#this is a joke please don’t kill me 😂😂

[leclerc-hs]

capsize - cl16

pairing: charles leclerc x nanny!reader summary: in which charles is an idiot and you decide to make him suffer for a little bit warnings: smut, angst!, exhibitionism (kinda?), breeding kink!, language, 18+!, bad french!!! (please correct me and i'll edit), barely proofread (sorry if there’s mistakes my eyeballs hurt) word count: 5.9k (LENGTHYYYYY) author's note: had to give us some angst obvi....but also smut bc single dad charles is so hot. let me know what you think! I can't believe it ended up being this long but it felt like it was impossible to end. xoxo. please blow this up bc the effort I put into writing this took 100% of my brain power away lmao. also I got an anon request to write about nanny getting a internship with a fashion company which is included in this! french edits made by the lovely @dannyramirezwife (idk what I would do without you)

part 1 part 2

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yourusername

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 52,789 others yourusername welcome to miami 🐚🧡 view all 1,321 comments yourbsf but how do you kill it every time??? landonorris mmmm papaya looks good on you🍊 charles_leclerc how do I dislike a comment? liked by yourusername and 7,829 others yourusername 😂 user guys omg. user charles is NOT having it charles_leclerc beautiful. but please stick to red ❤️ user CRYING user lando is def on his shit list user lando wants her so bad lmaoooo

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 78,992 others yourusername luigi follows only the ferraris 🏎️🏁 view all 4,391 comments scuderiaferrari as you should! ❤️ user OMG SHES IN MIAMI!!!! user does this mean his daughter is there!!!! user i would hope. unless she's not doing her job lol user we need baby leclerc content!!! charles_leclerc damn right ❤️ yourbsf miami looks gooood on u. wanna move? yourusername 😏 charles_leclerc absolutely not user charles gtfooooo user what does charles just stalk her comments?

charles_leclerc

liked by scuderiaferrari, yourusername, arthur_leclerc, and 1,582,817 others charles_leclerc special guests this weekend ❤️ we’ll keep pushing as always. view all 5,717 comments scuderiaferrari the most precious guests EVER user literally. user guys he’s using plurals again!!! user it has to be about @/yourusername too user crying they’re so cute carlossainz55 can’t wait for her to design my next helmet 🌶️ charles_leclerc OUR* yourusername sweet baby girllllll 🩷🧸🎀

lando.jpg

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 274,892 others lando.jpg mrs. 305 tagged yourusername view all 3,672 comments user omg. user are her and lando dating? user i hope not user they would be so cute carlossainz55 damnnnnn 🌶️🥵 lando.jpg don't poke the bear @/charles_leclerc charles_leclerc 😒 yourusername don’t ever let me take another tequila shot again lando.jpg should i cancel the ones i just ordered to your room? yourusername you BETTER be joking charles_leclerc is that why i opened the door to shots? charles_leclerc mon dieu user no like she's so pretty user they're sharing a room!??? landonorris tagged yourusername in a story!

seen by charles_leclerc, yourbsf, carlossainz55, and 900,281 others yourusername

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, maxfewtrell, and 65,428 others yourusername who let lando behind the dj booth last night???? tagged landonorris view all 2,318 comments maxfewtrell he’s such a 🐍 user omg her and lando?? user lando has been in love with her for so long user can we just take in that charles didn’t like this post? user charles has a habit of not liking any of her posts with other men 👀 user ariana what are u doing here user where is charles?? user prob with his daughter bc she clearly isn't lol user it's HIS daughter landonorris i'm so lucky user WHAT!!!!!!! user GUYS HELP user IS HE CONFIRMING?!!!? yourusername you need to stop trolling the internet lando user DJ LANDOOOOO HAS RETURNED

YOU BEGIN TO wonder whether the universe harbors some inexplicable grudge against you. Because really, you always make sure to check in on your friends often. You always make sure to pay your bills on time, if not earlier. Heck, you even make sure to donate to a different charity every month. Yet, as the jet encounters heavily turbulent skies on the way to Miami, the persistent question echoes in your mind ‘why me?’.

Luckily, a bundle of joy rests on your lap, cupping your face in her hands, and playfully squeezing your cheeks. A sweet distraction from the terror you feel inside. It’s adorable how earnestly she tries to impact calmness in you, even though her eyes are half shut with sleep. 

“Ne sois pas effrayé,” Don’t be scared. Her voice maintains its gentleness as she swiftly loses interest in your cheeks, redirecting her tiny hands to play with the ends of your hair. “Je suis là avec papa.” Me and papa are here.

“Chérie,” Charles coos at his daughter, picking her up from your lap and resting her down on the bed. “Repose-toi bien," Get some rest. He tucks her into the bed, a space far too vast for her tiny body, nestling her favorite fluffy bunny stuffed animal by her side. You observe in admiration as he plants a gentle kiss to her forehead, then tenderly strokes her hair in a soothing manner.

“J’ai besoin qu’elle me borde, papa,” I need her to tuck me in. Her tiny fingers point to you and your heart instantly tightens. With a slight shake in your steps, you make your way to the bed, sitting on the side of it. “Bonne nuit, ma petite.” Goodnight, little one.

“Bonne nuit, maman,” Goodnight, mom. The words were mumbled with sleep, but it was the name that couldn’t be ignored.

For a brief period, both you and Charles experienced a suspended moment, a pause in time. Never had she referred to you in such a way, and you certainly didn’t want Charles to assume you influenced her perception in any manner.

“I don’t know why she said that.”

Caught like a deer in headlights, you pivot your head to face him. Panic courses through you, eyes widened, heart pounding. Yet, as you turn to Charles, he appears nonchalant, offering only a casual shrug of his shoulders.

“C’est bien.” It’s okay.

In a hushed pause, the both of you remain motionless aside from turning your head back to the sleeping toddler, entranced by how peaceful she looks. However, Charles finds it hard to divert his gaze from you. His eyes focus on the serene scene of his daughter’s fingers delicately entwined with yours, even in the depths of sleep, acknowledging the profound connection between you two. In these tranquil moments, where your presence is indispensable for tucking her in, Charles not only appreciates the nurturing care you offer but also recognizes the profound love and solace you impact. He can’t help but feel incredibly fortunate to have you in his life.

Only when Charles’s gentle hands tenderly squeezed the back of your neck, providing a subtle massage to your tense muscles, did you become acutely aware of the extent of your own exhaustion.

“Allez, dormons un peu, d’accord?” Let’s get some sleep, yeah? His lips delicately brushed against the shell of your ear, followed by a tender kiss on your temple, guiding you toward the other bed on the jet. Wrapping his arms snugly around your body, he let the both of you fall onto the mattress. While pulling the covers over both of you, your face pressed against his chest clad in a soft t-shirt. As you planted a gentle kiss above the neckline, you could feel the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat.  

Despite the passing of a few months since that initial kiss, your connection with Charles retained a serene simplicity. In the quietude of your shared moments, you found solace. Deliberately, you resisted the temptation to let your mind drift into the what if’s, choosing instead to remain in the present moments. 

However, within his mind, thoughts raced at a million miles a minute. Regardless of the casualness of your relationship you both claim to have, he couldn’t stop picturing you with swollen breasts and a swollen belly. The moment his daughter called you ‘maman’, an almost feral instinct surged within him. It was a wild and untamable force. He couldn’t stop imagining you pregnant. Full of his kid. Full of him. The need to fill you up with all of him was all but surging through his veins. All the blood was rushing to his cock, and he knew he needed to get these thoughts out of his head. 

“Bonne nuit,” Goodnight. His voice sounded so rough as his arms tightened around you and you easily fell into a quick slumber, feeling so safe in his arms from the turbulent skies.

-

The abrupt touchdown of the jet resonated through the cabin, rousing you from slumber. A ballet of movement ensued before your eyes met the scene: Charles had migrated to one of the plush seats, his daughter perched upon his knee. The ambient hum of the aircraft formed a backdrop to the unfolding familial vignette, a delicate interplay of affection. As Charles tenderly pinched his daughter’s cheeks, childlike laughter following their hushed whispers.

Charles shifted his gaze towards you, now upright on the bed. Your tousled hair framed a face adorned with the lingering softness of sleep, and your eyes, slightly puffy with remnant of slumber, held a captivating allure. Despite your disheveled state, he couldn’t help but find that you remained the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Bien dormi?” Sleep well?

A gentle smile played on your lips as you rose from the bed, indulging in a languorous stretch that showcased the contours of your body. The fabric of the t-shirt clung momentarily, revealing the subtle canvas of freckles adorning your stomach to Charles. His gaze involuntarily flicked away, a reflex triggered by the flooding memories, thoughts of you pregnant resurfacing in vivid detail. The mere glimpse of your stomach had him internally spiraling. 

“Uncle Lorenzo and Auntie Char want to see you bébé,” baby. A ripple of excitement danced in his daughter’s eyes as she clapped her hands joyfully at the mere mention of her uncle. Lorenzo and Charlotte had made their way to Miami a few days prior, cleverly disguising their visit as an opportunity to vacation while supporting Charles in the impending race. This strategic maneuver afforded you and Charles the luxury of solitude in the days leading up to the event, a rare and treasured gift compared to the last few months.

-

“Merde,” Shit. He grunted as his head fell back against the headboard of the shared bed. His green eyes watching you with flushed cheeks as you worked yourself over his cock. “This is where you belong, yeah?” 

The morning sun peeked through the curtains of the hotel room. Eliciting a warm glow in the hotel room as you sunk down onto him deeper than before. Your pussy fluttering around his length, appeasing the ache that he created before you even opened your eyes. 

You nodded your head repeatedly. “Mon dieu, yes.” 

His hands cup your ass, fingers pressing firmly into the delicate layers of your skin, leaving an imprint as if searching for a connection beneath the surface. Controlling your movements, he urges you to move more frantically. The feeling of your hot, wet, pussy squeezing him was almost too much for him to handle.

With each passing second, the pressure of his fingers increased, creating a sensation of both command and invitation at the back of your neck. His touch was a deliberate grasp, not just holding but asserting dominance. Your lips met in a symphony of desire.  His tongue slipping into your mouth instantly, brushing against yours as he held you against him. Your nipples flushed against the toned muscles of his chest as you leaned in, and the pound of his hips fucking upwards into you, had you all but mewling into his mouth. 

“C’mon mon ange, don’t make me wait.” My angel.

You’re not sure if it was the pet name or the fact that you loved to please him. Or maybe the brush of his body against your clit. But your orgasm came quickly after while the tears spilled slowly from your eyes. He swallowed every moan you gave him like it was his own source of oxygen before flipping both of you over and pushing you face first into the mattress.

Every moan you gave him was like fuel to the pound of his hips. He was completely lost in the feeling of you. “Take it all,” he grunted as he pushed your body into the mattress deeper than before, his eyes not moving from the sight of his cock coated with you and slipping into you. 

You were begging and pleading him to give you more, more, more. You don’t know what more he could give you; you just knew you needed it.

“So pretty like this,” he muttered, “like you were made just to take my fucking cock whenever I need.” His thrusts began to slow, but the speed didn’t alter just how good they felt. No, he pushed himself even further, hitting all the spots just right. It was as if he was trying to become one with you. Like he wanted merge you two into a singular existence. 

“Cha,” You moaned out his name and you couldn’t see but his eyes widened. His heart clenched at the nickname. He pulled out quickly, provoking a complaint from your lips as he began scooping one of his arms under your stomach and flipping you onto your back. He took a second to just look at you, a shine forming in his eyes as he observed you. You look absolutely fucked. Cheeks flushed, hair all over the place, eyes glossed with satiation, and red marks all over your neck from his fingertips.

“Needed to see your face,” he answered before you could ask, slipping his cock back into your needy hole. The confession making your heart clench and the stretch of his cock had your stomach doing flips. “Besoin de voir tes yeux.” Needed to see your eyes.

His gaze was unwavering and fixed upon you. It was as if sought to etch the intricate details of your face into the canvas of his memory. He wanted to capture every nuance, every curve, and every expression that you made. 

“Merde, let me cum in you.” His eyes trailed down your face, to your neck, to your breasts. The bounce of your breasts from the force of his hips had him in a trance, thoughts of you with swollen breasts came back to mind. When he felt your pussy clench around him at the phrase, a smirk formed. “Yeah? Want me to fill you up sweet girl?

