#this is messy but I’m still recovering from the flu so it’s the best I got 😭

[ratsnu]

Surprise your nemesis by kissing them mid-argument this Valentine’s Day !

[isis-astarte-diana]

Milk and Honey: Day 1

Day 1 ‖ Day 2 ‖ Day 3

Summary: “I can’t keep a houseplant alive, never mind a Time Lord.” You aren’t thrilled when the Doctor asks you to observe a wounded Missy while she heals, but in close quarters you see a side of her you’d never expected.

Warnings: Mentions of injury, blood and gore, but nothing too graphic. Sexual tension and a teeny tiny bit of non-sexual nudity. Missy is her own warning (I’m going to start using an acronym for this because it comes up far too much). SFW. Very, very soft.

Word Count: 2820

NB: This ran away from me so badly, so it will be continued! I read the whole Wiki page on Gallifreyan physiology for this. They really do have orange blood, and they really can’t take aspirin. I also took the liberty of throwing in the “only one bed” trope and making it gay.

“I don’t even know first aid.”

The Doctor scoffs, dismissing you with a wave of his hand. “Wouldn’t help much anyway. Very different anatomy.”

“Doctor, I’m serious. My Nintendogs all ran away from neglect. Every Tamagotchi I’ve ever had has starved to death. I can’t keep a houseplant alive, never mind a Time Lord.”

“Time Lords are easier. They tell you when they need feeding. Look,” he reaches out to touch your arm, his voice lowering. “I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I didn’t need to. I can’t monitor the vault all day while I’m working, and somebody has to keep watch while she recovers. Bill doesn’t have her own place and Nardole is... Nardole. She doesn’t need medical care; she’ll heal on her own in a few days. She just needs observation.”

You cross your arms tightly and throw a glance at the closed bathroom door. “Observation while she rips my throat out?”

“Don’t be like that. Missy gets on with you. Besides which, she’s in no condition to cause trouble.”

“Okay, see, that?” You point an accusatory finger at his chest, close to yours where you stand in the narrow hallway of your flat. “That sounds far too much like tempting fate.” He takes your hand in both of his. The pleading look on his face makes you soften. “What happened to her, anyway?”

“Ah. Silurians, apparently. Stabbed in the back. They fight dirty.” He chuckles. “So does she.”

“Are you sure she doesn’t need stitches, or anything?”

“No need; it’ll take care of itself. Temporal platelets. Ad-hoc regeneration.” Sensing your confusion, he explains, “surface wounds heal quickly. It’s probably already scabbed over. It’s the internal damage that takes time.”

“I just don’t know if I’m the right person to do this.”

“You are.” It’s heavy with sincerity. “There’s nobody else in the universe that I would trust.”

You scoff. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”

“Of course it will.” He grins and gives your hand one final squeeze before dropping it. “I’ll come and check in on you both tomorrow, alright? I’ll drop some things off for her.”

“Yeah, alright.”

He’s halfway out the door when he pauses and looks back over his shoulder. “Oh, don’t give her any aspirin. Incompatible with Gallifreyan physiology. It works like rat poison.”

“Duly noted.”

+++++

You’ve been standing outside the bathroom door for the best part of two minutes now, trying to decide whether or not to make your presence known.

Inside, over the sound of the bath running, you can hear Missy swearing. She’s always had a more colourful taste in language than the Doctor, but this is something new. There are choice words that you recognise and strange sounds you can only assume to be Gallifreyan expletives, all strung together in a near-constant stream of profanity.

You jump back when there’s a loud thud against the door. It sounds like she’s slammed her hand into it. Already wincing in anticipation, you reach out and knock tentatively.

“Missy?” Your voice is apologetic. “You okay?”

Silence. The door cracks open just enough for you to see her face, still stained with dry blood. Her eyes are red and puffy.

“Could you give me a hand?” She winces like it pains her to ask. “Please.”

You think it might be the first time you’ve heard her say that.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. What- what do you need?”

“I can’t- I’m having trouble with my laces.” A half-smile as she tries to claw back the power she’s unused to handing over. “On account of the whopping great stab wound, and whatnot.”

“Yeah, those can be inconvenient.”

She pushes the door wider and lets you into the bathroom. Your eyes are drawn to the pile of white and violet on the floor, her discarded skirt and blouse. Her cameo brooch is balanced on the sink. Its ivory face is obscured with smears of orange.

“I just need somebody to loosen them,” she continues, turning to show you her back, mercifully ignoring the way your gaze flits about the room and tries to avoid settling on her. “Unfortunately I’m very good at tying knots.”

For some reason, that makes your mouth go dry.

“I’ll do my best.”

She’s facing away from you, towards the mirror. Her hair falls down over one shoulder, already brushed conveniently out of your way. The chemise she wears is thin, pale linen, stiff and brown in places with dried blood, pinned in place beneath the corset she can’t remove herself. It curves under her bust and across her back.

From here, you can see how the knife must have entered between the laces in the small of her back, caking them with blood. The tight bow is undamaged. You begin to pick it apart, trying not to touch her, as much in modesty as for fear of aggravating the injury.

“Let me know if I hurt you.”

“Hmm.” She grips the sink, angling her body to give you better access. Drawing your bottom lip between your teeth, you focus on the knots slowly giving beneath your fingers, trying in vain to ignore her closeness and the way her hips are just barely touching your own.

You’re glad of the cacophony of rushing water from the tap. The pressure of your pulse in your throat is almost painful. Sweat beads at your temples. Steam. It’s a hot room. That’s all.

“Okay.” The laces fall slack in your hands, the bow finally coming apart. “Just- loosen them?”

“Please.” There it is again.

“This might- you know-”

“I know.”

Her hands tighten on the sink when you hook one finger beneath the first row of laces above her waist and tug, drawing slack from the loose ends, releasing some of the tension. When she doesn’t make any sound of protest, you move higher up and repeat the motion. It’s not until the entire top half of the corset is loosened that she lets out a slow, shallow breath you hadn’t realised she was holding, shifting her position.

“Okay?”

“Fine.” It comes out short. She makes an effort to soften her voice. “It’s fine.”

“I’ll carry on.”

You know that the other side will be worse. The wound is just lower than where the bow had been, and the stiff garment has probably held it closed quite effectively. Removing it is unlikely to help the pain.

Sure enough, when you pull on the first lace Missy makes a low noise behind her teeth. She’s white-knuckled on the edge of the sink, threatening to crack the cheap porcelain. You imagine explaining that to the landlord and try to hide an inappropriate smile.

“Keep going,” she prompts tightly.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

You work as gently as you can, but it’s clear that even the smallest motion is painful. By the time you reach the bottom of the corset, her breathing is ragged and her eyes are screwed shut. You feel profoundly guilty.

“Can you- take it off, or should I?”

“Could you?” She gestures to her stomach and quickly steadies herself again. “Clasps are at the front.”

“Sure.”

Swallowing thickly, you move closer to reach around her waist. The backs of her thighs press against you from the position. When your hands land on her stomach, gripping the starched material at the bottom, you can feel her four-beat pulse through the panels. Your fingers are trembling.

The hooks and eyes slide apart with a chorus of metallic clicks, leaving just the top fastenings still holding. She grunts, twitching, pushing back against you. She’s warm.

“Almost done.” It’s as much for your benefit as hers. You follow the material upwards, drawing back as if burned when the fabric of her chemise brushes your fingers, and release the final two clasps. She lets out a heavy exhale in relief, glancing up from the sink, and for a long moment she catches your eye in the mirror. Her features are strained from the ordeal, messy hair in her face, lips parted as she catches her breath. You look awestruck.

“Thank you,” she murmurs into the reflection.

You pull back too quickly, dropping the corset to the floor with her other clothes and reaching over awkwardly to turn the tap off. The bath is full.

“I’ll put you some clothes ready,” you say hurriedly, nearly tripping on the pile of laundry in your haste to leave the room. “Just shout if you need anything else.”

Back in the kitchen, you wash the orange-brown stains of Missy’s blood from your hands. When you drag them harshly down your face, trying to steady yourself with a splash of cold water, they smell like pennies.

+++++

“Don’t laugh.”

“Jesus!” You nearly jump out of your skin, dropping the butter knife you’re holding and throwing a hand up to your pounding heart. “Don’t you make any noise when you walk?”

“Not if I can help it. Which I can.” Missy pauses. “What are you doing?”

“Making toast. Pretty standard human stuff. Breakfast? Toast. Flu? Toast. Tonsils out? Toast. Mortally wounded?” You shrug. “Toast.”

“I’m not mortally wounded,” she snaps. “You have to be mortal for that. I’m temporarily, slightly incapacitated.”

“Oh, of course,” you concede, looking back at her over your shoulder. “Luckily, there’s toast for-”

Your voice catches in your throat.

She’s obviously found the clothes you set out for her; an oversized tee shirt that swamps her frame and a pair of pyjama trousers. Her dark hair falls in a thick, wet braid. With her face clean you can see for the first time where she’s injured.

There’s a graze on her cheek, spanning across her nose, pink and sore-looking. Her bottom lip is swollen and split on the same side. A long, dark scab bisects the patch of rough skin, reaching from her jaw up towards her eye. It looks like her face has been slammed into the ground repeatedly.

You’ve never really seen her without her trademark boots and careful tailoring. She’s shorter than you imagined. There’s a soft, feminine curve to her stomach that’s usually concealed by the corset, and a faint musculature to her biceps.

“You look-”

“Don’t,” she cuts you off sharply. “Don’t say it. Let’s not add insult to injury.”

“I was going to say that you look nice.”

“Oh.” Her face softens. Some of the tightness leaves her brow. “Nice is fine. You can say that.”

It’s true, but the unsaid hangs heavily between you. She looks human. Hurt and freshly showered, standing in your kitchen in a pair of your pyjamas and with fuzzy striped socks on her feet, she looks so... soft. Touchable. Loveable.

Wait, what? Where did that come from?

The toaster pops and you turn to it, infinitely grateful for the distraction. You can feel her eyes on the back of your neck.

“Anything I can do?”

“No, I’m good.” The words come out too quickly. You throw her a weak smile. “I’ve got this. Thank you. You sit down.”

“Matron knows best.”

Her fingers brush over your elbow as she turns to leave. It could be a thank you. It’s hard to say.

+++++

You’ve been to other planets. You’ve travelled in time. You’ve seen cyborgs, and dinosaurs, and aliens of every description; but nothing has ever felt more bizarre than sitting on your sofa beside Missy, having tea and toast, watching a soap opera on a Thursday evening.

She’s leaning against an armrest, two pillows propped behind her back, keeping her weight off the healing wound. Her bright eyes are fixed on the television. She’d actually requested this programme, finding the endless human conflicts relentlessly amusing.

“He’s buried under the allotment.”

"Who is? The brother?”

“Definitely.” She sips from one of your prized novelty mugs. It’s purple and shaped like a cartoon octopus. “It was his wife. She poisoned him.”

“It’s always poison when it’s a woman.” You munch at your toast. “You know, most poisoners are men.”

“Most murderers are men, love.” The endearment nearly makes you choke. “You’re privileged enough to be sitting next to one of the minority.”

“Girl power,” you mutter around a mouthful of crumbs. She laughs. There’s something warm and genuine about it that makes your heart clench. You finish eating in companionable silence, watching as Missy’s prediction is revealed to be true just before the credits roll. 

“Told you.” She leans in to set her empty plate down on the coffee table on top of yours. As she moves, she winces and lets out a soft sound of discomfort. One hand reaches back to press against the injury. You frown.

“How’s it feeling?”

“Quite a lot like I was stabbed, actually.” She rubs her forehead. “I think I need to do that thing. What’s it called? Like a healing coma, but less.” Glancing sideways at your furrowed brow, she prompts, “you know. You do it all the time. Eight hours a week, or something.”

"Sleep?”

“Sleep! That’s the one. Clever girl.” You can’t supress a shiver at the way she rolls the ‘r’. “Been a while since I’ve done that.”

“That would explain a lot.” You move the dishes, leaving them for the morning. “Just let me get changed and grab a blanket. You can take the bed.”

“Oh, no need.” She waves you away. “I’m perfectly fine here. Think I was in the desert, last time, so this is a step up.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you to sleep on a sofa when you’re recovering from a stab wound, Missy, Gallifreyan constitution or not. Besides which, this is a particularly bad one to spend the night on. Believe me, I speak from experience. The desert may actually be preferable.”

“I’m not throwing you out of your own bed,” she snaps, so harshly that it makes you flinch. “I’m enough of a nuisance as it is.”

Here we go.

Wounded pride is something you’ve dealt with from the Doctor time innumerable, but you’ve never had to address it with Missy before. You realise how difficult it must have been for her to ask for your help with the corset and wonder how much pain she’d put herself through trying to do it alone. For the first time, you imagine the conversation she must have had with the Doctor before he brought her here. How long did she fight him on it? How long did she insist that she could cope on her own in the vault? You’d assumed that he wanted to keep her supervised in case the injury didn’t heal well, but maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe he just didn’t want her to be alone.

“We could share.”

She lifts her head, setting those ancient eyes on you. “Share?”

“Share the bed. It’s big enough. No point in one of us being uncomfortable if we don’t have to be. Bill and I share when she comes over.” You feel like you’re babbling. This may be the worst idea you’ve ever had.

“Do you?”

“Course we do. Friends do that.”

Friends. She blinks a few times.

“Well then. When in Rome, as they say.” She rises unsteadily to her feet, one hand braced on the arm of the sofa. “Although apparently, that doesn’t mean that you can crucify someone for stealing a mule. The Doctor was so cross with me that weekend.”

+++++

“You’re going to fall off the bed.”

Missy’s voice is muffled by the pillow jammed awkwardly under her cheek. She’s lying on her stomach, arms under her head, her face twisted towards you so that she isn’t leaning on the injured side.

You wince at having been caught out. You’re as close to the edge as it’s possible to be, balanced uncomfortably on your side with your back to her. Even so, you can feel her behind you; she has no such qualms about taking up space.

“I’m not contagious, you know.” In her exhausted state - she’s been half-asleep since her head hit the pillow - she actually sounds insulted. “There’s no epidemic of knife wounds.”

“Please don’t jinx it.”

She snorts. Suitably chagrined, you squirm back towards the middle of the bed, settling into your usual sleeping position. You still make sure to keep your face turned away. There’s an odd feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. You can’t shake the idea that if you roll over and look at her face, the cuts and grazes there cast in sharp relief by the thin light of the bedside lamp, something terrible will happen.

You reach for the switch. “Light off?”

Her leg brushes against yours, warm even through the pyjamas, and your heart skips a beat. “Leave it on?” She sounds so small in the dark. You pause for a second before tucking your arm back under the duvet.

“Of course.” It sounds rough. You clear your throat. “Goodnight, Missy.”

“Night,” she murmurs back, already thick and drowsy.

Sleep comes easy to you both.

[znaeb]

heyy!can you do an imagine in which reader visits the boys on tour and has to share a bunk with one of them?surprise me with the pairing ;) p.s.love your writing style!!

Poor Planning // N.M.

You were so excited to visit your best friend Brandon, a giddy feeling bubbling up inside of you as the plane landed. You grabbed your carryon from the overhead compartment and made your way through the airport to find the group of boys who were picking you up. 

you looked around the airport for them, smiling when you saw Zion’s head peeking out over the top of a small group of people. 

“Guys!” you called towards them, waving when they heard your voice and turned towards you. You both rushed forward, immediately being engulfed in a big hug from Austin. Zion was quick to follow, but Edwin and Brandon hung back. 

“Hey, B… Ed?” you smiled and furrowed your eyebrows, “um, is everything okay?” 

“I–,” Brandon accidentally cut himself off with a sneeze and then a weird half-sneeze-half-cough, “I’m pretty sure i have the flu…” he sighed and looked upset. 

“and I’m pretty sure he gave me the flu…” Edwin shook his head and crossed his arms. 

“Yeah, they’re supposed to be resting, but Brandon he just had to come with us to get you.” Zion rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Aw, I’m so sorry, B.” you frowned and quickly squeezed his shoulder. 

As you all walked towards the car parked outside you and Brandon stayed slightly behind as the other three walked ahead. 

“Where’s Nick?” you questioned. 

“He was busy,” Brandon answered nonchalantly. 

You nodded, unsurprised. You and Nick had never gotten along well. Your interactions were rarely pleasant, both of you taking every opportunity to land a good zinger and make the other mad. It was one of the reasons you were hesitant to visit the boys while they were on tour, you didn’t want to spend the whole trip frustrated and arguing with Nick.

on the drive home, you had so much fun talking with the boys, even stopping at taco bell to grab some food. when the car arrived back at the lot where the bus was parked you all spilled out and rushed towards the tour-bus to play Super Smash Bros. Feeling the need to reclaim your title as queen of the game when Zion claimed that he could beat you. 

When you walked in Nick was sitting on the couch on his phone, already seeming annoyed by your presence, rolling his eyes when you said ‘hi’ to him. 

“Oh, we brought you taco bell,” you said as kindly as you could and handed him the takeaway bag. smiling smugly at the surprised expression on his face. 

“Thanks,” he said curtly and nodded in your direction. 

the tension was impossible to miss and the other boys stood there in awkward silence until Austin spoke up saying, “well then, let’s play smash bros.”

Nick left the room as you began to play and your blood boiled, you were so confused and annoyed by his behavior. you’d never done anything to him. 

—-

later that night you ran into a problem… you didn’t know where you were supposed to sleep. Brandon and Edwin were obviously out because you weren’t down to catch the flu, and Zion and Austin were both too large to share their tiny bunks. 

you brought the problem to Brandon and his suggestion was simple, “I’ll ask Nick if you can share with him.” he shrugged and stood up, obviously he didn’t fully understand the deep-seated issues between you and Nick. you protested but he was adamant that he could get Nick to act reasonably. needless to say, you did not share his certainty. 

you stayed in the main area of the bus and waited as he went to talk to Nick, cringing as you imagined the conversation that was about to ensue. 

Nick stormed out from the bunk area holding a pillow and blanket, looking at you with annoyance painted all over his face before throwing his things down on the small seating area, which could barely be considered a couch, and saying, “my bunk’s the middle one on the left.” 

“I didn’t tell Brandon to ask you. I’ll sleep out here, you don’t have to.” you apologized sincerely, never wanting to kick him out of his own bed. 

“Just take it, I really don’t feel like pissing off Brandon.” he rolled his eyes at you and laid down, pulling out his phone. 

“thank you, Nick.” you tried to show your appreciation, but you were practically ignored. you mumbled a ‘goodnight’ before walking into the bunk area. 

—-

on the third night you turned in early, Brandon and Edwin were slowly recovering but very worn out from performing and afraid that they could still be contagious.

you’d been laying in bed for a while and you were hovering right on the edge of sleep when the bunk curtain was pulled back and your shoulder was nudged repeatedly.

“Hey, scoot the fuck over,” Nick spoke gruffly, rubbing his eyes. 

“Nick? what time is it?” you asked offhandedly and began to move to the side. 

“it’s one AM and my back fucking hurts,” he said rudely as he climbed into the bunk and sighed in relief at the soft mattress under his body. 

“I told you I’d sleep in there,” you said defensively and looked over at him.

“I don’t even care, just let me sleep please.” he groaned and rolled onto his side, facing your direction but still a reasonable distance from you. you didn’t respond, trying to avoid more unnecessary conflict.  

you looked at him for a moment. he was shirtless, only wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a small gold chain around his neck. his hair was messy and his closed eyelids fluttered every now and then. 

you’d always thought that Nick was very attractive, you even had a small crush on him when you first met– before you realized how unpleasant he was. you huffed and rolled onto your side to face away from him, wrapping your blanket around yourself and closing your eyes to sleep. 

—-

you woke up at around four AM. you were comfortable, but something was off. it wasn’t until you began to roll onto your back that you felt the arm wrapped around your middle, the legs intertwined with yours, and the head nestled in the crook of your neck. your eyes snapped open and you looked down to see a sleeping Nick practically wrapped around you. 

you didn’t know how to react. on the one hand, this was very weird and unexpected… but on the other, you didn’t want to wake him up and cause awkwardness where you didn’t have to. 

one of your arms was trapped underneath his neck and the other was wrapped around his shoulder. he began to stir so, flustered, you closed your eyes and pretended to be asleep. you felt him lift his head and do the same thing you were just doing– trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. 

he began to pull away and you thought that this weird situation was over, but instead, you heard the bunk curtain be pulled closed and then felt his arms come back to wrap tightly around your body. 

you hated to admit it to yourself, but this made you very happy. his skin was warm against yours and his strong arms held you perfectly. with one hand, his fingers played with the ends of your hair and the other spread across your lower back, holding you to him comfortably. 

you both fell back asleep after a while and when you woke up the next morning you were separated, both your backs turned towards the other. 

—-

although neither of you acknowledged what had happened– as far as you knew he didn’t even know that you were awake, the tone changed in your relationship. you didn’t become best friends by any means, but there were no more rude remarks or jabs, he even helped you climb down from the bunk when you got up since your legs couldn’t reach the floor.     

the other boys noticed and were understandably confused. at one point Brandon mentioned it and you and Nick shared a look before shrugging and continuing to eat your breakfast, leaving him even more confused than before. 

Brandon and Edwin had a doctor’s appointment and the other three boys went to practice the choreography for their show so you were alone on the bus for a little while. 

you used the opportunity to take a quick shower, then got dressed in a comfy oversized tee shirt and small athletic shorts and started to head out to the main area of the bus. you stopped in your tracks when you saw Nick sitting at the small booth in the main area, elbows leaned on the table. 

you made brief eye contact with him as you entered but looked away quickly and went to the kitchenette to get a snack. in your peripheral vision, you saw him stand, but you didn’t look over even when you felt him getting closer to you.

you jumped when his hands softly landed on your hips, your whole body stiffening. 

“I know you were awake last night,” he said softly in your ear, his breath hot against your neck. 

“W-what?” you stuttered, feigning confusion. 

one of his hands wrapped further around you and pulled your back into his front, the other hand moved a piece of your hair to give him room to place his chin on your shoulder. 

“I felt your heartbeat speed up when i held you… i felt your breathing speed up,” he said, turning his head to look at the side of your face and waiting for you to respond. 

“I…” you sighed and looked around the room, trying to gather your thoughts, “i was nervous…” 

“Why?” the question was impossible to answer seeing as you had no idea why you were nervous.

“I don’t know.” you shook your head, you could feel your cheeks heating up and you turned your face away so that he couldn’t see you blush. 

“Look at me,” he said sternly, his deep voice somehow making you listen. you turned your face to look at him and were met with kind eyes, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. 

“What?” you questioned anxiously. 

“I liked it…” he said quietly, his hand playing with the bottom of your shirt. 

“you… liked it? what?” you scoffed in disbelief. 

“yeah,” he spoke calmly, “i liked it.” 

he then pulled away and looked at you as he stepped towards the door of the bus, he then turned fully and left. leaving you feeling flustered, your mind racing. 

a few moments later Brandon and Edwin arrived back from their appointment and you had to pretend like everything was normal. 

—-

as you watched their show that night, you couldn’t keep your eyes from drifting over to Nick. thankfully, because of the intense lights they had shining on him, he wasn’t able to see you well enough to notice. 

you wouldn’t say that you were looking forward to going to bed tonight, but you were certainly curious if he would try something. your interaction earlier that day had jarred you and you weren’t sure how to proceed. 

after the show, you all went out and got drinks. you ended up getting back to the bus late, all of the boys pretty drunk. you giggled at them as they stumbled around the bus looking for different things. 

you got ready for bed quickly, putting on a big tee shirt and boyshorts then washing your face and brushing your teeth. you migrated back to the bunk area, peeking your head into the main room to say goodnight to the boys on the way. 

when you got to Nick’s bunk you climbed in and covered yourself with the blanket, then pulled out your phone and began scrolling through Instagram and checking in with your friends at home. you looked over when you heard someone in the hallway next to the bunk, peeking through the small gap between the wall and the curtain and saw Nick slipping on a shirt, hair wet from the shower. 

you watched carefully as he pulled back the curtain and climbed into bed, shutting off your phone and placing it to the side. he laid facing you, arms crossed in front of his chest. at that moment you wanted nothing more than to lean forward and bury your face in his chest and feel the fabric of his soft, dark green tee shirt against your skin. 

you lifted your hand and played with the fabric on the sleeve of his shirt, his eyes stayed glued to your face as he considered his next move. he sighed, throwing caution to the wind, placing a hand on your hip and pulling you into him. you wrapped your arms around his neck and sighed in contentment. he buried his head in your neck and ran his hand up and down your back. 

“Hi.” you smiled and played with the hair at the back of his head. 

“Hi there,” he whispered back, smiling against your shoulder. you scratched his back gently as he did the same to you.     

you giggled when he wrapped his hand around the back of your thigh and pulled it to drape over his waist, his hand then resting on top of it, thumb caressing your skin. 

“Hey, Nick?” you whispered softly, unable to keep yourself from questioning this whole situation. 

“Hm?” he responded sleepily, hand moving to rest on your side. 

“What does this… mean?” you struggled to find the proper words to ask him. 

“I’m not sure,” he answered truthfully and then moved his head to look at you, “But i know that I don’t want it to stop.” 

you looked at him for a moment before asking the question that had been on the tip of your tongue, “Why were you always so mean to me?” you asked earnestly, hoping that the answer isn’t hurtful. 

