amiaemilio3p99

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 128. brb x oc

a/n: aaaaa yeah I'm a bit nervous??? posting this??? idk why lol .my anxiety is a bit all over the place... reblogs and comments are super encouraged <3333

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

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/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106/107/108/109/110/111/112/113/114/115/116/117/118/119/120/121

/122/123/124/125/126/127

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva

-

Christmas Eve.

It should be a relaxing time to enjoy the celebrations with your family, but Beatrice was extremely nervous. She made a list of food she knew her mother would usually make and the ones she couldn’t eat, she was staring at it now, flicking her gaze back and forth as she tried to make a connection if it was safe or not.

So far…everything was good. So far.

Beatrice was with Nicole, her little daughter lying on her stomach and playing with one of the many brain stimulating toys she got. They were for eight months and up but ever since she saw Nicole playing in Evelyn’s house, Beatrice thought it’d be a good idea to do that to her and she was right.

Because Nicole was really good with the pegboard puzzles already, barely needing much direction from her parents when she did so. Beatrice leans against the headboard, chewing the end of her pen as she hears Rooster’s feet coming up the stairs, her husband stops by the threshold and leans his shoulder on it, ‘Watcha doin’?” he asks, tilting his head ‘You look focused.”

“I’m signing what I can and cannot eat when we go to my parents.” she explains, “And what I can eat without rising suspicion.”

Rooster hummed, pushing himself off the threshold to smile at Nicole, who grinned up at him before chewing the silicon star happily, “And you are keeping mommy company,huh?” he asks sweetly, kissing her forehead and sitting down next to Beatrice, Nicole was surrounded by her parents’ legs almost like they were walls, “And how is it going,so far?”

“It’s…going okay?”

He peeks over at the paper, smiling when he notices she drew tiny christmas themed pictures all over the paper, alongside tiny cannolis that had extra ‘ok’ around them, “Your mom always does something new every Christmas. You told me she did that uhh…pasta pie once.”

“‘Ncasciata.” she says, “It was pretty good too…kinda heavy. Too much work too, amazingly my mother thinks that sometimes.” she taps the paper, “I can’t have…too much fish- no I can but only certain types. Swordfish is a no no, thankfully she’s not making that this year.”

“That fish was really good.” he recalls, “It’s probably one of my favorite things I had for christmas.”

‘She’s making a huge chicken this year, no turkey. One of my father’s friends has an organic farm away from San Diego and he has these huge chickens so they got that…what else,” she flips the page, “Oh, there’s also roasted garlic potatoes,which I can eat as long it’s not too much.”

“Okay.”

“...and the dessert, from all the options,” she taps the tip on each word, “I think it’ll be either chocolate lava cake or hazelnut chocolate tart, which I can eat. It adds to the babies’ diet.” she frowns,however, “....oh god I have to think about the things my aunt is going to bring.”

“Or,” he cuts her gently, “You can stay within your mom’s cooking and don’t worry about it too much.”

“...I guess.”

He smiles,kissing the curve of her shoulder and chuckling when she squeaked and bunched up to prevent the tickling from his mustache against her skin, which of course only made Rooster kiss her even harder, nuzzling the soft skin of her neck and then propping his chin on the curve of her neck, “You are worrying too much, babe.”

“...I know, it’s not–I don’t know Roos.” she whispered, “I want everything to go well, Nicole’s was fine.” Their little daughter was now sitting up, placing shapes in their respective holes with a gentle giggle, back to them, “And I want the twins’ to be fine. And we need to be careful…and…yeah.”

Bradley hummed, his voice vibrating against her skin as he kissed her neck one more time, this time wrapping his arms around her waist as carefully as he could, bringing her closer to his side, his lips moving up to rest against her temple,”It’ll be okay.” she made a little noise that he always found adorable even if it meant she was upset. His thumb drew random shapes on the fabric of her sweater, feeling the braided wool rubbing against his finger, “You’ll see….we just gotta be careful, that’s all.”

“I know…”

“But you are also worried because of your family.”

“And Mav. And Penny.” she whispers, “And Amelia, you know I did really good at the bar. Penny didn’t notice anything and neither did Shells.” she explains, “But…what if I slip up and do something? I just want the babies to be safe… and I don’t want anyone to think I’m being a bitch or anything, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

Rooster loved how caring she was, it didn’t matter what or to whom,Beatrice has proven time and time again that she’s the sweetest human he had the privilege of knowing and of course, marrying and loving so much.He tries to cover his smile in her hair, sniffing the lavender shampoo that held onto the brown tresses, “You are so cute.” he whispers, kissing her scalp, “Cutest human being in this whole wide universe. I can’t handle you sometimes.”

She looked up at him with the perfect personification of the ‘:(‘ emoji and his heart clenched, “Baby….aw,honey.” he cups her close to his chest, letting her hug his middle and bury her face in his shirt, “My gorgeous girl, you are too sweet, you are too nice. You’d never hurt anyone.”

“Hrmmm…”

“I’m serious, you are just too kind.”

Beatrice only smiled up at him in thanks, then nuzzled his chest, “I try to…sometimes I think I am too kind.”

“You aren’t stupid if that’s what you are suggesting.”

Beatrice smiles more,hugging his middle and sighing quietly,enjoying the noises coming from Nicole’s constant trying to fit the shapes in its’ holes and the dogs walking downstairs, but her favorite sound had to be Rooster’s heartbeat, “Thank you,Roos.” she whispers, ‘...You know, it’s crazy that the first time you met my family was three years ago.”

“Hah.” his chest bounces with the sudden chuckle,”I had so much fun. It was the best Christmas I had in a while,gorgeous.” he says, twirling the ends of her hair with his finger as the two watch Nicole discover her brain by herself, babbling happily in front of them, “And now,I have a ring on my finger that you put it there and I put one on yours.” she giggles a bit, hugging him tighter, “We’ll be okay,Bea…I know you are still nervous,I can feel it in you.”

‘Hrm.”

“Your shoulders tense up like crazy.” he explains, running the tip of his index finger on her shoulder, following until he touched her shoulder blade, “And you clench your jaw. Not often, but enough notice.”

“Yeah…you are right.” she relaxes a bit, “I should let it go for now, if I worry too much people will…notice.I’m just not a good liar Roos,you know that.I can’t hide a lot from people.”

“I mean, you did lie sometimes.” he pinches his fingers, leaving a small space between them, “Just a little white lie. Nothing bad.”

She laughs,sighing again, “...anyway, let’s change the subject for a bit because I feel like I’ll get worse: are you excited for Virginia? We’ll go at the end of this week.”

His chest expanded over the mention of his home state, his eyes softening, “Yeah,I am.” he smiles, “I miss that place a lot sometimes.”

“...would you ever live there again?”

He purses his lips, shaking his head briefly, “Probably not. I love it there but…it brings a lot of bad,bad memories. I’d rather stay wherever you stay.” he smirks, dropping a soft kiss to her forehead, “It’s much better.”

“What if I want to go to the North Pole?”

“You hate the cold.” he says with his lips still glued to her forehead, “You’d never go to the North Pole, you’d stay somewhere warm and tropical…like Brazil.”

“Brazil,huh?”

“I had a Brazilian classmate, he was really fun.”

“And you’d go with me.”

“Of course,” he smirks, “You’d wear those tiny bikinis too,I’d be all for it.”

Beatrice swats his chest playfully and her husband laughs, holding his arms up in defense. Nicole looks back to stare at her parents, immediately forgetting about whatever she was doing to smile at them. She crawls over, squeezing herself between her parents and trying her best to push herself up only to fall back on her bottom on top of the mattress, “Birdie, you can’t stand up yet.” Rooster  coos, cupping Nicole under the armpits and raising her to his lips,kissing those chubby cheeks over and over, “But with how things are going I wouldn’t put it behind you, baby girl, you are one smart little cookie.”

Beatrice just grins, watching the conversation between her husband and daughter, only looking away when her phone started to ring. Considering it was Christmas Eve, she assumed it’d be her distant relatives wishing her Merry Christmas or her siblings asking what time she was coming.

She was right about one thing.

It was her aunt Martha calling. She unlocks the phone to take the call, “Buon Natale,zia Martha.”

Her aunt’s laughter was heard by Rooster,”Preziosa, è ancora la vigilia di Natale. Christmas is tomorrow.” she says, “But, yes, buon natale. I was calling to ask if you all are coming at the scheduled time tonight?”

“Um…yeah, why?”

“No reason, I was simply curious. How is the little principessa?”

“She is,” Beatrice turns, smiling when she sees that Rooster just allowed Nicole to climb on his face and practically use him as her personal pillow, “Amazing, She’s great.”

“Good, good, she’s a healthy little baby. You two will have strong and healthy children.”

Beatrice blinked over her aunt’s words, “...thank you,auntie.”

“So don’t worry too much.”

Beatrice almost threw the phone out of her grasp, but instead chose to widen her eyes and inhale so sharply that Rooster heard her, lifting Nicole enough to look at his wife with his brows furrowed, “Thank you,zia.”

“Oh, do not thank me. I just want you all to be okay.” she put a lot of emphasis on the all “I have a special gift for you,by the way, well,all of you.”

“Oh,zia, thank you.” she says softly, “You didn’t have to.”

“Nonsense. I want to help you and your family, you know I adore all of you so much.” she could hear Martha was smiling through the phone. “Even those who aren’t here yet.”

Beatrice’s aunt was weird, she was a hippie witch that could undoubtedly control the weather and probably curse your entire generation with a snap of fingers. She figured out Nicole was to be born, was she really surprised about the sudden cryptic messages thrown her way? “...thank you,zia.”

“You are so welcome! Now, I must go, your mother needs my help with some things. I’ll see you all soon!”

“See you,zia.”

Rooster watches as Beatrice’s stare turns distant and the hand holding the phone drops to her lap, her lips in a tight line, “Bea?” he asks, flicking his gaze from the phone to her, “What’s wrong?”

“She knows.”

“Who knows?”

“My aunt.”

The dots were connected quickly, he didn’t have to think much and figure out what she was talking about. Martha knew Beatrice was pregnant,again, and mentioned it in her very own…specific way. Bradley lowers Nicole, his daughter fascinated by his mustache still and kept on brushing her tiny fingers over it, “...okay.” he inhales, arching his brows, “We should’ve expected that.”

“Roos…why is my family the cryptic Sicilian family that no one really knows how they do things?” she sounds genuinely confused mentioning that, “...I’m sorry you had to join such a crazy bunch.”

He stares at her as if she grew three heads, “Are you kidding? Have you met my friends? Have you met Mav? Who are you calling a crazy bunch?” she only smiles thankfully at him, sighing one last time and letting her back touch the headboard, “Will she say something?”

She shakes her head negatively, “No, she’s not the one who announces it to people, she didn’t announce Nicole’s. She…probably wants to talk to me about it, give me some tips since she had twins and such…I mean, that’s what I’m hoping.”

“Then it’s all good.”

“I guess.” she murmurs, “The one thing I don’t need is my mother appearing like a pirate’s parrot on my shoulder when that happens. Then we’ll be really f-ed up.” she murmured, tossing the phone to her side and interlacing her hands on top of her navel, looking over at Nicole and her wandering little hands all over Rooster’s face, “You okay over there?”

He gives her a thumb up and the side of his mouth quirks up in a smile, “Great. She’s just exploring.”

“Aa!”

“Yeah, you are.” he picks Nicole from his face and blows a raspberry under her chin,earning a high pitched giggle that only made their hearts fill up with joy. He pulls back to smile at Nikki, holding her just a few inches above his head, ‘Can you imagine hearing something so sweet three times?” he asks, playfully swaying their daughter as if she was bobbing in the ocean very gently, “The house is going to be so full of life.”

Beatrice smiled back, leaning her temple against the headboard, “Yeah…it will be.”

“You are still nervous.” he says without taking his eyes off Nikki, “Because of your aunt.”

“I mean,yeah.”

“You said she wouldn’t mention it.”

“She won’t but,” she sighs, “I don’t know, I’ll have to talk to her about it, if she says something. I kinda want my parents to know about it too? And Mav…ugh,this is stressful. I hate it.”

“Stress isn’t good for the baby.”

“I know.” she says, “...at least you’ll be there with me.”

“Always,gorgeous.” he says as if it’s obvious, smirking at her. He sees that her brows are still furrowed so he gently brushes his thumb over the small crease, then drags it to the tip of her nose and then over her lips, letting her kiss the pad of his thumb, “We’ll be okay.” 

Beatrice doesn’t say anything, but nods with an appreciative smile before she drags herself to the edge of the bed, “I’m going to take a shower.” she says,running her hands through her hair, “Set our outfits ready and…then get the dogs?”

“I can do that.” he says, scooting to the edge himself, “The gifts are at your parents’ so that’s one thing less to worry about.”

“Yeah…right.”

“Bea,” she looks up when he calls, his eyes soft and smile gentle, “Baby, we’ll be fine. I promise you.”

Beatrice only gives him one weak smile then turns on her heel to the bathroom,disappearing from his view. Rooster stares at the space she once stood, then looks down at Nicole, holding her up like the precious doll she was, “Baby girl,we are going to give mommy a nice Christmas.”

“Aa!”

“Hell yeah we are.” he adjusts her on his grasp,”She deserves it.”

[lululawrence]

lululawrence's February 2023 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

Happy 28th! It's totally still the 28th... in some time zones... lol I am still working on the amazing Christmas fics that posted this year, but I also read some non-holiday inspired fics as well! And all of them were fab. As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

syrupy sorrows and gingerbread grief by @adoremelikeasunflower19 / adoremelikeasunflower (68k, NR, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, friends to lovers, teachers Harry and Louis, coworkers and best friends, jealousy, pining, divorce, emotional hurt/comfort, secrets, pay attention to the tags because there are some abuse, gaslighting, and cheating aspects to the fic that might be triggering, but overall this fic is so cute and sweet and the way their friendship is so perfectly supportive is lovely)

The Top of Your Lungs by @zanniscaramouche / zanni_scaramouche (32k, M, Harry/Louis, sequel/completion of part 1, werewolves, pack fic, omega Harry, alpha Louis, angst, slow burn, violence, fighting, scenting, magic, listen okay the first part of this was impeccable and had me thinking about it regularly for MONTHS until this part could post, it was the perfect ending to the story, SO much pining and angst, and it was just so lovely and wonderful and I love love loved it)

Stole My Heart by @haztobegood / haztobegood (3k, NR, Harry/Louis, meet ugly, humor, chicken nuggets, awkwardness, this fic was SO hard to read but was also so funny I couldn't stop giggling the entire time I was reading it, I had to take a break though because the beginning was written so well that I almost died of secondhand embarrassment lol, so great)

(not) driving home for christmas by @justanotherghostblr / BeautifulWisdom (3k, T, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, meet ugly, shifter Louis, snowstorm, snowed in, Harry accidentally hits Louis, but he doesn't realize it's Louis, lololol, this fic is so funny and fast paced and the emotions Harry flips through along with the bantery dialogue is fab)

Give it to someone special by @djtommotomlinson / yourlionheartx (10k, G, Zayn/Liam, Christmas fic, meet cute, lonely Liam, sad Zayn, clueless Larry, ot4 celebrating Louis' birthday who invited Liam to join, emotional hurt/comfort, this fic was so SOFT, the love and friendship between ot4 is so wonderful and they welcome Liam in so fully, it's so perfect and wonderful and a lovely ending for all of them)

12 Days of Courting by mission2feelike (23k, E, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Harry, omega Louis, friends to lovers, secret courting, friends with benefits, pining, scenting, nesting, heat/mating cycles, this fic was just like a massive mix of everything that I love in a fic all thrown together, and it was done so perfectly, I loved how clueless Louis was but how much he WANTED it to be real, and just it made me squee a little bit when it all turned out in the end honestly, I loved this fic so much)

From Dust to Lust by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (45k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, road trip fic, enemies to lovers, more like miscommunication to friends to fwb to aching longing messes to lovers, lmaoooo you know whatever works to get you where you gotta go lol, so much banter, flirting, cute old people, dust, bonding, and there's a legit fist pumping moment!, it's so great I love it so much, this fic was so fantastic and had me dreaming of those tiny places in Australia, such a great fic to fall into)

