#third chapter | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

serraphinm · 4 months ago

Text

☾ Chapter 3 - The Darkness ☾

Notes: This is one of my favorite chapters. I had a lot of fun writing the relationships between the characters and such. You can imagine any outfit however you want if you don't like the ones I describe. Enjoy!

WC: 11k

Warning: Violence and gore. Proceed with caution!!

Taglist: @bready101

Rain pours onto my window and balcony... I had the balcony doors open cause I liked the smell of the rain. Kinda reminded me of her. It's been two moons since everything went down in court. My maids seemed concerned, but it hurt even more knowing one was faking it. Oren and I officially broke off our engagement two weeks after everything went down so things could settle. We even became friends. As my friend, he decided that since it was raining, we should read with warm blankets and drink any drink our little hearts desired. A book is open on my lap; I flip the page with a sigh.

"What's got you all down?" he asks, sipping his tea. Oren was surprisingly fun to be around, and I found myself happy we were friends. I'd come to trust him a little, so maybe it couldn't hurt to tell him about Ellie.

"Let's say I wasn't entirely straight …" I start off slowly, unsure how he'll react.

"Ok…" He looks at me like he's confused about how that matters. I huff and roll my eyes at him.

"Alright, and let's say… I like this girl.."

"Can't relate, but alright," I look at him weirdly before continuing.

"And she… doesn't love me back….."

"Wait, is this about Prince Ellie?" He asks, sitting up straight.

"What- how the fuck did you-"

"Ha! Knew it. My gaydar is never wrong."

That was the thing about Oren. He didn't seem all that straight to me either, but I didn't want to comment on it. Plus, I felt rude for just assuming.

"Your gaydar..? Seriously? What about me set off the alarm bells??"

"You look at that woman like she hung the moon. You kept her letters. Your style is impeccable, and you started listening to AC/DC just 'cause she told you it was good music, which was a big fat lie. Led Zeppelin is way better." He says, listing things off on his fingers. I throw a pillow at him, and he smiles.

"My point is… It was obvious to me, but it won't be obvious to others. The only thing is the letters. Where did you put those, by the way? I saw you carry them out of the courtroom?" he asks, taking another sip of his tea. I sigh, glance at the fireplace, and stick my tongue in my cheek.

"Might've.. Set them on fire.." I mutter. He looks at me like I'm crazy and sets his tea down.

"Bad breakup? You never get over your first…" He mutters that last part, but I still catch it.

"Shut up; we didn't break up; she just-"

"Said you were 'good friends' in front of a courtroom."

"Will you knock it off!" I say, throwing another pillow at him. This time, he catches it and grins.

He sets the pillow down and says, "Look… I know it may not seem like it… But I get it.."

I slowly look back up to him, confused. "What do you mean? Have you ever been in love?"

"Yup.. still am.." He says softly, looking at the ground.

"It's not right?" I ask, looking at him suspiciously. He looks up and glares at me for the first time in our whole friendship.

"I'm gay, Y/n."

"Hi Gay, nice to meet you," I say, grinning at him.

This time, when he throws a pillow at me, I squeal.

"What are you, my dad?" He asks, grabbing another pillow.

"No… you're dad would've called you a fag and beat the shit out of you."

"Ow… no need to get realistic on me here."

"Right, sorry.. At least you have parents."

"Come on…." He says, holding his arms out in frustration.

We burst out in laughter and he relaxes back into the couch.

"Seriously, though, I support you… Who are you crushing on, though?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows.

His face and ears turn a distinct pink. "Well…you know your aide? The one with the black curly hair..?"

"NAKIR?? You like-" His hands are covering my mouth in an attempt to shut me up. I pull his hands off and look up at him.

"That's so cute!! I can find out if he's into men for you." My offer echoed in the room, his face turning a deep red.

"Will you shush! I don't want anyone else to know."

I hold my hands up in mock surrender as he sits back down.

"Ehem, yes, it's Nakir." He sips his tea again and sighs. "I know he's into men, but I just can't get the courage to ask him out."

"Well, I'm not sure how to help you out there… As I'm terrible at it, too.."

We both just sit and sulk for a while when I break the silence.

"Look, how about we both just do our best from here on out. If something good happens or a chance appears… We take it."

Oren looks at me like I'm weird again before sighing. "Alright.. I suppose that'll work for now.."

"So, how has work been?"

"Seriously, you're bringing up work, of all things?"

"Well- I'm curious, alright… It's odd having a Duke that's actually on my side."

"I'm just glad I didn't inherit his cold, dead eyes," Oren says, fiddling with his teacup.

"You know Nakir has cold dead eyes… you sure you're not into that?"

"They're not cold and dead. They're just emotionless." He argues.

"Uh huh.. If you say so."

Bumping into Ellie after that mess of a court is the most awkward and painful thing I've ever done. She says nothing, yet her expressions scream, and all I want to do is get rid of the awkward silence. It happened again today as I walked through the halls of the palace. I decided to go to the library to see what it was all about so I could read about previous queens and how they ruled. Having a plan to change things and actually changing things were, well… two very different things. I turn the corner. Ellie almost runs me over with how fast she's walking. She seemed upset by something, but I didn't dare ask what.

She looks me in the eyes, and I see her own widening. As she takes a step back, I get a good look at her. Her hair was unkempt, more so than usual, and she had bags under her eyes. The sleepless night kind.

We both say nothing for a moment before we both start at once.

"I-

"You-"

Instead of being mature and talking to her like an adult, I decide I'm done with this conversation.

"I need to get to the library… Excuse me.." Obviously, I avoid her eyes and walk around her like some sort of coward before making a beeline for the library. I sigh as I enter the library, my heart heavy. Just moons ago, she was my everything… Now, I'm left picking up the scraps of what once was. I just wanted her back. The library suddenly felt a million miles away, and I wished for nothing more than to rewind to a better moment, to say the right things, to bridge the ever-growing distance between us.

But that was an ever-growing fever dream.

Another few weeks go by, and I've made more changes to my council and even parliament. I was one step closer to making my kingdom something I was proud of. So far, I hadn't been able to determine which one of my maids betrayed me, and I was getting no step closer. Whichever one of them it was had talent in the acting field. When I subtly asked any of them about it, they all gave me accurate answers that I couldn't diffute. Whoever it was would eventually feel my wrath.

Mulling over my thoughts in bed before sleep had become somewhat of a routine for me. So, like every night, I was thinking with my eyes closed. I was also maladaptively daydreaming a bit, too, if I may. However, tonight was… different.

