#this applies to crushes all throughout my life too

[cupcakeinat0r]

A Nerdy middle-aged loser Miguel w a dad bod who teaches your genetics class.

He has a huge crush on you even though he knows he shouldn’t but how tf couldn’t he????

With the way you always walk in a minute or two late, making the whole class look at you as you strut in with your quiet “so sorry!” and your cute little outfits that show off the best parts of your body.

Miguel’s eyes would follow you and the way you set down your bag, whipping out your computer, ready to absorb all the knowledge that Prof. O’Hara has to offer like a sponge. He usually has to stand behind his podium because watching you hang onto every single one of his words with those parted, glossy lips and curious eyes made him embarrassingly hard.

Or the way you took notes, your cute little organization of colors and annotations. Your kindness in giving notes to your peers because you wanted to see everyone succeed. Even though you may not have looked like it, you were a smarty pants, too. And he found that extremely hot.

During his lecture, he’ll sometimes catch you applying lip gloss or fixing your hair in your compact mirror and think to himself how gorgeous you are and how lucky your boyfriend that you totally already have is.

Cuz there’s no way he could pull someone like you. Those days are over for him. Plus, you were way out of his league.

But he can’t help but have a sliver of hope every time you leave class with an adorable smile and small wave.

“Thank you so much, Professor O’Hara! Great class today!!”, your praise never ceasing to make him slightly flustered on the inside.

Before you, he totally fucked his own hand like everyday. He’s a lonesome man. But now that you were in his life? That man goes home everyday, imagining his had is your luscious, tight cunt, replaying your cute voice in his head over and over again.

What he has no idea is that his praise has the same effect on you.

Anytime you had a question or were worried that you weren’t understanding a concept, Miguel would comfort you, with the most gentle words and voice.

He was such a cute man. It’d be so easy to praise him and baby him, telling him he’s sooo smart and such a good teacher.

His well-kept black hair w tiny hints of gray throughout, his black rimmed square glasses, his little cashmere sweater + button up combos that hugged around his broad chest, enormous biceps, and pudgy belly. He was sooo dreamy. He made it so hard to focus.

You’d go up to his desk after class needing clarification on a topic. He’d tell you to sit down, eager to help you with the class (or anything ever, he’d do anything for you if it meant keeping you).

His cologne would fill your nose as he bends over the table, a strand of hair falling on his forehead, pushing his glass up his nose as he towers over you as he explains what ever it was you were confused about.

It never helped because you never caught a single word. You were too busy imagining his soft stomach rubbing against your back as he bends you over the table, plowing you while saying those sweet words of encouragement into your ear.

And those veiny, hairy arms and hands wrapped around your waist as he bounces you on his fat cock, making those adorable glasses of his fog up.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, you’re doing great, as always.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, sweetheart.”

“I know, mama, It’s a hard concept to grasp, but you’ll get it. I know it.”

It made you scream on the inside. You wanted so badly to be a good student for him so that he could talk to you this way every single class.

Pt.2 here!

Want more DadBod!Miguel ? Here’s my master list, bae!!

[takaraphoenix]

Mutual Devotion (Sneak Peek)

“You know,” Lydia said casually. “I appreciate that you got over your crush on me, Stiles. This would have been… so much harder if you kept making heart-eyes at me. Jackson’s been the jealous type even before he became a werewolf, but now he is…”

“Territorial,” Stiles offered with a chuckle. “Yeah, I feel like him turning into a werewolf did a lot in the me getting over you. I know my crush couldn’t compare to a mate-bond.”

Derek was glad that none of the wolves were in the room to hear the surprised jump of his heart. How did Stiles know about mate-bonds? He lifted his gaze carefully off the selection, watching Stiles, even as Stiles kept his focus on Lydia. Derek also noted that Stiles wasn’t lying, he was over his feelings for Lydia. Derek tried not to think about the way that made him feel.

“Mates?” Lydia echoed, raising her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on,” Stiles groaned and tilted his head back, before staring dead ahead at Derek. “Don’t tell me you still haven’t had the bees and birds talk with the puppies!”

Knowing the answer and not even waiting for Derek to say anything, Stiles simply barreled on. “Mates, you know, like… like soulmates. But… not in the cheesy trope-y way of names written on your skin or whatever. Just… a perfect match, I guess? I think that wolves actually feel it though. Scott and Allison are mates. That’s how I got onto that track to begin with, like, there was just no other way to explain them, and everything they did for each other. You can only excuse so much with rampant teen hormones. And yeah, Allison is Scott’s anchor, which I guess is like another word for mates when it refers to a person instead of a thing or emotion. She grounds him, his love for her allows him to focus on his wolf. The same way that you allowed Jackson to regain control, back then. Because you’re his anchor. You’re his mate.”

For the first time since Derek knew her, Lydia actually looked surprised and like she had encountered something that she had not expected. Derek’s attention shifted to Stiles though.

“It’s not another word for mate,” Derek whispered. “Anchor. Your anchor doesn’t have to be your mate, you don’t need a mate to have an anchor. Parents, siblings, friends, they can be anchors too.”

“Oh,” Stiles blinked, like he hadn’t expected for Derek to give any input at all, before he cracked a big smile. “But the rest is right? Did I do the right research?”

Slowly, Derek nodded. “Perfect match is… right, in a sense. We don’t… know the moment we meet someone that they’re ‘the one’, if that’s what you mean. A perfect match is something forged. You can have multiple mates throughout our life, my aunt, she lost her first mate years before the fire, but she fell in love again and forged a new mate-bond.”

“Okay,” Stiles furrowed his brows curiously. “Then what makes a perfect match?”

“Mutual devotion,” Derek could hear the words spoken by his mom, when she had explained this to him as a young boy. “A mate isn’t just someone perfect for you, it’s about… what you are willing to do for each other, support each other, help each other, make each other better. This mutual devotion to one another is what forges a mate-bond.”

“Mh,” Lydia blinked, repeatedly. “I suppose… that does apply to us. We are devoted to each other. Even through the worst of it, even when he was awful to me, even when I was awful to him.”

“You are,” Derek offered in a soft voice. “Mates, I mean. Wolves can smell it on each other and on claimed mates. And Stiles is also right about Scott and Allison. Which… is why I cut him as much slack as I did. I knew why he was so obsessed with the youngest member of the Argent family.”

Stiles hummed in understanding, looking at Derek. Mates. Derek swallowed hard as puzzle pieces started to fall into place in a way he had so far tried to ignore. But having this conversation, and looking at Stiles during it, it became impossible to deny. Over the past year, they had helped each other, saved each other’s lives, fought side by side. And now, for the past month, Stiles had helped Derek truly build his pack, strengthen his pack. Bringing Erica and Boyd back to him, forcing Derek to confront Jackson, whom he had avoided out of guilt because if Derek hadn’t bitten him to begin with, Jackson would have never turned into the kanima and had to go through all that trauma, he had genuinely thought that Jackson wouldn’t want to be a part of this pack. But it seemed that Jackson had needed as much of a push as Derek. And that was one thing Stiles excelled in; pushing. With Jackson came Lydia, of course. Mates. And now, suddenly, Derek’s small pack of three betas who kept snarling at him had turned into a much happier pack of five betas and one Stiles.

Which, perhaps, was another reason why Derek had kept putting this realization off. Stiles was undeniably pack, he had been here every single day to rebuild the pack house, to bond with Derek and the betas, yet Derek could never bring himself to think of Stiles as a beta. At first, he pretended that this was because Stiles wasn’t a wolf, was a human. But he didn’t have the same qualms with Lydia, he considered Jackson’s mate one of his betas. It was the way Stiles went about things that made him different from everyone else. Providing food and moral support for the betas, keeping them together, mediating between them, and between them and their Alpha, taking charge, at Derek’s side by making Derek find a place to live, start renovating the house, change his training methods with the betas. That wasn’t the kind of behavior a beta would be allowed to get away with. That was the behavior of an Alpha mate, the co-leader of the pack, the heart of the pack.

Stiles Stilinski was the Alpha mate of the Hale Pack. And Derek had no idea what to do with that.

--

(This is an excerpt. There is currently 7k more of this story and I have yet to reach the end. Stay tuned for June 22nd, which is the estimated posting date for this fic, like, I should be done with it by then!)

[ybklix]

forbidden love with innie 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮

★ pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader

✦summary: Jeongin has it all, he’s a sweet millionaire man with a passion for photography, his only flaw has always been his family, obsessed with power and money, they force him to marry as if he was living in the past, but the only past he loves is you, an old crush that came back into his life as the most beautiful muse. Now he’s trapped, between a false love and a true one.

♡ genre - warnings: MDNI, angst, fluff, brief smut (sex w a lot of feelings): oral sex, fingering and piv, cheating ?, classism, mean jeongin but not to reader, forbidden lovers trope.

word count: 14.4k

╰ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ masterlist - taglist

request<3!

a/n: i feel inspired by jeongin, my bad if it's too long oops

It was like destiny. You never thought you would meet him again like that, the last time you had heard from him was in high school, your mother stopped working for them a couple of years ago so she doesn’t have as much news from the Yangs as she used to tell you, plus you were living with two other roomies and you were trying your best to visit her. But... it happened so strangely for you, the ad didn’t even have his name, it was a completely unknown one, Hwang Hyunjin, and you looked up his face on the internet but being so overwhelmed between the jobs you kept in the summer and the university, you completely forgot about it.

You looked at him as you entered the gallery, you couldn’t believe it, it was the same Yang Jeongin who you had been in love with for years, looking slightly more mature, wearing a suit, standing next to another young man who you’re sure is Hyunjin. They both looked up when they heard you enter, but only Jeongin’s gaze captivated you completely, he still had the sweet look he had as a child, nothing had changed, only his hair color was a coppery blond now and didn’t have braces anymore; his hair combined perfectly with his slightly tanned skin tone, highlighting his marked features, making him look manly and more attractive; he was no longer a child, he definitely grew up. You started to get nervous after coming out of your little trance, where you both looked so stunned and fascinated by each other, for Jeongin, it was like seeing a divine figure in life, you glowed, and you looked just as he remembered you from the last time he saw you, so beautiful and full of life.

Hyunjin had no idea what this was about, but it was obvious he noticed the intensity between the two of you, Jeongin saw you as if he had just seen his favorite painting for the first time, the question if you knew each other popped up in Hyunjin’s mind, but the most important one was, how do you know each other and why did you look like old lovers meeting again.

“Y/n...” whispered Jeongin, taking the surprise of his friend standing next to him.

Hyunjin blinked in puzzlement looking at Jeongin, as there was not even a need to introduce yourself, Hyunjin knew your name because you had signed up for his summer course as an assistant and apprentice photographer at his gallery, you had applied and were about to have your interview, Hyunjin was really fascinated with your work. He considered you a fresh artist with a unique vision.

Hyunjin was Jeongin’s lifelong best friend, but he didn’t know about you and his huge crush he had on you throughout his years of youth because... deep down, Jeongin was an extremely reserved man, besides Hyunjin was studying abroad all the time, he studied with Jeongin in elementary school and they met again until college, although Hyunjin was only one year older than him, but they were never separated even for a moment, they visited each other so often, and in his childhood, the Yangs hung out too much with the Hwangs. They still do, in a nice tradition.

Hyunjin was also surprised by the sudden change in his best friend’s countenance, his face was now shining, he could see the illusion reflected in his sharp eyes that he knew so well. He was shocked, a few moments ago he was so down and furious, shouting how overbearing and disgusted he felt at his family’s stupid decision to arrange a marriage for him... and then nothing, you showed up interrupting the conversation, just when Hyunjin was trying to process the information and reassuring him, saying softly, “Wow, slow down, Innie, what are you talking about?”

And you, you couldn’t help but smile as you heard him say your name. Your breath went out of you, it truly was very pleasing to see him again but... the impact was massive. Your Jeongin, who in fact was never yours beyond your pure imagination. He was so different from you, something so unattainable that you only sighed for, the one who taught you everything, even your greatest passion, like photography.

“Hello” you replied shyly and nervously, “it’s been a while.”

“A very while” Jeongin replied, almost breathless.

You were a considerable distance away from them, if you got any closer to him you think you would melt, more than when you were out there walking a few blocks in the intense summer sun to get all the way to Hyunjin’s gallery.

Both of your hearts pounded, every hair on their bodies bristled with emotion, the feelings never left, they only returned once you met again so unexpectedly. This time the feeling burned with more intensity, you were no longer children who used to play in his backyard.

“Ah, hello, I’m Y/n, I’m here for the interview...” you spoke, clearing your throat and breaking eye contact with Jeongin to see Hyunjin.

Hyunjin smiled amused, there wasn’t much to interview, in fact he was never that serious nor did he plan to be so hard on you, he was just like Jeongin, kind and down to earth despite growing up with all the riches and luxuries of life. But he liked you after seeing that you had the trust, and adoration, of his best friend.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Hwang Hyunjin and this is my gallery, my work area is a few blocks away, we’ll be passing from here to there.”

You raised your eyebrows, gripping your crossbody bag tightly and nervously, looking around the establishment, about to speak and compliment the place but then it dawned on you... he had spoken as if he was already taking you into account.

“Oh... it means that...”

“You’re in” he smiled at you.

Your face still reflected surprise but you were still grateful, you really were grateful, it was a decent job from which you’d learn more about what you actually study and do; and the pay was excellent.

“Can we start now? I’m having an exhibition this weekend and I need opinions” Hyunjin added, rounding his friend’s shoulder, amused to see that Jeongin couldn’t take his eyes off you.

You nodded. You had nothing better to do, than to finally start working. Hyunjin dressed more casual and relaxed than Jeongin... a part of you questioned why he was dressed so smartly, you wondered if he really continued his family’s legacy and company, but you hadn’t read any news of him being the official successor... maybe, after all, from their continuous complaints and dislikes, he forgave them and simply continued to work for them, or at least you thought so. You were not so aware of Jeongin, since years ago, since you treated him as a first love you had to let go, as an ex —you never had absolutely nothing— which you had to forget; besides, despite being handsome and rich, Jeongin was so private, he didn’t share much on social media and kept an impeccable image for the rest of the media, without even his parents asking him to, he really was like that, he never used his money for excesses and whims.

Hyunjin started walking, inviting the two of you to follow him, Jeongin waited for you, to line up with your step and see Hyunjin with his back to you leading you both.

“So... how do you two know each other?” Hyunjin asked amused, turning his head to look at you and then stopped his walking in front of a large white wall, with portraits leaning on the floor.

You were both surprised and saw Hyunjin’s expression waiting for an answer, he was quite interested to hear a good story of two lovers meeting, something new for Hyunjin since he didn’t know you and, during all his friend life, he only knew one girlfriend of Jeongin, whom he dated her since he was 13 and broke up with when he turned 18. And, as far as he knew, Jeongin has been single ever since... until now of course, when just today he angrily yelled at him “I’m getting married!” And it wasn’t at all a happy tone.

“Oh, she’s a childhood friend...” replied Jeongin.

You sighed, knowing that... that was indeed partly true, but the rest of it, somehow embarrassed you. For you, both Hyunjin and Jeongin, were two attractive men from a world very different from your own.

Hyunjin frowned innocently, crossing his arms and hunched his posture to get a closer look at your face, since he thought you were the daughter of someone close to the Yangs, your appearance and attire were so elegant that he naively believed you might be someone Jeongin studied with, took lessons in something as a child and he wanted to know...

“Really? I don’t remember your face? What did you say your last name is, again?” Hyunjin commented in confusion.

Your heart stopped for a moment... you weren’t the daughter of someone with money, you were the daughter of one of the Yang’s maids, who worked for them for long years, even before you and Jeongin were born.

“Ah, nothing like that, Hyunjin; she’s the daughter of one of my nanny’s when I was a kid, she used to come to my house and we used to play all the time” Jeongin answered again, so naturally and calmly, not meaning to say that your mother was a maid.

For Jeongin, your mother was more than a servant, she really raised him when his mother could never do it; as his mother was... a glamorous woman, more concerned about her status than her children, she was always busy with other unimportant matters, being a real high society woman. Jeongin had affection towards your mother, she made him a kind and tender child, in touch with humanity, and made him see the world with normal eyes, not in a privileged way as he lived from day one. Jeongin was only a year older than you, your mother was absent from work as soon as you were born and until you were 2 years old, she went back to work for them on a more irregular schedule and, when you turned five, she went back to a more fixed and continuous schedule so she could earn more money and, at that age, she found a way to sneak you in, putting you in the Yang’s house while she worked; that’s when you met Jeongin, a lonely rich kid who didn’t know the world and lived like a small adult, he had private tutors for everything, math, music, languages, fencing, karate... but he didn’t know the fun of being a kid, you taught him that.

“Ah, I see is that” Hyunjin commented a bit nervously, biting his lip at the thought that maybe he goofed a bit in deducing that you were someone from his same social class, “I think it’s very cute, that you know each other since you were kids.”

Hours passed, Jeongin didn’t want to leave and even less Hyunjin wanted him to, he still had so many questions once you could give them some privacy, still he continued, helping you to tell what your job was and the way you were going to work. So much time passed that it suddenly became night, so Hyunjin didn’t want to keep you any longer, plus he thought it was very likely that Jeongin would suggest you to take you all the way home.

All the information was also useful for Jeongin, who planned to have his own photography exhibition... but he was such a perfectionist that he didn’t know if he was one hundred percent pleased with his work, felt stuck and.... with the stunned news of his supposed marriage it upset him too much... but in all the haze of emotions you showed up again. Clearing it all.

You were more than nervous but you were trying to act like an adult and maintain your posture at Jeongin’s closeness.

“Mmm well, you can come from 10 a.m. and we’ll finish at 5; you’ll have your lunch break and... only when there’s exhibition I’ll need you most of the day, is that okay with you?" Hyunjin spoke, wanting to say goodbye gently so you could finally go home.

You nodded frantically with a smile. You were happy, relieved of something new and that you could finally quit all those little jobs that kept you stressed.

“Good. Nice to meet you, Y/n, see you tomorrow then” Hyunjin smiled at you.

You looked at Jeongin, about to say goodbye but he was quick to say:

“Aren’t you hungry? Let me take you to dinner.”

