#this got so long i am so fucking sorry xD

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[ronance4everbrainrot]

GLAAAASSSSSHEAAAART INCORRECT QUOTESSSSSS. because I missed them (long?)

(and other ships)

Red: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Chloe: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

(Fight of our lives basically)

---

Red: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Mal: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Chloe.

Red, pointing their hot glue gun towards Mal: You’re on thin fucking ice.

(canon)

-now Chloe and her Mentor-

Chloe: How do I make a date really romantic?

Evie: Be mysterious.

Chloe: Okay!

*later, while on a date with Red*

Red: So where are we going?

Chloe: None of your fucking business.

(Red teases her about it on their next dates)

---

Mal: Evie, I know you love Chloe. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.

Mal: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.

(she's the smartest dumbass. or dumbest smartass?)

---

Red: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Chloe: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Chloe: Would you like me to tutor you?

Evie: That was smooth.

(Evie is proud. Mal is losing 20 bucks. why? Bet)

---

Red: Do you want to know your gay name?

Chloe: My... my gay name?

Red: Yeah, it's your first name-

Chloe: Haha. Very funny Red-

Red: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Chloe: Oh- oh my god.

(Mal, proud: Now that was smooth)

---

Mal: Why are you guys acting like this?

Red: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

(sigh)

---

Evie: Mal? I mixed redbull with coffee and now I can see sounds, should I worry?

Mal: Evie, I swear to god—

(Evie. Stop doing that. You need sleep don't overwork yourself. I love her Qvq)

---

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Mal: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Mal: Oh my god, you have Evie.

(the good old Isle days)

---

Celia : I am a ninja.

Mal: No, you’re not.

Celia : Did you see me do that?

Mal: Do what?

Celia : Exactly.

(canon)

---

Mal: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Celia : Sorry, I have to go do literally anything other than this.

Mal: You don’t even have a legitimate reason?

Celia : Oh, no, I do.

Mal: Well, what is it?

Celia : You see, I simply don’t give a fuck.

(she loves to annoy Mal. Little annoying sister. Canon)

---

Celia: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.

Dizzy: Where were they?

Celia: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.

Dizzy, impressed: Damn, they really went for it.

(it was Uma, wasn't it? That's literally canon XD)

---

Celia: Here comes the lightning!

Celia, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard.

Dizzy: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

(and they were roommates, your Honor) (wow they were roommates) (The bestest of friends)

---

Red: N... No!

Celia: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

(Red is trying to deny her crush on Chloe. Ha.)

---

Dizzy: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Dizzy is such a nice person, Dizzy is so happy-go-lucky! Dizzy can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Dizzy CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Dizzy IS be in a bad mood.

(Yas Queen. Queen of Mean? So last season. Queen of Bad Mood? So in!)

---

Mal: You tricked me!

Audrey: I deceived you. ‘Trick’ makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.

(Maybe Queen of Mean isn't so last season.)

---

Dizzy: Comparing Audrey and Mal is like comparing apples and oranges.

Mal: We’re both unique in our own ways?

Dizzy: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

Audrey: Which one of us is the orange? (It's me, isn't it?)

(Damn Dizzy. Queen of Bad Mood taking the lead)

---

*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

Chloe: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

Evie: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

Red: What about Dizzy? Nobody ever suspects Dizzy!

Dizzy: Well what about Audrey? They have a gun!

Audrey: Celia has a knife.

Celia : Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Red in the arm*

(where is Uma? oh-. I bet it was Audrey. How else do you show you love someone? They are having their Killing Eve moment)

---

Audrey: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).

Uma: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).

Mal: How are you talking like that in real life?

Uma: Witchcraft (derogatory).

(canon. They late/hove each other)

---

Dizzy, talking about Evie: They're trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on them! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now!

(before Evie got through to her on the Isle 🥲)

---

Mal: *running towards Celia with open arms*

Celia: *moves out of the way*

Mal: Hey, why'd you move?!

Celia: I thought you were going to attack me.

Mal: I was going to hug you!

Celia: Why would you hug me?

Mal: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

(OOF. Lol)

---

Celia : I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

(yuh)

---

Mal: Wow, this sucks. I’m gonna kill *remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health and that the first step to healing is stopping* you.

(she's getting there. Go queen)

-will add more of the boys in the next one-

Carlos: Are you laughing at that video of Ben and Harry fighting?

Jay: No.

Jay: I'm laughing at the comments.

(the comments saying "Ha! Gaaaay" etc.)

---

Carlos: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Jay. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Jay!

Gil: Nope.

Carlos: In that case, as the archbishop of Gil's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Jay right on the lips!!!

(Damn Carlos. Yes. Thanks for helping Gil. Everyone needs Carlos as a best friend)

---

Harry: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Jay without them noticing?

Gil: Hey, Jay, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Jay: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Harry: ...

(same Harry, same. But then again not that surprised)

---

Now this is for @corgiplays for context here

Chloe: Earl, I sense hostility.

Earl: Good, because I hate you.

(accurate?)

---

Earl, entering the room: *Sees Chloe and leaves*

Chloe, watching Earl leave: There’s my monthly dose of the Cat…

(Earl didn't leave before pushing one of Chloe's things tho)

---

Chloe: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Red: For the dogs.

Chloe: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Red: They don't know how.

(I want Red to be able to cook lol. That can't even be a headcanon tho, that has to be an AU lol)

---

Earl: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Biscuit: ...what happened?

Earl: I made a VERY bad mistake.

(Oof)

---

Biscuit: Don’t be sad!

Red: Why not?

Biscuit:

Biscuit: I don’t have a good answer.

(Red acts like she can understand him. Imagine his responses lol. But she basically can)

---

Chloe: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Earl: I'm aware of that.

Chloe: But then you and I had some time together.

Earl: Uh-huh?

Chloe: It did not get better.

(It did. Stop lying. Also Chloe does the same thing as Red. I mean honestly who doesn't talk to their little furry friends.)

---

Red: You don't know anything about me!

Biscuit: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children!

(Damn. If Red could actually understand him she'd be flabbergasted)

--and just because I love it so much. Here is that one again

Chloe, gently nudging Earl aside with their foot: Earl, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Earl, her eyes enormous: You kick Cat? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Chloe! Jail for Chloe for one thousand years!

(she is purposely laying in the way tho. And then acts like Chloe hurt her when Red hears her distressed meows)

---

That's it

Hope you liked it.

Byeeee

[sillysiluriforme]

So, I know Chlogami subtexts are definitely, wonderfully, apparently, hopefully gonna be a thing. But I wanted to share some Chlogami thoughts cos these two are kind of like opposite sides of the same coin.

A really quick & easy comparison is how both of them will got to an audition in fully kitted out, personalized gear, basically declare themselves the hottest shit and dare anyone to prove otherwise.

They also are both very much no hesitation, blunt people who can become intensely driven or focused on a subject or person very quickly and for reasons all their own.

Both have a strong competitive streak and no small iota of pride in everything from themselves to their families and reputation. Both are also heavily driven to seek the approval of a cold & aloof mother figure.

Also they are both very athletic, 8 years at Paris's most intense ballet school is not for nothing. Also they tend to be fairly fearless in regards to Akuma. Like Chloe will briefly panic but so long as she doesn't die right away she's just like, "Fuck you & the butterfly you rode in on" and Kagami is down to fight anything, anyway were anytime.

The big differences tend to come in a couple of notable ways too however:

One, their mothers, Tomoe at least got the memo that being a parent means raising a person to participate in society and while her expectations and treatment of Kagami are far from healthy they are nominally attainable. In contrast Audrey has zero interest & her expectations/desires are seemingly for Chloe to stop existing at best.

This gives Kagami focus and goals, while Chloe kind of just flounders.

Then there's a sort of base temperament angle, Kagami when stressed & upset tends to shut down and collapse inwards. While Chloe tends to melt down very externally.

Also I tend to feel both are kind of not great at social cues.

There's obviously other differences too, but yeah I feel they are sort of like, the kind of people who could meet and either hate one another intensely, be ready to make out after like one interaction, or have an extremely elaborate and drawn out rivals to lovers, rivals to mutual self destruction and eventual murder arc very easily.

I am very fond of them XD

sorry all im hearing is sentimonster chloe

[liliewrites]

Requesting a NSFW transfem! Arle with fem!reader who works at the hearth & arle simps for reader but like reader is oblivious to all that cus like she's surrounded by kids almost 24/7. Somehow reader convinced Arle to bring the kids to a beach (I am not even sure if there's a beach in Fontaine but let's assume so XD). So on beach day, bringing a whole bunch of kids means a bunch of guards gotta be there (cus safety). So Arle sees reader wearing a bikini with a sash(is that what it's called I have no idea) since it's like hot out and then arle gets a pretty bad boner & rails reader in her room privately after the day at the beach. Since arle got jealous of the stares reader gets from the guards. (Sorry if its very long & no pressure.)

lmaoooo bare with me anon, this is giving me brainrot... jealous arlecchino. also forgive me if the ending is a little silly and my writing isn't that great waksjdk i rlly didn't know how to end it and this was supposed to be just a thirst lmaoo. anyw i hope u like this!!:))

- warning/s : transfem! arlecchino, jealous sex, creampie.

(men and minors dni under the cut!)

filthy, disgusting, outrageous-

oh, but arlecchino was not better than her men. those men- ogling and staring at you. it irritated her to no end. to her defense, she was simply watching over you and the children, it's not like she was busy staring at your.. pretty tits, nor was she staring at your.. plump ass. arlecchino was a woman of duty and responsibility, she was just here to watch over the kids, yes. as the father and head of the house of hearth, it was her job to ensure the safety-

oh who was she kidding? "fuck.."

she cursed under her breath, no matter how hard she convinced herself, she could not suppress her rushing emotions- especially the blood rushing down her pants. she let out a frustrated groan. oh, oh, archons, the fatui guards who were ogling at you were making her blood rush in annoyance, and your pretty figure exposed in broad daylight made blood rush in her pants. she couldn't help it anymore, she couldn't just stand by and watch you get eye-fucked by the guards.

she got up with a scoff. her tall stature, straight and stiff shoulders coupled with an annoyed glare was what greeted the guards.

"you buffoons, stop slacking off and watch the kids." she scolded them, not needing to raise her voice. they were not kids, they didn't need to be told twice to do their jobs properly, and hopefully the guards had immediately understood that she caught them staring at who was supposed to be hers, and had made it clear to not make the mistake of doing so again- or they will be fucked up.

after doing that, however, arlecchino could not afford any more time pass by without her making it also clear to you what you were making her feel- it was annoying her, it was getting on her nerves- how you act so clueless about the feelings she’d been trying to convey across to you for the past few days. so the harbinger walked towards you, grabbing your wrist with no explanation whatsoever.

much to your fear (and.. delight?), she brought you to her private room that she had rented for herself during the house of hearth’s whole stay at the beach, shoving you in just enough to force you inside her room, but not too much to actually make you fall on the floor.

"f-father? what's wrong-"

"do not call me father, woman. i am done playing these stupid little games with you."

pray tell, you were confused about what she said and you really wanted to know what she was talking about, as you were currently cowering in fear under the knave's harsh glare. she refused that you call her father, and she spoke with a tone that dripped with irk making you unsure of how to properly react to her as you were scared that you’d anger her further. "m-my lord, i am confused. what is it that you mean?" you asked, and she grabbed your wrist once more, pushing you on the bed and pinning you down.

"my dear, do not act coy with me. i have done all that i can to convey my feelings towards you, and yet you let those filthy men drool and fantasize about what i wish to claim as mine?"

you let arlecchino's words register for a moment. acting coy? feelings? claim as hers?

the dumbfounded look on your face was enough to make arlecchino realize that you had indeed not been able to grasp her feelings, you were not acting coy, nor were you pretending to be clueless. you really, really, didn’t know.

— for her whole life as an underling of the fatui and as a harbinger, a master of wearing a mask of apathy, a trained actor in the field of faux cruelty, she has never been able to experience embarrassment to this degree, and besotted! she couldn’t believe it was because of silly, petty feelings of romance.

she immediately moved away, feeling guilty and ashamed of her own actions, but mostly annoyed at herself- and those damned fatui guards. they were the reason for her acting this way, they were the reason, they-

you, however, noticed the little.. bump in her pants while sat there in silence, seemingly lost in thought (she was busy convincing herself it was the guards’ fault). you were as flustered as she was, of course, but seeing arlecchino, the feared knave, turned on and vulnerable because of you? it was plain to see that you had a little confidence boost and you ended up provoking the said harbinger, catching her off guard.

"my lord, is.. this because of me?" "what do you think, milaya?" "i don't know. i asked you because i do not know why you are so aroused and turned on, my lord. could it be because of someone else? oh, oh boo.”

now, now arlecchino was sure that this form of teasing from you was intentional. she looked at you with a rather dark stare, her earlier annoyed expression returning to her face, and she clicked her tongue.

”i was about to forgive you for being oblivious towards my displays of affection, but your behavior right now is inexcusable, my dear.”

she crawled back towards you, and you could feel a rush of adrenaline through your veins. you were no longer afraid, as you were sure that the knave held some sort of sentimental feelings towards you — you were unsure for now what it was, but to know that you were important to her, oh, it made you feel confident.

”milaya, accuse me one more time of loving another woman, consider this a warning, but i will definitely have to show you these feelings that pester me day and night because of you.”

”then show me, my lord, must i admit? i do not know the identity of the woman whom you clearly fantasize enough about to make you have such a.. hard-on”

oh, you’ve definitely pushed enough of arlecchino’s buttons today but now you really were riling her up on purpose? needless to say, no more words were exchanged between you, and the pretty little bikini that caused all this jealous fiasco of hers was ripped off of you (with the promise that arlecchino would buy you a new one, a better one.) and now you were face-front and pushed down against the bed.

oh, she definitely was not small. you could feel her fill you up and stretch you out. deep, harsh, thrusts were the only thing you felt. your senses were overstimulated with the sensations of her, everything was just her now. your mind was hazy, but all you could see was her white and black locks, framing her handsome face. all you could smell was her slightly woody smell, along with the musk coming from the love-making you both were currently doing. all you could hear was her grunts and your incoherent cries of her name. all you could taste were her lips pressed against yours, her tongue running against your lips as she separates. all you could feel were her hands gripping on your wrists, her hips slamming against yours and her dick reaching spots you never knew could even be reached, oh, oh and the overwhelming sensation of those little jolts of pleasure whenever she rammed against you. everything was just her, her and her—

”m-my lord, i-i can’t-”

”silence, you’ve irked me enough, take it.”

“milaya, my dear. oh how i’ve waited for this..” she grumbled in your ear, bringing you slightly back to your senses, before biting down on your skin that caused you to be fully awake and aware of everything again. the speed of her thrusts increasing but her rhythm had started to falter. it made you whine and whimper, you could barely understand what she was saying, the pleasure was messing with your train of thought.

”those dirty.. dirty bastards, staring at you- well too bad, because i am the one who’s fucking you right now. mine, mine. i could barely stand it.”

the jealousy on her face, the scowl and her gritted teeth as she continued fucking you to no end despite you already clawing at the sheets with how close you are. you could tell, her feelings were genuine, and if you weren’t fucking you’d be a flustered mess- not that you currently weren’t a mess. just a different kind. her lips wrapped itself around your pretty little nips, sucking on it and playing with it using her tongue in a rather aggressive manner. biting every now and then on your chest too, creating purple splotches on your skin that made her feel proud to see. however, with every single movement that she did to you, you inched closer to the edge.

as her lips latched onto that one particular spot on your neck, licking it, biting it— you swear you felt yourself black out for a moment, something snapping in your lower region and your whole body arched and convulsed. you’ve never felt an orgasm this intense. it felt so good. so fucking good, not just for you- but for arlecchino too.

”f-fuck, milaya, you take me so good- i-i- fuck-”

with a loud curse, her hips stilled and shook, slamming deep into you and you felt warmth flood your insides while you were still feeling the ebbs of your high. it made you have mini convulsions, as you were extremely sensitive from how rough she was pounding into you. panting, breathless, she didn’t pull out but she did collapse on top of you. her face shoved in your neck, and you knew she felt embarrassed as she refused to face you.

as you called her that title, she got on her elbows and hovered on top of you, looking at you with a stern stare. “milaya, you are free to call me by my name and not by any title anymore. please, call me by my name.” she requested, and it was.. so different from her commanding tone that you got used to. your heart melted at the noticeable vulnerability she was showing you, and it made you smile. “okay, arlecchino. i take it that we should go back to the beach and see the kids?” the sound of her name rolling of your tongue made her feel bliss, but the next few words that came from your mouth had reminded her of today's earlier events.

”.. my dear, i was not too rough with you, was i? i didn’t force myself on you, did i?”

”no, my lord.”

oh, right, the beach. arlecchino shook her head at the thought, knowing that the guards were there. she scoffed at the thought and returned to her previous position of burying her face in your neck.

“no. let’s stay here.”

”- but the kids- a-arlecchino!”

”i’m afraid that we’ll have to stay here for awhile, my dear. i have not shown enough of my love to you, and i wish to make it clear to whom you belong to.”

before you could even protest, she gently thrusted her hips once more to cut you off. “no, milaya, we stay here. who said i was done disciplining you?” she told you, voice low followed by a groan.

her pace was slow but deep, you could feel every inch of her rubbing against your sensitive walls. it made you tremble once more that you couldn’t find it in you to answer back anymore.

safe to say, you were unable to come out of the room for the rest of the day nor the following. you were worried about the kids and the kids were worried about you— but you were safe here in arlecchino’s room, and they were safe under the guards’ surveillance, otherwise they’d have to face execution if anything ever happened to them. surely, it wouldn’t be selfish of arlecchino have you all to herself without any distraction for a day, yes? it was a vacation after all!:3

a/n : owjhasjdh my bad, i forgot to include this, but milaya ("милая") is a russian endearment used for feminine lover hihi.

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Jaded - Charlie Weasley

A/N: so, I know that the last thing I should be doing right now is start another series… and yet… here we are xD also, I’m sorry, I know She Is Love won, but I think we have established by now that my mind kind of does whatever it wants and I have no control whatsoever xD it’s all chaos here… anyways, I hope you like it :) 

Request -  Anonymous asked: Hello, I hope you’re doing okay my lovely. I was wondering if you could possibly wite maybe a enemies/rivals to lovers with Charlie Weasley and the reader? (Lots of sarcastic banta back and forth maybe they both work on the dragon reserve and are entrusted with transporting a very dangerous dragon to a new reserve, but something happens on the journey and just them to are trapped (either with the dragon or not) and then an argument that leads to some form of confession? This is so long I’m so bloody sorry, and I hope your writers block subsides [full request here]

Warnings: Charlie’s a bit of an asshole [but not really] for now, I think that’s it but please let me know if I’m missing something, also reader is from the Nott family

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D     

Your name: submit What is this?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Jaded

Hey…j-j-jaded… you got your mama’s style, But you’re yesterday’s child to me. So jaded, you think that’s where it’s at, But is that where it’s supposed to be?You’re gettin’ it all over me… X-rated

Charlie fucking Weasley.

That stupid name had haunted you for more than ten years now. There were very few people you hated in your life but his name was definitely on that list.

After enduring seven years of him at Hogwarts, you thought you’d finally be free when he was being drafted to play Quidditch professionally and you would move to Romania to fulfill your dreams of studying dragons. But no, for some stupid twist of fate, he decided not to become a Quidditch player and all of the sudden there was another opening at the exact Romanian Dragon Sanctuary that you had applied to so, again, here he was. And it seemed that no matter what you did, you were never able to escape Charlie fucking—

“WEASLEY!” you yelled when you finally spotted him, not far from your hut.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite princess” you heard his voice as you approached him. “How can I help you, love?” he asked, brushing his hair away from his face, showing off his stupid tattoos on his stupid strong arms.

“I have asked you many times, to stop calling me that!” you glared at him. “I need to speak with you” you said, before you went back into your hut and he only raised his eyebrow before following you.

“Is this how you treat your guests, love?” he said, walking in and leaning on your desk as he started going through your stuff.

“I didn’t invite you” you smirked.

“You just did” he glared a little at you.

“Don’t be confused, Weasley, this is strictly business” you glared at him.

“Of course it is” he chuckled. “Are you working on the Sleeping Draught for the dragons? Weren’t we supposed to work on this together?”

“Yes, that is correct, Weasley. Excuse me for not wanting to wait 45 minutes to see you flirting with the group of girls casually visiting the reserve today” you told him.

“Oh, so you did notice that” he smiled. “Sorry, love, you must remember how it is” he said, brushing a hand through his curls and flashing his smile at you as you rolled your eyes. “I mean, I had a complete section cheering for me back at school” he shrugged.

“Oh, yes. How could I forget?” you asked, sarcastically.

“You don’t have to be so mean about it” he pouted. “Why are you making so much of it?” he asked, grabbing one of the phials.

“Why did I just find out that you are coming with me to Hogwarts, Weasley?”

“I asked first, Nott” he smirked, winking at you.

“Could you please not mess up my things?” you said glaring at him, knowing he did it just to anger you. “I am making more because we are bringing four dragons, not three” you explained.

“What? That doesn’t make sense, why? Isn’t it just three champions?”

“Well, obviously something happened, and now there’s four” you explained. “Now tell me why Steven just informed me that you are coming. Evan was supposed to bring them with me” you insisted.

“Tah-dah!” he smiled. “Surprise, darling! Looks like something came up and you got an upgrade so I’m coming with you instead” he smiled.

“Feels like a downgrade” you muttered.

“Hey!” he said, placing his hand on his chest and looking at you pretending to be hurt. “How can you say that? This is going to be so much fun. You, me, back at Hogwarts, like the good old days” he smiled flirtily at you. “Remember?”

“I’m not sure what days you’re remembering, Weasley” you said pushing him away. “But good is not what I would use to describe them” you told him.

“Of course not” he rolled his eyes, grabbing another bottle on your desk and throwing it in the air before grabbing it again.

“Give me that!” you said, grabbing it from him.

“Okay, so, since we’re getting four-” he said, as he grabbed one of your notepads.

“Stop saying we. You’re not coming with me” you glared at him.

“Oh, I beg to differ, love, see here?” he said, pointing at the paper you had earlier. “That’s my name, right next to yours” he smiled. “It’s official” he added. “So, let’s see what you’re bringing” he said, looking through your notes. “Chinese Fireball, Swedish Short-Snout, Common Welsh Green” he muttered. “Oh, I know, we should take the Hungarian Horntail we got last week” he smiled.

“What? Absolutely not!”

“Why not? That would be perfect” he said, grabbing a quill and adding it to the list.

“Weasley, that is one of the most dangerous dragon breeds and you want to take her to a school full of young students, do you have any idea how irresponsible that is?”

“Relax, it’s for the first task, I doubt it’ll be anything dangerous. Plus that’s why we’re going.

“No! We should take an Antipodean Opaleye” you said, trying to grab the notepad from him but he placed it out of your reach.

“Oh, come on, love. Live a little, I would have killed to see a Hungarian Horntail at that age” he smirked. “Nothing bad is gonna happen. We won’t let it” he insisted.

“You haven’t even spent time with her, Weasley, I have. I am telling you this isn’t a good idea!”

“What isn’t a good idea?” you both stopped when your boss, Steven stepped inside your hut.

“Well, we were just talking about how the fourth dragon should be the Hungarian Horntail” Charlie quickly said. “It was actually (Y/N)’s idea” he smiled.

“No, it wasn’t! I was saying that we should take the Antipodean Opaleye!”

“Come on, love, we are already taking a Common Welsh Green, we should bring something more exciting” Charlie insisted as he passed the notepad to Steven.

