#this is assuming we ever get another sander sides video

[squidsandthings]

Orange eyed Logan theories go!

The orange side is sleep and logan's got orange eyes cause he hasn't slept since learning new things about himself. This also explains why he's angy since he is tired and also cranky.

[dukeofonions]

In today's episode:

With news of his head writer/director leaving the team still fresh, Sanders posts a video of the side's for Pi Day.

People of course caught the fact that Logan was wearing his old tie, and of course brought up how that only happened before when Janus was being him.

Thomas' reply? Basically, "The new tie was wrinkly", followed by, "i completely forgot Janus used the old tie that's on me lolol"

The man literally doesn't remember points in "his own" series. Points that are arguably not even small. Again, this as worries around his head writer/director leaving are still fresh, as the news isn't even old yet.

Reminds me of the time they apparently did a "How Big A Fander Are You" "how well do you know the show" type quiz on stream, and he missed SO MANY if not most of the questions...

To say nothing of how taking 5 minutes to iron a tie is apparently a hurdle in his book.

To say even more nothing about how he admitted that he completely forgot the Janus tie point and that it was on him an hour after posting. This, a smaller issue.

Hopes of any arcs getting closure look grim(mer).

More at 11. Now to the weather... -♠

Thank you Ace of Spades Anon.

Today's forecast calls for scattered plot threads and unresolved conflicts that will be mostly be resolved off screen in an unsatisfying manor.

Also for those of you eagerly awaiting the season finale, I'm afraid another episode of Asides has appeared on the radar and has taken over production of the season two finale. While our sources originally predicted that these Asides wouldn't delay plans for Sanders Sides, it seems these little episodes have developed into something much more severe.

We advise our viewers to take following measures to ensure that you weather the coming Asides as safely as possible:

1. Assume that the Asides takes place directly after which ever episode (Asides or Sides) preceded it until Thomas confirms via a social platform where it takes place within the time line.

2. Try to keep in mind that while these Asides look like they should be short, fluffy episodes, they are in fact just as angst ridden as the actual series. If you are under the impression that your favorite characters will finally get a chance to simply be happy and enjoying themselves then set yourself up for disappointment now before it's too late.

3. Be aware that the characters may act in a way that doesn't make much sense in regards to the main series. If you'd rather not lose the impact of their character moments in Sides then it's best to hide out this Asides in your nearest shelter and let it pass. Find someone to recap the video for you if you're wanting to at least get an idea of what has happened.

We shall continue to track Asides from the safety of our studio and updates will be provided as it develops.

[ayellowcurtain]

The "Sander and Robbe are video game people and they cuddle and enjoy their time together for a week” series

It’s still Thursday, they have at least three more days of this perfect life to live but that’s not how Sander’s brain works, he’s always thinking too far ahead, unable to think about the chill present when the future is exactly the last thing he wants. So he’s not present enough to enjoy this moment, keeps feeling sad for what’s to come in a few days.

He tries to find a comfortable position to move to but his back is hurting a little bit no matter how comfortable he tries to get. They’ve spent way too much time on his bed so his body is desperate for some actual movement, for his legs to walk a few steps and for his back to not be pressed against the hard headboard or the mattress but it’s also too comfortable to think about making any effort to change positions or move away from Robbe. The less you do, the less you want to do, that’s what it feels like.

His hair is a mess, Sander can feel the trails Robbe’s fingers left while running his fingers through his hair earlier, so distracted to notice, and Sander didn’t mind it at all, just watched as Robbe looked at it, carefully running his fingers through his bleached hair, sometimes squeezing a little when Sander couldn’t help but move up and kiss him slowly again.

This is his first time ever with a boy and so it’s Robbe’s and Sander doesn’t want it to end. Not on Sunday, not ever.

It’s not like they have done much more other than play video games, kiss, have sex and eventually eat some food they can quickly make to rush back to bed, but Sander feels the urge to live everything with Robbe while staying inside, hidden in the perfect bubble they created inside his home. Sander never loved this apartment more. It feels more like a home now than ever before. All because of this good looking boy that’s been staying with him. Robbe is the embodiment of warmth and love and Sander wants to hold him every single second of his life.

He pushes himself to the edge on the mattress and puts his feet on the ground, finally fixing his hair a little bit, deciding to go look for Robbe that went to make them some coffee and never came back.

Sander wonders if being addicted to a human being is as bad for him as any other addiction. If it’ll make him messier than he already is by nature because he’s more than willing to test it if it means to be this happy with someone else. He saves that thought for his next session with his therapist.

“I think this is the best coffee I ever made.” Sander looks up, smiling as he watches Robbe put the coffee pot on his nightstand with the two mugs he brought in his other hand.

“Yeah?” He holds Robbe by his shirt and makes him sit on his lap again, putting his arms around his waist and under his shirt, feeling the peach-fuzz-like hair on the small of his back.

“Yes.” Robbe whispers softly, quietly biting the corner of his bottom lip, “Do you want some?”

“In a minute…” Sander smiles, nuzzling against Robbe’s warm neck, kissing his skin softly, holding him tighter around the waist when Robbe melts on his lap, letting Sander hold his whole weight, tilting his head to his right to give Sander more access to his skin to explore fully.

He carefully pushes Robbe’s worn out shirt up, helping him pull it out of each arm and then his head, smiling before kissing Sander on the lips. He smiles, unable to think of anything he wants more in life than to keep kissing every inch of this boy sitting on his lap.

Sander quickly swirls them around, putting Robbe back on the bed with a surprised laughter, watching as Sander kisses his sternum, their eyes staring at each other still, Robbe’s shy hands come back to his hair, carefully, not holding, not pushing, just there, while he watches Sander going down his body slowly to not miss a spot while pushing his underwear off his legs.

Sander smiles against his hips, brushing his nose against the warm and soft skin, watching how Robbe’s skin is sensible and all the tiny hairs are up, so raw.

His alarm interrupts such an intimate moment it feels like it’s ten times louder than normal. Robbe jumps on the bed too and Sander sighs, stopping what he was doing to move back up on the bed, lying on top of Robbe, very much pressing their hips together while he reaches for his phone, a reminder that he has class in five minutes.

“Shit, I forgot I have class…”

“What?! No, you don’t…” Robbe says out of breath and Sander feels proud for leaving him like that so easily, so far from being done. He puts his forehead against Robbe’s shoulder, frustrated too but he can’t miss any more classes, no matter if it’s just him sitting in front of his computer for an hour, pretending to be listening to anything his teacher is saying while wishing he was in bed, naked, with Robbe.

“It’s just one, so we’ll come back to this…”

Robbe sighs, kissing his temple, taking his arms off of him so Sander can push himself up on his knees, in between Robbe’s legs, still so very naked and tempting. He squeezes his thighs and rushes out of bed before he misses another class.

The same grey button-up he used for yesterday’s classes is still hanging behind his chair so he grabs it, carefully buttoning all the way up, grabbing his computer and notepad to go to the living room, leaving his bedroom for Robbe to relax and just wait.

Robbe covered himself with the sheets while he was putting some clothes from the waist up and he looked so comfortable lying there on his side, pouting a little bit.

“One hour, promise.” Sander whispers against his lips before rushing out of his bedroom, already accepting the video call.

He tries not to be the one guy smiling for no reason during class, doodling Robbe’s profile while he listens to his teacher and classmates, making some notes whenever he feels like he needs to. There’s not much noise coming from anywhere else in the house so he assumes Robbe is taking a nap.

The sun is starting to set outside, paying the living room and kitchen a warm orange so while his teacher is trying to find the archive to send them to use for their homework, Sander rushes around the island to grab two beers inside the fridge, a little bit of a happy hour with himself for watching this whole class and not finding an excuse to leave early to go wake up his sleepy boyfriend. Time is nonexistent this week, from coffee to beer in a matter of an hour and Sander doesn’t feel anxious because of it, the lack of a solid routine to follow. It’s a nice change of pace for once, and he’s happy he’s not feeling anything slowly starting to creep inside of him because of the change.

He opens the can offscreen and slowly not to make a noise anyone would recognize as someone opening a beer. There’s not much homework to do, the book he’s supposed to read he already did a few months back out of curiosity so the essay shouldn’t be that hard to write. He can do it while Robbe is taking a shower later.

He says goodbye to everyone, and ends the video call, putting some music to listen in the background as he tries to rewrite his notes in order, enjoying his beers and the sunset outside the big windows across the room. Writing starts to get more difficult all of a sudden and Sander blinks a few times, sitting up straight, looking forward, realizing it’s completely dark already.

His back is hurting from looking down for so long and it’s been an hour since his class ended. He’s starving too, and Robbe must be tired of waiting already so he leaves everything as they are on the kitchen island, throws the cans on the recycling bin and turns the lights on, scrolling down the food app on his phone, opening the bedroom door carefully, trying not to wake Robbe if he’s still asleep.

“Hi…” He whispers, putting his phone in his shirt pocket noticing how the two top buttons slipped open at some point. Robbe is awake or about to be awake, moving slowly underneath the sheets, opening and closing his hands to see if they’ll function normally soon enough, frowning, annoyed with the light coming from the outside so Sander pushes the door to close it almost completely.

“I fell asleep?”

Sander nods his head, carefully throwing himself over Robbe’s legs, feeling his eyes heavy too, envious of the hours Robbe had of the most delicious nap. His body is a little too hot for his liking, and he can’t wait to be naked too but it sounds like so much work…

Robbe laughs softly, “And you’re drunk.”

Sander wets his lips slowly, thinking about that, opening his arms to help him express himself, “Not drunk drunk but maybe I had a few beers with an empty stomach…”

He turns to lie on his side, feeling how his weight is squeezing Robbe’s thighs a little too much, “But! I am starving now so maybe we could order something?”

Robbe smiles, still blinking slowly, so comfortable and relaxed, nodding his head.

[lovelivingmydreams]

Paper Flowers: The Prince’s Enemy

You liked it so I made more of it!

Part 1 over here. Enjoy!

You sit in your room relaxing before dinner. Homework’s done and social media isn’t going to check in on itself. You are replying to a post one of your friends placed on their wall when a notification pops up. ‘Thomas Sanders just posted a new video’.

You smile as you finish your message and click the notification. Thomas is one of your favorite creators. And it’s insane what he can do in six seconds.

The first thing you notice is that it is a return of the prince character. It makes you smile.

Who doesn’t love a real life Disney prince?

“Stop you fiend!” the prince declares, standing in what looks like an old concrete building, which probably was meant to create the illusion of an old fortress.

Then the angle shifts and… Wait that’s not one of Thomas’ friends playing a villain. That’s Thomas wearing a black hoodie with the hood up to mimic a cloak and black eye shadow to make him look more threatening. Which is a tall order for the human cinnamon bun.

“Prince Dude! My arch nemesis!” villain Thomas growls.

Then the prince comes back into view. He looks shocked.

“Wait…” he dramatically brings a hand to his chest. “I’m your arch nemesis?” he asks... Why does he sound so emotional?

Villain Thomas comes back into view and looks… Flustered? What?

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to assume…”

Wait. This is… This is like someone calling their SO boyfriend or girlfriend for the first time. OMG this is the cutest!

“No!” Prince rushes as he comes back into view. “I just didn’t…” he sighs and shakes his head. “Shall we?” He asks as he raises his sword ready to continue their battle.

Villain Thomas comes back into view and smirks as he raises his own weapon and nods.

“Prepare to die!” He declares letting out a battle cry. The camera shows Prince again who lets out a war cry of his own, charging in.

And that’s the end. You smile to yourself as you leave a like. You’re curious what other fanders think of this new character. Will he ever come back? You hope so.

“Roman it’s so nice of you to include Anxiety in the fun!” Patton cheered when he found out about the new villain character.

Virgil rolled his eyes. Of course Princey was getting praised. Not that it would occur to Patton how hard it’d been for Virgil to agree to let Thomas use his aesthetic, his identity, to create a new character. Or that his heart was racing at the thought of how much the fans would probably hate it.

“Think nothing of it Patton. I merely had the idea for a nemesis, and figured that if Thomas played the character himself it would minimize speculation of the fans on any hidden meaning behind the skits. They are almost more eager to see Thomas find a partner than I am, and none of our friends need that kind of attention on them. So when it came to picking out a look, Anxiety’s… Style, seemed fitting. That’s all,” Roman explained, surprising Virgil.

Roman was passing up on the chance to bask in the praise? Praise he deserved, maybe… A little. Virgil knew that this whole thing was an olive branch from the Prince to him.

And honestly it was kind of a fun skit. Thomas had a lot of fun making it… But here Roman was, downplaying his good intentions and how thoughtful he’d been about it. He’d asked Virgil’s permission to do this. He never asked Logan or Patton to use their looks for the dad or the teacher character.

“Speaking off the raisin cookie… Anxiety!” Roman called. Virgil looked up from where he was sulking against the kitchen counter.

“What?” he scowled.

“I have a few more skit ideas you’ll probably want to criticize. Let’s get that over with shall we?” Roman suggested casually as he headed to his room.

Virgil made a point to sigh and roll his eyes in annoyance, grumbling under his breath as he usually would. Patton might not pay enough attention to him to notice anything amiss, but Virgil was pretty sure Logan would ask questions if the two of them started to act too different.

He entered the fanciful side’s room and took a look around. It was a nice place honestly. Both similar and opposite to his room somehow.

“Soooo… How did you like the skit?” Roman asked eagerly.

Virgil shrugged. “It was alright. Thomas really enjoyed it,” he allowed.

Roman grinned, happy he got some sort of positive feedback from the usually more sullen side.

“And um… It was really cool of you… What you said to Patton. You didn’t have to. You deserved some sort of, like, praise I guess, even if he didn’t know the real reason why you did,” Virgil muttered then.

Roman’s eyes widened. Did Anxiety just… Praise him? He hadn’t expected that. He’d corrected Patton because he didn’t want Anxiety to think that he was using their truce to earn extra brownie points with the fatherly side.

“Thank you Anxiety,” Roman bowed.

“Don’t mention it,” Virgil shrugged awkwardly.

There was a silence. Neither knew for sure how to continue from this point. Their interactions usually ended with one of them storming out of the room.

“Um… Want to watch some tv until Thomas checks up on the comments?” Roman suggested.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Virgil nodded.

Roman gestured to the couch and they sat down as far away from each other as possible.

Virgil chuckled as he realized Roman had put on Avatar.

“Is there a problem? Mr. moodbender?” Roman asked tensely. Clearly ready to call of the truce if Virgil criticized the show.

The anxious man shook his head. “No. Just surprised you’re not putting on Disney,”

Roman rolled his eyes. “I can love things that aren’t Disney, scorned king,” he huffed.

Virgil nodded, Princey had a point.

They both mouthed along to the opening narration and smirked at each other while the intro music played.

“So… What other things do you like Princey?” Virgil started casually.

Roman blinked in surprise, happy surprise that is. Anxiety was clearly making an effort, showing interest in making this truce evolve to a friendship. It was nice, to know that he was not the only one invested in this.

“Well it should come as no surprise to you that I adore all things musical.”

Virgil looked around to all the playbills and smirked. “I would’ve never guessed,” he teased getting a pillow to the face, though it was clearly in good humor.

“Sush!” Roman chuckled.

“Anyway. As I was saying…” Roman proceeded to talk about his favorite artists, some of which Virgil admitted to liking as well and Virgil, in return talked about his favorites as well.

“Oh wait…” Virgil suddenly interrupted as his attention was caught by the screen. Momo had entered the story.

“This is the part where I got respect for this show,” Virgil divulged.

“Why’s that?” Roman wondered.

“Well, on the one hand you have the first time you realize that Zuko isn’t bad. Cause he spares the commanders life. And on the other, the show literally looked at their demographic and said: you kids can handle some genocide. Here is an actual body, confirmed to belong to a character our protagonist cared about,” Virgil explained. “They don’t look down on the kids that watch the show. And they made that clear, very fast. I respect that.”

Roman thought about that, and he could see Anxiety’s point.

“Yes, I suppose they didn’t hide their vision for the show at all,” he nodded.

They continued watching the episode in comfortable silence, both silently noting that they’d moved closer together during their conversation, now only leaving enough distance for both of them to still keep their personal bubble intact.

“I guess it’s been an hour now…” Virgil muttered as the end credits played. Roman nodded as he paused the tv. Thomas would soon give in and see if anyone had reacted to his recent post.

“It’ll be alright. Worst case scenario, they don’t like it and we don’t bring the character back,” Roman assured the younger aspect. “I’d be a little disappointed, because I have tons of ideas for your character. But we’ll think of something else,” he assured Virgil, not willing to give up on his plan to make Anxiety feel more wanted in some way because of one hypothetical set back.

“What if people stop following Thomas because…”

“Anxiety, we’ve posted videos of much lower quality than this one and they didn’t make people run for the hills,” Roman countered.

Virgil nodded but curled in on himself anyway. Roman sighed.

“Things are as they are, we can’t change them now so we might as well face the music. Alright?”

Virgil took in a deep breath and nodded. That made sense.

“Okay. Let's do this,” he sighed.

Roman smiled and nodded as they watched Tomas ‘casually’ check notifications.

Oh no, Virgil thought as he could feel the way Thomas' heart skipped a beat when he saw all the likes and shares popping up.

“Comments!!!” Roman cheered.

And indeed. The Fanders had left several comments already. Some keyboardsmashes, some big eyed or hearteyed emoji's. Some one word exclamations like ‘Adorable’, ‘wholesome’ and even ‘perfection’.

Virgil couldn't help smiling as Thomas' excitement grew. He was about to be outed, he knew it.

But he didn't care that much right now.

Because someone demanded Thomas make more vines with his villain character. And another joked that they should call Disney because they found the new big hit Disney Channel show.

He couldn't stop himself from letting out a soft sound of excitement as he played with the sleeves of his hoodie to release some energy. He wanted to jump up and down and scream, Thomas was so happy.

“By Hermes' Sandals! Anxiety! Your eyeshadow!” Roman exclaimed. He'd heard his fellow side’s uncontainable  excitement and had looked up, unable to pass up the chance to see the closed off side smile. He had not been ready for this. The layer of white foundation seemed to be less thick revealing it was hiding freckles underneath. That was not the most important part though. The usually black, smudged eyeshadow was brilliant and sparkly and a royal purple.

Anxiety blushed upon being caught but didn’t really stop smiling.

“Yeah, that happens when Thomas gets really excited. Don't make it a big deal,” he shrugged. Roman nodded, understanding that Anxiety meant to ask him not to mention it to the others.

He felt a sense of accomplishment well up inside him. Surely Anxiety had known there was a good chance Thomas would get excited upon seeing the responses to the skit. If he wanted it to be a secret he could've excused himself and hid in his room until the effect wore off. But he hadn't. He'd stayed and taken the risk of being seen. Roman wondered what he’d said or done to make the hooded man want to open up like that. Maybe he’ll ask, some other time.

“Anyway, good job Roman. Seems you’re stuck with me,” Virgil winked as he got up, pulling his hood over his face so he could hide his state until he got to his room.

“Princey , is stuck with the hooded fiend,” Roman corrected. “but I don’t think he minds. And neither do I,” he added while he basked in the glow of the complement.

Virgil felt his smile widen just a bit as he saw how happy Roman was with all this.

Once you gave him a chance he wasn't that annoying.

Virgil had found himself going from wanting someone to not hate him, to wanting Roman to like him over the course of their conversation. Their truce had been tense and awkward up until now. But even so, it had been going surprisingly well. Virgil could tell Roman was looking out for him. By distracting the others when Virgil felt cornered by example. And Virgil had tried to help Princey out as well. Making him go to bed, trying to push Thomas towards creating more content and trying his hardest not to be too, well, mean about actually posting it. And when he sensed Roman was getting overwhelmed by the spotlight he took the attention away from him too.

And now he had shown Roman that he was right. There was more to him than just anxiety. Sometimes he was bright, bouncy and sparkling excitement.

“It suits you by the way,” Roman added, janking Virgil back to the present.

Virgil froze for a second finding he had his hand on the door handle. “Um… thanks, see ya later,” he muttered before rushing out.

He was about to enter his room when he heard someone else call out to him.

“Anxiety kiddo, are you and Roman finished?” The question was friendly enough in and of itself, but as always Patton sounded tense when talking to him which set Virgil on edge. He wasn't that scary right? What did he do to make Patton so scared to be around him?

Sure he was trying to make them keep some distance. But he was going for cautious, not this.

He didn't know what he'd done and he wasn't willing to risk repeating it, so he kept was careful about keeping enough distance between himself and the resident dad as a rule. Now he had an extra reason though.

Virgil nodded, not looking up. Patton's precense might make him nervous in a less fun way, but a comment that called his character adorable flashed through his mind and set loose another swarm of butterflies. Easily overpowering the unease in the hallway. He was definitely still sparkly.

And if Patton saw, he'd ask about it. And Virgil would have to explain, trapping both of them in this conversation far longer than either wanted. Worse what if seeing evidence of a less broody side of him made Patton feel like he had to make an effort? He'd already managed to make Princey feel like he had to be kind to him. And sure that might be turning into something genuine, but that didn't mean things would work out so well for the others.

Another door opened. “Padre! There you are! I was just about to come looking for you. I had the most marvelous idea!” Virgil chanced a glance at the hallway and saw Roman drag a surprised Patton into his room. The prince locked eyes with him for a second and gave him a reassuring smile and a wink.

Virgil nodded, sending Roman a grateful half-smile, before entering his room.