Your legs almost trembled; you didn’t know how to say no and.... you were seriously dying to spend some more time with Jeongin, you weren’t sure if it would be the last time you’d see him, like on your high school graduation night. It was obvious that you took another less prestigious and financially accessible university because of your parents, while Jeongin took it upon himself to study at the best university in the country. However, your mother, working for the Yangs, kept you in the same schools as Jeongin, from elementary to high school, since one of the good things that family did for you, besides allowing a nice friendship between you and Jeongin for years, was to keep you in that kind of education. Your mother thought it was too much to ask for the expenses of an expensive university so she did her best to get you into a good and decent institution as well.

Hyunjin narrowed his eyes looking at you two amused, he was also starving and wanted to accompany Jeongin to grab a bite but decided to leave his moments to you two alone.

“Okay” you replied with a soft smile.

“See you tomorrow, we have a lot to talk about, huh” Hyunjin said goodbye to his friend in a joking warning tone.

Hyunjin let out a chuckle and as soon as the two of you walked away and walked to the exit, he picked up his cell phone and texted his best friend in amusement:

Weren’t you about to get married? Watch out You’re still missing your bachelor party

The summer air was so hot, hitting your skin and, as you approached Jeongin’s luxurious car, you swallowed dryly nervously, wondering what the hell you were getting into. Jeongin opened the door for you and you sighed as you got inside, sitting in true leather seats, until you saw Jeongin also get in, you put their seat belts on and Jeongin looked at you happily one last time before starting the car, still processing the fact that... you had come back to him.

You felt slightly nervous, not knowing where he was going and insecure that you weren’t dressed for the occasion, he looked so good without trying, he was wearing his suit and he was a handsome man. You didn’t know how to feel clearly, but you were so sure of the warm feeling in your chest at having him close again.

“Mmm... what are you in the mood for?” he asked, breaking the silence.

“Whatever you decide is fine with me.”

Jeongin didn’t respond to that, only spoke again, leaning his elbow on the armrest, bringing his long fingers up to his mouth, slightly awakening in you a spark of desire and tension as he looked so attractive.

“It’s been so long, what have you done? I want to hear from you”

You averted your gaze from him only to take courage and answer him.

“Oh, well, I still have my last year left in college, I’ll graduate until next summer.”

Jeongin released a soft chuckle.

“I see you went into photography, didn’t you?”he turned to look at you briefly.

You hummed in approval.

“I studied photography too, but I’m still thinking about which path to take exactly.”

“Oh, I see, it can be difficult but... you used to like fashion, film and creative director in general, didn’t you?

Jeongin licked his lips, his body was so warm from your presence and he smiled in satisfaction that you still knew him well and hadn’t forgotten his little details.

“Well, I still like all that and I’m in that dilemma... maybe you can help me find my way.”

His comment made a wave of heat travel to your cheeks, luckily the strong air conditioning was hitting your face and you couldn’t quite allow yourself to get hot.

You continued talking, about little things you used to do as kids, reminiscing all your memories and situations you spent together, between big smiles and shy glances; until Jeongin parked his car in the exclusive parking lot of the fancy restaurant-bar he frequents, of which one of his friends is the owner. You had a glimpse of the place and got nervous again, inwardly shouting that if you had known you’d come to such a place with Yang Jeongin, you’d have dressed much better for the occasion.

“The sushi here is the best, you’re going to love it” he commented, turning off the car and getting out so he could open for you.

He was such a gentleman and you smiled warmly knowing he still remembered your favorite food.

You couldn’t believe... this was your first kind of date with Jeongin. When you were young he used to take you all the time to decent, simple restaurants, trying traditional food since the Yangs had an exclusive diet and Jeongin was just dying to sneak out of school and go eat with you at a place where it looked like somewhere with homemade food, from a family, made with love. It used to be simple... now he’d take you to three star restaurants while you wore your slightly formal clothes since you were just waiting to have a job interview. But you couldn’t deny that it felt so good to walk alongside Jeongin, entering the place at the same time, as two men opened the doors for you, walking beside you, on a sort of date.

“So... do you have a boyfriend now?” he asked unexpectedly.

You shook your head quickly, still in surprise at his question.

“Good” he finished.

You and Jeongin approached with the receptionist, a tall, young woman monitoring each diner’s every entrance. You were dazzled by the elegance of the place and they were not yet fully inside, only in the foyer.

“Good night!” she greeted, “Do you have any reservations?”

“Mm, no. Yang Jeongin, table for two in a private room please.”

“Oh, welcome Mr. Yang” the girl corrected herself immediately, making an impression on you of the control and power that his name and image alone can have, “I’m afraid I don’t have any private rooms available” the woman informed, bringing one of her hands in a straight position near her mouth, saying softly like in a sign of something secret, “It’s Mr. Lee and his girlfriend’s anniversary.”

“Oh, really? Felix’s here? Mmm I see, I have to send them flowers,” Jeongin replied.

He quickly pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and typing quickly, of which you curiously saw his screen and realized that he texted someone saying:

Send flowers to Felix’s house for his anniversary with his gf

Jeongin’s attention returned to the woman.

“Amm and why didn’t Felix close the place today?”

The receptionist lifted her shoulders, “I think his girlfriend wanted it that way. Would you like some...?”

“Yes, please, do you have another table available?” he interrupted her.

“Sure, Mr. Yang! My coworker will guide you to your table, just a second” she spoke.

The woman approached another woman who was standing by waiting to guide people, the receptionist reminded her that he was a close friend of the owner and make sure to give him a good place and treat him lightly with specialty.

You followed the young girl until she took you to a very nice place, a little away from the people, close to the wall with perfect lighting. You were engrossed, you had never been in a place like this, not even on your birthdays where you spend your time looking for very good restaurants and partying around your 6 closest best friends; you never thought you’d get to a place like this. But you were with Jeongin, anything was possible with him.

“Thank you so much, Miss” Jeongin thanked politely as the woman left.

He came to your side, pulling out your chair, waiting for you to sit down. You did, and just as he was about to leave for the seat across from you, an old gentleman stopped Jeongin, shaking his hand and greeting him enthusiastically.

Jeongin smiled apologetically at him as he greeted him and suddenly, the old man mentioned a name that gave you chills.

“Congratulations on Nam Juhee; your grandfather told me the news, we’re all very excited!”

Nam Juhee. Jeongin’s first and only girlfriend, as far as you remember. She was... something else. The complete opposite of you. Why did he mention her all of a sudden?

“Ah, thank you, thank you” replied a chagrined Jeongin.

You subtly turned around, you noticed how the old man watched you for a few seconds, you didn’t know it, but he was judging both of you since he evidently found the future heir of the entire Yang dynasty with a woman who is not his future wife, and he thought he was an expert on the subject, believing the obvious, the temptations and slips of a relationship, so he whispered to Jeongin:

“I know you’re young and that can be very difficult... it’s hard to let go of other beauties, but you have to learn to be a strong man and be there for you one and only woman.”

The old man’s voice was rough and he spoke in a tone of a millionaire if that could exist, his sentence only left you more confused. You didn’t know that either, but Jeongin was full of fury to hear that his grandfather was spreading the rumor that he was going to marry Nam Juhee.

Jeongin sat across from you, softening his countenance when he saw you and trying to forget about the Juhee matter, it was something he would solve later, he was there now, with you. But you couldn’t put your curiosity aside, you hadn’t seen him in years, you didn’t know him as well as you used to, so you asked him:

“Why did he congratulate you... for Nam Juhee?”

Jeongin opened his eyes in surprise.

“Ah, it’s nothing. He’s an old guy, he surely didn’t know what he was talking about and I out of politeness just played along.”

You recognized his nonchalant tone, he was lying, you knew it, Jeongin was a bad liar. It was obvious something was up, he mentioned Jeongin’s grandfather and said something very strange... you wondered if it was possible Jeongin was back with Juhee after so long, you just knew they broke up before graduating from high school. You wanted to put it aside and enjoy your moment, however you still asked:

“What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”

Jeongin raised his gaze from the menu, staring at you and gently denying with an adorable smile from his big lips forming dimples on his cheeks. God, you adored him, wondered why you never tried anything with him and then remembered her name, Nam Juhee, he was always hers.

But now that he didn’t have a girlfriend and you were both adults making decisions of your own... you wondered if it was possible to make Jeongin fall in love with you.

The horrible news was, that you had no idea that Jeongin was an adult without his own decisions, and for the Yangs he was no longer single.

You both ordered and talked again, so comfortable with each other that Jeongin came to think how stupid he was to never confess his true feelings to you, and even more stupid not to look for you all this time.

Jeongin’s life was sweet as vanilla because you were in it. He had everything and he was a great man, everything he wants he got, except for you. But ever since you walked away from him… his life was missing something and everything got worse when he found out about a useless proposal, but when he saw you, everything seemed sweet again.

Both were fascinated to meet again, you were about to leave the table when Jeongin felt another warm hand on his shoulder, he looked up, meeting his friend Felix and his girlfriend, greeting them both with a smile.

“Oh, hey, Y/n, nice to see you again” Felix greeted you.

He always has been a Jeongin’s close friend and you studied in the same schools. You greeted him as well as his girlfriend.

“Can you please explain to me what crazy thing is going on in the Yang's house now?” exploded Felix unexpectedly.

“Oh, you heard it too?” replied Jeongin chagrined.

Felix saw your confused expression and realized that it was not the right time to talk about Jeongin’s hasty marriage rumor.

“Anyway, we have to go, I hope you enjoyed the dinner” Felix hurried to say, with a slightly embarrassed smile, grabbing his girlfriend’s waist and leaving the place.

Jeongin sighed at how simple and affectionate Felix was with his girlfriend, a man 100% free to choose who to be with; he thought about the difference of both families, the Lee’s were free and kind while the Yang’s were incredibly stupid and conservative.

You both left the place after he paid, you waiting behind him with your pink cheeks of embarrassment as he finished up. Jeongin didn’t want to let you go but... he also didn’t want you to take it so rashly that he suddenly invited you to his apartment, you knew he wasn’t that kind of man and you trusted him, a part of you wished he would take the big step and actually invite you over, but you saw him struggle as he wanted to act sensibly. You found him tender.

“Well... I guess you must be tired, you have to work with Hyunjin tomorrow. I’ll drive you home” he warned.

You were so excited. You were living again in your fantasy of a world where only he and you existed... but for some strange reason, the vibe was different, it was still the same innocent feeling but this time you could add something slightly fiery. You had never lusted after Jeongin like that, but realizing he matured so well, you kept fantasizing from time to time about his pronounced jawline that looked so good on him and his long fingers with big hands. He was all man.

You gave him directions to your apartment building. He interrupted you just as you were about to thank him. It was something he came up with, this time he wanted you around, he wanted to make things right. He wanted you like he always did.

“Y/n, you know, I’m about to start my gallery too, but I think I need some help, with the pictures and stuff, mmm would you like to join me after you’re done with Hyunjin?”

You smiled broadly, biting your inner lip trying to contain your joy, he was looking for a way to see you.

“Sure, Innie.”

“If you want me to pay you…”

“I’m fine like that,” you interrupted him, “You, me and your camera just like old times.”

Jeongin smiled broadly, as sincere as he had ever been in a long time.

“Your number is still the same?”

You nodded. Jeongin blushed as he learned that it was only enough to talk to you again to see you again.

“Thank you, Jeongin, it was really nice to see you again.”

And you got out of his car, your heart racing pounding in your chest, so in love with Yang Jeongin again.

[...]

But Jeongin, who drove with a smile all the way to his apartment, came back to reality as he took off his shoes at the entrance of his home and went to sit on his couch, picking up his cell phone and reading Hyunjin’s messages, joking about his tense situation.

Jeongin sighed in frustration as he remembered the morning, his grandfather summoning him to the Yang mansion in his office. Jeongin was sweet and despite being a strange family, it was still his family and he had a soft spot for each of them. So he agreed to go, and his grandfather said everything tactlessly, reminded him that he was already old and his heart wouldn’t hold out long enough and that his wish was to leave Jeongin his legacy, confessing to him that he was always to him like a perfect son, when in reality he was a grandson. He confessed to him that he did not trust Jeongin’s father to leave him everything and that he trusted Jeongin, that he knew absolutely everything and it was true, he spent a lot of time of his life together with his grandfather and made him in a way an old spirit soul, his form of affection was not typical or affectionate, but the love was there.

And then he told him something that Jeongin initially took it lightly, almost as a joke, that also one of his last wishes was to see him married. Grandpa Yang was old and conservative and saw marriage as sacred and another life achievement, still mourning his dead wife for 15 years. The difference was that he did love his wife before he married her.

Jeongin was even tender at first and was about to leave his office trying to reassure him and play along by telling him that he was going to get married soon, but he suddenly says:

“That’s why you are going to marry Nam Juhee.”

Jeongin laughed in disbelief but his grandfather’s expression was serious.

“What?” replied Jeongin.

“You are going to marry Nam Juhee, you’re going to do in a couple of weeks, the ceremony will be held at Deung Jaesang field in the afternoon. Of course you’ll get married in the church. Everything is book, the Nam are more than agreed.”

Jeongin still couldn’t believe it. There was no point in an arranged marriage living in these times. He didn’t even love Juhee, at least not anymore.

He then understood the reason why Juhee was showing up more often at the family gatherings Jeongin was obligated to attend and running into her at every event organized by the Yangs or the company.

His grandfather ended up saying a “I am serious and I hope you are prepared; you can live in the house in the hills or if you prefer an apartment it’s fine, but if you consider having children, the house is the best option.”

Jeongin’s world spun and he almost felt nauseous.

“W-what are you talking about? Nobody here is getting married? I’m not getting married! You better stop with your nonsense.”

Jeongin tried to restrain himself from exploding into a myriad of things to still keep respect for his elder.

“Jeongin, there’s nothing to negotiate, you must do it or-”

“Or what?” he challenged him in annoyance.

“Or forget about what you have. I want it to be that way, end of conversation, what’s wrong? You know Juhee, you used to get along.”

“Are you listening to yourself grandpa? Keep everything, give it to Jeonsik, I don’t care.”

Jeongin knew his grandfather’s seriousness so he just walked out of his home without saying more, his mother tried to stop him but he didn’t listen, he stormed out to tell Hyunjin, trying to process what the fuck he had heard.

He sighed, thinking that he also would take his strike very seriously and from tomorrow he would not show up at the company, instead gathered Hyunjin in the morning so they could talk.

[...]

9:30 in the morning, Jeongin’s younger brother was flooding him with text messages, asking for an explanation of what was going on at home and why everyone was acting strange. Jeongin ignored him and just continued to get ready to meet Hyunjin, but the sound of his door being knocked on completely confused him, he hadn’t been warned that someone was coming into his hallway, so he quickly checked the security cameras outside his door to find his ex-girlfriend standing there.

Jeongin cursed internally and tried not to make noise, showing that he wasn’t home, but the thunderous ringing of his phone indicating a call from her rang; he had no choice but to open it for her, totally indisposed to see her just now.

“Jeongin” she said in surprise, seeing him with only a robe on.

“Juhee, who let you in? I’m gonna fire them” Jeongin replied in annoyance, avoiding looking at her.

“Jeongin, please, I need to talk-”

“About what? You knew about that whole circus? You better stop it with me...”

Jeongin finally looked at her, her eyes were shining and seemed to be asking for forgiveness but he was not moved by an inch of her.

“I don’t want to” she replied firmly interrupting him.

He looked at her incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

“You want to go along with this lie, you really want to marry me? What fantasy are you living in, Juhee?”

“That’s why I was coming to talk to you, to convince you how it can benefit us...”

“I’d rather you to not talk and don’t come looking for me again unless it’s to help me stop such stupidity. I am never going to marry you. Now go.”

Jeongin slammed the door in his face and his body filled with rage again, his blood became heavy, he had never been so angry in his life, but for the moment his plan was to not take the whole fake wedding thing seriously and he would let his whole family go on with their charade while he would continue to live his life, he’d deny everything with the media, call them crazy for attention if necessary, but he wasn’t going to marry someone he didn’t love and certainly not for convenience or a stupid family affair.

Jeongin truly was a romantic. He believed in love because his whole life he lived full of it thanks to you, he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

The reason why he dated Juhee for so many years was because, before he fell madly in love with you, he couldn’t distinguish between true platonic love or a tender and innocent love like almost siblings’, all his childhood he had so much affection and respect for you and when his pubertal body started to notice changes, Juhee appeared, he knew then that something with her could be that kind of love, from thirteen to fifteen he was madly in love with Juhee, she was everything to him but then it became boring for him, almost as if he was just used to her and, at sixteen all the Yang’s believed their romance was so serious, beyond a childish thing and seeing the incredible benefits it would be to unite such young people forever, at that age he was more naive and docile, very easy to manipulate, if he saw the people close to him happy, he believed he was obligated to feel happy too, but it was not so, at sixteen he knew he could love you differently. Jeongin realized it when you had your first boyfriend and he died of jealousy when he saw you together.

You on the other hand, started dating other guys since you really believed you could never have Jeongin loving you the way you wanted so you just tried to fill the void, but you didn’t last too long with them, after all they were still spoiled rich kids and none of them were sweet like Jeongin was, most of the time they left when they found out about your life, humiliated you and treated you with pity; you had enough of them and in the end you walked away from that glitzy and glamorous world you thought you never belonged to, once you entered college.

[...]

On your first day at work you did your best to look prettier, this time you really put more effort into your appearance knowing that at any moment you could see Jeongin.

All night you waited for a message from him, but it never came, you felt slightly disappointed, like the first time you were estranged, when nothing from him ever came into your life again... but being so close to Hyunjin, who Jeongin himself claimed to be his closest friend, you were hoping to feel close to him too.

Hyunjin was with you for an hour and then advised that he had to leave for a moment and it wasn’t until the afternoon when he returned while you were with his assistant going over every detail of the weekend’s event. The footsteps of his characteristic Hyunjin’s chelsea boots touching the floor followed by a:

“Can I stay here to copy everything you do and do it in my gallery?”

From a very pleasantly familiar voice. You looked up to find Jeongin. He was dressed more comfortably, in jeans, boots and a thin sweater loose to his body.

Jeongin had spent the morning with Hyunjin, he explained everything he knew so far. And they both looked confused at the situation and then Hyunjin asked about you, to which Jeongin couldn’t quite explain what you were to him, after so many years.