“I just don’t think that this-”

“I’m with Weasley” Steven said, before you could even finish. Of course, he was. Not because Steven was a jerk. He was actually a good boss. But this was the story of your life. Charlie would get away with anything he wanted. “I think the Hungarian Horntail would be an interesting choice. Plus, you’re going and if anyone can handle her, it’s you, (Y/N)” he smiled. “I’ll go make the arrangements while you finish the potion” he said, leaving your hut before you could argue.

“See? Lovely idea” Charlie smirked.

“Why did you do that? I’m telling you is not a good idea to bring her. She’s still settling in the idea of being around people-”

“You worry to much, love” he said, grabbing your phial and throwing it in the air again, but this time, he accidentally dropped it. “Uh-oh” he said, before smiling innocently at you as you took a deep breath. “That wasn’t… part of the Sleeping Draught potion, was it?”

“You mean the potion we’re giving to the, now four, dragons we have to transport that you were supposed to be helping me with 45 minutes ago?” you asked, upset.

“Uh-”

“Yes, Weasley, that was part of the potion” you told him.

*-*Flashback*-*

“Well, look who finally decided to show up” you said, annoyed, as Charlie entered the class and ran over to your desk. You couldn’t believe you were stuck with him as your Potions partner for the entire year.

“Sorry, princess. Practice ran late” he smiled, sitting next to you.

“Don’t call me princess. And I don’t understand how being in the Quidditch team gives you immunity so you can show up whenever you want to and work on half a potion” you said, as you added the next ingredient.

“Come on, love. Don’t hate on the team” he said smirking at you. “Everyone loves the team!”

“Oh, yeah, I have such a deep admiration for guys who fly around in sticks with other guys” you said with a sly smirk.

“I know you’re joking, but when you use that sexy voice, you know it turns me on a little” he mocked you.

“Ugh, I can’t stand you!”

“Then sit down” he smirked. 

“Shut up! And help me with this thing, or I’m taking your name off the Potion” you said, as he saw the potion you were making on your book.

“Ugh, give it, you’re doing it wrong!”

“Excuse me? I have brewed the Volubilis Potion many times before, Weasley. And I am already halfway through, without your help. I am not doing it wrong!” you snapped frustrated.

“Yes, you are!” Charlie said grabbing the jar of Syrup of Hellebore from your hand but you didn’t let it go.

“No! Give it!” you said pulling it towards you.

“Ugh! You stuck-up, know-it-all drag!”

“Take that back you pompous Quidditch nut!” you argued, neither of you noticing Professor Snape coming towards your table.

“Mr. Weasley, Miss Nott-”

“Give it, Nott!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Fine!”

Charlie hadn’t been prepared for you to let it go and he ended up dropping the whole thing on the cauldron making it explode all over Professor Snape’s face. When you heard the small explosion, the entire class went dead silent and the two of you slowly turned to see your teacher’s face covered in soot.

“You two. Detention. Tonight. My office” Professor Snape said; as you both resisted with everything you had to not laugh at the change of his voice. “50 points off Gryffindor and 30 off Slytherin” he said before walking to his desk again.

“That’s not fair!” Charlie argued.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking in in the middle of my class, Mr. Weasley” he added.

“Ugh! Thanks a lot” Charlie snapped at you.

“Me? You’re blaming me? You’re the one who dropped it!”

“Only because you wouldn’t let it go!”

“Enough!” you heard Professor Snape from the front of the class. “Both of you out of my classroom!” he said standing up.

“But I wasn’t-”

“NOW!”

“See what you did?” Charlie said once you were outside.

“Me? I had never been kicked out of a class or had detention for that matter! This is all your fault!”

“No, it’s not! You were making it wrong!” he insisted.

“UGH! Just because you’re the Captain of your bloody team, you think you’re the boss of everything! And everyone!” you snapped frustrated.

“It’s not my fault you can’t stand to be wrong!”

“You are so… so-”

“Charming?” he said smirking and raising his eyebrow at you.

“Vexing!” you snapped, as you walked down the hall but he followed you.

“Really? Well, you’re no ray of sunshine either!” he glared at you. “‘Oh, look at me, I’m (Y/N) Nott. I’m a patronizing know-it-all princess who thinks is better than anybody else!’” he said mocking your voice.

“Ugh! I don’t talk like that! You’re infuriating!”

“You know what? I hope you fail all your NEWT’s!”

“Yeah? I hope you go bald!”

“I hope you end up an old spinster!”

“I hope they cancel Quidditch!”

“Take that back!” Charlie snapped.

“Make me!” you said smirking at him.

“You know what? I hope that once we graduate here, I won’t ever have to see your conceded face again!” he said, before turning around and leaving for the Gryffindor tower.

“My thoughts exactly, Weasley” you muttered to yourself before walking to the Library.

*-*End of Flashback*-*

“We can fix it, love. Don’t worry” he said, cleaning up the mess. “See? Just like old times” he smiled. “This is gonna be fun, princess!”

“Don’t call me that” you glared at him, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to contain yourself. 

Yes, you had one very big problem. His name is Charlie fucking Weasley. And you have no fucking idea how you’re supposed to survive the next few weeks with him. 

To Be Continued

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: so… part 2?

[allastoredeer]

Hello I had this dream last night and I need to share it with you!!!

We know the whole crew is invited to the Cannibal Cookout for the weekend.

So I imagine Al is gonna let cameras take pictures of him and Lucifer, that way the headline of his relationship with the king of hell will reach the seven pentagram faster(it was showed that he can take pictures when he wants to, since vox kept one). But that also mean he is gonna be exposed for the first time in probably forever. Like he is known for his terrifying radio podcast, which means that not many ppl know about his true form, especially new born sinners. So I can only imagine the surprise of those people to see the radio demon , the scariest overlord of them all, being a cute deer with a a fluffy tail and all the package that comes with it. Also Alastor mentioned to Lucy to ‘Wear your Sunday best.”, which might imply that he is gonna wear something nice as well…

It would be hilarious if Half of hell will start simping for Alastor and downright ignoring Lucifer.

I can imagine the internet exploding with Alastor pictures and people going like 'aww his ears are moving’ or something, sinners go as far as make fan club about him, meanwhile a certain picture box is having a mental breakdown…

~Valentino: “u know u can just say it that u want him”

~Vox: “Alright alright fuck yea I do and so Does half of hell. God damn it”

Meanwhile Angel reading through the chaos Alastor just unleashed

“oh he is so stealing my job already”

Lmao

OFC In all of this Al is completely oblivious about the situation he caused, so the crew tries to keep him out the flow, to not freak him out, which it’s not hard at all, since the dude doesn’t have a phone, but he does get a bit suspicious when Lucifer makes him wear something to cover his upper body, almost as far as making him wear an hat and glasses lol(I don’t see Lucifer as being who enjoys losing himself on new trends and gossip on the internet, so Angel probably showed him a innocent picture of them, but Lucy made the bad choice to go read through the comments. Nonetheless to say he was scarred for life, and decided to take it upon himself to protect Alastor’s privacy)

Also Alastor can probably sense when someone takes pictures of him, twitching his eyes and tail but otherwise leaves it be for the sake of maintaining the charade.

This was it ehehe, I kinda felt bad I woke up from that dream, I honestly wanted to know how it ended.

Either way I can’t wait to see how u are planning to go with it. Cause I just know u are gonna make me love every second of it😆👌

thank you for listening

Ps I wrote this at 5 in the morning a week ago, and I am not sure if I already sent it to u or my mind is playing tricks to me…so I am sorry if u already got the message.

Heheheheh I love this! You have the BEST dreams. I'm so in love with most of Hell not knowing Alastor, or not really remembering what he looked like, since he's been gone (and Hell is expanding by the thousands every day, so of course there would be people who don't know him).

And so they see him for the first time and it's such a stark difference to what they were expecting XD He's developing a fan-base and Lucifer has to scare them all of (otherwise Alastor WILL murder. He will).

And no worries! I did get the ask from earlier! Sometimes, if it takes me a long time to get to an ask, that's because I want to draw some doodles for it like the pics above ^.^

[cookie-crumblr]

i’d hump jaspers boot💔 but i’d also suck on lucy b00bs💔 its hard to choose when youre a pervy loser for both

DW nonnie, mama cookie’s got chu bb <3

MINORS DNI!!!

CW: M!reader, reader referred to as he/him, reader has a penis, sub reader, PERVY LOSER READER <3, M!Masturbation, dry humping, titty job, bj, double hj, p in b(jasper’s p in reader’s b), lots of teasing reader, anal fingering, spanking (just once ;3), scent kink, reader forced to panty sniff and then again on our own, exhibition, bullying, orgasm denial, overstim, not proofread like at all i’m sorry XD

🪓🧸Lucy~

I imagined first an alternate route where you perv over her since the start. instead of in Lucky🎀 i wanna expound this one XD like just have reader masturbate all the time to her, but i also just wanted them to FUCK. XD!!!!

status: First known introductions

“Just because Ezra’s too scared of your lil girlfriend to touch you, doesn’t mean I am” The group of guys shove you against the rattling wall in the locker room.

They had pushed you into the women’s locker room on campus. You don’t know Lucy either, you’ve only ever perved over her, so you aren’t sure why they’re saying girlfriend, or why Ezra would be scared of her.

Two of the guys in the group broke into Lucy’s gym locker, which happened to have a really expensive looking pink bag in it.

They tore through it as if it were plastic, and out came a pair of her frilly, baby blue panties, covered in lace and ribbons. “What are you—” You start, before the article is shoved into your face.

You’re forced to inhale, a very sweet but, very naughty scent permeates your senses, and panic swells within you! No!! You’re not that much of a creep! You swear!! You fight to get the guys away from you, but they end up shoving you inside her locker and closing the door.

“Fuck!” You slam your fist as hard as you can into the metal, but your arm is pretty well squished at your side.

Her panties are still in your hand, when you think about how long you might be in here for, you wonder if it would be fine to just…

She smells sweet and a little salty, your eyes close, and your hand travels to your pants, when the door to the locker you’re in opens wide, light spilling onto your guilty and hot face.

It’s Lucy.

Her eyes are wide and unreadable, she must be in shock, you’ve seriously fucked everything up!

Until…

Something miraculous happens, she gets down on her knees and motions for you to be quiet, with her index finger pointing over her lip. There’s a glint of mischief in her eyes now, and she smirks wickedly up at you.

Soon her slightly freckled tits are out, and so is your cock, she has it sat like it’s a holy idol on a ceremonial pillow that is her chest. She licks her lips staring at it before she starts to move, squishing her boobs around your shaft, you watch it get swallowed up by her cushiony breast.

A disembodied voice comes from around the corner. “Yeah, so can you believe that Luce?”

“What?” She says in a way that’s a little ditsy and has your dick twitching up as she kisses and suckles on the tip. Her soft mounds massage the underside in a way that’s making your legs feeling like jelly.

“About bertie!” her friend calls.

“Oh right! yeah, i don’t know what her problem is recently!”

“Right!?”

When she looks back up at you again, her eyes look about as hazy as you feel right now. How is this even happening?

You’re already close when you sigh, and start to shudder, and she grabs you more violently, hand choking your dick, and she gets up, her chest still out and very distracting on top of her iron grip on your appendage. You realize you��re holding in your breath when she takes her panties from your hand and shoves them into your mouth, then puts your hand on your dick to replace hers.

She kisses your cheek, her eyes so soft and filled with adoration for you, and then she slams her locker door back in your face.

🤍💻Jasper~

So idk if i can picture Jasper taking it without still being in charge, so hopfully it’s what you wanted!!

Also this is my first M x M writing ever!!! 🙈

Status: Dating🎀

“Do you really think you deserve it?” He had been laying on his stomach on the floor, pillows everywhere, minding his own business playing something on his phone when you were overwhelmed by desire, like a miasma in the room that you’re inhaling and barley seeing through the think pink fog of it!

You kneed his ass, and you need it! “I need it Jasper!” You repeat out loud. guilt roils your guts but you know he enjoys you. He wouldn’t keep you around if he didn’t…

“So desperate~” He sighs, with a smirk on his face.

You lay over top of him, slotting your clothed dick between his ass cheeks. You grunt as you rut into him, “Oh my gods!!” It already feels so good, through the harsh fabrics you feel his hot flesh, bouncing back into you.

“You better enjoy it while you can, I’m almost done with my dailies.”

Your hands roam his lithe frame, squeezing his hips, and his sides, and traveling up his arms, until you almost fall and have to catch yourself and you take hold of his hips this time for purchase.

“mmmm~,” He hums, as he puts his phone down, and grabs you.

He pulls you the opposite way as he rolls over so that you land on pillows beneath him.

You inhale sharply, “Sorry!!! sorry!!! I couldn’t help it!!!” tears prick at your eyes, but, he wipes them away and kisses you.

“You’re such a pretty person~” He licks your neck, before biting down on your flesh, “So tasty too~!”

Jasper pulls back and you whine, reaching up to try and claw him back to you, until you realize he is unbuttoning his and your pants.

Once out, his pale, slender fingers wrap tightly around both of your dicks together, and he squishes the tips and rubs them against each other. “did you bring lube?” You watch mesmerized as they almost seem to meld together, his shiny silver piercing in the middle.

You gulp, feeling scared of getting in trouble.

“You wanted to fuck me and didn’t even bring lube?? how cruel.” He laughs before spitting into his hand and rapidly massages your shafts together, getting them nice and slicked up.

Your dick head is smushed up against his hot tip, leaking precum, as Jasper runs his thumb all around your glands. You close your eyes tightly, all the pressure building and he hasn’t even started! You need to calm down! But you can’t, your a writhing moaning mess to his fingers.

He flips you over again, now so that you’re on your hands and knees, his hand now only massages your dick now, running up and down your fully errect length and back up to your base, and down again.

His other hand slaps your ass cheek almost full force, definitely enough to bruise! “Ow!!! ahhhmmmm!” It stings and you mumble out your cries. Your skin buzzes with the pain.

Before you can really comprehend anything else, his two long fingers are dipping inside of you, curling around and pressing that spot that has you moaning out louder and louder! “That’s it, Y/N, you feeling good f’me?”

“Mhmm!!!!” You nod vigorously.

“I don’t know, do you really deserve my dick? Or should I make you just get off on my fingers?”

You push back onto his hand further, “Please put it in me!! Please, Jasperrr!” You slur his name, and god he loves how it rolls off of your tongue like a heavy boulder whenever you’re drunk off of him.

“Maybe I should just keep going, you’re so close! You don’t need my dick,”

“I need it! I need it! Please Jasper! Fill me up!!” You beg.

He sighs, “Oh alright, since you asked so nicely~” with that his pierced tip breaches your entrance. It’s so much hotter than the rest of his skin, it melts your insides around it. You feel ecstatic as he bottoms out inside you, all while his hand squeezes your shaft base.

After he’s inside and allows you to adjust for a second he starts pumping around your cock and he pulls out slowly, before rocking his hips back in. It’s instantly too much and you cum with a cry, you didn’t mean to finish so soon!

“Such a good job, look at how much you came!” Jasper coos you, as he rocks his hips into your ass, he pets your back gently down your spine.

You shiver, even after an orgasm his dick feels so good inside you, you’re so full and hot, and the warmness that shot through you at your apex is now flowing throughout your body to a lesser but still pleasant extent. You’re moaning as he sweetly fucks you.

“Want my cum, darling? I think you’ve earned it,” He makes you feel so loved and well cared for, no matter what scenario.

“Mhm,” You moan, and as soon as you do, he obliges, he must’ve been really into prepping you today, he finished so fast! He must really love you!

and he does :3

[teecupangel]

I'm almost sorry to add another story idea to your backlog pile, BUT:

Elijah finds out what his dad went through, manages to break into a parallel universe, time travels to the 3 eras of the main ancestors, and tries to change things enough to save Desmond. Altair, Ezio, and Ratonhnhake:ton ask this tiny, angry, sarcastic, cactus of a child why he's doing what he's doing, and he eventually explains it over time.

Desmond, on the other hand, is watching all of this through the animus: a son he didn't know existed was trying to save him. An infant who he had never met, and who had never met him, was fighting time and reality itself to save him from a fate that still hasn't been explained, was showing more care and love and compassion for him than anyone Desmond had ever known before. And it hurts, because Desmond just grows to love him more and more, but thinks he'll never truly meet him outside of a Bleed.

Elijah never seems to age, even though he spends like forty years picking on Ezio. There's a statue of him in the Monterrigioni sanctuary, and he hates it with a passion.

Just... Elijah trying to fuck up time enough to save his dad, and Desmond watching all of it both touched and heartbroken, because if he's going through all of this anyways, it was all for nothing.

Then Elijah comes out of nowhere in the Grand Temple and sucker punches Juno with a data virus he had hardcoded into their lineage's DNA over nine centuries lmao

Please never be sorry for sending me an ask. Pile as much as you want as long as you guys understand that it would take a while for me to answer them (a month or so at this point XD)

Okay, but can you just imagine if Elijah was just a teenager in this one? That would give more of a sucker punch vibe to Desmond once he learns who Elijah is.

He has the ability to time travel but he can’t control where he gets sent. His goal had been to save Desmond Miles but he made the mistake of tying his time to Desmond Miles and not to someone more stable like Rebecca Crane or Shaun Hastings.

Hell, William Miles would be a better choice.

Because…

Desmond Miles’ ‘time’ is connected to the memories he watch in the Animus, making Elijah slip in and out of certain ‘times’, following the memories Desmond watches.

Desmond assumed Elijah was one of the informants in Altaïr’s memories. It’s only when Altaïr began to see him as an annoying child who always got in the way of Altaïr’s missions that Elijah told the truth.

Why?

Because Elijah has nothing to lose from telling Altaïr the truth. He was a prisoner of time itself, being yanked time and time again. He has a theory that he was being yanked to the time in Altaïr’s life where Desmond was watching him so he figured he could give Desmond information as well using Altaïr.

It would be funny, after all.

The Isus have chosen Ezio Auditore to be their prophet.

Why couldn’t Elijah make Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad his prophet then?

And he’ll take Ezio Auditore from the Isus as well.

Maybe it was Aita’s selfishness and desire for power.

Maybe it was his very own selfish desire to have something that was truly his.

“Shall we make a deal, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad?”

“A deal?” Those golden eyes seemed to pierce his very soul.

But it didn’t matter what he saw.

He cannot begin to fathom the truth.

Not yet, anyway.

Right now, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad was a man lost in a vicious snowstorm threatening to swallow him whole and pull him to his frozen grave.

He still haven’t found the warmth he was meant to have, given to him by the Calculations.

“My name is Elijah.” He said, “I am a child of Time itself.”

“What nonsen-”

“I will correctly tell you what will happen when you confront Garnier de Naplouse.” Elijah stated, making Altaïr stop from walking away from him. Altaïr turned just enough to stare at him with one of his golden eyes as Elijah continued, “And I will tell you the future you are meant to have.”

“And what do you want in exchange?”

“From you? Nothing.” Elijah admitted, “All I want is a bit of your time.”

“My time?”

“To talk to Desmond Miles.”

Altaïr frowned as he said, “I do not know anyone by that name.”

“I know.” Elijah answered with a nod, “But he’s watching you. The Templars are forcing him to watch you right now and it is because he is forced to watch you that he comes to care for you so…”

“I will help you save yourself, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.” Elijah said, “To change your fate to whatever you desire, instead of what has been laid out in front of you. In exchange…”

“All I ask is you listen to me so I can take to my father.” Elijah’s lips curved into a small smirk that felt more Aita than him, “And to commemorate my first message to my father, I believe I should tell him an important truth.”

“Lucy Stillman is a Templar who betrayed the Assassins.”

(I feel like in this case, Elijah would provide more information and let Altaïr do what he wants. He only starts to actually have a more active roll once the memory seals from ACR starts and he grows close to Altaïr’s children. By the time he gets to Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton, he’s more ‘fuck the backseat, I’m driving’ and actively helps. This ends up with Elijah finally ‘returning’ to Desmond Miles’ time just as Minerva and Juno told him what will happen if he lets the world burn and, by that point, Elijah had already completed a device that would force Juno’s consciousness to operate the device in Desmond’s stead).

[jujutsubaby]

after hours (part 9)

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader, satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: the morning after your ravenous night with toji leaves you wanting more, especially after being interrupted by the weight of all your responsibilities. thank god gojo is there to help, right? ☆ tags: modern au, babysitting au, academia au ☆ warnings: 18+ !! MINORS DNI !! oral sex (m!recieving), dirty talk, gojo being a male menace ☆ a/n: one chapter, two guys...y/n is on a roll xD she's living her best life. also this one is a bit short but i promise it's bc i've got a lot cooking for the next chapter!! sry it took so long to update too i'm still getting thru a bunch of asks and other fics and everything and also starting a new job. life is weird but fun! 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

you wake up feeling extremely tired and groggy; the sun is hidden behind the clouds this morning, but it’s the after effects of the joint you smoked with toji last night that gives you a brutally rude awakening. feeling more sluggish than usual, it takes you a while to remember where you are, the lack of decorations in a plain master bedroom throwing you off. it’s not until you hear toji shifting next to you that all the memories from last night flood your mind: his call you accidentally accepted, him hearing everything you and satoru did, cumming three times – no four times last night…

oh god. you really went all out this time. you had fun but oh my god, you have a final to prep for! you turn over and face toji and see he’s still fast asleep and then you check the time: 6:30am. still pretty early. you check your phone and see a couple messages from shoko and satoru. you check shoko’s first: 

shoko: comin home tn?

shoko: everything good????

oh my god, you totally forgot to tell shoko you would be potentially spending the night with toji, and your stomach drops at how worried she must’ve been. you quickly type out a response: 

y/n: OMG I SPENT THE NIGHT AT TOJI’S IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO TELL U :(

you check satoru’s texts: 

satoru [10:04pm]: missed ya at the study group :( 

satoru  [10:06pm]: wyd tmw? wanna study? 

satoru [1:17am]: what position he got u in?

wow. it started off so nicely until he… gojo’d it up. so close. you’re not even sure why you got into this complicated mess with him to begin with. 

y/n: ur sooo insufferable

y/n: i’ll be in the university library if u wanna come in the afternoon to study  🙄

“am i interrupting something?” you’re startled as toji wraps his muscular arms around you, holding you closer to his chest.. your bad mood quickly dissipates as you feel something hard grazing your ass. you turn your head to face toji as you grin groggily. 

“you’re not but it seems like you wanna start somethin’...” you say, slowly shaking your ass  against his erect member. toji’s hands slip under your sweatshirt and travel up to your chest, finding the mounds of your titties and playing with them as he thrusts his hips against your ass. 

“maybe…” you bite your lip and lean closer to him, engulfing him in a messy, sloppy kiss. his tongue darts out, rediscovering your mouth again as you sigh into him. you shift your body so that you’re facing him, and wrap your legs around his waist as his hands move slowly from your titties to your cheeks of your ass, massaging them as they grind slowly on him. 

“fuck, pumpkin, you’re gonna drive me crazy,” toji groans as his sweats become increasingly uncomfortable due to how much his throbbing member is straining to get out. you playfully bite his lip, driving him even crazier. in swift motions, he pulls on top of him without breaking the kiss, and you yelp in surprise. your core reflexively starts to grind properly on his arousal, causing you to soak through your panties. 

toji unexpectedly thrusts into your clothed core, causing you to yelp before toji quickly slaps a hand over your mouth. “shh, can’t wake up –” he grunts as you desperately rut against his arousal,  “can’t wake up megumi…” his eyes suddenly snap open in panic as he stills your hips. he quickly grabs his phone and checks the time and swears under his breath. 

