#this is a problem with both of those also to be clear

[kiddotarot]

what will your future spouse first time buy for you ?

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1.

Ok i think your Future spouse in a hurry they wants to take action Toward you it is not just about gifts now . It is more than that now you both already above That stage where buying cute gift and things as a dating couple For each other , this can be the time before the marriage and i think you both are already date Each other or dating from a long time and this person your future and you may realized that this is an end game . You both are meant for each other. You are not lovers any more or this connection is not the begging for them you both may be already living together as This time not married but as husband and wife yes but as couples and you both may unconsciously starting behave like married couple and it's hard for your future spouse to imagine any day with you and i think that this things just hit them like “ hey we are behaving like those old couple who used to sit in garden at their 60s “ . They don't want any other option hell no , they don't even think of anyone else when they hear women cause you are one for them who are already going to spend every life with them . with Ace of cups either they are going to propose to you so they are buying a Diamond ring or a baby ( some of you can get pregnant) so they are ready to have lids with you and are going to propose to you .

Mini Moodboard ~

Pile 2.

Ok Either you do astrology, occult and some devotional stuff , Because your future spouse here knows you very well here. They can buy you gift when there is some disagreement and argument happening between you and your future spouse it can be related a project or may be you both are trying to start and invest in something i think it's your first argument cause there don't like it they way you both are awkward and not talking to each Other. They really want to clear things behind all the problems and the things which you are both hiding. They want to communicate and make things clear in this marriage and relationship . more like a gift , they will surprise you with a tour or a holiday Package and maybe a trip where you both can take a break from the outer world and focus on each other and have a good time.

Mini Moodboard ~

Pile 3.

I think your future spouse is going to give you something That motivates you and makes you feel comfortable and makes you feel good about yourself . Here is the condition that you are really introverted or a person who sacrifices yourself for others and you also have insecurities. It can be about your body and your behavior . This world always tries to make you insecure and tries to break your confidence by some tricks . Your family or your friends can be very mean or not supporting something like who always tries to point out your weakness and never be happy no matter what you do for them, some kind of toxic ( like indian relatives) . That why these all things stop your creativity and make a blockage towards things that you like , they make you feel that you are not good Enough for things you like and constantly criticise it , but your future spouse can see your potential so the first thing they going to buy for you that make you feel good about yourself . here the empress card gives me mostly body ( if you are insecure about it ) do they surly buy you a dress and going to compliment how you look beautiful in it.

Mini Moodboard ~

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[sylvieserene]

Something weird I have noticed in the CRK fandom when it comes to ships ESPECIALLY Purelily

I recently saw a tweet on twitter talking about Elderlily and ShadowVanilla on how people should give new ships a shot instead of shooting down them down instantly which IS a valid point BUT the problem starts when they assert the fact that these two ships hold more "merit" and "intimacy" than "other ships" (which in comment section they directly agree it's aimed at Purelily)

This is a HUGE problem I see both in the Elderlily fanbase + ShadowVanilla fanbase. The sheer hate for Purelily.

Like have a look:

Pure Hatred and unwillingness to accept that opinions can co-exist.

Unwilling to see reason when tried to be shown. Only answering in hatred.

Further more...

From starting with generalising Purelily shippers to accusing all Purelily shippers to misinterpret/misrepresent/mischaracterisation PV and WL to accusations of the entire fanbase being bigoted, homophobic, misogynistic or accusing the entire fanbase of being bad including whataboutism posts stating "oh yeah? I wonder which shipper base sent actual death threats and doxxed someone?"

For the record, Im gonna say yes, a few people from specifically the purelily base have done these BUT generalising the entire shipping community as bad and labelling them as problematic is NOT okay.

THE ACTIONS OF ONE HORRIBLE PERSON DOESN'T DEFINE THE ENTIRE FANBASE!

Misrepresentation/Mischaracterisation/Misinterpretation of characters have happened in ALL of CRK shipping communities. That very much includes ShadowVanilla and Elderlily.

So accusing one fanbase of doing those and pretending that it doesn't exist in your space is kinda hypocritical I believe?

No fanbase is exempt from controversy. Every shipping space has had atleast ONE problematic individual (Eg: N*zi ShadowVanilla controversy from Twitter) but now if I start saying "*gasp* I wonder which base drew those horrific things?" Would it make any sense? No. Cuz one person doesn't define an entire fanbase.

So let's make one thing clear, none of the shipping communities are "pure" or "innocent" of anything. All of them have problems and individuals with issues depending on how far you're willing to dig.

So accusing a single shipping community of being horrible while saying others are not is not okay.

Not all ShadowVanilla and Elderlily shippers are good people, same as Purelily shippers.

Which brings me to the point, "It's 2025, grow tf up and stop shipping purelily" mentality which also brings me to my original point lol

These were sent to a purelily artist on Twitter (redbeanyearnin).

Their crime? Shipping purelily.

Look at the civility, ladies and gentlemen! /s

This is also a side of shippers who actually aren't purelily shippers 😊 how naive and innocent messages 😍❤️ /j

But this is the great evidence on how all of these shippers aren't angels. They are the same people accusing Purelily shippers and the ship itself as being horrible.

Im not gonna comment more on this.

But this just proves my point on how no shipping base is angelic. All of them have screwed up individuals.

Anw...

What does year/time have anything to say about what you ship? I see this comment thrown across very frequently in the fandom which does confuse me quite a lot but seriously um why? Is there some sort of subscription that's getting over in these recent years which denies me the right to enjoy something niche? Or I MUST ship what the popular ship is atm?

Just why....? Where does this mentality come from?

More importantly, why does one ship has to be "superior" or have to had more "merit" than the other?

Just why?

Why can't we simply accept our differences in preferences and move on?

Like...I personally don't ship mutual ShadowVanilla, I find the one sided part more compelling but that doesn't mean I will say it's "better" than the mutual one. I can appreciate the mutual one too. Same for Elderlily. I see it as platonic, a familial sort of relationship between a Mentor and Mentee or yes I'm gonna say it Father Daughter.

Personally, I find their age difference extremely uncomfortable which is why the moment I learnt this guy was older than her ancestor's ancestors, I shipped it as platonic. Same for ShadowVanilla cuz age is a factor for me personally but I won't blame others who look past it cuz firstly these are fictional characters and secondly, all of them are immortals so I can understand it although I find it uncomfortable myself.

But even with that, I would NEVER say that Purelily is "superior", has "more merit", better "intimate writing" than said ships irrespective of if they are popular/canon or not.

If you ask for respect towards your shipping preferences, the least you can do is GIVE that respect to others as well. If you don't, then how come you keep the expectation that your opinion will get respected when you can't peacefully co-exist with another part of the fandom who may hold different views than you?

In simpler words, I kinda find it highly disrespectful and hypocritical that some people out here can't keep themselves from attacking others for shipping things differently than them? Like...why?

Why can't we all ship whatever we want instead of shooting down each other's ships and calling one more superior/inferior than the other?

Like for me as an example, I don't like a lot of ships but I either don't share my opinion on it or tend to ignore it instead of going "omg MY ship better! HUH HOW DARE YOU SAY MY SHIP IS BAD"

At the end, Shipping is subjective and we're all here to have fun so instead of playing the blame game on who is worse, who has done more horrible things, why can't we simply focus on the positives?

All ships have merits and demerits. All of them have issues. Heck, even the characters aren't perfect and they also have a plethora of issues.

WL isnt a perfect person, she's morally grey and a highly complex character. PV isn't a baby or a simp who gets jealous everytime someone breaths in WL's direction. EF isn't obsessed with WL as people in the fanbase make him to be. Just like PV, he chose his job over following WL and even when he knew he had a choice to revive her, He didn't instead he kept guarding the tree. SM isn't a good person and has caused several wars, genocides, torture and murder.

NONE of them are as perfect as people make them to be. NONE of the fanbases if considered in majority truly get them.

So it really makes zero sense when ppl say "PV should stay the hell away from WL", "WL is getting between them!"

People really need to stop objectifying these characters just cuz they don't fit their shipping preferences/agendas.

All of these characters and their ships have certain merits and demerits to them so why must we say that one is better than the other?

Why can't we all enjoy what we simply like?

Why can't we just agree to disagree instead of shitting on other's tastes?

Why must ONE particular shipping fandom get the brunt of it?

So tldr, I just wanna say, While it is true, people shouldn't shoot down new things without even giving it a shot but that doesn't mean the new thing is "superior" than the old thing suddenly just cuz one likes it more. If you find it great, that's fine but Idt anyone has the right to say that one thing is more inferior than the other.

Please give the respect to others that you expect. If you get insanely defensive about your own ship but shit on other's shipping preferences then expect to get that back.

You can't be like "Nooooooo don't say bad about my ship! You're a hater" and then be like "damn your taste in shipping SUCKS. This ship is so trash. MY ship is SOOOOO much better :)"

Sorry for this rant. I just find the entire situation of the fandom highly frustrating.

