#this challenge has been so important to me and im just so glad that other people have enjoyed and been motivated by my challenge!!!

[if-you-feel-lonely]

marin alive challenge! my birthday is soon. imagine it being reader birthday but them not telling creator? (and birthday is not open to public) CUS IM FEELING SILLY!!!

sorry if it’s a lil complicated. - ☕️

You can't expose me like that

AND I'M SORRY IF YOUR BIRTHDAY HAS ALREADY PASSED, BUT HAPPY LATE/EARLY/ON TIME BIRTHDAY ☕ ANON!!!! :D

You didn't specify who you wanted, so I did a few short headcanons for each person on my list :]

Pronouns: they/them

TW: none

To you, your birthday was always your business - nobody else's.

You celebrated with your family and your friends in real life

You'd never revealed your birthday to the public

You liked your privacy and it felt a little too risky for your taste

You were showing one of your favourite gifts you'd received today, having forgotten they didn't know your birthday.

It takes Ranboo a second to realise that he didn't know your birthday in the first place. He thought he'd been told and just forgot about it, so he sat there apologising for forgetting about your birthday for a good five minutes.

Tommy is about shouty, tbh. He's in shock that you told him your birthday by showing him the fucking cow print trousers that your mum got you.

Tubbo kind of forgets he didn't already know your birthday. He's just going with it, like he knew all along. He tries not to make a big deal out of it.

Niki is quite honoured that you've told her. She doesn't know a lot about you, since privacy is very important to you, so she's glad you're letting her into that part of your life.

Jack finds it quite funny that this is how he's finding out it's your birthday. Yes, he's glad you trust him with that information, but that doesn't mean it's not quite funny. He'll probably forget you don't share your birthday online though, and he might let it slip.

Wilbur is quite annoyed that you only just told him. Not because he feels entitled to know, but he's annoyed that he hasn't had time to get you anything, so he sends something to your house to arrive tomorrow with Amazon prime.

Schlatt half-thinks it's a joke - a way to throw him off and make him think it's your birthday, when it's actually not. He's quite confused when you laugh at him for thinking that.

C!Techno, though he doesn't act like it, is glad you told him. To everyone else on the SMP, you were a mystery. Nobody knew where you were from or when you were born, so he was quite honoured to know. He tries to throw something together as a small gift, though.

Phil is in disbelief that you've told him with no issues - so casually. He's glad you told him, it proves that your relationship really has changed over the time you've known each other.

[st-danger]

thankyouu! :)

first of all wanna early last month or dec i bought one of the readings on etsy and it has opened my mind a lot, really put things into perspective, so thank you for that…

and my question for now would be… so i have exams and im really worried about the first one, im feeling really tired and can rarely concentrate, any tips for dealing with that bcs i need to do well on this one

again… thankyou 🖤

AHH I'm so glad it was helpful for you! Well, my friend, let's get into it.

Don't leave yourself out in the cold, or hang yourself out to dry. Right now, it's incredibly important that you ask for help and take people up on offers of support. You trend towards being a more independent soul who likes to do things on their own, and bravo to you for that- but it shouldn't be at the expense of your well-being, physical or mental.

While upright, our friend is wandering the streets, unclothed and clearly unprepared. The eye that peers out sees them, ready to welcome them in from the lonely road should they just knock. Reversed, we see an emphasis on needing to make that connection happen.

Such a focus on breaking isolation says to me that you've been putting in tons of time into studying and preparing for this exam. You've been working really hard, but you're going to burn yourself out. Take a deep breath, and step away for a night. Go do something with friends, or go do something on your own- but get out of the house and library for a bit. It sounds cheesy and trite, but the worried expression the figure wears needs to be cast off and replaced with a happier look. Where the mind goes, the body follows- remind yourself of how much time and effort you've been putting in, and try to tell yourself things will go well. Even if it seems fake. Even if it seems like you're lying to yourself. Just say it, repeatedly. Think positively- again, I know that can be wickedly irritating advice, but the mindset change is strongly threaded through this card.

Preparation is important, but you do need to dedicate time towards looking after yourself, even if that means a little less time with your nose to the grindstone. If you run yourself down, you're just going to handicap yourself. Being well rested and less stressed will put you in a far better position to achieve success. Keep working hard- regardless of how well you do or do not do on the exam, there's an opportunity here for academic growth. As far as other ways to prepare, reevaluate how you are studying, and see if you have other resources available to you that you have not yet used. I pulled another card (sneaky sneaky!) and it shows that you have some other tools, whether people or materials, that can help prepare you more effectively. The exam is going to be challenging, but as long as you're working smart, you'll complete it.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

Im glad to hear u and ur gf are goin strong. Ur past posts made me think u guys broke up or something 😭 as someone who was just a placeholder in my last relationship that it messed my perceptions of dating (ex. i get insanely jealous over the smallest of things 😞), how do u manages that? sorry for my english

No we haven’t broken up! I think it’s a bit of rocky learning curve for us. We had a long talk about whole the whole thing, she understands my insecurities about the situation and she understands I’m in love with her. I think it’s a take it by day thing , you know ? Keeping communication open. We both , at the end the of the day, want to prioritise our friendship above all else, so we talked about what it would look like if we did break up and why that might happen.

I guess I still feel a little insecure, still comparing myself to her ex a bit. I never expect her to give up the love she has for her, because I know she was and still is a very important person who saved her in a lot of ways. But dealing with those feelings of inadequacy or like I’m only here because she isn’t is still a working progress. My GF understands why what she said send me into such a spiral. And I think us trying and communicating is the best thing we can do. Don’t know what the future might hold, which is very scary, but I feel less alone in that challenge now which is really nice.

She told me she is still okay never falling in love again since she experienced with her ex and said she would be fine being in a relationship with someone where they both just loved each other , but when it came to light that I am in love with her she thought about it for a bit and said if her partner is in love with her then she needs to get to that point too or she won’t feel good about it. So there is still a little insecurity on my part over that , but I’m going to work hard so it turns out well for the both of us.

I’m so sorry that’s something you went through , I know that must have been incredibly isolating and painful. You never deserved that. Ever. You are beautiful and whole and worthy fully as you are. And I know someone will see that and cherish you fully.

Thank you so much for popping in, I hope you have a beautiful day!

(Also never ever apologise for your English !!! You are doing so well ❤️❤️❤️❤️)

[alinalal-art]

Hey Alina! This isn't an "ask" as much as it is me giving you some much-deserved flowers. Lately, I've been doing more Drawabox exercises (I'm FINALLY almost done with lesson 1 after months of dragging my feet and procrastinating - starting to even look forward to the 250 box challenge and lesson 2 now[!]), and I remembered that I would have even known about the program at all had it not been for me following you on Twitter. Your input has been important in me taking a more serious approach to improving my artistic fundamentals; I'm grateful to you for helping to show me a better direction.

