#this is a happy vibes only au this is soft feelings time

[blue-mood-blue]

Saw just enough of The Sound of Music tonight that I was reminded of Captain von Trapp mentioning that the most important thing in his house is discipline (or some such sentiment), and

because I have the brain rot

While I cannot conceivably find a way to make that specifically into an au, I was nonetheless charmed by the thought of disciplinarian and rule-abiding Lan Wangji vs sunny and energetic Wei Wuxian cheering up the juniors with a little music tell me you are not turned to mush by Wei Wuxian teaching juniors the equivalent of “my favorite things” I dare you

Anyway

All of this to say, a no-sunshot-campaign au where, for whatever reason, Wei Wuxian is invited as a guest lecturer at Cloud Recesses. There are several thousand rules that Wei Wuxian is ignoring at any given moment. Lan Wangji, who is in charge of discipline, is annoyed (intrigued). Tiny juniors are following their new teacher’s heels all around while he’s playing the dizi like a more adorable version of the pied piper (and perhaps Wei Wuxian warns them with a wink that he is Very Evil and he is going to Steal Them Away which is met with un-Lan-like giggling). The Elders have discussed sending him back to Lotus Pier but, unfortunately, he is a fantastic teacher.

There are also, of course, shenanigans. Night hunt field trips. Wei Wuxian inflicting his cooking upon the poor, innocent youths. Bad dreams on both sides leading to some broken curfews and soft music in the garden. Some conflicting curriculums - not “demonic cultivation” level, but there are a lot more disciples asking a lot more questions in their other lectures.

Lan Qiren is incensed.

Lan Xichen refuses to do anything about it (he is watching his brother watching Wei Wuxian and waiting).

Lan Wangji should be doing his job of disciplining but, you see, whenever he tries Wei Wuxian smiles at him or hands him a bunny or chatters about how well the Lanlings are doing or about an idea he has for a lesson, and what is he to do? Stop that from happening?? Remove the smile from this man’s face??? That would be a crime.

(Lan Qiren gets the abridged version of this sentiment, which amounts to “Wei Wuxian is good” and he despairs. He is fighting a losing battle to send the guest teacher home.)

(The losing battle becomes a lost battle when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian play a duet for the juniors together and share a kiss as soon as the juniors are out of sight and off to their next lesson. Lan Xichen catches his brother pacing while on patrol that night, his face as forlorn as it ever is, and says “You know, we could… offer him a permanent place here?”)

Lan Wangji writes to Lotus Pier that Cloud Recesses will not be returning their head disciple. The entire sect hears the “WHAT” and “HE CAN’T STEAL MY BROTHER” echoing from Jiang Cheng’s general direction.

[yamujiburo]

HANAMUSA (JESSIExDELIA) MASTER POST

I probably should have started doing this forever ago but I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna stick with drawing these comics. But I guess we’re in it now! This will be continually updated~ EVERYTHING UNDER THE CUT

BEFORE YOU START:

This post is required reading about Team Rocket’s ages since that’s usually a question that comes up a lot LOL. As for Delia’s age, she is said to be 29 in Takeshi Shudo’s (original writer on Pokémon) novel that built out the world and characters of the anime.

Next, I feel like this chart helps give the vibe of what these characters relationship is (all just headcanons except for their names and ages)!

WHERE TO START:

Here’s a post I made detailing how Jessie, James and Meowth initially start living with Delia. It also goes into what each character does in this AU. Before going into the post, you might enjoy this fanfic my girlfriend commissioned! It’s based off of said post and is a more enjoyable read.

Here’s also a list of headcanons!

COMICS:

Here’s all the comics I’ve done! The order of most of them are pretty ambiguous and up in the air but I put them in the order I kinda see in my head! There are some that do take place before Jessie and Delia start dating though! Also a few comics that have several parts but the “next” and “prev” links will be in each comic. So I’ll only link the first part of those ones in this masterpost.

Pre-Relationship

Fast Food

Ophidiophobia

Whipped

Making Eyes

Hairbrush

Inquiries

Separated

First Kiss

During Relationship

Big Bed

Tattoo

Crumbs

Pet Clown

I’d Like To

Jessica

Lipstick (not a comic but some fun extra dialogue for this)

Glow

Official

Stare Down

Shovel Talk

Invisible Walls

Date Night

Face Blind

One Motto Away

Snowgasboard

Delia’s Got a Cold

Mr. Jessie Ketchum

Peek-At-Chu

Hands Off Pikachu!

Wine Nights with James

Beauty and the Beach

Turning Point Arc

Sunscreen

Where Do Babies Come From

Love Life

Ugly

Ace Trainers

Pikasitting

Mother’s Day

Father’s Day

Gift for Delia

Gift for Jessie

Jessilina Fan

Crossdressing

Hickeys

Journey Arc

Tone

Cooking Twerp

Son

Cooking Advice

Serperior Facts

Cassidy’s Cabin Arc

Father/Son Bonding

Glasses

Uniform

Study Help

Happy Valentine’s Day

Wrapped

Daddy Daughter Double Battle

Splinter

Married Life

Wedding

Arbok/Weezing Reunion

Snake Eyes

MISC DRAWINGS:

I’ll update this with links to my other miscellaneous drawings later! 

FAQ:

What does "Hanamusa" mean?

Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.

When does this AU take place?

It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.

What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?

Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.

If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?

Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).

Who do you think Ash’s dad is?

I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.

Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?

That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.

Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?

Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.

You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?

I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!

Who does James end up with in this AU?

No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single

Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU

I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!

What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?

Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.

Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?

I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.

Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon

Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon

Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?

Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.

Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?

Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.

Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?

Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.

Will you ever put this on webtoon?

Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~

[mziroe]

national gf day! 

ft. monster trio (separate)

National gf day was like 3 days ago… this is for us delulus with no one to post us :( it’s modern au sorta

Luffy

was probably reminded by Nami or Robin about it

honestly, i don’t think he’d even know, you’d be his very first girlfriend

but once he does know, he’ll do all sorts of things for you! Including dinner for the two of you (nowhere super fancy, but still special nonetheless ‘cause it’d be where you guys had your first date or something)

at first, he wouldn’t really understand why he would post you on his social media (honestly i don't think he uses social media often, probably has an acc w many followers but never posts)

maybe Nami had to explain to him why it’d make you feel special and happy, and he does so without question

probably a simple story post of you (probably a bad photo in your opinion, but he thought you looked cute) and he just tagged you with something like ‘happy gf day to my gf!’ and like some goofy emoji that doesn't even correlate like meat or something

Zoro

another absolutely clueless one, angry reminder from Sanji ‘YOU BETTER TREAT HER RIGHT TODAY IS NATIONAL GF DAY! YOU DO SOMETHING YOU STUPID MOSSHEAD!’ (u cannot convince me they aren't bffs.)

will take you on a date to your favourite place but will be very nonchalant about it, he will even bring you your favourite flowers as well. (you mentioned it a really long time ago and didn’t think he remembered ‘cause you thought he was sleeping but he actually remembered every single word you said)

afterwards, he will take you back home, cuddle up with you and take a long ass nap

will post at the end of the day, a picture of you from the date. It’s very ‘soft launch’ vibes tho, probably a mirror pic with you holding his hand or his arm around your shoulder

he’ll just have a heart emoji and you tagged

also i honestly think modern!zoro is an avid gym goer, the only posts he has is probably you and his gym pictures

Sanji

the only one out of the trio that knows about national gf day, has notification for every single important date regarding you (anniversaries, birthday and every miniscule day he can celebrate with you, is there.)

from the moment you wake up, he will be doting on you, even more so than usual, breakfast in bed, all your favourite little things lined up for you for that day, imagine the both of you cooking together at home as a date :(

every wish is his command, he will treat you like this every single important date as well, be prepared to literally be pampered like a princess

avid social media updater; will post you throughout the day. starting with a picture of you from when you wake up with your little breakfast in bed

people looking at his story will see so many stories of you on that day that they will scroll to the next person’s story once they see the 5th one of the day.

but right at the end of the day he will make a little collage of all the pictures of you he took for the day, as well as his favourite photos of you.

has the cutest love song on that story (probably in French hehe) along with the sweetest paragraph of how much he loves you

[laura1633]

Fic list and introduction Thought I would add a pinned post as a bit of an intro and also to provide a list of some of my stories (which are contained below the cut). My blog is mostly Lestappen related although I do post other F1 bits and pieces from time to time. I am a huge Max Verstappen fan so I am always happy to talk about Max, although only in a positive sense because I want to try and keep away from negativity as much as possible on this blog. I also adore Charles and not just in a Lestappen sense. I love Charles' racing style and I love it most when Max and Charles are battling on track. There are various other drivers I like such as Oscar, Fernando, Alex and more.

My ao3 name is - LaurawritingF1 I have written far too many stories to list them all here but I have included quite a long list of Lestappen fanfics I have written below the cut. I have tried to organise them into bottom Charles, bottom Max, omegaverse, silly, cute and drama. Feel free to send my any questions you have about any of my stories but please know that I am really still practising and learning so please try and be nice. Also please check the individual tags on each story on ao3 as there is a large variety. It's not a full list and doesn't include the other pairings I have written for (inc Landoscar, Maxiel, Max/Oscar), all my other fics can be found on my ao3 page.

Feel free to send me any questions about anything x

********** Links to various ao3 fics:

Bottom Charles: Good Boy - Multi Chapters - Trainee sub Charles and soft Dom Max. All the gear, no idea - Large cock Max, Size queen Charles. My first time - Virgin Charles. Daddy - Charles accidentally calls Max daddy. Curious - Charles' first experience with rimming. Princess - Max giving Charles the babygirl treatment. Nice Guy - Max comes to Charles' rescue when he is handcuffed to the bed Jealous - Max cuckolds Charles and Charles realises he is jealous of his girlfriend My Pretty Princess - AU -Multi Chapter - F1 driver Max and Camboy Charles. Safe - sub Charles safe words out of a scene, Dom Max gives him aftercare. Two Minutes - Charles tied up and vibes whilst Max is in a meeting. Solo - Charles lets Max watch him masturbate. Keeping warm - Charles cock warming Max to help him relax. Wake up call Charles riding Max whilst the Dutchman is asleep Like a Prayer - Sexy Priest Max and sex in a church I do - Multi Chapters - Angst with happy ending - Sex in a church Save a Bull, Ride a Thigh - Charles rides Max's thighs after a padel game How to properly care for your boyfriend’s thighs; A lesson by Charles Leclerc Red - Angst - Max fucks Charles in front of Charles' boyfriend Two Things - A developing relationship told through sex. No way at all - Max and Charles in a M/M/F threesome but interested in each other.

Bottom Max: Sounds from above - Charles hears Max having sex in the apartment upstairs The Sweetest Deal - AU - Sponsor Charles/Driver Max - Babygirlification Favourite Activity - Developing relationship told through sex 50 shades of red - Charles praises Max and makes him blush Pretty Cute - Charles telling Max how pretty he is The Auction - Dom Charles/sub Max - Charles bids on a night with Max All Yours - Multi chapters - ongoing - Dom Charles/sub Max 5 times Charles helps soothe Max to sleep - inc non sexual bondage Picture perfect - Max and Charles get Grindr Fast learner - Virgin Max Knock Out - Charles walks in on Max masturbating Can't even get it started - Frustration for Charles means he can't perform You play the role so well - Virgin Max Your hands on me - Charles chokes Max as he fucks him Earn it - Bratty sub Max and Dom Charles Late night question - Max is horny so goes to Charles - topping from bottom Pretty in red - A history of Max's experiences wearing panties Still Pretty in Red - Max in panties (again) A not so private show - AU - Camboy Max / Driver Charles Feel nothing. Feel something. Feel .... Charles is upset and needs to fuck it out A Late Night Snack - Charles eats Max out. Sweet like sugar - AU - Sugarbaby Max and Sugar Daddy Charles Other: Misunderstanding - Hand job - Max is oblivious to Charles' flirting with him An outfit fit for a surprise Charles in a crop top and Max masturbating over his waist Practice makes perfect - Max help Charles practice his blow jobs Pens, fingers and most definitely cock … - Max has an oral fixation Fia approved stress relief - Charles uses a sex doll that looks like Max, Max watches You're Hot - Charles praising Max in front of the mirror and giving him a blow job The Impact of errors - AU - boss Max spanks secretary Charles Red, Don't leave - Max providing Charles with aftercare Coming together - Soulmates - AU Porn start Charles and F1 driver Max Omegaverse Peaches and cream - Chussy - Alpha Max eating Omega Charles out Flush - AU - Chussy - Alpha Mob boss Max fucking Omega Charles The Eight - Omega Charles in a drug induced heat, locked in a room with alpha Max. Just need to get to you - Omega Charles gets his drink spiked, Protective Max. Chussy Whipped - Omega Charles makes Alpha Max watch him touch himselfSlick wet (at the thought of you) - Alpha Charles fingering Omega Max's pussy Tentacles: Don't touch what isn't yours - Max fucked by a tentacles sex toy Beautiful, unique and made for pleasure - Max has tentacles

Cute: A million times over - Max wakes from an operation and hits on his husband Charles Carburettor - Max and Charles have to look after a baby doll as part of grill the grid Tomato Soup - Max helps Charles prepare for his dinner date. Compliments -Max'f girlfriend never compliments him but Charles does. Falling in love - Love Confessions through a game involving a series of questions Just Pretend - Fake relationship trope - Angst with a happy ending A Different Kind of Hook up - Max asks Charles back to his to cuddle Caregiver Charles and Cute Little Max - Fluff - Multi chapters- Age regression

Silly: Zombies - Max gets scared by a zombie movie whilst at the cinema with Charles Heartbeat - Max is dressed up as a nurse and it's really affecting Charles' health. A shower, a spider and ...- - Max and Charles scared by a spider

Drama: On the line - Angst with happy ending - Charles gets his drink spiked In the morning - Angst with a happy ending - Max gets his drink spiked. Birthday Drunk - Multi Chapters - Falling in love over a series of Charles' birthdays Like a cat - Charles has a panic attack and Max looks after him I wish you could have known the person ... - Angst with happy ending - Coming out Not quite ready - Angst with hopeful ending - Max is outed against his will Drag me to the show - Charles shows Max his dresses - Supportive Max A love song - Angst with hopeful ending- Max comforting a stressed Charles Hitching a ride - Very Dark themes - True Crime AU - Hitchhiker Charles Enough for now - Angst with a happy ending - Max pining for Charles Red and Blue - Soulmates - Asexuality - Angst with happy ending Holding on to you - Charles navigates his relationship with asexual Max

The other Lestappen pairing: Firsts - Multi Chapter - Virgin Arthur - Falling in love - Max/Arthur Leclerc Threesomes/Foursomes/Groups involving Max/Charles: A Handful of Winner's Medals - Multi Chapter - Max fucked by multiple drivers The Anatomy Lesson of Dr Wolff - AU Anatomical model Max - Max x multi drivers An Unconventional Surprise - Top Max, Bottom Pierre, Bottom Charles Sleepover in 816 - Top Charles, Bottom Max, Top/Bottom Oscar Two's company; Three's even better - Pierre/Max/Charles - Free use bottom Max A weekend away - Foursome - Max/Charles/Carlos/Lando Three - Max/Carlos/Charles - Threesome from three perspectives with a twist Both so good - Lando and Charles give Max a blow job The Show - Carlando are stuck in a closet and watch Lestappen fuck Naughty or Nice - Competitive Threesome for Max's attention- Daniel/Max/Charles Double Date - subs Lando and Max with Doms Carlos and Charles A Lot to Handle - Max is too much for Daniel to handle alone - Daniel/Max/Charles A Little Bit of Max Time - Poly Daniel/Max/Charles There are other stories on my ao3 page <3

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Joel Miller Masterlist

SERIES

the stable girl* — soft but hesitant!joel develops a crush on reader, the new horse trainer at the stables. he’s reluctant to believe that he deserves someone as good as you, but with everyone falling in love and finding happiness around him, he can’t help but start to feel hopeful too. (COMPLETED)

breaking up slowly* — a six-part series where joel and his ex-girlfriend, reader, find themselves tasked with escorting Marlene’s immune teenage ward to the Fireflies. all the yearning and all the lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers shit that makes me happy. (ONGOING)

elementary* — you’re Sarah’s fifth grade teacher, and after meeting her father at a parent/teacher conference, you find yourself developing a strong interest and affection for the two struggling Millers. (COMPLETED)

just friends* — joel wants you and you want him, only issue is your boyfriend. but…there’s no harm in being just friends, right? (CANCELLED—WILL NOT UPDATE)

in the cold, cold night* -- western au!joel miller x oc. all the cowboy and farmer's daughter vibes. very minor age gap (joel is 28, oc is 24). (CANCELLED—WILL NOT UPDATE)

ONESHOTS

A Symptom of Age* — joel is exhausted and has a case of impotence, reader proves she doesn’t care the best way she knows how. 3.4k

What I Love* — joel details what he loves about reader. soft sex. 1.4k

Christmas Tree Farm* — part of 8 Days of Christmas ‘22. from The Stable Girl universe. smut and domestic fluff. 4.2k

Drunken Serenade* — smutty fluff about how reader won over the grumpiest guy in Jackson. 2.5k

The Babysitter* — pre-outbreak!joel x babysitter!reader. smut and feelings. 1.2k

Dust To Dust* — reader and joel have a well-practiced routine. smut and soft ending. 2k

Not-so Formal Introduction* — reader meets joel’s family for the first time in an awkward way. 1.7k

A Warm Bed* — reader gets lonely and so does joel. FILTH. 3.4k

The Third Date* — you invite joel in after your third date. smut and fluff. 2.6k

After Work Relief* -- Joel helps relieve your tension. 1.5k

DRABBLES

The Visit* — part of Spooktacular ‘22. ghost!joel visits a mourning reader. sad vibes and ghost sex.

Trick Or Treat — Joel takes Sarah trick-or-treating and meets you.

Swallow* — joel face fucks you. that’s it.

Drunk On You* — smut.

Eyes on Me* — joel doesn’t want you to look away.

Fear Of Failure -- the first time you see joel miller cry.

Same Old, Same Old — the one where reader leaves.

[daisynik7]

Hi, hi, hiiiii!! first of all, I hope you are doing fine! So, um, if it's alright with you I have two requests. One with Eren and the second with Geto.

for geto's I picked Try by Nelly Furtado, (https://open.spotify.com/intl-fr/track/1kS9d4x0ftbfq65eaBGSCT?si=2533cca641954131) a fluff/comfort with a bit of smut (of course) where Geto feels a bit guilty for not being as ingaged in the relationship as reader because of all the stuff he had been through and how bad it affected it (he is madly in love with reader, but, you know). so when he vocalizes his thoughts and feelings reader (who is just as in love and crazy about him) comforts him and makes him understand that she's willing to take all what he has to offer, with no pressure at all and that she will never give up on him and helps him get better. it's kind of, I'll be by yourself and support you while you fix yourself vibe.

aaaand for Eren Iris by goo goo dolls, a fluffy fluff with smut about the moment Eren realizes how deeply in love he is with reader and that he's ready to do anything for her.

No pressure of course!! and thank you so much!

Try

Pairing: Suguru Geto x f!reader

Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Word Count: ~1.5k

cw: no curses au, modern setting au, descriptions of anxiety and depression, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl), cunnilingus, fingering

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting a song for my y2k karaoke party @ichinosejager13! Ily so much, thanks for always being so supportive of me. I appreciate you so much and I hope I did your idea justice! I haven’t written much for Geto, so it’s been fun doing something a little different. Likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated. Thank you for reading! MDNI interact banner by @/cafekitsune.

The Eren request will be coming soon in a separate post! 

Geto lies in bed beside you, sleeping peacefully with his hair spread loosely on the pillow. 

You twirl a strand of it between your fingers, marveling at how soft it is against your skin. It’s the longest it’s ever been, split-ends frayed at the tips. When’s the last time he had a trim? Must have been months ago, so long that you don’t even remember. 

