was a picture—a polaroid specifically. But not just any one. You stared at your oldest friend in the picture, taken on the rooftops in East Berlin, his face tilted down and a level of focus and calm as he stared down below in his crouched position. The lights behind him giving him an ethereal glow, a mix of white, red, and blue as those shades on his face gave a little glint due to it.

You reached a hand to see it better only for Adler to click his tongue, taking the picture back closer to him with a shake of his head.

“Sorry, kid. Can’t exactly be incentive if I gave it to you easily like that. You seem eager though.” Adler arched a brow at you. “Any reason as to why?”

Your cheeks prickle as you cursed in your mind. Why didn’t you get the film from the red room or Park yourself? You thought of a T.V. turning on it’s own, flashbacks to what happened in Vietnam on the screen, the memory sobering you up. You still. . .haven’t told Adler about that. He’ll call you soft and put you solely in the safehouse with no more field missions. You hate his disappointment. Still though, you recall you were determined to get it. A quick in and out but than. . . something? Something. . . happened?

At your brows furrowing deeply, Adler’s own brows furrowed and you answered his silent question as you touched your head.

“Sorry. . . That coma I woke up from still has done a number on me.”

“You did get shot twice, Bell. You have issues with always trying to push me out the way, even back in ‘Nam.” You smiled at his tease. You did have a protective streak. But only for certain people—even if you knew Adler could handle himself, you would do what you must for him if he told you an order. Or even go against it if it involved him doing something stupid like a sacrificial mission. You’d follow him anywhere. “Don’t think too much on it. I’m sure the rest of your memories will come back soon enough.  Just remember in the end that mission was a success.”

“Whatever it takes, sir.” You said, a phrase that he spoke often back in the war. Which you would repeat. You would always do what you must.

Adler’s expression shadowed as he nodded once.

“Whatever it takes,” he glanced at the polaroid in his hand, it facing him as he seemed to stare in thought before turning his gaze towards you. Your expression curious as you wondered what he was thinking before he turned the picture back towards you, brow up inquisitively. “Well, Bell? Don’t think you’re going to dodge the question as to why you want this? I went through a bit of trouble to let Park let me have it. She’s stubborn when she wants to be.”

You slightly scowled at him, feeling the blush once more.

You hated when he did that blasted rhyme!

You also had a sense there was more to him asking Park but you were too busy trying to defend yourself. Not think about their daily quiet pissing match.

“I like taking pictures. It’s an art form. Every artist would like to have their own paintings,” you said, tone even and you wanted to pat yourself in the back for that.

Adler rose both his brows now.

“Really?” The way he said it made it seem he doubted you. “Not a photographer. Was never really interested in art either so maybe that’s why I can’t relate. Still. It’s a good picture, my good side and all. Can see why you would want it.”

You restrained yourself from saying what you wanted like last time. That basically you would want that picture even if it was on his scarred side.

“It had good lighting.” You added as Adler stared at his picture, cigarette being held in his lips. He turned back towards you, glasses slightly falling from his nose and you could see a hint of his eyes. A tease. You stared. His lips curved around the cigarrette, amused and indulging. You panicked. “I-It does!”

“I didn’t say anything. But say, the sooner you finish that code, the sooner you can have this—“ he paused, waving the hand with the polaroid”—piece of art of yours. Never thought I would say that but I guess there’s a first for everything.” He pocketed the picture back in his jacket, blowing his smoke away from you before he stood up and headed towards Sims only to add over his shoulder, “I’ll leave you to it. I know you got this.”

You stared as he walked over, the belief he had in you with those words moving around in your brain. You moved back to work, pointedly ignoring Lazar’s whistle—him able to hear some of what occurred no doubt. You threw him an impolite gesture that only made the man laugh as you focused on the code. It took you three tiring and near sleepless nights, but you finished. Adler handing you the photo in between his fingers as you took it gently, trying not to crinkle the photo further as Adler watched you behind his shades as you held the photo, taking a thoughtful inhale of his cigarette before looking away. Looking around their surroundings outside the safehouse. Their break time spot.

“You sure got talent, kid.”

“You should know by now to not doubt me, Russ,” you replied, your eyes still on the photo between your gloved hands. “Only the best of the best with you. Just took me longer than I thought.”

“Watch that confidence doesn’t blind you one day, Bell.”

“You first.”

He chuckled at that, breathless and surprised making you stare up with wide eyes. The sound rare. Adler tapped the end of his cigarette, ash going on the ground as he stared towards the doors of the safehouse, an echo of a smile on his face. Barely there. Others wouldn’t see it, but you’ve known Adler for years.

“You got guts. And spunk. Met my match with you it seems, kid. You know me too well. . .” Adler took a puff, deep as he trailed off, shades dark.

“That’s not a bad thing,” you say, lowering the photo in your hand. “Sims does too. Can’t exactly get rid of us that easy.”

“Sims has been through many missions with me, but not as much as you.” Adler explained calmly. “Some of those, I’m taking to my grave. If I breathe a word about it, I’ll have a bunch of people up my ass.”

You sense as if this was like a conversation from years ago, on a beach. Quiet and away from everyone in the camp, just the two of you talking about realities and soldiers. You think about that memory a lot.

You recall some of the memories he’s referring to.

You half shrugged, pocketing the photo in your bomber jacket as you leaned against the wall of the safehouse.

“What can you do? It was necessary. Besides, I can’t exactly tell anyone else either, Adler. Brutality is sometimes necessary. That’s all I know.” You paused, tilting your head and throwing a teasing smirk his way to get him out this weird mood. “Don’t tell me America’s Monster actually cares what other people say?”

Adler deeply exhaled in exasperation, smoke coming out his nose.

“Don’t tease me, Bell. You know I can’t give a shit.”

“Than what’s the problem? You do what needs to be done. Make the tough calls. You know. . . you know I understand right?” You asked carefully. “I’m with you when it comes to doing what we must. To protect what we need to.”

Adler was silent. He never answered.

You didn’t push him. Didn’t feel the need.

You understood him the best.

Only monsters can see one another, after all.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▌▌✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Monsters, you’ve come to know, are also a certain kind of creature that takes what they need.