There was a draft that I hadn't felt before, and my skin had goosebumps. I go to open my eyes when I hear movement and a click. Someone was on my balcony… and they had a gun. Reaching under my pillow ever so slowly, I wrap my hand around the dagger handle I kept under there. I open my eyes in the dark room and see three silhouettes. My eyes were already adjusted to the dark, but theirs weren't, so I had to be quick. I roll off the bed and throw my pillow off the bed in the other direction. I land as quietly as I can when a suppressed gunshot goes off. Looking under my bed, I glance to the other side and see feathers everywhere. Suppressing my fear, I crawl over to the nearest couch and hold my dagger high off the ground so it doesn't scrape. I wished I had my phone to call for help, but there was no use in wishing right now.

I had to think this through. There are three armed people in my room with weapons, and they are trying to kill me. If I take one out, the other two will surely kill me. But I couldn't go down without a fight. Maybe if I could make it to the balcony and jump down? The two guards down there were good, but I wasn't sure of the skills these three had yet. I may be safer hiding for now.

One of them creeps to the balcony door and closes it.

Fuck.. that only left two options, kill the three of them or leave through the front door somehow. My chances weren't looking good. If I wanted any information, I'd need to keep one of them alive. Deciding on what to do, I move to a crouch around the couch as they walk through my room. One of the bastards walks into my walk-in closet and steals a pair of my underwear, and I feel myself get red in the face. I was killing that motherfucker first. One stays near the balcony door, while the other stays in my closet, looking for me. Lucky for them, they were going to. My legs shake slightly as I maneuver around my room to the closet. I manage to get behind him and stand before I stab him in the neck. Blood pours from the wound, and I cover their mouth to keep them quiet. I pull the dagger out and hear the sloshing sound it makes before I gag.

Holy shit, I just killed someone.

My whole body shakes as I pat them down and take his suppressed pistol. Quietly, I let out a shaky breath and sneak back out of the closet. All they had on them were bullets and gum, oddly enough. The two other men seemed to have grown impatient and decided to come over. I just barely hide behind a couch when one of them flicks on their flashlight.

"Holy shit. I thought you said this was gonna be an easy job!" One whisper yells.

"They told me it would be! One of her little bitches was gonna leave the balcony unlocked, and we'd just shoot her and leave." The other replies. While they keep talking, I sneak my way to the door. I'm almost there when they come out of the closet and spot me. I screamed as loudly as I could, and they ran over to me.

"You! What the fuck did you do to Bram!" He says as he takes me by the arm and drags me to my feet. I drop my dagger, and he yanks the gun from my other hand. I pull as hard as possible, but his grip is too firm. "With a name like Bram, he had it coming," I say before spitting in his face. If I was dying tonight, I was going out my way. He grumbles, "You bitch.. You're coming with us," and turns me around so my back is pressed up against his chest. His grimy hand covers my mouth, and he nods to the other one. They begin to drag me to the balcony, and I kick and fight as hard as I can. Thinking this is it, I start to sob and scream one last time.

The man dragging me cuffs my wrists, gags me, and hauls me over his shoulder when the door slams open. I can't see who it is, but I decide it can't hurt to try to wiggle my way down. Slamming the metal of the cuffs against his back, the man groans but doesn't let me go. The person who just came in is now getting shot at by these two, and I worry for their safety. I don't hear them get hurt, though. The two remaining men cease their fire to reload.

"Fuck now there's someone else."

"We need to leave. Now. Get her out of here."

But before they can take me any further, the man holding me shot in both legs with a suppressed pistol. He cries out in pain and drops to the floor, me along with him. Once on the floor, I try and roll away.

"For fucks sake, I'm done with this bullshit." The remaining man says, and he aims the gun at me. I see my life flash before my eyes when suddenly a bullet goes through his forehead. He falls to the floor in front of me, and I scream into the gag. Someone puts a hand on me, but I jump and try to get away. I realize it's my savior and look up to see Ellie. She looks down at me, terrified, and looks me over once.

"Are you hurt anywhere??" Panic fills her voice, and she pats me down everywhere. I shake my head, and she grabs her switchblade from her jeans pocket. She slices the gag off me in the back and immediately pulls me into her. For a moment, I feel nothing… but a few seconds later, it all comes flowing out. I sob into her till my mouth is dry. She pulls me onto her lap and, with one hand, grabs the handcuff key from the dead assassin. A click sound follows, and she tosses the handcuffs somewhere before wrapping both arms around me. I was getting blood on her green button-down. My chest felt constricted, but I needed to thank her. I needed to say something.

"Ellie-"

"Breathe normally first. Then we will talk, " she says softly as she looks me over once more. Guards barge into the room and, along with them, light, light on the whole situation.

Three dead bodies.

Three lives taken.

My breathing becomes irregular, and I grasp Ellie's shirt tightly. The world spins, and I can't breathe. Deep, shaky breaths find their way to me before suddenly I'm gasping for air.

Three dead bodies

Three lives taken

One by my hand

I start to whisper it. "Three dead bodies… three lives taken… one by my hand."

I'm sobbing uncontrollably, and no one's voice reaches my ears. I feel a grasp, a pull, but it doesn't register.

"…reathe Breathe Y/n…"

I was trying, wasn't I?

I feel a hand on my back, and suddenly, my senses are filled with pine and bergamot, some weed, rain, and Mother Earth. Big gaping breaths become slower and more controlled as I inhale all that is Ellie.

I needed the darkness again. In the darkness, the light couldn't reach me.

Footsteps surround me, and orders are being yelled, but my head is still foggy. Fingers wipe my face. A forehead kiss so soft and gentle, given by Ellie to me. My mind clears enough for me to whisper, "I want the darkness again.."

Ellie stares into my eyes as more tears flow out of my own. She wraps her arms underneath my knees and my upper back and stands. Too weak to argue or protest, I just let her carry me and rest my head on her shoulder. She leaves my room and goes to hers, where it's dark and empty. I relax a little, yet I'm still shaking uncontrollably. The darkness is so intense here that I can't see anything, unlike my room. I feel Ellie shift, and she sets me fully on her bed. She goes to let me go, and I grab onto her and hold on for dear life.

"Don't worry..just grabbing you a clean shirt and closing the canopy.. promise.."

She whispers, and I slowly let go. I try to follow where she goes but can't see because it's so wonderfully dark in here. A drawer opens somewhere to the right of me, and I hear Ellie's footsteps. She sits back down on the bed and fiddles with the hem of my shirt.

