#this is not a serious theory whatsoever it's just having fun really

[realhotgirlshitah]

Interview with Jack and Liv

Jack Champion x black! fem oc

(warning: attempt of humour and fluff)

In which these two idiots can't even answer one question seriously in an interview.

"Ready Champion?"

"Whenever you are Thompson,"

"Right, let's get started,"

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

"Mind control would easily be my first choice," I immediately answered.

" You answered that a little too quickly, Liv, pretty scary if you ask me,"

"Lemme guess, your choice would be the ability to fly?"

A long pause.

"No it wouldn't," he glared at me, obviously mad that I'd figured it out immediately.

"Don't even try lying Jack, it's old and borderline basic, just like you,"

"Okay first of all rude, second of all, I wouldn't choose that first I'd actually choose-

"Super strength?" I cocked an eyebrow at him in amusement.

Another long pause.

"Next question please,"

What were your first impressions of each other?

"I thought she was really intimidating to be honest," Jack admitted.

"You're joking," I laughed.

"No, I remember we were working on the movie and for the first two weeks, you were really serious, like I never saw you smiling,"

"I was in the middle of preparing for my exams back home!"

"I didn't know it at the time! I genuinely believed you didn't like me at all,"

"Looks like I'm not the only over thinker here," i grinned.

"Leave me alone,"

"Well at first I thought that J was really arrogant, loud, boisterous, immature and annoying,"

Pause.

"But?"

"There isn't a but, that's it. My feelings have not changed in any way whatsoever,"

"Oh fuck off,"

What's Olivia's best quality and feature?

"Well along with being crazy smart, Liv's hands down the most hilarious person I've ever met, I'm never not laughing when she's around, as for her best feature, she has really nice eyes,"

"That's a bit of a basic one," I complained.

"But it's true, you have really nice eyes, they're super dark and mysterious with an alluring aura radiating off of them,"

"Did you read that in a book and decided to finally use it in an interview to sound smart?"

"Ding ding ding, you caught me," he put his hands up in defeat before giving me a cheeky smile, I meant what I said though,"

"Of course you did Champion," I deadpanned with an eye roll.

What's Jack's best quality and feature?

"He can be quite thoughtful, a year ago, we were drinking a salted caramel iced coffee which I mentioned ONCE that I loved and for my birthday two months ago, he got me five boxes full of the syrup they used,"

"Oh that was fun,"

"In regards to best features, I'd say your lips, they're quite nice,"

He smirked smugly and tilted his head to the side before responding.

"You know, they're not just aethestically pleasing, there's a lot of girls who rave about how good of a kisser I am,"

"If you carry on talking, I will kick you in the balls so hard you'll want to die,"

What's your favourite thing to do together?

Me and Jack looked at each other trying to think of an answer.

"We haven't really got a specific activity that we do consistently together, do we?" he asked.

"No, we don't, but my favourite thing to do with you is listen in on your French work when getting ready for an exam or something, your pronunciation is atrocious, Jack"

"It's not that bad! I'm an A plus student!" He replied indignantly.

"That's because to pass languages all you have to do is not be complete dog shit and just wing an answer, I can guarantee if you came over to the UK and took A Level French, you’d despise it,"

"My favourite thing to watch you do is study for a theory test for your licence, you suck at it and you suck at driving too,"

"How would you know?"

"I've seen the look on your instructor's face after a lesson, Olivia, I hope you pay for his therapy afterwards,"

"Oh suck it sideways,"

What is the most annoying thing about Olivia?

"Ooo this'll be a fun one," Jack rubbed his hands together in anticipation before letting out an almighty yell when I thumped him in the arm. "I haven't even said anything yet!"

"The look on your face said it all,"

"Apart from her tendency to go straight to violence, her ability to speak five different languages is excruciatingly annoying, I can't do my French work around her at all,"

"There's no switching to German, Mandarin, Spanish or Japanese either," I winked at the camera.

What's the most annoying thing about Jack?

"Where do I even start?"

"Hey! Keep it short and mean," he crossed his arms at me in annoyance.

"It's always girls following him everywhere we go, I dragged him to go shopping with me just last week so he could carry my bags and as soon as we arrived, a group of girls just materialised out of nowhere???"

"What can I say? I have a very magnetic aura that people tend to gravitate to,"

"You are a literal joke,"

What's Jack's type?

"Me," I mouthed to the camera earning a very dirty look from Jack. "What? Fucking hell tough crowd,"

"You're a nightmare, Thompson, answer the question properly,"

"Jack likes girls that are funny, intelligent, match his sarcasm, loyal and sweet,"

"You didn't quite make that cut at that last part did you, Liv?"

"Ah so you admit that I'm funny, intelligent and loyal," I grinned at him devilishly

"Next question please!"

What's Olivia's type?"

"Oh gosh," I covered my face in embarrassment.

"Intelligent, Liv loves smart guys,"

"Who doesn't love a good nerd?"

"Funny, matches her energy, loyal, charming, sharp, good hair, a good listener, and kind,"

"Very specific, Jackson,"

Well all I had to do was describe mysel- WAIT LIV, COME BACK,"

Olivia's celebrity crush?

"Do you want just one, or do you want me to list the 50 she comes up with every day?"

"You're such a bum,"

"Well apart from me, Pedro Pascal, President Fitzgerald Grant the third, Megan Thee Stalliom, Kehlani, Daniel Kaluuya-

"Okay Jack-

"Ooooo Letitia Wright-

"THAT'S ENOUGH JACK, FUCKING HELL,"

Jack’s celebrity crush?

"Me, I'm his celebrity crush,"

"Yes Olivia, I'm hopelessly in love with you,"

"There's also SZA, Angela Basset, Margot Robbie, Bella Hadid, Serena Williams, Lizzo, Naomi Campbell- she was his first one, Beyoncé-

"Okay I think that's enough," Jack scratched the back of his neck bashfully.

"Ooo Coco Jones, also Megan Thee Stallion, Duckie Thot, Marsai Martin, Anok Yai, Ice Spice, Madelyn Cline-

"OLIVIA!"

"What? TRUST I was gonna get my lick back,"

What’s your party trick?

“Well apart from showing off my gorgeous muscles, I’m a pretty good dancer,” Jack smirked.

“Show them your moves mama,” I mirrored his smile knowing exactly what was coming.

The entire studio watched in amusement as Jack got up from his chair and started to do the dougie. Was it predictable? Maybe. Was he fucking that shit up? Oh absolutely.

“Ouuuuu go on, don’t hurt em now white boy,”

“Liv also taught me how to throw it around in a circle but we’ll save that for next time,” the brunette panted while getting back into his chair.

“You know you not that bitch or nothing but you still ate that lil one thing,” I quoted with a grin.

“I know that’s right!”

“Y’all will never guess who taught him that,”

“This gal!” Jack pointed at me enthusiastically.

“You’re so corny,” I laughed adoringly at him.

Olivia what’s your party trick?

“Knowing every Megan thee Stallion song bar for bar, word for word, the woman does no wrong in my eyes,”

“Can confirm, we put it to the test while filming, it’s very impressive,” Jack nodded.

“I can also take my box braids down REALLY quickly when I’m focused,”

“The problem is she struggles to focus when undoing her hair, so I help her take it out,”

“You like taking it out and detangling it though,” I pointed out.

“Very true, I think it’s incredibly therapeutic,”

If you could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?

"Hmmm, that's a tough one," I said, tapping my chin. "I think I'd switch lives with Jeff Bezos and donate a bunch of his money to charity,"

"Wow, you're such a saint," Jack said sarcastically. "I think I'd switch lives with Elon Musk and take his Tesla for a joyride,"

"You do realize that's technically stealing, right?"

"Yours is technically embezzlement," he shrugged.

I shook my head. “That’s not fair, I’m giving it to people who need it more!”

“Tell that to the judge, Thompson,”

You're impossible,"

"That's why you love me," he replied with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of my lips. Despite his borderline obnoxious personality, I couldn't deny that Jack was one of my closest friends and I enjoyed his company more often than not.

“Is there one last thing you guys would like to say before we cut?”

“Olivia Tinashe Thompson is the best person I’ve ever met and worked with, I really hit the jackpot when this one decided to become my friend and I honestly hope this isn’t our last time working together, even if I can be a pain,”

I was taken aback by his earnest confession and glanced at him to find out he was already staring at me with what one could only call adoration and love.

“You really have a way with words don’t you?” I smiled softly.

“What can I say? You bring it out in me,”

Finally the interview was over and we said our goodbyes to the crew and staff before making our way out to exit the building.

“When we get home, could you help me take these braids out? I have a hair appointment tomorrow,” I smiled sweetly at him as he held the door open for me.

“I’ll do you one better and wash you hair for you when we’re done,”

“Are you just saying that to get in the shower with me?” I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously.

“My girlfriend knows me so well,” Jack grinned at me before wrapping his arm around my waist as we left the building. I couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected friendship (and poorly kept secret of a relationship) that had blossomed between me and Jack. Maybe we were both idiots, but at least we were idiots together.

My first one shot, pls be nice y’all i promise i’ll get better lol.

[weaselbeaselpants]

How and why Lily is a bad fan and an even worse critic

I want to get this rant thing over and done with as it's not about Lily Orchard being an actual depolorable person, just more rants about her bad takes and bad criticisms;

In case you didn't know, Poppy and Zena of TransGirlTherapy have interviewed Lily's sibling Courtney and a few other victims; I saw someone in their chat for the stream of it try and post about Lily's infamous writing tips and I just really REALLY want to put a big divider up right now between mine and other people's comparatively lowstakes beef w her and these very serious allegations. I'd be horrified by them even if they were of a creator I loved; these are not funny and ranting ontop of Lily's rants should be a few steps down from the really important stuff that needs to be addressed w her. So with all that being said:

I think her outdated "SU is Garbage and here’s Why" video is a great encapsulation of everything wrong with Lily Orchard’s critical theory, attitude, and brand. 

The whole video lacks a real thesis statement for an essaybreakdown. It feels really just like a woman having a giant fan rant at a show she used to like but now doesn’t-- because, that is what it is. BUT, that isn’t easy to listen to. Lefttuber or not, other essayist/watchalongs/media analysis-channels who talk about a thing for five hours will at least try and make their feelings actually collected. Hbomberguy’s Sherlock vid, YMS’s Kimbaspiracy debacle, Lindsay Ellis’ Hobbit three parter; all these vids are glorified fan rants extended to hours long and flowered with essay reasoning and research. They work because they're self-aware that they're taking the thing they are looking at too seriously but are committing anyway and preferably having some kind of fun or skill doing so, which is why I love to watch these kinds of videos. Lily Orchard’s thoughts all feel way too sporadic and focused on being spicy rather than coming together, and that hurts her point because it makes even her most serious call out against SU feel petty. 

She gets stuff wrong. Concrete was designed by black artist Lamar Abrams, not Rebecca Sugar who is white. Ftr I’m not pointing that out as some kind of “got you/can’t complain/Sugar never did anything wrong”-clap back; It’s just a fact. AND a missed oppertunity on Lily's part bcuz she could have pointed out how, even if Concrete wasn’t designed by Sugar, it was her in control of the artbook+ Rebecca’s drawn questionable depictions of black people before w she herself is not black and doesn’t get a ‘my friend is-’ clearance just because, and finally just the fact that +the white SU fandom dismissing this problem because they don’t want to be critical about their show.

That Lily doesn’t go into this counter-counter argument whatsoever tells me Lily’s true intentions: and that’s not to point out potential racism in the show, but to dunk on Sugar even more. Lily’s entire point about Concrete, as well as her handling of the poorly handled subjects in the show like the Human Zoo, which other critics, fans and critical fans have done a much better job at breaking down, all of it feels less like a beatdown of how problematic something is but her trying to spin Sugar into the worst fucking person because she wants to hate her. Nowhere is that more clear than in her now infamous ending shade abt Sugar being a fascist.

No, Lily did not literally call Sugar an actual Nazi. Her exact words on screen were a joking “do I think she is one, nah; would I think she is one w/o context? Yeah”.

In an alt timeline I wouldn’t think anything of this take. I get that Lily was trying to hyperbolic and relishing in her self aware pettiness -kinda like how Hbomber is with his over-the-top hatred of Steven Moffat- The issue is we don’t live in an alt timeline. Lily didn’t see how people were taking her too seriously and/or acting like Sugar was a nezi on her behalf +care that her edgy joke at the end of her rant could do some real damage, or even care that it just didn’t look good on her. She didn’t reupload the vid with a disclaimer tacked on, she didn’t tack on a pinned comment; she didn't write down a longer video disc to explain herself.

Instead she threw everyone who might have gotten perturbed by this comment under the bus, said it was all our own faults, and made it very clear she was not going to apologize for it.

Do u dislike ppl treating Sugar like she’s a Nazi and want to discourage that behavior, even in small ways? Fuck you. You’re a stan cuz Lily said so.

Are you Jewish and maybe think implying those exact words are uncalled for? Eat shit! Lily knows better than you and can talk about your life and issues better than you can because other gentiles who aren’t her have failed to do so….which means she’s actually speaking truth????

Lily Orchard could never eat a slice of humble pie and admit that she made a mistake because the only people who’ve ever criticized her and gotten real attention for it are part of the problem (i.e. 4chan, ED). Vaush type commentary bros who keep fucking misgendering her and taking more issue w her leftism that her authoritarianism.

'If obviously she has nothing to apologize for and she is totally over the accusations or her making accusations…which is why she keeps alluding to SU being fascist as a “joke”. The 'joke is on Sugar and all the people who could possibly be offended by Lily’s coining of what’s fascist so…it’s not really a self aware joke at all. She’s still going “harr harr, it’s YOUR fault that you read my comment that way and also who cares it’s not serious. RSugar is tumblr famous which means she’s a millionaire and can’t face harassment.” Tl;dr : Lily got flaq for going too far with a point and rather than just apologizing like a grown up, doubled down.

