#this goes in the main tags cause I am very proud of this

[ava-does-dumbassery]

I’m more than halfway through my Middle Egyptian textbook, which means I know know more than one and a half languages, and now I can understand one of clauses in the Kahun fragment completely (unless I learn about constructions later that would look like exactly like the constructions I think these are and also work, in which case egg on my face for getting too confident).

(This isn’t one of the parts where Set says horny things. I’m pretty sure it’s one of the parts where Isis gives Horus advice. Sorry. I am aware that figuring out if Set is a bisexual icon or not is the only we’re all here /joke.)

Anyway so there’s this part, right here in the fragment:

And (nerd words incoming, you don’t really need to care about this part, the point is that I can explain how all the pieces of it fit together without being confused about anything and I’m very proud of that): nn (those shrugging arms and the jagged line beneath them) and rdit (the mouth, the arm, and that semicircle) are a negated infinite verb construction (“without [verb]ing”), and mA (the sickle, the eye, and the vulture) is probably a prospective form that’s acting as the direct object of rdit, since there’s only one vulture it in instead of two and the word after it, st (that folded linen glyph and that other semicircle) doesn’t make sense as the next word if it’s an infinitive and Ra (other mouth above arm, as well as the sun, the vertical stroke, and that bird perched on a stick) is also part of the sentence.

ANYWAY it should mean “without causing that Ra should see it,” or in a way that makes more sense to say in English “without letting Ra see it.” (The Latin translation just uses the word “sun” instead of Ra’s name, but capitalized, which makes sense because “Ra” and “sun” are literally the same word in Egyptian. I’m not sure which word is better here. Maybe the English connotations of just “sun” are better, the Contendings version of this myth makes a big deal about whether there’s daylight out or not when everything happens.)

Anyway, I feel pretty confident about this one part now, hoorayyyyyy progress! and hopefully I’ll be clearer on the rest of it soon.

[blurbry]

Rambles

Rambling Day 1:    AO3 WARNING!!!! LONG POST AHEAD!            FIRST BULLET POINT!: I have a Pseud now. For when I have the feeling or need to write *EHEM* fics. However I Most likely won’t go into too much detail as said things actually make me flushed sometimes.(While I’m Not repulsed or uncomfortable talking about it or writing about it, I just thought I’d touch on the fact that I’m still experimenting with sexuality and am not too sure if I’m actually asexual or not.) A small warning, It may contain oc x character shippings, not just head-cannoned shippings.  I will most likely not post them Publicly as most of them would be physically for me to reread and improve my writing skills, rather than to cause discourse with one who may be Uncomfortably settled with such a subject.  Even if I do Post them Publicly on tumblr, They’ll be tagged Respectively and placed on a Main blog and art blog separate blog. still so the tag can be blocked and ignored. Tumblr added nsfw Content filters for the reasons sole for you to be able to browse your content without being hit in the face with a discomforting subject.   SECOND BULLET POINT!: I’m rewriting all my old fics.  Those of you who followed my AO3, whether you ended up there through lost in dysphoria, or perhaps you were there from my very first fic Broken Glass Shattered Spirits, You’ll notice they’ve all been deleted (except for the ones I’m particularly proud of.) This is because I’m freshly applying a new coat of paint!!  Rather than a baby tiny 1000 word fic, There will be more words, more filler text to make it more interesting. More Development in situations rather than a Rushed feeling of Needing to get this out. While doin so will take me a few months, due to having the most ADHD brain in my family, I assure you when a project has been begun it hasn’t been forgotten, it’s just been pressed aside for a later date. All I ask is Im not rushed or demanded to write faster, because that’s what leads to my sloppy 1000 word writing. Schedule for writings:    Begin Lost Family Au Writing and Master Explanation. Lost Family: An Au I Made which is a Link Separate Au. All the links have tragic Life stories about Siblings or parents or how their lifestyles effect them, Leading up to the events of the Four swords being pulled, and the four meeting each other. IN this AU, the swords are four elemental blades locked deep within Temple systems, that each of the four are called to pull when the time is right.  Begin Raptured Hyrule: Raptured Hyrule is another AU I began working on in 2021 with my friends, and finally decided to publicize in 2022. This AU is if darkness was never fended, and in a way, if Zelda was corrupted by dark cloud rather than killed. It’s very angsty........     Rewrite dancing in the starlight(bluexErune) so its less short and develops more to the relationships. Dancing Scene will still apply.     Rewrite Bluebird(Blue x Vio) Blue at war, Vio is a damsel in distress waiting for him to come home, only having letters and little embroideries and crochet projects to litter the house with.     Rewrite Broken Glass Shattered spirit.(Vidow) Vio is ignoring Shadow for deep studies, Shadow goes off to find something interesting to do and has a run in with a few threatening old friends. Rewrite Angels Flying High, Originally this fic was a RedxShadow Pure angst where Red Died, and Shadow destroyed the mirror a second time just so he could get that final ounce of happiness with him. However, I’m going to change its full aspect and Make it Angel!Red Au. It will still be Shadow x Red. Rewrite Sunsets and Lavender tea (Blue x Shadow) Poor Blue is suffering nightmarish trauma from being frozen alive and Shadow is there to help *cool~* his spirits (I’ll go back in the bad berry corner again) Rewrite Darkness Within: Green/Red Corruptive AU. At a last ditch effort to save the dying light that Red brought to the world, Green performs a dangerous and irrational ritual which results in Red becoming a creature of darkness. At first Red is weary, and its oh so torturous trying to tango with such a creature when He can only come out during the hours that one needs to sleep, but its so worth it when people suddenly become less afraid of Shadow because of Red’s doings. (Look lorulians can be nice people too, don’t fight me ) Rewrite: Everything is okay (Vidow Angst) Vio sustains injuries on the battle field by a mob of Moblins, Blue took his eyes of his back for only a second, only to turn and watch him be run through with a lizzal spear. Blue has a panic attack, He promised Shadow he’d make sure vio came home unharmed.. Vio almost dies, but miraculously was saved by a fairy and a very, Very upset travelling shadow.  These will not be redone in the exact ordering of this post.    

[tatelauritzen62]

Bag Heaven

Since my preliminary LV purchase, I’ve actually ordered another bag and I can tell you I’m simply as satisfied as before. These guys have restored my faith within the replica enterprise and I can not recommend them sufficient. If you've any questions please feel free to go away them in the feedback beneath! Here are the first causes I am glad with my LV bag! All merchandise are shipped worldwide with tracking offering prime carriers. Another thing to look at is the central stitching on the back of the coach. The stitching goes deeper on the genuine pairs, and the lateral stitching is of noticeably higher quality. There are many replicas of the Balenciaga Speed Trainer but fortunately there are a couple of methods to establish them. At the inside the bag has one zipper pocket and two open pockets. The zipper pull is marked with Louis Vuitton on each side written all around an imaginary circle. Also, at the within the bag there are two tags. The first one is the main brown leather tag warmth embossed with the circled “R” adopted by “LOUIS VUITTON” on a row and “PARIS” on the subsequent row. The leather-based patch is stitched up in a light beige color. Even when the purse is completely empty, it's going to stand tall by itself. Also, the leather-based has a very discrete shine and this shine is visible solely when brilliant mild falls over it. We are completely proud and assured of the inside and outside designs of our replica Louis Vuitton bags. In truth, should you look on our web site, we post tons of various pictures that show the interior and exterior design of the bag. And then the four digit numbers are the date stamp. Search the Internet for pictures of fakes versus pictures of the actual thing. You can easily inform a fake Louis Vuitton bag from an authentic one from the shade of the trim. The genuine ones will run nearer to burgundy while counterfeits will normally be a brighter shade of purple. In fact, the artisans behind authentic luggage are so expert that the number of stitches on one deal with matches the other. A pioneer in monogram bags, Louis Vuitton has produced numerous handcrafted purses that women and men alike covet. They are light-weight, comfy, and give you the space and compartments you want for all of your things. When you see the long-lasting LV brand on a Louis Vuitton handbag, you are immediately swept right into a world of luxurious. Hey Mia, Most of the brand new replica bags have this particular smell. wikipedia wallets I just go away it to hold exterior for a couple of days and the smell goes away. Hey Pat, I would order as a result of I already obtained a number of luggage from them and the quality is nice. The quality is rather like the genuine and the scale is correct. I bought the MM and measured it, and it’s good. As far as I know, Bags Vista sells high quality luggage. We want to earn your small business if you’re shopping for your first LOUIS VUITTON replica or fake GUCCI product – but much more, we wish to keep your corporation for years. But before I give you the secret sauce, let me offer you some important information first. When you might be on the lookout for super fakes or another sort of luxurious replicas, know what to look for. This is why a lot of people women purchase rubbish fake purses all the time. Your definition of a replica handbag must be all about excessive-end imitations or “tremendous fakes.” https://re-pin.me/wallet-purse-replica.html Nothing else would do. This web site is unbelievable as a result of it features some of the best quality replica trend equipment you can find wherever on this planet. Looking nearer on the text you will note that the letters are very clearly stamped into the tag with out being bolded. The second tag is produced from a textile fabric and it says “LV” circled all around adopted by “made in U.S.A” on a row and “of imported supplies” on the subsequent row. The color of this tag is mild brown and there aren't any visible stitches. Both sides of the bag are identical featuring the same brown shade monogram sample and floral motifs. All monograms are very delicate and positioned in the exact same position, evenly spaced aside. The Louis Vuitton Artsy MM is made from a very light and firm kind of leather-based with a flat end. It feels very clean and delicate, but has a really stiff texture.

[bluebellhairpin]

( Notice: OKAY - The pic there says ‘The Hobbit/LOTR’ but for times sake, and my own sanity, there is none listed thus-far (same goes for the ‘other’ category’). Merci for understanding! )

So I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, and I already have a blog for it ( @nemosrepost ) but that doesn’t get too much attention. Thus, here we are! 

(This was a nightmare to get done - it took weeks to get all the links and pics done up in my spare time - I hope you appreciate that.) 

They’re all sorts here, from Medieval Marvel AU’S, to Modern Attack on Titan one shots. They’re all organised via fandom, and I’ve tried my best to link and tag everything properly, but that is a difficult feat, so beware - for some it may not have worked too well.

Like my *actual* masterlist, this will be updated regularly with new fic recs, and even new characters and fandoms as I read them. All fic’s currently listed (as of November 26, 2020) are found on my reblog account. 

I’ve also tried to add in a ‘recommendation summary’ thing of each - so basically just my thoughts on the fic(s). But anyway, have fun browsing, and overall - enjoy! 

(AND also - LMAOOOO - Have fun scrolling lololololol!) - Nemo

( Pre - Warning: I am not tagging anything as NSWF, 18+, or triggering content. However some fics listed do contain such material. Please refer to the warnings or Authors Notes on each Fic before reading. Stay safe guys! I love you! ) 

Bluebellhairpin’s Masterlist 

Bucky Barnes

Knight in Rusty Armour - Medieval / A/B/O AU! Series - by @revengingbarnes Honestly I binged the first eight chapters (+ prologue) in close to one sitting. That was mostly because that was all that was published at the time. It is completed now. I love both these AU’s, and I love Bucky - win, win! 

Flowers Bloom - Soulmate AU! Series - by revengingbarnes  Another great series, and honestly I’m a slut for soulmate au’s, so this author might be coming after my heart - keep up that good work, if you know what I mean. 

The Great Build Up - Modern / Firefighter Au! One Shot - by @thottybarnes  This ones goes from cute, to hot and steamy, to angsty, and back to cute again. A one shot rollercoaster, and I thoroughly enjoyed every word of it. 

Maybe This Time - Mob Au! One Shot - by @propertyofpoeandbucky Okay, so if there’s one thing I like more than an mobster au, it’s adding children into the mix. Something about big bad guys going all soft for this tiny human - and then making them - and that’s called perfection. 

Whatever It Takes - Biker AU! One Shot - by @sgtjbuccky He like’s to be loud, so what. He rides a bike, so what. I what to ride him and his bike, so what. 

(Un-Named) - One Shot - by @softlybarnes  I’ve never liked Bucky’s metal arm more in my entire life. Using it for a baby going through teething? A+ idea. 

Hero, Waiting - Medieval AU! One Shot -  by captain-ariel-barnes Sadly, this fic is unavailable now, and that - obviously - makes me sad. But I’m adding it her anyway because of how much I adored it. The love triangle between Bucky, Reader, and Steve was amazing, and the feelings? Phenomenal. 

Steve Rogers

If Walls Could Talk - One Shot - by propertyofpoeandbucky  I’ll recreate my original comment on this fic - ‘Ouch’. And that’s all I have to say about that. 

The End of the War - College AU! One Shot - by @redgillan There’s nothing quite like a enemies to lovers trope that’s well-written. But then throw in fight club, a jerk date, ice-cream and pizza - just read it. You’ll understand then. 

The Edge of the Water - Mermaid AU! Series - @floatingpetals I have to admit now, I haven’t read all of this yet. But I also have to say, what I have read was fantastic. Mermaids - and Mermen - they just hit different, you know? 

Pseudo Princess - Medieval AU! Series - by @shreddedparchment​ To date, it’s one of the best fics - nay - stories I’ve ever read. I’d dare to say it’s easily the length of a novel, so if you’re up for the long haul, I’d definitely recommend it. It’s worth the wait - trust me. Op obviously put a hella lot of work into it, and it shows. 

Loki Laufeyson

Loki’s Happy Ending - Series (?) - by @gingerwritess  Listen, I have been and forever will be a Loki girl. Nothing will change that. And every scrap of content Theo produces for Loki I will cradle in my palms and keep warm until they’re ready to go out into the world or whatever - point is, read this. 

Just One Quick Glance - One Shot - by @imagines-trashcan  After watching ‘Endgame’, and squealing at every moment Loki appeared on screen, only to not have him show up in the final battle - this was one of my comfort fics. 

thunderstorms. - One Shot - by @tarynkauai Naturally, Loki’s child would inherit his unease of thunderstorms. And naturally, seeing Loki as a dad makes me happy. 

Stitches - One Shot - by @lokibug​  Loki being nice. I like that. We stan. 

Quentin Beck 

The Curveball - One Shot - by @healingchurch​  Listen, this is on here for a reason. I didn’t really like Mysterio ‘cause of what he did to Peter, but hey, some people are good actors, and some write characters acting very well. 

Stephen Strange 

(Un-Named) - Imagine / One Shot - by @archieimagines​ A cocky bastard and a shy Reader, as far as I’m concerned that a one-way ticket straight to my heart. *wink wonk*.

(Un-Named) - One Shot - by @whirlybirbs​  Honestly, there are multiple fics of hers on this list, and that’s because she’s a damn fine writer, and her stories are just that addictive. This one is no different. I was preparing to read more and then it ended. But all good things, right?

Crash and Burn - One Shot - by @lilyswritings​  The angst, and the angst. I cry, you cry, everyone cries. Unfortunately there is only the one part, but much to my personal joy that means I can interpret the after-ending however I want! 

Frank Castle

(Un-Named) - One Shot - by @alexsunmners​ This is just cute okay? I have no other words except this was plain and simply very, very, very nice to read, and that it makes me feel very soft right here on the inside. 

Peter Parker

Super Smooth Genius - One Shot (?) - by whirlybirbs  Back at it again with the cute, awkward, friendly, neighbourhood, Peter Parker. 

Just Don’t - Soulmate AU! One Shot - by @papel-creativo​ What’d I tell you about soulmate au’s? I can’t resist them. And of course Pete being a caring bf with his hero s/o. So nice. 

Ronan the Accuser 

Make You Proud - One Shot - by @kayleighhalliday2203​ This is justifiable because I was going through a Lee Pace faze and I found it and loved it immediately. 

Ultron

(Un-Named) - One Shot / Series - by @snarky-badger​ This I can also justify having read, because (and if you know me then you know) the robot thing ... Doesn’t bother me as much as it should. And I binged all of it on ao3, so. 

Poe Dameron

(Un-Named) - Masterlist - by propertyofpoeandbucky Okay, I know there’s a lot on this list, and it could take you a while to get through it all, but trust me - it’s worth it. Lani likes Poe, and it shows. He’s written so well. 

Dashing - One Shot / Series ? - by whirlybirbs Birbs does it again. She’s got Punchy!Reader, and if there were a legal way to get all of this Poe thing down into a written book, I’d do it. 

You Can See Me? - Modern / Ghost AU! One Shot - by @tintinwrites​ I just this this one’s really cool. And what Poe does for the reader at the end? So sweet! He would totally do that! 

