#this has been sitting in my drafts for a loooong time

[azulock]

this has been sitting in my drafts for sooooo loooong, it's mostly born from how mean people can be in this fandom about poor Oli looking the way he does. I love his messy 'I don't have my life together' look, it's very relatable, but today we putting him under tha razor!

summary. when Oliver finds himself forced to get a clean shave for some important club event he tries to rope you into doing the work for him. and you do it, cause he is too charming and you can't resist spoiling this man

pairing. Oliver Aiku x reader

wordcount. 2,6k

warnings. some slight mention of nsfw stuff but veeeery slight, it's mostly domestic fluff, just pure distilled domesticity shot straight into your veins, you've been warned

helping hand.

"Really Oliver, you pestering me during work hours to do that for you?"

Giving one last hard stare at your screen, you groaned and swiveled you chair around to face the man currently breaking the peace in your office. With hair still damp from his shower, Oliver stood bare foot before you - a trail of wet footsteps clear behind him. God, you'd lost count of how many times you'd told him he'd end up sick if he kept doing that.

"Oh come on, it's not that big of a deal," he insisted, cutting off your thoughts, pouting as you fitted him with a steely gaze. "I neeeeed you."

You roll your eyes at his whiny antics - and complete disregard for your work life. It was almost funny to see a grown man pout like this, especially when you contrasted the silly expression with this statuesque of a man. You couldn't help but let your eyes roam free for a moment, taking in the sight of him. Water droplets still rolled down his strong torso, taking your gaze to the short hair trailing down his lower abs, to the point where his sweatpants hung dangerously low on his hips. Shit, he was diverting your attention.

"Oliver," you sigh, rubbing your eyes to try and exorcise the images stealing your focus, "you've been doing that by yourself your entire adult life, you don't need me."

"That's not true, it goes way better when you do it for me," Oliver whined again, and even in his husky tone, you could hear it, the begging, so shameless.

At this moment he looked every bit like a dog, a ragged mutt pleading for attention at his owner's feet. Hell, he was even trying to shoot you the best puppy eyes he could muster, pout returning to those pretty lips. You'd say it was ridiculous, but maybe it was the smell of soap or maybe the warmth emanating from his skin, but something was making you want to give in.

"That's nonsense," you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose as you tried to convince yourself to not let him sway you. "I'm not a barber, and you've been shaving your own damn self for years. I'm pretty sure you can keep your eternal stubble under control on your own."

"Well, I could," Oliver shrugged, remaining unfazed by the exasperation in your voice. "Though, this time I'm gonna have to shave it clean."

"What?" Suddenly, you were fully immersed in the topic, even though you felt like you'd fallen into a trap.

Oliver had to contain his smile when you suddenly went from nonchalant to interested. It was really cute. He knew you liked feeling the scruff around his face, which he always thought was absolutely endearing. Now, sadly, he'd have to part ways with it, albeit temporarily.

"You remember tomorrow's party? Well, the team's president is an old school kinda guy. He's gonna get pissed if he sees the team's captain shows up looking so unclean for an important event," he answers with a full body sigh, eyebrows arching high as he raises his shoulders.

"That's ridiculous," your words cut so dry that Oliver can't help but laugh at the barely contained disgust in your tone.

"Well, I think so too. But I like my position right now, if the old man wants me clean for the party, I can make the sacrifice," he answered with a wave of his hand, stepping closer to your chair before leaning in, using his hands to prop his body onto your armrests. "But it could be less painful if you helped me."

You sat in silence, staring him down for a long minute as he leaned in close, that charming smile never faltering. From this close, you could smell the conditioner on his hair and feel his breath on your skin. Shit, you could feel yourself falling for it. Rubbing a hand over your face, you slumped further down the chair, sighing as you went.

"Fine," you groaned, looking back up to his beaming face. "Go soak the soap and the brush, I'll be right there."

Closing the distance between you, Oliver met your lips with his in a short kiss before pulling back in a breath, his skin still damp and warm from the shower. "Already done that, I'll go get myself a chair."

You hummed as he got up, lifting your body heavily off of the chair after he'd disappeared into the hallway. You spoiled him too much, you were sure of it, but you guessed he had the same type of charm as a big dog who still believes they are lap sized. It was hard to say no to that.

Following the wet footsteps, you found yourself in your en suite bathroom, Oliver sitting on a high chair he'd taken from the kitchen counter. At least he'd left everything ready, so all you had left to do was commit the dismal crime of doing away with his stubble. A pity, you'd miss the feeling of it on your skin. For however many days the shave would last, that is.

Picking the plastic bowl of shaving soap, you started moving the barber brush in circular motions to begin lathering it up. Taking a step forward, you approached Oliver as your hands worked, shaking your head as he snaked an arm around your waist.

"You are spoiled," you mumbled, feeling him laugh as he looked at you both in the mirror, your gaze following his.

"Maybe," he hummed, "but I spoil you plenty too."

"Well, here we go I guess," you said with a chuckle, making him straighten to give you a better access to his face and neck.

When the soft brush touches his face Oliver hums, closing his eyes as you begin spreading the soap over his jaw. It felt nice, both the gentle smell of lemon grass and the feeling of having you taking care of him. Yeah, he was spoiled, he knew it, but could he really be blamed for liking being pampered?

Oliver was only human after all, and having to unwillingly part ways with his facial hair was not his favorite thing. So it only made sense that he'd try to squeeze whichever little joy he could from this situation. And having you do that for him was joy enough on his book. Between feeling the warmth coming from your body and the comfortable silence that had settled, he could almost forget he was being forced to do this.

Opening his eyes he found your face close to his, gaze set in concentration as you moved the brush around his neck, finishing lathering it up. It was beautiful, really, sometimes you'd focus on something so much you wouldn't even see the things around you. Cute, and he couldn't resist the urge to take advantage of that, lowering his lips to meet yours in a quick peck.

"Oliver," you exclaimed as he laughed, "you gotta cooperate, you bastard. Now I got soap on my face," you grunted, looking at the mirror and then back to him.

"Just a little bit," he chuckled, reaching out to clean your face with his hand as you sneered at him.

You shook your head and turned to put the brush back, watching from the mirror as he still chuckled at you. Pestering you when you were focused never seemed to stop amusing him. And to boot, you couldn't deny there was something infuriatingly endearing about it. Or maybe you were just blinded by the casual charm of his smile - again.

Picking up the safety razor, you turn back to him again. "Now, you better behave if you don't wanna have to clean your blood off of the white floor."

"So mean," Oliver pouts before smiling that heart shattering smile again. "Alright, I'm in your hands then."

You roll your eyes as he straightens up, hands gripping the sides of the chair. When the blade first meets his face you feel Oliver shiver at the cold touch of the metal, but as quick as it happens, it's gone. You move your wrist and the blade glides down his warm skin in short strokes, following the grain of the hair on his stubble. Oh, it's gonna be so sad to see it gone. Especially knowing how a good part of Oliver's appeal came from how he looked at least a little like a mess. You couldn't even recall the face of his club's president, but you now hated the old man.

There is ease in the silence that settles as you carefully work the sharp blade along his face and neck. Only the rough sound of metal scraping against the hair and skin fills the bathroom as an oddly well-behaved Oliver sits in stillness. It feels almost suspicious, even, but you guessed he had no interest in showing up to the party with a cut on his face. Not that you believed even that could do much harm to his good looks.

When that first pass is done you turn to the sink and wash the razor before picking up the brush start the cycle and lather his face again. Though, just as you turn back he catches you off guard, forward and capturing your lips in a quick kiss - but he almost topples his chair over in the process. Desperately you steady him up, pushing his large frame back by his shoulders.

For a moment there the scare takes the best of you, brows furrowing in a scowl, ready to chastise Oliver for the stupidy. But then he starts laughing, the warm and husky sound enveloping you as they echo off the walls, breaking your defenses. You laugh along, slapping his shoulder but leaning against him for a short moment. Sometimes he could be an idiot, but that too was part of the appeal.

Once you both recover you go back to your work, lathering his face, putting the brush back in place, picking up the razor, and bringing it to touch his face. This time you move it cross grain, once more enjoying the sound of the metal moving over his skin. It's all peaceful, for at least half of the process until Oliver grows bored, his large hand finding your bare leg, fingers traveling over the back of your thigh until they reach the hem of your shorts.

You grunt in warning and he only hums quietly in what sounded like a mocking acknowledgment. Oliver disregards your death glare completely, his palm touching your thigh, rough fingers massaging your skin as they move. Even then he doesn't stay put, hand traveling up and groping your ass, kneading the flesh under your shorts just as your reach his neck. For a moment you consider giving into the desire to leave just a little gash on his skin, but you manage to resist.

Just as you try to turn back again he he uses the hand on your ass to pull you closer in. You don't even have time to protest as his lips crash against yours - and you can already notice the strangeness of not feeling his stubble. Still, he doesn't give you much time to think on it, tongue slipping past your lips and exploring the wet insides of your mouth. He tastes like coffee, and you can't help but let the taste lure you in, the sensations enveloping you, warmth rising in your face until then it's gone.

His lips part from yours with a quick peck and you are already missing the kiss - what a bastard, teasing you like that. You huff and shake your head when Oliver winks at you, slapping your ass as you turn around and repeat your previous motions of washing the razor and grabbing the brush again.

You lather his face, then throw the brush in the sink before picking up the razor and letting it touch his skin for a final pass, this time against the grain. Oliver hums when you lean in and it sends shivers down your spine, his hand finding your leg again but this time he just let it dance over your thigh absentmindedly. You find comfort in the warmth of his palm and in the ritualistic nature of this whole thing - it's a soothing type of repetitive task.

This time the blade hugs close to his skin, and when you get to his neck you can feel his steady pulse. Sitting so still, so calm, the beating of his heart feels strangely slow, yet heavy and powerful. You know it's the telltale sign of that athletic resistance and ungodly endurance, but the slow rhythm never ceases to seem almost eerie.

When you finish you run a hand over his face, feeling the smooth, still damp skin. It's strange, but you take solace in knowing it's temporary. Soon enough it'll be gone, though not without leaving Oliver itchy for at least a day, and you always found it funny how bothered he was by that. He smiles at you and you can feel it go straight between your legs - fuck, you are sure he did that on purpose.

But you don't give the pleasure of attention, instead turning around to rest the razor on the stone sink. You hear Oliver yawn from behind you, and watch from the mirror as he stretches as you pick a towel from the rack. Turning back to him you pat his face dry, and as if he wasn't already being spoiled enough, you rub the aftershave lotion on his skin. When it's all done Oliver climbs down from the chair and pulls you in by the waist, placing a soft kiss on your lips before you both turn to the mirror.

