#this has been a psa i will be drawing women

[osteichthyens]

i love women AHHHH women are everything to me RAHHHHHGHH RAGHHHHHH GGRRRRAHHRHH

[syntheticpaperd0ll]

i dunno who needs to hear this but making art featuring and centered around fat people helps. some people are gonna be mad about it but that's their problem. they can stay mad. fat people exist and we are no less human than thin people! draw your favourite characters chubby. give your ocs some weight around the waist. im trying to learn how to draw different body types and you should too if you havent already! if you have, this is your sign to draw more overweight people. as a fat person irl (and afab at that, in this freaking society), who is trying to accept their body for what it is, seeing representation for mine and other larger body types is a huge help.

[dairy-farmer]

hope my question doesn't sound so awful, i'm curious, when it comes to you and your ships like BruTim and etc., would you consider yourself a proshipper?

it's not! don't worry!

i consider myself very firmly anti-censorship which means that i am very firmly proship.

i know that there has been an attempt at changing the meaning of proshipping by people trying to cast it in a bad light because if you control the definition of something then you basically control all future arguments. (interestingly it's anti shipping that is the reason for pro ship's existence. livejournal was full of people telling others that their ships were gross and launching crusades against ships they hated calling themselves "anti-x-ship". pro, the opposite of anti, emerged to show as a symbol that you weren't an asshole. a lot of proshippers don't like or even approve of all ships but they believe you shouldn't get targeted and harassed for something as stupid as a ship essentially)

proshipping is something that i agree with not only for the anti-censorship aspects, it's also the finer details

1) your fictional interests are not a reflection of your irl beliefs

2) that harassment, doxing, and threats are not a logical or stable reactions to seeing something you don't like

3) fiction is not what influences reality it is interpretation of fiction that does (you were already a bad person if something you saw on tv or read in a book made you violent or do something depraved etc)

i've been lurking in fandom for a long time and i've noticed a trend with antis that have shaped a very low opinion of them because of the glaringly clear political agenda so many antis appear to have. there's been a rise in 'anti rhetoric' that pretty closely coincides with the rise in american alt-right movements and this is no different because it's people being radicalized by the exact same pipeline. anti's, right wing, q-anon people, etc say (oftentimes line for line) the EXACT same arguments.

arguments that tend to be anti women and anti lgbtq+

i realize indoctrination is hard to spot especially if you're young, vulnerable, or its being said by someone you look up to. but there are two things to keep in mind when you think about all the claims and stances antis make.

is the claim outlandish or incredibly bold? such as saying that people who like lolicon or make nsfw art of underaged characters are pedophiles. that is a VERY serious accusation and people online say it like its nothing. when you understand the full depravity of a crime like pedophilia there is ABSOLUTELY no way you could ever equate drawings of a fictional character to a living breathing child.

who benefits from you believing those claims?

-you ever wonder why ao3 writers who are majority queer women in their mid 20s tend to be baselessly accused of pedophilia? even though the profile of a pedophile in the USA is of a middle-aged white man in their 30s-40s? if we wanted to characterize fandoms by most likely to have pedophiles i'd be eyeing the nascar and sports fandoms given their fan basis fit the profile better.

did you know referring to queer people as pedophiles is a very age old tactic of eliminating public support or sympathy for them. look up 'boys beware' a 1955 PSA directed at boys to help protect them from the "sick" "pedophiles" known as the homosexuals.

-you ever wonder why antis claim to be "for the children" and yet use terms like 'cp' when referring to real children?

did you know RAINN has stated the proper term to use is CSAM-child sexual abuse materials. because 'child' and 'porn' cannot be used in the same sentence? fundamentally "(often) pornography online depicts adults who have consented to be filmed, that’s never the case when the images depict children". you'd think someone who cares so much for real children would get that.

-you ever wonder why so many antis rally for censorship on ao3 and cite the overnight mass deletion and censorship of fanworks from livejournal as proof of something that occurred because there was too much "cp" on the cite?

did you know it was it the 'warriors for innocence' who were behind not just livejournal but issues with other fansites and who directly stated their goal was to "hunt down people who support homosexuality, pedophilia and incest" and who have very clear ties to dominionism, and "Christian Patriot" militias?

do you notice how that's exactly what antis today say about "proshitters" just without the 'homosexuality' part because that part is being whispered since they know being homophobic within fandoms who are en mass queer would lose them a lot of support?

the anti and proship structure is a very american creation because it was born on forums mainly populated by americans and its only recently that this has started affecting overseas fandoms. recently on twitter a LOT of japanese artists have started referring to themselves as proshippers and blocking anyone who has 'antiship' in their description box because proship is the default for basically everywhere else that doesn't have american theocratic conservative powerplays.

maybe being an anti started as being an asshole but that's no longer the case. it's no longer just about "i hate this ship" its becomes "i hate this ship because ive fallen into an alt-right pipeline to appeal to the young future conservative and so fiction is real and you, a dirty fucking queer, are a pedophile, rapist, molester!!!!'

all you have to do to see a grown up politically involved "anti" is to turn on an american news station and watch the debate about banning library books that contain "explicit material" like things related to critical race theory or homosexuality. because that's what an anti evolves into. that's what all indoctrinated conservatives evolve into.

so the anti objectives and alignments have very firmly changed to something i will never respect or side with.

i think that an old article about WFI can summerize what i think is happening with modern antishipping and a changing political climate:

and if by chance an anti has somehow read this far: u were lied to girl. they knew you were a sucker and desperate for online connection or to be part of the "young activist" wave. but you were easy to trick and they filled your head with lies to help them push the christian conservative agenda that women dont deserve autonomy and gay people are depraved freaks who should all die.

"No mistake should be made here: these people are not so much about stopping pedo's, they are about erecting and establishing a hate filled theocratic society by any means necessary. They are all about control. And they are firmly entrenched in the belief that they are "more right" than anyone else"

[xvalstarinex]

Fun fact about me: I'm obsessed with horror/thriller literature and, since I have nothing better to do, I just started Black Sheep by Rachel Harrison. And I feel I need to rant.

PSA: What I'm about to say isn't necessarily about this book in particular, but really every one in it's related genre. I will also say the word "cult" a lot.

What I feel cult horror authors either don't realize or forget is that you aren't going to walk into something and immediately recognize it's a cult. And if you do, that's a shit cult and it should disband.

They draw naive/hurt/scared people in, isolate them completely from society, and psychologically/emotionally manipulate so the leader(s) can have total dominance/control.

They aren't going to do this right as you walk through the door, with an escape just behind you.

No, they'll lure with perfect smiles, kind words, seat you at the table and make you feel like you *finally* found a place where you belong.

You won't know that you're in any danger until you're helping remove fetuses from fully conscious women (Charles Manson reference).

And if you're someone who knew they were apart of a cult and left, there's little to no chance in hell that you'd willingly return, especially not on a whim.

So, dear cult horror authors, please make the situations you put your characters in more realistic. I understand that you want your story to be unique, but realistic is compelling because iT ACTUALLY HAPPENS AND IS THEREFORE SCARY. And if you want your character to return to their abusive cult family, make it so they *have* to instead of just randomly feel like it.

That being said, Black Sheep has been pretty good so far, very funny, somewhat relatable. I would recommend it to anyone who is first getting into the horror genre.

Thanks for reading my rant ❤️

[coochiequeens]

PSA: MEN DO NOT HAVE A CERVIX. You’re welcome.” - Aimee Terese

The Canadian Cancer Society is drawing criticism once again for maintaining a recommendation that men who claim to identify as women should undergo pap smears as part of a cervical cancer screening process.

On a webpage titled “As a trans woman, do I need to get screened for cervical cancer?” Canada’s largest national cancer charity provides advice for males who identify as transgender curious about receiving a cervical cancer screening.

According to the Mayo Clinic, cervical cancer is a type of cancer that occurs in the cells of the cervix. Various strains of the human papillomavirus, a sexually transmitted infection, play a role in causing most cervical cancer. Cervical cancer is detected through semi-regular screenings called Pap smears, in which a small brush is used to gently remove cells from the surface of the cervix so they can be tested.

But the Canadian Cancer Society has been providing guidance to males who identify as women on the female-specific cancer. 

“If you’re a trans woman, you may not have given much thought to Pap tests and cervical cancer. And if you haven’t, that makes a fair amount of sense. After all, in order to get cervical cancer, you need to have a cervix — that is, the organ that connects the vagina to the uterus,” the Cancer Society’s official website reads. It goes on to state that “trans women” who have “had bottom surgery to create a vagina and possibly a cervix” should talk to a medical professional to “figure out specific cancer-screening needs.”

A member of the Reduxx team contacted the Canadian Cancer Society posing as a trans-identified male seeking cervical cancer screening information and was provided the same guidance as was on the website. The operator with the Canadian Cancer Society also provided information on gender affirming care, and spent over 30 minutes attempting to provide helpful information on cervical cancer.

The Canadian Cancer Society’s guidance stands in stark contrast to that from the United Kingdom, whose National Health Service clearly states that that males have no cervix, and thus have no need to have a cervical cancer screening.

“If you’re a trans woman or non-binary person assigned male at birth, you do not need cervical screening as you do not have a cervix,” the NHS website states. The guidance was affirmed by Cancer Research UK, the country’s national cancer charity and world’s largest, which stated that “trans women do not have a cervix, so don’t need to consider taking part in cervical screening.”

Cancer Research UK goes on to dispel the Canadian Cancer Society’s reference to cervical cancer impacting a fabricated cervix, stating that “this is made of a different type of cells to the cervix in a cisgender woman.”

The “neo-cervix” created during a vaginoplasty is most often comprised of tissue from the bladder, rectum, and/or penis. The structure of the cavity itself can also be formed from buccal fat tissue from the mouth, or skin grafted from other areas of the body.

The Canadian Cancer Society’s guidance has started making the rounds on Twitter, where it is receiving ridicule from netizens.

Podcaster Aimee Terese first uploaded screenshots from the Canadian Cancer Society’s website on March 13, adding to her thread: “PSA: MEN DO NOT HAVE A CERVIX. You’re welcome.”

The information quickly began to make the rounds, drawing outrage from women concerned about their erasure in medicine.

“Are they looking up these men’s arseholes then?! Ffs, this is appalling. Taking up potentially life-saving appts for women to appease the fucking gynophiles! Sick to death of what seems like the entire world bending over backwards for pathetic men,” user @sarforalltosee wrote in response to a screenshot posted by popular UK-based commentator @ripx4nutmeg.

Some women have even stated they will be cancelling their donations to the Canadian Cancer Society, with one user referencing her own experience with cervical cancer.

“I was livid when I read that garbage,” one Canadian woman who survived cervical cancer wrote, posting a screenshot of the Canadian Cancer Society’s mobile webpage.

The medical establishment has been increasingly impacted by gender identity politics in recent years. 

Last April, Reduxx revealed in an exclusive how students studying midwifery at Edinburgh Napier University were taught that biological males could get pregnant and give birth through their penis before instructors hastily edited a workbook they were given.

