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ayankun · 3 years

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WandaVision episode 6

FIRST OFF

Whenever I go back to pause things for clues, and find exactly what I’m looking for, I don’t feel justified, I feel that much more insane:

It’s really hard to make out, but I had an alright look at it on my folks’ QLED, and it’s definitely a flying saucer doing an alien abduction on what looks to be a person inside an old CRT TV (with some kind of robot head/boombox on top???) There are secret aliens in this show, you guys, the facts don’t lie.

HmmmMMMM I wonder if Agnes is as innocent as she looks:

Also, I didn’t see that she was wearing the brooch in this ep, and I was majorly disappointed in that.

Two things here:

No, that’s not a twins joke.

Another Moonmen Confirmed

I know green is his color or whatever, but that hat is literally 10 years ahead of its time

Also, I took the playing-DDR-at-home scenario at face value, and only on the first rewatch did I realize it was a very pointed turn-of-the-century reference. I am an Old.

There’s a good, subtle Rule of Threes in this ep. The Setup:

The Sokovian Halloween flashback works on so many levels. It’s so funny:

The fact that they went trick-or-treating at all

The “speaking Sokovian”

The treat being a fish

They have to share the fish

The concept that this event gave them an infectious disease

“You probably suppressed a lot of the trauma” -- it’s a good sitcom joke but. the trauma is the joke. The joke IS THE TRAUMA!!!

Elizabeth Olson is a dream with all her wonderful faces she has this ep.

Vision’s unsettling passive-aggression-sitcom-cooperation whiplash is WOW, consider me unsettled!!!!!! “Be. Good.” UGH.

(Just noticed one here, but there are a number of continuity errors in this episode, enough to be distracting later on, and is this a deliberate choice? Please let it be deliberate. I didn’t watch a whole lot of Malcolm in the Middle, is it known for its continuity errors?

)

“It’s their first Halloween.” LOLOLOL they are TEN YEARS OLD and this is their FIRST halloween I LOVE IT

DOUBLE RED HERRING CONFIRRRRRRRRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agent Jimmy Woo accidentally identifying himself as the sassy best friend added 20 years to my life.

Found. FOUND. Not “created,” “manifested,” “willed into being using my insane witch powers.” Third Party Confirmed.

I like that it’s the 90s and we can swear on TV now. “Hell” “kick-ass” “damn it” “fu---dge”

I think the most biting part of Vision finding the whacked out folks is that the soundtrack just kind of ... ignores that anything’s wrong. Yeah, it’s kinda-spooky Halloween music, but it’s still 100% in-world kinda-spooky-sitcom-Halloween-episode music.

OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE AD:

As a 90s child, let me tell you, this is a blisteringly accurate representation of children’s marketing from the period. The shark is wearing sunglasses AND he has a surfboard!!! And he’s selling you yogurt of all things!!!!! This is the supreme distillation of what being a child in the 90s was like.

How disappointed I am that they went with crab instead of lobster.

Heard it through the grapevine that this is a representative of Wanda’s imprisonment on the Raft. That happened in Civil War, right? So the next ad is The Snap? We’re running out of iconic decades, too. so, hold on, new thought.

90s: Civil War

00s: Infinity War

10s?????: Endgame???? or?????????

??: Whatever happened between Endgame and WandaVision, given that the ads are stepping forward through Wanda’s IRL life events!!

I don’t want to know how many episodes are planned/announced, but I don’t know what to expect from the format after they run out of decades from which to draw. Maybe there are only one or possibly two “sitcom” episodes left. Maybe after that it just breaks down and they can pick and choose from the worlds/styles we’ve already established. That’d be p neat. A very unique kind of chaos.

god she’s so cute

Okay, somebody explain to me Pietro. I honestly walked away from last week thinking he was just some townsperson chump, but then I was reminded that this is the Quicksilver actor from all those X-Mans movies I never watched, soooo people are saying Multiverse Confirmed? But, if this is X-Mans’ Pietro, then why did he die the same as MCU Pietro? Or is he literally MCU!Pietro’s corpse, given that he looked all dead same as when she saw Vision’s corpse? If MCU!Pietro, then why different face???

????????????????

Also I found him highly suspicious, what with all the questions he was asking. But the only sort of person who would truly want to know the answers to those questions would be someone who already had them ... so I think he was just asking on behalf of the audience, and the delivery was all wonked out.

Rule of Threes - The Reference:

Ok, real talk, whenever computers/networks/data/encryption/servers/mainframes et al come up in mainstream media, I just look away. I don’t need the kind of psychic damage that comes with such egregious mishandling of the topic.

That being said, does Hayward having eyes through the barrier mean that he could possibly be involved in getting it set up? Because look. If Hayward-after-Hayward’s-Villianous-Ends is one antagonizing force, then is there really room for the Third Party (Confirmed) antagonizing force that’s lurking in the negative space silhouette of the Inciting Incident? With Wanda as the Red Herring antagonizing force, that’s just. There’s just too many villains, alright? We gotta start merging these plotlines.

(then again, when I just said “eyes” I realize probably understanding the true nature of his new secret “CATARACT” project will clear a lot of things up. I’ll wait for enlightenment)

Agnes’ license plate in this episode is 0A1-B2C, which I think is a reference to the way reality is getting pared down to bare bones at the edge of town. Note that this is not the same license plate number as seen last ep.

ALSO, I drove home behind a NJ plate just an hour ago, and was staring at it for a long time, trying to fit it into the puzzle before A) realizing that this was Real Life and not part of the show and B) WTF is a NJ plate doing in front of me in California. In any case, I can confirm that NJ plates do not appear to have this number-letter repeating format.

So let’s talk Agnes.

Demonstrated knowledge of the situation in ways others haven’t (”There’s the star of the show” “kids, you can’t control ‘em”)

Shows up when needed most (explained as being Wanda’s doing, but is it)

When Wanda was having her babies, though, who was trustworthy enough to be summoned? Was it Agnes?

Wanted to babysit REAL BAD

Was in the opening credits framed possessively with the twins

Doesn’t appear to have an IRL identity according to Jimmy’s crime board

Keeps talking about her husband but we’ve never seen him. Highly unlikely that he’s real

Was the one to find Sparky “dead” - internet thinks she was lying to Wanda about how or possibly if he was dead (I’m trying not to read the theories, so idk exactly what the angle is there)

In an episode where everyone is wearing their original comic outfits, Agnes is dressed as (and laughs like!) a witch

She name-drops Wanda as the one controlling everyone; Norm (or the guy playing Norm) only said “she” and “her” -- meaning Agnes?

Naughty

So we’re 99% sure Agnes is Agatha Harkness, right? I never read no comics, so I’m taking the internet’s word for it, but from what I can tell, I think we must be right. If that’s the case, then I’m thinking it’s not impossible for her to be pulling some strings around here (giving Wanda a justification for her “that wasn’t me” doorbell ring, for example, and pulling a double red herring on the fact that she shows up whenever the narrative Wanda her nefarious scheme calls for it).

To devil’s advocate myself, though, we also have Monica’s word that it was Wanda in her mind, lessening the impact of Agnes falsely confirming what Norm only implied. Also she’d have to be acting for Vision’s sake (and ours) and, if so, then what did Vision’s brain-touch really do, and how did she know he’d find her there, and what did she intend as the result of that interaction etc etc.

If Wanda’s (or Wanda + Third Party Confirmed (Agnes??)’s) powers aren’t enough to sustain the simulation of life on the edges of town, how much worse is it going to be now that there is even more area to try to control???

I don’t know if this is strictly an intended read, but the idea of Halloween as a fun, scares-for-entertainment’s sake type holiday, the rounding off the edges of concepts like “skeletons and ghosts are what people are after they die, let’s decorate the town with them and have a good time” kind of is a haunting parallel to the nature of Wanda (et al) covering up the horrible truth of the situation with this happy-go-lucky sitcom glamour.

How much does one hate seeing Vision giving his life for the greater good (the greater good) for the second time? In other news, I think I’m seeing some specifically Mind Stone type energy-colors coming off of him, and very little Wanda type energy-colors. Third Party Confirmed.

Also, I was thinking from last week that perhaps Hayward’s Villainous Ends included capturing the reanimated Vision to be one of those Sentient Weapons his organization is all about, but I Do Not Think his reaction to seeing that sought-after prize disintegrate in front of his eyes really matches up with that theory. Again, will be patiently waiting for Jimmy to check his email to see what CATARACT is all about!

Rule of Threes - The Payoff:

Also, anyone ID the movie playing in the background?

Ok, final thought. I watched this about four times today, and on the big-ass TV at my parents’ house finally paused and got up close to see what that white shape is in the reflection. Thought it might be a skull, but, it’s worse.

These caps do not contain enough data to verify my claim, but I PROMISE YOU it’s a TV

A square old thing with a round screen and antenna on top.

I SWEAR to you, when I looked into the TV, into Wanda’s eyes, only to see the reflection of a TV, of her looking at me looking at her I had a visceral fear reaction. Like. LEGIT nauseous skin crawl.

(All the other episodes have ended with our POV as the fourth wall, from the general (or exact!!!) position their household TV is known to be.)

This is my favorite show Of All Time.

#WandaVision #1x06 #All-New Halloween Spooktacular!

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vermin-disciple · 4 years

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Fic Writer Interview

Thank you to @sapphosewrites for tagging me!

Name: Vermin

Fandoms: Currently Star Trek, and DS9 specifically has eaten my brain. But I’ve been in and out of fandom for the past 20 years, so there have been many. I’ve more often been an avid reader and lurker than an active participant, though. The last fandom I was most actively involved in (and wrote the most fic for) was Life on Mars (UK), and that was a while ago. Other fandoms have included: Good Omens, Due South, Sherlock Holmes, and of course my very first gateway fandom, Harry Potter.

Where you post: AO3 and Tumblr. You can still find a lot of my older fic posted on my LJ, although I don’t post there anymore. Every once in a blue moon I get a notification from FF.net and am momentarily reminded that I still technically have an account there (though I can’t remember the last time I used it).

Most popular one-shot: That depends on your definition of a one-shot, lol. My top fic in terms of kudos is False Friends and False Prophets, which is technically part of a series (Where No Occult [or Ethereal] Being Has Gone Before), but then again, all the works in that series are written to work as standalones while existing within a shared crossover universe. If we exclude those then the next option is Freedom’s Just Another Word, except that while that is not currently listed as part of the This Be The Verse series (for thematic reasons), it is based on a flashback in Tell Me You See Me and I do consider it part of that universe, even though it can be read independently.

So I guess my most popular indisputable one-shot would be my first Garak/Bashir fic, Bound in Shallows and in Miseries.

Most popular multichapter: Tell Me You See Me (not that I have a lot to choose from)

Favorite story you’ve written so far: This was more difficult than I expected! Here are the ones that particularly stand out in my mind:

Tin Star (Life on Mars, 2009): Not counting a few drabbles, this was my second work for LoM. The first one, Convergence, is from the POV of a character who doesn’t appear onscreen in canon (and probably doesn’t exist), so Tin Star was my first real attempt at writing the POV of one main cast. I found the idea of writing Gene Hunt pretty intimidating, and was (and still am) very pleased with how this came out. Also, my favorite LoM writer, @lozenger8, beta-read it and told me it was awesome, and 11 years later I still feel all warm and fuzzy about this.

Mater Familias (I, Claudius, 2009): My first and longest work of I, Claudius fanfiction, written for a once annual ficathon on LJ called Femgenficathon (shoutout to @gehayi who modded it - it was a great event). I’m not entirely sure why I landed on this particular idea. I’d been joking about writing IC fic for years, but if you’d asked me prior to writing this what characters I’d most like to write about, Antonia the Younger wouldn’t have been high on the list. But once the idea occurred to me, I really relished delving into Antonia’s psyche. I’m also fond of this fic because there’s so little IC fic out there, and I’m rather pleased to have contributed something. (There was a point a few years ago when there were 6 works of I, Claudius fic on AO3 and 4 of them were by me.)

On the Benefits of a Classical Education (Jeeves & Wooster, 2012) – To quote my author’s note: “at about 1:00 a.m. after a round of grading undergraduate papers, I reached that point of giddy insanity where the idea of writing one's grading comments in Wodehousian pastiche seems like basically the funniest thing, ever. My coping mechanisms, let me show you them.” This is definitely one of the weirdest and silliest things I’ve written, but it still makes me grin when I reread it. (Yes, I do laugh at my own jokes.)

On Transmutation [and Tortoises] (Good Omens, 2011): As someone who has studied (and now teaches) evolutionary theory, I got a big kick out of writing about evolution in a universe where creationism is canon. Not to mention telling jokes about Darwin riding tortoises. (I make a point of reading that particular passage in The Voyage of the Beagle to my students.) And I owe @anthean some credit for giving me the prompt that produced this. :)

Writ in Water (Sherlock Holmes [ACD], 2015): This is essentially an interplay between two brilliant people trying to suss each other out while avoiding talking about their own respective existential crises. There’s no romance between them – it’s just Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler having a meandering conversation while meandering around Rome, after an accidental meeting during the Great Hiatus. My characterization of Irene Adler came out of my dissatisfaction with her characterization in recent adaptations. I think I started c. 2011, and I didn’t finish it until years later. There’s a lot of self-indulgence in this one. I majored in Classic Civ and spent a semester abroad in Rome, and my love for the city is pretty evident throughout. It’s littered with references to ancient history, there’s some gratuitous poetry, and the climax is set in the Protestant Cemetery, which is one of my favorite places in the city.

I honestly think it’s one of the best things I’ve ever written.

This Be The Verse (Star Trek: DS9, 2020): This fic is about my strained relationship with kidfic as a genre lol. I periodically get the urge to binge-read all the kidfic for a particular fandom/pairing, but then I usually end up being disappointed by most of it. So this started with me idly contemplating why kidfic often doesn’t work for me (and why I keep reading it anyway). And because of my current fandom preoccupation, this inevitably involved taking a hard look at the delightfully dysfunctional DS9 cast and wondering just what sort of parents they would be, and how their flaws might affect their children, and how the found family aspects of the show might manifest in the next generation. (Not sure how all this idle speculation ended up spiraling so wildly out of control, but here we are, and now I am just overflowing with ideas for this universe.)

I’m not 100% satisfied with all of this fic, but the epilogue is definitely one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. It also has a special place in my heart for being the first multichapter fic I’ve ever finished. (And the first one I’ve posted since I was in high school.)

Fics you were nervous to post: I used to get nervous about all of it (less so, these days). But one of the ones I was most nervous about was probably Convergence, which was my first substantial work in Life on Mars (I’d only written a couple of drabbles prior to this). I was really nervous about writing for LoM, because the setting and the dialogue style were pretty far outside my wheelhouse. Being a 21-year-old Californian, 1970s Mancunian copper slang wasn’t exactly part of my day-to-day vocabulary. (Oh, hey, I’d totally forgotten that you beta-read this for me, @sunnyrea!)

How do you choose your titles: I tend to gravitate to quotes (usually poetry or song lyrics) and/or wordplay of some kind. Sometimes I just pick out a significant word or phrase from the fic itself.

Do you outline: Frequently, although I rarely stick to my outlines religiously.

