#this is literally Impossible to read....... and it makes no sense... just me rambling <3

[2knightt]

hiii I was wondering if u could do smth for the outsiders? Like Darry has a s/o who is the mother figure for the gang and often Johnny n pony call her ma / mom? I js thought it was sooo cute but if not it’s also okay dearrr

darry curtis x motherly!reader

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.swearing

3.probably ooc LMFAO

darry would literally love you. oh my god.

you’re caring???? you help take care of the gang??? you help ponyboy with homework???

you might as well rip his heart out of his chest cause it’s already yours!

the gang loves you, probably even more than darry does!

but to darry, that’s impossible.

you’re heaven sent to him. he truly believes you’re a miracle!

when he’s stressed out, you’re right there to help him destress!

giving him a massage, giving him tea, shit maybe even all of the above if you feel like it.

“jeez dare, stop overworking yourself so much! you’re gonna die some day because of it!”

“no i won’t, been doin’ it for so long i’ve gotten used to it.”

“thats even worse!!”

when you cook for him he will GOBBLE it up.

homie can taste the love you put in and he thinks it makes the food taste 100x better.

but even you have stressful days! but, expect darry to treat you like a princess!

he will not let you leave his bed, he is getting everything you want.

water? done. a book? already in your hand. a fucking car? he’s wasting all his money for you!

he will follow you to hell if you ask him nicely.

he just loves you so much.

when he somehow get’s hurt in rumbles he’s so glad you’re there to patch him up.

but he isn’t glad that he gets an earful from you.

“you know i hate these things. why do you out of all people go darry? you’re better than this.”

he just grumbles because he doesn’t even want to answer anything with a black eye that’s slowly forming on his right eye.

the gang is so thankful that you can patch them up too. they sometimes fight over who you’re gonna help next.

“i’m goin’ after darry!”

“SODA! YOU’VE GONE SECOND FOR LIKE 3 TIMES IN A ROW. IT’S MY TURN!!”

“PISS OFF TWO-BIT.”

“actually it’s my turn.”

“shut the hell up steve.”

“AYE!”

ponyboy’s just happy he has a mother figure in his life again. his mom was definitely his favourite parent, so now that he has someone to replicate that, he’s on the moon.

he only calls you mom or ma in private, he’s too embarrassed to say it with others in the room.

BUT, he definitely lets the mom calling slip accidentally infront of the gang.

“mom, do you need help with the dishes?”

“MOM?!”

“WHAT?!?”

pony just looks down in embarrassment until you chuckle and agree to him helping you. then he’s all smiles and sunshine!

darry is so happy to see this you don’t get it.

darry asks for advice from you to get to know ponyboy better since he rambles on and on about whatever he’s most interested in at the time.

“so uh, about ponyboy…”

“oh! he really likes ‘gone with the wind’, i know you don’t have much time to read so, i can just tell you the important stuff!”

he just nods and stares at you as you talk about the characters, the main plot, and the small details ponyboy’s obsessed with.

he’s taking mental notes and thanking you heavily when you’re finished talking!

“thank you, y/n. really. i appreciate all you do for me.”

“awe! of course, babe. anything for you.”

he’s giggling and blushing at the last sentence

he’s so thankful that you’re there to talk some sense into the gang.

sometimes he sits on the sidelines and just watches.

“DALLAS WINSTON. WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH WERE YOU THINKING PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!”

“I’M SORRY! JESUS.”

dallas just throws his hands in the air in defeat, knowing that no matter how much he apologizes you’ll continue to scold him.

but he listens, he doesn’t do whatever he did for awhile.

darry just chuckles at the sight.

his mom used to scold dallas like that, so seeing you do the same brought back good memories for him.

being around you just reminds him of the ‘good old days’ so when he’s around you his mood immediately lifts.

like he could be yelling at ponyboy to raise his grades and you could walk in and darry would go “AND STUDY MO- oh hey babyyy!!☺️☺️”

everyone’s eternally grateful for you.

ESPECIALLY JOHNNY GOOD LORD.

he goes to you for literally everything.

something bad happened to him?? he’s at your front door! something good happened to him??? he’s right beside you telling you about it!

yeah, he calls you mom too.

he doesn’t mean to though! he just looks up to you so much, he’s always seen you has a mother figure but he never thought he’d actually call you mom!

“hey ma, does my hair look tuff!?”

“huh?”

he’s FROZEN in place. he’s so embarrassed, he’s literally overheating.

you just giggle to yourself and say his hair does infact, look extremely tuff.

he walks away smiling with a little hop when he walks.

the gang fights over your attention with darry.

they ain’t got a good life at home, but if you give them the motherly love they’ve been missing? they will kill someone for you.

darry loves and hates this.

he loves that you and the gang get along. he can’t be with someone the gang doesn’t like, but he hates that they like you so much they talk to you 24/7.

he sometimes just snatches you while you’re talking to someone in the curtis house.

like you could be talking to sodapop and he’ll come behind you and grab you by the waist and carry you into his room.

all that while soda chases him down, yelling nonsense.

“DARRY! I WAS TALKING TO HER.”

“that’s crazy…”

overall, darry would definitely look for a mother-like lover.

he needs it fr🙏

author notes;

1.EVERYONE SHUT UP THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST I CANT

2.when i read dear i lowkey giggled and kicked my feet

3.should i make a taglist??!!???? would literally anyone like to be tagged in my outsiders fics?!!!????

4.i really hope i did this justice LMFAO

5.btw if you’ve DMed me im not ignoring you, im working up the courage to talk to you. im a very nervous person😭😭

may 11th, 2023. 10:18PM.

[soapyghost]

what about tooth-rotting fluff with König and reader where she meets him at the airport when he is returning home?? imagine the desperate hug,, shy but impatient kisses and fjfidkfjfodkwbdl

also, maybe the plane a few hours was late but reader stuck around, so when König gets off the plane he is supposed (and a little touch) that reader stayed for hours for him??? a bit of angst if you will <3

Reunion

A/N: I can't help but love this silly 6'10 Austrian man more than I should. This is kinda GN! reader. So I hope you don't mind. Just a short lil ramble on the airport reunion. Warnings: literally nothing, just pure fluff.

Your phones ping pulls you from your desperate pacing. “Flight 2768 has landed and is now de-boarding” it reads. A sigh escapes your lips, you hadn’t realize you had been holding your breath. Searching the board you found what gate he would be at and painfully walked as slow and controlled as possible; hoping that by the time you reach the gate he may have been almost off the plane. The long walk to the other end of the airport may just be long enough for you to compose yourself so you wouldn’t break down in tears when you finally got to hug him.

König knew that his size would slow down the process of any transit so he was always the last one off. So of course by the time you made it to his gate he hadn’t deplaned yet. After what felt like an eternity but surely wasn’t longer than 5 minutes, his hulking frame was finally visible. He was in jeans and a black hoodie, which of course was up. He wasn’t able to wear his normal hood so he also sported a mask to help hide his face. The pandemic was good for one thing at least, the mask he wore blended in with the thousands of other masks worn by those passing by.

You watched and waited for the second he stepped past the security line before you made a bee line sprint for him. Not caring for the hundreds of eyes that snapped to you as you ran as fast as you could into his arms. You noticed his eyes widen before you crashed into him. “Liebe what are you still doing here?” He whispers into your ear. You don’t answer, fearing that if you tried you’d burst into tears right then and there.

The scent of him fills your senses- pine, musk, and a hint of liquor. He must have taken a shot to calm his nerves for the flight. You smile to yourself as you breathe him in, intoxicating and calming. After a moment you grab his hoodie, move his mask and pull him into a kiss. He jumps slightly, you know how anxious PDA makes him feel but you stopped caring 6 hours ago.

He pulls you away and cups your face “Liebe" he warns. His eyes are searching yours for an answer to his previous question. He notices a tear rolling down your cheek and brushes it away with his thumb.

You shove your face back into his chest, "I couldn't just sit at home K" you sob into him. He clutches you tighter into his chest, "You waited, this whole time for me?" his voice cracks. You look up at him, tears freely falling now and nod your head. He leans down to kiss the top of your head before pulling your head out of his chest and peppering you with kisses. "Oh my Liebe, how I have missed you so" he whispers in between kisses.

"It is impossibly late, we need to get you home" he says, pulling away slightly before grabbing your hand.

[dats-hq]

I have been thinking about True Endings, partially because of a post by user sorryitisandy which you can read here, though be warned it contains endgame good route spoilers for Baldur's Gate 3. Anyway Digimon Survive...

I absolutely love the Wrathful and Moral routes. Truthful route... I have a complicated relationship with. In my heart of hearts, Moral ending is the real ending. It was the first ending I got, and it felt like a truly organic consequence of my decisions. I wasn't nice to Ryo at first. I thought he was annoying, and his panic felt malicious to me throughout most of Part 1. It wasn't enough that he was scared; he was mad at Minoru and Takuma for not being as scared, literally screaming at them and belittling them for expressing determination to save Aoi and survive the night together. By the time I came to understand Ryo's point of view better, it felt like it was already maybe too late, especially because I wasn't good at talking to him. My dialogue choices calmed him down maybe about a third of the time in Part 2. The song remained the same for Shuuji in Part 5.

To be clear, under the hood, the decisions I made in the first eight parts of Digimon Survive did not matter in exactly the way I imagined on my first playthrough, but I think it's fair to say that most players had a similar experience with Ryo and Shuuji. The game does a lot of legwork to make it hard to root for them and only very slowly reveal the complexity that lies within.

A lot of fans ask people with lingering animosity toward Ryo and Shuuji to play the Truthful route to see how much better they can turn out when you save them, but to me this feels like admission of a certain level of media illiteracy. Is it cool to see Shuuji grow into the leadership role while staying true to himself? Sure. But what is the core of Shuuji's story? A boy without an emotional support network is burdened with great expectations and forced into a mold he does not fit, and then thrust into an impossible situation where everything he has striven to become is actively detrimental to his goals. You get all of this from an attentive reading of the non-Truthful routes.

I think the thing that bothers me about the existence of the Truthful route is how it frames the other routes. It is Truthful. What does that make the more interesting timelines? Just a point of contrast. Shuuji didn't really die lonely and afraid in a dark corner of another world, but imagine how bad it could have been if he had! The inverse is the more interesting proposition. What a tragedy, what happened to Shuuji. Imagine what he could have become. If you consider the Wrathful and Harmony routes, this is the dynamic we discover with Kaito and Aoi, after all.

And of course the Truthful route feels like the "real" version of the story because of the structure of the game. It's the ending you have to work the hardest for. It's the ending that stands alone. It's the ending where everything is tied up in a neat bow. It's the ending with the most lore. And all we had to sacrifice was the emotional stakes.

To be clear, I'm not saying the game would be actively improved by simply removing the Truthful ending and changing nothing else. The game was designed from the ground up with the four main endings, so this is really something that would need to be addressed at a foundation level in theoretical Digimon Survive 2, the best game that hasn't yet been made.

