#this is an attempt at pacing myself with uploads

[renzypretzy]

sky siblings, plus martyn and grian. I was doodling these while listening to martyn’s lore stream video thingies on his yt. Its so cool and fun that he has those streams and makes lore with fans.

[chaotic-birds]

fluffy Jason thought

if you like run your fingers through his hair, especially when he’s sleepy, he’ll kiss your palms and wrists. Especially after an argument, it’s like his silent little apology before the actual words (kinda like he’s hyping himself up in a way)

I love soft!Jason so much :,)

soft!Jason owns my heart. thank you for sending this in!!! my writing is a little rusty, but I had fun writing this so i hope you enjoy!

this is also uploaded on mobile so sorry if the formatting is weird. if it is, i’ll fix it later 😖

TW none | WC ~500 | G angst, fluff, h/c

masterlist

It didn’t take long for you to realize Jason Todd is not used to being loved.

He’s not used to the gentle touches or the soft voices.

But he tries to be.

He tries for you.

Jason’s head lays on your lap, eyes closed as he focuses on the feeling of your fingers threading through his dark hair. The slow motions bring comfort to his fast-paced life. It steadies his breathing and allows his body to sink deeper into the couch cushions.

Although Jason is becoming sleepier, he can’t bring himself to rest. Not when he snapped at you last night. Not when he knows the origin of his frustrations came from his self-hatred that he made you so scared for his well-being.

Jason reaches up to grab the hand that’s been playing with his hair and guides it to his mouth. He places tender kisses on each knuckle. Each time his mouth touches your skin, he can hear the echo of his words he had said to you.

Words that he regrets saying.

“I don’t need you worrying about me all the damn time.”

“I’m not a fucking child, and you’re not my fucking mother.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I can take care of myself. Been doing it for years, darlin’.”

“How about you worry about someone else?”

Jason kisses the inside of your wrist and lets his lips linger on your warm skin.

Skin that he loves to feel against his. Skin from the person he loves so much that it scares him.

Scares him because what happens if your skin becomes cold forever. What if…

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

Your hand cups his face, angling it so his blue eyes connect with yours.

“I know, Jayce. I forgive you.”

Jason’s lips twitch in a failed attempt to smile.

He should have never gotten mad about you caring for him.

If you were the one stumbling home after a bad fight, bruised and bleeding, he’d be fretting over you too. Hell, he’d probably react in more extreme ways.

“I’ll try not to worry so much,” you say.

Jason shakes his head. “I don’t want you to, but I understand why you do. I… I worry about you too.”

You smile, nodding. “I’m glad you do.”

Tilting his head, he questions, “You are?”

“Yup,” you reply. “It means you care.”

Jason’s eyes flicker from yours.

He knows he cares about you. He’d give his life for you. He’d take all the pain in the world if it meant you were unharmed.

But if he’s willing to do that because he cares about you, does that mean you’d do the same because you care about him?

Jason leans his head into your palm that’s still against his cheek as he lulls over the thought.

He’s not used to feeling loved. He’s not used to your soft touches and soothing voice.

But he’s trying.

Because deep down in his heart, he wants to be.

He wants to be loved.

He wants to be loved by you.

[yuurei20]

Riddle Info Compilation part 13: Riddle and Azul (pt1)

Riddle is not a very big fan of Azul, actively attempting to avoid him when he sees them in the hallway at school (“I would like to avoid him at all costs, so let us slow our pace”).

During Beanfest Riddle notices that Azul is very well-equipped very early in the game and demands an explanation.

Azul reveals that he blackmailed members of the event committee into sharing the locations of the different equipment, and that Riddle himself is the only reason he was able to acquire the field scanner: when Vargas tried to remove it from the game (“sneaky gadgets have no place in Beanfest!”) Riddle argues that “there are plenty of students on this campus who aren’t physically inclined, but still put forth a diligent effort in PE. The rules for Beanfest are already overwhelmingly skewed in favor of athletic students as it is…if students like myself have our tactical options removed, then the best strategy for us to bolster our grades would be to find a hiding place and spend the whole day in it. The point of the Beanfest games isn’t to establish who the best athlete is. It’s to have a school wide PE activity in which everyone can fully participate. And for that, I say we need the field scanner!”

Impressed by the explanation, Vargas agrees to keep the field scanner in the game.

In order to not incur a debt to Riddle, Azul volunteers to let him go rather than capture him (Azul immediately sends Jack after him, but Riddle is saved by Vil’s group).

We get a hint that Riddle may have a secret respect for Azul during Spectral Soiree when he gives an “impassioned speech” in response to a possessed Azul who seems to have the opposite personality to Azul himself.

Azul and Riddle are quick to bicker during Book 6, with Azul teasing Riddle about his inability to play video games and Riddle insisting that he is not "bad," merely inexperienced.

After Azul performs better than Riddle at the same game Riddle insists upon practicing until he is able to clear the level without incurring any damage and Jamil comments, “so much for being above such things.”

Riddle successfully clears the level and Azul observes, “I understand the entertainment value of game playthroughs much better now. The way Riddle would scream when he got hit right before he was about to clear the stage…”

(Riddle’s VA regularly uploads video-game playthroughs to YouTube. He doesn't appear on camera very often anymore but he would in earlier videos, such as this playthrough of Late Night Mop where he loses his computer mouse.)

[jinmukangwrites]

Hey apologies for the lack of anything being uploaded on Tumblr. I've been working my BUTT off at nanowrimo and this is the first time I've genuinely felt like I've beat it

This year, I wrote a story that challenged me. I wrote in the perspective of a character who I normally wouldn't write, I attempted writing in a style I normally wouldn't write in, and I attempted a pace that I would usually consider slow.

I fell in love with my characters. Yeah I changed their names, their perspective, their backstory, as I went, but that's what I really enjoyed about my mindset going into this nanowrimo. I decided two days ago that I wanted my main character to have a pet cat, so I added the cat like he'd always been there, leaving a note for when I work on the next draft.

I think my biggest lesson learned this year is that rough drafts don't matter. Like, for real. Not a single word that I wrote this month mattered. It felt so freeing to not worry about that. When I got stuck on a sentence, I shrugged and plowed on. When I noticed a plot hole, I shrugged and plowed on. When I noticed the story had paced too slow, I shrugged and skipped ahead, when I noticed I didn't like writing in first person anymore, I shrugged and changed back to third.

It's an ugly mess in my scrivener files, but I love it. I'm proud of myself. Maybe, someday I'll work on polishing this story and see about getting it published, but for now, I'm a proud nanowrimo 2022 winner :)

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

For the fic asks: 1, 3, 4!

1. What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

oh you’ll love this. the first fic i ever wrote was a gundam wing/sailor moon crossover that i wrote out by hand in pencil on looseleaf in a green three-ring binder before painstakingly typing it up and uploading all twelve or so chapters to FFNet in one go. because FFNet is the most stable site in existence it does still exist there, which is how i rediscovered a while back that it came in at something like forty-three thousand words, which is not bad considering that i was like, thirteen.

i did some additional dabbling in sailor moon & maybe a few others, but i would say gundam wing was definitely my first real Fandom in that i read for it a ton and wrote another three and a half fics for it (with that half being, like, a lot), and also in that when i look at the stuff i wrote for it, i can see with somewhat humiliating clarity the very obvious seeds of some concepts and themes that i continue to feel compelled by - in particular the last big fic which i never finished was very much in part an early attempt, in like eighth grade, to answer the question “what do you do when you keep living after you were supposed to die?” which is a persistent theme of both things i’ve written (not just fic) and things i’ve gotten obsessed with. it’s a real chicken and the egg situation whether gundam wing permanently imprinted that question on my brain (the show, IMO and IIRC, broaches it on a couple different occasion but ultimately never spends enough time in any kind of aftermath that it comes up with an answer), or whether there was already something there in that question for me and that’s why as a person with really zero interest in giant robot fighting shows i got obsessed with gundam wing.

3. Do you write fics from start to finish, or jump around?

i used to be verrrry strict about going from start to finish, because often with a project of any length i’ve been writing towards some kind of final image or idea that compelled me enough to figure out how i could get there, and i feel like if i eat the carrot too soon i’ll get off the hamster wheel and the story will never actually be finished. i think i also tend to have a fear that if i jump past the place where i don’t know what goes next, i’ll just never figure it out. i’m trying to cultivate more flexibility around this and convince myself that building up words is a good thing even if it leaves me with gaps i have to fill in, but it requires some degree of deliberate effort.

4. Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

i would say i usually start writing without an outline, and then at some point hit a kind of critical mass where i feel like i need to make an outline in order to continue because i need to sort of feel the shape of the thing i’m writing. i think very consciously about cause/effect, character, and the general problem of how to get from one thing to the next, but i work out the structure much more intuitively - my first incarnation of an outline will usually be a mix of scenes i know i need or want in there, and placeholders for scenes that i suspect will be necessary in order to get the pacing right or give it enough room to breathe or keep a thread alive between larger developments, etc. so my outlines are pretty undetailed and tentative (lots of things like “julia - hedge talk maybe?” and “idk some kind of spellcraft thing here?” and “eliot feelings convo”), and the idea of straying from them is, like, well there’s not really that much to stray from. the main ways that i’ve deviated from outlines are (this is constant) situations where i realized i needed more scenes to do something properly, and times when i’ve incorrectly problem-solved the first time and had to go back and re-do something that wasn’t working. i have yet to write a fic where it turns into substantially different (as opposed to just… much, much larger) than whatever i had in mind by the time i jotted down an outline.

[tomorrowandstilltomorrow]

A Love Letter To Content Creation

Recently, on my main channel, I released a video after a four month hiatus due to school, and after I released that video, I soon after got a comment that said

“Man you make the best genshin related content. please never quit”

And like that’s definitely not true; there are some amazing content creators in the lore circle, and even better content creators outside of that small circle, but that doesn’t change the fact that this comment, and ones similar, are the prime examples of why I make content. It’s not because people look up to me, it’s not because it makes me feel “famous,” it’s because, the fact that somebody thought to write a comment like that, something so positive and encouraging, means that they enjoyed the thing that I made. I made somebody’s day just a little bit better. And that means everything to me. 

