#this is all so much better than anything we could've imagined

[wimbledon2008]

so i just finished the captive prince series about a week ago and am rereading it now. just finished the hello lover scene and honestly im still so confused over what's going on in laurent's head lmao like??

was he previously compartmentalizing his resentment so well that real feelings developed, but now he finally has a chance to truly let his anger out, he's locking down the positive feelings?

was he being truthful about manipulating damen the whole time (highly unlikely to me)? or was the cruelty in and of itself a play, either to push damen away despite not actually wanting to, or some other convoluted reason? bc damen really would have done anything he asked, trying to outmaneuver him like that was unnecessary.

my first theory feels the most right to me, and he just needed more time to process and purge his desire for revenge but idk im a taurus and very akielon coded. i love laurent but i do not understand that man lol

okay, disclaimer, i haven't read the books in quite some time so this probably isn't the fullest or deepest analysis. i welcome any additions or corrections from those who are better at meta than me <3

so the hello lover scene is incredibly complex and nuanced, a standard of pacat's writing that makes his works so infinitely re-readable. based on my personal understanding of the scene, there are a few key things that help to explain why laurent behaves the way he does in the tent scene:

1. laurent needs damen and the akielons to win against his uncle, which he very much wants to do. charcy didn't go how he'd originally planned, and he knows damen is pissed about it and probably thinks the worst of laurent right now - that he intentionally abandoned the akielons at charcy for his own purposes. so laurent is being manipulative; he is trying to outmaneuver damen. because what damen says is true: laurent has no allies, no friends, he's ruined his reputation by aligning himself with akielos, etc. we as the readers know that damen cares deeply for laurent and wouldn't just abandon him, and if laurent simply explained what happened and asked damen to help him, damen wouldn't hesitate to stay at his side. but laurent doesn't think damen has any reason to trust him, so laurent can't trust damen either. so instead of being honest, he chooses to be cold-blooded, to assert control over the situation and force damen's hand to ensure that the alliance he worked so hard to establish stays intact. he could've just asked, but this is laurent, and there are other factors at play, such as the fact that

2. laurent is already in love with damen by the tent scene, or at least most of the way there. but laurent can no longer pretend damen is anyone other than the person who killed his brother. damen walks into that tent as prince damianos, in full akielon regalia, covered in blood, with a sword. laurent has been doing some aggressive compartmentalizing, especially in order to have allowed himself to sleep with damen. who killed his brother, which was the inciting incident that made laurent's life a living hell. laurent has not forgiven damen for auguste, and he's having to really confront that hatred and anger for maybe the first time since the first book. and laurent is also punishing himself for caring for and sleeping with damen, his brother's killer. can you even imagine? it's better not to. laurent probably hates himself as much as he hates damianos in that moment. so he shoves all those glimmering, positive feelings down because he wants to hurt damen, and himself too. and none of this is particularly rational because

3. laurent is very upset at the beginning of king's rising. this is an understatement. he's still reeling from nicaise's death, which he blames himself for, he's losing damen, the only person he trusted, he was recently stabbed, and everything is spiraling out of his tightly held control. and when laurent is upset he's cruel. he's not at his best in the tent scene. he's clinging to his own self-preservation, and he's making it up as he goes along because whatever his original plan was got blown to hell, which is clear because he's saying shit that doesn't even make sense. see, e.g., this post about him allegedly enduring damen's "fumbling attentions" to win a battle he didn't even know about at the time. while laurent is being cold and ruthless to secure his position as best he can (see no. 1), he's also acting from a place of emotion instead of strict rationality, which is how he typically operates, and how he prefers to act. he's on the defensive, he's deeply confused and unable to cope with all of his conflicting feelings about damen, and he's lashing out - protecting himself before damen can hurt him first. and then damen literally sticks his thumb in his stab wound. basically: our boy laurent's going through it in a major way.

going back and re-reading your message i realize i've essentially just reiterated everything you initially said but with a lot of extra words. so i guess the long and short of it is: you're right. honestly there are so many ways to interpret the tent scene and everything else laurent says and does, which is what makes him so fascinating! so thanks for giving me the opportunity to dive back into his psyche for a little while <3

[ingravinoveritas]

How are you doing after all the lovely new GO/David and Michael content we got today? I'm just so happy they're back together again, and that we are getting so close to season 2!!!

Hi, Anons! Oh my goodness, what a day it's been. Anon #1, you've asked how I'm doing, and the truth be told, I'm genuinely emotional. I don't think I truly realized how much I missed seeing Michael and David together until we finally got them in the same interview today, and those photo call pictures.

The thing is, it's not as if we haven't seen them at all over the last year, as both Michael and David have been busy with work and different projects. They've both done interviews and appearances on their own, but there's just something that comes into being when they are together that's missing when they're by themselves. This third thing between them, that is so palpable it's almost visible. We know Michael and David are closer now than ever, but it's as if the chemistry between them has grown and transformed into something much, much deeper.

To your point, Anon #2, I absolutely did notice that Michael and David nearly held hands at the beginning. I think it was Michael who attempted first, then David, before they settled on linking arms:

What gets me about this--what got me earlier when I watched it and still does now--is how instinctive and natural it was for them to reach for each other's hands. I had a feeling prior to this, but it seems almost certain that they have held hands before. Neither one of them hesitated for a second, except for seemingly having to stop themselves from holding hands and linking arms instead. The contrast becomes even more stark when you see the video of Nicole Kidman and Zoe Saldana walking onto the set in a similar manner--it's incredibly awkward, and there is none of the warmth or chemistry that Michael and David have in abundance.

The other part that stood out to me about this woefully short and inadequate interview was how toned down Michael and David both were. This is particularly noticeable when Michael is describing Good Omens and refers to David/Crowley as "my best buddy":

There is a lot happening here, not the least of which is both of them looking completely disgusted as Michael says that (the "meh" head nod from David, and then Michael sucking his cheeks in and looking like he's choking on his own bile). I think both of them were/are under specific instructions not to talk about the second season or share anything that could be construed as "spoilers" (including but not limited to The Thing, which you know they were both dying to talk about), so that is certainly a large part of why this went the way it did.

But there does seem to be more going on beneath the surface. We saw David in the photo call earlier today wearing a "Leave Trans Kids Alone" t-shirt under his jacket. Yet here on the One Show, he is no longer wearing the shirt. It doesn't seem farfetched to guess that the BBC asked him to change out of the shirt, and Michael--not wanting David to stand out for the wrong reasons or get flak for it--changed his own clothes in solidarity.

The strangeness is further compounded by something that was pointed out to me by several folks via DM, which is that in the pictures from the photo call, David is visibly not wearing his wedding ring:

As we know, David always wears his wedding ring, which makes its absence even more conspicuous. Could he have simply forgotten it on the nightstand in Michael's hotel room? Sure. But what makes things even weirder is that he is indeed wearing the ring on The One Show. So, to recap: David is not wearing his wedding ring when he has the trans pride t-shirt on in the photo call, but he is wearing it when he doesn't have the trans pride t-shirt on on television.

What this leads me to think is that someone--the BBC? Amazon? PR?--is making some specific (homophobic) marketing choices, which in this case means trying to sell the show to a mainstream (a.k.a., straight) audience, and therefore told Michael and David both to tone down the gayness (as if that's even humanly fucking possible for either of them) overall, but especially when talking about the characters/plot.

Taking all of this into account, what happened later in the interview is even more glorious, which is Michael giving the biggest "fuck you" to all of the above (BBC/Amazon/PR) by doing what he does best: Being Michael--because when can he not?--and (again) calling David's hips "slinky," followed by getting in a good, long, loving, sexy stare:

All of this leads me to your comments, Anon #3. I know you had sent this prior to now, but I wanted to include your Ask here because I think it speaks to exactly what we saw today. I've thought about what you've mentioned so many times, because that's exactly what I think Michael and David do and are for each other--a safe place, and they have truly helped each other through some of the hardest times in their lives.

Thinking about David's anxiety, I find that especially poignant given today's events, and how vocal David has become in recent months. I think he deliberately wore that trans rights shirt and that rainbow pin because he knew how much reach they would get...but at the same time, I am sure he knew the risk of doing so, and that it would set him up as a target.

It's very easy to imagine David feeling that anxiety before the photo call today, knowing what he was going to do, and Michael calming him--maybe even holding him in his arms if they had some time alone this morning. And when they came out onto the set of The One Show, you could see Michael nearly bursting with pride and love as they walked together. Even when they got flustered nearly holding hands, as soon as they linked arms, they both became so calm. It felt as though Michael and David were a united front--on their side--and while David flashed a big smile to the camera, Michael could not have given two shits about it, because he was holding onto David and never letting go.

Michael couldn't say the things he wanted to today, but that's not what today was about. It was about him stepping back and giving David room to be in the spotlight and to shine. Soothing David's anxiety and encouraging him to be vocal the way Michael has been for the past four years. He's supporting the man he loves, and it is so beautiful to see.

So yes, those are my thoughts on the new GO and Michael/David content from today. I'm truly hoping that Michael and David have an opportunity to do an interview where they can be totally unleashed and say exactly what it is that's on their minds. But I'm still so glad to see how much relief and joy it brings them to be back together again, and I hope they'll get to do it a lot more in the weeks ahead. Fingers crossed...

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Sirius Black was the best adult in Harry's life and I'm forever salty that we didn't get to see more of him

So, I love Sirius Black. He's a complex and interesting character that I love dearly. He's handsome, smart, brave, not as reckless as some fanon make him out to be, and above all else, he tried his best to be a good godfather to Harry.

I truly believe Sirius could've been an amazing father figure (more than he already was) to Harry if given the proper chance. And he's a much better parent to Harry than Arthur and Molly Weasley.

Here are some quotes along with my ramblings to prove it.

So, what I'm going to cover here are some quotes from Sirius and Harry that show their dynamic and how much Sirius cared and tried to be there for Harry. Also, I think Molyl and Hermione are wrong about Sirius seeing Harry as a James replacement.

“He came back to the country just because my scar twinged. He’ll probably come bursting right into the castle if I tell him someone’s entered me in the Triwizard Tournament —”

(GoF, page 290)

Harry wrote to Sirius at the beginning of GoF about his dream with Voldemort and his scar's reaction to it. Sirius left everything immediately to return to Britain — a place where he is hunted down and is a wanted man. All because he wants to be close to Harry, so he can spring up to protect him if the need arises.

Harry is correct in his assessment here.

“Poor old Snuffles,” said Ron, breathing deeply. “He must really like you, Harry. . . . Imagine having to live off rats.”

(GoF, page 534)

Ron is absolutely right. Sirius loves Harry more than pretty much anything. He would and does go incredibly far for Harry. I don't think Molly and Hermione are right about how Sirius sees Harry as James. He just doesn't.

He doesn't treat Harry as an equal to him, but as someone he needs to protect. Someone he is responsible to protect.

He stays around Hogwarts, eating rats in GoF so he can better protect Harry. He wouldn't have done the same with James because he treated James as an equal, not as someone he needed to protect.

“It’s not my fault you haven’t been told what the Order’s doing,” said Sirius calmly. “That’s your parents’ decision. Harry, on the other hand —” “It’s not down to you to decide what’s good for Harry!” said Mrs. Weasley sharply. Her normally kindly face looked dangerous. “You haven’t forgotten what Dumbledore said, I suppose?” “Which bit?” Sirius asked politely, but with an air as though readying himself for a fight. “The bit about not telling Harry more than he needs to know,” said Mrs. Weasley, placing a heavy emphasis on the last three words. Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius. “I don’t intend to tell him more than he needs to know, Molly,” said Sirius. “But as he was the one who saw Voldemort come back” (again, there was a collective shudder around the table at the name), “he has more right than most to —” “He’s not a member of the Order of the Phoenix!” said Mrs. Weasley. “He’s only fifteen and —” “— and he’s dealt with as much as most in the Order,” said Sirius, “and more than some —” “No one’s denying what he’s done!” said Mrs. Weasley, her voice rising, her fists trembling on the arms of her chair. “But he’s still —” “He’s not a child!” said Sirius impatiently. “He’s not an adult either!” said Mrs. Weasley, the color rising in her cheeks. “He’s not James, Sirius!” “I’m perfectly clear who he is, thanks, Molly,” said Sirius coldly. “I’m not sure you are!” said Mrs. Weasley. “Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it’s as though you think you’ve got your best friend back!” “What’s wrong with that?” said Harry. “What’s wrong, Harry, is that you are not your father, however much you might look like him!” said Mrs. Weasley, her eyes still boring into Sirius. “You are still at school and adults responsible for you should not forget it!” “Meaning I’m an irresponsible godfather?” demanded Sirius, his voice rising. “Meaning you’ve been known to act rashly, Sirius, which is why Dumbledore keeps reminding you to stay at home and —” “We’ll leave my instructions from Dumbledore out of this, if you please!” said Sirius loudly.

(OotP, page 88-89)

This above quote is a long one, but I love it. I mean, this shows a big contrast between Sirius' approach to parenting and Molly's. Sirius, while not seeing Harry as his equal, does see Harry as a capable wizard who deserves to know the full picture. Sirius knows Harry would be in more danger when ignorant and wants him as safe as possible. He thinks Harry deserves to know things that pertain to him, and I have to agree with him here. Keeping Harry in the dark is what eventually cost Sirius his life.

Molly, on the other hand, is intent on keeping Harry, Hermione, and her kids ignorant. She has the same intention as Sirius: to keep them safe. But she tries to keep them safe emotionally, even when this ignorance can and does place them in physical harm's way.

And Sirius is right. Harry is capable. And a 15-year-old shouldn't be treated the same as an 11-year-old child. And let's be real, Harry was never a regular child with how he grew up, and I think Sirius sees his maturity and treats him accordingly. Sirius actually gave Harry advice to not approach danger in GOF and Harry listened to him because Sirius treated him with respect, which works best with Harry who never really had parental figures.