Complete: Nearly everything I have on AO3 is complete

In progress: Just counting posted WIPs, there’s Tell Me You See Me and Attack of the Giant Mutant Killer Rabbits

Prompts: Sure, but you have to come write them on my shower notepad. ;)

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: I have a number of ideas for additional works set in my This Be The Verse AU, but the one I’ve already written a substantial amount of (~13,000 words) is tentatively titled A Bag Full of God. This I originally had saved as ‘The Other Kind of Kidfic,’ although that’s misleading: it is de-aging fic, but they’re de-aged to 19-year-olds, so they’re not technically kids. It’s one that starts off fairly comedic and then gets progressively darker.

Worlds I would love to write for in the future: No idea. Fandoms tend to sneak up on me. But I have a feeling I’ll be stuck in the ST universe for a while. There’s just so much to play with, there. And I’ve found the fandom a very hospitable place to hang out in both on and offline (talked to a lot of lovely people at ST Las Vegas when I was there a few years ago, for instance). That said, I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at writing more Sherlock Holmes fic some day. (I have a thing for old school fandoms, apparently.)

Tagging everyone I’ve already tagged in this and anyone else who wants to fill it out!

#about me #vermin rites #my fanfic #wow I really do ramble on don't I

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anika-ann · 4 years

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Heart Too Cold, but Friends of Gold - Pt.10

Alone Is What I Have

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 2200

Summary: Avenger!reader AU. Part 2 of Melting Hearts series. Part 1 HERE.

Snowflake is hiding. And she’s good at it. Also, reportes suck (at least in this story and chapter)

Warnings: swearing, light angst,… eh

Story Masterlist

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Alone is what I have, alone protects me. (BBC’s Sherlock Holmes) …And what more, alone protects the people I care about the most.

Prague was an interesting city. You supposed it was not too much different from other European cities, the old buildings and a breath of history on every other corner meeting the modern steel and technology of today, but there was just some kind of an aura that got to you. The system of public transportation had been a bit confusing at first, but allowed countless different ways of getting where you needed, which also meant many different escape routes – you still were a pragmatic. And you liked it here.

What you not necessarily liked, but definitely appreciated for its convenience, was the anonymity and the nature of Czech people – it took them a lot of time to warm up to someone, no matter how warm-hearted they could become once they let someone in.

In the streets of Prague, you could easily recognize Praguer from a foreigner; unlike the foreigners, the habitants of Czech capital had developed an amazing ability of looking around and not seeing. They would meet the same person for the fourth time in the past hours and they simply wouldn’t notice. They were having their eyes for nothing; it always reminded you of Matt Murdock, the blind lawyer of Hell’s Kitchen who was the exact opposite.

Matt, despite not being able to use his eyes anymore, saw more than anyone. You had thought of contacting him many times, just to have some familiarity in your new world where friendship or any kind of a relationship was a luxury you couldn’t afford, but you always backed out. You were too scared of him getting in touch with the Avengers’ team. Not to mention his lawyer persona seemed busy enough even without your load of crap – you had looked him up few times, rather rarely and always within walking distance from the faculty of law of Charles University of Prague, so you wouldn’t raise suspicion about yourself. After all, a random person connected to public wi-fi taking interest in a very specific lawyer of Hell’s Kitchen could be much of a hint; if the random person was a law student though… you thought it was relatively safe.

So you only had acquaintances, people you met from time to time, but never for their friendship – they were more of business partners, really. You headed to a meeting to a café which one of ‘your’ people, Eva, frequented rather often and liked to hang out in.

You found a boot in the back. You pulled out your laptop and started it, automatically checking on your surrounding once more; it was a terrible and necessary habit of a person who was on the run. Since you were almost 15 minutes early, you decided to catch up with the world (read the Avengers) on free wi-fi.

The apartment you lived in had no internet connection and once again, you needed the anonymity; if people connecting in a café checked the news site and paid a lot of attention to news of New York City and the Avengers, no one could question it – and it wouldn’t pop out at Tony’s radar, because no one could tell the search was coming from one particular person repeatedly.

When you opened the news site, your heart stopped. Your breath froze on your lips, your throat getting impossibly tight, your vision immediately blurring. You squinted at the screen so you could re-read the headline.

‘Did our Captain die for nothing?’

You could feel the optical mouse crying under your palm as the frost covered it, but you couldn’t make yourself to care.

Your eyes were roaming around the article, desperately finding a prove of you being wrong.

Luckily, you were.

Seventy years ago, Steven Grant Rogers, a man we know as Captain America, laid down his life to save countless others. The serum-powered soldier’s mission was to take down HYDRA, Nazi’s science division, and all history books claim that he and his Howling Commandos achieved that. Yet, the events of past days are telling us a different story. Captain America and other S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives were fighting the very same organization everyone believed to be defeated. While in reality, HYDRA had been growing in their own rows.

The reporter went on, uncovering an enormous intel leak from S.H.I.E.L.D. following the discovery of HYDRA moles inside of the government agency, but there was no other word on Steve. You choose to believe he was alive – because they would sure as hell ‘mention’ if he wasn’t –, finally allowing yourself to breathe in.

You decided you hated reporters and their shocking headlines that were supposed to bait more readers. You almost had a fucking heart-attack.

Now, you had to believe Steve was alright. In addition, you learned he had found a new ally known as Falcon – a man with advanced technology in a form of fucking wings. Also, Natasha had been by his side.

Reading into details of the article – and multiple others – you were stressing over your parents again. Fury had told you there was no record of their current position in S.H.I.E.L.D. files, something he had taken care of when finding out there had been the leak about your identity in the first place. In theory, they should be safe – but all you had was hope.

There was a tiny voice in the back of your head, luring you back to US, back to the Avengers, back to Steve. Once again, the theory was he should be safer now – you believed now that Michaels was part of HYDRA, the organization he had been talking about to scare you off being nothing else but the group finding its origins in the thirties – yet, you were too scared to take that risk. If HYDRA had handled to infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. and figure out your identity, where was the insurance of some other terrorist group not being able to do the same? As convenient as it would be, Michaels hadn’t had to be part of HYDRA at all.

You couldn’t go back.

Not to mention you didn’t believe your family of choice would want you back and you didn’t think you could handle the rejection. Your heart ached at the image of Steve’s cold eyes, pushing you away. You dreamed of it sometimes, of you returning and him greeting you flatly, advising you to come back where you had come from; sometimes, he welcomed you with the warmest smile and ‘I missed you so much’ on his lips before letting them get familiar with yours again.

But in the cold reality, you knew your return was way too risky – for Steve and for your heart as well.

You focused on the lines in front of you, letting each of them get carved into your brain. You learned about Steve being in a hospital, fortunately with his life no longer hanging on a thread. You learned that S.H.I.E.LD. stopped existing, leaving a whole lot of uncovered secrets behind, including the last possible trace of you in Provence – you had left the area months ago after you couldn’t resist and had saved a little girl from getting hit by a car, sadly in a way that draw too many prying eyes. You had had to change the settings of your mask and run after that stunt.

That was how you had found yourself in Prague, building a completely new life once again. You were an English teacher now, a private one, individuals or little groups seeking you out for improving their conversation skills. It was ridiculous how much money people were willing to pay for it – luckily for you. It meant a very flexible schedule and not necessarily meeting the same people regularly, which was relatively safe.

“Brigit!” a voice called out and you jumped in your seat, realizing the woman was addressing you. Damn the fake names!

You looked up with a hasty smile, meeting Eva’s amused expression.

“Spaced a little, aren’t you?”

“Spaced out,” you corrected her automatically and she gave you a look that told you she was hundred percent done with you. You grinned in return. “Sorry. Just… interesting article. Let’s order some caffeine before we start?”

“Yes, please. I was working on my thesis for like… well, very long. I barely slept. I need caffeine.”

Your smile turned sympathetic. Late nights you knew too well despite never being a college student. Eva was majoring in biology on top of that, trying to improve her English so she could apply for her dream job, so you couldn’t even imagine the pain.

“You know what? I’m paying today.”

The woman honestly looked as if she wanted to kiss you on spot. Which was kinda ironic, considering how much money she paid you and how little the coffee cost in comparison, but you weren’t about to mention that.

“I’m choosing the most expensive one.”

“I’m sure you are.”

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Life went on. Days seemed too long, so you had been adding new students to your flock to keep yourself busy with no time for gloomy thoughts. But the truth was, you were just terribly lonely.

You missed your parents.

You missed your team.

You missed Steve.

And as crazy as it sounded, you missed the insane world of avenging, because the people whose absence was killing you had been a part of that world. Not even starting on the rewarding feeling that would come when managing to save a life.

It was one of those days when you were drowning in loneliness when you learned about yet another adventure the team had been through – maybe it was why the news of Sokovia hit you so hard.

An artificial intelligence trying to take on the world with an army of super-bots under his command and starting with… sending a part of the country literally flying in the air. It ended with that, only thanks to the Avengers and the word was that three more enhanced individuals were seen on the scene, one of them laying down his life.

Three more enhanced. Had the world gone completely crazy? And the one who had died….

The urge to come back, maybe be forgiven, maybe even not being afraid for Steve’s life with what could be new faces on the team… it was stronger than ever. Your heart ached, the homesickness squeezing your lungs and not allowing you to breathe in properly.

You left yet another café in hurry, shooting Petr, the student you were supposed to meet, a quick apology that you were feeling very sick. You apologized for the extremely short notice. He was almost too understanding, but you were grateful that you could just curl up in a ball on your bed and cry for an hour. It cost you all of your strength not to give in to the calling of your powers and start a snowstorm. It would make you weak and you would be found. You kinda wanted to be weak and found, hopefully by your friends.

You didn’t take the risk.

The next day, you woke up with new determination to pick up as many new students as you could to wear yourself down to a bone. For the two following weeks, you were desperate to search for some new faces.

With Murphy’s luck, it seemed like too many of yours no longer needed your services and no newbies popped up. It was one of the reasons why you jumped after the opportunity; when Eva mentioned she had this Russian friend who had moved to Prague very recently and seemed so excited about the lessons Eva was still attending, you immediately said yes to a meeting set in an only three days’ notice.

You should have known better.

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The woman – Inna, as you learned from Eva’s narration – came to the café with her friend; you had said it would be easier for her to be accompanied instead of Eva taking a picture of you and letting her find you on her own. The true reason behind your actions had been simple – you didn’t want anyone to have your picture, even when wearing the S.H.I.E.L.D. mask.

So Eva entered the Starbucks of your choice with a pretty blonde by her side and gave you a cheerful wave as she spotted you by the stairs; you waited for the blonde to order, while Eva disappeared again to run some errands since she was in the centre of the town.

You guided Inna to a table in a less busy corner of the otherwise crowded room upstairs and you both set your drinks down before shaking hands.

“I’m Brigit. It’s very nice to meet you!” you tried out, previously learning from Eva that Inna’s level of English was pretty good.

The woman, who had seemed rather nervous before, relaxed as she accepted your hand, her shoulders losing the tension in them.

“The pleasure is all mine. I heard a lot about you.”

You were almost taken aback by her voice, heavy with eastern accent; despite the fact you knew where she came from, you expected the accent being less thick. But maybe you were just oversensitive.

“Really? Good things I hope?”

The blonde laughed shortly, her face getting younger. It was easier to see how she and Eva could be friends now. “Oh yes, Eva wouldn’t shut up about you! Shall we start?”

“Sure,” you agreed, gesturing towards the chair. “Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself and then what would you like our sessions to look like?”

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Part 11

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Tags: @mermaidxatxheart, @murdermornings, @elisaa-shelby @ask-hellbent-tweek @cxptain, @kallafrench, @smilexcaptainx @scentedsongrebel, @orions-nebula

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*Very discreetly shoves Czechia into another fic and smiles innocently* I need to use my knowledge, okay? :D

Also, BBC’s Sherlock is full of amazing quotes and I feel like re-watching it when I have the time.

And I’m aware this was a bit of a filler chapter. I’m preparing the ground for the next one, which hopefully will be more eventful ;) (I wonder who that new student might be :D )

#marvel #fanfiction #heart too cold but friends of gold #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #avengers #avenger reader #captain america #steve rogers #captain america imagine #anika ann

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welllpthisishappening · 4 years

Text

Mom’s Trip

The trade deadline is stressing me out. That’s it. That’s the reason for this. i have no idea how long it is or why it is or, really, what it is except using Rangers-provided content as fic inspiration. Special shoutout to @shireness-says and @eleveneitherway for both being like, “yes, make it Regina” when I was talking about this. Also, guys, please acknowledge that I turned the six on Mrs. Skjei’s jersey to a zero.

Or: Ryan Strome’s mom told Artemi Panarin to get her kid the puck and my brain was like THAT’S A BLUE LINE THING. And then Mika’s mom wanted to hug her kid and my brain was like, SERIOUSLY, BLUE LINE.

----

“Dad! Dad! Mom! Ma—c’mon are you actually here and just ignoring me?”

Emma glanced up from the computer in front of her, a paper-covered desk and plans for an event she was only marginally interested in. She heard the footsteps coming down the hall — more like a brisk jog, really, and that couldn’t have been good for his right thigh.

He’d blocked a shot the night before.

“Hey,” Matt said, almost out of breath when he skidded to a stop in the open doorway to Emma’s office. “Did you not hear me?”

“People across the entire island of Manhattan heard you.”

“Oh, wow. Scathing from the get, huh?”

“How’s your leg?”

Matt shrugged, a quiet noise in the back of his throat that only made Emma’s eyebrows pinch. “Ah, don’t do that, it’s—I’m fine…I mean, we won, right?”

“Sometimes it genuinely concerns me how much you are like your father.”

“Scathing to insulting in four seconds flat.”

“Were you not yelling for him too?” Emma asked, and she was ninety-six percent positive Matt hadn’t knocked. Not like he had to. In this house. The one he grew up in. With enough empty rooms now that Emma could have an office.

Matt let his head loll to the side — a far too knowing expression that Emma did not appreciate at all. She was the mom. She was the adult.

She was—

Her computer dinged.

“Whatcha watching?”

“What did you say?” Emma countered. “Don’t do that? Don’t do that.”

“We’re going in circles here,” Matt muttered, crossing his feet at the ankles. Like he was trying to hit a BINGO card of all the things that made Emma feel vaguely maternal-type emotions. Her computer wouldn’t stop playing the video.

Or she wouldn’t stop playing the video.

Whatever, semantics.

“How many times have you watched it?” Matt pressed. He took a step into the room, arms crossed now and one eyebrow arched impossibly high. “Just—you know, like ballpark it for me.”

“What are you doing here, Mattie?”

“That’s not an answer. Also, this is my house.”

“You do not live here, Matthew David.”

He stopped walking. And the other eyebrow joined the first. Maybe Emma would just slide out of her chair and lay on the floor.

That would hurt her back, probably.

Getting old was stupid.

Being jealous of Regina was stupid.

“Ballpark,” Matt repeated.

“No.”

“What?”

“No,” Emma said again, slower that time like it would make her sound more responsible. Or, at least less insane. She felt a little insane.

She’d watched the video so many times already.

Elsa had sent her ten text messages about it.

Ruby had written a small novel.

Mostly exclamation points.

Matt’s lips twitched, rocking back on his heels with wide eyes and genetically enhanced eyebrows. He didn’t get anything from her eyebrows.

“Yuh huh,” he drawled. “I’m going to guess somewhere in the twenty range, but that’s only because I can still hear it on auto-play and—“

“—The Flyers website is not as good as ours,” Emma interrupted. “It just keeps looping. So my viewing numbers are probably all skewed.”

“You know you can hit pause, right?”

“In theory.”

Matt laughed, crossing the rest of the space and perching on the edge of Emma’s desk. The video started again.

