#this is how you get banger fanfic culture

[hiveswap]

Its only now dawning on me that 90% of the good omens fandom is ex-superwholock girlies who have just recieved their media equivalent of crack cocaine. It is like a drawn out watered down nov 5th in here and for a good reason

[cbk1000]

So what exactly is it about Merlin and Arthur that make them so ship-worthy, sparking million-word fanfics? Why does it remain one of the most popular fandoms? Why do you never seem to tire of them as a writer? (Not that I am complaining or anything. I just find the loyalty fascinating considering how much new stuff is coming out every day).

Bradley and Colin and their chemistry together as performers certainly is an important aspect of the popularity of that specific ship, but I think the endurance of the Merlin fandom as a whole is due primarily to two main things, which are: that tragic ending, and the unrealised potential of the show.

The primary consensus amongst Merlin fans if you ask them about a piece of media they're still obsessing over, twelve years after it ended, is, "BBC Merlin is terrible; it's so good." The premise and characters are interesting. There are some absolute banger lines. There are bits and pieces of it that are good. But as a whole, it's a muddled piece of trash (I still love you, BBC Merlin, don't worry). Uther is a tyrant who has committed literal genocide, and they make the main villain a woman who is a part of the oppressed class of people that he's indiscriminately murdering. Women in general get to be one of two things: love interest, or moustache-twirling villain. Arthur grows as a person only for the writing to immediately walk back that growth, usually for a cheap joke. The major narrative arcs, the most familiar, identifiable aspects of Arthurian legend in the cultural consciousness (Lancelot, the love triangle, the fall of Morgana, Mordred's betrayal, etc.) are either barely present (see: Lancelot's two seconds of screentime) or completely devoid of believable character motivation (see: Mordred suddenly turning on Arthur because he executes a woman who committed terrorism who it turns out was someone Mordred knew as a kid and completely forgot about till the moment he saw her in her jail cell).

When something is, in some ways, quite good, and in a lot of other ways, hot garbage, it leaves a wide-open sandbox for fans to play in. I think if the show were much more well-written, and consistently so, the fandom would have died out years ago. But instead, we never saw the Golden Age of Camelot. We never saw Albion united. We never saw Merlin and Arthur reunited. We were left, at the end, with one main character dead, and the other centuries later still waiting for a person the show literally describes as his other half to come back to him. People haven't moved on because they spent five seasons watching a silly, stupid family show to see its main character fail at what he was literally prophesied to achieve and hold his best friend while he died. We don't even know for sure in the end that Arthur came back to him. We see Merlin alone, in modern day, at the lake, still waiting for him, with no indication that Arthur is rising again. And for people watching the show as it aired, the BBC delivered this nut punch on Christmas Eve.

I think it's about what the show didn't do, and the space that creates for fans to come in and do it themselves, over and over again.

Also, personally, I'm trying to self-soothe.

[mochalottie]

hiiii lottie, this is not a question and i honestly have no idea where this is going, but there's too much things i need to say soooo let's start with a massive, gigantic THANK YOU! the way you managed to write chapters averaging +10k words each EVERY SINGLE WEEK for TWENTY. NINE. FUCKING. WEEKS!!! this is monumental work you did on your free time and i'll never be grateful enough for all the efforts you put in it.

there is something about the way you write, idk if it's about your descriptions or the way you handle your characters and their voices, but i think i'm simply in love with your style! i had read all your avatar works before ftnadol, and i'm so glad i was able to read this one since the first chapter. the journey has been one of a kind, a wild ride unlike any other, and to tell you how deeply invested i became, just know i usually rarely take time to comment on fanfics. shame on me i know, but i'm too shy and never know what to say but idk what happened with this fic, i guess it broke something in me. it took me three chapters to leave the tiniest comment and then i was writing whole-ass essays???? i don't even know myself how that happened but goood, i think i needed to somehow process all the thoughts and feelings and emotions your writing gave me. and now it's so much easier to leave comments on other fics and it provides me so much joy and pleasure to know that writers know how much i enjoy and care for their works, so i guess i must thank you for that as well 💖

i think i told you already but your little story became a whole part of my routine, i had my monday night ritual reading the new chapter, screaming in my pillow and then again in your comments. i was looking forward to come back to this universe every week, thinking about those characters at random times throughout the week, wondering what would happen to them next and coming up with my own little theories. they were not always correct (malachy socorro, you will alway be remembered </3) but this kept reminding me the power held by fanfiction, stories, and art as a whole. i cannot fathom how some people manage to live their lives without being deeply involved in fandoms and engaging with cultural medias, and i'm so sorry they'll never get to experience the sorrows and joys it provides!

now that's been said, back to ftnadol! where to even begin? the whole concept of this alternative universe is a banger sort of idea! i mean, sorry, but eywa-blessed spider in a world where every single human was sent back to earth?!?!?! goooosh it feels just like yesterday that jake was finding baby spider in hell's gate, and look where we are now! so much has happened, those characters went to hell and back, and most essentially they've grown so so much!! baby spider and baby neteyam growing up as brothers since day one was not something i thought i needed, but you've crafted such a wonderful relationship, you wrote such a beautiful take on brotherhood and love and acceptance. i shed so many tears on this fic and just to think of their bond is making me emotional again.