“I don’t know,” said Sirius slowly, “I just don’t know . . . Karkaroff doesn’t strike me as the type who’d go back to Voldemort unless he knew Voldemort was powerful enough to protect him. But whoever put your name in that goblet did it for a reason, and I can’t help thinking the tournament would be a very good way to attack you and make it look like an accident.”

(GoF, page 334)

This is an expert from the Fireplace conversation Haryr had with Sirius before the first task. Sirius shares his theories with Harry because he needs him to know who to watch out for. Because everything he does is to keep Harry safe. And this is the same approach Sirius wishes he could take with Harry in OOTP. Because he knows it works. Keeping Harry informed means that if he does put himself in danger, at least he would inform Sirius about it; Which would allow Sirius to protect him.

I'm not copying all of them, but Sirius' letters to Harry throughout GOF are so caring and sweet. Harry deserved to have more of his godfather in his life:

Nice try, Harry. I'm back in the country and well hidden. I want you to keep me posted on everything that's going on at Hogwarts. Don't use Hedwig, keep changing owls, and don't worry about me, just watch out for yourself. Don't forget what I said about your scar. Sirius

(Gof, page 240)

This treatment encourages Harry to actually share everything with him and ask him for advice. Something he doesn't do with Dumbledore ever. (Harry actually doesn't like or trust Dumbledore all that much until book 6, it's usually Hermione who trusts Dumbledore fully)

“Sirius — how’re you doing?” ... “Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously.

(GoF, page 331)

Sirius again, shows his responsibility towards Harry's well-being over his own (both here and in the above letter).

Sirius is the only adult who actually talks to Harry about the Dursleys with sympathy:

“But if they do expel me,” said Harry, quietly, “can I come back here and live with you?” Sirius smiled sadly. “We’ll see.” “I’d feel a lot better about the hearing if I knew I didn’t have to go back to the Dursleys,” Harry pressed him. “They must be bad if you prefer this place,” said Sirius gloomily.

(OotP, page 116)

We know Sirius would love nothing more than for Harry to stay with him. He's lonely and bored at Grimmauld and would love to have Harry there. But at the same time, he doesn't want Harry expelled from Hogwarts and is trying not to be hopeful for it.

Sirius understands the Dursleys are awful, he just know the full scope, but it's more of a reaction than we get from most adults in this series. To me, it looks like Sirius is annoyed by how limited he is in helping Harry. He can't really do much about the Dursleys or their status as Harry's guardians.

“So you want me to say I’m not going to take part in the defense group?” he muttered finally. “Me? Certainly not!” said Sirius, looking surprised. “I think it’s an excellent idea!” “You do?” said Harry, his heart lifting. “Of course I do!” said Sirius. “D’you think your father and I would’ve lain down and taken orders from an old hag like Umbridge?” “But — last term all you did was tell me to be careful and not take risks —” “Last year all the evidence was that someone inside Hogwarts was trying to kill you, Harry!” said Sirius impatiently. “This year we know that there’s someone outside Hogwarts who’d like to kill us all, so I think learning to defend yourselves properly is a very good idea!” “And if we do get expelled?” Hermione asked, a quizzical look on her face. “Hermione, this whole thing was your idea!” said Harry, staring at her. “I know it was. . . . I just wondered what Sirius thought,” she said, shrugging. “Well, better expelled and able to defend yourselves than sitting safely in school without a clue,” said Sirius.

(OotP, page 371)

I love this scene as well. Sirius cares for Harry's safety first and foremost. Harry being safe is his top priority at every given point. And he's reasonable and logical and treats Harry like someone to protect, not like a friend.

Like, Harry when he has a problem and needs advice throughout books 4 and 5, he calls Sirius. He's Harry's go-to parental figure for advice, and Sirius takes his rule seriously. He gives the advice he honestly thinks is best and ensures Harry's safety and continued survival to the best of his ability.

“It matters because we don’t want to draw attention to the fact that Harry is having visions of things that are happening hundreds of miles away!” said Sirius angrily. “Have you any idea what the Ministry would make of that information?” Fred and George looked as though they could not care less what the Ministry made of anything. Ron was still white-faced and silent. Ginny said, “Somebody else could have told us. . . . We could have heard it somewhere other than Harry. . . .”

(OotP, pages 476-477)

Again, Harry's safety is Sirius' first priority above everyone else. Harry's happiness and privacy also take precedence over most other things. He doesn't want Harry under even more scrutiny from the ministry and the Wizarding World and protecting him from that is just as important to him.

To me, it feels like people who say he treats Harry like a James replacement didn't read the books....

“It must have been the aftermath of the vision, that’s all,” said Sirius. “You were still thinking of the dream or whatever it was and —” “It wasn’t that,” said Harry, shaking his head. “It was like something rose up inside me, like there’s a snake inside me —” “You need to sleep,” said Sirius firmly. “You’re going to have breakfast and then go upstairs to bed, and then you can go and see Arthur after lunch with the others. You’re in shock, Harry; you’re blaming yourself for something you only witnessed, and it’s lucky you did witness it or Arthur might have died. Just stop worrying. . . .” He clapped Harry on the shoulder and left the pantry, leaving Harry standing alone in the dark.

(OotP, pages 480-481)

And I love this too. How he tries to comfort Harry and make everything easier for him. When the rest of the Order were gossiping about how dangerous his connection to Voldemort is, Sirius is honestly trying to get Harry to worry about it less.

He might be lying here, but he is right about sending Harry to sleep after a sleepless night like they had. And he is right about Harry being in shock and needing the rest. I just, really like how much Sirius cares. Harry just doesn't have other adults in his life who care for him like Sirius does.

But some part of him realized, even as he fought to break free from Lupin, that Sirius had never kept him waiting before. . . . Sirius had risked everything, always, to see Harry, to help him. . . . If Sirius was not reappearing out of that archway when Harry was yelling for him as though his life depended on it, the only possible explanation was that he could not come back. . . . That he really was . . .

(OotP, page 808)

This. Scene. Just kills me.

Like, Harry understands how much Sirius cares about him, and how Sirius always puts him first. He knows the only way Sirius won't drop everything to come and when Harry calls for him is if he can't.

Because Sirius escaped Azkaban when he realized Harry might be in danger from Peter, not for his own safety, but for Harry’s. Sirius dropped everything and moved to live in a cave and eat rats when Harry's scar hurt. He stuck around Hogwarts and Hogsmead during the Triwizard Tournament, when it was crawling with ministry officials because Harry might need him. He was willing to do so much for Harry. And Harry knew this.

I think, given time, they could've had an amazing dynamic, and I wish we had more of Sirius and his care for Harry. That we saw more of his approach to parenting Harry.

[mikareo]

౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆ midnight love ⠀ ꒰ . . geto suguru x gn reader ꒱ . . . word count; 0.7k

⊹ ⠀⠀ heartbreak is a cycle. over, and over, and over again.

contains; geto suguru x gn reader, angst, geto dumped you and you can't get over it, mentions abandonment and attachment issues, lots of reader insecurities, womp womp author's note; hey ! XD

"you really can't be calling me at this hour anymore." suguru's voice is faint. he's likely just woken up from a deep slumber, probably dreaming of something far more interesting and attractive than you are, but that isn't a dream that you'd like to picture. he did this to you.

sometimes, he needs to see what your nightmares look like.

"i'm sorry, it's just that i've been thinking about everything again." clearing your throat, you can't help but notice that your voice can't stop shaking. get a grip of yourself. you're embarrassing. "i feel like we made a mistake. it's not crazy to try things again; we know what went wrong so let's just fix it this time. right? we can be even better this time around."

you know the hopefulness slipping from your tongue is something that suguru has grown to hate. he hates the guilt that it makes him feel. he hates the reminders of a time where he was so madly in love with you that he couldn't imagine sleeping through one of your sporadic phone calls in the middle of the night. he hates how it reminds him how hard you sobbed when he said those three little words. not 'i love you'...but 'let's break up'.

he hates that it makes him regret things.

so instead, he forces you to bottle it all up.

"i'm not interested anymore, i've told you that." the sound of your poorly mended heart shattering once more is far too familiar. "seriously, we crashed and burned so let's just leave it at that."

this is the third time he's said these words. the first being an hour after he dumped you over the phone, when you called him back amidst uncontrollable sobs and he didn't seem to care all that much. the second being a month after what would've been your first anniversary together, to which he was careless with your heart as you poured it out to him on his doorstep. now, the third, where it's been a whole three months since your untimely break up and your sleep has been lost to you for yet another night.

...and he still doesn't care.

he doesn't care about you.

he doesn't care at all.

why doesn't he care?

"suguru, please." it's pathetic to beg, but what else can you do? "i love you. i want to be with you and i'm willing to do anything to make it work. c'mon, work with me, here." just say yes. just say yes and maybe you'll smile again.

he takes a deep breath. you can count down the seconds until he exhales.

three.

you envision a scenario where he bolts from his bed, frantically grabs his jacket, and drives straight to your house. his hand hovers over the front door, ready to knock, when you fling it open and then fling yourself into his arms. suguru laughs at your eagerness, gently gripping your face beneath your jaw and kissing you tenderly. god, it's been so long since you felt his kisses. you could cry from the overwhelming happiness in your heart. the overwhelming joy that he never fails to make you feel when he's truly and completely in love with you, too.

two.

you recall one of your favorite dreams, one just a few nights ago, where suguru had never broken up with you in the first place. in fact, he thinks the mere thought is comically funny. he'd never ends things. you're the best thing that's ever happened to him and he never fails to tell you that at every hour of the day. he's the perfect boyfriend. he's the ideal husband. he's the man that you've been wishing for for your entire life...but he really is just that. he's a dream.

one.

"i don't love you anymore."

oh...

oh.

you wish this were a scenario. you wish you were sleeping. you wish he could've said anything other than those awful words, but this is reality. dreams don't reflect reality. dreams aren't real. his love for you isn't real. he doesn't love you. he doesn't want you. he doesn't need you. give up. give up. stop making a fool of yourself.

"but i love you."

pathetic.

you're pathetic.

the sigh he exhales is pitiful.

he's so obviously aware of how clingy you've become in your lonesome life that he's not even surprised by your behavior. he's not surprised by your confession. it's almost as if he expected it. he knows your flaws. he knows your stance on abandonment...on attachment...on absence. he knows you can't possibly function in a world without him...

...and he hangs up.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀thank you for reading! reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[theostrophywife]

kiss with a fist | chapter ten.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: the way i loved you - taylor swift.

author's note: get in, besties. we're crawling out of the trenches. i hope ya'll aren't too mad at me after this.

The fallout from your fight with Theo wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Mostly because you spent the entire weekend holed up in your dorm and avoiding the nuclear aftermath. It was a coward’s approach, but you were content to let sleeping dogs lie. You didn’t know if you could bear facing the others. 

The newfound friendships you had formed with the Slytherins were all sure to implode given the circumstances. Theo was one of their oldest friends and they were loyal to their own. Once Theo told them what had gone down between you, they would undoubtedly take his side. You would've. The worst part was, you couldn't even blame them for it. 

The argument with Theo hurt. Because you knew each other so well, he knew exactly what to say to push your buttons. You were so, so angry in the moment, but the more that time passed, you could see that you were both in the wrong. Yes, Theo shouldn't have acted like an emotionally constipated twat, but you also could've approached the situation better. Instead, the two of you crashed and burned, imploding whatever precarious thing you had built up over the past few months. You were afraid that your newfound friendships with the others would become collateral damage.

The possibility of losing all of them filled you with unbearable sadness. You cried in bed until you were sure that you couldn’t possibly have anything left in you and then you cried some more. Luna was obviously very concerned on your behalf. She had never seen you cry, so you could only imagine how incredibly jarring it was for her to witness you sob for three days straight.

To her credit, Luna never judged you for any of it. She just let you feel the range of emotions you’ve been holding back for months, often rubbing your back and fixing you a soothing cup of tea. Every now and then she’d ask if you’d like to come to the Great Hall for a meal, but you declined each time. You wanted to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. 

When Monday crept around and hiding in your dorm was no longer an option, you carefully timed your arrival and departure to class so that you wouldn’t run into any of them. Especially not Theo. 

The plan was working well and you successfully avoided everyone until Wednesday afternoon. You had just gotten out of History of Magic when Mattheo and Enzo cornered you. They were both out of breath and sweaty, presumably from quidditch practice. 

“Y/N!” Enzo called from across the hall. You froze and rounded the corner, hoping to lose them in the crowd. 

“I know you see us, Y/N!” Mattheo called after you.

Unfortunately, they were much faster and caught up to you easily. You clutched your books in your arms like a safety blanket. “I have to go to class.” 

“No, you don’t,” Enzo said. “History of Magic is your last class of the day. We used to study after, remember? Before you decided to ditch us.” 

“I’m not ditching anyone,” you countered defensively. 

“Is that why we haven’t seen you for four days?” Mattheo pondered. “You don’t eat meals with us. You don’t attend game nights. You don’t let us walk you to class. Sounds like a classic ditching to me, Y/N.”

“Look, it’s just…complicated right now, okay.” You sighed, adjusting the strap of your satchel. “With everything that happened with Theo, I thought it would be best to keep my distance.” 

“Is that why he’s been moodier than usual?” Enzo asked. “You two had a fight?”

“He didn’t tell you?” 

Mattheo shook his head. “He nearly took my head off at practice, but when I tried to ask what the bloody hell was up his arse, the git just stormed off. I should’ve known it was because of you.” 

You flinched. Enzo elbowed Mattheo in the ribs, which caused the latter to grumble dramatically. “What Mattheo meant to say is that ever since you stopped coming around, Theo’s been in a proper foul mood.” Enzo placed a hand on your shoulder. “What exactly happened between the two of you?” 