Anyway after that long ramble, have a shitpost that sums up how Truthful route feels to me in a hyperbolic way that only makes sense if you hate the merchandization of Evangelion.

[quietpossum]

Do you have any tips on coming up with plot ideas? I’ve been wanting to write a sonadow fic of my own and I felt like asking because aurum, wolfboy, and child of prophecy are seriously some of the greatest fics I’ve ever read in my life lol I always wonder how you come up with these things

Hi! Thanks for asking! Unfortunately explaining how I come up with ideas is a bit like trying to explain quantum physics in the sense that it’s not easy to put into words. But I’ll do my best!!

Every time I come up with an idea, it spawns a little differently.

- I got the idea for Aurum by going on long hikes in the spring/summertime and listening to cool, inspiring music that helped me slowly build the idea by proxy of having lots of time to think.

- I thought of Child of Prophecy because I took a few basic ideas and mashed them together: one, I knew I wanted to make a medieval fic, and two, I’d always wanted to write a Deaf au of Sonic.

- with the new pirate au I’m developing, I literally just woke up one morning and had this brilliant idea, so whatever the heck i was dreaming about that night must have had some impact. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- There’s lowkey a superhero au now floating around the back of my brain thanks to my roommate and I watching Batman: The Animated Series together.

So I can’t necessarily say easily “this is how I do it” because ideas come from just about anywhere. And that’s the fun of it! Look for inspiration in the media you consume, the dreams you have, the things you learn at school/work/etc. But you don’t want to overthink every single thing you encounter— you want your brain to have time to idle, too. Because sometimes the best ideas come when your mind has a chance to rest.

There is a general formula I tend to follow, though— 1) pick a setting, 2) pick an interesting character trait, and 3) pick a problem that needs to be solved.

There are also a TON of idea generation tools out there. I don’t use this particular tool often anymore, but I own a deck of cards called “Storymatic”— the whole idea is that there are different prompts on each card, you draw two or three cards and combine those prompts.

Now, of course, that’s something that requires Buying, but it’s not impossible to make something like this on your own— index cards and a random noun or phrase generator would probably do the trick.

But anyways, there are SO many ways to come up with ideas and no one way is correct! I really hope this ramble of a post helped you out— I wish you the best of luck with your fanfic!

[jimimn]

I'll try to keep this short ❤️ I love this album so much 🥺 And I think I told you that Alone would destroy me and it really did... And it's also my favorite from the album. I can't really explain what I feel when I listen to it, but I always have this tightness in my chest. I had it when I first listened to it and I had a feeling the lyrics would make me cry and they did. It really brings me back to my quarantine days... and not to the better ones. It really has that choking, depressing feeling that quarantine had. I really love his singing in the song too 🥺 He sounds amazing, so gentle, so soft, and yet very strong (I'm literally contradicting myself but anyway)

I really liked Like Crazy too. The mv was amazing, and I read so many theories. Most of them were kinda the same, you know with the woman also representing him. Both the English and Korean versions were done so well 🥺 interlude: dive ❤️ his introduction from the busan concert❤️ oh, and the transition between the songs? Him having a drink at the end of dive, and then like crazy having this "being intoxicated in a club" vibe, and alone starting with an alarm clock... I'm obsessed with this. Also I'm SO SAD letter is only on CD 😭😭 Like I understand why, but Jimin 😭 It's my second favorite from the album, and after listening and crying to Alone, I cried to Letter too 💔 The parallels with blue & grey 😭 Shivi, the urge to get a lyric tattoo from alone or letter 😭

Also I still don't know if he's singing "please me" during Like Crazy and we will never know and it will bother me forever 😂 But anyway. He did such an amazing job, I'm so happy he could finally release this album. And I'm so happy he said he got to overcome and heal from these feelings.

Ps. Let Jimin curse on TV okay thanks that's all ❤️ -🦋

putting it under read more bc i rambled lol <3

i love it so much too 🥺 oh and same, alone took me back to my own quarantine days 😭 i was stuck at a relative's place for three months and my aunt wasn't very good to me. i used to cry alone a lot and that was when i had found bangtan :( they really saved me :( and alone took me back to all of those feelings i went through back then before I found bangtan 😭 everyone's stories are so different but im sure so many people related to alone 🥺 (and no i get what you mean by gentle and soft yet so strong, and i agree) i absolutely LOVED face off too. his voice in face off his so addicting and those high notes damn 😭

and like crazy is a fckin bop ✋🏼 RIIIIGHHTTTT i loved the mv too the colours in the mv .. *chef's kiss* (this is me speaking from a gifmaker perspective btw, i thought the mv would be impossible to colour properly but I had so much fun colouring it and I was satisfied w the results gdhfhdjhfdj ANYWAY thats not the point fghdjfhj) AND PLS TEH THEORIES. SO GENIUS. AND THEY MAKE COMPLETE SENSE TOO. yes yes yes you're so right the transition and connection between the songs truly genius 😭😭😭😭 ALSO LETTER!!!!!!!! YES !!!!!!!!!!!!! im obsessed please it is SUCHHHHH a beautiful song 😭😭😭😭 i cried to letter too 😭 its my new song that i fall asleep to 😭 it was with you before this hdjhfjd. its so beautiful and jikook's voices go so well together and they sound so beautiful 😭 and god it being a hidden track and starting at 6:13 of like crazy english version on the cd just .. it just feels sooooo personal and full of love 😭😭😭 i really wish it was on spotify too but I downloaded the song and added it to my playlists through local files thing on spotify 💖 omgomgomg anon you should definitely get the tattoo!!!! <333

i will believe it is "please me" and run with it 🧘🏼‍♀️ and me too 🥺 the album is so so good im so proud of him 🥺 right, im happy this album helped him to let go of those feelings 🥺

pls you know when they reviewed face off alone and like crazy three days ago and said face off wasn't eligible (?) i thought they totally dropped smf from music shows bc 1. they didn't review it along w the other songs 2. and i thought maybe they didn't review it bc it was already known that it has cussing and i got SO SAD that they wouldn't perform smf 😭 and i was confused too bc bighit did say in the notices that he would perform the prerelease track and the main track. but i was relieved yesterday when they said he performed smf 😌 anywayfddh im dumb. i can't wait to see the performances heheh <33

[absolute-flaming-trash]

OC anon here again (I hope I'm not being annoying)! You're so sweet <3 Thank you. You're really making me feel better.

And don't worry I understand now what you meant, and I kinda agree. I've had some x reader fanfiction AUs that I think could also make good original content if I was just better at original world-building and creating... well, multiple characters. I like writing fanfiction because the world and the characters are already built so I just have to think of the story.

I'd love to create original stories with ocs and world though! But I'm worried no one would like my original content. I've had a story in the back of my mind for years now, but I think it's kinda childish since I came up with it when I was a teen. It's an action horror story!

Do you read other writers' original stories? (As in on Tumblr or other sites for writers.)

Sorry for my ramble. I just enjoy discussing this with you :) You're so easy to talk to! [insert that Mahito scene with Junpei here.]

You're not being annoying at all!

Totally agree with your first paragraph on it being easier, I think that's why a lot of us do it in the first place - at least that's why I do it. Kind of like a stepping stone in a sense, but also just something that's so lovely and enjoyable in general.

Again not everyone is going to like what you put out, and that's okay! Objectively there are 8 billion people on the planet, the chances of making something that every single person will like is quite literally impossible, but there absolutely will be people who like whatever you make. I know it's hard not to think of the numbers, but the moment you let them really start to bother you, it will kill motivation so quickly.

Also, there's a lot of work out there that has been the brainchild of creators who started out on that journey when they were very young. The first example I can think of off the top of my head is Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel, whose author started brainstorming when they were in high school.

As for reading other writers' stories, I have not had the chance (if we're talking strictly original work and not Canon x OC stories) simply due to not being aware of any made by those in my general circle.

[hwaightme]

Okay i'm here as promised buckle up because i have A LOT to say!!!

first lemme just say that i wanted to read the beginning quickly before going to work but i ended up powering through the whole thing i literally could not put it down. during the whole thing i was literally thinking is the kind of shit that should get published. so beofre i ramble into oblivion

i divided my comment into 3 points

first, oc really hit home on this one. like when you wrote that she born into heartbreak and nutured by it i felt that so hard. from the get go i felt really close to her. and what you was were describing felt so real. she didn't feel rushed or superficial she felt like a real character with background and history. so yeah amazing character development

second, the pacing of it all was outstanding!! like it was impossible to stop reading. i was literally held hostage by this fic yes it was THAT good! every event the was progressing the story flowed naturally nothing felt rushed or dragged on. it was just the perfect rythym!!!

third, T.H.E S.M.UT. girllll i cannot believe it was your first smut!!!! like brooo omg the amount of times i almost threw my phone across the room just to get a breather... honestly when they were back in the club and mingi just blurted "use me" i literally LOST. IT. the tension was through the roof!!! i was legit kicking my feet because i was just going insane. and what followed was just to die forrrrrr everything was perfecttttt princess mingi is the absolute best!!!!!!!

and that cliffhanger girl we live in a world where we need part 2 of this masterpiece. like im really NOT the romantic type at all but you got me so in my feels so much that i crave a good ending. like i loved so much peeking throught the cracks of oc's thick armour. mingi def has the power to get her to bring her guard down. of course as an author myself there absolutely no pressure! creative process cant be forced but just know if this happen ill be there literally barking lol

okay so thats all thanks so much for this amazing ff ! sorry for the typos im legit just typing and not thinking

Hello there! Am I tearing up? Why yes I am ;~; This really is leaving me speechless. To borrow Shakespeare's words from Twelfth Night: “I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks.”

I am reading and rereading your comments and it honestly feels surreal. I so deeply appreciate what you have written and what your thoughts are about 'Use Me', and before I go and sob a lil bit from the sheer glee and how overwhelmed I am (in the best sense ever), let me try my best to answer you <3

As someone who adores literature in all of its forms, I am beyond honoured that you feel this is the type of work that should be published. Really, I have no words other than the fact that I am blown away and am so grateful.