"There you go," you say, resting your hip against the sink as Oliver leans in, "how you feeling?"

"Like I'm seven years younger," he responds, touching his face with his free hand. "Which is a nightmare, actually," he pouts.

"Oh, come on, it's only temporary. You gonna be back to having the stubble and looking great again in just a few days."

"Hey," he grunts, squinting his eyes at you, "what do you mean by that? You talk like I'm not handsome anymore," he almost growls in a joking threat, a smile playing at his lips as he cages you against the stone counter, hands on each side of your body. "What's up with that, huh?"

You chuckle as Oliver says the question low in your ear right before assaulting your face with soft kisses. You laugh, grabbing at his shoulders as he snakes a hand around your waist. He's rubbing his face against yours and you can't help but notice how odd it is not to feel the stubble you'd grown so used to.

"Oliver," you laugh, dual colored eyes looking up at you as he peppers kisses over your neck, "this is so strange, your face is so smooth."

"Ah, but you gonna have to deal with it," you laugh as he rubs his face against yours almost like a cat before taking his lips to yours and placing a quick peck. "You gotta make up to me for saying something so mean."

"I've just done your shaving for you, ain't that enough?"

"Nah, I can think of something better."

He pulls you in closer, rubbing his pelvis against yours, letting you feel the large bulge under the the fabric of his sweatpants. Of course, he was like that, it didn't surprise you at all. But you guessed you could spoil him just a little bit more, as a reward for behaving so well even under such difficult circumstances. Yeah, he deserved a bit more pampering, why not?

now for a word from our sponsors: @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife

[the-mandawhor1an]

Don't mind me I'm just rambling...

As tomorrow is a special day I want to get a few thoughts out there.

The decision to write something for Tumblr specifically instills fear in me.

Why?

Because I have abandoned too many stories by now. My Google drive is filled to the brim with drafts and unfinished stories. I'm scared of abandoning Maia as well. And in return letting you guys down.

This is the first fic I'm publishing in a loooong time. It has been 10 years.

I've lived off of my own, sometimes caffeine driven, motivation and a bit of Zaddy's euphoric feedback whenever she got to read my stuff. Maybe getting just one or two people to enjoy my pathetic endeavors will fuel my fire enough to make it through.

I'm not setting myself up for failure here

I really don't want to. As much as I like foreshadowing, this isn't it.

Maia and her story are very important to me. As is my partner in crime, my muse, my riduur in spe, Zaddy. I will not abandon the roleplay, I will not abandon the daydreaming, I will not abandon the fic.

It's two years until we probably see the last of Din Djarin. There's so much time to fill the void until we get our final fix. Who knows if we even get a season 4 before the movie. I want to be a part of the fandom space. Because I enjoy going absolutely insane with you guys. And as much as I love being on the receiving end of your creativity, I want to give something back.

Back to my original train of thought:

I'm 'storyboarding' Maia's story right now. I'm trying to condense a story that currently sits at about 300k words. We have maybe 1/3 of the plot written out so far.

It's insane.

All of this while working full time and while simultaneously working on my other hobbies (namely drawing and making Maia's costumes) – forget video games.

I'm feeling a lot of anxiety. I love the story and fear that I'm not doing it justice.

Watch out for tomorrow.

Love you guys.

[eomma-jpeg]

for the ask game, sorry if these have already been asked!

8, 10, 14, 17, 25, 27+28 :)

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

i already answered this, but what a shame! it is my college au and this first "book" is gonna be about the vashmeryl relationship coming to fruition, and the sequel will be them working through some loooong time trauma and issues, but together !

10. what is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

oh months, certainly. i have wips and drafts rn that are just sitting.... waiting for me to return LOL

i try to go back and finish the chunks i have and not leave them like,,, halfway done, but i do have a vashmeryl wip i started.... over a year ago? and still have not finished it lol

14. where do you get your inspiration?

honestly from other media i watch. i'm currently planning out a trigun dancer au and i was motivated because of Strictly Ballroom, a silly Baz Lurhman movie (please watch it the romance is so cute and it takes itself so seriously)

also from my friends !!! @squid789 is such a good person to bounce ideas off of and has inspired (i stole her ideas) a few aus

17. talk about your writing and editing process

so... ideally i do what i did for in the meadow where I wrote and wrote and wrote,,, and then just constantly went over chapters with edits and rewrites until it was time to post.

with itm i was always at least 3 chapters ahead and had the time to go back and check through chapters, make sure everything flowed well, ensure continuity... but with my newer works it hasn't been like that.

I have good grammar and spelling in general and i also use The Internet to write on so it gets spell checked, but i don't take nearly as much time to edit my work as i'd like to anymore

im a sleepy teacher who just wants to post her fanfiction T-T

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

alright!

so i love doing embroidery. im currently working on a cross stitch project that has been very relaxing

i love to sing. i cannot express to yall how much i love singing. it is seriously my favorite thing to do. i love music and expressing my feelings through song. i lovvvvvvvvvvve to sing (im pretty good too hehe)

i sew and draw (SOMETIMES) and i cook. i do a lot of things! i love to explore just various arts and crafts

27. your favorite part of the writing process

i just love creating. i love putting ideas on the page and getting the content that i want... because i love the writing of others (and i do apologize) but there is always something that isn't for me

but thats because it wasn't written for me!! it was written for the author

and thats why i write,,,, because i want something specific

and i love romance and it gives me the power to make my blorbos kiss >:)

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

putting the ideas on the page T-T

im a bit stuck right now with what a shame mostly because i keep doubting myself WHOOPS

but its so hard when i cant decide with idea will be best

IMPORTANT LACE ADVICE: it doesn't matter what idea you get down, just get something down. once you have something down, you can change it or decide if you even still want it. the hurdle is getting the idea down!

thanks goo !!!!

[doodle17]

🏳️‍🌈, 🏳️‍⚧️, 🧸, 👻, 🎶, 👽, 💤, 🦾, 💝, 🫂, 💔, 🪢, 📓, 👗, 🔪, 🌟, 🥇, 🍫, 🎭, ❤️‍🔥, 💄, 🖕, 😺, 😬, 😭, 😶, Pooter

LOOOONG ass post below, lots of reading. I have like- 2 more of these for other characters in my drafts rn. Yall gonna be reading a shit ton 😭

Your welcome/I'm so sorry

I think Raz is Bisexual

I think Raz is Cis Male (I should probably tell yall now that, unless canonically stated otherwise, I usually consider characters being Cis)

Raz was a wild child! He was always running around and getting into things he wasn't supposed to.

I think after getting over his fear of Hydrophobia, he'd probably be afraid of thinhs in water. I think he'd be a submechaniphobic or something like that. Can't say I blame him. *shudders*

I think he'd like rock songs similar to "be my girl" by the Jets or "You're gonna go far kid" by Offspring. I also think he likes songs like "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-lite or "September" by Earth Wind and Fire (courtesy of Milla)

He opens bottles with his teeth. He was surprised to find out not everyone did, and how people freaked out and asked his his teeth were okay.

Sleep walks if he has caffeine before bed. (I've shared this one a lot but I just love it ok it's one of my fav hc)

Hmmm.... I don't think I have any disability hc for ol Razzle

I think Raz's love language is being openly, in use of a better word, honest. Like- once he's warmed up to someone he will say anything that's on his mind about them.

pretty loyal buddy! He'll stay up late with you, play video games with you, he'll sit patiently and listen to you ramble about your interests, listening happily.

Not sure if this is really angsty, but, he was pretty prone to nightmares a few days after the whole Maligula incident. He had to be comforted by his mom and sister for a while.

HUGE smugglers. All of them. Raz is not left out of the snuggle piles.

Idk if this counts as a hobby, but he likes making his own comics! He's usually scribbling in a notebook with pens and crayons.

I think the clothes Sasha gives him in 2 are the same clothes he ran away in. Why else would he have clothes small enough to fit a young boy? They shrunk in the washer? We all know Sasha is to smart to make a mistake like that.

WILL fight ANYONE. Always ready to throw hands, whether that be for a dare, to defend one of his friends, or just for fun.

Wants be grown up already! He can't wait until he's an adult and be able to go even "cooler" missions! (Little does he know it's a lot more paperwork than spy stuff)

Acrobatics, Hydrokenisis, especially making those two work together.

This kid has a stomach of IRON. He can eat ANYTHING. Not that he likes everything he eats, but he can definitely eat it.

He lies about his authority/ what he's allowed to do quite often. "Oh yeah! They let me do this all the time!" "Of COURSE they gave me permission to do this!"

(This is more for my older ver of Raz) He LOVES resting his head on Lilis chest like pillow, and vice versa. He loves it when they're just resting there, and she's reading stuff from old comics, newspapers or paperwork, making fun of it or commentary. He likes the way her voice sounds, how warm she is, hearing her calming heartbeat... when she lays on his chest, she likes it because "its f*cking cold"

His hair is actually (kind of) curly! But he uses Dions hair gel or a hair straightener.

He WILL let you know he is mad. Trust me.

Hes definitely been a lot softer on animals than he used to be. I believe it's because he befriended Harold.

idrk, I have stories I made up of stuff but Idk if they count as Hcs exactly lol

Not exactly the worst thing, but, when he and Lili stopped dating for like- 7 years and they barely interacted the whole time.

[citrus-cactus]

Creative Goals & Progress (May 7)

Just a little bit of progress this week, but important progress! Love checking things off lists XD

Goals are split between “things I will put on Tumblr when they’re done” (aka, fandom stuff), and “things I will be keeping to myself” (because they will eventually have my real name associated with them).

Each category is roughly organized by priority this time!

Fandom stuff:

Finish writing and editing Adv. 02/Kizuna “Sunglasses” fanfic (~2500 words) Status: Complete, barring minor edits

“Title card” illustration for Sunglasses fic Status: 5% complete

Color one (1) Appmon fanart Status: Not started

Personal stuff:

Finish pin design Status: Complete

SPP file import and text addition Status: ~5% complete

Paid work rough draft Status: Not started

Also, since I can’t help talking about this game, here’s my progress on Digimon Survive. Spoilers for Truthful Route, part 10 under the cut!