“Because Brandon liked you… so i couldn’t like you too because that would make me a bad friend,” he said, looking into your eyes and nodding his head once to make his point, “then after that, i didn’t know how to change the dynamic so i just let it stay the same.” 

“But Brandon has a girlfriend.” you shook your head, not fully buying his answer. 

“He didn’t two years ago when he introduced you to us,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Shit…” you stared at his face as you realized that what he was saying was true. you knew that Brandon had feelings for you at one time, but you didn’t know about them until after they were long gone. 

“Yeah.” he chuckled at you and then bit his lip, “I’m sorry about all that by the way,” he said honestly.

“I’m not upset about it… i wasn’t too kind either.” you cringed as you thought back to some of your past conversations with him, wishing you could reclaim your words. 

“I’m not worried about it.” he smiled and shifted slightly closer to you, the tip of his nose brushing against yours. 

“Okay.” you smiled and played with the collar of his shirt, pulling at a loose thread and then looking back to meet his eyes. 

you fell asleep like that, wrapped up in each other’s embrace. both of you uncertain about the future, but excited by it at the same time. 

****

This is a long one guys! idk why but this request just sent me, man. it’s like purely fluff, but lemme know if you want me to write a part 2 that goes in a different direction or one that keeps going in a similar direction to this :P Thanks for the fun request @prettydamnmuchinlove !

[apriorisea]

BTS Imagine: When You’re Sick - Jimin

Sinking to your knees weakly, you reach out to flush the toilet. You groan as you feel your stomach churn again---throwing up was absolutely your least favorite thing to do. You hated it. You would do literally anything to avoid throwing up. And yet here you were, 3:07 in the morning, hunched over the toilet and doing the thing you hated most in the world. 

    You hear the bathroom door open just as your stomach heaves again and you lean over the bowl, tears stinging your eyes.      “Oh, babygirl,” Jimin says softly, and you feel him pull your hair back from your face. Holding it in a messy ponytail in one hand, he rubs your back with the other. “It’s okay, you’re okay...”     As soon as you can, you straighten, flushing away the mess again. You reach up to wipe at your eyes and do a quick systems check; deciding you were okay for just a moment longer, you start to get to your feet.      “Easy,” he says, releasing your hair to wrap his arm around your waist in support. “You ok?”     “Need to rinse my mouth,” you mutter, heading for the sink.      He helps you get there and once again holds your hair back while you swish a mouthful of water, trying to rid yourself of the reminder. “How long have you been up?” he asks, one arm wrapped tight around your waist to keep you upright. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”     You laugh bitterly and spit the water out. “Didn’t really have time to do anything but get to the toilet,” you say tiredly. “And I’m sure the first thing you want to do is join me while I’m throwing up everything in my stomach.” Straightening, you turn to face him, trying to put on a brave smile.      He frowns, reaching out to gently push your hair away from your pale face. “What did you eat? Do you think it’s food poisoning?”     You shrug, but soon the sharp cramps in your stomach guide you to your answer. “Maybe. ...Are you feeling okay?”     “Yes. Oh, babygirl, I’m so sorry.” He leans down to kiss your sweaty forehead. “Do you want to go back to bed?”     You hesitate for a moment, trying to decipher how you’re feeling: though your stomach hurts, you don’t seem to be in immediate danger of throwing up again. “Yeah. You should get back to sleep, babe, you’ve got work tomorrow.”     “I don’t have that much work,” he says immediately. “I’m just worried about you.”     “It’s okay. I’ll get over it...” you reassure him, turning away to head back to the bedroom, but before you can take two steps, he scoops you into his arms. “Jimin, what--?”     He cradles you against him, easily carrying you back to the bed and setting you down softly. “Just relax,” he says, leaning over to kiss your forehead again. You see his concerned expression just briefly before he forces a cheerful smile. “I’m going to go get a bottle of cola,” he explains. “I think that will help settle your stomach. I’ll be right back!”     While he’s gone, you lean back in bed, settling gingerly against the pillows and resisting the urge to groan at how much your stomach just hurts. Reaching for your phone, you type a short email to your professors, explaining that you wouldn’t be in class the next day, then set your phone aside. It’s too close to midterms for this...    Jimin appears just then, carrying a bottle of cola, a bottle of water, and a bottle of sports drink with him. “What’s wrong?” he asks immediately, frowning at the obvious pain on your face.     “It just hurts,” you say, rolling onto your side and curling into a ball.      He sits on the edge of the bed, his distress apparent. “What can I do?” Setting the three bottles on the nightstand, he grabs at the sweatshirt fabric at your hip. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”     Both arms still wrapped across your stomach, you manage a reassuring smile. “No.”     “But---”     “If it’s still this bad tomorrow, then maybe we can go,” you interrupt him, reaching out to put your hand on his leg. “But right now I just want to...”     “Rest,” he finishes for you. Reaching out, he softly strokes your face. “Okay, babygirl, okay. Here.” He grabs the bottle of cola and opens it carefully. “Try a sip of this.”     With his help, you manage a few swallows of soda. “Thanks.” You smile at him weakly. “Hopefully this will kill whatever I’ve got.”     He sits back a little, pushing his hair absently out of his face. “Yeah...”      “Hey.” You wait for him to look back at you. “I’m all right. Come lie down, go back to sleep.”     As soon as he meets your eye, his cheerful positivity is back. “All right, all right, just a second. First, is there anything I can get for you? Something that will make you more comfortable?” When you shake your head, he frowns slightly. “Are you sure?”     You nod, grimacing slightly as your stomach cramps again. “I just...just gotta get through the worst of it.”     He’s definitely not happy about it, but he accepts your diagnosis. Leaning down, he spreads a few soft kisses across your forehead and temple. “You will. I’m right here, okay?” Standing up, he fixes the blanket over your feet. “I think it’s a good sign that---”     Before he can finish, you kick the blanket off and roll off the bed, stumbling for the bathroom once again. You don’t even bother to turn on the light, heading straight for the toilet in the dark. As you make it to your target, the lights suddenly burst to life, and in seconds you feel Jimin gathering your hair again. This time he doesn’t say much: he simply holds your hair back and keeps a careful grip on your waist.      You’re left exhausted, and when you move to sit on the floor to rest for just a second, he moves with you. Instead of collapsing against the toilet seat, you’re pulled into his arms, where he does his best to keep you off the cold tile floor while you recover.      Pressing his lips to the side of your head, he murmurs, “I guess I spoke too soon.”     You’re too worn out to do anything but nod slightly. With how hard you always fought not to throw up, you forgot how much it takes out of you.      He kisses your temple again. “Ready to rinse your mouth?”    You agree, but before you can even move, he’s getting to his feet with you still cradled in his arms. He carries you over to the sink and sets you gently on the counter, turning on the faucet to a comfortable temperature. While he waits for you to swish the water around your mouth, he’s constantly touching you, squeezing your knee or rubbing your back or tucking your hair behind your ear, little gestures that betray how worried he is.      When you finally feel a little refreshed, you lean back against the mirror tiredly. “I hate throwing up,” you say flatly.      This causes the corner of his mouth to tilt up just slightly. “I know, babygirl,” he commiserates, grabbing your hand and pressing your knuckles against his lips briefly.      “Just...ugh, it’s the absolute worst way to...to get rid of things,” you continue, your eyes closed pitifully.      This brings an actual laugh, which makes you feel just a tiny bit better. He kisses your cheek. “I believe you.”     You open your eyes to study him. “I can’t believe you’re even able to be around me right now,” you say. “This is pretty disgusting. I’m pretty disgusting.”     Clucking his tongue, he tucks your hair behind your ear again. “You’re pretty,” he corrects, then grows more serious: “And very sick.”     “I really hope it’s not a stomach bug. You probably should stay away from me, just in case.”     “No chance. I’ll be fine. What can I do for you?”     “Jimin.”     “Do you want to go lie down again? Or...?” A tiny bit of his concern bleeds through. “Do you want to stay in here?”     You study him again. He was so protective of you---so overprotective at times---that you could easily see how he was spinning this from a simple case of stomach flu or food poisoning into something much, much worse. For all of his pretending, he was a worrier---just like you. Smiling faintly, you reach for his hand again. “I think I’m going to sit here for just a second longer. Just...just to be sure. You can go lie down again, if you need to?”     Squeezing your hand, he eases himself on the counter next to you somewhat defiantly.      Knowing that you wouldn’t be able to change his mind, you sigh, but can’t deny how much you like having him near you. You lean back against the mirror, letting your thoughts drift while you waited to see what your stomach was thinking. “I hate how weak it makes me feel,” you admit after a second. “Like...I’m just exhausted, but I didn’t even do anything, you know?”     “You did do something,” he defends. “Throwing up is really hard on the body. You’re allowed to feel a little exhausted and ‘weak’.”      You nod. There’s a pause, then: “...I bet it was that eggroll my study partner brought in this morning. I knew I shouldn’t have had a bite.” Your stomach gurgles at the mere mention of the food.       “You should text her right now, see how she feels.” There’s a faint glimmer of pettiness behind his suggestion, another symptom of his over-protectiveness showing through.       Slapping his leg weakly, you shake your head. “I’m sure she feels just as miserable as me.” You look over at him. “Except worse, because she doesn’t have you to take care of her.” Your stomach lurches suddenly and you lean forward, waiting to see if you needed to hurry back to your old friend once again; he sits forward with you, his expression concerned. After a moment, you sit back. “I’m okay. False alarm.”     Nodding, he continues his forward motion, disappearing from the bathroom for just a second. When he returns, he has the bottle of yellow sports drink with him. “We need to keep your electrolytes up,” he explains, handing it to you. “Keep you hydrated.” He notices your glum expression. “I know you don’t like the yellow kind, but we don’t have anything else. I’ll go out in a few hours and get you more.”     “No, I---” You shake your head and reach for the bottle. “You definitely don’t have to do that. The yellow is just fine. I just...I don’t want to drink anything right now, you know?”     He caresses the side of your face. “Yeah, I know. But still---”     “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you agree, guzzling some of the drink and showing your own slightly petty side. When you finish, you realize how much you want to lie down. “I think I’m ready to go back to bed. My stomach’s pretty calm for right now.”     He nods and immediately moves to scoop you into his arms again.     “Why---?”     “This,” he says, holding you against him carefully, “is non-negotiable.” Looking into your face, he smiles slightly. “Come on, just let me take care of my babygirl, ok? I can’t make you magically stop throwing up, but I can do this.”     You give in easily, hating to admit how much you liked being babied by him but comforting yourself with the fact that it also helped soothe his own nerves. He sets you down just as carefully as before, kisses your cheek, and then crawls on the bed next to you. You try to find a position that doesn’t aggravate you more while he gingerly reaches over you to turn off your bedside lamp, then reaches for his phone. After a second, the quirky intro of one of your favorite podcasts plays and he leans back against the headboard next to you. He smooths a strand of your hair back, then shifts to gently stroking your face, absently tracing your eyebrows as the sound fills the room.     You let your eyes close at the familiar touch. “Is this a new episode?”     “Last week’s,” he explains, keeping his voice soft. “So it’s still kind of new, but not new enough to keep you from sleeping.”     “Ah. Smart.”     He responds by leaning over to kiss your forehead. “Go to sleep, babygirl. Just relax as much as you can. I’m right here.”     “I know, Jimin,” you agree, relieved to feel the cramps in your stomach ease up enough that you can feel sleep pulling at you. “Thank you.”

-

90 minutes later, you’re woken by the familiar, unpleasant feeling in your gut. You bolt upright, swinging your feet out of the bed in a hurry; you’re so focused on getting to the bathroom, you don’t even notice the way Jimin wakes in an absolute panic.     As you kneel in front of the stupid toilet yet again, you miserably realize that this was going to be one of those elongated moments, where your body was going to drag out the inevitable for as long as possible. Groaning, you close your eyes and wish for it to be over.     “It’s all right, babygirl,” you hear his soft, exhausted voice behind you. “I’m so sorry.” While you’re waiting, he starts braiding your hair; it’s messy, but the style keeps your hair out of your face well enough. He massages the small of your back.     You go to shake your head, but feel your stomach lurch at that exact moment, and any comment you had in mind evaporates immediately. When you’re done, he carries you back to the sink, waiting patiently for you to rinse out your mouth before carrying you back to bed. He makes you drink more of the sports drink, then tucks you back in.      This time, you cuddle against him, needing his comfort more than your space. “I hate this,” you complain to the darkness.     He hugs you closer. “I know.” Then, “....Do you want to go to the hospital?”    You sigh. “No. It just sucks, that’s all.”    Kissing the top of your head, he murmurs an agreement. 

-

You wake up to throw up 2 more times before you’re finally able to fall into a deeper sleep. When your eyes open again, you look first at the clock: 8:36am. Your gaze automatically goes to the man next to you, who’s slowly waking up at your movement.      “Jimin---work?” you say worriedly, trying to blink the exhaustion out of your eyes. “What---”     He shakes his head, sitting up partially. “Don’t worry. Are you okay?” He’s instinctively getting ready to guide you to the bathroom once again.      “I’m not going to throw up right now,” you answer. “Do you know what time it is?”     He glances at the clock. “Not time for you to be awake yet,” he answers mildly. “You haven’t had enough sleep, not even close.” Seeing your concern, he fixes a strand of your hair. “I’m taking the day off. Don’t worry, babygirl. How are you feeling?”     You take a moment to consider his question. Though you were feeling a little better, your stomach still felt sick and every muscle in your body was exhausted. “I’m....a little better,” you try to answer truthfully and hopefully.      “Really?” he asks intently, searching your face for the truth.      “Yeah. I’m just...worn out. Not even just tired, but....you know, worn out.”     He nods and starts to climb out of bed. “I know.”     “Wh---where are you going?” you frown, struggling to sit up a little.      He tiredly pulls on a sweatshirt and looks for a hat. “The CU. You need more sports drink.”     “Jimin...”     “Shh.” He grabs one of his masks from the dresser and comes over to kiss your forehead again before sliding it on. “Is it the red kind you like, or the blue?”     You exhale softly. “Either.” When he gives you a look, you add, “No, really! Anything but yellow, truthfully. But I know you’re exhausted. Just come sleep a little longer, I don’t need anything right this second.”     He squeezes your hand and you can see his smile even behind his mask. “I’ll be back as soon as i can. Call me if you need anything, ok?” Before he leaves, he turns on the TV, knowing how much you hate complete silence. Pressing his hand to his masked mouth, he gives you a small flying kiss and leaves.     You’d only been alone 12 minutes when your phone starts ringing. Still curled on your side, you pull your gaze away from the morning news and glance at your phone screen. Frowning slightly, you see Hoseok’s name on the caller ID. “Hello?”     “How are you???” he asks immediately.      The intensity in his voice startles you. “I’m--I’m okay. Not feeling great, but---”     “But you’re okay??” he demands.     “Well...yes---”     His relieved sigh rushes over the line. “Oh good. I’m gonna kill Jimin, he made it sound like you were on death’s door.”     So protective. “Well, you know how he is,” you sigh. “But I’m really okay. Think it’s a little bit of food poisoning.”      “Ugh,” he hums sympathetically. “That is the worst. Do you need anything?”     “Just to get over this bug,” you sigh.      “Well, you make sure that he’s working hard to take care of you!” he says, and you can hear the fond smile in his tone. “If not, you can send him back to us, we’ll straighten him out.”     It makes you smile, too. “Sounds good. Thanks for checking, Hoseok. Sorry about the panic.”     “It’s fine,” he shrugs it off easily. “You’d think I’d know by now...”     “You really would,” you tease. “I’ll talk to you later.”     “Feel better soon!” he says cheerfully, and the line goes dead.      30 seconds after the call ends, you hear Jimin open the front door. When he appears in the doorway to the bedroom, he’s carrying a plastic bag filled with sports drinks. Pulling his mask off, he gives you a smile. “How are you?”     “Still the same.” You hold your phone up. “Just talked to Hoseok.”     “Oh?” he asks distractedly, pawing through the plastic bag.      “Did you infer that I was dying or something?”     He looks up quickly, and you can see from his expression that he’s guilty. “No! Well, I...not dying, definitely not, but...You were so sick last night, babygirl, you had me really worried.”     You smile fondly, your exasperation fading. “You took really good care of me, babe,” you say. “Thank you.”     Setting the bag on the foot of the bed, he sits next to you, leaning over to kiss your forehead for a long time. “I’m sorry you don’t feel well. We’ll get you through this.” He reaches for the bag with one hand, his eyes never leaving your face. “I got all the non-yellow sports drinks I could find!”     This makes you laugh. “Then I’ll be better in no time!”     He strokes the side of your face tenderly. “I hope so, babygirl. But I’m here until then.”     Before you can respond, you feel your stomach twist and you start to sit up. “Lucky you,” you manage, before racing to the bathroom once again. You know without even having to look back that he’ll follow you, protecting and taking care of you once again.

[swimmingnewsie]

Gone Home

Link to AO3

---

The sun shone brightly in the fields of the Northuldra camp. Winter was quickly approaching, apparent by the snow left from the evening before. It soon would be melt, but Elsa didn’t mind. She was home. 

It had been ten years since she abdicated her throne, leaving her sister in charge of Arendelle and its people. The journey here was scary. But once Elsa had accepted her role amongst the spirits, things changed for the better. Her powers grew day by day, and with that growth, her control did as well. With her powers under control, she was finally able to see the other parts of life that her sister had dreamed of when they were children. Things of love and marriage. 

A family.

As time passed, Elsa and Honeymaren discovered they held a bond for each other that neither could imagine. The Northuldra believed love could happen between any two souls, different from what Elsa had learned as a young girl. Honeymaren had taken a chance, and Elsa had fallen head over heels. 

They married during Elsa’s third winter with the tribe. It was a simple ceremony, far smaller than she would have endured in Arendelle. It was a dream better than she could ever imagine.

More time passed. Elsa thrived in the forest, bringing peace to nature in her elements. Anna thrived in Arendelle, leading to prosperous years of happiness and wealth. They had less time now, but there was always time for each other. Anna now had the large family she had always wanted, and Elsa was more than elated to be a part of it. Especially as it meant being Auntie Elsa to her four wonderful children. Add in Honeymaren’s family as well as Kristoff’s and there was more than enough love to go around. There were no more closed doors.

Elsa smiled at the baby girl in her arms. Laila had come to them unexpectedly. Four months ago, a new mother in the tribe passed shortly after childbirth, while the father was an Arendeillian soldier who previously sacrificed his life protecting Anna from an assassination attempt. Yelena had asked if they would take her in, and Elsa didn’t give it a second thought. 

Laila opened her little eyes and gazed at her mama. 

“Good morning, ladybug,” Elsa whispered, conjuring a few snowflakes above the baby’s head. “Did you have a nice nap?” Laila cooed, opening her mouth to catch the falling pieces. 

“I bet you did. You looked so peaceful.” She twirled a little curl on her daughter’s head. She had the same dark Northuldran hair her mother and Honeymaren had had. If only her mother could see them now. Elsa, a mother herself. She never thought this would be her life. 

Elsa gave her daughter small kisses to the head. “We’re going to go see your Auntie Anna and Uncle Kristoff and all your cousins tomorrow. I can’t wait to show you the castle. Show you where Auntie Anna and I grew up.”  Since the birth of Laila, Elsa hadn’t been back to Arendelle. Nokk wasn’t the easiest creature for a newborn to ride on afterall. And even though Anna and Kristoff came and visited their niece, it wasn’t the same going herself. Homesick, Elsa and Honeymaren had arranged for a sleigh to take them home tomorrow.

Laila cooed and gurgled up at her mama once again. Elsa simply smiled, tickling her young daughter’s belly, when a wind brushed by feverishly.

“Hello, Gale!”

The wind spirit wasn’t their happy relaxed self, however. Gale was erratic, causing far more movement than they ever had before. They carried a note. Sensing something was wrong, Elsa settled Laila onto her side and reached out to read the note.

Elsa,

Anna is sick. Very sick. I’m scared. I don’t want to worry the kids. Please help.

Kristoff

Before even reading the second sentence, Elsa was up tucking Laila into her pouch. “We’re leaving a little earlier than I expected, ladybug."

“I’m coming, Anna.”

----

A half-hour later, Elsa was barging through the Arendellian gates on Nokk, Laila held tight to her chest. Elsa couldn’t delay this trip until tomorrow. She needed to get to Anna. She needed to get to Anna now.

When she entered the corridor to Anna’s chambers, there was a shell of a man sitting outside her door. His eyes were tired, hair messy, and face puffy with tears. “Elsa?” he asked with disbelief.

“Where’s Anna? I need to see her.”

Kristoff stood, dusting himself off. “She’s sleeping in our bed. I wouldn’t go in there yet-”

But before he could finish his sentence, Elsa had bolted into the room. 

The sight crushed her soul. She hadn’t seen Anna this sickly since they were children. All the color was gone from her face; she was breathing heavy and wheezing. What had happened?

“Anna?’ she whispered quietly, touching her sister’s burning forehead. Tears dripped down her face and snow began to fall around her. She would have stayed there forever if it weren’t for Laila’s cries. Not wanting to wake her sister, Elsa left the room bouncing her infant.

“Kristoff, you have five minutes to explain what happened to my sister in there,” she said with the regal authority she hadn’t had in years. 

Kristoff sighed, trying to settle himself. "Leif came home from lessons with a bad flu a few weeks ago. And you know how Anna is. She'll give anything for the boys. So instead of delegating her tasks to everyone else, she served as Queen and doting mother." Elsa nodded. She herself had done that when Anna was ill. "Well, it was fine when it was just Leif. But then Leif gave it to Eli who gave it to the twins. Four sick kids and royal duties didn't go over well.

"We both knew we would be at the receiving end of this illness, but I didn't know how bad it would get." Kristoff wiped at his eyes trying to keep composure. "She had the same symptoms as the boys, and so did I. But I got better and well... You've seen."

Elsa looked at her brother-in-law with anger. “You mean to tell me, my sister has been sick for God knows how long, and you’re just now telling me about it?” 

Kristoff shook his head. “You have Laila. She doesn’t need to be anywhere near this. The twins are three, and they’re still recovering two weeks later. There’s no telling what would happen if she caught it. We thought it would resolve itself. But obviously it didn’t.”

Elsa bit her lip and heaved a sigh. He was right. She was putting her daughter at risk having her near Anna. “You still should have told me.” Elsa gave a deep breath, focusing her energy inward. “I need to send a message to Honeymaren. I’m not leaving until this is settled.”

Kristoff nodded again, sighing. “I didn’t think you would.”

---

"I drew you a bath." Honeymaren wrapped her arms around Elsa, bringing her out of her thoughts. "You need to unwind for a little, my sweet."

Elsa shook her head again, not giving into her wife's comfort. It had only been hours since she returned to Arendelle but it felt as though it had been days. "There's too many things to be done. Trade agreements need to be read, I need to get Leif ready for this briefing, we need to put Laila to bed-"

Honeymaren stopped her wife with a kiss. "It's late. Laila is in one of the boys’ old cradles. Kristoff and I put the other kids to bed, including your young student, and those agreements can wait until morning." A little more forcefully, she tugged at Elsa's sleeves. "Bathtub. Now."

Elsa sighed. There was no point in arguing with her. It was late and after today, a bath sounded wonderful. "Okay, bumblebee. Bath time." She could see the look of glee on Honey's face, making her less remorseful of lost working hours.

Gently, Honey helped her wife out of her gowns and into the bath. Elsa visibly relaxed at the heat. Hot springs in the mountains were nice, but a bath in her old home couldn't be beat. "Aren't you going to join me?" she asked slyly.

Maren gave a small chuckle. "In a minute, love." Her hands wandered to the various soaps and oils at her disposal. She poured a small amount into her hands and began working through Elsa's hair. 

"Let me take care of you for a while."

Elsa laid back letting her wife massage her scalp. Her hair was far shorter than it had been in her youth but the sensation was still wonderful. It took her mind off of all that had happened that day. 

Anna. Her sweet sister was dancing with death. Watching her lie there riddled with pain was a sight she had never hoped to see. 

As if that were not bad enough, she was in charge of helping Anna's oldest son Leif navigate royal affairs. Kristoff had learned plenty in his nine years as prince consort. But no one else knew ruling Arendelle like Elsa. And thus Elsa was teaching him how to be the prince regent, far earlier than he should have. It was a cursed parallel of fate; but, cursed or not, they needed to be prepared.

Elsa was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed Honeymaren crawl in beside her. Her wife wiped away a stray tear from her cheek, and that's all it took for Elsa to break. The temperature dropped drastically; the water around them crackling as small bits froze. She couldn’t even bring herself to apologize for her magic. The tears kept falling, and all Honeymaren could do was hold her wife tight until she had exhausted herself.

What else could she do?

---

Elsa slipped back into the monarchy routine almost as if she hadn't left ten years ago. Meetings with Leif, though numerous, were manageable. As an advisor, she helped him navigate agreements that Anna had been working on before she fell sick. She helped him hold court, allowing the villagers to bring their complaints. She even helped him prepare the month's budget report. For being so young, he was doing quite well.

Her days were packed full, loud and bustling as she navigated royal duties and helping care for Anna's children and Laila. Though there was more stacked on her plate, the balance was easier now than when she reigned. 

