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softbutchthatlovesyou · 4 months

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This might sound defensive but if you're attracted to a 100% binary trans man as a woman then that's straight regardless of what you say, because trans men are men full stop, maybe it's unintentional for you but there's a lot of trans men aren't really men or are women-lite shit going around, reanalyze yourself and your transphobia because that's straight up awful shit and I'm so sick of seeing this being spread around it's fucking conversion therapy shit disguised as something positive reanalyze why you want trans men to be with lesbians so badly when lesbians traditionally mean and is understood by wide society to be women liking women, like actually sit and think about that, maybe it's hard to admit that it's offense but good fucking god

You seem to be under the assumption that I am forcing the tran men who identify as Lesbians to be not fully men or women lite and you are very wrong?? I do not see a trans man as any less of a man for being a Lesbian. He is a Man and A Lesbian. They are both true. They are not conflicting labels just because of societies perceptions of a word that was forcefully adjusted after Lesbian separatism.

Yow however are the one assigning those people a sexuality based on how you see their relationships. Is a woman supposed to break up or change her entire sexuality because her partner came out and she didn't stop being attracted to him? What if she still primarily dates women after they breakup for unrelated reasons? Does she earn being a Lesbian back? Or maybe consider how many trans men are butches in the community who are Men and Lesbians and their femmes love them and are no less lesbian to any of their peers. What about those who are firmly Trans men and Trans Women at the same time? Do they stop being a lesbian on "Man days"? Do they earn it back on women days? You know, to make sure on "man days" they aren't viewed as Womenlite for being a lesbian by their own choice. Where's the line anon?

It sounds defensive because it is. You are not reading a word I've said about any of this and are shoving shit I don't believe into my inbox under the guise that you think I condone any of what the fuck you iust said.

I am a man and spend half my time fighting to be seen properly as one against transphobic Lesbians who insist I have to be a Girl Butch otherwise they have the right to dictate who I can date. I fucking know more than enough about people who want to change my gender to fit their transphobic views. I spend an entire portion of my blog fighting about transmasculine rights if you bothered to look around before you sent this accusatory ask.

Some Trans Men are Lesbians because THEY WANT TO BE. When I talk about Lesbian Trans Men I am talking about ME and THEM. If you cannot understand that then you are not having the same conversation as me.

Also the fucking Lesbiphobia of revoking someones right to be a Lesbian because you don't see it that way is disgusting. Who the fuck are you to think it's okay to tell somone they aren't who they say they are? we got a council that can kick us out of our little clubs since that's how you wanna treat these identities?

#this makes me nauseous to read #to tell me i see any of my fellow trans men not as men because i respect the ones who are lesbians????#and to think YOU have the right to tell them how they can identify??#transandrophobia #Lesbiphobia #im so fucking tired read what i said or just dont bother to send an ask #gideons talking time #inbox #anon #arlright i guess i need a discourse tag now if yall are gonna be clowns #ill block anything malicious #but im not letting blatant misinformation about what i said go around #so uh #Fungus.txt

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yeonban · 18 days

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBIAS! (24.05)

@effigist asked: / Tobias bday festivities ! this got long . my bad bestie

ash lingers in dark shadows cast down from the buildings surrounding the big celebration’s location , vigilantly observing from outside rather than daring to step in . he heard about tobias’ birthday a few days prior from some of his blabbermouth men who had timidly asked their leader if they could attend the big party dedicated to no other than the sharpest thorn in ash’s side . he responded with a dismissive scowl , grumbling something like do whatever the hell you want , while doing his best to seem as disinterested as possible . last thing he wanted was for the men to think he would be attending that hellish celebration - god , no , he’d rather get himself thrown in the slammer just to avoid it . in great contrast to his apparent dislike for the celebration , he nonetheless loitered outside for a good hour after showing up towards the end of the celebration , remaining out of sight until groups of people filed out from the doors &. ash concluded it was finally coming to its rightful end . about time . only when the detested birthday boy enters his line of sight , does the lurking predator step out from the shadows . though , instead of attacking or otherwise antagonizing tobias , he merely walks with an air of leisure &. casualty a teenaged gang leader had absolutely no business maintaining , before stopping at the dark haired teen’s side .