I have been making content online for the majority of my life. I remember recording Minecraft Lets Plays when I was in the fourth grade. Granted, they never actually made it online, but they were recorded with the express intention of ending up there. And I remember recording those not because I wanted to be famous like my favorite Let’s Players, I recorded those because I wanted to make others feel the same joy and wonder and warm comfort that my favorite Let’s Players made me feel. 

I remember making little dumb improv-skits with my friends in the basement of one of their houses. We recorded these little skits on my old iPod touch. Obviously they were dumb and filled with the humour of elementary schoolers, but we still made them because they were so endlessly entertaining for us, especially when we captured something that got us keeling over in laughter for minutes on end. And it was the idea of spreading this laughter, making somebody chortle, or even making somebody smirk imperceptibly, made me want to make and record even more, dumber skits with my friends. 

I remember, when I was in fifth grade, trying to start a channel that is lost to the currents of the internet where I uploaded a video welcoming hypothetical viewers to my channel. My parents found out quickly, because I didn’t realize YouTube emailed you when a video successfully went up. They, rationally, did not like that their very young child was uploading his own face to the internet, and told me to take it down. I cried because I “wanted to make people smile.” I took the video down. 

I remember figuring out how to edit in Windows Movie Maker. I cut together a crude minecraft let’s play over the course of a few hours. It wasn’t good, but I learned that I enjoyed editing. There was something cathartic and relaxing about sifting through footage and cutting together the interesting parts. I learned that making a video is almost like writing a book, where you have to properly pace the video to where your viewer won’t get bored, and you can’t just show the viewer what’s happening. You have to do more to the video, just like in writing you have to do more to the prose to make it good. Those things I couldn’t do with Windows Movie Maker, so I observed the things you could do with good editing software from the content creators I watched at the time, and internalized it. 

I remember when I was first getting into watching people livestream, and I thought to myself that I could do the same thing. I tried to download streaming software onto my computer that could barely play most of the games that I was into at the time, much less process and encode video at the same time, and attempted to stream. It didn’t work out, obviously, and that made me very sad. I wanted to play games with people, and my computer didn’t enjoy that. So I told myself that in the future I would stream once I had a computer that was powerful enough. 

And when I finally was old enough for my parents to be okay with me putting content on the internet, when I had access to slightly better video editing software, when I finally bought a computer that was able to record and livestream games, I felt so free. I was finally able to do what I wanted. So I got to recording and streaming right away. I learned how to use OBS, I learned Davinci Resolve, I learned how to use Twitch, and I was always looking to play games with friends so I could record or stream, and when we were done playing, I practiced editing my vods down in a way that was funny or highlighted the stuff that we did. 

And so I did that for a while. Played stupid games with my friends, did stupid things, sometimes recorded it, and edited the vods down. My goal was to emulate people like SovietWomble, trying to use subtitles for comedic effect. I got okay at it, it was just the fact that pacing the videos wasn’t really my strong suit. And I had fun. A lot of fun. 

Then Covid hit. Lockdown was hard on all of us, and while I had practically no work to do in any of my classes, I decided that I wanted to make some more videos. The first idea I came up with was to do a game review of a random free game I got on steam, called Deiland. Really, that video is what started it all for me and the content that I make now, but it was kind of my soft start, because that video was still bad, my voiceover was uncomfortable and quiet with little expression, and the visuals were nonexistent. I wasn’t really passionate about that video. So I kept throwing things at the wall, waiting for something to stick. 

That’s where I made my longest scripted video to date, BDG Unraveled, where I went through every BDG video in sequence because he’s a creator I look up to, and I love his work, and I saw a few tentative connections throughout his work that I thought would make an interesting video. So I did, and it’s then that I really figured out my style of scripting and narration. Shortly after that I did another video about critical role, and then I started playing a weird little game called Genshin Impact. 

And from here the story is quite simple. I made a dumb video presenting a theory I thought had a little bit of ground, but not a whole lot, and then put it together and threw it out there. I made this video because I had always wanted to get into a game that had that certain style of storytelling that’s perfect for theories. Slowly drip-feeding you information to where you slowly build up an understanding of the world of the story, while also being engineered to constantly leave you with question after question for more and more theories. I grew up watching Game Theory and the Five Nights at Freddy's theories (pretty much where that style of storytelling got its most substantial level of awareness) and so I’ve always wanted to involve myself in a community that had a story like that. When I started playing Genshin, I soon started to learn that’s what this game had, and I also learned that I was very early in. At the time, really the only person that I knew that was doing any sort of lore on the game was Teyvat Historia. It was an untapped market. So I made the video, and it was successful. 

I found a game I loved with a story that I loved where I could make content in a form that I loved. It was the perfect combination at the perfect time. And now I’m at a point where I have been making genshin content for two years now. I have done seventy-five Sunday streams, where I get to hang out with my viewers, and I get to see the thing I have always dreamed of doing: making people’s day. Entertaining people. Making people’s lives that much better and more comfortable. I have gotten to make some amazing videos, I have gotten to go crazy over a game that has had twist after twist in its story. I have gotten to make some amazing friends in the form of the people that make the same content as I, as well as the people that chill in my streams and watch regularly. 

But I think content creation has had a much bigger impact on my life, beyond what I just listed, and that’s really why I wrote this letter. Content creation has become a constant in my life. It has become something I can always turn to when I am bored, or struggling with something in life, or when I want to feel accomplished in something. It’s something that I can always do. It’s something that will never go away. Whenever I upload a video, or press “go live,” I know that somebody will see it, or somebody will tune in, and I can entertain, even if it’s one person. And that alone makes my day, and it makes me feel better. 

And because of that positive feedback loop, content creation has helped me become much more confident in myself. I am much more verbose, articulate in my points, confident with myself both online and in real life, whereas before I was shy both to introduce myself to real people, or to start talking in online communities and insert myself into one. I have become a much better leader, writer, organizer, and I can carry a conversation because that’s what streaming is at its core. It’s one person carrying a one-sided conversation, which requires a very strong stream of consciousness, and streaming has helped me develop that stream of consciousness. It’s a skill a lot of people don’t have. 

That’s really why I wanted to write this letter–because two years later, I have become a better person just because I decided to make videos about a funny game, and because people decided to watch me talk about a funny game. It has changed my life. 

Thank you guys for two years of Genshin Content :) 

[snaurus]

UPDATE: GDocs Batch 1

Between writing projects, I've decided as a change of pace to resume updating my GDocs library. While I'm confident in Archive of Our Own's longevity, I'm a squirrel at heart and prefer to have backups for my backups for my backups. It's also been shared with me that some readers prefer having fanfiction stored on there for ease of availability (such as in the rare case AO3 is inaccessible).

My immediate goal is to upload all my AO3 and FFNet stories on there so they're in one place. Next, I'd like to include any works in progress that I've discontinued for various reasons and anything that I may have removed from my online spaces. In the long term, I'll be rewriting and editing every completed story, no matter its age, for the sake of posterity. Most of these things will eventually make it onto AO3, such as the improved versions of my stories, but I hate getting ahead of myself! Once I catch GDocs up, it'll be easier for me to concentrate on other platforms.

As of today, 11/01/2022, all 33 of my Kingdom Hearts stories and every instance where I wrote for a single fandom have been uploaded to my GDocs account. This includes: Gouhou Drug (Legal Drug), Trinity Blood, Transformers: Generation One, Penguins of Madagascar, The Bouncer (Video Game), Yoroiden Samurai Troopers (Ronin Warriors), FolksSoul (Folklore), Mobile Suit Gundam Wing, Psychonauts, Transformers: War for Cybertron, The Big Bang Theory, Hades (Video Game), Sex Pistols (Love Pistols) as crossovered with Hetalia: Axis Powers, Storm Hawks, Shimotsuma Monogatari (Kamikaze Girls), Transformers: Shattered Glass, Final Fantasy VII as crossovered with Final Fantasy X-2, and Final Fantasy XIII as crossovered with Final Fantasy X/X-2.

There are some other stories that don't fit those perimeters that are already present from my previous attempts that I won't mention here. And I ask that Transformers fans please pardon the mess while I organize the folder better. When I first started this project years ago, I initially dumped them together, which looks confusing now due to the sheer volume of them. 😅 As I work my way through the different TF universes I will condense them further and combine them per series to make browsing easier.

Next batch will logically be me adding fandoms with 2-5 listings under them, and possibly all of Final Fantasy XV. To keep my health in check, I try and alternate between the smallest and largest ones. Kingdom Hearts was a bit of a test to see how I'd fair doing a huge chunk in one sitting and it was kind of a reality check, hah hah! I had to take frequent breaks, so we'll have to wait and see how I do next time.

[plantcrazy]

Update - THSC & FNAF - 11/01/23

'Ello guys, just a small update to keep everyone up to date on how stuff's going.

THSC - Lost Children

I've been feeling a little burnt out since my last chapter upload (I think I went a bit too hard on getting so many chapters out in such little time, lol), so I haven't been pushing myself. I've found for me, the best way to recover from burn out is to not force myself to do something, & let my mind wander back to it when it's ready.

I've been feeling better the last couple of days, and I've found myself daydreaming some cool alt versions of some upcoming chapters, so I've started work on refining the order & pacing of chapters for part 2.

Progress is looking like this (+ some on the side for part 3's start):

Part 2 is currently 22 chapters without Reginald's storyline, so likely high 20's to low 30's once I work his in. Pacing is feeling good, and I've got a few fun twists worked in >:)

For those who want to know when part 1 will be done, it's once I finish this for part 2, as this is the stage where I make sure foreshadowing is in & make any needed last minute adjustments. E.g. the ending chapter of part 1 is now moving to the start of part two, & I'm removing the character's knowledge of X happening, so instead, X happing will be the inciting incident for part 2.

Again, still feeling a little burnt out, so I'm working on it as I feel like it/ ideas come to me.