every character was written so amazingly well: jake with all his humanity and stubborness, neytiri so fierce and caring, mo'at is an absolute icon, even the way you explored quaritch. his character is so complex, a much crueler version of him whose end was very satisfying. the whole expansion you made on na'vi culture and the connection between clans. tsireya, ao'nung, rotxo, even tonowari and ronal, they were not featured much but you managed to bring something fresh and new to them, fitting the twists of this story. i could say the same with tuk and kiri, i wish we'd had more of them but every time they were in a scene, they were an absolute delight and i can't wait to have more of them in the sequel. lo'ak, gosh i could say so many things about him, he is the character who touched me the most in atwow and every little additions you made to his character made me love him a little more. since spider is his big bro and not just his best friend, it changes so many things about his character. you gave us a much more mature version of him and i'm so proud of the journey he went through. now one of the biggest surprises i would say is neteyam! he didn't particularly stuck with me in canon, surely because his character is less present than the other kids and jc made a totally unnecessary decision that destroyed me. but fanon made me change my mind, and this fic played a big part in it. again it's so hard to speak of this neteyam without bringing up spider, and to see his character so impacted by the loss of his brother, with so much anger and frustration and sadness and hurt, god it was so devastating and heartbreaking. which leads us to the one and only spider!!!! our little guy, who's been through so much and yet remains that sweet kid who manages to see the goodness in people. he wormed his way in people's hearts, got a loving family and caring friends, and was ready to do everything in his power to protect them. he cares so much for his people and for his world, and life has been so hard on him but he proved everyone he deserved to be here and he's worthy!

honourary mention for the way you depicted the na'vi relationship with animals. payakan, the discovery of tsuraks and ilus, THE IKRANS. but most important of them all, my guy GUY <333 i miss him so much, and his bond with spider was the most wholesome thing. they were not able to communicate like others can and yet we saw how the trust between them grew through care to become this beautiful companionship. my life will not be complete until i see them reuniting and be one again

and last but no least, malachy! don't worry i didn't forget about him—how could i? this is just another proof of how good your writing is; you made me care so much about some original character whose foundations had everything to make me hate him. but you gave him an insane backstory, compassion and mercy, a brain, and this exceptional change of heart. i remember you wondering if we were interested in reading from his pov, and already then i wanted a more nuanced stance within the rda. you gave us everything i wanted and more with this character. he went through his own fulfilling journey and i know there's still so much more to learn about him, and he still have so much to learn from pandora, and i'm so glad he made it out alive thus far!

another massive thank you for you, lottie. i wish i could reach through my screen and give you a hug for everything you gave us with this story. your talent is boundless, you made these characters feel so real and i couldn't be happier that you decided to write this sequel because i don't want this story to end just yet. i'm not ready to say goodbye to them so i'm very excited to see where this next ride will take us <333333

Babes, bestie THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR AMAZING COMMENTS!

I'm stunned my work got you to come out of your commenting shell because your essays were literally one of the comments I looked forward to each chapter. And that you have a routine stop you're gonna make me sob-- TT_TT

I literally don't know what I can say that will say thank you for your words and love for this story so just please take my love and hugs and everything else babes.

And thank you for loving Malachy!! I'm glad he's been accepted by readers because it was a bit nerve wracking to create a character like his.

Thank you my love, one hundred times thank you

<333

[msviolacea]

What with the D&D/WotC OGL fiasco going on right now (google it, I don’t have the inclination to look up a link to something explicable at the moment), I’ve been thinking a lot about the pros and cons of other TTRPG systems, and what might appeal to gamers with different priorities. It’s a hard topic, because there are several reasons why D&D has been the cultural juggernaut it is. Longevity and advertising go a long way, yes, but in the 5E era, one of the things that has influenced a lot of people in my circles to try it is the particular combination of solid direction/format and freedom of imagination. 

It feels a bit like fanfic - it gives us a “canon” to start with, where “canon” is a system of rules, parameters for characters, even stories, if you go with pre-written adventures. You just have to plug your own ideas into it and go from there. D&D makes it easy to start and continue the game, as long as you’re willing to put in the time to understand the rules. And the proliferation of Actual Plays (and other cultural touchstones) has made it that much easier to learn the rules in advance. 

The issue, I think, is finding another system that will give players approximately the same combination of freedom and structure, and can be demonstrated to be flexible enough to tell a wide variety of stories. 

I am a super fan of Powered By the Apocalypse systems, but one of the problems I have with running them is that there aren’t a whole lot of pre-written adventure paths. This makes them somewhat unwelcoming to people who are not used to making up their own stories - there’s some direction in the source books, yes, but they don’t have the same resources as D&D for inspiration and structure - no monster manuals, no pre-written adventures. Once you get into playing a PbtA game, I find the storytelling options to be infinitely more flexible, but for a GM, creating the story beats and enemies from scratch can be incredibly daunting. 

(City of Mist, which is kind of a combination of PbtA and FATE systems, makes it slightly easier with a very solidly built world/city to play in, and lots of adventure hooks within that city. But it’s still a little hard to wrap your brain around sometimes, and leans heavily into the noir flavors. I mean, unless you’re our group of weirdos, but that’s a different story entirely.)

Pathfinder exists on the other end of the spectrum; they’re the one system I know of that has a similar amount of structure to D&D, but from my past experience with their first edition, the rules are a lot crunchier, and involve more math and stat tracking, which does not appeal to a lot of people who have discovered gaming through the more storytelling aspects. This might be improved in their 2E, but I’ve heard mixed reviews of how smoothly 2E plays from various people. It might be worth checking out, but it’s not going to be for everyone.