The reason Natalie (who doesn’t even cover media why is Lily so invested in Contrapoints???wv) and Lindsay will always be better yts than Lily is because they at least try to take some ownership of what they say. Does that always excuse them? No. Are they maybe still a little too apologetic of those on their side? Maybe. But all that is leagues above what Lily doesn't even attempt to do.

Fandoms, people, creators, ships and characters are punching bags to Lily Orchard. She can’t just dislike Rebecca Sugar because for the valid reasons ppl have w Sugar, which there are a LOT of- Lily has to make Sugar, and anyone who doesn’t find her joke at Sugar’s expense, into the worst possible thing. 

Lily can not make a joke or a real criticism to save her life. She is only venom and she has to double down on her points until they have no meaning. Lily Orchard’s activism and analysis aren’t about the things she says she’s fighting against; they’re about her and how everyone who dislikes her is the same kind of awful person and deserving of scorn for disagreeing with her. Lily’s the kind of person who abuses selfcare that good people get from watching Monica Lewinski’s Tedtalk, and basically came out the other end with an “I’m right and shouldn’t apologize for anything EVER”.

[pandorem]

I actually really appreciate how, even though we never actually hear any, we are reliably informed that most of the statements in the archives are absolute bullshit? That as of the season one finale, Jon’s recorded HUNDREDS of statements, most of which recorded perfectly fine on the computer, and it’s only the ones we’ve heard so far (38 or so, not counting the last two episodes of season 1, which weren’t pre written statements) that had any truth to them whatsoever.

I’m a huge fan of genre fiction, and I adore fantasy or supernatural stories set in the modern day, but like… as fiction. And I always feel a little weird when a story set in something resembling our world but with hidden supernatural elements that the general populace don’t know about treat the characters who are genuinely skeptics as stubborn idiots. It makes sense in certain contexts, when that character is confronted with mysterious things, but there are plenty of weird things in real life that have entirely reasonable explanations when you take a moment to look into it.

And while I might not personally believe in tarot readings or astrology or ghost hunting, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with believing in those things or even having a job in those things. But. When you start going further down the road, you start getting really awful people who are straight up con artists taking advantage of grieving and vulnerable people by pretending to be psychics or faith healers or whatever. And even if you believe that such people COULD exist, so many of them have been proven to be scum of the earth con artists that I think giving any the benefit of the doubt is irresponsible and potentially dangerous. And some supernatural fiction treat psychic characters who involve themselves in investigations etc the exact same as they do ghost hunters, and their skeptic characters exactly the same amount of stupid or closed minded for not believing in them as they do for not believing in the very real supernatural happenings of that world.

And before I had adblocks on and before I turned off ad tracking, sometimes after getting into a supernatural or genre piece of fiction, I would start getting ads for people like that, which it kind of worrying.

It’s kind of like conspiracy theories. The more you look into some of them, the more you realize how much of the ideology is entirely set up on some fucked up, discriminatory, and dangerous world views, which makes fiction about them a lot less fun. Supernatural fiction isn’t nearly as fraught on that front, but it can get to that point, and it makes it kind of a relief when a story goes “yeah there’s real stuff going on but there’s also a lot of bullshit”.

This maybe got more serious than I intended, but it’s something that’s been bothering me about my love of these kinds of stories for a long time, and I like that Tma just… doesn’t fall into those pitfalls for me.

[crying-over-spilled-feels]

Catch Me If You Can

Disclaimer: I do not own the canon characters. They belong to Tatsuya Endo, Wit Studio, and CloverWorks. This drabble is just for fun and no monetary gain whatsoever. Also, I want it to be known I watch the Japanese sub of this anime.

 -----------------

           An autumnal air swirls through the park, sending a flurry of red, orange, and yellow leaves in its wake. From his position on a park bench, Loid Forger watches with a wide smile on his lips as Anya and Bond race through the grass, attempting to catch leaves in the process. The giant Pyrenees follows behind Anya dutifully, pulling the young telepath upright by the hood of her jacket any time she attempts to take a tumble.

“Miss Anya certainly looks happy,” Yor comments beside her husband, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “You had an excellent idea to bring them to the park today, Loid,” she smiles over at the man whom she had married originally to throw suspicion off of herself but whom she has grown to genuinely love over the past year.

“Thank you, Yor,” Loid smiles back, wrapping one arm around his wife’s shoulders, an action which still makes the spy’s spine tingle every time. “I really am enjoying all this extra time we’re getting to spend together as a family,” he admits, the wind tousling his blonde hair slightly.

Operation Strix had been a success, and with it, Loid learned how deeply connected he had become to Yor and Anya. The three of them sat and had a very serious discussion following the completion of the operation, and the trio of governmental secrets decided this family would be a permanent one filed with love, adventure, vacations, high-stakes missions, and the occasional domestic scene.

“Mama! Papa!” Anya suddenly shouts, a devious smile on her lips. “Catch me if you can!” she giggles, sprinting as fast as she can through the falling leaves, Bond following hot on her heels.

“You better prepare yourself, Miss Anya!” Yor playfully shouts.

“You’re going to need every second of that head start!” Loid reminds.

The spy and assassin rise to their feet, holding hands as they race after their daughter, all three of them laughing and smiling.

 ------------------------

Author’s Note: What can I say? I adore Spy x Family, so I naturally had to write a drabble for it. This drabble is based on the scene in the second intro where Yor is chasing Anya through the field with the autumnal wind blowing around them. It is around the 55 second mark of the intro. My fiancé and I have been watching the show weekly since its release in Fall 2021, back when we were still just dating since we got engaged in May of 2022. We love to watch it together and always have theories as to what may happen next! I also read the manga, but I have a weird system for doing so. For everything else that is adapted to TV or movies, I read the novel first, but for manga I watch the anime first and then read the manga. (I guess I need help visualizing everything?) Anyway, expect lots more Spy x Family content from me. Reviews, kudos, or likes are always appreciated. Until next time, dear readers! Have a wonderful day, afternoon, or evening!

[thelastspeecher]

my roommate and I are rewatching the Weirdmageddons to celebrate the anniversary of the Gravity Falls finale, and in the scene in the penthouse suite, where Bill tries to get Ford to talk and Ford just blurts out everything, I realized something.

Ford’s supposed to be this savvy, hardened interdimensional criminal at this point.  he would know better than to just be like “oh yeah I know exactly why you can’t get out, I studied it, I know how to remove it, I even named it”.  like, that’s Not Being a Dumbass 101.  play dumb.  don’t blurt it out.  so why exactly did Ford spill the beans promptly by thinking about loud?

new theory: Bill gives off an aura that makes the Pines family act like dumbasses.  it’s what made Ford think out loud, what made Ford and Stan fight under VERY bad circumstances, what made Mabel so sure she could stay in the bubble, and what made Dipper decide to make a deal with him in “Sock Opera”

that’s Bill’s true power

making the members of the Pines family turn into complete dumbasses.

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 10

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader.

GIF: I do not own this GIF.

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

I do not own any pictures, name, brand, song titles or anything that I used in this story.

All chapters

The three of you are finally back at the hotel. As soon as you got there, you went to your room to get ready. So is Lizzie in hers. When you are ready, you go right away to the girls’ room. You knocked on the door, and for some reason you slightly wish that Lizzie’s face would slowly show up as the door is opening but like usual it was Aubrey’s smile the first thing you see. “Hey.” Aubrey moves to the side as she opens the door wider for you to come in. “Hey Aubrey.” You unconsciously smiled in slight disappointment.

You do not mind at all that it's always Aubrey who opens the door for you. She is your good friend, really. You just start to think why is it always Aubrey? Is it just a coincidence or not really? Does she hate you so much that she is avoiding you at all cost? Oh well, why does it matter anyway? Why did you wish it was Lizzie who opens the door for you just now? There’s nothing special to it. The hatred is mutual. You were probably just concerned about her anyway after seeing her cry, you think it’s just a normal nice gesture if you are wondering how she was doing.  but again it’s none of your business. Your mind juggling all of those thoughts in such a short time triggers a quick rush in your mind.

Your eyes secretly look for Lizzie. You try to do it in the most subtle way so Aubrey won’t notice while both of you walk to the living room and sit down on the couch. “She is inside, still getting ready, Y/n.” Aubrey told you as if she can read your mind. “Huh?” Surprised with her statement just now, you got caught off guard and that was all you can say. You curse yourself in your mind for being too obvious.

“I know those eyes,y/n. You can’t lie to me. Your eyes’ movement. You were searching for her.” Aubrey teased with a knowing smile. “No, I wasn’t!” You denied instantly. “Yes you were, Y/n.” She convinced you in a playful tone. “No,I wasn’t!” You shout in a whisper. You feel warm on your cheeks and ears. “Okay, y/n. You were not.” She agreed in a playful sarcasm. “Tell that to your blushing cheeks.” She mumbles under her breath and rolls her eyes at the same time.

“What Aubrey?” You asked. “Oh nothing.” She smiled.

Aubrey slouch on the couch yet you sit next to her awkwardly straight up with your hands keep tapping your knees like they are a set of percussion. “So, how is she doing? Do you think she already feels better?” Your voice is almost like a whisper when you ask her as you don’t want Lizzie to hear it.

“Hmm. Care much, are you Ms. Y/L/N?” Once again, She always finds the chance to tease you about Lizzie. “Seriously? I asked just because that’s the right thing to do as a human being towards another.” You lifted an eyebrow as you tackled her tease once more. “You know what? Just forget I asked.” You added with a discomfort tone.

Aubrey giggled. “Geez, I was just joking. I think she’s feeling better but she still hates you.” She answered as she tried to hold a laugh teasing you. “Well, that, I don’t need to ask you, I already know. The whole world knows how much she hates me.” You shook your head. She giggles.

“So you are coming with us right?” You asked the girl next to you. “Nuh-uh. I’m not coming. I need to take a break from both of you and your arguments.” the brunette answers while her eyes locked on the TV. “Ouch. Are we that annoying?” You put your hand on your chest and act like you are hurt by what she said. “You guys are not annoying, I love both of you. You guys are just too funny for me to watch but I can’t say anything yet because both of you are too stubborn to listen to me and that’s annoying.” She said nonchalantly with a small smirk.

“What’s too funny about it? And what can’t you say yet? Tell me.” You jokingly push her shoulder. “Oh nothing. I have my own theory, you’ll know it next time.” She patched a meaningful smile. “Oh yeah? Probably a stupid theory?” You jokingly make fun of her. “Whatever y/n.” She giggles.

“Hey, y/n. I just want to say sorry. Honestly, I was the one who gave Lizzie the idea of giving you hell when you are working with her but I didn’t know it was you until she told me your name. Please don’t hate me.” Aubrey’s face showed remorse. “So, you are the one that makes my life a hell? Wow Aubrey. Thanks.” You said it in a playful tone.

“So you are not mad at me?” Aubrey looks relieved. “Nah,it’s okay. I figured anyway. You are forgiven.” You winked at her. “Gosh, y/n I thought you were serious.” She giggles. 

Lizzie comes out to the living room. “What are you giggling about Aubrey?” Then she notices you are there. “Oh.” That was all she said before she went back into the bedroom. A few minutes later, you notice that both of you need to leave not to be late. “Ms. Olsen, we have to go now. We can’t be late.” You told her from the living room. “Gosh y/n, Okay! Okay!.” She let out a harsh breath as she came out. “Bye Aubrey, I’ll see you later.” Lizzie yells as she walks out the suite room. You stand up, wave goodbye at Aubrey, and follow her .

_____

Both sitting on each side of the back seat, the car ride without Aubrey was silent. Just pure silence but you both taking turns on getting caught stealing glances at each other. You really don’t know why you have the urge to ask how she is doing while you know she for sure is not comfortable if you ask her that. You are just her assistant and her personal life is definitely none of your business.  Luckily, you both finally arrived at the location.

The photoshoot starts right away after her make up and wardrobe is ready. Everything is going well with the photoshoot until the last session with the last wardrobe, Sophie who is incharge of makeup and wardrobe had to leave early for a family emergency. Thank goodness, it is the last session, Lizzie just has to change to the last dress, do some shots and they can call it a day. Sophie asked if you can help with the last dress as she showed you which one and said you can just hang the dress once Lizzie’s done and you have no problem with it.

You wait for Lizzie outside the changing room to make sure everything is okay. You heard her softly grunts and curse under her breath. “Ms. Olsen, are you okay?” You heard other soft grunts. “I’m okay. Can you call Sophie please?” Lizzie asked, not knowing that the french lady already left. “Um, she left. She’s not here. Do you need help?”

“What do you mean she left?” She asked in surprise and confusion. “Yeah, she has a family emergency.” You explained. “I need help with the dress.” She asked from the other side of the wall. “I can help you.”

“No, not you. Is there somebody else who can help me?” She asked in a slightly irritated tone. “Yes, there’s Stefan, Andre, Antoine, Oh and there’s Claude.” You named all the crews that’s there who happen to be all males. “I meant a female one, y/n.” She opened the door a little, peek through the small open space and asked in annoyance.

“Yes, Her name is y/n. The only female here besides you.” You answered in a flat sarcastic tone, in emotionless face expression. “Like it or not, I'm the only one to help you.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Fine.” She groans and lets you in while trying her best to cover her body shyly. 

“Y/n, look the other way. Don't look over here.” She demanded. “How am I gonna help you if I have to look away?” You furrowed your eyebrows. She is in this red see-through sheer dress with some floral laces on some body parts that need to be covered with it but on the upper body part it looks like a beautiful corset. She turned around, her back facing you with the dress unzipped leaving her bareback exposed. You can see from the mirror in front of her, both of her hands crossed in front of her dress covered breast to hold the dress so as not to fall. She lowered her head, her face facing down.