But the best part of her days was when Honeymaren would take Laila for a walk to help settle her down, and Kristoff was tucking his own lot into bed. Elsa was able to go and sit by Anna's bedside. Sometimes she would read. Sometimes she would talk. Sometimes she would just sit. 

Anna's condition was serious, but stable. She was fighting hard everyday, but the illness rendered her unconscious most of the time. If she was awake for four hours a day it was a lot. The way Elsa saw it though, if she was sleeping, then her body would recover.

"Good evening, Anna," Elsa said, her voice quiet. She placed a frosty hand to Anna's forehead in an attempt at relieving her from the relentless fever. For now though, her sister was resting soundly; and the way she saw it, if she was sleeping, her body would recover faster. "Are you having a good sleep?"

Anna muttered in her sleep, picking at her bedsheets. She had been doing that a lot lately. It made Elsa wonder what she was dreaming about. 

"I'm going to read to you, okay?" Elsa reached out and held her sister's limp hand. She gave it a quick squeeze and began to read through the novel. "Now where did we leave off?"

She read softly for a while, letting herself get lost in the moment. It was nice. Not as nice as the times when Anna was awake, but Elsa was glad to bring her sister some comfort in her sleep. As she read, Anna broke out into harsh painful coughs. Panic had spread across her face.

"Elsà!" she managed, clutching at her chest.

Elsa dropped the book like a hot coal, rushing to help her sister sit up. "It's okay. You're okay." She rubbed circles in her back, trying to help her get the coughs up. 

"Can't- can't breathe!" Anna shouted, voice raspy. "Help!" Her coughs wracking through her body.

Elsa could feel her own panic rise. "I'm here, Anna. I'm here. Can you drink some water for me?" She shakily handed her sister a glass, hopeful to alleviate the coughs. But Anna could barely stop long enough to swallow, worrying Elsa even more. 

The wind around Elsa moved briskly, Gale making themselves known. "Gale, I need you to get the physician. Now." And as quickly as they had made themselves present, they were gone.

"I've got you, Anna. I've got you..."

Magic flowed through her fingers. She couldn't let this fever take her sister. Not now. The ice froze over her fingertips. She put one hand on Anna's back and another on the back of her neck. She prayed to the spirits beyond to let her ice pass through and heal.

Anna’s breathing slowed, her eyes looking far tamer. “Feels good, ‘sa,” she choked out. 

Elsa shushed her sister. “Save your strength and let me help.” Her ice works slowly down Anna’s body, attempting to cool her from the inside out. “Can you feel it in your chest?” Anna nodded, able to relax slightly. She gave a productive cough and another. Elsa could feel her sister’s relief as her shoulders dropped. “Just let it out. You’re getting there.”

Soon Anna’s breathing had regulated, her exhaustion evident. “Thank you, Elsie,” she said, tears prickling from her eyes. “Feel cool.” She gave a small smile. Elsa quickly took the hand off her neck and pressed it to Anna’s forehead.

The fever had broken.

---

“It was your magic wasn’t it?”

Days later, Anna was sitting up in bed sipping on hot tea. She was still quite weak from the weeks of illness, but she was certainly on the mend.

Elsa sipped at her own tea, gaze fixed on the window. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Your ice broke my fever,” she stated bluntly. “There’s no other way. Not with- not with how it felt before.”

Elsa sighed, finding no reason to keep up the charade. “I didn’t know if it would work. But I had to do something, Anna. You were in so much pain.” 

Anna set aside her tea and reached to embrace her sister. Elsa could feel the wet drip of tears fall on her shoulder. “I was going to die, and you- you saved me.” Tears fell freely.

Elsa returned the warm embrace. “And I would do it all again in a heartbeat.”

She would do it again and again and again. For as long as she could, Elsa had sworn to protect all she could: the woods, Atohallan, Arendelle. But spiritual oath or not, she would go to the ends of the Earth for Anna. They did this together, and would continue to do it together. Nothing was going to stop that, and certainly not today.

[cee693]

“I missed you last night.”

Three times Barry couldn’t sleep without Iris there and the one time he did.

For most of their lives Barry and Iris have existed as a complementary pair. 

Iris was practical and structured and laid-back. Barry was emotional and messy and a bit sad.

Iris compartmentalized her pain to get through the day- a lot of times to an unhealthy degree. But, she always thought it was better to keep moving.

Barry halted the world or retreated from it when the pain got too much. 

If she felt like an emotion would keep her up at night, Iris suppressed it. She controlled it. More often than not, she ignored it. 

Barry wallowed in it. 

They were opposite, but they weren't all different. They shared many similarities: same food choices, the same taste in music, the same humor. 

They also shared a co-dependency. The healthiness of which was still up for debate. But even that manifested in different ways. 

Iris's need for Barry ran deep. It was penetrating and resided at the center of her. Without Barry by her side Iris became somewhat of a robot. Just running on auto-pilot, never stopping long enough to take in a world without him. 

Barry's need for Iris was consuming. It wasn't just in his center, it was in every part of him. So when he was without her, his body seemed to stop functioning. The results of her absence were physical for him. 

And the most common side effect of being disconnected from his other half was a complete inability to sleep. 

The first time Barry tried to sleep without Iris was her first night away at college. 

Well, that's not true. 

It was her sixth night away, but it was Barry's first in the house without her. 

He'd helped Joe move Iris in the Thursday before. Then he'd stayed behind for the weekend under the guise of them having one last hurray on labor day before her classes started the following Wednesday.

Iris opting for a single dorm after a hellish experience during her overnight visit to the school last year meant that Barry could stay over with no fuss. 

They'd made the most of their weekend, sticking close together all day everyday. Pretending to ignore the dread both of them felt of their imminent separation. 

Now he was back home and his stomach was in knots and he had class in -he checked his phone- four hours and his eyes weren't even a little droopy. 

A deep groan reverberated through the hallway outside his bedroom and Barry huffed. He never noticed how loud Joe's house was. 

The creaks and groans of the place were painful and numerous.

He felt sick. He had since he'd stepped on the train back to Central City. 

He was running over how to milk his symptoms to Joe in a few hours when his laptop started beeping. 

Barry's head jolted clean off his pillow in fright but he recovered and fumbled around for the computer by his bed. 

He was getting a skype call. From Iris. 

He sat up so quickly he got lightheaded. He pressed connect immediately and was greeted to Iris smiling sheepishly at him. 

"Hey, Barr. Did I wake you up?" she whispered. 

"Not at all," Barry told her. 

"I can't sleep," she revealed. "It's too quiet over here."

Barry chuckled. "It's too loud over here."

"Is my dad snoring again?" Iris wondered and they both shared a hearty laugh. 

"So, what did you do today?" Barry asked laying back down. The mysterious knots in his stomach unfurled almost immediately. 

Iris ran through her activities and they both pretended like they didn't already have this exact same conversation when he'd called her a few hours earlier after dinner. 

Then she asked Barry what he'd been up to and the two best friends were off; talking about anything and everything under the sun. Stifling their laughter so they wouldn't wake up Joe. 

They fell asleep sometime in the rising twilight, their faces close to their laptops as if that would close the distance between them.

When Barry woke up in the morning, he saw that his computer was still on. Skype still connected. And he was blessed with the sight of Iris's sleeping face facing him. 

His fingers itched to screen capture the image, but he didn't want to invade her privacy like that.

Instead he settled back down and watched her sleep through half-lidded eyes until she woke up too. 

They talked for another half hour before both of their alarms went off and they had to start their day. 

And as he got ready for class, Barry expected his neck and shoulders to be stiff from the awkward position he slept in, but he felt more rested and pliant than he had in awhile.

He wouldn't admit it, but Barry had been harboring a lot of fear about this new chapter in their lives. He was worried that college would reveal that he and Iris had nothing in common expect for the shared trauma of his mother's murder. That they had only been so close because they'd been forced to reside in the same space.

Not only had last night proved him completely wrong, it was also the best night's sleep he'd had in ages. 

The next time Barry struggled to sleep apart from Iris was after they'd began sharing a bed in the biblical sense. 

Iris had come down with a horrible bout of the flu and Barry had been doting on her constantly. But after a meta similar to Melting Pot touched him, Barry had been left with some of his abilities out of whack. Including his formerly rock-solid immune system. 

Iris had moved into one of the guest rooms to avoid getting Barry sick and it was taking every argument she had to stop him from moving in there with her too.

She'd sequestered herself in spite of Barry's protests and had made it through most of the day with him respecting her wishes. But, that night she roused from sleep and took in a very frustrating scene. 

"Barry," Iris wheezed, her voice raspy and congested. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not touching you. It's fine," he whispered quickly. 

It was the middle of the night. Two a.m., maybe later. And Barry was sneaking into her room carrying an armful of pillows and blankets. 

He hadn't meant to wake her. He knew that she would protest him sleeping on the floor, but what could he do?

"I've been coughing up a lung in here all day," Iris struggled to speak. "The room is completely contaminated. Get out."

Barry knew Iris was being blunt for his own sake, but there wasn't a chance of him leaving to sleep in their bed alone.

It didn't even feel like a bed. It felt like he was laying on a frozen slab of concrete. 

Iris accused him of exaggerating and being dramatic when he relayed this to her. 

"I can't sleep without your legs between mine."

"You complain about my feet being too cold every single night," Iris retorted. 

Barry grinned bashfully. That was true. But he mostly complained because it always made Iris laugh and rub her legs against his in retribution.

He promised to sleep on the floor and though she didn't agree with him staying in the room, Iris was far too tired to argue.

She watched Barry meticulously lay out his blankets and pillows by the bed with drooping eyes. She still wasn't fully asleep when she felt Barry lean over her and softly kiss her scalding forehead. 

She drowsily reminded herself to have a talk with him in the morning about taking health risks like that and then she was out like a light. 

When she woke up the next morning, Iris felt warm in a comfortable way she hasn't felt in days. And in spite of her aches and pain, she felt more rested than she had in a week. 

She sighed gratefully and melted further into her pillow. Then she noticed warm legs tangled up with hers. She turned and saw her boyfriend fast asleep, his soft breath tickling her cheek.

Barry was curled up tight behind her in bed. He was sporting a flu mask that was askew from sleep and his arms were around her middle, softly caressing her skin in his sleep.

Iris was sure he'd slipped into bed with her the minute she fell asleep. He looked content and well-rested and quite pleased with himself.

And Iris didn't complain because Barry's arms were more soothing than any medicine. She curled into him more and was asleep in seconds. 

Of course Barry did get the flu himself almost immediately.

But, in spite of the vomiting and the wheezing and the swollen everything, he was delighted that it allowed him to snuggle up with Iris without protest once more.

The third time Iris's absence kept Barry awake and restless was very different than the other two.

It wasn't for unavoidable reasons like school or illness. It was by choice. Iris's choice. Because she couldn't stand the sight of him. 

Barry had paced the full length of the apartment more times than he could count now and he was no closer to growing tired. 

He felt wired; tapping his fist in his hand, muttering angry self-assurances under his breath. 

After the long, exhausting day he'd had Barry couldn't believe he was still awake, but he had no interest in going to bed. 

Not that he could even if he wanted to.

He'd already sped over to Joe's a total of nine times that night. Each time he stopped himself before he could knock on the door. 

Iris was there.

She'd gone straight to her dad's after storming out and leaving him in Star Labs after their fight.

She hadn't even given him a warning that she wasn't coming home. In fact, she hadn't spoken a word to him after he'd confessed what he'd done to Nora. 

It was only Joe stopping by to grab Iris's laptop and some other things she had asked him to grab that Barry realized his wife had no plans to speak to him any time soon. 

At first, Barry had tripped over his words, asking Joe why he would abet her hiding out instead of advising her to come home so they could talk. But, when Joe asked Barry point blank why he sent his granddaughter away without any kind of discussion, Barry's righteous defensiveness returned. 

He told Joe the same thing he told Iris. That he'd done it for their own good. That Eobard had destroyed his family and he was trying to do it again.

Joe didn't try to argue. He just gave Barry a brisk hug and told him to get some sleep and clear his head. 

That had been hours ago.

Barry was no closer to calming down or settling. And the longer he walked the empty apartment the more agitated he became.

The only thing that ever made this place feel like home was the fact that it was where Iris laid her head. So, tonight the apartment felt cold and unfamiliar.

And it was only a tiny sliver of sanity still remaining with him that stopped Barry from pounding down Joe's door and demanding his wife come home.

Because Barry was sure he was right. 

He was sure he could get Iris to see his perspective and side with him. 

He wanted to try. And this time he would keep his cool. He wouldn't say hurtful things he didn't mean. He just wanted to talk to her. 

But, each time he flashed over to Joe's to do just that, he chickened out.

The image of the tears in Iris's eyes as she walked away from him pierced his heart. And the withering look Joe gave Barry when he left the loft earlier had told him that Joe knew all about the awful things he'd said to Iris.

It was moments like that that reminded Barry that Joe West was very much his father-in-law. He was Iris's father before he was anything else. After a certain point Joe wouldn't hesitant to kick his ass for hurting Iris. 

Going and disturbing her in the middle of the night would only sign Barry's death warrant.

Still he kept going back to the house again and again before leaving back to the loft. 

Barry wasn't proud of the things he'd said to Iris. He was just betrayed and in pain and a bit lost. 

And now in the stillness of the loft, in the lifeless and dull atmosphere of their bedroom, Barry felt even that tiny remaining ounce of sanity leave him.

He had never had to be without her like this before. It was always him leaving. Flashpoint, going into the speedforce, asking for space after their failed engagement. He was always running away. Always hurting her. Always leaving her. 

What did it say about how much he'd screwed up tonight that she had finally decided to be the one to leave?

And that's what she'd said in Star Labs wasn't it? Listing off all that she'd had to endure. All she'd put up with. 

Barry pressed his fingers hard against his eyes and bit his lip hard enough to cut. 

She's too forgiving. Too understanding. Especially to people who didn't deserve her grace. 

But, that's why he couldn't let Nora have a chance to plead her case and cloud Iris's judgement. 

That's why he sent her away without consulting Iris. She would've forgiven Nora and let her stay. 

He sighed harshly. He should've known. 

The second Nora made her true feelings known about her mother, Barry should've known she'd been corrupted. 

Because how could anyone be so cold to someone so loving? 

Nora had obviously been exposed to Thawne's darkness. 

Despite what Iris and Joe said, Barry could see the threads of Thawne's influence all over Nora in hindsight. She'd mastered his manipulation and lies. 

And if it weren't for them going into her memories and seeing the truth for themselves, the guilt Nora's deception caused would've consumed Iris. 

Iris had to see; he'd sent Nora back to protect her. To protect all of them. 

Barry had done this for her and she'd gotten so mad at him for it.

He was trying to protect her and she'd left for her father's. He may have regretted the words he spoke but he absolutely did not regret his actions.

He didn't. And it was on them if no one else wanted to see the truth.

He stopped pacing and turned on the television, raising the volume up higher than was considerate to the neighbors.

He didn't care what was on. He just wanted the noise to drown out the silence. 

Cruel irony was seeing a smiling photo of his wife on the t.v. within a few minutes. 

It was a news report about some story she'd been working on. Her article had helped the police solve it and the newscaster was calling Iris an invaluable asset to the city. 

Barry sighed and turned off the television. 

He didn't think twice before he sped upstairs to the bedroom and then once more to Joe's porch. 

He didn't knock on the door, but this time he stayed.

He sat on the porch swing and spread out the blanket and pillow he'd brought with him.

He wouldn't be going back to the loft tonight.

He would have to leave before Joe and Cecile left for work in the morning because he was sure they would give him an earful but he would stay the night. 

Just because they were arguing didn't mean he wouldn't look out for his wife and make sure she was safe and sound. 

She was a very public figure and was sure to be on a few bad guys' radars.

That's what he told himself as he slid under the thick blanket and onto the cold hard wood of the bench. 

He was just doing his duties as a husband; watching over his wife. He wasn't here because he was feeling regret over what he'd done.

He'd done what he had to. Nora had broken their trust and he was at peace with his decision. 

He tried to roll over and almost fell off the tiny bench. 

In his head he could hear Iris laughing and reprimanded him for risking his safety trying to squeeze onto a tiny swing on a cold night like this. 

Then he heard Iris's voice breaking, crying that he hadn't given her a chance to say goodbye to her own child.

 He groaned and turned to the other side. He knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. 

But, he was here to look out for Iris, nothing more. Not because he couldn't face their empty home alone. Not because he deeply regretted what he'd done. 

He didn't regret what he'd done.

He couldn't regret what he'd done...

The first time his body let him sleep without Iris was years later.

He'd been working at his desk for hours trying to get through as many case files as he could before he attempted to turn in for the night. Attempted being the operative word. 

Tiny cooing broke him from his work and he looked at the baby monitor on his desk.

He saw Donovan bouncing up and down in his crib babbling incessantly.

Barry quickly hustled down the hall into the nursery before Donovan's chatter could wake up his sister. 

"Heyy, what are you doing up so late, buddy?" Barry whispered to the baby. 

His son looked up at him with large brown eyes then pointed excitedly as if he had been expecting Barry. 

Barry smiled at the thought. 

Everything about his children fascinated him. He could and had spent hours  taking in every inch of their faces. 

Their mannerisms and personalities were so unique and yet so familiar to him. 

At nine months old, it was incredible to watch both of them learn and become acclimated to the world around them. 

He loved both of his children more than words, but with Donovan there was bond that Barry couldn't explain. 

There was something almost mystifying about his son and Barry loved watching him just be.

He picked Don out of his crib and walked him back to his bedroom. Don babbled loudly as they went.

Barry checked his diaper, if he was warm, and if he was hungry, but he was all good. It seemed like he'd just woken up to shoot the breeze.

Barry looked him over once more to make sure he hadn't missed anything, but he found himself just standing to take in the perfection that was his child.

Donovan looked exactly like Iris. He was a perfect replica of his mother. Literally the only thing he'd seemed to inherit from Barry were his dimples.

His deep brown eyes were always watching, always examining. Nothing he or Iris ever did went unnoticed if Donovan was in the room.

Iris joked that he would definitely be a journalist one day because he was so nosy.

And it was true, he did seem loud and busy where his sister was quiet and subdued.

He also found Barry hilarious which was another difference from his sister. 

Anything Barry did extracted deep belly laughs from Don without him even trying.

Barry picked up his son and carefully sat on his bed, groaning as his muscles protested. 

Donovan laughed in his arms. 

"Is that funny?" Barry grinned. "Daddy's silly huh?"

Donovan clapped and flashed a gummy smile, his only two teeth shining in the dim light. "Da-da."

Barry tickled under Donovan's chin and he laughed even harder. 

"Well you're wide awake. You can't be making so much noise in your room, buddy. Your sister has to sleep too."

Donovan's lips formed a perfect O shape and he blinked up at Barry.

Then he flipped himself to try and get out of Barry's grasp. Barry let him go onto the bed and Donovan squealed at his newfound freedom. 

He rolled around in the bed and patted the comforter excitedly. "Mama mama, ma!"

"So that's what you're after," Barry realized. "Mama's not here."

Donovan chattered on, feeling around the sea of blankets in search of his mother.

"You can't sleep when she's gone either huh?" Barry sat beside his son understanding why he was wide awake so late.

It seemed there was more he'd inherited from Barry than just his dimples. 

"Mama," Donovan whimpered when his search of the bed proved futile. He sat up slowly and his little chest began heaving.

Barry quickly scooped him up and tried to soothe him. "Hey, it's okay, buddy. It's alright."

He shushed his son's crying. And looked around for something to comfort him. 

"Want to keep me company in here tonight?" Barry questioned, already getting up to grab the pack and play in the corner of the bedroom.

Donovan looked up at Barry tearfully. 

Barry kissed his face. 

"We'll watch a movie to distract ourselves," Barry whispered. "How does that sound?"

Barry kissed Donovan again and this time he smiled and giggled.

Barry relaxed a tiny bit at the sound. "Okay, let's go."

Iris sighed tiredly as she heaved her heavy suitcase through the front door bright and early the next morning. 

She dropped it in the foyer, not bothering to bring it more than a few steps in. She'd take care of it later. Right now she needed sleep, but first she had to see her family. 

With The Citizen being the ever-growing multimedia conglomerate that it was, Iris was spending more and more time traveling.

Barry's promotion to head of the CSI department meant his hours were more flexible and that had given him the ability to be with the kids more which she was grateful for.

Iris loved the life she and Barry were able to create and the success they've been blessed with, but she missed her family so much it ached. 

Her fingers itched to hold her warm, chubby babies. She peeked into the kids' room and was greeted to big hazel eyes watching her.

"Hi sweet girl," Iris greeted her daughter softly. She scooped her up and showered her in kisses. Which the baby loved. "Oh I missed you so much, honey. Where's your brother huh?"

Her tired arms held her daughter close as she went in search of her son. 

The kitchen and bedroom were empty, but she found just who she was looking for in the living room. 

The t.v was on. Credits were rolling for a black and white film, no doubt one of Barry's musicals. And her husband was snoring lightly, holding their son with great care against his chest.

Iris felt her heart swoon as she took in the two friends sleeping.

Donovan's eyes opened almost as if he sensed his mother come in. He grinned widely and babbled happily when he saw her.

Iris's face mirrored his as she sat down beside Barry and peppered her son with kisses. "Hi sweetie," she whispered so as not to disturb her husband. "Were you keeping daddy company while I was gone?"

"Da!" Don said. 

He yawned and rubbed his face against Barry's shirt. 

Iris cooed and rubbed his back, encouraging him to go back to sleep.

When his eyes closed again she leaned up and kissed her husband sweetly. 

He stirred. 

"You're back," Barry smiled sleepily. 

Iris murmured in agreement and stifled a yawn. "Long flight."

"I missed you," he said lowly. 

"I missed you too," Iris sighed. "I hate sleeping alone."

Barry scooted over to make room for his two girls on the couch. "Try to sleep now," he told her gently. 

When Iris rested her head on his shoulder, Barry wrapped his free arm around his wife and daughter and the four of them dozed off into a perfect sleep.

[lothirielswanmarvel]

Imagine: the Avengers Taking Care of You When You’re Sick

Tony Stark: Tony may not have marital instincts or a working liver, but he will constantly worry over you. Be prepared to be pampered with buckets of cough medicine, stakeouts on the couch with your favorite movie marathons, and J.A.R.V.I.S./F.R.I.D.A.Y. bugging you every five minutes to ask if you need something.

Tony: I love you, but I’m also wearing the suit while we cuddle. As a safety measure, of course. Not from you—supervillains know my address, remember. I’m not scared of germs, Y/N...have you seen the Lysol can around?

Steve Rogers: Steve isn’t exactly an expert on the world of modern medicine, but you will be confined to the couch, under custody of Mama Steve. He’ll try old-world remedies like making chicken soup and enforcing plenty of rest. 

Steve: Y/N, we’re out of clean dishes...maybe I could serve the soup in my shield...wait, where is my shield?

Clint Barton: Clint is a messy person by nature, so when flu season comes around, chances are, he’s stuck on the couch with you. But you will be his first priority—he’ll call in sick to S.H.I.E.L.D. just to take care of you. 

Clint: Y/N! Here’s a giant bowl of soup...come on, it’s not Cap’s shield. That must be the fever—you’re hallucinating. Like that time you saw me take the last slice of pizza.

Natasha Romanoff: The Bodyguard. No one is going within ten feet of you with Natasha nearby. You will rest undisturbed under Natasha’s watch. This woman has seen gore galore: no amount of snot, vomit, or other disgusting things left unnamed can scare this woman. She will stay by your side permanently until you are fully healed...also be prepared to be drugged unknowingly. 

Clint: Nat? Why is this soup crunchy? Are you hiding vitamins in my food again—?

Natasha: Shh. No one has to know. 

Thor: Thor has no fear of snot or possible sickness (come on: he’s lived with Loki for 1000 years. He’s seen worse). He will sit with you and keep you warm. He may not know the human practices of fighting illness, but he won’t leave your side and will ignore all boundaries of personal space. Thor may even try Asgardian remedies to nurse you back to health (do NOT put any of it in your mouth).

Thor: My mother was a witch, Y/N, and so was my brother: I will nurse you back to full health, myself. Here, I made this broth for you.

Bruce: Is...is that an eyeball in the soup?

Bruce Banner: He’ll make a pillow fort in the lab and sit with you. Bruce has no problem making quick runs to the drug store and whipping up some herbal tea for you. He will be understanding and completely selfless as your caregiver.

Bruce: Are you sleeping...? Does this mean I can watch Professor Proton? Oh, you’re awake. Sorry. 

James Rhodes: He’s been taking care of Tony for years: compared to him, you’re a leisurely walk in the park. Rhodey will spend the day in with you, watch some movies, take naps. 

Rhodey on the couch: What the hell... *pulls out a bag of Tony’s hidden blueberries* ...are these Barnes’ plums? Damn, he really is a raccoon.

Wanda Maximoff: She’ll be an expert at getting anything you need with her powers. Wanda is also the Compound’s Tea Guru, so she’ll keep you hydrated. Wanda won’t worry as much as the others, but she does still worry: she knows how strong you are. You’ll pull through. 

Wanda: *picking up used tissues with her magic and putting them in the trash* I love you, Y/N. I also love my manicure, and I’m not sacrificing it to the snot monsters. 