Virgil had spent mostly all of Thomas' happiest moments in his room. Partly to hide his secret, first from J and Rem who'd probably tease him about it, and now from  Thomas' golden three who would never take him serious again if they knew. Or well, two of them, Roman knew now…

Anyway, there was another reason. His room was very nice to be in when excitement dominated Virgil's functions.

It was the same, but lighter. The curtains were open, the clock was no longer a maddening reminder of the never ceasing passage of time, and the spider webs sparkled with dewdrops. Virgil took in a deep breath, even the air was more breathable.

What was it he wanted to scream about again?

Right.

He let himself belly flop onto his bed and screamed.

The fanders liked it! And more importantly, Roman might actually be his fried now. He could relate to the villain character right now. Were they friends? They had each other’s back, had bonded over common interests, shared a secret…

Would Roman consider them friends?

Maybe he was getting ahead of himself due to the butterflies. But it was definitely going that way.

Virgil turned around in his bed and looked up at the ceiling with a smile.

This was different than with Janus and Remus. They’d grown up together, they had to tolerate each other. But this was… Some sort of proof that he was likable. Roman didn’t have to hang out with him. He’d seen something in him and chosen to give him a chance.

He didn’t have to complement him, but he did and he didn’t turn it on himself right away as he tended to do.

Remus and Janus were… They just tended to trigger him more often than not. Not on purpose, he knew that, but he’d started having his meals upstairs for a reason.

He shook of that thought. It wasn’t important, he’d catch up with them later today or something. He was sure they’d have some things to say about the video. Maybe some of them would even be genuinely nice.

He smiled to himself. Look at him being optimistic.

Chapter 3: Green eyed jealousy

He was curious though, what he’d find around the river bend.

@selenechris

[anyarally]

Sanders Sides Secret Santa Gift!

@sanderssidesgiftxchange

For: @authorgirl0131  Wish 1: Intruloceit Christmas fluff Wish 2: Sympathetic Deceit whump Wish 3: Logan and Deceit Christmas fluff Ao3 (it’s formatted better on there lol)

Janus, Logan, and Remus Have the Best Christmas Ever

Janus is upset after SvS Redux, so Remus and Logan try to help. Plus Christmas fluff!

We are ethically compromised if we give him a seat at the table

Snake

Liar

Rude

Spiteful

Jealous

Evil 

Villain

The Light Sides’ words haunt Janus every night, only getting worse once Virgil leaves. The worst part is… he knows they’re not lying. Every insult, every implication, every rude remark, every single one was true. At least, to those who spoke them it was. 

He sits alone in his room every night, Remus usually coming to check on him. Tonight, though, is special. Janus just fought with all the Lights, and told them his name! It was one thing when Remus did it, he’s crazy and unpredictable! When Janus does it… it’s serious. 

Remus knocks aggressively on the ornate gold door, “Hey, ‘Anus?! You wanna hang out some? We could decapitate some of Roman’s dumb unicorns in the imagination, I sensed some trespassing earlier!”

Deceit startles on his bed, throwing back the covers (which he really shouldn’t be under this early in the evening) and mumbles just loud enough to hear, “Not tonight, Ree, I’m too tired.”

“Is it because of something they said again? I told them not to get to you, just because we’re different doesn’t mean we’re bad.”

“It doesn’t matter, Remus, just go take care of those unicorns. Maybe tomorrow we can hang out, ok?”

“Oh, um, ok. See you at dinner?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be up to it. Sorry.”

“Alright, let me know if you need anything?”

There was no response. Remus sighed, slumping away to his room. 

This went on for weeks. Every day, Janus would come out for breakfast, unhinge his jaw and eat enough for the day, even though he used to eat the same as Remus(in moderation, he refuses to eat eyeballs and pubic hair). Eventually, after about two and a half weeks, Remus had had enough.

When Janus slouched into the kitchen for his daily meal, Remus slammed his hand on the table, “You are coming with me to the imagination!”

“No, Remus. I’m too tired.”

“Nope, nuh-uh, none of that ‘tired’ bullshit, you’ve said that every day for the last month!”

“Re-”

“Nope nope nope! Come with me!” Remus yelled, grabbing Janus’s arm with an unsurprisingly terrifying grin on his face. 

Remus dragged Janus to the sickly stone mirror with green ooze globbing out that leads to the imagination, the snake complaining and protesting the whole way. 

Once they got there though, none of the things that usually made him happy worked. When Remus had him attack Roman’s unicorns, he only said he didn’t want to make their relationship with the Light Sides even worse. They visited Janus’s giant golden two-headed snake, Eilonwy and Ethelinda, and Janus couldn’t even look her in the eyes(either set of them!). Remus even tried having him watch live musicals by sneaking into Roman’s side of the imagination, but it only reminded him of the movie nights everyone but the Dark Si- now, just Janus were invited too. Remus had stopped going, but still.

After the day spent trying to cheer Janus up in the imagination had no success, Remus decided to bring in the big guns. 

The next day, Janus surprisingly didn’t get any visits from Remus. Just one text of a .gif that was weird as hell. 

The day after that, however, Janus heard three precise knocks at his door, at precisely 9:00 am. He yelled out, “Remus! Just stop already! I’m fine!” The only response was another precise three knocks at his door at 9:01 am. He only grunted and curled into his heated blanket more, assuming it’s just another one of Remus’s dumb pranks. 

After three knocks every minute on the minute for half an hour, Janus caved and opened the door, immediately protesting, “Remus, I swear to Thomas, I-” he stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up and saw who he was objecting to, “Logan?”

“Hello, De- Janus. Remus informed me he was concerned about you, so I have come to see,” Logan pulled out his notecards, “What is up?” 

Janus chuckled, pulling the door open wider, “Okay Logan, you can come in.” 

Janus puts his hat on as they walk inside, Logan looking around and noticing so much clutter. From what Remus had told him, Janus was a very organized person, almost obsessively so. Plus, the room wasn’t very warm at all, which cannot be good for someone cold-blooded. 

When Logan comments on this, Janus simply brushes him off, saying he hasn’t had the time to clean up and his usual heaters would be a fire hazard with the mess. 

They sit on some large extravagant armchairs in front of a fireplace, Logan favoring the black one with gold beading while Janus takes the deep yellow one with shiny black beading. 

As they sit down, Janus lights the fire with a wave of his hand, trying (and failing) to subtly change his outfit into a clean one from his closet. Logan notices, but decides not to comment. 

“So, what did Remus send you for again?”

“Well he didn’t exactly send me, per se, I reached out to him because I hadn’t seen you in a while, he said he would handle it, then he got me when that didn’t work.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, of course. I tried to bring it up to the other Light Sides, but they would not listen. Therefore, going to Remus, and consequently, you, was the best option.”

“Wow, uh, thanks, Logan, I really appreciate that. I assumed none of the Light Sides thought about how things would make us feel.”

“Granted, that is a fair assumption,” Logan quieted down, facing Janus’s bookshelves and silently reading the titles he has, mentally comparing it to books he’s read. 

Janus wanted to question Logan about that, but decided to try and get to the point gradually instead, saying, “Logan,” said Side looked up at Janus, “I just want you to know that I’m sorry.”

This made Logan pause and think. After about fifteen painfully silent seconds for Janus, Logan started speaking again, “I apologize, but I do not understand. What are you sorry for exactly?” 

“For, ya know, the last video.”

Logan stares at Janus.

Janus groans, “You’re really going to make me say it, huh? Okay, I’m sorry for taking your place earlier in the video.”

“Oh. Yes. That.” Logan stops, trying to formulate a response, “It is quite alright, Janus. While I was a bit hurt in the moment, I appreciate you figuratively beating some sense into the others.”

“Are you sure that you’re actually alright, though?”

“I… well, I do wish you had simply told me.” After Janus sends Logan a questioning look, Logan adds, “I know I would’ve been happy to step down and even let you disguise yourself as me, you didn’t need to knock me out. With those two, it’s very… difficult to get them to actually consider things, I know that first hand, so I entirely understand why disguising yourself as me was the most efficient way to get through to them.”

“Oh, I… I’m so sorry Logan, I hadn’t even considered that. I’m just used to expecting a no, I…”

“As stated before, it’s quite alright. Besides, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

“What do you mean?”

Logan sighs, looking down at his shoes, “I should’ve spoken up sooner. About the Lights’ treatment of you, I mean. They were unnecessarily cruel to you, and I just stood by. I was… scared. I almost spoke up when Virgil hissed at you when you came to get your hat back from Roman, but I don’t know the whole story between you and Virgil, and I didn’t want to impose. Additionally, I…” Logan took a deep breath, doing a round of the 4, 7, 8 exercise Virgil taught them, “I was scared of being left out. I know I’ve said I don’t have feelings, but I was,” Logan chuckles, “deceitful, in that aspect.”

“Logan,” Janus seemed to be on the brink of tears of relief, “thank you so much. That means so much to me, I… hey, uh, would you want to come over for a movie night this Friday? I know movie nights with the Lights are on Saturdays, so…?”

“That sounds delightful,” Logan started to get up, “I will see you then. I apologize, but I must go. Thomas needs me at my best, I sense he’s about to start editing a new video.”

“No worries, Logan, I’ll see ya Friday.” 

And so, Logan came over that Friday, and the Friday after that. After weeks of being holed up in his room, Janus started to come out more often, and Remus was very happy to see more of him. Logan started coming over every Friday, and as time went on, he even started coming over more often just to enjoy Remus and Janus’s company. Sometimes, he would visit Remus’s side of the imagination with them, other times, he would exchange books with Janus and discuss them, and eventually, he would even start inviting Janus and Remus over to view the constellations with him as he explained them and showed them the stars with his telescope. 

This went on for months, and eventually, the Light Sides noticed. Whenever asked, though, Logan only stated he needed more time to himself. They laid off for a while, but eventually, it got a little suspicious, especially when they started hearing other voices coming from his room. 

Finally, Patton decided to investigate. He heard the voices in Logan’s room while getting him for famILY dinner, and leaned up against the door before knocking. 

“And here you’ll see MACS 2129-1, often referred to as the ‘Zombie Galaxy,” Logan happily explains.

“Oh fuck yes!” Remus yells, in turn causing a chuckle to emanate from Janus. 

Logan chuckles as well, “Fuck yes indeed, Remus,” Patton gasps almost involuntarily but stays quiet enough so no one notices, “This massive, disk-shaped galaxy spins twice as fast as the Milky Way does, but it's still not nearly as active. Hubble observations of the distant galaxy reveal that it hasn't made stars for approximately 10 billion years. MACS 2129-1 is what's known as a ‘dead galaxy,’ since stars no longer form there. Scientists believed that galaxies of this sort had formed by merging with smaller galaxies over time, but MACS 2129-1's stars didn't form from these sorts of explosive mergers; they formed early on, in the disk of the original galaxy. The findings suggest that dead galaxies somehow internally rearrange their structure as they age rather than changing shape because they combine with other galaxies. I, er, I’m sorry I’m babbling, aren’t I?”

Janus shushes Logan, “No, Logan, we’ve been over this,” Janus gently places his hand on Logan’s slowly reddening cheek, “We love to hear you talk, especially about things that make you happy. Isn’t that right, Remus?”

“Hell yeah, Lo! I love hearing you get so excited about stuff, and I love learning about the stars with you, you’re a great teacher!” 

By now, Patton had decided he didn’t want to intrude, he was proud of his kiddos. Logan, for reaching out and making more friends, and Janus and Remus for making Logan feel loved in a way that Patton just couldn’t seem to. He leaned back from the door and walked by, deciding to text Logan to let him know about dinner so he could come if he wanted but he didn’t have to cut his time with the Dark Sides short. 

Meanwhile, Logan looked down at his phone and sighed.

“What is it, Lo-Lo?” Remus tilted his head so far to the left his head broke off.

As Remus smacked his head back in place, Logan sighed, “Patton says dinner’s about to start. I really should go.”

“You don’t have to, Logan, you know that right?”

“Yes, I’m aware but I haven’t gone all week and I’m concerned the Lights will think I’m not eating at all. I wouldn’t want Patton to get… upset.”

“Okay, okay, we all remember when Patton went all Hop Pop.”

Logan looked at both of them again with a small, but genuine, smile, dropping it as he sank down to the Light Side’s dining room. 

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least. 

Patton tried to break the ice, “So, Logan, you’ve been spending a lot of time in your room?”

There was a long, long pause.

“Apologies, I now realize that was a question. I assumed it was a statement. Yes, I have been spending a lot of time in my room.”

“May we ask why?” Roman sarcastically asked.

“I find that I’m more productive when I stay in my room.”

“Well, I’ve heard some other voices coming from your room…” Patton hesitantly added. 

“What are you insinuating, Patton.” Logan harshly said, not asked, eyes harsh and cold.

“Well, I, uh-”

Virgil gently cut off Patton’s scrambling, “You know that we won’t be mad if you want to hang out with Remus and Janus, right?”

“Right!” Patton started, “We were actually talking about it some earlier, and we’d love to start having them over for famILY meals too!”

Logan raised an eyebrow, “Is Roman on board with this?”

Roman sighed, “I may have some issues with my brother, but a true prince wouldn’t stop other relationships from forming just because he didn’t like the other party. I know Remus, and he won’t hurt you,” he thought back to the shuriken, “well, not permanently at least.”

Logan smiled, the first genuine smile he had shown the Light Sides in months. “I can tell them.”

“Wait, Logan,” Logan looks back at Patton, “Christmas is this Friday, and well I can’t think of a better day to expand our famILY!”

Logan chuckled, “I’ll let them know,” he started to head back to his room but paused and turned to look back at the Lights, “Oh, and I’m staying with them on Christmas Eve. Apologies.”

“No problem, Logan! Thanks for letting us know!”

Once Logan got back to his room, he gave the Dark Sides the news. “Remus, Janus, I have some news.”

Remus popped up from where he was looking at his newest dagger under Logan’s covers, “Oooh? What is it, Wolverine?”

“Patton, and subsequently the other Light Sides, have invited you two and I to a famILY meal on Christmas,” Logan noticed how Janus and Remus’s eyes lit up but ignored it in favor of finishing his announcement, “I have informed them that I will be with you on Christmas Eve.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great! So, you told them about us?” Logan sat at his chess table with Janus, “Well, technically they guessed, but yes. They asked about me spending time in my room, then stated they did not disapprove of our… relationship, I suppose.”

Janus smiled, “That’s great, Lo.”

That Christmas Eve, the trio sat around the fireplace in the Dark Side’s living room. They cuddled together under a Big Hero 6 blanket while watching Die Hard, which they all of course agreed was the best Christmas movie. They had stayed up pretty late, and once the movie was over, Remus started excitedly jumping up and down, “It’s after midnight! It’s officially Christmas!”

Logan sleepily checked his watch, “You are correct, but I do not see how this is currently relevant?”

“Now I can give you guys my presents!”

Remus kept bouncing on the balls of his feet until Janus happily sighed, “Alright, what did you get us?”

Remus squealed, “I’ll show you!” while running to his room.

Janus and Logan chuckled together until Logan spoke up, “I, ahem, got you gifts as well. Would it be adequate for me to go get them?”

“Sure, I actually got some for you guys too. We’ll all go get them and meet back here.”

Logan smiled, nodded, and sank out.

When they all returned, they all had light blushes on their faces. “Who would like to go first? In handing out their presents, that is.” Logan awkwardly asked. 

“I do!” Remus excitedly shouted. Logan and Janus were very much not surprised, and they all sat down on the carpet in front of the couch. 

Once they were seated, Remus yeeted the presents at their recipients, both of which catching their present with ‘oof’s. 

Janus ripped his open to reveal a long black cape with golden lining. He was about to start thanking Remus for the warm fabric when the clasp on it caught his eye. He looked closer, seeing a beautiful silver clasp depicting a snake and eight tentacles wrapping around a unicorn. Not trapping it, it felt more like… hugging. Protecting. He flipped it over to see an engraving, ‘J.L.R.’ “Thank you, Remus! I especially like the clasp, and the warmth and style are both surprisingly practical!”

Logan respectfully undid the poorly done tape and placed the wrapping paper to the side, opening the box to see some soft black and white fabric. When he took it out of the box and unfolded it, he saw it was a new unicorn onesie, this one black with stars instead of white, with a rainbow horn, lining, and wrists. Logan started to tear up, holding it back when he addressed Remus, “Thank you, Remus, this is… perfect.” 

Despite how calmly it was stated, Janus and Remus both knew how much something had to mean to Logan for him to call it perfect.

Logan went next, getting Janus a new heated blanket with his yellow two-headed snake logo on it, which he loved. Next, he looked at Remus, “So, I did some research, and I got you something. But before I give it to you, I require confirmation that you will not use this on another side.”

“Ooo! Is it a torture device!?”

“Yes. But you cannot have it until you at least promise me that you will not use this on another side. You can use it on as many of yours or Roman’s unsuspecting imaginary townspeople as you wish, but not. A. Side.”

“Jeez, Wolverine, I promise, okay?! Now gimme.” Remus made grabby hands at Logan.

Logan reached behind his back and emerged with a metal dark grey and green pear-shaped object. He holds it out to Remus and he grabs it, “Remus, this is a Pear of Anguish. The first known account of one is in the 17th century, and it is operated as so,” Logan gently pulls the device back from Remus’s hands and twists the circle at the top, making it pop out into expanding segments, “This simple pear would be placed inside the orifice of a person and then gradually expanded. The kindest use was in a person’s mouth where it would ultimately shatter the skull, causing death. More gruesome is when it was used on parts in the lower half of the body which was rarely fatal, but excruciating.” 

Remus giggled at ‘lower half of the body’ “Thank you so much, Logan! I can’t wait to try this out, you’re the best!”

Janus went last, giving Remus a silver tentacle-themed ear cuff, which he enjoyed very much, putting it on right away. Next, he gave Logan a gigantic telescope with stars and math equations all over it, with Logan’s logo big on the side. Logan teared up at the thoughtfulness and hugged Janus tight.

The three ended up spending the whole night and day following snuggling together watching cheesy Christmas romcoms, and drinking hot chocolate. 

That evening, on the Light Side of the mindscape, the Lights once again did a Secret Santa. Sadly, Janus and Remus weren’t included since their attendance was decided so late, but Patton made sure to get them each something.

Logan got Roman this year, so he got him a journal full of prompts in which he could write, draw, or brainstorm. Patton got Logan, and he made him a bunch of cupcakes with the Logan’s Berry Crofters Jam, which Logan was eternally thankful for. Roman got Virgil, and he got him a grey weighted blanket which he altered by sewing on purple plaid patches with white thread to match the emo’s hoodie. Virgil was thankful he got Patton, getting him a better gift than before by hand sewing small toys of all of them, sheepishly adding he’d make Remus and Janus too “I guess.” Patton got Remus a stuffed animal of a green octopus with a mustache and he got Janus a stuffed animal of a yellow snake with a bowler hat that had a small heater inside.

Everyone loved their gifts and had a great time, but Logan couldn’t decide what his favorite part of that Christmas was; unwrapping presents with the Dark Sides at midnight or eating Crofters-filled cupcakes with them late Christmas night when all the Light Sides had gone to bed.

[katelynn-a-fan]

An Eve to Remember

This is my gift of @destinys-dragon. I’ve had creative block for nearly a whole month... I cranked out more than half of this today in 4ish hours so I’m glad to finally be able to gift this to you. I picked one of your more complicated prompts (I think) to write, but I did it!

Ao3

Summary: Thomas Sanders is trying to get a good nights rest for Christmas the next day, but a confusing appearance in his own mind leads him down a different path to... his own living room? Not everything's the same in his mind but by golly he is going to help his Sides the best he can to make sure that that night is the best Christmas (eve) they've had yet.

Parings: LAMP and Dukeciet/Demus

Word count: 4902 / 4.9k

Warning: Disorientation, slightly disturbing visuals, (passionate) Kissing, 

Thomas took a few experimental blinks as the heady feeling of drowsiness slowly ebbed away. His hand sluggishly rubbed his brow, insistent on kneading the fuzziness in his head out. Maybe then he could remember exactly how he got there.

Where am I?

His eyes very, very slowly adjusted to surroundings as his hands skirted across the tile-

The… tile… under him?

Why is there tile under me? That shouldn't be there unless I’m-

“Oh, you’re finally here!” His own voice called out from above him, but that wasn’t something unknown to him. What was unknown to him is how he got to where he was at that moment.

Thomas craned his neck towards the familiar pair of Warby Parker glasses and the soft gray and light blue blur of Patton. Another agonizing blinks passed before Thomas’s eyes finally resolved Patton’s face and his… blue and grey Christmas sweater? Even with the different attire, Patton’s signature grin was just as wide as always.

“Huh… hey Patton… Um…” Thomas bit his lip, his eyes glancing at various features around him. Sticking his hand out, Patton’s grin dipped a few millimeters as Thomas accepted Patton’s hand. Quickly pulling him up, Patton smoothed his thumb over Thomas’s knuckles. 

“Yes, Thomas?” 

He lingered his gaze around the clear space he was in, the short hallway of his own apartment. His gaze scoured every inch of the space, and everything about it just screamed: Different! 

“This… isn’t my actual apartment.”

Smile tilting sideways on his face, Patton wrapped his hands fully around Thomas’s.

“Of course it isn’t, silly! You’re asleep right now!”

Thomas’s hands flexed a little between Patton’s hands.

“I am? I’ve never done this before though- Been here with you guys before, I mean.”

Gently turning his hands, Patton made his grip into a proper handhold and began to lead Thomas down the much, much longer than usual corridor.