The curve line from the back of her neck to her bareback with no bra straps whatsoever yet slightly covered with some strains of her long blonde hair was visible to you, the zipper slider body was way low on her lowest back, almost to her natural perfect size buttocks with the line of her g-string peeking out a little bit. Her peach-cream with a light hint of tanned skin colors look so flawless. Too perfect that no pores are visible.

You swallow your nervous feeling down, try hard to stop staring before she pulls her head up. No, you definitely don’t want her to notice that. “Okay,so you just need me to zip this up right?” You clear your throat. “Uh y-yeah.” You notice that she sounds nervous. 

“Okay. I’ll zip it up. Just pull the rest of your hair up so it won’t get caught in the zipper.” “She nodded, and her right hand grabbed the rest of her hair. The dress is slim-fitted, perfectly designed for her heavenly figure. You tried to pull the zip up by the pull tab but it was a little difficult to do, so you pulled it by the slider body. You tried to get a grip of it, your index finger is between her body and the dress. The tightness of the dress makes the tip of your finger slightly touch her skin. Both of you were surprised by it. You noticed her body jolted even in the very slightest movements when she felt the tip of your finger touch her skin.

You try to ignore the awkward feelings in the air, and you pull the zipper up slowly because you are afraid to ruin the dress. The room fell silent. The silence breaks down all barriers and makes you able to hear her breath hitch softly right when the tip of your finger lands on her bareskin slowly brushes her skin from the lowest part of her back slide up to the bottom of her back neck between her shoulders along her spine. Your eyes follow the zipper up and you lift your head higher to find her reflection in the mirror, her eyes closed and her lips slightly open as she slowly exhales.

“Uh-It’s all zipped up now.” You see her in the mirror standing there beautifully in the dress. She lifts up her head but as soon as her gaze locks with yours, she awkwardly turns her head sideways instantly. Meanwhile you are still hypnotized with the beauty in front of you.

“Take a picture. It will last longer.” Her voice brought you back to your consciousness. “I’m sorry?” You asked as you tried to recall what she was saying, unfortunately you didn’t pay attention at all. “I said, take a picture. It will last longer.” She repeated in annoyance.

“Oh. Uh, N-No, thank you. I’m good.” You answered quickly to hide your nervousness then you realized you picked the worst answer. You internally screamed at yourself for choosing such an answer but oh well, it is what it is. She was chagrined when you answered nonchalantly. She then walked out of the changing room and continued with the photoshoot.

As luck would have it, someone came to cover Sophie and help with the rest so both of you won’t have to deal with another insanely awkward encounter like earlier in the changing room.

______

Both of you are on the way back to the hotel now. After what happened in the changing room, it’s even more awkward to sit with her in the back seat even though there’s enough space in the middle space between you two. You tried to get busy to distract yourself, checking out work related things in your phone or notes and also answered a work call. You are talking french on the phone, Lizzie figured it’s from the magazine company. Lizzie took the chance that was laid in front of her to give yet another glance at you while you weren’t paying attention. 

Every single glance she threw seems to move up slowly. From your crossed leg then to your thigh and she noticed you are wearing ripped distressed jeans that show some part of your skin with your right hand on it. She glances again at your slender fingers with your polished short but not too short nails. She then realized she might glance too long (or more like staring). Mercifully, you still don’t notice what she’s doing.

She finally regains control of herself and stops herself from stealing glances at you then turns her head to watch the street of Paris through the window but that doesn’t stop her wondering what is happening with her at this moment. The more she wonders the more she gets irritated because she can’t figure it out.

Ch. 11

Taglist: @madamevirgo , @musicinourlips​ (Let me know if you want to be added in the tag list.)

[miraculouscontent]

*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s “there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 7 breakdown and analysis 

a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7. 

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot. 

another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me. 

now let’s get into the specifics. 

although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos. 

between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).

considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).

from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about. 

ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night. 

also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.

misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.

i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well. 

this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport’, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!! 

look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes. 

i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc). 

misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.

i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that. 

i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone. 

sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking. 

let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.

misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).

misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point). 

WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync. 

when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker. 

i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it. 

i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.

when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story. 

i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!

‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.

then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).

something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]

oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.) 

this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should). 

there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much. 

i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.

the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.

i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ‘will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.

if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.

the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves. 

aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha). 

i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions. 

i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.

when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).

listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.) 

i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.

you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013. 

and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)

okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands. 

misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]

misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.

fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’

this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit. 

the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation. 

there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so. 

how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.

jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.

‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it. 

can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it. 

and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.

(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)

okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help. 

 honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync. 

jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)

i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still. 

i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…

that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.

and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 278 “Miss Kaeko and the free-swinging vagrant boy”

Okay, so we’ve a new chapter that continues the flashback and as we read it we should all remember that...

... the choices we make shouldn’t do us more harm than good and joining the army when a war is about to start is SURELY a very harmful decision.

So we start with Sugimoto kicking away Tsurumi’s gun, a type 26 revolver by the way, which means he hadn’t managed to have Arisaka give him a Borchardt yet. Maybe the two weren’t friend yet or maybe Arisaka just didn’t have it yet.

Anyway, as Ogata enjoys what’s going on as he thinks he’s witnessing Yuusaku making a show, Sugimoto tries to reach for the gun and is stopped by Usami. While poor Kaeko gets a close look to Sugimoto’s privates from assorted angles and gets scolded by Hamako who tells her not to look, Tsukishima joins the fight telling Ogata to quit grinning and help. Not that Ogata is even considering to do it, as he has a lot more fun enjoying the show.

As Sugimoto beats Usami and Tsukishima Tsurumi realizes, to Ogata’s disappointment, he’s not Yuusaku…

and my mind goes back to chap 95, when Sugimoto wanted Suzukawa to dress up as a high-ranking officer, Ogata said they would see through the guise immediately and Sugimoto just makes an interesting expression.

I get the feeling when Sugi suggested it he was thinking at this experience and when Ogata shoot the idea down he was thinking at how Sugimoto got recognized by Tsurumi rather quickly.

I swear back then I would have never figured this was what was behind that exchange…

Anyway disappointed Ogata just doesn’t make a move to go and help Usami and Tsukishima. Noda in the fanbook said Ogata isn’t so bad at fighting but he clearly isn’t in Tsukishima or Usami’s league and Sugimoto is holding his ground against them both so he figured if he were to take part to the battle he would only get beaten.

Anyway as the fight progresses Tsukishima grabs the gun and is about to shoot Sugimoto but Kikuta, who was observing the scene not knowing what was going on as he had no idea who Tsurumi and his gang were, pushes Sugimoto away and tells him to run.

Hamako volunteers to keep them busy so as to allow them to escape and… stops Ogata, who had no intention whatsoever to do something right from the beginning...

Hamako, really, stop either Tsukishima or Usami, not him.

Sugimoto runs away with Kaeko (who only manages to grab his shirt). Tsukishima would like to chase them but Tsurumi stops him.

He has figured the man who got in the way should be Kikuta, and that this means Kikuta was doing his job properly.

This meeting probably gave Tsurumi a measure of the kind of man Kikuta is.

Capable but also self sacrificing for his men since he took a bullet for Sugimoto.

Meanwhile, as Sugimoto’s group escape they cross path with Yuusaku. Kaeko, from Sugimoto and Yuusaku’s conversation, realizes Sugimoto is a fake but doesn’t care. She’s now the one that pulls Sugimoto away as they escape.

I love how Yuusaku believes he has recognized Kikuta and Kikuta tells him he has the wrong guy.

Once they’re out Sugimoto wore his shirt and covered his privates with his hat. Really, I would have just bought him pants instead of stopping in the middle of the way to talk with Sugimoto’s lower half naked but whatever, let’s go on.

Sugimoto asks Kikuta who were those guys and Kikuta says he has no idea but maybe they were men working for Hanazawa.

Sugimoto explains he believed that was Kikuta’s “plan B” and at this Kikuta says his “plan B” actually involves fake Mr. and Mrs. Hanazawa, which Sugimoto still judges pretty horrible.

His worry though is all for Kaeko. Will someone come to try to silence her?

Kaeko, blushing and smiling, says there’s no need for someone to try to silence her because, to Sugimoto’s shock she now wants to marry him.

Sugimoto is clearly not interested though as he points out he’s a nobody with no parents, family, home or everything.

Kaeko says her family has money so he shouldn’t worry but Sugimoto points out that his world is just too different from her own and he has no place in Kaeko’s luxurious world.

This ties in an interesting way with how Sugimoto early in the story was chasing the gold to cure Umeko, yes, but also to get rich. Maybe a side of him, with time, started to long for a place in such a luxurious world and while he’s clearly not interesting in Kaeko but still holding a candle for Umeko, he clearly wanted to improve his social standing.

Kaeko tries to persuade him by telling him he could get used to it and starts living with her, especially since he has anywhere to stay, asking him what he plans to do otherwise.

She doesn’t look like she’s attempting to manipulate him, she just seems really invested in having him with her. She really got a big crush on Sugimoto if she’s willing to take him even if he has nothing.

Sugimoto confirms he thinks to join the army so he can at least have white rice to eat.

A side of me feels bad for him, life for him was very harsh before and now he’s saying he’s joining the army with such a big smile as if this were to fix everything but really, I get he was starved and desperate previously but Yuusaku just told him a war is about to start, joining the army is the last thing he should consider as his previous life will look like heaven once he’s thrown on the battlefield.

For as harsh as it was, his previous life didn’t gave him nightmares, countless scars and traumas. War is hell, thinking the opposite is naive.

Anyway Kikuta’s face darkens at this.

He took part to the Sino-Japanese war and lost a brother during it, he can see that’s not a bright decision.

Meanwhile Hamako joins them and informs Kaeko his family would never allow her to marry Sugimoto.

She then tells her she understands Kaeko is so focused on getting a good looking man because she feels inferior to her friends who already got married. As we learnt in the past chapter in fact, there was a certain pressure in getting married before finishing school, but Hamako points out how Kaeko doesn’t need an handsome man at her side as a decoration, she’s already an awesome woman excellent in both scholarly and athletic abilities.

It’s a rather strong talk, especially for a time in which a woman was viewed as nothing if she didn’t have a man by her side. Hamako surely has a modern mindsetting and I love how Noda included such a talk in his work.

Kaeko accepts Hamako’s statement and suggests to leave. Sugimoto bows deeply, apologizes to her for deceiving her and thanks her for showing him a short glimpse of a different, gorgeous world.

Although it’s nice Sugimoto apologizes, I’ll say it’s clear he isn’t interested in Kaeko, as he doesn’t have a single nice thing to say about her, not even he’s sure she’ll find someone better than him or that she’ll make it on her own, or that she’s a nice person or that he enjoyed being with her.

Kaeko instead, saying goodbye to him, tells him to become a truly dashing soldier, showing she’s interested in his future and that’s not all.

Kaeko will marry a big name in the world of finance (this big name likely based on Shibusawa Eiichi), ending up on being called ‘Empress’ but what’s more relevant is she joined the women’s association and dedicated her energies nursing injured soldiers returning from war and supporting their widows.

Although many rich women would do so, the reference here is likely to how she volunteered because a side of her still cared for Sugimoto and this pushed her to take care of the soldiers as a whole.

Meanwhile at the hotel Ogata, who’s alone for some reason, happens to cross path with Yuusaku. Yuusaku salutes him and then they walk separates way but we can see Ogata is giving his a sideway glance and it’s possible Yuusaku too is doing the same. There’s a chance they both have understood who the other is as Ogata might have suspected Yuusaku would be around and Yuusaku might have noticed how Ogata looked like his father.

Back to Sugimoto and Kikuta, Kikuta is sore due to the bullet he took and Sugimoto tells him he should be a carzy man to take a bullet for him. Kikuta says he’s responsible for involving Sugimoto in this mess and that it doesn’t matter anyway as he has got VIP seats on the train headed straight to hell so Sugimoto should forget about him and Yuusaku, which was the scene we saw in chap 274, the one that started this flashback.

Kikuta then tells him Sugimoto couldn’t have been serious when he said that would join the army, thanks him for his hard work and asks for his cap back. It’s worth to remember that cap was his brother’s cap so it has a sentimental value for Kikuta.

The chapter ends here.

I love how it remarked Kaeko’s value as a person who doesn’t need a man at her side in order to be wonderful. On the other side, although Sugimoto protected her, he really didn’t seem to be interested in her. At all.

Tsurumi and Kikuta’s first meeting was interesting and, as I’ve already said, how Ogata came to figure out that people would easily recognize fakes in the army was pretty unexpected.

I’m still not sure what Tsurumi planned to do when he got involved in the whole Yuusaku thing, he clearly wasn’t there due to Hanazawa’s orders as he had no idea of the scandal before Okuda mentioned it. Did he want to make Hanazawa feel indebted to him in the same way as he did with Koito? Did he want Yuusaku to join his collection of soldiers he groomed with love?

Hard to say.

On another side… really Sugi, Kikuta is right, joining the army is a dumb idea.

On another side I love how protective Kikuta is of him. He didn’t ask his name, which is a sign he tried to keep distance, yet he was willing to take a bullet for him. Kikuta is a good guy in his own way.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Deleted Scenes: A Character Study (Part 1)

Longer title -- “Deleted Scenes: if the Criminal Minds writers had any idea how to incorporate dramatic back story into a working narrative, A Character Study”

Every once in a while I get impassioned about something that happens in the show, or more importantly that doesn’t happen in the show -- but should have. This will probably be one of at least a handful, but for now, enjoy the pinnacle of my rage. Fueled by all the OPENINGS for Hotch to talk about his past and the writers taking advantage of NONE OF THEM, but this was my breaking point.