“what’s going on?” you whine, upset that he put an end to your early morning shenanigans. you lay your body on top of him while cradling his face as you press small wet kisses to his jawline, hoping he’ll forget about whatever he has to do today. ugh, just thinking that thought makes you annoyed about all the things you have to do today, now…

toji groans, willing himself to focus in spite of your soft kisses and whines. “gotta wake megumi up in 30…soccer meet…” 

oh, fuck. you totally forgot about that – the whole reason you and toji baked brownies in the first place. there’s no arguing with him about this and you know it, but god, you really wish you didn’t have to face reality so soon. you’d do anything to stay in a little bit more of momentary bliss before having to get back to the real world with final exams. you complain and sigh under your breath as you slowly slide off toji, as he apologizes and gets up slowly, both of you still trying to shake the sleep from your body. 

your eyes pan down to the tent in toji’s sweats, still visible. hm, maybe you don’t have to leave just now. you bite your lip in anticipation as you touch toji’s chest lightly, and drag your fingers slowly down to the waistband of his sweats, and then on top of the bulge of his own arousal. you apply some light pressure as you loosely grip it, causing toji to suck in a sharp breath. 

“fuck, don’t make this harder than it has to be, pumpkin. just told you we can’t…gotta get ready and –”

“c’mon toji~,” you coo sultrily, using your finger to trace the outline of him, “it’ll be a quickie. i’ll suck you off and you’ll finish before it’s even time…” you make a show of swallowing in anticipation and hunger to have him in your mouth, and toji pinches the bridge of his nose. he wants you. bad. and maybe it won’t hurt anyone if megumi is like, what, 5 minutes late to the meet? it’s just fucking soccer. 

“you’re gonna be the death of me.” he says sharply, but you can hear the hint of playfulness in his voice. “y’got 5 minutes to make me cum, think you’re up to the challenge?” toji teases, as he already begins to bunch your hair up in a makeshift ponytail and pulls you close down on him. 

you giggle, and bite your lip to look up at him. “bet.” you immediately get straight to work on him, palming him through his sweats before slowly bringing down his sweats. you use your palm to rub against his raging arousal, and his guttural moan only spurs you on. 

“no teasing, pumpkin, time’s ticking…” toji keeps his hands firmly grasped in your hair, having full control on your head. you would be lying if you weren’t turned on at the fact that he could start fucking your mouth anytime he wanted to with his vice like grip, but you ignore the pool forming between your thighs. toji releases his throbbing member from its confines, the tip begging for attention.

you start slow, kissing his tip delicately and gradually taking more of him with every kiss, until you have him inside your mouth. you use your tongue swirl around his tip, causing him to let out a breathy groan. “f-fuck, pumpkin, just like that…” he lightly pushes your head down, carefully allowing you to take in more of his length. “i know you can take more. such a slutty girl dying to suck me off first thing in the morning.” 

you moan against him, his filthy words spurring you take even more of him and until he hits the back of your throat, making you gag a little. toji takes control of your movements and starts bobbing your head up and down his shaft.

you feel his shaft twitching and his breaths getting shakier and you know toji is close. “fuck, pumpkin, gonna cum all over you.” toji increases the pace in which he fucks your mouth and you get ready to feel his spillage down your throat before he abruptly lifts your mouth off of him. he guides to the ground on your knees, while he strokes himself off. 

“wanna see myself all over you face, pumpkin,” he groans, increasing the speed of his strokes. “y’gonna let daddy cum all over your face?” you nod your head enthusiastically, and take your tongue out so that the tip touches it as it bobs from toji’s strokes. just as he promised, toji splatters your face with his cum like a jackson pollock painting, and whatever gets on your tongue, you make a lewd attempt to swallow. 

“fuck,” toji says, out of breath, “you’re such a fuckin’ slut you know that?”. he leans down and wipes some of his release from your face with his thumb and you open your mouth to suck on it. “bet you’re soaked under there…” toji murmurs, as his eyes trail down to your shorts. you bite your lip in anticipation as his hands trail down to the waistband of your shorts. he dips his fingers under your panties, and just as his fingers are about to touch the one place you really needed him to, the alarm in toji’s room and megumi’s room goes off. 

both you and toji quickly snap out of your lustful trance and remember reality. “oh, fuck” toji swears as he quickly puts on his pants as you grab tissues from the bedside drawer to clean up the mess on your face. if there’s a term for getting blue balled but for girls, you have it for sure, but you feel bad whining about it since there’s nothing the both of you can do about it. 

you’re about to head to the bathroom to wash up as toji puts on a jacket before heading to megumi’s room to wake him up. meanwhile, you use the toothbrush that toji had been so kind to bring for you the last time you spent the night and freshen up. it’ll be fine. just don’t think about how your clit is literally throbbing right now or how your panties are soaked. don’t think about how close his fingers are. don’t. don’t. DON’T! 

you frustratedly head downstairs to pack up your stuff. maybe if you make it home fast enough, you can use your vibrator to get some quick release from this morning. yes, that seems like the way to go. your thoughts are interrupted by toji coming downstairs with megumi.

“good morning, megumi”, you sing. he looks especially cute when he’s just tired and just woken up, with his big little yawns and droopy eyes. 

“mornin’...” he mumbles as toji puts him down. he rubs his eyes as he goes into the garage to get his cleats. 

toji walks to you and gives you an apologetic look. “sorry, pumpkin, i hate you leave you needy like this.” toji playfully pouts as he pulls you into a hug. he runs his fingers through your hair as you inhale his scent – spiced wood and a hint of his laundry detergent. 

“you owe me,” you say, looking up at him. “it’s taking everything in me to not jump your bones right this second.” you’re not totally lying when you say that. 

toji leans down to whisper in your ear. “the next time i see you, i’m gonna be eating you out for fuckin’ hours, pumpkin.” you shudder in anticipation, and you realize this conversation is not helping your situation… 

you pull up to the driveway of your apartment and quickly take the stairs two at a time, as you want nothing more than to take a quick shower (and maybe cum your brains out, too, who knows? hard to tell.). you open the door to see shoko already dressed and making waffles for breakfast. the smell of maple syrup and butter makes your mouth salivate as you realize just how hungry you are. 

“welcome back, slut!” shoko shouts from the kitchen. 

“mornin’ bitch!” you greet, as you take your shoes off at the entrance. shoko pokes her head out of the kitchen and eyes you up and down. “wait, what are you doing up so early?” you ask, realizing shoko usually is never awake before 10. 

“remember? i told you i needed to start studying step 3 like yesterday!” she says. you can’t recall if she ever said anything about taking the medical licensing exam before right now, but it does no good for you to fight her on it. 

“wait, are you going to the library to study, then?” maybe you could tag along with her and then you’ll be forced to actually make progress with the final exam. 

“yes, wanna come? you and satoru have a final right? and you’re just out and about “babysitting”?” shoko does dramatic air quotes around that word, making you roll your eyes. 

“you’re one to talk when you apparently have step 3 and you were with utahime last night,” you retort. 

“she’s a teacher, okay! she was teaching me!”

“teaching you to put your tongue down her throat.” you try to hold back your smile but fail. 

shoko laughs before going back to her playfully stern face. “get your shit ready for the library quickly, slut. i made you an extra waffle.”

you promise you’ll be out as soon as possible as you head to your room and take the fastest shower known to mankind. no really, you do not want to be caught dead being late for something shoko wants to do. you chuck your clothes into the laundry hamper as you decide on what to wear to study on a…damn. a rainy sunday. you decide on a cashmere blush pink turtleneck sweater with a pair of comfy black mom jeans. underneath it, you layer a skin tight full sleeve gray shirt to keep you warm. you quickly do your skin care and apply minimal make up, before grabbing your black raincoat and bag and going back to the kitchen. 

you see shoko almost finished with her waffle while yours is neatly set on a plate with strawberries (your favorite fruit), butter, and maple syrup. you quickly pat down your wet hair as you take a seat (you’re just gonna have to settle for wet hair in the rain today but it’s okay, it’s not like you have anyone to impress). you quickly scarf down the semi-cold waffle while you and shoko update each other about yesterday. 

“i can’t believe he blue balled you like that! jobless and a menace!” shoko says sympathetically. 

“stop calling him jobless! his job is being a father.” you defend toji, but you won’t lie, it’s a bit hard. 

shoko and you both giggle as you guys head to the campus library. 

you yawn as you take a sip of your iced hong kong coffee milk tea. this shit’s doing nothing to keep you awake. you check the time. 2:56pm. you’ve been studying for around 6 hours already, and your brain is fried. you’ve tried to take frequent breaks with shoko, but she has very unconventional study methods – study for hours straight and then sleep for double the amount of time and then rinse and repeat. it was psychotic to say the least. that is to say, you haven’t had a chance to wind down in between hours. the bright side, however, is that you were lightyears ahead of your study schedule. maybe you could afford to fuck around a little bit… 

you grab your phone from your bag and see 2 missed calls from satoru. shit. you can’t call him from this particular campus library since it was a designated quiet library, so you text him insead: 

y/n: sorry i missed ur calls what’s up

satoru: comin in 5 what floor u at babygirl

y/n: 5th and don’t call be babygirl 

satoru: np babygirl 

you roll your eyes. it’s so infuriating to talk to satoru sometimes, but especially now after you both shared an unexpected kiss (and more) together. now that you think of it, this is the first time you’re seeing him since the barcade. should you be feeling nervous? strangely, you’re feeling fine. if anything, you’re feeling that unfortunate familiar feeling down there that you forgot about after toji left you hanging, but are now remembering because of satoru. 

you’re not one to make moves on someone like satoru, but you bite your lip thinking about how maybe (read: definitely) convince him to…take a walk with you as a study break. you ponder on it a little bit more, weighing out the pros and cons. 

pros are that you’ll finally be able to get a release, especially after this morning and working so hard. the cons, however, are mainly that you’ll be doing that with…satoru. your best friend. your annoying will-definitely-make-fun-of-you-for-this-request best friend. with satoru being around a minute from getting here, you decide on just winging it based on how you feel. 

shoko and you hear sounds coming from the corner entrance of the floor and look up to see nanami, haibara, and satoru trailing behind them, balancing three cups of coffee in one hand with ease. satoru and haibara are snickering about something and nanami looks embarrassed to be near them and starts walking a bit faster ahead of them. you wave your hand and grab his attention as the group walks to your table. 

“hey y/n! how’s it goin–”

“if any of you idiots even speak more than a word above an undetectable whisper, i’m going to kill you all.” shoko says, interrupting nanami’s greeting. 

you all look at each other silently, taking shoko’s threats to heart. 

“gojo, i swear to god if you say even a single thing–” shoko starts as satoru’s shit eating grin starts to form slightly as he pulls a chair next to you. 

“relaaaaaax, ieri. you won’t even know i exist, besides, you can’t hate me. i got you coffee!,” he assures, placing one of the three coffee cups near shoko. you don’t believe him and you suspect shoko doesn’t either.  haibara and nanami sit across from you next to shoko as they keep their heads down and pull out their books and laptops as quietly as humanly possible. you give a meek wave to them. 

gojo silently hands you a clear iced cup, with what you can only deduce to be an iced matcha latte with oatmilk. you apprehensively take a sip. unsweetened. just how you like it. “wow, my signature order?”

“what can i say? i’m a guy who pays attention.” satoru says, shrugging overtly humbly. 

“more like you’re obsessed with me.” you take another sip. 

“is that such a bad thing?” he says, lowering his voice, and bringing his face closer to you.

“you guys need to shut the fuck up.” shoko says, not looking up from her laptop and whatever she was writing in her notebook. 

“hey, i just booked a study room on the floor. let’s head there and study so we don’t bother shoko-san.” says haibara, as he closes his laptop and slowly gathers his stuff from his desk. 

“good idea!” you say, as you grab your stuff to move. satoru hasn’t bothered to take a single thing out, so he grabs your coffee and waits for you to pack up your things as nanami and haibara go ahead of you to secure the room. you and satoru follow closely behind. 

“sooo…” satoru starts. 

“sooo what?” your voice a low whisper as you walk away from the table shoko is studying at.

“how was last night?” 

you roll your eyes. of course he wants to know that. you spin the question back to him. “how was your night?” 

“it was fine. boring, really, because we kept on talking about quantum theory and like, all i could think of was, ugh.” satoru dramatically rubbed his temples to feign agony. “all i could think of was bending you over on a table and using my tongue to lick your–”

“WHAT?! SHUT THE FUCK–” you quickly lowered your voice as people gave you dirty looks around the library at your outburst. “shut the fuck. up. satoru.” your eyes widen at how bold he was to say something like that at a library. with nanami and haibara just a little ahead of you. 

gojo seems unbothered and shrugs. “you asked?”

“yeah, people ask and you just say ‘it was good, thanks.’ not explicitly laying out all your thoughts!” you chastise. you’re choosing to ignore that oh so familiar feeling between your legs. 

gojo takes a sip of his coffee. “c’mon, y/n. let’s just…man, fuck this ‘study session’”. you’re unsure why he does air quotes around ‘study session’ because for all intents and purposes, you did plan to use this time to get ahead of your study plan. “let’s just go back to my place or somethin’. suguru’s not home, we can just chill. do some of that studying you wanna do, and like, whatever else.” 

“you’re literally too horny function.”

“don’t act like you don’t wanna as well.”

ok, he got you there. “not right now, i wanna study!” you look at him, this time with pleading eyes. “don’t say anything horny in there, please. i can’t have people know about this, it’s so embarrassing.” 

“ouch.”

“don’t say anything in there and i’ll blow you in the library after you explain the quantum theory stuff that’s gonna be on the final to me.”

this deal makes satoru’s eyes widen. it’s too good to be true for him, because if there’s one thing he’s good at besides being a male menace, it’s explaining tough science concepts to cute girls. “deal.”

[xpao-bearx]

"Like A Virgin"

Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE

Read Part 4 HERE

NOTES: The fact that the idea for this part was already causing me such INTENSE brainrot way before I even finished writing Part 2 (which is pretty funny cuz I actually had a TOTALLY different idea compared to how this part is now, but hey my stoopid brain does what it does) 👁👄👁 Anyhoe, I am SO stoked for this (it also turned out quite long)!! It's finally got ✨️smut✨️ which I know my fellow sluts have been waiting for, BUT it's not the actual sexy sex yet cuz I'm saving that for the last part. Don't worry, it'll definitely be worth it~ ;)

BTW there's a part in this where Steven recites French poetry by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore and I used Google Translate for the English, so if the translation is off then I'm very sorry!

And I just wanna thank y'all sooo much again from the bottom of mah lil black heart, like SERIOUSLY! You lovelies are truly spoiling me with all your sweet comments, likes, and reblogs 😭❤️❤️❤️ And I swear that after the unexpectedly huge success of this fic, it made me fall RIDICULOUSLY HARDER for Oscar ISNACC and I have y'all to blame for dragging me even deeper into DILF Hell Heaven. Like, it's actually a problem when I suddenly feel like giggling and kicking my feet while I'm suffering at work just at the thought of him 😂

I also haven't been this confident and motivated in a while, and this is one of the VERY rare times I'm actually updating pretty quickly without the temptation of slacking off and abandoning it. I love writing and this fic is my baby, and it's just so fucking incredible that you guys are loving what I'm putting out, too, so once more: THANK YOU 🥰

Who knows, maaaybe more Moon Knight fics will come out in the future from me and fingers crossed that Moon Knight Season 2 will be confirmed 🤭

And the tag list has been updated! I also included some readers who I thought wanted to follow this whole series, so if you find yourself tagged despite not asking to be then that's why LMAO xD As always, the tag list is open so don't be shy to ask if you'd like to be added on it! ^_^

TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp

Part 3: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time

After the flurry of honesty and an insane whirlwind of emotions, you and Steven finally winded down. It was a bit awkward following that, but he asked (well, sputtered) if you'd like to stay. He immediately apologized, knowing that he was overstepping boundaries and he completely understands if you rejected such a mental idea.

But it was late, and there was absolutely no way he was going to let you go home alone especially with the state you're in. And also...

Well, call him a selfish knob, but he just wanted--needed--to be with you.

But you agreed to stay--enthusiastically so. You both were flustered, though sharing a laugh together had all the tension fade away.

Because, truly, you were right where you were supposed to be.

♡•••🌙•••♡

Steven prepared dinner for the two of you, consisting of five-minute vegan mac and cheese courtesy of his microwave then indulging yourselves with the box of chocolates he brought at the failed date for dessert. It wasn't "grand" by any means, but it was the best you ate in a long time.

All thanks to the cute host... Actually, your gorgeous boyfriend.

Just the thought had you grinning like a doofus, the butterflies in your belly now transforming into fucking birds.

Did that make sense? Hell no, but being with Steven absolutely did.

"Love..." Steven's strong arms encircled around your waist from behind, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. "Make yourself comfortable, yeah? Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch."

You gasped, affronted, quickly whipping around to face him. "Excuse you, sir, but I have every reason to be worried!" You huffed dramatically. "You are definitely not sleeping on the couch, Steven. And if you still insist that you are, then I'll just join you!"

Steven chuckled, his cheeks glowing pink. He rested his chin atop your head, pulling you closer to him. "The couch is too small for the two of us... So for a good night's sleep, I suppose I have no choice but to share the bed with you, yeah?"

"You say that as if you'd rather not." You pouted playfully, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head against his chest. You can faintly hear the erratic thrum of his heartbeat, matching your own.

"I'm just pulling your leg, sweetheart." He teased, kissing your head.

How the fuck did he ever get so lucky? He thought he was going crazy, that this was all just a dream--but it wasn't. Dreams were never this good. You were right here, right now, in his arms. Wholly accepting him for who he is. Loving him.

And he fucking loved you, too.

"Where's the bathroom, baby?"

Baby. The name made his heart stop for a full second. Heat once again crept up to his cheeks and all the way to the tips of his ears, his voice not coming out as all he could do was just point towards the bathroom as he stared down at you in a completely lovestruck sort of wonder.

You giggled, blushing as well before leaning up on your tiptoes and pecking his nose. "You go relax, Steven. I'll join you soon."

He watched you saunter off, still glued in place and a hand atop his frenzied heart.

He had no idea how in the world he was supposed to relax, especially now that the situation fully hit him like a freight train. But thankfully, he found his legs moving for him and his body taking the liberty of changing into his cozy pyjamas before climbing onto bed.

He put on his ankle restraint and settled down, covering the blanket over him like some posh Victorian duchess as he laid completely stiff. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, lifting his head and squinting every so often at the closed bathroom and your obscure shadow dancing amidst the light peeking through the tiny crack of the door underneath.

And it was so...quiet. Neither Marc nor Jake has uttered a single peep, which was highly unusual. Either one or both of them always had something to say, regardless of whatever Steven was doing and he was the same whenever they were fronting.

But as of the moment, he couldn't even handle speaking with Marc. Not after what he did. Marc and Jake were his family and there was no doubt that he and Marc will eventually make up, but no one was ever allowed to hurt you--especially now that you two were officially together.

Jake, on the other hand... Well, he was known to butt into Steven's business. But Jake always gave him a good push, and he would never actually force Steven to do something if Jake didn't believe he could do it. Truly, Steven owed Jake for technically setting you and him up.

But besides Marc, Steven was more surprised that Jake wasn't yapping away especially when you were involved. It didn't go unnoticed for Steven the way Jake has...changed. Only when you were around, at least. And despite Jake being the stealthiest of them all, Steven could always feel him silently observing you at work deep within the recesses of his mind.

But Steven never said anything. He just understood--accepted--Jake, and he was sure that Jake knew. But Steven didn't mind it; in fact, it made him feel less alone.

After all, how could anyone ever resist you?

He then sighed deeply, shaking his head. Clearly it was no use just laying in his bed like a corpse, so he sat up and threw the blanket off before grabbing a random book from his bedside table and donned his glasses. But his brain was too muddled, heart still not ceasing its turbulent thump as he couldn't even register the words popping out of the worn pages he has read a thousand times.

"So you wear glasses, too, huh?"

He flinched slightly at your voice, seeing you standing at the foot of his bed. You chuckled softly before your eyes landed on his ankle restraint, raising a brow.

"S-Sorry, it's..." He scrambled for something--anything. "I...I know it's a huge red flag, but I have a...sleeping disorder. I promise it ain't for something, um...sexual."

"No need to make excuses, Steven. I don't think it's a red flag."

'And I wouldn't mind if you used it on ME.' You bit back the risqué words that nearly tumbled out your foolish, needy mouth.

Steven only smiled shyly, putting the book away before he gasped when he suddenly felt something plop down on his lap.

Something soft, warm, and lovely.

"Is...is this okay..?" Now it was your turn to be shy, meeting his gaze tentatively.

"More than okay." He breathed, staring up at you with an awed grin. "Gods, Y/N, you're beautiful."

"Thanks, this is my 'I wonder how I didn't pass out from running the most I never thought I could' look." You laughed. But Steven didn't, guilt clouding his features.

He placed his hands on your hips, brows knitting together and jaw squaring. "I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn't have to do that, didn't have to meet me. I would've hated it, but I would've totally understood if you never wanted to see me again. And yet...I was happy when you did come."

"I'm happy, too, Steven." You assured him, one hand on his shoulder while the other combed through his fluffy curls. "And honestly, I would do it again. If you were in, hell, Egypt--I'd still find a way to you, no matter what."

His expression softened, a smile replacing his frown as he leaned forward and laid his head on your chest. "Please do one favour for me, though?" You kept quiet, patiently awaiting his words. "If you ever meet Marc, punch the prick."

"Baby, I can only slap him! No way I'd ever damage your godsent face." You laughed again, little snorts wracking your body that Steven found so damn endearing. Then he looked up, his chin resting in between the pillowy softness of your breasts.

"Love... Call me that again."

"Baby." You obeyed with zero hesitation, and Steven groaned. A deep, rumbly sound that sent tingles all throughout your body. You lightly tugged on his hair, making his head tip back and gaze locking with his pretty brown eyes that have gotten darker, pupils dilated.

"Baby..." Your voice came out as a pathetic whine, your hand on his shoulder holding on for dear life. "Wanna kiss you."

Like a predator pouncing on its prey, Steven swooped up to catch your lips--only for the both of your glasses to bump into each other.

An awkward beat passed between the two of you before you both exploded into riotous laughter. The two of you fell side by side on the bed, giggling so much that tears sprang to your eyes and your stomachs hurt.

Once you two finally calmed down, you exchanged bright smiles and Steven rolled on top of you. His elbows dug into the bed on either side of you, making sure not to bear down his weight on you. He then took off both of your glasses, setting them aside on the bedside table.

"Shall we try again, love?" But Steven didn't wait for your response, crashing his lips with yours.

It was chaste. Feather light. So much better than what you ever imagined it to be like. Steven's lips were unexpectedly soft, but there was a certain firmness in the way he kissed you. Your eyes fluttered shut, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in closer to deepen the kiss.

Steven cradled the side of your face gently, lovingly, as if he was handling glass. Then, experimentally, you nipped on his bottom lip. He gasped sharply, and you slid your tongue inside his mouth.

It was obvious how inexperienced you were, but Steven certainly didn't mind. In fact, it only turned him on even more that you wanted to spend your precious first time with him.

And he was definitely never letting you go.

You moved your tongue uncertainly, small panic brewing inside of you if you were doing it right. All those shows and movies made kissing look so easy; but you were soon snapped out of your thoughts as Steven's tongue tangled with yours, taking the lead as he coaxed you into a lazy, sensual dance.

And that drew a long, beautiful moan out of you. Steven craved more, more, more--wanting to push you to the very limit, a lustful, greedy beast suddenly possessing his body.

But oh, he knew, deep down, that beast has always been there; waiting for the right moment to be released.

Waiting for you.

He then slowly pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting your tongues. Your entire body was flushed, lips puffy and eyes hazy with anguished yearning as you stared up at him. Your hands reached out, clinging on tightly to his black sweatshirt. Despite being on the bed, you felt as if you were free falling into a bottomless pit.

And you wanted to fall--with Steven.

"Steven..." You murmured, one leg wrapping around his waist. "Are you gonna make love to me?"

"No." His reply was instant, levelling his gaze with yours. "I will, but not tonight, darling. I don't have any condoms."

"I...I don't mind..."