Laughing slightly Patton turned back to Thomas with a very sly twinkle in his eye.

“Oh you have, you just don’t remember afterwards-”

“Wait what-”

“Daddy! You left me alone with the cookies and nothing to fuck and I got myself dirty!” 

Thomas jumped as he finally rounded the nonsensical corner into his dream kitchen. Remus was standing on the counter with a fair amount of beige matter spattering his outfit, hair, and even his moustache. 

Letting go of Thomas’s hand finally, Patton grabbed a rag and quickly dampened it in the sink before tossing it up to Remus. Immediately snatching it out of the air, Remus bounced on the balls of his feet before sitting on the counter instead and swinging his legs as he cleaned himself off.

“Here you go! I’m surprised you didn’t set the kitchen on fire like last time.”

Hands pausing on his face, Remus’s legs quickly stopped swinging as Remus’s eyes went wide and he pushed his bottom lip out in a pout.

“I only make a mess when I’m not actually making something! That time I wasn’t even cooking anything.”

Placing a hand on Remus’s shoulder, Patton squeezed Remus’s shoulder.

“Hey, I believe you. It’s not everyday we do this. I’m sorry I assumed-”

Remus brushed off Patton’s hand from his shoulder after a moment, but grabbed it just before it was too far. 

“Nah I’m kidding about being mad, dear Daddy! Fires are just one of the hazards of being me!” 

Making eye contact, Patton smiled at Remus once again.

“Well that’s good! Thomas is here, though I think you knew that already.”

A smirk immediately plastered onto Remus’s face as he glanced over to where Thomas had been shifting from foot to foot in the kitchen entrance. 

“Ah, our resident Thomas the Dank Engine! Have you ever had dreams of sugar dicks dancing through your head?”

Thomas’s smile slowly turned wooden as a bitter taste invaded his mouth at Remus’s words. Skin crawling slightly, Thomas swallowed down a small lump in his throat before he managed to reply. 

I just want something wholesome. I don’t want to be thinking of that when I’m watching my parents or when I myself open presents.

“Uh, no…?”

“Well you just might have some after tonight!” Cackling, Remus stood back up on the counter before impossibly scurrying up the cupboards. The ceiling stretched impossibly high and out so that Remus slowly became just a pair of eyes in a dark cavern above the kitchen. Luckily, the moment didn’t last long and just as fast, Remus was scrambling down the cupboards once again to sit on the counter beside Patton.

Patton’s expression didn’t betray anything other than acute disinterest, however his hands silently tumbled over each other for a few moments.

“Well, Thomas, come here! We’re baking everything for the others!” Waving his hand invitingly, Patton gestured also to the oven where the oven light revealed a tray of cookies, a full blown turkey, a slab of ham, as well as some other things that managed to fill the impossibly big oven.

Thomas finally stepped forward.

Nose twitching a little, Thomas was suddenly bombarded with the strong smell of cookies.

“Whoa! This kitchen smells like the perfect Christmas, Pat!”

Chuckling, Patton wrapped his arms around Thomas in a quick hug.

“Well that’s the idea, kiddo!”

Squinting, he followed Patton with his eyes as Patton stepped back, the sensation of Patton’s embrace lingering on his skin.

“Did you just sneak in that hug because you ever get to in my videos? That hug seemed very targeted.”

Cheeks quickly turning pink, Patton nearly ducked his head away as he stepped back against the sink.

“That may be part of the reason.”

At that moment, the words embroidered on Patton and Remus' sweater finally revealed themselves.

Patton’s predictably read: Feliz Navi Dad and a Happy Blue Year.

But Remus’s was nearly illegible as the chaos of neon green on black made it almost unreadable, eventually, the words came together to spell out: I’m theTrashman and I’ll have all your wrapping paper.

Thomas opened his mouth to say something, but a sound in the short distance caught his attention instead. He turned towards the source, over the counter and surely into the living room, but was met with the strangely comforting void of black beyond it.

“What’s happening in the living room? And why can’t I see it?”

Glancing fleetingly at the black void, Patton bounced over to Thomas.

“Oh that’s just your mind doing it’s thing. Not everything in this mind kitchen is going to be exactly the same, and sometimes when something’s changed, it just becomes blank space. It’s nice.” Patton gestured past Thomas towards the other direction both of them came from. “By the way, it’s not just us who’re here, everyone else is down the hall. You don’t have to stay talking with us. We still have a bit to do anyways.”

Eyes widening, Thomas whipped around towards the entrance of the kitchen and strained his ears towards the faint sounds from down the hall Thomas hadn’t been paying any attention to until now.

“There’s more to this place?”

A sparkle in his eyes had Patton’s smile widening and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Yes! And you can go wherever you want. This is your head after all.”

Thomas took an initial step towards the edge of the kitchen before he turned around and gave both a fleeting look and a comforting smile before he stepped out of the kitchen with a wave.

Just like the hallway from the entrance, the space between the hallway and the living room was strange, even the sounds were farther than they should’ve been.

The slightly harsher light from the overhead kitchen light slowly faded to something much more muted and pleasant as Thomas treaded carefully down the short end of the hallway to where the sounds of the other were coming from.

Shoulders the slightest bit hunched, Thomas tentatively peeked out from the corner of the hallway where it opened up into the living room. With a gasp, Thomas nearly fell into the living room at the sight that lay before him.

The space was definitely recognizable as his apartment, yet somehow completely different. Instead of the smaller dimensions of his real apartment, the living room was now a much larger open space full of architecture reminiscent of a log cabin. 

The staircase was still there, but was made of the more rustic wood like everything else. Something completely and entirely new was the roaring fire in a fireplace below the TV that was mounted above it instead of being in the corner like usual.

Not only that, but everything was also decorated to the nines in Christmas decorations, tinsel strung on the mantle very delicately and securely, a wreath on some of the posts, and the main attraction, the Christmas tree twinkling in the dim firelight.

As for the others, they were hovering near the Christmas tree. Logan was closest to Thomas, back to Thomas as he faced everyone else. Janus was hunched over the very bottom of the tree, placing a golden ornament among the gold and silver ornaments near the bottom of the tree.

Thomas frowned, his hands coming to clasp in front of him as his eyes fell on Virgil and Roman.

Virgil was swaying as he sat upon Roman’s shoulders. Reaching up, he hesitated at each little sway to put the purple colored ornament near the top of the very tall tree. 

As a particularly violent sway sent both of them nearly off balance, Thomas nearly bolted forward to catch them, but Logan simply took a step towards them and pushed gently at a specific part of Roman’s back. The gesture was so subtle that Roman didn’t even pause as he laughed, securing Virgil on his shoulders without a glance backwards at Logan.

Even Roman didn’t notice, Thomas had, and he smiled at Logan as he came back to a different spot, but just as far away as the previous spot from the tree.

Something unusually tense in Logan’s back has Thomas’s feet immediately bringing him up beside Logan.

Thomas placed a hand on Logan’s arm once he was close enough. However, Logan quickly began to step to the side, but Thomas’s grip remained, halting Logan as soon as he began to move.

Neither of them said anything, a simple nod passing between them before the simultaneously turned back to watch Virgil and Roman’s antics.

“They are somehow so careful and yet so reckless. I can’t understand them sometimes.”

“Do they know they could’ve just conjured a ladder to do this?”

Turning to Thomas, Logan leveled a single eyebrow at Thomas, his expression still neutral.

“Sure, but then we wouldn’t get to see this… entertaining display.”

A slight upturn of Logan’s lips and a dusting of pick on his cheeks had Thomas looking back to the teetering disaster waiting to happen. Then back at Roman and Virgil. Then back at Logan.

A smile of Thomas’s own blossomed on his face.

Even the message on Logan’s dark blue and black sweater emphasized the moment, showing the periodic table with elements labeled Cu, Ti, E, all highlighted.

But Thomas didn’t address that as Logan subtly moved his hands behind his back, the edge of an object in his hand peeking out for a split second

“What is that in your hand? I see you hiding it.”

Bringing his hands farther away from Thomas with the offending item, Logan’s Adam’s apple bobbed conspicuously before Logan cleared his throat and spoke.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Mouth popping open, Thomas’s mouth was open in the ghost of a word before he froze, his face falling as his eyes darted back and forth a bit. Straightening his back, Thomas closed his mouth before placing a subtle, comforting hand on Logan’s shoulder.

“Oh, I suppose it’s a secret? Well then I won’t spoil it. Wouldn’t want to force your hand,” Thomas lightly tapped his pointer finger to his lips with a small smirk on his face. “I won’t keep you from whatever you’re doing.”

And with that, Thomas gave Logan a wink and stepped over to where Janus was still half bent over the tree.

“Hey Janus.”

Janus glanced up with his usual impassive expression, but the moment he met Thomas’s eyes, Janus’s face immediately melted into the smallest of smiles. The moment didn’t last long, a look from Janus returned by Thomas.

“Ah our creator. My humblest greetings.”

“I’m not your creator Janus. You are as much a part of me as I am in this place.”

“And yet, each of us here are so incredibly different. All thanks to you.”

Thomas’s cheeks heated rapidly, though his level expression suggested he was trying not to acknowledge that fact.

“Whatever.”

Both of them turned as Roman and Virgil began to exclaim, something about going too fast, lost in the flurry of limbs as they once again began to fall, but this time righted themselves completely unaided.

They each took a few moments, muttering words only each other could hear before Roman’s eyes turned to the bottom of the tree and the most incredulous sound imaginable came from his lips.

“Why must you defy everything I planned for this tree Mr. Slick and Grinchy?”

Crouching down, Janus made no effort to reply or react at all at first. He completed the gesture of placing the ornament and standing back up before his eyes even flickered to Roman in the slightest.

“Society is an illusion and so is perfect beauty or aesthetic.”

Roman frowned, huffing as he crossed his arms. 

“I may not understand what exactly that means, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know you’re wrong about that! The ornaments should be evenly distributed across the tree instead of all of those ornaments being at the bottom.”

However, despite the passionate speech, Janus’s expression remained neutral, a yawn that appeared 100% genuine only adding to the message.

“Well, when you finally conjure that ladder, I’ll be happy to place some of these nearer to the top.”

Roman’s gasp this time was devoid of all it’s incredulousness this time, his eyes bugging out as he gently slapped his head with his hand the best he could while holding onto Virgil.

“It’s not often I say this, but… Mr. Humbug, you’re righ-”

“It’s time!” Thomas jumped, turning around to Patton’s head sticking out from the hallway. They made eye contact and Patton jerked his head back in the direction of the hall.

“Hey Thomas, some help with the drinks, Remus and I got the food.”

Rubbing his jaw, Thomas glanced back at Janus and Roman, their quick glances toward each other making Thomas’s breath catch. 

“Sure Pat, I’m coming…”

Sending one last glance back at the trio with an apologetic smile, Thomas turned and walked past Patton back into the kitchen where the steaming mugs of hot cocoa sat for Thomas to bring. Remus already had a platter of pristine Christmas cookies and a full ham and a turkey and- 

Eyes bugging out once again, Thomas’s eyes were locked onto Remus as he went down the hall with the entire contents of the oven carried in his 6 total hands. 

Patton, on the other hand, had only two side dishes in his hands as he passed Thomas. Nodding towards the steaming mugs, Patton stepped back towards the living room.

“Just grab the trays, everything’s lighter here than you would expect, so you won’t have to much to handle.”

Opening his mouth, Thomas’s words died on his lips once again as Patton disappeared around the corner, leaving Thomas to his duty of bringing the drinks.

Thankfully, just as Patton said, the trays were exponentially lighter than they looked with 3-4 mugs on each of them. So Thomas easily picked up and brough the mugs back down the hallway. 

But everything came to a sudden halt when Thomas stepped back into the living room.

He had to have been gone less than a minute, but the whole atmosphere in the living room had drastically shifted from a slight Christmas feel to full blown nostalgia Christmastime feeling. The tree had every inch covered in ornaments now, the fire was roaring somehow more than before and everyone was seated comfortably on the many couches that faced the TV with plates and utensils a plenty.

It took all Thomas’s effort not to drop both those dang platters as his feet almost instantaneously rooted him to the spot as his mouth dropped open at how fast everything had suddenly come together.

“Thomas- snrk- You okay there?” Virgil’s smug voice came from one of the furthest couches, Virgil sitting on the arm of the couch, but slowly sinking down towards the proper place.

Jolting, Thomas abruptly cleared his throat and nodded as his eyes continued to take in the living room, his voice not at all convincing.

“Uh, yes? Uh….no? I think… this is just… wow.”

Each of Sides looked to one another, a similar expression of wide open eyes at how awed Thomas sounded. They had done that. Only Janus managed not to look bothered, but by the way Remus rolled his eyes in Janus’s direction, there was more than meets the eye under the impassive half smile Janus had managed to pull off.

Soon, however, Thomas was stepping forward once again, not yet completely over the sight, but recovered enough that he could mostly properly function again.

Without a word, Thomas handed everyone a drink according to the cups, each of them the sides usual colors with an animal design/theme. 

The last one left on the tray for Thomas was a chaotic blend of all of them, cutesy animals and a rainbow design.

“Oh… I love that. It’s perfect.”

Patton, who was sitting comfortably with Logan on a couch, leaned over the arm of their couch and patted Roman’s arm as best he could on the other couch.

“See, I told you he’d love it.”

And with that, all of them dug in, the hum of conversation washing over Thomas as he got what he wanted from each of the platters.

It was like only an instant had passed when Roman finally bolted up, bouncin on his toes in all his excitement.

“Is everyone done? Because if we are, then it’s time for presents!”

Presents went by just as fast as each of the Sides revealed their presents for each other.

Logan was first with a scrapbook for Patton of all the memories from the preparations, each of them laughing and preparing the day as well as some sneakily hidden shots from the meal. He even took a picture of Patton’s completely awed look, instructing Patton to turn to the last page to see the very picture already in the book. 

It probably took five minutes for Patton to stop borderline choking Logan with a hug, and even more than that for Patton to stop crying happy tears into Logan’s Christmas sweater. 

Patton’s present was for Janus. 

Janus was leaning just slightly away from the present as he opened it, ready for something disappointing, perhaps. But instead a moment of pure joy flashed across Janus’s face as he opened it. Sure, his expression immediately hid that that moment had even existed, but every Side had watched him, so there was no hiding it.

Inside Janus’s present was everything a cold-blooded, snake themed side would want, a snake plushie and onesie as well as a heated and weighted blanket. 

Still, with Janus’s blatant slip, he still schooled his expression as he extracted each from the packaging.

Janus had Virgil.

Thomas and Logan had frowned at the small package Virgil had been handed by Janus, aas did Virgil himself. 

But Virgil was more curious than anything, as even though Janus was one to play tricks, this small package was small enough it was likely not to be one.

What nobody expected was the utter ear-piercing squeal that came from Virgil after a moment of gazing at his unwrapped present.

“How? You found an exclusive version of-”

“I know you love MCR, and found that, as luck would have it, in the recesses of Thomas’s mind. It helps to be a bit more experienced with all things not conscious. I-”

In a surprising move for everyone, Virgil cut Janus’s ramble short with a slamming hug.

There weren’t nearly as many tears as Patton’s reaction to his gift, but if there were a few tears that leaked into Janus’s sweater, Janus made no comment as Virgil finally pulled back, sheeks red as the reality of what he had just done sunk in.

Virgil had presents for both of the twins, a thing of slime that looked like sewage and other fun things for Remus and a set of copic markers for Roman.

Remus was immediate in unveiling his slime and beginning to play with it, but Roman was hesitant. 

“I have plenty of markers, virgil, not that I am ungrateful for them, but what led you to this as my gift.”

Virgil tensed just ever so slightly before pushing a piece of paper in front of Roman.

“Just try them, idiot.”

Roman once again huffed in annoyance.

“Alright, Panic at the Disco.”

Roman tried out each of the colors, but soon found the paper to be too small for testing them out, and eventually, the color ran over each other, but when they did, Roman completely froze.

In all Roman’s time, he had never had markers that actually blended when you layered them. And that’s when it clicked in Roman’s expression, eyes widening like everyone else’s had when they opened their presents.

This time, of all times, Roman instantly apologized, nearly giving the markers back as his increasingly reddening face sunk deeper into his sweater. It wasn’t until Logan announced his own present was next that Roman had the courage to emerge, still rosy cheeked, but less so.

To complete the circle of gifts, the twins had Logan’s present. And they took their time in handing to Logan, as if what was inside was fragile or important.

Logan treated the gift the same, taking great care in unwrapping the gift before staring down at the gift of a very important looking notebook.

Without having to be asked, both of the twins wove a tale of watching Logan struggle to create a good schedule for Thomas, even clashing with Roman himself. But Remus was the one who continued, talking about how he had garnered some information from the non-conscious part of Thomas’s brain on how to tap into it to cement an idea or plan.

The notebook, when written in, would cement whatever idea was in it into Thomas’s mind, bring it to the forefront without completely intruding. It was the perfect thing to help Thomas listen to Logan more.

Thomas should’ve been more outraged that Logan had to have something like this to even be listened to, but his own logic had always been overshadowed by feelings at times. It was the best thing he could do to go over to Logan and hug him when he saw the tension in Logan’s body and the refusal to meet Thomas’s eyes.

The instant Thomas wrapped his arms around Logan, his body stiffened even more before just as quickly completely melting into Thomas completely. Fingers running through Logan’s hair, Thomas whispered out quiet assurances.

“No, don’t you dare feel guilty about not being heard. You shouldn't have to be ‘tempted’ to make me listen ‘against my will.’ You are a part of me that I need to listen to, and I trust you enough to allow this greater power over me. If I didn’t want this, my creativity- creavtivities wouldn’t have made this for you.”

That was enough to stop the slight shivering as Logan pulled back with uncharacteristically soft and vulnerable eyes, wide and awe-filled.

“Really?” Logan’s voice was barely a breath.

“Really.” Thomas echoed, squeezing Logan gently before letting go and sitting back beside him.

Still keeping Logan in the corner of his eye, Thomas turned to Remus and Roman who were still in front of them with a mischievous glint in their eyes.

“Now, each of you check your pockets now,” Both of them snapped in unison as Roman spoke. “You should find something new there.”

With varying levels of excitement and wariness each of them reached into their pockets to produce a jagged piece of something. When the twins were met with blank stare at the reason for these gifts, neither of them faltered.

“Each of you, gather around the coffee table and place your piece down, we have ours as well.”

Eyebrow raised, Thomas obliged, as did the rest of the Sides after. As each of them placed their piece on the table, the idea slowly came into shape, though as always it was Logan’s face to light up first in realization.

“Now each of you arrange your pieces the best you can to create a complete shape, there is only one way these pieces fit together, but we’ll let you figure it out.”

It only took a moment for each of their voices to vy to be heard, only Logan holding his tongue as he had likely already figured it out and a stern but gentle glare from Roman to not ruin it for everyone. Roman did pointedly glance at the notebook he and Remus had just given him, permission to slyly get back at Roman is however he saw fit in what he guided Thomas towards.

Surprisingly, it was Patton who first exclaimed the solution.

“Oh that’s so cute! It’s a star!”

Judging by the grumbles that arose from Janus, he might have been close to that solution himself, but was beaten to the punch by Patton’s exclamation.

“You got it! This our gift to all of you.”

In any case, after that the 7 of them arranged their pieces  so that the star design appeared. Thomas’s pink piece was at the top, with Virgi’s purple and Roman’s red sitting beside it. For now, the star was devoid of orange, but full of the rest of the sides neon yellows, lush greens and two distinct peaceful blues. 

The star was still a 5 pointed star, which made the piece placement a little more complicated, but eventually they were able to press the pieces together. When they did the star flashed brightly before suddenly zooming out of everyone’s grip and alighting on the tree.

Once the star was in its place, snow suddenly began to fall from the ceiling silently. Even Remus and Roman’s mouth fell open as the first flakes settled onto them.

Each of the Sides and Thomas gazed up at least once to try to find where they were coming from, but they just appeared a few inches from the ceiling and fell down to them. 

Even with the mystery, all of them slowly succumbed to the urge to enjoy the indoor snow. Whether it was trying to catch a flake with their tongue or immediately catching as much snow in one place to attempt a snowball, the formality of the gift giving was completely gone and replaced with the unbridle fun of playing in the snow.

“Wait… where… Where did that mistletoe come from? We never put that up.” Virgil pointed to a sprig of mistletoe above where Janus and Remus were gathering snow, Janus gathering most of it while Remus made balls of snow.

Both Janus and Remus looked up in unison, eyeing the sprig before looking at each other.

“I don’t care, come here Jani-bear. I want to get steamy enough that the snow starts melting.”

Even Thomas rolled his eyes at the pet name and the cheesy line, but couldn’t help fawning over Janus’s reaction.

Face turning bright red, it was Janus who took the initiative to pull Remus’s collar and kiss him. Responding in kind after a moment to recover, Remus responded by mouthing into the kiss just as passionately.

A gasp from behind Thomas had him turning to yet another sprig of mistletoe, this time above the four other sides, each of them turning red as they turned their face up to it. 

Surprisingly, Patton was the first to place a quick kiss on Logan’s lips, with Roman just behind him sweeping Virgil into a kiss of his own.

Thomas's chest filled with warmth as he watched his sides kiss each other, their love an extension of his own self love. The sensation filled him outwards from his chest up to his head and down to the tip of his toes.

It wasn’t until he was staggering, though, that it hit him that maybe the warmth wasn’t just love, that the blanket he didn’t exactly remember wrapping around himself was warming him up pleasantly as well.

