#this is one of the reasons i realized i was nonbinary

[nowendil]

been thinking a lot about womanhood lately

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.

anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.

She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”

yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.

all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.

[rexscanonwife]

OMG HI! i must have been living under a rock when you came out as lesbian bc i had no idea until a few seconds ago! and i’ve been ur moot for 4 years 😭😭😭 my title has been revokeddddd *dramatic*

MARNIEEEE 💖💖 no you're totally ok because tbh...I didn't officially come out online 😅

I came out to close friends and ofc my partner, but I just wasn't sure how to announce it, if it was necessary to. And tbh was a little worried bcs I ship primarily with guys and I didn't wanna get backlash for it

But I've done a lot of thinking about myself in the last few months and I'm pretty sure now that I am a lesbian and I'm proud of it!

[nomaishuttle]

like itpisses me awfff actually my mom outting me. bc my family on my dads side is like. fairly conservative. and she just went in calling me connor using he him like. dude. do you wanna hse a tiny bit of fuckin tact. i didnt ask her to do that and she NEVER considered what name she should use for me. and like. luckily my extended family Just kinda went with it i think bc they felt guilty for. The zoo. and related events LOL. and theyve been rly good abt it even my papaw and i wasnt sure he would. so yk... but i wish i had like. gotten to choose who knew yk. IDK basically

[existentialistqueer]

i've realized that part of watching heartstopper that hits me so hard is a sense of grief for a teenage experience that i never got to have. so much of the show is full of such powerful, uplifting moments. but being someone who wasn't out and never had the chance to have that first love as a teenager where it feels like that person is everything... man it's bittersweet

[sirompp]

enough about YOU, whats your OC'S pronoun pipeline?

[k1rishiki]

maybe it's a good thing i didn't find gundam sooner bc i DEF would have changed my name to char

[dandyshucks]

best part of non-real worldbuilds (like any worldbuilds that aren't just... our actual world we're living in rn exactly as it is fdsjkl) is that I can just decide transphobia does not exist in them and that I could be gendered correctly and it would not be an issue in any way shape or form.

Guz is cool with me being nonbinary/transneutral because I've decided that is just a normal thing in pkmn world. people like me exist and it's totally normal. and yknow,,, even if i did a real-world AU with him, he still would be chill about trans and nonbinary ppl existing bc his whole thing is like. going against traditions he thinks are stupid and shaking up the status quo and being a leader for outcasts so,,,, him being transphobic would just be stupid and OOC lmao

[ff2-soda-pop]

the amount of characters i liked in the past for reasons i just Could Not Explain before i discovered things about my identity grows every day </3

[fordtato]

For an essay I am working on:

"trans" here includes anyone, binary, nonbinary, intersex, etc. who uses the trans label or feels aligned with the community.

For those who are not trans, even if you do not take the survey a SIGNAL BOOST/REBLOG would be appreciated.

Also, I understand that there might be multiple items on this list that apply, but try to pick the one you feel the strongest.

LASTLY, I feel as though all of these reasons for identifying as trans are incredibly valid. THERE IS NO BAD REASON FOR BEING TRANS.

Accompanying survey on pronouns here

[cats-in-the-clouds]

for me personally back when i was a crazed young internet leftie, abortion was the one thing they never managed to change my mind on. and i think it’s because 1. it’s probably the easiest to argue against from a secular/purely ethical point of view (not that you can’t do so for the other issues but they’re trickier) and also 2. it’s like the one modern controversy that they were willing to actually touch back in Catholic school. they were willing to condemn the atrocity that is abortion to young kids and teens who like. didn’t even know where babies came from. always found that kinda funny. but i guess as long as you know what pregnancy itself is then you get the gist.

but nobody wanted to talk to the kids about the various issues surrounding gender and romantic/sexual attraction. they never wanted to teach that because they never even wanted to touch that. possibly because back then it honestly wasn’t even a mainstream topic yet- it was still just some horrid taboo to be laughed at in passing at most (which just absolutely sucks no matter what you believe- nobody should be mocked for a feeling they didn’t choose). but if you don’t teach your kids about a topic, then someone else will do it for you. and if that someone is wackos on the internet, your kid is fresh outta luck.