Jeongin spent the rest of your shift with Hyunjin but he was only paying attention to you, giving you complicit glances and smiling at you, approaching you for gentle conversation and just as the clock struck five and Hyunjin was saying goodbye to you, Jeongin hurried to say:

“I’m leaving too, goodbye.”

This time Hyunjin looked at him proudly, like a father watching his son leave for a date.

“You look nice,” Jeongin complimented you, opening his car door for you to get in.

Your face turned warm; he drove to his gallery establishment, you were impressed, of course, it was a more popular and glamorous place; unlike Hyunjin’s location, which was more artsy and bohemian.

You both walked in and while you admired the place, Jeongin admired you, he felt so good to have all his feelings afloat, love was such a mysterious and unexplainable feeling but always enjoyable for him. It felt so good to be with you; you gave color to his gray and monotonous life at least for a few very long years, he came to the conclusion that in that gap where you didn’t see each other, he did come to need you; something was missing, he didn’t know what it was, until he saw your smile again.

“Woah, well, the place and location are great to start” you spoke, turning to look at Jeongin.

You were surprised, he was smiling and his gaze was so soft on you. You had never seen him like that and it gave you some delicious chills, you liked the way he looked at you. Jeongin was on cloud nine, he felt for a second when two lovers looked for their own place to build a home. His chest became warm, that’s what you were to him, a home where he always felt safe. You’ve seen him cry, get angry, laugh, grow up… and he did the same for you. Jeongin had overthought the situation and felt bad that maybe you must have felt empty as he walked away from you.

“So far this is my job” he mentioned softly, still lost in you and half oriented.

Jeongin showed you a thick photo album and pulled out his laptop to continue looking at his work. You were impressed, he always has been an excellent artist and you admired him too much since he was a kid, he was kind of weird and loved the detail of things, he discovered an old camera from his grandfather when he was ten and from there he found a passion.

“And you’ve never had your own exhibition? This is very good, Jeongin” you smiled at him.

“Thank you, but, I feel like it doesn’t have enough of a match to put them all together. I want a specific theme to exhibit and I can’t find inspiration, also, if I decide on something I like, I have to teach myself how to photograph people.”

“I think you’ll do great. Do you have something already in mind?”

You looked at him and went back to watching his work with fascination, he had already worked with luxury brands like Alexander McQueen, and you didn’t understand why Jeongin always demanded more of himself. You knew that feeling stagnant was a very low blow for him and you wanted to help him however you could.

Jeongin closed his album slightly, brushing against your hand and you looked up instantly.

“Sure. Maybe if I start photographing you again I can gain more confidence” he mentioned seriously, staring into your eyes.

“Me?” you replied with a teasing chuckle, nervous and not knowing how to react.

Jeongin nodded with a small smile, “The concept can turn to you; I’d style you, it’d be fun. Since the place doesn’t have anything yet, we can use it in the meantime as a studio.”

You were hot with embarrassment, the proposal flew out of your mind. But you said.

“Okay.”

“Can I take your measurements so I have the perfect outfit for you?”

Your heart flipped. The rest of your time together, finally Jeongin put shyness aside and started flirting with you, in his own way; he looked so cute that anything from him worked on you. And then, the proposal that was new much to your heart, meeting his apartment.

Destiny was something you didn’t think too much about… but knowing him for so many years, spending time apart and meeting again, made it feel for you so special.

“Finally we can drink without having to hide” Jeongin laughed, passing you a glass of wine.

You admired the spacious place, with an amazing view of the city… you thought of the long, lonely nights your old friend must spend and wished you had enough guts to tell him that it shouldn’t be like that now for him, since he had you, and you always wanted to be his.

“And when did you move?”

“To this place, two years ago, but I left the house as soon as I entered college; god and you only know how much I begged to get out of that madhouse.”

You laughed softly, making yourself comfortable on the soft couch in her spacious living room. Jeongin sat across from you, you felt more comfortable and less pitiful, after all, you used to feel so good next to him.

“And you since when do you live in the building?”

Jeongin just wanted to hear you talk… the words wouldn’t form properly but he really wanted to be with you. If nothing came to his mind, the next thing would be to suggest listening to music or watching a movie.

“Oh, since I started college.”

He stared at you and was lost in you, he thought about how cute you looked with your arm pressed into his couch, and your body turned in his direction so you could better see each other face to face, he was dumbfounded, by the image of your face with his lit up, beige apartment in the background he began to speak, totally aware of what he was saying, but at the same time in a soft, gone tone.

“Sorry for not calling you back…”

Jeongin’s lips were slightly parted and his big eyes were shining; you didn’t think you needed to hear that, until he said it.

A strand of your loose hair fell gracefully towards your face, Jeongin quickly brought his hand up to it and brushed it away putting it behind your ear.

“Were you?” he said again so you looked at him confused, “Were you waiting for my call?”

That gave you chills and you felt the distance of both bodies shorten little by little.

“Were you waiting for me to pick up right away?” you teased softly, tilting your head, an act that Jeongin found adorable.

“I’ve been always waiting for you…”

His thick voice and sincerity upset everything inside you, you knew an incredible tension was building in the place and you were dying for him to be able to calm down, until he said:

“I always wanted to kiss you.”

You smiled. You had nothing to lose now, the two of you didn’t have a partner and you had always dreamed of the feel of Jeongin’s lips with yours.

“You can do it now.”

It took Jeongin years to clear his feelings for you so he could see you again; but less than two days to finally say it all bit by bit without any strings attached, at least not for now.

He approached you, took your wine glass and his to put them on the small table in front of his couch, this time completely close to you, his big hand took your face and finally you kissed. Jeongin started nimbly on you, his lips felt so expert and soft that you tried to keep up with him successfully.

“You can always kiss me, now” you whispered between kisses to which he smiled.

Jeongin took advantage and made it more intense now, his lips were soft but his action was heavy, retaliating for every year of his teenage years where he adored you, he was finally there, with you.

Your night ended in some not-so-innocent kisses, his make-out was so hot that you couldn’t help but feel aroused, you were a woman being touched from the deepest part of your soul, where you will always have a place for Jeongin, but you both decided to stop and he only went to drop you off at your place, telling you very happily that he would see you tomorrow.

[…]

And your story was rewritten the next day when Jeongin picked you up after your work. Hyunjin could only see his best friend’s car outside his gallery and you getting in every day as soon as the clock struck 5.

It was your favorite time of the day, playing the lively little muse of Jeongin, who treated you like a princess and a doll. You would walk into his gallery which for the moment you treated as a studio, Jeongin would bring you amazing designer pieces that he loved for you to model, he would bring you professional makeup artists playing to perfection with your face and you would live in a glamorous world between the cameras flashes.

But your favorite part was when he would come up to you and sweetly shower you with kisses. When the pictures were over, he could kiss you freely as you no longer made use of your makeup, he would grab your waist and share such an affectionate and intimate act with you, then he’d take you out to dinner to different places, as he was terrible at cooking, but one night you offered to cook, living your little romantic dream, while he hugged you from behind and touched you the way he never did, giving you little caresses and getting too close to you.

You both lived carefree, in love, your chests puffing out with pride at finally being able to show your love and have each other. Jeongin was more than ready to ask you to be his girlfriend, he had never fallen in love again, it was as if his heart and mind were always waiting to be healed by you, waiting for your return, his whole world and worries were gone every time you were together, he didn’t want to be away from you. At the same time, he was in a dilemma, if it was too fast to formalize… or if it was exactly the perfect time and you couldn’t wait, as long enough time had passed.

There was no doubt that his feelings were so intense, worthy of being called love. He noticed it, as he lowered his camera from his face and saw you there, doing nothing, preparing a pose, acting awkwardly giving your best; you were to him as dazzling as ten rays of sunshine put together, your personality was beautiful and hadn’t changed a single day since he first met you, he wanted to hug you and never let you go.

And the matter of his fake wedding, it didn’t even exist for him, Jeongin hadn’t heard anything since then, so it wasn’t something he cared about, yet his whole family was acting behind his back, planned in the perfect event and wedding of the year without him knowing anything. There were all the invitees ready, Juhee had her dress, her ring. The last step was to go public, so that even Jeongin would get engaged.

The day of Hyunjin’s exhibition came, you were all the time busy there, a little stressed as you received each guest, until the weight left your shoulders as you saw Jeongin walk in dressed elegantly in a suit, looking so handsome. You smiled at him.

“Excuse me sir, I’m afraid you’re not on the list. Kiss me and maybe I’ll consider you may coming in” you joked with him.

Jeongin played with his coat button and leaned in to give you a quick kiss, causing both of you to explode in warm excitement and, a few seniors to burst into uproar, as the rumor of the wedding between Yang Jeongin and Nam Juhee was well known.

“You look beautiful tonight” Jeongin whispered in your ear.

“Thank you, someone special bought me the dress.”

You were somewhat modest to accept Jeongin’s luxurious and expensive gifts; but all your friends exploded when they saw the kind of gifts he gave you, designer clothes, jewelry, handbags, they encouraged you to receive them and staying with the handsome rich man you tenderly knew since you were little, it was like an unreal fairy tale.

“Will you be here all night?” he asked you.

“Oh no, just until most of them arrive and then another girl will cover for me and I can enjoy the event.”

Jeongin pursed his lips tenderly, “Okay, I’ll wait for you over there with Hyunjin.”

Everything was going well, until your heart burst in surprise at the sight of the woman of your nightmares. Nam Juhee. She looked so beautiful that you even had to avert your gaze, as if seeing her might disrespect her.

She was incredibly millionaire, naturally beautiful without the need for any surgery unlike most of all your former high school classmates who at some point touched the scalpel. She wore a nice black designer dress, a slim diamond necklace sliding down her slender chest and collarbones, looking like a superstar with her perfect image.

She had it all, but she wasn’t on Hwang Hyunjin’s guest list.

She was about to enter, but you stopped her.

“Nam Juhee” you whispered still surprised, catching her attention.

She looked at you in confusion.

“I’m afraid you’re not on the list…” you added.

She drew a half smile on her face, looking at you slightly with her frowns thinking if she knew you from somewhere since you looked familiar.

“I’m not on the list but do really you know my name” she replied amused.

You were about to speak, but Hyunjin’s voice interrupts you, appearing beside you.

“Nam Juhee, what are you doing here?”

“I have to accompany my future husband from now on to everything he does.”

Juhee had a proud expression that Hyunjin almost wanted to laugh in her face except that you were right next to him… and Hyunjin knew you didn’t know about the fake Jeongin wedding thing, so it wasn’t his place to overload you with that information, of something he was sure his friend was going to stop.

“Mmm, Y/n, I’ll take care of the guests now, thank you very much, you can go enjoy the event” Hyunjin spoke to you kindly, taking the iPad from your hands.

“But-” you tried to intervene.

You were confused at the situation since Hyunjin was supposed to be the main attraction and should be at his event getting all the compliments possible. And also slightly confused by Juhee’s husband’s comment.

“Please go” he smiled at you.

You walked away confused, still seeing them and noticed the slight astonishment on Juhee’s face, asking Hyunjin dumbfounded if you were the Y/n she knew.

You ran into Jeongin, who happily grabbed you by the waist and whispered a sweet, “Mm, you’re here.”

Hyunjin didn't want to make a fuss by denying her entrance in front of everyone, so he let Juhee in and immediately called to Jeongin, who confusedly turned away from you to see that it was Hyunjin calling him, he took the call and before he could speak, his friend did:

“Juhee is here and I guess Y/n still doesn’t know about the fake wedding.”

He upon hearing the words fake wedding, moved a little further away from you, with a nervous smile and turning his body so you couldn’t see or hear.

“What are you talking about? That’s not going to happen.”

“Yeah but imagine Juhee telling her all of a sudden, you need to explain it to her, bro. And stop the stupid rumors as soon as possible.”

“What can I do?” muttered Jeongin.

“I don’t know, hide from Juhee or get Y/n out of here. I told Juhee you weren’t here.”

Jeongin turned back to you, with a slightly worried expression to which you brought your hand to his cheek looking at him with concern.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ah, nothing. Shall we watch the exhibition?”

You knew he was lying and noticed that he didn’t look as good as he did a few seconds ago. Jeongin wanted to take you by the hand to start walking, but you stopped him.

“I already know every picture in here anyway, do you want to go get some fresh air? I have to tell Hyu-”

“He’s fine with that, I’ll let him know, grab your stuff and let’s go outside.”

You blinked at how quickly he responded, you felt worried about him since you knew something was up. And as soon as you grabbed your stuff, you were both already outside near where he parked his car.

You moved closer to him, drawing your body to him and holding his soft face again. You thought about how you hadn’t mentioned Juhee because you didn’t want to get upset but he was the one who seemed upset; you wanted to say things like hey, did you know Nam Juhee is getting married? but you thought certain things from the past weren’t worth bringing up.

Jeongin hugged you, you looked at his face closely and in detail and your mouth had to abruptly drop:

“You never told me why you broke up with Juhee.”

Jeongin sighed and lowered his gaze to stare into your eyes. It was time to speak from the heart.

“Because I didn’t love her. I could never love her like I love you.”

His lips twitched, as did every inch of your insides at the shocking news. That meant so many things that you slid your hands from his face to his shoulders.

“I love you” Jeongin confessed, “I don’t care if it’s too soon or too late, I waited too long and I’m here now and I want you to know that I love you, I always have.”

You floated for a few moments, your heart beating intensely but slowly, almost trying to burst out of your chest so it could caress Jeongin.

“Jeongin… you know what, I’ve always loved you too. I still do.”

You looked at him, not blinking for a second treasuring every moment of him with your eyes wide and bright. Jeongin smiled.

“You should date,” he spoke innocently, between giggles and holding you tighter, “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

You widened your smile, you felt small again, young, being asked by your ultimate crush, but it was more than that, it was a love so intense you couldn’t leave.

You nodded, “Yes” you kissed him quickly, “What day is today?”

“August tenth” Jeongin replied.

You smiled warmly at him and rejoined your lips in a long kiss, there was no more worry just now, just the two of you after finally being able to tell each other that you loved each other under the moonlight. It was cheesy, but so cute that Jeongin’s chest exploded in excitement.

“Mm, do you want to sleep in my apartment?” he whispered between your lips and before you could create a sizzling scenario he spoke again, “Just to rest and sleep.”

You laughed softly, “Okay.”

You let your friends and roommates know that you were going to stay over with Jeongin tonight, clarifying that just to sleep. And amidst laughter and a very sweet Jeongin holding your hand as he drove, you made it all the way to his apartment.

“Mmm, I must have something for you to sleep comfortably” Jeongin said, looking for clothes for you.

Until he finally pulled out one of his oversize shirts and a pair of cloth pajama pants. You changed in his room after he left to give you privacy and pulled the pajama drawstring so you could tie it to your body, even so both garments were still too big for you.

Jeongin came in, finding you adorable in his clothes. He put on his pajamas, comfortable shirt and also a pair of thin cloth pants. You removed your makeup and finally approached Jeongin’s bed a little shyly where he was already lying down.

“Come here” he said to you, in such a manly voice that it almost made you shiver.

Once you lay down next to him, he picked you up and pulled you closer to him, hugging you and making you lean your chin on his chest.

“You’re adorable,” he said again, smiling with dimples in his cheeks.

He kissed you slowly, caressing your entire back and never taking his lips off you. Your body was slightly over his, you brought one of your bent legs up on him and the innocent kisses became more and more passionate. You were both starting to get aroused and panting, so shyly you both stopped right there. And you slept peacefully on his chest.

The next morning you were both awakened by the sound of Jeongin’s ringtone, he had already heard a myriad of notification sounds and ignored them, until a call managed to wake you up. Still asleep, Jeongin took his cell phone from his nightstand and turned to look at you happily, you were stirring in your spot on the bed, stretching your body and opening your eyes in such an angelic way for him.

“Good morning” Jeongin whispered in a husky voice to which you just smiled.

Jeongin knew it was early because of the light in his window and at last he saw that it was Hyunjin who was bothering him so early on a Sunday. Jeongin answered, still carving his eyes and yawning.

“Jeongin tell me you already explained to Y/n, you’re all over the fucking news with the weeding thing!!!” Hyunjin exclaimed from the other end of the line.

Jeongin abruptly sat up with his eyes wide as saucers, slightly alerting you to his violent movement.

“No! What?!”

Jeongin’s scream startled you, making you wake up completely, he sounded really terrified. Jeongin stood up completely from the bed to walk to his window.

“Dude, fix this now. I’ll be there for you for anything! Let me know everything!”

Hyunjin hung up the call and Jeongin realized the myriad of messages he had, from close friends completely confused, to complete strangers congratulating him. His assistant had flooded him with messages from luxury brands asking to dress him up and Jeongin sighed at the thought that congratulatory flowers would soon be knocking on his door.

“What’s wrong, Innie?” you spoke.

“Nothing, nothing, it was Hyunjin.”

You knew again that he was lying, his nervous countenance and smile were so easy to read. You also looked for your cell phone but realized you must have left it in your bag that was surely in Jeongin’s living room.

“Ugh, I left my phone in my bag” you suddenly said to which Jeongin couldn’t have been more relieved.

He crawled into the bed to get close to you. Faking a smile, he brushed his nose with yours and said:

“Let’s go have breakfast, shall we?”

You nodded happily, saying you’d like to go to the bathroom first and he warned he’d be in the kitchen waiting for you.

“Mm, pancakes, eggs? Or would you like to order something? Do you want to go to your apartment for more comfortable clothes?” he asked you, once he saw you walking towards him while he had his palms resting on the kitchen island.

“Mmm I’m not that hungry, do you want anything?”

“Coffee is fine with me.”

You were about to approach him but remembered your cell phone in your bag to which you changed direction, excusing yourself with a nervous smile and hurrying to his living room so you could grab your phone. Jeongin stood confused, waiting for you.

You and your obsession with checking your cell phone in the mornings upon waking up was perhaps your big mistake that particular morning. You had many text messages from your friends, alerting you, you thought something important had happened so you quickly entered the first group chat with over 100 messages. Your heart stopped, one of your friends sent a screenshot of a news: The most coveted young millionaire is about to get married: Yang Jeongin and Nam Juhee, heiress of Nam Group.

