#this chapter is too difficult to read

[kvtnisseverdeen]

Buttercup begins to wail as well. No matter what I do, he won’t go. He circles me, just out of reach, as wave after wave of sobs racks my body, until eventually I fall unconscious. But he must understand. He must know that the unthinkable has happened and to survive will require previously unthinkable acts. Because hours later, when I come to in my bed, he’s there in the moonlight. Crouched beside me, yellow eyes alert, guarding me from the night. In the morning, he sits stoically as I clean the cuts, but digging the thorn from his paw brings on a round of those kitten mews. We both end up crying again, only this time we comfort each other.

[idontparticularlyliketoast]

[emstargazer]

So yeah, about that new chapter...

Seeing Guts in the state that he's in right now is affecting me in the worst way possible.

It's far from the first instance where he showed suicidal tendencies, but this was so, so much more desperate and direct than at any point in the past. The "angel of death" panel along with the one where Silat yells at him induced a strong headache that hasn't really subsided for now. Not even being metaphorical‚ my head is genuinely spinning and I feel sick to my stomach.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @ethereal-maia @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly @lady-a-stuff

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's death, gore (including burning bodies), descriptions of dead bodies, blood, ptsd references/responses, loss of a parent, implied abuse, and sorry I don't know how to word this but if you don't like/are specifically squeamish about eyes there is a reference in the gore that is specific to eyes so I thought it might be worth mentioning.

Chapter 21 - Maya

Maya was twelve when she first discovered she was Grisha. Little things started… happening. Things she didn’t mean. Or at least, they started happening much more frequently than usual. It wasn’t until then that Stephen Olsen had taken his daughter by the hand, and told her the truth.

Maya hadn’t cried, when she learned her mother had been Grisha. Had been killed for it. She didn’t know how to mourn a woman she’d never met. But she cried when she learnt that they had burned her.

“You told me she was with Djel,” she’d said, “That she died in childbirth and you buried her, to take root,”

Her father had looked down.

“Because I cannot think of the alternative,”

“Is that what will happen to me?”

He had wrapped his arms around her.

“Never,” he’d whispered, “I would fight a thousand armies before they reached you, little wolf,”

Her father hadn’t known that she was Grisha, he told her, or he would have got her out sooner. It didn’t occur to Maya, at 12 and in what was soon to become a perpetual state of fright and shock, to ask why her mother hadn’t been able to get out. To ask the entire circumstances of her loss. The next thing she knew they were making plans. They moved to Ketterdam, and the world ended before her eyes. 

That fucking ledger had set the wreckage on fire.

Maya tried to imagine the feeling of her father’s arms around her shoulders. She was his little wolf, and Djel had given her a gift to make him proud. But it was an untouchable memory, sinking beneath the waves just out of reach, tangled and bleeding and mixed up with the messy scrawl that set the last thing she clung to ablaze. 

Maya had left Inej telling herself that the ledger was a lie, but if that was true then why was she still thinking about it? Like the words were scarring her. Like they were smoke and she was choking on them.

The world was buzzing from a great distance. 

Maya didn’t know what she was doing.

She could feel the shadows of Aimee and Kiada’s hands throbbing across her own. It wasn’t quite pain, but it was excruciating. She heard everything muffled through a barrier of rushing blood, her head spinning and her stomach threatening to empty its contents into the canal. Real pain split her shoulder, pain worth feeling, piercing through the din of everything else. The kind of pain that meant you were alive. Her vision blurred, just for a moment.

Maya was realising what she’d done.

Kiada was on her knees, holding herself up with shaking arms. She looked at Maya like a rabbit staring down the barrel of a gun. There was a graze on her cheek. Maya felt herself choke, stumbling backwards and shaking her head.

“I don’t-”

The girls looked at her in silence.

Djel, what had she done? She was meant to protect them. She was meant to be brave for them. She wanted to be brave for them. 