Eyes dropping, Thomas made it to the couch, lying down to answer the call of his mind, the warm embrace of sleep ever stronger on him.

A familiar voice echoed softly in his head just at the cusp of sleep

“This is our present for you, Thomas, a pleasant dream by our sides enjoying Christmas together.”

The picture of his Sides’ concerned faces hovering over him faded as the pleasant feelings of the night carried him off into proper, joy filled dreams.

Thomas smiled, nuzzling into his pillow, asleep and content.

[august-anon]

Dance if You Can

This is based off a headcanon/bullet fic I did in the discord a few months ago that Pineapple prompted. Hope y’all like it!

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship(s): romo Prinxiety

Characters (lee/ler): Lee!Virgil/Ler!Roman, brief Ler!Virgil/Lee!Roman

Word Count: 2973 words

Summary: Roman held the unofficial title of “Best Dancer” whenever their friend group played Just Dance. Virgil, the new addition, was about to show him how it’s done, but Roman was nothing if not competitive.

[ao3 link]

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In the end, it was Patton’s idea.

While he, Roman, and Logan had been friends for what felt like forever, Virgil was a very new addition to their little group of friends. They all wanted to make him feel welcome (and Roman may have had other motives to do so, as well, but he wasn’t going to admit it), and thus Patton suggested a sleepover to really make him feel like his place in the group was solidified.

Logan, knowing his house was usually the favorite for such get-togethers, asked his parents and, as always, received a resounding “yes” (they loved Logan’s friends and the fact that Logan had friends). They shipped all of Logan’s siblings off to their own sleepovers for the weekend and told the boys to be as loud as they wanted, and that they wouldn’t be interfering unless they were needed.

Yeah, Roman thought, Logan’s parents tried a little too hard to be cool, but he loved them to pieces, and he had no anxiety over whether or not they loved him back (or Patton, or their own son).

But the reason Logan’s house was the favorite was the video games.

Logan grew up in a family of gamers. His father was a huge gamer even before he and Logan’s mom had kids, and he must’ve just passed the gaming gene down to then. The family owned every gaming system Roman could even hope for, and more (seriously, who even had a gamecube, anymore? Roman had forgotten they even existed) and every game they could want for any one of them.

But the sleepover was in full swing and Virgil was starting to adjust to the setting, so Roman decided it was time to show off a little and declared a dance battle.

Logan rolled his eyes good-naturedly, but he set it up anyway. He slid the Just Dance disk into the old, wheezing Xbox 360, because he knew Roman preferred the Kinect version as opposed to having to hold a remote.

They all take turns competing against each other, making fools of themselves and laughing at their pitiful scores. Well, everyone except Roman and Virgil. Roman’s scores were absolutely killing it, and he was entirely not shy about showing off. Meanwhile, Virgil seemed to be content just laughing at them instead of participating.

Well, that just wouldn’t do. Luckily, Roman had a solution.

The thing about Virgil and his budding friendship (and Roman’s budding totally-not-a-crush) was that they were very good at riling each other up. Whether it be play arguments, convincing one or the other to do a dare, or pushing a challenge that the other was too competitive to say no to, they always managed to get under each other’s skin in just the perfect way.

And one playful and teasing argument led to another thing, and suddenly Virgil was standing from the sofa and tossing off his hoodie (his hoodie! He had never taken it off in front of them! Roman had assumed it was a comfort thing and hadn’t pushed, but now he had a body shape and oh no, as if he wasn’t already smitten enough--) so that he can finally dance-battle Roman.

And Roman goes into the battle cocky and smirking. Patton and Logan had never been able to beat him at dance games, no matter what system it was. He was the declared dance champ of their little group.

But Virgil was good.

He was matching Roman move for move, eyes locked on the screen intently. Roman’s competitive nature finally got him to stop being distracted by the sight of Virgil dancing next to him without his hoodie, but even then, he couldn’t beat him. In fact, as Virgil started to pick up the nuances of the game more and more, he actually beat Roman.

There was silence.

“Woah…” Patton whispered.

Roman whirled and pointed an accusing finger into Virgil’s chest. “Absolutely not! It was a fluke, I was going easy on you for your first time playing. I demand a rematch!”

Virgil smirked at him. “Do I smell a sore loser?”

“No! Just -- get into your section!”

Virgil didn’t seem convinced, but he did as Roman commanded. And they danced to another song, Roman putting his all into it, but Virgil was still beating him! And Roman hated to admit it, but he was a little frustrated about that fact.

He didn’t mean to be a sore loser! He just wanted to show off, impress Virgil. Maybe tease him a little (kindly, playfully, maybe slightly flirtatiously) about being the better dancer, but now Virgil was using Roman’s own game against him!

After their third dance, Roman stepped back, panting and maybe sweating a little. Virgil. Infuriatingly, only seemed a little out of breath.

“You haven’t won,” Roman added, once again pointing his accusing finger, “I just need a minute.” He turned to the sofa behind them. “Logan! Fight in my stead! Weaken the enemy!”

Logan stood with a sigh as Patton giggled, probably both knowing Roman wouldn’t let up until he listened. “Why don’t we just combine all our scores against Virgil’s combined scores?” He suggested.

Patton immediately nodded and Virgil shrugged. Roman thought about it for a moment. It was 1am, and they were all pretty wiped from school and the unexpected workout of Just Dance. So Roman agreed. Three against one was hardly fair, but he wanted to win, dangit!

So he stepped back and let Logan take a dance. Logan, as always, wasn’t amazing, but he did well enough to not fail. His movements were robotic and somewhat uncomfortable, seeing as the nerd didn’t really dance otherwise, but he did better than Patton.

Then Patton took a turn against the new rising champion. He, as always, did abysmally, but none of them ever minded. He was more in it for the fun of the game, rather than the competition, and would often purposefully mess up the move to make them all laugh and let loose, seeing as Logan was often one to get lost in the competition as well. His score barely made a dent in their efforts to beat Virgil, but no one really minded when he smiled that smile at them.

And then it was Roman’s turn, again. His scores were up to their usual best again, now that he’d taken a breather and cooled off, but Virgil’s scores were still beating his, by an unfairly large margin. In his frustration, Roman slipped out of his own area a little on accident and, on one of the more dramatic moves, accidentally slipped his hand against Virgil’s upper ribs/armpit area.

Virgil flinched away and Roman heard a quick intake of breath. Then, Virgil quickly readjusted himself and continued beating Roman at this stupid dancing game. It didn’t matter, though. Roman had his plan, now.

It was easy for Roman to recognize that reaction for what it was. He had siblings, Patton and Logan had siblings that were basically siblings to him, and Patton and Logan themselves were like brothers to Roman. None of them were strangers to tickle fights.

Roman fought down a smirk. Just yet another thing their little group would introduce him to, tonight.

It was Logan’s turn again, next, and Roman sat back for a few minutes before enacting his plan. He waited until the first chorus to strike, waiting until a dance move where their arms are high in the air. He quickly spidered his fingers up Virgil’s ribs and into his armpits.

Virgil squealed and messed up, jerking his arms down a couple beats too soon and not completing the move. He lost a few points, and he turned to glare at Roman as best he could while still dancing, keeping the moves in his peripheral so he could copy them.

“What?” Roman asked, far too innocently. “I’m just making the competition a little more interesting. Surely a little tickling won’t make you lose, will it?”

And Roman couldn’t quite tell through dimmed lights of the gaming room, but he could’ve sworn Virgil went a little pink in the face, at that. He turned back to the TV screen too fast for Roman to fully tell.

“Just adding a little challenge, Virge.” Roman practically purred in his ear.

Now that did it. Virgil was just as competitive as Roman and Logan were. Just like how Roman had gotten him to agree to the dance battle in the first place, Roman had roped him into another challenge easily.

Roman dismissed the thought that he could probably be challenged into things like this just as easily, as well.

“Please,” Virgil scoffed, somehow even still keeping up with the moves on screen. “Like a little t-ti-tickling is gonna make me lose, Princey.”

Roman grinned. His plan had worked perfectly so far. Now all he had to do was tickle Virgil bad enough for him to lose.

“Oh? You don’t mind, then?” Roman asked.

Virgil didn’t reply, he just kept on dancing. But even through the lighting, though, Roman could tell that those pale ears had gone bright red. Roman kept his place behind Virgil and moved with him to the dances (because it would be cheating to physically impede him with something other than tickling, and Roman wanted to win fairly.. Well, as fairly as he could, now).

Roman resumed his spidering, this time on Virgil’s ribs and sides, while moving to the dance with him. Virgil’s shoulders shook a little with suppressed laughter, but he still kept up with the dance pretty well. Unfairly well. Aside from little jerks and squirms that weren’t really exaggerated enough to affect his score, Virgil had no issues keeping up.

Roman moved down to his legs briefly in hopes of breaking him, squeezing his thighs and kneecaps. He even skittered his nails and fingers at the backs of Virgil’s knees, or, at least, as well as he could with Virgil’s skinny jeans in the way (which, Virgil still had quite the reaction even then, which Roman would have to experiment more with when those knees weren’t protected).

Virgil’s giggles came deep from his chest, barely audible over the game, and he was still trying his best to hold them in by pressing his lips together tightly. But he also almost kicked Roman multiple times, and almost toppled over, so Roman decided the legs were a little dangerous for now and moved back up.

Before he could start on Virgil’s upper body again, Logan’s dance finished and it was Patton’s turn to step up once more. Virgil was panting the whole time, as they switched spots and began to look for their next song. Roman’s not so cruel as to not give him a break between dances. 

Since the new challenge started, Logan and Patton hadn’t said anything about it. That didn’t mean they weren’t clearly paying attention, though, shooting each other and Roman sly looks over the whole thing. Roman, frankly, was just happy they weren’t doing it where Virgil could see and decipher them.

He also kind of wanted to tell them to mind their own business, leave Roman’s weird flirting ritual alone, but there was no way he was saying that in front of Virgil. He didn’t want Virgil to know he was flirting, or know that Roman liked him. So Roman didn’t say anything. He just sent them both scathing glares before the next song started up.

And then the music started and Roman dove right in without warning or build-up. He squeezed up and down Virgil’s sides, then switched to kneading at his hips, then back to his sides and repeated the pattern. Virgil must have been pretty caught off-guard by the sudden attack, because he burst into loud laughter. But he still kept dancing.

Granted, his movements were far less smooth than before, and his laughter was starting to mess up some of his motions. He still did pretty well at not squirming, though, or stopping his dance to grab at Roman’s hands and defend himself.

But Roman was determined to win this, fair or not, now.

He reached around Virgil and claws into his stomach with both hands. Based on the way Virgil cried out and stumbled backward into Roman’s chest before catching himself and continuing trying to dance, Roman was pretty certain this was Virgil’s worst spot.

His laughter was the loudest sound any of them had ever heard Virgil make, and he was barely able to keep his eyes on the screen anymore. His dancing was, while nowhere near as bad as Patton, truly beginning to get terrible, now, and he was losing points fast. 

Roman glanced up and realized with a pout that the song was coming to an end. He figured he might as well go out with a bang, whether or not he managed to win, even if he had no clue if this little trick he was about to pull would work.

Roman stuck a finger deep into Virgil’s bellybutton and scratched at the inner walls, wiggling deep into the little divot. Virgil actually screamed before falling into hysterical cackling and going completely limp as the song ended.

Roman, for his part, was not expecting Virgil to suddenly ragdoll. With him being unprepared to catch the extra weight, Virgil managed to drag them both to the ground, where they landed in a giggly heap of tangled limbs (giggles courtesy of Virgil).

And then they looked up and--

Virgil’s terrible score from that last round still managed to beat Patton’s.

A series of offended noises escaped from Roman’s vocal chords, and Virgil’s residual giggles turned into victorious laughter as he watched the screen flash in front of them. He started poking at Roman’s sides with a smug, open grin.

“I still won!” He all but crowed. “I still won, and you all lost! Take that, Roman!”

Roman jerked away from each ticklish little poke and he couldn’t stop himself from blushing. Virgil was tangled up with him, practically on top of him, and he was happy and flustered and yet he felt kind of like a sore loser at the same time.

So to save face, Roman growled, “I’ll show you… taking that!”

Virgil started to laugh at Roman’s terrible comeback, and he started to make some sassy comment about how it didn’t make sense, but Roman didn’t let him get that far. He shoved Virgil’s shirt up and blew raspberry after raspberry around Virgil’s sides and against his stomach.

Virgil was shrieking and cackling and yelling, trying desperately to escape the little knot they got themselves into, but Roman wasn’t letting him get away that easily. He tightly wrapped all his limbs around Virgil so there was no hope of escape.

(Unbeknownst to them, all other sound lost to Virgil’s shrieking cackles, Logan sighed heavily. He shared a knowing half-smile with Patton as they made their way out of the room to give the two pining idiots some privacy and went off to get ready for bed.)

Eventually, Virgil managed to get a hand free. He shoved it up under Roman’s arm before Roman had a chance to defend himself.

The raspberries stopped suddenly as Roman broke into shrieking cackles and tried to wrench himself away on instinct, leaving them both lying on the floor a few feet away from each other.

Virgil was panting and still giggling, but he gave Roman a true grin and said, “You’re an idiot, Roman Prince.”

Roman tried to put on a suave face and rolled back over toward Virgil, planting a hand on either side of his head against the floor to loom over him. “You have an adorable laugh,” he murmured.

Roman could just barely make out Virgil’s blush through the low light, but he relished in it. He leaned in close to whisper in Virgil’s ear.

“And don’t think I didn’t notice that you never protested or said ‘no,’” he purred.

Roman could feel Virgil’s face flaming against his own and smirked victoriously. He pulled back somewhat to let Virgil see.

“Oh yeah?” Virgil muttered, and shoved both hands up under Roman’s armpits without warning.

Roman’s arms immediately gave out from under him as they instinctively drew in to protect himself and he collapsed forward onto Virgil’s chest. Virgil used that to his advantage and wrapped himself around Roman like an octopus, trapping him in a tight hug and wrapping his legs around him to hold him still.

He blew raspberries on Roman’s neck, squeezed and scratched at his sides, forced his fingers past Roman’s arms and back into his armpits (clearly having figured out Roman’s worst spot rather quickly). And then he let Roman go. Roman stayed draped across Virgil’s chest, panting and still giggling, relaxed now that he was all tickled out.

“You never said ‘no,’ either,” Virgil whispered smugly.

Roman tried to quell his embarrassment, play it off by muttering, “Guess we match,” into Virgil’s shirt.

And then, Roman wasn’t entirely certain who started it, they were kissing, right there on the floor of the gaming room in Logan’s house.

And when they pulled back, Virgil gave him a teasing grin. “You sure have a real weird way of flirting, Ro.”

Roman sputtered for a moment, but he was smiling, too. “Shut up,” he eventually managed, “or I’ll tickle you again.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Maybe another time, I want to go to sleep.”

Roman leaned in, his grin taking on a mischievous edge. “Another time, huh?”

Virgil blushed again and shoved his face away, but he was chuckling along with Roman.

They pulled each other up and got ready for bed, joining the others in Logan’s room and cuddling until they fell asleep. And if someone wound up waking someone else with tickles… well, that was nobody’s business but their own.

[canvas-the-florist]

A Side Worth Fighting For

Ship: Romantic Roloceit

Warnings: Cursing, Verbal fighting

Summary: Logan and Deceit are fighting over Roman until the two come up with a much better arrangement. Thanks @royal-must-slay I really appreciate you letting me use this! Sorry it took me so freaking long.

Word Count: 2.2K

-

It all started as things often do in the Mind Palace, Patton made a pun. Something at the beginning of the video to kickstart the Sanders Sides episode. But the issue with it was Roman laughed. He kept apologizing through his laughter to Thomas but couldn’t stop. He was leaning on Patton and couldn’t stop laughing. An unadulterated, snort-filled, pure laugh. Logan blinked as he himself seemed lighter. Deceit looked like he was filled with contemplation. They were both looking at Roman with awe. Like they were always in love with Roman and this was the awakening of it. Something about Roman being free from his self-consciousness and being truly happy… Caught both of the two’s eyes. Before however, they caught each other's.

That’s when the competition began to gain the love of their fellow side, Roman.

-

A few days after the video was published, Roman found a letter addressed to him outside his room door. The handwriting was cursive but strangely neat and readable. The only thing going through his mind was about how strangely romantic it felt to receive a handwritten letter. He closed his door behind him softly before collapsing on his bed, screaming into the nearest pillow, sitting up, and taking a calm breath.

“Okay, I don’t know if it’s romantic or not. I need to stay calm and read this thing.” Said Roman, clearly not calm in any capacity. He drew another slow breath and opened the letter quickly because the anticipation was already killing him.

Dear, Darling, Salutations Roman,

It had come to my attention that you, metaphorically, could kill a room with your smile. You could of course, literally kill a room with your smile but you do so metaphorically. This letter is an attempt to rebound my feelings upon you. I hope you understand that if you do not reciprocate these emotions I am experiencing I shall cease immediately.

Roman, you have caused me to experience shortness in breath and a lightness in my head in a positive manner. I have gained the knowledge that these are symptoms of a hypothetical crush. The idea of me containing this ‘crush’ on you for over two months is high in probability. I have not the words to describe emotions, I never do, but I am aware that I wish to court you. If this is acceptable I would appreciate a response. You are a lovely and valuable person Roman, and I would find it most agreeable to express positive and romantic views with you.

Love, Warm Regards,

Logan

It was a short letter but careful detail was in it. Obviously, the letter had been written in pen so some words have been crossed out. If it was Virgil who wrote it, there would be no way that Roman could tell what the words were. But, Logan kept the lines almost perfect. Annoyingly so. He felt his heart rate quicken as he read the words written just for him. He felt touched and flattered. Of course, it was okay for Logan to ‘court him’ as it was stated. Roman decided that maybe responding again through another letter would be best but didn’t want to sit down. His mind and heart were racing as he paced around in his room, pondering what to do. He hadn’t really been hit on by anyone, and he certainly didn’t expect Logan to be the first person to do so.

But before Roman could do anything there was a knock on the door. His brow furrowed before he opened the door. Another object on the ground that Roman could easily pick up. Nothing that hid in an envelope, but a box. A gift, possibly?

He shrugged and placed the box on his desk, just to take the top off the box. It revealed a red cape. The cape was stunning and happened to be fitted to his height while leaving room for any running he may do. Roman, of course, put it on immediately to see how he looked. Though, it wouldn’t matter how he looked because his glowing face said everything you would need to know about how he perceived it. Creativity checked the box for any indication for who sent it. Maybe Logan? But he didn’t seem like the type…

Ah! A small piece of paper! How intriguing.

Roman flourished his hand before reading it. Which was really just a buffer to mentally prepare himself as he couldn’t remember a time he felt as pampered as he did that moment. He closed his eyes before looking down. “I can do this, I can do this.” Roman encouraged himself, definitely not feeling like he could do it. Dear Hamilton, how could it be so hard to do this? He was the Creativity and Ego of Thomas! Roman could look at one slip of paper, easily. So he did, difficultly.

Roman,

Meet me at 11 PM

In the Mind Palace Courtyard

Don’t be late

Hmm, that wasn’t ominous at all. But, curiosity was getting the best of him and Roman was really intrigued. So if it meant following a shady note, he would be fine with that.

-

Logan was composing letters to Roman. Along with that, he was planning on spending time with Roman, just listening to everything the beautiful man had to say. Logan was going to be honest, he didn’t realize how in love with Roman he already was until the start of the video. Which is over now. He had been researching love languages, to decipher his own as well as Roman’s. But it quickly got out of hand as he found himself trying to figure out Deceit’s as well. Who he had personally thought of as his enemy in the metaphorical love triangle. Well, what he assumed was a metaphorical love triangle. Logan wasn’t really sure.

As he continued his research he heard a side rise up in his room. He turned around, keeping his outward composure to hide the fact he was shocked out of his mind. It was, “Deceit, a surprise to see you here. What do you want?” Of course, his ‘rival’.

“Oh, not here to mock you or anything.” Deceit gave his obviously practiced ‘evil villain’ laugh. His face suddenly lost all that emotion as he made eye contact with Logan. “I don’t plan to date Roman, and you certainly have a chance against me. I’m obviously not the better match for him either way. But, might as well say hello to my competition.”

The logical side took a few seconds to take in the lies and translate in his head. “Falsehood,” He responded, stepping in front of Deceit, making the side step back as if he was intimidated. “Roman is his own side and either one of us could be rejected. I have done researc-”

Deceit scoffed, “Of course, because every potential partner wants to be psycho-analyzed.”

Logan adjusted his tie while he rolled his eyes. “You don’t scare me, Deceit. And even if you did, you would still fail against me. So,” He stepped forward. “You should know that I have every intention to woo Roman and your means to do the same would stop that.”

An eyebrow raised. “Scared? No, that isn’t my plan. You don’t need to be scared of me. You just need to get out of my way to let me attempt to have my love reciprocated.” Deceit clapped his hands together with a simple laugh before he made eye contact once more. Logan blinked as he was walking backwards into the wall. Deceit gave no indication of realizing this. Neither of them realized the new figure at the door. “Roman is independent and wonderful, so if either of us two could get with him it would be a feat. But, if any side is lucky enough for that, it sure as hell won’t be you.”

Just as Logan opened his mouth to rebuttal Deceit, he was cut off with a side clearing his throat. Deceit and Logan turned their heads to see Virgil leaning against the door frame with an unimpressed look. “I’m not even going to mention how homoerotic you two seem right now, but…” Virgil closed his eyes like he was in pain for what he was about to say. “You guys know that Roman has two hands, right? Does it need to be a competition if you could work together?”