I’m actually not 100% sure if that’s the part I’m in, rotfl. The gang is exploring the waterway looking for the third Sovereign. I’ve done a couple of battles evo’ing to Baihumon and Ebowunmon, and they’re beasts XD I wasn’t sure if Saki or Miu was going to get Ebowonmon, but I like that choice for Saki. Floramon having a Mega evo with Water attacks has been useful at least once, cuz for whatever reason, it doesn’t seem like a lot of monsters are weak to Earth (also, SO MANY of the group’s Megas do Holy damage. Which is awesome, but it’s nice to have some variety, lol!)

I’m also in “I don’t want this game to be over so I want to prolong it as long as possible” mode, so… I decided to try to make it through the Mugen Recollection battles. They’re… kind of a slog. I’m only halfway done, but the Sovereign evolutions have been nice for them, and the unique item you get for Battle 10 looks pretty powerful (I have yet to equip it… the other problem is that when everyone is Level 70+, you barely need to equip items). Wish me luck completing them quickly… but… not too quickly?? What am I doing to myself 😭 (also, I find myself talking about the tactical side so often because I really feel like I need to sit down with all the screenshots I’ve taken to discuss the characters/story. That’s on my to-do list as well, I swear!!)

Just had some loooong conversations with most of the characters though (in the town). Lots of interesting insights. All the kids have grown so much T^T

I got Shuuji up to 100 affinity today, too! 🤯

[nctsjiho]

hi, i'm pretty sure there would be so much chaos if Jiho put Shotaro and Sungchan as her lockscreen?

YOO hold up!! I wrote something like this about J-Line (Names with J, not Japan line) about 4 months ago and this has been sitting in my drafts unfinished. But this message made me think of that so let me release this snippet first:

Cue the infamous abs picture story:

During a dance practise for NCT 2020, the members were goofing around, showing their abs, and JiHo felt the need to show her off (which impressed some of the boys) and afterwards she suggested to take a picture with Jaehyun, Johnny and Jeno. The also got Jaemin to agree and that's where the J-Line abs picture originated

Now, there's no digital copy of that picture, but it was JiHo's phone lock screen for a loooong time in 2020 and so people took some bad screenshots of when she barely showed it on a VLive

NOW, for your actual ask:

Yes and no? I mean, there definitely be chaos in NCity because of this, but it wholesome organised chaos.

Firstly, fans would take this as confirmation that Shotaro and Sungchan are her favourite members and would tease JiHo about it so much.

Fans: "I can't believe JiHo is soft for her members 🥺"

JiHo: *grumbling* "I'm not..."

The fans would also tease the other members about them not being JiHo's favourite or not being "worthy enough" to be JiHo's lock screen. Because tbh, this is a very rare occurrence. (at least that's what fans think because her home screen is a picture of NCT 127 and sometimes changes to other units)

The members who'd get all pouty because of it are definitely Haechan, Yuta (jokingly), Jeno, Renjun (yes even this boy who'd never admit it), Jeno and Jisung.

Everyone would just have a blast teasing JiHo about it tbh, until she changes her lock screen a few weeks later (a lot longer than ppl would expect) and now it's Sungchan and Shotaro being sulky.

[distantdreamboy]

"May this day bear fruit."

I'm loooong overdue for a free-write. There hasn't been anything huge going on but there are enough medium-sized things going on that overwhelm me when they overlap. 100 lbs feels like 100 lbs regardless of how its broken up but I can chip away until it gets lighter:

Honestly, truly, I'm looking forward to getting out of my own way. Looking forward to push through toward what's mine and I haven't felt this way in a long time. I've been blessed enough to see myself as worthy of my hearts desires, of my wildest dreams. One thing about me? I'm talented as fuck. Like for real. I have to say that with my whole chest because I've spent too much time believing otherwise. Shame and fear have taken too much time and too many moments from me. I'm dope. Super dope. I'm thankful every day that I'm coming home to myself. I'm thankful everyday that I'm protected on this journey and shown that my aspirations are within reach. It's already mine, I just have to put pen to paper. Amen.

As of late I've been feeling down, likely recovering from an emotional flashback. My mind has been stuck in the why phase which kept me in a loop of suffering. It's been tough but I'm working on switching to support mode instead of analyzing.

Two close friends of mine were in a relationship and were handling it well until it went completely sour. I'm talking lies, half-truths, twitter tirades, vengeful actions, the whole nine. Both of them respected my wishes to remain friends with them both (because if I wasn't involved in the breakup, why must I pick sides--I find it easy to support them both as individuals) but it can get a little frustrating. My homegirl is incredibly honest and has been able to talk through things with me that allow me to support her as a friend. She's been honest about her faults and her pain throughout this process. My homeboy on the other hand? Numbing himself with substances, women, work, whatever--and I'm not judging, breakups are hard. It's just frustrating watching him not sit still in order to actually move forward. BUT he Is figuring it out though, just sloooowly. I know a couple of people he's hurt, and someone he's still hurting, by not addressing his emotions. It'd be a big help for him but I don't want to push him to do what he isn't ready for.

I got more but if I add this to my drafts I'll never post it. I'll follow up with a part two.

[saotome-michi]

Top 10 Manhwa of 2016-17

I used to rarely read manhwa, maybe just one or two a year, but then I discovered Lezhin and Spottoon - online platforms that host Korean webcomics with English translations available. The first few chapters are usually free but after that you have to pay to read, which actually appeals to me because I like being able to support writers and artists. And even if you find the prices unaffordable, reading the free chapters still helps because you’re increasing the view count and their popularity. The only complaint I have is that the quality of the translations can differ greatly between series, especially on Spottoon. Sometimes it’s pretty good and sometimes it’s really bad. 

Anyway, I’ve read so many manhwa this past year that I thought it’d be nice to make a manhwa rec list! Except for a few exceptions, I tried to only recommend series that have a good number of chapters out or that are already completed. These are my personal top 10. Enjoy!

10. Reversi (양극의 소년) by Eun Song

In the year 2016, a never before seen virus decimates 20% of the world population. Moreover, survivors of this virus either transform into man-eating creatures called “worms” or into super-humans with tremendous physical abilities called “heteros”. Over the years, heteros start the ISO, an agency that protects people from worms. Haru, our protagonist, is a young hetero who wants to join the ISO, but it may not be that easy or straightforward…

Once in a while I find a scifi-action comic that manages to capture my interest, despite me being rather tired of the genre as a whole. This manhwa is on this list more for its potential than anything else- there are only 37 chapters out and the story’s still in its beginning stages, but I think there’s a lot of good material that, in the right hands, can make for a really interesting and entertaining story.

Despite the impression the synopsis may give you, the story starts out in a peaceful privileged high school setting and you don’t get to the nerve-wracking parts until around chapter 25. But the beginning achieves its purpose. It sets the scene with its conflicts: the segregation of those infected with the virus and those uninfected, the mixed treatment of heteros, and the still-existing class privilege. It also sets up the main characters; impulsive but sincere Haru and his best friend, level-headed and determined Leo; the other heteros in their school year; and members of the ISO. We don’t know much about them, but again they’re intriguing and the rest can come later. It’ll probably take another 30 chapters or so before we can see whether this manhwa fulfills its potential or not, but take this as a heads up - this one just might be a winner. At the very least, the beginning’s pretty engaging. And with clean art that’s easy on the eyes, it’s definitely no chore to scroll through.

Warning: Blood, death, murder, violence, body horror 

Available on: Lezhin (first 24 chapters are free). Not on scanlation sites yet. 

9. The House Cat (상상고양이) by Kim Kyoung 

(Also known as: The Imaginary Cat, Cat’s Imagination) 

Cat lovers rejoice! Here’s another comic for you to read for your daily dose of cat shenanigans. “The House Cat” looks at Webcomic Artist Jong Hyun and his cat Bok-Gil (Jill in the english translation) - or as Jill would tell you, Cat Jil and her human who she allows to live with her. Like so, the comic presents their different viewpoints of their life together, with Hyun’s viewpoint on the left in red and Jill’s viewpoint on the right in green. The intersection between their viewpoints is cleverly done and will often leave you smiling one way or another. Cat owners will probably find many of their interactions familiar. On the other hand if you’re like me, you’ll start realizing that you are basically Jill and should’ve been born as a house cat instead of as a human. All in all, “The House Cat” is a pleasure to read and certainly not a bad way to pass the time. 

Warning: Alcohol mention, brief depiction of pet abuse and neglect 

Available on : Spottoon (first 4 chapters free). Was adapted into a kdrama called “The Imaginary Cat” 

8. Peak (피크) by Hong Sung-Soo and Lim Gang-Hyuk 

If “mountain rescue manhwa” stirs any interest in you, this may be the manhwa for you. “Peak” centers around Ryu Yeon-Seong, who’s been stationed on Mt. Bukhan to be a Rescue Ranger for his military service, along with four other men. The story follows his experiences as he learns what being a rescue ranger entails.

I initially didn’t have high expectations for this manhwa, but the realistic and suspenseful storytelling ended up impressing me. I always like it when manhwa go into the specifics of the particular subject they’re covering and “Peak” does that extensively - from what’s covered in training exercises to the challenges of navigating throughout the mountain in subpar weather to how to conduct oneself when administering first aid to fatal injuries. And except for a few brief respites, the pace is remarkably fast from start to finish, emulating the break-neck speed the rangers have to move to save lives. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I’m constantly sitting at the edge of my seat when reading this manhwa. The rescue missions themselves are no joke; from an accident in the middle of the pouring rain to a helicopter crash, this manhwa is constantly upping the stakes. 

Personally, the art isn’t my favorite but it excels in two areas: conveying the physical exertion of being a ranger and the harshness of the mountain landscape. And when the story is all about survival, that’s really all that matters. 

Warnings: Blood, fatal injuries, death, murder 

Available on: Spottoon (First 30 chapters are free). 92 Chapters can be found on mangago. 

7. The Sock Monster (양말도깨비) by Manmulsang

(Also known as: Socks Goblin)  

Is it too much if I said “The Sock Monster” would rock your socks off? Ehehe :P

But actually, this is possibly the cutest manhwa I’ve ever read. From the art, which resembles something you’d find in a children’s storybook with its crayon lines and oil pastel backgrounds, to the story itself, a young girl making her way in a wintery town, “The Sock Monster” radiates a quirky fairytale sort of charm. It’s slow to start but when it finds its rhythm, it strolls off, as our plucky protagonist, Park Sujin, learns the ropes at BigFoot Bank, finds the Sock Monster living in her room, and befriends Mr. Lara, her cat-man neighbor whose dream is to explore the deep ocean. Despite its lighthearted tone, the manhwa ends up covering some surprisingly heavy topics from the tension between Big Foots and Humans to animal experimentation (in a world where animals are more like humans). But it does so in a tender sort of way, never losing heart or the hint of wisdom that comes with classical storytelling. 