Vision: Vision is new to eating and sleeping and normal human things, but how he feels about you is probably the core to his humanity. Vis will be very by-the-book, attempting to make chicken soup (then caving and asking Wanda to do it), offering you different brands of cough medicine, and basically reiterating everything off Wikihow. Vis will also be your personal thermometer. 

Vision touches Y/N’s forehead: I advise staying in today, Y/N. Your fever is spiking up to 102.456 degrees Fahrenheit. 

Peter Parker & Shuri: :o 

Scott: Okay, that’s just weird...can you tell me how hot my coffee is right now?

Sam Wilson: He is Mama Steve 2.0: even Steve comes to Sam in distress. You couldn’t be in better hands: Sam knows how to build people up, and will be your personal life coach during this sickness. Sam will let you wear his jogging sweats if you get cold, and he’ll play pranks on Bucky for your entertainment.

Bucky: WHERE ARE MY PLUMS

Tony: WHERE ARE MY BLUEBERRIES I WAS STORING THEM FOR THE WINTER

Sam sitting with you and a bowl of fruit: You wanna smoothie, Y/N? 

Bucky Barnes: The worst chance at survival (but in a heartfelt, adorable way). If your health teeters, even if it’s something like a simple cold, this man will freak out. You are Bucky’s world, and you’re usually the one taking care of him: he will feel obligated to get you through this. Being gentle with someone is...not something he’s familiar with, but it will be evident that Bucky’s trying: even if he almost burns down the Compound just to make you soup. Plus, his metal arm feels great against feverish skin. 

T’Challa: The best chance at survival. T’Challa will steal you away to Wakanda to spoil you. Enjoy the luxury of the palace while trying out high-tech massagers (and the equally-relaxing purr of T’Challa’s voice ;) and snuggling with bullet-proof silky vibranium blankets. You get to hide away from your responsibilities, and T’Challa will make sure you have everything you need. You will always be on his mind until you recover. 

Peter Parker: Aunt May raised this boy right. Chicken soup? On the stove. Back massage? In progress. Peter is harnessing his own Mama Steve, and he won’t leave your side. But don’t let Peter do everything—because he will try, and Aunt May doesn’t want to call the fire department again. 

Scott Lang: The other worst chance at survival (but an entertaining one). He will try his best to keep your spirits up—that means doing every magic trick known to the geek community. It pains him to see you upset, so you may have to muster a fake laugh just to soothe him. Scott is still a father, so he does know a thing or two about taking care of someone. He’ll camp out with you on the couch, and you can expect your roles to be reversed two weeks later, when your sickness carries on to him.

Scott: You’re right, that’s snot funny. . .I’m sorry, that was a sick joke. 

BONUS EDITION:

Loki: He will nurse you back to health himself: he knows potions and remedies to do so. But he will almost seem solemn or detached as he does so. Loki loves you more than anything in the world, but sickness is a reminder of your mortality, and it’s a harsh reminder for him. Loki’s skin feels cool and refreshing against feverish skin. He will press soft, tender kisses on your forehead, and stare at you silently as you rest. 

Nick Fury: Sickness will tremble before this man. Fury know’s you’re strong enough to beat this illness, and he will put you under house arrest just to make sure you are getting the proper rest you need. He will also send Agent Coulson to be your personal maid/caretaker. 

Stephen Strange: The chances of survival here are pretty high. Nothing scares Stephen away, after being a doctor for years and fighting beings from different dimensions. He’ll make sure you have everything you need, speaking in a soft voice as he occasionally smoothes out your hair. Stephen has a spell to combat every sickness defect from coughing to sore throat, and he can make portals so you can spy on people while you recover. His cloak is very fond of you, too, and will choose you over him in your feverish state. 

Carol Danvers: She’s pretty much immune to everything, so Carol won’t hesitate to sit with you and have a sick day on the couch. She’ll try to stay upbeat and positive, but seeing you less than 100% worries her. Carol will stick around earth for a few days until you’re back on your feet. Plus, with her powers, Carol’s a gorgeous source of heat to keep you warm. 

Carol: You got this, champ. I know you’ll get through this, cause you’re my hero. 

A/N: Hia Awesome Adventurers! I hope you enjoyed this, school is back on this winter and I hope all of you are staying healthy. Stay tuned for the Guardians of the Galaxy, the X-Men, and Wakandans taking care of you when you’re sick! Love, fortune and glory to you!!

[chinawof]

McHemsworth: Are We?

Date: 15/01/2020

Location: Australia

Summary: Liam and China visit the doctors to confirm if the tests were right or not.

Warning/s: Throwing up.

Characters: @chinawof & @hemsworthitmate

She had barely slept, which wasn’t anything new, but now that there was an extra toll on her body, it was wearing her thin. That and the fact she could’ve sworn Liam had changed the coffee to decaf didn’t help matters much either. They’d not really spoken much since last night, emotions high between both of them, but still, he’d mentioned a boat trip, so China had forced Delta from her lap at eight am and got up to put some coffee on for him and her. Though she worried he wouldn’t come down the stairs today, probably trying to give her some space, but she hoped, maybe, they could start patching things up once more.

Liam wasn’t trying to distance himself from China. He just way too confused. His heart was telling him this baby was the right thing for them while his future wife refused to acknowledge it. He was doing his best to see her side. But he knew the only way to even get passed this was confirming with a doctor. Still feeling she needed space, he slipped out of bed quietly and headed to him game room. He was finishing up some texts with Amber and reading a book when his phone rang. He glanced at the time (8am) before hitting that green button.

“‘Ello, Mr. Hemsworth. This is Joy from the Melbourne Clinic. How are you this morning?” 

Liam paused for a moment before standing up. His instinct was already to find China. “I’ve been better.” He replied with a chuckle. 

“So I have some great news that might pick your spirits back up,” She said cheerfully, “we just had a last minute cancellation for 8.45am. If you want it.” 

Liam quickly walked out his game room and smelled coffee down the stairs. “Uh yes that’d be wonderful. Please. We will take it.” He said to Joy. He could hear keyboard clicking as he went to pour his own self coffee. 

“Perfect. You’re all set. See you soon.” 

Liam poured a little creamer into his coffee before calling out to China. “Um. Change of plans.” 

China had been letting Delta and Dora out when he came down the stairs. She was definitely welcoming the new breeze of air hitting her face, which had begun to pale somewhat from the smell of the coffee, but she heard him on the phone and realised he’d come down the stairs, so leaving the pups to roam outside, she headed back in. “Change of plans?” Chi asked, eyebrows raised though she was still keeping her distance from the coffee that was making her feel sick.

Liam nodded as he took a sip. He checked the time on his phone again and sighed. “We are going to the doctor.” He said taking another sip before abandoning his cup to come closer to her. Though he stopped just arms length away because he wasn’t sure she wanted to be near him right now. “They had a last minute cancellation. So go get dressed. I’ll tell my dad an excuse.” He said sticking a hand in his pocket.

She was thankful when he set the coffee down before walking toward her, China didn’t realise she’d been watching his coffee cup more than him at that moment in time. But soon enough she was looking at him and listened to his words. She paled. Not sure if it was because reality was about to whack her over the head, or the smell of coffee on his breath. China bit her tongue to hold herself together as he finished, but the moment she opened her mouth to agree, she found her hand moving to her lips, and she was gone, as quick as she had been running after Delta in the garden, taking off to the bathroom to bow down to the Porcelain Gods; his damn decaf coffee.

Liam wasn’t sure what to think but he looked to the curious dogs next to him. The tallest one running to find China, while Delta had her head cocked to the side. “C’mon girl, let’s go find mama.” Liam picked up Delta and shut the door before heading to the restroom. He could see Dora perched just outside of it. He wondered if this was her way of saying she’s fine and she needs space or that she wanted him to go in. He set Delta down beside Dora and knocked on the door. “China? You alright?” He asked softly.

China was suddenly very thankful she’d been too upset with herself to have 4am pizza, because she was throwing up the last of last nights dinner and a little bit of bile, but nothing more. She let herself catch her breath a little, before her body betrayed her attempts and found herself heaving once more. She could hear his knock and his words, but right now she was a little preoccupied, and yet she was suddenly very conscious of the time and that they’d be late, all thanks to this weird flu she must have gotten. “Sorry.” She let out breathlessly and quietly when she felt a small respite in her throwing up. She lent against the bathroom wall for a moment waiting for her body to recover.

“Do you need help?” Liam hesitated before actually stepping into the restroom. He was beginning to worry about how she was looking. “I can carry you.” He said, already taking her arm and putting it around his neck ready to lift her into his arms.

“I’m fine.” She breathed out softly, waiting for her stomach to stop the cramping sensation that went with dry heaves. Clearly there wasn’t much left for her to throw up any longer. “Don’t want to be late.” Chi softly muttered out, her face turned away from his because his coffee breath made her stomach feel worse once more.

“I’ll just go get you some water.” He said after helping her up. He stopped by his dresser and found a peppermint and popped it into his mouth as he headed to the fridge to grab a bottled water. He was about to text his dad when his phone rang. “Dad. We,” he paused unsure how close China was, “Are going to have a date and then see you for a late lunch if she’s up for it.” He leaned the phone to his shoulder as he gathered more treats, and their leashes. 

“Okay, son. Just let me know. Need me to watch the dogs?” 

Liam shoved the treats into his pockets before sticking the phone to his ear again. “No. I like taking them everywhere,” Liam said with a laugh, “But I’ll call later. Love you Pop.” Liam hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket waiting for china. 

She took a good fifteen minutes. Five of which were spent sitting at the edge of their bed whilst she let her body ease up on her with the nauseous feeling and stomach cramps. Soon they stopped, and she took another ten minutes to grab herself something comfortable to wear, changing out of her clothes into them so she at least seemed presentable. She’d get a shower later, she swore, but right now her body wanted nothing more than to lie down for a while. Knowing it wasn’t a choice, she threw her hair into a messy pony tail and splashed her face with water to hopefully clear it of the paleness, flushing the mess of a toilet as she went, before she met him in the kitchen were the dogs were excitedly waiting. “Sorry, I’m ready.” China said, scrubbing her hands along her jeans for a second nervously. She was still pale and tired, but she looked better than she had in the bathroom. “Are we still going to make it on time?” She asked, almost worried they’d miss the appointment.

Liam got the leashes on the dogs just as he heard China’s voice enter the room. He stood up taking in her pale frame and frowned. He felt bad for putting so much distance between them. He checked his phone and nodded. “It’s just a couple blocks. We will make it. Just going to take the truck. You don’t look like you’re up for a walk.” He took her hand and squeezed it gently, giving her a genuine smile before heading to the truck. He opened the door for China, helping her in before handing her Delta. “Dora.” He said to the bigger dog as he opened the bed of the truck. Before it was always just him and she’d sit in there with him. But she always liked feeling the breeze as he drove down the road. He closed the bed of the truck making sure Dora sat down before sitting in the driver’s seat. “Hey, I am sorry for being an asshole.” Liam said as he started up the vehicle and backing out heading down the road. 

China was torn between wanting answers; something solid that she could stick to, and also wanting to live in her denial. But it was getting harder to do the denial part, when Liam wanted to talk about the baby, and apparently coffee and Liam’s favourite pizza was now making her feel sick. Her brain was reasoning that she knew exactly why, but she was still just so scared, and the one person she wanted to call and ask about what was what knew nothing... and she didn’t know if her mom would want to talk to her any longer, not after the shame she was about to put on their family. Chi tried not to dwell on it as she gave him a soft smile and took the water to take a few sips and clear her mouth, letting her sore, bile-burnt throat soothe with the cool liquid. She didn’t say much to him, didn’t think she had the energy to, but noted she owed him the biggest thanks once all her fears were over soon enough. China hoped, at least, the soft smile on her face and the gentle squeeze of his hand as he helped her into the truck conveyed her thanks enough. Delta clambered into her lap and she gave a breathy laugh at the feeling of the pup curling up, her head rested right on China’s stomach, as if she knew. “Good girl.” She soothed, ran a hand over the dog’s dark fur soothingly. Liam clambering into the car took her attention from the settling Delta, China’s brown eyes glancing to him as she listened to his apology. She shook her head, “You weren’t. I’m sorry I never asked how you felt about it all.” She’d just wanted to be open and honest about her fears with him, but she realised it was completely selfish of her to have done so. Sometimes she needed to keep them to herself, especially when they were completely out of her control. 

Liam shook his head, making a turn to the right. He glanced in the review to check on Dora. She was laying down tongue out. "Honestly, I'm confused." He said putting his eyes back on the road. "I figured if I stayed happy about it you'd get that way too." He shrugged just as he stopped at a light. "I don't want your parents to disown you either, okay?" He took a glance her smiling the best he could. "This appointment will tell us the truth." He reached over and petted Delta on the head.

Chi let herself listen to him, her head rested against the headrest as if it was the only form of sleep she may have gotten, but she let herself hang on his words. Felt guilty for feeling the way she was feeling but didn’t know how to fix it. “I’m so sorry, Liam.” It was all she knew to offer him; was worried if she said more it would turn back to her being selfish. Her hand threaded into her hair, fingers rubbing at her scalp, stressed from just thinking about all of this.

He felt awful as he watched her put that wall back up. He knew he did this to himself and he wasn't sure it was going to come back down. He just prayed that this appointment would be the answers to the questions they both have been asking. He reached for her hand and kissed it gently hoping she wouldn't pull away. "You're the one that I want. Woo oo oo." Liam sang just as the light turned green. He continued to sing up until he turned into the parking lot of the clinic. He glanced at the time on the dashboard. 8:40. Liam smiled widely he shut off the engine and unbuckled himself. "Do you have Delta?" He asked already helping Dora out of the back of the car.

She heard him sing and couldn’t help but give a soft laugh at the sound of it. It wasn’t a lot but it was a start at least. Soon they’d turned into the parking lot, and she realised her heart was beginning to race with her nerves and fears. Liam’s question brought her back ever so slightly. Chi forced a smile and gave a nod. “Yeah, I got her.” The pup glanced to papa at the mention of her name but she had stayed firm in her position with her head right on China’s stomach protectively. Chi waited another second before she opened the door and carefully adjusted Delta into her arms before she slid from the car, deciding to keep hold of the pup in case Delta felt the need to be curious in the clinic.

Liam opened the door of the clinic letting the ladies go in first. "I heard you bring your dogs everywhere, but would you look at that." Liam recognized that cheerful tone as he spotted a nurse with bleach blond hair down to her shoulders and looked like she had slept in a tanning bed way too many times. "You must be China. We'll go ahead and get you in back here and your fiance can help you fill the paperwork out. I'm Joy." Joy said smiling brightly with her hands on a clipboard quickly leading them behind a door near the front desk. “Right this way.” They walked a long hallway before turning into another room on the right. “Alright, Ms. McClain. I’ll let you both fill these out. While I check your blood pressure and weight.” Joy said to China but she was looking at Liam. Liam took the clipboard deciding that China wasn’t going to let Delta go or vice versa which made his lips curve upward. “Oh, shoot. I forgot my own paperwork. I’ll be back.” She said quickly exiting the room. 

Liam looked to the clipboard. “Okay. First and Last name. China Hemsworth.” Though he said Hemsworth he wrote out McClain. He continued, “Birthday.” He didn’t really expect her to answer because he knew. he was just trying his best to ease the tension.

She tried her best to be polite and smile and nod to whatever Joy had to say but honestly there was a fear lurking behind her eyes and she couldn’t shake it. Suddenly everything else coming to her mind: what if something was wrong? The walk down the corridor felt like it took forever, but eventually they reached a little room and she took a seat, glancing to Liam as he filled in the paperwork. There was a small laugh at the name, but one day, she thought, and probably soon if her parents had any input, it would be her name. “Uh,” for a split moment she had to remember her own birthday, but she answered a moment later, “August 25th, 1998.”

Liam continued down the list saying things out loud, even when Nurse Joy returned with her paperwork and beginning China’s blood pressure. Liam got to a question but wasn’t sure how to ask China it without making her upset. “Oh here. We’re done.” He said to Joy. 

Joy smiled as she unwrapped the blood pressure cuff from china’s arm. She took the clipboard from Liam’s hand as she scribbled some numbers on her papers. “Okay. Let’s see. Good. Good. OH,” she glanced to Liam but handed the clipboard to China. “When was your last period. If you could just guesstimate it helps us in the final reading.” Liam watched as nurse join then stood up and opened up a cupboard and pulled down a cup and lid closing it before opening a drawer and pulling out several different tools to draw her blood. She quickly washed her hands and dried them off.

China tried her best to answer his questions, and let the nurse do as she needed to do. Delta looked a little weary and protective in her hold when she saw the blood pressure cuff and heard the buzz of it inflating so China tried to settle the pup with a soothing hand over her fur. Soon enough it was done, and China tried not to worry about whatever the numbers she had scribbled down meant. She saw Liam hand the forms over and then saw the way Joy seemed to look at him before passing her the form. Chi gave a small smile, but she couldn’t recall an exact date. It had to have been the end of December but she cursed herself for not listening to her sisters and noting things like that down in a calendar or on one of those apps, finding the idea a little weird. She jotted down a quick number that stuck in her head half making it up thanks to her not remembering exactly. “I don’t quite remember?” China apologised, but passed her the form back over with the 28th December written down.

“It’s totally okay!” The nurse said taking the forms and jotting down her own notes. “Okay, sweetie. Time to do the easiest one.” Joy grabbed the cup from the table and handed it over to China with the biggest smile on her face. 

Liam looked to China and then Delta. “Can she take Delta in with her, for company?” He asked as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Um. Just as long as we keep this beautiful coat out of the sample.” Joy replied looking at Delta. She walked over to another door Liam hadn’t noticed and opened it. “Bathroom is just right here.”

China took the cup a little confused for a moment, until there was mention of ‘sample’ and then ‘bathroom’. She realised quickly what she was meant to do and blushed a little at the idea. “Oh,” She said, definitely distant still, she had been since she saw those tests. Still, she looked to Liam, and saw the way he looked so calm and composed, and it settled her a little. “Yeah, sure.” She stood and held Delta who was napping now close to her. The dog giving a small whine as she went to the bathroom. Delta did have to be placed onto the floor, but she made a quick job of peeing into the cup and cleaning herself up afterwards. Taking a moment to still her nerves in front of the mirror, before she opened the door to leave, a lazy Delta strolling out behind her. “Uh, here.” She said looking embarrassed almost by the cup she was holding, not that the nurse wasn’t used to it by now at all. 

Liam watched China head into the restroom. "How long have you been engaged?" Nurse Joy asked as she prepared for the blood samples about to be drawn from China. 

"A month" Liam replied feeling the small talk coming on. 

"Only a month? It seems like you've known each other forever." She said just as China stepped out and handing her the cup. Liam smiled at that remembering when he met China and he wouldn't change that one bit. "Okay, Ms. Just gonna take a few blood samples from ya." Joy said patting the chair for China to sit down again. Liam squinted as he watched the nurse clean off one of China’s fingers and in one Swift movement pricking it, collecting the blood that came out in a tiny tube before wrapping up her finger up in a bandaid. "Okay. I'll take these back. You two hang tight." Nurse Joy said finishing off her notes and cleaning up before leaving the room. 

Liam stood up and rested a hand on her shoulder. "How are you feeling?" He asked unsure if she would push him away again.

China at least didn’t feel too embarrassed by the idea of blood samples, so she settled on the chair, averting her eyes for a split moment, and let out the very slightest of wince at the sudden pinching feeling to her finger. Soon enough it was cleaned and wrapped up, and the nurse was excusing herself with the two samples. Chi glanced up at the feel of his hand on her shoulder, and let her own rest on top of his. “Overwhelmed, I guess?” She offered quietly, noting that Delta had gone to settle near Dora for the moment, but her eyes were very trained on her mama. “How’re you?” China asked, remembering that not taking his feelings into consideration had caused a whole mess last night.

He smiled for a moment before sitting on the edge of the seat with her. “The same. Overwhelmed.” He shrugged as he really thought about it. “It’s a good feeling though. I hope it stays that way too.” He said laughing a little. “Still feeling nauseous?”

China let out a gentle sigh, but gave him a soft smile in return. She didn’t like the feeling so much, but she got his drift, and she wasn’t about to quash it in any way. His question had her giving a gentle laugh, “Only a little, but it’s settled more now since someone’s coffee breath went away.” She informed him nudging her shoulder against his.

Liam had to think about it. He laughed as soon as he remembered he did drink coffee. “I didn’t know you didn’t like coffee breath.” He teased. “But I’ll try to avoid it as much as I can.” He told her, he was liking the idea of more tea anyhow. Decaf included. “Anything else make you sick?” He asked curiously.

She hadn’t really had time to dwell and think on that question, teasing her lip between her teeth. “Accessorised pizza’s?” China said it as half of a joke, though she did remember feeling sick around his meat and veg pizza the other night if she thought about it long enough. “I don’t really remember if there was anything else? If there was... I just thought I was coming down with something, you know?” She glanced a little at him, almost ashamed of herself, but for what, she didn’t quite know.

He frowned at her half hearted joke but he was okay with not getting them anymore if it meant she could stay away from the toilet. He was about to reply when another woman walked in. 

"Oh definitely didn't come down with anything." She said gleefully. Liam looked at her quizzically. "I'm Dr. Newton." She wrote down the morning sickness triggers into China's paperwork and looked to them both. "And you two are going to be parents." She pulled out a few pamphlets from her clipboard and handed them to Liam. "It's a little early to tell how far along but definitely a few weeks close to a month." She cleared her throat looking to China the most. "I understand you live in America, and we can set up a sonogram appointment for you there if you'd like?" 

Liam took the brochures in hand and the overwhelming feeling grew stronger. He was going to be a dad. A father. But the worst part for him would be keeping it a secret for China.

Her attention was taken from Liam by a new person entering the room, and she seemed so confident and flippant about everything that it almost irked China a little. That was when she had a chance to hear her tone. Because the moment she said that they were going to be parents, she was closing up again and her whole body felt like it had the day she saw that test: drained of blood and like she very suddenly couldn’t remember how to breathe. She sat in stun as she felt the last of her denial being stolen away from her. God, this was a thing, and she was going to have to deal with the consequences. 

"We will set it up, doctor. Thank you." Liam said intercepting the question that was directly for China. He was sure this doctor knew exactly who he was and frankly he was ready to get out of there. 

The Doctor smiled bleakly towards him. "Right. Well, if you," she said looking to China, "have any questions the ladies up front will be glad to give my number." She wrote a few things down and handed Liam a paper. "I would find her some crackers. Something to settle the stomach. Read the pamphlets!" She said before getting up to walk to the door, "Congratulations." The doctor said before she hurriedly walked out of the room. 

Liam wasn't too sure but he knew that lady from somewhere. He shrugged it off as he turned his attention to China. "China. Are you okay? Do you want some water?" He asked her softly.

She was still sat there trying to wrap her head around this, and the stun on her face was definitely hard to hide. Delta and Dora had wandered closer now protectively as China let her head rest into her palm to stop herself from feeling so faint and out of it. “Water.” She said, as if it was an answer, but realised quickly that it wasn’t, “Yeah, water’s good.” She took a couple of deep breaths hoping to settle her panic, but she honestly couldn’t escape it now. They were doing this... whether she liked it or not, the choice was out of her control.

Liam quietly left the room though he didn’t think China would notice. He asked a passing by nurse for some water and with a stunned look on her face she handed him an unopened water bottle. Liam entered back into China’s room, opening the lid and passing it to her. “Hey, I am back. Take a sip.” He moved her hair out of her face, doing his best to calm her. “I’m here.”

China heard him leave, but knew the pups were still firm at her side and that was comforting enough for the moment. She still tried to settle herself down, and was more than pleased when he returned with some water. When he moved her hair from her face she gave him a soft smile that didn’t match her eyes at all. The silent thanks before she took a small sip; her stomach definitely feeling all kinds of nauseous now she’d heard it confirmed. China took a calming breath between taking another couple of sips, before she let her gaze focus on him and him alone. It was soothing. Them against the world, after all. “I guess... I guess we’re doing this, huh?” She asked rhetorically, knew the answer already, but wanted to see his excitement, hoped it would help her from this state she was in.

Liam watched China closely. He was torn between ecstatic and concerned which he currently showed her. He was trying not to picture her like he saw her in Finland. And it wasn't until she finally looked at him that that feeling went away. His eyes lit up because she was finally acknowledging they were having a child. "Yeah. We are." He said softly placing a kiss on her forehead. "And it's scary but exciting. We can do this." He chuckled. "It's us against the world. We just added another player to our team."

She gave Liam a smile that was a lot more genuine than they had been the past few days. She had her worries and her fears, but right now she was light headed and nauseous enough, China knew not to add to those stress levels, even if she literally knew nothing really about pregnancy. She needed books, and research, and to know what would happen. China gulped hard, “I guess we did, huh?” She asked again, still living half unsure of things. “A little one. Half you. Half me.” Her smile was a little brighter this time. She could look forward to that. Focus on the good, and worry about the rest later.

Liam's smile grew wider with every word she spoke. He wasn't too sure where she was with it all. But this was definitely a start in the right direction. "Just like your dreams." He said remembering the description she gave him only filling his heart with more love for her. Because she dreamt that. She filled that image for him. And now it's a real thing. He bit his lip nodding his head as he stood up. "Let's go get you some crackers. And then we can spend the day just you and me."