“No, I didn’t - I -”

She stumbled a little as she stepped backwards, and she saw Aimee inch towards her before freezing in place. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, the words scratching her throat, “Oh, Djel, Kiada I’m so sorry. I didn’t…”

She couldn’t breathe.

“I…” 

She was choking on the smoke. She was burning.

What had she done?

“Maya?” said Aimee, looking between her and Kiada

Maya realised dimly that Aimee didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she was safe to help Kiada.

Maya had done that too.

She’d made her afraid.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m sorry,”

Aimee helped Kiada to her feet.

“Do you want to go?” she asked, staring at them, “You can. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t - I’m so sorry,”

“We need help, Maya,” said Aimee, moments before Maya thought the silence would become too much, “We have to go back. She said if you went back she’d help you,”

She shook her head.

“I can’t,”

“Inej did nothing to you,”

Maya’s shoulder screamed its disagreement, but she knew that wasn’t what Aimee meant. Still, she didn’t know that she believed it. If she was supposed to believe that her father had… no. One page of a gambling parlour record wasn’t going to cut it. She needed proof. There had to be someone she could make pay. She needed it, before it ate her alive.

And even if Kaz Brekker wasn’t to blame for this sickness inside Maya, his death would pay for Celina’s. Wonderful, wonderful Celina, dreaming of going home. Dreaming of the ice and the semla from the bakeries and her mother doing her hair for a village dance. Maya had seen the Reaper’s Barge only a few times; even from the shore the flames were high and bright enough to be visible. She imagined Celina, 6 slashes on her throat, a tulip on her cheek, lying at a broken angle with pale, twisted limbs tangled amongst a thousand others. She imagined the flames swallowing her, her glassy eyes still staring to the very last moment. Still full of their fear. Their guilt. Their blame. What happened to eyes, when they burned? Maya didn’t know. In her head they remained the longest, watching everything else burn away, and then they melted. Slow and grotesque.

She hoped that was what would happen to Yennefer. Maybe it already had. Maya thought of Yen's blood on her hands, congealing slowly beneath her fingernails. She'd wanted to be sickened by it, but she hadn't. She'd felt empowered - she'd felt high. She wanted to feel like that again.

Yen was to blame for Celina's death, and she'd got what she deserved. But Kaz Brekker was responsible for it as well. He would pay the price.

Kiada stood in dazed silence, half leaning on tiny little Aimee for support. 

“You shouldn’t trust her,” she told them, “She lied to us,”

Aimee’s little face was hard. Her arm hooked around Kiada’s waist to hold her up, and she reached to brush gravel off the graze blooming on the older girl's cheek. Even looking at it happen, Maya felt tension in her back and rushing all the way down her spine. She squared her shoulders. Holding Aimee through the makeshift blanket had been her limit - and she hadn’t managed that for long. The girl lifted her chin, a kind of shadow in her eyes that should not have belonged to a child so young. 

“She didn’t hurt us,”

That was all Aimee said before she turned away.

[punch-love]

hello !! i hope you are well !! ive been curious about something for a tiny bit now, with works like Love Punch that you don’t have quite the same spark for, how does it feel immediately after uploading a chapter? is it like submitting homework? do you feel more energized or tired? do you wait for comments or just put everything down and go do something else?

I was just talking about this with a friend. I don't think uploading any piece of work feels like submitting homework. It's always exhilarating to put something out there that you've worked hard on. I think....it's not as fun to work on something that you don't have quite the same spark for, but the act of sharing it always going to be really fun for me. I know that my readers have to wait months between updates so the first flood of "I was so excited to read this after work!" or "I can't believe this updated!" comments is always so heartwarming. Just because I don't enjoy writing it as much as I used to, my initial feelings toward the reception of it is always going to be very positive.