The tears spilled out before you could stop them. You had done your best to keep it together during classes and club meetings and even prefect duties, but that one simple question seemed to push you over the edge. What happened between you and Theo? Your friendship, rivalry, flirtation, whatever had been forming these past few months had blown up in your face and you had been the one to light the match. 

Before you knew what was happening, Enzo crushed you into a hug. “It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to tell us.”

“It’s bad, Enz. I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.” 

To your surprise, Mattheo rubbed your back despite the mild discomfort on his face from seeing you cry. “Whatever it is, I’m sure you and Theo can fix it. You two are crazy about each other.” 

“You don’t understand, Mattheo. We said some really awful things to each other. I think—I think I really hurt him. I figured he would have told you all by now and that it would mean the end of my friendship with everyone.” 

“No way,” Mattheo countered. “You’re only just admitting that we’re friends. I’m not letting all that hard work go to waste.” 

You chuckled, wiping a tear away with the back of your hand. Enzo grinned, pinching your cheek. “There’s that smile. Mattheo’s right. We wouldn’t drop you just because you and Theo are fighting.” 

“The fight was my fault,” you sniffled. “I took it too far and I said some things that I really, really regret. I would understand if you took his side.” 

“We’re not taking sides,” Enzo assured you. “You’re both our friends. We care about you equally.”

“But you’ve known Theo your whole lives.” 

“Exactly,” Mattheo said with a nod. “We know how frustrating he can be sometimes. Even with us, Theo’s not exactly the most open person in the world. But something changed when you started becoming closer. You changed him, Y/N.”

“We all felt it,” Enzo added. “He started opening up more. Even talked about his mum and he never talks about his mum. I suspect you had something to do with that.” You felt the tears well up again. “My point is, it would be silly to let one little fight ruin a friendship. We’re definitely not letting it ruin ours. 

Mattheo draped a shoulder over you. “You’re one of us now, Y/N. There’s no getting rid of us.” 

Your heart felt like it might burst as you pulled the two boys into a group hug. Enzo chuckled as you practically crushed him and Mattheo ruffled your hair, messing up the neat braid you had arranged it in. 

“If either one of you tell anyone about this, I’ll slip a whiz-bang underneath your pillows.”

"There's the Y/N we know and love," Mattheo said with a grin. "Now come on, you're coming to dinner with us."

"We're not taking no for an answer either," Enzo stated when he saw the hesitation on your face.

You chuckled. "It's Wednesday," you recalled, training your suspicion towards Mattheo. "You just want me to come to dinner so I can stop Malfoy from taking the last red velvet cupcake, don't you?"

Mattheo huffed in indignation. "Can't I be a good friend and secure my sweets at the same time?"

"You're officially demoted to acquaintance, Riddle."

He gasped dramatically. "You take that back, Y/N!"

The knot in your stomach eased as the three of you made your way over to the Great Hall. The reconciliation didn't fully rid you of the guilt and anxiety, but at least it was a start.

"Well, well, well," Draco drawled as he raised a pale brow at you. "Look who decided to join us."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Don't mind him. He's just upset you haven't been around to help touch up his roots."

"I'll have you know I'm a natural blonde, Zabini!"

"Merlin, all that bleach has truly seeped into your head," you quipped back.

The boys smiled as you took your seat. You appreciated how easy it was to slip back into things. They seemed to know that silly banter and arguments over cupcakes were exactly what you needed. You knew that they had to be at least a little bit curious about your situation with Theo, but they didn't pry. You would tell them when you were ready.

For now, it was just nice to sit and eat dinner with your friends.

After reconciling with Draco and Blaise in the Great Hall over dinner, you were at least comforted by the fact that none of the Slytherins hated you. With the exception of Theo and probably Pansy as well. Out of the entire group, she was probably the one that you were scared to face the most. You had made an entire deal out of threatening her not to hurt Luna and then turned around and did the same exact thing to one of her closest friends instead. 

She had to be beyond angry. You put off speaking with her until the last possible second. As you walked back to your dorm that Friday night, you were nearly shaking with anticipation. You knew that Pansy would be studying with Luna before heading off on their weekly date night. 

You winced as you opened the door. As expected, Luna and Pansy were sprawled out on the rug, surrounded by parchment and ink. 

“Hi, Y/N,” greeted Luna. 

“Hi, Loons,” you said, fidgeting by the door. You had never felt more uncomfortable than when Pansy turned over to look at you. “Hi…Pansy.” 

“Y/N,” she said simply. Her glossy bob curved perfectly underneath her cheekbone as she turned towards you. “We’re finishing up here so you’ll have the room to yourself.” 

You swallowed thickly. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. If you don’t mind.” 

Luna closed her book. “Would you like a moment alone, Y/N?” 

“No,” you said a bit quickly. “Stay, Loons. I could use the emotional support.” 

Your friend smiled and shot a pleading look at her girlfriend. Pansy conceded with a nod. “Are you going to finally tell me what the hell’s going on between you and Theo?” 

You sighed, sitting cross legged on the rug between them. “We had a fight.” 

“I gathered as much. Theo said something stupid, didn’t he? He always does when he gets scared of his own emotions.”

“We both said really stupid things to each other. I…think I took it too far though. I hit him where it hurts. Used his own words against him. I really hurt him, Pansy.” You averted your gaze, picking at the rug beneath you. “That’s why I’ve been skipping meals and avoiding everyone. Especially you. I know how much you care about the boys, and I really fucked it up with Theo. I understand if you’re mad at me, but I just want you to know that I really regret it.” 

The Slytherin girl appraised you for a moment. You had never been one to shy away from scrutiny, but you felt incredibly small as Pansy looked you over. You deserved whatever condemnation and vitriol she wanted to throw your way. You braced yourself for the worst as you met her gaze, but all you found was hurt in Pansy's expression.

“I’m not mad at you because you got into a fight with Theo,” Pansy said. “That’s his and your business to sort out. I’m mad because you just pulled away from all of us without saying anything. You assumed we’d drop you, so you did it first."

“And it was really stupid of me, but I know how loyal you are to each other and I hurt one of you. I didn’t know how to face everyone.” 

“You’re one of us too, Y/N,” Pansy declared. You felt your eyes brimming with tears as Luna squeezed your hand. “Not because you’re my girlfriend’s best friend, but because you’ve become my friend too. It hurt that you pushed us all away.” 

“I’m so sorry, Pans.” 

She sighed and awkwardly patted your back. Clearly displays of emotion were a completely foreign concept to the two of you. Luckily, Luna more than made up for the uncertainty. She nudged Pansy gently.

“It’s alright, Y/N. I get it, truly. If there’s anything Slytherins understand, it’s the sin of pride. We’re all quite good at hiding behind our cozy little walls of self preservation, as Lu likes to say. That’s exactly what Theo’s doing now.” 

“How is he?” you asked hoarsely. 

Not being able to see or speak to Theo this week had been hell. It felt like a part of you was missing. Like you were trying to function without a vital organ. As terrified as you were to admit it, Theo had become as essential as breathing.

Somewhere between your late night talks at the Black Lake, your childish arguments about pumpkin flavored creamers in the Great Hall, and sneaking him into Ravenclaw Tower to watch the stars in the common room, Theo's presence had become so ingrained in your life that its sudden absence felt like losing a limb. You didn't just miss him. You felt entirely lost without him.

“I won’t sugarcoat it. Theo’s not well. He’s moody and cranky and snaps at the smallest things.” You winced. “It’s not entirely your fault. I pushed him to tell you. Hell, we all did. I think we might’ve overwhelmed him.” 

“Tell me what?” 

Pansy smiled sadly. “I think you know.” 

“I don’t.” 

She sighed. “You two are so alike. Ignoring things that are right in front of you. Stubborn as hell, too. It’s bloody frustrating.” 

“Sounds like someone I know,” Luna added softly.

Pansy chuckled. “Point taken, Lu.” The two of them smiled softly at each other, which made you grin a little. They were so obviously smitten and you were happy for both of your friends. 

It made your heart ache all over again. You never knew how much you wanted that. That closeness, that intimacy. And all it took was a stupid, idiotic fight to realize that you already had it all along.

“When we came back from Hogsmeade, I took Theo aside and asked him about the two of you. Anyone with an ounce of common sense could tell that he's head over heels for you, but he was being an absolute wanker and stalling so I thought I’d give him a push.” Pansy crossed her legs, looking troubled. “I told him that he couldn’t keep ignoring his feelings, which is classic Theodore behavior. After some convincing, he said that he would tell you the following night.”

“The night of the slug club dinner.” 

Pansy nodded. “Theo left the common room with a bouquet of wisterias. The boys gave him so much shit for it, but he walked out with a smile.” 

A bouquet of wisterias. Like the one you’d seen in the bin outside of Ravenclaw Tower. You had plucked a flower from it and pressed it into one of your journals. 

“I didn’t see him that night.” 

“I think he might’ve gotten scared and abandoned the plan altogether,” Pansy confirmed. “I figured this week was just Theo’s way of coping. He has a bad habit of running away from things when they get too real.” 

“We have that in common.” 

“Trust me, we noticed.” 

Luna nudged Pansy with her elbow. You covered your face with your hands and sighed in frustration. “What do I do now, Pans? How do I fix this?”

“I promised not to meddle,” Pansy started. You nodded, knowing that there were boundaries that you couldn’t ask her to cross. “But if I happen to accidentally leave the passcode to the Slytherin dorms as well as the proper spells to get past Theo’s door laying around, then I can’t be blamed if someone comes across it. After all, it’s not like I’d purposely do anything to reconcile two blubbering idiots who are so obviously miserable without each other."

She scribbled furiously on a piece of parchment and slid the page over to you. Her gaze softened. “Look, Y/N. I’ve been friends with Theo for a long, long time. He has a hard time letting people in and you did it so easily that I think it terrified him. As hard as it may be, you’re going to have to tell him how you feel. You can’t dance around it anymore. He deserves more than that. You deserve more than that.”

You nodded, taking her words to heart. “Thank you, Pansy. To truly show my appreciation, I won’t make you hug me.” 

Her mouth quirked. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”

Luna beamed. She pulled you in for a hug and squeezed extra tight. “Good luck, Y/N. Remember what I said. Lead with your heart, not with your head.”

Lead with your heart, not with your head.

Your best friend’s words echoed over and over in your head as you paced across Theo’s dorm. Thanks to Pansy’s thorough instructions, you managed to sneak through the dungeons and into his room without any problems. Sneaking in had been a piece of cake, but forcing yourself to stay was another story. 

Logically, you knew that only fifteen minutes had passed since your crime of breaking and entering, but it felt like an eternity. Your palms were sweaty, your head was spinning, and your stomach was twisted into knots. You were bloody nervous. 

What if Theo didn’t want to see you? What if he turned you away? Oh gods, what if he came in here with another girl—

You shook your head so violently that you were surprised that you hadn’t given yourself whiplash. For Godric’s fucking sake. You truly needed to get it together.

The door swung open and Theo threw his quidditch bag on the floor whilst kicking off his shoes. He nearly tossed his Nimbus right at your head, but you dodged it with a yelp at the last possible second. 

Theo whirled around, his eyes widening in surprise. “Merlin's fucking beard, you scared the bloody hell out of me!” He propped his broom up against the wall and crossed his arms. “What are you doing here, Y/N?” 

In the dim dungeon lighting, you could see the heavy bags underneath those watercolor eyes. Theo looked like he hadn’t slept in days and a part of you felt guilty for contributing to his distress. Despite practicing outside for hours, he looked paler than usual like the color had seeped out of his skin. You didn't imagine that you looked any better.

Seeing Theo again was harder than you thought it would be. It was like receiving the kiss of life and having the breath knocked out of your lungs all at once. Every fiber in your being, every nerve ending, every cell and neuron came alive at the sight of him. Theo was the sun and you were just a wandering star resisting his gravitational pull.

You fidgeted with your fingers. “Pansy let me in.” 

“Clearly my protection charms are ineffective against meddling witches,” Theo declared loudly, probably half expecting Pansy to be eavesdropping on the conversation. 

“Don’t be mad at Pansy. She was just trying to help me because she knew how badly I needed to talk to you.”

He sighed and closed the door behind him. Theo stayed put by the doorway as though he was afraid to take another step closer. You couldn’t blame him. “I heard you loud and clear during our last conversation.”

“That’s the thing. I’ve gone over that conversation over and over again in my head and I can’t even figure out what we were really even fighting about. I said some truly awful things and I’m—“ you paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry for that, Theo.” 

You wrung your hands together and averted his gaze. “If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m sort of shit at this whole vulnerability thing.”

“No fucking shit.”

A part of you knew you deserved that, but it didn’t hurt any less. You took a shaky breath, intent on focusing solely on the rug beneath your feet to keep yourself from crying. 

Theo came closer, his lanky frame coming into view. The smell of sweat and sea salt and cigarette smoke was so overwhelming that it made you feel a bit homesick. “Sorry, force of habit." He sat down next to you, nudging you with his shoulder. You swallowed thickly, wondering how in the hell that tiny bit of contact instantly soothed your nerves. "To be fair, I wasn’t entirely innocent in that exchange either. I said some horrible things too and it's eaten away at me all week. I'm sorry, Y/N. I was a complete arsehole to you."

“Yeah, I guess we’re both pretty big arseholes.”

His throaty chuckle sounded like music to your ears. “Is that it? You broke into my dorm just to call me an arsehole?”

You shook your head and forced yourself to look up at him. The fact that he was this close yet you weren't able to touch him made you physically ill. “No. During our fight, you said that I had no idea how you felt and you’re right. I don’t. I think I was just so hurt when you said that you weren’t my friend that I flew off the handle and didn’t even give any consideration to how you felt.” 

Theo clenched his jaw. “I don’t blame you. I was being an absolute prick when I said that.” His voice grew softer as he came closer. “What I really meant was that I didn’t want to be just friends. I was going to tell you.”