Rating: General 

Warnings: mentions of past child abuse

Pairing: none

Characters: Hotch, JJ

Episode, and placement: Season 10, Episode 05, “Boxed In”; after the episode 

Word count: 2,404

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29796501/chapters/73302726

--

A Prime Example

--

Very few things get to Aaron Hotchner. Especially things that are said with no relatable context to him or the details people don’t know about his life. His past, in particular. He pushes them back in compartmentalized little boxes, carefully labeled and sorted and set aside to be unpacked at a later date. They aren’t important when he’s on a case. When a twelve-year-old boy is missing and his life hangs in the balance. When time is of the essence. 

Which is why, on numerous occasions, he lets the things people say slide. 

Especially on the topic of Nature versus Nurture. 

He, himself, has written a handful of papers and reports on the very argument. There’s no doubt that Nature and Nurture have complicated roles in why ‘bad people do bad things’, in layman's terms. But the stigma surrounding it, cutting it into a black and white, all or nothing scenario will always rub him the wrong way. Not because he believes in it, one way or the other, but because he lives it. Day after day. 

It’s not his team’s fault that they don’t know that. Hotch keeps those parts of his life to himself. Lessons only he has learned, and has grown from, and keeps as careful guidelines. 

Until this case.

“I guess we all become our parents at some point.”

The way JJ had said this -- steady, with no hesitation, despite the choice in phrasing indicating it could be a right or wrong assumption -- gave the statement an air of inevitability. Creating a precedent in her mind that set Hotch's teeth on edge, though it had not been the appropriate moment to correct her on it. But it's not the first time JJ has said something along those lines. 

“Does the son of a sociopath even really have a chance?” 

Not a lot gets to Aaron Hotchner. Every other remark, observation, detail of an unsub’s correlation between their upbringing and their crimes he doesn’t let sting his exposition. It has never affected him before, and he vowed it never will. His father doesn’t get to take that away from him, too.

But the inevitability of her statement, indicating it was only a matter of time. No matter what he has done with his life or the person he has worked so hard to become and imbody, ultimately it wouldn’t matter in the end. That one day, Aaron Hotchner would be just like his father. He doesn’t know if he’d be able to live with himself, if that were to happen. 

That single, throw-away sentence, with a pedestrian phrasing he has heard over and over again, gets to Hotch. It buries itself in him like a tick and refuses to let go, not for tweezers or fire or smothering indifference. It is still there, echoing in his head as if shouted down a long tunnel, even after they get back to Quantico and are finishing up the closing paperwork later that week. He finds himself barely able to glance at JJ for longer than a moment without hearing her words once more, and Hotch berates himself for it. Over and over again. This is why he shuts it all down and doesn’t talk about it. This is why he keeps it buried, where it will never resurface. It interferes with the present, with his work and his friendships and his relationship with his son. 

His past needs to stay dead and buried in a plot in rural Virginia, where it belongs.

“I have those reports for you, Hotch,” JJ says, as if procured by his musings. He glances up for the briefest of moments, barely a blink, to acknowledge her and nod in thanks as she leaves the folders on his desk. Then he’s turning back to the SWAT team justification reports and expects that to be the last of it. Drowning himself in his work, where everything is strict codes and formal speech patterns and no emotional influence whatsoever.

Which is why he is surprised to hear JJ address him, again. Never having left his office. 

“Sir?” The formal term catches his attention even more. “Is everything alright? Did something happen after you missed Halloween night?”

“What?” The question genuinely throws him off, though it doesn’t show on his face. He had missed Halloween, the first time he had ever done so, but Jack understood. He was always much more accepting of the parameters of Hotch’s job than Haley ever was. It was all he’s ever known. “Oh, no -- Jack had a fun night. Slept on the couch so I could see him in his costume when he got home. How was Henry’s night?”

“He and Will had a great time,” JJ answers, her careful, worried expression not waning in the face of Hotch’s slightly more upbeat tone. It’s something he slips into subconsciously when speaking about Jack, or to Jack, or anywhere Jack might hear. Compartmentalization. “I just… noticed you seem off.”

Hotch nods once, in acknowledgement, because he knows he has. He’s working on it. There was no need for an intervention like this. He’s the Team Leader and Unit Chief, he wasn’t the one people were supposed to be checking on.

“Delayed reaction to the case,” he answers, looking back to the SWAT team report and signing off on another section for mobilization after hours. Overtime justifications. Bureaucracy needs the ‘i’s dotted and ‘t’s crossed. “Nothing to worry about.” 

JJ takes pause, and still doesn’t make for the door of his office. Like she needs to elaborate somehow, now that Hotch has left a small crack of an opening into his inner sanctum. 

“I know we all have cases that hit us too close to home,” she concedes, the start of a much longer speech. “Young boys, even the troublemakers --”

“No, JJ, I appreciate the concern,” Hotch interrupts, and does his best to appease her by keeping the hardness off his face. “But it’s nothing to do with Jack or facts we found. It’s a personal matter.” 

“Of course, it’s just --”

Years ago, that would have been that and JJ would have left his office. But time and history have blurred their relationship from boss and subordinate to friends and family. Personal matter no longer meant private, it meant a switch in barriers. It meant family. 

She steps closer to his desk.

“You are always there for us, for these kinds of cases.” Her blue eyes bore into his, a technique Hotch recognizes as a fellow parent, to get through and make sure the person they are speaking to is really listening. “But, do you ever allow anyone to be there for you?”

He sighs through his nose. She’s not going to let this go, he can see that. No profiling needed.

“Sit.” 

Closing the file, Hotch resigns himself to the fact that this was something inadvertently he’d been wanting to talk to JJ about, anyway. She had been a profiler for the team almost nearly as long as she’d been communications liaison, now, and although this could have waited for her performance review -- it tied into what was bothering him. The small smile of victory, and relief, slips from her lips as she sees the serious set to Hotch’s mouth. JJ is one hell of a profiler. The best ones did it without even knowing they were doing so.

“Wait… is this about me?” she looks mildly scandalized to even have to suggest it. Although really, it shouldn’t surprise her too much. Hotch knows he isn’t great about making things about himself, even when the conversation is supposed to be. So he gathers his thoughts, with such little prep time, and decides to start with where this whole debacle had begun. 

In the car. When JJ had made her off-handed comment.

“The events of our lives shape us, and bring us here. As they do for everyone. It’s a technique that also helps us narrow down our profiles. How we were raised, what he have gone through. Heredity factors.”

JJ is staring hard at him, now. Deciphering the point, attempting to look ten steps ahead when Hotch has barely revealed three.

“You’re talking about Nature versus Nurture.” 

“You could say that,” Hotch acquiesces. “In a lot of ways we are our parent’s lineage. Unless we choose not to be. I only became a prosecutor because my father was. But now, here I am.”

The parent’s lineage is a direct drop towards the conversation in the car. Both JJ and Hotch are intelligent adults, as is the entire team. Sometimes the most direct reference isn’t needed. Sometimes a key phrase is what links the mind back to the moment, replays it in the mind’s eye so it becomes fresh and there’s no confusion. Fewer words can connect more than a thousand, Hotch had learned that early on as well. 

“I was… I was speaking more toward behavior,” JJ elaborates, still unaware where the conversation is going. How this has correlated to Hotch’s odd mood. 

“I know you were. And my statement still stands,” Hotch answers plainly. “I’ve noticed that sometimes agents, myself included, let bias dictate their profiles. And we need to stray away from that kind of influence.” 

JJ’s slight frown becomes defensive. Confused, but not angry. She’s learning quickly, Hotch notices. 

“Nature and Nurture are a part of standard psychology practices. With a lot of information and testing to back it up. Spence could give you statistics for days, I’m sure. It’s proven.”

“Yes, as a theory. Not as a rule.” Hotch continues, giving her that steady, stern but gentle tone that borders on chastisement. 

“I have yet to see an exception to that rule, when it comes to children of violent offenders,” JJ buckles down. “If they are the target of that violence, it warps them, Hotch. Plain and simple. How do they recover from something like that?” She’s shaking her head, getting caught up in the emotional aspect of it all over again. The hopelessness of its appearance.

“Any way they can.” 

Now he has JJ’s attention, because she hears the shift as soon as it forms on his tongue. The air heavier, hazy like an old memory.

“Sometimes they leave home as soon as they graduate just to escape the situation, and spend their whole adult lives trying to eradicate it. By burying themselves in, say… Law School.” JJ’s stare goes vacant, and Hotch at least has the decency to look away from her as he continues. He has a point to make. “So they can put away people like their abuser. But when that’s not enough, prosecuting after the fact, they start to focus on ways to catch the offenders in the act. Save victims in the real world. Use what they know from experience, but in the field, so no one else slips through the cracks.”

“H-Hotch, I--”

“If there was a file on me as detailed as these on my desk, and there probably is somewhere in this building,” Hotch barrels on, not letting JJ get a word in edgewise. “Then the first seventeen years of my homelife would look nearly identical to John David Bidwell's childhood.” He didn’t need to go into further detail, though bullet points from the case all bust flash between them in neon. 

Strict, domineering father figure. Church every Sunday, as a control and appearance factor. At home: a constant deluge of beratements, fear, shouting and fists. Something was always wrong, someone always deserved a punishment. No one was safe. They did what they could, followed the rules to a tee, but that wasn't always enough.

They survived, because that's all that they could do.

And he had.

“If you really require a physical, living exception to the rule, I’d like to hope we know each other well enough that you would consider myself that exception.” It’s the closest he’s ever come to admitting what happened in his father’s household, and Hotch knows that’s as far as he will let it go. No elaboration needed. “Even if I can be ‘a bit of a bully’.” 

Stunned and shocked, the last part probably wasn’t needed. But, again, Hotch has a point he’s trying to get across -- and he wants it to make an impact.

“Hotch, I’m so sorry,” JJ croaks out, and he still can’t look right at her.

“Don’t be, you didn’t know,” he soothes her, swallowing a little hard. “No one on the team does, not even Dave.”

“--No one?”

“The only one who probably did was Gideon, but not because I told him. He was just that good of a profiler. You will be, too, one day -- I see that level of potential in you. Profilers are always learning, evolving, developing their skills.” Hotch finally turns his head, and catches sight of JJ with her eyes bright and her nose red. Her tell-tale physical signs that she’s been holding back tears. “Let this be one of those moments.” 

She nods, wipes at her eyes discreetly, and collects herself with more strength than Hotch or anyone else ever gives her credit for.

“Was he ever convicted? Your father?”

“No,” Hotch says, level. “He died of colon cancer ten years ago. He never even met Jack. Neither did my mother, though I am sorry for that.” 

Silence stretches in the wake of Hotch’s reveal, and JJ only breaks it when she can’t seem to keep it back any more.

“You’re… you’re not really a bully. You know.”

“Yes, I am,” Hotch tells her, the smallest traces of a smile smoothing the sharp edges of his face. “But only when I choose to be. When it matters.” 

JJ huffs out a watery laugh, scoots to the edge of her seat as if to stand, but hesitates once more.

“You didn’t have to tell me. But thank you. I’m… I’m glad you felt that you could.” 

The sentiment warms the inside of Hotch’s chest, ice cold from the memories he never dredged up if he could afford it. It helps ease them back under the floorboards of his mind, where they belong.

“Thank you for listening.” 

She was right. He didn’t confide in anyone, and he doesn’t know if this will help him -- more than likely, not -- but it helped JJ. And that’s what mattered. His team. His family. Growing, learning, becoming all the better for it. The best people he had ever known. 

The family he had chosen for himself.

“Goodnight, Hotch.”

“Night, JJ.”

-end scene-

[bonsai62]

Part 1: The Compatibility between Pisces and Capricorn

Hello everyone! Today, since I am hella bored and have nothing to do this fine evening, I am going to talk about the relationship between our two boys; Yuji and Megumi and how much they represent their signs so much.

Before I get started, I am not going to talk about their sex life even though it’s kinda important if you are into astrology, however, for this case I won’t because both of them are minors. But if you want to read more about their comparability then be my guess and look at the underline links. I will provide links in the discussion so you can have a better understanding on how the signs are and use manga pages for you to visually see it.

Also, excuse my English. I am very bad at it! Even though it’s my first language I still have lots of errors in my writing!

Also beware of manga spoilers too!!

Let’s get started on this very long essay!

Traits of a Pisces: Itadori Yuji

Positive: Compassionate (top), empathetic (middle), & creative (bottom)

We also have: Warm/gentle, caring, intellectual, animal lover, and romantic

Here we have the positive side of a Pisces and let me tell you it screams Yuji so damn much. Yuji is such a compassionate guy. I don’t think I have never seen a character who is very compassionate like Yuji (I have but we are talking about Yuji here lol). He can empathize with a whole lot of people and no matter what the situation is he understands. Yuji doesn’t need to have the same experience as someone because he can feel and get in their head to make him understand what their going through. Which brings me to that he has a really high empathy level when it comes to people (I can relate a lot because I have the same thing). However, having a lot of empathy isn’t all that’s cracked up to be but I’ll talk about it soon.

A Pisces is also very creative and they love hobbies. One of Yuji’s favorite hobbies is, I have a feeling is sports but that just based on what his old school thought of him + the baseball game. Plus cooking! Cooking is an amazing hobby and it lets you get creative with your hands and skills! I like to imagine that he is the best cook throughout the school and loves to share with his classmates and have them rate his cooking lol! Cooking is also a relief of stress so I can also imagine him having a bad day and just ends up being in the kitchen.

Now....