[antisocialsharky]

Kink as a Coping Mechanism with ASPD

Important opening notes:

• I'll have to mention that this post contains content more suitable for 18+ audiences and while I can't stop minors from reading it, it is recommended to reach a certain level of emotional and physical maturity before you engage with kink

• the act of engaging with kink needs to be properly negotiated and its not something to do lightly, as scenes can be emotionally charged and physically demanding! I probably won't go too far into topics like aftercare, researching kinks before you try them and other etiquette, so please be aware that theres more to the topic and that you should be looking out for that.

• this post is also not meant to sexualize ASPD or claim we're all into kink or whatever! different people like different things!

• also kink doesn't inherently have to be sexual!

When you encounter posts about sex and ASPD, those are usually either dealing with risky sexual encounters being a way in which impulsivity can present in ASPD, or its posts written by the people who romanticize ASPD and claim that "psychopaths/sociopaths are all good in bed" and while I'll happily take the compliment, thats of course not inherently true.

What being good at sex means, is highly subjective and often comes down to confidence, communication and practise.

Something I have noticed, as a sort of "trend" though, is that many ASPDers I've talked to/seen posts of, express an interest in kink, be that practising it themselves, or being able to appreciate elements of it. This doesn't mean that liking kink is an ASPD symptom, far from it, but it does beg the question, as to what may be the reason for this interest.

The following reasons are of course, just my personal opinion and may not apply to everyone!

1. Finding comfort in something society deems "abnormal"

The types of comments that kink enthusiasts and people with personality disorders get from the larger part of society are actually pretty similar. Its often believed that kink relationships and encounters are by definition abusive and harmful, that its coercion, manipulation and/or simply "morally wrong". People with PDs also see themselves confronted with such sentiments regarding their symptoms & relationships and may find comfort and support in those communities because of that. Shared stigma can make you feel like you belong, like you're not abnormal and like you've found people who may understand what you're going trough at least a little bit. Theres also an enhanced understanding for "abnormal" desires, as kink shaming is largely frowned upon.

2. Being able to consensually act on urges & thoughts

Some people with ASPD have evergrowing desires, urges and thoughts to cause suffering to other people, be that emotionally or physically. This is rarely something that can be acted upon in ethical ways, but kink dynamics actually provide a clearly regulated space for such acts. The person receiving the emotional or physical pain has well defined boundaries in place, clear signals as to when they want to stop (safe words/gestures) and actually wants & enjoys the pain they're about to receive. This allows the person inflicting the pain, to not have to worry about being seen as a monster or a bad person. They can give their symptoms and desires an outlet that is valued and liked by both parties and don't have to hide who they are & what they want.

3. Giving away and taking control

The trauma that ASPD usually stems from, may have left the ASPDer with a need to stay in control at all times, or with problems giving the control away/ problems with feeling safe while they do so. Kink dynamics are often, tho not always about a power exchange and provide an environment in which ASPDers can meet their needs regarding this. An ASPDer that needs to be in control and thrives on having people do what they want and play by their rules, will find that submissive leaning partners may be a good fit. An ASPDer that hates their own need for control and/or really needs a break sometimes, but has problems letting go of said control, may benefit from this highly negotiated and thus pretty safe dynamic that a dominant partner could offer them.

4. Working trough trauma

K*nk dynamics and play sessions can intentionally be negotiated and build up to resemble situations, that have contributed towards the ASPDers trauma. They can use this to take back their power and live trough it again, but this time with the knowledge that they hold all the strings and that they can end this if they want to. Especially those who have gone trough sexual trauma, may tend to find this helpful sometimes, as they know they can trust their play partner to take care of them and respect their boundaries. Its also a great way to take controlled steps towards sexual encounters and touch overall, if the whole topic is triggering to a person (tho with this point, open clear communication is especially important).

5. Clear rules and expectations

It can sometimes be hard with ASPD to really tell what partners need, where their boundaries lie, how much you are allowed to jump over those at times, what type of consequences there are for which breach and so on. While this should absolutely be present in non kink relationships as well, the communication just really tends to be better and more clear in kink dynamics. For both or more parties, theres clear limits communicated, theres talks about whether they like having to take that control forcibly or whether they want it surrendered, theres possibly behavioral rules and encouragements, as well as a possible reward/punishment system. This can work great for some, to be more confident while they navigate a dynamic and to possibly get a space in which they learn new social skills and/or practise the ones they have in a safe environment.

6. "Ethically impossible" things are still talked about

Theres some kinks that one just cannot engage in without that being a criminal charge, even if both (or more) parties consent to it. Since those things are usually on the more "extreme" side of kinks, they are also topics that society doesn't want anyone to talk about and prohibits any mention of in many spaces. In kink communities though, you will often still find blogs, accounts and websites that let you write about your fantasies and find people who share the same desires as you. Its not demonized there as often, even if its illegal. Instead its treated as a valid thing to want and like, while still upholding consent and boundaries as the most important thing. Thats the type of vibe, we need, surrounding stigmatized topics and while the kink community isn't perfect, they do provide a pretty good example there and ASPDers can utilize those spaces to feel like they are surrounded by more likeminded people.

7. They can teach you respect and a regard for others

Its a known thing, that some ASPDers may struggle with respecting other peoples boundaries and having any type of regard for other peoples safety and feelings. Those things just often tend to clash with what the ASPDer wants and needs (or wanted/needed in the past). One should not engage in k*nk dynamics until one is 100% able to respect another persons boundaries and safe word (seriously, otherwise thats SA and/or ab*se), but spending time in online kink spaces and talking to people who participate in it, can teach you a lot about how you can get your needs met, while still respecting other people and their boundaries, as well as how to communicate your own needs and listen to the other person. Its simply an environment where thats very valued and where you can learn a lot about healthy relationship dynamics.

8. Submission as a form of impulse control

If you are an ASPDer that struggles with impulse control, following rules, keeping yourself safe, being resonsible, etc. having someone else enforce that, can be really helpful. The system can be developed in a way that fits your needs, but knowing that theres one more wall between you and whatever may ruin your life or hurt you, is a win. You slowly learn to regulate yourself, be that to receive rewards, or to avoid punishments, you learn to ask for help and communicate that you need them to step in, you learn to be more aware of the ways in which you casually impact yourself negatively and you have someone who works trough this with you in the exact way in which you require that.

Other possible effects:

• reducing selfishness

• working on deepening a bond with trust & time

• learning to apologize and make up for things

• learning to go inwards and ask yourself what you want & don't want, what you value & don't value, etc.

• being more in tune with your feelings

• substituting other more dangerous habits

• finding ways to let go of immediate aggression and/or let it out

• rewalking development paths and relearning how you should have been treated

• practising accepting and giving comfort

• having an outlet for lies and manipulation within play and/or working on reducing that

• etc.

Kink has a really big potential as a sort of coping mechanism and/or lifestyle choice when you have ASPD (or ofc also other trauma based conditions) as it provides learning opportunities and outlets for a lot of the issues that come with this condition.

It does require you to have a certain readiness to engage with what you're presented with though and it does require you to always make sure, that the other person is alright with whats happening. While kink can greatly help you, unhealthily/harmfully practised kink can increase issues and contribute towards worsening symptoms.

Thats why I said in the beginning, that its not something to engage lightly in. Sessions can reinforce your trauma, poorly negotiated kink can leave you with new trauma, you can cause irreversible physical and mental harm and so on! Communication, negotiation and a certain level of trust are pretty much mandatory in order to keep the dynamic healthy, but when it is, it can be a great balancing tool and method to confront, work through and redirect symptoms.

first posted on my instagram (same @)

[nalyra-dreaming]

I feel like I’m going crazy because I keep on seeing people fantasy cast actors in their 30s for Marius and I just assumed he would be aged up since our main vamps were. Why is everyone seeing him as looking the same age as Lestat? I just think a lot of the story would fall flat if he appears to be mid 30s or even mid 40s. This goes for his mentor-relationship with Lestat, but more so for his relationship with Armand. What are your thoughts?

Also, I have a Lestat query. Second season made me Armand obsessed but when I first saw season 1, I was initially intrigued by Lestat. When I first watched season one I had not yet read the books. I read through TVA in between seasons. So when season 1 episode 5 happened, I didn’t feel any certain way. I chalked it up to gothic storytelling. Having now read the books and getting a better idea for who Lestat is, I can now understand why people were/still are very upset by it. But I’ve even seen non book readers extremely upset by it, which I can understand to a degree. It’s pretty atrocious what he does. But it seems to have made non book readers hate hate hate Lestat to a degree that is rather unfortunate. It seemed in season two the writing was trying to soften it a bit with his, what I felt was heartfelt apology during the trial and their reunion scene. But it’s been clear to me there is a large contingent of fans who still LOATHE him, point blank. I’ve always seen this show as an ensemble piece, but it’s clear Lestat will take center stage next season. Do you think the writers will succeed in getting people to appreciate Lestat and want to hear his story and sympathize with him or did episode 5 do more damage than intended to how his character will be perceived going forward?

I don't think the writers need to "get" people to like Lestat - I think Lestat is liked plenty already. :)

There is just this very loud but actually not that large subset of the fandom (believe me, once you block a bunch you realize just how few they actually are!) who are applying their morality olympics to this character because of 1x05, and who refuse to follow the shifts in the tale - of which we had some, and of which there will be more.

That's, ultimately, gonna be their problem.