The pieces started coming together. He had been outside Ravenclaw Tower when Harry had dropped you off. “The night of the slug club dinner. Pansy said you were coming to talk to me and that you left the common room with flowers in your hand.”

He frowned. “I’m going to need to have a serious talk with Pansy about the importance of confidentiality. But yes, I had a whole speech prepared for you. I was going to pour my little heart out to you that night.”

“So why didn’t you?”

Theo clenched his fists and avoided your gaze. “I saw you kissing Potter.”

“You were jealous.”

It was more of a statement than a question. The entire thing clicked into place for you then. The discarded bouquet. The strange behavior afterwards. Theo had seen you kiss Harry on the cheek and mistook it for something else entirely. 

“I wanted to rip him to shreds.” Theo shifted beside you and sighed deeply. "I was so angry. At him, at you, but most of all, at myself. I saw you two together and I realized that Harry is the type of man you deserve. A good man. One who isn't haunted by dark magic and bad blood."

"What are you talking about, Theo?"

"I've been so selfish these past few months. I let myself think that I could...that I could be someone who deserves to be by your side. Someone who makes you smile and snort and roll your eyes at all my stupid jokes. Instead, all I've brought you is grief. You almost turned down the Slughorn dinner because of me. You came close to fighting Romilda because you were defending me and my friends. People whisper and stare when we walk down the halls together. I never cared when it was directed towards me, but I can't do that to you. I won't drag you down."

Tears filled your eyes. "I don't regret any of the things that have happened these past few months. People will always talk, Theo. That's their own problem. But the fact that you think you're dragging me down breaks my heart." Theo took a shaky breath when you took his face in your hands. "Do you not see how good you are? You're caring and kind and resilient. You're annoyingly charming and you infuriate me like no other, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives. You're the best person I know, Theodore Nott, and I'll not have you argue otherwise."

He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. "I wouldn't dream of it, amorina. You always win every argument we have anyways."

You chuckled, releasing a breath that you hadn't realized you've been holding since the moment Theo walked away from you in that potions classroom. He gently grasped your wrist, rubbing soothing circles against your skin. "What about Potter?"

"What about him?"

"That kiss," Theo whispered. "You don't know how much it killed me to see someone else kiss you."

"You know he's with Ginny right?" you said, watching as relief visibly washed over him. "Even if he wasn't, Harry is not my type."

"Oh yeah? What's your type then, diavolina?"

The nickname that you used to hate so much suddenly felt like a comforting hug. It was your thing. An inside joke that was only between the two of you.

"Snarky little Slytherins who vex me to death by thinking that I have a crush on Potter when I'm so obviously only into him," Theo chuckled softly. “If you had stayed, you would have seen that it was just an innocent kiss on the cheek. I was thanking Harry for walking me back to my dorm and for saving me from myself during the dinner.”

The expression of concern on his face softened everything in you. “It didn’t go well with Slughorn?”

“No, it went brilliantly. I listened to him commend our stellar performance in his class and I couldn’t fucking stomach any of it. Not when the one person that deserved it wasn’t even there,” your voice cracked as you recalled the anger you felt that night. “All because of something that isn’t your fault. I lost it. I gave Slughorn a piece of my mind and stormed out. I would’ve done a lot worse if Harry hadn’t stopped me, but it made me sick…all of it made me sick. And I wished more than anything that you were beside me making inappropriate jokes that would’ve had me rolling my eyes in annoyance.”

Theo tilted your chin up, giving you a full view of the spreading grin on his face. “You missed me.” 

You nodded, feeling your breath catch in your throat. “I did,” you confirmed. “I do.” 

To your surprise, Theo wrapped you in his arms. As he hugged you, every ounce of dread and anxiety dissolved while he held you so tightly that you could hardly breathe. 

“I’ve missed you too,” he whispered into your hair. “I have missed you every moment we were apart.” 

Whatever armor you may have had around your heart came crashing down at that moment. Theo had taken a sledgehammer to your defenses and obliterated them entirely. 

“I’m sorry, Theo,” you cried, clutching at his chest. “I’m sorry for all the horrible things I said. I didn’t mean it—I was just scared.” 

Theo rubbed your back and whispered in a soothing voice. “I know, love. I was scared too. I still am,” he admitted shakily. You blinked as he swiped your tears away with his thumb. “When we started this, I thought it would be easy. Sleeping with someone who hated me meant that there was no chance of me getting hurt. It was supposed to be simple, but you made it anything but."

The tenderness in his gaze pierced through your very soul. "You clawed your way into my heart with your surly attitude and violent threats, but you also showed me this vulnerable side of you that feeds baby thestrals and defends my friends and drinks disgusting pumpkin flavored beverages. Then you started becoming more than just someone I wanted to sleep with. You became my friend.” 

You sobbed, burying your face in his chest. “I’ll always be your friend, Theo. Always.”

“I know, Y/N. Aside from Pansy and the guys, you’re probably my best friend. Though if Mattheo asks, I'll deny it. You know how possessive he gets."

You chuckled through your tears. "You're my best friend, too. You're the only person I want to talk about my day with, no matter how eventful or boring. I care about your quidditch rants and your gelato obsession and your weird habit of cutting the crust off of every sandwich you eat."

"Hey, it's perfectly normal to have an aversion to crust, okay." You snorted, which made him grin from ear to ear. "Gods, I have missed that laugh. I have missed everything about you, my sullen, irritable, and borderline violent little Ravenclaw." You smiled as he caressed your cheek. "No one has ever stood up for me like you have. I’ve just gotten so used to being blamed for my father’s sins that I stopped fighting it. It’s easier to let them think that I’m the bad guy.”

You looked up and held his gaze, conveying everything that you wanted to say that you couldn't put into words. “But you’re not, Theo. You’ve never been the bad guy.”

He smiled softly. “I know and you know. That’s enough for me.”

“When did you get to be so mature, Theodore Nott?”

“Since the girl that I’m hopelessly and pathetically in love with told me to grow the fuck up.” Theo’s eyes shone with emotion as he looked at you.  “I tried not to fall for you. Gods, I tried so fucking hard, but I failed.” He dropped his forehead down to yours. “I have failed utterly and miserably, because I am in love with you and I’m tired of hiding it. You have my heart, Y/N. Break it. Crush it. Decimate it. Do what you must, but please know that it's yours. It will always be yours."

A pained laugh escaped from your lips. “I love you too, Theo. I have no defense left. No armor of logic or reason that you haven’t completely destroyed. Hai conquistato il mio cuore.”

You have conquered my heart. 

Theo placed your hand on his chest. “Do you feel that? I think my heart just stopped beating. The things you do to me, Y/N.” 

You smiled and pulled him in by the front of his jersey. “I think I know a way to make it start beating again.”

“Yeah?” Theo asked with a smirk. 

“Yeah.” 

He smiled as you impatiently tugged him down, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. Theo sighed against your mouth before picking you up bridal style, which made you yelp in surprise. You giggled as he gently placed you on the bed, his lips never once leaving yours. 

“Gods, I love you,” he murmured. “Not just your body, but your smile. Your laugh. Your cute little snort. The way your nose scrunches up when I annoy you. I love it. I love all of it. I missed you so fucking much. Staying away from you was hell.” 

“I missed you, too. All your snarky little comebacks and borderline vulgar one-liners and your eyes. Gods, you have no right having such pretty eyes.” 

Theo smirked. “Oh my god, Y/N. You totally have a crush on me.” He dug his fingers into your sides as you laughed and wriggled underneath him. Theo continued his assault, bypassing the top layer of your robe for better access. His gaze softened as he hovered over you. “Are you wearing my jumper?” 

You tugged at the hem and smiled sheepishly. “I may or may not have slept in it all week. You’re not getting it back, so don’t even ask.” 

“It’s alright. At least now you’re finally representing the best uni.” 

His words gave you pause. “Wait,” you said, looking down at the faded jumper. “Theodore, are you telling me that all this time I’ve been wearing a Cambridge jumper? The Cambridge jumper that you begged your mum to buy for you during your first visit?” 

“The very same one.” 

“But you love this thing. You said you wore it until it was down to its last thread.” 

“Yeah, but I love you more,” he beamed as he kissed your cheek. “I knew I was a goner the night I gave it to you. I spent the entire summer thinking about you. I thought I was going insane. It was worse than nicotine withdrawals. Then I had you again and I thought that would take care of the craving, but I got greedy. I just wanted more and more of you.” 

“Oh my god, Theo. You totally have a crush on me.” 

“I fancy the pants out of you, Y/N.”

“Good, cause you’re about to get me out of them in a minute.” 

“You,” Theo said, punctuating the word with a kiss. “Are,” Another kiss. “Perfect.” You giggled as he smacked his lips against yours. “Sono pazzo di te, amore mio.” 

You smiled. “I’m crazy about you too, Teddy.” 

“Teddy?” 

“D’ya like it?” 

Theo kissed you again, this time savoring every second as he pressed his body against yours. “I love it and I love you.” 

“I love you too, Teddy.”

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[tocomplainfriend]

VIV is constantly criticized by her own fault.

TW: Mention of: SA, Rape, Transphobia, fat phobia, Antiblackness.

(Hey, i'mma probably do a post eventually about episode 4. Btw, awfully shit, worse than I thought it could be... BIG TW OF R-PE AND SA IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEE IT. AND TW of the minimization of those topics too.)

(SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH IN THIS POST TOO)

BUT I NEED TO CALL ATTENTION TO THIS! One of the reasons I criticize a lot of Viv specifically is because of how much she puts herself out there. She sees something she posts on Twitter about it a shit ton (even on "threads" lol). AND because of how lacking of improvement she has being. (I personally know people I have considered terrible when we were teens, but I have seen legit improvement from them in recent years. They seem like people who struggle, but got to grow up and made up for any problems (or pain caused to me or others). People have the ability to change and become better. Something that matters at pointing out issues or discussing-is the idea of creating change on others. It is better to get someone to change for the better than to cast them into the forever jail of nothingness (unless, IDK, they Sexually Assaulted someone, for example). Specially when they are young people. Doesn't mean YOU have to stick with other people that hurt you, no. Doesn't mean people get to do what ever and get away with it.

BUT All of this problem I have seen from Viv are from age 19-30. (you can change at anytime btw) And see constantly repeats herself and her actions. Seems to have never accepted criticism (said by herself too), and never able to see her own faults. The fact that is a continuous behavior is a problem, how she always responds is awful. My post of "Viv has being transphobic for 10 years", was to signal that. If she really had changed over those 10 years to a genuine thing- I could've taken that! But no, the shitty double standard against trans men... the weird treatment. THE MANY STORIES OF EMPLOYEES GETTING MISGENDERED HEAVILY, TOO.

(I know people who were transphobic [When they were teens mainly], that Genuinely improved and changed their beliefs. Now they treat trans people with respect and care! And still learning about gender-fluid people, too!)

It just seems to be further and further away from getting better! The fact that she only decides to take in account voices from SA victims that agree with her- it's painful as a victim, my self!

And yes, people who sent gore or dumbass shit to Viv (or the team) don't help. And go get help why you're looking and sending Gore to anyone. (Also, stuff like this does lead to people not listening to others people genuine callouts). The fact that I criticize something doesn't mean I agree with the people that go and do shit like the thing I just mention above.

AND ALSO A IMPORTANT THING HERE!

This drawing was created by DollCreep. BUT ALSO FUCKING REMEMBER this was done in response to the shit that Viv drew of him.

If you didn't know Viv drew a transphobic caricature of DollCreep using the name Jojo (his old nickname). This put together with a shitty anti-sjw meme video. DollCreep is a transman, Viv drew a character based on him. A furry wolf girl, If you can see in the image the main thing listed below the character name is the fucking "Sex=♀️". SO ON PURPOSE, CHRIST. Like... AND YES-is shitty from both to have drawn this (even if it was in respond) mainly immature in DC part. But that, or any toxicity coming from DC, doesn't delete the transphobia here. (imagine drawing a racist caricature of a poc person, because they are shitty to you). THE POST LINKED ABOVE SHOWS THE SITUATION, and in the end of the day. Viv says that DC is an abusive shitty person to her, but never realizing her own faults or anything she could'be possibly done wrong! (and again, any wrong done by DC in general can not be deleted by the fact of having being treated badly. If he did shitty stuff himself, that doesn't delete the wrong done in general to him or to others by viv)

Here about transphobia:

(this is like 8yrs old too)

Again, she never acknowledges anything that she might have done wrong. "She is a thoughtful person, that wants tor write queer and disabled characters! She wants to tell empowering stories of..." It doesn't even feel close to that when people bring up actual problems in her writing that are stereotyping or bad, and she just yells and cries. It all feels like empty sticks she is only interested in in the surface level, she doesn't want to actually deal with.

When she says "This characters is black guys ♡♡♡" and then the fucking 7th, a grayish character with zero black features. She can not actually try and draw a black person with a different hair texture, she'll faith is hair isn't straight and spiky (has done this so much too). She is all for positivity and diversity (can not draw more than 1 character that isn't a fucking stick with the same stupid face).

She can not write relationships in general. She cannot do gay couples, then don't lean on the stupid old uke uwu defenceless x big rough seme protector stuff. Again, all the interactions with Husk and Angel are sexual harassment. They are already a revealed future couple (and episode 4 is terrible for them, specially with that song). Stolitz is toxic, and predatory. That is not acknowledged, and all Stolas's predatory behavior and power dynamics are put in the background, cause- "look how sad Stolas is :(! HIS DAD IS SOOO MEAN, HIS WIFE IS A BITCH". All her gay characters are in pure surface: over-sexual twinks that are assholes, which also fit into the top/bottom as personality boxes.