The idea that men who identify as women may be able to give birth has resulted in medical papers and research on the topic of uterus and womb transplants. In 2021, the academic journal Bioethics published a paper by an obstetrician-gynecologist and clinician scientist at McGill University which argued that trans-identifying men are entitled to womb transplants as a basic human right.

“There isn’t an ethical reason why they should be denied access to the procedure,” said Dr. Jacques Balayla. 

“A woman who is born without a uterus and a man who transitions into a woman because of gender dysphoria have a similar claim to maternity if we consider them to have equivalent rights to fulfill the reproductive potential of their gender,” Balayla said. “And I think that we should.”

Last year, a surgeon in India announced that he is developing a surgical plan to implant a womb in a biological male who identifies as transgender. “Every transgender woman wants to be as female as possible, and that includes being a mother,” said Dr. Kaushik said.

Most recently, a video of a trans-identifying male proposing “live donors” be used for uterine transplants sparked outrage on social media. 

Alicyn Cathleen Simpson, employed at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center (UPMC) Children’s Hospital, explained that his proposal for live uterine donations would involve a person who was “assigned female at birth” but identified as a “transgender man,” and therefore, in theory, would willingly offer up their uterus to a male person who identified as a “woman.”

In contrast, women have frequently been referred to by their body parts in a practice that critics have rejected. In 2016, the US-based LGBTQ+ organization the Human Rights Campaign released a guidance which referred to female anatomy as a “front hole,” a term that is also used in transgender pornography.

In 2021, medical journal The Lancet was accused of sexism and dehumanising women after its editors used the term “bodies with vaginas” to refer to women on the front page of their publication. 

The following year, a German federal government agencyand biomedical research institute called women “people with short urethras” whose primary sex organs are the “front hole” or “pussy.”

A survey of 182 men who identify as women found that 90% of respondents believed that having “a transplanted, functioning vagina would improve their sexual experience” and 99% believed that “a uterus transplant would lead to greater happiness.”

By Natasha Biase

Natasha is a Toronto-based commentator and video creator for Reduxx. Her passions include her pug Pepe, fighting the culture wars, and preserving female sports and spaces.

considering recent events maybe the board of directors of the Canadian Cancer Society are just afraid of getting their cars smashed up.

[silvernyxchariot]

"Amino sucks." Ouh~ I do love a good rant, so I shall add to the pool of Amino rants here on Tumblr. Now, say it with your whole chest, if you're going to make a statement, say it correctly.

No, Amino App is absolute trash.

Synopsis: Tumblr and Ao3 are superior options for your niché interests. Don't bother using Amino Apps if you value creative freedom, dislike censorship, or glitchy apps that eat up your battery life.

I originally joined in 2018-2019 and to my understanding, it was a place to express your love for a specific topic. In my case, I loved One Piece and Naruto. People could post their art, fanfics, and role play with their OCs. But whatever creative liberties Amino veterans had pre-2020 are long gone.

The communities go from one extreme to the next, within the same community might I add. Ex. There are Amino communities that talk about serial killers/murder but within the same breath you get the 20 y/o adult toddlers crying about the word "thot" being too obscene! 😱 And you can bet your ass, there are glitches, bugs, and porn bots. Overall, idiocracy on Amino is equivalent to Twitter/X but not as graphic as 2chan, the defunct Japanese worser version of 4chan. Some examples of the shit that goes on in Amino include but are not limited to:

A classical painting of Lucifer being reported as pornographic, subsequently silencing/banning the post author (not my story)

Drawing of t-shirts with the words "f*ck" or "tits" on characters, fully clothed btw, and no ahegao in sight being silenced/hidden (my story)

But community staff is A-OK with featuring, for ALL to SEE, women in thin bikinis who are one sneeze away from having their tits pop out

Grooming. Adults grooming children in DMs

Porn bots, although I've seen this as less of a problem if staff is sensible enough to lock/close the community

Community staff being wholy hypocritical. I say the word "thot" in a public chat and get some curator complaining, "That's a no-no word. 🥺We have to protect the children." But I come back to the SAME public chat, and for about an hour and a half, they were talking about laundering money, murder, and department store theft. With not a single staff member in sight. Royally, Fuck Off. (Def my story)

Team Amino won't do a single fucking thing when you file a report to them for anything; for inactive Agent leaders, staff's abuse of power, reporting groomers, etc.

TA's reporting bots are 100% stupid. My Zoro drawing got hidden because it was considered "pornographic." He was in his Santō Ryu pose with his swords while wearing the equivalent of swim shorts and a bandana. Like, "BITCH. This basically his normal attire." (Def my story)

Hotel Hazbin has a minimum age requirement of 16. It's for a mature audience, yeah? The first PSA I see when I get into the Amino is "No 18+ content allowed. To protect the ✨️children✨️😇." MAYBE DON'T ALLOW CHILDREN BELOW THE AGE OF 16 ONTO AN AMINO WITH MATURE SUBJECTS such as prostitution, drug abuse, murder, and alcoholism.¹

I'm only on Amino now to support a friend because he still posts there, but even he's been holding back on drawing his OCs in cool outfits and getting fed up with TA's bullshit and community staffs' hypocrisy. MediaLab, the company that bought Amino App from its original creators, is basically making Amino into a toddlers' app, but not actively doing anything to manage it or make it better.

Voice Chats: degenerate, depraved, toxic. Never experienced it myself, but glad I didn't based on the shit I've heard from others.

Aside from the thirteen to twenty three year olds, there are also the grown 30+ year old "adults" throwing tantrums. I saw one woman complain/rant about how horrible men are and how she was getting a divorce to a chat filled with SIXTEEN (16) year olds. It was just wholy unnecessary to trauma dump on these guys. They're here to roleplay and talk about anime. 💀

¹ Staff can ASK people to add their age/birthday in their "Request to join" message, and if the little shits are lying, that's their fault for causing drama or getting offended in a 16+ Amino. Just ban them and their alt accounts. I left as soon as I read that PSA, I'm not dealing with MORE hypocrisy.

To be clear, I'm not asking for "2 girls, 1 cup" videos (an old porno with scat & golden showers), but at least a sensible audience that can handle mature topics. More than "He died of drug overdose 👍" but less than a detailed description of genitals being mutilated by barbed wire, which is actually referenced in epi.1 of HH.

Profanity and cursing are a part of my issue with Amino communities, but slang doesn't necessarily make people equivalent to adults.

* May update this more when I have the time. ♡✧( ु•⌄• ) I also have receipts (screenshots) of 1 or 2 of the things I listed if you need ✨️evidence.✨️

[god-whispers]

mar 22

living in expectancy

"now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near." luke 21:1

i almost have a crick in my neck from looking up these days.  expectancy fills my spirit and desire for my Lord is nearing a crescendo.  who am i to have been chosen to live in these times?

i was born in 1947.  as the nation of israel was struggling to be born, i too was in my mother's womb, struggling to be born.  it seems both our times had come, both of us for a determined purpose God had preordained; mine assuredly not as great a one as theirs, but for a purpose nonetheless.  we all were born with a purpose in mind.  "for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." eph 2:10

me and this whole generation were destined for this time.  i see great leaders, teachers and laymen alike, all embracing what God has put in their hearts to do.  doing it, perhaps not even knowing how or why they feel the need to.  they may never be great in people's eyes or noteworthy in a written book or even a daily newspaper one quickly tosses aside, but doing things noteworthy to God (even as men and women were mentioned only once in the bible and then never again.)

now this generation is struggling as a new dispensation of time is nearing.  struggling for the birthing of the sons of God to be manifested.  not just those of this generation but all previous generations as well.  all of them have contributed to what we are today and they too are expectantly waiting.  "God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us." heb 11:40  increased knowledge and revelation alone has designated us to never taste of death but the inheritance belongs to them as well.

i'm definitely not a scholar, well trained in the scriptures but i concur rev. 12:5 is a rapture verse.  "and she brought forth a manchild, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron; and her child was caught up unto God and to His throne." kjv  the word manchild indicates maturity and strength.  some see this as symbolic of mary and Jesus being the one caught up.  others see it as the church birthing the sons of God which are caught up.  let me remind everyone, Jesus said we would rule and rein with Him.

so as the church struggles in it's birthing, God catches us up even as satan as his hoard are thrown down to the earth to wreck the havoc of the tribulation to the jewish people and the foolish virgins who were not prepared.  "to those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation." heb 9:28  these are profound times we are living in, not to be taken lightly.

there are several scriptures that speak to my spirit of a pre-trib rapture, but another one in particular always comes to mind.  the angels who came to destroy sodom said to lot.  "hurry, escape there.  for i cannot do anything until you arrive there." gen 19:22  destruction had to wait until lot and his family arrived at their destination.  many preach we will be kept safe "through" the tribulation.  me?  i think it's an idea time for the wedding feast to take place.

one might question whether the tribulation is really that close.  "for that righteous man, having dwelt among them seeing and hearing, was vexed in his righteous soul day after day with their unlawful deeds." 2 pet 2:8 kjv  my soul is vexed everyday as lot's was.  i try to keep up with the news as i feel it is important not to bury one's head in the sand.  everyday i witness another thing my mind would never have conceived of happening.  everyday i see another poke into the very eye of God.  yes, i see the tribulation edging ever closer.

i believe the ingathering of believers in Jesus Christ could well be this year.  "gather My saints together to Me, those who have made a covenant with Me by sacrifice." psa 50:5  yes, i believed it could have been last year and now i am doubly expectant.  i never had the birthing experience of being a mother.  (i have hopes of some spiritual children.)  i do recognize the intensity of the labor pains means that birthing is near.  all the apprehension, all the strains, struggling and the blood and pain surely to follow: these are the birthing pains of an expectant church as well.

"and the Spirit and the bride say, 'come!'  and let him who hears say, 'come!'  and let him who thirsts come.  whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely." rev 22:17

the other day i planted some seeds inside that i plan to have my friend set out when the weather is warmer.  as i intently watch the seeds sprouting - transforming miraculously back into something they originally came from, i think of us, God's elect, transforming back into that we originally came from - a sinless, perfect creation, able to walk again with our Creator unashamedly.

as spring approaches i keep asking myself:  "will this be the last spring i see?"  likewise, i wonder if i will ever celebrate another birthday.  it has even gotten down to the point of when i brush my teeth in the morning, i find myself wondering whether this will be for the last time.  yes, i am eagerly and expectantly longing for the One who rescues me from my sin and it's effects.

in closing, i just want to remind everyone that i am not a scholar and certainly not infallible.  i don't claim any special divine revelation.  this is just how i see things.  we all have the same Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth but none of us have perfect understanding.  i would have no one believe they don't know enough or haven't done enough.  fear is always knocking at the door.  Jesus alone is enough.  i always go back to my mantra - the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.  the only real question is: "are you satisfied with your pursuit of God?"  never be satisfied.  always want more.  if you're satisfied, that means you're coasting and that's usually always downhill.  maranatha!