To want. Selfish and uncaring and you should be concerned at how easily you take in those traits.

Too busy to worry about regular people—the mundane. There are bigger things to be focused on than other’s opinions on what actions are necessary.

You and Adler can give not one fuck about others. They know what they are and will accept the titles from others with a nod.

What you’re coming to find however, that even with monsters, there’s different breeds.

You basically reiterated to him that what he did with you was necessary. Needed. Sound brutality at its finest. You feel like you can’t even argue.

What is better—loyalty to a country or to people?

You’re trapped.

.

.

.

I have a problem. This story is going to be long when it was supposed to be short. Oh well. 

Also, hot take maybe, I love both Soft!Adler and Dark!Adler so let’s just have both sides of him shall we? Wait…is Adler truly soft here? Who knows.

DM me if you wish to be tagged please. ^////^

Tags:

@quizzyisdone @zulema117-blog @efingart  @pinkpinkboota @nuclear-boston @lifeisthemoments @jintana-critical @eclectriccanoeseven @hurricanesyd-blog @parkeepingparker @moonchild365-blog @aurora-windu @imperfectophelia @dvesinthewind @holy-crap-i-am-russlle-adler @i-will-give-you-love @adlerboi @preciouslilcreature @saynotohydra @mayaibnlaahad @smokeywhalee @0shuni0-blog @multi-fandom-imagine @littlepotatowizard  @direwolfspostsrandomshit @darlingor @collinnmckinley @kayalect @nikkibell1937 @fuzzybonkeggsopera @ppfedd @bro0kebxrter @actuallyilya @stayb1ack @frankwoodsmalewife @tr1ppylady @danjer

[wannabegwenstacy]

Eden's Favorite Fic's (BTS Fic Recs)

Updated Version: Here!

Note: In the past I haven't indulged in tumblr fics often but I recently (past 3 months) have been reading quite regularly & am planning on branching out a bit. To keep track of the ones that I have enjoyed & the ones that I have even came back to I'm making this list. Again, I haven't been digging into the tumblr fics world for long so for right now its a very short list. I'm hoping with time I can get more fics of different types on here (btsxbts, some gender neutral xreader ones, & more ones that I genuinely like)

About me to understand what's going to be on here:

Age: 21 (99' liner)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Ult Bias: Yoongi

Trio: Rap Line

I am OT7. I do enjoy smut but don't think it is necessary to FF. Overall I just want a well-crafted plot that makes sense. I read for entertainment & to escape. But I still need some form of realism (just me personally) to follow the trail of events. PSA: I'm trying to find a broader scope of writers I like but for right now I don't have many. There are gonna be some repetitive writers for now.

______________________________________________________________

Kim Namjoon:

- Librarian Namjoon Universe by @jungshookz

Beauty & the Bookworm (I love this concept SO MUCH)

Pairing: Cute, Good Boy, Nerdy, University Librarian Namjoon x Bratty, Semi-Popular, Procrastinator, University Student Reader

Word count: 20.8k

Summary: You're a procrastinator big time and you may or may not be failing. To get some extra credit you begrudgingly take the library assistant opening where you work under strict dorky Namjoon. Passive aggressiveness, cuteness, fluff, & some smuttiness arises.

Jealous-Boyfriend-Librarian Namjoon (Drabble)

Pairing: Jealous Boyfriend Librarian Namjoon x Oblivious Cute Girlfriend Uni Student Reader

Word count: 3.4k

Summary: You take an Art History Course and end up needing a tutor. Joon offers to tutor you but he doesn't know shit about Art History so you end up getting tutored by an ArtHoe Taehyung that may or may not like you but you are oblivious to this and Joon gets super jealous.

Kim Seokjin:

- Hockey Player Jin by @ve1vetyoongi

HEART OF GOLD (BLADES OF ICE)

Pairing: Sweet Hot New Hockey Player in Town Jin x Ex-Figure Skater (who has a history with jin) Reader

Word count: 20k

Summary: After a fall during figure skating practice dashes your dreams of competing at nationals, you vow to hang up your skates for good. That is until you cross paths with Kim Seokjin, captain of the ice hockey team, who is determined to get you back out on the rink and melt the ice in your heart. (Jimin is a bully in this and their other k-pop idols as characters. Very Very Fluffy and Hallmark Christmas Movie-ish so be aware of that. Overall, it's just cute :) )

Min Yoongi:

Note: these are all but one by the same writer @jungshookz & are written from the pov of a female reader. I'm gonna try to find some gender-neutral fics but for now, if you are female-identifying I really enjoyed these! :)

- Mechanic Yoongi Universe by @jungshookz

Baby, You Can Drive My Car (My favorite AU Fics I've read so far on Tumblr!!)

Pairing: Tatted, Mic Drop Era, Mechanic Min Yoongi x Spoiled Rich, Inexperienced, University Student Reader

Word count: 24.6k

Summary: Welcome to Min Mechanics - What can I do for you today, doll?

Maybe She Can Drive His Car

Pairing: Oblivious, Hot, Boyfriend, Mechanic Min Yoongi x Adorable, Spoiled, University Student, Jealous Girlfriend Reader

Word count: 11.6k

Summary: Yoongi's ex is back in town for a visit and you would be lying if you said you weren't slightly envious of a) how knowledgeable she is about stupid cars and b) how well she gets along with literally everyone.

- Uni Yoongi x Nerdy Reader (mini series) by @jungshookz

Note: these are all drabbles I'm gonna link my favorites in the series. I'll probably add more later.

Cocky Uni Student Yoongi x Nerdy Reader:

^^This is the start of the mini-series, recommend you read it first!^^

The One with the Scrunchie:

Contains: smut, a super cute scrunchie turning into a kink of sorts, slightly insecure Yoongi, experienced Yoongi, slightly inexperienced reader, shy about their own body reader.

Yoongi always had an Overactive Imagination:

Contains: talking about sex, implied smut, reader trying to be productive while also being horny, Yoongi being super distracted and horny.

