#this also applies to autistic ppl!!

[yardsards]

having empathy does not automatically make someone better than those with low empathy. those with low empathy do not need to work *extra* hard to be as "good" as those with average or high amounts of empathy.

like, empathy is not always a good thing. empathy can lead people to silence others who are talking about their personal traumatic experiences, or force those who are visibly suffering to be hidden away because "i don't want to hear about or see your pain, you're making me feel bad". or attempt to exert unethical control over others and restrict their freedoms because "i cannot bear to see you make choices that might hurt you."

does this mean empathy is inherently bad and that low empathy people are better? no, that's not the case either. a lack of empathy can cause us to turn a blind eye to people in need, for example.

in reality, all people, regardless of our natural empathy levels, must learn to practice kindness and respect towards others, even when doing so runs contrary to our gut feelings. we must *all* put in that effort and work to be better.

[halalgirlmeg]

I'm very weary of narratives and dynamics that paint people of color as like bullies, or intolerant/bigoted, or anything of the sort against white characters cause it's not that we're infallible either within specific communities or as a collective but like...idk like I feel like we're usually in these roles more often than not (its ESP Black women and girls, and Dark skin women and girls even moreso) like, esp when shows tout themselves as progressive cause knowing how Fandoms roll esp in regards to bleeding into actors off screen I just know there are people like going the hell in, because even when they're not bad people at all or just like a fleshed out human beings let them do one thing wrong, or do something fans don't like, people never shut the fuck up about it (look at Meredith and Amelia from Grey's vs Maggie and Bailey, esp in like the second half of the Grey's run) meanwhile white characters can never do anything wrong ever even when they're very much in the wrong which hmmm does that not also sound like real life?

[zorubark]

Writing a character with fictional chronic disease be like:

Me: So her body produces too much magic and when she tries to use magic she gets hurt

"Along the story she should train and be able to use her power"

Me: She WON'T SHE CAN'T USE THAT MUCH MAGIC OR HER VEINS EXPLODE HER MUSCLES TEARS AND SHE BREAKS HER BONES

[br1ghtestlight]

trying to get tumblr people to watch bob's burgers by telling them that one of the main characters is a queer-coded fat neurodivergent man w/ ptsd and ocd and none of those traits are protrayed as a negative thing or as a joke. I think. i dont remember actually

[eyestrain-addict]

This is your sign to stop being friends with NT people who treat your disability like a character quirk then get surprised/upset when it's a disability

[cruelsister-moved2]

that thread i rbed like ages ago about men's urge to disagree/object to/obstruct women for no reason has seriously reset my brain its so crazy but i think actually one of the rare things that actually might represent a way forward for how men engage with women. like there's always going to be the rightwing ardent misogynists who don't care that they're doing this but for all the men in the middle that do on some level want to be better it represents 1. fairly confronting evidence that your position in the patriarchy actually affects how you relate to women much more than you realise it does even if you think of yourself as self-aware and 2. a genuine example of something that makes us all suffer because the fact you niggle on every single issue like what flavour of ice cream to buy is unhealthy for relationships (of any kind) AND introduces unnecessary amount of background strain to your life for no real gain. maybe im being an idealist but i love the idea of a man experiencing a certain amount of horror upon recognition of this as a catalyst to other more meaningful recognitions and changes both in how he evaluates the competence of women but also in recognition of the subjectivity of he perceives things i.e i think one of the biggest barriers to confronting the housework gap is often that men don't SEE how much women are doing and also don't SEE things that need to be done, to the extent that ive seen men argue that the solution is just for women to not care about being surrounded by mess. anyway no conclusion but i cant stop thinking about that thread both super horrifyingand also kind of hopeful

[vaugarde]

sometimes i get a little nervous that ppl may look at my posts from outside and assume that the brother that i say that i hate and who treated me badly growing up, and the brother who is high support needs and cant communicate are the same person. theyre not just so we’re clear fjfjfjf

[sp4rklegutz]

" male socialization " " female socialization " how abt u socialize some b*tches 💀

[brookheimer]

muting that anne carson post i’m sorry but most of y’all are not at all picking up what i was putting down…..