In fact, on top of being an inspiring artist, you've made contributions that I've found quite insightful on more than one occasion. Observing/studying your timelapses and CSP files have proven quite helpful with figure and composition construction, technique, and even patience, and your recent TikTok videos on online art resources are must-watch for artists of all skill levels and styles. Even as you continue to build your own brand as an artist, you're also becoming something of a guiding light to other artists. It's truly admirable, and I think you deserve some acknowledgement for your generous spirit.

Long(er) story short, I just wanted to take the time to say that I hope you know your efforts aren't being ignored and, more importantly, I appreciate you. Wishing you all the best!

AHHHH THIS MESSAGE IS SO SWEET 🥺🥺🥺 Im so glad its been helping you!!! Keep at it! I try to share resources and stuff when I find them so its really nice to know its been useful for people ! Thank you so much for writing this 😭❤️

[sweatflame]

just wanted to say that i appreciate beyond reason the fact that you "embrace" your breasts (that sounds so clunky, i promise im not being a creep.) i'm not a butch, i used to id as one, but nowadays i find that being a label-less hypermasc lesbian is just fine for me. however, i do use binders and/or tape to hide my chest. i'm exceedingly uncomfortable with it, and what's more, i have always felt that they take away from my masculinity. i've always strived for passing for a man in public spaces, because i just want to be that masculine. i love my masculinity, and in my head, the fact that i'm indistinguishable from a biological male means that i've reached the pinnacle of it. however, in the grand scheme of things, i don't think i'm doing my psyche or my body any favors by hiding this part of me. and seeing other masculine women not hide theirs... means a lot, more than you know. so, thank you, i suppose. -n

dealing with that dysphoric experience of your chest in relation to masculine identity is its own juggle and i think trying what feels right for you is really important. i personally can't wear binders because if anything they make me hyperaware of my chest - i want to achieve a body neutrality state where i am okay with my body as it is because it is genuinely the only thing that would work for me in my situation. my body does not have to represent my masculinity or my person because it is going to be there anyway and it doesn't have to live up to what other people may expect it to be like in order to read me "correctly". in my feminist journey it has been super important to challenge that constant body monitoring, even as it translated into lesbian identity, butchness and gender nonconformity. to me it is also a means of resistance to not hide them, not accommodate other people's discomfort with them, the perceived disconnect or condradiction, because my own discomfort is not innate and i am in a place where it does not hurt me to challenge it and examine it. this is just my experience; but i am glad it helps you. our bodies/bodies like ours are going to exist whether they are represented as an ideal or not. if anything, i'm glad to be where i am with my body and myself because at least we are not fighting anymore

[httpiastri]

Hello love!

It's been a little while, so first of all-Happy belated birthday! I saw the messages on the day and wanted to write a little something, but then I got so busy 🙈 so I wish you all the best, for all of your wishes to be fulfilled and a great year overall!

I really like the new layout, it seems so calm 🩵

I feel like my life has been so busy lately, I barely had time to catch my breath. But for now, I am incredibly happy to be here and getting to know me again in a completely different environment. My host family is so lovely and last weekend I met some nice au pairs that live really close to me, so now I am not even alone anymore haha!

Being here also means that I am kinda always out and about, so I only watched fp3 yesterday and the start of the f2 race today. It's a shame it got cancelled so soon :( but safety first of course!

I won't be able to watch the F1 race tomorrow, but I am still hoping for some Lando magic. I really want him to win the race, but I also want to be there and watch it live? But it will be Max's win anyways lol!

In the last ask you said you were planning dropping out of uni- I am sorry to hear that, even though its probably for the best if you don't like the subjects. I don't know how people react in your country with news like that, but just remember that it's most important to be happy with what you do! (Who knows? Maybe you want to do a year abroad somewhere as well?)

I will probably catch up on all the writing you uploaded in the last couple of days and go to bed then- I am exhausted 😴

-✨

love! hello!! thank you so much, i hope you get a lovely year too 💘 and thank you! my old theme was so random shssjhs i do enjoy this a bit more !!

aw it makes me so glad to hear that you are happy and that the people around you are good to you. and i love the positive mindset! it must be really challenging but you’re doing so well 🥹 and oooo you met some people!! that’s lovely !!! are they from a lot of different countries or is it all kind of similar? if you get what i mean shsksjs

yeah it must be hard to keep track of all racing when you’re so busy… i was disappointed about them cancelling f2 but i do think it was a good choice, it didn’t seem very safe. it just sucks that they can’t like postpone sessions instead of cancel them :( like i get that it’s because of the schedule on the track but it still sucks! for everyone probably

!! crossing my fingers for lando tomorrow !!!! hoping for maybe a little rain (but not so much that it’s dangerous) for tomorrow’s f2 feature so arthur can get some easy climbing…. pls he deserves some points 🙏🙏🙏

hmm well in my country i guess it’s kinda like… not super weird to not go to uni? or at least it’s common to take a few years off to work and stuff after high school. the good thing about sweden is that school doesn’t cost anything so i have no debts and won’t lose any money for dropping out, which i guess is a big problem for people dropping out in other countries. we even get paid to go to school here, and tbh i was gonna use that money to pay for rent but that’s not happening now…. so well 🫠 but yes thank you, i will try to remember that!! <3

to be honest, i’ve thought a lot about moving to another major city or even going abroad, because recently i feel like this place isn’t for me in some way. i applied (and got accepted) to a school in the second biggest city, but i have too many responsibilities here this year that i just can’t escape from so it just wouldn’t work out 🥲 but i really do think that moving abroad is going to be the goal for me for the future! idk how but im gonna try to make it happen lmao!! i shall take inspiration from your braveness 🥰🤭

awh, i hope you get some good sleep and dream sweet dreams of our boys!! 😚😚😚

[orbitalpirate]

Jan Maas anon here to give you a space to talk about Isaac <3

Sorry for not sending asks like at all this week but I have brainrot for other fandoms atm ;)

JAN MAAS ANON!!!! A. Never ever apologize I feel so honored to get an ask at all let alone to have you coming back over and over and letting me talk about the boys??? You are valued like a king on this blog. You are worshipped. B. Isaac time >:3

I just think Isaac is neat okay! He's such an interesting and dynamic character and he had so much depth and im so glad they gave him space to shine in season 3. Anyways here are some headcanons becuase he's been rotating in my brains microwave all day

- Isaac absolutely has a lot of problems with toxic masculinity. But like it's extremely nuanced as it plays into black masculinity and societal fears and expectations of Isaac as a strong black man. He feels he has to be tough and unemotional but also has some issues with white male authority figures because he grew up not trusting them (and often times he's right to do so) his mentorship with Roy is very important to him as it challenged a lot of notions he had. If we ever get more content from the show I would love to have Isaac exploring vulnerability and the idea that not only is he allowed to be vulnerable but that he always has been. (That one got long sorry I took a lot of gender studies classes in college)

- on a much lighter note I read a fic once where Isaac took some community college courses and it made me so happy? Like he will not be defined by his career. He will challenge himself intellectually. Based.