And, really, most of her reaction to the stupid thing was based almost entirely on surprise.

Because it wasn’t the first time Regina had gone on the mom’s trip with the Flyers.

Emma had gone with the Rangers — decked in head to toe blue and Matt’s jersey and Regina didn’t look great in orange, but no one really looked great in orange.

It was a thing.

A hockey tradition, even.

Except now the tradition included viral videos, apparently, pinned to the top of every Philadelphia Flyers social media page — Regina standing in the middle of the visitor’s locker room in Columbus with Mills-Locksley emblazoned across her back and the Flyers lineup in her hand.

She called out every name, all enthusiasm and a smile on her face as soon as she glanced Roland’s direction.

And when she turned towards the Flyers’ starting center.

Demanding he get Roland the puck.

Emma’s eyes flickered back towards her computer. The best part of the whole video might have been Roland’s noticeably pink cheeks.

Or, the way his head dropped to his gloves.

That was Ariel’s favorite part.

So half a dozen text messages Emma hadn’t answered yet proclaimed.

“I didn’t know Gina had it in her, honestly, Matt said. “The sweet is—“

“—Oh, I’m going to tell her you said that.”

“Please don’t. I need my endorsements.”

Emma wasn’t sure what noise she made at that, but she resolutely refused to take responsibility for it, reaching out to rest a hand on her kid’s leg. He grinned.

“You might have some competition for those endorsements,” Emma said. “I bet in between scoring demands and—“

“—Rol did score. The group chat was very quick to point that out while he was whining about getting interviewed because of his mom.”

“What a rough life you children lead.”

“It does get a little aggressive, though,” Matt continued, “Get him the puck! Get him the puck! She’s got a lot of thoughts about Rol’s scoring potential, don’t you think?”

“Eh. She’s got reason to be confident. Legacy and all that.”

“You honestly think she’s working endorsement deals for Flyers guys?” Matt asked. “Isn’t that a conflict of interest?”

“Any moment without trying to make connections is a moment wasted as far as Regina Mills-Locklsey is concerned.”

“Oh, I’m going to tell her you said that! Then she won’t have time to be annoyed by all the gifs I keep sending Rol.”

Emma clicked her tongue. “Stop teasing him.”

“I’m not teasing, I’m mercilessly making fun. Get him the puck! Get him the puck!”

“Got to shoot to score.”

“Top-tier cliche.”

“Mmhm. That’s definitely my MO.”

Matt’s eyes narrowed, mouth twisting slightly when his hand landed on Emma’s. “Why do you keep watching it?”

“Rubes has watched it more than me.”

“That’s because she wants to analyze the hits and the long-term reach of one thirty second video clip. Is Dad even home right now?”

“No,” Emma shook her head. “Did he tell you to come here?”

“Yuh huh. Why would you think that is? Exactly.”

She couldn’t keep clicking her tongue. She was going to sprain it.

Matt practically beamed.

“Maybe I’ll challenge him to a shoot-off or something,” he mumbled. “Interfering like this. Got to put the old man back in his place.”

“You’re really throwing out insults, aren’t you?”

“He planned this.”

“What did he tell you to get you here?”

“That he had film I needed to watch. Which is just—I’m sure he’s very pleased with his lie and ploy and—“

“—Good word,” Emma grumbled.

“I also think it’s nice you think it’s nice that Gina demanded one of Rol’s teammate set him up. And, I uh—“ Matt shrugged, a lopsided grin tugging at the end of his mouth. “You don’t need to go all retweet to get me to come over here, you know. Or tell me shoot. On the mom’s trip or otherwise.”

“Good to know. And your dad and I are going to talk about not-so-subtle plans later. Taking advantage of my mom-type feelings and—“

There were more footsteps.

Emma rolled her eyes, Matt’s laugh bouncing off the walls of her office and making it difficult to hear Regina’s voice coming out of the shitty computer speakers.

Killian tossed his feet at the ankles when he leaned against the open doorway.

“Hey, Matt,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

Matt groaned. “You’re not funny.”

“No other people on the ice during our shootout?”

“Do you not remember how shootouts work?”

“Grounded,” Emma said at the same time Killian did. Matt’s head fell to his shoulder.

“I was already reminded I don’t live here,” he argued. “And Dad should probably get in trouble before me, anyway. Lack of tact or a good plan or—“

“—I told you I had video you needed to watch,” Killian interrupted. “Where was the lie in that?”

“You think you’re very smart, don’t you?”

“Let your mom read the lineup on the next trip.”

“Is that my call?”

“Make it your call.”

“Please don’t mention that to Ruby,” Emma grumbled. “It will consume her every thought if she even starts thinking about the impressions.”

“Good word,” Matt echoed.

She flicked his side.

His eyebrows jumped.

And Killian looked very proud of himself.

“Something to think about, at least,” he said, across the office in a few, quicks steps and Emma tilted her head up on instinct so he could press his lips to hers.

Matt sighed. “Awesome, awesome, awesome. Is there food here?”

“You and your brother have got to learn how to feed yourself,” Emma muttered, but she was already standing up and Matt was already jogging back down the hallway and there was far too much food in the kitchen.

And she never did get around to telling Killian where he could stick his plans or his interference, clicking off the Flyers’ website eventually because there was a trip to get ready for three weeks later.

They didn’t reach viral status — a fact Ruby would probably never let Emma live down — because she didn’t actually read the starters, but she did—

“Matt,” another mom grinned after finishing the lineup. “Your mom wants to give you a hug.”

He laughed.

The locker room laughed.

Emma…kind of ran.

The arms that wrapped around her were a little tighter than she expected, but that only made the space around her heart clench a little bit, her chin hooking over Matt’s shoulder pads when he kissed her on the cheek.

“Try and score, huh?” she asked.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

He did. Twice.

Which Emma made sure to mention in the slightly more adult, if even less mature group chat. Several times. Possibly a dozen times.

That night.

#cs ff #captain swan #captain swan ff #cs fic #blue line one shots #KILLIAN JONES HAS GOT PLANS #this mom's trip was just...a mess of emotions for me #guys i am seriously not coping well with this trade deadline AT ALL

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fuckedurbias · 4 years

Text

two piece - johnny seo

genre: fluffy!!! v slight?? angst towards the end

requested? yes!

word count: 1.3k

warnings: apart from a lot of soft!johnny that could endanger ur heart,, nothing hehe

It was another long day, time was passing by so slow and all you could think about was how much you were dreading the long train ride and bus ride home. All you wanted to do was collapse onto your warm bed and sleep for 10 hours or even better, 4 months because that’s how long you had until the semester ended. You did love your course; studying and pursuing fashion was your life long dream, but days like this where it just dragged on for hours with no practical stuff and just all theory drained the life and passion out of you. This point in the semester was the worst, with exams coming up soon you didn’t get to do any of the fun stuff. Designing was fun but when you only got to draw it out and had to annotate it without actually making anything it really chipped away at your ambition and love for the art.

“Okay students, now that all the bases are covered I would like to introduce you to some very special people” Your professor announces, snapping you out of your daydream. Your brain starts racing, trying to think of who it could be. Why would he be bringing in ‘special’ people? What have you been doing in this class that would call for any models, brand reps, high end designers or anyone of that like, to leave their important positions for an hour to come visit some university students?

“Because we are on the topic of individual styles and dressing for different body types, these people are coming in to help us. You will each be assigned one of these people and have to dress them to flatter their body type, while still keeping their preferred fashion style” Your professor explains. Ah yes, that… Shows how much you’ve been paying attention. Once your professor is finished explaining the project, a line of people starts to walk in. Your eyes widen, realising who they are; well, you don’t know exactly who they are, but you can assume. They are beautiful, tall and well proportioned so who else could they be other than models. Real models. You’re already so intimidated and anxious. One in particular who your eyes immediately catch, he’s the tallest one out of the bunch and his brown hair neatly parted off his forehead. Your heart starts racing and you hope you’re assigned anyone but him because god your heart is already about to burst out of your chest you’d hate to think about what mess you’d become if you had to talk to him and touch him.

But alas, of course with your luck that is exactly what happens. As the teacher goes through the names of the students and the models that they will be assigned you feel the butterflies in your stomach intensify as the boy you didn’t want to be assigned wasn’t assigned to anyone else yet. When the teacher eventually gets to your name, you hold your breath as he says you will be paired with someone named “Johnny” and you look along the models and see the boy smile and wave at you. Oh fuck. You give a poor attempt at a smile and a wave back and then fall back in your seat and look down at your blank laptop screen, refusing to look at anything but that.

“Before we start, just want to clarify that these people aren’t professional models…yet. They are only trainees and their companies generously lent them to us for this project and to also help them get experience, as at the end of this project we will be holding a mini fashion show. It won’t be anything too extravagant so don’t stress too much” Your professor clarifies, but as if that’s going to calm you down in any way. You wish you could be stressing over the actual project but sadly the only thing you’re stressing over is the fact that you’re going to have to talk to and style the most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen in your life, and now he’s walking over to you and you’re feeling nothing but dread for all the embarrassment you’re about to cause yourself.

“So, what kind of fashion style and trends do you like the most?” You ask nervously, unable to look up at him. This whole conversation has just been you glancing at his hands; which wasn’t really helping since they were just as pretty as his face, so big and the outlines of his veins protruding and visible. His fingers also so long and slender and the rings he was wearing made them appear even longer, as if that was even possible. You really needed to kick some sense into yourself right now, you couldn’t go the whole project not looking at him while you were talking to him. He probably thinks you’re weird and impolite, but you can’t just tell him you’re too scared to look at him because he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life… Could you?

“Hello?” Johnny waves his hand in front of your face and you nearly jump out of your skin and accidentally make eye contact with him for ½ a second. You feel your cheeks becoming hotter by the second as you quickly look back down at your notes you were writing down on your laptop. You quickly mutter a ‘sorry’ and start typing away hastily on your laptop.

“Did you even hear what I said?” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Yes I-” you accidentally look at his eyes again and immediately feel defeated, “no… I didn’t”. You looked down at your hands resting on some random keys, you don’t even know where you were going with this entire thing and you just felt so embarrassed, you couldn’t even look Johnny in the eyes for more than 2 seconds and even that was a stretch, how were you supposed to style an entire outfit for him? And have it look good? You can feel tears welling up in your eyes and you’re trying so hard to hold them back even though you know they’re visible. “Woah, are you okay?” Johnny asks softly, reaching over to close your laptop and put it aside. He leans in close trying to get you to look up at him, great now you’re really going to start crying. You look at him, feeling the the intense nerves in your stomach again but this time you continued to look at him. “I don’t know honestly, this whole project is already so overwhelming and I really have no idea what I’m doing. I’m already enough of a nervous, stressed out mess and add this to the mix and… I feel like I’m going to explode” You ramble on, body falling back in your chair as your gaze falls back down to your hands.

“What about it is stressing you out?” He questions. Every time he speaks you feel like you’re about to start melting, his voice is so smooth and low and especially when he’s talking to you so softly like this and trying to comfort you, god it’s driving you insane.

“Well…” You look up at him, trying to decide if you should lie or just tell him that it’s him, “I-it’s you”. Your mouth spoke before you could decide if you were going to say it or not.

“Me? Really?” He leans back a little, giving you a shy smile. “Yeah” You don’t realise how wide-eyed you’re looking at him right now, “just working with an actual model, well trainee, but to me it’s basically the same thing, you know? And having the responsibility of dressing you and having such a high possibility of messing it all up and humiliating not just myself, but you as well. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen so I don’t know how I’ll make you look bad but with my luck I’m sure I will somehow” You ramble once again, having no idea what you just said.

“Okay firstly, you won’t mess it up at all, I’ll help you if you’re unsure even though I already trust you since you’ve been asking me detailed questions, so I know you’re thorough and passionate about your work and ideas. Secondly, I’m the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, really?” He has a shit eating grin on his face and you feel your stomach sink. You’d bang your head against the table but you’ve already embarrassed yourself enough, all you can do now is at least pretend to be confident and own up to what you said, as if he’ll believe it at this point.

“Y-yeah you are, you’re a model so of course…. That’s the only reason why- Anyways!! Back to the questions!” You snap open your laptop and ask him the question again. At least you can make eye contact with him now without feeling like throwing up everywhere, for the most part. This project was already an emotional rollercoaster and you hadn’t even started yet.

It had been a week since the project started and much to your disbelief and low expectations, it was actually going quite well. Once you opened up to him, you found that he was a very down to earth guy, also surprisingly shy and very funny. He was very good at initiating conversation and keeping them going, so he kind of forced you to open up by making you talk with his never-ending conversation but you weren’t complaining at all. Especially at times like today, you two were at the shopping centre to look around and shop for clothes for the project. You were feeling so dead, since you were running on 3 hours of sleep and you woke up early to meet up with Johnny. He got mad at you for not taking care of yourself, even thought it wasn’t your fault and it was due to so many assessments being due at once. His conversation kept you awake though, (amongst a lot of coffee) even if it did irritate you at some points and you didn’t feel like talking, he still talked even if you didn’t answer. Purely because he knew he was helping you not fall asleep while you walked.

“Remind me why we’re here when we have work to do?” Johnny asks, looking at you confused as you stood in line for frozen yoghurt.

“Because there’s nothing more motivating and uplifting than your own personalised ice cream. Choosing my own flavour and filling it to the brim with candy and chocolate and jelly reminds me that the choices I make will make me happy and are good for me!” You glance at his face, “At least, for me, you know?”. He just lets out a huff of air as he smiles and looks away. “Sure, if it will cheer up and make you less tired. Maybe I’ll feel some sort of achievement as well!” Johnny smiles softly, squinting as he looks up at the menu. You chuckled softly to yourself as you smiled up at him, watching him look confusedly at the overwhelming amount of options. You felt a ride of that same nervousness in your stomach that you felt when you first saw him, you looked down at the floor quickly as your face fell. You suddenly felt very unworthy of being in presence, but at the same time it’s the only place you wanted to be.

Unfortunately, one thing you forgot with frozen yoghurt was that you could not go into any of the clothes shops until you had finished. So for 20 minutes you had just been sitting at a table that belonged to the dumpling place, and you were worried you’d get kicked out and told off for sitting there but Johnny insisted you wouldn’t. You rushed eating your froyo out of fear and finished within 5 minutes, but Mr. Seo over here took so long that you did end up getting kicked from the table.

“I told you! I fucking told you!” You yell, pretending to be angry. All Johnny could do was laugh in response, feeling butterflies rise in his stomach seeing how cute you looked with your face scrunched up in anger. He wanted so badly to kiss your pouty lips right then and there.

You’d passed a lot of shops now; even went into a few that you thought had the vibe that you were looking for, but sadly none of them fit the vision of the outfit you had planned out in your head. Johnny was happily following you around like a big, loyal St. Bernard as you hastily rushed about, anxiety clearly building. You stopped by a virtual map, scrolling through the possible shops you could visit and feeling discouraged when you see majority of the possible options would most likely push you over budget, which was a very high budget that was hard to go over but if you bought all the items from a high end brand it would very easily cross over. You didn’t want to let yourself be visibly stressed out in front of Johnny but you weren’t exactly hiding it very well, he could very well tell that you were about to launch yourself from the barrier right next to you onto the floors of the shopping centre below. Instead of doing that however, you just banged your head very hard onto the screen of the map in front of you, arms falling limp beside your body as you sighed in frustration. Johnny bent down below you, looking up at your face.