About the OC, what you wrote about the feeling of depth and of connection with the character is so unbelievably meaningful to me. I greatly enjoy work that delves into exploring the psyche and the emotional landscape of personas, and attempt to learn bit by bit about how to incorporate that; proper character development, as well as having good pacing are both major goals for me, so I… quite literally… shouted into the horizon when I read your kind words about that. I am sitting here beaming at the screen <3 (because I am held hostage by your ask I literally want to print it out and hug it and am giving you a virtual hug right now)

As the song goes: THANXX (and gracias, and all translations of it)!!!!! Ahah yep indeed it was and I am seriously really honoured that the tension and the flow of the scenes were that kind of an experience <3 (and princess mingi for the win ;))

This is the highest form of praise, right here, and okay you know how I said 'tearing up' yeah I am fully boarding the feels train, you say you are in the feels? Okay what is your seat I am about to be in the carriage thank you so much!!!! ;~; Really grateful for your understanding nature and for your kindheartedness and for the time that you took to read and to share your thoughts with me and really… I think… a part 2 could very much be a (high) possibility now ;) as you say, it may take a little longer, but I would love to dive in deeper, and see how the relationship in 'Use Me' will be changing, how the past can haunt just about anyone, and if, given time and effort, people can heal, and learn to both love and live.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you so much for your words, the inspiration and motivation. Much love, big hugs and wishing you all the very best and more <3

[homo-house]

seeing some usamerican election discourse in the tl but i don't want to interact directly with it so i will just say here as an outsider that you guys will never get anywhere near real progress before you get rid of that absolutely ridiculous two party system. i am saying this genuinely and not trying to take the piss or anything. most election systems around the world are broken but damn if the USA's isn't one of the worst. this maybe is common sense but i wanted to elaborate on why i think it is beyond repair and needs at the very least a reform or to be revolutionized

the basic premise of a state is that different sectors of society with differing or competing interests have a mediator (not necessarily a single person) and in modern societies usually the 'mediator' spot is disputed by different classes trying to elect their respective representatives, and we find this nice because we think it's nice to have the ability to be represented by someone in a position of power (the state is really centralized, articulated power). but that goes down the drain when the mechanics of the state itself make it so that certain parts of society cannot dispute for positions within the state, can't elect people who really represent them.

as it is what you have is a state that essentially is built so that only the elite can take part in it, and then there is a slight divide among that elite that they infight about and sell that fight as something everyone else should care about, while what people actually care about is not any of the things they propose. if the only two parties you can vote for want to continue going to war while the people want nothing to do with war and it is near impossible to elect someone from a different party or independent, how is that representative democracy? note that i am saying elect and not vote. the whole thing is built so that you can vote for anyone you want, but you cannot elect anyone you want - the ones who can possibly get elected and stay in office are predetermined because of how the system is built, and it has been shaped over the years so that the group of people who already in power can continue there, essentially alienating itself from society, and those who were there when this alienation begun (maybe it even begun from day one, maybe sometime later) were people with some kind of power already (that's what made it easy for them to get there in the first place)

i think this segment of david harvey's (bear with me i know not everyone likes him) "the marxian theory of the state" puts it best:

(his sources are all in full in the linked file, it's free to access)

the state is a machine, a huge, well articulated, valuable instrument capable of making life better or of destroying it. maybe it was built with good intention, so that people could elect the ones who control the machine, but over the years, the people who got inside installed mechanisms inside the control room so that it is literally gatekept, locked with a heavy mechanical steel door which only opens from the inside, and since that was done, no one has been able to make burst through yet.

the way i see it, there are only three ways to get the machine to stop killing and be used for good: 1. destroy the machine and build it anew (difficult, and you will lose almost all it currently offers); 2. use brute force and burst through the door (you need absurd amounts of force to do that) 3. find a way to disable the mechanism holding the door closed and get fucking rid of it (essentially, hijacking, which requires a very good plan- and someone who manages to access it)

anyways thanks if you read this all the way. i know it's kinda weird for me as a brazilian to be talking about this but as a geography major and the nosiest person alive i have a lot of Thoughts and my friends are tired of me rambling already

[slowpoke-fics]

Scent | Mate Series

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek x Y/N

Summary: Derek is getting suspicious of you, you're hiding something and he wants to know what

Warnings: not really I think but just in case, as always, read at your own risk

A/N: This is Part One | Next Part

This whole thing is a whole family pack au and mate au, OC stuff in later chapters but I really loved writing this and love the idea of a family pack <3

You walked into Scott’s house, happily smiling at everyone gathered around the table, noticing that even Derek had showed this time. The wolves seemed to carry on about their business as you muttered something about dinner and moved to the kitchen. “I don’t like that ya know?” You jumped a little, turning to Derek and smiling in confusion. He sniffed the air, “All I can smell is your strawberry shortcake lotion. You use too much.” You scoffed, turning to the food, “I don’t care, go smell someone else.” He shook his head, “Why? I don’t like not being able to smell you.” You looked at him, eyebrows raised, "Derek, I know what you wolves do, it's a violation of privacy, I like my emotions being mine." Derek huffed under his breath, "Just trying to care." He turned and walked out of the kitchen.

You couldn't help but wonder if you'd been excessively hateful, but you were right. You knew better than anyone, wolves violate your privacy whenever they can by just smelling you, let alone with serious practice what they can do. You could never keep a secret around a pack of wolves, and living in Beacon Hills with the extra wolf sense going around is no different. It's better to just hide your scent all together. You of course knew how to do this very well without the nifty supernatural trick; putting lotion over your scent glands regularly, wearing tight clothes, and lots of deodorant. You sighed to yourself as you thought of how different it could be if you could come clean.

Derek hung back after the meeting, watching as you waved everyone goodbye, claiming he was cleanup help since you cooked. "What's up Derek?" Scott said once the door shut. "Y/n," Derek started, turning to Scott, hand rubbing his scruff nervously, "has she always covered her scent like that?" Scott's eyebrows furrowed, "Now that I think about it, yeah, why?" Derek shrugged, acting like it was no big deal but wanted to put the fuze out before it went to far, "Dunno, she's just the only one that does it, even Lydia with the amount of crap she wears, I can smell her," he sighed, "it's like Y/n is hiding something man, I've just never once smelled her." Derek shook his head, "I mean, it's never bothered you? Not being able to smell her?"

Scott could sense something he hadn't ever before with Derek, a sense of need, like when Stiles called to him when he almost lit himself on fire. "She just wants her privacy, she knows we can smell fear, anxiety, joy, embarrassment," he slapped Dereks shoulder, "relax man, are you really worried Y/n is out to get you?" Dereks hands fell next to him, "Something like that." Derek said his goodbyes to Scott and happily Stiles, as over the years he's grown to love the wild man, and left wondering about you.

At the next pack meeting, this time in his loft, you were the last one in again. As everyone was catching up and cutting up, Derek found his way beside you, "I don't like that one, it smells sour, what is it?" You blushed just slightly, "I don't know some cucumber mix." Derek huffed, "If all I can smell is fake shit, at least something good, citrus, sweet or somethin'," he shrugged as he made his way to the table.

You'd all been discussing new training for the supernatural creatures drawn in by the Nemeton and handling the strays that don't fall in line with the help of the argents. Derek was next to you, something you knew was no coincidence as he'd swapped places with Scott at some point. He reached over to the map in front of you, trying to rub just your shirt, but you slyly moved your arm, muttering an apology, "Oh, sorry," but Derek didn't miss the extra heartbeat, even if just for a second. What is going on with you?

A few days later you find yourself climbing in the passenger of Stiles' jeep, just leaving your house after reapplying lotion, knowing that you were going to Dereks' for pack training. "Scott needed a ride today, that okay?" Stiles quizzed you, studying you as you answered with a hum. "Everything alright?" he reiterated, turning the music up. You shrugged, "I just have a feeling something is going on." Stiles gave you a sympathetic smile as he pulled up to Scott's.

Scott climbed in Stiles' back seat, glancing at you, consciously aware that you only smelled like mixed berry lotion, smiling, "Hey, Y/n, how was your day?" You shrugged, "The usual, excited for some pack time." Scott listened to your steady beat, kicking himself for even listening. The ride to Dereks normal while you intently listened to Stiles ramble. It was impossible not to notice that something was bothering Scott, you just hoped it wasn't you.

Scott was the first to knock on the door, Stiles following impatiently while you stood behind the two men. Derek slid the door open, looking over the two men and directly smiling at you, welcoming you all in. You followed closely in behind Stiles, narrowly missing Derek. You sense him reaching forward, out for the small of your back, you quickly stepped out of the way and to the kitchen, hoping your heartbeat was steady. "So what am I making?"

You worked on finishing up the tacos, careful to clean up any mess you made and wash the used pans. You had Liam lay out the table who was cooling off from a tough session with Isaac. He was really slinging the plates down, you put your hand just inches from his, stopping him from laying another plate down, "Liam," his eyes connected with yours, "listen to my heart, get yours to match it." Liam shook his head, starting to lay another plate down, clearly frustrated, but you spoke again, "Liam," you sighed, "it is okay to lose control and get angry, but get it back. Take a breath, control your heart rate, ground yourself." Liam took a deep breath in as you guided him, smiling at you before gently setting the plates down. You could feel the anger dissipating from him as he did.

"Thank you for helping," you muttered as you rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, making sure your sleeve covers your bare hand, smiling at him, "I'm gonna go get them." You walked into the training room, sweat and power smacking you in the face, "Dinner's ready!" Scott and Derek let go of each other, playfully draping their arms around each other, "You wanna spar, Y/n?" Derek asked and you laughed, a sound that blessed his ears, "Uh, no thank you, I'll leave that to the big bad wolves." Scott smiled, "Come on! Even Stiles trains!" Stiles jumps at this, pointing to Scott, "Hey!" Causing everyone to erupt into laughter, you smiled, "Who else is gonna cook?" At that Stiles interjected again, heading to the meal, "Not it!"

After you all ate you helped Liam collect and wash dishes, Derek watching you dodge every corner of the tablecloth, studied your moments as you put up pates, careful to not touch them with your bare hands. He thought to himself as he watched you that he was reading way too much into it. That you were just a private polite person, but something was rubbing him the wrong way, something he was missing. As you put away the last dish, Stiles stood up, smiling, "Bye, sour wolf." Derek glared at him but turned to you who was side by side with Stiles, your arm around his waist, also heading out, "See you later, sour wolf."

Scott trailed behind, making sure you and Stiles were out of earshot. "Man, what is your problem I can literally see the fury coming off of you." Derek glared at Scott, "Y/n, she just-" Scott rolled his eyes, "You can't be serious, not with this again." Derek rubbed his face, "Man, I'm telling you," he shook his head, clearly troubled, "She won't let me touch her! At all, I'm talking not even an accidental brush," Derek spoke lower, "She wouldn't train because that causes sweat, we could smell her, won't even touch the tablecloth. She washes every dish she uses, won't touch the plates with her bare hands? The plates?" Scott could tell Derek was genuinely upset by this, "Why does this bother you so much man?" Derek sighed, "I don't know," he drug broth his hands over his face, an attempt to rub the stress away, "I don't think she'd hurt us of course, but she's definitely- Scott, there's too many questions I need answered." Scott sighed, "Okay, if it means that much to you, I'll look into it." Scott started walking and that's when you snapped back into Stiles honking the horn of the car, you giggling with him as Scott came rushing out.

How much longer could you hide your secret?

[dottiechan]

ICEBREAKER Pt. 1

Read on AO3 (link in bio)

Part 1 | Part 2&3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader x Hunter; Tech x Reader (platonic)

Wordcount: 2389

Summary: Tech watches on helplessly as his brothers' affection for you threaten to ruin the squad.