You study his face, noticing the dried streaks of tears on his cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes. It’s only now that you recall last night’s heavy conversation, the reason behind his somber expression. 

~~~

The two of you eat dinner in silence, poking chopsticks into greasy take-out containers from your favorite Chinese restaurant. Geto sits across from you, staring blankly at his chow mein, barely putting anything in his mouth. The light bulb above you, the one illuminating the dining table, flickers. Out loud, you say, “Need to change that out.” 

It’s meant more as a reminder for yourself, not to your boyfriend. You notice him throw the container haphazardly on the table, breathing staggered. “I’m sorry.”

Confused, you set down your food, focusing on him. “Suguru?”

“I can’t do this. You don’t deserve this,” he mutters.

More perplexed, you stand up, stepping towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Sweetie, what are you talking about?”

He continues to stare into his lap, voice low and eerily monotone. “I can’t make you happy anymore.”

“What do you mean? I’m so happy. I really am.”

“How can you be happy with someone like me?!” He sniffles, tears dripping down his chin now. “Broken light bulbs, dinners in silence, a fucking loser who can’t even get out of his own fucking house. Who could ever love someone like me?”

Your heart aches, throat tight with emotions. It’s devastating to hear him talk this way about himself, to hear how low he’s sunken into the abyss. For as long as you’ve known him, Geto has always been forward about his struggles with anxiety and depression. He’s been an advocate for medication from the start, making it clear when you first started dated that he was on them. A few months ago he decided to wean off the pills, confident he was in a much better place. You supported his choice, encouraging him to do what he felt was best for himself.

He began to spiral about four weeks ago, when he was laid off from his job. That same week, he learned that his parents, who he hasn’t contacted in years, have passed away. A couple days ago, Satoru Gojo, his oldest and closest friend, walked out of his life for reasons Geto is still trying to comprehend. It was hit after hit after hit, and finally, he was knocked out.

But that doesn’t mean you won’t try to pull him back up. 

“Suguru, I love you. I love you so much, I promise you. I’m going to be here for you, no matter what,” you say, squeezing him.

Finally, he looks at you, defeated and in need of comfort. “You won’t leave me like everyone else did?”

You take him into your hands, kissing his forehead. “No, sweetie. I won’t.”

“And you’ll love me even when I’m broken?”

You nod with your nose nuzzled to his. “I’ll love you no matter what. You’re not broken. You don’t need to be fixed.”

You wrap your arms around him, holding him tenderly as he sobs into your shoulder. “I want to be better. For you. For us,” he cries. “I’m trying my best, I really am.”

“I know you are. I know you are, Sugu,” you say, stroking his hair. “I don’t need anything more than that.”

You spend the rest of the night consoling him, listening to him share every emotion and thought he has in his head. The guilt of his parents’ death, the shame he feels being unemployed, the confusion at the sudden departure of Gojo. You don’t have answers to any of the questions that plague his mind, but he doesn’t expect you to. You offer as much comfort as you can, holding him in your arms, brushing away the incessant tears falling from his face, kissing every inch of him as if you were kid, thinking it would heal any of his boo-boos. Eventually, the two of you fall asleep together in your bed, snuggled under the blanket, cradled in each other’s arms. 

~~~

It's been almost an hour now, listening to his steady breathing, watching the delicate flutter in his eyelashes, hoping he’s having a tranquil rest. You press a soft kiss to his forehead with no intention of waking him up. Yet, he slowly opens his eyes, a faint smile forming at his lips when he realizes it’s you.

“Good morning,” you whisper. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Don’t be. You’re the best thing to wake up to.” He locks his fingers with yours, shifting his body to face you. “Have you been up for a while?”

You lie, shaking your head. “No, I just woke up.”

He brushes the outline of your lips with his thumb, smile growing. “Liar. You’ve been watching me sleep.”

You giggle, nestling into his chest, hiding your face. “Okay, you caught me.”

His chin rests on the top of your head, his arms surrounding you in a loving embrace. “I’m sorry about last night.”

“I told you, Sugu. Stop apologizing –”

“I know, I know. Still, I want to make it up to you somehow.”

You untuck yourself from his chest, peering up at him. “You don’t have to.”

“But I want to. Whatever you want, I’ll do it.”

“I just want you, Suguru. Just you.”

He smiles, shimmying down the bed to meet your lips with his. “I can give you that.”

It happens quickly; Geto strips you naked in a matter of seconds, positioned between your thighs, hidden beneath the covers. He starts to lick your clit gently at first, teasing it until it’s swelling on his tongue. You shrug the blanket off enough to see his face, indulging in your arousal, eyes gazing at you, lips curved in a naughty little smirk. He makes sure to eat you out noisily, sucking on your bud with a loud smack every time he draws it from his mouth, slurping the slick leaking from your slit. Soon, his fingers are inside you, the tips curled at your sweet spot, stimulating it until you’re gushing all over his face. 

He collects all your cum on his tongue, swallowing it. “Fuck, you always get so wet for me, he moans, kneeling in front of you. He shoves his underwear down his legs, stroking his stiff cock in his fist. “I want to make you feel so good, baby. Give you everything I have.”

“You always make me feel good,” you whimper, reaching for him.

Holding your hand in his, he brings it up to his mouth, brushing your knuckles against his lips. “I love you so much, sweetie. I wish I could show it better.”

“You do,” you assure him. “You always make me feel loved.”

“Are you sure?” he asks, surrounding you with his body, rolling you on top of him. 

“I’m positive,” you reply, smiling at him. You lean down to kiss him while you straddle his lap, teasing your swollen clit along his shaft. 

“I love you so much,” he breathes out, closing his eyes, relaxing into the mattress as you pleasure him. “You’re always so good to me.”

You sink down on his cock, adjusting to his size slowly until your ass is pressed to his pelvis. He’s buried deep inside you, your pussy squeezing him tight. He plants his feet on the bed, thrusting up into you at an even pace. 

“Honey,” he hisses, wrapping his arms around you, picking up speed. You barely move as he fucks you earnestly, bed creaking noisily below you, fingers pressed firmly to your clit. He flicks it with the wide pad of his thumb, staring at you with a hazy expression. “Come on my cock, baby. I want to watch you squirt all over me.”

On demand, you approach your climax, riding your orgasm out on his lap until you’re spent. He keeps himself inside you as you collapse on top of him, catching your breath. His hands trail up to your back, massaging soothing circles against your skin. 

With his mouth grazing your ear, he whispers, “I’m going to be better a better boyfriend to you. I promise. I’ll do whatever I can, so I don’t lose you.”

You turn your head to face him, smiling. “You won’t lose me, Suguru. I’ll always be here for you.”

[jobean12-blog]

Along for the Ride

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader (Biker AU)

Word Count: 1,855

Summary: You convince Joel to go to the state fair wtih you..he’s grumpy about it but he’ll do anything that makes you happy.  

Author’s Note: This is for @the-slumberparty June Monthly Challenge-Summer vibes! My item is a popsicle and my setting is a festival/fair. Thank you so much to Navy and Roo for hosting! I have one planned in the same setting for Cowboy!Joel because one my friends are the best kind of support and two it was really too hard to pick between them haha! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️All dividers used are by my lovely Daisy @firefly-graphics

Warnings: lots of fun, fluff and flirting, soft and sweet moments, Joel is grumpy but he’s always perfect for you. 

EDIT NOT MINE: Thank you so much to @pedritosdarling for making this amazing edit with my Biker!Joel in mind, it means so much! I LOVE IT! 😍

Joel Miller Masterlist

“Is it ok if we take my bike darlin’?”

“Of course,” you answer with a quick kiss. “You know I love riding with you…but showing up in your pickup truck would be more on par for the fair,” you giggle.

“Yeah, yeah. I still can’t believe you convinced me to go to this,” he grumbles.

“It didn’t take much,” you tease, batting your lashes.

“Well you had me in a compromising position when you asked. I wasn’t exactly thinking with my brain.  I’m pretty sure I would have agreed to anything princess.”  

He’s trying to suppress a smile but the more you hold his gaze the more his lips twitch upward.

“We’re going to have a great time,” you state as you pack your bag. “Besides, you never tell me no…no matter what position you’re in.”

You wiggle your shoulders haughtily before asking, “and what’s with calling me princess?”

He slides up behind you, pressing into your body so he has you caged along the counter, his arms on either side of you.

His lips brush the shell of your ear. “Mm you’re right, I never tell you no. Made me think of a princess…”

“And you’re my knight in shining armor,” you giggle, willing your body not to react to him.

Warm and soft lips trail down your neck before meeting your shoulder, his fingers pushing the strap of your dress down so he can continue his path of kisses.

“Thought I was your teddy bear…” he murmurs.

His beard tickles your skin, sending goosebumps running down your arm.

“Joel,” you breathe out, trembling in his hold. “Don’t you dare try to distract me. We are going to the fair.”

Your words come out breathy and much less assertive than you wanted and you feel him smile against your skin.

“Whatever you say princess.”

His other hand smooths down the curve of your waist and he turns you around to face him. His kisses continue to move down your neck, across your collarbone, and he traces the thin edge of the top of your dress, the barest of touches but it leaves a burning heat in its wake.

“Joel.”

It’s a warning but comes out more like a whine.

He takes your chin between his thick fingers and brings your eyes to his, kissing you softly before smiling.

“Ok darlin’. Come on. I’m gonna take you to the fair…”

His warm hand closes around yours and he starts to walk you to the door.

“I feel like there was a but at the end of that sentence,” you say, squeezing his fingers.

“Let’s just hope I can behave while we’re there.”

With a cheeky wink he escorts you out the door, handing you your helmet before throwing a long leg over his bike.

You practically skip toward the entrance, one of Joel’s hands in yours and his other stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans as you drag him nearer.

“Come on you!”

He takes too long strides and catches up, releasing your hand only to wrap it around your waist and tuck you into his side.

“What are we doin’ first?” he asks with a kiss to the top of your head.

As you approach the fairgrounds, the air is filled with anticipation and a buzz of excitement. Everything is colorful and vibrant from the bright lights and colorful banners to the lively music playing in the background.

You glance at Joel and notice as he takes it all in that he’s rubbing the back of his neck and looking sort of misplaced.

When he catches you staring he huffs lightly. “I stick out like a sore thumb.”

You do nothing to hide the way you blatantly check him out then grab the front of his tight tee shirt and drag his lips down to yours.

“Who cares,” you whisper when you pull away.

Your fingers sneak under the tight sleeves of his tee before sliding down over his biceps. He flexes and you hum appreciatively, pressing closer.

“Now who’s lookin’ to cause a distraction princess,” he growls.

Your teeth dig into your bottom lip and you give him a demure smile.

As you move further onto the grounds, you’re immediately greeted by a plethora of sights and smells. Food stands line the pathways, enticing you with the delightful aroma of freshly cooked and fried treats.

“Somethin’ smells good,” he says, eyeing the ice cream and cotton candy stand.

“Let’s get something!” you cheer as you rush over.

After ordering two popsicles you head over to a picnic table in the shade.

“Do you want some?” you ask as the pop hovers near your mouth.

He keeps his eyes trained on you and waits, watching intensely as you press it to your lips, parting them then sucking it into your mouth.

“Mmmm so good.”

He sits on the bench of the table, his legs spread wide as you settle between them, still working the popsicle in and out of your mouth.

“Princess,” he warns, his eyes dark. “You better stop sucking on that pop like you wish it was my…”

“Joel Miller don’t you dare finish that sentence!” you admonish but make no move to stop the way you’re clearly deep throating your popsicle. “We are at the fair and there are children present.”

Without another word he grabs you around the waist and pulls you down onto his lap, his free hand landing on your bare thigh.

“I’m pretty sure no one would be surprised if I said what I wanted to say darlin’.”

“Yeah, yeah. Big tough guy…tattoos…leather…”

You press your cold lips to his scruffy cheek and then move to take another lick of your popsicle but he grabs your face and turns it so he can give you a proper kiss, parting your lips to taste the flavor on your tongue.

“You done working that popsicle yet?” he asks, brushing his lips lightly along yours.

You push it back into your mouth then pop it out again. “Nope!”

He shifts you on his lap so you can feel how your popsicle eating antics are affecting him.

With a squeak you wiggle your butt and he quickly tightens his hold on your waist to stop you.

“And I thought I was the one who was going to be the problem today,” he simpers.

You shrug like it’s nothing, still sucking on your popsicle.

“Ok, I’m done,” you say, when there’s nothing left but the wooden stick. “Let’s go find a game where you can win me a stuffed animal.”

You hop off his lap and tug on his hand.

“Just gimme a minute princess.”

You giggle and go to sit back down but he blocks you.

“Darlin’,” he grumbles. “That won’t help any.”

When you discover the games you’re eager to find one in particular and you pull Joel along, pointing out all the cute stuffed animals he can win for you.

“There it is!” you shout.

You rush over to the balloon dart game and try to keep your excitement at bay.

“You’re going to be so good at this,” you tell him. “You always beat the guys at darts at the bar!”

The guy working the booth gives Joel the once over before taking his money. You roll your eyes and press yourself into Joel’s side, giving the guy a mocking smile.

Joel lines up his shot and pulls his arm back to let the dart fly. It lands just above a red balloon. You don’t say anything and just wait as he takes the other two shots.

He misses them both.

“Fucking weighted darts,” he grumbles. “They make it so you can’t win this shit.”

His body is tense and his jaw is set in a hard line.

You hang on to his bicep and whisper in his ear, “one more time…for me? Please?”

He looks at you and his expression softens. “Just for you princess.”

He pays for another round of darts and readies himself again. The first two miss but on his last shot he hits a blue balloon and it explodes in a spray of water.

“Fuck yeah!” he cheers and you join in with a whoop of happiness.

“Which one do you want princess?” he asks as he pulls you in front of him and wraps you in his arms.

“THE BIG PINK UNICORN!” you say excitedly.

The guy at the booth pulls it down and hands it to you.

“What are you gonna name him,” Joel asks.

“Joel.”

He raises a bushy eyebrow. “Really princess.”

“Yep,” you reply, popping the p. “Really, really.”

“He can be best friends with the teddy bear you got me,” you explain as you run your fingers over your new unicorn.

Having Joel’s bike was the best idea, especially once it came time to catch the evening sunset before fireworks and the two of you are able to meander through the traffic and find a secluded spot on the grass.

You sit comfortably in his embrace, watching the sky transform into a canvas of vibrant colors, the hues of orange, pink and purple beginning to spread across the horizon.

“This is so beautiful,” you say in awe.

He grunts in response.

After a few moments you turn in his arms and snort.

“That’s all you got? Ungh.”

You mimic the noise he made.

He stares at you. “You’re so much more beautiful.”

You stare back and suddenly your eyes go wide and light up in realization.

“OH MY GOD, you’re still grumpy about losing the darts game!”

He looks offended. “I am not darlin’! And besides, I didn’t lose…I won you the unicorn didn’t I?”

You poke his hard chest. “You are so!” you tease. “And I mean it took you two tries…”

“Whatever you say princess,” he mutters, but you can see the corners of his lips turn up slightly.

“And his name is JOEL,” you add, unable to stop your laughter that bubbles up.

He kisses the smile right off your lips but you feel his own before he presses the palm of his hand to your cheek and brushes his thumb across your skin, his eyes soft as he studies your face.

You reach up and lightly drag your fingers across his jaw then run your nose along the same path, your eyes closing as your lips meet in a soft kiss.

The sun descends, its rays illuminating the fairgrounds, casting long shadows and creating a beautiful interplay of light and dark. The rides, food stalls and exhibits start to twinkle, creating a background of sparkling rainbow lights against the deepening sky.

His hands move lower, curling around your waist and sliding you under him until you’re laying back on the blanket beneath him.

As his lips kiss a path down your neck his hand slides up along your inner thigh and he gently pushes your legs part.

“Joel, the fireworks are about to start,” you weakly protest, letting your legs fall open.

“Nothin’ you haven’t seen before,” he murmurs, his hand gliding higher. “And besides, think I’ve behaved for long enough princess.”

@sstan-hoe @justkinsey @blackwidownat2814 @beccablogsthings @laineyreads @lorilane33​ @littleseasiren​

[yagirljosieohyeah]

Hi! Can I request a demon slayer modern day AU where the hashiras S/O gets them into skincare or makes them do skincare with them?

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I THOUGHT I HIT POST AND ONLY REALIZED I WASN’T GETTING ANY NOTIFICATIONS

Of course no problem for this one I’m just gonna do headcannons I hope that’s all right

GIYŪ TOMIOKA

He would be excited but he wouldn’t make it clear he is

he would be confused about what everything

but your the expert so he just lets you do your thing and he kinda sits there

will close his eyes and relax into your hands

I think he would like the facial rollers the best

KYŌJURŌ RENGOKU

Is a bit unsure at first but he is willing to support whatever you feel like doing

Will talk the entire time about the most random things

has no idea what your doing but goes with it

Would want to try it on you

his favorite thing is lotion cause it makes your skin all soft

TENGEN UZUI

His wives would totally join in and all of you would be trying to convince him to do it

he of course would give in once you all started asking

You would be getting little kisses from Suma the whole time

Hinatsuru xould be so stubborn honestly

Maiko would be pretty quiet during it

freaking Tenzen would be the one to yell that it’s cold when you do anything

his favorite thing is the cucumbers on the eyes because even though it does nothing he likes to eat them at the end

MITSURI KANROJI

She would be so excited

would do yours too

would want to either cuddle and go to bed or put on makeup after and go out

she would have lots of skincare too

Will tell you random stories she makes up while you do it on her

her favorite thing is the headbands and her favorite headband is the pink bunny one

SHINOBU KOCHŌ

I’m sorry did you think you would be the one prompting the skincare…

no it’s her al the way

she’s got all the fancy creams and she knows what they all do

she will tell you not to waste your money on certain things

she would love skincare dates

her favorite thing is sheet masks

MUICHIRŌ TOKITŌ

Definitely not excited (he is)

would sit quietly and let you do your thing

literally glared into your eyes

Will hold your hand even though it makes it more difficult for you

his favorite thing is… soap (he’s boring)

GYŌMEI HIMEJIME

Is so happy to do whatever you want

will smile as you do your thing

gives you a kiss every now and then

Will try different products on you

his favorite thing is gua shaw (I just get those vibes)

OBANAI IGURO

Rolls his eyes when you ask to do skincare

will say no the first 100 times

Grumbles curses under his breath the whole time

Hates anything sticky

will not do sheet masks

however his favorite thing is probably clay masks.

SANEMI SHINZUGAWA

says yes violently

Will curse anytime he thinks it’s too cold

such an asshole the entire time

if you put something to help with his scar he will be happy but won’t say anything

his favorite thing is under eye pads (I RAN OUT OF SKINCARE OKAY)

[mingigoo]

Halloween 🍂 k.hj (m)

based on Halloween by phoebe bridgers

🍂 pairing ⇢ roommate! Hongjoong x medical student! (fem) reader

🍂 summary ⇢ life is the same, no matter a holiday. You wake up, hear the sirens from the hospital down the street, go to work, and come back home to your beautiful roommate, Hongjoong. It’s an endless cycle, but this Halloween, you could be anything—do anything. You decide to give into your infatuation, causing life to take a turn for you both. Happy Halloween, I guess.

🍂genre/au ⇢ Halloween au, roommate au, friends to lovers

🍂 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors dni, mental illness (anxiety attacks), unprotected sex, hongjoong is a literal chef and certified sweetheart, literally the best roommate you could ever have, dreary, sad vibes, hongjoong has a cat, spooky season vibes, mention of death, oral sex (female recieving), best friends that dont know how to express their feelings, halloween party, yunho makes an appearance, hongjoong makes music, roommates to lovers, plz let me know if I missed anything.

🍂word count ⇢ 13.5k

🍂taglist ⇢ @atinywhore@meowmeowminnie @roe-sinning @yeritheloml @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @8tinytings @yukine-smx @jjhmk @yesv01 @halesandy @ch0isa99ie @y00nzin0 @spiderrenjunfics

Halloween. The time to dress up and act like someone you’re not. To have that insatiable feeling to be someone new—to put on a mask. To be absolutely anything you desire…

But the thing is, it’s not just you. You're not the only one feeling this way, and it's ever so apparent on one singular day, when everyone has a chance to hide their flaws behind comical masks or tedious costume designs. It's all out of fun, people say. It's the trend, it's the reason for the occasion. But, out of everything, you are becoming whatever you want—the same way Cinderella became a princess overnight, only to get it taken away from her the minute the hour of the next day struck.

To you, Halloween was your excuse to become a different person. To gain a new strength you never had. To free your mind into an alternate reality and explore those deep feelings you've been keeping away from spilling over the surface.

And this halloween, you were going to find your way out of that dark room you called a mind.

—

You sat in your cozy nook of the townhouse you shared, a mug of steaming coffee next to you while you read. Slow, gentle rain drops fell down the glass of the window, the soft pitter-patter  creating an intimate environment. Your roommate’s cat added to the feeling, as she was curled up in a ball at your feet, dusty fur matching your fluffy socks.

It's finally october—your favorite time of the year, although there was no reason for it other than the tasty coffee flavors and the colorful scenery. Your roommate also adored the season, as it reflected in his peculiar food concoctions and outfit choices. Sometimes you would just sit and watch his eyes sparkle as he would do his favorite things, keeping your admiration in check.