You scrolled down the screen with fear, eyes wide open as you saw pictures of the two of them, old high school pictures calling them a true and preserved love, articles telling you everything you should know about the wedding of the year, and your worried friends texting you:

is this the yang jeongin you’re talking to? at first I thought it was a joke but even the nam came out to confirm it y/n please tell us it’s not true!!! how are you?

It hurt you because they knew how much you loved Jeongin. You suddenly became a zombie absorbed by the news, searching for yourself every single article on the internet, filling yourself with information you didn’t want to read. Pictures of Juhee picking out a dress and showing off her ring, saying how much she loves Jeongin and that they both wanted to do it as soon as possible. You thought it was ridiculous you almost laughed, it felt unreal you also almost thought it was a nightmare and you hadn’t woken up yet.

Jeongin thought you took too long, so he went to check on you.

“Y/n…” he called your name softly, to find you leaning back on one of his couches, your eyes glued to your cell phone screen.

Fuck. He thought over and over again. He called your name again and you felt it like a distant voice.

You looked up, meeting the worried face of your barely boyfriend, who was walking towards you. Your face reflected nothing, your lips were sealed and only your eyes reflected disappointment and astonishment, causing Jeongin a pain in his chest to see you in a way you had never seen him before.

“You’re getting married?”

Was all you could say, wanting an explanation, but so skeptical of everything at this point.

“No, please, that’s all fake, it’s all nonsense…”

“And when were you going to tell me? Only to you I’m your girlfriend but to the rest of the world you’re Nam Juhee’s fiancé?!” you snapped.

“Y/n, please” he begged, trying to touch your arms, thinking what exactly to say.

You dodged his touch and turned away from him.

“It’s a fake wedding!”

“So you gonna marry her?!”

You didn’t want to listen anymore, you thought you knew Jeongin but he wasn’t who you thought he was after all, you thought. He was lying and saying nothing was going on, he was confessing to you that he loved you, you didn’t know if that was true after all either. You angrily made your way to his room, without thinking clearly you started to undress so you could put your dress back on.

“Y/n…” Jeongin went after you, but turned around when he noticed you were undressing, “Let me explain, it was something stupid my grandfather proposed and I flatly refused, I really did; but the damn old fuck wouldn’t listen to me and continued with his crazy game, I’m seriously sorry, please listen to me. I’m not getting married, I’ll come out and say it’s all a lie.”

You didn’t listen to him, you were struggling to put on your dress as fast as you could until you succeeded and quickly walked out, past him. Jeongin chased you back to his doorway where you were putting on your shoes. You ignored him until he stopped his door handle with his big hand, blocking your way.

“Y/n, please listen to me” he said again in a pleading tone.

You saw him furious, he looked agitated as if he had been exercising, his mouth was dry, he was terrified of losing you.

“It’s fake, it’s not gonna happen. I love you.”

His tone of voice was sincere but you were so blinded in anger that you put your hand over his on his doorknob.

“Talk to me when you clear it up. Let me out” you replied coldly.

Jeongin let you out, he followed after you, waiting for the elevator to open.

“I hope you can please try to understand me” he said again.

As the elevator opened, it revealed itself to be Juhee inside walking up to Jeongin’s hallway along with a tall stout guy wearing black with a thuggish look. You and Jeongin watched them with surprise and disappointment, it all looked comical, he told you it was fake but suddenly his future wife appeared in the elevator to his apartment, it was ridiculous.

Jeongin sighed in frustration as her showing up didn’t help him at all. Juhee looked at you in surprise, thinking the obvious, you had spent the night with Jeongin, but judging by your expressions, the two of you didn’t look happy and it was something she was afraid of, Jeongin coming back to you.

You hopped in as soon as they left and averted your gaze from Jeongin until the doors closed; frustrated, wanting to run all the way home.

“Who the fuck let you back in?” spat Jeongin.

“That was Y/N, are you with her?” Juhee hastened to say, raising her eyebrows in concern.

“What do you care, oh my god” Jeongin rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“We need to talk right now, please” Juhee begged, following Jeongin who was walking back to his apartment, ignoring her.

Jeongin was about to grab his stuff and go after you as soon as possible.

“What the fuck..?” he said annoyed as he felt the big guy stopped him from closing his door so Juhee could enter uninvited.

“I know you’ve been seeing Y/n, everyone knows, your family has been watching you and…” Jeongin watched her say, with distaste on his face, Juhee turned to the guy, “Can you give us privacy please? Thank you.”

The thug walked out of Jeongin’s apartment just as she instructed, closing the door behind him.

“Good dog,” Jeongin joked.

Jeongin was so annoyed by the fact that she was coming towards him talking about who he should be with as if she was entitled, one of the reasons he broke up with her besides the fact that he was betraying his heart himself, was because Juhee slept with one of his teachers.

“Jeongin, they are watching you and if you don’t go through with the wedding thing they are capable of… hurt Y/n.”

He sighed, frowned his face in annoyance and touching his forehead, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Junhee pulled out an iPad, showing pictures of each of your encounters with Jeongin, having dinner, going into his studio, taking you home; he didn't know how to react so once again he didn't take it seriously, except for the part where she mention hurting you, and it did scare him a little that you were being spied on.

“Are you spying on us or…?”

“Jeongin I’m serious, I think you’re aware of what your own family can do if you don’t listen to them.”

That sentence made his blood run cold, she was so right, but he didn’t want to see it clearly. His family could be a monster at times, but to such a degree of going so far as to hurt you? Jeongin didn’t know what to expect from the Yangs anymore.

“And what the fuck are they planning to do? I won’t let them hurt Y/n and I can’t marry you and fulfill their stupid whim either. I will never fucking marry you, Nam Juhee!” Jeongin burst out, it was being too much information and feelings in such a short time.

“You can just pretend!”

“Pretend what? Be a perfect husband for you? What the fuck is wrong with everyone? This isn’t the last fucking century to arrange a marriage.”

“Jeongin this is for real, did you see the fucking guy outside? He’s a fucking hitman your family hired to give me the details of your affair with Y/n, waiting for me to snap so I can send him to hurt her, putting all the blame on me!”

“What?” he said incredulously, ”Affair? Mine with her is not an affair, you and I are nothing, don’t talk about her like that.”

“Jeongin if you don’t get married… Fuck, you don’t know but your grandfather has some kind of terminal illness and arranged everything for this wedding. Do whatever you want with Y/n, I don’t care, but you must hide, a marriage with you is in my family’s favor.”

He ran his tongue the inside of his mouth, annoyed and incredulous, he couldn’t believe the typical excuse of the damn old man dying. Jeongin glared at her one last time, grabbed his things and walked out of his apartment leaving Juhee there amidst the tension and previous screams. He went out looking for you but it was useless, you didn’t answer his calls or messages, they wouldn’t let him into your apartment, so desperate he sent a message to Hyunjin, telling him to tell you that nothing was true and that he was about to stop everything.

Furious with no other alternative, he drove to his childhood mansion, where his parents, grandfather and younger brother lived. He stormed out in a fury, being rude to the poor maid who opened the door for him.

“Where the fuck is everyone, huh?!” he shouted, stranded and accelerated at the immense entrance.

“Mr. Yang Jeongin, they’re in the fifth room on the second floor,” the maid answered him timidly.

Jeongin did not respond and breathing heavily in anger, he pushed open the large doors, revealing in himself his grandfather in a hospital bed, with a nurse putting him on IVs and his parents sitting in front of him.

“Oh, so is it true? You’re actually fucking dying?!” he shouted without thinking.

“Yang Jeongin!” his parents scolded him, quickly getting up from their chairs, “Let’s talk outside, please” his mother whispered to him.

“No, I’ll do the talking. You want me to get married? Fine, I’ll do it, but with who I decide to do it with. And if you don’t have enough time left and want to see me do it already, then I’ll do it now, I’ll marry Y/n.”

Everyone seemed startled by the news, more so his grandfather with the disrespectful and raised tone of voice in which he spoke to him.

“You're not going to marry Y/n, are you insane?” this time his mother snapped.

“Ah, so do you remember Y/n?” her son challenged them.

“I’m not going to let you marry a servant’s daughter, what are you thinking, Yang Jeongin?” his mother looked at him in terror.

“What? I thought you wanted to see me married.”

Jeongin’s mother dragged him out of the room, closing the doors and letting her husband reassure his father.

“Just marry Juhee and let your grandfather believe you; do with Y/n whatever you want, make her your mistress and buy her a damn beach house, but marry Juhee.”

Jeongin was unable to believe what he was hearing, bullshit after bullshit. His body was as tense as it had ever been before.

“Why are you insisting that I do it?”

“Because it will bring us many benefits! Think about it.”

“Then what? I should stay married until the old fucker dies?”

“Yang Jeongin, don’t talk about your family like that! Every family has to make sacrifices, even for the ones they love. Our kind should stay with the same kind.”

“You are not my family. Don't talk to me about love, what do you know about that?” he spat in annoyance, scowling at her with his gaze.

“Just marry Juhee, or you know the unspeakable things your grandfather is capable of” she threatened him.

Jeongin let out a cynical laugh, deep down knowing the kind of psychotics the heartless rich could become.

“So what, you’re going to kill her if I don’t show up for the fucking ceremony?” his mother raised her eyebrows, “Do it!” he challenged her, blinded in anger not knowing what he was saying, “Kill her, do it!” he screamed in her face like a little kid, “Do it and I’ll fucking kill myself too. Will you be able to take the blame for killing your son too?”

“Don’t talk nonsense, Yang Jeongin, it’s a fake wedding! Do what you decide best for the maid’s daughter if you want to protect her.”

His eye twitched in fury and stress. He hated his family, hated the way they talked about you, hated every part of his miserable life. Her heart was empty without you, how could you possibly agree to be with a man who would publicly be married?

[…]

5:30 in the afternoon. You missed Jeongin, your anger had ceased and you wanted to hear his voice again, you wanted to listen patiently to what he had to tell you. You didn’t want to answer the thousands of calls and messages he sent you, you just decided to show up at his studio without telling him, where you just recently expressed so much love, hoping to find your lover there, and you did, his car was parked in front of the place. You knocked on the door and seconds later, Jeongin greeted you with a shocked expression and his big bright eyes, hugging you while whispering your name breathlessly, he couldn’t get enough of saying it and he couldn’t get enough of you either, he needed you in his arms so he hugged you tightly, as if he hadn’t seen you in years. His face got lost in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and brushing against your skin, making him feel in heaven again.

“I came because… I know you’re working on something important and you have to finish that thing about your project” you lied, wanting to sound cold but your voice cracked as you lay in his arms.

Jeongin let go of you, he sniffed hard, and as he nodded, you noticed he was about to cry and was holding back, breaking your heart.

He let you in without saying anything and you followed him into the room he used for lighting, cameras and equipment. Jeongin was very sensitive and understood if you didn’t want to talk, just with being near you and you being willing to see him was enough for him.

“Just, this outfit is missing and we’re done with photographs” he spoke in a thick and slightly weak voice, showing you a beautiful white dress, causing you to shiver at the irony.

You looked into his eyes and moved closer to him, you were about to push the dress away and kiss him as he looked so perfect and vulnerable, but the weakness of the moment won you over, thinking that it might be the only time you will wear a white dress together with Jeongin before his ridiculous wedding.

You took the garment and started to dress in front of him shamelessly, making Jeongin blush and avert his eyes, but he wasn’t strong enough to not to see you this time. You moved closer to him, turning your back to him so he can help you with the back zipper; his long fingers pulled up the tiny zipper, you felt the warmth of his breath, he caressed your shoulders for a moment and abruptly you turned around.

“I’ve been waiting for you to make it public about the fake wedding” you blurted out, unable to contain yourself any longer.

Jeongin averted his gaze downward and swallowed nervously.

“Y/n… I, I’m getting married, I’m gonna do it.”

Your chest tightened to an enormous intensity, not the kind of words you expected to hear. Jeongin expected a bad reaction from you, but you remained silent, wanting to hear an explanation. He looked up and met your kind gaze, watching him intently.

“I’ll do it… just to protect you, they’re threatening me that something might happen to you if I don’t, I’m sorry. I’d rather sell my image and sign an insignificant piece of paper than let anything happen to you.”

You couldn’t think of anything but him, so you just said, “And I won’t be able to see you again?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me again after I told you I was going to do it.”

You sighed, Jeongin was again on the verge of tears.

“I don’t want to be the other woman” you confessed to which he pouted with his chin quivering as he nodded, ”But I don’t want to lose you either. Because… you don’t love her, right?”

“Of course not, I only love you…. I-I’m so sorry” he stammered finally to burst into tears.

Again you fell to pieces, you held his face as you tried to calm him down and watched him cry, cry for a love that he waited so long for and that he really wanted to be the purest and most adored treasure of both of you. You managed to calm him, wiping his wet cheeks and you watched each other, aching and only with the spark of hope of your love for each other. Your lips met only to reaffirm that there were still feelings in both of you, you did it so slow and desperate, like a goodbye kiss, releasing every energy from your bodies, touching him one last time before sharing him with another woman.

He began to caress you, his wild kisses involved his tongue and both of your bodies were caught between the seduction and pleasure of the moment, becoming completely aroused. Your hands moved down from his face to his marked pecs letting them rest there; Jeongin drew you closer to his body to the point of being able to feel his throbbing erection, absolutely devoted and working only for you, his body reacting and operating only for you. Your core throbbed in satisfaction and each new caress burned your body, you were as needy for sex as you had ever been, so needy for him and his demonstration of love.

Jeongin sensed the synchronization of your arousal with his own in your heavy, panting breathing so his soft lips moved down to your neck, kissing it, causing sweet moans to escape from your lips that were the motivating and pleasurable music for Jeongin. He subtly licked and nibbled your skin, unleashing the arousal of your femininity, moistening your entrance with warmth and intensity. Jeongin continued to lower his kisses, holding you tightly by your waist, he kissed your breast and pulled your dress up, tracing his sweet caresses down your abdomen to your intimate area covered by your panties, he raised his gaze to look at you with a small smile before pulling the garment completely down, leaving your pussy exposed. You sighed at the sensation of your uncovered pussy and felt his breath hit the skin of your mons venus to then be filled with pleasure with his lips kissing it and taking your entire pussy with his mouth, parting your wet folds and starting to lick and suck you, weakening your body, driving you crazy as you were perfectly taken care of in such a sensitive area.

You held onto his shoulder and your other hand stroked his hair, you threw your head back as your chest and abdomen rose and fell battling between the intensity and tension of emotions, while Jeongin enjoyed himself with his face buried in your core. His long, slick finger massaged your clit, while his tongue flicked past tasting your labia and with his other hand he leaned in to open your pussy and relished every inch of it. You gasped, climaxing with his tongue inside you, your body swooning at the force of your orgasm. Jeongin’s cock throbbed choking in his pants, but he just wanted you to have your moment and treasure every sensation he could make you get to feel.

[…]

“So you’ll just pretend until your grandfather dies..” you said, walking into his room, ready to be wrapped in his strong arms again.

“Mmhum” Jeongin murmured, calmer at having you, but at the same time uncontrollably uneasy about the situation.

He took hold of your hands, intertwining them, standing in front of you, unwilling to talk about it, but you had too many questions if you were going to live under Juhee’s shadow, being Jeongin’s mistress.

“And… Will you live together?” the answer was going to break your heart.

You didn’t want to imagine anymore, you couldn’t bear the fact that he would return home every day to her, Juhee would show off her husband and marriage to everyone while you would have to live in messy sheets of a deception with his divided love.

“Y/n, please” he whispered, to get you to stop.

“You’re right. If I will be your mistress I better start behaving like one” you joked, hiding your pain, you let go of his hands and brought your arms up to wrap around his neck.

“Don’t ever say that. You’ll never be that to me; you are everything. My true love.”

You smiled broadly at his corny phrase that made it turn warm to the depths of your soul. You loved him too. You spread your smile to him and you kissed again, more relaxed until the action became more passionate. The temperature rose, leading Jeongin to caress your pussy under your skirt with his fingers; after about your situation a few hours ago, he had this thought of making you his again and again in a passionate union of souls and bodies and, he felt more free to touch you.

You moaned still with your lips trapped in his as you let yourself be carried away by his caresses on your center, his fingers pulling away the fabric and touching you pleasurably all over your folds and sensitive spot, you trembled unable to resist anymore and your sweet lover surprised you with his thumb pressing perfectly on your clit and two of his fingers teasing your insides, filling you but leaving you insatiable.

Jeongin pulled away from you, brushing his nose against yours, enjoying your expression of pleasure and soft whimpers. You had never desired Jeongin sexually, until now, just when he became quite the man and gentleman who knew exactly how to treat you, how to drive you crazy and push you to the edge with his precise touches and movements. Your center moistened his fingers and in the cloud of lust you couldn’t stop thinking about his cock filling you and controlling every inch of you.

He found a rhythm with his fingers, digging effortlessly with his long, nimble digits, almost deep into your loins, bringing you so close to your orgasm.

“Je-jeongin, please.”

You knew exactly what you were begging for, you wanted to be taken by him and his manhood. Jeongin smiled and withdrew his hand from you, making you sigh.

“Let me see you naked, love” he requested, his eyes dark in desire still gazing lovingly at you.

And you quickly obeyed him, showing yourself purely vulnerable in front of him, ready to join your bodies together. Jeongin took you again and kissed you, squeezing and caressing your naked ass and still between kisses, you helped him undress completely, revealing his worked body and well endowed cock, making you throb at the thought of being filled by it, after seeing it finally.

“Let me put on a condom, make yourself comfortable on the bed” he said sweetly, giving you a kiss on your forehead as if it was already a normal thing between you.

You climbed onto his bed, flustered, with your wet pussy and aroused body, waiting impatiently as you watched him reach over to his nightstand and pull a condom from there and then put it on.

He positioned himself between your legs, his fingers again teasing your entrance for a few moments, then lining up his stiff, throbbing cock at your entrance, slowly sliding it in until it made you squeal as it stretched every part of you and felt it brush against your cervix. You both gasped, Jeongin feeling on cloud nine with your walls taking his cock so well.

“Does it feel good?” he added, somewhere between worried and excited.

“Mm, yes Jeongin, you feel so good.”