Across the Hall - Modern / Nurse AU! Series - by @starryeyedstories​  It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s got tension, and a little drama - plus a smidge of angst and Corgi!BB-8. If perfection were ever made into a Modern/Nurse au Poe fic - this would be it. 

Deepest, Lightest Secrets - One Shot - by @writefightandflightclub​  It’s got the humour and overall feel  you’d expect to come from something Star Wars related - honestly I had so much fun reading it, and I’ll happily do it again. 

Levi Ackerman

Names for Him & You - One Shot - by @commanderserwin​ Again, op is one of my main sources for fic’s in this area - so there could be quite a few of them listed here. But this one? Cute as heck. 

Levi’s Secret - Modern AU! One Shot - by @theamberwriter​ This one was damn funny in my opinion. Nothing can ever be hidden from Hange for long. 

You Look So Beautiful In White - Modern AU! One Shot - by @alrightberries​ This fic, it carved out my heart, diced it, shoved it in a blender, then made it into an atomic bomb. I - I was not okay. That amount of angst shouldn’t be allowed. Read it. 

Abeille - Modern / Mafia AU! Series - by @ackermans-freedom-inc​ Honestly, this isn’t finished yet but, honestly, I’m not ready for it to finish. The heartache. The betrayal. The child. I can’t even. 

Lights - Modern AU! One Shot - by commanderserwin This was the first fic I ever read of op’s, and I couldn’t believe what I read so I went back and read it again. I can’t tell you how much I love it, or how I feel about it, so just go read for yourself and you’ll know. 

To Build a Home - Modern AU! Series - by @vennilavee​ If you’re a fan of Levi, you must go read this. It’s so detailed, and just so perfect - whenever a new part comes out I have a quick reboot before going to read it. 

Erwin Smith

One of Us - Modern AU! Miniseries - by commanderserwin I’m not going to lie, this one is here because I requested it, but also because I really liked it, and cried while reading it. So there. 

Reiner Braun

Service to the Crown - Medieval AU! Miniseries - by @present-mel​ It should probably be illegal to write Reiner or Medieval au’s this well, and yet here op is writing both. Like, McScuse me, where do you acquire such talent and can I have some? 

Toshinori Yagi

Flirting with All Might - One Shot - by @lemonlordleah-shinzawa-kitten​ Toshi. The great. The hero. The awkward. He’s a blond boy doing what blond boys do even if he’s a little older he’s still part of the crew.

Stitches - Villain AU / Mini Series - by @itsallmightbitch​  Okay, so I said above that I wouldn’t put warnings on these - but this time I have to. Nothing I’ve read in my whole life emmits such an amount of pure horniness - and I love it. 

Godless - Fantasy AU / One Shot - by @pleasantanathema​  Another ‘All Smite’ fic, yes, I know. But god. They’re so good. This one is another real horny one, so if you can’t tell there is a slight theme running here. And - sksksksks - this is actually from the same ‘general area’ as the Reiner fic listed above (Service to the Crown). There was a event. I read everything. 

Keigo Takami

Preening - One Shot - by @shoutaaizawas​ Literally the softest and cutest damned thing I’ve read for Keigo. No, I’m not just ‘saying’ that, it’s genuine. The feelings I get - or lack thereof due to them turning to mush - it too much for words. Honest. 

Seasonal Special - One Shot - by @keiqos​ I’ll say this now and I’ll say it first - any Hawks fics written by op are *chefs kiss*. They’re amazing. Secondly, rut!Hawks is my weakness - this fic is one of such weaknesses. 

Shouto Aizawa

(Un-Named) - Series - by @theamberwriter​ This is *technically* the second part in the series, but it’s the only part I’ve read and goddamnit, I’m in love. Hubby Aizawa. The disappearing Baby-Zawa. 

I Miss You Texts - SMAU - Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou, Nishinoya Yuu - by @briswriting​ I miss them too. They ain’t dead. I just feel like I haven’t seen them in so long.  

Little Things - Headcanons - Karasuno - by @haikyuudreaming​ Every single one makes me feel so nostalgic, and I feel so much longing. I love. I loose. I pine. I want. And yet I cannot have. I only dream.  

Cheerleader - Headcanons - Karasuno - by @imagine-101​  I want to be their cheerleader. Now I am able to be. Op, many thanks for the feeding. 

Tsukishima Kei

Cherry Wine - Single Parent AU! Series - by @bakugou-jpg​  I’m gonna head out and say that Tsukki was my first favourite Haikyuu character - then I ‘character developed’ but that only went so far as to give me more favorites. But deadass - read this and you won't regret it. 

Ukai Keishin

(Un-Named) - Ballroom/Latin Dancer AU! Headcanons - by @imagine-that-haikyuu​  I know nothing about dancing. Or ballroom dancing. But I do know I’d love to dance with Ukai. So how’s that for ‘middle ground’? 

[kae-karo]

fic writer interview!

i saw @prince-liest do this and thus i will take ur 'tagging anyone who wants to do this' seriously lmaoooo (also hi btw hope ur well!!! 💜💜)

How many works do you have on AO3?

ahaha,,,,,159 lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

fdsjkkjlsfdklj as of today, 2,089,769

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

only three fsdjkldslfkj the phandom (dan&phil), bnha, and genshin!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

chosen (x) - zhongchi (genshin)

to love (and be loved in return) (x) - kaeluc (genshin)

little bird (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

feet don't touch the ground (x) - xiaoven (genshin)

i knew you were fire (x) - dabihawks (bnha)

honestly none of that surprises me except that little bird is still up there, although i think i owe that to sif (@the-final-sif) for sharing it around the time it got posted since it was partly inspired by her raptor stress grip post!!

the rest are all chaptered fics, which is mostly what i expected to be in the top 5 lmao

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes!!! always!!!! no matter what u comment, i will respond!!! and if i don't, it's probably cause ao3 didn't notify me properly or i didn't see it in my inbox or something

as for why, it's mostly to do with like...i know how hard it can be for some people to comment, even just a bunch of heart emojis or a 'i loved this!' or something short and simple? and it means a lot to me that ppl are going out of their way to say something nice, no matter how small, and it's really really important to me to acknowledge that

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

hmm,,,,,this is a hard one, cause for a very long time, my policy was that my fic would always have a happy ending? and for a long time, that was true!! but the dabihawks interaction (during the raid) broke me, and from an emotional standpoint, i think freeing icarus (x) is probably the one that has the angstiest ending of the two or so that i wrote in that time?

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

u know i really haven't written any crossovers? it's normally not my thing cause my brain typically focuses on a single thing and doesn't really have the capacity to think about more than that, so i end up writing just au-style or fusion-style (shoutout to that one bnha but it was scooby doo fic i wrote - x)

i don't think i'd be opposed to writing a crossover but i'd have to be SUPER inspired by the idea and both fandoms lmao

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha yes, i have. the only straight up hate i've received was on a kaeluc fic (surprisingly not because it was kaeluc, but bc i was 'mistreating' kaeya in the fic) - to be entirely fair, the commenter pointed out something that i hadn't realized myself, and it led to a second piece of the story that helped me tie up some loose ends, but...let's just say they weren't very kind about their feelings lmao

other than that, i had someone very upset because i didn't tag which character was bottoming in a fic (valid if that bugs u!) and they read through most of it before getting to the smut (and said that they enjoyed everything up to that point) then said they were 'disgusted' by it. i have opinions on that and a few other comments they made, but i will keep them to myself lmao

and beyond that, just a few ppl on my xiaoven fic saying that they were unhappy about the background kaeluc (which is tagged lmao) - really no hate whatsoever til genshin, honestly, which is...very hmmmm :) lmao

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yep!!! mostly vanilla or vanilla-adjacent lmao i'm not super into heavy kink, although i know if epi reads this she's gonna call me out for being a monsterfucker bc of my dragon!zhongli smut :) lmaoooo but really i tend to write pretty vanilla smut! i also prefer to avoid any noncon/dubcon or hate sex or anything particularly angsty, just not my jam to write!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

hmm i don't think so? although i don't heavily monitor ao3 (or wattpad/ffn), so i can't really say that for sure lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! i've had a few fics translated to russian (little bird is one of them!) which is very sweet and i hope that anyone who prefers to read in russian has been enjoying those fics!!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

alksdfjklsdf only once, and it's deadass how me and rose got together. we decided to co-write a podcast au fic for the phandom (x) and ended up flirting via google docs asldkfjkldsfj

What’s your all time favourite ship?

what a horrible question, making me choose between my children like this!!!! sdlfkjdskf tbh i'm not sure i have a real answer bc it changes as i go? and 'favorite' is so vague,,,,,favorite to read? to write about? to think about? asdklfjkjsdfk i really don't know if i have an answer, but i'll maybe say kaeluc for now lmao

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

well first and foremost, with only 2 exceptions, i never post a fic unless it's done. i tend to follow wherever my passion leads my brain, so i'm notorious for jumping around between stories and taking breaks from long fic and returning later on to finish them, and i know that i would not do well under the pressure of posting something unfinished and trying to finish it in a timely manner

that said, many wips sit in my google doc folder, but one is Well Known as the one that has followed me through both the phandom and bnha (rose keeps asking who i'm gonna switch the chars to in genshin, but i think it suits bakudeku too well to do that) - only the lonely survive. it sits at like 36k in my wip folder, and i adore the story dearly and i want very much to finish it, but it never makes it quite to the forefront of my motivation, and so it rarely if ever gets worked on...i hate the idea of 'never' finishing it, but it's unfortunately quite likely that i won't 😭😭😭

What are your writing strengths?

emotion!!! and immersion!!! it's my goal in a fic to make it as immersive as possible and saturated with emotion to help convey that feeling of being in the place of the pov character, and i think i do it pretty well. also just bc i feel a little obligated to say it - another strength is actually sitting down and putting words down. i know that's a struggle for a lot of writers and i often get,,,,lovingly bullied? i guess? lmao for being able to bash out a few k in a day most days

What are your writing weaknesses?

this isn't so much a weakness i guess but i am basically incapable of treating crack fic as crack. if i have a cracky idea, it will, without a doubt, end up turning into a Perfectly Serious fic somehow (notable 'crack treated so seriously that it's no longer crack' fics include: todoroki doing the freeze-the-ocean thing from frozen 2, 'shmigaraki', todo and denki get together bc of vine references, the league sells feet pics, shiggy and natsu own a nightclub/bakery, scooby doo but make it bnha, and dabi getting his ears pierced at claire's)

but in all seriousness, i think my main weakness is that i often get comfortable? and i'm not one to typically push myself forcefully out of my comfort zone when it comes to stories that i come up with on my own, which often means that ideas inspired by discussions with others are what prompt me to branch out and try new things?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i think, like anything, it has its place? there are certainly stories where it makes sense to do that and even adds depth to a story, although i personally am not exceptionally comfortable enough with other languages (except maybe asl) to do that in fic myself without the assistance of someone very comfortable with that language lmao

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the phandom! not really my jam to write rpf anymore but it definitely got me started and i'm really grateful for my time writing there, as everyone was super supportive and kind, and it was really a perfect place for a beginner to get comfortable and practice

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

again, forcing me to choose between my children...i really don't know that i can pick one fic bc they all exist in such wildly different spaces? i poured my worldbuilding soul into the king of disaster series (mainly dabihawks - x), exile (dan and phil - x) was my first massively long fic, our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn't have to bear alone (chayea - x) is probably my favorite character/character dynamic study, i'm exceptionally proud of the smut in chosen (zhongchi - x), the list goes on and on and on lmao like. i could probably list half my fics as favorites in some regard dsflkjdfsjkl

anyway, tyty bellamy for putting this on my dash so i could do it as well!!

tagging: literally anyone who wants to do this, i have so many writer friends slkdjfjklsdf but please please tag me if u do it so i can read urs!!! 💜💜💜

[daydreamingatnight209]

Guys it’s honestly so warm where I am and my god I never wanted it to rain so bad 😩

Anywho this was requested and kinda went a little antsy but it’s fluffy to!

Hope you like it, feedback is always welcome! 💕✨

“Remember the Rule”

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Warnings- Angst but fluffy ending 💞

———————————

Your parents always wished the best for you. Always pushing you to go harder, do better and exceed at everything. To always be at the top of your game, the best at everything.

It wore you down often,but you always wanted them to be proud.

They weren’t happy when you told them you wanted to join the Behavioural analysis Unit of the FBI in Quantico, Virginia. It was your dream and it was the one thing you wouldn’t let them control. Eventually they agreed but there was certain rules you had to follow. Not dating co-workers was the main one.

At first you didn’t see the problem with that. You’d always been work driven. You would work and grow that’s all.

That was your mindset set right up until your very first day and you set your eyes on SSA. Dr. Spencer Reid.

He was a god in your eyes. Smart and sexy. Yes, this man had it all, the whole package.

No. You couldn’t get distracted, you told yourself. Remember the rule.

For months that is the one sentence you repeated over and over.

Remember the rule.

You did and it was agony. Each day that passed and this crush you had on the Doctor increased to the point where you thought it might be love.

It didn’t help that you both created a flirty relationship and you knew nothing could come of it. He would buy you your morning coffee, comfort you after every case and even invite you out to see his foreign films- giving you a translation along the way.

This went on for an entire year until a certain point in time changed everything.

—————————

It started out as regular Tuesday, you and the team were in the middle of working a case, not far from the office when your parents decided to drop in for a visit.

You were grateful that the case served as a distraction but weren’t happy that they used that time attempting to profile you, specifically the way you acted around your male team members.

You did your best to avoid them but pretty sure they caught up with you and begun grilling you for Information.

You didn’t even bother to answer their begging questions and walk away. You were happy to find that the team has caught a lead that may shut the case and put the killer away for life.

You expected it to be a simple catch, not a full blown shoot out; yet that is exactly what it turned out to be, with major consequences.

You were surround by gun fire, trying your best to take down the unsub and his minions without getting hit yourself. Bullets were flying and you couldn’t see where half were coming from.

You felt your life flash before your eyes as you were suddenly pulled to the ground with immediate force.

Spencer had saved your life, he had taken a bullet for you.

Rushing you gain awareness of your senses, you crawl over to Spencer and put pressure on his wound.

The bullet was lodged into his neck...

“Medic, we need a medic! Anyone please” you scream, your lungs burning and fear rising in you.

Luckily you made it to the hospital in time but it was still touch and go with Spencer.

Your parents met you there, fussing about how something like this could happen to their child. They ramble about how reckless the teams movements were out on the field.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Shut up, just shut up!” You explode, shocking your parents. They open their mouths to protest and most likely scowl you for causing a scene but wouldn’t let him.

“There is a man,a good man laying on that table right now and you have the audacity to call him, to call this team reckless?! He saved my life! He is the reason I am standing here right now and not chancing it out the table. How is that not food enough for you?”

You cry out in despair.

“I love him and I am so sick and tired of you dictating my life! I’m not a teenager anymore. I’m a grown ass adult and if I want to be with him, I will be”

You whisper out the last part, your voice breaking as the tears fall unapologetically down your face.

You rush outside in need of some air, ignoring the shocked and dazed looks on your parents. You felt so vulnerable, you had never showed so much sadness and anger in front of anyone before.

Two hours pass before you get any news but the wait seemed to be worth it as the doctor returned to you and the group with a large smile on his face, most likely showing his own relief.

He was going to be okay.

Your vision goes blurry, your breathing heavy as you collapse onto the cold hospital with happiness. You stay there for a moment before Morgan helps you back up, pulling you into a well needed hug.

“I can see him, please?”

The doctor gives you a gentle nod of approval and you waste no time going to his side.

He was just awaking as you said in the seat opposite his bed and he offers you up a weak smile.

You take his hand, hesitantly and place a soft kiss on the back of it.

“Don’t never scare me like ever again, do you hear me doctor?”

You spend hours by his side, scared to leave even when he had fallen into a light sleep. You took in every single feature of his, refusing to ever forget him.

You didn’t hear your parents at the doors of his room but you felt their presence.

You look back and see that you they give you a slight nod, both of them holding sad smiles. You hand one back, understanding.

Spencer had gotten their approval and they realised that it wasn’t a bad thing to let you grow and be happy the way you want to be.

“To new beginnings” you told yourself.

Tag List- @purple-scarf-mistress @ladydansblanche

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Three

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven,

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 4.2k+

Warnings: Feels! I definitely got feels writing this!

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor (Eventual), Alex Danvers x Kelly OlsenIn 

This Part: It’s the Christmas concert!