❝ you tired of gettin’ pampered like a snobby princess , yet ? ❞ a playful smirk tugs at the blonde’s lips , implying he must be in a decent mood . gingerly , his arm lifts &. stretches over tobias’ shoulder , although no contact is made . he merely keeps his limb hovering just above the point of contact , but close enough to where any bystander from a distance would be fooled . swiftly , ash’s nimble fingers drop a little plastic card into the other’s chest pocket . It’s a library card . ash is more than aware that the man could easily access any book of his choosing with his status , connections , money , &. influence , but he paid it no mind . once the sneaky exchange is completed , his arm lowers , but not before giving a slightly - too - hard - to - be - considered - a - pat smack into the back of tobias’ shoulder . ❝ better be careful around my guys until the clock strikes midnight , cinderella . they’ll give a loser like you a beatin’ for every year you’ve been alive . ❞ they won’t .

The birthday boy is one of the last to exit the building, animatedly chatting up the few who have chosen to continue their conversations with him even after the party has ended, and it's only when they're stepping down the outer stairs and the teen can feel a distant gaze intently focused on him that he steadily shepherds the guests towards the end of the conversation, shaking their hands and waving them goodbye before glancing in the direction of the gaze. Whatever he may have expected it to be caused by --- an ambush on his birthday or an informant returning to report their findings; the sight of Ash Lynx willingly approaching him had certainly not been it.

Tobias' expression doesn't change much, yet the surprise is apparent enough if one knows where to look for it. It hides in the sudden blink and the lingering stare as the blond threads closer, it crawls in the unspoken but palpable question of what's going on and in the quick yet subdued glance behind Ash as if to check whether the blond has either been coerced into it or sought him out with an urgent purpose in mind. Grey eyes return to look into the jade pair and yet none of these possibilities seem to have quite hit the mark. Ash's smirk isn't gloomily sarcastic nor does his body language speak of anxieties or woes, and there is nothing whatsoever to indicate that he's come here in a hurry. If anything, he appears to have either been on a stroll to this location, or been hiding nearby for a while.

Tentatively testing the waters, Tobias' lips curl into a matching grin, carefully watching each of the gang leader's movements. ❛ Ash? You could've told me you were dropping by, you know. I'd have ditched the others way earlier if I'd known you're around. ❜ The subsequent close proximity is as shocking as the other's presence near the celebration's location and Tobias almost opts to jokingly remark on it when the corners of his eyes catch a glimpse of a thin card delicately sliding into his chest pocket. Hm...? ❛ What, you got me a gift, too? ❜ This may have counted as a teasing comment had the exchange taken place on another day and for the first few seconds Tobias even means it as such, but with Ash's jesting and the deliberate secrecy surrounding the gift-giving, as if this display of cordiality has the potential to be ruinous to the blond's image, Tobias can't help but reach into his pocket and bring the alleged present into his field of vision. A gift? Really?

He doesn't bother inquiring from where Ash has learned of his birthday, he'd expected as much with anyone worth their damn being able to find out about it one way or the other, but the sequence of events following that has barely been considered a priori, imagined as unlikely from the get go and thus unworthy of being thought about; yet it appears his calculations have, shockingly enough, been slightly off the mark. He'd figured Ash would accept hanging out with him if he approached the blond after the fussy festivities were wrapped up (if begrudgingly so), but had he misjudged how challenging it would be for them to reach this point of vague friendship, back during their first few meetings? Or had Ash just coincidentally felt generous on this occasion?

The library card that graces his eyes once he fishes the present out of his pocket might seem as nothing much to most in his position, but Tobias grows troublingly quiet at the sight, the grin on his face slowly dissipating into a thin line; neither annoyed, nor upset --- but rather, cognizant. Under normal circumstances it would take nothing more than a name and an address for such a plastic card to be issued, and it could very well pass as a friendly insult, jokingly implying the receiver should open a book for once, but in their situation it's a calculated effort, and quite an effort he's sure it has been. False identities such as his own come bearing little documentation, or if there is any available it certainly wouldn't be at everyone's discretion, so the existence of a library card with Tobias' name on it hints at a far grander and more complicated process than the regular person would give it credit for, and it seems the blond has deemed him worth the trouble, despite the older teen having indirectly offered Ash a way out of the mandatory gift-giving by not inviting him to the celebration.

Yet perhaps even more baffling still is another minor detail, something so subtle that it would have passed entirely unnoticed had it been anyone but Tobias attempting to grasp its meaning, or had he not been as attentive to Ash's lifestyle and habits as he chose to be. A detail he is more than certain represents a major step in their relationship, and one which signifies a degree of trust (whether conscious or subconscious) that he hasn't been expecting to receive for at least another year of incessantly bothering the blond. Being offered access to Ash's last safe haven, by the gang leader himself.

The silence continues while Tobias stares at the gift in muted incredulity, unsure of how exactly to react to any of the rapid fire surprises this simple choice of presents has flooded him with. Is it a code for something? No, Ash seems to be having a good day, there is probably no reason for him to ask Tobias to meet him at the library for a secret conversation. If so, is he going to request or demand something? No, also unlikely given the ease with which Tobias already offers him everything. There'd be no point in going the extra mile for something he could receive for free while doing nothing.