You'd be hard-pressed to find a writer who isn't anxiously checking their in-box for new comments to see how someone receives something they've worked so hard on. That being said, I absolutely dread getting new comments on OLD chapters. I feel like the patience I had with bad takes or "update when?" (which was nearly non-existence already lol) now makes me occasionally considering comment locking it until it updates. I don't care what people have to say on them anymore unless what they have to say is interesting or thoughtful. I also mostly get the same "this was so good. update this immediately." and it drives me up the wall + makes me want to work on it less. Seriously. If you want someone to do the opposite of what you want, comment ‘update when’ and see what happens.

Here's the thing though - positive attention is a drug like nothing else. It doesn't matter where it comes from or how you get it, if I worked hard on something that I think is good and people are engaging with it I'm pretty happy no matter how much of a spark I have. The actual process of writing is significantly more difficult now that I have less interest (it is very hard to write a romance when you're like I don't know if these people should be together. actually - uh - ) and it does feel like the boulder I have chained myself to until I roll it up fourteen more hills but -

The day I upload is always going to be serotonin city. I prepared this stupidly difficult and purposefully delicious meal for you I am so excited to hear how much you enjoyed it.

[technicallyaminecraftsimp]

The only thing worse than having to write about a book you don’t understand is not being able to rightfully describe what you understand about the book

[myteastainedpages]

hello tumblr people who read books originally written in languages other than english, i have a request

i have to write a book review for my reading in translation module at the end of november and i’m trying to find a book to use for it. i’ve not (to my knowledge) read any books that have been translated to english from another language - besides one i also read in its original spanish but i don’t wanna use that for this - so i have literally no ideas.

basically i’m looking for book recs, it’s a translation to english i’ll need to use but if you don’t know whether it’s been translated that’s fine i can easily find out myself :) thank you to anyone who helps! <3

[oblivions-dawn]

OOOO i love when ppl talk about their fics 👀 consider this ask an excuse to ramble as much as you want!!

[HEAVY BREATHING]

AN OPPORTUNITY TO CONVERT ANOTHER . . . EXCELLENT.

Ahem! Right. So! The Threads of Blood is my pride and joy. It consists of Petrichor and Breathless, the former which is complete and the latter which is the sequel that is currently being written. It explores unhealed trauma, how humans can be worse than real monsters, grey moralities and villains, overcoming the deepest fears, giving fate the middle finger, vampires, and blood blood blood. [That last thing is VERY important.]

To simplify: enemies to lovers, starring our beloved Serana Volkihar, and perhaps the most hated character: my very own Vigdis. Splatter it with slow burn and some more blood and that's just the surface of my fanfiction.

I could've gone the easy route; friends to lovers, kissing at the end, the protagonist being nice. But I said: Nay! I have found love in monsters, in the greyest human moralities, in traumatised characters deserving just as much love as the unscathed, in slow burns and lesbians and ruthless badasses. No, they still haven't kissed, and I'm happy [and evil] to report that such an action has consequences. Because it wouldn't be Senu if it wasn't evil.

Not sure if any of that is your cup of tea--and it's fantastic even if it isn't! But I'm so very in love with Serana, who just wants Vigdis to see her and let her in, and also Vigdis, who can't run forever even if she doesn't care what kind of monster she's become to survive the life she's been given.

I do have many other original characters in the universe--many of whom who have made appearances throughout both fics! I have a post about them somewhere . . . but anyway, I'm always happy to receive questions on my characters and fanfiction because I. Love rambling HEHE. Thank you for allowing me this silly post and I hope you [and anyone else reading this] have a wonderful day ❤

[phagodyke]

after I've worked thru my current library stack I think im gonna reread tlt for the millionth time. bc I deserve it <3

[auslanderka]

all I can say is I am really happy to meet him

[running-in-the-dark]

the most infuriating thing in a book is when there's someone who's constantly lying about things they said to the main character, things that happened and stuff like that, and it causes problems. and yet the main character doesn't at any point think to use their fucking smartphone (that they definitely own because it has been mentioned several times) to record any conversations they have.