What the manhwa excels at especially is taking advantage of its fantasy world to sculpt all sorts of interesting plotlines for the characters. There is no limit to the creativity displayed. If children’s books and fairytales appeal to you, then you’ll probably appreciate the charm of “The Sock Monster”. Who knows, it might just become your favorite bedtime read. And you’ll probably end up cooing over how cute the sock monsters are. 

Warning: Child neglect and abuse, animal cruelty, death 

Available on: Spottoon (first 19 chapters are free) 

6. Myojin Tales (묘진전) by Jelly Bean 

A smallpox goddess steals an eye from a celestial god to help her sightless baby. A young boy wonders why his father doesn’t love him. A girl who’s lived a miserable life curses her capturer with her last breath. The celestial god, the father, the capturer - all of these titles refer to the same being: Myojin, a god who has been sentenced to forever live among humans as punishment for his crimes, forbidden to ever return to his former post as a zodiac deity. This is a compilation of the stories surrounding him and the people whose lives he’s touched. 

This manhwa caught my attention with its art alone. Each panel is meticulously rendered in a style resembling traditional ink paintings, fitting for a story drawn from Korean mythology. Although the style is usually semi-realistic, like the panel above, when it comes to frightening and visceral scenes it leans towards abstraction. There is one particular chapter near the beginning that I could not read with the lights turned off. However, the story itself is also fascinating and from beginning to end, it reads like a folktale told from centuries ago. 

Let’s get this out of the way - Myojin is not a likable person in any aspect really. But he, like everyone else, is both victim and perpetrator of unfair systems, and has the capability for both good and evil. Therein itself lies the core of this manhwa and “Myojin Tales” is ultimately a story of recognition and redemption, where there is no moral absolutes, but only the choices one makes in certain circumstances. If you’re a fan of mangas like Mushishi, this could be your next favorite. 

Warning: child neglect, abuse, body horror, blood, murder, death 

Available on: Spottoon. Normally only the first 10 chapters are free, but this week (March 18, 2017) the first 17 are all free! 

5. Hwaja (화자) by Hong Jac-Ga 

At 9 years old, Ryu explores “the Haunted House” in his neighborhood and meets Hwaja, a girl who looks a few years older than him. Hwaja never leaves the haunted house, except to sit on the rooftop, and spends most of her time drawing. Visitors, she says, have to bring her something, like food. Eventually, Ryu introduces his best friend Jay to Hwaja. She doesn’t seem like a ghost, but there is something is strange about her and the house… 

At 19 years old, Ryu, who moved away and hasn’t been in the neighborhood for years, is struck with the news of Jay’s death. His last text message from him reads, “Don’t ever come back.” But Ryu does come back and sees Hwaja again… 

As you can infer from the synopsis, there’s a 10 year time skip in the manhwa. Personally I didn’t find myself that interested in “Hwaja” until after the time skip (in Ch. 8), where the art style changes and things get a lot more intriguing. The art goes from crisp line-art colored in bright blues and greens to blocks of color in murky purples, browns, and blues, conveying the suspicion and suspense as Jay learns more and more about the truth behind Hwaja’s existence. The story ended up going places that I didn’t expect it to go and the ending was surprisingly heartfelt and touching. If you like ghost stories or just stories about the interaction between the supernatural and humans, give “Hwaja” a go. 

Warning: Violence, child abuse, sexual abuse, rape, murder, kidnapping, death 

Available on: Tapastic (Only the prologue is free). It can be found complete on scanlation sites on mangago. But if you end up liking it, support the author! 

4. Hongdo (홍도) by snowy owl 

In a world of shamans, gods, ghosts and other mystical creatures, the illegitimate son of a prominent general, Hong-do Lee grows up to be a powerful exorcist. When he decides to abandon his job, he becomes the target of bounty hunters and stumbles upon a plot that threatens his life and the fate of the world.

So begins Hongdo, a swashbuckling fantasy adventure that has gorgeous art and gives me Fullmetal Alchemist vibes if only because Hong-do is incredibly similar to Edward Elric, minus the insecurities about his height. That’s not to say that Hong-do is an Edward copy; he’s clearly his own unique character, but the style of humor is similar and the situations he gets into resembles the beginning of FMA, where Ed and Alphonse traveled around Amestris looking for strange happenings possibly caused by a Philosopher’s Stone- only in Hong-do’s case, he’s looking for a mysterious man named Crow. What for? Well, you have to read it to find out. 

But although elements of the story are reminiscent of FMA, the exorcist practices and the setting that make up the backbone of the story is clearly based on Ancient Korean and Chinese mythology and history. Architecture, clothing, the gods and spirits, all are richly and beautifully illustrated. I have at least a dozen screenshots saved in my phone and my current iphone lock screen is a panel from Hongdo. The worldbuilding is fascinating to say the least and the story just gets more and more interesting as you go along. In short, don’t miss this gem of a manhwa. 

Warning: Violence, murder, some body horror-ish stuff 

Available on: Spottoon (first 9 chapters are free). Chapter 1-34 are on mangapark. 

3. Dark Heaven (다크 헤븐) by JUNS 

In the US, same-sex marriage has been legalized but racist and homophobic hate crimes still regularly occur. Connor is Korean-American, and together with his friend and lover Simon, they have a band called “Dark Heaven”. But things can’t stay this good forever. Fast-forward to the future and the band has split up. Simon is pursuing a solo career and Connor’s working as a writer in a news agency. What went wrong and can they be together again? 

This manhwa pushes all of my buttons, so it’s no surprise that it’s on this list even though I’m only 15 chapters in. I mean, come on, a Korean-American protagonist? Check. Angsty Band Premise? Check. True love between two boys who care about each other so much, they find life lonely without having the other by their side? Check. And to top all of that, really good art? Check. Check. Check.

I think what’s so refreshing about this manhwa is that it looks at racism and homophobia and actually does a good job going about it. When Connor finds himself in love with Simon, he not only faces opposition from the outside, but also from the inside. Internalized racism and homophobia can be a bitch and the author does a good job depicting that with Connor’s struggles. And the love that Connor and Simon have for each other is just so touching, you can only fervently hope that they find their way back to each other again.  

Warning: Homophobia, racism, racist and homophobic slurs, hate crimes, prostitution, child abuse, violence 

Available on: Lezhin (first chapter is free). Scanlation sites only have up to chapter 5-6 I think. 

2. Annarasumanara (안나라수마나라) by Ha Il-Kwon

Yoon Ah-ee struggles to keep her and her little sister fed, clothed, and sheltered, but that’s easier said than done, especially with her father’s debts weighing down on her shoulders. Her only hope is to keep her grades up so that she can go to a good college and then get a good job and become a good adult. But when she meets a mysterious magician in the abandoned amusement park, she’s reminded of her childhood dream to learn magic… 

This has been on my “to read” list for years, but I’ve finally read it and I can only hit myself on the head for not reading it sooner. Annarasumanara is a story for those who have had that moment when, verging at the brink of adulthood, you’ve wondered “what is happiness”? Will going on this road that everyone has predetermined for me, “study hard, go to a good college, get a good job,” make me happy? 

What happens if that’s not what I want? 

The art here is unique to say the least. The author goes for a mixed media approach of combining drawings with photographs, which is not uncommon in Korean webcomics. What is uncommon is for it to be done well, creating stark, unforgettable imagery that, at times, blurs the lines between reality and construed reality. Which is exactly what this manhwa needs; after all it’s a story about finding real magic in what seems like a miserable reality. 

Warning: Suicide Attempt, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Blood

Available on: Line Webtoon (All chapters are free!)

 1. Vengeance (벤전스) by Aji

Have you ever really wanted a noir mystery about a female police detective trying to solve the case of her girlfriend’s murder? I did, I just didn’t know that I did until I started reading this and then I thanked the gods above for delivering my unconscious wishes.  

Hyun Seol-ah is an experienced police officer who’s known for her cool head and rational approach in dangerous situations - but all that cool headedness goes flying out the window when she arrives at a murder scene and realizes that the victim is her girlfriend, Hwan Hara. From then on, she is focused on only one thing: finding the monster who killed her and then exacting revenge.

I know what you’re thinking… another sad lesbian story? Yes, it’s sad, but the relationship between Seol-ah and Hara is depicted so profoundly, you can feel how much Seol-ah loved Hara and how much Hara loved her in return. As Seol-ah chases down the murderer, we see flashback after flashback of their relationships, from the fights to the cuddles to the declarations of love. What makes this even more heartbreaking is that their relationship was a secret, and so Seol-ah must solve Hara’s murder while hiding that they were lovers.

But also, the art is fantastic. I could go on and on about it, but I think the panel above speaks for itself. Solid blocks of color used to great dramatic effect that mimics the atmosphere of noir films. Seriously, do not let this pass you by.

Warning: Murder, blood, body horror, homophobia

Available at: Lezhin (first chapter is free). You can also read the whole thing on mangago and then buy some chapters later on Lezhin to support the author. 

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

8x17 “Goodbye Stranger” “Hand it to me and I’ll take it to Heaven.”

I always loved this shot within the entire scene, because imo it through the negative space (major recurring theme and stylistic device on SPN) it is drawn attention to the distance that is existing between them here due to Naomi’s control. Plus: The artifact on the table - likely also something to do with Heaven - is really so conveninetly placed directly between Dean and Castiel here capturing pretty well how Heaven is trying to come between the Winchester and Castiel time and again, trying to pull them apart.

[enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers]

mmmmm ramble time

i cant write rn because life is kicking me arse so i’m just gonna list my favourite (and very specific) ““tropes”” and hope that my future self will write them once im better

- villain whumpee who was rescued by a mind reader hero and villain thinks in thoughts. messy and delirious thoughts. villain also may have been pining for hero for a Loooong time (and yet they have no idea about the mind reading thing)

- villain whumpee has managed to escape but end up in the care of a very reluctant hero caretaker because unwilling caretakers are my fave,,, its whump with extras. you may feel safe but oh boy just wait until the person who is caring for you is even worse than the one who hurt you,, ohoho,,

- injured villain who is not used to affection and love and a hero who’s literally the sweetest person on earth showing them what it feels like to be cared for (crewe your writing really likes to pull at my heartstrings oh and also im planning on making a big list of writers who i adore, i hope you all will find a few new faces and explore their stories)

- MEDICAL WHUMP yes oh man i have one sitting in my drafts. the hero team patching up an injured and betrayed villain.