You hugged him, gently digging your nails into his broad, worked back and scratching him unintentionally as his thrusts were perfection, the latex wrapped around his cock sliding deliciously into you, pounding you slowly and deeply, letting him take you, filling you to capacity. Jeongin’s soft groans in your ear drove you further over the edge, he babbled cute things in his husky voice and kissed you sweetly from time to time, blinding him in lust to the idea of having you all to himself, demonstrating all his love for you.

He continued, thrusting intently, his hips performing a series of delightful motions into your core, his cock bulging over your belly, it felt so good that you cried his name until you arched your back and released the good pain and tension into an orgasm, surrendered between passion and love for him.

[…]

It was supposed to be one of the happiest days of a man whose soul is about to be united for life with the social approval of his acquaintances, with the love of his life. But Jeongin felt miserable, since that was not true, his true love that moved every inch of him would not be waiting for him at the altar today. You were lying in your bed, your heart open, waiting for news that the wedding was over so you could run into his arms and love each other on the sly.

Jeongin could only think of every part of you, all of you that completed him to perfection and the passionate and sweet act you shared before the wedding night, making love completely devoted, promising each other again a lasting love over any adversity, reciting truthful vows into the air as he caressed your naked body entangled in his sheets with his scent.

What rewarded him, was that the day after his wedding it’s gonna be the grand opening of his first exhibition in the gallery you both had worked so passionately on, dedicating it to his true muse, calling it in honor of you and only showing pictures of you, just to piss off the world and show them whose heart truly belongs to him.

Jeongin looked at himself in the mirror, his lip began to tremble and heavy tears slid down his cheeks. His hair was perfectly styled, his expensive suit tailored for him and he was about to leave, where he was surrounded by people and media ready to write fallacies about an empty and fake wedding, Jeongin thought that they believed he had it all, a kind millionaire about to marry another rich beautiful woman, but the truth is that he was and had nothing without you.

｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆｡°✩

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @bubblebisk

[madelynraemunson]

CASUAL part 2

see part one here.

modern!incel!asshole! eddie x fem!reader

It’s 7 in the morning. Eddie is seen doom-pacing in the halls of Hawkins High.

a/n: i promised y’all part 2 so here ya go. let’s make him pay. 💋 also shout out to @love-anonymous-writer for bringing this universe to life. a little angst here and there is good for the soul <3

who got the last laugh?

[WC: 1.1k words]

“Please respond…please respond…please respond…”

The soles of Eddie’s shoes slam against the tiles of Hawkins High as he rushes to your locker. Meanwhile his entire soul has left his body.

You didn’t answer any of his phone calls. All the texts he sent you were left on read. Having been so accustomed to your instant replies, Eddie essentially catapulted himself into a full-blown panic last night when he saw the ominous text you sent him...and the nothingness from you that followed soon after.

The crickets of Forrest Hills that taunted his eardrums later that night served as a vengeful metaphor of the brick wall you built between you and him. The girl who once gave him everything has now started giving him nothing. You’re nowhere, but everywhere. It’s like you’ve become a ghost.

When he sees you, color drains from Eddie’s guilty face. You look so beautiful today, hair curled down to the small of your back, a nice simple dress and some slippers, with makeup ever so gracefully applied. A class act, even when plagued with the utmost disrespect.

“Hi," he says to you as he approaches.

“Hi.”

As far as Munson knows, he no longer exists to you. He's a shadow now, a carapace of a boy you used to love 'cuz now — after hearing what you heard in his trailer — you know he's not the same boy that made you feel all the butterflies. That boy is long gone. You even start to wonder if that version of Eddie even existed.

“C-can we talk, please?” he requests.

“What’s to talk about?” you challenge him, stoically. “Don’t wanna annoy you with my rambling.”

“You never annoy me…” he attempts as you mindlessly comb through your locker for your homeroom notebook.

“Mm.”

You were casual about it. Too casual about it.

“You… uh…” he clears his throat. “You made me cookies yesterday?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “I was at your door for quite a while so you must’ve been busy. Cookies were taken care of though.”

“I see…” Eddie mutters as the pieces all start coming together.

He thinks about how he always leaves his windows cracked open. His uncle would whoop his ass if he hot-boxed the trailer again, so it became a habit. But the trailer park is small, and on certain afternoon, if someone from a nearby unit had dropped a pin, Eddie would hear it. Suddenly, fear arises in him.

Surely, you didn't hear everything he and The Boys™️ said. He had his headphones on and he couldn't have possibly been that loud, could he? Unless technology failed him again.

The warning bell sounds throughout the halls and you excuse yourself from the narrative. Eddie tags after you like a lost puppy, nearly tripping on his shoelaces along the way.

"W-wait!"

The first class of the morning is homeroom. A class you unfortunately shared with Eddie, Grant, and Harmony.

You didn't want to see any of their faces. Eddie's face would serve as a reminder of how fake and construed the fucker is. Grant's would remind you of how insignificant you were to the guys (despite how welcomed they made you feel at the start). And Harmony. Harmony's beautiful face — with a body far too developed for a girl in her grade to match — would only remind you of the fact that the girl didn't inherently do anything to you... other than be beautiful and get caught in the crossfire of horny, greasy teenage boys.

It’s a fucking mess.

You swallow hard and keep your chin up regardless. Because what other choice do you have? You either feign your confidence or let irrelevant boys crush it.

You continue strutting over to your seat as Eddie trails behind at a measurable distance. Along the way, you inevitably run into the Junior Queen of Hawkins High herself, Harmony Heathers.

Harmony issues you a sweet smile. You smile back at her in return. And you didn't even need to turn your back to know that Eddie most likely did a double-take when sliding past her.

The late bell rings, indicating the start of class.

“Okay,” your homeroom teacher Mrs. Helleck exhales as she clasps her hands together. “Good morning everybody. For Red Ribbon Week this week, we’re gonna be doing a group project. Worth 20-percent of your grade.”

The class erupts in agonistic groans while Mrs. Helleck attempts to calm them down. You feel Eddie’s gaze burn into you, indicative to the fact that he was looking forward to using you again like he always seems to do. This time around it would be for a grade instead of a two-pump fuck. But you had something else in mind.

“You will be doing a presentation,” Helleck continues. “With a partner of your choice. Your job is to create a slogan along with a list of reasons why you should stay away from drugs.”

“Drugs Instead of Hugs,” Grant mutters to Eddie.

The general vicinity collectively praises his lukewarm wannabe 4-Chan edged joke.

You roll your eyes while your poor homeroom teacher tries to proceed with her instructions, despite the immature snickers.

“You will be presenting with your partner on Friday. Do not wait until last minute to do this assignment please. Deadlines catch up to you fast.”

Mrs. Helleck makes her way over to you.

Like Dungeons and Dragons, everyone in the class is assigned a “classroom role”. You’re the leader of the pack, the ‘foreman’, to which you never understood because up until today you never had the confidence to call the shots. The alphabet has never been on your side anyways.

“Now dear,” your teacher smiles down at you. “Since your last name starts with an A, you get first choice. Who would you like to work with?”

Eddie’s gaze is extra fixated on you now. It gives you a greater deal of satisfaction than tossing those cookies ever did. It was you who had the reigns now, instead of those woman-patronizing incels.

You start to smile connivingly, to which the guys start to gulp over. You can tell they’re putting two and two together, their two brain cells collectively working over time to discover that you had a delicious upper-cut up your sleeve.

It’s the very least they can do. If they wanted to taint your name to smithereens in your absence, you’re sure as hell going to give them something else to lose their minds about in Math 3.

And when all eyes are fixated on you, you tilt your chin up to project your voice. You want to make sure everyone, especially Grant and Eddie, hear you loud and clear when you sinisterly announce,

“I pick Harmony.”

tag list: @damp4eddie @eddiesguitarskills @babygirl229 @love-anonymous-writer @ziggeddie @socially-awkward-eliza @shesahellfirebabe @ali-r3n @yourdailymemedelivery @mincloud @jupitersnights @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @whisperingtales @fearlessreid @emma-munson

divider by: @benkeibear

[poomphuripan]

what do you think of the comments on mdl of my stand in calling ming a cheater?

hi nonnie []~(￣▽￣)~* that's actually something i've been thinking to write about because i saw those remarks as well but it is such a controversial thing to discuss. if you don't mind, this discussion post will be filled with mild spoilers of the novel.

!!!!!! novel spoilers warning !!!!!!

alright so first of all, @ineffable-opinions wrote an excellent post about the danmei tropes in my stand-in (which i highly recommend everyone to read). this is a great post as they discussed the white moonlight trope presented in my stand-in.

i don't consider ming, a cheater because as i see it, tong was simply ming's white moonlight. ming never established a physical nor emotional connection with tong, throughout his time knowing joe. tong was always an idealised fantasy, he's mistaken it for it to be love. in other words, i see it as ming looking up tong like a delulu fanboy with an idol crush than him actually having any substantive feelings for tong ever. i mean if you had a partner that looked like a kpop idol, and sex with your partner makes you feel like you're achieving your sexual fantasy, are you cheating on your partner? maybe? maybe not? probably controversial and debatable question but for me, i don't consider it 'cheating'. i do think ming took for granted joe's genuine feelings and did not fully appreciate joe's affection (ming you ungrateful bish, repent).

during their time together playing pseudo 'not boyfriends', ming showed that he could be an okay partner. whether it's caring about joe's day at work, how hard joe's job as a stuntman, accepting joe's invitation to accompany him to his wrapped filming party.

i mean it's really bare minimum but that's already quite a lot coming from the dude who's afraid as hell once joe started mentioning the 'faen' word, triggering his self-defense mechanism, depreciating himself trying to claim that joe wouldn't be able to stand him.

i think one of the most obvious example of how afraid ming was to lose this relationship, was him using the word 'faen' in the last breakup fight with joe. this line was very ironic of him to say, because i'm sure even ming knows this line applies more to himself (how in this life, ming won't be able to find a better boyfriend than joe).

i absolutely love ming's emotion progression in ep 4 because it encapsulates perfectly his 21 year old spoiled brat attitude. he was confused when broken up over the phone, then mad and started throwing tantrum trying to get joe to coax him (like joe always does), until he realized it wouldn't work this time and he started frantically begging for joe to stay so they could go back to playing house and being happy.

personally, i don't consider it cheating because by around ep3/4, you can already started seeing ming settling down with the option that makes him "happy". some may even argued that by this point, he has 'recognized' his feelings (not me though, i think he just wanted his simple happiness/domestic bliss back, i still think it's during the period he lost joe 1.0 that he learned what love truly is).

now the most important question of all: is ming cheating on joe 1.0 with joe 2.0 or vice versa?

to quote chapter 63 of Professional Body Double (My Stand-In novel), i think the author puts it best how ming views joe 2.0.

He has fallen to the point of looking for the shadow of that person in a substitute. This is his punishment. When he thought that he was using [Joe] as [Tong]’s substitute, he was not aware of the actual person who had entered his heart. He had failed miserably with this method but still could not help himself from wanting to try. There are no other reasons. Just that he was in too much pain. He can’t endure anymore. He was adamant that [Joe] is not dead but no one could confirm it. That little doubtful voice in his heart is getting louder and louder, but is roughly suppressed by him time and time again. To continually be persistent with this thought, he needed a lot of willpower. He knew better than anyone else. Even if this [Joe] could bring him a little comfort, he wanted to be close to him, just like a long frozen person wanting to be close to a matchstick. This can’t save him… but he couldn’t stop himself from taking that little warmth.

i LOVE this metaphor and this little inner thought of ming we got because we can see how he's very much aware that he's falling right back into the bad habit that got him into trouble in the first place but... he's a fucking fool... who resorts to spiritual shamans for hope...

but also the familiarity he got from joe 2.0 is way too strong to joe 1.0. so for me, i'm seeing it as ming is using joe 2.0 as a means for comfort and relief as well as keeping him close to observe the similarities between him and joe 1.0, rather than viewing joe 2.0 as a replacement for joe 1.0 (because keep in mind, at this point he doesn't know they're the same person yet).

so !!!!!!!!! BIG WARNING of spoilers from the novel !!!!!!!!! if joe had considered joe 2.0 to be a direct replacement of joe 1.0, i don't think he would have had this conversation with joe 2.0 about joe 1.0.

Ming spoke right at this time. His voice sounded very faint and very soft, “Joe, are you hiding something from me?” Joe didn’t know what Ming meant by this. He asked cautiously, “I don’t understand what Khun Ming means.” Ming, “The feelings you give me is too familiar. It’s as if I’ve known you and have lived with you before. Why is this?” Joe forced himself to responded, “Maybe this is fate.” If it wasn’t because they are fated, they would not be in the predicament of today…with a relationship that is so unclear in both past and current lifetimes. “Joe. Tell me….If a person had been missing for more than two years, do you think he may still be alive?” Joe’s tensed up and smiled, “Most likely impossible. If still alive, he would have come back already.” “Why can’t he be alive? It could be that he didn’t come back because he doesn’t want to come back.” Joe is silent for a moment, “Khun Ming, are you talking about the other Joe?” Joe clearly felt Ming’s body stiffened. Then Ming asked, “How much do you know about him?” “I don’t know anything at all. I just heard from what others have said.” Ming quietly asked, “Then do you know what relationship I have with him?” Joe’s heart tightened, What relationship? You say, what relationship? He clenched his teeth in the dark, “I don’t know.” Ming’s voice is like the rising of the quiet abyss, cold and empty, “I feel that he’s not dead. He just doesn’t want to come back.” Joe heard his own voice dissociated from his thoughts and automatically asked, “Why won’t he want to come back?” Ming didn’t respond to his question, instead he tightened his arms around Joe.

i like that in the 2.0 timeline, we got ming learning but also not learning his dumbass mistakes at all. ming learned that he should be upfront about his feelings and be straightforward with his sexual partner, but at the same time he's still impatient, hot tempered and say hurtful things easily.

so i think through and through the second half of the series, you'll see his fidelity to joe (the soul) only. while perhaps it was the shadow of a back that mesmerized ming in the first place, but it's the kindhearted soul of joe that ming truly fell in love with, the person that showed him what love means, the only period in his life where he felt happiness.

© gif courtesy of the talented @alienwlw

you can also check out @befuddledcinnamonroll and @ineffable-opinions discussion on matters of transmigration, attachment of the soul with the body in their excellent posts, here and here. to sum it up, i think up kinda succintly puts it here in this interview.

of course, this is not to excuse dating/fucking anyone who resembles your missing ex but then treating them like they're your object ;_; like i'm just saying i don't think what ming is doing with joe 2.0 can be categorized as cheating (for me). it's something scummy, foolish, dumb, really stupid but... not cheating ┗( T﹏T )┛.

also if you notice, ming doesn't sleep around. surely he could have slept with dozen of nice looking man with similar physique to joe 1.0 to "keep the warmth" if he was that type of dude... but he doesn't... so for me, i see this proposal he has for joe 2.0 is not simply because of a physical attraction/similarity to joe, but it's the vibe/the aura/the ✨energy✨ that joe 2.0 radiates that is too similar to joe 1.0, drawing ming to him again.

tldr: ming is a lot of things but for me, i would never characterize him as a cheater. ming is a scummy, spoiled, arrogant, entitled, hot tempered hi-so brat but also a foolish little crying bag with zero wife-chasing skills. his only tactic is begging and getting his waterworks flowing.

ps: i'm not sure if this ask actually answers your question at all but hopefully some of my thoughts made sense ಥ_ಥ

[iveneverdoneanythingwrong]

This line. This one line for me colored all the rest of Porsche's journey in this show. This one line really grabbed me and percolated in the background of my mind throughout the rest of the series, because, seriously?? Who says that to their kid? Why make it obvious that you have a favorite child? Porsche was 10 when the "accident" happened so not only did his mother say this to her child, she said this to her prepubescent sponge of a child who will internalize just about everything.

As the rest of the series goes on, this is the line that made me think that Porsche and Chay are actually half brothers (or at least everyone but them thinks they are, including Nampheung). Bear with me here:

For context, this line came right after Kinn asked about Porsche's tattoo, and Porsche says that his mom liked phoenixes and that she talked about them all the time.

This context adds an element of rebirth to her directive not to "die" until Chay has graduated. Before the "accident" Chay was much too young to take in anything from such talk, so the phoenix imagery was directed solely at Porsche. So what "death" and "rebirth" was Mom expecting for her eldest?

The easiest explanation for this is that (only?) Porsche's (assumed?) father was in the mafia. We only get two real examples of Porsche's relationship with his mom pre-mafia-events and they both revolve around phoenix imagery: the sauna scene, and the memory scene where she tells him to "Grow up and fly with freedom, be strong and immortal like a phoenix."

When she talks to child!Porsche she talks of being strong, being free, of dying and rebirth. She's preparing him for the trial of being hunted/taken by the mafia. She's instilling the yearning for freedom, and the idea that no matter how hard or how bad it gets (death), it won't last forever (rebirth). In telling Porsche not to die until Chay has his degree, she wasn't suggesting that Porsche is worth less to her than Chay. I think what she's asking is that no matter what happens, Porsche should try to make sure that Chay is set up for a good life away from the mafia. Porsche cannot die (be subsumed by the mafia) until Chay finishes his degree (is independent of the mafia). Because no matter what happened to her, the mafia would be coming for Porsche sooner or later. Which they did. And they did only come for Porsche.

Being half brothers would help explain the way the mafia was completely focused on Porsche and only treated Chay as an information source on Porsche/hostage for Porsche's behavior. Korn only mentions Chay as part of the deal for Porsche to work there (ep1) or as a carrot after punishment (ep5). Because he was important to Korn as Porsche's brother, not as Nampheung's son. If Korn's and Gun's obsession with Nampheung was the reason for bringing Porsche in, then they would have done the same with Chay.

(Is it possible for Korn to also already have other plans for Chay? Absolutely. That fucker is a fucker. But once he had Porsche he said that all the pieces were in place. Chay had not been secured as a piece on the board.)

(Also, I don't think Chay's age would be a barrier for Korn/Gun; they're not waiting for him to get older before doing to him what Korn did to Porsche. For one, Macau goes to the same school Chay does. For two, Chay is at least 18 and applying to university. I don't think a year or two will phase the mafia. Especially since Vegas' goons had no problem kidnapping him, twice!)