"I'm gonna need you to shut up now please"

- CEO Yoongi Universe by @jungshookz

Suit&Tie (First Fic in the series)

Pairing: CEO Min Yoongi x Secretary Reader

Wordcount: 21k+

Summary: Young Intimidating Hot CEO Yoongi, Clumsy Secretary Y/N who loves Sugar, Best Friend Jimin. Funny Awkward Meeting that sets up the whole plot, was like reading a Kdrama in book form.

The One Where Augst D makes a Comeback (Favorite Fic in the series)

SPOILERS READ PRIOR DRABBLES TO CATCH UP!! (I recommend The First Date, The One Where Yoongi is Just a Little Jealous, The Proposal, The Wedding, Baby Makes Three, Baby Min's Timeline, The Birth of Baby Min, Daddy's Little Girl, Who the Hell is Augst D.

Pairing: CEO Min Yoongi x Secretary Reader

Word count: 6.5k

Summary: Yoongi finds out you faked an orgasm and he's going to gi-give it to you more ways than one.

- Demon Yoongi by @jungshookz

Hellish (I got some feelings for incubus Yoongi not gonna lie)

Pairing: Bratty, Super Sexy, Sex Demon, Mint Min Yoongi x University Student, Non-Supernatural Believer Reader

Word count: 22.1k

Summary: Jungkook is your clueless, energetic best friend. Wonho is a character in this fic, You are dragged into summoning a demon one night by your overly excited to be summoning a demon? best friend Jungkook. Spooky but Kind of Sexy Shit Happens! (This is probably my second favorite Yoongi Fic I've read!)

- Basketball Captain Yoongi by @jungshookz

Basketball Captain Yoongi

Pairing: Cocky, Popular, Charming Captain of the Basketball Team Min Yoongi x Water girl University Student Reader (who has been crushing on Yoongi hard for some time)

Word count: 18.4k

Summary: Jungkook is your athletic bro of a best friend that signs you up to be his replacement as the water boy (girl in this case) after he makes the team. You have had a pathetic schoolgirl crush on Yoongi for a while and is basically the only reason you agreed to be the water girl aside from spending time with Jungkook. It's fluffy & smutty!

- Android Yoongi @jungshookz

Technologically in love (..I cried! but I also smiled a lot so you know this is well written)

Pairing: Personal Assistant Prototype but SUPER Lifelike Android Min Yoongi x Messy, Junkfood, & Cartoons Loving Reader (basically your early 20s living alone kind of vibe)

Word count: 24k+

Summary: You live in a Detroit Becoming Human type universe but prior to a lot of the advancements. Androids are already a thing but not to the level the M1N Y00NG1 is yet. You are best friends with all the boys and they happen to be engineers which is how you ended up with Yoongi in the first place. Namjoon created Yoongi as a personal assistant prototype android & you are told to live with him. Things get fluffy, SUPER ANGSTY, and super smutty!

- Listen Closely by @avveh

Listen Closely ( sexiest Yoongi fic I have read so far, I kept wanting to go back and read again)

Pairing: Tsundere Office Worker Min Yoongi x Hardworking Office Worker Reader

Word count: 12.2k

Summary: Unintentionally, you stumble upon something that makes you view your coworker Min Yoongi in a whole new light. (SMUT 18+: Masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, breathplay, spanking, degrading names.)

Jung Hoseok:

- Secret Boyfriend Hoseok by @kpopfanfictrash

Keeping a Secret (this took me places...Idk about you but I have trouble finding really good Hoseok fics and this one was perfect. One of my favorite fics on this website)

Pairing: New Relationship Dom Hoseok x New Relationship Tease Reader

Word count: 3.7k

Summary: You and Hoseok have been hooking up for a few weeks now. No one in your friend group knows. What happens then, when he shows up at movie night looking better than anticipated? SMUT!

- Studio Sex Hoseok by @joonbird

Studio:

Pairing: Boyfriend BTS Hoseok x Girlfriend Reader

Word Count: 5k

Summary: Hoseok is stressed about his upcoming mixtape, so you decide to swing by his studio and help him relax. (Hobi being the beautiful glorious sexy man he is and putting those ungodly hips to use!)

Park Jimin:

- Jimin and His Pregnancy Kink by @boymeetsweevil

ME, YOU, AND THIS THING WE HAVE BETWEEN US (NSFW)

Pairing: Sweet Caring Domestic but Horny Jimin x Pregnant Hormonal Reader

Word count:~3.7k

Warnings (aka what to prepare for): everything is graphic and gross lmao, blowjobs (face f*cking), boob job (not the one w/ silicon inserts), cunnilingus, dom!jimin if u squint, cumplay if u squint again, dirty talk/degrading language, penetrative sex (doggy style), unprotected sex, PREGNANCY KINK that’s a big one

Summary: You’re pregnant and Jimin is…happy about it (If I remember correctly this one is 25% cute domestic Jimin trying to calm his hormonal pregnant partner and 75% pure filth aka Jimin having a pregnancy kink and trying to hide it but not well at all. This is however my ultimate fav Jimin smut I have ever read!)

- Crush/Neighbor Jimin by @sketchguk

Lover to Lean On: (I absolutely adore this fic. Overall it's just really well written and I felt like I was watching a show in my head rather than reading a short Tumblr fic. Highly recommend it!)

Pairing: Cute Customer & Neighbor Jimin x Florist Reader

Word Count: 19.9k

Summary: For months, you can hear your no-face neighbor and his ‘girlfriend’ singing and dancing and laughing and falling in love. Above all, you can hear their bed banging against your shared wall, and they won’t ever let you sleep. You’d much rather stay up at night worrying about your own problems, like the weight of an unrequited crush, so of course, you’re bitterly single. But one day, the apartment is radio silent. And one day slowly turns into one week and then into an immeasurable amount of time since you’ve heard his laugh. So on Valentine’s Day, when you’re missing it the most, you beg your neighbor to open up to you with cookies in one hand and two broken hearts in the other.