Warnings: cursing, yearning

You’re just as cold on the inside as the ice is under your boots. It crunches with every step you take, and your heart seems to beat along with the fall of your boots, aching. You feel unsteady, almost enough to miss the tracks running in the snow right in front of you. You pause and crutch down, gloved fingers dipping into the indentations as you grumble to yourself. It’s not even your turn to scope out the area where you’re setting up camp, and besides, there is a literal tracking genius in your squad - it really shouldn’t be you who’s out here in the snow and ice, eyes straining against the blinding white of the planet, fingers freezing off as you set up perimeter alarms. And yet you just volunteered for the less than ideal task without explanation, not understanding your own decision either.

At least Tech offered to tag along, but you suspect he’s simply had enough of his brothers for a while. Not that you can blame him.

“Fascinating.”

You sigh, internally begging him to stop talking as you stand, abandoning the tracks after deciding they most likely belong to a lone whitefang. You have enough on your plate right now, with Hunter still being pissy and Crosshair avoiding you like the plague, and silence would be much more preferable right now to listening to one of Tech’s rambles.

“Did you know that this moon’s surface is almost entirely composed of water?”

“No.”

“Despite the subzero surface temperature, there are subsurface oceans underneath the ice that are warmed by the moon’s internal heat.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I wish we could stay long enough for me to study the subsurface flora and fauna. There might be plants underneath the ice that-”

“Tech.”

“-that use chemosynthesis-”

“Tech!”

“What?”

He has the decency to look flustered, one hand gripping the datapad tightly, the other flying up to adjust his goggles as he peers up at you. You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but sometimes you just can’t help it. Sometimes, the confinement of the Marauder is enough to turn you into a ticking time bomb, irritated by the slightest seemingly innocent things. And you’ve had more than just mere sparks to flare your temper as of late.

...

His rifle is spotless, and yet he’s still scrubbing it as if his life depended on it.

Maybe it does, because if he jumps up and lowers his guard for a second, he’s out the ship and off to find you and Tech. Maybe you’re a fool sometimes, a god damn nuisance, a person he still couldn’t grow used to, but you belong with them now, you’re theirs, you’re his, and that means something to him. You frustrate him beyond reason, and he often grows callous and agitated because he refuses to allow himself to feel the emotions you elicit from him whenever you’re near him.

Even now, on an ice planet, the mere thought of you infects him with a sweet, sweet jungle fever that knocks him off his feet.

And he’s supposed to be angry now, Crosshair reminds himself. After all, you almost gotten yourself killed on Bracca, and almost broke him in the process.

“They’ve been gone for too long,” Hunter grumbles as he paces up and down like a caged nexu craving to run free. But lately Crosshair began to suspect that he craves something else, someone else, and the thought has his throat tightening in jealousy. He’s been watching, and he convinced himself that he’d misread the signs until he saw the same agitation reflect in his brother’s eyes that he himself has to wrestle with every day.

If it ever came down to your choice, he knows he wouldn’t be it, and he hates living with this knowledge.

Hunter has all the things you seem to like - unlimited kindness, longing looks, smirks that turn a little too soft when directed at you, broad shoulders he caught you staring at more times than he can count. Deep down, he’s still hoping it will never come to you having to choose, but it’s impossible not to wish to be in the centre of your attention. You drive him insane, but you also make him want to commit and stop fighting and lay down his weapons for once in his god damn life.

“Relax. They’re probably fine.”

The screen to their left lights up, and Hunter rushes across the ship in long strides before exhaling in relief. “The proximity alarms are online. They should be heading back soon.”

Crosshair sucks in a breath, worried about seeing his own emotions sitting behind Hunter’s eyes as well.

...

You were assigned to assist the Bad Batch for an unspecified period of time some months ago. You’re a versatile field agent, specialising in both stealth and combat casualty care, one of the few volunteers who were qualified enough to join the GAR. Oh, and you’re also clearly mistrusted by your new squad as they flip out the very moment you risk yourself in the line of duty. You’re not stupid, you weighed the risks carefully, and you trusted your abilities to see you through the job unharmed.

But ever since the incident on Bracca, you’re given the cold shoulder by most on the squad, and for once, the scenery matches your mood.

And yet Tech deserves better than to be cut off like that. He deserves to be listened to, and appreciated as the good man he is. You’re friends, but in moments like these, you think you don’t deserve his friendship.

“Look, I’m... I’m sorry, okay? But right now, I have too much on my mind to think about, umm, chemo...”

“Chemosynthesis?”

“Yeah, that.”

“I think I understand,” he nods, satisfied with your half-assed apology for the time being as he goes back to scanning the vast icy desert stretching as far as the eye can see. The Marauder’s lights blink in the background, orange against the dark blue of the growing darkness that surrounds you. It’s like a beacon, a sign that promises warmth, and you gaze at it longingly until you remember that you’ll have to go back to Crosshair’s scowl and Hunter’s disapproving frown and Wrecker’s awkward little smiles. Somehow, the ice is preferable once more, and the snow that just began to fall in soft flakes is little more than a mild annoyance.

“Well, aside from a few distant life forms-”

“Whitefangs.”

“Yes, most likely whitefangs - aside from those, we should be quite safe inside the ship for tonight.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “You might be. I’m not the most popular with the squad right now, remember?”

“You are a valued addition,” Tech declares, and the certainty in his voice releases inside you the emotional equivalent of a sucker punch. All you can do is stand, and fight the sting of tears in your eyes. You’re confident, but you never in your wildest dreams imagined how difficult it would be to live up to the expectations of a special unit. You also know your worth, but it’s hard to keep on believing in yourself steadfastly when the rest of your squad doubts your every move. “Which is why the prospect of losing you elicits a rather severe emotional reaction in us. It is rare for regs to warm up to us as well as you have, let alone volunteers. Aside from the obvious tactical disadvantage losing you would mean, I believe it is a little more personal than that.”

...

Hunter knows something is off even before one of the alarms is triggered - whatever it is, it is within five clicks of the ship, making you and Tech plenty exposed before he could do anything. He was straining his ear simply to keep you all safe - so what if he accidentally heard your muffled voice, or the soft crunch of snow underneath your boots?

But now is not the time to be idle, and he knows it. He would never forgive himself if something happened to his squad. And to you, he corrects himself almost softly as he grabs his helmet and checks his weapons quickly. Despite the fact that he’s still angry about your previous carelessness, he cannot deny the forbidden yearning coiling in his stomach whenever you’re on his mind, making him just as nervous as hopeful. And to be fair, it happens more and more often as of late, which is both alarming and exciting as he never thought he’d ever have the luxury to feel this way about someone else. Sure, he knows love, he loves his brothers with all his heart even if he isn’t very vocal about it, but this is different. New, scary, exciting different, an effervescent and persevering tingling blinding all his senses.

Crosshair is beside him in less than a second, rifle in hand, silent, and they share a nod before lowering the ramp and rushing out into the freezing dusk.

When he picks up on your muffled voice, he seems to ignore everything as he breaks into a sprint towards you, hoping to reach you in time before you’re in danger. He almost misses the way Crosshair’s heartbeat picks up, the usually stoic man reeking with genuine worry as he looks through the scope of his rifle.

He can deal with this later, Hunter promises himself as he pushes down this uncomfortable feeling. But then he sees you and Tech, and he seems to forget about anything and everything - you have that unfortunate and awfully distracting effect on him.

...

“But Hunter yelled at me for being reckless for a solid hour. And Crosshair said he didn’t care if I wanted to get myself killed, but I should do it in a way that didn’t interfere with the mission. Seriously, what an asshole.”

“Nevermind what they actually say,” Tech waves his hand in mild annoyance. “Hunter was worried sick. Crosshair almost went after you. And they’re both too pigheaded to admit the real reason why they’re so worked up.”

“Which is?”

“Obviously they both view you as a potential romantic partner.”

There’s a moment of pause as you two stare back at one another before you snort and chuckle, shaking your head and crossing your arms over your chest as a futile attempt at staying warm. “Tech, you need to work on your sense of humour.”

“And you need to work on your observational skills and situational awareness.”

“My observational skills are exceptional,” you defend yourself, a finger held up in the air defiantly. “And my situational awareness is-”

“Lacking, as you didn’t seem to notice the whitefang return. I suggest we head back to the safety of the Marauder.”

Sure enough, the wild cat is there lurking amongst the ice dunes, its eyes glowing in the dark as they reflect the light of the ship. It shouldn’t pose a threat to you as it is alone, and relatively small, but you still consider wrestling with it instead of returning to the ship and facing the rest of the squad - somehow, even that feels like a fight more fair than the ones that await you upon your return. So you hold its gaze as it curiously inspects you, wishing to swap bodies and run away and avoid any more conflict. Before you can even think of returning to the ship, you hear quiet footsteps catching up to you.

“I thought I heard something.”

“It’s probably more curious than anything.”

Hunter unsheaths his vibroblade and twirls it in his hand so theatrically it makes you roll your eyes. He glances at you, shoulders all tense, ready to pounce at the slightest sign of danger, and even though his face is obscured by his helmet, you can almost see the disappointed frown sitting on his features. “You want to test that theory?”

“My money would be on the whitefang winning.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tech.”

“Any time.”

“Relax.” The distorted rasp of your commlink is not enough to drown out the smugness of the sniper. The stand-off ends when a single well-placed shot right before the big cat sends it sprinting away into the darkness. You all turn to find Crosshair standing by the ship, his rifle still aimed at the retreating form of the whitefang.

“Well, there goes my opportunity to finally have an interesting patrol,” you mutter to yourself as you all make it back to the Marauder.

“Do all of your patrols end in you staring down carnivores?” Crosshair snorts, clearly unamused.

“Only the good ones,” you fire back, deciding not to wait for any of them as you head inside. Crosshair is hot on your heels, another string of mockery sitting on the tip of his tongue, because fuck, you’re stubborn, but he’s not going to cave in and tell you how it makes him feel to see you in danger. He can’t, however, put up with being away from you either.

Hunter lingers a little outside. He has to set himself straight, to contain all the things he wants to say you that have nothing to do with scolding you about Bracca, to kill all the feelings that suddenly demand to be felt so desperately. He clenches and unclenches his fists by his side, pretending to survey the surroundings of the Marauder. Tech moves in the periphery of his vision, but instead of following you and Crosshair, he steps closer to Hunter.

“I believe the threat’s been averted.”

“Yeah. Good job on setting up those alarms, Tech.”

“No problem. Is there anything else you need?”

“No. You should head back inside. The last thing I want is for you to keel over with hypothermia.”

“That’s not how hypothermia works,” Tech mutters, his voice trailing off, eyes uncertain behind his goggles. He suddenly places a gentle hand on Hunter’s shoulder, making the sergeant glance at him.

“Hunter, I’m only asking this because I care about you all, but... how long do you think this can go on before one of you gets hurt?”

Tech’s words echo in his mind long after he’s rejoined the squad on the ship. And Hunter just stands outside in the snowfall, watching the last rays of light disappear on the horizon, wondering which one of you he’ll have to hurt when the push comes to shove.

[thefirstknife]

SIGH

Myelin released a video today arguing that Osiris is already dead. I disagree with most of his arguments and also am not a fan of some of them in particular and I want to address this in case people watch and are confused. And I assume people will ask questions about it. I think Myelin himself is also confused about certain things he mentioned and isn't interpreting them properly.

