#think i have like two parts of the main quest left

[violetsareblue-selfships]

good morning!! <3

[taylorman2274]

We Care About You (Part III)

Those who have been with you since the beginning discuss the differences they've noticed with and without your presence.

Content Warning(s): Jean, Kaeya, & Albedo Story Quest Spoilers; Mondstadt Archon Quest Spoilers

Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader; [T/N] = Traveler Name

Word Count: 2.1k

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Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3;

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The sun had fully risen over the horizon by the time all the stores in Mondstadt's main plaza had opened for the day. Blanche was finishing setting up her fruit trays on the counter by the time Marjorie and Timeaus arrived at their respective stores. Sara, on the other hand, had already opened up Good Hunter half an hour ago. This was in case there were any early birds or if any of the aforementioned shopkeepers wanted a quick bite to eat before work.

Today, the Traveler and Paimon were examples of early birds, as the two were enjoying breakfast from Good Hunter. However, as they were eating their respective meals, they were approached by Raymond, a Knight of Favonius.

"Morning, Traveler. Morning, Paimon," he greeted. "Sorry to interrupt your meal, but I'm here to inform you that your presence has been requested by the Acting Grand Master. She requests that you head on over to headquarters immediately."

Paimon groaned. "Does Jean really have to summon us this early? Paimon hasn't even finished her Fisherman's Toast yet."

"I apologize once again, but it would be rude to keep the Acting Grand Master waiting," Raymond replied.

The Traveler shook their head. "No worries. I'm just about finished anyway." They got up from their seat. "Would you like for me to get you a to-go box, Paimon?

"Get a to-go box? Has Paimon not already proved to you what she's capable of? Watch this!" Paimon proclaimed before chowing down the rest of her Fisherman's Toast as quickly as Paimonly possible.

...Said way involved burying herself nose-deep in her plate and practically inhaling all the food left on her plate. The Traveler and Raymond even had to hold their hands up to their faces to protect themselves from any flying food.

Maybe they shouldn't have bought her a triple stack...

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Despite being invited by Jean herself, The Traveler decided to knock on her office door. It was only proper manners.

"Enter."

They opened the door and allowed Paimon to enter first before letting themselves in. As soon as Jean recognized them, she gracefully got up from her chair and walked around to the front of her desk.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Honorary Knight. I know you must be tired.”

The Traveler shook their head. "It was no trouble. Paimon and I were already up to begin with."

"Is that so? It's a shame my cuties didn't think to greet me in the library first thing in the morning. Your company can certainly revitalize this mage's energy." Came a voice to their left. Both newcomers swiveled their heads to look at the other visitor partially hidden in the corner.

"Lisa? Were you called here by Jean as well?" questioned Paimon.

"I was," Lisa confirmed, perplexion etched on her face, "Though I haven't been told why yet."

"I called you both here for the same reason. However, not everyone has arrived yet. We're still waiting on two more people. Once they’ve arrived, I’ll explain everything," Jean explained.

To pass the time, the Traveler, Paimon, and Lisa began to catch up with each other on what had happened since they last met while Jean leaned against her desk and peeked at the ticking clock on the wall from time to time.

She wasn't worried about the other two members being late. They each were fellow Knights of Favonius members after all. They know the standards that need to be set in order to maintain their position.

A few minutes later, everyone in the office could hear rapid footsteps from outside the room. Not even a second later the door was thrown open by Amber who quickly entered the room and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

pant ... pant ... "Sorry I'm late, Jean. I got caught up with something."

Jean shook her head. "Not to worry, Amber. We haven't started talking about anything yet." Jean snuck a peak behind Amber towards the open door. "Did you happen to see Kaeya on the way here?"

Amber straightened up and nodded her head. "I did, actually. He's..."

"Right here."

Kaeya smoothly walked into the office and quietly shut the door Amber left open behind him.

Jean gave a quick nod. "Good. That should be everybody." Everyone gathered around Jean in a semi-circle. "I bet you're all wondering why I've called you here this early."

"To put it simply, I'd rather get this discussion out of the way before we all start work for the day. This mainly concerns the Traveler, but I promise you all are important to this discussion as well."

Jean turned her attention to the Traveler. "First off, how are your adventures going?"

The Traveler looked at Jean in confusion. Jean called all of them here just to ask them about their adventures? "...Pretty well I guess. I've hit a few obstacles here and there but it was nothing I couldn't handle."

Jean nodded. "That's good to hear. And what about this latest obstacle you're facing?"

Now it was Paimon's turn to be confused. "Latest obstacle...?" she murmured, "Oh! Do you mean [Y/N]?"

Amber, Lisa, and Kaeya all widened their eyes in surprise as they looked at Paimon. Jean nodded once again.

"Yes. That's exactly the reason why I've called you all here. Although I may not know much about [Y/N], I understand that you all have had some experience with them. If you could tell me all that you know about them, I'll get a better understanding of what our next action should be."

The Traveler nodded in understanding before looking around at the others. "Should I go first, or do you all want to share your thoughts now?"

Amber was the first to reply. "Sure! I'll go first. In my opinion, the Traveler and [Y/N] are the same person, but also different people. When I first met the Traveler outside of the Whispering Woods, they introduced themselves as [Y/N]. However, once we dealt with the sources of Stormterror's power in the abandoned Four Winds' Temples, they seemed much livelier. That was when they explained that they were actually [T/N], and [Y/N] was this 'ghost or entity-like thing' that possessed them against their will.

Lisa nodded. "It's true. When we were traversing through the last temple, I felt as if my body was not under my control, but I was still conscious to witness what I was doing. It was scary at first, but after a while, I kind of got used to it."

Jean raised a skeptical brow. "And why is that?"

"Because [Y/N] and I were trying to achieve the same thing. They guided me through the temple, defeated all of the enemies, and destroyed Stormterror's crystal, all things that I originally intended to do myself."

Jean brought a hand to her chin. "Interesting..."

Kaeya raised his hand, signaling to speak next. "It's not just that, either. Later on when I had the Traveler lure some Treasure Hoarders to some ruins, one of them accidentally activated a Ruin Guard while attempting to flee. We managed to take it down, of course, while being guided by [Y/N], but I noticed that I had gotten stronger in between fighting the treasure hoarders outside the ruins and fighting the Ruin Guard. We defeated the Ruin Guard a lot quicker than I thought we would."

Jean furrowed her brows. "But Ruin Guards are a lot harder to defeat than mere Treasure Hoarders. Surely you must be exaggerating?"

Kaeya chuckled. "I can assure you, Jean. The strength I gained when guided by [Y/N] is no exaggeration. Surely you must've felt their presence yourself?"

"Outside of the day when I got burnout, no. But even then, I didn't exactly feel I was much stronger."

"Oh!" Amber blurted out. "Speaking of getting stronger, I've noticed that [Y/N] has improved some of my abilities as well! For example, the day before we pulled that whole sleeping stunt on [Y/N], we were helping them complete some commissions around Mondstadt. While we were completing them, I noticed that I could suddenly fire two arrows with one shot! Not only that, but I was able to manually detonate my Baron Bunny by shooting at it!"

Amber frowned. “The only downside is that I haven't had much success replicating these abilities when I'm not with [Y/N].”

"So you've noticed as well?" Lisa asked. "I thought I was the only one to notice." She turned her attention back to Jean. "You see, [Y/N] typically has me defeat hydro slimes whenever they appear, and with them I'm normally able to defeat them in one or two hits. However, I wanted to test a theory I've been thinking about recently. So I went to go find a hydro slime and see how many hits it took to defeat it. Just as I thought, it took nearly double the number of hits before it was beaten."

"I see. And is this something that we should look into?"

"No. I just thought it was something worth mentioning."

"Alright then. And when [Y/N] does guide you, is it only to complete commissions?" Jean inquired.

"Oh no!" Amber eyes sparkled. "We've been helping the Honorary Knight and [Y/N] all across Teyvat! It's amazing!"

Jean smiled. "Then you all must be enjoying your adventures, I presume?"

"But of course!" exclaimed Amber. "I've always wanted to see the world beyond Mondstadt and it's just as grand as I imagined."

"That's good to hear." Jean then looked down at the floor and sighed. "...Honestly, there are times when I wish I could throw my work to the side and travel alongside you, Honorary Knight."

"Paimon is certain that [Y/N] would love to have you join their Adventure Team! If it becomes possible, Paimon will put in a good word for you."

Jean chuckled. "Thanks, Paimon." She turned her attention to the Traveler. "And what about you? What do you know about [Y/N]?"

"It's a pretty long story. The first time I ever got a clue as to who [Y/N] was was when I was in the middle of helping Albedo with his research. During the middle of some experiments, I felt their presence leaving. However, almost immediately after they left I saw a bright light in the sky. It only lasted for a few seconds, but when the light went away, I saw that it had come from Celestia!"

Jean looked shocked for a moment but quickly composed herself. She had an image to maintain after all. "Really?! From Celestia?"

"Yes. Albedo saw it as well and it piqued his curiosity. To make a long story short, he found out that for a brief moment, the light that spawns from Celestia forms as if one is opening a door to an unlit room. He hypothesizes that whoever [Y/N] is, they are not from Celestia but somewhere beyond it. Maybe even another world entirely."

Kaeya smirked. "From another world, eh? So does that mean [Y/N] is an alien?"

The Traveler shook their head. "I don't think so. Most of the worlds I traveled to before Teyvat were inhabited by humans. I would assume that if [Y/N] is from another world, they would be human as well.

"How certain are you?" inquired Jean.

"I'm like 90% certain they're human," the Traveler confirmed. Amber hummed in thought.

"Do you think they might be a god?"

“A god whose eyes are focused on a world separate from theirs? Sounds unlikely to me,” countered Lisa.

"Regardless..." Jean interjected. "[Y/N] has been absent for a while now, correct?" The Traveler nodded. "Have you thought about continuing your journey without them should they not come back?"

"I've had the thought. But I'm willing to wait however long is necessary if it means I get to see them again."

Jean put a hand to her chin. "Are you sure? I would gladly be willing to have Amber, Lisa, or Kaeya travel with you for the foreseeable future."

Paimon nodded. "It's been almost a week since that incident, and yet Paimon has never seen the Traveler lose any determination at all!"

Jean nodded as well. "I see. In that case, I believe that is all I have to say for this discussion. It was nice meeting you once again, Honorary Knight."

"The same goes for you, Jean.”

Everyone exchanged goodbyes with each other and, minus Jean, prepared to leave the office. However, just before they left...

"Hey. Is it just me, or is it getting brighter outside?"

Kaeya looked towards Amber. "I'm sure it's just the clouds moving past the sun."

Amber shook her head, keeping her gaze towards the window. "No... I didn't see any clouds when I first came in..."

The room was silent. Some looked to the window while others kept their attention on Amber.

Suddenly, Paimon gasped.

"Paimon!" The Traveler shouted in surprise. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"...They're back..." she whispered.

The Traveler tilted their head. "Who's back?"

Paimon was too stunned to speak, but it didn't take long for the Traveler to figure out why. Their eyes grew wide in shock.