Any other point includes sexual harassment as a joke. BUT KNOW SHE WANTS TO BE LIKE "GUYS SA STORIES MATTER, LOOK AT WHAT I WROTE" as if she didn't lean back into the problem of the diminishing of SA and r- (in general and done to men) with her jokes in HB. With all the sexual harassment that Angel Dust puts on Husk and others. (AND YES THERE IS NO WARNING IN EPISODE 4, FOR ITS HEAVY TOPICS! I do believe all series/movies with this need it. SPECIALLY IF IT'S SO GRAPHIC! "Sexual content" is not the same as a warning for SA or R-pe. An adult can see a movie with sex or sexual nutidy- when they see that- but it's different to get straight assault on screen. Victims can watch movies/series with sex in them all good, you cannot just group consensual sex in the same assault or R-pe...)

The thing where Mammon (the only fat character that isn’t from the fucking background.) is like FIZZ YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. AS IF SHE COULD EVEN DRAW ANY DIFFERENT BODY SHAPE WITHOUT DYING. Like there is only Mimzy (hasn't appeared yet, not given any importance. In the female lead show). Mammon the piece of shit (does the same as Blitz, but he is actually fully bad.) His design is done with 80 fucking layers on top. Like all the test of the skinny character's clothes suck up to their body except for Mammon. His body is hidden in layers upon layers of clothing (that's all you got?). All you main guys need to fill "the skinny have nothing men" and "skinny woman with big hips and legs, but no fucking stomach"?

AND YES! VIV DOES DO THE FUCKING, "FAT = FOOD LMAOOO". You know the thing HH fans and hater where like the "Bee needs to fat thing is bad, cause of fat = food (only food) is reductive and shitty"

(Can I refer to how the show Bojack H, make Diane gain weight cause of anti depressants- and it wasn't a joke! And she was happier too?)

(mine, from post right below)

... like is a bundle of issues. And Viv will never accept that she might be /or is wrong. That's why it hits the fan with stuff. -And again I liked many of the little concepts and stuff in HB and the original pilot of Hazbin. Shit- I still like Sir Pentious and Nifty. I do like Mammon as much as he is a pack of problems to call out, I fucking love the piece of shit Australian jester- The artist work hard on it, and I'm happy it's an openly queer! (as limited as it gets, too....). I liked Huni-cast, I loved the original voice cast! -and that happens! I could be writing this about other stuff too, not only Hazbin... if I created this blog earlier- IT WOULD ALL BE ABOUT RWBY, DANGANRONPA, even svtfoe...Ladybug... or Agretsuko's ending too. So yeah, sorry for the long post (as if all my post weren't)

[heartshapedcigaretteburns]

Situationship! Simon "Ghost" Riley

Pt. 2 of this

(This gif gets me bro. Stop looking at me like that omg 🤭🤭💦)

Neither of you really remember the contents of that drunken night enough to have predicted this life changing event. Everything in your lives continues as normal for about 3 weeks. It's about a week into Simons 2 month deployment when you start feeling the classic symptoms of pregnancy. First it's the missed period- whatever, you've had irregular periods since you were 13 so it doesn't particularly worry you especially since you and Simon were always safe (😬). The soreness of your breasts happens soon after that and then it's the nausea and bloating. At this point you're still clueless. You assume it's your late period finally deciding to show up (it's not your fault that early pregnancy feels the same as starting your time of the month.)

However, when 2 more weeks pass with all of the same irritating symptoms but no period you decide to give your doctor a quick call just to see if it's necessary to come in for a visit at this point. You set an appointment for the next day as she recommends just to make sure it's not a hormone issue or something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you're sitting on the stiff hospital bed, a nurse comes by to ask a few questions to help your doctor when she comes in later. It's the normal questions- “What are your symptoms?” You list them off. “How long have you had these symptoms?” “About 2 weeks.” “Any allergies to medication?” “No.” “Are you sexually active?” “Yes” “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?” “No. Wait-” Condoms aren't 100% effective tho so there's a sliver of a chance. “Maybe?"

“Well it couldn't hurt anything to do a test."

You doubt you need it but it's better to be safe anyways (see what I did there?) She brings you a cup and instructs you to pee in it and bring it back to her and you think of how embarrassing that is as you walk to the bathroom. Once the job is done you rush back to your room like a man on a mission, your mission is to not be seen carrying a cup of your own pee around. 

You're talking to your primary doctor about your symptoms when the nurse walks back with a cheshire grin on her face and clipboard in her hands. “Well Doc, I think we know what the diagnosis is.” She gushed as she handed the clipboard over to the doctor. “Y/n, congratulations. You're about 6 weeks pregnant.” Your doctor remarked with less enthusiasm than the nurse, unsure how you feel about the news. “You have multiple options moving forward. You can keep the baby, you can-" You snap back to reality at these words and interrupt with a harsh “I'm keeping the baby."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From then, you move forward with appointments and start looking for a better apartment to raise a child in. Though you wish you could contact Simon to tell him, you're quite thankful for the opportunity to process it for yourself. It also gives you plenty of time to prepare yourself for his possible reaction. You know this is strictly casual and he doesn't want kids in the future, let alone at this point in his life. Considering this, you ready yourself to lose him before you ever even have him and have to raise this kid alone. 

You were hoping that Simon would eventually come around to your charm and your relationship would gradually become less and less casual but you're sure this will scare him away for good. You are incredibly disappointed that you'll never know what it's like to be loved by him but you can't imagine not raising this baby. You're not sure whether you'd prefer the baby to be more like you or Simon. As much as you'd love to get to see him in the tiny person that you created together, you don't want to be reminded of what you could've had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon goes to text you to tell you he's coming back a bit earlier than previously thought but decides that this time he'll surprise you by showing up at your doorstep. God he's missed you so much. He's missed your smile and pretty eyes. He's missed your voice and the way you laugh at his grim “jokes". He's missed the way your mouth feels wrapped around his cock. He can't help crawling back to you.

He arrives at your door with takeout and a bottle of red wine and woefully unprepared for the sight he's about to be met with. When the door finally creaks open, he's face to face with you once again but something's different now. Now there's a barely noticeable but definitely there baby bump. His eyes instinctively glue themselves to the soft swell of your tummy as he just stares with a completely unreadable expression. “Simon-" “Y/n." You can't help the tears that start to sting at your eyes. “Surprise?" You croak out painfully, under the impression that this is the last crumb you'll ever get of Simon."You're-” 

"Pregnant” you cut him off. “It's mine?" “Of course." The tears that blur your vision drop and trail down your cheeks as he watches your lip tremble. 

He welcomes himself into your home, setting his things down on your entryway table and pulling you in close. He holds you tight, cradling your head in his hands lovingly. “Don't cry love. Why are you crying?" He whispers softly into your hair. He rubs your back soothingly as you sob into his chest “Don't wanna lose you. I'm sorry, Simon, I know you don't want this." 

It's at this moment he recalls that night he drunkenly bred you. Suddenly his eyes darken with an unknown emotion and something in the air shifts as he discovers that side of him for the first time again but sober this time. It's like something primal clicks in his brain and he's looking at you lustfully. He brings his hand down to cup your swollen belly and drops his mouth down to drop a tender kiss on your lips. “If I remember correctly, this is my doing Lovie" he whispers against your soft lips. “What do you mean?" You ask perplexed. You don't know what’s going on. He's not freaking out. For some reason he's saying this was his doing. “You don't remember?" Simon teases as he slowly picks you up and starts marching to your bedroom."Remember what? What are you talking about, Si?” your worry dissipates fully and now you're more confused and curious than anything as he carries you off. “Guess I'll just have to show you." He threatens as he lays you down on your bed.

Best believe you remember by the end of the night.

I actually loved writing this omg this was way out of my comfort zone with the way I chose to write it but I like how it turned out. I hope you guys enjoy it too. As always, ignore any spelling or grammar mistakes. Love you 😽💞

Taglist: @mytherapisttoldmenotto

[cheeseceli]

Even after all

pairing: Beomgyu × gn!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: none? lemme know if there's something I missed

A/n: nah this one's my masterpiece fr

"Y/n," you heard Beomgyu's voice through your sleep. Although it was soft, it was enough to make you open your eyes "wake up."

And so you did.

You saw your boyfriend's face before anything else. He was sitting on the bed side and he was very, very awake, unlike you. It seemed like he ignored the fact that it was nearly 2am and he performed the whole day, instead deciding to stay awake and active.

"Gyu? What happened?"

"Marry me."

You sat up as well. Your voice was hoarse and your vision was a bit blurred, but you heard him well. But that was reality. Maybe you were sleepy still. For what you know that could be a wild dream. So you replied with the only reasonable answer you could've thought of:

"What?"

"Marry me" he repeated himself louder this time, thinking that the only problem was that you couldn't quite hear him. Up on seeing your still confused face, he explained into more details. "I don't have a ring. I don't have a speech and I don't have our families approval. I wasn't planning on doing this. I thought about marriage quite a few times but I never actually planned anything. That is, until now."

"Did you plan this?"

He giggled, noticing how absurd the occasion was. But then he looked at you and you saw he had no intentions of backing down, his determination growing by the second.

"Waking up and asking for your hand before you could even process anything? No, I... I didn't plan this. But you woke up at 3 am yesterday because of your job and still waited for me to come home at midnight. You ask to watch all my performances even though they are basically all the same thing. You take care of me even when we're a sea apart. You always give me so much support and always help me improve. You said yes to dating an idol and haven't complained not even once, even when you had so many reasons to. For God's sake, you said yes to dating me" he said while laughing, with love shining through his eyes "and even though I can be a real pain in the ass sometimes, you never left my side. Y/n, I've never felt so loved before. And I would be and idiot if I didn't try to flourish it. So, marry me?"

He was holding your hand like it meant the most precious thing in the world for him, and it actually did. Not even once he stopped looking at you with so much love and determination. The more you looked at him the more you were speechless. You couldn't find the right words to explain your feelings even if you knew all the languages in the world, or if you had a million years to try, so you did all you could think of:

With open arms, you threw yourself over him making him lose his balance and making you both fall on the bed. Still, you didn't loosen your grip, hugging him tighter than you ever did. You were so close that you could feel his heart beat. Strong and peaceful at the same time. All yours.

"Should I take this as a yes?"

You nodded your head, unable of giving him a proper answer as the feelings were all over the place and the tears flooded down.

"Are you crying?"

"You just proposed to me, of course I'm crying."

He laughed again, taking your face into his hands. He was smiling. You swear you've never seen such a big and genuine smile plastering his lips before. "And you said yes. I can't believe you said yes."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Oh, how I love you. Let's sleep now, hm? I've already stolen too many precious hours of your sleep."

"I don't know if I'll be able to sleep anyways. You better not regret this once we wake up."

Beomgyu adjusted his position while not letting go of you. He hugged you tight and kissed your forehead. You couldn't see him, but you could imagine his satisfied smile when he said:

"I wouldn't regret this in a lifetime."

dividers by @cafekitsune

feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

[imrllytootiredforthis]

We all have seen how considerate hyunjin is. For example when he was sharing the bed with han and han wrapped the blanket around himself so instead of trying to take the blanket back he opted to wear a hoodie instead. That makes me think of him wanting you to finger him but not telling you because you like your nails long and/or struggling to grow them so he settled for his fingers until you catch him

he's such a sweet and considerate boy~

his dirty little secret probably started off with porn, as it always does, knowing the kind of stuff he was into he just searched that up and stumbled upon a particular one with fingering in it

the next day, his mind blown, he approaches you, only to remember

and he doesn't want to inconvenience you, doesn't want you to have to cut your pretty long nails that you often talk about how much you love, that you go and get done professionally painted, showing them off to him when you get home, asking him what he thinks,

he always says they look pretty-because they do, because they look so pretty when they're wrapped around his throat or his cock,

when they're brushing all over his skin, playing with his oh so sensitive nipples and roughly pushing his face to look up at you

he regularly fantasizes about your hands, about your pretty long nails, about the way they feel on him, the things they could do to him.

there's no way he could ask you to cut them. even if he wants you to finger him sosososo bad, even when that's all he can think about, when he can't stop thinking about it.

the video becomes regular jerk-off material for him, in secret, whenever he's home alone or you're doing whatever else, attention not focused on him for the time being.

even when it's not enough, even when he knows that you fingers will feel so much better, when he can only get off if he's imagining it's your fingers knuckle-deep inside of him, stuffing him so full.

he writhes on the newly cleaned sheets, video playing in the background even though he already knows it by heart. the lube is cracked open and sitting still open on the nightstand.

his body is covered in a sheen layer of sweat, his hair soaked with it, sticking to his forehead uncomfortably-

-if he could think of that.

if he could think of anything other than his fingers buried deep inside him, scissoring and stretching himself out.

he sobs at the feeling, head conjuring up things that he wishes were real.

your voice, comforting and a touch mean. your touch, warm and gentle, somehow so different from his own. your presence. controlling and all-encompassing, taking every ounce of worry from your babyboy. making his head go fuzzy, making him forget all his stress and think of only you; you and the pleasure you give him and how much he loves you and wants you and needs you.

god, god. he whines needily, grinding down on his fingers, pushing them deep inside of him. his other hand coming up to tease at his hard nipples.

"please,"

he begs. to no one in particular. to you, maybe? but you're not here. only he's here, left to his own devices, to his own fingers, wishing they were yours because he can't bring himself to ask you to cut your own.

"i need it."

he sounds pathetic, he really does, even to his own ears. you'd tell him that if you were here. call him pathetic and pitiful,

'can't even get yourself off, hmm jinnie~' he nods, sobs again, trying to go harder, his wrist burning, aching. 'dumb little puppy needs my help?'

"yes! t-touch me, please touch me!"

"you could've just told me puppy."

he jumps, pulling his fingers out when he realizes that he wasn't fully hallucinating. that the image he sees of you isn't just a vision his lust-addled brain come up with.

you step closer,

"now c'mon jinnie, use your fingers again."

hesitantly, he does.

he wonders where this is going, what you're going to do to him now.