FNAF - Glitched Arcade

This is what I've mostly been working on while resting my burnt out thsc brain :P

Lots & lots of research (I've got like... 30 Reddit tabs open & my laptop ain't particularly please, lol). I've also been bushing up on the games. Yesterday I dived into FNAF AR, & learned the game none ever remembers has important lore to FNAF SB. Who would've guessed?

I also discovered I lost my original notes from 2021 for my version of Security Breach T T

I remember a little, enough to know what direction I wanted to take it & some of the MAJOR things I wanted to work in, like making it so non-book readers (, like myself), don't have to read X books & novels to understand the plot. (I'm looking at you, Ruin. I was so confused when that DLC came out, I had to watch like... 4 explanation/theory videos on the Mimic before it clicked).

I also want to bring back the classic '5 nights', give ALL the animatronics that happy save-everyone-ending we were all robbed of, use Vanny like the trailer said she was going to be & address 'The Arcade Conspiracy'. I know the arcade thing was big 'cause the story name I have down is 'Glitched Arcade', and I have some rough memories of it playing a major role.

Also do want to stress this, because I've been in this fandom 7 YEARS. I'm one of the OLD fans. I joined right after the release of FNAF 4, and with this said, I KNOW what some of you guys are like, & I don't want none of that arguing nor toxicity here.

Glitched Arcade is MY STORY, and I will NOT BE MAKING IT CANON TO THE GAMES OR BOOKS, NOR ATTEMPTING TO.

This is MY take on the story, basing it on my theories and those I love, correct or not. I'm here to tell my story & have fun, to write something which makes sense in its own continuity.

Glitched Arcade is MY re-write of FNAF Security Breach. It's my AU.

So, I'm sorry if I don't agree with your theories, timelines or what not, but this is my story & if it's not for you, that's fine. Please leave quietly & I hope you find something which is for you.

With that out the way, storywise, I've been working on the Daycare Attendants storyline. I have some pretty neat ideas for them, especially answering that big old question of: Why? Why are they- particularly Moon -so important? Also, I love this idea I have for HOW the virus works in them, & the mysteries behind them. Just all those question we want answered: Why is Sun scared of Moon? Is Moon evil? Is he doing this voluntarily, or just another virus victim? How did they go from theatre robots to daycare ones?

All that good stuff >:)

I don't have any finalised art YET, but I do have this cool concept I'll share as an early teaser.

Aside for Sun & Moon's designs (who I'm changing for a story reason), I am generally happy with the other animatronic designs. So, I might stylise the proportions a little & simplify their designs for easy comic-making, but otherwise I think I'll leave them alone (or maybe I'll make some small changes to show a visual 'this ain't fnaf sb' thing). *Shrugs* I'll think on it more :P

[jaythelay]

It's a larp we all play where the title "youtuber" infers alot.

But in the case of a god damned murder.

it's just a dude who uploaded to youtube.

Who gives a SHIT about your perspective.

I even tried myself, like, what if Markplier turned out to be a murderer? How would I feel, how does that affect people, and you know, I'd make a tumblr post, it wouldn't be labeled or anything, no grandious wordings and an attempt to philosophize it, it'd be like, mayyyybe 3 paragraphs? Like, if I didn't...edit it, and just let verbal vomit have it's way.

But genuinely the next thought was "I wouldn't make a fucking youtube video" Like it just came naturally. Of course I wouldn't. Because why. Why god why would anyone want anyone's perspective on some dude who uploaded shit online who turned out to be a murderer.

Gotta be the center of god damned attention! Or else, how can I do a unique clickbait on a youtuber who turned out to be a murderer.

If he was your favorite, you don't need to involve it in the god damned title. Like no one is there for that, they're there specifically to learn about the youtuber, not your dumbass.

Like I'm sure the video's fine! Probably has something, idunno what possibly, to say, looked like it had decent editing, horrible pacing and writing, but like.

That title is just Immoral. It's not okay. For that to have been the conscious choice for the title just speaks volumes. There's alot of nuance and blurred lines, I'm just impressed, he found just the perfect "That's not okay and there's nothing to gain from it" shitpost that's absolutely unironic and so detrimentally unself-aware it becomes apathetically fucking frustrating in a confusing way, where you just wanna not care, but there's apart of you still sitting on it, thinking, How. How did that happen.

Born a new emotion from me, an apathetic frustration to something that's really not that important, but boy does it leave an impact and impression. Like grand scheme of things there's something else worth investing time in, and I think that's really the basis of all of it.

The fact No one. Not one Soul. Had this thought, nor could possibly care, but here comes this one dude. Stomping on the grave for a selfie, something so vapid, so pointless, it only served to raise his statistics and viewership.

Congrats man, the Dead Murdered Person certainly appreciates that title, but me, the person watching you dancing on that fucking grave for just the right angle and lighting, I do not. And I'm alive. So. Congrats man. Maybe like, look around ya before abandoning your humanity.

[mocharoll]

Trajectory: A not-so-short notice on where we're headed

Deciding on the tone of content: On all platforms I've been trying to find a balance between content that I'd really like to put out and the type & format of content people are more likely to enjoy. While there is definitely an unquestionable desire to create, I've been anxious about how it's going to be taken by my present and future audience, if there ever is to be one, that is.

As such, I determined that Tumblr is an adequate platform to relieve that anxiety because not only are there not that many people who check my page regularly (which gives me some freedom), it's the first platform where I allowed myself to grow at my own pace and everyone else could just roll with it. It's removed enough from mainsteam media to not subject me to that typical peer pressure to fit a certain mould and the idea that success is equivalent to a strict upload schedule and internet fame, which is virtually pointless as an end goal. Hopefully this kind of "quarantine" will give me the courage to rid myself of that ingrained pressure, as well. Because more than anyone else we are our own perpetrators and echoers of dissent. It's still interesting: If you want to be seen and understood, are you obligated to express yourself in a way you know will allow you to be accepted yet vaguely seen and partially understood; or must you avoid filtering your authentic self but risk further ostracisation that you wanted to avoid in the first place? I'm really tired of this second-guessing as a result of continued tribalistic evolution. That being said, I'll slowly migrate my content on Instagram to here, where I posted short entries on philosophy and psychology. The reason being the realisation that I was closer and closer to censoring myself so as to make my thoughts more presentable to others, which I've always refused to do on principle. So expect some content awkwardly adapted to tumblr format. What my posts on philosophy might cover: Aesthetics, Mind-Body Connection and the Sublime: My primary topics of research. Insights and examples of the relationship between the mind and the sublime, which is essentially an "otherwordly" element that fascinates and disturbs. I may talk more about how my research will work to redefine the latter. Political/Social Discourse: There is no shortage of issues to go over, especially here, right now. But I will attempt to tackle matters as they come up. There'll be one about the government's role in disaster prevention soon, for obvious reasons. Bioethics: Before I was in humanities I was based in STEM and studied bioengineering (more on why I quit, later). Expect coverage of matters concerning the overlap of science and ethics and, like the relationship of an overactive brain with a heart that is tired of keeping up with it, how one cannot survive without the compulsions of the other.

Smell ya later babes!

[nentonscreativespot]

"Cold"

Word count: 1,204 Type: Sudden Fiction Original Upload Date: 2nd of July, 2020

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It’s BOOOORING! Everything’s boring! Yet I go here anyway because I’m obligated to. I already know that stuff already, now can I go to sleep? Well, of course not. Anyways, it seems like Josef’s bored too. He’s slouching, impatiently waiting for all of it to end, er, for the remaining hour to pass. I wrote something down on a piece of paper, crumpled down the said piece of paper, and threw it at Josef. “Seriously?” he mouthed, glaring at me. “Read” I mouthed back. He opens it, then writes his response on the same paper. He then threw the paper ball so hard it would have gone past me had I not managed to block it with my right palm. I expected a long answer from him, but the only thing he wrote there was ‘no.’ W- how can he only write ‘no’? He used to explain everything even on this paper. And on top of that, he just refused to cut classes with me. That’s a first. Really, what has gotten into him? He won’t talk to me anymore, or what, let alone join me in my /antics/. It was fun! What happened to that?

The bell signalling recess finally decided to ring. Disappointed at Josef’s rejection, I just decided to eat at the cafeteria instead, albeit ending up only ordering a small meal. Josef sits at the same table I was in, shocked at the sight of my face but brushes it off, only wishing to eat. “Excuse me, but do I know you?” I ask with a half joking tone. “What is it now?” he answers in a grumpy manner before placing the spoon filled with rice and /adobo/ inside his mouth. “I don’t know, perhaps you’re an impostor pretending to be Josef Cruz while the real one’s locked in your shed,” I answer, again with that half joking tone. “Really funny. Look, I want to start fresh this year. I’ll be one of those “good boys” you hate so much,” he replies monotonously while still avoiding eye contact with me. “My, have you grown BOOOORING!” I said. “And you’ve grown even more childish, Will. Just because you get away with all your antics doesn’t mean everyone does,” he answers with a rising tone. I then silently continued eating what little I had on my plate. It seems like he has no intention of talking to me more, either. Time flew by real fast when the bell signalling the next class rang.

After a series of boring classes that I have to be in, the hour of independence, er, dismissal finally arrives after what seemed like forever. Seeing as our houses are quite close to each other, Josef and I would usually walk home together, though since the school year started, which was several weeks ago, he won’t ever talk to me unless needed (e.g. schoolwork). He’s grown quite… cold… to me… It’s like he doesn’t know me anymore. Then what he said to me earlier cleared it all up… He didn’t want to get involved in any mess I might ever make… /It’s about that day, huh?/ After I managed to catch up to his fast pace of walking, I pretended to shiver like an idiot. “What is it now?” it’s clear that he’s not pleased with my presence as he was trying to brisk-walk away from me while also attempting not to make it obvious. “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m walking beside some sort of air-conditioning machine,” my answer was met with a soft punch to my left shoulder. “That… was half-meant,” my tone turned into a serious one. He sighs loudly and speaks, “Don’t you get it? You’re a bad influence to me. I don’t wanna get into trouble this year. You know what happened last year. I don’t want that to happen again, so as much as possible I don’t want anything to do with you,” he answers coldly. “Point taken,” was my soft reply. I suddenly found myself a few meters behind him, with my head down and my legs shaking. /Leave him alone, will ya?/ the voice says. Refusing to listen to myself, I chase Josef. “Look,” Josef turns around, looking at me with cold eyes. “I haven’t been a good friend, I get it. I’ve, uhm, dragged you into a lot of trouble. But I only did that—” my voice showed my clear hesitation, but I wasn’t trying to hide it anyway, “―because when I first met you, I already felt that life wasn’t agreeing with you,” I finish my sentence.