Loved and Lost by @princelyharry / princelyharry (44k, M, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, Famous/Non-Famous, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Exes to Lovers, Amnesia, student Louis, Broadway star Harry, angst, happy ending, this fic was a RIDE, I had forgotten it was an amnesia fic by the time it got to that, and it's told in a switch of POV, which is SO powerfully done, it hits so hard and hurts so bad, and you're just SCREAMING for it all to come together and it just, yeah, anyway, SO GOOD lol such a ride too like wow)

Oh Little Town of BATHlehem by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (2k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, crack fic, humor, meet ugly, fighting over a plastic bath, this fic omgosh you guys, I could hardly breathe, I screamed in the tags of my reblog, and the comments, and then again at Emmu once I'd finished it, because it might just be my new fav fic by her, it's so funny in genuinely every way, like what even?, and it's so sweet too, I cannot fully explain my love of this fic, just know it is GREAT)

Here where you should be by @lunarheslwt / lunarheslwt (19k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Harry, omega Louis, strangers to friends to lovers, the friends part is... short admittedly but still there lol, the way they both save each other in small but important ways, is so lovely, and such a great basis for their friendship and then SO much more, idiots to lovers, these two are so wonderful I love them)

A Life Turned Upside Down by @chelsea-frew / Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew) (29k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang fic, canon divergent, previous mpreg, exes to lovers, deaf character, post-hiatus, kid fic, the way this fic is constructed and how it revolves around the kid and their reconnection, getting past their differences, all of that, it is just, SO wonderful, such a soft and lovely and hopeful fic)

Wake Up! It's Christmas by @megz1985 / Megz1985 (6k, NR, Zayn/Liam, Christmas fic, established relationship, kid fic, adoption, past trauma, healing, domestic fluff, parenthood, beautiful and lovely and so real)

All I want for Christmas is You by @sparklebootsandvans / hlftanna (43k, NR, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, A/B/O dynamics, alpha Harry, omega Louis, miscommunications, friends to lovers, jealousy, pining, flirting, scenting, dropping, touch deprivation, nesting, fluff and angst, happy ending, this fic is a wonderful mishmash of confusion between characters while trying to get to know each other, pining, the best parts of A/B/O dynamics, and just so much goodness, it makes you wanna shake them but also wanna force them into a closet to kiss and figure their shit out, in the best of ways, lmao it's such a thoroughly enjoyable read)

Once The Dark Divides by @zanniscaramouche / zanni_scaramouche (15k, E, Harry/Louis, childhood friends, friends to lovers, kink exploration, dom/sub dynamics, pwp, this fic, let me just... holy hell y'all, I didn't even mean to read it, not right that moment, I only meant to mark it as to read, but then I wanted to read the author's note, and then I kept reading, and never stopped because I was so immediately pulled in, and it's so hot but it's so much more than just that, it's so emotionally real, and the power struggle, and figuring it out, like Louis' experiences and feelings and confusion as a submissive for the first time feels SO REAL, it's incredible, so sexy, so intimate, I just still don't really have words for it but it's an entire experience, and honestly I feel a little too seen after reading it so I'll stop there lolllll)

The Holes of My Sweater by @harrysmaison / yourdelicatepov (31k, NR, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, primary school teachers, friends to lovers, Harry is the new teacher, lives quite far from everyone else, he's quite an idiot really but who doesn't love a good idiots to lovers story?, obiously I do based off this rec alone lol, it's a fun story and fantastic pining)

falling in love with the stable boy by @sup3rbloom / haveufoundwhaturlookingfor (6k, G, Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, Royalty AU, Prince Liam, Prince Zayn, Prince Louis, Stable Boy Harry, love at first sight, basically, this fic is so fascinating to read because it is so clear that there's so much world building and story that we don't get as an official part of the fic, but you only get enough to keep going, and i want to know so much about the family dynamics now lol, ANYWAY, an interesting and cute read!)

An Extra Surprise by @beanno28 / Beanno28 (7k, M, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, established relationship, kid fic, mpreg, mpreg Harry, domestic fluff, the funniest part of the entire thing was how Zayn and Liam so openly teased Louis about his need to claim some of the holiday celebrations for his birthday, and the rivalry between them for the gingerbreads, but also the way they help with the kids etc was so lovely, but all of it was so fluffy and tender and sweet)

Grow as We Go by @larryatendoftheday / larryatendoftheday (7k, T, Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, established relationship, the Ultimatum AU, proposal, angst, angst with a happy ending, this fic holy mother, the way they hit the reason for the breaking point, and how Louis is just so caught off guard and so hurt, and then his realizations that he wasn't perfect either and how he wants to fix it, and just all of it, it is so heartwrenchingly painfully perfect, it feels possible and real, if that makes sense?, but the ending is perfect for that too)

[lo-fi-charming]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

got tagged by @milkteamoon! ^^

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? // 176!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? // 866,977

3. What fandoms do you write for? // Mainly TMA the last few years; previously, I wrote a lot of OPM fic. I'd say those are easily my two 'biggest' fandoms in terms of being actively involved and writing fic for them. I'll also write fic of other things I enjoy though, so I have a lot of one-shots and short series for other things too!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? // Sticking with TMA fic for this one, so:

What Lies Beyond the Frame (rated G, jmart) — A minor AU where I give Jon a new Beholding power, letting him see through his glasses when he's not wearing them. One of my earliest works for the fandom! I'm actually surprised to find it at the top of this list.

off-the-clock assistance (rated E, jmart) — An AOB fic taking place during the iconic Martin Living In The Archives era. I wrote this after realizing that other TMA smut fics had taught me I actually DO enjoy fisting as a concept, lol.

The Kissing Game (rated T, jmart) — A lighthearted, Christmas-y fic where Jon, Tim, and Sasha get into a competitive little holiday game of trying to catch Martin under the mistletoe. This one was very fun to write and I quite like how I ultimately wrapped it up.

A Friendly Favor (rated E, martim) — An AU where Tim and Martin are friends with benefits! I used to be very into martim when I first got into the fandom... I do still enjoy them, but we all know where my main focus/energy ultimately started going hehe. This one ended up developing into a tiny series of fics in the same setting.

Sizing Up (rated E, jmart) — Wherein Jon discovers that Martin is a size queen. This one was based off a stupid little comic I drew and is probably the closes I've gotten to writing a 'crack fic', though I wouldn't call it that - it's more in terms of the Energy I brought to writing it? Just doing something with a very silly base concept but taking it (mostly) seriously.

5. Do you respond to comments? // I do sometimes, if I feel like I have anything worth saying! Sometimes I'll respond with a simple 'thank you' or variation thereof if someone says something particularly nice though ;w;

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? // Kind of a difficult question honestly... I don't really write 'angsty' endings to my fic, even if they do have a darker tone or a lot of angst in the middle somewhere; I'm not really a hurt-no-comfort guy. I also think it's hard to say whether an ending is angsty because it can kinda depend on the perspective of the character(s) and I'd say generally, when I'm doing things as I intended, even if the ending is a bit dark, that doesn't ring as angsty to me?

If I HAD to choose one... maybe when the dream ends, a very old, Sans-centric Undertale fic I wrote where he experiences disorienting dissociation and deja vu of other timelines post-pacifist ending. It has a hopeful conclusion, but still leans heavily on his feelings of detachment, vague depression, and anxiety from feeling like everything around him is impermanent and repetitive.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? // Hm, approaching this in terms of fic where the happiness of the end feels earned, that'd probably go to The Taste of Midnight, my witch!Jon AU fic where he has to save his town from a disastrous force (with Martin's help). The final chapter, once the plot is resolved, is very idyllic and fluffy - a nice, pleasant conclusion for all the dramatic stuff that happened!

8. Do you get hate on fics? // I've gotten hate on a fic ONCE, as far as I can remember! It was for Deep V (rated E), a fic where Jon is trans and has dysphoric feelings about his chest, but decides he wants to try improving his relationship to it via kink. I made the mistake of openly asking for feedback on it when I posted it, and one of the more well-known assholes in the fandom (which I would learn after the fact), left a very nasty comment on it basically scolding me for even having written/shared it in the first place. Luckily I got a lot of useful advice and more friendly feedback/encouragement from much cooler people in the fandom, which was very nice and helped keep my feelings towards the fic largely positive! A harrowing but imo good learning experience in the end.

9. Do you write smut? // Yup! I have for a long time. It's generally my favorite kind of fic to read as well as write, though my tastes have been refining the last couple of years. I could write a whole big thing on my feelings about smut fic but I'll refrain this time!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? // I don't think I've ever written a crossover fic! Right now, the closest I've gotten is vaguely contributing too (and loudly supporting the creation of) a Murderbot/Among Us fic my roomie started a year or two ago. Which I need to continue yelling at them to publish... hehe.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? // Boy I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? // Yes, actually! Someone asked for permission to translate my OPM fic The Apron (rated E) into Russian! This is wild to me.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? // Yes, I'm actually co-writing one now with my friend V! It's an edited version of a long-going Jondaisy RP called Open Door (rated E). It's been a fun (if slow-going) project; it's an interesting challenge to go through an RP where we're each playing one character's part and try to edit it into a state that makes it more natural to read for others.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? // Jon/Daisy!!!! You might want to call recency bias, but they are simply Everything To Me that I've ever needed in a ship, actually, it's kind of insane how much of a hold they've taken over me. I look back on my older ships and I enjoy them all very much, but nothing hits the way jaisy does. I fear nothing else ever will... they're my true OTP...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? // I have quite a few... A lot that I really want to go back to... Probably my most ambitious and least likely would be And Only Space Stood Between Them, which is an unfinished Oban Star Racers fic that would've involved interplanetary space travel, worldbuilding for a planet and alien species that was only VERY lightly explored in the anime, two protagonists/alternating POVs, a huge cast of supporting characters, an overarching plot amidst a star-racing competition, and a developing friendship/romance(?) between Eva and Aikka. I had SUPER big aspirations for it, and only got to the 4th chapter, when Eva first leaves Earth to head for his home planet. In a perfect world I would write this space epic..... It is my dear wish that... maybe someday...................

16. What are your writing strengths? // I've been told I'm good at writing in-character, which I greatly appreciate as feedback and dearly hope is true. I personally think I'm actually pretty decent at naturalistic dialogue, which I often hear is a difficult aspect of writing for folks. I think I'm generally good at pacing too, and I'd like to say that descriptive imagery is a solid strength of mine, though that's an element of writing often subject to taste...

17. What are your writing weaknesses? // I have no idea if it's a real weakness but I often get self-conscious about my writing being boring or repetitive or trite or something, despite people telling me this isn't the case when I've asked. I think it's just a case of, despite how long I've been writing, I'm still relatively young and have a lot to learn; I'm still finding my confidence in my unique voice and what I'm good at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? // At the moment I only feel comfortable dabbling with the inclusion of Spanish, and only because I've been actively trying to learn it for a year. Even then, I basically only use it if I'm writing something with canonically Spanish-speaking characters. As a reader, it's something I really like to encounter when done well! Especially as a way to explore a diverse headcanon for a character.

19. First fandom you wrote for? // Pokemon!

20. Favorite First fic you’ve written? // (I actually misread this question, then decided to keep my first answer, because I'm so bad at picking a favorite fic! Honestly!)

Anyways, in terms of my first fic: it was a Pokemon fic with no main title. It's about a girl named Kim with a Charmander starter. She visits a pokemon center after adopting an abandoned and injured Growlithe, only to realize the center has been infiltrated by Team Rocket, who attempt to steal the Pokemon being healed there. I have an original, printed version of this fic in my stuff somewhere! I've daydreamed about making a comic out of it while keeping all the original narration/dialogue.

Okay, now I tag my dear friends. Obvs only do this if you want to~

@temporalreplicsimile , @callmearcturus, @zykaben, @ostentenacity

[natrome]

ok now that i for real know what my writing commitments are going to be for the next, like, year, at least the majority of them, here is the actual for real i s2g hold me to this writing schedule

Fic in a Box - due 10/15

1 assignment of 2k words remains, write it this saturday

Five Figure Fanworks Exchange - check in 11/11, due 1/20

i expect this will take about a week to finish, and ideally i'll have it done prior to check-in.

Yuletide - works due 12/18

UNLESS i get an assignment that i want to go hogwild on, which i should be prevented from doing, i should be able to finish this the week of 11/26 and not work on it outside of that.

galactic santas - est. due 12/25

my fave event of the year lol, the logh secret santa exchange. uh anyway this one is usually due around christmas and also is the easiest thing on this list by a mile and a half. i'm 0% worried about this one.

tomorrow ye will get your pay - aka the whale novel. - first draft due 3/1, physical product due for display 4/1

this is an extremely short timeline, and while it's not "drop everything else" level short, it is going to have to be my #1 writing priority for a long time.

my plan is as follows

spend the remainder of october getting situated w/ the research i'm going to have to do, figuring out who i need to talk to, etc. as well as put together a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline

nov/dec i'm assuming will be eaten by SMST and other commitments, but get research done and essentially braindump into document

jan/feb, just write as much as possible, take time off of work/quit job if i need to

if possible confine edits to the first 2 weeks of march, get books printed; deliver final product by last week of march.

god this schedule is miserable. well i signed up for it! i did this entirely to myself! lmfao.

anyway i'm going to bracket in that it's a 20 chapter novel, which seems like a reasonable number of chapters. i essentially have ~10 weeks to write this book. this is totally normal and fine, i have written longer books with less of a solid outline in shorter amounts of time. if i can just sit my ass in a chair and hammer out 2.5k words/day i will EASILY make this deadline and have time for editing. the issue will be making myself do that. but having a deadline and like professional accountability should majorly help. esp if i quit my stupid fucking job lol

serpent's mouth, serpent's teeth - due 12/31

i have four chapters left on SMST. i do not think they will be EASY to write but I do think that I'm CAPABLE of getting them done before the end of the year. at the very least i've sworn until i was blue in the face that i would finish this book by the end of the year. i need this book to stop haunting my waking nightmares lmfao. i estimate ~50-60k words remain, but we'll see what it actually ends up shaking out as. hopefully it's not more than that.

anyway this is another just "ass in chair" moment. though if i could have made myself do that months ago, this book would have been finished sometime this summer lol

every link was freedom's name - aka the fucking. arle heinessen play. no due date.

this is my yay you finished all the obligations you had now you get to do something deeply deeply stupid and entertaining only to a tiny number of people project. lyric play about arle heinessen. book of exodus pastiche. probably not that long. estimate it'll take me as long as POD did, so a month and a half? but i won't stress it. aim to finish it mid may?

new constellations - aka the logh rarepairs exchange i run

I'm planning to run signups in late march, with works due mid may. this is slightly earlier than last year but due to my own personal schedule i don't want it to overlap with...

heart attack exchange - works due 6/2

yeah you literally only get 2 weeks to work on this one so it kinda is what it is lol.

life out of balance rewrite. no particular due date.

i expect this will take me 3-4 months to complete. finish by september?

lighting out for the territories augmentation. no particular due date.

i'd like to think that i can get this done in 2 months but i don't actually have a plan for what i need to do to it. so who tf knows lol. assume it'll take me the rest of the year.

every hateful instrument - no firm date

this will likely take between 6-8 months to finish, but it's another thing that i really want to stop having hanging over me. i'll either work on it before the LOFTT stuff or after

WIAW phezzan novella - ultimate TBD

to be completed immediately before starting LL/SS, probably

other misc nonsense

there are other small exchanges that i like to do (space swap, unsent letters, we die like fen) so as those pop up i probably will sign up for them. i'm not going to look up/prognosticate when they will happen at this moment in time

god i owe so many people gifts for birthdays and holidays and stuff >.> you may or may not get them. lean towards may not b/c what the fuck is this writing schedule. i'm so sorry lmao

i've now gotten back around to "oh this goes up to the end of the year again, so the end of the year exchanges (yuletide, fffx, fiab, galactic santas) should be on this schedule" but down that road lies only pain and horror lol

this list has gotten incredibly vague as things have gone on. the last part of this year and the first part of next year are pretty set in stone though, and i just need to like, get myself to the starting block and then start running

literally so funny that i was like "i should relax and take a break from writing before starting LL/SS" lmfao. lmfao.

obviously some of these things could be deleted from the schedule. i don't have to do a bunch of exchanges (but i liiiiiike them) and i don't have to write a stupid play (but i wannnnnnt to), and i don't have to do any rewrites to the early parts of WIAW (but they're a mess). so it's like. idk. maybe none of this is real and i'm just making lists b/c i like making lists lol

[amateurd18]

Hii Ami!! Secret Santa here!! Happy Friday!! May your weekend be a long and restful one!! ✨

It was your friends birthday? Well, happy late birthday to them!! 🥳✨ you can never go wrong with Mexican food!!