"[Y/N]!!" They suddenly exclaimed as they bolted past everyone. Everyone quickly followed the Traveler outside.

Once they all gathered outside. They quickly turned their gaze towards Celestia. Just as they thought, a light, though less noticeable during the day, was slowly getting brighter.

"Sorry, Jean! We've got to go! Don't wanna be late!" Paimon quickly said before everyone aside from Jean was teleported away.

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"It sure is taking a long time to check for updates," you thought.

After countless research, note-taking, and several anxiety breakdowns, you were finally ready to hop back onto Genshin and meet up with the people who you now realize are alive and sentient.

"I hope all this makes a good impression on them."

The door appeared.

With one click, you would be back to where this trouble all started…

Breathe in… Breathe out…

click

The door opened.

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Author Side Notes: I looked at my fanfiction and decided that it needed LORE™

Once again, I'll be editing this chapter over the next upcoming days. I sort of prefer it as opposed to keeping this in my drafts. I don't want you all waiting for the next part too long!

[walpu]

walp walp hear me out

remember that trailblazer scene with firefly and how she just just gets stabby stabbed by the creature (memory zone meme i think)

and + Aventurine having access to the 'real' dreamscape, combine that with bodyguard! reader who will go through hell and back to make sure Aventurine will. Live.

reader follows aven during the entirety of the Penacony quest, including when Black Swan teleports the both of them to the real memory zone. (also, does anyone else feel like bodyguard! reader and Trailblazer would be besties... no, just me?)

now, keep in mind, Aven and reader have a... complicated bond. IPC workers here and there say their dating, the Trailblazer has straightup asked if they would just get a room (you get their vibe, you can go along with the secret assassin! bodyguard! reader req i sent in)

a little bit more insight on their dynamic (again, going with the assassin reader thing, its already known between the two atp, so this can be set after that period), Aven wants to love reader, wants to hold them close, and wants their affection, but dammit, he just cant bring himself to. Not when he's sure he'll just hurt everyone that comes close to him (his sister, cough cough)

and reader has the same mindset, they love Aven, as a boss, as that annoying but endearing friend, and perhaps as more. But they have blood, the lives of people that they've unlawfully taken, not to mention, they are 100% sure Aven would never love a person who killed just for monetary income.

now, here's where the real show starts. There's also another assassin (seriously, Duke Inferno should save his manpower) following reader and Aven. Safe to say, only one is making it out alive. How the assassin followed the two of them? No fucking clue, but somehow it does.

After i assume beating the living shit out of hordes of memory zone monsters, the assassin appears, and just when Aventurine's unsuspecting?? Boom, goes in for the kill.

Yeah, too bad. Aven's not dying. But reader is! Yeah, in a act of (cliche) protection, reader allowed themselves to be the one to suffer from the attack. (Bonus if they get decapitated, or just stabbed like how Trailblazer was by Cocolia). Aven will never forget the way that he just- watched reader's body fall, the light just gone from their eyes.

Anyways, he doesn't even get to hold their body. You just- poof into bubbles like Firefly did. The last thing he has left of his beloved bodyguard? Just a simple red earring, matching the one he wore. Nothing left.

Okay, im also going to cope here that the whole shitshow with Aven and Acheron did not happen, he returns to the room that reader had, and he just... stands there. He takes in the way that half of the room was messy, half of it was untouched. So much like them, unpredictable and just had a touch of the weirdness he loved so damn much.

(Bonus if you want a happy scenario, reader's alive and well, afterall, dying in the dreamscape doesn't kill anyone. Reader is probably smiling very awkwardly while they stare at a teary eyed Aventurine, then they make out /hj)

yay another rant, i had this idea for days, the decapitation part may or may not have been plaguing me (should i be concerned), anyways, thanks for listening to my word vomit, stay safe and stay healthy <33

feel like falling on my knees and begging to forgive me for taking so long this spring doesn't let me breath istg. I've got this request before 2.1 and only got to it now that's why Aven is ghosting me.

bodyguard!reader "dying" in the dreamscape to protect Aventurine

sort of a sequel to this but can be read as a separate work as well, the main thing you need to know is that reader was originally an assassin sent by Duke Inferno but they've changed their mind and stayed by Aven's side

notes - gn!reader, angst, unestablished relationship, no beta

You both knew the trip to Penacony would be difficult. You, in particular, knew that something big and very sinister is coming, judging by the way Aventurine danced around the subject, not giving you full information.

You may not know all the details of Aventurine's plan but you know him well enough to realize that he's planning on doing something extremely reckless and dangerous.

So you do your best to protect him. To shiels him from any possible danger, to keep him within your reach.

Of course Aventirune notices. How can he not notice when he already keeps his eye on you most of the time anyway. And just as you're trying to look out for him, he wants to looks out for you.

This mission already could be considered suicidal and he doesn't want you to be caught in this. Better to keep you in the dark, away from it.

Yet he can't help but selfishly enjoy your attention, your tenderness. You go out of your ways to make sure he's fine and he feels so undeserving of it. How can you be so kind when he's keeping so much from you?

You've seen him at his worst and you've stayed. You've proven so many times that you care for him not because it's just your job, not because of his money or status but because it's him.

He still struggles to believe in it sometimes. When he feels doubtful , he rubs his cheek against your shoulder in a playful cat-like manner and watches your reaction. Amusement you're trying to hide. Adoration you can't hide.

How can he doubt you? You're the one who should be doubting him.

He wants to melt into you, to be even closer than the two of you already are, but how can he love you without putting you in danger? Without draining your luck, without cursing you?

Sometimes he sees the same struggles in your eyes. When you carefully trace his face with the tips of your gloved fingers, your gaze sometimes lowers and you pull your hand away, as if you're ashamed.

But of what, of what? The blood on your hands? He has it too!

He wants to tell you this, to hold you tight, to never ever let go. The wish is so primal that everyone else can see. The memokeeper giving him a knowing smile as soon as she sees you two together, the masked fool taunting him about the only one willing to listen to him being his loyal dog ("though, judging by the way you look at them, little peacock, you're the one on the leash here~" she says. It feels like even a lower blow than the comments about his past. At least he expected those, but being taunted about his obvious feelings for is new), mx. Stellaron asking you two to get a room with a deadpun expression.

The worst one is the doctor though. Asking Aventurine to focus on the mission, then, in a softer tone, suggesting to tell you more about the plan. "It's foolish to keep it from your most trusted person, gambler. In the end, it may hurt them even more than your obsessive concerns".

If Ratio of all people gives you relationship advice you're doing soooo bad.

Yet Aventurine can't bring himself to listen to his words. He wants you safe and well, and he's sure (he's not sure) he's doing the right thing.

And yet he's wrong. He can't shield you, he can't. One of the richest people in the IPC, one of the Ten Stonehearts, the blessed one, yet he can't protect the one he loves no matter how much he tries. He's cursed, doomed, isn't he?

Damned Duke Inferno. He's dead, annihilated, and yet, somehow, one of his wretched dogs, his sneaky little assassin, finds you two in the depths of the memory zone. Such dedication to the cause!

There are two gunshots. Inferno's little rat and you strike at the same time. Them, aiming at Aventurine, and you, aiming at them. Only one bullet reaches it's target though.

It all happens so fast. You react immediately, covering Aventurine with your body. You move instinctively at the same second you shoot.

When their bullet hits you, you don't even feel it. Maybe because it's still a dreamland? The pain just won't come even though your back feels like it's on fire. You don't understand it yet but your body already starts disappearing.

All you can focus on is Aventurine's wide shocked eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes.

You smile weakly at him. That's all he can see before you're gone. He doesn't even have time to reach out to you, to hold you. As if he ever had the privilege of holding his loved ones in their final moments.

You just poof into the blue bubbles.

He rushes into the real world, in your room, praying to any deity that may here for you to be alive and well. It was a dream, not a real world. You can't die in a dream, not really. You weren't even killed by the memory zone meme, surely you're fine!

Yet you're not. You're not here, not anywhere in the hotel. You're truly gone.

He feels everything and nothing at the same time.

Of course, of course, of course he wasn't able to protect you!

How lucky he is, he has avoided death once again! His beloved died to protect him but he has survived! He's so blessed, truly, so blessed!

He finds himself on his knees, on the verge of hysterical laughter. The only thing you left behind is a small red earring he has gifted. And he clatches it so tightly his hand bleeds. Perhaps the pain is the only thing keeping him sane at this moment.

It feels like a cruel joke. It doesn't feel real, it shouldn't be real.

Wait... That's it! It isn't real. It's impossible to die in a dream! It was his theory all along, after all. It must be true. You just can't be dead, you can't, not you too.

His plan hasn't changed, he tells Ratio when he comes to check on Aventurine. He just needs to reach the real Penacony. To reach it and to find you there. You're strong and brave and so wonderful. You're out there somewhere, he just needs to help you to get back to the real world.

He holds into that idea like a madman. It doesn't matter how dangerous it is. It never did, to be honest. But now it's like he can't focus on anything else.

He hasn't feel so despaired in years. He just needs to find you, everything else is meaningless.

So when it's time for the final act, he gets on stage, fears not and doesn't look back.

He still holds his hand behind his back though. Clutching your earrings for dear life.

[ishaslife]

Astarion has been breaking my poor heart.

This post will contain spoilers for the game and Astarion's romance/backstory. Before anyone comes at me, I want to say that you are the main character, you are supposed to change the fates and behaviours of your characters, especially if you are romancing them. It's a video game, that's kind of the point.

This post is extremely long and I apologise.

This analysis is based off my playthrough.

(*) means check notes at the bottom of the post.

I wasn't expecting to like him as much as I do. Don't get me wrong, I really liked him during EA and I thought he was funny, charming, flirty with a dark past and all that was just a means to cover his trauma but since the full game has come out and we've gotten to know more of him, it truly breaks my heart to see and know what he has been through. My sister and I were watching his reactions to be being rejected, being told that Tav only wants sex and forcing him to do things he doesn't want to do, it is truly heart-wrenching.

Many people expected Astarion to be this "I am so sexual and my romance will mostly be sex, also I will betray you the first chance I get." and it couldn't be further from the truth. Astarion is extremely loyal, and yes he has that air of flambouncy to him, will often make japes and say evil things but most of the time, it is just a facade. It's his shield in a way, he has been treated with utter cruelty for two hundred years of his life and now that he finally has some control over himself, he doesn't wish to be hurt again.

I don't think Astarion is ever completely evil, even in the beginning. He just wants to have fun and enjoy life after so many years of slavery. He likes it when you are snarky, say mean shit to people for fun but, he doesn't like to see innocents get hurt, and he doesn't support fighting for people who don't fight for themselves. Yes, he will support some of your evil decisions but they will lead to a bad ending, for you and your characters. It'll make Astarion wallow more in his greed and he'll lose the little humanity he has left. He doesn't really have a clear sense of direction in the beginning of the game as he's just found freedom and obviously wants to live life to the fullest, being evil comes naturally to him, it's instinct as its what he's been doing for two centuries.