Porsche was deliberately hunted, kidnapped, and manipulated into the mafia because of who he is. Chay only experienced any of these to the extent he did because of his relationship to Porsche. Nampheung knew that the mafia really had no inherent interest in Chay, and that Chay could be permanently Out of the mafia (except, you know, for him stalking crushing on Kim who is also wrong in thinking you can get out of the mafia).

So if the interest from Korn/Gun in Porsche is not from being Nampheung's son, then why? Why does Korn want Porsche working there and being happy? Why does Gun want Porsche to switch sides and come to Gun for "protection"? Who do they think Porsche is?

In semi-related meta, this also makes me think that Porsche's dream is not so much A Bar on the Beach specifically, but that it represents the freedom to live for himself. He specifies a private beach, where he opens when he wants, closes when he wants, and serves what he wants. Where his actions aren't constrained by other people at all. He took Nampheung's directive to heart and has been living his entire life for Chay. He only had a few more years to go for Chay to get his degree, for Porsche's life to be his own. But then he was kidnapped by the mob to live the rest of his life for them.

[captainkurosolaire]

Mother of Light

Raging snow petered from a tundra's onslaught, becoming soft bright a sight that'd encapsulated memories and nurtured them. Those flake droplet's fell upon a traversing shadow whose garb stained with old crimson. His cut's and wounds of shrapnel only felt relief when those of snow brought cooling reprieve. Determination carried him. Coming near destination, his mind blurred to multiple distortions, his leg's staggered, attempting to shake a concussion but wasn't able to ignore he collapsed aside a tree. Shortly by moment's a woman appeared crossing a bridge. She gasped, scolding. "Honestly!" With brisk entering his proximity, "You know most women when they've a date their partner tries to appear presentable! You've done the opposite, bloody rebel!" She teased, with life. The injured assailant coldly quipped, "I only came to inform you, I can't see you." She began salving wounds with old medicinal herbs crushed into ointment and surveying his wounds. Crossing over region's by feet just to say this? His dedication to attend, for certain was a silent flatter. "Is that because the blindfold, or because you think it's far too dangerous? Why must... why must, you go to these extents?" Compassion felt bared under his behalf her voice shook briefly. Within her shamanism she felt duty-bound to see the peace of damaged souls, aiding them in finding closures, to pass on and prevent them from being tortured and malevolent. He overpowered a wince as she created a tourniquet around his worst injury, scrapping, tear her own skirt's quilt. "I must, for the outcome larger. Think what you'd like, but I fight for an Age of Peace." Undoubtedly his cause laid noble, yet he fought alone in solitude. Were these his words? She disputed with simple words, that struck. "What of your peace?" Those word's held danger, reason... power. First-threat conceived ever recorded in any reality. Was not of murderous design. Threat was born in love's visage. Many interpret in their ways. Yet, Love encountered can change an entire existence, it's frightening... Invisible even striking the mightiest down. Misused, brought wars. Concern, feelings, he was trained against... He shot it down from his exercises... "I'm just a weapon." Wasn't idea to allow those root's to touch him, allowing an identity beyond his purpose. A tool as used by those who furthered him to exist. They claimed their hand's from the dark and gave him "life". Least, what it'd become believed... He attempted to stand but his body-declined. She shook a head baffled at the display of stubbornness. Her soft-tending hands aided him by wrists, "Come to my cabin, I'll finish ridding these injuries, then you can take off. You aren't off the case, Mister. See... Would someone classified as a weapon, decisively show to meet lowly ole' me? Were you wielded to do as such...? Or did you, act." Countering him. Was she a hidden sorceress? She slew him with mistakes. Why with her presence, did he falter? Invisible assaults, indescribable reigned. He didn't even recognize his body had taken a seat within her temporarily home. His nose took a whiff of a poured tea. "Drink this, it'll mend. You'll be out once again, slicing and dicing." Under those condition's he drank with no hesitation. Sure enough that scrumptious tea worked throughout his system, with renewal, all his symptom's subsided. Magical, delightful, exquisite. Emotion's were attempting to claim victory. He rejected and sat up, gathering his weapon fastening it across his waist. "You've my thanks... Farewell, what I said still, applies." Pushing against it all. He needed to retreat, now! As callous digit's touched the door, she intercepted at his stature. "I'm hiring you. Assassin!" Laughing warmly. Curious came to his brow, movement's paused. Yet he never declined... "Who do you want dead, or brought?" He spoke as a Black Miracle.

She let out a enthusiastic, pretend-serious voice. "Yes... Well..." Clearly she was clutching something behind, it smelled of beauty. "Protect this Flower!" He was handed a soft-fragile, flower.... Was she, serious? Known as the Sakurasou, It'd follow this duo throughout destiny. "Seven Sun's... It cannot know harm and you've to keep on you! Do this and you'll never see me again." An easy task, he thought. "Very well... I'll see you when the mission is done. Then our known connection, is void." Accepting these terms.

She moved satisfied, watching him depart and continue that unyielding march... into death. Unbeknownst a fellow predatory stare of another shadow watched this exchange, through the lens of a bird as ghost recon...

[Prev:Chapter]: Father of Shadow ~ ♪"Heart of Gold"♪

[milacandless77]

𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 | 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍

ηαηαмι кєηтσ/ яєαɗєя ѕυgυяυ gєтσυ/яєαɗєя gσנσ ѕαтσяυ/ яєαɗєя вυт נυѕт α ƖιттƖє вιт!

IMPECCABLE— NANAMI KENTO

cнαρтєя 1: Ƭнє ιɗισт ωιтн тнє cιgαяєттє

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

6:40 αм, αт уσυя нσυѕє.

It was early morning. The sound of the alarm was starting to drill into your ears, caught between sleep and wakefulness. The only thing you wanted to do to stop that sound was to throw your phone and crush it with your hands. You hadn't slept well all night, hardly even getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep. You felt like your body was dead, your muscles and joints hollow. Your eyes could barely open, and your hands were stained with ink from all the damn assignments you had to finish overnight.

You felt so exhausted that you thought you might finally die and no longer have to think about your degree or any other obligations that had been weighing on your mind during these horrible days.

When you finally decided to get out of bed, you felt your body wobble from the lack of rest. You felt like you were made of jelly, sometimes wanting to throw in the towel. University was burning you out, both physically and mentally. You walked to the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror, and it was no surprise to see your reflection: deep, almost black, purple circles under your eyes and bitten lips from all the stress. You had no idea how to hide the mess you saw in the mirror; not even a professional concealer could cover up all the exhaustion evident in your eyes.

You walked back to your room to grab some makeup, then returned to the bathroom to try and cover your dark circles, apply a moisturizing red lipstick, and some blush.

"I want to believe that at least now I don't look so deplorable," you said to yourself in the mirror, then changed from your pajamas into normal clothes, ready to go out and study.

You felt time ticking faster without mercy, even though you knew it was just your imagination and time was passing as usual. You quickly walked to your desk, rolled up the design plans you had been working on all night, grabbed your backpack, and almost flew down the stairs.

"Are you finally ready? You might be late for university," you heard your mother say as she grabbed the car keys and left the house to start the car.

You said nothing, just locked the door behind you and got into the car, hoping for a bit of peace on the way to university.

"Did you stay up late again?" she asked without taking her eyes off the road, and you looked at her incredulously.

"Don't you think that question is getting very repetitive? The answer is always the same: yes," you said, lowering the mirror above the passenger seat to check your appearance, hoping you didn't look too dead after trying to fix yourself up.

You knew you had been rude to your mother, but you couldn't stand that question, which she had been asking for the past two years. She knew this was going to be your routine throughout your degree. You couldn't tolerate obvious questions this early in the morning, especially when you hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"You know, you should start trying to sleep earlier. All this work is going to wear you out someday. Try to organize yourself better at least; you look terrible," she said, glancing at you for a second before focusing back on the road.

"I really try, I would give anything to sleep properly," you clenched your fists to tolerate the frustration in your body, as this conversation had come up millions of times. "Even if I wanted to, you know I can't. Not even organizing myself would allow me to finish at a decent hour. Besides, I need to keep my scholarship. This degree could open the doors to a better life once and for all," you said, putting on your headphones, pretending to listen to music, though you weren't planning to play anything. You just wanted to end this conversation, which had become part of your "morning routine."

You relaxed in the seat, enjoying the silence of the trip. You leaned your head against the window, noticing how bright the sky looked today, thinking it would probably be another hot, suffocating day.

After a twenty-five minute drive, you arrived at your destination. Your mother parked in a spot at the university parking lot so you could easily get out and walk to your faculty. You were grateful for that, as your legs felt as weak as spaghetti.

"Thanks for the ride, Mom. I'll try to start resting more. See you tonight, okay?" you said quickly, looking at the watch on your wrist; you were running later than usual.

You walked as fast as you could toward the entrance of the "Design Faculty," where you studied. This set of buildings had felt like a prison since day one, but it was also the place that could free you from your current life. You dreamed of becoming a successful architect with your own construction firm or something similar.

To be honest with yourself, you knew studying architecture wasn't your first choice. You'd rather be in one of the other design fields like interior, graphic, or fashion design. However, you knew architecture would provide more financial stability than a simple branch of it. That was the main reason you chose this degree, and you also knew that was why you often felt a lack of passion for it.

You opened the classroom door with one of your feet since your hands were full with the large rolled-up papers you were carrying. You felt the professor and most of the students turn to look at you as you interrupted the already started class. You also noticed how your classmates' tired faces looked as exhausted as yours; you felt like their gazes could pierce your soul.

"Good morning, professor. May I still join your class?" you nervously smiled at the professor, almost begging her to say yes with your expression.

"I see you've already entered the room anyway," she sighed, looking you up and down. "Come in, but class starts at 7:00 am, not at this hour. Find an available seat."

"Thank you," you said, clutching the rolls of paper to your chest for comfort after the small humiliation you had just suffered.

As you walked fully into the classroom, you scanned the room for a specific person. You had no idea where they were until you saw a hand waving at you from the back of the room.

"Hi, sorry for being late. God, it took me so long to wake up," you greeted the brunette girl, moving the seat next to her so you could sit down.

"I understand. My dark circles look like I'm a human raccoon," she said, pointing at her eyes with her fingers to show you her nearly non-existent dark circles.

"Are you kidding me, Nobara?" you looked at her with a poker face. "I literally see no sign of dark circles under your eyes. Look at mine; they're almost turning black," you pointed to your own eyes.

"Maybe it's your makeup. You're lucky your first class is with me, babe," she said with a sly smile, then grabbed a small brush and concealer from her bag. "Ready to play makeup artist Barbie? Come closer."

"Alright, Nobara, I trust you, though I have a feeling my dark circles are beyond help," you said, leaning your face closer for her to do whatever she wanted with it.

"See?" she handed you a small pocket mirror after finishing. "I told you it was your makeup. You should buy this one instead; it works miracles," she said, pointing to the makeup with a playful look.

"God, you're a genius with makeup, aren't you?" you looked at her in awe at the result. "By the way, thanks for saving me a seat. If it weren't for you, I'd be sitting at the front, and no one wants that. Attending this class is bad enough," you whispered the last part, hoping the professor wouldn't hear, if that was even possible.

"You owe me one. I almost had a crazy fight with the guy sitting in the other corner," she said, glancing at the guy before raising her arm and making a mock punch with her hand.

"Well, that's probably because everyone wants to sit in the back near the windows to have something to distract them from the class," you said, then turned to look out the window next to you, where you saw a small group of students who seemed to be junkies.

"Have you seen the guy with long black hair hanging out with the group outside?" Nobara whispered in your ear in a flirty, teasing tone.

"And have you seen the girl over there?" you pointed at another person a bit further from that group.

"Wow, we really know our types, don't we?" you both exchanged flirtatious looks and laughed together.

"I like potential drug addicts, and you like tough girls, huh?" you both tried to contain your laughter in front of the whole class, but it seemed Nobara failed, as everyone turned to look in your direction.

"I'm so sorry, professor," your friend said, making a worried face, while you prayed to hold back the laugh you felt coming.

"Nobara Kugisaki and company," the professor sighed with fake exhaustion. "One of you arrives late, uses the classroom to do makeup, and then starts laughing at whatever is happening outside. I hope you at least have a decent project to review," she gestured with her hand for you both to come to the front and present your project idea to everyone.

As you walked to the front, you looked at each other, silently asking for help. Neither of you had any idea what you were going to do.

.

After each of us finished our mediocre, unplanned presentation, we stepped down from the "public eye" to start packing up our things since our presentations had consumed the entire two and a half hours of the class.

“Ladies, I hope you make the corrections I suggested for the next class. They are very necessary when designing a building like this. Thank you for presenting your work before everyone; this teaches your classmates, as well as yourselves, several details about what not to do when constructing,” the professor said, her face looking so relaxed as she delivered such passive-aggressive words.

You immediately turned to look at Nobara, whose face was red with fury. You knew she was capable of answering the teacher back rudely, so you covered her mouth to respond yourself.

“Of course, Professor. On Wednesday, we’ll show you our projects without any mistakes,” you said with a smile more fake than anything in the world, though you also wanted to punch the damn woman.

You dragged Nobara with all your strength so she would continue packing her belongings without protest, and so you could pack yours calmly as well. Then, you both almost flew out of the “hall of humiliation,” as you would start calling it after what happened today.

Once outside, you decided to head to the faculty garden where you had seen the people who had been pointing and whispering through the window. That’s when you heard Nobara speak again; the girl seemed like she was about to breathe fire.

“I can’t believe what that bitch just said to us. She literally said we were the example of what NOT to do,” Nobara was pacing around you with clenched fists, speaking rapidly and almost like a tongue twister.

“Just remind me not to take any classes with you next semester, Noba; you’re a bad influence,” you said with a fake sad face, jokingly, just to see her reaction.

“Bad influence? You were the one who was late,” she scolded you, pointing her index finger. “I’m never saving you a seat again, and by the way, we have all our classes together,” she said with a smug smile.

“Just kidding, Nobara. You know I love being in all our classes together... AH!” you screamed as you felt something burning your arm along with the cardigan you were wearing.

You quickly turned around after feeling that horrible sensation on your skin to see a long-haired, dark-haired boy with a cigarette in hand walking in the opposite direction. That’s what had burned you: his cigarette.

“Is today the day for everyone to be idiots? If you wanted to put out your cigarette, there’s the ground for that,” Nobara shouted from a distance as the guy disappeared without any intention of apologizing for what he did.

“It’s okay, Nobara, don’t help me. The only problem is he ruined my cardigan,” you said with a disappointed face as you looked at the black mark on its sleeve, then noticed a red spot on your skin.

“Well, I guess you can cross another crush off your list,” she sighed in disappointment. “Why do you always like jerks?”

“I have no idea,” you sighed too, because her comment was sadly true.

You heard Nobara start talking about something, but you couldn’t clearly hear her because you kept feeling your phone vibrating incessantly in your back pocket. It wasn’t until you turned it on that your legs truly weakened and your expression changed immediately.

“Wait, Nobara,” you said, putting yourself in a mental pause. You probably had a traumatized look because Nobara peeked at your phone to see what was on the screen.

(On iMessage)

(Hey... do you think we can talk?)

(I need to talk to you in person about something)

(I think it’s best to break up)

(Anyway, I think it’s better to do it in person)

(Are you busy?)

(Can you meet me at the mall across from your university?)

(3 missed calls)

You chose to turn off your phone again before quickly looking at Nobara, who now wore the same surprised expression as you, even though it wasn’t her relationship, it was yours.

For some context: he was your boyfriend or maybe ex-boyfriend? You didn’t even know. You had been in a relationship before which he ended because he cheated on you with his ex. However, months later, he came back, regretful, wanting to get back together. You didn’t even know exactly why you agreed, but the main reason was: you didn’t know how to be alone.

Your friends hated him. They couldn’t stand his existence from day one. They couldn’t understand how you were so in love with him. Both Nobara and Itadori despised the guy for playing with you, and they joked about hating you too for taking him back.

Now you also hated him. All that love you had for him instantly turned into pure hatred and resentment. The reason for breaking up was obvious: he was probably cheating on you again, and you felt so stupid for giving him another chance. You just wanted to destroy him at this moment.

“He’s such an idiot. God, you shouldn’t have gotten back with someone like that. How are you feeling? Do you want me to take you back home? I can do that if you need to rest,” Nobara started worrying about your mental state after reading those messages. “He never deserved you anyway. Are you planning to meet him? I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I’ll support whatever you decide.”

“I think it’s best to go see what he has to say, Nobara, to end this stupid relationship in peace,” you said, with a voice and expression so calm, but your body betrayed you, trembling uncontrollably.

Nobara held your hand to try to calm you while you used the other to turn on your phone and reply with just an "Okay, but let’s do it now." You decided to skip your remaining classes; it was ten in the morning, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to focus without knowing the exact reason he was breaking up with you again.

“Nobara, I have to go now. Can you cover for me in the remaining classes, please?” you asked while starting to walk away.

“Don’t you want me to come with you? Are you sure?” she asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

“No, it’s fine. I have to do this alone,” you said, smiling at her affectionately before turning around and walking away.

You tried to keep a neutral face, but you felt more and more like the tears were going to betray you and start running down your face. You quickly wiped them away so no one would notice that you were crying like crazy. Maybe you were failing at hiding it, but at least you were trying, and that’s what counts, right?

.

Hi there, how are you all? I'm really excited about all the plot I have in store for myself, even if I only have 2 fans and one of them is the ghost in my room (the other is my pet). Aside from that, I love writing; I've always wanted to do it even though I was never very good at it.

Another thing is that I usually write in the middle of the night, that's right, I think I'm a vampire, so if you find any spelling errors, it's most likely because I write half-asleep, but I love doing it!

In other news, you can also find me on

Wattpad as: milacandles and on Inkitt with the same username.

AO3: milacandless77

Thanks!

The next chapter:

[absolutebl]

Heya ABL !! Hope you're having a nice day .

So I recently started watching Laws Of Attraction and ngl Mr. Charn's smile is one of the most terrifying smiles I have ever seen in all of the media I've consumed throughout my life . He's the kind of person I won't fuck with. Ever . And that brings me to the question I have for you . I'm curious to know, who are some of the characters in BL you'd absolutely NOT fuck with irl?