A low purr reverberated from his throat. Fuck, were you even aware of what you were saying? Of the sweet, tempting danger it entailed?

He might as well just tie you up, keep you in his apartment forever. With him. ONLY him.

He shook his head, quickly stamping down such dark, possessive thoughts.

"Love." He emphasized through clenched teeth, and you saw the way his inner conflict flickered in his eyes. "Not tonight, Y/N. But that doesn't mean I can't still please you, yeah?"

He pulled your leg off of his waist then pressed his lips to your ankle, electricity coursing directly to where you desired it most.

He never broke eye contact, his lips slowly trailing down the smooth expanse of your leg before pausing at your crotch. He chuckled deeply, ignoring it as he moved to your stomach.

You mewled desperately, wiggling slightly. "Baby." You pleaded, nearly breathless. "Please... Don't fuckin' tease me."

"M'sorry, pretty girl. Just let me worship you, yeah? You deserve it." He hummed, completely unbothered. "I deserve it."

He pushed up your tank top, your breasts spilling erotically and...fuck, was that a belly button piercing?

"First year of college. It was a completely lucid decision." You giggled at his stunned expression. "Hurt like a bitch, but I've always wanted one."

"Looks like I'm not the only one with secrets, then." He chuckled, kissing your belly with utmost tenderness and your breath getting caught in your throat. His lips languidly traced upwards, reaching your breasts and burying his face in between them and inhaling deeply.

Now he understood why Jake wouldn't shut the hell up about the way you smelled after asking you out.

His left hand groped one of your breasts, breath stuttering at the wonderful plushness. Then he raised his head, eyes locking intently with yours once more as his tongue flicked your pert nipple. You whimpered for more, more, more--back arching as you eagerly offered yourself to him.

And he just as eagerly accepted your gracious offer, mouth latching on to your nipple. You moaned as he sucked and squeezed, his teeth grazing slightly against the sensitive bud, only magnifying the maddening sensations you had no control over yet had the privilege to be a willing victim to.

He pulled away with a resounding 'pop' before giving your other breast equal devoted attention, his right hand making its descent lower, lower, lower--slipping inside your shorts and his chest blazing at the dampness that greeted him.

"Bloody hell..." He grunted, erection straining painfully against his pyjama pants. He glanced down, his much larger hand cupping your entire pussy. "Wanna fucking taste you, angel. Can I? Please, love, I wanna taste your pretty pussy."

"Y-You don't even have to ask..." You squeaked, completely scarlet from head to toe. "Just take me, baby."

Steven grinned wolfishly, a gleam in his eyes that you've never seen before making your heart skip a beat. Without wasting another moment, he practically ripped your shorts off. He groaned as he saw the wet splotch in the middle of your panties, yanking them down your legs before bringing it up to his nose as a shiver ran down his spine at your intoxicating scent.

Your arousal was flowing down to your thighs, eyes glazed over as if in a trance as you watched Steven sniff your panties like a beast in heat. Then he shimmied out of his pants, your eyes widening as his cock stood proudly; thick and veiny, the tip an angry red and leaking with pre-cum. His fist, still clutching on to your panties, wrapped around his cock as he leaned down to meet your pussy.

Instinctively, you snapped your legs shut, hands flying to your face.

"I-I'm sorry!" You sobbed, briskly shaking your head. "I'm sorry, so sorry! I...I can't, Steven..."

You expected him to be furious, and honestly you'd understand if he was. What you didn't expect, however, was him gently removing your hands and tenderly kissing away your tears.

"Hey, hey, it's alright, love." He assured, his hands massaging soothing circles on yours. "What's the matter? You don't want to continue?"

"I-I do, it's just..." You sniffled, blinking away tears and meeting his concerned gaze. "I'm...I'm embarrassed, Steven. It's just... Y-You know it's my first time, and you're doing amazing, it's just...I'm scared I'm not. I...have no idea what the fuck to do, and I'm not even pretty."

"That's not true." His voice was firm, jaw ticking resolutely. His brows furrowed, expression the most serious you've ever seen it. "You're bloody gorgeous, Y/N. I'm the git who doesn't know what the hell you see in me. And don't fret about being inexperienced, love. I'm so happy that you wanna be with me, and if you'd allow me, I wanna spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

You stayed silent, then your lips curved up into a dazzling smile that had Steven utterly weak in the knees. What the hell were you so anxious about, anyway? This was Steven Grant, the man of your wildest dreams. The man you loved.

"I love you, Steven."

Steven froze, tears prickling his eyes. Something between a sob and a chuckle escaped him, positively beaming down at you.

"I love you, too, Y/N."

He then parted your legs, hands quivering slightly. "I love you..." He crouched down, pressing his lips to your inner thigh. "...so fucking much." His tongue darted out, licking the beautiful stretch marks that lined the supple skin of your thighs.

His tongue slowly wandered up, up, up, and you were scarcely breathing once his face was in front of your cunt. His hot breath fanned against your clit; dark, nearly black eyes fixed on yours.

"Quand je vivais tendre et craintive amante..." He recited in French, smiling up at you. "...avec ses feux je peignais ses douleurs."

When I was a tender and fearful lover, with her fires I painted her pains.

You had noticed earlier the French poetry books stacked on Steven's desk, but goddammit you didn't expect he would quote one while he was right in front of your pussy.

You were sure this absolutely sexy menace of a man was trying to murder you.

His thumb then brushed against your clit, making you gasp. He grinned widely, pushing down on your nub as you whimpered and squirmed helplessly.

"Baby..." You begged, tears pouring down your pretty pink cheeks, and there must be something severely wrong with Steven to find it so enticing. "Pretty please... Fuck me with your mouth."

And how could he ever say no to that? He was merely a loyal, desperate slave for his goddess' wishes. For her love.

And so, like a parched man in the desert, he buried his face in your sopping pussy. You yelped, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the sudden--but very much not unwelcomed--intrusion into your deepest, most intimate part.

Steven's groan of appreciation vibrated within your gummy walls, inching ever so deeper, feeling his nose hit a bundle of nerves. Then his tongue licked a long, slow stripe along your mound and up to your clit. You cried out, a broken, pornographic song that echoed throughout Steven's entire flat.

"Gods..." His voice was low, trembling; one hand yet again wrapping around his aching cock, the flimsy fabric of your panties hugging the tip. "You've no idea how much I dreamt of this, Y/N. Waited for this." His other hand settled on your pussy, deft fingers running along your drenched folds. "Such a good girl, tastes so fucking good."

He puckered his lips, kissing your pussy. And the sounds that accompanied were downright filthy, Steven moaning shamelessly, loud squelches and the heady smell of your sex filling the air.

Slowly, carefully, he thrusted a finger inside of you. You keened, your thighs squishing Steven's head and your hands gripping onto his hair. He then added another finger, scissoring his digits and you knew right then and there that you were losing what's barely left of your fucking mind.

You grinded against him, and he bobbed his head zealously in perfect tandem with you. His tongue lapped up and down, up and down, before suddenly driving it inside your hole.

He was rubbing his cock vigorously, watching you, burning this marvelous moment for all eternity into his memories. And as soon as a third finger slipped in, you were fucking gone.

You screamed, finally reaching that peak and falling over it, seeing stars. You gushed around his mouth, and Steven noisily slurped it all up, not daring to leave behind a single drop.

He soon followed, grunting animalistically as his cum sprayed all over your panties. He collapsed against your pussy, in between the heavenly plushness of your thighs, panting raggedly.

Neither of you knew how long you both stayed like that, coming down from your high, until you sliced through the serene silence.

"Wow... Just...wow."

Steven chuckled breathlessly, looking up at you with your wetness glistening on his lips and chin. "Wow, indeed." He then leaned forward, and you gasped as his lips suckled on the skin right next to your clit, claiming you with a dark purple mark.

"You'll be the fucking death of me, Steven Grant." You groaned playfully, pulling on his hair.

He grinned, crawling over your body before moulding your lips together in a passionate liplock. His tongue entwined with yours and you could taste yourself, your brain short circuiting.

He slowly drew away, gently knocking his forehead against yours as his grin grew impossibly bigger.

"I'll make love to you at the Field of Reeds, then."

[123puppy]

(Im)proper Meeting Part 2

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Characters: Angel Dust, Lucifer Morningstar

Lee!Lucifer Ler!Angel Dust

Note: Now it makes sense to add tickling.

Update 2/17/24: I might add/fix this up at some point. I always was impatient writing these particular parts because I like to get to the fun parts. I'll try to keep in as much as possible, I just need to 'polish' some of it so I can stop thinking about this like I made a mess of a fic XD

---

Lucifer felt very comfortable this morning. Not that he's not ever comfortable, but his pillows are extra soft today and he slept through the night without waking up and possibly never going to sleep from restlessness or nightmares. Maybe both.

He did not wake up, once.

And he didn't want to start now, nuzzling his cheek into the pillow and smacking his lips.

A sharp intake of breath makes him freeze. Since when can his pillow breathe? He forces his eyes open and is greeted by white instead of red. He doesn't have a white pillow.

Lucifer reluctantly detaches his face from the fluffy white cushion to get a better look at what he's holding.

"Mornin', cutie" Angel mewls.

Who in hell's name is this!? How did this sinner end up in his bed!??? Did they-?

"WhaaaAHHH! WHO ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, IN MY BED? OH MY GOD WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING DID WE? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY S-Mmph!"

One hand is placed over Lucifer's mouth while the lower set of hands cup his rosey cheeks, guiding his face towards Angel, eyes blown wide in his panic

"Deep breaths, doll." Angel's breaths are exaggerated as he stares into the smaller man's eyes. Lucifer follows his breathing, and though it took a few minutes, he began to settle down. His body is still suffering the aftershocks, frame trembling as he continues to stare at Angel Dust with severe unease.

"First things first, we didn't fuck so you can rest easy," THAT got Lucifer to breathe properly and sag all the way down on the bed like a puddle. Angel snickers, "Second, you can be pretty convincing to get someone into bed with you just by being adorable. Very cuddlebug material."

Lucifer covers his face in shame, ears flushed. " I am so sorry, I shouldn't have forced you like that, I never sh-ack! Hehey!" The shorter male yelps as his side gets a sharp poke, immediately throwing his hands down to shove the appendage away.

Angel noticed the reaction but needed to focus on important matters."Ya' didn't do no such thing. I jus' couldn' say no to a precious face like this~" He grasps Lucifer's cheeks and squeezes them. The blush returns full force and the man squirms in his hold. "And I got to sleep in the most comfortable bed with the softest sheets to boot, so it's a win-win on both parties, baby!"

Lucifer grumbles and Angel can see the remnants of sadness from last night shimmer in his eyes. The Porn Star frowns, then remembers what he did earlier and grins.

"Ya know, I can't help but notice how jumpy you were when I got you on ya' side." He sees the panic in the King's eyes and his grin widens.

"Y-You startled me is all!" Lucifer pulls away from Angel's hands. He doesn't look the sinner in the eyes, fidgeting. "I...," He swallows, "... haven't been in physical contact in a long time. I mean, uh... I-I..." He mumbles and Angel leans forward.

"What's that?"

Lucifer goes red again. He just can't stop blushing today! "I'm sensitive okay? Its been so long, I'm not used to touch."

Angel looks at Lucifer with a soft smile. "Well, maybe I can help with that."

Lucifer's eyes widen. "I-I don't think that's necessary."

"Not what you're thinkin', hun." Angel chuckles, edging closer to the nervous fallen angel. His smile turns mischievous. "This is 100% vanilla."

"What do you me-" Angel's top set of hands scuttle along Lucifer's sides. "Wait waitwaitwaitwaitwaihahahait!"

"Ohhh so the King of Hell is ticklish." Angel creeps his nails up higher and pokes at each individual rib, causing the shorter male to curl forward, trying to cover himself. "Ah ah ahhh," Angel's bottom set of hands find their way to Lucifer's exposed hips and presses the pads of his thumbs against the soft thin skin. The shrill laughter that comes out is almost enough to stop the assault as Lucifer jerks at the sensation, bucking and thrashing on the sheets.

"Ohohoho my gAHahahahahad nohohohoho I cahahan't!"

"Already tappin' out?" Angel lightens his touch and brings out his third set of arms. He uses his top set to grab Lucifer's flailing arms and presses them above his head. The middle set of arms gently drag up his sides, pushing up Lucifer's shirt. The shorter male seized at the feather light touch to his sensitive skin and squeaks with each nail that drew patterns at the sides of his tummy.

"Dohohon't!" He wiggles around and cries out when Angel teases his belly button, drawing circles around it. "STAHAHAP!" He squeaks out, unable to keep the desperation from his voice, cheeks pink and eyes popping wide open.

"Don't stop?" Angel cooes, "So you like it when I dooo this?"

A shriek emits from Lucifer when Angel plunges his finger in his navel, wiggling rapidly. Pin prick tears appear at the corners of Lucifer's eyes, back arched as he kicks a pillow across the room. "NO!" He did not like that, he wanted to yell that out too to get his point across but squeaky laughter is all he can muster as he bucks and kicks about.

"Okay, okay I'll go back to this then." The wiggling stops and Lucifer drops on the mattress with a whine "That betta'?" The smugness in his tone has Lucifer thinking about setting the archnid on fire if he had enough mind to concentrate without that damn finger sending him into panicked fits of giggles.

"NohohoHOHO!" The King cries out.

"You gotta make up ya' mind," Lucifer hiccups before a shriek comes out when Angel wiggles his finger again.

It felt like an eternity to Lucifer before his laughter goes silent. That's when Angel slows his assault, removing his finger from the bright pink area all around Lucifer's navel, pretty much petting Lucifer's belly. Which is miles better than what he endured a moment ago.

He doesn't know how long it's been but he's not going to complain getting free belly rubs. He should tell the sinner to stop and leave his room this instant, but his tongue proceeds to poke out between his upturned lips in a form of contentment. He was a weak man to receiving affection.

"Holy shit," The Porn Star places a hand over his mouth, unable to contain the starstruck look on his face at the King of Hell practically melting under his touch. He's released Lucifer's arm a while ago, but the smaller man never moved them from where they've been pinned. He's practically stretched out, welcoming every bit of attention he got. It isn't long until a strange rumbling sound draws Angel's attention. He felt it, in the King's chest where one of his hands lay. It could be him just hearing things but his fingers are vibrating where they rest. He is! The King is... purring!?!?

Angel stops altogether, stunned as Lucifer's stirs from his trance, face pink from exertion, hair stuck out in all directions from tossing and turning in his laughter induced state.

Lucifer peels his eyes open and tries to glare at the Spider Demon, but he's too relaxed to work his best growl that comes out to be a whine.

Angel snickers, "Is that your way of asking for more, shortcakes?"

"..."

"Oh my God, you're too precious-"

"Shut. Up."

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-08-15 continued #2

(Previous post - current page 631)

I should keep it at three liveblog posts at most per day for pacing purposes, so however long this post ends up being (which could still be pretty long, image limit forgiving!), this'll be where I stop it for the day whatever happens so I don't push my mental energy reserves too hard. Now let's see exactly what the fuck Jane was referring to here.

(==>)

JANE: I'm referring to his death. DIRK: (Oh, what the fuck.) JANE: Not saying it's all your fault. DIRK: (Wow.)

Oh that's all SORTS of messed up for her to think.

JANE: Dirk just never *got* you. JANE: He thought he could figure you out, make all the right moves, and you'd be happy. JANE: But people have to want themselves to be happy. JANE: And the only thing you've ever consistently wanted was to be absolved. JANE: I understand that now.

She's not ENTIRELY wrong about Jake's insecurities here, but there were people constantly KNOCKING HIM DOWN by BLAMING HIM FOR THINGS that he then helplessly thought DESERVED his absolution when they were NEVER HIS FAULT, and this couldn't be a more obvious example. Which Jake might fucking recognize and snap the fuck at.

JAKE: ... And? JANE: And I accept you, Jake! JANE: That's why I have confidence our union will endure forever. JANE: You release me of all my doubts. And I can't be disappointed by you. JAKE: Huh... DIRK: (Hm.)

I think Jake isn't coming around to Jane here, really, but actually coming around to HOW FUCKED UP she is, and more importantly, HOW SHE FUCKED HIM UP. The idea that Jane Crocker, never once, actually BELIEVED in him other than believing that he would be OBLIGATED to come back to her, even if she wasn't offering really anything in return in their relationship. He finally got it through his thick head that she was always taking him for granted, isn't he? That even her deepest, most "caring" feelings left for him are pity for someone she's viewed for the longest time as incorrigibly pathetic and not useful for anything except coming back to her?

JANE: I... JANE: Oh, fucking... pixie sticks. JANE: I have to leave for the bridge. JANE: The enemy is moving into position as we speak. JAKE: Do you... JAKE: Do you still need that water tested? JANE: Haha, no. JANE: I drank it all in my hysterics without even noticing. JAKE: And youre okay? JANE: Completely fine! It really was just... water. JAKE: I had hoped! JANE: Hoo hoo, thank you. :B JANE: ...

I don't know if Jake is really feeling sympathy or negative revelation about her, here... or possibly a combination of the two.

JANE: Listen, Jake. JANE: I won't be able to really talk for some time once this whole final battle shebang kicks off, but I need you to know. JANE: I am sorry. JANE: For a lot of things. JANE: I promise. JANE: I just need you to believe in me a little while longer. JAKE: Of course janey... of course. JAKE: I... love you. JANE: I know, J. JANE: I know.

No... you finally proved to him that you're not WORTH BELIEVING IN.

That's what I think he's about to discuss with himself (and BGD).

(Jake: Calmly assess the situation.)

PFFFFF OMG AFTER THAT LINK TITLE XD

JAKE: Fuck!!! JAKE: Why did she have to go and build a moon laser!!! JAKE: Why did she have to go and JAKE: And SAY all that!!!

Hearing her open up with heartfelt feelings, towards HIM, for the first time in what feels like forever, likely has him so conflicted now even though he KNOWS what has to happen.

DIRK: It's not over. DIRK: That moon laser doesn't mean shit. JAKE: ...if theres no one to press the button? DIRK: Boom. DIRK: Or, you know. DIRK: No boom. JAKE: Her guard is down... DIRK: And you have a gun. JAKE: I have TWO guns. DIRK: Let's be real, this wouldn't even be the first time you've thought of it. JAKE: Its... an option.

He hasn't thought of going after the laser ITSELF yet, but he needs to remember he's a God-Tier Hero of Hope and that destroying a moon laser is a whole lot easier than destroying the woman he still feels something for. He'll come around in this conversation, likely.

DIRK: Or. DIRK: You help her win the battle. DIRK: Avoid baptizing the Earth with laser-fire. DIRK: And she uses The Point, and the world doesn't end. DIRK: Probably. DIRK: Who the fuck knows. JAKE: What should i do? DIRK: I'm not gonna tell you.

Even though he's talking to Dirk, he's also still in a sense only talking to himself.

JAKE: I already know youll want me to do whats heroic. JAKE: But you wouldnt want me to kill jane either. JAKE: Would you? DIRK: Stop staring at me like I'm gonna tongue-kiss the answer into you, dude. DIRK: You know what you need to do. JAKE: But jane was right about me! JAKE: I cant be trusted. JAKE: I dont even like 99% of people. DIRK: Then do it for one person. DIRK: Aren't you tired of spreading yourself thin trying to believe in everything? DIRK: Because it's looking pretty fuckin' likely that the future where Tavvy is happy and the future where Jane is alive don't coincide. DIRK: You have to kill one for the other to survive.

Now THIS is Rage talk from Dirk here. This isn't HOPE talk. Jake is going to realize that there's hope for BOTH people he cares about to survive... and all he has to do is think of flying into space and destroying a freakin' moon laser. The Page of Hope come into his role is going to be someone who can find a path of possibility that saves what they care about without Dirk's brand of brutal compromise.

JAKE: It sounds like youre gunning for her. DIRK: It sounds like *you're* gunning for her. DIRK: Say what you will about Dirk, but he always wanted you to be your best self. DIRK: He pushed you hoping if he did it hard enough, you'd push back. DIRK: That's a far cry from whatever neutered domestic purgatory Jane's offering you. DIRK: Wasn't it nice to be believed in, man? JAKE: Ugh.

Dirk was never good for him either, and didn't know the right way TO help Jake become his best self other than inflicting cuts to his soul that only delayed and decreased his capacity to believe in himself.

JAKE: Can i make an honest query? JAKE: Did i really kill him? DIRK: Hm. JAKE: I did, didnt i? DIRK: Common sense says no. JAKE: Cant you swing that one by your esoteric telepathic dirk connection? DIRK: That's a tricky fuckin' wicket, man. JAKE: Its "sticky wicket". DIRK: It's nothing, because that's a stupid fucking phrase cooked up by fake people about a fake sport from a dead planet. DIRK: Anyway, it's tricky because there's not really all that much of anything left of the big man. DIRK: Not here, anyway. JAKE: Oh, baloney! JAKE: Thats not how this works. Youre the supernatural tsaheylu of our combined "steezes". JAKE: This isnt my first ride in the rodeo, mister, I KNOW THE RHYTHM OF THIS BUCKING BRONCO. JAKE: HES STILL HERE, DAMMIT! DIRK: I'm sorry.

Given what we saw with alt!Calliope / AL splitting and reforming, it's indeed likely that he ISN'T still here, that he's practically fully consolidated himself into Ultimate Dirk aside from this leftover memory Jake is keeping just barely alive. But we also know that thanks to his narrative powers, and his immediate response in the bonus material to Yiffy's sudden existence in the (Candy) plot, that part of him is at least AWARE of that plotline and some of what's happening outside of Canon, even if he's too far away to influence it.

This is also likely about Jake accepting Dirk's death and moving on, though. Because Dirk's eliminationist "one or the other, but not both" advice and insistence on sacrifice isn't what he needs right now.

Maybe it's time for Brain Ghost Dirk to disappear?

(==>)

DIRK: He's gone, dude.

Oh damn, the eyes. It's exactly as he said: This Candy timeline's Brain Ghost Dirk was always just a part of Jake. Just the memory of his friend alive within him, him talking to himself.

Jake has to accept his friend's death to move past his brand of advice, the advice he counted on of a friend who was in ways toxic to him and couldn't lead him to true Hope.

JAKE: OH FUCK OFF. JAKE: YOU CHARLATAN. DIRK: Yeah. JAKE: HORSES ASS. DIRK: Get it all out, man. JAKE: YOU MALEVOLENT MASCULINE MALFEASANT. DIRK: I know a crisp glass of personal culpability isn't what you ordered, but hey. DIRK: It's better than relapsing.

You did pick a hell of a time to show him this, but you probably picked the right time, at least.

DIRK: It'd be the only reasonable excuse you'd have for nipping this uncomfortable epiphany in the bud so you could slink back to following orders from Dirk. JAKE: ... JAKE: Gods hooks, i backflipped right into my old ways! DIRK: Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a running theme with literally everybody we know. DIRK: You all get caught up in these feeling jams, hugging it out in self-realizational bliss. DIRK: Then, bam. DIRK: Premature ejaculation. DIRK: That passionate growth grind ends before it builds to anything actually satisfying. JAKE: :(

Jake needs to stop imagining there's someone telling him what to do anymore, and decide for himself, saying goodbye to his ghostly imaginary guide he made for himself with his powers. (Also Dirk's metaphors are always gonna Dirk, even when Jake's just imitating them.)

DIRK: You're fully dressed Jake now. DIRK: Sitting on the sticky floor of a custodial closet, hidden away from anything certain and good in this world. DIRK: Alone. JAKE: This is scary! I dont like this. DIRK: Fuck yeah it is. This is sweaty, achey, burning transformation, brother. JAKE: I want to go back! I want to be the other guy again. DIRK: You can't be the other guy anymore, Jake. DIRK: We're sending him upstate to live on a beautiful farm, where they're gonna immediately drag him out back and put him out of his fucking misery. DIRK: Remember when you told Egbert you wanted someone to hold you accountable? JAKE: No. DIRK: Well. JAKE: Nooooooo. DIRK: "Here's Johnny!" JAKE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! JAKE: Oh... JAKE: *sniff* JAKE: Oh, dirk...