“S’il ti plaît,” please. You were pleading. You wanted nothing more. “J’en ai besoin.” I need it.

Charles’s eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at your confession. His groaning and grunting increasing in volume as he pounds into you harder, every inch of his cock pressing against your velvet walls as he releases into you, making you feel all warm inside. 

“Tu es parfaite.” You’re perfect. He collapses beside you; his voice was so low that you almost didn’t hear him mumble the words as he pressed his lips to your collarbone before resting his head on the pillows. You felt your cheeks redden almost instantly, brushing off the compliment with a smile and small laugh. 

“Je dois prendre une douche.” I need to shower. The mixture of his and yours cum was oozing down your leg. You could still feel the warmth of it. Charles mumbled a soft “mmmm”, already drifting off into a slumber. 

-

You weren’t sure what changed in the few minutes you were in the bathroom, but you could feel the unease build in your stomach as you emerged with a towel wrapped around your frame and skin flushed red from the heat of the water to Charles pacing around the room, a knuckle in between his teeth.

He was agitated to say the least. He felt betrayed by you.

A subtle smile played on Charles’s lips as the sound of the shower resonated in the room, accompanied by your soft hum of a song he couldn’t name. The ambiance of the hotel room cocooned him in a profound sense of peace, and in that moment, he wished he could stay here eternally with you. Kissing you, touching you, inside of you.

When he heard the buzzing of a phone on the table beside the bed, he instinctively reached for it without glancing at the screen, presuming it to be his own. Given the context of it being a race weekend, early morning phone calls were expected. 

“Bonjour?” Hello? He let out a cough, clearing his throat from the sound of sleep and satiated desire. The subtle rasp carried with it the traces of his happiness.

“Ah bonjour, hello, this is Camille with Christian Dior.” The woman’s voice echoes into Charles’ ear. He sits up immediately, back against the headboard. His first thought was ‘why is Christian Dior calling me?’ but it wasn’t that abnormal either. Companies reached out to him all the time for collaborations. “I am calling regarding the application we received for the internship and wanted to schedule and in-person meeting.”

Charles felt his stomach twist in knots as he listened to Camille chatter into the phone. Application? Internship? Moving the phone from his ear, he looked at the phone realizing that it was in fact yours and not his. This call was for you, not him. Camille’s voice was muffled as it was pulled away from his ear. 

A wave of nausea coursed through Charles, the unexpected revelation at the possibility of you leaving hitting him hard. How could you just apply for another job like that? He felt himself growing antsy and restless as thoughts swirled in his head. Camille, who was confused by the silence, mumbled something about calling back later due to the lack of response from Charles.

He dropped the phone onto the duvet of the bed, standing up and pacing the room while he felt himself begin to question everything. Questioning why you would leave. Does he not give you enough? Was it too much to handle? As his thoughts droned on, taking a turn for the worse, he began to feel angry. Angry that you considered leaving this job. He began to see red.

“Qu’est-ce qui ne va pas?” What’s wrong? You were cautious, not standing too close to him to give him some space. His head whipped in your direction almost too quickly. 

Your attention was drawn to the wrinkle lines etched on Charles’s forehead, marking the aftermath of his furrowed eyebrows. The subtle creases and wrinkles, usually absent in is carefree demeanor, painted you a picture of his current inner turmoil. When you shifted your gaze to meet with his narrowed eyes, the cautious padding of your bare feet seemed to echo.

It was an unfamiliar sight to witness Charles engulfed in such a storm of emotions. The stark contrast to his usual carefree and joyful demeanor.  He was blinded by his rage as he muttered the next words.

“Es-tu idiote?” Are you stupid? His jaw was clenched. A soft gasp left your lips as you clutched tighter onto the top of your towel, feeling rather exposed now. “Demande à Christian Dior.” Ask Christian Dior. His spat out the name Christian Dior with such disdain. As if it were dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

Your eyes widened, everything clicking. You weren’t sure how he knew, but he was answering your internal thoughts before words could form on your tongue.

“Ils t’ont appelé. J’ai répondu par erreur.” They called you. I answered by mistake. He let out a loud sigh as he leaned against the dresser across from the end of the bed, his forearms flexing as he gripped onto it tightly. You noticed the definition of his muscles and veins forming on his arms. He was squeezing the dresser, trying to gain some relief from such anger swirling within him.

At first, you wanted to argue him for answering your phone. But you knew him. You knew he wasn’t snooping. He said it was a mistake, so you took his word for it.

“Qu’ont-ils dit?” What did they say? You weren’t sure how to approach this conversation with him. You especially were not expecting it to go this way, with you wrapped in only a cotton towel.

His eyes narrowed to an almost imperceptible slit, the vibrant green drained from any warmth of presence. “Are you serious?” The exasperation in his voice reverberated through the room. Your question seemed to strike a nerve, leaving him incredulous. Was that all you had to say? The absence of an explanation hung in the air, adding more tension to the charged atmosphere between you two.

“Ne me crie pas dessus.” Don’t yell at me. You felt your own anger building at his attitude. Who did he think he was? You padded back to your suitcase, grabbing whatever outfit you could without paying attention. You weren’t sure what you even grabbed or if it even matched, but you didn’t care. You were too busy listening to Charles raise his voice.

“Don’t walk away from me.” He pushed off the dresser, trailing behind you. “What is this internship you applied for?”

You didn’t answer right away, instilling more anger within Charles. “Answer me. You’re just going to leave like always?” His tone struck you with disbelief, the harshness leaving an unexpected sting. The air was too intense. You needed to get some air.

Like always?

You turned and faced him. “Are you asking me as my boss or my fuck buddy?” You knew it was a low blow, but it was so unfair for him to be this mean to you. It wasn’t even necessarily his words but his tone that bothered you most. He spoke to you as if you were a child who needed punishing.

You had a shirt half-way over your head and black leggings on. “It’s just a summer internship. I didn’t even do the interview yet, but you seem to know that already.” You waved him off, rushing around the room to get your stuff. You needed to get out of here. You weren’t going to sit here and let him berate you.

“You can’t just leave.” He followed you to the door, gripping your wrist to pull you back towards him. You yanked your arm out of his grip.

“You’re just like everyone else.” His words tumbled out incoherently, much like uncontrollable word vomit. He could feel the panic rising in him as you made your way towards the door. “Right. Use me and then leave. It’s all I’m good for.”

His words twisted your stomach, and you chose to overlook the burning ache in your heart.

“Fine. Just go fuck your ex-boyfriend or something. Or Lando. I know he wants you.” He stood there, chest heaving up and down with his heavy breaths. You pulled the door open, standing in the frame, you took one last glance at him.

“Va te faire foutre.” Go fuck yourself. And with that you were out the door.

-

“Je n’arrive pas à le croire!” I can’t believe him! “C’est vraiment un connard.” He’s really such an asshole.

“Babes, you’re g’na need to speak in English for me to understand,” he laughed before taking a sip of his beer, “you muppet.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at Lando, seated across from you in the elegant ambiance of the hotel restaurant. Adorned in a snug black dress, every curve of your figure accentuated, the crystal jewels meticulously tracing the contours of your breasts. The garment displayed a subtle dip between your cleavage, adding an enthralling touch. It was safe to say you looked fucking good. Or as Lando said, “holy fucking shit, you took the air out of my lungs.” Which in response, you couldn’t resist a playful shove to his shoulder.

In the aftermath of the argument with Charles, you found yourself in the company of Lando, driven partly by Charles’s mention of him. Despite the strained circumstances, your connection with Lando remained strictly platonic. However, Lando’s penchant for flirting was a constant, adding a playful dynamic that colored your friendship. Thankfully for Lando, he was the reason you were able to even get a change of clothes seeing as you left the hotel room earlier in complete disarray. It was still your day off, one that was originally supposed to be spent with Charles. Lorenzo and Charlotte were still taking care of Charles’s daughter, leaving your night wide open.

“Martin’s driver is picking us up soon,” Lando declared, drowning the remainder of his beer and emphatically slamming the bottle onto the table. There was still two more days before the race weekend began, meaning Lando wanted to go out to which you agreed easily. Meanwhile, you maintained a composed sip from your glass of wine. With a playful glint in his eye, Lando added, “Get your dance moves ready muppet.” The prospect of the evening ahead seemed to carry a promise of lively escapades.

Your laughter echoed, creating a buoyant atmosphere as you seamlessly fell into a comfortable conversation with Lando. His easy-going nature and banter helped soothe the lingering nerves from the earlier argument with Charles. In that moment, you felt nothing but gratitude for Lando’s presence.

-

The vibrant lights of the club painted the atmosphere in a kaleidoscope of colors, while the unmistakable scent of alcohol lingered in the air. The club pulsated with energy of the intoxicated crowd, bodies swaying to the vibrations of music surrounding them. It wasn’t until you reached the DJ booth that you felt a wave of reassurance wash over you. 

The night unfolded with a multitude of shots, some in which you had to pretend to take, just to save yourself from vomiting on the floor. The music provided a lively group, thus creating a joyous atmosphere. You surrendered to the rhythm, dancing through the hours, deliberately steering clear of thoughts about the brunette Monegasque who typically occupied your mind.

As you slid out of the booth, making your way to the bathroom, you finally pulled your phone out of your purse. The screen was littered with missed calls and multiple messages, most from nonetheless Charles.

from Charles (dilf)    Where are you?                                              18:45 You’re such a brat.                                          19:19 Really? You’re with Lando?                             22:47 Could your dress be any fucking shorter?    22:51 Tu essaies de me tuer                                  01:27 You’re really testing my patience                01:46

You didn’t answer. Feeling triumphant as you snickered to yourself at his messages, him clearly struggling with the concept of you being out with Lando. Slipping the phone back into your purse, you continued your night, leaving all worries behind. Because if you didn’t, the mere reality of the argument with Charles would have you vomiting on the floor.

-

It was honestly insane how the sun was just beginning to rise. Yet, you and Lando were just stepping foot into the hotel not even a few minutes ago, drunken laughter between you both as you exited the elevator to Lando's floor. No doubt, pictures of you and Lando surfacing all over the internet tonight. But you weren’t worried about that. What you were worried about was the angry brunette standing outside of Lando’s hotel room door, his arms crossed, and eyes tired as if he didn’t sleep the entire night.

You and Lando both sobered up quickly from the sight of him, brooding in front of the hotel door. Charles opened his mouth, utilizing both of your native tongue to exclude Lando from the conversation.

“Tu es putain de sérieuse?” Are you fucking serious? The harsh tone he used drew you back to the argument that had occurred earlier in the day. Or should you say yesterday?

“Que fais-tu ici?” What are you doing here?

He rolled his eyes, teeth gritting as he looked over to Lando smiling beside you with his hotel room key in hand. “Muppet, are you sleeping over, or no? I’m tired.”

Charles didn’t afford you a moment to respond before swiftly shutting him down. The gaze he directed at Lando carried a lethal intensity, a silent warning that spoke volumes. “Absolutely fucking not.” Charles’s grip tightened on your arm, an assertive pull guiding you down the hallway toward the elevator. Surprisingly, you didn’t resist, allowing the momentum to carry you forward. You looked back at Lando who had a smirk on his face and winked at you. What a fucker.

The elevator enveloped you both in an oppressive silence, interrupted only by rhythmic beeping accompanying each floor you ascended. Charles maintained a deliberate gap between you, yet his hand remained firmly clasped around your wrist. In the mirrored surface of the doors, your eyes locked onto each other, breaths syncing. As the doors finally opened, Charles propelled you out with a gentle push, his body behind yours. 

It wasn’t until you both stepped into the hotel room that Charles unleashed a torrent of emotions upon you. His voice, thick with a mixture of anger, jealousy, hurt, and worry, carried the weight of the pent-up emotions he had been harboring. He had seen the stories, the posts, and even the photos of you at dinner, images captured by fans.

The way you smiled at Lando in the pictures had him throwing his phone. And don’t even get him started on the dress. The fucking dress.

“Do you like Lando?” He sneered, jealousy bubbling inside of his chest.

And because you felt like stirring the pot even more, you smirked. “Yes.” And although it was the truth, it wasn’t what Charles thought. You felt bad as you saw his face fall, but he deserved it just for a little bit at the very least.