Disclaimer: obviously I am biased when it comes to this. I want Osiris to not die. This isn't an attempt to entirely disprove the theory that he may be dead already. Ultimately I don't know if he's dead. I'll do my best to look at it objectively and also address Myelin's points objectively.

I'll try to summarise Myelin's points and address them but you can always watch his video yourself to make sure I didn't interpret him wrong.

Now, Myelin's main point is that Osiris was possessed by Savathun instead of Savathun making a meat puppet/clone in his image or simply shapeshifting into him. His first proof is the Wolftone Draw bow lore. We've all read the lore and Myelin also reads the lore.

First, he wonders how Osiris is seeing what Savathun is doing. Obviously, we have no answer for this yet. Myelin's position is that this is proof of him being possessed and him trying to break through the possession. He also says that some of it seems like "Osiris views his own body in a third perspective." Which I agree with!

What I disagree with is Myelin saying this could mean Osiris' "physical body was destroyed" and that he may be floating around in some form similar to Toland. I'm not sure why complicate the matter in this way when the most obvious answer to this is simply that Savathun has created a clone or shapeshifted into a form of Osiris and the real Osiris is trapped somewhere. The lore seems to indicate this pretty clearly to me:

I cannot speak, cannot breathe, I reach for Sagira but then I remember… I form a fist but feel nothing, I am bound, and as I thrash the images cut fissures through my mind—

And:

She has stolen my form, my voice, but someone will see my failure and cast her out… they MUST—

These seem to me like he is somewhere and he is seeing through his clone's eyes at certain points. It would fit Savathun's MO to torture him in this way. She assumed his form and the real him is bound elsewhere, somewhere safe. I've said so before, and it turned out to be true: Savathun is using Osiris as a bargaining chip so possessing him would be much riskier to her plan than simply keeping him imprisoned somewhere where we can't get to him and where he can't break free from possession. It would make no sense for her to kill him.

As for how he's seeing things if he's not possessed: Savathun is THE Witch Queen. She has exhibited a wide array of magical and paracausal abilities, including the ability to shapeshift and watch others through objects and living beings. Osiris specifically says that he is "bound" and that the images of what she's doing "cut fissures through his mind" and that he's "thrashing," as well as asserting that Savathun "has stolen his form." If he's bound somewhere in her throne world, she may very well be using some sort of Hive magic to inflict images she wants him to see upon him. Just enough to allow him to know that he is a prisoner.

I'm not sure why Myelin only makes two positions: either he's in third perspective without a body like Toland OR he's possessed. The third option is right there: Savathun assumed his likeness.

That brings both Myelin and me to his next point which he positions as the "real turning point" for him. It's from the Chrysura Melo autorifle:

Savathûn, physical form a twisting instar, emerges from the shadows and crawls over the shattered pieces of the Ghost. She reaches toward the ruined man.

Myelin focuses on the bold part, a specific word: "instar." This is a nice catch btw, something I haven't noticed before. He describes what an "instar" is. Tw bugs for that link, but an instar is "a developmental stage of arthropods, such as insects, between each moult (ecdysis), until sexual maturity is reached." Savathun's physical form is described as a twisting instar at this point and Myelin says that she is in the stage of changing herself into a new form. He also says that in this form she "needs a new skin" and therefore steals the skin of Osiris aka possesses him.

But from all the googling and research I've done, I can't seem to find any examples of insect instars needing to acquire a new outside source to change their forms. They simply exist in one larval form (instar) and then change into another as they outgrow the previous one. They don't have to find another body or a host to inhabit.

Seeing as Myelin bases most of his theory on this specific word, I have to challenge that because this is simply not what that word means. Savathun, in the process of changing from one instar to another, doesn't have to possess Osiris. She simply has to change her form from one instar into another. It's still her and it's more likely that she looks to the real Osiris to use him as a model for what new form she will take.

This is why the Chrysura Melo lore page is describing "Osiris" as being uncertain on his legs and confused by human behaviours and slowly falling apart over months and months of existence: this is Savathun's instar in the shape of Osiris which is reaching the end of its lifespan and at the end of that lifespan, Savathun has to shed that instar and turn into another. Generally, moths have a few instar forms before turning into a cocoon and then later emerging out as moths. This is a nice page with pictures, but again, tw for bugs. She has clearly reached the end of her Osiris-instar and shed it away when Mara trapped her in a chrysalis cocoon where Savathun is continuing to grow, like a moth, to eventually assume the form we see in The Witch Queen. Some examples that, to me, allude to Savathun existing in a Osiris-instar and how that shape is unfamiliar to her:

Osiris takes a shaky step forward.

...

He passes the bottle, and Osiris, hands numb, puzzles at it. His mouth hangs in a half-smile before he takes a long drink, slaking a bone-deep thirst.

...

When Saint places a hand on his forearm, Osiris holds impossibly still just to see what the other man will do.

...

Osiris stumbles as he walks through the Last City.

Savathun is describing her life as Osiris and it's clear, from this and other huge amount of lore, that she was very unfamiliar with the human form and that, at the end, it started falling apart on its own. Which is what would happen to a instar of an insect, forcing it to switch into a new stage. In Ripe, she also specifically states "I am ready earlier than anticipated." In the same lore page, she also mentions a lot of really weird descriptions of how her "form" is dissolving essentially and "I clench the gangling black mass that threatens to unspool recklessly from within this shell of flesh. My new arms are too thin, too weak. My new shell still bound with thick mucus." She's barely holding it together. I'm not sure why Osiris' real human body would've been doing this.

There's another aspect from Ripe and that is that she mentions her worm inside of her:

I feel this form splitting beneath its wrappings, held together weakly by wet strands of sinew. And from deep inside, stirred by that latest scrap of deception, I hear the oily growl of the Worm.

This is how we know that her Osiris-form is her. Otherwise, Osiris' real body would've been possessed by Savathun who also holds her worm and that's more than convoluted. What we're looking at, presumably, is Savathun's instar which always has a worm at the center and evolves into other forms around the worm itself.

I'm sorry if this is rambly, but I just really can't see how possession would be possible, especially when based on insect morphology. As a last addition to the whole "instar" business which seems to be the center of Myelin's theory, I want to take a look at the word itself. It's a Latin word, and well... :

īnstar n sg (indeclinable, no genitive)

image, likeness, resemblance

counterpart

worth, value

an equal form (of)

of equal weight/size/form (to)

By the Traveler this can't be happening. Once again I am caught in the euphoria of analysing Latin words being used in Destiny. By all definitions, except maybe number 3, this alludes to a clone. An image of something. Resembling something. A likeness. Counterpart. An equal form of...

Savathun's insect-instar form fashioned in the likeness of Osiris. Not Savathun infecting Osiris: Savathun morphing herself into a counterpart of his form.

With that whole thing done, Myelin focuses on the infamous sidearm Spoiler Alert. It has a description which is just: "Someone is going to die." Myelin uses this as proof that, well, someone is going to die because the last time this gun was issued, Cayde died.

The problem here, even if we're taking this as a serious lore hint, is the timeline. Originally, Spoiler Alert was issued in Warmind. Cayde-6 died in the expansion after Warmind.

Spoiler Alert being issued in Season of the Lost would then be an equivalent of telling us someone is going to die in The Witch Queen expansion.

What does that have to do with Osiris? The position Myelin takes in this whole video is that Osiris is already dead. Not that he will die in The Witch Queen: that he has already died, perhaps at the start of this season when Savathun transformed off-screen OR even further back, at the end of Immolant, when she possessed him. This makes no sense with his other position, that Osiris is observing what Savathun is doing: how, if he's dead and why would we even get this lore if he's dead?

Most of all, Spoiler Alert, if it's alluding to a future death of a major character, cannot allude to Osiris having died before the gun was re-issued OR to him dying literally on the day the gun was re-issued. What kind of a warning is that? If they really wanted to allude to Osiris dying with this gun, the gun would've had to have been re-issued in Season of the Splicer as the final possible season to "warn us."

If Spoiler Alert is telling us some important character will really die, it's telling us this will happen in The Witch Queen. I can't imagine a situation where we save Osiris in this season and then he dies in the next expansion. Kinda pointless plotline. And it also does not fit with the rest of the video which is telling us that Osiris is already dead and Savathun is bluffing about having him as a bargaining chip. I am also not in favour of the theory that we will not find the real Osiris this season and that this plotline will stretch into The Witch Queen because that would be almost a year of grappling with the same plot of "we have to find Osiris." So whatever happens to Osiris, we will know this season. Which means the Spoiler Alert gun is of no relevance to the outcome of the Osiris plot.

The next point Myelin makes is the cutscene from week 1 of Savathun talking to us. He focuses on the image of Osiris looking kinda dead, with moths flying around him and one moth coming out of his mouth. This image is a better argument than any of the above because the imagery here is very clear. No room to misinterpret this really, we literally see Osiris being half-skeletal with a moth coming from his mouth.

However, if we take the position that Savathun made a clone, then the "dead" Osiris in this image is just that clone being dead after it fell apart and Savathun had to transform. The moth coming out of his mouth is probably what this is supposed to symbolise: Savathun outgrowing her Osiris-instar and assuming a new form, currently cocooned in Mara's chambers.

Not to mention that she literally says she "assumed his shape." Not "took his body." She "assumed his shape" to be "more pleasing to our eyes" so she could "guide our victory" against Xivu Arath. Obviously she couldn't guide us if she looked like the Hive. Instead, she morphed into a shape that looks like Osiris and kept him to herself, possibly for information as well as a bargaining chip.

The next part is something I heavily dislike as a point from Myelin.

He starts by saying how there's a trope in movies where you get attached to a character and you just have a feeling that something bad is going to happen to them because the narrative is making you form a bond with that character. And at first I thought he'll say that the narrative has been doing this with Osiris, which is WEIRD, due to how generally disliked he is in the fandom, mostly due to people misunderstanding him, but also due to other reasons which have resurfaced ever since he's been officially confirmed as a gay man in a relationship with Saint.

And of course, Myelin is not talking about Osiris at all. He's talking about Saint. He's saying that the narrative made us attached to Saint and that "they are setting up Saint-14 to lose Osiris." This is aggravating in several ways.

One, that trope about being attached to a character is generally about the character that is going to die. Bungie didn't make us get attached to Cayde so they can kill off Ikora. They made us attached to Cayde and then killed off Cayde. Making us attached to Saint-14 to kill off Osiris is completely disregarding Osiris as a character in his own right and Osiris is by far THE most powerful and important Guardian that has ever lived. To boil him down to an accessory of Saint's story is not just disrespectful to Osiris, it's just utterly wrong.

And second, essentially fridging Osiris for Saint's manpain is just homophobia. As far as I know, Myelin is not a gay man so him making this point is simply homophobic. We do not need Osiris to die to see Saint's pain and drive for vengeance against Savathun. Bungie has made that clear. It's actually never been clearer just how much Saint suffers right now, in how much pain he is and how angry he is.