Negative: Overly emotional (top), impressionable (bottom), closed off (middle)

I messed up the order lol

We also have: melancholy, lazy, stubborn, moodiness, etc

Yuji is a very emotional person. We have seen him at his best and at his worse. He is such an emotional person that he felt bad for killing Choso’s brothers. His emotions gets the best of him when Junpei died, Megumi was hurt, seeing what Sukuna has done in Shibuya, and Nanamin/Nobara getting destroyed by Mahito. It’s an unhealthy feeling because we’ve seen Yuji get distracted with his injured friends and him kinda fucking up on his fighting. Another unhealthy trait that Yuji had is not talking about himself. We’ve seen him not talk about his feelings and I mean personal deep feelings that’s always going to be in the back of his head. Like when Megumi knows that something happened to Yuji but Yuji simple doesn’t want to talk about and closes it. He doesn’t really like talking about himself and rather hear other people/helping other people rather than face his own demons. If he’s facing his own demons, he rather be doing it on his own.

I also want to point out that many people think that he gets over people’s death hella easily. No... that is not true whatsoever. The boy has been through so much trauma that eventually you just get so tired of crying about it and you don’t have the energy anymore, you eventually start telling yourself “it is what it is” or “what can I do now?”. Noabra is a perfect example. He didn’t need to cry because he had the biggest mental breakdown when it happened. So when he asked Megumi about her status... he just had to say “alright”.

In my theories... she is definitely alive. Again, Gege is playing half of you guys. She is gonna pop out in the next couple of chapters or even the one coming up next.

Another things that I find interesting in Yuji which according to the links I put, Pisces tend to trust people easily:

Ease of being cheated: A desire to see the best things in other people makes the Two Fish very impressionable individuals. They trust others without any suspicions and often suffer from their frivolity. Any pressure of stronger people is accepted as a command for them and they easily agree with them without any doubts.

For instant, Todo and Choso. Those two mf were about to kill him but they didn’t because of what Yuji’s mind fuck did (I know Gege sensei said that isn’t a theory but still it’s mind fuck lol) He instantly call Todo his best friend like I can hear Nobara (Big sis) twitching somewhere lol. Whenever I think of Yuji and Todo’s relationship, I think of Vinny and Paula D from Jersey Shore haha!

Any who, while trusting people isn’t a bad thing, you still don’t know what their intentions are and everything. It’s a very naive thing to do.

But I felt for Yuji and Choso... Yuji didn’t have much of a choice...

I would like to know what changed Yuji’s mind into staying with Choso. I’m curious how Yuji “trusted” being with Choso after everything that went down. Yuji is a very forgiving character too (minus Mahito). But now, I think we can see that Choso has no bad intentions towards Yuji because he “might” be his brother. And their so cute too!!

On to our other boy!

Traits of a Capricorn: Megumi Fushiguro

Positive: Resourcefulness (top), discipline/patient (middle: also thank @pantherbeamish for the photos!), and reliability (bottom)

We also have: Responsibility, loyalty, diligence, team player, etc

Megumi is a very interesting character. Whenever I see him I get more interested in him. He is exactly what you would describe a Capricorn. We have seen Megumi be resourceful when it comes understanding how curse energy works thanks to him. He is very detailed when it comes to explaining and also a very patient man when Yuji, who doesn’t know jack shit about the Jujutsu world. Never, not once, does Megumi call Yuji an idiot for not knowing all these things. That’s what makes him amazing because if it were other Shonen mangas, the “rival” would’ve called Yuji an idiot. The only time Megumi ever calls Yuji an idiot is when Yuji literally does or says something stupid. To me, that is normal and not being a dick about it because we all know that if we had a friend like Yuji we would’ve stared at him like “why are you like this...”

It’s me... I’m a lot like Yuji lol

But no, he is very patient and tries to explain everything to Yuji as best as he can. I have this thing where almost everyone relies on Megumi a lot because he’s a serious guy + very responsible with his tasks. We see Maki trusting Megumi too. Like the time when Megumi was hyping Yuji up saying he can beat everyone in the Kyoto school if they didn’t use curse energy (something like that lol). Yuji also can confirm himself that Megumi is very reliable. He mentioned it while back at the prison because both sibling duo thought they were lost.

Negative: Sensitivity (top), seriousness (middle), reservation (bottom)

We also have: Unforgiving, criticism, suspicion, pickiness, etc

Just like Yuji, we have seen Megumi’s negative side a lot but it’s simply because he’s sensitive and thinks logically. Sometimes, I also feel like he thinks through his heart as well but that’s just me. That is where the sensitivity comes along. Megumi is hella sensitive he doesn’t need to show it because you can feel it.

In the article:

Sensitivity: It is better not to offend Capricorns who are very sensitive people. They can’t stand being laughed at and remain serious in public but feel badly deeply in their souls. Even a minor joke can result in resentment from their side!

In many, many occasions we have seen everyone fucking around or getting on Megumi’s nerves, especially in our recent Jujustroll where Gojo is saying a bunch of nonsense and embarrassing tf out of Megumi. His seriousness gets in the way and that’s what makes him sensitive.

On the side note: I also wanted to add something. As I was reading a few articles, some mentioned that Capricorns are... bland. Please, Capricorns!! No me ataques! I just find it interesting that someone, like Todo, who thinks Megumi is boring. Todo honestly thought he was boring since he first asked him what was his type and while Megumi gave us the best answer, Todo expected something more fun. But no, it was boring. Also, Megumi lives a simple life. Now, I’m not saying that Megumi is boring because as a matter of fact I like how simple he is. He likes to keep things neutral. Personally, on his activities he is considered “bland” and honestly, I can see why but I would still go out my way to enjoy it with him if I was his significant other lol I also feel like he has a good sense of style in fashion. I’m saying that judging from the official arts + “Lost In Paradise” because in that ED Megumi be looking like a bowl of fruits. A bowl of snacks lmao!

But, anyways! Megumi is also reserved to himself. He does not like talking about himself at all (hon hon does that sound like someone?). He doesn’t open up to a lot of people but I kinda feel like he does with Gojo but that’s just because Gojo raised him and he just knows when Megumi is feeling a certain way. Also, I bet Gojo just knows when Megumi is having a bad day too. We witnessed him just being in his own bubble in the current arc that is happened in the anime. Yuji and Nobara calls him out about him being so reserved to himself. He does eventually tells them what is going on, but it takes a lot for a Capricorn to open up and it’s totally understandable. I feel as if you want a Capricorn to open up, you have to let them give you time for them to get to know you. Give them your intentions and put in the effort to make them trust you.

Now in to the fun part!!

1. Trust:

Positive:

Articles 1: They will often understand each other well enough to respect their relationship and keep it clear of dishonesty

I’m a use this imagine again btw because this speaks their relationship clearly

I think what I truly love about their relationship and love the idea of them being an endgame is the trust that they have for one another(even though someone is gonna die). They barely knew each other for 2 months and their chemistry is off the mf charts.

The picture above isn’t just them having an eye opening moment but the fact that they trust each other to save one another.

Megumi had saved Yuji so many time

Yuji had also saved Megumi so many times

Tbh, when I was thinking about Megumi coming in to save Yuji from Yuuta and Naoya, I thought it would be the same as when Yuji saved Megumi and Maki from Hanami, but we got something better. We got to see Megumi never doubting Yuji and always making sure that he gives him as many chances as he gives. I hope that sparks a realization for Yuji because sometimes I always felt that he doesn’t really acknowledges Megumi doing a whole lotta things for Yuji. I’m still complaining about it because if he can say “thank you, best friend” to Todo or “thank you, Kugisaki, for letting me know that I am not alone” to Nobara, then he should definitely see how much Megumi gives a fuck about him.

I expect a “thank for being by my side and never doubting me” for Megumi.

Articles 2: Pisces, who prefers to hand off important decision-making to dominant Capricorn, feeds into the goat’s need to be in control. On the flip side, Capricorn trusts Pisces to attend to its emotional needs—something that can be very difficult to allow at first.

This is interesting because a lot of the time Megumi is always making the plans and the choices. I feel like Yuji tends to rely on Megumi a lot because Yuji respects the way Megumi thinks (I’m not saying he doesn’t do that with anyone either).

Another thing is that:

“Capricorn trust Pisces to attend to its emotional needs-something that can be very difficult to allow at first”

I want to use Yuji asking Yuuta to kill him if Sukuna comes out especially for Megumi’s sake as an example of “emotional needs” because we see that Yuji does not want to be anywhere near Megumi because of Sukuna. In Yuji’s emotional state, he would rather have Yuuta kill him than Megumi. A lot of people also have this head canon that the reason why he asked Yuuta to kill him instead of Megumi is because Megumi already has a lot on his plate or something. I forgot the theory lol

But... I have a feeling that Megumi is gonna end up killing Yuji at the end because it should be him...

But yes,

Let’s see where things end with the current event that is happening now.

But unfortunately, I have to stop right here because Tumblr only allows 10 images in one post. Tragic!

I do hope you guys enjoy and please comment if I’m missing anything with them! Let’s hope I won’t take long with part 2 because I’m hella busy at times! Overall, tell me what you guys think!

[purplerose244]

Irrational - Chapter 6: Okay

BACK WITH ANOTHER ONE!! 💙💙💙

Here’s the sixth chapter for the @spacecampweek, for the prompt “You’re okay”, the one that makes all Space Campers’ heart beat faster! 🥰🥰 I had fun on this one, lots of overthinking Seamus while Krel tries to be sincere 😙

Enjoy! 💕💕

Summary:  "I need to talk to you" With a message like this how could someone blame Seamus for being worried out of his mind? Considering how little he was proud of his past and how much it felt like he was never going to make up for it, it felt like the natural conclusion of the upcoming discussion was going to be a breakup. ... he and Krel were not a couple though?

Read it on the AO3

Tarron: Hello Johnson

Tarron: Are you free now, by any chance?

Tarron: I require your presence

Tarron: …

Tarron: I need to talk to you

So, Seamus was panicking. Those few little messages in rigorous grammar had been sent more than an hour ago, and he had been unable to think about anything else ever since. Today’s impossible amount of homework? Forgotten. Logan chatting to him about the latest Fist to Face game? Never heard of it. The fact that his dad had forgotten his lunch in the fridge and tonight he was going to be absolutely unsufferable to the entire world him included? Didn’t even phase him.

All he had allowed himself to do was lay down onto his bed, stare at his ceiling covered in those familiar fluorescent stars and contemplate the universe. Or his life. Or how he was going to deal with it from now on if Krel was going to break up with him.

“… wait a second. Hey, wait a second!” Suddenly he got up, sitting onto his mattress with crossed legs. “He can’t break up with me! We’re not even together!” He stood up, bouncing lightly, the biggest smile over his face. “Krel won’t break up with me because we’re not a couple! That’s it! What a relief! Eheh… yeah, that’s not really good news, but still.” He sighed, scratching the back of his head. “At least whatever this is it’s not for that… is it?” He widened his eyes. “Can he break up with me as a friend? Is that a thing?!” He slowly let himself fall down onto his seat again, gaping helplessly. “Oh gosh, what is going on anymore, how do you do relationships again??” He was so happy Steve wasn’t there witnessing his breaking down and teasing the heck out of him.

His eyes fell onto his phone, left untouched over the nightstand. There was only way to find this out, no matter how terrifying it was. Seamus took a deep breath and picked it up.

Me: Sounds serious

Me: Alright man, be there in ten

Tarron: Thank you

This guy was even taking the time to thank him. Him, the arrogant Krel Tarron, the one who had always taken every chance at showing teachers how to do their jobs, so he didn’t have to thank them for accidentally teaching him. Something was definitely off, and Seamus wasn’t completely sure he was looking forward to finding out.

That being said, he had been called to Krel’s house. By Krel. He would have not been able to stop himself from going… and his feet had already left his house for the Tarron’s residence.

Yeah, he was weak. And terrified, but he could deal with one feeling at the time.

During the entire trip his unfortunately very well-trained mind was systematically replaying his life ever since he had first met Krel, wondering what exactly the matter at hand was and if it involved something he had done – his pessimism said yes, his optimism said pessimism had a point. It turned out there was almost too much material supporting that theory into his head, between all those racist remarks from the very beginning, the numerous deadly glares because of his A+s, calling him a cheater, cheering Steve from that time he was about to punch him saying to “knock him back to wherever he came from” – if only time travel was real and he could go slap himself. Sure, after the Math Duel they had started to get along. Sure, he had made lots of effort to improve himself in order to show Krel that he was thankful for what he did. Sure, he had joined their group of friends several times at this point even engaging in a few conversations with Pepperjack – what in the world this Earth Invaders was the coolest thing ever. It was all shaded under the massive jerk he had been as a first impression though, something he was never going to be able to shake away.

When the retro style house appeared around the corner, Seamus was struck by the feeling that something was meant to happen in there, and he was in no way mentally prepared. All he was hoping for was that he could still be friends with the Cantaloupian, in order to at least pretend to dream that one day he might grow a pair and ask him out. Yet his brain was being mean. It only replayed Krel’s scowl into his mind when the Math Duel had been proposed, again and again.

Before he knew it or wanted it, he was in front of the door, sweating bullets. He didn’t want to, maybe he was still in time to back down and run at the speed of light, pretending that he had fallen asleep or that his dad had demolished his house because of an A-… which wasn’t unlikely.

Too late, force of habit had him press the doorbell. It ringed inside of his brain as well, making him realize that this was it. There was no coming back.

It had been nice having a genius as a friend.

“… hello Johnson.” A single brown eye peaked from the barely opened door, like he was checking for intruders. Krel looked so distressed, his hair was a little messy as well. “Thank you for coming with such a short notice, I know it must’ve been quite bothersome for you, especially when your father is involved.” It was wrong, so wrong, Krel wasn’t supposed to feel this unsure and diffident. He was supposed to feel confident, in control, happy. “Really… thank you.” A second thank you. No, this wasn’t only worrying anymore, this was straight up a problem. Something the blonde was apparently a part of, which didn’t help his current anxiety.