Of course, he was on your mind way more than a roommate should be. Even now, as your eyes move from word to word across the smooth pages, you begin to think of his smile.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Your shift at the hospital ended the night before, three hours later than normal. It's gotten to the point that you would shiver whenever you hear sirens—and you were blessed with not only hearing the sirens at work, but also at home. 

The hospital was only down the street; the closest one on this side of town. You had to keep those intrusive thoughts away, telling yourself someone better be dying just because the sirens are getting out of hand is a bit of a stretch, someone should slap you for thinking that way. In all honesty, you didn't actually mean it. The sounds were just so overwhelming, it felt like death was looming above you no matter where you turned.

Hongjoong hasn't returned from his morning classes yet. Luckily for you, you were doing your hospital internship and didn't have to take a bunch of classes this semester. Although basically living at a hospital isn't exactly any better.

You sighed as you watched the man of the hour walk through the lifeless leaves on the pavement through the window, keeping your heartbeat steady as you admired him. He had headphones on, hiding his cute little ear piercings and pieces of his faded rusty hair.

God, he made you sick.

The crimson door of the townhouse swung open, revealing the man you were just daydreaming about. He stood in the doorway, looking down at his damp, beaten up converse before bending down to untie them. He got impatient, and just pulled them off of his feet, leaving him only in his cute little pumpkin socks.

“y/n, I brought you a croissant,” he called out to you, not realizing you were only a glance away. He set his bag down on the table and took off his headphones, shaking his head to fix his hair. “You better get over here before I eat it.”

“Is it chocolate filled?” you asked him quietly from your nook, to which he whipped his head to look at you.

The minute he laid his eyes on you, he broke out in a huge smile, his gums showing. “Well, yeah. That's your favorite.”

You stared at him intently, setting down your book on your lap and sitting up a bit. This caused the kitty to meow, which had an immediate effect on your roommate.

His eyes widened. “Oh!” he gasped, running over to the cat to pay attention to her. “Look, baby, we’re twins,” he pointed to his pumpkin socks, smiling proudly. You knew that he only got those socks because of the pumpkins—and because his cat was named pumpkin. “My sweet little pumpkin.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” you scoffed, sliding out of your blanket and setting the book down. You made your way over to the table, which was where he set the croissant bag. “Anyway, thank you, joong.”

He looked over at you and smiled as a response, but it wasn't enough. You wanted him to come over to you and hold you tight, kiss you on the forehead, and let his soft breaths hit you as he would breathe for you.

Now, you weren't always like this. He’s been your roommate since freshman year, all the way back when you used to live on campus. You’ve been in three different living situations with him, but for some reason, living alone with him in a townhouse with a cat and a cute garden in the back just made your mind live in delululand. Dear god, you felt like a married couple at times, as he would spare no second to cook you dinner or help you with your laundry. 

There was just something about him that was so domestic—the same thing you craved every chance you got. But yet, here you were, still daydreaming about it all and never getting it to happen.

And you know exactly when it started. On that halloween, three years ago, when he held you tight in his embrace after finding out your grandmother had passed. It was one of the worst panic attacks in your history. He takes care of you when they happen now, but back then, it was all new to him.

It wasn't supposed to be the type of moment you think about how his hair smelled, or the way his dainty hands caressed the tears away. It wasn't supposed to play out that way. But yet, it did, and you were still stuck with the feelings years later.

Halloween is less than a month away now—this year, it was a chance for you to hide away, or show your true colors.

— —

It was midnight and cold and all you wanted to do was curl up in a ball in your bed. Being in the emergency room was even harder than you imagined, and you knew you had a night of tossing and turning ahead of you. Luckily tomorrow was a rest day, and you would be back on campus for a seminar. You needed a break from the hustle and bustle of life versus death, and you started to think that maybe you just weren't cut out for it. It was far too late for your indecisiveness to kick in, as it seemed to jump up and surprise you every now and again. Hey! This isn't what you want to do, right? What about this? Ah, no, that's not what I want….

A never ending cycle of your life. Wake up, think about hongjoong. Drink coffee made by hongjoong. Have your shoes tied by hongjoong. Go to work and nearly die. Come home from your commute and see hongjoong. Hongjoong makes food for you. Hongjoong smiles for you. Hongjoong…..

Hongjoong, Hongjoong, Hongjoong……

He’s everywhere; Is everything. You know you wouldn't survive without the helpful, caring hands of the man you called a roommate, but you also don't know what will happen when you graduate and part ways. Knowing that he has no mental ties to you quite in the way you have him tied around every morsel of your psyche, it nearly breaks your heart just thinking about it.

Would you crumble right there? Like an old painting or a sculpture, would you cave in without that constant attention? That constant affection for just your existence?

Giving up on your existential thoughts for the night, you slowly glided up the few steps of the brick townhouse, nearly tripping on the last step. You've already done that one too many times, as there is a permanent mark left on your favorite pair of shoes.

Finally opening the door, you entered your humble abode with a grimace, chucking off your shoes to reach the kitchen table. You sat down grumpily, putting your elbows up onto the table when the sweet smell of baking filled your senses.

“Joong? Whatcha makin?” you playfully spoke. He was leaning against the counter across from you, his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised.

“What does it smell like?” he asked you.

You shrugged, breaking your stare to rest your head on the cold table. “I guess like cookies.”

Joong took a second to respond to you, and ran a hand through his rusty hair. It used to be a vibrant red—just like the leaves of the trees. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he spoke softly, moving from his distant position to come a little closer, now leaning against the table. His arms held him up, and from your line of vision, you were able to see a few of his fingertips painted black. “Was it a bad day at the hospital?”

Sirens bellowed loudly from the street, as if on cue of the topic. You groaned and nodded. “God, yeah. There was so much….death. I mean, I thought I knew it was going to be bad but I never thought it was this bad.”

Hongjoong sighed, backing up to get the cookies out of the oven. “I have a question,” he said, his voice strained as he reached into the heat. 

“Shoot.”

He set the tray down onto the stove, turning off the oven. 

“Are you happy?”

His words made you raise your head, meeting his worry-filled gaze. You always hated the way he looked at you, it wasn't in the way you wanted. He always seemed so worried—like he was pitying you. He knew your whole life story, from how you were only raised by a grandmother that lived her life for you, to how you deal with the anxiety that breaks through you like a sickness. It hinders you to the point where you hide it from others, but joong—he knows everything.

You smiled at him, hiding your true colors because he always seemed to break down your walls. In truth, you were feeling anxiety all day—maybe it was the woman who reminded you of your grandmother today. The same woman you witnessed flatline with her granddaughter gripping her pale hand. You watched the young girl’s tears smack onto the linoleum, your heart aching and letting your own tears well up.

Your grandmother was all you had. Your parents passed away in a car accident together, the world taking them both away from you in the same night. You witnessed it from the backseat, the cracks of the windshield and the dark, pooling blood you wished wasn't your parents. It was some sort of miracle that you survived unscathed, but in your sweet grandmother’s words, you were an angel.

You didn't believe in any of that religious shit now, but maybe it was due to all your ups and downs. You didn't need to have some godly figure in your life to know that you were damned no matter what. So you lived your life in fits of anxiety and happiness, all swarming around you. Your anxiety made you believe that you didn't deserve that happiness, and the happiness made you believe you didn't deserve the anxiety.

And hongjoong? He was your happiness.

You sighed, remembering that he asked you a question long before your mind started wandering. You smiled, a real smile, right at him. “Yes, if you're here with me, I'm happy.”

He scoffed playfully, still directly across from you. The only thing in your way was the kitchen table, creating some sort of barrier with your feelings. You could just…walk around it and enter his world, touch his face, run your hands through his hair…

“Well I’m just checking up on my y/n,” he smiled, that beautiful smile of his. He pushed up his sleeves, and turned away from you to pick up a cookie off the tray. “Come here.”

You obeyed like a well-trained dog, making your way past that invisible barrier. He stood close to you, his eyes bright and sparkling as he looked down at you. “Open,” he said, and once again, you obeyed like you owed him your life. 

You opened your mouth for him to give you a bite, his fingertips gliding against the corners of your mouth. You ate the cookie from his hold happily, and when he was going to pull away after it was gone, you suddenly gripped his wrist with your hand.

“What are you—”

“Shh. there's still some chocolate on your fingers,” you teased, looking into his eyes as you licked the tip of his fingers, trying your best to distract your horrible thoughts. Now your focus has moved to tease him, hoping to get a reaction out of him.

Your lips moved down onto his fingers, sucking on them until the taste of chocolate was dull. You shut your eyes, not able to see the look of lust radiating from hongjoong’s glare. It disappeared the moment you met his eyes again, and he let out a chuckle as you pulled back.

“You really like chocolate, huh?” he carried on, his eyes moving back and forth from your eyes to your hand gripping his wrist. His vision was hazy as he pulled out of your grip, moving to distract himself with something—anything. “I thought you preferred my gingerbread cookies?”

You nodded, looking at him up and down. “Yeah, but only around christmas time.”

“Ah,” he gulped, reaching for the small towel that was hanging from the oven door. He wiped his hands hastily, moving away from you towards his little study–converted into a studio. “I gotta go finish my song, alright? Why don't you eat more of the cookies?”

He shut the door of his studio room with aggression, leaving you in a warm, chocolatey kitchen with flour all over the floor. You smiled down at it, making you think about him spilling it and cursing like a sailor. 

You loved him.

—

The week flew by, it was now mid-october. Your favorite season was slowly fading away with a blink of an eye, and you spent most of your autumn days cooped up in the emergency ward or your room, hiding from the sirens. Maybe this isn't for you, but once again—

You were too far in to quit, now. You loved it, you really did. You had that feeling–that ability—to save someone's life the way your parents’ lives could have been spared. You were doing a good thing, you couldn't handle the anxiety for the expense of someone's life.

You found yourself curled up in your cozy blanket in the corner of the couch, hongjoong sitting on the other side. He stared at you—watched your movements. He noticed everything about you, and knew when you were about to have an attack. 

“y/n? Why don't you put on your favorite show?” he asked you, but it was more of a demand. When you stared at him blankly from your curled over position, he sighed and stood up to grab the remote from the coffee table. After turning on some cartoons that you loved, he left the room to grab a glass of water.

When he came back, you were sitting up straight, staring off toward the window, looking at how the raindrops fell. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Just a desperate breath for air. You fisted the blanket in your hands, holding back your shakes. 

Hongjoong sat the cup of water down quickly, making his way over to you with a rush. He sat down next to you and wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. “Come on, angel. It's okay, I promise,” his voice echoed through your mind, your breathing getting unsteady and your hands twitching in your grip for them to stop. The feeling overwhelmed you—it was as if you were dying. His touch only helped a little in the heat of the moment, and he held you tightly as your body shaked.

You gasped for air, the tears of fear rolling down your cheeks. No matter how many times you go through these attacks, each time makes you feel like you wont make it through it. Hongjoong’s facial expression looked pained as he reached for your hands under the blanket, gripping them in his own so you weren't cutting crescents into your palms.

“Let's play the letter game, okay?” his head was still buried in your neck, his voice strong. “An animal. Okay? An animal that starts with A?”

You gulped, tearing into the skin of his hand with your nails. “A…animal?”

He chuckled, nodding. “Yes angel, an animal. What animal starts with the letter A?”

“Uh,” you breathed, the tears now staining his shirt. “A-ant eater?”

He pulled away from your neck, his free hand running down your cheek to catch the tears. “Good job. B?”

You took a second, panicking when you couldn't think of something. Hongjoong ran a hand through your hair as you shook, holding onto you tightly. “It's okay, I'll help you. Bear? Buffalo? You like buffalo sauce, right? You like the spice.”

You nodded, smiling at his efforts. He did this with such love in his eyes that you could have sworn he was in love with you. That he cared for you this deeply.

He smiled, brightening up your heart. “Good, good. Now C?”

“Cat.” 

“Wonderful,” he cooed, running a hand down your arm. He carried on through the alphabet, until he reached H.

“Hongjoong,” you smiled, finally feeling a bit more like yourself and not some mummy locked in its own body.

He laughed melodically, causing your smile to brighten even more. “I’m not an animal,” he teased, pulling you to his chest and running a hand down your back. “Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, your hand tremors dying down. Hongjoong didn't let go of your hand yet, still holding onto you as tight as he could.

“I just want to take it all away,” he whispered softly, his lips near your ear. Little did he know that he did take the pain away. He was the source of your happiness—you needed him.

“You do,” you hummed back raspily, your heart on your sleeve as he kept you close to him. “You do take the pain away.”

He sighed, kissing your temple with such softness, you crumbled in his hold. 

“I don't think it's enough.”

You didn't say anything after that. He did let go of you reluctantly after you said you needed the water, but the minute you finished drinking it, he was back to holding you, his head against yours as silence enveloped you both in the darkness of the room.

You were certain friends don't kiss each other like that.

—

The next week of October came—the week before halloween.  This time, you felt better than last week. The constant presence of dressing up as something this year was heavy on your chest, knowing your colleagues have invited you to a party. You have yet to ask hongjoong to join you, as you wouldn't dare show your face alone. 

You took a day off on the first day of the week, hongjoong sick as a dog and your heart aching for him.

You brewed some hot tea and fixed him up a bowl of his favorite soup, caring for him the same way he catered to you. The thing was that he denied it most of the time, leaving you standing alone with your heart in your hands, ready to give it to him.

You set the bowl of soup on a tray you normally used as decor, spilling it slightly that the wood of the tray darkened. You rolled your eyes at your clumsiness, and then set the mug of tea on the stained wood.

Making your way up the thin, creaky townhouse stairs, you reached his room at the end of the hallway. He left the door open a crack, inviting you in at any given moment. So you entered the sunlit room, his curtains pulled back and his head hidden under the duvet. All you could see of him was his little wave of orange hair and a foot peeking from the cover.

“Joongie,” you cooed, cautiously entering his abode with nervousness. You knew him for ages, took care of him for ages, but everytime you got close to him, you felt your chest get heavy. Almost as if something was pushing you down. “Are you awake?”

He groaned something inaudible, tossing around in the bed until half of his body was out of the covers. He was shirtless, his smooth, slightly toned stomach glistening with sweat. You sighed, collecting your dirty thoughts.

You set the tray down on his nightstand, pushing aside the cough medicine and dirty tissues you would clean up after. Little pumpkin was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching your every move. 

“I have dinner for you,” you hummed, reaching over to him, but pausing at his unclothed body. It was as if you were a feral animal—you wanted to devour him.

You ignored the instinct and pulled up the covers.

“What is it? I’m not hungry,” he groaned groggily, his eyes barely opening. He let out a cough, and it made you want to take his sickness away. 

“You need to eat, you haven't eaten all day.”

He sighed, pushing himself up on the bed, revealing his body after you concealed it. He leaned up against his headboard, sniffling. His eyes were sunken in and his lips were pale, but you still thought he was the most beautiful being in the world.

You wanted to kiss away his chapped lips.

“Soup?” he said raspily, looking over at his night stand. He went to reach for it, but nearly spilled the tray.

You grabbed the bowl, and went to sit on the edge of the bed, next to his sweating frame. He definitely still had a fever. “Here, take it while I take your temp.”

He grabbed the soup out of your hold, his warm fingers brushing against yours. He didn't hesitate when you leaned over him, but you heard his breaths get shallow when you brushed away the hairs off his face to place your hand on his forehead.  “Stay away from me,” he blinked at you, and even though his words seemed harsh, it was all out of love. “You’ll get sick. I don't want you to get sick.”

“I’d rather be sick than watch you suffer,” you smiled at him, your eyes lingering on his chapped lips for a moment too long. “You look better than you did this morning.”

He swallowed a spoonful of the soup, shutting his eyes tight as the warm liquid coated his sore throat. 

“Thank you,” he said. It was only an acknowledgement in words, but his eyes pierced through yours as you sat inches away from him. He meant it, but you were too involved to read between the lines of his breaths.

He breathed for you.

You stood up to leave him peace, but your breath hitched as his warm hand reached your thigh, causing you to look down at it cautiously. 

“Don't—” he paused, lifting his grip and moving to set down the bowl of soup. “Don't go.”

You didn't let the smile creep up onto your lips. “I thought you didn't want me to get sick?” you instigated, but nonetheless moved further onto the bed, holding onto his overheating frame with all the love in the world. 

“I don't, but I want to be selfish today,” he coughed, nuzzling his head into you. His lips were pressed to your neck, sending chills down your spine. Your fingertips caressed his bare skin, hoping to take away his sickness. 

You held him until the sun went down, thinking that was enough for him.

Feeling as though he was sleeping, you tried to pull yourself out of his grip, to which he pulled you to him even tighter. Now your faces were an inch apart as you both lied on the bed, his hot breaths tickling your lips.

“Where are you going?” he asked you.

“Nowhere,” you smiled, looking into his tired eyes. You leaned forward, resting your head against his. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed in contentment, letting out a breath as his arms tightened around you. He didn't speak—he just looked at you with hearts in his eyes. 

“Don't leave me,” he whispered.

You ran a hand through his messy hair. “I won't, I won't.”

He fell asleep in your arms, all while your mind kept you up the whole night. You knew this isn't what normal friends do—but this is how you were together, which was normal for you.

You got sick the day after.

—

On the third day of the week before halloween, you both were finally feeling better. He seemed back to normal, but you still had a slight sore throat that made you not want to eat. Hongjoong insisted the same way you made him eat the soup, and he cooked up your favorite pasta meal.

“You need to eat,” he muttered, using tongs to place a scoop of pasta onto a plate. You sat across from him at the table, your head in your hands.

“I have a splitting headache,” you groaned, lifting your head up to catch the glimmer in hongjoong's caring glance.

He handed you the full plate, your nose filled with the delicious scent. “I’ll get you some medicine.”

“I’m fine, joongie,” you mumbled with a rasp, twirling your pasta around in your fork, but not lifting it up into your mouth. You stared at the thin noodles that dangled from the metal, distracted as the sauce splattered onto the plate. Hongjoong watched you, an eyebrow raised and his lip curled up.

He sat down across from you. “I uh…is there a hair in it or something?” he asked you, but a joking smile dawned on his face. “If there is, still eat it. I won't do take-backs.”

“Awe, how kind,” you chuckled, finally lifting the fork up to eat the delicious pasta. You closed your eyes as the taste filled your senses, opening them to see the look Hongjoong was giving you.

“You look pretty today,” he acknowledged, his eyes dancing around your features. He blinked at you, waiting for you to brush it off.

Boom boom.

Your heart picked up its pace. “Don't lie, joong. It doesn't suit you.”

He rolled his eyes, resting his head in his hands as he stared at you. Your phone buzzed with a text message from your work friend, which reminded you about something that happened earlier during the day.

“Oh,” you muttered with a mouthful of food. “Some guy asked for my number today,” you took another bite.

Hongjoong tilted his head at you, and then moved his gaze to his own plate of food, grabbing his fork to stab the noodles. “Oh really?”

You nodded, swallowing the food as he glared down at his own. “Yeah. he was cute. What was his name….uh, yun..yunho? Super tall, let me tell you. It was like staring up at a skyscraper—”

Hongjoong interrupted you with a loud scoff, accidentally screeching his fork against the plate. “Did you give him your number, though?” he asked you, acting as if you didn't.

You studied him for a moment, feeling confused. He seemed to care more than he should. You honestly gave the cute skyscraper your number, but you didn't have a thought in your mind about actually texting him back. 

You shrugged, playing with him a little bit. “Yeah, I did,” is all you said, smiling to yourself. You were sure hongjoong thought you were smiling about yunho, when in reality you were smiling for him. “He was too cute to reject.”

At that, Hongjoong’s fork clanked onto the plate, causing you to jump and look at him. He looked mad—too mad. You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling like you hit a nerve.

“Joong? What's wrong?”

He laughed devilishly, his eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly open. “So what? Are you gonna go on a date with him or something?”

You knew you were pushing his buttons a little too far, but you furrowed your brows at his unusual behavior.

You leaned forward, setting your own fork down. “Hey,” you narrowed your gaze while he practically had smoke coming out of his ears. “Are you jealous? Should I not date him?”

He blinked at you, and looked down at your lips for a second.

 “No.” is all he said.

“He seems like a good fuck. Should just fuck him silly instead and—”

“y/n I swear to god,” he groaned, running a hand through his hair aggressively. “I, uh. Fuck,” he hissed, unable to look at you. “Thanks for the image.”

You frowned jokingly. “Ah, I see. You were visualizing me getting fucked?” you smirked, knowing you were taking it way too far. “Do you want to watch? Or join?”

You reached your  arm out, sensually touching his fisted hand. You ran your fingertips in circles around his hand, a smirk on your lips. 

He pulled back and stood up abruptly, causing the chair to squeak against the floor. “I-i have to go—I mean, I have a song to write…I uh…” he coughed, glancing at you for one minute and then storming out of the room, leaving you all alone with cold pasta and a frown on your face.