- literally anything with injured/whumpee villains, thats my shit

- dont get me wrong, injured heroes are good as well but seeing a big bad villain curled up in pain and bleeding in a dark alley surrounded by trash??? the big bad villain who once commanded hundreds of henchmen now only having the energy to whimper quietly?? Y E S P L E A S E

- not a trope but i love it when writers include little sound details like small whines and whimpers and moans of pain/discomfort. like hell yeah, make some sounds little man! let your cute nemesis know just how much help you really need without saying a word

- Holding Back is another good one, when a strong person cant bear to let others see them at their lowest. refusing to open up to people about their problems and holding back tears so they wont become a burden on others. Such a good trope

i will expand this later when my head emptyn’t

[lilyharvord]

I saw another anon on king mavens page ask how Cal would react if mare died and they didn’t wanna answer bcuz it’ll make them go into a depressive state. So if u don’t mind how do YOU think Cal would react if Mare died. If u don’t wanna write this u don’t hv too tho

I too saw annie's response, and while it makes me super sad to think about as well.... I've thought about it... I may have started writing a fic about it once (it was like once chapter), and I had an idea. So I'll give you my branched ideas. They're loooong so I have put them under the read more.

idea 1: Mare dies before they are married, before anything.

It's horrific. People are shocked... the little lightning girl? Dead? Impossible. Cal doesn't immediately hear about it, he's so busy he's doesn't know something's happened until he walks into a room and everyone goes quiet and slowly looks at him like he might collapse right then and there. He finds out because Farley pulls him aside. She takes him away from everyone to a quiet little garden with a fountain and tells him what happened. When he hears, he just sort of gives her this confused look, like HE doesn't understand, doesn't believe. Then he sort of sinks down onto one of the benches and just sits there. Doesn't move, doesn't even seem to be breathing. Farley thinks he'll explode in a ball of heat and rage and pain, but instead he just gets really really quiet, and really cold. The air around her gets so cold her breath fogs in front of her. He asks her to leave him alone and she does. He sort of draws into himself after that, doesn't really speak to anyone, spends a lot of time running and sitting at his desk and staring out the window. He attends the funeral but is quiet the whole time, he only speaks to the Barrows and even then, there isn't much to say that wouldn't hurt either party. After that he BURIES himself in his work. He gets so good at it that one day he looks up and ten years have passed. He's still got the stack of letters they wrote to each other, and he even has the letter he had been drafting to send to her on the front where he lost her. It ends with the phrase: I miss you. And god does that ring true. He miss her like a limb he lost. It feels like a part of him was torn away, just like with Maven, just like with his father, just like with Nanabel when she passed a few years back, just like the hole his mother left without him even knowing it was there. He visits her grave that year, just sort of sits under the little tree they planted, looks out at the mountains as the sun sets behind him, and talks to her like he does with Maven, tells her about everything that's happening. After a while, he just falls quiet and sits there, digging his hand into the grass and dirt right above the grave, like he can dig down to her, like it's her skin and he can still feel it's warmth. He swallow really heavily and then says: I never met anyone else that made me feel the way you did... I don't think I ever will. You were it. You were going to be it. And then he gets up and leaves. He runs into Gisa down in the Ascendent, they grab coffee at what was once Mare's favorite coffee shop, now it's Gisa's. They talk about everything, never mentioning Mare. Gisa only asks once if he's seen anyone, and he just shakes his head, and she gives him a tiny smile and says: she wouldn't have minded... well if a random bolt of lightning came from the heaven and struck you, then I guess you would know she minded. They laugh about that, and then he leaves cause he has an early flight home. When he gets back, he puts the letters in a box and then puts that box in a drawer. He never sees anyone else though. Doesn't even really fool around with anyone either. He tries once, and the whole time he just thinks about her, thinks about all the what if's and could be's. He apologizes profusely to the girl and says that it's not going to work. Something in her understands, some weird warmth that she gets that makes her pull him into an extra tight hug before she leaves from his little apartment in Archeon. He doesn't mind being alone as much, he has his friends and a strange little belief/hope that someday, he will see Mare again. And when he does he is going to pull her into the tightest hug and never, ever let go again.

idea 2: Mare dies after they are married and have at least 1 child

This one hurts far more. He knows she's on missions, and they made a pact to never be on missions together so that if the unthinkable happens and one of them does die, Coriane will have the other at least. Its a god awful early hour of the morning when there is knock on the door. Coriane is sleeping in his and Mare's bed, she had a nightmare and immediately came for comforting snuggles. He thinks he's dreaming when the knock comes again, a little more instant this time. He gets up, and Coriane sleepily trails after him, curious as a cat always. When he answers the door, he picks her up and is still sort of half asleep. When he sees the young soldier standing on the porch in uniform and the most pained look on his face, he is suddenly wide awake. The soldier reaches up and removes his hat before pulling out an envelope with the official Montfort seal on it. He holds it out and quietly says, "I'm sorry."

When Cal takes it, he worries that his hand is shaking, but it is perfectly still, Coriane is falling asleep on his shoulder, not even aware of the ramification of what this little envelope means. And he just sort of looks up at the man and asks, "Do the Barrows know?" The man blinks before saying, "Protocol dictates immediate family are informed first... spouses are immediate family along with children. We leave it to them to inform the rest...I'm sorry again sir." Then he gives a little clean military salute and leaves. Cal stands there for a long time looking at empty space, wondering what comes next, what he is even supposed to do. Coriane answers for him: by lightly tapping his cheek and whispering that she's cold. He closes the door, and sets the letter on the little table by the door. There are already four other letters there. One, an invitation to Farley's wedding to Cordelia at the end of the month, and another is a letter from Julian addressed to all of them, most likely about his trip with Sara to see the land north of Montfort. But there is her name in beautiful script on both envelopes. There is her favorite jacket hanging on the peg she always hangs it on. There is the book she left on the table, chaptered at the exact part she was on. There is her favorite mug in the sink because Coriane asked to drink her milk from it last night. She is everywhere in the house, and yet that letter means she will never be in it again. Those were her things. They not longer are. He carries Coriane up the stairs and puts her back in their his bed and then lays next to her, watching her chest rise and fall as she sleeps, a tiny smile creeping to her lips as she dreams, completely and blissfully unaware of how her life has fundamentally changed now. Then he rolls and stares at the ceiling, but the tears come and they don't stop as they fall silently. He gets up and showers at dawn--he didn't sleep-- and cries a little more there. He has to crouch down under the scalding water and bite down on his knuckle to keep from sobbing out loud and waking Cori. It's pitiful, and he knows it. She would be furious with him for not being honest about how he feels and trying to hide it like its some ugly thing. But it feels ugly, a twisted ugly thing in his chest that is screaming and clawing at his insides. He stands, turns the shower off, steps out, shaves, does his morning routine, and then wakes Coriane and gets her ready. She's still sleepy, doesn't understand, asks him when mommy is coming home, when she will be back so they can go to the market and get ice cream. He says they'll go today, but his voice shakes, even as he tries to hide it. Then he takes her to the Barrows, tells Ruth and Daniel to gather all of them together. When they are all sitting before him in the living room, packing it to the brim, he takes out the letter and reads it. There is a horrible silence when he finishes and folds it before putting it back in the envelope. Ruth slowly pulls Coriane toward her and then lifts her into her lap and hugs her so tightly Cori actually whines about it for a second before she sees the look on Cal's face. They all sit in the kitchen after that and Ruth makes tea and she makes hot chocolate for the kids and gives Coriane an extra 4 marshmallows. The kids leave to go play and the adults sit and discuss the logistics, where is the will, was the a will? Do they have to adhere to anything if there isn't one? Would she want to... to be buried on Tuck with Shade? The will would probably say. Should they do that if there isn't one? Ruth offers to take care of Coriane while Cal deals with everything, settling paperwork, etc. etc. Then everyone kinda starts talking about everything again, and he just sits in silence and stares at this knot on the table that Mare pointed out to him because she said it looked like a turtle on its back. He traces it a few times, just sort of thinking about that moment and all the other times they would be in this kitchen doing dishes after family gatherings etc. Farley watches him from across the table

before getting up and nodding for him to follow her outside. Everyone pretty much doesn't notice them leave, or they pretend not to notice. They sit outside on the back porch in silence, just the two of them. After a little bit, it starts to snow. The first snow of the year. Farley holds her hand out to catch the flakes and says quietly: "I hate that it doesn't rain when these things happen. It always feels like it should be raining." He nods silently in agreement, and then she sets her hand on his shoulder, and he bends forward, letting the weight of it drop his head into his hand. He doesn't cry again, he honestly doesn't understand why he feels nothing now, just emptiness, and numbness from the tips of his fingers all the way to the tips of his toes. Even with Maven he didn't feel this way. He felt something then, something biting and hot like a pan that he touched when it just came off the stove. They sit like that for a long time before Coriane comes outside, and slips underneath his arm to snuggle against him. Farley gets up and leaves then, sensing she's said her peace and he understands she's there if he needs her. He holds Coriane close when the back door closes, and she whispers quietly to him, "Mommy's not coming home, is she?" and he just squeezes her once in answer. She frowns and stares out at the snow for a second and then turns around to face him and cups his cheeks in her little hands like she had seen Mare do a hundred times when Cal was in the middle of an especially hard day. She looks at him with a very serious expression for a child and he can see Mare in her when she does that, in the crease of her brows and the slight squint in her eyes. In the hint of chocolate brown in the curls of her hair. She will be furiously beautiful like her mother, and he had a feeling someday she will break a man's heart like his is breaking now. She looks at him for a good little bit and then says, "don't worry, I will take care of you." And he laughs, knowing that Mare always said the same thing. He pulls her close again and whispers with a thick voice, "it's my job to take care of you. But it's just us now... we have to take care of each other."

The funeral is in the spring. Cal pushed it off. Mare hated the winter. Even though she had happier memories of it now, her childhood and the painful clenching of her empty belly were like a permanent stain on the season. He would not bury her in that time. When the snow thaws and the ground melts, they release her ashes on a hill and leave stone for her on a hill under a tree, with a view of the mountains. There is a long line of epithet underneath her name: beloved daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother. Staring at it, Cal wonders if she knows just how important she had become. If she knew that she wasn't just a captain, or a figurehead that brought a centuries old regime to its knees. Everyone leaves after, the Barrows going last, but Cal and Coriane stay. Cal just sitting in the grass next to the grave, the wind in his hair while he watches the mountains for a little while. Coriane sits on the grave, probably not the nicest thing to do, but she does, and traces Mare's name over and over again on the stone with her little finger. "Mommy had a long name." She says as she traces the four names on the stone. Cal hesitated to put his name on there with hers, but he adopted the Barrow name as much as Mare took the Calore one when they married. And in the very, very short will she had drafted, that he almost didn't read because reading it made everything real, she asked that he put both their names on it (but to put his name before hers and she even made a little quip at him in the will about it which made him laugh, even as it made him cry). He glances at Cori after she says that and nods. She then crawls into his lap and they sit watching the mountains before Coriane says, "Uncle Julian says that when people die, they become the dirt that feeds the trees and the grass... do you think mommy is happy to be tree food?" He laughs and hugs her really close before saying, "She's not tree food. That dust we let go of today was mommy. She's on the winds now, traveling everywhere."