Characters in BL I would NOT fuck with IRL

OMG I love the question, but I have a ton of answers, a busy work day, and tumblr keeps eating my posts so I'm gonna be super rough with this one.

Criteria

Generally the red flags I avoid are:

broken beyond repair,

unpredictably unhinged (elbows everywhere),

just too angry,

stalker

looking for salvation (AKA deal with your own damn problems)

AKA baby, you aren't smart enough to be worth the drama.

Ready? Here we go.

The "You Legit Unhinged" Bracket

Charn in Laws of Attraction

Currently my favorite character by a land slide he's evil, manipulative, bonkers, and damaged. RUN AWAY.

Devil Judge goes in here too. Not BL but... The "censored off my lists" Chinese historical BLs have tons of these characters.

The "baby is WAY too extra" bracket

Aoki in Kieta Hatsukoi

No thank you. I like my life peaceful. Sweetie, you cute but CALM TF DOWN.

I'd put quite a few other disaster ukes outta Japan in here, the kids of Mr Unlucky, Senpai, etc...

The "your damage is on the outside" bracket.

The men of My Beautiful Man

Yeah, neither of them. BOYS. I mean to say... BOYS. You are way way WAY too much work.

I'm coming around to putting both Weatherman boys into this bracket too, and what's his bucket from the Pornographer series. Oh and Takumi! Ugh.

The "a boyfriend is not a therapist" bracket

I couldn't pick a winner for this bracket so here's my list:

My Tooth Your Love's Bai Lang

Uea in Bed Friend

What's his name from The Eighth Sense (probably quite a few other Korean BLs, actually)

Fiat in Don't Say No et al

Team in Between Us

Sky in LITA

Anger management issues

Semes in: Love Syndrome III and Dinosaur Love

and Type in TharnType

Stalkers need not apply

Secret Crush on You

Be Mine Super Star

Love Mate

Currently airing stalker pulp thingy.

There are more. A lot more.

You're not romantic, you're just a jerk

and probably should be in prison

Tharn from TharnType (could have gone into the first bracket too)

Bohn in My Engineer

Pai in LITA (bite me)

Pure in My Gear Your Gown

Some of these may surprise you because they're some of my favorite characters. But just because I like them on the screen doesn't mean I want them in my life.

I left the Japanese dark BL off this list for the usual reasons.

Honorable mention:

[vikugnavikugna]

A really rough sketch for the Worm/One Piece au I've been Ponderin' for a while now. Some random ideas for the main crew under the cut:

Let's start by making things clear: this is not for any kind of fanfic or anything of the sort. I have been known to write those when I was 14 and very into RWBY, but I still struggle to write anything too complex in english and I have since given up on the hobby anyway. I just like rotating Worm characters in my head and combining them with any other brainrot I am going through at any point of my life, y'know.

As for how the au actually works, I simply deleted all the characters from the One Piece universe from existance and then tried to apply every Worm character to the preexisting societal structures and dynamics of the Three Great Powers, whilst staying as close to the currently established canon and with making up as few new Devil Fruits as possible (currently on just 1, but I haven't gone through many side characters).

Now, as evidenced by the use of Haki and presence of Imp, this fanart portrays the crew at quite a later stage of their journey - I imagine the Underside Pirates (it is a butt joke, to be clear) started off somewhere in South Blue openly working for the mysterious Captain Coil, a man trying to make a name for himself before moving to the Grand Line. What the Underside Pirates didn't actually know is that they were slowly being set up for betrayal from the very start - Captain Coil is Thomas Calvert, a retired Marine, who works under a pseudonym solely so that he can build up the persona of Captain Coil as a threat to the World Government, fake arresting himself and gain the title of a Shichibukai (and with it, the entrance to the Holy Land Mary Geoise).

For the actual crew, let's go through them one by one:

Taylor D Hebert - newest recruit of the crew, starts off as quartermaster, before being promoted to the first mate and eventually captain further down the line. The user of Jou-Jou no Mi (shamefully, the only original Fruit I made up for this au so far - it possesses about the same capabilities as Taylor's powers do in canon). Not a lot to say here - take her Worm backstory, substitute being into heroes for being inspired to join the Marines and bosh, done. After the discovery of Haki I imagine she would start gathering bugs into shapes of objects and covering the entire swarm in armament Haki for some improvised weapons (she's doing that very thing and forming a katana in the art, coincidentally). Her attack name are references to english literature (I am polish so I cannot think of an example). Possibly gay for Rachel but, since Oda writes both romance and queer people weird, it's this very anime kind of crush where she acts normal 90% of the time, but then turns into a blushing mumbling idiot when Rachel is too close. Kind of like Kuroko from Railgun but with 100% less sexual assault, y'know.

Rachel Lindt - a dogfish fishman raised outside of Fishman Island, Rachel had a pretty tough life travelling the seas alone, always narrowly avoiding whichever slave hunting crew that confused her for a mermaid at any given moment. She has no fruit powers and minimal Fishman Karate skills due to never having a proper teacher. In combat she always relied mostly on various marine life companions she gathered throughout the years of travelling the sea - in many ways, her only family. Works as the crew's helmsman. Her attack names are hilariously simple and straightforward, often said after she delivers them, rather than during action (eg. she'll just calmly punch her opponent into the ground as they are mid screaming their attack name, dust herself off and calmly say 'Right Punch' before walking off). Mostly inspired by the fact, that it always annoyed me horribly how few female fishmen there were in the series. Completely unaware Taylor has a crush on her.

Alec Vasil - son of a Yonko and an ex-Celestial Dragon, Alec was one of the many children Nikos Vasil has produced with his various mistresses. There isn't much information about the Heartbreaker in Worm proper, but I imagine him as a Doflamingo kind of figure in this au - his connections and information about the Holy Land stops the Marines from ever attacking him directly and the powers of Ito Ito no Mi, whilst limited, let him marionette people around however he wishes to fulfill his various schemes. Alec himself is no Fruit user but, due to his mother being a Mink, can use Electro. Thanks to years of experimentation with the fighting style, he developed a technique which allows him a limited control over the electricity in his enemies' muscles, purposefully mimiquing the powers of his father - both to get his father's attention and to mock his abilities ('I can do everything you can and more without being a Celestial Dragon or a Fruit user' type deal). No one really knows what his job on the ship is supposed to be and, when asked, he just usually makes up whatever lie let's him laze off some more at any given moment (usually, 'Oh, yeah, I'm on permament Lookout duty, actually'). At first I thought his attack names should be in french, but nah, this dude is just screaming the most atrocious pun attack names known to mankind probably. Responsible for making up the crew's name.

Lisa Wilbourn - the crew's de facto unofficial captain in the early days, she also doubles as a navigator. A noble of a small kingdom in South Blue, her story plays out very similarly to the canon Lisa. At some point of it all she accidently gets her hands on Giro Giro no Mi and, when her family wants to exploit her mind reading abilities for business when she's still in mourning over her brother, she escapes her home island and gets scouted by Coil. I think that a lot of the time snipers are done real dirty in One Piece, so Lisa mainly uses long range weaponry (and later Observation Haki) during combat - she simply never puts any time into mastering Armament. Honestly not much to say here, I think she was one of the most obvious Devil Fruit fits in the entire crew. Out of every person in this drawing, I am the most disatissfied with her design and thus will probably do something about it shortly.

Brian Laborn - fills the role of a first mate, cook, quartermaster, doctor, canon master, shipwright and sometimes also a ship, if need be. My friend and I discussed whether to give him a Fruit power, as the only one that fits him - that being Yami Yami no Mi, which not only visually mimics Brian's power, but also makes the user literally suffer more in combat - is way too powerful for a small ass crew. So eventually I settled for just amking him the crew's boringman Haki user and martial artist. I mean, someone does need to fish out all these dumbasses from the ocean and Rachel isn't always around, I guess. A not zero chance he steals Yami Yami no Mi from Jack's crew later on or something of the like. He may use fullbody Armament at some point, purely because I think it gets REAL bad rep in One Piece and he would make it work, I bet. His attack names are all references to real life boxing history.

Aisha Laborn - there was much debate in my head whether Aisha should be the user of Memo Memo no Mi or Suke Suke no Mi - the latter eventually won out, because I believe Aisha going unnoticed by both foes and allies is more important than actually referencing the memory aspect of her powers. She got her hands on the Devil Fruit due to one of his mother's boyfriends, who was a pirate and robbed it off of someone on sea. Aisha ate the Fruit, angering her mother's boyfriend and, after being severly beaten up, managed to activate the Fruit's abilities to become invisible and call for Brian. The following sequence plays out similarly as in canon. Aisha would be on the ship from the very beginning, but Brian usually leaves her in some town when the Underside Pirates go on any kind of mission and it's not until later that she actually joins them as crew (or rather she sneaks onto their ship claiming to be their second permanent Lookout so many times that it just became easier letting her stay).

Ship - considering the crew's size, most likely a caravel. I'm firting with it being named Atlas, but are not sold on it. Jokingly referred to is as Shrugging Atlas in my head once. I think Atlas should be their second ship, something they gain after Taylor becomes a more prominent member of the crew, and they should start off with something else. No clue what tho.

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Vertex notes (synastry chart) + a lil bit of transits⚡️❤️‍🔥

•Vertex is the most sensitive point in our birth chart so if we don’t know our very exact birth time, there can be differences but right now, I’m just too shocked about how crazily effective vertex can be in synastry because it’s just shocking. These are just my personal experiences so please take them with a pinch of salt.😭🙏🏻

•First event: I have this girl bestie friend who I have known for like 11 or 12 years. At first, we were best friends for about 3 years and then we were drifted apart when we moved into new school. The destiny was so strange. At first, I wasn’t planning to go to the same school as her. I was applying for this particular school near our house but there were problems in getting in so I decided to move to another school and that’s where she was attending and I swear to god I had no idea about that. When I got there, we were not best friends anymore but we still saw each other in our daily life. And then our connection was disconnected again when I had to move to another school because of my bullies. I thought I was never gonna see her again. Then, I got into the medical school and guess what? She’s there. Now we’re not in the same class but still she remains as one of my best friends and we talk everyday both online and in real life. Our birthday is only 10 days apart. In our synastry chart, her vertex conjuncts my IC and my vertex conjuncts her descendant.

•Second event: My first love who’s now my ex has his vertex in virgo conjunct my moon with orbs 8 degrees so I don’t know if this still makes an impact but we broke up in very bad terms and I never ever spoke to him since we broke up. But after a year of separation, he added me on facebook and I accepted it and we talked for like two days but I felt vulnerable so I cut him off, I ghosted and just blocked him. But then after a year, I had this sudden urge to apologize to him because what I did was so bitchy and disrespectful even though it was after a year. And then we became friends again since then. Now, it’s been about 4 months I’m friends with him. Throughout the relationship, he only gave me warm feelings and I felt protected by him and our relationship was not sexual but more connected emotionally and it was healthy. It just ended in bad terms because of our parents. Right now, we don’t talk very often but he still views my stories, I view his stories. It’s not like he’s completely out of my life. But we’re just friends.

•Third event: My recent ex who’s my second love (LMAO why do I find this funny😭) has his vertex conjunct my moon with orbs 2 degrees and my vertex conjuncts his mars with orbs 6 degrees. We met for the first time while attending English Learning course and it only lasted like 3 months. Anyways, he had a crush on me at that time and I rejected him. We were only friends for 3 months and we never saw each other again TILL we met again at the medical school. YEP. Out of all people in this damn world, we met again after 3 years. It was so unexpected because I didn’t recognize him at first but he was so excited to see me at that very first meeting. Also this time, he confessed that he still liked me and we began dating however it only lasted for a month. We had so many ups and downs during our relationship that it feels like we were together for like a year. The connection was intense and very manipulative dark and scary (we have mars and Pluto in 8th house in composite chart btw😩💀) but the sexual connection was fiery and flaming hot. We couldn’t get our hands off from each other whenever we met. However, there were uncountable lies, toxicity from both sides. Now, we are attending the same school but we’re not in the same class and he is not my friend anymore, at least for me. We ended in bad terms which is 10 times worse than my first ex. I felt safe with him and he felt safe with me too but it just didn’t work out. I don’t know how he sees me now but for me, the person I loved, dated, respected and nurtured is dead. The guy in front me right now is definitely not the guy I fell in love. It’s been a month since we’ve broken up and I’m still suffering when he’s already in a new relationship with a new girl (he dated her after like a month of our break up LOL).

•Fourth event: There’s this guy friend of mine and his vertex conjuncts my moon with orbs 4 degrees. We’ve only known for about a month but we have a very familiar connection. He told me that he could trust me and he could open up to me without feeling judged (My second ex said this too). Now, he’s living in a different country but we still talk and he’s one of my supporters. I also feel safe with him. He was the only one who called me up at 1 AM just to motivate me while I was going through my break up. He is not my best friend but a very very very good friend.🥺

•Fifth event: I have only one guy best friend and we’ve known each other for like 4 years now. His sun conjuncts my vertex with orbs 6 degrees. He had had a crush on me but I rejected and now we’re best friends. He’s always there for me even during my mental breakdowns and he’s like a father figure for me. He gives me useful advice, comforts me in a way no one can and he’s like the ray of sunshine for me. Still I have no romantic feelings towards him. However, there is literally nothing about me that he doesn’t know. I tell every single thing and every single feeling to him and I think he knows me more than my mom does.😺

So I guess you can see the patterns now. In conclusion, in my opinion, people who have vertex contacts with us somehow impact our life drastically for better or for worse. And they may be out of your life one second and then back into your life another. But that doesn’t guarantee that the relationship is going to be long lasting. But it’s sure that these connections are fated and karmic as I said and the effects can be varied depending on planets in aspects.

For example, sun-vertex aspects can mean feeling protected and guarded. Moon-vertex aspects can mean feeling nurtured and protected maternally. Mars-vertex aspects can mean feeling intense sexual attraction towards each other but it can also mean becoming kinda frenemies (just saying) and it can be draining asf. Venus-vertex aspects can mean fantasizing the other person romantically, making fake scenarios in bed etc. Vertex on angles from both sides can mean that person is in and out of your life and you guys may also have some kind of soulmate connection.

❗️There’s a very weird thing btw. I met those three people (two exes and my guy best friend) in the same year, only about two months apart from one another).

So, I checked the transits and at the time when I first met my first ex, my transit moon opposes my natal vertex (conjuncts my natal anti-vertex). The time when I first met my second ex, my transit mars opposes my natal vertex (conjuncts my natal anti-vertex). The time when I first met my guy best friend, my transit sun opposes my natal vertex (conjuncts my natal anti-vertex).

In my first ex’s chart, his transit Neptune opposes his natal vertex (conjuncts his natal anti-vertex) when he first met me. In my second ex’s chart, his transit mercury and Chiron opposes his natal vertex (conjuncts his natal anti-vertex) when he first met me. It’s wild. Transits are also not a joke I guess.😳🙄

And I also noticed that I’m a moon dominant and I have moon in virgo and I mainly attract and am attracted to people who have vertex in virgo regardless of the degrees. I’m kind of emotionally invested in them no matter what kind of connection it is. Remember this is only my personal experience so it can be different for you all. Please share your experiences too!!❤️

[steviewashere]

I Like This Girl in a Band

Rating: Teen and Up CW: None Really Apply Relationship: Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler Tags: Post Canon, Post Season Four, Getting Together, Robin Buckley has a Crush on Nancy Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler has a Crush on Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler is a Flute Player, Mourning, Talking about Barbara Holland, Coming Out, Robin Buckley is a Sweetheart, Nancy Wheeler is a Sweetheart, Barbara Holland is Nancy Wheeler's Bisexual Awakening, Barbara Holland is Robin Buckley's Lesbian Awakening, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington's Friendship (Background), Nancy Wheeler is a Little Shit, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Can also be read on Ao3!

💕—————💕

Robin never expected to be friends with Nancy Wheeler. Somebody who she viewed as being prissy, uppity, overall out of her league. She thought that Nancy didn’t have much depth to her outside of: pretty girl with a smart mouth and all the boyfriends she could ask for. But, then again, she thinks that most people thought of Nancy that way.

After trauma, though, you reconsider the people in your circle. You identify who your allies are. And you miff the ones that don’t serve you any purpose. Like, Robin became best friends with Steve—he had depth, almost surprisingly. He wasn’t a shallow douchebag. Maybe sloppy when he eats, a little bit of a snarky bitch, and gossiper to a fault. But that didn’t make him a bad person, not by any means.

So, sure, Robin reconsidered the people around her.

And Nancy Wheeler has become one of those people.

She’s intelligent and beautiful, but Robin already knew that. Her fortitude is stable and at the forefront of her being at all times. If Robin’s being honest, considering her biases, she liked to hate Nancy because it was easy—not because it was necessary or anything. Hated Nancy for taking her best friend, Barbara Holland. Hated Nancy for always being right and overshadowing her line of thinking, even her thought process was wrong. Hated Nancy for just being perfect.

Perfect Nancy Wheeler and her pretty little outfits and her small smile and her shining eyes and—Okay, maybe Robin doesn’t hate Nancy Wheeler for being perfect. She should admit that now before she gets ahead of herself. Robin doesn’t hate her at all.

She’s honest enough now to admit that she’s been falling in love with Nancy. A little at a time. With everything she does.

Sure, it was hot when Nancy cocked that shotgun and blew Vecna’s head off his body. And it was supremely attractive to see her sketch out plans and actually bring them to life. It’s wonderful to even hear Nancy talk. She’s just got this brain about her that Robin can’t possibly wrap her head around.

It’s easy to hang out with Nancy. To be sitting in her bedroom, looking at her pink and white and lacey little things. To feel her eyes on her back. To turn around and find her smiling.

“So I take it that you like my room?” Nancy asks.

“I love it in here! Are you kidding me?” Robin twirls around in the space, picking up the little music box on her shelf. “There’s a ballerina in here! Oh, Nance, please tell me you did ballet as a kid! That would be adorable.” By the way Nancy tries to act coy, Robin suspects she figured part of Nancy out. The music box is placed back down and Robin goes back to rummaging throughout her space.

That’s when, while she’s attempting to grab something from by Nancy’s closet, a little black case clatters to the floor. It catches Robin’s attention immediately, swooping it up between her hands. A black case, hard shell, little handle. She gasps knowingly.

“Nancy Wheeler, a flautist?” Robin teases. “A band kid? Who knew.”