i didn’t start hearing actual well-formed Church arguments on sexuality and gender stuff until i was in high school and already indoctrinated otherwise by hyper liberal internet circles. it’s a miracle i met this one really great teacher who finally explained stuff in a way that made sense to me because otherwise i probably would’ve gone the rest of my life hating the Church and hating myself.

anyway basically proper Catholic education makes a world of difference and people need to find a way to incorporate it into the lives of the kids they’re raising/teaching. without seething with contempt or insensitive, ignorant mockery. because the depressed girl who’s convinced she’s a nonbinary lesbian or whatever sitting in the back of the classroom hearing you say some nasty crude stuff that demonstrates how little you understand about her life experience is not gonna wanna jump into Jesus’s arms is all i’m saying

[demilypyro]

Ok

If your first pick was Sol honestly I get that. He's cool. You might just have terminal main character syndrome tho

If you pick Ky you're just boring. You definitely have main character syndrome but also you're the least interesting person at the function

If your first pick is May you're either a literal demon who heard about the totsugeki memes and wanted in, or you're a cutesy femme and Bridget and Elphelt weren't in the game yet

If your first pick was Axl you think you're the funniest motherfucker in the room at all times and I'm gonna kick your ass. Whether you stick with him will depend on whether you can stand his accent.

If your first pick was Chipp you not only have main character syndrome but you're also a weeb

If your first pick was Potemkin you're going to hell. You picked him specifically because you hate me.

If your first pick was Faust you DEFINITELY think you're the funniest motherfucker in the room, even moreso than Axl

If your first pick was Millia you're either a straight dude who wanted to pick I-no but is ashamed of being horny on main, or you're a chick who describes herself as a "dommy mommy"

If you picked Zato you have main character syndrome but also you liked Shadow more than Sonic

If your first pick is Ramlethal you were either looking for the girl with the biggest sword in the cast, or you have a foot fetish. I'm not kinkshaming, just acknowledging.

Leo seems like he's very popular among gay dudes but that's second hand info. Idk he leaves zero impressions on me

If you picked Nagoriyuki because he's cool you're the only mfer here I respect. If you picked him because he's OP I retract the last statement.

If you picked Giovanna you either wanted to play a cool girl but thought Millia looked too difficult, or you're a furry. Maybe both

If you picked Anji you are bisexual

If you picked I-no youre either a horny straight dude or you're a chick who describes herself as a "dommy mommy" but doesn't actually have sex

If you picked Goldlewis you're based

If you picked Jack-O you either saw the memes but didn't realize how hard she is to actually play, or you played Xrd

If you picked Happy Chaos you either saw the memes or heard he's OP and wanted in, not realizing he's been nerfed since. Idiot

If you picked Baiken you're horny AND a weeb. But honestly I get it

If you picked Testament you're probably a goth, nonbinary, or both, and you're just happy to be represented. Good for you

If you picked Bridget then she's probably the only reason you even bought this game

If you picked Sin you're kind of boring but not quite as boring as people who pick Ky. You might still be pretty cool

If you picked Bedman you were just looking for the weirdest character in the cast and automatically picked that one. If Bedman hadn't been out yet, you would probably have picked Faust

If you picked Asuka you're a nerd and I'm shoving you in a locker

If you picked Johnny you either think you're funny as fuck, or you have ADVANCED main character syndrome. It's inoperable. We have to amputate

If you picked Elphelt you're a lesbian

[harveywritings92]

Stolas : There's one thing I've got to know. Why'd you stay with me all day? Risking your butt for someone who's never given you anything but trouble?

R/n: I know what it's like, y'know? Trying to rebuild a life.

[They hold up a bag, and gives Stolas a book he wanted to buy; but it was sold out, which led to them both getting in to so much trouble] 

R/n: I've had a few bad days, myself.

[Ecstatically, Stolas takes the book and hugs it.] 

Stolas: Nice ones like you shouldn't have bad days. *Bends down and kisses R/n on the forehead.*

R/n, touches their forehead and smiles:

[Stolas felt his heart skipped a beat his eyes widened. He tosses the book over his shoulder and picks a surprised R/n off the ground and gives them a big dang kiss in front of Blitzo and Octavia, who looked at each other incredulously shrugged then looked back at Stolas and R/n just as Stolas set the out breath human back on the ground.]

Stolas, blushing: Call me!~

R/n, smiles shyly as they walk away: Don't push your luck! *Notices Blitzo smirking* Whaddya looking at Blitz?