- it was pointed out to me by @carolinemathildes that Isaac canonly watches I Think You Should Leave and as a huge fan I have decided his favorite bits are you have to marry your mother in law and palm tree girls. He will quote sketch comedy bits to the guys fully aware they do not get it

- he learned to cut hair helping his sisters and himself growing up and is so so good at braiding hair, he has done Winchester and Kukoč's hair and it looked fucking incredible.

- where his favorite candy is a fixed constant Isaac has the likes fun beverage gene and always has a fun little drink and his favorite drink is always a different answer. Huge bubble tea fan and always tries the new coke flavors

- has a hard time driving at night because of his vision

- has met every person in Colin's family. When Colin told his mom he had a boyfriend she got very excited and asked if it was Isaac.

-can't tie his shoes well and has to retie them multiple times

I can and will say more at the drop of a hat but I'll stop here for now :)

[honeymouthedtales]

This chapter has answered all of my questions and theories that i have silently kept to myself to analyze them all by my lonesome. Ever since the Islands Arc started, my heart had been rooting for DS; seeing her disrespected and underestimated by her people, her family, makes me really sad. I feel like DH, and now their mother, were the only ones who truly believed in her. It makes me agitated no one thinks DS going to marry a foreigner, leaving her home to live in an enemy country, (cont.)

(cont.) bearing said enemy’s child is just as important, tiring and draining as DH being king. And now that she’s heir, people only care about missing DH and how he’s being treated… WTF!!! I’m so glad you brought to light about MK’s situation with being passed the crown from his brother, just like DS right now. I’ve always wondered how that played out; how MK and his brother felt and reacted to the new development, how their relationship was like. With MK and DS being in the same boat, (cont.)

(cont.) I feel like MK could really help her out and share how he’s handled it. MK-DS besties is so heartwarming! its like MK can finally see who DS is NOW than he did during their 15 years of engagement, they were too busy trying to play the perfect husband/wife to really build a true friendship, I could imagine. But DS has perseverance and resilience, to be able to withstand her role as a wife, no one would do what she could (MK said so). I can also imagine that DS training to be a (cont.)

(cont.) prince's wife had been different to training to be the wife of a future king. How did everyone back then feel that DS was going to be queen of the Vale? Her education could have changed to prep her for being a queen, but im guessing a wife in the Islands is different than a wife in the Vale. I could see how everyone looked down on her for trying to be a lady of the Vale and not a lady of the Shar. I’m secretly yearning for a DS side story, she deserves all the love and support!! (cont.)

(cont.) I’m so sorry about my rant, this was a lot I know! i hav a word limit to my ask. But I really needed to get this out of my chest now that ch 58 has satisfied all my theories! You have stated multiple times that you don’t plan ahead, you write as you go in the moment and I didn’t want to say anything for fear of changing your work process. But everything is good now!!! Keep up the good work! Stay healthy and happy!

Joining all your asks into one for clarity.

Yeah, one of the reasons I'm really happy to have written this arc is that for so long people have worked on assumptions greatly shaped by our main characters, Mark who knows very little about the Islands and has only been with Dongsoon a few weeks every year, and Donghyuck who is fiercely loyal to his country and misses it terribly and so is bound to have very good feelings about it.

Many people were surprised to see Dongsoon being neglected because they had come to imagine the Islands being a beautiful place, more fair and equal compared to the Vale. It's only partly true. While the Islands are more willing to challenge some outdated views, they're not a perfectly place and they're affected by period-typical prejudices.

I didn't always have in mind to make Dongsoon's experience being so hard in the Islands, but as soon as the arc started and Yangyang appeared I realized that it only made sense for him to disrespect her because he's used to her just being Donghyuck's sister and not the crown princess. And if he does it, then maybe other people are doing it. Dongsoon was raised to be someone who blended into the situation, doing her thing without being seen because that was seen as a virtue. She was also not trained with weapons (even though some girls are trained) nor in trade, because as the queen of the Vale she wouldn't be able to keep up with that kind of education. She was, however, trained to be a skilled diplomat, and she did study together with Donghyuck and they're both equally smart and not competitive with each other so her education as a princess is not lacking. But she never had to prove that she was fit to rule the way Donghyuck did, nor she gained anyone's respect by bonding with important people or participating in campaigns, or training with the troops.

That's why I really wanted her and Mark to have this moment, because Mark is seeing her as a fellow heir right now, and he's seeing her struggling with the same problems he had in the past, and as someone whose abilities have been doubted by his father again and again, and had to prove himself to everyone, he is in a place of understanding from where he can help her by sharing his experience.

Also, when I started writing this fic some characters were barely fleshed out. Dongsoon appeared so little in this fic in the beginning, and always in moments filled with tension, as a background to Mark and Donghyuck's troubled relationship (i.e. Mark's kiss with her is seen as a negative thing that threatens their relationship, and generally when we think of her spending time with Mark we imagine how must Donghyuck suffered because of it). The few times she appeared as a positive character were in Donghyuck's interludes, but I was really aching to show that Mark and Dongsoon had a good relationship and could even have a better one now.

I also really really wanted to avoid the 'Donghyuck is jealous of his sister route' because it never existed in my p.lans. He loves her dearly, he trusts her dearly, and it could've been easy to hate her for taking Mark when Donghyuck wanted him, but he simply didn't because he loves her. They have a lot of respect for each other, they trust each other, they love each other, and being apart was hard for both of them, especially after having this special bond.

And also it might not be immediate to understand, but the fact that they complete each other so well is one of the reasons no one realized they were Alpha and Omega, because they covered for each other's character flaws and always balanced each other out. Dongsoon always covered for Donghyuck when he got in trouble and went to save him like a good Alpha, but people thought she was an Omega wanting to comfort her Alpha brother. At the same time, Donghyuck was constantly acting out because he needed the attention, and people thought it was a sign of him being an Alpha dragging his sister along in his adventures, but it was actually Dongsoon who stopped him when he was going too far and he always listened to her and trusted her judgment. They are two sides of the same coin in the end.

So this - having Mark getting along with her - is going to make all of them happy, because Donghyuck has the most important Alphas in his life on his side, and both Mark and Dongsoon gain an Alpha friend (especially for Dongsoon, who has no experience being an Alpha, Mark's help will be invaluable) and an ally in stopping Donghyuck from doing something crazy. I'm so glad I had the chance to write about their relationship because I really like it.

[stayxlix]

You deserve so much more recognition for your writing! Off the deep end is such a masterpiece, it’s so new and refreshing to read in the fanfic community. The plot building is insane and the way you’re so descriptive with words makes it easy to imagine the settings. I literally get so immersed into the story whenever I’m reading it, my obsession is eating me alive lol.