Finally accepting his friend's death AND his need to act for himself instead of being told what to do isn't an easy thing to do all at once.

JAKE: Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this, JAKE: if youre really gone, JAKE: then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend. JAKE: That is not cute. DIRK: It's kind of cute. JAKE: No! JAKE: Its mental illness! DIRK: It can be both.

And you DO have literal godly magic powers helping you do it, if you've forgotten, Jake.

DIRK: Look. DIRK: What you need to do is stop sobbing into your own fucking arms and make a decision. DIRK: Spying for the rebellion, running away... these were steps in the right direction, but they also had, y'know. JAKE: Plausible deniability. DIRK: They were deflections. DIRK: And at the end of the day, that's what choosing Jane would be, too. JAKE: Its odd, but... JAKE: Shucks, i dont want to cut her down right before she makes this big turnaround. JAKE: If shed decided to keep her promise... JAKE: thatd be bitter fucking berries to live with. DIRK: But? JAKE: But she probably wont change, will she? DIRK: Why in the fuck would she? DIRK: She'll have won.

But that also doesn't mean you NEED to kill her. There's a path to Hope that you haven't seen yet and that Dirk can't help you see. (Destroy the space laser destroy the space laser destroy the space laser. FIGURE IT OUT)

(==>)

JAKE: But... i dont think she was meant to be this way. Do you? DIRK: Like, was she born to be a wildly racist dictatorial cake boss? JAKE: Ok, when you put it that way it sounds a bit bonkers. JAKE: What i mean is... JAKE: Take me, for example. JAKE: I know its not my fault janey got a bit rough and tumble with our relationship. That fundamentally, i didnt deserve it. JAKE: But that doesnt exactly make me a mensch by default, does it? JAKE: In fact i worry there might be more of me thats, well... inherently bad than not. JAKE: And thats why everything tends to get so furiously fucked all the time! JAKE: Everyone is waiting around for this better version of me to pop up, but thats never going to happen. JAKE: Because if it did, it wouldn't be me anymore. DIRK: So, are you trapped being Mr. Pissy Pantyloos Loser Man no matter what? JAKE: Sort of. JAKE: What do you think? DIRK: I don't know. DIRK: Maybe? JAKE: Oh...

You have a bit too much trauma that you haven't had any opportunity to heal from to TRULY come into your FULL potential as a Page of Hope, but that doesn't mean you still don't have a lot of power and potential you're still sitting on, only trapped by yourself and your past. All you need to think of is that one key hopeful idea and have the will to use your power for something serious, right now.

DIRK: Here's what we do know: when you face our friends tomorrow, they're gonna be none-the-wiser about the insane masturbatory matrix bullet time battles you've been having with yourself in your own head. DIRK: What will be real to them is what you DID. DIRK: That's it. DIRK: Show them you're trying. DIRK: Or don't, and get left behind. JAKE: Good god... JAKE: This is the worst pep talk... ever. DIRK: It's you, dude, what did you expect? JAKE: True.

It's not all that bad a pep talk, to be honest.

DIRK: Do you want to be left behind? JAKE: No! JAKE: I want to see tavvy grow up! JAKE: I want to choose him! JAKE: But i want to believe in jane too... DIRK: Sigh. JAKE: Listen. JAKE: I never really understood all that much of the "doomed timeline" hoopla you cerebral types tend to gab on about. JAKE: But... its nice to think that there might be countless janes somewhere out there who never stopped being happy. JAKE: Baking, getting up to all manner of lighthearted mischiefs... true blue all around. JAKE: When i think of her, thats whats real to me. JAKE: What she is now, what these rotten unenviable circumstances have made of her, its all just... DIRK: Happenstance. JAKE: Is that stupid? DIRK: Probably, but you're a god of Hope. DIRK: You're a poster-child for making stupid shit feasible. DIRK: And no one has the power to say what's true for every Jane. DIRK: I'm sure if you asked a couple of them how they feel about labor camps and domestic violences, they'd hit you with a "Woah there, buster jones." JAKE: "Thats not for me!" DIRK: "No siree!" JAKE: Hehehe. JAKE: Exactly.

I'm so glad that in some of the bonus material, Jasprosesprite^2 is playing the capricious fantasy psychologist and was on the path last i left off to helping Jane realize that there was a better answer than ruling over the planet herself-- leaving the Agency of Earth C in the hands of the children they'd raised to take it over, because Earth C is something they helped make together but not something they OWN or should command, or would be the best suited to govern.

JAKE: If i can believe in those janes, JAKE: i think i can let this one go. DIRK: Extravagant hoops to stumble through just to keep believing, man. DIRK: It's sneaky. I like it.

Oh, COME ON, can't you just fly into space and kill the Moon Laser instead? It's obvious!!! Still, big move of you (and I agree that this Jane is almost certainly too far gone).

(==>)

JAKE: Its decided then? DIRK: Seems so. DIRK: You can finally leave the closet. JAKE: Har, har.

OH COME ON DON'T JUST FLASH OVER THERE I WANT TO SEE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YIFFY!!!!!!!!!

Also it looks like Yiffy might NOT have been setting things on fire, and that the red flashing may just have been the battle alert they received, plus Vrissy's reaction at seeing Yiffy for the first time.

JAKE: Goofs aside, old buddy... JAKE: I get the strange sense i wont be speaking with you again. DIRK: You won't. Why would you? DIRK: You're normal now. JAKE: But- DIRK: You don't need him. JAKE: It feels good to pretend, though. JAKE: To hold on a little while longer. DIRK: Don't. JAKE: Fine! Fine... JAKE: Hope is the crummiest aspect of the lot, huh. JAKE: I swear the only time its worth a lick more than delusions and hot air JAKE: is if it really fucking hurts. DIRK: Welcome to being a person, Jake English.

Hope is incredibly important if you can find a path through that nobody else can, instead of letting the breadth of possibility paralyze you with indecision. (STOP THE MOON LASER INSTEAD OF ATTACKING JANE YOU WON'T WIN THAT WAY)

(Page of Hope: Rise up.)

What a hilariously yet perfectly understated panel for that title!

(John and Vriska: Touch down.)

JOHN: whew! JOHN: that was quite the race. VRISKA: Race? VRISKA: C'mon. VRISKA: That was 8arely a warm-up! JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i guess i'm out of shape. JOHN: i didn't even know you could BE out of shape with magical floating powers... VRISKA: Well, that's what sitting around like a depressing 8oring loser for sweeps gets you! VRISKA: You'll just have to get 8ack IN shape. JOHN: man, i guess so.

If he really turned on the Windy Thing powers he probably could have blown through them and outraced her, but he'd need to believe in himself a little harder and be a bit more confident for that, and he's not QUITE there yet-- not as far gone as Jake was though.

JOHN: hey, now that i've got you here, why did you lead us directly to the meteor? JOHN: we did both kind of mutually mention that there was a transportalizer pretty much directly to the lab in roxy's house, right? VRISKA: Sure. And? JOHN: well i just think maybe it might've been a little less risky to go that way, instead of weaving through battle ships and cross fire and all that war junk. VRISKA: Less risky, may8e, 8ut also wayyyyyyyy less fun. VRISKA: C'mon, wasn't it a pretty sweet joyride? VRISKA: It's nice to give the ol' wings a stretch! JOHN: hehe, that's true.

Being like an action movie star really DOES feel fun to John, doesn't it? Makes him feel like a useful hero.

JOHN: but i think now that we're here, we should probably get inside before someone notices us. JOHN: roxy taught me a secret knock to use in times like these, she'll reco-

Wait who's going to interrupt?

(==>)

VRISKA: *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* *KNOCK* VRISKA: OPEN UP!!!!!!!!

SNERK

Ah, and also they're back to being displayed like the once-children THEY viewed themselves to be, because we aren't looking up at them from one of the children's perspective.

(==>)

SOLLUX: damn dude, to0k you l0ng enough, i'm hungry as hell. SOLLUX: what'd y0u br-

SOLLUX YOU ARE BREAKING SECURITY PROTOCOL YOU ARE A HACKER YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER YOU LAZY ASS XD

(==>)

...You can't even see her, can you? Are those glasses like techno-sight thingies?

(==>)

Him too. How do you know where to look? I half swear you're hiding robot eyes.

(==>)

SOLLUX: nah.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAH

he doesn't wanna deal with Vriska and John's shit XD

(HOW IS HE SEEING THEM)

Okay time for Vriska to kick down the door (or John to Turn To Wind thing them straight through it, few doors are barriers to him if he has his God-Tier powers in mind).

(==>)

*Shared look of questioning exasperation.*

(==>)

GOSH ROXY IS THE BEST NO MATTER WHAT EXPRESSION SHE'S DRAWN WITH

ROXY: hey you 2! ROXY: sorry abt him his manners are fuckin atroche JOHN: for real. ROXY: anyway hustle up and get in before someone sees ya ROXY: also john wtf happened to the secret knock VRISKA: Yeah, John! VRISKA: What the hell! JOHN: i- ROXY: move it buster!!

Hahahahahah.

Wait, this next link-- that's right we saw THE SHIP above the meteor in an earlier frame I didn't post, this all means that the kids are ALREADY HERE!@!! (Edit from below: nope I looked again it wasn't, why did I imagine it up in the sky)

(John and Roxy: Co-parent.)

This frame isn't important and I still love it in so many different ways.

ROXY: oh the kids are safe btw JOHN: that's good! JOHN: wait, they were in danger? ROXY: yeah numbnuts in case u forgor theres a whole ass conflict goin on with kids gettin kidnapped n houses gettin targeted n shit! ROXY: our house bein one of those hice! JOHN: you never told me our house was one of those hice!

What the FUCK is a "hice"?! \*looks up...\*

"Noun. hice. (chiefly humorous, nonstandard) plural of house."

Are you fuckin serious XD

JOHN: you told me to go get vriska, which i did. VRISKA: Actually, I pretty much got myself. JOHN: fair. JOHN: but i collected her! JOHN: you didn't really say anything about harry or the other kids at all. ROXY: oh man ROXY: i guess i kinda didnt huh ROXY: ... ROXY: aw jeez JOHN: hey! JOHN: i'm sorry roxy, don't worry about it, you've got em now. ROXY: what ROXY: no i dont got em JOHN: wait, what? JOHN: then who has them!!! ROXY: rosenaya and jade picked em up while they were ROXY: um ROXY: runnin around outside unsupervised JOHN: oh. JOHN: well... that's good! ROXY: ... JOHN: ... VRISKA: Haha! You guys are terri8le guardians. ROXY: hey stfu

Okay, so (*checks*) the ship WASN'T here yet, my bad. I guess Vriska is going to engage the Plot Point device before they even get here, potentially.

JOHN: yeah, you're one to talk! JOHN: you left your own clone on her own in a dungeon! VRISKA: It wasn't a "dungeon" John, it was a high-security 8lack site! JOHN: that's basically the same thing. JOHN: if anything it sounds a lot worse! VRISKA: She could handle it. VRISKA: Unlike your lame-ass offspring who need to 8e gru8sat by an entourage of armed guards, I can tell that she's got that patented Serket panache. JOHN: technically she's a maryam-lalonde. VRISKA: Sure, whatever. VRISKA: The point is, she's a Vriska. ROXY: whatever is right VRISKA: Hurry up and walk faster!

Vriska heard the Plot Point was a superweapon and she can't wait to get some shit done with it.

(==>)

You can practically SMELL Vriska drooling at the shrouded appearance of the most plot-significant thing she's seen in this entire timeline, and she think it's a "superweapon" designed just for HER.

CALLIOPE: hello! CALLIOPE: i'm so glad yoU all made it back alright. ROXY: oh it werent no thang baby i was just answerin the door CALLIOPE: not yoU, silly! ROXY: hehe VRISKA: Ew. JOHN: (a little, right?)

SHUT THE FUCK UP they're adorable together!!! Let them be sweet on each other! D:

CALLIOPE: salUtations, vriska! CALLIOPE: i mUst say it's a pleasUre to finally make yoUr acqUaintance! VRISKA: What the hell is that thing? CALLIOPE: hee hee, gracioUs. CALLIOPE: yoU're as rUde as i imagined yoU'd be. VRISKA: Not you. I know who you are. VRISKA: *That* thing! CALLIOPE: oh! CALLIOPE: yes, that'd make sense.

Pfff.

OKAY IT'S TIME TO SEE THE DEVICE, I'M EXCITED

(==>)

SHE'S fucking adorable too! GOSH I LOVE HS^2'S ART SO MUCH.

CALLIOPE: that, my narratively significant friend, is the reason we've called yoU here!

Time for the reveal--!

(==>)

CALLIOPE: allow me to introdUce...

PULL IT BACK

The Plot Point.

THAT'S SO FUCKING COOL LOOKING

CALLIOPE: The Plot Point.

What's with the colors on the left and right though? The spirals on the dragons? It's...

OH! The left spiral is in Roxy Lalonde's God-Tier Void outfit colors and the right spiral is in Calliope style. The combination of their talents and engineering. An infinity-like sideways hourglass up top. The Rogue of Void and the Muse of Space once again combining their talents to create a miracle. I love this.

(==>)

CALLIOPE: er, technically, the machine stabilizing The Plot Point. CALLIOPE: the actUal Point is that ominoUs looking bit in the middle! VRISKA: That's it? CALLIOPE: that's it! VRISKA: It looks sort of small and shitty. CALLIOPE: it's actUally anything but! CALLIOPE: it is paradoxically massive, and incomprehensibly powerfUl! CALLIOPE: so mUch so that the fact that anybody was able to contain it at all is a miracle in and of itself. CALLIOPE: bUt as mUch as i'd like to sit here and congratUlate myself on the achievement of its stabilization, more miracUloUs still is what we intend to achieve with it.

Is it the remnants of the hole alt!Calliope / AL tore open to escape the Black Hole, is it the center OF the singularity itself, or is it an encapsulation of Paradox Space? Or multiple of the above?

CALLIOPE: and yoU, vriska, are going to be instrUmental to the sUccess of this endeavor! VRISKA: No shit! VRISKA: That's kind of my whole thing. CALLIOPE: yoU're more correct than yoU know! ^u^ CALLIOPE: as we've already explained to john, this world is cUrrently mired in a state of, well... let's call it dUbious pertinence. CALLIOPE: a- VRISKA: I fucking KNEW it!!!!!!!! VRISKA: John, didn't I tell you? VRISKA: I totally did tell him. VRISKA: I've 8een saying that this world is complete 8ogus for ages now, and no8ody's 8een listening! VRISKA: Yet here I am, right again. VRISKA: Shocker! VRISKA: You should listen to Calliope, John. VRISKA: They may have pretty weird taste in fashion, 8ut they o8viously know what they're talking about where the shitty fake shitness of this joke of a timeline is concerned. VRISKA: Clearly we need to do something. CALLIOPE: Um. CALLIOPE: that was perhaps a tad redUctive, and sort of rUde, bUt yoU're certainly correct in yoUr assessment that something has to be done aboUt this!

Pretty much!

CALLIOPE: i'll keep this short. CALLIOPE: i know john's already heard a good deal of this explanation previoUsly, and yoU seem to be catching on quick! CALLIOPE: so! CALLIOPE: earlier, yoU mentioned that yoU've had a keen sense from the beginning that something was amiss here. CALLIOPE: althoUgh oUr world isn't necessarily "bogUs" and it certainly isn't "fake", per se, we are in effect completely cUt off from the wider canon of reality, to borrow a phrase from a slightly earlier me. CALLIOPE: we're kept qUarantined here by means of existing within a massive black hole, from which escape seems essentially impossible. CALLIOPE: that's where yoU come in! CALLIOPE: yoU see, we're hoping to leverage yoUr Unique hyperrelevancy here to- CALLIOPE: oops, let me back Up.

Back up to what?

CALLIOPE: the reason we broUght yoU *here*, specifically, is becaUse The Plot Point over there corresponds to the singUlarity at the exact center of oUr aforementioned plot prison! CALLIOPE: important bit of info, that! CALLIOPE: now, to reiterate, we want to escape that prison. CALLIOPE: and not jUst as individUals, either; no, the hope is that we'll be able to emancipate oUr entire world from this narrative pUrgatory and retake oUr place in the limelight!

Oh it was the SECOND THING-- the singularity itself, the normally-inescapable mass concentrating this entire timeline and all other fan-timelines in a prison nothing can normally escape, but that a Thief of Light as incessantly relevant as Vriska -- possibly with the help of an Heir of Breath, the aspect of freedom and escape -- to help them escape the black hole, and perhaps live outside Paradox Space still but still RELEVANT outside its influence, because Paradox Space itself is an entirely different sort of prison, of plot and canon that they would only want to tie themselves to enough to maintain coherence and escape the black hole garbage bin of irrelevance, I imagine.

CALLIOPE: to do this, we aim to become Uncontainable, and to do *that* we're going to Use yoU, a potent plot player if ever there was one, to crack the black hole wide open by, well... CALLIOPE: by interacting with the singUlarity! CALLIOPE: by reaching The Plot Point. CALLIOPE: now there are qUite a few ways this coUld practically shake oUt, and more than a few methodologies we coUld have yoU try. VRISKA: (...) CALLIOPE: the first thoUght was just to have yoU "make something happen" here, something significant, mind. CALLIOPE: bUt what woUld that really entail? CALLIOPE: contriving an entire scenario for yoU to play a pivotal role in, here at the center of all things? CALLIOPE: i did consider it, bUt it felt... CALLIOPE: well, inorganic. inaUthentic. CALLIOPE: and if we're going to make it oUt of here, inaUthenticity is the exact opposite of what we need to achieve! VRISKA: (........) CALLIOPE: which broUght me to wondering how someone like yoU might Utilize The Point itself, as a tool rather than a locale. CALLIOPE: how yoU might wield it!

I guess Roxy and Calliope (or at least, THIS Roxy and Calliope) haven't quite worked out the plan for exactly what they should do now that they've gotten to this point. But the way Vriska is acting, I think she's thinking of something. No matter who may or may not agree with her.

CALLIOPE: perhaps it's a portal, and we'd send yoU throUgh it? CALLIOPE: or maybe we'd have yoU ferry Us all throUgh it? CALLIOPE: thoUgh how woUld that work? CALLIOPE: alternatively, maybe it'd be as simple as having yoU attempt to destroy it! CALLIOPE: and-

I have a feeling that Vriska wants to do something that might let her PERSONALLY escape this timeline and return to the "real" canon one, to a realm of relevance herself... possibly forcibly dragging John along with her if she feels like it, but likely all on her own. And I'm not sure, but I think she wants to see Terezi again. And there's only one place she can find her.

I have a feeling whatever is about to happen isn't exactly what I or anyone else expects, though.

How is she going to steal enough relevance back from Canon to infuse this place with promise? *IS* she going to, or will she try to do her own thing and only accidentally do so, or end up fucking up and needing to be freed by John, or even have John himself be responsible for allowing them to escape the prison instead of Vriska?

(==>)

VRISKA: ALR8GHTY! VRISKA: Just... shoosh, lemme stop you right there. CALLIOPE: :u VRISKA: I don't have all day to sit around listening to a frumpy exposition creature.

*snert* exposition creature

JOHN: but you said t- VRISKA: 8up 8up 8up! VRISKA: You too. VRISKA: Here's the story. VRISKA: It's o8vious to anyone with half a pan that this whole shindig is pretty much cosmically clusterfucked, top to 8ottom. VRISKA: Equally o8vious is that I'm gonna 8e the one to fix it, 8ecause when am I not? VRISKA: And what's 8ecoming even MORE o8vious to me is that none of you actually have any REAL idea of what it is I need to 8e doing here! VRISKA: Theories, may8e. VRISKA: 8ut nothing solid.

That much is true.

VRISKA: So while I'd love to sit around listening to more academic conjecture on the ifs ands or 8uts of what EXACTLY this thing's deal is and what we should or shouldn't may8e do with it, I actually wouldn't love that at all, and am not going to do it, 8ecause it'd be a waste of my time. VRISKA: And no offense to this whole plane of existence, 8ut I've had just a8out as much as I can handle of wasting my time in here. VRISKA: It's time to kick off the training wheels and do what I do 8est: VRISKA: Figure shit out myself. VRISKA: So sit tight and leave the rest of this to me! VRISKA: You can thank me when I get 8ack.

I guess even though she's going it alone for herself, this all might work out after all? Vriska's gonna Vriska, but maybe that's not so bad here.

OH AN [S] PAGE OOOOOO

[S] (Vriska: Figure shit out yourself.)

Whoa that animation was cool as SHIT. And what was with the spinning hourglass...

VRISKA: You're welcooooOOOOH SHIIIIIIIIT-

PFFF

(==>)

That hourglass do be doing a REAL SPINNY STILL.

ROXY: wow JOHN: yeah, she's... JOHN: well, just as much of a card as i remember! ROXY: just as much of a jerk maybe CALLIOPE: she definitely was not very polite. CALLIOPE: bUt... CALLIOPE: i guess she did more or less end Up doing something! CALLIOPE: so i sUppose we shoUld chalk that Up as a win and a job well done? JOHN: i don't know... JOHN: i was kind of expecting something a bit more... JOHN: more plot significant? JOHN: i guess?

You don't quite know what she's going to DO in there though... or how important it's going to end up having made Vriska's experiences in this timeline, because whatever she ends up pulling off has to make (Candy) more important than a doomed timeline in sealing its need ineffably in the course of events of the future, present, or past of all Canon.

ROXY: callie CALLIOPE: yes dear? ROXY: is vriska right CALLIOPE: right aboUt what, dear? ROXY: about the fact that u dont actually know wtf we were supposed to be gettin up to here CALLIOPE: well... CALLIOPE: Um, more or less, yes. ROXY: bb are you srs CALLIOPE: oh dear. CALLIOPE: did i neglect to mention that i only really had a solid grasp on the inaUgural steps of this whole Undertaking? ROXY: um ROXY: YEAH CALLIOPE: oops! ^u^; ROXY: shit yeah callie that is kind of a fuckin oops!

Again... especially with the PRECISION with which this machine is made, I believe Roxy and Calliope are perhaps unknowingly collaborating with the OTHER Roxy and Calliope who are helping write the (Candy) storyline altogether.

ROXY: you said you were being compelled by like hella visions n premonishes n mysterious psychic spatiotemporal intuitions n i kinda figured that meant you had this shit all ttly comprehended! CALLIOPE: i'm sorry, roxy! CALLIOPE: it absolUtely wasn't my intention to mislead yoU or to overrepresent my level of Understanding of the process. CALLIOPE: it's jUst that, well... CALLIOPE: yoU remember how we got so wrapped Up in the initial excitement of finding the singUlarity and the rUined jUjU arch, and sUbseqUently stabilizing it with oUr sUper cool cherUbic-lalondian tech... ROXY: its true our tech really is so fkn cool...

EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME DID YOU SAY RUINED JUJU ARCH!?!?!?? Who the fuck was responsible for THAT?!? For ALL of these devices!? I still have to play Hiveswap Chapter 2 but I feel like that won't give me answers yet either if I had to guess!!!