It's been shown in the voice lines in the main quest, in the cutscene at the start of the season, in the week 2 radio transmission, in voice lines during various activities, in voice lines from other people talking about him (most notably Ikora saying he's "tearing up the system to find real Osiris") and in various lore tabs. We truly do NOT need more affirmation to how much Saint is suffering. We surely don't need to ramp up the angst by killing Osiris off in order to send Saint into a more of a frenzy. His frenzy is already known and already underway. The man has tried breaking into Savathun's chamber to kick her ass already. He is "tearing the system apart." He is broadcasting live. He went on a mission with Mithrax to find Sagira's remains and the most likely place where Osiris went missing. The man is already on a crusade.

I don't think he needs to learn that Osiris has died somewhere, alone, months ago in order for us to see his pain. Or to cause more pain to us, the players. It's simply a completely insensitive way of looking at a story of two gay men who have been through enough suffering already.

I know people dislike and misunderstand Osiris. I know people absolutely adore Saint. I know people would get a kick out of seeing Saint going feral instead of him behaving in a very trope-shattering way by plugging holes in the Wall and feeding pigeons and singing songs to the children of the City.

I think those people don't understand Saint nor do they appreciate him as he is. They certainly have no respect for the man he loves or for their relationship that transcends time, space and reality. And if Saint knew that, he would definitely go feral on their ass first and foremost.

I'd like to think that Season of the Lost is a direct mirror of Season of Dawn. Two very important turning points in Destiny's story that are led by an undying love between Osiris and Saint-14. Just as Osiris risked it all and we all supported him in getting Saint back, right now we are all supporting Saint and risking it all to get Osiris back.

And as an important note, the story so far has been very clear to explain to us that we're looking for "the real Osiris." This is what this whole season is based on. We want real Osiris back. This alone disproves the theory of possession, but it also highlights that this season is about saving someone we've lost. Ending the season that's based on trying to find Osiris by telling us "oh he's dead" seems to be very much narratively senseless.

Speaking of narratively senseless, Osiris' death would not make sense yet. His arc isn't over. His questions and plotlines aren't over (and he has raised many of them in Immolant, which hasn't been followed up on because he got kidnapped). And speaking of Immolant, there is the following, from Sagira:

"Shut up! Listen to my words!" Her iris is bright with Light. "There are great things still left for you; don't lose hope in the darkness." She is luminant.

Osiris breathes the word, as if he could hold it back: "No." He would understand in time. She had seen it.

This seems like a pretty strong implication that his story is far from over. It would be quite a bummer if this was completely ignored and we're delivered Osiris' dead body at some point during this season.

Of course, I'm not discouting the possibility that Osiris will never be the same after this. It's likely that there will be lasting consequences if he's alive.

I am also not discounting the possibility that Osiris may as well be dead. I want to make that clear. It's possible. But I did my best to make a somewhat coherent analysis of why that is probably not the case and why Myelin's position in particular is flawed. And as I said at the start, I definitely am biased in a way that makes me hope that Osiris is not dead. I fully understand that and would not be opposed to people pointing out flaws in my argument if there are any. I am, genuinely, trying to be as objective as possible with this though, but as always, I could end up being wrong in the end.

And that is my TED talk.

[peachbear88]

Unrequited Love (Pt 3)

A/N: Last part. I think. Yeah. WEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Sorry ending was a bit rushed

------------

"I need to talk to you."

You and Nat look up to see Wanda, fidgeting nervously. Nat's eyebrows narrow as you gulp, nodding you consent to Wanda.

"I'll be back in a second." You tell Nat as Wanda drags you off, her fingers entwined with yours.

-----------

Your back hits the wall of cool metal lockers, knocking the wind out of you as arms go up on either side of you.

"W-Wanda, what are you doing?" You stutter, your breath hitching as her face inches closer. She ignores your question, her nose practically touching yours.

"What do you think I'm doing? Same reason as why I invited you over to my house." She arches an eyebrow, her breath tickling your neck.

"For h-help? You need help?" You ask weakly and she sighs, mentally facepalming.

"No, Y/N, I'm a straight A student, I never needed help." She leans impossibly closer and you gulp, the smell of cinnamon and cranberries infiltrating your senses. "I just wanted to be with you." She leans in, kissing you passionately, her tongue exploring your mouth. You sigh, melting slightly before pulling away.

"No. You can't do this. You have Vision and oh god, Vision..." You gasp, remembering Nat's warning from the other day. "If he finds out, he'll kill me." Wanda watches you pace back and forth frantically. "Oh jeez- I gotta go." You mutter, making your way towards the door but Wanda catches your wrist.

"I know you like me too." You freeze, your heart stopping. You gently pry her fingers off your wrist before exiting the locker room.

-------------

"What did Wanda want?"

You stiffen but Nat doesn't seem to notice.

"Oh. uh, she just wanted to ask about some homework stuff." Nat snorts but leaves it at that, not pushing you further. The two of you arrive at the lockers, ready to go home and pass out. Visions of Wanda pushing you up against the lockers flash inside your head but you shove them away, opening your locker as another rose falls out. Nat snatches it away as you lunge for it.

"Seriously? Another one? This person must be a serial rose killer." Nat jokes and you snort as she reads the note aloud. "Meet me at the bleachers, 8PM." She squeals as you snatch the note from her, your eyes scanning the note for yourself. "God, that sounds like a trap. They could be a serial killer!" Nat frets and you chuckle.

"I thought you said they were a serial rose killer?" You tease and she elbows you, making you double over playfully.

"Jerk. I'm just looking out for you." She mutters and you take pity on her, slinging an arm over her shoulder while adjusting your backpack with the other.

"If you're that concerned, you can come with me." You say but she brushes you off, laughing.

"And ruin your secret date? No thanks." She retorts before slipping into her car. "Good luck, don't die and tell me everything tomorrow." You smile as you hop onto your bike.

"Don't worry, I will." You reassure her as your engine roars to life, steering you home.

---------------

You pull the baseball cap further down on your head, leaving only a sliver over your face visible as you climb over the rusty metal fence surrounding the school. Falling into the shadows, you make your way to the football field where the metal bleachers stand. You slip behind the bleachers and let out a sigh of relief as you got here with no problems whatsoever. You check your watch. It reads "8:13". A voice comes up from behind you. A familiar Sokovian accent to be specific.

"I thought you wouldn't come." You jump, clamping a hand over Wanda's mouth who looks equally surprised at your sudden movement.

"Jesus Wanda! What are you doing here?" She raises an eyebrow and you quickly remove your hand.

"You're quite dense aren't you?" She teases, raising her left hand. A hand with at least half a dozen rings. Suddenly the metal ring on your metal finger feels tighter.

"You- Wha- You're the serial rose killer?" You sputter and she stares at you. "Sorry, just a nickname Nat came up with." Wanda's eyebrows furrow at the mention of Natasha.

"Nat? That girl that's always hanging around with you? The one that held hands with you the other day?" She growls and now it's your turn to smirk.

"What? Jealous?" You prod her teasingly. She looks so furious that you can practically imagine steam coming out of her ears. "Hold on. How did you know that we held hands?" She stares at you, stepping closer.

"So you are dating her?" You backpedal a little, trying to increase the distance between the two of you.

"What? No. Holding hands can be a platonic thing." You mutter, tugging at your shirt collar nervously. She moves even closer, pinning you against the brick wall behind the bleachers.

"Do you define kissing as platonic?" She whispers and your eyes drop to the floor before she yanks your chin up and kisses you roughly. You gasp a little and she smirks against your lips. Eventually, you break apart for air.

"Wanda. I already said no. Vision will literally-" She cuts you off.

"Vision won't be doing anything. He's out of the picture." Your eyes widen.

"He's dead?!" You cry in distress and she bursts into silent fits of laughter.

"No! I broke up with him doofus." She whispers, grabbing your hands with her own, soft hands. The cold metal of her rings makes you shiver. "So what do you say?" You contemplate your situation. She likes you. You like her. Vision is no longer there. By the time you've come to a conclusion, it's like Wanda lost all her confidence. "I mean, it's okay if you don't want to." She retracts her hands, rambling. "Sorry for making you do this. I'll just go. I don't even know why I-" You interrupt her by grabbing her waist and pulling her closer to you.

"Wanda Maximoff, shut up and kiss me."

------------

Hi everyone! That was the rushed ending of Unrequited Love. The last line of the story was inspired by @silver-lotus's "Not Into Guys" story.

Taglist: @username23345 @musicinourlips @gingerbreadcookieforlife @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @trikuismybitch @ima-gi--na-tion @nicole-rayleigh-hot

[tickle-bugs]

Justice League Headcanons

So...yeah. Blame @fickle-tiction and @fanficsandfluff but I can’t get JL out of my head. I know next to nothing in terms of canon and I only enjoy a handful of DC movies, so this is the beginning of what I am calling the BEU (Bug Extended Universe). 

Essentially, in the words of Nick Fury, ‘I recognize your canon, but seeing as it’s a stupid-ass canon, I have elected to ignore it :)’. A mish-mash of everything I’ve learned about DC through osmosis and my own personal vibe checks :)

This is absurdly long so everything is under the cut:

Clark Kent

- Superman? NO, Superdork. 

- He’s extremely clumsy. If he wasn’t as fast as a speeding bullet he’d get his ass handed to him ten times over. He has two left feet. 

- He has a sweet tooth like no one’s business. Lois once found him perched on the kitchen counter at 3 am eating the donuts she brought home from work. 

- Super playful and affectionate! King of bear hugs! Country boy I love youuuuuuu

- Curses like a sailor. Do you really think Clark ‘Smallville, Kansas’ Kent is wholesome? He stubbed his toe once and yelled FUCK so loud that the windows vibrated. Everyone who isn’t in the league thinks he’s a boyscout but the league knows the truth. 

- Forgets about his powers a lot. He has been known to run through walls/take doors off their hinges when he’s excited. 

- Goblin. He loves messing with Bruce and roping Barry into his schemes. 

- Clark being ticklish is actually smth that can be so personal? His laugh is so loud and he always goes ‘sorry’ and tries to be quieter but it does NOT work. He has flight instincts more than fight instincts so he often starts unconsciously floating away when he’s tickled it’s so cute. He giggles a lot and he’s not particularly embarrassed by it.

- Do NOT get me started on ler Clark I could write a dissertation. He is SO playful and teasy but also sweet? He definitely is the type to laugh along with his lee. He definitely allows any sort of retaliation/fighting back like,,, if you manage to crawl away it’s because he let you, and if he wants too, he can be very mean and immovable.

- Bruce and Barry are his favorite targets. He doesn’t go after Diana because, frankly, he doesn’t have a death wish. He loves to cause problems on purpose by squeezing Arthur’s side and then blaming it on Barry. (Hal Jordan isn’t in the DCEU Justice League but I wish he was...they’d be partners in crime <3)

Bruce Wayne

- Okay let’s clarify some things: he’s not actually an asshole. He can be abrasive and snarky but he’s more towards the sarcastic gruff side vs straight-up mean.