He does not remarry, no matter how many years pass, and how many women try to infer that it might be for the best if Coriane had mother in her life. He thinks its a stupid notion that he can't raise his own child on his own. And its hard, god is it hard. But he does it. He makes Coriane Barrow Calore into a women that Mare Molly Calore Barrow would have been very proud of. And he holds onto the notion that someday, when he dies, and they scatter his ashes, that his will find Mare's and they'll be together again that way.

[be-dazzled]

88 and Gruvia if you're still doing the prompts pls

88. “Don’t panic but I think we might have accidentally gotten married…”Rating: M for sensitive language and content

Juvia woke up utterly confused. She didn’t understand her body. The headache was so severe she thought she got hit by Thor’s hammer. Maybe, she did get hit by Thor’s magical hammer. She had no memory of what happened the night before. If Juvia tried to remember, her head felt like an egg about to crack open. With the pain she was suffering, Juvia preferred that too and wished that her head would just split into two.

Oh, the throbbing was killing her.

Her mouth tasted weird too. It was as if she boiled some dirty socks unwashed for almost a month of use and sipped the dirty sock soup. Juvia forced her eyes to open. Apparently, she could still do that at least. A low groan forced itself out of her mouth when she tried – and failed – to prop her elbows and help herself up. Juvia expelled a frustrated breath and decided it would be better if she turned to her side instead. But that caused somewhere else to throb.

Weird.

The heavy drapes were drawn across what she remembered to be a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the iconic Caesars Palace fountains. Good, she was still in her suite. Juvia hoped she didn’t do anything weird or funny last night.

Fragments of last night flashed before her eyes. She saw a picture of a strange woman dancing atop a pool table waving some replica of Thor’s hammer. Looking closely into the memory, Juvia realized the stranger looked exactly like her, except that the dancing woman’s clothes were kind of disheveled. The resemblance was uncanny. Maybe, because the wild woman dancing atop one of the pool tables was her – Juvia Lockser.

Hands flew to cover her mouth. It definitely was her! And suddenly she remembered taking her top off too, in front of so many people. Did she sign up as a stripper or something? Juvia prayed it was just her brain toying with her to teach her a lesson.

This isn’t you, Juvia Lockser.

She could hear a voice at the back of her mind reprimanding her.

You are not some kind of a lose woman.

And now she was talking to her own brain but she, the brain, was right. Juvia was a far cry from that shameless woman waving her lace bra like a flag. She got her shit together, stripper Juvia obviously did not. But between the two of them, stripper Juvia seemed happier – real Juvia wasn’t.

The taste of acid began in the pit of her stomach. The harsh reality was reminding her why she decided to fly off to Las Vegas and leave everything and everyone behind.

Bora. That son of a bitch.

But she wasn’t going to think about that jerk. She was in Las freaking Vegas and she seemed to have enjoyed herself last night. It was the only explanation why it felt like her body was thrown around the room. Another head-cracking throb hit her head. She decided to sleep it off. Thinking and remembering wouldn’t do her any good. If she didn’t force herself, Juvia knew she was going to remember the entirety of the night. She just wasn’t sure if she wanted to face that reality. So, Juvia lied back to bed, only to sit right back up when she felt some movement beside her.

The horror of the possibility rounded her blue eyes. She slowly turned to her side where she felt the continuous stirring. Juvia shuddered the moment it registered to her what – or who – made the stirring: a man. A warm flesh of a man was sleeping beside Juvia and he had his bare back on her.

Juvia became suddenly aware of that other part of her body where the throbbing was coming from. Somewhere down south. Juvia expelled a scandalized shriek.

“Hey, can you quiet down a little?”

The mystery man turned to her and Juvia didn’t care how good-looking he was. She didn’t care how chiseled his features were. That light stubble under his chin. That jaw that every male model would die for. That red swollen lips that was just begging to be worshiped. And that black bed hair. Oh god.

And she didn’t absolutely care that the white sheet fell down his lower abdomen, exposing some tanned skin and that good ol’ happy trail. She shook her head to get rid of the tempting thoughts. There was a more urgent issue on hand.

Like…

“Who the hell are you?!”

With her tone, it sounded more like a sentence rather than a question.

One corner of the stranger’s beautiful, beautiful mouth pulled up in a smug.

“Hey, don’t tell me you already forgot.” The stranger leaned closer, invading her space more than what she would allow a stranger. His dark blue eyes bored through her – teasing and taunting, filled with heat that was turning the pain in her core into something else. Something tingly. “You kept screaming it the whole night.” Then he continued, mimicking how she ‘screamed’ his name. “Ooh, Gray. Mm. That’s it Gray. Yes, Gray, there. Don’t stop, Gray. Oh G–”

Before this ‘Gray’ could get to that part which Juvia now vividly remembered, the mortified bluenette let out another ear-splitting scream. Not the kind of screaming the stranger was talking about. This wasn’t music to the ears.

“For such a small woman, you have a lot of that going on, don’t you?”

The glint in his eyes told Juvia that Gray was the kind of man whom no one ever said no to, who always got his way: proud and confident. Those kind of men scared Juvia. She slowly moved away, wanting to put safe distance between her and the stranger. Juvia was so occupied at wanting to get away from the raven-haired stranger that she didn’t notice that she was already backing away at the very edge of the bed.

“Hey!”

For a man with an ugly hangover, Gray’s reflexes were like that of an athlete. He pulled Juvia at the very last minute before the woman fell off the bed.

Juvia wasn’t sure if she should be thankful because apparently she was bare naked under those sheets and so was Gray. And she found her very naked breasts slapped against his hard chest. The heat that she was fighting exploded at the contact.

So, she did the most logical thing to do and pushed poor Gray stumbling off the bed.

“Aw!” he cried. A shock of black hair popped out of the edge of the mattress. “Woman! You are very violent.” Gray nursed the back of his head that earlier made contact on the carpeted floor. But the wince was quickly replaced by a lopsided smile. “I like it.”

“Get out!”

Juvia jumped off the bed, ignoring her body screaming pain, and backed away from the stranger as far as possible. She only stopped when the back of her thighs hit the bedside table. She tightened her hold on the white sheet wrapped around her body.

“Hey, you’re the one who invited me up here.”

Juvia grabbed the lamp and threatened Gray with it.

“Geez, you react like this now. Wait ‘til you remember every detail.” he said, raising one teasing brow.

There seemed to be a very dark and exhilarating story behind his grin. But that wasn’t the most exciting part of Gray because when he stood to his full height, Juvia’s eyes drifted down that part she shouldn’t be looking at, that part that made her heart tremble. Juvia immediately tore her scandalized eyes away from that part, but not without a second glance.

He was still hard.

She threw the pillow at him which he easily caught. Next was the lamp, which Gray luckily dodged. Then, everything that Juvia’s free hand could grab.

Gray stepped back, shouting at the crazy woman who was throwing things at him. He raised his hand to try to stop the woman and talk some sense into her. Until, a slim light hit the gold band around one of his fingers.

“Woman, wait!”

Juvia was trying to haul the bedside table, giving him some time to tell her off.

“Don’t panic… but I think we might have accidentally gotten married.”

Gray raised and showed his ring finger wrapped with the gold band. Suddenly, Juvia felt something cold on her finger. She checked her hand, praying to the gods of Las Vegas and that Elvis impersonator she saw in her memory that Gray was wrong.

He wasn’t.

The band on her ring finger was very and awfully identical with Gray’s.

“I. WILL. KILL. YOU.”

You know that thing that people say explains how a thin, scrawny person could carry a refrigerator double his size during a fire? Gray could only guess but those people were right. It was the only explanation as to why there was a shattered furniture next to him which came from the slender woman at the opposite end of the room.

Gray was realizing it only now but his new wife was a very violent person. He should tell his assistant to get him some life insurance.

…

Writer’s Corner: I’m stuck with #SIYC so I’ll try finishing requests here on tumblr. Man, the draft for this has been sitting on my desk for a very loooong time. But since we guys have some time in our hands for now, we’ll try to get things done. I hope I get around this writer’s block and continue with our favorite Bunhead and Hoopster.

AND I do smell some new modern AU fanfic coming on. 

[x-ximenas]

Midnight (Pt.1)

Prompt: Midnight - 5SOS. Future parts are linked to other songs so...

Pairing: Female!Reader/Roger Taylor

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, mentions of sex (I don’t go in full detail, but there are big innuendos)  and my terrible grammar and punctuation remember English’s not my first language.

Word Count: 3,291 words

A/N: This has been on my drafts for a loooong while, but I never had the guts to post it, nor the time to do something about it, so I’m a little rusty -as mentioned in my Nikki Sixx bit- but I’m trying.  Also, if you liked this bit, I’d love to hear some comments! If you’d like to be added to a taglist for upcoming parts comment, dm me, ask me… just communicate with me!

A/N pt.2: Like most of the time, I took a few literary liberties, there are some movie things, there’s some real stuff, so... yeah.

A/N pt.3: If you’re looking to read some Brian stuff, I have a multipart story (pt. 1, pt. 2) -sadly not finished- but if you read it and like it I’ll do my best to do something about it.

// Part 2 //

———————————————————————————————————–

Smile, shake hands, leave.

She crossed one leg over the other just to uncross them again and cross them once more. She repeated this process a couple of times before settling with crossing her legs by the ankles. Now, she started tapping her fingers in a rhythm that sounded familiar, but she couldn’t quite make out so she stopped to look down at her hands that were resting over her lap, rings adorning almost every finger, heaving she started to play with the one that was on her index.

“Everything’s alright, miss?” asked the kind taxi driver who had been watching her fidget through the rearview mirror.

“Yes, thanks.” She quickly replied, too quickly.

“You got a date?” The driver inquired.

“No.”

“Oh, I thought, considering your nervousness.” He added.

“Oh, no, I’m just… I don’t know, having second thoughts, maybe I-”

“Do you want me to drop you back from where I picked you up?” He asked.