"May I..? Don't worry, I can't see you. We just gotta get this blood-soaked night down off…"

I nodded before realizing she couldn't see me and inwardly facepalmed. I wasn't wearing anything underneath, but it didn't matter.

"Yea.." I say softly. My shirt is gone instantly with a type of skilled practice I don't want to know about. Soft fabric covers me once again, and I smell a bit of pine on this shirt, too. Maybe it was a cologne she used or something.

"Better…?" Her voice is soft; I can tell she's trying to soothe me.

"Mhm.. I.. thank you, Ellie…" I whisper.

I wished I could see her face, but for now, I was happy to hear her soft reply, "No problem… Get some sleep, Y/n.."

I yawned and lay down in Ellie's bed, in her shirt, next to her. It was a dream come true after such a nightmare. It took a while for me to fall asleep, but when I finally did, I certainly didn't remember a thing about it.

The next morning, I woke up with my head on Ellie's neck and my legs wrapped around hers. Realizing the position I'm in, I open my eyes and panic. I needed to leave before Ellie woke up anyway. Slipping out from our position, I sneak out and make my way to the door. Walking around the castle in just Ellie's shirt and some pajama shorts, I realize I have nowhere to go. Cursing, I decided to see the General and speak with him about what had happened the previous night. Knocking on his door, I fiddle with Ellie's shirt. The door suddenly opens, and a butler I've never seen before stares at me in shock before bowing and flustering together apologies. I mutter forgiveness before he moves out of the way and motions for me to enter. General Roe sits at his desk, flicking through papers with a concerned look when I walk in. When he sees me, he immediately stands up and bows to me.

"Your Majesty. I'd like to start by saying how sorry I am that this has happened. We're investigating it right now as we speak." "Thank you for the apology. Can you give me a.. Summary of what transpired last night..?"

He straightens up and motions for me to sit, "Of course. Where would you like me to start?"

"Start with how it happened," I say, sitting down. He follows and straightens the papers on his desk once more before clearing his throat. "They snuck in through the balcony, as I'm sure you already know. However, they killed the guards that were posted there instead of sneaking around them. This tells you they were after your life and possibly to bring you back somewhere with as little risk as possible. They couldn't afford to be caught, so they eliminated the risk instead."

So even if I had made it to the balcony, those men wouldn't have been able to save me. That makes me shiver, and I see a look of concern pass the General's face.

"I see… my condolences to your men.." Sorrow laces my voice as I express my sympathy.

"I'll tell their families, Your Majesty…As for what happened last night… If you can.. Could you explain what happened from your point of view?" His face is etched in concern, but I take a deep breath.

I explained what had happened from beginning to end in as much detail as possible. General Roe seems shocked that I killed a man, but he looks furious when I tell him how one of my maids left the balcony unlocked.

"Why, I ought to have each of them interrogated!" He says, banging his fist on his desk furiously.

"I've been trying to figure out who it is on my own, but I've had no such luck… Perhaps we could avoid hurting them while still figuring it out..?" I ask, a little scared for the innocent three.

General Roe sighs and rubs his temples in frustration. If I didn't know any better, I'd say his salt-and-pepper hair got even whiter.

"I will do my best, Your Highness… But until then, you'll need four new maids… I will have background checks done immediately." "Thank you.. I know I'm asking a lot."

"Yes, so I hope you don't mind me changing an aspect of your safety. I feel it would be beneficial for you to have a guard stationed with you at all times. It'll be the same person, so they'll get quite comfortable with you."

It wasn't the best outcome, but it wasn't the worst either. Hopefully, they were kind.

"Alright.. I suppose I'll allow it." I huff and stand. This meeting had been rather productive so I was happy with the outcome.

"Where will I be staying in the meantime?" I ask.

He looks up from the paperwork once more and smiles, "The king's quarters. Since there is no king right now, the room is empty. The head maid has already decorated it to your liking, so it should look quite similar."

"Right.." I'd have to thank the head maid, "And what about my maids for the time being?"

"I'll have them sent over right away. We have some safe options still of course. I'll take good care of your old ones, I promise." He says, bowing his head before looking back up at me.

"Thank you, General Roe.."

"Thank you for not firing me, Your Majesty." His grin is contagious, and I find myself smiling.

I nod once to him before I leave and head to the king's room or my temporary room. My new maids come around about five minutes after I get there myself and begin moving my things and bringing me food. Memorizing four new names and faces was going to be… annoying, to say the least. It felt weird to yet again have complete strangers be in charge of so much regarding my life.

A few hours later, I'm in new clothes and have had a deep exfoliation bath. My skin was still red, a little from how hard I scrubbed it. I was hesitant in fear that It had been poisoned, but they tested it for anything before I ate. Eating came easy when the first bite went down, and I didn't immediately kick the bucket. As soon as I take the last bite, a hard knock sounds at the door, and before one of the new maids can open it, Ellie barges in and rushes over to me.

"Did you just kick down my door? What the-"

"First of all! Why didn't you wake me up?! " she yells, waving her arms a little in a frustrated manner. I take a dainty sip of my tea and look up at her sweetly. "Whatever do you mean, Ellie?"

She glared down at me and glanced at the new staff before looking back at me and motioning for them to leave. I could tell she was a bit upset, which was fair, considering we still had much to discuss.

"Ladies, I need a moment."

One protests, "But-"

"Out," I say seriously. She immediately turns red in the face, curtsies, and rushes out of the room like a dog with its tail between its legs. I sigh and turn back to Ellie.

"Alright, go on.. They're gone."

"I'm sorry for yelling…but I was so worried when you woke up and weren't there I-"

"I'm sorry too Ellie.. I should've at least left a note. I sincerely apologize.." I say in a genuine tone of voice.

She visibly relaxes, and I watch her go from upset to concerned.

"How are you doing"

I feel spit go down my neck as the silence thickens. "Could be better.. I um.. I'm avoiding closets for a bit, I think.."

She nods in understanding and does that thing where she fiddles with her fingers.

"What you did for me last night, Ellie-"

"Don't."

She says suddenly, and I furrow my brows in confusion. She maneuvers the chair next to me so the back of it leans against her front, her arms resting on it as she stares at me.

"Don't what?"

"Don't thank me for doing exactly what you would've done for me." She says quietly.

"I should still thank you-"

"And you have.." Interrupting always pissed me off, but it seemed Ellie doing so was the exception.

"Fine… instead, is there anything I can do to repay you?" Her eyebrows raise, and she gives a pondering look before saying, "Come with me to Jackson."