As always B!D is named.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @thewitchandtheassassin , @natasha-danvers , @life-is-hella-unfair , @finleyfray​, @supergirl-writingz​

Emma Danvers paces back and forth backstage. Her blonde, wavy hair was down with loads of volume. Her long, glittery, white gold dress swishing against the floor as she paced. Emma was slightly worried about the very deep plunging neckline but her stylist managed to find material that matched her skin tone to accomplish the allusion. They understood why Emma didn’t want to show lots of skin, especially as kids were watching. But they believe that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. And Emma definitely had it.

Emma takes a deep breath as she can hear the audience beginning to enter the huge theatre and her nerves start shooting all over the place. The rehearsals have gone the best they could with only five days to practice. But, Emma still worries she could have done more.

“There you are!” Emma turns around and smiles at Karen, the choir leader and director. A grey haired, black woman, who was ready to put Emma in her place if she became a diva. But to her surprise, Emma Danvers is anything but. “Everyone is in the rehearsal room. Do you want to warm up with us?”

“I’d love to!” Emma says eagerly and follows Karen, placing a hand on her shoulder. “How is everyone feeling?”

“Nervous, excited, scared, joyful, wanting to throw up every minute!” Karen laughs loudly and Emma smiles as she hears the choir’s nervous chatter inside the rehearsal room.

“Basically how I’m feeling all in one!” Emma jokes as they stand outside the door.

“Ready?” Karen asks.

“You bet.” Emma nods and Karen opens the door to thunderous applause. Emma goes in after her and joins the cheering and foot stamping. After a few minutes of getting everyone pumped Karen holds up her hands and instantly everyone quietens down. They do fifteen of vocal and physical warm ups and Emma can’t help but feel a bit sad at knowing after the concert she won’t be working with the choir again. Not until her new album at least. Having already planned some songs she could do with the choir.

“Fifteen minutes everyone!” The stage manager calls from the door.

Nerves instantly flood Emma again and she bites the inside of her lip. She watches Karen hold up her hands and the excited chatter dies down.

‘She holds such power and authority!’ Emma thinks admiringly.

“I’m not going to say much. Just that I am very proud of each and every one of you. Your commitment over the past few days has been phenomenal-”

Emma nods and claps her hands lightly around the group. Many make eye contact with her and smile brightly.

“- and all I ask is that you enjoy yourselves out there tonight. Sing your hearts out and let’s show the world what Kingdom Choir can do!”

Everyone applauds and Karen looks to Emma, tilting her head asking if she wants to say something. Emma smiles and nods. Karen lifts her hands again and everyone stands to attention.

“I just wanted to say a huge, big, thank you to all of you. When I was told that the previous act had pulled out, you guys instantly came to my mind and I’m so glad Karen said yes!” Emma reaches out and places a hand on Karen’s shoulder. Who covers Emma’s hand with her own.

“Now, I know some of y’all were a bit sceptical when y’all heard y’all’d be singing with me.” Emma puts on an over the top country twang, causing a few giggles and agreements. She switches back to her normal voice. “But thank you for giving me the chance to show you what I can do. This has truly been a wonderful experience and I’m going to really treasure it as I move into the next part of this journey.” Emma smiles around at the group before continuing.

“The profits from the seats and those paying to view this online have gone way past the expectation. Meaning even more money towards the equipment needed for the children’s hospital and really that is the main reason we are here. To help those in need, to show compassion and to hold out a hand. So, as Karen has said, just sing your hearts out.” The group applaud loudly and stomp their feet, ready to go out onto the stage and give the performance of their lives.

Emma turns and leads the group out. She plays with her hands as she mentally prepares herself to become Emma the singer.

“Here you are!” A sound technician hands Emma her microphone. The curtain was still down and would be raised as the show begins.

“Thanks.” Emma waits by the wings and lets Karen and the choir go past her. She holds out her right hand and everyone high fives her as they get onto the stage.

The announcement comes over the speakers that the show is about to begin. The crowd cheers and Emma takes a deep breath as she steps onto the stage. She looks at the amazing decorations, a huge, decorated Christmas tree stands at the other end of the stage. Fairy lights are everywhere giving the huge stage a cosy and warm feel. She looks at the orchestra and the choir, giving them encouraging smiles. The countdown begins and the crowd joins in. Finally it reaches zero and the curtain slowly rises up.

‘Here we go!’ Emma thinks as ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ starts playing.

-- -- --

Kara can’t help but bounce up and down in excitement as the Superfriends wait for the concert to start. The atmosphere in the theatre is electric and buzzing. They are sitting near the front in the middle of the huge theatre.

“Kara!” Alex whispers to her sister. “Can you please stop bouncing?!”

Kara immediately stops and looks apologetically at the redhead. “Sorry Alex! I’m just so excited!”

“So am I! But you don’t see me bouncing up and down like a jack in the box!” Alex laughs and shakes her head.

“Kara?” Eliza says next to Lena, who is sitting next to Kara. Lena had offered to swap with Eliza so she could sit next to Kara, but Eliza refused. Stating she was happy where she is. Kara whips her head round to her adopted mother. “Have you remembered to put the dampers on?” Eliza says quietly, not wanting to be overhead. Kara nods and shows the light on the frame of her glasses. When it became clear Emma was going to be in a loud band, Eliza and Alex had worked on equipment for Kara to drown out a lot of the noise that would overwhelm her. That’s if Kara remembered to turn them on. At many gigs Alex would have to engage the device when she saw Kara flinching from over exposure.

Eliza smiles at her daughter and goes back to reading the programme. “I still can’t believe Emma managed to sort this out in so little time!” Eliza says to no one in particular. She wasn’t meant to be in National City for another few days but due to Emma performing she decided to change her plans and come a few days early.

Lena looks down at her own programme, the choice of songs showing a wide variety of hymns and modern songs. “Knowing Emma though, she can do anything she puts her mind to.”

“That is true.” Eliza smiles at the CEO. “Thank you for giving Emma this opportunity. She was so excited when she called about it.”

“I’m the one that should be thanking her!” Lena smiles brightly. “I still can’t believe the amount of people outside trying to buy tickets off us!”

“Yea!” Sam agrees next to Ruby, who is sat next to Eliza. “I had one guy offer me $10,000 for Ruby and my ticket!”

“$10,000?” Kara yells with wide eyes.

“Yea! Mom almost took it too!” Ruby grins as Sam playfully nudges her daughter. But before Sam can comment she’s interrupted by a voice over the speakers.

“Ladies and Gentlemen! The concert is about to start-” Kara cheers loudly along with most of the theatre. Lena claps and beams with her.

The twenty second countdown begins and all the Superfriends join in. Lena can practically feel herself vibrating with anticipation. As zero is displayed the curtain slowly ascends and Emma appears. Lena’s breath is immediately stolen as she takes her in. Her eyes roaming over the shiny, white gold ball gown.

“She looks so beautiful!” Kara whispers in Lena’s ear, who nods in agreement.

The song starts and Emma lifts the microphone to her lips.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

Whoops and cheers sound from the crowd as Emma’s strong, velvet voice sings out.

Pride fills the Superfriends immediately and Alex can’t help but tear up. Kara reaches down and takes a hold of her hand. They smile at each other and focus on their sister.

As the tempo picks up Emma and the choir start dancing. Everyone in the audience gets onto their feet clapping and dancing along.

Lena is blown away by Emma’s performance. How she seems to include everyone in the audience, from those right at the front to those in the balcony seats looking down.

Cause baby all I want for Christmas is You!

The crowd cheers when Emma hits the high note and continues to improvise with the choir.

-- -- --

All I want for Christmas.

As Emma finishes the last notes of the song the audience roars in applause. Emma bows her head for a moment in acknowledgement. Raising her head she puts the microphone to her lips.

“Thank you!” She says gratefully and the audience still cheers. “Thank you!” Emma can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the love she is receiving. She looks all around the theatre and to those in the ‘god seats’ high above her. “Thank you so much! Please take your seats.”

She walks to the grand piano and takes a sip of her water hidden from view. “Well, that went well.” Emma says into the microphone, causing the audience to laugh. “I must say you are all in fine voice tonight!” A few cheers call out. Emma swears she hears her sisters among them. “But, before we do any more songs, please put your hands together for Kingdom Choir and the wonderful National City orchestra!”

Emma turns to them and applauds. Careful not to whack her microphone. Not wanting to annoy the sound technician.

“Seriously these guys are superheroes. As you know, we haven’t had long to prepare this and the level of commitment and energy these guys have… It’s just been amazing.” Taking another sip of her water she places it back in its hiding spot and walks back to the centre of the stage.

“So, ready for another song?”

“YES!” The audience cheer loudly.

Emma nods at the conductor and the first notes of ‘O Holy Night’ start playing.

-- -- --

Lena is sure she is going to have goosebumps permanently on her skin for the rest of her life. The level of passion and power in Emma’s voice is breathtaking. Throughout the song it feels like a warmth Lena can’t describe fills the theatre. As if heaven had entered and the angels were singing along. Lena’s vision blurs and she blinks in surprise. Tears fall down her cheeks and she wipes them away with her finger. She sees Kara look over at her and they smile softly at each other. Kara wraps an arm around her best friend and they continue watching Emma.

As the song closes the applause is again deafening. Lena stands to her feet immediately, still wiping tears from her face.

“Thank you.” Emma’s voice is barely heard over the roar of the crowd. After a few minutes she motions with her hands for the audience to sit. Finally they do and Emma’s eyes lock with Lena’s for a moment and Lena gives her a tearful smile. Emma returns it, also focusing on her Mom, sisters and friends before looking around the theatre. “How about another fast one?”

-- -- --

The next few songs has everyone dancing on their feet and Emma dances along with them. Not wanting tonight to end.

“Wooo! Now that… That was fun!” Emma breathes out, trying to catch her breath. She laughs as the choir calls out in agreement. “Can you believe we are over halfway in our evening together?!”

“Noooo!!!” Emma laughs as she hears Kara yell loudly.

“But, if I may-” Emma takes another quick sip before putting the water down. “We all know why we are here tonight.” She walks slowly back to the centre of the stage. You could hear a pin drop. The theatre is so quiet as they watch her. “To support the utterly commendable work done at The Luthor Children’s Hospital. Now even though most of us haven’t used the service, and God forbid if you even need to. But, we all know the importance of our health and for our hospitals to have the best equipment and staff to continue serving our city.”

“I’ve gone to the hospital many times to visit the kids. Especially those who used their Make A Wish to meet me.” Emma smiles sadly, always remembering the little faces of joy as she’d enter the room. “And in the hospital, they have a wall, a special, in memoriam wall.” Taking a deep breath Emma swallows the emotion threatening to spill out. The amount of pictures she saw as she took the time to look over them. Such young children, taken far too soon.

“I’m reminded of the cold hard truth, that we don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. That we lose those we love along the way.” Emma takes another deep breath and looks up at the ceiling above her. Remembering her Dad. The one she remembers before he was taken and changed. The one she grieves. “And yes, Christmas is a joyous time, to celebrate and remember. But, if I may, I’d like to pay tribute to those no longer with us.”

Softly the piano starts playing and Emma pulls herself together to sing the song. On the screen behind her photos of the departed, sent in by the public, is shown.

The fire is burning, the room's all aglow  Outside the December wind blows Away in the distance The carollers sing in the snow.

The audience stays quiet as Emma gently sings.

She can’t help but remember the last Christmas with her Dad. How they played in the snow with her sisters and sat around a roaring fire once they changed out of their wet clothes. The feeling of sitting on her Dad’s lap and have him wrap his big arms around her.

Everybody's laughing The world is celebrating And everyone's so happy Except for me tonight.

Emma uses more of her support to increase the volume in her voice for the chorus. She tries to keep her eyes off the monitors showing the pictures of peoples loved ones.

Because I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

She makes it through the next few verses and chorus but feels she’s starting to break near the bridge. Knowing the next set of photos are of Jeremiah and her family. She had asked her Mom and sisters if it would be okay and they readily agreed. But, now Emma isn’t sure if it was the best idea.

In the springtime those memories start to fade with the April rain

A picture of a child Emma on top of Jeremiah’s shoulders is shown when they went on a long hike. A young Alex and Kara are standing either side of Jeremiah, they are all smiling brightly at the camera.

Through the summer days till autumn's leaves are gone

Another photo comes on showing Emma and Jeremiah asleep on the sofa. Emma is resting against her Dad’s chest and he has his arms around her.

I get by without you till the snow begins to fall.

The last picture of Emma and Jeremiah flash up, showing the family's last Christmas together. One where they are all sat around the table having their Christmas meal.

Emma closes her eyes for a moment, remembering that last Christmas so clearly. How she always struggled with Christmases after that. They were never the same.

When she opens her eyes to sing the last chorus tears stream down her face. Her voice cracks but she pushes through.

And then I miss you most at Christmas time And I can't get you, no, no, no, get you off my mind Every other season comes along and I'm all right

Emotion overtake Emma and a sob escapes her lips. She lowers the microphone slightly and drops her head. The orchestra pauses. A few people in the crowd cheer in support of Emma. Who takes a shuddering breath and lifts her head and microphone. Eyes full of tears.

But then I miss you, most at Christmas time.

When the piano finishes the last chords, Karen and a few other choir members race up to Emma and hold her in a group hug. The audience raises the roof in their cheers and there isn’t a dry eye to be seen.

Alex, Kara, Lena and Eliza also get into a group hug. Lena tries not to feel awkward in how she’s imposing on this family moment. But she had no choice when both blonde’s beside her pulled her into it. She keeps her eyes on Emma who is trying to compose herself. She watches as Karen places Emma’s face in her hands and gently wipes the tears away. Obviously saying something encouraging to the blonde who nods and smiles sadly.

Soon Karen and the choir members get back into position and Emma takes a deep breath. “Who's ready for some more dancing?”

The audience cheers and gets to their feet as ‘Underneath The Tree’ begins.

-- -- --

When the final note of the upbeat version of ‘Joy To The World’ finishes Emma curtsies low at the applauding crowd. She can’t quite believe the concert is over as it all feels like a blur now. Confetti shoots into the air and the audience whoop. Emma rises and holds her hand out to the orchestra who keeps playing the upbeat melody. The audience cheers and the conductor bows. Emma next holds her hand out to the light and sound technicians at the back. Finally she holds her hand out to the choir behind her and the rush towards her. Gathering round her and dancing to the beat. They all wave when the curtain starts to descend, cheering and clapping with all their might.

When the curtain stops moving, separating the audience from the stage, Emma takes a deep breath.

“Well done Emma.” Karen pulls her into a tight hug. “That went better then we rehearsed!”

“Always the way!” Emma laughs and Karen nods in agreement. They pull apart but Karen keeps her face near Emma’s ear to talk to her. The choir still cheering and clapping with the orchestra.

“What are your plans? We are thinking of going to a local bar.”

“Ah I have plans with my sisters and friends.”

“No worries, it was a last minute thing anyway.” Karen smiles at her before turning to her group and dances with them.

Emma watches them for a moment before heading to her dressing room. Her whole body is buzzing with adrenaline, which she knows won’t last forever. And when she crashes she wants to be sat on a sofa with a pizza on her lap.

But it takes her a while to get to said dressing room as many people backstage congratulate her. She thanks them and breathes a sigh of relief when she can close the door behind her.

She grabs her phone and smiles at the many messages from the Superfriends. Mainly from Kara who sends a load of different emojis to express how she’s feeling. She sees the message from her Mom saying she will see her tomorrow as she’s heading back to the hotel to rest. Emma sends her a quick response of understanding before opening the Superfriend’s group chat.

Emma: Thanks everyone! I’ll see you at Kara’s soon! Please order the pizza as I’m starving!

Alex: Do you want us to wait for you?

Emma: No you go on ahead. I won’t be long.

Emma quickly changes into her skinny jeans, tank top and red leather jacket, not bothering to take her makeup off yet. She packs her bags and zips the beautiful dress in its cover. Emma places it on the clothes rail outside her dressing room. She passes the rehearsal room and pokes her head in saying bye to Karen and the choir.

Exiting through the stage door into the garage Emma is surprised to see someone stood by the bug. She quickly approaches and smiles when she sees who it is. “Lena?”

The raven haired beauty looks up from her phone and the smile she gives Emma makes the blonde go weak at the knees.

“Hi.” Lena says softly before pulling Emma into a hug. “You… Em… I don’t have any words for how amazing you were tonight.”

“Thanks Lee.” Emma says gently. She pulls back and places a kiss on Lena’s forehead. “Ready to go?” Emma asks as she unlocks the bug. Lena nods and makes her way over to the passenger side.