She wanted to give him a bright smile to that, and maybe tell him all about those dreams, that soon would become true, but her body was worn out and she was shaky and nauseous still. China gave him a softer smile and a little nod, “Like my dreams,” she confirmed and then moved a little to get up from the chair, hoped she didn’t find herself passing out, “That sounds like a good idea, but what about the boat?” She remembered them mentioning it, and didn’t want to disappoint his parents.

Liam stared at her with his loving blue eyes as he always did with so much admiration that he would forget he was staring. He looked away, smile still on his face, but nodding his head. “We still have a week left, right?” He asked though he was sure of the answer. “We can ride that boat when you’re less nauseous.” 

She was thankful he was okay to postpone the outing with his parents, honestly she felt like she needed a decent shower and than a good bit of rest to go along with it. China let out a small chuckle, “I don’t think that’s how morning sickness works. But hopefully I won’t feel nauseous and we can enjoy it.”

“I mean probably not.” He lifted up the paperwork in his hand. “I’ve got more reading to do while you rest. It’s been a long day already and,” He looked to the clock on the wall, “It’s not even noon.” He looked to the dogs and picked up Delta before placing her in China’s lap. “Just focus on Delta and I’ve got us for the rest of the day. Anything you want or need I’ll get.” Liam felt Dora next to him as she lifted a paw to China. “We will get. Sorry Dora.”

"Reading. I guess we've both got reading to do, huh?" She gave a soft laugh, tried to settle herself from the shocked state she was in. There was no point in her wondering on the why this happened, how, or what they would do, because all that mattered now was the small human she was growing for them and their future together. Chi found some comfort in feeling Delta back in her arms and gave a smile as she stroked the dogs fur. "Rest does sound like a good plan, though." She agreed and let her hand reach out to pet Dora's head affectionately, too. 

"Reading. Asking questions. More reading. But we've got time." Liam found Dora's leash securing it around his wrist, staying out of the way as China got down from her seat. "How about you go rest in the car and I'll finish the paperwork that needs to be done." He says as he opened up the door for her and letting her and the dogs out of the room. Liam took hold of China's hand as they walked down that hallway passing by all the stares he suddenly felt that they were getting. They reached the front desk and Liam passed off his keys to China just in case.

“Yeah, a bit of time.” She agreed but took his cue to leave. “I’m okay, they might need some other details.” China stood but let herself be braced against him their hands interlocked. The paleness of her face wasn’t shifting but she was glad she didn’t feel as faint as she had. It was the stares that got to her the most, like she was ashamed of herself for people looking at her like that... judging them. She worried her lip between her teeth as he passed his keys over, but stayed at his side. “Why’re they staring?” She hadn’t realised she was wondering out loud and also hadn’t quite realised here she was in a clinic, knocked up with a Hemsworth’s baby of all things.

Liam looked to China, her question slightly startling him. His hand cupped her cheek letting her find his eyes "Probably because the youngest Hemsworth is going to be a father. But you don't worry about them." 

Joy who was watching the pair, glanced around at the other nurses staring. "I'm sorry about that. They didn't believe me when I said you were you and now look. I do apologise." Liam watched Joy place a clipboard near them. "Ms. China, I just need a signature and you're free to get away from these crazies."

China looked a little bashful and ashamed as she found her gaze directed toward his own. At least they were together, and that was what mattered. She just didn't want it getting out; Her parents couldn't know. That was her main concern here. "He is." She confirmed with a gentle smile toward him, still unsure of calling herself a mother... wasn't sure she had the skill set to be one, but she didn't have a choice now. Joy's words took her attention away from Liam. “Okay. Um...” She took the paperwork, and lent a little against the desk while she carefully read the paperwork over. MJ McClain’s first lesson of life: You don’t sign something you haven’t read. 

Liam looked at the papers before watching China carefully read over the paperwork. “It’s just confirming you took a pregnancy test and your insurance will be notified.” Joy said and Liam wondered if this woman was always this chipper. “Oh, and don’t worry about them. Mr Hemsworth had us sign a confidentiality agreement when he set the original appointment. They just get starstruck.” Liam laughed a little though he felt bad that he was putting China into this bigger world of Fame that she wasn’t ready for.

China still took the time to read it, because honestly, in their industry there was nothing you could and couldn’t trust wholly. Once she had read it through, she gave a quick signature at the bottom, Delta still firmly in her arms, nuzzled up against her comfortably and reassuringly. She gave Joy a smile as she passed her the paperwork back over. “Thanks, for everything.” China nodded a little before her attention was back to Liam and she was ready to get the hell out of there. “A confidentiality agreement, huh?” She asked him, eyebrows raised.

Liam waited until they were fully out of that building and to the car when he decided to answer. “I just figured after everything with Jess,” Laim rolled his eyes, “I just want you to be able to tell your family without the help of an outside source.” He said opening the door for her. “This way you can take your time on telling them. So will I.”

China walked with him, and was surprised he didn’t reply until they got to the car, but she gave a tired smile at his answer, honestly feeling like she had fallen in love with him all over again; how considerate he’d been. He opened the door and she was still giving him that worn-out smile, but she did something next that she never thought she’d have done a couple of days ago. China stopped beside him, and used her free hand that wasn’t holding Delta to rest her palm over her stomach, “Hear that? You’re going to be the world’s best kept secret. We’re looking out for you.” She whispered to the baby, but didn’t know if it would hear her. When she glanced back to Liam there was a small bit of embarrassment for having done that, but she couldn’t take it back.

Liam was about to load up Dora when he noticed China stop. As he watched her and listened to her he was smitten with the scene that played before him. He lifted up her chin, his hand finding her stomach. “I love you.” He kissed her cheek before giving her a hug. “Come on sleepy head. Let’s go nap.” 

She wouldn’t lie, moments like this were exactly what she had pictured and wanted when it came to thinking about them having a child. And for a moment, she wasn’t worried about her parents or siblings opinions. China’s smile was a little brighter as her hand smoothed over his touching where their baby was. “I love you too.” She whispered, before she accepted his hug. “Naps, yeah, naps are good.” She let out a small laugh and clambered into the car, settling Delta in her lap as she did so. China waited a moment for Liam to get Dora situated and get into the car too, passing him his keys, since she still had them. She caught his hand as she passed them to him. “Liam,” She started, giving him a gentle smile, browns locked onto blues, “You can tell your family... and Amber... and whomever else you want to tell.” Chi said, softly and gently. “I don’t want to take that away from you. And it’s okay by me. I know you wouldn’t tell anyone who would relay it back to my parents, so you’re allowed to be happy and share if you want.” There was a bit of a bigger smile on her tired face, “You deserve to be happy and let everyone know you’re going to be an amazing papa.” China let her eyes stay on his blues for a moment longer before she let his hand go and glanced to the awake pup in her lap, giving Delta a scratch behind the ears.

Liam helped Dora back into the bed of the truck ruffling the top of her head when he felt she was settled. He hopped into the drivers side, when he saw his keys in China’s hands. He felt her hand grab hold of his and his mind immediately thought something was wrong. But as he listened to her speak and the way she was actually smiling and not crying it pushed any negative thought away. He was grateful to hear all of this because, let’s face it, he was one that really did want to shout how excited he was, but didn’t because he respected China. “Are you sure?” He asked though he knew she was. “You don’t think your family will get mad that my family knows before them?” He asked curiously, turning the car on and heading back into the road. He didn’t think her family would, but it was 2020; people be mad at everything now a days.

China gave him a nod, because she was sure. And honestly, she needed some support from people who understood. As much as having Liam there was a great help, maybe Leonie, Sam, Elsa, and Amber knowing would be the assistance she needed. A turning point for where she could go to with questions or worries when something mightn’t have been right but she just hadn’t the experience to know. She would have gone to her own mother, but she knew that it probably would never be an option, and that’s what upset her more. “My family are going to be mad over a whole different can of worms.” She idly said, letting her hand stroke Delta’s fur soothingly. 

He knew she was probably right. That her family would be mad regardless. And he was starting to think that maybe telling his family and Amber would be a good idea. Good support for not only her, but him as well. “Well, we can tell my parents whenever you want.” He said making a turn to the left. “We are here for you, okay?” He reached for her hand, but found Delta’s head instead. 

China gave a soft smile toward him, “Whenever you want, it’s your call on that, Liam. Plus your dad half knows anyway.” There was a gentle shrug as she carried on petting Delta, like that settled her nerves somewhat. It was soothing her nausea down a little, too, which she welcomed. “I know you are. I just wish they’d be able to see it from my point of view and not a ‘shaming the family and the church’ aspect.” She gave another shrug and soft sigh, noting the way his hand found Delta’s head. Her own gently fell back to her stomach, as if protective of the baby already toward the argument brewing with her parents.

Liam shrugged a little as he thought about the call he had with his dad. His father was a smart man and just wanted everything and everyone to be okay without overstepping. “Yeah. I guess he does.” He agreed as he turned down another road that lead to the market. He wasn’t too sure if he had crackers but he was ready to stock up on them. “They will. With time.” Liam reassured. If they were able to accept him into their family, they were bound to love the newest addition.

China watched the roads he was going down as she sat there, her eyes heavy, and Delta settling even more into her. She glanced back over to him at his words, gave him a smile that was a little forced, because she knew her parents and she definitely got her own stubbornness from somewhere, after all. “I just don’t want to lose Sisi, Lauryn, or Gabe in the process.” She admitted, and it was tough to think about, the four of them were inseparable, and it felt like that may no longer be a thing with something like this hanging over them. Tears had sprung to her eyes, so she focused back on petting Delta to calm herself.

Liam took a deep breath nodding his head at her confession. He truly wouldn’t know what to do without his brothers so he understood completely. “Well, take all the time. We will figure it out and I’ll be there for you. No matter what.” He said as he made another turn into the supermarket parking lot. He stayed quiet as he found a parking spot while he was trying to think of ways to make this better. He truly never had been in that position before, but he just had the strongest feeling that everything was going to be okay. He shut off the engine, smiling as his head turned to China, “Want to stay in while I go get it?” He asked, resting his head on the steering wheel.

China knew the longer she kept it a secret, the more upset and hurt her siblings would be, but she also wasn’t willing to put them in a position where they had to keep things from her parents, so she knew she had no choice in the matter. For now she’d have to just keep it quiet, and whatever struggles or issues she had would be her own, since it wasn’t fair to keep doing this to Liam. Heavy eyes glanced over to him as they began parking up, waited for him to finish and glance to her before she gave him a worn out smile. “I don’t think Delta would be best pleased with another change in position.” She said, noted the dog literally was sticking to her like glue, and knew Delta realised something was going on. “Unless you want me to help? Then she can suck it up.” China was just a little worried the smells inside of the store may worsen her nausea which was definitely the opposite of why they were there.

Liam figured as much about Delta. Delta may not have known why she was being so protective so much of China but it was cute to witness. "I've got this." He said  reaching under his seat and pulling out a pillow. He dusted it off before resting it against the door on her side so she can rest her head against it. "I'll be back as soon i can." He kissing her cheek. He opened the door and let Dora out to sit next to China. "You keep watch, okay?" he said to the giant fur ball before giving her own kiss on her head and heading inside of the store. 

“Thank you.” China ghosted out softly as he put the pillow against the side of the door and kissed her cheek. She honestly owed him a hell of a lot, but she was so tired she couldn’t even think of where to start. China gave a smile to Dora as she sat beside her with a defensive stature. She stroked a hand over her head, “Hey, girl.” She made a note that the pups were owed treats, too. China waited to see Liam retreat into the store before she settled her head against the pillow. As she fell asleep she noted Dora and Delta adjusting a little over her like a bit of a puppy blanket, and it was comforting enough for her to rest for the time being. 

Liam had just found the aisle with crackers in it when his phone rang. "Ello?" he mumbled as he picked up a box and tried to make sure  they were not too much salt. 

"Liam. It's dad." He grabbed a box as he went to go find pretzels and more bread. He had previously on google that those three things help nausea. 

"Oh hey, everything went well." Liam said immediately. 

"Oh good. good. Are you two still coming out?" His father asked as Liam grabbed a bag of pretzels. 

"No, she needs rest. We both do." Liam admitted. He wasn't sure of the last time he had proper rest but he knew he was going to need it now before baby gets here. 

"Okay, son. We will see you soon, then?" Craig asked. 

"Oh of course. But hey dad I have to go. We will see you soon." Liam said placing his groceries onto the conveyor belt. 

"Okay. Give China our love. Bye." Craig said, Liam smiled as he hung the phone. 

He kept that smile as he paid for his things, shoving his phone in his pocket, headed back out to the truck. It was a unique feeling talking to his dad. He was realizing that even though his father didn't fully know yet, that he just had his first dad to dad talk. He was finally understanding what his brothers always praised about. How awesome it was to be a dad.

[ohh-baekhyun]

One Sunday Morning ♡

Genre: husband!AU, fluffy, vanilla smut, one-shot. Summary: A lovely sunday morning with Mr and Mrs Byun. 

“Babe, have you seen my camera?” your husband shouts from your bedroom on the second floor.

You glance up from the birthday cake you are decorating and think, “Have you checked the drawers?”

“Yeah, but it’s not in here.”

“What about the storage box under the bed?”

“There’s no storage box in here,” he let out a groan. “It’s like every goddamn thing in this house takes a walk––found it!”

You chuckle and continue decorating the cake. Your best friend’s son turns six today and she is hosting a party at the backyard of her house. While you are in charge of food preparation, your husband is in charge of photo taking. Although he isn’t a professional, he used to take up photography courses when he was younger and it is undeniable that he takes great pictures.

“Are the girls with you?” Baekhyun asks again, then you heard the bedroom door closing and his footsteps echoing.

“No, they are in their room.”

After checking on his daughters, Baekhyun leaves their room to look for you. As he leisurely walks down the stairs, he pauses at the sight of you standing by the kitchen counter. Affection moves through him and he smiles. You are wearing a cute little apron over your dress, your hair tied up into messy buns, and there are some icing cream smeared on both side of your cheeks. 

“My baby.” he mumbles to himself as he hold up his camera to snap a picture of you.

Hearing the shutter sound, you bring your head up to find your husband pointing his camera at you. You instantly smile and hold up the peace sign, assuming he is going to take another shot of you

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he peers up from the camera to stare quizzically at you. “What are you doing, babe?”

“Posing?” you reply as a matter of factly, still smiling and holding up the V sign.

He grins at you, mischief twinkling in his beautiful eyes. “I’m not taking your pictures though.”

Realizing he is messing around with you, you drop your hand and twist your lips in displeasure. Right in that second, the camera flashes to capture that pouty look on your face.

“Baekhyunnn!” you started whining, causing his grin to stretch wider. He just loves teasing you, it’s like his full time job, besides loving you of course.

“What is it baby?” his bottom lip juts forward to mimic your pout. “Do you want me to take a picture of you?

You shook your head petulantly. “Don’t want.”

“You are such a child.” he chuckles softly. “Come on, smile for me, I’ll take a picture of you.”

Instead of smiling, you narrow your eyes at him. Knowing how playful your husband can be, you suspect he is going to pull another prank on you. Once bitten, twice shy!

He smiles softly at your doubtful expression. “It’s not a bluff baby, I promise.”

“You promise?” you ask hesitantly, and when he nods, you decided to trust him and pose for the camera. You keep your smile intact while waiting for him to click the shutter, but… “Why do you take so long?” you ask through your smiling lips after waiting for a long ten seconds.

“Sorry babe,” he pulls his camera down. “it says storage is full.”

“You son of a–” you pressed your lips together to stop yourself from swearing. The kids might hear you and you are afraid they will pick up the foul language.

Baekhyun laughs heartily as he makes his way to you. Stopping by your side, his eyes roam your face and he reaches up to press the back of his palm to your forehead. “Are you feeling better?” unlike before, his voice is much more serious and caring this time. 

“I think so.” You’ve been down with flu for the whole week, but this morning you woke up feeling significantly better.

“Hmm,” he moves the back of his palm to the side of your neck. “your fever has gone down.”

You smile up at him with a few hopeful blinks. “Does it mean you can kiss me now that I’m no longer sick?”

He stares down at your lips puckering, then at you, then he chuckles. “I said your fever has gone down, but you are not completely recovered.”

Disappointment floods your feature. “No kiss kiss from Baekhyun?” you pout childishly. “Wife wife is saaad.”

To be honest, you are cringing inwardly at your cutesy act. But you know how much your husband loves it, so you don’t really mind doing it. Besides, it is also an effective way to persuade him into doing something. And in this case, giving you a kiss.

Baekhyun might seem unbothered on the outside, but inside he is squeeing like mad. For some reason, he finds it such a turn on when you act this way. He is so close to kissing you senseless, but he urges himself to hold onto some restrain. He wants to see more of your cute side.

“Try harder, baby.”

This time, you tilt your head to the side and try to pull that ‘puss in boots’ eyes. “Baekhyun,” you call to him sweetly. “I wuv youu soo muach, will you kiss me, pweeeaseee?”

That’s it.

That’s when his control snaps and you found yourself stumbling back into the fridge door as he pressed the length of his body against yours.

He locks you in his gaze, his eyes a mix of heat and affection. Heart pounding with excitement, you bit your lips through your smile as you know how much it turns him on.  

“Fuck,” he groans. “you are driving me crazy.” his low murmur brushes over your lips, and on the next beat his mouth slams down on your lips in a deep kiss. 

You smile contentedly against his lips, running your fingers through his soft hair as you deepen the kiss. The kiss turns dirty in seconds and it wasn’t long until you feel his erection between your legs.

You let out a moan and Baekhyun groans into your lips. The rumble of his voice sparks delicious tingles in between your legs, and soon you find yourself wet and needy for him. Then he pulled back, just enough to stare into your eyes. His gaze were so fierce with need you find yourself moaning his name. And at the sound of your voice, his feature grew tight and he starts grinding his hard-on against your crotch.

“Baekhyun,” you panted. “no-not here.”

He cut you mid-sentence with another kiss, “The kids are in their room.” he whispers against your lips, one hand moving underneath your dress, sliding your underwear down your legs.

“But, what if they–oh god.” you gasped at the suddenness as he thrusts two fingers inside you.

“Always so wet for me,” he murmurs darkly, eyes staring into yours as he pumps his fingers in and out of your wet pussy. “I’m going to fuck you against the fridge, baby, and it’s going to be hard. Are you ready?”

This is inappropriate–having sex in the kitchen when your children are home. Even if they couldn’t see you, they might hear you. But your need for your husband obliterates all rational senses and you find yourself nodding eagerly to his question.

Almost immediately, Baekhyun pulls his fingers out of you. In a brief second, his pants were down and you felt his cock nudging between your legs. Two hands grips the back of your thighs and he lifts you up. Automatically, you wrap your legs around his waist and whimper at the brush of his cock against your clit. He grabs hold your wrist and pinned them above your head, then, he thrusts into you. Hard.

You threw your head back and bit your lips to stifle the escaping moans and whimpers. His grip around your wrists tightens and he glides his throbbing cock in and out of you with increasing frenzy. Too overwhelmed by the sensation of his thickness moving inside you, you had to shut your eyes close. It wasn’t that long until you feel that coil of tension in your lower belly, you are so close to coming but Baekhyun stops altogether.

“Look at me, baby.” he whispers, one hand leaving your wrists to cradle the side of your face. “Give me those eyes.” 

Your breathing is shallow as you flutter your eyes open to meet with his low-lidded gaze. His chest heaves, and droplets of sweat collecting around his forehead. He looks so breathtakingly handsome for a second you forget how to breathe. You love him so much, it hurts sometimes. Does that even make sense?

“Baekhyun,” you whisper, your voice thick with longing desire. “let me come, please.”

With that, he presses his lips onto yours and starts moving his cock in and out of you. Your breathing grows out of control and his kiss turns erotic. Along with that, the rhythm of his thrusts accelerated, pushing you closer and closer into the brink of orgasm.

“Come for me, baby.” he demands, and with one hard thrust, the tension inside you escalates into breaking point. Orgasm rolled over you and you moan into his mouth as your body shudders. Your inner muscles clamp tightly around him, and as he grunts, you could feel his cock swelling before his hot release fills your pussy. 

“Fuck, that was hot.” he drops his head to the crook of your neck and his whole body slumps against you. For a while, the two of you remain still as you try to catch your breath and regain your senses.

“Baekhyun?” you call to him after a brief moment of silence.

“Hmm?” he hummed, pressing one kiss to your shoulder before lifting his head to look at you.

You flash a suggestive grin, feeling satisfied but not fully sated. 

Not understanding what your smile means, Baekhyun raises his eyebrows at you. “What?”

You put on your cutest smile for him. “Wife wife wants more…pleaaaseee.”

“God…” he sighs, his heart melting completely while staring at you like a love-sick idiot. “I love you so much.” 

“I know, I know.” you said impatiently. “Fuck me again. Now.”

Baekhyun frowns, “Are you not gonna say it back?”

You shake your head. “Sex first.”

He shakes his head too. “Say it first.”

“Nope.”

“No sex for you then.”

“I love youu.”

A grin replaces his frown and he kisses your lips. “Tell me how you want to be fucked, baby.”

(GIF credit to the rightful owner.)

[justsomelarryfics]

I have decided to start doing monthly fic recs! This will include all of the fics that I read, finished, and enjoyed this month. I will first do fics that came out this month, and then I will do ones that are older that I read this month.

Sorted by length

New this month

Happy Valentine’s Day, You Cockroach by @allwaswell16 -  Harry Styles, new director of the Milltown Zoo, has a great idea for a Valentine's Day themed fundraiser. For a donation, they'll name cockroaches after people's exes and then feed them to the meerkats on a live stream. He just didn't foresee how many cockroaches would end up with his name... (one shot, 2k)

What Am I Gonna Say When I See You by @runaway-train-works - “I wouldn’t have asked you to come if he didn’t want you there.” Louis hands her the gift bag when he reaches the pavement beside her and they turn to walk down the street to the house he has been in too many times to count. “I know you wouldn’t, but I haven’t seen him in forever. And you said it was just close family and friends going.” “You are close family and friends. A lot closer than I am. The main reason I’m going is because mum made me since she’s sick in bed with the flu.” Louis kind of wishes he was sick in bed with the flu. He shouldn’t be this apprehensive. It’s Harry. It’s only Harry. And yeah, they might not have seen each other in almost six years, but they're still friends. Aren’t they? Or The one where Louis' unsure if too much time has passed since he last saw his childhood best friend to try and make things right. (one shot, 7k)

I wish that I could let you love me for @popularryculture -  Could he handle leaving for six months? He asked himself in his head, and soon enough another question followed: could he handle staying, knowing who he would be staying for? (one shot, 12k, inspired by Little Mix’s song Oops)

If That’s Not Love Then What Is -  There are a few things in life that Louis Tomlinson cannot stand - Conversation Hearts candy and Harry Styles. But when Harry gets broken up with the day before Valentine's, and Louis is the only one he can turn to, he starts to reevaluate things. (one shot, 17k)

your rainbow will come smiling through by @hazkabaan for @popularryculture - when harry isn't working at his stepfather's cafe, he's trying to make swim captain and trying to finish all his coursework on time. when he's not doing any of those things, he's talking to the boy he met on the oxford hopefuls subreddit. when they decide to meet, he's elated. he finally gets the chance to meet the boy he's been crushing on! when the day comes to meet his prince, he learns that his online crush is none other than louis tomlinson, captain of the football team and friend of his terrible stepbrothers. now harry has to decide whether telling louis the truth is the right choice or if it's better to just let sleeping dogs lie. a cinderella story au (one shot, 17k)

Brave Love by @angelichl -  Harry breaks up with his boyfriend a day before Valentine's Day and Louis tries to cheer him up. (one shot, 17k)

Tell Me Your Secrets by @dimpled-halo for @popularryculture - “You!” They both yell in unison. Niall looks between the two of them. “You know each other?”Harry scoffs and looks away from Louis Tomlinson to meet Niall’s gaze. “Remember that guy in college I told you about? The one that was at that frat party and drunk as fuck and then I gave him a ride to his dorm but on our way there he decided to pee in an empty cup in my car?” Niall’s eyes widen and he stares at Louis laughing. “You mean the one who spilled his piss all over you?” “Hey, that wasn’t my fault. Harry here was being a little priss the entire time and he ran over a speed bump without slowing down and it caused me to make a mess. You also didn’t have to leave me stranded in the middle of the night for something you caused.” Louis snaps back. Harry rolls his eyes. “Whatever.” A For a Good Time Call au where Harry and Louis get off on the wrong foot when they first meet. When dire circumstances forces them to become roommates, Harry finds out some things about Louis that he doesn't expect will help him discover some things about himself. (chaptered, complete, 17k)

Soup of the Day by @jacaranda-bloom - It had been the single minded goal for them since college and seemed simple enough. 1. Study hard. 2. Open their dream restaurant. 3. Take the culinary world by storm.What could possibly go wrong? Or the Restaurant AU where Louis and Niall are chefs, Chicago is windy, and cracking the big time is harder than they ever imagined. But when a mysterious man starts grading Louis' soups by leaving little piles of rocks, could it be just the thing they need to get them on the road to success? (chaptered, complete, 19k)