The show follows the books. The shift to Lestat was always set to come.

Season 3 will be make or break for a lot of the old fans still around I think. Because it's not only Lestat who is "not Anne's Lestat", by Sam's own words - we'll also have the introduction of Gabrielle and Marius (likely) as well as Akasha (also likely I think) next season, and those characters will need to land.

Episode 5 did damage the fandom and the story - it brought in elements for an arc that is in Rolin's head imho, namely the Amel awakening arc already, thereby, due to the way they did it, destroying some of the arcs in the books - and THAT will have repercussions through all that follows.

Because there are arcs in the books. Arcs of self-acceptance, and mourning, and grief.

I know there's this huge discussion on Twitter rn re show!Claudia not having to die - and you know? They're right! Show!Claudia would not have needed to die - her fate was not as inevitable as her book counterpart's was. And yes, of course one can point and say: "Claudia had to die because Michele died, and that is why IWTV exists and why she had to die in the books"... but ... and in order to fix why she had to die, he went and chipped at other arcs/relationships, here most notably Louis/Armand and Louis/Lestat - and Lestat/Armand.

The relationships will never be the ones in the books because of those changes.

Nonetheless - they are doing the books. In their own way.

And - to get back to your initial comment :) - even in the books Marius was older than 30 :))

I do hope that both Gabrielle and Marius will be over 50, tbh. The Dark Gift rejuvenates, yes, but not that much, and the actors do have to be older than Lestat :))

In fact, I could easily see the casting for those three (Gabrielle, Marius and Akasha) being the reason for the delay in filming... because, as said - these three HAVE to hit.

But, given Rolin's hand at casting... I'm actually not too worried :)

[mmochammoss]

Could you do mha boys with a buff s/o??

This is too cute lol. I did these in HC style so I hope that’s ok🙏🏾🥹

——————————————————————

Izuku Midoriya

He’s not so secretly, secretly obsessed with you. Keeps a journal just for you and your training. Says it’s for his own training to cross-reference, but everyone knows that little freak is lying. Loves talking about you the most. He knows it’s weird to comment on your body so he tries to hold back but sometimes he just can’t help himself. Even if you're not proud of it, trust that he is. Can and will gush about your shoulder-to-waist ratio during casual conversation with anyone who asks (or doesn’t ask).

He immediately wants to know your workout routine, macros, reps, and gym playlist. Suggests “partner training” under the guise of bonding but really just wants to watch you lift. Don't worry; he wants to spend quality time with you, too, but if that quality time can be you spotting him or guiding him through a set…….yeah…..

Definitely loves your arms the most. Gets so flushed when you wear sleeveless anything. Can’t stop staring at your arms. His face gets redder the more skin you show, but he refuses to look away.

Despite your strength and physique he still wants to protect you, but also knows you could probably throw a villain through a wall no problem. Gets flustered whenever people point it out.

——————————————————————

Katsuki Bakugou

Absolutely loves it. Would never admit it but he does. He’s so down bad. Stares openly when you stretch or flex. Will fight anyone who makes comments, but also makes those same comments himself. It’s different though, only he’s allowed to talk about you like that.

You’re his spotter and he's yours. No exceptions. Don't even think about working out with anyone else he’ll legitimately throw a fit.

Thinks your abs are the hottest thing in the world. He absolutely hates it when you wear anything that shows them off. He tries to overcompensate by being shirtless as much as humanly possible to counteract your effect on him but it really just makes it worse.

Loves that your so strong but he needs you to think he’s strong too. Is always jumping in front of you at the first sign of danger. Never lets you open doors or jars just so he can casually prove that you need him even if you can get by on your own.

——————————————————————

Shouto Todoroki

Quietly admires you like you’re fine art. Traces your muscles absentmindedly when cuddling. Probably asked if he could take photos of your back “for reference,” but just stares at the pictures any time he remembers he has them.

He really tried hard not to outwardly react to the things you wear, he doesn’t want to come off as weird or a creep, but if you wear a tank top around him, he goes totally still and forgets how to breathe. Don’t let it be tight either….

The king of casual compliments. Will call you strong easily 5 times a day. “You’re very powerful.” Insert 10 seconds of intense eye contact. “I like that.” It’s both a compliment and a personal confession.

Started lifting and weight training so much more after you both got together. Says it’s because you're his inspiration but it’s really because he doesn’t want his big sexy s/o in the gym by themselves so other people can hit on them.

——————————————————————

Tenya Iida

Feels kinda bad that he finds your strength so sexy. Every time you lift something heavy without effort his brain gets all fuzzy. Feels like he’s almost objectifying you, so he’ll try and clear his conscience by showering you with compliments. “That was… an admirable display of strength! Very commendable!!”

Praises your physical form with dramatic sincerity but tries to frame the compliments around how hard you work rather than how you look. “Your dedication to physical wellness is exemplary!”

Loves loves loves your legs. Tries to be so subtle about it but anytime you flash a little leg at him he’s getting hot under the collar.

Don’t get it confused though, he’s still going to be your knight in shining armor. You could literally bench-press him, and he’d still instinctively stand in front of you when danger arises. “A hero must shield their loved ones, no matter their physical capacity!”

——————————————————————

Eijiro Kirishima

Literally obsessed with you. Never shuts up about how cool and manly you are. Posts your gym selfies with captions like “LOOK AT THIS POWERHOUSE!!” followed by 10 bicep emojis.

Always wants to play wrestle just so you can overpower him. It’s so hot to him. Gets giddy when you pin him. “Babe, do it again. Slam me. Please.”

Is so touchy-feely with you. Will happily rest his head on your chest in public. Wraps his arm around your waist and tells people, “They could literally crush me in a hug. Isn’t that awesome?”

Loves working out with you. His dream day consists of you both waking up early, hitting the gym, protein shakes, flexing at each other, and ending the day cuddled up after a workout. He’s so whipped it’s not even funny.

——————————————————————

Hitoshi Shinsou

Was shocked but definitely not mad the first time he found out you were jacked, he blinked slowly, nodded his head, and went, “…Nice.” He’s chill about it, most of the time.

He won’t admit it, but he loves being manhandled by you. Pick him up, move him out of your way, put him in your lap. He’s yours. Melts. Absolutely losing it on the inside.

Loves teasing and flirting with you while commenting on your physique. “Wow, those arms could kill a man. Good thing I’m into that.” Tries to come off as smooth and suave but it just makes him sound like such a little freak.

Is extremely possessive and jealous at times. If another muscular person flirts with you, his arms are immediately around your waist, pulling you close to him. Will actually crash out if he loses his Herculean baddie to some meathead.

——————————————————————

Requests are open!! <3

[taxideermied]

I'm not really interested in spending a bunch of time relitigating these issues when I initially responded to you because you were asking for advice and I feel like I have spent a disproportionate time on this subject on my blog generally. I will reiterate some of my points here, but I hope it's okay that I sign off after that. I can't change your mind, and while I can't know what's truly in your heart, I can't help but feel that your response is more interested in debate and refutations than in earnestly considering a paradigm shift on this issue. I pose questions below not because I am looking for an answer, but because I hope you will consider them. If you read anything, please read my conclusion.

Point One:

But "I can physically shapeshift in shared reality" is not an unprovable claim - it should be an extremely provable claim! And it's that very fact that makes it subject to "extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." We're explicitly talking about claims that should be provable, because that's what shared reality means.

I can understand why you are making this distinction (unprovable vs provable but unproven) but I don't think it's helpful to the discussion. This line of thought would apply also to physical nonhumans who have the brain, organs, DNA, etc of animals, no? And yet no onus is placed on them to disclose these statements as unreality or be subject to needling for proof lest they be shunted from therian spaces. There is no oft-repeated adage in the community about the danger of these individuals and their discussions, and they are mostly accepted into the community (in relativity to p-shifters who have the door slammed in their faces at every opportunity).

Beyond that, you say that personal reality claims are just fine, but I have seen many p-shifters discuss on multiple occasions the fact that those around them cannot see their shifts. They are still thrown in with "evil p-shifters" because of the label they use, and are treated accordingly by the broader community. The fact of the matter is that if you are a physical shifter, you will be repeatedly and loudly reminded that your presence is unwanted no matter how you discuss your shifts. If you can double bookkeep, you may be tolerated, but you will certainly not be made to feel welcomed, and your presence will remain conditional on the comfort of the "real" therians around you. And then when you finally give up and express a desire to be in a group with like minded individuals, you will be called a cultist.

And again this says nothing of the folks who literally just cannot double bookkeep. I don't think you believe these individuals have no place in the community, but your position leaves them with no recourse or wiggle room.

Point Two:

I guess my problem with this argument is, you see it as a hypothetical or potential harm - I don't. I've seen it happen, I've met people harmed by it.

Yes, as have I. I am singling this part out in particular because I want it to be explicitly clear to readers that the "hypothetical" in my reply refers to the Schrödinger's cat nature of the harm in this situation (both present and not present vs the harm that is very much is present), not that I think no one has been harmed this way.

posts and accounts are blockable, how many people don't realize they'll be harmed by interacting with that kind of thing until they're already knee-deep into it?