“No, no, no, I’m fine, thanks though.” She smiled.

“No problems, miss.”

She sighed, leaning back on the cab’s leather backseat, folding her arms one over the other as she stared out the window. Like she just told the driver, Y/N was -indeed- having second thoughts, completely regretting telling her friends a thing as she was now forced to actually go to the pub where he was performing. She should’ve turned down his offer right away, he was too drunk and too tired to even know what he was saying:

“Come to my next show, love, you’ll have fun.” He tried to persuade her. She almost didn’t catch what he had said from how slurred the words were, but in the end, she did.

“What?” Was all she managed to say, but he had already fallen asleep, he didn’t hear a thing.

“Miss?” The driver said.

“Yes?” Y/N answered, snapping out of her daydream.

“We’re already here, miss.”

“Oh, thanks. How much is it for the drive?” she asked, rummaging through her purse.

“5 pounds, miss.” He answered.

“Here you go -she handed him the money-, thanks!” She told him, climbing off the car.

Smile, shake hands, leave.

She smoothed out her off-the-shoulders red top and pulled down the ends of her high-waisted shorts that had ridden up when she was sitting down. With a mumble of a curse she walked into the pub, the smell of cigarettes and booze hitting her immediately, she straightened her shoulders and tried to stand on her tiptoes and find her friends but the first thing she caught sight of was a certain blond getting friendly with some random brunette, averting her eyes she kept on looking until she found the small group sitting on a booth.

“Y/N! For a moment I thought you might have bailed on us” Kat mocked with a smirk.

“I couldn’t, I was responsible for this gathering after all” Y/N mumbled with a tight smile.

“Wow, what got your knickers in a twist” Donna practically yelled, hitting Y/N on the arm.

“Nothing, I just didn’t feel like coming after all” Y/N mumbled annoyed.

“But you sounded so excited when you told us earlier this morning, you said they’re really good!” Kat questioned slightly surprised.

“Yeah, I just- I don’t know…” Y/N mumbled once more, looking into the distance, her eyes fixed on the blond man, who was getting dangerously close to the brunette’s face just to pull away with a satisfied grin.

“I’m going for a drink” Y/N told her friends, leaving them dumbfounded.

Smile, shake hands, leave.

Y/N tried to squeeze herself between spaces, not minding to excuse herself when she walked in the middle of someone’s conversation, all that she needed at the moment was a drink, straight -no soda water, nothing- just a straight shot of whatever she can get her hands on.

Suddenly she bumped into someone, she was about to tell them off but she stayed quiet when she saw who it was:

“Roger?” she swallowed thickly.

He didn’t even bother on answering, he just kept on walking towards the side of the stage, the guitarist next to him, Brian she recalled from their conversations

“Don’t be rude, Rog.” Brian said, but he didn’t manage to stop Roger from walking. “Sorry.” He mouthed, Y/N shrugged.

“What can I get you, love?” Ben, the bartender asked Y/N, she already knew the man, she vented to him every once in a while.

“Two shots of whatever.” Y/N replied, Ben just stared at her with worry.

“Two shots of whatever it is then.” He said, pulling out two shot glasses, filling them with vodka and as soon as he was done with his job Y/N downed them in a single breath before slapping a bill on the bar.

“Thanks, now can you give me my usual, please?” She asked.

“Bad day?” Ben asked her, preparing her drink.

“Not really, the early morning was great, but now not so great, truth be told. I always get down with the same shit, you know?” Ben just hummed in response, putting her drink in front of her, and before she could pay he shook his head, declining the money.

“It’s on the house, you need it, love.” He winked and she smiled, returning to the booth where her friends were sitting.

“Hey, there you are! We thought you might have left, we wouldn’t have blamed you, love.” Kat stated, Y/N shrugged her off.

“I’ll be fine, thanks for worrying, girls.” Y/N told them, grabbing both girls’ hands. The three girls kept chatting, sharing laughs and staring at both girls and boys, making Donna noticeably flustered.

All that Roger could do was stare from a distance with a scowl and a pout, his arms crossed over his chest not really paying mind to what Brian was telling him, his focus on Y/N who even from where he was standing could see that behind those laughs and giggles she was off. What a prick.

“Roger! What’s wrong with you tonight? First the incident with the girl back there and now you’re not even listening to me.” Brian threw his arms upwards in exasperation as he let out a huff.

“Wait for me here.” Roger stated.

“Wh-What?”

Roger was decided to talk to Y/N, apologise for being a shithead, and almost as if she felt his gaze, their eyes met. Y/N furrowed her brows, one eyebrow being considerably higher than the other in inquiry, her smile died and her laughter did as well, and even in the pub’s shitty light he could tell that her eyes had a mix of confusion and anger that no matter how hard she tried to push down, she wasn’t able to keep it there.

“I’ll be right back” Y/N mumbled, never taking her eyes off of him, Kat and Donna shared glances before nodding in acknowledgement.

Just like before, Y/N made her way through the mass of bodies in an attempt to get to something, this time being Roger and not alcohol. Meanwhile, Roger was doing the same, but unlike Y/N he wasn’t angry nor in a bad mood to not say excuse me and sorry every once in a while, making him slower in the task of meeting Y/N in the middle. Suddenly he realised that Y/N had already reached his place and before he could even open his mouth to even say anything Y/N beat him to it:

“What?” She’s annoyed, he thought, fuck.

“I –he paused in contemplation– I was wondering what were you doing here, ‘s all” That’s the way to go, Rog, he mentally reprimanded himself.

“You- I- Fuck- You don’t remember, do you?” Y/N sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I should’ve known better than to come, I’ll leave, see you later tonight, unless you leave with the brunette then don’t bother on coming to my place.” Y/N rambled, less annoyed, now she felt hurt and stupid, indeed she should have known better.

Y/N didn’t even let Roger answer her question –not like she needed an answer–, she just walked away, holding herself, her back no longer straightened as it was when she got there to confront him, her body posture screamt insecurity.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She closed her flat’s door with a sad sigh, she ran one hand through her hair out of habit as the other turned the lights on. She felt so stupid for believing even for just one moment that Roger actually could remember what he had told her that same day many hours ago but more than that, she felt stupid for actually going and getting excited over it. They might see each other every other night, but they’ve never seen each other so publicly, around their friends; their meeting place was her place, especially because Y/N was too afraid to have the guts to go to his flat just to find another girl on her side of the bed.

Every time that she felt that she got considerably closer to him he seemed to push her away or to not recall or mean what he said less than 24 hours before. The worst part of it all is that she didn’t mind the grey area she was in, she was so in love with the thought of him –no, with him– that she was happy with the few things that he gave her, with the reassuring words, with the slurred words before he fell asleep; that was enough for her, but she desired more, she wanted to wake up with him still by her side, to have him around when the light was provided by the sun and not the stars and moon. But she took what little she could get, the chances he unconsciously gave her, like tonight. Except tonight was a mess and she wished that it never happened.

She left the pub just before their first set ended, wanting to listen and enjoy the music, to feel it pumping through her veins, to catch on Freddie’s excitement; so she did, she stayed but not long enough so that Roger could catch her before she left, before he could convince her to stay up for him. But apparently that wasn’t enough, because a knock on her front door made her jump and the man standing on the other side was the last person she wanted to see but also the person she needed beside her the most.

“Roger, wha-” Y/N tried to say, but her sentence was cut short by Roger grabbing her face and brushing his lips against hers, trying to test the waters before truly diving into a kiss.

Y/N was flabbergasted, for a moment she wasn’t sure of what she had to do, but in the end she caved in, her eyes fluttered close and her hands flew to the neck of his open shirt, pulling him closer to her, his hands moving from her face to the small of her back one travelling down further to grab her ass. That slow movement made Y/N gasp, Roger smirked triumphantly at her reaction, taking the opportunity given he decided to nudge her tongue with his, said action was received gratefully by Y/N, who started to move them inside the flat instead of the doorway. Roger kicked the door close and now that he was sure he was welcomed into her place he broke off the kiss.

Y/N’s face radiated heat, and if he could press his head to her chest he could be able to listen to the accelerated beat of her heart, her lips were slightly ajar and her eyes were still closed, almost savouring the moment for a few more seconds.

“Y/N, I-” Roger started, but he was cut off by Y/N’s lips.

“Please don’t say a thing.” She mumbled against his lips as her hands were messily working on his shirt’s buttons.

“Y/N! –Roger abruptly pulled apart– I’m trying to apologise”.

“Oh, go ahead then” Y/N replied, her hand instantly going to her clothes, trying to make them presentable, almost as if she hadn’t wanted him to take them off less than a minute ago.

“I shouldn’t have been such an arsehole back there, and I probably –Y/N raised an eyebrow– no, wait, I shouldn’t have asked you why you were doing at the pub, that was a stupid thing to ask, I’m sorry, love” Roger said, cupping her cheek, Y/N leaned unconsciously on the hand resting on her face, taking in its roughness and warmth.

“ ‘s okay.” She answered, Roger just pecked her lips.

But that peck turned into a deeper kiss, Roger –as usual– was leading the kiss, but it didn’t stop Y/N from teasingly pulling on his lower lip, yearning for a reaction of any kind. Roger’s tongue didn’t take long to come out and play, brushing Y/N’s lip, waiting for her to open her mouth; Y/N decided to make him wait a little longer, but Roger didn’t want that, so like last time, his hand dropped down to her ass, grabbing it and slightly massaging it. That action surely did make Y/N gasp, Roger took it as his opportunity to finally fully deepen the kiss.

In an almost déja-vu moment, Y/N’s hands started to busy themselves by untucking and unbuttoning Roger’s shirt, and as soon as the task at hand was done she pushed it off his shoulders, her hands staying on his chest, enjoying the warmth and the constant beat of his heart; but after one of Roger’s hand started to travel inside her shorts she moved her hands up to the back of his neck, pulling at the hair in the back, urging him to do something other than just kiss and tease.

But instead Roger decided to take his hand away, breaking off the kiss for a couple of seconds just to take off her red top, revealing the Rose tattoo that rested on the top of her right breast as well as the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath the garment he had just taken off. His lips started to trail down her neck, a small whine leaving Y/N’s pouted lips as he went lower and lower, sucking a mark right on top of the flower. His hands were travelling up her waist to her chest, cupping them in his rough hands and then one wrapped around the side of her neck, making her gasp.

“Please Roger.” She begged, pulling on his hair.

“Jump.” He said, both hands going down to her ass and to her tight, to make the job of wrapping her legs around him easier.