CALLIOPE: and then, well... it felt like we were on sUch a roll when we came to the conclUsion that we needed to leverage vriska's hyperrelevance to scUrry oUt of here... ROXY: we did have a whole bunch of high fives about that... CALLIOPE: it was an exhilarating breakthroUgh! CALLIOPE: and an eqUally exhilarating high-five session! CALLIOPE: bUt then the conflict began to ramp Up, and yoUr son got into all those shenanigans, and i wanted yoU to feel like i had everything Under control down here so yoU could attend to it! CALLIOPE: and all that notwithstanding, we really DID need to hUrry Up and do SOMETHING. CALLIOPE: i worried that perhaps yoU'd be a bit relUctant to pUll the trigger on this if it felt like all the details weren't lined Up. CALLIOPE: and so i... CALLIOPE: well, i sUppose i might have implied a more complete knowledge of the a to zed of all this then i actUally... possessed. CALLIOPE: and continUe to possess. JOHN: well, but you don't possess it. CALLIOPE: no, i'm afraid not. CALLIOPE: u_u ROXY: urgh callie i gotta say this feels sorta less than ideal ROXY: but i guess wcyd

Yeah, it was only a slightly dick move and the Rogue of Void is going to forgive this sort of white lie easily enough in their relationship. It makes sense.

JOHN: wow. JOHN: feels kinda nice not being the one getting chastised, for a change! ROXY: john shut ur insensitive blabhole or im gonna chastise the shit out of u JOHN: jeez!

Yeah butt out Egbert!

JOHN: just trying to think solution here, but is there something *we* should do? JOHN: should we maybe, i don't know... follow her? CALLIOPE: oh, i woUldn't recommend that. CALLIOPE: whatever's going on in there is likely to be extremely dangeroUs, and scarily... CALLIOPE: specific. JOHN: it's dangerous and you let her jump right into it? CALLIOPE: well she didn't exactly give me mUch of a golden window of opportUnity to try and talk her oUt of it, now did she! CALLIOPE: besides, what exactly was i sUpposed to say? CALLIOPE: "hello vriska, lovely to make yoUr acqUaintance, so glad yoU coUld make it to oUr little soiree, woUld yoU mind doing something of particUlar significance next to, bUt not within, that crackling narrative nexUs of swirling spacetime? by the by, i'm not actUally sUre as to what, and in addition to that the forces at play here coUld qUite easily rip yoU or perhaps even all of Us along with oUr entire plane of existence to pieces if yoU're not exceedingly carefUl so do take a second or two to think aboUt it?" ROXY: i mean mb that woulda helped ROXY: but rly it sorta seems like she woulda just jumped right tf in anyway JOHN: yeah.

Is John going to have to save Vriska from a Black Hole with his powers like I long falsely theory-foretold back in the original run of Homestuck? Once she's done her thing? John is pretty much the only possible person who could pull her back out of there. It'd be the complete embodiment of his God-Tier Heir of Breath role.

JOHN: ... JOHN: well, it doesn't *feel* like we're all being ripped to pieces. ROXY: ya im feelin pretty structurally intact, hbu callie CALLIOPE: whole and one! SOLLUX: yeah i'm all go0d. ROXY: oh damn dude, when did u get in here- ROXY: wait tf ROXY: are those my chips SOLLUX: i guess they were.

Pfff

banter banter banter...

SOLLUX: anyway what's going 0n in here? JOHN: hmmmmmmmm. JOHN: i wonder what IS going on in there.

Oh I love the next link title (but why is she grumpy though, is this AL/alt!Calliope we're cutting to?)--

Grumpy Exposition Creature: Exposit.

let’s have a look, then. as ever, faced with the desperate scrabbling of those who would overstep their bounds, it falls to me to clear things up. unfortunately, what’s been started here is now beyond my ability to curtail. what i can do, however, is show you all the consequences of the actions of those who would leap before they looked, and at the very least offer you a reprieve from tiresome conjecture in favor of equally tiresome deus ex machina.

Oh god, that's ominous as fuck. Alt!Calliope / AL is definitely pissed that the (Candy) folks besides the chosen few she brought along had the cheek to interfere and make the Canon timeline even more sprawlingly complicated without the ability to loop to a neat close.

Oh look at those brackets to represent the inside of the Plot Point, those are new? Have I finally almost caught up? ((NOO I WANTED TO SEE MORE YIFFY!)) I sniffed a glimpse of a 3D-or-game-like-looking something somewhere on tumblr or twitter or Patreon or the like in the midst of my efforts to immediately look away from anything close to a spoiler, so I sort of am expecting that I might be about to be shown something that would otherwise be surprisingly interactive and three dimensional soon...

[S] {Vriska: Come to.}

That was an ORANGE Sburb house like Dirk's color in the loading, or perhaps orange for Light colored?!

It's her old home... but in a white void with black clouds... ominously surrounded by horses...

{==>}

Home again, like the so distant past. Complete with the shitty "doomsday device" Eridan helped her build that never worked.

{==>}

She walks up her old stairs. Alt!Calliope/AL narrates...

they sent the thief here in search of power; the power to escape the containment i so painstakingly set up for them. she may well find it, though once again at no small cost to the integrity of this narrative, to say nothing of their tragically crumbling world. in fact, they’re quite lucky their meddling hasn’t immediately engendered the exact sort of catastrophic collapse my vibrant counterpart so flippantly theorized could occur. they must have friends in high places.

Friends in high places? Like the readers, or Andrew Hussie, or perhaps (Meat) Callie, who likely helped write this outcome?

If I had to guess, Alt!Callie thought this prison, this CONTAINMENT, would be a blessing... that perhaps the influence of non-Canon on Canon should be minimized even if non-Canon were to decompose into chaos and irrelevance. She believes this to hold nothing but danger and regret for them all. I think she's going to be proven wrong... but why is she so certain she's right about it? Quite ominous indeed...

Is it the remains of the collapsed Green Sun? Something Vriska would have the power to steal, something that might be powering the very existence of the (Candy) timeline though not sufficiently enough to keep it going for much longer without "crumbling" anyway?

{==>}

Whoaaaa.

when all is said and done, however, they’ll find the reward for their transgressions ill recompense for the price they paid to receive it. the black hole could only ever shelter them for so long, and in their haste to shrug off my protection they have opened the door to something far, far hungrier.

What... fandom demands? :?

{==>}

Vriska's old room...

this is not the salvation they are hoping for.

{==>}

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < meow! VRISKA: AAAAAAAAH! VRISKA: What the fuck are you doing here, Nepeta!

AhahAHAHAH!!! HAHAH! They live! :D

They couldn't be what AL was alluding to, could they? Time powers and fanfiction-love condensed into an oddly gender-euphoric-seeming fusion that loves themselves and knows the meaning and importance of Heart just as well or better than the Prince of Heart?

Vriska didn't meet this one for long, right, or ever? Hence confusing them for Nepeta?

{==>}

THAT'S WHERE ALL YOU OTHER MISSING SPRITES HAVE BEEN BESIDES JASPROSE

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < davepeta actually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i gotta say its pretty refurreshing getting hit with nepeta instead of dave fur once! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everynyans always dave dave daving me and its like um YEAH maybe i AM half walker texas rapper with a sick pair of shades and some pretty funky ideas about what is or isnt funny and for what reasons DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but i am also half straight up mewjoshi with a super clean trenchcoat and very obvious kitty ear horn things! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so thank you fur that DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its very validating

Multigendered plural fusions need their validation just as much or more than everyone else, really. :D

VRISKA: Okay, well. VRISKA: What the fuck are you doing here, *Davepeta*. VRISKA: What the fuck am *I* doing here! VRISKA: What in the FUCK are you, me, and all the rest of these multichromatic circus freak rejects doing in my hive?! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < just kinda hangin out!

Is this like... a prison for everyone deemed too inconvenient to serve in the plot of even (Candy)?

{==>}

ERISOLSPRITE: wwe'vve been here for liike a miilliion fuckiin 2wweep2. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < actually we just got here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < this place didnt even exist until she popped in ERISOLSPRITE: gue22 ii'll fuck my2elf. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sprites go where guidance is essential!

Hmmmmm.

Friends in high places... Perhaps all of Skaia and/or the Horrorterrors combined wills also sanctioned this plan in the end? Because when they were created, or WILL BE created in Meat's timeline potentially, they'll eventually see and know something very important about what's possible here and how essential it is?

VRISKA: Ooooooooh, are you going to lead me to the weapon? VRISKA: Is it one of my doomsday devices? VRISKA: It totally is, isn't it. ERISOLSPRITE: 2et iit off, free u2.

Oh, hahah, Erisolsprite! You're so hilarious, wanting to unalive yourself all the time. Hahahah! Hah. :x

VRISKA: God, causality is so o8sessed with irony, even though it's such a useless joke for o8scene tools. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the only weapon in here is curled up snoozing all dormant and cute in your bloodpusher! VRISKA: Really? That's stupid.

It's not! Vriska is the Thief of Light.

If she really understood what that meant, then redistributing relevance is the exact and ultimate weapon needed for this situation. Even Callie and Roxy guessed THAT much, though Vriska perhaps still doesn't know enough about her potential to understand what she can actually do.

Also "in your bloodpusher" could indicate in your Heart, the ability for Vriska to interact with her broader Soul back in Paradox Space...

...Hopefully we don't need her to become an Ultimate Self version of herself? Because creating Ultimate Vriska would ABSOLUTELY open the door to "something far, far hungrier" in a way that might be dangerous to absolutely everyone.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *vriska stalks menacingly but ill informedly all up in here like "ummmmmmmm where am i what are you doing in my hive is the jank ass rube goldberg machine i built as a six sw33p old gonna fix everything?" because apparently thats so much less stupid* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < just spaying DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < actually yuck i dont like that

Yeah that's a step too far a pun, and also probably not how Davepeta wants to roll.

VRISKA: If it's just me, then why the hell are all you guys here? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < we rolled through so we could shepurrd our little eight legged sh33p to some helpfur self reflection

Yep... the biggest weapon is potentially Vriska performing some self-discovery and learning more about her title and aspect than she was willing to before-- learning about the real power she commands, which is so SO much more than just "luck".

VRISKA: I came here to save the world! VRISKA: In case you haven't noticed, the only thing showing up in MY reflection is a perfectly adjusted 8adass. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < s33 that f33ls to me like an insane thing to say DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < does that not sound insane to you fefeta? FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383 DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < not very adjusted at all VRISKA: I need to adjust my way out of here. DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < tough kitties! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < s33 you just bapped the nail on the head DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < this is exactly why youre here DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you gotta work on your shit vriska serket!

I really like this. I really like seeing ALL of these characters sorting out the worst of some of their unresolved issues. And this childhood room and Vriska's childhood fantasies are at the heart (Heart!!!) of a lot of her desperation and neediness, and inability to look past HERSELF to find who and what she can truly be if she tries. These sprites are together to help speedrun her through a whole successful Sburb session's worth of growing up.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *gears up to lay the fuckin smackdown on you all wrestler style but maybe also rapper style but the rapper is also a therapist who doesnt take shit from anybody and beats their clients the fuck up EMEOWTIONALLY but i guess in a productive way!!!* DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you meow a big game about doing shit that matters and saving the world and being right all the time and making tough calls or whatever the fuck DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but more often than not youre just tearing through life taking a big dump in its litter box and kicking your collitteral all ofur the place! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < fluff that! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you wanna save the world so bad? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < youre gonna have to save yourself first

Let's gooooo! :D

(I wonder if any of the transfem Vriska toblerone stuff is going to play into this incidentally, while we're this far in her past, or if as i hear that was only possibly hinted at mainly in Pesterquest or something else I haven't played.)

{==>}

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and were all gonna help you! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < whether you like it or not

Are those ghosts from the Ghost Rain back in (Candy) that I haven't heard about since, when all the dream bubbles fell into the black hole?

{==>}

the fuck am i looking at XD

Okay, THIS is the 3D page I think I saw hinted at coming up, deliberately misleading link title and all:

{S} Begin Session.

Oh, "welcome to hell" and it's page 666, too, hah.

There was a prompt for a CHAPTER SELECT at the beginning so there's likely to be too much content here for me to screenshot much of, nor text I can highlight and paste properly, so I'm just going to comment on what I'm seeing when it's relevant as I play through this little game thing and paraphrase instead of using whole quotes unless something's so important I can't convey it with a screenshot alone.

We're first revisiting the cliff that Vriska threw Tavros off of. Vriska needs to confront why she fucking did that and that she ought not to have, but what exactly pushed her into it besides Doc Scratch. All the pressures she grew up with, and why she gave into them, and that she was... well, raised wrong and made wrong decisions that she needs to psychologically unpack to find herself. Her real self beneath all the bluster and arrogance and wrecking of shit.

--Ooh wait, the menu has a "Download Log" function, I'll use that if I need to to copy-paste text if needed (but I'll mostly focus on getting through this and commenting)!

*click*

Weird music. Egyptian out of nowhere. Have we crossed Charon's river?-- no wait that's greek. Oh jazz too.

VRISKA: wow, hell was right.

Again I'll try not to quote everything and just allude or paraphrase. I wonder if this beat is implied to be something Davepetasprite^2 would have mixed together.

Vriska thinks she's faced with the "ghosts of her past" and needs to "sort it out", hm. A shallow approach but we'll get to her depths soon enough.

Wait I tried the Download Log option to try and get the transcript to quote Vriska's "speedrun enlightenment" (lol good luck) line, but instead it was just the game's debug log. And the other menu... SKIP UNSEEN TEXT AND AFTER-CHOICES?

Oh man, this is an adventure potentially with CHOICES where we keep skipping back to figure out how to best get through a situation isn't it and see her go through each of the options??? :D (Or is at least built on an engine that does that?) Fucking sick! It even SAVES AND LOADS. Is it big enough to NEED that?!

I'm just gonna dive into this and comment lightly so I can get through it myself if you don't mind.

Continuing Tavros's segment...

We're replaying a point in her past where Tavros is near that cliff, and Vriska hasn't killed OR disabled him yet...

I feel fine about killing Tavros, and he's certainly ok with it now. The situation's sorted!

BULLSHIT IT IS. Let's see you being forced to introspect here, I can't wait.

It could have 8een any number of things. I did a lot of things wrong.

Yeah, BUT WHY? You haven't fucking confronted it yet.

Oh now she's pulling out the thing Rose just did with "It all worked out in the end so it was the right thing to do", fuck that. Fuck that. Learn.

{Hours Later, but not many.}

WHAT IS THAT ANIMATED LIP QUIVER SHE'S GOT TO BE FAKING IT

VRISKA: ...I'm sorry I said your lusus "smelled like tears".

So she's thinking that apologizing for everything she ever did is going to help, here... she might even be working herself up about it, making herself genuinely emotional if I don't get psyched out on the next click. But apology isn't enough here... she needs to learn about HERSELF, and why she did what she did, and what she would RATHER HAVE DONE if it came down to it, rather have done FOR HERSELF and not just for everyone else's.

And perhaps, words aren't at all what matters here. It's hard for a Light player to figure out, but words don't mean much. Only actions.

Clicking forward... yep, it's not progressing. And she's being "sincere a8out at least 80% of these", hahahah.

((Also I forgot that the infinity symbol on her eyepatch lines up with the sideways hourglass on the plot point machine and would be the perfect accoutrement to her becoming her Ultimate Self, too.))

Whoa.

Hold on.

I know it's a common phrase in Homestuck. SO common a phrase that I never... fuck... how could I be... the fucking person who wrote that Ultimate Riddle post and not make this connection?

The game keeps asking her, keeps asking and asking her the exact same question:

"What will you do?"

A phrase repeated dozens and dozens and dozens of times throughout all of Homestuck. And idiot that I am I never ONCE thought to REARRANGE THE WORDS.

Because the answer to the Ultimate Riddle is theoretically:

Do What You Will

THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE POST IS LITERALLY ELEVEN YEARS OLD HOW DID I NOT ONCE MAKE THIS FUCKING CONNECTION

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(Okay calm the fuck down, focus. Back to the game.)

Is that the lesson she's finally going to learn, here???

Let's keep going and see.

...(more clicking)

"What will you do?"

Huh... Vriska thinks Tavros ought to want revenge against her for what she did to him. That's one of the biggest things she has to unlearn.

VRISKA: It's like I'm always saying, words are meaningless. VRISKA: What we need is action.

Nice callback but no you don't always say that asshole! I mean, you've been saying it lately... but also running from your problems with it.

VRISKA: The reason I'm stuck here is 8ecause I don't owe you plac8ing apologies VRISKA: I owe you revenge. It's just that easy!

None of this is EASY. That's been your issue. You haven't even admitted when it's been hard except for fleeting moments of pure anger and frustration.

VRISKA: You have to throw me off this cliff.

Pffffff

TAVROS: vRISKA I DON'T WANT TO DO A REVENGE ON YOU

Thank you, Tavros, but it's not going to be that easy to get it through her thick skull.

VRISKA: [live out the rest of your life] Here on Alternia. VRISKA: Before everything goes wrong. VRISKA: You can kill me now. VRISKA: 8efore I screw your life up.

Tavros didn't want Vriska to just disappear. Not back then, and not for a long time now.

Oh and now she's literally REPEATING the crime of trying to FORCE HIM TO KILL HER that she did on the quest bed. She has to reckon with THAT too.

Hm-- it's only giving me one choice, huh? I wonder if more will open up if/when we come back to this scene?

{Thief: Do the right thing.}

Manipulating him, stealing his will to FORCE him to kill her. Just another crime for the pile, really, not a solution.

{It's really for the 8est.}

VRISKA: Good luck.

Wishing luck to someone ELSE instead of herself, huh.

{Adios, Toreador.}

The music fading off...

SHING

She's literally GRINNING to be dead.

{==>}

Only to wind back up on that same beach she started the Plot Point in.

YEAR 2

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

OKAY MAYBE THIS IS GOING TO TAKE HER A WHILE!!!!

I guess that while the other folks in the Candy timeilne grew up around her, she's still younger... still has LITERAL growing up to do to match up with them. So that hourglass wasn't a joke, this is almost like a TEMPORAL SINGULARITY, a hyperbolic feelings jam time chamber.

Fascinating. (Click.)

Davepeta roleplaying, heheh. Always happy to see it.

Oh, Vriska has a tank top and her hair tied back. She's going to grow up, steadily and slowly, through all this.

"the breaking of cycles, dissolution of the self, whatever other philosophical rhetoric bill murray said in that one meowvie", huh? I do feel more like we're aiming for her to reach her Ultimate Self here, perhaps...

Yeah no shit Vriska's going to be depressed after two years trapped here with her past problems, unable to even die to escape them.

Asking Davepeta to please tell her, HER, what to do, and not in a flighty spritey roundabout way. Hmm. Let's see if they answer, and let's see if she's finally ready to listen.

You think "sweeps of my life are 8eing w8sted here", huh? Your immortal life, you mean? And you don't know that there's time compression going on in here yet, perhaps.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < trust me i'm trying!!

D'aww, they look so bashful about failing to help, here.

Hahahhaah, that IS an issue isn't it! ...Huh. I wonder who WOULD be able to relate to her enough for her to listen to, that she would actually be able to take the advice of. Aradia? But is any version of her or ghostly imitation even here?

I know I'm wasting the image limit a little here but THAT'S WAY TOO CUTE, seriously I love how happy Davepetasprite^2 is with BEING themselves all the time.

Ooh, if you don't watch the groundhog movie you're gonna have an even harder time of this. Two whole years and you didn't watch Groundhog Day for a hint to get out and solve your psychological problems?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: *the fearsome gender neutral lionesster pins down its prey but instead of getting down to business growls out how the prey deserves this for being a big disappointing pussy*

Fuck I love that, "gender neutral lionesster" complete with that portmanteau at the end, that's valid as heck. Validation of ANY sort breathes life into my lungs.

Whoa... five choices, three of them grayed out, and "Check back later!" at the bottom. No wonder there's save slots, so this is going to be periodically updated?!?

Flarp manuals will bring us back to Tavros for sure... Let's see if that's something new and doesn't bring us back. (Click!)

VRISKA (angry): "I've apologized, I've killed you, you've killed me, you've paralyzed me, disfigured me, we traveled the world together." VRISKA: "We 8uilt you an army, had several revolutions, you got to do your little dance a thousand times over."

Oh she even replayed her LATER adventures with ghost Tavros?

Sure, but what did she LEARN from any of this, about HERSELF? What is she WILLING to learn about herself?

Oh.

Oh my god.

Oh my god this whole time she's never asked him to "participate in activity of his own choosing". SHE'S NEVER ASKED HIM WHAT HE WANTED TO DO THIS ENTIRE TIME.

SHE'S FINALLY LEARNING ABOUT WILL! ABOUT THE BALANCE TO FIND WITH ALLOWING OTHERS AGENCY!!!!?!

Let's see... yep, he wants to play a game.

Because he used to play games all the time with the likes of Vriska... and he enjoyed himself, until she betrayed him and threw him off a cliff. For the first time EVER in her life, Vriska is trying to see what Tavros actually wants without deciding it for him.

{Play game.}

Vriska is baffled that even though she won, Tavros is still happy to have played the game. Even when Tavros was losing, he was STILL ENJOYING playing games with her. He always had.

He doesn't CARE that much about losing. She's never understood, been able to relate, to that. To her, losing was like death.

To him, losing in a new and different way is an adventure.

I'm loving all of this so much.

VRISKA: Damn. VRISKA: That is quite possibly the gayest thing I have ever heard someone say, Nitram.

PFFF I DID A SPITTAKE ALMOST

TAVROS: wHAT DOES THAT WORD, EVEN MEAN VRISKA: I don't know! It's a human word Dave would repeat all the time 8efore I started using it against him.

OUCH, on the meteor trip? Ouch ouch ouch! XD

VRISKA: It's 8asically what you tell people when you think they're 8eing inane and need them to shut up. TAVROS :wELL THEN, vRISKA, i THINK YOU, aRE gAY TOO,

BAAHAHAHAAHAH PREACH

TAVROS: yOU AND I, aRE BOTH STUPID GAY, TAVROS: nOW BASED OFF THE RULES OF GAY, wE HAVE TO SHUT UP AND GAME, VRISKA: I'm not gay, stop saying I'm gaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!

I'M FUCKIN DYING XD

Tavros is right: If someone didn't lose, following all these game rules wouldn't be fun. If you can't love losing at least a little, you can't truly love playing games.

PFFFHAHAHAH he remembered something for a split second to make a point and then went back to not and Vriska is losing her shit.

She's remembering why she hated him so much... how she HAD to hate this attitude of his. I'm guessing in part it's because thanks to her lusus, SHE NEVER HAD THE LUXURY OF LOSING, THAT WAS DEATH TO HER. Possibly LITERALLY death, to not win and feed others to her mother.

OHOHO SHE ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED HER OWN FEELINGS!!!

VRISKA: I think if a certain uppity human was here, she'd call it "projecting."

SHE'S FINALLY FUCKING LEARNING

Tavros laying it down that he always REMINDED HER OF ALL OF HER FEARS. THAT'S why she always hated him.

TAVROS (eyebrowsing): i LOVE NOW KNOWING, tHAT YOU HAVE PROBLEMS,

Oh that's gonna get to her. XD

They could both be projects for each other. Oh gosh it's actually showing how they could have had a HEALTHY rivalry or relationship in some other quadrant where they improved each OTHER, and Tavros showed her how to be comfortable losing and not always having to concern herself with survival.

Aw he's feeling "inspired" (Breath)!

...whoa. Tavros laying out some alternative gender fantasies here? The nice and soft bronze fairy, and she will be super nice and awesome because everyone likes her?

VRISKA: Let's play some games for girls.

Yeah!!!!!!!!

Oh my god Tavros really DID have a character sheet for a female Bronze Fairy character that was a Tavros-like mirror to Vriska's Blue Fairy and he's embarrassed to say it. This is pretty incredible, I love how much Gender they are stuffing into all of these updates.

And yeah Vriska, it's the first time you've really listened to him. Really, ACTUALLY been not terrified to listen to him, and tried to understand how he feels without your defenses all the way up to just drive over him whenever he made you uncomfortable, or literally ever.