“Uhm, no worries.” Seamus was let in. It was dead quite inside, grandpa Tarron was definitely somewhere else, or he would have heard him from outside – same with Aja… and Mrs. Tarron… and Mr. Tarron, alright this family was all genetically loud. “Are we alone?” Wow, an occasion like this and he was going to be dumped, his usual luck.

No, not dumped, not… probably… hopefully.

“Varvatos is out for his usual chess game with the other geezers, Aja is currently participating to the event called ‘girls time’. As for the Bla- parents, mine, they are not… here.” He was scratching his palm, a tic Seamus had never seen on him before. “Would you like some liquids for hydration?”

That made him laugh a little. This guy was so weird it was adorable.

“Trying to be a good landlord by offering drinks, Tarron?” Krel looked at him and smiled a little, shrugging. Seamus laughed again. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Good… good.” The brunette took the deepest breath, walking towards the couch, gesturing for him to follow. The air was getting tense, something Seamus would have never wanted around the guy he liked. It seemed important he followed through though. “Johnson?” He was right next to him, but the blonde still hummed affirmatively. “There is something I need to tell you. Perhaps I should’ve addressed this right away, when we had started to get to know each other better, but it… it is not an easy thing to do for me.” Again, he was scratching the palm. “I hope you understand.”

Oh.

Oh gosh.

Oh gosh Seamus was right. Krel totally wanted to dump him… as a friend.

He knew it, he should had known right from the beginning that nothing was going to make his situation better. He had screwed up big time right away, there was no way someone as smart and cool and beautiful – alright Johnson chill – as Krel could ever want to stay close to him. He had clearly reached his limit with him, all the patience he could had given to him, now he was finally going to ask to never see him again.

Seamus clenched his fists over his knees. Dang it, he wished he was angrier about this, he wished that his usual mood would have gone out by now just to vent his frustration, the fact that he wasn’t good enough just like dad had always said.

He couldn’t. He cared about him more than that, he didn’t want to upset him even more.

“Alright, I’m all ears.” He really didn’t want to be, but for him he was going to endure.

Krel looked down, almost as he was struggling to gather his words. For someone this brilliant and with no filter whatsoever, it was really weird to see.

“Where do I start… this is something that does not have anything to do with you, I hope you know this. It is not that I do not trust you, I know you are a good person now.” Wow, really? The good old ‘it’s not you it’s me’? He might had as well kicked him in the ankles and screamed that he was never going to date jerky blondes with problematic fathers – huh, that actually ruled Steve out too –, pity was the last thing he wanted. “The matter is far more complicated than you could think… it’s… ah kleb, when Aja did this it has not looked nearly as difficult!”

Mind explosion. Seamus gaped, almost choking with air.

“Aja? Aja did something like this?” His brain was starting to melt. The Cantaloupian nodded without looking at me, as it was something normal. “With Steve?!”

“Yes, and she did not hesitate for a sekton. I wish I had her resolve right now.” Why and how and when and where and how did Aja actually break up with Steve?! There was no way, not only the Palchuk would have called him a million times to have him console his sorry butt, but such a juicy gossip not way would have not reached Mary’s ears by now – and if she knew, the entire town knew. “Perhaps this is because she never had problems finding people to hang out to, she was always very well liked, even back home.” His inside scream stopped. Krel was gloomy again. Seamus slapped himself for thinking that even now, with those big sad eyes and a rare vulnerability in him, he was really pretty. “While I do not want to risk losing the few people I have, they came almost by accident. Alas, it would not be fair to keep this from you… especially from you.” Oh. The marvel, the way his cheeks were slightly red, his eyes adorably timid.

It really was easy for someone like Seamus to be pleased. Maybe he could take it. He could take this moment, this outstanding view of a completely different Krel into his heart, to conserve after everything was to end. There was no way he wanted for him to suffer because of his mistakes, not again, and if that meant not being friends anymore, that was fine.

It wasn’t, but it could be. Maybe… hopefully.

Seamus was going to slap himself for this as well, later, but right now he couldn’t help it. He grabbed one of his hands, holding it between his with a smile.

“Ever heard about ‘few but good’?” Krel was looking at their united hands, looking baffled, shaking mindlessly his head. “Here in Arcadia you have friends, people that care about you. It doesn’t matter what came before, it’s about here and now.” He swallowed, caressing the back of his hand. “And… and even if something put a distance in between, they would still care. Trust me, you’re that likable.” He really hoped he wasn’t saying too much.

It looked enough. Everything would have been enough given that beautiful, relieved smile.

“Thank you.” Krel looked at him, straight into his eyes with those wonderful brown irises of his, lips trembling slightly. Seamus took a mental breath. This was it, it was happening. In a moment everything was going to end. He didn’t want to, he didn’t but- “The truth is… I am an alien.”

It felt like a pop. All fears and grief and acceptance he had gathered until now, growing larger and wider like a weird motivational balloon, they all exploded altogether by the aid of a single quill.

It took him a moment. A minute, a few seconds, it was hard to tell.

“… huh?” He was still holding his hand, and Krel was staring with fearful eyes. “An illegal alien?”

“No… or rather not completely, I am still a little confused by your concept of ‘legal’, the last time the term had been presented to me by Jim Lake and his friends it was not properly explained.” Somehow in his mess of a head knowing Lake and his group was involved was the only thing that made sense – weirdness happening, skinny legs definitely was in it somehow. “Anyway, I am an actual alien… although the term is quite offensive, for me and for the entire extraterrestrial population, the actual denomination would be Akiridion… but we can, uhm, we can talk about that later.” Krel sighed, his shoulders sinking. “I am truly sorry, I know I’ve kept this for a long time. Not many are aware of this, and I could not tell you until I knew I could trust you but even then-”

During his complete mind blackout, the only certainty was that this guy was speaking words to him. It was only in a brilliant moment for his highly complimented brain that Seamus Johnson managed to find his way back to this world, to realize exactly what was happening. The guy he liked was blabbering about something involving space, the situation was a ton less tense than it was before, and there was nothing threatening his relationship with the Cantaloupian.

In other words…

“Wait, so you’re not dumping me?!?” Krel widened his eyes – was that a blush again? Seamus bit his tongue. “I mean, I thought… you still wanna be friends?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?”

What a rational and normal question. Seamus was starting to feel really stupid now about himself.

“I don’t know! It sounded serious and I thought about all possible scenarios, the fact that I literally called you cheater only because you’re good at math and my dad was absolutely horrible to you and… I don’t know, all the rest.” The blonde pressed his lips together. “It made sense.”

“No it did not!” His hold tightened, Seamus didn’t think his heart could beat any faster. “Whatever you brain has been up to, cease this instant! You are supposed to be smart enough to measure up with me!” His face was close. They both realized it at the same time, suddenly letting go and looking in opposite directions. “I-I mean… you are one of my best friends, Johnson. Sure, you made some mistakes in the past, but you are doing your best to be a better person.” Ah, that tone was too much, Seamus had to look again. Good idea, he was smiling again. “And if it makes you feel less self-conscious, I have way more good memories of you than bad ones.”

I did help. Although this guy could had said something like “You are a mediocre math student but I have saved you so you now must show loyalty towards me” and that would have done it. Again, he was weak, and even if that would have been one massive hit to his pride, he would have bled his inferiority complex all over to have at least another moment with him.

… holy mole, maybe he liked Krel a little more than he had thought.

Seamus breathed in. Then he released a massive sigh of relief, because he liked Krel a lot, and he didn’t want to part ways. He had never wanted to, even while trying to be the mature one and accept his fate. At last, he was still here.

“My gosh Tarron, you sounded so serious in your message! I was so worried!”

“You cannot hear written messages Johnson, I fail to understand how you could’ve caught that intention into my texting.” Despite the mockery, there was a lighter tone into his voice. “I was equally concerned myself, I truly didn’t want to lose you, no matter the situation. I cannot comprehend how Aja managed with Steve so easily.” Ah, Staja was still going strong then, good for them. “I guess back then the abduction helped breaking down the news, it is hardly something you can avoid in such a situation.” Yeah, that made sense, with an abduction involved… “And with Steve almost falling to his death, Aja’s reveal was mostly a matter of chances.” Falling to his… death? “Thinking about, it was less about sister’s resolution and more a necessity… what? What is it?” Krel was giving him a confused look, only fair to an equally confused stare.

Freed from the stress of the worry, Seamus’ brain had managed to reboot, finally coming back to its senses as his crush was explaining the situation to him. About an alien abduction, about a fall from a spaceship apparently, how Aja was also a… a…

“… you’re an alien.”

Krel blinked at him.

“I thought I established that already.”

“Sorry, it’s just… it’s kinda coming to me only now, give me a moment.” He pressed his hands over his eyes, breathing in deeply, then he pulled it all out. Krel. His friend, his crush, was an alien. An actual alien. “… don’t take this the wrong way, okay? Because I trust you, I know you don’t joke around and you’re usually even too serious and literal. But this feels a little unreal, or either something you’re making up to turn my long-lasting dream of interacting with the extraterrestrial world true. Which I thank you for, but I really don’t understand why.”

He got a frown out of that, which was better than what he had expected since he knew Krel didn’t like when people didn’t believe him or listen to him. The guy – alien or, what did he say before, Akiridion? – hummed softly, looking around, then he lightened up. He took out something, a protractor by the look of it, showing it to him.

“I have very concrete proof, though it might be quite surprising. Please stay calm, okay?” Seamus nodded, not really sure what to expect. Krel pressed something over his protractor, there was a sudden light what in the- Oh. Oh. “There, this is my actual form. Well, my Akiridion form, I do not mind my human form at this point, it is almost like another side of me. This is to tell you that my appearance was simply that, the real Krel is always here, I hope this is a given for you.” He felt himself being observed. “Johnson?” He felt himself being poked a little. “I told you to remain calm, what are you doing? Is this a human reaction? Are you sick perhaps?” Not that hearing Krel worried about him wasn’t nice, but his thoughts resided elsewhere.

Like the fact that in the house of his crush, this apparition had materialized. There was a glow in front of him, pulsing blue of energy that almost made him look away. Beyond that there was a creature, taller than the one before, even more given the mane of glimmering hair raising up as without gravity. His body was dark but luminous, like space covered in stars, able to shine through despite the darkness. His eyes were blue through a black world, like far away dashing planets.

Seamus gaped, feeling like he forgot to breath for several minutes. It was ridiculous falling in love all over again, right? Right, of course. This was fine, perfectly fine, nothing to be this amazed b- Oh holy everything he had four arms, he was an al- Akiridion with four arms, screw everything his amazement was off this house’s roof and there was nothing he could have done about it.

His brained had switched off again, the little traitor. When it came back, Krel was looking at him with deep worry, something he never would have wanted for him. He needed to speak.

“… you look like a fairy.” Dang it, the traitor again, where was his filter?!

Krel blinked with those unbelievable eyes of his.

“What is a fairy?”

“Oh, huh, uhm…” Seamus swallowed, pondering if it was even a good idea and deciding that what in the world, he was talking to his friend who was a freaking extraterrestrial, rationality was officially out. “Uhm, do you have, like, legends and stories where you come from?” Krel nodded. “Well, a fairy is like a mythical creature, invented, that doesn’t exist.” Ah, he could already see the frown forming, his thoughts going somewhere like ‘I am right here you soolian’. “They are like magical beings coming from the forest… of such an ethereal beauty they cannot be real.” He almost breathed those last words, because they were almost too true all of the sudden.

The Akiridion widened his eyes, which was a sight. He was frozen, taken back, then he slowly melted into a smile. The first smile Seamus had seen of him in this form. It was as beautiful as ever, something that made him feel so lucky that Krel had trusted him enough to show him thi- Holy, freaking, mole, were his cheeks glowing? Was that an alien blush?!?

“Thank you.” Too many thank yous today, and his crush was an alien. It made sense in the fact that it didn’t make sense. “Truly, for being fine with this.”

Seamus grinned, holding his hand again. It felt a little warmer than before.

“One of my best friends is an Akiridion, how could I not? This is the dream!”

Krel beamed at him, going for the hug, making him gasp.

“You are a really good person. I knew it.” His voice was sweet. Everything felt immensely warm. The blonde was almost too overwhelmed by the fact that his crush had two arms plus to hug him to fully realize that his heart had not beat. Perhaps it was an Akiridion thing, he really wanted to know. They pulled away after a while. Krel’s cheeks were glowing again, Seamus suspected his own weren’t doing much better. “Uhm, I will take it you have some questions.” He looked away, and it was adorable to see.

“Make that some something like a thousand.” Seamus laughed a little. “Would that be okay?”

“Yes of course, you deserved to clear all the doubts you might have.” This was too good, Krel was an Akiridion, still his friend and he had another reason to spend time with him while daydreaming about his hopeless feelings. This day had been amaz- “Perhaps we could go on a less secluded place? Aja might come back soon, and I have not told her about my intention to tell you just yet, she might berate me over the fact that I did not want her to tell Steve before.” He could totally picture it. It made him snicker. “Would Sam’s be okay? Or another place maybe? Just the two of us?”

Today Seamus felt like anything other than his usual perfect student self, because his mind was struggling unbelievably. He looked up, crossing those eyes again, that embarrassed and hopeful expression of his over his brand-new appearance.

He swallowed, hoping his last brain cell wasn’t going to betray him.

“Is… is this a date?” Glowing blush at maximus.

“W-well, let’s just say that this reveal was not the only reason I wanted you to come this urgently.” He went to scratch his palm again, his glowing blue palm. “Before I could try any kind of courting ritual I wanted to be sure you were going to accept my current form… accept me, for who I really ma.” He looked at him, sending him pure shivers. “Is this okay?”

