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#this episode is a lot to process
aprilblossomgirl · 2 years
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The Eclipse | Ep. 11.1 (AkkAyan)
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mayasaura · 16 days
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It really dawned on me watching episode 17, just how important this sequence of events is to Kabru and Laios' relationship, and how. Well. That's for a different post. I want to keep this one free of spoilers. (Certified Safe For Anime Only™)(There are spoilers for episode 17, tho. Obviously.)
Kabru's main concern has been, at least in part, revealed. He wants to figure out if Laios is capable of defeating the dungeon, and, if so, if Laios can be trusted with the power that might confer. The answer to his first question is simple. Yes. If anyone can defeat the dungeon, it's Laios.
The second question is where things get interesting. Can Laios be trusted with power?
In the aftermath of Laios' first fight with Toshiro, Kabru learns that while Laios has no particular respect for the law or conventional wisdom, he does have the humility to consider that his judgment might be flawed if he encounters conflict with someone he respects.
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That is the face of a man taking notes, and I think he's making a cautious mark in Laios' favor. Laios doesn't really understand Toshiro's opinion, but he's listening.
Then, in the fight with the Falin-Dragon chimera, Kabru voices dissent—disgust, even—with Laios and Marcille's priorities.
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You can practically see the Dragon Age style approval rating drop. Kabru disapproves. Minus fifteen hearts. If it had ended like this, I think Kabru would have lost all interest in Laios. Someone who would sacrifice a dozen lives out of sentiment can't be trusted.
Laios' response, and the way it builds on Kabru's earlier observation, is crucial.
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He listened. And even better, he didn't listen blindly. He applied critical thought to Kabru's argument. What Kabru hears from him isn't just "I'm sorry, you were right," but also, "I understand and respect your position and priorities, and here's a very good argument for why killing what I still consider to be my sister is not in our best interest."
He processed Kabru's criticism and came to his own conclusions, and he did it fast. Not only that, but he's right. Kabru hadn't considered the potential consequences of killing the chimera.
Laios proved in this one exchange that he 1) isn't blinded by either his pride or his prejudice, 2) has the strength of character to not just fall back and surrender to someone else's judgment when he's uncertain, and 3) is smart enough to tactically outhink Kabru.
This is why Kabru is so invested in Laios liking him that he forces himself to eat the harpy omlette. This is why Kabru takes Laios' hand and makes sure he knows he wants to see him again. He doesn't understand Laios, and he still has strong reservations about him. Laios' interest in monsters scares him. But Laios has proved to Kabru that he might be capable of being the person Kabru needs him to be.
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Top Ten Pictures Of The Moment He Won You Over (Taken Just Before Disaster).
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thousand-winters · 4 months
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Fascinated by people just getting into WTNV and asking if there is a list of episodes to listen to, omitting the "unimportant" stuff I assume.
Chill, you all. Night Vale has been ongoing for around 11 years and it's yet to show any sign that it intends to end any time soon, so you can take your time. Even if it ended soon, there is time.
Enjoy the episodes as they are. Chew on them.
WTNV does this very special thing of making the town feel alive, not every citizen gets an arc or even a spotlight, but they're constant, they're there, living their lives. Those little details, little mentions of everyone growing and continuing living as time pass make it feel so nice.
And then, one day, Night Vale surprises you, and, oh, hey, remember that one intern whose death wasn't confirmed? Well, he has come back, and if you remember him and remember what happened to him at the time, you'll be able to connect the dots of the current arc faster.
The MOST unexpected things come back. The town is alive.
Just enjoy the ride! Enjoy Cecil's voice. Enjoy listening about this friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep.
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lizluzz · 7 months
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Izzy really said queer spirit will outlast empires, I'm so emotional
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tangledinredstring · 1 month
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It's reaction time!
Eugenia IS still the rogue teacher! But a ghost! Ohhh, the GHOST STEAK!!!!! She's been THERE. THE WHOLE. TIME!!!!!!!!
2. I KNEW IT! Jace, you shady motherfucker, I knew you were up to shit.
3. When I saw the title Dawn of Justice, I was really worried about Bobby Dawn's rise to power, but it was Fig! Being epic as usual. Probably not what they were doing, but in my mind, I like the use of my assumption that Dawn meant Bobby/Helio, and they turned it into Rebellion/Ankarna. Feels right.
4. It is going so well for my guys. I know that this expulsion/Last Stand thing was a piece of BS, but I have every confidence in them being able to come out on top.
5. I NEEED to get better at my art. I want to do Ankarna better, and a matching Cassandra, and now I want to draw Gorgug in his full battle harness gear.
Edited to add can't believe I forgot - 6. Stamp Tricks.
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the-words-we-sung · 2 months
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Season 3 ending
So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.
It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)
I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.
I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.
Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).
(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')
And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)
And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><
So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.
It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.