“What’s got you stressed out? I mean, I know what the general issue is but what is the tiny little obstacle that you are struggling with right now?” He quietly asks. You huff again, lifting your head off the map and sitting on the bench next to it. Johnny quickly follows, barely having to get up to sit down next to you.

“I’m just completely lost, everything we’ve seen so far isn’t fitting the vision I have laid out in my head, not even close to the vibe. Am I just being too picky? I don’t know. I’m just that kind of person that if I can’t have or get exactly; or even close to what I’m thinking of in my head then it just sets me off and I feel like a complete failure” You vent, not even realising that you were rambling.

“No you’re not picky, it’s good that you can come up with an exact plan and vision to follow along with in your head, it’s not a bad thing. What is bad is feeling like a complete failure if you won’t be satisfied with any other possible outcome, that doesn’t make you a failure at all. You always have other options, even if they aren’t as good as the one you have planned out. There’s always other ways to get it as well, whether it be thrift shopping or just switching the colours or patterns around” Johnny puts his hand over yours, feeling his heart race suddenly spike, “I’m here to help in any way I can, if it’ll help you be less stressed”. You just stare back at him, head blank and wide eyed. Your head’s screaming at you to lean in closer; to touch him, to kiss him, but there’s absolutely no way in hell you’re doing that. Johnny; amidst his trance of staring into your soul, didn’t realise that his gaze had fallen to your lips, not realising that something was pulling him closer, inch by inch. Thankfully (to him), an idea suddenly popped into his head. He shook his head out of his trance and stood up quickly, reaching his hands out to yours.

“Get up, I have an idea” He says excitedly. You can practically see his imaginary St. Bernard tail wagging a mile a minute. You grab his hands and hesitantly lift yourself up as he pulls you, a wary look on your face. He starts walking whilst pulling you behind him, not letting go of your hand; in fact, he was holding it tighter than necessary.

“You’re not even gonna tell me what this idea of yours is?” You say, a little out of breath trying to keep up with this long strides.

“I want to be a little bit of a surprise, but let’s just say that it will be both a break and inspiration all at once” He giggles, not even slowing down to help you catch up.

“Johnny this is stupid! It’s unfair for you to be dressing me up when it should be me dressing you up! I can’t expect you to do this for me, it’s not your project” You yell at him from inside the dressing room as if he could even hear you, he’s probably running amuck on the other side of the store with the clothes racks.

“You’re not expecting anything, I’m offering honey” He surprisingly responds, throwing clothes over the door for you, “It’s to help ~inspire~ you”. You can hear his dumb smile in his tone. You just roll your eyes in response, not realising the barely visible smile creeping onto your face due to the fact he just called you ‘honey’ and the fact that he’s just so endearingly silly. You took the clothes from him and hung them up on the side of the cubicle. “Oh, I- Are you sure this will suit me?” You stutter, feeling a different kind of nervousness rise in your stomach. “Yes, trust me. I didn’t choose just any outfit” He soothes from the other side of the door. It was a very different feel and different look to your usual outfits, you dressed more smart casual most days. In jeans and crop tops or tucked in shirts or comfy breathable pants and cute comfy jumpers or hoodies and you religiously wore sneakers, whether they be chunky and fashionable or just comfy and cute. Sometimes you wore boots if you had somewhere to be just to jazz up the vibe a little. You always dressed well and fashionable, but it was always a comfier and casual kind unless it was an event or special occasion, then you jazzed it up of course but even then it was never this stand out. You hesitantly changed into the outfit, feeling a little unsure of how you would look. However, once you saw yourself in the completed look you felt a tiny bit better about it. It was flattering but you were just worried about what Johnny would think when he sees you in a not baggy, comfy for once. He’d never seen you with an outfit that actually looks like efforts been put into it than just quickly thrown on together in the morning. You were checking yourself out in the mirror, seeing how you looked from all angles and fixing your hair, seeing how you could wear it with this outfit. You really liked it honestly, you were already envisioning what jewellery you’d pair with it and what makeup look you’d do.

“Is it on?” Johnny asks from outside, he must’ve heard your heels moving around.

“Oh-yes… Did you want to see?” You quietly respond.

“Of course I do, silly”. You gulp nervously, suddenly feeling a little self conscious as you reluctantly walk to the door of the cubicle. You unlock it and open it slightly, sticking your head out first and feeling your heart jump seeing Johnny in front of you so suddenly.

“Just keep in mind that I’m not completely dolled up right now so it might look a bit odd” You warn, but he just rolls his eyes at you with a small smile. You slowly open the door wider and step out, walking out into the hallway along the change rooms and looking at yourself in the full length mirror at the end of it. The whole time, Johnny is just watching you with wide eyes, trying to stop his jaw from falling open.

“Wow… You look stu- I mean; you look… Cool?” Johnny cringes at himself as he tries to save himself but just makes it worse. You bite your lip, trying not to laugh at his embarrassment as he turns away with a face palm.

“Thanks?” You tease. He had chosen really well, seeing yourself from this distance made it look so much better. He had chosen a two piece with a subtle black and white tartan pattern sewed into it, the bottom half being high-waisted smart trousers that ended just under your ribs and flared out just a little around your ankles; the top half being a singlet cropped just above your ribs. He also chose some plain black, shiny stilettos to wear with it. Johnny came up behind you with a hand on your hip, startling you and quickly causing a blush to form on your cheeks at the feeling of his tall, broad body against yours. He slides a blazer over one of your arms, making you instinctively lift up your other one for him to slide the jacket on. Once it’s on you adjust it and pat it down, taking the view in; the view being Johnny looking at you in front of him in the mirror in awe and you screaming internally at him towering over you (and just at his general otherworldly beauty). He was rubbing your shoulders as he smiled proudly at you in the mirror, proud of his little creation.

“Wow…” He accidentally blurts out in a whisper. You try to hide the massive grin that forms on your face. You reach up and grab his hands that are on your shoulders and turn yourself around to face him.

“This has just made me sad, I love it so much but I can’t afford to buy it since I have to get your outfit” You pout, looking up at him.

“Well yeah, that’s why I’m buying it” Johnny cheekily grins.

“Uh, no you are not” You gasp.

“Uh, yes I am. Why else would I have even had you try it on?”

“To get ~inspired~ just like you said?”

“No- well yeah, but not just that! If I’m gonna look fine as hell at the showcase, so do you”

“Oh shush, you’re already ‘fine as hell’ as is. And again, it’s about you not me”

“Okay firstly, I know but so are you. I can’t be the only one flaunting my looks and showing everyone up, I need everyone to know the girl who made me look this good is also breathtaking herself” Johnny smirks. You blush, scrunching up your face in anger that you’re lost for words.

“Okay you win, but still I’d feel horrible if you just bought me a whole out-” Johnny cuts you off.

“Just be quiet and give the clothes to me” Johnny sighs, closing the cubicle door.

You tried to race Johnny to the register and pay for the outfit yourself but all he had to do was reach out his branchy arm to cut you off and give the cashier his credit card. You huff in frustration, feeling genuinely bad that Johnny did that for you; yes, it was out of his own choice and want but you still just feel bad when anyone spends money on you. You didn’t say another word as you walked out of the store.

“Don’t feel bad please, I promise you it’s fine I wanted to cheer you up and make you feel better. I also genuinely wanted you to have a nice outfit to wear, it hasn’t affected my bank account that badly I promise” Johnny pats your head.

“I know, but I just can’t help feeling it. Thank you though, I do appreciate the gesture and to be honest I didn’t really have any outfit to wear to the showcase, I didn’t even think that far for myself yet but yes, thank you, really” You grab his free hand and squeeze it. You feel a rush in your chest, why did you do that? You try to let go as a reflex but Johnny quickly tightens his grip. The rush fades to a feeling of content and you realise, you actually do feel more ~inspired~ and calmer now, a million ideas come rushing into your head at once.

“Let’s do this!” You cheer, raising your hand with Johnny’s and jumping in excitement. Johnny, even though he almost drops the bag from the sudden fright, looks at you with such endearment in his eyes.

The showcase was tomorrow night and you were facetiming Johnny, making him suffer with you in your stress breakdown and making him go through a checklist with you to make sure both of you had everything you needed. You were going to spend all of the morning getting ready and then photoshoots, videos, setup, interviews and practice runs all day before the actual event starts. It was going to be so stressful, not to mention you had to get up even earlier to get Johnny’s outfit back from the drycleaners. You should’ve been asleep right now but instead you were running rampant around your bedroom trying to get everything ready so you didn’t forget a single thing in the morning. Johnny wasn’t even saying anything, he was all rugged up in bed, almost falling asleep watching you.

“Are you sure you have absolutely everything ready for tomorrow?” You ask for the 6th time.

“Yes, I’m sure” Johnny mumbles, struggling to keep his eyes open, “You should go to sleep, baby. I don’t want you to be sleep deprived tomorrow and even more stressed out”. He didn’t even realise that the word ‘baby’ slipped out of his mouth in his half asleep state. You couldn’t even process it properly or react due to the fact you were sorting out all the makeup you’ll need to bring tomorrow.

“I know, but if this day doesn’t go 100% perfect I’ll be so devastated” You sigh.

“Nothing’s ever going to go 100% perfect honey, and that’s okay because that’s life” Johnny slurs, eyes completely closed at this point. These nicknames were catching you off-guard and you just shoved to the back of your mind to think about when you actually try to sleep. You sigh, looking over at Johnny on your phone, he looked so cute and cosy; his cheek squished up against his pillow, causing his plush lips to be all squished up too. You felt your heart melting at the sight, maybe you should just relax a little and go to sleep. If you were sleep deprived it would just make the stress even worse, you would have time in the morning to double check everything and get any last minute things together. You needed to take care of yourself, for Johnny’s sake. You put the last of your makeup into the separate bag and cleaned it all off your bed and slid under the covers, turning the lamp off. You weren’t sure whether to hang up or not, so you didn’t. You set your alarm on your alarm clock so that you could stay on the phone with Johnny. You snuggled into your covers, smiling softly to yourself as you watched Johnny sleep, even now he’s still so beautiful. “Goodnight, see you tomorrow” You whisper as you close your eyes even though he can’t hear you, feeling a ton of emotions about the next day to come.

“Here you go” you pant as you carefully place Johnny’s Starbucks order on the counter in front of him, out of breath from rushing to the coffee shop and back. Johnny gives you a big smile as you sit back on the counter, watching the stylist touch up his hair, you had to admit you were kind of envious that she actually had an excuse to be able to touch Johnny for long periods of time. Especially when he looked so pretty; BB cream making his already soft skin look so plush and dewy, the lip tint making his already kissable & luscious lips look 100 times more so. The subtle eyeshadow on his eyes was really natural and not that noticeable but at the same time it brought his eyes out more.

“Thank you, now please relax. Everything’s going well, it’s okay” Johnny soothes, patting and rubbing your knee with his free hand as his other held his drink. He’s right, the morning had gone smoothly and his photoshoot/video was done and now he was preparing for the practice run and for the interviewers that were about to show up. Everyone at the university was using this event for their big assessments as well, the media students, the photography/ videography students, the beauty students, etc. it had actually become a pretty prestigious event over the years so a lot of people and media outlets actually showed up. You weren’t even ready yet yourself, still dressed in a hoodie and jeans for now and you probably wouldn’t get ready until you were left rushing at the last minute. The makeup artist started to touch up Johnny’s lip tint and you hate to admit that you actually felt a tiny pang of jealously fire up in you, Johnny must’ve noticed the way you were frowning while watching her do her job and he gave you a smile and wink once she’d finished.

“Don’t be stressed alright, your job is over for now. I hate seeing you so stressed out” Johnny says quietly, not wanting to disturb the stylists and other people in the room.

“I know, but I’m just nervous that something will screw up last minute or that people just won’t like the look I went with and then I’ll embarrass you as well by doing th-” You ramble on. Johnny cuts you off by quickly snatching your hand into his.

“Shh, it will be fine. Stop overthinking it, you’re great and you’ve done an amazing job” Johnny soothes again, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. You sigh, realising that he is right, overthinking won’t do you any good and you just needed to remain calm and believe in yourself; and Johnny of course. You knew the outfit looked good, especially on Johnny, you had him try it on 5 different ways 10 different times before all this to reassure yourself it looked as good as it could.

“All models please make your way to the runway entrance and prepare yourselves for the practice run” The lady announces over the speaker suddenly, causing you both to nearly jump out of your skin.

“Okay, I’ll go and get myself dressed quickly and I’ll come and watch you” You rush as you both stand up, Johnny squeezing your hand tightly before reluctantly letting go, not letting you out of his gaze with a sweet smile as he walks backwards to the runway.

It was starting to get hectic as the show was only half an hour away now, people were running around everywhere in the dressing room and you hadn’t had a chance to see Johnny since he left for the practice run. You were all dolled up now, in the two piece and stilettos Johnny bought for you and your hair slicked back into a high pony. Your makeup was also more glamorous now along with the hoop earrings, lace choker and other more fancy-looking jewellery you had on. Your stomach turned with both intense excitement and nerves at the thought of seeing Johnny’s reaction to your new look. Thinking about Johnny, you really don’t understand how you were struggling to find him; better yet, how you lost him in the first place. He was literally the tallest person in the building. Looking at the time, you started to feel a little worried, half an hour to go and Johnny; the most prepared person, is nowhere to be found? You immediately pushed your way out of the dressing room and out into the venue. There was press and audience members everywhere and avoiding them and trying to push through them while looking for Johnny all at once was really overwhelming you. You were going to be so mad with Johnny when and if you find him. You made your way to the bar and café with no luck, you went outside to the front entrance and also outside to the creepy back area to find nothing in either of those places either. You were really starting to panic and be at a loss for where to look, you assume he was going to come back to where he was meant to be before the show actually starts, but you also didn’t want to risk it and needed to settle your nerves now. How could he do this to you when he knew how stressed you were about this? You were finally feeling calm and feeling good about how it was going to go and he does this, you’re really going to beat his ass when you see him. You go back inside and right when you enter you see the door to the staircase that takes you to the upstairs areas, would he really be hiding on a completely different floor? You would have no idea why but your gut was telling you that he was up there somewhere and you didn’t like that feeling. You felt nervous about what was about to happen even though you had no idea what it was.

You didn’t even bother checking every floor on your way up the stairs, you just went straight for the rooftop, it just made the most sense that if Johnny was anywhere up here, it’d be there; and if he wasn’t, then you’d give up. The other floors were completely empty and to be honest, quite creepy. Just not in use at all. You took off your stilettos to walk up the stairs because there was no way in hell you were going to walk up nearly 5 flights of stairs in heels, it was already hard enough with your very lacking lung capacity; you did not want to add broken ankles on top of that. When you finally reach the rooftop floor (after taking a little break to get some air back into your lungs), you open the door and walk out to the breeze instantly hitting your face. You look around to see Johnny standing near the edge, watching the view from behind the gate they had set up to stop any risk of anyone falling. As soon as your eyes find him you start angrily stomping towards him.

“Johnny Seo you’re a dead man”, he instantly turns around upon hearing your voice “how dare you just leave me stranded like that with 20 minutes now left before the show starts?!”. His jaw drops upon seeing you, eyes widening as he takes in your figure.

“Holy shit, I- you look fucking stunning” he gasps, forgetting any thoughts he had prior.

“Seriously Johnny, I’m really upset with you what the hell were you thinking? You know how much I was and am stressing over this whole thing and after calming me down and making me feel better about it you just walk off somewhere when you’re supposed to be ready? You’re really about to make not just you, but me look bad and unprofessional and jeopardise my entire course and career? I’m never forgiving you for this I’m-” You rant on, pushing Johnny’s comment and the butterflies rising in your stomach to the back of your mind.