This time, I was the confused one. "Ellie, are you sure those guys didn't somehow hit you in the head? I can't just.. Pack up and leave Midiri… I'm the Queen."

She rolls her eyes and huffs, "Yea, I know that you dork, come just for a little while… as like a diplomatic thing…"

"Why are you suddenly bringing this up-?"

"Joel found out about what happened… And he wants me home. I can't refuse his direct orders, " she says bitterly as she messes with her fingers again. My heart drops, and I realize I am now losing Ellie, too.

"No.. No… you're joking, right? Ellie, tell me you're joking."

"Come with me." She pleads, taking my hands in hers.

"We can keep you safe in Jackson until things are quieter here. It'll be the perfect getaway…Jackson is in the mountains, and I can show you so many things."

I stand and begin to pace. "Just..in Jackson.. With you… Dina..and.. Jesse?"

"And Joel..I joke about him being annoying all the time, but he's not all that bad. I'm sure he'd love you."

"Jeez, it's like you're taking me home to meet the family.." I mutter.

"What?"

"Oh.. nothing.. Anyway, when do you have to leave?"

"….tomorrow…." Her voice is slightly squeaky as she says it as quietly as possible.

"What!! Tomorrow!?"

She stares at me with that sheepish grin of hers, and I give her my best glare.

"Look, I didn't know until Jesse gave me his letter this morning. Apparently, he got word almost immediately. I wonder if he has a spy here… He probably does..whatever, the point is I gotta go, and you should come with me."

She rambles, and I almost miss the spy thing before blinking a few times to get it all to register.

I turned on my heel and stared at the floor for a second. This was pretty big. Going to another country as a royal for the first time when I was still freshly crowned was a massive safety concern. However, I trusted Ellie and wanted to go with her. Things could settle down here, and I would get a vacation out of it.

"I'll go on one condition," I say, turning to her once more.

"Anything." Well, damn, I didn't expect her to say that so fast.

"I want King Joel to know and be ok with it."

Ellie grins, and my eyebrows furrow. "He's already asked that you come with me." She boasts about it as if it were some major accomplishment.

"Fine.. then I'll come," I say with a small smile. She jumps up from her chair and tackles me into a hug.

"Fuck yea! Let's go pack right now; we gotta-"

"Woah Woah Ellie… I gotta let so many people know it may take a while."

"Man fuck those people, you're coming to Jackson!"

I roll my eyes but smile. "Yes, I'm coming to Jackson… Just give me two hours, alright?"

"Ugh, fine. But I'm timing you, " she says before she kisses my cheek and heads to the door.

"See you in two hours!"

I stare at the door in shock and shake my head. What was I going to do with her…

The trip to Jackson went very well, and I even got to fly in a private jet for the first time. Ellie nervously insisted I stay by her side to "keep me safe," as she said, but I wasn't buying it. I think she was just excited to show me her home. We hop in a limo, much like the first one I was ever in, and head to Jackson Castle. Ellie told me it was considered a castle instead of a palace because it was so much older than most things around here. That and it was mostly a military fortress instead of a home.

Once inside, we make our way to the throne room, where King Joel sits on a throne. He was exactly as Ellie had described—so much so that I had to stifle a laugh. Sitting on the throne, he looks utterly bored and is currently wearing flannel, jeans, and muddy horse riding boots. It didn't seem to be out of rudeness, as no one blinked an eye at it. Meaning he wore that in most situations. I smile and curtsey to him.

"Hello, King Joel. It's an honor to make your acquaintance." Lifting my head, I see he's not even looking at me and is walking over to Ellie.

"Just Joel is fine." He says gruffly before looking Ellie up and down as if looking for injuries.

"You alright kiddo?" Joel asks, ruffling her already unkempt hair. She swats at him, and he gives her a smug grin.

"I'm fine, Joel. Now knock it off." Rolling her eyes at him, she glances at me.

"Right.. Joel, this is Y/n.."

Joel finally properly looks my way and nods his head towards me.

"Heard what happened.. 'm real sorry; you should be safe here if I have anything to say about it, and trust me, I do." His tone indicates that he is serious, so I nod my head in thanks.

"Jesse, lead these two to their rooms, please." He adds that last part like he's not used to it and makes his way back to his throne. Jesse rolls his eyes and starts walking.

"Is he allowed to do that?" I whisper to Ellie.

"Not really, but Joel doesn't give a fuck so.." She shrugs, grabs me by the arm, and begins following Jesse.

We spend a little bit of time in our rooms before Joel calls all of us to dinner. Apparently, he likes to cook and usually makes dinner himself, so I was excited to try it.

Sitting around the table, I notice a few faces from newspapers I read in Midiri. Tess, Joel's right-hand woman and the one who basically runs Jackson sits to his left while Tommy, his brother, is on his right. They both gave me basic polite greetings, but refreshingly enough, no one was curtseying or bowing. Ellie sat next to Tess, with me on her other side at the other head of the table and Maria on my right. It was like a cute, tight-knit family. Other tables were spread throughout the room where other families had dinner. For instance, Jesse and Dina sat with his parents and Dina's older sister, Talia. I watch them for a few minutes before I tune into the conversation my table is having.

"So, how did you guys meet?" Maria asks Ellie and I.

"Ha! She told me that the current duke I had was a dick."

No one at the table looks surprised.

"Yea, that's Ellie," Joel comments, taking another bite of his food.

"Oh, come on! You could've at least added the part where I made you laugh so hard you cried, " she complains in protest.

"Yea, but that would make you look good." I counter with a playful expression. She glared at me, and I saw Tess grin from the corner of my eye.

"Jerk…" Ellie mutters, and the table chuckles.

"Oh, yeah, did you bring Savage Starlight back with you?" I ask Ellie before taking another bite of my food. Ellie nods and says, "Yea, I did. It's in my room. I'll let you read them later."

"Don't tell me Ellie dragged you into reading those comics too?" Tommy's voice rings out from across the table.

"Hmm, have I fallen into one of her elaborate schemes?" I ask, feigning disappointment.

"I'm 'fraid you have; she tries to get everyone to read them." He takes a sip of beer and shakes his head.

"Damn it, Ellie," I mutter as she rolls her eyes.

"I asked you to read it once, and you act like I held you at gunpoint and forced you to read it aloud, jackass," Ellie mutters that last bit, and I grin.

"What? Can't hear you from up here! Sorry, you're just too short!" Tommy jokes, and Ellie glares daggers at him.

Ellie mocks him by repeating what he just said only high-pitched.