Nancy’s shy when Robin glances at her again. She tucks some of her hair, loosely permed, behind her ear. Bites her bottom lip. “I don’t play anymore, but it was fun the first couple years of high school. In middle school, too.” Her face drops, though at the admittance. She sighs. Whispering, “Used to do it with Barb. Stopped after—Well, you know.” Her eyes are mournful, understandably. Going far and glistening. Yearning, longing for a past that would never sprout a future.

Robin hums. “I remember,” she murmurs, voice going raspy with it. “Used to be a clarinet player, right? Her section was next to yours, I’m assuming. That’s where the wind players were. I used to sit behind her in the back of the band, my trumpet too heavy for my hands.” She chuckles, a remorseful sigh escaping her. “She was good at it, wasn’t she?” She crosses the room and settles on Nancy’s bed, sitting warm next to her. The case still in her hands.

“Yeah,” Nancy sighs. A little wet. “She was pretty spectacular.”

She hates the spike of jealousy that stabs sharp through her stomach at Nancy’s praise. Barb should’ve been her best friend, she should be mourning her like flowers miss the rain in winter. But, Barb leaving their friendship wasn’t Robin’s choice to make. And Nancy, well, she didn’t know—Did she?

“She was,” Robin agrees. Her voice sounds so brittle to her own ears. “You—God, you must’ve cared a lot about her, huh?”

Stupid question, she chides. Because there’s been polaroids tucked away in drawers. Old costume pieces that Robin remembers Barb wearing during school plays. Little trinkets that Nancy had whispered, “From Barbara”, every single time Robin picked one up.

At the core of it all, they’re just two girls missing the bridge that connected them.

Nancy doesn’t answer. And Robin doesn’t prod for one. It’s always hard to admit something like that aloud, especially for somebody you miss. Even if it’s been years since they left.

“Can I trust you with something?” She abruptly asks. Nancy just hums. Robin swallows roughly. “When I was a kid and I used to hang out with Barb all the time, I used to feel super funny. Like—and I know what it is now—but a weird flip-flop fluttering in my stomach.” Her fingers trace the textured case of the flute. The rough ridges and bumps under her fingertips. “I had dreams every night about doing her hair. About painting her nails.” She clears her throat, a bubble of emotion caught. Admits, “Kissing her knuckles, her cheeks. But not—Never in the way a friend would.”

Beside her, Nancy sharply inhales. Robin tenses momentarily.

With as much courage as she can, Robin continues. “It was scary, sometimes, to be around her. Afraid of what sort of impulse I’d act upon. And I knew, too, that it wasn’t a good thing to try. So I never did,” she whispers. “I never let myself have that with her. But I cared about Barb. I cared about her so much, I think about her and it’s painful.”

“I know,” Nancy murmurs. “Makes my chest ache thinking about…God, I’m just glad you haven’t seen the way she—I’m sorry you didn’t get to mourn her like I did.”

“Nance—“

“No, Robin. I am sorry. I’m so—I understand what you mean.” Nancy’s left hand reaches out, scooping up Robin’s right. Her nimble fingers, petite on Robin’s palm, squeeze with the might of an entire army. “Continue, it’s okay.”

Robin sighs. “I didn’t realize what it meant until she was already gone. But I’m a lesbian, Nancy. I—Barb was the first girl I ever considered anything with. She was my partner in crime, my best friend, the love of my life. Even if I never understood the severity of that.” She squeezes back at Nancy’s hand. The flute gets set down on the floor. Admitting, heavier and quieter, “To be honest, Nancy, I was so jealous of you. I was so angry at you for so long. For being a normal friend to her. For letting her fit in. For taking her from me. But I—“ And Robin weeps softly. Nancy’s comfort grows, steadfast and more intense. “—Nancy, I can’t be mad at you. I don’t think I can. That’s not fair. You—“

“Birdie,” Nancy murmurs. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” She raises her free hand to wipe gently at Robin’s cheek, the other hand joining in, too. Her palms are cold on Robin’s cheeks, squishing slightly, yet holding her so soothingly. “It’s okay that you’re mad at me. I was mad at myself for a very long time.” She sighs. “Can I tell you something, too?” She questions softly.

Robin nods. “Yeah, Nance, you can tell me anything.”

“I like girls, too,” she whispers. Her own voice is hoarse and broken. “You know what’s funny about it though?” And she chuckles wryly. “Barb was what opened my eyes. Which only made the ache worse, but at least she helped me know? Does that—I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“Doesn’t have to,” Robin whispers back.

Nancy gives her a curt nod. “You remind me of Barb sometimes,” she confesses. “The whole band thing and your theater background. And you’re so spitfire about the world. A prestigious movie taste, honestly.” And she giggles again. Squishing Robin’s cheeks further between her palms. “It’s really fucked up, but I look at you and kind of—I fall in love easier. That’s probably weird. To hear yourself compared to a dead person.” She grimaces. “But I don’t know how else to explain it. You make me feel the way I did about Barbara. And if anything happens to you, I don’t think I’ll survive it.”

“Is it weird if I say the same thing?” Robin asks, laughing herself. “That you fill the hole in my soul that’s Barb shaped. I can’t be mad at you because I find myself entirely enamored. You’re so—“ She groans. “Intelligent and courageous and wonderful. You’re beautiful and quick and amazing and good and every positive word under the sun.

“You help my world glow brighter,” Robin murmurs. “I think if everybody got to talk to you just once, the entire world would be better for it.” She leans in to Nancy’s space. Her hands coming up to cover both of Nancy’s. She closes her eyes at the sensation. Their skin touching. Their breaths mingling. “You should write something about that.”

“What? Write something about me being a good person or whatever?”

“Yes, exactly. And—I could give my eye witness account. And we’ll share how Barb helped the both of us. And—“ Robin shrugs. “I don’t know where I’m going with this.”

Opening her eyes shows Nancy’s smiling face. Soft. Lovely. “Do you think Barb would be mad at us if I kiss you right now? It’s weird timing, I know, but—“

Robin silences her. Pecking her smooth lips. The sound a small smack, a barely there pop. She pulls away slowly. “Weird is okay. Have you met me?” She kisses her again, this time a little deeper. When she pulls back again, she chuckles. “Will you tell me more about her some time?”

“You’d want that?”

“If I’m falling in love with her best friend, then of course. I want to know everything about you two. And I can tell you about when Barb and I were kids, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Nancy whispers, elated. “Okay.”

Robin finds loving Nancy to be the easiest thing in the world. And it may be odd, the way Barb’s life mingles between them. But, at the end of the day, their love spread between them, the stories they have to tell, the feelings that spring loose on certain days—

All of it makes understanding one another a little better.

“Before we share stories though,” Robin starts, leaving space between them. She reaches down for the case on the floor. “Show me the flute skills, sweetheart.”

“I haven’t played in years, Robbie!”

“Who cares?! My possible girlfriend was a band kid! I’m a band kid! This is the hottest thing in the world!” She crows. “Please! Please, please, please, plea—“

“Okay Birdie! Alright! I’ll play it for you. One one condition,” Nancy hedges.

“Anything,” Robin swears.

“You play the trumpet for me. And we start a tribute band. And we prank Steve.”

“Prank Steve?”

Nancy nods. Solemnly. “Yeah,” she sighs. “He borrowed my favorite pen for when I get my stories for the newspaper. I haven’t seen it in weeks. I say that we get up at the crack of dawn, break into his house, and we play our instruments at top volume.”

“Is this flirting?” Robin asks. “Because you know the ways of my heart. Yes, absolutely we’ll fuck with Steve. You have to get your pen back.”

“Great,” Nancy murmurs, leaning back in again. She kisses Robin with fervor. “Now show me what trumpet tonguing means, baby.”

Yeah, Robin thinks loving Nancy is a lot easier than hating her.

💕—————💕 This was my first time writing just the Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler romance dynamic. I've only ever written them as background in my other fics, so this was pretty big for me. Let me know what you think.

[starrysnowdrop]

Hello everyone, this isn’t FFXIV related, but since this is my own blog, I wanted to share something personal with you all.

Tonight, NASA’s Artemis 1 had a successful launch, and it’s the first step to sending humans back to the Moon, and eventually onto Mars. And I’ve been by the screen crying tears of joy and feeling a whole range of emotions.

Here’s something most of you might not know about me. Ever since I can remember, into my earliest memories, I wanted to be an astronaut. Now this is a pretty common childhood dream, so this isn’t the strange part. What was weird about me was that I never outgrew that childhood dream.

I would watch everything I could get my little hands on about outer space. One of my favorite films ever was Apollo 13, and eventually I grew fond of the extremely cheesy Armageddon. I would collect NASA memorabilia, and play in the backyard pretending I was flying a rocket to the Moon.

I had it all planned out too. After graduating high school, I was going to join the US Air Force and train to become a pilot. Then I would apply to NASA to join the Astronaut program in order to become a pilot for the space shuttles, and then pilot the rockets that would one day go to Mars.

And when that day came in senior year of high school, when the Air Force recruiter came to my school, I signed up to join. But when I went to do my first physical, I got rejected. The tests came back with a diagnosis: Asthma. There was no way that they would allow me to fly fighter jets, let alone a space shuttle.

I was crushed. Completely devastated. It took me years to recover from the depression that occurred in part due to that event. I had never imagined doing anything else in my life. I quite literally had no back up plan.

But I did come up with a plan. If I could not be an astronaut, at least I could study Astronomy, or perhaps I could be a part of NASA’s mission control and still be a part of the mission to take others into space.

So I went to college and began a program in Astrophysics. I was doing very well, that was until I got to the higher levels of Mathematics and Physics. Turns out that although I’m not the worst in Math, but I’m extremely slow at it, and I eventually hit a wall where there was no way that I could pass the classes I needed to pass. I was struggling to just get passing grades, let alone try to get Straight A’s so that I could get a job at NASA.

I once again realized that this too was an impossible dream to achieve for me. I had my limitations, and I had hit the wall and could go no further. So, I switched my field of study, and I not just struggled with depression this time, but also anxiety. Panic attacks were a very common occurrence all throughout my college and Grad School years.

Yet, I did graduate college, and even went on to earn a Master’s degree. In those years, I got married to the love of my life and had my beautiful son.

Tonight’s launch caused so many memories to come flooding back to me. I watched as Artemis 1 soared into the sky, on its way to orbit the Moon. I am still sitting here with joyful tears running down my face. I’m so happy for all who were a part of this, including my husband who had a part in testing the rocket’s engines.

So do I have any regrets? None. Because I can stand here knowing that in my heart that I tried my best in achieving that childhood dream. I tried and failed, twice. But I am happy knowing that I even tried at all.

[ryker-writes]

I guess it’s different finding ships for a Yuusona vs an original character since the canon story still applies to Yuu. There are always spots to fill in with more detailed relationships though, like Yuli not having as great of a relationship with Riddle, Kalim, Octavinelle, etc. than canon Yuu does. Not many stories delve into how the students' actions affect Yuu themselves so I added a little bit of that in Yuli's character arc.

In terms of dynamics, there are a few choices I think work well with Yuli. Of course, Ace and Yuli are already good friends and either one of them developing romantic feelings for the other isn’t out of the question. It doesn’t do much for storytelling, though, since the friends-to-lovers story would be more of a slice of life type thing than a character development one.

On the complete opposite side, Yuli and Riddle is all character development. They don’t clash that well when it comes to personality since Yuli is practical and focused on just scraping by in Twisted Wonderland while Riddle is trying to be the best. I do like the story elements of it though, where Riddle realizes he’s said some things that really hurt her and Yuli learns to eventually forgive and loosen up on her grudge.

Deuce is right in the middle, he and Yuli are good friends and have common goals of learning to get by with disadvantages. I think they’d be super cute, but Yuli might break his heart if she falls for Ace first HELP.

Ruggie is another dynamic one since they’re both practical and resourceful and share a common goal that way. I see them more as good friends than anything though.

I honestly can't imagine her with anyone in Octavinelle, she definitely would throttle Azul and vice-versa if they were dating.

Kalim,,, I'm wayyyy too biased towards sunshine-stupid types. Hinata from Haikyuu was one of my biggest childhood crushes and it shows lol. As much as I love him, he and Yuli would be a very precarious relationship, she’d get impatient with his constant energy if he didn’t learn to be more considerate. Jamil and Yuli might start as a rivals type relationship and develop from there. It could work for both dynamics and storytelling, but again, precarious.

I suppose if Yuli is technically Yuu, then Malleus is the obvious option. I can see him being fascinated with the way she solves problems without the aid of magic. I don’t know anything about Diasomnia chapter yet though.

I have so many thoughts on this haha.

I think that Yuusona's have a good opportunity to interact with pretty much any of the characters. Throughout the story Yuu get's to interact with everyone and eventually grows to get along decently with most of them.

But it also depends heavily on their personality and how well each individual gets along with the characters. Each Yuusona also has their own hobbies and activities that may work better with a partner that understands better or goes better with them.

I do think you bring up a good point about the chapters not mentioning how they affect Yuu. I think that would be something that greatly impacts how each Yuusona would feel about the characters

I get what you mean about sunshine boy tho, and each of those dynamics seems like fun and interesting options! Whatever you choose, I'm sure it will be great

[twinkinspector]

Oh my gosh yay! Okay okay so basically the story goes that I met Tori in college at a baking club competition. The seniors in his program ran the club, so he entered a chocolate sculpture as an exhibition, and I entered some raspberry lemon bars. There were extras after the judges made their rounds and he tried one and loved it. Meanwhile I was blown away by the chocolate sculpture he made.

He noticed me staring at it even as everyone else had gathered around to hear the awards, so he came over to say hi to me, found out the lemon bars were mine then too. And we became friends!

We ended up spending lots of time in the culinary student kitchens where he practiced techniques for his exams and showed me everything he knew. We bonded over food and also not having a ton of friends on campus. He would walk me back to my apartment every time we hung out no matter what time of day it was or what the weather was like because Tori is a gentleman always. Sometimes I would crash in his dorm room too. (He was always in the dorms as part of his scholarship requirements.)

We stayed such good friends throughout the rest of college and I helped him put together his portfolio to apply for internship programs around the world, developing a HUGE crush along the way which he never noticed because he has some self-esteem struggles, which...same lol

On the day we planned to open all his admission letters, I made him his favorite dessert and wrote him this sort of confession note, but before he could read it, we found out he'd been accepted into a prestigious program in Paris and he'd be gone for at least a year if he accepted. It was so exciting and also so sad.

I ended up trying to take my confession letter back but he begged me to read it and I let him which made this all even sadder. But turns out, he liked me too so much.

Of course I convinced him to go to Paris and told him that I would always be his friend and would always wait for him to come home, but that I couldn't let him put his life on hold for me.

There's some major drama that happens while he's away, but he does come home eventually and we work our way up into a relationship and eventually open a little bakery together!

Thank you for letting me share! I love our little origin story so much ^^

STOP I'M GONNA CRY THIS IS SO SO SO SWEET (not just bc it was about sweets)

waaaaah this is beautiful because you meet because of the same thing that takes him to paris and and and THE PASSION

thank YOU for sharing this with me!! i loved reading it so so much and calling him tori is making me MELT that is so cute

the idea of a little bakery is making me tear up brb i have to go CRY NOW

[mercurytrinemoon]

You were talking about feeling like you have a discrepancy between imagination/dreams/goals and "actualizing" them so to speak. Is what you meant?

Here's some ways I've dealt with that in my life, being 100% real. I don't know if these will be at all relatable to you. If not, disregard :)

Growing up and even into my early 20's, I wrote, journal style, constantly. I also tested very high in language/communications, and honestly, my fear of not being able to imagine myself succeeding in a dorm setting in college actually kept me from ever applying anywhere. It wasn't even a fear - it certainly wasn't well thought out, because I probably wouldn't have been in a 4 year dorm situation anyway. I NEVER had a thing I wanted to do or become. I started working minimum wage full-time jobs (which are soul crushing), which totally put a stop to my writing and imagining. This attitude paved the way for a pretty depressing, unfulfilling life. For this reason I think encouraging as much positive imagination regarding a future life is important AF for kids to do... because somewhere along the way I was taught not to dream or reach for anything, to settle for the least.

Receiving money. I never struggled budgeting during my full time min wage "era", however, a situation happened when I was 26 that brought all of that to a screeching halt. It was traumatic and left me disabled. I had to wait about 4 years before I realized I could get a major compensation for what happened. I went through the motions of getting a lawyer, and all of a sudden it was settled - a LOT of money. More than I'd ever had at one time. Instead of being smart with it, I just stuck it in my checking account and slowly wasted ALL of it on nothing of any lasting value. Just signed up for stupid subscription boxes and ordered dumb sht on Amazon whenever I felt like it. It's so depressing to think about what kind of life I could have had if I had used that money WISELY.

I recently got a smaller, but substantial gift left for me by my grandmother after she passed. I put it somewhere safe, but for the life of my I cannot picture what I should use it for. Everything in my life needs upgraded, but I can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it.

Ahhh thank you for sharing! I really appreciate that!

For this reason I think encouraging as much positive imagination regarding a future life is important AF for kids to do… because somewhere along the way I was taught not to dream or reach for anything, to settle for the least.

It's a tricky thing cause I personally always dreamt big. I also used to journal CONSTANTLY throughout all of my teen years and a bit into my 20s and, especially when I was 12 or 13, I liked to write stories about my future life (or I would imagine I was born a decade earlier and I was peers with the people I look up to and we're buddies etc etc, like a really vivid imagination haha). So I always encourage people to dream big as well but then again, me being the encouraging "cheerleader" of the group, I don't want to disappoint anyone in case their dreams won't be fullfilled. But in MY perfect world, everyone should be doing the thing they love the most and are amazing at, there's too much wasted talent out there.

But I get what you're saying. I've never been in a situation like that but I'm sure if I ever got an unexpected gift (whether it'd be money/something material or even an amazing friend group or an amazing relationship), I wouldn't know what to do with it either. I have that issue where if I'd ever got what I wanted, I'd be so scared of loosing it… and that would probably lead me to ignore that thing, idk. That's why on one hand I can imagine a lot but on the other, I'd be clueless what to do with it or I would feel like I don't deserve it or things like that. Kind of like, "who? me?" haha.