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 228

John 1:4

SATAN’S STRUCTURE 35: REVERSE FASHION 6

Rev 16:15 "Listen! I am coming like a thief! HAPPY IS HE WHO STAYS AWAKE AND GUARDS HIS CLOTHES, SO THAT HE WILL NOT WALK AROUND NAKED AND BE ASHAMED IN PUBLIC!" GNB

We have discussed how Passion for the things of this life can make a man “blindly” take off his clothes and become obsessed with getting what he lusts after, even when his efforts are not fruitful.

You should ask: why do we call it Fashion anyways? Is it that these persons are “showing off” their shame and nakedness? Yes beloved!

They don’t see nakedness, but “beauty” in their appearances.

Rev 3:17 BECAUSE YOU SAY, “I AM RICH AND HAVE ACQUIRED GREAT WEALTH, AND NEED NOTHING,” BUT DO NOT REALIZE THAT YOU ARE WRETCHED, PITIFUL, POOR, BLIND, AND NAKED, NET

You may say: “but that is talking about spiritual nakedness”. Well, physical nakedness is part of it, beloved.

Have you seen drunkards boast before; have you seen semi-naked “stars” boast on TV?

Those who go naked – this time spiritually – through passionate labour for the cares of life always boast of their hard work, but never know how to draw the line between slavery and pure diligence.

Pro 22:29 SHOW ME SOMEONE WHO DOES A GOOD JOB, and I will show you someone who is better than most and WORTHY OF THE COMPANY OF KINGS. GNB

You see, the object of focus is to do a Good Job, not to work and kill yourself over making and increasing profits.

Have we easily forgotten: profits and extent of getting it, are left in God’s hands?

1Co 3:7 So the one who plants is not important, and the one who waters is not important. ONLY GOD IS IMPORTANT, BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO MAKES THINGS GROW. ERV

God determines who gets “explosive wealth”, not your efforts.

It has to be part of your “assignment” and destiny, or else you’d slave in life, go naked and push Corn Grinder [like Samson] for Satan.

Pro 23:4-5 GIVE UP TRYING SO HARD TO GET RICH. YOUR MONEY FLIES AWAY BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, just like an eagle suddenly taking off. CEV

Psa 127:1-2 If God’s grace doesn’t help the builders, they will labor in vain to build a house. If God’s mercy doesn’t protect the city, all the sentries will circle it in vain. IT REALLY IS SENSELESS TO WORK SO HARD FROM EARLY MORNING TILL LATE AT NIGHT, TOILING TO MAKE A LIVING FOR FEAR OF NOT HAVING ENOUGH. God can provide for his lovers even while they sleep! TPT

Many boast of sleeping 3 hours a night and working like Faraday.

Some do get it and then gloat over their acquired wealth, but mostly, they have sacrificed their fellowship with God for vanities.

Mat 16:26 For EVEN IF YOU WERE TO GAIN ALL THE WEALTH AND POWER OF THIS WORLD WITH EVERYTHING IT COULD OFFER YOU—AT THE COST OF YOUR OWN LIFE—WHAT GOOD WOULD THAT BE? And what could be more valuable to you than your own soul? TPT

Again, I pray for us all: “we will not dance the naked dance of shame in the “theater” of the Philistines or mockers of Destiny, nor will we be held by their chains, in Jesus name, Amen.

Let’s move on: The 4th way by which Satan causes men to go naked is through PRIDE.

It is simple beloved: you go proud and God “strips” you of all honours and turns your glory to naked shame.

Isa 3:16-17 The LORD says: THE WOMEN OF JERUSALEM ARE PROUD AND STRUT AROUND, WINKING SHAMELESSLY. They wear anklets that jingle and CALL ATTENTION TO THE WAY THEY WALK. BUT I, THE LORD, WILL COVER THEIR HEADS WITH SORES, AND I WILL UNCOVER THEIR PRIVATE PARTS. CEV

When Nebuchadnezzar became proud and God gave him an animal’s heart, do you think he was naked in the forest for the 7-year “sentence”? Yes, of course! He must have been “butt-naked”.

Dan 4:33 Just then the prediction about Nebuchadnezzar came true. He was forced away from people and ATE GRASS LIKE CATTLE. DEW FROM THE SKY MADE HIS BODY WET UNTIL HIS HAIR GREW AS LONG AS EAGLES' FEATHERS AND HIS NAILS GREW AS LONG AS BIRDS' CLAWS. GW

This is how it works: God strips a proud man naked, meaning that he becomes exposed and vulnerable to attack, yet, because he is blinded, he still shows off and gets noticed by his “enemies”.

Then his life becomes subject to all kinds of attacks from circumstances and problems that reduce him to rags, yet his mind is oblivious of the full impact of his demise till he is totally wrecked.

Pro 16:18 YOUR BOAST BECOMES A PROPHECY OF A FUTURE FAILURE. THE HIGHER YOU LIFT UP YOURSELF IN PRIDE, THE HARDER YOU’LL FALL IN DISGRACE. TPT

Have you seen proud persons, who have become poor but still trying hard to show off, borrowing money to still appear rich, till they become stone-broke and die in penury and shame?

As King with an animal’s heart, Nebuchadnezzar had no shame over the nakedness of his body.

Do you commonly see animals [or madmen] struggle to cover his private parts? No! It’s called insanity.

May our lives never be stained with pride enough to make Gods strip us naked, in Jesus name.

Come back on Friday for more digging into this intriguing subtopic.

Keep Shinning!

Brother Prince

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

08055125517; 08023904307

[wizkiddx]

unusable faces

i have exams hence why i needed to write something exceptionally cringe :)

PSA: this is completely inspired from one of my fave writers own blurb @blissfulparker​ --> completely recommend u go read hers its much better than anything i could ever write!!!! (and just her whole account) = link

Summary: pure exhaustion and mutual pining, Tom Holland x actress!reader

^(just thought this was cute, doesn't really fit aha but full credit to op!!)

A scheduling nightmare would be putting it lightly. Perhaps almost unavoidable but that didn’t make it any less of a hellish form a torture. Harry had very helpfully said it actually was a form of torture, that is sleep deprivation. Y/n loved her job - it was all she’d ever really wanted - yet that thought was quickly becoming not enough to get her through the day. Not when it felt like an interrogation tactic used by the CIA. 

To give a quick timeline of the past few days may give a little context:

Thursday - filming the fight scene all day plus an evening-turned-half-the-night-shoot due to some technically difficulties delaying the process.

Friday - flying to New York while doing read throughs of scenes for the next few days; followed immediately by getting glammed and filming the tonight show with Fallon; then a dash across town to the late late show with James Corden; then straight back on a flight to Atlanta that landed at stupid o’clock in the morning

Saturday - a full day of shooting in a mock grand central station set

The press trip to NY had been unplanned… to say the least. But the star of their studios other new release had taken ill - meaning they had slots booked on some of the biggest talk shows in America that would just be abandoned (angering the shows bookers too). It was a waste of perfectly good promo time and since the studio had their two other stars together doing a block of reshoots - it wasn’t a conversation. Much more a call demanding the two of them to be on the plane.

Normally this wouldn’t be such an unmanageable ask either, except the reshoot block was really rather time pressured. You see, the promo tour wasn’t far from beginning meaning they really needed the final film in the can. So really it was a bit of a mess. Just to free up that single day the two were in New York the whole schedule had had to be rejigged - in doing so they’d lost a rare day off too. It was just typical.  

The joys of success hey?

Well, that’s at least what Y/n was making herself think whilst her incredibly talented SFX artist was in the process of crafting a deep wound onto her upper arm. The reason why she would be ‘dripping with blood’ whilst at a train station was beyond Y/n to be honest - she hadn’t been allowed to read a lot of the script so even now as filming was drawing to a close, the story arc of the movie she was headlining was still a little ‘fuzzy’.

“So I watched your ‘spill your guts’ thing on YouTube” Ellie giggled whilst reaching over for more prosthetic putty- a technical term apparently

“I’m glad one of us enjoyed the experience” Y/n replied with a sigh, rolling her eyes at the mischievous smirk on her face - no doubt Ellie took great joy out of seeing her suffer through eating a thousand year old egg. Which Y/n swore the taste of was still in her mouth… and it seemed as though it’d never leave. 

“Oh don’t worry darling I did too” Nelli called over from the next chair along, where she was doing Tom’s makeup for the day of shoots. “Between that and the animals on Fallon, you made a hell of a lot of people laugh last night” Tom’s artist was referencing the fact one of Jimmys other guests was a zookeeper, so at the end of the interview he had you and Tom join in trying not to scream at the snakes and spiders.

“You mean laugh at us?” 

“Well of course darling!” Nelli exclaimed back in an overdramatic bronx accent making all three of the women burst out laughing, Ellie’s unceremonious snorts echoing through the trailer only egged them all on more.

Tom in response, who had otherwise been absent from conversation for the majority of the morning, exclaimed a curse and jumped up in his chair. While you and Ellie collected yourself, Nelli apologised to him.

“Oh sorry love, I’m interrupting your snooze with my uncontrollable comedic gift” She spoke sweetly, even if still taking the moment to flaunt to the other women, as she squeezed his shoulder compassionately.

“No no” Tom waved off her apology, attempting to rub his eye before Nelli swatted his arm away - a stern look for the risk of ruining all her hard work she’d put into making his face look half presentable. 

“I’m impressed you can sleep while they poke you with all these er instruments” Y/n added in, having only just realised Tom had been in a light sleep for god knows how long they’d been in that chair. It did seem a bit unlikely, being able to fall asleep as you were dabbed, prodded and brushed. 

“Maybe you should try though Y/n… your purple eye bags are proving a struggle even for me” Ellie quipped back, now it was Y/n’s turn to give the stern look. Tom took the explain though, shutting her off from whatever kindly meant insult she was about to throw back at her friend. 

“No normally never, I just….” He was cut off by an ear splitting yawn, appearing almost powerful enough to crack his jaw - which would be a disaster, for no one should ruin such a beautiful and sharp jaw line. “…uh-sorry. I just think I ended up taking my NyQuil and DayQuil the wrong way round in the madness of yesterday.” Only Tom, the poor kid often seemed to lacking in any form of common sense - even if those closest to him knew just how intellectual and passionate he could be about the right topic. Affectionately, Nelli scalded his idiocy by jokingly swatting his head with a little tut.

“I can’t believe your still standing then! I’m barely alive and I don’t have any sedatives in my system.” It was true, Y/n was at that stage where every part of her body felt ridiculously heavy… eyes included … eyes especially. 

“But I did sleep on the jet back while your stupid self was studying the script!” Tom replied with a pretty inarguable point - at the time he knew her actions were stupid;  when their flight took off at 11 PM he was certain that the most valuable asset to his ability to act in the reshoots today would be sleep - rather than character development. And he’d tried to convince Y/n that briefly, but gave up. She was bloody stubborn when she wanted to be. 