He didn't show his face to you that whole night.

—

Two days later; it was a friday. You had to go to campus early in the morning to listen to a required lecture, which ended up by you sitting next to hongjoong on the commuter bus.

He sat stiffly, his knee bumping into yours occasionally whenever the bus hit a pothole. You couldn't lie, you wanted him to stay touching you.

Ever since two nights ago when you brought up fucking someone and having him watch, he acted distant with you. You felt bad, hoping you didn't make him too uncomfortable with an image he probably never wanted to see in the first place.

Joong leaned against the cold bus window, looking out at the leaves that matched his hair. In his ears sat wired earbuds, attached to the jack of his phone. You leaned your shoulder into him, looking down at his hands in his lap.

No words were spoken. He lifted his head to look over at you, and after a moment, he sighed, and handed you the earbud closest to you. 

“Here,” he hummed, barely audible. 

You took it wordlessly, putting it in your ear to hear the soft strum of a guitar. You didn't recognize the song, but you felt the emotion fill through the little speaker, breaking through your heart. You always loved how he would share his favorite things with you, even if he was upset with you.

“I’m sorry, joongie,” you sighed, resting your head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything; maybe he was waiting for you to continue. “I shouldn't have said those things the other day.”

He mumbled something you couldn't decipher, but then nodded shortly. “It's not something to apologize for. I’m sorry I ignored you the whole night.”

You looked at his hands. He was rubbing his knuckles anxiously, so you reached out to hold them. He jumped slightly, and you gave him a side eye. 

He eventually settled with your hands on top of his, and your head against his shoulder. You listened to his whole playlist—and his heartbeat—until you had to leave.

—

The same night, you brought up the halloween party.

“I need you to come with me,” you said, your eyes pleading.

He sat next to you on the couch, pumpkin sleeping adorably in his criss-crossed lap. “Why don't you take the skyscraper?” he said blatantly, his expression unreadable. He held a bottle of soju in one of his hands and had the tv remote in the other.

Was he actually jealous? At this point, he hasn't been himself since you told him about Yunho, who you didn't even know his last name. 

You looked over at him, as he was paying strict attention to finding a movie. You began to overthink like you always do, convincing yourself that Hongjoong doesn't want anything to do with you. 

“Do you still want to be friends with me?” you ignored his question about yunho, now feeling a bit unstable.

He noticed the shake in your voice, and sat up straight. He finally looked over at you, his eyes softening. 

“y/n,” he sighed, setting the remote down. “Of course I do. Don't worry about me leaving you.”

Your gaze shot right through him. “But…you just seem off. Ever since I joked about….you know,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “It's something you probably had no intention of visualizing, so I feel bad—”

“No, uh,” he gulped, looking anywhere but you. “It wasn't that…”

You raised your eyebrows. “Huh? Really? What was it then?”

He looked deep in thought—and a little nervous. You wanted the words that came out of his mouth to be a love confession, something straight out of a movie. You knew it wasn't going to turn out that way, but you couldn't stop your heart from beating out of your chest.

“I just,” he paused, afraid to look over at you. “I just worry about you. I want the best for you.”

Ouch, that wasn't a confession.

Come on, hongjoong. How hard is it to say, “Oh, y/n, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I met you?”

You hid your dissatisfaction with a smile. “I can hold my own, joongie. I may be the most anxious person alive, but I can still meet guys.”

“I know you're capable, it's not you,” he admitted, looking a bit embarrassed as he shook the bottle of soju. “It's them. The guys. You deserve the world and I don't know what I would do if a guy took it all away.”

You sat and stared as he finally picked a movie—the nightmare before christmas. It wasn't your favorite, but something about it reminded you of Hongjoong. After it started playing, he tossed the remote onto the coffee table.

“I appreciate that you care,” you told him softly, looking down at your hands in your lap. “But you don't have to worry about guys.”

You sat in silence for a little, your heartbeat finally slowing down. He scooted closer and closer to you until pumpkin jumped out of his lap angrily. He saw that as an excuse to stand up and finally plop down next to you, his shoulder brushing yours. 

“You’re special to me, y/n,” is all he said as he rested his head on your shoulder, cuddling up to you under the warm, cozy blanket.

—

Tonight was the party. You were rooting through your closet, tossing things at hongjoong, who sat on your bed among the pile of clothes.

“We're being pirates, right? I’m sorry, but I doubt you have pirate shit in that closet of yours.” He teased, lifting up a shirt from the pile to fold it. 

Maybe you should have planned this better.

“I have to have my corset in here somewhere,” you ignored him, knowing you were just going to toss on a slutty ass dress and put the corset on over it. “Hongjoong come here, will you?”

You heard him let out an ungodly sigh as he stomped over to you, kneeling right next to you.  “What am I supposed to wear?”

“Hongjoong you literally have every possible article of clothing in your closet.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Shush.”

He stayed quiet then, and after a moment, he started to root with you. After a bunch of irritated sighs and groans, hongjoong found your corset. 

“This?” he raised an eyebrow playfully. You reached out to grab it, only for him to stand up and back away from you. “Come and get it.”

“We don't have time for this, joong,” you groaned, but still stood up and followed him. He was cackling as you tried to jump for it, standing on his tip-toes as if he thought of himself as a giant. You moved forward, lunging at him with full force, which sent you tumbling down onto the smooth comforter of your bed.

You landed on top of him, his warmth radiating through you. Your hips met his hips, and something stirred inside of you. His lips were inches from yours, his hands over his head and his eyes wide.

You felt more of him than you should, but you didn't want to move. You wanted to invade his space forever—if it were a job, you’d  be a professional.

He didn't say anything—he looked up through the sea of your hair, his gaze resting on your lips. He frowned, and you wondered what he was thinking.

You wanted to reach out to him. To hold him right here, forever. You wanted him to be yours and only yours.

You studied the shapes of his face, similar to how an artist evaluates their subject. He had to be sculpted by a god or something, with the way his lips curve just right, and with the compelling wonder that swirled in his eyes.

Before it got too weird, you pushed yourself up despite the ache to become one with him, and you ripped the corset out of his hands. “Thanks,” you coughed, and he still didn't move from his position on the bed.

He stared up at the ceiling—the ceiling you decorated with those tacky glow in the dark stars. The room was dimly lit from the warm-toned lamp that sat on your dresser, right next to your pile of anatomy textbooks.

You both listened to silence for a while, Hongjoong now sitting up after a few long moments. You found the dress you wanted to wear, and gave him a look.

“I’m gonna change, so if you want to see every part of me, you're welcome to stay.” you muttered, your fingertips on the waistband of your leggings. He looked at your hands, his eyes growing darker.

He raked his eyes all over your clothed body. You wondered about what he was thinking—did he want to rip the clothes off of you? Did he want to stay and watch?

Your curiosity ended when he stood up slowly. “Come help me with my outfit then. After you change, of course.”

A small fraction of your heart caved in as the door shut behind him, but the ache for him remained standing.

You slid off your clothes, wishing your hands were his.

—

You waltzed into the party, which was at your colleague, yeosang’s place. He was born with old money, and it showed through the exquisite taste of his home. He was nowhere to be found though—which was normal. He wasn't exactly sociable. The one who took it by the wheel was his best friend wooyoung, who seemed like he would embody a party.

“I didn't pregame enough,” Hongjoong gulped as he stared at the strangers around the home, some guzzling alcohol from bongs and others simply conversing with each other. On the other hand, there were a bunch of people blowing big puffs of hazy marijuana smoke, and others snorting shit that you never touched before.

Joong shivered. “Aren't you guys like…medical students?” He raised an eyebrow, his one eye covered with an eye patch and his other one wide. “You have to know that snorting cocaine is not beneficial to your health.”

You slapped his shoulder, feeling out of this world already. Maybe you shouldn't have slammed those shots. “Whatever. Lets go get fucked up so i don't have to remember this tomorrow,” you wrapped your arm in his, pulling him into the grand kitchen that had a chandelier dangling from the vaulted ceiling.

“I think you’re blown out enough, to be honest.”

You reached in the cooler to grab a bottle of some sort of alcohol you didn't recognize. “I’m guessing this shit is like millions of dollars,” you shrugged, handing it off to the pirate you called hongjoong. 

He looked fine as hell in his own corset, brown leather wrapping around that thin waist of his. He had on a half-unbuttoned white button down, pulled up at the elbows. His pants were tight, leaving your mind wandering back to earlier when your hips bucked against his. His rusty hair was hidden under a bandana that matched your dress, with flakes of greens and dustings of gold.

“y/n? Hello?” he snapped his fingers in front of your face, his one eye piercing into yours. “You zoned out for a minute.”

“Ah, oh sorry,” you sighed, looking down at your own outfit. Your dress was flowy, but only reached about mid-thigh, showing leg and tits at the same time. Your legs were covered in fishnets, and you noticed many partygoers staring at them. 

You reached into the cooler to grab yourself a drink, guzzling it like water. Hongjoong watched, and then did the same. You both pulled away at the same time, expressions matching like twins as you scrunched your eyebrows.

“Thats strong as fuck,” he hissed, but still drank the rest of the bottle since thats what you were doing. His eyes locked on you as you finished the last drop, and you reached for another. “Yo, slow down. You downed like five shots of vodka earlier.”

You rolled your eyes, finally feeling like yourself. You loved the feeling of being drunk—you felt like you could finally be the person you were under the surface. The person without anxiety. The person who didn't have to hide how to feel.

“You know,” you hummed, setting down the second bottle onto the gold counter. You approached him, your hands finding the collar of his unbuttoned shirt. You watched him swallow hard, his Adam's apple bobbing—you wanted to lick it. “Did I ever tell you how hot you are?”

Hongjoong’s eyes—eye— widened at your words, and set his hands on your elbows to pull you off of him. “You’re obliterated and we weren't even here for five minutes.”

“I’m not,” you rolled your eyes, pulling out of his grip and grabbing his arms now.

He didn't even get to say what he wanted to say as the skyscraper himself came up to you, bending his head down slightly to see if it was you. 

“y/n?” His tone of voice was smooth and cool, your name rolling off his tongue with ease.

“Oh!” you exclaimed, moving your attention away from hongjoong. “Skyscraper!” 

He laughed, looking from you to hongjoong with a confused glance. “She must be drunk, she’s usually quiet at work,” yunho said to hongjoong, not expecting the glare of death to radiate from his single eye.

“Oh no, she’s loud and obnoxious at home,” Hongjoong growled, reaching out to steady you. 

The tall vampire tilted his head at the pirate, a smirk on those full lips. “Home?” he inquired, looking at you with that same smirk. You glanced up at him with a smile, not purposely ignoring your roommate. You were just a teensy bit drunk—call it tipsy—and you were fascinated with the red contacts in Yunho's eyes.

“Did you change your eye color?” you asked him in all seriousness, looking over at the cooler filled with alcohol with longingness. Hongjoong scoffed at your words, and couldn't stop you as you reached out to touch Yunho's face, which remained in a smirk as your fingertips brushed against his skin. “Even your skin is sparkly.”

“You never answered me,” he hummed lowly, hongjoong feeling like the third wheel now. The vampire leaned down towards your face, a lustful smile on his lips. “About that date?”

Hongjoong had enough. He muttered a goodbye, but you weren't able to hear it.

“Hmmm��” you clicked your tongue, tapping your chin slowly. “I’m sorry, count dracula. I have someone in my heart already,” you proudly proclaimed.

He smiled despite the rejection, his white teeth bright under the dim lighting. “I’m guessing it’s that one-eyed pirate, hm?” he asked, but he knew the answer.

“Yep. even though he’s a little bitch sometimes,” you bowed to him then, lifting your gaze to meet his red eyes. “Sorry again.”

He nodded with a smirk. “Well your pirate just ran off somewhere, so you better go find him before he thinks something different.”

You might have been a bit out of it, but you knew enough that yunho was a good sport. He walked away before you could say anything else, leaving you all alone in a sea of people. You recognized some faces, like wooyoung and some guy named yeonjun from the general surgery department who hit on you during a surgical lesson. You surveyed the scene, meeting eyes with some random men who kept looking even when you moved your gaze.

You grabbed another drink from the cooler, flipping the cap off and dumping its contents into your mouth. After the rush of warmth hit your body, you pushed through the bodies of people in search of your person.

“Anyone see another pirate?” you yelled to no one in particular. “He has orange hair and a pretty face. Has one eye and—Oh, he’s kinda short too. Like a little leprechaun.” 

Now you were just blabbing into nothingness as your vision split. You know damn well your alcohol tolerance was scarily low, but you still got yourself fucked up to the point of no coming back.

You weren't sure where you were going, but you found yourself outside now, behind the extravagant mansion. You stood on the patio, shivering from the lack of clothing and cool autumn air.

You looked out towards the yard, intricately covered in plants and flowers. If you were sober, you’d call it a garden. For now, it was just a pile of vegetation.

“Joongie! You yelled loudly, as if he was going to suddenly fly out of the bushes to greet you. There was no one around—not even a bug. “Joong? Pirate king? Captain—”

“You’re too loud,” his sweet voice filled your eardrums, but it sounded dull—like he was irritated. “Why don't you go entertain that vampire?”

“Because…” you drawled out, turning towards him in the ocean of flowers. You stood in the middle of a surreal garden, but it was too dark to see the colors. There was a small lamppost above you, only coloring a quarter of the flowers in your view. “Because I want my pirate.”

His eye studied you for a moment, and then he sighed, leaning up against the post. “Y/n, I—”

“Shh,” you whispered, drunkenly leaning up against him, unable to tear your drunken eyes from his lips. “You have something on your lip,” you hummed, the pads of your fingers brushing against his soft lips. There was nothing there; you just wanted to touch them.

“ah-ah-Okay, I think you got it—”

“ —I want to kiss you,” you whined, crushing your head against his chest. You heard his heart race as you touched him. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

He stiffened underneath you, his arms at his sides as you held onto him. “You're drunk.”

“I know, but I want to kiss you even when I’m sober,” you lifted your head up, frowning when you only saw one eye. You brushed your fingers against the soft skin of his face, gripping onto the eye-patch softly. “And I want to see your pretty eyes.”

He kept quiet and still, letting you lift the eye-patch over his head, your hazy gaze meeting his starstruck one. Your hand didn't leave his face even after the patch was gone, and he just stood there with all the love in the world in his gaze.

You leaned forward, slowly, carefully, and met your lips with his. You gripped his shirt, your knuckles turning white and your eyes shut tight. He finally snaked an arm around your waist, parting your mouth open with his own. He kissed you hungrily, as if he couldn't hold back even if he wanted to. It felt like ecstasy, two worlds colliding. You now felt like you could tell the colors of the flowers—you felt like you could do anything.

And once he gripped the back of your head to deepen the kiss, you woke up drenched in more than sweat, your clothes missing and your hair like a halo around your head.

What the fuck?

—

Was it all a dream? Did you even go to that party? Did you…did you even get to kiss Hongjoong?

You looked under the covers to see the same underwear you put on before the party—paired with the matching bra. You felt drenched to your core, dreaming about something—

“You're awake,” hongjoong gave you a weird glance as he walked into your room to toss you a hoodie of his. “Put this on.”

“Where are my clothes?” you asked with an eyebrow raised. “Did we…”

He stopped in his tracks, looking at you like a deer in headlights. “Did we what? Fuck?” he scoffed, turning away to walk out of your room. “No. and I took your clothes off because you threw up all over them.”

“So, did we actually go to the party?” you barely spoke, gripping the blanket tightly in your hands. “I had this weird dream…”

He swallowed hard and nodded, turning back to you but not meeting your eyes. “Yeah, we went.”

So you blacked out? Or was your dream possibly real?

He left the room then, leaving you all alone in a mess of yourself—and your thoughts.

After a bit of time wallowing in your own self-pity, you managed to leave your comfortable hiding spot you called a room to go downstairs, where hongjoong had a bowl of hangover soup ready for you on the table. He was nowhere to be seen, though, so you assumed he was out doing something or in his little makeshift studio.

Telling yourself it was all a dream so you wouldn't get your hopes up, you plopped down onto the chair to eat. You stared down at the soup, swirling it around with the spoon like you’ve never seen it before, your mind everywhere else but the idea of eating.

Eventually you raised the spoon to your mouth, but the thoughts of hongjoong didn't subside. He was the reason you wanted to keep on living in this god-forsaken world, and you couldn't risk the possibility of ruining your friendship. You decided to not speak of your dream, or even express your feelings, for the sake of keeping him by your side.

After you finished your breakfast, you tip-toed through the creaky floors to peek and see if Joong was in his hideout. As soon as you saw the rush of orange hair, you smiled, and left him alone. Pumpkin was staring at you through the glass window, lying comfortably on the plush carpet he had. 

You walked away then, tossing on your jacket and a pair of shoes, and made your way to the convenience store around the corner. You didn't want to interrupt Hongjoong’s focus just to tell him that you wanted some banana milk.

You left him in peace, not knowing that he was going to worry about where you went.

—

You walked slowly towards your townhouse, watching the leaves land on the sidewalk. Some leaves even left imprints on the pavement, greenish-hues as the remnant of when they once lived. 

Halloween was right around the corner. The party was over. You kissed the love of your life—in a dream, of course. It seemed like the world was moving so fast, as if you had no time to hold on as it moved.

You swung the door open, finding hongjoong in panic mode, his hand in his hair and the other one gripping his phone. 

Your eyes widened. “Joong?” you tilted your head, slipping off your shoes before moving further. “Everything alright?”

He let out a sigh of relief, dropping his hands to his sides. “I didn't know where you went. You didn't answer your phone.”

You frowned, patting the pockets of your hoodie—hongjoongs hoodie. “Oh? I must've forgotten it.”

He scoffed as you walked past him to reach the fridge. You emptied the bag, putting the banana milk into the fridge and pulling out the cheap, single rose the store had at the register.

“You don't know how worried I was,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes in irritation. “You can't just leave without saying anything, I thought you were kidnapped.”

You chuckled softly, smiling to yourself that he cared. The smile began to drop, though, as you began to think it was only platonic—and that's all it will ever be.

You turned around to face him, a forced smile on your face. “Here,” you said, handing him the nearly-dead red rose that had a slightly bent stem. 

He looked down at the token of affection, confusion washing over his features. “A  r-rose?” he stuttered slightly, eyes meeting yours. “For me?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, taking a step closer to him. 

“Why?” he inquired, his eyes searching yours for any type of answer.

You gathered what you wanted to say, swallowing hard. “Because you're my best friend. I never want to lose our friendship.”

You saw his hesitation then. It was as if you said something hurtful, but all you spoke was the truth. He let out a little laugh, and reached out to grab the decaying flower.

His fingers brushed against yours, sending chills down your spine. The minute your skin made contact with his, you replayed the kiss you shared in dreamland, hoping that if you kept thinking about it, it would come true.

“Ah, Best friend…” he smiled—almost sadly—and inspected the rose. “Thank you.”

You sniffed, feeling like you just ruined something. But there was nothing there to begin with. You nodded, and turned on your heels. 

“I uh, I’m going out then,” he spoke up, his hands feeling the petals. 

You stopped, looking down at your bare feet. “Oh really? Where?”

He paused. “With friends.”

You nodded, but didn't turn around. “Have fun.”

He didn't say anything else, and just let you trudge up the stairs. Your heart felt like it was about to crumble, and without reason. Nothing changed, nothing was broken. You said the truth, he told you he was going out. A typical day in your household.

So why did it feel like your world just ended?

—

Days fly by. Hongjoong ended up coming home the next morning that day, and without a word, he locked himself up in his studio.

It was halloween. You felt like it was pointless now, unable to connect to your hongjoong like you never had a connection in the first place. As if you didn't spend every waking moment together. Birthdays, holidays.

You stood in front of your full length mirror, critiquing every single angle of your body. You knew deep down you were beautiful; some days you just saw everything wrong all at once. You stood there, lost, alone, and still thinking of hongjoong like he was living in your mind. 

And one day, you’ll watch hongjoong leave, causing life to lose all its meaning.

You sighed, pulling your jeans up slightly to button them. You slid a t-shirt over your bra, feeling like you waited for this day for nothing. You felt numb—like the anticipation was worth nothing. You slid on a pair of festive socks, finally getting your bare feet off the cold, wooden floors.

It was still early—not even noon. Usually you’d be at work and joong would be at school, but you were both home, locked away in your rooms, acting like you don't exist. Well, you didn't want it to play out this way—you wanted to run into his arms, tell him you love him, and bury him in kisses in the halloween haze.

You had no plans, despite it being the night of the year for you. The party was over, your heart was aching, and you felt like you could crumble to the ground like an old building. It was just one of those days that you didn't feel like yourself—and what better time than the night you're supposed to be anything but true.