Unfortunately, I do not know how many end up in this situation. But I do know that right now my friends are being harmed by the demand to double bookkeep. That is the critical difference in this situation. Members of this community are hurting now and will continue to be hurt indefinitely until the demand of double bookkeeping is lifted and the stigma surrounding discussions of the sort are erased.

This situation is not unique to p-shifters anyways. There are a great number of triggering rabbitholes online one can fall down with or without realizing. I, again, do not see a way around this issue that does not demand the silence of those who just cannot double bookkeep.

I do, frankly, think that people have a certain responsibility to protect the people around them from discussions that have a certain likelihood of hurting other people

I don't necessarily disagree with this point, but I don't think that the responsibility extends into territory where it itself is also doing harm which is, like it or not, what you are arguing for. Again, double bookkeeping is hurting folks, and this harm is what, less relevant/important/severe in your rationale than the harm someone could experience seeing posts without it?

I do think there's some inherent harm to absolutely refusing to distinguish between personal and shared reality in public spaces

What inherent harm? How is there not equal inherent harm in demanding the separation, as has been explained here and by others? Is there not equal harm in framing those who cant double bookkeep (again, you say "refuse" as if everyone has a choice) as dangerous and/or malicious elements?

Because as others have pointed out in your replies, internet safety is a personal responsibility, and I'm not convinced that a personal blog in relevant tags is as public a space as you are framing it when anyone can block the tags and accounts and never have to see them again. If you're uncomfortable online or triggered, the onus is on you to get away from it, not for those making you uncomfortable to stop.

Conclusion:

I am positive you continue to talk about p-shifters in this way because you think that it is beneficial to the community, but you yourself have also acknowledged the damage and harm you are causing. Does whatever service you think you are doing outweigh the damage you know you are causing? If you continue to speak on this subject in the way you have, no one can absolve you of the harm you do. Asking for a perfect solution and not being handed it does not justify your clinging to an imperfect one in the face of better options. You have been given alternatives that do not perpetuate sanism, and you refuse to take them. You refuse to drop this point despite being told time and time again by those affected that what you are saying has negative repercussions. Please reflect. Please consider taking the advice in my first response.

Its cool that you are reminding people that sending sui baits / harassment is bad, even if you disagree with the person they're being sent to. That's v important. Unfortunately I think the core root of the problem is that your positions on that topic do often directly lead to people being hateful and exclusionary.

You constantly talk about how both the label and concept of p-shifting is bad and harmful, and that anyone using the label is choosing to align themselves with harmful people and community and maybe even confusing or grooming young altsrhumans.

And you constantly talk about how people *must* seperate shared reality from personal reality, and that not doing so is bad and harmful and can lead to worse things.

So therefore, people who disagree with the above, by your own logic, are going to be immediately cast as bad and harmful, and possibly even as groomers, cultists, or otherwise.

You have made a position that by default leads to the villifying of the people you disagree with. And as was pointed out in the post you're referencing, it just so happens to align with systemic oppression of many groups. So like it or not, you are directly contributing to the mindset that causes ppl to harass others.

Also to add on to previous anon, I'm not meaning to come across as like. Accusatory? This is my genuine perception / opinion of how people get to the point of sending sui bait to people's inboxes. And my perception of how you talk about these subjects. I don't think you're doing any of that on purpose? But that's just how it comes across. Its just really sad to see someone who was in the community for years leave because of this. And I'm sorry, but I think we all know who he's talking about when it said "big name" alterhuman accounts who are against these things

Yeah, I'm not unaware of that. And I don't know how to fix that without flipping completely to "the separation of shared reality/personal reality doesn't matter at all," which I strenuously disagree with - because while it may theoretically work fine on the level of, say, individual nonhumans, if you embrace that as true then anyone can say anything and no one can fact-check it ever, and on the broader scale that does not work. If you accept that the distinction between personal reality and shared reality doesn't matter, then flat-earthers and young earth creationists have claims just as valid as actual science does, and - surely I don't need to explain the problems with that?

To explain where I'm at more thoroughly/clearly: I do think the distinction between personal reality and shared reality is important and I think it's important to be clear when you're talking about one vs the other, because one can be disproven and the other can't, and if you don't clarify the general observer is going to assume you're talking about shared reality. That's to say nothing of the harm that encountering unreality (to use the common term) like that can do for a lot of people, which is yet another reason it's important to make the distinguishment. But I also don't think that means personal reality should be seen as less important or less real for you than shared reality, though gods know we've got a long way to go on unraveling that particular bias.

And while on the one hand I don't generally think it's helpful or right to go around reality checking people, especially strangers, this community specifically objectively does have a long history of p-shifting claims directly and consistently leading to abuse, and it becomes a risk calculation of whether letting this person go around using the exact same language that group has historically used and/or doing the same things they did is going to do more net harm than telling them to provide proof or fuck off is. Particularly when it comes to the specific word p-shifter, in my opinion at least, if someone's using language they know comes from that history, they... shouldn't be surprised when people assume they're doing the thing that that word has historically meant. (And historically, even beyond the abuse, the most well-known p-shifters were often just flat-out lying, and at least a few of them came out later and openly admitted it. They were not experiencing a personal reality difference, they were lying about shared reality to manipulate people.)

And that's the problem, isn't it - where do you draw the line? When do you pull the alarm cord on someone for lying and misleading people about what is and isn't possible in shared reality? "Making false claims about shared reality" is a clear and objective line, and while I recognize that it's got flaws, I don't really see a better one. I guess you could draw the line at "telling other people they can teach them how to do this," but in practice, things like "telling people this can't be taught but a select few are actually genetically shapeshifters (and you might be one)" is usually just as manipulative, so that doesn't really work. I'm at a point where I genuinely don't feel like there is a solution that doesn't hurt someone, and so I'm falling back on a solution that's consistent, not subjective, and as far as I can tell avoids as much harm as possible. If you've got a better solution, I'm open to hearing it, because I don't like the problems this one has, but right now it's the best I've got.

And because apparently it needs to be said (not to you, just in general), I'll tack on this: good lord, people need to get it through their heads that harassment and especially suicide bait are never helpful. It never helps. It's never justified. Even if someone was intentionally lying and starting a p-shifting cult that wouldn't fucking help anything. "This is a harmful thing/a red flag for a harmful thing" is not a fucking call for harassment it's a "you may want to avoid people doing this" and I am so tired of having to disclaimer that because I can't trust people to behave like adults. The thing I mean when I talk about this is "I think this is a bad idea and something I think most people should steer clear of because of the problems it can and does cause, and it can be a red flag for old p-shifting bullshit making a comeback" and it's a little insane to me that people have taken that and jumped all the way to "so I should harass and suicide bait people who do it, got it" instead of, I don't know, "so I should keep that in mind and be a little cautious of people doing that and maybe disallow claims about shared reality in any spaces I moderate for for safety," which seems like a much more reasonable place to land to me. Maybe I'm just not being clear enough in saying that I do still uphold "mind your own business" in relation to this unless people are actively getting hurt, I don't know.

Anyway. Yeah. Tl;dr I recognize that there's a link here but I genuinely don't see a better position to take that's internally consistent and doesn't also get people hurt. If you've got one, I'm open to hearing it, genuinely, though you'll all have to forgive me if I respond to this discussion a little slowly, my life's kind of busy right now.

[asha-mage]

I think the philosophical difference between Wheel of Time and Game of Thrones's class politics is best shown in how they depict their servant characters.

Take Lini and Lars as really good examples: they are a nurse and cook respectively, and lack any sort of structural power or protection at all, something they both are very aware of. But despite their relatively low place in society they are still principled, intelligent, women who the narrative treats with a lot of respect. Lars's acts of mercy and courage come up repeatedly- from refusing to be part of what she sees as unjust punishments of novices in The Dragon Reborn, to smuggling Siuan, Leane and Min to safety in The Shadow Rising, to being ready to break Egwene free of her imprisonment herself in Knife of Dreams. Keyly, Lars does all this not out of any loyalty to other more powerful characters, but entirely because of her own sense of right and wrong. She has no concern for the shifts in Tower politics because that is completely out of her control and she knows it. Rather she makes choices based entirely on what she thinks is right, refusing to be complicit in something she thinks is wrong and taking huge risks to do what she can for others whenever the opportunity presents itself.

In the same vein Lini, while personally loyal to Morgase and her family, is one of the few people in Morgase's life who is willing to treat her as a human being first and a Queen second: speaking her mind even when she knows it will upset Morgase, giving honest advice and wisdom, and generally refusing to acknowledge the huge power gap in their relationship- and Morgase not only allows this but clearly values it, even when it makes her angry, because with Lini she doesn't have to have any pretense, and she can trust the sincerity of Lini's words in a way she can't with courtiers and other rulers. When Lini helps Morgase escape the palace in The Fires of Heaven, she isn't doing it out of fealty to her Queen the way the rest of the team is. She is doing it because she cares for Morgase as a individual, and as a girl she helped raise to adulthood. As they continue on the run, the nuance and complexities of their relationship are explored more heavily- particularly after Morgase abdicates, and Lini's loyalty endures, because it was never about Morgase's throne or her power, but her as a person.