Ooooo, you’re studying in Madrid? That’s so cool!! What are you studying, if you don’t mind me asking? I had a close friend study abroad in Spain for a semester and absolutely loved it there!! I totally feel you about wanting to move to London!! It sounds like a pretty nice place to live based on the things I hear about it. I remember when I was studying abroad, my friends and I planned our spring break trip to the UK for five days, but due to COVID, we got pulled from our program before we were even able to step foot on the plane there. So I still have that desire to visit the UK for that reason alone lol.

Same here!! I love sweet things, to an extent!! I don’t eat as much surgery things as I did when I was younger!! But when I do, cheesecake is the key to my heart!! Lol.

Thank you!! As of right now, all the owls are packed away from when I decorated my apartment for Christmas. After we introduce ourselves properly, I can definitely send you some photos of my prized ones!! They range from very tiny figures to relatively large ones!! I’m pretty proud of it!!

Lego does count as a collection item lol!! They’re so cool!! I really like the aspect of having to build them (that’s pretty obviously lol, but it truly is therapeutic in a sense!!). Hopefully one day, you can start that collection!! Is there one particular Lego set you would love to have?

Speed Round Answers: Movie/TV Shows? I wasn’t sure if you were asking if I preferred movies or tv shows lol?! I’d probably say tv shows because you can learn more about the characters and their stories through the lens of a series rather than their one dimensional aspects cut short for a movie!! Some of the most recent tv shows I’ve watched are Heartstopper, Young Royals, Wednesday (Netflix cancelled this show after the first season, and I will never forgive them for it!! It’s called The Society and I definitely recommend it if you haven’t watched it already!!) I’ve been rewatching a kids show named Chowder on Hulu for the nostalgia factor lol. Movies/books? Hmmmm… I like books, but I can appreciate a good movie!! I’d say the best book I read this year has been One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston. I highly recommend it!! Who doesn’t love sci-fi lesbian strangers to lovers!!!? Fav. season? The transitional period between summer and fall!! To me, that’s just the perfect weather!! Not too hot or humid, yet not too cold!! Beaches/Mountains? I’d probably live by the beach because I went to college up in the mountains and when it gets cold, it gets cold!!! I’ll risk living around the sand than anything else. City/countryside? I’ve always lived relatively close to the city, but I think it would be nice to get away from it all. Have my own home in a nice large area. But not too big that someone could be living in my home and I wouldn’t know it lol.

Here are more speed round questions, my dear!! Do you have a favorite piece(s) of comfort clothing? (Sweater? T-shirt? Shoes?) What are three things you know you can’t live without? Do you play/enjoy any games (whether that be video games, board games, card games, etc). 🎄✨

Helloo! How is your weekend going? Mine's been fab yay!

I'm doing a dual master - an MBA with a master in business analytics. Why I chose insanity is still unclear, but oh well. It's been hectic but good so no complaints.

I'm so sad that you missed London coz of covid, but here's hoping you can make it there soon. ✨

As far as the Lego goes, i have a long-ass list of very random ones i want. So in no particular order- the entire city collection, the Harry Potter castle, the life-size r2d2 from star wars and the formula 1 Ferrari cars. Is it obvious yet that i love really random stuff? 😂

I love your speed round answers, and I'm putting one last stop on my Christmas read list. Fav clothing: nothing specific, just track pants and a tee / shorts if it's summer. Jeans if i need to be presentable. Three things i can't live without: ooh that's hard. My phone, an internet connection and my earphones. I love board games! Monopoly is a household favourite, as is Uno when we're traveling. Do you have a favourite board game?

More questions: I'm assuming you speak Spanish, but any other languages you speak or want to learn? Do you have celeb crushes? Comfort movie that you'd watch at any point? Do you have a favourite Christmas food?

[non-un-topo]

Chronic pain pals! Anyone know of a decent and affordable backrest pillow (like one of those sturdy pillows with arms on the sides)? Can’t seem to find a good quality one, or one that’s easily washable.

[agustids]

A collection of BTS fanfics that I liked (u know the ❤ button), possibly some are re-read, since 2017. I hope you don’t mind that I like hurting my feelings most of the time with angst stories lol. my back hurts so much after compiling these fics ugh 

Warnings: some fics listed below contains smut (+18), better read the description of the story before proceeding. 

Will only update this masterpost every now and then. I will also set up a post with the stories I read in ao3 soon.

Feel free to suggest me stories that are not in this list <3 

Personal favorites (✬)

Kim Namjoon (k.nj)

➞ Letting Go (ft. p.jm) @bangtan-babe | angst, fluff

Min Yoongi (m.yg)

➞ Carousel ✬ @yoonia | angst, smut, suspense, arranged marriage!au  ➞ Wildest Moments @joonbird | angst, smut ➞ The Tenth Floor (ft. k.th) @notsoguiltykpop | fluff, humor, some angst ➞ Slytherin to my Heart @bangtan-insfired | angst, fluff, hogwarts!au ➞ Lesson Learned @chyubs | fluff  ➞ La Douleur Exquise @cinnaminsvga | fluff, angst, smut, incubus!yoongi ➞ The Wicked Witch @jimlingss | angst, fluff, drama, soap opera!au ➞ 2 am @sunshinejoon | angst ➞ Pipe dreams @chinesesuga | angst, fluff, smut (eventually) ➞ The Crown (ft. j.jk)  @sopewriters | angst ➞ Garden in my heart @army-author | fluff, bad boy!yoongi ➞ I want to be the one you write your love songs about @jiminandlemonade | angst, fluff ➞ Blackthorne Manor ✬ @kpopfanfictrash | gothic romance!au, mystery ➞ Signed in Black @yoon-kooks |  soulmate!au, bad boy!au, fluff, eventually smut ➞ Cool cats (and dogs, too) @gukyi | dad!au ➞ Inheritance @jincherie | hybrid!au ➞ Somebody Else ✬ @jjkthclub | angst, infidelity ➞ Internet Friends  ✬ @etherealino | social media!au, fluff ➞ The Devil Herself @jiminiethot | demon!oc, explicit smut  ➞ Sugar pie, honey bunch! @bangtaninink | sugar daddy!au ➞ Cut me open part 1, part 2 @hayjeon | smut, married, surgeon!au ➞ Camouflage @fairyscribbles | zombie!au ➞ interlude; dream, reality @dat-town | fluff, slice of life ➞ Lethal @analovegirl | explicit smut, fluff ➞ Piano notes @exi-dentally | school!au ➞ Late Bloomer @tayegi | werewolf!au, smut ➞ 72 miles   ✬  @namjoonchronicles | heavy angst, slight fluff   ➞ Black & White @akinnie75 | romance, fluff, slight angst, slow burn ➞ All I want for Christmas @hayjeon | single dad and ceo!yoongi ➞ Bunny Blues (ft. j.jk, k.nj) @httpjeon | hybrid!reader, angst, fluff, future smut ➞ Leave me @itsamejin | cheating, toxic relationship!au, angst ➞ Away from Me ✬  @personasintro | fluff, angst, smut, divorce!au ➞ Droplets @bts-timestories | historical, arranged marriage!au, yandere themes ➞ Goodbye @itsamejin | angst ➞ Heartstring Melodies (ft.j.jk) ✬ @whitesparrows97 | soulmates!au, angst ➞ I feel you in my heart (ft. j.jk)  ✬ @purpletaecup | drama, angst, romance, second chance ➞ Divorce @xjamlessparkx | angst

Park Jimin (p.jm)

➞ Blazing Arrows (ft. j.jk) @kingminie | fluff, angst, future smut, supernatural!au ➞ You are Really Perfect (pt 1), I was afraid to lose you (pt 2) @justtextmeoppa | slight angst, fluff in the end ➞ Neighbour @moonlitjiminn | fluff, romance ➞ The Arrangement @kpoptart216 | angst, arranged marriage!au ➞ I’ll never be her  ✬  @anon-luv | angst, romance  ➞ Chained to you @addicktjimin | tiny angst, fuck boi!jimin ➞ Taste the party (ft. j.jk) @winetae | smut, idol!au ➞ Temporary Bliss  @jjkthclub | angst ➞ Park Jimin @chulobangtan | angst ➞ Over Again @yoonia | pianist!au, artist reader!au, angst, slight smut ➞ A Serpent’s Flower, Sowing a Sapling (sequel)  ✬  | hogwarts professors !au, smut, married   ➞ Better @jeonggukookies | bestfriend!jimin, fluff/slow burn angst ➞ Come Home to me, Darling ✬ @roses-ruby |  cheating!au, angst, smut , fluff  ➞ Opposites Attract @kpopfanfictrash | hogwarts!au, smut ➞ Bloom ✬ @jamaisjoons | hanahaki!au, angst, smut ➞ Charity @inkjam-moon | royalty!au, fluff, light angst, smut ➞  A Sensitivity to Ephemera @akinnie75 | fluff, tragic, slow burn, romance

Kim Taehyung (k.th)

➞ Rent-a-Boyfriend™ @jimlingss | fluff ➞ Strawberry Shortcake (ft. j.jk) @btsinned | smut, angst, fluff, strawberry farmer!taehyung ➞ Pulse  @rohobi | angst, smut, medical!au ➞ Begin Again (ft. m.yg) @writtenyoongi | single parent!au, fluff, angst, sprinkle of smut ➞ Sweetpea (ft. j.jk) @nitaescence | explicit smut, ddlg!au ➞ Silver and blue series @untaemedqueen | werewolf!au ➞ Remember This ✬ @yoohtae | weddingplanners!au, angst

Jeon Jungkook (j.jk)

➞ Baby, My Baby  @pjimims | angst, fluff, parents!au ➞ Flirt (ft. k.th)  @slyscenarios | angst, smut, fuckboy!jk ➞ The Lost Memories  @gujoonim | angst, romance ➞ Daddy Issues  @euphorianyx | smut, fluff, angst ➞ A Story that we paint  @thedefinitionofbts | college!au, future, scifi, slight fluff and angst ➞ The Truth about Forever  @thedefinitionofbts | romance, implied smut, angst, slice of life ➞ Surrender  @infiresjimin | angst, smut ➞ You’ll be okay  @bangtan-babe | angst, fluff ➞ It ain’t me  @inferno-loop | social media!au  ➞ Cherry (ft. k.th)  @esqeon | angst, friends to lovers!au ➞ Attention  @btees | fluff, angst, some smut, college!au ➞ Kalopsia  @erosjeon | fluff, smut, hybrid!jungkook ➞ Hurricane  @planetjeon | angst   ➞ Ice Queen  ✬  @kookmejeon | social media!au   ➞ DNA @btssavedmylifeblr | dystopian smut, future, angst ➞ Lust and Limerence @btsfanficss | angst, fluff, harry potter!au ➞ New Rules ✬  @tayegi | angst, smut, fratboy!jungkook   ➞ The Boy Who Left @gujoonim | angst, ceo!au  ➞ 3:00 AM @oceanjoon | angst, cheating ➞ Image, Bad Boy @kittentaegu |  bad boy!au, angst, fluff, smut ➞ About Time (ft. p.jm) ✬  @yoonia | time leap!au, soulmate!au ➞ Dear Jungkook @fatrainbowmermaidunicorn | angst ➞ Comfort Inn Ending @joonbird | angst, smut ➞ Ego  @suga-kookiemonster | smut ➞ Witch Hazel @yoon-kooks |  fanfic writer!jungkook, idol!reader, college!au, angst, fluff ➞ All in my head @fatrainbowmermaidunicorn | angst w/ happy ending ➞ Mistake (pt 1), Obsessed (pt 2) @whipped-for-kpop-fics | smut, noona kink ➞ Time to let go @mywrittings | angst, bestfriend!au  ➞ Piano Tiles @bobagukk |  angst, fluff, smut; chaebol!jungkook, pianist!y/n ➞ Four Letters (ft. m.yg) ✬ @littlemisskookie | angst, smut, fwb!jungkook, icequeen!reader ➞ Winter Court series (ft. k.th)  ✬ @koyamuses | angst, slowburn, fantasy, romance ➞ Park’s Paradise of Muggle Merchandise @kittae | hogwarts!AU, drabble, ravenclaw!jungkook ➞ Holy hell @arcadeguk | greek mythology!au  ➞ For Science ✬ @boymeetsweevil | nerd!jungkook, smut, angst ➞ Hidden under the covers @yoon-ing | college!au ➞ Puzzle @kimvvantae | smut, angst, comedy, fwb!jungkook ➞ Strike Three ✬ @avveh | explicit smut ➞ Different Paths @taehyungiejiminie95 | angst, ex-bf!jungkook ➞ Fierce and Delicate (pt 1), Felicity (pt 2) ✬  @mintseesaw | smut, angst, fluff, husband!jungkook ➞ The Morning After ✬ @jungkookiebus | smut, fluff   ➞ Secret Slut @jeonsweetpea | smut, ceo!reader, personal assistant!jungkook ➞ Long lost ✬  @gukyi | childhood friends!au, celebrity!au   ➞ Moving On @taeguboi | angst ➞ Low Expectations @vin-taege | angst, eventual smut, l2e2l ➞ Netflix and Chill @badbhye | smut ➞ Rigor Mortis ✬ @readyplayerhobi | smut, angst, horror, fluff, police officer!jungkook   ➞ The Lionheart’s Oath ✬  @sugaxjpg | angst, fluff, smut, fantasy, knight!jungkook   ➞ Freesia @eleventoes | childhood friends to lovers!au, semi-bad boy!jk, fluff ➞ The Turing Test @fortunexkookie | android!au, fluff, explicit smut, angst ➞ Mr and Miss Perfect @kookscript |  hogwarts!au, fluff, angst-ish ➞ Lonely Heart , part 2 @scenarioslovers | married!au, infidelity, angst ➞ (y)our name @jjkpls | fluff, angst, smut ➞ Speak Now @bbangtan-ddaeng | angst, cheating ➞ Navy @jjkfire | childhoodfriend!AU, idol!AU ➞ Vaunt @yminie | explicit smut, frat boy!jungkook ➞ Take a Chance @crystaljins | hanahaki!au ➞ Moirai @taeken-my-heart | soulmates!au, angst, e2l ➞ Blindfold @themfchase | explicit smut, college!au ➞ Bam! you got scammed! @dovechim | explicit smut ➞ Tooth and Claw @johobi | explicit smut, werewolf!au ➞ Full Stop @1oserjk | divorce!au, angst ➞ Blizzard, part 2 ✬  @curly-bangtan | romance, smut, dosmetic!au ➞ Growing Pains @rkiverse | fluff, angst, quarterback!jungkook ➞ Monster @btssmutgalore | frat boy!jungkook, explicit smut ➞ Bandslam @ironicarmy | band!au, smut, e2l ➞ Young God @njssi | smut, nonidol!au, brother’s best friend!au ➞ Falling into you @kookingtae | college!au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd!jk  ➞ Rough Edges @kjhmyg | badboy!jungkook, explicit smut ➞ On my mind @angelguk | fluff, smut, domestic!au ➞ Worst of You @oureuphoria | fluff, angst, comedy, police officer!jungkook ➞ Bunny Troubles @appreciatethefoolishness |  fluff, future smut, hybrid!jungkook ➞ Rattled series ✬ @gukslut | singledad!jungkook, angst, smut, romance ➞ He won’t know @jgukmilk | cheating!au, smut, slight, angst ➞ Number Neighbor @sevenforeverbulletproof | social media!au ➞ One year, my love ✬ @hayjeon | historical!au, fluff, angst, smut ➞ You belong with me @joonscroll | angst, fluff ➞ Chasing pavements ✬ @guklvr | dad!jungkook, f2l, angst, unrequited feelings au, sad stuff, future smut ➞ To tame a god ✬ @jeonstudios | fantasy, werewolf!au ➞ Broken Dreams @ddaenysus | soulmate!au, angst, unrequited love ➞ Through the night @nightbts |  fluff, angst, idol! au, friends to lovers!au ➞ Effortlessly @gyukult | fluff, smut, romance ➞ Crybaby @lavishedinjimin | explicit smut, somewhat a ddlg!au ➞ Still with you @ddaengqyu | angst, fluff, idol!au ➞ Rebound (ft. k.th) @btssaysstudy | angst ➞ I want a baby @codenameskye | angst ➞ Somewhere only we know ✬ @userseok | hybrid!au, angst ➞ Aphrodite in war @jungblue | comedy, angst, eventual smut ➞ Easy @itsamejin | angst, fluff, fuck boi!jungkook ➞ Tell me no lies @jeongi |  ceo!jungkook, angst, smut, minimal fluff ➞ After I left you @latetaektalk |  exes! AU, fake dating! AU, enemies to lovers-ish! AU, unrequited feelings-ish! AU, angst, fluff ➞ Fine Line @voidswan-main | fuck boi!jungkook ➞ Heart of the Storm @ladyartemesia | fluff, smut, hint of angst ➞ Come back to me ✬ @bonnyskies | angst, sexual themes, idol!au, marriage!au, parents!au ➞ Good Girl @bonny-kookoo | mild ddlg!au, smut, fluff, little angst ➞ Love to hate you @latetaektalk | angst, fluff, sexual themes, fake dating!au ➞ Lonely hearts club @dovechim | e2l, smut ➞ Tiger lily @v-hope |  fluff, slight angst, smut, college!au ➞ Alpha Jeon @pbandjk | werewolf!au ➞ Claws of carnality @jjungkooksthighs | smut, werewolf!au ➞ Your eyes tell ✬ @njkbangtan | soulmates!au, angst ➞ All over you @zibermuda |  smut, e2l, nerd!jk ➞ I hate you, I love you @jungblue | angst, smut ➞ Hand in the Kookie jar @mama-m0chi | bbf / baby daddy!jungkook, smut ➞ Zoom Call @1kook | fluff, slice of life, smut ➞ The dark prince @jkeuphoriadreamland | yandere, royalty!au, smut, angst ➞ Stolen dances ✬ @taeyohonic | bestfriend!jungkook, my bestfriend’s wedding ➞ Ego killer @zibermuda | smut, e2l, fuck boi!jk  ➞ From home @gyukult | fakedating!au, fluff, angst, e2l, smut ➞ Confident @h0neypjm | smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuck boi!jungkook ➞ Dire @whatifyoulivelikethat | smut, werewolf!au ➞ Please love me ✬ @ahundredtimesover | angst, arranged marriage!au, smut ➞ Evolution of a lover’s heart @jeonstudios | fluff, angst, fuck boi!jungkook ➞ Decalcomania ✬ @koyalov | angst, fluff, idol!au ➞ Almost home ✬ @angelguk | dad!jungkook, angst ➞ Delivery boy @pbandjk | angst, fluff, smut, becoming parents!au ➞ Magic Shop @njkbangtan | childhood best friends to lovers, drama, angst, fluff, slow burn ➞ [Your] love’s the only hoax I believe in @sparklingchim | angst, smut, fuck boi!jungkook ➞ Stem major!koo x cold senior!y/n ✬ @jiminrings | bullet fic, fluff, angst ➞ Spellbound to be @rosaetae |  vampire!jungkook, fantasy!au, soulmate!au, angst ➞ Lost Stars @rookiegukie | fluff, angst, roommates!au, e2l ➞ Lovefool @citrustan | angst, smut, fluff ➞ An ode to a broken heart @smoochkooks | unrequited love, heavy angst, eventually smut ➞ Anemoia @vantaenims | futuristic!au, fluff, mystery ➞ Once upon a bracelet @ladyartemesia | fantasy, soulmates!au, e2l ➞ The fact is @bangtanreadingcorner | romance ➞ Deus ex machina ✬ @readyplayerhobi | angst, android!jungkook ➞ Aquarium @whatifyoulivelikethat | heavy angst, cheating, non-idol!au ➞ The alchemy of amor @army-author | fluff, fantasy!au, e2l ➞ Drown for you ✬ @jeonstudios | merman/siren!jungkook, angst, fluff, smut ➞ Granite glow ✬ @namjoonchronicles | slice of life, videographer jungkook au, marriage au, angst, fluff ➞ Orange Tulips @kainks | soulmate!au, reincarnation!au, fluff, angst, light smut ➞ Cotton Candy @velocitae | fluff, slight angst, slight smut, werewolf!jungkook ➞ Strings  @minsuxga | soulmates!au, angst