Blitzo: You realize this makes us proxy F*ck buddies now, right? Maybe next time we can have a threesome!

R/n, facepalming as they gets into his van: Agh....Doubt it.

--------

[R/n = Reader name.]

{Just to note Stolas is gay he loves the reader Platonically. (the reader is AFAB Nonbinary). the reason he kisses them was due to the overwhelming emotions of joy and gratitude brought on from being treated kindly and shown that someone genuinely cares about him and his interests.]

[deramin2]

I don't know how to really express this except to come across as a "kids these days" scold, but so much of the criticism of queerness in Good Omens would simply not be a thing if kids these days watched more 20th century queer media. Or more complex indie queer media in general.

People seem to want a show that's like the straight stories they grew up with but gay. Or the gay fanfiction they grew up with. But that's not really the tradition it's coming from. First off the novel was released in 1990. Queer film classics of the time are Dead Poet's Society (1989) and Torch Song Trilogy (1988). The TV miniseries Tales of the City (1993) wasn't made until 3 years later and it was so far out there it never had a huge audience. Philadelphia (1993) is also 3 years out and was basically the first big studio queer film. The first fluffy queer Hallmark-style romcom wasn't until Big Eden in 2000, a full 10 years after publication.

Queer stories from the time it was written were about complex and often fraught relationships between people who the world was trying to force apart. There is an incredibly strong tradition in queer films of relationships with no guarantees they will work out both in the face of their personal baggage and the weight of the world. Take a film like Torch Song Trilogy that's about the two great loves of Arnold Beckoff's life over 9 years and how homophobia shapes them. Both externally (especially Allen) and internally like Ed struggling with his bisexuality and being terrified of being publicly out. Written and starred in by Harvey Fierstein, who identified as a gay man at the time and only came out as nonbinary last year.

The Boys In The Band (1968 play, filmed 1970 and 2020) was a monumental moment in Broadway history where finally there was a play about gay men in their own words where no one died and very strongly showed that homosexuality doesn't make people miserable but homophobia sure does. But that homophobia also throws their personal lives into constant turmoil and none of them are in happy relationships, although Hank and Larry are devoted to each other in their own fucked up way.

"Relationships are complicated and hard to make work and sometimes a struggle against the odds" is an aesthetic of classic queer film making. Partly it was influenced by the Hays Code (although independent films were not bound to it), partly influenced by the rampant queerphobia in society at the time that was inescapable. But it's also an aesthetic choice to resist the banal and unrealistic relationship depictions of straight media. There are actual stakes to the relationship. Queer people were actively resisting a world that said "Romance is seeing someone across the room and instantly falling in love with each other and little conflicts happen along the way but ultimately they're destined to be together and everything is happily ever after." Recall that "stalking as romance" was a completely inescapable trope in 1980s straight romance films, and every goddamn movie was being turned into a romance film.

So queer people in film and television when they can make what they please have a long tradition of saying instead "People don't always realize the feelings they've developed for a queer partner right away. They may have reasons for denying those feelings that are both a reflection of the cruelty in society and of their own insecurities. People struggle with where they belong and their relationships reflect that. Loving someone doesn't mean they don't also drive you crazy and you might fight with them constantly. But that doesn't negate the love or that feeling that even if things aren't okay, they're better with that person around. But maybe that person can't stay around. The world may be against you. And also maybe you don't just want that one person in your life. Soulmates is a very flawed model. Sometimes the strongest love is a struggle with yourself and the world and your person. You have to overcome yourself first. Happily ever after is a lie. You may be happy for a while, and hopefully for a long while, but everything ends. And you have to be ready to love again. Also your platonic bonds are just as important and life-altering as your romantic ones. Sometimes those platonic bonds include fucking if you want them to. Real life isn't a bunch of platitudes and world-altering moments, it's daily work to better yourself and the world around you. Especially when things just fucking suck. But also remember to have fun and fuck the haters. People who don't support you can eat rocks and you should yell at them more to shut the fuck up."