Contrast that with the way Games of Thrones depicts it's servants. The only ones who receive any real depth of character exploration are a few of the House Stark servants, and even then they exist largely as extensions of their masters. Old Nan and Hodor lack agency of their own, and they are not treated as having value by the narrative as independent characters, or having interior lives, motivations, or relationships to complexly explore. Even if we stretch the definition of servant to include a clerical tutor like Septa Mordane and the (presumably) commoner born Knight Rodrik Cassel this picture doesn't improve- because the primary role of both is to suffer and be harmed as a way to hurt other, more important characters.

And this is something you can walk out to pretty much the entire way the two worlds are built. Every time Jordan shows off a new place from Fal Dara to the Waste he remembers to answer the question 'who is cleaning the chamber pots and cooking the meals the sweeping the streets'- and some of his most interesting world building details from the Aiel gai'shain, to the structure of Borderlander's households via the shambayan and shatayan are born of his answers. More over he remembers that those people have humanity: their own wants, needs, and beliefs that are important to them even if they aren't important players in the scope of the narrative. Even if our heroes are stopping at a random inn for a single night, Jodan doesn't forget to show that inn is staffed with people who are going about their own lives entirely independently of the main characters who just wandered in.

By contrast the commoners in Westeros are largely invisible except when they are being impacted by the actions of the noble characters. The idea of the 'small folk' is presented as this nebulous concept, a vaguely homogeneous monolith that in theory is supposed to matter to the nobles but in practice doesn't really- which would an interesting class commentary if the narrative didn't also treat them that way- as if their only real value is being the foundation on which these power struggles are being fought. We're not encouraged to empathize with the cook, or the street sweeper, or the maid gathering laundry because we're not directed to notice them unless they are being a problem, which is exactly how all the nobles in Game of Thrones behave. There's also no nuance or complexity to the relationships between servants and their masters- it is only an expectation of simple obedience, and no energy is ever expended on the relationships between servants at all.

Wheel of Time from the beginning takes the position that everyone maters- maybe not to the fates of nations and the path of destiny, but to themselves and to the story that is being told. Game of Thrones takes the position that only nobles matter and everyone else matters only in relation to them- which for a story ultimately about an aristocratic civil war is fine, but it limits the depth of the world and the ability to say anything meaningful about class or society.

[clfixationstation]

"this ur fave?"

saw this on twt and it did make me giggle because Armin did far worse than Caitlyn ever did, so if you're an Armin fan you realllly can't be going that hard on Cait (said as a massive Armin fan who's eh on Cait).

you can discuss how the narrative of Arcane handled her character or policing as a system, or their differing ideologies, etc, but comparing Caitlyn to Hitler when your fave is Armin, who LITERALLY killed thousands personally and enabled near omnicide (albeit (mostly) unknowingly), is wild. the comparison is extremely distasteful and inaccurate - especially having seen the racist "Caitler" caricature going around.

Caitlyn's crimes are bad enough without such exaggeration: she was a dictator doing evil cop stuff, not committing genocide or waging war for territorial expansion, or even committing mass murder.

It reminds me of the Eren stans I'd encounter back in the day who hated on Catra and it was like. Oh you love your glorious king when he does omnicide but a catgirl does it and suddenly it's too far? 🧐 alright buddy

honestly comparing the crimes of most AoT characters is almost always gonna be a losing battle lol. though it seems twt users are now claiming Mikasa intentionally enabled genocide (though she ended it) and that AoT supports genocide?? it explicitly does not, what are we doing here

[yardsards]

people love an "i'll take care of you" "it's rotten work" "not to me, not if it's you" character dynamic until the character who needs to be taken care of is disabled. then it's supposedly fucked up and toxic for a person to have to take care of someone else.

[bunnyboy-juice]

awawawawawawa

[guiltyonsundays]

Incredible sequence of posts on the dash just now

[bravewolfvesperia]

🌙 Transgressor Yuri moodboard. 🌙

[pupuseriazag]

A friend told me about the Murata leak for Natlán and if its real I am going to be so fucking disapppointed but sadly not surprised.

I've been expecting them to AT FUCKING LEAST do some fucking research on mesoamerican fashion and not just do stereotypical eagle warriors (or worse, doing whatever the fuck is going on with that Murata leak). And listen if thats supposed to be the archon I m going to fucking explode

So many good designs could come just by taking the Mexica pantheon as reference. Since shes supposed to be the god of war she could take some symbolism from Huitzilopochtli! Since, you know, HE IS THE GOD OF WAR IN THE MEXICA PANTHEON

Thats of course assuming we were right about Natlán being based in Mesoamerica (which by the name makes sense since the suffix -tlán is often used in Nahuatl meaning "place of ---" (examples from my country: Suchitlan, Cuzcatlan, Usulutan, Amatitlan.) -tan being the Nawat variant.)

I just hope they dont go that fucking route or keep it a level where the most we can get is the traditional garments acquired AFTER the spanish conquest, ponganle un poco de empeño por la gran puta, que hay un REVERGASAL de donde sacar si se ponen a investigar por lo menos una pinche media hora leyendo codices y libros sobre mesoamerica.

And thats assuming they would only use the mexica culture as main inspiration tho, if they are planning to take ALL mesoamerican cultures (or at least, the ones we have more archives and info about) its going to be more difficult considering the differences in clothing/myths/makeup/weapons.

I am killing myself if they dont add weapons made from obsydian tho. A macahuitl at fucking least or a long tecpatl as sword

[explode-this]

.

[madlori]

My ankle journey

I am sharing this with all you good people on the dash because I am so fucking mad it took so long for me to learn it and if I can spare one (1) person the agony it will be worth it.

So for like...oh, 8 or 9 months, I've been struggling with pain/inflammation/tendinitis in my left Achilles tendon. I don't know what caused it. It just started up (welcome to middle age, this shit happens). It wasn't severe enough to be debilitating, but it was annoying and limiting. It was also intermittent, in that some days it would be very painful and other days hardly at all. The kind of shoe I was wearing affected it a lot.

Now, I have bone spurs on both heels (it's just a thing that happens as you get older sometimes). I'm also aware that heel pain is usually the result of tight calf muscles that pull and irritate the tendon. I tried stretching that calf muscle. You know the stretch, this bitch right here:

I did it all the time. I also iced the ankle after walking for awhile, hoping to avoid inflammation. Results were...unsatisfying.

I went to:

A chiropractor

A podiatrist

A physical therapist

A bodywork coach

They all gave me some variation on the "strengthen your calf muscle, stretch your calf muscle" advice. I continued doing this without results.

I was getting frustrated, and a little afraid that this was just my life now. Finally, I thought...maybe some targeted massage might help. I asked for rec on a local FB site and was pointed to a woman who specializes in therapeutic massage including cupping, etc.

I went to her a week ago.

She spent over half our first session working on my left lower leg. Within about 10 minutes of making my eyes water, she uttered the sentence I did not know I had been waiting to hear:

"Oh, it's your soleus."

Excuse me, what?

"It's your soleus that's the culprit. It's all tied up and stiff." She started digging into it and I felt literal sparks run up my leg as she released adhesions and got the muscle moving a little. When she finally put the leg down, it felt like it was on fire with all the blood rushing into it.

She said, "You'll need to stretch your soleus. It'll clear up, but it'll take a bit of time - tendons take ages to heal."

But I HAVE been stretching.

"No, you haven't. The usual straight-leg calf stretch only stretches the gastrocnemius, that's the big belly muscle in your calf. That's not your problem. That stretch doesn't stretch the soleus. Don't worry, I'll show you how to stretch it."

My mind is spinning.

So here are the muscles in question:

The gastroc (as the pros call it) just attaches down the back but the soleus runs underneath it from the knee around the side to the heel. The lower part above the ankle is where it typically gets tight and forms adhesions.

To stretch it, you do the same calf thing where you put your foot back and press your heel to the ground, but you have to do it with your KNEE BENT:

The bent knee keeps the gastroc from engaging. It's one of those selfish muscles (like traps) - if you give it an inch, it'll just take over and prevent other muscles from working or stretching. There are other ways to stretch the soleus but this is the easiest and you can literally do it anywhere. I've been doing it while standing and waiting for things (the elevator to come, the toast to toast). You just put the heel back and bend the knee. It's kind of like curtseying.

The minute I did this stretch, I could FEEL where it was pulling on my tendon. I knew that THIS had been the problem.

The massage therapist also told me to stop icing my heel. She said icing is for an acute injury, but a more chronic aggravation needs heat, to increase blood flow for healing. She recommended elevation with heat every day (I've been doing it in bed during "phone before bed" time).

I have been doing the soleus stretch at least half a dozen times a day for almost a week, and the ankle is at least 70% better. It is still a little tight and tender, but the improvement is significant. I think a few more weeks will have it feeling normal.

I am...blown away by this. This massage therapist was able to pinpoint an issue in only a few minutes that eluded all the other professionals I saw. I can't wait to go back to her and have her solve all my other problems, tbh.

[cleo-fox]

Safehouse

Summary: This mission wasn't supposed to go as badly as it has. There wasn't supposed to be a blizzard, you weren't supposed to get snowed in at a remote cabin, and there certainly was supposed to be more than one bed. And none of this would be a problem were it not for your completely irrational, ill-advised crush on Loki.