➞ Hotbot @httpjeon | angst, fluff, smut

[marshallpupfan]

I recently got some more Marshall merchandise! I haven't even found room yet for the last stuff I purchased... 😅

I've seen these "Stampers" before on Ebay, but this is the first time I've ever found any in a store near me. The back shows a bunch of different versions, including three of Marshall. This is the only one they had, so hopefully I can find the others someday!

I think this is supposed to be a pillow? A tiny pillow, at that! I know they have much bigger versions, and some of which can even project lights and shapes onto the ceiling! Sadly, this one cannot, but it's still really cute! I seen it on Ebay for $5 and figured why not!

A new Hallmark ornament! At least, I think it's new? I seen it listed on Target's website, but it said it was only available online. It cost $7, and Target gives you free shipping if your total order is over $35, so...

...I purchased the Mega Bloks "Marshall's Ultimate Fire Truck" set alongside it! Oh, you KNOW I had to add this to my collection! It's his Ultimate Fire Truck! And Marshall in his Ultimate Fire Gear, my #1 favorite outfit of his! It's the pup at his ultimate-est! Seriously, it's so... ULTIMATE!!! Oh yeah, Skye's there, too. lol

I haven't put it together yet, but I'll likely do that soon. But can I say how awesome it is that we got TWO pieces of Ultimate Fire Rescue merchandise this year?! I really hope this means we'll see it again in the cartoon soon! Season 9 could seriously use more Marshall. 🙏

Last, and it's a bit of a doozy; it's one of those yard inflatables! Halloween Marshall's rocking that outfit, as always! 😁

I've only ever seen a few of these around where I live, including last year when someone had a holiday-themed Marshall in their front yard around Christmas! I've always thought about getting one, but I never could find any in stores. Fortunately, my local Walmart ended up getting this one in stock, and when my folks seen it, they bought it because they really wanted me to have it! A big thanks to them once again for yet another great gift! If I ever do display it in our yard, I'll be sure to take some pics! (I'm not 100% sure yet if I will, since I'm kind of paranoid now about it getting dirty or torn up. 😅)

Well, that's all for now!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey do you have any fics where john sits in sherlocks lap? Like in any way, shaoe or firm thats just my fave trope. Love your content btw.

Hey Lovely!!

Ahhh, because of you, I started a list, so not everything nor a lot is here, sadly! I never had the foresight to consider it as something people would want, so I’ve never tagged fics, LOL. Here’s what I got that have some sort of Lap Sitting in the fic! 

Feel free, Lovelies, to add your own recs!!

LAP SITTING

The Healing Touch by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 2,307 w., 1 Ch. || Caretaking,  Domestic Fluff, Stroppy Sherlock, John Loves Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sofa Cuddles, Insecure Sherlock) – Sherlock's broken his foot and he's becoming unbearably stroppy. Good thing John has the healer's touch... ;) Part 3 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Where You Are by Mazarin221b (E, 2,478 w., 1 Ch. || Beach Sex, First Time, Fluff, Smut, Holidays, Pining, Lap Sitting, Stroppy Sherlock, Touching) – He can admit he’s secretly a little glad Sherlock didn’t come with him. He needs a break. Sherlock is a handful at the best of times, and the near-constant apologizing, fixing, dealing-with, and following up on is exhausting. The near-constant unrequited attraction is a bit exhausting, too, to be honest, and John could really use a tiny bit of rest from the relentless hammering on his brain and heart.

Rumpled by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 3,601 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Insecure Sherlock, Fluff, PWP, Proposal, Bottomlock) – Then, halfway through a documentary on river otters that neither of them was paying attention to--how could John, with a gangly, limp consulting detective practically purring in his lap?--Sherlock suddenly bolted upright, looked at John with a perplexed expression and a crinkle above his nose, and blurted, “Marry me.” Part 4 of Longitudinal Cohort

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

Insanity in the Middle by DotyTakeThisDown (E, 28,010 w., 8 Ch. || Equestrian Sports AU || Alternate First Meeting, POV John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Clueless Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Passionate Kisses, Hand Holding, Caught Making Out, Bed Sharing, Spooning, Blow Job) – John is a world-class eventing rider with a gold medal and several four-star wins to his credit, but he's never won at Rolex. Sherlock is an up-and-coming rider taking the sport by storm.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

[wexhappyxfew]

The Sun Will Always Rise || Ronald Speirs

inspired by a quote from Ruta Sepetys’ book, Between Shades of Grey ~ ❛you stand for what is right, without the expectation of gratitude or reward. ❜

Happy HBO War Secret Santa 2020! I can’t believe the time has officially arrived and to say I am beyond excited for this lil Ronald Speirs imagine I cooked up, is an understatement. This is for @incorrectbandofbrothersquotes​ , for Kelsey!! It’s not as much of a Christmas theme, more of a snowy, wintry theme, which I love!!

I was beyond excited to take up a request for Secret Santa and laying out my options, going off your list, I chose Ronald Speirs to write for you - I am so happy with how this turned out, and I hope, more than anything, you enjoy it and it brings some holiday cheer to this time of year, especially after a year where it seems like every thing that happened just got worse and worse.

Take time to yourself this holiday season, Kelsey, and you enjoy some time for yourself as well - you are such a wonderful human being, who I believe if I’m correct, I have followed since Day 1 in this fandom, nearly 2 years ago - if that even sounds right LOL! It’s been a long while though! Happy reading and happy holidays for whatever holiday you celebrate, or if you don’t celebrate any at all! Thank you and enjoy! And thank you @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant for doing this!!! <3

ronald speirs imagine x reader - 2.5k word count <3 

Captain Speirs had been rather adamant on letting you go early from the tiny meeting Captain Winters had organized - between the runny nose, your numb fingertips, and your pale cheeks which seemed to stand out especially in the bleak wilderness around you, you figured it was for the best. 

Haguenea, France was far from the paradise that Mourmelon-le-Grande had offered back in the convent in Rachamps when it was the only thought inside your mind, the warmth reaching your hands for the first time in what felt like months. 

Now, your toes were numb just like your mind. Your helmet was cast down over your tired eyes, the dark rims that had accompanied you through Bastogne, along with the terrors of the Bois Jaque, you were surprised that you could no longer get a proper night of sleep at this point. 

OP 2 stood with its bullet speckled fortifications, shattered glass window panes, and mud covered path way but more than anything you felt a tiny smile poke up at the corner of your mouth, more than anything in that moment. 

Crossing your arms across your chest, you tucked your little hands towards the coat portion near your armpits, relishing the bit of warmth your body still managed to produce. 

Moving up the few steps you had taken that morning, up to the depths of OP 2, you stomped the bits of mud out from the portions of your new winter-boots pack and pushed inside the bit of warmth that drifted from the outpost. 

You could hear a few of the men moving around downstairs, most likely eating their fill before the patrol slated for 0100 tonight. It was quiet on the main level though, beds left unmade from where men had taken much-needed naps from the bitter cold which brought on layers of tiredness and loss of calories more than the normal days of what war brought. 

Pulling the Thompson from your shoulder, you let it drop into your cold hands before lying it beside the bunk you, yourself had taken a nap in before you had woken up for the meeting. 

Yawning, you glanced towards the open French doors that let in the cold draft of air in the late, dreary afternoon. The quiet river that trailed outside let it’s soft presence be known as the sun did its best to warm the land underneath which lay tattered in ruins and soaking snow and mud pits, decorating it with war. 

Moving outside again, you let your pistol bump at your hip - no one wanted to start another battle when the war had already taken enough, no one wished to throng bullet after bullet towards one another when there was already so much bloodshed - for a moment there was simply just peace as you moved outside towards the river. 

Turning the corner, where you had found a little secluded spot to just sit and let the tiny bit of peace you felt overtake you, you noticed a figure standing stiffly, his dark eyes looking out across the river, with a scarf pulled up around his stubble cheeks, eyes evidently alert and awake. 

You had found the area just that day, frosted hedges and a leafless tree hanging overhead with the dreary sky as a saddening backdrop. 

Clearing your throat, you took a tentative step forward, watching the man with gentle eyes. He didn’t seem to notice your presence, he didn’t make a show of it, but you knew he did, by the subtle shift in the way his shoulders dropped the slightest inch, and even his eyes seemed to soften, the hard glow from your side view of him fading. 

Captain Speirs seemed no stranger to your presence in the simple way, he suddenly turned his own head towards your eyes, his lips pulled into the thin line you had seen previously at the small gathering with Captain Winters. 

“ I thought I told you to get some rest, Lieutenant.” he said, his eyes softly moving up and down your small stature, stopping briefly on your hands which looked nearly as pale as the sky by that point - you looked so fragile and small in his eyes for a moment. 

“ Sleeping and I aren’t exactly compatible.” you said as you approached him, your feet in the mud covered boots slowing to a pause in front of him as he watched you earnestly.

“ What are you doing out here, Lieutenant?” 

“ I could ask the same of you, sir.” you answered quietly back, watching as he studied your eyes, noticing the build of stress lines that stretched like the horizon underneath your stressed eyes, the sunken in cheeks showing the wounds of war in someone who had fought so strongly against it and the pain of a million souls rupturing your heart. A slight hint of a smile poked up at the corner of his lips, as he finally rested his eyes on your own again, before looking back out towards the river and the enemy’s side.

“ It’s peaceful out here.” he said and you watched as he let his eyes move along the bank of water, softly picking on each and every little part of the river from its banks to the white caps. 

“ I’m glad I’m not the only one who found it peaceful then.” you said quietly, your own eyes caring out towards the, admittedly, cold water. Slowly, willing yourself with the might you had, you walked forward and slowly positioned yourself beside the man, barely reaching his shoulder if you could admit it and let your eyes remain out on the river. 

Captain Ronald Speirs had come into your life only recently, but even years before you had bumped into him on occasion - it was always a mutual greeting, signs of respect being passed between the two of you, both Lieutenants in your own realms. He had even complimented the dress you’d been wearing out on the town one night with a group of the guys in Aldbourne after the Normandy Campaign. He had liked the color - it had been a soft baby blue, like robin’s eggs - and he had liked it. 

Of course at the time, you hadn’t thought much of it, the sun rising and setting, the moon coming out to expose the raw pain and truth of war, the bloodshed and endless battles and the grief that consumed merely just one person after the next - you’d forgotten about it almost instantly. You still remembered the softness of his eyes - that hadn’t changed. 

Now, he was your CO and you remained a close Second to him; he turned to you when he wanted to run something over, and on occasion, you two shared a cigarette under the moonlight when all the men were tucked away and finally getting the restful sleep they deserved. 

“ What do you think’s gonna happen on that patrol tonight, Lieutenant?” he asked you, voice soft, in a way gentle, but the soft rasp of a cough in his throat was far from evident. He always seemed to confide in you when these circumstances arose - especially after Rachamps. 

“ I think the men will be okay, they’ve fought for a while in this war, just as the enemy has. They’ll do their best.” They were tired is what she wanted to say, all the men were - she gave a prayer to Sergeant Martin for the heed he took when assigned to lead the patrol over the exhausted Sergeant Malarkey. 

“ They’ve all fought long enough.” the Captain said quietly and you peaked a hesitant glance up towards him. Your heart didn’t fail to speed up the slightest bit at the gentle nature that encased his face and the way he seemed to undoubtedly care for each of the men like a father would. 

Turning from the river, he slowly met your eyes which didn’t falter in looking away from his own - you were rather mesmerized by his beautiful irises, the way they glowed even in darkness or in the bleak snow, even when the sun would rise, they glowed so purely. 

“ Sir….I….” He watched you speak, head inclined towards you, waiting for the words from your lips, but you were caught up with the caring nature he seemed to inhibit within himself in that moment of time where there was no war, no peace, just him and his eyes, and just...him. 