VRISKA: This whole time I thought I was supposed to 8e pushing you. VRISKA: It's soooooooo o8vious now, that was pretty fucking stupid of me. There was nothing I could have done to change your mind, huh? ARADIABOT: exactly

AAAAA aradiabot jumpscare! Right at her important psychological revelation! D:

ARADIABOT: y0ure finally starting t0 get it

And I'm so glad of it.

{==>}

Vriska's finally taken a step forward after all these years trapped here, and she's flabbergasted.

LoMaT and Aradiabot, now.

VRISKA: Are you... aware of the situation? Does this mean I finally cleared Tavros and you're the next level of helltier?

Well, yeah I think so pretty much.

ARADIABOT: i w0uldnt say that ARADIABOT: m0re acurately this is the b0ss fight t0 drive the p0int h0me

Oh?

Yeah, Vriska still thinks this purgatory is about punishment, or atonement, instead of LEARNING. About herself, about her friends, about GROWING as a person.

VRISKA: It's not........?

Two years slow on the pickup! WOW that's a thick layer of problems for Vriska to work through all at once.

Oh what a callout... good point Aradiabot, telling it straight to her that VRISKA was the only one satisfied by Aradiabot giving her the smackdown and killing her. That she wanted to be hated, judged, and that was the thing that she couldn't stand about Aradiabot the most.

ARADIABOT: what i meant was that y0u got what y0u always wanted ARADIABOT: y0u were ex0nerated vriska thats what its always been ab0ut

Yeah, she's always wanted someone to make her pay.

VRISKA: I never once asked to 8e f8rgiven for free, I always paid the price!

No, you believed in the false power of redemptive violence. You never confronted why you did what you did in the first place, you just used exoneration as an excuse to not work on the problem at all in yourself.

ARADIABOT: wh0 can aff0rd t0 care when they kn0w y0ure g0ing t0 hurt them again?

FUCKING PREACH.

No, Vriska, getting beaten and bruised and mutil8ed and h8ing yourself doesn't fix the problem. Redemptive violence is a myth. You have to confront why you did what you did inside YOURSELF and cure yourself of the root cause.

Oh wow, "What will you do" growing on the screen like this...

Yeah, Vriska's not going to manipul8 aradiabot into caring. That wouldn't accomplish anything, and she's moved past really, truly, being willing to try that anyway.

ARADIABOT: y0ure n0t here t0 be redeemed vriska y0ure here t0 grow up

Exactly. ...And kind of fun that Pupa Pan Tavros was her first and hardest test, in that light.

--Vriska doesn't even understand what that MEANS yet, being asked to grow up! She doesn't know what growing up REALLY MEANS having only interpreted it in the cruel Alternian context she internalized while being raised!

ARADIABOT: d0 y0u even want t0 be that b0ssy br0ad?

YES CUT TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. That Vriska doesn't actually enjoy BEING this thing she thinks she has to be. That the badass bossy broad she's convinced she SHOULD be, and plays the part of, was never what would truly make her happy and was NEVER going to avoid hurting everyone else. And deep down, she hates that she hurts people. But she's convinced herself she never had a choice.

...Yeah, Aradiabot, preach it. Paraphrasing her, even at her "most useless self", there's a place for Vriska in the world and people in it that want to share a life with her if she'd let them.

Pfff, Aradiabot's "0o0" face at her asking "am I the problem?"

ARADIABOT: i am g0ing t0 expl0de again

LOL

People have been telling you that your entire life, Vriska. You've just never listened. <3

ARADIABOT: 0f course! ARADIABOT: y0u already have

EXACTLY-- both before and even in this very sequence, ESPECIALLY in this sequence with Tavros, quite significantly!

--pff she's shocked and confused that Aradiabot thinks so

Yeah, she's grown steadily throughout all this, she's not the same as she was as a kid-- and she still has MUCH more to grow to TRULY grow up, and has taken an enormous step just now with Tavros's memory whether she realizes it or not.

ARADIABOT: "that aligns with y0ur aspect" ARADIABOT: "light players define themselves by their direct acti0ns and understanding"

Agency and Information, yeah! (Though that sort of goes somewhat against how I was saying earlier to Sollux's ominous portent how the Life/Doom axis was better about defining oneself by their actions; perhaps not by their actions but by... hm. Light players concern themselves more about agency (the ability to act) and then the MEANING of those actions, whereas Life players just DO and don't consider the meaning behind what they do as closely, don't LET IT DEFINE themselves as much, perhaps. Is that close to how I've described it before? I need to remember I'm learning from what the story is telling me, not JUST trying to fit it into my preconceived notions, as tempting as that is.

And yeah, a Time player gets to understand how these cycles of growth and then stagnation loops keep happening, the picture of Vriska as a person growing a bit but getting complacent and comfortable and slipping back into bad habits.

Vriska is barely but still willing to accept that there is "some8ody out there still w8ing for me, even after all my fum8ling". (SPOILERS VRISKA, IT'S TEREZI, YOU DUNKASS!)

Vriska says she's wondering whether she and Aradia, despite everything that happened, could have ever been friends.

ARADIABOT: y0u mean if y0u had put in the time and w0rked 0n wh0 y0u are and bec0me ultimately the best versi0n of y0urself? ARADIABOT: hmm ARADIABOT: n0 VRISKA: !!!!!!!! VRISKA: C-can I 8sk why???????? VRISKA: D8 you h8 me that much? ARADIABOT: i d0nt hate you ARADIABOT: but i d0nt want to spend my time 0n y0u either VRISKA: 8ut!!!!!!!! ARADIABOT: v.v VRISKA: ........ VRISKA: ........ ok. VRISKA: Ok.

Vriska was always SO DESPERATE for Aradia to feel SOMETHING towards her. Even hatred. And she was always denied. But not everything is meant to be. And even if she can become a better person, you're not always going to gel with everyone.

This is all so wonderful.

{Vriska: Take Aradia's hand.}

The quest recuperacoon where she ascended...

This is the last image I can put in this post and it made me teary-eyed the instant I saw it and it's still making me teary-eyed. Wow. Fucking... wow, this... this entire trapped-in-a-time-singularity psychological confrontation and growth experience Vriska is undergoing... this is better than anything I could have asked for, for her and from this story. I love this all so much. So fucking much.

VRISKA: 8ut I am actually sorry. For everything. TAVROS: yOURE RIGHT, iT'S DEFINITELY POINTLESS TO SAY, bUT, iT IS AN APPRECI8TED GESTURE };)

{==>}

VRISKA: And, it's not going to 8e the same again. VRISKA: I'll stick with it this time. I promise. ARADIA: we kn0w ARADIA: y0u have t0 ARADIA: n0 0ne else is g0ing t0 save y0u n0w VRISKA: 8ecause it's just me left? ARADIA: yes ARADIA: its just y0u ARADIA: g00d luck vriska ARADIA: i h0pe y0u get better s00n

Even the infinity symbol on her eyepatch has broken just a little bit, like a broken cycle. That got a couple actual tears out of me. This is incredible.

{Level Complete!}

...She's reached the "8OUNDARY RESPECTER" level on her weird new hell/perdition-themed solitary-candle-in-the-darkness echeladder.

Wow. That was just... incredible.

Mindfang's journal is next, but I've hit the image limit, and it's a miracle I've had the energy to push through and liveblog morning to night like this today... but it was all so amazing I couldn't stop, and for now I HAVE to take that image limit excuse to pace myself and not complete that final sequence that's currently out, just yet. I'll probably liveblog that tomorrow... and if I have energy, maybe even check out some of the commentary, unless that's pushing it. Gosh I love this webcomic so much, everyone. This is better than anything I could have possibly expected to happen when she used the Plot Point.

Oh my god... it's called {S} Begin Session because it's an extended THERAPY SESSION. :DDD

Thanks for being on this journey with you guys later, and I'll be caught up soon! There's no way I'm going to be able to get through ALL of the Patreon/bonus commentary I've missed since HS2 resumed in one day, and I can't guarantee I'll even start on it, but by sometime tomorrow I'll be caught up on Homestuck^2, posted, finally and waiting for the next part of this game on Page 666 with bated breath like everyone else, ready to liveblog it within a day or two of each new upd8 while I gradually crawl through whatever bonus material I haven't covered. :D

[alexandraisyes]

Confession time? You know what sure.

This fandom terrifies me. I've only been watching for nearly a year now. (I joined just after bloodmoons return)

The only reason I found teams is because of old animations of people in the regular dca / sun/moon fandom.

People that have turned away from tsams because of the harassment. But those animations made me check out the show.

And I as grew to love it more and more. I wanted to make content I grew scared. Because I was in the regular dca fandom and do just ship sun/moon

I have at this point gotten over that and posted two fics for TSAMS, even made artworks for fics I liked. And kept posting regular dca sun/moon stuff as well.

And so far nothing bad has happend but I know that won't last and that terrifies me. I am a fandom oldy. I have been part of fandoms wich were deemed to be some of the worst.

But there i was never so scared of posting my first fic for a fandom. And that is sad ain't it.

But when I posted my first tsams stuff. At least I know what I signed up for and am fully prepared for it. I know were I stand and am hopefully expierenced enough to tell when people will just try and provoke me Into picking a side

i have no desires to do for every singel issue this fandom seems to have (for some i think it's people just finding a reason to put you in a box to hate. So why make it easy on them. If they wanna know where I stand the can read through my blog. I ain't hiding my feeling on things)

I have my block button ready if need be. But I hope not.

I've seen some wonderful things being made in this fandom. And I hope that is something that will continue. But I do wonder how many people there were like me. That are/were to scared to post their work just because of the things going on. But unlike me...didn't find the courage to do so.

Sorry this got long and rambly as I tend to do...I hope it made some sense. And my phone didn't make to many autocorrects my tired brain won't see until it's way to late XD.

-Noffy

Hi Noffy! (Idk who you are, names are hard as fuck, but hi anyways!)

I know a lot of people have those same anxieties. Both in and out of the active fandom. I have a few friends with alt accounts purely for TSAMS because they primarily ship Sun/Moon or other DCA/DCA that don't have anything to do with TSAMS. I know a huge part of the fandom is made up of minors (and just generally younger folks/Gen Z) that just don't understand how fandom works.

If I had a nickel for how many times I've seen people in this fandom complaining about "incest ships and jokes" (oftentimes for things that are just the general DCA Sun/Moon that have NOTHING to do with TSAMS) and the other fans had to tell them how to use the block button I would have half of my phone bill. Because it's constant.

Which is partially why I'm so goddamned insistent on challenging those ideas of what the fandom experience is "supposed to be" in this fandom. We're in a fandom where it is canonically acknowledged that there are dimensions where Sun/Moon exist, and people are still freaking out over non-TSAMS Sun/Moon art. Can anyone else see the irony? Or those who pick and choose what AUs are or are not acceptable. If SolarMoon/SolarNexus can be an acceptable ship in this fandom under the pretense that "They were never brothers" or "They realized that they didn't want to be brothers" then every other "taboo" ship should be on the same level of acceptable since we're not dealing with living, blood-related things, but rather animatronics who decide family based on word of mouth.

So the just general hypocrisy in this fandom is fucking ridiculous and is why I'm constantly pushing onto people "If you see something that you think is interesting and want to make an AU do it!" Make the AUs. This is the AU fandom (other than Undertale but I advise people from going there, that place is getting worse by the day). Make conventional and unconventional AUs. I literally have a fucking fanfiction series about TSAMS with "Unconventional" in the name. (And it's a hit btw). The more people who stop worrying about what other people would think and just have fun the more enjoyable and less hostile this fandom would be.

And I talk about this kind of thing a lot on my page because I think it's important. I think the general hypocrisy is stupid. I think that hiding in fear is stupid too, and pretending to dislike or like things you don't is dishonest. To both others and yourself.

I'm glad that you finally felt comfortable enough to upload fanworks for this fandom, and I'm sorry that it took a gathering of courage to do so. And I hope that eventually, the people who are overwhelmingly positive and sane about fan experiences can outweigh the people who are more worried about fictional morality or canon compliance. I've had to block several people in this fandom already, either for trying to police the fandom or for deliberately breaking my boundaries (squinting at the minors who came in my discord to talk about my nsfw fanworks).

I also got long and rambly (as I also tend to do) so I'll forgive you for your petulance (/light-hearted).

I'm not "of old fandom" but I don't think that anything you do in fandom for the sake of enjoying fandom can be comparable to a real-life crime. I grew up teaching myself the old fandom mentality and I never once fathomed people could harass others over fictional works for the obvious reason that it's fiction and it's not hurting anyone. And if you didn't enjoy the book why were you reading it? These are things that I understood at quite a young age since I was an avid reader of normative fiction (novels). And when people complained about a book to me that they read of their own volition I always would wonder why they kept reading if they didn't enjoy it, for the obvious answer is when you come across a book you don't like seem to be to put it away.

So when I joined Twitter at age 17 one can imagine my shock at the idea that people were getting harassment over things that they made for other people, because one wouldn't publicly harass an author of a published novel for writing something they find distasteful. I think if more people would just treat fanworks the same way they treat solid media that you can turn the pages of we would have severely fewer issues in fandom. Someone spent time making content for others to enjoy (for free) and if you don't find yourself in the group that content is for then you don't have to make it everyone else's issues. Put the metaphorical book back on the shelf and find something else to do.

Ask Game - Send Me Confessions

[celestie0]

First time asker but long time reader 😭 I’m sorry that you got that shitty ask. It’s such a weird fucking thing to ask someone “hey when are you making these two fuck?” like… does that not feel weird to type out?

The gojo x reader tag has at least 5 explicit smut fics minimum daily, go read through those if you genuinely need sex in everything you read (it’s time to reflect on the porn addiction you have).

Regardless, I’ve been reading your fics on Ao3 and I absolutely LOVE the banter between gojo and reader 😭 it flows so fucking well I can feel the chemistry radiating from my screen. When I first started reading IHM, I was also an ancient hag like reader (29) so I found myself able to really relate to her. Usually when I envision Y/N, it’s a random person in their place but with this fic specifically idk why I lowkey insert myself? Everything she does, I would probably do the same and it makes me nervous (in a good way) that I’m gonna get attached to gojo and y/n’s relationship 😭

I absolutely love how gojo provides the security Y/N so desperately needs in the span of the fic. She has been suffocating on her own for so long that he just provides some fresh air. Dare I say meant to be?

The domesticity is everything and I like how we’re learning more about him alongside Y/N. So far we’ve seen just how supportive gojo has been and I’m excited to see how y/n comes through for him because my spidey senses (and your amazing writing) shows me that he has some baggage and it might resurface soon.

The build up to them realizing they love each other is making me giggle and kick my feet. I will happily eat whatever you feed us, thank you for sharing your writing with us. You absolutely have a talent for writing and fleshing out characters/relationships.

I appreciate you and will do my best to support you vocally from here on out 🥹 have a great week pls!

hi my love!! first of all thank you SO much for this supportive message, i srs teared up when i read it 😭 idk if that’s embarrassing to admit lololdjfsdfh but yea omg yesterday was rough so i can’t tell u how much it means to me

i agree on the porn addict thing omg like i love smut as much as the next person, but likeee to go into an author inbox after they just posted a 14k chap of their fic n say “are we gonna get smut soon?” like 💀 that’s sortaaaaa. i’m getting porn addiction vibes

aaaaaaaa i’m so happy you’re enjoying the banter in ihm :’’) and that you’re able to see yourself in reader’s shoes!! that’s such a wonderful thing n one of the aims of my writing ♥️ ♥️ also pls 29 is not ancient hag oml i mean there will be lots of rhetoric in ihm where reader thinks she’s old but like ultimately i want the message of the series to be that it’s never too late to start over and find happiness & joy :) i think that really applies to everything and everyone. and ahhh yes there will be some pretty angst stuffs BUT there will be happy ending <33

yes ihm gojo def got some baggage 😂😂 i need my men like that LOL. but thank you so much for being excited to see how reader comes through for him as well!! i know she’s going through a lot on her own, and that can sometimes cause her to neglect the things outside of her…but i think she has capacity to really be there for him too

oh my dear i really am so lucky to have you as a long time reader and i’m so grateful to hear your thoughts, but also please send them whenever you want to and without pressure <33 i will eat it tf up if/when you do but yea xD never feel burdened to! you have a wonderful week as well omg imma eat u fr

[kasagia]

Just finished reading your Feyd Rautha fic… HOLY FUCK. I think you’re the writer who truly got Feyd down to a T. Also the way the relationship between him and the reader is explored… 😮‍💨 I really feel like it could be canon (and I’m not even joking). Please, please write part 2, I need to know what will happen next 🫣🥺!

P.S. I hate the harpies, kill them 😂

Aaaaaaa! Thank you so much my dear anonymous! 😊🥰🩵🖤🖤🩵

I

I'm so happy that I managed to capture Feyd's character! I was afraid that I made him a little... too soft for the reader, but I am happy that it worked out. But somehow it suits me so well that the reader can cross certain boundaries and is probably not at such risk of his... unexpected attack. And that is huge compliment for me that 'it could be canon'. 😅🤭

When it comes to part 2. I have one scene left (or two, I'm not sure yet) to write. So if all goes well, I will publish it on Monday or Tuesday. And get ready for something... long. Sorry. 🙈 (But it will be a bit fluff!! I hope that I didn't go too far and make them too sweet copule ekhem... I mean partners. Friends. Na-baron and his right hand. Clearly professional. No feelings include. xD)

P.S. I don't like harpies either, but I'll see what I can do... maybe not in the second part, but... 😈🤭

II

He was interrupted so rudely... fortunately (for him, not the reader), he will have a bit more luck in the second part... just a little bit... 🤭😇

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! 😊🥰🖤🩵🖤🩵🖤🩵

[animeomegas]

24 Hours - Chapter 6

[Alpha!Reader x Omega!Sasuke x Omega!Naruto]

Summary: You were resolutely avoiding thinking about how you were going to pick your future after this whole experience, because every day made it harder and harder. This cycle was both the one you expected the most and had never considered. GN!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Warnings: n-sfw content. 

(This is it! The final main chapter before the epilogue!! I hope everyone has had a good time with this! It’s now up to @omeganronpa​ to choose the epilogue and let me say that I don’t envy that position XD I do not pick it, so don’t waste your breath asking me for anything haha. Happy holidays everyone! 💕💕)

Word Count: 6.3k

Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Epilogue

You knew something wasn’t quite right as you started to regain consciousness. The summer breeze was gone now, as was the smell of flowers, but that wasn’t it. It was… weight. Something heavy was on top of you.

Wait, what?

You lurched forward suddenly, sending the weight sprawling off you and on to the floor with a yelp.

“Hey! What was that for?!” the weight yelled from somewhere on the floor.

Oh, this was your next 24-hour cycle.

“You will have 24 hours with the seven people you could love the most and who could love you in return. Learn so that you may choose wisely.”

Right, thanks, a bit late on the reminder this time because you had just tossed this day’s omega directly onto the floor. That was not what a good mate did.

More importantly though, you knew that voice.

A fluffy head of blond, spiky hair popped up over the side of the bed, the man it was attached to rubbing the back of his head and directing a grumpy look at you.

“Naruto?” you asked, delighted. You had been wondering if you’d be mated to any of your teammates during this thing, and here you were! It was also a relief to be paired with someone you knew a little better; you’d hopefully have more to say and less of a chance of asking the wrong question.

“Yeah?” he asked, climbing off the floor. “You totally need to say sorry for throwing me off the-oh fuck! Is that the time?!”

Suddenly, all traces of sleepiness and grumpiness fled Naruto immediately and he launched himself up on his feet and lurched to a nearby wardrobe before rifling through it.

“I am so late! Shikamaru’s gonna be pissed!” he whined, frantically grabbing clothes and trying to change and pack a bag at the same time.

You just watched him, scrambling to get your bearings. Naruto looked so different to the boy you’d met when you were still single digit aged children. His shoulders had broadened considerably, his voice was deeper and the way he held himself was different too.

You didn’t have to speculate over how you might have ended up with Naruto because you already knew. You’d been friends and teammates for years and you’d bonded over many shared experiences and traumas. You were incredibly close to Naruto, even after the long period away he’d spent with Jiraiya.

As you watched Naruto trip trying to pull up his trousers and get to the bathroom to brush his teeth at the same time, you thought about those early genin days. The sleepovers with Sakura, pranking mean shopkeepers with Naruto, shouting at Kakashi for being late… It was a little painful to think about those simpler days. Everything had changed so much.

After furiously brushing his teeth, Naruto emerged from the bathroom, little patches of toothpaste still lingering at the corner of his mouth.

“Ugh, I still can’t believe he didn’t wake either of us,” Naruto grumbled, picking up his bag and throwing it over his shoulder.

What? That sentence didn’t make any sense to you. Was someone supposed to have come round and… picked Naruto up for work or something? You got out of bed just as Naruto ran out of the room. You could hear his footsteps pounding down the stairs and you decided to follow him, leaping out of bed yourself.

You didn’t have time to explore the rooms upstairs, but if Naruto was going to work, then you’d have time to do so later. So many thoughts were running through your head as you went down the stairs that you couldn’t pinpoint one to focus on.

One thought became dominant when you saw the hokage robes and hat hanging by the front door. Was Naruto the hokage? Had he really done it? You couldn’t stop the grin from forming on your face. He was so impossibly amazing. You felt an overwhelming urge to hug him, but he had disappeared further into the house. You followed where you thought he’d gone, almost skipping as you did. You couldn’t believe that not only was Naruto hokage, but you were mated to him!! Naruto! Who was the hokage!

As you approached what looked like a living dining room, you could hear Naruto’s voice once again, although it was too low for you to make out any words. Who was he talking to?

You peered around the corner, conscious that you were in your pyjamas still, and saw Naruto crouched in front of the sofa, talking to someone. Only the back of their head was visible, but your heart lurched as you figured out who the man must be.

You watched as Naruto pulled a blanket over the other man’s shoulder, and even though he slapped at Naruto’s hands, he didn’t remove the blanket once it was there.

“-in pre heat, not dying, moron,” the man replied, just loud enough for you to catch the end of the sentence.

It was him. You were sure of it. The black hair, his voice. You watched as Naruto pecked him on the lips. Oh.

You ducked back into the corridor, feeling overwhelmed. It was there that you noticed all the pictures lining the walls.

The biggest one was from a wedding ceremony, with you, Sasuke and Naruto standing in the middle, a just visible Sakura and Kakashi stood on the edges. The second picture to capture your attention was one of you and Naruto each kissing one cheek of a very grumpy looking Sasuke. Then there was one from a dinner party, presumably after the wedding because all the clothes were the same. This time you spotted Iruka, Sai and Shikamaru there too.

There were pictures like that everywhere, on every surface and spare bit of wall space.

You, Naruto and Sasuke had… you’d…

Naruto had brought him back, you knew it must have been him, he’d then become hokage and the three of you had clearly got together.

It was… unbelievable, but you could see it. The more you thought about it, the more you understood.

Naruto walked out of the living room and into the corridor where you were standing, and you didn’t know what to do other than tear up and throw yourself at him for a hug.

“Woah, hey,” he said gently, wrapping his arms around you. It only made more tears appear to have him treat you so softly. “What’s going on? You okay?”

You just sniffed and squeezed him.

“Don’t cry,” he said, squeezing you back. “Because then I’ll cry, and I won’t even know why we’re crying.”

You laughed wetly and pulled back, rubbing at your eyes.

“Sorry, sorry,” you cleared your throat and wiped the last of the tears from your cheeks. “I don’t know what happened there, got overwhelmed I guess.”

Naruto nodded but looked towards the door anxiously.

“I really have to go, but I’m only going for the morning, I’ll be back this afternoon as planned, I promise!” he said, looking guilty over leaving you and Sasuke. “His heat isn’t supposed to hit until tomorrow, so everything will be fine, please don’t cry.”

Sasuke’s heat? Yes, you had heard him talk about pre heat earlier, that made sense. He must have thought you were crying because you were worried or overwhelmed about that. Naruto seemed to be hovering by the door, waiting to hear your response before leaving.