Pairing: Loki x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Minors DNI, p in v sex, fingering, workplace crushes, There Was Only One Bed.

A/N: I didn't think this was going to be the next fic I posted, but this has been 95% finished for over a year and I just figured out the final 5% in the last 72 hours. Don't ask me how my brain works because I truly don't know sometimes. Also, perhaps after you read this, you will think "hey, I would like to read another fic that involves railing Loki in the middle of a blizzard." Well, my friend, then you should read Some Things Are Easier to Say in the Dark by the great @loki-cees-all because not only is there a blizzard and one bed, it is also beautifully written.

You didn’t expect this mission to go as badly as it has.

It was supposed to be quick, one of those tidy in and out things that almost feels routine—or at least as routine as things ever get in this line of work.

No one counted on a fucking blizzard, though.

It comes upon you suddenly enough to feel suspicious—one moment, it’s slate grey skies and barely a puff of wind and the next thing you know, the wind is howling and whipping at your coat and you can barely see three feet ahead of you.

“What the fuck is this?” you shout at Loki, who looks just as perplexed as you feel. “I thought you said the radar was clear.”

“It was,” he says, frowning. He taps at the screen of the device, an overly complicated piece of tech that you’d delegated to him because Tony’s brief training sessions had made your eyes glaze over. Still, though, you know enough to tell that you’re looking at a weather map and there’s absolutely no sign of the storm that’s howling around you.

An uneasy feeling is bubbling in the pit of your stomach and prickling up the back of your neck. Everything about this feels wrong.

“We need to find shelter,” says Loki. You know him well enough to tell that he’s pretending to be really calm and unbothered because he doesn’t want you to know that something’s wrong. Normally, you’d call him out on that bullshit, but the creepy crawly feeling running up your spine coupled with the storm that doesn’t seem to exist has you itching to get inside as soon as possible.

“There’s a safehouse just west of this hill,” he continues, tapping at the screen.

“Let’s go, then.”

The trek to the safehouse is fairly demanding, even though the distance is short. You’re walking straight into the wind, which seems to grow stronger and more biting by the minute. The snow under your feet grows slick with ice and your pace slows to a crawl, though even that doesn’t stop you from slipping.

The safehouse turns out to be an unassuming cabin that’s a little too shabby to be rustic; in the biting wind and dim light of the storm, it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. You make it to the door and a few minutes later, you’re inside. 

The cabin has been unoccupied long enough to put a light layer of dust on some of the furniture, but not enough to render anything musty or moth-ridden. It is charming in a way that you don’t normally see with S.H.I.E.L.D. safehouses—handcrafted furniture that’s a little rough around the edges, pine board floors, a squat wood burning stove in the center of the room that makes you want to curl up and read a book. It’s…homey and maybe even comfortable, two qualities that S.H.I.E.L.D. is decidedly not known for. It’s a welcome surprise, given how this mission has gone so far.

Loki bolts the door the moment you’re both inside and quickly turns his attention to the windows. 

“I’m putting up wards,” he says. There’s a grim set to his jaw that you don’t particularly like, largely because you only see it when something is wrong.

The back of your neck prickles.

The wood burning stove is not merely decorative—it’s the cabin’s only heat source. There are a few places that are intended to blend in no matter what—you suspect this is one of them. You manage to get a fire going and you settle yourself in front of it while Loki works. You know enough to not interrupt him, even though you feel like you’re about to bubble over with questions.

It takes him a while to finish warding all the windows and you notice he shuts the curtains for each one once he’s finished, which sends another chill up your spine. When he finally joins you by the fire, he looks a little tired.

“So, I take it you can’t just magic that storm away or something,” you say, with a casual sort of tone that sounds strained even to you.

“It doesn’t work like that,” he says, which you sort of expected. The set of his jaw is still tight. “And even if it did, this isn’t an ordinary storm. Someone is doing this.”

“Yeah, I kinda got that impression.” You pause, worrying your lower lip between your teeth. “Any idea who?”

He shakes his head. “Someone very ancient. Angry.”

You exhale. “Great. Do I want to know what the deal is with the curtains?”

“We should not look outside after the sun sets.”

The skin on the back of your neck prickles. “Why?”

There’s a reason that they call Loki “Silvertongue:” he is a compelling, eloquent speaker. And the somewhat irritating part is that he can do this extemporaneously and effortlessly—he doesn’t need to think about it at all.

So the fact that he pauses for a moment to think scares you a lot. His gaze drifts to the fire, quiet and thoughtful, as though he might find his answers written in the embers.

“Imagine every ghost story you heard as a child coming true,” he says finally.

You don’t like how spare he is on the details, but an icy chill works its way up your spine and you get the eerie sense that someone is listening. Suddenly, you don’t feel like asking any more questions.

“Okay,” you say softly.

*

Being in close quarters with Loki is…something.

There was a time early on, back when you first started working together when you thought something could maybe happen between the two of you. It was hard not to—Loki is attractive, certainly, but he has a particular magnetic quality that can make a stadium full of people think that he’s talking just to them (incidentally, this is also one of the qualities that gets red flags and warnings added to his file at S.H.I.E.L.D.) When you experience that up close, well…it’s intense, to say the least. It becomes easy to believe that his smiles mean something more, that he sees something intriguing in you.

Your feelings for Loki aren’t exactly a crush, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Crushes are silly infatuations that make people do incredibly stupid things and entertain incredibly stupid hopes. You are a professional with a good head on your shoulders: you know better. You’re attracted to him, but it doesn’t matter because nothing is going to happen.

Perhaps more importantly: Loki is a god and you are not. You have a good relationship—your banter comes easily and he seems to enjoy talking to you more than he likes talking to the average person—but it’s strictly professional and that’s all it ever will be. The fact that you’ve been working closely together for three years without a hint of anything romantic only confirms your theory. He’s your colleague, nothing more.

Except…being trapped in a small cabin with him is dredging up a whole swarm of feelings that you would have sworn you had gotten over.

And the storm is showing no signs of stopping.

And there’s only one bed.

It’s a fucking cliché, the kind of thing you’d roll your eyes at if you saw it in a movie or read it in a book, but you’re a professional and you’re also not sleeping on the floor. Besides, you’ve both got sleeping bags and it’s a double bed—it’s not like you’ve got to curl up together or anything.

Not that you’d complain if you had to.

Which, again, is another feeling you thought you were over.

The wood burning stove is doing its best to keep up, but it’s still no match for the storm outside, even though Loki’s done something to the logs to keep them regenerating as they burn. You dig out an extra pair of woolen socks from your pack and pull on your fleece over your sweater and long sleeved thermal. You pile your coat on top of your sleeping bag, along with your share of the scratchy wool blankets you’d pulled out of the cedar chest by the foot of the bed.

Loki watches you with the lightly amused look that always feels like he must be quietly making fun of you.

“What?” you say as you settle yourself under the blankets. “Some of us are delicate mortals who find the cold a little uncomfortable.”

“I said absolutely nothing,” he says, though the glimmer in his eyes undercuts his point.

“You were thinking it.”

“Oh, the things I think of would turn your head, darling.”

You know that there’s no innuendo specific to you in that statement, but your body reacts like there is: your heart and stomach do a complicated series of flips that would put trapeze artists to shame and a heavy, familiar heat stirs hopefully in your hips. Outwardly, you roll your eyes at him and focus on arranging the blankets over your legs. 

“I’m well aware that your mind is a kaleidoscope of horrors,” you say. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t say it’s horrors so much as—”

You recognize that look in his eye: it is the herald of something wildly inappropriate. And while you’re no prude, the reality is that you’re about to share a bed with him and you will have no outlet for whatever feelings of lust this will inevitably provoke. Time to change the subject to something as far away from sex as possible, which happens to be whatever creepy fuckery is happening outside. 

“Speaking of horrors: why are you being so cagey about what’s going on out there?” you say.

You almost feel a little guilty as the teasing expression disappears from his face and settles into something grimmer. “It’s safer this way,” he says as he sets about preparing his own sleeping bag and blankets.

“That doesn’t really answer my question,” you say.

“I know.”

It occurs to you that this is a perfect example of the cryptic bullshit that makes his intentions so hard to read. Is he saying this because he cares about you? Is he trying to prevent problems down the road? All of the above or something else entirely? Nobody fucking knows, least of all you.

You scowl at him and he looks completely unbothered, which is typical.

“I hate it when you do this, you know,” you say.

There’s a slight twitch to his lips that could be a hint of a smile and you’re embarrassed by how giddy that makes you feel. 

“I know,” he says.

“It makes me feel like you don’t trust me or something.”

He stops what he’s doing and looks at you and his face is so honest and open that it makes your breath catch in your throat.

“Of course I trust you,” he says.

There’s something unsaid in his expression and you’re not quite sure what it is, but it leaves you with a warm glow in your chest.

“Okay,” you say softly.

For the briefest of moments, the difference between god and human doesn’t feel so impossibly vast.

But it’s only a moment.

*

You fall asleep quickly, even with Loki lying so close by that you could count his breaths if you wanted to.

You wake sometime in the middle of the night. The wind is still howling outside. Your mouth is dry and you fumble on the nightstand for your water bottle. Your fingers close around empty space and it occurs to you that you’d left it over by the fire.