“ I know you care for these men, Y/N.” Captain Speirs whispered softly, as he watched your eyes change from the stressed expression they seemed to constantly encompass to a gentleness, a warmth, merely at the direct comment of her name and not just the soft rasp of Lieutenant - no he had said your name. So softly and tenderly, each letter off the tongue like a song. 

“ I’ve been with them since Toccoa, sir….I…” your shoulders managed to slump as you found yourself unable to finish your sentence under the Captain’s gaze, unable to process mere words. 

“ These men don’t deserve this Y/N, I know that and so does Captain Winters - I think we all do.” 

“ Battalion’s orders.” you managed out weakly, with an attempt at a frosted smile as he nodded, watching the sadness flood your eyes again - he found out he didn’t like seeing your beautiful eyes sad like that, even if they still looked just as beautiful, your eyes didn’t deserve to see and feel such pain, for their mere beauty was worth much more. 

“ You don’t deserve this either, Y/N.” Shutting your eyes for a moment, you felt your heart squeeze at his words - you always thought in some way you had - for the lives you took, for the ones you couldn’t prevent being taken, from everything. In some ways, it was alright - to pay your dues as such. 

“ You deserve to be happy, warm...in a little cottage by the sea that you’ve always liked…” 

He had LISTENED to that story? He had HEARD that story? 

You swore it must’ve been the fever or maybe that the recollection you had was just you mumbling to yourself, you swore it had been.

“ You heard all that?” you asked softly, your eyes opening as you met his own again. A chuckle left his lips and you found it enough to boost your own into a shy smile at it, his eyes downcast before glancing up to your own. He had a nice laugh.

“ Yeah, yeah I did,” he said biting back his lips as a smile crossed his lips, twinkling eyes shining on you,” must’ve been the fever but you were going on and on about it and I wasn’t going to stop you either.” You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head at your clumsy way of speech - through a fever and the cold and you had blabbered to Captain Speirs about the cottage by the sea you wished for. 

Both your smiles seemed to fall once the moment past and almost like a little angel on your shoulder, your heart pleaded to see that dash of a boyish grin on his lips again. Your heart nearly yearned for it when it’s only human contact was the Captain in front of her - maybe she wanted it too. 

And from the proximity of your bodies, you were nearly in reach of him. 

“ Your eyes..-” Softly looking towards you as you spoke, your lip hanging open a bit as you met them again,”...I mean, sir, I..I don’t know if you’ve been told, but you’re eyes…” He watched you softly.

“ They’re beautiful, sir, and I just thought you should know.” Because in war, this war, I may never see you after tonight, you wished to say, but your head was saying no as your heart was saying yes. 

The smile that had gone underground on the Captains’ face suddenly grew, spreading across his face and you couldn’t help but let your breath get caught in your throat. 

An ethereal being was your first thought. 

It seemed like he too was caught at a similar crossroads, his eyes betraying him and his heart - you were within reach, you were standing right there, despite everything. 

You were standing there with a wounded heart. 

“ I could say the same to you,” he said quietly,” Lieutenant.” Your heart squeezed the slightest bit tighter as he said it.

“ Baby blue,” he said quietly,” like robin’s eggs.” Your eyes carried up to his again and you met them within seconds, suddenly aware of the heat on your cheeks, the pounding of your heart - none of it.

“ I didn’t just notice that dress you wore that day, Lieutenant,” he said quietly,” I noticed those eyes too.” He swore they could make the sun want to rise on its worst days. You swore it was just the cold, but you had no words left to say, you had nothing to say at all - because his eyes which glowed like the sun, said it all. 

“ Sir….” you whispered, but he suddenly turned and gently pressed his hands which had been crossed over his chest, flush against your red cheeks and watched you tenderly, his thumbs brushing against the sensitive skin of your sunken in cheeks, as he watched your eyes. He watched you so selflessly, like you were his sun, his world. 

Could a person ever mean that much to another - maybe Ronald Speirs thought that way. 

Maybe he always had. 

It seemed for a moment the stoic Captain did everything to break down the walls which encapsulated him just so he could touch the human in front of him - you. The bit of warmth he still felt under his fingertips coming from you. 

Softly, ever so lovingly, he shut his eyes as you watched his long lashes cover his irises. 

And in that moment, you shut your own as he held your there, inches from his face, faintly hearing his heartbeat which raced for the first time since Foy. 

“ You stand for what is right, Y/N, without the expectation of gratitude or reward.” he whispered softly as your heart rushed and hurriedly skipped over a beat without hesitation,” And through this war, even after, it’s all you deserve.” 

And within a moment, a softness pressed against your cold cheek, the touch of his lips on your skin, a gentle kiss from the servant of the sun - and just as fast as it had happened it disappeared. 

Your own hands slowly moved upward towards your flushed cheeks - you could still feel the brush of his lips against the skin of your cheek. 

Opening your eyes, you found yourself alone, all alone by the rushing water of the river, your heart pounding. Slowly, you glanced over your shoulder and found the figure of the Captain moving away from you, his commanding presence which had fallen to his queen for a mere moment of time, back up. 

Yet you had seen it fall, and you had seen his heart, his beautiful heart - for not only were his eyes as beautiful as they had been, but so was his heart - it had always been, but this time, so was everything else about him. 

Everything.

The sun smiled, it would always rise. 

The sun would always rise. 

[incognitajones]

20 stories, 20 first lines

@cats-and-metersticks tagged me!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 authors!

[cut after the first five, because this gets long]

1. True and False: “Kaytoo said you wanted to see me.” Jyn hadn’t been happy to hear it—a summons from General Draven was rarely good news—but she’d swallowed her reluctance, like the good little Alliance soldier she was trying to be, and reported to the briefing room.

(I cheated & included two lines because starting with dialogue is always a little limited, imo)

too long, but at least it outlines the dynamic quickly

2. ask again later: Jyn knew what she was doing when she went behind Cassian’s back.

pretty decent, sets up the main story issue right away

3. we haunt ourselves: Davits Draven is a haunted man, but that’s nothing unusual.

clichéd, but gets the job done

4. Trick or Treat [a random collection of prompt fills, but the most recent chapter posted is long enough to be a stand-alone story, so I decided it counts]: This was supposed to be the perfect date.

not bad; you can sense the "but" coming, which gives it some tension

5. Unexpected: Tall, dark, and miserable at the end of the bar was drinking expensive bourbon like soda pop.

somewhat better attempt at establishing setting & mood right away

6. pulse to pulse: Cassian’s bones burned from the marrow out and lightning crackled along his nerves.

aiming for evocative, landed on vague and meaningless

[These next three are drabbles, which makes it hard to judge, since one sentence can be 10-20% of the whole thing]

7. Healing Process: Bodhi tells himself this is not so different: maybe he’s never been with two people at once before, but sex is sex.

8. Revealed: Din never saw his second mother’s face until the day she died.

9. Recruitment: Draven didn’t expect many useful recruits from Dantooine’s smashed Separatist cell.

10. Design Flaw: “Bodhi Rook. Are you unoccupied for the next five to ten minutes?”

a good example of why it rarely works to start with dialogue

11. Life Sentence: The most confusing thing about being rescued from prison was the lethargy and lack of purpose.

possibly the worst of the lot; not only is it boring, it's grammatically wonky

12. root system: It takes far less time than Prax would’ve expected to disentangle him and his daughter from an entire life on Ganymede.

a bit clumsy but again, at least it establishes the premise quickly

13. Filling the Role: Jyn Erso never listened to her impulses; it was too dangerous to act without knowing each and every variable, as far as possible.

not bad - it's appropriate that it sort of plays against type for the character, since this is an AU

14. what stranger miracles: Ben can’t even manage to die right, apparently.

another short but decent one

15. It Must be Christmas Time: Jyn walked into the the café and stopped short, almost skidding on the wet floor in her snowy boots.

meh--the only thing it manages to do is establish the season, but the title alone would do that

16. ask me no questions: Early afternoon is a slow time at the spaceport on Ord Mantell, and the mag train out is nearly empty.

double meh

17. A Presence of Departed Acts: Rey didn’t recognize Kylo Ren’s face at first. But then, she’d only seen him unmasked twice, and the last time had been seven years ago.

this one is pretty good, especially with the second sentence (which is included since I waffled back & forth on whether to combine them into one)

18. Bilateral Treaty Negotiations: As soon as he handed his invitation to the protocol droid for scanning and stepped inside the Royal Palace of Alderaan, Bail realized this gala, announced as a celebration of the coming of spring, was actually a job interview.

the longest of the bunch--definitely too long

19. disassemble my despair: Poe was one of the few people Rey trusted to fly her anywhere, but her fingers still twitched with the desire to grab the throttle out of his hands.

another extremely meh one

20. Dispatches [another collection of prompts, so I picked the last chapter added]: The tiny shed that Cassian called his office was crammed to the ceiling with boxes of disposable gloves, gauze pads, and other stuff Jyn couldn’t recognize.

not great but conveys setting

Wow, I knew I wasn't good at writing pithy but evocative opening sentences but it's kind of a let-down to see it proven, lol. Out of 20 I'd rate 8 as decent to good. I don't see any strong patterns, although they do tend to be fairly short, and I open with dialogue less than I'd have guessed. Of these, my favourite is probably #17 since it plants a hook pretty well and it's one of the few that came to me easily.

I've lost track of who's done this meme recently and who hasn't, so I'm just tagging @englishable and @fulcrumstardust --but I love reading these, so anyone who wants to should join in!

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Christmas Time at the Nie Palace

Okay… Okay Christmas. 

So I’d like to start by pointing out that like… I don’t celebrate Christmas like in any real way? It’s just a fun excuse to get together with my friends. And we all seem to be on the same page with that. 

So SangSang threw a party. Let me just say, the Nie’s know how to blow it up, okay? Like apparently DaGe did a lot of the planning too? Which surprised me. But they got IN to it.

I… Okay so in my mind DaGe probably just hoisted that giant tree in by himself. Like just WOOMPH like the man is a tank. 

Realistically I know that Lan Xichen helped him and they probably used a trolley or something. But like…. Picturing Nie MingJue just HOISTING  a gigantic christmas tree into the main hall is just… I can’t picture it any other way. It’s just how it happened. Fanon is better than Canon in this instance don’t @ me.

But I know that both he and Nie Huaisang did most of the decorating together. Technically they are rich (not even technically but they don’t ACT like rich bois so I forget) and could have just hired people to do it for them, but I guess this is something that they both love to do together. A shared tradition. And their house (mansion????) is not small. So like it took some TIME. And like… probably lots of ladders? Because even DaGe isn’t that tall. 

I had about .5 seconds to appreciate this, however, before I heard happy screams of children. Which is good because there WERE children. If there are no children and you hear children screaming, leave.  But as there were children, we were good. 

Said children screamed my name and suddenly two tiny bodies were yeeting themselves at me. 

Not to worry, Jin Ling does this A LOT (though he must have taught A-Yuan because that was a first.

A-Yuan jumped very nicely into my arms though. Just a nice little hop and swoop right on my hip. 

Jin Ling, however, is a little monster who NEVER jumps nice. He jumps to the side and expects me to catch him! Now to be fair, I always DO, but I won’t deny that the first time it happened it gave me a fucking heart attack. 

I do believe that Lan Zhan felt my pain this day because when Jin Ling sailed into my arms and immediately leaned outwards so that he’d swing by whatever limb I’d managed to nab, Lan Zhan ruined everything by stabilizing him. (How is his hand like the size of Jin Ling’s entire torso? ((Like with the fingers spread but still???)))) Anyway.

Don’t think I’ve ever seen that quality of death glare out of a 3 year old before. Impressive. 

Lan Zhan backed away immediately and Jin Ling promptly returned his attention back to his best uncle in the whole wide world (me.).

So now I had two young boys in my arms babbling away about this and that at the same time so I couldn’t understand a word of it. 

Is there anything sweeter? 

Eventually I managed to make out that they wanted me to go into the other room where the real party was. A-Ling was talking about how his mama wanted to see me and so she’d sent him for guard duty. (Found out later from Shijie that she had mentioned my name one time in passing saying that she was looking forward to me arriving with Lan Zhan and Jin Ling IMMEDIATELY went off to wait for me. When A-Yuan arrived instead of me he was apparently a bit disappointed until he realized that now he had a friend to wait with him. And so that’s apparently when they plotted the joint throw. A-Yuan said I was supposed to fall over but I was apparently just too strong.)

Anyway. I hoisted them up higher on my hips and we tramped off to the main room…. Is it a living room? Dining room? Ballroom? Fuck if I know they have too many rooms. It was a big room with enough space for entertaining a lot of people. Anyway. We went there. And were greeted by… A LOT of people! Like Apparently Nie Huaisang had decided to invite everyone I know? Or actually I think DaGe suggested some of them?

Okay so… Um… I think this is what Wen Ning said.. DaGe and Wen Qing hit it off at my birthday in a like… platonic way because that sounds like a crackship. Since they are both hella gay. But like they got to talking at my birthday and like she gave him some medical opinions on a part of a case he was working on or something???? And now they’re like… legit in contact with each other? She helps with forensics or something?

I don’t get it. 

But Nie Huaisang was saying they should bring in some of the people they met at my birthday because he liked them and DaGe said he’d already added Wen Qing to the list? 

Nd Nie Huaisang said that they couldn’t just invite ONE Wen 

And so

They invited

All of them???

Including Granny and Uncle Four????? Who they had NOT met before this? I guess???

Which was why A-Yuan was there and because A-Yuan was there A-Ling was there because playdate? Or something? And so Shijie and the peacock were both there because of course he was coming if his wife and son were there (although A-Lian was with her grandparents because she doesn’t do so well at parties most of the time ((My birthday was a fluke???? Or maybe she just likes me. Hard to tell with that babe. Stares like a cat seeing a ghost in the corner of the room. Seems to like Lan Zhan though. Maybe because he stares the same way????????? Am I a ghost?????? In the corner of the roooommmmmm????? Spoopy. ))

Anyway THey were there but then SO WAS JIANG CHENG because apparently, appAReNTlY Madam Yu and Uncle Jiang don’t know that Nie Huaisang is also my friend? Because they’re all rich and rich people all know other rich people and when you’re friends with other rich people it’s okay because you’re ‘making a connection network’ and so Jiang Cheng through a loophole of rich=dumb  apparently? (Like not that the rich people are dumb but the like the whole rich ettiquette is just bonkers) he was allowed to network at this Christmas gathering. Because I think they assumed that rich people only invite other rich people to their parties? When really it ended up being a pretty even 50/50 split. 

So okay the wens were there and Shijie and her +1 and A-Ling, and Jiang Cheng (who I hugged immediately but just listing this out first bare with me.) was there. And Lan Zhan and I were there and Lan Xichen was there of course. Though… isn’t he dating that other Jin guy? I wonder why he WASN’T there? I think there’s some beef between him and DaGe or something and I guess if DaGe didn’t like me I’d avoid him too…. You know to stay alive… But hmm… Lan Xichen didn't seem too upset. So I guess it’s fine? Seemed to have fun with DaGe anyway. 

(Is it wrong to ship? I mean…. They’d be so good together????? Like that’s their business but I feel like a meddling old spinster aunt trying to get people together. Idk. Whatever. Moving on). Oh oh oh And Gamby and her wife were there!! And MianMian and Qin Su! Like it was literally everyone who had been at my birthday + more! (because Uncle Four and Granny Wen. But still. They count! And I was so excited to see them hahah.) So like apparently gatherings are good for networking. Lol. 

So yeah Everyone was there. But the first person I saw was Jiang Cheng. Who I’d thought, honestly and truly, that I’d never get to see again. 

I don’t know which of us started the hug. Maybe it was the same time. But for once he didn’t bitch about it and I wasn’t a little shit about it either. 

Just…. Jiang Cheng really gives great hugs. He told me that he missed me. And said that he was working things out on his end and to be patient please. Promised me and made me promise back that we were still brothers. Forever. 

And that was about all of the feely feels we could handle in public because EVERYONE WAS STARING AT US….

Except Lan Zhan who had disappeared? I didn’t notice until then. But poof. 

…………………

Just asked him where he was for the first bit of the party and he said apparently he’d brought the Emperor’s Smile to the kitchen and ended up getting stuck for a bit helping the cook finish off some stuff because he’s an angel and the nicest person in the world. 