The drive to Kara’s was quick as most of the traffic from the theatre had already gone. A few fans were still hanging out on the street and cheered as Emma drove past. She waved at them and smiled while still paying attention to the road.

As they enter Kara’s building Emma can feel the adrenaline starting to wear off. “Why does Kara not have an elevator again?” Emma complains to herself as her movements noticeably slows.

Lena pokes her head around the corner having gone on ahead and heard Emma grumble. “Are you okay?”

“Yea, just starting to feel it.” Emma grabs onto either side of the railings and hurls her body up the stairs. Loud footsteps coming from above make her look up. Suddenly Kara and Alex are standing at the top of the flight of stairs. Lena smiles at them and continues past them, walking up to Kara’s floor.

“Need a hand?” Alex smiles down at her sister.

“No. I can-” Emma takes a step but falters. “Please.” Emma sighs out.

Both sisters race down to her and take an arm each.

“If you ever move can you please get a place with an elevator?” Emma breathes out as they walk together up the stairs.

“No promises little one!” Kara sings out and laughs as Emma huffs.

“Anyway, you are young, fit and healthy!” Alex teases, poking Emma in the side, causing the blonde to squeal and slap Alex’s hand away.

“Normally yes, but when you perform for almost two hours sometimes your body decides to do other things.” Emma grumbles.

Eventually they reach the top of the stairs, Alex lets go and heads to the apartment door.

Emma rests her head on Kara’s shoulder as they walk the short distance towards their eldest sister. Alex smiles at them and pushes the door open.

Applause greets Emma as she steps through and she feels her cheeks heating up in a blush. She smiles shyly and accepts the hugs from the Superfriends.

Finally Emma sits down on the sofa next to Lena and Sam. Pizza is laid out on the coffee table and Emma is given the honours of choosing first.

When everyone has chosen and has settled, Kara clears her throat. “As with tradition after one of Emma’s gigs.” Kara starts speaking and Emma stops chewing, frowning at what her sister is about to do. “Alex and I always talk about our favourite parts.” She smiles brightly at her sisters. “So, I will go first. My favourite bit was during ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ and you added in the ‘Gloria’ part and the organ came in. Literally the hairs on my arms, well, all over my body, stood on end!” All the Superfriends nod. “Oh and when you had members of the choir throw chocolate and candy into the audience during ‘Joy To The World’.”

“Of course you would choose that Kara.” Alex says sat on the floor, rolling her eyes.

“Well, what's yours?” Kara laughs.

Sighing heavily Alex looks down at her pizza.

“Alex?” Emma tilts her head. Knowing what Alex must be thinking.

“My favourite bit was… when you sang for Dad.” Alex swallows and bites her lip. “It hurt but... it was such a wonderful tribute.” Tears fill Alex’s eyes and she looks away embarrassed.

Emma places her plate on the table and quickly makes her way over to her eldest sister. She kneels on the floor and engulfs Alex in a hug. The redhead sighs happily and buries her head into Emma’s neck.

When they pull apart Emma stays sitting beside Alex. She reaches out for her plate and rests her head on Alex’s shoulder as she continues to eat.

“That was one of my favourite moments too.” Sam speaks out. “The way you sang it was next level. I can’t explain it. Like you poured your very soul into it.”

“Thanks Sam.” Emma smiles at the brunette and continues to listen to the Superfriends feedback. Soon they move onto sharing their past Christmas memories. But Emma's eyes start to get more and more heavy and she can’t help but close them as she still leans against her older sister.

Feeling happy and content with how well the concert went she drifts off into a peaceful nap.

(Part Four)

[eragonpaolini]

ok I am interested in hearing about the mouse novel you started in 3rd grade

For anyone wondering what this is about, I mentioned this story a couple times in the tags, I don’t even remember on what posts lol. It took a minute to dig it up but I finally found it, wasn't even on my computer, it was on my backup drive lol. I’m gonna liveblog my reactions to it. Probably gonna be a long post, so

It's bad. It's very bad. I thought I started it in like 3rd or 4th grade or something but I found the earliest version in my 2009 folder which was 6th grade for me 😭. I don't think I was that bad at writing in 6th grade but it's really very bad. We're talking worse than My Immortal bad. It's possible I started it earlier and moved it to more recent folders over time (cause I took like 3 years to write like 6 pages lmao) but this is worrisome. I also found updated versions in my 2010 and 2011 folders which went up to 8 pages whoo! (But somehow only 2k words for the longest versions??) The "last modified" date is worthless cause I've moved it between like 3 computers and 5 flash drives/backups so all the versions say 2017.

That being said, there is a very marked improvement in the writing quality over those 8 pages that I'm almost proud of. That last page is frankly perfectly readable as a novel written for 8-12 year olds, though the story structure still needs a ton of work.

Oh shit, I just dug into the file metadata and found out it was created in May 2007, so 4th grade! Whew! I have an excuse for how bad it is. The newest version was last modified in April 2011 so that totally explains why it's so much better towards the end. Huh, just noticed I actually updated the intro in the most recent version, which makes it slightly more palatable lmao.

Well now that I've finished liveblogging my detour down memory lane, what the hell's the story about?

A town called Miceville exists in the lowest sub-basement of a human apartment building. The main character (named Cheddar Squigee) gets himself into a predicament, lost in the wilderness due in part to his own bad decisions and in part because of his older brother's dumbassery. Hopelessly stranded with no hope for rescue while his family is worried sick looking for him, Cheddar goes on an adventure with ghost pirates to find some treasure and save them from their curse (because I’d just watched Pirates of the Caribbean), before eventually reuniting with his family. I only got as far as the “he got stranded” bit with the beginnings of lore for the ghost pirates.

Some highlights from the story:

I think the very idea of a mouse story came from me reading some Geronimo Stilton books around that time. Look them up if you haven’t heard of them, they’re great books in my memory from when I was like 10 so I’m sure they’ll hold up over a decade later /s

There’s an “I didn’t know you could read” reference to Harry Potter

The entire ghost pirates thing is obviously lifted from PotC which I think is just hilarious

There’s a Clip Art pic of a mouse on one of the pages :)

The entire thing is written in Comic Sans font except for two parts which are 1) The chapter titles which are in Impact (that meme font fyi) and 2) The main title which is in the old MS Office 2003 WordArt lmao

Some lowlights:

I was a Brand Shill™, for Lamborghini of all things

I made Cheddar’s brother a major dick and a dumbass, which absolutely was not at all inspired by my relationship with my IRL brother, not one bit. There is nothing for a therapist to unpack there.

I don’t know why I specified the mouse city was in the sub-basement of a human apartment. The humans were never supposed to make an appearance or have any impact to the story. I could just have easily made it a full mouse world like Redwall or whatever.

Everything happens so fast (what is pacing and plot structure?) so if I finished the story at the current pace I don’t think it would break 30k words, not even a novel.

Anyway, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to take a couple of hours looking at this crappy story I wrote over a decade ago. No, no one can read it it’s still very bad.

[daisydays-26]

Simpsons Headcanons

PSA: these headcanons relate to an AU I have yet to fully explain where the show The Simpsons is a show within the Simpsons universe loosely based on Springfield. It’s shot in Springfield and the citizens play characters of themselves.

Also you know me. It’s long.

The Simpsons kids are incredibly close and Bart is very in tune with their emotions. He always knows how to cheer them up or spend time with them.

This sibling power and making sure everyone is included is what caused him to let Ralph have his moment is that one episode. Everyone should get their spotlight.

When Bart’s older he realizes that he’s pretty good at art and tries to get into that industry. Probably Comics or cartoons.

Bart and Sophie Krustofsky are best friends. They met on set and proceed to instantly click.

They’re like the chaotic best friends that have a very deep emotional connection that most people don’t know about. Especially when it comes to parents.

Sophie wanted to take dancing lessons in 8th grade, but she needed a partner so of course she asks Bart. He says yes and sees this as an opportunity to find a way to romance the ladies. They wind up having a really good time together and maybe possibly develop feelings for each other.

They get slushees everytime she’s in town. Their go to flavors are blueberry for Bart and Tropical Mango for Sophie.

Bart’s main group of friends includes him, Milhouse, Nelson, Sophie (when she’s on their side of town) , Martin, and Lisa if she wants to tag along.

Bart probably gets drums again in high school and starts a band with the aforementioned group. It last till they find careers.

When Grandpa Simpson dies Bart and Homer get really close. Bart keeps some of Grandpa’s old sweaters. Comfort Clothes.

While looking through old photo albums to grieve, Bart slips out “do you think he’d be proud of me?” And Homer turns and goes “yes of course he would.” Bart’s tearing up a little and turns to Homer and says “are you proud of me?” “Of course I am boy. Come here” and he holds him and continues. “I know I’m not the best as expressing how I feel about you kids. Till the end of me and your Grandpa’s relationship it was just a known understanding that we loved each other. And I guess I kind of did that with you guys and didn’t realize that you express love in a different way. You need to be told. Of course I’m proud of you. Don’t ever think otherwise.” And Bart cried a little but it’s a good cry. It’s the fist time he ever felt his dad truly liked him. And saw him as Bart Simpson and not just some goofy character.

Sophie and Krusty watch bad made for TV movies to make fun of them. It’s like a bonding thing.

Mel and Barbra (Krusty’s sister) are still married and Sophie loves calling him Uncle Mel.

Sophie also calls Bob Uncle Bob even though they’re not related. They’re just like one big family bc they’ve all known each other for so long and being in the entertainment business made their bonds (Krusty, Mel, and Bob) even stronger.

Bart really likes murder mysteries bc Lisa would read him Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys to get better at reading and they would even play the computer games together.

Marge wears her hair down more at home because Homer likes it so much.

The reason Marge started wearing it up all the time is because it reminds her of when she and Homer got together. It’s a sentiment to their relationship.

They try to have date night at least once a month.

Homer winds up making up with Herbert when the success of the show picks up. Herb relaunched his business and makes up with his only family. He comes around for holidays whenever he’s not busy and The Homer car is a distant funny scandal.

Maude was written out of the show due to health problems. She never really died.

Edna became his love interest due to become good friends with Flanders. She would tutor the boys and babysit whenever needed (due to Maude’s cycles of critical conditions). The show thought it would be a good idea. Flanders didn’t really want to make it seem like he had a new wife, but the show was a good source of income.

Eventually Edna could see how bad Flanders felt on the inside about Edna be portrayed as his new wife and asked to be written out of the show. She knew Flanders would never stick up for himself and couldn’t stand seeing her friend upset. She covered it up by saying she didn’t like the negative publicity of her character and wanted to just be a teacher. She still helps the Flanders whenever they need it.

Edna and Skinner wind up getting back together after her TV retirement. (More on the development later.)

[writerloading]

Here’s my brief analysis on why I think Klaus is the best written character in the TVDTO universe - why he brings such an impact. If you’d like to add anything else, please do! 

First thing I want to say about The Originals is that it answers a big question that all screenwriters focus on when first beginning a story. The question is “What is your story about?” And when I ask that, I don’t mean, tell me the plot of your story. I mean, what is the theme, the meaning - what are you trying to say. For TO it’s: Family is power, Redemption, and The ability to change. Each story should have an A and B plot. A plot is the story and B plot carries the arc. The show builds a structure for itself. I also feel unlike other shows, TO doesn’t drag its story. It ended right at the best time and finished its story. A lot of fans were angry that Klaus died, but I think after the path that his character went through, it was time for him to die. After being the inevitable, the one who was the most indestructible hybrid that ever lived, the one who couldn’t die, the one who couldn’t love, he became the man who finally was able to die and love. And he died for the love of his daughter. 

For what your story is about, most people are wrapped up about the plot, they don’t think about the person going through the plot. They don’t see the change. In order to be successful in your A story, you have to be successful in what your story goes through in general. What is your main character going through, what is their goal?  For Klaus his goal was to be the most powerful by gaining his daughter. Even though he already was. From an outside perspective, everyone already saw him as one who can’t be defeated. He, however, didn't see that. By the end of the story, his goal was to make sure his daughter was saved. The goal began from his daughter and ended with that, but from a different ideology. When writing a story, your story should begin and end the same way - but the goal should be different. If I start my story with a shot of a cross and end the story with that same cross being burned, the story ends in the same way but with different intentions. Within that space, you should be able to figure out what happened in the story that caused that outcome. 

Elijah’s goal was to gain Klaus redemption, and that is what he received. I think their relationship is one of the most important in the show, especially the way they develop as brothers. The way they develop tells us a lot in the cinematography. 

Here, as you can see, they begin very far apart from each other, but as the seasons go by, they become closer until they are finally able to hold each other to show their love. 

The Originals is a very character driven story. Klaus’ actions initiate another problem, which initiate another problem and so on. Without him, the story doesn’t go on. Everything revolves around who he is and what he does. Klaus’ inner conflict has a good way of being external. What Klaus feels about himself gets addressed through his anger and his actions. One thing about Klaus’ character is that he never used his abuse or his neglect of his father as the reason to justify his evil to other people. It was always because “He’s a hybrid. I can’t be killed.” or “I am Klaus Mikaelson!” People saw his high power because of his status, not because of what he went through. 

When Cami admitted to him that it’s because of his past or because of his siblings, he always denied it and even though we all know that it’s because of that from what we see on screen, Klaus doesn’t see that. He is in heavy denial. I think that’s an important factor to his character because a lot of villains are like “Oh yeah, I’m like this because of you.” They use exposition to justify who they are, while Klaus is trying to run away from his problems and make himself a ruler because if he daggers everyone, then he doesn’t have to face why he’s lonely or why he’s angry.  Klaus’ emotions weren’t just there to just show his character and who he was, but his emotions moved the story forward. His anger or his grief added a scene or created a different plot, which added consequences, and these consequences pushed change in his character or someone else around him.

One detail about Klaus redemption I’ve recognized is him showing affection. I don’t mean having sex with different women, I mean the kind of affection that shows your vulnerability. I’ve never seen Klaus sleep the entire show unless he was daggered or spelled or hurt. There’s one scene where Klaus sleeps for the first time and it’s next to Cami. Cami is the character he really exposes his vulnerability to. I think that is a really well written quality in his character. I truly believe Cami is the character in Klaus’ life that he really loves, really fell in love with and accepted. Now, I’m not saying he didn’t love Caroline. I think he does love Caroline, but his love for Caroline is completely different than his love for Cami. I think Caroline allows Klaus to love her and Cami - being the psychologist that she is - opens up Klaus to his feelings. Cami instigates Klaus to love. She tells Klaus to not be afraid of taking in love - that he’s deserving of it, and I think that’s one of the big things that draw him towards her. She was brave enough to push him - to make him see that he’s worthy of people. Cami is also one of the only people that Klaus has held hands with, besides Hope. Which is another vulnerable affection moment besides sleeping.

Klaus is one of the villains that knows his limits and even with his actions, he somehow cares for others more than he thinks. He portrays himself as someone with no capability for redemption, but the thing is, he’s been trying to redeem himself since the beginning of his time. And that’s another well written factor about his character. To reach your end goal, you need to be able to introduce that goal from the start.  One example is Klaus saving Marcel from slavery. Or when Hayley was hitting him and said fight me and he didn’t want to hit his baby’s mom. Or saving Detective Will Kinney from suicide.

It’s really well written how The Originals “showed but never told” that the reason Klaus constantly made sure Rebekah never fell in love with anyone was because he wanted her for himself. Because if she fell in love and left then he would be alone and he wanted his siblings with him all the time. Which is why he also always kept them in coffins next to him. So they’re always with him even when they’re not. He also daggered them because when he saw a flaw in them that didn’t match his perception of how he saw him, it was just easier to just stab them than face his problems. Which is also why Klaus made hybrids for himself. He said he was making a hybrid army to keep himself safe, which didn’t make sense because he’s stronger than all of them, but it was also because he didn’t want to be alone. I think the writers did a great job in showing that in his character. 

The story’s parallels display really well in Klaus’ redemption. When Klaus first became a hybrid and began turning, his father always saw him as an abomination. As someone who wasn’t worthy of being comforted during his transformations. When Hope had her first transformation, Klaus made sure that Hope wasn’t alone. He made sure that she was worthy of being a hybrid and that he was proud of her for it.