If You’re The Storm, Then I’m The Chaser by @loveislarryislove for @popularryculture - An AU based on Ed Sheeran's song "New Man" Louis is back in town for the first time since he and Harry broke up six months ago. He's not sure what would hurt more, if Harry has moved on or if he's still as torn up as Louis is. He never even considered that Harry would be acting like a completely different person. And maybe he really is as happy as he keeps insisting, but Louis really doesn't think so.~*~*~*~“Who are you and what have you done to Harry Styles?” It sounds corny as fuck, and Harry bursts into laughter, but Louis means it. He barely recognizes Harry, every word out of his mouth sounding like it belongs to someone else. This isn’t him. This isn’t him at all. “I’m the same person,” Harry says with a shrug. “I just get what I want now. And tonight, that means you.” "This just isn't you,” Louis says, shaking his head. “This isn’t the Harry I lo – the Harry I knew at all.” Harry stares at him for a long moment. “Maybe you didn’t know me as well as you thought,” he says at last. (one shot, 21k, read warnings)

The Pain Is For Pleasure by @chloehl10 for @hlbdsmficfest - “Louis, please. I promise you, you are so attractive to me. I love you, and I think you are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with-”“But Harry, that’s the fucking problem! You haven’t been with me, have you?! You don’t want me in that way, it’s pretty clear…” He cut him off, feeling that he was about to say something he would later regret. “If there’s a problem, I wish that you felt you could have told me, rather than, well, this.”“Louis, I-”“Just leave it, Haz. I get it, okay?”“No! You don’t, you have no fucking idea, Louis!”Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him? (chaptered, complete, 67k)

Older fics

an honest mistake by @disgruntledkittenface for @1dshortficfest - “You look different when you’re not covered in come,” he blurts out, immediately regretting each and every life choice that has led to this exact moment. Elevator Guy is going to hate him. Louis has ridden the elevator with his neighbor all week. The first time they speak, there’s a misunderstanding. (one shot, 2k, 2019)

Take Your Time by @laynefaire for @litelarryquotechallenge - When Harry finds himself in the middle of a messy break-up with no place to live, Louis offers a spare room in his flat. Unbeknownst to Harry, Louis has been infatuated for years. Over the objections of their friends, who know the truth, Harry accepts. Can Louis survive Harry moving into his home…and closer to his heart? Will Harry see what's right in front of him? (one shot, 11k, 2018)

don’t be afraid, it’s only love -  A proposal!AU where Louis is at risk of being deported back to England and Harry just really wants a promotion. (one shot, 14k, 2013)

Never Too Late by @dimpled-halo - Harry’s confused for a moment before it hits him: the little boy is signing. Harry squats down to get to the boy’s level again and mirrors the same action. “Dad?” He inquires. Harry learned basic sign language after having met a fan who was deaf. He made it his mission to learn signing so that he’d be able to communicate with other fellow hearing impaired fans.The little boy smiles brightly, his tears now long gone. He goes on to extend both hands, palms up as if he’s asking where? Followed by the previous sign which means Dad. Harry smiles to himself at the amazing little guy standing in front of him.He stands up taking the boy’s hand, “Let’s go find your dad,” he tells him making the motion with his hand.Just having come out of the closet and recovering from vocal surgery, famous recording artist Harry Styles needs to get away from LA to work on new music needing to prove to his label that his career isn't over. Little does he know that his life is about to change forever when he runs into an old friend at the city he's decided to escape to. (one shot, 18k)

what, like it’s hard? by @thewriternotthemuse for @popularryculture - Louis sighs contentedly. “I’m just so marvelously happy, ya’ know?” “Good for you.” “It really is. It’s--it’s quite grand, actually. I’m going to my dream school with my dream man, to whom I am engaged. I have great friends. Life couldn’t be better.” “Very happy for you.” “Thanks.” Louis beams before her expression falls. “And then you had to come here and ruin everything.” “Yeah, I know,” Harry snaps. “I’m the bane of your existence for some reason.” “You certainly are,” Louis says, considering Harry. ~~~ In which Harry goes to law school to win back her man, but gets a lot more than she bargained for. (one shot, 21k, 2019)

Making Waves by @haztobegood for @popularryculture - After Louis Tomlinson, an arrogant millionaire, is thrown overboard and loses his memory, a mistreated employee convinces him that they are married. Thrust into an unfamiliar life he cannot remember, Louis must learn to live with his new husband and daughters and adjust to a less extravagant life. Or, the one where Louis can’t remember, Harry needs money, and Niall has a plan. An Overboard AU. (one shot, 30k, 2019)

Keep on Dreaming, This is Hollywood - Louis Tomlinson, a pop star manager, makes his way to LA with a pop star (and his new music demands) and a very busy schedule. Harry Styles came to Los Angeles with a dream and ended up sharing a flat and an occupation with a male prostitute from Ireland. What happens when Louis meets Harry, and makes him an offer he can't refuse? AKA A Pretty Woman AU where Louis is the high-powered businessman and Harry is the hooker. No, there is no necklace scene, but there is definitely piano sex. (one shot, 31k, 2013)

Is This Seat Taken? by @lainy122 - A borrowed suit from Zayn, a cigarette and the right attitude, and Louis went from security breach to misplaced celebrity instantly. He could practically see the wheels in the security guy’s head switch from ‘could be dangerous’ to ‘could get me fired’. L.A was so predictable.Louis makes a bet with Zayn that he can sneak into a music awards event without getting caught, and when he ends up posing as a seat-filling member of staff he runs into superstar Harry Styles and sparks fly. Que the music. (one shot, 35k, locked, 2015)

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

Suppose John has a heart condition, he's had it since birth and generally he's been able to cope and live a normal(ish) life, but then one night during a mid 80's concert he suddenly collapses backstage with a suspected heart attack?

I couldn’t find anything saying specific heart conditions caused heart attacks. Of the risk factors I saw, the two that ring out to me are stress and substance abuse. I hope that’s okay with you.

♚

John felt fine.

Well, he did when he first got on stage.

Maybe he was a little more tired than usual, but he was acting like himself, prancing around the stage in his tiny shorts, laughing and dancing. It was when they reached the halfway mark of the show did he start to feel...off.

He couldn’t find the exact words for it. Perhaps a little dizzy. Light headed. Woozy. It was subtle, so he kept playing, trading in his mini bar drinks for actual water. He didn’t feel drunk, but some proper hydration couldn’t hurt. A few martini’s could really sneak up on you if you didn’t pay attention.

It certainly didn’t help though. That weird feeling continued to rise, in his chest or stomach. He wasn’t sure. His torso felt strained. John slowed down on his dancing a bit, hoping it was over exertion. God, he could really go for a cigarette right about now.

His fingers flew up and down the neck board, looking up to smile at Freddie every so often. Nobody around him knew. Of if they knew, what they knew was that he was high, which wasn’t true. Not at the moment, at least. He looked fine otherwise. Subdued by his usual standard, but nothing drastic. He noticed the change though and it made him nervous. He always worried, though. That was his thing. Worrying until he his nose was buried in some white stuff that made it all go away. 

The worst case scenario was that he was coming down with a flu. Best case scenario was that he was drunk. Middle case scenario was that he was withdrawing. He could handle any of them.

John looked down at his bass, his vision blurring slightly. That’s fine. You just had too much to drink. Keep drinking water and you’ll be okay. He kept saying this to himself, even when he broke out into a cold sweat. It was like his blood turned to ice, coursing painfully south, away from his brain and into his feet. He shivered, wiping away at the sweat on his forehead that felt glacial. Oh, he definitely had the flu. His drunken escapades and lowest highs never felt remotely like this. He prayed he could make it another 30 minutes before the sneezing and runny nose started.

John was steadfast in his belief that he was coming down with something, even after the first pang of nausea hit him. John was a smart man but when things got too serious, he preferred to ignore them. Which he was doing an excellent job of at the moment. He was really good at ignoring reality altogether. He swayed instead of danced, his fingers beginning to shake, missing a few notes here and there. His chest began to grow tight, a terrifying sensation. He’d never had the flu like this before. But it was the flu. It had to be. It couldn’t be anything else. Just a horrible, horrible flu. 

“John,” Brian hissed as he walked over to the bassist, still playing, pretending they were going to jam out together. The music sounded drowned out to John.

“You look pale as a ghost. Are you okay?” Brian said loud enough for John to hear. Brian feared John was preforming while under the influence. Not that it wasn’t a regular thing anymore. John nodded but he didn’t feel okay. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, a tingling in the back of his neck. He’d never fainted before, but he had a feeling this is what it felt like before you dropped.

“I’m fine. Think I’ve got the flu,” he said, his whole body trembling. And then Brian and John didn’t say anything else because everything went black. 

John was lucky he wasn’t conscious for all the gasps in the venue when he landed face first on the floor. Or for when Freddie dropped his mic and ran over to him, Brian kneeling down, yelling amidst the chaos, Roger running backstage for a phone. 

He was really lucky he wasn’t awake when the paramedics got there and started CPR, his ribs breaking in the process. Or when they had to intubate him and ship him off to surgery. 

Most of all, John was lucky that he lived.

When he was wheeled out of the OR, the doctor was shocked he hadn’t had a heart attack weeks ago. Surprised he could even stand for as long as he did. He survived though. He’d recover and there’d be little damage to his heart. John was okay. 

John didn’t feel okay when he woke up. He was confused, his chest sore and his body aching. He tried to get up but somebody pushed him back down.

“Hey there, trooper. Relax. You’re at hospital. Everything’s okay,” a voice said, which he recognized as Roger’s.

John looked around, the room beginning to make sense. All the white and the soft beeping, the IV in his wrist. 

“W-What happened?” he croaked, throat still raw from the intubation. He could see Roger standing besides him, Brian in the far off corner and Freddie sitting down on a chair, eye’s red and glassy.

“You had a heart attack, mate. Right in the middle of Save Me. Scared us pissless,” he replied, a hand going delicately onto John’s shoulder.

John’s eyebrows shot up, his mouth going agape. Heart attack? He’s only in his 30′s! Heart attacks are an old man thing! How the hell did he give himself one?

The confusion in his face was evident, Roger trying to fill in the gaps the best he could. “Uh, well, the doctor will be in soon, I suppose. But he told us a few things could cause heart attacks in youngin’s like you. Stress, tobacco, alcohol and, um...” Roger closed one nostril with his finger, inhaling deeply, the international sign for coke. 

John would blush if he wasn’t so pale. 

All of those..problems he was having would be something for him and the doctor to discuss. He loved his band but he loathed making himself vulnerable in front of them. He wasn’t one to even acknowledge his issues in the first place. He sure as hell wasn’t gonna use them as sit down therapists.

He had other pressing matters to get to either way. A hand flew to his chest, anticipating the sensation of bandages and stitches. “Did they...?” Cut me open, he wanted to say.

Freddie chimed in. “No. They put a tubey thingy in your thigh, all the way up to your heart and fixed..the thing,” Freddie should have let Roger continue answering the questions. He was still too frazzled after all of this. And Brian was brain dead, apparently. 

“Yeah..what he said,” Roger echoed, not knowing how to explain it any better than that. 

“Look, things are gonna be messy for a while. Just remember we’re here for you, Deacy. You’re not going through this alone,” Roger said with a smile. It was hard seeing their youngest like this. And to be truthful, they all felt guilty for not intervening sooner. But this is where they were now and all they wanted was for John to get better. Physically and mentally.

John nodded, shame welling up in him. His heart monitor jumped in speed, making everyone in the room shiver. “Sorry,” he said in a crackled voice, a familiar darkness settling into his stomach.

“Aw, John. C’mon. You two come here, this boy needs a hug,” Roger said, waving Freddie and Brian over to the bed. They surrounded the bed, all eyes on John, a mixture of emotions on all their faces. 

They all took turns, giving him a hug, mussing up his hair, whispering encouraging words to him. It felt nice but John still felt responsible for this mess. That was until it was Freddie’s turn.

He pulled John into a tight embrace, holding him there for a moment. He pulled away, hands still gripping onto him. His eyes expressed so much. They were so tender and warm as he spoke. “I love you, John. We love you,” he said, in a way that made John feel 19 again. 19, young, innocent, untouched and safe. 

John couldn’t stop his eyes from watering or stop himself from burying his face into Freddie’s chest, letting out small broken sobs. They all began to rub his back, cooing at him. Reminding him that they were there for him. That things were going to get better. He’d get better. Things were going to go back to normal.

“I’m scared,” John stuttered in between the tears. Three pairs of arms held onto him tighter.

“We’ve got you, Deacy. We’re not gonna let go. Never.”

Save me, save me, save me,

I can’t face this alone.

Save me, save me, save me,

I’m naked and I’m far from home.

[superfreakerz]

How about some nalu fluff where a l Natsu tending to and fussing over his sick mate after she contract the flu with his protective and territorial instincts acting up ? He could be eve more protective and territorial than he already is on account of he being hill. he also doesn’t want other people encroaching on time with Lucy it trust them enough to take proper care of her— save a select few . That said, he’s always quick to shower plenty of on affection on her.

“Sick Day”

Rated K.

Summary: Lucy’s sick and Natsu takes it upon himself to nurse her back to health the best he can.

Sick Day

The first thing Natsu heard when he woke up were faint sniffles. Sitting straight up, he focused on the sounds, finding it was coming from the bathroom. Gently getting out of bed so as not to wake Happy, the boy tiptoed towards the bathroom, slowly turning the doorknob and peering inside to find Lucy sitting on the edge of the tub. Her golden locks were tied into a messy bun while a blanket was wrapped around her. Her nose was red, her eyes watery as she sniffled.

Natsu opened the door fully, stepping inside.

“What’s wrong, Lucy?” he asked, his lips curled downwards into a concerned frown. He always hated seeing his girlfriend upset. “Why’re you crying?”

Lucy looked up at him, cocking her head to the side. “What? I’m not crying?”

“You aren’t?”

“No, I’m sick. It��s just a cold, nothing too serious.”

Natsu arched a brow. For someone with slobby behavior, he never got sick. He didn’t know if colds were fatal or not, and he wasn’t going to risk anything with Lucy.

“Do you want me to get Wendy?” he asked.

“No! It’s just a cold, I don’t want her to waste her energy on something small like this.”

“Here, let’s get you to bed then,” Natsu said, taking her hand. He grabbed a roll of toilet paper as well. “For your nose.”

“Ahh, thanks.”

Natsu gently nudged Happy awake. Lucy was sick, so she needed the bed, and he didn’t want Happy to get sick too.

“What time is it?” Happy asked, rubbing his tired eyes.

“Ehh, it’s pretty early,” Natsu answered. “Lucy’s sick. How about you and I go sleep on the couch?”

Without bothering to reply, Happy flew to the couch and passed out in seconds. Natsu ushered Lucy into bed, waiting for her to get settled before taking the blanket and wrapping her up like a burrito. Then, he pulled a chair up so that he could be at her side. Brushing some of the strands of hair that were stuck to her face, he smiled at her.

“You’re gonna be okay, Luce,” he said.

“I know,” Lucy replied, arching a brow. “It’s just a cold. Do you know what a cold is?”

Natsu shrugged. “Sick is sick. And I’m gonna take care of you.” His eyes brightened, an excited gleam glinting in his onyx orbs. “I’m gonna be your doctor!

"Oh boy, here we go,” Lucy muttered. She knew better than anyone that once Natsu Dragneel set his mind to something, he was going to follow through. And even though a simple day’s rest would’ve had her feeling better in no time, she knew that with him being this fired up about being her doctor only meant trouble.

“I’ll go make you some soup!” Natsu exclaimed, rushing into the kitchen. Opening the pantry, he looked for cans of soup. “Lucy, where do you keep the soup?”

“We don’t have any cans. You have to make it yourself. But I’ll be fine, Natsu! I don’t need any-!”

“Then I’ll make it!”

From her spot on the bed, Lucy squeezed her eyes shut. “Please don’t let him burn down the house, please don’t let him burn down the house, please don’t let him burn down the house!” Knowing that Natsu was a hazard in the kitchen, the girl tried to wriggle free from the blankets. To her chagrin, she was swaddled so tightly she couldn’t escape. “It’s no use. He’s going to burn this whole place down… Again.” At least she wasn’t still living in her old apartment.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Natsu rolled up his sleeves, an excited grin resting on his face. He never made soup before in his life, but he was going to make sure it was awesome. Grabbing the ingredients he thought he needed, he lined them up. Carrots, celery, chicken.

With a shrug, he began his efforts of making soup, cutting up the vegetables and throwing the chicken into the oven. It took a while for the chicken to cook, but he was actually really pleased with how it turned out. The smell drifted throughout the small cottage.

“Okay, now what do I do with all of this?” Natsu asked himself, cupping his chin in thought. He had the chicken and the vegetables, but where was the soup? Taking a pot, he filled it with water and put it on the stove. Once the water finished boiling, he poured some of it into a bowl for Lucy before throwing in the chicken and vegetables. “Finished!”

With an eager grin, Natsu approached Lucy at the bed.

“Ready for your soup, Luce?” he asked, practically bouncing in place.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” the blonde replied. “I just hope I don’t get food poisoning on top of this cold.”

“Alright, then come get it!”

“Oh, I can’t. You swaddled me so tightly, I can’t get out.”

Natsu chuckled, setting the bowl of soup on the nightstand before rubbing the back of his head. “Oops. Wanted to keep you warm.” Grabbing a fistful of the blanket, he yanked on it with ease, pulling it off of her.

“Thanks,” Lucy said, smiling at him. She sat up and accepted the bowl of… Well she wasn’t sure what it was. Obviously, it was supposed to be soup. There was the chicken, the vegetables, but why was the soup so clear? Knowing that Natsu was watching her in anticipation, she scooped up some of its contents and brought it to her lips. She took a bite, her brows arching. “Natsu, is this water?”

“Yeah!” the boy replied, his grin growing. “How’d you know?”

“J-Just a hunch,” Lucy replied. Instead of making a broth, he actually boiled water and put it into the bowl and called it soup.

“Well? Go on, Luce! Eat up so that you feel better!”

Lucy swallowed thickly. She’d honestly rather starve than take another bite. But, seeing Natsu’s happy face, she pushed through.

Once finished, Lucy gratefully handed the empty bowl to Natsu, glad to be finished with his concoction. He went to put the bowl in the sink when he heard a knock at the door. Opening it, he found Gray and Erza standing outside.

“What’re you guys doin’ here?” he asked, arching a brow.

“That’s what we were wondering about you guys,” Gray replied going to shove his hands in his pockets before he realized he had somehow lost his pants along the way. “We were supposed to head out on a job but you guys never showed up.”

“There had better be a good reason for that,” Erza added, her features darkening as she glared at Natsu.

The boy held his hands up in surrender. “Oh! My bad, I totally forgot! Lucy’s sick, so I’ve been takin’ care of her.”

“Sick?”

“Yeah, she’s got a cold.”

“And you’re taking care of her?” Gray asked. “Poor thing is never going to recover now. Not with this idiot acting as her doctor.”

“What’d you just say!?” Natsu shouted, glowering at him.

“You heard me. What? Wanna fight?”

“Hell yeah I wanna-!”

“Shut up,” Erza interrupted, bashing their heads together like coconuts. “Lucy is sick. Quit your yelling and let’s go check on her.”

Natsu held his hand out, stopping them. “Nope. You guys aren’t allowed to see her.”

“The hell?” Gray asked. “Why not?”

“Because she’s sick and I’m supposed to be the one to take care of her.”

“Well I doubt you’re doin’ a good job so let us in already.”

Natsu bashed Gray upside the head as the other boy took a step towards his cottage. “For your information, I just made some awesome soup for her that she loved. I got this. You would just make things worse, so go.”

Gray rubbed the sore spot on his head, about to go in for a hit of his own when Erza grabbed his wrist.

“Alright,” the redhead stated. “We’ll be on our way then. Tell Lucy we said we hope she feels better soon.”

“Will do.” With that, Natsu closed the door, heading back to the bed. Approaching her, he found her peacefully asleep in bed, her mouth parted slightly as drool trickled out. She must not have been able to breathe through her nose with her cold.

Smiling, he sat at her bedside, watching her sleep. Despite being sick, she seemed so peaceful.

“Must’ve been the soup I made.”

The next morning, Lucy’s eyes blinked open as sunlight filtered through the cracks of the curtains. Sitting up in bed, she raised her arms above her head in a stretch. Glancing to her side, she found Natsu asleep while sitting in the same chair he’d been in yesterday.

A warm smile stretched across her face. He must’ve fallen asleep while taking care of her. Sure enough, her sniffles were gone, and she felt better than ever thanks to her slumber.

Hearing Lucy shuffling in bed, Natsu cracked a yawn before opening his eyes. Studying her, he found that her nose wasn’t red like before and she wasn’t sniffling anymore. She looked back to normal.

“How ya feeling?” he asked.

“Great,” Lucy answered.

“Yosh! I nursed you back to full health! I didn’t need Wendy after all!”

A giggle slipped past Lucy’s lips as she nodded. Grabbing Natsu by the scarf, she pulled him closer and planted a kiss over his lips. “Thank you for taking care of me, Natsu.”

The boy gave a lopsided grin, ruffling her hair.

“Anything for you, Luce.”

[meetmeatmidnightsblog]

Why she disappeared ( part one)

I don't know why I wanted to write a story where Taylor finds out she's pregnant with Joe's baby after they've been together for 4 years.

Let me know what you guys think.

XXX

Taylor stared at the positive pregnancy tests that was in the sink. Of course she wanted to have kids with him, who wouldn't?. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror to see if there were any noticeable changes in her body. She didn't have any morning sickness for the first couple of days. A lot of other fans have told her how brutal it can be. She needs to tell Joe, after all this is his baby.

That made her heart skip, her fingers wiggle, as clear signs of her own nervousness creep up. She tried to imagine his reaction in her head. It spun the tables around to the worst possible situations that might occur. She placed a hand on the necklace he gave her for Christmas, took deep breaths.

'You're pregnant, we're really going to have a baby.' he squeals like a child who just received the best gift of there life. He kisses her soft lips, tastes the sweet flavor of her mouth as they collide.

She focused on the nicer picture, pretends that he's going to be ecstatic about there little bundle of joy that's growing inside her stomach.

The pictures came crashing down when reality sinks into her mind. She knew that this little bundle of joy was never going to be safe from the media, or her fans. This innocent baby would grow up in the spotlight, be bullied by other kids, end up being left with a crippling heart from the number of heart breaks, and pain that boys can cause. The hours you spend crying over them because you we're never the one they choose.

Taylor eyes swelled up with tears as she thinks back to the life she had, everything she lived without. She leans on the sink, mascara runs down her cheeks. The media would lash out over this story for weeks, if someone caught her in public. It would at least give the world some entertainment as her fans freak out over the news for years to come. She slid onto the cool titled floor, tucks her chin down, just waiting for the swinging door to hit her.

Joe came home, after a long photo shoot. He was excited about being home. He took off his coat, and shoes. He was disappointed that his girlfriend wasn't here to greet him with hugs, and kisses. He walked up the stairs and heard loud sobs coming from the bathroom.

When she cried, he cried. She was worried, he was concerned. He knows her well enough. She wasn't acting like her true self. He knocked on the door, but no one answered. He thought that she collapsed, or fell. He jiggled the lock, opened it.

He found her lying on the floor, tucked in a ball. He's never seen her look so small. He picks her up, wraps his arms around her. He sets her down on the bed, patiently waiting for her to speak. He's wittness a few break downs, where she would completely shut down, avoid him as if he had the plague.

They would go for weeks without taking. She could calm down, open up after her body recovered. Taylor lifts her head up, as her messy blonde hair covers those stained cheeks, dark mascara lines, faded red lips.

Joe pushes her bangs out of the way, lifts her chin up. She felt defeated, broken and exposed. All of her insecurities, her trust issues, and body shaming was beating up her self confidence. He grabs a tissue, washes away the mess, finds the beauty, resilience that he loves most about her.

"Taylor, what's gotten into you?."

Her emotions have ruined his home coming. She still doesn't know how to share this news with him. He might not want this baby. He might break up with her, and force her to raise this infant on her own as a single mother.

"I.... I..." she stumbled through her words. This was a new bridge to cross. One that had treacherous waters down below. The tears spilled over her lids, trickles along her adorable dimples.

"Deep breaths, love." he reassured her.

Taylor fidget with the necklace, as her face turns pale like a ghost. It felt like she was going to die, the vomit came up her throat. She struggled to find the words that lingered on the tip of her tongue.

Joe grabbed the small garage can, placed it in front of her as she pukes. He holds up most of her hair, ran his fingers along her thigh. Was she sick with the flu?. He was more than concerned over her health.

The singer pukes up most of her dinner, lunch, and snack into the garbage can. The noises we're even more gross. He didn't need to see or hear her like this. She brought up more bille, as he held onto the tin. He checked her forehead, it was hot. He should call the doctor?.

It was a long time, before she finally stopped puking. He put the garbage can down. She rests her head on his shoulder, trying to hold what was left in her stomach. His hand raced for the garage, she vomits.

"I'm going to call your mother."

Taylor shook her head. She didn't need him to call her mother. She wouldn't mind seeing her, right now. She felt sicker then the time she got food posioning. She was too weak, limp to protest.