This was a dream, it had to be. That, or maybe this was the outcome, the reward at turning his back to who he used to be, in order to be a good person. Enough for an amazing person.

He was speechless. Then, faster than his insecurities, the blonde kissed the Akiridion’s forehead and hugged him again. He could feel him trembling a little, then embracing back, as much as he could. Seamus had never felt this happy before.

“Of course, it is.” He closed his eyes, grinning so much his cheeks hurt. “You’re okay.”

You’re perfect, Krel.

[littleoddwriter]

buzzfeed unsolved but its zsaszmask

Unsolved | Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz | ZsaszMask AU

Fellow wheezers, who happen to ship ZsaszMask, this is for you!

Thanks for the request!!!

Also, in case anyone might be confused, let me explain why I chose their roles the way I did.

So, in m BFU ZsaszMask AU, Roman is Shane (sceptic) and Victor is Ryan (believer). I did that because frankly, Roman has no respect for anything or anyone, especially not dead things, so I feel as though he'd take on more of a sceptical role in terms of paranormal things, whereas Victor would be more inclined to believe in these things, since he's already quite superstitious, etc. So, that was really all the thought behind the roles. Still, Victor doesn't react as heavily as Ryan truly does because that would just be hella out of character, I think.

I hope you enjoy it!

summary; Just a Buzzfeed Unsolved AU of ZsaszMask. It focuses more on the Supernatural Seasons (after establishing it all) because I thought that'd be more interesting.

notes; nothing notable, other than Domestic Fluff and Kisses, I guess.

Despite committing murders on their own, Roman and Victor were quite intrigued by true murder cases, as well; especially those that have never been solved. They fascinated them. Sometimes they drew inspiration from them for their next victims, always open to try out new things, most notably if it was supposed to send a message. Sometimes they’d just make fun of them, though. It was one of their favourite pastimes, really.

Eventually, on his research, Roman stumbled across this whole niche of true crime fanatics. People discussed these things online, either on blogs or even YouTube videos. It got them a hell of a lot of attention – and money, too.

With that in mind, Sionis proposed the idea of opening their own YouTube channel with videos like those he’s seen to Zsasz, who wasn’t exactly enthused, but he didn’t care.

Think about the publicity and the money, Victor, he’d said which made his partner shrug and agree that – sure, if that’s what Roman wanted, he wasn’t the one to deny him.

After a short while of making these unsolved true crime videos, they gained a lot of online popularity. It delighted Roman! Sometimes, he’d even sit down to read the comments, and gave into what caught his attention after reading the same suggestion one too many times.

Apparently, people wanted them to lean more into the supernatural side of things, explore cases that could only be explained by the seemingly unreal and paranormal; ghosts, demons, aliens – that kind of bullshit. Roman didn’t believe in any of this crap, but more publicity meant more money, and that promise made Roman happy enough to subject himself to these things.

Although, he had to admit that Victor’s reaction to it surprised him a little.

“No! We shouldn’t,” shot right out of him the moment Roman had said they’d cover such cases in the very near future.

“Why? Don’t tell me you actually believe this shit.”

“Well- not really, but I also don’t wanna test it,” Victor started stumbling over his own words then to try and come up with a weak excuse.

Huh. Roman had never taken him for someone like that, but he saw it in a positive light, since it only guaranteed to make this whole thing a lot more fun.

Apparently it wasn’t just fun, but those videos gained even more views – quickly. Upon reading the comments, even more people now thought they were a couple (such comments have already started beforehand) – and they were, but the public needn’t find out about that. It’d only put them in danger among their rivals in Gotham’s underbelly, so they didn’t announce anything and have consciously tried to stay as neutral as possible on screen. They had to cut out some kisses they shared here and there in their videos’ post-production, though. Sometimes they just couldn’t help themselves.

Still, the supernatural type of videos seemed to make their chemistry pop, which didn’t necessarily surprise Roman, since they actually travelled to the places they’d talk about and investigate them, hands-on, looking for evidence of paranormal beings and activities. So it was only to be expected that they’d sometimes forget they were being filmed at all and therefore just acted like themselves in these situations.

Roman naturally took on the role of a sceptic, as he didn’t believe in any of it, nor did he have any respect for these supposed ghosts whatsoever. Victor on the other hand – well, he tried to act as though he didn’t truly believe; but once they visited the infamous Sallie House and upon the flash-lights mysteriously having turned on and off on their commands to the alleged demon, Zsasz couldn’t hide his… apprehension, any longer.

It amused Roman greatly as he just laughed at Victor’s reaction, which was subtle enough – he jumped and had wide eyes, but otherwise didn’t react – but to Roman it was as if he had jumped up and shrieked, considering that Zsasz usually didn’t show any fear at all.

People ate that shit up, though. They revelled in either reaction, thinking the contrast was perfect and made watching the video less scary, and far more enjoyable. Roman was loved for his taunting, his blatant disrespect and the way he coaxed Victor into unintentionally communicating with the demon as well. Zsasz was also praised for making others laugh by being rather afraid, despite his tough exterior, and some even sympathised with him.

Additionally – and unfortunately a part they had filmed, but couldn’t leave in the video – Victor had been still a little mad at Roman for daring to talk to the supposed demon and roping him into it, despite having been told not to, when they had been on their way home the next day – after having spent the night at the house.

He was sitting in the car, on the front passenger seat, his arms were crossed and he was pouting. Cute, really. He just adored his little lapdog.

“Aw, baby, don’t pout. Nothing happened, we’re both still alive. That demon was nothing but a fake fuck anyway,” Roman cooed, grinning at Victor from the backseat he sat in.

Zsasz turned his head and glared at him, “Don’t test it. I told you! It’s dangerous. Could’ve killed you for all we know.”

“But it didn’t. Now quit being scared, or whatever. It just stopped being cute.”

Victor rolled his eyes and turned his head back to look out of the window. “I’m only looking out for you,” he had muttered, which Roman only caught when they cut the video.

Upon finding that out, he made it up to his partner with a bird for him to free and a good time in bed afterwards.

After a couple of years of making these videos, they had gained quite the cult following. And despite having only been in for the publicity and money at first, Roman found himself genuinely enjoying making these videos. Victor, too, he knew. Frankly, they both just loved being able to spend time with each other in the way they had before anyway, only to be paid for it as well.

Some of the most amusing things to both of them, though, were all the fan theories and speculations about them that their audience came up with at times.

Supposedly, Roman himself was a demon, which would explain why all his disrespect hasn’t killed him yet (obviously that wasn’t the case, but he revelled in it nonetheless). Others speculated about their relationship, and some even talked about Victor’s scars, wondering where they came from and why there seemed to be more every other video. They never addressed any of these things, of course, only amusing themselves with it during a late night.

One time, they spent the night at an allegedly haunted place again –The Dauphine Orleans Hotel – even sharing a bed this time. Their viewers were sure to latch onto that, Roman smiled to himself. They left the camera on during the night, in case they would catch any ‘evidence’ of paranormal activities, while they slept. Sionis only thought about how much footage they’d have to cut out in the end.

At first, they just lied next to each other, cracking jokes and talking nonsense, until Roman has had enough of that at least.

“Are we doing more of this, or can I use the Jacuzzi hot tub that we’ve been blessed with?”

“Are you serious?” Victor asked, looking at him incredulously.

Roman just looked back at him, “Are we going to spend the night here and not use that?”

For the video’s sake, they put swimming trunks on that they’ve brought with them. They filled the tub with water and sat in it. Roman went to turn on the jets, but had to find that they unfortunately didn’t work.

“The jets don’t work,” Victor explained for the camera, after they had agreed to keep filming it anyway, thinking it might be funny to put it in the video to lighten up the mood some more.

They both laughed, the entire situation was just so ridiculous to them.

“We’re just two guys sitting in a tub,” Zsasz continued, chuckling, while Roman just kept laughing.

Later, they were lying in the bed; Roman had his arms around Victor, wanting to sleep. His partner seemed calm to the camera – even though they’d have to cut this out anyway – and anyone’s naked eye, but fuck, he could feel Zsasz’s rapid heartbeat.

“Calm down, baby. Nothing’s going to happen, I promise,” Roman murmured against Victor’s shoulder, pecking it.

“I don’t know, boss. I just feel like something’s off.”

“That’s only because you actually believe in this crap and think every noise is a ghost, or demon, or fuck knows what else. I can assure you, though. The only real threat is I if you don’t calm down and go the fuck to sleep soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah, alright.”

“Good boy,” Roman cooed and nudged Victor to turn around in his arms, so he could capture his lips in a gentle, yet searing kiss.

“Still,” Sionis then said, curiosity having finally killed the cat after all these years, “You’re usually not… like that. Are you just acting it up for the camera, or? Because you really don’t need to. I had thought you weren’t afraid of anything, no matter what.”

“Just of losing you,” Victor mumbled, barely audible at all, but with how quiet the room’s been Roman caught it anyway.

“Is that all of it has been about?”

“I guess, I don’t know. I just know that the way you keep daring these creatures makes me fucking paranoid that something’s gonna come after you and kill you and I wouldn’t be able to protect you.”

Roman clicked his tongue and cooed, “Aw, Victor. Fuck, I didn’t know you could be so sentimental! Disgusting.” He grinned. “I’m not going anywhere any time soon, ‘kay? Who else is going to be King of Gotham in a few years then?”

Stroking his fingers over Roman’s cheek, Victor chuckled, “Yeah, okay. You’re right. I guess it all just kinda crossed my wires or some shit.”

They kissed again, lazy, tired and gentle. It was so intimate that for a moment, both of them forgot everything around them, forgot why and where they had been in that moment, since none of it mattered.

Looking back on that footage, they were forced to cut it all out, but they kept it safe, never wanting to forget about it entirely. It may have been one of their most genuine and intimate moments of their shared lives that hadn’t involved a dead body and Roman loved it.

[anfie-in-the-box]

Woke up not too long ago and decided to go through my blog, reblogs of my writing specifically. Now I might or might not be crying just a little bit and for sure have things to say.

You people are the absolute best. In years I haven't gotten such persistent response to my works as I do here, on this site with this audience. Of course, special thanks for those few who read and like and even reblog almost every work I choose to post, and even other posts as well, — I see you, and it's a unique, extraordinary kind of joy to see the same url pop up in my notifications time and again. I won't name anyone, but if you're one of those incredible people, please know you are highly appreciated and make my days so very much better, and me — a bit more confident in what I'm doing. And I really need all the confidence I can get. So you guys are a gift to my mind and soul. For those who are not as invested, it's okay and you are valued too! I appreciate every reader and every follower I get, I don't need neither many nor very active ones to love every single one of you who decided to take their time and spend it on reading any work of mine. And if you even make a reblog? Leave a comment? Oh goodness. It's such a special feeling to receive actual comprehensive (or not so much, that's cool, too!) words in response. And don't even get me started on drawings. I still cannot believe I got a few already, and I'm just getting started with every single work of mine! Seriously, there is so much more to come, and here you people are, already getting wild. Inspiring others to do something of their own based on my things is simply incredible. An indescribable feeling I cannot possibly even start explaining.

All in all, this is my readers' appreciation post 💗

Also, please do feel free to interact with me or my posts! It doesn't have to be anything big or small, just anything is perfect if it suits you. A like, or a question, or a whole bunch of text with theories/feelings/critique/whatever, etc. Literally everything and anything. Even if it seems stupid or unnecessary or whatever. I'd be delighted to have your response in any way. But do not feel obligated or pressured, this blog's supposed to be free of that stuff! It's okay if you don't feel like it, or need to take a break from my writing, or quit reading whatsoever (especially with things like Ragdollsverse, which will become rather dark and unpleasant as it goes on). Self-care comes first 🌻

Oh. By the way, you know what's the most incredible part for me? The fact that English isn't even my native language. My level isn't even that great. Yet here people are, genuinely liking what I write in a foreign freaking language, how that works is beyond me. Am I seriously good? Like, not real-novel-level good, of course, not as I'd like to be with Russian one day, which is my native language, but. Wow. Blows my mind every time. Every day, I'd even say. Every breathing moment, if you let me be dramatic for a moment. Here, imposter syndrome hits hard, so every comment is even more important than you might think. Any validation is just invaluable to me, since I'm this insecure about writing even in Russian, let alone English. I do try to work with a few dictionaries while writing in English, plus his bless Grammarly, but still... Writing is not just a hobby for me, it's all serious, so people loving what I do even in another language does funny things to my soul and mind.

It's just. So great to have you all. Thanks for sticking with me. Hope you keep enjoying yourself, because I sure am not stopping. Have fun tagging along ⭐

[bubble-tae]

BTS as Boyfriends

Namjoon

• Really just enjoys your company 

• Being in the same room but doing two different things like folding laundry or reading, as long as you’re there 

• No conversation is a stupid conversation 

• Even the light ones hold a lot of value 

• Has a lot of weird theories about people and the world 

• Listening to him is fine, but being able to keep up an intellectual report is preferred 

• On the flip side he’s such a goofball 

• Gets confused about simple things like how to open the lock on the front door 

• Spends a lot of time showing you cute baby animal videos 

• Talks about the future often 

• Marriage/kids/growing old/etc 

• Always obsessed with some new quirky phone game

• If it’s multiplayer he will make you download it too 

• Date nights are always just at home 

• Why go out when you can stay in and play board games? 