Tagging the people in the previous post that were interested :) @true-unicorn-queen @g531 @saltybisexual @barnes-107th @adrianadmirer @nevermoreraven1 @i-lady-ink @imburtmaklinfbi @angelwingsnaya @wilt23 @lina-neena @anotherporpoisetofind​ @quirkymarvelstan​ @mrs-potato-head-stuff​ @sweetcakes-n-milkshakes​ @sztodo​ @caprica99​ @senatorblitz​ @hargreves​ @gloster​ @aurea-corde​ @giraffe-sickle​ @salazar-slytherins-lavalamp​ @gracemyface​ @elijahs-wife​ @sherlockednerd​ @spn-obsessed-dean​ @darklights11​ @thedorkphoenix​ @mrshaleyjames​ @ashinouterspace​ @theircrookedheart​ @fangirlonaroll​ @overwhelmingly-hufflepuff​ @bravura-cameos​ @eleanorgeorgia123​

[jail-crow-of-mandos]

Is Caranthir Autistic Or Am I Just Projecting: An Autobiography

Yup, here it is. My long-promised autistic Caranthir meta. Although I’m not sure how much of a meta it can be considering Caranthir is only mentioned by name 24 times in the entire Silmarillion, outside of the name index at the end. So here’s the plan: we’re gonna go through every time he’s mentioned and see if it tells us anything about potentially being autistic.

Before we begin. here is the DSM list of requirements for being diagnosed as autistic. Considering how few times we see Caranthir doing stuff in day to day life, odds are we won’t get to the level required for full diagnosis, but it certainly can help support it as a theory.

Requirements:

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction,

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships

At least two of the following: Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech, Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus, Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment

Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability or global developmental delay. Intellectual disability and autism spectrum disorder frequently co-occur; to make comorbid diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder and intellectual disability, social communication should be below that expected for general developmental level.

With that being said, let’s start at the beginning:

“The seven sons of Fëanor were Maedhros the tall; Maglor the mighty singer, whose voice was heard far over land and sea; Celegorm the fair, and Caranthir the dark; Curufin the crafty, who inherited most of his father’s skill of hand; and the youngest Amrod and Amras, who were twin brothers, alike in mood and face. In later days they were great hunters in the woods of Middle-earth; and a hunter also was Celegorm [...]”

“[Regarding the Oath] Thus spoke Maedhros and Maglor and Celegorm, Curufin and Caranthir, Amros and Amras, princes of the Noldor [...]”

Okay these two tell us absolutely nothing about Caranthir in particular, at least for this particular topic. Moving swiftly along.

“But Caranthir, who loved not the sons of Finarfin, and was the harshest of the brothers and the most quick to anger, cried aloud: ‘Yea more! Let not the sons of Finarfin run hither and thither with their tales to this dark Elf in his caves! Who made them our spokesmen to deal with him? And though they be come indeed to Beleriand, let them not so swiftly forget that their father is a lord of the Noldor, though their mother be of other kin”

Now we’re finally getting to the good part. Let’s start at the beginning. “Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity”. Yep. To put that in layman’s terms, it means to have trouble understanding how to navigate conversations in a normal way, often talking out of turn or speaking too harshly. This falls into both of those. On top of that, it also shows signs of “Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships”. He is clearly misreading the situation and attacking Angrod for no real reason outside of being mad about everything. This is not how you speak to a stranger, especially not a diplomat. 

One could even argue that it could show signs of “Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior”” and “Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction”. The former could be argued because one could say that he has fallen into a comfortable pattern, and the idea of changing it is deeply distressing to him, hence why he lashed out. The idea of changes happening that he didn’t directly have a say in causes him to panic and react with anger. As far as the latter one goes, given Maedhros’s initial response to Angrod as well as him trying to calm Caranthir down afterwards, one can reasonably assume that his body language was telling his brothers to stay calm and cordial. Caranthir either ignored this deliberately (which would strengthen the prior argument that he struggles maintaining and understanding relationships, given the authority Maedhros has over him) or he simply could not pick up on the nonverbal cues that Maedhros was giving.

“Now the people of Caranthir dwelt furthest east beyond the upper waters of Gelion, about Lake Helevorn under Mount Rerir and to the southward; and they climbed the heights of Ered Luin and looked eastward in wonder, for wild and wide it seemed to them were the lands of Middle-earth. And thus it was that Caranthir's people came upon the Dwarves, who after the onslaught of Morgoth and the coming of the Noldor had ceased their traffic into Beleriand. But though either people loved skill and were eager to learn, no great love was there between them; for the Dwarves were secret and quick to resentment, and Caranthir was haughty and scarce concealed his scorn for the unloveliness of the Naugrim, and his people followed their lord. Nevertheless since both peoples feared and hated Morgoth they made alliance, and had of it great profit; for the Naugrim learned many secrets of craft in those days, so that the smiths and masons of Nogrod and Belegost became renowned among their kin, and when the Dwarves began again to journey into Beleriand all the traffic of the dwarf-mines passed first through the hands of Caranthir, and thus great riches came to him.”

So this is the part that led to all of the Caranthir loving money jokes, which ultimately led to there being a Caranthir/money tag on AO3. (No, really.) That said, there’s a lot to unpack here. First of all, it’s pretty reasonable to think that Caranthir’s love for planning and economics go beyond average, so let’s assume for a moment that economics are his special interest. This would fill the third elective requirement: “Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus”. Or, in other words, having a special interest. But beyond that, him not even trying to hide his distaste for the Dwarves clearly shows a lack of basic diplomacy, which we’ve been over before. He has severely lacking social skills. Plus, choosing to be hostile towards a group that have the exact same interests as him proves that he struggles with change, or at the very least forming interpersonal bonds, even if he did form an alliance with them in the end (which only goes to show how strong his special interest is).

“Therefore the Noldor held strength of cavalry In the plains at that place; and the people of Caranthir fortified the mountains to the east of Maglor's Gap. There Mount Rerir, and about it many lesser heights, stood out from the main range of Ered Lindon westward; and in the angle between Rerir and Ered Lindon there was a lake, shadowed by mountains on all sides save the south. That was Lake Helevorn, deep and dark, and beside it Caranthir had his abode; but all the great land between Gelion and the mountains, and between Rerir and the River Ascar, was called by the Noldor Thargelion, which signifies the Land beyond Gelion, or Dor Caranthir, the Land of Caranthir; and it was here that the Noldor first met the Dwarves. But Thargelion was before called by the Grey-elves Talath Rhúnen, the East Vale.”

Okay this one might be a bit of a stretch, but one could argue that Caranthir choosing to live beneath the mountains and in a notably dark region could indicate a sensitivity to bright lights, which would qualify as a sensory sensitivity. Even if not, though, we already have the required two of the four electives.

“At that time [Celegorm and Curufin] were from home, riding with Caranthir east in Thargelion [...]”

And this tells us absolutely nothing.

“But seven days later, as the Orcs made their last assault and had already broken through the stockade, there came suddenly a music of trumpets, and Caranthir with his host came down from the north and drove the Orcs into the rivers.

Then Caranthir looked kindly upon Men and did Haleth great honour; and he offered her recompense for her father and brother. And seeing, over late, what valour there was in the Edain, he said to her: 'If you will remove and dwell further north, there you shall have the friendship and protection of the Eldar, and free lands of your own.'

But Haleth was proud, and unwilling to be guided or ruled, and most of the Haladin were of like mood. Therefore she thanked Caranthir, but answered: 'My mind is now set, lord, to leave the shadow of the mountains, and go west, whither others of our kin have gone.'”

One could probably argue that Haleth was Caranthir’s only friend outside of his immediate family, which certainly indicates a struggle in forming bonds. That being said, he did pretty good here. I’m proud of him :))

“Maglor joined Maedhros upon Himring; but Caranthir fled and joined the remnant of his people to the scattered folk of the hunters, Amrod and Amras, and they retreated and passed Ramdal in the south. Upon Amon Ereb they maintained a watch and some strength of war, and they had aid of the Green-elves; and the Orcs came not into Ossiriand, nor to Taur-im-Duinath and the wilds of the south.”

While this is a very interesting passage for Caranthir’s characterization, it has nothing to do with him potentially being autistic, so we can move on.

“The sons of Ulfang the Black were Ulfast, and Ulwarth, and Uldor the accursed; and they followed Caranthir and swore allegiance to him, and proved faithless”

Poor Caranthir can’t catch a break, can he? But yeah of course he chooses the people who end up being the least loyal. Certainly indicates a lack of character judgement, which falls under not understanding nonverbal communication.

“There fell Celegorm by Dior's hand, and there fell Curufin, and dark Caranthir”

RIP. But it doesn’t really tell us anything.

Obviously, we can’t know what he was like during childhood development, nor can we know what underlying conditions he may have. However, given how many alliances he fucked over or nearly fucked over with his bad social skills, it’s fair to say that his autistic traits would have clinical significance. So, in conclusion, while nothing can be said for certain, it is reasonable to think that Caranthir is autistic.

[justimagineitblog]

“You Used To Love Me”: Michael Gray Fan Fiction - Chapter 1

A/N: Please enjoy getting caught up in this love story :) 

Like / reblog and let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list for the next chapters to come .... 

thankyou my loves and don’t fook with the peaky blinders! ;) xx

It’s the usual smog and cold air as I make my way down town, dirt and gravel roads crunching beneath my heels. Mostly, I concentrate on trying not to lose my footing and dodging the young boys who are playing tag in the street. But there’s a very small, tucked away portion of my brain who is constantly, subconsciously, thinking about him. Michael Gray. Even though its months since the day he left, months since I’ve seen or heard from him, it still feels strange to walk these streets without his hand locked firmly with mine. These days I just bury my hands deep in my coat pockets, trying to distract myself from how empty they feel. And from how fucking cold it is.

I round the last corner, away from the houses and straight into the Main Street. Busy and bustling with people leaving and entering businesses, horse and cart, cars all adding to the noise. In a crowd of people, a familiar face sticks out.

Polly Gray. Standing outside of the train station. A smile falls over my face immediately upon spotting her. If there’s one woman I love like my own mother, it’s Polly Gray. When Michael and I began dating and he first brought me home to his family, Polly opened her arms to me like she’d known me her whole life. Like I was already Michael’s wife. They all did.

But when Michael left for America, he didn’t just cut of communication with me. He cut of communication with everyone. Even his own family. The only way we knew he was still alive was through the rest of the staff Shelby Limited has in America. Apart from that, Michael may as well have been dead. Or at least we were, to him. Despite this, Polly and the Shelby’s didn’t just cast me off like I was a dead weight. Like an extra person that they didn’t need the burden of hanging around. Once you’re in the Shelby family, you’re in for life. I still work at the pub for Tommy. Still come around every Sunday for roast. And I know part of it is the guilt that Polly feels for what her son did to me. To us. To our love. But I know she genuinely loves me, too.

Only a few meters away from her now, I call out to her, waving my hand.

She turns towards my voice with a smile, but the moment her eyes fall over me, it disappears.

“Isabelle, my darling…” she greets me with a smile that just doesn’t seem… right “What are you doing here?”

I furrow my brows “Well I could ask you the same thing, standing outside the train station of all places” I chuckle softly but she just gives me that same, nervous smile.

“Poll, what’s wrong?” I look around suspiciously, for someone who might be causing her to act like this “Is there someone here that shouldn’t be?” It’s a rare occasion that Polly Gray acts anything but confident and calm.

When I look back to her for an answer, she just stutters. Glancing between me and the entry to the station anxiously, she shakes her head.

“Um, now isn’t the time darling, maybe you should go-“

But before I can even figure out what on earth has got her acting this way, the answer to my question walks out of the station lobby and into the street.

Michael.

Suddenly, the obnoxiously loud street becomes muffled, everything sounds like I’m listening from underwater.

Once our eyes lock, he freezes in his tracks, like someone hit the pause button and now all either of us can do is stare at one another.

“Shit” I hear Polly hiss under her breath beside me.

6 months. 6 months of nothing. No calls. No letters. No explanation. 6 months of anticipation. Crying myself to sleep. Making myself sick with worry. Wondering if he ever loved me at all. And how he could just leave me like this. Did he feel bad at all? 6 months has all come down to this moment. And here he stands. Alive and well. A little older. A little more well dressed. And perfectly fine.

Michael.

Acutely aware of my pounding heart, my breath begins to quicken too, my chest rising and falling rapidly beneath my dress.

And if my complete shock or lack of oxygen hasn’t made me completely delusional, I begin to see the smallest hint of something in his eyes. Like a flicker of light through a crack in a concrete wall. It’s gentle. Warm. Hopeful. Is it a smile? Or… love?

“Michael, baby?” A heavily accented woman’s voice cuts through the heavy air around us like a knife.

And just as fleetingly as the look came, it is whisked away. Before I got a chance to read what he’s even thinking after seeing me, the girl he was supposed to be in love with, for the first time in 6 months, the page was ripped away.

It’s replaced by a cold, empty stare and it soon dawns on me why. The heavily accented voice calling his name belongs to someone. Arrogant and proud, she strolls out into the side walk and straight to Michael, placing a possessive hand on his shoulder.

Like watching a car accident, in which my heart is the car and every moment that follows is another piling up on top of it, I can’t look away.

She’s tall, slender, blonde. And she leans into Michael, pressing her red lips against his cheek. The cheek that I used to kiss like that. Leaving a faint lip stick stain like I used to.

My eyes lock with Michaels and again I find another hidden message behind them. Does he look… guilty?

“Baby?” The American demands, her sharp and commanding voice finally snapping us both out of our trance.

“Yes honey, sorry” Michael apologises quickly, dragging his eyes away from mine as he turns to the woman with a smile on his face.

“Well aren’t you going to introduce me?” She chuckles, with a hint of irritation behind it.

He stares at her, his mouth parted ready to speak, but no sound follows it’s lead. The woman gives him one final, warning glare and Michael swallows, turning back to Polly and I.

“This is Gina… Gina Gray”

My head shoots to Polly immediately, and she just shakes her head at me. Polly must have already known. How long has she known about this.

She doesn’t say anything but her her eyes are screaming.

‘I’m sorry’ they cry.

Gina. Gina Gray. Gray.

She’s Michael’s wife.

“Sorry, do we know you?” She asks me pointedly, right as I’m trying to understand what has unfolded in a matter of minutes. So she doesn’t know about me? Michael hasn’t told her. He never mentioned the woman he has been in love with for 4 years. Never crossed his mind? Was our love not worth a mention? Was I not worth it?

I feel Michael’s eyes burning into me as he waits for me to answer, but what am I supposed to say?

‘Oh I was just your husbands lover before he left for America, where I never heard from him in 6 months, but apparently he met you and now you’re married so I guess I’m just some jaded ex lover’

Michael never was a man of God, but I bet he’s praying to whatever God is listening right now. Praying that I don’t reveal his secret. Expose his big lie. Reveal his double life?

“This is Isabelle,” Polly’s voice pushes in very suddenly, but as she goes to continue, Michael cuts her off before she even can.

“A family friend” he interjects quickly, almost tripping over his own words with urgency.

A family friend.

If there was a moment to describe the feeling of twisting the knife once you’ve already been stabbed, this was it.

The sentence rattles around in my brain. How can he just stand there, look me in the eyes, and call me that.

Maybe if we had of broken up before he left, then he would be justified in calling me nothing but a family friend, if he doesn’t want to say I used to be his lover. His girlfriend. His person.

But I clearly remember how he made love to me the night before he left. How he kissed me at the station before he left. How we both cried and held each other, almost causing him to miss the train. And I know he remembers it too. But yet here he stands. With my heart in his hands, and clenching it tightly as he calls me nothing but a family friend.

I’m suddenly painfully aware of the silence between us all, and realise I haven’t spoken once this entire time.

“Yes, sorry” I nod quickly “I’ve known the family a long time”

“How sweet” Gina replies with a tight smile, as she looks me up and down.

A feeling of sickness washes over me the same way her eyes do. I don’t belong here. Standing like a complete fool as Michael and this woman, his wife, pretending to be someone I’m not, just as much as Michael is.

“I’ll let you guys get on your way” I shake my head “I’ve uh, I’ve got a shift to get to anyway”

Gina nods with another sickly sweet and clearly fake smile, and Michael just stands there, still watching me nervously.

“Bye Poll” I breathe at Polly who is biting her lip, doing a terrible job at hiding the distraught look on her face. I can’t even imagine what mine looks like.

I give one last nod at them all, my eyes catching Michaels for the last time as I begin to walk away. My legs feel like lead as I force myself to walk away from them, moving from the spot I felt as though I was frozen to.

[fandom-sheep]

MCC 24 JUL 21

Green Guardians and Pink Parrots Part 1/2

Alright I’m finally back! I’m only half watching while I clean my room but it’s fine.

I’m watching Fundy’s POV on my main screen and Ranboo’s on my phone where I’m typing this.

Ranboo pre game stream let’s gooo.