Joe called Taylor's mother Andrea, told her everything that's going on. She hung up the phone, drove over to there house, and found her daughter upstairs, glued to the trashcan. She felt her forehead, it was burning up.

"Honey, you need to see a doctor."

"No, mom, I don't!." she snapped at Andrea.

Her stomach wasn't doing enough flips already. Her stress levels were not helping. She grips the garbage can even more as vomit comes out of her mouth.

Andrea quickly connected the dots. Her daughter was not sick with the flu, or some strange stomach bug, she is pregnant.

Horrific morning sickness was something she deal with during both of her pregnancy's. She didn't know if Joe was aware of what's going on. She wasn't going to drop the bomb on him like that.

She went to the kitchen, made Taylor's favorite soup, chicken noodle. She feed the cats, gave them fresh water for the night. She brought up the cup of liquids, a small packet of jello. She needed something in her system.

The smell of warm broth, fruity jello sounded appealing to her taste buds. Joe feed her the soup, one sip at a time. Andrea left the two lovers alone. She changed the bag out, went into the outside the house, threw it away.

XXX

Taylor started to feel more normal. Less nasious than before. The soup settled her stomach. She reached for the jello, as Joe fed her tiny bite size pieces. How did she get this lucky?. She often wondered, but never could find the answer she was seeking.

"Tay, please tell me what's going on?. I've never seen you this ill before." his voice was concerned, filled with worry. She can see it in his ocean blue eyes.

"I'm pregnant. 3-4 weeks to be exact. I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid you might walk out on me. I got cursed with a bad case of morning sickness, well the rest is history."

Joe proceeded the news. He was excited about having a baby with her. He didn't show it every well because his nerves were shot. He moves next to her, strokes her cheeks.

"You're really pregnant?!. Oh my gosh."

She was not expecting that from him. He managed to catch her off guard. She couldn't believe his words. This was the picture she always wanted.

Was this all in her head?.

[nitaescence]

Come Back Home

Pairing : Idol&Boyfriend!Taehyung x Girlfriend!Reader

Genre : Fluff, Smut

Word Count : 2.8 k

Taehyung [19:14] Where are u? 

You [19:14] On my way...

You[19:14] Traffic is hell :(

Taehyung [19:15] D:

You sighed heavily, looking at the never ending lines that cars formed in front of yours. Your left foot started to feel sore from holding it in a set position for a long time and you decided to apply the hand break, flexing your ankle to sooth the pain.

Stress of your job had really been getting to you and right after it you had to go in different pharmacies to get the specific medications your soon-to-be-cured boyfriend needed besides grocery shopping for tonight’s dinner. In short, it had been a long tiring day and you just wished to be home already. 

The tickling feeling the messages set off against your clothed thighs drew your head down and you saw texts running from bottom to top. You tossed it on the plastic bags containing the meds on the passenger seat and rubbed your eyes, disengaging the hand brake as the traffic flew more fluidly. You wanted every last bit of energy still present inside of you focused on the road and tried to ignore your boyfriend's nagging and whining.

Another ten minutes and you saw the corner of your building and turned to go in the underground car park. You called the elevator trying your best to stay upright, your legs shaking because of your sore feet which couldn’t handle your high heels anymore. When the doors opened, you mentally cursed yourself for choosing those specific shoes. You avoided looking at your reflection in the mirror, sparing yourself the view of your tired features and your messy hair. It must had been the thirtieth time you sighed that day as you watched the red digits going up. You closed your heavy eyelids, your gaze progressively melting into a haze of lashes, resting them for what felt only a couple of seconds before you heard the melodious ring. 

You shuffled slowly towards your entrance door and the thought of having to search though your purse to find the key physically challenged you but you didn’t want to bother Taehyung probably still lying under layers of blankets like when you left him hours earlier.

You threw all your bags on the floor to look in the mess your purse was. The second the bags touched the floor, the door swung open, leading to raise your head with a look of surprise and confusion. You frowned in front of a tired Taehyung, half hidden behind a thick scarf coiled roughly around his neck.

“Tae, what th- ... I told you to lie still”

He stared at you under heavy lids, remaining motionless. You were actually glad that he opened the door for you and quickly gathered the bags as he stepped aside closing it behind you. He followed you like a puppy to the kitchen where you put all your shopping bags on the counter.

“You didn’t reply to my messages...” He suddenly said in a hoarse muffled voice. He watched you washing your hands and taking out a long box from one of the plastic bags. You opened the syrup, poured it in the plastic spoon provided with it and waited for Taehyung to open his mouth. You were only focused on him getting his medication and noticed his frown under his bangs as he chose to ignore the spoon. 

“Come on, it’s going to spill. Open.”

He nudged the scarf under his chin with a slight head movement to reveal his pouty lips. He eventually opened and closed them keeping the pout, his face twitching when the syrup reach his throat. 

“You don’t know how long it took me to find your meds so there’s no way you’re not taking them.”

You closed the bottle tightly and reached for the flu pills. You handed him two with a cup of water and put away groceries.

“Couch. Now. I’ll make dinner.” You said, pointing the sofa from which he stood up before opening the door. You didn’t let him protest and left in your room to change into more comfortable clothes. When you came out of the bathroom connected to your room, you saw him standing against the frame door wrapped in a blanket that formed a weird pointy shape above his head.

“Tae, what are you doing? I told you to lie down.” You turned him around and pushed him towards the couch, making him sit. “Don’t move.”

You headed back in the kitchen as he eyes followed you as he sniffed with all his might. You tried your best to stay alert even though tiredness makes itself felt. Taehyung kept his eyes on you and eventually lied on his side. 

Thirty minutes later, you came back with a tray full of different dishes and put it on the table near him. You looked at him and brought a hand to his forehead. The fever was almost gone but it still felt warm under your palm.

“Poor baby.” You cooed turning your lips upside down and helped him to sit up. He leaned his head on your shoulder while you took one spoon and plunged it in the hot stew.

“I'm almost cur-” He started to say, raising his head again.

You shoved it in his mouth and chuckled in front of his surprised look. You feed him, smiling at the way he would open his mouth like a child, his eyes widening at the same time. You shifted between your spoon and his, feeding yourself when he was busy chewing. 

Warm food really had good effects on both of you. Your exhaustion seemed to go away thanks to Taehyung and he seemed to look even more better with hot food in his system, making him seem less puny.

You stood up and brought the tray back to the kitchen and washed the dishes. You left Taehyung alone a couple of minutes and came back sitting in the couch next to his.

You heard him clear his throat, “I didn’t tell you to hurry so that you would sit far from me.”

You smiled at him and noticed that his scarf was pushed on top of his head, lifting his bangs, showing his forehead and exposing his collarbones under his low cut shirt. You always had a weakness for his eyebrows, needless to say you found him even more attractive when he slightly frowned them. 

“C’mere.” Taehyung lifted the blankets to the side on his bent leg and opened his other arm for you to lie, showing you your assigned spot next to him.

“Tae, you haven't fully recovered and getting sick is the last thing I need.”

“I just want to feel you against me. I won’t kiss you... even if I crave it.”

“You know that it takes less than kisses to get ill.”

“Please.” He pouted and his frowning increased. “I’m getting cold.”

You found it hard to resist him, but you only rolled your eyes and sighed, bringing your attention back to the T.V. He then had a coughing fit or rather a faked one, clutching his shirt on his chest over-dramatically. You looked at him, amused by his acting and eventually yielded to grant his wish. His exaggerated frown of desperation switched to a square box smile as you walked to him.

“I only came so that I could watch the show peacefully.” You stated as he pulled the covers over your bodies. He circled your waist and pulled you in his frame. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, it felt good to be able to feel each other after several days of being apart due to his late state. He was feeling better but you could still hear the light snoring caused by his stuffed nose fanning your nape and the high heat emanating from his body. You nuzzled your back even more into his chest and he tightened his grip.

After a moment, you felt his head resting against your shoulder.

“Are you sleeping?” You asked in a quiet voice, tilting your head to glance at him.

“Hmm... Rather trying to sleep off something.” He replied, his voice muffled by your hair.

“What’s wrong?” You asked worried and attempted to sit up but his embrace was too strong.

“Nothing... just a hard on.” He shyly confessed.

His shaky voice indicated that he didn’t just got it but sounded more like he had for a while now. He remained still behind your body while your felt yours heating up and shuddering at his unexpected revelation. You were completely oblivious to his sexual arousal and could make out the desperation in his voice, far different from the one he acted out minutes ago when he pleaded you to join him. Then, you couldn’t help but wonder what made him think that you, lying next to him would make things any better. 

You let out a quiet gasp as a response and unintentionally pressed your thighs together seeking some sort of friction. You tried a second time to wiggle out of his embrace to be able to look at his face and you felt him loosened a bit around you. 

“Tae... you’re not in condition for this...” You said in a soft voice, attempting not to let him realize how it only took few words to affect you.

You stared at the cute nest his hair formed on the pillow. He slowly raised his head, towering you, to meet your gaze and you could clearly see his dilated pupils, turning darker from lust.

“I know... but I need you... It's been so long.”

His despair just seemed to grow even more and you felt his crotch pressing your ass. You were in two mind-sets; on one hand, the heat maturing rapidly in the pit of your stomach told you to yield to him again and on the other, his still ill-state needed him to rest so as to fully recover.

As if he'd read your dilemma in your eyes, feeling the need to persuade you into your first choice, he sneaked a hand to stroke your core on your boxer shorts.

“Tae-”

You placed your hand on top of his warm arm to daunt him.

“Please...” He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, applying more pressure against your slit.

Any bit of sleepiness still left in you was quickly removed by his ministrations dampening your panties. You bit your bottom lip between your teeth to prevent any moans from slipping out. His middle finger slid along your slit several times before he faintly pressed the tip against your clit. You thrusted your ass back against his, earning a low grunt from him.

“I can feel you want this too... you're so wet.” His hot breath tickled your neck.

He suddenly raised his upper body, lifting the blankets with him and deprived you from his warmth as the chill air of the apartment caressed your bare skin. He took his scarf off and you watched him go down, leaving wet kisses on your lower abdomen as he rucked your shirt up to reveal your unclothed breast. He pulled down your shorts and helped you take them off. He went back up, kneading the soft skin of your thighs and kissing it. You closed your eyes when he reached your heat.

“Fuck, you're soaked.” You smiled and waited for him to lick you already to release some pressure.“I would do anything to eat you out whenever I can...”, you opened your eyes in confusion, looking down as he brought his face in front of yours. “but right now it won't be possible.” He went on and sniffed.

“It's okay, I don't want you to die from suffocation.” You chuckled and stroked his cheek. Suddenly you weren't sure about carrying on. His arms were slightly shaking from supporting his body on top of yours and he mouth parted to breath because of his stuffed nose.

And again, he seemed to see your inner conflict. He dropped on his elbows and pressed harshly his erected shaft against your dripping slit earning a high-pitch groan from you. You saw him smirk, content with himself, managing to bring your need to release above your rational thoughts. He started to grind his hips with vigor and you felt your edge surprisingly close as he never failed to stimulate your clit through each thrust. You clenched as your raked your nails across the fabric of his shirt not wanting him to stop his ministrations.

“Fuck... I'm so clos- Ah-”, you hooked your legs around his waist, knotting your ankles right above his ass. “Don't stop, it feels so good.”

He grunted against your ear, pearls of sweat appearing on his nape.

“Wait,wait. I don't wanna come in my pants.” He raised his hips a few seconds, catching his breath while you waited patiently for him to calm down.

Just when you felt your climax slowly fading away, he rubbed vigorously your clit and instantly formed back the knot in the pit of your stomach. He breathed heavily and looked down at his hand moving quickly also noticing the little spot of pre cum on the tent stretching his pants that he just prevented from turning into a mess of cum. Your moans grew louder and louder when only a few seconds warded your orgasm off. You arched your back and Taehyung raised his head, focused on keeping moving his hand and not to come right there and then, threatened by the sight of your beautiful features twisted in pleasure.

“Fuck! Right there,right the-”, you whimpered in a strangled voice before freezing, eyes shut and mouth opened, preventing air from reaching your lungs as the knot finally untied, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. The lack of oxygen besides the pleasure that struck you made you feel light headed until you eventually inhaled sharply in a high guttural sound that suddenly made you aware of Taehyung's kisses along your jaw.

“Shit- I've kept myself from coming twice”, he purred in a tremulous voice, “just by watching you. You sound so sexy, babe.” He nibbled your ear. “I can't wait to feel you clenching around me.” He ran his fingers along your slit, spreading your cum. You thighs shook when his fingertips brushed your clit. “You're dripping.”

“Fuck,” you opened your eyes and gazed, dazed, at the ceiling as you ran your fingers through his locks and slowly recovered from your high. You smiled at his words and sneaked your hand down to grab him.

“Shit, don't-” He raised his head and shut his eyes with his mouth agape.

“What are you waiting for, just get rid of these already.” You mewled watching him struggling against your sudden move. You lowered his pants as he reached with a shaking hand for his throbbing and swollen cock to take it out. He positioned the tip in front of your entrance and gradually pushed himself inside, quickly propping himself back on his elbow not too fall on you.

He groaned and you felt him shudder under your palm as he finally buried himself entirely. He slowly thrusted back keeping the tip inside and roughly slammed back in, doing this motion for a while as his nails clawed your flesh.

“Do you want me to ride you?”

He looked at you with a frown and suddenly grabbed the couch arm above your head. He shook his head and rested his forehead against yours.

“I won't last long.” He hissed and bit his lower lip when you clenched as hard as you could to help him. “Don't do that. I want to make you come again.”

“Tae, you're weak. It's okay. Don't hold yourself any longer.”

He felt like exploding when hearing your words and clenched even harder your ass cheek. He thrusts were sloppier and his grunts turned into broken high-pitch moans. You gripped his hips to stop him and thrusted yours upward, clenching and unclenching.

“Fuck,fuck,fuck. I'm gonna come. Ah-” You kept moving, helping him ride out his orgasm as you felt him twitch inside, hot loads of cum hitting your inner walls, “Shit-”

When you lied your hips back on the couch, he pushed himself in one last time, staying buried deep inside and opened his tired eyes to meet yours. You looked at his flushed face and brushed to the side his bangs soaked in sweat.

“You're shaking.” You whispered, your panting breaths melting in one hot air. He tried to hold your gaze but felt too exhausted and slowly lied his head against your heaving chest.

Masterlist

[huntertales]

Part Three: When You're Older, You'll Understand. (Episode Mashup 6.13/6.14)

Episode Summary: When the reader falls sick with the flu, Bobby offers to look after her until she recovers, leaving the Winchester brothers to work a case together without her in five years. While she recuperates, the reader spends some quality time with Bobby as the boys find themselves having to face a problem from their past. Sam starts to remember his time being soulless during a case and a familiar face unexpectedly comes back in Dean’s life. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader  Word Count: 5,719.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

The question was meant for the younger Winchester, but for the first time in the past three days, you could answer that you were on the track of getting there. You were sitting up right on the couch with your legs crossed and laptop propped open. In one hand you had a still steaming hot cup of tea to soothe your still aching sore throat and a cell phone in the other. Your fever had reduced late last night when you woke up for the first time after sleeping for seven solid straight hours. One of the good things about being sick was that you were getting more rest than you had since you started hunting. Downside, the past seventy-two hours were a blur. It came with the high fever you had been battling and the cough medicine you had been taking.

The older Winchester updated you on how things were proceeding while you were gone. He had good news, and bad news. You decided to be lead with the good news first. The good news was that the case the boys had taken by an anonymous tip was solved. And they found out who lead them there. That’s when the bad news came in. The entire set up was a trap for Sam. It seemed that you and him had worked a case back in the day while he was soulless and you were still hunting without Dean. But that wasn’t the worst of it. While Sam insisted on working the case to fix what he didn’t while soulless, he got a taste of the past that you had tried to prevent.

Sam’s good deed lead him with terrible consequences. He took a trip down memory lane filled with flashbacks of his time when he was soulless. The more he worked on the case, the more he started to remember. What was the most worrisome part of it all was right before they were about to leave, Sam blacked out for a few minutes before coming back around. In the true Winchester fashion, Sam said that he felt perfectly fine. All though he admitted much as to being exhausted—the equivalent of being hit by a planet. But he thought he was healthy enough to go on hunting like nothing was wrong. You and Dean were a bit more skeptical.

“I said, I’m fine.” Sam lied for the third time since being asked the question about his well being. You rolled your eyes in annoyance from how stubborn he could be. You brought the cup to your lips and take a drink. Not liking he attention on himself, Sam decided to change the conversation back to you. “What about you? I called you last night. But you sounded pretty out of it.”

“You did? Oh, you did.” You mumbled underneath your breath. You moved the phone away from your ear to check the list of recents calls you had gotten. And there was Sam’s name. He called you last night around seven. “Huh. And yeah, I guess I was. Fever and cough medicine sure as hell make a weird combo.”

"So, I'm guessing you don't remember the conversation we had last night?" Sam asked.  

You furrowed your brow from his question. You honestly didn’t remember the conversation you supposedly had with Sam last night. Everything was a blur. The hunt that you took with him while he was still soulless was a bit of a better one in your memory. It was a few months into hunting with the Campbells and Dean was a distant memory you were trying to hide from yourself. You and Sam were finally comfortable in the messy, unhealthy friends with benefits set up you made. The younger Winchester still got plenty around with the ladies. But when you wanted a little fun with him, no matter the time or the place, he was at your beck and call.

You could feel your cheeks beginning to burn as your stomach suddenly felt nauseated. Maybe it was because of the mucus dripping somewhere other than your nose. Maybe it was due to the terrifying thought that you let something slip when you were out of your mind. You knew you became an open book when you got a little too drunk. Having a fever and the strong medicine that you were taking made you feel like the entire time you were awake was like one long trip you didn’t know was a dream or reality. You decided to proceed with caution.

“No, I don’t.” You admitted. “Did I say anything stupid?”

"I don't know. Most of the things that came out of your mouth were mostly gibberish. I only called to see of you could help.” Sam said. You found yourself letting out a sigh of relief from what you heard. All though it posed the question if he was really telling the truth, or if he was being polite. If you had blurted out the truth, Sam didn't seem to let the silence linger into awkward territories. "How are you feeling today? You sound better."

"Wish I could say that I was. My fever is down, thank God. It's been driving me insane. I mean, the dreams I’ve been having over the past few days…” You said. You trailed off for a moment to take another sip of your drink, the warmth soothing your sore throat. Your dreams were filled all sorts of things that almost felt real. Of things that you shuddered at the thought of when your mind replayed them again. Dean asked them what it was about. “It’s nothing serious. They’ll pass. I just don't think I'll be running any marathons for the rest of the week. Since you two barely survived without me, how do you feel about taking another job?"

"Depends." Dean said. "What do you got for us?"

"Your favorite." You said. You moved the cursor over to the article that caught your attention a few minutes right before the boys called you. "Janitor murdered in a college lab last night. Doors were locked. Nobody else got in or out of the building."

“Great.” Sam said, seeming on board with the idea of staying busy. “Where to?”

“Paterson, New Jersey. I’ll send you the link so you can take a look for yourself.” You said. You were about to do just that, but you found yourself starting to chuckle when you began to realize where they were going. “Oh, hey. Maybe you two will get a Snooki sighting.”

You quietly chuckled to yourself about the pop culture phenomenon that had been surrounding the state lately and the group of people who made it famous. Dean got a kick out of it himself when you heard him scoff while they were still on speaker with you. Sam, however, being gone for over a year and a half, still had a lot of catching up to do. "What's a Snooki?"

"That is a good question." You mumbled underneath your breath.

+ + +

The drive from Rhode Island to New Jersey took no time at all. You sent the link to the article to Sam a few minutes after you ended the call. While you continued your hibernation on Bobby's couch in the library, the boys settled themselves into a motel and checked out the crime scene at the college. A simple sweep of the room with the EMF reader blamed a spirit to be at fault for this murder. But that wasn’t the weirdest part of it all. Dean had gotten a phone call from a name he hadn’t seen in what felt like months—Lisa Braden.

The woman he least heard from after he was cursed with a truth spell and she was forced to tell him everything about how she truly felt about him. She wanted her distance from him, and that’s what he gave her. Why she was calling after all this time sent warning flags off in his head as he started to think of the worst possible scenario. Dean had been cautious during their relationship, and the real villain was dead. It was left Dean wondering why—after all this time—she wanted to talk to him.

The woman who told the truth about how hard she tried to understand who he was. How much she tried to do everything to get him to balance both worlds. She was right about stepping away.  Dean thought it was best to ignore her calls. Whatever sort of loneliness she might be having would pass. She would find someone better than him. The both of them would pretend like what happened a year or so go didn’t happen. Sometimes it was better to forget the past then open it up like a wound that healed into a scar. But in order for the past to turn into a scar, you needed to face it head on and resolve the issue.

Dean didn't know how Lisa's life was going without him, he wanted to think that it was flourishing without him in it to screw it up. Lisa was a strong, smart woman. But she couldn't fit into the lifestyle that he lead with. Dean didn't let practically anyone in. And much as he had thought his relationship with you was unhealthy, he would agree...and disagree. He wouldn't admit it to her straight in the face, but he was happier than he had been in a long time. He was happy with Lisa, too. Being with Lisa was like living through a movie. It was fun and exciting, he got to do things that he never could before. But, in the back of his mind, he knew it would eventually end.

And while it did end on a sour note, Dean was content with how things turned out after being hit with that truth spell. It turned out to be a cursing...and a blessing. He finally got the truth out of you about how you really felt about him, and he found out what was wrong with his brother. Things were ever so slightly looking up for him. His life wasn't perfect. His brother was being a stubborn pain in the ass, he had unfinished business that needed solving. He thought his love life from a past relationship wouldn't be one of them. Much as Dean tried to ignore Lisa, after her third attempt at calling him, he bit the bullet and answered the phone.

The voice he heard on the other end when he answered wasn't Lisa's like he suspected. It wasn't even female. Who had been calling him for the past few days was her son, Ben. Dean was a bit taken back at why the kid would be calling him, especially with what he did to the poor kid the last time that he saw him. Ben was persistent on getting Dean back home. Because it seemed his mother had been in a state of depression. She wouldn’t leave her room half the time, she wouldn’t talk to her son about anything. Lisa wasn’t herself lately. Ben thought that Dean could come in and save the day. And much as the older Winchester tried to say no, Sam pushed him to settle his past. They would have to face it eventually.

So, that’s what Dean was doing. He left his little brother to solve the case and headed to Michigan to face a past that he thought would be buried forever, or, at least, for a little bit longer. He spent all day and night driving to the Braden household to see if he could try and knock some sense into the woman. What he didn't understand that why, all of a sudden, she was feeling depressed. Was she missing him? He highly doubted that. She dodged a bullet with him. She was too good for him. Not that she was better than you.

The both of you were perfect in his eyes—smart, beautiful, stubborn and had qualities that he chesheried. You and Lisa were almost the same type of person, but, yet, you were complete polar opposites of one another. And the only real thing that was different from Lisa’s relationship to his with you, he loved you. In Lisa's words, your relationship was messed up, unhealthy, and you were going to do nothing but make him miserable. If that was the case, so be it.

He sustained a lot of rainy and miserable days. At some points it felt like the rain was never going to end, he was going to drown in the sorrows that flooded his mind. But there were times when the raining would stop, sometimes the clouds moved, shining some light. Even if it was only a little bit. And there were days when the rain cleared up and he was blessed with the sun. You were that sun, and when it shined, you made all those rainy days seem like they would never come back. Lisa was like an umbrella. She protected him and sheltered him when the storms were the roughest they had ever been. Lisa did all that she could for him, but when the sun came, she knew it was time to be put away.

Dean knew it was his time to return the favor to Lisa in her time of need. He swallowed down all of his fears and pushed the doorbell several times to the home that he once thought was going to be his forever. He stopped after the fifth time and waited for someone to answer the door. It was a minute until he saw the front door handle twist, revealing a face that wasn’t Ben. It was Lisa, she answered the door with a bright smile on her face and dressed for a night on the town. When she realized who it really was, her smile faded, changing into a look of almost disbelief at who had the audacity to be standing on her front porch after all this time.

“Dean,” She spoke his name like it was poisonous venom. “What are you doing here?”

"Well, you look absolutely fine." Dean said. Lisa furrowed her brow from what he said and began wondering what exactly his motive was for being here. He let out a sigh when he realized what was going on here. Ben sure was a sneaky kid. "We've been Parent Trap'd. Ben sent out a 911.”

“Why would he do that?” Lisa asked.

Dean examined Lisa's black dress and earrings that looked expensive, to how her hair was perfectly styled in an updo that she wasn't spending a night in to watch TV. She was in the middle of getting ready when he interrupted her. "You're going on a date, huh?"

Lisa thought about the question for a moment before it was her turn to sigh, in annoyance from what her son did. She opened up the door wider and invited her unwelcome guest on in. Dean followed his familiar way down the path to the kitchen, gladly taking a cold beer from Lisa before she grabbed a green cardigan to cover up. He took a seat on one of the stools he once sat at with Ben while Lisa cooked them breakfast. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Lisa began to slowly pace around the living room, the same way she did when Ben was nearly on the edge of failing science. It was things that you dealt with as a parent. Now she was nervously pacing because it was her past knocking. And neither one of them wanted to answer it.