"Oh, yea, that reminds me, did you get the pun book, Ellie? I saw one in there about a short ruler or something?" Joel says, effectively breaking up the fight. Ellie grins but rolls her eyes.

"That's not how it goes, Joel."

"Well, go on then.. Tell it."

She clears her throat and says, "Did you hear about the royal who is exactly 12 inches tall?"

Various responses are given, but Ellie just shakes her head. "They say she'll make a great ruler." The table chuckles, and I say, "Kind of like you, huh, Ellie?"

She turns her iconic glare on me, and I grin at her.

"Shut up…" Muttering under her breath and slicing her steak, Ellie tries to hide her pride. I guess she was proud of me for making the joke, no matter how much she wanted to pretend otherwise. Ellie was complex like that, an enigma—no doubt a beautiful one, though.

Dinner flies by, and afterwards, Joel stops me to talk. He lets Ellie stay so the conversation can't be too deep. I fiddle with my fingers, a nervous habit I've developed from Ellie.

"I was thinking 'bout how you can't access your affinity and figured you should pay a visit to the affinity master. Now I know it can be a lot, but I think you 'ought to give it a try." His gruff voice is oddly gentle as he gives me advice.

"I've thought about going to an affinity master but figured my affinity would show whenever," I explain. Joel nods his head and glances at Ellie, almost asking her to intervene.

"I understand that. But if something like that happens again, wouldn't you want to have access to that power?" he asks as he leans against the table and crosses his arms.

He did have a good point, and there were no risks going to an affinity master; I was just a little skeptical. Affinity masters were few and far between, and most countries only had one. Once per generation, a noble would be born with the sense to determine other nobles' powers and assess what was going on with them. Since affinities were so complex, it was helpful to have one around.

"You have an excellent point… I will go." My voice is respectful and determined. I can sense Joel sees that. He smiles a little and walks over to Ellie and me. She had been surprisingly quiet this whole time, and I was getting concerned.

Joel ruffles Ellie's hair again, and she rolls her eyes and fixes it once he's done.

"I'm glad you two are safe. Now get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."

Ellie and I walk in silence back to our rooms. I wanted to say something in hopes she'd tell me how she was feeling, but I didn't want to push her.

"Don't worry; the Affinity Master here is really nice, " she suddenly says. I look over at her and see an odd expression on her face. Our footsteps echo through the dark grey halls of the castle, and I can't help but wonder what's going through her mind.

"Ellie, is something wrong?"Finally, I asked her, stopped walking, and faced her. Jesse didn't stop with us and just kept walking.

"What..? No. Why?" She stops walking, too, and faces me.

"You just seem… upset about something…"

Ellie doesn't say anything for a moment. She's about to, but Jesse comes around the corner with a pissed-off expression.

"Will you two hurry up? I wanna get to bed before it's tomorrow, please." He says exasperated. Ellie and I glance at each other before she simply mutters later and heads off to her room. Quite frankly, I was this close to smacking the shit out of both of them.

Walking to my room with Jesse I shoot him a glare before I close the door and flop onto my bed. My new maids had come with me, and we were doing various things around the room. However, I didn't have the energy to be social with them. I wondered for a few moments about various things before sliding down onto the floor and lying there for a bit.

Who was to be my guard? And now that I was in Jackson, would they be coming all the way out here?

Eventually, I managed to get into pajamas and get some sleep.

The next few days were filled with Ellie and Dina dragging me to go sightseeing. They gave me a tour of the castle and showed me the garden where Ellie discovered her earth affinity. I thought that was pretty cool. Sometimes, Joel or Tommy would stop us along the way or join us, and I soon came to see their love for Ellie.

However, as much as I wanted to put it off, it was time to see the Affinity Master. Ellie walks by my side as we make our way to his office in the castle. According to Joel, he was expecting me, so I could just walk right in. This felt rude, so I knocked on the door instead.

"Come in!" A scratchy but calming voice calls.

I open the door gently and walk into the room as Ellie follows. She closes the door behind us as I introduce myself.

"Um, Hello there, my name is-"

"Yes! Yes! I know all about you; please come sit."

He seemed very energetic, so I tried not to get annoyed by his interruptions.

I sit down on a chair he had in the middle of the room. While he messes with something, I look around the space. The room is a striking round shape, its walls lined with tall bookshelves that reach almost to the domed ceiling. Each shelf is crammed with an eclectic mix of books—some old with cracked spines, others new and pristine—covering topics from ancient history to modern philosophy. Papers are scattered across the wooden floor, some neatly stacked and others haphazardly tossed aside, hinting at a whirlwind of thoughts and ideas that have filled the space. The centerpiece of the room is a large window spanning nearly the width of the wall. Sunlight spills in, illuminating dust particles that dance in the air. Outside, a view of lush greenery can be seen, providing a serene contrast to the clutter within. Above, the dome adds an air of grandeur, its curved top allowing echoes of sound to linger momentarily, creating a surreal atmosphere. The gentle arch creates a sense of intimacy, making the room feel both expansive and cozy. Amid the organized chaos, a sturdy wooden table sits under the window, its surface covered in an assortment of open books, scattered notes, and a half-finished cup of tea, suggesting the presence of a restless mind at work. A large, comfortable armchair, slightly worn but inviting, is positioned at an angle, offering a perfect nook for reading or pondering amidst the delightful disorder. Books upon books fill the shelves and even are stacked on the floor. Papers are strewn about with some crumpled and tossed into corners.

"Alright! Now, for me to begin, I'll need your hands." He says, finally facing me. His purple robe swishes, and his light grey disheveled hair falls into his eyes. I watch as he flicks it out of the way before holding his hands out to me. Glancing at Ellie for some confirmation, this guy is the actual affinity master. I watch as she just chuckles at my expression. Turning back to the Affinity Master, I hesitantly place my hands on his. At first, nothing happens, and my cold hands meet his oddly warm ones.

"Now just give me one moment and…." Suddenly, his hands get warm, so warm that it feels like they're burning. I resist the urge to pull away despite my brain yelling at me to do so.

"Just hold on a moment longer, Miss! I've almost got it!" His cheerful voice rang in my ears. I wince from the burning sensation when he suddenly pulls away, like it was him who got burned.

His cheerful expression turns to one of confusion and shock. He messily grabs a piece of paper and starts scribbling on it like mad. I watch as he glances at Ellie and then me before he goes back to scribbling.

"Is.. everything alright?" Ellie asks before I can.

"I'm not sure." He says, smoothing out the paper and continuing to write.