I’ve played several other systems, but they all seem to fit in a very specific niche - Blades in the Dark is AMAZING, if you want to play heists, it has what feels like exactly the right amount of structure to help you design a story, but it’s not going to work if you want to tell a different type of story. Numenera (and other Monte Cook games) are absolute bangers for cool worldbuilding and atmosphere, but the rules systems can be really difficult to wrap your head around and don’t always feel intuitive even after you’ve been looking at them for a while. Green Ronin’s AGE systems, last time I tried them, leaned a bit on the crunchy/complicated side for my tastes, though they might be worth another look since it’s been a while. The World of Darkness systems are forever favorites for dark urban fantasy style storytelling, and work really well for telling character-driven stories about how power can corrupt, but they’re never going to entirely be for people who want to tell more heroic, uplifting stories. 

And honestly, the biggest issue here is time - even the simplest TTRPG requires an effort investment to learn how to play, and it all depends on whether the people you play with are willing or able to put in that effort, especially if you’re not 100% sure a new system will be right for you. TTRPG community folks can talk all they want about how little effort it takes and how it’s “lazy” to not be willing to learn something new, but that’s the myopia of immersing yourself in one community without getting outside perspectives. In the real world, everyone has limited time and energy, and we can choose what we want to spend that limited energy on. Many people understandably don’t want to spend that energy on a brand new TTRPG system when they already know how to play D&D, or when they’re half-learning already because they watch CR or D20, or listen to TAZ, etc. And if they wanted to free-form RP without rules, they’d probably be doing so already. 

I think it’d be great if people would start to put together resources for learning their favorite systems - YouTube videos about how to play, or links to good Actual Plays, especially short campaigns that can be more easily digested, or other starter resources. And also share any experiences they have with modifying these systems to fit their own needs, how they tell stories, what they’ve found to be the pros and cons of these systems. The current drama may or may not be blown out of proportion - we will see when WotC actually releases the final draft of the new OGL - but considering how to broaden the audience for smaller game systems is a good idea regardless. The easier you can make it, and the more appealing you can make a system look, the more likely people are to check it out. And the more competition other companies/creators can give Hasbro/WotC, the better off everyone will be.

[creabirds]

the lovely @albonoooo tagged me to share my 10 favorite reads of 2023. oh boy, here we go.

so far i've read 61 books this year (which is below my goal grrr but whatever. when life hits you or something) so it's a tough decision. these are in no particular order:

once there were wolves - charlotte mcconaghy | a really haunting novel set in the scottish highlands revolving around a woman who is working on a project to rewild wolves to the area. the writing is brain-meltingly beautiful. please look up the content warnings tho!

middlegame - seanan mcguire | i do not know how to explain this one except it is absolutely brilliant??? about a boy and a girl with very special talents in language and maths, respectively (and they're not in love!). and like, alchemy and human experimentation. it's very weird but alas, i love weird books

girl, woman, other - bernardine evaristo | a beautifully interwoven story about the lives of twelve black British women (& other) that explores family and love in such a compelling way!!! it certainly didn't win the booker prize without reason

bunny - mona awad | if you like weird things this is the book for you. also if you enjoy unreliable narration, (toxic) female friendships and dark academia. it's a girl's right to be weird and slightly cult-ish

yellowface - r.f. kuang | i cannot make this list without mentioning r.f. kuang bc she is the loml. this book is not my favorite by her but it was certainly a banger, as always. if you're interested in topics of post-colonialism and systemic racism you should never miss out on her books

the deep - solomon rivers | magical alternate history about a mysterious mermaid population in a vaguely post-apocalyptic world. lovely portrayal of culture, (shared) memory and generational trauma

she who became the sun - shelley parker-chan | just another asian-inspired fantasy to add to my list of favorites because i just love them so much. this one was so fun and has queer and nb rep!!!

none of this is serious - catherine prasifka | i didn't really ENJOY reading this bc it kept calling me tf out the whole time. if you, like me, find yourself living in existential dread, the anxiety of a small rabbit being chased by lions, and a crippling social media addiction, this will be a fun one to get through

the raven cycle - maggie stiefvater | i've just finished my THIRD reread of this series in 5 or so odd years. yes it is that good. if you haven't read it GO NOW. it's ya but i promise it's not very ya-ish. paranormal fantasy / magical realism / legends and the most likable cast of characters you will ever see (did you say: where can i find ya books with female mcs that have a personality? the answer is HERE)

her body and other parties - carmen maria machado | i've never really read a short story collection before so this was an interesting experience. i loved some of them more than others but they're def worth a read, some even mind-boggling

sorry for rambling but if you truly expect an english major to not go on a rant about books you've been sorely mistaken

if you ever need book recs please feel free to slide into my inbox/dms i am a walking library

tagging @wanderingblindly @grubbyraccoonhands @drivestraight @maxcuntstappen and whoever wants to do it im not sure who of you reads books besides slurping down fanfic like its melted gummybears so uh.

[masterofrecords]

Ask gameee

1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title]

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

And 18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

Ah, thank you!

1. Well, you didn't specify which fic, but that doesn't really matter because... uh... I don't really have one, whatever you ask about? Like I mentioned in a previous ask game, I don't listen to a lot of songs that have lyrics, and if I borrow any lines from titles, it's almost always from poems rather than songs. Like, I cannot impress how much I'm not a person to make character or fic playlists. I know some authors who do, and that genuinely blows my mind, I have so much respect for some people who can actually think of actual songs when writing instead of purely Vibes.