This is my assumption since we don't know his actual age but since he's an elf who was well-respected in society, had a pretty prestigious job and was rich enough to be corrupt. I'd assume he was at least 70-100 years old before he was turned into a spawn. (EDIT - in a recent post by @deluxetrashqueen I saw the translation of the dates of birth and death on his tombstone:

"Astarion Ancunin

229-268 DR" to which he adds, "458DR - "

which shows that he was only 39 at the time of his death, which explains his emotional immaturity for an elf.) My point being, I believe he has been a spawn for longer than he's ever been a regular person. He has spent the longer part of his life doing evil things for an evil man, that was what his life was on a daily basis with Cazador. And his former work experience probably helped, he likely learnt pretty quick how much he took for granted as a living person and the harshness of his master, peers and people he seduced made him harsh and unforgiving in return.

Once you start getting close to him, you start to learn that he is only mean to people because of how life has treated him. In his romance, he says "no one ever looked out for me, no one ever said a kind word to me. You're the only one, no one is like that." Astarion starts to see, because of you that there is kindness in the world, and he finds kindness in you. Especially after his quest, as much as he'd hate to admit it, he also sees friends in your other companions as they do in him. By the end of Act 2, he starts to get more soft towards you and the decisions you make, often even disapproving of evil decisions. People often tend to forget that a lot of Astarion's evil personality is a front, it is not who he truly is.

These points will be better explained individually so I will talk about some themes.

Power: power plays a big part in his entire storyline. In the beginning, he wants to harness the powers of the tadpole to become powerful and at first, you think that it's simply because he's an evil character and he wants power for the sake of having it. Then later, he wishes to take over the power of the ascendant but mostly only to spite Cazador and take something important from him, not fully realising the true power of the rite.

As he slowly starts opening up to you, he tells you "the mind flayers tore me from that place" and you realise that its the tadpole that let's him walk in the sun, do things a vampire or spawn would never be able to, you learn that he hates being a vampire because he can't even remember what he looks like. He seeks power outside because he has had no power over himself for about two centuries, he thinks that having this power will fulfill his needs but it won't, we know it won't because in truth he only needs to reclaim his autonomy, physical and mental. Of course Astarion would never truly admit to this for a long while, even when he's romanced. I personally really love his good romance arc where he doesn't have sex with you, not because he dislikes you or doesn't want you but because, as he says "any kind of intimacy was something I performed to lure people back for him. While I know things between us are different... being with someone still feels tainted. It brings up all those feelings of disgust and loathing." He has spent 200 years or so bowing to Cazador's whims, done things to people he didn't want to do and I assume since it's heavily hinted at, were very sexual in nature. In a relationship, he simply wants to be seen as a person and I think that's really sad because that's how low the bar is for him.

In the ending of his quest, you can persuade him and tell him that going forth with the ritual won't set him free even if he thinks it will and I agree. If he's a slave to Cazador now, later he'd be a slave to power and greed. Just look at Cazador, despite being one of the most powerful beings in existence, he still wanted more power. That kind of greed and hunger never ends and Astarion would lose himself and who he has become while he was with us. Yes, it makes him walk in the sun again and do things a regular vampire can't but at what cost? 7,000 lives and his humanity. He would never be able to enjoy this "freedom" because he'll only strive to seek more power. In his ascendant ending, he becomes everything he's ever hated about Cazador, the cycle repeats itself, from Vellioth to Cazador and from Cazador to Astarion. And it will never end. Astarion even refuses to turn you into a vampire and wishes to keep you only as a spawn. With an insight check, you can learn that he thinks you're degrading yourself and he doesn't care. He now sees you as something to own, something to possess, not love. All his good qualities, wants and needs get twisted. Astarion truly only needs to feel like a person again but he doesn't fully realise this until you show it to him, through good deeds and actions, through simple acts of kindness. As he says in his "good" ending "I've been dead in the ground enough. It's time to try living again. With all that life has to offer."

Safety: Astarion wants to feel safe. He is so scared of being found by Cazador, he knows he's looking for him and the only thing giving him some form of safety from Cazador is the tadpole so of course he wants to harness its powers that is until he finds out it'll turn him into another kind of monster, a mind flayer. He doesn't wish to lose himself and his freedom again hence is vehemently against taking on the tadpole's powers but he doesn't stop you because that is of course, your decision to make. He says "if such power would please you, darling, I won't stop you. But do be careful, I want you to remain you." Now the only thing left that can properly give him his freedom is Cazador's death and he wants to kill him himself which I think is perfectly acceptable, Cazador deserves to die and if it is by Astarion's hands, all the better. But, in his romance, he makes it clear that he's doing it for safety, and he tells himself that he wants to take the power of the rite for safety as well because in truth, he is terrified of being powerless again. He does want revenge yes, but he also wants to keep you and himself safe from Cazador, even in the dungeon, if you run an insight check, the narrator tells you that he is losing his mind because of the power that's on offer and the smell of blood in the air. It's almost as if to say "he's losing his mind, please stop him before he forgets who he is." Astarion NEEDS your guidance*, eventually he even thanks you for 'saving him from himself.' In his good ending, he sees that in taking the power, he would be no better than Cazador and would become everything he's ever hated about him, and inflict on others what his former master inflicted on him, starting with you. His ascendant ending is honestly a very sad ending for his character, all that growth, change and development you bring to him throughout your journey just gone down the drain as he becomes an unfeeling, evil, narcissistic arsehole who only craves for more power. In his good ending, he will be safe, with you and with the friends he has made along the way. He is proud of himself and so is everyone else, it offers him a kind of friendship that's afforded to very few in the D&D world, especially a vampire/spawn whose very existence is hated. It is a bond based on trust, loyalty and to a degree, even love instead of fear like in the ascendant ending.

Abandonment and Fear: Astarion is driven by fear but he also knows facing Cazador is inevitable and something he needs to face rather than avoid. Even if he isn't outright seeking it (but he does seek it) I think he is braver than he likes to think and he definitely has some anti-hero traits. He likes the tadpole because it helped him get away from Cazador's authority and he enjoys bending others to his will since it makes him feel more powerful compared to how he's felt the past two centuries. But if you choose to not do the same, he doesn't really care. He doesn't except it of you nor is he disappointed (since he neither approves or disapproves. He only disapproves helping people who didn't ask or didn't want to be helped) he only gives a snarky comment or two about what he would've done instead and follows you anyway. He realises you're a good person. If you indulge too much however, I would argue that he agrees simply because he doesn't want you to turn against him. Perhaps he believes that you can turn on him and kill him as easily as you killed the tieflings or other innocents. He probably thinks it's easier to turn a good person evil than an evil person, good (tbh he wouldn't be entirely wrong.) And making bad choices does negatively affect his character of course but I just thought I'd put that out there as I think it's very likely for him to do so. He is definitely extremely paranoid, he hardly ever says how he truly feels out loud but when you break up with him (it's so heartbreaking omg) he says "I was beginning to think someone truly wanted me. I shouldn't have deluded myself." and "From the start, I was rather counting the hours until it was going to end. Midnight chimes, eh?" As heartbreaking as it is, the latter line shows how terrified he was of being abandoned or only be used for his body, he kept obessesively worrying that Tav would leave him after he bore his heart out to them. There's another bit of dialogue in Act 1 where he is trying his lines with you to get you to sleep with him a second time and you can say no which he is fine with but if you outright reject him there, meaning "I never want to see you like that again" he gets extremely sad: "Well, excuse me while I die of a broken heart. [slight chuckle] In all honesty, it's a shame. That time was special to me. I've gotten on my back 10,000 times or more and forgotten half of them. But you, I'll remember. [long pause] Have a fine evening... dear." Mind you, this is after you've only slept with him once. His dialogue makes it seem like he was already catching feelings for you, and not realising that himself until this happens. Seeing this made me realise that you're the first person he's slept with of his own volition, even if it was to seduce you. For the longest time, I think Astarion doesn't even want to believe you'll like him as something more than someone to sleep with, he hopes you might as his rejection line says so but astarion is nothing if not careful and well, paranoid.

That's why he's so shocked when you choose to not let him bite Araj at Moonrise even if it gave you something powerful in return. He sees that you chose his comfort over a genuinely useful commodity. Biting people or using his vampire, well, anything makes him extremely uncomfortable since it reminds him of things he needed to do for Cazador. If he bites her, it makes him feel like being a slave again, but bending to your will and wishes instead of his former master's. He realises he doesn't know how to say no. Which is another thing he says if you wish to pursue only a sexual relationship with him. He feels played.

Freedom: this is probably the main theme to his character arc. He wants to be free, not only from his master but also free to make right decisions and make decisions for himself, something he hasn't been able to do for years. This is why respecting his decision to not sleep with you is important to him, he doesn't feel comfortable being physically close to someone in a sexual way as it makes him doubt the person's true intentions and feelings and of course, makes him feel loathsome and disgusted with himself. He needs that time where you just connect as people to really see that you are in fact genuine and he wouldn't be hurt if he trusted you or gave you his heart. Towards the end of the game, he is still quite ruthless, but mostly only towards people who do wrong and are criminals. Astarion has a very strong set of ideals, he believes that people who do wrong deserve to die no matter the crime. I don't think this is entirely true, every crime deserves a different punishment but most criminals, those who do severe wrong and still get away with it, do deserve to die but this is just my opinion of course. He is ruthless towards bad people because that's how people have been to him, at least Cazador and I wouldn't be surprised if he was treated badly during his sexual encounters with strangers while working for him.

Why I think the Ascendant ending is a tragic ending for Astarion's character and for you.

I won't lie, there are some aspects of ascended Astarion that are pretty hot and I'm a sucker for (pun absolutely intended) powerful, gothic vampires but this ending comes at the cost of way too much. One simply being: Astarion isn't Astarion anymore. All his snarkiness, playful nature and strange innocence is gone. In his ascendant ending, that is, when he takes the power of the Rite of Ascension for himself by carving the same rune on Cazador's back that's on his own, Astarion loses himself. In D&D lore, full vampires are unfeeling, ruthless and have all their good traits twisted into something more malignant and evil. If Astarion loved you, that love turns into possession, if he cared for you, it turns into obsession. He doesn't truly care anymore... as a vampire, he is manipulating you and telling you things you want to hear instead of what he's actually feeling. He never truly got that moment of catharsis by killing Cazador as he does in his spawn ending. That simple bliss of killing the man that enslaved him and worse all these years; he never gets to experience that because he ends up using Cazador for the same power Cazador killed Vellioth for in the past, albeit worse. It's a never-ending cycle. And if he turns you into his spawn, you will go through the same fate Astarion went through and probably turn on him the same way he turned on Cazador. He has absolutely no sympathy for you or for anyone that is not him, in fact he feels almost disgusted by you because he thinks you're degrading yourself in front of him. There is a conversation between him and if you refuse to become his spawn, and I think it sums up his character perfectly as a vampire, it goes like this:

(choosing different options will have different dialogues but they more or less lead to him saying the same thing.)