“Stop competing about who has it worse cos I think it’s me and Nell”Ellie announced - making Nelli agree empathically with her coworker, nodding her head as she looked first to Y/n in her chair then back at Tom.

“Yeh because we have to deal with your unusable faces!!”

After much sarcasm thrown back and fourth, the trailer slowly ebbed it’s way back into serenity and peace as both artists focused on their work. Once Nelli was done she excused herself, Tom staying in the chair in favour of studying (more like staring blankly) at the dialogue for this mornings scenes. His pretence didn’t last long though and while Ellie was busy adding the final touches of fake blood to the now almost completely believable gash that she’d crafted on Y/n’s arm - Y/n had her attention focused the opposite way.

At poor little Tom. He looked so childlike, his slightly puffy eyes looked as if they had weights tied to them - they way he was having fight against gravity to flutter his eyes open, before loosing the next second only for the process to repeat as they dragged downwards. The broad muscles of his neck occasionally seemed to occasionally let up a little, letting his head tilt slowly at first until it gathered enough momentum to throw him off balance. The then sudden movement of his head unconsciously pulling itself back in line caused his eyes to bolt open prior to the whole cycle repeating again. All Y/n wanted to do was let him lay down someone, her heart feeling a tug in her chest just seeing him like that. 

Ellie proclaimed her completion of the wound, leaning back to admire her work before looking to get an affirming nod from Y/n. Yet instead, she was too preoccupied gazing at the boy slouched across from them. “Someone seems a little distracted.” Ellie smirked, finally garnering Y/n’s attention, only feeling more and more smug watching a light tint appear on the actors cheeks. 

“I-well-no… we need to go.” Y/n ignored her words as though nothing had happened, instead rushing off the chair to get Tom out the chair and onto the awaiting set. They had places to be.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||| (bcos im lazy)

Honestly when the director, Ed, called for lunch break, it was pretty apparent to be purely as a compassionate gesture to Y/n and Tom. Both of them had tried so hard this morning to fully commit, even so they’d both been almost completely useless. Y/n kept missing cues whilst all Tom’s actions and lines where slow, dragged out and at times completely prompted from someone behind the cameras. 

So when the lunch break was called there was only one thing on Y/n’s mind and what sandwich was available in the mess tent was not it. Still standing on the set next to her fake holdall bag she looked toward Tom, who was pulling himself up to standing from the train station bench - the pace of his movement making him look more like an old man. 

“You good?” His answer was predictable. 

“I’m so fucking shattered”

Tom swore he’d never heard anything sweeter come out of Y/n’s pink lips than her next statement.

“C’mon I know somewhere we can lie down.”

Without any sort of thought Tom blindly agreed, nodding as he took her outstretched hand in his. The gesture in itself brought a fresh wave of comfort to his aching limbs and as his feet stumbled to catchup with her slight head start he leant the majority of his weight into their connected hands. 

Neither would admit it but they were ‘a thing’… whatever the hell that meant. It was clear as day to everyone and anyone that worked closely to the two but neither of them had ever broached the topic with each other. They’d worked on a few films together over the years; each time they got closer and closer to the point any job without the other simply wasn’t as good. It was scary though, especially for two actors in the prime of their careers. If they weren’t working the same film they’d likely be the opposite side of the world to each other most of the time - quality time together would be few and far between, Really their jobs didn’t suit dating at all, yet it would be perhaps easier if one half of it worked a ‘normal’ job. Something with consistency, a regular structure. A level of dependability that neither Y/n nor Tom could offer to the other. 

So it was terrifying, acknowledging the growth in their magnetic attraction to each other. Both were acutely aware that doing that, confronting their feelings, would most likely signal the beginning of the end. 

Although none of this stoped Y/n from returning the gesture, tilting her shoulder into Tom’s left side as they took slow steps through and then out the set building. She steered the two past the hair and makeup trailer and round into a store and extra equipment trailer. Tom tilted his head as she climbed the stairs whilst beckoning for him to follow - it didn’t seem like the most obvious choice. Rolling her eyes, Y/n explained.

“It’s where all the blankets and coats and kept for the raining scenes plusssss no one will disturb us in here.” Again Tom was not in a position to disagree, eyes drooping as his shoulders sagged to the floor. Right now he’d take anything. 

So he climbed up the stairs and shut the door behind him, just as Y/n flipped the light on. She was right, it was well equipped and with an almost mountainous supply of red blankets that normally the crew and extra would all be wrapped up in after the freezing rain scenes with all the ‘waterfall machines’ as Y/n called them. However it was also um…. It was cosy. “Oh I don’t think I realised how small it was” She chuckled lightly, since now the door was closed her back was pressed up against the far wall of cabinets and still her front was mere millimetres from Tom.

“I…I don’t mind… if-if you don’t?”

“I’m too tired to care” She giggled in response, and Tom , now with her seal of approval, immediately started ransacking the piled shelves for all their worth creating a floor carpeted in the pale red of the blankets, in an attempt to make it more cosy. Joining in, it was almost remarkable how quickly their bodies suddenly agreed to move, with the new promise of rest mere moments away. 

Once the trailer was fully drowned, Tom kicked off his costume shoes and threw his jacket off - it haphazardly landing by the doorway. Y/n copied him, leaving her stood up whilst he had the advantaged of already settling down on the floor, her standing and looking down at him.

The space between the two opposing shelving units was not close spacious enough for two people to lie down whilst keeping a respectable level of personal space. Suddenly feeling a wave of awkwardness, Y/n stayed standing, wringing her hands slightly - whilst fairly certain Tom could hear her heart running at 100 mph. 

“You er… gonna stay there or?” Tom, contrary to popular belief, wasn’t a complete idiot - he could see she was suddenly self conscious. He got it too - they’d never crossed this boundary of choosing to cuddle into each other. It had happened once of twice accidentally over there 2 years of knowing each other. Both of those times it was completely accidental, falling asleep watching a movie with a safe distance of space b between the two, only to find hours later their bodies almost completely intwined. Tom would be lying if he said that his heart didnt skip a beat when he had awoken to Y/n’s soft and gently breath fanning into his neck. He’d loved it, but understood that was unconsciously breaking down part of the wall they’d both been the constructors of.

For fear of getting hurt. 

So now, as Y/n awkwardly bent down and lay on her side, he thought it was imperative to make her feel comfortable. Naturally then, his arm slid round her shoulders and pulled her down toward his chest, releasing a little breath as he felt her relax, her legs slowly wrapping round one of his. 

“This okay?” He murmured, now into the crown of her head as she lay half on her side half on his chest. In reply she nodded into him and Tom couldn’t help but grin- unbeknownst to him but Y/n was doing the exact same thing. 

The peace lasted all of 3 seconds until she groaned again.

“What?” Tom enquired as she wriggled out his hold and stood up. Instead of replying though she just leant over and flicked the one harsh light bulb off making Tom chuckle as she fumbled her way back onto the padded floor in the darkness, earning a few grunts from both as she accidentally kicked Tom’s thighs or banged her head on one of the now empty shelves. Fumbling her way back into a comfortable position, occasionally cursing when she stubbed her toe- or Tom did when she accidentally elbowed him in the ribs. 

“Comfy?” Tom asked a little sarkily as he squeezed her a little more into his side.

“Mhmmmm… I’m gonna sleep for 100 years”

“Yeh me… me too”

And with that they both almost instantly and in complete unison sagged into each other and the blankets - the pent up stress and tension of the past few days ebbing away.

What the pair had neglected to remember was that sleeping for 100 years wasn’t really an option. The whole crew of 50 people, who wanted to restart filming after 45 minutes, had not been told about Y/n’s little hiding place. The pair were so completely safe in their own little cocoon of comfort they were completely oblivious to their teams calling there names more and more frantically. Completely oblivious to the game of hide and seek the situation had descended into, completely oblivious to Harrys natural annoyance as the director asked him for the whereabouts of the two stars - as though Harry was childminder to the pair of them.

It was Nelli who found them first. She’d and Ellie and Tom’s manager had all been recruited by Harry as part of the man hunt. Both girls, having seen first hand the state of the two this morning, were fairly certain they’d both crashed out somewhere. So Nelli, already with a sneaking suspicion, opened the door gently, her figure blocking the majority of the light from seeping through to the dimly lit inside. The sight she was met with had her actually pouting at the cuteness - and yes its a cringey word but also the only one appropriate.

Between bedding down and barely an hour later the two had managed to become impossibly tighter pressed to each other. Y/n’s face was pressed into the crook of Tom’s neck and his arms seemed to have pulled her on-top of him almost completely. Her left leg was hooked under his right, which was then sandwiched by his left too. They both looked so pure and innocent and god did Nelli know they both needed any extra time they could get.

Nelli cared a lot about Tom, she’d been working with him from the beginning, from the child star days to now. She cared about him like her very annoying surrogate son and she wanted to see him looked after. She also so completely wanted the two stars to stop pining after each other. Because frankly it was getting a little frustrating for everyone else. 

So she chose to tactically forget about her discovery, sneaking a photo on the sly before silently pulling the door closed and leaving them to their sleep. 

[proseandpinotnoir]

ONCE THERE WERE WOLVES by Charlotte McConaghy

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4.3/5🌟🌟🌟🌟

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Once There Were Wolves follows Inti Flynn as she leads a team of biologists on an extremely contentious mission to reintroduce fourteen gray wolves to the Scottish Highlands. There haven’t been wolves in Scotland in hundreds of years and the locals, whose collective livelihood revolves around the well being of their not-eaten-by-wild-animals livestock, prefer it that way. But the land is dying and needs to be rewilded; Inti hopes the wolves will thrive and bring back that which was once lost. A part of her hopes this includes her twin sister, whose voice and spirit vanished after a terrible trauma drove them from Alaska.

⠀

Has anyone read Women Who Run With the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés? It is an incredible, breathing work of literature that delves into the ancient ties between women and wolves; I bring it up now because many of Dr. Estés’ points and thoughts are jarringly apparent in the women of Once There Were Wolves.

⠀

Dr. Estés says, “A healthy woman is much like a wolf: robust, chock-full; strong life-force, life-giving, territorially aware, inventive, loyal, roving.” Women Who Run With the Wolves makes the point that the personalities of women who are “separated from their wildish nature” become “meager, thin, ghostly, spectral,” which we see in Lainey’s and Aggie’s characters in McConaghy’s book.

⠀

Women, like wolves, must be in touch with their wildish nature to thrive. To know your wildish nature doesn’t mean to come undone; it means “to establish territory, to find one’s pack, to be in one’s body with certainty and pride regardless of the body’s gifts and limitations (number 20 in Once There Were Wolves iykyk), to speak and act in one’s behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one’s cycles, to retain as much consciousness as possible.”

⠀

If you’ve read Once There Were Wolves, you know what I mean when I say we SEE this in Inti and wolves like Ash and Number 20. It’s an inspiring, empowering novel about resilience and language as well as female rage and grief. I highly recommend it but, PSA, it’s a tearjerker🥺

[ynscrazylife]

can you do a oneshot where Human B!D is in the hospital for some reason? Her sisters are takin turns staying with her, but she's really bummed about missing game night so all the superfriends come and they have game night in B!D's hospital room?