After grabbing a hat to keep your ears warm, you waltzed your way down the hallway, only to cause hongjoong to peek out of his doorway. He looked tired. 

“Where are you going?” he asked you softly, his voice scratching your brain just right.

You didn't realize you were picking at your fingers until he looked down at them. You put your hands at your sides, and looked up at him. “To go get candy for the tick-or-treaters tonight,” you hummed as a response, staring into his gaze, getting lost in it for a moment too long. 

He looked at your outfit, his eyes examining you the same way you looked at yourself—however, he wasn't critiquing. He was admiring. No matter what you wore, he looked at you like you were made of gold.

He nodded, tearing his gaze away from your eyes. “Okay.”

You turned around after it felt too awkward, feeling as though something was ruining your relationship. There was no warmth, no comfort. It all happened after you gave him that rose, holding back your feelings like he held back his tears.

Time passed like the world was spinning too fast, and you went on with your day as if it was any other day. 

When you came back from the store, you poured the candy into a cute little serving bowl, stealing a chocolate bar like you were a kid again. A part of your soul ached as you stared down at the bowl, thinking about the days when you were the one grabbing the handfuls and eating too much candy. Back to the time when life was simple. 

Hongjoong was in his studio, and you heard the dull vibrations of his voice. He was singing like he always did, but this time, you wanted him to sing for you.

You ignored it as best as you could and forced yourself to dress up in a slightly more modest pirate outfit, and after the sun began to set, you found yourself sitting outside on your porch alone. Bundled up in a blanket and a mug of hot tea in your hand, you waited patiently for the kids to come around for the candy.

Sirens blared loudly, an ambulance passing the street in front of you. You watched as the bright reds and whites reflected off the windows of the houses around you, and how the wind from it knocked more leaves to fall to their death. 

You watched them crumble to the ground in front of you, small little feet stepping on them as they walked by your home. One little girl came up to you, her little shoes crunching the decaying life underneath them, and you looked up to her from your seated position. 

“Trick or treat?” she asked you, her face covered in paint and her smile as bright as can be.

“Take a handful,” you murmured, forcing a smile onto your pirate persona. She smiled at you and tossed the candy into her bag, and you were too distracted to hear the door open behind you. The only sign was the brightened look on the girl’s face as she looked behind you.

“Another pirate?” she mumbled, dimples showing through her scarecrow face paint. “Is he your boyfriend?”

You hesitated, but shook your head. “Oh, no. He's just my friend.”

Hongjoong forced out a chuckle, and came up to sit next to you. “Happy Halloween,” he smiled, his leg bumping yours. You didn't shy away, but you didn't move any closer.

As the girl left, you sat in silence with hongjoong for what felt like ages. You smelled alcohol on his breath, wearing his mask like normal. You were dying to know his true feelings about everything. You lived with him for years, but yet, he knew everything about you and you knew very little about him.

A few more kids stopped, grabbed some candy, and left. As if the time flew by once again, the bowl was empty, and so was your heart.

“I have to go use the bathroom,” you let him know as you stood up. He looked from you to the empty bowl, but made no effort to come inside with you. 

“Okay,” he nodded, not looking in your direction. You left his presence, needing some air.

You walked towards the bathroom that was past his studio until you noticed the door open. Pumpkin was sitting on a pile of papers, and knowing how finicky your hongjoong was, you quickly entered the sacred grounds to get the cat off the pile. With your luck, you startled pumpkin, causing her to let out a scared yelp and leap off the pile, knocking over all the sheets at once.

You let out a gasp, followed by a groan, as you quickly tried to pick up the papers. That is, until you came across some lyrics of what it looked like a song…

A  song for a lover?

It was titled, halloween, and as your eyes ran across the words on the page, a few stood out. Words like roommate, coffee, watching movies, hugs, dinner, and home. His home was her. His home was with her, his love was for her.

You were his…home? His love?

“Put that down,” Hongjoong growled behind you, but his tone of voice wasn't harsh—it was defeated. “It’s nothing special.”

“I think otherwise, joong,” you murmured softly, still reading the lyrics as they made your heart race. “Is this about…me?”

He came up beside you, his face right next to yours. He ripped the paper out of your hands and held it behind his back as you turned to him. “Yeah,” he breathed, but shook his head. “But it means nothing now, okay? So don't misunderstand—”

“Can you sing it for me?”

He stared at you, wide eyed. You both were in your pirate garb, his one eye covered by the eye-patch. You thought back to your dream of lifting it up, kissing him, holding onto him….

He didn't say much. He just stared for a while, unsure about your motives. Clearly you made it known that he was just a friend to you, but little did he know that you wanted everything under the sun with him.

He sighed, and sat down onto his bench in front of the keyboard. As his painted fingers slid across the keys, he started to sing to the lyrics that were meant for you. He bled through the words, telling the story of you and him, sharing a space, and putting on masks. It was halloween, the song was called halloween, and he sang with all the love in the world to you.

It had to be a dream. There was no way he was sitting in front of you, tipsy, and proclaiming his years-long love for you through a song. It was unreal, and when he stopped singing and turned to you, you saw the concern drip off his face as he looked at your expression.      

He swallowed hard, standing up to face you. “Listen, don't think much of it. Like I said, it’s worthless now and—”

You gripped the back of his head and kissed him, holding him tightly as he stood stoically. After a few moments, you pulled away, leaving his lips a mess of red from your lipstick. “I–I’m sorry. That was a little—”

He took a step forward, like you were his prey. Gripping your arm, he pulled you to him, his lips on yours with no spare of a glance. Your hands found their home in his hair, gently sliding off his eye patch with your fingers. You kissed each other as if it was your last—as if this would only last the night.

You pulled back, resting your forehead on his as his hot breath kissed your features. 

“I…what does this make us?” you gulped, counting his breaths, happy that he was living at the same time as you. “Its…its halloween…we can be, you know,” you got distracted as his gentle hands caressed your arm. “We can be anything.”

He smiled at you, love dripping from his gaze. He kept his hold tight on you, and mumbled his answer into your head. 

“I’ll be whatever you want,” he breathed into you, and you found yourself melting into his hold.            

His lips, his hands, his breath—everything collided. Two became one once again as he kissed you, kissed you so hard that you lost your breath. Your hands meshed within the rust of his hair, your fingertips painted in orange. His tongue met the roof of your mouth the same way your hands gripped at him, repeating his words over and over in your mind.

Whatever you want…

I’ll be whatever you want…

He lifted you up then, holding onto your body tightly to set you onto his desk, knocking off all his music sheets and crumbled up papers. His finger nails pierced against the bare skin of your thighs, his lips now on your neck as you fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.

He let out a moan as your fingers grazed his chest, finally pulling his shirt off his body to admire him. You let out a content sigh, wanting to taste the soju on his lips. Not yet, though, as his hands gripped the corset you were wearing, untying the laces and ripping it off your body, slightly rough but his touch was smooth.

You sat on his desk, ready for him to claim you as his own. Even if it was just for the night, you weren't thinking long term as his strong arms pulled your dress right over your head, leaving you only in your underwear.

“My god, I always wanted to do that,” he groaned, his lips meeting your neck as his hands trailed down your stomach to meet the waistband of your underwear. As his fingers slipped underneath the fabric, you arched your back into his touch.

“You like that, huh?” he whispered in your ear as you looked down at the bulge of his pants, seizing the opportunity to get him flustered. “You turn me the fuck on, you have no idea, y/n.”

Your hands brushed his erection, a sinister smile on hongjoongs pained face. He smacked his head into yours, his teeth bright white as he showed them.  “Careful, baby. I’ve been waiting years to fuck you. I don't want it to end too quick.”

“Years?” you breathed into his lips your head tilted up as his hand found its home and started to slide the underwear down your hips. 

He didn't answer. What he did do was pull them down your legs, and then as soon as they were off, he kneeled down onto the ground in front of you, treating you like a peasant would treat his goddess. His lips met your heat, the warmth from his breath stirring your mind into mush. You gripped his russet hair, fisting it as his tongue slipped inside you. You hissed, throwing your head back as you saw stars.

He worked magic, his lips becoming something you never wanted to lose. Eventually, he found his place above you, his fingers tilting your head back to look up at him. His hands reached out to pull your bra off, giving you a look of affirmation before gently lifting it over your head. 

He stood in front of you, vulnerability showing through like sunlight through a window. He was your sun—your warmth—your love.

No words were spoken after that. You unbuttoned his pants while he kissed your lips, entangled in each other's love and infatuation. He carried you up the steps then, gently setting you down onto his bed, the creak of the mattress springs underneath you. He kissed your forehead, your nose, your temple, your lips, and trailed all the way to your breasts, admiring them like they were all he dreamed about—you were all he dreamed about.

You looked into his stare, his dark brown eyes above yours. You felt the heat of his body, and every breath he took. You wanted to count his breaths every day for the rest of your life until they stopped. You wanted to entangle yourself into his soul, spinning yourself around his finger like the red string of fate.

You wanted to make love to him every night, crawl into his embrace like he was the only human on earth. He was like a warm fireplace on a cold winter day, the fall of snow during spring. And after all, at this moment as your eyes met before he entered you, his lips moved, your senses heightened as he spoke.

“I love you,” he hummed, his eyes sparkling in the dark. You were his source of light.

After those words, he collapsed into you, his hips meeting yours and your lips meshing together. He didn't give you a chance to respond—maybe he was scared of rejection. He had nothing to worry about, and as he made love to you, you ran your hands through his hair to keep it out of his eyes.

You moaned as he rhythmically crashed into you, his lips parted and his arms tightened. You wrapped your legs around his thin waist, his upper body crashing into yours, forehead to forehead, lips to lips, chest to chest, hearts beating the same beat. His hands found your breasts, grabbing them as if they would break under his touch. He trailed his lips down your neck to your chest, kissing you sensually, tastefully, treating you like a work of art. 

Your vision became hazy as you reached your high, and after he noticed your climax, he smiled to himself, letting out a moan. “Good girl,” he praised, and then flipped you over onto your stomach with a groan. You positioned yourself for him, back arched as his fingertips glided against your skin. His hands ran down your sides, his hips meeting your ass as he gripped it with his hands, entering you once again like it was his home.

“I want this every day,” he pushed into you, his breaths hitting the back of your neck, causing you to tumble onto the bed, unable to hold yourself up from his strength. “Every night. For the rest of my life, I want you.”

You wanted to cry out of happiness. You wanted to turn around and tell him you want it too, that you’ve loved him since that one day he held you. He was all you ever wanted; ever needed.

He fucked you, made love to you, as if it was the last time. His body clashed into yours, letting out the most beautiful moans. He was born to be yours, you were born to be his. Your bodies fit like pieces of a puzzle, and as he reached his ending, you gripped onto the pillow underneath you, crying out as he came into you, him spilling his love for you, through words and actions.

He breathed and breathed and breathed, his body collapsing onto yours, afraid to crush you. He pulled out of you slowly, finding his spot next to you on his bed. Your eyes met, then your lips, and then your love.

“I love you, too,” you smiled at him, your eyes blurry as his beauty took over. His hair was stuck to his forehead from all of his sweat, and you reached out to brush it behind his ears.

He was breathing heavily, staring into your eyes like they were the most beautiful color he’s ever seen. To you, it might be bland. To him—they were the only eyes that mattered. The only window he wanted to look through.

His arms snaked over your naked body, his touch feeling like ecstacy. You fell asleep deeply for the first time in ages, his soft voice humming you to sleep as the moon began to fall.

—

The next morning was just like any other. You woke up alone, no Hongjoong in sight, but the warm, delicious smell of breakfast reminded you that it was all real. You looked down, no clothes, no underwear, just you. The sheets were crumbled all messily, your heart feeling just the same.

You smiled after looking around, noticing little things around his room that just made sense. Everything about him made you feel butterflies.

You made your way down the stairs after tossing on one of hongjoong’s shirts, hoping to stir something up with him. It almost feels unreal with the way you proclaimed your love so quickly, and after all this time of hiding your feelings, it was now all out in the open.

The minute you reached the kitchen, you found hongjoong sitting in the chair next to a plate of food meant for you. He sat with his legs crossed and his eyes on you. His pretty hair was messy, and his lips were curled up in a smirk.

You smiled at him shyly.

“Oh no,” he shook his head at you, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked you up and down, smirking even more as he noticed the shirt that covered your upper body. You decided against pants, only coming out in your underwear and his shirt. “Don't go all shy on me after last night. And not when you look like…this.”

You cautiously walked towards him, and the minute you reached him, he tugged you into his lap, holding you with a look of admiration. 

“About last night—”

“If you're going to say it was a mistake, I will politely decline, angel,” he kissed your lips, lingering just a moment too long. It was blissful, despite your morning breath. “I need you. I can't be without you.”

I need you…

Did anyone need you? Was he the first person to actually want you?

You smiled sadly, but his expression made you feel comfortable. “I was just going to say that I enjoyed it,” you hummed, nodding. He chuckled at that, his arms tightening around your waist.

“I’m sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. About my feelings, I mean,” I babbled on, leaning his head onto you. “I got a little jealous with Yunho, and I couldn't stand the idea of you with someone other than me. And when you kissed me at the party, I got worried that you only made a drunken mistake—”

“Wait,” you raised your eyebrows, pulling back to look at him. “I actually kissed you at the party? I thought I dreamt that…” you spoke softly, subconsciously lifting your hand to your lips.

Hongjoong stared up at you for a moment and then smiled. “Ah, yeah. But you were so out of it. You passed out on my shoulder right after you made out with me.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh my god, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, no. It's okay,” he swallowed, looking a bit nervous. “I…want to take care of you when you're drunk, and when you're sick, and when you're depressed. I want to hold you while you have your panic attacks—even though I wish I could take them all away.”

You sat and listened, watching the way his eyes bounced around the room as the food got cold. It wasn't even a thought in your mind as he told you he loved you without even saying the three words.

“I want to go through everything with you. Good, bad, whatever. As long as it's with you,” his eyes met yours then. “And as long as I can kiss you whenever.”

You picked apart his expression—his eyes were glassy and his lips were parted. His smile was a bit worrisome, as if he wasn't sure you wanted what he did. You smiled then, and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’ll be expecting showers of kisses,” you smirked, kissing his lips like they were made for you. “And shower sex. I love shower sex.”

He laughed musically, his voice always so soothing to you. You knew that your time in this house was ending, as this was the last year before graduation. You weren't sure what time had planned for you, but you hoped it was him. 

There’s a time for everything. Your time with hongjoong was predetermined by fate. He was your soulmate if they existed. He was your sun, your moon, your universe. You spun around him like the moon to its earth, orbiting his existence like it was your destiny.

—

two years later,

Halloween Night

You stood on the steps of the townhouse, your phone clutched tight in your hands and a bag of candy in the other. Your heart ached the same way your feet did from all your running around at the hospital, your mind falling apart at its seam.

You stared at the red door, decorated with a festive autumnal wreath with the letters of your names. 

You pushed through the door, your senses in overdrive as the smell of apples took over as a candle burned on the table. Sitting next to it was pumpkin, staring at the flame, and then at you, letting out a meow.

It was two years since you got with hongjoong. Two years before you graduated. Two years before you got swamped in work, having a hard time balancing work and romance.

You and hongjoong kept the house, deciding it was your home. You had nowhere else to go if he wasn't with you, and you graduated in love and in bliss.

Two years later, a mess of love and homemade meals, watching movies together, commuting together, sleeping together, you had a ring on your finger, a permanent mark of your love that would last forever.

You weren't planning anything—you let life take the reins. The love of your life stood in the living room, in his hands was a single rose from the mini mart—the same type of shitty rose you bought for him to ruin your relationship. Clearly it failed, as he stood, love in his eyes and a smile on his lips.

“Hi, angel,” he whispered, his hair no longer orange. It was his natural black, grown out and curled around his ears. He was beautiful in every way, a knight in shining armor, holding out a decaying rose as the leaves fell from the trees beyond the window. “Happy two years.”

You scoffed, setting down the bag of candy onto the table next to pumpkin. “A rose?”

“Mhm,” he murmured, smiling brightly. 

“Why?” you inquired jokingly, walking closer to him.

He smiled prettily, his heart upon his sleeve. You watched him study you, look at every part of you. He loved you dearly, and as did you. You got a bit of butterflies from the deja vu, lost in the ocean of his eyes and drowning in the sea of his love.

He held out the rose.

“Because you're the love of my life.”

[mingkiyoo]

maybe this time (j.yh)

summary ⇢ after weeks of not seeing yunho since you asked for a break, you meet him again at your best friend mingi’s birthday celebration. after a few drinks, you find yourself sitting in his car in an empty parking lot at midnight and he’s kissing the pain away.

pairings ⇢ yunho x reader

genre ⇢ established relationship, non idol au, angst, suggestive, smut, light fluff

warnings ⇢ boyfriend!yunho, fem!reader, drinking, yunho has bad boy vibes, mutual pining, big dick!yunho, size kink, fingering, semi rough unprotected sex, romantic car sex, makeup sex, public sex // please let me know if i missed anything!

note ⇢ 18+ content, minors DNI. // happy birthday mingi though i'm posting late! thank you so so much for loving my first ever fic about time! this might feel a little bit rushed but i hope it's still okay. i just really needed to get it out of my brain. also - i'm so soft for yunho not wanting to lose y/n >///< please like and reblog if you love it <3

word count ⇢ 3.7K

-

“Can you drive?”

You hear your boyfriend, Yunho, ask through the phone. You turn your gaze to where his car is parked, just an empty spot separating yours from his. He rolls the window down on the driver’s side, and you instinctively do the same but on the passenger’s side. You lock eyes for a moment before you answer him, “No. But I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.”

It’s close to midnight. You’re currently sitting in your car at the parking lot beside the restaurant where your childhood best friend, Mingi, had his birthday celebration. His other friend, Wooyoung, owns the restaurant so after business hours were over, everyone just gathered around the bar for unlimited drinks. He personally cooked for everyone once the kitchen staff left so there’s something for everyone to snack on if interested.

Everyone already drove off, leaving just you and Yunho at the parking lot.

Yunho is your best friend Mingi’s other best friend. The story about how you met and fell in love started in college when you had to drop off some notes for Mingi from a class you had together because you heard that he was sick and that was why he was missing his classes only to find him huddled over a game controller along with Yunho.

Mingi was struggling with his classes. It didn’t help that a particular professor was giving him a hard time, driving him to almost drop the class. He probably would have if he didn’t meet Yunho. Mingi just needed to take a step back, take a short break so he can have a more solid approach to knocking out his requirements without feeling overwhelmed. And you’re thankful that Yunho was there to help ground him and be his comfort when you couldn’t be there for him.

Yunho—oh boy. He looked like your next big mistake. He has a sweet face with a bad boy aura that spells every bit of trouble and is the perfect combination to breaking your heart. You should have run in the opposite direction, as fast as you could but still, even now—you’re drawn to him like a moth to the flame. When he’s around, all reason goes out the window. That’s why, a few weeks ago, you asked for a break. It’s been a long time coming. You’re not sure when it started, but you found yourself and Yunho bickering over the smallest things lately, and it’s getting exhausting. You fight, have hot sex, and makeup then do it all over again. You’re hoping that the time away from him will help you assess if the relationship is worth saving without his presence clouding your judgments.

No amount of pep talk prepared you for when you finally saw him for the first time in weeks. Regardless of the issues you have in your relationship, you can’t deny the fact that you miss him. The knot in your stomach is enough proof that you still care for him. You still love him.

No amount of pep talk prepared you for when you finally saw him for the first time in weeks. Regardless of the issues you have in your relationship, you can’t deny the fact that you miss him. The knot in your stomach is enough proof that you still care for him. You still love him.

He’s busy talking to Mingi and Wooyoung at the bar while you chat with the other guests. Occasionally, you lock eyes with Yunho. He has a serious look on his face, one hand swirling the whiskey within the glass before bringing it back to his lips for a sip. You feel hot just from the way he stares at you from across the room.

“Talk to him,” you turn around to see Mingi whispering down to your ear. He’s the only one who knows, of course. Nothing escapes Mingi.

“About what?” you ask.

“You know what,” he answers, his eyes roam over your features as if he’s looking for a particular reaction.

“I prefer not to,” you tell him casually, not meeting his eyes and you hear him sigh before he leaves your side to go back to the bar.

Yunho tilts his head towards the passenger side as if inviting you over. You hesitate for a moment before getting out of your car and into his.

Silence filled the air. There’s no one else in the parking lot except the two of you. All you can hear is the noise of cars driving by the nearby roads and the faint music playing on his radio.