like I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. at least write in a reason why they can't do that (phone is broken and they can't get a new one for some reason, the other person keeps surprising them in some way that makes it impossible to start recording, they can't find their phone because the other person hid it, etc.) or that the recordings are gone when they want to use them as proof (phone gets destroyed later, other person deletes recordings, etc.) or literally any reason why they don't think to do it.

security cameras are also a thing that I'm pretty sure everyone knows you can just buy for your own home at this point. they're not expensive. they're not hard to get.

honestly if this happens for let's say the fifth time and it's causing you massive problems, maybe... just maybe... you're a bit of an idiot for not at least trying to get some sort of proof.

[orcelito]

Finished rereading ITNL chapter 5 (and also the 4 before it again, but i already made posts about those so im not posting that again 😂😂)

I think that scene with Julie is one of my favorite scenes I've written. Just like. Period. It's quiet. Unremarkable. Just a blip in time for these two people, who have lives entirely separate from one another. But in this, they understand each other. Commiserating about similar losses. Similar grief. Barely saying anything about who they each loss, but they still Understand. But Vash also realizing that it's pointless to try to fill the hole in his heart from grief with people who remind him of Wolfwood. Because they're never going to Be him.

Just. Really makes ya think. I do wanna try to find some way to have Julie show up again. Probably after Vash is traveling with Wolfwood. I just think it'd be neat for them to see each other & recognize how far they've both come. It'd be a while tho. But im thinking about it.

Also!!! Chica!!!!!! Chica the tomas I love you so much. I still find it funny that I accidentally named her Chica. But I cant imagine her any other way, now. Chica the tomas i shall enjoy having you here for the next however many chapters ❤️❤️❤️ you are the heart and spirit of early ITNL for real

[cheritzssebba]

Secret Ending Three Chapter Ten: Still Famous

It's kind of hard to write in Red's point of view.... I feel like maybe he doesn't think in words but rather feelings. And they're rather hard to write down into words for me. So it's pretty difficult trying to write from his thoughts

Also his speech pattern is a little bit difficult for me to get the hang of

Let's see where Lance got off to then shall we?

When I leave the classroom, I linger in the doorway for more than a moment. It's not that likely she might lose her memories or get confused while I'm not there again...but was it ever likely that it would even happen in the first place? She knows that I'll be here though, and I'm only a phone call away if she needs me.

Maybe she'll be okay. I can't shake off the instinct to sit down outside the classroom, so I'm still standing there hesitating when I hear the footsteps of someone coming this way, stopping right behind me.

"Oh! Um, uh... Uh- hi." It's just a small girl with long black hair that her face hides behind and her fingers brush through desperately, as desperate as can be.

She's a girl I think I've seen before, but only out the corner of my eye. And I'd have to say that today is the day I found out she could actually speak.

Oh, but I might look pretty weird just standing here holding onto the door handle like this- "Oh- um, sorry. I was just leaving."

And I awkwardly remove myself from the door and step back- right into the poor girl. "Oh-! Sorry!" "Ahh!! Uh, sorry!! I'll just-" And we step again, out of the way, once more into each other... "Um, s-sorry. Uhh..." "Ah, no, I'm sorry, it's okay-"

I'm really really really really really not proud of this weird awkward dance we end up doing. When I try to step out of her way to the right, so does she, and when I go to the left, she does too... Um...

"Ah, you know what-" I sigh. "It's easier like this." I just take hold of the girl's arms and guide her gently to the side while I finally escape the awkward dance.

"Mission accomplished! You may now proceed!" I beam with a big thumbs up. Fantastic job, me! "Ah, haha..." Is it too warm in here? Her cheeks are a bit pink... "Th-thanks... Ah... I mean, sorry...." She stops twisting her hair around her fingers to return my thumbs up. Nice!

That felt super awkward...but oh well. Onward...