Each of the characters are so unique and interesting, I love being able to learn more about them in every chapter, especially with Minho and Jisung! Hyunjin is still a hard one to crack and more closed off compared to the others so it would be really interesting to see how his attitude towards mc will turn out in future chapters, will he remain hostile or be more accepting. The almost relationship between Hyunjin and Felix has me crying because it’s so heartbreaking to read. Sometimes I wonder what goes through Hyunjin’s mind when he sees the evolving relationship between Felix and mc :’(

However, Felix finding that comfort with mc that he never found within Hyunjin has me screaming and him confessing that he’s in love with mc... like FINALLY?! The last few paragraphs of chapter 7 literally gave me goosebumps, I had to put my phone down and take a deep breath before I started tearing up 😭

LOVE the angst so much and how troubled felix is with his own past and emotions because it makes it feel so much more real.  Thank you for continuing to update each chapter despite how busy you are with life. As a reader, I appreciate that a lot! 

hi sweet anon.<3 oh this brought the biggest smile to my face.😭💕i cannot thank you enough for taking the time to share your thoughts, you are incredibly kind. im so grateful for the community of readers like you that ive been lucky enough to connect with. your enthusiasm and curiosity about the characters really touches my heart. referring to the story as something new and refreshing in the fanfic community…wow just wow. this is everything to me, and im going to be thinking about your words for a very long time. its really special to hear that the characters are resonating with you too. theres just so much i want to say about each of their stories/backgrounds, and for them to grow more with mc. i really feel like this story could go on for a very long time.🥹

ah the almost relationship between hyunjin and felix..this has certainly tugged at my heartstrings too. it stems a bit from personal experience i guess, but i really wanted to show that relationships (even between friends) arent always straightforward, you know? lines can blur and despite caring deeply about someone else, things don't always align as neatly as we'd hope in the end. its a bit bittersweet i suppose, but either way, the depth of their connection and the love they have for each other is still undoubtedly present.🥹

omg and the confession at the end of chapter 7—im so happy you were able to feel the intensity of felix's emotions in that moment. i feel like it had been building for quite some time so it was really important for me to do my best to get it right, you know?? i practically held my breath as i wrote those paragraphs too and i definitely had to take a break after it was all over!!😂😭 your reaction was exactly what i hoped to evoke though, and im honored to be part of that emotional experience with you.<3 thank you for allowing it to reach you in this way. im really glad felix's character and his background are resonating with you too, because that really is the heart of the story.🥹

my sweet anon, thank you for jumping into the different layers of the story with such depth. thank you for not only taking the time to read, but for sharing your thoughts with me as well. i really appreciate your understanding of the challenges in updating chapters in the middle of life's chaos...but i can assure you that even if things do get a little crazy from time to time, this story isnt going anywhere.<3 im going to keep updating, and i can't wait to share what lies ahead with you. much love, take care.🤗💕

[pesterloglog]

Kanaya Maryam, Rose Lalonde

Act 5, page 3045-3047

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

GA: Since The Gap Between Your Present Moment And The Implementation Of Your Mystifying Self Destruction Continues To Narrow

GA: This Will Be The Last Conversation In Which I Attempt To Talk You Out Of It Nicely

TT: I explained this.

TT: The intent isn't true self sacrifice.

GA: First Of All Youre Underestimating The Gravity Of A Dream Death

GA: Its A Pretty Serious Thing Okay

GA: And Dream Selves Are Important To A Person In Ways That Arent Always Obvious

GA: I Think Youre Being Frivolous But Thats Not Really The Sentiment Reinforcing The Exoskeleton Of My Argument

GA: Soon You Will Be Blacked Out Of Trollians Viewport

GA: And I Have No Explanation For This

GA: And Neither Do You

GA: So Ill Just Assume The Worst And You Should Too

TT: Are you sure it's not because I'm sleeping?

GA: Ive Seen You Sleep Before

GA: You Are Just

GA: Asleep

GA: On Screen

GA: Peaceful And Harmless And Posing No Threat To Anyone

GA: Unless I Guess You Are Up To Mischief In Your Dreams Which I Cannot Rule Out

GA: Actually Thats Probably What You Do In Your Sleep What Was I Thinking

TT: Shh...

GA: Uh

GA: What

TT: Blah blah blah!

GA: Right Sorry

GA: Im Saying This Is A Special Case

GA: It Is Foreboding And Disconcerting And You Are Being Reckless

TT: You're right, I can't explain why I go dark on your monitor.

TT: But I'm confident in my plan. I have it under control.

GA: Your Hubris Is Really Astonishing

GA: Easily Twice The Mass Of A Universe I Think

GA: That It Hasnt Collapsed Upon Itself Into A Tiny Lavender Singularity Is The Most Striking Marvel Paradox Space Has Coughed Up Yet

TT: Maybe it did?

TT: Maybe that's what went wrong.

TT: We figured it out!

GA: No Please Stop

GA: Humor Wont Deflect My Really Big And Important Tirade Okay

GA: You Are Investing Too Much Confidence In Evil Gods Who Oppose Skaia And Your True Purpose And

GA: I Cant Abide That

GA: And

GA: As Difficult As This Is For Me To Confess

GA: I Think Your Plan Is Very Dangerous

GA: And So Are You

TT: Oh?

GA: Yes

GA: And

GA: Im Afraid I Am Going To Have To Devote All My Efforts To Stopping You

TT: I'm sorry to hear that, Kanaya.

TT: What did you have in mind for this new and exciting adversarial phase of our relationship?

GA: Im So Glad You Asked

GA: You See

GA: I Have Been Training A Powerful Wizard

TT: !

GA: Yes Your Shout Pole Is Like A Tower Broadcasting Your Fear Across The Ring And You Are Right To Be Afraid

GA: I Have Commissioned None Other Than The Legendary Prince Of Hope And I Am Teaching Him The Ways Of White Sorcery

GA: I Have Observed Your Methods And You Will Come To The Most Unwelcome Realization That All Of Your Guile And Cunning Has Finally Backfired

GA: This Noble Magician Of Pure Light Will Serve As The Counterpoint To Your Arcane Debauchery

GA: He Will Hunt You Down And Goodness And Hope Will Prevail

TT: Is it too late to throw myself at your mercy?

GA: Yes Its Much Too Late For That

TT: I see.

TT: Then clearly I will have to prepare for this soul sundering duel, whilst making my own funeral arrangements.

GA: Oh Yes I Do Believe Securing A Corpse Box Would Be Prudent

GA: Fitted To Dimensions Suited To Your Myriad Of Unassembled Leaky Body Parts In Aggregate

TT: What will herald the arrival of this swift and righteous thaumaturge?

TT: Will I be blinded by the fearsome lashes of light ribboning from the incandescent coastline of his beauteous aura?

TT: Should I borrow my friend's sunglasses?

GA: Yes Definitely

GA: Definitely Do That

GA: Wait I Hope That Wasnt Too Emphatic

GA: Maybe At This Point I Should Clarify This Is All A Big Joke

TT: Yeah.

TT: I was getting that.

TT: You don't always have to tip your hand, Kanaya. You were doing well.

GA: I Was

TT: Mm-hm.

GA: Okay Great

GA: I Think What I Find Most Challenging About Human Insincerity Based Humor Is The Degree Of Commitment To The Fantasy Which Is Apparently Requisite

TT: We take it very seriously.