But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^
So see you back here very soon 😘
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beaulesbian · 1 year
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Trigun Stampede s01 || Vash + the reflection on his glasses
(edit: added one i missed)
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( @crazymadredfox​ thank you for the mention of this part!)
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kaythefloppa · 7 days
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Enough time has passed to where I think we can openly admit how WK has gone through seasonal rot within its previous 2 seasons and how the hype of Season 7 along with the generally positive reception is a really green flag for the show's quality.
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jovibee · 2 years
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I know this is probably the fiftieth “wow mob really has grown over the seasons with handling his emotions” post but the fact that mob was able to cry and mourn over dimple properly without it involving his percentage is something you couldn’t get in a previous season. Yes the scene was emotionally devastating, but in a weird way it’s nice for him to just be able to get a good cry out and not bottle that emotion for his next 100%.
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amelikos · 25 days
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Liko, who gives and gives until there is nothing left VS Sango, who takes and takes until there is nothing left.
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danothan · 6 months
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tough pill i have to swallow is realizing that “getting better” doesn’t mean “getting to do more things,” getting better for me means taking better initiative in protecting myself. and THAT means making sure i do LESS things
#sounds kinda obvious but i only just realized it lmao#feels like i have to grieve a lot of my goals now but no one said the healing process would be easy#danbles#and for anyone else that has a disability that prevents them from doing smth#or trauma that makes certain triggers limit their opportunities#or neurotypes that make it harder for them to love smth like they used to#or whatever else#i don’t want to make it sound like you have to give up on the things that make you happy#I’M certainly not going to#but a huge value of mine has always been experiencing everything life had to offer#and everytime that backfires (whether it’s burnout; triggering a flashback; triggering an episode; putting strain on my body; etc)#i always just thought to myself ‘it was bad timing’ or ‘i haven’t gotten better yet’ bc the endgoal was to always get to that point where#i could experience it. i want to try new things all the time. i want to feel normal and be included in everything#but if smth keeps Making Me Feel Bad then maybe there isn’t a version of myself that can take it on#it’s not resilience to put yourself in harm’s way#idk how well i’ll be able to put this into practice tbh. i rly rly like exploring different experiences#even negative ones are valuable to me#but the least i can do for myself is recognize that i might not always be the problem#maybe i’ve already hit the limit on all the self-work i can do. maybe it’s the environment or situation itself that’s the problem#fuuck guys ​i feel like i’m going thru a stage of grief here why is this shit so hard 💀
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inconmess · 14 days
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So... definitely spoilers under this cut cuz holy shit the episode went all ways fucked today! But...
First things first, loved the ruthlessness of the Spider Queen and the gods kinda opening a channel of communication as to why they are insisting so much about champions and the urgency (especially the Matron and SQ)
That was a whole lot of physical, mental and emotional damage thrown all the fuck around so I go character by character
Morrighan, known the Crown Keepers for the shortest time and yet, the way she goes to preserve Opal's memories and her hesitation to leave but still knowing that she needs to go and giving Opal a promise to save her memories
Fy'ra accepting the Wildmother's call, jumping in on the Spider meeting because she cannot lose another sister, no matter what and just also watches as Dorian, Dariax and Morrighan leave, probably not knowing what motivated them to.
Cyrus was just in the sidelines. He didn't have to die 😭😭😭😭
Opal. Poor Opal. She didn't really know what was really at stake and now she has a corrupted memory or two, lost her Original name, her childhood and TED! And important info about her mother too, all due to the lack of communication between the SQ and her regarding the stakes.
And my god, Dorian and Dariax! I don't even know who to start with because they both took damage in a different yet equal level here?
I mean, I guess I will start with Dorian cuz... well, he lost his fucking brother and the way he couldn't even approach him one last time due to Opal's suggestion to find Orym? Not even allowed to process what happened, grieve and one of the last fucking things he did was not to talk to Cyrus but hit him in an attempt to save him and hear his screams and howls of pain? Wondering how much you ever knew your brother and now the responsibility that was upon his shoulders fall onto you? The Spider Queen taunting at your helplessness and just the cold ass way of just turning her own against her in some sort of a revenge? (a badass move by the way, "Kill your Mother") Going on a revenge spree. being lost and without purpose only to reunite with Bells Hells, another group of fucked up people after you leave Dariax. WHO SPECIFICALLY WAS FOLLOWING YOU??? BECAUSE HE WAS ALSO LOST ON HIS OWN??