I turn the corner but then I stop... What's she even doing? That's not her classroom, she's a senior. And she's probably not in the student government and coming to speak to Lance, since she looks a bit too quiet to be in such a demanding role, so... Why?

Could it be that she's like those girls who hurt the Heroine..? What does she want to do to her..?

I have to make sure it's okay... With all the stealth and subtlety I can manage, I hide in the next corridor and listen out for what she's got planned.

She's quiet, that's what I learn. And that's probably the word that would describe her entire personality. Pacing back and forth. She's not entering the classroom but she's not leaving either.

She hesitates for a long time, a lot longer than I had stood there. And she finally takes a deep breath before finally opening the door with a knock.

It's nothing bad, right? It can't be. I've never seen her hanging out with the girls that hurt the Heroine and she just looks so...innocent.

Looks can be deceiving. That's what Tei said. If he was here, he might know. I trace the dust patterns in the wall's brickwork as she and Lance stand there in the hallway together. They don't know I'm here.

"Okay, so-" she cuts herself off with another breath. And then another. She puts her fingers back to work in her hair and I can just about see through it that she's staring down at the floor as she speaks.

"Is this really important?" "I just- Can I- Please-?"

Lance rolls his eyes.

"So...I've been thinking about this for a while. And I went back and forth on whether I should say anything. And I wasn't going to for a long time. But..." She pushed the hair out from above her eyes and she looked at Lance right in the face.

"'Cause it's New Years, I really wanted to change and be more confident. So I decided I should say something.

"It's not every day that you run into a situation like this. And since no one else has said anything about it yet, I might be the only one who noticed."

"So Lance." She pauses again, like she's psyching herself up for something big. "I don't really know how to explain it, 'cause it's a bit crazy but.

"Is this you?"

Damn it, I can't see from here. What's she showing him on her phone?? And from this angle, I'm facing Lance's back, so I can't see how he's reacting either.

But what he says... "I... I...don't know what you mean." I've never heard him so speechless... Damn it, what is it!!

"I know this does sound really crazy, I know. 'Cause it still doesn't make sense. But I don't think it's just a coincidence. 'Cause it's the same for the rest of the HOT5 too, they're all here... Apart from Red."

Apart from me? Why me?

"I... What are you trying to say? It's...just a doll. It cannot be anything more than a coincidence."

Oh my god............. Oh my god???? Is she..????//?

"But it's more than just appearance though. It's not just looks, it's personality and skills. You're plain, Yeonho has that 'maternal instinct' thing, Mr Yuri is a musician and Tei is like an older brother." "That's..." "So it can't be coincidence. I have a Lance doll myself, so when I first heard of you, I got reminded of my own doll at home. But then I saw you and the others too and I couldn't help but connect he dots... Or rather, connect the dolls? Haha-"

"Who else knows about this?" "What? Oh, I haven't told anyone. It's just me... But does that mean you want to keep it a secret if you're asking that?" Damn, she's good... She was so quiet before but won't even stutter now that she's opened up.

"So...what is it? You are him, right? The Lance from Crobidoll? You look exactly like him..." "Uh... Well... I just..." "So is it like you're just pretending to be him or you are him? It's really weird if you found out about him when you learned Korean and then tried to model all your behaviour and personality off of him to fit in, but somehow it's slightly less weird if you've just always been him and one day became human, especially since the company wouldn't be that well known outside of Korea. So which is it?" "..."

Lance is completely silent... I don't blame him though. We never decided what to do in this kind of situation. What the hell would I do in his place..? And hell, what are the odds that I specifically would actually end up in that situation?

"No one would believe the latter. They'd say you were insane," he ended up saying. "But again though. Why would you say that if it weren't true?" "Uh-!" "So you're saying it's true that you're all dolls that came to life..?"

Hmm...