17. I learned a lot while writing! A lot on bird behavior, for example, and also how stuff like country fairs work. For Aquarium I obviously research a lot of octopus and eel biology (like that post about the Large Pacific Striped octopus - that was one of the first things I learned when doing preliminary research around the start of the fic, or the eel teeth stuff that I promised a separate post on and never actually wrote it) I occasionally research language stuff, too. I do not want to think of the implications of NRC actually hosting students with very different native languages (that's a disaster waiting to happen - even if some people, like Leona, Kalim, Vil, Rook, etc. would have access to good education pre-NRC, that's far from the truth for a lot of other students. What about Deuce? Ruggie? They're 16 when they start, too, and we have no indication that anything but magical prowess (and possibly trauma) are the criteria for getting admitted. Like, even at university level, studying in a language you don't know too well, even if it means living surrounded by that language, is extremely hard and usually means, well, that the studying part doesn't go very well (I've seen that both first-hand and in friends' accounts). Anyway, as you can see, the concept of languages in twst gives me a massive headache because while it's explicitly said that different languages exist, it's very unclear how exactly. I get that it's a conventionality born out of the game being primarily in a single language; but as with many things fairy tale cough - mer biology - cough if you think about it long enough it stops making sense. So I don't.) Still, I do try to give the characters colloquialisms and stuff more fitting for the culture they're inspired by - and that means researching quite a lot of idioms. I think the hardest bit of research I have to do is Floyd's nicknames for the NPCs. I'm not super knowledgeable about fish, so coming up with a name fitting a character can be hard.

18. I'll be very honest, I'm quite proud of the last line of the currently last chapter of Aquarium (28). I wanted it to elicit a response and boy did it. I think my absolute favorite lines are still the ones written for a few old fandoms - and I don't know if I want to post them here, but I believe my absolute peak banger was a nightmare description in a RWBY fanfic. So, limiting things to stuff on this account... I'm very fond of a few lines in my Angstober stuff - they're short, so I like to think they had some impactful lines, but I'm not sure how impactful they are out of context. Still, some of my favorites that I think hold up even taken out of context (yes, this is just me shamelessly promoting my original work and my OCs. sorry.):

From The Council:

There was no doubt in Lucas’s mind. In the end, sacrifice was rarely fully selfless. It was a choice taken away from someone else, it was a grieving loved one left alone, it was leaving the burdens of one’s ideals behind for others to deal with. It was a sin as much as a virtue. Lucas had never feared sin.

From Hearts of Cinder:

She straightened her back and cast the most arrogant look she could muster on her attackers. If she was going to die, she would do so with dignity. If she had to die, she’d make sure everyone else burned. For the first time since the Calamity, the familiar magic answered her call without any effort, mirroring her fury. For one last night, her fire set the world ablaze.

As for Aquarium... In general, I don't feel like my writing has a lot to offer outside of the text of the story itself? Like, I'm no Terry Pratchett. These two seem to be universally liked though, and I guess I agree?

From chapter 7:

Well, newsflash – I don’t want a relationship! My VNs are all I need, okay, IRL people are a pain. No stats, no routes, just pure confusion.

From chapter 15:

“Have you never heard of the phrase to love not because, but despite?” Vil questions and Azul stills. “It’s hardly rational to see someone at their lowest and still decide they are worthy of your love. It’s even more irrational to let someone see your ugliest side, and still let yourself be loved by them.”

Some of my favorites are still coming (quite a few of them), but I think I have one that doesn't look too spoilery:

Azul thought back to how miserable his life had been before meeting the twins, even despite having such a loving, safe home. He thought of the guy that gifted Jamil the bracelet and the bonds Jamil had forged in middle school, frayed but intact, and he thought of Kalim’s lonely, golden cage, and didn’t know what to say.

[famouslyindecipherable]

many of the nice things that happened to me yesterday

I had a really good day yesterday and i just thought I'd share. there's no point to this, almost all of it is uninteresting out of context, and im not gonna wrap it all up into something cohesive, but here's how my day was :)

first of all my morning started with me learning that some of my dad's photos from dashcon are Very popular to the point where if you google dashcon slenderman you can easily find someone's post of them, not to mention someone redrew a couple of the photos which was So So cool to see

my history of film class was pretty uneventful but my professor is an all around pleasant guy and i enjoy being in his class

then i went to get lunch (/breakfast. so really brunch) with my friend and it was some Banger Pasta. which is starting to become a thursday tradition bc she already goes to that place for lunch with our other friend so we go there early and when i go to class she just hangs out until our other friend gets there LOL

we were looking out the windows and we saw a little baby running around in a little puffer coat and she started chasing a starship robot (little food delivery robot, if you haven't heard of them) and she waved at it and the crowd (me and my friend) went Wild.

also this was expected bc i think it's their routine but three of my favorite professors in the film department (which i say even though this is my first semester having any of them LOL) also walked in and since my friend and i are both in film production one of them always points us out and says hi. the other two don't really say anything they're just kinda like :) but that's just how they are.