- A lot of people think he’s genuinely an asshole/disconnected rich guy because he has a terrible habit of zoning out/interrupting people? Bruce actually just has intense ADHD that he refuses to get diagnosed, no matter how much Alfred pushes him. He doesn’t care what people think about him and he’s mostly learned how to manage it, so he leaves it alone.

- That being said, his friendship with Barry has me :’) Yes, he thinks Barry’s a pest (affectionate), but they share a few science-related hyperfixations (robotics, chemical engineering, etc). They can frequently be found holed up in the Batcave with a week’s worth of food and caffeine, and they’re just....tinkering. Watching them at work is amazing because as much as they annoy each other, they respect each other :)

- He’s 100% a cat person. He doesn’t have a problem with dogs, he just prefers cats. He feeds the strays that hang out around the Manor all the time...

-...which Alfred begs him not to do, because Bruce is severely allergic. He thinks he can power through the allergies until one of the stray cats does the face-headbump thing and he’s incapacitated emotionally and physically for the rest of the day. 

- He severely restrains his emotions but like...catch him on a good day or in a good mood and he’ll smile and laugh, especially in friendly company. He just generally believes in maintaining a poker face so no one can read him. 

- Not to be disrespectful but...thighs. I am Looking. 

- Bruce has a wonderful laugh. He’s not much of a giggler tbh but he has this open, clear, slightly scratchy kinda laugh (his voice is permanently hoarse from the Batman Voice). It’s so lovely. He has a habit of covering his mouth bc he’s embarrassed of his smile but if he finds something very funny he’ll laugh openly. 

- Thee Batman is ticklish and he...doesn’t hate it? Like of course he protests ten ways from Sunday but he more minds the ‘guys stop you’re ruining my dark and brooding facade’ bit. He hates being teased though and he will throw hands. 

- Circling back to the emotions thing, he’s very good at controlling his reactions, which means he has thoroughly convinced everyone he’s not ticklish. Except Clark, stupidly perceptive Clark, because he can hear Bruce’s heartbeat and see the way he clenches his jaw to avoid smiling. 

Diana Prince

- WIFEY!!!!! 

- Diana is hilarious okay? She’s just...so fucking funny. Her jokes never miss. You wouldn’t think she’s the quippy type, but she is, and she’s damn good at it. In a distant alternate universe, Peter Parker senses a rival. 

- Loves fresh fruit, but especially strawberries? She makes frequent trips to the local farmer’s market. 

- She also has a raging sweet tooth. She and Clark work together to steal sweets and buy snacks. 

- Will not back down from a challenge, ever. It’s kinda a problem.

- She has such a sweet laugh :’) It’s so bouncy and melodic and she scrunches her nose. She WILL snort and it’s the cutest thing ever. Yes she’s ticklish, but no one gets more than five seconds of laughter out of her before she turns the tables. 

- World’s meanest ler. Not only is she frequently on the prowl, she is near-ruthless, especially if she’s been baited. Once she sets her sights on someone, she won’t rest until she’s heard their laugh. 

- Diana is very mischievous and loves hearing her friends laugh. It’s impossible to be in her vicinity for more than five minutes without at LEAST a few pokes. She is not above just,,, random tickles either. 

- Nails. That is all. 

Arthur Curry

- Why are his tiddies always out? Someone please explain.

- The most targeted for pranks ever. Diana especially. Something about him just attracts goblinism. 

- He’s coming for Clark’s bear hugger crown. He picks people up so often that they’re just used to it now. 

- Playfighting and roughhousing is his love language. He absolutely loves wrestling with anyone who’ll humor him. He and Diana frequently tussle because they’re both good sports about it (Bruce is a little bit of a sore loser. Just a smidge). 

- Thinks he can get away with anything, which is decidedly not true. He just nopes his way out of the room and everyone’s like D:< get back here and atone for your sins!!! But Arthur’s already in the Pacific Ocean. 

- I like to think he’s ticklish, just not super ticklish y’know? He probably has a couple hidden spots that make him lose it though. Like he’ll definitely laugh and fall over, but he can and will fight back. Oh boy, will he fight back. 

- Batman: No fear.

Diana and Arthur sneaking up behind him:

Batman: One fear. 

- Y’know that picture of Jason Momoa sneaking up behind Henry Cavill on the red carpet? That is extremely relevant. Arthur loves to sneak up behind people and just...take them down. 

- Thinks Barry is annoying (affectionate) and the two of them are constantly chasing each other around. Barry is fast but Arthur’s strong (and wayy less ticklish than Barry)

- Physical affection!! He always has his arms around someone’s shoulders or something. He’s just a touchy kind of guy :)

Barry Allen

- Speedy boy! ADHD king! Sometimes his thoughts are also at superspeed, which means he talks way too fast and no one can understand him? But Bruce speaks fluent Barry and he translates often (though not without a labored sigh beforehand). 

- Physically affectionate but casual about it? He likes to play with people’s hands while he’s talking, bump shoulders with whoever he’s next to, etc. He doesn’t really realize he does it either. It’s not uncommon for him to be talking to Clark or Diana and they just...unconsciously give him their hand before he reaches for it.

- Okay so y’know how Bruce feeds the strays? Who do you think lets them in the first place? Barry has tried to adopt every stray he comes across, and when Alfred inevitably says no, Barry runs them to the shelter himself :’)

- Gifting is his love language!!! If he sees anything that remotely reminds him of his friends, he brings it to them. 

- He likes to hang out with Victor because he’s quiet, but doesn’t mind when Barry rambles, which he tends to do quite often. Barry will catch himself rambling and trail off, but Victor will encourage him to keep going, because he’s listening. 

- Thee Pillsbury Doughboy. Just these high-pitched, bouncy, frantic giggles that only get worse and eventually morph into cackles. He hiccups a lot too :’)

- Okay so he’s not a flailer but he’s super squirmy. Barry will cling onto his ler’s arms just to hold onto something. He kicks his legs too (he does this when he’s not being tickled either, if he laughs and he’s sitting somewhere he kicks). He also just constantly tries to crawl away. If he isn’t pinned down he will drag himself to safety. He also has a habit of curling up :’)

- Absolutely invented the speed-tickle. He actually doesn’t often use his powers (unless he’s chasing down Clark, because Clark isn’t above breaking the sound barrier to escape). He’s just got incredible hand-eye coordination and precision. His hands will be absolutely everywhere and he is so teasy about it. 

- Tries not to start fights he can’t finish, but he always gets roped into Clark’s mischief and gets targeted with revenge tickles. 

- He has tickled Clark once. It was incredible, amazing, showstopping, spectacular. Literally his crowning achievement. Did Clark absolutely destroy him afterwards? Yes, but it was so worth it. 

Victor Stone

- Quiet and stoic, but he’s always preferred listening and interjecting with a joke or two. 

- Closest with Barry and Diana, but he’s making an effort to bond with everyone.

- Unfortunately not ticklish :( I like to think soft touches on his face will make him smile and lean away, but it’s not going to get a laugh from him.

- Doesn’t often get involved in tickly shenanigans, but when he does, he surprises everyone with how much fun he has. A different, warmer side of him comes out when he’s among his friends.

- He’s a hugger! Definitely awkward about it, but he loves hugs and just...holding his friends. 

- He collects hoodies. He can’t really feel them when he’s wearing them, but he likes them and the idea of it. Barry seems to slip him a new hoodie every week. Victor has no idea where he gets them from but he’s not complaining. 

- He is an enabler. He will look at Bruce like :| “no, I don’t know where Barry and Clark are, nor do I no what they’re planning” But they’re literally right behind Bruce, about to squeeze his sides. 

- That being said, he won’t do that with Diana. If she asks where they are, he’ll subtly nod his head in their direction. Even in jest, he will never lie to her. Which makes him Thee person to avoid when Diana’s on her mischievous streaks.

[squishy-mochi-is-bright-pink]

heyyy i hope you’re doing well <3 i have a requestt :) so like ushijima’s (and anyone else you would like to add) s/o comes home and is having bad day but he is also having a bad day and he comes to comfort them and once they’re calmed down a bit they start talking about their problems and then they saying praising him a lot saying stuff like he’s a best they’ve ever had and then starts going into how much they’re proud of him which kinda makes him start tearing up too and he might say some stuff back and they just end up comforting each other the whole night. i hope this makes sense....😭

Coming home to Ushijima when you’ve both had a bad day

Contains: Ushijima

CW: None, Gender neutral s/o

Genre: comfort / fluff

Word count: 1307

Summary: You come home to Ushijima and comfort each other after you’ve both had a long hard day

A/n: This makes perfect sense and its such a cute request. Thanks for giving me a distraction from school <3 Id honestly love any requests right now they make me so happy to know someone likes my writing enough to ask :D. I might end up doing a part 2 because this request was so much fun to write.

Today had been a long hard gruelling day for both you and your boyfriend Ushijima but in two very different ways. 

You had been tied up with back to back work whether it be confused people, dealing with problem costumers or running after your boss, no matter what you had been on your feet all day and hadn’t had a single break. By the time you got home, you were completely overwhelmed and exhausted.

Wakatoshi however, had an extremely difficult practice. For some reason today his spiked just weren’t landing as well as normal. It was rather subtle, so he doubts the most of his team even noticed, but he certainly did and it frustrated him. The more he spiked the more frustrated he got. This lead to him staying extra long for individual practice. By the time he got home, he was exhausted in a different way.

Wakatoshi had arrived home about an hour before you had and by the time you walked through the door with your shoulders slumped over he had only just managed to get dressed after getting out of a long bath. Unlike usual his bath had barely let him relax at all and he was patiently waiting on the sofa staring at the door to your apartment. Honestly, he reminded you of a puppy because the second you walked through the door his eyes lit up ever so slightly at the sight of his precious s/o. 

No matter how exhausted you are when you get home and Toshi is there you walk over to the couch and gently press a kiss to his forehead, he relaxes just a little at the contact, and then you walk to your shared room to change out of your uniform and shower.

When you and Wakatoshi first began dating you never expected just how touch starved he’d end up being. He was always so stern and severe that he just didn’t seem like the type but behind closed doors, he clings to you like a koala. When he’s tired, or in a mood, or just wants cuddles its almost impossible to pry your self away from him, not that you’d want to. That man is a literal space heater and he uses it to his advantage in order to receive maximum cuddles.

When you eventually finished with a scalding shower and changed into your fluffiest, comfiest pyjamas you could find and emerged from your room wrapped in a blanket. 

You silently walk to where he’s sitting on the couch with a movie already playing. You silently put your arms out straight, look at him with puppy eyes and make grabby hands until he opens up his arms and lets you lay on his chest. At this point, after all the stress of your day, you just started to cry softly into his chest.

You weren’t crying over anything specific just letting all your frustrations of the day out as your loving boyfriend rubs small circles and patterns on your back. After a while, he asked what was up and you recounted every small event between sniffles. He sat and listened to everything from the one Karen you had to talk all the way until everything just got too much. He didn’t really care if his spikes didn’t land as well today he had his baby in his arms.