Which… explains why I saw him later holding a tray of hors-d’oeuvres (had to ask Lan Zhan how to spell that…. Maybe shouldn’t have because that’s dangerously close to telling him I had a blog? I think he probably just thinks I’m texting someone about it….. Weeks after it happened…… O.O;;;; uh…. Well he didn’t ask about it so I guess I’m good. Whatever moving ON.).

 So we coughed and let go of each other, but I couldn’t resist grinning at him. Just seeing him there. Knowing that he came here and specifically made it so that I could be here too. That he’s going to such lengths and and.. Actually FIGHTING to keep me in his life. Just…

Okay Stop or you’ll cry, Wei Ying. 

What happened next… ah… we went to the party room saw Jiang Cheng and then we got pulled in to stand with the mingling crowd. 

More hugs all around. Even from Wen Qing after she gave me a quick check up to see how I was healing up. Ever the professional.

I guess… I really scared everyone. Not just from the fire but before that too. They knew that I wasn’t doing well and then more and more shit kept happening. And I think I really scared them.

To be honest, I really scared me too. 

But Lan Zhan saved me. So I guess in the end none of us had anything to fear. <3

We were all chilling and talking and I was just starting to worry that Lan Zhan somehow got lost or kidnapped or eaten by a Nie Monster or something when he appeared holding trays of food. I watched him going to the other room and followed him because I was having Lan Zhan withdrawal. 

And found him setting the food down on a MASSIVE table in the HUMUNGAZOID DINING HALL.

Okay so I’ve been to Nie Huaisang’s place before but generally we just like chilled in the normal living areas. But he has these ‘entertaining’ areas for when they have formal gatherings or parties or whatever. And I’d kinda passed by them before but they were just big empty rooms, right? Like oh okay whatever. It’s like passing by a meeting hall in a hotel. Like oh okay just a big empty room for meetings and shit.

Except when they decorate it it transforms into like this huge palace room! Like fuck! Gold and glitter and lights and sparkle and just everything! And really like tastefully done too. It was a lot, but it was the right kind of a lot. And it was all very coordinated. 

I guess Lan Xichen helped a lot with the balance in the end? How often does Lan Xichen come over here that he’s helping set up decor? 

Who knows. 

Not my business.

Still though isn’t he dating Jin Guangyao or whatever? I wonder how he feels about it?

Whatever. Not my business. 

SO I trotted over to Lan Zhan like a little lost duckling and asked if he needed help with anything. He gave me one of those smiles that he saves just for me (my HEART) and lead me over to the other side of the room and told me to sit at the table.  

I was still all flustered from that smile because MY HEART so I didn’t even think to protest until he was already leaving again! Noo! My Lan Zhan Withdrawal wasn’t done yet! But he was only calling for the others to come join us so we could start dinner. Everyone filed in and Lan Zhan sat next to me before anyone else could. 

I tried not to think too much into it at the time but now…. I wonder…

Anyway.

Dinner was amazing. Like think of your favorite holiday food. Okay you got it? It was there. I guarantee it. Like dear god. 

And DELICIOUS

And and Lan Zhan had brought me some Emperor’s Smile that was nice and chilled and delicious. 

Somehow… 

Okay I know, alright. I KNOW! But like 

The taste of that wine… makes me think of him. Of that kiss. 

He doesn’t taste like wine but something… So clean and clear and refreshing. Mellow but still strong. Just…. 

Stop thinking about his LIPS

Okay moving on.

(How many times do I say moving on? I should make a tally.) 

MOVING ON.

Dinner=amazing.

And right when we were ready to burst from eating and eating and eating…..

Dessert

SO 

ACTIVATE SECOND STOMACH! DEPLOY!

Guys… Guys I ate so much food. I’m pretty sure they had to roll me out of the chair.

Oh… wait… no that actually happened. But mostly for the kids I swear. 

I was whining to Lan Zhan that he was gonna have to roll me to the next room (to which he, of course, responded that he would simply carry me instead. Ugh this man) and Jin Ling called me silly and said I should walk. And A-Yuan, who is apparently much too used to my antics, laughed and agreed in a kinda… idk… DO IT kinda way? So I slid to the floor (I know gross but whatever. The things we do for our children) and rolled away from the table. 

Worked though. Both kids started to shriek with laughter, even though A-Ling was trying his best to sound like Jiang Cheng to tell me to get off the floor because it’s dirty. I rolled about 8 feet before Lan Zhan just deadlifted me into his arms and hauled me into the next room. 

Which made me explode and the children laugh even harder.

This. MAN. How am I expected to survive living with this man when HE KEEPS PULLING THIS SHIT!?!?!?!?!?!

I covered my face to hide how red it was and to avoid looking at everyone’s faces. Because I know they all know. Like they are very obvious about how obvious I must be. Like I’m hopeless. Completely and hopelessly in love with Lan Zhan and they all fucking KNOW it and they ALWAYS GIVE ME THESE LOOKS WHEN I’M WITHIN 10 FEET OF THE MAN AND LIKE I GET IT OKAY I KNOW I’M AN IDIOT BUT APPARENTLY /HE/ DOES NOT KNOW THAT I FEEL THIS WAY AND I DO NOT WANT HIM TO FIND OUT BECAUSE YOU GUYS KEEP GIVING ME THESE FUCKING LOOKS EVERY TIME HE BREATHES IN MY DIRECTION LIKE OKAY I GET IT I KNOW OMG

…………

YES NIE HUAISANG I AM TALKING TO YOU

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Anywaymovingon*lolseewhatididthere?* 

He plopped me very gently on the couch and sat next to me. Immediately the part of my lap that was not taken up by my over-stuffed stomach, was filled by my nephew. Lan Zhan got to deal with a very excited, but very polite A-Yuan asking very kindly if he could sit on his lap. (To which of course Lan Zhan just picked him up and placed him there. A-Yuan looked so delighted.)

I finally chanced a look at the rest of the group who quickly pretended they hadn’t been giggling at us and staring the entire time.

They shuffled around, talking about if we wanted to do games or presents first. 

Presents???? PRESEN-- NO ONE HAD TOLD ME THERE WERE FUCKING PRESENTS. I HADN’T GOTTEN ANYONE ANYTHING!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK

So I start whispering frantically to Lan Zhan asking him if he knew about it and trying very valiantly not to swear since WE HAD LAPS FULL OF CHILDRENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS FOR THEM TO TELL THE REST OF THE FAMILY THAT UNCLE XIAN TAUGHT THEM THE WORD FUCK. ugh.

Lan Zhan apparently knew about it the entire time. 

I couldn’t get into it too much because kids. But uuuuuuuuuugh. 

WELL everyone decided that we’d do presents later so that it was easier to keep track of everything

Of course that means more time for me to freak out. Because what else am I good at but freaking out?

Instead they brought out the games. I finally got a look around at the actual room when the children leaped off of my lap to go play some of the games that were being set up. A-Ling decided it was time to latch himself to his father since his mother was kicking Wen Qing’s ass at pool (well she would have been kicking her ass if she wasn’t 6 months pregnant. As such they were pretty evenly matched.) 

There was a section with toys and board games where DaGe and Lan Xichen started to set things up to see if they could entice the kids to play with them. A-Yuan was won over first which was enough to convince A-Ling to beg his dad to play with them over there.

Not that he had to beg much. Jin ZiXuan would do anything for that boy. Spoils him rotten. But in a loving way. 

So I saw the 5 of them sit down for…. Shoots and ladders? I think? DaGe looked at those kids with pure adoration. Same way he looks at Busu back at the bunny cafe. Guess he has a soft spot for small cute things. 

Can’t blame him. 

Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang were off in a corner by one of the large TV’s playing some game or another. I’m… what was it… Gang Beasts or something? I don’t know. You pick the other guy up and try to yeet him off the stage. I don’t know. Apparently it’s a bit older of a game now but Wen Ning really loves it. (Surprisingly enough for such a meek guy, he is RUTHLESS when it comes to chucking Gumby-lookin fuckers off a plane. Who knew?) Jiang Cheng took a turn but sucked at it so he stomped off to play with the kids instead.

Gamby and Aunty Yi were off that way too watching a movie on another screen with MianMian and Qin Su watching something else on yet another TV. (seriously how many screens???) And Uncle Four was kinda staring between that, the game, and the yule log TV, nursing a bottle of his famous fruit wine. Brews it himself and it will FUCK you up.  

I… okay so… I’m slow. But like I noticed finally that the Yule log-- You know that station that just plays christmas music and is just a fire? Like they… Okay it was mute. So it was just the fire. And they put it in front of the actual fire place. That would normally have been lit. 

They.. it was for me. I could tell. Because Nie Huaisang glanced at me then and the look… You don’t get to see him looking soft too often. But.. Thank you Nie Huaisang. For that. For protecting me. 

They put in a fake fire so that I could feel comfortable. 

I turned to Lan Zhan then to ask him what he wanted to do only to find him… he was just watching me. He was so close… 

I freaked a little and asked him if he wanted to play a game. Any game. Just any game at all. Please just pick a damn game omg a;dlkfja;sdkj he was so close. 

We ended up… somehow playing darts? Sort of. 

He’d never played darts so I ended up having to talk him through it. Then promptly kicked his ass because my aim is perfect and he was lucky to hit the damn board. 

I helped him get better though because he’s really a very good student. And uh… well.. Um… He … 

OKAY THE CLICHE IS REAL AND I HELD HIS HAND AND STOOD BEHIND HIM TO CORRECT HIS FORM OKAY AND IT IS CHEESY AND STUPID AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT OKAY. 

I KNOW. A;LSKDFJ;DJ

But it did actually help. By the end of it he was doing pretty good I’d say!

Eventually he switched out with Lan Xichen so that he could ‘show us how it’s done’  and that turned into quite the competition. Lan Xichen gave me a run for my money that’s for sure. 

Somehow everyone sorta ended up watching. To be fair we were moving pretty fast.

Liek AIM THROW THWP POINTS! 

At one point DaGe started suggesting different trick shots which made it harder. Didn’t last long after that because we decided it was better to not put a bunch of little holes all over the wall because Lan arm strength is apparently genetic and INSANE soooo that ended that. 

After that, since we’d all gathered again anyway, apparently it was time for presents. Which I had actually forgotten about. 

I pulled Lan Zhan aside as everyone else started setting up to ask him about it and why I hadn’t heard about this??? I didn’t HAVE presents for anyone! Like fuck!

He told me that he’d put my name on the presents he’d given anyway. Like there was a ‘draw from a hat’ business secret santa kind of thing? And I was not included. 

I’m… I’m really a bit… I don’t know… 

They… Like I know I’d been through a lot lately and… well I guess I haven’t been in the best state for a couple of months by then… but they could have asked me.. I mean I’m not THAT poor all things considered. I don’t have an apartment and I had to buy a lot of new stuff, yeah but Lan Zhan isn’t charging me rent and actually bought a lot of it for me whether I wanted him to or not. So Like… I could have afforded a present. 

It’s that… that pity feeling that I talked about before. I felt like I was being pitied. And I hate it. 

Lan Zhan told me it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t pity to help take care of someone who is going through shit. It’s caring. 

And I guess… but still…

He touched my cheek then, cupped it with his hand. 

“I do not pity you. I worry. And I care. But that’s not pity,” he said. “We want to take care of you sometimes. Please let us?”

Of course what can I say to that? Nothing. Gah. For a man who doesn’t speak much he sure knows how to talk me into a corner. 

I was still trying to formulate a response when I started to notice there was a lot of… snickering going on. 

I looked around and everyone quickly looked away, pretending they weren’t laughing. But I could see them all hiding grins. I looked at Lan Zhan who looked about as confused as I was and the snickering started again. 

“Well what are you waiting for?”

SangSang…. I should murder you. I should just… Chop you up into tiny pieces and chuck you in a river. 

Either that or throw a damn party for you.

I looked over at him and he was pointing up. So we looked up and…. 

……………………………………………………………..

……………………………………………………………………………………….

Fuck you Nie Huaisang!

THERE WAS MISTLETOE ABOVE US BECAUSE CLEARLY WE WERE IN NEED OF MORE CLICHES IN MY SAPPY LOVE (OR LACK THERE OF????? MAYBE?? MAYBE NOTA.LDKFSJAL;SDKFJ ) LIFE. 

I… Okay my memory is shit, so like… but I don’t remember there being anything there before. Like… I feel like I would have noticed??? I… well…

Well it is what it is.

Lan Zhan. And I. Were stuck under the mistletoe. Together. With EVERYONE watching us and snickering away. Like a damn faulty sprinkler system. CHE CHE CHE CHE CHE. 

All of them. They will all pay. Revenge will come on swift wings when they least expect it!

You know what? Fuck it. I’m  gonna set up DaGe and Lan Xichen purely out of spite. 

But back to the problem at hand. I couldn’t avoid looking back at Lan Zhan forever. He looked about as red as I felt. 

“Mistletoe….” I said intelligently. 

“Mn…” was his very articulate response.

“You… we don’t have to….” I said.  But he cut me off with a kiss. 

A real kiss. Not a cheek kiss. Or a forehead kiss. A real proper kiss. Right on the lips.

Short but oh so sweet. 

He kissed me.

HE. KISSED. ME. 

;akdfj;alskdjl;sadjf;kaja;eioj;OJAD;LKFJA;SLDKFJ;Kjfda;kj;lkj

Okay. So it was just a peck. The kind you would give to a close friend in this situation. (Okay don’t yell at me I know. Like let me explain.)

My point is. I didn’t want to… read more into it than there was to read. Okay? But it… 

Okay this is hard to explain. 

I’m not THAT stupid. I know that you don’t always just kiss your friends. Some people do but not everyone. And Lan Zhan is NOT the type to just kiss a friend. 

But there was the complication with the kiss after the fire and the tension before of the what are we??? Like I’ve known for a while- I think I mentioned it before-- I think we hit a level past… past just friends. And I wanted to believe it was romantic on both sides but I wasn’t sure. And I was scared. And I didn’t want to risk what I have just because I’m greedy. Like what we had.. It is enough even if I WANT more. 

And then he kissed me under that mistletoe..

I’d kinda squashed my hope of more after the kiss. After he agreed it meant nothing. It hurt so bad that the only way I could really process it was to just repress it. (which I’m TRYING not to do but I had a lot going on. And I had to process the rest of it first). So it just kinda turned into… I don’t know… I’d lost that hope. That thought that maybe he could grow to love me. I took that hope and I shoved it behind an iron door and threw the key away into a hedge maze guarded by evil goblins. (Not cute goblins like me. Evil ones. Pointy and mean.) 

But… then he kissed me under that mistletoe… and… I don’t know… did he fight off the goblins and find it in that hedge maze? Or did he just forge a new key altogether? 

But he unlocked that door. And opened it even if just a crack. And he let out a sliver of hope again. A tiny sliver of real hope that rests in my heart even now. Growing. 

We stared at each other until we were interrupted by everyone’s whooping and cheers. “Alright alright yeah yeah.” I chided and ushered them away. 

At least A-Yuan and A-Ling were busy making grossed out faces instead of cheering. Good boys. 

“What’s wrong? You don’t like kisses?” I asked them. And then I launched myself at them making the most obnoxious kissy face I could manage. Chased them around the room while everyone else settled in for presents. Caught them after a few moments and covered them in kisses. A-Yuan laughed and A-Ling pretended he was trying to get away, but I know he liked it. 

Hah.

I kissed them all the way back to the couch where I sat next to Lan Zhan (who I couldn’t look at anymore). I plopped A-Yuan in his lap and just held on to A-Ling who was scrubbing his face clean of my kisses. Quite dramatically I might add. Offensive. (he got like 5 more kisses because of it.

I told him that if he kept scrubbing off my kisses I’d just have to keep replacing them. “Just ask Uncle Cheng.”

“It’s true, buddy.”

“See? It’s true!��)

“Alright! Is everyone ready?” Shijie asked once A-Ling finally submitted to his punishment kisses.  The two kids sat up so fast they almost clocked both me and Lan Zhan clean on the chin. But fortunately we are both ninjas and managed to avoid braining the children. 

“Presents! Presents! Presents!” they chanted. (Well A-Ling chanted and then nudged A-Yuan until he joined in). 