“So, who’s the guy?” Dean decided to satisfy his curiosity and attempt to break the silence. Lisa  turned around to face him, wondering if he was going to be a dick about it. She repeated his question with an almost sarcastic tone of voice. Dean raised his brow, wanting to show her that he wanted things to go civil. She decided to answer his question.

“His name’s Matt.” Lisa answered his question. “He’s a doctor.”

"Oh, Dr. Matt." Dean mumbled. He tried not to let his feeling show as he nodded his head slowly before looking down at his beer. His remark wasn't meant to be malicious. But, for some reason, it came off that way. "How respectable."

"How long was it until you and Y/N got back together?" Lisa questioned the man. She wanted it to be a rhetorical question that was said to spite him, but from the look on his face, she knew instantly that the both of you were an item again. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.  "I don't wanna do this with you, Dean. I don't want things to be like this. But it is. I called you six times, Dean."

“And I almost called you back about a hundred.” Dean admitted. Lisa’s lips stretched into a tight smile from hearing his confession. She turned around her spot, her back now to him. “Lis, Ben called me. I dropped everything and ran. If you want to know if I still care—”

“Doesn’t help me.” Lisa said, quickly turning around to face him again.

"You ended things with me. And for good reason. Give me the cold shoulder, tell me I’m a dick. I don’t care. Just don't walk on eggshells around me." Dean said. He knew how she got when she wanted to get something off her chest. All though she let everything out on the phone, there had to be something else from how she was acting. “What do you want from me?”

“I’m not asking for anything.“ Lisa said with a matter-of-fact voice.

“Well, then ask for something,” Dean demanded. “‘cause you’re sure acting like it!”

A tense silence fell between the both of them from how Dean raised his voice. The both of them turned their gaze away from one another when they heard footsteps quietly approaching down the hall. Ben, the culprit who lied just to get them in the same room, wasn't going to stick around for very long. He stopped in his tracks when his mother and Dean caught him.

“Go to your room!”

Ben stopped dead in his tracks when he felt two pairs of eyes on him. His mother gave him a warning look as Dean acted like it was another day, but when he realized he was just a guest, the man gave the kid a smile. Ben didn't say a word. He listened to the command and headed up to his bedroom. Lisa let out a sigh from what her son was trying to do. It was all for the right reasons, but he was still too young to understand there was more to this situation than what she told him.

It had always been just the two of them since he was born. Until that fateful day when Dean knocked on their front door and changed their lives forever. Ben got a taste of having a father figure in his life, Lisa had someone in her life that felt right. The Braden family thought things were perfect, that this feeling would last forever. But nothing good ever does.

Lisa took the empty stool next to Dean's, deciding to finally answer his question with a bit of truth she didn't realize until it was too late. "You know, I can't ask you for something. I know what I want…I wanted it before you knocked on my door. Ever since Y/N left a letter in my mailbox asking me to look out for you, back when all that crazy stuff was happening, I tried not to think much about it. I thought if things were meant to be, it would. When you showed up...I thought it was a sign. I gave it my all. For her. For Ben. And for that year we all were together, I don’t know about you, but it was the happiest time in my life.”

Dean thought that Lisa had admitted all of her buried truth back when he had the cursed spell, but it seemed she was harboring it longer. Time doesn't always heal wounds. Sometimes they make it worse. "When Y/N showed up after all that time, I was upset. I said all those things to you because I was angry. And, I'll be honest, I was jealous. Because she has something I can't, not how you live. My phone rings, someone knocks on my door, tiny chance it's you. I think you want to try again. But I know hell would freeze over before that happens. Big chance, it's Sam or Y/N, calling to tell me you're dead.”

Dean wasn't good with relationships. He never had been. He was more the kind of guy who loved 'em at night and left them in the morning, never to be heard from again. Lisa was one of them who had showed him a weekend he never forgot. It took him to have his head on the chopping block from a demon deal to fetch her name and see if the spark was still there. It also was the same reason why he let his personal feelings for you come up to the surface. Dean had a special connection to you and Lisa. He softly spoke the name of the woman who he had up and left after she gave him everything, Lisa shook her head.

“Don’t apologize, or anything. I know, Dean. I know you love her, she loves you. And I’m sorry for what I said. It was just how I felt at the time. And I’m trying to get better. And I have been. I get to this place where I’m okay...and then you show up at our door. You keep doing that. Every time I think I’m never gonna see you again.” Lisa said. She waited for him to get up and leave, but he sat there, almost like a deer in headlights. “I’m trying to get over you. What are you trying to do? What do you want from us, Dean? Because whatever it is, me and Ben can’t give it.”

Dean, yet again, didn't know what to say. He didn't want to apologize for his feelings for you, but he couldn't say the time that he had with Lisa was a waste. Lisa pushed herself up to her feet and circled around to the kitchen. She opened up a drawer and pulled out an envelope. She outstretched her arm, signaling for Dean to take it. All she said was that she needed this out of her house before she made her way upstairs to finish getting ready. Dean stared at the name written on the front of the envelope, and who’s handwriting it belonged to. He was tempted to read it, but not here. Dean decided to speak to someone else before he left.

Ben was upstairs in his room like Dean suspected, sitting on the edge of his bed playing his video games that consumed most of his life. It was nice to know that some things didn't change. Dean made his way into the room, acting casual for this conversation to go smoothly. He peeked over slightly to see what game Ben was playing.

“Well, that’s ridiculous,” Dean said, trying to start a conversation with him. “Plants could never kill a zombie.”

“You think I’m gonna say I’m sorry?” Ben asked.

“Why would I think that, because you lied to get me here?” Dean wondered. Ben still thought his idea of an emergency was correct. The older Winchester knew the kid was sorely mistaken. “A date’s not an emergency, Ben.”

“It is if it’s the third one.” Ben said. He was just a kid, but he was at the age where he thought he knew everything. “I watch TV, I know what that means.”

Dean let out a sigh from what the poor kid was going through. He really didn't understand what was going on, all he wanted was for things to be the way they were. Dean walked over and sat at the edge of the bed next to him. "Well, your mom's a grownup...she gets to go out."

“Why won’t you come home? Can’t you just say ‘I’m sorry’ and then come back?” Ben asked. He thought that two words were going to fix a situation that was already bad enough as it was. Dean apologized for what he couldn’t do. “Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.” Dean answered.

“So you hate Mom now?” Ben questioned the man, trying to figure out the true motive. Dean looked at the kid with surprise at what he was trying to get at. “So it’s me? Whatever I did, I’m sorry.”

“Listen to me. You didn’t do anything. You understand that?” Dean said. He spoke in a firm tone, wanting to convey the message that everything which was unfolding wasn’t the kid’s fault. He was still a kid. Nothing on TV to explain what was going on. “Look, one day you’ll get this, when you’re older.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m six.” Bean said.

“Okay, fine. It’s like this then. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you should stick around and screw up their life.” Dean said. If the poor kid wanted the truth, so be it. Dean would rather leave here with Lisa and Ben hating his guts than wishing for something that was never going to happen again. “So I can’t be here.”

“You think something will follow you home?” Ben asked, wondering if it was all about their wellbeing. Dean felt his jaw tighten at what the real reason was.

“No. No, I don’t. But I think my job turns me into somebody that can’t sit at your dinner table.” Dean said. “And if I stayed, you’d end up just like me.”

Ben shook his head, “Why do you say it like you’re so bad?”

“Trust me. I’m not someone you wanna aim to be.” Dean said. Ben tried to put his opinion in on the matter, but it wouldn’t change the way things had to be. “I’m sorry, Ben. You see, this was you got a shot at living whatever life you want. You know, pick one. Pick five. Because with me, there’s just the one road.”

“You’re a liar, Dean.” Ben suddenly said. Dean furrowed his brow when the kid became hostile towards him. “You say family’s so important. But what do you call people who care for you, who love you even when you’re a dick?”

“You got me. Family is important. But mine gets hurt all the time. If I stick around, I don’t know what will happen.” Dean said. He tried his hardest to try and explain. “And my family’s a little different from yours. They’re all sorts of messed up.”

“Then why are you leaving? Why are you going back to them if they’re so messed up?” Ben was throwing question after question at Dean before he could answer them. He had every right to be upset, but the kid hit a place where he knew nothing about. “I heard Mom when she was on the phone with you. It's that Y/N woman, isn't it? She said that you two love each other. But if she loves you so much, why does she make your life so miserable? Why couldn’t you just let her stay dead?  Hell, it would be better for everyone if she dropped dead now. For good.”

"Hey! Don't you ever speak about someone like that." Dean found himself snapping at Ben. It was mostly because for how he was talking about you, but he reminded himself that Ben was still a kid. "It's disrespectful."

"Why? It’s the truth. I read 'Pet Sematary.' When Louis brought Church and Gage back from the dead, they weren't the same. They were freaks." Ben said, almost hissing out the last word he said. Dean blinked, wondering how a kid like him could suddenly be so...angry. "Sometimes dead is better. And if Y/N was dead, maybe you could stay.”

"Maybe you're right. If Y/N was still gone...I'd be here. But she's alive. So is my brother. And they need me. Just as much as your mom needs you. Because she loves you. She wants to protect you, she wants you to find someone special. And trust me when I say this," Dean let out a sigh. "When you're older, you’ll understand. You’ll find someone special...and before you know it, you’re head over heels. You’ll do anything for them, and you’ll do just about everything to make sure they're safe. And you keep going back to them because they make you happy."

“We didn’t make you happy?” Ben asked.

“You do. But, I can’t make you happy. Not the way you and your mom deserve.” Dean admitted the awful truth nobody his age should hear. He felt like he was doing more harm than good.  “The two of you deserve a life that I can’t give you. I’m sorry.”

+ + +

Dear Lisa,

You might not know me, but I know you. We have a friend in common, his name is Dean Winchester. (And I realize as I write this out about how creepy this sounds. Let me explain myself.) My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m his girlfriend. Or…by the time you’re reading this, his ex. I know it’s weird. Why would I be leaving you a letter and telling you this information? Because you and I have something else in common. I think you know Dean is a special man. He doesn’t let many people in, especially not women. Both  of us have made an impact on his life for the better. I’ll be honest, when I first heard about you, I was a bit jealous from the way that he spoke about you. But after getting to know you, I realized what was so great about you. You have something that I could never give him. And that’s a happy life.

When he first met Ben, he was instantly taken back to see how much he could he see himself in  your son. You have a great kid, Lisa. He’s sweet, smart and a lot like Dean. And if I have learned anything in life, it’s that family isn’t about blood. It can be with anyone if you let them into your life. I hope you will do that if Dean knocks on your door.

I wish I could tell you more about myself. But I don’t have much time. I’ve known Dean since I was literally born. (And yes, I’m using the terminology right. He’s been at my side since I was a baby. Him and I have been through thick and thin. All though, I know my time’s up. Hopefully it will be your turn to share the rest of your life with him in blissful happiness with Ben. Maybe even have a child together. I don’t know. Just treat him right.

In the next upcoming days the news will be filled with disastrous things that will scare you, but don’t worry. You and your son are going to be okay. Including Dean. I have a few friends that I am going to make some arrangements with so that, worst case scenario, all of you will be happy. And most importantly, safe. I wish I could have met you again in different circumstances, but this will have to do. I wish you the best for you and your son.

Your friend, Y/N Y/L/N.

P.S. Please take good care of Dean.

It was the letter that started all of this. It was the reason why Lisa opened up her front door to him, why you had ran away all that time ago. Because you thought you were doing what was right. And it might have been at the time. Dean was a broken man after he witness you and his brother vanish from his sight. He didn’t know where to turn. You had lead him down a path that you thought was going to end with happily ever after. But then you came back and changed everything. For better, for worse. The truth was a bitter pill to swallow. This was for the best.

Dean was on his way back to New Jersey when he decided to pull his phone out of his jacket pocket. He dialed a number and waited it to ring a few times before they picked up. His lips stretched into a faint smile when he heard your raspy, groggy voice. "Hello?"

“Hey, sweetheart.” Dean greeted you. He looked down at the time to see that it was getting late. It was probably well into the night when he decided to call. “Did I wake you?”

“It’s fine. I was just dozing. I’ve had enough sleep to last me a lifetime. Frankly, it’s boring.” You said. You moved the phone away for a moment so you could get comfortable. When you put the phone back to your ear, you were still silent for a few seconds longer. He felt his heart skip a beat when he heard your voice come out in a soft, sweet tone that he loved. "I miss you, Dean."

“I miss you, too.” Dean said. He forgot for a moment about the conversation with Lisa, and what Ben said about you. All he wanted to do was focus on the sound of your voice. He suddenly ached to be right next to you. "Sam's a lousy hunter. I need my Nancy Drew back. Now, tell me, how’s crashing at Bobby’s been?”

"Kind of fun, actually. Did you know he has a thing for Tori Spelling? It's so…”

Dean didn't say a single world during the conversation with you. He put the phone on speaker and placed it up on the dashboard. The entire way to the New Jersey state line he listened to you ramble on about your time with Bobby, to all the TV you had been watching over the past week. His entire day had been thunderstorms and constant rain, but just like that, from the sound of your voice, he could see the sun peeking through.

[Next Part]

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Marriage Material - Part 20 - Jim Kirk

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Part 19

Summary: in this chapter, well, things.

Warnings: language, lil angsty (?)

A/N: sorry it’s taken so long. this story’s too fuckin long though. sorry about this chapter, too. whoops.

You sat cross-legged atop the biobed in Leonard’s favorite exam room, thankful to see the white walls, the flashing monitors, the many, many bottles of the CMO’s famous salves and balms after so long. Your gratefulness would’ve increased twofold had your sick leave ended but this was the next best thing— at least you were able to leave your damn quarters.

Leonard stepped in front of you, frowning deeply. There was that crease right above his eyebrows— the one that was shallow and barely noticeable when his face was relaxed but much more pronounced when his frowns and scowls twisted his features. From the look of the darkness underlining his eyes to the borderline translucence of his skin, you weren’t sure if you were the one recovering from a nasty flu virus or he was.

“What?” you finally barked, your voice now less stuffy, less nasally and more hoarse, more raspy— you secretly liked it.  

An audible exhale from his nose, he pursed his lips and raised a single eyebrow. “You look good.”

You waved your hand as if flipping your hair over your shoulder, pursing your own lips. “Well, I mean, I won’t say I know— but I do own a mirror.”

He snorted. “Normal color’s back, energy’s up, you’re gettin’ a good amount of sleep.”

You nodded with a grin, raising your eyebrows and reaching forward to poke at his chest with your fingertip. “Tell me I look good again.”

“Take the rest of the day,” he continued, stepping away to pick up his PADD from the counter. “Rest your voice, you can come back and work alpha tomorrow.”  

“What shift are you working?”

“Gamma.”

You frowned. “Are you kidding? You look like you were hit by a bus! Several buses, actually. Maybe a plane, too.”

“I told you to rest your damn voice, kid.” He looked up from his PADD to meet your gaze with a suddenly incredulous expression. “I say you look good and you tell me I look like I was hit by several buses and an airplane? What kind of friendship is this?”

“I was just being honest,” you shrugged. “Although, it could be the manifestation of internalized negative feelings because you, you know, kept me confined to my fucking quarters.”

“For health reasons, not my own amusement.”

“Really? With the way I was reciting lines from The Yellow Wallpaper in my delirium, I would hope someone was amused.”

He smiled before staring at the tablet in his hands once more. “From the sound of it, Jim was.”

You pouted. “Poor guy. I called him John for two days, made him sleep on the couch until I could breathe through my nose again, we haven’t had sex in a week—”

“A week?” he repeated, faux shock and concern in his voice. “Why, sweetheart— you’re practically a virgin again.”

“I know you’re being sarcastic but it really feels like I’ve revirginized.” You sat back against the wall behind you. “I told him I stopped being contagious ages ago but something about my congested ass suffocating on my own mucus really lowered his sex drive.”

“You’re lowerin’ mine just talking about it.”

You shook your head with a laugh, pulling the dark grey sleeves of the thin cotton henley you wore over your hands. “I was being serious about the way you look. Exhausted, run-down.”

“Been working extra to make up for you not bein’ here.” He glanced at you. “S’all made me appreciate how fast you are. Krishna’s—”

“Got a leg and a half in the grave, I know,” you nodded, frowning a little. “I’ll be back tomorrow and you should take a few days, yeah? I’ll handle alpha, beta’s already covered, and I’ll be on-call during gamma. I’ll deal with Krishna, and Sirleaf, and that one with the short curly blonde hair.”

Scoffing as he set his PADD down, he crossed his arms over his chest. He looked at you skeptically. “You can’t just dive right into the deep end on your first day back.”

“More than half of their patients switched to me anyway so it’s not like they’ll be crazy busy— just some crewmates with the flu. The gamma red shirts are behaving again, too! I’ll barely be needed beyond my own shift, being on-call is just precautionary.”

Leonard smiled to himself each time your raspy voice cracked, wiping the upward curve clean before he shook his head. “You’ll overwork yourself into a fuckin’ coma before you listen to me.”

“I should be saying that to you,” you continued to argue, gesturing towards him. “Your skin’s basically transparent, you’ve got bags under your eyes that are practically suitcases, your hair doesn’t even have that usual intentional messiness. Rest, recuperate, another synonym that starts with an ‘r’ for the sake of alliteration. This virus is going around and I can’t lose my CMO to the flu that made me nineteenth century crazy.”

“Relax.”

You gaped at him in outrage. “Don’t tell me to relax! That’s insulting as fu—”

“S’another synonym that starts with ‘r.’”

“Right,” you replied with an apologetic smile. “Rest, recuperate, relax, ruh-ssist me in getting off this biobed,” you laughed, holding your hand out to Leonard as you unfolded your legs.

He took your hand and helped you off the bed. “Ruh-ssist. S’like talkin’ to Scooby Doo himself.”

You redid the drawstring on your wide legged cotton pants, the color matching your henley exactly— getting to waltz around the Enterprise in loungewear was a definite plus of having the flu. “I’m too young to understand what you’re referring to.”

“Ain’t too young to be annoyin’ the shit outta me,” he called out after you as you left the exam room and started down the corridor. “Take your fuckin’ medicine on time and rest your voice!”

“Rest your whole body!” you shouted with cringe at the loud break in your voice.

You didn’t bother smiling disingenuously at the nurses that passed— they knew you too well to fall for your charade anyway. You pulled your sleeves over your hands again and exited the medbay with your eyes on your slipper-adorned feet.

You somehow managed to make it to the turbolift without bumping into anyone, calling for the lift doors to shut before anyone else could slip through.

You almost growled in frustration when someone managed to enter, baring your teeth at the new occupant until you counted the ranking stripes on his command gold sleeve and met his gaze.

He raised a thick eyebrow at you. “Were you going to roar at me for entering the turbolift?”

“I would’ve roared at absolutely anyone else.”

He hummed, peering at you from the corner of his eye as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. “How was your appointment? You healthy yet?”

“I’ll be off leave tomorrow,” he could practically hear the excitement in your voice. “Len just told me to rest my voice and I’m back on alpha, on-call during gamma.”

He half-turned to face you. “Just your voice? What about the… remaining parts of you?”

You shrugged, walking out of the lift backwards once the doors slid open on your deck. You smiled at him a little. “Why do you ask?”

He kept himself a few steps behind you when you spun back around, his eyes tracing your every curve. “Because I care about your health.”

You frowned in consideration, your hand lifted to enter your code on the panel beside the door to your shared quarters. You sighed and your eyes almost fluttered shut completely when his strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist, his chest against your back. Your fingers remained still. “Yeah? Not because you want anything in particular?”

He took one of his arms from you to enter the code, using his other arm to turn you around. He tightened his grip on you and lifted you as if you weighed nothing to him, carrying you into the room as your toes lightly brushed the ground. “Take a breath through your nose.”

“Listen, I don’t know when you went to medical school, Doctor Kirk, but—”

“Breathe through your nose,” he pressed, setting you down and watching as you successfully complied with a roll of your eyes. He frowned in consideration and nodded before reaching behind him to pull down the his uniform’s quarter zip, pulling his uniform and undershirt over his head in one swift movement. “Don’t divorce me.”

“I can’t exactly do that right now anyway,” you answered, tilting your head as he held onto you once more, his hands on your hips. You tried not to sigh at the feeling of his thumbs under the hem of your shirt.

“You said sex more than once a week,” he reminded you, his hands inching your shirt up more and more until you lifted your arms and he practically tore it off of you. He tossed it to the side. “We’re one argument about money away from you serving me with papers.”

“No,” you shook your head. “I wouldn’t serve you with process myself. There are people that do that, I’d hire someone.”

He laughed dryly, narrowing his bright blue eyes. “S’not funny.”

You smiled. “S’a little funny.”

“It’s not.”

“Yes, it is. I’d make ‘em dress up like a pizza delivery person. They’d ring your doorbell and you’d be so excited because ‘Wow, where did this pizza come from? Did someone send me a free pizza?’” you said in a deep, dramatic imitative voice, the rasp only making it deeper. “And they’d say, ‘Captain James Tiberius Kirk, you’ve been served.’ And they’d open the box, and the papers would be there.”

He looked over your features silently for a moment, taking in your playful smile, your scrunched nose, your illuminated eyes. “It’s really not funny.”

You sighed, draping your arms over his shoulders. “You’re telling me you wouldn’t laugh if you opened your door to a bulky forty-eight year old man in a pizzeria uniform, fake mustache glued crookedly? Because that’s definitely the only way I would serve you with process.”

His smile was small. “You know, I love you.”

“I do know that.”

He nodded, placing his fingers under your chin and lifting so you’d crane your neck. He pressed his lips to your skin and breathed in the scent of his body wash on you, his shampoo in your hair. “I love you so much.”

Your eyes shut when he pressed his lips to that special spot under your jaw only he knew about. “I know.”

His hand, large and warm, slid to the back of your neck to hold you in place. “Don’t divorce me.”

“I’m not—”

“I don’t mean right now,” he continued, biting down lightly so you had to hold in a gasp.

Your eyes opened a bit when his words registered. “Jim, —”

“I mean in the future.” His fingers undid the drawstring of your pants. “I want to stay married.”

Your eyes shut again, his sigh against your neck signifying his knowledge of your body’s tensing.

He stood up straight and met your eyes with a frown. “You could look less terrified.”

“Jim, we’ve been dating for a few months. What you’re doing is the equivalent of proposing,” you told him, your fingers fiddling with the hair on the nape of his neck. “It’s too soon for that.”

“There’s no set timeline.”

“I know there isn’t— least of all when you start with marriage but—” You suppressed a sigh when his hand left the back of your neck. “But, Jim, it’s too soon. I only just convinced myself it was okay to tell you I’m in love with you. It just— It doesn’t feel too soon to you?”

He shook his head. There was no uncertainty in his eyes. “S’not too soon, not at all. I’ve been in love with you for a while— this isn’t too soon for me.”

You tilted your head, taking your arms from his shoulders. No part of you was touching any part of him. “How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you been in love with me?”

He shrugged. “Maybe since the day we met—”

You blinked, pausing for a long minute. “Since the day we met? When I transferred onto this ship?”

He nodded. “Maybe—”

“You were in love with me when we got married that night?” you asked, looking from one of his eyes to the other. You felt something in your chest sink in that same contradictory way— full but totally empty— it was different this time, though. It hurt this time. “Were you in love with me when you asked me to stay married to you?”

He just stared at you silently for moments that seemed to stretch on forever until he finally nodded.  

“You didn’t think to mention that?” you asked, wetting your lips repeatedly. There was a soft shaking everywhere. “You didn’t think to tell me any bit of it instead of all that ‘platonic’ stuff you kept throwing back at me?”

“Starli—”

“You didn’t think to tell me there were more considerations than just your career?” you blinked and wiped what fell to your cheeks. Your voice, combined with the rasp already cracking each sentence, broke even more with the unfamiliar feeling spreading from your chest to your fingertips. “You didn’t think to tell me it wasn’t just me doing you a friendly favor? That your intentions were a little different?”

“(Y/N), —”

“You had ample opportunities afterwards. We’ve been married for months,” you almost laughed, shaking your head. You glanced down at the ring wrapped around your finger. “How could you not tell me?”

“We’re not— Communication’s not exactly our strong suit.”

You brought your eyes back to his, glaring through the blurriness. “That’s your excuse? That I don’t communicate enough? That I don’t tell you every time I have a feeling about something?”

He opened his mouth to speak but you shook your head with a scoff. “That’s not equal. None of— This isn’t on me.”

“It’s not,” he conceded, watching as you wiped your cheeks. There was an empty feeling in his chest as well, but it was muted by the fear shaking his every limb. “Please don’t cry, let me explain—”

On stubborn impulse, you gritted your teeth and stated, “I’m not crying. I have the flu, I’m just sick.”

He rolled his eyes. “That’s what I’m talking about. Just admit to feeling something.”

You wanted to stare at him with an incredulous expression but could only find anger in you. You shook your head. “I need to leave.”

“Wh— Starlight, —”

You shook your head again. “I don’t want to talk about this— not with you. Not when you don’t have the courtesy to tell me why the fuck we’re actually married.”

You turned around to hit your hand against the control panel with more force than necessary, working harder than you’d hoped to erase the crestfallen expression on Jim’s face from your every memory. “You know, if I could somehow file for divorce right now, I definitely would.”

PART 21

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