"move them, find your prostate for me."

you come closer again, until you're practically leaning over him, brushing away his own hand on his chest, replacing it with your own.

with your hands with your pretty long nails.

he moans, long and deep, squeaking as he grazes his fingertips over the sensitive spot. "f-found it." he shakily gasps, eyes squeezing shut.

"good boy, now keep going."

"o-okay."

"so cute~can't wait until i can play with you myself." your fingers squeeze his soft lips, unable to help yourself as they fall open with a loud groan. "just wait until i cut my nails tomorrow baby."

you peck his lips. once. twice. your voice lowers a few octaves as you speak again, growing a rasp with lust. "it'll be so much fun."

[half-oz-eddie]

Attached, like that ❤️‍🩹 internalized homophobia tw

"...I think I'm getting too attached to you." Billy said randomly, eating the soft pretzel Steve brought him on their lunch breaks.

"What? Whaddya mean?" Steve wondered, passing the shared drink between them.

"We spend a lot of time together lately. Now, whenever I don't see you, I'm..." He fought to hold back, or tried to, but if he couldn't talk to Steve, he felt like he couldn't talk to anyone. "I get pissed when I don't get to see you. Not pissed at you, just—pisses me off. I dunno."

"I think that's normal." Steve reassured.

"I don't think it is."

"It is." Steve confirmed again. "I get pretty bummed when we can't hang out too. Only difference is...everything pisses you off. So you show anger for all your emotions."

Billy tusked, narrowing his eyes at Steve. "Fuck you."

"Lighten up." Steve playfully nudged. "I'm not givin' you shit about it. Just saying."

"Okay so, what, it's normal to be upset when we don't see each other?"

"I think so." Steve nodded. "We're friends."

"Do you get upset when you can't see Robin? Or those dweebs?"

"Hm...Now that I think about it..." He shook his head, a chuckle escaping him. "No. It doesn't bother me at all."

"So then we're too attached to each other." Billy deduced. "You know this is pussy shit, right? To be attached to another guy?"

"So what if it is?" Steve shrugged. "You mean a lot to me, Billy. We've been getting along so much better than I could've imagined."

"I can't be...that way." Billy stared off, a tense, pained look on his face. "I can't...feel these things for you. It's not natural."

"If it wasn't natural, why do we feel like this?"

"I don't have all the fuckin answers, Harrington." Billy snapped. "It...feels like I did something wrong. I did something to make me like this."

Steve turned to Billy, hoping for clarity. "Billy...do you like me?"

Billy growled as he sprang up from the spot he sat with Steve, turning his back to him. "Yeah. I fuckin like you, alright? I couldn't help it. Couldn't control my feelings. Gonna fuck off and never talk to me again, now?"

"No. I think...I like you too. I didn't think I was...that way either. But I feel the same way I felt about Nancy about you. I didn't choose this. It just happened."

Billy turned his attention back to Steve. "We gotta make it stop, Harrington. We gotta make this shit go away so we can still hang out without...becoming..." He let out a defeated sigh. "Neil would kill me."

Steve stood, slowly grabbing Billy's hand.

Billy's heart skipped a beat when their fingers touched. He pulled away and turned his back to Steve once more. "We can't do this."

"Do you wanna do this?"

Billy shrugged.

Steve stared at Billy's tense back and scrunched up shoulders, overhearing a soft sniffle.

He peeked over at Billy's face, spotting the tears when Billy pointedly turned away.

Steve placed comforting hands on Billy's shoulders prompting him to loosen up. "Look at me. C'mon." He coaxed. "We stayed up all night on prom night, talking shit and drinking. We've seriously bonded, man. You know you can tell me anything."

"I wish I didn't tell you this." Billy admitted. "Now I feel like I lost my friend."

Steve slowly spun Billy around. "No matter what happens, you're always gonna be my friend, alright? We can pretend this conversation didn't happen if you want to."

"Don't you want to?" Billy questioned. "You don't wanna be...this either, right?"

"I don't really mind. I've already come to terms with this awhile ago. But if it's too hard for you, I don't mind that either. As long as we can still hang out."

Billy intertwined his pinky with Steve's. "I can't just be your friend. The feelings aren't gonna disappear. They're too strong."

Steve gently grasped Billy's chin. Billy's heart began to race with excitement and fear. He worriedly glanced around, and Steve turned his head back towards him. "We're alone. No one's ever disturbed us in the 2 months we've been hanging out in this shed."

Billy sighed. "I fuckin' know that, but it doesn't mean I'm not scared."

"Let's take this one step at a time, then. How about a kiss—"

"No." Billy immediately refused. "If I kiss you, I'm never gonna be able to stop thinking about you. Then I'll really be in deep."

Steve laughed. "I never took you for a worrier, Billy."

"Yeah, well, I never took me for a lot of things...but here we are."

"Listen, Billy. It's our life. We can do whatever we want, and we don't have to tell anyone anything about how we feel or...what we are. We can just...be two pals in public, and we can be who we really are in the privacy of my house."

Billy liked the idea of being able to be his true self with Steve. He needed to shed away some of the expectations from his father and sort his shit out a bit, but he knew one thing for certain: He wanted Steve.

"So you like me, huh? You really like me?"

Steve nodded with certainty. "Yeah. I really do."

"So you like...wanna fuck me and stuff?" Billy asked teasingly, sticking his tongue out at Steve.

Steve turned red at the thought. "I—" He laughed. "Maybe—how about...a kiss first?"

Billy finally agreed, his lips slowly meeting Steve's. They were soft and welcoming, and tasted like pepsi and bananas. Weird combination, sure, but it was Steve's lips he kissed, and that was the best part of all.

"I uh...I have to get back to work." Steve spoke softly, their lips still ghosting one another's.

"Me too. But I'll see you later, right?"

Steve nodded. "I can't wait."

Billy stole one more kiss and watched as Steve hurried out of the shed.

They hadn't discussed the nature of their relationship just yet, but Billy wanted to take one step at a time. Each step with Steve was another step toward Billy becoming his own person.

He realized...it was okay to be...like that with Steve. It was better than being like Neil.

Billy went back to his lifeguard chair, smiling to himself, thinking about the next time he'd kiss Steve's lips.

[aslongasimhereyoureinvincible]

okay im sorry but just imagine being kageyama tobio. your parents are always working late, your sister quit volleyball years ago and now she's off being an adult and having a career, none of your teammates get why you care so much and the only guy who did, because he cared the same amount in the same way, graduated 2 years ago and also hated your guts. your peers have given you a cruel nickname just so they can reinforce how little they like or understand you, you dont have any friends, you have nothing but volleyball actually, your grandfather is dead and you are clinging to the promise he made you when you were a little kid because if you dont you might just go insane. you are so, so incredibly lonely.

and then, THEN, this scrawny 5 foot nothing kid stares you down outside the gymnasium bathrooms and promises to beat you, and he totally sucks at volleyball. like, he. is. terrible. but he can run, and he has good reflexes, he jumps so high he looks like he's flying, and most importantly he runs headfirst into a wall and then says 'we haven't lost yet' like its the most obvious thing in the world when his teammates ask him why he bothered. and you realise this kid is just like you, the same kind of fucked in the head you are. and youre furious, what the hell has this guy been doing for the past 3 years? your grandfather promised you that someone even better would come and find you are here he is, but you beat his team in less than an hour and you're pretty sure you'll never see him again, despite him promising to take you down, because never once in your life has anyone who was supposed to stick around actually do that. you're angry because you didn't have to be so painfully lonely all these years, you could've had someone who kept up with you, but he just wasn't there, because he sucks and you don't but he doesn't have to and that makes it so much worse than you just being a freak who was completely one of a kind.

and then you go back to your team, back to your last middle school tournament, and you play more games. only this time youre pissed. you know that there's someone else like you now, someone who will. not. stop until the ball has hit the floor and you don't get why your teammates won't just be better, try harder, move faster. and then they abandon you too. you thought you were alone before, but now you have absolutely nothing, not even volleyball. and you didn't get into the school your grandfather went to, and the coach you picked your back-up school for is in the hospital, and your plan for the next 3 years is to essentially bide your time until you get scouted into the v-league because you literally do not have anything left and you are doing everything your 15 years old and incredibly depressed self can because you refuse to let go of volleyball, no matter how lonely it makes you, no matter how much it hurts to cling on.

and then, AND THEN. that same scrawny dumbass from that 2-0 match in middle school is there and he still sucks and he's still the same kind of fucked in the head that you are and you won't give him one of your 'royal sets', not after what happened last time, you can't stop being lonely but you can at least try to not get abandoned again. and he says 'forget all that, i'll be here no matter what', and he spikes the damn set. he shuts his freaking eyes and he trusts you and you have just had the rug pulled out from underneath your damn feet because you understand, maybe better than anyone else, being ready to do whatever it takes to win but who the hell just fully puts their faith in someone else like that and maybe, just maybe, this kid was serious when he swore he'd get better and take you down.

he's invincible as long as youre there and so are you as long as you have him. you ask him if he's prepared to go all the way to the world stage to take you on, because you've never set your sights anywhere else, and he tells you he'll match you every step of the way. he picks up your crown, puts it right back on your head and proves to you that he refuses to leave you just like everyone else did, even at your worst. you tossed and he spiked and he said 'i'm here' and he is.

he is, and he never stops being here for you, chasing after you, making you chase after him, even when he's on the other damn side of the planet. and then 6 whole years after you first met him, first played him, first thought that maybe your grandfather would keep his promise to you, you get to play him again and you realise that he is your someone even better, always has been. actually, they all are. and you're not that lonely tyrant you used to be anymore, youre not that sad, abandoned kid hiding behind anger and obsession, you're doing the thing you love surrounded by people who love it in the same fucked in the head way that he and you do, and the man you love is there across the net from you, playing against you, and he's also there on the court next to you, playing with you, and either way he is here.

you got really, really good at volleyball, and somebody even better came and found you.

he's here.

[delqcate]

-–— FLANNEL SHIRTS : FLUFFTOBER DAY 3

i was supposed to post this yesterday but i was incredibly tired, anyways this is shorter and personally not one of my favorites so far, but i hope you guys still like it 🤸‍♀️ | flufftober | navigation

summary: nothing sounds better than being wrapped around in scott barringer's flannel shirts

warnings/cw: no y/n

word count: 0.5k

paring: scott barringer x you

Flannel shirts were his brand at this point. You see a tall, dirty blonde boy wearing any type of flannel, it was most likely Scott. Whether the season or weather, he would be wearing one.

It was something you noticed when you first met him, his blue flannel shirt just seemed like a style choice until a couple of weeks later when you noticed he had almost every color imaginable. And as you grew closer to him, the thought of wearing one of them sounded like one of the best comforts right next to his warm embrace.

The bell that rang throughout the wooden walls of the classroom snapped you out of your thoughts and started to pack your things alongside everyone. "I was thinking, since we have to do that reading over the weekend, why don't we just read it together? At least the first few pages."

His raspy voice was always something you loved about him. "It's not a bad idea. How about after classes tonight in the common room?" You move closer to him as the both of you walk, not too close to cause stares. He nods and looks into your eyes, a silent look that you understand despite it saying a thousand words.

It was late at night, and you and Scott were curled up on the couch together surrounded by the other Cliffhangers who were reading or just talking with each other. But you couldn't focus as Scott read the book aloud so the both of you could be on the same page, your gaze was focused on his flannel shirt.

It was a darker color than his other flannels, but it complimented him well, especially at this time of the year. You didn't even realize that he had stopped reading until he spoke. "You still there? I feel like you're not as interested in my reading." He chuckles out, adjusting his position.

"Hm? Oh- Scott, you know I could never be tired of your voice.” You smile softly and yawn. It had been a long day of assignments, classes, and cleaning duty in the kitchens after all.

"Yeah, alright that may be true, but are you sure you're not focused on anything else?" He wraps an arm around you, your body is starting to feel even warmer, like a fuzzy type of warm. "I promise." Your gaze moves back to his flannel and a smile forms on your face.

"You know, if you really wanted to borrow it, you could've asked me in the first place." A small grin was forming on his face as he put the book down and slipped his flannel off, draping it over you. You feel your cheeks warm up in embarrassment but also as a way of showing your gratitude.

"It was obvious, wasn't it?" You bite your lip and rest your head on his shoulder, sighing softly. "You've been looking at me more than usual whenever I wear them. How much more obvious could you get?" He smirks and sighs, opening the book again and staring to read.

You couldn't tell what was more comforting in this moment, his voice as he read, his flannel around you, or maybe just him in general. Maybe it was all three. Either way, it was a nice feeling that got you even more all warm and fuzzy.

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 6

Part 5 / AO3 Link

Steve was too in shock to do anything at first. Then he grabbed Eddie by the shirt and pulled him in close, pressing his nose to his neck where his scent was strongest. Eddie did a very good job of keeping still while an omega he was crazy for sniffed at him so intently.

"It really was you", Steve said after a moment, still so close that Eddie could feel his lips move. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Eddie's eyes bugged out of his head. "Me!? Why didn't you? You're the one who was all 'have we met before?' You could've-"

"I didn't know! I mean, I didn't remember!", Steve exclaimed as he moved back from Eddie's personal space. Then he frowned. "I was delirious from pushing out an entire human and nearly falling to rejection sickness. What's your excuse for not recognizing me?", he crossed his arms.

"Baby", Eddie smiled fondly and Steve kind of hated how he was starting to melt at that. "In your words, you had just pushed out a whole human. You were looking rather...disheveled", he put gently.

Steve's face had been red and swollen from the effort, glistening with sweat. His hair either stuck to his forehead or a mess of a nest, sticking in the hair. How was he supposed to equate that person with the one in front of him? It had been a day of high stress for both of them. Eddie had just come from visiting his uncle after a bad accident when a nurse asked him in a rush if he was available to assist an omega giving birth.

"My mom was kind of in a similar situation, so I'm told", Eddie said. "My dad had been arrested the night before. Luckily she was able to get a hold of Wayne so he could be with her."