ASTARION: Just so you know, I have everything I've ever wanted. Everything lies ahead. I can see my path to a waking dream. From the Crimson Palace, I will govern day and night. Create a city of spawn who bow before me, cast a fog over the world for my children.

TAV: But the Palace halls will be lonely.

ASTARION: You'll be lonelier than I. Very soon I will discover how to call my legions of wolves, become a sea of mist, run wrongside-up on roofs. [laughs] Everything vampires do best.

You could have, too. [sniggers] What a waste.

TAV: You don't really have anything at all.

ASTARION: I can take anything I want. I should've made you a spawn just to teach you that.

And there we have it, that last bit of dialogue shows how Astarion is now everything he hated about his own master. He is Cazador's literal and spiritual successor, he thinks you need to be punished for rejecting him. He doesn't feel for you anymore, at least not in a human way. He has become someone else entirely, for the worst. His drive for taking the power of the rite was to be able to walk in the sun again but as a full vampire, he wants to "dominate it (the world) until the sun melts and give ourselves over to the night."

Astarion NEEDS change, he needs to see that the world can be a kinder place than the one he's lived in this whole time. Just a bit of care and love with him goes a long way. In his spawn ending, he comes to realise that you gave him his life back even if it was as a spawn because that is true freedom. He is free from his master, and greed & power which was in the disguise of safety. He may never be able to walk in the sun, but he is free to make his own decisions that are driven by his choices. One of them being; wanting and loving you, living a full life with you, whatever that may entail.

If you went into the game thinking that Astarion will betray you no matter what then giving him the ascendant ending brings your fears to life. Astarion doesn't learn anything, by making him a full vampire, you basically tell him that he can only be powerful and worth something if he has super vampire powers, and in turn, you lose everything too. Astarion may have gained unparralled strength but now he has no need of you, you gave him everything he wanted and nothing he needed so now he can do whatever he wants with you because you are lesser than him, literally, he is much stronger than you are and his power will only grow as he discovers more of it. He tries to manipulate you into turning you into a spawn. A dialogue being:

TAV: After everything you went through with Cazador, you're going to make me a spawn?

ASTARION: Oh that was completely different, I'd never hurt you. I love you. That's what you've been waiting to hear, isn't it? That's what you want?

Which just shows you how he's only saying "I love you" because that's what you want to hear, so you agree to becoming his spawn. He doesn't mean it, it doesn't really have any feeling behind it whatsoever. And if he turns you into a spawn, you have basically lost everything. Because he is obsessive over you, he'll never let you go and since now he is properly evil, he likely won't turn you into a vampire either, even if he says he will.

This is just my take on the ending though, I think we can all agree the ascendant ending is the evil ending for his character, even if it is an ending you prefer. I'm not trying to hate on anyone who does like this ending, only stating that I think it is meant to be evil and I personally don't like it.

CONCLUSION

Once you get to truly know Astarion, he's a pretty decent guy. I can't speak much for people who didn't romance him, I'm not entirely sure how his non-romance route plays out. The good conclusion of his quest is so wholesome, where he says he feels "truly, honestly free" and tells you "you saved me from myself. This is a gift, you know, thank you. I won't forget it." getting full circle to the first time you let him bite you (the only time in my case.) It shows so much character development and pure joy in the way he thanks you (it doesn't need to be said but props to Neil Newbon for bringing the character to life.) He will always be a spawn and yet, he feels like "anything and everything is possible" because of you and the choices you made with him, you believed in him when he didn't believe in himself, you showed him that he is enough just the way he is and he doesn't need to become a full vampire to be strong and powerful. Astarion comes out of his finale, a much more positive person, who actually cares even if he won't show it and the best part is, he always keeps that tiny streak of evil and mischief within him. He hasn't lost sight of himself, he's just less spiteful now and feels free to actually enjoy life rather than constantly being scared of what might happen to him. He finds trust and happiness in you and it makes him happy that you find the same within him. You are his home and he hopes he is yours.

I understand that my analysis may not be perfect and my interpretation of the character may be different from someone else's but that's fine, he is a video game character that can be played so many ways and people can go around it however they like, interpret his character however they wish. This is just what I think.

NOTES

'Astarion needs your guidance.' - no, this is not gaslight-y. Astarion is a deeply troubled character and clearly finds it hard to differentiate between right and wrong. He often asks for your input and what you think by Act 2 which isn't a bad thing, he's asking for help and I think that shows how far he's come. In the final scene of his quest, he is overcome by the promise of power and the safety it would've provided which would've consumed him as it did Cazador, Astarion admits to this himself too later on once he can think clearly and is in a more positive mindset. There is nothing wrong with guiding your partner towards something that will eventually be better for their growth as a person in the long run.

[starlightshadowsworld]

I love Percy and Annabeth but they should not have been in Heroes of Olympus.

Because they overshadow everyone else.

People even say they skipped other characters povs just to read there's.

I love them but I think they shouldn't have been as prominently apart of the story.

Because yeah I love them but I've had 5 books of these guys, I'd really like to know the rest of the seven.

Hell Jason's birthday is the day they fall into Tartarus soo...tell me they aren't overshadowed..

Jason's our main character and he constantly gets pushed aside and is not written well and constantly compared to as being Percy's lesser version.

Which isn't fair.

And he's not given a chance to change that.

He's not allowed to exist outside of Percy because of course he isn't.

Percy's right there.

Also give them a break.

They just fought a war.

Personally would love if the lost hero started with a snap shot of the battle of Manhatten and zoomed out to the Roman part of the fight.

Jason leading the charge and just "Yeah.. That's me, your probably wondering how I got here."

And takes us all the way back to a mysterious woman giving Jason up and the wolves coming for him.

With us learning from kid Thalia demanding to know where Jason is that this Jason is her Jason.

Jason Grace.

We see the wolf house we watch Jason try to survive and absolutely break our hearts hearing someone so young think he's so alone and no one loves him.

Lupa becoming more motherly to him but that fear Jason has always remains that she will turn on him one day.

Jason wandering the streets to Camp Jupiter.

Jason's situation bring the reverse of Percy's.

Being out casted immediately and than put on a pedestal once he's claimed.

Jason immediately hating it.

Jason being pushed into this good soilder narrative but he doesn't fit it at all.

His upbringing has left him wild, less bothered with proper fighting techniques and more on survival.

He fights to kill.

He fights to live.

And no one else gets that.

Except one camper, Octavian, who's older than Jason abd the Augur.

Everyone after reading the Pjo series seeing Octavian...I got my eye on you Mr.

Who insults the elders and is the first to get Jason to laugh.

And encourages Jason to stand up for what he believes in.

Giving Jason the courage to deny his place in the 1st cohort and join the 5th.

This

Pisses everyone off.

Mostly the 1st.

Who are downright offended because you don't turn down the first cohort.

And Jason's like, but I just did.

The 5th have no idea what to make of Jason but in time they become friendly.

Dakota becoming a friend to him.

Jason knows this because he shares his kool aid with him sometimes.

He does get in trouble for squaring off with and scaring off some bullies of the upper cohorts.

Because Jason hates bullies and he recognises the kid, Frank being picked on.

Apparently they stole his stick and while Jason has no idea it's importance, it made Frank sad soo he goes after them.

Ends up on probatio and friends with Frank.

Who admires Jason's bravery and wishes he could be too.

So the rest of the leigion kinda miffed some 5th upstart is embarrassing them.

And so when the next quest is given its to him.

Quests are different here to Camp Half-blood.

Since they don't have a true oracle, specifics are never mentioned.

Leaving the leigion to give the prophecy to whoever they want.

And they want to knock Jason down a few pegs and so they send him.

Jason picking Frank and Dakota.

Neither of the two are hopeful because the day a 5th is sent on a quest is the day their funeral is held.

Not the case though and they do in fact succeed and do it well.

Frank even opening up about his stick and showing that he is as brave and courageous as he wants to be.

It's through that act of bravery Frank is claimed as a son of Mars.

And though he's not exactly sure he should be one, Jason and Dakota both tell him it suites him well.

They both even do the "all hail Frank Zhang, Son of Mars" speech.

Which makes him smile.

On the way back though they do find Reyna.

Jason gets the short straw and has to do the oh the Roman God's are real but she knows and that she's a daughter of Bellona.

And they all head back to camp together.

And while Reyna has her guard up she does genuinely seem to enjoy her company with the others.

She's also the only other person to truly understand how Jason fights and his instinct to survive.

Though she doesn't share why.

Octavian greets them, proud and Reyna is on probatio until they can see what cohort she fits into.

Though she remarks after seeing the egos of the 1st that the 5th might be better afterall.

Celebrations are held and Jason wonders if the quest is really over.

Also all or us wondering if Octavian was genuine about what he said to Jason to follow his dreams.

Or if he did it to take Jason's place in the 1st.

Can't tell me after Luke anyone of you guys wouldn't be mad suss of an older blonde boy befriending Jason.

Fool me once.

Shame on you.

Fool me twice...

Damn...

Also reading the series prior and than this means everyone agrees with Jason.

Like we saw Percy fight for his life over and over and are just like... Oh you bitches gonna have a rude awakening when you face real monsters 💅🏽.

I have no idea what the quest would be but I'd want them to all line up to the next big prophecy.

Instead of it coming out of nowhere.

Hazel does come around but later on because of the doors and with her so does Nico.

[rinravenkeep]

The Trees are part of the Squid's Plan! (major main quest spoilers)

After spending way too long playing through the new quests in SSO, I've come up with a theory. A real long theory. That the Life Wardens are siding with both Dark Riders and Soul Riders in order to repair the Wild Weave and reconnect with one another, inadvertently helping the Dark Riders to free Garnok.

Lemme explain.

This is the map in the Fort Maria portal room. It shows the seven major Life Wardens that we know of, but it also gives us some clues about the story going forwards.

First, the obvious.

Yeah, there's no way that little illustration in the corner is anything but Ol' Squiddy's Tentacles. But we knew he was imprisoned between worlds, in neither Pandoria nor Jorvik - so finding out he's been chilling in the Wild Weave, or a location only accessible by it, makes sense.

Next, when it comes to putting a name to each of these trees I think most are fairly self explanatory. We've known about most of these trees for years, even if they've never been a part of the story, such as with the Ice Tree by the Stonecutter's Vault in Dino Valley, and the Unnamed Tree way up near where you finish the Red String Trail in the Firgrove Mountains.

Where it gets interesting is with the two trees I couldn't place; such as the one between the Sentinel Tree in Mistfall and the Ice Tree in Dino Valley; and the one on the far left, signified by floating islands.

In my mind it makes sense to have a couple of the trees sprouting in Pandoria, since the two worlds are connected by the tree roots - and the only floating rocks I know about are in Pandoria - but who knows.

Overlaying the normal map on top of these locations makes it pretty clear that they're supposed to correspond to real map locations. The only anomaly is the Ice Tree and Sentinel Tree, whose positions are reversed on the portal map.

What's interesting is that Garnok, if I'm following the map's logic correctly, would hold exactly the same positioning as the Dark Core Oil Rig.