Ellie and I glance at each other before the affinity master suddenly stands up and runs over to one of the many bookshelves in the room. He immediately begins tossing books over his shoulder haphazardly, and I begin to grieve for the poor books.

"Ellie… what is going on?" I ask through clenched teeth.

"He's just like this… trust the process, I guess…"

Soon, the affinity master finds the book he's looking for and opens it to a specific page. His finger goes down the page until he finds what he needs. As he walks back over, he trips on a book and stumbles forward.

"Aha! I have found it! You have an energy blockage. From what I could sense, it's a type of emotional one." He says rather matter-of-factly as he hands the book to me. I gloss it over, but it doesn't click right away.

"I'm afraid I don't understand… What's wrong?" I ask.

"Why, I just told you what's wrong! You have an emotional energy blockage!" He says a little too cheerfully for my taste.

"Well, yeah, I get that part. I need more details, though. What is causing the emotional blockage?"

"In a sense, you are blocking your powers because you emotionally believe you do not have them." His smile pisses me off.

"So.. I physically have the affinity.. It's just blocked by my mental and emotional state?"

He slams his fist on his table in an excited manner, and I jump, "Right!"

"Then how do I get past it?" I ask standing from the uncomfortable chair.

"Hmm, well, in most cases, it resolves itself, but you are much more complex than that. Since you grew up believing you had no powers and were a, well, commoner, your mind altered its energies to adapt to that nature and turned your affinity dormant." He explains in a rambling nature and it takes me a second to process what he said.

"So to get rid of the blockage she just needs to trust that she has the ability? Like blind faith?" Ellie analyzes it quicker than me, apparently, and I start to feel stupid.

"So what? I just believe I have power, and ta-da! Magic!" I say sarcastically, waving my arms.

"It's a bit more complicated than that, but essentially, you are correct!" The Affinity Master clears his throat before explaining, "Back when our ancestors first discovered a way to tap into their energies, a lot of them struggled with believing it as well. So they watched the others use their affinities to gain a better understanding." He says, and I can tell he's pretty proud of his intellect.

"Alright, so I need to watch others use their affinities and try using my own?

"Can't hurt to try!" The Affinity master ecstatically says.

"Wait, try? You don't know if it'll work for sure?"

"Nope!"

I facepalm as Ellie chuckles.

"Well, we're you able to determine my affinity?" The thought had crossed my mind and I decided to ask.

"Ah! No…" His tone switches like whiplash.

"Is there something else wrong?

"In a way, no. However, like I said, you're complicated—the most complicated I've ever seen. You see, I couldn't determine your affinity because you are giving off two different energy signatures."

"Two? So it's deciding between those two or..?'

"No.. you have two affinities, and they're both trying to show themselves, but it gets lost in translation!" he says with a giddy expression.

"What!?" Ellie and I yell out simultaneously.

"I have two affinities? How is that possible??" My voice cracks a little, and I can feel my composure slipping.

"Yes! Two affinities! Good luck!" His little smile was rage-inducing. My jaw clenches, and I'm so close to going off on this man. Ellie picks up on that and practically drags me out of there.

"This has been great, thank you," Ellie says before taking my hand and pulling me towards the door.

"You're so welcome! Come by any time!!"

I slammed the door behind us and immediately stormed off to my room. It didn't make sense why I was so upset; all I knew was that I needed some space to think.

"I'll see you at dinner, Ellie!" I shout behind me so she doesn't think I'm upset with her.

Entering my room, I walk over to one of the deep green couches and place a faceplant on it. So much has just happened that it makes my head spin. One of my maids walks over and taps my shoulder. I groan and lift my head to see it's Mariah. She was the most social of them, and I talked to her the most.

"Your Majesty, a letter has arrived from the Prime Minister. It seems urgent." Her matter-of-fact tone reminds me of the Affinity Master, and I groan again.

"Alright, give it here." Once I'm sitting on the couch normally, she hands me the letter and the letter opener. I slice the wax seal off and delve into the letter.

Your Royal Highness Queen Y/n, General Roe has just finished giving me the full report on that awful night and has determined the spy among your maids. According to his findings, Rose was the spy. Her trial will be held as soon as you return. I'm sure you must be heartbroken. I shall send your other maids over as swiftly as I can. You may keep one of the maids you have now and send the other three back if you wish. Or keep all of them. Either way, stay safe, Your Majesty. Signed, Prime Minister Bennet Winton P.S. Your new guard should have arrived with this letter. General Roe chose her for you with your safety in mind.

I fold the letter back up and try not to cry. Rose had been my closest maid and a trusted ally. I had been hoping it wasn't her, but it made sense. Sniffling and tearing up a little, I hand the letter back to Mariah.

"You can bring the new guard in now. I'd like to meet her." I mutter simply as I stand. Mariah nods and puts the letter in her apron before walking to the door and opening it.

A tall woman with ebony skin and dark black hair walks in. She stands tall with a spear attached to her back and simple armor on. The signature silver and purple emblem of the Midiri empire is stamped onto her gambeson.

She bows deeply before introducing herself, "My name is Elody Hakim, Your Majesty. I come from the Hakim nobles who have been gifted with the lighting affinity. My sword is yours, my liege."

Her introduction is impeccable and straight to the point, telling me exactly what I need to know.

"Welcome to Jackson, Sir Elody. I appreciate you coming out all this way for me."

She doesn't smile, but I see a smidge of gratitude in her eyes.

"I will be here, my Queen, " she says, standing in front of the door. I decide to leave her alone and let the poor woman do her job.

Dinner tonight was… interesting, to say the least.

There was a lot of tension in the air, specifically between Joel and Maria. They both seemed upset about something and weren't talking while the rest of us chatted away. It appeared Maria finally snapped as she roughly slammed her silverware onto the table. "She deserves a ball in her honor, Joel! It would be the perfect way for people in this castle to have some fun!" Maria says, effectively egging Joel on.

"No, Maria! I said no! When people have fun, they let their guards down. I don't think Y/n even wants a ball in her honor." He argues back.

"You're acting like we're at war, Joel, nothing has happened since-"

"Watch it." He says suddenly. I realize Maria almost revealed some deep shit. I glance at Ellie and see she's getting a bit frustrated.

"Why won't you just tell me what the fuck happened, Joel?! I'm not a kid anymore." I could tell she was genuinely angry with him.

"You'd regret it, Ellie… just as I have. Just drop it, " he says sadly. Ellie's anger doesn't waver, and she persists.