They made eye contact, both considering within their own heads. Logan and Deceit shrugged as Virgil walked away.

“You were going to invite him to dance tonight, right?” Logan asked.

Deceit nodded. “Have a plan?”

“Have a plan,” Logan affirmed, secretly hating the words as soon as he said them.

-

There was no guarantee to who would show up in the courtyard of the Mind Palace. Probably not Logan, and if Roman was being honest with himself, he hoped it would be Deceit. Neither of the two dolts ever noticed his pining. But, he wore the new cloak just in case the sender would recognize it. Roman hoped so, at least. He fiddled with the edges of it as he walked through the palace gates, and to the courtyard. Taking a breath, Roman opened both of the doors. He looked up at the stars in the sky and when he lowered his head he saw two figures. Almost romantic but also startling him in the jumpscare sort of way.

He decided to waste no more time, so he lifted up the bottom of his cape and ran towards the other two sides, ready to find out the faces. Roman reached the two and loosened the grip on his hands. Logan and Deceit… Just the imaginary men he wanted to see. He let his smile show as Logan placed a record on a record player. Roman’s mind didn’t dwell on it as Deceit offered his hand.

“How about a dance? With the two of us?”

Roman took the hand. “What? You have a way to slow dance with three people?”

Logan took Roman’s other hand. “We’ve done research, Roman, I’m sure we can teach you as well.”

So they danced together. The dancing was awkward and slow at first, but after failing and laughing through it.. It didn’t matter if any of them were good at dancing, or knew what they were doing (although Logan protested it wasn’t him that broke the routine), it was just fun to dance with other people. Roman laughed his intoxicating laugh the moment he tripped over Deceit’s feet, only to be dipped by Logan and his quick thinking. Deceit helped the two up and all of them continued to do a poor excuse of what is technically considered dancing.

After they flipped the record over it and it played its final song, they all took seats on one of the benches at their disposal. Roman made a stupid joke and laughed about in into Logan’s arm. Once his laughter stopped he sat back up to get a better look at both of them.

“Thank you for this… Both of you, though I’m pretty sure that this was Bill Lie the Snakey Guy’s idea. I think both of you are pretty epic and great.” Roman said softly, switching his eye contact between Deceit and Logan. He looked down at his hands. “But I’m still not quite sure what this all means. Is this romantic? Or am I getting the wrong vibes???”

“No, we slow danced with you until one AM because we want to be your best buds!” Deceit feigned enthusiasm as he rolled his eyes. Roman groaned and punched him lightly in fair spirits.

Logan blinked, confused at what was happening before him but decided to move on. He coughed to bring awareness to him. “What Deceit was intending to say,” He gave a sideways glance to Deceit, who returned it with an all-knowing smirk, “is that we like you romantically, Roman. And if it would be okay-”

“Would you like to date us?” Deceit finished.

There was a moment of silence. Logan drew in a breath he forgot to let out. Roman seemed slightly taken back but he was trying to get his words together as quickly as he could without taking too long and scaring his fellow sides. But the moment he tried to say something it came out as sort of a verbal version of a keyboard smash. He started laughing to hide his embarrassment but, noticing that it made Logan and Deceit more concerned, he quickly stifled it. Roman cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, words aren’t exactly mine at the moment. So, my dears, I would love to date you.”

The night ended with a hug between three imaginary embodiments of deception, logic, and creativity. A good, long hug that turned into Roman holding the hands of Logan and Deceit as they made their ways to one of their rooms. It doesn’t matter which one yet. All Roman remembered after he woke up was the warmth of two extra people in an embrace that made him feel the safest he’s ever felt.

Taglist: @royal-must-slay @shitpost-sides @id-rather-go-live-in-a-trash-can @potereregina @itriedandimtired @brokendaughter666 @deebare10 @witchcraftwestan

[ruined-my-dramatic-entrance]

Hey, everyone! Decided to post a Sanders Sides fanfic I’m working on. Here’s chapter one of A Self-Study on Abnormal Reactions Influenced by Patton:

Angst/Fluff (initial angst, mostly fluff), Logicality, Prinxiety, Chapter 1/?, 1,600 words

~Chapter One: The Initial Incident~

Logan liked rules as a general, well, rule. Rules, reason, and predictability were all very appealing to him. With those figurative tools at his disposal, life was stable, secure, and satisfactory. Thus, one could imagine that it was odd to Logan — bothersome, even, unsettling, perhaps — when his own life seemed to falter from its straightforward path. He did not understand something about himself, but he was Logic. Surely, he should be able to comprehend himself with ease. With a heavy sigh, Logan pondered these predicaments as well as the events that had occurred during the last three months that had led him to this moment, hesitant with a decision for the first time in years. Maybe he should have gone to sleep early that night.

The night in question, the very first night that something was amiss with the logical side, was December 12th. Roman, the resident drama king, had thrown what Logan could only describe as a childish tantrum over his own illogical ideas. As the prince in question rambled on, his tone grew angrier with frustration. Logan did not like that and narrowed his eyes.

“You guys never listen to me! Creativity is kind of my whole thing. I’m not saying that my video ideas are the most important, but, yeah, they kind of obviously are?” Roman ranted, rolling his eyes dramatically and crossing his arms.

“I-I’m really sorry if I made you feel like that, Ro, I just don’t think that Thomas can handle it emotionally right now,” Patton replied, eyebrows scrunched upwards in guilt and concern.

Virgil was far past his patience running out and stared Roman down out of protective confidence. With a few exasperated gestures, he explained, “Look, you... Simba-leton or whatever — Thomas is stressed out so bad that he can’t even sleep through the night lately—“

“And whose fault would that be, Virgil?” Roman snapped back, cutting off the man in question before he could even finish his sentence.

“I—”

“I’m not the one making him feel so worried all the time. Maybe if you calmed down, Sir, it would be easier for Thomas to sleep and to film my ideas. Maybe it would be better for Thomas’s career if you didn’t always bring him to a new All Time Low every time he gets busy,” Roman raved. Virgil went silent and averted his gaze to the floor as if it was too painful to look up.

“Enough,” Logan demanded, standing up and approaching the others. As he broke the silence, it seemed to snap Virgil out of his thoughts.

“You know I have, Roman. I don’t have to take this right now,” the anxious side muttered, much softer and sadder than the anger he had originally intended. As he finished his statement, he looked up at Roman — only Roman, no one else — for a split second, revealing deep pain in his eyes. Speaking of his eyes, were those tears or were the three others mistaken? They didn’t have long to confirm, since Virgil sunk out with another word. Roman’s face flashed with regret and desperation for a moment before he replaced that expression with false confidence.

“I just think that Thomas’s audience would really enjoy a video a day for the 12 days of Christmas. It would make their Christmases truly magical,” Roman insisted, much less angrily, with a fanciful wave of his hand.

“Yes, if Thomas were to successfully publish 12 high quality videos in the next two weeks, it would likely be a positive experience for the viewers,” Logan conceded, to which Roman smiled and Patton grew nervous. “However, Thomas would not be able to produce videos of the necessary caliber in such short notice and especially not in such poor mental health. Your plan would result in Thomas having a mental health crisis and uploading videos that would probably be subpar to say the least, assuming he would be able to upload all 12 at all,” he elaborated.

“... But isn’t it still possible?” Roman persisted, a little shaken and nervous.

“Possible, yes. Probable, no. It is a risk that is not worth taking because the likelihood of success is minimal,” Logan insisted.

“I’m sorry, Ro, it’s just kinda not a good time for such an ambitious project,” Patton agreed apologetically.

“Yeah… it never is,” Roman grumbled in a deflated voice, sinking out.

“Goodnight, Roman—” Patton called out after him, a little too late and with no reply. His smile faded and his shoulders fell.

“You know you don’t have to pretend to be happier around us, right, Patton? We’ve discussed this matter before,” Logan remarked, scanning the other Side with his eyes.

“I…” Patton sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to make anyone feel worse, ya know?” he responded with a sad smirk that quickly dissolved into tears.

“Patton—”

“I just wish I could help them better. I’m s-supposed to be able to, right?” Patton lamented, wiping his eyes with the palms of his hands even though more tears were still flowing and his cheeks were wet once more.

“Patton, you are doing your best. Everyone knows it and everyone appreciates it, even if we may not be very vocal about it sometimes. You matter and you are essential to the group. Sometimes, you can’t fix everything...” He hesitated as Patton’s lip quivered. “But, that is perfectly normal. Roman cannot fix every issue by creative means. Virgil cannot protect Thomas from everything. I cannot… solve every issue from my perspective alone. We need your input,” he reassured.

“Do you really mean all that, Lo…?” Patton asked with a look in his eyes that conveyed such vulnerability and excitement that Logan couldn’t help but find himself a little endeared. Just a little.

“Yes, of course, I do,” he confirmed, straightening his necktie.

Patton squealed softly and smiled as wide as he could. “That means so much to me! You’re the best, Logan. You always seem to fix everything. It’s so… cool!” He took a step closer in excitement.

“I am simply doing what I can to help, as always. Now, it would probably be best for both of us to get some rest. It has been a long day and getting enough sleep will help everyone feel better,” he recommended.

“Oh…” Patton murmured, seemingly disappointed.

“Is there an issue with that?” Logan inquired, frowning slightly in confusion.

“Um… not really. I kind of just wanted to ask you something first,” he mumbled, finding it difficult to meet the other’s eyes out of shyness.

“Ah. What is it?” Logan prompted.

“Well… could I, uh… would it be okay if I hugged you?” Patton asked nervously.

“I… I’m afraid I don’t understand. You’ve hugged me before with little to no warning. Why ask now?”

“I ask now because you never really seemed comfortable with it in the past. Too much… emotion for you, I guess. I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, of course! I only want to hug you if you would enjoy it too — or at least, not mind it. I was just wondering if you would be comfortable with a hug right now,” Patton explained, almost frantic out of awkwardness.

“If that was all, of course, Patton,” Logan agreed. Immediately, the other Side practically leapt next to him and buried his face into his chest while wrapping his arms around Logan’s waist. After a moment’s hesitation, Logan reciprocated this… display of affection and attempted to hold him in a comforting manner, since Patton had been so upset that night.

“I think this is the best hug you’ve ever given me, Logan,” the moral side remarked, though his words were a little muffled into Logan’s shirt. “You make my life so much better. I don’t know what I — or any of the others would do without you,” he admitted.

“I… appreciate that, Patton. It is nice to know that I’m appreciated in my efforts,” Logan murmured steadily, though he felt a little something was off in himself. Just a little, of course.

“Appreciated? Logan, we love you so much! I always talk to the others about how much I enjoy being around you and how helpful you are to everyone and how much you mean to me — er, to all of us, really,” Patton rambled, passionate with admiration.

“I…” Logan was at a loss for words… that boded poorly, not to mention that the “little something” he felt around his heart was turning into a much larger, much more concerning something.

“Right, sorry, I’ve probably been hugging you for way too long now. We should sleep for now, like you said, getting enough sleep is important so that we can be at our best to help Thomas!” Patton said, letting go of Logan, who may have missed that feeling just a moment later… he wasn’t sure.

“Y-Yes, that would probably be the best course of action for now. Goodnight, Patton,” Logan said, having to put in an abnormal amount of effort into keeping his voice steady.

“Goodnight, Lo,” Patton replied with a cheery smile. As the other began to sink out, he added, “and, uh… thank you.” His smile had grown a bit smaller, yet it was more tender somehow, softer.

“You’re welcome. I’ll always do my best to help when I’m able to.”

“I know.” And Patton’s smile widened again, which somehow seemed to affect Logan’s current odd feelings further.

The latter man sunk out and, once he was in his room, brought his fingertips to his mouth in contemplation and grabbed his notebook with his other hand. This situation was a new occurrence and it was fairly concerning. He would have to keep track of it and all its details in the most beneficial way he knew how. Opening the notebook, he began writing notes.

A Self-Study on Abnormal Reactions Influenced by Patton:

[madlokilavender]

I understand you

Pairing: Intrulogical

Content: fluff, unsympathetic sides (kinda?), sympathetic remus

this is a little sanders sides fic i felt an urge to write! i haven't written anything in quite a while so it might not be perfect, but i'm pretty proud of it!

Logan wasn't quite sure what to make of his situation.

Ever since Thomas had been introduced to Remus, the dirty duke had been extra clingy to Logan. He couldn't quite understand why, and for a while he saw him as a nuisance getting in the way of his work. Remus would constantly pop into his room, always in a different spot, be it from under his standing desk to suddenly showing up on his bed, thankfully still fully clothed. He would stand next to Logan, elbows resting on the desk with his face in his hands as he watched the logical side work with a wide grin on his face. Logan would try his best to ignore him, but usually eventually gave into Remus's unblinking gaze and asked him what he wanted. The duke would just say, "I just like watching you, it's fun!" Logan couldn't understand why, but had given up on trying to understand anything the duke said and just let him stay, so long as he didn't interfere with his work.

Until one day when Logan was tired of the other sides ignoring him and his advice, feeling particularly agitated and as if the other sides didn't want him around. He was back at his desk as usual, trying to focus but constantly thinking back to the events of that day. Thomas had returned from the wedding very depressed, seeking help from Patton and Roman. As usual, Patton was being very strict and basically telling Thomas that he needed to spend every moment of his life trying to help others. Roman wasn't as bad, but wasn't able to contribute much to the discussion as the moral side was consistently confusing him. Logan had tried to bring some sense to the conversation, but both Roman and Patton chose to ignore him, to the point where Janus had to impersonate Logan just so they would finally listen.

He was content that Thomas had finally learned his lesson about taking care of himself more, but he couldn't help feeling hurt that the other sides had been so adamant on not letting him speak his part. He wished the other sides could understand that he has Thomas's best interest in mind. At least he could count on Janus to help him.

As if on cue, Remus jumped out from behind the tall lamp in the corner, shouting boo and holding his hands up in a stereotypical scaring motion. Logan simply turned to him with a look of annoyance and exasperation. The duke stood for a second longer before dropping his arms and pouting, sad that his attempt to spook the logical side failed. Logan glared at him for a moment before turning back to his computer, typing out a schedule for Thomas to follow for his videos this week. Remus sauntered over to him, to his usual spot to watch him work. Logan was definitely not in the mood for this today.

"Remus, I do not want to deal with you right now, please leave," he spoke in a stern voice.

Remus gasped in faux offense, placing his hand on his chest and taking a step back.

"Logan, I'm surprised at you! You've never been one to kick me out, what's so different about today?"

The duke place his head in his hand as he spoke, tapping his fingers on his chin as if lost in thought. His eyes widened as he put the pieces together.

"Oh I get it! You're upset that princey and sunshine won't listen to you, right?"

Logan shut his eyes tight and grimaced, wishing he could just be alone right now.

"Logan you should know by now, those two are so stuck in their ways, of course they're not gonna give a fu-"

"Remus, please," Logan exclaimed suddenly, "I know that now. They do not care about what I have to say, and they do not care about me."

Logan leaned onto the desk hanging his head.

"They...they dislike me, I know they do. And I don't understand why I'm letting that fact affect me so much. This is certainly not the first time they've elected to ignore me, and I know it won't be the last. I just..."

Logan rested his elbows on the desk and set his face in his hands.

"I wish they'd let me help them. I wish they'd let me speak. I wish they would stop mocking me when I do get to speak."

He had no idea how the creative side was reacting to him, and he also had no idea why he was even saying all this to him. He just felt the need to tell someone, and at the moment he couldn't think of anyone else he felt comfortable talking to about this subject.

"I apologize, I know you don't care. I won't be upset if you decide to leave, I know this is likely uncomfortable for you."

There was silence for a few seconds before Logan finally raised his head to look at the duke. He had an expression that he couldn't quite read. Concern? Pity? The logical side was never experienced with reading emotions.

Remus turned his gaze to the ground as he tried to figure out what to say.

"Logan, I...I do understand how that feels. No one ever wants to listen to me either. Which I know sometimes I tend to talk about things they find too disturbing, but...I'm never allowed a say in anything! Roman is always in charge of anything creative, while I'm shunned into my own part of the imagination that no one ever wants to go to."

For the first time Logan had ever seen, Remus was flustered. He had acted this way when Thomas first met him, but that was all just a performance. This was genuine.

Remus looked back at Logan and let out an embarrassed laugh.

"Oh shoot I'm sorry, I made this about myself again, didn't I? My apologies, I tend to do that without realizing."

Logan sighed and stood up, straightening his tie.

"No, it's quite alright. It is...comforting to know that at least one other side understands my situation."

Remus wrung his hands together, eyes turned to the ground again.

"Well...even if those two don't like being around you...I do," Remus said in a soft voice.

Logan was taken aback by the duke's words and furrowed his eyebrows.

"You do?"

"Well yeah, of course," Remus chuckled, "why do you think I come here so often?"

It dawned on Logan just then how often Remus does just...appear in his room. Never really messing with him, just staying near him. It never occurred to him that he did that because he enjoyed his presence.

"Well I...I had assumed you just did that to aggravate me," Logan raised his hand in confusion.

The duke giggled, playfully swatting his hands at Logan.

"Oh sweetie, if I wanted to mess with you I have much more fun and effective ways of doing so!"

Remus pulled out his throwing star and stuck his tongue out, reminding Logan of when he struck his head with it. Not a fond memory, he didn't want to let the others know that it actually hurt quite a lot. He shuddered thinking about it.

"I suppose you're right, but...why would you enjoy my company?"

Remus let out an exasperated sigh, plopping down on the corner of the bed. He fiddled with his sash with a shy look on his face.

"Because...you're the only other side that doesn't treat me like trash. Everyone else says I'm evil and scary, even," his hands froze and his voice became quiet, "...even Janus. And I-I thought he was my friend."

Logan thought back to what Janus had said to Roman after laughing at his name. He hadn't realized that had such an effect on Remus. The logical side felt a wave of pity for the duke, and he gently sat down next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry Remus, I wish I could have stopped him from saying that. You are not evil, and you can't help the things you say. You are representative of Thomas's intrusive thoughts after all, but that doesn't mean you should be treated in such a horrible way. We all have a purpose as sides, and we are all necessary for Thomas's well-being."

Remus smiled, a real genuine smile. Not like the smile he usually makes when bringing up inappropriate thoughts, this smile was warm and kind. He grabbed Logan's hand and held it firmly, catching Logan off guard. He didn't pull away though, somehow it felt...validating.

"Thanks nerdy wolverine, you're a pretty cool guy."

Logan felt a strange heat in his face. Was he blushing? He'd never blushed before. He awkwardly held the duke's hand in return.

"Uh, th-thank you Remus. I...to be honest, I also find your company enjoyable," he stammered, turning his face away to hide the redness.

They sat in silence for a bit, both starting to feel they could trust each other and find comfort in one another. Remus was the first to break the silence as he laid his head on the logical side's shoulder.

"Say Logan...would you like to come to my side of the imagination? We could dissect some dead animals, and I'd like to hear you explain how their organs work."

The other raised his head at the offer. He was never one to turn down learning, even learning about more morbid subjects interested him. He smiled and found himself resting his head on top of the duke's.

"Yes, I would very much like that."

Remus giggled and quickly jumped off the bed, spinning in place and offering his hand to Logan.

"Then off we go!"

Logan let out a small chuckle, finding Remus's energy endearing. He grabbed the duke's hand and stood with him as they prepared to sink out. Logan took another look at Remus, finding great comfort in his smile. As they left his room, he thought about how the others might react to him being with the duke. Would they be supportive? Or would they be disgusted?

He elected not to worry about it, as he had finally found someone he could be himself with. He wasn't going to let anyone's opinion of them affect him.

[emy-loves-you]

Sanders Sides AU-gust Day 11: Farm/Ranch

Roman is about to spend the summer on the ranch with his family. He might also have a crush in the form of his dad’s new employee, Virgil. Roman POV, Prinxiety with Logicality, Dukeceit and Creativitwins.

Day 10 | Masterlist | Day 12

“Roman, have you finished packing?”

“Yeah, Dad!” Roman yelled, haphazardly stuffing the rest of his things into his backpack.

“Then come downstairs. I’m about to call your father and brother.”

“K, on my way down!” Roman hurried downstairs, where his dad was sitting at the kitchen table. He was struggling with figuring out how to turn on the video call. Roman rolled his eyes fondly. After all these years of video calls and he still struggles? “Here, Dad. I’ll set it up.” His father sighed before handing over the laptop, adjusting his tie as he did so. Roman quickly set up the video chat, and was unsurprised that Remus answered. Roman snorted, “Hey, bro. Helping Papa with the computer?”

Remus smiled. “Yeah, still can’t figure it out after all these calls. I’m guessin’ you had the same struggle with Daddio?”

Roman smirked. “Of course. I swear, one day we’ll find out who we inherited our love of tech from. It definitely wasn’t these two goofballs.”

Dad grunted. “You are both aware that the two of us can hear you, correct?” The twins just laughed.

A voice on Remus’ end cut in. “Lo, let ‘em have their fun!” Remus moved to sit down, and Roman’s other dad was now visible. “Ro, look at you! You’ve gotten so big!”

Roman laughed. “Papa, you saw me a few days ago!”

His Papa smiled. “But every day the two of you get a little bit bigger. It feels like just yesterday the two of you came up to my knee, running around the chicken coops.” He suddenly gasped, and Roman saw his twin tense. “Speaking of growing up, someone’s got somethin’ to say.”

Remus grumbled. “ ‘s not much, really.”