You could feel all the thoughts racing through Charles head before he pulled you both towards the balcony, staring at the city skyline instead of at you. He pinched the bridge of his nose, his voice thickening with emotion, “What about me? What about us?”

“As a friend.” You finally announced, turning your body to fully face Charles. “I like Lando as a friend, Cha.” You confirmed, a groan leaving your lips. “Do we have to do this right now? I’m so tired and my feet hurt.”

“Oui.” Allowing no room for further complaints, Charles pulled you into an embrace, his arms enveloping you and effectively trapping you between the warmth of his body and the balcony railing. He nestled his head in the crook of your neck, finding a moment of relief in the reassurance that you were back, and in his arms. The tight hold on you spoke of relief.

“You’re mine,” He states. “Label or no label.” He's possessive in the way he speaks and touches you. Like he needs to get his point across. You feel him laugh as his fingers trail around your front side, trailing down until he can slip them up the front of your dress, pressing his fingers to your lace covered core. It was almost too easy. The dress was so short.

The desperate ache in the pit of your tummy grows with each swipe of his thumb along your covered clit. You began to forget why you were even fighting in the first place, his hands on you felt too good. You lulled your head back against him, making more room for his lips to attack on your neck.

Your ability to articulate words faltered, your legs turning to jell-o under his embrace. With one arm securely wrapped around your waist, he became your anchor, ensuring that you remained standing. 

“You want my fingers?” His lips are hot on your ear. He slips his fingers beneath your underwear, feeling just how wet you really are. It was almost too easy. “So fucking wet and warm, mmm.” He groans as he slips one finger inside of you, moving it so slowly that you began to get frustrated with the pace. Your hips rut, trying to speed up his fingers, but he holds you in place removing your ability to move.

Your body begins to tremble as he increases the pace of his finger, inserting another one and curling it, hitting the spot you ached most. You want to cum so badly; you want to soak his fingers and tremble around them. “So greedy.” He takes your ear lobe in between his teeth, nibbling gently on it before trailing his tongue down the rest of your neck. “Taking my fingers so well.”

You groaned, his words pushing you towards your climax quicker than anticipated. He could tell you close with the way you were squeezing his fingers so tightly, and the way your words were almost incoherent. As soon as your arm reached back, your fingers brushing through his hair, he pulled his fingers out of you.

“No!” You half-shrieked at the loss of contact, pulling his hair in the process. Your face blushed and eyebrows furrowed from the loss of his fingers.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He flips your body around, your back flush against the balcony railing now. The breeze continues to blow your hair around, no doubt making a mess of it.

“You tell me you’re mine.” You bite back, refusing to say it first. Charles began laughing, it reverberated in his chest. 

“Oh, mon ange.” He ignores what you say, trailing his eyes down your body. “This fucking dress.” His words are sharp as he begins gripping the ends of your dress and shoving it upwards, exposing you completely to him now. He placed a quick slap of his finger tips to your clit, the shock and sting of the slap turning you on more than you could imagine.

He pulls you forward, hands squeezing your neck, the area right under your jaw line to be more specific, lips immediately pressing against yours. There was nothing gentle about this kiss. It was hot, messy, and wet. A clashing of teeth and tongue as he sucked on your tongue. Leaving you almost no room to breathe in the process. But you didn’t mind, his kisses were intoxicating.

The firm presence of Charles’s hand on your neck persisted, the subtle pressure from the pads of his fingers inducing a dizzying effect. It was a tactile reminder of his control, a touch that left your head spinning, and wanting more. “I’ve always been yours.” He doesn’t let you respond before he’s pulling your lips back to his. This time, his fingers slip back into your heated core, assaulting and curling them just how you needed them. You breathed hotly into his mouth as your orgasm crashed over you. It was quick and hot. Charles could’ve sworn he was going to cum right in his pants at the feeling of you squeezing his fingers, coating them in you. He’s never been more jealous of his fingers in his life.

He flips you around again, fumbling with the button of his pants as he shoves them down, them falling to a pile around his ankles. He wasn’t slow, rubbing the tip of his cock through your slick folds, he teased you both for a little bit.

When he finally slipped into you, you swore you were going to cum again. You had to squeeze the railing harder to prevent yourself from doing so. You wanted to cum with him. 

“Squeezing me so well.” He moaned, the wind picking up and the only glimmer of light was from the sun barely peeping over the horizon. You couldn’t believe you were doing this, out in the open of a hotel balcony, but the thrill of it made it that much more exciting.

“Tu aimes ça, hm?” You like that? He pushes you forward so that your chest was pressed to the railing, your head dangling over the edge as you looked down from the height of the building. Everything looked so small from this height. “Want the whole world to know you’re mine.” He continues.

“Want to fill you up.” You clench hard around him, soft moans escaping your lips into the air in response. Charles couldn’t help but feel his heart pound as he muttered the next words. “Want to fill you up with my cum, want to fuck a baby into you.” 

At first, he was nervous muttering the words aloud. But the clench of your pussy around his cock only eased his nerves. Your moans increasing in volume told him just how much you liked that too.

“Merde,” Shit. You were mewling into the open air, the increase in pace of his hips had you seeing stars. 

“Are you gonna let me?”

“Yes!” You were yelling it repeatedly. His fingers crawled their way around your body, slipping into the dip in the front of your dress and pinching your nipples. He rolled your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“C’mon donne-le moi.” Give it to me. And boy did you. You both came with a loud cry, the sound of his hips slapping into your backside a faint noise compared to the moans. The warmth of his cum seeping into you for the second time in less than 24 hours. Although, you were on the pill, you still liked to play along with the idea of being pregnant. The idea of Charles filling you up turned you on like no other.

You both took a few seconds to recoup, trying to catch your breath. He pulled out slowly, but brought his fingers down, pushing the mixture of both of your cum back inside you. He didn’t want a single drop of it to go to waste. 

He turned you around, bringing your lips to a sweet kiss.

“Je suis désolée.” I’m sorry.  His eyes hold your own. “I should’ve said it sooner. I didn’t mean any of it, I swear. The idea of you leaving had me freaked out, you didn’t deserve any of it. You..”

A small smile graces your lips as you see how genuine he is and you lean up on your tippy toes, bringing your lips back to his. Essentially shutting him up, his hands wrap back around you, lifting you off the ground as he carries you back into the hotel room, both of you collapsing into the bed.

“Even if I got a new job, I’m still yours.” You started. “But actually, there’s this great nanny job I heard about.” Charles feels panic forming in his chest again. But you continue on, “It involves the cutest little girl ever. I also heard that the dad is so hot and cool. Did I mention he’s single?” You joke, laughter erupting between the both of you as he cradles you into his body.

“I don’t think he’s single.”

“Yeah. He definitely isn’t.”

And that was all he needed to hear.

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[sashi-ya]

𝑪𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒙 𝑽-𝒅𝒂𝒚 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 Pulsation +18. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐱 𝐟! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Dear, @valval08 your 𝑷𝒖𝒍𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 bonbon is filled with 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒕 & 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 , please enjoy the taste of 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒔𝒆𝒙

request: @valval08 asked: Hiiiiiii @sashi-ya I’m so glad the spicy won cause lols 😂 I wanted spicy but vote for non spicy by accident. Can I please request Law x female reader with a dulce de leche filling and the pulsations bon bon. Thank you so much!!!! tw: rough sex. impregnation. mentions of pregnancy. vag sex. bitting. choking. wc: 1k | masterlist

Ink lines crossing his skin, the heart in his chest against your back. His knees on the mattress, yours over his thighs. The surgeon of death pulling from your arms back, your tiny pleaded skirt covering the lewd motions of sex against sex.

He goes in and out, so hard. So violently. “La- Law! I- uhh… auch….” “You asked me to be rough, didn’t you… (Name)-ya?”

He has no mercy. He won’t have it even if you ask him to stop. Law is not even making an effort, it’s so natural for him to fuck you this hard.

His tattooed fingers round your neck, expertly applying pressure exactly where it should be done. He can sense your pulse going up on the tip of his fingers, and he wishes to cut that blood flow just to make you dizzy, so damn dizzy. He wants all your blood where it should be; your sex. He wants your anatomy filled up, throbbing, swollen. Law wants your walls to clench tight to his shaft.

“Uhgh- ugh- nggh- L- Law!“ you pant, and also gag. He presses your carotids with his thumb and middle finger, while his index pulls your tongue down as it invades your mouth. You drool, your mascara tinted tears also go down your cheeks. Immoral waterfalls that can only match the wetness of your core.  

Law scoffs, he doesn’t get tired from the thrusts, not in the slightest; “It was such a beautiful makeup you got for valentine’s… and I’m here ruining it” he laughs. And that laughter is the sweetest melody your lightheaded self could catch from around you.

You whimper and whine, just when he decides -from time to time- you can use your throat. He goes for the marks around your neck, he wants his fingertips on your skin, carved, tattooed.

You thought it would be funny if you dared him to fuck you “rough”. You insisted, you played with the idea. You even joke he was soft and delicate… and he promised you would never had to say that… ever again…. “Am I too soft? Too delicate, (Name)-ya? Well, we will see after this romantic dinner”

Law also squeezes your breasts. He goes hard, he doesn’t care. He pinches and twists your nipples, he wants you to scream. And you do, as he pulls so mercilessly from your erected, overly sensitive buttons.

He also bites, from time to time, your shoulders. Because… why wouldn’t he? You wanted it rough, right?

Oh, rough and raw too. raw, so he could fill you up…

“Ngh, (Name)-ya…” he for once goes slower. His hips aren’t killing you as before. You have come, probably twice already but him? Not yet. You can’t help but move on your own, going up and down, sometimes back and forth but most importantly tracing circles with your hips around his hard, drippy sex.

You want to milk him. You really want more. You want his warm release inside you, too.

He tries to stop you, his hands pressing down your lower belly now. He wants you to go slower, but he can’t make it happen. His own hips aren’t responding to his brain, either.

“Don’t- I’m not wearing a condom” he tries to warn you. He is so torn into keep doing it rough, filling you up to the brim, he has fantasized with his own cum dripping out your entrance so many times before.

“Fill me up ~” you purr, making his arms to fully surround your waist. You want to lock him in and around you, and you do with your own arms. You have closed your legs enough so that he is also unable to pull off. -He didn’t, he couldn’t do it, either way-

Law takes a look at the reflection of your bodies in a foggy window of a cheap hotel. It was valentine’s day, there was no time, you didn’t want to waste it searching for a better place. It could have been the car; but there wasn’t enough room, he said.

“You want me to destroy you, and now to get you pregnant (Name)-ya? You want me to fucking get you pregnant?” he asks, this time whispering, short of breath and full of desire, on your ear. “Do you really wanna get filled with my cum? Are you gonna keep it all inside, my sweet little bitch?”

You nod, desperately, humping on top of him, clenching to his throbbing hardness so ready to give the surgeon the so needed relief. “Pl- please, Law… fill me up, get me pregnant, impregnate me”

Law sighs louder, he needs to let go all the tension accumulated in his chest. “Very well, allow me to ~” he moans, going as hard as fast as possible with thrusts that could kill, that make you shiver, that make you weak.