((also notably this brunch time is sandwiched between my classes with both of the professors who don't say much LOL,, i usually leave a few minutes after they leave bc me and one of them r going to the same place))

anyway after that i went to my editing class ofc and i finished up my edit of the hold up, i decided im okay with it not being particularly creative because it doesn't necessarily Have to be. sure mine won't stand out but that's okay, not everything i do has to be above and beyond

anyway editing is my last class of the day, and it was really really nice out (57°F, my favorite temperature ever) so i dropped by my room to put on a lighter jacket and i went and wandered around for a while

Then i ended up going to the library and i knocked out some stuff I've needed to get done, and After That i helped run a pop culture club meeting (im the vice president) which i usually don't enjoy a whole lot but this time we had bad fanfic night and the turnout was Pretty Great especially compared to our other meetings

Anyway then i went home and had some pizza. The end

[hauntedpearl]

hi doe! its me again. (wow this ask got long — feel free to disregard at any point). i was wondering what your thoughts, as a writer and reader, are with regards to writers writing about cultures or religions that are not their own in fantasy settings? i’ll give you an example from my perspective. i love researching and i love adding things from all around the world into my stories. i was torn about naming a character as an Aztec god, or writing them as an original character but drawing their characteristics from this god, with inspiration from other sources.

i feel as though, as a white australian, by naming them specifically as Aztec, i would be doing a disservice to Mexican people and people of Aztec descent, similar to stephanie meyer writing jacob’s tribe into her book, where many feel now as though she was capitalising and commodifying a culture that has nothing to do with her and not only that but enforcing white colonialism (the topic is nuanced, but that’s one criticism i’ve seen). i would never want to do that!

i also wonder about this with regards to Judaism, which i do not expect you to speak on specifically, it’s just an example. like, i want to write fic about dean and cas being counsellors at a Jewish summer camp a la wet hot american summer, bcos that movie is a banger and also i can’t see them as any religion/faith except Jewish. i know a lot of my Jewish mutuals would be cool with that, but i just want to do it in that doesn’t hurt anyone, is well researched, and is also fun! same with the original example.

and also i understand that you are just one person with your own opinion, so if other people want to weigh in i would love that! 💜

okay I've been thinking about this ask for a while now, and you're so right in saying that I am just one person. and i am still growing. any opinions i have right now are informed by my experiences so far and personal biases, and I'm always open to learning and understanding and being better. so i want that to be a disclaimer to anything i might say here. take it with a huge grain of salt, don't hesitate to tell me if you feel like I'm being stupid about anything.

I spent a lot of time on "bookternet" before i got active on tumblr again, and this is a pretty common topic of conversation there. i feel like I've basically run through all kinds of arguments for and against doing this in books and my thoughts are. a little complex. so let me try and order them for you.

First of all, i think there's a huge difference between a writer wanting to write a different culture into their book if they're self-publishing/posting it on the internet v/s them doing it when they're going the tradpub route. Traditional publishing is pretty fucked up as an industry, and very unfairly skewed towards cishet white authors. Not only in, like, picking their books up in general, but in how much they get paid/the marketing budgets for their books etc., So I'd definitely advice *against* completely basing your book on a poc/marginalized culture if you wanna get published traditionally.

Secondly, i think, as well-intentioned as it might be, research is just. not enough. I mean it's okay if you're writing fanfic and/or are posting your story online for the time being. Because, again, i feel like in these scenarios, it is more about just exploring the craft, as it were, and learning to navigate these tough questions. And you'll make mistakes and that's fine. But even then, it's always better to. like. bring someone in to do a sensitivity read for you. Of course you can't always gauge how this will be recieved by your audience, but it's still going to help in some way! And take their feedback seriously. if, in the end, you have to axe something, you should just do it, no questions asked! (think Naomi Novik, when she edited bits out of the finished edition of A Deadly Education when the final ARCs went out and people had a lot of criticisms!)

And lastly, always constantly self-examine! Definitely think about your motivations behind wanting to add these elements to your story. why are you doing it? is it exotic to you? is it strange and new? or are you trying to tell a story that needs telling? i have absolutely nothing against casually represented characters, but there's a line there where it can turn into something exploitative and i think you should be consistently working to make sure you don't cross it.

Now, as a reader, i don't have the ability to know that all this work has been done. but i think it comes through in some way.

when I'm picking up a book, if i see that it's entirely based off of my culture and the author is white? i am literally quaking in my boots ajgdjskd. i don't mind if there's a side character or another main character, even! — Victoria schwab is one of my faves and one of the main cast of her most popular series, ADSOM, is like. brown. Fantasy culture but still. it was fun and i don't think she needs to be cancelled or whatever, because she made the world so that it all kind of fit in.

but i do get uncomfortable when the entire world and the in-canon culture and people are based on a poc culture. like that's weird and sus. i might still read it, but I'll be extra careful because sometimes the things that can feel violent will be super small and you'll be upset for weeks over it and it won't make sense but yeah.

in conclusion, i think it's okay if you want to borrow these elements as long as you not only do the research, but actually reach out to people and make sure you didn't accidentally do a racism in the story. don't make it all about them, tho, because that will never be your story to tell, and you won't be able to do it right. and that's just. idk. i think it's worse than having no story at all sometimes yk?

i hope this made sense it's hard to. like. properly express what I'm thinking bc this is a very complex topic and i think I'd do better in conversation but yeah. good luck!

[anarchycox]

1, 3, and 8 for the fic writer asks 💙

what's the fic youre most proud of?

Oof, proud of so much of my writing. But right now? Something I am really proud of is my collaboration with @thenerdyindividual on B&B in Modern Wales. The act of writing a pretty damn seamless fic with another writer, on a ship that isn't in my top three ships in the fandom? Yeah I am proud of that. Also it is just a banger of a story.

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

I already answered but hey I'm emotionally attached to a lot of fics, so I can provide a different answer!