I’m so very entertained by the background Tubbo noises.

He’s so happy. I don’t know if I have it in my to watch Fundy’s POV even though I’m cheering for the Green Guardians.

Sands of time. Let’s go!

We are going to hear these boys in each other’s backgrounds.

This has “mom can we play Minecraft at our sleepover” vibe.

Phil’s streaming. Where is the fox boy…

Boys trying to out noise each other.

Please tell over to tubbo about how loud he is being. It would be funny.

It’s so much fun watching this boy achieve his goals. I love watching people achieve their goals.

Actual MCC server!!!

Good time for screeny. Nobody is chilling.

BURGER!

I saw him! I saw that fox run past!

“Ahh” - Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

“Ahhhh” -Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

High school ish age boy in competitive scenario. This will be so much fun.

Microphone magic time!

Hey I hear the boys!

And it works well.

It does echo???? How???

“It was a joint effort. I came up with some bad ideas you came up with the idea that works.” -Tubbo

Also known as every other group chat I’ve ever been in.

Lmanburg flag at rally?

What?

No. Let’s do free clout.

Ranboo being a problem.

Why is everyone in that VC?

What problems are these children causing.

Fundy is live! Where is my iPad time to dual wield streams.

Spatula???

Dual spatulas.

It’s time to start!!!

Where is the fox?

You know. I might reverse it. I might have to watch Pink Parrots mainly and just ignore green guardians.

I’m going to put Wilbur on my iPad so I can see the chaos man. Now to decide which POV I’m listening to. Probably Ranboo. Wilbur on mine is slightly behind.

They asked if Wilbur was going change his skin? That never happens. He had to wear the sweater of shame at Christmas time.

I have them both almost perfectly sinced but it’s at the point it almost sounds echoed.

No it’s just tubbo who sounds echoed.

Nope can’t get it to sync. Just listening on my speaker.

No surround sound here. Unless I get really board.

Manifesting the win?

Manifolding the win.

Bavid.

Time to annoy the other teams.

From here on I’m going to try to be productive while I watch. Wait no. The music isn’t in sync with the one I’ll mostly be watching.

Oh I forgot TapL was there. Nope it’s not syncing. Just going to have Ranboos on my phone be secondary.

Wilbur POV let’s go.

We trash talking. Look at them go.

Ahh. English area codes. What the enigma.

Let’s win pink parrots!!! How do I always end up cheering for this team…

I need to make pink parrot art.

Oh no. Just Wilbur.

Oh no. It’s all Tubbo.

Wilbur reminds me of a good camp counselor motivating his team. Not like one of my coworkers.

My brother isn’t home today so we can’t have a watch party like we wanted.

My mom is confused with my and my brother’s investment in MCC but we told her it was the national championships of Minecraft.

Oh poor Fundy tagging on the other side.

I need to remember to collect channel points.

I’m sorry why is my internet acting stupid. Work you!

Pink and purple. The tween girls second most idea color pallet.

They are over motivating the Soot.

Thought Wilbur was going to explode from peer pressure there.

Yooo. I figured out how to watch Fundy! I can split screen my ipad between the app and the website. Tiny Fundy screen and big Wilbur screen and tiny Ranboo screen on my phone.

They can’t warn fast enough.

Time to watch and ad and support Wilbur because it got too far behind for my liking while I fought with the tiny Fundy screen.

I need to put away the books I’m pressing flowers in. But I don’t want to mess up the flowers.

Wonder how soon I’ll have to start a new post because I ran out of bullet points.

Nah I’m not keeping Fundy’s POV open. I want full screen Pink Parrots.

Music brain made the lyric connection.

I could drink 3 bottles of water every round.

The boys with the superior bladders.

What happened with Wilbur? What I didn’t see anything happen with the stream.

Nox crew role play??? What?

Wait. Did red team just fall into the void?

What?

I found a skirt and I’m wondering why I don’t wear it more often.

It goes down to my knees I could even wear this to church.

Offhand wool!

Time to battle in the box!

Exciting death boots.

Go!!! Do wool! Get em!

Oh wow. They both died. At the same time.

They can hear the Tommy. That’s how well these dudes know one another.

Bragging on each other.

Everyone surprised that Wilbur is entering his old man years.

Woohoo!

Random history moments with Tubbo.

Woohoo (again)!

Ranboos just going to jinx it.

Oh no I need my charger!

Got my charger! Rejoined at “Minecraft butts make big… videos” and am quite confused.

Skilled boys!!

Poof goes the Bur.

They beat Dream???

Casually refolding every bandana I own while watching battle box.

I found a peppermint tea bag.

Come on get mid! Noooo.

Pink parrots doing pretty good from what I see in MCC live.

I thought Ranboo had an actual burger on his face cam. I was so confused for a moment.

Yelling across the room casually.

Wilbur is back. You can hear him.

Wilbur is like a kid trying to get a duck out of the pond.

Sky battle?

Shake? Shake shake shake?

Oh no. Now all the chat is crying over Ghostbur. Myself included.

Pink parrots on top so far! Never mind that didn’t last long.

Go Wilbur! Go Tubbo! Go Ranboo! Go TapL!

Wilbur go poof.

3rd atm.

Oh we’ve gone down.

No he was not good. But he paved the way for TapL.

We’re in 2nd?? Are the other teams dead or something?

If we’re going down and yelling timber.

4th. Not bad.

Woohoo!

Go green guardians!!

So proud of them.

Pants and Boots!

Still in 6th for sky battle.

Bless his heart TapL is so worried.

Red Rabbits and Green guardians are close.

My streams are out of sync. So confused.

We’re in lead!!

WE WON!!!

My iPad is struggling with Will’s stream but it’s going!

Come on Parrots!

Alright got it up again. Got it up again.

If I were a streamer I wouldn’t be good at MCC. I can’t competitive properly. I just like making jokes and being goofy.

Not a good lead but oh well never mind we don’t have the lead.

Red Rabbits YUM.

“Do not engage” as they set off tnt.

Get those stupid rabbits! Or whoever is attacking. I’ve never been good at any sports.

First again!

Hold on guys!

They won!!! With Wilbur hovering on the edge of the void!!!

PINK PARROTS FIRST PLACE (for now but I’m still excited)

Talented team!! Look at them go!

Get your screen shot little Y/N fan boy.

Not surprised we’re more popular than the olympics.

Had to go brag to my parents that there are more people watching MCC than the olympics. They were also not surprised.

Sands of Time. The wildcard game.

Sand sand sand sand.

We have a key for a vault already?

Putting away shoes. Nothing to make you be productive like watching Minecraft peeps play a competitive game.

“Everywhere is a way into somewhere”

Come on boys.

Time to switch to Ranboos POV. See if I can spot that N with my grown up can spot things vision.

Nope don’t see this mysterious letter.

TapL if you got nothing to do bother Ranboo to help him find that N.

Calm Tubbo. Tubbo chill.

Really. The map is broken and they are taking forever helping.

Key!!! Fight Fight Fight.

Ranboo apologizing.

If his team loses this kid will blame himself.

Go Tubbo and Ranboo.

Vault open!

Out of sand = prepare to book it.

1:30 (90 sec) let’s go.

Less than a minute. Evacuate!

Oh no Ranboo is lost. Hurry kiddo!

They made it?

They made it.

Off goes the Wilbur. Now to wait.

Come on pink parrots.

Is it bad I can’t see sands of time coins in MCC live or am I just crazy?

5th. Better than I expected.

THEY ARE STILL FIRST???

Barely. But they are.

We get to vote now?!?

Quick to the voting!

I had to fight Twitter to vote.

The app didn’t want to work.

What’s the acronym one?

I’m sorry did I just hear that Wilbur taught Tubbo how to spell fuck?

Ranboo has the iron bladder.

I drank so much water but I just kinda do that.

Listen to Wilbur getting soft and encouraging Ranboo in his first game.

And Wilbur wanting him back. And planning to manipulate Scott.

Doesn’t surprise me that Wilbur would manipulate Scott. I know he probably doesn’t but still.

Look at all us audience beings.

Hooray David. I don’t know who you are but sup.

I’m sitting on a yoga ball to type and I about fell off. That wouldn’t have been fun.

All of Wills chat blessing him.

David just did the vocal equivalent of 👍🏻

Ooo I found a dollar.

And of course Tubbo likes the olympics. Trampoline boy should love them.

Nooo. Not tubbo!

Whoopsy. There go the parrots.

Why does my Wilbur stream keep goofing. See this is why I don’t actually liveblog I am so behind it’d be delayed anyway.

Instead of replacing with Phil replace with Kristen.

Keep it up Pink Parrots keep it up. *clap clap*

Where is my old cheerleading book?

Oh this is so behind. I saw ranboo fall on his POV then waited a few moments to see him on Wills.

Let’s reset it again for now. Look like it’s close. And I got an ad this time.

If it gets super behind again I’m going to just switch to Ranboo on my iPad and see if that works.

Wills is slightly ahead now. That’s how I like it.

Wilbur is such a motivating human. I swear I keep thinking that I’m hearing my coworkers encouraging campers at a kickball game or something.

Oh we’re dropping. But we’re still going.

How the actual hay are we still here.

Keep it up TapL!!

2nd!

300 and a bit to get back to first.

Look at Ranboo and Wilbur. So happy.

Ok singy boi with the ability to do one sound for a long time.

I want TapL on DSMP. It would be funny I like this guy. What does this guy stream? I want to start watching him.

Ace Race? I love ace race.

Ooo buildmart. Used to be my favorite but now no one hates it anymore.

I like least liked games. Least liked games act as great equalizers. No one is happy and it’s funny.

“You have such a way with words” -TapL (?)

“Thanks I’m a song writer” -Wilbur

Why are we doing dramatic monologues?

Sounds neat. I like this deep story.

Who is dying? What? I zoned out for a minute.

Cant wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

You go Wilbur. I believe in you.

You go Ranboo become a lover or hater of Ace Race.

“I keep on stabbing people in the butt with my fork” -Ranboo

Again can’t wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

I love Wilburs angry “which glitch” he’s experienced all of them.

No don’t stop Wilburs channel! I’ll watch an ad but let me watch ace race.

Ranboo has learned to dislike ace race.

Feels like a achievement. You have made Ranboo hate ace race.

Tubbo did it! Whoop!

Good job Will!

Good Job team!

Second team to finish!!!

Wait it says they are in 3rd on MCC live?

Phil Head!

Hey 1st. Good job Parrots!

The perspective I watch doesn’t matter. All I see is shifting at Wilbur either way.

Ranboo booked it.

Techno. Oh how we miss him. He was there last MCC but still.

Wait why are they in the soggy? I missed it?

Dunk tank?

End on build mart! Everyone sounded so sad! I’m so happy! I picked the right team!

Oh acronym is terra swoop force!!! Go Philza.

I’m practical shot who will win.

Pink Parrots doing actually pretty good according to MCC live.

Good job guys!

Resetting Wilburs stream while nothing is happening so I don’t miss anything later.

OH WAIT STUFF IS STILL HAPPENING I SEE IT ON RANBOOS!

Oh final text block. I’m going to have to make 2 posts.

[missnxthingg]

𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤 • 𝕥𝕖𝕟

SUMMARY: Tom’s still debating rather he tells (Y/N) that night they got drunk at the club, and she has a very successful dinner with Harvard’s important people.

Based on my one-shot, Flawless.

PAIRING: Rich!Tom Holland x Rich!Reader (Best Friends to Lovers AU)

WORDS: 8.6K

WARNINGS: TW ABUSE AND USE OF SUBSTANCES. Swearing, alcohol, mentions of sex.

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                             𝕥𝕖𝕟 • 𝕒𝕤 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕤 𝕚'𝕞 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖

"Thank you for the dinner, Josephine and Vincent.” One of Harvard’s directors said. He was friends with (Y/N)’s dad and was very close to him. “I’ll love to see you at our University next semester, (Y/N).”

“Thank you so much, sir.” (Y/N) shook his hand with a big smile on her face. “I will love to be there.”

Everyone said their goodbyes, and when the elevator finally closed and went down with their guests, (Y/N) started to jump excitedly to celebrate the huge success that dinner was. Everyone was polite - including Josephine and Vincent who didn’t have a single fight all night - and had a good time together over nice food. (Y/N) caused a good impression and they sure loved her, so everything was fantastic.

“Congratulations, sweetie.” Vincent hugged her daughter and kissed her forehead. “Harvard can’t wait for you. I’m so proud!”

“I’m proud too!” Josephine said with a big smile on her face as she lit up her first cigarette of the night. She didn’t want to cause a bad impression with their guests. “But there’s still time to go to Paris and major in fashion…”

“No, she’s gonna be an awesome lawyer.” Vincent nudged her, who giggled.

“Oh my God, stop fighting over my life.” She said mid-laugh. “I’ll become a lawyer for the fashion world.”

“My girl.” Josie winked as she kissed her cheek. “I think it’s time to go to bed, right?”

“Right. Thank you for hosting everything in here.” Vincent thanked his ex-wife with a small smile.

Even after all this time, all the fights and after both being in stable relationships, Josephine and Vincent still liked each other very much. Both cared a lot about what they had and what they constructed together, but it didn’t work out in the end. After a while, they found someone they loved, but that doesn’t mean they still don’t love each other.

“Good night to you both.” (Y/N) gave them a tight hug before running to her bedroom.

She removed everything, from clothes to makeup, before lying back in bed, listening to the soft sound coming from the TV while she texted Tom. He was probably still out partying with Harrison, so calling him was not an option; even though she was dying to do so.

“Brunch tomorrow? Same place, same hour. I have some good news! XO” She typed on her phone, and it was read immediately. Soon he was replying.

Tom: “Of course. You better tell me everything tomorrow. Have a good night, I love you.”

“I love you too. See ya’ tomorrow, good night lovey.”

(Y/N) went to sleep with a big smile on her face and woke up renewed, a little earlier than usual. The sun was shining a little brighter outside, making the usual grey New York sky look a little prettier and cheerful. Her good mood made her jump out of bed and rush to start her day.

Her life was a bit dreamy at the moment. She had a good relationship with her mother, she made up with her long-term best friend, and her dream college wanted her. It was everything she wanted for her whole life, and she wanted that to last for a very long time. It was good not to cry for bad things, and now she could finally breathe.

Taking care of yourself is good, and (Y/N) loved when she woke up in a good mood and started her beauty routine carefully. Taking a good hot bubble bath with a cup of coffee, watching the New York City skyline as the sun rose, and listening to some of her favourite fashion podcasts were some of the highest points of her day. Her skin looked flawless after her morning skincare routine, and she looked alright after not having plenty of nights of sleep.

But when she was done with everything, it was still early. Even if she wanted to meet with Tom and ramble on about everything that happened last night, he would kill her if she woke him up this early. But little did she know that while she had her best night of sleep, Tom spent the whole time awake, talking to Harry and Sam about his feelings.

He rarely talked about it, especially with his brothers. Normally, he would talk to Harrison about it. But right now, his best friend is unavailable and he needed to vent. The moment he entered the apartment in tears again, Harry - who had just gotten home from a date - knew his brother wasn’t alright. Two nights in a row coming home crying wasn’t a good sign. Sam did not know why his big brother was crying, but Tom rarely cried. He only cries for one reason, and she wore Prada shoes as if they were flip floss.

“What happened?” Harry asked and Tom shrugged.

“I just realized I can’t keep on with the meaningless hookups when I know the perfect girl is right next to me.” Tom wiped some tears before sitting down. “Fuck, I love her.”

“Yeah, you do mate.” Sam tapped his brother's knees with a chuckle.

“How do you cope with being in love?” Tom asked his brother and he shrugged.

“I guess when you meet the right girl, everything is just easy.” Sam shrugged.

“So I haven’t met the right girl yet.”

“No, there’s only one thing missing.” Tom frowned at Sam’s words. “Right timing.”

“And you should stop messing around with Harrison.” Harry commented. “There’s no way she’ll want you if you keep hooking up with everything that moves.”

“I guess you’re both right. I’m gonna become the person she’ll want in her life.”  Tom nodded with a smile.

And he spent the whole night awake thinking about her. How he was supposed to make her fall in love with him? Should he tell her about the kiss and the confession? Maybe she knows it already. Every single thing running through his mind kept him awake all night, and he only got a little sleep when he saw the sun rising in the horizon. Still, it wasn’t enough for him to rest and he knew it the moment he opened his eyes with the sound of a text coming into his phone.

(Y/N): “Already out, and doing some shopping. Text me when you leave home.”