Kim Taehyung:

-Roommate Taehyung Universe by @jungshookz

Stuck with You

Pairing: Frat Bro bit of an asshole Roommate Kim Taehyung x Clean Organized bit of a Pushover Reader

Word count: 37k

Summary: Kim Taehyung becoming your new roommate is definitely up there on the list of the worst things to ever happen to you. Librarian Namjoon is your Best friend and ex-roommate. Frat bro Jeon Jungkook makes an appearance. There is so smut and implied smut.

The One with the One Year Anniversary (Drabble)

Pairing: The cutest domestic boyfriend Kim Taehyung x girlfriend reader

Word count: 4.6k

Summary: NO SPOILERS! so I'm going to give you a quote: "well, um, look! I made breakfast for you. f-for us!" Also, SFW

Jeon Jungkook:

- Gamer Jungkook by @softyoongiionly

PRESS START (this is the cutest fucking smut type fic I have ever read! it is so pure and is the exact type of relationship I want! IT MADE ME SIMP SO HARD!) gender-neutral I believe!

Pairing: Night owl Gamer Domestic Boyfriend Jeon Jungkook x Witty Domestic Cutesy Relationship Reader

Word count: 5.5k

Summary: A night in with your boyfriend Jungkook includes all kinds of things: anime, witty banter, snacks from 7-Eleven and, you know, sex. (GREAT READ!! I AM A SIMP FOR THIS FIC!!)

[fukurodanni]

love for the rich and emotionally stunted: a comprehensive guide

ch. 2/7 -- prev. -- next. pairing: jumin han x f!reader warnings: n/a series summary: in the months following the incident with his father's most recent paramour, glam choi, the corporate heir of C&R finds himself discovering exactly what it is that makes a person in love so blind. ao3 link

note: sticking a read more right at the beginning. u kno how it is. thank you for sticking around i'll try my best to keep updates within a week or so!

(weeks prior.)

Jumin Han has entered the chatroom.

Jumin Han

She talked to me today.

ZEN

??

Who?

707

She??

There’s a she?!

Jumin Han

Oh.

I must have neglected to mention it.

ZEN

????

Last time there was a “she”...

Jumin Han

… No.

There’s a woman at my office.

Jaehee Kang

Does she work for you?

Jumin Han

Yes

707

That took an awfully long time for you to type lolol

Are you sure~~

Jumin Han

Yes. She wears a lanyard.

Jaehee Kang

Do you not know her name??

Jumin Han

I should think it would seem impolite after… all that.

Jaehee Kang

???

ZEN

?????

All that WHAT?

Jumin Han

I only caught a glimpse of her lanyard. I don’t know.

ZEN

Dodged my question… T_T

Jaehee Kang

Is this that woman you see in the mornings?

Jumin Han

How did you ....

ZEN

?!?!

707

Is our Jumin finally getting some?!

I’m so proud. Haha T_T

Jumin Han

Getting some… what?

Jaehee Kang

I can look into her.

For research purposes. Of course^^

Jumin Han

;;;

I only just started seeing her this month.

At the door. Seeing her at the door.

707

Seeing her OTL

Maybe she’s your future lover come to save you^^

Jumin Han

I doubt that.

ZEN

Yeah lolol

I doubt it too

And right after the Choi thing?? No way.

707

T_T

Ur right

There’s no way...

-

“Do you play video games, Mr Han?”

That’s a new one. “Where would I find the time?” He asks, thinking of Yoosung. “It’s a useless hobby.”

“That was a quick answer,” you reply. “Who hurt you?”

Jumin raises a brow, inquisitive. “No one.”

“Okay,” you say, the beginnings of a grin playing on your lips. “Who ruined video games for you?”

He thinks of the dark smudges under Yoosung’s eyes, the awful typos and the messages at 3am. It’s only a little funny. The door closes behind them. “No one in particular.”

“You’re smiling, Mr Han. Just a little.” You smile too at this, tilting your head in that curious way of yours. When you reach the lobby and then your separate ways, Jumin spares a glance at you.

He wants to say something more, something lodged very deep in his throat that comes out dry breath. He’s never been too good at small-talk, not with colleagues, not with business outside of work. He wants to be, just a little.

He’s not quite sure how that came to be.

-

It’s beyond embarrassing the way he comes up to you in the cafeteria. “You work here,” he says, a very belated realization.

You blink a few times, as if processing. “Yes,” you say slowly. “I have a lanyard.” You wave the offending item around and Jumin finally, finally catches a glimpse of your name.

“I see,” Jumin says, because that’s all he really can say. “Work hard.”

He consults his phone right away, willing the heat from his face and opening the messenger app. It goes as well as expected when he mentions it so vaguely-- Hyun rags on him for his lack of conversational skills and Yoosung drops a line or two about his own miserable love life. In any case, Assistant Kang’s information on you had only reached him earlier today and in a way he’s still coping. It had been baffling to say the least, finally having everything in front of him rather than scattered in the bits and pieces of your dialogue.

You work, technically, in the same position Assistant Kang does. Only in the fashion department, of which Jumin had strategically ignored after Echo Girl and the Chois. It really isn’t his fault he hadn’t noticed you-- not since before this month when you began arriving so consistently.

“Something on your mind?” Assistant Kang asks, looking up from where she’s shuffling through a stack of papers. It isn’t unusual for her to break the silence with a quip-- she’s always been good at easing into a mode of conversation that takes the edge off. As a good assistant and employee should, of course. Jumin wonders if he should relay this to her.

“Nothing,” he says instead, because surely she already knows. “Is it polite to bring gifts for someone you’re sure you will be seeing every morning?”

She raises a thin brow. “Who-- that woman at the fashion department?”

Jumin deigns not to answer right away, looking down at the state of his nails and the tick of his wristwatch. “Surely there must be some etiquette about that.”

-

Jaehee Kang

Buy her coffee.

ZEN

Get her a promotion lol

707

A new car!!!

Yoosung★

Maybr a nicce pen

??

-

“Any favorite TV shows?” You ask one morning. “Personally, I’m fond of office romances.”

Jumin lags for a moment, waiting to catch up. It isn’t an unusual occurrence. “Is that an innuendo?”