Your stomach flips at the familiar scent of his car and of his cologne. Your heart is beating so fast it’s almost hard to breathe and you close your eyes. Alcohol usually has that effect on you but tonight, you’re unsure. It could just be because you’re sitting next to Yunho and you’re trying so hard not to throw yourself at him. He’s wearing a black dress shirt, the fabric snuggly hugging his broad form, the sleeves rolled up around his elbows. A couple of buttons were undone, and you notice the silver chain hanging around his neck. He paired it with black slim trousers, tapered around his thigh accentuating his muscles. There is no other word to describe him—he’s gorgeous.

He’s always been gorgeous. But especially tonight.

“You, okay?” Yunho asks, he seems to notice your breathing.

“Yeah,” you answer, taking in a deep breath, eyes still closed. “Just can’t breathe… too much alcohol, I think.”

“Yeah,” he says, a hint of humor in his tone and you can’t help but think that maybe he’s making fun of you right now. You open your eyes to see him looking over you, a suppressed smile on his lips. “Two tall glasses of Mai Tais are usually your limit,” he chuckles this time, one arm resting on the steering wheel while he continuously rubs a finger back and forth across his bottom lip and you can’t help but stare at him, at those lips.

“I hate you,” you growl as you gently shake your head, hoping it will help get the thoughts of kissing his heart-shaped lips and sucking on his long and beautiful fingers out of your head.

“You don’t mean that,” he says in a small voice, his lips in a straight line, his expression is serious now. He opens a water bottle and takes a big sip before offering it to you. You hesitate for a moment before taking the water bottle from his hand and placing your own to where his lips were just now.

You place the bottle in the empty cupholder. You fix your gaze forwards avoiding his. “How have you been?” he finally asks, and you can’t help the lump that forms in your throat. You know he’s just making small talk because he probably feels awkward having you in his car in an empty parking lot at midnight.

“I- I’m okay,” you answer which came out more like a stutter and you squeeze your eyes shut, praying he doesn’t notice the effect he has on you.

“You?”

A moment of deafening silence before he finally says, “Not good.”

You open your eyes and turn to look at him, a concerned look on your face.

“I miss you,” he sighs, and it breaks your heart because you miss him too—more than you want to admit. You didn’t want to be apart from him, but you always end up fighting whenever you’re together. You didn’t want the space, but you needed it. Otherwise, you just might end up despising each other and you don’t want that. Yunho was your friend first before he was your boyfriend after all. You don’t want to complicate anything since you share the same group of friends, you live in the same neighborhood and Mingi—he surely doesn’t want to see his two best friends hating on each other.

“How much longer do we need to be on this break?” he asks, the bitterness towards the word ‘break’ evident in his voice.

You open your mouth in attempt to respond but you can’t find words. You look down on your fingers, feeling your cheeks heat up in frustration.

“You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” he continues when you don’t answer. His question surprising you, making you look up immediately to meet his intense gaze.

“Is there someone else?” he asks sternly, and his words cut like a knife through you.

“What— No!” you exclaim, shaking your head before burying it in your palms.

Has he ever seen you with another man other than your friends? Have you ever given him any reason to suspect you?

You can’t believe he’s even asking the question. You’re mad, disappointed and frustrated that you can no longer keep your tears from falling.

“This is exactly why we need this break!” you say as you turn in your seat to fully face him, wiping your tears with the back of your hands in annoyance. Why do you always have to cry when you’re angry?

“Aren’t you sick of this?” it’s not a real question. “We always end up fighting every time we’re together. Yunho…” you pause, reconsidering your words, “I love you so much… but I’m tired.” Your voice shaky and barely audible.

All you can hear now is the sound of your own heart breaking. You feel stuffy suddenly. You need to get away—away from him, from this moment, from this pain. You reach for the car door in an attempt to get out, but Yunho’s large hand grabs your wrist before you can even find the door handle. He pulls you forwards, pinning your wrist against your seat beside your head as his other hand cups the back of your neck, his lips pressing against yours.

His grip on your wrist is firm as if communicating that he doesn’t want to let you go but his lips were gentle on yours. You think about pushing him away for a second, but you can’t. He tastes like whiskey and smells of vanilla, making you lose control. The man who has your heart, who has all of you, kissing you so tenderly breaks your resolve. He slants his lips against yours, deepening the kiss, and you melt into his touch.

He loosens his grip on your wrist. Your hands find their way to cup his face before gliding down to the base of his neck. You longed for his touch for weeks, so you kiss him back with equal fervor determined to get your fill.

You don’t break the kiss until you’re both breathless. Yunho presses his forehead against yours. His large hands still cupping the sides of your face and you place a soft kiss on his palm, your smalls hands holding onto his wrists.

Yunho bites his lower lip. He looks out in the vast empty parking lot, seemingly searching for the right words to say.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he turns to face you again, his large hands never leaving your skin, his thumb swiping away any remnants of tears that trailed down your cheeks. “I just…” he pauses, and you notice him wince as if he’s in pain, but he looks into your eyes before he continues, “I can’t lose you. I don’t want to.”

“Me neither,” you admit in a small voice, your tears threatening to spill over once again.

“We can fix this, right?” he asks, his eyes studying you. “We’ll make it work.”

You close your eyes as you nod your head again and again in response until you feel his lips brush against yours again and he kisses you with more hunger this time. His hand reaching behind the small of your back to pull you closer while the other cups the side of your face.

“Fuck,” he moans into your mouth, “I’m sorry but I’ve missed you so much.” He says as one hand reaches down for the hem of your dress, lifting it up. His long fingers find your aching heat and he starts to rub across your swollen clit. You can feel the warmth of his fingertips through the thin fabric, making you gasp.

“Hmm, you’re so wet. Is this all for me?” he teases.

“Yunho,” the sound that leaves you is breathy and desperate. Desperate to feel him, all of him, everywhere. His fingers start to move in circles against your sensitive spot building up the intoxicating pleasure in your core.

He breaks the kiss for a moment, his gaze holding yours steady. “I’m not letting you go… You hear me?” he asks but doesn’t wait for your response as his lips start to move down to your chin and along your jaw before landing on your neck, nibbling and kissing on your pulse points.

“You’re mine,”he breathes against your skin, his words making your heart jump. You love it when he’s being territorial.

“I’m yours,”

He yanks your panties to the side, too impatient to even take them off you and he pushes a finger into you, curling up to reach your pleasure spot and you whimper. You place one hand to rest on his back, gripping the fabric of his shirt as he continues to work you over, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. You feel him push another finger into you and the delicious stretch sends waves of heat straight to your core. Pressure builds in your belly as his fingers start to pick up speed, the rough pace he’s set is dizzying.

“Yunho!” a suppressed moan leaving your lips, legs shaking as you come apart on his fingers. “There you go.” Yunho whispers, one side of his lips upturned as if satisfied with what he’s done.

As you come down from your high, you remember you’re out in public. You straighten up against your seat almost immediately and you look around, worried that someone may have shown up at the parking lot.

Yunho notices your anxious expression. “There’s no one here…” he chuckles softly, “but you may still want to keep it down. Just in case.” He smiles and he pulls you in for another kiss and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Both of you are growing more and more desperate for each other with each passing moment.

“Forget it!” he exclaims before pressing his forehead against yours, his large hands roaming your body before they find your ass, squeezing tightly causing your hips to roll forwards in his impatience.

“I can’t wait to have you,” he breathes through his teeth. “I’ve missed this for weeks.” He leans slightly back to look into your eyes. “I’m fucking you in this car if I have to.” His lips close in on yours one more time, his teeth gently tug on your bottom lip before he opens the door to his side of the car and hurriedly gets out.

You notice him spare a glance in every direction before he finally opens the door to the backseat. He chuckles softly, eyes smiling when he notices you already made your way there without even leaving the car.

“You’re so tiny, you can fit anywhere.” He says, a playful grin on his lips.

He pushes the driver’s seat all the way forward to give room for his long legs before he turns to grab your sides and hoists you up to place you on his lap, your knees straddling his hips.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his hand pushing your silky hair back so he can see your face clearly. “I can’t keep my hands off you.”

You feel your cheeks blush at the compliment. He’s always so sweet like this. He knows exactly where to touch you and what to say to send your heart racing. If you could only bottle up this moment, you would only to pull it out every time it gets rough. Loving him is a double-edged sword. It’s equally blissful and painful and oh, how you wish you can leave out the pain.

His hands glide down your neck before they land where your shoulder meets your arms on both sides, ruffling the puff sleeves of your dress. It’s cinched around the waist and the hem sits just above your knees. “I don’t think I’ve seen this dress before,” he says, giving you a once-over. “Is this new?”

He continues when you nod. “I love it. You should wear it again.” With one swift move, he reaches behind you and unzips your dress, revealing a black strapless bra underneath. He looks up to you, his eyes sparkling with desire. A devilish smile spreads across his lips as he finds the clasp of your bra and he removes it tossing it to the side. The rough pad of his thumb swipes across your nipple, his mouth capturing the other in his mouth, and you throw your head back at the sensation. You slide your hands around his neck, and you grab a fistful of his soft locks, tugging gently. You feel his large hands wrap around your ribs, pulling you closer. Your hips start moving on their own seeking more pleasure in your other parts. He shifts in his seat, and you feel his erection straining against the fabric of his pants. He wants you just as much as you want him.

“Please,” the sound that leaves you is in between a moan and a plea. You reach for the buckle of his belt, and he helps you loosen it, get the button of his pants undone and pull the zipper down to finally free his length of its constraints. He’s painfully hard. He’s big… just as you remember. You reach down to hold him, your small hands barely covering the entirety of his length and he groans against your skin. “I need you,”

With a quick kiss to your temple, he obliges. He yanks your panties to the side once again and you lift your hips off his lap slightly so he can line himself against your entrance. He grips your sides and guides you down his length until your ass is flush against his hips, the stretch feels new and familiar at the same time, catching you by wonderful surprise.

You start to move your hips on top of him, his hands never leaving your sides, guiding you where he wants you.

“You feel so good, baby.” He breathes underneath you. “Nice and tight and wet for me.” He tangles his hand in your long, beautiful hair as he wraps one arm around your waist to hold you in place. This time, he drives into you, hitting your pleasure spot so perfectly, you can’t help but roll your eyes into your head. You feel so close already. Again.

“Oh fuck!” you hear him grunt and soon, you feel him quickening his pace. He tenses underneath you, but he catches himself just in time. He maneuvers you off him and pushes you gently down to lay on your back. You’re not sure how Yunho’s tall frame fit in the car with you but that’s the least of your worries. You need more of him, so you reach for his sides to tug on his shirt, urging him to fill you up once again… and he does. He pushes your legs up so high over his shoulders, you feel your hips suspended in the air. With one hand against the back of the passenger seat, one hand planted on your side, he sinks back into you—all the way.

“Yunho—” you whimper. “It’s so deep.”

“I know, baby. I can feel you.” A breathy groan slips out of his lips. He closes his eyes as he reaches your pleasure spot once again. “You can take me though, right?” you see him smile but his eyes still dark and hungry. “I know you can.”

You nod. “I want you,” you tell him, you tug on his shirt once again, begging him to move. “I want all of you.”

He starts to move his hips a little eager this time. He’s reaching you so deep, he’s a little worried he might break you. You lift your hips up a little bit higher to meet every snap of his hips, heat pooling in your core and you tighten around him. He knows you’re close. He knows your body so well… so he pounds into you, his pace relentless, leaving both of you a panting mess.

“I love you, y/n.” He hisses through his teeth as his pace falters. His hand cups the back of your neck, pressing your foreheads together and you wrap your legs around his waist. “I love you so much. Come for me.” He groans, punctuating his words with his hips and it sends you spiraling. You let go, body convulsing at the intensity of your release. He’s not far behind. He pistons his hips recklessly into you, chasing his own high and you feel him stiffen and shudder out your name as he empties himself inside you.

Whether it’s the mixed emotions leading up to this moment or the effect of alcohol that made your orgasm the most intense you’ve ever experienced in your entire life, you’re unsure. But you do know it has everything to do with Yunho.

  He plants a soft kiss on your lips before he pulls out and helps you up. He envelops you in a tight hug and you feel his heart beating as fast as yours as you both try to steady your breathing.

“I love you, Yunho.” You manage to whisper despite the shakiness in your voice.

“I love you more, baby.” He says as he leans slightly back to look at your face, pushing your hair away from it. “I’m sorry I couldn’t wait long enough to take you home—”

You hush him, tapping your fingers gently against his broad chest. “It was perfect.” You say, a sweet smile on your face.

He cups your face and starts pressing light kisses on your forehead, on your temples, the tip of your nose, and on either side of your cheeks before he whispers with an endearing smile, “You are.”

Your heart is filled with hope again. Maybe this time—it will be different. You hope that the words spoken between the two of you are not just empty promises and you’ll work on your relationship… together. But you do know that for Yunho, you’re always ready and willing to give your all.

a/n: thank you so much for being here! if you enjoyed this short fic and you're looking for a little bit more fluff and comedy, you might like about time!

[euphoricfilter]

always forever

pairing: jungkook x f.reader

genre: angst || hints of fluff || hurt with minimal comfort ? || non-idol au

summary: you're right there

word count: 2.1k

tags/ warnings: it's just kinda angsty, not exactly a happy ending? but not exactly a sad one, very much open for interpretation, grief, alludes to insanity, and slight slight slight yandere themes towards the end

notes: made the end a little less angsty than originally intended because i too like soft endings :D also got the idea while listening to ‘exit music (for a film)’ by radiohead, that’s kinda the vibes for this

navigation for my masterlists

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.

It will always be a strange phenomenon, how anger will almost always equal shouting. Such a human response to such an ugly human emotion.

Anger is such a raw feeling, bubbling, burning beneath the skin that you need to let it out, release the pressure that rage had built. So many words you had never thought to even say spilling past your teeth before you even know what’s being said. Never enough time to bite down on the bitter tasting filth thrown at someone else. Not a thought behind such horrible language, tearing your heart up, because surely if they’d hurt your fragile emotions then it was only fair you did the same to them?

It had been an accumulation of things leading up to this moment. Jungkook hadn’t realised his patience was wearing so thin to the point his unbridled anger had been directed at you. A bad morning, cold shower, no one to help him at work and too many people complaining when really their issues were never his faut. It had rained and he had no umbrella, and the bus was running late. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast. Just too too too too much for his fragile human brain to handle.

“Why won’t you fucking say something?” it comes from his chest, throat scratching, his own voice ringing inside his head at how loud he’d gotten.

A pitiful mix of desperation and wrath mingled, clawing its way up his throat, digging into his mind, slowly pulling him apart until he doesn’t even recognize his own voice as he shouts at you. Doesn’t even recognise the words as his own.

“One thing I asked you to do, and you couldn’t do it?” a rush of air fills his lungs, burning slightly as he swallows down his growing upset.

He wanted you to shout back, tell him how horrible he is. How terrible of a boyfriend he was calling you names, horrible things that he knew you weren’t because you could never do any wrong in his eyes. Picking you apart of the little things you’re scared of.

The days the both of you had sat down, you handing him your heart on a platter for him to cradle to his chest as he’d told you how he’d always be there. Your secrets, your insecurities, all locked away within a small box, trapped in his heart, protected by his ribcage. Thick layer of skin and muscle and other gross bodily things encasing your hurts and worries. So many things he’d kissed away and locked within himself to help you hold the burden of your hurting.

His words are venomous as he tries to rile you up, anything to get you equally as mad as he was. Logic long gone, tucked away in the far crevices of his mind.

Somewhere beyond him, he doesn’t even remember why he was so upset in the first place, words being thrown around, eyes rage filled as he just watches you sit there.

And then he sees it, something almost like pity painted behind your eyes.

“Say something!” he cries, your face blurring over as tears glaze across his vision.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask him, the first thing you’d said to him since he’d gotten home, the first words he’d really let you have. Having exploded the moment he’d seen you lounging in his room.

He opens his mouth, words almost there before he flinches. Loud knock on the door to his bedroom.

He sees you turn towards the door, your eyes flickering back over towards Jungkook when there’s a second of silence, thick as it coats the room. Lost words thrown around seeping out of the walls now that it was quiet, a silent witness to what had just happened.

“Jungkook?” Jimin calls from the hallway, “Jungkook?” he calls again, palm of his hand smacking against the door, rattling the wood; vibrations shaking the walls.

He hadn’t expected his roommate to be home, shame slithering up his spine as he takes one more look at you before trekking over towards the door. It wasn’t often the both of you argued, let alone with people being there to hear what was happening.

He yanks the door open, anger still fizzling somewhere within him, annoyance coating his tone as he comes face to face with his older friend.

“What?” he almost barks, reeling himself in, chest shaking as he takes in a long breath. Edging himself to take a calmer approach.

Jimin peeks into his room, eyebrows furrowing a little.

“Who are you shouting at? It didn’t sound like you were playing any games, are you okay?” Jimin peers over his shoulder, eyes falling on Jungkook’s computer; switched off, plug pulled from the wall.

Jungkook swallows, “Sorry”

Jimin shakes his head, meeting Jungkook’s eyes.

“It’s fine, I was just a little worried…”

Jungkook looks back at you sat on his desk chair. Your eyes meeting his instantly, though you don’t make a move to open your mouth, eyes telling enough of how you were feeling.

“You don’t need to worry hyung… me and y/n just had a disagreement” he tugs a smile onto his face, evidently forced, though he can only hope Jimin doesn’t point it out.

Jimin’s eyebrows furrow a little deeper, forehead creasing.

“Right, baby?” Jungkook pulls the door open a little more so his roommate can see you. He motions for you to answer, eyebrows raising a little as you keep your mouth shut.

“Jungkook?” Jimin says, tone ever so careful.

Jungkook turns, eyebrows creasing at the concern on his friend’s face.

“What…?” he asks, “We’re really okay, right y/n?” he turns back towards you, desperation growing.

You smile over at him, gentle as he stands there. Eyes locked with your own.

“Come on, don’t be quiet now. Tell him we’re okay” he almost laughs, “We’re always okay, just me and you remember? Forever”

Jimin’s eyes flicker between Jungkook and the empty chair.

“Jungkook…” he presses a hand to his shoulder, tugging his friend towards him, “you haven’t forgotten, right?” he asks, catching sight of his friend’s eyes. Eyes wired and feral as he turns towards him.

“Forgotten what?” he asks, glancing back at where you’re sat. Just as pretty as the day he’d met you. Jungkook’s rage simmering out into confusion as he looks between you and Jimin.

It briefly crosses his mind, how awful he had been to shout at you, just pretty you sat like a dream in his room. And what a piece of shit he’d been to even raise his voice at you, a vow he’d made to never do. One he would spend the rest of his life proving to you that this was one little slip up. That he would never have reason to shout at you again.

He thinks it must be desperation, your silence stretching out for too long. He wanted to hear your voice, for you to tell him it was okay. That the both of you were okay. Just like always. Just like it’s supposed to be.

“I’m sorry” he steps towards you, shrugging Jimin’s hand off his shoulder.

“No—” Jimin’s fingers wrap around his arm, “Jungkook no. She’s gone”

Jungkook stops at that, muscles locking up. Cogs of his mind cranking back into action, hazy thoughts clearing for a moment at what he’d just heard.

Ever so slowly he turns towards Jimin, eyes narrowing.

“Pardon?” he seethes.

“Look!” Jimin points to the chair, “It’s empty. She’s not there. No one’s there. You’re imagining things Jungkook, you need help”

“What?” Jungkook turns back to look at you, “She’s literally right there!”

He points to you, frantic, “tell him you’re here. He can see you, you’re literally right here”

He pulls his arm from Jimin’s hold, feet dragging against the carpet, “Come on, baby. You’re right here” he kneels before you, warm fingers slipping through yours. Desperation seeping from every pore as he holds onto you.

Jimin watches, slipping his phone out his pocket to message one of the older roommates, concern shrouding him as he watches Jungkook whisper to nothing. Your name slipping off his tongue like it were the only thing he knew.

“Tell him” Jungkook whispers, pressing his forehead to your knees.

Your fingers slip from between his own, gentle as they brush over his hair. How many times the two of you had been in this position, or the roles swapped as he pampered you with his love.

“Jungkook” you murmur, hand running over his cheek. Your thumb brushes over a tear, swallowing as you call his name again.

He looks up at you through wet lashes, “I’m sorry” he whispers.

“I know you are” you nod, “But I’m gone”

He shakes his head again, hands running up your legs, fingers digging into your skin.

“I can feel you, see?” he laughs, wiping his cheek with the sleeve of his hoodie, “You’re right here, we’re together”

You blink down at him, slow as your arms snake around his neck. You slip off the chair to sit with him on the floor.

He pulls you closer to his body, arms wrapping around you, cradling you like you were the most precious little being, so fragile and small and all his.