You lie still, staring at the ceiling. The blankets have warmed up with your body heat and you’re not keen to brave the chill of the cabin. You could wake Loki up, maybe ask him to summon your water bottle to you. You nearly snort with laughter at the thought. That would go over well.

After a moment, you muster up all of your strength and willpower and haul yourself out of bed.

It’s not as bad as you thought it would be, in the end. You pad over to the fire and take a long drink from your water bottle, which turns out to be almost empty. You go to the little kitchen to refill it, idly listening to the wind howl outside.

You wonder if it’s still snowing, if the snow is piling up in drifts against the doors and windows, freezing you in. The thought of being stranded here with Loki is admittedly appealing.

Your brain is still a fuzzy from sleep and you’re a little distracted thinking about being snowed in with Loki and for just a moment, you forget what he said about not looking outside. You reach up to the kitchen window and push the fabric of the curtain aside to see how bad the snow is.

You’re not frightened at first because you only see shadows, but after a moment, you realize that the shadows are moving in an unnatural, broken sort of way, like someone had sculpted them into rough facsimiles of people and commanded them to walk, without really explaining what walking was.

Quite suddenly, they all turn and look at you. Or they would be looking at you if they had eyes. There is simply a void where their faces are, though somehow you can tell that their mouths are open, gaping and hungry, showing all of their teeth.

You feel something hook into the thread of your thoughts, tugging and pulling at your mind. The world tilts on its axis and there’s a sharp and white hot burning at the base of your skull that makes you cry out.

In the haze of pain, you think to yourself that it’s like they’re trying to take your soul and the shadows grin at you with too many teeth and a hissing, sibilant chorus of voices says, yes, we are hungry. So very hungry.

You know in that moment that they intend to kill you.

You are leaning closer to the window, your thoughts growing dark and murky as something saws away at the thing that tethers your soul to your body and there is so much pain and all of those horrible spindly hands and grinning mouths are reaching for you—

Someone is grabbing you around the waist and you scream because you think this must be the end, but instead, they’re pulling you away from the window and yanking the curtain closed and you realize it’s Loki.

There is a flash of green light and the connection between you and whatever is outside breaks abruptly and the pain retreats to a dull ache, like your body is carefully starting to repair those shredded, fraying threads that the shadows were tugging on. 

Loki’s eyes are wild and he looks at you like he half expects you to disintegrate or melt into the shadows. You are suddenly shaking so badly that your legs start to buckle.

“I’m s-s-sorry,” you say through chattering teeth. The cold you feel is bone deep and unnatural. “F-f-forgot.”

“Foolish girl.” He says it without malice, almost with affection, though his face is drawn tight with something like worry. Your legs are about to fail you, but he’s right there before they can, scooping you up into his arms like it’s nothing.

You snuggle up against his chest almost automatically, your body instinctively seeking out heat. “S-s-s-sorry, c-c-c-cold,” you manage to squeak out.

“I know,” he says and it almost sounds gentle. He is carrying you across the room and climbing back into bed with you in his arms, drawing the pile of blankets and sleeping bags over the two of you. 

The wind howls and you shudder, realizing for perhaps the first time that it may not be the wind making those noises. Loki stiffens, his grip on you tightening. 

“Did you see their eyes?”

You shake your head.

You feel some of the tension leave him, though not all.

You have so many questions, but that unnatural, bone deep cold is making you sluggish and sleepy and your teeth are chattering so hard you wonder if you’d even be able to speak at all.

“You need to rest,” he says. The cold feels like the sort of thing that could easily claim you while you sleep and he must see that fear reflected in your eyes because his expression softens ever so slightly. “Rest. I’ll keep you safe.”

You don’t like how quickly that line melts you. You tell yourself that it’s only because you’re so cold and tired, but you know that’s not entirely true. 

You allow your head to drop to his chest and he readjusts his grip on you, smoothing one hand against your hair, resting his chin on the top of your head. You try to catalog all of the different senses—the way he smells like snow and pine, the heat of his body pressed against yours, the feeling of his arms wrapped around you—but sleep is pulling insistently at your eyelids and you find yourself struggling to stay awake.

“Rest,” he says, and this time it sounds like a command.

Your eyes slowly slide shut and sleep finally claims you.

It seems like you sleep for a long time. Your dreams are strange and unsettling and have an odd sort of veneer, like they’re real but not quite. 

The first time you wake up, it’s because of a nightmare. You are back at the window and the things outside are threading their fingers underneath the panes, reaching for you with their spindly hands, clacking their too sharp teeth. You don’t know where Loki is and you’re trying to back away as they reach for you, and one of them is wrapping its fingers around your wrist and you can see its eyes and—

You thrash out in your sleep and gentle hands are soothing you. You wake abruptly, shaking, blearily looking up at Loki’s face.

“They—they were coming for me,” you manage to sputter out.

“Shh.” Loki is stroking your back. “You’re safe. I won’t let them harm you.”

Your pounding heartbeat takes a moment to settle, but the gentle pressure of Loki’s hands on your back calms you slightly. There’s a tenderness in his actions that you don’t necessarily expect, but it also feels so right and natural that you wonder how you could have ever been surprised by it.

“What are they?” you ask.

“That’s an answer for daylight, love,” he says. “Go back to sleep. You’re safe.”

You want to protest and push for answers, but you’re so very tired and he’s smoothing your hair again and you can feel exhaustion tugging at your eyelids, ready to pull you back under.

“I’m holding you to that,” you manage to mumble at him. “I’m not going to forget.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” You can hear the smile in his voice. “Sleep, darling.”

You fall back under.

Your dreams are still wild and strange this time around. You wake again a few hours later, teeth chattering and tears streaming down your face. Loki wraps you even more tightly in his arms, drawing more blankets over the two of you, conjuring an additional pile of furs. You try to tell him to save his magic for the wards and the fire, but he hushes you and mutters something about how that’s not exactly how it works, even though you’re pretty sure it is.

You sleep again.

You have a half memory of him quieting you and pressing his lips against your forehead, but you’re not quite sure if it’s real or wishful thinking.

When you wake again, it’s still dark and the wind is still howling. The cold has retreated somewhat—it’s not as sharp, not as biting, but you still need the warmth of the blankets and Loki’s arms to keep it at bay.

You’re a bit more clearheaded now, so there’s part of you that feels a little embarrassed about what happened. It was a stupid mistake. Rookie level. You know better.

“Are you awake?” Loki’s voice rumbles pleasantly against your ear.

“Sort of.” You hope he continues holding you. You’re not quite ready to give up his warmth or his arms just yet.

“How is one ‘sort of’ awake? Either you aren’t or you are,” he says.

“I’m very talented,” you say. It’s not particularly funny, but he humors you with a soft laugh, more exhalation than anything else.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

“Still cold,” you say. While it is true, you’re also secretly hoping that the more you emphasize this, the more likely he is to continue holding you. “It’s better than it was, but it’s still bad.”

As if to prove a point, a shudder works its way through you. Loki shifts, rolling over so his body covers yours, pulling the blankets up so they cover your shoulders. It helps, but there’s now a degree of intimacy there that makes your heart stumble in your chest and your breath catch in your throat. You know he doesn’t mean anything by it, but with his green eyes bright above you, you can’t help but hope he does.

Leave it to him to ruin the moment.

“That was very foolish of you,” he says, his expression becoming serious and his voice taking on that hard edge that you only hear when he’s trying to pick a fight.

You exhale sharply. “Are you seriously trying to do this right now? I told you it was an accident. I was half asleep.”

“I’m not fond of close calls,” he says tightly.

“Oh bullshit,” you snap. “You fucking love chaos, don’t tell—”

“It’s not chaos, it was foolish and dangerous—”

“For fuck’s sake, do you think I’m not aware of that? I’m not—”

“You could have died.” He’s not yelling, but he’s raising his voice and there’s an unexpectedly strained quality to his tone that you don’t know what to do with. “It’s not chaos, it’s not an accident, it’s—”

For a moment, he seems like he might be at a loss for words, and for some reason, this enrages you.

“It’s what, Loki?” you say with more venom than you intend. “Please enlighten me, since you’re such a fucking expert.”

You’re not quite sure what line you’ve crossed, but you think it must be an important one based on how angry he looks.

“You truly are infuriating,” he says. “You nearly get yourself killed and you have the audacity to speak that way to me after I save your life!?”

And before you can say a word, he brings his mouth down on yours in a bruising kiss.

His tongue sweeps past your lips, seeking out yours, demanding and hungry. Your response is reflexive and instinctive, your lips parting, tongue meeting his. You return his kiss, even though you’re still a little mad at him and he’s maybe still a little mad at you. But his mouth loses that hard edge as you kiss him back, his touch turning softer, more tender, but still urgent and wanting.

“Do not scare me like that ever again,” he murmurs against your lips, kissing you in between words, each pause punctuated by the soft caress of his lips, the silky warmth of his tongue. “Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through?”

You are astonished and somewhat perplexed. “I…I didn’t even know that you…that you wanted this—“

“Darling, I have thought of little else.”