You smile, a little flushed-looking, and wave a hand. “Nope. Not at all.” When you look at the second coffee in his hand, though, it seems you need a second to catch up yourself. You’d mentioned offhandedly how you take your coffee the day before, and today something had stopped him at the threshold of the coffee shop he stops at every morning. Funny how things work like that.

“This is for you,” he says determinedly, and you smile a little but there’s still an edge.

“You dodged my question.” You state simply. Jumin does not know what to say.

He thinks about it for a moment, really thinks about it. The only thing that really comes to mind are the Sunday morning programs, and he doesn’t really know them off the top of his head. Maybe the morning news. “No TV shows. Next question.”

“Okay then,” you say, “Any pet peeves?”

Jumin smiles a little. It isn’t really conscious, but he’s finally figured out a way to respond and he just hopes it takes well. “Women who stop me at the door in the morning.”

“Oh,” you say, taking a sip of your coffee. You hum appreciatively. He feels strangely, indirectly accomplished. “Shame. Mine’s men who give me three word responses when I ask them things.”

He scoffs, although it isn’t as hard as it usually comes out. “I answered that in a sentence.” He says, very assuredly. When he looks back at you there’s a softer smile at your lips, rounded at the corners and not quite so mischievous as he’s seen it look before. It looks fond.

“I know,” you reply. He feels a little warmer now, turning the corner where you two part ways. You offer him a two-fingered salute, a “See you in the morning!” and a final turn.

And then you’re gone.

-

The next time the conversation lingers long past the lobby it’s because you’ve coaxed him into talking about Elizabeth III. There’s a point where you’ve reached the elevator and he’s talking to you about her care routine and the minutiae of what it takes to keep her fur so soft and pristine (much of it is her own work and her natural beauty-- of course) and he’s only barely aware of how long he’s been going on, but he pauses to look at you. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting, between Jaehee’s hesitancy and Luciel’s rabid praise and Hyun’s outright disgust--

But there’s something about the way you’re looking at him when he’s finished, curiouser and half-curved into a smile. And he’s been on the receiving end of that before-- his father’s lovers, interviewers and subordinates-- but none of them have ever seemed so affectionate.

He’s seen the same look before when it’s Jaehee with a new photocard, the way Yoosung danced around Rika. It’s the glint in Luciel’s glasses when he gets to working and it’s something, something.

You look like you’ve seen something beautiful.

Which is understandable to him, really, having just shown you pictures of his Elizabeth III. What he understands less is the way you’re looking at him and not the open phone, caught up in a silence that seems way too heavy for a conversation about his cat. Even when the elevator dings it’s with some trepidation that you leave first, a memory, a discovery pulled taut between you two.

“I hope I get to meet her sometime,” you say.

Jumin nods, wordless. The delight on your face at such a simple gesture fixates itself in the forefront of his mind until he returns home to Elizabeth, flickering like hell and unbidden and unexpected but not exactly unwelcome. It’s just as confusing to him as it sounds on paper.

-

Somehow Jaehee gets to you first.

For all the time he’s spent working with Jaehee, working around her and in her general proximity, he doesn’t actually know what time she gets into the building. She seems like an inevitability, something constant and fixed and always there.

So when he holds the door open for two women, Jumin is feeling like he had seen something he wasn’t supposed to. Especially since the two of you seem to be chatting so jovially, shaking her hand with both of yours when you go to part.

There’s another something clogging his throat, a cloying want and a halfhearted desire to draw that same laugh from you, that same open brightness. He hasn’t let himself feel so much about one person-- one particular and fixed point in his life. Jumin feels like he’s chasing-- some feeling, some unnamed ball of fire-- a meteor, blazing and brilliant and too much to be real.

It’s too much to be compared to anything else, not when Sarah Choi was an unlit match next to what a beaming bonfire you are. Suddenly Jumin feels more tightly wound than he usually does.

And really, truly, it feels like a lot to handle, so he turns on his heel after silently handing you the coffee and begins to march. It feels like karmic debt for not having experienced these things as a schoolboy, and then only once as an adult. He doesn’t even know if the one time counted.

“Mr Han--” you say, and it happens at the same time he holds his breath to turn again. Just to look, to see if you appeared as off kilter as he felt. Maybe the world had rotated wrong today.

You stop there in your tracks and he really does believe for a moment that the world has gone astray-- because then it would explain the way air isn’t getting to his lungs right. He inhales just to make sure and before any other dialogue comes from your lips he asks, “Walk with me?”

You both take the elevator then.

-

Jaehee Kang

She’s a very nice woman.

Yoosung★

Huh?

707

U met her?!?!!

Tell me everything

-

It makes your mornings longer, the introduction of the elevator route. He isn’t sure how it became mutual agreement and routine, the same way the cup of coffee steams in your hands and the way you ask after Elizabeth III. The way the door gets held open.

Jumin isn’t sure how many mornings go by, how many of them are spent dreading the chime of the elevator, but one of them brings a much quieter you. And you’re usually such a whirlwind of life, pulling him toward and towards you-- he’d be lying to himself more than usual if he said he wasn’t worried.

You look like you’re steeling yourself too, and you’ve never done that-- there isn’t a thing you’ve said to him that was measured or prepared. You’re kind of like an overexcited puppy, and he’s never been too fond of dogs.

He feels something slide out of place, something like a realization that’s far grander than he knows, hovering at the tip of his tongue. He doesn’t know what it is yet, not really. He’s barely out of his head, ready to ask if you’re alright--

And you cut him off. Like you did that first morning, knocking the breath from his lungs and everything else out of place. Jumin likes things neat and tidy, likes things where they should be, where he’s used to seeing them. You aren’t too good for him, he thinks.

Then you ask, “Would you want to go out sometime?” And he has no reference materials and no forewarning and no prepared response. The odds are against him.