And with a loud grunt, he comes. This time is him who won’t let you stand up. He traps you against his thighs, against his sweaty body. “Keep it there” he growls, kissing your cheek, going as deep as possible, remaining there. Both bodies mixed in one, connected for almost eternity. “Keep it there for me, (Name)-ya… happy valentine’s day, I love you”

“Thank you, my love… it feels so warm…” you mumble, turning to the side to give him sloppy kisses, so full of passion and lust. “Don’t move until the last drop is inside me… I love you~”

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

🪓 Nerdy Prudes Must Die - Some Thoughts 🪓

I decided to rewatch NPMD (second day in a row 🙈) and wanted to write down some random thoughts and reactions because why the fuck not 😌

‼️ SPOILERS FOR NPMD BELOW ‼️

I loved this show from the second it started omg I love things about murder 🤭

“Riiiiichie… Riiiiiichie…” — kind of gave off IT vibes ngl

They really killed off Jon Matteson’s nerd character in the first 35 seconds 💀

“They twisted his nipples off 🤣” - WHY WAS HE SO HAPPY ABOUT IT

THE PROJECTION OF THE TITLE IN THE VICTIM’S BLOOD, STARKID HAD HELLA BUDGET FOR THIS SHOW 🙌🏻

“🎵I’m dead…the blood is arbitrating from my head🎵” needs to become a trending TikTok sound or something oh my fucking gOD

LAUREN YOU QUEEN 🙌🏻👏🏻 also living for that fucking wig

MARIAHHHHHHH 🎵❤️

Definitely felt the “High School is Killin’ Me” “I’m so fucking dead” in my soul even though I’m a full ass adult now

“I was deep in a Twitter fight about a problematic puppy” ROFL OMFG

Joey as Peter Spankoffski 😭👏🏻

ANGELA AS GRACE CHASITY HELL FUCKIN YEAH SHE IS EATING THIS PART UP

We all knew someone at school who snitched to the teachers lbh 💀

“So you don’t wanna be bullied?” “No, I wanna be invisible.” “…then why do you come to public school dressed in suspenders and a fucking bow tie?” - PLEAAAASE 💀🤣

MICRO-PETER 😂💀

Joey taking off his glasses and going “oh god” under his breath, “IT’S NOT ACTUALLY A MICROPENIS”… oh he ATE the role, R*bert who?!?

“My titties are tenderised” - I MEAN SAME BUT-?!?

“I didn’t know you were funny.” “Neither did I.” “I like funny guys.” — I AM SORRY BUT IM ALREADY SHIPPING HARD

Actually obsessed with Richie’s hair and outfit like I can’t explain it other than I’m obsessed

IT’S MAX JÄGERMAN

“Ohh well there’s a difference between intent and impact - I learnt that at an anti bullying assembly last month, FUCK NUGGET” took me off guard tbh like I know I’m tired and easily surprised but still 🤭

GRACE CHASITY PROTESTING THE CO-ED HOMECOMING DANCE I CANNOT-

Jägerman is literally the archetype of the school bully jock who peaked in high school like omg but also he’s into Grace?!?!

“I run laps in the gym and I don’t want to slip on any SPUNK” - FUCKING HELL

“Can I carry your books for you?” “Carry my books? 🤢 I don’t think either of us are ready for that, I mean we’re only 18!”

“My little dirty girl.” — 😳😲😮‍💨

“I am only one man’s girl, Max, and his name is Jesus Christ!” — IM FUCKING HOWLING ANGELA KILLED THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE I CANT-

“I’m a literal monster!” - oh so Max is self aware then 🤔

“This is politics, Stephanie 🙄 learn to multitask!”

I love that Starkid keep casting Corey as Mariah’s dad?!?

Stephanie is apparently her father’s “October surprise”… so her birthday is in October, like Hannah Foster’s? 🤔

“Stephanie, please, I’d like to have an intelligent conversation with you - in other words, shut up” - DAMN WHAT A BURN

NOOO NOT HER PHONE 😰 (I am also addicted to my phone so I get it lol)

NOT STEPHANIE THROWING HER HAND BETWEEN HER PHONE AND THE HAMMER OMFG (same though)

Mayor Lauter really said “I don’t give a shit if you lie, steal or cheat to get your grades up, just don’t get caught” - spoken like a true politician

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?!?” probably should not have resonated with me like it did 🤭

Peter trying to make a joke and Richie and Ruth not getting it is so relatable tbh

I’m obsessed with Ruth’s mushroom jumper tbh

“I just want someone to touch me… anyone, PLEASE” — ROFL (same girl)

“What was it like when she touched your arm?… DID YOU CUM?!?” — 💀💀💀💀

“You and Steph, it’s a fantasy - like a boy and his anime love pillows. It’s a beautiful dream, but I’ll never hold the real Rei or Asuka in my arms.” — I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

“I’m such a loser, telemarketers hang up on me” 💀😭

DID RICHIE JUST FUCKING SAY “NANI!” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANT DEAL WITH THIS SHOW 🤣

Richie and Ruth climbing Pete like a tree and demanding to know what Stephanie is saying is so ridiculously funny 😆

“Really, Ruth? A Star Wars analogy? Need I go into why Attack on Titan is superior in every possible way?” — STARKID UNDERSTAND THE NERDS I LOVE IT

“You’re telling me I gotta be funny again?!? I didn’t do it on purpose the first time!”

“Pete, you’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity - someone’s willing to tolerate your presence for a whole evening! This may never happen again!” — damn wish that would happen to me 😭🙈

Not Pete getting a boner during “Cool as I think I am” 🙈

Nooooo not Max finding Pete before he could go into the restaurant to meet Stephanie 😭

“I’m sick of your ssshhhhit!” — YES PETEY STAND UP TO HIM

The fact Max said “Rendezvous” as “Randay-Voose” 💀

The way it transitioned from “say your prayers” to the Chasity family going “AMEN” was PERFECTION

Grace’s father referring to his wife as “mother” is…something 💀

“He came up to me in the hallway and he asked if he could carry my books.” “Oh, Mark - I didn’t know that sort of thing happened at Hatchetfield High! Do you think you should call the boy’s father?” — ?!?!?!

“Mom, will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? (Chuckles nervously) I just want some head and butter. BREAD! Bread! Bread and butt-sex to go with this big shaft of meat I’m gonna choke down. Oh boy…oh criminy!” - THE SCREECH I GAVE WAS UNHOLY

“I’ve just got some butterflies in my tummy; and they’re flying REAL low today” 😭💀🙈

GRACE FANTASISING ABOUT MAX IN THE BATH I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

“Brewing up a big ol’ pot of dirty girl soup” - ABSOLUTELY NOT 💀

HES FUCKING SHIRTLESS WHAT THE FUCK-

“Everyone’s got their secrets, and this one’s mine. I love… Jesus! 😃” - this was when I definitely knew she was fantasising because ain’t no fucking way-

WAS THE DIRTY GIRL SONG SUPPOSED TO BE VIEWED AS HOT BECAUSE I AM VERY FLUSTERED AND CONFUSED AND TOTALLY VIBING WITH THE TUNE

🎵 DIRTY DIRTY GIRL WON’T YOU PRAY FOR ME🎵

You see, if Christian parents didn’t repress their teenager’s hormones and sexuality then MAYBE their teenagers wouldn’t resort to murder 🙃

Grace’s dad saying he’s going to get the plunger when she said she was doing a big poop 😭💀

Grace really thinks that impure thoughts only happen after marriage and I almost envy her innocence

“Money isn’t everything… looks are.” - yeah no that about sums people up in this day and age 😑

“We thought you were waifu material, but you’re just a bully” — NOT WAIFU MATERIAL 💀

PETE’S BLACK EYE NOOOO 😭🥺

Grace is kind of a psychopath and I’m loving that for her tbh

“I’m not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language” but she’s comfortable with filming someone getting terrified and pissing their pants 💀

The “the place is not structurally sound” comment was DEFINITELY foreshadowing

“I get pus in my pits!” Jesus ☠️

🎵🤌🏻we’re gonna bully the bully🤌🏻🎵

“We’re gonna cut off his nips!” - what is with the obsession with n!pples in this show 😳

I’M SORRY BUT THIS IS ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WHEN THEY TALKED ABOUT KEEPING THE BEANS COOL

“You’re like super nice to me 😀” “…not really. I’m just doing the bare minimum here.” “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” “Oh, that’s sad!” — 😂😅🤣

“Okay, Richie, be honest… Am I reading as ghost or Lin Manuel Miranda” — OH FUCKING GOD IM CACKLING

“You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown” 💀 FOURTH WALL BREAK?!?

Max must be VERY drunk because ain’t no way he thought Pete was a ghost or Ruth was actually a skeleton 💀

“Grace, we gotta abort the plan, it’s not working!” “It’s working for me, he’s so violent! 😍”

Not Max actually being touched by them putting this whole thing together for him 💀 very much giving off himbo vibes and I love him for that

MAX FELL THREE STOREYS

Oh my GOD THE FUCKING MAKE UP ON MAX FOR HIS DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT

“NERDY! PRUDES! MUST! DIE!” — oh hey it’s the name of the show! 😃 And also it was written on the wall in… oh 😳

“I did get a lot of incriminating footage of us luring him here with malicious intent!” - uh oh

“My god! We’re going to jail! And with my luck, no one will even bother making me their bitch!” — PLEASE 💀

“It wasn’t murder, and it wasn’t an accident… it was an act of God! 😇” - Grace is UNHINGED

“No more tickling in our mommy spots!” - OUR WHAT SPOTS?!?

“🎵🤌🏻 We’re gonna bury the body! 🤌🏻🎵”

“Oh no she’s snapping again”

“I just cut off his nips 😌” - again with the nips?!?

DAN AND DONNA 😃😃😃

“Two weeks of heartache” - cut to all of his classmates happy without his influence 💀

STEPH PASSED THE TEST! 😃

“Ya know, this is really your C+.” “Oh Steph… you can keep it. It’d really bring down my GPA.”

Steph asking Pete out to the football game 🥹😁 we love to see it!

GO GO NIGHTHAWKS! 😃🦅 (I know it’s an eagle emoji there’s no hawk emoji 🙈)

“N, I-G, H-T… *squawk squawk* Ks!” 👏🏻🙌🏻

Richie is the team mascot and they wanted/needed him in the huddle 🥹

They apologised for bullying him 😭👏🏻

“And we’d like to apologise in advance for if Max ever comes back, ‘cause we’ll probably go right back to doing it”

“Fuck Clivesdale! Fuck ‘em straight to hell! Assholes!” — AGREED! 👏🏻

I’m 90% sure Jon actually struggled with taking that mascot top off but it worked well with the scene so 😌

“I love being alive! 😃” — oh he’s so about to fucking die, isn’t he?

IT’S MAX CALLING FOR RICHIE HES BACK FROM THE DEAD

MAX’S COSTUME/MAKE UP IS AMAZING OH MY GOD 😌💅🏻

“Should’ve joined the smoke club you nerdy prude” — ANOTHER SMOKE CLUB REFERENCE

Every song on this soundtrack fucking slaps I LOVE IT

There’s not very many men that can pull off being absolutely absolutely fucking terrifying while dancing and singing across the stage but Will Branner managed it so kudos to him

The bit where Richie was repeating what Max said (“who will pray for me? When I’m gone?”) was INSANELY GOOD

“What did they find? You don’t say…you don’t say!” “What’d they find, dad?” “They didn’t say” - 💀

“Oh heck… I’m so hecking fudged”

“*relieved* Oh well we don’t know anything about that one!” “Or ANY one!”

“Maybe it’s a coincidence. People tell me to die every day!” — Okay why is Ruth kind of me 😭

THE FUCKING CAMEOS IN “HATCHET TOWN” ASDFGHJKL?!?! ZIGGY?! MAN IN A HURRY?!? GERALD MONROE?!?

“Ohhh I remember before the lockdown” - yeah me too 😅

THE BARBECUE MONOLOGUES GOT ME HOLLERING 💀

Ruth walking onto the stage and into the spotlight 🥺 literally she was me this whole scene omg I relate so hard to most of what she said ASDFGHJKL

Lauren ATE that song up by the way

MAX KILLED HER BY WEDGIE-ING HER IN TWO AND THEN PUT THE PANTS OVER HER HEAD WHAT THE FUCK MAX 😭

Him telling her to “project” so those in the back row could hear her triggered me so bad as an actor omg 😳

Grace really accusing the entirety of Clivesdale 💀

As soon as the WWJD bracelet was brought up I KNEW what was going on 😭

“Who’s plan was it, Grace?” “It was God’s plan! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! Do something, you son of a bitch!” 💀😅🤣

Grace has lost her fucking SHIT and I fully support that for her

“Show Me Your Hands” musical refrain?!

BEANIES?!? PAUL AND EMMA?!? 😭😭😭 ITS FUCKING PAUL AND EMMA I CANNOT-

“Cup of roasted coffee” refrain too?!?