 Game Night at the DEO 

Summary: The Superfriends and the eldest Danvers’ sisters adjust their game night plans to accommodate Y/N’s hospital visit.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting!

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

DCEU Masterlist | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/mundodeseriess

Ironically, Alex and Kara had been sitting in Kara’s apartment, setting up the games for the game night which was the following weekend, when they got the news. Y/N had worked late that day for her job at the DOE and was sent on a last minute mission which was supposed to be simple and harmless right before she wrapped up for the night. Unfortunately, it was a trap. Some evil guys had wanted to lure out a superhero and when they did, they attacked Y/N. She just about managed to escape, but J’onn had to inform the older Danvers’ sisters that their younger sister was now in the DEO built-in hospital.

It was safe to say that the women did not take the news well. They dropped everything they were doing and Kara flew them to the DEO. Within minutes, the superhero and the agent had burst into the medical ward, frantic and yelling to anyone and everyone around about their sister and her condition. 

Luckily, J’onn had been sitting in the waiting room, also anxious for news since Y/N was like a daughter to him, but he managed to be a bit calmer than Alex and Kara. He rose from his seat and just locking eyes with the alien managed to calm the sisters down. In quick strides, they were standing in front of J’onn, eyes wide, wanting - needing - to hear what happened and some good news. 

 “The doctors are still doing tests to see the extent of her injuries, but she’s going to be okay,” was the first thing he said. 

Both Danvers’ let out breaths of relief and they slumped in the chairs across from J’onn, who sat back down as well. After a couple minutes of the trio just observing each other and their surroundings, Alex plucked up the courage to ask what she and Kara had been wondering ever since the phone call. 

“What did they do to her?” 

J’onn shifted his gaze to his lap. After a beat, he answered. “After she arrived at the scene, she stopped answering her comms since she was fighting. When she ran in the opposite direction of them, though, we checked in. All she said was ‘ambush’ and ‘too many’ before she stopped replying, so a team went out to her last known location . . . They found her unconscious-” he gave Alex and Kara a moment to process this. “-and two of the guys had ran after her. Our agents found them and interrogated them, and they admitted that they had faked a fight on the streets to draw a superhero out since they claimed they despised superheroes. They wanted to bring all superheroes down, but they didn’t except for Y/N to escape. They beat her up and hurt her real badly.”

The three fell into silence. The information was overwhelming, impossible to swallow. Both women were filled with great concern but also unbeatable rage, their minds conjuring up images of Y/N fighting and then running. It broke them.

They only snapped out of their thoughts when the doctor emerged, and her face was unreadable, lips drawn into a tight line, holding a slim paper in her hands. “Agent Danvers will heal,” she announced, and then glanced down at her paper. “She’s greatly bruised, cut-up, and has a minor concussion - she suffered no major injuries, though. We’ll have her stay overnight and then we’ll see when she can be discharged tomorrow.” 

The three nodded and scrambled to her feet. “Can we see her?” Kara asked, her voice sounding strained. The doctor nodded. 

Alex and Kara went in first to find their younger sister laying bandaged-up on the bed, but giving them a small smile. Immediately, the brunette and blonde rushed over to her, asking her if she was okay and how she was feeling. 

Y/N just sunk further into her pillows and took her sister’s hands, quieting. “I won’t lie, I’m not feeling great, but I’m okay - just really tired,” she admitted. 

They nodded and didn’t press her any further, allowing her to sleep.

---------------------------------

The next morning and Y/N was eager to get out of there. She didn’t stop talking about the game night which was going to be that night and how she really wanted to catch up with everyone and play. Alex and Kara couldn’t blame her and hoped that she could get discharged, too, but were still a little concerned. 

They were her sisters, how could they not be?

Nonetheless, the doctor came in and instructed Y/N to stand up and walk around and see how she felt. Alex and Kara sat in their chairs, eyes darting back-and-forth between each other and Y/N, who nodded, easing herself out of bed.

She stood up and smiled — everyone else smiled, too — and prepared herself to take a walk around. However, after she took her first couple of steps, that was when her dizziness hit. “Woah,” she mumbled, putting a hand to her head and stumbling back.

Kara, who was closest, leaped out of her chair and steadied Y/N, gently pushing her back on the bed. The doctor frowned and checked her papers. “Dizziness isn’t good, what are you feeling?” She asked.

Y/N thought for a moment, scrunching her face up. “I think-I think those guys yesterday night . . . Now I remember, I think they blasted me with uh, this device that I’ve seen before. It weakens you. Drains you,” she said.

The doctor muttered under her breath, made a note on her paper, informed her that she’d have to stay at least one more day, and then left.

As soon as she did, Y/N explained that it must have been one of the DEO’s devices to her sisters (who knows how they got their hands on it), but pouted, unhappy that she wasn’t discharged.

Alex and Kara soon recognized this and had a silent conversation, resulting in Alex staying with Y/N while Kara made up a fake excuse to go out into the waiting room and make some arrangements.

She called the superfriends — Lena, Winn, J’onn, James, Brainy, and Nina — and told them that game night was still on, but held at a different location this time.

Everyone “RSVP’d” and at 7:00, they all showed up with Y/N’s favorite: PIZZAAA!

To say she was surprised to see everyone walk through the room’s door was an understatement. Her jaw dropped (especially when she saw the pizza) and she grinned, beyond overjoyed to see everyone. She didn’t care that she was injured, and gave them all hugs anyway (well, half-hugs, since she was laying down).

Everyone asked her how she was and she just responded with, “Better now that you’re here.”

Alex and Lena opened the pizza and got everyone slices while Kara got drinks. They ate pizza and turned on the med’s room T.V, which was filled with the basic channels but the superfriends did dramatized commentary to make Y/N laugh, and she did.

Afterwards, the games began!

Everyone split into teams, and everyone wanted Y/N on theirs. She ultimately went with Nia, and the teams were: Y/N and Nia, James and Winn, J’onn and Alex, and Lena and Kara.

First up was Pictionary! Y/N and Nia dominated everyone else. Then, they went into an exciting couple of rounds of Monopoly (which lasted forever), and Lena and Kara came out on top. To close out the night, they finished up with Never Have I Ever (lots of things got revealed there).

All in all, staying at medical wasn’t so bad. The bed’s mattress wasn’t horrible and Y/N got to have game night like she wanted to! She was never more thankful than that moment to have the amazing sisters and friends that she did.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @kathryndimitrescu @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos

DCEU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @basiclesbianbitch @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @acertainredhead

[noa-nightingale]

Queer Watcher 2020

I am looking back on this weird, not-so-wonderful year - and on the ways @wearewatcher made my 2020 so much more wonderful. Originally, I wanted to list all the highlights I could think of, but one of the things I am most grateful for is Watcher’s inclusion and support of LGBTQ+ folks. I am just one queer person but I know there are many more in this fandom.

So, this ended up being a list of things I, as a queer person, appreciate and enjoy, and I am so so happy that I can write this. Buckle up, I have Things to say, and it is going to be emotional.

Ryan’s Pride shoes. I sometimes wonder how many sales Converse owes him. I love my own pair btw.

“Look, all I’m sayin’ is, y’know, hey, uh, love everybody.” - Shane Madej, Gangly Puppet Freak. A PSA from the Weird/Wonderful Shakespeare Theatre vid, regarding bisexuality - he is so awkward with it lmao. Whole video has really great vibes too.

Steve/Stephanos.

Various tweets, including wishing us a happy Non-Binary People’s Day and a happy Trans Awareness week.

Ryan and Shane including their pronouns in their twitter bio. (Little things like this don’t go unnoticed, and they are very appreciated.)

Gay Oars! Ugh, my heart. Their first appearance totally caught me off guard, and I haven’t recovered since. (I also causes me no small amount of joy that the most romantic and tragic song of all time is called “Gore on the Shore”.) I could yell about my love for these guys all day. It is a beautiful thing that these characters exist.

Gay Oars, again - I knew they would show up and I still was not prepared. The song made me cry. I haven’t recovered from that one either. I love the progression from the first, tragic song to the second, joyful and loving song. I have so many emotions about these oars, I probably could make an entire list just for them. (Little fun fact: Even though the song made me cry, my first reaction to that episode was to go on tumblr and yell about it excitedly. Like, I was emotional but in an enthusiastic kind of way. The more difficult emotions hit me about four days later, for some reason. And then I sat in my room and cried my eyes out. Like, as much as I like being queer, sometimes it is just damn hard and the pain seems too much and you have been hurt over and over and don’t know if you can ever recover from it. And it is just really good to know that someone cares about your wellbeing as a queer person. Even if you have never spoken to that someone and he does not even know of your existence. And to be honest, I don’t always know how to deal with that. The kindness? The genuine allyship? I have no idea how to handle that, and it simultaneously heals and breaks my heart.)

Every time the words “his boyfriend” were uttered; I am especially thinking of Are You Scared here.

All the fan art Watcher inspired and continues to encourage and to support. There are many great artists in the fandom! And Watcher’s content inspires me to draw and create more myself! How wonderful!

Toxic masculinity who? It is nowhere to be found.

This... special kind of gentle and kind weirdness? It honestly had such a positive impact on me and the way I interact with other people and let them interact with me.

All of the wonderful people Watcher brought in. I am sure they will work with more amazing folks and I am really looking forward to that. Personally, I am hoping to see Eugene Lee Yang at some point. (Would be really happy to see Thomas Sanders too.)

Here’s What You Do. Just the whole podcast. It was such a delight.

I was hesitant to include this because I believe many of us have negative memories attached to it, and it was not a fun time for anyone (including the lovely people at Watcher themselves). But, yes, I am mentioning it: That one HWYD episode and the follow-up. I can only speak for myself, but the follow-up has an incredibly special place in my heart. To me, it is one of the most important videos Watcher has created. I watched it several times, I journaled about it extensively and it made me a better ally. Hell, I even showed it to my mother and one of my siblings (like, the entire video). I know it was a difficult thing to talk about but at this point: A HUGE thank you to Steven, Ryan, Katie and Shane for handling this in an absolutely fantastic way. I feel welcome and seen and appreciated, and in the end all I want is this: For people to genuinely give a shit about me as a queer person.

On a more lighthearted note, I enjoy it way too much that Ryan is able to say “LGBTQ” without stumbling over the letters. It seems like such a tiny thing but it brings me an unholy amount of joy.

The Professor. I don’t want to call him LGBTQ+ because that has not been confirmed as canon but he IS comfortable wearing clothes that are typically seen as “women’s clothing”, and as a trans/non-binary person I am kind of obligated to mention it.

I think I had an out of body experience when Ryan said “Oh thank you baby” to Steven in Too Many Spirits. Then I had to pause the episode to finish laughing. And then they brought it back in the next episode. Bless them.

Every time they/them pronouns were said.