Dad’s head tilted curiously. “Remus, I assure you that whatever you say won’t change our opinions of you. Now, what is making your father practically vibrate in his seat?”

Papa was actually vibrating with excitement, but that wasn’t as important as Remus suddenly shouting. “I have a boyfriend!”

Roman and his dad sat in silence for a moment before congratulating him. Roman eventually laughed. “So, ‘Remus  ‘I’ll-never-kiss-anyone-ever’ Sanders’ has a boyfriend.” Roman smirked as Remus blushed. “So, who’s the lucky guy?”

Remus coughed into his hand. “His name’s Janus, he moved here a few months ago and you’ll get to meet him when you get here. That’s all you need to know.”

Roman laughed. “Alright, keep your secrets. I’ll get my information eventually.” They chatted for another 20 minutes before discussing what would happen in the morning.

“Yes, Roman and I will be leaving at precisely 10 AM tomorrow morning. I’ve booked hotels in both Ohio and Missouri, and we should reach the farm by 3 PM in three days.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to have you down on the farm again! We’ve got new chickens, and you can meet Janus, and-”

“Patton, calm down. You’ll fall out of your seat if you keep bouncing.”

Roman watched as his Papa forced himself to stop bouncing, though his leg was still vibrating. He had a sheepish expression. “Sorry.”

Dad smiled fondly. “You did nothing wrong, Love. I just don’t want you to fall out of your chair and injure yourself again.”

Remus cleared his throat. “As much as I wanna see my dads making virtual goo-goo eyes in front of me.” Their dads blushed, looking away. “The two of you need to get some sleep before you leave tomorrow. We’ll see you in a few days.”

Papa waved to the camera. “Bye Ro! Bye Lo! Love you bunches and bunches!”

Dad smiled softly. “We love you too. We’ll see you soon.”

Roman smiled, ignoring the twist he felt in his gut every time they ended these calls. “Bye, see you in a few days.” He watched as the screen went blank.

Dad cleared his throat. “I was about to order dinner. Is there anything you would prefer?”

Roman smiled, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. “Pizza sounds nice.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Roman sighed as he collapsed onto his bed. He loved his dad, he really did. But sometimes Roman wished he could hide under the covers and stop existing. Socializing was just too much sometimes.

Bzzz.

Roman looked down at his phone. Remus had sent the usual ‘you up?’ text. Roman snorted. It was times like these that reminded Roman that Remus was just as socially inept as he is. Every night, Remus would ask if Roman was awake. And every night, Roman would say yes, because he’d stay up and wait for their nightly conversation. Even though they lived over 1,500 miles away, they were still just as similar as expected for identical twins. Roman shook his head as he focused on his phone.

Ro- (10:48 PM) Aright, spill

Re- (10:48 PM) I don’t know what you’re talking about

Ro- (10:48 PM) You know exactly what I’m talking about

Ro- (10:48 PM) Now spill. All the details

Re- (10:49 PM) GOD that man is the hottest guy I’ve ever met!

Re- (10:49 PM) His name’s Janus Cobra. He’s 6’3” and rich as hell

Re- (10:49 PM) His family moved here back in January. No siblings to speak of. Sorry bro ;)

Ro- (10:50 PM) Papa made it sound like you two were holding hands and confessing like little schoolgirls

Re- (10:50 PM) Hell no!

Re- (10:50 PM) He just saw us kissing each other goodbye and assumed it was our first kiss.

Re- (10:50 PM) We started making out back in March

Re- (10:51 PM) We’ve had sex on almost every part of the farm

Re- (10:51 PM) Except for the horse barn, V’s got a sixth sense about who’s in there

Ro- (10:51 PM) V?

Re- (10:52 PM) Virgil Storm

Re- (10:52 PM) Papa hired him back in February. You’ll like him

Re- (10:52 PM) Disney nerd, sarcastic as hell, calls everyone by nicknames, emo, almost as hot as Jannie

Ro- (10:53 PM) If you say so. He sounds fun, but I’m not sure about the ‘emo’ thing

Re- (10:53 PM) Don’t lie to me. I know you fantasize having a sexy guy sway you to the dark side

Re- (10:54 PM) I’m your brother. You can’t hide that shit from me

Ro- (10:54 PM) Damn you. Using my own thoughts against me

Re- (10:54 PM) It’s my job :)

Re- (10:54 PM) I’ll be sure to introduce you to V when you get here

Re- (10:54 PM) Now get some sleep

Ro- (10:55 PM) Alright. Goodnight Re

Re- (10:55 PM) Night Ro. Don’t let the bedbugs crawl into your ears while you sleep!

Ro- (10:55 PM) Ew

Roman sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. He started thinking about what he would do once he visited Remus and Papa. Then his mind started to drift back into the past.

Patton and Logan Sanders loved each other more than anything. But Patton’s dream was to live in Kansas on his farm, while Logan’s dream was to teach at his father’s old college in New York. So they split up, and each took a twin with them. They’re still married and in love, just far apart. Logan and Patton call each other every day, and they do family video calls twice a week. Patton and Remus spend the winter holidays in New York, while Roman and Logan spend their summer vacations in Kansas.

Roman yawned. Maybe this ‘Virgil’ will make the summer more interesting. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

[dukeofonions]

Thoughts on the new Asides

Alright, I’ve watched the new video three times at this point and finally have my thoughts together. Also just in case anyone was wondering no. 

No I did not get breakfast magically delivered to me and had to eat a bowl of cereal. 

Oh well, there’s always next time. 

Anywho, spoilers below if you haven’t seen the episode yet I would not recommend reading this. 

Ready? Let’s go.

So what are my general thoughts here, I loved it. Sure there were some things that didn’t make sense to me writing wise but overall this was an adorable, funny episode that provided us with a nice break from all the angst of the main series. 

Now to get into the nitty gritty. 

Right off the bat the art for this was just amazing. Honestly the idea to make this episode as an animatic was a brilliant move. Not just because of how things are right now in the world (but we don’t wanna think about that) but using this form allows the characters to interact in ways that they can’t when filming live. We got to see Roman and Virgil engaging with the world around them and how they interacting with Thomas when he’s not at home. It also gives us an idea of what the world of Sanders Sides is like. Everyone acts a little more cartoony, but it still feels like the real world as well. 

Also the expressions on the characters, even the background ones, were perfect. You could tell so much from a quick expression or body language and as an animation nerd, I was in love from the get go. Honestly the team should think about utilizing this format more with these Asides as it allows more freedom for the characters which can help aid the story and can be used for comedy. Not saying every episode should be animated, but if they have an idea that they simply can’t achieve in live action, they now know that this format works. 

And now, on to the characters. 

So this is a Roman and Virgil episode, none of the other Sides make an appearance or are even mentioned. (Well I guess Janus is vaguely referenced with all the talk of lies going around) But I can understand their absence even though I would have loved to see them even briefly like how Remus and Janus were in Are There Healthy Distractions but besides one character (which I will get too later) I didn’t really mind and it didn’t take away my enjoyment of the episode. 

As usual, Virgil and Roman have a great dynamic and are hilarious with how they bounce off one another. I do question the timeline of this episode given how relaxed Virgil is around Thomas, considering the last time they were together they weren’t on the best footing and he wasn’t present at all during Putting Others First. But I’ll probably make another post about that. 

Starting with Virgil, it was fun seeing him act more like his pre-AA self. Getting onto Thomas’ case about every little thing was both hilarious and way too relatable (like way to call a dude out) and him explaining introvert culture was just *cheff’s kiss* It was nice to him slightly more laid back and worrying about something else other than whether or not Thomas is a good person and keeping a dark secret about his past hidden. Also the ending with him openly celebrating with Thomas and Roman was adorable. We’ve never seen Virgil with his guard down like this, letting himself be genuinely happy in front of the others. He always hides that part of him and seeing him like this just warmed my heart because that means Thomas himself isn’t feeling anxious and is allowing himself to enjoy the moment. Sure there are some moments of doubt here and there, but it was overall a great scene and I was glad they gave us a scene with them in the apartment. 

Now Roman? Oh my gosh I needed an episode where he got his happy ending and it has arrived! Considering the punch to the gut that was POF’s ending I was ecstatic to see Roman finally, finally getting something he wanted. Think about it. Roman recently gave up the callback, which he wanted more than anything, only to have it all blow up in his face and be told that his sacrifice was all for nothing. Like, ouch. But here we see him once again pursuing something he wants, and he actually gets it! He probably thought it was going to be yet another loss for him, all their efforts were for nothing, but it wasn’t! That’s one thing I love about Roman, no matter how many times he loses he never stops trying. Even when he gets knocked down to his lowest he won’t hesitate to grab the next opportunity that comes his way. And as we can see, that will and determination has paid off. 

Of course we can’t forget about Thomas himself. He’s so lovable in this, trying to just get through what should be a simple shopping trip at the mall only to have the most minor things continue to interfere with that. We don’t ever really see Thomas outside of his apartment so it’s nice to finally have an explanation for that. The focus of this episode though is his attempts to find out more about the handsome stranger across the food court and work up the nerve to talk to him. One of the funniest parts of this episode (in my opinion) is when Thomas comes up with the brilliant idea to use the stickers and pins as a way to start a conversation (which honestly could have been sparked by Logan who’s had enough of this) only for it to be shot down as a horrible idea because, what else would anxiety tell you? The monologue in the bathroom was another highlight of this episode and just, gosh Thomas’ acting here is just great. Even though we can only hear his voice there’s just so much emotion put into it. It honestly sounds like he’s crying in some parts and I loved it just as much as the bathroom guy did. 

And finally, last but certainly not least, we have the wonderful Nico Flores. I did not expect to love him as much as I did but like, my gosh how can you not? He’s that perfect mix of cool while still being a bit of a dork. Like did he just grab a stranger’s food and wander around looking for them to return it? Had he noticed Thomas go in the bathroom and was just awkwardly standing around waiting for him to come out? His relationship with Thomas is already super cute and I hope that he becomes a recurring character and love interest for Thomas.  (Note when I say Thomas I am referring to character!Thomas and not the real Thomas) Seeing as Thomas (now referring to the real one) said this episode would be important to the plot of Sanders Sides, I think it’s safe to assume Nico will be making a return and I for one can’t wait to see more of him, along with seeing how his relationship with Thomas develops. 

If I had anything negative to say about this episode, I’d have three negative things to say. 

I’ll start with one that I sorta brought up earlier which regarded the absence of a certain character that just didn’t really make sense to me, and that character is Patton. Now for Logan, Janus, and Remus, I can see why they wouldn’t be there. Logan doesn’t do feelings. Janus and Virgil would be having a hissy fit the entire time. And we all know what Remus would be doing. Not saying none of them could have shown up briefly, but their absence doesn’t bother me as much as Patton’s does. 

Patton is Thomas’ heart, the core of all his feelings, why wouldn’t the heart be present during a time where Thomas is starting to fall in love? He wasn’t mentioned or anything! Not even when Roman was literally telling Thomas to speak from the heart. It just rubbed me the wrong way that he wasn’t brought up at all and the reason for that has to do with another problem I had with this episode, and that was the choice to have the main thing keeping Thomas from talking to Nico was him being a liar. 

The episode starts with hitting the audience on the head with this idea that Thomas is struggling with lying. Despite the fact that nothing that happens is really his fault and everything else isn’t really a big deal. I just found it odd that this was the thing they were having Virgil and Roman get onto Thomas’ case for considering, well, we already had an episode (multiple really) that have already addressed this. One could say this was a result of Roman and Virgil teaming up and being upset over Janus’ partial acceptance. The reason I don’t think this is likely is because Thomas said Virgil finding out about Janus would be a major plot point and I doubt something like that would have happened off screen (honestly the timeline for this video is so confusing) 

Another reason this bothered me is because Virgil comes to the conclusion that everything that has gone wrong (the rehearsing in the bathroom, the old friend in the food court, the plant, the pretending, the hiding, the god forsaken boiled carrots) are all lies and Thomas can’t build a relationship off of lies. 

But... He literally wasn’t doing that? 

At this point Thomas hasn’t even talked to Nico yet. He lied to the guy in the bathroom regarding the monologue (who wouldn’t) and he tried to pretend to be a stranger’s friend (which backfired horribly so lesson learned) I don’t even know how the plant would be considered a lie (and Virgil was the one who pushed him over there anyway) I’m not sure what Virgil’s referring to with the pretending and the hiding I can only assume is when they hid in a trashcan (unless I’m not meant to take that literally) and with the carrots Thomas should have just walked away the moment he saw the rainbow pin on the backpack. That was his fault.

But not once did Thomas lie about anything to Nico. In fact when they finally started talking Thomas was nothing but honest with him, embarrassingly so. The thing Virgil was claiming to be the source of the problem just, wasn’t true. It didn’t make sense to me and still doesn’t even after my third viewing. What I had originally thought was going to happen was that they’d come to a conclusion that tied into Moving On, the episode where Thomas dealt with the aftermath of a break up with Roman, Virgil, and Patton. 

Wouldn’t that be something they’d be afraid of? Say Thomas managed to hit it off with this guy. They start dating, everything is going well, only for it to end the same way his last relationship did. Wouldn’t it make a little more since for the main thing to be holding Thomas back is the fear of getting his heart broken again? Of losing yet another person he loved? 

Which brings me back to previous point of Patton not being there. Considering these three were the ones to help Thomas resolve things in Moving On, why shouldn’t these three be the ones to be by him when beginning a new relationship? 

Unless Patton’s been avoiding these two since currently Virgil is still on rocky ground with Patton and after what happened in POF. But again we have no idea since we don’t know when this episode takes place (well as of writing this I have no idea considering how long it’s taken me to write this Thomas may have tweeted about it or something) 

Another potential reason for Patton not being there is basically what I said earlier. In Moving On he was the one struggling the most since he’s Thomas’ feelings. He could have been overwhelmed by all the emotions Thomas was dealing with and simply couldn’t bring himself to show up. This has me hoping that we’ll get a follow up Asides episode where we get to see the other side’s reactions to Nico. If not all of them at least Logan and Patton since it’s been awhile since those two had an episode together. 

If that’s the case then I can understand keeping Patton out of this one. But that doesn’t change the fact that I find the whole “lies” thing to be a bit ridiculous. 

The final thing I have some of an issue with is how Virgil was the one to “save the day” in this. Throughout this episode Virgil was the one causing the problems (which isn’t to say anything bad about Virgil it’s literally his job to protect Thomas and that includes protecting him from rejection and heartbreak) while Roman was pushing Thomas to go take a chance. I dunno, this one isn’t as big of an issue since I still like the conclusion and Roman calling Virgil brave. It just would have been nice to see Roman going for something and getting it himself. Or at least him and Virgil deciding together that they weren’t going to let this opportunity go. 

I dunno, I’m kinda impartial on that one. I just want to see Roman succeed. 

And there you have it. Those are my thoughts. As usual, you may take them with a grain of salt. But also feel free to share your own opinions on this episode. It’s definitely become a favorite of mine and is up there with my other favorites. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go be sad because bathroom guy had his hopes and dreams crushed and he deserves justice. 

[galactic-magick]

Distance: Patton x Reader

Request: Hii! Could i get a Patton x Reader with the prompts 14 and 35 in the beginning, then 8 towards the end please? I had this idea where its a human au and Patton and Reader met when they were young at summer camp. Patton feels homesick and Reader sees them and decided to comfort them. Years pass and they get jobs and stuff and because they didnt live near eachother they'd usually talk on the phone, but stopped. One day reader calls and says prompt 8 and Patton confesses his love on the phone. - @autumnfalls26​

Summary: Your childhood best friend you met at a summer camp crosses your mind again.

Words: 1400+                                        

Warnings: none I think? Touch of angst ig

Author’s Notes: Present day is in normal text and flashback to when you were kids is in italics. Idk why I got emotional writing this lol. Maybe cuz I’m a Patton kinnie.

Taglist: @luluwinchester​ @nerve-ous-love​ @zarieslayer​ @amayaisokay​

-                                

-

-

The door shuts, and you let out a long awaited breath.

It wasn’t any different than a normal day. You got up. You went to work. And now you’re home.

But every day it hurts more and more, the constant strain of being an adult and having to abandon your dreams for more “productive” activities. Your life feels empty, like something is missing.

You slump on the couch and glance at the shelf, pictures lined up in no particular order. Family and friends occupy the frames, and one of them has a group picture of the summer camp you went to when you were younger.

You hoist yourself up, walking over and grabbing the latter. Everyone’s smiling, sweaty and dirty, and you get a laugh out of your younger self’s chubby cheeks and toothy grin.

You look at the little boy next to you. Patton Sanders was his name.

Is, you correct yourself. He’s still around, even though you don’t talk anymore.

It’s not that anything happened. You just, grew apart. You connected so well as kids at that camp, becoming best friends basically on the first day. After it was over you talked on the phone almost every day throughout middle school, high school around once a week, but after that, the contact lessened. With college and jobs and whatnot, you simply stopped talking as much.

And now you can’t remember the last time you called him.

 “Are you okay?” you plopped down on the bench next to the boy you saw crying.

He sniffled, looking at you, “Yeah, I’m fine,”

“Hi fine, I’m Y/N!”

His tears stopped almost as if by command, and he stared at you.

Then he burst out laughing, “You like dad jokes too?”

“What do you mean? I’m not a dad,” you shook your head.

“Oh. Sorry. One of the big kids told me that’s what my jokes are called,”

“Did the big kids make you cry?” you cocked your head.

“No, I was just feeling sad,” another tear started to fall despite you lightening his mood.

“Why?”

“I miss home. I’ve never been away from home this long without my parents,”

You stood up firmly, your hands on your hips and staring right at him, “Will you quit raining on your own parade? We can do whatever we want here! No parents means no rules!”

“I guess so…”

“We can play on the playground as long as we want! We don’t have to eat vegetables! We can stay up late!” you didn’t mean to yell at him, you were just excited. “What’s your name anyway?”

“Patton,”

“Hi Patton,” you grabbed his arm and pulled him up. “C’mon, let’s go explore,”

“B-But what if we get lost? What if we get in trouble?”

“It’s okay, I’ll be holding your hand the entire time,”

And just like that, your hand slid into his, and he didn’t let go for dear life.

 The camp was only for a week, but you spent nearly every minute together. Patton felt safe with you, and you loved hanging out with him. You stuck by him during all the meals and group activities, and your free time too. Fortunately your cabins happened to be next to each other as well, and a couple of the nights you snuck out and just talked for hours on the swing set.

You’d never had a real best friend before, and neither had he. When your parents came to pick you up you immediately begged them to exchange numbers and emails so you could keep in touch. You houses weren’t extremely far apart, but still a couple cities away, a little over an hour’s drive. You thought you might be able to meet up once in a while, but not often.

 You set the picture back down, sighing. Childish memories usually make people happy, so why does this sting so much?

Is this what missing someone feels like? Really missing someone?

You pull out your phone from your pocket and bring up his contact.

You can’t imagine he’d want to hear from you. Why would he? What are you even supposed to say? “Hey man, long time no see”?

Incredibly underwhelming compared to what you want to say.

You want to tell him how much he meant to you all those years. How much it meant for him to talk to you every time you needed it. You told him everything, literally every single detail about your day. You laughed at each other’s dumb jokes. You cried over the phone multiple times, and so did he.

You helped each other with homework that neither of you could understand.

You tried to see each other in person at least once a year.

When you asked him to your school dance and he wasn’t able to make it, he made it up to you by sending you a package full of your favorite things and video calling you for hours.

When his pet dog died, you drove all the way to his house just to give him a hug, even though your parents didn’t like you taking the car without permission.

All you want is to know how he is. You want to know if he’s doing well, if life is treating him alright. Does he have a partner? He must, right? Is he still at the same job? Did he finish his degree?

You press the call button before you can convince yourself out of it.

He picks up surprisingly fast.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Pat,” you smile at the sound of his voice. “Sorry about this, I’m sure you’re busy,”

“No! Not busy at all,”

“Oh,” you sit back down on the couch. “I know this might sound kind of stupid, but I was just thinking about you today, ya know, wishing we were kids again,”

There’s a silence.

“Pat? You there?”

“Y-yeah, sorry,” nervous laughter muffles his words. “I’ve just been thinking about you too. Coincidence, huh?”

“I just…I feel so bad that we barely talk anymore, ya know? Like you were my best friend for my entire life, how could I lose you like that?” you can’t believe you’re saying all this so freely, but it’s always been like that with him. It’s like you physically can’t hold anything back, even when he’s on the phone miles away.

“You never lost me,”

“What?”

“You never lost me, Y/N. I’ve always thought of you as my best friend no matter how much or little we’re talking. I’ll always wait for you,”

Your eyes water at that last comment. Although it sounded more like a promise.

“You know,” he continues. “While we’re on the subject, I should probably tell you something I should’ve told you a long time ago,”

“Mmhm?”

“Well, I kind of was in love with you, during all that time,”

“Really?”

“Yeah…And if I’m being honest, I think I still am,”

You clap your hand over your mouth and almost drop your phone.

I mean, it’s not like you’re dumb. You knew there was always something there between you, and it certainly wasn’t one sided. But it was something unspoken, something neither of you ever put words to.

And you assumed it faded away along with your friendship.

But after hearing him say that, everything comes flooding back. All the other memories, all the feelings.

At this point you’d just marry him on the spot.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

You clear your throat, “Yeah, I’m fine,”

“Hi fine, I’m Patton,”

You chuckle, and he laughs right along with you.

“Gosh I wish I could see you right now so I can say that back,” you sigh.