“—?”

We first met during intermediate level. Specifically during my enrollment for 5th Grade. I was with my parents at the parents’ orientation. He was there with his father, too. Bored, I asked my mother to go outside of the classroom the orientation was being held. He happened to go outside for the same reason, too. I was the one to approach him, who was just looking— perhaps even staring― at whatever you called that square in the middle of the school building. You know, where they hold the Flag Ceremony and… well… Well, it’s /that/. Anyways, we had a bit of a chat. His tone was somehow gloomy. It was also like he was trying to avoid this conversation. Then we ended up in the same section for that school year. Eventually, we became close, and we learned of each others’ problems…

“Face it, Josef,” I gathered the courage to look straight into his eyes. “You had fun whenever I dragged you into one of my antics.” His eyes weren’t able to deny it. He was about to say something when I cut him off. “I, well, I now realize that it probably- no, it was /not/ the best way to do it, but I wanted to help you… directly by giving some advice, albeit sometimes impractical, and in another way… by taking your mind off of it,” I explained, as my head dropped down again while I scratched my right arm. “It didn’t turn out great, but I tried,” I added. “If you want me to stay away from you, I’ll do it, but I just wanted you to know that,” I tried turning to a different corner from the one I usually would just to get out of his way. “WAIT!” he called out as I turned around. “I still wanna hang out with you, but I can’t have you constantly getting in trouble,” he said as I approached him. “And if I try not to get in trouble, should that suffice to you?” I asked. “Perhaps. Now stop using those big words to make yourself sound smart,” he said. “You do that as well,” I retaliated. What little time we had left before returning to our respective houses we spent by talking about random things. Soon, we arrived at my house. His house wasn’t that much far from my house, but you’ll spot mine before his if you come from our school. We parted, of course, and along with that, it felt like a big lump had been removed from my sternum. I’m glad we’re still friends. He’s the only one I’ve ever called ‘best friend.

[365elephantsoap]

THE NOTE I NEVER SENT

June temperatures can be odd here. For the most part, it’s a very tolerable warm and muggy, but in the afternoon, the heat can settle in and feel suffocating. That is how it was at camp last June. The heat would really roll in around 2:00 and everyone would scatter to the pool, the river or a shady hammock. The last full day of camp, I found myself in the yoga shala, our central gathering place for camp activities, right at the hottest part of the afternoon. The yoga shala sits at the highest point at camp and the only place where I could get any reception. I paced the shala as I attempted to upload photos so I could run a slideshow for the evening. Then I started setting up the projector. As I dragged the projector out and started running cords, I was hit with a big dose of doubts. I was afraid that I was not technologically advanced enough to set up this projector.

Funny right? I run complicated microscopy systems and suddenly I was afraid of a simple projector.

There was an older gentleman at camp, a dear old friend of Kelly’s we called Granny. We hadn’t had any interactions all through camp. He seemed to be on the periphery, but in that moment while I was struggling to figure out the projector, he swooped in. He didn’t take over or anything like that. He just became my assistant, supporting me in whatever I needed. Then, when we had gotten everything set up and working, the power for the entire camp went out. We looked at each other and then walked down to the pool. I sat with my legs dangling in the pool and someone handed me a cold beer. There was a small group floating around on various floaties. Granny came and sat next to me and we proceeded to talk and talk and talk. We talked about education and liberal arts. We talked about government and science. It was the kind of conversation that I hadn’t had with anyone in a really long time. It was good and meaningful and important. Those handful of hours were like a drop of water, tiny but filled with a whole world.

The last morning of camp, I wrote a note on the back of a photo and went to put it in his mailbag only to discover that he’d left early that morning while everyone was still sleeping. I thought maybe I’d mail the photo to him, but I never got around to it. Last week, Kelly posted that Granny had passed away. Fast acting cancer. Fuck cancer. So now I have this note that I never sent, a note now for the dead. I’ll just add it to my list of growing questions that I have for Chris, Dad and J. It will probably rest on the altar at camp this year until I set it into one of the firepits. Leave it forever at camp.

This is such a shitty reminder to never hesitate.

Send the note.

Worth saying again: Fuck cancer.

[rickmandowneyjr]

Cuts to Cope

Angst, fluff Pairing: Severus Snape and Student!Reader (platonic) Warning: talk of self-harm, mentions of character's death Word Count: 2348 A/N: This is a little piece I wrote a while ago but didn't know if I should post or not. After re-doing certain bits, I decided to upload it. Hope it's not too difficult to read. As always, the ending is a little abrupt and not too detailed, leaving it sort of up to y'all as well :) Sorry if there are any typos (I only ever get the time to write when it's quite late nowadays)

Yet another day at Hogwarts - waking up at 6:30 am, showering, getting dressed in your robes, and heading to breakfast. Wishing everyone you passed a good morning, wearing your signature smile as you did.

You were a 7th year, one of the few returning ones after last year's incident with Cedric Diggory. He'd been your best friend, or at least that's what people thought. Cedric Diggory and you had been dating for the last 7 months before his death. You didn't want anyone knowing because being star students meant eyes prying into every aspect of your relationship.

People praised you, a model student and now, prefect, who set an example. An example of how to be strong and cope no matter what life threw at you. Little did they know, you harboured a little secret. A dark, horrifying, and disturbing secret that would never let anyone look at you the same way if they ever found out.

Your first class for the day was Potions. You were a brilliant student, especially at Potions, yet Snape still had something against you. You didn't take it personally, though; he wasn't really fond of anyone. You walked into class, taking your regular seat at the front. Snape walked into class a little while later, slamming the door behind him, commanding everyone's attention.

"Turn to page 420," he drawled. You opened the book to find the recipe for Amortentia. Your heart felt a tug at the name of the love potion, never having been able to find out the answers with Cedric.

Snape's deep voice brought your focus back to class as he said, "Since it takes a week to brew, I've already completed most of the process. All you need to do is the last day's work," making the class sigh with relief. "However," he continued, "The last day of brewing is crucial and not easy. So, I expect your attention to be fully on the task at hand."

You began brewing the potion, following the steps perfectly. Snape sat down to grade papers as the class worked. He looked at you and said, "Ms. [L/N], roll up your sleeves while you work. I'd hate for there to be mishaps in my class because of one student's carelessness."

You hesitated, but then did as asked. You weren't the best at wandless magic but had made sure to perfect this spell solely for such instances. As you rolled your sleeves, you subtly waved your hand over your forearms, mumbling, "Illusiont," and casting the disillusionment charm.

You saw Snape narrow his eyes at you and panicked for a second before you saw him shake his head and return to grading. Breathing a sigh of relief, you returned to the task at hand and continued brewing.

After a while, you'd finished, and were the first one to have done so. Snape walked over to your desk and took a whiff of the potion, raising an eyebrow before giving you a single nod of approval, letting you know that it was perfect. Once everyone was done, he walked around, starting at the back, and asked everyone to announce what they smelled. You hadn't smelled your Amortentia yet and hadn't planned on doing so either, feeling quite relieved when Snape hadn't asked that question earlier.

Your heart rate quickened as you began to worry about how your body and mind would react to smelling it. You couldn't do it last year, since the Triwizard tournament had led to a bunch of classes being cancelled. As you thought about how excited you had been at the prospect of sharing the experience with Cedric, Snape's voice pulled you back to your potions class.

"Ms. [L/N]."

"Yes, sir?"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "What. Do. You. Smell," he spoke, irritation evident in every word.

You swallowed hard as you leaned forward to inhale the scent. Your pupils dilated, your heartbeat quickened and your knees threatened to give out at the all-too-familiar fragrance. Your throat went dry as you stopped the tears from forming.

"Well? We haven't got all day, class is to be dismissed soon." He raised an eyebrow at you, asking you to hurry up since you were the last one.

With every ounce of energy, you calmed yourself and stopped your voice from wavering. "Old books, butterscotch and... vanilla," you sighed. Your breathing was erratic and you knew you needed to get out of class and get to the abandoned girls' washroom.

As if on cue, the bell rang, dismissing the class. Snape gave you an odd look and was about to ask you what was wrong but you had already gathered your belongings and were marching out the door. He decided to follow you since he'd never seen you act like that before and was wondering what had happened to you all of a sudden.

You made your way up the stairs, hurrying before you had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway. As you reached the washroom, you started rummaging through your bag since the hallway was empty. You took the small blade that you carried around out, pushing the door to the bathroom open.

Snape's POV

I followed her out of the classroom. Though not my favourite, [Y/N] was an incredible witch and this wasn't normal behaviour for her. She'd marched out before I had even dismissed class which concerned me even more, given her usually 'perfect' behaviour. She paced through the hallways and up the stairs so fast that I could've sworn she was moving around faster than I did on a normal basis. There was an urgency in her stride and I don't know why, but it concerned me.

She finally turned into the hallway leading to the girls' washroom on the third floor, which was odd. No one used this, as far as I was aware. I was a little embarrassed, considering I'd just followed a young girl to a washroom. In an isolated area, at that. I swear I never would've imagined myself going even further and following her in, but what I'd seen had shocked and concerned me enough to do just that.

End of Snape's POV

As you entered the bathroom, you had missed Snape, whose eyes were wide with shock. He couldn't believe what he'd seen. [Y/N] [L/N], the golden girl of Hogwarts, had just walked into an abandoned washroom after pulling out a blade from her bag. Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, he rushed in, wanting to confirm what his eyes had just seen.

As you were about to enter a stall, the door to the bathroom, swung open, making you jump. You hid the blade by making a fist, unintentionally cutting into your palm. You winced at the unexpected pain but didn't let it show.