The entire Hatshepsut PH episode. What can I say, I like it when gender norms/expectations/roles are broken. And even if we can’t call Hatshepsut trans by today’s standards, declaring yourself another gender has such power.

Without giving too many details: I had my struggles and problems in the past with Christianity and ~certain~ Christian people, and it is really good (and I mean REALLY good) to see someone whose faith and integrity are so interwoven and who is inspired by his faith to do good things and to do right by people. I obviously only know the things about his belief that Steven decides to put on the internet but what I’ve seen is almost healing to me, in a way. I am very grateful and happy that he is willing to educate others and to keep working on himself. Warms my heart.

The certainty with which these beautiful people call themselves allies.

Just... the general kindness and compassion, and the willingness to listen and to grow. I promise you, we notice and we love you for it.

I could have expanded on all of these points but I tried to keep this short.

And look. I don’t want to put anyone on a pedestal; that would not be fair. I am just immensely grateful for kind people who genuinely care and who genuinely try to do right by others and to bring joy to others.

And I know we like to have fun here but Watcher’s content is just a lot more than entertaining, meme-able fun (although it is that too, of course).

I had a blast with it this year and I am very much looking forward to the next year. I feel like I can’t adequately put into words the myriad of little (and not so little) ways these people have made my life better this year. Thank you from the bottom of my aroace, non-binary heart.

[glittercracker]

Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor. 

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage? 

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

[vonnyphant]

To Blog or Not to Blog?

“You should start a diary and write about your experiences. It may help people going through the same thing.”

Honestly? If there’s one thing I discovered about this diagnosis, it’s that it makes me pretty damn selfish. I don’t want to help other people (not just yet, anyway). But putting some thoughts down about this time in my life may be of some sort of therapeutic value, and I do want to help myself. 

(Maybe for once, saving the world can wait. Do you remember how, soon after the pandemic hit, people stopped avoiding plastic and single-use items? When your health is at risk, suddenly rainforests and polar bears and the planet are deprioritised- not that anyone will admit to this. But this is my diary and I can say what I want!* Writing for myself it is.)

Having established my less-than-Mother-Theresa-like reasons for this blog, my conscience cleared, it’s time to start. This is where the Lifetime movie shows me, in a half daze, mellowed out on drugs while they sew a mediport into my chest to start administering chemicals. A fast lane to my bloodstream. A docking station. The soundtrack? Hopefully ‘Across The Universe’ by the Beatles (possibly Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. If I get a say in it, I veto The Walrus) Time to pump this body full of drugs that’ll make my hair fall out. 

Wait, what?

Voice Over: “Yep. That’s me. You’re probably wondering what I am doing here…” //record scratch - freeze frame - fast rewind to the psychedelic outtro of A Day In The Life//

Two months ago, during rub-a-dub-in-the-tub (less naughty than it sounds, was just washing myself), my mind inexplicably went to an episode of Beverly Hills 90210, s1 (aired in 1992- yes, I am that old), where Brenda Walsh has a breast cancer scare. I say inexplicably, because my usual shower fantasies do not include Ms Shannon Doherty - if I was going to pick a shower lady, I’d opt for Charlize Theron, Kiera Knightly or Winona Ryder in their short-hair phases, but that is neither here nor there. 

Say what you want for 90s television- weird outfits and ponytails notwithstanding, in their AfterSchoolSpecial PSA way, they dedicated a whole scene to the girls giving themselves a breast exam, including how-to instructions**, and eventhough I was only 11 years old when I saw it, I remembered what to do, and for the last 30 years, every now and then I have randomly carried it out while wondering how I always preferred Brandon over Dylan and how my tastes have changed over time.

But this time - my hand actually found something.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself down the same way I did after finding spots on my skin, lumps on my head and every time I sneezed since covid-19; by telling myself to fucking snap out of my hypochondria tendencies. One cannot go to the doctor every damn day after all. Breast tissue is pretty lumpy and I assumed it was just imaginary. I made an appointment to see a therapist, and  put it out of my mind until a few weeks later, when one of the kids came crashing down on me (literally) and faceplanted in my boob (as they do). 

Now this always hurts af, but it just hurt that little more that day, so that I grabbed the appendage in question and went “WHAT THE--!” And I felt it again- the lump, more defined than a few weeks before. 

Cue a lot more freaking out than the first time, and after a sleepless night, imagining what my funeral would look like (as one does), I decided to go to the gynocologist the same day or risk never to sleep again.

After a long wait and an ultrasound, my doctor assured me that while there really was a mass, it had every indication of being benign. We should keep an eye on it. If I was worried, I could schedule a second screening, but would not likely get an appointment before April. I scheduled one and tried to focus on preparing our first lockdown Christmas. 

But over the holidays, the lump started hurting, even when I wasn’t poking it or having a kid catapult themselves into my chest. I’d be Netflix and Chilling, and suddenly - ZAP - like someone stuck a hot needle into it. Repeatedly. My nipple would go numb or start tingling like a bodypart that fell asleep. It freaked me out, and in the new year, I realised I couldn’t wait until April - I had to get it checked out again or I may worry myself to death.

My gynocologist did another ultrasound and again, told me not to worry. I told her it was way too late for that as I had been worried for weeks, and I wanted the thing biopsied (they gave Brenda Walsh one too, after all! It’s the only way to be 100% sure). She referred me to the hospital. At the description of my symptoms, I could come directly, and the radiologist told me in no unclear terms: “I will not let you leave this room until we draw blood and take several biopsies.” Okay- not exactly what one wants to hear at that point, but at the same time, I figured knowing would be better than guessing by the shape of it.

Test results took a week. I went in, being prepared to be told (like Brenda) it was a harmless clump of random cells or a cyst we could have removed like a wart. Only it wasn’t. It was breast cancer, an aggressive, fast-growing kind, and had I waited until April, that could have had disastrous consequences.

While the doctor explained we now needed to determine the scope of the spread and take more tissue to determine what kind of chemo (if any) could be applied, all my 2020-PTSD brain could think was: 

“.............of course”. 

Didn’t hear much of what she said afterwards.

Another harrowing 4 days went by, with a CT screening with contrast solutions that gave me an intense stomach ache as well as a migraine, and finally, a fully rounded diagnosis and treatment advice could be made. 

Thankfully, all my organs as well as lymphnodes were clear, so it appears to be a localised tumor. And here we are - to fight this thing with chemicals and then cut out whatever is left. Genetics testing to see about the likelihood of a recurrency (and a possible double mastectomy if so - ‘pulling an Angelina Jolie’, ‘not saving the tatas’, insert ‘Think About It meme’...can’t have breast cancer if you don’t have breasts! THINK ABOUT IT***). 

Chances are good. I need to cling to that while I wait for this port and treatment to start. I have accepted the inevitable hair loss, have scheduled a ritual ‘crazy hair cutting party’ with my kids for this weekend (as I would rather shave it off in one go than clean up clumps and strands over the course of weeks and look like Gollum), and I have sewn several funny little hats for inside wear and ‘going out’ (though where will I be going in pandemic, idk). 

I was going to end this post on a light and happy note - but I must admit my confidence just took a really big hit in real time, as I googled how to spell Shannon’s last name for this blog entry and found out that she was treated for breast cancer in 2015, initially succesfully, but it reappeared metastasized in 2020 (again: ‘of course...when else’) and she is now in stage IV. Fuck 2020.

What are the odds that the woman whose character made me discover my own breast cancer is now, in fact, dying of the same disease? This will surely haunt me for a long time to come.

More tomorrow? Or soon? It may take a while. Until then: outro to It’s Getting Better.

*also for the record I would like to state that I’ve sewn my own masks from upcycled pillowcases and continued using fruit- and vegetable nets to avoid plastic; maybe that makes up for me being utterly selfish at the moment. Karma +1?

** https://youtu.be/pkgYXITkrfw (the scene from BH 90210)

***cis men / trans women without breasts can also get breast cancer (even though it’s rare) so this meme doesn’t really hold up, but that’s the whole point of the meme ;)

[zrtranscripts]

Radio Abel, Season Eight

Part 5 of 5

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I don't know if it's just because New Canton's at the center of the government in the UK -

ZOE CRICK: I'm still getting used to that.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: - but now that I think about it, people do seem to be putting more effort into the way they dress these days.

ZOE CRICK: I've noticed that. For a while, I thought it was because people wanted to spruce themselves up for the royal visits, but King Jamie hasn't been visiting as much since Amelia left for... for whatever it is she's doing, and people are still looking rather flamboyant.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: One of the cooks makes his own hats out of food wrappers.

ZOE CRICK: Exactly. People are having fun, and they're less worried about looking cool than they were before the apocalypse.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I think those hats are cool!

ZOE CRICK: That's the point. Taste is much more subjective now. [laughs] We don't have TV or newspapers, and it still takes half an hour to send a picture over ROFFLEnet, so it's harder to follow trends. People are using their imaginations instead.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Speaking of imagination, here's a track by someone with lots of it.

~

ZOE CRICK: Maybe Z-Day’s made self-expression more important, not less. We can't control the V-types, and we might be confined to our settlements most of the time, but we can decide how we look, so people go to great lengths to execute their vision. It's like how women in pre-apocalyptic prisons used to improvise cosmetics out of Smarties and shoe polish.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: How do you know what women used to do in prison?

ZOE CRICK: Oh, I was talking to Maxine about it.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Dr. Maxine has been to prison?!

ZOE CRICK: No, she... [sighs] That's not the point. I'm saying that for a lot of people, clothes, hair, and makeup are important creative outlets now that we're restricted in other ways. They also help people feel normal, now that -

PHIL CHEESEMAN: - now that V-types are roaming across the UK.

ZOE CRICK: Exactly.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [sighs] Here's a song to make us all feel a bit more normal.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Imagine if Vogue was still in print. Do you think they'd employ zombie models?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, with headlines like, “Gray is the New Black.” [laughs] They might struggle to find advertisers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Okay, business side might be a bit tricky to sort out. What about the editorial?

ZOE CRICK: They'd have post-apocalyptic fashion tips.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “The Best Looks to Scavenge this Season.”

ZOE CRICK: “Make Your Own Makeup.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “10 Ways to Wear a Sports Bra.”

ZOE CRICK: Not sure about that one, Phil.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Okay, yeah, there’s probably just one way to wear a sports bra.

ZOE CRICK: As far as I know.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: The other ideas were good, though. Well, maybe we should think of other style tips for our listeners.

ZOE CRICK: Why not? [laughs] Here's a song to get our creative juices flowing.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, Zoe and I tried to come up with fashion tips, but this isn't our area of expertise.

ZOE CRICK: Speak for yourself.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: All your ideas involve drawing cats on things.

ZOE CRICK: That's not true. I also suggested embroidering cats on things.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: My point, listeners, is that maybe Zoe and I could use your help. Send us your post-apocalyptic fashion tips.

ZOE CRICK: We'll be sharing them right after this.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Welcome back to Radio New Hope, where we're sharing tips on how to stay stylish in the zombie apocalypse.