So against all odds and every simmering nerve in his body he says, “Yes.”

tags: @vandysgf @mrs-han

[hanazou]

Hi, could I request headcanons for chuuya with a s/o who loves giving genuine compliments whenever they see him, they just can't keep it inside for example whenever they see chuuya they go like"you are so beautiful" and some cheesy shit like that😩✋🏻

𝘾𝙝𝙪𝙪𝙮𝙖 𝙒𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝘼 𝙑𝙚𝙧𝙗𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝘼𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧

Word Count : 1.4K

Shelf : Hardback

Genre : Fluff, romance

Note : of course u can darling. smooches xx 💗 he needs it to help with his abandonment issues anyways <3 i hope u enjoy this one ! I still need to practice for Chuuya, I'm not fluent with him as I am with Dazai and Fyodor

There are three approaches to observe how Chuuya reacts and behaves around you; his initial feelings, his first physical reflex, and how he adapts with your behaviour.

Chuuya doesn’t fare well with verbal affection before you start doing this with him. Your frequent compliments will soon stretch his heart’s capacity to be more flexible in both accepting and giving heartfelt compliments, but of course, it has to start slowly.

At first, Chuuya is definitely perplexed and transparently flustered.

If your affections with him start with something subtle, like “I like today’s cologne” or “That was manly of you” Chuuya is still able to afford to mutter a tangled “Huh, thank you” albeit not looking at you in the eyes.

But when it gets more intimate like “Your presence is always so comforting” or “I can always trust you to have my back” and cheesy things like that…

The first thing Chuuya thinks of is why the hell you’re so intent on killing him with embarrassment.

“Why did you say that out of the blue?!”

But should there be a reason? Can’t you just be affectionate with your own boyfriend?

When you say that to him, he stops working.

If your compliments are really, super, cheesy, the type that sends shivers down the bone, Chuuya’s face is a mix of confusion, bewilderment, embarrassment, and slight repulse.

Don’t be offended though, he’s simply not good at taking compliments.

Chuuya wraps his upper arms as if he’s chilly while he stares at you, shocked and dumbfounded, with a face that’s the physical manifestation of “what the f*ck?”.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

If it keeps going on and on for days, he just hisses and clicks his tongue while hiding his red face

There's going to be a stage when he doesn't know what he's supposed to feel, so he’ll resort to convincing himself that he's angry.

It’s ineffective and he becomes more turbulent than ever

All it does is make his temperament easier to poke at, and that doesn’t help with his embarrassment every time you compliment him.

Chuuya raises his voice more often, especially at you, but it doesn't last for long because of how wrong it feels whenever he tells you to shut up.

And on the contrary, the more he thinks about it, your compliments actually make him feel… good?

Yeah, good

His physical reflex is pretty transparent and hysterical. It’s really easy to see right through him and it’s not like he tries to deceive you by faking his reactions either.

After flaring his nostrils and widening his eyes, Chuuya backs off to gather himself together and to get some space--are his ears tricking him or did you actually say his shouts sound nice? Who even thinks of things like that?

He shouts things like “Stop joking around!”

But despite sounding frustrated, the way his eyes crease with embarrassment betrays his ‘anger’.

The way he bites his lips, his blue eyes bulging out, while laboriously breathing loudly, makes you want to tease him more to get more dramatic reactions.

There’s that tiny look in his eyes that pierces into you as if he’s asking you to say more.

When he's at his Angry Stage, his voice is louder than usual and sounds just as fierce and he can never strike a casual conversation, let alone look at you in the eyes.

Best he can do is stare at the top of your head.

While blurting shorter sentences “angrily”

That's the sure sign that he's just embarrassed, in case you're afraid you offend him.

When Chuuya loosens up, which happens by itself without your intervention, you can tease him more and he hides his face under his hat. He growls away from you after snarling at you to stop.

No more pretending to be angry since all it does is confuse himself more.

What if you still shout “You look cute when you’re grumpy!” when he walks away?

He literally walks up a random building to get to the roof to escape.

This is a perfect game of hide and seek.

Nothing childish or straightforward like chasing each other, but Chuuya actively avoids you whenever he can.

He finds refuge in his personal office but alas, you have a spare key.

So he goes to Mori’s office without any prior summoning and tries to strike a conversation with him there, a not-so-smooth one, but discussing future deals with importers does keep Mori’s interest.

Since Mori doesn't like being interrupted, whenever Chuuya migrates to Mori, you're barricaded from seeing him. Not for long though. Just an hour at the most.

When he sees Kouyou, he pretends as if nothing is wrong although there’s no way she fails to notice his embarrassment.

Each time you find him and give more (cheesy) compliments, Chuuyal runs away, and you’ll find him again to tease him. A full circle

If you drive Chuuya to his absolute limit, he pins you against the wall, his gloved hand shutting your mouth. Nothing suggestive, just pure embarrassment and stress boiling out of his ears.

“Will you ever stop!? What do you want?!”

Being partnered with Dazai for several years makes him think that you’re being tricky with him even after you told him you mean nothing bad

When you confess that you really are being genuine, his mouth gapes and he backs off with an obviously embarrassed “Are you kidding me?!”

Eventually, little by little, he gets used to it.

His eyes won’t widen as dramatically anymore and he doesn’t jump away in embarrassment. The grumpiness is still there but it’s cuter than it is hostile.

He responds to your “Good morning, handsome!” by muttering “Yeah, yeah, whatever,”

Chuuya actually likes the attention but he realizes this only after he’s exposed to enough of your affections to get used to them a little, letting the overwhelming embarrassment recede slowly to leave enough space in his head (It happens after he covered your mouth).

He’s not the person to be most familiar with spoken affection after living a life full of uncertainties.

Exposure therapy vibes.

It actually feels nice to have you transparently tell him that you love him. Not that he’ll admit it straightforwardly though.

He gets used to your lovey-dovey treatment for him little by little. His reaction will be the same except it’s much more controlled and less out of reflex.

He previously 'ran' away, but this time, he simply puts a small distance between you both and covers his mouth, looking away.

He previously protested loudly, now he just softly snarls, embarrassment straining his voice.

“Geez, don’t you ever run out of those cheesy words? Where did you learn all that crap?”

When his skin has grown thicker, Chuuya sees each of your compliments as an invitation to a competition on who can make each other more flustered.

He keeps your compliments and affection, recycles them, and throws them back at you.

For example, if you say that he looks dashing under the sunlight today, he’ll double the intensity of the sweetness back at you.

