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#this is not a place to live whatsoever
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die anywhere else // DM DOKURO, GameChops (a cover of a song from the Night in the Woods video game soundtrack, originally by Alec Holowka & Scott Benson)
Dust on this tired old street Mark corners where we used to play Dust trace our tired old feet In circles as we pace our time away
I just want to die anywhere else If only I could die anywhere else So come with me, let’s die anywhere else Anywhere Just not here
Stuck on this dead end street Where all the new kids come to play Stuck–where past and future meet Watching all our autumns drift away
I just want to die anywhere else If only I could die anywhere else So come with me, let’s die anywhere else Anywhere Just not here
And if they ever hear my name Will they know I walked alone Around these dusty streets–My Tired old home
And will they ever stop to think What was here before, no They won’t remember that I’m gone
I just want to die anywhere else If only I could die anywhere else So come with me, let’s die anywhere else Anywhere Just not here
Oh no
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fatehbaz · 24 days
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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autogeneity · 4 hours
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somehow I feel so much more visible and observed in the garden of my apartment building than in outright public surrounded by people. like I'd have to be able to explain and justify my presence...in the garden. of the building. in which I live. but I'm allowed to exist in public.
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wewontbesleeping · 1 month
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i think i FINALLY succeeding in finding a solution to keep llewyn out of the bedroom.
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t3/rfs keep finding my post about how tobias forge donates to organizations for trans kids regularly. and they'll go on with their bullshit in my notes and still call themselves ghost fans. get this through your thick skull: trans men are men. trans women are women. anybody who identifies as something else is whatever they say they are, and there's nothing you or anybody else can do about it. tobias knows and respects this. if you can't do the same then don't claim to be a fan.
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termagax · 3 months
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"what if my fish was there" im gonab be so honest i dont think they know who any of those people are
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bosquedemel · 11 months
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when people say they're discussing a book with their parents or that they've seen a concert with a parent or something i'm just like "oh your parents know those things...." there's just a big gap between people like me and people who have those kinds of parents....
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rabitzzz · 1 year
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avoiding talking to my fp about feelings by ignoring them again peace and love on planet earth
#vent post#sorry i just#' let me be selfish this once ' i . always try#i dont know how to convince her that im not leaving#anytime i express happiness that fp2 talked to me ( which ties into a fear that i have about fps not speaking to me for days at a time )#( thanks jay )#he gets upset and immediately thinks ive just . replaced her as someone special in my life#when honestly at this point i dont think i could ever live without him ? really ??#i dont know what i can do to finally make her realize that no matter what im literally still always talking to him at the end of the day#even when we fight even if someone else had my attention even when i have a partner thats not him#i dont know what to do and its scary and people are so terrifying i dont want her upset over me time and time again#he really needs to find a new fp or just try not to care about me so much because 1 ) im not something that should be cared about in the -#- first place and 2 ) i clearly just keep directly upsetting her over and over so im not good for him whatsoever#even if im not doing it on purpose he splits directly because of me and when i split at her its because ive let things stack up without -#- handling them for too long so its more like misdirected rage because im such a high strung person#i dunno man im just#one of my fps hardly talks to me and the other is too attached to me im stuck in a hell of my own creation#might call the crisis line again its such a time#man i so totally really love december nothing bad EVER happens in december !!!!
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brightbluekicks · 6 months
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for a while ive sort of longed to be one of those girls thats gorgeous in a very messy way but upon realizing that i am actually that, my perspective on it has changed. i did try to embody it for years, but it turns out that you dont actually get that effortlessly, artistically frazzled look unless you live an actual frazzled life. and i like my frazzled busy life!
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onlyjaeyun · 1 year
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siblings are such a bother girl why do you keep feeling the urge to argue with me at your fossil age of 32 like get a fucking life 💀
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arthur-r · 9 months
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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.
#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month#in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom#if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all#anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight#within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person#so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave#i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place#like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost#and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with#i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course#that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and#i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me#and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change#i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal#and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it#my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything#and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again#and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in#(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here#and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you#think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved#because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night
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cafeinnewdelsta · 10 months
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Me, remembering today that I have many thoughts about the way Hikari and Temenos' stories end in the final chapter of Octopath Traveler 2 and how it impacts my feelings with the way the game ended
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proteuus · 1 year
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sad! oh well there are other computer science boys
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ectoplasmer · 1 year
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Today in sociology we did an assignment where we had to read through statistics about marriage, reasons why people get married, divorce rates, views on how certain couples influence children, etc. and then we had questions at the end that had more to do with how *we* felt about marriage and what we thought about the other things brought up in the article and when I tell you it lowkey physically hurt to write out how I didn’t really care for marriage. good god
#it’s like i DO care for it but the people who i want to marry aren’t real so like ???#i think of me having a traditional wedding with anyone else and physically retch i’m sorry#there was a straight week where i couldn’t stop thinking about getting married to my f/os or how we would set that up considering#body sharing or whatever#y’all are lucky my brain was so rotted that i never posted anything about it#btw. expensive. very expensive#marriage in general is just… woof. even elopement costs money?? did not know that#anyway uhhhhh yeah that was. an assignment. definitely#had to write it multiple times and each time it was a stab at my heart u_u#but like i want to reinstate the fact that i did not care whatsoever for marriage before my current f/os#i looked at it and just saw it as more of a hassle than anything#but now it’s just. somehow different#i’m really not good at articulating my thoughts or how exactly i feel over it but#i dunno. i care more about the idea now than i did with past f/os#current f/os are different etc etc but i love them and maybe sometimes i do think about getting married to them#putting that on hold right now of course because i have a lot of things to worry about before then but#it’s just… getting to build a home with them i guess?? a safe place for all of us??#obviously their lives have been much harder than mine and i want to support and be there for them#and i want them there for me too. i guess that is what changed my views towards marriage#but only specifically for them apparently lol#i dunno. i’m just happy i feel this way over them :)#quartzshipping
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crystalkleure · 2 years
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It looks like the refrigerator just fucking exploded or something apparently
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flowers-of-io · 2 years
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Was sad but then saw one of my favourite fics had been updated & read it, now I'm sad (with extra steps)
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