That is a fundamentally different outlook on what a "good relationship depiction" looks like. Personally, I thought I hated romance movies and then I started watching queer romance movies and discovered I love them and watch them all the time. Because it turns out what I hated was relationships being shown that had nothing at all to do with reality and privileged incredibly toxic ideals. Finally there was complexity, there were stakes, and there were people who had to truly want to be together enough to fight the world for it and not because they happened to be there. There were people actually talking out their problems and looking for resolutions. (And sometimes that resolutions was "I can't fucking deal with this bullshit anymore and I'm out.") For the first time it felt real.

I'm an aroace trans gay man. Nothing about relationships or being in relationships has come easy to me, and the whole paradigm of straight patriarchal romance depictions makes absolutely no sense to me. It's completely alien. Queer romance stories actually feel human.

And that's the tradition Good Omens is coming from, even as it's being retold in 2019-2023 and hopefully beyond. Gaiman's work has always been based in that queer media paradigm. (I've been remiss and daunted and haven't read Pratchett but from what I do know his work also seems to sit more in that world view.) It's a beautiful cinematic tradition and it's baffling to me that people would resist it instead of embracing it for being honest.

And that's when I turn into a crotchety old man complaining about the youth not connecting with the history of their beautiful culture and instead begging for assimilation into a shithole allocishet media landscape that doesn't actually want them except for their money and has nothing at all interesting or valuable to say. But it's very funny (annoying) to me when people claim Good Omens is someone against queer culture when it's so thoroughly bathed in the best of queer media's storytelling traditions and what people are asking for is straight media with the serial numbers filed off. Like, stop being boring please and know literally anything about the culture the adults in the room lived through and were influenced by. The world didn't begin in 2015.

EDIT: I also want to add that in straight media arcs are linear. Traditionally in queer media arcs are cyclical. Queer media very often depicts people going around in circles relearning the same lesson over and over as they inch towards it sinking in. But every time they go through the cycle they gain just a little bit more enlightenment and slowly move towards a better place. From the comments this is an immensely important distinction. People don't actually have cathartic moments where suddenly all their past bad programming is shed and they saunter forward a new person with none of their old baggage. In reality people fall into the same patterns over and over even though they have had every opportunity to learn better. "People magically get better" is a trope of straight media that's an outright and frankly dangerous lie. Again, Good Omens follows the queer tradition not the straight one and it's depicted 6,000 years of that cycle. The world didn't end, and the wheel keeps turning, as it always has and always will. That's so fundamental to queer storytelling traditions I forgot to even mention it.

[transmascissues]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for taking a cross-country trip without telling my parents?

🔜🚇 for ID purposes, my friends will get it lmao

This is being submitted after the trip was taken, so it's in retrospect. I can live with being an asshole if I'm labeled one, I just had a lot of conflicting feelings preceding said trip, even if by now I don't regret it because it was fun. At this point I'm just curious!

I am 26yo and AFAB nonbinary. This is relevant.

During the first week of the year, I took a trip across the USA to go to a convention to meet up with some internet friends I am close to; some id met before, but most were mutuals/people I video chat with regularly.

My parents are extremely catholic. They're very suspicious about online friends in general (so much so I stopped talking to them about going online when I was in high school), and are very transphobic so I'm not out to them. Since I'm AFAB, they're very "oh be careful out there and NEVER do anything alone because it's DANGEROUS." Which feels like a load of crap to me; I'm taking a vacation, not going for a jaunt down a dark alley. My mother in particular is also very into conformity, so I've never told her about my con-going, fandom loving ways.

So I planned and went on this trip, entirely in secret, and lied the entire time I was there. And I had a genuinely great time, no regrets, and not once did I feel unsafe. I told my housemate (almost 26) my flight details and whereabouts so I had backup if needed, and figured that was fine on the safety front. Also I am financially independent, so none of their money was used.

The conflict: obvious I lied a lot. I know my parents would disapprove and would be so mad if they knew. A few of their ideas just center around me being safe, so I felt kinda bad, you know?

A lot of folks will see my age and say I can do what I want, but being brought up by overprotective Christians will indeed make realizing if you're being reasonable or not a whole lot harder! I'm also working on figuring out how to proceed in the future; I still talk to them bc of my elderly pets and extended family. It's complex to navigate. I wanna throw this one to tumblr to decide, I think it would be good to get some random perspective in here. I'll be replying to questions in the comments off anon once/if it's posted :)

So tumblr AITA for taking a secret trip that my parents would've disapproved of top-to-bottom and straight up lying about it?

What are these acronyms?