“Just a minute,” he says, abruptly ending the call.

You sit there staring at your empty screen, wondering what happened.

He doesn’t think he can literally get here in a minute, does he?

Knock. Knock.

You run to the door and open it, shocked to see Patton standing right there in front of you.

Before you can say anything, he pulls you into a tight hug.

“How did you get here so fast?” you mumble into his shoulder.

“I was thinking about you, so I wanted to see you and surprise you. I was already almost here when you called me,”

“Wow,” is all you can muster.

He lets you go, but only so he can bring his hands to the sides of your face. You look into his eyes, and there’s nothing but joy in them. No bitterness, no anger, just love.

“I love you too, by the way,” you smile, your cheeks squishing a bit against his palms.

He looks like he’s about to cry, but you’ll never know for sure.

Because his lips are on yours faster than you can ask if he’s okay again.

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 6)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 My Master Post

Roman and Remus piled into Janus’s car to head to the grocery store. It was pulled into Remy Gate’s driveway and only a few feet away whereas Roman had parked down the street and Remus had likely parked somewhere nearer to the park not that Roman cared to get into that death trap. (His father and Remus had built it together when Roman and Remus had been 14 and Roman loved them both dearly and dad was smart, but he wasn’t an engineer or mechanic and Remus was a beacon of chaos. It did not matter that the car had managed to hold up for almost 10 years whereas Roman was on his third car. He still would never trust the dammed thing. Ever.)

Janus’s car was the exact opposite of Remus’s. Roman wasn’t very good with cars, but even he could tell it was an expensive one (that was likely not constructed by a teenager and his dad in a garage) with no dents or rust and it still had that new car smell when he got inside. Roman could probably buy his apartment complex for how much money the thing was worth.

Yet, despite that, Remus seemed familiar with the car. He hopped straight into the passenger seat and started pushing buttons, the functions of which Roman did not know. One thing he did understand was the dials for the radio and that when Remus tapped the saved radio station under the 3rd slot, it switched to Remus’s favorite channel.

Remus then leaned back against the seat and put his feet up on the dash.

“Why do you have to be this?” Janus asked sounding exhausted the moment he opened the driver’s side door and the very intense bagpipe music met his ears. He reached into the car to slap Remus’s calves.

Remus didn’t move them but just smiled. “It’s piobaireachd day,” he said happily.

Janus shook his head and moved to sit down. He yelped immediately and shot forward on the seat. “You turned on the seat massagers?!”

“Of course, I turned on the seat massagers, Jay.”

“Ugh I don’t want those things on.” He started pushing buttons himself.

The hazard lights came on as well as the windshield wipers and some beeping started up. “Ugh! Remus! How do you turn these things off?” He slammed a hand against the dashboard and lights in the back suddenly were blinding Roman. “Stupid piece of scrap metal!”

Remus batted his hands away and put the car to rights again rather quickly. Janus mumbled a couple more curses under his breath but didn’t do anything more as he put the car into reverse and started driving down the street.

“Okay,” he said once they were moving, his creepily calm attitude back in place again.

So, this was Remus’s partner? Roman of course knew a bit more about what Remus did than most of the other people in the agency considering Remus was his brother. Not to mention, they were both the sons of Logan Sanders so if they wanted to talk about anything when they got together to have dinner every other Saturday, it was probably going to end up being about the covert spy operations everyone went on. (Dad pretended not to be a gossip, but at the end of the day…) So, Roman knew that Remus was a triple agent. He pretended to spy on dad for Barbara Nelsen when he was actually spying on Nelson for dad.

Roman also knew a bit about his partner. Remus had even let slip the nickname Jay a couple of times and talked affectionately about him. Janus was a double agent turning on Nelson to work for dad. However, Roman had not been aware that Janus was Nelson’s son, a fact which he’d surmised since Janus had said his mother killed Remy.

Which was… hmm. Obviously, dad had to know that information and trusted him enough to take his word as a double agent, but it still gave Roman a bit of pause. Not to mention, he was clearly a cold and efficient a liar which served to put Roman even more on edge.

The only thing keeping Roman from insisting they leave him was the way he acted around Remus. Remus had provided the only cracks in his carefully constructed calm but vicious front. Every time Remus did or said something Remusy, Janus would give him one of those fondly exasperated looks that only Remus could provoke, and they seemed to be more than just partners, but friends.

So, Roman was going to choose to trust him for a moment, attributing the roughness to his missing brother.

“What’s the plan?” Janus asked when they pulled into the grocery store’s parking lot.

“I have an FBI agent ID,” Roman said. “I can go push for information at the front desk.”

Janus nodded and his fingers tapped twice against the steering wheel before he stopped the nervous tick. “He might also hide outside the store. There is a small creek behind the store he used to go get muddy in. He will be, well… maybe he will be less likely to run from me and I know the area so I’ll check there. Remus can check inside the store while you ask around.”

“Okay, that works,” Roman agreed. “Meet back at the car afterwards?”

Janus nodded as he pulled into a parking spot. Remus slapped Janus on the shoulder before exiting the car and got a scowl at his back in return.

Roman shook his head and followed them out of the car. Janus separated from them a few feet before the door to the grocery store and Remus and Roman entered the store together.

“I’mma go check out the store,” Remus said.

“Okay, don’t do anything stupid,” Roman said as he walked away. He got a flippant wave in return. “Remus! Don’t do anything stupid, please!” And… he was gone. Roman shook his head and turned, searching for the front desk.

He reached for his wallet and smiled at the employee at the front desk. “Hello ma’am,” he said. “I’m looking for someone and I was hoping you’d help me.” He pulled out his only sortof fake FBI ID to show her.

“I’m looking for a teenager who has gone missing and is connected to a case and we have reports that he may have come in here. Perhaps you’ve seen him,” Roman said. He took out his phone to show her the picture of Virgil that he’d been sent only to find that his screen had been cracked and it wouldn’t turn on, likely damaged in the fight with Janus. Great. He looked back up the woman. “I apparently don’t have a picture to show you at the moment, but you’ve possibly seen him before as he lives in the neighborhood. “Virgil Gates?”

He got a blank stare in return.

Fantastic.

He spent another 15 or so minutes trying to explain to the woman who he was looking for (a difficult task as all he had to go off of was the memory of one picture that he’d been sent an hour ago) and getting shrugs and apologies in response. Eventually he left and looked around the store for a bit himself. His brother was suspiciously absent from everywhere Roman looked.

Eventually he wandered back to the front by himself only to see Remus coming from the checkout with a bag full of snack foods.

Roman crossed his arms. “You were supposed to be looking for a missing minor, not shopping.”

“Chill,” Remus said making Roman want to do the opposite of ‘chill,’ “I looked for the kid and shopped at the same time. I even got Cheetos!” he smiled widely as they left the store. “Also, I broke into their security office!”

“You what?!” Roman asked.

“I broke into their security office,” Remus repeated happily.

“And why,” Janus asked tiredly while walking up to them, “did you do that.”

“To get the security camera footage, duh,” he said pointing at a camera near the top of the door. “I figured he might have not gone inside, but the neighbor said he headed in this direction, so that thing probably saw him.”

“That’s actually pretty smart,” Roman said. “Though we probably could have just asked.”

Remus shrugged. “Luckily they apparently save security footage to a cloud and I was able to download it pretty easily. We should be able to see everything that happened inside and outside the grocery store in the last two hours assuming you’ve got something to watch it on.”

Janus nodded and led them back to his car where he took a laptop out of his trunk. Remus downloaded the footage and then handed it over to Janus. “You’ll be able to spot him best since you know what he looks like better than us.”

It took almost 20 minutes of Janus watching the surveillance video for him to find what he was looking for. “Got him,” he said. Roman leaned over to get a good look at the screen. The video feed was a bit blurry, but he could see a lanky teenager with dark hair running to the grocery store parking lot. He took a break when he got there and looked behind him probably to make sure he hadn’t been followed. Then he found a bush to hid behind. They watched for a few minutes until finally he hopped back up and started walking towards a car.

“What’s he doing?” Roman asked as the boy on the camera glanced around himself to make sure nobody was watching before starting to fiddle with something.

“Oh god,” Janus groaned, “why did I teach him how to pick a car lock? Emile was right.”

They watched as he managed to pop the door open to the stranger’s car and slipped inside. Not even 5 minutes later, a man with grocery bags got into the front seat though it was too blurry to see who he was or the license plate on the car. The car drove out of the parking lot after a few more minutes.

“God dammit, Virgil,” Janus hissed and Roman barely saved the laptop from crashing to the ground. “Now he’s just in the back of some random person’s car!” he started pacing back and forth, steam practically pouring from his ears. Roman was almost scared for Virgil when Janus managed to find him because he looked ready to commit a murder. “That was over an hour ago. Who knows where he could be by now! Who knows what could have happened to him by now!” And, oh, Roman realized. He wasn’t angry. Not really. He was terrified. “What the hell am I supposed to do?!” he kicked the car fender, leaving a dent and then he kicked it again.

Then a phone rang in his pocket and he froze, all emotion draining off his face startlingly quickly. Roman was confused because he was pretty sure he’d seen Janus step on his phone earlier, but the one he pulled out now was a different type. He glanced at the caller ID and said, “it’s my mother.”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 7

[peaceoutofthepieces]

chapter 22.5

When My Phone Turns Off

You can all thank @ciaraparkie for pointing out that this is the best way of doing this particular plot point. You can assume it occurred yesterday after the events of chapter 22, or today before the events of the next chapter.

Jens is glad this is one of the days they’ve planned to meet up with Sander after school so they could all head to the skatepark together. He never thought he’d be so happy about such a thing, but he’s a little relieved to have that extra source of support. Robbe, however, gives him a worried glance and leans in close to him, asking, “Is it okay that Sander’s here?”

Jens purses his lips and nods, squeezing Robbe’s shoulder reassuringly. Sander notices, and obviously understands, asking, “You’re doing that today?”

“Yeah,” Jens sighs, glancing at Moyo and Aaron a few paces ahead. He doesn’t know why he’s worried. At this point, they’ve spent enough time with Robbe and Sander that it’d be impossible to still be secretly hiding any problem with it. At least, he thinks so. At this point, they’re actively supportive. 

But for Jens to come out now, months later...he’s worried it’s going to be a little weird. Again. 

“Yo, pussies,” Moyo calls back to them. “Are you planning on actually making it to the park today or what?”

Jens flips him off and he laughs, pushing Aaron ahead of him and jogging on down the street. Robbe gives Jens a small smile and Sander gives his back a reassuring pat. Jens takes a breath and follows them. 

At the skatepark, he sits at the top of a ramp with Sander and watches the others do a few runs. He waits for Robbe to start showing off, but he’s too busy sending glances at them to try many tricks. Sander watches him in awe regardless, sitting silently next to Jens with his camera at the ready. 

“You don’t have to tell them today, you know,” Sander says. “When Robbe asked, he was trying to rush you.”

Jens sighs. “I know. Of course I know that. But I’ve already been not telling them for weeks.”

“Yeah but you’ve only known for weeks. You don’t owe it to anyone to tell them. Not if you don’t want to, not before you’re ready.”

“It’s different, though,” Jens points out. “With Lucas. There’s more to it than just telling them I’m bi.”

“You’re what?”

Jens and Sander look up to find Moyo standing behind them, face surprised as he stares at Jens. Jens can’t see any malice there, any disgust, and yet his chest tightens all the same. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. He was supposed to actually tell them, not have them overhear. Sander sends him a look, worried and apologetic, and Jens simply shrugs. He isn’t going to take it back now, even if it isn’t going exactly as planned. 

He didn’t have that much of a plan in the first place. 

He catches Robbe’s gaze and beckons him over, watching him collect Aaron on his way. Moyo sits down next to Jens as Robbe jogs up and tucks himself into Sander’s side. Once Aaron’s seated next to Moyo, Jens twists around to face them and tries to be comforted by the knowledge of Robbe and Sander at his back. Moyo’s eyes flit over his face, questioning. “You’re bi?”

“What?” Aaron asks, mouth dropping open. 

Jens smiles slightly and gives them a small shrug. “Yeah.”

Moyo licks his lips, shaking his head, as Aaron blinks at him. “Since when?” Moyo asks.

Jens hears Sander huff a laugh. “Since always, I guess. Since when have I known? A few weeks.

Moyo nods, looking straight ahead. Aaron looks between the two of them before settling his focus on Jens. “And what,” he pauses, clearing his throat, “what made you, uhm, realise this?”

Jens bites his lip, debates for a second, and then says, “It was Moyo, actually.”

Moyo whips back around to look at him, wide-eyed. “Me?” he demands, as Robbe bursts out laughing. 

Jens joins him, giggling lightly as he says, “No, not like that. Damn. I mean, when you told us to check out other YouTube channels, I...I found this guy.” Moyo nods in understanding and waits for him to continue. Jens sighs. “It’s kind of a long story?”

Moyo shares a look with Aaron, then shrugs. He offers Jens a smile. “We’ve got time.”

So, Jens tells them much the same story as he told Robbe. He allows himself to go into a little more detail, backtracking when he realises he’s left something out. Robbe points these out occasionally, when Jens gets lost and starts going too fast, but aside from that there aren’t many interruptions. Moyo and Aaron listen intently, as does Sander, taking in Jens’s full account of the story instead of Robbe’s passed-on information. It makes his chest pinch, talking about it again, talking about it out loud, reminding himself of Lucas at all. It also feels therapeutic, more so than when he talked about it with Robbe, when the hurt was still too raw, the wound still too fresh. There’s still a thread of pain there, twined tightly with a spool of anger, all doused in the overwhelming feeling of loss that he’d felt even before blocking the boy, as soon as the realisation had set in. 

Moyo and Aaron are silent when he’s done, taking it all in, considering. Jens doesn’t expect to get anything new out of this, doesn’t expect them to give him any reassurance that Robbe hasn’t already. 

Still, they try. 

“Maybe he is telling the truth, though?” Aaron tries. “About you, I mean. It sounds like he was being sincere?”

Moyo nods. “Yeah, man. Like, why would you go to that much work just for a joke? And why would he follow you, like your posts and shit if he was just playing a game?”

“He didn’t know it was me,” Jens points out. 

“When he followed you, yeah,” Moyo agrees. “But after that? It doesn’t fit. Why would he flirt with you, and come out to you and whatever all for a joke? I would’ve been the kind of person to take the piss like that and I never would have gone to that much effort. That’d take like, a seriously sick person. And I don’t think this dude is like that. Really.”

Jens sighs, slumping until his back hits Sander’s shoulder. Sander makes a small noise of protest, but doesn’t push him off. Robbe laughs quietly and says, “I’ve already told you all this, but if Moyo thinks it's sick and wouldn’t do it, I can’t imagine Lucas would. Imagine how much of a dick he’d have to be.”

Moyo flips Robbe off, but also gestures his agreement. Jens smiles, shaking his head at them. “I was hoping you two would be on my side,” he jokes. 

“Well this whole not thinking he’s really into you thing reminds me of another situation,” Moyo points out, with a pointed look over Jens’s shoulder. Sander squeezes Robbe closer to his side and drops a kiss onto his head. “And it worked out okay for them.”

“He has a point,” Sander shrugs, purposefully jostling Jens and earning a grumble in answer. “If he really means that much to you, maybe it’s worth fighting for him.”

“Or at least forgiving him,” Robbe adds softly. Jens looks back at him and Robbe gives a little shrug. “You’ll never be able to let it go if you leave it without some kind of resolution. You’ll always either be mad or wondering if you were wrong. Or both.”

Jens really hates when Robbe’s right. 

Still, he shakes his head. “I can’t go back on myself now. I definitely can’t be the one to reach out. That’s a whole new level of pathetic.”

Aaron shrugs. “Maybe he’d like you taking pathetic to a new level.”

Moyo looks around him and makes a face. “What the fuck, man? No. He’s not doing that.” He turns back to Jens. “You’re not doing that, right?”

“Right,” Jens agrees quickly. Even if he’s willing to forgive Lucas, or at least hear him out, at least consider that he was honest about his feelings, he isn’t going to go crawling back to him. Ever. Lucas doesn’t deserve that amount of attention from him. But, maybe he could be convinced to unblock him, eventually. To leave the ball in Lucas’s court. 

He’ll have probably already moved on by then, anyway. 

“What does this guy look like, anyway?” Aaron questions. “Did you do as well as Robbe?”

Jens snorts as Sander grins, but he pulls up a pic of Lucas. “Nice,” Sander says. 

Jens twists around to look at him. “Robbe didn’t show you?” Sander shakes his head, so Jens passes him the phone. 

Sander considers the last image Lucas posted, complete with his personal favourite black and white filter, and simply comments, “Cute. I understand why you’d watch his videos.”

Robbe makes an indignant sound and Jens laughs, passing the phone to Moyo and Aaron, who huddle together to examine it. They both hum, and Aaron shrugs as Moyo gives the phone back to Jens. “I mean, he’s no Sander, but…”

“But he’s pretty fucking pretty?” Jens finishes. “Yeah. I know.”

Sander reaches around Jens to pinch his cheek. “But not as pretty as you,” he cooes. Jens bats him away. 

“Listen, we can’t tell you what to do, but Robbe’s right. I think you should give him a second chance,” Moyo says.

Jens raises a brow. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d be so…”

“Supportive?” Robbe offers.

“I was gonna say chill but, yeah, actually.”

Moyo huffs, looking away from them as he says. “I get that last time wasn’t my best moment but...I’m not good at apologising, okay? I know I’m not good at these things. I’m learning. But you know I love you, man,” he punches Jens’s arm. “That’s enough, yeah?”

Jens nods, returning his smile. Since the start of their friendship, Moyo’s been closer to Jens than he ever was to Robbe. Their friendship maybe even improved after everything, when Moyo made it clear that even though he wasn’t sure how to react and didn’t know how to be supportive at the time, he wasn’t willing to lose Robbe over it. Jens is glad the same sentiment extends to him, and that he’s coming out at a time where they’re all a bit more educated. 

“It won’t be a problem anymore if you’re all done coming out to me,” Moyo points out, giving Aaron a look. It takes Aaron a moment to notice him, but then he starts sputtering, pointing out that he already has a girlfriend and being hit back with the reminder that all three of the others also had girlfriends. 

“Okay but wait,” Aaron says, returning his attention to Jens. “Does this mean you’d fuck me?”

“Man,” Moyo says, as Robbe and Jens start laughing.

“No. Sorry bro,” Jens apologises. 

Aaron groans. “Who, out of us then?”

“Obviously me,” Moyo says.

“No,” Jens laughs. “Out of you? Sander.”

“Really?” Sander asks, sounding genuinely intrigued.

Robbe moves from under his arm, sitting up to pout at them. “Hey, Sander wasn’t an option last time, it’s supposed to be out of the Broerrrs.” 

“Sander is an honorary Broerrr,” Jens points out.

“True, but Robbe’s right,” Moyo says. “Sander wasn’t an option last time.”

“Then Robbe,” Jens says immediately. Robbe cheers, offering Jens a fist bump.

“Seriously?” Aaron gawks. “What the fuck.”

“You’re last again, man,” Moyo laughs.

Aaron protests, “No, he didn’t pick between us.” Moyo rolls his eyes, but they both look to Jens. Jens points at Moyo and Aaron groans.

While they’re laughing, Jens feels at peace. He realises that, for a moment, he’d completely forgotten about Lucas.

[stubbornness-and-spite]

Never Doubt I Love

Inspired by THIS post from @pretty-as-princey

Fandom: Sanders Sides - part of my collection Remind Me Why I Fell In Love With Happy Endings(Happy Endings)

Characters: Patton-centric, Roman, Logan, Virgil, Janus

Relationships: Patton & Everyone

Warnings: bad self esteem, negative self talk, negative self worth

Notes: Takes place an indeterminate amount of time after POF when Remus and Janus aren’t fully accepted, but not ostracized either. They don’t live with the Light Sides but they pop in on a regular basis. Patton cares about them and considers them vital parts of Thomas, but not really family yet. *italicized sections are flashbacks* My Masterpost will be updated to include this and the ao3 link when it’s posted

Summary: Love languages were hard. Patton wanted to be able to express himself in all of them so that no one in his famILY could doubt he loved them. He was loud and energetic and open and kind and tired. Patton was so tired.

Word Count: 4781

~

Patton loved the others, he really did. He made mistakes and he knew that, but he loved them so much and he tried so hard to make sure they knew that. He thought they did, but lately he was less sure. 

~

“Patton, please,” Logan sighed, cutting off yet another of Patton’s overly enthusiastic contributions. “Thomas has neither the time nor the money to adopt an animal. We have been over this before.”

Patton stiffened, his eyes widening slightly, his smile static on his face. “You’re right, Logan,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Silly me. I’m just gonna-” he pointed down and sank out of Thomas’s living room before anyone had a chance to protest. Well, that wasn’t totally true. He sank down before he had to hear them not protest and could pretend that he just missed it because he left too quickly. 

Patton rose up in his room with a sigh. Logan was right, as usual. Patton was wrong, as usual. He was okay with that. He liked hearing Logan explain things and he didn’t mind when Logan’s explanations proved him wrong. Seeing Logan excited to share was more than enough. Patton just wished- no. Logan was right and he was wrong and that was that. It didn’t matter how much of his opinion or idea he got to say because in the end, Logan was right. All that Patton finishing his thought would do was waste time when everyone knew who was going to win in the end.

“Patton?” Patton turned to his door where he could see the shadow of someone’s shoes. “Is everything alright?”