(That is, after thinking carefully about what to say. He's not the best natural flirt)

“Because you’re the sun shining on me, babe. I won’t shine without you glamouring first.”

If you gape with your eyes bulging out and face reddened, Chuuya smirks in triumph.

“Huh, you’re not that bulletproof yourself, babe, think about that before shooting at me,”

If you have a high tolerance for verbal sweetness like this, even for super cheesy lines, he’s determined to kick it up a notch to earn a reaction out of you.

He’s going to be a sweet talker in training.

He does all of those out of the petty reason to get back at you, but sometimes he doesn’t realize what he says until it’s too late in which he flusters himself.

If even that doesn’t work, Chuuya gets physical.

He pulls your cheeks, pinches your nose, squeezes your face, flicks your forehead (and is serious about it), or pokes on your ticklish sides.

If he finds your weak spot, there’s no mercy.

You can laugh until you’re about to faint and he won’t stop messing with you

"How does it feel to be on the receiving end, huh?" He asks so casually cocky while tackling you down.

You don’t realize it, but even though Chuuya’s self esteem isn’t the lowest, it’s not the highest either. He’s just avoiding that topic. So your compliments, no matter how silly or random, makes him feel slightly better under his own skin.

One day, Chuuya will ask how you come up with those praises so easily

If he understands how you do it, maybe he can do the same for you in the future.

📜 ; like what you read? visit my bookshop!

[secretbangtnn]

summary : Getting a letter from a very prestigious school was something that you could have never expect, and even more unexpected was that you didn’t need to pay a penny for it. Beautiful news that were too good to be true, but oh how stupid you were to not question such a perfect chance to get away from your shitty life.

notes:

Guys i would be more than happy for some feedback, its my first time writing in english and im more than nervous. Im not sure if what i wrote is good or even understandable. + i would be more than happy to start an ask game with this book

Chapter one

Living or in your case existing was always somehow calm. Everything you do had a plan and everyday had the same pattern, like a boring vase that stood in the same kitchen you actually were. Blue marble tiles awfully similar to tears that run down the woman's cheeks, making them a little bit more redder than before.

Not that they weren't that color before, always blushy and ready to be seen. And maybe that's why you had that sour taste in your mouth while watching them, knowing that your own were as beautifully red as hers.

"why?" a simple question sounding now like the last call for help. Voice groggy and nose runny making the sight before even more unbearable to look at. But why weren't you moved, why the tears didn't make you guality like they should. "you planned this?! You planned to leave me alone like a selfish bastard!"

Looking down didn't seem like the best option, knowing that it could just take the nerves in the room to a whole new level but you could not stop yourself. She was always one to guilt trip you into everything.

A little shout left the chapped mouth making you jump a little while lifting your head simultaneously. Sight before you seems to worsen and as you took a step back the woman took another two in the end catching your small wrist in her clawed hand.

Hissing and looking dead in her eyes made you somehow more conscious of the whole situation.

“I didn’t know.” and you really did not. Gritting your teeth so hard that it felt like some of them could fall out at any moment seems to stop you from doing sudden movements.

Breathe in and breathe out.

“Of course you think I am stupid! Just like your father, bringing me to insanity step by step. But that’s what you wanted from the beginning, am I right?”

“Stop being delusional mom” Oh how hard it was to say the name of that woman. Mother of child that she forgets most of the time, only to remember at the most shitty time. Today was exactly one of the examples of why your dream was just to wake up not seeing or better not having to think of that woman.

“Am i now? It’s you who wants me like this.” She laughed, throwing her head back in the motion. Elegant column of her neck now easy to see, showing purple and red marks similar to those from claws. “You thought I would not know, you thought you could just run away like a scared little child. Now tell me, how long were you planning this o-or maybe it was your father’s plan from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know about it, I didn’t even apply to any of the schools and you are the one that should know that.” toxicity leaked from your voice in big streams, but it was something that u could not stop at that moment. She was doing it again, acting crazy and psycho making everyone question why she wasnt getting hospital help yet.

“So you are saying that it’s my fault? You were supposed to care for me, for your ill mother, not that you are useful for anything else. How could you even think of disappearing, going to school so far away and leaving me to rot here myself like you were not meant to end like this too!”

Snatching your hand you looked at the woman once again, tears in eyes making you look fragile. Her own body looking weak, nearly dead limbs hanging from a malnourished body, showing the world wrack of a woman she was. Complexion ill looking, but what was not in her case, pale looking with green, purple and blue spots everywhere the skin was shown.

“Why are you being so shocked? Don’t tell me you thought you were going to leave someday.” Her laugh made you grit your teeth, jaw starting to hurt from the tension you were keeping. “Once again you showed how foolish you are, just like your father, just like that scumbag.”

“You are insane.”

“That we already know, so why don’t you come back to your room and start preparing for tomorrow. I want to eat a really nice breakfast next morning and maybe then after we can talk about what job you are going to have to make a living for us.”

And that was your sign to go, not looking back at the sick smirk on your mother mouth momocking your whole being. Step by step you saw the old stairs, in some place missing the color. Your room was nothing special, at least that what people said, for you it was some type of heaven. Peace that you could only catch while being there, laying on your old bed while looking at the dull ceiling.

Closing the door, you exchaled a heavy breath, sliding down on the flat surface of the door. Eyes closed like you have always done after an intense situation, today was not an exception to that.

Asking yourself what just happened, how and why. Unconsciously you looked at the letter beside you, laying so weirdly on the piece of not carpeted floor. The big fault in a little piece of paper. It was funny how this thing made such a bad influence on your life just by arriving on your doorstep.

The fact that the only person you could compare yourself to now is a story character of the name Harry was nearly not as funny as it sounded. However how u can explain getting a letter from a prestigious school you for sure did not apply or even looked up not even thinking about getting a scholarship to having a chance to think about it.

By any chance you were not stupid, but your ambitions flew away with another day in this shit hole you called home. Main reason being your own mother, which not only made it clear but for sure would kill you faster than let you leave.

You took the letter, keeping it in your hand like some unknown object you have never seen before. The texture itself is weird, making you shiver in some way. Big letter stood on the black piece of paper meaning only one thing.