[meistoshi]

houou is the reason satoshi cannot die.     it looked upon this ridiculous boy with untapped potential & untapped powers, ready to risk life & limb for a mouse that wouldn’t do what it’s told, saw that same mouse be inspired enough by that ridiculousness to leap in front of the boy & channel actual lightning to save them both …     & it decided “yeah, i’ve got a good feeling about this one”.     & it just kept following him in the background.     kept an eye on him.     ensured satoshi’s resurrection after getting caught in the crossfire of mew & mewtwo.     flashed its tail feathers when satoshi returned from johto, practically said with a nudge-nudge “hey, how about you check out hoenn next??”, flying it its direction.

upon satoshi deciding to start from zero, caught him on the same path that he first saw it, this time giving him a feather, an invitation, told him “c’mon, let me see what you’re made of, let me see how you’ve grown”, sent him on a search for it, waiting to battle him, & when satoshi died protecting pikachu, houou made sure he came back, like it always has.     it’s decided that satoshi is interesting, has seen the amount of love he has for the world, has seen how many times he’s succeeded in protecting said world, in protecting other gods, has concluded that he’s worth sticking around  ;     there’s too much he’s yet to do, there’s too much he’s able to protect like few others, & he always manages to be at the right place at the right time, even if satoshi himself might disagree with the last point in some cases.     so houou’s not letting satoshi die.     not for a long while yet.

because of this blessing, satoshi’s relationship with mortality is different to that of most people’s.     the concept of his own death has lost meaning to him outside of worry for what will happen to the people / pokémon he wants to protect when he’s no longer around.     he’s died too many times for it to really matter.     death is just a bump in the road, an inconvenience.     the gods want him around, so he’s still around.     he’s aware that he’s gonna die for real for the last time sometime in the future, but he’s sure that day’s still very far off, so he treats his mortality like a runner far behind him who keeps being tripped up  ;     it’ll catch up with him eventually, but for now he’s gonna keep moving it like it’s barely there.

it’s part of why he’s so reckless with his methods of rescue, going so far as to jump off buildings & cliffs to catch his pokémon mid-fall  ;     it doesn’t matter if there’s no guarantee of surviving the fall, if he can protect the pokémon from the brunt of the landing it’s fine, he’ll be fine.     eventually. if he can take someone else’s place in taking the brunt of something, it feels like a no-brainer that he should, because he’s always been fine in the end, while majority others don’t have that luxury of carelessness. he's come back from being ripped apart & burnt to cinders — what can take him down?? ( his lack of regular ol’ human mortality doesn’t make the nightmares ease off, though, it doesn’t make swimming any less of a mental chore, it doesn’t make him any less tense when the topic of any crisis in the past decade gets brought up.     he kind of wishes it did.     he’d be lying if he said he didn’t think it frustrating that dealing with trauma doesn’t get any easier with a lack of fear of death & the knowledge that, for him, death is but a temporary inconvenience. )

[the-acid-pear]

Honestly there's certain franchises that go beyond the traditional genre classifications and go on instead to form part of their own category called Autism. Things such as FNAF and UT/DR fall in this category. There's many more cases although many merely fall within personal categorization, and are valid only to certain extreme.

[notjanine]

spent the summer prepping for and taking the worst exam of my life, riding out the lease at the worst place i've ever lived,* then being temporarily kinda homeless,** and getting dozens and dozens of job applications rejected. i had some fun in there, but my anxiety has been through the fucking roof on top of my regular summer depression.

then the last two weeks of august happened 😳

everything happens so much. somehow, i managed to find the perfect apartment for a reasonable rent, and now me and Books are living (together!) in a fantastic and charming new home- lots of space, big kitchen table, a balcony facing undeveloped woods, just off one of the major roads in the city that has my favorite grocery store and our favorite sandwich shop (where we were already regulars). plus, i've gotten not one, not two, but three (three!) job offers- and i can take them all!!! one is with a hospital where i did my favorite internship rotation, and i'm so excited that i get to go back there and get paid to do that job, it was a blast. another is right by my new place and it's similar to the other hospital, but it's slightly bigger and sees more complex cases, so i'll be comfortable and confident, but i'll still get some new, specific clinical experience in areas that i'm interested in.