(For context, we know the Rig's position from old skybox errors that used to show it when stood in the right spots, some maps from the books (which I know aren't always canon anymore, but hey it's the best we've got) and, most recently, if the player looks South when entering Devil's Gap, thanks to that little black hole we helped Sunshine open up recently.)

Where am I going with all this? Okay!

Firstly, we know that the trees have helped the Dark Riders in the past. The Life Wardens have repeatedly said the only loyalty they have is to each other, and quite frankly after what the Jarl did, who can blame them. (Thanks Jon).

This is going into massive spoiler territory for the most recent quest as of 17/1/24 so if you haven't completed it yet, flee.

The Sentinel Tree in the Wildwoods has been corrupted by Pandorian magic for a while now. But in the newest quest, we saw Sabine using the Runesmasher to break into it and create a portal to free Erissa.

Side tangent about the hammer:

For those who didn't play the Halloween quests, basically one of the Jarl's servants got the ice valley smith to make a hammer that could destroy runestones, broke one open, and a Vala witch gave him immortality. Aka. Sive (or an identical Vala witch), who is deeply connected with the Life Wardens and who probably gave Sabine the hammer when we saw her in Devil's Gap, has no problem with this action.

The Life Wardens, or at the very least Sive, their ally, wanted the portal opened and Erissa freed.

Why?

To re-grow the Wild Weave.

Assuming Garnok's position on my map was correct, the only way the Dark Riders now have to free him is to go directly through the Wild Weave.

And since we're good people who like nature... yeahhh the Soul Riders are totally going to end up healing some trees and inadvertently opening the path to Garnok wide open.

Oh yeah. We're going to mess up royally.

[rosys-fans-fics]

Emerald Grove Group Timeline

One thing that’s confused me about act 1 is when people have arrived in the emerald grove and left it. We have a lot of moving parts going on so let me list them all out.

Spoilers below for some Emerald Grove quests and secrets

Arriving

The Teiflings - they arrive being chased by a gnoll party as we know many of the Teiflings saw their friends killed by goblins and gnolls before arriving at the grove.

The Gnoll party - this is the group that attacks the Teiflings initially and kills people like Lihala, Alfira’s mentor.

Dissected Drow Goblin party - the drow being dissected by Halsin attacked Halsin and Nettie while they were meditating.

The shadow Druids - the three rats that are getting Kahga to do the rite of thorns.

Aradin’s Crew first arrival - they have to arrive at the grove not being cashed by goblins. This includes Aradin, Remira, Barth, Liam, the three dead adventurers at the bridge, two new dead adventures in the goblin camp (I believe they are new), and Brian the dwarf being roasted.

Wyll- he arrives after the nautiloid shows up because him and Karlach get on it while in the hells.

Findal- the Hafling/Gnome in the underground passage who’s knocked out.

Goblin tunnel party - these are the goblins that are in the tunnel to the grove between the prisons to the left side of the gate.

The Gate goblin party - this is the goblin party we fight outside the grove.

Aradin’s crew second arrival - Aradin arrives outside the grove with only Remira and Barth

Zorru’s scouting party - Zorru and the Teifling who we find being eaten by the Ogrers went scouting and ran into the Githyanki on the risen road near the mountain pass.

Nymessa and Damays - the Teiflings who find Lae’zel in the goblin camp. They get in before the second goblin party attacks.

Leaving

Aradin and Halsin - Halsin joins Aradin’s crew to investigate the abandoned Selûnite temple

Zorru’s scouting party - either left before entering the grove to scout ahead or left right after arriving with main Teifling party

Nymessa and Damays - leave to check out the nautiloid explosion.

Grove Gate Policy

Halsin’s Grove policy - while Halsin is at the grove, anyone can come in. He freely offers shelter to the Teifling refugees and lets Aradin’s crew to set up camp.

Kagha’s and Zevlor’s Grove Policy?

This one is a bit confusing because we know that Kagha wants every non Druid out of the grove but during the ‘open the bloody gate cutscene’ we have Kanon telling us that he was ordered by Zevlor to not let anyone in. If you wait to trigger the dialogue, you can hear Aradin yelling to go get Zevlor and Kanon yelling back that he’s been informed. Once the battle is over and if you avoid triggering the confrontation cutscene, Aradin and Zevlor have dialogue where Aradin says he blames Zevlor for not opening the gate. We also have Remira saying they shouldn’t have trusted the Teiflings.

But we also know that the grove was expecting Halsin to return. Was Zevlor going to keep the gate closed until he could verify it was Halsin? Or was Kagha going to keep Halsin out to preform the right of thorns?

So I believe that when Aradin and Halsin left the grove, they were expecting an easy return but Kagha has Zevlor keeping a tight hold on who comes in and out. This is also why I think Wyll showed up before Halsin left.

Known Grove Activities

What have these people been doing?

We know from the banter between the Teifling couple that the Teiflings were on the road for 3 days before being attacked by gnolls and goblins.

Halsin has to dissect the Drow and realize the tadpoles are different from regular tadpoles.

Zevlor and Aradin get to hate eachother. These two haven’t met before the grove so in that window of time where they meet before Aradin leaves with Halsin, they grow to hate eachother a lot.

Kagha is able to turn the grove mostly against the outsiders. This was probably easy for her as there were multiple stressors on the grove.

Kagha being influenced by the shadow Druids.

Arabella tries to steal the idol and gets caught.

Proposed timeline

Shadow Druids make contact with Kagha and influence her to believe the rite of throne is needed to keep the Grove safe from the absolute cult.

Halsin and Nettie are attacked by the Goblin party led by the male Drow.

Halsin dissects the male Drow and finds out the tadpole is different.

The Teiflings are attacked by the Gnolls and many are killed by goblins as they flee to the grove.

Halsin convinces the other Druids to let the Teiflings stay.

Zorru’s scouting party leaves the grove. (This can happen anywhere between Teiflings arriving to Nymessa and Damays investigating the crash).

Aradin’s crew arrives at the Grove. He most likely didn’t come across any goblins because he didn’t know the temple was filled with goblins.

Aradin and Zevlor have conflict most likely over Aradin being okay with Halsin accompanying him and probably Aradin being confrontational.

Halsin leaves with Aradin putting Nettie in charge of keeping the dissected Drow secure and Kagha leading the grove.

Kagha convinces the other Druids they need to preform the rite of thrones.

Zorru returns from scouting and tells everyone about the githyanki.

Nautiloid crashes at night

Wyll arrives at the grove and endures himself to the Teiflings

Nymessa and Damays leave to investigate the crash and return.

Final is ambushed by goblins while gathering herbs and is knocked out in the underground passage.

Arabella tries to steal the idol and gets caught.

Aradin and his remaining crew return to the grove followed by the Goblin party and the player party.

So yeah, that’s my rough reconstruction of what’s happened at the grove before we arrive. Lots of moving parts so let me know if I miss anything!

[redgoldsparks]

March Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 4 by Ryoko Kui

I'm reading these books so fast I can barely remember which parts of the plot happened in which volume but know that I am still having a great time!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 5 by Ryoko Kui

Oh, this story has taken a darker turn, and also just introduced a whole bunch more characters. Will I be able to keep track of them all? I hope so!

Dragon Keeper by Robin Hobb, read by Anne Flosnik 

Unfortunately, this is definitely the weakest Robin Hobb book I've read so far. I was expecting to like it less than the glorious, 5-star previous trilogy, but I actually think I'm going to skip the rest of the Rain Wild Chronicles and read summaries online to get to the next Fitz books. This book follows five main POV characters. This works fairly well for the first half, when the characters are all in different physical locations. However once all of the characters meet up, we start getting the same scene from multiple different POVs, which feels extremely repetitive. Also, almost EVERY SCENE includes a flashback, often a lengthy flashback, sometimes to something that happened only the previous day and could have been told as present-moment action. This writing choice baffled me. It's something I can't remember struggling with in any of Hobb's previous books, but by the end it was driving me up a wall. The book also moved very slowly; the stakes feel lower, and the character far less emotionally true than in the two Fitz trilogies. Disappointing, but I will keep moving forward towards the next part of the series I want to read.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 6 by Ryoko Kui

Damn, a lot of characters get murdered in this volume! Good thing almost everyone who dies in the dungeon can be revived. Also, very excited to finally meet the cat ninja I've been seeing fan art of since before I even started the series :3

Delicious in Dungeon vol 7 by Ryoko Kui

I am still completely caught up in this series. I love the glimpse of Senshi's past revealed in this volume, and the lore of the dungeon that is still being revealed. There was a line in here about how the dungeon leaves you alone if you don't ask much of it, but that if you have strong desires it throws even more obstacles into your way. Our heroes have such big goals right now, but they're marching ahead regardless!

School Trip by Jerry Craft 

A satisfying new installment in the New Kid series from funny, talented, charming Jerry Craft! I appreciated how this volume started to complicate some of the students who had been left a bit one-dimensional in previous books. Several people stood up to and called out a bully; new friendships were built; and Jordan Banks left Paris even more inspired than ever to follow his dreams of becoming an artist. This series has a lot of jokes, but also a lot of heart!

A Frog in Fall (and Later On) by Linnea Sterte 

Minor frog is less than a year old, and is dismayed when winter begins to steal all of the light and warmth from his world. Instead of bunking down safely with his mentor to wait for spring, he sets out on a journey with two vagabond toads passing by on a quest to make it all the way to the tropics. They tramp through the Japanese countryside, encountering tree spirits, new friends, dangers, and views the likes of which minor frog had never even imagined. This is a gorgeous book; every page worth pouring over, an economy of line and detail building a beautiful and mysterious world of talking animals and miniature packaged foods. Made me want to draw.

Dark Rise by CS Pacat read by Christian Coulson 

In 1820s London, orphaned Will tries to earn enough as a dockworker to survive- and evade the killers pursuing him. Violet dresses in her half-brother's clothes and sneaks onto a ship in the Thames to watch a man be branded with his master's mark. Katherine excitedly anticipates her engagement to one of London's richest and most mysterious lords; his gallantry nearly makes up for the fact that he's twice her age. And in the bowels of one of that lord's ships, James tortures a man for information. All of these characters are 16 or 17 years old, but all of them are tangled in an ancient conflict between the Light and the Dark which stretches back into an age of magic before history. This is CS Pacat's YA fantasy debut, and it contains a lot of tropes very familiar to both YA and high fantasy- there are shades of both Tolkien and Rowling in this. Its fast-paced and action-packed, but especially in the first third of the story, the characters all felt fairly thin. None of them have quirks, hobbies, career hopes, relationships outside of immediate family, school, or work; or much more than a brief sketch of past. It took until the mid-way point for what I consider Pacat's major strengths as a writer to emerge: intense, homoerotic interpersonal sparring between characters operating under major power imbalances. Every scene in which the seductive, manipulative, powerful evil gay faced off against the good boy chosen one crackled with energy. Unfortunately, there were only four of these scenes in the whole book. It ends on a cliff-hanger, because of course it does, with a tempting set up for book two; but that doesn't entirely excuse the fact that the first 50% felt like set up. I will definitely keep reading, but long-time Pacat fans should take note that this is toned down version of what I expected based on Captive Prince.