“Just fine!” Patton called through the door, fervently wiping at his eyes which had started to dampen without him noticing. “I’ll be down and making dinner in a few minutes, don’t you worry!”

“That is… not remotely why I’m concerned, Patton,” Logan said through the door. “May I come in?”

Patton blinked his eyes quickly a few more times. “Sure, kiddo!”

Logan eased the door open hesitantly. “You left rather abruptly. Are you certain nothing is bothering you?”

“Abso-positiv-a-yepper-yes-a-lutely!”

Logan blinked. “Was that crime against the English language intended to be a yes?”

Patton sighed, smiling weakly. “Sure was, kiddo. I just need a minute before coming to make dinner, alright?”

Logan frowned. “Of course that’s not a problem, Patton, but—”

“Then I’ll see you in a minute, Logan,” said Patton almost sharply, cutting him off. Instantly Patton’s eyes went wide and he slammed his hands over his mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Logan!” He cried, his voice muffled by his hands. “I shouldn’t have cut you off! I know you hate it when we don’t listen to you and we don’t listen enough! I don’t listen enough! I’m so sorry!” The words spilled out of Patton’s mouth like water from a faucet(or blood from an open wound) but he couldn’t stop them. 

Logan reached over and grabbed Patton’s hands, pulling them away from his mouth and holding them between the two. “Patton. It’s okay. Please don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in a few minutes?”

Patton nodded shakily and Logan took a step back. Patton forced himself to let go of Logan’s hands and let him step away. Patton was the one who asked him to leave in the first place. Now he had to live with that. Logan’s fingers trailed over his as their hands dropped back to their sides and Patton couldn’t stop the small choked noise that escaped him at the loss of contact. Logan either didn’t notice or thought preserving Patton’s dignity was important enough to pretend he didn’t. Patton’s hands twitched at his sides and he shoved them in his pockets to hide them. Logan didn’t want to hear Patton whine. Logan valued productivity and even Patton’s attempts to be productive weren’t good enough; Logan definitely didn’t want to hear him whine and complain about his feelings. Logan has better things to do. Logan cared about him, but he didn’t want to deal with emotions and that was okay. Patton didn’t want to be a burden. That was how he showed he cared. 

Patton blinked. He was alone. Logan was gone. Patton wondered when he’d left. He wondered if Logan had actually been there at all or if Patton had just imagined him in another pathetic fit of desperation. 

~

Logan knew Patton loved him and Logan loved Patton too. That was how Logan showed he cared. Patton asked him to leave and he did. It wasn’t Logan’s fault that he didn’t try to stay and comfort Patton because Patton didn’t need comfort. Patton had gone downstairs and made dinner that night and no one had ever thought about it again. Patton needed to stop dwelling. Of course his famILY knew he loved them, he told them all the time!

~

Patton had gone directly to Roman’s room after that awful video when Janus revealed his name. It was nice to not have to be afraid of Janus and Remus, but really it was Roman that Patton was concerned about. The others were vital parts of Thomas, but Roman was part of Patton’s tiny family. 

“Roman?” Patton called through the door. Roman’s door was almost never closed. He liked having the other sides free to come in and out of his room and his door to the Imagination, but now it was not only closed, it was locked. Patton hadn’t even known their doors could lock. Roman must have changed his specifically. “Roman, kiddo, please let me in! I’m sorry we hurt you! We love you so much! Please, Roman!”

It felt like an eternity passed before Roman opened the door. He wasn’t wearing his usual regal attire, but was dressed in a large and ill-fitting tee-shirt and baggy sweatpants. His hair was a mess as if he’d been grabbing at it and his eyes were red and wet.

“Come in, Patton,” he sighed, stepping aside so that Patton could walk into his room. It was a mess. His posters were torn down and his usual outfit in a pile on the floor. Roman’s desk doubled as a vanity and it was disturbingly bare. Everything that had been on it, finished products that he displayed with pride, his unfinished work, his hair products, his face products, his makeup, had been shoved into a trash can or onto the floor. The mirror on it was shattered. Patton whipped around to look at Roman when he noticed a spot of red on the cracks of the mirror.

“Show me your hands,” Patton demanded. Sure enough, Roman was hiding his hands behind his back. Patton took a steadying breath and sat down at the foot of Roman’s bed. “Sit with me?” he asked, a little softer. Roman did, still keeping his hands folded to Patton couldn't see his knuckles. “Show me your hands.” Patton reached out his own hands and waited. After a moment, Roman reached over and put his hands in Patton’s. Patton gasped softly at the forming bruises on his knuckles and the spider web of cuts on his fingers. 

“Hey, Roman?” Patton asked shakily. “Can you conjure me some bandages and antiseptic? You’re so much better at conjuring than me.” Roman didn’t even blink at the compliment, but a roll of clean bandages and an unlabeled bottle that Patton assumed was antiseptic appeared between them. 

Patton used one hand to twist open the bottle, not wanting to let go of Roman altogether. As he cleaned and wrapped Roman’s hands, he started to talk softly. “Please don’t hurt yourself, kiddo. I hate seeing you hurt. I just don’t know what we’d do without you, Ro.” Roman didn’t respond, just staring at Patton’s hands, not even flinching as Patton cleaned his cuts and pulled out bits of broken glass, so Patton just kept talking, murmuring any reassurances and promises he could think of. “You’re so amazing that sometimes we don’t even notice how wonderful you are until you remind us. You’re our constant. We love you.” Patton pressed a kiss to Roman’s hands every time he said they loved him. It meant that he took a lot longer to clean off Roman’s hands than he would have otherwise, but it was worth it. “I love you. I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of all you do, but I’m just proud of you. I’m glad and I’m proud that I get to know you. It really is going to be okay, kiddo. I know it’s hard and sometimes things are hard, but I promise you: it will be okay.”

Eventually, Roman’s hands were clean and wrapped. “Thank you, Pat,” he whispered, managing a weak smile. “I know.”

“Do you?”

Roman shrugged. “I think I will?” he offered. “I think I’m going to go to bed early.”

Patton swallowed heavily and nodded. “Okay, kiddo. Do you want me to stay?” Part of Patton, oh who was he kidding? All of Patton really wanted Roman to say yes. Patton always wanted to comfort his family, but it wasn’t just Roman who’d had a really hard day. Patton didn’t want to ask one of the others to take care of him, that wasn’t fair to them after everything he’d done and been doing, but if Roman would let him stay and hold him then maybe Patton could pretend that he was being held too. Even if everything was wrong and Patton was wrong, maybe Patton could convince himself that he was still wanted.

“I think I’m good, Pop,” Roman replied and Patton’s chest was so tight. “You don’t have to stay.”

“I really don’t mind staying-”

“I’m going to be okay, Patton. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Roman said in a way that was probably meant to be reassuring. Patton considered protesting again, but he didn’t want Roman to feel like he had to let Patton stay.

“Alright, slugger, if you’re sure,” Patton said, not looking at Roman. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Patton didn’t bother walking to the door, preferring to sink out. It was faster and easier and he didn’t have to admit that Roman really wanted him gone. He could pretend that he actually did hear Roman call, “Wait, Pat!” as he rose up in his own empty room.

Patton curled up on his bed, not bothering to change his clothes. He pulled a pillow close to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, pretending it was Roman or Logan or Virgil, pretending that it was someone who actually wanted him to hug them. 

He thought about that time Thomas had asked them all to say they loved each other. He’d gushed about how much he loved them like he always did because it was true. He loved them so much it hurt and at the time he’d brushed off how unwilling the others were to say it back as their discomfort at saying it on camera, but maybe it wasn’t. He’d mostly talked over Logan, but if he remembered right, Logan had barely managed to say their existence was good and even then it sounded like a lie. He was more willing to lie back then. Roman only said it after Patton scolded him. Virgil had actually come the closest to actually saying it back by asking if it could be an understood thing, but when Patton pointed that out he’d denied it. Maybe Patton pushed too much. Maybe he should act more like Logan, more professional, and treat the others like coworkers or friends instead of family to make them feel more comfortable. Patton imagined living like that. He almost threw up. He loved them with every part of himself and to pretend he didn’t would be denying his heart. The heart couldn’t deny his heart. He barely managed to keep from showing his bad emotions all the time as it was. He had to burden them with something and he’d rather burden them with his love than with his sadness.

~

It was okay. Patton was okay. He knew how bad repression could be now, they’d shown him that. It was bad for Thomas to not feel and engage with his feelings and he would never want to hurt Thomas! He laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He’d put glow stars up there when they were kids. Logan and Roman put glow stars up in their rooms too. They’d done it together when they were...eight? 

When they were ten, Logan started learning about the stars and how they weren’t random at all. He’d gushed for weeks about how amazing the real pattern of the sky was. He still would if anyone asked. No one ever did. Logan took the stars down two weeks after their tenth birthday.

When they were twelve Roman decided he wanted to paint a mural. He planned it for months and it was beautiful. Patton couldn’t begrudge him that. Roman took the stars down a week before they turned thirteen.

Now they were in their thirties and Patton still couldn’t bring himself to take down the stars. They were his stars. They represented the bond between him and Logan and Roman. He loved Virgil and he was part of Patton’s famILY, but it was Logan and Roman that Patton had never learned how to live without. When Patton was sure of himself and their bond, they glowed so bright that he couldn’t sleep without covering his face. 

Patton looked up at the dull pieces of plastic on his ceiling and tried not to cry.

~

When Virgil told Patton that he didn’t like the way Patton talked about him it felt like a kick in the face. All Patton wanted to do was show how much he loved Virgil and the other sides, but all he managed to do was hurt them. No matter how hard he tried, he always seemed to get it wrong. They knew he was trying though and Patton was pretty sure that counted for something. 

A few weeks after Patton started fixing the way he showed Virgil he loved him they were all eating breakfast and Patton was starkly reminded of just how much he needed to fix. 

Virgil was usually the last one of them to make his way downstairs in the morning unless Logan or Roman had been up all night working on a project. Hearing the tell-tale signs of his angsty son, Patton spun around with a bright grin on his face to greet him.

“Morning, kidd-” he caught himself. “Virgil! Morning, Virgil!” Patton didn’t let the smile fall from his face, but Virgil’s flinch at his greeting made him want to. Where he had been relaxed before Patton said anything, Virgil was stiff and awkward. He stumbled over to the table with Logan and Roman.

“Morning, Patton,” he mumbled as he passed by. “Morning, L. Morning, Princey,” he said as he leaned on the back of a chair, perking up noticeably. Patton swallowed heavily and went about his morning.

He made small talk with the other three as he finished up breakfast and they all prepared their plates. He smiled and laughed along with Roman’s stories and nodded along to Logan’s explanations and interjections. He didn’t say much of substance. Virgil didn’t say much at all. Eventually he sat down with the others and pretended he didn’t feel like he was walking through a minefield. He wanted to show his love in ways they appreciated, of course he did. They were just so vague about what they wanted and it was so hard.

...

“That sounds fun, Logan!”

Logan scoffed. “Really, Patton? I am not suggesting it for amusement. It is the most productive and therefore logical course of action.”

“Right.”

…

“Oh wow! That’s great, Roman!”

Roman rolled his eyes. “I appreciate the compliment, Pat, but it’s nowhere near finished. The completed project will be nothing like what I’ve described.”

“Right, yeah.”

…

“That’s so sweet of you, Virgil!”

“I’m not sweet.”

“No, of course not.”

…

“Did you have good dreams last night, kiddo?”

“Yeah, I slept fine, Pat.”

“Okay.”

…

“Thanks, little shadow!”

“Seriously, Pops?”

“Just joking, Virge.”

…

“And Logan’s just smart.”

“And what about me?”

“Well, you’re - you’re… Patton!”

“Oh, I- Aww, thanks, Roman!”

… 

“I’ll clean up, kiddos. Don’t worry about it!”

…

Then Patton was alone. He didn’t mind being alone so much. When he was alone he could play out elaborate scenarios in his head and not worry about how the others would react. He could pretend they were all waiting for him and that they would tell him nice things and hug him. He could pretend a lot of things when he was alone.

Patton did the dishes.

~

It was fine. He was fine. Everything was fine. He was a good person. Patton didn’t say nice things so that he would hear nice things back. He said nice things because he believed them and he loved the people he said them about. He was a good person.

Who was he kidding? Patton was a terrible person. He only pretended to be nice so that he could be complimented and when it didn’t work he was resentful. He was an awful, terrible, bad person who didn’t deserve all the nice things he had. He was a bad person. He was!

“Well, this certainly isn’t concerning.”

Patton sat up like a shot at the sound of someone in his room. Janus was standing in his doorway that hadn’t been open a minute ago. He looked like he was trying really hard not to fidget.

“Can I come in?” Janus asked tentatively. Patton nodded and Janus stepped into his room, closing the door behind him. He walked over hesitantly, but sat down on the bed by Patton when Patton gestured for him to.

“Is there something I can help you with, Janus?” Patton asked, trying to pretend that Janus hadn’t walked in on him crying.

“You can tell me why you’re lying to yourself.”

Patton stiffened. “Right. I was doing that. It’s okay, I stopped now.”

Janus raised his eyebrows. “You stopped telling yourself that you’re a bad person who only pretends to be nice?” he asked. “Because from what I could tell, you still were while I was standing at your door.”

Patton scowled. “That’s not the lie and you know it.”

Janus sighed heavily. “No, Patton. I don’t know that. Even when I couldn’t stand you, I didn’t think that you were faking being nice. I think being a good person is subjective, but there is absolutely no argument that you are not nice. There is no argument that you are not selfless and loving. I can absolutely argue with you over if those are good things, but they are true.”

“I don’t think I believe you,” Patton whispered.

Janus winced. “You really think I’d lie about something like this?”

“Maybe.” Patton shrugged. “I believe you believe it,” he offered.

“Look, Patton, we’ve never been close. Talk to the others. Let them tell you if you won’t hear it from me. You tell them you love them all the time. It’s high time they made you know too.”

“No!” Patton yelped before he could stop himself. “I mean, you know I can’t do that. I can’t turn my love into an obligation for them. I’m burdening them enough by loving them the way I do and not asking for anything back. I can’t put that on them.”

“What are you talking about? They already love you.”

Patton sighed. “Janus, I’m Morality. What’s the Golden Rule of morality that we all learned as kids?”

“Treat others the way you want to be treated,” Janus responded without thinking. “Oh.”

Patton breathed out a soft laugh. “Yeah.” He tipped his head back to look at the ceiling again. “Either I go against the simplest part of Morality and keep letting myself get hurt or I go against the part of Morality that I can’t let go of and hurt them for my sake.”

“I don’t think you’d be hurting them. I think they don’t realise. I think they’d be a lot more hurt if they knew you thought so little of them that you’d let yourself be hurt so as not to inconvenience them.”

“That’s a nice thought.”

“Dammit, Patton,” Janus growled. “Tell them or I will.”

Patton just kept looking at his stars.

“I can make you tell them,” Janus admitted, slightly choked up. “I can make you tell the truth as easily as I can make you hide it.”

“I don’t think I could forgive you for that.”

“Then don’t make me do it.”

~

Janus had left after that. Disappearing just like Virgil used to. Patton stared at his ceiling for a while longer. Janus thought he was a good person. Well, Janus thought that Patton was Patton’s definition of a good person. Maybe talking to his famILY would be good. Maybe it wouldn’t. 

Patton paused as an idea came to him. He wouldn’t tell them. He wouldn’t seek them out. But… maybe next time they asked, he wouldn’t lie.

~

A week went by and nothing changed. Patton kept smiling and sometimes it wasn’t even forced. Roman told his stories and Logan pretended he didn’t love them. Virgil complained about everything, but in a way that sounded more like he was complimenting them. Logan shared his ideas and Patton made sure everyone listened. Sure maybe some of it was Patton’s guilt for skipping Logan in that one video, but most of it was just that Patton believed all his kiddos deserved to be heard. Janus popped in from time to time and gave Patton pointed looks. Remus barreled in every so often and dragged them all off on an adventure that they ended up enjoying more than they thought they would. A week went by and nothing changed.

They were at dinner. It seemed that dinner was the only time the four of them all talked anymore. It was always some grouping of them the rest of the time. Dinner was going...badly. From Patton’s perspective at least.

Roman had been flippant and dismissive of Patton’s attempts to compliment him. Virgil had been getting increasingly frustrated with every word out of Patton’s mouth. The more the two of them carelessly shut him down, the more outlandish his comments started to become just so they’d look at him for a few moments. Logan didn’t like outlandish comments. Logan started snapping at him when Patton would speak up. Patton stopped talking.

The other three continued their conversation for about an hour. Patton didn’t say a word. He didn’t eat either. No one noticed either.

“Pat, what do you think?” Virgil asked, turning to Patton. “Pat?”

Patton stiffened. He shook his head frantically, not trusting himself with an open mouth.

“Patton?” Logan asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft. “What’s wrong?” 

“I love you all so much,” Patton choked out. “I love you all so much it hurts and I keep hurting you with it and I’m so sorry! I know that’s not good enough, but I can’t stop!”

“Patton, no,” Logan breathed. “Patton, you are not hurting us.”

“I am,” Patton insisted. “I try to listen to you but I never understand and I just end up being a distraction. I can never tell Roman how much I love him in a way that sounds true. I keep telling Virgil I care the wrong way. You know all this, Logan. You know it’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter, Pat,” Virgil snapped. “I care more that you’re trying than if you’re succeeding.”

“That’s not even the worst part,” Patton whispered. “Nevermind,” he said quickly, cutting himself off.

“Pat, please,” Roman choked on his words. “Please talk to us.”

“I want to be told you love me too,” Patton said so softly they barely heard it. “You don’t have to,” he promised. “But sometimes I like to be- never mind.”

“Complimented?” Virgil guessed. “Like you always do for us?” Patton nodded.

“Hugged?” Roman added hesitantly. Patton didn’t look at him, but he nodded.

“Listened to,” Logan finished. Patton stared at the table, but he managed to nod.

“I’m so-”

Virgil cut him off with a hesitant grin. “If you apologize again, I’m going to physically fight you. If you keep talking bad about yourself, I’m going to physically fight you.”

Patton laughed. “Please don’t fight me.” He frowned, his eyes drifting back down to the table. “I know you don’t like it when I call you sweet and I’m trying not to anymore, but I…”

“But it’s hard?” Virgil guessed. “I know. I really appreciate what you’ve done and I-”

“Not what I was going to say, Virgil,” Patton said softly. “Respecting your boundaries is never going to be too much of an effort. I was just going to say where my boundaries are.” Patton took a deep breath and held it. “I like it? I like it when you all call me sweet.” he huffed a laugh. “That’s kind of what I’m trying for.”

Patton looked over at Roman with a smile. “You said I was the ‘sweetest puffball we got’ and I don’t know how you meant it, but I really liked that.”

Patton turned his now-blinding smile on Logan. “You called me adorable and to be honest, Lo? It was adorable.”

“You remember what we said?” Logan asked abruptly.

Patton’s smile widened. “Of course I do! I wrote them all down so I couldn’t forget. Those two are at the top of my Logan and Roman lists. Pop-star’s at the top of my Virgil list.”

“I am going to come up with so many names that you’re going to need to start a whole notebook just to keep up with my list.” Roman’s gaze was steely and he looked almost threatening. “I am going to hug you so much that you’ll be sick of me.”

Patton was going to burst. “I’ll never be sick of you!” he cooed.

“I will make a more visible and concentrated effort to listen to your contributions,” Logan promised. “I can’t promise that we will always agree, but I can promise that I will listen and hear you.”

Patton’s eyes were soft as he looked at Logan. “I’m okay with being wrong, Logan. I just want you to hear me.”

“I do hear you Patton. I’m sorry I don’t do it often enough.”

“Oh, Logan, no!” Patton looked at Logan in horror. “It’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry.”

Logan sighed fondly. “If you want to forgive me then that is up to you, but it’s not okay and I do have reason to apologize.”

“As do I,” Roman added. “I have been taking your affection for granted. I will not continue.”

“So do I,” Virgil mumbled. “I’m not sorry for setting boundaries because you’ve taught me that that’s okay, but I am sorry for brushing you off and not showing you that I care about you and appreciate you.”

“Thank you,” Patton said wetly.

Logan took a breath. “This is difficult for me and I apologize if it sounds insincere. I love you, Patton. You don’t always make my job easier, which can be frustrating, but you make it enjoyable.”

“Thank you, Lo.” Patton’s damp eyes started to drip. “Happy tears,” he clarified at the others’ looks of concern. “You don’t have to-”

Logan cut off any protest that Patton could make. “You’re worth it.”

“You make us a family, Pat,” Roman declared. “You are what makes us more than the sum of our parts.”

Patton was full on sobbing now.

Virgil stood up from his seat. He let his arms fall open at his sides. “Come here.” 

Patton dove into Virgil’s arms, his wet face soaking through his hoodie in a matter of minutes. Roman instantly sprang from his seat to wrap himself around Patton’s back and pull the other two into his arms. Roman was warm and his grip was steady and Patton felt like he could take on the world if he did it while he was in Roman’s arms.

Logan stood awkwardly and made his way over to them, standing about a foot away from Patton’s side.

“Logan, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Patton called, his voice muffled by Virgil’s hoodie.

“I know I just agreed to start listening to you more, but I believe I can be forgiven in this one circumstance.” Logan stepped forward wrapping his arms around Patton and resting his chin in Patton’s hair. “Shut your ever-flapping gobtalker.”

Virgil snorted which caused Roman to laugh. Logan simply smiled and held them tighter as Patton’s giggles rang out above them all.

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