"That's some bullshit, Joel, and you know it. Fuck you." She says as she stands and leaves the room. I debate running after her when Joel suddenly agrees with Maria, "Begin planning for the ball, Maria's right.." He says that last part a bit bitterly. "If people aren't happy, they'll start slacking… Maria, I trust you'll handle the planning then?" Joel wipes his mouth on his napkin before throwing it onto his plate.

She just nods and stares at her plate. He nods back and walks off with his plate.

The rest of the dinner is quiet.

Ellie wrote to me the next day saying she just needed some space and would see me at dinner tonight. I sigh but understand completely.

So here I was at the stables all alone. Dina was going to come with me at first, but her sister needed her, and Jesse and I weren't that close, so I didn't ask him.

Tending to Ellie's horse, Shimmer, I brushed and braided her mane. Picking the feet was always hard, but I didn't mind because I was helping out the stable people. I was brushing out her coat when Joel came around the corner. He had a bridle slung over his shoulder and mud on his boots.

Spotting me, he walks over with a small smile and tips his cowboy hat at me.

"Surprised to see you here, that Shimmer?" He asks, patting her neck.

"Sure is; figured I'd do Ellie and the stable hands a solid," I say, scratching her neck. She leans into it, and her head bobs up and down from happiness.

"I think I found her itchy spot."

"Whole thing is itchy most likely." He notes. It was probably true since horses were generally itchy animals.

"I'd be itchy too if I had all that fur on me."

"Heh yea, I guess you would be. Look about last night… I wanted to apologize."

"It's alright, and I don't expect you to explain; I just hope everything is alright," I say, continuing to brush Shimmer. Joel sighs.

"I still think you have a right to know. I'm sure you know, but Ellie isn't my biological daughter. I adopted her from Marlene after Ellie's mom died and Marlene couldn't take care of her… That disease.. It's a horrible way to go, and I don't want Ellie to get even more upset about her mother's passing. I just don't see a point." He explains, his grumbly voice a bit gentler now.

"I suppose I understand, but if someone you loved died, wouldn't you want to know how they went?" I counter. He sighs again and rubs the bridge of his nose. "I would..but it's not that simple."

"I'm sure she'd be able to handle it.." I say, watching his face and trying to read his emotions, "Only.. you don't want her to have to.. You'd rather keep it a secret.." I analyze.

Joel's eyes snapped to mine, and I suddenly couldn't read his expression.

"You have no idea what I want." His voice is rough once more, and I fear I may have overstepped. However, for Ellie's sake, I wasn't going to back down.

"Are you sure about that?" I reply, my voice unwavering and calm. I see Joel's glare ease and watch as something flickers in his eyes… acknowledgment.

"Hmm… I guess you're not dumb after all… see you around, kiddo." He walks out of the stall, and I'm left standing there, slightly confused.

Did I just gain Joel's approval..?

Approval for what..?

What the fuck just happened?

I spend the rest of my time grooming Shimmer while thoughts swirl in my head.

A week has passed, and Maria announced that the ball will be tomorrow. I am lying in bed trying to sleep so I'm not exhausted for it when I feel.. Fear.

It's been tough to sleep ever since that horrible night, but I have been managing. I just wanted one good night's sleep for fucks sake. No matter how dark it was, It wasn't dark enough. Getting out of bed, I sneak over to my door. A random guard is always posted there so Elody can sleep. I open the door to speak to them, only to find them asleep. The hallway is too bright, and I feel the fear creeping to higher levels.

Making a rash decision, I wander down the halls and reach my destination. Knocking on the door, I wait with bated breath. The door opens, and I see her face slightly illuminated by the moonlight.

"What are you doing here so late?" She whispers, her face full of confusion. Ellie stands before me in a wife beater and boxers with her hair down.

"I couldn't sleep," I whisper back. She nods and opens the door further, so I slip inside.

She closes the door behind me and makes her way over to the bed before sitting and patting it to signal me over. It was so wonderfully dark in here. I barely make it to the bed without falling on my own two feet and sliding under her covers.

"I'll keep watch k?" She says, tucking the covers over me a little more.

"Just try and sleep…" She whispers.

I whisper a thank you before I close my eyes and relax my breathing. After a few minutes, my heart slows, and I almost fall asleep when Ellie moves to lie next to me. I feel her fingers on my face and keep my expression schooled. It was not easy. She moves my hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. Her whispers break the silence, "So beautiful…"

It takes everything I have to not lose my mind. Ellie just called me beautiful.. While she thinks I'm asleep. Thankfully, it was too dark for her to see my blushing face, so I didn't have to worry about that. She inches closer and I can feel her minty breath on my face and smell her signature pine and bergamot scent. She leans in and kisses my forehead ever so softly. Then my cheeks, my nose next, and my temples. I feel her hesitation; I feel her thinking it through. She leans closer one more time, and her lips graze mine. Holding in a gasp was all I could do not to let her know I was awake. She pulls away and begins cursing to herself.

Ellie Williams almost just kissed me.

My mind spirals, and I can only reach two conclusions.

Ellie Williams is in love with me.

And I was damned if I ever let her go.

When I woke up the next morning, Ellie was not next to me. Instead, she was sitting on one of her couches reading Savage Starlight and sporting massive eyebags.

"Ellie?" I groan as I sit up and yawn.

"Uh yea?" She asks, not looking up from her comic.

"What time is it?" I sniffle a little from having a stuffy nose in the morning.

"There's a clock right there, Y/n." She says, still not looking at me. I glance at the clock and see it's 10:41 a.m. Ellie let me sleep in.

"Yea, yea, whatever, Els. You should get some more sleep. I didn't keep you up, did I?"

"I will once you leave." She says, simply flipping a page. I knew she was gonna be awkward, but I didn't think I'd be this bad.

"Ellie, are you gonna look at me? Have I turned into an ugly troll overnight or something?" I ask her directly.

She huffs and finally looks up at me. As soon as her eyes meet mine, I see a blush spread across her face. I tilt my head a little and get out of bed. She looks a bit panicked as I walk closer.

"Are you ok?? You're acting a little.. off?" I asked, knowing perfectly well what was wrong.

She rolls her eyes and goes back to her comic. "'m fine Y/n.. just tired. I was up all night watching over you."

I call bullshit, but only in my head.

"Well, thank you. I slept well for the first time in a while. I'll go now. Bye, Els."

She says nothing as I walk out of her room and close the door. I suddenly began to doubt if what happened last night was even real. If it was fake, how would I have been able to feel everything so vividly? Deciding to take my chances that it was real, I head to my room and get ready for the day.