His mouth covers yours again and you are drowning in the feeling of him. The cold that has settled in your bones is melting like snow in springtime. You move your hands along his shoulders, tentative at first, then a little braver. You thread your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and smooth it is. He deepens the kiss, his fingertips tracing the curve of your cheekbones. 

It’s dizzingly good and you want more. You need more. You arch against him in a clear invitation, reveling in how perfectly his body fits against yours. He sighs and presses back against you briefly before pulling away.

“You should rest,” he says, his voice slightly strained. “You experienced some very powerful magic—I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

“I won’t,” you say, tugging him back down to you. He allows this for a moment, his hands cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss with toe curling intensity.

And then he draws back.

“You really do need to rest,” he says.

You shake your head. “I need you, Loki.”

His lips and tongue are just as insistent as yours when you pull him back into a kiss. You can feel him growing hard against your thigh and when you wrap your legs around his waist and rock your hips against him, he groans and nips at your lip before withdrawing again.

“Darling,” he says, his voice a little hoarse, like he’s barely holding himself back.

“I can stay on my back,” you say.

“Appealing as that is, you’re rather ignoring my point.”

“And you’re ignoring mine,” you say, rolling your hips again. His eyes close for a moment as he presses back against you, his hand sliding along your thigh. Your hands grip the fabric of his shirt, pulling him back down into a kiss that he returns without protest.

You catch his lower lip between your teeth and he sucks in a deep breath as he grinds his hips against you.

“Please,” you breathe. “I need you so bad.”

He groans as he lowers his head to the column of your throat. “I’m trying to keep you safe and you’re tempting me like this.”

“Touch me and tell me I need to rest more than I need you.”

It’s a bold thing to say and your heart pounds with anticipation as you feel him nip at your collarbone. His hand pauses at your hip, so close to where you need him. You wait a moment and then take his hand in yours and guide it underneath your waistband and between your legs. He lifts his head, gaze snapping to yours and the moment that his fingers graze your slickness, you know that you’ve won.

“Oh, you’re dripping,” he says, his voice dropping and his eyes darkening with lust as his fingers swipe across your clit.

You’re tempted to tell him that you told him so, but this still feels so fragile and tenuous that you settle for a more flattering truth: “Loki, I need you.”

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” He shifts on top of you so that you feel the hard press of his cock against your hip.

“Same thing that you’re doing to me,” you say. “Which is why I need you to fuck me.”

He sighs, but his fingers don’t stop moving. “You really ought to rest.”

“I can stay on my back,” you say. “You can take me really slowly and gently. Think about how good that will feel.”

“Darling,” he says. You can see a flicker of hesitation in his eyes and you know that you’ve almost won. You feel your orgasm starting to coil like a snake in your belly and you moan, rocking your hips with his hand.

“Loki.” You lick your lips. “Don’t you want to feel me come on your cock?”

You know the exact moment he gives in—you see it in his eyes. Less than a second later, he’s sliding one long finger inside of you and curling it just right.

“Not before I finish what I started.” His voice is a low growl.

“Yes,” you breathe, letting your head tip back against the pillow. “God, that feels so good.”

“I can feel you trembling,” he says, his voice rough. “Are you going to come for me already? I’ve barely touched you.”

“I told you: I need you,” you say.

He raises an eyebrow, his eyes darkening in a very attractive way. “You’re not getting pert with me, are you?”

There’s a particular tone to his voice, a sternness that makes you shiver. Something to explore later, perhaps—right now, you need him too badly to play games.

“No, just trying to emphasize that I need you.”

“Are you really that desperate for me? Do you really need me that much? Surely you could touch yourself, surely you don’t need me that badly.”

You know that he’s saying that to amp you up, to tease you. But you are also so desperate to come that the idea of not having him is beyond comprehension.

“I do,” you say, a bit of desperate note making its way into your voice. “I need you, Loki, I need to come for you, need you to fuck me, please don’t make me wait, please, please, please—”

He stops your mouth with a kiss as he eases a second finger inside of you. “I’m going to take care of you, sweet thing,” he says as you gasp at the stretch. 

His fingers are curling inside of you, his thumb working your clit in small, tight circles that are pushing you closer and closer to the edge as a fantastic pressure builds inside of you.

“Oh, that’s it.” His eyes are dark, pupils wide and lust-blown. “I can feel how close you are.” He brings his lips to your ear. “Come for me and then I’ll fuck you properly.”

Your breath hitches as you reach your peak. “Oh god—I—fuck, I’m coming, I’m—”

Your voice cuts out as you come, pure pleasure blooming low in your hips, your back arching against the mattress as Loki works you through it, murmuring soft encouragement as he watches you shake in his arms.

“You’re beautiful when you come undone,” he says, pressing a kiss against your cheek. “Utterly stunning.”

You fumble for the waistband of his pants, your fingers slipping over the fastenings. “I need you,” you say, tugging at the fabric.

His mouth curls into a smile, his eyes dancing with mischief. “Are you quite certain?”

Leather yields to warm skin and you slide your hand into his pants, wrapping your fingers around his cock. He inhales sharply as you stroke him, his eyes turning dark.

“You’re presenting a very compelling argument,” he says.

“Think about how good you’ll feel inside of me,” you say, gently increasing the pressure on his shaft as you move your hand.

“Norns, woman.” But he’s rolling on top of you as he says this and sliding his pants off his hips. He pauses briefly to divest you of your pants and underwear. A shiver works through you during the brief moment when your bare skin is exposed to the chill of the room…and he notices right away, hesitating slightly as his brow furrows in concern.

“Don't you dare stop,” you say. “I don’t care if I get hypothermia and die, I will straight up implode if you don’t fuck me right now.”

He chuckles, pulling more blankets around the two of you as he settles himself between your thighs. “Are you always so demanding?”

“Look, you’ve been teasing me for the last twenty minutes and you’ve been strutting around in those fucking leather pants for a lot longer, so forgive me if I’m a little impatient.”

He pauses above you, his expression deadly serious. “Let's get one thing quite clear, my love: I do not strut.”

There’s a glimmer in his eyes and you smirk back at him. “You totally do.”

He lines up the tip of his cock with your entrance. “I walk with the gravitas and stature appropriate to my station.”

“You strut and I know you strut because it’s extremely distracting.”

His smile is sly. “Tell me more about how I distract you.”

“You make me think about doing this with you.”

The tip of his cock eases into you. “Do I? How often, would you say?”

“All the time.”

He sinks in another inch. “All the time?”

“Mmmhm.”

One more inch. “That does sound terribly distracting.”

“You’re still trying to tease me,” you say and he grins and gives you another inch.

“You wouldn’t want me as much if I didn’t.”

“I’d want you always, no matter what.”

His gaze turns serious and he leans into kiss you, his hands stroking your cheek as he sinks into you fully, all the way to the hilt. You gasp, your walls stretching to accommodate him, your legs wrapping around his waist to hold him even closer. He’s still for a moment, his eyes shut.

He opens them.

“I’ve waited so long to have you,” he murmurs.

“You have me,” you say. “You always have.”

He kisses you deeply as he starts moving, slow as honey, sweetness in every thrust of his hips or touch of his lips. He fills you in a way that you’ve never experienced, his cock bumping up against that tender place inside you, making you gasp and pull him deeper. 

It builds slowly and steadily, the muscles of your cunt tightening as he takes you higher. You shudder as your climax builds.

“That’s it, my love,” he breathes. “That’s it.”

You inhale sharply, your orgasm swelling within you, rising, about to pull you under. You ride that wave, your hips rocking with his. You try and hold on for as long as you can because he feels so good and you don’t want it to end, but eventually, it becomes too much.

You keen and he kisses you. “Come for me, darling. Let me feel you come.”

Your fingernails dig into his shoulders and all your muscles tense and release as you come. Loki sucks in a sharp breath, brow furrowing.

“Fuck.” His pace increases slightly. “You’re divine.”

Less than a second later, he’s also unraveling, his expression of ecstasy particularly beautiful in the flickering firelight. Even in the hazy afterglow of your own pleasure, you can’t help but stare at him, utterly spellbound.

As soon as he catches his breath, he kisses you deeply and slows to a halt, his cock still throbbing inside of you.

“I don’t want to say I told you so—” you start.

“That’s a lie.” His reply is prompt and accompanied by another deep kiss.

You smile against his lips. “Okay, maybe I did want to say I told you so.”

“Better.”

You feel pleasantly loose and sleepy, exhaustion pulling at your eyelids. He seems to notice your fatigue and raises an eyebrow. “Is this the part where I say I told you so?” he asks as he slowly eases out of you.

“Mmm, but it was so worth it,” you say. “So I’m basically right.”

“That’s not how that works,” he says.

“I’m not listening to you,” you say. “I need to recover my strength.”

“Now you’re just being pert.” He shifts to his side and draws you close so he’s spooned up against your back.

“You like it,” you say, barely stifling a yawn.

“Mmm, I do,” he says, drawing the pile of blankets back over you both. “Are you warm enough?”

“Yeah, but don’t go anywhere.”

You feel him smile as he presses a kiss against the back of your neck. “I don’t intend to.”

“Good.”

You both fall asleep like this, wrapped around each other, warm and safe from the storm outside.