"... Still. It's not like it's believable. Even if it were true, does it...matter?" Lance... I'm a bit disappointed. Of course it does. "Of course it matters!" Yeah. "Oh- Sorry..." She seems to slink back into herself, embarrassed. "Sometimes I get excited about things... I'm so sorry."

Lance sighs and tries to go back into the classroom. "Well don't get too excited about it. It's not even something I can explain anyway." But it's impossible for him to do that when she's hanging onto his sleeves and asking him so many questions.

"But what's it like to be a doll? And why are you a human now? Did Crobidoll do it or do you have an owner? Did they do it? How?

"Is it more like a conspircy theory about the company that they're experimenting in the nature of souls and stuff and they're trying to artificially create people to combat the plummeting fertility rates, or possibly to quickly create a plastic army to save the human race from the alien invaders?

"Or is it more like something completely irrelevant to the company and whatever owner you have is some sort of scientist, possibly experimenting in the world of cloning and AI and they wanna create an artificial intelligence with the personality and looks of high school boys with Crobidoll dolls as the template for each boy, and they put you in a high school as a turing test to prove how believable your coding is?"

... Uh...

"..................... Wh-... What?"

"I mean, the latter does explain a lot. But if it was some kind of experiment, you'd have to be monitored, right? By your owner, right?" "Well-" "Then your owner must be someone who attends Crobi Academy!"

Oh no...

"Oh. Uh. N-no. That's..." "They'd have to be someone who no one would actually suspect, who'd be in your classes with you and be able to interact with you through all times of the day..."

Her hair fell back onto her face again and her chin fit neatly into her hand. Clearly lost in thought.

But eventually she'll figure it out. She got this far at least. I don't know how. I don't know what she showed Lance. But she must know that we're dolls.

On it's own, that's not that bad. But if she's going to figure out that the Heroine is our owner... I can't just stand by and watch.

I have to do something.

"Actually..." I have to save her. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation." I won't let her get hurt again. "Sorry for eavesdropping."

"Red??" Lance looks at me as I march over to him. How is he pissed off at me again when I'm trying to save everyone??" "Uh- oh! Um. Th-this... This is just...a joke, haha." The girl is running her fingers through her hair again. "I mean, even if this stuff was true, you wouldn't believe me anyway, so it doesn't matter, haha..."

"No. It's true. Because it's me. I'm Lance's owner. Please don't bother him or anyone else about this anymore. It's me who knows everything. It's true, I never told anyone because it's just not something that people would believe.

"So I'm sorry for lying. But please don't bother my...dolls...about this anymore. They just wanna live life normally as regular people, okay?"

"...................... What the fuck, Red??" "What?? It's not like you were doing any better, Lance, I actually-"

"Oh.

"My.

"GOD.

"No way no way no way!!!!!" The girl jumps up and down and claps her hands together. And...her excited smile is so big and genuine I...can't help but smile back. "I was right!! I was right I was right I was right, no way!!!"

"You have to tell me everything!!!" "Okay! Uh but first, what's your name?"

"Oh! Hahaha, I'm so sorry," she nervously stops herself again, facepalming at herself. "I should've probably opened with that, I'm sorry.

"Um, it's really nice to formally meet you. I'm Deosuni."

So that's the story of how I saved the day again!

How many insults is Lance gonna throw at me for this? What will happen next with Deosuni? How many more lies are we going to tell?

Tune in next time to find out!

Real Weeaboo-boo ass situation

[feckless-youth]

i will finish this fucking chapter this week no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. BY GOD I WILL FINISH THIS CHAPTER THIS WEEK NO MATTER WHAT

[aughtpunk]

That Time a Published Author Told Me to Un-Queer My Novel

So, I don't think I ever shared this story on Tumblr before.

As you may know I've spent the past ten years turning my old Welcome to Night Vale fanfic into a stand alone novel called Echo of the Larkspur. Now, I haven't been working on it ten years straight. I'd pick it up, do a bunch of editing and rewriting, submit it to agents/publishers, get turned down, put the book away, wait 2-3 years, dust off the book, re-edit and rewrite, etc etc. A cycle that repeated itself far too many times that I would like.