GA: I Mean To Say

GA: The Gesture Of Hostility In This Case Was The Joke

GA: I Did In Fact "Train" This Character

GA: I Made Him A Wand To Shut Him Up

TT: Wait, you did? Really?

GA: He Wouldnt Stop Harassing Me For Your "Secrets"

TT: That's incredible. Well done.

GA: Hes The One With The Royalty Complex And Speaks With All The Extra Vees And Doubleyous

TT: Oh, I knew exactly who you were talking about from the start.

GA: Okay

TT: I must say, this little project pleases me.

TT: Do keep me apprised of all further developments.

GA: Okay I Will

TT: At least until my looming grimdarkdeath steals me away.

GA: Uh

GA: Yeah That

GA: Is Still Something That I Dont Really Want To Joke About

GA: I Hope That Came Across As A Sincere Statement

[zellen420]

Warning ⚠️ meaningless rantings

Ok so. Abit about me, I have had clinical depression since I was 9 years old. It doesn't exactly go away or get better. Cupple that with ADHD the inattentive kind, and dyslexia it's hard to feel that people understand your train of thought.

So I've seen councilors, psychologists and psychiatrists. I've even been on antidepressants. Wall I feel that those treatments are grate. I've had enough poor experiences that I'm kinda at a point where dealing with a professional would course me just as much issues on its own that it doesn't feel exactly worth it. Especially as history has dictated that the moment I felt stable and confident enough in my care to stop hiding and open up. I would be met with some circumstance where my providers would ternate treatment. Or it would become immediately clear that this person is not a safe provider.

So hear is my problem. I have a hard time being motivated to do much more than exist. I feel it has hurt my relationships and stunted my life in general.

You see I know there are things, techniques and "strategies" that work for me and I should be using .. I'm not. Becouse making sure I take my medication is such a challenge that there are many days where that is realistically all I've accomplished.

I hate this

I hate that I can't seem to sleep without headphones becouse if I let myself lission to the silence of my own breath my inner voice rears its head like a ugly hydra prepared to grow louder on more violent with every attempt to quiet it's yamerings of every bad thing, sad moment, disappointment, let down, broken promise , short coming, or interaction that I've ever had. So without a numbing I don't sleep

If I don't have other people to feed I can go all day without thinking of food. And frankly I tend to eat mostly out of routine to avoid my hand shaking and my cat getting mad at me. But with that I do tend to have safe foods that I eat over and over that are frankly tarrable for my system.

I want to be more active.

I think if I move more it may help

My back if fucked

But I'm afraid to walk in my nabourhood. Partly becouse I'm embarrassed to be seen. Mostly becouse of dog owners who don't understand that some people don't want to see your dog. Yes even if you think it's well trained and cute. Your dog isn't something I want to interact with, especially when it is off leash running towards me on a trail marked "on leash only"

But yah know. That makes me the asshole right. Because your choice to brake the rules and let your animal run up to me, where I should be able to safely expect that these owners have control and care for there animals, made me feel unsafe and triggered a anxious shutdown.

I hate leving me house.

I have nowhere to go.

I have no friends that I see regularly.

I can't afford to join a class .

I'm afraid to meet people. Becouse that tends to go badly.

Part of me just wants to go to sleep

But I can't

The thoughts keep me up

They tend me be my mother,

But it's not just her voice

"welp.. you have a multifaceted personality."

"if you don't stop eating you'll always have a rotund figure"

"just try harder"

"You have a unconventional face"

"you have no idea how hard it is to find a dark haired doll with blue eyes. Blue eyes just seem to come with blonds"

"if your eyes are blue then so is a elephants ass"

"dont touch her it's probably contagious"

"why would I be friends with a girl that looks and sounds like a boy"

"you only have long hair so people think your a girl"

"we all know your not a real girl"

"no feaks or foureyes"

"what's the skirt for? Hiding your fat cock?"

"Holy shit it has tits!"

"I'm so glad Im not ******"

"why are you with her?"

"yah know now that I've actually talked to you. Your really easy to get along with."

"you know I can't let anyone know we hangout"

"why should I ? My partner Is more important than you (ther child)!"

"smile"

"never mind. Umm don't smile"

"come take the photo for us. Thank-you !Perfect then everyone will be in it"

"I thought he only had a step daughter"

"your the first born?!"

"I didn't know _____ had a older sister. They never mentioned you"

" youed better be good at something"

"your brother will naturally be more successful than you"

"meeting/getting to know you had been.... 'interesting'"

"fat girls need to give good head. Otherwise who would date them?"

"I figure my face is only a few centimeters above my titts. I'm sure if I can get the focus up from there long enough they won't see my belly"

"if all your friends are hot, and your not conventionally attractive, well we all know what that means.. right"

"she's grate to have around the creeps run when they see her with us"

"why would anyone give a sit about your birthday?"

"you should totally sell this online! I bet If youed try it would work !"

"just do it"

"oooohh your _____s kid?. Damn"

"I promise"

"ignorance is bliss"

"if only we had met another time"

"you only have titts becouse your fat"

" we thought you where ace."

"your interests are.... Unique"

This is the lullaby my brain sings to me each night . I just want to not hate myself thank-you

Like youed think I would have fetishised this by now.

[wooahaes]

Glad to hear you are feeling better! My tutor said that not many people used pop up for their project so part of me took that as a challenge haha (also pop is so cool, there are so many intricate pieces out there!). My dissertation was "the power of music", but I'd deliberately made it vague because I didn't know what to focus on lol. I'm sort of looking at "does music make you smarter". The Mozart effect gets referenced at lot, but it only affects spacial reasoning not intelligence -🍧

There does seem to be a link between studying music and good grades, but it could also just be the students personality not the effect of music. An article i read suggested that when people ask "does music make you smarter" they imply "smarter at something else" which I thought was really interesting. It's definitely interesting to read up on. I think that music does make you smarter, but smarter at music lol. I'm always happy to share about my projects, it's nice when people are interested -🍧

My thoughts on uts. Firstly, it is such a comforting series. Idk how you do it, but every part leaves me feeling warm! I absolutely loved the whole book plot in wonwoo's part. Every part makes me so soft for the 95s, but you keep breaking my heart over cheol haha. I hope I don't sound impatient, but I'm v excited for his part. I can't wait for him to finally get his happy ending? I actually love uts (and all your other fics) so much. I hope you stay well! 🍧

hiii lovely, sorry for not getting to this sooner! i hope your project has been going well (and i hope you figured out pop up if you went with it! i love seeing the intricate pop up art <3). but ooo the power of music sounds like such a cool topic!! i get making it vague through, since i think its good when to stay vague when you're still narrowing down what you really wanna look into.