He could still remember the sour scent in the room, nothing like the lovely way Steve smelled now. Even back then, he'd been in disbelief that there hadn't been anyone that locked him down. Not officially, anyway. And still hadn't. Then Eddie realized he could be the one.

"You know I always kinda wondered what happened to the guy and his kid. Glad I got to find out", he beamed. "Did you ever think about the mysterious alpha?"

"Honestly? Yes", Steve replied. During the worst of him and Billy, it would creep up from the back of his mind. "I didn't know anything about him besides the fact that he'd been there when I needed him. And sometimes I'd wonder if he was like that all the time."

Eddie leaned in a little. "And?"

"And, I found out he's been my son's teacher, guiding him through a formative year of his life incredibly well. He's better than I could have ever imagined."

Unable to help himself, Eddie grabbed Steve's face in a careful hold and kissed him. Steve answered with just the right amount of softness, but then pushed him down onto the couch. Eddie let out a small whimper when Steve pushed his leg between his, brushing against him. Steve grinned against his lips and sat up with a mischievous look.

"You took such good care of me. Time to return the favor."

"Holy shit", Eddie breathed out as he watched Steve slide down his body.

Steve unzipped the alpha's pants and opened them up, mouthing and licked at his cock through his boxers, getting it obscenely wet. Eddie was fully hard in record time. One hand gripped the back of the couch. Steve pulled him out and Eddie wasn't even able to look down as he felt that alluring heat surround him. He knew he'd cum instantly.

But the wet sounds on their own were too much too, so he finally ventured a look. It was a near mistake because the moment he did, his eyes met Steve's and he bucked into his mouth.

"Sorry! Sorry", he said, not meaning to choke the other.

Steve just smiled as he pulled off and licked his lips. "Can you do something for me?"

Eddie just nodded dumbly. Steve could ask him to commit arson. Not that he wouldn't do that anyway, but still.

Steve took the hand that wasn't clutching the couch and put it to his head. "Can you keep my hair out of my face?" He didn't wait for an answer as he put his mouth back on Eddie, sucking away.

Later on, Eddie would think about how the products in Steve's hair did a pretty good job of keeping his hair out of his face and that he'd asked for his own reasons. Eddie thought he was doing well though, fingers digging into his hair and holding it back while Steve went to town on his dick, moaning around it like he was desperate for it.

Eddie was right on the edge when Steve pulled off, suddenly remembering something. He stood up, ignoring the alpha's whines as he pulled him up.

"We've gotta go to the bedroom."

"Oh, yeah, hell yeah." Eddie was all for that.

Steve smirked as he led him by the wrist. He had just remembered that if he had sex with Eddie on the couch there was a chance Shawn would smell that as well. Fragrance spray could only cover so much.

Eddie was so sweet through the whole thing, seeming to not believe that he got to touch Steve like this. Steve encouraged him through the whole thing, wanting to be touched, wanting to be loved on and marked up.

-----------------

The next morning. Steve's alarm went off, reminding him that he had an alpha to get out of the house before his son got back home. In a flurry of clothes, Eddie got dressed. Steve threw on a robe that went down to his knees, preserving his modesty. He followed Eddie down the stairs, sharing about three kisses at the door before Eddie took off.

He pulled out of the driveway and left at nearly the same time that Robin could be seen walking Shawn from her house. At the last second Steve remembered the spray the living room and kitchen. He had just enough time to light a scented candle before Robin was walking in without knocking.

"The stork has come with your baby delivery~!"

"I'm not a baby", Shawn giggled.

"Oh but you'll always be my baby", Steve pinched his cheeks playfully. "Did you get breakfast yet?"

Shawn nodded. "We made our own smoothies!"

"Then you have just enough energy to finish up your homework", Steve decided.

Shawn tried to negotiate going to the park if he finished but Steve sent him on his way because he was seeing the look on his friend's face and thought it should not be addressed around the ears of children.

"I thought you were done slutting around", Robin grinned, eyeing the robe.

Steve rolled his eyes. "It's not slutting when it's just one guy and I'll take you to court on that. Let me shower and I'll tell you everything."

As he washed up, he thought briefly whether or not Shawn should know. He quickly decided that he would ask Eddie first if he wanted Shawn to know that they had actually met much earlier. Once out of the shower, he texted the question to him, understanding if the alpha wanted to keep it a secret for now.

Just because Eddie had been there for the birth of his child didn't mean this needed to suddenly turn serious. They certainly couldn't be too open about it when Shawn was still his student. Parents and staff would talk. And he didn't want his kid getting caught in the mix.

Eddie's reply came a couple of hours later, when they were at the park. Shawn had successfully negotiated.

Eddie: What do you want me to be for you and Shawn?

Part 7

Tag Team

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog @hippieg1rl420

[annymation]

Kingdom of Wishes- A "Wish" Rewrite AUs

AUs are Alternate Universes, new ways to look at how a story could've gone if a few things were slightly different, it's a fun writing exercise to take your story and change it up a bit to see how the characters would react to these changes.

So I did that with my wish rewrite, and I came up with some pretty fun scenarios.

(Warning: that’s a lie, some scenarios here are not fun at all)

So let's begin:

Asha the Star & Aster the Human

That's exactly what it sounds like, Asha and Aster switch places!

In this scenario, Aster is an orphan whose mother was a musician, that's right, musician, not an artist

His grandfather used to say his mother could sing so beautifully and write songs so engaging that people could see whole stories form in their heads, she inspired people to imagine whole new worlds

That was Aster's dream, to write beautiful melodies, sing a song that could inspire people, see beyond reality

So same things that happened with Asha happen to him, he defies the royals (Who also change in this AU, we have Amaya as a queen regnant, so she's above in power than Magnifico, she being the one who has blue blood while he got married in, and their personalities switch. To me that's the funniest thing, like can you imagine Amaya as the drama queen that get's the whole spotlight and has anger outbursts sometimes like the Red Queen and Maleficent? While Mag is in the background just being calm, mysterious and I guess having a fatherly persona? What a twisted vision)

Anyway so they take Aster's wish, change it up yada yada yada Aster goes to make a wish upon a star and we get Star Asha babeeeyyy

Now design wise, Aster as a human would have brown hair, while Asha, as all wishing stars, would have blonde hair, with this hair style

Loooooong blonde braids that flow in the air constantly like Princess Celestia hair from MLP, and speaking of princess, yeah, she dresses like one too.

Imagine being human Aster here, you wish upon a star and suddenly a beautiful magical princess with gorgeous flowing hair shows up to help you, I would've died

So anyway, Asha has a very energetic and optimistic personality, and much like Aster was in Kow, she's fascinated by earth

When they come up with a plan to inspire the people of Rosas, Asha's idea is to make people draw, express how they feel, make them reflect if they're really happy with this system

Aster of course thinks that's not a good idea at first but she convinces him, so the whole arc of them being found out at the plaza happens yada yada yada let's cut to the good stuff

Instead of giving Aster a magic pencil, Asha enchants his's grandfather's mandolin, so Aster can play beautiful songs that can magically bring anything he imagines to life

So then we get their "At All Cost"... But I actually think Star Asha would sing a different song, she'd sing something like this:

This song just gives me major Kow! Asha vibes, and I'd love if Asha was played by Denee Benton cause I'm a huge fan.

And then the story proceeds as usual and we get to the climax, where instead of singing This Wish Reprise he'd sing something more like this:

Once again, I'm here to say I love Jordan Fisher and I can't imagine anyone better than him to voice Aster.

So yeah he'd have a very dramatic song where instead of using his guitar (That the queen broke) he uses only his voice and the last bit of Asha's magic to defeat the royals, along with everyone's hopes on his side.

Sooo yeah Asha later turns into a human thanks to true love's kiss, her hair turns dark brown, the end!

I like exploring this one because it shows how Asha and Aster are different with her being an artist and him being a musician, human Aster would be very different than the Aster we know though, being absolutely focused on the task at hand of saving his people, so Asha would help him loosen up a bit and have hope things would be better.

Kids AU

Okay so this one is more of a joke, but like... Kingdom of Wishes... But it's Ponyo, only genderbent

Basically I asked myself "What if Asha wished upon Aster when she was a kid?" well, when she was a kid, so was Aster.

So we'd have a story of a little 6 year old becoming friends with her wishing star. While her grandpa Sabino, still alive and very old, tries to hide this star and protect his spunky granddaughter from the king and queen that are after Aster

Of course the royals would have a harder time finding out who could've wished upon a star since they don't know who Asha is as a kid

But on the other hand, Asha and Aster would be a lot more naive and reckless, Aster would tell Asha "Hey! The king and queen are really mean! They change the wishes, wanna defeat them together" and Asha would be like "YEAH!" and off they go put themselves in danger

Don't think Magnifico would go easy on Aster just because he's a toddler, oh no, he'd drain all this child's power as soon as he caught his hands on them, which is why Sabino would be having a panic attack trying to keep them safe.

But what's really cute about this scenario is just imagining kid Aster interacting with the world, using his magic to play with Asha, and of course Sabino being a protective grandpa.

Bad Ending AUs

You guys know me, of course I have a whole section for not one but TWO bad endings lmao I'm so evil.

What If Asha's Cursed Wish Was Granted?

Yup, remember Asha's cursed wish? That would turn her into a obedient princess that would follow Magnifico and Amaya without question? Remember that wish? Yeah what if THAT happened hahah

Anyway, I thinks it's best if I just show you how that'd play out (Warning, the angst is STRONG in this one):

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's right, now hold still my dear, this will feel just like waking up from a pleasant dream." The king said as he lifted up her "wish" to grant it.

Asha felt herself frozen in fear, she wanted to speak up, but the fear of what could happen to her if she did outweighed her her strength to fight back.

She could only watch as the bubble popped and became a swirl of green magic enveloping all around her. Asha felt herself change, and not only because her clothes began to magically morph into a beautiful dress... She felt herself change from the inside out, starting with her mind.

Her desire to run away was muffled by a new desire to stay still as the king asked her to. But Asha knew she had to fight back because- Why did she have to fight back? This is what she wanted, to fit in and make people happy, now she finally could, thanks to Magnifico- Asha heard a voice that sounded like her's fill up her mind, popping any idea of resistance like bubbles- Why resist at all? It's easier to give up- She couldn't give up, she couldn't lose herself- But she doesn't even know who she is, and everyone tells her she's like a princess anyway, don't they? Her saba used to say so, her friends, even Aster said she's beautiful like a princess-... Why isn't he here?

She felt her eyes welling up with tears, realizing how helpless and alone she was. Asha knew she couldn't hold on to her consciousness for much longer, as the king's magic promised to make all her pain go away, leaving only bliss, her own freewill was fading away. But even then, a little bit of her is still fighting, tightly clinging onto the last semblance of thought she has left... Before it suddenly slips, and everything is gone… She is gone.

... She did feel like she woke up from a dream, the king was right, as he always is.

The magic that was surrounding her disappears, fully absorbed into Asha's very being. She's now fully transformed, wearing a princess gown, her hair braided and pulled up into a bun that resembled a rose.

... A single tear ran down her left eye, but the cheering crowd couldn't see it. All they saw was her smile, a blissful, carefree smile plastered on her face.

...

Aster ran back to the plaza as fast as he could. But once the star arrived there... Asha was gone, and so were the royals. The people were walking around commenting about what just happened... He heard people mumbling about how kind the king and queen were for adopting an orphan girl to be their princess...

All it took was one moment, one moment of distraction, one moment that Aster turned away from her... And he lost her... But they wouldn't give up, never, as long as he's on this earth, he will grant her wish, her true wish, no matter the cost.

The star didn't even think twice, revealing his true form in front of everyone, and flying off to the castle to look for Asha.

He looked through all the windows, all the many rooms of the castle, until he stumbles upon a room on the west wing tower, and in there, sleeping peacefully on a comfortable bed, he saw-

"ASHA!" The star screamed, using his magic to unlock the window, he got in and quickly shook her to wake her up "Come on! We gotta get you outta here!"

The princess rose up from the bed, gracefully stretching her arms as she did so, blinking her now unfocused eyes, that if you look closely you could see a small and faint green light sparkling in the center of her pupils.

She smiled at the star as if they were paying her a visit "Greetings Aster, so wonderful to see you-"

Aster grabbed her by the shoulders and just shook her back and forth "SNAP OUT OF IT! This isn't you! You're stronger than his magic, I know you are! You can fight it! Come on, Asha, look at me!" Aster gently places a hand under her chin to make her look at him in the eyes, he can't see her spark anymore... But he still reaches out to her "You wished upon me because you wanted to SAVE Rosas from them, remember? That's the whole reason I'm here, to help you." they give her a bittersweet smile, even though he's filled with sadness.

The girl giggled, in any other context it would be an adorable sound... But it just filled Aster with dread, seeing how his words weren't getting through to her at all. But nothing could've prepared Aster to what she said next "... Then where were you when I needed?"

... Those words pierced through him like a dagger, the star was speechless, now just staring at her, filled with sorow

"Indeed, where were you?"

Aster froze upon hearing the king's voice coming from the other side of the room. He turned around to see both Magnifico and Amaya sitting on comfortable chair next to a table with tea, if Aster could smell he would've probably felt the sent earlier.

"You took so long we were starting to wonder if you just flew back to the sky" Amaya said before sipping on her tea cup

Aster tried to escape through the window, but before he could reach it, he was trapped by the king's magic.

Magnifico and Amaya laughed as the star struggled with all his might to free himself from the king's magic, to which the king just jeered "I suppose a princess was of use to us after all, serving as bait to catch you, little prince"

And just like that, Aster is all alone at the villains mercy.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I tricked yall with a false sense of security starting with two wholesome AUs only to then drop the most heart crushing stuff I've written in a WHILE.