“Shh, listen. I was going to come back if you didn’t come up here, obviously I wouldn’t just ditch the show and leave you there to clean up my mess. I knew you’d come up here to find me, it’s what I planned” Johnny reassures you, grabbing both your hands softly and rubbing the backs of them with his thumbs. You didn’t stop him.

“I-… What? What do you mean?” You say, completely lost.

“I mean; I can’t hold it in anymore. I know it probably wasn’t the best idea to just ditch you without any word…and I’m sorry for that, but as I said; I knew you’d come and find me up here and I just needed to be alone with you for a few minutes so I can get all of this of my chest. And out of my head. And just… I don’t know- I’m nervous and my minds jumbled now that you’re actually up here with me I really thought you wouldn’t find me and my heart is going to explode!” Johnny rambles on, it felt weird seeing him like this. Usually it was you doing this. You were really lost for words, just staring up at him confused and waiting for him to say what he wanted to. Exactly what you thought he was going to say. You knew exactly that this is what was going to happen before you even walked up those stairs. Your heart was racing and you felt like you were going to pass out any second. This wave of different emotions all at once was way too overwhelming. Johnny sighs, intertwining your fingers together as he pulls you closer to him as his gaze falls to the floor.

“I… like you. A lot. I have really immense feelings for you. And I hate it. Not because of you! I just fell for you so fast and usually it takes a while for me to like someone, especially this much but… You. You’re just so amazing in every way and you inspire me and encourage me. You make me feel motivated. Not to mention how cute you are”, he finally makes eye contact with you to see you biting your lip in a shy smile “so fucking cute”. He smirks as his gaze falls back down to the floor. You let go of his hands to wrap your arms around his shoulders and intertwine your own hands behind his neck, heels still hanging from your fingers. He sharply inhales as his heart rate increases greatly, wrapping his arms around your waist as he tries to hide how flustered he was feeling by playing it cool.

“Continue” you bite your lip with a smirk, tilting your head as you make eye contact. You don’t know where this rise of confidence came from, but you like it.

“And seeing you like this, so beautiful and…sexy”, he whispers, clearing his throat “really makes my heart race and makes me feel so…. God I’m trying so hard to be cool right now but I am failing so bad”. You giggle as he sighs in embarrassment, this cute side to him that you’ve never seen before was really making your heart seize up.

“Anyways, just seeing you so stressed out this assignment was really making me so sad and knowing that I helped you feel better and calm you down made me feel so genuinely happy. Seeing you like that was really hurting me and I felt like I was just making it worse but seeing you calm down from me holding your hand, like that’s all it took, really sealed the deal for me… That I like you I mean. Especially last night when you fell asleep on Facetime with me, you really just didn’t want to hang up so badly that you got ready for bed and fell asleep on call with me? Even though I was already asleep? God, that really made my heart so tingly and warm”, Johnny smiles so big reminiscing on that moment and you blush, you don’t even really know why you did that “but yeah I. I really like you and something tells me you like me too but I don’t know… I don’t know. I hope you do like me”. His smile slowly fades; not to a frown, but a look that was waiting, no, hoping for an answer without asking a single word. You didn’t even have a chance to say your answer before your body answered for you, standing on your tiptoes and your chin lifting up to softly connect your lips with his. At first, it was just the one kiss. You pulling away quickly, afraid that you acted too quickly and scared him off, but your worries are just as quickly soothed when, after the initial shock wore off, he tightens his arms around your waist to pull you in closer as he leans down to kiss you again. Still soft but with a bit more need, leading you through the kiss as he moves his lips against yours. One of your hands unknowingly slides down to his chest, pulling him in closer by the collar of his trenchcoat. His lips were just as soft as they looked, even with a needy kiss like this they felt so soft and delicate and the feeling of them moving in sync against yours was making your head so foggy, like you were floating amongst the clouds. Johnny pulls away with a pant, having to stop himself before he gets too carried away. He rests his forehead against yours as he snakes his arms up yours, pulling your hands down and holding onto them tightly.

“I really want to continue but, there’s 10 minutes until the show starts and we’re already going to get our asses handed to us as is”, Johnny sighs, a cheeky smile forming on his face “I also don’t want to have to walk the runway with a boner”. You roll your eyes and smack his chest, threatening to throw your heels at him.

“You deserve it, this is all your fault after all, if you just waited until after the show to give me that horrible, messy confession of your feelings, we wouldn’t be in this position” You taunted.

“That’s completely fair” He nods in agreement. You put your heels back on as you grab his hand and start to walk back down the stairs.

“Just to be clear though, I would like to continue after the shows all wrapped up. Please” You stop, looking up at him halfway down the stairs. He rolls his eyes at you with a smirk.

“Of course”

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theworldinclines · 4 years

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yo! i've been following your tumblr mostly just for cql because aha :^) you know how it is :^) but it's left a void in my chest. i know you rb a lot of content for other shows, so i figured i'd ask you for some recs (and the best places to watch them uwu)!! thanks so much i'd die for u

Hello anon!! I totally get you 💀 I’m gonna assume that you want me to rec BLs, so I’ll tell you only the ones that I’ve liked best and why, where I watched them, and possible trigger warnings as well for you :)

So first up is my favorite: Theory of Love

Who stars in it: Off Jumpol (as Kai) and Gun Atthaphan (as Third), aka OffGun, aka icons and best friends who we stan to this very day

Why I recommend: I adore this show for so many reasons but overall the vibe is just so good dfhkhkhj It references like a trillion rom-coms and I won’t spoil it but there is a literal montage of some classic rom-com scenes done by the main characters that is just so fucking hysterical, I cry every time. There’s also a compilation here of movie posters that they recreated to imitate some classic rom-coms as well, which made me DIE from emotions I tell you what. This show is just so funny and makes fun of itself with characters that you genuinely grow to adore. Kai is a chaotic dumb of ass bisexual and we love him in this house (as infuriating as he can be lmfao). It’s so rewatchable GOD 10/10 would recommend.

Warnings: There is no sexual abuse in the show of any kind, except for one scene that is just a kiss and very mild, so I think you’d be all good there. :)

Where to watch: I watched it on YouTube! Here’s the link to episode one part one

History3: Trapped

Who stars in it: Jake Hsu (plays Shao Fei) and Chris Wu (plays Tang Yi), aka weirdos who can’t stop laughing while filming and being dumb in general and I love that for them and me

Why I recommend: I loved it. The main couple is adorable with so much chemistry and I will be totally honest, they remind me SO MUCH of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Like on the rewatch I just did of this show, I couldn’t believe the similarities the character Shao Fei has to Wei Wuxian and his counterpart Tang Yi has to Lan Wangji. Like. When I tell you I was shook the house, I mean it. But the side couple is ALSO iconic the house and the CUTEST like if you don’t want to adopt Zhao Zi and also officiate his wedding by the show’s end, I’d be shocked dfhhkghdjkl All in all, it’s such a funny show with very tender, heartfelt moments that are to die for. This show has it all: plot twists, cops falling in love with mobsters and vice versa, a character whose goal in life is to just eat as much good food as possible… amazing.

Warnings: The show has fighting and violence but seeing as you watched The Untamed, I’m assuming you’re okay with it lol There is an instance where one character tries to rape one of the leads by drugging him, so keep an eye out for that, but I think it will be obvious because he starts to pass out and you will know whether you feel you have to skip the scene or not. He isn’t undressed, it isn’t anything remotely graphic, but he is groped by the asshole I won’t name man fuck that guy but that’s all!

Where to watch: I watched it on newasiantv, link to ep1 here

Dark Blue Kiss

Who stars in it: Fluke Gawin Caskey (Mork) and Podd Suphakorn (Sun) aka two of the most gorgeous and sweet dudes alive fdhgldfhgdk AND BL vets, New Thitipoom (Kao) and Tay Tawan (Pete)

First off: dshhgdksj If you haven’t seen Kiss Me Again or Kiss the Series you might be a little confused. Dark Blue Kiss is sort-of-a-continuation-but-not-really of those other two series, and it sort of adds to the experience if you have seen them. If you want to, just watch Kiss Me Again and I think you’ll be okay honestly; it’s just because you might want context of the characters (Pete and Kao, their friends etc.) and their relationships to one another going into Dark Blue Kiss.

Why I recommend: NOW two of the leads, Sun and Mork, have one of The Best relationships in any BL I’ve ever seen because they have real conversations and have real conflict and issues that they work to get through. Rain (Sun’s younger bro and Mork’s bestie) is an absolute delight and their story arc throughout the show is so iconic we just have to stan. I won’t get into Kao and Pete fhhkhdj because I just have Opinions on fucking w characters/relationships for the sake of drama and that’s what I think this series did to them, unnecessarily ahem But otherwise it’s funny and real and again if you dont literally love Mork and Rain and Sun by the end of it did you even watch the same show???

Warnings: There is a brief scene where one character tries to get w another who is like get tf AWAY weirdo lmfao but there is no actual abuse bc they are stopped well in time to avoid it

Where to watch: I watched Dark Blue Kiss on newasiantv as well because the episodes on YouTube tended to not get subbed as quickly as I wanted which you will understand if you watch this lmao. Here is the link to episode one of Kiss Me Again as well as a link to episode one of Kiss the Series if you feel like watchin those two beforehand

Tharntype the Series

Who stars in it: Gulf Kanawut (Type) and Mew Suppasit (Tharn) aka those two guys who you might see do a shit ton of fanservice that I diligently ignore because I hate fanservice lol This show exists in the same universe as another BL that I am reluctant to put on here lol but will get into later on.

Why I recommend: BEFORE YALL FLAY ME ALIVE djkhgldhgfdjhhkjd OKAY LISTEN genuinely, on a very real level, I FULLY understand why a lot of people here refused to watch this show or couldn’t finish it. You’re totally valid and legit I almost stopped after ten minutes because I was like here we go AGAIN. However! I was so drawn in by the acting that I wanted to give it a chance, and I’m SO GLAD that I did. Gulf and Mew, as well as Mild (who plays Techno) and Kaownah (who plays Lhong) and everyone else who acts in this show, is incredible and their chemistry is insane. I would say it’s some of the best chemistry and acting I’ve seen, BL or otherwise. You get angry at the two main characters interchangeably and I truly feel that that makes it real, you know what I mean? There is no oh he’s in the right, fuck that other guy 100% for either of them. They are both real, flawed men who grow so immensely throughout this series where by the end you’re so proud of their development and the love they find for themselves and in each other??? Because it doesn’t feel like we’ll get there, but they DO. And it’s BEAUTIFUL. We’re getting a second season, which to me is always a tad worrisome because I do think it ended very well and if they fuck with everything (cough KaoPete) just to fuck with it and stir the pot I’m gonna be Upset. But for now, it’s amazing and speaks on topics that aren’t ever addressed. It’s an unfortunate reality in BL that the way so many relationships begin is through sketchy-consensual (drunk, coerced) or flat out like non consensual sexual shit, and this show dives into the aftermath of sexual abuse, the mental impact that has on a person, and how damaging it can be if left unattended. I would give it a chance. I really do think it’s a well done series. Oh and Techno is so relatable and the only one with a brain cell in this show half the time jkdfhhdlkj

Warnings: Like I said, this show is not an easy watch at times. Very often, in fact, it can be difficult. There is homophobic language, two of the characters (I dont want to spoil everything) have been raped in the past, one as a child (which is NOT GRAPHICALLY SHOWN, don’t worry) and the other as a teenager/young adult, which is sort of shown but not in too much detail. Another character in present day “does stuff” to another that isn’t totally consensual, more than once (which is probably my biggest problem with the show and the one thing I really can’t excuse because like bro I don’t care how big your crush is, don’t be an asshole, point blank), but every other sexual thing in the show is consensual and very much wanted

Where to watch: Here is episode one on newasiantv if you want to give this a shot :)

He’s Coming to Me

Who stars in it: Singto Prachaya (Mes) and Ohm Pawat (Thun) aka just two adorable boys

Why I recommend: This show definitely has one of the more unique plots among BLs. I won’t spoil it, and as with all of these I recommend going in without looking up plots because like I know for me movie trailers etc just tell me everything and there doesn’t seem to be a point in watching the movie if I know so much beforehand. The main characters are cute together, there are funny moments and moments that make you cry. And it’s a happy ending, which we love to see :)

Warnings: There is a major character death, no blood though, and you will understand in context that it isn’t as bad as it seems right now lol Nothing that isn’t consensual, which is a miracle in these shows. Overall wholesome content. There is like a weird storyline with one of the character’s moms which was Different to say the least dfjhdflhgkjf but it didn’t ruin the show for me or anything

Where to watch: newasiantv seems to be my go-to lmao

3 Will Be Free

Who stars in it: Joss Way-Ar (Neo), Mild Lapassalan (Miw), and Tay Tawan (Shin). If you watch Dark Blue Kiss or any of those before this, you will recognize Tay and Mild as Pete and Sandee (just friends in those shows). Joss is just such a funny, sweet guy and so is Tay Lowkey biased for them and I honestly often favor TayJoss’ chemistry over TayNew, which I think is controversial lmfaoo but it has to be said lol and obviously Mild is a badass actress and talent so having her here is amazing

Why I recommend: So this is the only BL thus far to feature a polyamorous relationship, which is sort of crazy but I’m so happy it’s been done at least once now. The three have such amazing chemistry and you really grow to care for each of them as individuals as well. They’re just really awesome and I adore them and miss them every day fdjghfdglhkjd There’s also a trans actress!! :D

Warnings: There is quite a bit of gun violence bc one of the character’s father’s is a mob boss. Two side characters are killed, one much further into the show so it hurts even MORE, and one of the other side characters therefore to me doesn’t receive the ending they deserve; it was very messy and I think they deserved better. A woman is in an abusive marriage to a man, which sucked and I skipped a lot of it even though it wasn’t necessarily super violent. I just don’t like that stuff ://

Where to watch: Surprise surprise, newasiantv

Until We Meet Again

Who stars in it: Fluke Natouch (Pharm) and Ohm Thitiwat (Dean), Earth Katsamonnat (Intouch) and Nine Noppakao (Korn). Fluke and Earth invented being friends like……they are so fucking cute and they are both actually queer (have been in public relationships with men) which is always so rare to see and really great :)

Why I recommend: Side couple TeamWin is absolutely iconic. I adore them with my whole body so if for nothing else, watch it for them LMAO But for real InKorn is such a cute couple and PharmDean has a very nice relationship too; they talk about consent and have healthy communication which is so refreshing lmao

Warnings: The show does open with a double suicide by gunshot. I won’t say who, but it is in there. The two main characters have flashbacks/PTSD/nightmares (one worse than the other) which you will understand in context if you watch, but it’s definitely worth the watch

Where to watch: This show is currently airing and I watch it on YouTube; here’s the link to episode one part one

Love By Chance

Who stars in it: Perth Tanapon (Ae) and Saint Suppapong (Pete), Mean Phiravich (Tin) and Plan Rathavit (Can). This is the show that is in the same universe as Tharntype, but the actors who play Techno, Tharn, and Type are different actors in this show than from Tharntype. It’s confusing and messy lol

Warning: I’m putting this before the why I like it because I think it’s necessary for this one. I hesitate to even put LBC on here because there is so much of this show that just makes me uncomfortable. When I first watched this show, the second BL I had ever watched, I had no knowledge of BLs, the actors, or really anything to do with any of this world. So, having grown up with film/tv life where every actor is 27 playing 17, it didn’t occur to me that the actor playing 18 would in fact be 17 instead. Perth was I think 17 or possibly 18 while filming (I don’t know exact dates), which includes sexual scenes that I didn’t even feel comfortable watching BEFORE I knew his age, let alone trying to rewatch the series while knowing about it. I am 20, and was 19 last year when I watched this, so it really skeeves me out to watch those kinds of scenes (BL or otherwise) if actors or actresses aren’t at least 18 or 19. It seems weird because I’m 20 and a queer girl, not like a 50 year old pedophile or something like that, but for my own comfort I tend to skip the more explicit stuff. On my first watch, I skipped the Tharntype, TumTar, and Techno storyline because frankly I didn’t care. Going on to watch Tharntype the Series, I was even happier to have skipped so that I didn’t have to go in with a preconceived idea of the characters from having watched LBC. One of the characters in this version of events is raped or coerced into sex; I don’t even know the details because I just couldn’t be bothered to give it a chance. I firmly believe you can watch this show without watching any of their storylines (and skipping over the more sexual stuff, if you feel you have to), which I know sucks to say bc the actors are all good and I like their other work and them as people, but I just couldn’t do it. It is of course up to you.