You turned to face Professor Snape, and he was eyeing your hand. 'There's no way he saw it, is there?' you thought.

"Ms. [L/N], care to show me your hands?"

You panicked. He knew. You tried to divert his attention. "Sir, this is the girls' washroom."

"I'm aware," he stated. "Now... Hands," he said as he glared at you, letting you know that he wouldn't fall for any attempts to change the subject.

You sighed and opened your hands, and saw his gaze soften. He walked to you taking your hand in his as he gently pulled the razor out. You winced as it came out, knowing this would impair you for the rest of your classes.

"What were you thinking?!" He scolded, startling you. He reached for your arm, rolling up your sleeves once again and muttered, "Finite."

The scars on your arms started showing up and you couldn't do anything but look away, your eyes resting anywhere but his gaze.

"So that was the Disillusionment Charm I heard you use, earlier."

You stayed silent, still refusing to meet his eyes. Of all the professors, it had to be him. Sure, he wasn't fond of you, but you had immense respect for the man, and to let him see you in this light... it took every bit of you to not lose your composure.

"Look at me," he said.

You turned to face him. His usually cold eyes showed too much concern and the uncharacteristic response from the potions master was proving to be a lot to handle. Tears stung your eyes as he stared at you.

"Why?" He asked, his voice so genuine that you couldn't help but let your emotions spill, creating a mess that you couldn't be bothered to care about anymore.

"I can't do this anymore," you sniffled. "I don't want to. He was everything to me and it just hurts so much."

"Who?"

"Cedric."

"Ah, yes. I'm aware you and Mr. Diggory were best friends. I'm sorry, [Y/N]."

"No," you said, finally being able to talk to someone about it. "He was my boyfriend. And... I never got to tell him I loved him... because I wasn't sure. Today just made it worse when I smelled him in my Amortentia. It confirmed that I did and I never got to say it." You were sobbing now, not caring what you looked like, what a mess you probably were, or what Snape was thinking of you and your confession.

You felt him awkwardly wrap his arms around you as he pulled your head to his chest. Your cries got louder and your wails of agony echoed in the empty washroom as your hands clutched the fabric of his robes. The feeling of someone comforting you was overwhelming. You'd always had to keep up this image of a perfect student, reliable friend, someone who could never have such horrifying tendencies.

Even then, as you cried out loud, your instinct made you bury your face in his chest, muffling the 'ugly' sobs. Snape's heart broke as your thoughts flooded his mind. As you struggled to breathe, he turned your head slightly, making you audible again. He didn't hush you; just stroked your hair as your tears soaked his robes.

It took a while, but you finally calmed down, your sobs reducing to soft whimpers before they died out entirely. Your throat was sore, and lips, chapped from all the crying. Your eyes were red and puffy, and the reality of the situation finally came crashing down on you.

Your secret was out. More than one, at that. One of the professors knew, and the strictest one too. You had just spent Merlin knows how long crying into his chest, which was now soaked with your tears.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, your voice, hoarse. "Your robes are all wet now," you said, trying to move away.

"That's the least of my worries right now," he said, keeping your head in place as he continued, "I understand what you're going through. Better than you'd know." It sounded like it was painful for him to talk about it, the tone of his voice giving the vulnerability away. "But this is not the way to deal with it," he said as rubbed your back.

"Does it go away?"

"I'll be honest," he sighed. "It does get lesser with time if you allow yourself to heal. However, it never goes away entirely. A part of you will always love and miss him. I'm sorry," he said.

"No, I'm glad. I don't want to forget him. Or my love for him. Cedric Diggory was and will always be - my first love."

You finally pulled away from his chest and looked him in the eyes as he gave you a gentle smile. You managed to muster a somber one and sighed.

"Do any of your friends know?"

"Merlin, no!"

"Why not? They're your friends. They could-"

"I can't have this getting out. Everyone will-"

"Who cares what people think?" He raised his voice. It was silent for a while before he sighed and spoke again.

"[Y/N], I want you to promise me something."

You knew what was coming. You gulped and nodded softly.

"I want you to promise me that you'll stop this. Cedric wouldn't want this for you."

"I know, and I've tried before. It's not that simple-"

"I know," he said, cutting you off. "Which is why, the next time you get the urge to do this, you'll come to me. No matter what the situation might be."

You were surprised at his words. It was incredibly nice of him to offer this to you, and you nodded, accepting his generosity.

"Also," he continued, "Please stop going to such great lengths to please others and worrying about what others think. It's not healthy."

"But-"

"But nothing. Your health is suffering and you can't even bring yourself to tell anyone because you're so busy keeping up this little charade of 'everything is fine'."

You stayed silent. There was truth in his words and you couldn't refute his accusations. You just looked up at him, once again, finding the uncharacteristic concerned look meeting your gaze. Nodding softly, you agreed. How could you not when someone had shown you such consideration and compassion?

A small smile graced his usually stoic face as he helped you up, and you both made your way out of the bathroom. He escorted you back to your dormitories, ensuring you were alright before the two of you parted ways.

The rest of the school year passed and Snape stayed true to his word, and you to yours. Every time you felt the urge to hurt yourself to relieve the pain, you'd find Snape. He was patient and helped you every step of the way. Slowly, but surely, you were able to overcome your urges and also found yourself living for yourself, rather than up to others' expectations.

By the time you graduated, you had overcome the habit and thanked Snape in your graduation speech, never giving away the details as to why. A lot of people had assumed there was something between the two of you, especially since you went to meet him all through the school year, but you didn't let it bother you, because... Who cares what people think, right?

-

P.S. - Sorry I've been a little slow with the writing. My college assignments have started rolling in and I'm currently swamped. Also, I'm working on a little something (announcing it in 2-3 days so make sure to check in lol). Rest assured, I'm slowly and steadily making my way through requests. Thank you for understanding <3

[burnedbyshoto]

my hero

— Walking alone in the middle of the night isn’t the best of ideas, but that’s okay, you had a hero waiting to save you.

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pairing: kirishima eijirou x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, pwp, exhibitionism, strangers fucking, dirty talk, praise, belly bulge, attempted kidnapping

word count: 5,197

a/n: and we’re back! sorry for the super late uploads, I hope you can forgive me. pls enjoy, I had fun writing it :D

kinktober day 18 main kink: exhibitionism | kinktober masterlist

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You really needed to stop walking the streets so late at night.

It was a bad habit you’ve grown in the past few months. Your building anxiety and untouched, restless energy made you bounce around your apartment. But you didn’t go anywhere, couldn’t do anything but pace from corner to corner. 

The wood of your apartment floor must have been streaked with the dye of your socks, and you swore you could see the small indents from where you drag your feet to and fro your wall. The restless energy you had was untouchable, and your friends soon became worried about you. Eventually, after one night of taking a new 5,000 steps in the small living room of your apartment, your friend said to go for a run.

Sure, it was six in the evening, and yeah, maybe the spring night was cold, but Jesus fuck please, your pacing made them anxious. So, that’s how you began your journey of running at night because your once six pm runs evolved into eleven pm jogs. You had always been one to carry your pepper spray in your pocket and had a concealed sharp key in your fist as you ran. You were still prepared, even if you never ran into a situation that caused you to need either item.

But tonight was different as it always was.

You were dressed in your black joggers and a dark grey sweatshirt.

The slight chill of the fall night barely seeping into your skin that was hot with your exhaustion. It was late out, and as you went from a jogging pace and slowed into a stroll as you entered the park approximately two blocks away from your home, you stopped. 

Stretching your arms over your head, you stretched out your slightly sore limbs and took in the tranquility of the park at night.

The park was a beautiful one, in your opinion.

It was thick with trees; every ten steps you took, there was a new tree. Wooden benches and picnic tables littered the floor and winding concrete everywhere, showing just how great the place could be to enjoy while the sun was out. There was a playground by the entrance you came through and a basketball court at the gate you exit from.

Altogether, it was beautiful and simple.

But as you pressed the sleeve of your sweatshirt to your forehead, wiping the beaded sweat on your skin, you froze when you heard the sound of leaves crunching behind you. 

You froze as you turned around, your eyes wide and lips falling open when you saw a man stumbling toward you. There was no reason to panic, probably, you thought as he looked occupied on his own phone, his head down, his steps quick and focused. But there was no denying the small, almost horrible feeling that pooled into your stomach as you watched him approach nearer and nearer.

You grabbed the pepper spray that was in your pocket as a premature, ready to fight movement, your feet moving to get out of the path in case he tried to do anything. Your breathing was soft, not entirely too loud, but to you, It seemed to ring loudly in your ears as he got nearer and nearer.

He passed by you, his eyes not even trying to look your way as he went one step, two steps, three steps away from you. You wanted to sigh in relief about your stupid freak out; of course, it was nothing, it was always nothing, so there was no reason for you to freak out. But then he stopped, and you were too late to see the twitch in his shoulder, the way he spun around faster than you could scream and tackled you to the floor. 

His hands were all over you, grabbing you, shoving his dirty, grimey hand into your mouth to silence you, fisting into your mouth so that even your biting, snapping closed jaw was stupid weak against him. Tears welled in your eyes as his knee buried into the center of your lungs, shortening your breaths as you struggled to get the pepper spray from your pocket.

You found that you couldn't.

You couldn't grab the canister from inside your pocket as the man's smile grew wider, terribly cunning as you struggled to do all that you could to get him off you. 

Pathetic.

Useless.

Weak.

Tears began to stream from your eyes, the fear that twisted and rotted in your stomach festering like a stench as you cried against his fisted hand. You wouldn't be heard, wouldn't be seen. You were being assaulted with no way of being saved because no one went out here this late at night. You cursed your inability to do anything on time, cried that your dumb anxiety only felt better after running for an hour, and your lungs burned with the slowly depleting oxygen coming to your veins.

But just as your eyes were beginning to close, your hope and ability to wish for the best outcome was simmering into nothing but ashes and smoke, something large, hard, and fast knocked onto the man on top of you. You gasped for air as you immediately turned onto your side, your hands and knees buried into the dirt floor as you gasped and choked for air. 