PAUL GAVE EMMA HIS NUMBER 😭❤️

PAUL + EMMA IN EVERY SINGLE TIMELINE, EVERY SINGLE UNIVERSE-

“EXCUSE ME I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FIVE FUCKING YEARS AND I STILL HAVE NOT RECIEVED MY GODDAMN HOT CHOCOLATE” 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀😂😂😂😂😂 I FUCKKING CANT IM DONE

🎵”Don’t need a lover boy need a lover man / sure I’m a sapiosexual and you’re intellectual but I’ll cut my lover losses when I can” 🎵 — this song goes so hard omg

Grace pushing between them and shouting “leave room for Jesus!” 💀

“Do we need to get ahold of Ruth?” “Good luck getting ahold of her. Does your phone pls cover calls to hell?” “…Hell?” “She’s bisexual and dead, where else would she be?!?” — 💀

Grace whipping out the gun and telling Steph to cool her beans was so iconic of her

“(Canadian accent) ‘Cause if I’m going down, you hosers comin’ with me, eh” — OH MY FUCKING GOD

Doesn’t shock me a cop would arrest Paul for zero fucking reason, fuck the police 💀

“All I wanted was to be a regular girl with no sexual desire until she was safely married 😭” the FUCK-

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fuckin’ weird” 💀

“I don’t give a shit who you kill - but you just had to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?” — Mayor Lauter really said “murder is fine but NOT in that specific house, you fucking idiots”

THE LORDS IN BLACK?!? 😃 WIGGLY AND BLINKY AND POKEY AND NIBBLY AND TINKY?!?!? FUCK YEAAAAHH

“She gave me head in her car - check it out!” *throws Miss Tessburger’s head onstage* — BRO THE FUCK

WELP I GUESS MAYOR LAUTER IS DEAD THEN?!?

“Detective Shapiro, are you a woman of faith?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no” — THE FUCK GRACE 😑

They’re really about to summon five otherworldly entities who are evil I’m-

The Summoning screams CRACK and I’m living for it

“Hello Fwendy-Wends” - SCREAMING LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING

“WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE” TOOK ME OUT ASDFGHJKL

SHE CHERISHES PETE 😭

“Pay the price or fuck off” 💀

Can I just say that I need would love a show specifically just about the Lords in Black fucking about and it’s Jon the whole time as Wiggly exactly as he was during the Summoning scene because that was AMAZING IM SHAKING-

The fact Pete cherishes Steph and she cherishes him oh my hEART 😭

“Hey Steph, if things were different, would you wanna come to homecoming with me?” “I’d like that, Pete. I’d really like that.” - SHUT THE FUCK UP NO 😭😭😭

Not Max saving Pete from being shot 💀

“So you do know the Bible!” — GRACE OMG IM SCREECHING HELP

“But Jesus never threw a football like you, Max” - WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

Max being confused about what dirty girl soup is and then being turned on when she explains 😭💀

“Take me, Max, right here on the 50 yard line!” — oh dear gOD

Max’s struggle over whether to kill Steph and Pete or whether to bang Grace omfg 😭😅

THE NOISES OFF STAGE OMFG WTAF 😭💀😂😅🤣

Grace got Max kicking his feet, twirling his hair, after one shag, just like a teenage girl 💀 I’m crying so hard with laughter I can’t cope with it-

GRACE GAVE HIM HER CHASTITY AND SACRIFICED WHAT SHE CHERISHED MOST ASDFGHJKL

PETE AND STEPHANIE AT HOMECOMING TOGETHER ASDFGHJKL ✨T H E M ✨

Grace choosing not to get the dance cancelled and she brought a date?!? That’s character development! 😀

She let Jason walk her home?!? O_o and then asked him to kiss her?!?!

“That was… absolutely disgusting! Really, Jason?!? Kissing on the first date?!?” Oh noooo 💀

“You’re a dirty perv, Jason”

SHES GOT THE FUCKING BLACK BOOK IS SHE SUMMONING THEM AGAIN

🎵DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE🎵

Well thIS TOOK A FUCKING TURN DAMN

Anyway, 11/10, immaculate, amazing, incredible, show-stopping, would recommend to everyone of course and will definitely be rewatching it a LOT 🪓

[suzteel]

Ok it’s own post because I am OBSESSED with the bodyguard lunch scene in this episode. It’s like literally my favorite scene. Like…even my face VP scenes don’t top this scene for me.

Ok so god where to start. Let’s just go from the beginning:

Pete’s “Disneyland!🤗” joke is so fucking funny. Especially after looking so annoyed while waiting for Porsche to wake up. (This poor man has probably had to help carry the new guy’s unconscious body twice in like a month. I would be put out too.)

The fucking music shifting from this very light comedic beat to a fucking alarm when Vegas shows up kills me every time. No subtlety at all. This man is a walking red flag and the show wants you to know it 😂

Pete being SO jumpy. So many people have talked about his jumpiness in this scene over the past year but goddamn, it kneecaps me every time thinking about it with the full context of his past.

The fact that Vegas has barely sat down before Kinn shows up. You just KNOW Kinn was in the other room trying to hide his longing stares while he thought about Porsche and so he immediately saw Vegas make his way to the table and was like “oh hell no, bitch.”

One again a costuming note: Kinn in gray robes with Porsche, Arm, and Pol on one side of the table, Vegas and Pete in black on the other side.

This cheese ad is the second funniest ad on the show (after the bread obviously). Bible’s smiles especially are just…insanely funny.

Honestly wish we’d had more Kinn and Vegas scenes. The tension in this scene is sooooo good. I also love how Vegas kind of lights up when he realizes hitting on Porsche genuinely gets under Kinn’s skin. Before that he was just doing what his father asked, but now he smells the blood in the water. And he’s looking to make Kinn bleed as much as he can. I adore him bringing up Tawan here. He’s probably been waiting so long for an opportunity like this one.

TANKHUN WITH THE STEEL PAN

Lord, do I have thoughts about Tankhun in this scene. First of all, 100% big brother protection mode here. He heard that line about Tawan; you can’t convince me otherwise, ok? Secondly, I think it’s the first time we really see the original heir Tankhun come through. He has no fear of retaliation for assaulting Vegas. You know, the scary guy who tortures people for fun. But this is the Main Family territory. It’s Khun’s territory. So he does as he pleases, even to the Minor Family. But the moment Vegas is gone, he shifts right back to spoiled, petulant Khun Nu.

And Vegas…leaves. It’s actually one of those super telling moments about how unbalanced the dynamic between the two families really is. Macau is physically assaulted in episode two, and the Minor Family has to demand the lowly guard who did it be punished (instead of just doing it themselves). Vegas is physically assaulted by Tankhun here, and he has to shrug it off and leave. It’s so easy to see how these kind of little indignities have piled up over the years, festering. The toxicity carried over from their parents.

I just…I love this scene so much. It’s tells us so much about these characters in such a short period of time, it’s so funny and dramatic. It’s delightful. And it was probably THE moment for me when this show went from “eh enjoyable enough” to “ok you got me, I’m hooked.” Fave scene, hands down.

[aftrshour]

POSH AND BELLS — JUDE BELLINGHAM

summary: you’re a famous singer and he’s a famous soccer player.

fc: halle bailey

W/N:basically david beckham and victoria (from spice girls) story. i have a fanfic about that on wattpad!!! excuse me for my bad english, not my first language

ynposh

Liked by judebellingham, yfnbaby and others.

ynposh living a dream!!!

View all comments.

yfnsporty living this dream togetheeeeer!

ynposh my sisters 🩷

sabrinacarpenter oh i’m in love w you

ynposh STOP 🛑 ✋

spicegirls shout out to our posh one!

user now i understand why is she the posh one

user1 not jude liking a spice girl pic

user2 leave my baby alone from these soccer drama

ynposh

Liked by oliviarodrigo, conangray and others.

ynposh incredible experience, even if i don’t understand what was going on

View all comments.

yfnsporty i tried to explain but she kept asking WHY

ynposh I’M SO SORRY

yfnbaby not you going to a football game just bc of the VIEW

ynposh yeah… the view…

user4 GIRL

dovecameron girl i feel u

ynposh and it’s all good u know

realmadrid she didn’t understand but the girl CHEERED

ynposh I LOVE YOU MADRIDISTAS

judebellingham i can teach you

ynposh 🧐

user i mean the man shoot his shot

vinijr he definitely did 😂

user TELL US MORE

user1 i’m so invested in this

user2 ong jude why a spice girl

user3 bc she’s the prettiest girl on EARTH

ynposh

Liked by sabrinacarpenter, spicegirls and others.

ynposh celebrating in madrid!!!

View all comments.

yfnscary they know how to party

ynposh THEY DOOO

yfnginger girl i saw u, what was THAT

ynposh the man loves his family and that’s BEAUTIFUL

user not posh simping over a football player

judebellingham im keeping the ticket

ynposh read the number in it

user1 man that’s REVOLUCIONARY

user2 they’re elite

user3 not the football player, yn!!!

user4 let the girl LOVE

user5 who is the guy?

user6 i feel like this is a joke

ynposh

Liked by realmadrid, vinijr and others.

ynposh WHO IS THAAAT?

View all comments.

yfnsporty yn wasn’t sleeping and i thought “that’s suspicious”

ynposh yeah, i slept on the car, couldn’t resist

yfnbaby the caption is literally all the internet rn

ynposh yeah we know 😂

sabrinacarpenter listening to the weeknd, right?

ynposh GIRL you nasty 👀

judebellingham WHO IS THAAAAT?

aurelientchm that’s literally u man, and coach is going to KILL u for driving 6 hours to see her

vinijr 😂 how dumb can i person be????

ynposh don’t say that about my fav one! love u tchouameni

user i mean this is getting interesting

user1 tea time: coach doesn’t like posh

user2 tea time: i think jude doesn’t care

user3 we’re gonna have songs about this

user4 welcome to the best team in the world, posh

user5 u crazy?

judebellingham

Liked by realmadrid, lukamodric10 and others.

judebellingham posh and bells

View all comments.

vinijr what a couple!

aurelientchm the man manifested when we saw her concert and he said “i’m gonna marry the posh one”

brahim THE COUPLE 🔥🔥

joselumato THEM

camavinga i called that when i said to him that yn was watching our game that day

lucasvazquez91 just to say… they’re royalty

jobebellingham yn >>> jude

spicegirls HEY JUDE 👋

ynposh bells and posh 🤍

user they’re the moment, and we’re just living it

user1 the fact that they’re the most successful in both careers

user2 adopt me PLEASE

[harrywavycurly]

Hello I’m just here to selfishly ask for some FWB conversations because I miss them😭

Hiii babes!! I miss them too so I hope you enjoy these little convos between this wild ass couple😂💖

-find all things FWB Eddie here✨

*Eddie isn’t a fan of what your wearing but you don’t really care*

“What…the fuck is that?” “It’s called a skirt…what? Why are you looking at me like that?” “Where’s the fucking rest of it?” “The rest of it?…are you trying to say it’s short or something?” “I’m saying if a gust of winds happens to blow by it’s gonna take that tiny ass piece of denim with it.” “You’re so dramatic…can we go to dinner now please I’m fucking starving.” “You want to leave the house in that? Absolutely not happening.” “Then go get dinner and bring it back.” “What?” “If you won’t let me wear it out if the house then fine…you go get dinner and bring it back?” “I…okay…yeah sure I can do that…so you’ll be in this outfit…when I get back?” “Yes? Why?” “Just checking…” “can you go now?” “Oh right…yeah yeah I’ll be right back.”

“Edward James Munson why the fuck are you in this office right now?” “I…can explain everything.” “Please fucking do…and if it’s drug related I’m kicking your ass.” “Baby! Jesus Christ don’t mention drugs in a fucking police station.” “What the fuck happened?” “I ran into Jason…” “oh my god…did you kill him? Are you in here for murder?” “What? No I didn’t murder him…I did…uh maybe..hit him a few times.” “With your van?” “For the love of god please stop talking until we get out of the station you are going to get me arrested.” “Don’t be an asshole when I’m the one who had to leave work to come pick your ass up…now let’s go so I can beat your ass in the parking lot away from Jim’s prying eyes.” “Just…be gentle will you?” “As if you’ve ever liked it when I’m gentle.” “That’s…true.”