Oh yes, that definitely was unsetting.

You remember clearly the first time you read the words that were put in this blank envelope. Big chance waiting for you, welcoming you with big arms and assuring you that you have nothing to be scared of.

And maybe those words were the one that brought you to that situation. It was not even three hours after the fight with your mother. Sun long down now moon shining on your pale face. Packing everything you tried to be quiet and quick hoping that your mother again ate too much of those big pills.

Big bag now laying down on your bed with a small letter beside it looking as innocent as before. You were not even seventeen making decisions that would cost you more then you can imagine. Living hell with possibility of going to another but in that moment nothing mattered like running away from old monsters.

Floor cracked under your feet even thought you were considered as a lightweight. How could you not be so malnourished when your mother forced you to teach yourself how to cook, never letting you eat before her. You tried to reason her moods or harsh behaviour to you but no matter how many times you tried it always ended in another reason why your life was just simply sad.

Running away was a good decision. You tried to say it so many times to actually believe in those empty words. The truth was that you were an innocent little child, not even a full adult that has never tasted a social life or had a friend.

“It will be alright.” Taste on your tongue after saying this a little sour with a heavy backpack danglin on your right arm. One step and then another, you touched the cold handle of your white doors. It was the first move to make and probably one of the hardest.

Bag on your arm is even more heavy making you realise what is happening. Silent breath flowed past your lips preparing you for your next step.

You pushed it closing it carefully while hoping that the oldish touch to the wood wont make an appearance in a loud noise. Silly smile now seen on your face with big relief in the back of your mind. The hardest part was just before you.

Your mothers room, not fully closed - like always, she needed to make sure nobody would come uninvited. It was just one of her weird characteristics that came with such a messed up mental health.

Small noise came out under your feet, not loud enough to wake up the woman next door but audible enough to be heard from closer.

Photos all around you telling you that you were getting near the main door. Little pictures with you inside faded from ears of hanging, making you stop for a while.

Smooth glass now under your fingers as you touch a specific photo. You and your mother being in the green garden of your grandmas. Happy vibe and pretty smiles now nearly unbelievable to witness on either of faces. It hurted or maybe it was just the adrenaline escaping from a sudden stop.

Oh how the sweet monet was quickly destroyed by the harsh noise from one of the rooms, and you exactly know which one. Loud thud rang out in the quietness of the house, making the silence even more noticable. Your breath escaped leaving you in a big ball of nerves and anxiety.

One...two...three

Silence like the one before big storms but maybe just this time it was not that. You couldn't withdraw now, you were too far and too close to the feeling of freeness. So you did the only thing that came to your mind.

Catching a sliding backpack, you turned to the door in front of you, knowing that just behind them is waiting something so much bigger than your old mother. How stupid for you to not rethink your decision, and believing your innocent mind that its just a good thing, better life that could only make you happier.

So you did it, you took the heavy steps that echoed in the narrow corridor. Light breeze touched your face, and just like the first time you gasped at the feeling. Door closing not that gently as you started running as fast as you could.

Silly smile now on your face with a bouncing bag on your shoulders keeping you on the hard ground. It was feeling similar to the first sight of the ocean or the first taste of sweet ice cream on a hot summery morning. You were in ecstasy choked by the overwhelming emotions.

And maybe because of that you were completely unaware of the danger that waited for you on that chilly night. How could you think about it when everything seemed so distracting almost as you were dreaming and in that moment you probably were closer to believing in this being a slumber.

So as you sat on the cold bench of one of the parks near your home, realization finally came silencing your beating heart. Colder weather now felt more real, as it bit your rosy cheeks. You shivered, keeping your backpack on your lap, trying to hide behind it from a chilly wind that seemed like it came from every side.

Being alone hit you like a truck and the little noises of the night didn't help your rising nerver. You started to lose your breath, feeling your tears sliding down your numb cheeks. It was terrifying now with the knowledge of your wellbeing and adrenaline wearing off with every second.

“Mom?” A silent plea that came out of your lips with shakiness that was more than noticeable. You didn't know why you said that, but the woman was probably the only person you knew. Such a sad truth that you needed to understand. You were alone now, and with that thought a more shameless sobs left your mouth with an occasional whimper.

You were sure you were going to end up dead. That you won't see the new sunset with how your body shivered. Not knowing how life worked or what is bad or good you were a little lamb that waited for hungry wolves to eat her whole.

And maybe one of those predators just saw his next meal. Long strides brought him just in front of you. Your sobs are too loud to make you hear his boots coming closer and closer. His breath just centimeters away from your head, brushing your hair like the not forgotten wind.

“Sweetheart?” It was a calming voice, not too deep but definitely belonging to a grown man. Your posture momentaly stiffened, as your closed eyes now looked at the big leather shoes before you. Your whole body is not moving, only shivering because of the chilly weather and light clothes. It was funny how suddenly you have forgotten about being alone, now wanting just this, wishing for all of this to be a big nightmare.

A deep sight left man's lips reminding you about the realness of the whole situation. You could not move, completely scared, your fingers clutched the bad praying for something to happen. The plan to just act like you were not there, ignoring the man fastly ended, when he sighted once again and crouched just to your eye level.

Deep brown eyes, looking at you with nothing but softness. If you didn’t know better you would say the man looked as if he knew you, cared and was in big relief finding you. But your mother's words echoed in your head, making you believe that every man walking on this planet is bad.

“What are you doing here sweetheart?” Once more this deep voice pierced you. Your mouth opens to answer, deeply knowing that nothing will come out. You just looked in his dark eyes, wishing that maybe he will be the one who can read minds. His eyes now on you, more concerned than before, observing your shivering body.

He was tall and broad for sure, towering over your figure surprisingly even while crouching down. His huge shoulders covered by a creamy coat which now was getting dirty by laying down on a pavement, as it partly hid his expensive looking boots.

Too distracted you didn't notice his hand coming to touch your red cheek, now gently stroking the redness of your skin.

“What a poor soul, so cold and left alone without a coat. Tell me sweetheart would you come and let me warm you a little?”