It started off harmless enough. They started bringing stuff over to me and Lan Zhan which makes sense. Let the kids go first, right? And they’d clearly need more than everyone else. 

Except… They weren’t all for the kids. And they kept bringing them over. Until there was a pile of every single present gathered beside me and at my feet. 

The kids each got a couple but the rest of them. They were small but they were all clearly labeled. 

“Wei Ying. Wei Ying. Wei Ying.”

Every one of them. 

I looked over at Lan Zhan to decide if I needed to yell at him some more but he looked just as flabbergasted as I did. So clearly he wasn’t in on it. 

Everyone else…. Lan Zhan was right. It wasn’t pity in their eyes. The way they were looking at me. It was love. 

I let the kids open their gifts first so I had a moment to collect myself. They tore the paper like wild animals and squealed in delight at each new toy. 

A-Yuan’s favorite was the little toy butterfly that Lan Zhan got him (with my name on the gift to give me credit I didn’t deserve). He hugged us both, and then went off to play with A-Ling with the blasters they both got.  

I did relish the look of pain on Jin ZiXuan’s face as he realized he was going to listen to those blasting noises and beeps and whistles for the next 2 months until A-Ling finally got bored. Very satisfying. 

But the… Well I couldn’t avoid it anymore. I had to open my own gifts. 

“Start with this one, please,” Gamby said, holding out the largest of the pile. 

I… when I opened it…

Would you blame me if I cried?

The.. the photo album that I’d gotten for my birthday. It burned in the fire. And… I didn’t… I didn’t want to admit it but it crushed me. Of all the possessions I lost… that one… 

But they replaced it! They got me a new book. All the photos were there. Not the originals, but they’d made copies of every photo they’d taken because they still wanted their own copies of them too. (Apparently the originals had all gone into my book which is still a shame. But the image is more important than the paper.)

Every single gift was related to that book. Gamby and Aunty Yi gave me the new book. All the photos from the original were there. But then every single gift from the others were new pages with new photos. Ones that hadn’t been included before and then lots from my birthday. Pictures of everyone and of me and just… The last page was a large copy of the picture we’d all taken at the photo booth. It filled the whole page. 

And then letters. From everyone. Letters of love. Stories and memories. To me. Even Jin ZiXuan wrote a letter. Admittedly short but still there. (He mentioned in the letter that he wasn’t sure he needed to write me one of his own since technically he’s the one who did the writing for A-Ling’s letter but figured it would annoy me so fuck it.)

That dick. Do I have to like him now? Uuugh I don’t want to like him. :(

I had to give the book to Lan Zhan so that I wouldn’t cry on it. 

Shijie came and hugged me, letting me cry without judgement like she always does. And then I felt Lan Zhan’s arms join hers. And then I was drowning in arms. 

I’m…. I’m not used to being the focus like this. Not in this way. It’s different when I’m the one drawing attention to myself. But when it’s just… everyone. Everyone I love just freely giving me their love back just… 

I don’t really know how to handle it. 

But… at the same time… 

I’ve never felt so loved. So wanted. And Lan Zhan really is right. It’s not pity. It really really isn’t. And I don’t think I’ve ever… Ever really let myself experience it that way. 

Eventually I told them through my stuffed nose that that was enough and that I still needed to breathe please. They all laughed and let me go finally. I didn’t really want them too, but I do also like my friend oxygen. 

They all gave me one last squeeze or pat and went off to do their own thing again. Playing games and watching things. 

Letting me gather myself back together again. 

I looked over at Lan Zhan and told him I’d be back in a minute. I got up to just… I don’t know… take a walk. It was… it wasn’t too much but nearly. But not in an unwelcome way. It was pushing my boundaries, but they were boundaries that needed to be pushed. 

I know I deserve love. It’s hard to remember it a lot of the time though and sometimes you have to force feed it to me. And… And it’s good.  Great even. 

But a bit overwhelming. 

I walked through the house idly for a bit. Probably going where guests weren’t supposed to go but whatever. 

I must have been gone longer than I thought though because eventually Lan Zhan came to find me. To check on me and make sure I was okay. 

“Was it too much?” he asked. I shook my head and said yes at the same time which made him laugh a little. 

I shuffled over to him and put my forehead against his chest with a soft sigh. 

“It’s not too much,” I said as he obligingly slid his arms around me. “It’s just…. Too much… you know?”

He hummed in understanding and miraculously I think he did understand. Because let’s be real, that was nonsense. 

Then he pulled away and took my hand (very gently because they were still raw). 

“Follow me,” he said in that rich honey voice of his. (Yes Lan Zhan. I will follow you. I will follow you anywhere. Into the very gates of hell.) 

Can you blame me if I laced our hands together? He let me anyway. And didn’t pull away so nyah. 

I had no idea where he was taking me but.. Well I’ve said it before that I trust him implicitly. With everything. With my very soul. 

Turns out. Nie Huaisang. Has an in home movie theater. Like. A legit movie theater. With those comfy squishy seats and the giant projector and like….

HUAISANG HOW HAVE YOU NEVER TAKEN ME INTO THIS ROOM? APPARENTLY YOU’VE TAKEN LAN ZHAN BECAUSE HE KNEW WHERE EVERYTHING WAS AND SET UP THE PROJECTOR AND POPPED IN A MOVIE AND LIKE FUCK YOU HUAISANG I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS. ;3;

Lan Zhan had me sit down while he set everything up, then pulled up the arm rest between us and sat down before just… pulling me to lean against him. 

I mean I wasn’t gonna complain. *v*

So we watched a movie together. Honestly… Honestly I couldn’t even tell you what movie it was. His arm was around me, tracing patterns into my shoulder. And he let me hold his hand again. I remember running my thumb up and down the back of his. And the smell of him. And the sound of his heart beat and the feeling of his breath slowly shifting me up and down. 

About half way through the movie he shifted though, making me sit up. I looked at him to pout, but stopped because he was very decidedly NOT looking at me. 

“I have… something for you…” he said softly. Before I could tell him he, of all people, didn't need to get me anything, especially after all he’s already given me, he pulled a small box out of his pocket. 

“I didn’t want to give it to you… in front of everyone.”  -after the mistletoe incident- was left unsaid. 

I took the box. Trying to let myself accept things. Let myself be loved. 

It was just a small blue box with a white cloud-patterned ribbon (that I still have shh. It was cute). I pulled the ribbon and opened the lid of the little blue box to find…

Okay it was small and simple but this.. Perfect earring. It’s just a red stone dangling on a black chain. Small. Simple. Perfect. 

I stared at it long enough that I probably made him nervous. Trying to get myself to just say thank you. To just accept it. 

Eventually I managed. “... help me put it in?”

My hands were still a bit stiff and fumbly (which sucked because I haven’t been able to paint much lately because of it). But even so it was an excuse for him to touch me more. To feel his hands brushing my neck and jaw. For him to be closer to me. 

He obliged me and put it in. I.. Maybe it was just because it was dark, but that sliver of rekindled hope in me really wants to believe that he took his time with it. That he wanted that excuse to touch me too. 

Hope is dangerous but…. I can’t help it. I’m hoping. 

“Merry Christmas, Wei Ying,” he said softly when he finally pulled away. 

I looked over at him and smiled. He smiled back. 

“Merry Christmas, Lan Zhan.”

Something… in that moment. I was going to kiss him. There just was no other option. The moment. The hope. The memory. The feel of his skin. It all culminated into one truth. 

I was going to kiss him. 

Except.

I WAS COCKBLOCKED BY ADORABLE TODDLERS WHO I CAN’T EVEN BE MAD AT BECAUSE THEY’RE ADORABLE. 

Apparently when we didn’t come back the kids decided that we got lost. And they snuck out to find us. They were so excited to rescue us that it took them a minute to realize we were in a giant movie room. After that they were about as excited as I was. (What does that say about me? Am I just a giant child?.... Hey wait a minute the only ones who got any gifts were me and the kids. I AM A GIANT CHILD. Fuck . T_T)

Once they got over their initial hyper excitement about the theater, we coaxed them into watching the movie with us. Lan Zhan clicked some magic remote or something and it changed to a more kid-friendly movie. (I don’t understand technology. I never will.)

I texted Shijie that the kids were safe with us in the movie room so she wouldn’t worry and let A-Ling settle onto my lap. 

Gotta say. I don’t bet to be his favorite very often. It’s really nice when he’s in an Uncle Xian mood. <3

A-Yuan took his place back on Lan Zhan’s lap. He was much more confident now, just glancing at Lan Zhan to make sure it was okay before he sat on him. 

And… Okay I can’t even be mad that they ruined my attempt to kiss Lan Zan because this image. This painfully beautiful domestic scene…. 

I’ve never wanted kids so badly in my life. Kids. With Lan Zhan. Just… I wanted this. So badly. 

I still do. So much I’m almost shaking with it right now. 

I want… I want to be a father. With Lan Zhan. I want that for the rest of my life. 

And… I knew I loved him. I knew I want to be with him. But this hit differently. This… this was an absolute forever. This was.. This was more than wanting to date Lan Zhan or live with him or… you know… stuff. This was… I want his life to be entangled with mine. To the point that the life is ours. Not his and mine. Ours. 

I want that so badly. 

Maybe that’s selfish. But it’s what I want. 

Time slipped by while I had this little life-changing revelation and before I knew it I was covered in drool.  Jin Ling had fallen asleep. And A-Yuan wasn’t far behind him on Lan Zhan’s lap. I caught Lan Zhan’s eye and we smiled.

I wonder… if he was thinking the same things I was. Is that something he’d want? With me? 

Maybe, that little flame of hope dares to admit. Maybe. 

It could be possible.

After a while Shijie and Wen Ning popped their heads into the room to collect the children. Jin Ling transferred over to his mother like a sack of potatoes but A-Yuan was just not having it. 

“Nooooo” he whined, still half asleep and clinging desperately to Lan Zhan. “I wanna stay with Bunny-Gege and Xian-gege. D:”

He made that face too. D: Like you could feel it in your soul that D:. 

And we were powerless. 

“Would you like to spend the night with us if Granny says it’s okay?” Lan Zhan asked.  Oh that sleepy little nod was enough to melt even Madam Yu’s heart I’d bet. 

Wen Ning laughed softly and told us he’d check with her to see if she minded. After a few minutes I got a text saying “he’s all yours.”

And that’s how we temporarily adopted Wen Yuan. 

DaGe offered to drive us home since we’d walked here and it was a bit too cold for a sleeping 7 year old. We thanked him and let him drive us in the tank he has the nerve to call a truck. How many miles to the gallon must that thing get? 2? Ah well. Put A-Yuan promptly back to sleep anyway so I guess whatever works. We thanked him and wished him a Merry Christmas/Happy New Year and all that jazz and went inside together. We didn’t have anything to really put A-Yuan in so I donated one of my new t-shirts for him to wear as… a nightgown I guess? Whatever it was more comfortable and he didn’t complain. 

And then I stole one of Lan Zhan’s shirts to wear so we’d match. Hah. 

We all ended up sharing a bed together after Lan Zhan fished out a spare toothbrush for him to brush his teeth with. 

A-Yuan in the middle and Lan Zhan’s long arms around the both of us. 

I don't think I’ve ever slept better.

[suckitsurveys]

1. Can you remember what you were doing at 8:15 this morning? Yeah, working.  2. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? Rachel. I saw her about a year ago. 

3. If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? Entirely depends on the situation. 

4. What did you have for lunch today? Or, if you haven’t had lunch yet, what do you think you will have? I haven’t had lunch yet. I’m on my lunch break right now but I’m not super hungry. I might make these fried mushrooms I bought at the store yesterday.

5. Is there someone you desperately want to see/speak to atm, but you can’t? I’d LOVE to see Ellen this year. She was supposed to visit in 2020 but, yeah, the world went to shit. We’re now aiming for summer 2022 after she graduates. 

6. Do you and your significant other have a special song? What is it? We have a few.

7. If you HAD to sing something on karaoke, what song would you choose? Tiny Dancer is a good one. Or something 80s. 

8. Can you remember the last time you felt ill? What was wrong with you? Thursday I was super nauseous.  9. What time is it now? Are you tired? 11:50AM. Weird, it’s been exactly 2 hours since a survey last asked this question lol. I am always tied. 

10. If you wear make-up, do you take it with you, to reapply throughout the day? Does your make-up stay for a long time after you first apply it, or do you find that you need to reapply often? Are you wearing any make-up atm? That’s a lot of questions. I rarely wear makeup.

11. What if you found the last person you kissed, in bed with the last person you texted? Same person.

12. The last person you held hands with - have you ever kissed them? Yes.

13. Can you remember what your parents bought you for Christmas last year? Yeah.

14. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? The person I fell hardest for is my husband. We had an immediate connection and I felt comfortable and like I could 100% be myself around him. He’s sweet, caring, compassionate. And hilarious as fuck. We get along SO well and I just love being around him.

30. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? The fuck happened to 15-29?

31. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? Lol. My last relationship was bullshit. It ended in April 2011 and I got with my now husband in July 2011. I was already thinking about being with him that whole BS relationship, tbh. Me and that guy got together because we were both bored. I’m so happy that phase of my life is over. It was gross and shitty. 

32. Has any of your friends ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend that you found attractive, and you would secretly have liked to have for yourself? Eh.

33. How many guys do you know named Matthew? A couple. 

34. Think about the last person that made you cry. Would that person be there for you if you needed help? No one person has made me cry in a while. I’ve been crying more over situations.

35. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? My husband. We were talking about the storm and if it had fully passed. 

36. Has someone of the opposite sex made you cry at any point during the last 24 hours? No.

37. Is there anything you would like to say to your most recent ex? Nah, but I hope he knows he’s irrelevant af. 

38. If your friends are sexually active but you aren’t, does that bother you? Have you ever felt pressured to have sex before you were ready, because your friends had done it? I’ve never felt pressure from friends to do it before I was ready. 

39. In your opinion, what is the difference between having a crush and being in love? Have your own experiences helped you to realise that there is a difference? There’s definitely a difference. A crush is like an infatuation. In love is a deeper, actual connection. 

40. Did the last person you hugged have any of these letters in their name: T, R, K, P, J? Yeah.

41. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten in the last 24 hours? Ice cream.

42. What was the last compliment you received from someone of the opposite sex? Something related to sex the other night, giggle giggle.

43. Who did you last say ‘I love you’ to? What colour are that person’s eyes? My husband. His eyes are brown.

44. If you took away the first and third letters of your name, what would you then be called? Anah.

45. Name 7 things that make you happy, and explain how it might affect you if you had to give them up. I’ll name 7 things but I’m not gunna do the second part. My husband, my kitties, my nieces, my friends, sushi, bubble tea, the beach.

46. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? I don’t know. I’m sure there are a lot of assumptions that are made of a fat girl with blue hair. Some may be correct. 

47. You buy a bar of chocolate, but you decide that you don’t want to eat it now, and put it in the fridge. When you go back later, half of it’s gone - someone else has started eating it! Who are you most likely to blame? A ghost, because Mark wouldn’t eat it. 

48. Choose 5 friends, and talk briefly about each person’s longest/most serious relationship. Who was the relationship with, and how long did it last? Wtf, no?

49. Do you think it’s wrong for someone to commit themselves to a long-term relationship at a young age? Explain. No? If they’re happy, what’s the issue?

50. Is there something happening in the near future, that you’re looking forward to? Yes. I have Wednesday off and we’re going to the pool. And in July Mark and I are going to a little lake house. Then in August I’m going to Boston!

[purplesurveys]

1147

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Hmm, I can’t remember ever doing that.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? My new manager, Kata, messaged me a bunch of links to EXO’s videos to get me into them – I looooove that she’s friendly and we vibe super well so I have a feeling will be close soon enough, but I’m still a bit shy so I ignored her for a bit while I was thinking of a reply haha. I’ve since gotten back to her, though.

What's your favorite pizza place? Yellow Cab’s pizzas have never failed me. Mama Lou’s is good too, but they don’t deliver to my area so I haven’t had their pizzas and any of their food in over a year now.

What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? That we can stay friends. I believed it for a while and it was so mentally and emotionally deteriorating for me, so I did the right thing and let go instead.

What's at the top of your to do list in life? Save. I’m superrrrr frugal with my money and hate spoiling myself. I’d rather enjoy everything in the future once I feel like it’s right to settle down.