Feeding Ghosts by Tessa Hulls (re-read before event)

What an accomplishment! I savored every page of Feeding Ghosts, absolutely floored by the labor and courage that went into the writing of this book. The inking is gorgeous, the history is clear, digestible, and devastating. This book threads the line between honesty and compassion in a way that I appreciate so much in any memoir, but especially one dealing with family. Hulls lays out the story of three generations of women starting with her grandmother, Sun Yi, a Shanghai journalist who faced intense persecution during the rise of Communism in China, who penned a popular and scandalous memoir and then suffered a mental breakdown. This left her only daughter, Rose, a student at an elite boarding school with no parental figures and no other family to lean on. Eventually Rose earned a scholarship to an American university and in the end moved her mother into her California home. Sun Yi haunted that home during the author's own childhood. The unexamined trauma and codependency of Sun Yi and Rose drove the author to the extreme edges of the Earth, seeking freedom from their ghosts. But in the end, she stopped running from her family history and turned, instead, to face it. Shelve this book with Maus, Fun Home, Persepolis and The Best We Could Do. Re-read it for a second time and got even more out of it on a second pass.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 8 by Ryoko Kui

Laios and company realize that their encounter with changling mushroom rings had more consequences than they'd realized- its the body swap episode! This visual humor is contrasted against increasing dangers from both above and below, as nastier monsters and political machinations begin to close in on our heroic adventuring party. I'm now over halfway through this series and almost feel like I should start reading it more slowly to savor it, but I'll probably just keep devouring it instead.

Lunar New Year Love Story by Gene Luen Yang and Leuyen Pham

High school senior Val grew up knowing her family was unlucky in love; for generations, relationships in her family have ended in heartbreak. Her childhood love of Valentines Day ends with a shocking family revelation and what feels like the beginning of a curse. Then her Vietnamese grandmother sweeps her off to a Lunar New Year celebration in downtown Oakland and a pair of cute lion dancer boys catch her eye. Could one of them break the spell on her heart? This story offers a classic and satisfying rom-com, with Val torn between an outgoing, rich, but flaky boy and a broody, shy, loyal one. The story takes several kdrama style twists and includes ghosts, saints, red envelopes, confessions, fights, reunions, tears, and kisses. For a comic, its wordy; the pages are dense with small panels and thick with dialogue, but also illustrated with such warm, humor, and realism. I really liked that the story included as much of Val's relationship with her family and best friend as romance. And the lion dancing scenes practically leap off the page with color and energy!

Witch Hat Atelier vol 10 by Kamome Shirahama

This series remains as visually stunning as ever but I'm struggling with how every single book expands the cast. There are so many characters now that I don't care about that much, and have trouble remembering from volume to volume. I wish the story line would stick more closely to Coco, her classmates, and their main mentors!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 9 by Ryoko Kui

Oh the stories are all converging! The savior at the bottom of the dungeon is probably a demon! Ituzumi saves the day! I am still having a great time reading this series.

A Dowry of Blood by ST Gibson read by Abby Craden 

A short, very queer, very poly retelling of Dracula focusing on his coven of enthralled lovers. I liked the way the book breezed through history, as the dysfunctional little family moved from one major European city to the next, with snatched moments of glittering joy interwoven with violence and plague. The story is fairly simple, and has a happier ending than I expected, or honestly think the characters deserved.

City of Dragons by Robin Hobb

I DNFed the previous book in this series and just read a summary online before skipping ahead to this one. I think that was a very good choice for me. This third one was more engaging and a bit more action packed, with some cool discoveries about the city of Kelsingra and the nature of Elderlings. But the Rain Wild Chronicles as a whole do not stand up to the quality of the Farseer books. There are so many POV characters that a few of them get only two or three scenes in this whole book. I don't feel that I deeply know any of these characters; while at the same time watching Hobb pair them off at an extraordinary rate- in the last book five sets of characters got together and in this book an additional two couples are developing feelings for each other. Between this and a kidnapping, a birth, a murder, and a lot of blackmail, this series feels like a soap opera.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 10 by Ryoko Kui

Almost two TPKs in this volume, yikes!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 11 by Ryoko Kui

You know shit's getting serious when the character who has been the series main villain up until now is partially devoured by a different, worse villain. Exciting changes coming to this dungeon under it's new lord and master!

Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall and Lisa Sterle

When Becca gets invited to sit with the popular girl clique at her new high school, she's thrilled. But the friendship turns bloody and complicated when she learns that her new friends are actually werewolves who need to kill and feed on a human once a month. If she joins them, Becca will gain superhuman strength and a pack; she'll never have to fear a male predator again, because she will be a predator herself. I loved the queer rep and the twist on werewolf lore; I wish it had been a little longer and more developed. Give me multi-page transformations sequences!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 12 by Ryoko Kui

I love seeing all these plot lines come together! Building towards a wild climax.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 13 by Ryoko Kui

I went out and *bought* vol 13 of this series because my library didn't have it yet, that's how hooked I am. And now I have to wait until JULY for the final volume! (But also, thank goodness I didn't get into this series any sooner or I'd have a much longer wait).

[eewtp]

Not a PJO Show Review*

Now I was so excited for a truthful adaptation of the books and I am left just disappointed with every new episode that comes out. First of all, why was this fourth episode not even 30 minutes long? ?

Anyway, one of my main issues so far includes pacing of the story. It’s very much stuck in a “rushed but at the same time slow” moving kind of pace, which is insanely weird. In one episode they spend all their time in one place but the writing tries to cram so much detail into that episode that everything rushes by with dialogue instead of action. It’s so weird I can’t even describe it well, but the point is that there is entirely too much of the characters walking you across the street with dialogue only readers could actually follow/understand.

(For example; Zeus is pissed that the bolt is missing and wants it back by the summer solstice or else he’ll start a war. The solstice is in a few days. This is mentioned once/twice and nobody has shown even an ounce of urgency to find the bolt. It’s just expected of you to remember that fact while the show does nothing to remind you of it- the sun is always out and it’s not stormy to show just how mad Zeus is, the characters calmly walk and chat and never once mention the bolt again, etc.)

The exposition dumping does not help at all; a sentence or two to describe something important only for the talking to drag on with the expectation that you know what they’re talking about. Grover absolutely running through what CHB is all about, the entire point of the kids’ quest, Annabeth being the daughter of wisdom (so far there has not been one instance where this is proven, just mentioned offhandedly). There’s hardly any personality attached to any one character because all they do is rapidly explain things.

Now, exactly why are they going to the Underworld? To save Sally, yes; but what does that have to do with the bolt? At this point their mission is Sally, not the quest- the Hellhound chase scene was cut from the show, so now there is no indication at all that Hades might have had something to do with the missing bolt. Poseidon and Zeus are pointing fingers at each other (which was either not mention or I missed it because of how off handed this detail was), so why in the world would Hades play a part in this? Because these three hate each other? Again, only readers would be inclined to think like this because their hatred was never emphasized or expanded upon.

(Are they hoping to just ask and receive some kind of news about the bolt? They have no lead as to where the bolt may be, so going to Sally’s aid first and then figuring out details with the bolt is so questionable. Again, this is far from showing the urgency of the situation)

Also, Luke’s betrayal is going to be interesting. He’s the one who let the Hellhound in, which put the entirety of camp in danger for his own goals. Without this, he’s just some guy who doesn’t agree with the situation they’re currently in- he’s not dangerous or evil, so far he’s just there.

Friendships are just not there. They say Luke and Annabeth are like family but they’ve spoken once. They say Luke and Percy are tentative friends but all they did was have a tour around camp. They say Percy and Grover are best friends but their conversations mainly revolve around dumping exposition.

There’s more I have to say but I’ll just say I have hope the show will make up for this iffy start. It’s not too much, but it’s there-ish.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I have to ask where to fefeta and Erisol fit into your theories. Obviously fefeta exploding due to to two different people trying to apologize to her then arguing caused her to explode, and probably hint that the two halves are pitch for each other. But what about Erisol, why out of all alpha sprites, he is the most stable? What does it say about Eridan and Sollux? And a possible relationship of theirs or lack of one

Is Erisol the troll-sprite embodiement of Terezi’s and Gamzee’s shitty relationship. Absolute fucking disgusting codependence that allows them to wallow in their self pity. If that’s the case Eridan would be like a comfortable blanket for sollux, but not a good relationship

Why did Skaia give Eridan a quest that is knew Eridan would royally fuck up due to being raised as the next orphaner and thus have a trigger finger on anything big and white. Is Skaia stupid? Could Eridan come back to it at a later date and find that his quest is now to help the angels rebuild? Is it because Skaia accidentally made Satan and tried to set its most powerful aspect to beat it, overriding character development for hope players?

Answering these one by one:

For my thoughts on Erisol and Fefeta, see this essay and this essay.

It's hard to say why Gamzee brought the trolls back; I have an ask in my inbox positing that he's trying to set up pitch relationships (which I like the thought of) - I'm still rereading this part of the comic, so it's not super clear to me, either. I don't want to speculate when I can't be sure of my opinion.

Lastly, we don't actually know what quest Skaia gave to Eridan. We know that Eridan received prophesies from the angels of their lord, whom he believes he was meant to defeat, but it's unclear if this was his planetary quest, or some side thing he had to deal with, similar to how Feferi has an overhanging prophecy to "unite the two races" and Karkat has his to "bring equality and forgiveness between all bloodlines."

However, what we do know is that free will > predestination within this setting (predestination only exists insofar as characters paint themselves into corners with their own choices, but it was still their CHOICES that created those corners, and not the machinations of fate and destiny), and Eridan is the one who chose to give up his destiny of defeating LE:

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson … CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be … CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

It wasn't an insurmountable challenge for him and his team, it was just one that they failed because they couldn't/wouldn't address their personal problems in time, and that he voluntarily abandoned. Moreover, if we assume that, indeed, Eridan's classpect quest WAS to defeat LE, then we can still see a fairly clear character arc set out for him: Eridan's main emotional conflict stems from his inner hope being in anguished conflict with the despair and anxiety he feels toward the future that Alternia laid out for him - orphaner, empress's sea dweller, nobility. As a hope player, his struggle lies in believing in things. It's encapsulated in the way he decries magic as stupid and fake and dumb and bullshit, but he FUCKING LOVES MAGIC, since he collects shitty wands and has no less than 6 wizard statues in his respiteblock.

That anxiety and despair won in the comic, and he went on a killing spree because he felt he had nothing left to live for; in a hypothetical scenario where he DOES manage to grasp his powers and destroy WITH Hope rather than destroying Hope itself, then the opposite would be true: he defeats his anxiety and despair, asserting a new belief for a better and brighter future, shooting a beam of "make impossible things possible" through LE's otherwise unconditionally immortal heart.