Why I recommend: Basically I recommend this just for TinCan lmao and on the chance that you do decide to watch Tharntype, it pays at the end to have a knowledge of the LBC characters because again they are in the same universe and it won’t be as cool if you don’t get it right away like WHAT!!! You know haha so yeah There is going to be a season two dropped sometime this year, focused I believe on TinCan, so I’m literally so fucking excited. Dreams are coming true

Where to watch: I found this show on both Dailymotion and newasiantv

Hey again anon it’s been a minute dfhlhghjd I’m sure this is way longer than you thought and probably don’t want HA but I wanted to be as thorough as possible for you and anyone else who might be new here you feel So some shows I didn’t get into that I watched include Great Men Academy, Together With Me, 2Moons and 2Moons2, Love Sick, ’Cause You’re My Boy (aka My Tee), History3: Make Our Days Count, SOTUS the Series, History2: Crossing the Line, (currently airing) Why R U?, and 2gether.

If you get through the ones I talked about above and want me to talk about these other ones, I’ll do that too!! I hope this helps you and others :D ✌️ ✌️

#answered #bl recs #recs

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agentmarymargaretskitz · 5 years

Text

Rip Week Day 3: Transference

(Or how Rip Hunter brought Gary to the Bureau. Inspired by Humans and Agents of SHIELD)

AO3

“Is everything ready to go?”

The lead scientist nodded in response to Rip’s question. “Director Hunter, please remember this is entirely experimental. This might not be successful.”

“I am well aware of that,” Rip sighed as he stared at the sheet covering the body on the slab. “The body will be able to sustain the consciousness?”

“Again, this is experimental. We are wading right into uncharted territory.”

Rip nodded. “You’re correct. Let’s get this started.”

He set the containment box on the table and opened it. Looking at the core reminded him of how far he had come from being a cadet for the Time Masters to the director of the Time Bureau. It had been a long and painful journey, but he had survived so far. Gary had been a good AI and it was fortunate that some of the remaining Time Masters had rescued him for Bureau use. Still, there was a sliver of guilt knowing he was using Gary as a test subject to see if this process was viable.

“Gary?” he asked, activating the AI. “Are you awake?”

“Hello, Captain Hunter,” the AI replied. “Updating systems…Director Rip Hunter of the Time Bureau. It has been a long time.”

A smile crept across Rip’s face. “Indeed, it has. Listen, we’re going to try something with you. Think of it as being uploaded to a new ship…except not quite that. It could hurt a bit.”

“Artificial Intelligence cannot feel pain.”

Rip’s smile fell as he set the core in the uploader. “That’s the spirit.”

He and the other scientists retreated out of the room and into the observation chamber. The machine connecting Gary to the new human body fired up. Everyone leaned a little closer to the glass, curious to see what would happen. Sparks flew and the body jerked twice before it stopped. Rip opened the door despite the head scientist’s protests to see if it had worked. As he approached the table, the body on it sat upright and the sheet covering it slipped down.

“Gary?” Rip asked cautiously, studying the curly-haired man staring around the room with large brown eyes. “Can you hear me?”

“Director Hunter,” the AI nodded, bringing his hands up and studying them. “I felt pain. I feel cold. What’s happened?”

“You’re human, Gary. Welcome to the Time Bureau.”

~~~

“Perfect marksmanship,” Rip complemented as the target was brought in. “Gary, that’s incredible.”

“I am artificial intelligence,” Gary replied. “I know the mechanics of the weapons and the way in which they are used. Then I can calculate trajectory, distance, and any opposing factors acting on the bullet and-”

“I know, Gary,” Rip patted his shoulder. “You’ll be field ready soon, although we need to find you a last name.”

“Are you going to make other AIs human?”

Rip hadn’t expected that question. “I would like to. We still have some that were saved from the Vanishing Point.”

“Did you save Gideon?” Gary asked, reloading the clip. “You were always partial to her.”

“She’s still aboard the Waverider, but is deactivated,” Rip told him honestly. “You’re the first of something new, Gary. We want to make sure everything is okay before we upload other artificial intelligences into human bodies. If things go well with you, and I hope they will, then the others will also get human bodies, Gideon included.”

Truth be told, he had deactivated Gideon partially because he knew she wouldn’t approve of him using Gary as an experiment. She would have been too eager to volunteer, but he was too selfish to let that happen. If something went wrong, he would rather it happen to another AI first.

“I hope that I’m successful,” Gary told him. “I don’t want to be the only one of my kind like this.”

“Don’t worry, Gary,” Rip assured her. “You won’t be alone.”

~~~

“Gary?”

Gary looked up quickly. “Hello, Director Hunter. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Just wanted to check in,” Rip took a seat across from Gary’s desk. “I heard there was a problem during the training exercise today.”

“There was. It was already addressed in the debrief.”

“Gary,” Rip leaned forward on the desk. “In the exercise, you caused what’s equivalent to cabin depressurization. The drop was so extreme that had it been real, Time Agents would have died instantly.”

“I know, and I’m-I’m sorry,” Gary stammered. He’d never done that before.

“Are you feeling alright, Gary?” Rip asked, knitting his brows as he took in the messy space on the desk. “You can tell me.”

The human AI’s smile was shaky. “I feel fine.”

Rip pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. However, the messy state of Gary’s desk was telling him things were otherwise. A week ago, everything was filed neatly and properly. Now, papers were askew across the desk, disorganized even by human standards. Even more so, the writing on them was not always English consistently. One sentence would be, but then next was in something completely different. German, Japanese, Russian, Swahili, even something that looked like the language of the Speed Force.

Something wasn’t right.

~~~

It took another week and a half before things got out of hand. Gary started talking and rambling to himself, going off about things related and unrelated to the Bureau. After they discovered him writing timeline events along the bathroom walls, something had to be done. So Rip and the team of scientists working on the AI integration project had to pull him from active duty and keep him in containment for observation. Things had not improved much since then. He was still writing in different languages and babbling in them, although his vision was starting to show decline.

“We thought the integration worked fine, but we underestimated the informational capacity of artificial intelligence residing in a human brain,” the lead scientist told Rip as they watching Gary writing in French about a unicorn massacring people at Woodstock, which aside from being preposterous, had never occurred. “There’s too much information in his head. He can’t cope with all his knowledge acquired from when he was just a core. Coupled with the experience of adjusting to a human body, it’s creating a traumatic environment for him. If we keep him like this and the rate of decline remains the same, he will eventually die.”

“So what do we do to help?”

“We have to terminate the project, which unfortunately means terminating Gary.”

“No,” Rip snarled, whirling away from where he was watching Gary. “We aren’t killing him. He’s not an AI anymore. He is a human being who can feel pain and is suffering because of my idea. There has to be another way.”

The scientist sighed. “We still have to terminate the project, but there might be a way to save him.”

“Tell me.”

“There’s experimental technology that targets brainwaves. It can be used to rewrite memories, specifically traumatic ones. In theory, if we develop a treatment procedure for Gary, we stop the decline by making him forget about this ordeal. He’ll believe he was always human.”

“But what about his memories from when he was an AI?” Rip questioned, looking back to Gary, who had changed over to Korean. “Will he have those?”

“It was a traumatic procedure and adjustment period,” the scientist sounded apologetic. “Director, he’s going to have to forget everything about being an AI. We basically tried to upload a file that was too big for submission. We have to compress and trim information away to fit within the constraints of the human brain. Should this work, he will be very intelligent by human standards, but he will not retain AI memories. Instead, we need to manufacture memories of childhood and adulthood in his brainwaves, so he doesn’t become suspicious.”

Rip’s heart sank. In order to save Gary, they were going to have to take away what made him so unique. He and Gary would no longer have that shared connection of the Time Masters, of Miranda. But was that connection worth it if it was driving Gary insane? He hated making calls like these when no option was the ideal pick.

“How long will it take for you to rewrite his memories?” he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Not to mention get all the necessary equipment you need?”

“If my team works around the clock, probably a week.”

“Then do it,” Rip ordered. “After we rewrite his memories, the project is to be terminated. No more AI uploads, no more bodies. It’s too much for them. I already took their home away from them. I shouldn’t be taking anything else.”

~~~

“Gary, I need to tell you something.”

Gary put down the marker he’d been writing with and turned to stare at Rip. The glasses they’d given him to help with his vision made him look somewhat owlish. While the memory rewrite was going to help him, it couldn’t fix his vision even if it did stop the degradation. But Rip had to admit they did suit him.

“It’s about what’s wrong with me, isn’t it?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Rip nodded. “I shouldn’t have forced you into a human body. Gideon’s wanted one, but I didn’t know if it would work or not. So I used you first to see if it would work, and if I could replicate the process with her and other AIs. But I bit off more than I could chew, and you got hurt.”

“There’s too much in here,” Gary said in Swedish, pointing to his head, making Rip glad he still had a universal translator.

“Yeah. AI brains aren’t meant for human bodies. That’s why you started making mistakes and writing about the timeline.”

“You need to be careful of Zambesi.”

“I’ll try to remember that. We’re going to stop the writing, Gary. There’s a machine that’s going to lock onto your brainwaves and give you your life back. You can live as a human and be okay. Unfortunately, there are going to be side effects.”

“It makes me forget I’m an AI,” Gary finished. “I have to forget if I want to live.”

“You do want to live, right?” Rip asked softly, mentally kicking himself for not even thinking to ask for Gary’s input sooner. “I don’t want to force you into something that makes you miserable.”

“I want to be human,” Gary answered. “I liked being human before this happened. I’m not ready to die.”

Rip smiled, remembering how Gideon had told him something similar long ago. “That’s good, Gary. I’m happy to hear that.”

“I like the Time Bureau. You’re a good leader here. You’re much better than the Time Masters, Captain Hunter.”

“I haven’t been captain for a long time, Gary.”

“Gideon still thinks so,” Gary told him. “AIs were linked. She always saw you as her captain, no matter what. Even while she’s sleeping, she still thinks you as the captain.”

He chuckled. “Of course she does. We’ve known each other too long.”

“Don’t make her human,” Gary warned him. “Not unless you can perfect this process. No more uploads.”

“We’re not going to,” Rip promised. “I’m sorry, Gary. I know I promised you wouldn’t be alone, but you’re going to be one of a kind after all. Although there is one last thing we can do for you.”

“Tell me.”

“When you’re human, you’ll need a last name. We didn’t quite get to that stage yet before this happened, but we’ll need one for the construction of your human memories.”

Gary was silent for a moment. “Green.”

“Green?”

“Time Master Yasmin Green was my first operator. She was like you; driven, resilient, kind. It’d be a fitting tribute to her.”

“Gary Green,” Rip murmured. “That’s a good name. Suits you.”

“Thank you,” Gary grinned slowly. “This is the last time I’m going to see you while I remember, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so. They’re going to start putting you through the procedure within the hour. After that, we’ll be like strangers…meeting for the first time. At least, that’s what it’ll be like for you.”

“But I’ll be alive. I might lose most of my knowledge, but I’ll be sane again with my mind back. Don’t worry. Just do one thing for me.”

“Tell me.”

“Look after Gideon and the others.”

“She’s very capable of watching herself,” Rip reminded him. “Her language, not so much.”

“I’m aware that my sister isn’t helpless. Still, make sure she’s okay.”

“I will,” the former Time Master promised, standing up from the chair he’d been in. “Goodbye, Gary.”

“Goodbye, Captain Hunter.”

Rip couldn’t help but give him one quick hug before turning his back and walking out the door. As soon as he was in the clear, he ducked into the bathroom and closed a stall door behind him. He inhaled, exhaled, then wound up his arm and punched the metal door. The AI who had brought Miranda and him together was going to be gone soon. He’d still be there, but it would be a different Gary to get to know and it wouldn’t be the same. Yet again, Rip had lost someone from his life.

He couldn’t face Gideon with this. She could never know what he’d done to Gary. He was too ashamed of what he’d done.