In my merlin fics I am super emotionally attached to is The Only Ghosts in the Graveyard. It is a small fic of a rare pair and barely about romance at all - more about how we view grief and the dead. I dunno, something about this fic, I am just super attached to it.

8. does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

YUP! My husband certainly knows, my parents know, my in-laws sort of know. People I work with know I do it, but no one knows my username. There is a line? Like I'll proudly say yeah I write fanfic, hell I've taught fanfic when I've taught online pop culture writing. I've done a presentation at a small conference on fanfic where I say I write it. But also I don't share my username because the outside world would be reading more to see what I'm writing, and not get it? It wouldn't be about the culture. I've literally had someone irl stop engaging with me when they found out I wrote fanfic thinking it weird or childish, but hey fuck them, I'm happy and not hurting anyone. Whether you share this hobby or not with the outside world, some will be happy, some will think you are cringe, and most? most won't care.

[atomicpsyche]

Guts Album Ramble

note: whenever i say 'this song reminds me of x song', i do not mean to accuse olivia of plagiarism. i can tell when a song takes inspiration from another song, versus a ripoff of the original. if you feel like my opinions will trigger you, feel free to not proceed with reading this post.

Favorite songs: lacy, ballad of a homeschool girl, making the bed, logical, pretty isn't pretty, teenage dream

all-american bitch: all about the pressures of american women to live up to cultural standards. i really like the rock elements of this song, and how versatile her voice is allowed to be.

bad idea right? i really like the way she sings the refrain, and the way the instrumental stops when she says so. i personally don't like chants in music, so the chorus was a miss for me. so was the repetition in the pre-chorus. i do find the lyrics good fanfic material, so there's that. the lyrics are straightforward, depicting two people who have broken up who have started to 'rekindle' their relationship, something that she hides from her friends. repeated listening makes me like it more.

vampire: this is going to sound contradictory, but the beginning was rather slow for me, and everything else was too fast. i don't like the instrumental for this one, but i do love the lyrics. my favorite parts of the song is the introduction and the first chorus and the bridge. the lyrics depict a relationship with a man that took advantage of and lied to her, just like a vampire.

lacy: for some reason, it gives me the vibes of a melanie martinez song. the soft airy quality of her voice is something that suits the song. the lyrics are the definition of jealousy to the point where the singer's obsession with 'lacy' borders on attraction. honestly, this song is right up my alley. the instrumentation is simple, and that's not a bad thing. i like this bit around 2:09.

ballad of a homeschool girl: the beginning is a banger. i love how the song detailing the social anxiety of a teen is a rock song; even though being socially stunted is a common trope associated with homeschooled kids. i really loved the speed at which the song picked up at the end of the last chorus.

making the bed: it's a song that's soft and slow and reflective, and i really like it. we can't forget it's rather melancholic and self-deprecating tone either. i find this line contradictory with all-american bitch: "another day pretendin' i'm older than i am" vs "i know my age and i act like it." theory/ making the bed is a song about her success in the music world, and the music world isn't very kind to young women who make it (it isn't kind to many in general, but i digress) so you want to seem mature and that you deserve to be where you are, and not a fluke based on novelty. all-american bitch is about the expectations placed on american women, so acting your age is better. act too young, and you're immature, but act too 'grown' and people will judge you.

logical: i think it was a mistake to have this back to back with making the bed; both of this songs blur together. her voice is lovely and i enjoy the soft piano. this song is about a manipulative lover who destroys her self confidence with his lies and put downs, but she still loves him despite all logic. the softness in her voice as she sings the outro is one of my favorite parts of this whole song. this song reminds me of willow by taylor swift. age is another thing brought up in this song, probably another way to discredit anything olivia had to say.

get him back: i don't like this song, and i skip it every time.

love is embarrassing: it's pleasant to listen to, but rather generic. i like the instrumental right at the start of the second verse. the song isn't too fast or too slow, it's just right. i find the lyrics to be generally relatable.

the grudge: the song is rather gloomy, moody and rationalizing. it's sad girl hours up in here. it's the perfect 'broke up with an asshole and trying to cope' song. i love how the title shows her exes hold on her, like a grudge, he cannot leave even when he has.

pretty isn't pretty: the introduction of pretty isn't pretty sounds like last friday night. i like olivia's deeper voice as a contrast to the 'warm' beat. the lyrics are something that anyone can relate to, i especially love the lyrics for the chorus, because when everyone scrambles to be pretty, the definition of pretty begins to change and you could always look prettier in comparison to the girl next to you.

teenage dream: ooo age is really a running theme here, isn't it? the lyrics of this song haunts me as someone who is anxious about growing up. the bridge of the song is my favorite. 'when will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?' me @ every edgy or nlog protagonist ever. the instrumental really hits home her melancholic fears for the future.

[discotreque]

LwD 2.03: We’ll Always Have Tom Paris

I’ve lived in the same apartment for eight years now, and yesterday was the fifth catastrophic mechanical failure of the same bathroom toilet—all unrelated issues, too; this time it was the fill valve. At this point I don’t know whether to call a plumber or an exorcist… but anyway, it’s been kind of hard to focus on Star Trek! Ugh.

This week’s episode is credited to M. Willis, who I last encountered on She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, a show about which I wrote literally 100,000 words of fanfic last year, in between Picard and Lower Decks when I had no Star Trek to obsess over. Willis’s She-Ra episodes tended to be slightly off-format in execution, with big action set pieces, lots of characters in unexpected combinations, and usually an emotional game-changer of a climax—and her last credit on this show was “Much Ado About Boimler,” which obviously had all those elements too. She writes to her strengths!