“I’m not here anymore” you whisper, “You know that too”

He shakes his head, “No, because if you were dead then I would be too. I can’t live without you”

“Yes, you can” you look up at him, “I’ll always be here” you press a finger over his heart, “Here too” that same finger pushes against his forehead.

You notice Jimin’s absence from the doorway, eyes flickering back to Jungkook who had been looking at you. Scratching the image of your face into his mind. Regret finally settling over him as he catches up with what he had said earlier, a million apologies lined up on his tongue.

“I’m the only one that can see you?” he murmurs, fingers tangling into your hair, “Just me?”

Your tongue runs over your bottom lip, “I suppose”

Jungkook wipes his cheeks, mouth pulling into a wide smile as he pulls your body closer to his, “Then we can really be together forever?”

You press your cheek to his shoulder, nodding. Unsure what else you were supposed to do.

“It seems so” you whisper, eyes closing, knowing it would only take so long for Jimin to get someone. Gentle peace between the both of you only lasting so long before they come and break Jungkook apart.

You wonder what they’ll do. You can only assume he’d fall into hysteria the more they tell him you’re dead. Remind him of what happened, how you lay six feet under, flowers he’d brought you rotting over your grave in that exact moment. Decomposing along with your body.  

Your eyes peek open, catching sight of the last photo you and Jungkook had taken together, pinned beside his bed. A good omen he’d told you, so that on the days you would sleep at your apartment, at least you’d be looking over him. There even if you weren’t.

It was a small beach house the both of you had rented out for the summer. The final photo before you’d taken the long drive home, his fingers interlaced with yours, sweet smelling sea air slowly fading out the longer you drove. With the promise that you’d come again next summer, just the two of you.

“What about the beach?” you pull away from him a little, his eyebrows furrowing in question.

“The beach?”

You nod, “To be together forever” you watch his face, careful of his reaction.

“They’ll take me away from you”

“They?” he asks, “No one’s taking you away”

You glance back at the door, “Your friends… they’ll make sure we’re never together”

Jungkook follows your gaze, silence stretching out between the both of you. Faintly you can hear Jimin on the phone, too far away for you to catch any of what he was saying.

Jungkook turns back towards you, “The beach…”

You nod, gentle smile toying at your lips. Because even in death, there would never be a day you’d want to watch him suffer. Any excuse for him to escape and for you to trail along behind him, truly in his shadow. Nothing more than an bodyless being that only your lover would be able to see.

Your arms wrap around him tighter, pulling him a little closer to you until his face is pressed into your neck.

Jimin can’t see you when he comes back upstairs, can’t see the lack of expression on your face as he worries about his friend. Blissfully unaware of the little seed of hope planted in Jungkook’s mind.

[navybrat817]

It's a Ginger Thing

Pairing: Soft Dark!Nick Fowler x Female Reader Summary: Feeling a bit stir crazy from your daily routine, you share an idea with Nick that may be good for the other wives. Word Count: Over 1.5k Warnings: Implied smut, noncon/dubcon elements (you have been warned), gaps in memory, gaslighting, coercion, creepy vibes, Nick Fowler (yep, he's a warning) A/N: Nick and Ginger's Intro for my Disturbia AU! ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby, but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Nick took you to the gym at the same time each day before he went to work. Exercising was your favorite part of your daily routine. It gave you a chance to get out of the house, stay in shape, and have some time with your husband before he went on his way and you got to work on your chores. It was also a good way to get some of your frustrations out of your system, which you could only do so much through cleaning.

A good wife keeps a tidy home for her husband.

You pinched the bridge of your nose as you stopped in mid stretch. It was difficult to pinpoint why you weren’t overly fond of cleaning. It wasn’t that you didn’t like a put together home and you would never look down on anyone who thrived on being a stay-at-home spouse. But it wasn’t a way for you to flourish. It was as if one day you just decided to give up on your wants without a second thought.

What did I want to do before we moved to The Haven? I had goals, didn’t I? Ambition?

You sometimes liked to imagine that you wanted something more beyond the duties of a housewife. Something exciting or a job that could help people in some way. It was possible to support Nick in the ways he needed while having something of our own. Was that too much to ask?

Yes. Because Nick helps so many with his job, along with taking care of me. Supporting him should be enough.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asked when you quickly finished stretching.

“Nothing,” you said, putting your hands on your hips as his bright blue eyes focused on you. Seeing him in his workout clothes, the taut muscles defined through the fabric, made it difficult to concentrate. “Just don’t really think I’m up for doing any housework today.”

“Your head bothering you?” he asked, taking a sip of water with an unwavering gaze.

Nick was a little different from some of the men you knew in the neighborhood. From what you observed, Steve ruled his home with an iron fist and he expected Cherry to fall in line. You had to bite back a retort more than once when you saw how he treated her, especially since she was so kind. Scott was one of the nicest guys on the block, but traditional in that he expected Rose to find fulfillment as a homemaker and future mother. Andy and Ruby, you still weren’t quite sure how they fit together, but they at least seemed happy.

But Nick? It didn’t bother him if you skipped cooking one night to order takeout or if you let laundry go for a day. The last time you snapped at him to put his own plate in the dishwasher, he laughed and bent you over the kitchen table until you were a drooling mess. All while telling you he loved the fire inside you. Because at the end of the day, he wanted you by his side and in his bed.

That was the only true rule he enforced: Don’t ever leave him.

And why would I? Nick Fowler is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

“I think you went away there for a second,” he said.

“Sorry. Guess my head is bothering me,” you replied, graciously accepting the other bottle as he handed it over.

You never expected to crave fruit infused water, but it soothed the aches in your body. You once asked if he put muscle relaxers or something in your drinks since you always seemed to feel better once you had them. He said “yes” with the most serious expression before he winked. And you promptly dumped your drink out. He had to make them in front of you for a week straight before you took them again without question. It didn’t matter that it was a joke to him because you took it seriously.

Nick wouldn’t hurt me though. He loves me with his entire being.

“So, I was thinking,” you began, pausing to take a large sip.

“That can’t be good,” he joked, chuckling when you grabbed his towel to toss it at him. “Kidding! I was kidding. What’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours?”

I don’t know half the time and that scares me.

“I was thinking that it might be good if I taught the girls a little bit of self-defense. Maybe we can rent out a spot here? Or I can even teach it in our backyard?” You told him, giving him a pleading smile. “What do you think?”

“Why would you want to do that?” he asked, motioning for you to follow him to one of the sparring mats.

Where Nick goes, I’ll follow him.

“It would be good for me to break up my routine a little bit. I love our time here at the gym and it’s fun hanging out with the girls, but I think it might be good for all of us. I know that we live in a safe neighborhood, but you never know what'll happen.”

“I'm sure Ruby can defend herself just fine,” he joked, running a hand through his short hair. You could tell he was trying to get your attention on him and not the topic at hand.

“And what about Cherry and Rose?” you asked. “And didn’t you say someone is living with Bucky now? What about her?”

“Plum. We haven’t met her yet,” Nick shrugged a little. “I understand that you don’t want to stay home all the time, but I really don't see the need for a self-defense class. The others will probably feel the same way.”

“Of course, you don't see the need for it,” you snapped before you could stop yourself. “You know why? Because you're not here. Day in and day out, you get to leave and go to work. The other husbands get to leave. And the wives? We’re stuck here. It’s enough to drive me crazy.”

Don’t raise your voice at your husband.

A shuddering breath left your lungs when Nick clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. It reminded you of a nightmare you had before you moved into the neighborhood. Of him chasing you down and catching you with that same terrifying look before he fucked you into submission. There was an ache between your thighs when you woke up, but he assured you it was nothing more than a vivid, terrible dream.

You felt so bad about it that you ended up apologizing to him.

A good wife knows when to concede to her husband and chooses her battles wisely.

“Whatever it is that you're feeling, you don't need to take it out on me. I'm on your side,” he reminded you before he took a deep breath. “Look. I can’t make any promises that anyone will be okay with a self-defense class, but I’ll at least ask.”

“You will?” you asked in a softer voice, bringing your water to your lips and deflating a bit as the cool liquid flowed through your body.

“I will,” he promised, taking the drink away from you when you gave a smile. “May I offer a compromise in case they say no? An aerobics class? This way you can still get quality time with the girls here.”

That didn’t seem like a fair compromise to you. How would aerobics help the girls, besides staying in shape? But the smile Nick gave you was enough to back down the rising words in your throat.

Nick knows the best course of action.

“I’ll consider that,” you said, gasping when he kicked your feet out from under you. Luckily, you didn’t get the wind knocked out of you as you landed on your back. “Nick!”

“Always be aware of your surroundings, Ginger,” he smirked, joining you on the ground. He easily caught your wrists and pinned them above your head. The position left you vulnerable. “If you’re going to help these girls, you need to be able to help yourself.”

“I can,” you said through your teeth.

I’m not weak. I’m stronger than he thinks I am.

“Yeah? Then get out from under me or stay there and let me get you off,” he said, bending down to brush his lips against yours. “Or maybe I should leave you hanging for snapping at me.”

You moaned when he dipped his hips against yours. Was it the control he had that made him hard or the fact that anyone could walk into the gym and catch you? It wouldn’t be the first time. He liked it when others caught him fucking you.

He’s a proud husband and there’s nothing wrong with that.

“Sorry I snapped,” you whispered, arching your back when he tightened his grip on your wrists.

“Why don’t you let your pussy show me how sorry you are? Then I’ll believe you.”

Whatever Nick wants, he gets. And I’ll be happy to give it to him.

Good life with Nick, right? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Nick Fowler Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[scribbledghost]

Hi Ghost!! Congrats on 3K!! Also wishing you a (VERY late) Happy V-Day!! If you're still doing the 3K prompts - how about #8 (Royalty AU) where Simon is a Knight assigned to protect his Princess (aka you "Lady Ghost")? With MAYBE a #11? Idk I feel like that'd be a cool AU where Simon falls HARD for you, but he can't say anything 'cause you're a princess & why would you want someone like him? (Doesn't stop him from showering you with devotion, though). Sending you hugs <3 <3 <3

I love this combo so muuuuuuuch I hope you do too! In fact I liked it so much that this ballooned from 500 words to 934 lmao 3K Follower Prompt List 8. Royalty AU 11. Falling-in-love Montage Bonus Vibes: Accolade by Edmund Blair Leighton, The Meeting on the Turret Stairs by Frederic William Burton

It is Spring when Ghost is first assigned to be your royal guard, kneeling before you as you press the thin steel of the sword to his shoulder. Initially, he is… less than thrilled, much preferring active combat and leading troops as opposed to following you around. However, he accepts the assignment without complaint, and performs his duties as expected. He is a knight, after all, and who is he to deny the crown’s orders? 

Ghost shadows you day and night, leaving your side only when he must. He is a silent presence, a disconcerting shadow against the cobblestone as you journey from one market stall to another. He keeps a close eye on you, though keeps his physical distance.

That is, until you trip on an upturned stone in the road and tip forward. 

He reacts before he fully realizes what he’s doing, swooping in to grab you around the waist and pull you back upright. At first, you only turn in his grasp and slowly trail your eyes from his arm up to his eyes. Then, you speak.

“...Thank you.”

It’s a soft, delicate thing, the way it flutters from your mouth to his ears. As the sounds of the market fade, something occurs to him.

No one’s ever thanked him before.

------------------

It is Summer when Ghost finds you deep in the palace gardens late one night, staring up at the stars by yourself. He sits next to you on the stone bench, watching as you fidget with your hands.

No words are spoken - there is no need for them on this night.

He had watched you flee after rejecting another suitor and arguing with your father in the aftermath. He had listened silently as you’d told the king that your heart belonged to another - though you had left before admitting the identity of the person who held it. Once you had left, he had stayed behind momentarily to give you some space, only moving from his station once the king had given him a wave and a command to leave.

Now, he sits next to you. A comforting, silent, familiar presence. He desperately wishes that he had been born in a higher station in life; desperately wishes that he could march to the king tomorrow and ask for your hand.

But life is rarely kind, and there is no chance someone of your stature would want someone of his. He must settle for what he has received: your time and your company. For right now, that is enough.

It has to be. There is no other alternative.

------------------

It is Autumn when Ghost accompanies you on a walk through the countryside, well away from the prying eyes of the palace and the town surrounding it. A rare chance for him to remove his helmet - to let you see what no one else has had the chance to: his face.

The light breeze rustles your gown and chills him slightly through his chainmail and leather garb. Tenderly, he grabs your hand, pressing his lips to your knuckles as he catches your gaze.

It is a practiced action, one undertaken many times before in circumstances just as private. Ghost dotes on you, so much that his fellow soldiers have taken to referring to you as “Lady Ghost”, much to the chagrin of both himself and the king. Everyone in the kingdom knows well that you are the only person alive who can truly bring him to heel, and he will gladly admit as much.

“I trust you know by now who my heart belongs to,” you murmur to him as he wraps an arm around your waist.

He could guess. He could allow the small blossom of hope growing in his chest to unfurl and bloom. But he won’t.

“I do not.”

You smile at him then; a sight he wishes he could behold every time he closes his eyes. As you lean in and kiss his cheek, he feels the warm touch of hope fill his lungs.

------------------

It is Winter when Ghost stands behind you in the king’s throne room. The crown’s booming voice causes him to subconsciously rest a hand on the pommel of his sword, but you are undeterred.

He listens with pride as you stand firmly before your father, refusing to marry for anything but love.

Refusing to marry anyone but Ghost.

In another kingdom, such insolence would not be tolerated. Ghost would likely be exiled or beheaded, and you would be forced into a political marriage anyway. Thankfully, life has given him a small ray of light in this aspect.

“You can try to wed me,” you seethe, “you can have your ceremony and your power. But the second any other man tries to bed me, I will remove his head from his shoulders.”

Not if Ghost removes it first.

After a full afternoon of arguing, long after the fires are lit for the night, the king relents. He finally realizes his protestations are futile, and allows you to have your way.

When you and Ghost return to your room for the night, the way you kiss him in celebration sears itself into his memory.

------------------

It is another Spring when Ghost stands across from you in that same throne room, your hands in his as he is finally allowed to kiss you before the kingdom. He could care less about the new title he has received or about the new set of responsibilities that await him.All that matters is that you - his princess, his “Lady Ghost” - is finally, fully, truly his. Just as he has always been yours.

[bp-zb1fics]

A little crazy

pairing: overprotective bf shanbin x s/o reader

genre: university au on unhingedness (same verse as perils, and no, it's not lasik), fluff

tw/tags: established relationship, some stereotypical characters, hanbin has a few quirks, character study lowkey, unwanted flirting, unintentional flirting, pet names, intimidation, he's sweet but a psycho, drinking, getting a lil tipsy, lowkey stalker vibes but not really, for plot purposes we will find it cute, threatening, idk how to tag this pls tell me if i missed something

wc: 2078

summary: your boyfriend is legitimately the sweetest person ever…except when someone tries to make moves on you. Then he gets…well…

a/n my advanced birthday fic for hanbin! Bc idk why I thought it was today I must have hallucinated but also idk if I have time to post on the actual day bc of real life commitments lmao whoops I struggle and try my best. Shout out to Kara aka @boysplanetmorelike for sparking this lil idea~

Check my pinned for more fics~

It’s not like he was perfect, even if people liked to think he was. Well, yes he is very boyfriend. That’s why he’s your boyfriend.

You, of all people, can attest to the fact he isn’t perfect. You’ve seen his hair in the morning. He’s definitely not at his prettiest. Sometimes he becomes a little control freak. You know that. You’re the one who they call to get him before he makes one of the poor freshmen cry unintentionally and then ends up feeling guilty about it and apologising profusely for the rest of the day, your poor soft-hearted man. And some might argue that yes he has his little ticks but they’re only minor character flaws if they can be considered flaws at all.

If only they knew.

Those who have had the pleasure of getting to know Sung Hanbin on a more, well, personal level are probably the only ones who will ever know. Poor souls, really.

And perhaps it isn’t as effective to explain as it is to show what exactly one of his more problematic personality issues is. Let’s take one unsuspecting, innocent afternoon.

Perspective. You’ve just finished class. It’s a pleasant day. You decide to meet at one of the benches under the trees outside your building. His class finishes a bit after yours so you wait, scrolling through your phone, peaceful, unbothered.

Enter unfortunate victim. For the purpose of this exercise, he shall remain unnamed. We’ll call him Victim #444. Or well, that guy.

He’s your typical fuckboy. Good looking in a sort of lukewarm way, hugely overconfident, probably thinks he has a bigger dick than he actually does, a horrible flirt, we’ve all met that type.

You share a class together. That’s how he makes conversation. Otherwise, he might not dare to approach at that time. Your talk goes something like this.

“Hey, you’re in Choi-seongsaengnim’s class too right?”

“Yeah?” You look up from your phone and he’s just there. He takes a seat on the same bench without asking. Well, it’s public property but he’s a little closer than you would like.

“He’s such a hardass, don’t you think? Like sure, he knows the lesson but he doesn’t need to act like this is the only class we’re taking.”

“Well, I mean-”

“-Like seongsaengnim, come on, I have a life outside of trying to figure out what the fuck your lessons mean.” You can add self-absorbed and stupid to this one’s list of notable traits.

“I think-” And definitely not letting you get a word in.

“Speaking of, have you got a partner for the latest project? Because, you know, I’ve been asked but I’m happy to make an exception if you want to pair up.”

“Actually, I already have-”

“Let me give you my number so we can contact each other? Maybe meet up, you know? I’ve got a nice little place to myself on the other side of campus.”

Ugh, as if. He’s leaning in so close that you can smell his cheap cologne. Before you can get up from the bench, arms wrap around you from the back and a very familiar voice coos in your ear.

“Ahh nae sarang, sorry I’m late.”

You turn your head, leaning into him.

“Hi Binnie-yah.”

He beams at you before directing his stare at the other guy. And so it begins.

“Oh, who’s this?”

You’re pretty sure Hanbin knew who this was. He knew who everyone was and at least one notable thing about them because he was quirky like that. Well, he wasn’t known as the university’s social butterfly for nothing. And you don’t want to spoil his fun so you let the guy introduce himself.

“Ah, you’re taking that major, yeah? So Junho-yah is your senior, how is he these days?”

“Oh, ah yes, Junho-sunbaenim’s been doing well, I don’t really see him around much actually.”

And bingo. The guy starts squirming. Faster than it usually takes. Your boyfriend’s made himself comfortable even though he’s half-hunched over and resting his chin on your shoulder, looking at the other guy with an unwavering stare. Sort of the way a spider would probably look at a fly before, well, you know.

“Really, well last I heard from him, he was complaining about how disrespectful his underclassmen are…but you’re not like that, aren’t you?”

“Ah, no, of course not sunbaenim.”

You can feel Hanbin’s smile get wider, his eyes crinkling in a way that you find adorable but you suspect might not be as cute for your unfortunate companion.

“That’s good, keep up the good work. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if any of my underclassmen were being disrespectful. Ah well, actually I can….”

He pauses and you swear that the guy stops breathing.

“...and I can definitely say that they’ll be very sorry that they even tried that with me.” Hanbin continues cheerily.

Suddenly he walks over and starts patting him on the shoulder. The guy flinches back.

“So next time, remember to be on your best behaviour and keep being polite, hmm? Don’t be so obvious? Maybe try not to be so shameless, yeah?”

“Ah, yes, of course, sunbaenim. Actually I- I just remembered I- I have to go- ah- sorry to disturb um- excuse me-”

You watch as he does a roughly 90 degree bow to both of you before walking off quickly.

“Less than 5 minutes, Binnie, that’s a new record.”

And your cute boyfriend is back, pouting and grabbing at your hands and squeezing them softly. If you were anyone else, you would have gotten whiplash.

“It’s not my fault if I want you all to myself, hmmm?”

Did you mention that your boyfriend was a little off in the head? Not in the should-be-confined-to-the-mental-hospital way but that slight sort of insanity that possesses him when someone tries to go for his little brother (rip Gunwook) or his little sister or his close friends or well, you.

And everyone else? Everyone else was not safe. If murder was legal, literally everyone else would probably be fearing for their lives. Which is probably a good thing that murder isn’t legal. Those incredibly lucky bastards.

Take one of the freshmen trying to chat you up during a party. They’ve been incredibly nice all evening, pouring you drinks and asking you all sorts of thoughtful questions about the major. So yes, you’re very happy to answer and give them little tips on how to ace a certain project.

“And it’s honestly fine if you mess up a little on your first test for Hwang-seongsaengnim’s class, he’s very nice when it comes to students forgetting a few names so don’t stress too much about it and make sure to ace the extra credit he gives.”

“Oh, thank you so much sunbaenim. That’s so helpful, I’ll definitely try my best.”