“Bedroom, Rog, please.” She whined, earning a chuckle from him.

Roger’s lips trailed upwards to meet with hers once again, Y/N moaned into the kiss and Roger just hummed in response, his hips involuntarily thrusting upwards to meet with hers, making them both gasp a little as if they’ve never done this before, like they were teens, like they didn’t play the same games every night, the same scenario and the same scenes.

They enjoyed it anyway, the feel of their bodies pressed against one another, their heavy breathing, the moaning, everything. They lived for it, they savoured each other like they’ve never eaten before.

When they arrived to her room, he realised that he ached for her, never wanting to part. So, without letting go of her he sat down on the edge of the bed, leaving her sitting on top of him, their chests tightly pressed against one another, leaving barely any room between each other –not like they wanted to be apart. So without their kiss breaking, Y/N straightened up, her hands travelling to the button of her shorts, popping it open so she could easily take them off; Roger’s hands quickly travelled to its waistband, ready to help her out of them, but he stopped when he felt her cold fingers fiddling with his belt.

They both took their sweet time at pleasing the other, loving any reaction that came out of their mouths –call it moans, whines, grunts, or the broken versions of their names–, they enjoyed this carnal version of frustration relief, where both of them could stay satisfied with the results. They tried their best to please the other, putting in an effort to relish on the ethereal sounds that could come out of their mouths, whether they were down at their knees –like Y/N was earlier– or with their head between the other’s legs –like Roger tonight.

It always felt as if it all happened incredibly fast, the taste of the other was still lingering on their mouth, leaving a bittersweet feeling that could only be washed away when they see each other the following night.

Now, Y/N was lying comfortably on Roger’s sweaty chest as he drew small random figures on her back, causing goosebumps to erupt all throughout her skin, she felt whole and content with the position she was currently in, not really wanting to think about what will happen before she wakes up later that day. Her head was going a thousand miles an hour, a feeling of regret and pain suddenly settling in her agitated mind so without really putting a lot of thought into it, she blurted out:

“Have you ever thought of the future, Rog?”

He straightened up and cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’ve seen myself with the guys, touring the world, meeting new people, new friends, making more music… “ Even though that wasn’t the direction her question was heading to, she enjoyed the sound of his voice too much to actually interrupt him to clarify.

A silence fell upon them and Y/N took her head off of his chest, deciding to sit up a bit to meet his eyes, the same eyes she was to mad to stare at less than three hours before, the same eyes she searched for when he was sitting behind the drum kit –despite her anger. “That’s not what I meant.” She looked down in shame, she had already started the conversation, and no matter how hard she bit her tongue she had to finish the talk one way or the other, knowing that he would find a way to coax it out of her.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “So what did you mean?”

“I meant, our future.” She mumbled in response and as soon as the words left her lips she regretted ever opening her mouth.

Roger was unable to answer, his mouth hung open, unfit to form a sentence. He ran a hand through his hair, the feeling of her fingers running through the locks still very much present, just like the taste of her lips, of her, in general.

“You know, that was a stupid question, it’s late, I should just go to sleep.” Y/N quickly rambled, a knot on her throat forming quickly.

“Yeah, good night.” Was all he managed to answer.

Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, her back turned to him, mirroring his position, their bodies lacking the contact of the other. Y/N was angry at herself for her commentary, but she knew deep down that it had to be asked at some point, and though it felt as if she had chosen the worst moment to ask such thing, it was better to do it now than later when they reach the two year mark –a mark that wasn’t too far away.

Brilliantly done for a smile, shake hands, and leave.

// Part 2 //

[kinetic-elaboration]

I’m probably going to send you multiple asks but up first...And They Lived: A Sleeping Beauty AU!

Is this a hint I should work on this again?

The Sleeping Beauty AU is Exhibit A in why-I-shouldn’t-write-multi-chaps tbh, even ones like this that are fairly self-contained. I can’t be trusted.

The concept: a (mostly) Ark AU in which Clarke, one of the first generation of Ark-born children, is convinced to take the ALIE chip by Becca on her eighteenth birthday, and immediately falls into a deep sleep as she enters the City of Light. Ninety-seven years later, Bellamy finds her in Becca’s abandoned lab, wakes her up with a kiss, and introduces her to the new Ark. Clarke specifically was an Ark legend, but she wasn’t the only one in the CoL, which creates a new problem: what to do with everyone else?

The fic has 6 chapters and has been planned out for a loooong time. The first two are on AO3, and I have the third and fourth written in draft form, as well as maybe half of the fifth. I want to pick it up again, but it’s going to require me to sit down, do a bunch of re-reading and re-orienting, so it’s sort of intimidating to think about.

Bonus: chapter summaries. Let’s just pretend these aren’t from two years ago...

Ask me about my WIPs!

[sky-scribbles]

2019 Writer’s Round-Up

Tagged by: @greyias, tysm!!

Tagging: @sadmagecentral, @visionmarred and @erintoknow, if you guys want to do this!

Word count

It took a loooong time to plug all of the year’s fics into Word and get an answer to this... the final count is 68,288. Please, no one tell my professors who still haven’t got me to produce two decent 7500-word dissertations.

Number of smut scenes

Two... ish???? Softly and Go Easy were Fallen Hero ficlets that dealt with lemon-ish situations but were incredibly vague because my Disaster Ace brain just isn’t interested in going into details :’D (Me: we could try to write smut now? My brain: but have you considered... angst and tenderness? Me: you got me there.)

New things I tried this year

- My self-imposed ‘one fic a week’ challenge (except during exams...) I’m thrilled that I mostly managed to do it, barring a few weeks where I made art instead or was just too tired. It led to me exploring so many different ideas!

- Writing prompts! I’ve always worried that if I took prompts, I’d never be able to come up with ideas and I’d disappoint the askers, but I had plenty of ideas and absolutely loved doing them.

- A few new formats: Transmission Log , Messages to an MIA Operative, Keystone and Delivered (Not Read) were all epistolary, which was really fun to explore. Most of my FH fics were also in second person, which I was nervous about trying but ended up really enjoying.

Favorite thing I wrote this year

Hhh, that’s a hard one...

Irreparable was one of my favourites to write. Much as I love fix-it fics, taking a blunt look at how deeply fraught Theron and Jace’s relationship is, and watching Jace make it worse with everything he said, was a great ride. 

Astrogation, aka my ‘Revan hangs out with the Outlander as a Force Ghost’ fic, was tricky to write but so much fun. Kess and Zeth are such wildly different OCs and I loved giving them a chance to interact (and kicking the Imposwtor out of the window.)

Over in the FH-verse, This Is You is very close to my heart. Tender Chargestep is good for the soul.

And finally, I have a soft spot for the incredibly angsty Flystep fic What The Water Took From Me. There are some lines in there I’m super proud of and the whole scene plays out so vividly in my head whenever I read it.

Favourite fic I read this year

Oh heck, why don’t I have a fic rec tag? I’ll definitely fix that, and in the meantime...

Everything @sadmagecentral​ touches turns to gold, but this look at Dorian’s past, his relationship with the Alexius family, and his healing with the Inquisition  is a work of beauty. The way a decade of growth is so perfectly summarised in a short story... *chef kiss*

A Taste of Your Skin Starts The Healing by @frozenabattoir is gut-wrenching and tender by turns (just like everything about Argentstep...) and so, so gorgeously written.

I love absolutely everything that @erintoknow does, but especially Your Weak Young Heart. Watching Ari’s journey through her Sidestep days is a wonderful emotional rollercoaster and I loved every word.

And this ficlet by @greyias is lovely and bittersweet and generally perfect :’)

Writing goals for 2020

Hmm, continue the Lionel Shepard ficlets (which began with Keystone.) The idea of a Shepard who doesn’t quite come back right after Lazarus has been in my mind for several years and I’d love to see where it leads me (and Lio and Kaidan. They’re gonna... yearn...)

Finish the Fallen Hero Daemon!AU that’s been sitting in my drafts since August.

And the ‘Wren makes contact with Heartbreak and helps them heal’ AU that’s been sitting around for just as long. This could be a longfic, so I’m still working up the courage...

Do more writing prompts!

Go easier on myself. I’m super proud of myself for rising to the fic-a-week challenge, but sometimes I’ve pushed myself a little hard. My brain loves its structures, but it’s gotta learn that taking a break from a self-imposed rule is not going to make anything bad happen...

Prioritise finals and mental health over fic, sadly :’D I’m going to keep writing as much as I can, just maybe a little less than I have this year.

Words of Thanks

Everyone who’s supported me over this past year! Ngl, it’s been rough in places, and I have no idea what 2020 will bring, but having you all here liking the stuff I make, asking me stuff, and gushing about fictional characters with me has meant so much to me :’)

Special thanks to @monty-s-joy, @jaegerjaguar, @sadmagecentral, @aurrieccentrics, @frozenabattoir, @theebonhawke, @gaydragonwizards and anyone else I might have forgotten because I’m incredibly tired, for screaming about fandom stuff with me, letting me bounce (frequently ridiculous) ideas off you, and generally being wonderful people. <3

[klywrites]

11 Questions

Tagged by @eluari a loooong time ago. This has been sitting in my drafts for some reason.

Tagging @hyba @jynecca @infinitelyblankpage @indecentpause @livvywrites

1. Which reoccuring theme is present in all of your WIPs?

Hm... I think a lot of them have themes of life/death or immortality. Or search for greater meaning/purpose.

2. Which character flaw would you never give to any of your OCs?

Uh... I have no idea! I was gonna go with incestuous tendencies but that’s not a flaw that’s a... BAD

3. Name 3 songs that describe your WIP or give you WIP feels.

"Whisper" by The Dear Hunter, "In the Embers" by Sleeping At Last, "Bad Decisions" by Bastille

4. Which writer do you admire the most and why?

There are a lot! Most of them are long gone. But then there's also writeblr in which there are also many. I'm just gonna name Shakespeare because of how he took simple tales and retold them in grand ways.

5. How do you get over a bad writing day?

I just either keep writing anyway (if I'm able to) or I don't write (take a break)

6. Which trope can’t you get enough of?

found family and some angst ones that I can’t think of right now

7. Which trope do you hate with a passion?

probably that one where a hetero pair looks at each other in a way you know that’s going to lead to sex even though they only just met

8. Which OC of yours is your favourite and why?

The hardest question to answer! I can’t!

9. Tell us about your best experience in the writeblr community.

I love the positivity and support!

10. How much time do you spend writing?

I don't know but it's not much these days

11. Would you self-publish your WIP?

Maybe one of the smaller, lighter projects.