and the third position is... literally my dream job. it's the job that's been the end goal since the moment i chose my field of study. grad school and the internship made me rethink all of my professional goals and push them back, thinking i wouldn't be able to get to them for so long because i'd need ~more experience~. but now i'm. uh. i did it. i did it??!

the two hospital jobs are just part time, but they both pay well. the other won't start for a few months bc my boss*** has to get insurance approval to add me to her private practice,**** but that's okay, because i have a lot of reading and learning i want to do in the meantime to prepare! and then it will start as part time working up to full time as i build up my case load, but i'll also get to decide my own hours and do some work from home. i'll get to work with my favorite kinds of patients! and i'll get fantastic professional development opportunities for specialization, if i want to. the other dietitians in the practice seem lovely, so i'm excited to work with them. and the pay is realllly good, gosh, for being fresh out of the internship, it's nuts.

so things will pick up as i go through orientation and onboarding for the two hospital jobs next month. but it'll get calmer again after that, so i'll have the time and energy to prepare for the more challenging work that starts later, which is really nice.

and in the meantime, i'll be tending the wee garden on my balcony and playing board games with the love of my life 💗

[clnnamon-rolls]

me when im still seeing buildmart discourse on my fucking dash:

[daffythefox]

hate hate hate the "are you there" "no" joke like on vcs and stuff because you said you weren't there. like if something happens and I like spill a drink or smthn and I'm giving my undivided attention to cleaning it up, I might be there physically but I'm not like ready to do anything! and if i respond to "are you there" with "no" and they assume I'm kidding when I'm not that is so frustrating

if I'm waiting to start smthn and I'm like doing a kind of roll call to make sure everyone's there and someone says "no, i'm not here." then i'm like "ok we gotta wait for em" and they're like "ofc I'm here i responded it was a joke" and I'm like "you know it's funny when you have to explain it"

and then ppl like make me feel stupid for giving them the benefit of the doubt and then I get angry and I feel like a complete idiot it's not good

[trans-leek-cookie]

Truly we herald this as the autism website. And God damn it sure is the website of having autism but not fucking understanding that autism is different in different people. Also for a website that says shit like "ppl will send hate mail but be afraid to make a phone call" I don't think some ppl have actually dealt with a serious argument in a long time cause they cannot handle the most minor shit

[butchwheels]

i think more neurodivergent people should practice saying "hey please only say yes to me infodumping to you about my favorite things when you have the emotional capacity for it, don't force yourself to or it defeats the purpose and if you hide it you'll grow resentment unnecessarily and if i ever find out i'll feel incredibly betrayed" to loved ones, even if they also are autistic/adhd/etc. it is an important boundary that is in OUR control and would radically change our sense of trust with others. we can be authentic AND build trust if we communicate effectively with other people

this can also apply to passionate ppl in general, and to their loved ones who think that making a martyr of themself so their loved one can ramble to them beyond what's comfortable makes them a better partner. it actually often does not. the only way we can learn to trust that you actually want to listen to us when we ask is when you say no sometimes too. otherwise we'll go into a guilt loop everytime, bc we don't have the data to prove that you would tell us if it was too much. i think even without neurodivergency being involved ppl are likely to martyrize themselves for their loved ones not realizing that being a martyr AT ALL will ALWAYS backfire at your loved ones. it never just affects you, and it always impedes genuine connection and trust. even i have been guilty of letting my autistic friends ramble at me until i was exhausted, and then straining beyond that bc it felt too rude to tell them, even when it was negatively affecting our emotional connection on my end. but communication is key, folks. it's a hard habit to learn but one we all must learn, and both sides need to do it