Gritting his teeth, he continued to punch the door until his knuckles bled. He deserved the pain.

~~~

Two weeks later

“Agent Green, there’s someone here to see you.”

“Me?” Gary Green frowned as the agent left as quickly as they’d come. No one ever wanted to see him. If the FBI needed analytics consult, they went to Hudson or McKenna. Never him.

“You must be Agent Green,” the clean-shaven man who had been brought in was smiling at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Uh, yeah, Gary Green,” he held out his hand, forgetting that he had been using it to balance his coffee mug on the files and nearly dousing himself in hot coffee. “Sorry, I’m a little clumsy. Can I help you with something?”

“Yes, but not here.”

Gary frowned. “I thought you were here for a case? We have everything on the computer.”

“No, not quite that,” the man shook his head. “My name’s Rip Hunter. I’m here to offer you a job within my agency.”

“You’re not FBI?”

Rip Hunter chuckled, but there was something sad in it. “We operate much broader than the FBI. Trust me, I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say about the Time Bureau.”

“Time Bureau?” Gary raised an eyebrow. “Never heard of it.”

“You will soon. A man of your talents would be a much better asset to the world instead of being stuck in the FBI’s basement.”

Gary looked around the room before nodding. “Okay. But…why me?”

“I have a good feeling about you. Is there somewhere private we can talk?”

“Um, yeah,” Gary pushed his glasses up. “The break room’s empty right now. And I know this is weird, but did you use to work here? Because there’s something familiar about you. Are you getting that too?”

Rip Hunter paused for a long moment before shaking his head. “I’m afraid we’ve never met before, Agent Green.”

#rip hunter #rip week #gary green #legends of tomorrow #i am so sorry #angst #fanfiction

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madeahashofit · 5 years

Text

My Kung Fu

One of the benefits of having a kid is the opportunity to read with them: brand new books; stories you have known all your life; stories you wished you had read. It’s a chance for you to grow and learn as a family.

Before reading it together, I had known the broad outlines of the Zen koan, Banzo’s Sword. It’s the story of a young man, desperate to impress his father, finds the sword master Banzo and insist Banzo train him. Banzo agrees. The young man asks how long it will take to become a master. Bazo tells him a lifetime. Too long, the young man says. He tries to bargain with Bazo, offers to be his servant, and with every offer the time to mastery grows. Eventually, the young man realizes that he can’t get to mastery without putting in the work and being patient. I recommend that you read Bazo’s tale here.

This is also the plot to Karate Kid.

***

I fell in love with the X-Files in it’s second or third season, in dark basement in Centreville, Virginia. A friend introduced me to Mulder and Scully and the Consipracy through her brother’s library of VHS recordings off the air. We went our separate ways – college in different states – but I kept up with the X-Files until the end and I have all seasons on DVD – except, strangely, Season 4.

Viewers may remember the The Lone Gunman. Byers, Frohike, and Langly were allies of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully, who ran The Lone Gunman, a publication that explored conspiracy theories (i.e., Lee Harvey Oswald was either a patsy or part of a larger conspiracy, the was filmed by Stanley Kubric on a soundstage in Hollywood, Extraterrestrials walked among us. ). They provided what could be charitably described as “operational support” for Mulder and Sculley, including legwork, photography, and hacking/phreaking, in service of the Agent’s search for the truth in the alien invasion conspiracy.

Sometimes they got up to their own shenanigans.

I do prefer the one-off X-File episodes over the Conspiracy, if only because the Conspiracy was bleak. Check out Jose Chung’s “From Outer Space” or Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man.

It Sure Is.

Another, Unusual Suspects is the Mulder/Gunmen origin story. In a scene with a character, “Holly,” who is running from the Cigarette Smoking Man, when she asks him about his hacking skills, Frohike tells her that his “Kung Fu is the Best.” The phrase, a kung fu film trope and well-worn in-group code from the black-trench-coat-and-combat-boot nerds, struck in my brain. I liked it so much at the time that I added it as my signature on my home printed business cards.

I seriously I thought that was sufficient to will myself to success (whatever that means) without having to actually put in any work. I had no patience. Success as a writer would find me.

***

I’ve had a lot of jobs since college and no explicit plan other than to be a kick ass novelist: Sales Associate, early morning chyrons for major market TV, secretary, program coordinator, and secretary. I thought the novel would come by magic and my future set. Eventually I decided to turn the only skill that I spent any time actually working on and turn it into a corporate career. I took a certificate in Technical Writing and through the power of nepotism found a job doing that for a small software company.

And over the last 13 years the job grew far outside that specific title. The knowledge I built up writing about our software products made it natural that I should also do pre- and post- sales. And live trainings. Marketing material. Trade shows. We were part of a much smaller company then and everyone did what they needed to do to move things forward. Honestly, I really liked it. I like having a skill or knowledge people appreciate. Still, nearly everyone who’s ever known me longer than 5 minutes thinks it strange that I’m a damned good capitalist.

I had no explicit plan. I took opportunities as they came (opportunities that are only available to a select few, I remind myself; I’m a stupid lucky human being) and eventually found something I genuinely liked to do.

My kung fu is just okay.

***

That friend popped up on my radar a few years ago. I happened upon an article she wrote about her distrust of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop. We reconnected on Twitter. Soon, she found global internet fame from her piece on Brigid Hughes, the second editor of the Paris Review, and how she was erased from the history of that publication by that publication and, among others, the New York Times. She advocates for the remembrance and recognition of women in the arts, especially those who have been edited out. She started a quarterly journal and a bookstore, as a single mom, an American living in the UK.

And if you were not paying attention, while her success might seem as the work of magi, she has made a series of explicit choices large and small that move her to her goal. Choices invisible to all but those who care the most. But as she will tell you – and has told others who make the same assumption – she’s put in the hours building her knowledge, skills, and “brand.” She’s put in the work on her kung fu.

***

This is not the same scale. I’m not shining a light on long suppressed, yet fantastic, women authors. I want to build software that makes life just a little bit easier. I don’t want to disrupt life; I want to help smooth out the bumpy trail so we can all get to where we need to be.

I’ve put in 13 years. I’ve got some skills. My kung fu is not the best. Not yet.

I starting my third week of a 15 week Coding Boot Camp at Flatiron. With the support of my family and an okay from my supportive boss, I am taking Vacation/Leave to learn to code, to add that skill to my set of tools. When I finish, I will be armed with the skills to help me be closer to that kung fu mastery that I wanted to advertise on that cheap business card nearly a quarter century ago.

To some, this may seem like a giant, brave (or insane) leap into the unknown. To all those who love me the most, this is the next, small logical step in my pursuit of happiness and some kick-ass moves.

First Published Here http://thisiswhatyougetwhenyoumesswithus.com/2019/05/27/my-kung-fu/

by Robert Pedersen

#cigarette smoking man #coding #flatiron #kick-ass #kung fu #mulder #ruby #scully #x-files

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bichhebetalkin · 6 years

Text

I’d like to talk about Nathan Drake and how I think he’s gay (and other things)

I will preface this with the fact that I have not yet played Lost legacy (and I’m not likely to play golden abyss...), and I also have not interacted much with interviews/fan theories/fan analyzations or anything like that. I’m kinda just typing my opinions out. I’ve just played the four games and thought about it a lot.

I would love it for people to interact and respond-- I’d love some second opinions on anything I post. This post won’t get graphic, but it will mention inner turmoil and canon-typical violence. (and like, I’m talking about the marriage a bit too)

1823 words

“I learned the past is not the past, a lump of time you can quarantine and forget about, but a reel of film in your brain that keeps rolling, spooling and unspooling itself regardless of whether or not you are watching it.”

--Nick White How to Survive a Summer

First of all

This is just my homely opinion, but in the first Uncharted game, Nathan Drake is some kind of a douche. Uncharted 2 is such an upgrade in several ways, and that includes an upgrade in Nathan’s character. I won’t rant too long, but I am certainly glad they fixed all that. Drake was an asshole who only cared for treasure, and he barely even flinched at Sully’s death and was ready to “beat sully’s ass” upon rescuing him. But whatevs, I won’t criticize too much since it was the first game and they might not have had the characters pinned down yet. A rough start to one of my favorite game series, and one that I will pretty much disregard in this post. If this seems harsh... I’m sorry.

The Marriage between Elena and Nathan

We should all rename Uncharted Everyone is a dick to Nathan and Nathan is sometimes a dick to Elena

If you’re into mystic messenger and you read my only other post on this blog, you’ll know that I have... a couple thoughts on love and what it all means anyway. I want to start this off by saying I love both Nathan and Elena very much! They are truly great characters that I admire and adore. Despite this, their relationship just isn’t something I can believe in. A lot of their relationship progress is done in between games, which kinda makes the audience a little unable to gauge like, what the fuck is going on.

somewhere between Game one and two, the pair is dating. By the time we get to Uncharted 2, though, it’s clearly and on-again-off-again kinda thing. We also meet Chloe, Nathan’s.... pal from the past (?). He risks a lot to save her, but I get the impression that the feelings he had for her were not as serious as the ones he has for Elena. I know it was supposed to be presented as a love triangle, but it just didn’t feel like it. Nathan and Chloe both kinda seemed like they weren’t at all interested in pursuing each other seriously. I honestly kind of appreciated this; Instead of the cliche fight between the women, Elena and Chloe seemed to get along in the end, despite some tension.

Between the second game and the third game Elena and Nathan got married (1)(wait what?) and split up again. I don’t know if they were actually divorced or just separated, but the point is that they aren’t together by the time the third game begins. Finally, between the third game and the fourth game, They are living the domestic lifestyle. They both have legal jobs where they don’t have to kill anyone and they can make it home for dinner. Seems perfect.

Or at least, it would seem perfect if I thought it would last at all. Nathan hasn’t really had a significant relationship with any woman like. ever? (2). On-again-off-again means that they have to go off again at some point. If you pay some attention to dialogue it’s obvious that it’s Nate that breaks it off each time, or he at least he initiates it. When he lies to Elena in the fourth game, she admits that she almost didn’t come to save him. I have a shit ton of empathy and let me tell you that dynamic drove me buckwild I almost couldn't stand it. When Elena confronts Nathan in the hotel room and Nathan sent both Elena and sully away, I wanted to scream. (3) (what are you doing Nate these people love you)

It is also in this scene that we are reminded that Elena doesn’t know about Sam-- at all. That is... an insanely huge part of Nathan’s past, and he just never brought it up? Do they talk about anything at all? For many of Nathan’s formative years, he had to lie about his identity (and likely other things), so I get why Lying would be a tough-to-break habit for him, but Elena is his wife. Just how well do they know each other?

The on-again-off-again dynamic is not stable enough for a serious relationship, and certainly not a marriage (4). And like I said earlier, Nathan is the initiator in the break offs each time. What is he running from? A very supportive wife? I think it’s more than that. From an outside viewpoint, Elena seems like... the perfect wife for Nate. She is supportive and she’s pretty much ready for action. But for some reason, Nate wants to leave her out of his adventures (5). I don’t think Nathan dislikes Elena; I think Nathan just isn’t romantically interested in her. Trying to force himself into a marriage because he knows that’s what charming guys such as himself are supposed to do, right? (6) Him forcing himself into a relationship he doesn’t want would make sense for him to feel a lot of disconnect. He spends a lot of time trying to get away, not because he truly dislikes Elena as a person, but because he doesn’t understand why he doesn’t feel as into her as he thinks he should (that sentence was a mouthful).

I will say that, as a story, uncharted has been pretty mean to Elena. It is a story so thats not problematic or anything, but I do hope she can find what she needs. She needs someone to support her as much as she will support them, and she needs someone who will offer some stability. She likes Nathan, but he isn’t very suited to the life she wants/

Nathan Drake a Psychopath?

Yeah, I get it. Nathan kills hundreds or thousands of people and he doesn’t even feel bad about it, which might make him a psychopath which might explain his behavior. I have some groundbreaking information to explain how he kills so many people without the guilt crushing him and that is that... this is a bideo game. bidya games be like “kill people” and you just do it. Nathan Drake could certainly have some mental health issues, but I don’t think the combat portion of the games should be considered when evaluating his health. His character as it is written has empathy, even going as far as attempting to save Marlowe in the third game. Combat is just expected in games. Although it might have been neato dorito if the game got into how Nate was coping with all that killing, I think we can just say “its bidya games” and move on.

Dad? Papa? Father??

I already hate this section of the post, but If I was (shitty bitch) Freud I would point out the fact that Nathan uh Defo has some mom/dad issues, and suddenly the Beautiful, capable, caring, morally gray Victor Sullivan swoops in to be Nate’s New Dad ™ and it would be normal for Nathan to have some weird feelings for Sully. But whatever that’s just Freud's take on the matter (although I won’t deny that the Drake’s prolly got parent issues). moving on.

Internal Turmoil

Nathan Drake throws himself in fatal danger and puts himself in incredibly difficult situations that have a tendency to just get worse. And he keeps doing this. This alone looks like a man just wracked with internal conflict. It would make sense for him to go on these physically taxing expeditions for treasure if he was insecure in his sexuality. Why would Nathan Drake be insecure though? He’s charming, smart, strong, handsome, and funny. It’s not like he has to beg to get laid. He has no reason to feel this insecurity-- unless it was men he was interested in, not women.

I don’t think It would be a stretch to suggest that Nathan “I never had any parents, really” Drake would have some troubles with learning how to navigate his own emotions. By the time he meets Dad Replacement 6000 (aka Sully), Nathan is already like, 15. That boy needed a parent years ago.

When Uncharted introduces Chloe to us in the second game, Nathan really just doesn’t seem to be into her. The scene in the hotel-- he was just kinda going along with it. He “kinda goes along with” a lot of stuff. To me, he seems like someone insecure, not only in his sexuality but also his ability to make choices for himself. When a woman makes a move on him, he just kinda... goes with it. Elena comes back for him even though he breaks it off repeatedly. I’m sure to him this is the support he desperately needs. So logically he should reward her with uhhhhhh marriage?

Harry Flynn

yeah he’s a bastard but don't even act like this scene didn’t have some gay subtext “buy me a drink, sailor!” that's flirting babes. Nathan was so happy to see Flynn.

Cassie Drake

whether Nathan is gay or not-- I still don’t believe in his marriage to Elena. I really love that Naughty Dog stuffed uncharted 4 with as many ladies as possible-- all the way down to Nathan’s sweet daughter. But seriously I hope Cassie’s upbringing is as cushy as it seems. Like I hope her parents are stable enough.

But also like I have so many mixed feelings about her existence. Kids aren’t relationship bandaids (... or at least they shouldn’t be).

I still have a lot I want to say about Nathan Drake (esp when thinking about Sam). The Uncharted Series has really done a lot to subvert some tropes in the adventure-type genre (imo anyway). And I’m not gonna scream and yell. I just think there's a lot of evidence to support Gay Nathan Drake. Of course, This could legitimately all be projecting. I love Nathan’s Character a ton!

I wrote this all in one setting, so if it’s badly written or repetitive or.... whatever, please forgive me. I’d love some interaction! tell me what you’re thinking!

1) are they married or engaged? I can’t remember....

2)that we know of blah blah

3) I might be being a bit too impassioned

4) I’ve been rewatching Bojack so I am reminded of the bojack/pc dynamic (although its not a perfect parallel by any means), and in the show it’s clear to anyone that while bj and pc depend on each other, the game they are playing isn’t good for either of them (esp not for pc). Elena and Nathan can harbor affection for each other all they want-- but Elena can’t do this anymore.

5) “wuh wuh he’s protecting her” im sorry but that’s bullshit-- she can hold her own, and he’s pretty quick to come to terms with her tagging along when she pops up each game.

6)IT’S POSSIBLE that i’m just projecting and i just wish he was gay, but like, seriousliy? sersreoopsily? I have at least SOME support for my claims.

#nathan drake #elena fisher #uncharted #analysis

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haikujitsu · 6 years

Note

THE SHADE IN SHANNON'S HOUSE. WHAT THE FUCK. Does being on the thermos for so Iong affect VIad's mind? WiII Shannon ever find out about the shade? Do Shannon and Danny stiII hang out afterwards? Does Shannon ask for ghost stories from Danny? WiII Danny's Doctor continue studying paranaturaI stuff after Danny? What was your favorite SOAD scene to write? which scene was the hardest? What wiII Danny go on to study, how often does he get to see Shannon and the gang?

Hokay, where to start…

Favorite Scene to Write

Oh, gosh. This is hard because it’s such a flippin’ long story and I wrote it over such a long span of time. I think… hmmm.

I really loved writing the Jack and Danny reunion near the end. Jack was one of those characters I didn’t like much initially, but he grew on me as the years passed and now honestly he’s one of my favorites. Being able to bring Danny home and letting them hug it out just felt so satisfying and cathartic.