i can believe there's a link between studying music + good grades, but i do wonder if it's only a certain kind of studying music? like most people default to classical, but i legit listened to whatever i felt like when i did schoolwork/studied because not having lyrics made it harder for me to focus weirdly enough. the "smarter at something else" part is def interesting tho! plus it makes sense with the whole studying music being linked to studying something else. pls feel free to share whatever you like with me! i love hearing about other ppls pursuits, especially in academics <3

aaa tysm!! that means so much to hear, especially with some parts not being the most positive haha (kwan hao wonu) but i'm glad they still have that comforting/warm energy. im glad you enjoyed the book plot in wonwoo's part! i wanted to have some kind of connection to the teasers while stepping firmly away for wonwoo's to be more about him and the reader since reader getting the same ending as him would pretty much have meant they're destined. plus the shifting details is meant to stay in the same vein of 'weird shit happens' lol (also it was just fun to play around with writing something like a storybook).

hehe i'm glad abt the 95z tho! cheol might be the leader of the entire group, but i like making it clear that hannie and shua both also are an important factor in keeping everyone comfy/happy/cared for <3 also whoopsss (over cheol) <3 (its ok i break my own heart with cheol)

im glad ur excited though! trust me, i'm excited for it too. i have a lot planned for it and i honestly kinda think it might be longer than all the other parts once i'm fully done with it? but i'm absolutely satisfied with the plans i have, just gotta write the other parts to get to him <3

i hope you stay well as well! stay hydrated n rest well, mwah <3

[shadyhouse]

Your art is so fuckin good and I lose my mind every time I see it! You pretty much top the list of artists I want to commission one I have digital money again. Do you have any art advice you'd wanna give a fellow (though less experienced) furry artist?

OMGGGG THANK YOU!!! :D that means so much, i'm glad my art can have so much of an influence on you! that seriously makes me so happy 😭 i'm honored to be one of your favorites!!!

as for art advice.... i feel like im not qualified to give Good advice since im pretty much completely self-taught, but also maybe that makes the advice better? idk ive been "serious" about art and doing commissions since 2017 so i have quite a bit of experience but i still feel like a beginner gdhkgjldsgdskg but anyways here's my own personal things ive learned over the years

absorb as much art as you possibly can. art of all mediums. tv shows, movies, music, visual art, animations, books, comics, ect ect ect EVEN bad art! i am a huge believer of the idea that both bad art and good art is extremely important to you as an artist because not only does the bad art show you what Not to do, but sometimes bad art has GREAT ideas that you wouldve never thought of before. whether they're just executed poorly or the ideas arent touched upon as in depth as you'd like. i'm giving you permission to steal ideas right now PLEASE steal ideas from all the stuff you love and put your own personal spin on them i'm BEGGING you!!!! just don't claim other people's art as your own and you're golden

if you want to open commissions but you don't think you're "good enough", open them anyway. i swear it will do nothing but help you improve and give you experience for the future. i started out by drawing things for $10 a pop and it did SO MUCH for my improvement, i'm always drawing stuff that i wouldve never drawn otherwise and it's helped me a ton with my own personal art too. the variety of the prompts you'll get will be intimidating Because it'll be stuff you don't typically draw, but you'll feel such a sense of accomplishment by the end Because it's a challenge. all this being said, don't let people take advantage of you. stand your ground and don't be afraid to refund/deny a commission request because you're excited to get paid. for every client who's a dick to you there's like five clients who will gladly respect you and pay you what you deserve irt your skill and quality. i Promise

DRAW WHAT YOU LIKE TO DRAW!!!! Don't draw what you think other people want to see! at the end of the day, it's YOUR art, and you should be building a gallery full of things that make YOU happy and Spark Joy when you create, regardless of how "niche" the subjects may be. i'm in the process of unlearning this myself, but the best thing that you can do for yourself as an artist is be self indulgent and cater to Yourself above anyone else. if you only draw stuff to pull in followers/commission clients/ect you'll end up getting burnt out EXTREMELY easily and start to resent your art. the best thing to do is to slowly acquire the community that cares the most about your art, and you as an artist. that way you'll feel better about your craft and you'll be able to REALLY feel the love. the people who look at your art can absolutely tell when you're passionate about a piece vs when you're just doing it for attention/money/ect. that's why people who claim they're going to "stoop low and draw furry porn for money" never get anywhere unless theyre TRULY passionate about the craft, because people can TELL when their heart isnt in it

TL;DR draw whatever you wanna draw, be open to try new things, and take in as much art as you can and be open to new life experiences so you can stay inspired even when you're not making art. i hope this is helpful!! i feel like im kinda rambling about my own learning experience haha

[sweetestofchaos]

Wow that's such a wide variety of fandoms. Also it's so funny that we have in common both an interest in poetry and writing love letters for friends XD

Continuing the questions about your work, I want to know which of your GOT7 works you consider the following and why: 1) Your best work, 2) Your most introspective, deep or meaningful work, 3) The one you're most attached to, 4) The one you struggled with the most and 5) The one you aren't happy with but are still glad you wrote it.

(Feel free to add non-GOT7 fics too but since I am your AA, I have to ask for those.)

I think introspection is one of the most important parts of writing, and I hope that this can be an opportunity for you to look back at your work and see how much you've grown!

Wishing you a great day and best of luck for whatever's coming your way.

-Your AA <3

Oof...yeah my taste is wild and changes all the time. You like writing love letters for friend too, huh? I don't think I could do it now if someone where to ask but back in the day, I could've made money 😂 I just want to thank you for asking these questions. I am having so much fun with them and just sitting here thinking of my answers makes my day go by faster. I wrote about Got7 and non-Got7 since some of them I couldn't answer with just Got7.

Looking at everything that I wrote up until now just makes me smile. I have so many different styles, highs and lows...it's crazy. I always enjoy looking back to what got me started! Best Work?

I think for me the best Got7 piece that I wrote would be Got7's reaction to your natural hair. I wrote that during my transition from treated to natural hair, so it was fun to write. I tend to write a lot based off my life or those around me. I think it's my best work because it felt realistic in terms of how I thought they would handle the situation. It wasn't a rushed piece and I often go back to it, just to read for fun.

A part from Got7, Stupid Love is something I would consider to be one of my best works. It was my first time diving into a new trope (unrequited love) and I just felt that IM from Monsta X fit the role really well. It was nice to challenge myself and I am more than pleased with how that story turned out.

2. Most introspective/deep/meaning?

I would say my Youngjae fic Cry Baby, to me is the one that is the most meaningful. I suffer from bipolar depression and it was a bad day for me. I wrote it to help get my feelings out and so far I think it's the only Got7 fic that holds such a feeling.

Outside of Got7, I wrote a piece for Mingi of Ateez called Consideration which is heavily based on my life. I think people in relationships of any kind tend to forget that the other person has their own wants/needs. You get comfortable with people and lines blur or just get forgotten. You start to take things for granted and Consideration is there to bring light to those feelings and moments.

I really wish I wrote more deeper fic but I just haven't done it yet. It's on my list for 2023 lol

3. Most attached to?

I'm really attached to my Mark fic Piggy Back. It was an idea that just came to me and I didn't struggle with it at all. Everything was finished in one go and I'm pretty proud of that piece. It's one of my earlier works, so I'm sure it could use some touching up but it's just really soft and sweet.