ZOE CRICK: A lot of the suggestions we've had so far come from runners who need to be able to move quickly, evade zoms, and stay comfortable on long runs.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You might think, as I did only a few minutes ago, that running is not compatible with expressing yourself through fashion, but you'd be wrong.

ZOE CRICK: Indeed, there are lots of ways to have fun with your running gear that don't affect speed or safety. Even if you're out by yourself and no one else can see you, a little bit of flare can lift your mood and make you feel more like yourself.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Running On Sunshine suggests, “Novelty shoe laces are a fun way of adding color to your running outfit. You can often loot them from the children's section of sports or shoe shops, but they're also easy to make from a sturdy ribbon. Use a bit of tape or wax for the aglet.”

ZOE CRICK: Just be sure to tuck your new laces into your shoes the next time you visit the kitten pen.

~

ZOE CRICK: Today on Radio New Hope, we're taking suggestions on how to jazz up your running gear.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: This next step is one for more creative runners, and it comes from Art Rate.

ZOE CRICK: Art Rate?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah, like heart rate, because they're a runner, but also an artist.

ZOE CRICK: [sighs] I don't know if we should be reading out people's usernames. We're just encouraging bad puns.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: This episode is about self-expression, Zoe, whatever form it takes, even terrible puns.

ZOE CRICK: Hmm. What does Art Rate have to say for themselves?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Decorate your running outfit with permanent marker, embroidery, and whatever embellishments you can get your hands on. As long as your number is still clearly visible to your comms operator, there's no limit to what you can do. Wearing something that truly reflects your personality can give you motivation on the most difficult runs.”

ZOE CRICK: That's a nice idea. I'll forgive the pun.

~

ZOE CRICK: Progressive Runner writes, “Hi Phil, where did you get a Dream Theater T-shirt? I'm also a fan of prog metal and have been on several runs to find old gig venues to see if there are any T-shirts left. Unfortunately, all I've found are hordes of zombified metal heads. I used to love a good mosh pit before the apocalypse, but it's just not the same when everyone's trying to bite you.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, first off Progressive Runner, please stop putting your life at risk in pursuit of merch. It's not worth it, and that's not what the bands would have wanted.

ZOE CRICK: Especially since they no longer make money from T-shirt sales.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Exactly, which is why I don't mind letting you know that my T-shirt is a fake. Before the apocalypse, touring musicians relied on the merch stand to support themselves, but now that most of them are dead, it's no longer unethical to make knock-offs.

ZOE CRICK: Did you make your T-shirt, Phil?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: One of Amelia's stylists did. She's very handy with the fabric paints.

ZOE CRICK: Oh? What did you give her in exchange?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I had to promise to play this next song.

~

ZOE CRICK: What's our next fashion tip, Phil?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, it's more of a PSA. “Hi Phil and Zoe, I run Support Network, a sports bra exchange service. We travel between settlements to provide runners with the best fitting sports bras. Simply visit our message board on ROFFLEnet, tell us which sizes your settlement has and which they need. It might take us a while to get to you, but we have a huge selection of style and color in every size. For some reason, post-apocalyptic Britain has no shortage of sports bras.” That's a great initiative, don't you think, Zoe? [keyboard clicks] Zoe?

ZOE CRICK: Sorry. I was just posting a request to their message board. Fellow sports bra wearers of New Canton, I suggest you do the same.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And while you do that, here's a song about sharing.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Our next post-apocalyptic style tip comes from In Stitches, who says, “Here are just a few reasons why knitting is one of the most valuable skills you can learn in the post apocalypse.”

ZOE CRICK: “One, you don't necessarily need to send runners off in search of equipment. Knitting needles can be whittled from sticks, and if your settlement has sheep, wool is a renewable resource.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Two, the act of knitting has many cognitive, therapeutic, and - if you join a knitting circle - social benefits.”

ZOE CRICK: “Three, designing knitting patterns can be a great creative outlet, and since they can be conveyed using just symbols, they can be quickly shared over ROFFLEnet.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: “Four, larger needles can double as anti-zom weapons, as long as you aim for the eyes and remember to clean the blood off them before you get back to your knitting. The last thing you want is to make an infectious jumper by mistake.”

ZOE CRICK: That's, uh, resourceful. We'll be back with more fashion right after this.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: If knitting's not your thing, our next correspondent has a great idea for making some stylish winter clothes. “Next time you're out on a supply run, make a detour to a toy shop and pick up some plushies. A little reverse taxidermy - "

ZOE CRICK: Oh no!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Plushies aren't real animals, Zoe.

ZOE CRICK: I know, but I couldn't look one in the eye and take out its stuffing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh... our less sensitive listeners can use this method to generate bundles of fake fur, a versatile fabric that'll help you stay warm and, thanks to the pre-apocalyptic trend for cuddly unicorns, colorful.

ZOE CRICK: I think I'll stick with the knitting.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: If it makes you feel any better, no plushies were harmed in the making of this next song.

~

ZOE CRICK: Polished in the Apocalypse says that a manicure adds a splash of color to your running look without impeding your movement.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm surprised we didn't think of that one ourselves. One of Amelia's first acts as prime minister was to open a nail bar at New Canton.

ZOE CRICK: She was accused of extravagance at first, but it's actually become a community hub. People go there to relax and come away feeling a little more, well, polished.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I've only just noticed, Zoe, each one of your nails is a different color.

ZOE CRICK: I couldn't choose. Amelia reserves all the Chanel nail polish for herself, but there are still plenty of other varieties for the rest of us.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, the rest of us in New Canton, maybe. What about everyone else?

ZOE CRICK: Until Amelia makes nail bars mandatory for all settlements, why not grab a few bottles of nail polish the next time you're on a low stakes meds run to a chemist? Just be sure to apply it in a well-ventilated area.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: A word of caution now from Nine Fingers, who says, “Jewelry adds sparkle to any outfit and can be a great way of expressing your individuality, especially if you make your own. However, think twice before wearing it on a run. Necklaces are easy for zoms to grab, earrings can be torn out, and rings are a risk if you're using weapons. Trust me.”

ZOE CRICK: Oh dear.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, if you're fond of jewelry, maybe keep it for when you're safe in your settlement.

ZOE CRICK: That’s sound advice. Also - naming no names, Runner Thirty-Seven - don't scavenge jewelry off dead zombies, no matter how on fleek it is. You're asking to get infected. And on that note...

~

ZOE CRICK: It's not just jewelry that you can enjoy when you're not at risk of zombie attacks.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Loads of our listeners have written in to suggest items you can use if you'd like a more flamboyant settlement look.

ZOE CRICK: Silk flowers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Craft supplies.

ZOE CRICK: Stickers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Fridge magnets.

ZOE CRICK: Christmas decorations.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Basically, listeners, as long as you're not using something that might be better deployed for a more practical purpose, there's no limit to the fun you can have with your personal style.

ZOE CRICK: Speaking of fun, here's a song that always puts a smile on my face.

~

ZOE CRICK: Our last suggestion comes from Fairy Zom Mother, who writes, “No one has space for a large wardrobe anymore. That doesn't mean you can't wear something special if the occasion demands. It's nice to dress up once in a while, so why not implement a share and swap system at your settlement so people can borrow clothes, shoes, and accessories?”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Wonder how long it would take to get that set up in New Canton. I've actually got a special evening planned soon.

ZOE CRICK: Ooh, is it a date?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Maybe? I'll tell you all about it during this next song.

~

ZOE CRICK: Um, I think the orange ones might be a bit much.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, and we're live.

ZOE CRICK: Sorry about that, listeners. Recently we've learned that there's a way for everyone to express themselves through fashion, even in the post-apocalypse, but we'd like to add that not everyone has to.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's right. Some people don't even bother to brush the cat hair off their jumper before they come to work, and that's just fine.

ZOE CRICK: The cat hair is a deliberate part of my aesthetic, Phil. Our point is that everyone's priorities have changed. Most dress codes died with the apocalypse and few of us mourn them. You're no longer likely to be turned down for a job because you couldn't get your hands on an expensive suit for the interview. Nowadays, people are valued for doing what they do best.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: And on that note, let Zoe and I do what we do best and play you a song.

ZOE CRICK: Until next time, listeners.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hello again, citizens.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, before you say anything else, there's something important we need to discuss.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Is this about getting a pet for the show again? Because I thought we settled that.

ZOE CRICK: We haven't, but no, this is about something very upsetting I found on ROFFLEnet today.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh, the Radio New Hope fanfic? Hmm. There's one of you and me being turned into zoms on air that is both deeply disturbing and shockingly well-written.

ZOE CRICK: Again, no. What I found is a thread on ROFFLEnet called “Radio New Hope Has Changed” full of people - well, full of two people - who think we've lost our touch. Look, Just_Saying_108 says, “It breaks my heart. Zoe and Phil aren't what they used to be.” And then Radio_No_Hope says, “It all started when they got into bed with Amelia.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm assuming in my case they mean metaphorically.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, we need to take this seriously. If our listeners aren't happy, we're not happy.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: It's only two people, Zoe.

ZOE CRICK: That's two too many.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Actually, I've got an idea.

ZOE CRICK: Wonderful, I knew you'd think of something. Tell me right after this.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Listeners, some of you think we've changed, and while change can be good, we want to make sure we're still giving you the content you deserve.

ZOE CRICK: That sounds vaguely threatening.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's why we're going to crowdsource our content again. I have reopened our inbox for suggestions on what Radio New Hope should do next. We're open to anything. Except turning zom on air.

ZOE CRICK: Phil, nobody's going to ask for that.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You haven't seen the comments on that Radio New Hope fanfic. Anyway, listeners, please send in your thoughts. Who knows? Your idea might become our next segment.

ZOE CRICK: We did get some great suggestions last time. It'll be good to round up some new ones.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Exactly! Now everyone put your thinking caps on, and here's a song to get you in a creative mood.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: All right, listeners, it's time to open the suggestion box and find out what you'd like to hear on Radio New Hope... Huh.

ZOE CRICK: Is that it? I thought we'd get a few more suggestions.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, maybe it's a sign we're not so bad after all.

ZOE CRICK: No, we can't get complacent. Some listeners aren't happy with us.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Two listeners.

ZOE CRICK: It's just that with all that ROFFLEnet talk of us having changed, I thought we'd get a bit more feedback. Still, we'll go with what we've got.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We need to drumroll first.

ZOE CRICK: Seriously?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: There are few things in life that can’t be improved with a drumroll. Scientific fact.

ZOE CRICK: Fine. Drumroll, please.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: [mutters rapidly] Drumroll drumroll drumroll drum drum drum drum drum cymbal!

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] Zom_Truther writes, “What if you ate some of that red fungus live on air? We know the prime minister is lying about the danger and hoarding it for herself.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, that's a bad idea. What did I say about us not turning zom on air?

ZOE CRICK: Yeah, Truther, we're not going to eat red fungus. Amelia isn't lying... about that, at least.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's right. And uh, please don't test your theory out for yourself.