There, finally, was the sweet taste of grass and nature that filled your senses, but your watering eyes fell onto your attacker and the... the man?!

Your savior was another man.

His red hair still somehow easily discernible in the darkness of the night, and his large, strong muscled body absolutely punching and keeping your attacker down.

"What the fuck is your problem, man?!" your savior demanded, his hand grabbing the hair of your attacker and slamming his bruised and swollen face to the ground, the win most obviously won by your savior. You looked at the anger-fueled rage on your saviors’ face, the way his eyebrows were knitted together, and how his lips were pulled back into an angry snarl. The fight had been obviously won by your savior, and you couldn’t help but keep staring as the workout clothes clad savior took a few more deep, almost shaky breaths before he turned his gaze onto you. “H-Hey? Are you okay? Call the police, and I’ll keep on this bastard!”

“I-I’m fine!” your voice rasps, your hand rising shakily from the floor to softly rub your tender throat. “I’m fine, it’s okay! You can let him go!”

Your savior freezes, his eyes looking at you like you’re batshit crazy, and honestly, you probably are, but you don’t want to deal with writing up a police report or anything of that. It just wasn’t worth it since you ended up okay.

“You… do you want me to let him go?” your savior asks again, his eyebrows shot up, obviously not buying your words in the slightest.

You nod your head, you collapse down so that you’re sitting on your knees. Exhaustion is slamming into your body post the sudden demanding rush of adrenaline.

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” you smile weakly as your red-headed savior frowns. He sighs, obviously not in agreement with what you wanted to do, but he turned his attention back down to your attacker, who was still struggling against his weight and strength.

“You’re going to get the fuck out of here, or else I won’t hesitate to kick your ass and call the cops myself,” the man snapped, shoving the man further into the ground for good measure before climbing off of him. The red-headed angel walked in front of you. His considerable height incredibly intimidating to even you as the man on the floor wheezed before running off, his tail between his legs until the echo of his feet hitting the grass can no longer be heard.

“Wow, that was crazy,” he spoke softly to the wind, his hands resting on his hips before he turned his head to look at you, his eyes wide with concern. Even with the minimal light of the light post in the park and the moonlight that barely pierced through the canopy of tree leaves, you could see as clear as day that your savior was handsome. There was a scar over his right eye, and his red hair was styled and pushed back with a bandana. He had a windbreaker on and gym shorts but still looked ridiculously handsome. He turned to face you, crouching as he spoke, “Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you flush, your eyes dropping to your dirt-covered hands that rest on your lap. “I’m fine now, at least. That was pretty scary, I have to admit.”

“Fuck, I bet,” the man agreed, his head nodding as he drops onto his butt. “I’m glad I decided to come through the park to get to my car today. Typically I walk all the way around this park.”

Indeed seemed like fate, you thought, your smile spreading small and thin on your face. “I was running; it helps with my restless energy. But, this is the first time anything like that has happened.”

“I’m sorry that had to happen at all,” he frowned, his face full of genuine remorse and guilt. “That was entirely cowardly of that asshole to do; I’m glad you weren’t hurt, though.”

“Ah, I got thick skin,” you slightly joke, enjoying the way the sweet smile spread on his face. Remembering your manners, your eyes shut, your head shaking slightly at your rudeness. “Um, I’m y/l/n y/n, though. Thank you for saving me from whatever that could have become.”

“Kirishima Eijirou!” the man cheerfully introduced himself too. “And it was no problem; literally, any good person would have done what I did!”

Modesty was somehow disgustingly, hotly attractive on the large, muscular stranger, and you wet your lips as you stretched your body closer to his. “It wasn’t just ‘no problem,’ though,” you state, matter-of-factly. “You quite literally saved my life; you’re a hero. You’re my hero.”

Although you couldn’t see the color flushing against his skin, you were without a doubt that he was blushing as profoundly as his hair if the riddled embarrassment in his eyes and face had anything to say about it. 

“I-I, oh, aha, um, well, that’s very kind of you to say! I was just trying to be a manly guy, and really that was nothing?” Kirishima embarrassingly rambled, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as you found yourself drawing nearer and nearer to him. 

Your warm hand found itself pressing onto his strong knee, your upper body leaning even closer to his flustered state. His eyes were shifting everywhere, not quite looking at you, but would linger on your body as you drew nearer and nearer. For some reason, you couldn’t help the jarring sense of attraction you had for your hero before you, the way the familiar warmth in between your legs made your voice hum as you grew nearer.

You wanted to show him just how grateful you were to have had him saving your life.

“That was nothing? You saving my life was nothing?” you tease, your words slow and thick on your tongue as you find yourself by his side, mouth brushing teasingly soft against his jaw. 

“W-Well, of course not! It was a valuable life, don’t get me wrong! It’s just me doing that was nothing! I’m no hero!” Kirishima stammered, his voice in a soft whine as goosebumps flashed across his neck, where your breaths warmed his skin.

“Hm, that’s too bad,” you whisper, your tongue wetting your lips as you drew in closer. Your heart was hammering loudly in your ears, but you didn’t care, way too transfixed on the way the heat emitting from between your legs demanded Kirishima’s cock. “I like showing my gratitude to heroes in the world, ya know?”

His face finally turned to you, his wide eyes meeting your half-lidded ones in an electric gaze. No one spoke; only the softly chirping crickets and the wind brushing through the leaves made noises. 

“Y-Yeah?” he whimpered out, his voice weak and caused great pleasure to crawl down your spine. “How do ya’ suppose you show your gratitude?”

You hum, thinking about it, but as the adrenaline from your attack finally was replaced with the blatant, blistering want for the huge red-headed man before you. You find yourself straddling his lap, slowly sinking onto him. Your knees once more buried into the soft, dewy grass of the park.

Your arms wrap around his neck, his eyes wide and incredibly expressive as his large hand’s press to your waist. 

“Any way you crave me,” you speak with finality, placing the future of your actions into his hands. 

“Holy fuck,” Kirishima curses, and without a second more of hesitation, his lips and mouth are crashing against yours. 

There’s something unworldly attractive about making out with a practical stranger in the middle of a public park at nearly midnight. Your hands move possessively against his back, fingers digging into his fabric as he draws you nearer, your torso pushed tight against his. His lips move expertly against yours, the sharp points of his teeth dragging and biting into your bottom lip until he pulls away, your lip in his teeth, his eyes dark and full of lust. That lasts less than a few seconds as you’re back on him, mouth desperate against his, tongue curling into his mouth to move languidly, possessively against his. 

His body radiates heat, the warmth of his body quickly seeping past the sweaty thickness of your own sweatshirt as your hips begin to roll against his growing bulge. 

“S-Shit,” he gasps, your lips trailing down his hot neck, his throat muscles clenching as he gulps. Your smirk against his skin, sucking and nibbling on a concentrated spot as he helps you to roll your hips against his hot, thick length. “I-I don’t live nearby; it’ll be a bit of a drive.”

“I’m two blocks away,” you confess, pulling away from the dark purple and red bruise on his neck that makes you drunk with lust. “But I don’t think I can make it.”

Kirishima splutters, his hips instinctively bucking against your slowly throbbing core that sends your teeth biting into his thick skin again. “Do you wanna, fuckk… Are we gonna—?”

“Don’t tell me my hero is afraid to fuck in public?” you tease, your hands traveling down his tight, muscular torso. You admire the way you can feel his trembling abs against your hands, and you grin when his head dips backward when your fingers find their way against the waistband of his sweats, your weight shifting harshly against his cock as you tease along his upper crotch. “It’s late. No one’s around. I got a strong man to protect me. And I want him now,” you speak against his jaw, your lips pressing hot kisses between every sentence.

You notice that his eyes are red as your lips come up to brush against his, teasing the both of you as neither of you moves to seal your fates. Your position on the situation needs to be resolved, needing an answer from him.

“Whatcha gonna do, big guy?” you asked, lips ghosting against his, and at that moment, you shiver at the way his pupils expand to the edges of his iris.

His mouth is against yours in a renewed passion, lips pressing and pushing fervorously against yours, making you tremble in his arms, completely lust-taken. You kiss him back with equal force, hips rolling against his in your accepted need. 

“Fuck, you know what you’re doing, huh?” Kirishima gasps the moment you grind your increasingly wet cunt against his mountain bulge in a way that has his hips snapping up towards yours. You laugh, teeth pressing onto his lower lip and pulling away, eyes focused on his through the curtain of your lashes before you let go of his lip.

“I aim to please,” you bat your lashes, your hands working their way under the waistband of his shorts. “Now, you want me to suck your dick, or what?”

You had never seen a man’s face go through such wild, intense agreement. The blackened look in his eyes and the way a shiver so obviously tittered down his spine had you smiling like a champion.

Mouths came back together in a blazing, needing kiss; you shift up onto your knees, the kiss becoming a clash of sharp teeth and simmering tongues. Blindly, your hands come down to his shorts and assist him in getting his pants off. Shock and amusement rushing through you the second you feel the top of his cock slap the back of your ass. The heat emitting from the skin burning through your own layer of clothes.

With your lips sucking onto his tongue, your hand moves behind you, grasping and pushing the throbbing, thick cock between your ass cheeks. And for a moment, for a few painfully slow grinds, you press him to your ass as you grind against him. Kirishima moans loudly, his hands shifting all over your body, fingers rubbing your skin from the dips of your hips to your soaking wet cunt. 

The air is static, disgustingly hot that you swear with the heaving, panting breaths emitted from both of your mouths, you swear you can see the condensation.

“C’mon baby,” Kirishima rasps, his tongue finally permitted back into his mouth, his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of your throat. “I thought you were going to suck my dick?”

“What if I don’t want to anymore?” you gasp, your eyes fluttering closed, your thumb that is on his cock pressing onto the slit of his dripping cock. “What if I want you in me now?”

“Suck my dick with that pretty little mouth of yours, and I promise you — your hero promises you that I’ll fuck you better then any other fucker has,” Kirishima grunts into your skin, his biting kisses bruising your skin.

Well, you didn’t need to be told twice. 