Another one I'm extremally attached to is Closure. It's a quick one-shot that has Bang Chan of Stray Kids. It's another fic that mirrors a low point in my life and it means the world to me. It was healing for me to write and hold a nice piece of my heart.

4. One I struggled with the most?

By far I Won't Let You Fall with Yugyeom has been the fic that I've struggled with the most to write. It was a request for enemies to lovers and I wanted to bang my head against the wall. E2L is not a trope that I like very much, I tend to ignore it a lot. So when it was requested, I took the challenge and it did not disappoint. I'm pretty sure I wrote that request three times before I finally got something that I liked enough to post.

I am currently working on a Min Yoongi soulmate fic (Blackthorn) that is kicking my butt. I have so many ideas for it but it hard to get it all down on paper/screen. There are so many plot holes right now because I always get ideas in parts and never a full picture. So I am struggling to fill in those holes and makes sure point a and b match up before I can even think about point c and d. It's also a royal fantasy au, so I'm trying to world build a lot more which I'm not the best at.

5. One I'm not happy with but glad I wrote?

It is very rare that I post something that I'm not happy with. My Got7 pieces, are works that I love with my whole heart. So, I don't have a Got7 piece that I'm not happy with. I like most of everything that I post, I take my time with it all which is why I like everything.

If anything I would have to say, my Shownu fic Rainstorm is the fic that I like the least. Only because when I read over it, I feel that it's just a lot of word jumble that doesn't need to be there. It doesn't really give anything for the reader to hold onto and think about. Plus it was a piece I wrote back when I was first getting into Monsta X so I don't think I put a lot of thought into it.

Thank you again, AA

Chaos

[myhoneststudyblr]

So my 2020 Quarantine Challenge has come to an end after 4 months!!! When i created this challenge i couldn’t have imagined the incredible response that it received! i honestly thought that it would just be me doing this challenge so to have so many of you be so dedicated to this challenge is amazing to me. i can hardly believe that I've posted every day for four months (112 days!!!) as part of this challenge

This challenge has been personally very important to me. Before i started it, my mental health wasn’t in the best place and i was really struggling and there were many times during the early days of the challenge that i could hardly get out of bed. This challenge and all of you that have taken part have motivated me more than you can possibly know and i am now in a much better, more secure place, for which i cannot thank you all enough! <3

I've had the pleasure to get to know so many new people and discover some truly amazing blogs. the interaction with you all has been the best thing that i truly didn’t expect before i started it!!! 

I know that many people are still doing this challenge so that they can finish it and you can keep doing it for as long as you want. i will try to check the #2020 quarantine challenge tag occasionally and reblog some stuff that i see there!

With the end of this challenge, i would like to remind you all that my Summer Studying Challenge will be beginning tomorrow Monday 13th July. You can find the challenge here! I hope many of you will join in and let’s motivate each other even more!!!!

I now want to tag some people who i would especially like to thank for their involvement and support of the challenge:

@bookmadmochi @upside-down-uni @teaandanightowl @coffeeandpies @lattesandlearning @jeonchemstudy @captainofstudies @rivkahstudies @headgirlstudy @abbieestudia @divinity-study @mid-nightstudy @teapenguin @positivity-studies @anothernerdstudies @germanellewoods @oreleona @learning-to-think @tortugannastudies @inspiralynotes @flutissimo @jasstudyblr

there are so many others that i’ve surely forgotten!!! i appreciate absolutely everyone who has taken part in the challenge!!!!

💕 thank you all so so much 💕

- Sophie

[poppy-metal]

so uh,,,,this ended up being alot softer then i was expecting LMAO.

Bully!eren x reader

Cw: not alot, some smut at the end. Tame for me but i was in my FEELINGS okay.

Word count: 2.3k

The familiar sleek black of erens benz pulls up to the side of your house as you walk home from a late night trip to the grocery store, pints of ben & jerrys ice cream in the bags, as well as several other snack items one might munch on to cram for an exam, which is what you planned on doing. 

You side step more onto the sidewalk when he pulls up beside you, still driving just slow enough to match your pace. He rolls down the window, jerking his head, “Just the girl i wanted to see,” he drawls hooking his arm out his window to lean out a little, he grins, “its fate” 

You scrunch your nose up and scoff “Stalking is another word for it, jaeger”. You look him over suspiciously, “you wanted to see me?” 

He rolls his eyes. He’s wearing aviator sunglasses, pushed up his forehead. Loitering in front of your house like this, you’re aware of how different the worlds you live in are. Everything about eren is expensive, from his car to his sunglasses to his clothes, even the way he smells, the cologne he wears, all tells how important he is. Meanwhile here you are in your oversized hoodie and leggings, hands full of stuff you’d bought from the convenience store, prepared to spend your night busting your ass to even stay in the college you had to claw your way to get into, wherein he had gotten in without even trying. You’re not self conscious, at least not usually. You’d never yearned to be apart of erens world too terribly, and it was eren who always sought you out, not the other way around, when there was plenty of rich girls right up his alley and status that would be glad to be with him and yet here he was at 11pm at night. You try to push down the way your heart flutters at that fact.

“Uh huh. Get in the car, bambi, m’taking you somewhere” his teeth are a flash of white against the night, promising trouble, as always. Your grip on your bags tightens, as does your heart in your chest. You glance away, “i have to study” 

“Study?”

Your brows pinch together and you hold up your bags “Not that you’d care, jaeger, but some of us have to actually study to achieve our goals. I can't entertain you tonight, im busy” 

Eren doesn’t look put out in the slightest, glancing down at your bags with casual disinterest“You dont need to study”. And then he looks up at you and meets your eyes, your breath catching, they look closer to the shade of seaglass today. “You’re smarter than anyone i know, ___, and i know alot of people. Whatever you want to pass? You’re already there. Just come with me, please”  

Your eyes widen and your heart spasms in your chest, caught off guard by the raw honesty in his voice. He has moments like this, where he usually teases you and gets under your skin but sometimes he says something that makes everything in you jolt. Its not fair. Its confusing and it messes with your head, makes it fuzzy, weakens you and makes you do things you’d never do with a clear mind.  

You wish you could fight it, wish you could roll your eyes and tell him no and do what you need to do. But you don’t. Huffing you say, “Ugh, fine. Just let me put this stuff up, my ice creams probably already a puddle by now” you turn and rush up to your house, ears burning when you hear him call out, “Thatta girl!” 

You try not to put everything away to hastily, thinking he ought to squirm just a little, but even you can’t deny the eager buzzing under your skin. When you clamber into the passenger seat of his car eren turns to grin at you as he flicks his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Knew you’d see reason, bambi”. You roll your eyes at the nickname, crossing your arms over your chest as you side eye him warily, “where are you taking me jaeger, is this a kidnapping?” 