“Okay,” you said, pulling yourself together. “I’ll see you in a few hours, yeah?”

Naruto grinned.

“Believe it!”

And with that, he was out the front door like a flash, leaving you and Sasuke home alone. How many times had you imagined a scenario like this? Seeing Sasuke again in Konoha? Too many.

You walked towards the living room, towards Sasuke, like you were possessed. You had to go to him, to see him for yourself and know that he was okay.

You tentatively stepped back into the living room and around the couch until you could see Sasuke’s face. All the air felt like it was punched out of you. It was really, truly him.

His hair was differently styled, longer than you remembered, but just as inky black. The blanket that Naruto had draped over him was still there, covering what looked like lounge clothes, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes slightly hazy. Pre heat, your mind supplied, he was in pre heat.

It was weird to see him older, but weirder to see him in such a vulnerable state. He always tried so hard to avoid situations where someone might see him not on top form. But here he was.

“Good morning,” you whispered, still staring at him.

“Good morning,” came a quiet reply. And that was enough to overwhelm your common sense completely.

You surged forward and the last thing you saw before you pressed your lips against his was the slight widening of his eyes. You were desperate to touch him, your hands flitting from his face to his neck to his chest. You needed to feel him to know it was real. His hands were hovering in shock, but slowly they came to rest on your shoulders and his kissing back got more enthusiastic.

You kissed, and you kissed, and you kissed until your lips were warm and starting to swell. You were soothing yourself with his presence and he appeared happy to let you. The little noises escaping from him added so much to the kiss. When you bit his bottom lip, he gasped. When you sucked on his tongue, he moaned. When you put pressure on his neck with your hands, he basically melted into your grasp.

Your mind was going haywire. He was safe. He was home. He was in heat. And he was yours.

You eventually pulled away to breathe, but something was burning at the back of your throat as you panted. You couldn’t place the cause of it for a moment, but then it hit you like a kunai handle to the head.

It was the scent of slick.

Sasuke appeared to realise it at the same time you did. You saw him panic and start to close off and pull away, but you couldn’t let him pull away, not when the last time he’d done that he’d ended up with Orochimaru. So, you pressed forward again.

You reconnected your lips, but this time with enough force to knock him backwards. Once he was laying down on the couch, you climbed over him and hovered above his hips as you kissed.

Sasuke whined and bared his neck for you now that you were on top. It was pretty normal behaviour for an omega in pre heat being kissed by their mate, but it lit a fire under you anyway.

Had that night with Haku removed your awkwardness around sex completely? Because you didn’t feel anything but desire right now.

No, you just wanted to prove to yourself that Sasuke was real, and the pheromones he was pumping out were messing with your head, that sounded more accurate.

You had flashes of memories from last night invade your mind too, but you tried to push them away, fearing it to be disrespectful to think of another omega at a time like this.

You focused instead on kissing and biting your way down his neck. He was yours. Yours and Naruto’s too. Orochimaru couldn’t have him, you wouldn’t let it happen, not again, never again.

“Stop!” Sasuke said suddenly, voice weak and strangled. “Stop, y-you’ll trigger it early, I don’t want that.”

He pushed at your chest, and you climbed off him as requested. It was like a spell had broken. You could think clearly now, and you had no idea what that reaction had just been. You felt embarrassed that you had lost yourself like that.

You both panted for a while to catch your breath, you sitting on the floor by the couch while Sasuke remained laying on it.

Eventually, Sasuke started to squirm in discomfort. Probably from all the slick leaking into his underwear, which was something you tried very hard to avoid imagining and still failed. He got up, mumbling something you couldn’t make out before scurrying up the stairs, embarrassed.

You let out your own relieved breath as he left. That had been intense.

You sat for a few minutes, just sorting out your emotions towards the situation before you realised that you had an omega in pre heat that you had to look after. You didn’t know how to do that.

Let’s think, what were pre heat symptoms? You grabbed a pad of paper from the coffee table and wrote down a list of everything you could remember from your academy classes.

Pre heat symptoms

·         Large appetite

·         Sleeps more

·         Clingy w/ loved ones, esp. mates

·         Emotional fluctuation

·         Desire to nest and maybe clean/organise nest?

·         ???

You stared at the list, irritated that you had forgot most of the lessons on dynamics from the academy. Not that those lesson weren’t shit anyway.

Regardless, the list was the only thing you had to go on, so you should probably cook a bunch of food for when Sasuke eventually came down, and maybe after eating he’d want a nap? You could bundle him up on the sofa maybe.

Yeah, that sounded like a good plan! Or at least the best plan you had. And hopefully Naruto would be home after that. He would know what to do.

So, you stood up and found the kitchen and then started to cook anything and everything you could find in the kitchen to provide for your mate during his pre heat. You wanted to make sure that you were taking care of him like a mate should; Sasuke shouldn’t carry the burden for your ill preparedness, after all.

…

About twenty minutes later, Sasuke came back down in different clothes, his hair damp from the shower. You were still making up a tray full of food for him, thankfully future you had obviously stocked the kitchen in advance. You also felt confident that you had a good grasp on the kinds of food he liked, which took some of the stress away.

While you finished up the cooking, Sasuke fluttered back and forth between sitting in the living room with his blanket from earlier and coming into the kitchen to watch you cook in silence. His pre heat was likely making him feel lonely, but the kitchen didn’t provide as much comfort as the soft furnishings on the couch.

By the time you were done, you had filled the tray with all sorts of foods and snacks. Admittedly, you probably went overboard, but you’d never cooked for an omega in pre heat and you weren’t sure how hungry they got and you’d rather have too much than too little.

You carried the heaving tray into the living room where Sasuke seemed the most comfortable and slid it onto the coffee table. Sasuke’s stomach growled as you did so, and your inner alpha purred happily at the thought that you had predicted and met your omega’s needs.

Damn, this ‘being around an omega in heat’ thing was driving your instincts wild. You didn’t realise it would be so strong.

Sasuke didn’t say thank you, but he did press himself up against your side once you sat down, which was basically the same thing in Uchiha speak. He ate slowly and methodically, which made you worry that you had indeed made too much food, but despite his slow speed, he didn’t stop after one plate, or two plates, or three plates. In fact, he didn’t stop until the entire tray was empty.

Iruka sensei clearly hadn’t been lying about the hunger part of pre heat. You knew it was because of his need to store calories that would be burnt off during his heat and not so easily replaced when his appetite dropped. You had heard of omegas who barely ate anything during their heats, so it was the safest strategy to stock up beforehand.

When he swallowed his last mouthful, Sasuke sighed contentedly and put more weight against your side.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, pressing a hand to his forehead. He was definitely warmer than normal.

“I’m fine,” Sasuke replied, his words almost interrupted by a yawn. That’s right, he should be getting sleepy now. Along with conserving calories, omegas in pre heat also had to conserve energy in case their heat was intense enough to keep them awake for 2-3 days.

You pushed all the empty plates and cutlery onto the coffee table and made sure the couch was clear of all debris.

“Hey, why don’t you take a nap?” you said gently. The Sasuke you remembered probably wouldn’t take too kindly to such a suggestion, but this Sasuke seemed to begrudgingly agree because he pulled his blanket back around his shoulders and made himself comfy on your shoulder.

It was so cute that he immediately used you as a pillow.

You leant back to allow him a better angle and his breathing dropped almost immediately. He must have been tired.

As Sasuke dozed, pressed up against your side, you finally had time to think.

The first thoughts in your head were about Sasuke. You still couldn’t believe that Naruto had fulfilled his promise of bringing Sasuke home to Konoha and that he’d seemingly escaped any major punishment for his actions while he was a missing nin. It filled you with excitement for the day that your Sasuke would return home, whether that was in a romantic or platonic context, you weren’t sure yet.

It felt natural to go from thinking about that to thinking about the relationship you had with both Naruto and Sasuke in this version of your future. You wouldn’t have really considered such a thing, but that didn’t mean you didn’t fully understand how you could be happy with them. A lot of the things you had thought about Naruto earlier, also applied to Sasuke. All three of you had gone through so much together and you’d always be closer than close. And in this world, that closeness was apparently really close.

Like, really close, you thought as Sasuke breathed on your neck.

Also, you couldn’t lie, it would be worth picking this future just to see the look on everyone’s face, especially Kakashi sensei’s, when you mated both the team omegas.

Would Naruto and Sasuke get together if you picked someone else? Should you play matchmaker? That might be fun, even if you went with a different version of your future.

Wait! Your stomach dropped as you realised something pretty significant. The fortune teller’s repeated message had said you would be spending these 24-hour cycles with the seven people that you could love the most. You had assumed that meant seven cycles, of which this was six, but if you had two mates this time, then that meant you’d experienced all seven…

This was your last cycle.

You felt strange thinking about that. It felt like you’d only just started, it had gone so quickly, like a fever dream. Not that you were fully convinced that this wasn’t a fever dream still. Anxiety about making your decision started to grow in your chest, but you pushed it away as best as you could. You needed to enjoy this cycle, give Naruto and Sasuke their fair shot, and not worry about tomorrow. You could make your decision once this ended, but while it was happening, you would forget about it.

With those thoughts still floating around your mind, you drifted to sleep, the scent of a contended omega knocking you out faster than you expected.

…

It was the sound of giggling that woke you up in the end. You slowly opened your eyes part way, keeping them somewhat protected from the sudden influx of light, and you were greeted by Naruto in his full hokage gear, a camera clutched in his hands.

It was so weird to see him wearing the hat like that.

You tried to sit up only to realise something was pinning you down. You opened your eyes properly and your vision was partially obscured by a head of black hair that was purring away buried in your neck.

Sasuke had certainly moved quite a bit in his sleep, because you were now completely pinned under him. Now wonder you were feeling so warm; it was a mixture of the body heat from Sasuke and the embarrassment that Naruto had obviously just taken a picture of you both like this.

Naruto looked so giddy though, which soothed your embarrassment somewhat.

“Wanna play video games while he sleeps?” Naruto said quietly but with a huge grin.

“Hell yeah, I do,” you replied in the same tone. “But you’re going to have to help me out of here first.”

Naruto snorted, putting down the bags in his hands on the coffee table, just about managing to fit them around the breakfast debris, and coming over to extract you from Sasuke’s unrelenting grip.

It took about five minutes, but you were eventually freed, and Sasuke was left to doze by himself, now hugging a pillow that you had scented instead. Naruto had run to get changed while you tidied up the plates and cutlery and also had a nosey in the bags. Naruto had brought more food back with him, something that you were incredibly happy to see; you had a lot of food in, but not enough if Sasuke was going to eat like a one-man army for every meal.

When Naruto returned, you sat on floor cushions together in front of the TV. You were incredibly excited to see some future video games. Hell, even games that were from your time would be great because it wasn’t like you’d had time to play any recently.

Naruto picked out some sort of fighting game, which didn’t surprise you for even one moment, and you decided to chat with him while he set it up.

“How was work, hokage sama?” you asked, teasing him by knocking him on the knee with your foot. “Did you sign lots of important things?”

“Ugh, I don’t normally wish for that, but paperwork would have been a thousand times better than having to meet with the civilian council,” he grimaced. “I’m so glad Shikamaru knew stuff about the business fairs in Wind Country, because the council is wanting to start doing something similar here and I didn’t even know what they were.”

You snorted. Naruto was incredibly overpowered, but you weren’t sure he’d ever understand business or economics. You were pretty good thankfully, so you would be a gracious friend and offer to help on occasion.

Wait, Shikamaru? Was Naruto the hokage that had been partly responsible for overworking Shikamaru? Or was it the hokage before him? You did seem to be a bit older in this cycle than Shikamaru’s but still…

This man better hope he wasn’t the cause of Shikamaru’s breakdown, because your plans for when you returned would change from ‘help Shikamaru’s friends support him in making reasonable boundaries’ to ‘beat up your friend for causing problems’.

“That sucks,” you said instead of voicing your threat. “At least you’re home now, the council can’t get you here.”

Naruto laughed and passed you a controller.

“I wouldn’t put it past them to try breaking down the door. Anyway, are you ready to get your ass beat?”

You scoffed at his smack talk.

“You wish, fishcake boy, I’m going to destroy you!”

Naruto squawked in protest.

“You are not!”

“Are too!”

“In your dreams!”

You ended up winning the first round by the skin of your teeth. Button mashing was the superior tactic after all. Naruto was way too focused on combos and flashy moves.

“Whatever,” Naruto grumbled as you gloated in his face. “I would totally win in a real fight, that’s what counts.”

You knew that he was right. He was the hokage and you were mentally about a decade in the past, so there was no way you could hope to fight Naruto and win.

But you weren’t going to let that fact stop your banter.

“No, I would totally win,” you argued. “All I’d have to do is like, put a poisoned bowl of ramen in front of you and it’d be game over. Playing dirty with ramen would be my winning strategy.”

“Playing dirty with ramen, huh?” Naruto said, wiggling his eyebrows. “There’s an idea for when it’s time for my heat.”

“Gross!” you protested, pushing him on his shoulders. “You’re disgusting, Naruto.”

“Yeah? Are you saying you don’t want to lick ramen broth off my stomach?”

“Shut up,” you said, trying your best not to imagine it. “You disgust me.”

“Does this disgust you?” he said, before pouncing on you, sending you both to the floor. He covered your face in kisses while you squealed at him to stop. You decided to tickle him in revenge and soon you were both laughing and shrieking and out of breath.

Naruto was hovering over you, chest heaving, signature grin looking at home on his face, when he looked at something over his head.

“Oops,” he said, getting off you. “We didn’t mean to wake you, Sasuke, sorry.”

Oh, you had forgotten that Sasuke was there. You sat up, Naruto climbing off you, and turned to see Sasuke with a tremendously bad bedhead looking at you in return.

It took everything in you not to laugh at his hair, but something told you that if even Naruto had resisted from teasing him, you should avoid it too.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, getting up with his blanket still tucked around him. He walked over to you and Naruto and slotted himself in between you without acknowledging either of you. You and Naruto wordlessly shuffled to make room for him.

“Here,” Naruto said passing him one of the bags from the coffee table. “You should eat.”

Sasuke accepted the bag and immediately started digging through the snacks it contained. He ended up picking out a pack of onigiri to munch on while Naruto started up the next round of your game.

This was so domestic and lovely. You had never imagined there would be a future where you and Naruto and Sasuke would be here together like this, snuggled up on the floor, playing video games and eating onigiri.

At one point, Naruto attempted to snatch an onigiri from Sasuke, but he was promptly growled away.

“Alright, alright, I’ll grab something else,” he said easily, pressing a kiss to Sasuke’s head, something which only make him growl more. “Want something?”

He held the bag open for you and you spotted a few of your favourite sprinkled in. You gratefully grabbed one; you hadn’t had much of the food earlier because Sasuke had eaten most of it.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in much the same way, you and Naruto making your way through several video games, Sasuke, who slowly became more and more animated, giving his cruel and brutal commentary about how much you both sucked at them.

And if the bickering made you tear up a few times, well, no one appeared to notice.

…

By the time the evening had rolled around, you had all decided to relocate to the nest upstairs. Sasuke had started getting antsy and you were grateful that Naruto was there to understand that that behaviour meant he needed to go to his nest, because you were too ill informed on pre heats to pick that up and Sasuke was too stubborn to admit when he needed something.

This was the second nest you were invading during this weird time travel themed week, even though you technically had permission. It felt like wandering onto sacred land with the permission of the senile groundskeeper who had mistaken you for the deity the land was dedicated to. You had permission, but technically under false pretences.

At least Naruto and Sasuke were both your friends and teammates. That made it a little less weird than entering Kiba’s nest had been.

The nesting room was split in half, one side for Naruto’s nest and the other side, Sasuke’s. You could immediately tell which half was which.

Sasuke’s was filled with mainly dark colours, woollen blankets and a cute little shelf that had a bunch of things for a heat stacked on there. Naruto’s side was bright, chaotic, and filled with stuffed toys and cushions more than blankets. He also had a mini fridge on his side that he’d covered with stickers.

It was a weird visual.

Regardless, you all found your spot, favouring Sasuke’s side of the nest mostly, seeing as he was the one in pre heat.

“This feels like a sleep over,” you said, reclining backwards. “It’s like we’re about to start talking about crushes or something.”

Naruto laughed and picked up a pillow from his own side to throw at you.

“Or should we have a pillow fight?” he teased. “I mean, it’s not like any of our crushes will be that interesting, it’ll just be people already in the room.”

“It’s not a sleepover,” Sasuke grumbled, picking up the stray pillow and throwing it back to Naruto’s side of the nest. “And we’re not having a pillow fight.”

“Yeah, but I mean,” you continued, ignoring Sasuke for a moment. “We all must have had crushes before we got together, right? Like what about Haku?”

“Oh, Haku,” Naruto sighed dreamily. “I saw him the other day, he’s still super pretty.”

“He is,” you agreed, thinking of a very different encounter than Naruto likely was.

There was silence for a moment before both you and Naruto turned to Sasuke expectantly. Sasuke crossed his arms and didn’t say anything, but as the silence carried on, he turned his head away and spoke.

“Haku’s… nice looking,” he said reluctantly.

“Come off it, you totally had a crush on him during that mission! We all did!” Naruto said, indignantly. “You can’t fool us.”

“I did not,” Sasuke said. “He tried to kill us.”

“So?” Naruto replied, sounding unsure what that would have to do with finding someone attractive.

“You’re an idiot,” was the only thing Sasuke said, before he turned over on his side, facing one of the walls.

“Noooo, don’t ignore me,” Naruto whined, leaning over and poking Sasuke on the cheek. “You’re supposed to love me.”

“Get off of me,” he growled, shoving backwards. His words had no real animosity in them though, you were fluent enough in Uchiha to recognise that. “Dobe.”

Now, you’d seen Naruto and Sasuke fight many, many times before, far too many times in fact and the more recent times hurt your heart to think about, but what was ensuing in front of you right now was nothing like that… They were slapping at each other’s hands like children.

“This is like watching a puppy and a kitten playfight,” you muttered to yourself, never taking your eyes off the weirdly competitive hand slapping fight. You wished they would stop though, what was the best way to do that? Shock value perhaps?

“Well, my first crush was Iruka sensei.”

Both of them froze, blinking at you in sync, before-

“What!” Naruto yelled, before choking on his own spit. “What- but- how- Iruka sensei? Seriously? Why?”

Sasuke looked quietly horrified and was obviously thinking the same thing. You had succeeded in distracting them, but at what cost?

“Well, I guess, um,” you felt bashful under their incredulous eyes. “I don’t know he was so nice and reliable and a really good teacher and he has pretty eyes and an even prettier smile so-“

You kept babbling, not helping your case at all. Naruto looked like he was questioning everything in the universe while Sasuke looked a little green around the gills.

“He was our teacher,” Sasuke emphasised. “Our teacher.”

“I know that!” you said defensively. “I’m not saying I tried anything! It’s totally normal for kids to get crushes on their teachers, y’know, you don’t have to get weird about it.”

“Next you’ll be telling us you had a crush on Kakashi sensei,” Naruto said with a grimace.

“Ew,” was your only reply.

“Ew,” Sasuke added.

“Ew,” Naruto finished.

You all looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing.

You definitely needed to do more of this when you went back to your time, when Sasuke returned, and Naruto wasn’t so busy. You would invite Sakura too, Sai as well. You wanted this in your life so badly. Friends and hang outs and sleepovers and just, everything.

But you needed to be in the village more often for that to happen. You decided then and there, as you watched Naruto and Sasuke laugh until they cried at the thought of someone having a crush on Kakashi sensei, that you would figure out a way to stay in the village more.

You didn’t want to be miserable and alone forever.

…

You had all bantered and chatted for a while. It was fun to be with your friends again and interesting to hear more details about the years you hadn’t lived.

Apparently, Naruto had had a rather persistent admirer/stalker a few years ago that Sasuke took great pleasure in mocking, Kakashi had been the hokage before Naruto (and wasn’t that a wild thought) and apparently Sai had done a whole myriad of things that meant Sasuke scoffed every time someone said his name.

It was a top tier gossip session.

A top tier gossip session that had somehow ended with Sasuke’s cock in Naruto’s mouth.

“Not so fast,” Sasuke gasped, fisting a hand into Naruto’s hair. “Watch the teeth.”

Naruto rolled his eyes but obliged, slowing right down, likely much more than Sasuke had wanted because he bucked his hips in protest.

You were kneeling by Sasuke’s head feeling like a strange, perverted voyeur. You should definitely be joining in somehow, but all the confidence you had from earlier was nowhere to be seen. It was intimidating… maybe you should just start with something easier and more familiar.

Like kissing. Kissing worked.

You reangled yourself and bent down over Sasuke’s head, cupping his face with your hands. He seemed eager, tilting his head up, ready to receive your kiss. You kissed him slowly, forcing as much sensuality as you could into it. Sasuke was much sloppier than earlier, likely due to the activities of Naruto down below, but it didn’t matter to you. Being able to swallow all the little noises he made with your lips was incredibly hot and you were happy to do it.

Sasuke’s movements became jerkier and jerkier as time moved on. He was moaning more, gasping more, seemingly forgetting that he was in the middle of a kiss more. You snuck one hand down to his bare chest, not to focus on increasing his pleasure, but just to rub soothing circles on his chest. If pre heat was anything like pre rut, he would enjoy some soothing touches mixed in with the sexy ones.

“I’m going to-“ Sasuke seized and you pulled back to watch. His face contorted, little flashes of red visible behind his eyelids, and his toes curled. Naruto didn’t try to pull away, in fact, he seemed to push Sasuke’s cock further down his throat, sealing his lips around the base.

It was all over in a few seconds, but as you watched Sasuke collapse, panting, like he’d just had his soul sucked out and Naruto swallow with a cheeky grin and a wipe of his lips, it felt like eternity.

“Are you up next?” Naruto asked with a wolfish grin. “I think Sasuke needs a break.”

Just the insinuation that he needed a break had Sasuke opening his eyes and struggling to sit up.

“I shouldn’t do anymore, or my heat will trigger,” he said, like he was explaining why he couldn’t join without an insult to his stamina. “We shouldn’t have done that anyway.”

“That’s fine, Sasuke, don’t push yourself,” you said, wanting to be a supportive mate through the cloud of arousal.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Naruto concurred. “You can just watch.”

By the end, you could add ‘Naruto has a magical mouth’ to the list of things you’d learnt on this cycle.

…

This was your final night like this, in the future. Your heart ached as you imagined returning to the loneliness that you remembered.

Stop, you reprimanded yourself, this whole thing was about knowing how to fix the loneliness, not returning to wallow in it. You would be fine. You could make a game plan during your first few days, and you would build a life you loved.

Sasuke snuffled a bit on your chest and shifted his position to be more comfortable. You were all laying together now, Sasuke on his side of the nest, Naruto on his side, and you in the middle. It was so comfortable that you fully believed they had coordinated the nests to allow a comfy spot for you in the middle. How sweet.

Naruto, on the other hand, was entertaining himself by fiddling with your hair, but his hand movements had been getting slower and slower as he relaxed further into the nest.

“Goodnight,” he said, yawning. “Don’t forget to wake us up if you go into heat, okay? That’s why we’re here.”

“Hn,” a very tired Sasuke agreed, not bothering to open his eyes. His head was a pleasant weight on your chest, and it was clear that he was already halfway to dreamland.

“Goodnight to you, too,” he whispered, leaning over and pressing his lips against yours. “I hope you sleep well because you’re going to need it.”

“Goodnight,” you whispered into the dark room. “To both of you. I promise I’ll cherish this day forever.”

And for the final time, you closed your eyes in the future, knowing that you’d open them in the past.

You didn’t quite finish deciding whether you were going to kiss the fortune teller or punch her in the face before your consciousness drifted away.

Next chapter