You shift backward, the tip of his pre-cum leaking cockhead spreading his pre-cum all over your own leggings. But that doesn’t faze you, nor do you care enough as you finally get to see the near monstrosity of a cock Kirishima has.

Long, thick, veiny, and with curly soft black pubes.

“Not a natural redhead?” you tease, your body leaning down, making sure to accentuate your breasts as you begin to slowly stroke his thick length. Kirishima can only shake his head as your tongue pokes out to give his swollen head a kitten lick. “Mm, I bet you look hot with black hair too.”

There’s no room for a second opinion for your mouth sinks entirely onto his length, just enough to be the slightest bit uncomfortable, but the results were immediate. Kirishima’s head slammed to the wood of the tree, his hands gripping your head as you bobbed against his length. The musk and scent of his dick were strong yet pleasant. You found yourself sinking lower and lower onto his size, pleased with the way he was tearing into his bottom lip to keep his ringing moans from being heard, his fingers tugging at the roots of your hair as he meets your sinking mouth in sloppy, restrained thrusts.

Your tongue traced the bulging veins on his length, swirling and twisting around his girth, a desperate attempt to show that his size didn’t scare you, that you were taking him all in. But his lust clouded gaze on you thrilled you. The pure, unadulterated passion that settled on his eyes and gaze made you shiver; he was so responsive, moaning, and gasping for you in every right action you made. But you want to get bigger, bolder reactions out of him, and closing your jaw just the slightest bit, you let your lower teeth scrape just gently against his sensitive skin.

The result was immediate, and much wanted.

Despite the immediate relaxation of your jaw and throat, Kirishima burying his entire length down your throat made you choke, gagging as your nose buried into his pubes. He was entirely large, uncomfortably thick in your throat as your muscles flexed and fluttered around him.

“Take it, take me all in,” Kirishima gasps, his hips shifting into small, tiny thrusts to ram his cock further and further into your awaiting mouth. “That’s i-it, holy fuck, that’s it! You are so good at this shit, baby. F-Fuck… you’re amazing! So fucking perfect!”

The praise makes you whine, the drool that seeps from your mouth helpless and joined with the tears of discomfort from your eyes. But you continue to impress him, continue to let him fuck your mouth and throat wholeheartedly without restraint or worry.

Soon, the wet gagging noises fill the air, your throat feeling raw as Kirishima is unashamedly fucking into you with more significant, more powerful intent. He praises you without hesitation, the words curling warmly into your gut, making your cunt throb and demand attention as you hollow your cheeks. Kirishima nearly howls at the vacuum sensation, the lustful, long noise growing in his lust as you raise up to his cockhead, your tongue lashing around the salty pre-cum that is weeping from his swollen tip.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, wait!” Kirishima gasps, his hips bucking wildly, trying to go further into your mouth again. But your grip and commanding are more robust than he could ever be, and he can’t sink his cock further into the wet heat he so craves. “Wait, wait, wait! I want to cum in you, baby! Please let me cum in you!”

You’re off him immediately with a sharp, loud pop.

His eyes are unashamed in his request, and you think about the issues of an absolute stranger busting a nut inside of you. Your tongue dips out of your mouth to lick the pre-cum that’s dribbled onto your lower lip, and you whine at the back of your throat.

“O-Okay.”

His response to your approval is immediate.

You shriek in slight fear when he tugs you up onto your feet, twisting you and shoving your back against the cold hardness of the tree he was resting upon. Your breathing is unsteady, heart absolutely pounding in your throat as his lips consume yours again. Just as you did before, you melt into his kiss, his touch as his hot, calloused fingers shove your shorts down your legs, exposing your throbbing, wet cunt to the cold air.

Hissing at the contact, you feel your voice being smothered by a wet moan that escapes your mouth. Kirishima has his cock rutting between your wet folds, his fingers leaving lasting bruises on your waist.

“Want you so badly, baby,” he grunts, his mouth swallowing your moans and pitched whines as you grind against him, shaking against his hold. “Want to see you take me all the way in.”

“Put it in,” you keen, hips bucking and thrusting faster and faster against his waiting cock, your actions pathetic and needy. “Put it in Kiri, I want you in me, fuck me already, please fuck me.”

In what you could only describe as being the strength of god, Kirishima lifts you up, hands shifting from your soft waist to the mounds of the flesh of your ass and pressing you into the tree. You squeak, embarrassed, and entirely self-conscious of your weight despite the lust haze clouding your mind. Your struggle in his arms is fruitless, his broad, thick chest pressing up against yours as you find your mind absolutely melting when his thick cockhead pushes against the clenching wet cavern of your cunt.

“P-Put me down,” you gasp, squirming despite the fire that burns in your core and cheeks. “I-I’m too—”

“I’m your hero,” Kirishima speaks calmly, his forehead pressing against yours, eyes locking on yours in such a way that was too intimate for strangers, too world-shifting for two unknowns. “I can carry you just easy, ya know. These muscles aren’t just for showing off.”

The grin on his face is childish, almost too boyish if it wasn’t for the fact that his eyes held that profound, pristine promise and want for you. So, in an action that has your back arching against the wood, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your legs tightened firmly around his waist as he buried his cock into you.

Melodious moans echo between your mouths, horribly silenced by your crashing mouths because, dear god, you’re fucking in a public park. 

He kisses you with a passion and a soul that strips you bare, and his hips begin to fuck up and into you without hesitation, the full feeling in your core stretching and fluttering with every driving intent from him. In and out, his cock goes into you, up and down your hips grind against him.

It’s a synchronized dance, a coming of your bodies that sends your toes curling as he begins to fuck into you just a bit harder, just a tad faster. It makes you shiver, makes your fingernails bury into his skin as you moan and beg for his name.

Kirishima curses as you clench around him, his hand grabbing your wrist and slamming it onto the tree, holding it there as he fucks you with growing strength and speed. Every snap of his hips sends a burst of colors to the back of your eyelids, and every squelch of your meeting, sloppy wet sexes sends a blabbering, incoherent sentence from your lips.

“More, more, more,” you beg, the tree trunk absolutely uncomfortable against your skin, but you can’t feel it anymore; you don’t care about the pain. You crave it, you want it. “Give me more.”

The curve of his cock, the girth, and the veins that drag up and down your puffy velvet walls are driving you insane. He holds insane power with every admittance of his cock in your clenching cunt, and he buries his nose into the crook of your neck and nods his sweaty head.

“Can you take it? You gonna be able to take my cock fucking you entirely?” Kirishima gasps, almost as if he was afraid of hurting you, and for some reason, that makes your brain shut down.

Fingers buried into the dyed red hair at the nape of his neck, you tug his head back, your legs tightening around his waist so much that he can’t fuck you anymore. The both of you are there, staring at one another as you hold him, bottomed out in you, your stomach stretching just a bit from having him entirely within you.

“If you don’t fuck me with everything you have,” you breath, your nose brushing against his, lips avoiding his that seek yours out for contact. “I’ll scream.”

“You seem like a brat,” Kirishima teases, his hold shifting on your ass, pressing you even more uncomfortably onto the tree.

“I’m just a girl who knows what she wants,” you bite back, allowing him to shift your arms so that you were supporting part of your weight onto the tree, allowing for a better balance.

“Brat,” Kirishima enunciates, his lips spreading into a teasing, seductive smirk. 

But before you could fight back, before you could argue that you were, in fact, not a brat, Kirishima begins to fuck into you yet again. Your jaw drops immediately, the burning nearly exquisite pain-filled pleasure of his untapped strength fucking into you.

Your voice begins to scream out, the feeling of his vicious, thick cock snapping into you, shoving your shoulders further and further into the tree was sending your head spinning. Your body is convulsing as he fucks you with new vulgar need and strength. But before you could scream your praises, Kirishima’s fingers shove into your mouth, silencing your words and noises as he fucks you again and again and again.

“You’re so fucking loud, baby,” Kirishima chuckles, his voice strained with his exertion of energy, his hips slamming so powerfully into your clenching core that his balls were slapping against your soring ass with no restriction. “So fucking loud, but we’re not in the place for you to be wailing my name unless you want to be caught. Do you wanna be caught, is that what it is?”

You shake your head pathetically against his fingers, your tongue lazily swirling and inserting itself between his parting fingers as you moan. Your head is spinning, the overstimulation of his conquesting cock, the rising orgasm in you, and the thought of someone walking through the park and seeing the two of you fucking under the yellow light of the park light making your walls flutter. His cock twitches with the flutter, and the both of you moan inexplicably loud. 

“Such a good wet cunt,” Kirishima gasps, his fingers beginning to reciprocate the length and rhythm of his pounding cock in your throat, something you take without a second of hesitation or doubt. “I’m so glad I got to be your hero today, aren’t you so glad?”

“Mm-mhmm,” you gag around his fingers, your hips bucking with near madness as your vision swims with lust and need. You were so happy that he found you, so delighted he saved you, that he was your hero. 

But the building tightness and demanding need in your cunt was growing louder, hotter, completely undeniable. Your teeth sinking against his skin as you whimpered loudly, absolutely pathetically as you shifted faster, fucking against him harder.

“C-Close,” you manage to gag out, and a sharp escape of air comes from his nose.

Kirishima nods, removing his fingers from your mouth, the string of cold saliva dangerously cold against your blazing hot chin. “I want you to look at the way your belly bulges when I fuck you, I want you to watch it bulge as you cum, baby.”

You whimper, the strain in your neck almost insufferable as you peer down at your hastily exposed stomach, and you nearly faint at the pornographic, near-insane image of your stomach bulging with his hammering cock. And just like that, you come tumbling down from the heights of your building orgasm. White heat and light spread through your body, your jaw slacking as you moan loudly, screaming his name as you convulse against him, body entirely limp. Kirishima, who was barely hanging by a strand, completely loses it when your core clenches like a vice against him. 

Hot, thick ropes of cum spurt from his cock, his heavy, shaking gasps the only thing you can hear as he fucks into you once, twice more for good measure before the both of you sink to the grass. It’s hot, almost too hot as he lays on top of you, the sticky fluid of his cum radiating against your already blazing walls, and for a bit, there’s silence.

“So um,” you rasp after a moment, the silence warm and comfortable. “You gonna walk me home?”