Once you had eventually calmed down and stopped sniffling you asked him how his day went. Not wanting to pile anything else on you he gently tells you he’s fine. Obviously, you don’t buy it for a second, he looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion when you walked in. “Toshi. Baby.” you start in a soothing tone, “we’ve been together since our last year of high school. I know when you arent alright, and I know when somethings wrong. Why don’t you just tell me about it now? I promise I feel better now”

That was when he gave in and told you. He told you about every failed spike, every joke or comment from his teammates, every extra drill he forced himself to do. How utterly exhausted he felt. He told you all about his insecurities. Was he even good enough to call himself the ace when he can’t land spikes?

You quietly listen while you took your turn to draw soft circles all over his upper arm and chest doing anything you can to soothe his nerves and insecurities physically. After about forty minutes he was all out of insecurities today brought up for him so you decided to start reassuring him. 

“Toshi, I love you. I love you so much” You start with again with as soothing a tone as you can. Then you decide to pick up his hands and lay a gentle kiss to each individual knuckle then his rough palm. “I’ve been following your volleyball since our first year of high school, and I know that you’re the best ace I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen anyone spike in the same way you can.” You held him tight, trying to wrap your arms around him. “It’s not just spikes. You can read opponents and recognise their strengths and weaknesses. You can receive and you’ve managed to keep up the spirits of any team I’ve ever seen you play on. You inspire all of us to do better because if we don’t we wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

By now Ushijimas eyes were beginning to water, growing up hed rarely gotten this much genuine praise, especially from someone he loved this much. “And it’s not just volleyball either, you’re the best boyfriend I could ask for. You’re always there for me. It’s like you’re my rock. You’re steady and strong. And even when you’re exhausted you made me a priority I couldn’t ever ask for anything more.” You continued on your ramble about how absolutely perfect your boyfriend is, a rant you’ve gone on many times to your friends. 

By now tears have started to slightly roll down his cheeks, it was as if you had just gone into his heart and soul and surgically removed every insecurity. Even ones that he had never said out loud. You went quiet when you noticed and shuffled further up his chest, using your sweater paws from oversized PJs to wipe off the small trail of tears. He just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back to his chest. Once you were there he laid a gentles kiss on the top of your head and just hold you.

After a very short amount of time, he started to whisper praises back to you. He told you all about how gorgeous you are, how smart you are, how you’ve lit up his life. He told you about how if he’s your rock then you’re his home. His safe space to return to and recharge at the end of each day. How he loves how patient and understanding you can be. He loves how small you are when compared to him. How his teammates, even all the way back to high school, had always been jealous of him. Especially on random days when you would randomly show up to practice with tasty snacks, you had made to surprise him, over time learning how to make them fit into his meal plan. How you did all of those tiny things without thinking. 

Eventually, you went to bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was one of the best nights sleep either of you had ever gotten in your life. Tomorrow, his spikes were back to normal, if not better, and your job seemed just a little bit easier. You both remembered that no matter what you were never alone. although you knew that a reminder is always nice.

[just-like-playing-tag]

A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[nomattertheoceans]

GIF REQUEST MEME: Favorite season from The 100 - Season four

I love season four for a lot of reasons!! I think it’s the best season of the show and it should have been their last (despite my love for most of s5 ^^) I’m gonna ramble a lot but I don’t want it to take over the gifset so I’ll put it under a cut

Season four is the time of hard, impossible choices for everybody. The bomb at Farm Station, the List, the Nightblood tests, opening the bunker, the anti-radiation medicine…. Everybody is put through the ringer during this season and honestly, this is what I’m here for.

First great point for me personally: They can’t stop the radiations. When season 3 ended with the reveal of the radiations coming, I was legit disappointed with the show, I didn’t want them to spend the season “turning off” radiations miraculously, you know. So when ep 2 of the season aired and the first thing Raven said was “there’s no magic button to stop this” I WAS SO HAPPY!! It immediately got me much more hyped for the rest of the season because I was invested in “riding out 5 years of hell” much more than “let’s find a magic button”. So the season hooked me then ^^

The season is really good at re-using previous themes and twist them in just the right way

Clarke, who was so angry at the council for killing her dad, finds herself in the council’s position, and starts to understand that making such hard decisions is never easy. Making the list for instance, is so different from what she had to do before. The genocide of Mt Weather was an act of despair in the middle of a war, but making the list is a process, she has to truly chose who is “worth” more, which is what the council did when they sent the 100 to the Ground. She choses to hide the truth from everybody despite it going against what she wanted at the start of the show. It’s a really cool change for her character.

The Arkers and Grounders take the decision to test the Nightblood against Luna, the Rock Line thief, and Emori’s will. An obvious reminder of s2 but that I appreciate. I liked the Mt Weather story because of this: the mountain men were the antagonists but they also were the same as the rest of the show, they were doing whatever they had to do to survive, whatever it took, no matter how cruel it could be. We see in this season that when faced with the same decision, our protagonists reach the same result: sacrificing other people’s bodily autonomy to survive is worth it to them. It’s a really interesting theme to bring back because it muddies the waters of who’s right and wrong, and it highlights that in the end, there is no black and white answer.

This season gives us my personal favorite version of Clarke: she’s the closest she’ll get to a true antagonist (only comparable to s5 but s5 is a little bit of a mess so I still prefer her in s4). She has one conviction: saving her people. And to get it, she is ready to lie, to cheat, to kill, whatever it takes. It is interesting because I always saw Clarke in that light. She always believes that she has the right idea and she will do what it takes to get what she thinks is best. That’s where she is interesting to me (I’m not interested in her being an innocent victim forced to take decisions, that’s not how I see her at all and I find her a little dull in that interpretation haha but that’s for another post). Clarke stealing the bunker is a cruel act, but man, it’s incredibly smart. At that moment she knows she’s condeming many people (some of whom very close to her) to death, but she believes deep inside her that it’s the right thing to do so she’s willing to do it. And i really prefer her in those ruthless moments.

Octavia’s arc this season isn’t my favorite, but she is at her best during the last few episodes for me. The creation of Wonkru is one of my favorite scenes of the entire show, even though I saw it coming a mile away lmao (1200 spaces, 12 clans, it was easy to see where they were going!). I love the scene, I love the place it comes from (Octavia channeling Lincoln’s convictions was brilliant). I might not agree with her decisions (skaikru definitely deserved more spots than the other clans), but it makes perfect sense for her character to make this decision. The scene of her talking to Skaikru and telling them they’re no different from the others, and they have to choose or they all die, is also one of my favorites. Octavia received no mercy on the Ark, she had a terribly tragic childhood because of those people who are now begging her for their lives, and she doesn’t budge. The Ark, and the Ground, forced her to be that way, and she doesn’t back away. It’s also all a brilliant introduction to what Wonkru and Octavia will become in s5 (but again, that’s for another post lmao)

I love that we get the introduction of Spacekru because I love their little found family and the scene where they reach the Ring is so good!

Murphy’s speech to Clarke makes me tear up everytime I see it (it really was one of the strongest moments of acting of the entire show, Richard Harmon is amazing in it). Emori also blows me away in the previous episode, the way she’s shown to be ruthless, and cunning, and also how well she reads people. She knew they would come to test someone, and she did everything she had to for that someone to not be her. I love her ^^

I like the plot of the second dawn bunker well enough! (although I will never change my mind that Cadogan was a dumbass for putting it where it is instead of IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST WHERE THERE’S NO RISK OF BUILDINGS FALLING ON IT LIKE WHAT LITERALLY HAPPENED IN S5 OKAY anyway…..), it’s far from perfect but I like that it explains the people coming to greet Becca in s3, and I like that we expand a little on the origins of the Grounders culture (even though I wanted more about this). It’s kind of an “easy” solution, but at the same time it’s not. It was established early in the season before being abandoned, and even once it’s found, it’s not at all a perfect and easy solution. They have to fight for it, decide who lives there, it’s a pretty interesting development. What I mean is that it’s not discovered one episode before the end and it doesn’t solve everything. If anything, it creates more conflict. Which I appreciate alot.

ALSO ALSO Echo is a badass general in this season and I love it. She goes from being a spy in earlier seasons, to full-on commanding armies and being a strategic mastermind and I love it! She’s also ruthless and cunning and I lvoe that for her. It’s also such a good season for her and Bellamy!!! I lvoe all of it ^^

This season also has one of my favorite underrated quotes!!!! I’m gonna use a gif here cause I’m not at the limit yet lmao

“It’s unity day.” GODDDD it’s so good. It’s simple, but it conveys so much information and I love it:

Unity Day: the stations coming together to survive -> we’re virtually in the same situation here.

It’s a happy occasion, a day of survival and hope, just like the hope Octavia gave all the clans with her decisions

But it’s also a day of death and loss. She’s giving Kane a choice: join Wonkru with 100 members, or die in the flames.

It reminds us of the history of the Arkers, and I love when world-building does this thing where both characters are shown to have such a close cultural background that three little words are enough to convey such a strong message. It’s a detail but I love it and I wanted to ramble for a little bit ^^

Clarke’s sacrifice: This is when it gets to “meh” points for the seasons for me. Clarke deciding to stay behind to save Spacekru was a good moment. Yes, I know that if she hadn’t climbed the tower they all would have died anyway, but still. It’s a great moment for her character. She has hurt those people time and time again during this season, she was ready to let them die more than once, and I think she regrets it (although again, I like to see the extremes she’s willing to reach in this season). In that moment, she doesn’t decide that it’s too late to survive so she might as well give up. She knows she’s going to die, and she gives her last moments to save the lives of the people she hurt in the past. And I really love this. That is….. Until Clarke is revealed to not have died. I truly believe that she had reached the ending of her arc in the show, and it would have been a great ending to her character. But that’s also because I believe the show should have ended in s4 lmao. If it had ended, then maybe they could have left her death ambiguois, by showing her reaching the safety of the lab, but not showing her again afterwards. That way, we had no way of being sure she survived, but it was left ambiguous enough to make us decide her fate outselves.

The perfect ending: I didn’t choose the last gif randomly. That scene of Raven and Bellamy looking down on the Earth was in my opinion the perfect shot to end the show. At that point in time, we are left in a place that is very similar to where the show started: the Earth is destroyed by radiations, some people are waiting it out in space, some people are waiting it out on the ground. it mirrors the premise of the show (although in a much smaller scale), but this time, we’re left with hope of what might come in the future. Those two groups know (or hope) that they will reunite, especially with Octavia and Bellamy, the relationship at the core of the show, being separated. If the show ends here, we have come full circle from the pilot episode, and we can imagine how those two groups will reunite in the future. I find that ending the best possible for the show, so even though there’s so much I like about season 5, I wish the show had stopped at that moment, at that shot of Raven and Bellamy looking down on the Earth.

That got reaaaaally long, so…. sorry about that xD If you’ve reached this far, feel free to tell me what you think of this season (or the others haha) or send me asks, or request for other gifsets!!!