Yeah, maybe seeing her today would make him feel a bit better. Even though she was the reason he was awake the whole night, she knew how to make him be okay just by being there and she didn’t even have to try it. But getting out of bed was hard. Taking a shower and getting dressed was even harder, but Tom still managed to do it. Soon he was walking out of his car to find (Y/N) waiting for him on the sidewalk full of shopping bags.

“Wow, you bought the whole story.”

“It’s just a couple of things I thought were pretty. And look, I got you something!” She searched for a bag between many of them. Tom opened it to find the prettiest leather jacket, one that would fit him perfectly.

“It’s perfect! Thank you so much.” He pulled her into a hug, which made her smile a little.

“Put it on so we can match.” She showed her own leather jacket and made him chuckle before putting it on.

“This is ridiculous.” He laughed harder and she tagged along.

“Come on, we look cute. Let’s take a picture of our matching outfits!”

After many pictures on the sidewalk, with lots of kisses in the face and smiles, they decided they were very hungry and food couldn’t wait for their photoshoot to be over. (Y/N) talked about her dinner night as she shared some food with Tom, not excluding any tiny detail from her words. She was so excited about it that brought the purest joy to Tom’s heart. His girl was happy and that’s all that matters. While she talked, he held her hand over the table and rubbed circles on the back. And as he paid attention to every single word she was saying, he couldn’t contain his big smile when he saw how big hers was.  

“And one of the deans said he would be happy to have me there next semester.” She finished with the biggest smile on her face. “I’m just… over the moon right now.”

“I’m happy for you. I truly am.” He smiled wider and she switched sides of the table to sit next to him and hug her best friend. His arms were always the best place to be. “You’re gonna be amazing!”

“You too.” She nudged his nose. “Thank you for supporting me.”

“I’ll always support you.” He entwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand. 

“Now, tell me about your night. How was the party?”

“I got very drunk and it was fun at first, but I left early.”

“Why? Did you have some girl with you?” She teased him, making him chuckle a little.

“I did, but I wasn’t in the mood.” He shrugged. “Actually, I’ve been thinking a lot about those meaningless hookups. I don’t want them anymore, I wanna settle down.”

“You? Settle down?” She laughed hard and her belly almost hurt.

“Why are you laughing?” Tom asked, a little offended.

“Because you said so yourself that you’ve never liked a girl before. And now you’re talking about settling down? Did someone change your mind?”

“Maybe.” He fought the urge to smile again. “I feel like I’m getting old and even though I’m having fun, I’m wasting my time here. So I want to find someone to share my life with.”

(Y/N) wanted more than anything to ask if she could be that person. She loved him with all of her heart and the thought of him being with someone else might kill her. She wanted to be the one he always goes to; the one who’s there for him, through thick and thin; the one he loves. But isn’t she already?

She wanted all of those things, but she couldn’t get herself to say it. Instead the words that came out of her mouth were:

“If that’s what you want, I’ll always support you too. That’s what best friends are for.”

Best friends. Tom was sick of calling them best friends. After the kiss they had on Christmas, and then the other one they shared that week, he just couldn’t stand that title anymore. Of course, being her best friend wasn’t a problem, but he wanted to be more than that. Tom wanted to be her best friend and the love of her life, just like she is to him.

She was tired too. Tired of feeling like she was wasting her time here, loving someone who doesn’t love her the same way; one that she’s leaving soon to pursue her lifelong dream of being a lawyer graduated by Harvard. But neither of them did anything to change that at all. It was best to have each other as best friends rather than not having each other at all.

The week that followed that afternoon was weird. Tom and (Y/N) were avoiding each other because of what he said that morning. It wasn’t like they weren’t talking, but they were avoiding spending all of their time talking because they just couldn’t take not being together anymore. Until they met on Friday after school since he was taking her home.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot about our sleepover.”

Liar. They’ve been talking about that sleepover since the last one a month ago. Until a week before that, they were very excited about that sleepover and were already planning on what to do that time. They wanted to have fun with all of the Hollands, and some fun alone too. So it was very weird when (Y/N) forgot it.

“What? Come on, (Y/N)!” Tom whined. “We’ve been talking about this for weeks now. I thought you were looking forward to it.”

“I was, I really was. But Courtney suggested going clubbing to celebrate my successful dinner.”

That wasn’t a lie at all. Ever since (Y/N) started being friends with Courtney again, they’ve been talking about hanging out a lot more. When Court heard the good news, she just planned the whole thing herself. On Friday, they would go out clubbing and have a good time. (Y/N) thought she actually needed some distraction. If Tom could go out and hook up with many girls, so could she, even if she was in love. She used to not care about hooking up with a lot of guys, but ever since she realised her feelings for Tom were stronger than she thought, she stopped. Maybe now it was time to go back to being herself.

“I thought you wanted to hang out with me.”

“I do, Tommy. I really do! But I haven’t hung out with her since forever and I miss her.” She whined. “Can’t we have our sleepover tomorrow?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Tom shrugged, a little pissed. It wasn’t a bad thing that she was hanging with Courtney, he was just upset she forgot about their plans. But she made everything better with the comfiest hug of all time.

“Don’t be mad, please.” She pouted.

“I could never be mad at you, sunny.” He wrapped his arms around her and relaxed.

“Thank you.” She sprinkled kisses all over his face and made him smile. It’s been a week since they started avoiding each other, and they missed all that intimate contact. It was crazy how much they missed the other, and it was stupid to avoid their feelings. Eventually, they are going to pop up.

But not tonight. (Y/N) looked stunning in the mini dress she chose for the night. She wanted to impress and she wanted to feel gorgeous. No one’s opinion would matter if she was happy and she was ready to have fun with the girls, being young and stupid. That’s why when the time to meet the girls at the club went, she was very excited.

“Mom, I’m going out.” (Y/N) finished some touches on the living room mirror. 

“Going out with that idiot again?” Josie rolled her eyes and (Y/N) took a deep breath to not snap at her and ruin her night.

“No, I’m going out with Courtney and the girls. We’re going to a club and I’ll probably sleep at Court’s.”

“Oh, thank God you’re talking to Courtney again. She’s much better than Tom.”

“Mom, stop it! Let’s not make it about Tom, please.”

“Alright. I’m going out with Gary, so I’ll not be back until tomorrow. But call me when you get to Courtney’s.”

“Will do. Bye, mom!” 

The club was full that night. Courtney gathered some of her cheerleader girl friends, even if they were always kissing (Y/N)’s ass. At least they tried to be nice to her, and after a couple of drinks, they will all start to look decent. And (Y/N) took her old self out of the closet to party that night.

She kissed many guys - and two girls at some point -, danced to every song that night and got drunk by drinking everything she could that night. Courtney suggested doing some shots to start the party, and that was the first of many. (Y/N) didn’t think about Tom for a second while she was in the club.

“Oh my God, thank you so much for bringing me out tonight.” (Y/N) shouted through the loud song so Courtney could hear it.

“It’s nothing, babes. Are you having a good time?” Court asked as she danced to the pop music playing in the background.

“The best!” (Y/N)’s smile was big and she was loose because of the many drinks she had that night. 

“Cheers for Harvard’s new lawyer!” Courtney shouted a little louder and they celebrated it with a tequila shot.

(Y/N) danced some more and had a good time with the girls, until her eyes lied on a beautiful boy by the bar. He was very tall with long ginger hair and had a playful smile on his face. He was alone sipping on a drink, and making eye contact with (Y/N). If she was looking for someone to go home with, that was him, she just knew that.

He called her with a sign in his hand and she pointed to her own chest, giving into his play. He nodded with a small smirk and she approached him quickly, already playing with her flirting cards as she walked swaying her hips side to side, a move she knew anyone would go insane.

“Hello, gorgeous.” The guy said as he stood a hand in the air. “I’m Cameron.”

“I’m (Y/N).”

“Oh, I know.” He chuckled. “I worked with your mother a long time ago. You were just a little kid, I was a bit older though.”

“So you were a model?” He nodded and she nodded back. “Cool. Sorry to not recognize you.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m famous or something.” He shrugged. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful, but I only knew you from afar and from your pictures. But now that I’m seeing you with my own eyes, I just… fuck.”

“Thank you so much. You’re pretty too.” She winked and quickly, he rested a hand on her hips, rubbing circles with his thumb right there.

“Can I get you anything to drink?”

“A gin tonic please.” He nodded and turned to the bartender, who went to get the drinks with a wink.

Cameron seemed nice and he was very handsome. He started the conversation easily and they downed a few drinks as they talked. The party was still going on in the background, and they didn’t care about it. (Y/N) was tired of dancing and Cameron seemed like a good distraction; maybe he was everything she needed tonight. Soon Courtney approached saying she was too tired to stay any longer. 

“You can go home, babes. I have somewhere to stay tonight.” (Y/N) winked and Courtney frowned, pulling her to the side.

“What about Tom?”

“What about him?” (Y/N) sipped her drink and Court frowned even more.

“I thought you were a thing.”

“You thought wrong. And don’t worry, Cameron is a good guy.” (Y/N) glanced back to him, who was too distracted by ordering them new drinks.

“Are you sure about going home with him?”

“I am. He’s cute and he’s very polite. I think that’s exactly what I need tonight. Plus, I think we’re gonna get one more drink and bail.”

“Okay. Call me if you change your mind.”

“Thank you, Court. I loved hanging out with you tonight.” (Y/N) wrapped her arms around her friend and they shared a long hug.

“Me too.” Courtney finished the hug with a playful smack on her friend's ass and a wink. “Go get ‘em, tiger!”

When (Y/N) went back to Cameron, he already had two cups waiting over the counter, but she was too drunk to even think twice before taking her last drink. He was now strangely quiet, and to be honest, she was having a hard time to listen to what anyone was saying. She was completely fine two minutes ago, but now she feels like she lost control of her own body.

“Do you wanna go back to mine, babe?” Cameron asked in her ear and she had almost no control over her actions anymore. But Cameron took the slow blink as a yes, and helped her get on her feet.

“I-I… I just have to use the restroom, real quick.”

She stood one finger in the air and tried to steady her feet on the floor to start walking. Her vision was starting to get blurry and the world around her seemed to be going in slow motion. She knew something was off, and thank God she got to arrive in the restroom. Even though it was all a mess, she managed to get into a cabin and find her phone inside her purse. She just knew who she needed to call.

(...)

Meanwhile, Tom was having an awful night with Harrison and the twins. They were home, playing board games and talking about random stuff all night. He wanted to go out with Haz and get wasted again, because he knew that was what (Y/N) was doing. But he promised himself that he wouldn’t do that anymore, so he prefered to stay home.

But the thought that she was out there with someone else was killing him. He wasn’t the jealous type at all, and he hoped she wasn’t either, because both of them were players and could make the other jealous easily. But tonight, he felt something was off. He wouldn’t ease for even a second, even declined a beer Harrison offered on buying.

“You’re acting weird tonight.” Harrison said when the twins left to get their pizza downstairs. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know. I feel like something is wrong with (Y/N) and I’m not feeling okay.”

“Don’t worry, mate. She’s completely fine. You’re just feeling like this because she’s out there with other guys.”

“Wow, you helped me a lot.” Harrison laughed and shook his head.

“You should tell her about the kiss.” He suggested, taking another gulp of his soda. Tom chuckled and shook his head.

“She’s going to murder me if she finds out I’ve kept it from her.”

“But this might actually be the way you get together.” Harrison said. Tom shrugged and went to find his phone, which was now ringing somewhere. He frowned when he saw the name on the screen.

“(Y/N), is everything okay?” He asked when he picked up the phone.

“Tom, something’s wrong with me. I’m in the club close to your apartment, you know which one. I think someone drugged me.” Her voice was weak and slow, almost like she was thinking too hard to put those words out. “In the girls’ restroom. P-please…” Her voice faded and Tom’s eyes went wide.

“(Y/N)? Please sunny, say something.” Tom pleaded, already getting his jacket and his car keys. “(Y/N), please!”

“What’s wrong, Tom?” Harrison asked, now aware that something was very wrong.

“Someone drugged her. She needs my help.”

“Come on, I’ll drive.”

Harrison never drove so fast in his life, which was a very difficult task to do in New York City with all of those cars. Tom instructed where to take them, while still in line with her, who was not responding to anything. Only the noises of a full girl’s restroom could be heard. At least no one found her yet, no one evil.

He was wearing sweatpants and an old denim jacket, but he got inside quickly and rushed to the said restroom. He heard some complaints from girls, but it was actually easy to find where (Y/N) was hidden. She wasn’t replying to him anymore, but she still had some flashes of sanity, although she had no control of her body anymore. Tom didn’t know how he managed to get inside that cabin, but he soon wrapped his arms around (Y/N). She only had the strength to use her fingers to press his body under her touch. She moaned in pain and groaned in annoyance. 

“It’s okay. I’m here and I’m going to take care of you.” Tom kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer. “I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?”

She only nodded and felt her best friend picking her up to carry her through the club. Tom didn’t care if he was not dressed properly or if everyone’s eyes were on him carrying the girl, he only cared about (Y/N). She had a few flashes of sobriety and at some point, she pointed to a ginger guy by the bar, texting on his phone.

“He did this to me.” She whispered in Tom’s ear, and he just knew what to do. Harrison was confused and looking for any sight of his best friends, but he relaxed a little when he saw Tom carrying (Y/N) in his arms. She was half passed out when Tom carefully placed her in Harrison’s arms.

“Take her to the car, I have to take care of some things.” Tom said, his jaw clenched in anger. Harrison only nodded and did as his friend told so.

Tom was pissed and angry. He probably could kill this guy in a second for what he did to her girl. That’s why he didn’t think twice before hitting several punches in his face. If Cameron was a model, he wouldn’t be anymore after all of this. Tom only stopped when security separated them once the guy was on the ground, blood spilling from his nose.

“You don’t need to drag me. I’m not staying here any longer. But he drugged my friend! And he probably already has drugged other girls.” Tom said to the security, who nodded and signed someone else to carry the other guy out.

Tom found Harrison with (Y/N) in the car, close to a pool of vomit on the sidewalk. She looked better, but now she was crying while holding onto Harrison with all of her strength. Tom’s heart crushed when he saw her like that, so he quickly rushed to her, who let go of Harrison and wrapped her arms around Tom.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered in his ears. He shook his head and held her tighter.

“It’s not your fault.” Tom looked at Harrison to ask how she got better by using only his eyes.

“I helped her throw up.” Tom nodded and fully focused on the girl now.

“I’m scared, Tommy.”

“As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you.” He whispered in her ear. “I’m gonna take you back to my place.”

Tom sat in the backseat and placed her over his lap. He held onto her as if when he did let her go, she would disappear. He couldn’t help but let some tears fall on their way home when Harrison was driving to get there as fast as he could, but slow enough to not make her sick. It all came down to him and crushed his heart into smithereens. The avoiding, the unspoken truth… Tom couldn’t help but think this was all his fault. Nothing would've happened if he just went with her to that club and took care of her all night.

When he arrived, the twins were confused but understood when they saw (Y/N) in Tom’s arms. The older brother didn’t even talk to anyone else, going straight up to his bedroom with her place on his arms to take care of her. Harrison stood behind to fill the twins with everything that happened. Tom decided that she needed a shower and she needed to sober up.

“Love, can I give you a shower? I promise I won’t be too invasive.” He asked and she groaned.

“I think I can take a shower alone.” She said. “But stay close so I can call you if I don’t feel so good.”

“Okay.” He helped her get everything to shower, such as towels, her so loved products and anything else she asked, like a toothbrush.

He closed the door but still left it a little opened, in case she called him. Meanwhile he made his bed so they could lie down and sleep after such a stressful night. Tom was now feeling everything ten times worse at the silence of his bedroom and couldn’t help but let the tears fall from his eyes. It was all too much for him. Just the thought of having something happening to the girl he loves makes him feel weak and small.

He got one of his sweatpants, a t-shirt, clean boxers and socks, thinking that she would be comfortable in those. (Y/N) would hate him forever to make her wear those, but he didn’t have anything else to offer her. She didn’t take long in there, coming out wrapped around a towel and her eyes red from crying. Tom looked the same, but he tried to hide it, not successfully. 

“I got you some clothes so you can sleep in.” 

“Tommy, you know I don’t wear sweats.” She whined and he chuckled low.

“Come on, sunny. Just today.”

“Okay.” She was almost sleepwalking, but she noticed the drying tears falling from his face. “Why were you crying?”

“It’s just too much for me, baby. I think I need some sleep.” She nodded and gathered the clothes to put it on.