I also enjoyed writing Mrs. Foley because she’s so wholesome and such a good influence on literally everyone. The Spectra cameo was also neat since she’s one of my favorite ghosts and bringing her into a psychological drama seemed fitting. Also that action scene where Maddie steals a ghost bike and rides it home? Super fun to write.

Hardest Scene to Write

Easily Maddie and Danny’s confrontation at Shannon’s (which in the end was split over Ch. 59/60). It needed to be a balance of getting it all out in the open, acknowledging the truly devastating nature of what Maddie had done, and yet allowing room for empathy and understanding and forgiveness.

It’s incredibly hard to make that choice to face your own pain and accept someone’s repentence– and incredibly powerful to see it happen. I did my best to bring the characters to a point where they were capable of that reunion. I spent weeks reworking and tearing up and reassembling the dialogue to make it feel real and hit alll those notes of anger and grief and loss and love in a way that felt sincere. It didn’t ring true for everyone, but I did what I could.

Vlad

Yes, it seriously affects Vlad’s psychological health, not to mention brain function. More on this in another ask!

Shannon

Being able to fly upwards of 100 mph makes it surprisingly easy to maintain a friendship across state lines. Danny’s a little shy about visiting at first, but Shannon is so matter of fact about it that they end up having monster movie and spaghetti nights once or twice a month.

Shannon mostly leaves the ghost topic alone because she senses that Danny wants to get away from ghost talk– but when he brings it up she always settles in for a crazy story. Once you leave the borders of Amity Park even the existence of ghosts feels more and more unbelievable… but Danny sitting at the table (or sometimes floating above it) is a constant reminder of the strangeness of the world.

He has to learn to be careful about the superpowers though, since there’s invariably someone staying in one of Shannon’s spare rooms. In a year or so she decides to become an official foster mom and the kids she takes in get a lot younger (grade school and teens). Danny develops a reputation as someone who doesn’t care how dark your problems get; he can also make bullies mysteriously lose interest and is pretty good at video games too. Danny finds out he likes being the big brother for a change.

Shannon’s place becomes a sort of safety zone for Danny. When he has a bad day, when he needs a break from ghost hunting, when he has a problem that he can’t talk out with his friends, when his parents cross a line and he needs some space. Shannon starts keeping Todd’s room reserved for his visits, which, depending on the reason, can last for a few days.

The Shade

Recap for those who don’t remember: There’s a shade (powerless proto-ghost with minimal self-awareness, only visible to humans with spectral abilities) that haunts Shannon’s house, and it’s heavily implied that this is Shannon’s long-lost younger brother, Todd. Danny, Gabe and Harley are aware of its presence but Shannon is not.

Shannon still hopes that her brother is alive, so at first Danny doesn’t tell her. But sooner or later it gets to him– maybe talking with Jazz and realizing how heart-wrenching that uncertainty is, maybe Shannon reminiscing about Todd, maybe just visiting and seeing the shade drifting around in perpetual purgatory.

He tells her. That’s a whole heart-wrenching conversation as you can imagine, but in the end Shannon believes him and accepts that Todd is dead. That’s not enough for Danny, who can see the shade literally inches from Shannon even as they talk about him. Danny wants to reunite them somehow.

So he goes to his parents. Which, by the bye, is a huge step because Danny’s still super uncomfortable with them in their role as ghost hunters/scientists. Maddie and Jack realize that and they handle this as delicately as they know how. Which is…not very delicately, but they try.

They know that if they just present raw ectoplasm to the shade that it would manifest in a seeable, sentient form. But it’s dangerous because the sentience and visibility that ectoplasm provides comes at a price– it typically enhances aggression, self-fascination and obsessiveness to the point where the ghost becomes a simplified charicature of his former self.

If Todd were to become a ghost like Ember or Technus, he might not even remember Shannon at all and would very likely be a threat to humans.

Danny, as usual, turns out to be the key. Because the ectoplasm used in creating the portal was so carefully purified, he escaped the worst of the ectoplasmic side effects. The Fentons theorize that if they create a controlled environment where they can slowly introduce purified and denatured ectoplasm, they can give the shade a physical form and encourage sentience without causing insanity and aggression.

With Shannon’s permission they rig up the living room with equipment and are able to trap Todd’s shade and try out their theory. He manifests successfully. Whether they can only sustain it for a few minutes or it’s a lasting solution, I don’t know. But at the very least they see each other, and Shannon can say goodbye.

Dr. Wagner

I feel like ectoscience is one of those things where, once you’re aware of it, you can’t just… stop being involved. It’s too niche, too bizarre, and too interesting.

Especially since Dr. Wagner is now one of three medical professionals (four if we’re counting Dr. Kerza) aware of the existence of ghost/human hybrids, period. He’s one of the few people informed enough to competently treat Danny, Valerie, and anyone else like them.

So yes, getting involved with Danny forever changes Dr. Wagner’s life. After his residency is up, he moves to Amity Park and gets a job under Dr. Stein–that’s Danny’s original doctor from his first hospital stay post-PoT; he was brought into the loop about the halfa thing at Dr. Wagner’s insistence.

The two doctors trade off patching Danny up on the occasions where he needs serious medical attention, and in the meantime work together to create legitimate scientific studies pertaining to ectoplasm and its interactions with human physiology. As the epicenter of ectocontaminated injuries, Amity Park General Hospital is the ideal place to conduct this research.

Most of the existing data has been collected by either the GIW (which rarely publicizes its findings) or scientists in non-medical fields with varying levels of scientific integrity, so this turns out to be an excellent way for a young, hardworking doctor to make a name for himself.

He also dates a certain redheaded psychology grad student for a while, but nothing comes of it… except a very awkward few months of ecto-charged glares from his primary patient.

Danny’s Studies

Danny does eke his way into community college with the help of some online classes and Jazz’s tutoring. No one can figure out why his new campus has a sudden spike in ghost activity, though the Fentons make a public statement with some handwavey ‘spectral wave pattern fluctuations’ explanation.

I’m honestly not sure what he’d end up majoring in… I do feel that he’d change majors at least once before he settled into something he liked. His academic performance is directly linked to the level of ghost crisis in Amity Park–though he’s gotten much better at sharing responsibility with Valerie and his parents.

He’d probably go in with an interest in Engineering, Applied Science, and Astrophysics despite his bad math grades–which, let’s be honest, are probably a direct result of his ghost hunting and not a lack of intelligence. I think he’d surprise himself by doing really well in Sociology and Anthropology-related courses. Nothing like being thrown into a bizarre xenoculture made of a mishmash of human history to prepare you for higher education, ey?

#soad ama #soad asks #xiulric #dropping this under a readmore actually

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thedarkenedkeeper · 6 years

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Alright, it's 6:40 P.M., I'm stuck in 2017 for the next 5 hours and 20 minutes, but whatever, I figured I'd take the time to actually make a list of the highlights of this year (which I will admit, is a tad hard to do given how my brain usually finds it easier to pinpoint the negative stuff first). I was originally thinking of making a bit of a video of me actually talking about it all - you know, so I feel like I'm actually pouring my heart out to you guys and like I'm talking to some close friends - but alas, I'm a socially anxious bean who just doesn't have that sort of bravery just yet, so I'm sticking with typing this all out! I'm sorry! XD

This may be a bit of a long post, so if no one reads this, I don't care. I just felt the need to do this - it's good to pinpoint the good memorable things versus the negative. So here I go!

1) Getting myself into watching not just Jack and Mark but other YouTubers as well. I started watching Jack and Mark around the end of November/earlier December of last year, but I never actually started watching one video a day until some time in January, and it was around that time when I also decided to give other YouTubers a chance as well (Pewdiepie, Crankgameplays, NateWantsToBattle, danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, and Thomas Sanders). Now it may seem weird that I've added this to my list, but if anyone has seen any of my past posts, then you know that the last three years for me were an emotional hell, and admittedly, I still have unexpected depressing episodes every now and again. Discovering these guys and watching them, while they don't take away all of my pain permanently, they do manage to give me a distraction whenever I'm being WAY too hard on myself. They manage to calm me down and remind me that it's okay, that I'm not alone, and I can get through whatever it is I'm going through. Honestly, I don't even want to think about where I'd be right now if I hadn't decided to start watching any of them. Each year seemed to get worse in terms of how I was treating myself mentally - I REALLY do not want to imagine what I'd be going through right now if I didn't start watching their videos.

2) On the topic of introducing myself to YouTubers' videos, this all gave me motivation to start drawing again! I absolutely LOVE the whole "dark side of YouTube" idea, and as such, I got overcome with a bunch of creativity to go and create drawings of each YouTuber I watch with their evil counterpart. It was a lot of fun, especially since it was a challenge - testing my ability of drawing real people in different poses with different facial expressions. (I still have to finish Mark/Dark's drawing - it will eventually get done).

3) My tattoo. My first ever tattoo, one of which I designed...This...Honestly, I NEVER would've thought I'd ever get a tattoo, especially at this age no less. I was always afraid of how much pain I'd be in, plus having to choose something that would be PERMENTANTLY put on your body seemed like such an incredibly hard decision to make. But earlier in the year, given how Jack and Mark had actually managed to help me out quite a bit, I began contemplating about getting a tattoo - one that would look both cool and artistically pleasing, as well as have a lot of meaning put into it. I tossed the idea back and forth in my mind for about 4 months, until one night I had a full-blown mental breakdown. And during that time, I looked at my bare left arm and immediately knew then and there that I NEEDED to get the tattoo done. I wanted it on my arm so if and when I'd ever have another meltdown and be too hard on myself, I could look at it and remind myself that I'm stronger than I know and that I'm not alone. I've had this thing since July 8th, and I'm still so VERY HAPPY with it. I absolutely adore it with all my heart, and I couldn't be any happier with how it came out :)

4) THE ANTIPOCALYPSE. Holy shit, I swear, of everything that happened this year, the Antipocalypse was the highlight of my year. That was the most fun I had in a long time. I mean, yeah, we all completely lost our minds. We lost sleep and went insane with paranoia for a month and a half, getting increasingly more on edge as it neared August 3rd, but man, it was so much fun having the whole community come together to theorize, create fanart, fanfictions, edits, you name it! And that's not all - there was also the first SepticArt event, which I ACTUALLY participated in. That's another thing why the Antipocalypse means so much to me - it's what got me out of my shell, it's what ACTUALLY got me involved in the community. It got me into making a few theories, some fanart, my first ever fanfic, and I met so many amazing people, many of which I now call close friends :) It's funny, there's some irony there - Anti's evil and chaotic and drove us insane, but at the same time, in some way, he "saved" me. If it hadn't been for him, I'd probably still be a "nobody" in the community, someone just watching from the sidelines.

5) My Antisepticeye horror fanfiction, "Glitched". This...Just like with my drawing, for the last three years, I had pretty much lost any and all motivation to write, and it was HORRIBLE. Drawing and writing are my passions, and without them, I'm pretty much dead inside. But then the Antipocalypse happened, and inspiration hit me like a truck! I came up with a theory - the idea of us, the community, being the REAL villain, not Anti - and I loved it so much that I was overcome with the need to write a story about it. I was VERY hesitant to do it, given how I'd never written fanfiction before, let alone share my writing with anyone, but the idea was eating away at me so I caved. I ended up writing a oneshot titled "Broken", which ended up becoming the first chapter to "Glitched". I was floored when I woke up the next morning to see so many people loving it, so I wrote another chapter, and then another, and then another, until I was finally like "Fuck it! Let's see how far I can take this". I had absolutely NO intentions of taking that oneshot and making it into a full-fledged story, but everyone gave me the motivation I needed. Jack gave me the inspiration I needed to write the oneshot, and the community gave me the motivation and encouragement to take that idea and expand on it. Also, whenever I say "Glitched is my baby", I mean it. "Glitched" is my first attempt at quite a lot of things - my first attempt at fanfiction, my first attempt at angst, my first attempt at horror, my first attempt at really graphic gory scenes, my first attempt at surgical operations, my first attempt at realism, and when I end up writing Part 18, my first attempt at a battle/fight sequence. I REALLY want to be a horror author some day, and from the responses "Glitched" has gotten, I know I'm doing something right :)

6) Okay, excluding all of the pornbots and any other bot really, I have a total of 333 followers, and I honestly have no IDEA how that happened or why any of you are following me! I did the math - before the Antipocalypse, before I began writing "Glitched", I had about 48 followers. I was a nobody in the community - I would just stay off to the sidelines, watching and reblogging, but never actually participating and contributing anything. But ever since I started writing "Glitched" in earlier August, from August 2nd up until now, I have gained 285 followers! 285! HOW the actual fuck and WHY the actual fuck?! I'm baffled! In comparison to some of the people I follow, 333 is not really a big number, but to me, it's huge! I feel like a celebrity, and I don't know how to correctly react to this! I've met so many incredible people ever since the Antipocalypse started, so many of which I call close friends, and I love you all so much :)

7) All of October. I'm talking the Inktober/Egotober/Anti-Awareness Month stuff. Even though Anti didn't really show up (except for in the Silent Movie video), I absolutely LOVED how a majority of the community decided to dedicate the entire month of October to him and came together to make a bunch of fanart for him. And if you couldn't draw, then you wrote fanfiction, and if you couldn't write, then you did edits. Either way, there was a flood of Anti posts, and not just Anti but the other egos as well and it was INCREDIBLE. I had never participated in Inktober before so I decided to take part in it this year, and even though I only managed to get 13 drawings done, it was A LOT of fun. Taking prompts and making a challenge out of it, using pens instead of lead pencil (something I'm not used to) was such a blast! Oh man, I can't WAIT until next October to do it again! :D

8) The fact that Jack ACTUALLY saw and liked the first drawing I did for Inktober! Okay, I know if may seem a bit like I'm coming off having wanted his attention or something, but I swear, that's not it. I have never once made any of my fanart with the pure intent of wanting to get Jack's or anyone else's attention; it's always been out of fun, always out of just wanting to draw for the sake of drawing. So when it came to the first day of Inktober and I posted my drawing, I tagged Jack just because I felt like dedicating the drawing to him. He gets tagged in SO many things, I didn't think there was a chance in hell he would EVER see any of my work, so honestly, my expectations were BEYOND low. I didn't expect him to actually SEE and LIKE my drawing 10 minutes after I had posted it! Man, I got so damn happy when I saw that he liked it, I actually teared up a bit. I didn't know how to react properly to seeing that notification.

9) The entire Save The Children Christmas charity stream. Granted, I didn't get to watch the actual stream until Jack uploaded it to the channel (I still have to watch the second part!), but after watching it, I regret having not been able to watch it live. I could NOT stop smiling throughout the entire thing. I absolutely loved seeing just how happy everyone was and just how much fun they were having. And in some weird way, I almost felt like I was there(?). Like, I felt like I was hanging out with close friends - like I was off to the sides, watching and laughing at them being the pure goofballs they are. It was such a pure heartwarming, fun time, and seeing the community come together and raise SO much money for the charity and also create a bunch of fanart for it as well was amazing to see. And of course, I can't forget the Overnight Watch. THAT I actually took part in; for 9 hours and 45 minutes - from 8:15 P.M. to 6 A.M. - I sacrificed sleep and sanity to watch the security cameras. And though I lost my mind - though I was INCREDIBLY tired the next day and though I actually got so scared to the point I cried and had to stop watching - the entire thing was surprisingly about as much fun as the Antipocalypse. It's like what a lot of posts I saw said - it was like one big sleepover for the community! Everyone came together to talk to one another and theorize about everything happening. If anyone was getting tired and about to go to bed, someone else would step in and be sure to update everyone with what was going on. It was incredible!

Those are all the main things that stand out for me this year. I could go on and list a BUNCH of other things that were amazing and made my year, but then I'd truly be making a book out of all of it, so I'm just going to keep it as this.

For anyone who actually read this all, I apologize for just how long this was! What were you thinking? The pain you must've went through reading this entire thing! XD

Tagging the people who welcomed me into this loving community with open arms and who I truly call "close friends" :)

@vity-dream @golden-eyed-guardians @septic-obsessed @fear-is-nameless @haveaverynicetime @septicfallen @maybekatie @steffid101 @adreamoverlife

It's been one hell of a year and I hope everyone of you guys has a Happy New Year. Here's hoping 2018 will be just as amazing :)

Love all of you guys!

#don't mind me #just figured I'd make a post about the positive things of this year versus the negative #I fucking love this community #have I mentioned before how much I love this community?#jacksepticeye #new year's eve #review of 2017

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