• I imagine you both reading in bed at night and talking about if the book sucked or not 

• Intimacy is a private thing 

• No PDA whatsoever, maybe hand holding but that’s it 

• Your family/friends love him more than you, oops 

Seokjin

• Y’all know the crackheadery that’s going to go on 

• Tries to pull pranks but is bad at them 

• Hypes you up as much as he hypes himself up 

• “Waaaah look at this beautiful couple standing in the mirror, so stunning” 

• Very good at turning your sour mood into a good one 

• He’ll listen to your problems, helps you solve them, and then acts like an idiot until you feel better 

• He’s everyone’s best friend so social situations with him are a breeze 

• Likes double dates 

• Sunday’s are lazy days but boy does he clean up nice for Friday night holy shit 

• It’s all about food all the time. The journey is food. The destination is food. 

• I’m serious if there’s no food at a party y’all are leaving 

• Has a mega sweet side

• LOVES BEING LITTLE SPOON HES NOT ASHAMED 

• Wakes you up with tickles and coffee/tea

• Somehow your pantry always has new bottles of wines in them???? 

• If you drink he wants to try a new one almost every night 

• But is super picky, will dump half the bottle down the drain 

• At the end of the day you’re each other’s number ones 

Yoongi

• Soft baby 

• Not super vocal about affection, more physical 

• Playing with your hands, the sleeves of your sweater, etc 

• Looks of affirmation 

• You’ll be in a room of a group of friends and you’ll catch his gaze and give you a sweet smile 

• Spoil you but in a nonchalant way 

• Give you expensive jewelry without batting an eye 

• But will get embarrassed giving you a small sentimental gift 

• Sharing sweat pants, hoodies, beanies, and everything else that’s big n cozy 

• Will blush when he says he loves you 

• Which won’t be super often but really random, though he means it so fucking much 

• Please give him cheek kisses, it’s his weakness 

• Following asleep with his head on your lap is how he likes to spend his afternoons 

• He’ll send you little beats he’s made just cause 

• Will smile while watching you do something and then pretend he wasn’t when you turn to look at him 

• 100% will compliment your mind more than your physical appearance but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the way you look 

• Overall just a quiet boy full of love

Hoseok

• Y’all never stop talking 

• Like living together is a nightmare cause you talk all night 

• He’s hyper with most but is super gentle with you 

• Like loud and bubbly in public but whispers cute things in your ear 

• Will always come home from any store with things for you 

• Like he’ll go out for eggs and come back with 10 of your favorite sweets 

• Plays music REALLY LOUD 

• Wants you to dance with him so he can spin you around the room 

• A new album will drop from his favorite artist and he plays it at home and in the car and on his speakers and everywhere he can until you’re sick of it 

• Wants to adopt every puppy he sees 

• You’ll have to drag him out of the pet store 

• Online shopping for clothes 

• There are always packages showing up at the door, you think he has a problem 

• But there’s stuff in there for you too so you don’t complain 

• Tries to be romantic but doesn’t really get it ? 

• Like lighting lots of lavender candles but almost burns the house down 

Jimin

• TOUCHY 

• omg he wants physical contact all the time 

• Kissing your hands, cheeks, shoulders, any part of your exposed skin honestly 

• Will always want his hair played with 

• Like will let you do dumb little braids and ponytails or whatever you want for fun 

• Wants to take you out all the time for dinners and dates 

• You’ll probably start watching a bunch of series together but never finish any of them

• Brutally honest 

• If he thinks an outfit doesn’t look good he won’t sugar coat it 

• Ultimate hype man though when you’re rockin’ it 

• Like mini fashion shows at the store the employees get so sick of you 

• Spoils you with jewelry 

• There’s no need to have all these diamond bracelets but he can’t help himself 

• You’ll go on and on about something you really enjoy and even if he doesn’t get it he’ll listen 

• If someone says anything bad about you he will sass them, no fists just harsh words lmao 

• Jealous type so please give him lots of attention

Taehyung 

• Words of affirmation 

• Calls you cute no matter what you’re doing 

• You could have the worst cold and he’d say your mucus-sneeze was adorable 

• Weekend walks at the park

• ^Stopping to take a picture with every lizard/frog/insect you two see 

• Going out for coffee but steals yours cause he likes it more 

• Begs you to stay up to watch the stars 

• Falls asleep before they even come out

• Whines about it the next day until you kiss it better 

• Tries to cook for you but is so bad at it

• But you’ll eat his burnt steak cause you love him for trying 

• I feel like he leaves sticky notes everywhere of just doodles??? They don’t even say anything he just gets bored 

• Will laugh at your cheesy jokes 

• Doesn’t know what to do when you’re mad like he just goes full baby mode 

• When he’s upset he gets all pouty and just wants to be held 

• ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT MUSEUM DATES 

• Deep talks about art and the universe that you won’t remember the next day 

• Maybe I’m hyper biased but just a good ole boy 

Jungkook

• meme king 

• Sends you everything he thinks is funny 

• If you aren’t following his Twitter is it even love 

• Anime watch parties 

• Will make you dress up as dorky characters for Halloween 

• Forgetful 

• Like “oh shit it’s our anniversary??” But will make it up to you the next day

• He’s such a classic romantic 

• Flowers and chocolate and heart shaped lockets 

• The lockets are matching, of course 

• Wants a secret couple tattoo 

• Will cry during romantic movies 

• Insistent on doing everything because he’s always babied and wants to be able to baby someone 

• Gets absorbed into trying to learn a new skill so often that you can barely keep up 

• Last week it was the cinematic history of horror and this week it’s managing stocks for beginners??? 

• Honestly loves it when you watch him play video games 

• Will love it more if you get frustrated with how bad he is and take the controller/keyboard from him to show him how it’s done 

• Doesn’t have to be older than him but loves strong/powerful women 

[zoe-oneesama]

Serving up some LOOKS! I love Mylene's Ivan sweatshirt! Would you be willing to talk about what sort of style elements you use for each character? (If you already have and I haven't found it, please ignore the question, that's on me)

I mostly did this for Mendeleiev’s class back when Punch was starting Leave for Mendeleiev, and I did a small run down for how the Main 5 fashion will change in Scarlet Lady, but not Bustier’s class sooooo:

Marinette -[I’m copy/pasting from an earlier ask]- When she likes a color, she sticks with it. She has a versatile wardrobe, but pink must always be present. She has the hardest to nail style because she experiments all the time, but no matter what she doesn’t feel comfortable unless she has an outer layer. Summer, Winter, Shorts, Pants, she needs to the comfort of a jacket - for Tikki to hide in when her purse isn’t appropriate.

Adrien -[Also C/P]- Basic B*tch. He thinks he’s fancier than he is. Oh sure, his clothes are well tailored to him and fit well, but they’re basic as hell. Gabriel isn’t as “innovative” as he thinks he is. Most of his clothes have the Gabriel logo and he sticks to the brand…because Adrien has no fashion sense whatsoever. Oh, he knows in theory what works and can put an outfit together, but he doesn’t want to. If it were up to him, he’d wear tshirts with physics puns and cat themed jackets. But alas, when one is an icon…

Alya -[C/P]- Mom Vibes. Fashion is not her priority. She knows enough to do good for her figure, but otherwise can’t really be bothered. Flannels and jeans in varying heights and a snappy tshirt are all she needs. But she is drawn to things that remind her at least of superheroes or superpowers. Her ridiculous high tops with the spiky tongue? She thinks it makes her look fast. She’s also the one who’s going to embarrass Marinette by wearing trendy but “garbage” fashion: fanny packs, Jellies, ugs with sweatpants. Dammit Alya, you’re a beautiful human being, do you mind NOT dressing like a hobo on vacation?! (Secretly her favorite outfits are from Martinique, but she saves them for special occasions).

Nino -[C/P]- Precious trash goblin. Wash your shirts and the neckline won’t be so worn out! He likes graphic tees with his favorite bands and DJs logos on them (he’s partial to ones without the name of the band or DJ so he can find other fans) and prefers things to be loose. He’s also drawn to colors and he’s super chill when his “garbage” girlfriend rolls up to a date looking like she’s going to an amusement part with her four kids, because it means she can’t dump on him for not looking “put together” (she would never!). He’ll try to dress up every now and then for a fancier date or when Adrien manages to snag him a spot at an event with him, but it’s pretty clear he’s uncomfortable without his hat and headphones. He has a few Moroccan outfits that he brings out in the Summer.

Chloe - Expensive Fashion Forward Chic. She made a staple out of shaming anyone else who dared to wear her favorite color yellow over the years. She was extremely smug about being the first in her grade to experiment with makeup that she never bothered to get good at it. Her clothes are expensive with just a smidge of impractical - only someone with cash to burn would constantly wear white pants! She’s also the kind of person to put off dressing for the cold as long as she can- if she puts on all these jackets and layers, how will these peasants see my brand name clothes underneath?! A lot of her fashion decisions are based on long forgotten advice from her mother - gold over silver jewelry, always have something on your head, brand or nothing. She’ll only abandon a well worn trend if her mother directly contradicts it.

Sabrina - Nerdy, geeky, almost like she’s wearing a uniform. She’s preparing to be Chloe’s assistant best friend for life so she has to look the part. She’s long abandoned any hope of shining next to Chloe, so being flashy and showy is out of the question. Luckily, Chloe isn’t drawn to patterns, so that’s a field of fashion that Sabrina can claim for her own. Doesn’t matter where it is, something she’s wearing needs to have a pattern. Leggings are her favorite accessory and she’s taken to collecting Chat Noir merch (though it’s less out of admiration for the hero himself and more for her “role” with Chloe. It reminds her of the rare times when Chloe acts like they’re friends.)

Mylene - Bohemian, and a touch artsy. Peace is important to her and her vibe reflects that. She’s not super up for showing a lot of skin, but neither are a lot of girls in her class. She leans towards a muted color palette so that her hair doesn’t clash, though she usually tries to match one piece of clothing to some color in her hair. Her accessories are a bit childish and kitchy, like her monster head bead, and she has a huge collection of hair accessories, like bandannas and headbands. She has a lot of different passions with various levels of seriousness, so she’ll come to Marinette for advice on how to use her wardrobe to fit the level of professionalism she wants.

Alix - Sporty but on the lazier side. Fashion is such an anti priority. She’s the one Marinette will go to for her more out there ideas because she has no recoil to pants made of buckles or shapeless over shirts, but that’s as far as it goes. Her clothes are made to be weather resistant and easy to slip on (and so that her dad won’t be pissed if she wipes out and rips something). If it were up to her, she’d just shop out of thrift stores and pick out all the color blocked 80s windbreakers, but when your whole squad is held together by a fashion designer, you can only get away with so much. Her nicest clothes are made by Marinette for her professional races and competitions and her favorites have nods to Egypt mythology and history.

Ivan - Punk but like…beginners guide to punk. Let’s be honest, when you’re built like a brick house, shopping is hard - or at least not that much fun. Ditto when you’re a dude that just…doesn’t particularly care. Ivan has a bunch of cargo pants because they fit, they’re grungy, and they’re practical. SO MANY POCKETS!!! Beyond that, like Nino, he prefers to wear band shirts of his favorite groups. His hiking boots are the nicest things he owns and he has a few bracelets that he only brings out when he’s “dressing up”. The most colorful thing he owns is a hoodie/pants set from the Cartoon Monster Show that Mylene’s hair bead is modeled after.

Kim - Sporty and Serious. Sweatpants and running shoes. That’s the make of his wardrobe. After all, you need to be able to challenge anyone to a race at ANY TIME!! Dressing up for him means putting on a pair of jeans, and he’s pretty much always under dressed but also completely oblivious to the fact. Red is his favorite color and he’s partial to that one brand of sports wear that’s on his hoodie-shirt and sweatband. If something is waterproof (and therefore, sweatproof) he’ll give it a try AS LONG AS IT’S REEEEED!!!

Max - Geek Fashion. Max dresses like he’s already 65 years old, and with his best friend being Kim? He might be. He has invested in some good walking shoes because when your bestie is running off at any and every moment, you gotta do SOMETHING to keep up. His pants are higher up than most guys and his shirts are always tucked in. He prefers sweaters over sweatshirts and cardigans to jackets. We are comfortable in this house, not trendy!

Juleka - Electro Goth. Black is the main attraction, but she likes that punch of something neon - purple, green, even blue (Rose can tell she’s feeling romantic when she puts on some pink). She’s tall and likes clothes that accentuate that and she’s a fan of the details - shoulder cuts, lace inserts, epaulets. And despite covering half her face, she’s really into makeup (and she’s way better than Chloe). Does she have colored contacts? She’ll never tell.

Rose - Decora Kei is probably the best shortcut to describing her look, followed by Kawaii Fashion. Doesn’t matter if she burns to look at, she IS the embodiment of soft and cute! Obviously pink is her favorite color, bu she also likes pairing it with some other bright colors. Rainbows. Are. EVERYTHING. And she’s a sucker for bunnies and strawberries and angel wings ^^! How else is she supposed to have an amazing day if she’s not decked out in sunshine?!

Nathaniel - Basic but like Colorful Basic. He definitely hopped the skinny jeans phase and will continue to do so until he finally grows a bit. He holds onto clothes pretty long because there’s only so many times you can buy new shirts after getting paint and charcoal on them before you just stop caring. He aims for durability instead of fashionable, but also collects clothes with the logo from the show he likes. (And no one knows about his secret Ladybug merch collection that he only wears around his house).

Lila - Gyaru was the search term I used. She’s one of the few with a not super saturated color palette, sticking to dark neutrals. She’s drawn to patterns, like polka dots and zebra prints, and tries to balance it with neutral colors. Plus anything that makes her seem “exotic” and foreign and more interesting, she’ll wear (as long as it’s stylish enough for her.) She cleverly toes the line between fashionable and trashy, showing just enough skin or using a just flashy enough pattern. Every piece she wears she’s crafted a whole story around how she got it, like her bracelets being a gift from street kids in Belize or her earrings being a prize she won when impressing an East Asian Prince.