Is Ash really just reaching out to him of his own volition? That almost seems more doubtful than the previous possibilities, but unless the younger teen is a greater actor than all of the ones Tobias has met... he doesn't seem to be the sort to harbor ulterior motives or take advantage of others without first being given a reason to; and the orphan would like to think he hasn't done anything egregious enough to the gang leader or his men to warrant that. Ash's honesty is one of the traits he values about the other, after all (quite the rarity in their field of work, for better or worse) and what a shame it would be for him to senselessly lose the privilege of knowing for a fact that Ash's words and behaviors are always connected to the definitive truth.

Although there is an ongoing dispute in his mind, Ash's remark doesn't pass by unnoticed; bringing a familiar tint of amusement in the otherwise uncertain state of affairs. Paired with the quizzical gift in hand, it brings the smirk back onto Tobias' face, if a tad more hesitant than it had been before, and it prompts him to turn to look at the other again. How should he react now? Where do they stand, if not where he'd thought they did? Should he wait and see, or should he outright ask? ❛ ......Then, prince charming, how about you act as my bodyguard 'til I'm safe from harm and ready to depart? Midnight is still a long way off, but surely your macho men won't think to lift a finger on someone as frail as me with you around to keep them at bay, ❜ Perhaps slowly prodding is the way to go, if he's learned anything from Ash's lethal allergies to appearing vulnerable. He'll always have the time to ask later, if the moment is ever opportune enough, and maybe there won't even be a need for that after observing Ash's behavior for a while longer.

Lifting his free arm, Tobias leisurely brings it 'round the lynx's shoulders as the other had done to him prior, except he lets his arm come into contact with Ash's shoulders while slowly poking him with the library card present in the other hand. It's a blithe touch, one blatantly meant for gauging where he stands with the other rather than an attempt at rudely breaking into his personal space, and one he had been very careful not to engage in prior to this day despite physical contact being the brunette's go-to when interacting with practically everyone else.

However... with all of the surprises already sent his way, and particularly so with the confounding (albeit indirect) openness Ash has showed him today, it might as well be the best moment to check what boundaries he's currently kept at, and figure things out from there. Will he be shrugged or pushed off as he'd previously figured it'd happen, or will Ash allow him this sort of friendly touch, and surprise him for a fourth time? ❛ And while you're at it, how about you show me to the library, too? I could use some new book recommendations. Who knows, maybe you'll even find that I'm a pretty good reading buddy to have. ❜ The request can easily pass as a debonair way of bringing Ash along for the ride, but with the lengths Tobias has gone to not encroach into the library for as long as it had been Ash's turf, the assistance with maneuvering inside the humongous building might actually be helpful.

#◜✧ . ❪ muse. tobias. ❫#◜✧ . ❪ tobias ; ic. ❫#effigist #I'm gonna jump and do a flip atp HOWWWWWWWWWWWW DID THIS GET SO LONG. HOW.#CRYING at Tobias being ?? tho. Ash truly deserves an award for making him feel this confused. Honored too but moreso confounded as HELL!#It's actually even MORE comical if he later goes and tells Elijah about this bc to Elijah all this would be like a madman's ramblings.#Like what do you mean you're exe needs to reboot about having received a LIBRARY CARD are you finally starting to lose it dude #Tobias; having learned from various sources (Ash's men) that Ash dislikes people bothering him in the library: No you don't understand #Elijah: Yeah no I really don't #AJDIUASDHSAUIDHSAHDSAJHFHSFSDJFDHD #Tobias has such a careful approach when it comes to Ash man... he interacts w him in a similar way to how he'd interact w a feral animal #NO to brusque movements. NO to encroaching in his space. NO to touching. YES to bothering him from a distance til he eventually warms up #But also Ash is SOSO sweet for this I adore him... Tobias genuinely would've never thought Ash would go out of his way to gift him smth #LET ALONE hand him an indirect invitation to frequent the library which is the only place Ash can ever get some safe alone time #^ the fact that Ash waited for an HOUR loitering around to give Tobias this gift is sending me too. KING JUST SEND A MESSAGEADSHADJSADJ #These two have such a complex dynamic AUGHHHHHH I'm living for it!!!!!!!!!!#TYSMMMMMM FOR SENDING A BDAY ASK BTW I'VE BEEN GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FOR THE PAST 4 DAYS ABOUT IT #I meant to reply to it on the day of but then irl decided it was time to improvise a way to distract me real quick (<-thru random uni work)

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