“Why are you here?” “Uh because you’re my girlfriend? And we have plans?” “Plans?…what are these plans?” “Oh shit what day is it?” “Friday…” “Oh fuck yeah sorry…I have plans with my other girlfriend.” “Thank god because I have a date with a bubble bath and some wine…tell her hello and ask if she’ll trim your nails they’re getting a little long.” “Baby come on…we have dinner plans.” “No we don’t…that’s your other girlfriend so go bother her and give me a night off.” “I can get you off tonight…” “you’re so fucking annoying…I really want to take a bubble bath I’ve had a long week.” “I can join you? I’ll let you trim my nails…” “and play with your hair?” “Yes…I’ll let you play with my hair.” “Fine…just come inside then…make a sex joke about that and I’ll smack you.”

[sserpente]

Loki Season 2 – Episode 1 RECAP

HERE WE GO AGAIN! FINALLY! LET’S DO THIS, SHALL WE?

As always, HEAVY SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 1 BELOW THE CUT!

Also from now on, as usual, in addition to the keep reading tags, I will tag posts that contain spoilers with the hashtag "#loki season 2 spoilers" and "#loki spoilers" so you can filter them from your dashboard until you're ready!

Did I stay up until 3 a.m. to watch the first episode again? Yes. Yes, I did.

We are starting off so damn STRONG. Damn it, I just wanted to hug Loki so bad. He’s been through so much shit and he was so heartbroken and desperate! Imagine you get to cup his face and just tell him to take a deep breath with you! What made it even more painful was the moment he fully realised that Mobius didn’t recognise him—his one friend, the one person who likes him for who he is… and he doesn’t remember him… and then the relief on his face when was in the right place again!

Loki was so panicked about the impending war. For good reason, obviously but it truly shows that Thor: Ragnarok lied. Loki wouldn’t be a bad king, now hear me out—in The Avengers, Thanos had the upper hand. You all remember that one scene where he sort of backtracks and says “It’s too late… it’s too late to stop it…” but can’t join forces with Thor because The Other was watching him? Loki understands the sacrifice for sure and in the first Thor film, when he tried to wipe out Jötunheim, what I believe is that he wanted to prevent the war that Thor himself had started by attacking those Jötuns. Loki’s not about violence and causing pain and destruction, he just got caught in the middle of it several times, and circumstances forced him into choices that were not heroic. We knew that already, of course… but it’s nice to see that reflected in the series. Besides, we don’t need him to be a hero. We just need him to be Loki. 🥰

The jokes were spot-on, not too silly, not out of place, in my opinion, but sprinkled in just right so far. Skin? Also, can we please talk about the warning on the floor that said Spaghettification? Come on! 😂😂😂

Now in that sense, O.B. is indeed brilliant. A lovely and light addition to the serious bureaucracy of the TVA for sure!

I really wasn’t worried about Loki making it back safely, somehow. Let’s face it, they wouldn’t have killed him in the first episode of Season 2. With that being said… I hope for their sake he stays safe at the end too, otherwise, I will hurt a lot of people! 🙂

X5… X5, what are we gonna do with him? I hate him. Of course, I do. He’s got something about him that just makes you want to slap him in the face. 😒

Now there are two questions we immediately ask ourselves, right? Where, or rather, when did Sylvie come from? And who pruned Loki? Was it another Sylvie, or another Loki? Another Mobius? B15? An antagonistic character who realised their wrongs? A new character? A Kang Variant? They’ve definitely left us some loose ends! 🤔

And lastly… it’s absolutely heartbreaking to see how much Loki cares for Sylvie despite what happened at the end of Season 1. She basically betrayed him! For reasons Loki understands, of course, but still… it broke his heart… and hence it broke mine. He was so ready to stop the others from going after her even though he was facing the very gruesome time slipping problem. 😭

If you’ve seen the video I posted earlier, you’ll know that I have already seen Episode 2 as well today. I won’t lose a word about that one until next week though! 😉 All I’m gonna say is that we’re in for a treat. 😏

PS: I want that TVA handbook as a notebook for my writing.

[lunathebee]

Just saw your dialog request thing! And can I say oh my god! Can you do 9 and 7 please, but no dying, I can’t handle angst 😂

Pairing: Namor x human!fem!reader

Warning: mention of blood

A/n: no dying?? hmmm,it took me awhile to come up with something lol

Dialogue prompt #7: "In k’áatech" ― "I love you?" ― "Your Mayan is getting better In yakunaj (my love)"

Dialogue prompt #9: "Open your eyes, my love, my moon. I'm begging you...please. The war is over; we won... but without you, it doesn't matter to me anymore."

"I should have known better." Namor shook his head and glared at Y/n, his eyes no longer soft and full of love anymore; they were icy cold and sleek like a dagger, preparing to strike. "You're just like all the humans on land, foolishly thinking some negotiation could solve everything."

Y/n takes a deep breath to control her rage. Namor has always been stubborn, ever since the first day they met; but she knows that beneath it all, he is a soft-hearted person, a king who cares about his people's well-being, and a charming man to say the least.

But there are moments like right now that make Y/n feel like her lover is a totally different person.

"All I’m saying is the war could be prevented, and NEVER compare me like that when I—I myself was willing to become a Talokanil for you... UgH..you know what? Fine" Y/n stormed off to put on her armor and breathing mask as Namor watched in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" He asks while following her with caution.

Y/n doesn’t answer as she picks up a spear, admiring how sharp the blade is before Namor takes it from her hand in anger. "Don’t make me ask again, In Yakunaj (my love)" He lowered his head and whispered in Y/n’s ears, watching her reaction.

"Can’t you see? If you don’t want peace and my advice, the least I could do is fight alongside you." Y/n smirks. "And maybe I can be there to watch how you lose the war that you started first."

Namor can feel his head fuming with anger for a moment; his lover sure knows how to mess with him. Namor has always taken pride in his superhuman strength and power; never in a million years would he think about losing a fight. "Nice joke Sirenita (little siren)"

Y/n likes it when Namor calls her by that nickname; there are many things that she has regretted in the past, but loving him is definitely not one of them.

“Now…can I have my spear back and go with you? Namora and Attuma must be tired of waiting for us In ajawo' (my king)”

===𓆝 𓆟 𓆞===

"¡Líik’ik Talokan!" Namor yelled out loud before watching his people jump fearlessly from the water onto land, easily overpowering all the enemies.

Y/n on the other hand is struggling to fight; after all, she is a human, and her abilities can't compare to a Talokanil warrior. 

"Tsk tsk, what do we have here? Your skin isn’t blue like those freaks" A guy ripped off Y/n’s breathing mask while forcing a knife near her throat. "You don’t need this, honey; you are a human, aren’t you?"

The woman gritted her teeth in anger, unaware of how the guy already had another knife digging slowly into her stomach.

"Y/n!" Namor’s voice booming from above caught her attention; it turned out he had been looking for her when she went missing, flying and scanning the whole area.

But it's not just Y/n who is aware of Namor's presence; the bad guy holding her hostage is as well.

"Fuck, you're dead to me" he muttered, and before Y/n could comprehend what was happening, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, causing her to cry out loudly.

Y/n watched the guy run for his life before being killed immediately by Namor's trident falling from the sky. "KILL THEM ALL!" The king yelled, furious at seeing his lover get hurt.

Y/n doesn’t know what is happening or what happen after that, but the headache and dizziness are making her slowly become unconscious. Is this the end?

"Open your eyes, my love, my moon. I'm begging you, please. The war is over; we won... but without you, it doesn't matter to me anymore" Namor cried out while holding Y/n close to him.

"I’m okay; I will be okay... But geez, it did hurt."

The sudden answer made the king widen his eyes in shock and happiness. His lover is okay, but how?

"The armor saved my life." Y/n smiled, as if she knew what Namor would ask. "Well... I would say that it didn’t do a very good jo-"

Her sentence was cut off by a deep and fierce kiss; the action took Y/n by surprise, but she happily joined in, deepening it.

Namor broke the kiss before pulling Y/n’s head closer to his, their foreheads touching. "In k’áatech"

"I love you?"

"Your Mayan is getting better, In yakunaj (my love)"

Y/n smiles at Namor's praise before pulling him closer, yearning for another kiss.

[blackwolfstabs]

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 25

MOVIE

The Core Four + more go to see the FNAF movie.

Chad added Mindy to the group.

Chad added Tara to the group.

Chad added Sam to the group.

Chad added Danny to the group.

Chad added Kirby to the group.

Chad added Gale to the group.

Chad named the group chat “🐻🐰 FNAF 🦊🐤”.

Chad: Made this bc we can’t talk during the movie. I’m gonna start by saying that kid showed all signs of being kidnapped tf? Mike shouldn’t have been fired for that 😑

Tara: actually u made it bc Mindy told us to “shut the fuck up” lol

Tara: but fr fr

Mindy: ARE YOU SERIOUS?? You made a chat…

Chad: Yup

Gale: This defeats the whole purpose of watching the movie.

Sam: And phones aren’t allowed in the theater.

Tara: oh really?? Kirby r u gonna arrest us for texting in the movie theater???

Chad: I’m not gonna be able to stay quiet. I have thoughts and I must speak them.

Chad: Somebody quote that

Danny: Quoted.

Kirby: No, I’m not but I might mute the chat fr

Chad: Thank you Danny 🫡

Gale: Seriously. How are you all going to text and watch at the same time?

Sam: Bet it’s just going to turn into Chad and Tara texting “wait what just happened” after ever moment the music gets loud and they were too busy looking at their phones

Chad: Joke’s on YOU Sam cuz you’ll be missing the movie trying to tell us what happened lmfao

Tara: yeah and that’s literally ur boyfriend all the time. Danny’s clueless 24/7. #sendhelp4danny

Kirby: Just watch the damn movie!

Danny: replied to “yeah and that’s literally ur boyfriend all the time. Danny’s clueless 24/7. #sendhelp4danny”: What was just said on screen?

Tara: . . . . .

Sam: That’s what I thought. #sendhelp4Tarabcshesclueless in the chat

Danny: emphasized “That’s what I thought. #sendhelp4Tarabcshesclueless in the chat”

Danny: #sendhelp4Tarabcshesclueless

Kirby: #sendhelp4Tarabcshesclueless

Gale: #sendhelp4Tarabcshesclueless

Chad: #sendhelp4sam&dannybctheyareannoying&interruptingthemovie

Sam: 🖕

Tara: PFFT

Mindy: HOLY FUCKING SHIT AKJBDFLADSGFLWKSKLBFLA EVERYBODY SHUT UP STEVE RAGLAND LOOKS JUST LIKE STU MACHER HOLY FUCK

Gale: No fucking way…

Kirby: OMFG YES FUCKING WAY

Sam: I’m uncomfortable

Chad: God Mindy you’re such a nerd

Tara: she’s not wrong tho fuck. . . 🫢

Danny: Who?

Mindy: STU MACHER THE ONE WHO WAS KILLED BY THE TV IN THE OG STAB!!! HE WAS THE OTHER GHOSTFACE ALONGSIDE BILLY LOOMIS

Tara: see??? i told u. buddy’s cLuElEsS xD

Sam: Tara, will you stop?

Danny: Oh okay.

Tara: no

Gale: Wait, isn't there that conspiracy that he didn’t die and is still alive?

Chad: So what, he became an actor and is in FNAF?? 😂

Tara: could be a doppelganger?? i’m convinced we all have one running around the world somewhere lol

Mindy: Uhhhhh YEAH OBVIOUSLY

Gale: It’s not Stu Macher, Mindy.

Mindy: But what if it is?

Tara: sPoOkY 👻

Kirby: Does anyone want any popcorn? I can pass it down

Tara: yes pls

Tara: ok 🛑‼️KAREN ALERT‼️🛑 this aunt jane lady is a full-blooded KAREN fr

Danny: 👆

Chad: Karen facts

Sam: True that

Mindy: Yeah it’s her first scene and she’s already annoying the shit out of me

Tara: gEt hEr oUtTa hErE

Tara: why can i see that being Gale tho?? PFFT

Kirby: LMFAO I see it 🙋🏼‍♀️

Sam: Soooo ur saying Gale’s a Karen????

Tara: yes

Kirby: I can’t unsee it

Chad: Bahahaha!

Mindy: Don’t even get me started on the parallels 😆

Gale: Oh please, I’m not THAT much of a bitch.

Tara: yeah ok suuurree

Kirby: You literally radiate Bitch-Karen energy idgaf I’ll be the bigger person to say it 

Chad: GET WRECKED

Gale: replied to “You literally radiate bitch-karen energy idgaf I’ll be the bigger person to say it”: I hate you. 🖕

Danny: If Gale is Aunt Jane, then Kirby is Vanessa because she’s a cop. 