[fizzlewizard404]

Ok, the more I've thought about it, the more I think I understand why the conclusion they gave the Collector was so off to me. And I think it was mainly two things; the execution of it, and the vagueness of it. Let me explain.

Disclaimer! I am not claiming to know everything about writing or how to do it, so take this with a grain of salt ^^

(Major spoilers below!!! You've been warned!)

First of all, I feel the need to clarify that, a lot of the vagueness here does probably have a little bit to do with how much time they had left for this. (The shows cancelation and all that.) The crew had about, like, 10 minutes to properly wrap everything up? So they needed to make it fast enough to fit as much in. With a good majority of the characters and the conclusion of their arcs, there just isn't that much to go that in depth into.

Luz? She can properly travel between both realms now, her insecurities and guilt complex have been dealt with, and she can properly be herself around the people she loves.

Eda? While, she does still have to deal with the curse, shes properly accepted it as a part of her, and feels free to be around the people she loves.

King? While he's definitely still got a lot to learn about himself, he's more free to do so than ever and has the support and help to do so from the people around him, and those he loves. I can go on with basically everyone else, but I think you get the idea by now.

The more I think about it, in theory/concept, I think having the Collector go back to space can work. But you have to establish three main things in order for it to do so.

1) Give us enough of an idea for what exactly he will be doing in space to grow as a person. Presumably, to me anyway, I feel like they're most likely on some kind of quest to undo as much of their siblings's doings. Until, potentially facing them directly again.

2) Make sure to note that the Collector is fully aware of the fact that he has a genuine and loving support group/found family that he can return whenever he feels the need to see them again. And especially make it clear that they do just that when they can. Not too often, but still somewhat regularly.

3) Inforce the fact that the aforementioned support system/found family (Luz, King and Eda, though this can include others later on) really do care about the Collector's well being and that they are willing to be there for him when they can be.

Alrighty!! Now that I have those things out of the way, let me explain how the show messed up properly showcasing them, despite how expertly everything before this was handled.

When the epilouge's beginning starts after Luz has finally put an end to Belos's evil-doing, we get to see everyone slowly start getting use to the new circumstances of their home. None of it can ever be the same way it was before, but that's definetely for the better in most cases. After all, everyone's gone through a lot as of recently. Especially this episode.

Including, (and in my opinion, most of all) the Collector. For the last ??? amount of years, everything in their life has been... stagnent, inauthentic and overall not great. Even during what we saw during For The Future. Despite it's happy, cheery and colorful surface, it was only really a facade to mask the lack of actual care and support that Collector has in his life.

The stories and adventures he plays out with King are like his own interpretation from a game of broken telephone. They can only really immitate the genuine experience and connection formed when the real thing happened. All the denizens of the Boiling Isles are reduced to a sparkly, cute puppeted version of themselves. Lacking any real emotion in order to go along with the tone of the story.

Realistically speaking, King is the only somewhat genuine thing in the Collector's world. He's the only person that they can trust and talk to. Sure, he techically has his distant, idealized connection with Eda, but she's (at least to the Collector's knowledge) always stuck as the owl beast. So that's kind of impractical for him.

In all of these stories and games of pretend, the Collector takes what would otherwise be Luz's role in King's life. They're jealous of the relation she's had with King for so long. Collector knows that while he's close to King, they can't be as close to him as Luz.

Going by this information, we can come to the conclusion that the Collector desperately wants to have real friends, and people who won't use him or lie to him. Much like how his (presumably) distant, but still likely very ill-intentioned siblings, the Archivists did. First so they wouldn't have to deal with him, and later to take all his friends away. This pattern continued with Belos, which also lead to betrayal and abandonment for the Collector.

For his entire life, Collector has struggled grasping empathy and the overall concept of death. He said it himself, clear as day. "Toys break all the time! You just fix em'!". There is a fundamental misunderstanding for him in this regard that they are unaware of.

As for the struggle with empathy, his status as an all-powerful immortal tends to make him kinda unapproachable for most non-immortals. So in order to actually play with people who he wants to play with, but are afraid of him, he forces them to do so against their wills.

Near the beginning of Watching and Dreaming, Luz and Co. are finally able to try explaining what it means to understand other people to the Collector. And after a bit, it seems like they're finally starting to get it. Kindness and forgiveness! Who guessed it was that easy all this time?? Soon after this, the Collector tries applying his newly found morals towards the first person they can. Unfortunately for everyone, that person is the furthest thing from somebody who can be reasoned with.

The Collector starts to feel as if they can finally fix things, only to nearly get blasted by Belos, mere seconds later. Thankfully, Luz swept in to safe him and tries explaining to him that he did do the right thing, just... not with the right person. Soon enough, we find out that Luz did get grazed by Belos's power. She immediately starts disintegrating and disappearing before everyone, but more specifically, before the Collector's eyes. Moments after this, Collector is... scared, but mainly confused. King and Eda are completely speechless, only being able to stare ahead of them. The Collector tries to bring Luz back, only for nothing to happen. Things go from bad to worse when King and Eda lose themselves entirely and start fighting off Belos.

In this moment, right before Luz comes back with her titan powers, the Collector is about the lowest they've been in forever. Having just realized that they can't just fix everything with the snap of their finger, and completely powerless to do ANYTHING. King and Eda are there, but they're not there. Luz is gone. There's nowhere they could go from here. It's hopeless.

A bit after Luz comes back, the Collector decides to do something with their currently fading power and help everyone in the Archives (yknow, from falling hundreds of feet in the air towards their certain deaths).

After Belos is defeated and all the goop goes away, the Collector gently falls onto the floor of the Archives, exhausted. The moment they see Amity (someone he doesn't know well, but knows is close to Luz) walk towards him, he covers his head, expecting for her to start scolding or even attacking him. But she doesn't. She reaches her hand out to him as a friendly sign of peace, and understanding. His face literally lights up when this happens.

After all of this, while I think that Collector really can't be in the Isles all the time, considering how many people probably won't be that ok with having him around all the time after what he did, it's still obvious to me that they do finally have people who they can lean on and properly be better around. Luz, King and Eda.

...Too bad that their send-off scene doesn't make any that clear!! Like, whatsoever!!

While, yeah you can say that the main trio are DEFINITELY also exhausted after everything, I don't think that would make them all of a sudden be totally fine with the Collector leaving into space on his own.

Firstly, unless we can assume that what I said earlier about him undoing the Archivists's damage where he can, it seems like he's just, isolating himself so he can't hurt anyone until he feels worthy enough to ~maybe~ go back to the Boiling Isles eventually? You know. Like the same thing Luz wanted to do in Thanks To Them because she felt like a burden onto everyone around her? But there atleast, the show made it clear that everyone seeing Luz confess to this, had a problem with it.

During this scene. We don't see anyone other than King go after the Collector. Sure Luz is looking, but that still doesn't count for much. The phrasing of King's last onscreen words to the Collector are "I hope I see you again" before he gives them François. The way this was worded makes the idea of King giving François to the Collector seem more like an almost permanent goodbye gift. Like, the two of them won't be seeing each other again, or at least for a LOONG WHILE.

I think that adding on a "soon" at the end of "I hope I see you again" could've made it a lot better, and make it more obvious that François being given to the Collector is to remind them of their newly found family and that they will be there for him, wherever he is in the universe. Which I feel is way more fitting coming from King. Like his own version of "I don't know what the future holds, but it would be so cool if you were in it" to the Collector.

One thing that I feel like made everything make way less sense is the "No one argued" line from Luz. It makes literally no sense to me considering everything they've been through together? Like?? You'd think Luz and Eda would atleast ask him if he'll be okay going away on his own?? Considering that Luz was able to recognize where the Collector was at the beginning of the episode, it feels extremely out of character for her not to recognize what they're going through here, especially when taking into account that she went through something VERY similar as of very recently herself??

As for Eda, she just kind of, lays back away from the whole situation to begin with? For some reason? Which also feels weird to me since she was also open to being there for him earlier in the episode? She's grown enough at this point to know what to say to kids when she can tell they're not doing well at the moment. Not to mention how she would also probably be able to recognize the Collector trying to isolate themselves as something she's also gone through to protect the people she cares about!! She's fully aware it doesn't work out well when you have absolutely no one by your side! So I feel like having her atleast also reminding the Collector that they're all here for him would've meant a lot more.

As for why all of this came off as really jarring to a lot of people (i'm mainly using myself as an example here btw), The Owl House has always been a show that's overall narrative message has been about found family for different people. The main example I'll be using here is for neurodivergent people. Whether or not it's something like ADHD, autism, or any kind of personality disorder.

The Collector, to me anyway, is extremely ND coded in a few ways. So, in a way, to me personally, having it seem like nobody out of the main trio was actually concerned with the Collector's well being in this scene, felt... jarring? It gave off the message of "neurodivergent people deserve love and belonging, unless they have unstable emotional regulation and struggle grasping empathy, in which case it's okay if they isolate themselves from the people they love because those loved ones don't care about them enough to where they would have a problem with the person isolating themselves", which would be ridiculously insensetive and insulting from what's otherwise such an open-minded and emotionally mature show. I read it this way when I first watched the episode when it aired, and I feel safe to say that it was not what I needed to hear at the moment. I feel like I'm doing better now, and I understand why it hit me the way it did considering everything I mentioned earlier.

I'm not calling anybody who worked on TOH ableist for any of this, and I want to make that clear. This was obviously unintentional on their end and I'm glad that I can understand that now. This show has been here for me and so many other people through so much and other than this on gripe I have with the Collector's send-off scene, the finale was everything I could've asked for and more. That's all.

[chimerafeathers]

thinking about Frieren and Dungeon Meshi today and just remembered seeing a post/comment or two saying that people have no reason to compare the two stories since they have nothing in common except being non-isekai fantasy. different tones, different pacing, different themes, etc.

i don't know if whoever said that were dunmesh manga readers or not, but i kinda assume they were making judgments based purely on however much of the anime was released at the time, because i think about how similar these stories are a LOT, actually.

[spoilers for the dungeon meshi manga below, and a little bit of frieren manga]

i think that's a pretty fair assessment to make based JUST on the "prologue"/setup arc leading up to the red dragon. while some of the main themes are very in-your-face, others are still being woven into the characters and established much more subtly, and we don't get the full weight and payoff for that early work until later into the story.

Frieren establishes its identity within the first episodes and never drastically deviates from that first impression. on the other hand, dunmesh takes its time to build its foundation...but instead of using it as groundwork to build a house above, it then leads you into the depths of the dungeon below.

the stuff about conflicts between long-lived and short-lived races seem like just jokes/banter and a touch of political worldbuilding, in the beginning, but that tension is absolutely central to both Marcille and Kabru's arcs. both Frieren and dunmesh are about elves facing their (near) immortality in contrast with the brief mortality of their companions.

I think about the ways Frieren, with a thousand years of life behind her, carries the memories of those she's outlived along with her and all the ways she emulates them to preserve their lives and values. I think about the way Marcille, with a thousand years of life ahead of her, clings so tightly to the people she holds dear and fears the future she sees beyond their deaths.