And Dariax man. He was just asked by Opal to find Orym and so he goes, not understanding why they weren't going with him, not really understanding what happened to Cyrus initially and later on it just... hits him when the compulsion wears off and the betrayal he doesn't focus on because he follows Dorian and is worried about Dorian only for Dorian to leave him with his fucking lute in a, technically, unknown area? Now that's like two betrayals to process unless Dorian makes a fucking attempt to meet back up with Dariax again real soon cuz I swear to god you are just putting the sweetest person who just wants to support everyone down the deep end real quick cuz his sole purpose was to support Opal and she doesn't want him and now he follows Dorian and he also leaves him and I DON'T WANT THIS MUCH EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE ON DARIAX! I LOVED THE HIMBO THAT HE IS! OBSERVER LEAD HIM BACK TO DORIAN AND MAKE HIM WHACK HIM OVER HIS HEAD WITH THE LUTE! KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO THE GENASI FOR ME! I want Dariax to meet Orym and the Hells and the meeting should be in the most unbelievable way and- (starts an idea for a fic)
(I mean, narratively I get it, Matt can't DM and play a PC character but really, leaving him cold shouldered like that? Come on man! I understand the motivation characterwise too but really??)
And don't get me started with the reunion. I am glad Dorian asked Keyleth for some support, man I really do. But the way the reunion was going on, I think they are really skipping over some of the serious stuff in an attempt to catch up (which, realistically is going to be a mess because it is a lot to catch up tbh) but the way some of the stuff which could've been talked a little bit more about but bottled up is like... a lot. And I want those conversations so bad. I want Dorian to sit down and tell Orym and Fearne about what exactly went down. I want the Hells to properly talk about Thull. I want them to lay everything out in the open. The Deals. The risks.
I said it once and I say it again. I want the fucking Bells Hells to play a game of What the Fuck is Up with That under a Zone of Truth and talk about every single fucking thing for a really long time and I need proper conversations. I really do. And I want them to stop avoiding stuff.
And my man Dorian. Get Dariax back. You can't give me a joking "bonus action, Double Ds kiss" and immediately abandon him in Zephrah. You cannot do it to my poor heart. Not after all the elder sibling feels I am going through. I am sorry but you cannot.
I am going to miss the Crown Keepers a lot man. I am going to miss them a lot. They were my intro to CR and it is so fucking emotional to see them disband like this in a heartbreaking manner.
Thank you @quidde for this lovely story you gave us with all the silliness and all the heartbreak 🥺🥺🥺
I think I am going to catch some sleep rn even tho it is the afternoon. After a conversation with my teacher which I totally forgot about shit.
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trashlie · 1 month
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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thestarfilledsea · 1 year
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I had this idea way back and seeing the latest art you did made me remember it xD
i imagine he probably had random emotional moments when sleepy
SCREAMS AND CRIES AND EATS YOUR ART
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he’s working on it
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jamiesfootball · 1 year
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I knew the forgiveness line was gonna split the audience, because it gets touted out in a lot of dramas (usually without the hours of therapy and explaining it deserves). And yes, Ted did make the (important) distinction of it not being for Jamie’s dad but it being for him-
-but I also appreciate that it was front loaded with his mom reassuring Jamie that he shouldn’t feel like he owes anything to that man, that his dad has always been a toerag, and that jamie doesn’t have to feel guilty about anything that happens. Because that part’s important too.
I wanted James Tartt as far the fuck away from Jamie as possible. He’s in rehab, and he hasn’t spoken to Jamie in over a year. Good enough. (I would have preferred prison but fine, away. Fuck that man)
Jamie is… soft now. He’s allowed to be soft. And even though he doesn’t want his dad back, even though he is clearly still struggling to process Wembley (and fuck that hurts too), he wants to know where he stands with Freddy Krueger and his hands full of knives.
Forgiveness is not an invitation for the people that hurt you to return; it’s a cessation of the arms you held up for years waiting for them to come back and hurt you again. It’s not forgetting; it’s accepting that something awful happened and that being angry won’t undo the fact that it happened.
It doesn’t make what happened to Jamie okay. And it doesn’t mean he’s expected to brush it off and move on like nothing happened. And it definitely does not mean he owes the man a cent of his time. But he owes it to himself to not carry his anger for that angry man like it’s the only guiding torch he’s got. And he’s got plenty of people in his corner now, who are gonna help him and protect him if that text doesn’t work out. So yeah, let him lay down his weapons against his dad. Let him rest. Let him find out what happened to the monster under the bed. And then let him move on, with the people who love him.
Also something something the only way to defeat Freddy Krueger is to wake up from your nightmares. James Tartt was his fucking nightmare. 4 am is when you’re weakest. Roy Kent is training him in the middle of the night when he’s weakest. 4 am is the best time to beat bullies with ropes dipped in red paint. Jamie can feel safe, because his sadist mentor coach BFF- you all know where I’m going with this
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demonzoro · 5 months
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i finally got around to watching trigun stampede! visually it was gorgeous. however, a lot of the emotional beats felt like i missed a step in actually attaching to the character/setting. many times i got the feeling like i should've been emotionally invested but wasn't. the irreconcilable siblingship was fun though i enjoyed the irreconcilable siblingship
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