Gale: Tara is Abby. HA! There.

Danny: Because she’s an annoying little sister?

Sam: o.O

Gale: Precisely.

Tara: no. no fucking way. that’s NOT me AT ALL

Kirby: I’m processing this information

Mindy: Lmfao YES and Sam’s Mike 😂😂😂

Tara: replied to “Because she’s an annoying little sister?”: shut up Danny, nobody asked you. just do what you’re good at and look like ur paying attention 😤🖕

Mindy: Stubborn, immature, feisty… it definitely sounds like you Tara. 

Chad: and Mike is quiet, traumatized, and has family issues. That’s Sam. 

Chad: Ok fine it’s canon, sorry babe 🫡

Danny: emphasized “Stubborn, immature, feisty… it sure sounds like you Tara.”

Danny: emphasized “and Mike is quiet, traumatized, and has family issues. That’s Sam.”

Gale: At first I was just throwing a thought out there, but now that you mention it, they’re pretty good analogies for the Carpenters.

Kirby: Ditto

Kirby: Guess we’re FNAF characters in another universe 😂

Sam: Their relationship isn’t anything like ours tho

Chad: Sure, it is! 

Danny: Mike and Abby love each other a lot, but they fight every other day, if not every day. You and Tara do that. They have absent parents. You two do too. Mike is constantly holding down a job to support him and Abby. Sam, you do that. Abby does what she wants, regardless of what Mike says. Tara does the same thing. Sounds pretty accurate to me

Mindy: I respect the resemblance 🫡

Kirby: Whoa— 🤯

Gale: See? I know what I’m talking about, Tara. 😉

Tara: no. . . that’s 1000000% INACCURATE 

Sam: Ok maybe it’s a little similar, but still…

Chad: Round of applause for Danny! Guess he’s not so clueless after all 👏👏

Gale: 👏👏👏

Mindy: Kudos Danny kudos 👏👏👏👏

Kirby: 👏

Sam: Kudos

Tara: NO. fuck ur applauding. you guys don’t know me at all smh

Mindy: Hey T, wanna draw a picture for your friends at Freddy Fazbear’s??

Mindy: Sam, you’ll let her, right? They’re just innocent animatronics that wanna play with your sister 😁

Tara: GODDAMMIT I AM NOT ABBY!!!!

Sam: I’m not sure how to respond to that 🙃

Gale: Everyone in favor of Tara = Abby, say “aye”

Mindy: Aye 🙋🏽‍♀️

Chad: Aye-aye, dare I say (love you Tara 😘) 

Kirby: Aye

Danny: Aye 🫡

Mindy: replied to “I’m not sure how to respond to that 🙃”: Just say aye

Tara: Sam don’t you dare

Sam: I’m not. I still don’t think they’re us…

Kirby: You two are no fun

Gale: It’s all fun and games until the games turn against them.

Sam: The fun was supposed to be watching the movie! 

Danny: Alright, I’m out

Chad: Same

Tara: yeah everybody shut up so we can watch k thx bye

Mindy: Lol victory is sweet

Sam: emphasized “Alright, I’m out”

Kirby: 👌

Gale: replied to “Lol victory is sweet”: It sure is.

this one's for you @dreamersbcll - i hope you're doing a little better but if not, i hope reading this stupid little text chat will make u smile 🩶

All my best ♡ - parker

[elirastudio]

I like to imagine before the birthday comic

-

Erlang: Surely you're joking. You would halt our hunt for a meager social visit?

Macaque: Oh I'm sorry, last I checked today's my birthday not yours. Shut up.

Beautiful 😂

I could write the all interaction….

Maybe …

Ok I will

-

Macaque Was the one to lead this hunt for the ex monkey king.

He and Erlang Shen had been following sun wukong for months now; months away from his brothers, his kingdom, his generals… from his kid.

His kid.

This thought had been on the king mind all week, something important was coming…

“Six eared macaque.”

Liu er was brought back to reality. “You are not focused.” They stayed in silence…then the king spoke “its my kid’s birthday… I need to see him…” he thought about the last time he saw his kid. He shouted at him, in an attempt to make his kid let go of his father; maybe Xiaotian didn’t want to see him anymore, maybe he just wanted to enjoy his special day without him.

But he needed to see his kid.

Erlang put a hand on macaque’s shoulder “ the sooner we take down Sun Wukong, the sooner you can go back to your kid.” Silence again.

Macaque knew Erlang was right, heaven wanted wukong down and they wouldn’t have let macaque live in peace until they get what they wanted.

Maybe if Erlang used the fillet spell…they could follow wukong’s screams instead of his heart beat, they could find him faster and keep him in place.

No.

Macaque couldn’t do it.

Reality was that macaque didn’t want to hurt wukong, he didn’t want to put him down,he wanted wukong to be free and delaying their confrontation for as long as needed, even forever.

But Xiaotian didn’t have forever .

“Please” it was almost a whisper “just a few hours…I will come back. Please.” The king was begging at this point. Erlang sighed, sat down and started petting his dog “don’t make me come get you.”

Macaque didn’t need anything else, he smiled and fell in one of his shadow portals, to his kid.

-

Macaque caressed his kid’s hair until he fell asleep, the silence of the room gave him time to think. He missed Xiaotian so much, the kid had told him all that he did in this past months, how many new things he learned…especially about his new powers. macaque was so proud of him but couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he missed all of it, he wasn’t there for his kid, even if he needed his father.

And he needed to leave soon. again . he didn’t want to leave.

He signed, made sure his little star was sleeping and wrote something for him; took the drawing his kid made for him with love and fell again in another shadow portal, back to erlang.

-

The monkey king passed his companion, who had just stood up “I hope you got everything out of your system.”

Macaque didn’t look at him, he just kept staring at the drawing Xiaotian made for him.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t stay away forever.

He had so many things he cares about , a kingdom to rule , people to protect, a kid to see growing… all took away for sun wukong.

For what?

To save him?

There was nothing more to save.

He lost his sun the night they killed Tripitaka, he should have understood that sooner instead of following his selfish desires, convincing heaven to let the ex king live , in hope to have him back one day.

It would have saved a lot of pain from both monkeys.

“Yeah” answered the six eared macaque still looking at the drawing.

He wanted to go back to his kid as soon as possible, to be a family again and leave the past behind forever.

Yes. Liu we mihou was determined to put an end to this chapter of the story.

[nerdyenby]

Red time :D I’m watching Grian

Grian sounds so distressed is he okay????

Ah he’s sick, who isn’t though

The rabid rabbits 😂😂😂

Grian ready and willing to slam his head into any and every wall he sees

They were gonna instantly jump into the void in skybattle 😂

“No one expected me to be on time but they were still disappointed when I wasn’t”

Pete calling everyone voting for buildmart cowards, as he should

Buildmart

Manager Grian my beloved!!!!

Their comms are beautiful

I was on the edge of my seat the entire team, no notes lol

“Alright, what do we wanna win next?” I love the energy, king <333

Bingo

How have I not seen H’s chat message before 😂😂😂

The way they know what chiseled sandstone is and how to craft it :))

These guys know minecraft and it makes my heart so happy

YOU CAN KILL THE SHEEP GRIAN 😭😭😭

The way he freaking murdered a cat without hesitation but forgot he can kill a sheep

IT WAS A JELLIE NOOOOOOOO oh Grian is dead

“We’re doing exactly what I said we’re gonna do, which is win” “we’re looking kinda hot right now” RABID RABBIT SUPREMACY!!!!

Gem’s little “I made a house” 😂

“Alright, who’s the weak link?” “Me, I’m the weak link, we know that. Is anyone surprised by this?” “Cleo, get it together please, get it together” “This is me with it together, Gem, you know that!!” This team is my favorite actually

“Don’t forget to donate chat :D” “or else >:(“ “and if you do forget, just remember” THEM

Gem and Cleo my beloveds

Grian crashing and Gem’s “Oh I thought that would be me today, I’m glad it’s you” 😂

TGTTOSAWAF

“How hard do we want to win this?” “Like, super hard” so true Cleo

“Oh no, I haven’t practiced terra swoop force. Joke’s on you, I don’t need to” GRIAN 😂

They popped off!!

“This is supposed to be a fun game” real

Cleo’s reaction to Grian saying it’s Takashi’s castle is so /pos

“You’re doing great!! I mean, you’re doing bad!!” Gem my beloved

The way Grian described everyone grappling onto Phil’s face is killing me

Grian’s sole strategy for this event is overwhelming positivity AS HE SHOULD

“You got this, Grian. Just murder anyone who comes your way and you’ll be fine!!” so true Cleo!!!

Pete and Grian’s banter is everything

Parkour Tag

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to go first” “oh” “I’m not gonna stop you”

This team is so great, they all are just so comfortable with each other but haven’t competed together so they’re just oscillating between merely vibing and absolutely bullying each other

GRIAN’S SOUNDS 😂😂😂

Cleo asking Gem if she’s supposed to be nice or mean to Grian and Pete volunteering to be ridiculed lmao

Grian’s killing it as a hunter!!!!

Pete crafting a master conspiracy to get Grian a fifth hunt lmao

Everyone getting to hunt at least once <333

GRIAN TOP 5?!???!!!

Grian talking about how Scar is going to hate him and then how bad Scar did his first event and then saying “He’s probably watching, hi Scar, hey buddy~”

Grian talking about how much this event reminds him of Techno <333

Ace Race

Grian is so unhinged right now, good for him

“There’s just the gay stuff, it’s fine” CLEO 😂

Only just realizing this is my first time watching this ace race because all the povs I’ve watched so far got muted

“I think I’ve just been lapped” “it’s probably Pete” “Uhhhhh….” 😂😂😂

Cleo telling Pete “You’ve done really good, precious, I’m proud of you” god, am I really deprived enough of affection to get emotional over this? The answer is yes

Grian telling Pete to go jogging to this soundtrack irl 😂

TEN SECONDS ON 2ND?!???

Annnnnnnddd they jinxed it lol

I LOVE confident Grian

“I just don’t want battle box to be last” uh oh…

Sands of Time

I feel like I haven’t seen anyone shoot creeepers in sands before lol

Cleo’s doing great for a first time sandkeeper

WHAT IS GRIAN DOING?!???? 😭😭😭

“I got a tomato with your name on it” pizzacrustduo my beloved

“Honestly I respect the ambition, but I’m gonna have to respect it from the bottom of the freaking leaderboard” Pete 😭😭😭

Meltdown

Grian popping off!!!

Ah no, they’re going through it

“See the thing is: Gem is so good at pvp… on hermitcraft” everyone losing it 😂😂😂

Battle Box

“You did beat Etho multiple times in pvp” “You say that like it’s hard” CLEO 😭

“I’ll do the tnt” it is not possible to describe Grian’s voice right there

“Alright, here’s how we can get 8/9” thank you Pete 😂

Cleo’s reaction to seeing Aimsey is killing me /pos

Pete running around like “WHERE WHERE WHERE” and Gem having already killed everyone my beloved

Everyone cheering on Pete <333

“That’s our ally!!” “Oh my god, I am- I am an ally” LOSING MY MIND /POS

Grian and Gem holding hands on the leaderboard :))

Pete being so happy for Dave <33

Dodgebolt

Everyone hyping up Cleo before they realized she was in 30th rather than 40th, they popped off for their first event!!!

The affectionate bullying in this call is everything to me

“We play Minecraft every single day, I’m not sure everyone does” “We might be nerds” “We might- we might be dorks” “You know we’re dorks, but we’re dorks who know how to play Minecraft” MY STREAMERS!!!

“But what if there was a better dodgebolt?” 10/10 foreshadowing Pete, thank you :)))

“I need a motivational speech” “Pete, you’re the most gorgeous unicorn I’ve ever seen” pizzacrust my beloved 😂

[g12xxx]

Love is blind live reunion review:

Netflix needs to take a BIG L and they deserve to get dragged all over social media.

• love Brett and Tiffany, they look so happy. They needed more screen time in this reunion and they only got asked one or two questions.