Also thank you @gracebeth3604 for inspiring me to write that scene of Asha losing her conscience as the spell took hold of her, when you helped me write that nightmare sequence in chapter 8... So yall can blame Grace for this /j

Aster Turns Himself Into A Blackhole

What a title huh? Anyway, I've said plenty of times how Aster is very inspired by Rapunzel, so I wondered, what if that "Wither and decay" song from the Tangled series affected Aster the same way that it affected Rapunzel?

I didn't quite explore much Aster's frustration with the fact he couldn't hurt the king and queen the same way they hurt Asha, that's kind of a more internal frustration he doesn't show much, but it proves how human Aster is, to the point that he feels human emotions such as vengeance

But as we say here in Brazil: "Revenge is never complete, it kills the soul and poisons it."

So... Let's see if Aster choose a darker path, after he thought that he lost Asha for good in the climax.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aster was chained to the floor, all he could do was watch in horror the king drop Asha and all their friends off the tower.

... She was gone...

Just like that, Aster couldn't keep her safe, like he promised he would.

Without her, Aster felt his world growing dark, his own light was fading away. There was no hope for him, no hope for Rosas, no hope of granting her wish... So... Aster had nothing... So he had nothing left to lose.

... The star remembered once listening to a song, a song that stars sing when they're at the very end of their long, LOOOOONG lives. After all, everything must come to an end. The lyrics of this song were actually an incantation, a spell of death that allowed a star to snuff their own light away, turning themselves into... Something else... Something a lot more destructive.

The stars always warned him to NEVER sing that melody. And fly away as fast as he could if he ever heard some other star singing it... Aster never knew fully why, all they said was that the song would make him dangerous...

Well then... That was just what Aster wanted to be right now.

Suddenly, Aster felt the touch of the queen's hand, snapping them out of their thoughts. She lifted his scowling face, to give him a snark comment before they began to drain away his power "What's with the grimace, my dear? Is there something you wish to say?"

And so... The star began to sing.

"🎶... Wither and decay...🎶" Aster's voice was haunting, not at all as warm and lively as it always was when he sang... This was different.

Magnifico was previously looking down on his people, but the sound of those lyrics made the king turn around in cold sweat... He knew that spell.

"🎶...End this destiny...🎶" Aster continued to sing, his eyes were closed, and his face began to contort with discomfort. The star felt himself... Change.

The queen just raised an eyebrow and mocked "What's this? Trying to put us to sleep with a lullaby? hahaha *cough cough* haha" She didn't seem to pay much mind to her own coughing

The king minded it a lot though. He could see the roses on Amaya's hair begin to wither rapidly.

Magnifico's voice was trembling as he ran to his wife "A- Amaya-"

"🎶...Break these earthly chains...🎶" Aster opened his eyes... They were completely dark.

The queen's blood ran cold "wh-what ON EARTH-" she feels herself being pulled away from the star by her husband.

"ENOUGH! I ORDER YOU TO STOP!" The king commands, using his magic to cover Aster's mouth with glowing vines similar to the ones holding him down... But the star... Or rather, whatever Aster is becoming, is not weak to forbidden magic.

Aster breaks free from Magnifico's magic, leaving the two royals mortified.

"🎶…And set the spirit free…🎶" Aster didn't even react to the fact he was free, in fact, they didn't seem to notice the world around him at all, lost in their despair, all they could do was sing, floating above the ground. Tears kept running down his now inky black eyes.

Their hair changes from a yellow and lively flame to a dark and slowly shifting shadow. The star dust flowing out of their cape disappears, now his cape hides only dark nothingness under it. The light coming from the brooch bellow his neck now resembles a vortex... A blackhole.

"Magnus... I thought you said this thing was harmless" The queen is clinging to her king, she begins to feel... Strangely lightheaded, like she’s about to pass out.

"I- I didn't think the star would do this- *cough!*" The king feels a pain in his chest, his legs growing weaker. He stumbles forward "We- we must leave NOW"

But Aster had other plans for them, the former star finally moved. In the blink of an eye the king and him were face to face. With one swift motion Aster took the king's staff and threw it away from the edge of the tower.

The royals were shaking in fear, the entity was towering over them, dark inky tears still flooding his expressionless face.

As a last resort, Magnus desperately tries to reason with them "He-hehe now now Aster, let's talk about this, alright? You wouldn't actually want to-"

"🎶Take what has been hurt🎶" The haunting melody continues.

The king and queen kneeled down. They felt weaker by the second, the queen was whimpering and the king was gasping for air. It was becoming hard to breathe, hard to move, hard to think. They were both holding on to each other, even though they could barely hold on to their own lives.

"🎶Grant them no mercy🎶" Aster was looming over the two mortals, staring at them as they withered away. Aster felt himself grow stronger, for he was slowly but surely absorbing their very life essence... The corners of his mouth started to lift up slightly.

The two villains collapsed on the ground, shaking and wincing in pain.

"🎶Bend and break the reigns🎶" He was previously emotionless, but now, seeing them like this, Aster is consumed by a feeling he never thought he could feel before... It was ruthlessness. He was enjoying seeing the life drain away from them, the same way they wanted to drain his life away before... In a way, Aster understands them now.

The power to take was really different from the power to give... But if felt just as good, if not better.

"🎶And set the spirit free... The spirit free~...🎶" Aster finishes the lyrics, looking at the two lifeless bodies below him with twisted glee.

... Asha arrived at the top of the tower, as she never actually died, she managed to save herself and her friends with her magic pencil, and with it, she made her way back to Aster, hopeful that she could save him in an nick of time

"Aster! I'm here! Are you o-" She felt her heart stop, her whole body frozen in place when she saw the corpses of the two royals laying down... Beneath a floating figure that looks like Aster... But she knows that's not him "What... What have you done?" Asha takes a few steps back

He doesn't seem at all surprised to see her alive and well, simply tilting his head to the side as he floats towards her "What I had to. I mean, that's what you wished for, right? To defeat them." The creature spoke calmly, but with a twisted smile spread across their features.

"No-not like THIS!" She was trembling, seeing her own reflection on the dark pools that he now has for eyes "A-Aster please, this isn't funny, turn back to normal, NOW"

"Hmmmmm I don't think I can" They shrug, while drying the tears that were previously falling from his eyes "And even if I could, why should I? When like this, I can actually keep you safe"

"... Keep me safe from what?" She felt tears welling up on the corner of her eyes, Aster couldn't really be gone, right?

He embraced her, but it wasn't the same warm and secure embrace Asha fell in love with... He was holding her tightly, not letting her run away.

"From anyone who tries to keep us apart, of course." The blackhole whispered lovingly, but that gave Asha no comfort, it only cemented her fear, sending chills down her spine "And as long as your wish doesn't come true... As long as aaaaall those people down there aren't free... I'll be able to stay here... Loving you... Forever." They sound more and more deranged with every word.

Asha felt trapped, in the arms of the one she once loved.

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I bet ya'll weren't expecting evil Aster... Welp! Evil Aster is a thing now.

This is probably the darkest thing I’ve ever wrote for real, don’t let me do this again yall

@uva124 actually sneaked a little drawing of this Aster in one of her sketches here

So yeah! These were the alternate AUs! Two wholesome ones, and two very heavy with no comfort ones, perfectly balanced as all things should be.

Hope you guys forgive me after this hahaha see you guys next time! Bye!

Thank you for reading!

[maybank-archives]

Reader and JJ are in a relationship despite her father telling her to stay away from him. One day she gets a call from Sarah or Kiara that he’s in the hospital- his dad beat him within an inch of his life. Luckily her dad is somewhere on the mainland for the next two weeks so she can sneak out. She doesn’t leave his bedside for anything but using the bathroom until he can leave the hospital. Maybe he’s in surgery when she gets there, and/or has to have emergency surgery, maybe his heart stops a few times from like internal bleeding or something.

by your side - jj maybank

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warning: a tiny angst

word count: 0.4k

author's notes: i'm back! since kinktober i took a little break just to organize some personal/work related things but i'm back! this is one of my late request that i didn't posted on october bc of the kinktober works but now it can see the light of the day! hope yall like this! love ya :)

masterlist | join the taglist |

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The hospital room was eerily silent, so quiet you could've heard a pin drop. All you could hear was the steady beeping of the machines scattered around JJ's room. JJ looked like he'd been in a fight with a truck. The amount of bruises on his face and body was seriously scary. I took a seat in a chair right next to JJ's bed, gripping his hand like my entire world depended on it.

I’ve been glued to his side since I got the call from Sarah a day ago. I rushed to the hospital immediately, my heart was heavy with fear. I knew how shitty Luke Maybank was, but I would never imagine he could do something like this. When I saw JJ I collapsed into Kie’s arms, it was painful to see him like this.

I guess having a rough relationship with our father was like an invisible connection between me and JJ. Right after my dad found out about my relationship with JJ, I had been “forbidden” to see him, no matter how much I argued, my dad insisted on making the same stupid comments about how low-class, worthless, and dirty pogues are.

I couldn’t care less about his opinion, JJ and the rest of the pogues have been my family more than my actual family, and that’s why no matter what happened, I’m not going anywhere.

The door to the room swung open, the doctor entered with Pope, John B, Sarah, and Kie right behind him.

“You must be the persistent girlfriend, huh?.” He said picking J’s chart. “Well, he suffered severe internal bleeding, and his heart stopped a few times during the procedure. We managed to stabilize him, but, he'll need time to recover.” 

I nodded feeling the tears welled up in my eyes. Kie reached your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“We will keep him under our watch until he’s better.” He added heading towards the door “He will be fine, kids.”

“Thank you,” I whispered sobbing.

“C’mon J, hang in there.” John B said with his eyes watering as well.

I sank my face into my hands; my mind was frantic, I kept reminding myself to take deep breaths to control my anxiety. 

I step out of the bedroom and head to the bathroom, I splash water on my face trying to stop the crying, I suddenly realize I haven’t left JJ’s bedroom since yesterday, Sarah and Kie were alternating bringing you food and water but besides that, you just sat there. 

When I walked back into the bedroom, I saw Pope, John B, Sarah, and Kie, all crashed out on the couch. I took my seat again, holding JJ's hand, as I got comfortable in the chair, I felt JJ’s hand twitch. I snapped my head in his direction, and there he was, slowly fluttering his eyes open.

“You're here,” he said with a weak smile crossing his lips.

My eyes welled up with tears, but I couldn't hide my own relieved grin as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Of course, I am," I murmured.

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✧˚ . taglist ˚✧ (join here): @loverofmarsss | @jjmaybankisbae

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© maybank-archives 2023 — no one has permission to copy or translate any of my works, if you see any of my work being reproduced in another platform please contact me! :)

[arlerts-angel]

🖤⛓️🔞 | 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐨𝐥. 2: 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭

a/n: lowkey not digging this one but i wrote it so 😗✌️anyways here's my kinktober masterlist ❤️

cw: canonverse (s4), armin's a virgin, oral sex (male receiving), cum eating, penetrative sex (piv)

taglist: @callm3senpaii @la-undercover-latina @arlertwitch @arlertdarling @millennialmagicalgirl @ringsofsaturnnnn @i-literally-cant-with-this @daddydynamight @darkstarlight82 @softlilpeachxx @tomuraslut @nigthmar3moon @dilfkentolover

neither of you could've imagined a simple question leading to the two of you sneaking off from your duties as scouts, but here you were, in a crowded closet with armin's cock in your–

previously...

"do you mind helping me? i can't seem to buckle this strap down." you ask your cute comrade, armin. "anything for you." he smiles and obliges, crouching down to fidget with a strap that lays across your thigh. you can tell he's starting to get flustered as he cracks nervous jokes. "i guess there's no tying you down, huh?"

he's touching all up on your thigh, mere inches away from your slice of heaven, he thinks. he looks up at you, his face flushed red. you can't help but feel kind of bad for him. "are you alright? if you can't get it don't worry about it–" you stop midway, noticing the bulge in his pants as he stands up.

"i-i think you may need a new one. s-sorry–" he stutters. you stand, noticing the bulge in his pants. "i think you may need a new one if you don't take care of that uh–heh." his eyes widen and his face turns beet red. "shit–! i'm sorry... i can't help it."

"but i can. let's go, we can tell captain levi that we were looking for a new one if anyone notices we're gone." you whisper, rubbing your hands on his chest. "i want to, more than anything, but maybe we should—" you cut him off with a kiss.

"alright, you've convinced me. let's go." he grabs your face gently and kisses you once more, his desire for you burning through his lips onto yours. he pulls away, leading you to a supply closet. "are you sure this place is okay? not very–"

you cut him off again, pressing your finger to his lips. "do you want this?" you ask nervously, looking into his eyes as you await his answer. he nods and responds quickly. "of course i do, i've been waiting for this for so long..." he kisses you and removes every piece of fabric around his waist, revealing his cock to you. "holy shit–" you revel at the sight of his length and his red, leaky tip. you fall to your knees and wrap your hand around his cock, taking the tip between your lips.

"ohhh fuck–" he gasps, grabbing onto anything nearby to keep himself steady. you bob your head and suck his virgin cock. "o-oh god, that feels so good... too good– ahhh–!" as he moans, you feel his cock twitch, then thick, warm strands of cum coat your mouth. you rise and kiss him, indulging in the mixture of his flavors.

"we have to be quick" you say, removing your pants and underwear. he nods eagerly, stroking his cock to make himself hard again. you position yourself in front of him and help him ease his cock into you, earning soft whines and "oh fuck"s from him. as uncomfortable as the position is, he's able to hit your sweet spot with ease as he thrusts his cock into you. "you feel so good around my cock" he breathes. your walls tighten around him as you get closer to cumming. "ah fuck–!" armin pulls out quickly and cums on your lower back. you finish yourself off soon after. "you okay? too much for your first time?" you ask as you both put your pants back on. "it was great, and i promise i'll get better if you give me the chance." he says bashfully. "i'll hold you up to that, arlert." you smile and nudge him as you walk out of the closet together.