“Depends,” Kirishima mutters into your sweaty neck.

“On?”

“Will you give your hero your number?”

[laughing-with-god]

Okay

1. I LOVED your response to that anon, well done!!👏🏻🤣 they were very disrespectful and inconsiderate as heck. People have lives outside of this and if they were really curious about the update, they should have been nicer and respectful, cause that right there was NOT OKAY. So yes, your answer was fire👏🏻🔥🔥🔥

But omg please don’t pull the plug on Unsaid Vow, I’m so excited for it and am waiting patiently for whenever you are ready to post it🙏🏼❤️ it sucks that disrespectful anons like that have to ruin it for the rest of us that actually appreciate your work and respect you and your time, honestly I apologize on their behalf that you have to deal with that crap. Like anon that wrote that, if you see this BE MORE RESPECTFUL. Kindness is FREE.

Anyways I hope you have a wonderful day❤️

Okay so first of all, thank you. So so much. And ofc you don't have to apologize for that sake of others.

Now onto the second part....

I'm going to explain to others what it's like being a writer. I get carpal tunnel, I have back problems way beyond my years, my eyes get really strained from staring at a screen for so long, I forget to eat while in a writing frenzy, I obsesses over the smallest details of my plot, I do hours of research, I have episodes of insomnia, I pace so much my downstairs neighbors hate me, I focus so much on my fictional story that it's hard for me to even be in the present and pay attention to the real world around me and whenever I have writer's block I get really depressed/anxious and resign myself to be a failure.

Blowing up my inbox to be rude and demand content just makes me feel even worse. Because the truth is, this is a very taxing thing that I do; mentally, emotionally and in extreme cases physically. I started sharing my stories because it gave me joy, sure it was a bitch sometimes but the end result was always worth it. But to be harassed over something that I am NOT obligated to give you and in fact go through GREAT LENGTHS to deliver to you, is not what I came here to do.

You love my story? Thank you so much. You feel a special connection to the characters or plot? I'm very honored that I struck that cord with you. You think I'm a lazy bitch for not updating it more often? Well, you don't OWN the story. I do. And if I'm seeing more cons than pros to uploading my works on Tumblr, best believe I'll stop. If you love a creator's works, you should nurture and respect them. None of you even know my real name or life circumstances. There could be many reasons why I don't post. And writer's block makes it so whatever I attempt to write turns out to be shit, and I would rather give you guys higher quality chapters than watered down fillers.

If you like my stories, you WILL respect me. Because I have the power to take away all the content I ever gave you. Not even the power, but the fucking right to do so.

[simtanico]

Hi! I don't know if this is an annoying/difficult question, sorry if it is, but do you have any advice at all for modelling sims based off real people? Your sims are SO crazy good. When I try to make them they end up looking... eh... Vaguely like the person? But there's a huge gap between that and some kind of 'spark' some simmers seem to manage to capture.

Hello! Definitely not annoying. Difficult, as in how difficult it is to answer? Maybe. I'm gonna go off on a couple of tangents. But I'm gonna try my best to explain the process. Which isn't really much of one sorry.

There's a handful of tutorials and tips out there regarding reference photos and like... proportions and all that so I won't cover that.

I use that as a general guide of course, but mostly I just save some photos of the person at various angles and focus on one feature or two at a time. Literally going back and forth between reference photo and my game. I think if you try to get everything at the same time, it really makes it easy to get frustrated with whatever your sim looks like at the moment. Making sims in general is a combination of a LOT of things depending on your style.

I can point out ALL the flaws with my sims based on real people. In my experience, it’s about getting the defining features of a person close enough to the real thing so that it resembles them. I don't think you need a complete copy to get the point across, however i do think some people and features are harder to emulate than others. I've been working on some sims for YEARS, and they still don't work out lol

and take a look at this progression on my sim based on Z4ne H0ltz starting back in 2015!

that first screenshot:

Personally, I get a little lost if I work on a sim too much all at once. I find some time away makes me less tired and frustrated. Just pace yourself :)

Also if you need any help, shoot me a message here or on discord. I promise I don't judge or anything.. it's sims who cares lol

TO START...

I suggest starting with the head and its shape. Starting off with a game-generated sim, the first slider I get to is head width. It's usually too dang wide for my tastes. And then adjusting the general position of the the features. You can always change things later, so you don't have to know exactly what you're going to do, but as I've mentioned before, sculpting sims up in CAS is just practice with sliders! Also in the long run, you may want to use Pu+Chi House's Smooth Face Normals slider! I attempt to explain and show what it does here. I've uploaded the slider here: https://simfileshare.net/download/984204/

This is gonna be a doozy sorry in advance if the read more doesn't work

SLIDERS SLIDERS SLIDERS

Big sliders like Pu+Chi House’s face shape sliders dramatically change the face shape, and it could save you a lot of time! I highly suggest using these to get rid of the weird large jaw sims can get.

Play with different sliders and how they interact with one another! Example: jaw width and Cheek Fullness affect the same area. if you need a wide jaw and don’t want cheek distortion, you can use cheek fullness, lower the jaw width slider and then edit the cheekbones from there

 Knowing what sliders move what and how it can work to your advantage is key! I cover this in my reply post about noses.

For visual reference:

I start out with my nose but I want the nostrils to sit further on the outside

so i go in and use the nose width slider and raise it to widen the lower nose:

Then lower the nostril scale slider

Comparison:

as you can see, i kind of achieved what I wanted, but also widened the nose tip too! Welp, that takes another slider I have, Tip Width. And I'll adjust that accordingly! It's really just a matter of what you're going for and what you're going to have to compensate for as a result!

That said, our community has made some awesome sliders that open up so many possibilities and even eliminate the need to do that multi-slider tango. I wouldn't even know where to begin (wish I wanted to make videos because I could talk for an hour about sliders)

For example @pitheinfinite made sliders that can make sims look better and more realistic, I'm jealous at what they've achieved!

They have their Inner Corner to Nose slider that moves an area of the sim's face hat make eyebags and the shadows and lines appear farther out from the inner eye. It saves you from having to use cheek sliders to mimic the effect and thus ruining the face shape you have going

It's truly an INDISPENSABLE slider. One of many!

Since I make sliders, I usually just make some to specifically fix whatever issue I'm having. Granted they're made with general function in mind, which makes my cheater-y way of making things happen more useful in the future. I have about 50 experimental unfinished sliders in my game and can tell you that all my current sims use them for some reason or other. So I'm not working with nothing, I guess?

EYE SPY 👁

The best way to really get nice accurate looking sims is the eyes.

Pay attention to the slant of the eye, the shape and position of the upper and lower eyelids. you can use the game’s Eyelid Height slider, and AWT’s Eyelid width and height sliders (and many more)

and especially where the iris (green) sits relative to the eyelid. getting that shape and eyeball positioned correctly really makes a HUGE difference

I do suggest Bloom’s Eye slider (left and right) that rotate the eyes left and right. That along with their Lazy eye sliders can give your sims a less symmetric face and position the eyes to be FAR more accurate and realistic than the default.

I also recommend their vertical sliders (Eye lift or drop) to help with eye positioning.

I can't stress the importance of the right contacts or eyes for your sims. Of course it all depends on how you make your sims's eyes and all that. Take the last sim i posted about. It took forever and a half to find the right contacts that didn't need severe or intense editing to capture the same vibe the person he's based on. The problem is pretty persistent for me, and I am just speaking for myself when I say this is necessary. Iris size, shading, recolorability, detail, catch lights, and pupil position are things to consider for your play style and preferences.

In addition to seeing what eyes will do the trick, I do edit the catch lights in the screenshots to give the eyes a different emotion or look. (I use defaults that get rid of the game-generated catch lights, and supernatural eye glow.) It's nice when that's all it is and I don't have to go in and photoshop things in and out to make them look human lmao

Perfect, schmerfect

And just know that as long as you have the same vibe or look going on it doesn't need to be perfect! Things will evolve over time, and you can change and perfect things as you go along, but close is better than trying to achieve an exact replica. We are working with the limitations of sliders and the optimized meshes they work on! So yeah there might be jagged bits or the profile might not exactly match and some things might not be accurate, but that's okay! Considering what sims look like at their default, you should be proud! I use the same mf eyebrows on all my sims basically and I tell myself they're just placeholders (yeah, right), but I manage to make them work with what I have!

Sliders, Makeup, and Skins, oh my!

a good base skin is critical, but not the end of the world if you pick the wrong one. They determine kind of definition and types of features highlighted on a sim 100000% and you might lose a feature you like or dislike when you change them! Feel free to switch up between skins you have to find the best fit.

Makeup can be a game-changer though!!! Any details you can add and help make your sim look the most like the person you're basing them off can go MILES.

In some cases, I've actually gotten really interesting results trying to get my sculpt as close as possible to real life references so the makeup makes a difference but don't define the features by themselves. Still, though, I utilize makeup up a LOT. [remember that if you use Nraas, you can layer makeup. Right-clicking makeup will also remove it if it's applied :)]

Here's the last sim i posted about when removing makeup:

no nosemasks really replicates the face-claim's nose (too shiny at the lower part) but it'll do 🤷‍♀️

Freckles, eyebags, highlighters, face shadows, pores, nosemasks, etc are all great!!

The way you move your sliders WILL effect how these look, so don't rely on makeup that adds super-specific detail or goes over an area you know is a jumbled mess because of sliders!

I do have a mess of recommendations and wcifs for skins and makeup. replies tag | wcif tag

[also I love compiling wcif cc lists for my sims it's great]

Finally, I appreciate your comment about my sims, mainly because I know they're not ever really exact copies or as close as I want to be to their real life counterparts, so thanks!! I've seen fellow simmers get really good results without messing as much as I do and I love when people can make really good maxis match likenesses because it's just so damn cool! It's truly a talent. I'm not one of those lucky few, but I like to try my way at it anyway. After what feels like some good progress I'll post a pic here. Even after doing this forever I don't feel like I'm an expert or can get good results in a shorter amount of time, but it's just fun to see the progression (or regression) of how my sims look.