I think about the way Serie talks about training Flamme on a whim, casually dismissive of short human lifespans. I think of the way Kabru resents the way elves treat short-lived species like children and fights so desperately for their agency and right to speak on the same level as the rest, fully informed of the dangers that threaten them all instead of being left in the dark.

beyond that, too--you can really feel that these series come from a place of love for the genres that inspired them. dunmeshi's speculative biology for the monsters and the ecosystem they're a part of, the exploration of how and why different races get different "stat" bonuses (dwarven constitution, half-foot perception, tall-man versatility, elven/gnomish magical affinity), the side comic about "Grease" as a starter spell--all obviously come from deep knowledge and affection for D&D and/or similar rpgs.

meanwhile, Himmel gives thoughtful weight to doing "side quests" for paltry rewards--they help because they're heroes, but they accept scraps and useless items for rewards because no one wants to feel pitied or indebted to anyone. he says they "went the wrong way" if they find the stairs to the next floor in a dungeon, because the "right" way is to explore every nook and cranny first before you progress. it would be very easy to mock how annoying fetch quests are, or make the dungeon bit a pure joke--but this is a story that relishes the process and the journey of it all, down to the smallest detail and silliest quest.

flashbacks to Falin being achingly kind and gentle, and also strange and awkward. flashbacks to Himmel being blindingly heroic and noble, and also vain and goofy.

these are both stories about the weight of death and loss and the things we'll do to see our loved ones one last time, when we are destined and doomed to outlive them. they're about the joy of the journey even when it's painful, thriving on silliness even when things are "serious," and loving the people in your life knowing you will lose them, and how you carry them with you when they're gone. dunmeshi is heavier on the comedy side of things, but both have their fair share of emotional gutpunches, and their themes and values mirror each other.

all this to say, these stories are holding hands.

[a-little-lostecho]

(warning - HSR Belobog Arc Ending Spoilers)

I know they mention it a lot in canon but like… has anyone else ever really paused and thought about all the worlds we will have to leave behind as Trailblazers? Coming and going forever, only ever being able to truly call the Express ‘Home’ but even then, the words are heavy on the tongue.

Does anyone else think about how little time they really spend there? How many trails they’ve blazed before disappearing without a trace save for the changes they’ve since left in a domino effect. Belobog took a few days for the main quest alone — perhaps two weeks if you want to include the sub-quests and story quests. And then they never go back. 700 years they’d wait — Bronya said — and it wasn’t an exaggeration.

“Dan Heng how long can humans live for?”

“…Forever. But in those situations they wouldn’t be considered human anymore.”

It’s easy to forget that we may never see those people again in that world, as they are, as they’ve become, because we as the player can always teleport back with a few clicks of a button but the characters do not get the same liberties. They have left, to never return, lest they accidentally cause more calamity.

And few of Jarilo-VI have gotten to know them by name, as anything other than “the Outsiders” or, later, “the Trailblazers”. They’re not Nameless because they have no names, they are Nameless because in the grand scheme of things; no one will recognize them by name. Only by the paths they carve and set, by the view of their backs as they set off into the stars again.

Do you think about how quickly they accept the lost onto their ship — how quickly they accept the Nameless and allow them to stay with their own? Because they are all Nameless on the express. Wonderlusters, Lost ones, confused, fearful, grieving, lonely. They accepted the Trailblazer without a second thought, extending hands that were quickly grasped in return and have yet to be let go of. They are the Nameless, they are the trailblazers, they are the lost ones, and they are each other’s family. The Express is not ‘Home’ because none of them have that anymore, but they’ve found each other and in the wake of what they’ve lost or may not have never had, they’ve got each other. They’ve forged their own trail.

Trailblazers in their name and in how they love. Only another trailblazer can truly love a trailblazer. It’s why they gravitate so closely to one another. That small part of their souls resonating with one another and bringing them solace within the vastness of the universe. Pieces of their make-up so similar and lonely and lost that they can’t help but seek out others who are the same.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, honestly, but I’m absolutely enamored with the small feeling their presences makes me feel through the Trailblazer. Platonic, Romantic, or otherwise. Storgé — Is the word for familial love apparently but not found family, so I’m not quite sure it fits. Their impact as well in the universes, beyond their relationship on the Express. It’s all beautiful but always with a touch of melancholy when you sit back to think about it rather than just quickly passing through the planets and stars. It’s lovely, and I’m hard pressed to find a universe that makes me feel so small and important all at once.

Welt said something about feeling helpless when you first step foot on the planet and see for the first time everything that goes on there… and yet I find myself feeling more powerless when I look down from above rather than up from below.

In conclusion, Star Rail is lovely so far, I’m having a great time and will continue to brainrot about this and think too much abt it constantly for a good while <3

[vigilskeep]

Okay the Cassandra and Inquisitor divorce arc has me LOSING IT. what do you think the other companions would do?

because this divorce arc is set largely after cassandra becomes divine, i would imagine most of the companions aren’t even around anymore, which is part of the hell because i always think that there must be a specific kind of depression for video game characters right after the big quest ends and the party starts peeling away

sera is the main one i was thinking abt bc i was imagining this inquisitor as a red jenny and i think it’s so funny for schemes with sera to be, like, right in the middle of your divorce. especially when it’s sooooo the antithesis of cassandra’s restoration of order. also because one of my favourite Scenes In My Head for my inquisitor was the bit where sera drags you along to do a meaningless tiny prank on cullen and my poor guy starts verging on having a panic attack as they move cullen’s desk two (2) inches to the left because his brain gets stuck on screaming that this is a kid messing with a fucking knight-commander’s office and he’s going hey sera please could you stand behind me and let me do it yes i want to stand between you and the door yes i know this is an empty room yes i know it’s just cullen yes i know my hands are shaking— because he is, ahem, not well. and she’s like ooooooookay you freak (bemused, affectionate), baby steps i guess. i give you leave to imagine what this man’s reaction might be to getting templar silenced by the woman he’s in love with even after actively goading her into it, and also slightly less depressing leave to imagine sera seeing a little bit of the delayed reaction and being like nope okay we’re out of here and just, sort of, i imagine her absconding with him out of a window with no further thought as to planning ahead. she doesn’t rlly get the mages thing but she knows what power looks like and that he has less now. also if you can’t treat her friends nice then they’re hers now and she’s not sharing bye cassandra be normaller or fuck off i guess

[nicotachi]

(i was inspired by the prev reblog but i figure my tags were quickly devolving into a "make your own post" moment)

the thing about ganyu is that i REALLY like the lore they've provided us with, enough to construct a complex and nuanced character that goes beyond the few glimpses we see of her in the liyue archon quest.

my hot take is i actually, don't really care whether or not those things are explicitly shown in the main storyline. i ship gq for god's sake, and i've never wanted more than a nod for either (i feel like i always have to clarify: i don't particularly expect or even want them to become canon), because i love when the audience is trusted to connect the dots themselves. i know that in fanwork, there's a fine line between assembling the puzzle pieces deliberately left by the creators and making a sandwich out of discarded bread, but i like to think of it as the former.

but what i don't appreciate is yeah, why are they filling her precious screentime with fat jokes and being sleepy or timid?? chenyu vale already showed that they cannot be normal about a woman without injecting weight insecurities. the sleepy girl thing has also been done so many times that i could name like five female characters who have it as a core personality trait. i just don't understand the logic. hbomberguy once pointed out in his "why r*by is disappointing" video essay that it was almost like two opposing forces were writing the same characters and i see that here a little bit.

ganyu in the side materials (story quest, world quest mentions, body language in the CINEMATICS, etc) comes off as a very firm and wise person, while ganyu in the most recent lantern rite is in a constant state of fatigue or discomfort. neither of those are emotions or personality traits!! she's treated as a placeholder at times when they could easily call back to the other, more interesting things they've written about her in the game.

but as an aside: i don't actually agree with any sentiments that favor her soldier past over her secretary role. i believe both are important parts to her just as she is half qilin and human. to box her into one thing or another kind of misses the point of her character imo, that people contain multitudes, and can drastically change over a long enough stretch of time and circumstances.

[swordswoman97]

So I've been thinking more about what's going on with the temple, and the hooded guys, and Owen and I think I've come up with a theory.

Now as I've said before, I don't think Owen is dead. For one thing, we didn't get a fallen message for him like we did Aimsey and Guqqie on twitter. For another would cc!Owen put that much effort into the casino if he knew he'd never get to build it? He's programmed two games, and started planning a potential third, he's commissioned Ros to build it, and had Luanne design a whole new get up for P!Owen in her "Miss Snapdragon" persona, so much effort went into it so far. Why if it's never gonna happen? And finally, I don't see them adding new members to balance out the factions when they're gonna kill someone else off so soon after.

So Owen is probably alive, possibly being tortured if my theory that the screaming is supposed to be her. Which then brings us to the question of why? What do they want with Owen? Why her? And why keep him alive rather than just turning him to stone like they did Guqqie, like they did that other dude, like they at least seemed to be planning to do to Eret, CPK, and Jojo.

Now I've seen some theories that they wanted Owen specifically cause of something in her backstory but I don't really like this explanation. For one thing it doesn't give much explanation as to why they want him alive rather than just killing him. And they're not using him as bait, they seem to be trying to get people out of that area quickly based on the invisible person who keeps pushing people down the hole back to the beginning. They don't want anyone else lingering there. Plus, when Owen first saw the hooded figures he showed no sign of recognizing their robes. Now while it's possible she ran into part of their organization that doesn't wear the robes, you'd think their non-robed uniform would at least be similar enough to have some resemblance Owen would pick up on. And finally, if they wanted Owen specifically... they sure left that up to chance. Whether Owen just fell into their hands on accident or if it was orchestrated by the hooded guys, it was left very up to chance. What if Owen didn't take the quest? What if Owen brought someone else along?

Which brings me to my theory. I don't think they wanted Owen specifically, they just wanted a pirate and Owen was unlucky enough to be the first to show up. As for why they wanted a pirate, you know how in the temple we see a shrine or something to the Sun God? What if the hooded guys worship the Sun God? Which brings me to the main part of my theory.

Now we know from Owen's and El's backstory that this is a world with homophobia and misogyny. But those aren't things on the isle, three of the four faction leaders are women, no one bats an eye at women in positions of power. Similarly, no one bats an eye at the idea of dudes liking dudes or girls liking girls. Gay shenanigans, women in positions of power, gender weirdness, all just... normal on the faction isles. And they possess what seems to be a very important artifact in the form of the Sunset stone.

If we assume the hooded figures hold similar views to society outside the faction isles, it wouldn't be strange to imagine that they view it as sacrilegious that the pirates have something like the Sunset Stone. If the hooded figures want the Sunset stone it would explain both why they set this particular trap and why they're keeping Owen alive. They didn't care which pirate they got, they just needed a pirate, and they have to have Owen alive to get the information out of her. AND if I'm right that the screaming is her, it would explain why he'd be screaming. He's being tortured to get the info.

Whether I'm right or wrong though, Owen is def not having a good time right now.