You can’t help but smile. So cute. Maybe it was the alcohol but you remember how it was like being a wide-eyed, overeager freshman listening attentively to your own seniors.

“It’s really no problem. Ask me anything, anytime. Seriously, don’t be afraid if you need advice.”

You reach over to pat them, swaying just a little from the amount of soju running through your body. They’re awfully red as well. You wonder why.

“How are you getting home, sunbaenim? Do you live nearby? I can walk with you if you’re comfortable with that, I don’t think it’s too safe to be out at this time.”

“Oh it’s no worries, I’ll be taking them home.”

“Ah Hanbinnie, meet my new dongsaeng” you’re not too sure when he got here or even why he’s here but Hanbin’s incredibly warm and his hands around your waist feel so nice. 

“This is my boyfriend.” You introduce him to the freshman. He dips his head in greeting as the other nearly tips over trying to bow. You make a concerned noise, making to catch the other but Hanbin firmly keeps you from moving, letting the freshman catch themselves instead.

“So nice to meet you, we’ll get going if that’s alright. It’s really not safe to be out this late, especially with someone you barely know.” You hardly register your boyfriend’s words but you’re not that drunk that you don’t know the smile he’s giving is about 95% fake and razor-sharp.

“Ah yes, get home safely, sunbaenim. I’ll find my way back so don’t worry.”

“Oh we won’t” You think you hear Hanbin say. Maybe. Could be your imagination. Because the next moment he’s nuzzling at your neck like a very spoiled cat, arms firmly holding you up as he guides you out of the bar and into the car.

“Nae sarang, you really need to take better care of yourself or I won’t want to let you out of my sight.” He says to you softly as he practically carries you into the passenger seat. It’s sweet, well the implication behind it is kinda creepy but you know he doesn’t mean it that way. (Does he?)

“You drove here?”

“Of course, I can’t let you go home all by yourself, can I?”

Like you said, there’s just a tiny screw loose in that head of his, considering the bar where you’re drinking is over an hour away from campus. You chalk it up to it being Hanbin. He can get a little paranoid on occasion. 

And sometimes, he goes a bit psycho. A little. Not a lot. Still, according to Gunwook, it’s terrifying. You really wouldn’t know but you’ve seen it.

You’ve come to wait for his dance club to finish when someone collides into you. It’s not too hard but it still knocks you off your feet and onto the ground with a thud.

“Yah, watch where you’re going, huh? I have a performance next week and I could have injured myself.”

It’s definitely one of the newer members because you don’t recognise them. Before you can say anything, Seo Won, one of the veterans, is already helping you up and asking if you’re okay. The one that knocked you over huffs and is about to say something else when Hanbin calls their name sharply.

Your boyfriend’s eyes narrow and maybe you’re a little lightheaded from the fall but also from the way his shirt clings to his body and his hair weighed down by sweat. It’s kinda hot but you’re not admitting that out loud. Not now, at least. He calls the other member’s name again and gestures him over.

He speaks too quietly for you to hear anything. All you know is that the other’s face pales drastically and he bows several times, walking over and apologising to you before practically hightailing out of the room.

Hanbin’s all over you in a matter of seconds, practically lifting you off the ground. It’s not good for your heart. Seo Won quickly backs off.

“My poor sarang, are you okay? Do you need anything? Ice? Are you bruised anywhere? Let me check.”

You don’t ever see the person who knocked you over again. Ever. You’d wonder about it but you’ve learned that it was better not to question sometimes. Especially when Hanbin insists on carrying you around for the rest of the day and practically waits on you hand and foot until the bruises fade. And it’s just a bruise. You do admit to him later that maybe you find it attractive when he’s a shade pissed and sweaty. Maybe you both get a little sweaty after that. And later, when you’re rightfully tired and sprawled out on top of him, you think about it.

Really, you wonder what goes through his mind sometimes.

[cut scene]

Hanbin smiles, all teeth and no sympathy. It’s like the serial killer before the murder.

“You speak to anyone like that ever again and I can do injuring for you, understood? No, don’t talk, just nod if you’ve managed to get it into that head of yours, hmm?”

A nod. Hanbin likes it when they’re like this. Quiet and white-faced and sweating nervously.

“Now go apologise to them. Sincerely. Like you mean it. And then, get lost. I don’t want to see your face for awhile, yes?”

Another nod. They take one step back and make to turn around.

“Oh wait.”

They freeze.

“Remember. Sincerely, okay? And don’t think I won’t know if it isn’t.”

A final nod.

“Very good. Now go.”

They go. Hanbin sighs. God, you’re going to drive him insane one day. (He already is)

[misshoneyimhome]

Yay!! So glad your inbox is open - I’ve absolutely loved everything you’ve written…keeps me motivated to finish my days at the office as work seems to be endless near the holidays😅

I was thinking the other night about falling asleep on FaceTime with Willy every night on his first long roadie since you guys have been official and the guys chirping him for it but Daddy John being so happy that Willy has finally found someone that seems to be the one…I feel like 9188 have a special bond❤️

Oh, thank you, love! That makes me so happy to hear, and rest assured, I'm here to help whenever you need it 😉

I love your way of thinking! It's incredibly soft and sweet - and yes, Daddy John will forever come to the rescue ❤️🤗 I definitely feel those 9188 vibes

I hope this was along the lines of your thoughts - I feel like it’s very soft!Willy, but I just felt like going for it, you know 😉❤️

*

Do I even need to warn about mention of sexual behaviour at this point 🙈 you babes should know me by now 😂

・✶ ｡ﾟ

I’m only one call away (featuring Captain Daddy John)

"Hey, did you fall asleep with your phone again?" Mitch teased, as the team gathered for breakfast.

"Maybe..." William replied groggily, followed by a big yawn.

"Hey, Romeo, don't let your girl mess up your sleep routine - we need you sharp for the game tomorrow," Auston then quipped, a mischievous grin on his face.

"We're travelling today, Tony, don’t worry, I'll catch up," the Swede defended himself, stifling yet another yawn.

"Yeah, lay off him, Aus," Max chimed in, a playful glint in his eyes. "He's a bit touchy now... you know, 'cause he's in loooove."

"Oh, come on," William chuckled, shrugging off his teammate's teasing.

But his mates weren’t finished teasing him about his new romance. On no, they'd been poking fun at him ever since he started dating you and were not about to stop. 

**

You coming into William’s life, was probably the last thing he’d imagine at the time. 

During the last season, especially towards the finals, William had been so absorbed in his games that everything else faded into the background, and hockey became his sole focus.

However, when the Leafs were eventually defeated in the second round, it felt like his entire world crumbled, and he had to find his way back to reality.

And being the easy-going, composed, and confident guy he was, last season quickly became history, and he soon geared up for the new upcoming season, aiming to outdo his previous performances.

It had been at the start of the off-season, just before he headed to meet his family in Sweden, that you entered the picture.

He and his brother Alex were chilling in Toronto for a guys' night out when you caught his eye, as your bright smile and outgoing personality intrigued him.

And what was initially intended to be a casual one-night thing quickly turned into a second and then a third night together. And it was by the fourth time you spent the night at his place, he had to bid you farewell as he headed to visit his family.

However, throughout the summer, you both texted and snapped each other almost every day. All day.

Even his family noticed him smiling at his phone and being quite occupied during the hours that accounted for your time difference.

And as soon as he returned to Toronto, you were swiftly back in the place where it all began: his bedroom.

Truth be told, William was the best guy you'd ever been with. Not only was he incredibly handsome and definitely skilled in bed, but he was also genuinely kind and easy to talk with.

That's partly how you both ended up becoming more than just a one-night fling. You kept talking endlessly about anything and everything. And before long, William found himself sharing personal stories and details that he typically wouldn't disclose to just anyone. Perhaps only his family, Rasmus Sandin, and a select few other players knew this side of him.

However, then when the hockey season was about to kick off, things began to change up a bit.

William's schedule became overwhelmingly busy, making it increasingly difficult to meet up.

But that wasn't a real challenge for you. You hadn't expected much from your situationship with William, so when you had to be a little flexible, meeting late in the evening or leave early in the morning before he had to rush off, it was no issue at all. You simply cherished the time spent together. And when you discovered that he really enjoyed having you at the arena during matches, offering you tickets whenever you had the time, you simply couldn't refuse him.

But then, William's feelings began to gradually snowball.

Especially his teammates noticed a subtle change in his demeanour, and slowly began teasing him about it a bit. And after a couple of months and once he introduced you to his team, it was none other than the captain who felt the need to have a chat with the Swedish forward.

"So, have you told her how you feel?" John Tavares asked out of the blue during a training session while lacing up his skates next to William.

"No... I'm not sure what to say. I mean, I know I really like her... but I don't even know what we are…"

Despite feeling like you both could discuss anything, the exact definition of your situationship was never explicitly mentioned.

"Just tell her that - that you like her a lot," John chuckled with a friendly shrug. "What else is there to it?"

And truthfully, there hasn't been much else to it.

So, William gathered his thoughts, expressed to you that he liked you more than just as friends with benefits, and you reciprocated, telling him that you really liked him as well.

As simple as that.

Well, as simple as it could be when dating an extremely busy professional hockey player. It hadn’t exactly been the typical way of starting a relationship, but with flexibility, patience, honesty, and open communication, you managed it. And just a few weeks later, William was prepared to refer to you as his girlfriend.

Or to be honest, he simply assumed you were his girlfriend and forgot to ask, but that's another story.

Now, here you were, in a fully committed relationship with a man you never expected to fall head over heels in love with.

You lay on his bed as he packed his bag before embarking on a road trip, and not just any road trip - it was the first one since you officially became a couple.

"Is it weird that I'm going to miss you?" William chuckled as he zipped his suitcase before flopping onto the bed beside you.

Resting your head in your hand as you lay on your side, you flashed him a sweet grin.

"No, not at all. I mean, I'll miss you too, Willy, but it's just a little over two weeks - I think we can handle that."

"Maybe..." he pouted. "Just promise me you won't forget about me and run off with someone less busy..." He flashed you a slightly nervous smile.

It was probably one of his biggest concerns; a recurring issue for athletes whenever they got closer to someone.

But with you, there was truly no cause for concern. You were wholeheartedly devoted to the charming Swede, and besides, your work tended to occupy much of your time anyway. In fact, you saw the upcoming week as an opportunity to work a bit extra and perhaps earn some days off later on.

"Don't worry, babe, I've got work anyway," you chuckled lightly, doing your best to reassure him. "But if it makes you feel any better, you can always call me in the evenings, and we'll have a chat."

Your words seemed to comfort him, and although William wasn't truly concerned about your commitment, he ended up calling every day to talk.

And you absolutely adored him for it.

The first time, it was just to hear your voice, chat about your day, and discuss how the team had been on the road before a quick workout, team meeting, some time on the ice, and then rest at the hotel.

The following day, the Leafs faced off against the Blackhawks, and unfortunately, it ended in an overtime defeat. And upon returning to the hotel, William quickly reached for his phone, finding your name and hitting the call button.

"Oh, try to hurry up a bit more, Willy," Järnkrok teased in Swedish as William practically sprinted to his room to FaceTime you.

And then you talked for hours. Despite the lateness following a match, both of you just enjoyed talking. In fact, you enjoyed it so much that you ended up falling asleep on either end of the call, phones in hand.

Naturally, this didn't go unnoticed either, and William had to hear about it all during breakfast.

Then, during the next day, which happened to be another travel day, you exchanged a few more texts. Well, not a few, more like a lot. And perhaps you were a bit of a tease as well by sending him a lingerie photo or two, just to leave a lasting memory. However, your flirtatious photos quickly escalated, and later in the evening, after the hockey commitments were over, you found yourselves pleasing yourselves on each end of the call, exchanging moans and indulging in some dirty talk.

Seemingly, your intimate session left both of you quite tired, and once again, you ended up falling asleep during the call.

The following day, naturally, the guys were all over Willy once more.

"Looks like someone can't be away from his girl," Reaves called out through the hallways.

"Willy and y/n sitting in a tree..." Mitch sang playfully around his teammate, while others joined in with light banter and teasing.

However, John noticed something different.

With his mature, experienced captain's eyes, he noticed a change in his teammate, something he found quite intriguing and positive.

"Hey guys, cut it out," the captain intervened as they were taking their seats on the bus, prompting the others to quiet down and prepare for the ride. "Just ignore them," he told William, taking a seat next to him.

"I am... I mean, it doesn't really bother me," William replied with a crooked smile.

Although the older teammate believed him, John still felt the need to make a point.

"I know, but I'm just saying that regardless of what's going on in your head, it's for the better."

"How so?"

"You seem... I don't know, maybe a bit more mature, like you've got your head together," the captain said with a warm smile.

"Honestly, I feel the opposite," William replied with another lopsided smile. "I mean, she's in my head all the time..." he sighed. "I can't stop thinking about her - I miss her, even though it's only been a week since we've been apart... we haven't even been together for that long."

"I know the feeling, kid. These women, they have a way of getting to us," John chuckled, briefly reminiscing about what it's like to be in love for the first time.

"Yeah..."

"Hey, you're doing great, and feeling this way just means she's really something special," John offered a reassuring look.

"Thanks, I think so too. I mean... I've never felt like this about someone before," William admitted.

"Oh, she's your first?"

"Yup... and I want her to be the last..."

The two men shared a heartfelt moment, exchanging chuckles as William's eyes shone with pure love and longing, and John couldn't help but feel happy for the young hockey star.

"You know, just in case you ever start doubting yourself - not that you seem like you do - I just want you to know your game has been insanely good since you met y/n."

"Yeah?"

"Yes, it's like maybe you want to impress or something because you know she's watching - whatever it is, keep using it as fuel. It works."

And with those final words of encouragement, John gave William a supportive clap on the shoulder before standing up to move and take another seat, leaving the younger player with his thoughts and emotions.

Well, that was the case until curious George, also known as Auston Matthews, threw himself into the seat.

And throughout the remainder of the road trip, William continued to call you every day, and you both chatted in the evenings as if you were together in real time. And every night, you'd end up falling asleep with your phones in hand because neither of you felt like hanging up.

**

As soon as the boys were back in town, William wasted no time in arranging to meet up with you. As soon as he knew when he was about to land, he swiftly texted you, urging you to be ready and pack an overnight bag as he intended to pick you up.

"Willy, it's late, you don’t need to come and pick me up... we'll see each other tomorrow," you tried to rationalise, although a part of you deeply yearned to be close to him again.

"I know, but I just really want to see you," he pleaded over the phone, already seated in his car and on his way.

And you couldn’t help but release a light sigh, a soft smile gracing your lips at his sweetness. "Alright, I really want to see you too."

Soon, William then arrived at your place, and you swiftly hopped into his car, heading to his condo.

Not that there was anything wrong with your place, but you also knew that William longed to return to his dogs, having been away from them for so long.

And in no time, you reached the carpark, hurriedly taking the lift, and passionately connecting your lips every possible second during the ride up. Then upon entering the condo, bags were carelessly tossed to the floor, and amidst the heated make-out session, William briefly paused, taking deep breaths before his deep blue eyes locked onto yours, as he softly, almost nervously, spoke.

"Y/n... I love you..."

For some, those three words were easily spoken, but for William, they held more weight. And yet, they felt so incredibly right to say.

"I love you too, Willy," you smiled up at him, your bodies close, sharing warmth and air filled with endorphins between you, before reconnecting in a deep, heartfelt kiss.

[non-stop-imagines]

MEE RELEASE THE ARCHIVES BABE

Thank you for this. It kick started my creativity. I have soooo many WIPs that I'm excited to show you guys and my ideas need somewhere to land, so why not here.

I'm also gonna link this to my Masterlist so I can link the finished products to both and people are able to choose how they decide which fic to read.

(A bunch of barely coherent brainstorming under the cut 😚 And this apparently will be changing and updated whenever I think of it so keep checking back 💖)

Works in progress/ideas by driver:

Lewis Hamilton

- Something with the vibe of Angel of Mine by Monica because that song reminds me of him every time it comes on and I desperately want to try writing for Lewis again

Another song one. Ours by Taylor Swift. You both are very busy but very in love and will always make time for each other. No matter what.

Max Verstappen

Raincheck sneak peek here (Intense hatred between Max and the reader can only last so long.)

Big brother Max trying to help his sister out but is block by his father at EVERY TURN. (Tyla faceclaim and the request alone has me obsessed with her now. I absolutely love her.

Different things to add to Repeat That Au; Big sister, best friend and a lot of pregnancy talk (including something that links in the On Display Au courtesy of my ♥️ anon)

Lando Norris

Lando flirting with his PR manager who is a few years older.

Two words: Uncle. Lando.

Something to the song Making Whoopee by Frank Sinatra bc Lando seems like the type of guy to do anything for the girl he wants to fu k really badly. Wedding. Home. Baby. Whole nine yards. Big simp energy. The best type of energy

More from the Valentine Au because it's cute and I love it

Lance Stroll

Fake dating. We love when besties fake date and fall in love 😙

Oscar Piastri

Oscar loves his wife. Talks about her all the time. But no one knows they're married??? A little sneaky peek (that is barely put together):

"Your girlfriend is into astrology. I made the mistake of telling her my birthday." Lando spoke, twirling his flags, not seeing the extremely confused look Oscar was giving him.

"Girlfriend?" Lando looked up at his teammate and given him an equally confused face, believing his comment was quite clear.

"Uh, yeah? Yn?" Lando was so matter of fact, and yet had no idea how wrong he was.

"Yn's my wife. We're married."

"BUT YOU'RE BABIES!?"

"YOU'RE TWO YEARS OLDER THAN US!

More for Girl Almighty bc we have to see how the reader and Oscar do driving against each other

Charles Leclerc

Cocoa Butter Kisses-Charles is mesmerizing by your everything shower routine and how good you smell when you're done

Rockstar-undercover soft girl-reader; another smutty one; just gotta figure out the direction I was to take it

Wedding Night-Self explanatory;smut and aftercare (almost done with the smut, just gotta do the aftercare)

More stuff from My Biggest Fan Au bc who doesn't love Charles and Gianna 🥹

Something to I Wish by 1D with Pierre. You and Charles are literally the perfect couple. The entire way through. (See the ideas for Pierre for his part in the plot)

Logan Sargeant

Thanksgiving with the Fam and our very own Mr. America gets to experience a black Thanksgiving (yes I did get that suggestion right after Thanksgiving. Let's not talk about that 😔)

Something with the vibe of Wouldn't it be Nice by The Beach Boys bc apparently I think Logan is the purest little boy on the grid and just wants to live a happy life with his girlfriend

Carlos Sainz

More for Mírame Au (stay tuned bc there will come a time where I open request for suggestions for this 😚)

Esteban Ocon

Man's will be pining for Lewis' personal assistant and it will become a viral F1 moment.

Daniel Ricciardo

Reader can't stand sisters new boyfriend, and Daniel can't stand the fact that his girlfriends identical twin sister hates him, but feelings change, just not for the better

Handled: The Backstory (How reader and Daniel meet and fall for each other 😚) yes it will be smutty

Something based off the song "Would You Go with Me" because it is very Daniel and I don't know how to explain it

What do you think the opposite of On Display would be? (Hint: jealous Danny 😚)

More for On Display, but I might make her an OC to make another fic suggestion (look under Max ideas) a bit easier to write.

Fernando Alonso

Fernando and reader are literally each other's muse, he talk about her all the time and he inspires and entire album (and makes his music video debut)

Fernando gets some plants to impress reader; now he the plant dad to her plant mom and it's an inside jokes between family and friends

Fernandos favorite pass time is picking the readers hair color

Sebastian Vettel

Sebastian only wants one thing: For everyone to know how much he loves his ballerina girlfriend. Another little sneak peek (that, again, is just barely put together):

"Yes. You are in the presence...of the first...black Sugar Plum Fairy for the New York City Ballet." Your cheeks were sore from smiling, but nothing could dull your shine right now. Your friends that were hovering around you finally crowd around and give you tight loving squeezes, greeting Sebastian on your phone and bragging on your accomplishment.

"Sebastian! How does it feel to be dating the best principal dancer in the history of the New York City Ballet?" Your friend, Julia, hooks her arms over your shoulders and presses her mouth to your temple.

"I'm just glad I get to be her boyfriend. That's my title now. Sebastian Vettel, boyfriend Yn, New York City Ballett Principal Dancer and first black NYCB Sugar Plum Fairy.

Pierre Gasly

Introducing new OC!Eve (Chloe Bailey faceclaim);my way of introducing the readers sister into the Repeat That Au; we get to start off with a small backstory

I Wish-1D; Pierre's got it BAD. Go listen to the song. His POV is the song. It's heartbreaking and I love it so much. Probably one of the first fics that doesn't have a happy ending.

Maxiel

Trying get someone to buy you and Daniel a drink goes wrong