Spoilers within:

If you need me, I’m going to be ugly-laughing about “Voy” for the rest of the day. (Wow, that does actually save a ton of time!)

SHAXS IS BACKXS!!!! The lower-deckers never knowing how or why a senior officer came back from the dead is a perfect microcosm of this show. I love that he still calls Rutherford “Baby Bear,” and I love the weird cosmic horror that LwD keeps sprinkling into the Star Trek universe. (What does that koala know?) I hope this doesn’t mean we’ve seen the last of Kayshon! His appearance on the bridge gives me hope we’ll get to keep both characters around.

Star Trek has always had fairly fuzzy world-building for the world outside Starfleet—understandable, since 99% of Star Trek takes place within Starfleet—but it’s been such a thrill to see LwD (and Picard) finally establish some in-universe pop culture that isn’t conveniently familiar to 20th- or 21st-century audiences. Like the Zebulon Sisters last season—a band that apparently does USO-style tours of Starfleet ships? Delightful. Kestra Troi-Riker having a t-shirt from a Sex Pistols cover band in Klingon? Fucking brilliant. Tendi bonding with the guy at the storage place over the “Klingon acid punk” playing from his little Bluetooth speaker? PUT IT IN MY VEINS.

They really put the character development in gear this week! I liked how we locked in a couple of things already established in extra-canonical material: Mariner’s bisexuality, which Mike McMahan mentioned in an interview last year, and Tendi’s given name, D’vana (which I was sure we’d heard on the show before, but I guess not?).

Speaking of Mariner’s love life, is human–Bynar dating just… by definition a threesome situation?

We learned a lot of new things about Tendi, though, and every single one makes her 10 times more interesting to me. Remember last season, when she said “many” Orions hadn’t been pirates or slavers “for over five years”? Is the implication that something happened in Orion culture—around the end of the Dominion War?—that led to Tendi (and presumably others) rejecting a life of crime and joining Starfleet? How long was she “the Mistress of Winter Constellations” before that—or is it more of an inherited title? I want more Tendi lore!!!!

(Speaking of Tendi’s life, another quick and confounding piece of information for my red-yarn “what the hell is up with Tendiford” theory board: Mariner asks if they’re dating and Tendi’s response is “Not really!” Not really? That’s not no, D’vana!)

This show continues to be a surprisingly conventional workplace sitcom underneath all the excellent Star Trek (and that’s not a bad thing, just a genre overlap that keeps falling out of the front of my mind). Boimler’s inability to use the computer hit way too close to home for me this week: a couple years ago, I returned to a job after a long-term leave of absence, during which time I’d been assigned to a new manager—who’d never had an employee return from long-term leave before, so he didn’t know what to do beforehand—so I spent my first day back just chilling at my desk, fucking around on my phone, because there was literally nothing else I could do without logging into the system first. Too real!

Something we’ve seen in this show that I’m not sure we’ve seen before w/r/t the food replicators is somebody putting a tray of food into the replicator to add more food on top of it—in this case Shaxs getting spicy kiwi ketchup (?!) on a hot dog he seems to have already replicated. (He couldn’t have asked for “hot dog, with spicy kiwi ketchup” in the first place? This is haunting me worse than him coming back from the dead.)

As a certified cat lady, the T’Ana plotline—and its resolution—made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe (unless that was the toxoplasmosis). I should have seen it coming, but I was too distracted by the second-hand embarrassment of them breaking “Jeremy” (and the completely unprecedented Star Trek plot of a doctor getting off on her grandmother’s family heirloom…).

Miscellany:

Jet offering to carry Boimler across the threshold of the door like a bride… am I going to ship THIS now?

Mariner interpreting Tendi’s “talk like a pirate!” in the same way a modern millennial would—“Arr, how ya be doin’ today, me fellow Orion?”—might have been my favourite dumb joke in the entire episode. (“I’m allergic to, uh, pheromones?”)

Tawny Newsome read the line about “only one name, like Odo!” in the script and apparently literally called Mike McMahan out of the blue to remind him that Odo’s name is short for “Odo’ital” and she didn’t want nitpicking nerds on her case. He told her the line was so funny he would accept the nitpicking, so don’t blame Tawny—she tried to warn him!

“There’s like, only a couple people in the quadrant who can say they got beat up by Tom Paris.” Is that a burn? I think that’s a burn.

Another banger of an episode. This show is more confident this season, and I’m loving it—and based on what I’ve heard from people who’ve seen the next two episodes, it only gets better from here. HYYYYYYYPE!!!!!!

See you next week—I’ve got to go fashion a toilet plunger into a crucifix, apparently.

[balancingbookact]

Best & Worst Books of 2017:

I had a pretty great reading year in 2017 and read quite a few bangers. Some honourable mentions go out to the Sensational She-Hulk series, Jessica Jones: the Pulse, The Stand, The Drawing of the Three, American Gods, Scott Pilgrim (a re-read so it doesn’t count), The Dark Prophecy, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Hound of the Baskervilles, and It Devours! All good books but now for the actual list.

Best:

1. The Hammer of Thor (Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, Book 2), by Rick Riordan.

I could easily put The Ship of the Dead here either, but while I think that book had more crowd-pleasing moments, this one has better pacing and an over-all more engaging plot. This series is great. Not only is Magnus a great lead, but all the side characters are fleshed out and have their own stories to tell. The Norse mythology is so readable in Rick Riordan’s style and I don’t care what people say, I will read anything this man writes. Keep ‘em coming, Rick!