Well, during one of these cycles when I was in the 'get rejected by every agent and publisher I submit to' stage I asked the writing group I was in what I was doing wrong. Because at this point I had reached a hundred total rejections and I was starting to suspect that the issue was with me.

One of the members of this writing group, a male author who was traditionally published, offered to read my first chapter and give his advice on how to fix it. This was, in retrospect, a mistake. But I was desperate. I sent him the first chapter and waited for his response.

Folks. The email he sent me changed my life.

First he said that agents wouldn't publish my novel because it was Sci-fi with hardcore gay erotica in it. This is curious because while the book certainly is queer, at no point in the conversation with this man did I say it was hardcore erotica. Nor did the first chapter feature any. It's almost as if he assumed that just because something was gay, it had to be hardcore erotica. Interesting.

He went on to say that a Human/Robot pairing was weird and that there was "No Way" my story could seriously address the issues of a relationship like that. Once again, he only read the first chapter. He just...assumed I wouldn't think of that? And that my book wouldn't cover it?

The author then said “I also felt that the LGBTQ inclusion really seems to cloud things.” Direct Quote.

And then this is when he said my favorite quote of them all:

The idea of a book being a sci-fi with romance AND a mystery is a Modern Art Marzipan Owl. It's just too confusing! No one can handle a story that is a mystery in a sci-fi enviroment AND has a romantic subplot! THEIR BRAINS WOULD LITERALLY EXPLODE!

Thankfully he had a solution to my book problem. His answer? Turn the book into an Action Spy Thriller and turn S.A.G.E., a robot that identies as a gay man, into a sexy lady robot who needs a MAN to teach her what it means to be human.

(I assume the male lead will teach the 'confused' female robot how to be human via his penis.)

Now my favorite part about this advice is that at no point did he outright say "Remove the gay part". No, instead he sneakily changed the robot love interest into a female robot as if I wouldn't notice. Just sort of swept away the gay bits as something totally unneeded and just mucking up the narrative. Also that's not the plot of my story, I have no idea where this virus thing came from.

(Also note that the female robot can't be robotic-like at all. Must preserve the average straight-man sex drive at all costs I guess)

He then finished his email basically saying that I should remove everything that 'traditional publishers' don't like (aka the queer parts) and make it easier for 'your average reader' to digest and my book will be good as published!

When I said this email changed my life I meant it. Because it made me realize I'd rather be self published and unknown than traditionally publish milquetoast trash like he suggested. Like holy fuck. If I removed all of the "Difficult" to digest stories out of Echo of the Larkspur then there wouldn't be a book left!

So here I am. Self publishing my Marzipan Modern Art Owl of a book. I know it'll never see the inside of a bookstore or top the charts on Goodreads but hey, I'd rather it speak to one person than have a thousand people get excited for the part where the male lead teaches the lady robot how to be human (via his penis).

If a Queer Sci-fi/Romance/Mystery novel sounds like your jam then consider preordering it!

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[gentleladyproject]

the chapter ACCOMPLISHMENTS from THE LADIES' BOOK OF ETIQUETTE, AND MANUAL OF POLITENESS Florence Hartley lists several skills and interests becoming for a young lady who is already well-educated. these accomplishments serve to impress others and delight oneself. she suggests to strive for the following ✧ conversing well, which is aided by a deep knowledge of literature ✧ music, played on an instrument and accompanied by singing (she explicitly recommends easier pieces for the less experienced in the company of others) ✧ drawing, sculpture and similar arts ✧ riding elegantly ✧ speaking french, german, and italian, as well as spanish ✧ dancing all fashionable dances ✧ reading out loud and reciting well ✧ arranging tableaux vivants ✧ crochet, knitting, tapestry work, embroidery, bead work, and many more