• Kwame and Chelsea are still together. Umm I did like that kwame apologised to Chelsea and her family. I’m glad that they bought up the pool scene but they should of bought up kwame and Micah’s conversation at Chelsea’s birthday. At least he took accountability

• The best part of this reunion were Zack and Bliss calling irina out. Zack to Irina “ if we’re real, you went on this show to get famous” ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ he told the truth. I love that Bliss and zack always defend each other and that they took the high road by forgiving irina.

• When Irina was starting to ‘cry’ and the audience was laughing 😭🤣☠️☠️. Her and Micah should have called Andrew.

• Irina’s apology was something. Like pick a struggle Irina. I’m not even surprised that she started using mental health as an excuse of treating people horribly. I will give credit where it’s due to Vanessa for calling her out as well. I will also give irina credit for showing up at the reunion. The fact that she even dm’d bliss to say she dodged a bullet, seriously she has no shame.

• loved Bliss’s response to irina. She just classy and her face when irina was saying how she loved bliss and Zack relationship lol

• The energy that Vanessa had for Paul and marshall should have gone Micah and Jackie. She had so much grace for them then the men

•The only person that called micah out was Zack and to be quiet honest the mvp of this reunion because Nick and Vanessa are horrible hosts.

• Vanessa was so annoying. She asked Paul what he meant about the nurturing comment. He explains himself and I understood on what he was saying but she kept going at him repeatedly just SHUT UP!! Vanessa’s bias was showing

• I’m glad that Zack came to Paul’s defence. Zack was about say what micah had said in the car regarding Paul and Vanessa cuts him off ,REALLY!!! 😒

• The fact that Micah’s friends especially Shelby wasn’t even called out is a joke.

• Jackie and Josh 🤡.Jackie was on social media talking about how she has all this receipts and that she will bring them at the reunion. Well she didn’t even show up. Vanessa was not asking the questions that need to be answered at all. Just playing bestie’s with Jackie. Marshall facial expression killed me 😂

• Jackie’s excuse regarding the ring girl please, it’s all bullshit. How sad must you be to still keep the ring a year later. When Josh was talking I didn’t care.

•When Vanessa said to Marshall if he had considered Jackie’ s feelings I’m like REALLY!! what about his feelings they weren’t considered as well. There was no follow up regarding text messages and Jackie being homophobic but Marshall apologised regarding him saying that Jackie had a strong jawline. Vanessa didn’t care she already chose a side.

• Vanessa asking the cast when they are going to have a baby was unnecessary, awkward and mind your business.They only been married for a year. Then she was talking about her ovaries, please just SHUT UP nobody cares.

• I don’t who the idiot was that thought that showing Bartiste in this reunion was good idea because it wasn’t. Lauren and Cameron would of been better option.

• I liked the clips of 3 married couples hanging around together. It was lovely to see. Zack singing to Bliss 😂😂😂 Bliss loves it, they are so in love.

Cut truth or drink from 3 married couples (YouTube) was more entertaining than the reunion and that says a lot.

Nick and Vanessa cannot host another reunion, they are terrible. Love is blind Brazil have a better hosts and reunions. Lots of questions not asked and they should of let the audience ask questions. Micah and Jackie should have been held accountable for their behaviour, not given them a free pass. It’s funny that Zack was the only one that called out Micah but not the hosts of this show 🤦🏽‍♀️.

[silvernyxchariot]

It’s still February, the “lovey-dovey” month, as I see it. So, here’s a somewhat comprehensive blog of “Would I Date That JoJo Villain?” Main villains only. Non-yandere harem.

⚠️DNI: bigots, anti-LGBT+'s, trolls, MAPs, proshippers (incest & pedos), anti self & OC shippers, and everyone else synonymous to the mentioned. You will be blocked.⚠️

Dio Brando: Maybe, but it'll lead to an inevitable breakup.

See the first sentence of DIO down below. Anyway, this is the Dio I would be willing to date depending on how we met back in the late 1800′s. He’s still a conniving selfish megalomaniac, but not as bad as Stardust Crusaders DIO and I’m a sucker for Victorian Gothic fashion. This is also the only form of Dio that I have any sympathy for, like “Hon-neyyyy! You were set. You would have been golden. You didn’t NEED more. You could have easily made yourself a fortune. Live the rich man’s life you wanted.” He was adopted by an old rich man, accepted by his adoptive brother, and graduated as a top law student, even still he was influenced by his sperm donor’s last words to gain all the power. All the wealth. So yeah, I would give this Dio a chance.

Kars: YES.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know he’s my favorite in the yandere JJBA villain harem. But even outside of the yandere harem, my answer is still yes.

DIO: NO.

I have a mate that self ships himself with Dio/DIO and I ain’t a traitor like that. 😤 Also, see my explanation for Dio Brando above. Which is ironic since I self-ship with One Piece’s Doflamingo. . . But we ain’t talking about him. 😗🧋. . . At best, Vanilla Ice and I are the adopted children that get fed and dragged along while DIO and my mate are on a date. We’re also carrying all the bags and coats so they can take cute couple photos together. And also, Araki had all the opportunity to bring back a sexy, mysterious, Victorian Gothic vampire. But naaaah. He made DIO a Neon Banana. It doesn't help because my least favorite colors are bright yellows.

Yoshikage Kira: No.

Not my type, I guess? Don’t get me wrong. Diamond is Unbreakable was such a refreshing, fun, and unexpected part. It was a major switch up from the world-threatening and inhuman beings of parts 1-3. But I wasn’t attracted to Yoshikage all that much. I think I need the extra ego and bloodthirst for my villains. 😂

Diavolo/Doppio: Maybe, but it'll be a No in the end.

Hey~ Two for one deal. 😎 But jokes aside, You Killed My Husbands! Seven of them indirectly! This is essentially a yandere situation without it being a yandere AU because I think Diavolo would be a good partner. . . If you know... submit to being hidden from the world, living alone in an Italian villa where no one can find you, and you have to move every few weeks, months, years, or maybe even days. You have NO Connections to the outside world. No internet for you. Doppio seems like a loyal and sweet partner, but he'd be the only good part of this relationship. They definitely have the money to spoil you too.

Enrico Pucci: No?

I honestly think he’d be a decent boyfriend. (Thank you to all of you headcanon creators that are still putting out content or are still JoJo fans. You make my day a little less bleak.) It’s the whole devotion to DIO that's a turn-off. Also, please don’t talk about converting me to Christianity or Catholicism at the dinner table. Or how about I introduce you to the entire Greek pantheon? No? Ok, how about the Tagalog pantheon?

Funny Valentine: No.

I have no right to be talking about the part 7 villain because I’m only ten chapters into Steel Ball Run. . . But from what I’ve learned through the fandom and the JoJo wiki, he’s not a pleasant man. . . So, no. Also, how's that infatuation with another Married person, who is also 15 Year Old Adolescent Girl hmmm?/RH 👀🔪🔪

⭐️ My work is for entertainment and personal purposes. Do not take, translate, repost, or use it for profit. Hearts and reblogs are appreciated though.

[alexa-fika]

Hahaha I'm sorry I'm a little sleep deprived and sore idk what I meant with the yhose.

So so for the one piece world I would put it past the world government to kill species etc. So let's say the government killed all benders but like Aokiji there were some Marines who could kill kids.

Skip past a few yours and a small handful of benders are still alive( maybe it's the kids who escaped great grandchildren or whatever)

Now why the government would kill benders?

Some water benders can blood bend? That's a risk

Air benders can literally take your oxygen away, that's a risk. Etc.

The world government can't risk benders rebeling against them.

________

Now I think the new era of pirates would welcome benders, even the revolutionary army.

Just imagining a few benders stepping in at impel down to help whitebeard out??

Long ago he saved their island and those benders are so thankful for him.

While a fire, earth and air benders are in the battle, I imagine some water benders trying to help heal who over they can.

Plus I think it would be pretty funny seeing Akainu being hit with water and seeing a teen/youn adult who's ready to go down and fight him. ( like katara was fighting that elder in the northen water tribe)

(Can I be 🌲🦊anon)

Okay okay, at this point the world goverment is capable of doing anything and it’s not unheard of of driving species to extention I mean look at the bucaneers and lunarians.

Current Whitebeard would save them definetly, maybe even prime Whitebeard? Depends on what stage we are talking about I think prime whitebeard would be the most likely candidate to step in to save them.

Benders at the Marineford battle would have made such a big difference and save so many lives (Not whitebeard and ace, they are alive ✊🏽 fight me) I feel like they would have created a similar impact that Shanks did when he appeared, they would be a force that would tip the scale.

As for a water bender against Kuzan, eh. Maybe if they have mastered ice bending, otherwise a water bender would be the very worst match to against him, he could simply freeze all the water they summon, trapping them against the very thing they used to fight. I think no matter the bender they would have to be extremely experience to even stand against Aojiki, since at this point he is on serious mode, he is not joking around.

Hmm, it’s been such a long time since ive watched avatar 😂. But im thinking maybe earth-benders would also be at a disadvantage, mayybe? He can easily freeze the earth around them. We saw with his fight with Luffy that being airy and springy does not mean you can escape his ice so air benders aren’t off the hook either. Fire benders, I can say the stereotype ice vs water but here is the thing that would apply to all benders, they need their hands, once Kuzan has frozen them it’s game over. So on my opinion I don’t think benders could be able to take him down, maybe entertain him for a while but not take him down.

Also yes welcome 🌲 🦊 anon : )

-Update- PLEASE I JUST NOTICED YOU SAID AKAINU IM SORRY 😭

[nattinatalia]

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, djdrama, and 9,678,897 others

jackharlow Booked and busy 🤞🏼 VMA’s this Sunday, y’all ready??

View all 1,900 comments

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❤️

@ jackharlow added to their story

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@ yourusername added to their story

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Liked by jackharlow, dalexmusic, lennytavarez, jquiles , and 9,789,445 others

yourusername Can’t stop, won’t stop! 💣 coming 🔜

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ynupdates 😱

jackharlow Hustler

urbanwyatt 🔥

jquiles Una bomba esto 🔥

jackharlow Surprises after surprises, proud of you mama ❤️

yourusername Love you 😛😘

y/n/harlow Every collab you do its always with the top guys. You always kill it 👏🏻 do something with Jack please

yourusername Superstar doesn’t have time for little me 😉

jackharlow Quit playing! 🙄

jackharlow What she needs to do is drop the two track she wrote about me when we first started dating.

yourusername 🤫 That’s only for us

yourbestiename Bitch if you don’t send me those songs right now I’m going to fuck you up, why am I barely finding out you wrote songs about him???

yourusername Because they were meant to be only for my ears and no one else.

jackharlow RELEASE THEM!!!

yourusername NO

druski2funnny Are they about how he was a fuckboy?

jackharlow 🙄

yourusername Lmao no

yourbestiename Tell me. Text me.

urbanwyatt I want to know too.

yourusername Nosy asses

jackharlow For what I understand, one of them was diss track to she who cannot be named 🤐

yourbestiename BITCH! DROP THAT SHIT NOW!!!!!

urbanwyatt Ohhh 😮 pls release that song.

druski2funnny Yooo i want to listen to that shit even though I won’t understand 😂💀

yourbestiename Whats the other one?

jackharlow Tell em wife 😉 😁

yourusername Who’s being annoying now? 🤦🏻‍♀️ you tell them since we’re revealing our secrets.

druski2funnny Hey we’re family, there’s no secrets between us.

yourusername LMAO

jackharlow Know how she played hard to get? Well little miss hard to get wrote a song about how she’s wondering who I’ve been with and that her head is a mess just thinking about our nights together.

urbanwyatt Y/N 😂

ynupdates JACK IF YOU DONT RELEASE THOSE TWO SONGS FOR US!!!!!

yourbestiename Seriously you need to let me listen to them. I want to listen how you went in on little ex and how you were thinking about dude who wasn’t even on your mind back then.

jackharlow Dude is now her husband, thank you very much 🫡

hisexname 🥱🥱🥱

druski2funnny HELL NO RELEASE THAT SHIT NOW

urbanwyatt Oh shit 😲

yourbestiename BITCH FUCK OUT OF HERE. Y/n please

yourusername Lmao nooo.

jackharlow I got y’all just wait…….

yourusername They better be waiting sitting down because those are not being heard anywhere.

jackharlow Just remember you love me, I’m your husband and the father of your children.

urbanwyatt If y’all pray, pray for him pls