2. Islam and Contemporary Civilisation by Halim Rane.

I had to read this for a class at uni and I have never enjoyed a text book more. This book reminded me of what reading is all about: learning something from another person’s perspective. I learned so much about the Islamic religion and culture through this book and Professor Rane’s tutes, and it was one of the most enriching classes I’ve ever taken.

3. Noteworthy by Riley Redgate.

Everyone stop what you’re doing and read this book about a girl who disguises herself as a boy and joins an all-male a cappella group at her prestigious art school. With a premise like that you’re probably expecting some Pitch Perfect/She’s the Man hybrid, and while it is funny, it’s also very heartfelt and delves into conversations about sexuality, gender, and gender performance that often get over-looked in cross-dressing stories. Jordan, our protagonist, is such a real person, and all the connections she forms are touching in their own, unique ways. I haven’t read a book that made me feel so connected to a character since Fangirl. Read it.

4. Sammy and Juliana in Hollywood by Benjamin Alire Saenz.

I also read Last Night I Sang to the Monster, which could have easily made this list as well but I think I like Sammy and Juliana just a little bit more. Anyone who thinks Aristotle and Dante was a fluke is wrong. This man is not some one-hit wonder. His books all hold such a soft tenderness, and even when he doesn’t shy away from some of the brutalities of life, there’s always hope for the characters. Sammy and Juliana is about a town of mostly Latinx people living in the U.S in the 60s. It paints such an amazing picture of what life was like for these people, and is one of the best coming of age (I guess?) stories I’ve ever read.

5. The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente.

I already wrote a glowing review of this on my goodreads (check me out here) but this book is everything I’ve ever wanted. It takes a look at the ‘Women in Refrigerators’ trope in superhero comics, which involves female characters being killed or otherwise brutalised for the development of a male characters story and blows it wide open. It looks at looks at six female characters (with the names and stories altered slightly): Gwen Stacy, Jean Grey, Harley Quinn, Karen Page, Queen Mera, and Alexandra DeWitt, and tells their stories and how pissed they are about being dead. It’s great commentary on the genre and Valente’s writing is just so raw and passionate. It evoked many emotions in me and I will die if more people don’t start reading this book.

6. How to Train Your Dragon, books 10-12 (How to Seize a Dragon’s Jewel, How to Betray A Dragon’s Hero, and How to Fight A Dragon’s Fury).

I finally finished this series after years of reading it and let me tell you right now, this is one of the best series ever written, period. The first seven books can be read as individual adventures, but it’s only once you get to the later part of the series that you see all the threads that have been carefully left to be woven together in a feat of masterful story-telling. This series has one of the greatest Heroes Journey stories ever put to page. I will fight anyone who says differently. I can’t pick a favourite out of these three, they’re all amazing. I just implore you to look past some of the outward silliness and read these books. You won’t regret it.

7. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green.

After five long years John Green has finally come out with a new book, and let me tell you, the wait was worth it. Some people may fight me on this but I think this is John Green’s best book he ever done wrote. His books have always been personal but seeing the thoughts and feelings Aza has when dealing with OCD, you can’t help but see the heart that has been put into this book. The portrayal of mental illness and the hopelessness one can feel when confronted by this invisible, seemingly unstoppable force, is so genuine, and anyone’s who’s ever suffered with something similar will see their experience reflected back at them with such clarity it’ll break your heart a bit. A damn good book.  

Worst:

None of these books were really terrible, I was just expecting more from them, and I didn’t get it. This list is short though, so there’s that at least. Sadly, here we are:

1. We Go Forward by Alison Evans.

I picked this book up almost solely for the ace rep, and while I have no issues with how that was done, everything else was just so ‘meh’. A story about two Australian girls who meet while traveling in Europe and decided to keep going together sounds like a good time, but instead it was an aimless, meandering mess. We have a basic understanding of these characters from vague backstories, but it never amounts to anything. There’s no real plot, no driving force and no conceivable aim in sight. It’s just a couple of girls, who have some baggage, strolling around Europe and not really focussing on the budding friendship. Just a bit of a let-down, really.  

2. Illuminae (the Illuminae Files, book 1) by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff.

This was probably the biggest disappointment of the year. I was so hyped for this book and waited specifically so I could listen to the audiobook and when I did I quickly discovered it just wasn’t really all that good. A book about a colony of people fleeing from a menacing company that destroyed their planet, mixed in with a zombie plague on the spaceships sounds like it would be awesome! Unfortunately so much of the potential was sacrificed for the alternative format, which didn’t really do anything for the story and just seemed like it was there to look cool. When you have a man with saw raw, visceral prose as Jay Kristoff and you limit his narration, you are doing a disservice to the people. Jay flies better as a solo operative, in my opinion. 

3. We Awaken by Calista Lynne.

Another book with ace rep that I was excited for that let me down. This story of a girl who meets a beautiful woman version of the Sandman, and their ensuing romance sounded so promising, unfortunately this book lacked direction. Our characters mill about like some couple in a domestic fanfic (which are great but that’s not what I signed up for), and the book tries to throw in some obstacles at the last minute, but everything is resolved so conveniently that it pretty much made no difference. The writing was sub-par and read like a first draft, which hurts me to say so, but it’s true. 

Here’s to another year of reading in 2018! *releases party-popper*