Tom turned around to give her some privacy while changing, but she soon was fully dressed and lying on his bed. His heart was completely broken to see her so weak and vulnerable. Usually (Y/N) was so full of life and always taking control of her decisions. But right now, she wasn’t herself and he felt lost whenever she was too. All he could do is hold her and pray that everything would be alright.

And Tom prayed. He stood awake all night holding her tightly and praying to anyone who could help him that she would be alright, and trying to give his heart some comfort. (Y/N) didn’t even say good night, or said anything at all. She just fell asleep holding onto the fabric of his pajama and soon was snoring on his chest. Praying was helping, but knowing she was safe and the soft sound of her snoring lulled him to sleep.

(Y/N) woke up the next morning with the worst headache in her life. At first, she was a little confused and it took a while to recognize where she was. But she relaxed when she turned around and found Tom deep in his sleep, with his arm thrown over her body and keeping her close. She couldn’t help but think that was the prettiest she’d ever seen him and it made her smile. His curls messily fell on the pillow and his expression was so serene. She would love to wake up to that everyday. But as much as she was enjoying the view, she really needed to use the bathroom.

She easily got out of his grip and ran to the bathroom to do her necessities. After she was done, she took the time to wash her teeth, clean her face and take a good look in the mirror. Her face was horrible, like she hadn’t slept in years. And she groaned a little when she saw what she was wearing, but it kind of smelled like Tom and she felt really comfortable in those. Maybe wearing sweats wasn’t so bad.

But what she needed the most was something to eat and painkillers to relieve the pain from her head. So she slowly and quietly made her way to the kitchen, thinking that everyone was still asleep, but she was terribly mistaken. Harrison was stirring a cup of tea when she arrived rubbing her eyes.

“Morning, Haz.”

“Morning, (Y/N). You feeling better?” He frowned and she shrugged.

“I don’t even know how to answer this question.” She groaned. “I want to pretend last night never happened because my head’s spinning and aching.”

“Here, take this.” He passed her the cup of tea, which she gladly accepted.

“Thank you.” She took a great gulp of the tea and it helped almost instantly.

“You know… If you wanna talk about what’s on your mind, I’m here to listen.”

“It’s just… last week I avoided Tom because I realised that I liked him a little more than I thought I did and I’m scared of how much I might love him.”

“Wow.” Harrison was speechless. She literally just confessed her feelings towards his best friend.

“But you know, it was killing me. And last night I was so stupid because I just wanted to forget everything that actually led me to the worst situation possible just because I’m scared of a feeling.” She tried to keep the tears from falling and it worked. 

“(Y/N), I’m gonna tell you something that Tom will kill me for doing that.” They both chuckled, but (Y/N) nodded for him to continue. “I don’t know why you are afraid of your own feelings, but I think you shouldn’t be. People might think you’re just a spoiled rich girl, that has life figured out and everyone on their feet. But you’re so much more than that; you’re kind and such a good person. Tom saw that on you and he fell for it. He’s so in love with you it’s pitiful.”

“He really is?” Her eyes were shining, wishing every single word he was saying was true.

“Of course he is. You seriously never noticed that? Tom’s been in love with you since the first time he laid his eyes on you in the middle of the street.” He chuckled. “But he never will admit this to anyone, not even to me, or to himself. So I guess that’s the reason he never told you. He’s also afraid of his feelings.” He sat next to her before continuing. “And I know for a fact that you’re in love with him too, even though you’re confused. So please just talk about it and be together! Because I’m tired of seeing you two not together.”

“Yeah, maybe it’s time for us to have a talk.” She nodded. “I don’t know if I’m ready though.”

“You’ll never be ready if you keep postponing it.” 

And Harrison left the room with that thought. He was right, at least that was what (Y/N) thought. She’s been postponing these feelings ever since Christmas, and time was passing by and she was wasting time without speaking up about those feelings. Everything was making her head hurt even more and she needed some time to vent and think about what to say.

But Tom was faster. He woke up when he didn’t feel her next to him anymore, but her clothes were still lying over the chair, so she didn’t leave yet. He took his time to do his morning routine and rushed downstairs to find her sitting on the couch all alone with a cup of tea on her hands and some tears streaming down her face. He silently sat next to her and almost instantly, she rested her head over his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, sunny?” Tom asked as he started to caress her hair and she sobbed on his shoulder.

“I can’t believe what happened last night.” She admitted. “If it weren’t for you, I might’ve been killed.”

“Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay now.” He pulled her into a bone crushing hug that immediately made her feel better.

“I feel stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, (Y/N). That guy was horrible and he was going to hurt you. But you have nothing to do with that, it’s not your fault.” He kissed the top of her head. “You’re here now. You’re safe and I’ll keep it that way until my last breath.”

(Y/N) looked up and noticed some tears pooling in his eyes, which made her crumble completely. He was just as messed up as she was. So she wiped them away and rubbed his cheek in order to give him and herself some comfort. She might be feeling horrible, but she was the reason he was crying.

“Don’t cry because of me.”

“I can’t help but think this is my fault too.” Tom said, keeping his voice low. “I should’ve been there to take care 

of you. No one should’ve touched a finger on you.”

“Tom, it’s okay. It’s not your fault too. Please, don’t cry.” She cried harder as she glued their foreheads.

“(Y/N), I love you. If anything serious happens to you, I will never forgive myself.”

And that was everything she needed to hear to make Harrison’s words come back to her. If what he said was true, Tom is in love with her. And so, she got the smallest courage to speak up about her feelings. It was small, but it was enough to make her confess.

“Tom, do you know why I don’t mind wearing these sweats?” He shook his head no and didn’t break eye contact with her. “Because it makes me feel like home.”

“You know you can be yourself right here and no one will ever judge you. This is your home too.”

“No, Tom. It feels like home because it smells like you, and you are my home.”

“You’re mine too.” He kissed the tip of her nose and made her smile. “I can do anything to protect you. And I wish I broke more of his face last night.”

She glanced down to his hands and noticed the bruises on his knuckles. She traced her fingers along with the bruises and brought his hand up to kiss it better. Both of their hearts were racing at that moment. That was probably their most intimate moment and it was the very first time they weren’t confused about their feelings. For the first time, it felt real and reciprocated.

“Tommy, I love you.” 

“I love you too, sunny.”

And with that, she glued their lips and made Tom surprised. She wasn’t under any influence at all; not underneath a mistletoe; not with three gin-tonics up her head. She was doing that because she wanted to. Tom took a couple of seconds to realise what was happening, but soon melted into the kiss and moved his lips so gently against hers. It wasn’t simple like the one they shared on Christmas and it wasn’t as hot as the one they shared on that drunk night. No, this one was like a confession to each other.

They confessed every single one of their feelings in the slowest kiss in the world. Every movement, every touch, it meant so much more. And they were actually enjoying it, more than any other moment together. But it didn’t last much longer, because they were dying to blurt out what they were feeling.

“I have something to confess to you.” Tom said against her lips, and she nodded. “That night you threw up and I got you home, we kissed and I confessed my feelings to you, but you didn’t remember. I thought that was the universe giving me a second chance to not screw things up and didn’t tell you.”

“You should have. Because I would’ve confessed my feelings for you too.”

“I was scared of losing you.” He admitted.

“Tom, you would never lose me. I’m forever, bitch. You’re stuck with me.” They laughed together.

“Thank God.” Tom pulled her for another quick kiss. “I love you so much, you have no idea.”

“Oh, I have. Because I love you so so so so much.” She pecked his lips again and pulled him to lie down. Both had the biggest smiles on their faces and were beyond happy for what was happening. “I can’t imagine my life without you Tom.”

“I can’t imagine mine without you, either.” 

“But soon we might have to.” She instantly felt down, but Tom made everything better by pressing soft kisses all over her face. “If we’re doing this, we have to start knowing we’ll have to do long distance in the near future.”

“I would do anything for you, even wait if you want to.” He assured. “(Y/N), you know I’ve never fallen in love with a girl and that’s why these feelings are strange to me. But when I met you, everything felt so right that I couldn’t help but fall a little deeper for you every second. I love everything about you; your dramas; your family issues; your good sense of humour. Everything that makes you be yourself is the reason why I’m in love with you.”

“Tom, I don’t even have words for what you just said to me.” She was crying again, this time out of pure joy. “You are just… you. That’s the reason why I love you. And I’m so grateful to have you in my life. Someone to make me feel loved and needed, in a moment when I felt like no one cared about me. You changed my life and I’ll owe you forever.”

“I don’t care if we’re gonna part ways when high school is done. I just wanna be with you.”

“Me too.” 

She glued their lips together again, but what started as an innocent kiss ended up in a heated makeout on the couch. Tom used his hands to keep himself steady over her, while she used her to pull him down and deepen the kiss. They didn’t hold anything back and explored each other’s bodies until they were sure they knew every single curve. They could stay like that forever, but Nikki woke up and when she went down to prepare her breakfast, she met the most awkward scene in the world.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She blurted out and rushed to the kitchen. Tom jumped out of (Y/N) and his eyes widened.

“Mom, I’m so sorry.” He started in the living room. (Y/N) followed him with the heaviest blush on her face.

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you finally kissed.” Nikki smirked and it made the blush even more. Tom searched for (Y/N)’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “So, this means you’re finally together?”

“I think so.” Tom looked at her for reassurance and she nodded with a smile.

“I want to if you want to.”

“That’s how you’re gonna ask me to be your boyfriend? How romantic!” Tom rolled his eyes and (Y/N) nudged him before pulling him back for a hug.

“You love me.” She whispered in his ear.

“I really do.” He kissed her neck and composed himself back to finish his conversation with his mother.

“I’m just glad you finally sorted everything out. I was getting tired of seeing you two being just best friends. But please, don’t make out on our couch at eight in the morning. By the way, why are you here at eight, (Y/N)?”

“Well, Nikki. Something happened last night…”

They told her the whole story because Tom never kept anything from her. But even though it was a bad night, it turned out to be just fine. Tom and (Y/N) were over the moon and it couldn’t get any better than this. They loved each other, just like that, and nothing would change it. Nikki was horrified with the story and asked (Y/N) to take more care of herself.

“I will, and now I have extra help.” (Y/N) looked at Tom with the biggest smile on her face and smiled back.

“I’m gonna take care of her, mom.” 

She nodded and started to make them all some breakfast. They never would’ve thought that after such a disturbed night, it would all end up just fine in the morning. Soon the whole family started to come down for breakfast, but they didn’t know anything about it. Harrison was the only one who got the clue when he saw Tom and (Y/N)’s wide smiles.

“You two are together, right?” Harrison smirked and (Y/N) nodded.

“We are.” She nodded and the twins’ mouth dropped.

“You are?” They said in unison.

“Thank God. I was getting tired of you two not being together.” Dom teased.

“Yeah, we talked it through this morning and it just happened.” Tom continued. “Took too long, uhm?”

“Way too long.” She pecked his lips so gently and quickly, but they already heard sick noises.

“You are gross.” Paddy groaned and the whole family laughed. “But I’m happy that (Y/N) is part of the family now.”

“Aren’t you jealous, Paddy?” Sam asked and his little brother shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess there’s no reason to be. She likes Tom anyway.” They all laughed again, but this time (Y/N) pressed a kiss on Paddy’s cheek, making him blush.

“Now you’re my brother too. Isn’t that cool?”

“Yeah, it is.” He smiled. “Welcome to the Hollands, (Y/N).”

“Thank you, Padster.”

Being part of the Hollands was special. They were the kind of family that cared about each other and that was exactly what (Y/N) needed in her life, a family that cared. Nikki was worried about her when she told what happened the previous night; Dom was glad she was okay; the twins took care of her just like she was their own sister, and Paddy just wanted to see her happy. That was the concept of a family she always wanted for herself, and even that Tom gave to her.

After the longest day with her new family and cuddling with her new boyfriend and best friend, (Y/N) decided it was time to go home. As much as she was enjoying being surrounded by comfort and happiness, she knew she had to go back to her mother. So many happened from the previous night to this very moment that (Y/N) didn’t even remember that anything else existed but Tom, and that’s the reason when she got home she was greeted with a furious Josephine.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), where were you last night?”

“Fuck, I forgot about texting you.”

“Yeah, you did!” Josephine gritted. “You said you were gonna crash at Courtney’s, but I ran into her mother on breakfast and she said not even Courtney came home last night. You lied to me and you spent the evening with this fucking idiot.” She pointed to Tom and it made (Y/N) angry.

“First of all, leave Tom out of this. He wasn’t even there last night and he’s the reason why I’m safe.” (Y/N) told her mother the full story from the previous night, which Josephine listened to carefully. “And I didn’t answer my phone today because I left it uncharged on my purse since last night.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

“I know, and I’m truly sorry.” (Y/N) said and Josie rolled her eyes.

“That’s the kind of influence that boy gives to you. Out partying, getting drunk, hooking up with random people. Nothing would’ve happened if you hadn't met him in the first place.”

“Mother, Tom has nothing to do with what happened last night. He saved me and you should be thanking him.”

Tom remained silent, not wanting to get into their fight. He didn’t have a place to speak up, even though it involved his now girlfriend. Family issues must be solved between the family, even though he was dying to stand up for his girl. 

“I will never thank him. You know I don’t like him.” “So you better start liking him, because he’s my boyfriend now.” A shot on Josie’s stomach would’ve been less harmful than this.

“He’s your what now?”

“My boyfriend.” Josie rolled her eyes and pointed to the door.

“I will never accept this. Get out of my house and I don’t want you to see my daughter ever again.” Tom was being dragged to the door, but (Y/N) got on the way.

“You don’t get to choose this.”

“Well, I don’t approve your relationship with him.”

“I don’t approve yours with that dirty boyfriend either. But you still haven’t expelled him.”

“I don’t care. You’re leaving.” Josephine called the elevator and (Y/N) gathered all of her stuff.

“I’m leaving too. I’m sick of you doing this to me. I’m moving with dad.” Josephine stopped what she was doing and noticed the tears in her daughter's eyes. “I can’t stand to see my mother against my happiness.”

“(Y/N)...” Josie spoke softly.

“No! Shut up!” She pulled Tom into the elevator and didn’t even wave goodbye before leaving.

When the elevator door closed, (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Tom and cried as her whole life depended on it. She was tired of leaving her apartment crying, and she was tired of its reason being her mother getting between her relationship with Tom. But she swore that was the last time she was going to leave like this.

“I’m sorry I didn’t stand up for you. I didn’t want to get between you and your mother.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She had her face buried on the crook of his neck so he wouldn’t see her face.

“Are you okay?”

“No, but I’m gonna be. I have you.” She leaned back and he rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

“What do you wanna do now?” He looked right into her eyes, wanting more than anything to know what she was thinking about for real. She knew she couldn’t hide much from Tom and that’s why she shrugged, because she didn’t know what to do.

“Can you take me to my father’s and stay with me there tonight? I wanna be surrounded by people I love.”

“Of course.” He kissed the top of her head and held her tightly. “We’re gonna get through this.”

“I know we will.”

To say the day started perfectly and ended up badly was an understatement. In less than 24 hours they were introduced to what they were gonna have to get through together if they wanted to be together. But as they already knew, their love was stronger than anything.

That’s why Tom took her to her father’s place and helped her tell him everything. They ruined Vincent’s and his girlfriend’s dinner night, but they didn’t seem to mind. Instead, they decided to stay home and take care of (Y/N), who had decided about moving in with her father, who gladly accepted her.

“I’m sorry for being a burden to you, dad.”

“(Y/N), you’re my daughter. You’ll never be a burden. And if you want to live with me until you go to college, or for the rest of your life, the doors will always be opened for you.”

“Thank you so much.” She hugged him very tightly and Vincent watched Tom let out a relief sigh when they did it. 

“And just so you two know, I’m glad you finally got together. I really like and trust you, Tom.” Vincent said and Tom nodded.

“Thank you, Mr (Y/L/N). I promise to not let you down and that I’ll take care of her.”

“I know you will, kid.” Vincent nodded. “Why don’t you go take a good shower and we’ll order some food to have dinner together.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” She pecked Tom’s lips quickly and left for the bathroom. When she left, her father spoke up.

“I always knew you were perfect for my girl, from the very first moment I met you. And I know she ain’t the easiest person to deal with, but I know that she loves you will all of her heart.”

“I love her too. Like I’ve never loved anybody else.”

“I know.” Vincent smiled. “Don’t let her go so easily, boy. She’s special and you know it.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Tom smiled back.

And with the ultimate blessing for their relationship, Tom knew that even though they might face some problems, they would be alright because that’s how love works. As long as they had each other, no one can hurt them.

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[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3