“Not a kidnapping when you want it, sweetheart”, eren says, putting his arm around the back of your seat as he backs up his car to make a uturn. You dont know if the flustered leap in your chest is from the petname or the way his forearm looks flexing, the cords in his neck prominent as he looks behind him for any oncoming cars. “Just trust me, yeah? You’ll like it” 

You sink in the seat, trying to get away from the warm heat of his arm so close to you, but hes taking it away soon enough, only to draw your attention again to the way his hands look steering the wheel. His hands….You turn to look out the window, opting for silence, because you feel like you’re about to lose your mind. This car is just so..him and its overwhelming your senses. It smells good, it smells like him, his cologne wafting all around you. The sleek interior of his car is crisp, clean, sharp, and just so richboy it feels surreal. You haven’t been in his car before. 

Eren seems okay with the silence though, tapping his finger idly against the wheel as soft music plays from the radio. Its strangely peaceful, actually. Before you know it, the whirring of houses and neighborhoods and highway turns into palm trees and sand. You sit up straighter, coming out of your daze when you realize eren is pulling his car into the sandy bank by a large body of water. The beach. You haven’t had a chance to go here. 

The water looks like black at this time of night, there are no waves, just sparkling dark abyss that stretches out for ages and ages, glittering under the moonlight. There are no other cars parked close to you so its just you, eren, and the sea. 

You spend quite awhile gawking at the ocean before you come to your senses and turn to face eren. He has his elbow propped on the wheel, chewing idly on his thumb as he peers at you from over his sunglasses. A small smile is playing at his lips as he watches you. 

You gape, “What…” 

“You’re cute when you’re excited, you know” his voice is low, dropped in that way that makes your toes curl in your shoes. You ignore the way your heart skips at his words, probing him, “Why did you bring me here, ren?” 

He turns to face forward, flipping the radio off so theres no background noise between the two of you. Taking his sunglasses off the folds them and puts them on the dash, sighing as he watches the ocean from out the windshield, gnawing on his lips. Tap, tap, tap, his fingers on the wheel go as you wait for him to speak. “Last week,” he starts, glancing at you, “When we had to do those presentations in class about places we feel at home..you talked about the library” 

He laughs under his breath like its some kind of endearing joke, shaking his head a little. You dont speak. “The library is where i first saw you, you know? I mean, before all this, before i..talked to you, i noticed you before you ever noticed me.” A small secret smile plays on his lips, “You were reading ‘percy jackson and the lightning thief’, and you haid your hair in pigtails. Your glasses were way to big your face. My first thought was ‘wow she looks like an owl’, but then i saw you laugh at something on the page and my second thought was ‘i want to know her’. We were in middle school.” 

Green eyes connect with yours, “You still go there, i know. But anyway..this is. My place, i guess”. He purses his lips “i figure since i'm always intruding on your little sanctuary , i’d let you see mine” 

You take everything he just said in. He’d known about you, noticed you, since middle school? You hadn’t acknowledged him until sophomore year of highschool, hadn’t spoken to him since senior year, when this tug and pull had first begun between you two. You remembered that day, your mother wouldn't buy you the series so you’d relied on constantly re-reading the books at the library. It was around that time you began to see that place as something special, too. Tucked away from the world, you could lose yourself in another's story. It was like magic. And to realize eren had been there the whole time, had glimpsed that, realized that the library was your special place, that he’d even payed attention to your presentation in class at all in the first place...that he was here, showing you something of himself in return, even though you’d never asked. You’d wondered of course. 

Eren was an enigma, he was on most days, the bane of your existence. He had made your life a living hell on many occasions, but with that, he also made you feel more alive than ever before. He’d dragged you out of your bubble and challenged you to see the world beyond school and books and fiction, he raised your emotions and forced you to experience everything head on. Anger, confusion, happiness, anxiety, thrill, lust and…

You look at him. The way the moonlight curls into the car like a kind of mist, making his eyes look absolutely beautiful. The soft wave to his brown hair, his eyelashes, everything about him made you ache with desire. All the time, even when you swore you hated him, you wanted him. 

“Kiss me”. Its whispered out so low, for a moment you worry he might not hear it. Its the first time you’ve asked for him, reached for him first without his taunting to guide a confession from you. With this request, filling the air between you, you’re making it known that you want him, want this. It doesn’t change anything and yet it somehow changes everything. You can’t look in the mirror and tell yourself he doesn’t occupy your mind and your heart anymore. Not after this. 

Eren seems to realize this too, his intake of breath letting you know he heard you loud and clear. “__..” he says, inching closer. His eyes, dark now, are so very hungry as he closes in. In a moment his lips, soft, so soft, are on yours. You sigh into his kiss, opening for him easily when his tongue glides into your mouth. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, tenderly, thumb stroking it. God, you want to eat him, you want him to eat you. The wet smack of your lips fills the car as you hungrily nip, and suck, and kiss at each others lips. 

When eren pulls back, he’s panting, hair disheveled. You don’t remember when your hands first sunk into his hair, but they must have, messed up as it is now. He looks at you like he wants to devour you, he licks his lips. “I’m gonna put your seat back,” he tells you slowly, each word dripping with finality, “im going to kiss every inch of your body and then you’re opening those legs for me and letting me inside, baby” 

You don’t have it in you to act scandalised, you know what you want. You’d basically asked for it. You just nod, never taking your eyes off his face when he reaches down and pulls the lever. And then you feel yourself being tilted backwards as the seat goes back, laying you flat. Your chest heaves with barely contained need as eren then settles above you, every clothed inch of him hovering just barely above you. 

Holding your eyes, eren lowers himself. You spread your legs easily to accommodate him, gasping when you feel his clothed cock settle right against your clit through your leggings. He rocks once, gently, against you, his hair hanging over his forehead as he looks down at you with utter want in his eyes, “Want you to feel me”, he murmurs, and rocks again, “Wanna fill you up so good, you can’t ever pretend that im not apart of you. Because, this, baby?” Another rock, a shuddered moan leaving your lips, “This is it. No ones gonna fuck you like i do, no ones gonna get inside that little head and play the games we play so well together.” 

One of his hands trails up your thigh, dipping his hand under the fabric of your leggings and pulling them slightly down, he pecks your lips, once, twice, three times. “Tell me”, he groans into your mouth, peeling your clothes off you slowly, “Tell me you understand, Tell me this is everything” 

And you tell him. Tell him through your whimpers when he parts the folds of your slick cunt with his fingers buried inside you. Tell him through your moans into his mouth when he shoves his jeans down and splits you open on his cock. Tell him through sighs of his name, when he rocks into you, licking into your mouth as he spears you open. Tell him through the way you claw your fingers down his back when starts to fuck you hard, rocking the car with the force of his thrusts. Tell him through the way you spread your legs, even wider, toes curling as he wrings orgasm after orgasm out of your tight little pussy milking him. 

“Its everything, you’re everything…” You cry out again and again, clutching onto him as he pumps you full of his cum, groaning brokenly into your neck. 

“Fuck”. He pulls back to look down at you, brushing your damp hair back from your face, still inside you. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, you little nerd”