Turns out I freaked out my maids and guard by not being in my bed this morning. Which checks out considering I forgot to leave a note. I apologize profusely to all of them as I decided to let them all have somewhat of a vacation here. I apologize to Elody next, who damn near lost her mind. Once everything was calm again, I went through my day working on paperwork and such, and before I realized it, it was time to get ready for the ball.

I slip on a pearlescent gown and some simple jewelry before a pearl-covered crown is placed on my head. My hair is done up in a loose bun, and I feel like the Queen of the Sea. Slipping on a kitten heel, I walk to my door and open it to Ellie standing there, fist raised and all. She blinks, looks me up and down a few times, blushes, and holds out a hand.

"Uh, hey.. Sorry 'bout that I was just coming to get you," she says, avoiding my eyes. I smile and slip my hand into hers.

"It's all good. Funny how I caught you right at that moment, though, huh?" I say with a chuckle. She closes my room door behind me and moves my hand to rest on her arm where her forearm and bicep meet. Ellie starts walking to the ballroom at a speed I can only describe as supersonic.

"Woah, Ellie, hold on, I can't keep up," I say, tripping a little. She catches me by wrapping her arm around my waist and dragging me upwards. I land against her side with an oomph.

"Be careful.." Her face looks like a tomato.

She slows down after that.

We make it to the ballroom in one piece, and they announce our arrival. I've had a few more dance lessons since our last attempt, so hopefully, I won't mess up this time. Once we make our way to the middle of the ballroom, she bows to me, turns, and walks off.

I stand there completely and utterly confused.

Did she just walk off on me? What the fuck, Ellie?

Just as I'm about to head to the balcony, someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see Maria. She looks gorgeous in a baby blue pantsuit and some pearl earrings.

"Y/n, there you are. I wanted to introduce you to a few people." Her smile doesn't reach her eyes, and I can tell she's a bit upset about something. I won't comment on it, though, because it's none of my business.

"Sure, lead on." I smile, hoping to cheer her up a little. Besides, making a few connections can't hurt.

She starts walking over to a crowd and pulls one gentleman aside. He introduces himself as Lord Seth and bows to me. We talk for a little while before I'm suddenly pulled from behind. My immediate reaction is panic, but I relax once I smell bergamot and pine. It was just Ellie.

"What are you-" I start.

"Maria, I told you I didn't want her talking to that Bigot." She spits out, glancing between Maria and Seth. I watch as Seth pulls a face, and Maria sighs.

"Who do you think you're talking to, girl?" Seth bites out back.

"Alright, you two enough. You're right, Ellie. I'm sorry I just figured it'd be good for her to have connections." Maria explains.

"Then don't bring her to Seth; bring her to Viscount Gilbert, or Marchioness Elizabeth, anyone but this fool." Ellie counters, pulling me further and further behind her. I was tired of this conversation.

"Ellie, enough. We need to talk," I say sternly before turning to Lord Seth and Maria.

"I apologize for this interruption. I will be right back," I say sweetly before dragging Ellie to the gardens. Fury laced my vision, and I pushed open the heavy wooden doors. I take her hand in mine and walk over to a gazebo covered in vines and fairy lights.

"What the fuck is your problem, Ellie?!" I say to her, frustrated. Avoiding yelling out of anger was proving to be complicated.

"What the fuck are you doing Y/n? You shouldn't have been talking to him!" She yells. I snap.

"I can discern who is worth my time well enough, Ellie. I don't need you choosing that for me!" I argue back, a little wrath backing it up.

"That may be, but you do not understand this court the way I do! That man is not someone you should be talking to!"

"And why not!? You seem so set on who I shouldn't be talking to. You barely talk to me yourself! You think I haven't noticed you avoiding my eyes for ages now??" I counter.

"He is a homophobic piece of shit, and you are the light of the world! You shouldn't sully yourself speaking to someone who would hate you if he knew enough about you!"

"I'm not the light of the world, Ellie. You're being ridiculous! And I would've figured that out on my own and ignored him! I will take your advice, but I will not have it shoved down my throat!"

She swears and shakes her head. "You're the light of my life, ok?! He has treated me like shit my entire life! I didn't want him to tell you things I'm not proud of!"

I stare at her in shock.

I was the light of her life.

"What?" I whisper, my voice cracking.

Ellie seems to realize what she said, and her face drops.

"No.. no.. no.. I-"

"Say it again.." I whisper.

She stares at me as tears line her eyes. I watch as she takes a deep breath and bites her lips.

"You're the light of my life.." She admits reluctantly. Her eyes are filled with yearning, and I sense there's more she wants to say.

"When I saw you crying in that garden, I knew I couldn't walk away… It was already over for me. I figured it would be easier to hide my feelings instead of tell you…"

I stare at her in awe and admiration.

"I love you, Y/n.. so much so that when I see you, my world brightens and the stars align. Everything and nothing makes sense like some sort of dream. I want you near, but fear I'll become your ruin."

Her words make me tear up, and it dawns on me…

A poem.. She was whispering aloud a poem she had written for me.

Adoration fills my heart as I stare into her eyes, the twinkling of the lights filling them along with her tears.

"Say something…" She whispers.

I don't.

Instead, I take a step towards her. She doesn't move away and just lets me maneuver us. I bring her under the gazebo, minding my step, and place one of her hands on my waist and one on my own… and I dance. She seems confused but follows along and dances with me. The music from the ballroom carrying all the way out here. Steps feel familiar as we twist and spin, and I can see her confusion and desire. Wanting an answer, confused as to why I won't give it to her.

"And then I learned the truth, how everything good in life seems to lead back to you. And every single time I run into your arms. I feel like I exist for love. Like I exist for love." I whisper the lyrics of the song playing as my response to her poem.

I continue as she tears up, "Only for love…" A pause, "Cause when you walked into my life, I could feel my life begin. Like I was torn apart the minute I was only born, and you're the other half, the only thing that makes me whole."

I hum a few lines of the song along with the music in the background before I whisper the most important line, "I love you so…"

The dance comes to an end, and she dips me before slowly bringing me back up. I rest my hands on her shoulders and look into her eyes. Her hands are resting on my waist.

"Can I kiss you..?" She asks in a whisper so quiet I barely catch it. I glance at her lips and catch her doing the same before giving her one simple nod.

Ever so slowly, she cups my face, wrapping her other hand around my waist and bringing me ever closer. My breath hitches, and I see her give me a look to check again that this is alright. When I lean towards her, she takes it as a yes….

..and kisses me.