ZOE CRICK: We'll be back with more of your hopefully less reckless suggestions after this song.

~

ZOE CRICK: Time for another look at our surprisingly meager suggestion box. Come on now, we know you have great ideas, so send them in. This one from Zombologist. “I love that doctor advice show - ”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: The Drs. Maxine and Paula one? Us, too. Listeners, if you're not tuning in to that show as well as ours, you're missing out.

ZOE CRICK: Definitely. Anyway, the letter says, “I love that doctor advice show, but they only focus on the bodies and minds of the living. What about the study of zombies? I think you should bring a zombie into the studio and do some tests. I have a few experiments in mind. See attached for details.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh... Oh, that's... Was that diagram the right way up? How would that even work?

ZOE CRICK: I'm not sure, but I think those are electrodes, or possibly poisonous snakes? Either way, Zombologist, we have a pretty strict no zoms in the studio policy.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: What can we do? Hands tied.

ZOE CRICK: Much like the zom in that illustration, I think.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Yeah, that's about as close as I want to come to that scenario. Let's clear it from our minds with this song.

~

ZOE CRICK: Well listeners, a few more suggestions trickled in during that last song.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: We are seriously considering some of the less extreme ones, such as an interview with King Jamie or a Z-Day retrospective.

ZOE CRICK: This one is from Inquiring_Mindz - with a Z, naturally. “What about a show that gives a look at the human side of politics?”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So far, so good. At least there are no zombies involved.

ZOE CRICK: “I'd love for us to get a closer look at Prime Minister Spens’ flat. It must be lovely. She has marvelous taste, after all.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Let me see that. [paper rustles] “You could describe the art, the architecture, any documents that are lying around, the paint, the paint colors, any plans you might find in the drawers...”

ZOE CRICK: Come on now, Inquiring, you're asking us to spy on Amelia. Even if I did do that - which, of course, I wouldn't - there's no way I'd out myself by sharing it on air.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: How restrained of you.

ZOE CRICK: What can I say? I prefer not to incur the wrath of the most powerful woman in the country. Nice try, Inquiring, but we're broadcasters, not espionage agents. And that's all of them, right?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Right. Right, thanks to everyone for your suggestions. Uh, even the more... creative ones. Let's celebrate your ingenuity with this next number.

~

ZOE CRICK: You'll never guess what.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: I'm sure I won't.

ZOE CRICK: You weren't a very funny child, were you? I went back on ROFFLEnet to see if that thread had more positive things to say about us now that we've been through the suggestion box. However, turns out I misinterpreted the whole thing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So people don't think Radio New Hope has changed for the worse?

ZOE CRICK: They do, but it's not the broadcasts they think have changed, it's us. They think we're doppelgängers.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Like Zoe and Phil's evil twins?

ZOE CRICK: Exactly. It's not clear if they think we've been brainwashed into thinking we're real Zoe and Phil or if we're in on it, but Radio_No_Hope says, “There's no way Amelia would allow a free press unless she could control it, and that means controlling Phil and Zoe.”

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Well, they do have a point, but ci-ti-zens, do not fear, we have not been replaced by ourselves.

ZOE CRICK: How do you know?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: What do you mean, how do I know? I know who I am.

ZOE CRICK: Or do you? What if you just think you do? Listeners, we'll get to the bottom of it right after this next song.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Let me get this straight. You think I could have been replaced by a double without you noticing? You noticed when I changed my hair parting last month.

ZOE CRICK: Now that I think about it, that could have been a sign you were Phil 2.0.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hmm. If that's the case, anything could be a sign. How do I know you're not Evil Zoe?

ZOE CRICK: My name's still spelled with a Z. Evil Zoe would definitely swap out the Z for an X... I think.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're not sure?

ZOE CRICK: Radio No Hope said it. There could be brainwashing involved.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: So let me get this straight. You think Amelia found doppelgängers of us?

ZOE CRICK: Or cloned us. Always a possibility.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Of course, and then she brainwashed said doppel-clones because - ?

ZOE CRICK: Because she wants to control the press. Although there might be an even more devious reason. We are talking about Amelia, after all. I'll think it over during this next song.

~

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Have you figured out why Amelia might possibly want to replace us with brainwashed clones?

ZOE CRICK: No. I mean, yes, but one of the reasons only works if we meet the clones, and the other one requires mint and a trampoline. I wonder if the fact that I can't figure it out is a symptom of the brainwashing.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: That's convenient.

ZOE CRICK: And I wonder when it began. Do you think it all started when Amelia gave us this hideous red furniture?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Green.

ZOE CRICK: What?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Hideous green furniture.

ZOE CRICK: I don't know what you're talking about. The furniture is red. Maybe new Phil is colorblind?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You're kidding, right? It’s green.

ZOE CRICK: Am I kidding, or are you different now?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You know what? There's an easy way to settle this. I'm going to ask someone who has been in here what color the furniture is. Don't you move. Just, uh, play a song and I'll be right back.

[door opens]

ZOE CRICK: [giggles] Now that he's gone, listeners, between you and me, the couches are definitely green. I know that was a tiny bit rotten of me, but I couldn't resist. While we wait for Phil's triumphant return, here's a song that any version of me would love.

~

[door opens]

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Oh my God, you're right.

ZOE CRICK: Right about what?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: About the doppelgängers. Everyone confirmed it. The furniture in here's red, but I see green, so I must be colorblind now. Maybe all clones are.

ZOE CRICK: Wait, who did you ask?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Uh, Nadia, Runner Thirty-Seven. They said it's red. Now that I'm a clone, I wonder if I still like the same foods. Remind me, how do I feel about jam?

ZOE CRICK: You're... you're joking, right? Because the couches are green. I was just pulling your leg.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Wait, so you see them as green, too? Maybe we're both clones.

ZOE CRICK: I guess. I -

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Or maybe we're from an alternate reality, one where people don't play pranks on their lovely radio cohosts because they might get paid back in spades!

ZOE CRICK: [laughs] You - you almost had me going there! [sighs] Well, I guess I might have deserved it. A little.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: A little?

ZOE CRICK: Oh, no comment. All I can say is that I'm happy in this universe with the best cohost ever. This next song is for you, Phil, because you're one of a kind.

~

ZOE CRICK: That whole business with the doppelgängers has got me thinking, Phil.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Not again.

ZOE CRICK: No, not that we're clones or anything like that. I've been thinking about conspiracy theories. Do you think there are more of them now after Z-Day?

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Probably. Look at all the things we've gone through. Uh, Sigrid, Moonchild, the Curly Wurly shortage. That's enough to make anyone a little paranoid.

ZOE CRICK: I don't know. I think maybe it's the opposite. All of the conspiracies since Z-Day were eventually exposed. Even if we were replaced by clones, someone would find out and tell people about it.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: You have a point. Kind of reassuring in a way.

ZOE CRICK: I hope so. For the concerned ROFFLEnet folks, don't worry. If Phil and I are ever replaced by clones, you'll find out about it soon enough, probably from someone at Abel.

PHIL CHEESEMAN: Very true. We're counting on you, Runner Five.

ZOE CRICK: And if the worst should occur, avenge us!

PHIL CHEESEMAN: But in the meantime, we hope all of you carry on enjoying Radio New Hope with the real Phil and Zoe. This one's for everyone who's dedicated to staying true to themselves.

~

[haleviyah]

It's that time of year again!

My mother - despite being a sweet Christian lady - introduced me to horror films when I was little!

Friday the Thirteenth, Halloween, Poltergeist, and etc. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have been introduced to the genre. So... This one's for you, mom! One of your most mentioned films that we didn't have the chance to watch together, Candyman Trap remix! See you soon you baby-crazy, Decade Warrior babe! Can't wait to share with you the crazy but hilarious bullshit I did in this life over a glass of wine with the Big Guy!

Despite your departure leaving me hurt for a moment, I will always make October my favorite month. 

Bit of a PSA

Personally, due to my mother’s departure into the next life, I’m not a huge fan of chemo therapy anymore. I do blame the treatment and the lack of an adequate diet (she surgically shrunk her stomach) caked with depression to what contributed to her decline in health. I was always apprehensive of her shrinking her stomach for weight loss reasons, and even more so when they used aggressive chemo therapy in her weakened state when the cancer migrated to her liver. I held my tongue to give peace of mind to her, but I now regret that so much. If I had been stubborn with my input, she may still be alive... but, whatever. However, no one is to blame for this unfortunate event - myself nor the doctors whom she knew and I have met -, but forgiveness is what she would want for us to do to move forward and learn. We all just didn’t know. So the alternative option i propose is simple: 

1) Don’t make the surgeon or oncologist the first person to talk to, take a moment, breathe and talk to the Beloved first. Get all that negative energy out of you (worries, fears and etc.), and take a moment to count your blessings in life the Beloved gave to you, and convict and forgive yourself or anyone that has done you wrong. Don’t make the doctors report the last report! Everyday count your blessings and defend them in Love.

2) Speak to a dietician. Red meats and salmon help recover from depression or stress which is known to cause cancer. Anything that helps with immunity and blood count/cardiac health are recommended (spinach, lamb, and even red wines). 

Side note: My mother took this weird S.S.S. Tonic liquid Omega-3 vitamin and made me take it due my menstrual issues in youth. It helped with our blood count and heart health, but the draw back is the bad, sour metallic taste, and that you’ll crave red meats (such as burgers and BBQ) like crazy after the first few shots. I later became the carnivore and wine-drinker of the family, but mom cut away the necessary fats and proteins to lose weight.  

3) EXERCISE! Don’t let the fatigue get to you all the time. Take good walks, and find a new/revive a hobby like painting, sculpting, music, or creative-writing that allows you to exercise creativity and gets your mind off of stress. Don’t bottle up your passion. Meditation and scriptural/biblical study helps too! Even if you may be a noob at them, just do these activities for fun and the joy of learning new things!

I had marching band in high school along with heavy metal in my adult life, and mama had kick boxing and watching Richard Simmons. It worked! Anything to get our stress off our shoulders. 

Small tip: Herbal teas also help. My mom was a huge fan of hibiscus and chamomile teas. And hanging out with friends and laughing also helps tremendously. 

Don’t take any day for granted. 

Treat every day as a gift and live it to the fullest. 

I won’t take my mom’s departure as an excuse to fuel fear and panic women to get checked every October. My mom wouldn’t want that. No, I’d rather counter that status quo instead. My mother always wanted to heal people and recently I learned why she had that vision; it was a familiar vision, but she was ignorant of the costs. It was a cleansing moment, but she wouldn’t want me to cry for her anymore. Enough with fear, enough with depression, and enough with pain. 

We are stronger than what our demons say. We are created by Love and to live in the nature of Love. She received the best birthday gift of seeing Love’s face, but I personally believe I was given the privilege of witnessing what she prayed for me to learn Love’s nature. 

So this year, let’s honor the resting warriors by not living in fear of the curse, but rather living in the blessings no matter how big or small. Let’s make the most of this!