What's a song that would describe your life at the moment? What Type of X by Jessi. Maybe not my life, but the song certainly matches my mood these days.

Do you ever scream at inanimate objects? Occasionally, if they’re not working or if I accidentally hurt myself with them.

What was the last thing that you shared? I just had lunch delivered to Angela’s place as a surprise, if that counts. I got her chicken wings and these chocolate chip cookies she’s always wanted to try. It feels really nice surprising people with gifts; I might start making it a habit :) I have to credit my director Bea for it - she’s been having food delivered to mine and Kata’s places recently and I just want to pay it forward.

What smell/s can you absolutely not stand? Fruits. We constantly have a stock of oranges because my parents and sister like having them after dinner, and the smell is nauseating. Spoiled food is also high up on my list, and the general smell in Manila is also very foul. Go to other places in the Philippines if you’ll ever visit!!!

Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yessssssssssssssss. Idk why but I find it really good? like even if I eat it straight out of the fridge.

Where are you the most ticklish? The sides of my stomach and around my neck.

Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Someone absolutely important to me, yes.

When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I usually don’t really like the snacks we have in our pantry so unless I already had food delivered earlier in the evening I just let the hunger fade because I don’t like having food delivered that late anyway.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Buster from Toy Story. Or Maximus from Tangled but in dog form, because I don’t know how to care for a horse.

What color best represents you? Something peaceful like off-white, or a pastel shade.

Do you like marshmallows? I hate them.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I also don’t like candy canes, or candy in general. Too sweet and I can always feel how unhealthy they are whenever I have to have them.

Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff? My mom has several plastic bags filled with photographs over the last few decades. As for me, I don’t own any memory boxes; but recently, I’ve been sticking up notes from my friends and co-workers up on my corkboard.

Are you in any way double jointed? Nope.

Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? Never. I never liked singing in public and I’ve never considered acting.

When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? A few days ago when I accidentally turned my camera on during a work Zoom meeting while I looked completely unpresentable. Luckily I knew I clicked the button and immediately un-clicked it, but my video still showed up for like 0.001 seconds lol.

Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? I don’t think I’ve gone so far as to hate it. I have felt slightly disturbed upon hearing the lyrics of some songs I’ve taken a liking to though; and Cherry Wine by Hozier certainly ticks off this box.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? Hot, which is why living where I do doesn’t work with me well for the most part.

What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? Get nicer gifts for my loved ones. I was able to get everyone presents last Christmas, but given that I had just received my first-ever salary then, I wasn’t able to go all out as much as I would’ve liked. I’d love to spoil my loved ones even more for next Christmas.

If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Probably, as long as I was guaranteed to live comfortably. I’d love to see how else technology can continue to improve.

Have you made someone happy today? I hope so, when I got Angela food earlier.

Do you generally watch a lot of television? I do watch my favorite shows a lot, but not on television. Most of my content I already consume online.

If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? They’d probably go over all the shit I had to go through and the ensuing breakdowns they’ve had to watch from me over the years.

What's your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, because it makes me feel festive.

Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Only for a brief moment when I was introduced to the concept, but kid-me never bought it because he never showed up.

Do you like the band Relient K? I’ve heard of the band name but I’m largely unfamiliar with them.

Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe, but for the most part I usually find the books to be better.

Do you like quesadillas? Yes, omg and with jalapeños and cheese *chef’s kiss*

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Nope.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day? I feel like I’ll be sullen because it will be Sunday again, but I still plan on making the most out of it.

Do you ever talk to yourself? A lot.

Whose butt did you last slap? Idk, probably my ex.

Do you think that chivalry is dead? I don’t think so, but I also think it’s a bit outdated.

What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? That’s a lot of pressure on a song... as much as I don’t really like The Beatles, I’d say Hey Jude has been pretty influential.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a grocery store? Not sure. If I had thought something I’ve seen was the weirdest thing ever, I would’ve taken a photo.

What is true love to you? Sacrifices.

Do you like chocolate milk? YES, lactose intolerance be damned.

Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? Not yet. I hope to be able to this year!

Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? Nope, but I’d definitely get on one if I find one here.

Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? Slowly. Actually, I prefer running water over it until it just slides off.

Have you made a mistake in the past week? I am constantly making tiny mistakes at work.

What was the last weird thing you said to someone? Idk, I feel like all the conversations I’ve had recently didn’t involve any inside jokes or general weirdness.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I got to work with one - Redd is the drummer for a local band but he’s since resigned to work with another company.

Have you ever sat on a copy machine and made copies of your butt? No. I’ve never even used a copy machine.

Are you a camera whore? Not at all, I hate posing for the camera.

Have you ever purposely dropped someone's toothbrush in a toilet? Never even considered it.

What kind of mood are you in right now? A little sad because it’s the weekend and I can’t even do my weekend coffee shop trips anymore because Covid cases are experiencing another surge (9000 cases a day!!!), protocols are everywhere again, and my parents already told me I can’t go out...those moments were my rare time alone where I can take walks and reflect and whatnot (and not to mention experieince air conditioning for a few hours), so it sucks to have to be stuck at home again. There’s not much to do at home to begin with, so now I’m just stuck in a cycle of taking surveys and finding videos to watch on YouTube.

What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? I was ranting to Andi about how I started despising Diane from BoJack Horseman the moment she flipped out over Mr. Peanutbutter gifting her an entire library. I get where she’s coming from, of course, “understand people’s love language” and all that; but I felt like the very hostile reaction was super uncalled for and it reminded me a lot of my relationship with Gabie – I liked giving and giving, but it was either 1) never enough or 2) apparently the wrong way to show her love, and I was always the one punished for it in the end. I told Andi that because of my experience with her, I don’t even feel like giving a library (metaphorically speaking) to any future significant others anymore because of how hard I had it with her. 

Anyway, they gave me some advice about it and in the end they told me, “One day, someone will tell you, “Thank you for your library.’” It was very beautifully put and I struggled to find the words to reply.

What's something that always makes you smile, regardless of what’s going on? I’m not sure there is such a no-fail thing.

What was that last thing that you bought online? Food for Angela.

Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? Yeah, but the general mood for last year obviously wasn’t super festive and there weren’t as much lights, so it’s been a while since I’ve seen my village all decked out.

Is there someone that you're mean to for no good reason? No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? The coffee ice cream that I bought from Leigh yesterday! It’s crazy fucking good and I already feel a repeat order coming through.

Are you currently reading anything? No.

What's a good book you'd recommend? I don’t read anymore. I know child/teen-me would be very disappointed.

[searching-in-silence]

MASTER LIST

[JIKOOK CONTENT] PART 1 - GENERAL INDEXING 

PART 2 CONTAINS MONTH WISE JIKOOK MOMENTS CATEGORIZATION

PERSONAL - My thoughts on jikook pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13, pt14, pt15, pt16, i tried joking pt2 pt3 pt4,

AESTHETICS - pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7, pt8, pt9, pt10, pt11, pt12, pt13, pt14, pt15,

WHAT OTHERS TALK ABOUT JIKOOK - a woman who visited bts, taehyung on jikook, Taehyung on jikook pt2, people really don’t know jikook, newspaper article of jk’s tweet on jm’s bd, bts on jikook, people’s review on gcft, a jikook blogger rant, j-army, a twitter account, a blogger analysis about jm message on jk’s bd 2019, JK’s brother, teen vogue, 2018MMA pt2, jk’s confession to jm about his rl bro, a tumblr post, yt analysis, jimin interaction with member vs with jungkook yt analysis, jikook might marry early,

COUPLE MADE OBVIOUS - jeonlous pt2, their song, jimin with jk vs jimin with jhope, jm is different when with jk, jm stares at jk with great intensity, they laugh the same, spot the couple pt1, spot the couple pt2, jk on jimin’s butt, jk+mic+jm’s mouth, hand size, flirting in concerts, jimin named their duet, jk likes serendipity, they kings of achievement, their tweets read similar, jk holds jm’s leg while singing, jikook flirt after lights go out, jikook nd tattoo mystery, jk mimicking jm, jikook hickeys??,  jikook rose bowl op bite, jimin poses for jk anytime, they share glasses, they share glasses pt2, peek a look at eo random, jimin can’t handle jk’s cuteness, jk is jimin’s sunbaenim~, jikook and fireworks, jhope knows, they are intimate, jm’s stare is intense, the way they are soft for eo, my thoughts on jikook after jk’s bd wish to jm, jk always wanna kiss jm, jikook and paris facts?, jimin laughs every time he sees jk, jk imitates jm, jm is comfortable with keeping his hand on jk’s waist, always focuses his cam on jimin, jm always captures jk through his phone, jk is a jimin stan, they share clothes, jk staring at jm, jm is jk’s baby, jm trying to kiss jk, jk believes jm is shameless, jk staring at jm instances pic, when jimin’s soft gaze appreciates jungkook, staff+members defer to jimin in regards to jk, jikook are obvious, jk tattoo ‘J’ was added later, when jm ignores jk, jikook almost kissing,the effect of magnetism apply on jikook, jk finds jm cute when he is mad,

1. Year 2012 - 2018

if jm was the leader for the day, jungkook staring 11sec straight, kookoo san~a compilation, 2013 jikook tweets, 2014 jikook tweets, jikook old pics pt2, fanmeeting 2013?, jm phone case, jikook 2015 red bullet presscon pics, 2015 showchampion pics, jm waited very long for jk, 2016 pics, jk sweat is holy water 2017, ‘jk gotta spank jimin’ ~V, jm about jikook in army kit, jikook bv3 thoughts, jikook rings, 2017 saitama, ly seoul, vlive fanmeet jikook pics, 2018 mma, jikook during run eps XD, jk scolds jm, jm complimented jk shoulders i think, jm could get jealous u know, jm is smitten with jk, u r me i am u, if they were a girl..., jm finds jk manly, 2016 jikook in Bangkok, jikook are touchy feely 2018, jikook in BV3+sunscreen, this moment was confusing, jk likes to capture a goofy jimin, jk gets lost after seeing jm sexy dancing, jikook staring at each other pics, jimin gets shy and hits jk, when jm lost his ticket jk comforted him till he found it again, jm looking for jk’s bag in his room when jk didn’t even room with him, jikook get closer the more time passes during the fanmeet ~ like their seats get closer, jikook and doll story, jungkook staring at jm just after he woke up when they were recording on plane, nightmare themed park, jimin cutely holding jk’s hand, jikook during concerts, jk must check who his jimini hyung is talking to, jikook and cooking, jimin wanting praise from jungkook, jimin supports jungkook, jk scolding jm when he interrupts him, jimin added a mole to jk’s portrait in bv3, jimin snuggling into jk’s neck, jk staring at jm again during photoshoot, jk is jealous, jm dancing for jk, he captures jk on Polaroid, jikook jp muster, jungkook kissing jm’s ear at 2018 MMA?, jk thinks jm is the most fun hyung to joke around with, jimin hyung is awesome, 

2. Year 2019

u r me, i m u, part 2, jk tattoo of jm, jm behaves diff with others,  jikook sharing ring 2019 dec., jimin’s manager XD, jk visual according to jm, visual december., jungkook hyung,  voting on who understands jk the most lol., jm can’t reach the bar, eye contact,  jikook hug a lot, jikook+cheeks+awardshows, jikook on weibo, jm watches jk play videogames, jikook intimate at concert,  jikook ttu pics, they quote, jk always wants to capture jm, a compilation of jikook clips,  just jikook, jk harmonizing with jk, jk informs jm about everything even if silly, jk cares for jm as if older, even if on separate teams they help eo, who was it on jm’s vlive other than him, jk is always staring at jm even in run ep, jimin vlive analysis pt2, jk is jm’s style, jm is a liar when it comes to jk, when jm looked tiny this one time in comparison to jk, nightmare before Christmas, jimin+pockets+jungkook’s ass+stare, jimin in 5th muster VCR ~ his acting was superb, jungkook’s hair growth+ him staring at jm, jk asking manager to take care of jm, the way jk simply stares, jimin sang euphoria chorus?, jk can be shameless even in a crowded stadium, jikook don’t know the meaning of space even at airport, they use similar techniques, jm posing for jk during concert with a kissy face,

BTS WORLD - jikook card, jk’s diary, looks like wedding video, jm steals jk’s pics and jk is curious, stop copying me! ~jm’s diary, pics, video, pinching jimin’s cheeks,

BT21 - chimmy and kookie depictions, they are jikookers

[hot-tea-gardenparty]

Christmas Qs

Since I never gets asks (cause, let’s be honest here, I don’t have thousands of followers and I am sure you all do not care lol) but I wanted to do this because of reasons.

1.       Do you go to church on Christmas?  The only times I ever did go to a church for CHristmas was when I visited my grandmother’s house as a child. I have always been not-so-fond of religion and now consider myself agnostic so...going to church always felt like a waste of time.  For me, CHristmas was never about the religious aspect, it was about family, food and fun.

2.       Favorite Christmas food?  My mom’s home-made cinnamon rolls. They were fluffy, sweet and oh-so satisfying to bite into when warm and gooey on Christmas morning. It was a sweet build up to present opening and a calm, relaxing Christmas day. (My mother only ever made her cinnamon rolls on Christmas...so they were special!)

3.       Favorite Christmas song?  I have never been a big fan of Christmas music, but if I must list out a Christmas song, it would have to be “Magic Castle”, a Korean Christmas song, especially the version recorded by TVXQ!

4.       What gift do you want to have? This year?....Uhm....to finally get back to a somewhat ‘normal’ life. I can’t wait to be able to hug my parents again.

5.       What were your favorite gift? When I was a kid, I succinctly remember being very excited and elated to receive a pogo stick one year. I was so eager to use the pogo stick that I went out and shoveled a small patch of snow off the sidewalk, put down de-icer and waited a few hours...then ran out and pogo-ed until my lips turned blue. Was it my smartest choice?....probably not. My mom surprisingly let me do this but I do recall her telling me something along the lines of, “If this is how you learn about ice safety, fine, but if you crack your head open, don’t say I didn’t tell you this idea is bonkers.”

6.       What is your favorite thing about Christmas? Spending time with family...which makes this whole pandemic situation and not being able to be with my family all the more heart-wrenching.

7.       Favorite Christmas movie? I hate Christmas movies....but, because I am a millennial, I do like watching marathons of Harry Potter on Christmas....does that count?

8.       Real or fake tree? I love real trees. They smell good and bring extra ‘life’ into the house. For years my family only ever bought real trees grown on a local tree farm. Unfortunately, my husband and his parents are all allergic to pine and it’s just easier to pull a fake one out of a box each year instead of lugging a real one home on the roof of our tiny cars.

9.       When did you stop believing in Santa? I think I was 10 or 11...I realized Santa’s handwriting was the exact same as my Dad’s and I just knew.

10.     When is the earliest you’ll start listening to Christmas music? In December. That’s it. I would never listen to Christmas music prior to December because I worked retail and I swear, Christmas music would be switched to immediately following Halloween and I hated it. You try listening to ‘Jingle Bells’ every single day for two months....it really makes you want to rage.

11.     Favorite activity to do in winter? Take long walks in the snow. It’s always so quiet and peaceful.

12.     Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? It depends on the situation. In my family it was always Christmas day morning, but now that we have to split most Christmases between my husband’s family and mine...it just depends on the schedule.

13.     When do you decorate for Christmas? The day after Thanksgiving...it’s just convenient to do it that way. I have the day off of work and usually have the time to.

14.     What do you typically get in your stocking? I don’t really get anything in my stocking now, but when I was a kid it was always a chocolate orange and some little toys or trinkets.

15.     Does it snow where you live? Yes, I live in the North so...all the time.

16.     Do you prefer a snowy Christmas? Not particularly.

17.     Do you like Christmas shopping? Yes and no. I love being able to find a gift that I think the person who is receiving the gift will absolutely love....but I hate waiting in long lines at the register, sifting through the throngs of people and then spending all the money.

19.     Green Christmas tree, white, or other? GREEN. I think colored trees are cute sometimes, but usually they are just gaudy.

20.     Do you still get excited the night before Christmas? Not really...once you are an adult the magic sort of disappears.

21.     Christmas Day dinner, or Christmas Eve dinner? My family always had Christmas Day brunch LOL

22.      Have you ever written letters to Santa? When I was very young, yes, I did.